Doughboys - Dick's Drive-In with Evan Susser (LIVE)

Episode Date: November 16, 2017

From the Doughboys' journey into the Pacific Northwest, screenwriter and former comissioner Evan Susser (Fist Fight, Sonic the Hedgehog) joins the 'boys on stage to review Dick's Drive-In. Plus, a live audience participation edition of The Wiger Challenge. Recorded live at The Vera Project in Seattle. Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sound effects I want to be free. I want to just live. Inside my Cadillac, that is my shit. Now throw it up. That's what it is. In my CADILLAC bitch. So begins the track White Walls by rapper Ben James Haggerty, better known by his professional name, Professor Mack Lamour, later shortened to Macklemore. The Seattle-born hip-hop artist, along with producer-collaborator Ryan Lewis, found breakthrough success with their platinum album The Heist, of which White Walls was one of numerous hit singles. The song is an anthem about scrapping for success, where the titular walls refer to stylish tires earned via years of dedicated hard work, and its music video revels in connecting the dots between Macklemore's hometown roots and his newfound wealth and celebrity. One visceral example is a vignette that depicts the artist joyously rapping and dancing before a cheering crowd while on the roof of a Seattle-based burger chain that, like the rapper himself, is polarizing to locals. Treasured by many, dismissed by others. The restaurant owes its origins to a World War II and Korean War vet named Richard Jack Spady, who went by a nickname of his own.

Spady, along with two business partners, envisioned bringing quick-service dining to what was then known as the Queen City. And on January 28, 1954, Spady's eponymous eatery opened for business, and his burger shop instantly became as big of a hit as Macklemore's thrift shop. Locals seeming to declare, this is fucking awesome. More locations followed in short order. 1955, Capitol Hill, 1960, Holman Road, 1963, Lake City, and 1974, Queen Anne. It'd be nearly 40 years before a sixth location opened in Edmonds in 2011. While other Seattle-born creations, most notably Starbucks, have become international sensations, this local haunt has been content to remain the exclusive domain of the now-emerald city, maintaining a simple menu of burgers, fries, and shakes, with substitutions expressly forbidden.

In the fast-food industry ripe with labor exploitation, Spady's brainchild prides itself on providing high wages and health insurance for all of its employees. Spady passed away in 2016, but not before publishing his memoir slash manifesto titled A Life of Visions and Values. As for his legacy, it grows even stronger as a seventh restaurant will open in nearby Kent in the fall of 2018. This week on Doughboys, Dick's Drivin'. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about cheap restaurants. How you doin' Seattle? Hello! God bless ya. God bless ya. What a reception. You guys are great. We've got a great show. Before we go any further though, this week's roast is courtesy of At DeArmo 1990.

Let me introduce my co-host. All five guys. The Spoon Man Mike Mitchell! Hey Seattle, hello. Thank you for havin' us. I am so tired, and my stomach hurts so much. Yeah, we're both tired. Don't just write me off. We're both tired. I had one piece of kale, and now I think it's just gonna catch up with this. It's gonna be bad from here on out.

Right. Well, the nature of this particular tour, we're in day two. We were in Portland last night. Do you guys like or dislike Portland? What's the... Kind of a rivalry, but with some grudging respect. Is that kind of it? It's kind of a Bay Area, Los Angeles sort of thing? Well, you asked that so strangely. Do you guys like or dislike Portland? What response did you want? It's pretty straightforward. You yell out like or dislike. You wanted them to yell out like or dislike? Yeah, I thought it was pretty obvious. You wanted them to yell out like!

Yeah. That's bullshit. Alright, fine. Let's see here. If you like Portland, yell out like. Like! And if you dislike it, yell out dislike. Dislike! The likes have it. The likes have it by a wide margin. Yeah.

If there's any sort of rivalry, I mean, I think it's pretty much respectful and friendly. Hey, now that we're out of Portland, I think Portland more boring than Seattle. Wow! Wow! Sorry, Seattle. I'm gonna say the same thing in Vancouver tomorrow. Anyway, howdy-how, Dispunation! Oh, it's embarrassing. Um, Dustin, play a drop, please. I can't fuck it up. I don't want to see a ghostly visage ever. Maybe a ghost pet would be okay. I don't care about that. Will you punch your ghost dad?

Yeah! You're scared of ghosties, so you twitched a little. I'm afraid of ghosties, but more so, I'm afraid of the devil itself. Here's one of his mitches scared of the devil. I am scared of the devil. Lucifer, Satan. He goes by many names, Nick. He's scary. He can possess people. You're more afraid of the devil than ghosts.

Of course! What do you mean? I'm more afraid that the devil has control of ghosts. He can shoot ghosts at you. One of the devil's powers is he can shoot ghosts at you? If he wants to, he can do anything. That's it. Stop it. That was from Robert Persinger, who I think is here. Wow! Second row! We're in a Doughboy shirt.

Second row? Are you going to get first row? I like that one, Robert. Good job. Excited for your tour. I don't have to say anything. You see her. There you go. Great job. Hey, it's Friday the 13th. Yeah, we're in the spookiest of months, October. That's right. But it's Friday the 13th in October, which I think is the spookiest day possible. And truly.

Unless the year was 666 AD, that's the only way you could up the stakes. But wouldn't it be that scary? I mean, I guess just real life is scary. I think it would be a scary time to be alive, yeah. And we're in Seattle, kind of the spookiest of cities. I don't know if that tracks. It's rainy and a little, you know... No. I don't think Seattle is the spookiest. I mean, like, maybe Transylvania.

Sure. If we were doing a show in Transylvania, if we were reviewing Blood Sausage for a local chain there... You think in Transylvania there's a chain called Blood Sausage? Yeah, it's like a pun. It's like a pun. It's like, ah, it doesn't actually have blood in it, but maybe they can have some fun with it there. This is a home of Frazier. Right. Dislike.

Oh, wow. They're gonna start yelling dislike at us as the show goes on. You're coming hot out of the gate just like blowing all of our Seattle references immediately. What's wrong? Oh, I can't measure in Frazier. I don't know. Let's get back to Friday the 13th. Let's talk about the Sounders. Are you a fan of Jason? I am a fan of Jason. I mean, I think he's cool. I think he looks great.

I like that he's... But you think he looks great? Yeah, I like that he's strong. I think that's another great part about Jason. He doesn't look good. He has a nice figure. He looks... Okay, this is what I mean. In fact, if I am in good shape, I'm in Jason's shape. I mean, I think if you're like a Jason-sized guy, you're an intimidating figure, you're a hulking figure.

I'm Jason-sized, right? You look like a Jason Alexander-sized. No, I think... I like that he's... I don't even look good enough to look like Jason. That's what you're saying? You're handsomer than Jason. You're a handsome man. No, thanks! You mean the face that's supposed to scare you when he pops out of the lake at the end of the movie?

You're definitely handsome-er than Jason. I don't know if you're in his good shape. I'm not in his good shape as Jason. Well, that's true. He could easily take me. He could lift up a person in a sleeping bag and throw him against a tree. Right, among other things. They're strong. Yeah.

He can take a harpoon and then just disembowel you with one stroke. What if Jason met Frazier? Go ahead, Weigher. Do some little scene for everyone. Wow, what's the opposite of an alley-oop? We don't know because they took the sonics away! Bullshit! That is bullshit.

This is like, wait, you were mad at them and they took them away, right? Okay, good, yeah. Yeah, I mean, the NBA is my favorite league. I'm a huge basketball fan. I think it is horrific what happened to the Seattle fan base. It was a great fan base. The SuperSonics were a great franchise with a lot of history. A lot of great players and that they just moved them unceremoniously.

Almost in the dead of night. It was a theft and it was inappropriate. And I think that's the stain on the NBA's legacy and I think they should move a franchise here or have a fucking expansion franchise. I think it's long overdue. The Seattle Doughboys. I mean, they have an existing name. They didn't take the name with them to Oklahoma City.

You can just use the SuperSonics again. Seattle Doughboys would be pretty good. I feel like Frazier wouldn't be afraid of Jason. Are you kidding? Him and Niles were horrified when they found like a skull in their apartment. Do you remember that? There was an episode where they find a... Wasn't there an apartment?

Where do they find the skull? In their childhood home. In their childhood home. They find a skull and they're like scared. Who in one person know this reference? I bet Susser knows it. Is it the creator of Frazier and you? Christopher Lloyd is here?

The other one? I did want to touch on one thing, Mitch. We are in Seattle. You have anointed yourself the Spoon Man. We heard a little Spoon Man. This is the home of Grunge. Are you a Grunge freak? I like Grunge.

Right? I don't want to call myself a Grunge freak. You have other music you like more than Grunge, but... I mean, I... You're sympathetic to Grunge. Sure, yeah. I mean, at one point I think Grunge. Who doesn't like Grunge, right?

Are you... Okay, this is a question for the audience. If you love Grunge, hashtag Grunge freak. Make some noise right now. Wow. And if you think Grunge is dog shit, hashtag Plunge Grunge. No one, just silence. No one respond.

No Plunge Grunge? I think they didn't know if they were supposed to yell out Plunge Grunge. Plunge Grunge. Plagged shirts? Are you just describing what Mitch is wearing? Hey, don't take our references. We need to talk about Plagged shirts for 10 minutes.

No, does anyone hear it? Like, make some... Make some... A little booing if you dislike Grunge. Just a couple of people. Yeah, it's in Seattle. What are you talking about? I don't know.

I don't know if it's one of those things where it's like it's known outside of it. And people... Like, it's the home of it, maybe within it people view it kind of skeptically. Sometimes that can happen in a community. Like, it's just like... I feel like if you went to Long Beach, California,

around where I'm from, and you ask an audience about what do you think of Sublime, I feel like you get a mixed response. It's known as from Long Beach, but I feel like there's some people there who are maybe like, I don't know about Sublime. Do you like Sublime?

Yeah, I think I like Sublime. He was kind of a dummy, right? Like, he would like... Oh, boy. Oh, Mitch. He would... I heard that he would try to pick up girls and he'd put his finger up his dog's...

His finger up his dog's butt. Oh, that's bad. No one likes this, but I'm just telling the truth. What was the problem I didn't say? I think he was kind of a dummy. No, it's fine. You call me dumb every episode of this show.

Yeah, but I mean... I mean, I guess actually after you die and like 10 to 20 years pass, I will still call you dumb. Like, you're right. This is fair at this point. Enough time has passed since his death. So 11 years is what you're saying?

Yeah, 11 years after your death, I will start joking about you being an idiot again. I mean, in your eulogy, I will probably reference that you're kind of a dumb guy. You're not admitted to my funeral at all. My mum will not let you. Should we get our guests out? Oh, man, let's do it.

If you guys listen to the podcast, you know him well, a member of the Doughboys extended family, a screenwriter whose credits include the film's fist fight and the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog. He's also the commissioner of the Doughboys Tournament of Champions. Please welcome Evan Susser.

No chance, so that's what you got. Won't forget some machine too strong. Pretty politicians buying souls for russaw puppets. Wow. Won't find their place tonight. You sure? Sure. But tie a string,

and wrap your finger now. Boy, crisis. It's just a matter of... One of one. Sorry, folks, if you want it, you can't get it. We put it for sale on the website, and one was sold. Susser bought it for himself for his birthday.

Susser, good day. I mean, we've been spending a lot of time together. We've been on, we were on the same flight. We rode up here in the same SUV, the same van to Seattle, which Mitch did all the driving, which was very nice of you. I did.

Yeah, thank you. I mean, it's been nice that you've done the bulk of the driving. I mean, it is a very natural fit. You do have the physique and wardrobe of a long-haul trucker. So I drive the entire trip, and the way you reward me is saying I look like a trucker. You're just saying I'm a big fat guy with a beard. Hey, that's a noble profession.

A lot of people do important work. How do you think I drove? There was one instance where I did almost kill us. Yep. But besides that, pretty good. Yeah, I think you're a good driver. Yeah. You love Dad Rock.

I feel like Dad Rock's just blasting constantly. I'm going up the road. I'm listening to some Cat Stevens and Gordon Lightfoot, and I'm looking at the majestic United States of America. I'm having a good time. I'm reflecting. It's very nice. We've listened to Salisbury Hill like seven times.

To be fair, my iPhone repeated it too many. I was like, oh, it's been repeating. You had it on shuffle, and it kept going back to Salisbury Hill. Such a good song. It just runs into itself. It feels the seven times. It just felt like one song. It's true.

You don't know this. We went to a grocery store to get dinner before. You were back here taking a nap. I didn't fall asleep. You were trying to make me look like a fool. No, I'm not. I just said you were taking a nap. I tried to take a nap.

I couldn't. You left a bunch of work for me to do. What work? Shut up. Just keep going. What work could they possibly do? There was nothing. I lied.

Well, what happened at the grocery store? I thought the song was playing. Salisbury Hill? Yeah, but it wasn't. I just have heard it so many times. Right. You're hearing things? Yeah.

Ambient grocery store sounds just sort of like blended into an auditory hallucination for Susser. And he was asking me, and then I was like, am I hearing it? And then I was like, no, I'm not. I'm just hearing supermarket sounds that kind of are akin to Salisbury Hill. So while I was here taking a nap, you two almost went insane. Right. We didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

We did not get a lot of sleep last night. Yeah. But it's okay. We're doing all right. We're doing all right. Susser came into my room. Nick, you don't know this. You were asleep.

And we broke down. I mean, I wasn't asleep. Oh, you were awake. We were too loud. I was asleep, and then you came home with a band of revelers. And you had some merriment in the common area. And I woke up for my slumber. It's like going on a road trip with a fucking librarian and his fat assistant.

Me. Fine. I'll be the fat assistant. All right. Fucking asshole. I can't call you fat. You said it backstage 10 minutes ago. Yeah.

Of course. I got to repeat jokes. Anyways, Susser and I went into my room. We were going to break down the show. And we got into the bed together. And we were lying. And our feet were kicking. And we were talking about the show.

And Nick, you don't know this. I rolled over and pulled the curtain off the wall. And the curtain rod as well. And the curtain rod and everything. It all came out. And I was like, oh boy. This is bad, bad news. So then Mitch had to go out to the revelers and to engineer Dustin.

He's like, do you have a screwdriver? And they're trying to screw the curtain rod back into the wall. I missed all of this. I must have drifted back to sleep. I screwed it into the wall. Dustin had had a couple drinks. So no offense, Dustin. And it was like a party.

I was looking at it this morning. It looks like a magic eye. It looks like it's coming out at you. But guess what? We got five stars on Airbnb. Oh, you do? That's fucking idiot. Hopefully he doesn't listen.

He doesn't listen to this. Why would he? Why would he? What are the odds? Susser, I know you have to be a little bit coy about it. We talked about it a little bit last night in Portland. But you have been attached to the Sonic the Hedgehog screenplay. It's a franchise I have a lot of attachment and interest in.

Can you confirm or deny what's circulating online that there is a torrid romance that takes place between Charmy B. and Cream the Rabbit? You know what? I like to be coy, like he said. But it is a live show. Unfortunately, I'm not a libertarian. Oh, boy.

Mitch literally put his... Oh, you got on me about my bit that I said to you backstage. Literally put his head in his hands. Oh, yeah, the Sonic... I can't say my Jason jokes again, but you guys can do whatever the fuck you want. When were you workshopping the Jason jokes? I didn't hear that.

I don't know. What joke did I repeat? You called me a librarian backstage. Yeah, I'm funny. I say funny stuff. I can't help myself. And then if it's funny, I fucking repeat it. So for those of you who are listening to this recording and aren't here in the audience, Paul Mitch said that he took the mic off his stand,

put it in his hand, and then leaned back in his chair like it was a recliner. It was such an helpful move you just pulled. I want to put it behind my ear, hang it down like that. And what, like... It's not working. Like you weren't going to call center?

I think it would be a cool guy. I think the cord is too short. Look, I'm a little... Look, my stomach hurts. He leaned back in his chair and the staff immediately got a backup chair ready. Susser's been on a diet for two weeks and he's just been throwing fat jokes at me.

Susser's been slimming down a little bit. Very, very proud of you. You've both been slimming down. Very proud of you. I know how hard that is. Slimming down. Yeah, you've been working hard at it. You've been... It's a tough day. It's a tough...

Honestly, that requires a lot of dedication. Here's what I was going to say. Here's what I was going to say. Susser and I, both days, because we've kind of gotten into groups, I'd say that Mitch would say you and Dustin are the single-party animals. That's insane!

And me and Susser are the stable-married men who like to get up early, and we've been going on coffee walks. We got up this morning on a lovely stroll. I'm so thrilled to miss these coffee walks. If you came to my room and you're like, coffee walk, I'd be like, I'm sleeping, I would lie.

I would get back into bed. I am in bed anyways, but I would get back into bed. Anyway, we went on a coffee stroll and we've been having a lovely time. I thought it's been a nice little bit of socialization. Whoa, cool! Your road trip, you went on a bunch of coffee walks.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Look, it's hard to find time to exercise because we're doing so much travel and we're all sleeping such heavy food. As we were talking about early in Portland, we had to eat a taco time in Portland. What do people think of taco time up here? Kind of mixed.

Some dislikes I'm sensing. It's bad down there. It's not good. I think it's fine. I mean, you know, I think it's fine. By the time this episode is out, the Portland episode will be out, so, like, no spoilers.

Yeah, if this goes well, we might do this one first. I feel like that's deceptive. I feel like people... We'll let it this moment out. Wait, did you always say, unless this goes well? So, like, from this point forward, if things pick up a little...

I think... I just want to come out in February. But, no, the... I feel like taco time, like, that was a very, very heavy meal. And then we went to a... That's how we kicked off the whole trip. We kicked off the trip with that,

and then we went to, like, a local Portland place to, like, try it, but it was, like, super-duper heavy, like, a biscuit place. And then up here, we had the restaurant that we're going to discuss today, this week's chain, which was, you know, again, a very, very heavy sort of greasy meal,

like a kind of unapologetically greasy meal. And so we've been... I've been trying to counteract that with a modicum of exercise, and so these morning strolls have been nice to get the blood pumping. I went on an afternoon stroll with Susser, it was great.

Oh, good for you. Wait, you're going on multiple walks? What's this all about? Oh, Susser's double-dimming. Sorry, fellas. Susser, there's another thing I wanted to talk to you about because this came up in our discussion.

Sure, sure. We mentioned Friday the 13th. You've never seen a Friday the 13th movie. Never have. You're a screenwriter. You write movies for a living. That's insane. You need to see one of the best screenplays

Friday the 13th. Yeah, no, I don't really like horror movies, so I haven't seen it. And then when I told you guys this, you started telling me, you're like, Paul Rust likes Friday the 13th. He does. Yeah, I'm aware of the people like it.

I haven't missed that. I just don't really, but I will if you want me to. He's got to see Friday. I think you should watch... You know what? I think this month you should watch all the Friday the 13th movies.

How many are there? No one likes that idea. No one likes... There's like 12? How many are there now? He goes to space at one point. Yeah, there's... I mean, there's too many.

Really? He goes to space. He goes back to school. He goes to hell. Where else does he go? He's Santa in one. Yeah. He goes to the chocolate factory.

Yeah. There's like 11 or 12, but maybe there was a lot. They've made it to 13. I'm sure there is 13 of them. Also, you just saw the space needle for the first time today. Yeah.

Me too. Which is right over here. Right? It's somewhere over here. Yeah. Let me say my thoughts on this real quick. It shouldn't be called the space needle. It's actually never been in space.

All right. Mitch, I'm not Neil deGrasse Tyson. I'm not going to go on a literalist bent here, but I am going to say, I expected it to be taller. I was like, this is like, oh, that space needle is going to be so tall. They're just buildings in the city

that are taller than it. It's not as impressive as I expected it to be. People are nodding. It's not as impressive. It's not as impressive. It's cool. It's a cool structure. I was like, oh, that's cool,

but I expected it to be like, oh, this thing is going to be so tall. I'm going to stagger it. It's height. Yeah. How much taller do you want? I feel like it should be the tallest thing in Seattle. I feel like...

Good thing the supersonics are gone. Hold on. I want to look at the Frasier skyline. That was a good joke. No, I got what you were saying. It took me a second to piece it together. I get what you were saying. Jesus.

You were talking like... That's good for a live show. No, you were talking like Sean Camp is like a very tall man. Yeah, I should have said Sean Camp. Yeah, right. I get it. Anyway, the Frasier skyline...

The sky in the front row is nodding. Yep, should have said Sean Camp. Should have said Camp. Should have said Camp. In Mars attacks, do they use the space needle to throw it at something? Do they like rip it off? Or is this a sixes?

I think you're thinking of itchy and scratchy. There's an itchy and scratchy work. Oh, and it goes into his eye? It goes into his eye, yeah. Oh, that's funny. Anyway, it is funny. Yeah, it's very funny. The Frasier...

Okay, the Frasier skyline... Dislike. Wait, you don't like the skyline and the Frasier logo? You don't like anything about Frasier. All right, we'll just save it for one general Frasier dislike. I think he dislikes the podcast right now.

I mean, you're right. That's fair. The Frasier skyline has the space needle as the tallest element. So I think that's people's... I mean, that's where my perception of it comes from, of like, oh, that's got to be the tallest thing, but it's not that tall.

It seems like we're up on a hill. Is it just because it's on a hill and it's above everything else? Why is it the space needle? Why? What do you mean, why? I don't know, why is it the space needle? Wasn't it a World's Fair thing?

Why isn't it just a big needle? It's a World's Fair thing. Oh, World's Fair. Right. Okay. I'm learning things. I don't know. It's good.

I'm going to different cities. I'm learning stuff. Would you go down... What is it? Pike's Place? No. Pike's Place. Pike's Place.

Oh, no S. Oh, you guys got mad at that. I'm sorry. We could throw a fish around down there and have fun. You just want to go home and go to bed. What the fuck? I'm pretty tired. I'm pretty beat.

You're going to go home and go to bed. Yeah, we're going to go... I mean, well, I'll go home. I'm... Yeah. We're going to go home at some point. Get some sleep. I'd love to get a good night's sleep tonight.

Susser and I are sharing a bed tonight. We are? Uh... I hope we don't wake up on the floor tomorrow with crushed wood around us. You say you're going to be testing the structural integrity of that bed frame is what you're saying. Yes. Just to get the screwdriver.

Yeah, it doesn't get that screwdriver ready. And hopefully still on the second floor. Susser, what do you think of Frasier? I know you've seen a lot of episodes like that. Oh my God. Nobody... Nobody wants to hear more about Frasier. But...

Are you applauding Susser's sentiments or are you contradicting him? You're saying you don't want to hear about Frasier. Yeah. I find the farcical episodes to be a bit too much. Okay. I thought that the Niles and Daphne relationship was really compelling. I don't care. I don't know how much...

I watched more Frasier in my life than I thought I should. But it was just always on. The will there won't they element. When it finally became, oh, they will. It's like, that payoff is satisfying once. But then it undermines such a fun, like, running gag that they've had there. When you're just going to say, like, oh, we're just going to put them together now. It's like, save that, you know?

Like, that's a finale thing. That's the... That's Rachel... That's a series finale of Ross listening to the voice memo. And then did you get off the plane? And then Rachel comes in and says, I got off the plane. And then everyone's like, yeah! Like, that's like...

What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? Here's what I'm saying. I think when Niles... I think Niles and Daphne got together too early in the series' run. I know that it was towards the end of it. But I still think those seasons when they were a couple were less compelling than those... Yeah, this is why everyone booed when we said Frasier.

Because they didn't like the way the romantic rock developed. Not like there's a lame show about therapist brothers. People actually like you more than me. There's people who are like, I'm burger brigade. What the fu... You talk about the relationships and Frasier between Niles and who? I don't even know the other character's name. Well, Daphne, you're being intentional.

Eddie is the dog, Eddie. Yes, the dog is Eddie. Is he still alive? No. I know why you bring that up. You should have slide to me till he was. Here's what I like about it. I would believe it though.

Thanks, Mitch, for digging us out of that rut by bringing up a dead dog. He lived a great... He was a Hollywood dog. Yeah, he was a great dog. Probably died of a fucking coke over the house. Jesus Christ. Well, no... Eddie was on the story,

he'd be hanging with you and dusted all night. I'm not. This is insane. The thing I like about Frasier is it's a spin-off. Yes. And that's what I'm gonna do with this fucking podcast, baby. You're gonna do a Spoon Man solo pod? The Spoon Man solo pod.

That'll be, I mean, that'll be fun because that'll be a podcast with one episode. And then you'll get too lazy to ever record it again. Where the host was 30 minutes late to the episode. You think I can just release the dead air? Maybe I will. Maybe it'll be a part of the thing. It'll be fun.

Yeah, you should always start recording it on time and then whenever you show up should be when your voice kicks in. What would, so for the Frasier, more Frasier material, for the Frasier spin-off, they took him out of a bar and moved him to Seattle and, you know, focused on his radio show. The Dope Boys podcast is about fast food. If you spun off Mitch to his own podcast, what would that world be?

Good question. I'd also, I'd be a psychologist. I'd be a psychologist? I think you're gonna have a little problem. I took sociology at college. Not what you need. I took a psych class. It would be, I could talk things out with people.

And then Weigher comes back as a guest. He has some problem. None of them left me. I cooked too many hot salads, et cetera, et cetera. We had a whole talk about what? Getting pops off hot salads. I'm gonna mention hot salads the day I die. Also, tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

I feel like that's kind of close to what you want. If you just take the heat from that scrambled eggs, move it over to the salad. Look, I've had tossed salads and scrambled eggs, which I think is a reference to the scrambled and tossed brains of his patients. I think that's the idea behind that. What?

Yeah, that's the idea of like it's like. Now maybe Jason would like Frasier. He's dealing with these tossed salads and these scrambled eggs. Wait, really? Hold on. I think that's the idea behind it. Hold on a second. What?

I'm unwrapped genius right now with the Frasier theme up. And that's what it says. No, I've read that before. Because I was like, I looked up what does that mean in someone that was a fan theory that I bought into? A couple of believers. Yeah. The person who wrote that fan theory.

But no, I think the idea of where was I going? I've had that dish. I'll make myself scrambled eggs or a little omelet. And I'll have myself like a little bit like some mescaline greens on the side. But nary the two will mix. I'm having those as separate elements. I'm having like a little bit of a side salad, a little bit of a spring mix in lieu of something heavier,

like some hash friends. Ah, yes. Nary the two must mix. You know what? I don't like. Here's what I got to say. Yeah. Keep salad out of breakfast.

Get the fuck out. You agree with that? I hear what you're saying. What about this? Huh? Fruit salad. Mmm. No.

Yeah. Not a real salad. Fair enough. That's not a real salad. I tell you, here's the. Big fruit. Here's what I'll say. I get what you're saying.

It's not a traditional breakfast. Certainly not a fun breakfast to have a salad. But I think that you feel better. I think it helps your digestive health if you're having, you know, green vegetables and there's something about getting that maybe salad that's not as fun out of the way early in the morning where it's like, oh, this is my first meal. I just kind of need some energy and some sustenance.

You have a little bit of a salad, maybe as a side with an egg dish or you just kind of have it on its own. You throw a little, you know, you'll throw some protein in there. It can work out all right. I mean, give it a shot. If you're, if you, if you're in a breakfast rut, give it a shot. I don't feel like you don't believe this. I've done it.

I will have a salad for breakfast sometimes. Do you really? Yes, I will. Oh, who stumps down on salad for breakfast? I fucked up now too. I has to be vocal. Oh, well, let's move on from salads. Right.

What do you got on your little list here? We're talking Frasier. Uh, no, we'll get, we'll get off, we'll get off of Frasier. Uh, Susser. Yep. Dick's driving. Yeah. This week's chain.

Mm-hmm. Had you ever been there before? I never had. This was all of our maiden voyages. This is my first time. Dick's driving. Uh-huh. I'll say about Dick's driving on the surface.

If I was a no good Seattle teen, I would have a lot of fun that there was a restaurant called Dick's. Yeah, I'd be like, like... Wow. Because it's just a thing you could make lewd jokes about. You could make double entendres. Let's go eat Dick's. Let's go eat Dick's.

Yeah. Yeah. That's it. I mean, that goes a long way. Let's grab some Dick's on the way home. Is Dick the worst name to have? Is that, like, the worst, like... Well, it's not even a name.

It's Richard, I know. Yeah, right. You're not... Do you think you were gonna be like, It's actually Richard. I was gonna be like, Holy shit! Well... I'm just saying it's always a choice to go by Dick.

Right. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I feel like... You are like, Holy shit. You know what? He got me. Holy shit. I feel like if you were...

There's something about the guy who established this restaurant in the 50s, and back then, Dick... I mean, you know, Dick wasn't really a name that was made fun of or was like... People didn't know it would be funny. Yeah, it wasn't like a lewd thing until probably... What did they call it back then? What did they call it back then?

Like, pecker was fun or something? Yeah, you call it your pecker or your prick. Those kind of old-time, like, terms that seem to make you kind of squirm a little bit. Thank God that generation's dying off. With their inferior terms for male genitalia. Back when you'd call it a hog.

That disgusts me. Back when you talk about porking your wife, I don't want to hear that shit. So can Richard go by Rich too? Yeah, you can go by Rich. You have other options. That's the other thing. Dick is not the only option.

You can be Richard. You can be Rich. You can be Rick. Yeah, you have lots of different ways. Richie? Richie? Yeah, why does anyone... Is there any Richards out there tonight? No one.

No Richards. Yeah, I don't think you should name person Richard any more. Right. I think especially after Tricky Dick Nixon, that should have been just a name that goes away. Because of Tricky Dick Nixon? Because of Dick Nixon.

Nixon was a loathed president. He was the most hated president in American history for a time. I feel like that's kind of... Until? Until the orange buffoon took the rate. Okay. Look.

We know we can get Cheap Pops with our inside references. But thank you. But no, we're going to continue to break down this fucking Frasier. Go for the Cheap Pops. No Cheap Pops. No Cheap Pops.

But no, the... I feel like that could have been a name that just retired. Hitler was just retired. No one has that last name anymore. Yeah, and it's not going to come back around. It's not coming back. Dick has two things against it.

It's Dick Nixon Association, and then also it's like a donger. And so I feel like... I feel like if you didn't have... Those are two reasons why you shouldn't go by Dick. I agree with that. Well, why is the donger association negative?

You're being very sex negative instead of sex positive. That's fair. I guess it's just like... I don't personally find it negative, but I feel like you're setting yourself up... Why are you doing this? No, but I feel like you're setting yourself up

for mockery from those who maybe do. So it's just a thing to be conscious of. Anyways, it's called Dick's. It's called Dick's. There's nothing we can do about it. Can I say one thing real quick? Yeah. So I used to work at Funny or Die.

For a long time, the CEO of Funny or Die, this is his real name. He went by Dick, last name Glover. Dick Glover. It was his actual name. That's pretty good. It's pretty good, yeah. But anyway, let's talk about

whether we are Dick lovers. So we went to Dick's Drive-In. Oh, you would have been the nastiest little Seattle team. Oh, boy. Oh! That dang wiger! What would you have done? You would have gone to Dick's,

gone to a bunch of food, gone home, and played Nintendo 64. Yeah. Super NES, maybe. Oh, yeah, you're much older. I'm not much older than you. No, I hadn't been 64 in high school. Just not like, you know, I'm a little older than you.

In any event, but... We went to Dick's Drive-In. Which location do we go to? Fuck, I don't remember. We posted it online. I don't remember which one we went to. What did you say? Capital Hill.

We went to the Capital Hill one. And... Literally when we pulled into town. We pulled into town. It was our first stop. We took the, we took MapQuest, or what, what, how do we use? No, we can't not use MapQuest.

I can't look at it. We went on our phones. I'm sorry. We went to MapQuest.com. We didn't use MapQuest. I don't know why my poll was MapQuest. The printed pieces of paper we didn't know what to do. We got rerouted.

So we went to the library. Got on a computer. Asked the Jeeves. How to get to Dick's... You two should have stayed at the fucking library, by the way. Look, I fucked up. We used... Was it Google Maps?

What app did we use? Who gives a shit? Well, you seemed to care a lot. Absolutely. You seemed to lean on wanting to point out that it wasn't MapQuest. You could have just rolled with that. We used Apple Maps. We used the one that doesn't exist.

We used a combination of Google Maps and Apple Maps. Yes. I'm going to see if the MapQuest URL is still... It doesn't give you the Google... I'm going to see if the MapQuest URL is still direct. Yes, it does. So redirect. You can still print out directions if you want to.

Official site. Sponsored by... Brought to you by Goodyear now, which is interesting. Yeah, it's still up. But anyway. I wouldn't be surprised. Honestly, it's the kind of thing when you see like Yahoo is like the number one website for like People Over 50.

I wouldn't be surprised if like People Over 50 still use MapQuest. Like if that's still like the go-to website. It's just what you're used to. Good thing that generation's dying off. In any event, we went to the... We put in the Apple Maps. We put in From Portland. We put in Dick's Drive-In.

That was our destination. We made a beeline straight towards it. Right to it, yeah. Right to it. We parked right in front of it on the street. Nick, you were having some back issues. I was having a little back. Yeah, I got out of the car.

I stretched it a little bit. I felt all right. Yeah, my back tightens up. My back will tighten up. It wasn't even too, too long of a ride. It was about three hours. Yeah. You feeling all right?

I'm feeling all right. Thank you for asking. I told you later on, was the music choice okay in the car? I'm being honest now with you. I thought the music was great. Like I said, it's a lot of dad rock. I like dad rock. I will say you really like dad rock for a man who's come and can never produce a child.

But it's great. It's a lot of songs that I like as well. What's wrong with my cum? I think my cum looks healthy. We know we both have weak seed. Look at us. We're classic. What's below beta male?

Is it a sea? Does it begin with a sea? We're sea guys. We're sea guys. We went straight to Dix driving. We parked right in front. My back was feeling fine. You were giggling the entire way.

Right. We go outside and I say what time were they? Like three o'clock? Yeah. It was a late lunch time. Late lunch and a big line. A lot of people there. Big, big line.

Is that just how Dix is? Are they just always crowded? Yeah. So it is akin to like an in and out burger. There's just always a crowded in and out. You're basically never going when there's not a line at the drive through. Do they have drive throughs at Dix? No.

It's just a drive in. It's like you park at it. Kind of. Why can't they? It seems like they move quick enough that they could do a drive through. Right? I mean, when we ordered. I think they'd have to retrofit some of the structures.

They're all old structures. But I feel like when we were there from when we ordered our food, because there's four of us, we ordered a lot. Yeah. It was a long line. But we got up to the front quickly. And then once we made our order, the food arrived quickly. I will, I will even say that based on this experience,

maybe a little faster than an out burger. Oh, they really, they really serve you quickly. They really serve you quickly. They really serve you quickly there. I love it in an out burger, but I was amazed by how quickly the food arrived. Yeah. And it all takes much longer.

It takes, it takes a while. Yeah. And I was like, I one time said like, it takes a lot of time. Actually, I made it out right now. I'm going to time it. And you did. Do you remember this?

Yeah. One time on a text chain, I was like, it takes a while and it's like, actually, I'm in front of one right now. And I was like, okay. And he's like, I'm going to put my alarm on right now. And he's like,

nine minutes, food in hand. I was like, were you waiting for me to say that one thing? It was lying out the door. Look, I was shopping at Costco. In the Marina Del Rey Costco, there's a, an in out burger in the same lot.

So you can go without even moving your car. And so I was there anyway. I walk over here. Is this the long con of that you work for in and out burger? Why do you love in and out burger? Cause it's great. I like it. Cause it's great.

Why do you like this great thing? Because I like it. All right. Why do you like the Patriots? Because you think they're a great football team. Yes. And only that. Just to be clear.

No other reasons. As much as people tweeted us. So, yes, it was very, it was very, very fast. That's what I was going to say. But like,

but like for in and out burger, just to finish this up, I think that like as, even though it's an intimidatingly long line, they will turn things over quickly enough where it feels like you're waiting a long time, but it's actually pretty fast considering the number of people there.

And I feel like that's the same, I had the same sensation at Dix. It's like, there's a, there's a very healthy queue. There's a lot of people here. And I feel like we were served quickly. And I feel like the service was very friendly too. Like super friendly,

super, super duper nice there. Um, I got the Dix deluxe, which is the quarter pound beef. You get two patties, I believe, right? Two patties there.

Cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise, and chopped pickle. Very simple presentation. Um, I would say that when, when I took it out of the wrapper, and I'm interested in your guys' thoughts of the burger, but I feel like it doesn't necessarily have the

sex appeal of like a, like a really, like sometimes those ones that they have those, you know, you eat with your eyes first and you get that burger out there and you're like, ooh, baby.

And like, and I had that, that Dix deluxe and I was like, hmm, this could go either way. Just like just on eye test alone. But then I bit into that bad boy and it was a whole other story.

You got, you might have asked, did you get an erection? No. No, I didn't get hard from eating this burger. That's why they call it Dix. There's a lot of fun you can have with it.

There's a lot of fun you can have with it. But what did you guys think of that Dix? We all got the same burger, right? All three of us got Dix deluxe. Yes. Look, here, I have a complaint about it,

but I, so you open it up, it was a little messy, but I liked how it was kind of like an old-fashioned, it looks kind of like an old-fashioned burger spot. My initial reaction was, this is the Dix deluxe, it kind of looks small.

Hmm, yeah. Whoa. No one agrees. It looked kind of tiny. I thought it would be bigger. I thought it would be a bigger burger. Yeah. I mean, it's cheap.

It is cheap, but yeah. I mean, you're, you're usually surprised by a small dick. There's a lot of fun you can have with it. You're right, it is a lot of fun. Hey, you know Mitch? Hello Fresh is the meal kit delivery service

that makes cooking more fun, so you can focus on the whole experience, not just the final plate, and with the holidays coming up, Hello Fresh does the shopping, planning, and delivery, so all you have to do is hustle, bustle, and enjoy.

Hey, that'll make the holidays a breeze. Mm-hmm. You know, each week, Hello Fresh creates delicious new recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes for everyone from novices to season home cooks

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Nick, you know what? I hate lines. You know that about me. Get rid of the lines. Mm-hmm. Come straight to your door. Right. No line?

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They've also got some Hello Fresh holiday recipes, meatloaf alamom with roasted root vegetables and thyme gravy, pan-seared scallops with heirloom tomatoes, mashed potatoes,

and Meyer lemon, lemon rather, thyme gravy chicken with roasted carrots and cacio e pepe potatoes. Hey, no, Mitch, what I made, the ribeye steak bernets

with rosemary potatoes and asparagus. It comes with some shallots, some rosemary, which was very nice. Nick, I made some pork lual burgers with pineapple relish and green salad.

You know what I thought of that? If I had to give it a 1 to 10, I'd give it a hang 10. Less than $10 a meal. Hey, you know what? If you want to try a Hello Fresh for yourself for the holidays

or just for whatever time, use the promo code DOBOYS. $30 off your first week at Hello Fresh. Visit HelloFresh.com and get your promo code DOBOYS. Yeah, it's a modest... I ate it

and I felt like I could have eaten another one. Maybe that's the thing to do. Maybe you get two of the smaller burger and that's the order to have. I will say, I have the same feeling, but I also did not...

First of all, we had taco time yesterday. We had beers after the show and as we were driving to this, I was kind of dreading it because I was already feeling kind of bad. Right, yeah, I feel like shit.

And then we had it and I did it and I was like, oh, it's going to be like a big burger and all these fries and we had it and I liked it and I didn't feel awful afterwards.

Right. So the small size, I think that, you know, like obviously, look at me, I know that I could have gotten two. I was able to figure that out. And the price...

No, no. And the price was like getting two would be pretty comparable. Very reasonable. It would feel like weight less than Shake Shack. For sure, yeah. I think two would be, what,

six, seven bucks, maybe? Yeah, I think it's like, it's between three and four dollars for the Dix Deluxe, which is their highest priced item. So around with something you can see like that, but it's small.

I thought that was kind of interesting. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, what did you guys think of the taste of that burger? Because it's very, very simple. And I mean, I'm a mayo freak.

I love mayonnaise. Love the stuff. My understanding is that's basically the only condiment on it. It's like that chopped pickle, like a little bit of relish. Here's my other thought about this. I don't know,

I kind of mentioned this and I'm afraid that people get mad at it, but the mayo and the chopped pickle, it was like tartar sauce. I kind of like that. It kind of is tartaring. It is tartar sauce. I'm not,

I'm just saying it was a surprise. I was like, oh, it tastes like a tartar sauce on a burger, kind of strange. Right. And here's one thing I will say that I think is pretty wack about Dix. Wow.

Was it five cents or something for a ketchup or 50 cents? That's cool. It's five cents. It's not 50 cents. Oh, five cents, whatever. Five cents is trivial. Why is that cool?

It's cool. It feels old-timey. I think it's fine. It's like a thing they did. It's like... Oh, you're right. Back when burgers were five cents, ketchup was also five cents.

What's old-timey about it? No, ketchup was not five cents, but I thought it was cool when I just saw something on a menu for five cents. Oh, for five cents, okay. When was the last time you got anything for five cents?

It felt cool. I thought... And then suddenly, you don't have all this ketchup waste at normal fast-food restaurants where you get like, tons of people being... I love that ketchup waste, baby.

Let me dunk that thing in ketchup. You can get a more... Like, but though you're talking about, like, okay, if I want four ketchup's for myself, which is absurd. Why? Why is that absurd?

You're talking... You're talking... That's a lot of ketchup for one order, right? You don't need that much ketchup, Mitch. I do. You don't need that much. It's too much. Let's say you want four ketchup's,

20 cents. And let's say that burger was just 20 cents more expensive. You wouldn't even, like, notice. If it was, like, $3.89 versus being $3.69, you'd be like, yeah, whatever. You know what I mean?

So, like, it feels like they're not hiding that price element from you. And I think if you think of it that way, it's like, it's not that much money for just, like, a condiment that I'm gonna use. And if people don't need it, it doesn't get wasted.

Yeah, but also, other places just give you ketchup packets. Yeah, and they built that cost into the more expensive burger. Oh, all right, fine. It's fun. We're paying the five cents. We did it.

Here's the other thing I'll say about that, because I think, and I don't know their, I don't know their business model entirely. I haven't checked out their books. But the condiments cost five cents extra. Dick's also, and we saw a sign, we saw a now hiring sign in the window, the current pay rate, $16 per hour.

Talk about Fight for 15. They're already above that on their own. That's cool. We like that. And they provide healthcare for all their part and full-time employees, which is pretty unusual in the fast food sector.

That's cost to the employer, and they need some way to offset that. And I don't know, these nickels probably add up. Yeah. Probably the tartar sauce. I like the pain for the ketchup. I know what I'm just saying.

Like, this is maybe a thing to keep in mind instead of that being like, ah, fuck this place. They're trying to make for a ketchup. No place does that. It's like, well, think of what else they do that's unusual. Can I say this?

Yes. Something I did like paying for very much was those little onions. Oh, hell yeah. Those onions are good as hell. They were fucking delicious. Those were great. And we were dipping them,

we were pouring it onto the board. I wish that you could dispense them better. They are in those little cups or whatever. It would be nice if there was an easier way to get those onto a burger. How? What would work? A little onion gun.

You get the onion, you get the five-cent onion, they give you a little onion gun, you shoot it on the burger. Right. You give it back to them. Okay, you give it back. Or you can buy the onion gun if you want.

You can buy the onion gun if you want. It also works as a real gun. I'm like, maybe that would be bad. Maybe more people would get guns. And then would you keep your onion gun and you just show up? It's an onion gun. Yes, it only works with onions.

Wait, should it work for other stuff too? I mean, I think... It shouldn't be a real gun. Yes. It should not fire bullets. I'm sure... It should fire onions. Fire's onions, yeah.

It may be ketchup. Why not ketchup? What? I think you're describing a different sort of gun. What? Because to me, I'm thinking of something... Look, an onion gun is very different from a ketchup gun. Why?

We made it up right now. You're talking about the difference between a shotgun and a rifle. You're talking about the difference between something that does... Why? Why? Because that onion gun

is going to dispense a bunch of small pellets in a sort of widespread... Like, the ideal is you'd hold it over... You'd hold it like six inches away from your burger patty. You pull the trigger on that onion gun and it just sort of goes and sort of sprays the diameter of the patty

and just sort of distributes it evenly. What's wrong with getting ketchup that way? I feel like ketchup, you want kind of that narrow sort of stream. I feel like a mustard dispenser. Can you blow your brains out with an onion gun? If so, I wish I had one. If anyone's going to try, it's the Dough Boys.

But no, I feel like... Yeah, I think it should have kind of a scatter shot effect. Oh, so it like goes... Like, okay. That kind of goes out. It kind of explodes out. Can't the ketchup do that, too?

I feel like it's going to make a mess, though, because it's liquid versus something that's a bunch of small solids. If you've got a food gun, it's going to be a little bit of a mess. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you should just... I feel like you just have a different mode you switch to. Okay, the gun only does onions.

The gun only does onions. We like paying for fucking ketchup. You can maybe put relish in there. I feel like relish would also work. Oh, thank you, Nick! Oh, relish, hooray! I like that that's a big compromise to you. All right, fine, yeah, fine.

Fuck it, it could get relish, too, baby. I'm going to be at home tonight, unable to say I shouldn't have given on the relish. Shouldn't have compromised. I'd also say some diced chilies. I think you want a little hot, a little heat in there. All right, let's stop this. Hey, wait, you also got a little condiment, too.

Wait, what did you... So your thing on the burger was just you were confused by the tartar sauce? That was your only take on it? When I bit into that burger, I really liked the burger. It was good. It is a tasty burger.

We got mixed reviews with Dix because I feel like people were like, Taco Time is like, some people were like, it's bad. Well, here, Taco Time I feel like was like 50-50. Yeah. Don't go to this place. Yeah.

This place is pretty good. And this place I feel like was more, I feel like more 70-30. I'm just talking about social media reception. I feel like 70-30, we love this place versus like, Dix sucks is totally overrated. Yeah. Dix sucks.

That's fun. There's a lot of fun you can have with it. There really is. The audience is having a blast. No, that burger was... I think Roz would think of that bit. Roz is the friend. She's a producer and not really a friend of Frazier.

I don't know Frazier. I was like 11. Mitch, I think you got your spin-off podcast concept. You watched Frazier. I watched Frazier? And you review it. You don't have to watch it with a dictionary though. Am I looking up Frazier?

Wait, what was the question? You lost me with Roz or whatever the fuck it was. We were just talking about burgers. We were just talking about burgers. Oh, there was no question. You were continuing an observation. Oh, yeah. No, we were talking about how it feels like Seattle

is a little split on Dix, but I feel like mostly people mostly like it. I thought the burger was really good. I did think it was... The Dix Lux was... I could have eaten something else, but like Susser, I felt sick over the last couple days. It's a modest portion.

The fries, so they were more well done than I expected. I was like, these have a little bit of... They've really been in the fryer. I liked it. I like the crispiness to it, but you can tell they've kind of been in there before. Honestly, they were, I thought, much better than the In-N-Out fries.

How dare you. Thank you. How dare you. You agree? You agree. No, I said how dare you. What? I don't agree.

You don't agree with that? You're good at fries. I don't think they're bad. You're being ridiculous. No, I'm saying I like In-N-Out fries more. That's not ridiculous. That's my opinion. That's such bullshit.

I'm saying what I think. That's what I like in In-N-Out fries more, but I think these are good fries. They're very good. I like that they're done to a good level of crispness. Yeah, they're cooked. They've got good dipping sauces there. I like the five-cent ketchup.

This is bullshit, Susser. Help me here. The tartar sauce is a really good fried dipping sauce. I really liked that. I wish that was available more places. I really enjoyed dipping in that tartar sauce. It's a different sensation than dipping it in mayo or dipping it in ranch

or dipping it in some fancy garlic herb aioli. You get it a fucking gastropub. It was just straight-up tartar sauce, and it was great. I think that works really well for fries. You're mad. I just can't believe that you think In-N-Out fries are... I like In-N-Out fries. I thought Dix fries...

Look, I've had Dix fries once, and I'm basing this on a lifetime of eating In-N-Out fries. I have a sauce spot for In-N-Out fries. I get a little defensive about it. I understand people who don't like it. We can tell you're running out of breath. No, but I'm saying I get when people are like, I like In-N-Out burgers,

but you gotta admit their fries suck. Like, I don't have to admit that. I think I like them. I have to admit my truth, which is that I like them. They're good. And so... Jesus.

But here, here's what I was gonna say. If I had more Dix fries, I will allow this. If I had Dix fries more, I could eventually get to a place where I could accept that maybe I preferred them In-N-Out burger, but it would have to be a larger sample size. And I have to really evaluate them over a number of visits.

Great, great. I'm saying, but I like In-N-Out fries more. That's me being honest. So anyway, I thought the fries were better. So just to get to it, I think that the burger was really good. And my question quickly became, do I put it kind of at that In-N-Out?

Right, yeah. Shake Shack, like the... Shake Shack's a different price category. Yeah, it's a different price category. It's a different price category. More honestly, like... Five guys even, I feel like. Yeah.

Even five guys is more expensive, but it's kind of that same sort of thing. McDonald's is weird because it's like a good McDonald's or a bad McDonald's, they're kind of... That's crazy though that you say this, because I feel like Dix feels like

what I would picture McDonald's to be like 50 years ago. Yes. Oh yeah, I think that, yeah. This is the one Nick offered. But no, this is like the one... Oh, I thought that was genius. Do people say that all the time? Okay.

Okay, well, it's kind of like a frozen in time McDonald's. Yeah. Okay, but yeah, it does. It feels like what Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch were working at in the founder movie. It's like, oh, this is what the McDonald Brothers made. Yeah. But it's such a higher level of quality it feels like

than what you'll get at McDonald's, even though I love McDonald's. Well, back then it was probably... It probably was that, but it's clearly like such a... Like clearly like a tier above in terms of the ingredients and in terms of the preparation.

For sure, yeah. And we also got some desserts. What were you going to say, Sus? Yeah, no, so I think I just like... For me, the question was, is this, if I had all burger options, is it like kind of the best for the price and all that kind of thing?

I really was a question of, is it in like the top, top tier or just the top tier? I think I was kind of thinking. I'm still kind of thinking. Right. But yeah, we also had some desserts. You guys had shakes.

We both had shakes. I had a chocolate shake. Nick, you had... I had a vanilla shake. Uh-huh. He loves vanilla. And I love... Wait, hold on, wait.

You said I love vanilla, so I guess I... And he loves chocolate. That's what I... Yeah. Oh my God. No, it's like... It's like a Siskel and Ebert promo. They'd kind of be like,

I write a typewriter and he writes it a computer, you know? Like it's like kind of like... Yeah, I get it. I'm fucking Ebert. I get the joke. You love that you're skinny. I'm going to fucking fatten you up.

Like seven if I have to. I'll tie you down and feed you tomato sauce. Hey, there are worse ways to go. Yeah, you're just going to be happy that you're close to the death. I'm dying and I get to eat. Hey, all right.

And I had the maple nut ice cream. Yeah, maple nut sundae. Maple nut sundae with fudge sauce. What was that sundae? It just had... It's a very simple sundae. They just add some hot fudge to it. Do they have any variations?

Like you can choose what sort of topping. You can get it with butterscotch. Don't remember the other ones. But other kind of... Those like strawberry sauce, I think. But that's like a sundae and like... I mean, that's like kind of...

I mean, it's not a classic sundae. You're not getting... You're not getting some whipped topping. You're not getting some nuts. You're not getting a maraschino cherry. It's not like a Baskin Robbins sundae. But you're getting a little sundae taste. I just feel like the nomenclature should be updated

because it's not really a sundae anymore. It's ice cream with some sauce. Fine. Okay. Also, I feel like when we ordered it... I ordered it for you in the... Because you're my dad. This guy right here.

I was holding him up to the counter. You were so proud. You were like, this is the... And you did do it. But you said, I'm gonna order for everybody. Tell me what you want. And then you...

Like we all told you. And then you said, I'm gonna get it right too. I said, watch this. I fucking did it. I nailed it. I nailed it. Sure, I have bad seed,

but if I had... If one of those seeds works... If just one of those seeds works... I'll have a little... I'll be a great dad, is what I'm saying. Yeah. None of the seeds are gonna work. But yeah, so...

What were we saying? Also... Seed? Isn't that weird? Is that weird? I guess that is kind of like another old school, like greatest generation term.

And it applies dry or something. Oh, God, we shouldn't talk about this. I'm sorry. We were already past this. We don't have to talk about cum, right? Yeah, no, we can move on. Anyways. You were saying...

But you were saying you ordered for Sousa. I ordered for Sousa and the lady seemed not happy. She was like... When I said it's Sunday, I was like, maybe not Sunday. Oh, like that's a pain in the ass. She was kind of like, okay.

And like it was like for very... She was great. Because I thought the service day was great. But like for a brief second, I was like, she does not like getting Sundays. Is that like an odd thing? Do people not usually order that there? Is it a pretty basic,

like sort of no one gets the Sundays they offer it because they've always have? Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. But I gotta say this, I took a bite of it.

It was great. Yeah, it was good. The ice cream was good. Yeah. But I never had maple nut ice cream before. Yeah, I hadn't either. And I thought that was kind of an interesting thing for such a simple menu.

Yeah. Kind of an interesting flavor. I mean, it was kind of akin to a butter pecan, I feel like. Maybe a different name for a butter pecan. Like butter pecan, maple nut. I think I'm running you over, baby. I felt bad.

Yesterday at the live show, me and Mitch, we kind of picked on Nick for a lot of the show. And I thought, you know what, it's gonna be fair, especially after the late night that he caused and woke everyone up, him and Dustin being party animals.

This is so not true. This show, I'm gonna be on Nick's side, but he's coming in with all these weird comments. You're loaded with them. You just always have, you always got something to say. You're kind of a, you have a marting crane of this.

Just bringing us down, unable to relate to us. Hey, you know, I'll take the martin. The crane was cool. He says as he turned off his mic. There we go. It's so unnatural. I'm putting my hand behind my head right now.

Really relaxed. We should not have children, you're right. There shouldn't be a Weigur or Mitch Jr. Yeah. Mitch Jr. sounds nice though. Your name isn't, like your name isn't Mitch though. It's a nickname for your last name. So it'd be Mike Mitchell Jr.

Michael Mitchell Jr. I'll name him Mitch. You'll name him Mitch? Yeah, Mitch Mitchell. Yeah, Mitch Jr. He's Mitch Jr. His name is Mitch Jr. Mitchell. His middle name is Jr.?

Yeah, middle name, Jr. First name, Mitch. Last name, Mitchell. So he'd be like, he'd fell out of form. It wouldn't have something following it. He'd just say junior was his middle name. I feel like that would be nice. But you know what?

He would have junior after that too. So he'd be Mitch Jr. Mitch Jr. Mitchell Jr. But there'd be no, so you'd have to legally change your name to justify that. No, I'll do that on my shift. So you're going to be Mitch Jr. Mitchell Sr.? Certainly am.

Hey, I admire the commitment to the bid. Yeah, so. And how did you like your shake now? You are a big fan of vanilla shakes. I love vanilla shakes. People talk about vanilla being plain, but as I've said before, vanilla is a flavor. And I think it's a great flavor. It's not the default.

It's not unflavored. It's vanilla. It's very distinct and specific. Yes. It's been around for 200, more than 200 years. People think like vanilla is like, yeah. I don't know. Maybe it's been around for just 200 years.

Lucky we don't have Neil deGrasse Tyson up here. Fuck that guy. Actually, a year is just an artificial phenomenon. It's just tracking a number of rotations around the sun. Have people turned on Neil deGrasse? He's a fucking nerd. He's not in the good way. He's not like a bull.

He's a fucking nerd. He's not a cool nerd. He says some shit. I think I might be smarter. Most people are smarter than Neil deGrasse Tyson. Whatever. I'm looking forward to this ending in Neil deGrasse Tyson just beating the living shit out of you.

Good. Or maybe we can have a quiz off. I mean, you might have a chance at the categories where New England Patriots players and Dave Matthews songs. Yeah, I thought the vanilla shake was really good. I really liked it and I started sipping that bad boy and I was like, ooh, I don't want to stop. It was really smooth, great vanilla flavor, really creamy.

Did you really think that? Did you take a sip and say, ooh, I don't want to stop in your head? Yeah, I was like, I don't want to stop sucking this dick. You like it so much. Who fucks wrong with you? It's fun. I'll also say it was a cold day. It was not a good day for ice cream.

We still liked the shake. Really hit the spot. Yeah, it was good. The chocolate shake was great too, I thought. Yeah, we should talk about the dining experience real quick because it is a thing where at this location, I don't know if this is the case for all dicks locations, I understand the one close to this venue actually has an indoor space.

Is that correct? So they've got some tables you can sit at. Do any of them have tables outside? Because this one just has standing room. Some of them have tables. Some of them do have tables, okay. But this was just like a standing counter. But still like a very pleasant dining experience.

Like it's a very, you can eat it. It's not too sloppy where you're going to make a mess for yourself if you're just standing at that counter. It totally works. And Dustin took a picture of us and some nice Seattle folks waited before he took the picture. I thought there was a nice crew of Seattle people up front. It was a nice atmosphere.

People are friendly up here. People are very friendly. It's been jarring. We get to the Pacific Northwest. Everyone is nice. Everyone's so pleasant. We're not used to that. And we get out of the car.

We're fighting with each other. Where it's bad. We need to go back down south. Right. What do you mean? I think people are friendlier up here. And I was going to say that in my final review because I have one more thing to say about that.

But it's not a nice, I mean like if you like to stand in need if you don't mind that. Yeah. Then that's the thing. I don't mind it. You don't mind it? No. Do you mind the seat when I'm going to eat?

Well now it's seat to eat baby. How many out there insist on sitting when they're eating hashtag seat to eat? By applause. What? That's a lie. You all like the seat? How many out there are okay with standing hashtag stand by me?

Wow. What? This is the maddest I've ever met this podcast. You just liked the movie stand by me. I don't believe all these people. Yeah what the fuck? I think they're okay with it. Maybe they like dicks and they think that's going to

affect our rating. But you, I don't believe all these people love standing. I'm surprised by, no I'm surprised by the reaction but I can kind of buy it because like I'm okay with it. It doesn't bother me. Oh that's right. All these people sitting right now. Why don't you stand up?

There's a whole audience. Yeah no one's standing up. But I mean people will stand at some point to walk out of here. It happens in all their live shows. A few people are going now. It's sitting is better. They don't create cars where you're standing up and driving. But I will say, I imagine a lot of people...

I kind of like this, kind of like the standing car idea. That sounds great. It does sound awesome. Doesn't it? You wouldn't want that? No. Probably be good for your back. It'd be good for my back, yeah.

I have a standing desk that I can raise it and lower it if I want to sit down and that's been great for my back. I've got a standing car. It'd be pretty sweet. There'd be less traffic if everyone was standing. Right, you can fit into a smaller amount of space. This sounds like a nightmare. Taller cars.

This is what you want? I'm open. You're only hoping now, before this takes off, Mitch is for Neil deGrasse Tyson to shut it down as impractical. Actually a standing car would have more wind resistance. So require more fuel to be powered in the highways. Now you need them as an ally. But I was going to say, I imagine a lot of people

either take it and take it in their car. Yes. Maybe eat it in their car. There was a post mate there today, I believe. People probably post made it or they take it home. And in bike on eras it was. I think people would pull up in their car and then they would just eat it there, like sitting there, right?

Yeah, sure. So I don't think you have to stand. Yeah, okay, fair. I agree with that, but that's the only option that we have. That's really the only option there for us, yeah. We had a car. We could have gone to the car and eaten in the car. Fine, we could have gone to the car and eaten in the car.

But we had just been driving for three hours. Yeah, we wanted to get out of there. We wanted to stand. Wow. I hate this tour so much. I should be back with Wally and Irma. You want to check in on them? This is very cute.

Mitch has an app on his phone where he can look at his cat cameras and he calls to them like they can hear his voice. Irma is there. She's sitting right in the living room. Mitch is holding up his phone at the audience. We see his cat Irma. She can probably hear you. Wally, yeah, Wally appearance.

Wally is now wandered into frame as well. Oh, now there's a man in my house. He can't find anything to steal. He's walking out. Let's get to our final thoughts on Dick's drive-in. So with Cesar, you know how this works, but reminder for our listeners, we will go around. We will give our assessment and then we will give a rating

on the order of zero to five forks. Evan Cesar, we begin with you. It is tough. When we ate at Taco Time at Portland, I told you guys this, I ate and I just said, I know exactly what score I'm giving this. And I just knew. At Dick's, I've been thinking it over since we ate. And I would say I liked it a lot, but it just is so tough.

There's so much competition in the burger fry kind of space. The limited menu is cool. I like it, it feels throwbacky, but it is also limiting. The limited menu is indeed limiting. Now, while I like the fries better than in and out, I don't think I can say like the burger better than in and out. So I think I'm kind of in the four fork range. But the way that the employees, the way they treat the employees,

the general vibe, that kind of stuff, I feel like it kind of bumps it up a little bit for me. So I think I'm going to go with four and a half forks. Wow. Four forks, two tines. The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Temple of the Dog. A famous Seattle grunge super group.

They had a song, Hunger Strike. And it goes kind of, Nick, you know it. I'm going hungry. I'm going hungry. What do you think of grunge? What do I think of grunge? Oh, I think I'm in the grunge freak category. I like those guys, yeah.

What's your favorite grunge song? What do you say? Smells like preteen spirits? It was worth it. It was worth bringing them on the road. Unnecessary. I don't care. Holy unnecessary.

Go ahead, Mitt. Do you have a favorite grunge song? Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to follow that with a real answer. I'm not going to come up with another pun that fast. I just got fucking dunked on. You did. I was like Ewing trying to guard the Rain Man.

Sean Camps running down the lane. Putting it down on me too fisted. I look like a fool. Sounds like you're a good guy. Hunger Strike. Nick, your eyes got wide as you were going up in vocal range. I'm not a trained singer. I know.

You looked surprised that you were hitting the notes. I loved it. I was trying to get like, I was like, okay, I think I know where it is. Octively, but I don't quite have the vocal range. You look like you're on a roller coaster. It was crazy. I loved it. It was a good thing.

Geez, don't get mad. Susser said the preteen thing. I know. Look, you can retire Hunger Strike when you got dicks around. You're never going to go hungry again. It's good. It's fun. It's old fashioned.

Sure. It's a little, it can be a pain if you want to sit down. If there's a place where you, apparently everyone likes to stand who gives a shit. But there is a restaurant where you can actually sit down inside of it. And it is old school and it has, but I like that old school vibe. I'm going to say this. I liked the fries better than in and out fries. I liked the bun better than in and out's bun.

Wow. And I don't want to just compare the two. I did think that the tartar sauce was a little weird with the Dicks Lux. I wish they just kind of mixed up a little bit more, but I loved it. I liked Dicks. I really liked it a lot. And, and also I saw there was a man in need out in front of the place. And I saw two.

I did. This is true. I saw two, two Seattle Public Works employees offered to buy that man lunch. And I think Seattle people were good crowd. Right. That's true. So I'm going to go four and a half forks too. I love it.

Wow. It was great. Seattle people are good folks. You're not old, sad and grungy and depressed. You're good people. Susser, I'm going to go on my own coffee walk tomorrow. I know what a routine is going to take. I really like.

What routine is he going to take? The old public school system route. I don't know. I don't know if that really tracks. I didn't have anything. You shouldn't have asked me. I don't have smells like preteen spirit. Did you, did you come up with that on the spot?

Yeah. That's pretty good. That was really clever. That was very clever. Hey, Weiger, I'll go on that coffee walk with you. Sure. We'll go get coffee at 11 45 a.m. Okay.

So my expectations were tempered because there is one individual and he's just a guy that I follow, but he has good food opinions and he was, and he told me he was very. What is this mystery person? I'm not going to, I'm not going to shout his name because he's not a public figure, but he, he was very declarative. He said, he said, if fork, if, if Dix gets more than zero forks, like I'm not listening to podcasts anymore. And he was like, he, he meant, that was hyperbolic.

I mean, he probably doesn't even listen to podcasts to begin with. Why would he? Why would anyone? Why are you guys here? But, but I was like, but I was like, okay, a lot, they got a lot of enthusiasm when people, when we're asking people Seattle lights, we're asking people in Washington, which change should we go to? Dix was almost universally what people said we should go to.

And so there was also a lot of excitement, but I was like, I'm going to go in and I'm going to view this as a detached neutral observer. And you guys know me that like, I. Yeah, detached and neutral is a real stretch for you. How are you able to pull that one off? Yeah. Look, also we don't know you. Okay.

We've been on a road trip with you. You said like eight words. Saving the pipes to the pod. We look, here's what I was going to say. Uh-huh. If I felt the Dix deserved it, I would go with zero forks. If I felt, if I felt in my heart that, you know what this place is overrated. I don't think it's food.

It's food is very good. I don't care if Dix widow is in the audience. I will zero fork that motherfucker. I will do it. I will do it because that's what I feel. I have some integrity when it comes to my food opinions on this podcast. She's not. And thank God that generation is dying off.

But I thought the burger was delicious. It was so good. I thought the fries were great. I, I, I thought the shake was great. Like this is exactly what a burger chain should do. And the, the fact that it's like this well run business, that it's like this local favorite that has some, some corporate integrity, like just takes it up an extra notch as,

as Susser was saying, like that, that puts it over the top as far as I'm concerned. I, I close my eyes and I see a different Nick Weiger who isn't growing up in the streets of Long Beach in the nineties. Listen to Sublime and Snoop Dogg, but he's growing up in Seattle and he's listening to Alice in Chains and Mudhoney. Is your family up here too? Yeah. My family's up here in this scenario.

My dad has a job at a different place and so does my mom. They, they're mobile. My dad teaches. My mom was a nurse. They could find a different school in different hospital. They, they could go somewhere else in any event. Okay. Good.

That's covered. My brother would be up here too. Cause I know that was going to be another question. We'd all be up here. I'm a different scenario where we grew up in this, the Weigars lived in Seattle. Is Mitch in Quincy or is he somewhere else? Yeah.

There you go. Mitch, you're in Tallahassee. Okay. And it works. Hey, not far from Disney, right? Yeah. There you go. All right.

Fun. And instead of loving the Patriots, you go on and on about the Dolphins' perfect season. That they were the only team to go undefeated. It's, it's the opposite. You like that the Patriots went 18 and won because you're glad that you retained the Dolphins' perfect record. Are you asking me?

Are you asking me questions about the Banjo-Kazooie movie? Yeah, you're right. Wait, so in this world Banjo-Kazooie is more popular than Sonic? Right. Yep. Okay. All right. Look up the butterfly effect, man.

But anyway, I see a world where I'm here, and instead of craving in and out burger when I'm a kid, my favorite is dicks. And because nostalgia is such a big part of our upbringing, like that's such a big part. We have this, with this connection to the foods that we grew up with, and that's what we're craving. And I could see myself having a craving for dick.

And I could see- It's fun. It's fun. And I could see- Fine, it's fun. It's fun. It's very easy to find and replace what I love about in and out burger with, with the meal I had at Dick's Drive-In today.

It's very easy to connect those dots mentally. It's very easy for me to understand that I get why people have an attachment to it. And honestly, I wanted it again. And I was half thinking when we went over to get those salads, a normal temperature salad, at the grocery store to have a lighter meal, I was thinking of- Normal temperature for you. Yeah, which is cold like anyone.

But anyway, I was thinking, I was thinking like men- Straight to the microwave. I'm half considering going to that other dicks over there just to try it again, because I thought it was really good. I'm not going to fuck around here. Five forks. Why is it not five forks? Dick's Drive-In, welcome to the Golden Plate Club.

Oh my God. Money is being exchanged. A lot of bets on this one. They're all five cents. Catch up for everybody. That was Dick's Drive-In. It's time for a regular segment. We've got a mystery beverage, and you've got to guess what it is.

It's the Weigur Challenge. Weigur, Weigur, Weigur Knee. Weigur, Weigur Uppercut. Weigur, Weigur, Weigur, Weigur Challenge. Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge, Challenge. Gee, oh my God. That's why you stay silent on the road. You're coming up with a scene genius ideas.

So, I like that. Mike, Mike. Okay, there we go. What am I doing? What am I doing wrong? Okay. Is this working now? Okay, here we go.

All right. So, Susser recused himself because he and I went to the grocery store. He saw what the Weigur Challenge item is going to be, and so he is going to act in his role as a commissioner and... Wait. ...judge this. That means, Mitch, you are going up against a competitor from our audience. Who wants it to be? Oh my God, a hand shut up right here so quickly.

That's going up here, sir. Come on in. Yeah, wait. Do you have a homemade Spoon Nation t-shirt? Is that what's going on? Hell yeah. Wow, look at that. Hell yeah.

We're going to have to ask you to get rid of that shirt. Step up to the mic, sir. What's your name? Taylor. Taylor. Taylor, thanks so much for doing this. Welcome to the show. That shirt's awesome.

That is really good. Did you make that yourself? My girlfriend made it for me. That's wonderful. Oh, she's got one on too. What's your name? Maggie? It's fantastic.

Looks great. That's awesome. So I assume your allegiance is to the Spoon. How do you feel about going up against this man who you are an acolyte of and potentially besting him in single combat? I'm fairly intimidated. Wow. If you beat me, you get to become me.

You joined them on the tour. I stay here in Seattle. I'll clear my schedule. All right, so here's how this works. You have a mystery beverage that Susser has poured into cups for you. And you can use all of your senses to try and guess to your best knowledge what it is. I don't like the look of this one. Describe it for our listeners.

It looks like chocolate milk in some ways. A chocolatey milk. Right. Taylor, would you agree? Yes. Possibly a coffee milk. Taylor, do you like dicks driving? I do not.

What? Whoa. What would be your fork rating? And this is not canonical. It's not going to affect this play club. But what would you be your fork rating for dicks? Oh, he wins, maybe. Half a fork.

No way. Oh, my God. Wow. He's just kidding about Spoon Nation. He's Berger Brigade. I like the big brass balls on Taylor coming up here and saying, fuck you to dicks after it got this rousing ovation when it was welcome to the Golden Play Club.

He just whispered in my ear that he did tell the widow. Dicks, widow, half a fork. What the fuck are you talking about? We're talking about how nice Seattleites are. And I'm fearful now that outside of the arena, we're going to see Taylor getting this shit kicked out of him. All right. So go ahead and take some taste of that.

This looks strange. Tell us. Taylor, what are you thinking as you're trying to start a coffee with bad boy? They're nodding. I've got some thoughts. You've got some thoughts. I've got a coffee, flavored coffee feel. Tastes like bad seed.

There's a coffee. Man, this is a hard one because it doesn't taste that much even like it tastes a little like coffee. It's very gross. It's gross. Wow. You're both saying it's gross. Interesting.

I'm going to go with like a, oh man, I have no idea. Like a Frappuccino drink. Yeah. I mean, you have some idea because you can detect some coffee flavors. You guys are dorks. I'm going to say it's a Starbucks Frappuccino drink. Starbucks Frappuccino drink. Yeah.

Are you going to lock that in? Yes. Locked in. Okay. Taylor, what is your guess? I'm going to say a vanilla iced coffee, possibly a stoke. A stoke vanilla? That's the only iced coffee I think of that is in Starbucks.

Is stoke a local sort of franchise? I don't know. I don't think so. Did you just make up stoke? No one acknowledged it. No one seemed to react from the stoke. It's a brand I'm launching. Oh, all right.

All right. Have that stoke coffee, but stay away from that snoke coffee. That's bad news. It's regular sized. Oh, we found out that stoke is regular sized. He just looks kind of like a nothing. Yeah. It's kind of a boring choice.

If I may. Yes. Nick. I mean, Mitch. What? Do you have any? By the way, earlier on, speaking of flubs, earlier before the show, we were right outside the, we had just gotten out of our lift and Mitch tried to get my attention and he called

me Link. There's a reason I called him Link. There are these stone balls up there. I'm an idiot. Do you guys see those stone balls up there? So I got all excited because of Breath of Wild. And I said, Link. And I called him Link.

And I said, I mean, Nick. And I said, Stasis. Right. And then you and I went, yeah, because you, you could use Stasis on these concrete balls. Stasis on the concrete balls and talk them around. Yeah. No one else knew what we were talking about.

You should be honored to be called Link. I was honored. That's what I was going to say. It was like, maybe the nicest thing you've ever said to me. And it was an accident. Link is cool. But anyway, go, what were we saying? Mitch, Frappuccino, do you have a flavor of the Frappuccino?

You threw out vanilla, right? No, no, no. That was Taylor's. I said bad seed. Maybe I'll say chocolate Frappuccino. You're saying Starbucks. What is it called? Mocha.

Mocha Frappuccino. A Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino. Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino versus Stokes Vanilla Ice Coffee. A brand we are not sure exists. Taylor, you have lost the Weiger Challenge. Mike Mitchell, you got this thing as close to on the dot as I think you ever have. It is, in fact, a Starbucks Double Shot Energy Mocha Chino. Get back to your seat.

Taylor, take this gross shit with you. Taylor, Taylor, I have a consolation prize for you. I tweeted about this. I found this at a 7-Eleven in Portland. Peach Cobbler flavored chips from 7-Eleven. There you go. Great job. Enjoy, my friend.

Thank you so much. Big hand for Taylor, everyone. Wow, that sucks. You get it? Because Starbucks is from Seattle. Yeah. You dorks. I knew that was a part.

I knew you would choose some Starbucks thing. This is partly where we're thinking, like, will he overthink it and think, like, oh, it wouldn't be Starbucks because it's too obvious, but no. Yeah, but we didn't have to worry about overthinking when it came to the bitch. All right. Just like a rest right about your feedback, let's open up the feedback. So we're going to take some questions for you guys. We got a microphone right up here.

We got just a little bit of time left. Oh, and quick announcement before we get into this. We will be doing a meet and greet after the show. So there's some tables set up out there. If you want to form an orderly queue about five minutes or so after the show, Mitch and me and Susser will be out there if anyone wants a picture just to say hi. It is optional, so we understand. Yeah, you don't have to stick around.

You can get the fuck out of here. Last night we sat at a table when no one was there for an hour. But so we're going to take some questions from you now. If you can form an orderly queue in this aisle and ask us whatever you like, we will do our best to field it. So step up to the microphone. Hi. Tell us your name.

Hi, Frank. I was wondering what Hic Mitchell and Hic Mitch think about Seattle. Oh, Hic Weiger. Hic Weiger. And Hic Mitchell think of Seattle. There's a lot of coffee to keep me going. In so many moments to climb. I love this place.

How about you, Hic? Hic, I'm used to the dusty, the dusty trail. I'm not used to up here where they got all this fog and something called a sound that's actually water. But you know what? I could get used to it because they got that dicks around. Just a follow up of that. Hic lacks dicks.

No more improv questions. Yeah, that was our being pimped into doing a bit. Quota, we've met that. Thank you for the question, Frank. Overhold. Keep them coming. Hi. We've got two people lined up in red Doughboy shirts, one after the other.

Go ahead and step to the mic. Tell us your name. Yeah, my name's Robert. Hi, Robert. Hey, Robert. I was curious if you two, Mike and Nick, if you, Freaky Friday, in each other's bodies, what would you do? Let's say a week.

If you had a week to be in each other's bodies. I mean, I feel like I'd put on a lot of Lakers gear and take a lot of pics. That'd be fun. I think I'd also just like, I'd shave my beard because I know you'd be very upset that you'd have to grow it back. So I'd make sure you were completely clean shaven when you, unfreaky Friday back into yourself. But we know we have a week going in, right?

That's part of it? Sure. Yeah. I would tell Natalie that we had to separate and that she has to go with Mitch. But that would be Nick. Oh yeah. Yeah, but then it would work out after the week is over. Yeah, but then he would say, I would say like, no, he tricked you.

We Freaky Friday'd. Ah, curses. What would I do with you? You know what I would do? I'd fatten you up. You'd plump me up a little. I'd plump you up. I'd plump you back up to old Weiger size.

Hey, you know what? I like the challenge to lose it afterwards. Oh, what? Is that a challenge? A week? I could do it in a week if I wanted to. I'm like an anti-trainer. I could do anything I wanted.

I know one thing that you would do if you were in my body for a week, Mitch. Get fired from wherever I was working. Oh no. Crackles original new series. The Adidas sketch show. No. Okay. I won't make fun of jobs anymore.

Please hire me on those things. Hi, what's your question? Hi, my name is Josh. Hi, Josh. Hey, I just wanted to thank Mitch for getting prison Bush elected in 2004. Oh my God. Wow. But also, speaking of the mix that earlier, what would be the sexiest burger?

Is it purely round and curvy or is it several buns or lots of toppings? I want to clarify one thing. What do you think is sexy? I'm not some freak who's going to fuck a burger. I mean, literally sexy. What if the burger was designed to be fucked, would you? No, I'd be grossed out by the idea of fucking a food stuff. What if everybody was like, I know it sounds weird, but it actually is good.

What if Jim was fucking an American pie? Yeah. No, I think in this scenario, I'd still be skeptical. I'd feel like, no, I don't want to do this. All right, then tell us your sexy burger. I feel like I'm going to take sexy in the most appetizing sense. I think it would be something with not too much bun because sometimes these gastropub burgers, they put like a brioche or a pretzel roll on there and it's just a little too bunny.

And I feel like I want like the right proportion of bun. I want a little bit of meat peeking out from the corners. Like we're just getting like a, that patty is just, oh, it's just a little too big, which can't quite accommodate that big old patty. And then like, I feel like a lot of cheese, you know. I think it is turning sexual again. All right, fine. I'm hard.

You happy? No, but overall, I do think, I do feel like simple. Like there was a time when I'd say like, oh, throw some bacon on there and some onion rings, really load that bad boy up. But no, I just want that simple, clean, like basic burger, but just with perfect ingredients. How about you guys? Yeah, it was only to you. Yeah, it's only to you.

Oh, that was only me question. Oh, damn. I want a burger you can fuck. All right. Thanks for your question. Next question. Hi, what's your name? Paige.

Hi, Paige. So I was wondering. You're wearing a, wait, you're wearing a spoon brigade shirt? Yeah. What is going on? Wow. Okay. I don't like that.

Oh, have to pick sides. All right, fine. We like each other kind of. So I was wondering if you have a go to ready to eat meal from the grocery store? Wow. That's a good question for tonight. That's an excellent question. And it came up.

It came up tonight. Ready to eat. I will do like a prepackage, like honestly something safe, like just a prepackage salad, usually without a protein, because I feel like the meats in those prepackage salads have been sitting there for a while and they're usually like a little gray. I got an answer for you. Yeah, go for it. That rotisserie chicken, baby.

Oh, that's a great answer, Mitch. That's the best answer. Yeah. That's the correct answer. That's a piping hot rotisserie chicken. You can eat the whole thing. My trainer said I could eat a whole chicken if I wanted to. I mean, he said that like you could do it.

He was saying like, I think it's possible that you could easily do that. Maybe that's what he was saying. But yeah, Susser, anything come to mind? I also like the rotisserie chicken. For a while, I would eat grocery store sushi, but then I decided that was gross and I needed to stop that. Yeah, I think that is gross. Thank you for stopping.

You're welcome. And then I guess I sometimes, I don't know, I feel like I'm not happy with go-to grocery store meals, but maybe a sandwich, just a wrap. A Wolf Game Puck sandwich. Yeah, but I'm not happy with it. Yeah. Yeah, those are always kind of whack. I'm not as into them.

Yeah. Okay, so we have a question on the page. It looks like we got one more there. Hi, someone at a Burger, Burger Gate t-shirt. Hi. It's Burger, Bakerie Forever. Oh, God bless you. What's your name?

What's your question? Burger, baby. Hi, Jason. Hey guys. Speaking of Breath of the Wild, there's a lot of food in that game. Right. So what's the top Zelda food? That's a good question.

Ooh, we're going to end this episode on a bang. Our top Breath of the Wild food. Were you talking about the gunshots that are going to go off in the green room? No, I really, honestly, I'm going to go old school. There's a lot of great dishes in Breath of the Wild that you can prepare and it's fun, that cooking element. I wish there was like a recipe book. It'd be nice if like your recipes were remembered.

Oh, I like that. I know it'd be nice if you like, like, oh, I know how to make this soup now. So I'm going to, you know, I know that it takes this many zapshooms like, and then it's just like, if you have that in your inventory, it just comes up as an option. Because sometimes just remembering them from your head, it's daunting. Yeah. That's also part of the fun of it, but in any event. No one knows this.

No one, it makes no sense. Our stasis thing earlier was killing with this crowd. I'm going to go back to Zelda 1, The Legend of Zelda, a game that I started playing when I was so young that it confused me, but I grew to love it. The meat that you give to the moblin so that you can pass, like it's an item you get. You get a meat that you can give to a moblin. It's a hunk of meat. Someone knows this, right?

You remember the moblin meat? Thank you. That's my, that's my choice of Zelda food. That's my favorite Zelda food because it enables progression. You got to get this meat so you can move forward. I would like, I would choose the gunk. You know how when you like. Oh, when you fuck up.

When you fuck up and it becomes gunk. That's how what would happen to me in real life. I'd make gunk and I'd have to eat the shitty gunk. And I would go with chili dogs. Oh wait, that's another video game character thing that's just on my mind. No, I don't know. That's just what came to my mind. Thanks for your question.

Guys, thanks so much for being an excellent crowd. That's it for this episode. Thank you everybody. Evan Susser. Our producer Dustin Marshall. Big thanks to the Mira project. I don't know. I don't know.

Mike Mitchell and Nick Weigher. Happy. See ya. They're calling again. Scrambled eggs all over my face. What is it boy to do?