Doughboys - Doughboys Double 13 - Summer’s Poppin’ with Betsy Sodaro

Episode Date: November 23, 2017

Free preview of Doughboys Double!Actress and comedian Betsy Sodaro joins for a tour of the more outrageous items in the Pop-Tarts family. With summer almost here, the trio engage in the Backyard BBQ draft.To subscribe to the Doughboys Double go to: patreon.com/doughboysWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The following episode is a free preview of Doe Boyz Double, our weekly bonus app. Welcome to Doe Boyz Double, I'm Nick Weigher alongside the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell Mitch. We got the AC going, we got the NBA on the TV, it's a night of intense Doe Boyz action and it's also a night of intense basketball action. The Celtics are fighting for their playoff lives. Right. This will be resolved probably by the time this episode is out. 100%.

Yeah. The Celtics will most likely not be in the finals. Isaiah Thomas is hurt, they won the last game so it's 2-1 Cleveland. This will be a big game in the series because if the Celtics can pull this one off tonight then you have no, you don't know what's going to happen. Hey man, and then they got home court, they regain home court advantage. Regain home court advantage, who knows what that means. But you know what?

Never count out LeBron. Jesus. Can you think of like a more base piece of like basketball analysis? Never count out LeBron. Except you know what's fucked up is that basketball analysts do say that like they are saying something. Yeah. You and I both are of the mind that ESPN is trash now. I'm not a big ESPN fan, they've got some good people on it.

They have some good people on there but trash. I like Zach Lowe's column a lot. But yeah, the network overall, not great. I certainly prefer TNT's NBA presentation column. Charles Barkley, one of the funniest. The funniest of men. The funniest of men. Like funnier than most comedians.

He's one of those guys that makes me like, oh you're an NBA Hall of Famer and then you're also like way funnier than me. That makes me just want to like walk into the ocean. That alone makes you want to walk into the ocean. Yeah, well that and also all the choices I've made in my life in general. It would be funny to just see your little journey into the ocean. What if you just end up living now? Find a new home.

Mitch, we got a great guest. Let's introduce her. She's speaking of funny. Go for it. I was going to say speaking of one of the funniest. I love that. It's the truth. I love that.

Oh my. She is one of the funniest. Ken and the upcoming show disjointed on Netflix. Betsy Sonaro is here. You guys are so excited to be here. We're very happy to have you back. Thank you. I also want to add.

I think that idea of suicide of walking into water is one of the funniest ways to do it. I think and like filling your pockets up with rocks. So you think it's so funny that is that is I think it's especially funny because like people don't really do it anymore. Right. And it's a funny time. I mean, this isn't this they weren't doing a man dying, but the Simpsons have is that moment where who walks through the who walks into the water as principal Skinner, principal

Skinner. And it is like such a funny image right to see the full like fully clothed man walk straight into the water and walk out the other side. He's a terminator basically. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, I do. It is such a thing of like also to like I feel like you need a lot of rocks. You wouldn't need so many rocks to make you sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Like right. You need like cargo pants. Right. You need to like just fill all those pockets up and you need like a dense weight. You need like some letters. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah.

I mean, I guess if you got some gold nuggets, but if you have access to that many gold nuggets you won't want to kill yourself. You won't want to kill yourself. You're a millionaire. Large dude. Well, I'm pretty sure that people don't use gold nuggets ever to drown themselves. I've always been afraid, you know, you know, it's been here. This is the opposite of funny, scary to me to be on a boat and like a pirate or, you

know, a pirate ship, say Captain Jack Sparrow's ship or something like that. Oh, boy, keep going to have like a chain suddenly tied around your foot in an anchor tossed over. Oh, boy. Holy shit. That's terrifying. That's terrifying. Out in the middle of the ocean.

Yeah. That's a long drop. Miles sometimes. I don't know. Pirate ships are out that far. Yeah. Why not? Oh, yeah.

They're out in the open ocean. Betsy, they go everywhere. They go everywhere, my friend. My landfaring friend. I hate the ocean. It scares me so bad. You're legitimately, because you're from Colorado, you're legitimately a coastal. Mountain high.

Yeah. You're a coastal averse. You don't like the ocean. I do not like the ocean. It really scares me. Go on. I was going to say mountain high emphasis on the high. Thank you.

Betsy. Oh, man. I even pools and stuff. Oh, wow. Okay. So it's not water. Yeah. I'm very scared of water.

I love the beach. I mean, hold on. That's not fair. I don't love the beach. I hate the beach. I love the ocean. I love the shoreline. Okay.

I don't love like going to the beach and laying in sand. Like I don't, because one, that means like a sunburn for me. Two, I don't like to like lay in sand when I'm hot. I know that you lay on a towel, et cetera, et cetera. I'm just saying that I, I like love the ocean. I love the ocean life. I used to, I used to just swim. I keep cod.

Nick, we taught it. We were on who charted the, now maybe I guess a week ago or something. I don't know when it's coming out. Yeah. I know when that episode's coming out. But we had, we recorded the episode. We discussed the ocean. You were very strongly advocating that the East coast has superior oceans to the West coast,

which I think is insane. East coast, I was saying East coast has better summers. I said it's summer A versus summer B, which is West coast summer. I don't get that at all. I don't, I feel the East coast summers are so muggy. Yeah. Like you walk outside and then you're like close stick to you. But that's that we're all suffering together.

That's why when you get into the ocean, it's a treat. It cools you down. You get like every, it's mugginess. I know it sucks, but it's, that's what it's summer. That is summer is getting is mugginess. Right. I don't like just the air being thick. Yeah.

Like I don't like that feeling. Right. Just like walking through and feeling every particle of stuff. I think I, I think I like it cause it gives me an excuse to look like shit. Yeah. It's okay. We all look terrible today. Everybody looks like shit.

That is funny. Finally, everybody else is sweating as much as I am. When it's muggy outside, I walk outside and I yell out, welcome to my world. Every day. Yeah. I had, I used to just swim freely and I like, like, swim freely swim in the ocean.

Sorry. And I would just like swim around and never be scared. We would take the boat out. I jump right in the water. Whoa. Now sharks scare me. And I was saying this to Nick. I mean, I don't, I don't really want sharks to be extinct,

but just imagine a shark free world where we just were swimming around. You'd have no cares in the world. I think they're at first of all, I don't think shark attacks are super rare. And also I think that if there was a shark free world, we talked about this a little bit on who charges. So I don't want to spend too much time recapping this, this conversation we already had. But I feel like there'd be so many consequences from a shark free world

that would be unforeseen. It's like, it's like, oh, I hate getting stung by bees. Let's get rid of all the bees. Well, now you fucked up the whole ecosystem. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Oh, what's wrong? What's going to happen?

Too many dolphins? Too many seals? Good. The friendly, the friendly pets of the sea. These things that are fun. Aren't you, you're a survivor of a dolphin attack, aren't you? You got attacked by a dolphin. Dolphins, a group of dolphins try to have sex with me.

It is true. Oh my God, where? And when we went swim with dolphins, I was in Key West as a, as a, as a tween. It was my first and last sexual experience. And you know what? I still don't hold it against him. Yeah.

I was looking fucking good in that bathing suit. Were you, were you scared? Was there a moment where they were pulling me underwater? And I was like, Oh dude, like there's like five beasts around me that are like pulling me under. If not more. Yeah.

Did you see like their dicks or anything? I didn't see any of their dicks. Okay. Or like any of, Or like any of the things. Any of the semen. The only semen in that water belonging to me. Oh my God.

My first, my first, my first little load. Wow. I'm sorry. I'm not usually this dirty. Going blue. Going, going very, very blue. So that's what's motivating this. You want all the sharks to go away.

So there'll be more dolphins in the ocean. So more opportunities for these. Intra species fuck fest. And then I'll be king of the sea. I, I said that it would be cool if we pulled all the sharks teeth out. Which I stand by. Cause they could still swallow fish.

And then when they went to eat you, you wouldn't get killed. It would be funny. Impractical. It would be funny. It would be funny of anything. Just gumming you. If you picture jaws gumming you. That's the funniest thing that there could be.

That is very funny. That would be a fun character. And like, I don't know if that was in a Pixar movie or something like that, but like a shark with no teeth, like an old shark. It'd be a fun character. That's a good one. Yeah.

The birthday boys a long time ago, we were writing this, it never happened, but a movie called sharks. That was like jaws. And it was about a shark gets beached. But it's near a sprinkler. And so the water continually sprays onto the shark. And people still get attacked on land. Wow.

And, and it's with the town dealing with this, this shark that's on land. Wait. The sprinkler. That's, that is, that's one of the options, but it turns out that can't work out. I don't remember too many details, but we were, we, we mapped this out quite a bit.

I would watch it all the time. Yeah. Why didn't this get green lit with a $200 million budget? And then there was a scene where all of the birthday boys went inside of an arcade machine and put our dicks through where the joysticks would be so that people would come and jerk us off. So that little kids would come and jerk us off.

Oh my God. We did not think of that. That sounds very funny. A 21st century porkies moment. That's what we were looking for. That sounds like a lot of fun. That sounds so funny. But Hollywood has spoken.

They do not like us. Hey, you know what? But Hollywood does listen to social media. So if you out there want to see the birthday boys sharks movie. Yeah. Mail a shark to Warner Brothers. Mail a shark tooth to Warner Brothers. Not a real one because we don't want any sharks to be here.

Or it can be real, but it has to have fallen out. Like a souvenir or whatever. Yeah. A souvenir. Not one that was a shark that was hunted. Right. Wait. So now you're up.

What is your position? I don't really want sharks to be killed, Nick. I don't want sharks to be killed. You're just having a laugh. Betsy, I did have one thing I wanted to ask you about it because I know you're talking about Superfan, but then we discussed beforehand you haven't had the naked chicken chips yet.

I have not yet. I have to save it to do it with Gabriel. I would just say this. Okay. Don't get your expectations up. Shoot. Mitch and I had them and I mean, I've underwhelming to me as being charitable.

Oh, man. I didn't like them. I thought they were pretty bad. Nick, I was maybe a little bit more okay with them than you were. Yeah. I was weighing them against the naked chicken chalupa, which is so good.

Yeah, which is so good. Delicious. It was, ugh. I like, I think about it once a day. Wow. At least of how good it was. Wait, once a day? As I said, I was like, actually,

that's not like, I think about Taco Bell all the time. Right. But I do think about how good that naked chalupa, chicken chalupa was. It was, it was delicious. And if it better come back, and when it does everybody stuff it into a taco, you will not be upset.

You said that to me, it kind of blew my mind. Yeah, that sounds fantastic. It was one of the greatest things I've ever eaten in my life. It was so good. Damn. But I still, yeah, I gotta try these chips. I'm just now sad. Right.

How did you get that? Like, can you order, could you do like, I want to, because this is what I want to do. I want to do like nacho bell grande, but instead of chips with the chicken. I don't know if they'll do that for you if they do not charge you an arm and a leg, because they come in orders of six or 12.

Okay. And then they do a chick star wrap as well. Yeah. Yeah. So that's probably the closest you're going to get to something like that. I bet you could, you could Frankenstein something out of two 12 piece orders.

If you ordered two, paid for two 12 piece and asked them to make it like a nacho bell grande, I bet they'd kind of, kind of make that happen. Okay. But as is, I think they're pretty dull, which is a disappointment. Okay. But you know what,

we're not here to talk about the naked chicken chips. No, fuck that. We're here. In fact, there's something else popping up into our, what? That's a great segue. Thank you, Nick. Good job.

That's very good. It's kind of bad. No, it was fantastic. Shut up, Mitch. Mitch, great. Mitch, that might have been the most clever thing anyone has ever said on our podcast. All right.

So we've got these. Oh, yeah. We've got pop tarts have gone crazy. And this was a thing I hadn't really checked in on a while. And I found myself on the pop tarts website a couple of months ago. And I was used to, okay, they had strawberry, what else?

They had like, like the craziest one they had is s'mores, which is what we're starting off with today. Well, they've taken s'mores as their baseline and they've just heightened from there. And there's some fucking bananas flavors. And I don't mean banana because that would be a conventional flavor by these standards. There are some insane flavors that they actually have these

days. And we're going to taste a few of them. Oh, a million bananas. I'm sure is on the way. Oh, yeah. If they could get that as a minions tie in, that would be fantastic. Oh, good thinking.

Yeah. Mitch, you're doing a great job. What the hell is going on here? No, that was a really great idea. I'm sorry. I didn't, it did sound like I was being very. I mean, no, you were great idea.

You were never me. Nick is the one who was mean to me, but it would have to be peanut butter and banana. I feel like if it's a pop tart, sure. Yeah. It's got to have a combo. You can have a little PB there and that would not be out of line with the minions universe.

All right. Well, let's get, let's get into these. And we're starting with a couple of these. These I threw in the toaster. They popped up about a minute ago. So hopefully they're still warm. You got to start making the new ones now. I'll cut these into, oh, you already cut those.

I cut those, but I think you're right. This is a good system here. I'll pass the knife to Betsy. No, Nick, you're wasting too much time already. No, this is working out perfectly. Grab your slices. We don't need to do this as a, look, we're not super pressed for time.

We will have time to get through all these, but we're going to kind of go in order from least crazy to most crazy. So the ones we're starting out with are s'mores and chocolate vanilla cream. And for me, this is, I think, Jesus Christ. I almost just dropped everything. For me, this is a kind of thing where it's just sort of like

Pop Tarts has clearly gone in the direction where they're no longer pretending to be breakfast pastries anymore. They're just like, we're just straight up desserts. It's pure like dessert. It's pure hostess. Well, talk me through what you guys are chomping into it. And let me know your assessments. What's the vanilla frosting one?

So the vanilla one is just chocolate vanilla cream. And then we've got s'mores as the other one. I'm eating s'mores right now. And this s'mores was the last time, the last kind of Pop Tart I ever had. OK. Years ago in college. Right.

Because I remember, and I remember this specifically, my very first day living not on campus and in my own apartment with friends. I bought Pop Tarts and ice cream for breakfast just because I could. And so it was some more Pop Tarts. And they taste good still. Pretty fucking good.

I would say that the s'mores one, the chocolate and vanilla ones are almost like nothing to me. Also, Nick, we're doing this. This is a heavy sugar day for us. Yeah. Because we had some sweet treats earlier. We're going to get a massive, and we reviewed, we had some coffee drinks that had some added sugar.

We're also not in the best of health right now, either of us. No. We're both pretty beat up. This could be it. This could be it, everyone. I'm going to say this. Yeah.

I started with Pop Tarts at one point, and my dad would make me the cinnamon, the cinnamon sugar Pop Tart, which I liked. I liked the cinnamon sugar Pop Tart. I've always had a little bit of a problem with how like bready and stale the tart. It's when you get to the center of the Pop Tart that it's good.

Yeah. And I feel like they've gotten kind of more stale-y bready. And the cinnamon sugar ones, the cinnamon, I think they're just cinnamon Pop Tarts. For whatever reason, we're good. And I also liked the strawberry, right? But then I moved on to toaster strudels. Oh my God.

And I liked those much better. Yeah, those are better. Toaster strudels were better. Do people still do toaster strudels? I think so. They still exist. They're in the frozen foods aisle. But yeah, they're just, they're markedly better.

And then I think I did like cereal and bagels and stuff instead. But you know, the funny thing with Pop Tarts is like they became this office snack that people eat. They eat them raw. They eat raw Pop Tarts. And I think raw Pop Tarts are gross.

That's how I used to have them because I would have them on Boy Scout trips. They were like, my parents wouldn't let me have them in a house for a while and then they let me have them when I was older. But I would have them on Boy Scout trips and there wasn't a toaster to heat them up. We would just have them like, you know, just cold.

I remember in elementary school, like we would, like my friends would share them with me and it was, you would just eat them raw, pretty much. But yeah, I agree. Like it's the centers that is fun. And then the outside is just dry stuff. Yeah. From the last round, I agree with your assessment, Mitch.

The chocolate vanilla cream is just, it's kind of bland. It's not, there's nothing to it, but that s'mores is damn good. The s'mores is really good. And the graham cracker, you know, the concept of it makes sense because the graham cracker coating works nicely with that marshmallow vanilla cream inside.

It's just like a classic flavor profile and it's well executed. I like that one a lot. Yeah. Okay. So now we got, I'm going to, I don't know, I'm going to just say it's a red velvet cupcake. You got it. Red velvet is one of them.

And then the other one is chocolate brownie. It's cookies and cream. Very close to the chocolate vanilla cream. They're very adjacent. I say that the cookies and cream is better than the chocolate vanilla. It's like chocolatey or. It's chocolatey or definitely.

And it's, it's not, it's not, I think maybe I even like it better than the red velvet just because the, but the red velvet is doing what it's supposed to do. I'll say that much that it tastes just like a red velvet. Right. Oh my God.

It does. It's on, it's on game. It's got it. It really is nailing. It nails a red velvet cupcake or whatever flavor you're looking for. Yeah. And this nails the flavor the most.

Right. But damn. Do I want that? Is my question. Do I want that for breakfast? Certainly not. Definitely not for breakfast. Yeah.

And definitely like, because these come in packs of two, they're intended as a single serving. I definitely don't, I barely want a whole one of those. I definitely don't want two of them. I mean, that's excessive. Yeah.

We're having like, we're having like thirds of each of these. And it's still, it feels like, okay, I'm kind of getting my fill of each one of these because they're just so sweet. Yeah, they're rich. They're very sweet. They're really,

Betsy, are you a, in the abstract, are you a red velvet fan? You know, I think I like bites of it, but I can, and that's kind of sweets in general. Like,

I'm not a crazy big sweet person, but like, I will have like, Interesting. Yeah. But like, I'd rather have chips. Yeah.

All day long. All day long. Give me Cloransterito's over any Pop-Tart ever. Well, we fucked this up. No, no, this is great though.

We should have gotten, we should have gotten a challenge. You know what, Nick, you did fuck this up. Yeah, wait a second. Fuck this.

I'm out of here. No. She's just running away. Oh my God, I think I was a flying car. I checked the plane. But I do like, like,

taste, you know, I love tasting some good stuff. Right. Some good sweets, you know. Oh, Nick,

you did a great job. Nick, this is perfect. Oh, good. You know what? That's what I was fishing for. Oh my God. I thought,

I won't talk about those yet. That's terrifying. Yeah. Our last two are we got some terrifying ones. Nightmare. These next ones are getting kind of weird too. I've got these heating up in the toaster right now.

So we've got the hot fudge sundae is one of them. And the other one is Jesus. Frosted chocolate mocha. Mitchell, appreciate this. This is a Dunkin' Donuts co-branded now. Let's see how it goes.

They just popped up. Chocolate mocha. All right, here we go. Let me do these bad boys up. We'll distribute them. I'm looking at these as a parent. I could never give these to my kids.

Right. And I feel like growing up, I'd be like, yeah, I would eat that all the time. And if I have kids, I would give them that. And it's just that they're like, no, this is so bad.

It's insane. I feel like I maybe would buy my kids toaster strudels. Honestly, I don't think that I know that they're not good either. But I'm like, all right, fine. I'll get them the fucking toaster strudels. These are candy.

It's like, at least toaster strudel, which is bad for you, at least like kind of pretends to not. They kind of make, they kind of are breakfast. You know, like a fun breakfast pastry. This is insane that they have these anywhere near the cereal aisle.

The idea that this would be someone's breakfast, this hot fudge, or what's the other one? What's this one? Chocolate mocha. Frosted chocolate mocha. The idea that either of these would be a breakfast is insane. This is wild.

All right. I'm going to take a bite of this frosted chocolate mocha. I just took a bite. I'm going to take a bite of that too. I would say also, it's strange, but they got the flavor profile down. They really did.

It actually does taste very mochi. Like you get a lot of coffee character from that one. And these are full of caffeine. Is that true? That does taste very good. It tastes a lot closer to what it, it describes than what it's. These, I mean,

these pop darts seem so much like these, those there, there was a targeted at adults, right? The tongue and doughnuts. Chocolate mocha. They have to be, right? I would imagine. These are, that's office food right there.

Or awful kids. Like, if you're a parent who's feeding your kids this, those are not well-behaved children. Yeah. Have your, have your chocolate mocha, pop darts,

and your cigarette flavored skittles. Okay. Siggles. Sunday. Siggles. Hot fudge Sunday. Hmm. Not as over the top as I expected.

It's, it's like, It tastes like birthday cake. Yeah. It's more birthday cake than hot fudge Sunday. Oh, I gotta get this next one cued up. I'm fucking up over here. These feel like what the 80s thought the future food was going to be.

You know, like, you stick it in the toaster and now you have a whole birthday cake in a two by four square. Right. The back to the future. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is still way cooler. Like the fact that they get the little mini pizza and then it's a big, a big pizza hot pizza. Right. It's like the kind of thing where like, if you look at a,

you watch a movie like time cop or virtuosity where they have that virtual reality and we're seeing like what virtual reality look like. Yeah. Like super cool. And then you see it these days and it's just like some like heavy set sweaty guy

at like E3 with a headset. He's just sort of fumbling around playing some zombie game. It's, it's like the reality has approximated what the prediction was, but it's like way Lamer. Did you follow, did you follow me to E3?

I was fighting zombies. Fumbling around. Fumbling around. I was for sure sweaty. I want to admit this. Yeah. Please do. As a boy,

I was very into future things. I got, my mom used to get this magazine Hemekler, Hemekler Sclemmer. Do you know this? Hemekler Sclemmer? I feel like I've heard of this,

but I'm not unclear on what it is exactly. It's almost like a Brookstone type of place. Okay. But they would have like futuristic stuff. I remember for one of my birthdays, I got a model car, like a model of a car from like 2000, like two years in the future.

Yeah. What the car was supposed to look like two years in the future. The weirdest gift. Yeah. I can't even imagine my mom because it was probably like $50. Like I wanted this thing that was like,

I wasn't even into cars. It was very strange, but I loved future stuff. Yeah. And I used to like draw what I wanted my room to be like, and I would have like fish tank windows. Yes.

I was, I was very into future stuff. Like 80s future stuff. 80s, 80s future stuff, which is kind of like kitsch, I guess, right now. Yeah. It's so funny.

Did I say that correctly? Kitsch. Yeah. It's funny that like you're, you were like so fantasizing about the future, like, you know, what that would be like. Your political beliefs

are harkening back to the 1950s. Oh my God. Yeah. Is it that funny bitch that that's happening to you? It's a riot. Oh my God. All right.

So now, now we're in the territory of flavors that prove that we live in a dystopia. Can I take a bite before I get, before the show? Please do. Please do. Oh, I'd like to see what your,

what your guess is. One of these is root beer. You got, you nailed it. This is frosted A&W root beer. It's crazy. Oh my God. It is. It's root beer.

Oh, it's not good. Oh, that's awful. It's like, Oh God. Do you know like the, like the strong root, like it's like that root flavor and root beer is like turned up.

I mean, immediately as soon as I took a bite, I know what the other one is. So I, I can't guess it. I did not know that one. I saw what the other one is too. I, I hate that. That was,

that was really gross. That was the worst one. It was like strong, strong root beer candy or something. But why would that's, that's just a flavor that shouldn't be solid. It's so weird. That's so weird.

I'm trying the other one. I wonder if I would be able to guess this. I'm going to see. I, I, I, I wouldn't, I wouldn't in a sense. I would guess orange cream. Yeah. I would guess this is a cream sickle.

It's actually frosted, frosted crush orange. Yeah. Also pretty noxious. This better. Yeah. This, these ones, I think were like 83 cents at the supermarket.

Like they were trying to get rid of them cause clearly nobody had been on these. I kind of have been into the orange crush one a few times. I better taste this again and make sure I hate it so much. Oh yeah. So gross. That A and W one really destroyed me. Really bad.

We really saved the worst for last there. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I mean my assessment, man, they really, those two flavors really, I got to hand it to them because we started off with the one that was like the, the chocolate vanilla.

What was that? The chocolate. Chocolate vanilla cream. Yeah. It kind of tasted like nothing. It tastes like nothing as we went on, like they really got the besides, besides, we're out of them.

Yeah. You want me to stack it? Oh, yeah. We'll figure it out. I was, I'm running out of table space here. No, you know what? Here,

if you just move these bad boys out of the way, then we'll have some room over here. We went back a little bit with the chocolate because it was just kind of like chocolate cake, the fudge sundae or whatever, the fudge sundae. That, but, but we started with the chocolate vanilla cream one or whatever. That was the one that most says like nothing,

but as they went on, they more and more, like they tasted just kind of like what they were trying to do. Yeah. The chemical engineering of them was more and more impressive. But the root beer one is like, you got to turn down that root, like the root beer, it was just,

it was fucking, it was nasty. It just shouldn't be attempted. It just was not, not a good fit. I don't know. I didn't really like any of these. I wouldn't want to get any of these again. No. That's what I was going to say.

Like, what, what of this, of this bunch, if we were going to be like, hey, here's, you can have a whole one of these. I feel like the least bad option for me would be the s'mores. Me too. That was the one where I was like, I could. Yeah. Can we quickly look at all of them again?

Yeah. The s'mores, the chocolate vanilla cream. I'll hold these up for you so you can take a look. Hot fudge sundae. Even though hot fudge sundae wasn't bad just because it was a cake flavor. Cookies and cream. Right.

I mean, yeah, red velvet was straight up a red velvet. If you're a red velvet fan. Yeah. If you love red velvet, that'll be your pop tart of choice. What's that one right there, Nick? This one is s'mores. Yeah. I guess it would be s'mores and cookies and cream.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's the kind of thing I think they've, it's not quite gilding the lily, but they've, they've gotten just too fancy with these. They've, they've put too many bells and whistles on them. I'm not sure what idiom to use exactly, but they're just too complicated.

What if it's a huge government system, a big old thing the government's doing to determine whoever likes those A&W root beers are like a serial killer. Right. Well, guess what? Nick Bottom and. Oh no. The government's waiting for you there.

It was great luck for them that they actually accidentally sold it to a serial killer. Hopefully I end up in some sort of super soldier program where they can try to harness my evil inside of me for good. Yes. Fingers crossed. Yeah. I'd love to be a dexter guys.

All right. So that was our pop tart. What do we do? Hey, you are a dexter, a point dexter. Oh boy. Ouch. You know, I'm sitting right next to a toaster right now and I feel pretty burned.

Okay. So we had. You are sitting. I was literally sitting right next to a toaster. I just realized I was accidentally talking to the toaster. And I was like, why is Nick so engaging to them? Oh, bad. All right.

So that was our, that was our pop tart taste test. Betsy. So this episode recording in late May where it'll be our first episode out in June. And so one thing we, wait, did I fuck up the calendar? It'll be, if it's not outright in June, it'll be very, very early on. Close to June.

Close to June. It'll be June's Eve. June gloom. Oh boy. June gloom. Does mean June gloom. But you know what else it means? Summer's here, baby.

Summer time. At least favorite season in LA. I still don't get why you're a version of summer. It's so hot here. It's not that hot. It's hotter on the East coast. It's desert city. It's lovely out here.

No, it's just a desert. It's a different kind of hot. You gotta go out West, baby. Oh, a dry hot. That's a nice hot. Not a wet, thick, stinky hot. Give me that wet, thick, stinky hot. Garbage air hot.

I like the, give me that garbage. New York City garbage air. I love it. Out here, the summer out here, too hot. Man, I don't know. And you know when it comes? It comes in August and September. Right.

It happens pretty late. That is kind of a bummer. Yeah. Because we're ready for fall then. Yes. And then it's hot. And we get summer. Yeah.

I think it was last year, like the hottest days of the year last year were like in September, October. It was pretty brutal. It was hot, like very late in the year. And that happens sometimes. I, I feel like you got to come out west, man. Go, go, get some of that ocean breeze. I swear to God, if it is hot on October 6th, my birthday, I'm going to flip out.

Oh my God. You're walking to the ocean. I'm going to walk right into the fucking ocean. With a bunch of rocks in your pockets. And get gummed up by a shark. I wish there was a dolphin around. To save me and then have sex with me. That's my fantasy with all things.

When they pulled you out of the ocean. When they pulled you out of the ocean as a kid, they had to tell your parents like, yeah, he was, he was down there and we had to restrain him because he was trying to hold down a dolphin and suck it off. I was trying to suck off. We got dirty. We got dirty on that. I was trying to suck off a dolphin.

I was trying to suck off a dolphin. But since summer is here, we thought this is a thing we've done on the podcast a few times. That's right. A classic Doe Boy's Draft. And here, and here, we are drafting summer backyard barbecue treats. Is that a good way to characterize it? Yes.

It's a backyard barbecue. Barbecue draft, barbecue draft. Give me the, wait, I want my barbecue barbecue barbecue draft. Doe Boy's barbecue draft. Oh my God. That was really good. I think you almost hit the brown note, Nick. I definitely thought I was going to shit my parents.

Or maybe, or maybe it's that crushed soda. Yeah. We can just feel our bodies rejecting this. These chemicals in the form of food, formed into food like shapes that we put into our bodies. God, that was noxious. Okay. So here's how this will work.

Betsy, you're a guest. You'll have the first pick. Okay. Mitch, you and I will, I guess, how should we determine the second? I go second. Okay. You'll get, wait a minute. All right.

Fine. You said it. You go second. Hold on. Should we do some sort of game for who gets second? I was going to say we could Rochambeau or something, but. All right. Well, let's Rochambeau.

What is that? Like we're. Oh, the dough boys. Well, Doshambo. Well, Doshambo. All right. Oh, yeah. All right.

Here we go. Doshambo. Oh, you got one. I got scissors. Actually, it was a pile of dough. Does the scissors cut through? Scissors cut that. Scissors cut that.

No, you crushed that. I was holding two breadsticks. So you crushed the breadsticks. Okay. So Mitch will go second. Okay. I'll go third. We'll go snake style.

And the five of us will pick on a roll and then we'll cycle back to you and we'll see how many rounds we end up going. So. Sorry? What is this? So barbecue? Treats like a backyard barbecue treat? Anything you would have in a backyard barbecue.

The idea is we're trying to draft the ultimate roster. So if someone else takes burgers, then I can't have burgers. What's the item I'm going to take to counter that? And we can think in terms of proteins. We can think in terms of sides. We can think in terms of beverages. Everything is on the table. Fantastic.

All right. So Betsy. I'm getting hungry even though I just ate a lot of sugar. Well, you ate a lot of like insubstantial, you know, fake food. So it's not, there's zero nutrition in any of this. All right. Betsy, we'll start with you. Okay.

Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to, I guess I, I'm going to keep it a little simple with just like some like tri-tip. Wow. Tri-tip. That's a great, great draft. Very bold. Number one pick.

Yeah. But Betsy, even though Nick tried to tip you off, you didn't take the bait. Oh, were you going to? And I think I just won this draft. Cheeseburgers. Man. That's a big one. I mean, that's going to go in the first round though.

That's a big one. Sure as hell is. That's a big one. Yeah. Tri-tip is good though. Yeah. Tri-tip is real good. I'm fancy.

If you couldn't tell, I'm pretty fancy. Let me just say, I think Nick is fucked. Well, you know what? I got two picks in a row. So let's see how we feel after. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right.

With a third pick in the Doughboys backyard barbecue draft. Oh. Nick Weiger selects hot dogs. Yep. Fuck. Yep. And then with the fourth pick in the Doughboys barbecue draft, Nick Weiger selects potato salad.

Oh, damn it. That was going to be mine. Shit. I got a question for you. Yeah. Okay. We drafted, I drafted cheeseburgers. Yes.

So that includes a burger, cheese, and a bun? I think you can, I don't think you have all buns and all slices of cheese. I don't have all buns and cheese. No, because it's like, you have cheeseburgers, someone else can't make cheeseburgers, but if someone else wants to make like, you can't just say like. What if someone says buns, then I can't have a bun with my burger? Yeah. If someone had tactically decided to draft buns before you got hamburgers, then I guess

you're having protein style burgers. This is fucking garbage. But I don't think because you drafted hamburgers, that means you claim all buns. If you drafted buns, you'd claim all buns, right? So you're saying that someone can steal buns from me? I feel buns wins. Don't take buns. But here's the thing.

I think because you already have hamburger buns, I think that means all buns are off the table. Oh, okay. I think someone can take other buns. So then you have hot dog buns. I have hot dog buns. I feel like buns are spoken. Oh, so now you're changing it, you fool.

Look, I'm saying we think of a thing as an individual item, right? Uh-huh. It would be insane to just draft potatoes because then it would be like... Because then you'd have to do like, okay, mayonnaise. Right. Uh, I don't know what else. It's a potato salad. Yeah, potato salad.

Like if you just drafted potatoes and then it's just like, okay, so you claim all, you claim potato salad, you claim chips, you claim any other preparation. Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay, fine. If you get cheeseburgers, I get a bun with my cheeseburger. Yes. It should be, here's where I think we delineate it.

And the fix-ins, right? You get the fix-ins. So you get access to the fix-ins. I think you should, we should think of it in terms of an item that would be served at a barbecue, not its raw components. Okay. I think that's the best way to make it. Okay, perfect.

Okay, perfect. All right, so that was my pick. Yeah, because then you're going to have to fucking, I'm going to have to draft a grill at some point. All right. I'm just bringing it back to you, Mitch. This is a tough pick because I could go a lot of ways right now. Yeah.

Nick, you weren't with hot dogs. Yes. A great pick. I really wanted it. I'm with sausages. Wow. Damn it. I was going to...

You had your sausages. I'm sorry. Yeah. No, it's fine. I fucked up. Okay. That's a great pick. Betsy, you got some barbecue building that you got tri-tip right now.

Yeah. I got tri-tip. But you also got two in a row. Two picks in a row. Oh, I get two picks in a row. So great. Yeah, you got snake style. Okay.

Coleslaw. Great choice. Great choice. And then I'm going to do like chips, and can I do various tips or should I pick a specific chip again? That's a good question. Oh, fuck. I feel like this is the kind of thing we'd need like a ruling on, but since it's the

three of us. You know what? Let's ask Dustin. Hey, Dustin. Yeah. Do you think it's cool to draft... Can Betsy draft dips, like in general, or does she have to pick a specific dip? Well, yeah, no, in general.

Okay. So Dustin is ruling that chips and dip encompasses all chips and all dip, that you can just make sort of a general case. We possibly woke Dustin up. The Celtics are up 11 to five. All right. Yeah. I'm going to do chips and dips.

Wow. That is big. Because that's... Betsy, that is fucking gigantic. That's a huge one. That only takes... Because I feel like... Okay.

So you've got potato chips and onion dip. You got like that sort of... That's what I was thinking. You got Doritos for fuck's sake. But you also got Doritos. You've got tortilla chips and salsa. Exactly. Guacamole.

God, that is a powerful... Wait, Guacamole. Hold on a second. That's a dip. No, no. That's a good guacamole. That's a dip. That's bullshit.

It's a dip. Right? Dustin? Guacamole is not a dip. What is it? What's guacamole then? It's guac itself. It's guac...

Okay, fine. All right. Dustin says guacamole. Okay. Guacamole is not a dip. So you have dips absent guacamole. You have the... I think that you honestly have the...

It's the thing that I'm going to be snacking on the most out of... Right. But here's the deal. Yeah. I'm about to win this draft because I'm going to draft... Macaroni salad. Wow. That's great.

All right. So let's wait... That was very good. The big three backyard salads are off the table. And obviously we drafted them in a certain order, but it's not necessarily... I'm curious how you guys would rank them because I think I'd probably go potato salad first, macaroni salad second, coleslaw third, even though I like coleslaw a lot. I think they all serve their purpose.

But how would you guys rank the big three? Am I missing any? Those are the three... No, those are the big three. Yeah. Mac salad, potato salad, and coleslaw. I think we are going to say the same thing. Mine is a potato salad, macaroni, and then coleslaw.

But I put coleslaw on every... Like I put it on my burgers, I put it on my hot dogs. It tastes so good on everything. But guess what, Betsy? What? You ain't got no burgers. But I don't have any of those. I'll put it on my fucking chip.

I would say potato salad, mac salad, coleslaw. I mean, you did a good thing by drafting that potato salad deck. It was a great choice. Thanks. Do you prefer like the mayonnaise base or the mustard base or any of... Or like German potato salad? I do like the German potato salad. I do like a little dill in my potato salad.

I have a... Yeah. For me, my dad was the guy who would bring the potato salad any cookout or any family function. My dad's famous potato salad. I got to get that recipe from him at some point. I got to get his famous potato salad. I wonder what the secret ingredient is.

I know what you're implying. What? That's awful to talk about Dr. Raymond Weiger that way. It's a PhD in chemistry. Dr. Raymond Weiger. Yeah. Dr. George Raymond Weiger. I don't know why I admitted his first name.

He goes amongst the famous doctors, Dr. Lecter, Dr. Kevorkia. Okay. Dr. Demento. Dr. Demento. Dr. Doom. You know who he belongs amongst? Who? Dr. Dre, because he's cool.

Oh, my God. That's very cute. What I could only say is a dance. My dad was a cool dude. He did not jack off in his potato salad. I know that he didn't jack off in his potato salad. He listens to the podcast. I don't think he listens to the podcast.

Does he really? Hello, Dr. Weiger. Hello. I do not think you do that. Mitch does. But yeah, my dad would make a famous potato salad. Dr. Weiger, I have a question for you. You're Dr. Weiger.

Why is Nick just known as regular Nick Weiger? Well, Dr. is not a hereditary title that carries down to generations. It's not like being a feudal lord. You understand how like getting a degree works. Sure. Moving on. Okay. So wait, let me, let me, let me think.

I want to recap the rosters real quick at this point. Betsy, you have tri-tip, coleslaw, and chips and dips. Wow. Very a powerhouse roster. Mitch, you've got cheeseburgers. Yep. Sausage. That's right.

And macaroni salad. That's a barbecue, baby. I guess I let you have sausage when I already had hot dog, but they are very different things. They're very, very different, Nick. They're very different. I've got hot dogs, potato salad. My dad's was mayonnaise based to answer your question. Oh, great.

And now you get a draft, right? Now I get to draft two in a row. Two in a row. I need to fatten up my roster. Do you ever get to do two in a row? I never do. Oh, I'm sorry. That's very sad.

Yeah. But you know what? That's the two-slot. That's the two-slot. But you know what? At this point, it's going to be pretty hot out there. I need something to cool down. Oh, fuck.

What the fuck are you in a draft? You six son of a bitch. Oh, no. Brew dogs. Damn it. Damn it. That's devastating. I got ice cold beer.

I'm humiliated. I'm humiliated. If you want to know where the party is, come to Weiger's Barbecue. We got hot dogs, potato salad, and beer. That sounds pretty great. That's a good party, man. I love beer. Now look, I could be devious at this point, and I could say I'm also going to get soda.

I could just claim basically all the beverage dump. But I'm a man of honor. I'm not going to do that to your guys' rosters. You're fucking up. No, here's the thing. I think it's important that we have an option for the health-conscious barbecue attendee. I am going to choose green salad. Oh.

You fool. It's over. You fucked up. What's on it? Yeah, what's on it? Green salad and all dressing. That's what my pick is. Oh, no.

Okay, okay. No, don't take all dressing. I got all dips, except apparently guacamole is not a dip. Oh, I forgot guacamole was still on the table. Fuck. But what am I going to dip in it? Guess what? Oh, yeah.

It's my turn. Go for it, Mitch. What are you taking? Oh, you know what I'm taking. What are you taking? Corn. Oh. Fuck.

Corn, baby. Very good. Shit. I feel stupid. You fucked up. That was a big oversight. I really did. I fucked up really bad.

That's very good. Come down to my sober barbecue. That's amazing. Fuck. Corn is great. God, a good backyard corn grilled up. Yeah. Man, that is fantastic.

Hey, it is. A little bit of butter and salt on that. Yep. Boy, that's a treat. Oh, God. That's very good. I've come to really like the past few years, Mexican-American delicacy. It might just be from B, south of the border as well, but alote asado.

It's real good. A little bit of corn with that. Yes. It's like seasoned corn. Yeah. And with a little bit of like a kind of like a spicy mayo it comes with. Man, it is delicious. It's good.

It's so good. It's so good. Anytime that's available, I feel like that's something I'll grab. That's a great summertime treat. Man, that corn is a great pick, Mitch. That's very good, Josh. Thank you very much. Betsy, you got two in a row.

Two in a row. Okay. There's some big ones still. We won't say though. Nick, we won't say anything. I've honestly run out of ideas. I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

I'm thinking. I might go the beverage way. Yeah. Because that's always fun. Here's what I'm going to say. No, I don't say anything. No, I want to say, I just want to say this because I want to keep, I want to just be clear. I think we should adopt the restaurant rule where water is available everywhere.

Yes. Fine. If you just want water, you can have it at any of these barbecues. Sounds good. Great. All right. Betsy. Okay.

Okay. Okay. So I'm going to do, I'm going to do mojitos. Wow. Oh, fuck. That's great. Mojitos are great. Those are so refreshing.

Those are really, really great. That's a great summertime treat. Yeah, that is. Good little summertime treat. And wait, what else do I have tried to, all the dips and chips? What else do I want for us? Barbecue. I'm going to, I'm going to do barbecue chicken.

That's a great fucking pick and it was right on my, that was my next one. Betsy. God damn it. I'm sorry. You don't get two picks in a row. God, that is so, here's the thing. If I'm weighing, do I want to go to a barbecue with chips and dips, mojitos and barbecue chicken versus a place with hot dogs, potato salad and beer?

I might want to go to Betsy's barbecue based off of that alone. I've also got the tri-tip and coleslaw on top of it, but just that there's, there, mojitos are so refreshing. I'd rather have beer in general, but the mojitos specifically, super refreshing. And the chips and dips is just doing so much work for your roster. I mean, that was available in the third round is pretty, I mean, that was, that was you and I fucking up bitch. We fucked up.

We should have gotten chips and dips. But I'm going to make a pick right now that you're all going to think is a great pick. I pick with my fifth pick in the draft. Yeah. You're up to five. Watermelon. Wow. That's really good.

Ah, corn and that's very good. You got something very refreshing. Watermelon is always fun to just grab. Oh. Munch on. You got to, you got to grab your watermelon. You get to munch it out. Yeah.

That's a barbecue rule. Barbecue rule, man. Now Nick has two in a row, which is scaring me Betsy. I know. Here's the thing though. I've, I have done this before in previous drafts. I've kind of gotten too cute with it and I've kind of gone astray of my game plan. Green salad was a, was a mistake.

Are you going to get napkins? Yeah. I was, I was half thinking of cups, but I realized I think cups is just too. Oh my God. That's got to be a part of it. Yeah. Everyone has cups. We'll just say utensils and, and plates are universal.

Right. Um, napkins too. I got to do something. I got, I got to do something to kind of beef up my main offerings because right now hot dogs are my only power player. Whoa. Yikes. That's what I'm going to do.

Two in a row. Here's what I'm going to do. Oh fuck. Ribs. Fuck. I knew it was coming. God damn it. Yeah.

Very good. Very good. Nothing like some, some barbecue ribs. So I can add meat off that bone, a little bit of barbecue sauce. Yes. Real delicious. Yeah. Very good.

And, uh, with my next pick in the draft. Oh boy. Uh, fuck. What do I need? What do I need? Uh, fuck. Um, uh, you know what? It's out there.

I don't really have a place for it on my roster, but at this point I'm going to draft defensively. I'm taking guac. Oh yeah. Oh my God. I've eaten guacamole on hot dogs. Very good. That totally works. Very good.

If you want to play defensively, you fail because I just got myself a drink that's going to make this barbecue complete. Okay. It's called a margarita. Oh man. That's great. And guess what? With ice.

Ice is now mine. I have all of ice. I have all of ice. We need a really, we need a ruling from Dustin on this one. Enjoy your warm beers. No, that's crazy. I think everyone gets ice. Hey Dustin.

This sounds a little insane. Mitch is trying to say that he can draft as one pick margarita and all ice. Is that, is that fair? Can he, can he, can he claim all ice? Well, no man, you guys already got water. Yeah. Dustin, Dustin seems skeptical. I'm going to clarify that guacamole is a spread.

Okay. That's the same thing as guacamole is a spread. Okay. An unconventional opinion, but he's, he's ruling on this one. He's the acting commissioner. We'll take it as, okay. So you don't get all ice. We all get ice.

We all get ice. Everyone gets ice. Everybody gets ice. We'll be magnanimous. We're not going to try to undercut each other. But guess what? My barbecue is now on top. I think I've just retaken the lead.

Beer was tough. Yeah. Yeah. Margaritas and cheeseburgers. Very good. That's pretty fun. Yeah. Very good.

Okay. Betsy, we're back to you. Okay. Let's see. We've got, we're right now we've each got, this will be your sixth and seventh pick. Okay. So we'll go, we'll, how about an eight, an eight person, eight person, an eight item roster feels about right, right?

Okay. So we'll do, we'll do this. We'll do one more round and boomerang back to you and that'll be the final pick. Okay. So you're up against it now. You get two picks in a row and these are two of your final three picks. Okay. Here we go.

Try to think. I'm going to also have my ties. Oh, wow. That's my favorite drink. Mine. That's a great barbecue. It's a pretty fun summer. That's a great, that's a great drink.

Oh, shit. And you know what? I'll get some greens on mine. Asparagus. Grilled asparagus. I like to grill asparagus a lot. It's a nice treat. It's a grand conventional item, but you know, that paired with a tri tip.

That's going to be real nice. You got like the classic affair. You got some mojitos, some my ties. You got some, some nice proteins on that grill. He got some asparagus on the side. I feel like this is the thinking man's barbecue. This is, this is a classy barbecue. All we do is talk about classical music.

I don't know if I want to go anymore. Encyclopedia. I have a question. Yes. I think it's a lot. I think I can draft it. Okay. I'm just going to say it.

And then I want you to. Okay. And then we'll scream if you're right or wrong. It might, it might lurk over into Betsy's category. Steak tips. Hmm. I think, I feel like that overlaps with tri tips. That's garbage.

I was the one who yelled. Fine. Dustin. Whatever. Steak tips don't count. Cause I mean, then that just means that I'm, I'm just like, I'm rolling. I'm rolling in at that point, right? Right.

Yeah. You're doing pretty good. I choose instead. Fuck. Now I don't know. Now I'm going to choose instead lemonade. Oh, that's a really good one. That's good.

That's very good. I don't know if I'm happy with that choice, but that's, that was the other one. Yeah. You need, you need a non-alcoholic beverage. And that's what I'm weighing as well. Cause I certainly need it. Need something non-alcoholic for my roster. I feel like I gave you guys the opportunity to draft it and it was bypassed.

So at this point I'm claiming sodas. Fuck. So I got beer and sodas at mine. And you know what? If you're someone who wants an array of different beverages, maybe Weigar's party is the one to come to. Cause they also got wine. What? You drafted wine?

Yeah. I'm taking wine with my last pick. I also want to say that this is garbage that you get. You have to draft like, we drafted, we didn't say all booze. Right. I feel like you're going to pick one fucking soda buddy. Okay. All right.

I'm going to say, wait, fuck. Okay. Shit. And you know what? Pick one brew dog. Your piece of shit. Yeah. I've got to pick one specific brand of beer.

Yeah. But I don't know if that's one to one with a table drink. All right. You know what? I would say fine. All beer is fine even though that's garbage, but you can't get all soda. Okay. I can't get all sodas.

How about this? I'll say. You can get the diet and the regular of whatever. You get the diet and the regular of something. And the caffeine free. I'm going to take, I'm going to take the Coke family then Coke family of sodas. Okay. Yeah.

That's still way too much, but fine. Nick, What do you think is appropriate? No, but you know what? I'm going to take a family too. And you're going to be upset because I'm taking the ice cream family. Oh Jesus Christ. I didn't get any sweet treats.

Desserts. Desserts. That's good. What an oversight. That's very good. Ice cream. Ice cream, Nick. Ah, fuck.

You bested me. You piece of shit. I'd rather go to your barbecue. Yeah. Cheeseburger is an ice cream. That's more fun. That's very good. You know, you're a little light on the sides because you just got corn.

Well, you got macaroni salad now. You're just better than mine. I did a bad job. I mean, I picked third, but I did a bad job. Don't say that. You got your green salad in old dressings. All right. Betsy, you have.

Don't forget your guac. Yeah. What are we going to do with that guac? I got too cute. This is what I always do. I get too cute. All right. Betsy, you got, you got your roster so far.

Try tip coleslaw, chips and dips, mojitos, barbecue chicken, my ties, asparagus. Take us home. One final pick to round out your elite eight. Okay. Okay. One fine. I'm trying to think. Should I go desserty?

Hmm. Or should I, I kind of want to just pick another drink. Um, yours is the, might end up being the drunkest. You know what? Yeah. Everybody's going to be hammered. Yeah. I'm going to go kind of desserty, but this is also just always fun.

Donuts. Donuts. Let me take an unconventional pick. Not something I've, not something I've encountered a lot of barbecues, but I respect it. Donuts are great. I think anytime people bring donuts to things, like, yes, you get it. I also was considering just bringing Taco Bell. If you put Taco Bell on yours, maybe we'd all go to your body.

I'll stick with donuts though. We'll get a little desserty. I feel like those are going to get hot, get a little melty in the sun. Oh, that's not bad though. Yeah. A little melty donut. The glaze is starting to get a little runny. Because it's still good.

They can keep them in the shade. Yeah. You can keep them in the shade. Yeah. I like it. I think it's an unconventional pick, but I like it a lot. I draft a swimming pool. Okay.

You know what? Let's do that. We'll get one swing pick for a backyard feature. Hold on a second. I just, I just, Mitch gets a swimming pool. Oh, wow. Because you had the, you were bold to bring it up. That's good.

Some backyard feature. Some sort of physical feature in the backyard that's going to distinguish your barbecue from the others. Mitch has a pool. I know what I would pick second. I'm curious to hear what you would pick second. We'll see, we'll see after we finish this round. You're on the clock, Betsy.

Oh shit. Sorry. I would, I think it would be fun to have a big old deck in a backyard. Oh, big old deck. Just a huge deck. Yeah. Chill on. I agree.

Yeah. I'm picking a feature that's, I'm picking a feature that's going to be a little polarizing. Uh-oh. And it could cause some chaos, but could also cause a whole lot of fun. Dogs. Oh. Fuck your city barbecue with a bunch of dogs running. I like that.

Just a bunch of dogs. Eating everyone's food, shitting all over the lawn. They're domesticated dogs. They're there to hang out. People can pet them. They can have fun. That's fun. Yeah.

Do they belong to anyone? Uh, yeah. There's someone, someone brought their dogs. That's where the dogs come in. They don't eat stray dogs. You just wander into the party. Stray dogs. Also, they're in heat.

What? Why? Why? That's good. What was the second? Uh, uh, uh, an indoor air conditioned space. That is gigantic. That kind of actually wins.

Actually. That's my favorite thing to do at a barbecue. Yeah. Go indoors to a cooler spot. Yeah. If that sun's really beaten down on you, you want to go inside and watch the game. Oh, sunscreen would have been good too. Oh, that.

We're all going to get sunburns. Shoot. What do you, what do you call on your, uh, barbecue? What's the name of the party? Well, I feel like, uh, oh, what, what, what do we call on the party at Weigar's place? Um, would never happen. Impossible. Weigar's dog.

Yeah. Weigar's, Weigar's hot dog and brew dog dog down. Oh, dog, dog, dog. What do you think of mine? Um, what do you think of Mitch? Uh, you got, you got cheeseburgers. You got sausage. You got macaroni salad.

Mitch's wet and wild corn snack off. Snack. Snack off. Mitch's wet and wild corn snack off. Betsy, what do you think? I think just Betsy's backyard barbecue bash. Oh man. That sounds a lot.

That's fucking cool. A lot more fun. Yeah. A lot, a lot better. I wouldn't want to attend one of these other weird parties, but yours sounds actually pretty fun. Ours. No one will come to ours anyways. Right.

You're the only one. You're the only person who will attract friends to come do it. Well, you know what? I will sit alone. In the spirit of summer, Mitch and I are coming to your barbecue. Yeah. And we're bringing all our stuff. Yeah.

Including the pool and dogs. What a perfect barbecue. So now there's wet dogs everywhere. They're eating all the guac, but you know what? There's some chips to dip in that guac. And we're bringing sunscreen and an indoor AC environment. Perfect. Perfect.

That's a good barbecue. Yeah. That's a great barbecue. Ours all combined. Whoever you thought it was the winner, tweet at us using the hashtag. Just use the hashtag of each group's name. Right? Yeah.

That's good. All right. Hashtag. Perfect. Betsy's backyard barbecue bash. Mitch's wet and wild corn sack off. Or Wiger's hot dogs and Brew Dogs dog down. Betsy Sadaro.

Yes. What a treat to have you. Oh, thanks so much for having me. It's one of the funniest people on the planet. Oh, you guys are too nice. Your show, Disjointed, I think is out in August on Netflix. Is that correct? Anything else you would like to plug at this time?

I don't know if you are ever in LA. You want to come see stuff at UCB? I'm there Friday, Saturdays, and Sundays, baby. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Weekend with Betsy. Weekend with Betsy. Weekend with Betsy's.

Weekend with Betsy's. Oh, that'll do it for this episode of Don't Boys Double. Yeah. One more note. I'm going to leave you with a very special moment of meow. Oh, no. Hold on. You got the ox cord, Mitch.

You can always plug in the ox cord for this. Oh, yeah. Whatever. He's just holding it up to the mic. All right. This will be a great moment of meow. It's coming. The audio is pretty low.

I know what is happening here. I don't know. Do you have your volume switched on? This better be good. Betsy, this is not good. This is the best this has ever gone. This is the smoothest this has ever been. Oh, wait.

Hold on. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here's my moment of meow. Hit him with a meow, Irma. All right. Now take it away, Wally.

Okay. Pretty good. Now both together. Both together. Irma. Wally. Good enough. Good enough.

Good enough. Good enough.