Doughboys - Domino's with Matt Kowalick

Episode Date: July 16, 2015

The 'boys review Domino's Pizza with Mitch's former roommate and Birthday Boys alum Matt Kowalick.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The game of dominoes was invented during China's Song Dynasty and first came to prominence in Italy during the 18th century. 200 years later in 1960, Michigan brothers Tom and James Monahan purchased a pizzeria named Dominix, using their VW Beetle to make deliveries. Tom bought out his brother, two more locations soon followed, and the burgeoning chain was renamed after the strategic tile game that was popularized in the birthplace of pizza. Back to present day, Tom Monahan has sold a steak for $1 billion to Bain Capital, and while his creation may be second to Pizza Hut in terms of U.S. locations, it's the

number one pizza chain worldwide, with nearly 1,000 restaurants in India alone. They recently shortened their name as if to take the advice of Sean Parker and the social network. Drop the pizza. It's cleaner. If you order delivery from them right now, it should arrive by the midpoint of this episode. Because this week on Doughboys, we're talking dominoes. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, Mike Spoonman Mitchell. There we go. Now you're getting it. Is it Spoonman or is it The Spoonman? Spoonman. Spoonman. Okay, so there's no doubt. Maybe The Spoonman.

You know what? You kind of caught me off guard. I feel like you should have an answer to this. You called me by the right name, so I was kind of shocked. The Spoonman. Yeah, The Spoonman. Okay. The Spoonman.

Your self-given nickname is The Spoonman. Yeah, so you fucked up. Mike The Spoonman Mitchell. That's correct. Okay, great. I'm still going to call you Mitch. And Nick, Burger Boy Weigar. Burger Boy is not going to take.

I'm not going to stick with Burger Boy. Mitch, we have to discuss something up top, which is it's a little bit of business that applies to this episode and future episodes because of something you did. You're not in trouble. However, last week on our episode of Carl's Jr. Hardee's with Ben Axelrab, you decided after we had awarded Carl's Jr., I believe, Ben gave it four forks, you gave it five Carl's Jr. stars, and I gave it four forks, and you decided that that meant that Carl's Jr. Hardee's won the Golden Plate Award.

That's correct, yes. So I believe we established on the podcast the rules roughly are that a chain receives a Golden Plate Award. Is it the Golden Plate Award or do you join the Golden Plate Club? You're a part of the Golden Plate Club. Okay, so you join the Golden Plate Club if you receive four forks or greater from each of the guests. That's correct.

It's not like if someone gave it, one person gave it two forks, two other people gave it five forks, that's 12 forks total divided by three, that averages out to four forks. You're not in the Golden Plate Club though because you didn't get a minimum of four from each individual. That's correct, yeah. Okay, so this retroactively applies to our past episodes. Yes. Okay, so if anyone wants to go back and catalog what our scores are and keep track of who's

in the Golden Plate Club, I would do it, but frankly I don't like listening to sound of my own voice. We ain't doing it, but I believe I think Chipotle likely is in the Golden Plate Club, there's a chance IHOP may have gotten in there, TGI Fridays perhaps. Yes, I think at least, Chili's didn't make it in. I feel like there are a couple that made it in there. I feel like there are a couple that would have been in the Golden Plate Club in addition to Carl's Junior Hardys, and then also, and this level I know for a fact has not been

achieved, but it may, maybe this week, we also established that there is a Platinum Plate Club. That's right. The Platinum Plate Club is if it gets perfect five forks from every guest and host. That's correct. Okay. That would be, I mean, it's unprecedented. If it does happen, my mind's going to be a little bit blown if we can reach that degree

of agreement on an individual chain. I feel like, I don't know if it will happen today, but there's a chance, you know, Domino's is pretty good. Yeah. And we're going to turn the first half of our episode into like a Rain Man Rambo. I wanted to have a very humorless discussion of numbers and protocol. Are you watching that number three or show on CBS? Is that still on?

I don't know. I hope so. Okay. Krumholtz, right? Is that Krumholtz? I don't know. I think it's Krumholtz. Okay.

Let's, we just mentioned Domino's. Let's introduce our guest, a fan of Domino's, you know, from IFC's The Birthday Boys, Matt Koalik. Good boy. Hey, everybody. Hi, Koalik. Hey, how are you? Thanks for being here, man.

Welcome to the show. Thanks. We previously had on as a guest, Jack Allison, who is Mitch's current roommate. Yeah. Poor guy. And you, you have a little bit of history yourself is in that you were Mitch's former roommate, correct? Oh, yes.

What was the straw that broke the camel's back that got you to move out of there? You know, I think it was just... This is going to be news to me if you blame you leaving on me. No, I mean, it's hard to blame any one thing. And a number of things adding up and then also just life and falling in love. Then I moved out and moved in with my girlfriend. He fell in love with me and he couldn't be in the house anymore. Yes.

Another one of those unrequited situations. I think, yeah. I think that there was a lot going on in that time. Well, I was actually with you, I was your friend, and also we were working together. So we saw each other a lot. Yeah. There's no break. Lucky guy.

Me, I live with Koala and I live with Jack. Who couldn't ask for anything more? Man. You love tough love. It's been quite the last five years for me. Quite the last five years. I'm kind of, as they say on nerve's end, close to the rope, I guess they would say in the olden days.

Does that mean close to killing yourself? That's what I'm trying to say. What does mean gallows? I don't know. Whatever. Who cares? You're both annoying. I almost killed myself.

You know that you can always leave that apartment, too. That's true, but I've grown to really love the place. We were good roommates, actually. I think Koala and I... We originated as the Palmerston pals. Yes. We were the Palmerston pals. That's the name of the street.

For all those listening out there who don't know the street that we live on or care, we named ourselves the Palmerston pals. Even though there was a lot of bickering, I feel like, half the time. But Koala and I, we did well for the first few years. I think it was later on when we had met that mental frustration of work and everything like that. That kind of... Yeah.

That place isn't that big, either. Yeah. You're very on top of each other at that place. But yeah, considering that we worked together on birthday boys, I think we got along pretty well. I'm wondering how clean I am. How clean? I'm kind of like right in the middle.

Jack is like slob, man. Well, and now I've gotten way more slobby. And then you were like, you vacuumed every week. Yeah. And you were super clean. What a nightmare. No, I loved it. I am.

You know that. You know that I liked it. I enjoyed it. It was great. I know. I'm sure you enjoyed it when I was cleaning the apartment for you. It was great. Oh, it was amazing.

I would usually just push them into my room and let them clean up in there, too. But yeah, I'd say I'm kind of all in the middle between you and Jack. I think you would say that you were an extreme cleaner, right? Right. Right. Or just normal. Not living in filth. I got to say, because I was over there last week.

We recorded our episode afterwards. Oh, it is talking 10 times worse than when I was there. Yeah, I would say squalor is how I would describe it. We had some Shark Tank on the TV. We ate some Zanku Chicken, local Armenian chicken chain, which is very tasty. We had a lovely evening. Sounds like a great time. We had a great time.

I guess I'll invite you back soon. It was a little messy, though. This is a place could use a fresh coat of paint. It could. It needs a cleaning lady. No TLC. That's partially my fault. I think I'm against getting a cleaning lady and Jack is against doing anything cleanly.

So that's kind of the... But now I'm open up to it. I would say that between you, I fall right in between the two of you. I wasn't completely disgusting, would you say? Yeah, Jack and I always say that you're the exact medium of us. What a fun guy that is. We love median and range and mode. When you say that, I wasn't completely filthy, but I'm a little messy.

Yeah. Yeah. It's dealable. You're not a problem to clean up after. Thank you. Sure. I don't know what the physical thing is, but you're kind of drawn towards whichever pole of the magnet is more...

The powerful force that's near you, you're like an orbiting moon between two heavenly bodies and whichever is gravitational pole is there, whether it's messy or clean, you're kind of being pushed in that direction. I would agree with that, though. I think... You know what a part of our problem is is that we didn't have a dishwasher, which is... Truth. That's a nightmare after all this.

You know, I don't have a dishwasher in my place either. But we did have a dishwasher. It was me. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. There we are. Are you sure? Didn't I do dishes quite a bit?

I think you did them once and never let me forget it. That's not... With Jack, at least, I am always... My only thing with you doing dishes is you used way too much dish soap, and there was soap everywhere, even when you go to fill the glasses and they're so clean. What the fuck? You're lucky you're in this podcast. I was going to jump over there and beat the shit out of you right now.

Guys, we're here primarily to air old grievances, so this is good. What was the food situation like when you guys were there? Did you eat meals together often? Was there cooking going on? Well, Koala Gloves, Zanku, actually, you're a Zanku nut. I'm a takeout man. You're a takeout man. And I was, too.

Right? Yeah. I would say that I was... We're a takeout crew. Well, luckily or unluckily, we were just always working, so a lot of it was just food on whatever. I think at that time, I ate a lot of Piquito Moss. Yep.

A lot of Panda Express. Koala Gloves, Panda Express. He loves a lot of things. He really loves Domino's, not to get into it yet, but he's a huge Domino's guy. I think we would eat out quite a bit. We actually had a... I've never cooked in that apartment, so... Yes.

Maybe there was a while there where I was actually the guy who made more food at the house, which is strange, because I don't usually do it either. But we had a thing called Guy's Night, which is very... The Palmerston Pals had a little Guy's Night. We had Guy's Night, which is very... It's very dorky name, but it was me and Koala and Armin and Harris, Whittles, and we all would go out to restaurants together. And we...

Right? Yeah. We do this for a couple years on Thursday nights. We go to a fancy restaurant every week and eat a bunch of bad food. It was great. There were a lot of good dinners in that time. What was the most memorable meal or memorable experience from that run? I remember maybe not just memorably bad was Fogo de Chao.

It was so salty. Yeah, we were salted out. Yeah. We... That's the Brazilian chain, I believe, where they bring you meat on a spit, is that correct? Or they sort of walk to your table with individual cuts of meat and you... They just slice you off pieces of whatever meat... They come around with the meat, like you said, and they're just like, you want this?

And I say, yes, to every person. They give you a little slice of meat. But yeah, we were salted out that day. I had bloated feet, which is crazy. I think Lowry's was a... Lowry's is always a classic win. It was always a classic memorable time when we would go to Lowry's primary restaurant. Yeah, we'd go late and there'd be nobody there and just us and them bringing all the...

Meat to us. Yeah. I think... And we went to Mess Hall together for the first time. We went to a lot of... We tried new places a lot. That was kind of a big part of it. And wherever Armin felt like going, I couldn't...

Right. But if you're going to pick out one memory from this stretch of your lives, it would be the time you had a little too much salt. Yep. Great. Yeah. I also remember one time Qualik didn't come. It was pretty great.

Qualik, where did you grow up originally? I am from a suburb of Houston called Missouri City, specifically Quell Valley. Is that... Now, in your youth, is that when your affection for Domino's developed? What were the chain restaurants you were eating or fast food you were eating in that time of your life? Well, back then, McDonald's was always the goal. Sure.

Also, Burger King was around, but you know, Domino's was always... You had it at least, I feel like once a week. It's a big food in sleepovers growing up. I think that's part of probably why I still love Domino's is maybe the nostalgic factor, but you have sleepovers and you rent movies and video games and you eat Domino's. You know? And specifically in Houston or in this Quell Valley area, Domino's is the dominant chain or this was just what you happened to your friends and family.

No, there was a pizza hut, but people didn't like pizza hut that much for some reason. Or we had a bad one, but Domino's was just constantly around. And then there was always the somehouses where they would be like, well, we don't like Domino's and then they'd make you eat red-barren pizza or something like that. What fucking ripoff. It's not a ripoff. You're going to a sleepover. If you go to sleepover and they pull out red-barren pizza, those parents suck and you deserve

to get made fun of as a child. But Quell Valley sounds like a terrible place. Well, it's not. It sounds like... Pretty nice. It sounds like Hell Valley, first of all, and you're from there, second of all. It's actually like a weird community in that it was built in the 70s around a golf course and the golf course in the 70s was on the PGA Tour.

And then eventually it became like the Woodlands or Better Courses in Houston, but it's this very master plan community around a golf course. I love all your defensive... I know where you're from is a good place. You were neighbors with who your neighbor was, wasn't it Warren Moon? Yeah, Warren Moon. Wow. NFL Hall of Fame quarterback Warren Moon.

Yep. You saw him around? I saw him around. I was friends with his daughters, Blair and Chelsea, and they were later friends with Beyonce and she moved into our neighborhood and then... Wow. I met Beyonce. Did you legitimately meet Beyonce?

I legitimately met Beyonce, legitimately was in love with her when Destiny's Child first came out and asked her out on dates and she would never would and then eventually she went to Cold Stone Creamery with me on an afternoon date. Wait, no. Oh my God. You're completely full of shit. I'm not. You went to Cold Stone Creamery with Beyonce.

Yeah, I like it. Oh, this sounds like one of those stories when a nerdy kid's like, I don't have a date to prom and then they ask someone online and they go with them. It sounds like such a... It sounds like a huge pity date. I'm not trying to be a jerk. It might have been. And that's fine.

Well, you know... I loved her first. I'm not... Matt, I'm not gonna shit on you for this. This is tremendous, I think. I don't think you should be insulted at all for going to a Cold Stone Creamery with Beyonce knows. Do you remember what she ordered at all?

I do not. Do you remember what you ordered? Probably just like vanilla with something. I don't... It was pretty plain. Cool. But it was like... Well, you want vanilla?

No, I like... I used to like the vanilla with the heath bar and some other things in there. It was mostly about the toppings that they'd crush in. I like to think that Beyonce still reflects on this date with you and that what turned you off was you got such a boring... What turned her off was you got such a boring order from Cold Stone. Probably a fucking vanilla heath bar guy. You'd still be with her today, if not.

Yeah. Did you guys hear any Jay-Z songs on the way, you think? I don't think so. I don't know if there's any like... What year would this have been? 2000? Wow. So she was still...

Wait, she was... Destiny's Child was not yet a thing in 2000 or was it just starting to be a thing? They were in 99, kind of. Say my name. They had a video for Say My Name. Wait, so she was famous by this point? Sort of, but wasn't it huge? Oh, and you're the first person to love her?

Fuck. I'm just saying I truly loved her before Jay-Z. You hear that? Jay-Z, if you're a Doe Boys listener, this guy seems like he's challenging you. I feel like, man, it must have been a low point for Beyoncé. Well, at that point, I think her name was just Beyoncé and she wasn't Beyoncé yet. Yeah. Okay.

You know what I mean? So, what happened after the date? How did it end? What was the deal? I went to college and then she became Beyoncé. She wins. It's not a competition. I think Beyoncé is doing better than most of us on the Doe Boys podcast.

That is so funny to me. Just thinking of your neighborhood and there's Beyoncé and Warren Moore and then it's me. Hi, everybody. Hi, guys. You're in the middle of all that. I remember playing over there and they had like an arcade. I remember playing NBA Jam with Cly Drexler one time.

Oh, my God. NBA Hall of Famer Cly Drexler of the Houston Rockets. Houston Rockets. Portland Trail Blazers. Yeah. Did he ever motion you into a basketball and dribble you? No. No?

No. Mitch, that's a bad question. That's not something. Yeah. That's not a Cly the Glide move. That was a weird word. I do have, I could tell a salacious story about Warren Moon. Salacious Grum Story?

Is it potentially something that you get the Doe Boys podcast suit? You know what? Let's move on. Was it about Salacious Grum or not? No. It was not about Salacious Grum. Never mind. No, actually, let's hear it.

You know, if we have to edit it out, we edit it out. Let's hear it. Well, there's a classic story where it had a, like a Mercedes that he had bought for his girlfriend was accidentally delivered to his house and his wife got really mad and it turned into like this high speed chase throughout the neighborhood. Like his wife was chasing him? He was chasing her because... On foot or in the car?

In the car. They went on like a high speed chase because he was trying to stop her from freaking out. So just around this picturesque, wealthy golf course community, they had this high speed pursuit? Yes. And where did the police get involved? Yeah, they got involved and arrested. I remember the youngest son called the cops on him and then they arrested Warren Moon.

And then I think he got off and it was fine. And at that time, you were... Daddy, daddy, what's happening outside, daddy? Daddy. There's sirens, daddy. They hurt my noise. I always make fun of Koalic and say that he never touched the ground at his point because Quell Valley sounds like a very nice place to grow up.

It does sound like a great place. It was a nice place to grow up. Surrounded with celebrities. Yeah, it was great. And let me give some history between Koalic and I. Koalic joined the... We met each other at UCB. Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.

Upright Citizens Brigade. Los Angeles. And we met in improv class. Which level was it at, was it? One. Was it one? Okay. And then, yeah, we were in one-on-one together and we went through all the levels together.

And then we started doing Not Too Shabby at UCB, which is this open mic sketch show. And we formed the group, the birthday boys, and they were like, we're thinking of asking this guy, Matt, to be in the group. And my response was, no, I don't like him at all. He shouldn't be in the group. I disliked this guy and then they added him. And then I disliked him and then he grew on me for God's sakes. I don't know how it happened, but he grew on me and annoyed me ever more from that day

on. And we became good buddies. Yeah. Yeah. And here we are to discuss Dominoes. And that's the end of our story together. Thanks, folks. So, at this chapter in your guys' relationship, so we're sitting here on the Doe Boys podcast,

discuss Dominoes pizza. Why did you, you chose Dominoes because it was a childhood favorite primarily then? Yeah. And also, I ate, I still eat it a lot. You still eat it? Yeah. Yeah. We say, because I still get Dominoes, I think that's probably my go-to chain pizza around

here. Mitch, how about you? Yeah. If I'm going to get chain pizza, it will usually be Dominoes, I'd say. Fresh Brothers has kind of made a move on me. A lot of people hate Fresh Brothers. I wonder how widespread Fresh Brothers is because their whole thing is there, I feel like, a little bit of a higher class, a little bit of a higher price point in terms of their

pizza. Yeah. I think there's none on the East Coast that I know of. Okay. For me, Dominoes growing up was this place that was like one of the first delivery places I remember. It was 30 minutes or less when we were here. 30 minutes or less was a big part of it.

The Noid was a cartoon that I liked, a little funny character that I liked. I remember Dominoes had buffalo wings first, if you remember, there was so much stuff with Dominoes. They had good wings at first, and then they also had those sandwiches for a little while. The Italian sandwich, I loved it. Is this later on? Yeah, this was like middle school era. Oh, okay.

Because I remember the wings specifically when I was like, remember, like, gotta be, gotta be Dominoes, buffalo wings, oh my god. Oh my god. Koalic bailed me out, and Nick was looking at it like a huge asshole. Well, they have done a lot of marketing over the years. I mean, you touched on it real quick, but I think their signature character, their signature creation was the Noid. I'll play a little bit of this Noid commercial to refresh everyone's memories, but we certainly

remember this little claymation guy from the late 80s, early 90s, I think was a time frame. So, he was basically this little like rabbit slash, I think he had like rabbit ears, but he was a man wearing a skin tight red suit, and the motto was avoid the Noid, because he seemed to make, the thing he seemed to derive the most pleasure from was ruining pizzas. Yeah, that was his occupation, was pizza ruiner. It was kind of like a, it was like a play on a Noid because of all the things that would annoy you about ordering from other places, and he represented all the other places.

Yeah, he was the Noid, but you were annoyed by him, and so you wanted to try to avoid him. Yeah. I'm pretty sure if we took the Noid's mask off, it would be Koalic. I feel like sometimes I'm the Noid of your life. Yeah, you kind of are the Noid of my life. Yeah, I mean, I guess that works. That's such a funny thing like where's the beef and the Noid are such funny 80s, or

even, yeah, I think it was just 80s campaigns that like I'm like, oh, it's so unnecessary now. It's like Spud Mackenzie. Spud Mackenzie was great. Whatever. The California raisins to get us to eat raisins. The claymation, I guess, was pretty big at that point. Max Headroom.

I've kind of gotten away from, because it used to be you'd have a mascot like that, and he was just sort of earnestly like, I'm the Noid, I'm going to ruin pizzas. And if they did that these days, he'd have like this layer of irony or self-awareness on top of himself, and so he'd kind of be like, yeah, I ruined pizzas. Like I know it's weird, you know, kind of winky and kind of breaking the fourth wall a little bit. Yeah. He didn't know it was weird back then.

Yeah, exactly. And it just kind of would suck, and I don't know, I mean, like I really like that era when like fucking Toucan Sam was just, I'm Toucan Sam, that's all there is to it. I don't have a Twitter persona where I'm trying to, you know, be ironic and jump on trending topics or whatever. I'm just sort of earnestly a mascot for Froot Loops. This is the funniest like wishing for the old days. Aw, I wish Toucan Sam would come back to the way he was.

Count Chocula. What did you say? I'm trying to say Count Chocula, but I think I had a stroke. Oh my God. Yeah, no, the... The earnest mascot. Yeah, I liked that. I agree with that.

I kind of, I liked the Noiden, and it shows people liked them. There were video games. There was a bunch of stuff with the Noid that... It's crazy, and Koala and I talked about this briefly before the podcast, but this is a thing that you'll find on the Noid's Wikipedia page, which is insane, which is, Matt, you have a little bit more context for the story. Do you want to tee it up? Basically what it is, is that the Noid was sort of everywhere, was ubiquitous for a while,

and then he abruptly disappeared, Domino stopped using him from their marketing campaigns. Well, they stopped using him for a more specific reason. Oh, yes. Do you want to go over this? Yeah, we can get into that. I heard about this thing. Yeah. Okay.

Didn't someone... Decline of the Noid. Decline of the Noid. Yeah. On January 30th, 1989, Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally ill customer who thought the ads were a personal attack on him, held two employees of an Atlanta Domino's restaurant in hostage for over five hours. After forcing them to make him a pizza and making demands for $100,000, a getaway transportation,

and a copy of The Widow's Son, Noid eventually surrendered to police. There's some more here in the middle, and then he was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Noid spent three months in a mental institution and eventually committed suicide in 1995. This incident caused Domino's Pizza to discontinue advertising using the Noid as their mascot. Oh, my God. That's such a sad ending. I was ready to have...

But don't worry. They brought him back in 2000 and not... All right. What a happy ending. The Noid came back. Yeah. The story wasn't really sad because the Noid went away, but because the real Noid went away.

Oh, I thought you were sad because of the Noid went away. No, no. I'm sad because the real Noid went away from the Earth. It's a very sad... That's so fucked up and sad. I mean, his last name was Noid. Was Noid, and so when they were saying avoid the Noid, he thought they were specifically targeting him.

Sure, and I'm sure anybody in his life was like, avoid the Noid when he's around him when he comes around. When the religions go, like, that's not super, I mean, that's crazy, but that's not super crazy. He's got the same name. It's not like thinking he's Jesus, you know? Yeah. I feel like...

Yeah, he didn't think he was the Noid. I don't think the Noid himself would have done well if the other Noid was never invented. I feel like he seems like kind of a, maybe a guy who had some issues, but... He would have latched onto something else. Yeah. He would have thought like the Soggies from Captain Crunch were caricatures of him or something. I don't know though.

Held at the General Mills factory. Robert A. Soggie. I don't like to make... I don't want to make light of this man who's, who killed himself. All right. I kind of wish that he had, like, transformed into a real life Noid and, like, destroyed pizzas or something. Like, I wish there was...

I think we all do. I wish there was more fun to it than what was the sad reality. Yeah, that would have been... That would have been a little more lighthearted. Yeah. Well, rest in peace, Mr. Noid, and rest in peace to the regular Noid. Moving on. God, that's a...

That to me is, like, just a... Marketing flub. It's not even a marketing flub. It's not, though. It's just an insanely specific thing that happened that no one could have predicted. That's not really their fault. It's not like they're... Okay.

So, the company came out with a toy that was, like... Like it was, like, a hammer, like a toy hammer that you wap your friends in the crotch with, and then kids started using real hammers to, like, hit their friends in the crotch and, like, injured each other. That would be the sort of thing, like, okay, I could predict this happening. I could extrapolate this, but you can't anticipate that someone with a name Noid is going to think that these ads are a personal attack on them. Well, it's been, like, six or seven years.

Okay, good point. Yeah. You know what? You could see how uncomfortable it may be for whatever reason there was no need to... Well, I didn't mean to make it dark. I was just saying what happened. It's crazy that it happened. Also, I like this idea of a toy hammer that little boys hit each other in their genitals.

I think you could make millions off the water. I've been pitching it to Fisher Price. They're not biting. They're like, you need to make it a screwdriver. Like, that makes no sense. Well, to bring this from this dark area that it's gotten into, Friday nights were my pizza nights. Always.

TGIF pizza. That's the way it was. TGIF and pizza. It was huge. I remember being younger and we ordered Domino's and it took a really long time, actually. I remember us ordering it. This might have been one of my first delivery experiences. I was like seven years old and my family and we had friends over.

We pretended this whole thing when the delivery man came to the door. We were a weird family. Wish we were, anyways, but it was Domino's pizza and Domino's is just as that nostalgic factor of as long as I remember delivery, I remember Domino's pizza since I was six or seven years old. It was the job of all the irresponsible teen drivers in the neighborhood. They were all super whipping around with that light on the top of their car and making it to your house in 30 minutes or less.

Eventually it became, I think that there were a lot of crashes and a lot of tickets and so eventually it took away the 30 minutes or less because it was too dangerous for the drivers. Yeah, Matt, it sounds like you, like me, paid a visit to the Domino's Wikipedia page in advance of this recording and there's some very dark stuff in there in addition to the noise thing. The noise thing is the darkest. But the 30 minutes or less, the same thing.

This was also discontinued because too many drivers were getting in car crashes because they were rushing to the scene to try to not get fired from their job. Well, let's personalize it. Let's hear from one of you two about some certain guy who died in a fiery crash. No, that's crazy. I feel like I never, because that deal must have been early on. It was early on and then they discontinued it, but like the Noid, they brought it back in the form of, they rephrased it as, you've got 30 minutes.

So no longer a guarantee where you'd be awarded with a free pizza. Oh, okay. Now they're good with the pizza trackers, so you kind of know where you're at. Oh my God, I love the pizza tracker. I gotta say, that's most of my motivation for ordering Domino's these days because growing up, we were a Pizza Hut family and before that, we were a Roundtable Pizza family. I'm not sure if Roundtable Pizza is in Houston or in Quincy, Massachusetts. I've never, I've never had Roundtable Pizza, but I've heard of it.

It might just be a regional California thing or a West Coast thing, but we had got Roundtable Pizza for a while, then a pizza hut opened up closer. My dad was always too cheap to get delivery, so we would drive to the physical place and since the pizza hut was closer, we get Pizza Hut more often. But as an adult, I gravitated towards Domino's and yeah, the pizza tracker, which they started to invent I think in 2008, now it's on mobile, is an amazing thing where it's just like in real time, step by step, you can see like how your pizza is being prepared, what stage it is, what stage it's at, when it's out for delivery or if you're gonna go pick it up,

you can sort of time when you should leave to go pick it up. It's fantastic. I used it last night, I was just like, this is so, I've used it so many times, but last night, every time I use it, it's like this is the first time, I feel so excited about it. Let's not forget all the many themes that you can pick. Yeah, you can alternate themes. Can you do that on the mobile?

I know you can do that on the laptop. I don't know. I haven't gone mobile with it yet. The mobile works great. The mobile is really great and it's like one of the, I think it was like one of the early pizza apps or whatever. Yeah. I think it's still the best too.

I never really watch it and see it, like I never look at when it's gonna be there. I do if it's ever taking a while, but I will say Domino's is so fast. It's always like going to be there within 30 minutes. I don't even worry about it. I think it's always gonna be delicious. It really is. They really are pretty efficient. Not always.

Not always. Well, you know. I was using the Domino's Pizza Tracker last night when I ordered my meal in preparation for this and there's a feature on the mobile version where you can leave a note of encouragement to the team making your order and these are the options. Keep up the good work. You're my favorite Domino's team members. I love Domino's.

You guys rock. I use this one. Thank you for making my lunch. Thanks for making my dinner. You are my pizza heroes. This next one I think is the one that gets your pizza spit on. Treat my order like it's the most important one in the world. I want to send that one.

Thanks for all your hard work and then I don't know what I would do without you. Which is that your life's in a bad place and that's the one you're sending over. I mean if your life's probably in a bad place anyway if you're ordering Domino's. Coming from the man who loves to order Domino's. I'm not saying my feelings don't taste like Domino's. Oh my God. I think that so I said this a lot on the show but Domino's I think is one of those places that kind of dipped in quality and at one point they were.

They did cook their pizza in ovens right like they're like I feel like there was a change to where they became a conveyor belt pizza place which they are now where they just put the pizza on a conveyor belt and it cooks and it's in a way they haven't looked inside a Domino's kitchen you're saying that it doesn't actually they don't slide it into an oven and take it out it goes through a conveyor belt I think I think yeah I think it goes through like a like a that's like an oven can I mean it is like an oven yes there's like what keeps up your quiz nose yes not like they're taking a frozen pizza and then microwaving there no I think I think I think I think though there is a weird thing

with what like pizza you get there I think there's some hand so I got the handmade pizza the hand toss the hand toss sorry they talk about how that is like a pizza dough that they like that they like make them sit like they put out themselves mm-hmm so that makes me like so as other one are the other ones frozen I don't know here's the other thing about Domino's there's a lot of like mystery about it because no one goes in and eats inside of a Domino's you just get delivered Domino's to me is like one of the places like one of the only places that is like strictly like strictly delivery yeah I would never go in a Domino's store front yeah I remember that you there was the option to in the Quincy

Domino's but they were like three seats you could just sit there and eat but I think that it's changed I think it used to be an oven and then I think it turned into like one of those conveyor belt ovens which there's a big difference between the two but there is something where you know a lot of Domino's I don't think have any dining area if they do it's like a superficial one or two tables and no one's ever eating there versus Pizza Hut for a time was trying to be like this big like his or this is a restaurant you go to and you sit down and you order pizza and we'll bring you like a picture of coke that you'll share for the table and there's a lot of Pizza Hut's that still have that old architecture where

they have like a lunch buffet to sustain themselves during daytime hours when deliveries aren't as high Domino's never did that they've always been sort of like a like this is just a stop and shop location I think they're just like here come pick up your pizza if you're gonna physically come here for whatever reason or we'll deliver it for you yeah it's basically an oven with a storefront yeah yeah that and and I think it was it was tops for a long time being from Boston area Puppa Geno's was kind of maybe my first real pizza love that was like a it's a kind of a small chain and in the England area but Domino's they really just they were they were firing on all cylinders and then they had the the Buffalo wings which

just kind of like change things up because I think I feel like forever it was kind of like oh pizza and breadsticks was all any place would do and yeah and and and and that changed everything but then Domino's did have a slump like they admitted to the world that their food was bad which is the craziest thing for any change or is it the bravest it is I mean it works for them I feel like I feel like it I feel like I never really changed anything well you could say that we did and then people like I believe I taste I'm actually curious because because this was a campaign they had a few years ago where they basically had all these ads where the CEO of Domino's or their executives there's the chefs who

work there would come out and be like you know they'd read like customer feedback and it would be like a bite of a Sally from Oklahoma City I got a pizza and I ordered it with no olives and it had olives and they'd like turn it to camera be like this is unacceptable and they talk about all their reforms they rebuilt their sauce from the ground up they had a new red like a new cheese blend they have like new like everything changed were you able to Koalic as a Domino's connoisseur are you able to tell a difference in pre that reform campaign and the currently as Domino's the new Domino's is I think that they made a change at first and I didn't like it all that much and then they've slowly slipped

back to where they were and now everyone's happy again do you mean in terms of quality level in terms of service in terms of everything I think just food quality level I think the service has always been good and they have good customer service and they send you a million coupons every time you order a pizza now I got a question why do they say they have good customer service well because if you have a problem with your pizza and call them up and maybe let them know are you driving at something here Mitch yeah I am what okay let's see out with it so I guess this I feel like this is probably we have two stories to tell I feel like living together I think there was times where you're like let's go

here no let's go here and I remember this one time I was like I don't want to eat fucking Domino's because I love Domino's but already we're all annoyed I love Domino's but what if I am gonna eat Domino's I want you know I gotta be craving Domino's like it's like that Taco Bell thing sure if I if I if I'm in the mood for a good pizza I'll get good pizza if I'm in the mood for like Domino's and I'll get Domino's but I was trying to go to this other place called garage pizza no way and garage pizza if you know it is good I like garage pizza yeah and I was like oh garage pizza yeah it's a good place and I was like let's get garage pizza and he was like yeah he didn't have he was like I don't

know and I was like let's just do it and he's like yeah and then I was like let's just do it so we got it because and he really wanted Domino's and the pizza comes takes a bite of it and goes yeah and I was like fuck you fucking asshole yeah but then there was this other time and I actually end up I I love you for any story because you're ridiculous but this one was this one made me very happy with Koala like we ordered Domino's pizza it comes and we got a thin crust and another one that wasn't a thin crust and we open up the thin crust and clock is like this is burnt or whatever and it was like it's really burnt and I was like it looks like regular Domino's to me and I started eating it he disappears for me I didn't

even know where he went and I just hear him on the phone in the other room complaining to Domino's we get a full free order of Domino's pizza everything for free they got they refunded us right that's right so it worked out well yeah that seems sounds like an endorsement for his customer service to testimonial yeah but I also want to repeat that I think the pizza was just like normal to me I was like this just looks like a delicate process making thin crust and like they don't it's not like they always send you a burnt one they send you a well-cooked well your connoisseur of Domino's too I don't I don't know I will say that when I ordered my hand toss pie yeah I wish you were around because it came and the the top of the delivery box was

mushed into the pizza and the I mean the Noid got it the noise has a pizza crusher that's his thing it's like a pogo stick but it's a pizza crusher so well the noise crushed my he jumped on my pizza he's back he's he got it he got it pretty he got it pretty good I do want to say though about Domino's my favorite do you want me to do I talk about my favorite order oh yeah please okay yeah obviously uh my favorite order of all time and is the thin crust with pepperoni sausage and mushroom yes they do do a really nice thin crust there and so good it's like you know it's not like a new york style thin crust it's more of like a crispy sort of crackery crust I'd say yeah very much like a cracker but it's very good very satisfying I really like

that thin crust and and I can put away one of those by myself I could easily eat a medium medium yeah that's what I thought that's no problem like a large you could probably eat in one sitting you can also eat one of those things like fast they're like oh yeah you can just toss them down they're like communion wafer style they're they're they're they're so thin and and tiny and they do the cross cut they do they sort of divide it up into in a grid instead of a bisect yeah it's a little tiny pieces so it's kind of fun you get some square shapes you get some little triangles that's pretty always pretty good with uh some banana peppers on it too oh yeah um I went to domino actually got domino's last night uh and I I got it for pickup and I used a coupon so I ended

up with a large 14 inch hand-tossed Philly cheesesteak uh pizza who nice which has I hadn't had before it was it was nice is shredded provolone cheese mushrooms green peppers onions philly cheesesteak and american cheese um I also order their specially chicken which is uh separate from their wings this is a newer item that's kind of like a breaded chicken kind of a nugget kind of a chicken strip kind of in between the two that has some toppings on it I went with a spicy jalapeno pineapple just because I was like this looks bananas this isn't something I'd normally get but I feel like yeah I feel like I have to evaluate this is it in my duty as a as a doughboy's host um so it came with jalapeno peppers uh and pineapple on top of it um and sort of had this this sort of sweetness and

and spiciness a little bit of heat to it kind of like they're they have a fiery Hawaiian pizza and it kind of had some some similarities to that in terms of flavor profile um and and this is just a thing that I've experienced in my life with domino's I like it but no place has fucked up my orders more consistently because I asked for a garden fresh salad uh with some blue cheese dressing instead I received a medium pan pizza with chicken black olives mushrooms and no sauce that sounds like a salad kind of I mean also it's like aren't you sure you don't mean you want another pizza like you call domino's it did feel kind of like a little a little bit of like a wink or a nudge towards me because I just gone on like a you know this is one of those things

where I had happened to go on a run last night I went on like a five and a half mile run I worked up a good sweat and I was like ah I'm gonna get myself some domino's and then I was like I'll have a little bit of salad a little something lighter and then they gave me a second pizza I was like fuck man here we go that's like pizza yeah good for them I'm happy they did that too I will say that the audacity of you to order a domino salad is insane well again I think like you know I want to evaluate a salad because I think I think from a I don't know if I've gotten a domino salad before but I think there is some utility in just in finding out whether it's quality or not because let's say you're having a party and there's some people who oh I don't eat bread I got a gluten

allergy or whatever hey knowing whether their salad is at least serviceable is helpful unfortunately I wasn't able to evaluate that for our listeners but um I have a feeling it's probably just a bunch of iceberg I would say yeah it looked like it was kind of like an eye like a a spring mix blend or whatever at least based on the picture of the website the sort of the bag thing you would get from a grocery store um but uh the pizza the Philly cheesesteak pizza for a specialty pizza I thought not bad have you guys had that one before I I've had Philly cheesesteak pizzas the domino's dominoes does a good one it's a pretty decent execution I haven't had that but I remember I went away from dominoes for a little bit and then I was like in college or something my friend Chris

Wilson uh was like hey like we should get a bacon cheeseburger pizza from dominoes and I was like I don't know and then I had it and I thought it was really really good I think in general I've had I haven't had as I've had more hits than misses with their specialty pizzas I think right now they call it the American legend series um and they've got like you know like a Wisconsin six cheese which sounds pretty safe the fiery Hawaiian which I've mentioned they use that word legend pretty that's for sure um but uh I overall though those different ones I've tried I've enjoyed all of them or enjoyed most of them there's certainly been some that maybe it might have been misfires so Mitch what what is your standard domino's order what did you get last time so I uh well it's

funny because I I love dominoes and the thing that they did change koalak they did put the garlicky flavor on the crust that is a thing I still oh yeah I do like actually like that because I feel like the crust has some nice eatability it's not like oh it's a chore to eat dominoes yeah dominoes is the only people that didn't screw up their crust throughout throughout the years like pizza hut ruin their crust and I mean they tried to they stuck cheese in and that was all right and then they just like new recipe and then Papa John's is just like the wettest sloppiest pizza you'll ever get like it's never cooked well fuck Papa John himself anyway right but that's a that's for another episode Papa John the man is a contemptible human being yeah he's he's bad it seems like if

you're gonna make yourself the face of the franchise like we talked last time about the Carl's Jr. Hardy CEO who seems like kind of a contemptible human being but he's not like he didn't also make himself the mascot he's in like hey I'm a big old piece of shit come eat at my restaurant he's sort of like in the shadows and we'll give an interview to business week where he sounds kind of nefarious but Papa John's is like at the forefront like he has more lines in Papa John's commercial than the celebrity he's paired with and also he's just an awful man and he tries to be friends with Peyton Manning all the time yeah strange I don't like that guy uh but I kind of like that maybe maybe uh maybe the noid is the owner maybe that's who's under the hood who knows uh

that's kind of the work his way up the ranks he works I feel like a cover boss I feel like they're the we saw the owner or one of the higher ups in the commercial where they were apologizing for how bad their food has been but I kind of like that it's like a there is no guy attached to it you uh because I don't like that pressure I might not like that guy so I'd rather have the noid in the ghost of the man who killed himself because of the noid be the representation for what that company is you know instead of instead of an actual man yeah what they're saying basically that this is who we're gonna put out at front and center for our company as our mascot is someone who's working to destroy us but we are strong enough as an entity that we

can triumph over this guy and humiliate him which is just an interesting bit of corporate messaging and and I like that I like that they're just like hey this is this this villain who wants to fuck with us we're dominoes it's not gonna happen yeah it's like without even calling out who their competitors are they're all competitors are the noise they're all personified in this one little claymation guy and because it's like a rule of marketing where I'm a marketing major and like though a rule of marketing is that the the market leader never ever mentions the competition but all competition will mention the leader interesting you're a marketing major now yeah the Santa Monica Community College do you want to give a shout out to any adjunct professors who you like

you know um no okay I sleep through most of the classes oh boy um well I got myself a medium handmade pan pizza okay and on one half I got pepperoni on the other half I got cheese Matt knows this is about me you're like a real two-faced from Batman I am kind of like two-faced from Batman that's how he orders them that's a cut scene from Dark Knight is it really yeah he ordered the order to dominoes pizza half pepperoni half cheese are you sure about this Matt worked for legendary pictures and uh it was a scene I wrote that was maybe thrown out immediately when your boss saw it yeah this is my one note on Instagram if that scene had why doesn't two-faced orders a pizza with two different toppings that scene would not at all

have been out of place in Batman forever the Joel Schumacher Batman if like the Tommy Lee Jones two-faced at some point there'd been a little bit of branded integration where he'd gotten a dominoes pizza with one half of bad toppings and one half of healthy toppings that would have been fine for that movie yeah I feel like yeah you were born uh you're born too late you should have been writing stuff for the Schumacher uh old Schumacher um so I got yeah half pepperoni half cheese you know I'm a cheese enthusiast I like to have cheese a pizza when I and I don't know if that bothered you but I've always kind of are you an extra cheese guy no I don't get extra cheese too often me neither sometimes I mean like something like uh if I've had an extra cheese

somewhere and it's really good I'll do it but just regular cheese pizza because I feel like it's the basis and I like to try the basis and I just read I just enjoy cheese pizza and I'm a big cheese pizza guy I won't necessarily order it frequently mode if it's available at like a party situation or if it's like a bite by the slice place and I can get a plain slice I'm all for it yeah me call it cheese pizza you're on board pizza all the way it's great usually otherwise I'll just be like pepperoni okay I'm not gonna try to throw a bunch of toppings on people I'll do pepperoni but I will say that I got so the the the handmade pan pizza half of it was pepperoni and pepperoni kind of tasted a little off actually a part of it could have been because the box was mushed into it

which uh it tasted a little bit like box it was it would taste it a little bit I don't even know what your joke I like a cheese pepperoni and box well I feel like some of the complaints about that was a totally a pizza box joke okay good thank you god um uh I feel like a a lot of complaints about dominoes is that it's can be cardboardy or whatever and I think that's something that happened even more over time but I got the handmade pizza which actually tastes more like pizza hut kind I would say that their their cardboard boxes taste like cardboard oh my fucking god but they're damn it koalic please god uh please god take this man away like he took the noid away um and uh and then um so that I don't know if you guys have had that I

don't know if you've had the the handmade pan pizza but it kind of is similar to a pizza hut style like uh it's a little bit of a deeper dish a little bit but not too much it's not like a deep dish pizza but it's like a little bit kind of more heft to it exactly it kind of has like a like a crispy edge to it but no real crust yeah it's kind of like baked into the pan I have ordered it before and coincidentally the pizza I got by mistake yesterday was was a pan pizza and with no sauce which I would say no sauce and a pan pizza is a very very doughy pizza oh that's very overwhelmed by dough and then the other thing I got was uh I got a stuffed cheesy bread um which I really love their stuffed cheesy bread it's really really good it also just feels like like where you just

get the most cheese per bite and also the marinara dipping sauce is great I got two marinara dipping sauce I will say that I always got to add an extra sauce or two you got to get a couple of them but the sauce is a little tangy it's a little strange I feel like it's different from the actual pizza sauce yeah itself like uh it that comes in little uh and it comes in like these little containers it doesn't complement it as much as it used to yeah they come in these plastic containers that I feel like you don't even need to refrigerate I feel like they just are they are fine you need a refrigerator do you really yeah you figure that out over time that's strange yeah you don't order an extra for the leftovers well I mean yes of course and I had leftovers but you don't think ahead oh my god

shut the fuck up see you understand what I'm saying about him now for our listeners I'm physically restraining Mitch throwing haymakers at koala damn it fidgeting around so angrily um the the stuff cheesy bread is great they do you remember this happened actually this is where I look like a bad man they forgot my marinara dipping sauces and you should have told me how to call them I told the guy I was like hey you forgot these can you go back and get them I tipped them and then when I came back with him I gave him like 10 bucks and I got made fun of really bad from jack it was jack was living there at the time but it happened more than once and I was like it just is a sort of thing of like if you brought me a pizza without sauce on it I would be like no I I'm not gonna eat it and

that's kind of my issue with it but uh I got I got a lot of grief for for telling the guy to go back I also I might add that the dominoes is like was like uh just buy some prego and have it at the side no I don't have I don't have any sauce but the the dominoes is like is like 20 feet from our it's very close to our it's it's like a two blocks away you shouldn't feel bad about sending them back I do feel bad god no it's two it's literally three blocks but I will say though I agree with koala that have some sauce on standby not even not a marinara like a like a ranch or a blue cheese just some sort of all-purpose dipping sauce some barbecue I think would maybe work you're right all right but listen it's like bringing a pizza with no sauce that and I paid for it it's not like

bringing a pizza with no sauce I agree it's like bringing a pizza with no extra sauce no no if for for if for cheesy bread if you don't have sauce then you can't eat it like I like I don't want to eat it there's cheese yeah but that's not what I need the sauce I need the sauce sure I mean yeah you want you want the sauce what the fuck I mean you want the sauce I don't need like it's not a need thing I gave the guy ten bucks he loved me it was fine great eating new best friend go eat cheesy bread oh my god I also got a orange bottle of orange 20 ounce orange oh you gotta get the soda it's two liter usually oh you gotta get the soda what are you talking about when you're out of the soda you gotta do me I got myself an orange soda I love a nice orange soda sometimes I went

well with what are you gonna drink water with pizza no you can't again I would just say I I think have some drinks on standby sure I feel like have we're adults we should have some drinks on a 12 pack of sodas in your fridge you don't have to order a drink from Domino's I don't stock up like some weird end of the world man I'm not ready for the apocalypse I get my food and the apocalypse comes and I want to soda I'm not going to your house oh my god dear god I wish we could put you into a bomb shelter right now Matt me too do you see what I lived with do you see why there was tension when we were together I think a lot of it's coming from you yeah you know what because he doesn't shut the fuck up it's on the reaction oh man um anyways uh it was it was it was good everything

was good besides the box kind of getting on the pizza and I was like kind of be like oh should I call them but I was like no and they brought my two sauces and the the cheesy bread was great he should have brought you extra sauces if he's like but not to be an asshole about it like if I was him and I was a teenager I probably like here's some salsa but I brought you 10 oh because I'm like yeah here's your fucking sauce but I don't think you care and I also wasn't probably the same guy who's some other guy who uh who has moved on or something sure um you don't think it's the exact same pizza guy who many years ago forgot your sauce I don't think it is okay um Matt uh you eat dominoes pretty frequently do you remember your last uh your most recent dominoes meal

yeah probably about a week ago what do you remember what you got at all I get my uh classic order which is the thin crust I don't really I don't at this point like I'm not I don't really go after their uh their legends you settle into a group you know what you like I'm a creature of habit yeah yeah I get that because you know if I'm if I'm gonna go and get a mcdonald's meal I'll go big mac meal pretty much every time that's pretty cool I mean you still get a bag of big mac yeah I'm just sort of like I that's what I like for mcdonald's I'll get the consistently someone hit siri what just happened that was me I ruined the podcast it's all right or before siri came on but I get that there is something very comforting once you sort of

found your order at a chain and you're just like this is what I'm gonna get I don't have a reason to deviate that would be kind of my thing of the philly cheesesteak pizza like if you're craving that specific thing get that but I also don't necessarily see a reason to get that over what you would normally get like if you're like hey I like pepperoni and mushrooms and and green peppers I don't know why you would want to get the philly cheesesteak from dominoes over your regular order you know it unless you guess you want to change a pace or you want to impress somebody or whatever I didn't get behind that you didn't do it to impress people for sure impress people with a domino's order yeah you're like hey you want to see how adventurous of an

eater I am maybe you ever tasted an American legend I did you in so did you enjoy your chicken okay so this is the thing about the specialty chicken have you guys had this before I have and I enjoy I got the buffalo version and I enjoyed it so I wonder what you I bet the buffalo I bet the buffalo version is better because buffalo wings are just going to be better than chicken with spicy jalapeno pineapples on top of it this weird sort of I guess sort of a panasian slash Caribbean sort of sauce it was it was a little strange it was fine it was more edible than I anticipated you hear you hear I need combining pineapples and jalapenos it sounds a little suspect but it was pretty good but I don't know why I'd get these over wings I think I

feel like I'd just rather have buffalo wings every time see I when dominoes came out they came out they were delicious when they came out I thought they were were decent but I remember eating them then and be like hmm these aren't as good as other wings I've had but they were the only wings in the game I felt like and then as time gone has gone on like they're bone-in wings I'm not the biggest fan of the dominoes ones they're very fatty they make the boneless ones now too they mean I love the boneless ones I'm a fan because they're just like nuggets right but the bone in the bone in ones I remember I like it was a short little honeymoon period for me with with those and now I'll eat them if they're around but they're just they're so fatty yeah well I mean I still like them I don't

think they're the best wings you can get anywhere but as far as pairing pizza with wings a pizza place that has wings I think they're good and I think they get the job done fair enough it is interesting that I think within our lifetimes pizza pizza plus wings has become a thing right that wasn't always like you know you get pizza and you're gonna get some wings for sure that sort of became a recent a more recent pairing and I think that was dominoes doing yes yeah they totally would upsell yeah yeah that that that that was the thing I think what by the time I was like 12 or 13 it was definitely we're gonna get pizza and wings there was the combo that kind of happened which I like it really goes well again it's kind of like the fries as fries are to burgers

I feel like wings kind of have become the pizza that's a great analogy I 100 agree with and that was also kind of talking about Friday night you know Friday night pizza which for you I think you said it was Sunday right you you were Sunday night pizza we wouldn't we wouldn't consistently get pizza on Friday night Sunday nights yeah it would probably happen more likely there but I wouldn't say that was like a regular ritual or anything because I mean this is going back to my grandma's house we get pizza and go over there and watch the tgif line up and it was just it was a very wonderful time in my life and beautiful and then as I got older yeah I mean that's what you look forward to getting out of school you're like it's still what I look forward

to uh sadly I still I still look forward to doing I love pizza and the tgif lineup and the tgif I watch old vhs tapes of the tgif lineup dinosaurs and so on um but uh the as as time went on and they my family also became wings and pizza we we uh we we we guys evolved we evolved with the changing times and I think you're right I think dominoes had a lot to do with that the times are changing guys I think it's time I think it's time our first character on the dough boys podcast pizza and wings oh boy the times have changed and dominoes has evolved with them and I think the time has come in our podcast for us to give our verdicts on dominoes so uh what we're going to do

matt is we're going to give a brief summation of what are our general thoughts on dominoes as a franchise as a restaurant and then give your rating on a scale of one to five forks okay so we'll start with you all right well um I think dominoes is a tried and true pizza joint that's been there for us um ever since we knew that pizza was our favorite food and I think that today it's still a great uh thing to order uh especially if you have some friends over you're watching the game you are uh watching a drama or whatever wow sounds like fun get all the friends together and watch watch a drama let's watch drama come over and let's watch a drama okay man see you then I'm ordering dominoes

remains of the day is on netflix instant let's get all my bros together as he's being loaded into the mental hospital next to the annoyed man right no I I like it I think that it's a great uh it's even better now that you don't have to actually interact by calling and them not hearing you correctly where you can just order online using a computer and when you got the great pizza tracker let you know exactly where you are and where your order's at and when it's coming yep and usually you only order dominoes when you're starving and out of ideas so you need it quick I think and um you know I'm gonna I'm gonna give it four forks okay nice four forks go ahead Mitch well like I said there's so much about pizza Friday night pizza and and what it

means to me and and and what an important thing in my life it was and it truly was and I and I if I ever have shitty little kids one day I'll want to give them a Friday night pizza night too and and treat them like I like I was treated and and I really loved it and enjoyed it so and dominoes had has been a part of that for so long they they kind of uh they changed the delivery game they were they were they were they were they're just they've just always been around if like you said if you want dominoes you can get it and it will be there within a half an hour and they're open pretty late and they're pretty consistent uh I don't think it's necessarily really good pizza I I think that there's a lot better pizza to get always but to me it kind of

hits that Taco Bell zone where I'm like yeah I know I can get a good burrito I know it can get good Mexican food but I like Taco Bell and I can and when I get it I I really want I'm craving that sort of thing and I and I want that and and uh and dominoes kind of hits that for me and it does a lot of different things cheesy bread the buffalo bites and the pizza and they have a couple different styles it's good I do think that quality has also declined too and but they've adapted you know like uh that's a huge thing they've adapted with the pizza tracker and all that stuff and the only way that you can really survive as a big business is if you adapt to the changing times and I I think that they have so with all that being said I'm going to give it four forks as

well I love I love dominoes well four forks I like dominoes I characterize myself as a dominoes fan as chain pizzas go it was probably my go-to I love the pizza tracker I have I have to be emphatic here the pizza tracker is so great one might say you love it too much I'm probably a little too into the pizza tracker I get I get genuinely excited like I get distracted from whatever other task I have because I just want to look at look for updates I want to see you know when Hugo is placing my order into the oven like I get so excited every time we move to a new step there and it's so such an underappreciated part of that I think that Matt touched on is you don't have to talk to anybody to put in your order because I man having to make a phone call

do a place and place your pizza order is just such a bummer for me that will keep me from getting delivery from this place if I can't do it online the dominoes pizza tracker I've got a great interface the coupons are integrated it makes things very painless and I'm getting real time updates I love it to me that that's reason enough to get dominoes I also think their pizza is not the best but it does fit a specific craving certainly if you live in an area like New York City or Chicago or certainly LA is experiencing something of a pizza renaissance there are better pizzas you can get but from a chain pizza standpoint I think dominoes is pretty solid however I have to reiterate no restaurant chain I've ever eaten at in my life has been more

consistent at fucking up my orders than dominoes and they do have customer service they're very pleasant I feel like their drivers and the the in-store employees you interact with are generally pleasant and helpful but just mistakes get made for whatever reason my wife hadn't or deal with a pizza that she ordered from a dominoes and we have since stopped ordering from the dominoes that's actually closest to our apartment because they just have it was just such a nightmare so we actually go out of our way to order from a further dominoes just because that individual stores such a problem and this further dominoes still doesn't get things right so because of that I have to deduct a star I just kind of know going in that dominoes is not going to be necessarily it's not necessarily going

to deliver if you will on the experience that I'm specifically requesting and for that reason dominoes for me gets a very respectable three forks wow that's pretty good wow I was on the edge of my seat it was so close to getting to the gold plate club and you really deny man I was going to get another four because you know I tell you on that vibe I was not trying I'm not trying to actively prevent it from getting to the golden plate club is a gold plate or golden plate the gold plate club can I okay I wasn't actively trying to prevent it but I I can't allow my judgment to be colored by the prospect of another entry in the gold plate club I just have to say what I honestly feel well can I one argument that you or you could think about is that no play I totally

believe you that no place is consistently messed up your order more but there's probably no place that you've consistently ordered food to go for a more in your life that's true so maybe percentage wise and I haven't done like yeah you're right I don't have a ratio that I've figured out of what was your you know earlier I said how much I love mode meeting and range you just send me the numbers what do they teach you in marketing school um I just I don't want to get into it bitch it's just a B reopening an old wound we just had a whole situation with the wrong pizza was brought the store had to be called a second pizza was sought out that was never delivered it's just a it's a fucking yarn that goes on and on and I just will have a special podcast dedicated to that that

nightmarish night at domino's pizza um but uh it's for another time all right all right that'll do it for a discussion on domino's pizza it's time for a new segment not a new segment it's time for a segment we've done before but a new portion of the show I have a mystery beverage and Mitch and koalek are going to try to guess what it is ooh it's the weigur challenge now guys I'm going to step out of the studio for a second to prep this I think this gives a day we've done this a couple times before and and when I left the studio or when I did it in studio some context clues were cleaned because of the shape of the bottle and whatnot so I'm going to I'm going to remove myself from the space so you can't tell what type of container this beverage is coming from

I'm going to bring it back in and two plastic cups while I am doing that you guys vamp for a little bit maybe there's another old beef you can discuss do you mind if we just sit in silence I don't mind our listeners might mind but uh but yeah I'll be I'll be back in one second well koalek I just want to let you know that uh I'm undefeated at the weigur challenge so far so how many challenges have there been though it sounds like there's been one maybe two before okay maybe three two maybe three mm-hmm what's your challenge when he is not challenging well he does all the work I I have no challenges I just eat the food I understand which is a challenge for me because I'm dieting yeah um how's that going it's going all right

you know uh I've been I've been running I've been going to our LA fitness quite a bit so I guess ordering dominoes was your cheat day it was but I also went to Vegas this weekend so this has been a fucking cheat week it has been it has not been good and I'm going home uh to Quincy this next week so I'm sure my mom's gonna be calling me chubby the whole time I'm home is that what happens yep your mom bullies you in a way you can say that cheese a little bit um are there any other beefs we have to squash I think you and I are pretty good I think you and I are cool yeah we're good I think that uh all beefs are silly beefs uh based on just me annoying you or vice versa yes and I know I hope I don't come off as too much of a jerk but uh no you also all don't know koalek

yeah and I don't know Mitch the way I know Mitch and so you know you know you miss Palmerston ever I uh yeah I miss is a different time of my life it was uh yeah happier I went I mean it was a happy time of my life I can't judge times until I've gone through all of them thank you well you know come back sometime clean up the place like you used to we'd love it goddamn right all right guys I'm back I've handed each of you a container of the mystery liquid uh go and describe for our listeners what you're seeing smelling sensing and tasting I'm seeing a brown uh soda with bubbles and it has the smell of a diet um I don't know if it has the smell of a diet but to me it has the smell of a coke product mm-hmm so that's kind of that's kind of what I think like which is to

even think of something like that but if you breathe it deeper you're like I could be Pepsi could be but I feel free to taste at your leisure here you go tastes like a regular coke wait or maybe it's a coke zero zero one I've never really had a coke zero one hmm that's a this is tough this is this is really tough because I feel like I'm gonna say it's a coke one or is that a thing coke zero I don't think it's coke zero coke zero Matt is that that your answer I'm gonna go with a regular Coca-Cola regular Coca-Cola Mitch your guess hold on this is really really tough to me I hope it's not just regular Coca-Cola I'm gonna be

I'll be shocked because it tastes a lot like Coca-Cola so there's a aftertaste though I feel like right or is it one of these store brand cokes and he's trying to trick us with that's kind of what I think it might be yeah all right I'm gonna need your answers Matt are you sticking with I'm gonna say off brand Coca-Cola knock off because store brand Coca-Cola yes Mitch I'm gonna go with the Coca-Cola brand I honestly don't I honestly don't know besides hold on one last taste I'm sorry I'm sorry to the listeners it's all right there's not a time limit only an implied one man my teeth are coated whatever the fuck that is

I'm gonna go I'm gonna go with coke I don't know know Mitch you have won the Weigar challenge oh man it is Coca-Cola classic of Mexican origin so it is sweetened with real sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup got us got me Mitch you are undefeated in the Weigar challenge you get the balance of the bottle oh great you can have a quality I think there's about three ounces left in that glass bottle of Mexican Coke out there delicious um that's a Weigar challenge just like a restaurant we value your feedback let's open up the feedback that was that was a tough one yeah I and now that you say it I'm like oh yeah it was a

Mexican Coke it is funny how much like your knowledge of what something is in advanced colors your taste like when there's like a blind taste test you're always like in your head a little bit of you can't quite trust your taste buds I'm strange all right today's email comes to us from Sean Cooter hope I'm cuter I'm sorry I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing your name Sean uh Sean K let's say the subject line is frank and meal uh dear dough boys my wife and I sometimes hop around to different restaurants to make a single meal with our favorites from each location we once went to in and out for a double double sonic for onion rings and dairy queen for a sundae what is your ultimate frank and meal that you have had or would like to have it's a great question Sean you know

we did had a frank and meal question on the podcast a few weeks ago but it was about building one from an individual restaurant and I like this angle of going to different restaurants to try and put something together either you guys ever done this no really I feel like I maybe have to had delivery from two different places before like one for wings and one for pizza like we were talking about um but yeah I'm never really good on them for for going out and it's an innovation yeah it's just it's that sort of thing of like when I get my food I just want to imagine the carbon footprint these guys are leaving for sure yeah I mean what I've definitely done is I've gotten a drink from one place and a meal from someplace else so that the most common thing I've done is

I've gotten a slurpee from 7-eleven and then gone and gotten like some food from Taco Bell or some food from McDonald's because I really like that that that's slurpee that's like a really satisfying drink that you can't really get the equivalent of at a fast food restaurant well I think um I guess if I was going to make one I would do I would get a whopper from Burger King and then fries from McDonald's and then like a shake from in and out if we're going to Frankenstein it like that oh yeah that'd be uh this is like quite a gambit to try and put because nobody has as good of fries as a McDonald's except maybe Wendy's because these is up there Burger King's fries are the worst ever since they double fried them yeah uh and Carl and Carl's uh slash Hardee's

has gross fries now too yeah I like I like the Carl's burger I've uh we we just did Carl's recently and I'm a fan but yeah this is a great question when I I think I said this on the podcast before maybe in the Taco Bell episode that in Quincy there was a Taco Bell KFC that was together and I would get myself like a chicken sandwich and then like a cheesy gordita crunch and it was great it was a good combo um now I feel like it would be like yeah maybe I get wings from a local wing place like eat rustic and then get like a some sort of Domino's pizza or something else but but yeah I don't know if I would ever go out of my way to to like drive around I've done what you've done before too and gotten a soda at 7-eleven and like maybe a bag of Doritos and then gotten

a sandwich but uh I've never actually gone to a different that that takes a lot of dedication I'm kind of uh impressed I'm really I'm no I'm really impressed by the by the gumption to just to both come up with that this idea and execute it I will as Shauna you've inspired me there is a Wendy's very close to a jack-in-the-box near my apartment and I am going to go and get myself a Baconator from Wendy's and then swing on over to Jack in the box and get myself some tacos and I think that that would be about curly fries oh boy fries are gonna be tough because they have these these abanero fries right now at the abanero cheese fries right now at Wendy's that are pretty satisfying but I do like those jack-in-the-box curly fries you know what if they don't have those abanero

fries at Wendy's anymore there was a limited time promotion I'll probably get some some curly fries and some ranch buttermilk ranch dressing from jack-in-the-box as well Jesus you did you pronounce it abanero I think the H is silent yeah I'm always wrong I've always said habanero habanero no I think the H is I in Spanish I think the J's you say is H and the H's are silent yeah I could be wrong I don't know it's pronounced abanero you've changed your pronunciation a couple times now um look we're this is not the podcast where we're gonna cover linguistics we just we don't know I don't know how words are supposed to be pronounced or what the etymology of them is and also I wouldn't take uh too much of what you heard about marketing today

to hurt I do have a degree in marketing though oh my god I do they I have a degree in cinema production and uh and I'm a great director yeah I will say this though frankenmeals there's an issue here you're driving around all this place is your food's gonna if your food's gonna get cold so I that's maybe my my biggest part of the challenge I think you gotta figure out the route you gotta figure out which chains or which locations this is feasible to execute with and drive like a madman like those early domino drivers well the one thing that's completely wrong about this is that you know like in the book frankenstein isn't not the name of the monster oh god damn it all right now I'm with Mitch now I told you within an hour it would happen

people probably listen to this podcast they're like he's being mean and now they're like fuck koalas throwing their iPhones against the wall uh read read the book and then tell me you're still calling her frankenmeal oh my fucking god you're never allowed to come to some place uh back koalas this has been a lot of fun I think it's been cathartic for the two of you yes we appreciate you giving us your time do you have anything you would like to plug or promote um birthday boys season two coming out on dvd and netflix in the next month yeah it's actually already out right now if you're listening to this podcast if you check out netflix yep it's on it's on uh it's on netflix yeah awesome the dvd is out sitting in your local

target with a layer of dust awesome uh that'll do it for this episode of doughboys as always if you have a question about the world of chain restaurants you can email us at doughboyspodcast at gmail.com and hit us up on twitter at doughboyspod uh until next time i'm nick weigar for mike mitchell happy eating see ya as always doughboys is produced by destin marshall and brought to you by feralaudio.com home of weird adults with little ester don't ever change with john roye and more our theme song is by michael cassidy and our cover art is by chris fenard stalin thanks so much for listening everyone