Doughboys - Domino's 3 with Clare O'Kane

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Clare O'Kane (@clareisokane, Quorators) joins the 'boys to talk San Jose eats, the third eye, and her dog Penny before a review of Domino's. Plus, another edition of Meal in the Flank!Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://medium.com/better-marketing/how-dominos-revitalized-its-failing-brand-77e9dec19ac3https://dennisfoodservice.com/dominos-pizza-turnaround-case-study/https://www.nrn.com/restaurant-operations/a-deep-dive-into-domino-s-historyhttps://yourstory.com/2025/01/dominos-brand-neverhttps://www.rbi.com/English/about-us/board-of-directors/person-details/default.aspx?ItemId=fe88d18d-76c5-41b5-9f3a-155d2c40ecb5See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Worst excuse for pizza I've ever had. This was one of many harsh criticisms the world's largest pizza chain piled in a 2009 commercial for that same business.

Driven by the on-camera presence of its then-president Patrick Doyle, the original spot and subsequent follow-up ads combined self-flagellation by the reforming corporate steward with a promise to do better. Originally founded in 1960 by Tom Monaghan and his brother next to Eastern Michigan University, the trail-blazing Zaw chain quickly focused its concept on delivery and grew to massive size by the turn of the millennium. But scaling up is often paired with ratcheting down quality control, a criticism that was widely shared by pizza purchasers of the era.

Doyle's novel strategy, which necessitated a public humbling that few ego-mad executives would be willing to endure, acknowledge these failings and sworn oath to make up for it with tangible, improvements. The commercials were a wild success, as became the revitalized pizza chain itself, which improved the spice and herb blend used for its crusts and sauce, added provolone to its mozzarella-based pizza cheese, and made numerous structural improvements to address speed and consistency across nationwide franchises. Today, the pizza tracker, which was originally an outgrowth of this restaurant rehab, has become a much-imitated staple of the sector. And Doyle, the self-selected face of failure, has graduated from heading a pizza chain to overseeing, to

overseeing all of restaurant brands international, the parent company of Burger King, Tim Horton's, Popeyes, and Firehouse subs. So when many of those chains need a patsy, they know who will fall in the sword. This week on Doe Boys, we return once again the Domino's. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Highway to Hellman's, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. Is it highway, W-E-I-H? Highway to Helmins. High-weight to Helmins.

Oh. That's maybe a hat on a hat, but I don't hate it. You think it's that? I thought it was a punchout. I can't like it. High-Wates to Helmand. No, I like it. Thank you, Emma.

Some people would say that's gilding the lily, but I think that's just the dough boys way. Oh, it wouldn't pass in your room. It would get shut down. What are you talking about? I think someone would say that, but I wouldn't. Oh, thank you, Wise. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. I said thank you. you thought of this at 3 a.m. trying to get my daughter to fall back to sleep and had to get it out of your brain. What, you got a... Thanks for all you can do. Thanks for that. Thanks for all that you do. Jesus.

Kyle from Rochester. Upstate New York. Garbage plates. A little parenthetical. I saw a hey buddy bumper sticker on a car outside my gym. So at least one other person here would come to your show if you visited Rochester or Buffalo. The cities are fine, I guess, but we have garbage plates and chicken wings roasted brock. That motherfucker's eating fast food in the gym.

parking lot, the guy with a hey buddy bumper sticker. You were starting to say something. I just thought you got too mad at me. I didn't get mad. I thought you got too mad at me. We're not mad at each other. I wasn't really mad at you. I wasn't really mad at you.

You were saying I was gilding the lily. I didn't say you were guilty. Some real writer's bullshit, gilding the lily. I've gotten that note before. Look, I'm getting attacked left and right by you, by Fart Knocker 69, on the Reddit, who maybe is a made up guy that, I'm just going to blame for all my problems. Here's the issue with Fartnocker, 69.

I don't think he's arguing in good faith. I think he's always coming from a place of just wanting to find something to poke at. Like he wants to start a confrontation. And if that's your opening, negotiating position, if that's your like, I'm going to the table trying to start a ruckus, how do you think things are going to go for you? Of course, people. And then I'm just like, you're just getting what you want.

You're riling people up. You're railing Mitch up. Mitch is mentioning Fart Knocker 69 on the podcast. You won Fartnocker 69. You won. You won. You did it. Napa boy sucks and Walmart is great.

I just got my Napa Boys Blu-ray just arrived today as of this recording. I haven't gotten home to see you yet, but I got the notification. So I'm very excited to crack it open. I think it's a funny movie. I do think it's a funny movie. Some of our listeners maybe don't like it. But you know what? Fuck off, I guess.

We can't trust our listeners' taste because they listen to Doe Boys. That's a great point. That's an immediate disqualifier. That is very true. We got to talk about something that happened just before the record. Yeah, we do. So Amelia. Also, wait, hold on a second.

Yes. Happy 250th birthday to America. Happy 250th birthday to America. What is that, Cessquicentennial? What the fuck do you call it? I have no idea what you just said. We were trying to figure out what that was. 250?

Yeah. The quad cent. Cescentennial. Cesquicentarial. Cesquicentennial. Oh, fuck. Cesquincennial. I was in the right, I was in the right ballpark.

Sounds like an incantation. Just someone to choko, whoa. I'm going to pop in real quick and see you should probably do an intro just in case something bad happened on the 4th of July. Yes, yeah. Like something explode. We should also like, I got, I got it. Okay. Happy 250th birthday, America.

Hang in there. You've survived worse. You can get through this and we'll miss him. We'll miss him. We don't know who that is. We don't know who that is. We'll definitely miss him. We're going to miss him.

We're going to miss him. Him and maybe her. Definitely her. Amelia comes in. Amelia in the kitchen. Yeah, she's a fucking babe. Amelia comes in the kitchen and we've eaten our meal for the podcast. we are

it's pizza it's fine for us to eat in the kitchen before the what are we supposed to do and now I'm getting defensive I'm just anticipating Fart Knocker 69 saying something attacking me because they do boys shouldn't eat

just before the record they should go the rest of the experience it's a fucking pizza place it's a pizza place Domino's is designed for delivery you can't sit in the Domino's motherfucker I've sat in Domino's you know what you look like you look pathetic

I said a Domino's by myself eating a medium pizza and you know what it was not a fun fun look if I saw you If I saw a fucking taxi driver sitting in my restaurant, I would be happy. We had a, I would, I was on.

69, was mad at me for making fun of S&L and then shit on Napa Boys. Yeah. There's a lot of funny people, whatever, fuck off, Fart Narka 669. We know what you're saying. We know what you're saying. I'm not going to get back into it. We don't need to get back into it. This is also like six weeks ago because we're recording this episode in advance.

Yes, that's the other issue. Happy 250th birthday, America. Yes, happy Sestwincentennial. We'll miss all those guys. We'll miss all those guys. Oh, my God. Especially her. The bottom count is rising.

All those guys. The tater's on that one. Oh, man. Fried up. Mama Mia. Isn't it sad that, isn't it sad that like 250 years of, like, we're in such a bad, I mean, I know America's always had its problems, not the, you know, we've been bad, but like.

I'd say there are three problems with America. The reference to a birthday boy's sketch. That fucking sucks shit. That's good enough to be on SNL. Eat shit, you fucking dork. It's not that long to have so much go wrong in such a short amount of time. Yes, it's true. Yes, yeah, you're talking about our country right now, basically.

No, talking about birthday boys. Oh. No, yeah, 250 years is like nothing. But I'm saying like 20 years ago, you could be like, whoa, 250. Look, this is fun. We're having fun. But there's, I wonder what we did this week, Wags. I wonder what we did for the fourth. My guess for you, nothing. I, I'm, I often do nothing for the fourth. But we'll see. Maybe I'll look at some fireworks. I don't fucking know. Every time I see fireworks, I was like, I've seen this shit before. You know, do you ever, are you wild by fireworks? Am I wrong? To be cynical about it? Well, now they can make fireworks out of drones stuff. It's so they can make anything. The drones is new. When I saw a drone show, I was like, that's pretty cool. Yeah. Which also feels equally as, traumatic to veterans. Right, right. I'll say this.

This is now old news, but they put Skeletor over the, in the sky in Los Angeles. And it looked kind of crazy. And I was like, if you don't know, if you saw like a big skull man in the sky, I guess no one is a caveman. But still, like, that is,

that is kind of scary. That some kids would be scared. This guy used to be Skeletor. He used to do a bit of Skeletor. We don't, we don't talk about that anymore. Jimmy also does not like fireworks. She gets in the shower. and shivers.

Oh, more jemmy. Look what you did to Jemmy. You happy fart knocker 69? I'm glad that Jemmy suffers from the firework. I don't like dogs. It's a classic American form of entertainment. I like Walmart. That's what I like.

Walmart love a piece of shit. I root for the biggest fish. I root for everyone who's powerful. They need me to stick up for them online on the Do Boys subreddit. This is why I love the guy. He gets my back sometimes. Love you too, buddy. Well, hold on.

Before we get into that, there was a lot of funny bits before you. There was some, oh, before I arrived? Yeah, before you. Okay. No, no, no, not before you arrived. I came late from work. I apologize. There's a G.I. Jane reference and then Amelia pretended to slap you.

That was pretty good. Our guests, our guests, we were talking about our, our haircuts and how we both kind of, you know, I don't want to mischaracterize what, how you said it, but like, it does simplify my life to have this just taken care of. And then I said, now you could. Played G.I. Jane 2. Yeah. And Amelia did a fake slap.

Fake slap. Keep my boss's name out of your fucking mouth. Thank you. Which, by the way, the devil comes for your highest moment. A line of mine in Napa Boys, which no one understands. Yeah. Which is what Denzo Washington told Will Smith the night of the officers before he slapped. Or actually after he slapped.

Yeah, pretty good. What is it? He said the devil comes from. at your highest moment. And then Will Smith, I think said that on stage, right? I think that that's funny. I was a good line. That shit was so crazy.

It was really. I mean, the world has gotten so crazy that, but it was for a world that has also gotten so crazy, you're still like, whoa, that was fucking crazy. In like a cool way. I wanted to have it again. It would be fun if there was one person that's going to get slapped each Oscars. I think it would be helpful. They should do that.

We got a lot of conversation out of the slap. So I think the slap was probably a net good for the world. I'd like to slap that Ted Sarandos across the head. Mitch. What? He's in charge of Netflix. Netflix is my favorite company. Yeah, I apologize.

Fartnerch 69. He seems like a nice guy, Ted Sarandos. Mitch could never manage a company as well as Ted Serendos does. What do you think of that big comedian photo with Ted Sarando? Everyone with Ted Sarandos. The ball pit. There are people who I like in that photo. Yeah, I mean, it's just like, whatever.

It's a weird, it's a weird mix. It's just three months ago. Yeah. Why are we jumping so far back in time? I called it Riyadh, too. But I liked a lot of the, I genuinely like a lot of the comedians. Yeah, there's some funny people, some cool people in there. I do, and I have a lot of great people in there.

I can see myself in there, arm around Gillane. So, uh, you next to Bill Simmons. Yes, uh, wait, there was a couple other funny things. I have, I have, I know, I know the big one. Yeah, but what is the one? Well, I do want to, I did just want to say that. I said that you should shave your pubs and have an open banana peel on your crotch. Tattoo, yeah.

Yeah. Because I said I didn't want any tattoos and bathing suit areas. Well, the days is trying to get you to do a face tattoo. No, I'm not doing a face tattoo. I'm not doing a face tattoo. I was not suggesting a face tattoo. Should I? No, don't.

Don't do it. I'm not going to do it. You could do it for charity and then laser it off immediately. Yeah, I don't know. Then you would have like laser face, wouldn't you? Yeah, you have a laser face. I think I'm too narcissistic. I think I just like I like how I look

I'm pretty, I like, I like my face So I'm just like I don't want to scuff this up Must be nice I like my face and I like my ass So I don't want to put any ink on either of those Yeah, don't put anything on your ass I was thinking about putting it about inking up Just because I don't like my ass

Wow, okay Or if there's a way I could ink it up to make it look You know Some inked asses do look cool Like I was looking at like some yakuza of like Those are so cool when they have their ass tattooed And then their ass looks nice and Yeah, it's fucking awesome

Cartoon ass. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, you got a Mona Lisa thing going on. Don't touch that. That ass? Mostly just expression, facial expression. He kind of does like the non-smile kind of look. Yeah, you can't.

Actually, you can tell that you're not smiling. I guess there's no question about it. It's 100% of frown. I have a RPG create a character face. Hair just changing. It is true. You had like a wild man hair phase at one point, but you weren't more fun.

Like you would see, like, I think you would see you and be like, he's fun. And then you're like, oh, never mind. Remember when he got us by wearing a wig to the studio and then taking it off in the middle of that episode? That was cool. That was so good.

You were convinced it was his real hair? You had a beanie on that also had a wig underneath it. And then he was like, I'm getting kind of hot. I'm going to take my hat off and then he pulled his hair off with it. Wow. This is when I had long hair, which I was telling you about. And so this was just before I'd just cut my long hair off and hadn't told anybody.

It got us all really good. You know what if I saw that? I don't like pranks like that. Get my boss's name out of your fucking phone. I liked when he said, here comes Richard. That was my favorite part of that. That was really good. Speaking of Amelia doing impressions here.

Yes. Amelia, do you want to hit us with this is new for us. Do you want to hit us with your Rodney Dangerfield impression he did for us in the kitchen? Sure. Want me to do it for? Wait, wait, wait. I'll do a whole bit. Okay.

My wife, she puts my bowl of food on the floor next to the dog. Hey, that's what I'm here for. Amelia's line was, hey, that's what I'm here for. Instead of, I don't get no respect. Oh, that's what it is. Okay, okay. All right. I thanked Amelia for helping me with something logistical for today's episode.

and she said, hey, that's what I'm here for? First of all, she... What the fuck you do? She did that voice and we were like, what is that? And she was like, Rodney Dangerfield and we're like, what? And that we got even more confused. That's just how they treat me around these parts. That's what I'm here for.

Hey, that's what I'm here for. Hey, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, we love it. You got a shirt that says that's what I'm here. Let me tell you. tell you, that's what I'm here for. I went with my doctor. He said, I need to lose way to ask for his second opinion. He said, I'm ugly

too. Hey, that's what I'm here for. You did a good one. You did an actual... I had to improvise a Rodney Danger. Hey, you can't pray. I could have fooled me. Hey, all right. I'm as good as Rodney. I didn't say that. Hey.

I'm trying to sneak it in. Hey, thank you for all you do. Somebody say it. Hey, thank you for one. Hey, thank you for one. You do. That's what I'm here for. That's both? It's both?

No, it's a call and response. So it's two Rodney's dug in each other? Yeah, it could be. It could be. It could be. It could be. It could be. It could be.

It could be. It's a fun sort of yes and, just imagining two different Rodney's playing off of each other, saying they're two famous catchphrases. Thanks for all that you do, and that's what I'm here for. Hey, do you remember the end of Caddy Shack when Rodney the intro was like, hey, everybody, thanks for what you do. The movie ended You just hear his voice over the credits

That's what I'm here for Do you know what the real quote is there? At the end of the thing? Yeah I get no respect, I tell you. No, it's... Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get laid Or everybody's gonna get laid.

We're all gonna get laid. We're all gonna get laid. Have you seen Candy Shack ever? Yes. I was gonna say, I also was like, you don't have this. It's bad. I think it sucks. You think it sucks? I don't like the cat's favorite movie.

Well, no, I love your dad. Well, you never, oh, you did meet my, you have met my dad. You met my dad. Great times with the whammer. He died shortly after that. I've seen enough. He's in the ground with that gopher, he loves. Jesus, right.

I don't feel like I know you well enough to really make the joke. The gopher dancing by my dad's grave. He was like, shut the fuck. I hope he met Rodney Dangerfield on the other side. Hey, me too, I guess. And he graded him with a, thanks for all you do. My dad or Rodney. Both.

My dad's dead too, so don't worry. Oh, yeah, no, I know this. Also, I'm not, that doesn't make me like, okay, good. That's sad, news. I just don't even playing field. You can make fun of him, too. It would be nice to talk to my dad one last time. What would you say?

Hey, that's what I'm here for. My dad nods, it goes back. What else? We got into a, because I was talking, I was doing a... We will never see eye to eye on some things because we have different values. Why don't we, look, let's save this for when we get into the episode. I was talking an Italian voice to you, wasn't?

I wasn't I getting mad at you? I was like, I was getting mad at you for some reason. I don't remember. That sounds like pretty much a Tuesday. Any given day. And it was over. We'll get back to it. We'll get back to when we get in the restaurant.

But you should play your job, Mitch. You're a tosser. That's what I said to. You're a garbage tosser. That's what I'm talking about here. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm here for. Not in the British sense.

Not a tosser. You're like, you're a tosser, mate. No, yeah. You're like to toss things. What does that mean, by the way? I think it's a slur. I think it is a slur. No, I think tosser is like a jerk off.

Like you're a jerk off. I could be wrong. Like you're tossing your salad. Someone who's a bennoxious, unpleasant, arrogant, or an idiot. So, yeah, I think it is like you're tossing your dick around. You're kind of being arrogant. You're fucking tosser. I thought you were canceled.

No, it's not a, no, it's not a slur. Okay, all right. I know the slurs. Yeah, you are a tosser. Yeah. You are a tosser in, I'd say in both ways. Hey, I get no respect, no respect at all around here. I don't understand that impression.

You doing Rocky? Oh, hit him with a drop, Emma. Sorry, that's what you were waiting for. Yeah. You go completely cue ball bald. You look like Michael Chickless, but your hog can be as big as you like. You can add this much to your hog. Yeah, limp dick, depression.

But your hog can be as big as you like. Drinking cold water, it's better than coming. Better than coming. Drinking cold water is better than coming. Better than coming. And also, McCauley Culkin blows, George went, Did I do that? The Muppets and Tom Cruise are the people who care about movies more than anyone else in the world.

The Muppets and Tom Cruise. I stand by that. I don't think there's any of them. I think the Muppets and Tom Cruise do care more about movies than any of you fuckers. You Walmart love and fart knocker 69ers. Fuck you. Anyways, I'm too angry today. Yeah, you are.

What do you mean? Drop to BirdFug.com. The world has gotten bad. What am I supposed to do? I know. I'm a loyal man. I try to be a good guy. I get it.

You're emotionally invested in it. I'm just like, I probably have drifted. too far into just fatalism and nihilism of just like whatever we're gonna do you know i mean it just makes me apathetic because we're powerless you can't do anything i'm sad this year it's it's gotten to me it's all bad everything's bad it's george lucas museum of narrative art is opening got that to look forward to i'll fucking live there yeah where uh in in downtown laa yeah you can take the train to it hi i'm sitting this before oh sorry go on i actually do want to hear about this that's it all i said it was i i you can take the train to it and i

This is like a train dream for you. It kind of is a train dream. It is. Chee, chew. Me and the guest did not like that. I wish you could hear my thing. Should that be it? Chew-choo-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-.

That's good. That's good. That gets them all in there. We found it. You got to get them all in there. You got to get them all in there. You got to get them all in there. I'm sending. Hi, I'm sending this before I edit it any further. I'm pretty sure it doesn't make sense. Contrapula. Contrapula, I disagree.

I thought it was good. Yeah, it's pretty good. What are you saying? Drinking cum water is better than cum. What do you say? Drinking cold water is better than cumming. Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.

I disagree. Okay, well, hold on a second. That was taken out of context. That was taken out of context. Okay. We were talking about how sometimes when you're so dehydrated, drinking cold water can feel better than comment. If you were parched in the desert.

Yes. And yes, that moment of a relief. Drops at BirdFuck.com. No, I don't get to tell this story. It's not even a good story. Let me introduce our guest, and then you can decide whether or not you want to unleash this story. A writer and comedian for Messinnell, SpongeBob SquarePants, Shrill, and the podcast Cororators, Claire O'Kane is here.

Hi, Claire. Hi, happy to be here. Oh, thanks for making time for us. Hey, thanks for having me. What a, who, you are from San Jose. I'm from San Jose, where you just were. We just were on tour fairly recently. We just were, but the place you wanted me to go was literally in my building.

and I pointed out to Weiger, and then the next, I planned on going the day I was leaving, and it closes at a certain time. It wasn't, it's open at like four. Dress. You can say the original Joe's. Original Joe's. Original Joe. I was going to let you say. Original Joe.

I should have just done it. Tell me about original Joe's. Original Joe's is an Italian, in quotes, restaurant. It's just like American Italian food. And there is a chain of it, right? There's another one in San Francisco. The original one is in San Francisco. and that can be seen in the movie.

Zodiac. Wow, I love Zodiac. They ate a meal in it. But this one is not that cool, but it's cool because all the, it's all waiters, men, male servers. The way, yes, Wags, the way Wags thinks it should be.

And they're all wearing suits. I love that. And then you can also sit at the counter, watch the guys make the burgers. And I just used to go there to like pretend I was a poet or whatever and drink coffee and eat a burger. And it was right down the street from my high school.

Do you have a penit of that? You have a pen and paper where you're like, To Bee or like where you're doing stuff? To Beauremberg's. Coss. I get drunk and throw it. But yeah, it's just like a place where I think I told you like where you go after graduation or it's like someone's birthday. My dad would go there and drink Long Island iced teas, which I didn't realize. That's why his demeanor changed every time after we went to original shows.

I was like, why is dad always mad after we got original shows? But, yeah. Mitch pointed at me after you said graduation. You say, what? You say I'm going to be, like, fucking lurking there. Hey, congrats on graduating high school, buddy. So I'm going up to a table. I buy a round of drinks.

Yeah, I went to an all-girls Catholic school right down the street from there. Wow. That's wild. What's the vibe in an all-girl Catholic school? Pretty, honestly, pretty stinky. I'm sorry. Generally, the cycles are sinking up. Oh, boy.

And, you know. Stinky. I never have thought. The less stinky of the species. If you get a lot of girls together on a certain time, they're stinking. I think anybody, any group of people going through puberty is stinky. Yeah. That's fair.

I'd say most people are stinky. You've ever been around people? They fucking smell bad. That's true. I mean, I read the fucking train. There's so many people smell awful. Did any guys ever dress up as a girl? and try to go to the old girl school,

and then we're really good at soccer. And then they had a coach that was like, hey, that's what I'm here for? Did that ever happen? Yeah, actually, it did. I had no idea that was a plot. It's called Ladybugs. I got to add that to the watch list.

Movies used to be a little different in the 80s. What were talking about? There wasn't one where, say, a white guy pretended to be black. Oh, wait, actually, yes. there was. It wasn't titled Soul Man. But I don't know, we got to wear sweatpants all the time. We only had to wear skirts when we went to church.

Oh, that's nice. It's not strange. No nuns. Nothing crazy like that. No one. No inappropriate nothing that I can remember. Were there just regular-ass teachers? Regular-ass teachers, yeah.

Wow. And then church there was like a priest, but it wasn't like... No, we would just go to like the local... You'd go to a nearby church? Yeah. Wow. That seems so much more casual than I expected. There was an order of nuns.

I think you started it. And then, you know, they're like modern nuns. They're just like have short hair and play guitar kind of stuff. That's cool. Yeah. Wait, you went to normal high school? I went to normal. I went to a public high school.

I went to Long Beach Poly High School, a homeless scholars and champions. Did Snoop Dogg go there? Snoop Dog went to my high school. I think I remember you saying that because I remember one of my high school science teacher, Mr. Faggiano, also went there. Wow. Shouted to Mr. Faggiano. How about that? He's hot.

Okay. Hope he's still alive. Hit us up. Hit us up. I remember that I, I just remembered an old joke that I said you looked like the night of the living dummy. Do you remember this? Yeah, that was funny. But I just thought of it.

I was like, that was mean. That was funny. It was funny. And then we put the cover up on the screen. We put the cover up during the live show. I just pulled up. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah.

Yeah. Dussie, Dussie do kind of light. Like I love it. I can't deny it. Maybe your smile a little bit. I got him a little bit. In the ears. So, okay, also in San Jose, we reviewed La Vix.

Yes, we did. La Vixx. Any thoughts on La Vix? I love it. You love it. I love it. I think people who, in San Jose who think it sucks are just being contrarian and they're like, well, everybody likes La Vix because it's well known, but I think it's good.

And the orange sauce is good. Orange sauce was great. When I visit, I love the orange sauce. I take a, bring a bottle home. Yeah. Do you know this other, there's a hot sauce lady. Can you look her up with the lady who I fell in the cartoon I fell in love with. Mitch fell in love with hot suss lady.

I don't. No. No, I mean, she's great too. She's a San Jose local who has a shop near Elavix. She is based on a real lady, but there is a cartoon version, but that's who I'm in love with. Mitch saw the cartoon version and was just like, I want to know more about that lady. Brought up the show. No one knows who she was.

I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, I think it's pretty niche. It might be local. It might be niche. Yeah. But you knew original Joe's. Yep. And I wanted to eat there.

We didn't eat there. We'll have to try a virtual shows. We didn't have time for more than one meal, basically. It was a bummer. You're just there for one day? Yeah, we're just there for one day. Here's a funny thing. Is that it?

Oh, mama. Yeah, that is her. What's her name? It says Shady Lady. She looks like she's sitting bare-assed on a flaming pepper. And she's smoking something. The fuck. Look, I'm in love with a lot of cartoons.

Shady Lady. That's who it is? I don't think that's the one. I don't think it's one different. I'm in love with many cartoons. So we'll narrow it down. But you know what I was thinking, Wags? Yeah.

We were stayed the hotel that's attached to original Joe's old hotel haunted Super old it was haunted it's haunted by a lady wise and then later you had an experience I was just think I just put this together you think that possibly a ghost followed me I don't know about that okay but I'm just saying you saw a lady so you saw a lady I had a I had a recent experience as of this recording that we talked about on a previous episode where yeah, I did that there was a, I saw some sort of apparition, but I think that as Amelia and I discussed,

it's entirely possible, it was probably likely that it was some sort of a hallucinatory state or some sort of, you know, waking dream. I just like, what was weird about to me is how vivid it was, how clearly it was in my own room. Like, like it was in our apartment. It was not like in some dream world equivalent. And I get sleep paralysis.

I'm re, I'm, I'm repiping things I said previously. I get sleep paralysis. I've experienced that before, and I've had hallucinations during that, and that I can clock is like, well, this is sleep paralysis. I know what I'm experiencing.

I was not sleep paralyzed. I was fully mobile. Like, I could, it was very strange. I think it was a ghost. It might have been a ghost. Have you felt anything weird before in your apartment? Good question. Ting in your pants.

Yeah, I mean, I've gotten some tingling. in my pants. Okay. Yeah. There's someone blowing on your face. Is this while watching Avatar, Fire and Ash? It's basically, yeah, well, watching Varong on this big screen. Yeah, I don't know.

I think the, I've never really experienced anything else like that. Had you been drinking that night? No. Sometimes that opens you up to more spooky situations. If I had, I'd had like a glass, but like I had like a glass of wine, but I was not like drunk. And I was, I had been asleep for, this was like the early morning. This was like 4 a.m.

So I'd been asleep for like, I'd go to bed early. So I'd been asleep for five or six hours at this point. Yeah. Most sleep paralysis demons don't like to take the job with Wigar. Like they're all kind of like, do you want to get? Like they don't want to deal with them. Like who wants to take them? Slender man's like, he creeps me out.

Like no one wants to go and take the Wiger case, right? When I have a sleep paralysis ghost, they look like a shadow version of grimace. Yeah. Like they're a little bit more like ambiguous. ambiguous and blob-like, but usually with limbs. Your sleep paralysis thing is a grimace? Yeah, but like with like a scary version, like a scary smile and like a weird, like weird eyes.

Sometimes they're like, they're, they just got more of a physicality, but yeah, there is a bulky person. Slender man meets the tender man. I like that. I wonder if sleep paralysis demons are like subconscious, you know, amalgamations of people in your life

who maybe bother you. That's possible. I mean, you know. If you had a third eye, where would you want it to be? Really good question. Here, like, middle of the forehead is like... I want to see behind me.

That's great call, Emma. This is the problem. And you could hide it with your hair, so that's kind of good, too. I could, like, part my hair and there's just, like, an eye on the back of my head. That's cool. That is cool.

The issue is, like, I feel like you'd get, that would get poke sometimes. And it would be, like, pretty... Especially with hair in front of it all the time. I feel like there's going to be instances when you're making involuntary. contact. It's where I have to keep it cut. But I guess you can just keep it covered.

Just get a little patch or bandana. Would you take the third eye? I don't know if I'd want it. I don't know if I'd want a third eye because what's the utility of a third eye? I mean like binocular vision feels like it accomplishes enough. If it could see other stuff, like if you closed your normalized in the third eye, could see like, you know. Peoples or is or something.

Yeah. Heat seeking or something. Oh, that's fine. Right. A different plane. Like that would be, you know, like some transdimensional entities. That would be. What if it was like a shit?

Sheath, it would like, like, when you want to use it as a, like, and then your eyes. Your forehead opens. Yeah, yes. What do you think of that? So that's, yeah, that's kind of a- Do you think you're too much of a freak at this point? That's kind of J.J.K., that's kind of due to Kaysen. It's just like sometimes the thing all open.

So I think the- I guess my question is, would you take a superpower at the risk of just being freaky? No, I wouldn't want to be a freak. Again, I'm too vain. But I'm saying you have the sheath power. Like, if you want, like, it's just like, and then it's there. So it's like a little foreskin. I could just like. Yeah, I guess it is like a foreskin.

Yes, you have an uncut eye. You have an uncut eye, yeah. And you could get it circumcised and have it just appearing at all times, I guess. Yeah, but no, I decide to, I like having the ability to sheath or unsheated. It also makes it, like, it retains more sensitivity. Ew. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you could.

And I mean, I'm circumcised, so I don't know if you can control it. yourself of the I don't, you can't normally control that skin. Yeah, it's not a muscle. Yeah, it's not a muscle. You'd have to be able to control it for it to like be cool. But this is opening whenever. How fucking, how cool of a trick though would that be if you were, if you could control it? Be like a little reveal. That's kind of fun. I think if you could, you might have to use your fingers to pry it apart, but I don't mind doing that's around your forehead. That's what I'm saying is you, you can actually control it. So I actually can do it. It's like, it's like an eyelid that's by default close. But I can

use the effort to open it. And it just, it just looks like your forehead. Yeah, I'd think I'd take that. So you would take it. But that would just be like almost like I don't know the utility of it except for like a freak show thing. Yeah, like what does it show me? Is it gonna like, do I only like see people's deaths with it? Like I don't want that. I guess on the back of your head is more of, that would be more of like, that is more of a superpower.

That gives you a larger field of vision. And it feels redundant here. What is it? What is it seeing that these two eyes aren't seeing, you know? Yeah. But if it's seeing, again, a different reality, then then it's just like, yeah, then perhaps. is, it's used to wear. So you're saying you're a little bit vain.

And, and, like, a super power. So, like, if it was just, you had a superpower, but it was on display all the time, you wouldn't take it. Here's a question. Like, I thought of this years ago, would you make your head twice as big to be twice as intelligent? You're talking about me? I'd say anyone.

What's the payoffs for me? I got a huge head. I'm not that smart. So if I double my head size, I'm like, like, normal, and I have a fucking huge head? Yeah, so that seems like a no. You look like a fucking Peanuts character. Yeah, I would.

look like a fucking Peanx. No, that wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do what he was. Wasn't that what it wasn't the guy? Didn't the guy have a big head? Oh, that was a cartoon. That was a cartoon with a guy with a big head. But then there was a guy with the big head.

There were two different ones. Yeah, there's Max Headroom who was like the, the jittery, like, CG guy. Yeah. And then there was. Marty McFly a Pepsi, I believe. That sounds right. And then. Marty asked for a Pepsi free.

And he said, oh, wait, no, that's a different guy. That's back in the past. He went to the, this is the issue. Marty went to the same place. He went to the same place. He went to the same places in the past and in the future and in the present, the present being 1980, whatever. So the, the, the, in my, in my exercise. You know that?

Yeah, it's just, your head, your head is doubled size, doubled in mass. But, but, yes, the head, the head was a guy. The head was like, the head was just like a, like a weird freak. He was, he was super smart. You guys are older than me, so. Yeah. We are. We're old as far.

I'm like 19 or something. Yeah. The head. The head. MTV. If you search the head. MTV. Oh.

A fun age, did you say? Yeah. Wow. This guy's head is awesome. It looks so funny. It was a big head. You had a huge head. It looks like a chicken.

It looks like a drumstick. Yeah. Wow. Cool. There you go. Well, there we go. Just learned about the head. Wait, what were we just talking about now?

Oh. The hypothetical. And I don't think anyone, very few people would say yes to that. Because it's just like, again, we, like your body defines so much of who you, how you're, you know, reacted to. And if you have a big old, like fucking giant bobblehead,

you just look like a freak, so it doesn't matter how intelligent you are. And perhaps that new level of intelligence lets you overlook that, or perhaps you being that intelligent, further adds to your existential woe, dealing with the fact that you're such an outlier. You kind of got a smaller head.

You could double you the head. Do you think of a smaller a head? You could double your head size. I think I have a regular head. Regular. Amelia, you could double your head size. I could double it. I don't think you should.

I'm not gonna. No, I don't think you should. Oh, you won't? I'm not gonna do it. Would you do the third eye? I would put it right above my asshole so I could see myself shit. It'd be hard to see yourself shit.

And also you give Scorpion the ability to see it too. Her dad loves seeing pictures that she says. They send pictures of shit to each other. He doesn't love seeing pictures of it. We just used to send each other photos a couple of times. This wasn't too regular. My dad and I would just talk about our shit, but this is sort of before cell phones had really awesome cameras.

You put the eye right above your asshole. Yeah, constant pink eye. Then you said treat the eye. Just remove the thing at some point. No. Hmm. What if it was like the they live glasses and it showed you like. That's fun.

That I'd love. That I'd want that. That's cool. I want that. Showed you aliens in the world. Is that what you're saying? Lizards, whatever. Whatever's out there.

I have no idea. What version of the world are we in that we can get this third eye? Change what signs, like, what they, how signs read and so on, you know? Yeah, advertisements, like, had secret hidden messages. I really, I really took us off track here because we were talking about a haunting that followed you home. I don't know where. Oh, you'd think, okay, so you stayed in the hotel first. And then this is, then what the woman came to you.

But it was, there was some time it passed. You know, famous, uh, ghost. in San Jose, the Mrs. Winchester. We didn't go to the Winchester house, so I wanted to. We didn't,

we didn't go there. Mrs. Winchester, this is the, the widow of the Winchester rifles. Yes. And who allegedly

was so haunted by the ghosts of people killed by her husband's weapons. I think your roast was that I have more stairs than the Winchester house or something.

She endlessly built, she kept building, adding to her house, I guess, to have more places for the ghost to go to? She said, just keep building, keep building. That's what her ghost says, apparently.

I was going to say, one, how do you know that, I guess? This is a question. You have seen the ghost, apparently. Well, I think that that was just always the thing where they're like, and then she just said, just keep building. I don't know if she's alive. That was like when she was dying or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Are you a tales from the crypt fan? All the tales from the crypts are now on Shutter. I've been watching some tales from the crypt. I'm going to watch some. I just watched one of a guy. who was racist or something? Is that track? Were you watching Do Bois episodes?

I forget it. I don't remember that. They're all just like Twilight zones basically, but spooky. They're kind of funny, too. They're fun, too, yeah. The Cryptkeeper's a lot. He's a blast. He's a good time.

How come we don't see any of those? How come we don't see the script? The scriptkeeper. The scriptkeeper. He's just thought of a new character. The scriptkeeper? Yeah. I'm actually.

the line was, I don't get no respect. Sounds like a character from like Harmon Quest. There's something like... God. The, the crypt, what were you saying? I don't see the cryptkeeper? What are we talking about? I was saying with your sleep paralysis,

it would be fun to see the cryptkeeper or something. That would be fun to see the cryptkeeper. Yeah, he's funny. What did the lady do? Sorry if you're like re-talking about this again. She was a stare at him, and then she walked weird. I'll talk about it endlessly. Yeah, she was...

She was seated. Mitch doesn't want to hear this. Is it too scary? I was scared by it. I was scared by it. I don't know why. I shouldn't have brought it up. Go surreal.

I'll give you this short version. She was seated in front of I'd fallen asleep on our couch. I was very, very tired. I'd fall asleep on our couch. I'd slept for about five or six hours. So you were sleeping mummy style, then I'm guessing. I was sleeping mummy style. Okay.

No, I was like, I kind of fell asleep like this, seated up, and then I woke up. I moved to like a side sleep slash back sleep sort of, you know, lying down position on the couch. Because there's plenty of room to stretch out. We get sectional. You know, I'm pretty happy with that couch. Anyway, we'll talk about this some other time. So I'm... Sounds nice.

It is a nice couch. It was one, like, it was a great purchase. We got a lot of use out of it. It's been, been with us for 10 plus years. Three different apartments. It's a great couch. Anyway, so I'm lying down on this couch. and I wake up and it's like there's there's some you know ambience light coming in from the windows behind me

but it's it's still like very dark it's not the sun is not risen yet it's still like you know again it's like 4 a.m or something like that maybe 5 a.m it's somewhere in that range I see directly in front of me because I've got an eyeline right to our front door and seated in a chair that does not exist, like a wood chair that does not exist. Wait, there was a ghost chair? Yeah, it was a ghost chair. That was part of it.

I didn't realize there was a ghost chair. There was a ghost chair, yeah. Because I thought it was one of our chairs, and later was like, oh, that chair is not, that's a chair that looks different than anything we have. It looks like some old chair. A chair that you sat in and your fat ass broken, it's come back to hump you.

That's so funny me. I actually also didn't realize it was a ghost chair. Wait, I thought, I didn't know. I thought it was a real chair. house. No, it was a ghost chair. You have a fucking ghost chair? I guess so. I don't know. Or maybe they were just like, they were just squatting, but it looked

like there was a chair underneath them. And they had like these red robes looked feminine. I couldn't tell if it was like a small woman or a girl. Face was completely in shadow. And like very... She turned around. One eye right above

her ass. Like these flowing red robes with like a little bit of white feet drifted off into, you know, just just a nothingness. And then I was just looking at it. And it was just like looking back at me and we just had this prolonged like kind of stare down. At a certain point, I was just like, I'm just going to try to sneak out of here. So I just kind of started to like got off the couch. And it wasn't, this was not sleep paralysis. Got off the couch and he sort of tiptoed towards the bathroom. And when I moved, the ghost moved to, stood up and walked to a corner and then was just sort of like spasming out towards the corner.

Yeah, it was really... The way you're doing is very Charlie Chapliny, so it's almost... That's so scary. Yeah, it was very strange. It would be funny if just the ghost chair came back a bunch now. I keep trying to sit in it. It's just a clear chair, like, floating in your room. It kind of sounds like that nice.

Kate Bush music video for Weathering Heights. Have you seen that? No. She's wearing big red robes and sort of moving. Oh, wow. Did you just have the TV on? Did you just have the TV on? You know what? I had BH1 on.

Oh, shit. It was like, it was Kate Bush week. Wait, why were you sleeping on the couch? You in the dog house? Woof, love. I'm going to be starving. No, I was just so tired. I was so tired.

I was sitting there and I was like, had my laptop open and just like fucking fell asleep. on the couch and then Nellie didn't bother me and I just woke up a tour in the morning. That's good she wasn't wearing a white, white robes or white dress because that means that somebody's going to die soon. Wow. Well, there's some white on it.

And the red may mean something. I don't fucking know. Maybe she was just like a Canadian woman or something. Probably a Canadian woman. We were also in Canada at a certain point, Mitch. That's true. Maybe this Canadian ghost followed us to this haunted hotel in San Jose

set up shop there for a little bit and then decided to come back and visit me when you have the TV

on and you see a chair on the TV do you think it's a ghost chair? That's not a real chair freaking ghost chair

on TV You are a dog parent Yeah Let's get some dog details Uh kind of looks like Jemmy is

she You know she's a mix She's a mutt She's a potcake dog Like I told you guys earlier

Potkick dog Which means in the Caribbean, they call them pot cake dogs because they eat the bottom of the rice pot. Like, they leave the rice pot outside for these dogs to come in. They eat the life. Yeah. Her name's Penny. She's really cute. Here's an interesting picture of her from when we were in.

Ah, look at Penny. She's so cute. She's kind of got a night of the dummy thing going on. Oh, she's so cute. Yeah. That is very jemmy, Jason. We should put that photo on the screen. Oh, yeah.

In the video. In the video. And sort of this is me And sleeping in the car with her Where she looks like she's been kidnapped Aw, how about that? Yeah That's adorable

Very cool Yeah I like her a lot Every time I think about her I cry Does Jen, that's very sweet Does Penny like any snacks in particular? Cheese Loves cheese

Fish stuff Antovies Okay She likes seaweed Okay Big seaweed head Licks of peanut butter. There you go.

And, you know, and the like. She'll eat anything, I don't know. She's a food bitch. You know what? I'm a food bitch. Yeah, I was just going to say, she'd fit in real nice here. We almost called doughboys food bitch. We did.

It was food bitch, doughboys are side of guys. Those are the finalists. Side of guys is pretty good. Side of guys was close. This podcast would not still be going if it was side of guys. Are you sure? I think we'd be on the. fully right wing podcast.

Yeah, we'd be on the Barstool Network. Side of guys, I just can't exist. I just can't imagine an existing if it was called Side of Guys. We'd have a totally different logo. The past 10 years of our lives would be completely different if we were Side of Guys.

That one level, what a sliding doors moment. Emma and Amelia might not work for the podcast. I would never work for a show called Side of Guys. It would have been Eric and Andy or something. Yeah, there'd be a bunch of dudes back here. No, let's look in Eric and Andy. I sound pretty qualified. Probably could be paid

like 30% more apiece. Now we've heard the allegations against Eric and Andy and we don't believe them. Don't care also. More importantly, we don't give a shit. That's the main thing. I would say earlier my husband did have

a head gum network podcast called Chicken Podmijan, which I think is a good name for a podcast. But I think it was just a little too long and I think side of guys would have suffered for the same thing. His last name sounds like paccata like chicken paccata.

There was a lot of foods. We are not, Weiger and Mitchell, there's not a lot of food, there's no food puns with our names. Yeah, what could you do food wise with us? Spotted Dick Wiger. Spotted Dick Wiger. I guess you could do spotted dick Wiger.

Sure, if you get the first name in there. You pulled that so quick. That's what I'm here for. Huh. Hey, that's what I'm here for. Don't forget the hay. Oh, hey. That's what I'm here.

Spotted Dick Wiger and FoodBinch Mitchell? Food bitch, Mitch, Mitchell? Why didn't you just say we're food? We are fruit bitches. Food bitchel. I mean, you also, you've got like the Mitchell is adjacent to Winchell, which is like a donut chain. Winchell, Oscar Miger. Oscar Miger.

Oscar Miger is pretty good. All right, we'll go with Oscar Miger. It's pretty damn good. You want to do something with Mike Mitchell and bite Mitchell or? Bite Mitchell is pretty good. Bite Mitchell. I might use. Bite Mitchell. Not bike Mitchell. Ew. Is that weird? I don't like that sound. Is that a bad sound? I think people, I think some people won't like it. I guess it is teeth on teeth. Do you want more enemies? Yeah, people are not going to like that. We're sorry. We're sorry. You have really straight teeth, though. Thank you.

They line up really well. Were you a braces kid? I was a braces kid. I was a braces kid. I was a brace face, yeah. A little, I was, I was, I was, I was brace face too. I will say one of the things with the brace face is, it did correspond with my, with my acne phase, so it was fine, whatever.

But like I, like, I, like. Sounds like you were a nerd country, my man. Very much so. I had big glasses. Zit, I, I had a lot of, but I had Star Wars T-shirts. But anyway, I'm just being told that you want some people back, the big ass. I, um, but you feel like, you know, sometimes it's just like, my teeth are maybe a little too straight, you know?

Yeah, give me a little crooked. It's like I feel like they don't have any character. You just kind of like the, you know. Your teeth look naturally great. They just kind of felt. No braces ever on those, huh? Really good. Wow, you're lucky.

Because I was braces pretty late. I feel like it was eighth grade. Yeah, eighth grade. And then like in my freshman year, I think I had them. Not fun. I wanted braces and glasses so. bad when I was little and I never got any of those. Wow. You still get 20-20 vision? No, no, it's pretty bad.

Are you what your contacts wear? No, I wear, I wear glasses, but just not right now. Periodically. Nighttime. I have a stigmatism. Oh, yeah, me too. The light, when the lady pops up in my room in the little night, I can't see her too good because the light behind her is. Yeah. I got LASIC years ago. How is that? It's a, it's quite a, It's quite a procedure, but I'm really happy with it. Some people have complications. So that's the thing. I will say, like, there were two people I reassured in advance of the procedure, and they both had complication.

Really? Both? I felt so guilty about it. But I was just like, you know, like, if you go to the good person, it's like one out of one thousand. Can I tell you who one of them was? Stevie Wonder. Do you know who the other one was? Who?

Ray Charles. I knew it. I knew they were blind because of. LASIC. Yeah, if you watched Ray, you remember that scene where WIRE goes, hey, you should get LASIC, buddy,

and then Ray goes blind. We really don't have... Who's playing you in that movie? That did the dummy from the book. The Night of the Living Dumbie with Nick Weggard. We don't have, we really don't have another famous blind person since Stevie Wonder,

like Andrea Bacheli, I guess, the opera singer. Yeah. The governor from New York That one time. Was he a governor? Who Fred Armisen would play? I know what you're talking about.

We don't have another famous dummy since the Night of the Living Dummy. I mean, Muppets aren't dummies, though. Who is the guy who was the famous comedian who had the dummy and he's in in the? Jeff Dunham? Dunham is the, Donham's got some big puppets. He's got dummies.

Those are dumbies. Those are dummies. And so does the, who's that guy, Terry Fator? Oh, yeah. He's like a big Vegas act. Who's an America's got talent guy, I believe. That's just that world is just, that's, It's done, right?

People love that. No, but Muppets I get. Yeah. But dummies, I'm saying dummies. Dumbies will be around forever. Dumbies are hard because it's like, it's people. It's not like animals. Yeah.

And they're, I feel like wooden. Like that's to me, it's like a dummy is wooden, right? That's a, like we're doing there. Like doll man from Death Stranding too. You have wooden teeth? What are you saying? No, I do not have wooden teeth. I'm saying that noise.

Like, you know, that noise. You fucking George Washington ass? I'm not George Washington ass Two hundred fifty years, Weig's. Wow. That's all George. It's all George. We love him.

I can't believe he came bad. He's bad. There's some bad stuff. It's bad. Don't investigate what actually was going on with his teeth. That's what I was going on with his teeth. Oh, yeah. Our heads were in the same place, unfortunately.

Bad man. A bad, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a bad apple. But he took it to them Brits. So we love him. Have you guys ever gone across the pond for Doe Boys? No. I'd never cross an ocean until. We did not do Doe Brubs.

Oye, we're Doe Bruves. Come on, that's enough to go. Get off the stage, you tossers. Boy, broves is fun. We, no, I'd never crossed an ocean until this year. I took my first trip out of across, you know, You did go to Hawaii when you were younger. I went to Hawaii when I was younger.

So I guess that counts. To me, you're not completely, but you're just in the middle of the ocean. You're not completely crossing an ocean. So I didn't go to a different continent until this year. And I went to Japan. And I had a lovely time, but I was just very anxious about the flight. I love Japan.

Japan's cool. I went recently. I went last year. Where did you go? Tokyo. Yeah, Tokyo is great. So cool. So fun.

Unless you say we might be going to Shrek's hometown soon enough. The bog? Yeah, we're going to the bog. I'm planting the seeds What Shrek's That's not a real It's like a real place

It's like fantasy land It's a fantasy land We're talking about Scotland You fool Shret I think he just had that accent He has an accent He's not in

Lord Farquod Isn't like the king of Scotland Yeah Has Shrek never been to Scotland? I think Shrek moved I think he moved to fantasy land It's a fantasy land It's a fantasy land

It's like medieval It's like medieval time No none of the other Shrek people Have that accent Well one is Fiona and she turned into a Shrek. Yeah, but she's got like an American accent. She sounds like Cameron Diaz.

Also from Long Beach College High School. I'm saying she wasn't a Shrek. Is there, are there more Shrek people? Or I thought it was just Shrek. There's got to be. Yeah, but he made those with Fiona. And they don't have accents either. But she's, she's not from, he's the Scottish ogre.

But he probably moved from Scotland to Fantasyland or whatever. Trek moved? Yeah. No one else from that accent? Trek move from Scotland? Shrek move. No, I think what we're running into is like, you know, Alec Guinness speaking with a British accent in Star Wars

or like, like Ian McKellen speaking with a British accent in Lord of the Rings. No, but I'm saying like that, like the accent just as a signifier of like status or class in that context. It doesn't mean they're actually like, oh, that person's from Britain because they sound like that, you know. Or it's just a choice of like, hey, everyone's going to speak in the same accent. accent to at least have some sort of coherence. See, I disagree with you here. I think that Shrek is Scottish

and he's moved. He's had to a... He's not from Scotland. He's from Scotland and he moved. Amelia's on my side here. Can we get some context on the Shrekopedia? Because I'm sure there's some fans have figured out this. His Genesis. Or it's been documented in

some like a novel or something like that. And don't submit me into the Shrekopedia, please. I don't want to be put in the fucking Shrekoppedia. Are you Shrek fan? Um, Great question. Yeah, I am. I like Shrek. I never saw any of the spinoffs, so I never saw the cat one.

Puss and Boots is the last wish, the most reasoned one is great. People say that. We had a birthday boy sketch for Shrek. Did you read? That's right. That's right. It says Shrek's swamp is in the fairy tale land of Dulac. Right, yeah, but I guess before. Is Shrek from that swamp?

That sounds Scottish. That's took over the role from Chris Farley and re-recorded all. Yeah, we know this. We know this. Then he changed his mind and he realized that if Lord Farquod was posh in English, then Shrek, the hero, should be working class in Scottish. Sure, yeah. So he's not from Scotland.

It doesn't mean that he's from Scotland. It's just a status signifier. He moved. He moved. He moved. He moved. He got on a bus and decided to move. The whole thing is he's in the swamp, which is like this is his swamp, right?

Like that's where he lives in this. We don't know how old he is either. Yeah, we don't know how old he is. I think he's like 38. No, what? Can we find, is Shrek's age and Shrekoppedia? I always love looking that sort of thing up when you find out like Sonic the Hedgehog is canonically 15. Yeah.

Really? Mario's like 30. Are you like him, Fiona, pre or post transformation? I mean, here's the thing. You want to be woke and say you like the Shrek. Freckified Fiona. But if I'm, if I'm being honest, I like the regular Fiona. You like the regular Fiona?

I like the inside because that's what counts. Oh, yeah, I guess. That's the lesson of the story. We forgot. According to the Wiki, he is, Shrek is 30 and Shrek and Shrek 2. And in Shrek the third, he's 32. And it's Shrek forever after he's 34. Wow.

I was close. Wow. That's a hard 30. Decade younger than me. Perfect. He lives in a bog. Like. Yeah, okay.

That's fair. I don't have a bog. He farts in the mud. Yeah, that's gross. Sounds fun. I got the same question for you, Amelia. And Clara, also, if you want to answer this question, Shrek pre or post-st-st-

Oh, I love human Shrek. Okay, so everyone is, everyone likes to the game. I guess the lesson didn't work. No one likes the Shrek. No one likes the Shrek. Human Shrek, they did make hunky. They did make him hunky, it's true. Human.

I'm waiting on my transformation. Oh yeah, would do But like I like that he's big I like that he's just like a big burly guy I don't like his hair though I kind of wish he was bald You'd go for bald Because isn't Shrek bald

Yeah I mean I'm weird with that hair I guess they're giving him the hair to kind of be like You know It does look good This is this is a I think if we're just going by convention than a lot of people when they're who are attracted to men

prefer a fuller head of hair so that may be why they're just like we just want to make a classic honk you know. So you like, you like Shrek when he's transformed is transformed into, for him post transformation is

human Shrek. Human Shrek. I bet his dick is bigger as Shrek though. Interesting. I think it's smaller. Whoa. I think it gets big end when he turns into a human.

You think his dick is bigger as a human as opposed to an ogre? Here's the thing. The first off... Yeah, let me... Okay, go ahead. First off, he, like, becomes hot. And part of that is, like, like,

and he's got a hanger. You know what I mean? Like, he's, like, he's fucking hot. So you're saying that he's... When he's Shrek, his dick is also smaller? I think there's that. It's, like, small and green, but then also, like, because he's...

Small and small. It's like... He's crankier, too, when he's green, Shrek. He's crankier. And then... It could be because he has a small dick. Okay.

It's also, even if it's the same size, it will, he is like slimmer. He's like a different, like a more slender build when he's human Shrek, so it will just naturally look bigger. It'll look bigger. Look, as a man who's lost 50 pounds, that I don't do shit. I got a little, my Shrek dick hasn't

changed at all. Do you think you lost weight from your dick? Is that part of the issue? It might be the issue. I shouldn't be injecting Zep on there. Wikes, is there a change? This does bring us into our conversation on food. Wow.

Is there, with his nutting? Is there a difference between a human Shrek nut? Are Shrek's nuts green? That's a good question. I think they're probably green because we do know that the jizz is the color of skin. Now why do we know that? It's the thing that always happens and it's like the classic joke that's like, like, oh, I feel like Smurf just like a fucking smurf just jizzed on my face because you got blue on your face. It's like, well, yeah, but the thing is like, like, cum isn't the same color as your fucking skin.

It's not going to have blue cum. A strex not going to have a green cum. It's just going to, it will be the same color as cum. Does any animal have a different color come? I only know one test, and it's myself, and I have not, and I, and it does, actually, it's kind of yellowish. I think it's a little more. That's not good. You okay?

It's fine. Is that just piss? Oh, I'm talking piss. I'm thinking of piss. It's not clear. It's not like the, a. like a icing we got today for instance. Right.

It's not like the icing. That's a good way to roll back it. It's a very, very, very white icing. That's a great segue, Mitch. This isn't a good story, but I do want to say. Yeah. I was masturbate. Oh, whatever.

I was, I just feel, whatever. I was, I was masturbating. Okay. And Wally. Leave this story so far. Wally opened the door to the bathroom and he looked over at me and like, because I heard the door open and he looked at me masturbating. And then he turned around and left.

He's never done that. before I was like, did he know? Did he like know that I was... Has he caught you jacking out before? Wally has never caught me jacking out. He was probably confused by what you were doing. He likes to get in the shower when you shower, doesn't he? Or he watches the shower?

He watches me shower. Maybe he thought you were about to go shower. I wasn't, no, I was in the shower. I was in the shower was going. Oh, so you were jacking off in the shower. I thought you were sitting on the toilet. I was picturing you sitting on the toilet. I was not sitting on the toilet.

Mitch, no, Mitch's routine is that generally that he's gone over this with us countless times. He stands outside of the shower. I've heard the pod. He stands outside of the shower, the shower is off, and then he jacks off while standing into the shower. Well, excuse me for conserving water. But you just said you were, you jacking up as you were taking a shower. Yes, this time I was. That's unusual behavior for you.

It's a little break from protocol. So, Wolling was trying to come in for shower time because he likes to hang out for shower time, and he was like, oh, shit. Daddy's hurting himself. That feels dangerous to me. Daddy's hurting himself as the saddest thing I've ever hurt my life. If you're coming onto the shower floor before you walk into the shower,

there's a good chance that you'll slip on your own come in the shower. That's like the end of a tales from the cryptic. Exactly. Since Mitch's cause of death slipped on his own load. S-O-L. Yeah. That load was his last.

That's the crypt paper. His last load. Guess he couldn't handle that heavy load. We'll see you next jizz on Tales from the Jiz. See, it's really funny like that. You gotta watch it. It is fun. Anyway, all that matters is Shrek's cum probably tastes different.

A human cum taste. It probably tastes different. It's a little yellow. It's a little yellow. If I'm going off of... You're quiet for so long and then we hear you pipe in for... Every depiction I've seen of Shrek naked, he is hung like a fucking horse and his cum is white. Okay, good to know.

So what? He must taste crazy. The ogre's diet is got to make for some crazy cum. I don't know if you can trust fan arts because usually fan art proportions are exaggerated. Yeah, we need dream works to draw this. Like I've seen Luigi with a hanger, you know. I've seen like they'll do it for anyone. What is it touching print?

Oh, yeah. I was thinking about that. Catching print. They should have that for pussies. Well, they do. It's camel toes. Camel to, I think we've got to update. Catching toes or like peeping

sleet or something. Peeping slit is good. Peeping slit is good. Cipping slit is good. Cushing snitch is so awful. Catching snatch. Catching snatch. Those these are all.

Snatching slit. Smashing Slit? Seeing sliz. Seeing slis. This sounds like British slang all of those fucking tossers. Slag. Yeah, I don't know, because I think we need to, that would be the real equality amongst the gender. I feel like catching print, catching slit, they kind of go together.

It's like, already catching print, sorry, with tits. Yeah, that's the, we were saying that catching print is like evening. Well, just like, you could. Tits in general. Just in general, people are like, oh, she's got big tits or she's got tall tits. You can see a woman's. body more obviously. The catching print levels the playing

field already. Because catching print is basically just trying to gauge size at a glance, which again can be deceptive. It depends on what sort of undergarment you're wearing. It could be all ball. It could be all ball. It could be a big bunch of cloth under there. It could be someone with a hanger who's like it's nice and

tucked away because that's just what they're like one of the boys need a house. The man's right. The boys need a house. You're choosing into the shower before you walk I don't agree with this practice I think it's cool that that's what you do but I've never heard of anything like that

This was different and you made me feel really bad about Wally Saying dad's hurting himself or whatever the fuck you said I don't know what he was thinking But he's probably a little confused It's like having pets Like Jemmy's seen things that like You know it's part of just like having a pet They see you naked

And I like it Jimmy I've seen him I'd like to see some more James Jimmy You horny southern bell. Do you kick your cats out of the room before you change?

Yeah, my cats have never seen me nude. I can't see that sort of thing. I actually had to change in one of the headgum bathrooms because I just like I had, I brought it, like I was wearing a different set of clothes for work. And I saw, Gemmy was just peeping in through a crack. Don't mind me. It's all bald.

I knew it. You could do that. What's that? You can tattoo, you can make it a bone and two tennis balls. I tattoo a bone and two, like, over my... On the dick? Like, make a dick tattoo of a bone and ball tattoos of two tennis balls? Who's that for?

For some sort of dog. For some sort of dog. For every time I show my dick to a dog. That'll come in here. Andy. Hey, buddy, this episode is brought you by booking.com. Life throws chaos at us, but a photo, memory, or conversation can make you feel that pull for a change of scenery.

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Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And it's about the journey. It's what you do along the way. You know, sometimes I say, well, we're doing an Appalachian doughboys tour. And I got to book a place. We get there. What is this? Cabin I booked. A spider in every room? Yeah. I didn't want a spider in every room. You certainly did not want that spider in every room in that cabin in Appalachia.

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Founded in 1960 in Ipsilante, Michigan by Tom Monaghan and his brother Jim Monaghan. Mitch, we previously had Joe Quasarano on. This was back in 2017, a father of our friend Alexis Quaserano, who did a very nice quote for our comic book. It was very, very sweet of her. But Joe was the pizza cook at the OG location Dominix, who's the third ever worker at the original Domino's, which was called Dominics before it was renamed. It is now the largest pizza chain in the world. So we witnessed it from the ground up.

And it is 93% owned by Bain Capital. So that's great. I love Bain Capital. They're one of my favorite private equity firm. Bain Capital is one of my favorite sketch groups. Honestly, that's a good name for a sketch group. Does it be Bain Capital? That's pretty good.

Domino, we were just talking about Japan. They're closing 172 stores in Japan. They just don't, I guess it's just not tracking over there. That's just from, that's just happened as of last year. Actually, Japanese pizza is. is, like, there's, like, there's some, like, very fancy pizza places over there where they... I didn't have any Japanese, any pizza in Japan, but my understanding is that there are, like, there's, like, some excellent, like, you know, like, like, equivalent to the kind of pizza you'd get an Italy, uh, pizza in the town in Japan. Yeah, I was going to say, there's, there's, like, one super famous place in Japan, I believe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have that thing where, I forget it was called, not tapagnaki, but it's, like, the thing where it's, like, you just dump a bunch of things you make a big pancake. Like, I like I, Izacaya. Oh, no, no, that, that, that, yes, I know what that is, but, but, um. It's, God, what the fuck is I called? Sukiaki, what is it? Yeah, something like that. Something like that.

Anyway, I did not have that on this visit. Yeah, that's sort of pizza-eat to me. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun. It's neither of those. I just got the... Is it the Okonimaki? Okoniyanak.

Something like that. Suki-yaki is here. Yeah, Sugiyaki is something, but it's not that. Thank you. They love you. Do that. Have you been to Japan? You said?

I'm sorry. Yeah, just to Tokyo. Cool. It was so cool and the food was so good. Food is fantastic. And everyone was nice and is so clean. Yeah. But then they don't have any trash cans on the streets.

He's got to use to it. Well, to me it's a worthwhile tradeoff for not seeing. Wiger thinks I wouldn't be able to live over there because of that. Here's the thing. You always got trash on you? I'd never have trash. I did. Amelia's thrown it all the way before I can fucking do it myself.

Tosser. You took this personally. I was just saying it was something about the country that was an adjustment while it was... Hey, I take everything personally. That's my secret. I fucking take everything first. Oh, shut up. It's true.

No, it's not. Yes, it's true. You have a knack for taking a comment or observation and then internalizing it into somebody was like attacking you personally. Oh, shut the fuck up. When you called me the tosser, or when I was tossing stuff, I was like, I was like, oh yeah, I guess I do, like, throw things out. Like, I guess I donate, like, clothes a lot, too. Like, I don't like having a lot of stuff.

I frequently give stuff away. And you were like, oh, so this is a comment about hoarding or, like, that I don't give stuff away? I was like, me. She was talking about herself doing something. You were like, you must be talking shit about me right now, like, fart. She knows I'm a hoarder. I got to get, you got to help me unhored. I would love to.

Let's do it. I'm good at unhording. Oh, man. Extracurricular time with Amelia. I don't know if I could have. fucking handle it. I'm going to be a fucking menace. If you could help me organize my garage, I would.

It would be a dream come true. I love organizing stuff. Are you okay with me just throwing it away? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. This is the issue. The issue is no. Okay.

So you have to organize. You can't throw away. Just organize what's there. Yeah. That's probably what it is. And then once it's organized, like it would be easier to go through, I feel like. You might need some new shelving or boxes or something. I think that is what I think.

that's a product. I've done pretty good the last... Well, yeah, hey, we've done more working on it. Yeah, yeah. It's an easy thing to do. Your cats are still alive, so that's good. My cats are, my cats are only 10. They got, hopefully they have a long time to go.

Hey, they made it 10 years before being traumatized by watching their owner masturbate. Daddy's hurting himself. I'm not going to go home and find any notes from Wally. Don't worry. I'm just say I feel like hoarders always end up like they have so much stuff that they forgot about their cats. and then the pile of bones. Oh, that's what you would, yes, you know, 100%.

Or they start hoarding animals, which is its own, like, sad thing. Which I wish I could do. Oh, that was so fun. The last time we did Domino's, we, with Too Scary Don't Watch, it was five forks all around. So it is canonically in the Platinum Plight Club. And I'm curious, Claire, because we're revisiting it largely because of the existence of slice sauce, which is a new sauce that is creamy and zesty with a hint of Parmesan. but we also tried some other items that we'd not had previously.

Where are you on Domino's? Domino's, the only food I've ever purchased through an app. Like, only fast food I've ever purchased through an app because the app was really good. Great app. I like the interface, really fun and easy. You can watch your guy sort of on his way to give you his big pizza. What else is in the news of Domino's? I don't know, but typically, like I haven't used the app in years and years until this morning.

I looked at it just to see what was going on and it's still popping off. The pizza tracker. The app has actually been updated recently, I noticed. Really? It's been updated. The pizza tracker was actually an outgrowth of, if you remember that the campaign from 10, 15 years ago, something like that where it was like the CEO of Domino's or president of Domino's being like, this can't happen.

Domino's needs to improve our quality. Like he was just basically saying like everything that was wrong with Domino's and reading customer reviews of like one star. Domino's pizza tastes like crap. We're going to make it taste better. And it was like a wildly successful campaign, but one thing that came out of is that they really improved their digital ordering system. You should do that with this podcast, maybe.

We've tried to pull the Domino's thing multiple times. It just doesn't work. Burger King is currently doing the Domino's thing. Have we ever read a bunch of, that was probably a bad thing to do, read one-star reviews or read the most downvoted Reddit comments or something like that? We should read Fartnocker 69. What's his name? Fartnocker 69.

Yeah. I just made that up. I know it's made up. It's Bartonker 69. That's the guy. Patreon does exit interviews where people can write why they cancel their Patreon. That's good. That's good.

I recently read a comment about myself on Reddit about the podcast I'm on. It's just like, ever since they added Claire, the show's gone downhill. She's so not funny. She bugs the shit out of me. I can't stand listening to her. She's clearly very funny.

We're having a blast, you fucking idiot. Bitch. Bartonachra 69. Also, you were saying that I take everything, People are going to get mad at me. It's just not... We can cut it out.

That's you taking it. This is also taking it personally. I know, but I'm sad. I'm defeated this year. What do you want for me? I'm not defeated? You're doing great. I don't take everything personally.

It's all the comeback. It's July 9th. The country is coming back from a horrific thing that happened five days ago. We're all restarting. We're all trying to pick up the pieces. We lost a lot of good guys. Thanks God, she's okay, though. Thank God she's and those things.

Sounds like a firework Was a firework accident Wait, I mean like I don't think I don't think the The audience wants us to relitigate it at this point They don't want to relive it They've watched it so many times in the news I'm gonna be so pissed if something does happen

In this episode doesn't come out But those things You keep saying those things for this lady I'm thinking I'm talking about her But that's what I say It sounds like those are the only things that survive That would be funny if those survived and then they like encased them and put them in the Smithsonian or whatever. Like Lenin's corpse just like perfectly preserved like pair of knockers.

Fuck, those are good tits. Yeah, yeah, quite a pair. Trying to figure out if there is anyone who matches that description in the current administration. I can't think of one tit. I can't think of a single tit in the current. Do you think Dolly's Tartin's tits will like be in a museum when she passes away? That's a great question. She'll probably do like a bust.

Yeah, a bust. A bust of her bust. Yeah. Oh, God. That's fun. Mitch, you're going to do cast mold of your hog? For the Museum of Minatures. I want to see a diorama of Wallywalking.

And you have to use up a little. We'll put it in Little Canada, watch. Oh, Little Canada is so cool. Isn't Little Canada the best? They just put a Nirvana, the movie, the band thing in there. Wow, I got to see it. Go see Little Canada when you're in Canada. The best is Toronto.

It's so great. I know. Absolutely charming. Nick and Mitch's little characters are behind you on that shelf from Little Canada. Hi. Hi, Claire. You guys kind of look covered in so. That's so cool.

I love it. Emma says over there by Mitch. Emma's lost an arm. I lost an arm. Did you say we look covered in soot? Yeah, you do. It was a picture of us from Ground Zero, I believe. I was going to make that joke, but I decided it was too.

And I did it. All right, we'll cut me saying that joke. Yeah, we'll keep it. Worst things have been said already. It's true. So we got the... What do you think of soot? Ground Zero is the first place you think of.

What is next? Chimneys with Santa? Yeah, I was thinking of chimney with Santa. That was the first thing I thought of. What's his face from Mary Poppins? Yeah, right, right. Chimney sweet. Yeah, the chimney sweep.

Chim chimney, chimony, chimony. Chimini. I believe his name was Chimini. Chimini. That's another brick thing. They're always saying chim chimini. You should go to Scotland. Scotland's so cool.

Glasgow's really cool. They'd really like you guys. Wait, what song were we singing in? Not chim chim chimedeminy. What were we singing a song? What? Flynn. I was singing chim chim chimony two days ago.

Is that what you're referring to? Oh, no. That's weird. Yeah, I thought that we were. Yeah, I thought that we were singing a song. When were we singing? I don't know. My brain doesn't work anymore.

We need to cut this out. Before we started recording? That's what I thought in the kitchen. We were singing a song in the kitchen. That just reminded me. I don't remember a song we were singing in the kitchen, so maybe it was before I landed. Okay, all right. Two days ago I was singing chim chim chim chim chim chim chim, that maybe that is what it is.

I like and I like what I did. This is, we're recording too much now. We've been recording too much. It's just a little binge. we're fine. We're almost on the other side of it. We're having a great time. You got so far ahead that's crazy.

Yeah, it's wild. Wow. It was by necessity. We like to record closer to the day, so we're not talking about shit from, you know, before the incident happened and really dating our episode. But logistically,

we had some people are going to be out of town at different times. Right. We're just covering ourselves. I hope the aliens come. I would love for the aliens to come, and I would love for them to be benevolent. Yeah, I think they would be.

And then we fucking shoot them. Yeah. And use their tech. Well, they're already like poking in our assholes all the time. See, that's the thing that, like, when people talk about, like, alien abductions and stuff, a lot of that is just like, you know, that is just hallucinatory. That is just, like, dream states or sleep paralysis, I feel like. Be me up, Mr. Alien. Jimmy.

She must get poked in her asshole. Oh. Oh, yeah. We shouldn't say that about her. She doesn't like that. Yeah, I don't know if they'd accomplish anything by probing. I think it's more, maybe more people are experienced than that, and then it's just because it becomes, it's massively circulated.

But then I don't know. I don't fucking know. I mean, I do, I am like, I am, like, is the Fermi paradox? What is it that's like? You can freak those aliens out with that third eye if they were, if they probed you. That would probably be normal to them. Yeah. That's a good point.

Yeah. You think other species have eyes about their assholes. I think just other species just know everything. Okay, that's fair. Yeah, I think you're right. You think, you think you'll see an alien, you think, you think that there will be alien, earthling communications about before you die? No.

Yeah. Really? Yeah, probably not. I feel like they probably happened. I feel like they probably have happened, yeah, but you just will never hear about it. Well, that's what I mean. Like, if it's not public knowledge, then it does, then it effectively hasn't happened. Yeah.

Isn't Trump, like, trying to make it happen, though? like keeps trying to be like aliens are real to like distract for everything. Yeah, I mean like whatever. It's just like it's all, everything's a faint to get away from Epstein and it's working and he'll be president forever. It's fine. It's fine.

Yeah, it's fine. So we got the cheese with Parmesan stuffed crust. We got the spinach and feta with handmade pan crust and we got the, um, uh, an Italian sausage with green peppers, onions on the thin cream. So those were our Zaz.

Let's start with a pizza. Well, these pizzas are pretty fucking good. Well, because I agree. I was surprised by this. Spinich and feta was your choice, Claire. And I was surprised by that one, but I was like, I'm having a good time. It was fucking good. And pan, whatever, hand-tossed?

Hand-made pan-crest. Hand-made pan-crest. They're not doing that typically in-house. The pan-crests, I believe, are prepared in advance. I don't think we got any crust that were prepared in-house. I think those are all ones that arrive frozen. The hand tossed is the one that they do in house. Nice.

The crust was so fluffy and good. There was a great amount of feta and whatever other cheese. And there were some onions, but it wasn't too onion-y. No, yeah, nicely balanced. Yeah, it wasn't too much spinach. I was thinking, what am I in my in Mekanos right now? Am I in some shitty podcast studio in Mekinoos? Where am I in freaking Mekinos?

What's going on here? What's going on here? I couldn't imagine a place like, headgum studios exists in mechinos but probably not in mechinos yeah yeah but it felt like uh it felt like a nice this greek pie was uh was delightful why because i was enjoying it felt like we were in mechanos it did feel like we were in mechinos it's what i was thinking mechinos i thought the italian sausage green peppers and onions i mean this is like a solid like this is one of your go-to combos mitch and but i like their thin crust i will get

their thin crust all the time that was good easier eat just a halt you can you can and speak Speaking of meconos, you said this has a weird texture to it. You were like, it has an interesting texture to it. And I said it's almost like Spanacopana. Yeah, super thin. Super thin. Crunchy. Light crunch.

Like crunch on the bottom of it. My two favorite styles of pizza there, I've said this a million times, is thin crust and the pan pizza, which was the spinach fed of pizza. So we got those two. And we also got the stuffed crust. Here's the thing. And I've said this before. I've never, I'm never wild by stuffed crust. When I was a kid and there's stuffed crust

And that was a novelty I was like so excited to get stuff crust And even as a kid I was kind of like This isn't that good You know what I mean? It's just like is the issue that it's unga-pachka Is the issue that it's too much cheese? Gilding the lily

Yeah, it's gilding the lily It's a hat on a hat. It's a hat on hat. Or is the issue that you get You're getting a better proportion of cheese And sauce and bread With the actual bites of pizza And then when you get the stuffed crust

It's like This is just not this is just not as good As actually just eating the pizza itself I don't know Still still a novelty to me in a way that is, it's surprising. I like getting that hot white in my mouth and an unexpected moment. And just like, I don't know, something about it.

It's just really overwhelming sensation because I never eat stuffed crust pizza. Yeah. I would say perhaps I've never had stuff crust pizza until today. It's not a thing I ever order except for content. Yeah. Because it's always disappointing. I felt it was a little disappointed today. I mean, like, it's fine for dipping in that marinera sauce and that slice sauce, which

we'll get to. I almost wanted just a plain cheese pizza. I would rather have plain cheese pizza on handtust. I was going to get the toppings on the stuffed crust pizza, but you had said cheese stuffed crust pizza. I think you guys are just jaded and have been doing this a long time. Yeah, we've been doing it a long time. I mean, that's true.

We still like it. You got to. Not the podcast, but this food. Can I say that when I first started listening to this podcast, I thought Ungapachiko was related to Umcar plot. And I was like, why are you keep saying the Star Wars guy's name? Wow.

Well, we do keep saying the Star Wars guy's name over and over. But then I also thought Ungapachka was like a guy that just didn't know about. I never made the connection between Uncar Plutt and Ungapachka despite them having a lot of syllabic similarity.

That's interesting. Is that interesting? Yeah. That's just something that I picked up. Because we could have referenced Uncar Plut today, Mitch, in... Uncar Plotchka. Uncar Plotchka.

There's something... I think Rises Skywalker is kind of Uncar Plotchka. I agree with that. It's kind of normal yourself Star Wars already. Mandalorian and Grogu is Uncar Plotchka. I agree with that. It's when Star Wars has gone too far. Uncar Plotchka.

Uncar Plotchka. Except you guys both saw it and you both really liked it actually by this point, I think, in July. We loved it. We both loved it. We both loved it. Yeah, we're surprised by how much we liked it. That's why Wags is dressed as a Mandalorian and I'm dressed as Grogu today. And it's so sad.

Sorry, Mike, you got to do that. Yeah, Mike, you got to do that. And then put a, we'll never forget in the back. I mean, I liked all these pizzas. They were all working for me. Yeah, the pizzas are all good. It wasn't the, like, it was decently warm. Yeah.

Yeah. But it was, you know what's funny about this? I was thinking about this. You went and picked up the pizza. Oh. And I honestly think Domino's has this. delivery down to his science that with those heated bags, it's maybe just better to get it delivered.

I mean, have a good delivery system. Also, by the way, thank you for picking up the pizza. I don't think it was a bad thing to pick up the pizza. But you're saying, now you're taking things too personally. What she did made made it all worse. What she did did did made it all worse. It's true. The Domino's was on my way to work.

It was the perfect system. I agree with that. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. think also risking delivery. I was saying deliveries have been so... We're on a high schedule. And deliveries have been so shoddy lately. They keep forgetting.

Hey, that's what I've here for. Hey, that's what I'm here for. Another thing that we've been experiencing lately, I'm not sure if Domino's is in the same boat, but sometimes when you do delivery, it comes really early, way earlier than the time you schedule it. I think Domino's is very good at within...

You can order it within a half an hour, and almost will always be there. And sometimes a little early, right? that might happen. That could be the downside. Yeah. But it is funny to think like, oh, Domino's delivery, I think is the best form of Domino's, right? Like there's like, I mean, it might be.

Yeah. I want to. Oh, yeah, go ahead. I mean, also, this is unlike Pizza Hut or whatever, that was always the case with Domino's. Like, Domino's is always a delivery place for me or you're picking it up at the, at the store or whatever. It was never really a sit-down restaurant. No, it's, yeah.

And Pizza Hut obviously had that sit-down era, which is long gone and maybe coming back in some limited. form, but Pizza Hut was always a pickup pizza for us. We never got delivery. I don't think we had delivery once when I was a kid because my dad was too cheap to order anything delivery. Yeah. I just wanted to say that when I was looking at the app, I was looking at the extras, you

could buy all the extra like sauces and stuff. And in that, you could also donate to the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Hey, how about that? It's sort of wedged in the room between rants dressing and balsamic dressing. That's insane. So if you ever, that's another cool thing about Domino's. There you go. You could either buy ranch dressing or donate to a child with terminal cancer.

Isn't that sweet? It is nice that you get to do that. No, Domino's going to claim on the tax deduction. Where's my ranch? Oh, I fucking donated to St. Jesus. Exactly. Three times. Let's talk about the slice sauce because we're just talking slices.

That's what it's, hey, that's what we're here for. I don't know how I feel about this. It's such a. it's an intense flavor. My thought, I compared it to something, you weren't there yet. Yeah. It's a strong Caesar dressing. It is like a strong Caesar dressing.

It's almost like, I'm trying not to say ungaplotchka again. Ungapachka again. Carplacca again. But it is kind of that. Like, it's just like, if I'd rather just have like a garlic butter. You know what I mean? Or the marinerra I thought was better. Which we did have.

We had the garlic butter and marinerra there if you wanted. And the, because the regular. Slice sauce was, I feel like, so overpowering. It was, dare I say, a potent mix. It is a potent mix. You know what? Can I go get one? What do you want?

I want the slice sauce because I want to taste it just on its own. Yeah, I can't do too. Okay, Amelia's going to get some sliced sauce. Can you grab me a selt or two, sorry? Thank you so much. I'm a little, um, uh, parchedka. I don't know. Encar parchka.

Parchchka. Are you, do you generally like, are you, someone you got the crust left, do you dip it in something? Yeah. You usually do. What are you dipping in it? What's your default dip in? Whatever.

It's got a ranch typically. I like a ranch. I mean, this is thing. Everything to me is second place to ranch. You almost always rather have ranch. Sometimes they got hot sauce. Sure. Yeah.

That garlic butter is pretty damn good. Garlic butter is good. Hey, salute to Papa John, who we don't know if he made it through the accident or not. We don't know, yeah. Still missing, I believe. I think he'll pull through. And man, he's got them tater tautil. I hope those didn't get blown off.

That's from the accident. He has huge tities now. So we have no idea what this accident really is. Some sort of chemical explosion gave Papa John huge tities. I wish the garlic sauce was garlicier. Yeah. In my, because that's what I like. No, me too.

I like that garlic. I like, I like the, they added, look, they, they, they, they, they, they, they changed. No, they took, I mean, what Papa Johns was doing, they took and they did it. They just ripped it off. And I like it. I don't give me shit. I like Domino's more than I like Papa Johns. All right, somehow Amelia has returned.

Wow. You have the... What do you mean somehow? It's a Star Wars reference. We were just talking Star Wars. That's a Star Wars reference? Jimmy's bowing to you. She's begging for pizza.

You take everything way too personally. Yeah, yeah, you do. Oh, wait, no, you like this one. I'll take that one. No, no, I got this for dealer's choice. I like bowl. Okay. Amelia and Claire are haggling over which LeCroy to take.

Okay, we have the slice sauce here. The slice sauce here. Because I never really tried it just on its, oh, sorry, Jeremy's seat has been replaced with a pizza box. She's sniffing. So cute. I like the garlic sauce and the marinerar sauce. I am a fan of those. I like the marinera too.

I like the mariner too, yeah. I like it better than this. This was my least favorite of the sauces. What do you got there? You got like a bread steak or something? We're going to dip in that? I just want to dip it with my finger. Do it?

All right. Fine. Go ahead. I don't care. Do you want to do it first? No, I don't care. You want to do finger first and then bread? That's smart.

Here we go. Yeah. Mitch is doing a finger full. This is a big chunk. There's not many sauces I like just off my finger like that. Me neither. What do you think? It is very Caesar.

Do you want to try it? Yeah. Can I finger that some bitch? Yeah, of course. Okay, here we go. I can't reach. I can't reach. So,

thank you. This is. is the thing. Amelia was going to put this in the fridge and I said, don't put, this is where the whole fight came from. And I said, don't put it in the fridge. That sucks. I hate it. It's not great. It's fucking bad. I like it less now. Caesar Thousand Island Com. Yeah. It's fucking gross. It's funky. So the idea is, here. And it lingers with your breath. Can I have your finger sauce please? Yeah, hand it back on it for. Did you put your band-aid in there? No, I didn't use the Band-Aid finger. Well, we'll get to the Band-Aid sauce. I didn't

put my Band-Aid made no contact with sauces. He was always going to put the pizza in the fridge. And I said, just leave it on the table and turn it. This is where everything went sideways. And I said two hours pizza on the table is fine. I don't need to put it in the fridge is what my thought was. But neither of you guys are sick, correct? You air on the side, this is the thing, Mitch.

You air on the side of I want the food to taste as good as possible. Amelia airs on the side of safety. Yes. You just have different values. I also like Domino's pizza from the fridge. Yeah, me too. Oh, interesting. I like cold pizza.

I like cold pizza. I like cold pasta. Yeah, same. It is going to be cold no matter what in two hours. Different kind of cold, though. It's not chill. So is this the way you're supposed to eat slice sauce dipped the sice dipped in like this?

I would never do that. I'm not going to ruin a fucking slice. But that's what I think it's supposed to be why. I mean, I think it's supposed to be like that. The name slice sauce indicates you're supposed to use it on a slice. Like, I got a slice. So here's something to dip it in. That's the general vibe.

Yeah, I don't know. You don't know. Trying it just a scoop with my finger has made me like it less, too. Yeah, it's bad. Now I'm like, it's almost less caesare than I thought it was. It's like kind of, it's almost like a, it's kind of like, it is, there's a Parmesan flavor going on. It's like saying like you're supposed to, yeah, the flavor is, again, creamy and zesty with a hint of parmesan. That's what it's going for.

It's like, it's like, it's like taking like a chicken nugget and then it's like, you know, you're supposed to dip it in this little pool of diarrhea. I was like, well, you're maybe supposed to do it, but it's going to make it taste like shit. I don't want to fucking do that. That's the whole thing. Like, I don't care how you're supposed to eat. I don't care what the directions are. The sauce is bad.

The sauce sort of cancels out when it's on the pizza. Yeah. It's got parmesan in the sauce. I only tried one bite of it, and I thought it was like borderline Thousand Island-E. It is Thousand Island. Which is not ever anything I've ever been like, oh, I want to dip my pizza crust in Thousand Island.

I think it's more like, it's got so much Parmesan in it that it's more like Caesar than Thousand Island, but there's a Thousand Island Alamette too. All right, send that over. Let me, I'll do it. I'll dip a fucking slice in there like you're supposed to do. The spinach fetish fetish really good. I think that is good. It's definitely going to go into my next domino. Jesus

Christ. Okay, I'm going to I'll dig, I guess there's only two slices left. Can I take the slice you bitten out of? Yeah. All right. Remember that Stella sketch where they go, I want to dip my balls in it? Yes, but that was the state. That was the state.

Bro. Oh, this shit. Yeah, I suck. I hate it. Is it better on the like regular classic cheese slice than it is this spinach. I took a bite of one. I took it in there. Because some, I mean, the spinach and feta feels like a specific.

It's just unnecessary. Yeah. If that's how you're supposed to eat it, that's wrong. You shouldn't do that. They got new boxes it looks like too. They got these new kind of gold boxes. Why does it look like that? Is that where you're supposed to put the sauce on the circles?

I think what it is. is that I don't know. You could put the sauce on the box. You could put that in the dominoes. Oh, because it's the domino. It's a domino.

I forgot. I think what happened, because I mentioned. No. That's the new thing. And Amelia pointed out that does look like Dommy.

It says Dommy. It does look Dommy. It does look like a domy mommy. I will say this. I believe the gold comes from, because you mentioned it says 93% owned by Bain Capital.

The rest is 7% Mitch is owned by gold member. So I think that's kind of his influence. And you know his thing. Yeah. He loves gold. That is gold member's whole thing. Oh, I thought he said, uh, hey, that's what I'm here for.

Hey, that's what I'm here for. Um, Emily's mad at me. We've been, we're fighting too much lately. Yeah, you are. You need to bring some peace here. We're friends. All right. We're friends.

We're friends. What the fuck? And we're friends, right? Yes, of course. Not even a question. Okay, I love it. Mitch, we're friends. You're so mad at me that I just like to keep the pizza on the table?

I'm not mad at you. I'm never mad. Ever. Who's mad at? Let's just lay it all out there. Who's mad at who in this room? I'm mad at all of you. Okay, Emma's mad at everybody.

I'm on with you. That's fair. I'm mad at every single one of you. Mitch is mad at me because I always toss his stuff and I put pizza in the food in the frame. No, you've only tossed one drink of mine ever, but you are a tosser. If Mitch was mad at me, I don't. think he would say it to me. I wouldn't say it.

I was too scared. I think. I think Mitch is mad at me just kind of always. I'm not really mad at anybody right now. I think we've spent a lot. I think you're mad at me a lot, too. I think that's true. I think we've spent a lot of time together over the last few weeks.

We have. We have. I think we're doing pretty good. You don't think you're always mad at you more than you're always mad at me? This is the whole thing. This is the art dynamic. We both think that the other person is mad at us, and that leads us to be a little cranky.

and takes things a little personally. But there's probably a lesson to be learned from that. I think your cycles are synced up. Or like sexual tension. It's getting stinking in the headgum studios. There might be some unresolved sexual tension, as Claire is just saying. We should do it. We should just do it.

We'll take it. Hop in the shower. We're going to be great. We're both in the shower. Jimmy peaks in. You guys can be like, I'll be human, Shrek. Can you be Shrek? Comey.

Look, the pizzas were decent. I did, I, I did, I, I liked the pizza. Pizzas were good. The slice sauce was bad, but the other sauces are good. We got the spicy Buffalo 5 cheese mac and cheese. Now, this is a debacle. This was deceptive. Now, you know what?

Now, I am mad at Amelia. You know what? I made at you too, Mitch. Because there's no fucking chicken in the Buffalo chicken fucking. But it doesn't say chicken in the description. It doesn't say that. I know, I know. I know.

I know it's weird to be mad at in Amelia for this, but I am. We Mandela affected chicken in there because it says Buffalo. Because like as Emma was saying earlier, it's like almost like you see Buffalo and chicken is almost implied. Buffalo mac and cheese always has chicken in it. That's what I thought we were getting.

But no, we were just getting mac and cheese with some buffalo sauce just kind of peer north on top of it. And it was, I will say there was some real heat to the spicy buffalo sauce. I wasn't mad at that because I'm a bit of a heatseeker, but the mac and cheese was kind of inert. and not particularly notable.

I don't see any reason why I get this mac I get this mac and cheese from a fucking dominoes. And it's also like, without a protein, it's really not, it's really pretty insubstantial. I don't know. I thought this was kind of disappointing. It kind of felt like cafeteria mac and cheese.

Very much so. Let's be honest here. This is an afterthought here. This is an afterthought. It's not, no, they're not caring. I'll also say, gold member, as far as the small portions, gold member hired Uncar Plut.

So he's like, he's like, I can get more gold if you serve one quarter portion. Oh, okay, so he says that. He says that. Okay, because I didn't know that. No, I'm making that connection. Man, New Car Plot and Fat Bastard have never met. Whoa. Wow.

In what universe? Can you imagine? Those two need to meet. I go out some fucking tater tots. We got to go to Shrek's hometown. We got to go to Shrek's hometown. What is it called? Scotland.

Swan. No, what is the, what is the, never, never met? It was like, do, dolock, dolock. Dulac. Do lock. Do lock. Do lock. And what is, what is, what is the land call, though?

Like, never. It just said the far, far away. The far, far away. Far far away. Yeah. They'd think you were Shrek and they'd think I was Pinocchio. You were a little Pinocchio-y. I'm not fucking green.

And Wagers aren't made of wood. It's true. That's true. We know of. They think I'm white Shrek? I mean, probably, yeah. This might be the assumption. White Shrek.

If Shrek said that to me? Hey, white Shrek. I'm not you. We got the, no, it was allegedly pepperoni stuff, this cheesy bread. Did you sense the pepperonies in there? It was, no, but I put back a piece that didn't seem to have any pepperoni that I then saw you eat. Oh, that was maybe the issue. So maybe that's the issue.

I got a pepperoni free piece. I had a shitload of pepperonies in mine. So it was disproportionate. Stacks. evenly distributed. And I gotta say this, they do pizza well, they do stuffed cheesy bread well.

The stuffed cheesy bread is good. The stuffed cheesy bread is good. And again, as a mechanism for delivery mechanism for dipping sauces, it was good. Honestly, if you're a single man, I mean, I would never do this,

but if you're a single man and you are like, I don't want to get a full pizza, getting, I mean, it's probably even more calories, but getting a cheesy bread is, it seems like a less of a crazy idea or something.

If I was a single man, I'd kill myself. I'd be quite honest. I'm sorry, commit sewer slide. That's how they do it. That's how they do it on Instagram. Trek on. Trek committed sewer slide.

Well, Shrek's got a family now. Shrek and Fat Bassard are the same person. Amelia, you just blew my mind. Do you think you wore the suit when he was recording Shrek? Helps him getting to character. We also got these for dessert, the dessert course. We got the cinnamon bread bites with an icing cup. It's just like a little cup of...

Is Shrek and Fat Bastard with the same voice? Yeah. It's basically the same voice. He does like three voices. Yeah. They're all good, though. They're all good. He's Linda Richmond for Cat in the Hat, which is weird.

That is weird. Wait, really? Yeah. I've never seen Cat in the Hat. No, he's basically doing a coffee talk the whole time. Oh, my God, that's insane. The one where he's dressed up by Cat in the Hat? Yeah.

Oh, man. It's bad. It's not a good movie. What voice is you doing in the Pantamvirate or whatever? Oh, boy, I don't know. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen all the temperate. I don't think anyone's.

I mean, you know what? It would be so great if there was a new, if Wayne's World 3 came out, it would be first in line. I got something to tell you guys later, but. I'm excited. Not Wayne's World, though. Okay. It's going to be, like, depressing, though.

Oh, great. I'm excited to hear it. No worry. Got some sad, sad teeth It's going to be spilled. What was I going to tell you? You were going to tell something else out the air. I was going to maybe show you the tattoo that's close to my pussy, but I don't think that's going to have.

I know what it was. I'll remind you of it so we can think of it later. Well, speaking of Reddit, okay, so I, well, I was in a pilot where I wasn't wearing no pants. Okay. But I'm wearing a T-shirt, no pants. And you could see, and I was booked for the role based on the fact that I would said I would be okay with showing my bush. And then I did.

And then the pilot wasn't picked up. But it's on Amazon? It was. Wow. Because Amazon was doing this thing for a while where they had like, they were showing like pilot presentations like maybe four or five. And then it would like people like vote or however many people like watched it. Then that would be the one that got made.

This is a long time ago. And then the one that got made was Mrs. Maisel. Oh, there you go. And I don't think she shows her bush in that. She just sticks it to the man, I guess. That's why I'm not watching. I wanted to see Mrs. Maisel's Bush, and it's not on there. She does show her tits in the pilot.

She's got them tater tots. She's got some tater tots on her. But I don't like talking about Maisel's teeters. Wackas. Come on now. Come on Reddit, there was a discussion of my bush in the subreddit celebrity pussy. Okay.

So like maybe once a year I'll all inflict self-harm and Google my name. Did he know that Reddit existed? Well, most likely visit it. A celebrity pussy is the funniest subred I've ever heard of. I think that's what it was called. The pinpost is just Mitch's headshot. That's fair. That was good.

The red bites with icing up. I mean, I just like it's... The Band-Aid sauce. I did not get any. Band-Aid in the sauce. The Band-Aid sauce was good. It's icing. It's like a jizzy icing that you put the little bread bites in there, which are kind

of not too of them. We all know it looked jizzy. Yeah. Not a lot to, but I thought they were, I was okay. I thought the sauce, the icing was like weirdly just too viscous. You know, it actually wasn't jizzy because there wasn't yellow in it. Yeah, no, you're right. I didn't see any sort of like hint of yellow.

It was like a strong yellow tint. It was too white for giz. It was really white. It was too white for giz. No, yeah. But it was good. The Band-Aid sauce was great. I thought it was tasty.

I thought it was tasty, too. It was just viscous enough. Yeah. And just Band-Aid enough. I didn't get any Band-Aid in the sauce. So here's what Mitch is referring to. I had a band-aid on my thumb that I'm not wearing now, because if I had it on the video, it's all people would fucking comment on what happened to Wiger's thumb.

You know what I wish you would have taken that Band-Aid off? When? Before you dipped it in the sauce. This is, okay. You'd rather a fresh wound. Yeah, that's like to say. Like, yeah, what would you rather? And also, I didn't get, it didn't touch the fucking sauce.

You know why? Because my Band-Aid was bone-dry. I was gripping it, and I dipped one end of a long boy. If it's bone-dry, that you're wearing it for show? What's the deal here? What? You're pulling a fucking Nelly. What are you talking about?

It's only legit if they're soaking wet? It didn't get wet with sauce. What are you talking about? Clay. I'm not pulling a Nelly. God. You move it. It's not a fake Band-Aid.

I'm not pulling a Nelly. Just because it was dry. It doesn't mean the painless of real. You're pulling a Nelly. No. It was for show. It was not a Nelly. All right,

let's see the cuts then. Yeah. I can show you the Lume. No, I've got really dry skin. And so the skin cracked at the, at my, I mean, I don't know if anyone wants to look at wounds. Like a hang nail sort of.

Yeah, it's kind of like right at my nail beds. Or not that the top of the nails, it kind of cracked there and it cracked here as well. All my blood leading the other day. Yeah, it's rough stuff. And so. So I just had band-aids on to sort of mitigate that, but I didn't want to wear him in the video.

But yes, I was wearing it. The band-aid was on my thumb, but did not make impact with the sauce. Not come close to touching the sauce. You didn't wear, your wound wouldn't have gotten on the sauce. The band-aid is sticking out a little bit. It, what, didn't fucking touch it? I did see some stray strands from the band-aid.

Touching the sauce? I don't know. I didn't look close enough. It didn't touch the sauce. Wait, let's look at the band-a. If the band-aid has sauce on it? That's what you say? The band a day did not have sauce in it.

That's why I took it off. Yeah, if you want to fish the band-aids out of the trash. Oh, you don't think we'll do that? I know, I believe you will. I just don't, I think if it has sauce on it, it might be from sauce that's already in the trash can. Oh, that's pretty convenient. It absolutely did not have sauce on it. Oh, interesting.

Absolutely did not have sauce on it while it was dipping. Also, this is another thing. This is a glove don't fit situation here. This is another thing. This is another thing. You are so particular about hygiene in certain ways, and then you are, you you get on Amelia for being particular about a hygiene and other ways.

Oh, a second. I dipped into the Band-Aid sauce right after you did it. Yeah. I'm just saying you're harping on it. No, I'm just making fun of you. It's not, I didn't fucking band-a-sau. I think you maybe added to the sauce. The Band-Aid maybe added and made the sauce better.

Wish I band-aided the sauce. Damn. Just slipped a fucking Band-Aid into your Coke zero. Well, now that's fucked up. I wish I put the, that's like a kid's, like, I wish I pissed my pants, but it's really just water. You definitely put your Band-Aid in the sauce. I did not put my Band-Aid in the sauce.

What I will say is that there was a kid at Camp once who, first thing in the morning, said, just so you know, I didn't spur my sleeping bag, okay? No one had asked, sperm. Yeah, no one had asked. We didn't, like, it wasn't, like, noticeably wet or anything. Like, he was just calling attention to it immediately. He was just like, this kid 100% had a wet dream and his self-conscious about it. I didn't spur my sleeping bags. Turning sperm into a verb is great. That's such a little good thing to do.

It really is. Good for that. I get early, an early, this is an early, uh, wet dream. No, he was the age. He should have been coming. Really? Yeah. No, it's like, I was just somebody, this was like, that I was like 12, 13, something like that. Okay. It's where kids are coming. Yeah, 12 or 13. You're coming. Yeah, you're about to have a wet dream. All right. Let's get to our final thoughts. Eighth grade? I think that's what I have. You guys have the best job in the world. We know.

God. No HR department. No real department at all, actually, from what I could tell. No, nothing. You hear about your bosses come all day. You know how your boss jerks all. You know what he likes. There was a moment when I was telling that story.

I was like, this is not. This I shouldn't be doing this. He can suck his own dick. Yeah. Come on. Is that true? Stop this. You know who else can't.

I heard Robert De Niro. I've heard this story. I wonder if this is from the same source. We'll talk about it afterwards. You can get the bone in your mouth. Can you get the tennis balls in there too? It's for the dog. It's dog theme.

Hey, buddy. A good night's rest sets you up for a great day, doesn't it, Mitch? It sure does, Wags. And that's why you're so happy with your helix. That's right, Wags. I got a moonlight lux. I love it. It's like sleeping on a cloud.

You know, I'm like a little cherubic angel. A little chair about that. Is that redundant? Mitch, I would not worry about it because I think people know what you mean. That's what's most important. Linguistics is descriptive, not prescriptive after all. Helix has over 20 mattress models so you can find the perfect model for you. Perfect mattress for me, for Wally and Irma, for my mom and sister when they visit and I sleep on the couch. It's the perfect mattress. I love it. I've had it for quite a few years now, Yags.

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you're completely satisfied with your new mattress. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and wired. Go to helixleyslop.com slash doughboys for 20% off sitewide. That's right, Wags. That's Helixleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off sitewide. Helixleep.com slash doughboys. Do it. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett.

No, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah.

And we host the show, what's our podcast here on HeadGum? This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-on-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like your skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I know. I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something.

It's just on my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like a, do I need a, do I need a, another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the you know it's all in one place the video or audio or like no it makes it easy make it easy on me please yes and you can do all those things photos videos changing fonts you know i mean the designs are amazing they're catering to all your different needs there are SEO tools which i know what those are and they're custom domains oh what's come up with a domain right now let's see i'm wonder if it exists www www Meetings? Meeting? Friends. Friends meeting friends.com. That's an original thing that we came up with, friends meeting friends.

Anyway, so check out Squarespace.com slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use off for code headgum, save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. Let's get to our final thoughts on Domino's. So Claire, you've listed the podcast, you know all this goes, but we'll each go around, give a closing argument. if you will, and end by giving it a fork score from zero to five. You are a guest.

Your thoughts, your fork score on Domino's. I mean, I haven't had Domino's in so long. I haven't had that much cheese all in one sitting in a really long time. I haven't had pepperoni in maybe three years. Oh, my God. Thank you for eating it for this. No, I saved it. I saved myself for this moment.

And it all tasted really good to me. High quality. Domino's is always high quality for takeout pizza. Slice sauce, I have no problem with it. Again, I don't do this for a living. So kind of any sauce is good sauce to me, viscous or not. I just, I think I'm going to go four. Four forks, very good score.

Everything I ate I really liked. Go ahead, Spoon Man. I guess I say move over Burke Kreischer because Domino's is the machine. That's what I think. Wow. I think that Domino's. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe I said that.

I can't believe I said that. I also can't believe he said that. I can't believe I said move over, Bert Kreisher, because Domino's is the machine. This is Wild Wags. It's out there now. It's out there now.

You said it. I can't take it back. I can't put the genie back in the bottle. Rest in peace, Bert, by the way. That is the only confirmed casualty of the 4th of July incident. He did a big belly flop. That is confirmed. He did a big belly.

It's a separate incident. Yeah. He did a billy flip in the mirror. What is that called? The mirror pool? Yes. Yeah. And it was.

It wasn't filled up enough. That is actually true. They are redoing. I just saw a thing about this and it's costing millions of dollars that Trump is turning the reflection. Is it the reflection pool? Yeah. This has been in the news for a while.

It'll be very old news by the time. Well, it's supposed to be ready for the 250th anniversary. God damn it. Um, looks like shit and he's just getting some like pool guy. He knows to do it. He's getting cool guys to do it. It's very funny. He's getting cool guys.

It's really funny. Fool guys he knows to do it. Awesome. Um, uh, move over Berk Krecher. Domino's is the machine. Yeah. Uh, it is a machine. Uh, it is, it is, it is, it is just, it just is consistently dominoes.

I'm not saying you can't get a bad one. You can't get a bad dominoes, but like, what they do, the app ordering. The delivery time, what it is, it just is what they're trying to do wise, they do really, really well. And it's become, it's not, when I think of great pizza, I don't, Domino's is different. We've talked about this before. We talked about this a million times. There's good pizza. There's pizza, and then there's dominoes.

Like if you want, if you're craving dominoes, you get dominoes. Slice sauce is like zero. I don't care about, I just don't care about the slice sauce. I'll never get it again. I'll never try the slice sauce again. the garlic sauce I like, the pasta was bad, but we know that's not their real thing.

I still think this is a five forker for me, why it's five forks. Because it's Domino's. They turned it around from when they fixed things, they turn it around. Do I wish that it was, it still had some of that flavor from the, like if I had a Domino's pizza in 1990,

would it be better? Probably, maybe, I don't know, but I can't go back in time. Do you know, I will say this. There is, you know what? Fuck it. Four and a half forks. Wow.

Because you can donate to St. Jude Children's Hospital. That's not why I'm deducting half a fork. I think that they've maybe gone like a little too seasoning crazy in the past. Like I think that there used to be like more just like straight tomato sauce taste in the past and they have like changed their tomato sauce. But I still just think they're really good at what they do. So four and a half works. The sliced sauce should be sliced and tossed as far as I'm constructed. Prip keeper yourself over there.

I think that this is a really... What do you think of the Band-Aid sauce, though? The Band-Aid sauce is good. I mean... I thought it was a... This sauce is a real fucking whiff. What a huge unforced error. I just think it's fucking bad,

and I think people who order Dominoes to try this are going to be so turned off by the sauce. But you know what? I think they will enjoy the rest of the pizza, because I will. And I say pizza because the spicy buffalo mac and cheese, they don't need to be doing that. The cinnamon bread bites with icing cup,

whatever you think of them, they don't need to do that. They don't need to be doing that. They have to have a dessert. I understand that. Also, isn't that kind of the perfect dessert, though, for this place? Why do they need a dessert?

I just don't get, I'm just not ordering a dessert from a pizza place, but I understand they have to do it because it's a high margin. We've had it before. Sweet treat. It's a high margin item and also, like, if it's for like a kids party, then the kids might want something sweet.

So I understand why it's on the menu. I'm just saying, like, I don't ever need that. They shouldn't be doing pastas. I don't know what the fuck they're doing sandwiches, which we didn't talk. We didn't have this time. But any type of their sandwiches, I was like, why is this here?

I guess they're making just enough money by having this. But it just feels like streamline and simplify the menu because what you do well, you do very well. And it's the most consistent. Their wings are bad. We talked about their wings being bad, and I sometimes get those chicken nugget things, and they're fine.

I don't mind their wings. Yeah. I think their wings are fine. fine. But their pizza is, to me, the most consistent chain pizza if we're not counting Costco. And I think Costco is doing something different. So you can't really put in the same category. Chicken fingers at Costco now, works. Yeah, I know. Really? Them fingers.

Anyway, the pizzas were all great. $1,600 calories? Is that it was? That's not bad. It's very caloric. How many fingers? I don't know. Good question. How many a band-aids on them? You're one lucky banding one. Yeah, exactly negative.

So I just think the outside of the, the slice sauce, which is a bad LTO and, you know, the superfluous mac and cheese, the cheesy bread's good and all the pizzas were good. And I like their default sauces. And this is my go-to-chain pizza still, you know what I mean? And whatever, I'm not going to try to be cute here. Five forks. This is a five-forker for me. You won me over. I'm going back up to five.

Five forks. How did I get? I'll go five. Five forks all around it. It stays in the platinum plate club. Congratulations to Dominoes. USA. USA.

USA. That was a review of Dominoes. It's time for a segment. It's meal in the flank. What the hell is it? What the fuck? Like fill in the blank. Like fill in the blank.

Meal in the flank. I thought it was like walk like walk the plank. That sort of thing. It'll feel it. It'll feel that way. Meal in the flank. These are compiled by Amelia. Mitch and Claire are given a food-related quote from a movie or spoken by a famous person

and must guess which word completes the sentence. Got it. If you get the word correctly, you want a point. If they can correctly guess the year of the movie, or in the case of a quote, the person's age, they win an extra point. Okay. So I'll give you the quote and the movie, correct? Yes.

And then you're going to just fill in the blank. Okay. Am I buzzing it? Do we go back? Yeah, you can buzz them with your name. Oh, we buzz in. Okay. Yeah.

First one. Life is like a box of... I heard Mitch. I don't know what I was saying. Forest Gump. Oh, wait. No. Oh.

That's wrong. Chocolates. Wait, no. Claire, your chance. Qualified. Life is like a box of blank. You never know what you're going to get. Tom Hanks in Forest Gump.

That's fucking bullshit. The answer is chocolates. Claire gets it. Does anyone want to guess the year Forest Gump came out? 19. That goes to Claire. Claire has the opportunity to guess the movie first.

1996? You came close. 94. The 94. Wait, I think Mitch then gets the opportunity. Wait, what?

Okay, then give Mitch a point for that one. So I think whoever get, okay. They each get a point for that one. I would have known it was, I was going to say 1990. I know you would have.

They can steal it. They can steal it. All right, great. Now I understand. That's not in here. That's just saying that's not in the rules. I didn't write it down. And I just made this up.

Okay. We're making it up as we go. Okay. I love it. All right, here we go. Mitch isn't mad at me anymore. I don't know about Amelia anymore. Never was.

I never was either. I'm just playing it up. This is a real quote from our human being. My weaknesses have always been blank and men in that order, Dolly Parton. Mitch. There's two things I'm thinking of here, and I might be wrong with each one. Should I say both of them? And then maybe you could guess the other one.

I was either cheesecake or champagne. They are both wrong. Oh, well, there we go. I'm going to say chocolate. It is not chocolate. It is simply food. Either of you can buzz in to guess Dulli Parton's age. Or I guess you'll just each get a guess.

Oh, right? Yeah, sure. You'll guess your age. Okay. You can guess worse. 80. Mitch? 79.

Player got it on the dot 80 years young. Damn. It sounded like a good That's crazy. Next up. Hey, back to movies. Make a bust of that bust.

Make a bust of the bust. No more rhymes now. I mean it. Anybody want to blank. Vizini and Fezik from Princess Bride. Rick, can you say that again? No more rhymes now.

I mean it. Anybody want to blank? Mitch. Drink? not drink. Claire. Hot dog. It's not a hot dog.

I know this one because the joke is, and maybe I rated the wrong cadence. The joke is no more rhymes now. I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? And that line is said by Andre the Giant. Oh. The movie is Princess Bride.

Now we can guess the year. Guess what year the Princess Bride came out? You'd probably know it. This is tougher. This is 1987. I'm going to say 1980. Six. Mitch got it on the dot.

87. 87. Well done. It's tied right now. Hell yeah. Because I was trying to think of like Colombo is still alive. Yeah. And then who's the little boy in that?

Hey. Fred. Peter Falk and Fred Savage. Love Columbo. Oh. Love Columbo. And let me ask you one more thing. Let me ask you one more thing.

That's what I'm here for. That's what I'm here. Like the eyes are terrible. Pretty good beer fault. If he was a chucky cheese and a matron, that's what his eyes would be doing. Next up, another movie quote, Belch, this is a burp.

Burps? That's a spicy blank. Glitclare. Meatball. It is meatball. Jim Carrey in the mask. Mitch, what year did the mask come out? This is, oh my God.

We've talked about this before. We have. And I think the answer, oh my God, I'm going to be so mad. 1994. 997. It was 1996. You said four. Is 1994?

I was right. 1984 is correct. That's crazy. I thought you were pointing at me and saying when she said 1997, I was like, it's six. No, 1994. Smoking. Smoking. Two points from it.

I was scared because I was like, Forrest Gump and the mask in the same year doesn't seem about my head. But I'll tell you this much. The reason that I know it's 1994 is because the mask came out, Ace Ventura came out. Right, triple. And dumb and dumber came out.

Yeah. And you lost your virginity. Oh, that was good. That was good, too. And I lost my virginity. 12 years old. Actually, really, 11 years old for most of the year, and then turned 12.

And Amelia came out. I came out in 1994. Oh, you were born. Oh, she came out. She came out. Came out of the oven. I was like, I was like you, just coming out as a baby. I thought that was what you were saying.

Like you came out of the closet. I came out. I came out of the world. You came out of your mother's womb. Got it. Next up. They should have put you back in for a little bit longer if you asking me. I'm undercooked.

This is a quote, there's a quote by W.C. Fields. I cook with blank. sometimes they even add it to the food. Wine. It is wine. I keep forgetting my name. Famed drunk. Mitch, the answer here for a bonus point is what age was W.C. Fields when he passed away.

W.C. Fields was, I have no idea. 77. What do you want to guess? 46. I'm going to say neither of you gets it. It's 66. All right. Next up. Try the blank. It's delicious. Don't believe me. Mitch. Oh, shit. Try the. It's delicious.

Ask the. I fucked up because I thought I knew it. Try the cake. It's delicious. Cake. It's not cake. I'll read the quote again. Try the blank. It's delicious. Don't believe me, ask the dishes. Lumiere and Beauty and the Beast. I knew it was Lumiere. Well, I knew it was Beauty and the Beast. Claire.

Fish? It's not fish. It is gray stuff. It is gray stuff. Oh. Right here. It's delicious. Don't believe me.

That's not food. It's gray stuff. It's gray stuff. This is a twisted quiz. Gray stuff like Mitch's juice. Come on. All right. Now we're going to guess the year that.

What year did Beauty and the Beast come out? That's like 1993. I was going to guess, I was going to guess 92. Mitch comes closest. It was 91. Are we getting points for proximity? I had come out one year before that, actually. Wow.

Don't give me a point for that one. Okay. So it's only if you get it right on the year. Should we do that? Yeah. I don't know. You're your rules. It could be prices right rules closest without going up.

All right. We both went over. We both went over it. Even though I hate that rule. I think you have to get it on the dot. Okay. For bonus board. The Wiger rule.

91, huh? Yeah. Wow. That's great. It's five to two Mitch. All right. There are three left. You can 100% come back.

Claire. Claire, my name is Claire. There are people in the world so hungry that God cannot appear to them except in the form of blank. Claire. Coca-Cola. It's not Coca-Cola. That's a good guess. Mitch will read again.

There are people in the world so hungry that God cannot appear to them except in the form of blank Mahatma Gandhi. Food. Bread. It is bread. Mitch gets it. Mitch for a bonus point. What was that?

You're allowed to do that. You used to have a bow like you're like a Japanese tea house. No. I bowed like Gandhi. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know if you ever did that. but all right.

Do you, Mitch, do you want to guess what age Gandhi was? By the way, that's the best Gandhi impression. You should be thrilled if that's the impression of Gandhi I did. I think it's great that it was an audio impression. Yes, I agree. What age was Gandhi? You guys wanted more out of me? I'm going to make my, we need to talk about Apu or whatever.

About this podcast. I vowed to never do my God. Gandhi impression again. Wait. What age was Gandhi when he died? I feel like he was an older gent. 78. On the dots.

Wow, Mitch. Wow. I loved when Gandhi did that. Mitch might be Gandhi reincarnated. What the fuck? That's how Gandhi jerks off. All right. Two more.

This is an Albert Einstein quote. N. Blank is not a good political advisor. N. Blank is not a good political advisor. A.N. N. A. N. Blank is not a good political advisor. Are you Googling? No, I was Googling W.C. Fields, honestly. Because I just, I knew he was, I just didn't know what. I don't. I know W.C. Fields, but I don't know what he's dumb. He was like a, he was like a famous, like, drunk guy. He was, like, had some. some films, yeah, yeah.

Some comedy films. A hint for this one. Please. It's two words. It's two words. And blank blank is not a good political advisor. I'll see, I have no idea. An empty glass?

Mitch, you are not correct. But was I close? You're in the right ballpark. An empty bottle? Empty bottle. And fuck. An apple pie.

It's not apple pie. It's empty stomach. Empty stomach. You shouldn't be doing these sorts of people, you know, whatever. You're not in your best mood when you're... Okay, so these are food related. They're all food related.

Food. I keep going food. Food related quote. Wait, who said it? Albert Einstein. Oh, Einstein. How old was Einstein when he died? You don't like him?

No, you know. You said it. equations. I don't like that one equation. Do you want to guess first? How old was he when he died? Yes. 83. I was going to guess 82. That's funny. Neither of us. He was only 76 years young. That makes sense. Yeah. Last one. What's the score?

Seven to two. Wow. Mitch dominating. You're doing great. This is hard. This is hard. This is not easy. Okay, so there's a two-part question. So there are two-part question. So there are two- answers so you can potentially get two points here. And you know what they call a blank in Paris? Claire. A royal with cheese?

Wait, no. Do you know what they call Big Mac in Paris? No. You are incorrect. What? Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry. Mitch.

And you know what they call a blank? Quarter pounder. It is quarter pounder. Mitch gets a point for this. Continuing on. They don't call it a blank. This is the same same thing. same word.

No, man, they got the magic system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a quarter pounder is. Then what do they call it? They call it a blank. Royale with cheese.

Which I'll give you Why don't we each get a point for that? Yeah, I'm still losing, though. Claire gets a point for Royale with cheese. And just don't want to guess what year of the movie

Pulp Fiction came out. This is a great question. I think I know this. Go for it. Ninety-four. You are correct. That's what that was what I thought of. Pulpiction,

Forest Gump, Shawshank Redemption I was I thought it was funny Real best picture Slobber knocker I thought it was funny That I was like

It's 94 again Also 94 One of my favorite movies Hoop Dreams Not nominated Not even for Doc I've seen Hoop Dreams Didn't get documentary nomination

No Only got nominated for editing It's a real travesty Great documentary That great documentary Dugressing Mitch wins That was Meal in the Flint

That was so crazy Amelie came out Yeah Emile came out We're proud of her. Just like a restaurant you buy her feedback, let's open to the feedback. Today's email is from Amanda. Amanda writes,

Hi, doughboys fan. I think it's so fun and whimsical when restaurants give out free gimmicky things. A restaurant in my hometown gives you a tootsie pop with every entree. That's fun. The Boathouse at Disney Springs in Orlando gives small rubber duckies with their signature blue-colored cocktail the Duck Duck Razz. And of course, Texas Roadhouse gives out free bags of peanuts. If the doughboys open to a restaurant, what would your signature

free giveaway B Seems like it could be a food It could be a A little trinket Yeah I was just thinking when you came out

In 1994 Did you give the doctor Hey that's what I'm here for Hey What's what I'm here for? All right We get one little item You know what

This is an interesting question I'm trying to figure out How to approach this And I'm gonna say Slapin Jemmy's butt It's a hard She loves the butt pat. The good thing about the tootsie pop, the rubber ducky, and the free bag of peanuts, those are all

things that kids would be excited by. And so, I'm thinking along that logic, one thing I always loved as a kid is a candy necklace. And if you get a candy necklace, you know, and I think you could also produce those at scale where you weren't taking a bath on each free giveaway. So like, like, like, hey, you're on your way out? You want a little necklace? There you go.

You get to remember your visit with it. That seems fun. You're putting the candy necklace on all these children? Yeah, I'll personally put them on all the kids. I'd say candy necklace. That's my first. In terms of like what else, I would say maybe, you know, I'm the burger boy. Maybe give him a little squeezable burger.

That would be fun too. I think that's more, what you're saying is more fun. I like candy necklace. Have you ever seen those little toys where it's like a pig and then you squeeze it and then like a little poop bubble comes out? Yeah. That'd be kind of cool, but it's like you guys. That's fun.

That is cool. Squeeze it and the eyes and the poop come out. That's fun. I think that's poop like shit's coming out of our butt. Like a bubble shit is coming out of our ass. That's fun. That is fun. Yeah.

I'm going to go with a food because you, I'm going to go with, you know what? The kids are going to like my restaurant more. A little mini bag of nerds gum clusters. That's, you're okay. You're spending some money on that. Those are expensive. A little bad, I'm saying like the trick-or-treat bags.

Yeah, I'm just saying you're spending some money on that. That's different than give it away. Well, I didn't know we were caring about price per unit. I'm just saying, like, that's a thing to keep in mind. I mean, nerds boxes must be half as much. Your candy necklaces are... No, that's another thing. Like, mine, I'm not sure how you could quite...

I'm not sure what they would cost if you... If you make them in-house, I think it'd be fine. Make them in house, yeah. Yeah, especially with your tracking devices that you're putting on them. We're tracking the kids. You put the tracking device in the burgers. That's when they don't be looking. What other fun.

You know what it would be fun. Like, we talked about dough. Yeah. If you're at a pizza shop, giving a little thing of dough, dough to go. Do dough to go is fun. Dough to go.

Dough to go is fun. Dough to go. How is that the dough boy's double was good, but dough to go. Dough to go. So wait, it's just raw or raw dough? Raw dough. Yeah, kids love raw dough, though.

They do. They like slime and shit like that. Yeah, they like a silly putty. Yeah. Dode go at a pizza restaurant would be my vote. Dode go. Do to go. Do to go.

You kids want some dough to go? Yeah. Why don't you give them money? Everybody gets a dollar. Everyone gets a dollar. They'd love that. Oh, the price per unit's fine on that, a dollar. Everybody would get $0.56 cents or something.

There you go. I think the... Would you rather get a treat or a toy? As a kid, I'd probably rather get a treat. As an adult, you would rather go a toy? Yeah, I'd really get a toy. But I will also say that... But as an adult, would you rather get a treat or a toy?

It's kind of fun as an adult. First of all, adults don't get enough toys. Yeah. I'd rather than give me the toy. As an adult, getting a little toy, sometimes it's fun. Mm-hmm. When we went to the Outback, you had a little toy, and you got it. Are you a little koala?

It's on the shoulder. It's on the shoulder. It's on the shoulder. It's right there. It's right there. My outback's big-ass koala. I gave that to you? Yeah.

It was floating in a drink. It was in a drink. And who was it, Tom, who got the... Yeah, there was a Tom. But Tom got the gator and forgot the gator, and the gator was so fun. Yeah, I love that gator.

Little toys are fun. You guys got a lot of good stuff, huh? We got some stuff. I think that also the... The other thing I love is the Burger King Crown. I always thought that was so fun. And so if I could come up with equivalent of that, like some little funny hat,

like a little, like, you know, maybe like at the top of a burger bun that you could put on, but it was like cardboard. So like, you know, a kid could wear it, they could wear it in the restaurant, then they want to wear it home.

Like a little... You're putting a necklace and crowns on these, your child brides. Yeah. Like a little burger beret, like the... A burger bray is fun.

Burger bray is good as hell. Bergray. Burger burger. Very good. Claire, do you have a... Do you have anything you'd want for your restaurant? Oh, probably,

yeah, some sort of hat, I think, would be cool. Or a little flag. Oh, you know what? You know what I love pendants? Those like long triangle. Oh, I love, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those penance, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and this is the name of the restaurant. I used to have some of those. Those are fun. You put the bray on and then when you look inside the bray and it's, you're signed up for the army by wearing it. Yeah. You sent them right off to the straighter her moose. Straighter her moose.

You have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants. Do we own, do we, are we now in charge of the straighter per moose? For the 4th of July, I hope that America got its gift and it got the straighter per moose. We are, but unfortunately. We paid a heavy price, and we miss them. The machine is no longer running. If you have a question or comment up at the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedbag atbirdfuck.com,

or it leaves the voicemail to 830-463-6844. Our producer is Emilio Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Merch at kinshipgoids.com slash doughboys. And to get the doughboys double or doughboys to go, our weekly bonus episode, subscribe at or dough to go

subscribe at Patreon.com slash dough I just can't form words anymore too fucking tired yeah you're doing

you're doing great yeah I'll go straight to bed Claire just like in that ghost chair that's fun after a long day time to sit down

whoa you fall through it that's fun I'm back with bandades all over my ass Claire O'Kane thank you so much thanks for having me

what a treat what a treat thanks for the food do you have anything you'd like to plug Come to, I have a show every Tuesday at the UCB Annex, which is around the corner from UCB Franklin, next to the tail waggers, of course.

And tailwashers. And tail washers. And I host that with Joe Quazala, stand-up comedian. Oh, yeah, a very funny guy. Pastaub was guest. The best. And clericane.com for all your clericane needs. Love it.

What a guest. Oh, and on Quarators, says my podcast that I do with Alex Patack and Jeremy Kaplowitz. There you go. Stay off her back on Reddit. Stay off my back on Reddit. You can say whatever you want about me on Reddit. I'll never see it.

I don't care what you second by. Stop in there. They love you, those fucking dorks. You know what? Because he shows leg. I do show a lot of leg. Yeah. I'll show feet sometimes too.

Show a whole one of these days. Work up to it. Or those neurodivergent people somehow relate to you, I guess. Why does it have to be a thing you take? Like now, there's another thing. Now you're like upset that people are like me. I don't know. You read it.

That's why they put that. do it. They're trying to like fucking provoke a reaction from you. It worked fart knocker 69. You won. Keep knocking farts. The doughboys think it's wrong to celebrate corporations, but then they gave Domino's five forks. What the fuck. You're right, fart knocker 69, but fuck you.

Eat a hot, I hope you ate a hot dog last week. I hope you ate a hot dog last week. That's really nice. Oh, because it's 4th of July. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And we know what happened, all those people who ate those hot dogs. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys.

Until next time. They got big tinnies, I think. They got big ass. Timmies. And next for the spoon man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wiger. Happy eating. See ya.

That was a hate gum podcast.