Doughboys - Do-Rite Donuts with Carl Tart (LIVE)

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

Carl Tart (XOXO, Gossip Kings) joins the 'boys LIVE to talk travel predicaments and Chicago before a review of Do-Rite Donuts. Plus, a surprise guest. Recorded live at The Riviera Theatre in Chicago on June 24, 2023. Get ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.comSources for this week's intro: wgacontract2023.orgsagaftra.org  Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a head gum forecast. Wow. Wow. Wow. Thank you. Hey, buddy, how you doing, Chicago? Hey, there's top people. The top people are here. Hello to the uppercurs. Thank you all so much for coming out.

As you know, if you listen to the podcast and have been paying attention to the upper deckers. Uh, thank you, thank you all so much for coming out. As you know, if you listen to the podcast and have been paying attention to the entertainment industry at large, there is a WGA strike going on right now. Thank you for that. So I don't want, I've given the same stupid fucking preamble at this top of every one of these shows, but just for context, I have a scripted intro that I normally do, but I haven't been doing those while the strike has been going on, even though it's technically allowed,

it's just a show of solidarity with Bayougan. So here we go. So, I did wanna give you all an intro, and this may be one you've heard before, if you were at our first live show in Chicago in March of 2019, did anyone go to that in Portillo's? We reviewed Portillo's. So four years of past, you're still listening to the podcast.

That's what I'm taking from that. Whatever. Anyway, here is the intro from our first live show in Chicago, March of 2019. Portillo's. On December 3, 1985, the Chicago Bears released the Super Bowl shuffle. A charmingly amateurish hip-hop adjacent music video with the team's players rapping as they execute a crude dance-root team.

Recorded before the playoffs even began, the track was an act of hubris that, thankfully for the Chicago Faithful, did not end up backfiring. And the Bears did in fact make the Super Bowl where they'd post a dominating 46-10 win over the New England Patriots. The champion 85 Bears remain a legendary franchise, known for a historic defense led by Mike Singletary, the punishing ground game of Walter Payton, and an oddball supporting cast including Jim McMahon and William refrigerator Perry. But the team's biggest star was arguably its coach. A Polish American retired tight end with a looks and cadence of a gruff police chief, Mike Ditka. The man nicknamed Iron Mike became a national celebrity

in Wendy City legend in the 1980s, and in 1990 Ditka parlayed his fame to compete on a new playing field, the fast casual chain restaurant sector. In December of that year, he opened the first Ditka dogs in Naperville, Illinois, one of 10 planned locations. But the outlets sported a menu that was suspiciously close to another Chicago area institution.

A beloved local chain that was founded in 1963 is the dog house by a man named Dick. Originally a trailer without running water in 1967, Dick moved his concept into a brick-and-mortar location where he gave it his last name. Gradually growing his menu beyond hot dogs into Italian beef sandwiches and legendarily decadent shakes. By the time Dick Kedogs came on the scene, Dick's chain had double-digit locations. And when Dick Kedogs didn't stop and merely copying his menu,

literally hiring away many of his employees. Dick, a man who professes a degree from asphalt university, fought back. In his recently released memoir, he describes how he paid Bearstar refrigerator Perry to make in-store appearances. Flue a banner advertising his chain over soldier field during Bear's game and offered cash bonuses

to lure a wave of his employees back just before the weekend rush, leaving Dick Kedog's flailing and ultimately failing. Dick considers forcing Dick Kadogg's closure as one of his proudest career achievements. And while Dick Kado later found success with an upscale steakhouse concept, the chain Dick founded rules the local fast casual scene

has become as entrenched with Chicago's identity as those Super Bowl shuffling 85 bears. This week on Doeys, Portillo's. And this week on Do-Boys, back live in Chicago, do right, Donuts. Oh, it's the Dunor Wars, the former Colonel War! Oh! Welcome to Doe Boys, I'm Nick Weiger, shiitown. Great to be back. I'm at the right mic now. Be a whole thing if I sat over there. You have no idea. No idea what that would start. And speaking of which, before we go any further, let me introduce my co-host, Scotty Pupin,

the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. What's up Chicago? Wow. Look at that crowd, Scotty Poo. What a house. Mitch. That's real good to be out of Minnesota. Yeah. Worst Wisconsin. We'll get to it. You know that you know as you know as a state, I guess, the couple of twin cities.

Yes. You know how you have a problem when you're like, man, you guys are too drunk and wild. We gotta go to Chicago. They were insane. That's like the Minneapolis. Minneapolis is the Midwest has gone too far It's the point of no return. It's the event horizon of the Midwest I thought they were thinking it back Mitch before before we get into that

There we go Before we get into that I have to acknowledge that that roast Was courtesy of and this is a thing I'm actually dealing with in real-time right now because they just got logged out again We have we were locked out of the roast Spoonman account So that roast was a last-minute save from commission always trying to hack the roast. They are, they are. Get stay out of there. That was a last minute save by a good friend, the commissioner Evan Susser. A Suss roast.

Fucking scab. Ha ha ha. Right and during the writer's strike, it's fucked up. By the way, Carl was just like, are we doing portillos? I was like, no. The weird thing he's doing, he's talking about the old ones, I don't know.

Fine. I think it's a pretty good compromise. This might be, I might not be able to get into my doc right now if I don't have, I got fucking signed out. And I think it's related to the Rose Spoon Man account because it's linked to my account. And I don't have my phone with me for two factor.

And my outline is on my fucking laptop. So my Google, like my thing that was signed in, when my laptop was preset, is no longer working. He's losing it, folks, on stage. Is your outline gone? Well, it's a whole fucking thing. Yes, it's yes. Look my my Google tab It's it's telling me to and that's me to verify my recovery email. Oh We're in trouble

You won't be able to function until we figure this out my phone is in the green room We'll figure it out my tummy hurts We'll figure it out. My tummy hurts. Let me see if I have it on my laptop because I might have stayed it off or on my iPad. Hold on. Jesus Christ. My tummy hurts, but it's not my fault. It was stuff I had to do for work.

It wasn't really my fault. I had to do it for work. You're putting it the wrong way, there you go. I never use landscape mode. Okay, this will work. I saved this offline. Alright, everybody. God, I could feel your panic attack. It was gross. I hate it. Truly,

getting me anxious. Hey, can we talk? Because, you know, escaping from Minneapolis. Yeah. Which we just did. Involved. What is this hole? Involved a last minute, a little rug pole.

What? A rug pole. I thought you said a rub hole I was like is that when you like dig a hole and jack off and do it That's how you did in the old west You didn't have tissue back then You know waste a valuable hanker chip on a load now you dig a hole you jack off and do it and A flower grows there and that's good luck.

So here's what happened. We were traveling from Minneapolis, we had a flight that was scheduled that at 3 a.m. I wake to a push notification that our flight has been canceled. So I do not at three. I woke to the notification. You woke up to the notification. I heard like a thing and I was like, what happened? I'm not the heaviest of sleepers.

And so I look and I'm like, and so that gives me and I'm like, what the fuck are we supposed to do? I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to look for new flights and I ultimately realize I'm up for like an hour and I'm like, there's no way I can fix this without consulting with everybody because all the flights where they're coming in later or a different airports, different airlines,

I was like, we just have to fix this in the morning. Yeah. So I go back to bed, I finally get back to sleep but like 5am. Wake up a little later and we didn't ask her to do this she certainly was not expected to do this no Amelia booked us new flights from LA

it was like 1 a.m. local time she booked us too we were supposed to fly into oh here where our fucking hotel was then we had to fly into midway instead so we had to also rebook our hotels I like their booing Midway. Midway seems like a fine airport. What's wrong with Midway? What?

It was fine. You were there. It wasn't fine. It sucked. It was bad. What's wrong with Midway? It looked like a time capsule from 1983. I get it, that's why the kids call it Midway.

You liked it. You know you did. The doughboys are in touch with the youth. Wow, Mitch just spun his had around, very cool. Oh boy, yeah, so you got to reach... This is more Chicago undercover cop than a Chicago undercover cop has ever looked. The barrel-chested guy with the tiki shirt and the backwards cap. You kids got near that devil's lettuce? Smoke some, go check out the bulls.

But I just wanted to say, because- Do you guys hadn't traded fucking- went away when I would get my tone on The end and trade of fucking Jimmy Butler we'd still have Marcus smart would be NBA champion fucked up Why are you mad at me? I don't do it. That's four trades ago Still they fucked up. They shouldn't have gotten rid of Butler though The NBA is unimaginable if we go back in time and we re-letigate like the trade that brought Jimmy Butler to Minnesota and then subsequently to Philadelphia

and then to Miami that's four teams ago. It's five seasons ago. They're fucking fault. A mad. I just wanted to say before you get off on a sports related tangent, I just wanted to give a proper shout out and a big ovation for Amelia

because this show might not have happened if she hadn't stepped up. Thank you Amelia. She saved the day. She saved the day. She put U3 on a new Delta flight, an old Mitch on a Southwest flight sucked. It's I said, thank you, Amelia with gritted teeth. Cool. Big guys love to travel on Southwest. She did a great job in an impossible situation because there were only three seats on the plane. She did. And so she had to find a different flight.

But yes, for the future, if there's a splinter cell arrangement, one of the two of us is perhaps a little bit more comfortable flying solo. I was ready to go home. I don't give a shit. This is the last. This is true. Wigor said this already.

You got to bring this up. This is the last tour. You also don't have to bring this up. This is the last tour until 2025. He's not doing it next year. Now take a little break. It's all right. You up. This is the last tour until 2025. He's not doing it next year. Yeah, take a little break. It's all right. You guys get one of the last shows.

Yeah, it's fine. You guys are here. You're getting a six-spirits in. We're going to end it with a fizzle. No, here's the thing. Like Minneapolis, they were drunk as shit, but it was a hot crowd, and I think it was a good show, which means this one will be bad.

So just like, you ready for that? That's how it goes. That's how it goes. That's how it goes. We had one good show, that's what that means, like, 12 bad shows are coming. I just speaking of, like here, one thing I like about the touring is when I get to experience each city's walkability in public transit and I got to take the red line over. Started underground, ended up being elevated. So I got a lovely ride from beneath the earth's surface

and then up above on the L, a total blast. I took the red line over, great line. A lot of very clear signage for someone who's not familiar with it, you can pay with your phone. Hey, how about that? I like that, that's convenient as shit. Hey, thank God he got his outline back folks. I got off at the...

Talk about the L for 15 minutes. Thank you. I got off the stop at Wilson. Had a nice little walk through, is it uptown, is that where we're at? And I saw this, I have such a great time every time I'm here, and this is the kind of thing of just, I'm not pandering here, I'm just like, what do you mean, you're what are I mean? The city rocks.

They had someone who had done,, someone had done, hold on. The city's all right. Hold on. Someone had done street art of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the notorious RBG, and then someone else had marked over it, dip shit. That's pretty good. That's when you know the Spoon Man's pretty good. That's when you know the spoon man's in town. The city's alright.

It's a good city. They got a little too much pride. Bad thing to say this weekend. Hold on. I don't mean that way at all, I love the pride that they have. I don't mean it that way. I love, I love, I love, I love everyone. I meant you have too much pride in your fucking city you asshole.

Jesus Christ. My heart is racing. I can feel my fingers. Spinner hat back the other way. There you go. Give me a butt bite. Stable. I love pride. It's great to see everyone celebrate. Pride. Happy Pride. Everyone I want to who? Carl and I would just talk about how you have too much pride in your city. Jesus Christ. Whew.

Alright, we're back. I love this city. It's look. Boston just feels like the third place city. You know what I mean? We're in comedy and everyone's like New New York is like, but Chicago's better. And then everyone says, fuck Boston, no one gives a shit about Boston.

Yeah, see? They're only on fuck Boston. What do you expect? All right, I get it, Boston's so shut up. Speaking of a city with a little too much pride. How about those Bostonians, huh? Oh, I can't believe I said the worst choice of words. My God.

Dear Lord. Um, Mitch, you got some ciders over there. And I usually try to stay stone sober through these shows because- But not after the shows, you- Because, that's true. But because I'm like- Also, you're a guy who say you like trains. And then I rode the Amtrak with you from New York to Boston.

And you were like, just sitting there sweating, looking at your switch. And a great time. It was like, what's the, what's the, what's the Clint Eastwood movie, the guy who's going to blow up the train? What is it called? Is it in the, it's not in great time. It was like, what's the, what's the, what's the Clint Eastwood movie? The guy who's gonna blow up the print. What is it called? Is it in the, it's not in the line of fire.

In the line of fire is the presidential message. No, the real one. About the real guys that you, Oh, the, the, the, I know what you're talking about. It's like 12s. No, it's not 310 to Yuma. It's a time and it's a city. It's not 310 to Yuma.

It's not 310 to Yuma. No, it's not, okay, 310 to Yuma rules. We get it, it's good. It's the city is something to Paris Paris yeah What's up guessing numbers 1570 no the taking a poem one two three is a different movie stop that it's like the price is right 1517 1517 to Paris got it

All right look here's a thing. We're, look, we're thrilled to be back here. We're yelling trains at us. Yes. We're thrilled to be back here. Y'all are great. We love you. At a certain point, you need to shut the fuck up because we've got to get through this thing. My shirt is soaked from like 30 seconds of saying the wrong thing. Hahaha. Jesus. Anyway, all I was saying is,

the show starts so late, I get so sleepy if I have a little booze. Yeah. You get sleepy without the booze. It's true, but tonight I've decided, it's a final show of the tour, we're in Chicago, big drinkin' town, and being a wine mom, I get some shardin A

Ooh you know you and I gonna relieve some tension after this show Wags let's hit him with a drop show Steve Bartman bashing asshole I love Chicago. Steve Bartman bashing asshole. Fuck them. Yeah, I love to hear what that like. I know I fuck Chicago too. I don't care what old Chicago says. I'm sick of Chicago shit. We're in the second city, aren't? New York, there no, we're in the second city. Shut the fuck up. Only thing that sticks more than day-madly shit is a fucking Chicago. There ain't no road just like it, anywhere I find Running south on a mature drive, getting into town

I got a clone Mrs. Murphy's cow, RMEB. Fucking light your city up again. Oh, no. That's right, Chicago. I forgot that. I forgot about that. What was that? I mean, I couldn't hear any of it.

Yeah, I can barely hear anything that's happening on stage. But I, I think I said that I would wanted the cow to come back and burden down the rest of Chicago. Okay. I think it was something there. Hi, doe boys. Long time listener, first time dropper. I created this drop just for the Chicago show.

Don't worry, Mitch. We all love you and no one cares if you will catch up on a hot dog. Wow. Okay. All right, some people are booing. Thanks. Bill below zilch on Reddit and Dosecord.

Thanks, Bill. Thank you, Bill. Wags. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one.

I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. They're delicious. Up in the balcony, he's gonna pull the fucking... The cider maker's... It's Ambrosia, they're delicious. Thank you, Ambrosia. This is perilous. This is John Wilkes Booth positioning.

You're gonna need a bigger bullet for me, baby. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Trying to get through my skull. God, I'm a coffin. I got you a coffin again. I thought I killed you last night. I told you that I jacked off into my shower. And then you told me you were cackling and you were like wheezing. I was like, is he alive?

I thought I maybe killed you. I didn't text you back after that. You didn't text me back and I was like, I kill him? Yeah, which would be kind of cool If I made you laugh to death I'd be I'd love to go out like that. I'd love to do it to you It would be pretty cool make it happen back I'm like it would be at the like your funeral. I like I couldn't help man. I just say I said something too funny. I just got him and Then it was like I was like what did you say? I? Took a biographer and jacked off into my shower

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy.

I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. I'm not going to be a good guy. What the? Mitch, should we bring out our guests? Yeah, we bet we've been way too long. He's funnier than us. What the fuck are we doing?

We know that everyone knows that. From the flagrant ones, gossip kings and grand crew, make some noise for Carl Tart. Oh Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wish I could do that. Carl, we got to start off by talking about what happened last night. I guess just yesterday, and this whole time in Minneapolis, with a chain we covered, Taco John's. Oh, my God. Do you have Taco Johns out here in Chicago?

But make noise if you like it. All right, can all of you guys get up and take a exit? There's four edges I see. You're wrong. That's bad. Taco Johns with some bullshit. Don't frown at me. You like Taco John's? Okay, good.

You're not, you're not, you're not to scare you into it. Do you like it legitimately or no? I don't, you said like your hate. So I just did this. Oh, sorry for screaming at you at the stage. I feel like it has a strong, they has a lot of fans. People love it. People, but, but a strong, it has a lot of fans, people love it.

People, but making us review it felt like a troll. And we are still in the aftermath of that. We are still living in the shadow of the Taco John's experience. Perhaps that's affected our assessment of tonight's chain. We're gonna find out. This cider has 134 calories. That's pretty good.

What's the four? A little piece of the apple fell in there. One little final piece. I like the specificity. That means they really tested it. That's a caloric value I can believe. They're right. The maker's up and right over there.

You can ask for the four. What's the four for? What's the four mean? Another apple fell in. Another apple fell in. We happy building. Another happy building. We're right. It was right. And Fruit has sugar.

I got to tell you guys what happened when we got off the plane the day myself and Emma landed before Mitch did he was on the Southwest flight. And so we waited for his plane to come in. And I was like, wouldn't it be funny if Mitch was driving the plane as it came in? That would have been great. The pilot let him taxi from the... But he gets off the tilted one way.

The wing is scraping against the ground. He gets off the plane and there's this like probably like 19-year-old blonde girl who's behind him and she got a Florida sweatshirt on. And he's like, that fucking bitch was kicking my seat the whole time. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. She fucking kicking my seat the whole fucking time.

She's fucking in college. Look at her. She got that Florida sweatshirt on. Cause she's a fucking Florida asshole. She was kicking my seat the whole fucking time. I would protest but that is I think exactly what I did say. Too old to be kicking my fucking chair. Wait the fucking grow up. Fucking asshole.

And then they they were looking me like I did something wrong. We said this like when someone's talking wrong then they look at you hmm, and you're like, you're the one who did it. You're kicking me in the back, you fucking dickhead. Yeah, yeah, not really, haven't really encountered that before. What the fuck does that mean? You know, I just not a thing. I'm familiar with.

Oh, Wigger is nice to everyone. Fuck off. You get mad too., piss me off. Wigger and I want a, Wigger M and I want a crop dust, like a little, a small plane. It's true. And I thought I had the seats to myself and to this woman showed up. Like, cause her, she was on the same flight

that got canceled. And so she had to get on our plane. And I was like passing out out trying to keep my mouth closed because I sleep like this. Ah, ah. And then I dropped my chick filet in the middle of the aisle and it was very embarrassing. I was like, who's chick filet is this?

And everybody can hear you because there's only 26 people on the plane. Who's chick filet? I'm like, it's mine. It's sitting right next to me, lady. You don't have to yell. No, I did experience the second-hand embarrassment of witnessing that entire transaction,

the Chick-fil-A falling, and then me connecting that it was next to your seat, and it was your Chick-fil-A, and then you being roused to account for the Chick-fil-A. I apologize. Also, you had to deal with that. It failed because I had it in my hand. I was sleeping perfectly with the Chick-fil-A. I apologize. Also, you had to deal with that. It fell because I had it in my hand. I was sleeping perfectly with the Chick-fil-A in my hand like this. Like a mummy holding Chick-fil-A.

Like a Pharaoh buried with his most prized possessions. A chicken biscuit with eight great jellies. And what scared me was turbulence. And then I like, I definitely bumped the girl next to me who I know she was so pissed that I was, I probably was like, oh, I'm fine. And then the lady was like, who's Chick-fil-A is this? I like, I apologize to her.

I'm sorry. And then I'm like, yes, my Chick-fil-A. This is the most embarrassing flight ever. This plane is too small. Yeah. We had a most embarrassing flight ever. This plane is too small. Yeah. So we had a weird ride over here. We got a new burr, and the guy was like, how are you guys doing? We're like, good, he's like, I'm going to install a loud horn in my car.

We were like, what? And he's like, you're going to be on a clicker like this. And you can push the button, and it will be really loud. Like, I'm talking like big time decibels. 120 decibels. 120 decibels. Wow. And I was like, oh, is button and it will be really loud like I'm talking like big time decibels 120 decibels 120 decibels and I was like oh is that horn gonna be you know connected to it like you gonna be No, you'll be able to use it. I'll be able to use my regular horn Yeah, you're gonna be able to still be there. Don't worry about that I'll use this one when I need it. When will you ever need that?

Get a really nice Durango Then he showed us a YouTube video he made for his son. Yeah, I hope he's not here. We're not roast to you sir No, no, it was funny. Yeah, he's definitely not here He's just for your Instagram and not mine. I know I was like his Instagram But I didn't think he wanted to talk to me the whole time, but he's like what's your Instagram? So you're not gonna like what I post He made it he made a YouTube video for his son What's your Instagram? So you're not gonna like what I post? He made a YouTube video for his son about power washing. He made an ad for his son.

That's cool. To come and power. No, it's not. You didn't think that was cool. I thought that was pretty cool. He's like making an ad for his son to come work for. I know, he was a strange man. He was like, my son gets 75% of it.

I get 25%. I'm also teaching my son how to money laundre. He said that. I'm teaching you how to money laundre. We were like, oh, good. I think. And he's not gonna go to college. Yeah, he's like, he's not a college guy. I wasn't either.

You're like, okay. And then he was like, he can buy with the money. He can buy like grocery store cards. And we were like, what the fuck are you talking about? That also he- Nice guy to wear Instagram friends. I stopped going deep with him when he was like, I should stay in West Hollywood, it gets weird at night and I was like, alright that's enough.

Not talking to you anymore. He was like me at the beginning of the show where I made a mistake but for real. Yeah, I realize as you were both talking through that that I can maybe do these shows with just my iPad and landscape mode. Wow Chicago this historic event. That's a nice revelation, that's a happy accident. Wow. We had another travel thing I do want to talk about, because Carl, you witnessed beat one of this in Minneapolis, where I have a pink away bag, promo code dough, and my away bag had a little red tag on it with a little airplane logo, it was very cute to distinguish it from other away bags.

It was coming down the little spinny carousel thing and it knows the tag had fallen off. I was like, oh, that's a little that tag's gone. Okay, well, whatever. Put it out of my mind. We get to our, the flight that we had to take to midway and Carl and I and most of the passengers because the tiny plane had to gate check our bags. So we're land, we're lined up in a queue afterwards to get our bags. A pink away bag comes out and a woman takes it takes her claim Co a claim ticket and takes it then a second pink away bag comes out I take my claim ticket I go over there

I examine the number which she did not do and I realized They did not match and so I put it on its side and I opened up real quick women's garments I was not my bag. It was not my bag. It was not my bag. And so it was a whole, we had to like chase down this other woman and convince her to do a bag swap and I let her inspect hers and I inspected mine.

But I almost got the bags were swapped. They have medication in their toiletries. What would I have done? She kind of didn't want to. She didn't want to. She wanted to. Emma was like, you want me going to women's restroom and look for her? And so they both take off.

And then I see this woman walk out with the pink bag. I'm like, she's right there. She's right there. And both Nick and Emma are just like, and I'm like, she's right there. I can't leave you. I can't leave Emma's bag. She's right there.

She's right there. She's right there. I can't leave you. I can't leave Emma's bag. She's right there. And then they finally got to her and it was He got his back, but she didn't want to do it. She was like, wait, what? What are you talking about? Thank God she got it back as if she opened your bag and saw the fucking world of horrors in there The thing is vibrate The thing is vibrate him. Shaking. It was on the whole flight. I want to talk about one Chicago thing and then we'll talk about Chicago more generally.

Yes, please. I want to tell you what the Chicago women, this lady, I like this one. Where we going? You know what I'm saying? This woman was like, oh, I would have shot myself. I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I'm going to say, oh, I like this one. Where we going? You know what I'm saying? This woman was like, oh, I would have shat myself. I would know. She didn't say shat. She said, shit it.

Then she said, shit it. Yeah. She said, I would have shat it myself. She looked me dead, my eyes. I'm so glad you guys found me. I would have shat it myself. And now I'm not anyone to please anybody's language. I say crazy things.

But to a complete stranger in the airport. This is the lady with the bag? Yeah. Like you could have said, oh, I would have had a heart attack. I would have died. She just looked me dead in my eye and said, I would have shitted myself. I said, oh, we in Chicago now. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

Wags, did you already have on your leather mask and fucking rubber ball in our mouth? LAUGHTER We are in Chicago and by coincidence, this venue is right across from the new uptown location of the place that Natalie introduced me to. And it's the best beer I have ever had. Beeria Zada Gosa, everyone's been there. It's fucking fantastic.

It's right across the street from the venue. Unfortunately, a little too heavy for a pre-show meal, but I was happy to see it. But I want to talk about Chicago generally, Carl, because you've been with us in the Midwest. I thought we'd done a Chicago Carl show before, but it's not true. Not true.

No. We did in Milwaukee. Yes. Cleveland. Right. Royal Oak Detroit, where the people are still mad at me. What? For doing what was right?

What did you do? I put cheese on a coni. Oh. Shut up. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Everybody's shut up. And let me tell you something Chicago about hot dogs. Why you guys saw against things tasting good?

Catch up makes hot dogs better. He's right. No, you can't have ketchup. I argue it. Jacia, hot dog with a shot of malort. Oh, really? You know, we were talking about a segment tonight and I wanted to do a quiz where

whoever got an answer wrong had to take a shot of malort. And Wiger was like like no fucking way? Why do you want to torture yourself and he's right in the at the end of the day? I do they have that here Do you have maloert at the bar bartender sir or ma'am they don't he said no no they don't I'll get it for you! Hot take. My lord is not that bad to me anymore since I Since my taste buds were forever changed by

COVID-19 and I will coronavirus. My lord now tastes like ketchup, it's great. I put it on my hot dog with my neon green relish and big ol' piece of pickle. It does suck your talking about that beer, beer, oh fuck. Beer, oh fuck. Maria, is that close? It's B-area.

Yeah, B-area is like the English-ish pronunciation. It actually is why I can only roll my ars with a little bit of runway. But it's like more like a beer. Beer. Beer. But it's like a soft D almost for the second r, for the Spanish r. I regret this. Like we, go ahead.

See, but that's the whole thing about rolling your toe. Like I need a little I need like a little bit of like a I need to ramp in do it Drinking a little wine Drinking a little wine Gotta do it Now do it Birria Yes Kindness

Offensive We talk about all these good restaurants. We can't go. That's the thing. We can't go there. Well, you think we can go? No, I'm just saying good restaurants. You know, maybe we want to one today. I'm just saying we'll get to it. Before we get to that though, the Rigglyville location of do right doughnuts, sold out of food.

That's right. You did it. You fucking slabs. You did it, you fucking cro sons of bitches. You ate the Rigglyville location out of food. Not doughnuts, not chicken, food. Yeah. You did it.

We got some napkins soaked in grease, if you want. Yeah, give me nine sides of coleslaw, just whatever they had. That's like biblical shit. Doe boys are up there with locusts and fucking out. Reigning fire. I don't know how to feel about it anymore except that we can't like go to the location That's closest to the venue because that happened also in Detroit our most recent visit We could not have gotten a table at the buddies that was near the venue

So we had to we've had to go to a little bit more of a far-flung location, which is what we did today They sold out of food. Why? Yeah out of food That was a shit show. That was a shit show. I don't know how to feel. Two people working. Two people working. That's wild.

We made their life living nightmare. Yeah, we'll figure out what to do. How to handle this in the future. When we two are in 2025. So before we get into this, we're talking about donuts today. Carl, Mitch, donut fandom. What do you, what do you fall in terms, where do donuts fall in terms of your breakfast pastry,

hierarchies, in terms of your fondness for sweet treats in general? When it comes to donut fandom from me, I would shoot donuts so they wouldn't be with anybody else. Wow. Wow. If I can't have you, nobody can. Wow. That's what a lady wants to hear first or foremost.

Ha ha ha ha ha. What the hell is going on? Everyone's leaving? Oh shit, oh what the fuck? Ha ha ha ha ha. Show sucks, they're leaving, I get it. Where did you get that T-shirt and red? Uh, I don't even have one of them.

That's my damn T-shirt. Baltimore Pinchy Crab shirt from the Flagrant Ones. Very cool. What was I talking about, I forgot. Donuts, you're a fan of them. Oh, I like them. Yeah, I love donuts. I used to have donuts all the time as a kid.

So much of my fandom for donuts is what I think of is like, it's like a family-owned business, oftentimes a Cambodian immigrant family that has like a local shop that has a donuts, you know, like all, they all have kind of similar donuts with like the coming a pink box. And that's what I think of what I had growing up in Southern California.

And so I have a little bit of inherent skepticism when we have sort of the higher end, shall we say, gentrified donut that you are encountering more these days. Like I'm always coming a little bit like, OK, let's see what they've got to justify this thing that I remember being 60 cents now being You know five dollars, but mine came from one man his name was Fred He had a mustache and he said time to make the donuts. Wow. He was the Dunkin Donuts guy

You know, I don't get the reference. I'm young Fred the donut maker to make the donuts you don't remember that don't know it I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal.

I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I'm not sure if it's a big deal. I don't think they're actual donuts or they're they're they're made in a central low kitchen now and shipped out to the stores. I apologize to me right now before I walk off stage. You don't disrespect fucking Fred that way. He's dead for God's sakes. He died before I was born.

I don't know if that's true. I don't either. He kind of looked like the micro machine guy. He talked slower though. I mean, who didn't talk slower than the micro machine guy. He talked slower though. I mean, who didn't talk slower than the micro machines guy for crying out loud? I was this whole thing.

I don't know what that means. You know what the micro machines guy? People know the micro machines guy. Yeah, because everybody here is 45. Everybody in Chicago is 45. Yeah, they pop out 45 year olds right out of a wound. Thanks, they pop out 45, you're all right. Thanks, Ma. We're getting toasty in there. Le Estague Standome podcast.

No, I hear you reply. Well, thanks to Babel, I know what that means. Do you? Recently, I've been learning to speak Spanish with Babel and you can too. Because with Babel, you can start speaking a new language in just three weeks. I don't know what it means, but my guess is with the response of no,

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Well, why is here's a special limited time deal for our listeners to get you started right now. Get 55% off your Babel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babble.com slash Doe Boys. Get 55% off at Babble.com slash Doe Boys, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash Doe Boys. Rules and restrictions may apply. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know Mitch, I think we both had those times when we weren't sure where our lives were going. What to do?

Who to talk to? How to get through it? True. But you know what? Sometimes in life we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. This way? That way? Oh, wait, the path is right in front of me, but I needed someone's help to show me the way. That's right, Wags. Whether you're dealing with decisions around career, relationships, or anything else, therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life.

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Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slashdowboys today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHEL-E-L-P, dot com slash doboys. So with our thoughts on donuts as a baseline, let's talk about do right donuts. This was founded. First off, we're covering this partly

because you demanded it. And I was kind of surprised because there's a relatively recent chain and usually what people want us to cover are like established, you know, like longstanding, like a Portillo's of the world. This place has been around for 50 years. It's a generational thing. This place has been around since 2012, I believe.

Founders Jeff Mayhin and Francis Brennan were working at a two-star Michelin restaurant called L2O. And they wanted, they were working there at, yeah, to L2O, I guess, a well-regarded local restaurant, the duo dream of opening a donut shop, which is very the bear. That's like a the bear thing. Dumb bear. Hahaha. FX is dumb bear. Hahaha.

So they now have seven locations in Chicago, I believe, and they are expanding and we went to the Willis Tower location. Better known as Sears Towers, do you fuckers? That's right. This was explained to me by Carl that this was the historically the Sears Tower. Yeah, man, I know Chicago. Well, the crypto.com Willis Tower. Those Lymey fucks trying to come in and take the Sears Tower name. The Willis group is British, aren't they?

Are they? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, British. That was just told to us by our pal. Mm-hmm. British people. Yeah. Here's my thing with British people. Here we go.

No, I'm all getting to that now. So this location is, it's kind of a food hall. It's in the lobby level and we kind of had to circumnavigate the building to get inside. But inside there's like a sushi place, there's a shake shack and there is do-right donuts, a little storefront there with a counter. I wanna shout out a few people. First off, we met, and I believe it was Aaron and Amanda. Is that right?

Did I get the names right from Michigan, celebrating their wedding anniversary? I call it, it was two A's. I apologize if I got a name wrong. And they didn't. Someone just started their was celebrating their wedding anniversary. Oh, yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That a dope boy show. Are you here? Yeah. Did I get the names right? Is it your wedding anniversary this weekend? Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.

Sorry. And sorry. But as dope boys fans, you cannot have sex. So sorry about that. And we also met Nathan, Matt and Kyle from Iowa, who came out here. Is that trio of bros here today? They're there, they're in the back. They weren't brothers, were they?

They were like bros. They were all brothers. No. And that sense, okay. So here's what happened with Nathan, Oh, brothers. Oh, in that sense. Okay. So here's what happened with Nathan, Matt and Kyle. This was after we had, we met Aaron and Amanda in line. We met Nathan, Matt and Kyle when we were already eating.

Two things happened and Mitch, we both got roasted by separate individuals in this triforce of Iowans. First thing happened, Nathan says, we caught that w'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm it kind of just exploded? I'm I'm low to demonstrate on this cup of of Shardonnay but

I like I had there was a lid on it and I thought the lid was on and so I went to like do like this But then the lid was was not fully on it was like how the fuck were you holding this thing? Now here's the crazy part with the lid not being on You took the lid off you holding this thing? Now here's the crazy part with the lid not being on. You took the lid off. You, he was dipping doughnut in the cold. It wasn't my fault. It was my fault. And I'm like, he's for sure not gonna pick that cup up

and try to drink from that lid. No, not my friend. Not my friend who's a genius, very funny guy. Has worked on some of your favorite television shows. Not him, he's not gonna do it. who's a genius, very funny guy, has worked on some of your favorite television shows, not him, he's not gonna do it. Guess what he did, Joe. I spilled, so we got that. The next thing that happened

and Mitch you were caught with a shrapnel, Kyle says to me, does Mitch know that his shirt is inside out? It was a collared shirt too. And I said nope. I didn't notice the three X shown that three X fit off to the world. Lovely people, great meeting them all. Yeah, they're a real nice fucking asshole.

And speaking of lovely people, our server at the Do Right Donuts, Gabriel, was phenomenal. Fucking alpha. This guy, one of the all-time Do Boy's servers, here's the thing, I think he saw you and me, Mitch. And he's like, he saw us lumbering up to the counter. And he's like, uh-oh. Okay. He got a dozen donut box ready. Yes.

He identified, he clued in, clocked two fat losers who were almost crying, and was like, okay, I'm gonna take care of these guys. It was very doula energy. He was just like, we're gonna get through this, we're gonna figure it out. It reminded me of the first time I bought a Pornomag and Carl, you're too young to have ever bought print pornography, I'm sure.

I talked you through your first purchase. I went up to the, I went to the newsstand, I was 18 years old, and I was like very nervous, and I was paying in cash, and I know I had to show my ID because I was a young looking 18. Jesus Christ. And I had my like copy of Asian Taylor, whatever, and I was like, and, and I was paying for the guy, and the guy was so, he could tell how embarrassed I was, for the guy and the guy was so,

he could tell how embarrassed I was and how, like, I was like almost crying and shaking. And he was just like, and I was like, oh, sorry, I need four more senses, like don't worry about it, you're good, man. Just calm me down. He's got it in his office in the plastic sleeve, like a collector's item.

I think I got the China Playboy, was one of the first ones I got. Wow. Where did you get that? Oh, 7-11 or something shit. I also just jacked off to like my mom's like, JC Penny magazine. Yeah, like you jacked off to whatever you can.

100% baby. You dig a little hole out back. Shoot your load. I need you to take it. So was it really, was that really the title of the magazine? I don't remember what Warno it was. But Gabriel anyway, sure, put us through this process. He was very, very gracious.

The Marisha tail sequel. Where's Fival? Where's Fival? This movie's weird. And he stewarded us through purchasing all of our donuts and sandwiches and drinks. Let's start with the donuts, because that's what this place is. Do right donuts. And did they do it right? That's what we're gonna find out. Do hyphen R-I-T-E.

I'm just gonna alphabetically list all these donuts and then we'll talk about that. We got a dozen. We got a baker's dozen, we got 13 donuts. Blueberry Crumb Cake, Boston Cream, Chees Danish, Chocolate Old Fashioned, Chocolate Glazed, Cinnamon Crunch, this was a Gabriel recommendation, Cinnamon Old Fashioned, Maple Bacon, Michigan apple fritter, raspberry bullseye,

Val Rona, chocolate cake, vanilla being glazed and vanilla birthday cake. Was that 12? That was all 12? That was 13 I think. Apple fritter you mentioned? Yeah, I got them all. All right. These were these were, look, I'm just gonna say it. These donuts were fucking great. I love them. I think they're so fucking good. They were really good. Again, I'm approaching this from a place of skepticism,

because I'm like, justify your price point, justify why I should go to this place that's, you know, like a little bit more of a hipster place versus this family-owned business has been around forever. Uh, but it absolutely justified its existence. I thought that cream would make every Bostonian proud. That was great. The cheese Danish was a huge surprise to me.

I was not expecting that to be so delicious. The cinnamon crunch was a fucking home run. The texture that don't it, because it's kind of layered like pastries. Like, and it's got such a maculate texture to it and it's really balanced with a cinnamon even more so than a cinnamon old fashioned which is also fucking good.

The maple bacon, I did not have any of the bacon but I love a maple bar, I love a maple bar. Nick is Muslim. And. What do you say? Nick is Muslim. We want you to bake it. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. So I, but just as a maple donut, I thought it was a great execution. I don't know if we can do this. But we snuck his bacon onto your donut. I'm just realizing we never told you that. What? How dare you. We put his piece of bacon on there. It was very good.

It was very good. All the donuts were good. I was just standing. I was slightly good. All the donuts were good. I was just... I was slightly overwhelmed by the fritter because I thought that was going to be like the top. We had high expectations for the fritter. And that's maybe the one that didn't that underdelivered.

But I'll say this. I'll say this. As a vanilla enthusiast, and I said this to you, Carl, and you said the same thing, we're looking at vanilla birthday cake. You know I love vanilla, vanilla is a flavor. Birthday is a great flavor. I'm looking at this vanilla birthday cake with a little sprinklies. I'm like this should be my favorite. It wasn't

my favorite but it was very good. And the vanilla being glazed I thought was a wonderful execution of a concept I've seen before. See other places try vanilla being glazed and I think there's a best version I've had. I have to, this is a perfect time for me to mention this. I want to. I'm on a fast pitch baseball team of ladies. And we all are bad at it. And all my team, this guy, Brandon Winters, who is a fan of

Doe Boys, and he saw me on the baseball team the day. And despite all the work I've ever done in my life, he came up to me and said, Hey, man, next time you do Doe Boys, will you tell Nick that there's an ingredient in vanilla that comes from a beaver's asshole? Is that real? And it's called like Castorium or something like that. It's like they emit some type of goo from their ass that is used to make vanilla flavor. He's not in the long it seems like

he knows. I haven't heard this specifically but I've heard a lot of similar things and Emma was also talking about this as well. What it comes down to is that the... It's beaver ass goo is vanilla? When you've got when you've got the the... Because people don't want to put artificial flavors on packaging anymore. When that's on an ingredient list, it isn't gone. You don't get no more real than beaver ass. Right. So to qualify as a natural flavor,

it has to beat certain, you know, standards that the FDA sets. And one of those are like them just being an animal byproduct. So yeah, I know like a lot of, like natural coloring for a lot of red products comes from crushed beetles. So a lot of red candies that aren't vegan because they've got, they've been used like a crushed beetle enzyme or whatever the fuck has been used to color them.

That's wild. Yeah, so I fully believe this, I fully buy this. And you know what? I don't mind it. Doesn't matter. Doesn't bother me at all. I like vanilla myself. Yeah those fucking millennial beavers. That's how they figured this shit out. They don't want to work.

They don't want to work. Now. All they want to do is shit out vanilla. Did somebody say crushed beetle? Oh no. You got me scared per minutes. Now don't worry. You're fine. I was nervous. Okay. We're like, Preston.

Relax, Paul John, George Oringo. You're fine. I thought these donuts were fucking terrific. I really love them. And if this place just had donuts, I'd be like, there, this place fucking rips. I had a great time. At the time I see a beaver, I'm coming right for its asshole.

Because it was tasty as hell. Careful, it might put up a dental dam. Oh, Jesus. What the fuck? Clap! That's a good joke. I want to hear your thoughts on the donuts, though, beyond that, because I kind of went through the roster of them.

Any other standouts, any ones you particularly loved? I did, the cheese Danish one was fire, and that's crazy. It was fucking good. The raspberry one was on point. Yes, I like the jam I was I was a little in pattington mode. I was loving the jam. He won. Yeah, the jams were good raspberry jam was delicious I and I love you were in prison also. What's that? Talk about how you were in prison as well like pattington The patting to go to prison he does you haven't seen pattington too? Paddington goes to prison and Paddington too?

Bitch, okay, so. That's like such a comedy leap, that's insane. It's, look, you know, I love. Did that murder? You know, I love. Oh. Did she ship someone over some Marmalade jam or something? No, it's so much more awesome than that.

You know, I love the Despicable Me franchise. Despicable with me three, the minions go to jail. They take over the joint. Paddington and Paddington two goes to prison. He does not take over the joint in the same way. Oh cool, thanks for making me relate to it with another children's movie. No.

This is the thing I'm gonna give now, again give Natalie credit for. She for a long time was trying to get me to watch the Paddington movies. And I finally sat down and watched Paddington and Paddington two, They are both masterpieces. They are tremendous. Paddington too, the rare sequel that exceeds the original.

And there's a whole thing. Brendan Gleason is one of the prisoners. And they have this amazing, it's just an incredible emotional arc for this sweet little bear that he care about so much. And he just wants to make Marmalade, make people happy. But he's so clumsy. He can just buy, you know, he's such a sweetie. You love him.

And it's got such a wonderful ending. Like it just like ties everything's together so well. There's a climactic set piece where you're genuinely concerned. You're like, are they gonna do this in this children's movie? Are they gonna do this to Paddington? You're feeling that as an adult viewer of this movie. And they fucking pull it off.

It's incredible. Your poor wife, you're sitting there and fucking minions overalls. She has to talk you to the more adult's pattington movie. And in the big pocket of your overalls is a copy of Asian tale. Yeah, Asian tale didn't just come out of nowhere. Mitch, any other donut thoughts? Hmm. I didn't try one that was bad.

There were all good. There were all good. There were all good. I ate the Boston cream. I don't like chocolate and I don't like Boston and I There they go again you fucking Chicago and Fucking last time you guys want a championship fuck off Oh, they won the Stanley Cup.

The world's the only thing I'm wrong. Sorry. They were all the donuts were fucking good. And let's talk about the breakfast sandwich a little bit, which I was surprised by. Carl, you got the Denver breakfast sandwich that smoked ham roasted peppers and tilumook cheddar and you opted to get that on a donut, by Carl, you got the Denver Breakfast Sandwich at Smoketam Rostad Peppers until a muck cheddar and you opted to get that on a donut, what you can do there? Yeah, so I paid the dollar upgrades to get that sandwich on a donut.

Then I got the sandwich and there was mayonnaise on it. Now, I don't have a problem with mayonnaise. Man-Nays, a lot of people in here. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't have a problem with man, there's. But on a donut, I ain't gonna like, I'm through me off a little bit. Yeah, man, Mayo and donuts is not a classic mix.

Yeah. Man, Chicago won a championship more recently than Boston, huh? Wow. Well, you guys know, cuz' one 2016, you guys cheated in 2018. Oh my God. Oh, no, we won the first of Dodgers, okay. Yeah, you cheated.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. God damn it. But what did you think despite that? Despite that, I thought it was good. Yeah. I think if I'm gonna get a donut as my bread, I want more of a sausage situation.

But the way that, see, here's my problem with the menu, the way the menu is set up. The options, none of them sounded great together, so I think I just went for the thing I was like, this will be the, because I got to try the donut sandwich. That's what we came here for, right? Yeah. And I was like, the sausage one didn't seem like it was gonna be good.

I wish I could have built my own maybe or something like that, but it was. That's where you're wrong. The chicken sausage sandwich. Yeah, so that's the one you got. And that's what, because the Denver breakfast sandwich at Smoke Tammah, I didn't have a taste of that, but the sausage on this one was chicken,

so I did sample this one, Mitch. This was one of the best bites I had. This was fucking great. It's just cheddar, mayo and a brioche bun, chicken sausage and egg. And it's simple, but it's just wonderful execution. I thought it was fucking delicious. Fucking home run. It was so good.

You said it while we're eating, you're like, this is maybe better than the fried chicken sandwich. I think you maybe are right. Yeah. No, and that they have like savory sandwiches. It's not all the gimmickery of like here. You can get it on a donut if you want. If you want to go in that direction, but that it have like savoury sandwiches. It's not all the gimmickery of like here. You can get it on a donut if you want,

if you want to go in that direction, but that it's not just that. They have like actual good buns for their breakfast sandwiches and their chicken sandwiches, which we also got. I got the spicy fried chicken sandwich, another recommendation from Gabriel. This is just a chicken pickle, male lettuce, and bread and butter pickles as well. Or I guess that's maybe just the description of the chicken, pickle, mayo, lettuce, and bread and butter, sorry, it has bread and butter pickles as well.

Or I guess that's maybe just the description of the pickle. Pickle, it's maybe written in a weird way on the description. And a hint of spice, I'll say a little bit more. What's the description? The description. The description says pickle, mayo, lettuce, bread and butter pickles. Pickle, mayo, lettuce, bread and butter pickles. So pickle is in there twice.

I don't know if that means there's a dill pickle and a bread and butter pickle. They're distinguishing them or if that's just the way the menu copy is written in a weird way. This shardonnay is starting to hit me a little bit. Oh boy. You want the last four calories on my side? Two hours ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha All right, all right. Nick, please, we have a flight in the morning. More than a hint of spice is what I would say. This is some decent use of it, because you're gonna buy to this.

I ordered mine spicy. I don't know who came spicy. I got the CBR. Chicken cheddar bacon and ranch. It was good as hell. I got that as well. It was good as hell. I got mine spicy, but it did not taste super spicy, but I loved it. It was very good.

It's a really nice execution of the chicken breasts. I got mine spicy but it did not taste super spicy but I loved it. It was very good. It's a really nice execution of the chicken breasts and I will say that yeah, I like the heat on mine. You know, I'm a bit of a heat seeker. Okay. So... When... When something actually has some real like punch to it. I don't know if he said the thing. Hahaha.

This is what I've learned from TouringMitch. You just have to embrace being a fucking carny. Just lean into your bullshit. You don't think I've done that? I dance this awesome power. Hahaha. I'm saying what I've learned. So staying in the chicken realm, Carl, you got yourself some chicken tendies.

Yeah. With barbecue, ranch, and honey mustard dip and sauces. Okay, I got all, the chicken tenders were juicy. Hot, crispy on the outside, juicy, and nice on the inside. Delicious chicken tenders. The homemade ranch was solid. A1, barbecue sauce, a little bit to vinaigree for me. Is that a thing that y'all do here?

You booed me. You like vinaigree barbecue sauce? Sir, there's four eggs in the back if you can. Five, that was a little bit close. I don't like a vinaigree barbecue sauce. I like a sweet barbecue sauce. And the honey mustard had a strong hint of horse radish in it, which just caught me off guard.

They also didn't give me enough. It was only that much in a little thing, but that's okay, because I didn't like it. It had horse radish. I don't like things with sobby horse radish. I don't like things that are spicy, but don't have flavor. Yeah, okay.

I'm with you. That makes sense to y'all. Yeah, it does. Like, I wanted to, if it's gonna be spicy, it could be hot as hell. But it's gotta have some other flavor in it. If it's just hot, if I'm just like, ah, this is hot, and I'm bored.

I don't want that. Yeah. But the ranch was solid. Ranch was delightful. The ranch was good, but it wasn't strong enough to break through my sandwich. I wanted to taste more ranch. Right and have enough on here.

Yeah, maybe not. I dumped it on there. Why do they call it a horse radish? Not the place to ask this. But I popped into my head. Did they feed it to horses a lot? I don't know the enomology. Okay, I thought you might know.

Which is a big radish. Okay. Oh, all right, that makes sense. You know. Man, they just sat down. Were you on our flight today? Yeah. What is that you don't know for?

Huh? Did I say that I saw you on the nose for? Wow, okay. Wait, you were on the bear flight? I was very close. I was very close. You were very close. I chick-fil-a thing? You think you, you think you,

would you see me drop my chick-fil-a? You think you, you think you, you think you, did you see me sleeping with my mouth open and then waking up as if I had Coke jaw? I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you,

I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, I think you, And get your real coke jada maro baby we're going out on the town wow Huge year that Fucking Chicago. I don't do no fucking cocaine you monitor. I shouldn't do a line of call for my heart will like explode I do straight fit no Jesus the town of Chicago cheering a fat man doing cocaine is insane The town of Chicago cheering a fat man doing cocaine is insane. There's a couple sides, they have a coal slaw which was just kind of insubstantial. And fries which I thought were quite good.

Great fries. Great fries. Fresh. What is fresh? Never fresh. A weird spot. It's weird. Donuts and chickens, they're just weird. It's a weird thing. I don't know. I think it makes sense.

I mean, it's just the sweet and savory. It's the same principle as chicken and waffles, right? It's just like you're taking a sweet side and a savory side and you're mixing them together. It's also like a counter. I mean, we didn't go to one of the, I guess there's more sit-down spots, you know, but it's strange. I don't think it's a bad thing Imagine working in that building and eating that for lunch every day. I know right man

Jesus you have stairs closing deals got it I'm gonna try to get sandwich on a donut Raspberry bomb plastic donut Every single day. Chicago's thinnest to man. I do love the Midwest. Fit right in. The real slender man over here, why is this great?

You all got some lemonade. Lemonade was great. Lemonade was very good You all got some lemonade. I mean, it was great. Lemonade was very good. And a hazelnut iced coffee, Mitch. No, we got the Nutella. Nutella. Oh, Nutella. I think it was called hazelnut on the...

No, no, that was different. That's a different one. Okay, never mind. Nutella. Nutella. Motte? Is that what it was? Mm-hmm. It was good.

Yeah. You had it. Yeah, it was not overly sweet for a place that lives so much in the sweet realm. So that was nice. And I got dark matter coffee, which again I spilled most of, but the parts, the tips of it I had, it was delightful. Great, great brew and great for dipping. I forgot to mention the Texas toast.

That was at the bottom of my mouth. That's right. That was, that was pretty good. I told you, but they should make a comic strip with you where like, you know, someone gives you like a truclicer in or someone gives you like a sperm sample Yeah, you're just you spill ever you I don't know how you do it and you told me that your your dad doesn't spill your brother I was steady hand now steady hand. What is it? Why don't know it happens all the time I got a spill gene I got a spill gene. It's recessive baby, I don't fucking know.

Yeah, I spill shit. It's okay. It is okay, it's fine. It's fucking fine. Go on with outline, I'm sorry I brought love, Jesus. God, this is gonna fuck, he jerks off too much. Jesus Christ. He's trying to be helpful. Yeah. Yeah, you know what maybe he is. I don't know.

Well, look, let's get to our final thoughts on Do Right Donuts. The Coastlaw. That's right. The Coastlaw, yes. Do Right Donuts has Coastlaw. I'll just say this. The Coastlaw will affect my score. Wow, that ain't good.

That shit wasn't good. Be real with yourselves. What is your own version to things tasting good? You need it some ketchup. Just kidding, just kidding. It doesn't need ketchup. It doesn't go on that. It goes on hot dogs.

How does... How does jerk enough to much make your hands shaking? Mmm. It's like a war flashback thing. It's like remembering how much you jerk off. Yeah, I've just got... I got my hand around a cylinder, so I start making that motion instinctively. What's up everybody, it's your boy the spoon man, Wags, the most important people in my life.

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Rocketmoney.com slash do boys that's rocket money dot com slash doughboys rocket money dot com slash doughboys well let's get to our final thoughts on do right now that's Carl you know the drill I go first yes your thoughts your fork score one thing is for certain that you all know about me if you know know me in this room, you know, I did not come here to pander to you. I refuse to. I refuse. I refuse. I'll fight every single one of y'all in here.

Why? Thank you. Thank you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Man, we would not be able to help Nick and I helping you in that fight. We're just fucking... I'm getting my ass whipped. I'm in on my head. I really enjoyed.

The sandwich to me was the idea of eating a sandwich on a donut is very intriguing. I ate half of it. The mayonnaise scared me. The chicken tenders were very, very tasty. Fresh out the fryer, burn my mouth, had to eat my dish. I'm like this. I'm like this. I'm like this.

The donuts, every single one of them, that I ate, including the three that I shoved down my face when Mitch was knocking on my door, being like, the uber is here, they go to the show. He's peeping outside, it's a fucking loud horn. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That's for us. Let me just get one more. He's doughnuts in. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. 4.754. Wow! What a score! Wow. That coleslaw was bullshit. Wow.

Cost of the time. Take it off the menu, do right. Mr. Do right, you done wrong with that coleslaw. No! No. You done wrong with that cold slow This couple in the purple was snapping your score KFC is better Yeah, I said it got damn it Wow KFC is better than I bullshit. He didn't like one item I did not like one thing you should have heard what I said the Minneapolis last night because that shit was You should have heard what I said to Minneapolis last night because that shit was fucking wow I saw someone in the audience after you said KFC was better just shaking their head

Well, he likes KFC's cold slot more than do right donut's coastline. It's not a big deal. It's a fine position The fine position the coastline also feels like it's only on the menu It's like a dollar and I feel like it's only on the menu because they use it on one There's sandwiches already so there's like I fucking get aside if you want kind of a tossing great score great score very good score go ahead Mitch We were trying to come up with a song that we were gonna sing at the end of the show. We didn't come up with one The closest we got was Don't us do Don't us do The closest we got was Donuts Do! Donuts Do! Hey Chicago, what do you say?

Sorry, you came to the show today. That's really good. Should have done it. How are you? We didn't practice that. I mean, I don't know if it was good enough to say we didn't practice that. Can you believe we didn't practice that? Um, I don't have to say we didn't practice that. Can you believe we didn't practice that? Hahaha.

Um, did you write donuts do right by the spoon, man? Why? The answer is yes. I love the donuts. I love the chicken. I give Chicago a lot of shit, but you guys know food. You fat fuckers. You know food.

And that's why I fit in so well here. a lot of shit, but you guys know food, you fat fuckers. Yeah, you know food. And that's why I fit in so well here. I love it. A fucking delicious donut and a fried chicken sandwich. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this. We can't. Okay.

We got to take, we got to take 2024 off your right. Right, sure. My mom is worried. She's really worried. I mean, you can keep making comments about Pride. We can take the whole podcast off, and definitely. I did not mean it that way. These people will die.

I love everyone celebrating Pride. God love you all. I love you for real. That's the truth Chicago too prideful. Yes But they should be proud there you go of do right donuts because to me Fuck Minnesota extra hard fuck you Minnesota Fucking fill in the right land of a thousand lakes, fillin' the rest of the land with lake,

just put it under fucking water. Because we got the best lake here in fuckin' Chicago, Wigz. Wow. We got the cubs. We got fuckin' second city. We got Kanye West, huh? Ooh, interesting.

Don't know how to feel about that anymore. Chance the rapper, okay. You know, not as good as Kanye. I still listen to Kanye, come on, what am I supposed to do? Oh you're gonna boom me shut the fuck up My Kanye Michael Jackson gotta mix I got the I got the Robert Blake my canceled mix Woody Allen's jazz band Phil Spector catalogue Shit some good music Damn, this is to be my little baby goes. I'm only here for Phil

Do you write donuts? Did write by me. Five, four, wow. Very good score. I feel like shit. I went back to the hotel and slept till the show. I won't see any of the city. This sucks.

But five forks. I'm also not here to pander. And as I mentioned, I came in with an open mind, but you know, admittedly a little bit skeptical of this sort of concept. People, sorry. I was just gonna say, like, people are like, it's fun to tour, right?

And you're like, oh, it's fucking horrible. It's horrible. It's awful. It's like, if Led Zeppelin, like, just had to shit all the time. Yeah. It sucks. Yeah, like, you have to do your job, but also you have to travel every day, and every meal is a punishment.

Playing the solo to stay away to heaven and a fucking duce is just fucking developing in your stomach. Jesus! It's disgusting! It's what we do! That's true. That's part of the base line. You're gonna hear the nitty gritty, this is what we do. I actually like it. Carl has fun. It's a good attitude. I don't do it as much as these two, they just bring me on when they're full of shit.

Carl, we're extremely constipated. Can you fly to Minneapolis? You got it. extremely constipated. Can you fly to Minneapolis? You got it. So I mentioned earlier that it was coming in with a little bit of skepticism towards this concept and also that we are in the shadow of the Taco John's experience. Yeah, maybe this is a three-four, restaurant. We just have no idea now. Let me say this. The thing about do right donuts is, they're not being overly playful. They're not being too pandering. They're not being too precious with it.

They're not being like, oh, it's like a retro donut shop. It's not being too like, hey, we've got the the Blues Brothers Barry donut and chance the pastry. Like, they're not doing shit like that. They're just leading with the food and the food is on point. And I love that the concept is so specific and like we're doing donuts

and we're doing chicken sandwiches and we're doing breakfast sandwiches and we're doing them all to the best of our ability. Can I have quick finger jacks? Yes. I want that Blues Brothers donut. It would be good. It would be good. They should put it on the menu. Sorry.

But the sense I got from this place is that it's just all like about just like true passion for making this this kind of food and making it accessible and making it delicious and well-executed. Every part of this experience delivered. I thought to me, like, this was the complete opposite of my Taco John's experience, which to me, they made us do Taco John's as a troll, but you all had us do do right donuts because you genuinely have affection for this place, and it's really impressive what they've done in the ten years since they've been opening. I just this to me is exactly what I want

from a chain restaurant, particularly a new wave chain restaurant. I loved part of it and that's a five fork experience for me. Wow. Fuck Taco John's five forks for do right donuts in the golden plate club. Congratulations. Who would have thought one little cup of coastlaw kept it from the platinum plate club. I didn't come hit a panda. Get the get the coastlaw better. Be better. Do better.

Donuts. There you go. All right. Do better. Donuts. I fucking love this place. It totally a totally come back. This is fucking good. Go out to a river and grab up some beavers and squeeze their ass holes and put it in the cold slow. Hey, you know what?

That was our review of Do Right Donuts, which means it's time for a segment. Wow. Mitch Carl, we've got some local popcorn from Burkos Popcorn. It's Snack or Wack. Popcorn or Slop Skorn Edition. Emma, what the fuck? Wow. And now, the starting lineup for your Chicago bags!

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From North Carolina Wait, sorry, I mean from Boston our surprise guest judge author of raw dog that they could truth about hot dogs Jamie loftess I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to be here. Wow. You never got to see the bulls of the 90s. I think that's probably just as good. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I'm too young, so. Wow. You too young, too? What?

For the bulls? Nah. Ha ha ha ha. I shoot my free throws like Bill Cartwright. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's also great to have a hot dog expert here. That's what I was saying. Because we're in such a famous hot dog city and Jamie, I did want to ask you based on your expertise researching the subject. Chicago style hot dogs.

Your take. Well, I've taken a lot of shit for my take sun Chicago hot dogs. I think they're too wet. Wow. I think they're, I just got here. Give me a chance to win you over. They're a little bit wet. And Jamie, we just talked about this recently,

but what are they missing? They're, okay, what are they missing? They're missing a little toast in the bun. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. What else do we talk are they missing? They're missing a little toast in the bun. Yeah, that's fair. They're one thing. What else do we talk about them missing? Oh, ketchup, obviously. Wow.

Wow. Oh, my God. No, you don't. Oh, my God. Everyone here needs to move to Pittsburgh for one minute because that's ketchup city, USA. Oh, my God. Wow.

Everyone, I feel like I've really tanked this show. No, no, you're doing great. Everything's fine. Everything's, they're so mad at us. They're so mad. They can get a little soggy. I don't know what the top spot, look, I like a good Portillo's dog, but I said to Carp,

I said should we go to, we talked about go to Wiener's Circle, but I don't know what's good. I know that Wiener Circle is an institution, right? Yeah. Wiener Circle rocks. I've never been there before. Super dog is super dog, a big one. Yeah.

Super dog. Wiener Circle puts cheese whiz on stuff. I like that. Shout out Detroit. Wow. Wow. Fuckers. I regret this already, but what is the hot dog spot?

Yeah, I regret it regret it I have I have a I have an opinion I Like I like red hot ranch red hot ranch. Yeah, I got him back. I know I like get him back We almost reviewed Red Hot Ranch. Red Hot Ranch Rocks and the Hot Dog Box Rocks. That's a newer one. Red Hot Ranch sounds like a place outside of Vegas where you can spend a few days with a lady. They got a mini series on HBO.

Jamie, do you have, do you have any, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, a, like, like, a, like you have, do you have, do you have any, like, do you have any thoughts on donuts in general? In general, I was, I was personally injured when people were saying that the Dunkin' Donuts were not good. Yeah. Cause they taste like dust, but I like that. I feel like I was really like, I was conditioned on a dusty donut and when one, it has substance, it kind of freaks me out. I'm like, why, why is it, like, I think, I was really like I was conditioned on a dusty donut and when one it has substance

it kind of freaks me out. I'm like why is it like I think that that has actually like kind of set the tone for how I view a lot of food as too wet. That's a good point. And Douglass coming back it's coming back. Look I like their breakfast sandwiches their donuts. You know BK is back we it's coming back. Look, I like their breakfast sandwiches. Their donuts, you know. BK is back, we proclaim it back. BK is back, yeah.

Mikeus did find a blue bag inside of his long chicken sandwich. A blue bag? He found a piece of a blue bag inside his long chicken sandwich. What? He found a piece of a blue bag inside of his long chicken sandwich. What? I got it. He found a piece of a blue bag inside his long chicken sandwich.

Oh, three-poor harmony. Oh, that-poor harmony. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I rolled it around. You rolled it around. Wait, what? Do you ask if she stuck the donut, the hot dog threw the hole? I was just trying to think of like how you would execute that. That would be a lot of trouble. Stop that way. OK.

That would be like an airdrop and then, yeah, it would flop right through the donut. How would you eat that? What are you thinking? I don't know. It would be a little cumbersome. I was just curious. But fuck is wrong with you.

I think that's a reasonable question. Kind of like a diet bun if you use a donut because there's part of the bun that's missing. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, don't it's kind of, yeah, it's good diet. Diet place replacement. Let's talk about popcorn a little bit. Burkos popcorn.

You're a popcorn skeptic. I'm a bit of a popcorn skeptic, Matt from Bercos popcorn brought these over for us. There's a few different flavors. We're going to sample here. We've got the Carlos Gays game opening these up. Jamie, where do you stand on popcorn? Is it snack? Very pro. Very pro.

Do you have a favorite variety? Favorite type? Oh, I'm so dumb. I think probably smart food from 7-Eleven, we did. OK. Yeah. And you go see a movie in the theater. Are you getting yourself a popcorn tub?

Of course I do. Yeah. Wow. And then I go, what I do is I go, either I go heavy on the butter and I don't mix it in. So it's really intense at the top and boring for the rest. Or I'll do butter on the top and then put M&M's and then really mix it.

People do that, the savory sweet mix. Yeah, it's nice. I'm gonna try that son. I'm doing science experiments. I got a straw going down to the bottom. And I'm getting the butter in the straw. And I'm shaking it and like, I look like you holding any drink.

And there's like butter all over my hands. I'm gonna try to get it to the bottom. You know the thing about like cutting a hole in the bottom of a popcorn tub and then you stay, is that apocryphal? That's never actually happened, right? That's so hard to do. Just an urban legend.

Wait. What is that? What is that? That's hard for a lot of people to do. That's hard for a lot of people to do. That's hard for a lot of people. There's an unpopped kernel at the bottom of this bag. And then the person's supposed to put their head in the bucket and stuff every part of this.

I don't like it. That's insane. No, it's insane. What are the bucket gets stuck on their head? It'll look like a damn fool. Yeah, they got to go play guitar for guns and roses. Is that how it happened? It's what exactly. It's what head was going it was going down on somebody fucking got the bucket stuck on his head Sucking his buddy off it a fucking met in black and was like, oh man, I'm stuck with this got the bucket stuck on his head. Sucking his buddy off it, I fucking met in black and was like, oh man, I'm stuck with this thing. Or learn how to shred. Jamie, have you had a, okay, so I'm curious because the Chicago style hotdog is such a specific thing

and this is such a great food city, but it's also like, beyond the Chicago style hotdog, there's also like sausages here, like that's a big sausage town I don't know how much time you've spent in the in the windy city But I'm curious if like you've ever encountered a different take on a hot dog as opposed to the neon relish Celery salt varietal that we're so familiar with yeah So the place that I was just plugging. It's a newer place. It opened in it towards the end of 2020

On the south side in originally it was in of 2020 on the south side. Originally it was in Boxville on the south side, but now it's moved. But it's called the Phile Mignon Hot Dog. It's like this father-daughter run business called the Hot Dog Box. They were originally supposed to be an ice cream business. And then they're like the other person dropped out and they're like we're pivoting to really fancy hot dogs. Wow. So it's this dad and like his teenage daughter and they run this amazing hot dog business.

It's so fucking good. Wow. Yeah, it's great. That's how this fucking is going. Everyone should they have like a their own brick and mortar now. It's awesome. I went earlier today. Wow.

You're good. Sorry. Is that exactly? You just go to a city and you're like, because you're passionate hot dogs. I'm just going to have a hot dog. Is that on your agenda a lot of the time? Yes, one hot dog I love here and then one hot dog I haven't had yet.

Wow. What's the one you love here? Oh, the one you just said? Hot dog box is great or red hot ranch, whichever I'm closer to. Yeah, red hot ranch is fucking great. Okay, the one you just had. Hotdog box is great or red hot ranch, whichever I'm closer to. Yeah, red hot ranch is fucking great. Okay, you win. You win. What's the one you haven't had? The one I haven't had, and this is like a big one that I haven't had is Gene and Jude. I still haven't had. Yeah. Wow. I, but the thing with hot, with Chicago hotdogs, and I feel like everyone's gonna turn on me again, but so many of them are just like first names hot dogs

And they start to sound like minions, you know They're like Dave's hot dogs Kevin's hot dog like it's like Stewart's hot dog. Oh, look what you've done Mel's hot dogs that you could keep going Is there a minion tail? All right. Minion tail magazine. OK.

So far, look, as much as I am a popcorn skeptic, I'm also a truffle skeptic. But I think that is a good execution, the white truffle one. But the big time butter. Ooh, that is big time butter. That is the buttery and delicious. It's really nice. I do have a truffle skeptic.

We have a lot of the same flavor profile. Yeah. I don't like truffle. And the best truffle popcorn ever had was here in Chicago at this place called Avery. Is that the truth? It's fun. Yeah, it's a little like, speak easy.

When was Scott Arkham and ever heard of him? Yeah, we know Scott. He's kidding. Wow. Not well received in Chicago, Scott. Can't wait to tell him that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no your taste, but this is very fucking good. I'm a fancy boy and I like truffles. Save them up and put them on my pene. That's what I say.

Who out there likes truffle, hashtag truffle shuffle. And who out there by applause or booze, disproves of truffles, hashtag truffle curfew. Oh, wow. Truffle, Curve, Fluffle. Pretty even split. Truffle's good, you're wrong. It's nice.

Taste is so subjective. If you want it, it's good. You know what I'm saying? It overtakes a lot of it. It takes over. Which, send those two over, those ones that you have over on that side. Jamie, how are you feeling about the popped corn you've tasted so far? I'm really loving the cheddar. The cheddar right? The cheddar right? The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. The cheddar right. Theises the world famous mix, and I'm having the white cheddar now.

But I will say the more savory ones here are really hidden for me. You know, again, maybe that's the thing, just like, a lot of the popcorn I had growing up was just at a Regency Theater or something, and it was not like a well, a great execution of it. When I have a good version of it, I'm pretty happy with it. These are great snacks. I like the trouble of popcorn quite a bit. And I like the white cheddar. You're taking home and eat it on my 60 stares that I have a good version of it, I'm pretty happy with it. These are great snacks. I like the truffle popcorn quite a bit.

And I like... Take a home and eat it on my 60 stairs that I have. I have... Just do like a Hansel and Gretel style trail for yourself. I have 60 stairs, Wig. And you know what? I have three bidets. That's insane.

And his ass is still not clean. Take that back, dude. It is fucking, it's spicking span. My bad. I didn't mean to insult my friend like that. You heard it here first, folks. Mike Mitchell has the cleanest ass in Chicago. Okay, so the best ever mixes caramel and cheddar.

So again, it's the sweet and savory, it's those two combined. I will say that world famous white cheddar is a real more is more approach. There's just so much cheese flavor on that. And it's so potent and I find it not overpowering but delightful. I think that that's my favorite for sure. I've never seen my butthole before. Is it two people? It's hard to see.

It is, right? I tried. I looked in the mirror and I'm like, can I see it? And I was like, yeah, I gave up pretty quickly. You need a hand mirror. You're not going to get it done with a wall mirror. You need a hand mirror. So what do you do with it?

You go down with a hand mirror or what do you do? You kind of go down, or maybe you use it, you reflected off of another mirror, like you're trying to fight Medusa. Nick turns on an ice-spice song, and he goes in there and he looks at it. You can use your camera, although it's hard to get an infocus picture. Oh camera.

So like, hold on, yeah. This is, I'm being kind of serious. You just, you would spread with one hand and then just take a cell, and like kind of take blind selfies. I haven't done it, but I mean, like, I would assume that would be the process. I've tried to take it of my,

the crown of my head to see how bad I'm balding and like, that's even hard to get in focus. So I imagine Butthole is another degree of challenge. I can be done, I'm sure. These burcos popcorns are delightful. I really like them. I'm saying, as a popcorn skeptic. That's great. I'm sure these burcos popcorns are delightful. I really like them. I'm saying as a popcorn skeptic I want to see that guy someday

My butthole We've been through a lot together over the years. I Feel like the thing when buttholes though is like it depends on the lighting if you're trying to take it because I'm most curious of like What the color is and so I've just had other people describe it to me That's good. That's a good tag of name. You're a doctor. I'm like, yeah.

Well, like, and then, yeah, like, you bring your doctor to a paint store and then you go to the appointment. And you're like, is there any adjectives coming to mind? You're going to the Home Depot to the paint section, okay? Yeah, to the bare section. Use that for the back splash in your kitchen. I love the shade. Pinkish brown.

I thought you was going to, I will honestly say, and it's just because I'm not a truffle fan, that's the only one I would give a soft whack to. The other three are big times snacks. These are great. Burkospopcorn.com, if anyone wants to check it out. And Matt from Burkos Popcorn is local. How would you like?

I mean, I loved all of them. Yeah. I think that butter mix is maybe my top one. It might be the best, but I think I have such a fondness for cheese that I think I'm going with the cheddar. The cheddar is also very good. But, and then I think I would go, I think for me I would go truffle in them big time,

and then the mix. That's my rank, my rank my official rank Carl you got a hierarchy? Yeah, I'm going butter first But I never mix second white cheddar third truffle last but all of them are very good. Yeah check out burcos popcorn Jamie get a ranking I have to try the butter. I haven't tried the butter No, but I know that cheese is going to be my top. It's always going to be my top.

I'm a smart food girl from day one. And that cheese is really good. The butter is good too. OK, so I'll go cheddar, the mix, the caramel, and cheese mix, butter, and then truffle. I'm not a truffle head. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. I'm not a truffle head. Yeah, I'm with you.

Yeah, we're on the same page here. What's the Chicago? Isn't there a Chicago mix? Oh, shit. I'm bringing up a rival company. Yeah, what do you do? You're not allowed to say that. Like, it's just a guy's name, like every Chicago business.

No, a minion. Garrett, the minion. What did he do? I can't be a minion. I get into trouble like all of them. It's just a goofball. Where's Berkall was backstage. I said I bought Gary's at the airport today. He put that a gun. Berkall pulled a gun, put on you.

You bought what at the airport? I hate catching up on my hot dog. This is going to be the greasiest tablecloth this venue has ever dealt with. The fuck. Uh, I don't know about, look, wags, I don't know what to say here. I think we're done with this segment.

Yeah, 100%. Let's just start doing that throughout the show. I sounded like I saw a ghost. No, these were- I was gonna try to make an Italian joke and then I pulled back. These were- It was like Sebastian Manescalco or something, I don't know. Some greasy Italian man.

Got it, yeah, yeah. What? We love Sebastian. Fuck off. I like him. He's good. He's good. All right. Hey, that was a snack or whack, popcorn or sloped scoring addition.

Again, thanks to Matt from like those popcorn, burcospopcorn.com. Popcorn or what? Popcorn or sloped scoring. Okay, I rank popcorn over sloped scoring. Yeah, I think these are all popcorn for me. Hey, just like a restaurant, I buy your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. We're gonna take some questions from y'all So I'm just gonna call a few people out

By the way, I was talking about our support staff Amelia Marino earlier up How about a big hand for Emma Erdbrick is absolutely essential What's up in the doughboys machine? Fuck Taco John's in the doughboys machine. Fuck Taco John's. Emma, this is true. Emma got food poisoning. She did.

Gaming food poisoning. So fuck Taco John's. She was up to 5 a.m. Do right. It was great though. 5 forks. I got Katie W. Anthony R. and Mary and P. If you want to make your way this way, wherever you are.

Is anyone on the balcony? I think someone's descending from the balcony. Oh my God. They're jumping. Or maybe they're just coming down to attack us. Our first questioner is wearing a shirt that says, devil egg. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Hi, what's your name? Katie. Hi, Katie. Hi. OK, Katie. Hi. Okay, Chicago is famous for the bean sculpture. If you could have a food. The bean sculpture. Oh, yeah, there it goes.

Do you know what? Yeah, that's helpful. Thank you. If you could have a food shaped sculpture in any city, what would it be? And what city? Wow, what a question. I love this. I have a question about the bean. Can we talk about the bean for just a moment? What is the be? Is it an edible bean?

Yeah, it's edible. You're fucking idiot. I know you might do that thing. I know you can't. Take a bite of the fucking bean. Is it supposed to be an edible bean? What is it supposed to be it's called cloudgate? It's an abstract right It's not an actual bean. It's abstract art. Yeah, it's just like here's a shape Here's something like think about this and you people see it as a bean So they nicknamed it the bean was not called like the Chicago bean bean. No it's called cloud gate. It's called cloud nine. Cloud gate. Yeah but we call it the bean. Cause it's shaped like a bean. Cloud gate. Cloud gate. that's that cult that all the people weren't wearing Nike's in the Oh no, oh, cloud gate. I'm showing her phone to match to explain something. It's not a bean

They call it the bean, but it's not the beans. I'm kind of disappointed. Yeah, no shit. I like that it was a bean Do you have a food that you would like to see a sculpture of in any city in the America? It's not a it's not a food But the question now doesn't make any fucking sense The shape the shape is a bean just the shape the shape of a food That's all I want. I've never been more disappointed on tour my life The beans not a bean This sucks It's a great question. Thank you pointing on tour of my life. The beans, not a bean. The socks. It's a great question.

Thank you. I really have a lot of fondness for the giant rice crispy square from the Simpsons. And I think also rice crispy treats are just such a fun, like sort of, you know, unique food stuff. Then I think if you put one of those in my hometown of Lakewood, California, I wouldn't complain. Make that a local landmark.

Are you saying, is this a metallic rice tree? It's a metallic rice crispy street. Okay. And it's called like God's Promise. Ha, ha, ha. But everyone knows it's a rice crispy street. That's it. We did it.

Okay. He doesn't keep any of those that fucker. I'd have a big ol' bottle of Heinz catch up right here, Chicago, Illinois. And a crock pot of piping hot cheese and Detroit Michigan. I'd have an actual fucking bean in Boston, a real bean, and you can take bites of it too. And people will come from all around to bite the bean. Come bite the bean they'd say and you can bite it.

Disgusting. Disgusting. It will be called. A really assisted suicide is what that would be called. The cavacorkian being. I scared my scared the person that I called. I don't know. Jamie is like...

You all of you will bite the bean and you'll like it. Ha ha ha. Jamie, I don't want to just assume that you would have a sculpture of a hot dog, but I kind of feel like that's maybe where your head's at. Well, no, no. I'm going to have a sculpture. It's going to be much like the feel like that's maybe where your head's at. Well, no, no, I'm gonna have a sculpture. It's gonna be much like the bean, and that it's a mirror where you look into yourself.

But it's gonna be my mom's, well, my mom thought was taco salad, which is Doritos and meat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That sounds fantastic. That is good. Your mom's a genius. Wait, hold on, why are we wearing a devil-ed egg shirt?

Great question. It's a shirt. And I like that. It's a shirt. It's a shirt. Great answer. And I like devil-ed egg shirt. Can't argue with that.

Thank you for the question. Hi, what's your name? What's your question? Hello. Hi. I'm Marianne. I'm Marianne. First things first, Mitch, you're my

hall pass. So like... So if things don't work out with your mom, I now awkwardly looking at your husband. He's giving two big thumbs up like the do boys guess photo. Wait a minute. Say what you said again. I'm saying if things don't work out with your mom, let me know. Nothing is going ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Okay, my question is, yes. We have a Chicago handshake. It's an old style and a shadow mallort.

If you had to make your own Chicago handshake or like, you know, spoon nation handshake, what would it be? A beer and shot combo. Can you explain it to me again with a Chicago handshake is? Yeah, so you order a Chicago handshake and it's like cheap and you get a old style and a shot of Mollord. What's an old style? It's a beer. It's a shitty beer. So what's your shitty beer and shot combo? Oh, okay, so a shitty beer and a shot. That's our combo. Are is there Mollord here? We should do a shot of Mollord here. They don't have it. They don't have any Mollord.

Bring up four of them if you got them. I have it. I have it. Bring up four of them if you got them. That's a great question. So what's our handshake? I can't even, I'm stirring over my words. You shouldn't have said that up top. I'm fucked up.

I know what Nick's wouldn't be. It wouldn't be Bud Light. He's boycotting that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I smell like truffle. You got to find a better hall pass. I'm going to go chorus light and crown royal. Oh, that's fine because I don't drink it if the mountains aren't blue. When I think of like a shitty beer, I think of what I used to get all the time when I was working the video games industry and I finished my Activision and I'd go to 7-11 and I'd get a 40 ounce of Mickey's fine malt liquor.

And I finally broke that habit when the 7-11 clerks started calling me Mickey Man. I realized I can't keep this up. And he'd be like, hey Mickey Man, there you go. Hey, be careful buddy Mickey's 40 Asian tail on the count of three. All right So I would go that direction, but I also really I'm tez and even call it a shitty beer because I really like a Modelo Espiciel. So that's a fun one But and I also like a fernette and that doesn't make any sense together, but I think I'm gonna do it.

I think, you know what, that's what I'm gonna sue. I'm gonna say Fernet and Amikis. Mine is gonna be Narragansett and Fernet, so I see you. I love that. Carl's giving out Berkos' puff corn, and I'm fucking pissed off. Jamie, do you drink? I don't remember. Yeah, I do. I think I would go for...

I'm big from the 7-Eleven after a shift. I'll go for a Mike's Harder. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, that'll really fuck you. That could almost kill you. Yeah. And it tastes like medicine. So I would take two shots of Mike's Harder and a light kiss on the mouth. That's a dream. Yeah.

I thought you were her husband. You and the pro rose staring at you with scared shitless. How come you didn't tell me you weren't? You let me be scared, I was fucking terrified. What's he supposed to do? He's supposed to assume figure out what's going on in your head. I looked at him and I was like, I'm sorry and he was like, hmmm. Say it's not me!

Do you have a shot beer combo, Mitchell? Bud Light. There you go. Don't you lie to these people. And an ice cold Dr. McGillicuddies. I don't know if people know Dr. McGill. They do. That's fine.

It's a booze that also gets your breath slightly minty. Rumpelments. It is. What the fuck? Rumpelments is when you throw up from drinking so much. You're like, man, I smell like throw up. Let me drink a Rubble, Mr. Fresh, and my breath. The cock on really gets what you're talking about.

Is that true? Yeah. All right. All right, we got one more question. Hi, what's your name? What's your question? I'm Anthony. Oh, shit.

And yes, I'm Italian, Mitch. What the hell? Your voice isn't working on the mic. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be What's your dream and what's your nightmare? Now we're talking. That's a good question. It's a great question. Am I your hall pass as well?

I feel like my answer is the same for each sizzle and fajita platter because I feel like my answer is the same for each sizzling fajita platter. Because that would be fun for a time, but it would eventually drive you to madness. And you just fold in on yourself, like you're in a Junji-Edo manga. So yeah, I think if you were exposed to anything, no matter how beautiful it smelled, no matter how much it aroused the sensations from your nostrils, I still think you too much of it would be not a good thing. I think you drive you mad. That's a great point.

I want to smell like caramel. Oh, that's fun. And I smell like it. I want to smell like caramel and I don't want to smell like the barbecue sauce from Durey Donazes to vinegar. It's a smell like vinegar. Vinegar smells like. You remember you like in football

when after like you take the pads off and you're a bad smell like vinegar. Oh, I've never put those together. That's awful. You never took your bads off. I wore them home. Ultimate gamer. I gotta get that lady's Instagram handle. I feel like I'm gonna get another text about you taking a Viagra and jacking off into a toilet. A big smile on my face.

The tour was pretty good. Jacked off into the shower a couple times. I mean fried chicken. We were smelling it earlier today. Yeah, the fryer from outside, I was like, what is that intoxicating aroma? And it was, I think the fryer from do right. As a big man, I never want to smell like any food.

No, the idea is you smell it all the time. It's not what you smell like. Okay, got it. That ain't what you asked though. Wait. Yeah, what you smell like. What you smell like? Oh, the people that you smell like.

Yeah, coming out of your pores, not like a coloma. I thought you were saying this is like an omnipresent aroma that you just smell everywhere you go, but you're saying this is what you smell like. So, okay, I have to think more. Yeah, I have to think more. It's more nightmares than what you thought. Yeah, you locked in fajitas, it's done.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I think that my answer would be pie. I'd wanna smell like a nice pie. Oh, that's fun. Would you want to be able to float to you from the smoke? But again, I love this character work we're seeing. As a big man, you don't want to smell like food. Sure.

But I'm fine with it if it smells like something like, like honestly, if I walked in a place and everybody was like, man, I do, it smells like chocolate. It's why I wear cocoa butter lotion honestly, so people can say that. You don't even like chocolate. I know, but I would love to smell like it. I would like if someone smelled like fried chicken

from a distance, but not like close-up fried chicken. It's a great point. But the idea of fried chicken. I stay with pie. I think it's pie. What can I say in Apple? Shepherds pie? An apple pie? Are you saying smelling like an apple? I want to smell like an apple.

That's something with a strong scent. Yeah, I know, that's a point. Which apple? Red delicious. Granny Smith. Mm. It's a mild sour. It's a baking apple. Sour smell.

I want like a Fuji or something. All right, a Fuji apple. There you go. Then you wouldn't smell that bad. Yeah, that's what the real answer is, like fresh mint or something. Something that's just a generally pleasant aroma, but it's not gonna offend anybody But that also does feel like a cop out all right fine fried clams

All right, are you happy? Fried clam platter with tartar sauce I'll jack off into the shower for the rest of my fucking life Yeah Jack off into the shower for the rest of my fucking life That won't make just revoke their own hall pass You're right honey. It was you the whole time Jamie's smells of preference. Well, I was gonna say junior mince, but now I'm a fucking coward No No no no no I think junior mints is great. Junior mints is great. It's a good idea. Yeah. I think to smell like junior mints all the time. And then the bad idea would be like the last half hour of any wedding catering.

What was your name again? Anthony. Anthony, because you clearly have thought about this. What are your answers? I'd like to smell like fresh baked bread. Fucking great. And I think I would hate to smell like old seafood. Yeah, that'd be nasty. That's nasty as hell.

I think the real one you don't want to smell like is a Do-Boys audience. Anthony, thank you so much for the question. Hey, that's it for this episode. Carl Tart. Jamie Loftus. We love you Chicago. Our production team, Emma Namelia, thanks to the Riviera Theater. Until next time, for the Spoon Man, my name'm a Guaguerre happy. Thank you. You guys love you love you

See you in 2025 And you know they can never be right. The fat boys are back. Do you like the good stuff for? Want to dress like the Doe Boys? Of course you don't, but you will want to wear our all-new Doe Boys merch. Check out our completely revamped merch line and partnership with Kinship Goods. We've got high quality shirts, hats, aprons, totes, and much more to come. Wow! Only at doeboys.kinshipgoods.com. That's k-i-n-s-h-i-p-goods.com.

That was a Hatgun Podcast.