Doughboys - Daphne’s with Jessica Jean Jardine

Episode Date: August 17, 2017

The ‘boys welcome comedian and actor Jessica Jean Jardine (Comedy Bang! Bang!, Kar Dishin' It) as they discuss hummus, wedding caterers, and their recent experience at Greek restaurant chain Daphne���s. Plus, the heat is turned up for another segment of Hot or Not.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In Greek mythology, Apollo, the god of light, was among those powerful of the deities. The son of Zeus and Leto and the twin of sister Artemis, Apollo was said to have taught mortal men the science of medicine, but he was hardly a paragon of virtue. Apollo insulted Eros, more commonly known by his Roman name, Cupid, leading the true but god of sexuality to shoot him with a golden arrow, causing Apollo to fall wildly in love with a niad, or water nymph. Eros then shot a second arrow into the new target of Apollo's affection, imbuing the nymph with a deep hatred of her would-be beau.

Driven mad by desire, Apollo pursued the niad relentlessly, leading the nymph to cry out to the river god Pinius, open the earth to enclose me, or change my form, which has brought me into this danger. Let me be free of this man from this moment forward. Pinius answered her, transmuting her into a laurel. So desperate was she to evade Apollo's amorous advances, she would choose to discard her human form and become a tree. Fast forward from the tall tales of ancient Greece's 20th century California, where in

1991, restaurateur George Catecholitis opened a fast-casual Greek concept in the SoCal town of Carlsbad. The Mediterranean flavor profiles and light, healthy fare led Californians to pursue its cuisine like smitten gods themselves. Now with 56 locations across California, Arizona, and Colorado, and plans to franchise nationwide, this Greek restaurant takes its name from the water nymph with whom Apollo fell helplessly in love. This week on Doughboys, Daphne's.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants or production of Feral Audio.com. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Rajan Rondo, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. That's funny. Yeah. Okay. My name is Kambria. Little old school Celtic shout-out. MD Kambria?

Yeah. What is it? MD. It's all a handle. MD Kambria. All right. What? What?

I just didn't know who I was trying to figure out what it was. I was trying to figure out if I knew. It might be Kambria. I don't know. Okay. I think I assume it's two initials, and then the last name Kambria, but that's all I got to go off of. Okay.

I find. It was like one string. It was all like one continuous string of all lowercase characters. D-C-A-M-B-R-I-A. He gets points for having a Celtic shout-out, right, even though he called me fat. Anyways, Nick, how are you doing? I'm okay. Hmm.

Oh, do you seem unhappy with me today? No, I'm fine. Hmm. I don't know. It seems like you're upset now. No. I'm okay. That means you're sad.

Something's wrong. What does it mean? I'm sad. I'm fine. It's fine. I'm at a five or 10. I know that you're out of work now. Maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but I want to say, are you, are you finding yourself

bored? Do you hate the podcast or doing, we're doing two days in a row? Oh yeah. I still like the podcast. That's a given. No, I, but I'm not particularly bored. I'm keeping myself busy. I'm finding things to do.

I went to the pool earlier today. I've been doing yoga and going to the gym and I've been staying active. Weirdly, the homicide rates have gone up. A lot of people have been missing since that night ended. Right. Well, I can't take full credit for that. Full credit. Anyways, to Spoon Nation and here, Nick, it may sound like I'm trying to buy myself

some time is a little drop. It's coming. All right. Okay. All right. Here's the Godbreaker. Oh, I'm going to make him a sandwich. He can't refuse.

I'm talking about the Jersey bikes, Jersey show is favorite, Provolone, Ham and Capacuolo. That one's really good. I look at their cold subs more than their hot subs. I like the sub in the tub. It's a perfectly functional place that does everything it's supposed to do. Hey, three and a half forks. God, I hate this show. Show sucks.

A bunch of dog shit. It is a bunch of dog shit. I'd forgotten that happened. And it wasn't even that long ago. That wasn't that long ago. That was from the Drew Tarver episode. You've talked about how your brain is starting to mush. Yeah, it's gotten worse.

Yeah. I just like, I don't have, I feel like I can't access memories in the same way. Not with the same rapidity and not with the same, like I can't like latch on to like, oh, I had no this specific bit of data immediately. Am I going to be taking care of you soon? I'm just feeding you gruel. Right. Are we dabbing drool?

Yeah. Dabbing drool from my chin. I may have a wife. That's sort of that purpose of that. I'll say not so smart anymore. Well, you're going to be mocking me. Of course. Sticking my signature spoon into your mouth with gruel on it.

The Spoon Man Spoon. Like that's the final irony that you're feeding me with a spoon. Yes. I think that's ironic. Feeding me. I think that's ironic. No. Right.

Yeah. It's right up there with the cask of a Monteado. All right. Enough of that shit. Anyways, enough with your references, Weiger. That was from Robert Persinger. Hmm. Uh, Persinger, not Porzingis, Nick.

Yeah. He's a Seattle man. Right. He didn't tell, he didn't tell me where to, uh, shout him out. So that's it. Anyways, that's that low energy. This is your fault. You think this is my fault?

Yes. You come in and you're like, fine. And then I'm like, what's wrong? And then you then go low energy. One of us needs to, I'm just saying one of us needs to overcompensate for the other because we're both on the same. What am I supposed to do? It's like doing a podcast with a broom.

How am I supposed to just constantly talk? Hey, if I was a broom, I'd sweep this big hunk of trash out of here. Oh, big hunk of trash? That's what I'm saying. Piece of shit. I'm going to cover you in trash. I don't know what that means, but I think I know what it means. You're going to throw a bunch of refuse on me.

Dirty me up. Cover me with gunk. Uh, It's a couple of quick plugs. Huh? We'll be at the Now Hear This podcast festival September 8th through 10th in New York City. Info and tickets.

NowHearThisFest.com. And also some live shows in the Pacific Northwest in October and Texas in November, December. Dates and tickets at feralaudio.com. Hey, we're going on the road. How about that? Wow. You can get all this energy and excitement on the road.

I'm trying to jack it up a little bit. We're jacked about traveling, right? Stop saying jacked. I just, we got to get jacked. Jack yourself up, man. Doe Boys Tour. Get jacked. That's our official tagline.

For your get jacked t-shirt, hoodie or a blazer, go to feralaudio.com slash Doe Boys. Check out our online store or a refuse rag. Right. Yeah. A classic refuse rag. You know that, that, that big towel you used to clean up your garbage. Get one of those.

You know that beach towel sized implement you used to just sort of collect your refuse. Yes. Right. We've been dirty lately. We've got to clean this podcast up. Don't you think? Yeah.

Hey, you know what? I think our guest is probably going to clean the classes up. Our guest is. I will be on good behavior with our guest because she's very nice and sweet and funny and we'll, she'll keep me, she'll keep me honest. Well, we'll see what, we'll see just what happens with that. From comedy bang bang BuzzFeed and the podcast. Cardition it.

Jessica Jardin. Hi, Jess. Hi guys. Hello. Thank you for coming. Oh, I'm jacked. Hell yeah. Hella jacked.

I never heard you say jacked. No, it's. Oh, now you're smiling. Yeah. The maintained eye contact. You're smiling. You're the savior of the podcast because you said, let's get jacked. That's what we needed.

It worked on me. Huh? It worked. It's contagious. People across the country are getting jacked. No one's getting jacked. If you're getting jacked out there, hashtag I'm jacked. There's only one jack you do.

Nick. And you know what I know. Yeah. I know what you're tied. Well, that's not fair. I want to know. It's jacking off. I was sure it wasn't a celebrity.

I thought it was a celebrity impression. Oh man. It was like Jack Nicholson. It is his Jack Nicholson. Let's hear it, Nick. Hey, yeah. It's me, Jack Nicholson. You can't handle the truth.

Oh fuck. It was good. Get jacked, baby. Yes. His classic line from the movie. Yeah. Why does he look blind? I don't know.

I can't do it, Jack Nicholson. I can't really do any impressions. Jack Nicholson sounds like that. Oh, Mitch coming in, swooping in. What other celebrities do you do, Mitch? Jack Nicholson, that's it. I do a couple more, right, Nick? Yeah.

You do all the jacks. You Jack Bauer? Oh, god damn it. We only have 24 hours. Is that Jack Bauer? Yeah, perfect. The Jack in the Box, Jack? Right.

Oh, god, I hate that Jack in the Box. Yeah, how could you hate that? We've talked about him on the show. He's too smarmy. Yeah, I get it. The Jack in the Box guy is too, like, also, like, he wears, when they shoot those commercials, he wears the head, but it's like, there's like a cut out space in his face

is there. Do you know this? Oh, no, but it's like some, it's like, Tim was telling me it's like two best friends, like one's the director and one's the guy. Yeah. They've been doing it like forever. It's just kind of their thing, right?

And this is also a regional thing. Like not the whole, the whole country doesn't have Jack in the Box. Oh, that's right. I always forget that. Yes. Me too. Now that I, because it's just on so much, I feel like

he's so many Jack in the Box. It's a big Cali to do. Yes. It was like where I spent a lot of my high school in a Jack in the Box parking lot. Hell yeah. I don't tell you. Hey, yeah, cool.

Very cool. I think that I think there's a lot of fast food hanging out. We used to hang at my Quincy crew. We'd hang out down around a Burger King in a 7-Eleven. Yeah. We'd hang out at a Burger King or like one of the places you can go, right? And one guy threw a kid through the Burger King window.

Oh my God. That's sorry. And I ran in there and grabbed a bunch of burgers and ran out. Saw the distraction new. We did a lot of Taco Bell hangs, a lot of AMPM hangs, but I distinctly remember there's some Jack in the Box hangs, one because there's Jack in the Box right by

Bolsa Chica State Beach. So you're saying we, this is you and Mrs. Weiger? Also. My wife back in 1990. No. 1992. Your mom. You and Mrs.

Oh, me and my mom. No. Also, Natalie doesn't go by Mrs. Weiger. I don't know why I left to that. She gave her last name. God bless her. Right. They're as woke as they get.

No, Weiger, get woke, buddy. You're right. Look, I'm already Jack now. I'm going to get woke. That's a lot in one evening. But no, so one specific Jack in the Box hang. My buddy Reed, I was in seventh grade and I went. Was he named after his favorite?

I knew. Was he named after? I couldn't. I couldn't think of it. Reed is in a woodwind instrument. I know. I know. I know where you're going.

Yes. Jess has known me for a very long time. She knows my mess ups. His favorite. Like his favorite. I know. That's where I fucked up. Like I was going to say, like I should have been like, was he

named for how he could replace a read or something very quick or something like that? I was trying to make your friends be like the super friend, like the nerdy super friends from the Simpsons. So much work. Reed was a. Reed was a reasonably cool kid. So I was hanging out with him and we went to we were like went

and looked at the we went to like this record store that also sold is like what like that hybrid sort of record store hot topics sort of thing. Merch, but they also got records and it's like kind of cool and that's why you guys were there. Yeah, we looked at some red hot chili pepper's tapes and then I bought a chain wallet. Very timely.

Yeah, I used like the all the cash that I had to buy a chain wallet. So I had a chain wallet with no money to put in it. And then afterwards we went to Jack in the box. Reed treated me to Jack in the box with his money. And then we went back to his dad's apartment and watch the spice channel. Oh my God.

What a turn. And then did you use that chain to whip your back? Did you say Bolsa Chica Beach? Yeah. That's one of my favorite names because doesn't it translate to like women's purse? Does it really? I think Bolsa Chica is ladies purse.

We don't pass it. It's like on the PCH and I was like, my Spanish is very rusty. So I apologize because I could be 100% wrong. I don't know. But I'm pretty. Bolsa I thought was purse and Chica is woman. I thought it was like, which is then just a very funny beach name to me.

I always knew and I took Latin class and Pulcra Puella is a pretty girl. And our Latin teacher told us that like we would ever like me and the four other dorks in that class would ever use it. He was like, you just remember this line. We were like, okay. Oh, he was saying like use it on women and it'll get you far. No, did not work out.

I mean, she would have to kind of know Latin, right? Yeah. Or like in snaring her to be like, wait, what? I think it's already like such a turn off to be like, I know what 100% listen to this right. I don't know. There's probably some cool guys who can do it, but not me. Nick.

I was going to say that Simpsons that when when they win the back to my rejoke back to my rejoke, it keep justifying this Simpsons moment is very that is like a very. I feel like that moment is so true to like when they're like, we're going to call you. What are they? They say we're going to call you when there's there's the guy what there's calculator report card.

What I try to remember with all the what all those friends are named. Yeah. This is the group of like this is when Bart gets glasses, right? And he becomes nerdy. So he hangs out with all database is one of them known. I was actually thinking of the Bart's Comet and don't they call him like the the super friends call him like like some sort of like a like sky term or so.

I forget. Right. Not Copernicus, but something like that. I'm so embarrassed, but it's I feel like it's one of the true. I feel like that was me. Like I feel that. What do you what do you mean exactly? I remember at my senior.

Like I remember at my senior prom. There was one kid like they were like they were like the Simpsons nerds like he was like the you know the one there's one that looks like it's Pat from SNL. Yeah. I think that's database. That's database. Yeah.

And that I remember at my at my my senior prom. I went outside and there was one kid there and he was very nerdy. He was a nice kid, but he was like he's like I and like he said something to me and like kind of making fun of me and I was like what do you mean? He's like you're like us and I was like I got very mad. This is the one time I was a bully and I was like I'm not like you. Wow.

It's like the movie Freaks, you know one of us one of us and they're like circling you. That's that's how they very very much felt that way. And I was like I'm not like you, but I was I was like them. Yeah, you should just accept it, but it's hard for a kid to do that. It was hard for me to do. Do you want to maybe call him?

Yeah, I think I'm going to call right now. Your past self. No. Get a time phone to call my past self. 70 year old Mitch to accept these. He's a loser. Look, 18 year old Mitch was cooler than fucking 18 year old Wiger. You think so?

Yeah. This is a good this is a very good showdown. We should I wish that we could introduce the two of them. Wow. Put them in a room together. I think what are the top three things that each would talk about topics? Hmm.

Let's see. Okay. Being in the also their orchestra playing bassoon. Let's see. I think he'd probably want to talk about Castlevania Symphony of the Night for the Sony PlayStation. Okay. And then probably Star Wars.

So yeah, pretty pretty much the same as today. It's changed. Mitch. Star Wars. Oh, see? You already have a huge thing in common. Mario. Okay.

And Bud Light. Whoa. Cool. I was cooler than you. Spuds Mackenzie. Is that another topic? That's that's that's the Bud Wiser dog. I know who Spuds Mackenzie.

Everyone else who spuds Mackenzie is. Hey, man. I'm 18 year old. Why you're like the party, but he lacked a different kind of bud. No, you know you didn't. That's a lie. I like the kind kind.

Dancing with your fingers. Two peace signs. It got very groovy all of a sudden. You did not do any of that. I wouldn't. Your bassoon playing would be affected. I did. I did smoke some marijuana in high school and some in college

and they took along. Did you really? Yeah. How much? Not a lot. I was more of a drinker. Oh, yeah. I did.

I did substances. Support him. Hey gentlemen. Did you join a circle? I do substances. Hand that over please. I love a hit off a substance. Everyone just thought I was a narc.

All right. So a couple of follow ups and things we're discussing earlier. Bolsa Chica does translate literally as girl bag. See. According to Google. Okay. And then the members of the Springfield super friends. Database.

Yes. These ones we've a report card I got. Cosmos was Bart's. Cosmos was Bart. Yes. God. There's also ham because he likes ham radio. Cosine.

Email. And then Lisa. Oh yeah. Lisa. That's very funny. Lisa. I love that man. We were.

We love the Simpsons. We would have talked about the Simpsons. We would have talked about the Simpsons. We would have talked about the Simpsons. We would have been friends. It would have been fine. I think you would have. No fucking way.

Okay. You turned so fast. No way. One second of agreeing and then no. I would love to get young Walker and young Mitchell together. Have you guys. You should unearth photos from around that time and see. Right.

Do you look a little side by side? Maybe when that I look very dorky. I had like I had big thick glasses for a couple of years. So I looked super dorky then but I went glasses free. I would think I was I was rocking the contacts in senior year. So I looked at a little bit more of a cleaner look. When did you because when I met you, you had long hair. I did have long hair for a while.

Like for a long while. You look like caveman s. It was cool. Really? It was. Oh, I don't know that I'd say caveman. But I mean, long hair on a man kind of has a few categories that a few, you know. Was it cool?

I liked it. Jess says it was cool. Your voice just cracked. She said it was cool. I was there. It was not cool. I didn't think it was cool either. But I don't know.

Maybe it was. I mean, I don't know. But he looked like you look you have long hair and you were like kind of like beefy. I was a chunky guy. But you were beefy. I was a beefier guy. Yeah. I had a little bit more around the midsection.

Yeah. It looks like you ate dinner from 7-Eleven alone. Right. But you probably did. And I kind of too because I had a phase where I just I think I dress fairly preppy now. But I was there. I was like just wearing a lot of like wrinkly print t-shirts.

You dress like a shit. You dress farly preppy. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Like a farly like a preppy man from a Farley Brothers movie. Yeah. I was trying to say.

Wait. Like a Farley Brothers, you mean? Oh yeah. Did I say it wrong? You said Farley. Yeah. I was trying to say Farley. Which is kind of the same sort of thing.

Yeah. No. Farley is completely different. I fucked up. Okay. I'm bad at podcasting. I'm bad at jokes. Guys, we're having fun.

You can speak more. You can speak more clear than I can as a big part of Nick's thing. Sometimes. I still get tripped up on my tongue sometimes. Yes. It's not easy. It's hard to talk. It's hard to talk.

You put a mic in front of you and you get self-conscious about it. You start making verbal mistakes you wouldn't otherwise make. I agree. It's difficult. It's hard. His intro is edited. Mitch. Hey.

It's your intro too. You know. Right. It's true. First rule of improv. There you go. It's your intro too. You have ownership of it.

You're supposed to have his back. It takes Dustin like three hours and 30 minutes to edit together Nick's intro. He's stuttering. He puts it together by word. I had three flubs. And you know what? The last episode we did with our buddy Carl, I had no flubs. One take all the way through.

And that was a longer monologue. There you go. One take. That's cool. Have you ever tried it? No, I've never tried it. I did do one intro once. Yeah.

To make fun of me. Yeah. Why do you have to make fun of you? That's what we do on the podcast. You're right. That's what we do. All right. Enough of this horse play.

Jess, we're very happy to have you here. One thing I want to talk you about. And one restaurant we had on your list that we were potentially going to cover. And maybe we'll cover it in the future. But it has a connection to you and your husband Tim. And that is... Jess is married to Tim Kalpak is the Greek freak. I thought you were going to say the Greek with the great physique.

Ooh, the Greek with the great. Hey, that works too. I think he said that. I think that's his... All right. We'll edit that in. The Greek freak is Janus. He owns that one.

Oh, really? Yeah. All right. Then the Greek with the great physique. Thank you. Tim Kalpak. He'll be happy to have that. Thank you.

But this is the restaurant that catered your wedding. Yes. And it's a fairly... I don't know how expansive it is. I think it's part of a family that has a few different restaurants across the nation. It's only a couple. I looked it up and I thought it was a lot more. But I think it's only like maybe three or four.

So it's not that many. But you probably know the spices from your grocery store, the Lowries. Yes. And they have a Lowries the prime rib out here. And then they also have the Tamo Shanta, which is a Lowries restaurant that has the same sort of cuts of meat. I was getting some spices at the store the other day. I pick them up.

I get back to the house. I'm putting it on the shelf. I look at the spices. Baby? Scary? I'd picked up the Spiced Girls. Oh, man. I picked up the Spiced Girls, Nick.

I saw that coming. Like I was like, had binoculars and was looking at Lawrence of Arabia, like crusting a hill in the distance. Like I saw how far away that was coming. And then when it landed. I tried to bring it back. No return policy. Right.

He's not giving up. Let me tell you. You know who the nicest one is? Scary. Yeah. Ironically. Ironically scary is the nicest one. And maybe pretty mature.

So they were all the opposite of what you thought they were going to be. Sporty is lazy as hell. What's Ginger's deal? She's quite as a ghost. That's the opposite of Ginger. And of course, Posh likes to mosh. Did you saw just sigh? Nick, you're right.

Posh does like to mosh. She's wrecked the entire apartment. Oh boy. I went into the other room. She was moshing around. Took my surprise. Wally and Irma are moshing with her. Whoa.

Hey, she's a bad influence. I didn't know one woman and two cats could be a mosh pit. They very much can be. We're learning a lot here. You didn't like my Spice Girls joke? I thought it was great. It was not coming a mile away. Oh.

It was great though. Comedy is going to be surprising. No, that's not what I'm saying. I thought it was part of its charm. Sometimes you see, you know, beautiful sunsets coming. Yes. It doesn't mean that you don't enjoy it, but you're watching the sunset for a while.

100%. 100%, Nick. Like I know if I mention, like, you know, oh, I went to the pool and so I put some, you know, SPF, I put some suntan lotion on my back. You're going to talk about me later using that lotion to jack off. That's just what you do. No, but I think you did just tell us how you jack off with sunscreen. That makes sense.

Well, I want your house open a cabinet and hundreds of bottles of sunscreen brained onto me. Right. The rest of them is just burned all the time. My doctor wants to, wants me to explain my ghost white dick. This thing will not get tan. All right. Lowry's the prime rib.

Yes. What is, what is your fascination, your, your fandom for Lowry's? Where does that come from? So I had, I was not actually familiar with Lowry's before dating Tim. Okay. I'd heard of it. I'd seen it on La Cienega. It's kind of, there's, for anyone familiar with LA,

there's like kind of restaurant row. There used to be a Benihana and a bunch of restaurants right on La Cienega. And that's where the big Beverly Hills Lowry's is. And that's like a place where Tim's family, when they would come out from the East coast, that was sort of like their nice meal that they would have when they got into town. So that was like a new place for me. And for anyone who has not been, it's like a, it's a to do any restaurant.

That's kind of like a to do, like a Benihana or like that. Where, where they wear kind of old timey waitress outfits. They have these spinning salad bowls. The actual space is this kind of like high ceiling, historic looking building. Chandeliers, giant oil paintings. Beautiful, like crazy kind of brocade wallpaper. And when you go, when you are waiting for your table, they have a station that has like little meatballs and these homemade chips.

Yeah. That you like make a little plate and sit and wait. And then the big thing, of course, is that they push around these, I don't know what like steel riveted. What is it? No, I think I'd like a, like a, they're basically these like that have skewers with the prime rib on them inside. What is that? What would that be called?

I don't know. It's like a mobile carving station. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Carving station. Yeah. Carving station. And so they're on wheels and these carvers kind of push them all around table to table. So it's, so if you go to Lowry's, at least the prime rib here in LA, it's just this big to do. You can get spinning salad.

It's fun. It's so fun. You sit at these big booths where they kind of have to pull the table out for you to all sit. And I just was very charmed by it. That's like, as someone who like, again, was like a Benihana kind of person, like that kind of stuff is very up my alley. And then on top of it, I think it's just like very quality food. It is really good.

And Tim needs what? 10 to 15 pounds of prime rib a week. On a good week. I mean, if he's cutting back, I will, I will say, go ahead, Nick, actually finish your thought. And I was just going to say that they, I went to, I took the in-laws to Lowry's and great, great family spot. Yes.

Parents in town. It really is. That's what Tim's plan is. But we went there and the guy, I don't know if this is something that, that always happens, but the guy that was working our carving station had a big, like gold medallion. Yeah.

What's that? What's that big metal? I have never, I don't know. I think it's, I think it's honestly kind of for show. But maybe there's like a tier. I've never had anyone introduce themselves as like a senior master carver or some like hierarchy or ranking. But maybe it's just to, I mean, it looks cool.

So I don't know. I did say it was like a master car. They did call him like master carver. Maybe it is. Maybe it is like a, like a, I got a bit of a theory. Okay. You got this bloody prime rib.

Right. You're, you're, you're rolling around everywhere. Who's wrong? The servers. Okay. A lot of blood. You know what that's going to attract? Vamps.

So. Oh my God. They wear those heavy metals to protect themselves against the vamp. Snick. Cause Lowry's is filled with rivers of blood. I just want to, I just want to follow the logic here. What is the so like, is there a silver that silver like vampires away?

That is, that is a vampire theory. That's a silver. Yes. It burns them. Oh, I thought that was just silver bullets kill werewolves. No, that's that. Like on true blood and stuff, it would be like, if you held silver or in lots of vampire things,

if you hold silver to their skin, it's like sizzles them. I feel like they should have a big old crucifix in that case. I think that is what they, yeah, that's what they should have at Lowry's. How intense that would be a huge crucifix hanging around all the carvers. Right. I think I personally think every restaurant should have a giant crucifix.

That would make you feel more at home. It made me feel more at home. Nick, it's all about a, it's all about alchemy. I looked it up. And then he alchemy stumbled through saying the word. Wait. What are you saying? Alchemy.

He's talking about the idea of alchemy about metal. Oh, okay. What? You idiot. No, but wait, that's what the connection to vampirism is. I don't know. I was trying to say that the, the metals, like a, it's all, it's all, it's look, Nick, I can't tell you about vampires and Dracula and all this sort of stuff.

You got to. I've never seen Mitch's patronizing in my life. You got to open up a freaking book. Yikes. Go to the, go to the, go to the library. Look up Mary Shelley. Okay. Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein.

I know, but they're related. Here's what I know about, about track notes. Garlic keeps them away. Crucifixes piss them off. You can kill them with a steak through the heart. The silver thing is new to me. This is, this is strictly Castlevania speak. You're, you're, you're talking right now.

Right. You can toss holy water at them. It works as a boomerang. If you hit a, if you hit a lamp on the wall, there's a heart inside and if you bust open a brick that there might be like a little turkey dinner. That would be a treat. Yeah. Um, where do you rank, where do you rank vamps in your, in your, in your.

You calling them vamps is all new to me. I have never heard this. Yes. You know me forever. I've always called them vamps. Well, we must not have been gabbing about vamps. Vampires. Um, though we would tell some because I am a believer in ghosts.

A firm lover. I like spooky stuff. Me too. We've had some good spooky stories. Tim, not as big into spooky stuff. No. Yes. He's not really, you know, I think he's secretly afraid.

Took a theory. That can be a defense. Smart enough that he doesn't believe in any of it. Which is probably the case. Right. Um, but, uh, where do you rate them vamps on your, uh, list of, of, uh, of boogeymen? Um, mhm.

Okay. In terms of boogeymen. So you're talking about kind of like month, like human sized monsters. Yeah. Kind of same. I knew the top because they're smart. Yeah. And they also have a lot of like, I think what's really scary is they

have a lot of like sexuality. Yes. Yeah. I don't know. That's the way they can glamour. Like the idea of glamoring and stuff is very scary. Sure. There was a very funny turn with, with vampires where they like, I feel like

I was still dawn. They turn like is one, a movie that turned them like grotesque. Oh, really? Like where like they like became like, I mean, I think they were always pretty bad, but then like, like, uh, like hellish or whatever. Am I, am I right here? There's different depictions. Yeah.

Because they're, they're kind of like vampire like creatures and, and I am legend or kind of, they're not exactly. Yeah. There's that kind of like Nosferatu looking style of vampire. And then there's like true blood, haughty bodies. They were ugly and Buffy too. Right. Yes.

Yeah. I guess, I guess, I guess it was pretty early on. It depends. Have you ever seen Nosferatu? The, the classic? No. I have. Yeah.

Is it good? I mean, not really. It's fine. I don't remember. Are any old scary movies scary? I wonder. I wonder. Some of them are like the, the clout, the original Frankenstein is amazing

and it's really sad. Right. It's like, that's an, that's like an example of one that's like one of those ones you watch and you're like, Oh, that was better. Everything was better. But I got, I've never seen the, I've never seen some of those classic monsters. We should watch them.

I think we should watch some classic monster movies. That would be very fun. For on the, on a double we do some classic horror movies. Yeah. And you know it's a scary old movie that train coming right to the screen. I sprinted out of the theater. Wait, you did?

I did. Yeah. So the first time you saw it, it had the same effect on you as it did to people. 60 years before. It was going to barrel through and kill my family. What a bunch of, all I get to say is what a bunch of dumb fuck. How embarrassed were they?

That's so embarrassing that they ran away. You think they went back in and like finished watching or they all just went home and were like, maybe that. I mean, like how long was that movement? Like that. It was probably like 30 seconds. Yeah. People go and watch newsreels.

Like at movie theaters. They just would sit and watch newsreels. Yeah. And like cartoons. That was like a big silent movies and cartoons and newsreels. I don't know. I think about, you know, CGI and the cool things we get to watch. That is, I mean, I hate, I don't, I dislike CGI.

I hate CGI. I hate CGI. But I feel like there is like, like getting out of the house to go see something seems like, Oh, I do that. That's kind of cool. It seems very cool. And that the idea that the movies would like yet connect you to like the

week and news, but we have so much of that. Now it's kind of like, now you kind of go to the movies to not be connected to, you know, that's the exact opposite. That's how I have two hours of not looking at your phone and not thinking about the news and just like truly following a fully attentive like narrative is really like rare. I think it's fucking great.

It feels crazy. And you get out and you're like, well, you never do it. I love, I love, I love going to them. I go, you're a movie guy. I go all the time. I go. Do you go solo? I have.

I started going solo. I love going solo. We're getting older. So like you can't always get a friend to go. And part of getting older is waking up earlier. And sometimes it's like, you know, in your twenties or something, you're like hung over on a weekend, but like to wake up and go to a matinee on like a Saturday morning is like so nice.

You get out and you have a whole day, but you like saw a movie. It's great. I'm into like the 10 a.m. screen. I think that's so fun. 10 a.m. screening is too much. I remember Hanford accidentally went to a mommy and me screening. No. But you know what?

One of my favorite movie theater stories is may not play on the radio at all was a, he went and saw Avatar, you know, and it was with the goggles, the big 3d goggles. Right. And at like the peak action sequence, our friend who was with him like turned to be like, oh my God, this is crazy. And Hanford's jaw was dropped and like, oh my God. They gasped together like this is crazy.

Because remember Avatar was crazy. Right. And then she realized he was asleep. But that he just had his goggles on. His jaw had just gone slack. Dear God. So he was just like, just fully seated in his chair. Just like, uh, but that's adorable.

He was very cute. What does Barney, uh, like, like, oh boy. What was it? The Barney, Barney Fife. Barney Fife. Yeah. Hanford is like a, is like a 21st century Barney Fife. He's watching, he's watching Avatar.

And he falls asleep. Lots of good people fall asleep. Tim falls asleep in lots of movies. Yeah. He fell asleep in the peak of, um, oh my gosh. What is it? The Tarantino World War II. I'm blinking.

In glorious bastards in the peak. His like action sequence at the end. His friend is, his friend is in the movie. Well, don't rat him out. Jesus Christ. He's a snoozy dude. Jesus. Sorry.

He'll tell you. I've all say this about, uh, we should watch those monster movies because that would be fun. Yeah. And also one last thing about that is just being like, like the summer, like going out to a thing, like when it's like a hot summer, like that seems so fun to even to go watch newsreels because everyone would be like in AC.

I think that's cool. I agree. Calpacus family. Uh, I love their eaters and, and, and when we restaurant tours, their restaurant tours and we would go like, uh, in Montreal, we went to like a bunch of places. I've said this on the podcast before, but like they took us to Schwartz's because they're from Montreal.

They're French Canadians. Yeah. So they know Montreal really, really well. And it's, I've never gone with them, but I've gone with Tim and it's like, yeah, Schwartz's and all these like classic places, all these classic places and his dad was so thrilled to have like a big fat guy. You could toss beef at and I would swallow it, but they're, they're, they're, they're, they're a big, that's a, they're a big, he's a big

and Tim is a big fan of food. Oh yeah. And so I'm surprised that you living out here never, you never tried Lowry's before. I just read it. Well, I think it was just that we, uh, yeah, I didn't have him near me growing up and it was just one of those ones. I think I also thought it was just kind of like a, uh, Bruce Chris

or a Morton's like just sort of a steakhouse. I didn't know, I didn't know that it had like a Disney layer. That's not the right description, but then, you know, like a to do thing about it. Yeah. So I was very surprised when we went and it had that. Also to all those people who don't know it. Lowry's is also the salt.

When people talk about a lot, it's seasoning. It's seasoning. So I was saying earlier with the spices thing that you derailed. That's what it's. Yeah. Remember people probably know the spices at the grocery store. And that's what led you on your. I zoned in on a very funny joke.

All right. We'll get us back on track. Mr. Back on tracker. Well, I'll tell you this, this is an interesting little thing, which was how we ended up with Lowry's catering or wedding. So we became big Lowry's people there. As you said, there's the Tamo shanter, which is Scottish themed,

which is really rare. Like there's lots of British pubs in Irish, Irish bars and restaurants, but my dad is from Scotland, like from Glasgow. And so I was really excited to find the Tamo shanter because that's not like a theme restaurant that exists. It's great. It's so weird.

And then so we go there a lot because it's close to where we live. And when we found our wedding venue, it's this place called the LA River Center and it's, it's in sort of East LA. And it was weird when we were touring around it. It's now this sort of park, like it's sort of just like a run by the park system and they, and they do kind of events. It's basically an event space,

but we found out that in the, oh God, what was it in the fifties? Lowry's bought it. It was a Lowry's property. Lowry's was like booming at the time. And I'll probably get some of my facts wrong, but they decided to build this thing called Lowry's California center. And it was like 18 acres and it's basically, it's like in the era of like Epcot and kind of like Expo stuff.

They decided to build this sort of like Lowry's day park, like an adventure park, but not rides. It was like different Lowry's food areas, like Mexican food. And like, so it was like a supposed to be a thing that you went to and like spent a day at with your family. And we found all these old photos of like their promotional photos from like the four, or yeah, it was fifties, I think, of them.

Yeah, like, like all these promo photos of like California center, Lowry's California center and these amazing signs, like old logos and stuff. And so we just thought that was a cool fact about it. And then once we decided to go to the venue, they were like, well, even though they sold that off a long time ago, they had run like some office operations out of there for another decade or two. And so they, they had a catering deal with them.

So they had, even though they've been removed from it for a long, long time, they still cater it almost just as like a kind of nod to it. Right. Because they've had this like long history there. So it was a neat thing for us that they knew it so well. And it was like this actual historic part of Lowry is a place we really love. That's amazing. Which led to the best wedding meal we've ever had.

Oh, that's so nice. It was really, really. Is that true? Yeah, that pride. I mean, it was a prime rib at a wedding. That was our home. That was a prime rib at the wedding. It was great.

That's my very, that's probably my favorite meal. It's a Lowry's prime rib. Like that was not my favorite meal for a lot of my life. And that just in like the years of going to Lowry's. That's like, that's the idea of when we realized we could have it at our wedding and that it wasn't like a million dollars was like unbelievable. So I was really happy. And that's why today we didn't go to Lowry's.

Well, yeah, it's great. Also, we, I, they did the spinning salad bowls at the wedding, which was like, I couldn't believe that they actually did that part. Just to plug Lowry's, they were like, for anyone getting married, they'd go to lots of venues and like, I could not recommend it more. They were like the loveliest people and it was amazing. They were cool. I also went up and they put me in one of those salad bowls,

spun me around, tossed dressing in there. It was great. And you were happy about that? I was very happy. Made my night. Oh, okay. I'm glad my wedding was so boring. No, no, it was great.

It was very fun. I finally had fun. No, no, no. I had fun all around. There was a lot of great stuff. There was great desserts. There was like shaved ice at one point. There was a lot of great stuff.

Thanks. Thank you. So why, Jess? Why do we go to Daphne's today? I got to tell you, right off the bat, like Greek food is one of my favorite foods and I eat out a lot. Yeah.

And there's a combo of two things. One, it feels healthier and it is healthier in a lot of ways. Nick, you disagree? I mean, there's pita and stuff. You can make it unhealthy. Yeah. But I think it generally feels lighter and fresher than a lot of other cuisines.

I mean, I feel like Mediterranean food in general. There was like that whole, I feel like there was a Mediterranean diet for a time. I don't even know. I feel like maybe people still do do that. Right. I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Like just like chicken, lettuce and like, I think hummus. People would go back and forth on hummus because like, I think that it might be, what is there? A lot of carbs or something?

I think the thing with anything involving beans is sometimes I feel like people are 50-50 on in terms of their nutritional value because sometimes you'll be like, oh, beans are a great source of protein and fiber. And then other people would be like, it's just you're getting so many carbs that it doesn't really offset it. I love beans.

And I mean, because that's the basis of hummus basically. Chickpea. Chickpea, right? Yeah. Yeah. Functionally a bean. Yeah. Perhaps a legume.

I don't know what the designation is exactly. I think you're right. But it's like, you know, I think that's the idea is that some people say like, oh, you get all this fiber, but other people are like, ah, you're getting so many carbs. It's hummus though. It's delicious. Me too.

Hummus is great. I feel like, God, it's in the right area of being good for you. It's close enough. For God's sake. It's close enough. Where do you rank? You can't just eat lettuce and chicken. What?

I was going to say nutritional value aside, where do you rank hummus in the dip hierarchy? Unfortunately, in that category, I would put it kind of lower. Oh, wow. Really? I mean, if you're talking about like the joy of a dip, like an artichoke. Your pack is going to be listening to this crying.

I think you'll side with me. I don't know. Really? I think, I mean, the very best hummus compared to like a cheesy, gooey, stringy, like really savory dip. Yeah. That's fair. I mean, we're, that's, sorry.

That's true. Like, have you got like a queso or cheese? Yeah. Like, I mean, if we're going for just like straight up flavor, I think hummus is like light and refreshing and like, especially on like a hot day, it's a nice like thing to be able to eat. Because a lot of times it's like hard to eat in the heat,

it's like something you eat and you're like, wow, you know, it feels to me like a good, healthy alter. You know what it is? It's like the glue. I like it. Like it's a good. So it's like a food glue. Like if I'm eating Mediterranean food, I got the pita and a little

piece of chicken. I dip it into the hummus. I eat it all together. It gives you a little to do. Yeah. Like we had our little pita points and it's something and it's, and it seems more healthy than mayo or, I mean, even though it's not that bad.

Don't tip your pita and pita and mayo. That sounds okay to me. Of course it does. You eat a, you ate a spoonful of mayo famously. I don't do that anymore. But I feel like you could pull a little bit. I mean, that's just like mayo on bread, right? That's true.

You don't do anymore because like, you know, it's not good to do anymore. Like if I was like here, yeah, you would do it. I mean, I do it for the podcast. That's like my friend shanked in at weddings. I'd be like here, eat this thing of butter and then I would pay him money and then eventually I was like, he likes eating butter, right?

Like I'm paying this guy money to you because he, and he likes eating the little piece of butter. Yeah. It makes you so much more unusual. That you're paying actual money. I was paying a guy who likes butter, who's getting to eat butter and get paid. It was funny.

He was gross. He would eat like a, I gave his best band speech, shanked in his best man speech and I, and I referenced the fact that he, he ate, you know, he would take a, he would do a shot of tequila and then he would, he wouldn't just bite into the lime. He'd eat the whole thing.

He would eat it right. I told this at his wedding. I told this at his wedding. He'd eat it rind and all. Isn't that, isn't that really weird? Isn't that fucking strange? That's truly odd. There you go.

Do you think there's anyone out there who does that? Well, there's one guy. Sounds like. There's shanked in, but why? What's a good hashtag for that? If you eat rind and all. Hey, if you eat rind and all hashtag be kind, eat rind.

That was actually very good. It was really good. Nick, what were you going to say? What were, what were, oh. You were asking me why I picked off. Yes. Oh yeah. There it is.

Well, I picked off these because I am a huge fan of it. It's very near my work, but I had found it actually because it's very, the original one I went to is by my parents house. Okay. They retired here from the Bay Area three years ago to Pasadena and it's like an area I don't really know. And so like since they've lived there,

I've just had to like explore and learn it. Right. And so I truly just wandered in, but I love Greek food and I'm very dubious. I think of most places that are trying to do like fast, healthy. Like I think for the most part, like I would love to know what you guys think,

but I think for the most part, like fast, healthy doesn't really exist. And when it does, it's not done very well. And it's like, I have not, to me there aren't very many that ever come to mind. Like I think we all used to maybe think for a second, Subway was that or whatever that idea was. Of like a place that if you're really rushed,

you can get like something that's not horrible. Right. You can do healthy at Subway. I mean, no matter what you're going to, you're going to fill up on a lot of cars. That's the thing. So to me,

I think especially because I tried to not, I'm not a huge cargo head. Right. I love them, but they're, Oh, I love them, but it's like in my adult life, I've been trying very hard to not, and it's hard. We like, it is truly, truly very hard.

And so Daphne's, I was just like very taken with how healthy, has all the calories on the menu. And it's, I honestly was expecting it to be like very mediocre because it's not expensive and it's fast, essentially. And I was floored by how good it was.

And so I just became really obsessed with it and started to like find if they were near me and like has like a little mix and match menu, which I'm always a fan of like customizable, but you can, it also feels like a place you can sit and have a meal and you don't just feel like you're like, shoveling something in your face to like check a box

and move on with your day. I think it's like truly very good. It's not an overwhelming amount of customizability either. It's just, it's like, there's just like, you know, that, that plate is very, it's just you're basically picking two proteins that you'd have alongside some standard sides in a Greek salad.

Totally. So it's, it's not like a thing where just like, ah, fuck. Sometimes those customizability places, it's just, there's so many decisions to make and then I just feel like, It's a kind of small menu for the best part. It's not that big.

And I think as someone who I eat, I love Greek food and I love to go to like, I feel like Greek tends to be more of like a real sit down affair, you know, it feels right to have like the big lemony soup and all the kebabs. And so to me, it's surprising how well it like translates

to a kind of like faster food version. I think, I think you, you made a lot of great points. It translates great. And also healthy fast food is so tricky. It just is. Right. And I told you today,

well, I mentioned a restaurant. I had, I tell the truth. 1pm. Cause we ate at about 545. It was supposed to be 530. Nick, I was, I was 10 minutes late at traffic.

I'd say we ate at six. We ate at close to six traffic. Jess had a lovely conversation. I wasn't, I think I would came in at 538. No, you did. I know that is a, maybe 12,

maybe I was 12 minutes late. All right. It was not that big a deal. 8 to 12 minutes late. It's fine. LA is fucking hard with traffic. It's just funny that two out of three got there though. All in cars.

I can't imagine. No, but no, to him, this is, my beef is with him, Jess. Okay. I'll stand back. This wasn't one of my, like this wasn't like a big fuck up for God's sake.

It was fine. I didn't say it was, it wasn't that big a deal. I just, I was pointing out. You brought up that you were late. You said, eating at 545.

And I just said we were supposed to be 530. Yes. I get that we were, look, it wouldn't have been 530 anyways. You asshole. What a trigger. Piece of shit.

You know, there's a very easy solve for this problem. Like fucking make him drown in hummus. Yeah, that was it. No, arrive to things. You know,

I'm better at this stuff. Listen, Nick, fuck you. First of all, second of all, what were we talking about? Um,

you were agreeing with me about the idea of fast food. Yes. Fast healthy. I went to, I went to the sidewalk grill. Oh yes. Yes. My lunch was,

was met, basically Mediterranean food. You knew we were having Greek food for dinner because this was scheduled. And you went and ate, but I'm not sad about that. No, it's, that's how much you love it.

I think it's great. It makes me really happy. I walked down to the sidewalk grill with commissioner, and we, please, we, I got myself a Sam, the salmon kebab and I,

and I subbed out rice for salad. Smart. And, and I got some hummus and, and, and I, the tomato soup, which is very,

the tomato soup is so good there. I love that place. And, and how many forks would you give this Mitch? The, the meal? Yeah. Five forks.

Wow. Mitch, great job. You reviewed the wrong restaurant. Yeah. Oh no. Well, we're definitely fighting at some point.

At some point. No, I mean fist fighting. Oh fist fighting. Okay. I tell you what, let's go to break. We'll put up our dukes.

Come back. The, the last one standing will continue the pie. All right, that's fair. Hey Mitch, what do you think of when you hear Casper? I'm frightened of course.

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not the ghost, is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms, and passing that savings directly to the consumer. Hell yeah, Nick. And you know what? It'll be very comfortable to sleep upon a ghost,

wouldn't it? Oh, I don't know. It might be scary. It'll be terrifying, unless it was a friendly ghost. Yeah, or that was that, that ghost that sucks Dan Aykroyd's dick in Ghostbusters.

That ghost is all right. You want to sleep on that ghost as it sucks Dan Aykroyd's dick? Yeah, I wouldn't be in that specific scenario, because I could take out my phone and film that for big bucks from TMZ. Hell yeah. You know,

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Get $350 toward any mattress purchased by visiting Casper.com slash Doughboys using promo code Doughboys. That's Casper.com slash Doughboys using promo code Doughboys. Terms and conditions apply. Nick, you're going to be sleeping like a king. Or a ghost king. Who's the ghost king? Henry VIII.

Yeah, you're going to be sleeping like Henry VIII. Hey, man. But you know what? Henry VIII's mattress probably sucked because it was way back in the day. Right. And he was a big dude. Yeah.

He was probably smaller than me. We're back. We went to fight each other and then we just started kissing each other and just had to break us up. Yeah, I was jealous. Everybody had someone but me. But some tension got resolved. You guys are so flushed.

We're both flushing now. Your lips are raw. Let's talk Daphne's a little bit more. Okay. So we go today. We got a few different items. I ordered a few different small plates for us to test it. And we can just sort of talk through these.

Yeah. One thing, the Sampler Trio, which is fire feta, hummus and avocado dip. So their fire feta is like a, I mean, it is just kind of like a, it is like a hummus with a little feta in it. And it's just like very, it's got some added. It's like spicy kind of, right? Yeah.

I don't know what the fire, I guess it's just red peppers. Yeah. And then the hummus is very standard, but good. Well executed. And the avocado dip is kind of like a, it's just like a less interesting guacamole. Yeah. That was a funny choice to just have it be like essentially guac.

Right. Yeah. No, it didn't seem like a mix or anything like that at all. Yeah. And then you get the, you get with that, you get some warm pita, some multigrain pita chips and some cucumbers. I like having them cucumbers to dip in things.

Yeah. Me too. Yeah. It's just kind of like a funny mix. I feel like of dips. Like it felt like each one was supposed to go with a different. Right. Dip.

Yeah. Like a dipper, like they weren't matched up, right? Or something. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. You had to solve the puzzle. What would you say was your favorite of those next?

I mean, I like, I think I honestly would just go with that straight up hummus. Cause the thing with the avocado dip is it was kind of like, it was like guac, but it was kind of like just like a worse guac. It was like a less, like it was like a less seasoned guacamole, just kind of a milder, smoother version. And then the fire feta, it's fine, but I don't know.

I feel like the, I like spice. I like a little heat, but I don't know if the, if heat was, heat was the best combination with in this context. I agree. We had discussed previously. I'm not a huge spice head. Right. But I thought it was a, so I know that my like metrics are off.

Like I think what's spicy to me is not always for other people. Right. But I thought it was just like, was a bit powerful for like, if you're in like the hummusy zone, that's not really when you're expecting to get like blasted. I feel like with a bunch of major intense heat. Yeah. We got to address what's been going on over here.

What is happening? What are you doing? I was trying to do it without interrupting the show. The auxiliary coordinate that is plugged in for you is crackling. Yeah. It does a little, it's doing a little crackle. And so, and so I was, I was going to asking which, which button turns it down so that I didn't have to interrupt.

Right. While you're, while you, while it was happening. Okay. It's still happening right now. We're still getting a little bit of that crackle. But so if you turn it down, I can turn it up when we need it. That's all. You can turn it down and then I can turn it down.

That's what I was trying to figure out. Okay. Great. But then you had to call me out about it. No, but I was just saying like, we were clearly, we were trying to. One more time from your computer. Yeah.

Okay. Hold on. Wait, hold on. I thought I mixed it and then plug it back in. There we go. Okay. I think we should leave all this in by the way. Wait.

Do you want me to, do you want me to play something from the computer? Okay. Hold on. Hold on. I was trying to handle it. I thought I was doing a real good job. I think it was more that it was visibly distracting me.

Yes. Nick was going, was aware that I was like, what is this? Did I do something wrong? Are you going to ask me to leave? Jess, we were snapping to push you out the door. You're out. Okay. I'll pause this.

Sure. All right. Dustin is. Dustin is listening in. I still hear a little bit of the crackling. I can't hear it. But we can just turn that down for now, right? And then turn it up later when I have to play a cue.

What you'll do is you'll leave it up for now. Okay. Then I'll come over and plug it. And then in post, I'll cut out that part. Okay. So sorry about that. Wait, so you won't be able to hear the crackling or? In post, no.

I will take care of it. Okay. It's old timey like your newsreels that you love so much. But your issue is that you're the crackling now is distracting. Is that your problem? I thought it was, no. Can I hear your headphones? And now I feel like I can't hear it anymore.

I can still hear it. But here's my question. Can we just turn down that knob for now? And then Mitch can turn it up later? Like just like see what level it's at. And then if you just turn it all the way down. And then turn it up to three. Okay.

Yeah. I know what you're talking about. And I will make sure it's taken care of in post. Okay. Okay. Great. Great. This will be fine.

Just wave at me when you need it. All resolved. So all right, we're back on track here. The sampler trio. But I don't know, Mitch. Did you have a standard favorite from that, that sampler trio? Want me to be honest with you? Yeah.

The hummus. Yeah. We all like the hummus. Yeah. I mean like the fire, the, the, the guac one was too off putting like you guys were saying. Right. And then the, the, the fiery one was okay.

I just feel like I've had a better version of that fiery. Yeah. There's this place. I live next to you. Yeah. You live very close to Cuba. Remember when their sign originally had like a few things listed as their menu? And one was window pizza.

Everybody's like, wait, what is window? What is window pizza? Then they just got the sign. We never got to find out. Anyway, sorry. Go ahead. No, no, no, that, that, that, that they actually have a good spicy feta. It's a matter of training in place.

Yes. It's the most because I've seen it before. It's the most off putting name for a restaurant. But it's terrible name. It sounds like Hubert. Yeah. Which, who is a great creature, but it's not, uh, and is very funny in the movie pixels. He is the best part of pixels.

He's very funny. Josh. God fucks him. Josh. God does fuck. Here's the thing. I never saw fish. Hubert transforms into like this, like beautiful, sexy video game, sexy video game babe that

like Gad has always liked. And then they like get married and then they like have sex. They, they, isn't pixels a kids movie? Yeah. I mean, they, they don't show it. Not really. It's like P. It's like a PG 13. Yeah.

But we're not saying penetration or anything. They're just like, of course. You don't see penetration. Of course not. Jesus. I'm glad. I needed to know. Here's a guarantee.

You don't see Hubert's pussy. You don't see fucking pixels. Finally exhale. Fucking insane. But, but he is, but she transforms into this like beautiful video game, babe. And then he, and then he, they, they consummate their marriage and they have birth and they have little Cuba babies. Yeah.

It doesn't make sense. Well, like she still was a cute, like the spider outward appearance. She's still in the genetics of a Cuba. She still was a Cuba, which it, it, it doesn't really add up, but anyways, Cuba sounds like Cuba is, is essentially the bat that's like a terrible name for what is essentially Tzatziki because it's cucumber yogurt. Okay. It is their debt, which is cucumber yogurt, which is right.

They're proud of, they're very proud of the Cougar, but they, but they have good, they have a good federal. And I love Feta. I'm a big Feta. I'm a Feta. I'm a Feta fanatic. And I, and a Feta. Oh, Feta.

I tried and I gave up real quick. Fetatic. Fetatic. Sounds like you're sick. Mitch, you're a Feta file. If you were a Feta file, tweet us hashtag Feta file. And if you're not a Feta file, what's a good, what's a good hashtag for that? 18 plus.

On both of those also just at reply the FBI. Feta file or hashtag 18 plus. I, I, I'm a big Feta fan and they, they have a good Feta bit, but this, this one wasn't, but also like, I didn't, it didn't bug me. You know what I mean? Like it was fine. It was fine. It was all good.

I think it was just not like, yeah, not nothing really super stand out. It didn't warrant me adding that, like ordering that trio again. You shouldn't have to order the trio. Right. You should just get standard hummus. You're going to be all right. Just honestly, get rid of the, get rid of the guac one. Yeah.

They don't need that. Hey, speaking of Feta, we had a little spanacopita. Milo Delfill with spinach and Feta. Just how do you feel about spanacopita and the abstract? In the abstract. Yeah. Just in general. Oh, I love it.

I think it's like, I think it's that like encapsulation of a kind of food that like we don't have as much in like Western cuisine. Right. This combination of like, um, that idea of kind of like little flaky. Like pastry and savory. The layers of dough are really appealing. The way that like, like a crispy little, those like flaky pastry plus the spinach and cheese, like that's just sort of like a texture combo that you don't find.

There's not really a lot of versions of that. So spanacopita to me is like, it's, it's rich. And it's like kind of, I don't feel like you can do a ton of it or it's like what you're doing. Uh, but I think it's so good. Is that how you say it with the long O? I've been saying it capita this whole time. I don't know.

I just have been, I say it like that, but I have no idea. I mean, I guess I am married to a Greek. There is that. Yeah. Well, if that's how he says it, I'll trust Calpacus. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I actually don't know both. Cause I think I've been saying, I said it like you do, but I think I might be wrong. Well, what do we think of this execution? I like it by the way too. Yeah. I thought the Daphne's spanacopita, I thought it was really nice. Yeah. I thought it was real good.

It was piping hot. Really warm, really flaky, like literally little flakes coming off. Like I thought it was really delicate and that's exactly the kind of thing. To the, to the point of a kind of like fast help. I mean, spanacopita is not the healthiest thing on that menu. Sure. But it still, it comes out fast and it was like, that to me seems like something that would normally come out fast and be like soggy.

Right. It was impressive. It was good. It was like crunchy, but also kind of like gooey and like a nice mix. I thought it was really good. Is there no other Greek fast food restaurant? Not that I know of. That's why I flipped out about Daphne's.

That's what I'm telling you in my, like when I stopped at my parents house, I was like, Oh, like I have never seen one. And so I was, and I expected it to be bad and then have been just floored by the fact that it's not. I agree. I can't believe that there's not more places like this. And I'll tell you to go onto a new subject, what they do really well. And it comes on basically all these mix and match place, but they have a nice Greek salad.

The salad is very well done. I feel like, right, that can be the cheapest tasting thing, but they got a good dressing. The dressing is a good Greek salad dressing and it's got the you got a little bit of feta in there. You got tomatoes and onions, Colomado olives. Yeah, it's it's it's a cucumber. It's a very it's a well done Greek salad. I know it's right.

It is still cheaper. There's a fly, by the way, in my apartment, which is driving me nuts right now. Getting hungry. I'm not a fucking frog man. Okay. You think I'm a toad? If I go in your bedroom, is it going to be a big lily pad? Be honest with me.

There might be a giant lily pad. You and your cats on a big lily pad. But I won't even go in there. There's gators in there too. What? Okay. There's plenty of gators. They swim under the lilies.

Anyways. They got so sexy. Oh boy. They swim under those lilies. Okay. I was trying to do a country. Like a bayou guy. I thought you were doing like a crocodile hunter.

No. I didn't know. Sorry. I'm bad at this stuff. I speak Mitch sometimes like with the reed, you know, but then sometimes I don't. It comes and goes. You know what? If I was a fraud, Kermit is one of the greatest characters there ever was right

up there with Stone Cold Steve Austin in your book. And Kermit is if you put a if there was a Mount Rushmore of characters. I put Stone Cold up there. I put Kermit right next to him. That's the only time they've ever been next to each other for anything. What else you got up there Mario Mario's up there. Okay Mario Kermit Stone Cold. Who else Pip from Great Expectations?

No, not Pip. Pip sucks. Have a shame. It does suck. Is that great expectations? No. No. Doesn't she burn like the house?

Spoiler. Sorry. This is my last character. The last one up there is someone from Star Wars. Ooh, that's good. Jar Jar being. It should be Jar Jar. When did you have a favorite like superhero or something?

You're talking about earlier. Monster. I wouldn't put a superhero up there. I don't know. I want people I want people's help on my last my last favorite character. But you got those three locked in. Steve Austin, Kermit and Mario. You're not budget.

All three of those are staying up there. Okay. I was thinking of maybe a bug from Starship Troopers. A bug. One of those big bugs. One of the big bugs from Starship Troopers. Not quite as iconic. I was going to say none of those guys will know who that bug is.

Who's on your mode character more? Hmm. Good question. Maybe I would put Cartman up there. I was thinking of South Park character. Oh, you know what that does? I probably would put like Homer Simpson on my Mount character more. Oh, you know what?

To me, Homer and Bart together. That's the combo right there. Both of them? Them to get. Two of them. When they're having fun together, there's nothing funnier on the Simpsons. Those two are having fun. They're so funny together.

Interesting that you'd exclude all the Simpsons women. Wow. Wow. Interesting, Nick. Nancy Cartwright voices Bart Simpson. A lady. Oh my God. How do you feel about that, Nick?

You know what, Mitch? I'm married to a lady. Oh, he got you good. Yeah, I know. Natalie you're talking about. Yeah. Oh, what was it? What was it?

Wasn't there a Natalie special? Oh, that was our. That was our last episode. We never mentioned it. Yeah. There was a Natalie special, but we didn't get it because it didn't have chicken. That's right. Oh, Roscoe.

I told Natalie. Natalie wouldn't appreciate it either because she likes chicken so much. All right. Right. That's fun. We should we get that renamed. Look, we're on topic. Yes.

We're talking what characters we put on a brush for. Yes. And then we're going to get into our fucking food. All right. Here's what I'm going to say. Homer Simpson. Darth Vader. Okay.

I like this. I like it a lot so far. Hold on. Hold on. I feel like I got to do. I'm going to say. I'm going to say Sephiroth. Who's that?

What? Oh, my God. And then I'm also going to say Batman. Just what about what about you? You're about character. Yeah, Nick. It looks like none of your characters are ladies. Oh, my God.

Oh, shit. I got. Okay. Wait, hold on. Let me let me redo this idiot. Let's see. Agatha Christie. Let me guess.

Batgirl. Yeah. March. And toadette. Toadette. What is it? What is it? What is it?

What's her name from Force Awakens? The Ray? No, the female Yoda. Oh, Yaddle. No, not Yaddle. Well, that is funny, though. The woman with the goggles from Force Awakens. Oh, I know you're talking about.

Oh, the. Is that like Lupita Nyong'a did the voiceover? Yes. What's her name? Wow. What a great movie it is. Nicky can't remember the name of the glasses lady. Right.

I know you're talking about. Oh, tell me what her name is then without looking it up. Mrs. Incarplette. It is not Mrs. Plutt. I think she, no, she's married to her. Oh, sure. She was. It's a deleted scene.

Jess, what's your, what's your moan character more? So this is the way this works. I like that you don't like it. So what? Like from my youth? From now, what are your three favorite characters of all time? Well, I guess you could count Sasha Fierce as one. It's a character that Beyonce is creating.

Okay. That's good. Right. This is hard. Sorry guys. No, don't have them loaded. This is, this is tough. This is a tough one.

This is a challenge. Probably from my youth, I would say like Jim from Jim and the hologram. That's very cool. This is good. Just like a cool character. Angela for my so-called life. Okay.

That's great. That is great. I think that's, I think this is a pretty good comp. And also it, it, it, it evens out her male character. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see.

This is hard. I've never seen my so, my so-called life. What was it? What was it? But it was like just like coming of age high school. Yes. Yes. With Claire Danes.

MTV show. And it wasn't MTV. It was network. It was ABC. Really? Yeah. It was ABC. It was very short lived.

It was an MTV show in my head. They showed reruns on MTV. Yes. That was why. That was why. No, I was so sad when it was canceled that I wrote like handwritten letters. I was like 12 or 13. And I wrote handwritten letters.

I was like in a letter writing phase. I like it. I like the idea of an executive getting that and being like, guys, we missed. This is sad. Oh God. This is just like a bitch has lost it. Mrs. Havisham can take your last spot. Yeah.

Let's put her in there. I'll brainstorm and I'll come up with some art. All right. I'll go with the shoulder because I thought of her so let's use it. I got the classic Greek salad as my entree. That's right. With a little Euro meat on there. And let me tell you the dressing was really good.

The Greek dressing. Here's the only disappointment I have. I like all the individual components. I like that Euro meat they have there. The greens, a little too much iceberg. I know, but come on. I would you prefer. I just give me like some green leaf.

Give me some like mesclin greens. Give me some. Give me some romaine. I'm going to go. Yeah. For me. I don't like bummed. I don't like mixed greens.

I don't like mesclin. I want a big pile of iceberg. That's probably almost the root of maybe why I like Daphne so much. And I've never thought about it. Here's what I will say is that yes, it's iceberg, but it's like it's tasty. It's not like if you went to Subway and got like the stringy iceberg. Right. It's not the cheapest stuff that you can buy.

But iceberg in general is just such a nothing lettuce. There's no nutritional value. It's like give me something with a little bit of a little bit more fibrous, something with a little bit more taste and texture to it. I get that. I get that. It works. I think the salad works well.

I think, I think, I think it's so crazy. You've had so many bad side salads that are so cheap. This one tastes good as an entree salad. I feel like when you're just like, I got, I got bored at one point because I was like, there's just, I'm just getting so much iceberg in here. I think that it is boring. It's boring because I, what I normally get there that I did not get is they have a steak salad.

Right. And, you know, in trying to, even though they have so much fun stuff that's like, if, because it's, like I said, it's near my work, so I will go for lunch. And in trying to, you know, not overdo it in the middle of the day, get that steak salad. And I kind of like half the time, we'll just like eat all the steak and then kind of like a few forkfuls of lettuce, but not really, it's not really, they don't combine that well, I guess, you know, That's fair.

And this is the tricky thing with having a healthy restaurant. Yes. That, that like, you're going to go to tender greens and get what you want, Nick. You're not going to get it at Daphne's. That's fair. I just don't, I just don't, I don't, I don't think you're coming for that. You know what I mean? Like it's a combination.

You got a little taste of the salad and then you eat some meat and a little bit of rice. Yeah. I think the plate is better than getting an entree salad, but I would say like, you know, as someone who was like, Oh, I feel like a salad right now. I was just like, yeah, I wish that was a little bit more, I would say a little bit more to it. Let's talk through your guys's entrees. I did a mix and match.

So they have these couple of different mix and match and I've tried a bunch of them. They have like, you can get Euro. It's basically like you can get the rice, you get a little salad and then you mix and match your kind of proteins. If you want them. So they have like falafel, crispy shrimp, grilled shrimp, Euro meat, steak meat. I did a chicken kebab. I did Euro meat and chicken kebab.

And I thought it was very good. I haven't gotten that combo in a while. I don't usually do the Euro because it's kind of a splurge. Right. I also, as a real treat, I got, they have this lemon chicken soup. I think it's chicken or maybe it's just lemon soup, which is like kind of, I mean, there's an actual name for that soup. It's like a Greek soup.

They don't call it that. They just call it like their lemon soup, but it has like a little Greeky name. And if you go to like a Greek sit down restaurant, that's like the Greek soup. Right. And so that's one of the things I think they do so, so well, like it's a little salty because it's, you know, it's like a bit faster, but I think it's really good. It's like kind of thick and that's very like how it's supposed to be. Like when you go to a sit down Greek restaurant, you're going to get it there.

So I got that and I thought it was really good and it's fun to like dip the little pitas in. It's good, dippy. Yeah. You gave us some dips and that, that, that soup was good for, you don't have to commit to it if you just want a few dips of it. You let us dip in there and it was, and it was good. I'll say this Mitch dipped with his whole hand, which was weird.

Yeah. You slurped. You let us dip and it was very good. I will say this. It could have been a little warmer today. It was, it could have been a little bit. I don't know if you want that. I don't also don't think you want that soup like steaming hot.

Yeah. But like it was a little cold to you. It just could have been a little bit warmer. It wasn't like it was cold. It just could have been a, it could have been a notch warm. Right. Yeah. But it was still, it was still good.

Yeah. I did a mix and match plate as well. Yeah. And I almost got, I almost got the same exact order. I didn't hear you order and I almost got the same exact thing. Mitch, you copied me. I did. And I was like, oh, and I didn't want to do that.

So I, and I've, and I've had the Euro before. So I went with chicken kebab and I got steak kebab, which they said took an extra 10 minutes, but it seemed to come out just in time. Yeah. It was pretty quick. I think they just like to say that, be so that like annoyed people,

cause they say have said that every time. And to me like they've, they're always like, it's like maybe 10 minutes. Like I think they just don't want people coming up and being like, I have to go cause it is like a fast foodish place. Yeah. Yeah. And it seemed to be, it seemed to come, come right out.

I feel like with the kebabs, you know, you don't get a ton of meat is if there's a complaint, like it's, they're kind of a small ish, but the, there's grilled peppers on there. And then there's the chicken and grilled onions. And I think it's probably because they have the, that calorie count up there too. I bet you that's like part of, I mean,

it's also just less product for them. But like if you keep it small, it's like you're going to keep the calorie below 500 or whatever. It's very low. It's like a hundred and like each kebab is like a hundred and 30 or something really low. Right. And they're good.

They're both, they were both very good. And the, and the Euro is like, is like 400 or something. It's, it's, it's up there. It's, it's more. Yeah. It's like the heavy, one of the heavier parts of the menu. Yeah. And it's great.

And it makes sense because it is, it is, it's very good, but those kebabs are really good. And I would wrap them. I think they do a great job with that pita. I think that pita is like, pita is so like fluffy and it's like a, you can kind of anything that's like you can, it's like glutiny in the good way where it's like a little oof.

And I feel like they, like it's so small, right? That like you can eat like a few pieces of it and get away and not be, not be too bad. Yeah. And so I was, I was dipping that in some hummus and, and then they give you the tahini, right? Or is that? Tzatziki.

Tzatziki. And that, and the, what are you, are you a tzatziki or a tahini fan? What do you like better? Wait, which one's tahini? Tahini is a creamier one, right? It's a creamier one, right? It's more like beige looking.

And it's, it's like, I think it's sesame seed paste. Which one's the one that's got the eggplants? That is Baba Ganoush. Oh, Baba Ganoush, right? I'm that one. Oh, okay. I like the Baba Ganoush one.

I'm that one. I think, I think tahini is maybe my favorite, but they, Oh, interesting. But they do a great tzatziki here too. It's good. I, yeah. Tzatziki is probably my favorite dip in the world.

Oh, wow. That's what I would actually probably put above everything. So you, you probably would like the cute, you like the Cugart dip because it's similar to. Yeah, probably. I think I do like, in fact, I have had that Cugart dip many times and theirs is so good. It's really fluffy.

It's like a weird consistency that I've never found anywhere else. It's just very, everything at Cugart is very salty. Yeah. Like it'll taste great. And then 20 minutes later, you'll be like, and feel like dust fly out of your mouth.

Like it's so salty, but it tastes great. Yeah. It's also just awkward eating there because security is trying to keep horny Gad out of the premises. They don't want to see any penetration. So stay away from it. Let's get to our final thoughts on Daphne's.

So just as how this will work, we'll go around. We'll each sort of give our closing argument on this chain and then give it a rating from one to five forks. You're our guest. We will start with you. My feeling is that Daphne's really delivers. I thought it delivered today. There's obviously room for improvement, I think,

but I would say on the whole for that tier of food, which is a true rarity in my book, I think it is, I would say exceptional in the sense of like being able to walk away and feel like you had something that was not just bland and boring. Right. And yeah. And but you can also, I think,

not get super bored super quickly. Right. So out of five, I'm going to go four. Wow. Very solid score. That's a great score. Go ahead, Mitch. I agree.

Daphne's scratch is an itch of it's a healthy, it's a healthy-ish food chain. Yeah. It definitely is cheaper and like it's, it's like it is, it feels a little bit cheaper than, than like, than like a Mendocino farms or a couple other places.

And I don't think it's trying to hide that. Like I think it is, it is a place that is trying to be a fast food, like healthy option fast food place that is, that is basically along the lines of like, maybe a small tier above subway or something. Right. Even comparing it to like a national chain that people

might be, might find more accessible. I'd say it's like, you know, it's like a little slight tier below like a Panera. You know what I mean? That's very fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Totally. It's more like a Chipotle tier. I think that's exactly where it is. And that it's also kind of in that limited menu way too. Right. Right. But I, I enjoy it. I love Greek food.

I think they do a good job. I was going to say the rice, we had a rice comes with that mix and match place. The rice is good. Yeah. The pita is very good and special. You can, if you do, if you order right and you can, you can have a healthiest meal there.

I also got a Diet Coke and there was a flavor, there was flavor blasters. You went to go make a hack. I was, I went and there was a cherry flavor blaster and I put two cherry flavor blasts in and it was way too much flavor blasts. In your Diet Coke. In my Diet Coke.

I feel like you were making a Diet Cherry Coke. I was making a Diet Cherry Coke. And because of the two flavor blasts, it was probably like more calories than a regular Coke. Yeah. Because it was such like sludge, sludge just fell out of that machine. But if you do one shot of that cherry,

cherry blast flavor blast, it's probably pretty good there. And that was fun. Nick, you got to admit they had some good drink options. I got a, I got a vanilla blast all over my hand. Oh, so maybe this machine was just screwy. Are you sure that was vanilla blasts? That was all over your hand. Look, the machine was labeled in a way where I thought that

you were pressing it to toggle the vanilla thing on the Coke dispenser, but that actually would just, it just shot the vanilla out. So it got all over my hand. You did the same. No, I did it right. I did the right thing. Oh, you, but I thought you were saying you did too when you

didn't meet. Oh, you meant to do too. Yes, I meant to do too. I thought you were trying to do. Oh, you just did it badly. I did it badly. I understood it. Did it badly.

Nick did it badly. Didn't understand it. I see. Okay. Weird from coming from a robot that should, you should understand this sort of thing. You're brethren. But there was a couple of fun other drinks too.

Some, some iced teas there, but the one thing that we didn't touch on was the dessert, which I think you guys had an idea of. Oh, you didn't try it? I didn't try it, but yeah, it looks good. It was fabulous. It was good. Yeah.

I thought it was like, again, like it's, you know, it's a super sweet dessert. It's like a pretty powerfully sweet dessert. Super sweet. So you kind of like, I think it's hard to like get a lot of different flavor, but it was like crispy and great. And great. I think they do a lot of things really well here.

I think it's hard to be mean to this restaurant. I think the options are maybe would bring it down a little like, cause I'm going to give it a good score here. But I, but I think the option, like you, you are restricted in your options. I think that there's not like a ton of different stuff, but there's enough like you said, just to, to keep it interesting.

I love Greek food. I think that this is, I think this concept, they are doing what they want to do. I think that I think they do a good job with it. I'm going for forks next. Wow. Cool. It's on.

Let's see what you think. Daphne's does a very good job of what they're trying to do. It is very, in terms of a fast casual Greek chain, it does what it should be doing. Here's the thing. I'm not excited to eat there. There's not like, I Daphne's is like a fine lunch option. And I used to work at the office.

You're not excited to wake up in the morning. No, that's fair. But here's the thing. There are other places where I'd be a little bit more jacked if I had the opportunity to eat there. Forgot about being jacked. And Daphne's, I just, it doesn't get me jacked. I get it.

I feel like if you want to be in the golden plate club, you got to jack me up. And so like this is a fine, it's a fine lunch option. I used to work right by here. If we go to Daphne's, I'm like, yeah, I could do Daphne's, but it never blew me away. It didn't blow me away today. It was very solid.

Everything was good, nothing, nothing was just like mind blowing. And so for me, that puts it right in the three fork level. I'll go a little bit above. I'll give it a couple of times. I'll say three and a half forks. Okay. Very solid.

You're not knocking on the golden plate club's door. You're not quite getting in there just yet. That's very fair. Daphne's. I think that's reasonable. That's, I think that's ridiculous, Nick. Well, it does what it's supposed to do. You should have given it the four forks.

You don't get four forks for doing your job. You don't get three forks for doing your job. You, you, you over did it because you worked at funny or die right on the corner. Right. You got a bunch, you got a fucking bunch of catered Daphne's. He spoiled bread. That wasn't it. That wasn't, it wasn't catered Daphne's.

We almost never got catered Daphne's. We almost never got catered. No, we didn't. Like we didn't. I had a, I've had a lot more meals eating at a Daphne's that I've had catered meals. That was actually a rare, like that was a rare thing that they would ever go there. They'd almost always go to Mendocino if they're going to get a catered meal. Here's, can I ask a question?

Cause I think this is an interesting question. By the way, we weren't getting catered meals all the time. Those only on shoot days. That was an infrequent thing. Sorry, Jesse. Funny or not. Fucked up. Oh my God, Mitch.

Right on their anniversary. Wow. You're going to end up in a crypt buddy. Oh God. No. Oh, I was just going to say, I think a lot about like the idea of, of Daphne's to me. And we were saying this, I think what's really fascinating is the question of like the tier it exists in.

Right. And so I agree with you in this idea of like, there's not a lot of like jazzy-ness to it. Right. But I also wonder like, is that when we think of like Chipotle or Mendocino, like I do we get excited? I gave Chipotle like five forks back in the day. You know what? But we have read Chipotle so early.

We actually read it with Hanford. Yeah. We have read Chipotle so early on and we gave it five forks all around. And I feel like there's no way I would give it five forks. I'm genuinely curious cause I think it's, I think it's fascinating that idea. Of like, it's, it's specific to the tier cause it's so close. Right. You know?

I would give Chipotle three and a half to four forks. Yeah. I don't think I'd give it five again. But I, but I, but I think that, but I think that that it does its job like Daphne's does. Like, like that is a place that I will eat and you can get healthy food too at Chipotle. And it's like, it's consistent and it is what it is. Like, like, uh, it does do its job. And, and, and, and like do, and that thing of doing its job is hard.

Like I, like you get three forks for doing your job. I don't even think that's the case cause I think a lot of places can't do the job. Interesting. But it, but whatever it's fine. I just was interested. I think it's like what's kind of very, I like thinking about this world and I'm happy that this place has succeeded because I think it's why there aren't that many of these, you know, cause it's like, it's so, it's a weird space. I'll tell you what it is. It's white collar.

Nick, why? That's not what I was saying. The blue collar working man's Daphne. I don't think that Daphne's is blue collar. What are you talking about? It's a workman like thing. We sat, we sat at six, seven. California fresh place.

It's just for the blue collar working man. It does its job. Were we nibbled on Spana Coupita? Yeah. It does its job. It comes to work every day. It does its job. It just wants to clock out and get home.

That's right. You and guy working at the steel mill all day long. He's, oh man, I can't wait to get some of that fire fed a trio simple platter. Whatever your white collar scumbag. You think you're blue collar? Yeah, baby. I mean, your collar is blue right now on the inside. My collar is literally blue.

Hey, you're an actor. Your dad was a lawyer. My dad became a lawyer later in life. He did not make money. He did not make big money early on. He made, he made, he made, he did not make big, he did not make big money early until until later on. He did.

And he did. He did do well, but he worked his way there. I was a garbage man. It's like a summer job. And guess what? I threw trash away. What did you do? I programmed for my summer job.

I worked in a book. I did do. I did have an internship where I worked at a computer company. I also worked. I worked at a bookstore. I worked at a warehouse. Yeah. I worked at a crepery.

Everyone had some, had some jobs where they just labored. Some people work, do that full time. And that's like, I had a love of movies, even as a blue collar boy. Oh, blue collar boy. Now, what are you doing? Quincy. Okay. We're granite.

We first, we first took granite from Quincy, Massachusetts. You know that, Nick? That's, you're talking about like the 18th century. You're not part of it. You're going back to colonial history. I brought some granite out of there too. Did you bring it here in your apartment? It's here.

I'll, I'll make a counter for all of you one day. This is over. This talk is over. Mitch, you, you, you do. You are a, wait, what was I trying to say? Never mind. Oh, I'm not the only one to drop. I was going to say something.

I was going to formulate something about you being blue collar, but actually having blue balls, but I realized I couldn't quite land because you are blue collar and you have blue ball. You don't set it up in the same way. That's part of, guess what? Our, our women aren't delivered to us. Why?

They're blue collar guys. You got to go out and find somebody instead of mom and dad setting you up on dates. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? You think I'm in an arranged marriage? Yeah. Do you think I'm in an arranged marriage?

I think so. We start with Tim, our friend. What do you think a white collar, like what do you think white collar is? Let's move on. Okay. That was our review of Daphne's. It's time for a regular segment.

This is going to get a little spicy. Me melt on fire. Me tongue on fire. Is it hot or not? Oh God. They see us tasting. Their mind is racing. Is it hot or not?

All right. Great. It's time for hot or not. That always ends very... Sharp drop. So we got a few different spicy chips. We did this for the first time. This is the only...

About a month ago. Yeah. I don't think I've actually heard it unfortunately. And Jess, you're not someone who, you're not a heat seeker at all. I am not a heat seeker. I actively tend to avoid it. Nick, you emailed us just when Nick bought all this stuff.

I get down. And you're being a great sport for doing this. Well, because we asked what allergies I had, and I said I don't have any allergies, but I don't like fish. You don't like fish? I don't like tomatoes. And I said...

Tomatoes is a big one. A lot of people don't like tomatoes. I really hate tomatoes. It took me a while to like tomatoes. And fish too, because I grew up in New England where you're supposed to like fish all day. And it took me a little while to... I like white fish, but it took me a while

to like all types of fish. I like fish in their crunchy grooves, buddy. God damn it. You never will listen to a fish song. Fish head over there. But I had said it, and then I just added it at the end. It was like a toss-off. Oh, so I don't like spicy stuff.

And then I get to... Then your email was like, well, we have a spicy situation going on. And then I copy out it. Oh, no, I like spice. It just hits me hard sometimes. So I just don't have it that often. So I have my water here.

I think this is going to work out okay, because we have all these jalapeno varieties of chips. And jalapeno... And one non-halapeno. And one non-halapeno. We'll get to it at the end. But we've got Lay's Kettle Cooked jalapeno.

And we'll just sort of pass these around and we can fight into them as well. Yeah, take me through it. So each of these we're going to rank on the level from hot, hot, hot, being the hottest, to not, not, not. So it could be not, not, or not. So what was the middle?

There's three knots. So it goes from three hots to one hot. One knot to three knots. Yes, right. It could be hot, hot, hot, or hot, hot, hot. Got it. What was the middle one? I don't know if we established a middle one.

Yeah, I think we did, but we forget it. I forget. We'll come up with something new. But okay, so we've got the Kettle Cooked jalapeno. We'll just sort of pass these around. Should I try them? Yeah, have as many as you need to just sort of get a sense of it

or as few as you need to. We've got some Pringles jalapeno. We've got some Fritos. This is a new flavor. The Fritos Spicy jalapeno flavored corn chips. And we've also got this brand called, Hey, how about that Tim's? Oh, we got Tim's jalapeno.

And these are, these have a little jalapeno that's on fire on them. And it says hot underneath it. This packaging is one of my favorites. It's over promising. I might have to set my chips down if that's okay. Yeah, feel free. I may not finish them all.

Actually, you want to nap them, there you go. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah, thank you. And I bought all these. And I bought these from the woman working the check stand. Notice that I was buying four different kinds of jalapeno chips. And she was like, oh, you like jalapenos, huh?

And I, you know, instead of saying, oh no, it's for a podcast segment, which would have just made things worse. I just was like, oh yeah, I like jalapenos. And she was like, she was like, yeah, I like jalapenos, but not really spicy enough for me. Wow. Yeah.

And I kind of felt like she was basically saying, like to me, you are not a man. She was like nagging you. Yeah, it was. It really was. Have fun, you pussy. In a Fisherman, or not Fisherman's Wharf, Canary Row in Monterey, you know,

sometimes in places like that, they have like novelty stores. Yeah. And they have one that was like all spice, like hot sauce store where you get to try all like, the crazy hot sauces. You know, you've seen those. And you like put them on a little chip and you try.

And in the front, they had like the nuclear warhead. And it was like in a whole like special case. And I had a sign that said, you know, if you could stomach it, that you won something, you know, like whatever, $100. So I asked the woman, I was like, so like how many, like what's it like? Do people do this?

And I'll like try it. And she's like, literally my job is cleaning up puke. Oh my God. She's like, people barf all day. That's horrifying. Isn't that insane? That's not a nightmare. She was miserable and she hated that I asked her,

but she was truthful. Those are always so crazy to me. You know, here's the thing. I do love hot stuff, but my, it gives me tummy aches now. Yeah. That's all I mean is that like, this is a very exciting sensation,

but like it's a lot. It's just a lot sensory wise. Right. So are you guys people who seek out like spicy stuff? Like would you buy this? Not anymore for me. I love, I do love hot foods. Nellie loves hot food, like super spicy foods.

I like hot foods, but I'm not like a, I'd say I'm not like on the dare level of like, I want to have like this to hottest stuff. Right, the ghost pepper. But I definitely need to feel a little bit heated, especially if I'm having like Thai food, Mexican food, Chinese food.

I just, I need a little bit of. That's how Tim is. Tim likes that thing of like crying. Yeah, I do like that. He likes his whole face like, like the full face effect of like crying and not being able to talk. Right.

When my nose is watering a little bit, like I kind of like that sensation. But yeah, I do agree with you. Like I'm going to end up with a case of the rumblies if I have a little too much spicy for sure. Oh God, of course you had to put it that way. Can you send those Tim's ones over here? That's the one I have left today.

How are you guys dealing with these so far? I'm doing okay. You're okay. I'm very proud of myself. I thought these were going to, I was going to have to be playing it much cooler than I am. I'm definitely sipping my water a lot. Right.

But they definitely, it's interesting, it's very interesting to see the different ways that they utilize the jalapeno. Yeah, I will definitely say, I will definitely say the Tim's Cascade Style Potato Chips. That's the one where it most tastes like an actual jalapeno. Like I'm really kind of getting

like that sort of pepper sensation. Interesting. And that's the one also like when it, like the powder touches my lips. You can really feel the burn. My lips are like very, yeah. Yeah, I feel like you, I'm getting some legit heat from Tim's.

The Pringles are a little neutered to me. I think they're just kind of like prudels. Pringles in general are just kind of like limp and, like not physically limp, flavor-wise they're kind of limp. It tastes just like sort of a big jumble of like their in-house powders. Yeah.

As opposed to like a specific flavor. It's tricky because jalapenos, I actually thought the Lay's were one of the spicier ones. I agree with you actually. I think the Lay's are the spiciest. I think the Lay's are the spiciest. They might be the spiciest. I think they might be the spiciest.

I agree. That's the one I couldn't finish, that I had to like fully set down and made my mouth like very hot-hot. Could you pass me those Pringles? Oh yeah, yeah. And then there's one more we got to eat. Yeah.

And I was just going to put a remark on the Fritos. I think the Fritos are good, but I don't think they're particularly spicy. No. I think that they're, this is the least, but then yeah, I think these are not so much.

Okay. And then we've got one more. So here's the thing. We bought some spring Oreos back in the spring. Yeah. It's now mid-August. We're closing it on fall. These expired on August 3rd.

They're okay to eat. They're okay to eat. Well, we assume they're okay to eat. However... How could you promise me you wouldn't know? However, Mitch and I were trying... That's fair. Mitch and I were wondering if once Oreos expire,

do they turn spicy? Do Oreos become spicy? So we're going to test that... You were wondering that? Yeah. We're going to test that hypothesis now with these spring Oreos. Which for people at home,

if you haven't seen what a spring Oreo, it's the same Oreo, but the inside is yellow. But then it has a careful note on the top that says same flavor. Yeah. So people don't get spooked, I guess. But will they be spicy?

Okay. How spicy would these spring Oreos be? I tell you, something made me sneeze just now. Maybe it's the spiciest of the spring Oreo. That was perfect timing, right? Okay. It kind of looks like eating a bee. It does look like eating a bee.

Yeah, it's a little bee. Oh, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. You know what, though? Yeah. They're lying. This does not taste like the regular filling. Yeah, I think there's something a little different. It's the food coloring.

You can taste it. I mean, it might just be because they're old. Or also because we just ate a pile of jalapeno chips. Right. They're still good. Uh-huh. They're great. Oreos are so good.

What a classic. Spring Oreos, not, not, not. Yep. Very non-hot. Whoa, hold on a second. What? I just wasn't sure if the spring Oreos are non-hot. Do we all agree on the ratings?

Is that what it is? Yeah, let's come to a consensus. Why not? At least. Yeah, I'm going to say not, not, not, not. Spring. Spring Oreos. You disagree at all, Mitch?

Spring Oreos, they're not, not, not. Yeah. Okay. I would say after that, the next step I would say is those Fritos. Oh, really? I would put Pringles behind. You think the Fritos are less, are less, are more spicy than the Pringles? No, but aren't we moving up from least spicy?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I think, yeah, sorry. So I think the Fritos are slightly more spicy than the Pringles. Oh, you do. Okay. Mitch, what do you think? I was, that was the one thing I was trying to figure out.

And I couldn't. Only because that's what I was saying. Like I think the other powder was like overpowering it so much. Right. It didn't, it didn't like hit my mouth as much. But it did have some spice to it, but I wouldn't even classify either of them as hot. Yeah. What's like our almost neutral zone?

Not. I think they're just straight up nots. Nots. Those two are nots. Okay, nots. Spring Oreos, not not not. Both those two are nots. Tied at nots.

Okay. I'd say the, I don't say, I think anything approaches hot, hot, hot. No. I think the Tim's are maybe a hot and the kettle cooks, the kettle cooked lays might be a hot, hot. I would put those kettle, to me, those kettle cooks are hot, hot. Those are very, those are hot to me. I would put the kettle cook lays at the bottom of hot, hot.

Yes. Yeah. That's fair. If you get a break it down and maybe just inches over to hot, hot. Okay. I mean, really we just need more rankings. Yeah. Because, because like if you just ate a straight up jalapeno, that's hotter than these kettle

cooked jalapeno chips. But as straight up jalapeno, there's lots of things spicier than just eating that. Yep. So I feel like we need, this is like a hot, hot minus. I agree with you. Yeah. It's hot, hot minus. Okay.

I think the heat is not so much like on the tongue, but the, the lays are like very much, I think because there is just a lot more on the chip. Right. Like the lips way more. It lingers for quite a bit. Here's where I think what happens with the Fritos and actually with the Tim's a little bit, which take the Tim's down. Fritos and Tim's both had salt, the salt overwhelmed the spiciness.

Yeah. That's true. Like with those, with those kettle cooked lays, not a salty tasting. Yeah. And you really got that. It's kind of, it's kind of a funny thing. Cause I think it is like with Fritos and Pringles, it's that thing that, that bind that they're in where they like have to still taste like their thing as opposed to just a chip.

Yeah. Like it still has to taste like Frito flavor. Right. Yeah. And Pringle flavor, even though I don't think that's what they should be doing. I agree. But they like are, they're, they have to adhere to their shape. I agree with that.

That said, what, what, what, I like all these. Yeah. Would you, would you consider all of them snacks? Yeah. I think I'd like any of them. You know what? Get the Pringles out of here. Not, no to the Pringles.

The Pringles aren't Pringles. I think the Pringles are the only ones that to me are a bust. Although the packaging, anything that has like an anthropomorphic thing of like relaxing like I have a lot of T shirts. I've started collecting T shirts that are like, that'll be for like the crab pot where it's like the sign is the picture of a crab, like relaxing in the, in the pot. And like when they have something like, or they have like sunglasses on, you see it a lot with barbecue restaurants too, which is really weird.

It's always like him enjoying his death. Yeah. It's always like the pig hanging out and wearing sunglasses. But on the Pringles, it has a chip hanging out on the beach with a jalapeno and an umbrella. And I like it. So basically they got, yeah, they hung out together. Yeah. That's how they got hot.

But I get, yeah. Oh yeah. This was a regular Pringle hanging out with a jalapeno. And then like they fucked. They fucked. The sun baked them together. Something weird happened. Yeah.

The Pringles, the Pringles, maybe I didn't even get rid of the Fritos, but I like to say the two chips were good. Yeah. The two potato chips. And the Oreos were good, but maybe we should have had them when they were fresh. They were like, we opened it up and they were like crumbling. They were like falling apart. It lost their structural integrity.

Yep. Like we shouldn't have left them on your table for like four months. But you know what? We're getting rid of them now. Well, thanks for letting me be a part of that. I ate two of them, which I didn't have to, but I ate two of them. And you songs got to finish the rest. That's a part of your job, you song.

He's giving a thumbs up. He's gone. Cool. That was hot, hot, hot or hot or not, rather, just like a restaurant. We've got your feedback. Let's have another feedback. Today's email comes to us from Nico Thiel. Nico writes, I grew up never wanting, excuse me, I grew up never drinking soda or other

carbonated drinks. And because of that, I can't stand carbonation to this day. I have never tried soda of any type in my life and recently tried to ease myself into carbonation because I wish I could drink carbonated drinks, but the bubbles were too big to handle. My question for you is, are there food drinks that you would wish you could have, but you cannot because there's something else holding you back, not including allergies. Also, do you have any advice for me or am I a lost cause? He's not.

I have a, I have a solution. Yeah. Straight out the gate, which is Topo Chico. Topo Chico. Have you guys ever had the water Topo Chico? Oh yeah, I have. It's like a Texas based bubbly water and it's like the most refined little bubbles. Oh wow.

They're so, it's incredible. It's like, and they've just expanded so you can find them at a lot of stores now. But it used to be this thing. I got very obsessed with it because they had it at that like home state, that like Texas restaurant. That's right. It used to be you could only get it at places like that, like, because it was like a Texas product.

Right. And now they expand it and so you can find it in a lot of places. And it's like, it's such a cool feeling because it's the tiniest little bubbles. There's like no carbonated, there's no sparkling water that has that, like quite that small. What is his exact problem? I was confused by this. He never had a carbonation. He doesn't like carbonation and he wants to, he feels like he's being left out.

The bubbles feel too big though when he like trying. Bubbles feel too big so he never drank soda growing up. Yeah. I would just say Nico, you don't gotta drink soda, man. Yeah, don't start. It's bad for you. It's bad for you. I'm trying to quit.

I love soda. That's like wanting to smoke. Yeah. To quit with your head. This is a blessing that you don't like soda. You know what I'm gonna say? I mean, we should review them, but Joe Mandy brought over a bunch of New York Seltzer sparkling waters.

Right. We should have done those. Those are great. And so my issue with LaCroix is that I drink them and I always feel thirsty when I'm done. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, it didn't quench my thirst. I think that the New York Seltzer sparkling waters are, I feel like there's less bubbles and I feel like it's a little less bubbly.

I think also not to overly plug Tobu Chico, it was first recommended to me as a hangover cure. Wow. Because it's so hydrating. I don't remember how well it worked or not, but my friend was like, it's my number one go-to for hangovers. I get to drink some Tobu Chico. It's so good.

It's like, oh, they have it at a Mixto, like a couple places out of them. Yeah. You can find them. Mixto is great. That's, I feel like, I feel like, I guess that's, that is the answer I'm going to give to. Yeah. Is there any, like, I feel like, like there's a lot of soda fountains.

You know what? When I get it, when I get a Diet Coke from a soda fountain, I feel like it's not too bubbly. Like, I feel like it's like, it's, it's like, for whatever reason, it's like a little less carbonated. Well, it's usually the mark of, like, a crappier place. Yeah, 10,000. Sure, too.

Yeah. I would just say, don't fucking worry, don't worry about drinking sodas. Yeah. The other part of your question. Yeah. You're healthier. Yeah. Right.

Laugh at us when we're dying because of our bubbly bones. Yes. This feels like a bubbly bone. This feels like the question of a young man. I don't know Niko's age, but it reads like the question of someone who feels excluded from his group of peers. Yeah. It's like a unique worry to be able to have.

The flight just flew on Wiger's arm and he's free. It's staying there. It's staying. He's just hanging out. You. We are what the fuck? He's riding you. He's on your arm.

This is like Game of Thrones. Like, he's Khaleesi riding you right now. Hold on a second. I'm going to take a picture of this. He's like, he loves you. No, don't move, Wiger. I'm not, I'm holding still. He's just hanging out there.

He's cleaning. He's cleaning his little front paws. You know, as a little boy, I had a fly land on my hand and then he just like puked. Like, he just like landed and then just staggered for a second and then like he was drunk, just like vomited all over the hand. Oh my God. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. This guy's just hanging. I think he's going to live there from now on. He's just killing. That is so bizarre. He likes my forearm. I've never really seen that. It's insane.

Did he die? He just froze. Yeah. He's like not moving. God, I hope he pukes. I hope a second fly has landed on you and puked. He's not moving. He's just frozen.

I mean, should you frozen? Nick, can you walk? We walk outside. Yeah. I'll walk outside here. We'll finish. We'll wrap up the episode and we'll walk outside. Okay.

Well, we'll get this. We'll get this guy out of here. Yeah. Nico, don't worry about it. As for the other part of your question, I mean, I don't know. I mean, like foods that drinks that you wish you could have, but can't because there's something else holding you back. I mean, I probably have some food aversion just from like eating like spinach artichoke

dip and getting sick off. There's probably, it's probably more food poisoning memories than anything that lemon chicken for me was. Lemon chicken. That's the one. Yeah. That's what I contributed that to me, but that was actually you. That happened to me.

I made you sick. Yeah. It made me like one time I was sick and my mom was cooking it and the smell of it made me like I threw up and then I could never eat it again. I have a few things like that. Yeah. Definitely. There's there's definitely a few things that I can't do, but I usually get over it.

Like, but actually I think lemon chicken is like the one thing I haven't gotten over. What is unique about his situation is to have never had it. Right? Yes. Yeah. Well, no, he grew up and now he just, it tastes too weird. You had a, you were, you were in a situation with the where you had a two over was doing your upbringing was doing a good job.

Keeping you away from soda. Yeah. Be grateful to your great parents. Yeah. Don't worry about that at all. You're doing fine, Nico. We love you, Nico. Baby Nico.

Oh, he flew into my mouth for God's sake. He got very, he's in a trusting mood. He disagreed with our advice. Yeah. We have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants. You can email us at dowboyspodcastsdmail.com to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode. Subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Jess Jordan, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you guys. It was so fun to get jacked with y'all. I'm never coming down for this high. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? Check out Kardashian. It's my podcast with Trisha McAlpin and Marcy Jarrow. You can find us on iTunes and at a Kardashian it on Instagram and all around.

Yeah. You guys talk all things Kardashian. All things Kardashians. Even if you don't watch the show, it's mostly just a lot of pop culture and ladies stuff and life and we're just having fun. So very, very, very funny ladies. Great. Great.

Trisha on the show before. She's so funny. Marcy on here. It's a great crew. Yeah. Thanks guys. Yeah. Give us a list.

Definitely. Jess, you're great. You're the best. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. Nick, you fucked up by not walking outside with that damn fly on you. A human fly, Travis. You could have walked outside and you could have left too.

It would have been great. Right. Nick, I like you, bud. Mitch, I like you too. I'll do it for this episode of Doughboys and I'll next time for the Spoon Bad Bike Show on Big Wiger. Happy eating. See ya.

Cereal audio. Cereal audio.