Doughboys - Dairy Queen with Christine Nangle and Matt Selman Live At L.A Podfest 2016

Episode Date: September 29, 2016

Writer and comedian Christine Nangle (Inside Amy Schumer, Kroll Show) returns to discuss American soft serve icon Dairy Queen and blindside Mitch and Wiger with some big surprises. The Simpsons executive producer Matt Selman joins for a stackable Snack or Wack. Recorded live at the Los Angeles Podcast Festival.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How about a round of applause for Nick and Mike and the Doughboys? Come on! Oh, whatever. Seamless. Margaret Thatcher, aka the Iron Lady, who'd served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom for the entirety of the 1980s, paralleling Ronald Reagan's conservative presidency, died of a stroke at the age of 87. The next week she would receive an official state funeral, which was met by hundreds of hecklers and protestors, many of whom turned their back on the procession, still bitter over her economically ruinous policies of deregulation,

privatization, and union-busting. But back in the 1950s, decades prior to her divisive stewardship of the UK, Thatcher made an unquestionably positive contribution to society. While working as a chemist for Jay Lyons and company, she helped develop an emulsifier used in the production of soft-serve ice cream. Over in the former British colony of the United States, a revolutionary war of sorts would take place over this creamier, airier version of the frozen treat. The combatants, Tom Carvel of Carvel Ice Cream,

and Illinois-based John Fremont McCulloch, who went by the nickname Grandpa. Though both their brands endured to this day, it was Grandpa McCulloch's focus on creating a restaurant with a menu of sweet treats and hot food that ultimately put his company on top, its franchises becoming a fixture in the American South and Midwest. In 1985, his stores would introduce the Blizzard, a concrete-like concoction swirled with candy mixings that is perhaps its signature creation. Now with over 4,800 domestic locations here in America, McCulloch's legacy is the only queen we recognize.

This week on Doughboys, Dairy Queen. Welcome to Doughboys, live at the Los Angeles Podcast Festival. How is everybody? We're going to get right into it. I'm Nick Weiger. Let me introduce my co-host, a police composite sketch of Grimace. Give it up for Mike Mitchell the Spoon Man. Mitch, you've taken your seat at the far opposite end of the table. There are two seats between us. I'm going to sit down here if you don't mind.

It's like CNN's Crossfire. Here we go. Yeah, scooch on over. Hey, everybody. Thank you for coming. It's so much better than standing in the corner awkwardly like we were for a long time. I just want to say, howdy-how to Spoon Nation. Ooh, it's weird to do it live.

Do you want to try the aux cord? You're just going to play it in the mic. You had yours in the aux thing? It did not work, yeah. What do you call the aux what? The aux cord, right? Auxiliary cord? The aux cord, okay. Is that something people say? It sounded like one word.

Okay, here we go. I'm just going to play it into the mic. Listen, we begin singing it together. If I should have listened to one before the podcast, it should have been this one, but I did not listen. Don't you put it in your mouth, don't you bite it in your mouth, don't you stop it in your face, don't stop it in your face. I'm turning this song into a movie. I'm starring Peter O'Toole. It's a documentary like House Cooper.

But then, maybe tomorrow I'll want to settle down. Take coffee. 10 seconds. These are Canadian ABCs. Susie likes Harry Balls. What do you think of these? South Park's funny. That was from, I didn't listen to that before.

And you told me to play it. Yeah, but I did. You said to do it. Who out there feels like they're getting their money's worth. You know what? Leave your emails and I'll forward this drop to every one of you. They all get a drop. They didn't think that would happen until the game.

Sorry, buddies. This is from Jesse Karp. The sound's cut out in the last one. I played the last one, the right one. At Jesse Karp for that one. It was a Canadian thing. They were making fun of how you sound like a Canadian, I guess. Do I sound like a Canadian?

Is that the consensus? Really? I'm a lifelong Southern Californian. I'm a surfer dude. I feel like I should have that bro demeanor. You think you're a surfer dude? I think so. I don't surf.

I don't like the ocean. But I do enjoy a swim. Yes. Okay, so you like to swim? I like to swim in public pools. What else about you? What else about you, Reed's surfer dude? I used to have, there was a period during the, when Grunge was in its heyday,

I had Kurt Cobain length hair. And it wore a rage against the machine t-shirt to school. We've gone over this before. That's like a Colorado area. That's not Southern California. That's Columbine. I know. I know the in book.

I got what you were implying. I connected the dots. So Mitch, we had an announcement we were going to make. And we weren't sure what to do it. But I think we should do it right now, just before we bring out our guest. Sure. But there is a, we get a lot of feedback from you guys. And we got a lot of people, probably the thing we get the most is,

why haven't you covered this restaurant yet? Yes, that happens a lot. And there's one, very enraged people. Justifiably and maybe not. Maybe. Yeah, we do a bad job. Yeah. They're right.

You're right to be mad at us. But we get a lot of people who are, who are like wondering, why haven't you done this restaurant yet? And there's one restaurant we haven't done that also you have never been to in your life. That's a big one. One of the biggest chains in America. Yep.

That chain is Red Lobster. And last year we did a. People are gasping. Last year. This is where we lose all our subscribers. Last year we did a very dumb promotion for the month of October called Rocktoberfest where we went to a bunch of rock themed restaurants. We were thinking of doing it again, but there just aren't enough rock themed

restaurants to fill out the month. There are not. No. So in lieu of that. And I almost killed myself. Right. Well, that was unrelated to the podcast. What happened either way?

So for the month of October, we are doing Rock Lobsterfest. Every episode we will be taking Mitch to Red Lobster. And discussing it on the podcast. For a full month. Red Lobster for a full month. So we'll see that. I think that's probably the point. This will be the last month.

That'll be. That'll be the end of it. 100%. This doesn't feel like a. Like the wrestler up here or like black swam or like the lights are so bright and I can't see anyone. Yeah. And I feel like we might die up here or something.

This is very weird. You can't see. It's the weirdest. I can't see anyone. And it feels like the wrestler. There's outlines of people and I'm scared. It's giving me anxiety. It's like if the wrestler didn't have a wife and daughter who wanted him to

survive. It's just a broken man all by himself. Aren't you involved somehow? No. My wife doesn't care. Yeah. No, no, yeah. All right.

So that's what you got to look forward to next month. But as of right now, we have an excellent guest. We're so excited to have her back. She was here for our Olive Garden episode. She's a writer for Inside Amy Schumer and Crawl Show. One of our favorites. Our good friend, Christine Nagel. Christine is taking her seat.

She has brought some sort of large prop with her. She's brought multiple things. In a file folder. So a lot going on. It's like you're presenting a case. It feels like the wrestler up here. You get it though. Right?

Doesn't it? People have seen the wrestler, right? The only movie to take place where things take place on a stage. The wrestler. Right. Hi guys. Now, Nagel, we're going to talk about Dairy Queen. And that's our restaurant today.

But I wanted to get your thoughts on our last chain. If you've revisited it, if you've pondered it anymore, because today when I was making my DQ visit, there was an Olive Garden on the bottom level of the mall. And it got me thinking of our past experiences there. Have you returned? Oh, no, absolutely not. Will you ever return?

Or is that just like a no go from here on out? I feel like when there's an internet cry for a oral history of the Doughboys Olive Garden episode on the AV club, then maybe I'll return. Yeah, I'll return. I'll return when I have kids and I want them to go somewhere for their high school graduation. But no, I haven't.

But I do look back fondly on my time on my DQ visit. But no, I haven't. But I do look back fondly on my time on Doughboys. And I feel a little sad because I feel like I was like, this might be my last time on Doughboys. No. Just because it's like you brought me back. You brought me back so fast.

Oh, you said Nangang. Yeah, you did. Oh, actually that reminds me. Take him out of here. No interruptions. But that does remind me. Last time I was here, Nangang, I brought a drop, my own drop, and Nangang went crazy.

I can't even walk down the street anymore. Oh, Frank, you're hot. My life is so different now. What street are you walking down? All of them. But it's super cool to come back to Doughboys and have to put on makeup and get looked at by people. That's cool.

As you see, Mitch has gone all out in that front. He's gone all out. I showered. I almost didn't shower. You did shower? I almost said, well, we'll get into it because it turns out there's not a lot of Dairy Queens nearby in the Southern California area, right?

Yeah, it's sparsely distributed, I'd say, in LA County. Did anyone go to Dairy Queen in advance of this episode? Anyone make a trip out there? Anyone in the audience at all? No. No, no one. All right. That's not their job.

No, I know it's not their job. I was just saying, if anyone was maybe like, oh, they will proactive. No, no, they should go. We'll wait. You guys go away. OK, so I have brought my own drop. Please, play it.

OK, so. I hope it goes over better than mine. I just want to say. Do you want the aux chord? Stop trying to push the aux chord. No one wants the aux chord. Well, I couldn't get any of my music things to work, so. I feel like it's something.

I'll give it a try. I'll play it twice. OK. I don't know what's up. Nangang. I don't have a thing. All right. I like what's up.

Nangang. That's good. I just want to say Heidi Hoge Nation. And Heidi Hoge Burger Boy Nation as well. This is Korean. That's my mom. And I just can't wait till you stop doing the show and move home. Chewie, we're home.

Oh, my God. What the fuck? You called my mom? Yeah. Did you or did you? Who did this? It wasn't me. Nick knew nothing about this.

Did you hear what she says at the end? Yeah. Chewie, we're home. She says Chewie. Fucking bitch. She might be watching this. I had to tell her this last week not to ever listen to the podcast. Yeah.

You talked to her. She was probably so thrilled that a woman was calling the house on my behalf. Well, we're engaged now. You and I, all right. No, I, a fan sent that in. No, Jack Allison did it for me. Motherfucker Jack. I just texted Allison and I was like, hey, I have an idea for a drop and then it just happened.

Oh, my God. I did it on the other line with your mom when I did it. It happened so fast. It was awesome. Did she say anything else? Did she embarrass me at all? I wasn't on the phone. I wasn't on the phone.

Okay, good. Delete that and delete her number. If anyone can guess Mitch's mom's phone number, you guys get a Doughboyz t-shirt. Yeah, we can set that up. That's fun. Yeah. Use the... That doesn't hurt me.

She has some sort of security system. I'm sure she's fine. We'll use the hashtag Mama Mitchell's Digits and whoever comes closest without going over will do crisis rights rules. Wait, so the digits are like a sum? Yeah. Like, okay. So like, if you go over the number.

Right. If you're higher than what the actual phone number is, then you're just all right. I love the idea that phone numbers have a value. It equals something. Also, Nangang was so popular. Actually, I looked at the hashtag Nangang. I know you guys all searched it. It's also a British hip hop guy that makes mixtapes.

Right. Yes. Yeah. Did you know that? We did. We saw that. We sound so cool. And I thought about, I don't know.

Collaborating? I feel like I'm appropriating it. Or if I'm collaborating, I don't know. But I did have more, another fan situation. Oh my God. Let us see this. All right. You're bringing out some sort of chart or on poster board.

I'm bailing the audience. Wow. If you're, if you're just listening to the podcast, Christine Nangle has produced an ornate piece of art. It says Doe Boys with Christine Nangle in a very large font. And Nick Weiger and Mike Mitchell in a sub script. Very small. And Nick is spelled wrong.

Wait. They spelled the Nick part wrong. Yeah. Yeah. If anything is going to be wrong, I'd expect to be my last name being butchered. There's only a couple of ways to spell Nick. No one spells it N-I-C-H. What does that ever happen?

Relax, Nish. Hey, Chris. So you're, you're, Christine, you, you, your body, you, it looks like they put your head on my body. I gave them, Chris, specific instructions. Van Arts Dylan? It's a fan. He's a fan.

I have fans. I don't know. Um, and I said, you don't, my exact words were, you don't need to try to make my, amend the bodies to make, because I'm a girl. Right. And then he, he did. I think he felt bad about it, but he gave me like one breast. But, uh.

Chris hasn't gone around much. I think he thinks there's just one big boob. But he sent me, he sent me a version of it and, uh, it looked great. And, um, originally it said, nangled across it, like a big stamp. Right. Um, but, uh, my only request was, can you spell Wiger's name wrong? And, uh, can you put a crown on my head? So, um, there's t-shirts, bumper stickers, stuff your fish tank all out in the, in the

movie. I'm going to leave this here. I also brought, uh, the stickers and then, um, some stuff. I didn't know you liked the show this much. We can, I don't. I don't, but fans like me on the show. Right. Because maybe the fans don't like the show that much.

I don't know. But I'm just letting you know the Nangang runs deep. Those are all my bits. That's gonna, that's gonna stay there the entire, the rest of the episode. I like it. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

This guy now has control over the fucking podcast. I'll move it back. And then when I, when Selman comes up on. Um, if you don't mind, I'm going to make an announcement quickly. Please do. Um, but the, the cat that I saved is, is a disease free. I just wanted people to know that it's free of diseases. I've been listening about the cat and it's adorable.

It's a cute little cat. So at this point, Mitch, are you leaning towards brazing or deep frying? It's going to find a home, not your home. You're not going to keep, you're not going to keep the cat. No, I'm not going to keep the cat. I'm going to find a home for it. That's okay. Yeah.

That's okay. I have two. I can't have more than two. You did a very noble thing. I think everyone is impressed by the size of your heart. Oh, literally. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. The literal size of your heart cardiologists are very concerned about. Um, all right. Let's talk a little bit. Let's talk a little bit of DQ. Now, Christine, what is your connection to Dairy Queen? Why was this one of the ones, one of the chains you wanted to talk about? It's one of the only ones that I went to as a kid.

Right. And, uh, whenever we would go, I don't, there wasn't one like in my neighborhood or anything in, uh, in Philadelphia, but, uh, we would, my, there was a pool near my grandparents' house. They lived outside of the city and we would go swimming at the pool and it was a special treat to go, to go to Dairy Queen after the pool. So I have a lot of like those memories of, you know how when you're like sunburned and your eyes are burned from being in a pool and you're so exhausted.

Um, and then like my mom or dad would like be like, and we're going to Dairy Queen and it was just always a pleasant experience. It's such a post pool treat, I remember. I would, we wouldn't go to Dairy Queen, but we would go to like the Foster's Frees or the, we'd go, there was a McDonald's in the public park where we'd go swimming in Boulevard Park and they had, it was like a mini McDonald's that just had, uh, a handful of things like fries and ice cream and we would get like a little ice cream cone from there.

But yeah, that is a, I wonder what that association is exactly. I guess just summertime, right? Probably. Yeah, summertime. How comes the racer would suggest that? Where do you, you were swimming in a public park, did you say with your family? Yeah, we go to, we go to Simon Boulevard Park in Lake Fountains. Oh, okay.

You went swimming in the fountains. Did I say fountain? No. No, I don't swim in a fountain. Where do you swim? Where do I swim now? What pools allow you? Yeah.

I swim in the Santa Monica Aquatic Center, which is a lovely public, a public pool. It's a very, very nice facility. People can go and watch you swim, I guess, now if you're announcing this. I guess. I don't know why anyone would want to do that, but no, they have a lap pool. They have a splash pool. It's a great time. They have a splash pool?

Yeah. They have a splash pool. It's not as deep as the lap pool and it's for, you can swim laps there if lanes are open. So you do like 50 minutes in the splash pool and then you do a couple laps or what's the deal? The splash pool is for kids to splash around and it's not as deep so they're not going to drown.

Yeah, I'm not changing what I said. I still believe that you go in the splash pool. I just hop in there and splash around like a fucking maniac and then do my workout. No, Mitch, that's not what I do when I go to the pool. I generally go to the lap pool. I usually do some laps with a kick board and then I switch up to just working arms for a little bit and then I do some freestyle and sometimes I'll mix in a little backstroke or breaststroke.

Oh, good for you. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, a regular Michael Phelps going up the pool. It's great. If you guys are just joining for whatever reason, because I know people just joined podcast and midstream, we are now changing our format to pool boys. We're just going to be discussing public pools and breaking them up.

What's a good, because you got me thinking about pool treats. Right. Because I didn't have a pool growing up. Hot eats pool treats. Hot eats pool treats. Pool treats is a great hashtag for what you would eat at a pool. Because I always remember getting watermelon at a pool. That would be watermelon was like a big pool treat, right?

It may be some lemonade. Yeah. And then, yeah, I guess like ice cream or something later on in the day. It's like a summer thing. But what are some good pool treats? I think a lot of times people associate it now with like, you know, alcohol. Like some tropical drinks. Yes, we've grown up, yeah.

Yeah. But like, yeah, when you were a kid, beyond watermelon, was anything else people remember from your pool days in the summertime? French fries. Yeah, French fries. Hot dogs. Absolutely. That works.

Otter pops. Sure. Sure. All that kind of, what was that? Bad nachos. Bad nachos. I feel like there is something to like chips getting soggy because you're like, you're just getting out.

Oh, sure. You're eating soggy chips. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Soggy's are gross. Well, we're never going to have them. That's not what I told Corrine. Don't make these promises there.

She probably thinks it's real. I talked to your girlfriend. That's what she'll say. She's Irish Catholic. I can't believe she said, Chewy, we're home. This confused old woman has no idea what that means. You made her say Chewy is home. Chewy, we're home.

She has no idea what that means. She said that, but then she was like, you know, I think that the Force Awakens was pretty great. And then she went with her. I was with her. I was one of the four times I saw in theaters and my mom. You must have hated that movie. You saw four times.

I did. I disliked the Force Awakens, but my mom fell asleep during Force Awakens, which I was proud of. I was happy. This is a shitty movie. You should fall asleep to it. Nagle, do you fall asleep in movie theaters? I rarely do that.

No, no, I can't. Even if I hate the movie, I feel so weird leaving. I couldn't walk out of a movie theater. I've never walked out of a movie my entire life. I haven't either, but I have fallen asleep. I fell asleep during Chicago. This is the last time I remember falling asleep. And then I re-saw it with my wife, and then I re-saw it with her because she got upset

that I fell asleep for most of it. You were guilted into seeing the rest of it? No, she didn't guilt me into it. I was just like, oh, well, we should see it again, because she was a little upset. Oh, really? Unifiably. I remember, I have a memory of, a sense memory of the first, I think it was the first time I went to a movie theater.

I think it was the Care Bears movie. And very distinct memory, a lady sat on me. That's crazy. Like, she was just, I was a kid, and I was sitting, and I guess I was making myself real small so she could get through the aisle, or down the aisle, and she just thought that the seat was empty and sat on me. For the entire movie? Oh, no.

Oh, my God. She was apologetic, but I was like, the only part of the story I'm going to remember is the part where you sat on me, and then the Care Bears there, and all that stuff. I saw this movie a couple years ago, this Errol Morris documentary, Tabloid. Anyone seen Tabloid? Tabloid's real good. I saw it in the theater at the landmark, which is a kind of art house theater in West L.A. When Mark Cuban owns it.

And we finished Tabloid, and the lights come up during the credits. And this old man a few rows in front of me stands up, and as he stands, just rips like the loudest fart I've ever heard in my life. Just like the loudest, most echoey fart, so loud that his wife is next to him and gasps. She goes like, oh, like, like he's just been shot. Just like shocked by what's happened. And the guy, like super mad, goes, well, they just make you sit for so long. Like it's the movie's fault?

Hollywood producers make you sit there for two hours. Sick fucks. Sick studio fucks. Well, that gas builds up, and then you just have to cut one. Fuck. They know what they're doing. They do. They do.

So what, okay, so Dairy Queen, this was a place you went to as a kid. Was this your most recent visit? I know you went to the Huntington Beach location. We talked about this a little bit. Was this a, what had been the gap in time before you'd been to Dairy Queen Pryor? I feel like I was there a couple years ago when I was visiting home. My parents now live outside of the city in Philly. It's kind of a special, dumb special place I'd like to go with my mom because I love her very much.

So dumb. But yeah, I think I, pretty recently, and just kind of, when I'm there, it kind of functions as just a, just ice cream, which is great. And like a nice connection or just a nice place for memories. Boring. No, that was very sweet. Oh, it's very sincere. Has anything so boring ever been said at the Sophie Tell in Beverly Hills? Thank you, by the way.

I feel like you guys found out where this festival's going to be. And then you were like, who's the most, who would fit the best at this fancy Hollywood or Beverly Hills hotel? Right. Oh, Nangle, the girl who said, I don't know, my review of Olive Garden is, everyone worked really hard. So it was great. Thank you for bringing me here. Well, I thought that was very sweet when you said about your mom. I just want to be clear that I also love my mommy.

And I think that I was a little hard on her. Well, yeah, you did. Your move, Weiger. You called her a fucking bitch. It was pretty far. She shouldn't have said that shit about Force Weiger. Nick. I will happily.

I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. I love my mom very much. Kerry Weiger. You're poser. I'm not a poser. We said we loved our moms and then you said you loved your mom. She's a very sweet lady. She worked as a nurse for many years, now retired.

Has done a lot of good for people, helped a lot of people out. Didn't you say your mom got into nursing because of the money? Yeah. You told me this one time. You said your mom got into nursing because of the money. Right. You know that nurses union. They're all about the, the Benjamins.

My mom used to work the graveyard shift and she was taking a, she would like sleep during the day and this, this shitty kid who lived next door, me and my brother were hanging out with and we told this shitty kid, Matt that. Why was he shitty? Why was he shitty? He was just like a little asshole.

You know those kids are just like, they're just like little assholes. He's just one of those. And. Koalic? Yeah. It was Matt Koalic. No.

And we were telling him like, we were like, oh, our mom's actually asleep right now because she works during the night. And he was like, yeah, right. We were like, no, she was, she's asleep. And so he like, yet like started yelling really loud. And then we went into check.

Like we got, we were like, what were you doing that for? They went to check on my mom and my mom had like woken up because he was yelling. And then we went out. Jesus. Yeah, I know. And then we went out there and like we're mad at this kid. Like, and so I decided.

Does this end with you guys like stomping the shit out? We American history X that piece of shit. No, but, but I got so mad and I was like, I think I was seven years old. So like I knew what insults were, but I didn't know how to formulate them. So we went out to yell at Matt and the insult I used on this kid, he was my brother's age,

my brother's five years older than me. So he was like 12. I was seven. And the insult I used on him was like, you're dicks as big as a skateboard. And my brother laughed. And I thought it was because it was like a fucking awesome slam, which maybe it was because that would be very cumbersome and unwieldy.

Let's talk about Dairy Queen. Um, so. Yes. What? Like what? Let's get into our most recent visits. Um, I went to Mitch. You and I both had some, some various oddities,

but Nagle will start with you. Your, your visit to the Huntington Beach location, what did you get and what was your experience? Uh, yes, I went to the Huntington Beach location, which is nowhere near I live, but there's a dog beach there. Um, it's great that you just, I was there a couple of years ago by accident

and there was a bunch of dogs. And I said to the person I was with, what is this dog beach? And then there's a sign that said, welcome to dog beach. That's 100% true. And then I got a dog. The person was a person like, yes, look at the sign.

Or did, whether they react or what? The person was like, you're so funny and charming. This is great. Um, no, we didn't see it until like a couple minutes later, but, um, then I got a dog and so now we go there like, we've been going every weekend and so. Dog beach sounds like a Disney movie.

It's great. It's so fun. And my dog loves it. My dog Philby loves the beach. Um, so is it just like a beating like dog's shit in the sand is pretty much the, the big difference between the regular beach.

Um, is that the dogs can run around in the sand. Also, there's an ocean. That's not different from a regular beach. I thought you said from regular park. Well, no, the dogs are like allowed to be there and allowed to be off leash. All right.

But, um, it's actually pretty clean. Like I, everyone's there and they look after their dog. So, um, I don't think it's weird. I don't think it's weird. I don't think it's weird. I don't think it's weird. They're going to make a cat beach. Why did you punch me in the shoulder when you said that?

He, he leaned over to Nick and said, they got to make a cat beach. I gave him a low punch. Um, but anyway, I kind of became, it was kind of, it felt like I was passing Dairy Queen onto the next generation. Uh, because I don't have kids and who knows, you know, but anyway,

I took him, it was a morning and we went to Dairy Queen and it was like 1130. I was listening to your, um, your Baskin Robbins episode, which was great. Has anyone listened to their Baskin Robbins episode? Thank you. It was so great. It was more ice cream and then, uh, who was it?

Dave. Dave King. Dave King. He said everything I probably would have said just way more eloquently and with less of a dumb accent. Um, but he, but, uh, we went early. Uh, I went early. The lady was so nice and, um,

was it, was this, was this like a sit down Dairy Queen? What was the deal with it? There was some tables in there. Okay. Um, yeah. Cause real quick. So the Dairy Queen is, it's got a bunch of different to what we would call in the

video game industry skews, like different, uh, different varieties of restaurants. So they've got the treat center and then they've got the brazier or brazier or brazier. It's unclear how to exactly to pronounce it. There's some dispute. I've read brazier is the most close to accurate, but I think a lot of people say brazier location.

And they've also got the grill and chill. And they all have different. Yeah. Grill and chill. All right. They've got also like the brazier. Does anyone know how to say, is it like, is it like, right?

It's like Frazier, but it's like brazier, like Frazier, but like Frazier. Yeah. Right. Cool. Um, so, uh, but they've got only different varieties. They've all got different aspects of the menu. Do you know which one you were at?

We had a limited brazier. Was it a grill and chill? Uh, Jesus. It felt like they had everything that they have to offer. Right. So I think that's the great. I think that's how they're rebranding the new ones is the grill and chill.

There's also, I think, like a Texas roadhouse, which is just, don't even worry about that one. Um, you know so much, but it seems like you don't know anything at all. Right. I'm so confused. So what, what, what, what the hell did we go to? Yeah.

So the one we went to is, and this is, we are going to be raked over the coals for this one because we went to the only location that was open in the, within the rough LA city limits was, was the Culver city one at the Fox Hills mall, the Westfield center there, and they are only a treat center. So they don't have hot food. You can't get the full menu there.

Now I've been to, I've had the hot food from Dairy Queen. There were some full ones in Long Beach. I've had that a number of times in my life, but I wanted to get a full assessment, but unfortunately we just weren't able to do that, wrangle us this time. So, um, but Nagle, you did get some hot food. I did.

I did. I got the soft pretzels. Um, and it was so funny. They were hot. Um, they also, I will say they had a, um, they had a, they have a Philly cheesesteak there. And I don't, as for the past year, a little over a year, I haven't eaten meat.

And I stared at that sign for so long. Two people went ahead and me and I was like, okay, am I a good person or just, do I just want people to think I'm a good person? And how much do I care about dough boys? And I really thought about eating that cheesesteak just for this. Man, that's coming back in style. Not eating meat for a year and then a Dairy Queen Philly cheesesteak.

Yeah. Well, it was on Goop. I saw it on Goop, on Gwyneth Paltrow's thing. Uh, no, but I didn't, that was a cool story. I didn't. Um, but, uh, yeah. So I got that and then I, I got a, just a regular vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles.

I would call them Jimmies if they were chocolate. Right. I would talk about this, but y'all already talked about it on Baskin Robbins. It doesn't matter. That's a Philadelphia thing too though. It's, it's, I guess it's a Northeastern thing. Okay.

Um, but, uh- You try to make it into some racist shit. No, but- I debunked the racist aspect of it. It's been debunked. On Snoop says it's not, it's probably not racist. I tend to think, I tend to not hear it when white people are like, it's not racist.

I'm just like, I'm just going to go with maybe it is. So I, uh, so now I just say sprinkles, but I do remember one time when, when, um, when I was a kid, my, uh, my, I lived on this block and my mom, there was a family, the Lindley family, and my mom was best friends with Mrs. Lindley and my dad was best friends with Mr. Lindley and they had kids all over age and we all had like best friends. It's adorable.

And Mr. Lindley's job moved to North Carolina from Philly. It was like some manufacturing job. And so they all moved to North Carolina. It was the hardest thing. It was so sad. So we went down to visit them. We went to a Dairy Queen when we were visiting them.

We ordered a ton because there was nine kids between us, a ton of ice cream with Jimmy's and just like, this with Jimmy's, this with Jimmy's, this with Jimmy's. And the lady just listened and then she was like, y'all ain't from here, are you? And like we couldn't figure out what the thing was that she didn't understand. And then, uh, and then I also was like,

well, I guess I should get blizzards also because I want to like know what the deal is. So I got the pumpkin pie mini blizzard, which is there. I heard, ugh. You made someone sick. Someone just threw up. Someone said, ugh. It was a Native American.

And then, uh, and I also got a, which I thought was like a new thing I haven't had and it's like a new thing they're trying and that I got a mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cup one, which is the thing that I always used to get. And I was like, oh, I'll eat those later. But anyway, uh, yeah, do you want me to talk about how I felt about it?

Of course. Okay. Um, first of all, the lady was so sweet. I was like, how do you work here and not eat all this stuff? It's so delicious looking. And she, what do you usually like? And she, and very Brooklyn English told me that whatever the first customer of the day orders

is the thing that she thinks about all day. And then Nick maybe gets, it was really, it was really sweet. But, um, it was awesome. The soft pretzels tasted like a really, really good version of something you would get at a movie theater. Right. Um, and it came with a cheese sauce that was like

a white creamy cheese sauce that had a kick at the end. It was like some sort of jalapeno thing. So I had a couple of those. And then I liked the ice cream comb, like a little kid and I was swinging my feet on the bench. Uh, cause I was so happy. I was so happy. Um, and I gave some-

Was it a very high bench? Uh, my legs are very short. Um, and, uh, it was great. It was, it was totally what I was expecting and as good as I remember it and especially good cause I think I like still had like salt water and sand in my mouth. So it made it even like somehow better.

Wait, what were you doing at the beach? You're not just supposed to drink ocean water. It was a fair question. It was a fair question. Um, anyway, I, uh, I was just like in the water a little bit. I don't know. I probably had sand on my hair.

Um, and- Was it cold water or what? The water was okay. The water out here is very cold, I think. Uh, sorry to go in a little tangent here. This is a tangent free, uh, podcast, right? Pacific ocean water, too cold. No, thank you.

Atlantic ocean, not bad. Are you such a fucking Boston bias piece of shit? This guy fucking knows what I'm talking about. You are arguing the validity of the Atlantic ocean over the Pacific ocean. You were saying the ocean- You can have your fucking Fukushima fucking diseased ocean. I don't fucking want it.

It sucks. Guys, that podcast is next door. The podcast where they debate oceans. You know I'm right. The way that the currents work, it comes down- You don't know I'm right. It comes down from the north on the Atlantic ocean. It comes up from the south.

We get warmer water. It's warmer in the Atlantic ocean. You're wrong, you dumb fuck. Look, I'm not going to try to cite statistics about the temperature of various oceans because I honestly don't know. You could be right. I'm just saying the Pacific ocean- I might be wrong, actually.

Yeah, why would I think you'd know something about science? Someone's speaking up. What's going on? Hey, no phones. Put your phones away. There was a- No, the Pacific Ocean is lovely. You got Hawaii, you got the beaches of Southern California. Hawaii doesn't count though.

It's in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Doesn't count. It's literally in the middle of the ocean. It's far away. It's a little island. It's all ocean down there. You know what I mean? It all mixes together.

Moving on. Whatever you and I think, one thing we're going to agree on, fuck the Indian Ocean. Yeah. Yeah. Have we ever high-fived before? They just high-fived. They just tried to high-five the listening audience.

They tried so hard to high-five and it didn't work. It felt like a high-five to cobweb. Mitch, you and I both ended up at the Culver City Dairy Queen, the treat center. That's right. Oh, yeah. So you had a little bit of- It's called the treat center.

They call it the treat center. Okay, fine. That's their marketing. I'm not offering an opinion on one way or the other, but that's their marketing. I went this morning. I went at 10 a.m. So we had a couple issues with the dairy queens.

One is that the closest one that I could find that actually had a full menu was down in Cerritos, California, which is about a 45-minute drive. So it was just a little out of our reach considering that we were both working this week. But I went to the Culver City location and we tried to go last night and Yelp said they closed at 10. They actually closed at 9.

So I had to go this morning and I went there right as they opened. It's in the mall to the bottom floor. And I went up there and the one lady working says, sorry, the ice cream machine's not working. Yeah, someone didn't set it up right. So I waited there literally for 30 minutes for her to get the ice cream up and running while I had to get to work.

So I was late for work because I was waiting for a dairy queen that I was going to have at 10.30 in the morning. So she thought you were an insane person. Yeah, she did. Okay. Well, there was one other sad man also hovering. It was just the two of us. Was it Mish?

Yeah. But the... I came a little later than that. Yeah, she was just screaming. Like for a while she was just screaming at this machine, screaming at first in Spanish and later that some very just vicious profanities in English at it. But eventually she got it working.

She was very nice. She was very apologetic. I got the strawberry cheesecake blizzard. Wait, did this machine respond to the yelling? Yeah. Yes. I got the strawberry cheesecake blizzard, which apparently a little bit of trivia

invented at the Santa Monica location, which is now closed, but the Santa Monica location also where I saw Don Cheadle once. Oh. I was waiting in line behind Don Cheadle at the ATM and he got some money out. Was he in his war machine costume?

Yeah. This was pre-war machine. This was probably Crash era Don Cheadle. Right. Coming hot off of Crash. Wow. Okay. Oscar nominated.

Oscar winning? Yeah, winning. Oh, Cheadle did. Yo, how much money did he get out of that ATM? I didn't see how much money Don Cheadle withdrew. But I did know that we both had the same path of like we waited for the ATM and then we went up to Dairy Queen

so we could get some Dairy Queen. Oh. I didn't talk to them. But anyway, they invented the strawberry cheesecake blizzard there. Very, very good. You know, I love the showmanship when they flip that blizzard upside down.

Yeah. What a nice bit of flair that is. It's like Tom Cruise and Cocktail. That's great. On the blizzard cup, the blizzard is written upside down. Right. Because it's like the true position of blizzard

is upside down. Yeah. I didn't like it. It took me off guard when she did it to me. I was like, hey, what are you doing? You're going to lose the blizzard. For those of you who don't know that when they hand you a blizzard, they have to turn it upside down first

to show you how thick it is and then hand it to you. And Mitch was a little baffled because he actually doesn't have object permanence. Yes, he does. He knew that cat would be there when he went back. Right, that's true. That's true. And you saved that cat.

I did. I saved a cat. Blizzards are gone. I just had to make up for the frozen cat that had died. No, I wasn't the one I meant. Oh, yeah. No, I'm saying I had to make up for that by saving a cat at some point.

That cat was as frozen as the blizzard. Go on, what about the blizzard? I really do love the blizzard. I think that's just an A plus fast food dessert. It's really, really good. All the different mixings you can get. I'm normally someone who would get chocolate or candy, and I think those work really well,

but the strawberry cheesecake was very good. The chunks of cheesecake were delicious, and the strawberries were really, really yummy with the strawberry ice cream. It was great. I got to say this. I think that the blizzard is a dare to see how much you like something

because I got a cookie dough blizzard, and I love cookie dough. And then eating it, I was like, there's too much fucking cookie dough. Really? They put too much of that. They put too much stuff in it. I know that's the thing of the blizzard.

It's just, I want more ice cream. Don't you crap. It's too much. You need more ice cream in there. It's just like eating candy. Oh, my God. This is the worst I've got in there. There was like a hubbub here,

like a scene from when they were in Congress in Lincoln. Like everyone was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Has anyone ever tried, I tried this. My brother and I tried this where we got, we had like, I don't remember what kind of ice cream it was, but it was like a gallon of ice cream, and we took out all of the pieces of cookie dough, and we tried to cook it in the microwave.

Oh, my God. Did anyone ever try that? Did it work? What happened? Your house burned. That's how we lost my brother. No, it just kind of made like a weird, it wasn't good.

We ate it. That's all. I thought there's like a call and response, like someone else was like, I did that, and I'm like, that's great. Is that the consensus though, that they're too aggressive with the mix-ins of the blizzard? People don't feel that way.

Okay, yes. People were mad at me, but someone out there did agree with me. Too much cookie dough. Too much cookie dough. It was too much. Maybe it's specific to the cookie dough blizzard. Maybe it's specific to the cookie dough.

Because I haven't had the experience. I usually go Butterfinger blizzard. Butterfinger blizzard is good. Those are quite good. Quite good. Well, let me say, so I got the thing that I ate when I was there, I ate the pretzels.

I sat there, like I just ate, and it was just so weird. And my dog was sitting on the other side, watching me through the window, and I ate a couple of the pretzels, and then I ate some of the ice cream. You were talking. I gave him some of the ice cream later,

but then I had the blizzards in the bag, and I was like, I'll just take those home and freeze them. It's an hour-long drive. And I was full on driving with my knees and eating both of those blizzards on the way home. There was nothing left by the time I got home. But the pumpkin pie blizzard was really interesting.

It was a cool thing for them to try. Like, the pumpkin flavor was a little bit like, you know, when you get like a pumpkin spice latte or something, and to me, the pumpkin, whatever the pumpkin flavoring is, has a little bit of an alcohol taste to it. And what's that?

Oh, I thought someone was explaining it to me. Sorry. And then it also has pieces of crust and then like some whipped cream in there somehow. Pie crust. Pie crust. Pizza crust. There's pizza crust.

Stuffed pizza crust with mozzarella cheese. And I thought that it was really like an interesting, it doesn't feel like a classic, but I was like, this is a cool, you know, seasonal thing. And then actually the Reese's peanut butter cup one was, sorry, but it was the one that was disappointing. Oh, boy. But I think it's because just the plain ice cream cone

with the rainbow sprinkles on it was just so classic and clean and it looks beautiful and like the lines are so perfect. And I was just so happy with it. Also, by that point, I'd been driving for like an hour. Well, for me, Nick knows this. Around 3.30, I went to the Burbank. What was it? What is that place?

The Burbank Mall? The Burbank Town Center. I think that's what it's called. Burbank Town Center, which is a mall. And I went up there and it was a Dairy Queen, Orange Julius. Right. And it was fucking closed.

And it was, there was just a gate there online. I didn't say it was closed. There was no explanation. It was just closed. So I literally had to drive from there down to this Century City Dairy Queen. And then here, I haven't been home. It ruined my fucking day.

It was awful. I was, I drove for like three hours. Yeah. I've just been driving for three hours. You basically drove to Vegas to get this. I basically drove to Vegas to eat at this, what is it called, sweet treat counter? It's the Treat Center.

The Treat Center. The TQ Treat Center. I drove three hours to get to this fucking treat center. And I got, I did get food. I got the, the, the bacon cheese dog, which yeah. So I ordered, like the lady was like, like first of all, I was like, I can get like the nachos. I got the full nachos.

And then I was like, I'll get the bacon cheese dog. And, and I'll also get the cookie dough blizzard. And I've never been more embarrassed in my life. Like the lady was looking at me like I was, she was like, you're really getting, like she was looking at me like, you're really going to get all those things. And I want to be like, it's for a podcast. Like I wanted to say that at one point.

I never said it. And then, Which wouldn't have helped. She'd have been like, what's a podcast? And so I got all these things. And then as you know, there's no, it's not at a food court. This one is just kind of like in the middle of the mall. And so I just had to like sit down at this table.

That's kind of in the middle of the mall. Like right next to like a cell phone kiosk. It's next to a cell phone kiosk in a Disney store. And then they were all just like teens looking at me, being like, just eating this food. Were you talking to all those teens? It's for a podcast. It's for a suicide podcast.

It's for a suicide podcast. Look away teens. Did you eat the whole thing? I ate the whole hot dog. I was starving. I had not, I had not eaten anything that day. So I ate the entire bacon cheese hot dog. Did a man just fill your water glass?

I don't, I ended up with a second water, but I didn't see it happen. It was like a magic trick. I could sense that you were very scared or something was going on. They probably just gave you a new water. Right. So I got this bacon cheese dog.

And it just felt like they didn't want to give me any of the food. It felt like they really did not want to make the food or give it to me. And I got it. And the hot dog was okay. It had been sitting around for a while. And then they put in kind of like weird kind of crumbled like bacon bits, I guess.

And they just put it in like kind of a heater and it melts all together and there was mustard on there. And it was not great. And then the nachos were the chili was like the most vile. I took a picture of it like darkest chili I'd ever seen. It was fucking awful. And then there were olives on it. And that was very weird.

Like black olives? Black olives. And then jalapeno, jalapeno like pepper slices. And then cheese. And they have the chili. And then she was like, you want sour cream? And I was like, yeah. And so she took, I saw her get out a thing of sour cream

and was like looking around in the sour cream. And then she took out this fork that had sour cream on it and she just put the fork on top of my nachos. Like the fork and everything. She just put a fork. I was like, what the fuck is this? It was just like a fork. And inside the fork there was sour cream.

And then she wrapped it up and gave it to me. Did she turn the over before she handed it to you? I wish she, she got an applause break. I wish she had turned it over because those were, they were really, really, really, they were awful. They were really bad. They tasted bad too. They tasted bad.

The chili was worse than the 7-Eleven chili. Wow. But then, it's the truth. But then the cheese and the chips were actually better than the 7-Eleven nachos. And I don't know, I like jalapenos, but the black olives were kind of like a weird choice. Yeah, but the chili was legit really bad.

The hot dog was okay. It was lower end, but not great. I think like, the reason I didn't get hot food from there is because the limited hot food, yeah. It was 10 a.m. Because you procrastinated and you couldn't. The limited hot food menu that they had there did not resemble the dairy queen menu I was familiar with.

And it was a different signage that was like on the side. And it said local favorites. Like it was just like, everything about it was just like, it was like someone was running like a side food business that also occupied this dairy queen. That's what I fucking, why don't you give me a fucking heads up on this shit? Wait, I thought you said Weiger that they didn't have hot food.

No, they had like, I didn't think they had dairy queen hot food. I thought it was like their Orange Julius hot food or something that this individual franchise had decided to do on their own. But it didn't feel like, like this isn't the menu I'm familiar with at all. Should I just eat some random man's hot dog? I mean, I guess, but you know what,

I think it's fair to criticize the chain for that because clearly by having all these different versions of it and by having a limited menu that they presented different ones, but calling them all dairy queen is the same situation we ran in with the by big Laurie steak and shake, where you have like these different versions that aren't all replicating the same experience and the ideal ideal of a chain is that you have

a universal experience at any given location. That's fair. I also, I told Nick this the entire time I was there, I was just craving an Orange Julius really bad. Yeah, cause they all have Orange Juliuses too. Every dairy queen does. And I wanted an Orange Julius. I just found, I told, on Wednesday, September 14th,

I said, I choo choo choo's dairy queen. You said cool pic, emoji with sunglasses. I said, hot eats. No, I've never texted you in my life. And I'm just letting you know you've had since Wednesday, September 14th to get some yourself into a different dairy queen. They're so fucking far away.

We were both lax on this, but Mitch and I both could have been born on the ball and gotten to it. I just don't want dairy queen to suffer for this reason. I agree. I think that's fair. We're going to get to our final thoughts. One thing I want to bring up real quick. Are you guys familiar with the Twitter account

of Senator Chuck Grassley, Senator from Iowa? Yeah. Very strange, very, very strange guy. He tweets in this kind of like pigeon English that's like, it looks like a 14-year-old girl who doesn't have thumbs. Does he not, he doesn't have thumbs? No, but I mean, that's like the way that it's tweeted.

It's tweeted so incoherently. It's got all these misspellings and abbreviations. But Chuck Grassley has tweeted twice about dairy queen very cryptically and famously. Once it happened on November 3rd, 2014, this is the tweet I'll read at verbatim, Windsor Heights Dairy Queen is good place for you know what? He's not lying.

It's right there, yeah. Six thousand and forty retweets. He's a sitting U.S. senator. He's the senior senator from Iowa. So like it's good for, that just means like fuck it. He goes there and fucks or something. I guess. There was a, he's never clarified what he meant.

One year, nearly one year later, October 16th, 2015, he tweeted a follow-up. I'm at the Jefferson, Iowa Dairy Queen doing you know what in quotes. With three exclamation points. With three exclamation points. Jesus Christ. I love the idea of him like tweeting as he's fucking.

Eating on a blizzard and fucking and tweeting at the same time. Also, one of my favorite things under that is right under the tweet, Don Cheadle sighting is written in Nick's notes. I wonder, remind myself to reference that. It was good. Alright. Never touch my screen again.

Let's get to our final thoughts. Nagle, you've been on the podcast before. You know how this works. Give your closing argument and get your score on the order of one to five forks. We will start with you. This is moving quickly. We've got 90 minutes.

90 minutes. Okay. So Dairy Queen, it was the establishment was clean and bright. The lady was super nice. The food was delicious. And I highly recommend it to everyone. I introduced a friend of mine who's never had it before to it this week. And I actually have a drop that I want to play

before I give my fork rating. Are you sure you don't want to use the ox cord? I feel like someone should use this ox cord. Whoever's in charge, can we give him this ox cord to take home with him? It would make him the happiest boy. Alright. Here's my drop before I give my fork rating. You know I'm not allowed to listen to it.

Could you know that? Oh my god. I'm playing more tired. You know I'm not allowed to listen to it. Could you know that? That's my mom saying she's not allowed to listen to the podcast. Which is true. So my, and this is again, this is without like the hot dogs or the hamburgers

and we didn't talk about the Atlantic Ocean or the Pacific Ocean or anything like that. But I give it a hundred forks. You can't give it a hundred forks. I gave it a hundred forks. Jesus Christ. No I gave it, I gave it, what's the highest? Five forks. A hundred forks.

I feel like it's gonna, I give it five forks. Five forks. Five forks. Very good score. Five forks. Go ahead Mitch. I think next minute. Oh no, now I feel bad because I feel like I'm about to spoil everything.

How you feel doesn't affect how I feel. That's true. All right good. Dairy Queen sucks. No, the Blizzard is a great treat. Fantastic. They do a good job with it. There's too much in the, at least, at least in the, in the, I need a friend here.

One person agrees with me. At least in the cookie dough Blizzard. There's too much of it. But I feel like I get it, it's hard for me to rate, we need to go back and sit down. Yeah. This is like a big lorry situation except better because Susser isn't here. It's someone that we like. But for me, the food was not great.

The Blizzard, if I was basing it off the Blizzard alone, I'd say that's a three and a half fork restaurant for me right now. I think, I'm saying like, the Blizzard is a great treat, but is it my favorite? I come from, Boston area had Brigham's and we had Friendly's and there's a lot of places. Dairy Queen. Hi Friendly's. Dairy Queen, like, it's not like a thing where I'm like, oh, it's the, it's the best. I like it a lot. But, but right now, after my experience today, which I was angry about 90% of the time driving around the city and texting you and being like, this fucking sucks.

We should end the podcast. Right now, I got to give it a three and a half forks, but maybe with one of those little pizza things that keeps the box open because you know what I'm talking about? You mean work, you mean serving as an asterisk? Is that what you're saying? What are those little pizza tables that keep? We used to use them as, we used to use them as Barbie tables after we got pizza. Did you guys do that? That's adorable.

There are a lot of support for that. I got to give it a little, I got to give it a little Barbie table. Three and a half, three and a half forks with a Barbie table because I can't, I don't think it's fair for either of us to, to judge on that kind of shitty spot. Yeah. I mean, I've had, I've had DQ's hot food in the past and I actually enjoy quite a bit. I enjoy their burgers. I enjoy their fries. It was a thing we, I would get as a kid.

We would go on Long Beach. They'd have the full locations. Then at some point they decided to just sort of like divide it up into all these different variations on the DQ theme. And I think it confused the brand. It's confusing. It is. And I think you have to, you know, again, I made this point earlier, but I think you have to weigh that when evaluating it. The other thing I think I have to weigh is that, you know, I'm an ice cream super fan.

Ice cream is maybe my favorite food. I love ice cream. I love a, I love a cold, sweet treat. I also got the small chocolate dip cone when I went there. And it's, it's a really good, you know, they get a great chocolate dip on that. They get a really good magic shell on it. And the, the ice cream is very nice. Go ahead.

I got chocolate sauce in my blizzard, which I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. You asked for it to be added? She was like, you want chocolate sauce in the blizzard? I said, yes. Is that bad? Oh, shit. Really? We got to do this again.

You got to use that Barbie table to keep the door open to bring me back. All right. I said Barbie Barbie table. Go for it. Go for it. Finish up. But here's the other thing I will say. Soft serve will always be inferior to traditional ice cream.

Oh my God. Is this your family? What the fuck is this? My family would never support something I did. They're ashamed of me. No, uh, the, the, the whole company is built around soft serve and that works great for the blizzard, but it's just, you know, that's their one, they're kind of a one trick pony in that regard and all their frozen sweet treats.

I would really appreciate it. I would rather have just a scoop of ice cream or, or just something just with like a little bit more of that traditional ice cream texture and consistency versus soft serve. However, Dairy Queen is still great. It's still iconic. It still deserves its place in the hierarchy of American fast food. I'm going to say, yes, we'll, we'll visit a real location, give it another evaluation, but my rating based on past experiences and this experience is four out of five.

So it's in a very respectable spot. I have to say, I always get scared whenever you're ramping up to give your rating. I get scared. Like anytime I'm listening, does anyone else feel like this? I feel like it's like when dad gets mad about something, even if you love something, I'm like, oh, not why you're so upset. Look, the truth can be frightening to people. All right.

That was our discussion of Dairy Queen. We've got a, we've got a regular segment we're going to get into right now. We've got a food stuff. We're going to decide if it's worth putting in your mouth. It's snack or whack. And to introduce, yeah, a little smattering of applause. We appreciate that. Sure.

To introduce this segment to bring up our snack, we've got a special drop in guest. He's a writer and executive producer from the Simpsons. You may remember him from our Buffalo Wild Wings episode. He wanted to be introduced as a self-described Doughboy Super fan. Give it up for Matt Selman. Selman walking across the table. High five in everyone. He's got a Gelson's bag with snacks and snacks in it.

Selman, how are you doing over there? Great. Great. I was just at the ocean. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, how are you? Great.

You too. Hi. I was just at the ocean podcast next door. Oh, boys. Oh, boys. Right? Oh, that's good. Well played.

The callback is the staple of podcast humor. So you got to always be looking and bring it back. Which one? Oh, uh, what are the other? Henry, you improper. I got nothing on you. Yes. You're a New England guy.

Mitch and I have a special announcement later about that. That is true. Do you guys want to do it right now? Because it's pretty exciting and it's coming right up, right? Yeah, it is coming right up. But also, I want to quickly say that she really does have Nangang stickers. They're great. I didn't think you were serious.

I'm serious, baby. Do we have stickers? We got to get our shit together. I ordered some on Teespring and they didn't deliver them to me. I printed these out on my home computer. This is great. Nangang. It is.

It's more popular. You should take over our podcast. No. I don't want to. Do it, boys. With niche and Mitch. That was a good one. So many.

You've got an announcement that involves Mitch. That's true. I do. I mean, some people know about this already, but I think it's pretty exciting and it's pretty great for Mitch. So go ahead and lay it on, everybody. Well, I mean, I have a Simpsons episode I produced that's coming up October 9th. I'm very excited about it.

It is a kind of a travelogue episode. You know, Simpsons have gone to Australia. They've gone to Japan. A lot of countries. Now we have one where they go to Boston. And like, what comedic Bostonian mass hole would be a better voice actor for that show than our friend, Mike Mitchell? It was very, it was very, it was very, it was very, it was a dream come true.

It was very, very nice. He's really funny. He says one of my favorite Bostonian catchphrases. I'm going to spoil it. How to even explain this best of bafflement. If you agree with, you're a certain kind of Southie towny, Mitch type guy and you agree with someone like you would say, this podcast, I can't, I hate this podcast. Fuck.

I'm having a terrible time. No, no, that was right. I hate this podcast. I hate this podcast. I hate this podcast. To agree, you would say, so don't I. So don't I. Not so do I, like in English, you would say, so don't I in like a thick Irish Boston,

Kennedy mess, Quincy, Quincy disaster mouth. So he, we really wanted to give a lot of insider Boston references in the show and not just do like Wicked, Pissa, Lobster, all that shit. And so the, the so don't I is a very specific little bit of a lingua franca. And Mitch gets to utter and here's actually a little, we made a little poster, Mitch, we'll be putting out on the internet and stuff. Oh man, that's amazing. Oh, that's great.

We're looking at a poster on an iPhone in a room of a hundred people. Well, that's what everybody will post the later. Oh, you haven't seen it yet? I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it. No, that's great. Is there a Simpsonized Mitch in the episode? No, no.

Well, yes. I mean, there's a guy I play. He's not in the poster. That'd be crazy. Uh, Jack Allison, uh, sent a picture of King sized Homer and said, is that you? He's in fucking asshole. What if you had announced like that? I'd like if someone was like, Mitch is taking over Homer and everyone would be like, boom.

We also have in this show, uh, Doris Curran's Goodwin, famous. Wow. Professor and historian, uh, Bill Burr, Rachel Dratch. I think that's it. And me. And me. Mike Mitchell. Unless I got myself cut yesterday.

No, you did not. But I think in that episode, it's like in the beginning, the family files into the house and they all sit on Mitch. The fuck, Neng Gang. I was sorry. I was a part of your gang for a second. Just like your water, uh, little treats appeared in front of me. Yeah, someone, someone delivered some old treats.

What did this take up from? I don't know. I saw a gentleman walked up and deposited some treats in front of you. Uh, looks like some mini musketeers and some minis, some mini Snickers. Um, so, uh, yeah, I don't know what's going on. I don't know. Watch, watch the Simpsons. I know you're all here for the dough boys, but watch the Simpsons October 9th.

You want to see Mitch because animate. Is this your animation debut? It was, it was your voice acting debut. So cool. I think it is. Yes. My voice acting debut. View.

Yes. It's debut. That's really, really cool. It will be my last. And there's a, there's a Quincy reference in it. There's a Quincy right there. Big Quincy shout out. I don't want to spoil that.

Yeah. What is it? They call it the toilet of the Eastern Seaboard. No, it's, it's the city of presidents. It's the city of presidents because of John Adams. John Adams. John Quincy Adams. John Hancock was lived in Quincy.

Not a president. I know, but still I'm just saying it. Cool people dunking donuts. Howard Johnson's. Yeah. Yes. This guy knows what's up. Paul Revere.

I don't know. I'm lying now. Maybe Nangle could write a Philly episode for us someday. Yeah. Keep it. Every city's got its quirks. We want to make sure we get to the snacks. So what's the snack you got for us?

Well, I promote the thing that's already super famous. Doesn't need this. Here we go. All right. So he's passing over some Pringles cans and we can, we can, we can distro some of the, we don't all need our own Pringles can, I think. I think we can distro some of these. I'll take one.

If you want to sample these. Remember that one kid in, in school at recess, he was parents would give him a whole can for snack, for recess. And that kid was like own the schoolyard. I'm gonna step out and distribute some of these. On a touch parents or something. He could distribute his, you know. There you go.

His stack based on how popular you were with him that day. So what we, what we got here is Pringles. Pringles spicy, tangy buffalo wing flavored Pringles. But I feel like for this podcast we should call them Nangi Buffalo. Nangi Buffalo wing. Well we'll show them Nangles. Nangles. Nangles.

Nangles. Buffalo Nangs. With Nang sauce. Nang sauce. They actually, they don't have a bad smell to them. And in Spanish it'd be Cristina de Papa. They kind of smell, they smell a little bit like, like, like ranchy. They don't, they don't, they don't, they don't smell overly buffalo flavored, which is, could be a good thing.

We're, we're passing these around the audience. We have about a, it looks like, it seemed like about eight cans that he just sort of distributed it throughout. So take some, pass it along. Oh Christ. Yeah, they do smell really, really, they smell really harsh. They got a bite to them. I'm gonna take a bite. I think, I think the can smells good.

Everyone chew into the mic. Chew into the mic. I'm hearing a lot of ews from the audience. Like palpable disgust, it feels like, is the predominant reaction. Oh shit. Once the game here, we have to guess what pie this is. No. Nangie.

Let me have, pass some more this way, Mitch. Let me, let me have some more of these. Here's what I'm gonna say. I think I'm gonna get the audience bad when I say this. I got a bold statement to say here. Fuck Pringles. Pringles kind of aren't that good. I agree with you.

Pringles aren't that good. I'm sorry. I just, the aftertaste of Pringles, they're all the same. Like, I like the sour cream, maybe the best. Or the salt and vinegar, the best, but they just, every Pringle has that weird kind of mealy aftertaster. I don't know what it is. I'm not a big fan.

You know what it is? Yeah. They're hyper-processed. And there was a time in Pringles' marketing where they were like, oh, it's like the fresher, I'm holding up a Pringles right now as I'm talking. Sorry. It's like the fresher, healthier, less greasy chip. But then basically what it is, is it's like a bunch of potato meal

that gets compacted into a log and slicing these things, because this isn't like what an individual potato slice looks like. This is like more processed than Lay's. There's more processed than Raffles. It's like the most processed chip you can get. It tastes pre-chewed. Right. And then dried on like a sun porch.

A hot sun porch. That is true. As soon as it goes in your mouth, it tastes like it's been chewed. It's very strange. It's an instant mouth corner pocket. It runs for the corners of your mouth. Yeah. It just sort of dissolves on your tongue a little bit.

I will say that there's a nice, like there is definitely a buffalo flavor. Like whatever chemicals they're using to flavor this tastes very much like buffalo wings. I don't know. Am I alone on that? I feel like that's how I'm getting that flavor. There's a boneless wing on the cover here that's like in between two chips. You see that? Yeah.

That's boneless in there. Boneless wing, hot sauce. I don't think that's boneless. I think it's the kind with the two little bones. The flat. The non-drum map. There's a name for it. We're not going to get that kind of commentary on Oboys.

I can't even think of another Ocean's name. Ant Arctic Ocean. There's only Ocean. We said Indian Ocean. If you know all the Ocean's names, tweet at us. Hashtag Ocean Genius. All right. So what's the verdict on these Pringles?

We'll go down the line. You know, I'll start this one off. I mean. I feel like I'm about to get scared again. No, I'm not. Because you're about to get passionate. Yeah. He's sighing heavily.

It's going to be okay. We'll be good. I'm not getting particularly riled up with this. I agree with you. I think you're spot on. This is once you pop, the fun don't stop. Is that Pringles? Is that there?

I think so. Okay. Once you pop, the sodium don't stop. Not a Pringles fan. It's a pretty good execution of this flavor, I guess. But this isn't something I'd want to have on a regular basis. Why would anyone do this to themselves? If I wanted a spicy chip treat, give me some tortilla chips

and a nice hot salsa. I get that. Right? This is a whack for me. What about you, Mitch? Well, you know, the funny thing is that I think that they probably actually handled the buffalo flavor better than a lot of other chips. Yeah, it is well executed.

That being said, it also says potato crisps. It can't even say fucking chips on the goddamn label. Maybe they're affecting a British thing. Right. Oh, all right. That guy does look kind of British, the little Mr. Moustache. A packet of crisps. I think the Pringles guy is a fucking asshole.

I don't want to look at his like, if you knew that guy, a guy with like a center part and a little like turned up mustache who wore a bow tie all the time, you'd be like, what's his problem? That's not a guy you want to hang out with. That's a guy you want to avoid at the party. Yeah, I don't like the idea of this guy eating a bunch of, I feel like his mustache must get in the way constantly. Right.

Anyways, between Dairy Queen and this British fuck, I've had enough of a fucking Great Britain. Fuck Great Britain. USA, baby. Wait, is Pringles, is Pringles even British? Who gives a shit? Fuck Great Britain. Dairy Queen is also American.

Like that was my whole preamble, is that Dairy Queen is uniquely American. Yeah, fuck Great Britain. Anyways, I don't like, I kind of, I'm not a fan of buffalo flavored chips. I've said this before, when it's the buffalo flavor put on anything else, I always feel like it's kind of a failure.

I don't like Pringles that much. So I'm a little bit biased. It's a whack for me as well. It's a whack. But it handles it better than other buffalo flavored things. It's a good execution of the, I mean, you have to give a credit for that. Mitch, you're all over the place. I feel bad because it just kind of sucks.

Well, Christine, do you think they tried hard to make this chip? I think everybody tried really hard. I'm sure the person that you bought them from had a long day. Everybody's working so hard and everyone needs to chill out a little bit. My review of this is 100 forks. Oh my God. I think this is good.

I like this in terms of what they set out to do. They did it. They made a Pringle with the buffalo flavor. All right. Well, cut that as a snack. What about you, someone on the end? You sounded so impressed. Hard whack, guys.

It's horrible. I never want to eat one again. I regret eating the one. You know, the little anecdote jam in here. So the last time I was on Doe Boys, I reviewed Buffalo Wild Wings. And I was so caught up with the restaurant that I bought a big pile of stock in the company. What?

I'm like, all right, I'm going to put my money where my mouth is. And like two and a bunch of guys at work were like, hey, someone must know something about... You bought it before or after you ate there? After I ate. I thought it was awesome. Is Doe Boys going to bankrupt every Simpsons writer? I have to say, it immediately plunged.

It lost like 30% in the next week. It has not yet. I have yet to break even. I think people saw us eating there. We've climbed back a little bit. It was so crowded on a Tuesday night, I just thought this place is hot. It is like...

There's like a Fantastic Business Week article that I may have mentioned on the episode we did sell them in. And Buffalo Wild Wings has had explosive growth. It's like the biggest mover in terms of chain restaurants. So I think it was a very savvy investment and hopefully it pays off long term. We lost the money for God's sake. Buy and hold.

Well, I am holding it, for sure. But the dividends are in sauce. Got a pity laugh out of that. I bought stock in dog beach. I should bring my dog to dog beach. My dog would love dog beach. It is a great time. Humans go on dog beach, right?

Yeah. It's just a beach that also happens to allow dogs. And I think this weekend or next weekend there's a dog surfing competition. Oh my God, you're joking. I'm serious. I think I'm going to go. I would love to see a dog surfing competition.

Don't become and stalk me, please. But I'm going to go. I think there's a Malibu dog beach, too. Man, every beach is going to be a dog beach by the time we're done. Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to move to Great Britain. Fuck this place. All right, that was snack or whack.

We got a little bit of time left to take a question or two from the audience. It's just like a restaurant by your feedback. So we've got a live edition of the feedback. So I'm not sure. Do we have a mic out there anywhere? If not, people can step up here. We do have one back there.

So if you have a question, go ahead and raise your hand. Someone, I just want to give a shout out to Cape Cod Potato Chips. Much better than Pringles. They've got a query. Got a query out there. Any questions at all? All right, there. I see in the back.

There's some Cape Cod references to the show. I actually didn't have a question question. But I had some facts on Pringles for you. Oh, great. That are totally weird. Is that Mr. Pringle? Yes, it is. So they say crisps because it's illegal for them to call them chips.

Because Lays had a law written that because they're not potato slices, they aren't chips. Let me ask you, what was your name? Lance. Lance. Do you just know this? I do. Or did you look it up on your phone real quick? I just know.

No, I know this. I host trivia. Okay, great. So I know weird stuff. This is like the next American crime story. The people versus Mr. Pringle. Right. Also, the texture that they have is scientifically developed to make you hungrier.

To eat more Pringles. I have a terrible taste in my mouth. I don't know if they pulled it off with me. But also, so we've done two live shows and immediately people in the audience know way more about food than we did. I'm a big fat guy, too, if you haven't noticed. So I know a lot about food. You look tiny from here. Our stage is very high up.

Well, thank you very much for that Pringles knowledge. Yeah, some nice facts. Good work. Thank you. You get a Nangang sticker. Any other questions out there? Any questions, comments, anything you want to talk about in the realm of chain restaurants? You can ask Nangang a question.

You can ask Selma a question. Right there, I see in the middle. All right, the mic is being tossed over. Hi, what's your name? Hi, my name's Emily. Hi, Emily. This is my fiance. It's his birthday.

Oh, happy birthday, buddy. A big fan of the Spoon Man. So I know this is a thing for him and whatever. What's your fiance's name? His name is RJ. Spoon Nation. Yeah, baby. Right.

Happy birthday, RJ. So this has been a subject of much debate between us about Dairy Queen specifically. So I'm posing this question to you. If you're a Dairy Queen employee and someone walks up to you and says, I would like a plain blizzard, and you have no additional context, what are you putting in this blizzard? What is a plain blizzard? Oh, jeez. This is like a thing that like a Tibetan monk would ponder.

A Tibetan monk would ponder about Dairy Queen. He'd take a vow of silence and he'd spend like 18 months thinking about it. And then he'd just be driven insane and throw himself off a mountain. I don't like a plain blizzard. I guess it would just be that soft, that sweet cream ice cream. And no, what? What do you guys think? Yeah, relax.

It would just be fucking plain vanilla ice cream. No. It would be that soft sort of ice cream and maybe they'd mush it up a little bit. Mix in. What's the mix in? Yeah, because that's the thing. Like the blizzard is defined by the mix in, right? That's what makes it a blizzard.

Then there's no fucking, if it's plain, there's no mix in. But then that's not a blizzard. That's like a shake. It's like a pizza with no sauce then. You can't compare it to a pizza with no sauce. You can't compare it to a pizza with no sauce. I can 100% compare it to a pizza with no sauce. It's like saying, can I get a pizza with just sauce?

That's the comparison. Isn't it just the stuff? Look, I'm going to help you out here. You're about to get married. I'm going to give you some advice. This is much better than anything. I mean, hope, you're going to have, you're going to work hard. You're going to go out all day.

You're going to come home. A lot of married people, they're friendly to everyone else they meet and they come home and they kind of pile it all on their spouse. Here's what I say. Save your best behavior for the one you love the most. Wow. Oh my God. You try to do that every day.

Don't give them their worst because they love you. Give them your best. That's great. Great marital advice, even if you didn't ask for it. Yeah. What's the fucking mix in? I'm saying like, that's actually the only useful thing any of you have ever heard this entire process.

So it's Reese's, right? We're all agreeing. It's Reese's Puffs. It's Reese's PCs. You know what I would say? And that's how you say it. I would say Oreo. Yeah, I say Oreo.

Oreo. It's original. No, it's nothing. Give me a plain blizzard. It's nothing. Oreo is the most popular. Oreo is the first on the menu. It's the first one.

I say it's like dividing by zero. It's undefined. It's just nothing. It's clearly nothing. That's a great question. It's just plain vanilla. I'll never say I told you so. We got time for one more question real quick before we wrap it up.

Right there, right next to you. Pass the mic on over Emily. Hi, what's your name? Hi, my name is Gail. Hi, Gail. So I travel all the time and I am wondering what is your chain restaurant to eat at if you are stuck at an airport? That's an excellent question.

That's a great question. Hudson News. Get Trail Mix and a Diet Doctor Pepper from Hudson News. It may be a shape magazine. It really depends on how much time you have to kill. Because if I got a little bit of time to kill and there's like a Chili's 2, I'll lounge at the Chili's 2 because I can get myself an alcoholic beverage. I can get myself a little adult libation.

Just say you drink for God's fucking sake. But if I got to like eat on the go, I've honestly, I've honestly had, it's not my favorite burger chain, but I've had a lot of success with airport Burger Kings. For whatever reason, I feel like airports do a pretty, Burger Kings work pretty well. I don't want to like that answer, but I always find myself in a fucking airport Burger King. Even when you're not flying, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Weigard. You got Weigard. Yes, I drive down to fucking LAX. Like go into the Burger King and eat there, you asshole. You just got Nangang. Yeah, I feel like I find myself in Burger King. Why is that? They must have like a lot of airport like locations.

I feel like they just replicate the Burger King, the actual Burger King pretty well at that airport. And a lot of times that airport thing, the version, it's a crap shoot. But what do you think, Nangle and Selman, any airport chain picks? Well, I'm stuck in Atlanta a lot because my wife's nightmare in-laws. And there was a hot dog chain that was construction themed that I always liked. That they had to wear little hard hats and assemble the hot dogs. I mean, the food was fine. I just liked the assembly line theme of construction and girders and bolts and, you know, industrial hot dogs.

I don't know what it was called. Oh, Dunkin Donuts, too, is a good one. I'll always go to Dunkin Donuts. Yeah. What was that? Varsity. Varsity? No, no, not varsity.

I mean, that's a big Atlanta institution. This is just a weird, rando, failed construction worker hot dog chain. Probably aimed at five-year-old boys. Nangle, you're sticking with Hudson News? I'm going to stick with Hudson News. The most recent place I was, the most recent chain restaurant I was in was at a TGI Fridays at the Pittsburgh airport. And I was crying my eyes out at the bar drinking a white wine at, like, noon. Oh, man.

I don't want any other context. No, it was, I was just sad to leave. The dog beach is close. Okay. Dog beach. I travel the country looking for dog beaches. But, yeah, I don't really eat. I mostly literally will just, I'll just get a bunch of snacks and go sit in your by window where I can look out the window and eat.

Yeah, I like that. And I just want to say, don't bring food onto the airplane. Who cares? Just don't fucking eat. Don't do it. Don't bring food on the plane. And we got the light. We went over.

I think we're going over. We have five minutes. Anyway, we got to wrap it up right now. But great questions, everyone. And I think we'll wrap it up there. So that's our show. Guys, big hand for Christine Nagle. Thank you.

Thank you guys. I do have stickers. Stickers. Literally. Give it up for Matt Selman. October 9th for that Simpsons episode. October 8th, October 9th. Our producer, Dustin Marshall for Ferrell Audio.

For the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. Thanks, guys. Thank you.