Doughboys - Dogdoughbarkfest: Nathan's Famous with Jon Gabrus, Mike Hanford & Griffin Newman (Live)

Episode Date: October 28, 2021

Jon Gabrus (High and Mighty), Mike Hanford (The Sloppy Boys) and Griffin Newman (Blank Check) join the 'boys for the live finale of Dogdoughbarkfest in New York City and review Nathan's Famous. Recorded live at the Gramercy Theater in New York City. Sources for this week's intro: https://www.mashed.com/317485/heres-why-kobayashi-was-once-arrested-at-a-hot-dog-eating-contest/ https://www.espn.com/new-york/news/story?id=5355723 https://www.tmz.com/2019/07/14/kobayashi-joey-chestnut-hot-dog-eating-cheating/ https://sacramento.cbslocal.com/2019/07/02/joey-chestnut-the-good-the-bad-the-hungry-interview/ https://nathansfranks.smithfieldfoods.com/en-us/articles/hot-dog-eating-contest/hdec-fun-facts/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathan%27s_Hot_Dog_Eating_Contest#By_year_(color-coded_by_belt_color) Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Wags, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on

all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow. 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. Everyone in the crowd kept chanting, let him eat. Let him eat. So I jumped onto the stage to prove that I am still the champ. But I was arrested. These are the words of Takero Kobayashi, remarking on his 2010 trespassing arrest at the Coney Island Hot Dog Contest

he once dominated. Kobayashi, a.k.a. the tsunami, a.k.a. the prince, a.k.a. the godfather of competitive eating, became an instant celebrity at the event on July 4th, 2001, when he shattered the world record by consuming 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes, twice as many as the previous year's champion. Kobayashi's jaw-dropping feet, no doubt amplified by his wiry frame and his Fosbury flop-level innovation of separating the dogs and buns before consumption, made him competitive eating's first breakout star and helped turn the burgeoning sport into just a sport. He went on to win the competition's mustard belt six straight times, thrice, breaking the world record, ultimately raising the bar to 53 and three-quarter HDB. That's competitive

eating lingo for hot dog with bun. Few would suspect in 2005 that the third place finisher who consumed a comparatively modest 32 HDB would be the one to soon claim Kobayashi's throne, American Joey Chestnut, a.k.a. Jaws. Chestnut returned to the contest in 2006 and made a spirited turn, but the tsunami's tide could not be held back and he finished second, but in his third attempt in 2007, ironically aided by a Kobayashi jaw injury, the man named Jaws, finally won it all, 66 HDB to 63, both of which broke the world record. Chestnut would win the rematches in 2008 and 2009, and the bitter rivalry would find its bitter end in a contract dispute that led to Kobayashi's aforementioned arrest. Kobayashi has not

returned to the contest since. Chestnut suspects his defeated foe is dodging a rematch while Kobayashi has floated unsubstantiated allegations Jaws is cheating at eating. As with the contest itself, it traces its origins to 1966. To 1916, the same year a hot dog stand was opened by a Polish immigrant who gave it his first name, but the competition in its current form wasn't officially convened until July 4th, 1972. The one-time neighborhood competition is now the super bowl of eating conducted amidst throngs of cheering fans and broadcasts live on ESPN, an appropriately American Independence Day tradition, people eating processed food until they throw up. And though Kobayashi may have been the man who put the contest on

the map, Chestnut has asserted his dominance as its all-time go. His Coney Island contest record stands at 74 HDB. And the mustard belt has found its way around his surprisingly slender waistline a record 14 times. But Jaws considers his greatest accomplishment his first win over the tsunami back in 2007. Quote, it's the only time in my life where I did something where the majority of people thought was impossible. This week on Doughboys, we conclude Dog Dog Fest 2021. A month-long grillabration of hot dogs and pet dogs with Nathan's famous. Wow. Welcome to Doughboys Live. How you doing New York City?

We'll give you some context for why I almost just knocked over this table in a second. But first let me bring out my co-host. Hi. Folks, this week's roast is courtesy of Mixmaster Moody. Let me introduce my co-host, Edward Glyzzie Hans, Mr. Slice Mike Mitchell. What's up, New Donk City? You like that one? Is it a Mario reference? I try to see... You're a New Donk.

I try to see as far away from you as possible. Yeah, I'm with you. You could have gotten New Pork City, also a video game reference, and also Hot Dog adjacent. Oh, all right. Well, shut the fuck up for a moment. Mitch, so... We're here at Head Gum Live, and don't we love all the Head Gums podcast folks? Yeah. Hey, who out there is ready to create the Doughboys variant?

Yeah. Goodbye, COVID-19. Hello, Dovid 21. Should we tell them? Yeah. We planned those jokes. We wrote it! And it didn't do that well. So, we're here at Head Gum Live, and a lovely festival, a lot of great podcasts over this

two-day stretch. We, before this show, did the power hour for High and Mighty. And I'll give some context for those of you in the audience who don't know what that is, and those of you who listen to this podcast later. That entails Mitch and I and the other people who are doing the podcast with us, one of whom is going to be in this very show, to consume 60 shots of beer over the course of 60 minutes, which doesn't sound like a lot, but I assure you it's a lot. Yeah.

So, we're... And I'm also still pretty confident that we're more sober than the crowd. But in addition to that, on top of that, Mitch, you had what I would characterize as several whippets. I said whip it, you got it. Yeah, no, we got it, we got it. Are you hanging in there? You doing all right?

No, I'm doing bad. My legs feel like jello, I'm fucked up. Huge mistake. We're going to be fine. Yeah, we got funny people here, that helps. Mitch, we sure do. Not in the audience. Hey, yeah, I'm pretty funny.

I'm at my work, everyone says I'm the funny guy. I'm always saying hot salad, and they're like, yeah, sure. What the fuck are you talking about? Why are you dressed like an insidious villain? So, the aforementioned power hour, I had a different wardrobe, and I was like, I think to get myself in the right mindset, and also to have the audience who stays for both shows. Anyone here for the first show?

Oh, wow. Anyone here for the first show and participated in the power hour? Oh, no. Okay, you guys are not allowed to ask questions at the Q&A. So, but I was like, I think I got to put myself in a different mindset, and so I did a little wardrobe change. Let me tell you though, Mitch, we were texting about this. Putting on your suit for the first time after 18 months of quarantine.

That's not a fun try-on. That's not fun. When I was standing up, that button was hanging on for dear life. It was like Captain America holding on to a fucking helicopter. Yeah, the suit looks sad when you brought it into the bathroom. I felt bad for it. Why not stay in the Kirkland? It looked comfortable.

You were feeling comfortable. I was comfortable, but I'm trying to just put myself... I had a Gatorade, I had several waters. I got three waters here. Wow. I drink three waters. Wow. I'm just trying to hydrate and not have more alcohol

and maintain for this fucking show we're doing, which is second after the fucking power hour. We're going to be okay. We're going to be fine. We'll be okay. We're going to be fine. How the hell to Spoon Nation? I'm supposed to bark.

I'm not doing it. We're over with it. This month is over. It's over now. It's over. By the way, I just said that was great, but I sent it into my water bottle instead of my microphone. Let's play a little drop.

Marika, play a drop for us, would you please? I'm on the cusp of vomiting. I'm on the cusp of vomiting. I'm on the cusp of vomiting. Can I say that? Can I say that? I'm on the cusp of vomiting. I'm on the cusp of vomiting.

I'm on the cusp of vomiting. Can I say that? Can I say that? I'm on the cusp of vomiting. I'm on the cusp of vomiting. I'm on the cusp of vomiting. Can I say that? Can I say that?

Wow. Is that true right now? I'm hanging in there. All right. How about yourself? I can't speak that well. Do you know right before I left? I got to say this.

We were in the car. There's like the second to last night before I left. In that song, if you want my body. You know the song? My mom sang that part of the song to me. She looked at me and she went, if you want my body and you think I'm sexy. And I was like, I got to go back to LA.

This is too much. So I'm heading back, Wigs, Monday. Wow. Damn, she looked good. Anyways, um, Christ. Dude, you know. I'm in that house for two months. We're not going to hook up, dude.

Michael, let's finally make subtext text. Hey, dope boys, my buddy is super into the show, goes to all your live events and shit. Made this original drop, so maybe he will hear it and be embarrassed. Keep destroying your bodies for random people on the internet. P.S. Nick is a fake news heat seeker. I want to see him put it to the test

and do the Buffalo Wild Wing Super Hot Wing Challenge. Love Sunny. So he's basically questioning my credentials when I say I'm something of a heat seeker. That's true. He's saying that to borrow a phrase that I can't handle the heat, that I should stay out of the kitchen.

Yes. I guess. First off, it doesn't all have to be a fucking dick measuring contest. I would lose against you. I don't know. We need a second tape measure for you. Eat what you want.

If you, whatever, who fucking cares? Yeah. But yeah, I could dip 100% handle this spicy sauce. No problem. Sunny said it, not me. I don't know. Introduce our guests for God's sakes. They're funny and sober.

A couple of them are sober. Yeah. They're here at least. Yeah. One is not sober. Yes. And he, you know, from High and Mighty in Action Boys. Give it up for the great John Gabriel.

Come here. We didn't discuss seating arrangements in advance. And Mitch, you were, Gabriel was going to come sit next to me and Mitch was like, no, come sit next to me. I didn't want to put someone in the position to be sitting in between me and Mitch for an entire show. It's like, it's eight degrees warmer in this part already.

Yeah. Had a way out the stage from Wiger's fat ass over there. Our next guest, you know, from the birthday boys and the sloppy boys, it's Mike Hanford. What are you doing? Wow, he's in the audience. Oh boy. He's climbing up onto the stage.

Wow. He's running on like Brock Lesnar. Seems to be pain. Come here. Mike Hanford's in the building. Hanford now crawling underneath the table, emerging on the other side to situate himself between Mitch and Gabriel.

Hello, New York. Wow. Our third guest. Can I say what you said last night? Yeah. I saw Wiger, I was, I was on the way home from, I had two slices of pizza. Yes.

And I was walking back to the, and then you were going to get wine. You wanted to have a few glasses of wine. And you came up to me in the first words you said to me, this city fucking sucks. And guess what, New York? I love you. This, the nickname, one of the nicknames of the city

is the greatest city in the world. Yeah. What's, what's the opposite of pandering? Cause that's what Mitch is doing. Can you easily get a pop for being like, oh, the subway. There we go. No, they just support subway, the brand.

This is, this is a big free Jared contingent. There's a group of people outside holding up giant khakis in protest. Release his hard drives. Our third guest tonight, you know, from blank check in the George Lucas talk show, the king of crotch, Griffin Newman. Wow.

Wow, crotch. Wow. He walked out with a bottle of crotch, folks. King of crotch. King of crotch. I also want to say I showed up wearing my Kirkland signature sweatshirt and Weigar was wearing the same thing.

This is true. Yep. And he had to change. He had to change. Finally, we have jock's table and nerd's table set up. Come on, man. Thanks. Thanks, sir.

It's great to be a jock. Two jocks at a water border. My Hanford is an athlete too, just because he doesn't bring up college sports on every episode of his podcast. I try. I rode crew at Ithaca. I used to be able to move.

I missed you guys, all of you. This is really fucking exciting. Yeah. What better way to bring it back with an all-white male straight, all-straight white male pale caps? I think you could just call it a podcast, and people know it's going to be five white guys

shouting bullshit for the entire time. Like, I know there have been worse shows that have happened at this venue. Well, there was one at seven that was pretty shit. No, it does just feel absurd when you're like, and now the Gramercy Theater is used to let five guys sit in lounge wear and talk about hot dogs

motionless behind a table for two hours. Oh, spoil-y. Wow. Wow. Hey, the new Dinner for Five right here? Wow. Okay. But please, it's got to be at least nine servings.

Dinner for five. We need eight chairs and two waders, seriously. Between us, we have every stage of Favreau. Weigar, you're so money, my man. I know which one I am. Weigar's J-O-N Favreau from Crooked Media. Yes. That Supreme Court seat was stolen, my friends.

Anyway, let's talk hot dogs. Because this is a big topic. This is the topic of the month. Hot dogs and pet dogs. What's the month? Dog Bark Fest 2021, a month-long celebration of hot dogs and pet dogs. You don't like it.

You people don't like that. Dogtober, right? Dog-Dobark Fest. Right. Dogtober. I learned about this theme out on the sidewalk. Got it. Nobody told me what was going on.

The people in the line were, would you believe there was a group of white men in the line over-explaining do-boys to people? Honey, there's the do-boys. Can you go up to them and ask them to take a picture up with me? Can I ask specifically, is there anyone here who has brought someone to this show as a second date? That's what I'm curious about. Any second-daters out there? Any second-daters. Okay, pretty good.

Pretty good. I think what we've learned is that our fans don't date. Is anyone on a date? Someone's on a date. Has anyone had sex in this room? In this room? Once. Is anyone eating a date?

The crowd goes wild. Is anyone here on a casual encounter? An NSA meetup. Or whatever they're called. Sounds right. Handman, let's start with you. Me? Do you like yourself a hot dog, and what do you like on one of them bad boys?

I like a hot dog. The culinary world's Johnson, as they say. Yes, yes. They do. You don't have to remind us. They do. You're from garbage play country for God's sake. An edible cock.

Yeah, I like a hot dog, okay? I put ketchup mustard on it. And sauerkraut should the situation present itself. Wow. Alright. Yeah. I like it. I came from a place, I came from Rochester, New York.

We had White Hots. Anyone know White Hots? White Hots. Yeah, it's a white hot dog. Is it really? Yep. And Syracuse, they call them conies. Is that true?

Because that's the first time I had a White Hots. I thought it was dog shit on a bus. Was it Swigels? Swigels. Swigels is the company. Swigels brand. Far and land of Syracuse from Rochester. Never heard of it.

Are you snacking on some sort of weed gummies? Yeah. Jerry's picks. Garcia handpicked. Okay. Just snacking. I feel like a 30-pad since I've seen you. I feel like now that the show's started,

this can't potentially ruin the show for me. Okay. Handman, you were saying it's the culinary world's Johnson, I believe. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I didn't mean to step on that. I don't know what else you want to know about me and the hot dogs. Tell me, what is a white hot? Is it spicy?

No, I think I heard some cheers from Rochester. A pork? Is it pork? Yeah. Well, I mean, as pork as it can be, I guess. And it's good. It's got a nice snap to it, but I prefer a red hot. Oh, nice.

I don't like a snap in the hot dog. You don't. What? Oh, don't give me a snap. I want a boiled, mushy hot dog. Well, Mitch, you got to start biting them to know that. Throat Lord Mitchell takes five glizzies to the dome. Must be a porno premium member to watch.

That's how they go down. Like the pneumatic tubes and banks in the 70s. Whoa, Mitch. Like a reverse magician trick instead of pulling out ribbons. You're just pulling sausage into your mouth. I was on display at the magic castle for a while. In a glass case, like a King Kong. Hey, you think they could...

I meant to ask you guys this backstage. You think they could fit King Kong in here? Wait, how tall was King Kong in the original? I'm going to say they could fit King Kong in here with plenty of room. Hell yeah. I think the ceiling is high enough for a... Not the modern Kong. The modern Kong is far too big.

I think the original Kong is like 45, 50 feet, something like that. 45 feet. So what are we dealing with? Original Kong. A original Kong, six foot seven. Not that big. Should me and Mitch just stand next to each other under a black blanket so you can get an idea for what it might be like to have Kong here?

You want Mitch to throw a dinosaur bone through a pterodactyl's neck or some shit? You want us to kill Eugene Cordero? No spoilers. I haven't seen it yet. I started it before the pandemic. I have not finished it. He started God's... He started King...

I'm not... I just wasn't in the mood. I've been watching one minute a day. Yeah. I should be recording it for movies. Well, that'd be... Yeah, why don't you... I'll do that as my next podcast.

One minute of Kong a day. From any of the movies. You never know which minute you're going to be talking about. Okay. King Kong's black and white in this one. Oh, guess what? He's still pissed. He was misunderstood.

That was the whole point of the movie. Yeah, I guess. I guess you're right. Yeah. I wish those movies had more big bananas in them. That would be fine. But that is my problem with every movie I see. Yeah.

Griffin, what do you do? What do you like to do with a hot dog? You defrost it in your ass and you eat it in your mouth. I mean, off the top of my head, number one on the list, I would say eat it. Okay. That's probably my favorite thing to do with a hot dog. I grew up in Manhattan, New York City.

Wow. Home of Kong. My father, we grew up... You do have extreme... I rode the subway in high school energy, I should say. You pulled that. Man, I've had all these locked and loaded. It feels so good to be back with what I call my friends.

I grew up very close to a Grey's Papaya location. Wow. Oh, yeah, sure. My father used to eat Grey's Papaya for breakfast every morning. Wow. He's now a dead man, I assume. He is somehow beating all of the odds. The doctors are so proud of him.

No, he truly... There was... I think they still do, but the price has changed, called the Recession Special. That was, you'd get two dogs and a fruit drink. Papaya, banana, daiquiri, what have you for... I think it used to be two dollars, and it's gone up and up and up and up. He used to do the Recession Special every single morning. He'd wake up, drink a bunch of coffee, take an hour-long shit,

drop my brother and I off at school, and then his way to decompress after that was to get a Recession Special. Wow. What the fuck was driving you and your brother to school life? Dad. It drove your dad to hot dogs every morning? Dad. Bad.

You're a condom, people. His doctor was like, you have two hot dogs and a processed fruit drink every single morning? You should change that. So then he called it the Modified Atkins, which was, he'd get the two hot dogs and he asked them to put them in one bun, and he'd still drink the thing. But the point is, this was like my father's daily routine,

and my mother didn't work, my father worked way too much. Point of contention. And on the weekends, my mom would be like, I'm not getting out of bed, you fucking take care of the boys. And he'd be like, I don't know, Grace Papaya. So the cornerstone of my weekend was going to Grace Papaya with my father, Saturday and Sunday, knowing that's also what he had eaten all week. But I didn't get to be part of that.

So I truly was kind of raised on hot dogs in a lot of ways. And if we weren't going to Grace Papaya, by the way, the activity was, let's go to Washington Square Park and watch street performers, in which case our lunch is going to be hot water cart dogs. So either way, I had hot dogs almost every weekend of my life for 10 plus years. Wow, wow.

So I feel like maybe... And for the listeners, you're in the best shape on stage. Yeah, you look great. Gamer's not going to seriously text about the modified Ackens diet out of us. I'd be like, we're having two dogs on three buns. I will say, my father looks like a co-host of Doe Boys. I got my mother's metabolism. Wow.

It's pure luck. That's fire, Jesus Christ. And I don't think they were at Weiger. Ouch. It was like, Jesus Christ, I look like Weiger. I better get it together. Not when me and Mitch are also sitting there, is what I'm saying. Are you auditioning for the sequel to many scenes

at Newark after this with that suit? Yeah, is there a mobster who gets the shit beaten out of him and then pisses himself? I could pull that off. Is there a coward? Gamer's, what's your hot dog protocol? What do you like to eat? I had my first one last night for this show.

I'm poor. I ate off the barbecue like six nights a week. You know what I mean? I eat hot dogs a lot in my life. But for me specifically, the restaurant we're talking about tonight, Nathan's holds a super dear place in my heart, but has nothing to do with hot dogs. I was going to save this for you.

Why did you play this or whatever the fuck video game? How did this get played? It's coming back to me. Jerry, RIP. I can't wait to try John Mayer's gummies. They should be just as good. Nathan's, for the one on Long Island, the couple that were on Long Island also had arcades attached to them.

The Nathan's and Long Beach, my parents both worked like shift hours, so they were gone every weekend, most weekends. So my grandfather would watch us and he was too old to do almost anything, except give us a roll of quarters, a little tray of hot dog nuggets

and three hours of just greasing up joysticks around the Long Beach, Nathan's, blowing money on Dragon's Lair and the Galaxy, all the stupid expensive ones. When pop-up gives you the money, you have like, you're flossing. And he, and this was, this is some poor people's shit,

but my grandpa was legendary because he would let you get one more re-up from him. No one else in my family. Like if I was like, my dad would be like, I already gave you two dollars. He'd be like, can I have one more? He's like, I already gave you. Wow.

Pop-up was like, okay, tell no one. He has another eight quarters. Go fucking play Street Fighter against a 21-year-old kid. And then I was eventually that 21-year-old kid as well. Wow. Nathan's means a lot to me.

Hot dog nuggets for life. Wow. What are you getting exactly with a hot dog nugget? You're getting a cocktail wiener, more or less, but it's got a little, it's a little closer to pretzel than full-on puff pastry, you know? It's like a,

I think it's approximating a bun and it doesn't really do it. And they're not even that good, neither are the hot dogs really, you'll hear, but the hot dog nuggets just felt like so novelty that you were like. And the red plastic sport. Yes.

It's a lot about. The little Biden, I think it's called. Yeah. That's how my fam, Joe Biden. It's the form factor, it's the fun, it's the novelty of the activity. It feels invented by a child, right? It's like pigs in a blanket that you're allowed to have for lunch.

Right. Rules. Whoa. It is the, so we've got three, all three of our guests are from New York State, different parts. Again. New York.

Dint, dint, dint, dint, dint. What do you want me to do? Not that. Back. Back to New York. Back to the New York groove. Yeah. That's what I play whenever I land at LaGuardia,

so I don't blow my fucking brains out when I get to the airport. She came from Boston. So much searing for the idea of blowing your brains out, specifically me killing myself. Do. As New Yorkers, the debate I always, as an outsider, think of

is hot dogs versus pizza. I feel like I'm getting some hot dog leanings from the panel, but I'm curious if you have to choose. You are? You inferred that they like hot dogs more than pizza. Because you've only asked this one.

They're all talking about hot dogs. They didn't once mention their love of burritos, I noticed. I just mean from the established fondness for hot dogs. It seems like there's some, very like, I like these things, I like these bad boys,

but how do they stack up against the slices off? If I can go first, if I may. Please. I do think, once again, you ask us questions only about hot dogs. We express our fondness for hot dogs. Yes. I also think there is perhaps

a little less competition in the hot dog category. Do you know what I'm saying? There's a little more proprietary, Chicago's coming at us, but people will give you, that's a different form factor, the classic New York street dog,

whereas pizza everyone's throwing their hat into the ring and claiming that they deserve to, you know, to chart. Yeah, I would say I like pizza more, but hot dogs might be more New York. That's my exact. Interesting. Maybe, I don't know.

To me, I'm from Rhode Island, so it's bagels that I think is pizza. I also think, well bagels is the third, that's the trifecta. I think New York pizza is better than New York hot dogs, but I think New York hot dogs are more New York than New York pizza,

if that makes any sense. Interesting. People are agreeing with that. Hanford, what do you feel? No, no, no. Griffin and John, I think your points are very astute. He just woke up for the list of questions.

Yeah. Why did I sleep here? I am from the western part of the state, and I think that is a big chicken wings sign. So I'm, that's where I'm coming from. We're being very city-centric. We are. We're being very city-centric.

I'm used to it. We're thinking tri-state. We're thinking tri-state. You're from north of the other Mason-Dixon line that's in New York. Yeah. We're somehow the rednecks are north of us. The Mount Kisco line?

Yeah. Trust me, I'm from Long Island, the Bronx, I call upstate. Liger, you told, you promised me I wouldn't be bullied on this show, and if it does happen one more time, I'm walking.

Oh, boy. Do people get hot dogs? Are those carts popular? That wasn't what I was trying to figure out. Are those hot dog carts? Oh, fuck. Hot dog carts. I'm barely holding it together because of your show.

I'm so fucked up. Let's just take a second to say, between shows, you and I, we discussed, and it was like, hey, you know what, let's just try to sober up. You can, and I just drank waters. I had some pizza, and I had a Gatorade.

You, I would say, mostly had more Whippets. You know you painted yourself into a corner where people, strangers cheer for you doing Whippets. Talk about the end of King Kong. It's like, people's attention is what finally killed the beast. Can I also, may I also throw out that, for reasons we'll get into, we had to get my Nathan's delivered here to the theater.

And I was eating at backstage in between the power hour in this show, and the other two performers who were on the power hour looked at me, scarfing Nathan's, and went, you're going to eat that and then go on stage? And they had just done a power hour. You're disgusting, man. How are you going to have any control

out of the words coming out of your mouth? Anyway, Mitch, how are the Whippets? Well, I was trying to get the cream out of it like I told you before. Yeah, you've told me that a few times. Just get the cream out, then you can go to sleep. My hot dog nugget. Hot dog nugget.

Were there 18 U's in that? Wags, I had a Fenway Frank last week. Oh, interesting. We lost, shut up, we lost. We lost. They might be saying Spoon. Oh. I did the complete mom thing back there.

When you came out and they all said Spoon, I was like, are they booing him? Why are they booing him? No, Mike, they like him. Who can? I'll be booed before the end of it. I had a Fenway Frank. Now they're booing, that's clearly booing. That was a distinct B on that one.

I mean, he's saying Fenway over and over again in New York City. New York City? Salsa anyone? Stop eating those. I'm done, I will. You've cleaned out a tin of gummies. Wow.

Wags, we ate a lot of hot dogs this month was my point. That's right. We ate a lot of hot dogs and I'm done for a while. I don't need them anymore. Really? Yes. Well, you're going to have your Christmas hot dog, of course. You'll have your Thanksgiving. Christmas Eve, we've got a big hot dog.

My mom and sister, I all eat it at the same time. You eat it from different sides. Mitch, in delayed answer to your question, and I will circle back to this when it's relevant. I, before the show tonight, had a New York City cart hot dog for comparison. And I will say it took more of an effort

than I expected to find one. I think the popularity has dipped substantially. Wow, fascinating. I think street meat like shawarma, kebab had kind of surpassed. I walk past so many shawarma carts looking for a hot dog cart. I think that was the hardest thing to find.

That was the peak cart now in Schwarma, I believe. Absolutely. And I am here for it. Ask any hotel bed that I've eaten in a double... Hey, cleaning lady, that's mostly white sauce. You love eating in a hotel because you could use a fucking bath towel

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It's gonna be a lot of fun. Gonna maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Gonna maybe see a bird. Just that, just a one monkey, one bird. Knowing some Spanish might be helpful down there. Nice. And if you have an upcoming summer trip abroad,

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Do it. How do you all feel about movie hot dogs? You're sitting down in a movie, you're sitting down to watch a feature film, you're in the theater, you can have your choice of snacks, but you can get yourself a hot dog. I really embarrassed myself once. Not by going to see solo,

but I was happening to go see solo with some friends. We were seeing an 11 a.m. screening and I was so fucking high and I didn't want like popcorn or chocolate and we were at the arc light and I got like they have like the mango that mango habanero sausage.

And I got it on a roll with like onions and mustard and I was like perfect. And then like in the middle of the movie I'm sitting in between friends of the show Ben Rogers and Dom Turcus and I take out and they are just both like and Ben goes are you eating a fucking sausage?

Yeah, I don't like snacks. I like entrees. I've said this before, but I went and saw silence on a date. Right. And my stomach was rumbling. Not the right movie to take her to then. Should have took her to something loud. Trust me, that is very much the truth. I was like, oh, my stomach is rumbling.

I mean, it's very, it is a quiet movie. And well, as you know this, that I told her I had to go to the bathroom and I ate a hot dog at the concession stand. Thinking that would settle everything out. People think it's crazy that I smoke weed to take care of my anxiety. You're fucking secreting hot dogs.

They know you're excited. When you came back, she was like, you smell like a hot dog. But more so than you did earlier. Oh, son's wrong in the bathroom. I don't know. I saw it like a toilet flush and a hot dog shot out and it went in my mouth. Do you believe this, ma'am?

Just please stop talking. You go up to the eat two hot dogs and then bring two back for you and her. Hey, I thought I would grab us these random hot dogs. Did you want one? No, I'll eat yours. I ate your other one too. I'm a regular movie goer. I go to the theater several times a week.

Wow. I like snacks. I've been eating less snacks post-coronavirus than usual. Is that a Fauci thing? Why is it less snacks? I'm paranoid. I want to keep the thing on my face and not put things in my mouth.

Oh, right. Is that a Fauci thing? What did you mean? Look, that guy's saying a lot of bullshit. Look, we're pretty close to Long Island. Be careful what you start here. Fauci changes. Try like 12 off-duty firefighters

that are like, yo! Told ya. In 2018, Fauci said there wasn't a pandemic. In 2020, he said there was. This guy changes his mind all the time. He's a flip-flopper. Put him on a swift boat. I think

movie theater hot dog is the absolute bottom of my movie theater snack. I was astonished to hear you guys put AMC in the Golden Play Club. Perhaps I haven't tried one. Recently enough, I will say

my most recent AMC hot dog related memory was about 10 years ago now. I went to see Moonrise Kingdom. The AMC Lincoln Square. It's nice to see yourself represented on screen. Finally. Holy shit.

Wow. Gabriel has many times referred to me as the only adult child actor. It's like when you're watching a play in the 1940s and you're like, that child is an adult.

Interesting. Bird bone disease or something. Did they shave him three times? Not at all? Really? No. Nick, you saw Moonrise Theater at the Tiki Theater, right? The one where Fred Willard was arrested

for public masturbation, that's what you're saying. You're saying I went to Moonrise Kingdom. I said you went to Moonrise Kingdom. Fred Willard was caught jacking off. I had a special screening. So did you, yeah? No, Mitch. I did not watch Moonrise Kingdom at the Tiki Theater,

the Porno Theater. Was it like when the Alamo Draft House was advertised as a rowdy screening? You did jerk off to Moonrise Kingdom. Wherever you were. I know you are, but what am I? Pee-wee Herman. I tried to, but my voice is shattered.

The point of my anecdote, which is going to be all the more bleak now after all of this riffing, I went to see Moonrise Kingdom. I went by myself as I want to do because I'm a person who does not know how to interact with other human beings, and I sat in the front row as I'm... Well, now and now in the confines,

the proscenium, the golden arch. I go to see it, I sit by myself. Someone say golden arch, we should do McDonald's also tonight. Everyone stay here, we're going to go get some. I sit in the front row. I assume no one else is going to sit in the front row. I sit about five minutes into the trailers. Artie Lange sits next to me.

Wow. Well, it's nice to see myself represented in your stories. We're both the Leonardo DiCaprio memes. Artie Lange has popcorn, a soda, and two hot dogs. Wow. He cackles loudly throughout the entire film. He scarfs it all down,

halfway through the screening, and he leaves. I go, did he not like it? He comes back a third hot dog. Wow. And I thought in that moment, does anyone like movie theater hot dogs more than Artie Lange?

But last week, much to my surprise, I heard Nick Weiger and Mike Mitchell induct AMC into the Golden Play Club, and I don't know what to make of it anymore. We had a good experience. We had a good time.

Also, the bar is pretty low to get in the Golden Play Club. Most stuff just kind of gets in there by default. I mean, also, being the best hot dog people had in October is a fucking world's tallest little person competition. It's like, it's a weird brag.

It's like, I was the least awful poor meat food of the week, of the month. Do you think that someone at AMC is running into the corporate office to create news? We got the Doe Boys Bump. Dog Doe Bark Fest

has given us the honorific of Golden Play Club acceptance. I don't think that's happening. I feel like the only time the White Castle guy came to the live show at this theater the last time we did it, and we gave them

a bad time at the White Castle. You were here. That was a rough experience. I mean, if he's tried it, he agrees. It's okay to be proud of your business and not your taste. I appreciate your honesty. Let's talk about Nathan's a little bit,

because that's why we're here. Gabriel, you've shared your history, but Griffin, you talked about your father earlier, and my understanding is that he has some connection to the competitive eating world. We have talked about this in our group text.

My father became a very passionate fan of the IFOCE, which I don't know if they changed their name since, but in the early 2000s was the International Federation of Competitive Eating. He was not only going to the Fourth of July Coney Island,

Nathan's competition, but he was going to like qualifying matches? Wow. Off season? He was going to like the gym wrestling shows, versions of competitive eating.

His favorite guy was Don Moses Lairman, who was the King of Pickles. But never even got to the Nathan stage. He was the King of Pickles, and he used to wear a jacket that was the ten commandments on the two tablets

being struck by a pickle in between. And my dad was like Don and by the way, he just I'm also remembering his nickname was Moses. Don Moses Lairman. That's my denomination.

I actually believe that. My dad was just a guy who would go to all of these events until the guys knew him because he was the only regular. And irregular all at the same time. Yeah, he complimented Don Moses Lairman on the jacket. And then maybe

a year later at the next pickle competition, Don gifted him a jacket. And he was like, how did you remember? He was like, you're the only person who ever complimented me on the jacket. I didn't even want to do this. I just felt like I had to do this for you.

Does he still have it? Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But all those bad lands, of course, Badland Shugs, Badland Booker, Don Moses Lairman. All these people, he was friends with all of them. I never went because I think

my dad's investment this is embarrassing, but my dad's investment in competitive eating was the exact age where I was feeling the most like angsty, teenagery, and I didn't want to do anything with my family. But the rest of my family would go every year. And I knew these guys, like they would

come over for dinner. Wow, damn it. Not Kobayashi, not Kobayashi, but yeah. Can I ask, was your dad betting on competitive eating? My dad. I know two things about your dad right now. He was a degenerate sports gambler for many years.

And the terms of my mother marrying him were you have to stop betting and you have to stop seeing these 15 people ever again. My sports friends. When I was like 10, my parents showed me a video of a movie, like a VHS

camcorder movie my mother made for my dad's birthday with all of his best friends. And I was like, who are any of these? I'm the oldest child. I've never met one of these people and she was like, he was a gambler again. All of them were just ruled out. Pete Rose, Lawrence Taylor, you're like,

whoa. Your dad had a bunch of competitive eaters over the house for dinner. Your mom's like, what should I make? He's like a thousand hard boiled eggs. That's wild. Yeah, he was like, he was

really, really into it. And this was the reign of Kobayashi. This was pretty Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut was the guy where it's like, oh fuck, this is the most competitive American. Yeah. Was he like, Joey was like a baby at this point, like a very hungry baby? Yeah. Where's Crazy Legs Conti? Crazy Legs Conti

was his best friend. That's how he got into all of this. Wait, Crazy Legs is your dad's friend? He was like my dad's guy who he connected to and then he got pulled into this whole universe. Wow. I fucking love Crazy Legs. Crazy Legs Conti, who was the alcohol manager at the penthouse executive club. That was his day job.

And then at night, he ate food. Don't we all Crazy Legs? When these guys would come over, would like watching them eat, was it interesting to watch them eat? All these guys had different strategies. It's like your dad being Scotty Pippin and having people come over

to shoot around from work. Everyone had different strategies because there was this woman at the time I don't know if she competes anymore, but there was this woman at the time named Sonia Thomas, who I was always the most fascinated by. I think she was called the Black Widow. Yeah, the oyster eater. Right. And her whole thing was that she was

like an 18 wheel truck driver and she would just drive like for 20 hours a day and then once a day, she would stop at like a rest stop diner and order everything and eat the most insane meal anyone had ever seen

and then just like wipe the corners of her mouth and leave. And someone like spotted her like a recruiter was like like fucking plenty used to would in trouble with the curve was like, I haven't seen someone eat like that. Let me guess the guy looked exactly like

Margaret does now. Absolutely. You got talent, babe. You got the goods. But like she was a person where she was watching you from the gas pumps. I was pumping something else. She was someone who wouldn't eat much

other than in competition. And other people were eating all the time to make sure their stomach was constantly expanding. I mean, it was like a balance of things and you talk to these guys and they'd be like, I'm working on butter right now next week's butter and you're like butter and you're like, yeah, butter is not a big one. 10 people show up in the audience

but I want to win butter because that way I'll like, if I can crack the top 20. It's really fun. That was the thing. We know Crazy Legs and then there'll be someone else and it's like this guy's name is Ron Timson and he has second place in 40 events and it's like

wait, this guy needs more credit. He has eaten 1,000 oyster. You know, it's like, yeah, but not tubs of mayonnaise is a category. I think Crazy Legs had oysters also, by the way, no one else here knows Crazy Legs other than you and I. We're inclined to like him.

No one at the Doe Boys Live show knows anything about competitive eaters. But it would be this thing where like only the 20 top competitors off season get to do Nathan. So you have to win some of these sort of side specific exhibition matches and some

of them were like seasonal based on holidays. Some of them were based on they have a collaboration with this restaurant who wants them to eat their food like, oh, Thanksgiving it's the Turducan competition. But this one is like this place specializes in tamales. How many tamales can you eat

whatever it is. So like, if you're not an A-lister, you have to be making a mark the rest of the year in order to get to the Nathan stage. Which is for them like the Coliseum. I mean, you guys took the trip. It's like the Gramercy for Doe Boys.

It's fucking pinnacle, bro. I went to the Nathan's competition this past 4th of July. Did you? It was great. Yeah, it was very fun. It was one of the cyclones play whatever stage it is. What does it smell like there? Like a big culinary

Johnson. I thought I would think of something funny. That was one of my favorite t-shirts. Mom, can you give me another big culinary Johnson t-shirt? So many people had hot dog costumes on. That's fun. Like the one Betsy wears at like every

birthday party even though her birthday is not even wearing it. It was great. I saw Joey Chestnut beat the record. 76 hot dogs. Wow. Yeah, let's cheer for him. I'm working on the street. I met the Michelle Lasko, the female champ. She was walking around with a big trophy. I was like,

did you just win that? She's like, can I get a picture? She said, no. I said, you're like... Wow. I'm working on butter. I like that as like a goodbye message. I'm working on butter. Well, if you told us you were working on butter, we would know to say goodbye.

Our final goodbye. That's my end of Goodwill Hunting. Wags is going to read a letter that says I'll see you around. I'm working on butter. Son of a bitch stole my line. You get two gunshots in the distance. Yours have passed. I don't know if he still can, but Crazy Legs Conti used to be able to

in real time, not during a match, but in practice, take like 10 sticks of butter from fridge to the dome. Wow. Incredible. How many hot dogs do you think you guys could eat in 10 minutes? Which is like the...

Hanford, great question. Bring them out, Marika. I don't know what I mean. Like, that amount of butter is insane. With buns, I think I could do 14. 14 hot dogs. Jesus. I think like... I'm being... I think I could do 14. And I feel like in my head,

I was like, you could definitely do 16. And I was like, just say 14. You don't want to seem like that. That was your correction. Your correction was from 16 to 14. I really said in my head, I could do 15 or 16. I'm like, well, say 14. Just in case they call you on it, you can pull it off.

Well, before... Before you said 14, I was like, four? I'm going to say, one in a quarter! I don't have a big appetite. I just... I love to eat, but I don't... I get full very quickly. So I think I could probably...

I could think I could force myself to do six. Which kind of buns you're not eating hot dogs, just to be clear. But how many hot dogs can you lay on your erect penis? A dozen easily, I've seen at least. If I was eating hot dogs,

I think I could take down five or six. And it would be uncomfortable, but I think I could do it. Mitch, how about yourself? As fast as you can, like... In 10 minutes? If I had 10 minutes, yeah. I think I could maybe do that. Because I've eaten four hot dogs, just like to eat them. By accident. Yeah.

Hmm. Well, guys, I think that I could do... I think I could have another three dog night. Give me three dogs, give me three dogs, mister. Give me three dogs to the door. We got... People got mad at us that we... Mixed up CCR and...

And the three dog night. Only Vietnam vets got mad. Yeah. Wait, that's not CCR. Who is this? Isn't that, uh, Skinner? Yeah, I think that's Skinnered. Okay. I could do about four or five dogs and then check out.

No, yeah, definitely do. In 10 minutes? Oh, 10 minutes. I thought it was... I thought you meant one minute. So probably times that by 10. 40 to 50. 40 to 50 dogs. Wow. I know for a fact that if I eat faster than my body

can register, it's full. I've done it so many fucking times in my life. I've seen you do it. You start moving like the matrix where you kind of see you over here and there. Like the agents when you shoot at the agents. It's a similar thing. I know, gout. Do you want to take the red pill or the...

Sir! So you got a Keanu and you got a peewee Herman. Yeah. Lord, I know your ears. Jesus Christ. Probably not going to have Alec on anymore. I could do a solid trump. I was...

Oh, come on now. When I came here tonight... He's Long Island Trash. I'm Long Island Trash. On the train to myself tonight, I thought, it's got to be too soon for one of these guys to make a joke like that. And it was not too soon. How dare you?

Anford, you and Mitch were in the other room. And Capers, Weigart and I looked at each other and we're like, okay, so we're the three guys at risk of making a Baldwin crack. Yes. Have we gotten it out of our system? Do we think we're clean? We shouldn't do it under any circumstances.

Alec left me a voicemail that I want to play for. It was an accident, you fat fucking pig. Capers, you little piggy. Capers, you little piggy. I'm on the hunt for Red Ducktoberfest Buns School or whatever. It was her birthday today

or yesterday, his daughters. I didn't know that. Mitch. The end of entertainment tonight lets me know. It shows all the birthdays. And I was just like, she probably got fucking reamed out today by fucking angry.

He was probably in a bad mood. Probably. Hopefully he was. He at least let him feel that for a fucking day. The audience doesn't want us to talk about Alec anymore. I don't want to talk about it anymore and I started it, I feel awful.

Nathan's famous was founded in 1916 in Brooklyn. Co-founded by Polish immigrants, Nathan and Ida Handwerker named for Nathan and over 200 physical locations worldwide and over 100 virtual locations due to the pandemic.

Griffin, you got yours from a virtual location, a ghost kitchen. You ate yours in Second Life, right? A digi-dog. I uploaded an NFT of cheesy fries. I was not free last night when you guys were making your program

to Coney Island. I was planning to go to a location today and I woke up and I found out that there seemed to be no open locations in any more. They have multiple ghost kitchens. You guys ordered me Nathan's to hear from Black Iron Burger.

So there's weird murkiness in terms of how much am I getting Nathan's versus whatever Black Iron is working on in their own kitchen. We'll talk about it, but your rings look decidedly different than the rings that Mitch and I had. I didn't eat them at a protest

because I don't think they were true Nathan's. Right. You're welcome. Gabriel, I believe you also, and I don't know if it was a location or if it was a virtual location, but you got yours in Portland. Yeah, because when I realized I was landing

in New York at 4.30, I would have to eat Nathan's before the power hour. And I was like, I just can't do it. And last night, I'm texting these guys. I'm like, I gotta figure out something healthy to eat so that I can handle Nathan's before the show. And then I'm on Grubhub in Portland, Oregon

and Nathan's pops up and I'm like, oh, fuck, am I gonna do Nathan's at 11 o'clock at night? And I got Nathan's delivery and the delivery guy looked at me like, wellness check. He's like, you're in Portland, Oregon.

Like every restaurant is open till midnight. You can eat any hipster, any fucking couture food you want. You want two weird hot dogs that deliver worse than they're served, which is bad. And that's what I ate in my hotel room

alone last night. These guys will post the picture. It looks like a fucking prison meal. It looks like Firefest was delivered hot dogs to my hotel room. Davies, you're like one of these 24-7 On Your Grind guys.

It's like, how do we make the schedule work so I can eat the right shit? Because of my career on this tour, I had to eat Nathan's and I have to watch Dune. I painted myself into this career corner where it's like you got to talk about Dune for a little bit of money. You got to talk about hot dogs for a little bit of money.

You keep hustling, Gabriel. How did we get so lucky? Look at us now. I told you, Dad, I would sort of do comedy and art. I can't tell you how many times I've been like, Ma, be quiet. I'm watching Muppet Christmas Carol for double boys.

This is a real thing. It's a real job. It feels good to tell your partner though like, babe, I'm sorry, I have to order a shit ton of Chick-fil-A tonight. She's like, why? I'm like, it's for a podcast. She'll text us and she's like, is he doing it? We're like, no. No, he was on tour

with you all last weekend, right? Uh... Oh, I checked into the China Buffet Hotel. They set your bed up next to the Rangoonz. It is telling to me though that Nathan's was never, even in New York, you know, it's hub, yes.

A chain that had a lot of full locations, but it was a place that had like, there's a fucking Nathan's in Penn Station, there's a Nathan's in Port Authority, there's the fucking Hell's Kitchen New York food court that has like a church's chicken.

There's a Nathan's in this barbershop that's bought by the one train subway entrance. There were a lot of places that were not necessarily even food places that had a Nathan's in the back, and like, all of them have closed in the last year. Nathan seems to primarily exist as virtual kitchen

within other establishments. I get my hot dogs from my tailor. Yeah, let's take up the cuffs, and of course, another dozen, please. Served on Wiger's Cock, if we could? I don't know, it was said earlier. I thought that was the thing you guys talk about. It's a thing I talk about, for sure,

with my therapist. I can't stop thinking about that guy with hot dogs on his dick. Why are you looking like you're about to say something? I was going... Thank you, Hanford. I was going to ask you... I like Baldwin's Innocent. Oh, alright, wise. Mitch.

Mitch. It's Wiger saying it in that snare. Oh, okay. Wiger. Wiger. So, Hanford, you got Nathan's, you went on your own. I went alone on this one. Wow.

I went alone, I went with a friend of the pod, Ben Axelred. Oh, hell yeah. Passed gas. That was me kissing Ben on the lips. Yes, we went to a gas station. There was a Nathan's and a gas station. Really? Because all the other restaurants, in big quotes,

were closed permanently. We went to the gas station, there was a counter that they had Nathan's going on. This sounds like a true lie. There's exactly... We were at a gas station and there was a counter. And I... And I went into the bathroom and this guy served me a hot dog

through the hole in the bathroom door. This storefront is a Nathan's slash watch repair? I used to work in this weird downtown advertising agency and we used to get the best... Ooh, Mad Men. Yes, that was the one. I drove a lawn mower around the conference room.

There was a... a jewelry store that had the best Bon Me sandwiches in it. It was a jewelry store until he got to the back and there was four Vietnamese ladies operating 14 toaster ovens. Not like a... just a bunch of plugged-in toaster ovens

and they're just cranking them out and there were $5 a pop. I ate two a day for the three-week gig. It's funny that when you walk in, the back of the house is scared they're going to get robbed. Yeah, they're just two guys with rifles right by the toaster ovens. Cover the pate. This one's a fucking freak.

I run in with, like, a Nixon mask on. Make it two, Utah. Two Bon Me's. So you're at the gas station, Nathan's. Yes, and, you know, the people behind the counter were... Is it true that you were going to go by yourself and then when you realize it was a gas station, you're like, I got a call, Ben.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll eat me alive over there. No, I was going to get gas. I don't know the car here, but I was going to get a gallon of gas anyway. I keep it on hand. Just make it up a drink for the show. I was going to bring a half a gallon at 87. With the supply chain stuff, it's good to have gas.

You're going to have some gas around. What do you think's in here? I'm a potter. You're a liver? There's a liver I got to bring to Seattle tomorrow for my show. Who would you like to bring? My show.

Sean Kemp needs it. For those of you who aren't aware, Gabriel is in the midst of his own tour right now. He made time for us, but your tour is taking you, took you from San Francisco to Portland, to New York City, and tomorrow night back to Seattle.

Five days, five flights, I'm either on stage, asleep, or on a plane, for like, for five straight days. Oh, watch and doon! Thank God I have a black... You live from New York City. Thank God I have amic, delta amic,

so I can shit in the lounge in all of these cities. You mean delta variant, right? What's that? Delta variant? Yeah, delta platinum variant. Why, do you want to know about my hot dog visit? I certainly do, Mitch. Perfect time for me to go piss. Yeah, same here.

Okay. You want to go too? Hanford is also leaving. Come on for me to fucking lounge. Out! I went to the original Coney Island location yesterday. I drove with Dan-o. Everyone knows Dan-o.

What the fuck are you doing? My hamstring just cramped. He's stretching. You're stretching? My hamstring just cramped up. Let's see how we can do it, right? A live glimpse of how flexible Nick is. You get it now.

I don't know what happened. I think I need a... Did you pull a Belvedere? What happened over there? I had a little... I moved my leg and my hamstring just cramped up, like abruptly. Yeah, sorry.

It's probably time to put you down. I went to the original Coney Island location, the Nathan's. Mitch, as did I. Wow. You were a couple hours after me. I did not wait for you, but... That's right.

I drove from Quincy, Massachusetts. I said goodbye to my mom. I said I'll see you in a few weeks. And I drove with Dan-o, as we know, and Cato, his Dan-o's wife, their husband and wife. We drove from Quincy directly to Coney Island to

Nathan's. And it was a nightmare. I mean, it took us, like, six hours to get there. Right. And Dave King joined us. Oh, here he is. Everyone's back. Gabris is back with a slice of pizza.

That is the most I've run in a long time. Did you run to a pizzeria? It's the only bathroom I can use in New York City. I miss rays. You know, you can just go to a restaurant and watch someone eat a slice of pizza.

No, they want to tear it here. Let's do that. So I went to the Coney Island location and Dave King joined us, friend of the podcast. Hi, Dave. He's out there. You don't look at me when you say that. And then we ordered from the self-order kiosk.

There wasn't a lot of people there. Now, the last time I was here, I went on a pizza tour of New York City. I went to DeFares. I went to F&F Pizzeria. Hold for applause each time. I went to Spamoni, and what is it? Ellen B. Spamoni Gardens? And that one sucked shit.

Fuck you. It was bad. The Spamoni was good. Wow. Whatever. He didn't like me from the start. Fuck off. Um... So we ordered from the self-order kiosk, and we put it all in.

And it was a gigantic order. Oh, my God, damn it. Hanford has climbed back on stage from the audience again. He don't have to do it the same way. Once again, he's climbing under the table to take his seat at the chair. So we put in our order of, like, 19 items. Right.

And the computer said... The computer said, there's an issue sending your order to the kitchen, which I assumed was just because it was too big. And when I said the computer said it, it said it on the screen. The computer didn't say it there. It didn't talk. Mitch, there's a no-order problem.

Well, what would it sound like if it did, Mitch? It would sound like one half of this podcast. Hey, buddy. If a computer could talk to Harambe, you would have dough boys. Do you say Harambe? I heard... This is, like, the second Harambe...

Harambe? He's back. Mitch, who's Harambe? Oh, I've got a story for you. Mitch, you were just talking about a hot dog computer. I like this. That's Mitch's... Three of the people on stage went to the bathroom.

We came back, we got up to, so we placed our order as... Ha-ha-ha! Oh, my... Well, my hamstring is cramped up. I would not have ran if I knew you would get to... We went to a computer, so... I was happy when Harambe died.

I was rooting for it, even. Wow. Oh, fuck off! They pull people's testicles off. They go for your face and your... Yeah, face and genitals, first thing, yeah. So they disarm somebody. Griffin, can you get this podcast back on drink?

Yeah, absolutely. This is a mess. You went to the fucking Coney Island... Mitch, you placed the order in the computer... It's the mayor who put it in the bathroom! Stop yelling at me! I went and I put in the order that there was a problem with the computer. There was a computer issue.

I don't know if the computers were down all across the country, or if it was just in this restaurant. There was a nationwide... Nathan's blackout! It may have been a nationwide issue. The whole system is down. In a 2K situation, the guy behind it said, I don't know, and I said, I don't know either!

I don't know. And so, eventually, he said, can I see your receipt? And the receipt was... Like CVS length? In my hand, in the end of it was in the ocean. There was a fish on the end of the receipt when we pulled it in.

And it was a gigantic receipt, said Mitch on it. That's my name. Not my real name, my name is Mark Mitchell. Don't worry about it. It's just for Top Dog, or Big Dog, or whatever it is. No, it's Top Dog. And so, I gave the person behind the counter

my receipt, and he said, we're going to work on this. And they went to town. Should I just talk about what I got? Yeah, I mean, we're almost... We should be getting to our final thoughts right now. The people in the kitchen are like, a Little League team just came in. We got the order.

Oh, never mind, it's one guy. One dead gorilla. Hot dogs killed the beast. I got myself a... Should we do an improv? Should we take a suggestion and do an improv? Let's do a hair roll. We just had to do one.

That's the one thing worse than live podcast. And it was the thing we also used to do. And backstage, we're talking about think, oh, we don't do that anymore. It's like D&D nerds looking down on people who play Magic the Gathering. It's like... It's like...

By the way, who went to the live D&D podcast here last night? Headgun Presents! I got myself... Here's what I got. This is what I got when I went to the Nathan's location. Let's just get... We just got it.

Just start saying words out loud, Mitch. Just read it. Nobody's going anywhere. This is it. An orange cream shake. I also got one of those. I got myself a large Coke, which was very big. An order of onion rings. I got onion rings.

Who else got onion rings? I only got fries. And you got those weird rings. An order of cheese fries. An order of fried oysters. What? A, Nathan's has them. B, you ordered them?

They do say... In his defense on the signage outside where this tourist mecca it does say that Nathan's seafood. They really push the seafood. An order of fried oysters. I did have a three dog night. I can't think of a parody song

off the top of my head. Big Wheel, keep on turning. It's a hot dog roller grill. Joy to the world is a three dog night. Joy to the dog, of course. Of course.

I had a bacon chili cheese dog. I had a chili cheese dog with onions. Yes. The bacon chili cheese dog had onions and sauerkraut and was a well done dog. This reads like the Unabomber except for a suicide note. Did George Weiger write this?

Mitch, when you told me that I was doing Nathan's for this, you said just go and just get hot dogs. Maybe I'll do a chicken sandwich and a burger too. He said no, that will disqualify you. I did say it would disqualify you. I said, man. And here you're eating seafood and a hot dog.

I got a plain hot dog with onions on it and I put ketchup and mustard on everything. Gabriel, you got a burger. Daniel got a burger. I was catching up on Doug Lobster, man, and I was ordering my Nathan's off the Grubhub app listening to you guys

and Susser says out loud and no cheeseburgers. And I just added a cheeseburger as like a full blown reactionary queen moment. I was like, fuck you, commish. And I just put it in. And it wasn't good.

Can I tell you something? I got a cheeseburger too. Oh my God. The rules are out the window. No hot dogs. Oh, I got hot dogs. I'm not an idiot. I got hot dogs coming out the yin-yang, bro. On that note, Griffin,

you got yourself a Philly Cheese Steak dog. In theory, in theory. My order was plain hot dog, Philly Cheese Steak dog. The menu you sent me had three options. Regular dog, chili cheese dog, Philly Cheese Steak dog.

Third one's the new option. I've had a chili cheese dog. I want a regular dog to refresh my memory. Let me try the Philly Cheese Steak dog on top of that. I asked for onion rings instead of fries because I thought they travel better. And I asked for the orange dream shake.

Shake's not available. That was the first text you sent me. I went, okay. Really, the first thing I ever said to you. It's the first time we've ever spoken. New text, unknown number. Remember shakes go with the snakes?

What? I believe what you texted me was no ho on shakes. And then the next text was no go. Yeah. That would be like an evil Santa. What, you want more Baldwin shit, you animals?

Evil Santa is good clean fun. And we have two people on stage who could fucking kill that role. I want it so bad. I'm glad Mel Gibson got to play the fat man. Finally, give him another crack. I went to a dirty water

hot dog stand outside Grand Central on my way over here. Yes. The hot dog cost me five dollars. Wow. Now, for the sake of the podcast, I said, okay, that is the price you are charging me here.

I am paying for it, but then I went and googled the New York's Park Commission and apparently the approved rate is two dollars and fifty cents. Oh boy. This guy double charged me, but part of the judgment is, is this worth the amount you're telling me a cost? Right.

Another thing was, this cart had no prices advertised on the outside, which apparently is not illegal, but is a violation. You can get a demerit for it. Did you report them? I did. I did. We're all going down to the commissioner's office tonight.

Who's coming with us? It's been a 19 month pandemic. I was like, shut these motherfuckers. I can't believe I made it through. Oh, the food podcast is shutting me down. I went searching for carts. I found three outside of

Grand Central. They all were Sabaret carts. I couldn't find a Hebrew national. I wanted one for comparison sake. I asked the other two carts how much you charge them for the dog, five dollars. Wow. Oner among thieves. They're all charging five dollars for these people getting

right off of the fucking metro north. Yeah, I think if you're away from Grand Central and Penn Station you can find two fifties. I know, but this is part of what I'm judging. For the Nathan's episode, part of what are you judging is the price gouging that local hot dog cartoony.

For comparison sake, I have my dog, ketchup, mustard, I eat it, I go, look, that cost 2.5 times more than I thought I was about to pay. Pretty good. I had a cart dog in a while. Get on the subway immediately start

feeling terrible. That thing set horribly. So I'm coming over here knowing I'm about to get Nathan's backstage. I bite into that Nathan's dog. It rules. Wow. It rules. It rules. Now, comparison sake, once again, I just had a shitty dog that

was overpriced. Sure. This Nathan's dog at a more upscale establishment by comparison probably cost less than the cart dog I got. And unfair advantage, I will admit, I threw a little crunch on that dog.

On that Nathan's dog. Unfortunately, I think according to this commissioner's rule, that does disqualify you. I threw a little crunch on the dog. No crunch. Thanks, commissioner. Tastes great. Opened up the onion rings. You guys said that looks different than the onion rings you

got. Looks very different. Very different. Then it's in the sidelines. It doesn't count. Tried one. A little crunch. Tastes a good. Doesn't count. And those are still down there? Yes. Then I opened up what was supposed to be my Philly cheesesteak dog. I bit into it. I went, this is

really good. Then I went, not tasting the dog. I opened it up. I rifled my fingers through it. No dog in there. They fucked up. They forgot the hot dog. I just got a straight up dog. They fucked up.

Do all the Philly cheesesteak dog. That's the ultimate fuck up is even order. They were like, someone clicked on it. They were like, I don't know. Dice up hot dogs and put it in a bun. It's just for show. I didn't know you could click it. That's like ordering

beer. And you open it up. Open the beer. And there's nothing in it. Well, oh yeah. That was good. Very similar situation. Pretty much follow that. The three part questioning

backstage. Why didn't you just say what Hanford said? I don't get it. I can think of one more example. Three part questioning backstage. Adam Pally was on the power hour. He did not stay. I'm here and said, I'm sorry. This is what we wanted.

He watched me eating this. He said, why would you order a Philly cheesesteak from Nathan's? I said, I thought Philly cheesesteak hot dog. He said, why would you order that? Yes. I broke down my logic. Wanted to try a variety comprehensiveness sake of the

podcast. Question number two was, and you're going to go on stage and perform after that. He says this while taking whippets. I continue to explain my logic and his third and final question was, you're single, right? And I went, yes,

you've read me perfectly. You're like, I told you when I said I ordered the Philly cheesesteak hot dog. You have no attachments to anyone else in this world. But the Philly cheesesteak was good. It doesn't count. I don't want to anger Susser. The hot dog in comparison was much better than the street dog

that I tried, which I feel like is the base reference point that I should throw out here. Wow, fair enough. Should we get to final thoughts on Nathan's? I think we're about that point where we need to get to our fork scores. I do want to say real quick, my experience was that I took the train straight

from the airport. Actually, that's a thing. I took the train from Nathan's to back to the hotel, but I had to take a timing-wise to get to Nathan's before it closed. I had to take a fucking cab and it was miserable. It was an awful ride.

Anyway, just as it was bad traffic, I wanted to ride the choo-choo out of the fucking airport. Anyway, I didn't get to. But I got there. The service was great. I had my luggage with me and I ordered a bun.

Then... You sent me the receipt and I hadn't listened. I was like, oh, right. He's plant-based. I have all my luggage with me and I asked, I believe Nassir was his name. Nassir was a prince. I said, can I get just

a bun? And he had to take it up the chain of command. He took it all the way to Nathan, I heard. He goes up to Nathan and I can see him mouthing like just a bun in the distance. But he helped me take

the shot. What? Sniper shoots, Nick. That's like getting just the bun is like, if you go to Wendy's and you're like, I'll take, what's their famous? Quarter pounder or something? I'll get the quarter pounder. And you open it up and there's no

meat in it. You know what that is? It's a very similar thing. It's a very similar thing. It's like going to Wendy's and ordering the quarter pounder. The famous Wendy's quarter pounder. So you got this bun,

you took your luggage and you got on the Cyclone, is that correct? Yeah, straight to the Cyclone. He was like, this choo-choo train is going in circles. And I want to confirm you're committed to putting no condiments on these buns. You're just... Dry buns. So I got a...

A millennials nightmare. Liger is the... Aren't we millennials, Mitch? I don't know. This is an ass-eating joke. I know, don't we eat ass, Mitch? No, thank you. We did a 96 last night.

Nassir's brow was furrowed throughout the entire encounter, but he was very patient with me, and it's the only place I've been to during this month that charged me for bread only. They had an item, line item on the receipt, bread only

79 cents. So I got a bun, and I was not gouged for it. I also got cheese fries, onion rings, creamy orange shake. Mitch, I agree with you that the creamy orange shake, I like that. I don't know if you got your thoughts. The cheese fries were great, the onion rings were oily, but the... I also got something that we have not addressed here

in this Dog Doe Bark Fest month, which is a brew dog. I got myself a Coney Island Brewery Beach Beer, which is a colch, and it was nice. It was a nice little treat with my meal. Why? Our order took so long that the man behind the counter gave me one for free. They seem understaffed, and like maybe they don't, you know,

the supply chain, maybe they don't have everything they need, but the service was very, very pleasant there. I thought they were very helpful. And patient. I got to say this about Wagga. This is not really about the podcast. It's the perfect time to start this. You...

Hey, I guess it is. Nick must be the best actor I've ever seen, because what he said was insane. He went to a hot dog restaurant and he ordered a bun. And there was no crack in his smile or anything. You know that's the craziest thing

in the world, but you're not like... And then, I couldn't say that without... You're gonna smile unless you show him a flash card on his face. But Cheeto himself couldn't kill it. It is bizarre that you often criticize yourself, Wagga, on the podcast,

as not being a very good actor when you walk amongst us undetected every day your entire life. Anyway, let's get to our final thoughts on Nathan's. So I am a...

I am a human man. I am a regular person. And as part of that, I badly need to do what you did earlier which was urinate. So I'm going to leave the stage and empty my bladder and we're gonna go down the line.

And I think by the time I return, we'll have gotten... Mitch will be like the computer said. It will be my turn to speak. So Griffin Newman, what is your fork score for Nathan's famous? Look, I think a dirty water cart dog is my baseline and I'm biased.

It's a childhood attachment. But Grace Papaya is my high water mark at this point. What used to be a little bit of a chain I think is reduced to only one location now but it still is the best as far as I'm concerned. I mean, I think

Nathan's is a chain particularly underserved by moving to a digital kitchen primary platform because the things that they offer do not travel well. You don't want a delivered hot dog. I didn't even order fries

because I knew they wouldn't make it intact and I couldn't get the shake I wanted. It's hard to hold that against them but also I tried to go to location and I couldn't. So I have to judge from that vantage point I like the cheese steak but it doesn't count. I do not want to incur

the wrath of supper. He's tearing up listeners. He's welling up like Demi and Ghost. I think if Grace Papaya is a five and the cart dog I had was a one then the plain dog I had from Nathan's was a three. That's fair.

Three forks? Is that three forks? Three forks. Three forks. I ordered Nathan's to a courtyard Marriott in Portland last night. I had it delivered to the lobby and the guy wouldn't make eye contact with me. I got two dogs

one chili cheese, one plain that I dressed with mustard and relish. I like the neon green relish. I'm a big fan. I thought everything was pretty fucking gross and I don't hold it completely against Nathan's. Nostalgia is so strong with this one. But I

will say I had one bite at the end I was like I had like half a hot dog there I couldn't even fuck with it anymore. I took just the dog, like the little dog off the bun and bit it and I was like fuck that's really good. That tastes really fucking good.

The bun sucks is what I Do you guys hear ticking coming from underweiger's chair? Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha Ha ha ha We need Robert Langdon here stat.

The bathroom's empty. I do agree with you though that like having two dogs back to back within the course of an hour you do recognize that the quality of the frank itself at Nathan's is above average. I would say their buns were worse than

I remember. Potentially they don't have the good ones in Portland and they travel awful. They don't tinfoil them. They put them in like paper so when they come it's literally like a cold movie theater dog but the fucking meat itself is so good that I gotta go with two and a half

forks. Wow. Wow. Wow. I was like why am I still talking just say a number and you can be done. Ha ha ha ha We're stalling because it takes two hours for the urine to drain out of Weiger's penis. He's back. He's back.

He's back. I timed it poorly. He's back. You have to get two stage hands to help him put it back. Ha ha ha Weiger leaving when it's time to like talk about your like hot dog stuff it's like if you were like training your whole life

you're an Olympic figure skater you train, train, train, train so you wake up every morning at 4am and you get the Olympics and the judges aren't there You know what? That's good. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point.

I went to Nathan's at a gas station I got a cheeseburger which I did not like I got the french fries which were bloated and weird and soggy and I did not like them I got a chili cheese dog and a regular

hot dog with a mustard and ketchup Did you guys just do ketchup and mustard on yours? I did crunch. I did crunch. Oh right. The ketchup came in a zigzag formed down the down the culinary Johnson and then a stripe

just a stripe of mustard so we crisscross, stripe and I thought that was a good way of doing the ratio of mustard to hot dog to ketchup It was with Ben Axelred he pointed that out to me Oh Thank God he was there

So thanks Ben Did I like the hot dog? I love the hot dog Did I enjoy the chili cheese dog? More than I could even express to you Five forks for me Four forks Wow

Wow My goodness He's one coy mother fucker the hand man baby You might have a combination for that Oscar way Remember the rules Only the hot dogs count

My man threaded that needle Good work hand man I also had a cherry coke That's fun Drinks in the stink and one in the pink What is the expression? Jesus Drinking the sink

The drinks are allowed Pour the drink in the sink and one in the pink I have to pee so bad and I haven't gone and I won't That's not true That is not true For this crowd I'm going to hold it the whole night

Yeah Yeah I can only pee in a Quincy basement Wise I had good company while I was at Nathan's but for a place that is some sort of landmark of sorts Yeah

It sucked really bad And my thought wise I don't know how you feel about it but first of all the fry clams were fried little husks We didn't know what they were Did they fry the clam shells as well

or was it only That might have been the issue The clams The thing that stood out to me the bun was bad It was a stale ass bun at the original Nathan's That's like

Never mind The elusive fifth beat Wiger I said if I got bullied one more time I was going to leave but I know he's a good guy Wiger I said if Hanford complimented me one more time

I was going to storm off this fucking stage Oh boy Sorry It was really bad Look when you go to Regina in Boston Here we go Here we go I forgot where I was from

No We saw your face For a landmark place For all I care knock it into the sea You knock all the fucking Coney Island into the sea Jesus You know what Boardwalk empire fuck it

Fuck New York Fuck all of you Fuck Boardwalk empire is very funny Hey that crossed the line He better not say Fuck Brooklyn 99 next Never

I love that show It's a Boston guy I love New York It's a great place Coney Island Nathan's Coney Island doesn't live up to Look I had Defars Pizza

Spamoni gardens We won't go over that again You can't start pandering now I know I turned on him But I can never turn on him I love the crowd 2.5 forks It's bad

It's bad Not to me You were at a gas station How dare you There wasn't much of a line at the original Coney Island location Service was good But it was very slow It was over 20 minutes before I got my order

It's also off season I would say in the summertime you're getting like the full The lines were around the corner When I was there on this pizza tour It was down the block Which is insane For anyone to wait that long for this shit Shut my ass up

Well I am reminded a little bit And I think this is better But of band LA Landmark Pinks Which we're not allowed to talk about this month Pinks is in the stink But it is a similar sort of thing where That is like a place that always has a line

And there's an attraction It's a very distinct looking building But its location and the crowds Are like almost like the interesting part about it Like it's almost like the food kind of takes a backseat I will say It's like what occurred first There's commercials

Right I don't know but they both appeared at the same time And a lot And you were like What is The cheese fries were You gotta go on that cruise by the way Again?

We went for your bachelor party The cheese fries were very very good They were, I love them honestly I thought they were fantastic cheese fries I love the sauce, I love the texture of the potatoes I did not get a little weird little red fork Which was a bummer That's what I was looking for to do the most

But I did not get that So I had to eat it with my fingers And the onion rings were just greasy And not nearly as good Creamy orange shake was good Beer was good I'm with Mitch, the bun was stale

It was a stale bun that they tried to bring back to life The bun was stale Wait can I double check something Orange cream shake, a beer And then rode the queue train back to the midtown Yeah it was a real And by riding the queue train you were just walking You were saying that you were a member of few and on

I mean you had a sergeant Mike General Mike Flynn rally In Coney Island I'm on the queue train, choo choo Here we go one Dominion finishing it Don't even fucking get on What was the

Five forks So Gabriel what was your score? Two and a half Griffin what did you do? Three In comparison to the dirty water cart dog You want this show to end End of the show for God's sakes

There's definitely two more segments I thought we were gonna Eat some candy and talk about that Or guess where the flavor soda was from I'm gonna go three forks For Nathan I think it was a three fork experience So now do I win

Because I had the highest number You walk away With a prize Which is a quarter pounder With no patty in it Wow Don't steal my jokes Is this a Rogan Mencia moment?

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Or you can use promo code DOEBOYS at checkout Do it Hey, uh, okay, so that was our review That was Ethan's famous Um, and we were We were gonna do a segment but we're running long I do wanna make sure we get everyone's questions in So we're gonna skip right to the Q&A for time's sake

Sorry SNL is starting, we gotta watch Just like Just like a restaurant We value your feedback Let's open up the feedback So we're gonna take some audience questions now Listen to yourselves

Listen to yourselves Please Imagine telling your kids about this one day So like the man Never mind So when I call your name, come on down And the first question I have that I see here Is from a Daniel O

Can Daniel O come to the mic? Is there Daniel O here? Down there Hey! Oh my god, it's Quincy's own Oh, Daniel Wow This is like a Clark Kent Superman

Moment Hi everyone Hi, Daniel You have a question for us Nick The burger boy, Wyga That's right But what is your full legal name?

Oh Thanks, Daniel I'm surprised I've never had this conversation With you, my full legal name is Nicholas Frank Wyger God, this Show is so embarrassed This is so long

It's so insane It's a Saturday night We talked about competitive Eaters for 30 minutes What's going on? I said it's a Saturday night You're just pointing out people In the audience, just stop it

We're ending the show I thought we were doing a segment Where we do Let's Be Frank My full legal name is Nicholas Frank And sometimes I go by Frank Which means it's time to review the weekend hot dog news In another edition of our regular segment Let Me Be Frank

Wow Hot dog simmer in the city Great am I grill getting greasy and gritty Toast bun, don't it look pretty Sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty Pork and bean, sausages and long bread Rolling on a roller girl, ketchup and mustard One bite, it's a different world

Swap dog bites with a girl Munch on, munch on and chomp all night Despite the farts, it'll be alright That taste, when the casein' has snapped Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap As it simmers in the city Like you're sucking on a titty Sucking on a titty

You ain't nothing but a hot dog Frying all the time You ain't nothing but a hot dog Frying all the time You ain't never been a burger And you ain't no lunch of mine Well they said you were sandwich Well that was just a lie

They said you were sandwich Well that was just a lie You ain't just bummin' on the wiener And you sure don't qualify You got a Frank in me You got a Frank in me When your pantry's Out of bed

And it's hours and hours Till you might be fed You just remember what the do-boys said But you've got a friend in me Colonel Ketchup Did you order the hot dog? You on answers I think I'm entitled to

You on answers I wanna be Frank You can't handle being Frank Son, we live in a world That has grills And these grills Have to be guarded by men with tongs Who's gonna do it?

You? You, Lieutenant Cheeseburg I have a greater appetite Than you could possibly fathom You weep for sausage And you curse the barbecue You have that luxury You have the luxury of not knowing what I know

That sausage being overcooked While tragic, probably saved calories In my existence While grotesque and incomprehensible to you Saves calories You don't want to be Frank Because deep down in places you don't want to talk about at restaurants You want me on that grill

You need me on that grill We use words like Honor, code, medium rare We use these words As the baby back rib bone of a life Spent defending something You use them on a menu I have neither the time nor the inclination

To explain myself to a man Who rises and eats atop the tablecloth Of the very freedom that I deep fry And then questions the manner in which I prepare it I would rather you just said That's tasty and went on your way Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a spatula And stand a post

Either way, I don't give a ham What you think you're entitled to Did you order the hot dog? I prepare the dishes Did you order the hot dog? You're goddamn right, I did! You say my franks are slightly cold We won't find out

Until They're grilled Well, I don't know If all that's true Cause you got me And baby I got you Frank

I got you, Frank I got you, Frank Ok, let's go ahead and google hot dogs Oh, boy That was so funny I'm so glad that Mitch, your friend, Dano asked that question Yeah, you know those

Quincy's Dano, everyone Wow For the first time ever We don't have time to look up hot dog news So let's move on to the questions Yeah, these are all We're gonna google hot dogs, hold on I'm looking at Microsoft being my preferred search engine

There's a lot of these ones about someone Dying during a hot dog eating contest Which is a real bummer Well, that's it So let's get some questions That was let me be frank Let's open up the feedback 12 year old runs hot dog stand with parents

To help pay for medical bills Hey, that's good No, 12 year old girl No, the SNL character drunk girl Scorsese's the Irishman receives a long Oh, no, I don't know what this is They named a hot dog after Scorsese's the Irishman Wow, there you go

And then that's kinda it, all the other news is weirdly sad Yeah, a lot of sad hot dog news this week What a bummer Oh, yeah, here's a real bummer Doughboys have a live show in New York City The saddest one of all Okay, let's move on Hey, that was let me be frank

Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback Let's go ahead and open up the feedback So here's what we're doing We're not screening questions for this first show It's been 18 months since we've performed live shows We started screening questions The same ones that we got a lot of people Trying to have a laugh

So we're not screening questions, but there are some ground rules No bit requests And if you're so shitfaced that you think You are at Harmontown Please don't step to the microphone So we're not gonna That's gonna ignite everyone in the crowd Step out of line

I'm talking to you So yeah, we're not gonna do a character on Command or anything But if you have a question about hot dogs or food Feel free, we'd love to hear them You can step on up to this microphone We'll only take two or three questions I see someone from the front row

We got two people coming Hey, what's up dude Is this on? Am I good? What's your name? What's your question? I see you're wearing a Doughboys t-shirt Hell yeah, I'm Sean I saw the Bond movie today was good You know how Bond orders

Vodka, martini, shaken, not stirred What would your signature order be If you were like a famous character Wow, you know That's a great question Sir, if you could direct that to the Sloppy Boys podcast We can gladly answer that for you

You know what, mine would be Mine would be quarter pounder No burger That's good Mitch Mine would be chicken cutlet Bacon, cheese, lettuce, mayo No tomato Mine would be another one of those

Nathan's Hot Dogs Let me hear you folks Deno just meandered off stage Well, we called him out here And forgot to interact with him I kept handing the microphone He's like, well no one's really talking to me The host won't acknowledge me

We shared to all boys That's enough The shaken, not stirred thing is interesting Because that was meant to be a working class affectation Is my understanding He's not a sophisticated guy Who demands a stirred drink He's a regular guy

He'll take a shaken drink I think I'd do a margarita On the rocks with salt Wow, that's a great beverage judge Thank you Mitch I used to make a hurricane Mitch Which was Captain Morgan and orange juice You remember these

We used to call those brass monkeys Vodka, captain and orange juice We're not going to get to all of your questions By the way Let's get to the next one Hi, what's your name? My name is Channing You called me insincere one time

We called you insincere What was the context? I was like, thank you for your class Oh, you see, you thanked us Sorry It was your fucking question Someone appreciates us so we don't know how to compute that I don't fuck this person up

So I recently was traveling on a plane And I was like, I brought a lot of snacks And then I realized it's like a pandemic With an airborne virus And I didn't eat any of my snacks Sucked What are your favorite midflights? Munchies, like what's good?

Good question I fill my mask with trail mix Before I even get on the plane And I just Never have to take the mask off Just chew it down throughout the whole plane I usually do mid-flight He's gone

He's left the building I usually do like a chicken corndog With like a scallop potato Did you think that guy Really meant his question? Yeah Low-key insincere There was that vibe

For me, you know, whatever first class is serving Is usually what I watch on I go I'm fat, I fill my first class Okay, next question I just wanted to get your bagel orders Not from like A bagel bagel store

I want to know what you order at a bagel store Whole eat everything Scallion cream cheese, lox Wow, I love it Everything bagel with either plain or chive cream cheese Onion and chive cream cheese Regular everything

Pastrami, lox, tomato Onions, capers Scallion cream cheese Wow, what an order That's some real, I wrote the subway in high school energy If I've ever seen it All right, I'll step back and beat Toasted sesame

Garden cream cheese We're ducking What's the fruit Tomato and Lemon What's the fruit, the tomato? Really, Mitch, that is a fucking fruit I know it is

I know it is, you rub it in my face all the time I know it is What's your order? Just kidding, go back to your seat Salt bagel, plain cream cheese That's my most common go-to I love a salt bagel Pretzels for breakfast, baby

Thank you for your question I was going to give my bagel order Yeah, but you kind of read the room Tofu cream cheese We have three more guys Waiting, and I think we can get To all of them, and then we'll call it a show This guy's pissing on the microphone

I think he thinks he's in the bathroom No, this is another preference Question I don't know how anybody can think That there's anything better than Heinz For ketchup, but for mustard There's so many Different types

And even Even like Dijon, there's like Five different ones that taste very different I have a shelf of mustard In my fridge Truly, I'm married to a white woman So we have like a thousand mustards And the one I like

For hot dogs, though, is just French is yellow That's my jam on hot dogs French is yellow all the way I love a French is yellow I did because I take Umbridge with your assumption Inherent in the question

That there's nothing better than Heinz's For ketchup, and the answer is Heinz is for French! Throwing French into the audience Good God Thank God All of them were almost caught

I think one maybe did hit someone Oh, please, please I hope no one got hurt and it didn't pop It's all open to the air Everyone's covered I would have caught that in my mouth Like puppy And sucked the crunch in

Pallies calling me Your show's not over Alright, last two questions And then we're done Mitch, you're famously known as the Dorito kid That's right, like Nana used to call me the Dorito kid Also, famously Doritos can be used as Kindling in a fire

What the hell? Okay, I like where you're going with this I've done it camping a couple of times To start a fire really easily with them With Doritos? That's how you know they're good for you Hold on a second, I'm going down in the crowd I'm going to kick this guy's fucking ass

The waste of Doritos Can you guys think I know Nick has multiple uses for an apple But are there any other uses For food items Beside eating that you can think of And a follow up question Will each of you have sex with my wife?

I'm going to answer Coconut oil For like, cracked skin And like, chapped lips And yes, but I want to go last Congrats on the Nick season, by the way They're doing great, one last question With the Doug Dobark fest t-shirt

That's the one we sold I ordered it just in time To get there So I went to college in Montgomery, Alabama And the minor league team Is the Montgomery Biscuits, that's right Wow, the hell's going on And so during in-between innings

They shoot biscuits into the stands Like literal biscuits So I know you've talked about this before Yeah, it's a new way to end it, buddy What food stuff Would you guys like to be shot Into the crowd at sporting events? Oh shit

I think Groves just did it with the I got one answer, the answer is French! Folks, that's our show Griffin Newman John Gabriel Mike Hanford Until next time, for Mr. Slice Mike Mitchell

I'm Nick Weigher, happy eating See ya I got the fat boy Coming soon On Dobois You tell anybody else Oh, he ate my hot dog They'll say

So? It was eight years ago, what's your problem? But you weren't there! You weren't in the bullman? I was in the bullman I was in the bullman I was in the bullman I was in the bullman

I was in the bullman This is Man Bites Dog A dovestigation podcast From Dobois Media Years of vilification For something I do not need to be vilified for Years!