Doughboys - Deluca's Italian Deli with Alana Hope Levinson and Dan O'Sullivan
Episode Date: September 18, 2025Alana Hope Levinson (@alanalevinson) and Dan O'Sullivan (@osullyville) of The Outfit join the 'boys to talk Italian subs, the mafia, and favorite Italian chains before a review of Deluca's It...alian Deli. Plus, a new edition of The Wiger Challenge.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.nbclosangeles.com/local/delucas-deli-debuts-at-the-americana-in-glendale/1897288/?amp=1https://www.climate.gov/news-features/event-tracker/weather-and-climate-influences-january-2025-fires-around-los-angeleshttps://la.eater.com/2025/1/16/24345202/rick-caruso-allegedly-hired-private-firefighters-to-protect-restaurants-inside-his-pacific-palisades-developmenthttps://www.yahoo.com/news/la-elite-hire-private-firefighters-094024450.htmlhttps://delucasdeli.com/about-us/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Two of the three most destructive wildfires in California history happened in January of 2025.
As the twin Eaton and Palisades fires raged over neighborhoods on different geographic ends of Los Angeles,
raising thousands of homes and blanketing the city with smoke and ash,
the man-made crisis of climate change was joined by another grim feature of our boring dystopia,
privatization of once public services.
With the homes and businesses of L.A.'s billionaires and mere centimillionaires under threat,
privatized firefighters rallied to the rescue, their rescue.
And the most visible of these mercenary brigades were those hired by L.A. Shopping Center
magnate and failed 2022 mayoral candidate Rick Caruso.
Caruso's crew, shipped in from Arizona, focused their efforts on protecting his high-end mall,
Palisades Village.
The successful end result left a surreal landscape where surrounding properties were scoured,
but the retail complex, which houses a Brandy Melville, a Lulu Lemon, and an Aeroon
emerged largely unscathed, though it won't officially reopen until next year.
Caruso and others' usage of privatized firefighters was so controversial it prompted
a bill from the California State Assembly restricting private firefighters from using public
hydrants, though those employed by Caruso shipped in their own water trucks.
Still, like his Republican in everything but name Mayoral Run, the incident tainted the reputation
of the man behind the wildly successful and sadly kind of awesome shopping centers
the grove in the Americana brand.
And leveraging his retail empire, Crusoe has also wet his beak in the restaurant industry,
partnering with chef Tancredi DeLuca of beloved local Tritoria Amici to open an Italian
deli concept built for L.A. malls, with a location at the Americana itself.
So next time, fires hit, we know at least one L.A. area deli will be protected.
This week on Doe Boys, DeLuca's Italian.
in Deli.
Welcome to Do Boys, the Podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm Tiger Wiger, along with my co-host, the Fudrucker's proxy, the spoon man, Mike
Mitchell.
All right.
Just about to dive into the blank check hud sucker proxy app and thought of this roast.
Thanks. Love you guys.
Lucia F.
Roast at birdfuck.com.
We had a lot of fun guest on that podcast.
You're about to jump into the podcast and then you, but before you did, you had to send off the roast of me.
What?
The emailer.
They were about to listen to the podcast, but instead they had to write this email of roasting me.
I thought you were talking about me.
I was like, yeah, that's what we start every episode.
No.
What are you talking about, you fool?
I know you do the roast up top.
Yeah.
That's why I was disoriented.
well reorient yourself i'm trying mitch i'm trying now that i get context we're trying to convey
yes you were saying this this uh lucia f this individual we need some reorientation wags get
can we get a headgum exec in here
is anyone who works at headgum still here no one's here oh weird weird strange
i haven't see someone in this office in weeks i think flies have just taken over the
There's a lot of flies in the building now.
I think the fly, I think, did, did, was this a telepod situation?
Is that, you're saying that?
Did Marty Michael go through the telepod with a, damn, this is going to be one good looking fly on the other end of it.
That flies hot as fuck.
I, uh, I, I, I upped my Lexapro today.
Hey, how about that?
I up my dosage recently.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Which, what was your dosage?
No, don't worry about it.
Two, two blue chews per day.
day.
It ain't working.
Let me tell you, with that lexapro, nothing's going on here.
I'm feeling great about it.
I don't care.
Yeah, sure.
What do you need that for?
Yeah, let's get rid of it.
Turn me into a Ken doll.
Castrate me.
That part of our lives is over.
Let's just leave that in the past.
If I could get the body of Ken and the genitals of Ken, I think I'd take it.
I've weighed getting chemically castrated just to see what it feels like.
You know what?
I'll do it for you.
Should we do it for the
Should we do it for a Patreon episode?
I'll do it
All right great
I 100% did
Donkey Kong
Let me text my wife
Yeah she's cool with it
Just wrote back
Do it
I open my text messages
It's from her
Hey have you thought about
Getting chemically castrated
I bought the chemicals
Funny enough
I'm up in the Lexa Pro
100% of Donkey Kong Bonanza
Congratulations, how exciting
I will never do that
I start taking
after I was done with Donkey Kong Bonanza
I was sad
I was too sad
I feel like our guest is having an allergic reaction
Are you okay Dan?
It's the hardest I've let
I feel like such a kiss ass
But I'm just laughing like
Yeah I don't make you laugh like that
We have to have a conversation about
You need to be talking about chemical castration
a lot more on our...
I was just waiting for you to ask me.
It was one of my favorite topic.
It's a gift to the Magi situation.
We'll get into it.
Wags and I are going through it recently.
We're going through some things.
I was like, you know, I've been...
I've already told, I'm on Emila, we're not getting Dark Weiger here.
They can stay behind the paywall, but I've been dealing with...
What's that?
Sounds cool.
I mean, Dark, I mean, Dark Wiger is pretty cool.
Yeah.
He's for the Patreon episodes.
I've been dealing with major depression and I've been trying to do things I enjoy,
which is not helping.
But I'm trying it.
But I was working from home today at my job, so I got to take the choo-choo into work.
I was like, hey, I love taking the train.
I love not having to drive.
So I took the train.
I was like, oh, this is great.
I'm taking the train.
And then immediately, a guy from the adjacent car just starts going,
whoo.
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
I thought it was a dog at first.
No, it was a man.
Look at Jimmy.
Jimmy's reacting.
Jimmy's reacting.
What's what you were saying.
I say, put that guy at the front of the train.
People will know the train's coming.
You're hired.
Just drop them to the front.
No, but it's one of those things of like, oh, yeah, that's what this experience.
You know, very often you're writing public transit and there are people who are maybe going through some stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, God bless that guy.
I hope that he figures out everything, but you're doing all right.
Yeah, we're doing, we're hanging in there.
You're not making whooping sounds that often.
That's true.
Not yet, at least.
It's my least favorite sibling on Frasier.
I don't know I have no idea what you're talking it's okay
It wasn't good
But they got it
I liked it
Did you take the dark rail or light rail
This could be a part of the problem
Oh well here's the thing Mitch
Dark rail
Well yeah I was trying to take the light rail
You know the Expo line over from the the west side
No I ended up taking the dark rail
That's your problem
Yeah
You would have a much better day if it was the light rail
I should have taken the light rail
I got to check which train is
arriving.
The dark rail has
like the midnight
meat express. What the fuck is it called? Midnight meat train.
This doesn't seem to be going over as well as a chemical castration
stuff.
The producer's showing more castration
like from the sidelines.
You saw how much
Emma and Amelia are pulling the strings over there.
Behind the day is just telling us what to say.
The light rail has polar express, dark rail has
crampus express as we've talked about.
I pitched crampus Express
My issue with Crampus Express
It does not exist as a standalone IP
It has to be a spin-off of Polar Express
Mitch is saying it stands on its own two feet
I don't see it
Its own two cloven hooves more like with that guy
Come on, I mean, come on
But your context for Crampus Express is Polar Express
People online someone was like
Like was like actually
Polar Express has only existed for like 50 years
and crampuses existed for, you know, I mean, I guess in reality, millennia, maybe.
I mean, well, look, suck rule was a fair rule.
Also, congrats to Raider Nation.
Hey, how about that?
Your Raider Nation beat my Patriots in the first.
Very exciting.
Are you a Patriots fan?
I was until they became so evil I could not.
And it is possible.
No, no, no.
No, no.
There's an intervention occurring here, which is it is possible to, you know,
actually, they've turned the corner a little bit,
the dark lords have sort of moved on
for the most part. What was the moment
for you? It was the maga hat in the
locker, Tom Brady locker. I was like,
I'm done, thank you. I'll go
I'll go root for the bears and
they just suck and no one's ever
going to care. Do you know. Do me your favorite.
Don't look at my head gum locker.
Wasn't his explanation
for that though? He was just holding on to it for
Robert Kraft while he got jacked off.
I don't want to get calm on my hat.
I mean, come on Tom.
Yeah.
Wasn't he dating his daughter at that point or something?
Wasn't that, was that it?
Or what, I forget what was going on.
I think we would have known more about him dating his own daughter.
No, Brady was dating Trump's daughter.
Oh, got it, got it, yeah, yeah.
You never dated his daughter.
Jesus Christ.
He kissed his son on the house.
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
You know about that.
Kissing your dad on.
I kissed my dad on the lips every so often.
Yeah, it's cool to kiss your dad.
Yeah, why not?
Yeah.
Well, you know, I own one.
some tongue.
Yeah, you should.
You should.
He had a birthday.
Happy birthday, Mr. Weiger.
How about that?
Give him a little kiss.
Give him one from me.
God.
That's a spoon, man.
Yeah, no, I know.
I have to do it myself.
Alana, did you want to?
Is this what men are like?
Chemical castration.
Come on a maga hat.
Kissing your dad.
I.
Well, you didn't let us go off on the dark, uh, yeah, you guys didn't let us go off on the dark.
Trains?
Oh, wait a minute.
It was not us.
I wanted to ask for.
instance, on the Cranpus Express, what do they serve?
Subway.
That's really good. Yeah.
Thin Jared rides the dark line, and fat Jared is on the light rail.
Because we all know fat Jared is innocent.
Wait a wait. So fat Jerry, so did losing the weight from subway turn him into a pedophile?
I think, yes.
Yeah, he was just, because before that, he was just a, he was just a guy with a stash of pornography.
He rented out of his dorm.
Yeah.
And then the, and then, and then, it is the truth that people who lose weight often become very obnoxious.
Like, as a big man, I've seen big people lose weight and they become obnoxious.
Sure. When I lost weight in college and I, I didn't handle it well because I didn't know how to deal with it.
Mitch, let me say from, you know, fan nation, looking pretty good there, buddy.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
It doesn't, that patho thing doesn't happen to people who lose weight.
I didn't say that.
I mean.
Just to be clear.
Okay.
It happened with Jared. Fat Jared, great guy. We would have fat Jared on the pod.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. Do you, you, did you, were you, were you always, were you a thin person always?
No, I lost a lot of weight over the past few years.
Wow.
I don't say that, like, it was just, I had to do it. I guess I didn't have to do it, but I had to do it.
And it is funny how, you know, people do treat you differently.
And the other thing is, like, you mentioned change is, like, I got an interesting thing.
A lot of people get a gastric bypass and they become alcoholics.
Oh, interesting.
Like, they just switch.
Like, so there's a lot of, like, interesting things like that that sometimes happen.
But I think I lost 70 or so pounds.
Wow.
Congratulations.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.
I mean, but here's the thing, like, when you're a tall guy, it doesn't.
It doesn't register as much.
People are, like, you know, they don't, it's just different.
I don't know why.
Yeah, I know I agree with that.
Yeah.
Because you're a tall drink of water.
Are you taller than Mitch?
How tall are you, Mitch?
I'm about 6.3.
I'm 6.3, 6.4.
Yeah, I think you were a little bit taller.
Yeah, somewhere around there, but.
I'm like just that 6.3, but I don't want to say I'm 6, 2 and whatever.
No, bump it up, just round up.
Yeah, I'm fine with me.
We all know that that's what you guys do.
Every guy does that.
At a couple inches.
I used to, I used to not.
Maybe down south, too.
Yeah, definitely down south.
For sure.
I got at least add one inch.
we're two inches
look
I don't need that stuff we talked about it
we don't need that we don't need that we don't need it
this is I think this is the year we all get
chemically castrated
guys by prom we gotta all be
chemically castrated
that would be so awesome let's just do it
yeah let's just fuck it we don't ball
I guess
you know what do that
what happens I'm looking at Nick
for this what happens in a chemical cast
Do you almost say crap?
Chemical crap station, yeah.
That's the next step.
Stop shitting.
You're going to have some joy.
Yeah, he got to have something.
I think the, I don't, I mean, like, it's a reversible thing, right?
It's like, it's like drugs that you take.
Is that what happens?
Yeah, you could stop taking it at a certain point and then everything comes back to semi-normal, I believe.
It's like an ongoing, it's like taking immunosuppressants after you get a transplant.
It's like a thing you have to keep doing, I think.
When you said you got to have some fun
When you get chemical castrated
It's like taking a shit
Like does that like equal?
This is disgusting
I don't want to just play your drop
This is fucking gross
I was just looking up
If you could reverse chemical castration for you
And you can
I was just wondering
You can
Here you're in the doughboys bathroom
You're like
Oh
About receiving orgasmic pleasure
For dropping a load
it's shooting a load not dropping one
sick fuck
it's funny to think of you getting off
on taking a shit
I find it
I want a wretch
it's but if you think about it
it's interesting
okay
it is you know it's interesting
sorry to our guest
the podcast is disgusting
I don't know if you guys do that
I just want it's disgusting
I'm on board with this
I was the one weeping at the chemical
castration time
Look, Alina is being ambushed like Joe Pesci and Goodfellas right now, you know.
You had no idea that this is the type of stuff that we discuss on this show.
We did come in pretty hot.
Yeah, look, look.
Oh, shit, the wall is falling.
What?
Part of the wall just fell off.
I'm not lying.
The soundproofing.
Yeah, it's a soundproofing.
Probably a new fly nest.
The flies coming out of the wall.
That buzzing we heard in the wall a few months ago, I think Amelia was right about the
I was right. I think you maybe were right about the flies in the wall. I'm shocked.
You're certainly right about the headgum offices being awfully vacant because we record on Fridays and it's like tumbleweed going by.
It's a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, too.
Friday's freeform Friday where you can come into the office if you want to, I think, and then they don't.
I think I think they headgum employees always have three day weekends, I believe. Is that true, Wags?
Yeah, I mean, there is that janitor who works here who was always like, oh no, I'm.
One's worked at headgum for 30 years.
And then you look away and look back and he's gone.
Yeah, he's real sneaky.
Yeah.
I should get a real job, huh?
Yeah, you should.
Should I get, should I get it?
No, don't.
I have a real job.
Oh, you do have a real job.
It sucks, yeah.
We don't want to tell, can we, can you talk about what it is?
I'll talk about it, yeah, yeah.
Well, first, let me hit him with a drop.
Okay.
And then I'm going to think of a job I will do in the meantime.
Okay, okay.
I used to get pizza all the time for lunch.
I'd get two pizzas and two chocolate milk.
Two pizzas and two chocolate milk.
Two pizzas and two chocolate milks every fucking day for lunch.
Two pizzas and two chocolate milk.
Two pizzas and two chocolate milk.
Two pizzas and two chocolate milks every fucking day for lunch.
There are people who are jacking off to this.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
We should have had you listen to the drop first.
It would have kind of summed up the podcast a little bit.
That was my lunch most days in seventh grade.
Yeah, you get two pizzas and two chocolate milks.
I've come up with a regular job for me.
Yeah, what's that?
A cop.
You know what?
I can see it.
Yeah, maybe a mall cop.
Like Paul Blart, which also was filmed in the South Shore Plaza in Massachusetts,
Braytree, Massachusetts, which was
my mall when I was growing up.
Dude, I can absolutely see Paul Blart 3.
Oh, man.
If I took over the Blart franchise, wow.
Time for the direct-to-video recasting.
Get Mike Mitchell and then.
I was, I actually.
We're going to need a bigger segue.
Jesus.
Kevin Smith is huge.
Oh, Kevin James.
Oh, poor Kevin Smith.
Karen Smith is not huge.
She's looking good.
He looks good.
Yeah.
But the big jeans being lowered in honor, you know,
or hung up in the rafters, yeah.
A cop, you know, I actually did, you know this.
I went in for, like, I was going to become a cop.
And then I had like my first training day and it was like crazy.
It was out of control.
Yeah, yeah.
I heard about this training day.
They had me smoke crack and then like they left me at this guy's house to get killed.
Yeah, geez.
Yeah.
So it was, yeah, it was a little out of control.
Glad you made it out in one.
Thank you, yeah, thank you.
Yeah, that was a cool training day.
All right.
Hey, D.K. and everyone, a meme of chocolate milk and cafeteria pizza popped up in, what?
A meme of chocolate milk and cafeteria pizza popped up on my feed as I listened to Wager mentioning that exact meal.
Wow.
Spooky.
I took that as a sign, and here I am, and there that was.
Count Drupula.
Thanks, Count Dropula.
We like Count Dropula.
That was a great job.
Hey, we're very excited to welcome our guests to the show.
They've been sitting for far too long.
They host the outfit, a new headgum podcast.
They were disgusted by what we were doing.
Yeah, it's true.
And they host the outfit, a podcast right here on HeadGum, about the mafia and how it explains America.
Alana Hope Levinson and Dan O'Sullivan.
Alana, Dan, thank you both so much.
Oh, please.
Thank you.
How you doing?
Why is the soap?
Let's talk about the mafia because that is the focus of your podcast.
Like, why the fascination with the mafia?
Why does this become the topic?
uh for you know this this this ongoing show well you have uh i mean you have a personal
you're connected as they say that's a term i don't know if you you know understand what that means
okay you might be exaggerating a little i am exaggerating in fact but why not why didn't we lie more
we should have lied more who's going to check i i killed a guy yeah oh my god wow yeah it was that
same training day in fact yeah the guy in the chair it was the guy in the bathtub or whatever yeah i did
I just did rewatch training day.
That's why I went on that little tangent.
What provoked that, when inspired that?
Rewatching it? It was on.
Okay.
So I just watched.
Yeah. And I watched the, um, I watched the bathtub scene, which is, is a big, that's a big, that is a big, that is a big moment.
Uh, they're talking about getting my, your shit pushed in, and then they, they go to the tub and they almost shoot the guy.
William Howard Taft is stuck in the bathtub, the president.
That's right.
That's who they have to get him out of the bathtub.
It's a great scene, yeah.
It's a, I don't know how I feel about Training Day.
I, I, I didn't rewatch the whole thing, but that scene was still effective.
I remember liking it.
You know it would be cool if they did a sequel.
And at the beginning, he goes, here we go again.
Sorry.
So, wait, so you have, you're connected to some degree.
She's connected.
Wow.
Okay.
Wouldn't you say?
Sure, sure.
I mean, there's both half Jewish,
half Italian, on both sides, there's some family lore about, you know, okay.
You're a Tettino's pizza bagel.
Yes, exactly, yeah, pizza bagel.
And Dan is just obsessed, autistically obsessed.
Okay, that's a hard A.
You know, that's a, I'm sorry.
Leaning right on that.
No, I, you know, I wrote about the mafia a bit.
I wrote a story about a Chicago mobster who was the only Japanese American member of the mob.
and always was really interested in it and I grew up on Long Island um my my dad I've told this
story in the pod that my dad was a telephone lineman uh and at one point I worked these mob
neighborhoods and at one point got pulled down from his bucket by these mobsters who thought
he was a cop undercover FBI guy undercover whoa um but then you know one day he went back up
and found a bug in the in the exchange box so clothes it up and
went on this way.
Like a listening bug, not like a headgum bug.
No, it was a headgum.
It was recording Tim Bultz.
It was really a good episode, actually, you know.
It's a little bit like a mafia around here, too.
You're going to give them an offer they can't refuse.
20% off magic spoon.
That's convincing.
Yeah.
I got to say.
So you mentioned you're from Long Island, but you're also from everywhere.
because you lived in Maine, you lived in Chicago,
you spent some time in a few different cities.
I have, and, you know, my enemies were many,
like saying I'm from everywhere and I steal valor from everywhere,
which is true, right?
But that's the point, you know?
You don't want to be shoehorned in as being just from Boston
or Quincy or someplace like that, you know?
It's pretty good.
But, yeah, so it's, and, you know, all those places have good mob stuff.
Right.
We've done episodes all around the country,
around the world, right?
Yeah.
What about the Irish mob?
Well, we're, I'm, I'm adherent to the Connor O'Ma, and we got to talk about this,
the Connor O'Malley idea to bring back the Irish mob.
Oh, okay, yeah.
And let's, let's do this, you know?
Let's, I mean, what's your mob name, Mitch?
Well, my name is Mike Mitchell.
I feel like, uh, very close to being, uh, uh, yellow M&M.
Yeah, yellow M&M.
So does that make you...
Is it the red one is the other emin?
I guess it'd be the red one, yeah.
Yeah, the red eminame.
Yeah.
Yeah, the wise talking red.
I'd rather be the green one.
Was one of them...
The green one's sexy.
I know.
Green one is sexy as hell.
So you'd be the green one.
I'm the green one.
And is there another, like, is there another shitty one I can be?
Uh, I feel like the blue.
The brown one shows up sometimes.
Yeah.
I'm there to make sure Van Halen's tour goes okay, I guess.
Um, yeah.
Yeah, we could restart the Irish mob over on this other couch there with Gemmy
because you are, you are Irish, you have family in Ireland.
Mitch, you've also visited Ireland.
I was 100% Irish on ancestry at one point in that.
100?
That's even, that's even bread.
That's what Conan O'Brien said famously, is that if you're 100% Irish, you're inbred, basically, which is kind of, I think, true.
Yeah.
Rudy Giuliani wishes, you know.
Yeah.
No, we were talking about this that, and this is a point of contention with you.
Yeah.
Alana, because I am 15th, 16th Irish.
I'm a dual citizen of the U.S. and Ireland.
Wow.
My grandparents were Irish and I still have family there.
They still run the same family farm there.
But the other 16th is Italian.
And I think that makes me count as Italian-American.
That's insane.
Wow.
I like it.
What is the threshold?
Yeah.
His obsession with my people for being, for the little speck that he's got in his DNA.
You have to understand.
Mitch, like, nailed it.
Like, if I'm 100% Irish, I'm inbred.
That's it.
That little spice.
That little parsley.
That parsley on, it does something.
That Italian spice blend.
It flips.
I mean, my grandfather was the only man who got drafted into the Army in World War II and thought the food was really good.
Like, so.
Yeah, you need.
That's the thing that made.
do the food in your household, you know, edible.
Absolutely, yeah. Wow.
My ancestry has updated once again.
I just went to it.
It keeps changing.
It does change all the time.
It was 100% Irish.
And then it went to like Scottish.
It was actually, I think the first time it was maybe Irish and Scottish.
Then it went to 100% Irish.
Without submitting new com.
It just like it says this is based up your old sample.
I keep sending them old new companies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They got out of business, actually.
Yeah.
Now it says I'm 95% Irish.
What's the rest?
3% Scottish.
Okay.
This is new, though.
2% Germanic Europe.
Wow, how about that?
You got a Viking in there or something.
I guess so.
I was always kind of proud of not being German.
They're the bad guys from World War II.
I don't know if you read about that.
I mean, you're kind of, yeah, holding the long standing red.
Actually, that is a matter of some debate.
It's complicated.
Actually, it's quite complicated.
It's sort of complicated.
A lot of you're from
You grew up in San Francisco
San Francisco proper
Yes
What is it
And my understanding is that you have a fascination
Or even a love for fast food
Partly because you couldn't get it
When you live there
Yeah it's not that I couldn't get it
I just don't remember it being that
Popular to eat
Right sure
Right like if you wanted cheap food
You would get a burrito or tacos
Like why would you go
I think there was one taco balance
San Francisco I remember
But like why would you
ever go there. Why would you go there when you get a huge mission beret? Yeah. So it has this
appeal to me. It's the same way I didn't go to Costco until like a year ago. Oh, hell yeah.
And it truly changed my life. Yeah, I love Costco. I just, I kind of have a lust for these
suburban, all-American experiences. Because I grew up with like actual good food.
Actual good food, but also like, um, naked guys just walking around as like a protest, you know.
Yeah, that's an interesting move.
People with ball gags in their mouth.
Right, yeah.
That's, that seems fun.
It was fun.
It was great.
But that makes me love the Cheesecake Factory.
Right.
Try the Folsom Street Fair at the Cheesecake Factory.
It ain't going down that way.
You know, yeah.
Totally.
What are you doing over there?
I looked up something pertinent to the conversation.
Wait, is this just what happens when you make it?
You get to just go on your phone as you're recording.
People, people, you have an iPad.
People yell at me for being on my phone.
Which is me looking up stuff because we're talking about Costco, the classic combo turned 40 wigs.
How about that?
The dog and soda.
Wow.
Combo just turned 40 years old.
So that's a whole thing is that, you know, the CEO of Costco has been like, I will not raise the price.
Yes.
I will fucking kill you.
Yes.
So let's not kill that one.
Maybe that guy.
Maybe that guy, you'll save.
Well, because also Costco famously pays its people well.
they have health insurance, like they have good benefits at Costco.
The culture is supposed to be good there.
Although in the Costco subreddit, I think it's the Costco employees subreddit.
Give us the tea?
No, I don't have a life.
That's debated.
Like, I think that is true, but, you know, it depends on.
But we're comparing it with this, you know, wolf pack around this.
Yeah, it's not Amazon.
Yeah, I mean, like, look, it's not unionized.
So, but like, it's like that's the, but yeah, in, in comparison to other places,
It seems like it's a pretty good place for a worker.
Here's here's here's here's something for you.
Yeah.
Classic combo turned 40 just just in September, 40 years old.
The hot dog and soda combo you love 40 years ago wise.
Yeah.
You were just a little, I don't know, you were 20 something.
And then also Kirkland's signature just turned 30.
How about that?
So they just, they're celebrating their 30th year.
Are you a Kirkland signature fan?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I like, I remember surviving.
a like a camping weekend where I got the highlight was truly getting gifted a 10 pound box
of frozen Kirkland burger patties. Wow. And I was like, this is, this is not mana from heaven.
I could wander the desert with this and I'd be satisfied, you know? I love it. I ate it the whole
summer, you know? Yeah, that's, that's fantastic. Yeah. Or let's talk about a Costco sheet cake.
Oh, I believe, you know, fuck these fancy cakes. No. I want.
just a vanilla
Costco
I think you have to special order them now
they're delicious
vanilla's a flavor I do really like
it's true I do really like
I like sheet cake I've never thought to get a cake
from Costco
it sounds like it'd be great though
yeah right yeah it's so no one here has had it
no I have not
wow this is upsetting what's the
what's the last occasion you got a Costco sheet cake for
I think I was having a barbecue and then
no one ate it so I just
spent the whole week going back to the fridge.
And I would be like, you can only have two slices a day.
That's a very L.A. thing, having some dessert that people just don't touch.
Really annoying.
Enjoy yourself.
It's a fucking barbecue.
That is a true thing.
Like, if you put that down in Chicago or Boston, it'd be the Tasmanian devil swirl of people just consuming it, you know.
Oh, yeah.
Right?
Like, let's go to a fat guy city.
I mean, I think that's part of the issue with San Francisco.
It's not a fat guy city.
No.
You know?
Yeah.
That's true.
And like every other place I'm from, it kind of, you know, or lived in.
A great food in San Francisco.
North Beach, you know, the Italian food.
Yeah.
Chinatown, obviously.
Yeah, you got a good mix of stuff.
It's true.
Was there, was there like a, does San Francisco have like a, like, healthy, you know, fast food?
Like, is there like a, were they healthier, were there's any sort, you know, any sort of healthy drive-thrues, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.
I mean, we did go to McDonald's.
in Burling game growing up
when my parents got a divorce is sort of like
we'll let you go to the ballpick and play around
I didn't because there is like
there are regional chains up there and also
I think some of them have disappeared since we started
doing shows up there so I don't know
if there were some sort of you know granola
I wonder if the Secretary of Health and Human
Services has any beef tallow recommendations
potentially
I think I wonder if the
I was signaling to Amelia to do her great
RFK Jr.
question, but...
I put her on the spot.
Okay, I'm sorry.
The hell was my fault?
No, that was my fault. No.
The hell was that?
No, I put her on the spot.
That's my fault. I'm sorry.
Shea cake has a good name.
Sheik is a good name.
I think that a lot of times when you go to weddings,
you know, like some big, ostentatious wedding,
there's the cake that they cut.
And oftentimes I think they're serving you at Costco sheet cake.
I would not be sure.
I think that's so true.
That's like a strategy or any catering.
Well, I think disgrace comedian Jeff Garland did make a good point where I remember he said,
if I was given the best cocaine in the world, the best wine in the world,
or a three-day-old grocery store sheetcake, not even a question which one I'd pick.
I'd pick the sheet cake.
And I love that crappy frosting.
I love, you know, just the, he's disgraced?
What happened?
Do we?
We can imagine.
Should I have that said that?
Yeah.
What did I miss?
There's a plant behind you if you need to...
There's a...
We can cut that out.
He served a skeet cake at one of his...
Yeah.
Skeet cake.
I was going to say...
That was a good one.
Well, you're going to say skeet cake?
No, you're going to say a G-rated joke.
I was going to say, what's a ghost have for a dessert?
Sheet cake.
What would a ghost have for his booth day?
Booth cake?
Sheat cake.
It's a hat on a hat
It's booth day
Yeah
It's booth day
That's because he's a confederate
Sympathes
That's why he's wearing
Yeah
What are they serving at the
CluClock's plan?
I like this
Ghost celebrating the day they died
Is like
This is fun
And if there's some sort of ghost
If this is a Pixar ghost world
Wasn't some traditions do that?
Didn't they do this already
Coco?
Wasn't that?
Oh, I don't know
My mom's nickname is Coco
It's cute
That is Coke.
Coco. Yeah.
I hate that fucking movie.
I haven't seen Coco.
I do hate it.
I watched Stephanie Beatrice's movie.
The Enkanto.
Enkanto.
Yes.
I mean, I haven't seen Coco.
Yeah.
You didn't like Coco.
Let's hear your Coco rant.
I don't know if I can do my Disney rant.
Wow.
Oh, please.
Because I maybe won't.
Please, I will join you on a Disney rant.
Mine will be worse, but.
We did an episode about Disney working with the mob.
It's fine.
You know?
Disney worked with mom.
I just hate, like, there's cocoa, you know, and then they have Luca, which is the Italian one.
Yeah, sure.
And they're like, you know, every, each one is like a different culture.
And then they weirdly end up being super stereotypical.
Like, the accents are so insane.
Oh, sure.
And they're, you know, and like, I don't know.
They're working on an Irish one called Smitty.
Where he drinks until he pukes blood.
And then he's in this magical world.
You know, so look forward to that.
Bill Burr, I think, is it, yeah.
Bill Burr voice in a, I would, come on.
Disney's lost a bit of its magic.
I think that's okay to say.
Yeah.
Don't you think so, I like?
Yeah.
I mean, there are, also, you should feel about it.
They're a horrible company.
No, no, no, I just, I feel like that.
Well, you're a big supporter of Ronda Santas, right?
That could have been, it's like, because you know a big conservative talking point is like,
stop making woke Disney movies.
We want the blonde princesses back, which is not what I'm saying.
Yes. But this is, this is, this is the difficult, because some, I think that like Disney also can be a bad company that makes things like that. And, and, and you know what I mean? Like, that doesn't, those people, those right wing people aren't right either. That's the whole problem. It's like, you're just like Disney sucks. And there are people who think Disney sucks for a different reason. Yeah. Like, you know, they're, they're just like, you know, it's like the, and I know it's, and I know it made a gobs of money for them. So what the fuck do I know? But like the Lilo and Stitch live action thing was like, this is so calculate.
There's, you know what I mean?
Like, why did they need to do this?
Why do they need to make a...
You were telling us before we began recording,
you thought it was almost childish in a way.
You were sitting there in your glasses like,
I'm quite bored of this.
Yeah, to be fair, a lot of people like Coco.
Maybe I hate it because I've been forced to watch it 50 times with my nephews.
Okay, yeah, that could be.
But, you know, I think that there's a...
Also, there's...
You can look at some of that stuff cynically.
And I think some, you know, I think Disney probably...
make some stuff cynically. There's
there's rich people who are making...
They make so much stuff cynically.
Yes, of course. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying like...
Like, because you're, because you're making
content that is good doesn't make you bulletproof
of criticism. You know what I mean? Like, you can still be making stuff that's not
great. So, and they're also a shitty company.
Yeah, they're bad company. It's fine. It's fine to say, it's, it's
fine to discuss this stuff. It's like, obviously I think there's people who are just
chauvinists and homophobic that don't
like things for those specific reasons.
Right.
We did an episode...
Like us.
Yeah.
Like the dough boys.
We did an episode on the outfit that hasn't come out yet about Walt Disney, the
1941 animator's strike, which is a really interesting story, but also about the fact
that it ends up with Walt Disney lining up with the Chicago mob, and I mean directly,
aligning himself with them to force an end to the strike and shunt them the animators into
this mob-controlled union.
Wow. And I mean, that's the sort of hopefully the typical story we're doing on the show.
And I mean, it's like grumpy and dopey or fucking union busting.
The guy who invented goofy nearly gets into a fistfight with the mobster from Chicago.
It's just a crazy story. So, and it was, you know, reading about it makes you think about the WGA strike and the SAG strike.
And they also had the most beautiful union picket placards you've ever seen because they're all animators.
imagine yeah so they drew angry donald and you know mickey on strike all that stuff so
yeah some of the some of the signs when we were on strike like some of them would be
embarrassing little too cute yeah some of them were little some of them like i would get one
that would like be like too much shit written out and i'd be like i'm gonna can i just get
one that has nothing written on it you need a studio executive to be on strike to give notes
and say i don't get it yeah well the other thing is because like sometimes they'll because
these signs will just again we're picketing for months so like you'll you'll get you'll
get there and that is WJ captain so you know it's involved some of this but there's like just a
bunch of picket signs lying there and some you just pick one up and sometimes it's something that
slipped in that he was a captain what what what what what I was but you write uh people would just
write some shit on the sign I was about the studio captains people just write so like their own
slogan on the sign and then it would just be there and then you pick it up the next day and it
would be like you know the studios are being sex and the shitty and you're just like I guess
I'm committing to holding this all day and then but the other thing that would
that would happen is that someone else would come up to you
and be like, hey, did you work on sex in the city?
Like, no, I just grabbed this one
and I'm holding it for four hours
walking in a circle, you know, that's just
what my day is. They'd ask you which sex
in the city character you are. It's like, I'm a
Miranda, obviously. Obviously,
I'm a Miranda, but I didn't work on the show.
I didn't work on the show, but I am a Miranda.
Anyways, hall, and then suck
them off.
That's part of a Samantha.
That's part of a Samantha. Sorry, that is Samantha.
I guess Miranda might do that, but it's more of a
I'd do that. Samantha would do it.
I heard, maybe you can confirm this.
If you pick up the placard that Aaron Sorkin wrote, you have to walk around the rest of the day.
Yeah, you can't stop.
One steady can't move.
So you're not as good as the Samantha.
I like it.
I liked it.
So you do love fast food.
I do.
Dan, you've had to swear off of fast food, and this is part of your sort of healthful, you know, swing.
I mean, I feel like, God, you know,
If I had been a guest on this show five years ago, I would have just torn it up.
I would have, you know, and instead I'm like, I'm the retired gunslinger.
We were firing on higher cylinders that you should have come here five years ago.
You know, I know, I know.
I'm like, I'm being sucked back in for one last score and possibly sucked off, you know, so I hear.
If I'm in the Samantha mood, we'll see.
Talked about, like, dicks or come once a minute.
Ever since we started.
We have a clock.
No, no.
No, I'm not even getting it.
Yeah.
So keep it going.
Okay.
So we have a quota to hit.
I mean, we're, you know, we're at the dick-sucking factory and we got to keep it moving.
Yeah.
Actually, a post episode, if we don't hit that quota, we'll just have, we'll just come.
We'll just put that in for every minute if we don't hit it, right?
Just drop.
Yeah, we'll just drop it in.
My parents are going to listen to this.
Oh, no.
My mom, my mom, I did an interview on the, on the radio, and,
I told Lysis, my mom was like, can you just, can you not do any masturbation talk?
And I was like, oh, God, that sucks that my mom, I never, she's never said masturbation to me, ever.
I never heard her say masturbation before.
Now she's saying it all the time.
Open the floodgates.
She's saying it left and right.
So when you, like, did you, was this just a thing you just flipped a switch and were like, I can't eat fast food anymore?
I'm just like, you know, I need to cut this out of my life because you were eating it a lot.
I was.
And, you know, my doctor's, you know, it was basically.
like a situation where I put on a bunch of weight and my cholesterol was high and like
there was starting to be a little fatty liver. Oh, I have fatty liver as well. So it, it was like,
you know, and this was before the dawn of the shots and all that. So I just started eating,
it's boring. I just started eating three square meals a day and it came off, you know. Wow.
And even exercise, really. Well, when you were into fast food, though, what were some of your
favorite situation?
Three square meals at four square meals a day.
Yeah, you already rounded up.
Four square meals a day, so we're talking about a slice of Sicilian,
uh, lasagna, it's a plate of Neapolitan ice cream.
Yeah, right.
It's everything a kid would fit on a plate on a cruise ship.
No, I, you know, my favorites would have been like, look, I want to give, I want to give
a shout out to a fast, fast, casual restaurant. I don't, I think something's happened.
where it doesn't get the credit it deserves.
I'm talking about five guys.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, so good.
Yeah.
I feel like no one gives it the proper credit for what it is, which is, I think it's like
the best around, both in the burger and the fries.
Also, if a crossover for you guys, it sounds like the most mob-like, maybe it's the most mob-like
restaurant name.
We should have done that.
We should have done five guys.
Did you not hear the part where I changed my whole life and I can't do that anymore?
I'm going to say this.
And where I, uh, um, a dick got sucked there at the five guys also, right?
The place we- Five guys sucking y'all.
Of course, that's the joke.
A big human centipede of five guys or whatever.
We did a place, the place we did today is, it still sounds like it could be an Italian family and the Italian crime family.
Yes.
Just because it's an Italian name?
Yeah.
Because of any Italian name.
Basically, yeah.
That's racist.
That's not the Italian discrimination.
Look.
look my feelings on the Italians are mixed we know that here on the podcast okay love the food
hate the people that's basically I was scared to say that I don't like cocoa I openly I joke with
the Italians I was raised amongst Italians well Mitch the the Irish Italian divide is a very
famous one an interesting one of course um and a fun one and a fun one it's like we love each other
we hate each other. You know how it goes.
It's itchy and scratchy. Do we love you?
I don't think so.
I guess the Irish don't really love the Italians either.
So maybe there's no love there actually.
Well, I don't know the Italians love the Irish. I mean, I think it's, it's funny that like,
if I go back to Quincy, there are like, I have my Italian friends and they still feel,
I'm just saying like they are like, you Irish son of a gun, you know what I mean?
They still will say that.
I have some perspective on the...
I want to...
Amelia, you're Italian, obviously.
I'm half Irish, half Italian.
Wow.
The Henry Hill.
I'm a Henry Hill.
Right.
And from my experience, the Irish love everybody.
The Italians can hate the Irish sometimes.
I've noticed.
You're not wrong.
My grandma, who, I mean, we don't really...
We're kind of estranged.
She thought my parents' marriage was interracial.
Oh, my God.
Is she...
Is she the Italian grandmother?
Yeah, she's a Brooklyn Italian.
Okay.
That's very funny.
God damn.
That's hilarious.
I know.
Really racist.
Wow.
You should say, grandma, you want to see a real interracial marriage, you know, like, I mean, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, Italians and Irish people are pretty close, honestly, as far as a lot of cultural things.
Yeah.
Well, starts with an eye.
other similarities you know
I will say those are two European peoples
that I think are well like the world over
which is not true of a lot of them you know
that's true yeah
right isn't that true like everyone likes the Irish around the world
except the British that's the only one that doesn't
yeah no that's fair that's fair
Italian's oh maybe Italians I don't know I don't know
about the Italian and you're half Jewish which
everyone loves them so that's how
Good. Especially right now.
Especially right now.
He's never been more popular.
Right. Yeah. Right.
Here's a question I have tailored to your podcast.
The outfit.
When you go out to eat, do you match your outfit to your dining experience?
Wow.
I don't just mean like I'm going fine dining.
I get to dress up a little bit.
I mean like, I'm going to Tiki Bar.
I'm throwing a Hawaiian shirt.
That's fun.
Fun.
Yeah.
That's fun.
Yeah.
That's so cute.
That's like, I can just picture Wiger in his little lay and his Hawaiian shirt.
And he's like, you could go to a tiki bar tonight.
What is that?
What is that?
I don't know.
That's some shit I got at Nordstrom.
Yeah, it's kind of like a, I don't know, I'm, I think this is the final year I can wear this.
What are you talking about?
Wait, what happened next year?
Were we with you when you got this one?
Were we with you when you got this shirt?
No, no, this was, I was like, I was down at a, I was down near the ocean and it was really brisk and I didn't have a top layer.
So I just topped it.
I hopped into Nordstrom and they had, this was on sale.
I mean, it was the top floor, the Nordstrom.
I was just in the top, I was getting a suit for Tiff.
Yeah.
I got a suit for Tiff.
I'm going to Tiff.
The Toronto International Film Festival.
It's true.
I was like the WGA captain line.
Also, Tiff is the Toronto, not a lady named Tiff.
I'm not going out with some lady named Tiff.
She doesn't even know yet.
You're just going to knock on the door in the tuxedo.
But no, I said, you know, sometimes me, like, when I, when I, I,
when I'm in a situation like this, I have to buy something,
but I also like, I want to buy something that I will wear later.
So I have this that I'll at least wear on the podcast.
Yeah, it's kind of this colorful for our audio listeners.
It's like a pink, green, yellow sort of swirl,
sort of a, I guess, pseudo-tideye, but not exactly.
Yeah, like a marbled effect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What would you say, Alana, to this?
Because I obviously have no fashion sense whatsoever,
but, like, do you match yourself to where you're eating?
Like, if you go to Rick's drive-in, like, are you met, I mean, this is the first restaurant I could think of for some reason.
Rich drive-in and out. Spaghetti is back.
Yeah, that one.
Like, are you, I guess Dodger gear would be the way to dress for there?
That would be fitting.
A lot of people go their pregame or post-game?
Yeah, I can't say it's that specific.
But I will say, like, if I go to a Muso and Franks or a steakhouse, there is a mob wife kind of a vibe I like to bring.
Oh, yeah.
That's fun.
I'm a cussied up a little bit.
Yeah.
Do you have a, like, have you, you've been to Muso and Frank, I assume.
Yes.
Any thoughts?
I love it.
Yeah.
That is, like, my favorite restaurant in L.A.
Yeah, me too.
And here's the thing.
It's like, you kind of like expect, like, you're, I remember after the pandemic I went and I was like, maybe not after.
But, you know, once, once the lockdowns were, once the, the, the, the pandemic ended.
Can we get into that by the?
Yeah, yeah, let's just start talking about that.
The first time I ever introduced my parents to a girlfriend was at Musso and Frank.
where you do it.
Is that really true?
I didn't know that.
How old were you?
Like 24?
I mean,
way older than I should have been, I guess.
But I don't think so.
It was also my first real girlfriend, really.
This was at, yeah, my first few years in L.A.
We went to meet someone friends.
Yeah, that's where you would go for that.
That's a good place to meet someone's parents.
Now also very popular after Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
I feel like there's got a lot of.
Was there a bump from that?
I think, I think people now go.
I would imagine.
Yeah.
One time I was there and I was talking to the bartender and I asked him like, what's the craziest?
Like, do you like working here?
What are some crazy stories?
And he said the after party for that was insane.
Oh.
Yeah, where they like closed it down, just blowing lines and stuff.
Oh, wow.
Wait, really?
Wow.
Well, I mean, yeah, don't sue me.
A bunch of feet walked in like the brooms and Fantasia.
Oh, my God.
Wait, why are we shocked that like, like,
an after party for some glitzy Hollywood movie they might blow some lines I just like hearing it yeah
I know what I'm doing next time about Musa and Franks pulling out a fat rail they never have
I mean you want to be the first person to do that I have a cool Hollywood Muso and Franks story
yeah once I got up from the table went to the restroom when I came back my friends at the table
said do you know who you walked by eating alone at the bar and I said who and they said
Tom Arnold
Wow
Very exciting
Brush with
Tom Arnold
Very nice to the birthday boys
Back in the day
He was a very
Yeah boys seemed like a lovely man
Mm-hmm
Yeah
He was very nice
He was very nice to us
And then
Nateoids was here
Nate
Your college friend
My college friend
Who you were mentioning
You were listing my college friends
As opposed to the nader
Or are the same guy
No different guy
Okay so
Hold on I just want to clarify
Yeah
You've got Nader
You've got Nadoids
you've got pove
and you've got pove too
these are all Ithaca guys
no Nader is not an Ithaca guy
Okay that's my confusion
Nader's a Quincy guy
Okay got I got it
So Nader's from Quincy
Nadoids from Ithaca
Yeah yeah yeah
We need like a mnemonic to remember that
We call them oids a lot
He came out here
And we thought we saw
Tom Arnold
This is before he helped the birthday boys out
And I was like oh shit
That looks like Tom Arnold
And then we
Nate pull the U-turn
And I got T-Boned
and then he pulled him the gas station
and it wasn't Tom Arnold
and the guy who he thought was Tom Arnold was like
I didn't see anything
he was like an asshole
so he wasn't even a witness
he wasn't even a witness he was like I didn't want to get involved
so yeah Tom Arnold would have been a witness for insurance
Tom Arnold would have probably been helpful I think
I not to harp on this topic
our mutual friend Jesse Ferrar
he's gonna be a guest on our show
I the last time he was in LA I picked him up
and as I was picking him up
Mr. Jack Black walking right down the street.
How about that?
I love Jack Black.
Yeah, me too.
He's a guy who just walks around the neighbor of.
That's what he does.
And then later, Jesse made, I think, one of the funniest jokes,
I've always said one of the funniest jokes I ever heard were I was dropping him off
and we walk up to the place and we walked past another guy, and Jesse turns to me and goes,
oh my God, that was Tom Cruise.
J.F. Speaking of which.
Sorry, Alana.
No, they still have to laugh at your jokes, you know?
I like it.
They're new to it.
You delivered it better than Jesse would because Jesse wouldn't have made me laugh.
Well, JF was telling us that Dan's not actually Irish.
That was the bit of intel he told us in advance.
He said that was stolen about.
Oh, right, yeah.
Yeah.
What would you be if not Irish?
I mean, it's like you're the most Irish.
Don't engage with the lie. Don't engage.
That's what he wants.
He wants to gaslight you, get you into a story.
And we're talking.
Don't you see this is what Trump is trying to do.
to us, you know?
This is the playbook, right?
Yeah, Trump's going after the Irish too much, I think.
That's his main problem.
Just deporting all the Irish people.
We really are not fans of them, you know.
We're going to look into it.
On your Ireland trip, and I'm not well-traveled.
I never crossed the ocean.
A lot of you ever been to Ireland?
I have.
You have.
Okay, so you've all been to Ireland.
Any notable food, like, memories from the Emerald Isles?
Terrible food.
Terrible food.
Wow.
Potatoes, okay, there's that.
Potatoes.
Who is this Gallum figure?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to it.
Maybe terrible.
Oh, racism is funny.
I see.
That's okay when it's the ice.
Well, do you think the food is the main selling point when you go to Ireland?
This one of her grandma over here judging me.
No, I loved it.
I love the potatoes.
Yeah.
What I would say is, you know, my father used to go back a lot more frequently because his parents were Irish immigrants.
You couldn't get a decent hamburger there to like maybe the 2000s.
Wow.
The food was not good.
Yeah.
But it was also like the poorest country in Western Europe.
Sure.
It just, you know.
So now it's actually a bit of a foody destination.
Yeah, I don't.
I bet actually if I went back now and I like researched.
I'm sure there actually is good food there.
They've done a lot of work, like the fish, the lamb, the pork and beef, the meats, the vegetable.
Like, they've done a lot of work, like, you know, with organic, sustainable stuff that's really good.
Because also, you know, not to get into the history, our food was taken from us, Mitch.
It was shipped overseas, you know.
That's what's.
It's true.
Wow.
Look, I'm not beating a half-Jewish, you know, half-Italian lady.
Yeah, I'm not, even a victim complex, so don't even start.
Yeah.
I want to ask about some other Italian restaurants because we ended up doing DeLuca's Italian
deli, but there were some other, you know, the things that were thrown out there.
We talked about Olive Garden, we've talked about Bucca de Bapo, both of which we've done
on the podcast before.
Do you have any affection for any particular big Italian chain?
I'm going to give a little bit of a controversial one.
Go for it.
I fucking love Sabarro.
You love Sparrow.
We had a pretty good experience when we went to Sabarro with our friend, Griffin Newman.
It was a little wet, though.
That was the whole thing.
Well, that was the whole thing.
It was kind of wet.
A little wet.
You know how the pizza gets a little.
I hope we're talking about what I'm thinking we're talking about.
Did we hit our mark?
Yeah.
No, no.
Well, we got to know.
We just, we went in, like, we went to the kitchen because, like, everything was a little wet.
We're like, what's going on here?
We went into the Sparrow kitchen.
the sub-mariner was working the grill.
Yeah, that was part of the issue.
That's so stupid.
When you say what, do you mean greasy?
I was kind of greasy, kind of just like generally had like high moisture content.
I think part of the issue might have been.
Oh, you know what?
Because remember I went back in the back room and the shark tail guys were back there.
That was part of it.
Yeah, all the mafia guys from Sharktail.
Yeah, which I don't know if you guys have covered the Sharktail Mafia guys.
A whole episode on the Sharktown.
Yeah, we'll get to that.
Have you guys, did you cover Whitey Bulger?
Well, actually, Mitch, I mean, this is one like, listen, if Irish Mafia.
You know, schedule pending.
I mean, we'd love to have you on.
Whitey, no bulger, Mitcher.
That's the chemical castration version.
Yeah, no, well, because I'm sure you can relate when I was growing up in Maine as a teenager.
He was on the loose.
Oh, yeah.
And it was always still a big story every time he'd be cited.
And I thought they would never catch him.
Same, yeah.
That they didn't want to catch him and have him come back and tell the story, you know,
because he corrupted the FBI, but caught in Santa Monica.
Living in Santa Monica, California at the time.
It is crazy that I would have, if I saw Whitey Balder at Sonny McLean's where he hung out,
I would have recognized Whitey Balder.
There's no way in the world I wouldn't have recognized.
And at Michael's restaurant, which is like a, you.
You know, a sit-down restaurant that's at the very top of the Santa Monica Promenade.
Could not be hiding more in plain sight.
Whitey Bulger living at the time Natalie and I were living 11 blocks away from where he was caught.
It's just kind of crazy that he was just there for, like, I guess, a decade?
A long time.
Yeah, a while.
And it's that easy to just hide from the law?
You just go someplace and you just hang out?
I don't know.
I went to Hawaii and there's some remote.
It's the most remote in the United States.
But he wasn't.
He was an apartment complex and one of the most densely populated.
cities in the west coast it was like you know i think it i think it's because it's l.a and he's an
italian mobster it's like sure yeah yeah i mean there's just so few of us here i feel was he
irish oh he was irish but he was irish yeah but but it's like you know he i mean he was
interesting too in that he essentially was the mafia in boston by supplanting them through snitching
all the actual italian mobsters to the fbi and um yeah and uh also
got a there's that great 30 for 30 about his infiltration of the
NHL as well. Oh, and he did uh, what was the, what was the other sport? That
weird, uh, high lie. High lie. Oh, wow. He's a high lie guy. Yeah, and
murdered an executive over that. So just a bizarre. So the point is, we would
love to do that sometime and that might be a few episodes. Wow. I think. Yeah. But I
feel like there's no, maybe not, you would recognize him, but not everyone is as special as you
are. Black mass was not like well received. It was a bad.
It was kind of a bad movie, which is not, you know, like, Goodfell is one of the best movies.
One of my, I forever listed as my favorite movie.
I love Goodfellers.
I'm right there with you.
But Black Mask, the Whitey Bulger adaptation, although the Departed was somewhat inspired by Whitey Bulger.
Yes, certainly the way, though, all the snitching that you mentioned.
Well, we just made fun of The Departed in another episode of The Rats.
We want to get on the headgum screen behind us, the rat occasionally walking behind.
I love that rat.
I like that little rat.
We talked about, I was like when I was in college and I saw that scene for the first
time and I was like, whoa, man, cinema.
This is fucking deep.
It's like the rat as the guy in the movie.
I'm really high.
Yeah, right.
I saw that on, I came out on my birthday.
Wow.
My first year in L.A.
Wow.
My first full year in L.A.
My first birthday.
Not true.
My second birthday in L.A.
and I saw it at the man's Chinese theater.
It's the first time I ever went there.
Very cool.
It was a...
Talk about a birthday boy.
It was in that...
And then I became a birthday boy shortly after that.
Birthday boys hadn't even been invented yet.
Question.
What's your sign?
Libra.
Oh.
The scales.
Mm.
They're creams.
But you have...
You like Sparrow, despite the fact that based on our experience, it was kind of wet.
Which I think part of it was because we got in the kitchen and Prince's side of
Don was there.
But sorry, but yeah, we have a, it's a, it's a, like, you like Sparrow.
Alana, do you have any?
That's a good question.
You know, I don't think I've ever been to Olive Garden.
That's wild.
Which is insane.
You know what?
I kind of like Olive Garden is fine.
Yeah, I think I would like it's a job done.
Yeah.
I'm trying to think I feel like I liked Bucca de Bepo when I went there.
I think, but Bucca de Bepo, I think has gone, gone downhill a little bit.
Although, Amelia, you recently had your Bucca de Bapo experience and you did enjoy it.
I loved the atmosphere.
You love more the kits of it.
The food was kind of whatever.
Exactly.
The food was mid, but that cup room.
Like a Sicilian farmhouse?
Is that what it's supposed to be like?
Or what is...
It's like Italian-American food.
It's like the white and red checker.
Oh, yeah, I love that.
A red sauce joint.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Okay.
I'm into that, yeah.
What other ones are there?
I mean, there's like Carabas, there's Romano's Macaroni grill.
There's Maggiano's, you know.
Pizzeria Uno, Chicago.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
have we opened on the pizzerias there was an italian there was an italian fizzolis the italian sandwiches were the next boom right and i'm i don't think i was
wrong. I, it's happening.
It's happening. When did you call
this, though? Was the boom already happening?
No, I was saying that's the next thing.
I mean, like, maybe I had seen a sandwich shop
that was, but I was like, you don't, you don't,
you're not giving me any credit here. What the fuck?
I don't know. I just don't know how sage this
was. Oh, sorry.
A much of a soothsayer you were. I think you were seeing a trend
that was already in motion. Someone look it up.
Stop, stop moving the fucking thing. One of you guys, look at up. I told you
stop moving the thing. Stop moving
the thing. I'm not moving it anymore.
I'm moving around all I want
A piece of shit
I'm not for my sake
It's for Emma
It's for editing
Someone at headcom's going to send me that clip
Be like I wonder why the mic arms broken
One
They're not going to notice
They're not going to watch our podcast
They're not even going to be here
It's fine
They don't even exist
We haven't seen
It's like the whiz
This is the hotel in the Shining
When we walk around in here
You know
Um
Yeah
A bunch of flies
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Right.
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I do remember Mitch saying that lasagna is back.
Well, do you want to share your experience with lasagna?
Because lasagna was not back today.
It does seem like lasagna was not back.
As we get into a DeLuca's Italian dally,
DeLuca's Italian deli, first opened in 2010 at the Americana
as partnership between L.A. Mall Kingpin, Rick Crusoe.
and Tancredi DeLuca.
There's no second location
of the Century City Mall,
which is closed at the time.
I was going to go yesterday.
I was going to bus over there.
I was walking the bus stop.
I went to check the hours on my phone
just to make sure it was,
you know, just to make sure
it didn't close after lunch
or something like that.
And it was closed until October.
So, yeah, unfortunately.
What did you do after that?
You have like a falling down type of day?
No, it got on the train
in the other direction.
Right?
Then he tried to get brown or like that was the dark line.
Oh, wow.
So the eponymous DeLuca of the DeLuca's Italian deli had a notable L.A.
restaurant Amici and some other ones as part of his restaurant group that Caruso was a fan of.
So that's what leds to Caruso partnering with him.
From an NBC4 article about its opening, Anthony Poon and John Kim of Poon design were in charge of the deli's look.
Now look, it's a man's name.
We just hit an hour literally on the dot, as you said.
said that. It was like Anthony Poon
and John Poon? It's a man, John
Kim. It's a man's name, but
Poon design is a funny name for a
company.
Like my college buddy.
Poon and Poon 1 and Poon 2.
Poon 2. Poove design.
So,
I mean, like, I'm curious because
this place was, I will admit, was not on my radar.
I am, I have of course, very aware
of Rick Caruso as someone who is such
a, you know, an omnipresent
figure in L.A.
future mayor what's that future mayor future mayor he tried he ran for mayor once before and didn't get it i mean i think he's probably going to run again and you know he certainly was a uh was was out front and center during the la fires with his privatized firefighting squad um the protecting his properties you you have a the dan this was a place that you pitched deluca's italian deli and you said this was not only like what you wanted to cover this was like your number one pick it was because i'm i'm i'm with
Mitch on like I said, I had to give up a lot of the junk I like eating. Sure. And the last thing I have
left are Italian sandwiches. Wow. That's kind of it. Like that's the last thing like that.
And LA, I think to the surprise maybe of some people listening is a very good city for, I mean,
you're like giving me the, but I'm serious, like, there's a lot of great Italian delis here
serving Italian-American-style sandwiches. Wow. And, um, and, um, and, and, and,
And this is a place I go to every now and again.
So, and it's a chain, you know.
Base cities notably is that the place I think of in Santa Monica, the great Italian sandwiches.
But, but, but, like, is, like, what are the other-
Shut down because of, shut down.
Yes.
Because of health issues.
Briefly.
But we, like, two that are really good in L.A.
That are super fucking far from you.
And then people are like, it has good, good Italian sandwiches.
But not per cap.
It's not like in New York, though, where it's like even the worst.
That's true.
No, Italian sandwiches, New York is, like, as good as.
I agree with this thing.
I 100% agree with yourself.
Yeah, I think that's inarguable.
It has to be conceded.
What are the places that you like?
All right.
So we have Roma Market, right?
In Pasadena.
Now, this is like, to me,
I said this before,
this is like the punk music version of the sandwich
compared to the Bay City's
Prague rock opera.
Where it's a very,
it's just called the sandwich.
cost seven bucks, and it's the best fucking thing you've ever eaten in your life.
The guy who invented it is 90 years old.
He still works there, and you go there.
It's like, you get two of those.
You're in heaven.
What's on this bad boy?
Yeah.
Where is this place?
In Pasadena.
I know of this place.
You know this place?
I know.
The best bread you've ever had, and then like maybe two or three Italian meats, cheese,
olive oil.
That's it.
Wow.
And it is the best fucking thing you've ever eaten.
I can't speak highly enough of it.
What's it called again?
Roma market.
And it's just the sandwich.
That's how singular it is.
You go up, they got a big case of them just sitting there waiting for you, you know, already made.
Yeah.
And you're out.
So that one, I think Mario's and Glendale.
Okay.
That's another Italian deli.
It's been there forever.
There's somewhere in the valley, but I'm forgetting.
That's where I'm, I do.
And it's the least, I'm the least traveled there.
But there's also, like, bougier ones like Bob and Grandmas.
Oh, yeah, Bubbing Grandmas.
Oh, I would know.
never think of that as an Italian sandwich place.
But it does an Italian sandwich.
I haven't had it from there, but I like their sandoes.
Yeah, it's amazing.
But now we're just talking about like the gentrification sandwich.
You know what I'm talking about.
Where it's like the fancy bread, they have an Italian version.
But it's not like, to me, I'm like they need to have multiple Italian.
Eastside deli Italian market.
That's one.
Yes.
Where's that one?
That's more.
It's my Dodgers Stadium.
Oh, yeah, by Dodgers.
But you're right.
It's like, it's like, yes, you can find the $17.
dollar sandwich named after an NPR personality that's a good Italian sandwich, but it's not
really what you're thinking of when you're talking about. Yeah, I'm thinking of all of the
sandwiches on the menu are Italian-style sandwiches and there's like the different
variations. Well, that would, yeah, so that would be Roma Market, Bay City's, Marios, and there's a few
others. Which one? Giata. Giata. Giata is like another new, I feel like more new-fangled
place, right? But I do like Giata sandwiches. And I have to say about Giata, good, but I can't
believe i'm saying this believe me they put too much stuff on the sandwich sure umga pachka
break that down for me it's it's one too many things it's got too many components a little bit
i got a tuna sandwich there once where i i was like i'm not a shark i can't i can't do this right
yeah i can't do this at this moment in my life right now you're not you're not the uh the chef
working behind the counter at sparrow it's a shark yeah it's bruce the shark yeah it's bruce
the shark he's wearing a yellow chef hat yeah from jaws from jose fighting nemo uh Bruce the
shark is is the is the is the shark from Jaws oh that's the name of the mechanical yeah they haven't made
a you know he made five movies I mean four movies but uh but he hasn't worked in a little bit
well he had a drug problem I heard yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah he's a thing yeah uh he's
into uh I I I know we were all searching for okay so what's the follow up what's the drug the shark is on
yeah wait give me a second okay hold
Hold on.
PCP.
It's pretty good.
Angelfish dust.
Angel fish dust.
That's good.
That's good.
Shark.
Come on, guys.
Come on.
Come on.
You say shark meth?
Yeah, shark meth.
What is shark?
It just made from chemicals.
They get out of boats.
Like out of like boat.
Yeah.
Pollution.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on, Mitch.
I heard that he was
At Muson-Franx who
He did a line of
Crilcane
This shouldn't be this hard
This
I mean if Paul Rest was here
He'd be fucking firing him off
And I'm you know
I thought Crocane was pretty
I liked it
Crilcane was the best I could do
We all did good
What about an opiate style?
Okay
Um
Fintanol
Fentanol
Fentanol
Fentanyl
It's fentanyl
It's fentanyl
Everyone's favorite drug, Fintinol.
But we got there.
That's the stuff too far.
All the sharks are just dead immediately.
Yeah, right.
What did you say?
Oh, that's from fentanyl.
Yes.
Finanol, yeah, Fentanyl, a tough drug.
Fentanyl killed.
Sharks.
So, okay, wait.
Easy segue.
Let's go.
Wait, wait, wait, what has too much?
We were talking too much tuna.
Giata.
Giata, yes.
They tend to over stuff things.
And I did not mean to bite the John Malini bit of literally saying too much
you know but um i just realized i was saying that like a whiny old man but a little bit
you know um yeah but then there's this new place that open was it pinos in los filas yeah all right
yeah the panini yes this is now this is where i was saying awes that i said i said that i said
italians are in and look you guys figure it out figure it out figure that shit out let go of the
mic okay he is throwing the mic stand like the apes in 2001 everyone out figure it out
I wonder if that would work on the,
I wonder if it worked.
Do you think it worked?
If it worked oligsonically?
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
Yeah, it worked.
Yeah, sure.
Like you were trying to make an echo effect
as you were moving the microphone away for a audio listener.
Yeah, it might have worked.
We'll see what happens.
Uh, sorry, Emma.
Emma's first thing she told us from here is don't touch the, uh, my arms.
And then it reminded you of it and then out of spite you were to wiggling it as much
as possible.
You, you guys figured out, I said, I, I, I, thumb in your eye.
I put both of my thumbs in your eye.
fucking car I hope you do
fucking fucking smash my head in the ground
like the mountain in Game of Thrones
thing is gonna be empty here ended in the headgum studio
as soon as I go past your eyes I'm gonna go fucking
right to the bottom there's gonna be nothing in there you fucking
empty headed piece of shit
wait you can't now I'm stupid
yeah you're dumb too you piece of shit
someone's been hitting the krill cane
I think yeah
you guys figure it out
I talked about how Italian is in
Italian is in
this is, in those
feelas they have one of these sandwiches, I went to
all, years ago, pre-pandemic,
I went to all Anticoaggs, and
then you and me and Emma
and Amelia went to all,
and Mike, and Mike was there in Susser, the whole crew was there.
After saucy nugs. Yeah,
he went to the KFC Sossi Nugs event over
at a dispensary in Venice. It was real weird,
and then afterwards we got sandwiches.
That was a little weird. Yeah, it was so strange.
Susser brought his saucy nugs, the influencer event.
Oh, yeah, Susser brought a sandwich.
Yeah, Susser brought a sandwich.
Yeah, Sestor wouldn't let us hold his sandwich
while he went into the bathroom.
He brought it with him.
Bizarer moves.
Hold it down the baby changing table
and put the fucking sandwich on it.
Comes out with no sandwich.
Comes out with a sandwich wearing a diaper.
Fuck.
I liked Allantico
quite a bit and we liked it.
I think we liked it.
It was good.
I mean, like, when I had it.
They're huge. The sandwiches are just,
it's like the size of an 8 by 11 piece of paper.
is the size of the bread, right?
They were, like, ginormons.
Yes, and when I had it in Florence,
it was, like, one of the best sandwiches I ever had.
It was great.
And this is almost 10 years ago now, which is insane.
But, like, it was great.
And now there's a bit of a, like,
they say with this sandwich spot,
it's like there's only one in Italy and one year.
Why would they, that's just what's so funny is, like,
L.A.
We're going to L.A.
Yeah.
Not New York.
And I don't know.
And you were saying that there are lines out of the door,
which is good.
I know that on the first.
day there was a line.
Someone told me that.
This is Pino we're talking about,
as opposed to Antico,
which you're just mentioning.
Which was,
and also that was the east side Italian market deli had,
that was their second location and then it closed.
Yeah.
Why did it not do?
I like that place.
Yeah,
I don't know.
Like in the original is like an institution that will probably never close,
but this is this new,
this new spot.
Look, Italian sandwiches are on the rise here a while because I wasn't wrong.
Well, and the other,
I forgot, another one in the bougier column is
the is the Larchmont deli.
Sure.
Wine and cheese you're talking about?
Yes, that is also, it's just a very good sandwich.
That's, that has stuck around for a very long, that has been a, a stall worked in the, in the, in the writer's room, the, what the hell are you looking at here?
Nothing.
You were just fucking zoned out.
I'm listening.
It was just a, I was, first off, I'm listening.
I also know, because the way this is fucking shot, it's on your coverage while you're talking.
So if you just talk and no folks.
us on me. We don't have this fucking weirdness.
We don't have this cutaway. It looks like you were looking into
the abyss. Look at that. It's fine.
I was just looking. Let me look. Let me
live. Just talk. Do the fucking show.
Guys, guys, can I just suggest
we get chemically castries and be done
with it?
Calm down.
You were looking at the plants. I didn't know if you were looking at
something. There's too much tea happening.
The tea has been spouserone. Also, by the way.
Yeah, that's a problem with the doughboys. Too much tea.
That's never been an issue.
The roof in here.
That's never been an issue.
First, it was sexual, now it's violent.
What else?
What's next?
There is something on the coaster under one of the plants that I don't know where it came from.
I don't know if you could see it under there.
It's pretty random.
No, it's just.
What the?
It's a baby.
It's a random sticker of a baby.
Oh, wow.
Whose baby is that?
No clue.
You little baby.
Don't put it back on the baby.
That's where it belongs.
I thought of another Italian deli.
It's actually one of my favorites in L.A.
The Heights Deli.
Yeah, yeah, that is good.
That is a, in the, like, liquor store gas station, right?
Yeah, it's like a bottle shop, and they have, like, Italian sandwiches.
Really?
They're so mad at me.
If you're talking, just talk.
Don't focus on me.
Shut the fuck up.
I wonder how many seasons it'll take for us to get to this point.
Don't ever sit.
I'll answer a one and a half.
Yeah, we're already starting to eat each other, I think.
This is news to me.
but it starts
one of them starts hitting you
for me for Nick
it's fine that you commented on that
what was I even talking about
I don't remember I'm just realizing now
you are the wiger of our pod
and I am the Mitch of our pod
No I thought it was the other way around
Well which is it?
Well why do you think
Okay well why do you think I'm the Nick?
I think I look like I'll be more than Nick
but actually I'm more than Mitch
Hmm interesting well you don't look like either of us
That's true
Are you sure?
Because I really tried.
She was up all night.
My beard is.
She hasn't really come in yet.
Look, I called that it was going to be Italian sandwiches.
There's a new place here.
I hope that it does well.
I like a new Italian.
But there's also a place at the Americana, which is like Italian chocolate.
As opposed to Deluca Italian deli, a different spot.
Yeah, a different spot.
I wasn't aware of it.
That just popped up.
Not the Dubai chocolate.
What the fuck?
What fuck is it?
Or is it just the Dubai chocolate place?
Astro-Turfing Dubai chocolate like it's a thing.
What is it?
I love how I refuse to read.
You know how like you see something you keep seeing it?
You're like, I'm sitting this one out.
Kiss and Joanna Gaines.
Who are they?
I don't know, but I see them at every supermarket.
I've had to learn that.
I'll tell you.
Okay, all right.
But explain Dubai chocolate to me.
I don't know what, this is making me feel like Alex Jones where I'm like,
there's a war on for my mind to make me know what Dubai chocolate is.
No, yeah.
They just made it up.
It's like pistachio.
something covered in chocolate, right?
Like, they all have...
It's good.
But why is it everywhere?
That's the thing, yeah.
I don't know.
I think, I really think it's astro-turfed.
I really think it's a thing someone came up with like three years ago and they're presenting, they're presenting it like it's some tradition that's existed for, you know, a millennia or whatever the fuck.
Okay, you know what?
I'm wrong about this.
Yeah.
I was saying that this place is, uh, is Italian.
It is not.
Okay.
Uh, Venshi.
The benchy chocolate.
The place on the corner.
It's like on a corner.
And it's not.
What is it?
I think it's Prussian, I believe.
Okay.
It says a king of Prussia, Pennsylvania.
So it's not even really Prussian.
Well, that's different than Prussian.
Yeah, yeah, no shit.
We're saying dead empires.
Venchi, I don't know what Venci.
I'm a Prussian American.
There's new Ottoman restaurant.
You got to try.
This is my grandfather's spiked helmet that he passed down to me.
Hold on a second.
Okay.
our story began back in 1878
with Silviano Venchi
Oh, I think I was all right here
A young 20-year-old man
Okay
Spend all the savings on two bronze caldrons
And start experimenting with chocolate in a small chop
On Via de Glee
Arctece, the neighborhood of
Venchiglia Torren
This podcast sucks
It's fucking horrible
do you want to take that again
Wager
Wage you want to take that podcast stuff again?
For the love of God, don't take it again
keep it exactly like that
Sorry what did you say it's our fault
Everyone's going to say this is the worst
episode of all time
Vinci is Italian Wax
I was right
The Italian thing is still spot on
Congratulations there is another Italian restaurant
At the Americana
brand where the original DeLuca's Italian deli opened
DeLuca's Italian deli opened
DeLuca's I'm saying
It's another
It's another popular Italian
You're just trying to get, you're trying to looking for data points to reaffirm your thesis
and say you're ahead of the curve.
You're grasping at Italian straws.
We can't say that we, what are?
Well, you know what the perfect?
They're red, white, and green.
The first start.
We should get into our food.
We got it to Luca because that is the order of the day.
Mitch, you got a fiery steak sandwich.
I actually thought this episode was going well.
So when he said this podcast sucks.
Yeah, me too.
I thought that I thought so too.
Yeah, I thought so.
We're doing great.
The three of us thought we were.
having a good episode. We're doing great. I wasn't talking about the episode. I was talking
about the podcast in general. You're going to argue with that? No, I agree with that.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Fiery steak, sliced tomato, arugula, melted provolone cheese, homemade, spicy avocado
spread and toasted chabata. So this is a thing that I think, Alana, you pointed out.
Spicy avocado spread. We're already not in Italy. It's guac. Yeah, this is quack.
Yeah. We're doing this. Such a good point. Yeah. I've noticed that in L.A.
Yeah. They just love to like, just, just like, we're just throwing guac on it.
Yeah. Here's some avocado. What did you think?
of that sandwich. I liked it. Wow. Mamma Mia. I can't help myself. I like how he still said it
with the Massachusetts'ist Mama Mia. Do you kind of like everything, though? No, I know. In fact, I don't. I don't. You know,
food, I don't know. I think I do like a lot of food and I do, we're pretty nice to a lot of things on
the podcast. I feel like there's, we eat a lot of dog shit and I think we're nicer to it than
a lot of other people. I don't know. I think we can be pretty harsh. We'll give places one fork.
We'll go place zero forks of a dessert.
You're the broken plate club.
Yeah, we've gone, we will go after a place.
But I think we're usually trying to compare it to, you know, it's sector, what it's trying
to do.
Yes, you're not comparing it to a five-star.
Not comparing this to base cities, you know what I mean?
Comparing this to like a chain version of this sort of thing.
I, yeah, I would have rather have gotten the Italian at Subway.
Wow.
So you got, the Italian sandwich you got was.
100%.
That is so good.
Panino, Al-Pruce, shoot.
Wow.
I'm a mozzarella imported prosciutto with fresh mozzarella, sliced tomato, and lettuce with a sun-dried tomato spread on a toasted baguette.
That did not satisfy you.
No.
Well, first of all, you guys were complaining about, you know, sandwiches being too thick.
Yes.
I don't know.
It's like that's part of it.
Save half of it.
Take half the meat off.
Save it for later.
This had one thin little little thing.
This was a skinny guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was really skinny.
Yeah.
And then there was way too much of the spread, so it was soggy.
Oh, no, yeah.
Real thin, too.
Yeah.
I didn't have any, but it did not look particularly too soon.
Okay, what I kept offering.
I said, take a bite.
You also said it was bad.
And it looked like such dog shape.
You guys are like, yeah, we said, no.
I didn't want to bite.
I feel like the thing that Bay Cities does really well is the composition of the sandwich is
perfect.
Sure.
The bread level, the meat level, the cheese.
And, like, it's just everything has their season, you know?
Exactly.
A huge part of it is the.
ratio. Like you don't want one thing
overpowering. Subway? You do
a Italian from a subway. An Italian
an Italian BMT.
Wow. I remember the spicy Italian? So I mean
Peponi. Oh, sure. Best Meets
Trio. Served by light Jared. Not
Doc Jared. I'm sorry.
That's me being very mean. No,
I think that's, I mean, I think it's reasonable. At least on Subway, I can
customize it and put on my Chipotle sauce.
They no longer employ a pet. Well, wait a minute. If you want the
Chipotle sauce, that was a part of the issue with, because
there was Chipotle sauce popping up.
in some of these sandwiches.
We'll get to it.
Dan, you got the Pinino Agli Afatati Misti.
A whole bunch of Italian words in here.
A soda cold cuts, spicy salami,
mortadella, and Italian ham
with sliced tomato, lettuce,
and Swiss cheese on toasted baguette.
I just wanted to get your classic Italian sandwich.
Sure, right.
You know what I mean?
Like, grew up mostly in Maine, Italians, right?
Like, and then, you know, Chicago has them too,
and L.A., we've already talked about.
So I wanted to get the benchmark for that.
And here's the way I would describe it.
That's the sandwich I get before I go to the movies at the Americana.
Right.
And it's at that exact level of good.
That makes sense.
Which is to say mid.
Yeah.
It's mediocre.
Yeah.
Let's be real.
I do think yours was the best, though.
Because you got to just go for the classic and not.
I'm perfectly satisfied.
Yeah.
Wait, is this one your go-to or do you usually get something else?
I've gotten the portchetta there before.
But I remember that even, it's mid.
Yeah, sure.
It's at the Americana.
Nothing's knocking your socks off.
No.
And if there was another sandwich option there, I would have that before I go see, you know, weapons.
Yeah, or whatever.
You know, I would know where I went when I went up to when I went to Nordstrom to get my suit for, um, Tiff.
Tiff.
Yeah.
For Napa boys at Tif.
Toronto International Film Festival.
I, uh, I went to a place.
We went to Bar Verde or Verde or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, Bar Verde up there.
No, it's the, Bar Verde is the bar slash restaurant at the top floor of the Nordstrom at the Americana Brun.
Oh.
Yeah, all the Nordstroms have their own, most, a lot of the Nordstroms have their own restaurant, and they're usually branded differently.
I got a turkey club.
They were out of bacon, though.
Yeah.
They used to have, like, the Nordstrom cafe.
I know, I know.
It's not a turkey club, then, is it?
I know.
It was a little bummed by it, yeah.
You know.
Sorry, we're having a separate conversation about the Nordstrom cafe.
That was fun, though.
It was like a party where two people would break up.
off into, I was like, that's a turkey club?
There was, I had a turkey club and there was no bacon.
They were like, we only have a little bit of bacon left.
And then there was, and then when they gave me the sandwich, there was no bacon.
So I was like, oh, weird.
So, and then you really, really abusive towards the weight stuff.
So you go back to the kitchen.
Oh, yeah.
Interesting.
I have always been fascinated by the idea that you can rent out one of the condos at the
Americana on Airbnb.
I don't know what you would, I mean, it'd be cool.
You can also live there.
You can also live there.
There's their apartments there.
Yeah.
We know someone who lives there.
It's true.
We've said who it is before.
Bugman.
I think about it every time I'm there.
I love that hack storyline that they get her an apartment.
Oh,
Nick, what did you get?
Wow.
Thank you so much for asking.
I don't care.
What never does it on this podcast?
What did I get?
I got the Panino vegetaraniano.
Oh, fuck.
lock. Jesus Christ. Vegetariano? Panino vegetariano. I do like that the singular
of pinini is pinino. Yeah, right. It's fun to say. One, you, uh, one pinino. I thought it was the
male version. Not after chemical crisp. Sautayed spinach, roasted bell peppers, tomatoes,
avocado, and goat cheese served on country whole white bread. Now, before we get into this, Amelia,
you ordered yourself a lasagna. Do we want to get into this lasagna incident? And do you have the
audio available? Yes, I do. Okay.
Well, I went to go pick up the food, and when I got there, I usually count everything to make sure everything's there.
There were a couple items missing, so I asked them for them, and they were really nice about it.
They're like, all right, one second, let's just get all your stuff.
So I took everything, I had everything taken out of the bag.
Yeah.
And once I got the missing items, I put everything back together.
and I left
and as I'm walking to my car
I see a missed call on my phone
and a voicemail
this is the voicemail I got
Jimmy just got up to stretch
Hi my name is
I'm with the Lucas Italian Deli
you just picked up your
charno order I think when you were packaging
everything back up you left the lasagna on the table
if you're nearby and you're able to
get it I have it
Just give us a call back.
What a nightmare.
Oh, I can say to that as Maron.
I was just like, oh, Maron.
I was running a little bit late, and my choice was go back and get the lasagna and be late
or get to the studio and leave it behind.
Well, you made the right choice because we would have fired you, right, Nick?
I say I always choose the food for us.
I think you should have got to the lasagna.
I think you should have gone back and go to lasagna.
I think it's out of your mind.
Probably still would have eaten Mitch.
I actually left later because you said you was going to be 10 minutes late.
That's not a lie.
The parking situation at the Americana could be crazy sometimes.
Yeah, it's a huge complex.
It would have added another 15 minutes.
Yeah, no, yeah, for sure.
It's anyway, we're sorry if you lost your lasagna.
I kind of think it's abusive.
You have to go to the Americana.
That's insane.
If we had done the Tesla diner, it would have been much worse.
We talked about doing the Tesla
Tesla diner and I think
we were a little like is that because
I mean I think it would probably suck.
There's like three options on the menu also.
They keep contracting the menu.
Why is just working? I'm not doing shit.
I'm working but I think we're also like
it's one of those things like
even if we go and shit on this place
I think our little weaners are going to get mad at us.
The dough boys are supporting the Elon Musk cafe
by going to Tesla diner and saying
they said it was bad but they still gave money to Elon.
Shut up.
Yeah, shut up.
Anyway.
I like that voice you do.
Yeah, that's our fan.
What do you got in your?
What do you got in?
Let me look through your house.
Let me see what you got in there.
Yeah, what do you got in your house?
What are you got in there?
Let me see a walk through of your house.
Let me see everything in your fucking house.
I want to see all your possessions.
Oh, that thing, that thing's bad that you got.
You got a bad.
Typing it on your iPhone.
Yeah.
Oh, you like that lasagna?
Well, that lasagna was made by Mussolini.
Yeah, there you go.
This is what we have to.
to look forward to you if we make it, by the way.
But, Amelia, I just wanted to say, first off, thank you for getting the food.
Thank you for raving the Americana.
And I want to give a shout out to because that is a very thoughtful thing to do that I don't think everyone would do at a food place, you know?
Really nice.
Should we bleep her name so that our listeners don't go to the Americana?
I'm like, thanks for what you did for Amelia.
I don't see don't do that to
Am I wrong
She's like I did what for who?
She's gonna sue you like do you
Like do you remember
When Drake used a voicemail from his ex-girlfriend in a song
And then she sued his ass for millions of dollars
Yeah what's she's not consenting to this
Yeah yeah yeah
We're gonna bleep her name
Yeah
Should I put her voice memo through a vocoder or something
Oh, this is
from the, you know,
that's interesting.
I'm curious.
Does a single party consent lot,
like,
does that apply to voicemails
in terms of recording?
That's a good question.
Or that, you know,
like,
I wonder how that works.
Make her sound like ghost face.
There you go.
That's, yeah,
that's an easy lift, right?
Yeah, yeah, totally.
It's just a plug-in.
Yeah, sure.
The ghost-faced, a little toggle.
Emma, you also got the same sandwich that Dan did.
Yes.
What did you think?
It was okay.
It was pretty good.
It's very, it's very simple.
Yeah, right.
kind of like that. It almost has a vibe like I could have made this myself at home.
It doesn't feel like I got some extravagant sandwich, which I kind of liked.
Yeah.
Amelia, it stole a bite of it too. We shared.
Oh, yeah. Everyone was really nice about giving me a bite their scraps.
Yeah, that's not their scraps. Like, you know, substantial parts of their meal.
That's what, that's why I brought that up with Dante this up, because I, you got,
I gave you half of my, uh, pinini vegetariano, vegetariano, Jesus Christ.
What did you think of that bad boy?
I didn't offer you half of my sandwich off the bat
Emily had like three sandwiches
because we all passed pieces
I got I had a lot to eat
I had some of your sandwiches
You did have some of my sandwich but I'd run off the bat
I didn't say here have half of my sandwich I feel bad now
No you're fine
Didn't you get two sandwiches
I did get two sandwiches
I shared the sandwiches with everyone
He did offer up the chicken
If anyone should have given a sandwich
She was free to take any of the sandwich you wanted
In fact you were at the end you were sadly
looking and I realized and you were like
You were like, can I have some?
I was like, let me get in there.
And I was like, yeah, of course.
I wasn't going to just throw it away.
You or the flies were going to eat it.
If I did it by Mike Mitchell.
I think we're on the same page here where it was like surprisingly good.
It was pretty moist, but it was still pretty good.
He was a sparrow level of moisture.
Sparrow level.
For sure, very wet.
And actually, well, I just heard, I heard this that in the back,
the hairnets are kept in Davy Jones.
his locker. Is that true? That is absolutely is true. All right. Well, Amelia, you were at the
restaurant. Did you see anything there? Yeah. What's the vibe? I'm Googling wet guy movies.
Wet guy movies? Aquaman, obviously. Aquaman, yeah. But I think that might have,
those were used last time. What are wet guy movies? I just Googled it as well. Wet hot American
summer is the first one that comes up. Google search going downhill. This is why. Fuck AI.
Yeah, fuck AI.
Useless.
What's that movie where there's a mermaid who, like, turns, who's a woman in Flash?
Yeah.
This is very funny.
The third, so the first thing that came up was wet hot American summer.
The second thing was an IMD wet movies, which, the perfect storm, Titanic, water, water world avatar.
Okay, there's some good ones.
The wave water, open water.
Yeah.
And then the third result is wet jeans, sorted by popularity of it, descending on a
IMD.
Okay.
So some fetishes put together every movie in which you see like Martin Sheen and
Wet jeans or something.
Cool.
What's on there?
Lost.
Okay.
Smallville.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 drive.
There are a lot of wet jeans movies.
Every movie has water in it.
Well, not all of them have jeans, you know, a costume, like, you know, sense and
sensibility by Jane Austen, no jeans.
We did a, in Boy Scouts, we did a, we did a, we did a, uh, a, a, uh,
relay that was involved
is so fucking weird, but I think it was
supposed to be like a survival lifeguard
thing where you were wearing
clothes while you were swimming a lap.
Right. So you know how to do that. Yeah, exactly.
So I do remember swimming in jeans.
Like Navy SEAL training? I guess so, yeah.
I guess
the idea is if if you go overboard, it would
be like you'd be that way, you'd know how to handle
yourself in the water. No, it's crazy.
It makes that IMDB ranking.
Video of your Boy Scouts
is on there. Wiger Troops.
Now, Nick, just correct me from wrong.
That was not Navy SEAL training, was circus seal training?
Is that right?
That's right, yes, yeah.
Bounced a ball on my nose.
Amelia, you were going to say something.
I was going to say that, you know, when I picked up the food, I went back into the kitchen
because I was like, why is this bread all wet?
Yeah, you've got to go back to the kitchen.
So I went back there and SpongeBob Square Pants.
Oh, my boy, that would explain it.
That makes total sense.
favorite yeah yeah so alana when you were noticing what did you notice anything odd in the kitchen
back then put me on the small and say it as rfk please um what's that west anderson
movie life aquatic yeah steves his zoo oh my god he was back there no worry was back there
with a little fucking beaner.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I didn't mind that pinino. I thought it was pretty good. I also got a, I also got a, I mean, like, you know, I didn't have high expectations for it.
The goat cheese just kind of like cut all the moisture a little bit. Can we talk about goat cheese though? Yeah, sure. I am, you're not a fan? No, I'm not. I'm sorry. I was just, it's hot.
It's hot in here. It is a little toasty. We turned on the AC. I've heard that there's an issue that there is like a big fly cluster.
in front of one of the ducks
so we might have some wet jeans
anyway I'm sorry I'm sorry I was just kind of
taking a deep breath I love how Anya left and was like
everything will be fine and then everything's falling apart
immediately no one's here anyway
Anya's living on the other side of the country now we have no one in
studio actually managing this place and everything's
falling apart there's flies here
there's more flies in human it's so fucking hot
yes I am wearing a hoodie by choice for style
but still it's fucking hot as shit I didn't even realize
it was hot in here until you said that and I was like
oh my god it is sweltering in here it's so fucking
it gets a little warm and this
studio specifically the other one is cool
yeah yeah yeah and also
there's a ton of flies I think we might
have a conjuring situation
there's dead bodies also there has to
I honestly think it is a congering is happening
no one's flushing the toilets
yeah yeah yeah no that's just you guys
I got a large pulpitine to share
I got that because it sounded like palpitaine
guy in Star Wars
Yeah. This is traditional Italian Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars movies.
The Palpatine is traditional Italian meatballs and peas with tomato sauce.
These meatballs sucked. I think they're pretty fucking bad.
I think it's Pulpetti.
Pulpetti? There's an N in here.
Oh, what the fuck?
Pulpeteen?
Never mind. Ignore me.
I don't know. Look, the only reason I ordered it is because it sounded like Palpatine.
But that said, I think this was a pretty good gauge of their meatball quality because those meatballs in isolation were pretty pissed for.
They were really.
Me meatballs were bad.
They were real fucking bad.
That made me sad.
I compared them to just like, like, soggy croutons.
They were kind of insubstantial.
They were pretty flavorless.
Like, like, how are they?
They had a weird aftertaste waggs, I thought of meat weird.
Yeah, no, they just stayed in your mouth.
They kind of small.
Sort of a cat food feeling.
Yeah, I thought they were fucking gross.
I thought that I eat cat food, but.
I've smelled cat food enough to know what it tastes like, and you're right.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Let me ask for this.
Do you like when your cat comes up to you and has the cat food breath?
Yes.
I do, too.
It's cute.
There's something cute about it.
Okay.
I also like when Gemmy has like dinner kibble breath.
I kind of get it.
Oh, yeah.
A familiar stench can be endearing.
I'll like, I'll like put my finger near my cat's mouth and they'll chew on and I'll get a little.
Oh, my God.
Cute.
Now, you have a dog.
Yeah, no, no.
Yeah.
Do you, like, does she eat anything ever?
Let's start there because she's very small.
No, she's getting a little fat.
Actually.
She's 11 pounds now.
Wally's 14 pounds.
And.
She's got a little gut
And we got to work her out
You got a Yorkie, right?
Yeah
So that's a small dog
11 pounds for a Yorkie
A little bit of extra girth
Yeah
She was supposed to be
Five pounds
But she just keeps
Here's the thing about Yorkies
They're secretly sort of big
Big boys
Interesting
Big boys and girls
They're like stocky
I asked the vet about Wally
I was like
Because he's nine years old
It was you know
He's middle age
Sure
But you know
Many many years left
I hope
and I asked the vet
I was like should I start putting him on a diet
because he's 14 pounds
and she was like no he's healthy he's doing well
why you don't got it's a baby boy
she's like yeah yeah and she's like maybe if
you know if it gets heavier we gotta put him on the diet or like
the opposite of doctors because doctors
are just like you're
you're actually average weight so you should
lose five pounds if that fuck you know
yes that's I mean I am on the shot
I've told you I'm on Zepbound
and uh how's that going
It's gone well
You've lost a lot of weight
You're looking trim
I lost 45 pounds
That's amazing
That's amazing Mitch
Can get to give you man
Are you surprised by that
Over there days?
No
We see you so often
It's so gradual
I see you constantly
So you don't notice it
When you still look good
Yeah yeah
Shut the fuck up over there
You've always looked good
No you know what
You've always looked like shit
There you go
That's the answer I want
You still look like shit
Thank you
Thank you Emma
you're welcome thank you both of you
but yeah
I've lost about 45 pounds
it works the shot works
yeah but my doctor everyone
has always said like I've said this before
but everyone is always like I asked my doctor to get
on that stuff and my doctor told me to take it twice
two years in a row he's like you should take
you should take one of these
trucks and then I did I finally took it
but it is it is helpful as far as
that you can't eat as much I guess
that is sure that's that's the trick
of it. But, uh, we should talk about
though, Wally, I mean, in my reason...
Should we get Wally on Zepound? Well, no, what I was going to say is
the other podcast, you know, Wally's
an enforcer for the Gambino crime family
and it's just, it's not going to end well, okay?
It's not cool, you know?
Mitch, you also got the mozzarella polo picante
sandwich, and I know it's Pollo in Spanish, but
is polo in Italian? Is that correct? Or do you say
pollo as well? It's polo, yeah.
Jeez, I have no idea.
This is black and chicken breast, slightly
spicy um and i will get to that because i would say maybe a little more than
look we were this is something that we discussed before we even got into the sandwich chain of
like what is an italian deli and there's you know there's there's like a there's like a classic
cold cut italian deli but then there's some that have hot subs you know what i mean like
i feel like when you go to one that has like the best italian chicken parm hot sandwich that
that that's you see there's some italian delis like that's
to me, then there's like cold cut
Italian, that's like has a cold case
and they don't have any hot sandwiches.
Like you can go get a pound of ham, shake ham or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
And then on the East Coast, there's so many,
you're spoiled with just so many subshops.
Like you were saying, like,
L.A. has a few good subshops or whatever.
And this place is trying to do a lot of different stuff.
Yeah, this almost tasted like it was like Southern cooking.
It was interesting.
It was a strange.
Yes, because it has sliced tomato, fresh basil, fried onions.
addition to the black and chicken breast,
melted mozzarella and a Chipotle Aoli on a toasted baguette.
Look, I will say this had more heat than I expected.
I'm a bit of a heat seeker, so I enjoyed it.
But I, like, I was not impressed.
I, like, enjoyed the spice, enjoyed the burn,
but it was not necessarily impressed by the composition of the sandwich overall.
I thought it was like whatever, you know.
I don't know.
Did you like it?
I thought it was just okay.
Yeah, it was just okay.
It wasn't bad.
Like, I didn't think the quality of any of this stuff was bad.
Yes.
Necessarily.
I thought the meatballs were bad.
The meatballs were the one thing that I thought was bad, and honestly, brought down my fork score.
We also got some salads.
Dan, you got the insolata caprice.
I also got that as part of the combo salad.
You get three salads in one bin, which they, Gary, just giving you a fucking trough of salad.
Garbonzo salad, insolada caprice, and insolada de Faro is what I got.
And then, Mitch, you got the creamy gameli, rigatoni pasta, and auroquette.
Okay.
The smirk killer.
I should not mean that.
Yeah.
I was trying to be respectful, like, okay, I'll get a sandwich, and then here you guys.
are loading up the order.
No, yeah, you can go nuts.
Oh, it was time to hit the credit card, I'm sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're going to take advantage.
If you're coming on this shitty podcast, you should have taken us for all we were worth.
That said, all of these salads, I thought were pretty whatever.
I didn't really like that was three salads in one bin.
It looks like one big mass.
It is, it basically is one huge.
There's no way you're going, oh, this is the Faro salad and this is the garbanzo.
Yeah.
It's not even a salad.
Like, like, Wyke says it's like a trough of pasta.
Yeah.
And when I tried to differentiate them, I just felt like it was getting the same bites.
It's kind of like a deli salad, like a quinoa salad or something, not like a leafy greens.
Yeah, it didn't help also that Amelia put mine on the floor and I ate out of it like a pig.
Exactly.
We didn't know.
We learned you have a curly tail, which I didn't know.
My tail popped out, which I was embarrassed by that my tail popped out.
But you pull it and get curly again.
It was cute.
And I was, wee.
And whenever you did that, I would we.
Wow, that was cute.
Let me share my Ancestry.com again.
100% farm.
100% USA.
I don't know, Dan, were you all enthused about that, caprice?
In fairness to the place, I kind of forgot that a caprice salad is just cheese and tomatoes.
Yes.
It's all it is.
Well, it's supposed to have the basil.
With some basil.
And the drizzle.
I guess they had.
It was wet.
It looked like it was from the Vaughn's deli counter.
Let's not, let's, let's, I like a capraise.
Let's not knock Vaughans here.
Let's speak.
Let's watch what we say here.
Sub Vaughans.
Maybe.
I think so.
I mean, I didn't.
I mean, no, no, it's a hot take, but it's possible.
I don't want to.
Speaking of hot take, I have something to say in a moment.
Okay.
Hold that thought.
Just, just, just circle back.
These, these salads, I thought were going to be cold.
salads. I got three that were
hot salads.
Wait, is this the thing you're going to say in a minute?
Yes. So you just said it now.
I said it now. I gave up.
I was basically done.
I mean, all I can say is...
You just said, come back to me here. I'm saying it right now.
I gave up. I realized it's not worth holding on to.
I had three hot salads.
You just had to let it go like a resentment.
It was...
I got pasta. I got three things of pasta.
Hot pasta. I thought they were going to be cold salad delicase.
What were they?
Gargameli
Again, not the Smurfs' villain.
Rigatoni, what is it?
Garganzola?
Gargumma.
Let's see what I bring it up. Garbonzo.
No, no, no, not carbonso.
I'm sorry, hold on.
Gameli, rigatoni, and Orchetti.
Gameli, yes.
Gamle's a type of pasta.
Orchetti.
Those were the three.
Okay.
The garganelli was the...
So this salad with like feta was hot?
Yeah, they were all three of them were hot.
They were all warm salads.
Were they all pastas?
They're all pastas.
Okay.
I don't know if they're supposed to be.
It says that the Orichita is supposed to be cold pasta.
Oh, it was hot.
Weird.
Yeah, because you would never have like heirloom tomatoes and feta and basil on a hot.
Because it was sitting on something that was hot.
Maybe it was sitting next to the hot.
I thought so, but it was hot when I first got there.
Oh, okay.
Now, Amelia, when you drove it back, you did put it under the hood, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You keep all of our, we want all of our food warm when it's delivered.
I also, I'm remembering now, because Amelia,
you're like, there was something funny
because I picked up that salad
and then I went back into the kitchen
and the human torch Johnny Storm
was working in the grill.
Yeah, that's right.
That explains it, yeah.
That was crazy.
That was so weird that that happened
the summer that that came out.
It really is.
Yeah, what a coincidence.
Like, it's so, that is actually nuts
that that happened to you.
Yeah.
And I'm saying this,
not that I'm trying to think
of another hot thing at all.
you know, or fiery thing.
Just, just thinking.
Yeah.
I'm just, you know, Charmander was also in there.
God damn it.
Also, I called up in Varang answer to the phone,
who's the villain from Avatar Fire and Ash.
Right, of course, yeah.
I don't know Varang.
It's not out yet.
It will be out and we'll be bringing up for X
because she is looking good.
Yeah.
That Ash, Navi is going to make you think,
forget all about Nataria.
I tell you.
She's looking good.
You know, it's crazy, though, who didn't...
I went in the back kitchen and saw someone endorsing Rick Crusoe for mayor.
It was Satan.
Oh, boy.
You know what?
This all makes sense.
That's a good one.
How crazy is that?
Did you finish your thought?
You were starting to say something that Mitch went on his tangent.
Yeah.
And I don't feel like he ever landed the plane.
I think all I said was that, who am I?
Nathan Fielder?
Come on.
But seriously.
I would say, I don't want to judge the Caprece salad.
too harshly because I feel like I
played myself a little bit on that.
What can I expect from this place?
I'm not, to begin with, it's kind
of a ridiculous food item. You may be played yourself
but you've got to judge
our, it's our duty
as dough boys. And we should
get to our forked scores. And doughboys
boys and girls. You know what? We were going to maybe change it to do
men. We were talking about this. We've grown up.
We're at the age where maybe it should be do men.
Doe people's pretty good. Why do they
need to be gendered? That's true.
Wags and I... Let's go woke.
Yeah.
They're like Disney.
Yeah.
Patreon.
If you go woke, you go broke.
Got him out of here!
Do you know that the Disney,
there were, the, you know, there was those little cottages near, uh...
Near Galsons.
Yeah, near Galsons.
Yeah, that was where he lived, right?
That's where the Imagineers all cheated on their wives.
So this is not a Tamo Shantors?
It's fun. They all went to Tamo Shantors, but, but the, the, the little cottages there.
Have I said this fact?
You have.
But it is fun.
Mitch, wait for the episode we did on the Disney Strike.
Those guys were having a lot of sex in the Disney.
It was a bit of a shock to me that they were.
They were all fucking and sucking.
They were getting goofy, so to speak.
Wow.
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Why, because you know who I go to for help when I'm having some problems?
Who's that?
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Oh, that's nice.
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help.com slash doughboys.
That's BetterHelp
H-E-L-P.com slash doboys.
All right, we should get to our fork scores.
So, Alana, Dan, this is how this will work.
We'll each go around, give a closing argument, if you will,
anything you want to say that sums up your experience
and then give, end the end by giving that a score,
or giving this chain, rather, to Lucas Italian Deli,
a score from zero to five forks.
Alana, seated to my right, you are our guest.
we'll start with you, your thoughts, your fork score for DeLucaz.
Okay.
I'm going to go with a one.
One, four.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
Honestly, the bread.
When I even isolate the elements of this sandwich, it is an abomination to my ancestors.
Okay?
The soggy bread, this disgusting sundried tomato spread that's just sogging the bread.
And then two little prosciutto.
Yeah.
Which, you know how I feel about that.
Just an old piece of mozzarella.
And then Romaine, which is like confusing.
We were going to discuss prosciutto itself.
We were.
Bresu.
Controversial.
What's here your take?
You think it's the top Italian to eat?
I think, yes, I do.
Wow.
And what's your defense of that?
That's a good question.
The salt con, it's just so salty.
Yeah.
It's so tender and kind of disgusting.
I mean, it is.
There's a lot of fat.
It is kind of disgusting.
Eating prosciutto on its own, I'd never, like, if it's wrapped around a melon.
I like it.
That's what I was going to say.
It's so salty.
I don't know why.
I don't know if you're a prosciutto fan.
I like it okay.
I mean,
I'm just,
I'm not really eating pork in general for the most part.
Yeah, you can get sweet and savory,
which is kind of fun.
Like with melon and honey,
it's kind of more sweet.
Yeah, yeah, it has a lot of range.
I might be the only person here who,
what prompted this was me saying earlier.
I kind of don't like prosciutto.
That I,
and the Italian meats I like tend to be like the spicy,
you know.
The Capacool.
I like that.
I was with you in that I don't like it.
I don't,
I remember as a young Irish boy going up to my Italian friend's house
and they were having just fresh prosciutto out of the fridge
and they were just gobbling it down.
And this is when you were working at the cab stand.
That's right.
This is right.
These, my Italian friends were just thrown it in their mouths.
And I tried prosciutto.
I was like, oh, this is weird.
I did not like it.
As I gotten older, I like it, but I like it with other things.
I don't like it straight.
I just straight up prosciutto.
A lot of one fork.
Dan, your thought's your fork score.
So I got.
As Emma said, I just got a middle, down the middle sandwich.
I don't think this couldn't be anything you find a Panera bread.
Sure.
But I'm grading it as this is what I eat before I go to the movies for a matinee showing of the naked gun.
Alone.
And really, Alana, really hammering that I'm going alone.
Hey, nothing wrong with seeing a movie by yourself.
Did you go to like a double feature by yourself the other day?
Where you were like, I was in the movie theater for 10 hours and I was like, oh, weird.
This is fake news.
This is so fake news.
Sounds like a great day.
It does, but I just thought you would go with a friend.
I don't fucking go.
Look, I think Mitch will back me up on the...
Oh, I have an anecdote.
I saw Mitch at the Vista Theater once.
Oh, no.
The lights came up.
Oh, no?
No, no.
Listen, I don't know if this is embarrassing.
His head were down.
No, he was jacking off like peewee.
No.
This was like a...
couple years ago, and I wanted to introduce myself, because I'm such a big fan. The problem was,
it was, without a doubt, the worst possible movie we both could have seen for someone to then
introduce themselves to you after. It was... Zone of interest. Yes. Wow. So, did I see that
was that? I went to that with someone. I forget who I saw that with. I'll tell you after. I think
I recognize the other folks. But anyway, so yeah, I go to the movies alone. Big deal. Who cares?
Trump, JD Bans.
It was Peter Thiel
It was
So with that said
I'm giving it two and a half forks
Two and a half forks
Because I'm going to go see
Zone of Interest later
And Ted
It's back in theaters
Back and re-release
It's in IMAX now
Oh there you go
Yeah so we'll see that
Wise listens to the zone
Intish soundtrack
Yeah just the audio cues
Yeah
I uh
I
Gemmy's back
You're all right over there
Yeah, I'm just like, go on.
It's 100 degrees.
Yeah, I mean, it's fucking hot.
Yeah.
I was just back there, and I think I know why the AC isn't working.
Why is that?
The heat miser was there.
Well, also, there's a thing on this, which is good environmentally that it turns up to 76 degrees, as we just saw.
But I've had it at 60 since we got here four hours ago, so it should be cool in here.
I am not as, I'm not going to be as hard on.
this place is everyone else. DeLucaz. I mean, I don't care about it. And does it feel like a fake
Americana place? Yes, if I, if I'm at the Americana and I want a sandwich, I went to Bar Verde
the other day. And I don't know what great options you have. I've, I've, I've never sat in this
restaurant. I think there's a mic sub's right on. Oh, is there Jersey mics? Yeah. Sorry, that's
I would choose Jersey. Myx is so much. Come on. That's a perfect example. I would choose
100%. I would go to Jersey mics over this, 100%. You know, Portos is right. You know, Portos is
right down the street.
100% any time.
I also, but you know, my steak
sandwich was good.
Would we agree that that was the best
sandwich? I didn't have any, but it, yeah.
I thought it was pretty good.
The salads, the pastas
were okay, the gargonelli was
the worst. Gameli?
Oh, fuck.
Gameli, gamele?
I don't know, I just think of jemmy every time.
It's making me think of jemmy.
She keeps coming in and out because I opened the door.
Is there a Diet Coke in that can or is it empty?
I just don't want to spill over your pants.
I just want to make sure it wasn't going to spill all of your pants.
Then I'd have wet jeans and be on
Yeah.
Actually, in that case, can you spill some on your pants?
Add doughboys to the wet jeans list because I'm sure we've had it.
The doughboys double you can put on there.
Which when I met Thomas Hayden Church on the set of Twist a Metal, he was like, what's the
dough boys double?
He asked me what the doughboys double was.
Because it's on IMD.
Because it's on my IMDB.
And you're like, it's basically sideways.
It's just as much.
high quality of this sideways uh well i think this is for me i'm gonna go right in the middle of the
road because i was like well okay whatever i you know what i like an italian sandwich shop this
is trying to be a little too fancy it seems like and it is definitely not working because no one
here seems to like it i maybe was the one who liked it the most three forks for me right in the
middle wow um it's hot as shit i'm tired yeah been going for a while this meal was maybe okay
that's like I can just kind of damn it with faint praise
I will say that the vegetariano
I still cannot say it did exceed
my expectations just by tasting
like something I expected
to taste like a wet nothing
Rick Crusoe sucks right
we don't like this guy's a piece of shit
Yeah I'm the real comrade here for giving one fork
So you're putting money in his pockets
Yeah I'm not voting for him again
Winneth tricked you the one time
I will do Gwyneth vote for him
She did yeah she endorsed him
I will say
I would have liked to have gone in person.
I tried to.
It was closed.
But I wanted to see what the aesthetic was as conceived of and built by Poon design.
I would have loved to have seen this Poon design exterior and interior.
Unfortunately, I did not get to see Poon's vision.
Speaking of Poon design, I'm never buying another one of your candles, Gwyneth.
But I just didn't, I don't know, I wasn't impressed by any of this.
And, like, I would never go back here.
And if we're talking about, like, a value in this is a chain,
is, like, there's so many places to eat in L.A.
Like, I guess if you happen to be captive in one of these malls,
and this is the specific thing you're craving,
then you want to get a quick bite.
That's the one instance in which it makes sense to go there.
But there's no reason to go out of your way to go here.
If this starts expanding, you know,
regionally or nationally, it's like there's no reason for this to be anyone's
destination Italian sandwich shop.
Do you think it will spread?
Do you think it's going to spread?
No, I think it's going to stay pretty local because that's how Caruso seems to do business.
here, but I'm just saying hypothetically,
like the value in this is a chain restaurant,
I think this is one and a half forks.
Wow.
Shit, I want to be real high.
Yeah, there's just not much to it.
I will say in fairness, having been there,
the decor is nice.
It looks okay in there.
Yeah.
They have the nice thing of like the flavored water,
like the cucumber water.
I do like that.
That's a fun touch, like a hotel lobby.
Very nice.
Spa water.
Yeah.
Spa water, yeah.
And supposedly the coffee's good,
which we didn't get any of this time.
So maybe there's, and it was relatively inexpensive.
I'm just saying this in slight defense.
In context of everything, this high-end shopping center, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, like, whatever.
That was, this is like, we're reviewing DeLuca's Italian deli.
We're about done here, right, Mitch?
We're about near the finish line.
What are you going to hang this up?
You got to reassess this with a clear head.
Okay.
What are you going to done?
Where are we done with Get Played?
Yeah, that's a great question.
Sorry, sorry, Matt, Heather.
I've already been thinking about it.
Guys, if our podcast is blamed
for killing the doughboys, we're fucking never
getting out from around the street for a minute now.
Yeah, no.
We're going to hang out.
What are you talking about?
DeLucus is a great example of why
the show must go on.
Sure.
Wikes, wags, whigs.
Everyone's like,
we're doing great.
Hey, it's time for a segment.
We're going to get a mystery drink and Mitch and Lana and Dan
must divine his contents.
It's the Weiger Challenge.
Amelia, you acquired a beverage for us.
Yes, would you like to participate since you don't know what it is?
I can't, no, I can't participate in the Wiger Challenge.
Oh, so the Wiger Challenge is.
But tell me what it is.
She can't just tell you what it is.
No, well, then they message me what it is.
I'll text you what it is.
There are two varietals.
Wow, okay.
So Emma's going to help me bring them more.
Wow, it's like a wine.
It should have been the Mitch.
I should have taken over.
You can do that soon enough.
Like the Wario Ware version.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm, this is a lot.
Wait a minute, the Mario Ware version.
I don't know.
It's more fun to be warrior.
Thank you.
You can take these.
These are both of them?
Those are both of the same one.
Both the same one.
Oh, so one of those is for you.
Okay, so this is a clear, colorless liquid with a little bit of effervescence.
Okay, it sounds like a soda when I'm smelling it.
I'm smelling almost like a cherry vanilla coke.
Yeah, good nose to it.
Oh, man, it's fucking bad.
Oh, my God.
That tastes like fabuloso.
Yeah, that's really bad.
That's really bad.
I got this air fresheny at a car.
at a car wash for free.
And I'm so thirsty, so I, like, really glugged it down.
That is horrible.
What the fuck is this?
Hold on.
We have another one that is another clear colorless liquid with a little bit of effervescence.
All right.
Take a sip of this some bitch.
Let's take a look at this one.
This is roopier water.
Whoa.
Rupier water.
Yeah, I was going to say, this is clearly a cream soda diet thing.
Yeah, diet cream soda.
That's got to be it.
And this is a rupee.
Oh, this is a rupee.
It's trippy how clear they're both completely.
Clearly, they look like water in the cup.
But it doesn't taste like root beer.
This one's better.
It just tastes like a root beer that's not sweet, which is weird.
Well, it tastes like, it tastes like essence of root beer.
That's right, yes.
It's still strong, though.
It's a root beer salter.
All right.
Both gross, all-time bad Weiger challenge.
Yeah, these are fucking terrible.
No, this, okay, I kind of like this one.
The root beer one?
Yeah.
Here, let me go back to the first one.
The first one is horrid.
Have you had the licker?
The liquid death root beer flavor?
I have, it's weird.
The first one, I think it's pretty disgusting.
I feel like you, if you like that, you might like the liquid death root beer flavor.
Strong after taste, too.
The first one I can't even.
The second one is tolerable.
The first one, I think, is putrid.
Yeah.
Is it a cream soda or is it, there's like a floral citrus thing happening when you see?
I hated, I hated, I hated these.
I hated these.
Worse than piss?
I don't know.
Let's see.
So wait, did you mean, am I, am I, am I pissing this out?
I mean, hopefully.
Yeah, no, wait, like, no.
I wasn't saying was this is the worst thing to piss out than piss.
It was the worst thing to drink than piss.
I got two glasses, piss in this drink.
The other one is.
I was going to say, if I pissed this out, I mean, I guess like your piss would be sticky.
So that also, it would be worse than piss.
It would be maybe in both ways.
That's something else.
And I think we'll have to have a chat after this episode.
All right, though, can we get some, anyone want to guess for the White
We've got two different candidates here.
We can take guesses for both.
Let's start with the first one that we got.
I'm going to guess, I think, cream soda was mentioned.
Yeah.
This is cream soda, seltzer.
Dan is guessing a cream soda seltzer.
Oh, I have an idea.
What do you got?
Maybe it's like a doctor, a diet,
Pib, or, it's something.
sort of like diet or like calorie free sugar free version i don't think it's a
seltzer i think it's trying to be a soda and it has that really horrible like aspartame
sort of yes it's so i mean i really so you're thinking a cal what is your guess a calorie
free like a zero a zero what's like a famous cream soda dr nut in confederacy and dunces
no it's not that's a great name for a soda you know i'm gonna say like you know like those
New York deli drinks.
Yes.
I'm going to say it's like a roopier
New York.
Yeah, but there's like a New York one
that's like, remember those?
I'm guessing the first one.
This could never be a doctor round.
Then I'm going to say the cream soda
of seltzer, diet seltzer.
I mean, I just don't know.
Okay, so you're both in the same sort of ballpark.
What's your guess?
You're feeling something a little different.
No, I think it's a cream.
Is Mr. Pitt, whatever?
Mr. Pibbs like, what, the southern Dr. Pepper.
I don't want to taste this again, but.
Knock off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not sure.
with the, where it's from, I mean, Dr. Pepper is from Texas, so I'm not sure where Mr. Pib is.
I think this is a diet cherry. There's a cherry elements in it. There is. This is what I'm saying. There's a, there's a, like a, are you guessing the first one? Yeah, yeah, first one. Okay. So hold on. Let's get some guesses. Uh, cream, let's say a cream soda, selter. Cream soda, selter. Uh, cherry vanilla selter. Cherry vanilla sprit. Zero. That is the, that is the, that's more what it is. Thank you.
it is zivia vanilla cola zero sugar i think alana gets it because of the zero in there i think
that serves a tiebreaker let's hear the other one you're saying zivia root beer anyone else
it's got to be well hold on let me taste again yeah sucks wait a minute i think i know exactly
what it is yeah it's the zivia ginger root beer zivia ginger root beer i think alana
Zivie what what is it
You can't copy the one I came up with
No no I don't fuck the ginger
There's no ginger in this
This is just a
There's just a root beer
There is ginger in this
Dan nailed it
This is the Zivia ginger root beer
No
You each get a point in the Weiger challenge
Mitch gets the goose egg
Just like a restaurant
By your feedback
Let's up to the feedback
Do you have the goose egg?
Today's email is from Daniel
Daniel writes
doughboys and members of the dais.
I am an architect at the Washington, D.C. Metro.
Wow.
And I'm thrilled by your support of trains and public transportation.
My question for you is, which foods do you think could stand to be longer or even super
long akin to a train?
I recently dreamed that I had to transport a comically long braided halaw bread,
and it was flip-flopping all over the place I tried to control it.
Maybe I just had trains and food on the brain when I went to bed.
Keep on trucking.
Our listeners dreaming about food.
First of all, first of all, say the name of the bread again.
We have a member of the tribe here.
How do you say it?
Halah? How do you say it?
Ha'la.
Hala. Hala.
Hala. Hala.
Hala.
This is a great question.
Let me say also the D.C. Metro has the best stations.
Love those stations.
I love these cavernous bat cave stations.
Yeah, wonderful architecture.
By the way, were these EBSSOTS just here?
No, no, I got them.
You brought them?
Oh, my God.
Thank you, Amelia.
I'm sorry we shat all over them, but.
No, I mean.
that's the game right that's the game
I'm pretty sure the whole thing is everything's made with
Steve
yeah there's that's really so it's zero sugar
but it's yeah it's zero sugar
I mixed them
and it was worse
yeah I can imagine
this is the kind of drink that just immediately
gives you cancer like it's like
forever chemicals like it's
and our sponsor Zivia
so
long foods or foods
that should be longer look here's the
What's the question?
What foods do you think could stand to be longer or even super long akin to a train?
This is a really?
From our listener who dreamed about long food.
Yeah, this is a real dumb question, but thank you for your service, Daniel, working in the Washington, D.C. Metro.
As an architect, very cool.
Not to go back to Costco, but I think Costco, you can get a super long sandwich.
You can get a super long sub there.
Yeah.
That's a lot of fun.
I always dreamed of having a very long sandwich.
It seems like a fun thing to do.
I bring a party sub when I go to the movies alone, just to keep.
keep munching through it.
All right, so let's think.
So I guess it has to be a food that isn't already super long.
Well, no, here's the thing.
I think you can lengthen an existingly long food.
And I would just say, like, I always have the dream of, you know, the cartoon single
noodle spaghetti where you get to, like, it's one fucking big spaghetti noodle that's coiled
in a big thing.
And you get to coil it up on one fork and it's down a meatball with it.
And it is one meal.
Yeah.
That seems like a fun thing to do, like a cartoon character.
Nick Weiger delivering his dream at the Lincoln Memorial
A little different
I for some reason my mind is being drawn to
Like those New York Street pretzels being much larger
Oh sure
That's fun
Because super long churro also making me think
A javelin churro
That would be a fun novelty
If you get like a fucking you know
Eight foot churro at a fair
People would love that
That's fun
I've already told you that strawberry short cake
I wanted to make strawberry long cake
I thought that would be fun yeah strawberry long cake
is really fun Mitch is a great idea
it's a really really smart
Also think about this
Mitch's pizzeria
would be strawberry tall cake
That's true
Oh yeah no that is what we said
That is actually we did say it the right way
I think long cake is better
Maybe long cake is the way to go
Yeah well won't cake the band
I want a tall
cake with a long
Something
Oh boy
I didn't stick the landing here
Alright
No this you're perfect
You're perfect to be on this podcast
That's that's perfect
Doe Boys
Not only not sticking the landing
crashing on takeoff
Not even getting up the runway
Straight to a fucking building
They were crashing on takeoff
They were crashing on takeoff
Basically
But think about
Mitch's Pizza Ria
Home of the Long Slice
Yeah
Yeah, like a long slice is fun.
Long slice?
What is a long slice all about?
You would be, you would be interested a long, yeah, it's got to be fucking long.
But enough about your golf game, Nick.
We're talking about food right now.
Why do you flatter me?
I can think of something long that could be longer.
Wait a bit.
We're talking about Nick's tiny, no, no, no.
Sorry, that's the wrong bit.
I'm sorry, but this person, this is a phallic question.
It is a fallic question.
You're making us think a ha.
And when he's dreaming about this long haul that just gets longer.
I'm glad he wrote in saying that rather than I had a dream of all the trains crashing at the same time.
And we have a son of Sam killer on the.
Well, that's probably one of our other listeners.
Tell me you wouldn't go here tomorrow.
McDonald says, we got long McNuggets.
I'm in.
Can we also talk about how they brought the snack wrap back?
Because it's so good.
Well, it's a dollar and pound bargain, as Newt Gingrich tweeted many years ago.
I like the snack wrap.
I had it the other day.
Yeah.
Though I do, I think I like the McChicken more, but hey, a long McChicken would be fun.
But a super long snack wrap.
That would be great.
That would be great.
That would be a real hoop.
Like a snake.
The BKed long chicken sandwich just make it longer.
Yeah, you can lengthen that for sure.
Or like a bagette that's like six feet long?
I was trying to get that you can lengthen.
But I can't.
A tater tot.
Long tots.
Long tots.
We haven't talked about long tots in a while.
We have brought up long tots, but we haven't talked about long tots in a while.
Long tots is actually a great candidate.
And long tots, again, not to...
That is your favorite clothing store?
If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,
you can email us at Feedbag at BirdFuck.com
or leave us a voicemail at 830.
Go to that's 8604.
Yeah, go for it.
How about Home of the Four Foot Fry?
Oh, that's fine.
Would you not go into the four foot fry?
I'd want to try that.
I don't know.
You keep saying fry.
things, but it's very hard to, like an
eight-foot churro. Is it
a human-sized friar?
You need a big, you know what, that's a good point.
You did a big-ass deep friar. And then sometimes
people do fall in. Yeah, exactly.
That's more for our podcast, I think.
Our producers, Emma Erdbrink,
our associate producer, Amelia Marino,
our video editor is Mike Dorfman,
doughboys apparel and merchandise at kinshipgoods.com
slash doughboys. The doughboys double at
patreon.com slash doughboys. And Mitch, we should shout out the
doughboys comic. Yes. Which you can find
at BRKids.com
Issue 2 shipping soon.
People have issue 1 in their hands
and the associated toy which are part of the tablo here
looks like Weiger fell down
which about tracks with where I'm at right now.
It's standing tall.
BRKids.com
People be our kid like OU.
Yeah, am I not saying it?
No, no, you are.
Just clarifying.
Be OURKids.com and that URL will also be
our show notes.
K-I-D-E-E-E-I-D-E-A-K-E.
Oh, is it Z?
be our kids.com.
Yeah, be our kids.com.
Or just go to birdfuck.com.
Just go to birdfuck.com and there's a link for it there.
But yeah, check out the doughboys comic.
People love it.
And Alex Fierer and Fritzies stressing and made Casey did an awesome job on it.
Also, who did an awesome job?
Our guest today, Alana Hope Levinson, Dan O'Sullivan.
The outfit is the new podcast about the mafia.
Please tell us about it.
Please, thank you both so much for giving us so much of your time.
Please, are you kidding.
Thank you for having us.
welcoming us to the headgum family of like a crime family wow how about that it really is that's
one of the flies that's the flies there's a corpse that makes sense yeah listen if you like mob stuff
you like this sort of nonsense that we've been joking around with you we don't talk about jacking off
as much but we could um i don't know i don't i don't know that's a veto um so if we touch the mic
the way you were shot.
Executed.
But every week we tell a different mob story
from around the world that says something
about the world we live in and it's
really been a lot of fun and so please
check it out. Yeah. You said that's a veto. I'm sure
a veto comes up on your show quite. I'm sure.
Oh my God. Mike, I'm screaming.
Okay.
Yeah, give it a listen.
The outfit. Welcome to the family.
Welcome to the head gum family.
The outfit here on HeadGum
available wherever you listen to podcast.
That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys.
Until next time.
For the smoothman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wier.
Happy eating.
See ya.
I spilled a whole glass of water.
Over the table.
Jesus, do something.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
I'm Tignotaro.
I'm Mae Martin.
And I'm Fortune Feimster.
And together, we're.
handsome. What is handsome? Well, it's a state of mind. It's how you feel. It's whatever you want
it to be. Hansom is also a podcast hosted by us, three stand-up comedians you may have seen on your TV.
We swap stories, share life updates, and occasionally laugh until we cry. Every episode we answer
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