Doughboys - Doughboys Double 14 - Unsatisfied Yelpers with Erin Whitehead

Episode Date: July 3, 2017

Free preview of Doughboys Double!Erin Whitehead of Wild Horses returns to the podcast as we present a biggie size edition of our much requested Doughboys 1.0 segment An Unsatisfied Yelper. But first, Mitch challenges Erin and Wiger to a Dr Pepper guessing game.To subscribe to the Doughboys Double go to: patreon.com/doughboysWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Doe Boys Double, I'm Nick Weigar alongside the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell Mitch. Yes. You're very, I don't want to use the word infirm, but you've been getting over an illness. I've been getting over an illness for sure. You're hanging in there. Yeah, I'm hanging in there. I was sick for, I was a little let, I told you I was let down by my doctors. Right.

I was sick for a full week. I got a cluster headache. Yeah, yeah. A couple of quacks you encountered. I went to a couple, I went to a couple, no good docs. I'm trying to think of a bad doctor from film history. We start Nick. Oh, Dr. Nick.

Yes. You're looking right at Nick. Yeah. You would have been a better doctor than some of the doctors I went to. You think so? Yes. You would have kept making me do the cough test. You know, I heard this is, and I was surprised to hear this, but the reason they're like

turn your head and cough is it's as simple as they don't want you to cough on them. Yeah, that makes sense. I think. Yeah. But I always thought like, oh, there's got to be some anatomical reason. It's like, you know, it stretches out some tendon or something like that, but it's not. I haven't had the cough test in forever now that I think about it. I'm going to demand it when I go back to the doctor.

You know what? What I remember about the cough test is that my, my childhood doctor, the thing that made it worse for some reason is he would say, all right, check your scrotum real quick. And like him, by him saying, him setting up is real quick. It like made it feel interminable. And then did he take a very long time? Maybe. Maybe that was his trick.

A little reverse psychology. Yeah. I flew to New York. I got a cluster headache, which I never had before. And then. Sounds like a nightmare. Which is, yes, it was, it was a nightmare. I thought I was having a stroke and then sinus, some, so maybe it was sinus related.

I don't know. And then I got sick for over a week, almost for, for about 10 days. And now I'm breaking out in rashes. Man, you're a mess. I am a mess. And I've been, and you know that I've been trying to be healthy, which is the thing that has really, is really bugging me. Well, thankfully you and me and our guests and our engineer are in your hot zone apartment

for the next hour. So we'll contract whatever you have. If I was patient zero, I mean, it would get a lot of listens to the podcast. I'm sure. Right. Right. And it's spreading from here. Yeah.

It should be a historical document. I don't know. The rash is what can. So I got to go back. I drive, I drag myself to the damn doctor and then help me out. So I got to go back. You know what I say? Doctors are no good.

Every doctor is no good. No, I just had a couple. No good. You had some bad experiences. But you know what? I got, I got some, and we were going to talk about this, but we decided to talk about something different today, which I think is going to be a lot of fun. All right.

Well, let's, let's get to it. Yeah. Let's introduce our guests from HBO's animals and the best improv group in the city. Wild horses. Aaron Whitehead is here. Hi, Aaron. Hi. Welcome back.

Thank you. You haven't been with us since very early on. What about the best? What about the improv group crud that I'm in? You're right. I forgot about crud. Your group with, uh, with, with Matt Koalic and Jack Allison and Dave Ferguson, right? And Mike Hanford and Paul Oyen, who is now an architect.

Oh yeah. He got the smartest one of the group, got out of comedy and selling productive with his life. We battled the real world. Right. That was, we battled and beat the real world in a improv competition that was aired on MTV. Aaron, do you remember that? The actual cast of the real world? Uh-huh.

I did not see that. This was, this is, and this is like one of how laughably fake TV is in one specific instance is the job of the real world one season was to be a Herald team at Iowa West. So like, Oh my God. Well, that's, no, I won't say it. Say it. Say it.

In my mind, I was like, probably nobody noticed. But the idea is that you would like that you would garner any sort of income from performing improv. Like that would be enough. Maybe if you're part of like the who's lying touring company, you're making enough to live off of, but in general, people doing improv or maybe getting five bucks. Most of the time. Most of the time.

And that's for ballet. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. They finally caved and gave us parking. Right. Yeah. They were not good.

They were, they were, of course, not funny. Right. The real world people were, of course, not funny people. Yeah. A bunch of meatheads. Those aren't going to be people that kind of life experiences. I think anyone can, you know, anyone can do improv. Right.

But yeah. Those people couldn't. They weren't funny. Well, getting them to a truthful place, I feel like it would be hard. I want to hear the monologue where they're like, I just want to be loved and looked at. So I did this. They're never going to admit that. Right.

I don't have a talent, but I want to be famous. Right. There's no vulnerability that's going to come from them. It's all going to be like, I remember that sometimes, like, you know, because I would occasionally sub improv classes back in the day at UCB. And you sometimes get like model types, you know, men and women who are taking, like clearly they're acting teacher or their manager. Yeah.

Like rich types. Like someone, one of their reps had told them, hey, take an improv class, it'll be good for your resume. They try to like, Oh, I'll tell a monologue for my life. It was something like, I remember someone once telling a monologue, it was a woman. She was talking about cavorting on Paul Allen's yacht. Yeah. The bragging monologues are so fun.

And the audience immediately is like, we hate you. Right. Yeah. We were going to talk about, you know what? I want to talk about sick foods. That was my big. But you know what? Who gives a shit about that?

Because I have a fun game to play. I'm very excited about this. I'm very excited about it too. When I was at Matt Koalic's bachelor party, I played this game and it was the most fun I had, maybe ever, but definitely at the bachelor party. We played a little game where we guessed the ingredients in Dr. Pepper. Cool. I'm imagining Nick, you and one other person playing this while everyone else is getting

laptop dance. Of course, me and I played versus stripper. No, there was no strippers. So the flavors in Dr. Pepper. Okay. Yeah. My friend drew gave me the idea to talk about sick food, but we'll talk about sick food at another time.

We love soup and so on, whatever. We'll get with the way we treat our bodies. We'll get sick plenty of times in the future. This might be my last sickness. I'm not sure. Wait. So this is flavors or ingredients? It's flavors.

There's 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper. Wow. Which are like unknown, but they're kind of known. So wait. And I just want to tell you guys, the both of you, before you start playing this game, and know what? You can play at home too. But I won, by the way, and I guess some fucking hard ones that neither of you will get.

If you do, I will be impressed that you got them. That's all we get. That's all I'm going to say to you. It's going to be me bragging. No, I meant all we get is you being impressed. There's no prize. Oh, yeah. No.

Oh, you know what? If you win, the winner gets this Baja Fresh gift card that Nick and I forgot to give away on the Doughboys 420 show. Oh, hell yeah. It's $20.04. There is now a stain on it. I love Baja Fresh. There's also a, I think I wrote the little card there for, like, what does that say?

It says, to the biggest stoner from the Doughboys. Right. Baja card value $20.04. Happy 420. We thought it would be funny to give away a card that was $20.04 on 420 because it's closed. Yeah. But also the guy at the restaurant, I think just made it for $20, even though we paid $20.04.

Yeah. Also $20.04 doesn't quite translate to 420. No. You have to, like, think about it a little bit. But let me tell you, it was a live show and Nick, we fucking kill. Oh, man. We crush. We crush.

It was like 90 minutes late because it was a night of 420 shows. So everyone was stoned on stage in the audience. All the shows dragged on forever. So, like, we didn't get up. I don't think we got up on stage to, like, $12.45 for a show that was supposed to start at midnight. But which wasn't, you know what? It wasn't the host because Armin and I hosted the host duties.

No, it wasn't the host fault. It wasn't the host fault. No, it was the shows that were booked prior to your show. And then by the time, like, everyone was so tired. And we also didn't have a bit planned out. We didn't. What do you have? I guess we just gave this, oh wait, we just asked dumb questions.

Yeah, we asked dumb questions. That's what it was. Why are we recapping this? I don't know. I mean, I just said we killed. And then you recap and show that it was a bad bit. Right, this is my fault. Yeah, it's your fault.

So this was kind of like a microcosm of what happened on stage at that show. You and I didn't really know what we were doing. And then we bickered about it. All right, so let's get into this game. I'm just going to let you steer the ship, Mitch. All right, there's 23 flavors. I'm going to have you go one at a time. You know what we were doing?

We were to get to like to keep going. You had a match. Each person had to get one. But I feel like you can get how many, how many lifelines, how many, how many wrong, how many wrong as each, each round. If you have to get something right to go on to the next round is what I'm trying to say. Okay. And then I think I'm going to give you what three lives.

Should we do Mario? Yeah. Okay. Three lives. Okay. So round one, Aaron, we'll start with you name one flavor in Dr. Pepper. Prune. Whoa.

Wow. Aaron. Yeah. With the answer of prune, you are correct. Wow. One of the very hard ones right off the bat. That is tough. Nick, are you, you're looking at your computer.

I'm not looking, I'm not looking anything up. I swear I'm not looking anything up. Are you looking at a can of Dr. Pepper? Just trying to glean some info from it's huge. Inspired, but yeah. Right. Let's see. Okay.

So I guess an ingredient from it. Mm hmm. Wait, this is not ingredients though. These are flavors. Flavors. Because at this point it's like naturally artificially. Yes. Of flavors.

All right. Great. I'm going to guess. Mm hmm. Cardamom. Whoa. What the fuck? Nick.

Yeah. With the answer of cardamom, you are wrong. You don't fuck. All right. Round two. Actually I'm going to have you both give your answers and then I'll reveal who is right and who is wrong. Sounds good.

Round two. Nick, you have two lives left. Okay. Aaron, you may begin. My God. Um, molasses. Okay. Molasses.

Are you locked in on molasses? Yeah. Okay. Excellent. Nick. Shit. Molasses is a good guess. It's from the south.

That's the kind of ingredient they'd use. Mm hmm. Fuck. Uh, sugar? Okay. Sugar is now locked in. Shit. Is it locked in?

Yeah, locked in. Okay. With the answer of molasses, Aaron, you are correct. And that is one of the ones I guess that is very, very hard. Yeah. That is hard. You guys are good at this. Nick, sugar.

Oh wait. When I say you guys, Aaron, you are good at this. Nick, with the answer of sugar, that's even worse than your last answer. Incorrect. You have one life left. It definitely has sugar. It definitely has sugar, but that's an ingredient. That's an ingredient flavor.

Yeah, I guess so. You think of the flavor of sugar? His next one is going to be citric acid. Wait, so the idea of 23, like where does the number 23 come from? That's just how many it was in there. There's a movie about it, isn't there? What? Right, right.

Yeah, it drives Jim Carrey mad trying to guess all the ingredients in Dr. Pepper. I think that's what the movie is about. He's trying to figure out what's in Dr. Pepper. No, I don't know why there's 23 flavors in it. Okay. Yeah. Anyways, this is about to be over, so maybe we will have to talk about sick food because Nick is going to fuck up again, I'm sure.

We got plenty to fill the agenda, Mitch. All right. Aaron. Oh, God. Another one. Third round, yes. You're doing great. You're on fire right now.

Cherry. Your answer is cherry. Are you locked in? Locked in. Okay. Nick? I was going to guess cherry. Wow.

But then I was starting to second guess it because I was like, oh wait, but there's cherry. There's like a diet vanilla cherry, Dr. Pepper. So I was like, that has cherry added, so maybe cherry is not inherent to it. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going to get any errands, right? Mm-hmm. I wonder if there's another berry in there. I really don't want to.

Okay. I don't really want to get this wrong. I'm not trying to lose here. I think you're going to. I'm going to say cinnamon. Mm-hmm. Okay, Nick. Your answer is cinnamon.

Mm-hmm. Locked in. Locked in. Okay. All right. With your answer of cherry, Aaron, you are correct. Oh. God damn.

Nick. Mm-hmm. With your answer of cinnamon, you are not correct, but you're not knocked out. Okay. Because it's a rumored flavor, but it is not confirmed. Oh, okay. All right. Wait, so is this, are these flavors then?

Are they not? Aaron, quiet. You're in the lead. There is no need to question. Okay. How do they not know all the flavors? Yeah, this is my question. Is it like those, so, those, so, who are the wine tasters who just make up flavors?

Somalia. Somalia is. Yeah. Who go like, uh, tire, and they're like, you're right. Yeah. There's no tire. Professional bullshitters. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, whatever. Uh, whatever. We'll keep playing the game. Wait, so there are 23 confirmed flavors and additional rumored flavors. So there might be more than 23. Cinnamon is like one of the ones that is, that is borderline. I don't think there's an exact list for it, but there's 23, there's consensus for the

23. You know, we were talking about quacks earlier. I think the biggest quack all is Dr. Pepper. Why don't you write your damn formula down? Your goofball? Because then someone will steal it. Right. If they write that formula down, you know, sure as hell, I'm going to get all these flavors,

mix it up in my sink, and take it out into the street. Also, these flavors aren't things that are actually in it. It's essences, I bet. Like you're LaCroix. Right. It's like a spray of chemical that resembles a flavor. Yeah. I mean, I want to repeat, you're in the lead.

I mean, I'm excited to win. Don't mess with what you got going on. I don't see how she loses at this point. Because I have, she's got a three ingredient lead. You've got to pass. You still have, you have, you have one life left. Right. But she's got a three ingredient lead and I can only get one additional wrong answer.

There's basically no way for me to win unless she gets three wrong in a row. Well, Nick, we're switching up. You're going first this round. Okay. Cinnamon is a rumored ingredient. Cherry is a confirmed ingredient. That's right. Let me tell you something about old Dr. Pepper.

Uh-huh. I don't think he puts just one fruit in his mix. Mm-hmm. I think in addition to that cherry, he's also got a little bit of blackberry. Okay. Is that, are you locking that in? I'm giving blackberry the Weiger lock. Wow.

Okay, Erin, it's your turn. Okay. Vanilla. It's a good guess. Are you, are you locked in? Yep. Okay. Erin, with the choice of vanilla, you are correct.

Wow. You are killing it at this game and definitely would have won. Nick with blackberry. Mm-hmm. You got your first one right. Correct. Hell yeah. All right.

That was a risk. Next round. And then. You did one. Hopefully this ends with Weiger getting it wrong. Erin, it went from going too fast to now being too long. Erin, you're up. Oh, God.

I'm kind of doubting this one, but I'm just going to say it. Okay. Coffee. Mm-hmm. Okay, coffee. Interesting. Are you locked in? Yeah.

Okay, locked in. Nick. Erin's going coffee. I'm going to go with a different substance that modifies your mood. Mm-hmm. Rum. Okay. Erin, you say coffee.

That is incorrect. Wow. You lost a life. Nick, you say rum. Mm-hmm. Rum, huh? Mm-hmm. Rum in a soda drink.

A rum flavor, yeah. Yeah, okay. Something you might encounter in the South. For little kids, they should put rum in the Dr. Pepper. I'm not saying they put rum in it. I'm saying it has a rum-like flavor. An essence. Like a mocktail, yeah.

And guess what, Nick? Mm-hmm. You're correct. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow indeed. Rum is a little flavor.

This is turning around. Right, Dr. Pepper. Fuck. But let me tell you something. You gave me a pass, Mitch, and I didn't call you out on it, although I would have if I'd gotten it wrong. I never locked in. What the fuck?

So you were hoping that I'd get it wrong? So you were hoping that if it was wrong, you could say that you weren't locked in? Yeah, I did that on purpose. I was waiting for you to call me out on it and you didn't. All right, fine. Guess what? It worked out in your favor. Hell yeah.

Or maybe I should just say the game's over and you've lost because you weren't locked in. All right, Nick, you're up. Okay. All right, I got to guess something else that's in Dr. Pepper. That's right. Coffee's not. Rum is.

That's right. We got cherry. We got blackberry. Yes. We don't have to recap here. I'm thinking. I'm thinking out loud. You got cherry?

I'm trying to figure out what to land on. You got blackberry. There's definitely got to be some other sort of spice in there. Cinnamon isn't, it's only rumored, but you know what might not be rumored and confirmed, I'm going to say ginger. Ginger, are you locked in on that? Lock in ginger. Okay.

Aaron, you're up. Okay, I'll counter with nutmeg. Oh, nutmeg is great. Wow, nutmeg is my answer. Are you going to lock that in? I'll lock it. I'll lock it. Fuck.

Guess what? You're both right. Hell yeah. Wow. Moving on to the next round. The seventh round? Who cares? Aaron, you're up.

Oh my God, I'm sweating at this point. By the way, Koalic, I don't think got one right on his own bachelor party. Wow. Then we pushed him in the pool. Yeah, does he still get to get married? No, that was the deal. Wow, okay. I'd say he was waiting there to see if he won.

Aaron, you're up. Okay, I'll say cough medicine. What the fuck? Very unconventional choice. Are you locked in? No. Cough medicine. It does kind of taste like that, but I'm just going to get it on the list.

Fuck man, it's really this. Why is this mean? It's not easy. It means so much to me at this point. I know, you want to win. You did really well. I mean, you should be the winner no matter what. Yeah.

No, I mean, Nick really came back. I don't think we can actually catch up. Nick will guess like hair or something. I think I got a good one brewing. Okay, I'll go chocolate. Chocolate is, are you locked in on chocolate? Yeah. Okay.

Chocolate's a very good guess. I'm going to go back to the fruit family. I'm going to say there's a little bit of grape in this bad boy. You're saying grape, eh? I'm going to lock in grape. I had that as a possible, yeah. You're locked in. Chocolate, grape.

It's actually in there. Aaron with chocolate. It's a rumored flavor. Rumored, okay. You get a pass. There's a list that I'm going by. So we're just going by this 23 list. Mm-hmm.

But it is a rumored flavor. Okay. So you don't lose a life. You still have two lives. What is this list from? Like what site are you looking at? Don't, it's from listafterlist.com. Okay.

Is that from like the list app though? There's one from Cura or whatever it is too. Oh, okay. That's what I'm using it because that has like a breakdown. Right. What is rumored? Nick. Mm-hmm.

What was your answer again? Wait, did I give an answer? Oh, I think grape. Grape. Yeah. Hmm. Is Nick going to make his grape escape from the game? Jesus.

That was a guttural laugh you had right there. That was great. Nick. Mm-hmm. It comes to grape. Yes. You are. Wow.

You are. Wow. Hold on. You are. Wait, really? You're correct. Hell yeah. Whoa.

You're in. Wait, so what are we, what is the score at this point? Yeah, have you been keeping a tally at all, Mitch? Uh. Did this go longer than you thought it would go? It went much longer than I thought it would go. I thought you guys would be out like around or two ago. Right.

You are now probably matched as far as guessing. I think she is still ahead by like one. Yeah, that sounds right. Don't give it to me. Yeah. Don't just give it to me. We've got to know. But how many strikes do you have?

One. If you have one strike. She has one strike. And I have two strikes. Because she got a pass. But you got multiple passes, right? Like the rumored flavors. Yeah, I got two rumored.

I got maybe two rumored flavors. Two rumored flavors. One rumored flavor. One rumored flavor. So she's ahead of you. And you suck. Right. All right.

Next round. Let's end this shit. Erin. Hmm. I know that this means a lot to you. And I should have kept in track. Okay. I'll say, I'm going to say T.

T. Okay. Are you locked in on that? Yes. Okay. Nick. She's locked in on T. What are you locked in on?

Hmm. Hmm. Has got to be something that we haven't touched on yet. Maybe something that adds a little bit extra spice to this. God. I'm going to say. Spice. Jesus.

I'm going to say. Hmm. Cloves. Oh. Cloves. Okay. Cloves is a flavor. Okay.

Nick, when it comes to cloves, you're correct. Hell yeah. That's amazing. Because now that you say that, I feel like I can truly taste that when I drink it. Right. Fuck. It's like one of those things that's in a lot of stuff. You should have asked your, that same question about T because you can't taste it because

it's not in there. Wow. Wow. Okay. So we each have one life left. We're knotted up. But the thing is, since it's not like we're going to, we can both get this right. So this still can go on for like another 40 minutes potentially.

Unfortunately, this could go on for another 40 minutes. Wait, Steven, have you been keeping tally? Our engineer, Steven Ray over here. And you know what? He's stepping over to make his mic. Yeah. I told him to. It was all you.

So right now, I think you guys are tied up. Yeah. Erin did molasses, prune, cherry, vanilla, nutmeg, and then Nick did ginger, blackberry, rum, and cloves. So I think that's five and five. And then two rumored each with chocolate and cinnamon. Yep. So.

Wow. Wow. Like the most exciting thing that's ever happened in podcasting. All right. Here's what. Yeah. Right. This was like Marin interviewing Obama's like number two.

And then the Dr. Pepper challenge on the double is number one. So late. Wait. So I'm wondering if we should we do something? Should we do like some sort of lightning round? Sure. Have to get. Should we all try it?

Should we just keep going until we get something wrong? Yes. Does that maybe maybe that's what we're doing anyway. Maybe that just speak quick into the pace. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to give you notes on your game. That's the way you want it. I'm sorry.

There's no notes to give. We're a team, Nick. I don't want to take responsibility for this Dr. Pepper game. I know. We'll add where if we can convince you that it should be a flavor. We still get full length. Okay. That's okay.

Great. All right. I mean, it's right now it's done. If you're wrong, you're up. Okay. Great. All right. So here we go.

Who are you going to go first? I always go first. Okay. I'll go first. Wow. Because I got one. I'm going to steal it. All right.

Let's hear it, Nick. Banana. Locked. Wow. He loves his minions and he's locking in banana. Damn right I do. Nick, you came in. I thought you were wearing a pink Floyd t-shirt.

Instead, it's the minions in the temple of doom. Right. Yeah. We got a Stuart and Kevin and I don't think that's Bob because he doesn't have the different colored eyes, but another of the two eyed minions and they're writing in a, they're writing in what? What do you call these things? A mine cart.

A crew is behind them. Do you know what that character's name is? I can't remember what he's called. No, he's the guy in temple of the... The heart. Right? The guy who pulls the heart out. Yeah.

Yeah. The bad dude. Yeah. It's a nice little design. So I thought you were wearing a shirt that teens to 20-year-olds would wear. Uh-huh. Instead, you're wearing a children's shirt. Is he holding what looks like a potato, but is that a minion heart?

Ooh. Oh boy. I didn't see that. Oh yeah. Just like a general sort of grueless grenade. I don't think it's a minion's heart. They don't kill minions. No, we don't really see their anatomy ever.

They're just kind of immortal beings. Good. Good. That's cool. I can't, it's hard to tell. I think they reproduce asexually because they don't really have any, like the minions movie is like... How much have you thought about this?

Well, no, they've just kind of been around forever and then they, so they just like, they're just kind of a force that kind of exists throughout history. They would take over the world, right? If that's how they were. Well, yeah. If they didn't produce asexually and they didn't die. Yeah, that's true. But I get, maybe they don't reproduce, like maybe, maybe there's just like a fixed number

of them and they just sort of exist. I don't know. It's, the more, the lower is kind of murky, but they haven't just... It's like when they started having to explain the Smurfs, because it was like, there's one girl and she's the daughter. So how did they make all these? Yeah, exactly. I don't know, guys.

And I think it was magic, right? Or they all... I think it's magic. Or they all existed and then she was created by magic. Yeah. I think Gargamel made all of them or some of them. Oh, right. And then when he wanted to eat them.

It's fine to work. Anyway, he was making dinner. Maybe minions give birth to Smurfs and vice versa. Maybe those little yellow capsules come out of Smurfs. I don't know. Look, I don't give a shit. It's disgusting. I want to finish this fucking thing.

Okay. I have my answer. I have my answer. Okay. You locked in with... Banana. Banana. I'm going to lock in with licorice.

Licorice. Ooh, that's a good answer. You're locking in with licorice? Yeah. Okay. Licorice is... Licorice is a rumored flavor. Wow.

Boy. Who's to guess another day? If you... Here's the deal. If you get an actual confirmed flavor, you win. Wow. Did we confirm banana? He's locked in with banana.

Over your... Okay. You're saying this is the final round. If I'm... If it's a rumored flavor, we'll take a rubber match. If it's a confirmed flavor, I win. If it's not confirmed flavor, Aaron wins. That's right.

All right. I know the answer because I have the list. Yeah. Right. Nick. Mm-hmm. Fuck you and your minions. It's not a flavor.

Oh, yes. Aaron, you win the competition. Wow. Oh, my God. You're the dumbest piece of shit I know. Whitehead topples wagon. We win so far. Yeah.

We really won. There you go. Aaron, you've won the Baja Fresh gift card. Guys, thank you so much for my truly do love Baja Fresh. That's perfect. I eat there all the time. I hope it works. It will work.

The good people... So here, I'll just quickly... Just hope it didn't get demagnetized or something. Here's the list I was going for. By what? I don't know. I mean, it's just been sitting there since April 20th. Doesn't that happen with cards sometimes?

That's a month ago. Yeah. I feel like I have cards in my wallet that I've used like five years later. Yeah, I guess so. Demagnetized? Do you think I'm using a bunch of magnets in here? I often envision the worst case scenario for something. So I'm like, fuck, I'm going to give this person a gift card, but what if they take

to the store and it doesn't work? I have thought that too because there's no way to look at it and tell that it works. Oh, wait. Was your guess licorice? Mine was licorice. Oh, wait. It's a confirmed flavor. Oh.

Oh, you won outright. They list as black licorice. That's why I didn't see it. Oh, interesting. And I was going to say black and then I was like, play it safe and say licorice and see if he lets me do that. Well, guess what? Right.

Yeah. I did let you get away with it. Here's the list I was going for. Amaretto, almond, which I got. Blackberry, black licorice, carrot, clove, cherry. Carrot. Carrot? Fuck that.

Cherry, caramel, cola, ginger, juniper, lemon. Wait, cola? I was going to guess cola. And it was like... Cola is one of the flavors. Come on. Cola is a flavor because it's not technically Coke. I don't know.

That counts. What do you mean you don't know? I don't know. I'm telling you. You guessed such garbage. Cola is a much better guess than all of your guesses. All right. Juniper, lemon, molasses.

Juniper? Uh-huh. Molasses, nutmeg, orange, prune, plum, pepper, root beer, rum, raspberry, tomato, vanilla. That's the one that I went from. And then this other one had vanilla, amaretto, caramel, blackberry, raspberry, grape, coriander, juniper, spikynard. Spikynard. Cinnamon, cherry, and then a bunch of other ones.

Spikynard was your next spice. Yeah, I was going to say spikynard. I had spikynard on the tip of my tongue. Spikynard is a good villain name. Yeah, spikynard's like the bad guy in a frat movie. Well, that was the Dr. Pepper game. I hope you played along at home or were bored by it. Either way, it happened.

I also am craving Dr. Pepper like nothing else now. Oh, my God. And you're not a big soda drinker, right? I'm not, but I do love Dr. Pepper. And what were you saying, Mitch? My dad loved Dr. Pepper and it always hurt my soul that I didn't love it as much as I should. Right.

It's like, it's that weird. I like it now. I do. But when I was younger, especially, I was like, it's like drinking ginger beer or something when you were a kid. I could never, I like never, I could never really get into it. And now I do like it, especially a cherry or vanilla Dr. Pepper. It's good stuff.

Yeah. The vanilla Dr. Pepper is really good. Yeah. They up the cherry or vanilla flavor. I will say I, I went in strong because I, as a kid, a bunch of kids stopped drinking it because they heard there was prunes in it. And I, it was always just urban legend like nobody, nobody knew, but it was kids were like, ooh, Dr. Pepper has prunes.

So that was my first guess for that reason. That self cause like, do they like, is it, do kids not like prunes because they just don't like the taste of it? Or is it that sort of thing of like, it makes you shit? I think it has the association with old people. So it's not cool. And have you ever had like a dried prune where you were like, that's good. Like, I don't think there's something you really snack on, especially as a kid.

Kids are so dumb. They love their grandparents too, though. Kids love little kids. One of their big things is grandparents. Yeah. You love grandma and grandpa. Yeah. You love grandma and grandpa.

But you don't want to be like grandma and grandpa. And you smell their house. You know, like, like if you go into grandparents bathroom, it's like, what's happening? It's like medicine and powder. Like it's the wrong age smells. Let's be honest. Part of the reason people like kids love grandma and grandpa is because grandma and grandpa give them five bucks at Christmas.

You know what I mean? Yeah. What the fuck? I love my grandma and grandpa because they were cool. No, I do. I love my grandma and grandpa too. I had a lot of, but I mean, I think part of the reason kids have a positive association with them is like, oh, I see grandma and grandpa.

I'm going to get a new toy. I'm going to get money. I'm going to get something. You know what I mean? Yeah. That car has something in it. Yeah. You don't necessarily aspire to be like grandma and grandpa.

I'm not going to dress like them. I do. I mean, I grew up in the grunger, so I did dress exactly like my grandpa. Mitch, I like that segment a lot. That was a lot of fun. Yeah. That was really fun. Good job, guys.

I wonder if the listeners are like, that was the slowest. I think probably what I would do if I was listening to this, I would just go to Wikipedia and read the ingredients, listen, be like, uh-huh, and then just like skip ahead like 30 minutes. No, you got to play along. I think they should play along. That was actually more fun than I expected. All right.

Fuck you. That was great. All right. So, we've had a thing that happened on social media this past week where people brought up a segment we used to do on the show, an unsatisfied Yelper. Do you remember this, Mitch, from the Stone Age? I do. Of Doughboys.

Early Doughboys. We canceled it very early on. I think like within the first half dozen episodes, we got rid of an unsatisfied Yelper. We'd read a one-star Yelp review of whatever chain we were reviewing that week. Well, people started demanding it to come back. That's right. They were screaming about it in our Twitter mentions. And so, for that, it's like, I mean, Early Doughboys is like early Simpsons.

We talked differently. Right. It was a different show. Yeah. There were no drops. Mitch, let's go get some frosty chocolate milkshakes. Oh, my God. I wish that people could see you when you get into character and the dead look in your

eyes. Sure thing, Nick. That was me. Come on, Grace. Let's go to the store. Yeah. That's like Early Simpsons was all just like wanting to go to the store. Now Bart, we can't go to the store.

It's time for bed. I think he maybe did Cowabunga and those things didn't exist. Bart's head was also a huge right. If you look at Early Simpsons, he just had a gigantic head. They all look smeared like they're just like we're out of proportion. That's how Garfield looked too. He looked somehow wrong. Oh, yeah.

And then he finally got him and he was so much cuter when he was like the late 80s as opposed to like the late 70s Garfield. I agree. I think Garfield looked fucked up. Like in those early strips, he just looked so... Super fat. Yeah. Small eyes.

But you also hate Heathcliff so much that I can't really take your judgment on any cartoon cap. I do think Heathcliff has had a little bit more consistency in terms of character design. Yeah. But yeah, the actual strip is worse than Garfield for sure. He's white trash. All right, so people were demanding an unsatisfied Yelpers. So here's what we're going to do.

We're going to do a redux of unsatisfied Yelpers. I've put together a few different one-star Yelp reviews from various sources. I'll read them through and then you guys can comment. First up, I get a one-star review of Chuck E. Cheese's in Garland, Texas from Robert G. We reviewed Chuck E. Cheese's on the podcast. We certainly did with Aaron McGathey. Aaron, do you have Aaron Whitehead? Do you have any sort of opinion on Chuck E. Cheese's?

I haven't been since a kid, but it used to give me anxiety when their de-birthday party is there. Yeah, I can see that. I don't think it was anything to do with like, I liked the pizza and everything, but it felt like a lot of stranger kids and crossover and like I was going to get lost. There's a lot of social pressure there in that situation. All right, here's a one-star review of Chuck E. Cheese's. Here we go.

This is from Robert G. I used to enjoy taking the kids ages four and six to Chuck E. Cheese. Now they have done away with tokens and switched to cards that we will deduct points and not activate the games. But the reason we will never return to Chuck E. Cheese is we were there today and I watched as a man ordered beer and wine. I understand that they are trying to drive out morality out of families and America. But even Chuck E. Cheese, Jesus commands parents to train up children in a way

they should go to the owners and management. Shame on you for putting profit in front of child welfare. In my opinion, Chuck E. Cheese is an environment for child endangerment. The last I heard you were not permitted to take children into bars or nightclubs. If marijuana is legalized here, will Chuck E. Cheese sell and allow weed to be used in their premises also? If you are OK with your children being around intoxicated people. Last question.

Are the parents drinking at Chuck E. Cheese driving home? Wow, if you have a slice for each drink, I think you're fine. Right. All right, that is my thought as you were reading was just, oh, my God, we should go to Chuck E. Cheese. They have alcohol there now. Right. Um, quick word of warning.

It smells like dirty diapers. So it doesn't smell really bad. Yeah, it's it really is gross. You know the grandma and grandpa bathroom smell that we were talking about earlier? This is the other. This is the other end of it. Right. Little kids are so much grosser than grandma and grandpa.

Yeah. The other thing too, like if you and this this isn't a problem you would have, Aaron, but if you look like me or Mitch, then you have to get used to the site of parents gripping their children a little tighter when we're around. Yeah, I'm I wonder if like holding them so tight. Do you think they've become one of those places where you have to have a kid to go like Legoland? I felt uncomfortable going there without a kid.

Yeah, we were very uncomfortable. It was like one of my least favorite experiences on this broadcast, which I've had a lot of least favorite experiences. Yeah. But being at Chuck E. Cheese was one of the worst. Also, I showed up first, if you remember correctly. Yeah. And I think that I think we went separately that you van rode your date van.

Van was my day. Oh, maybe van was there before me. No, he was not. So many kids places would be better without the kids. Yeah, everyone's bringing roller skating back, which I think is a fun thing to go do as an adult. Yeah, there's children who will use you for balance, right? And I don't have good balance anyway.

I'm like, I got I got pushed down last time I went by a boy by a boy. A boy pushed me down. Wow, trying to get by me. Aaron, I know, you know, the schoolyard thing. He liked you. My God, you're right. I should have tried to understand where he was coming around. Um, I, uh, yeah, no, I think that it would be good for the world

if we had like a children of men situation where no children could be born for, I don't know, a couple of decades, right? If you generate. I mean, that might be happening anyway with global warming. Yeah. I saw some really alarming. Well, I'm pretty sure that. Oh, yes, we talked about this the other day.

Yeah, it's it's just like a dust bowl. Yeah, by 2030, the world's going to be just like totally arid. Well, that's the premise of a handmade sale, right? That the chemicals got so bad that most women went infertile. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I don't know. Well, Nick and I are doing our part in all this.

All right, next zero sperm inside of us. Next up, I get a one star review of Hooters speaking of sperm, a one star review of a Hooters at the Orlando airport. This is by Mike C speaking of sperm. Yeah, you know, Hooters, the number one, the number one sperm source, the number one sperm causer in the chain restaurant sector. All right, here we go. Here's I wouldn't like to like. Like I'm sure that in the it's a stat that is not collected,

but yeah, restaurant that has had the most amount of sperm within its. That is and that isn't like a gentleman's right. That's not a gentleman's club. Yeah, and not within a guy's like body, like you expunged. Expunged. Yes. What the fuck? Well, because otherwise, then it would just be like McDonald's because that is the most men in it.

Yes. So why would I want to know that? I'm just saying. So we're the most naked women and I mean, naked women who don't have clothes on because otherwise they'd always be naked. All right, here's Mike C's review. OK, Mike C's review. Got the new smoked wings, bland and rubbery.

You can tell the wings are flash fried before service. My real problem were the girls. None of these girls had an ass. I know it's Hooters, but who doesn't like a little junk in the trunk wrapped in orange shorts? None of these girls had an ass to save their lives. Sir Mixalot showed up and left because it was not going on like a turbo vet in here. And he loves his asses.

I know Hooters is about beer and boobs, but can you at least throw some some girls with ass that I can set my beer on? Thanks. Posting pics of the girls with no asses. Oh, my God. He posted pictures. He took some creep shots of some. I feel you may have done the world at the service by giving this guy a voice

because that's truly just. Should we get this out? Yeah, it's no, don't edit it out. But I don't even have a joke because it's so gross. Yeah, that's so gross. I mean, that's like I would think probably because I imagine working at Hooters is not necessarily the most fun job for a waitress there, but then also knowing that that's the kind of patron you will be serving at some point.

You know what I mean? It's it's like a specific in a specific type of scuzz bag. He really wants to look at someone's ass. Yeah, like he needs a big ass. He wants a juicy double while he's having a burger. It is such an exaggeration of the like already large problem of like men feeling like women are there for them. And like, but you're you should look like this because that's attracted me

when I walk by you or like make this face. And then the idea that he goes into a place where that's already like, yeah, we're accepting it. This is sort of a thing. It's hokey. And he's still like, no, I want more. Right. Yeah. What a little turd.

I feel like he just did that to get to somebody just walked in. Oh, we are our next guest. Yes, we're doing a block episode. Our next guest is a little early. Yeah, I told them the right time. That's all right. It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. It's not even his fault. It's fine to show up a little bit.

That's responsible to show up a little bit early. Are you yelling to make him feel good? All right, I'm done. I was on a soap. Yeah. All right. All right, Mike, see his trash. All right. Next up, we've got a one star review of Bukit Abepo on the Las Vegas Strip courtesy of Judy C.

No idea if it's a relation to Mike C. We'll find out. I was with a prom group of 48 who came here for the prom package. I made air quotes as I said, prom package, because it's in quotes. This was a three course meal that we prepaid for and everything. The food wasn't revolting or anything, but the day after about 25 of us got sick. Vomiting, stomach aches, migraines, fatigue, you name it. We called the restaurant and they merely said,

we'll look into it and never called us back as they promised. The school nurses got involved, which brought the health district involved. They realized we have contracted Norovirus. How can they take this so lightly? I'm surprised they haven't called back many of the students who called them to report the food poisoning, begging them to take a free gift card or something.

For crying out loud, they took our names and numbers and then specifically, they will call back the next day. And then there's a link to a news story on fox5vegas.com, a headline health district students contracted Norovirus after visiting restaurant. Because we're getting Norovirus from a chain restaurant? No, but usually your views, I don't take the side of the one Yelper. Yeah.

One star Yelper, but this one is... Does sound pretty bad. What exactly is the Norovirus? It's a stomach virus? Yeah, it's an intestinal bug that just... It's a food-borne illness that apparently makes you feel very, very sick for about one to three days. It is suspicious they all got it.

Right. Do I have a Norovirus? We were talking about how sick. Maybe I have more of them. But you haven't been throwing up. Oh, yeah, I haven't been throwing up at all. I think it's like, from what I understand, it's like a very short-lived, horrible throwing up.

Right. Yeah, I think it's just very uncomfortable for a short amount of time. Post-prom, though, that's a bummer. Maybe they'll drink at prom. Maybe they'll drink at prom. We're throwing up, told their parents. One of them was like, I'll go to the doctor

and say it's Norovirus. And then they're blaming Bukitapepo. Well, actually, we went to Bukitapepo. It kind of does suck. Who did Bukitapepo? We did it with our buddy Drew McQueenie. Oh, Drew, that's right. Yes, that was a fun one.

A lot of fun. We didn't get Norovirus. No, we didn't get Norovirus. Well, we might have. I think I ordered it. But it never came. Right. One star.

And it was still on our bill. Bunch of bullshit. All right, this is a, Aaron, on our episode, we reviewed taros when you were with the podcast. A notoriously terrible place. I know. And then it was so funny listening to episodes in this after that because I was like,

oh, people picked places they liked. I was just like, well, this was in my town. And made you guys go and do that. If I remember correctly, before we started recording, you said this is the best restaurant you'll ever try. You're right. Why am I trying to deny it? Yeah.

There's a one-star review of taros in Cerritos, California, courtesy of Albert V. Went for dinner with my mother, sister, and aunt. Service was terrible. The waitress was so rude, we asked for our appetizer, and she replied, ludely. She replied, replied, rudely. Why an appetizer?

The main course food will be out before the appetizer. So we canceled the appetizer, and she got mad and complained. We canceled. She only provided one soup and one salad when we needed three salads. After a long wait, she brought the other salads. After we asked her, she just got angry at us. Then after we ate our salads and soups,

the dirty dishes just sat on her small table for over 20 minutes. I finally had to get up and pick up the dirty dishes and take them myself toward the kitchen area. The waitress yelled at me and say, you have no business picking up those dishes. I replied, well, someone has to, because they have been sitting on our table for 20 minutes,

and there's no need to yell at me. My mother is elderly and lives in Cerritos. She had never experienced such a rude waitress and wanted to leave immediately after she yelled at us. Also, my mother requested to speak to the manager. They did not assist us at all. We asked the lady in the white shirt working the register, and she had no reply.

Please, no manager at this facility. We are recommending to our neighbors in the Cerritos and church community to stay away from this carers restaurant. Their employees are rude, they yell at you, and no manager to provide service. And if this is the way you treat your customers, then we want nothing to do with you restaurant.

Does this like, this strikes me as like, something a little bit wrong happened, and she was like, I don't think this is enough for my review, so I'm gonna make some stuff up. Because what waitress goes, you have no business picking up those dishes. Right, this review just makes me, this is sad. I feel like it's just a sad one.

It is just, I mean, if that actually happened, it's sad. And if this is some sort of like revenge fanfic, it's also sad. Yeah. It does feel like when someone, it just needs like a little more to make their story feel plausible even to them. Yeah.

Did she start working there? If she bust the dishes, did she just start working at the restaurant? Oh, she was the bus girl. That's the part that's missing. Yeah, there's a follow up. There's a follow up post that she got a job there. Do you remember my sandwich looks like a spider's nest?

Yeah, I did get a very fucked up looking sandwich. It had like some onion strings on it or something and some barbecue sauce. I like to this day, I'm like, ooh, like, I can't believe I ate any of that. Oh my God. Have me back, I'll pick a place that's actually good. Except that you got through everything I did.

I think we have to go back to Carrots. No, no, no, no, we can't. Oh, I might die. I'm curious, because I'm surprised, because a bunch of Carrots were closing. The one that is in Santa Monica that used to be there, that used to be by my work, they finally chiseled the Carrots logo off

of the empty husk of a building. Wow. So, but there's still some in operation, like the South Pasadena one we went to for that episode is still in operation. So I wonder how much longer it's gonna be hanging on or if it'll churn into a semi-independent, a bunch of different franchises

that are loosely affiliated, I don't know. Yeah. They gotta rebrand. They really do, they need something. They need a shot in the arm. I feel like friendly you should buy them out and do a West Coast thing. Oh, that's an interesting idea.

People would love that. Right, because they've got all of those, they've got all those storefronts already, they could just reappropriate them into something else. Should Doughboys buy Carrots? Oh my God, you guys. We could buy Carrots. Do you think we have enough in the war chest

to purge this entire restaurant chain? Maybe, what would we serve there, Nick? What would we serve at the Doughboys Carrots? Yeah. I'd serve, how about some of our favorites? How about a decent meal for a fair price? Oh, Jesus, sorry. How about drinks that get refilled

whenever you need them? Oh my God, you could get all the chains in on it and call it best of. And you serve one thing from every chain restaurant. That's a great idea. I think we can get everyone to sign off on that. Everyone will sign off on that. Why go to our restaurants when you can come to one place?

Yeah, the Avengers of chain restaurants. That's a good idea, actually. All right. That's a great idea. I mean, fuck, we gotta do it. I got nothing else but one. Mitch, I think you're gonna like this one. We've got a one-star review of Taco Bell

in Quincy, Massachusetts. Wow, that's fucked up. Your favorite restaurant in your hometown. Is it the one on Hancock Street? Let me see which location it is. This is by Kanan H. Yes, it's on 707 Hancock Street. Is that your Taco Bell?

It sure is, yeah, I love that Taco Bell. Well, you know, 48 reviews given an average of one and a half stars. So it's perhaps fallen into disrepair. Perhaps you're remembering it more fondly than it's actual quality level. Here we go. Don't tell me that.

I'm just saying something's going on. After you read this, I'm curious to know how other Taco Bells fare, like in other areas. I think, you know what, they don't do great. I think because I think Taco Bell, I think fast food restaurants in general, they're overwhelmed by people who have a bad experience. Because like, if you go to like a McDonald's,

you have a great time. What motivation is there for you to write a review? You know what I mean? It's not like an independent local business you wanna help trying to get more. Yeah, you're not trying to get yet. Get the word out. You can't tell me or whatever.

It's your nostalgia, that's why you like it. It was good. I think it's possible. I believe you. All right, fine, let's hear this review about the, not far from my house. All right, this is from Kanan H. Kanan H, I'm gonna find you, you piece of shit.

I'm gonna beat the shit out of you next time I'm in Quincy. It says he's six, seven, three hundred, ten pounds. Not a big deal. All right, here we go. So I'm writing this review three years later from my first review of this place. Not only has the performance decreased since the last review, but I'm currently

writing this review while I wait for my order. I ordered and I've waited for 10 minutes before redownloading the Yelp app and writing about this place. The leader, Mercedes, is telling her coworkers to make the darn food and the customers here are livid. The leader. A woman in a fur coat is yelling at Mercedes

for waiting 20 minutes. I ordered five minutes before this lady. She just told her daughter that she should have went to McDonald's as planned. The wait here is obviously long if you order inside. There are only three workers and they are dedicated to the drive-thru. I'm trying to make a showing of Logan at 1040

and I've been here half an hour. I finally got my food and I'm now stuck in my car due to the drive-thru lineup. Don't ever go inside. Other than that, the food is great. And screw you, fur coat lady. Seems like this guy's main problem is with his fur coat lady.

See, wait, I've been, this is my fault because I wanted to get in there with a clever remark, but was the woman in the fur coat, she was waiting for her food. She wasn't working in a fur coat. Yeah, she wasn't working. I mean, that would be quite exciting to see. And you know what, my mom's friends wear fur coats.

So fuck you, it could have been one of my mom's good friends who was in there. You know what I mean? You think so? Yeah. Also, it's 10 minutes, like, is that that bad? It's not that long. It's kinda long, but it's not that bad.

You know where you had to wait much longer, Nick, is Del Taco. The one in silver, like, here, you have to, sometimes you can wait like 40 minutes. It's insane. Look, I'm not gonna offend that particular Del Taco location. Yeah, it sucks.

I think you have better luck at some other ones. Yeah. So actually, the food sounded great. Yeah, he was really happy with the food. He said the food is great. People are dressing up to go to this town. It sounds like a nice talk to talk. It should have been a three.

Yeah, I think a one-star seems a little low for that one. All right, speaking of Del Taco, take us home with a one-star review of a Del Taco in my hometown, Lakewood, California. This is actually my home, Del Taco. Okay. This is the one. I believe it's on Del Ammo Boulevard.

Del Taco and Del Ammo. Yeah, the Del Ammo one. All right, here we go. This is from LD. Utter and total incompetence best defines this location. Ordered three Del Tacos. This one served three tiny palm-sized tacos. When I called in to ask if this was downsized an error,

whoops, it was a child size or what, eight times I had to ask Michael, all caps, if they changed the sizing, was an error or accident or whoops, wrong order or anything. I honestly think Michael was under the influence, mumbling and talking about beans in my combination order, then he mentioned my order and still did not understand. He was confused, non-sensical comments and responses

that are not even remotely equate to what could be a proper response. Rather than have the phone to appear when I asked for someone else, he decided to tell them a scenario not even close to mine. The female, Leticia, insisted on answering Michael's nonsensical paraphrase not remotely relayed to me or my order or my question or reality.

Leticia would not accept that I had my own question, not Michael's druggie fodder. I was told by Leticia to blame corporate. Corporate changes things and they just have to get used to corporate changing things. Well, I have no idea if I would serve dollar tacos, kitty tacos, Halloween treat size tacos, downsized tacos, taco tacos or what.

Neither employee could tell me why my tacos were each smaller than the palm of my food. One of the three tacos had about one tablespoon of meat. They should be ashamed. I'll tell you why. Because you got giant hands, you freak. Yeah. Man, that rattling off that list of tacos,

I was like Bubba Gump. Right. Yeah. You went into kind of a trans-toyer. Street-size tacos, downstairs tacos, taco tacos, soft-shelled tacos. Halloween-sized tacos, chicken tacos. They have Halloween-sized tacos.

I don't know. Oh, I think he was saying like a reference to a fun-sized can of meat. Yeah, but like, that's not... It's a weird turn of phrase. It's a very weird turn of phrase. I also love his thing of like, you know, the guy was mumbling nonsense,

and then he listed actual ingredients. Like, it sounds like he was trying to understand what was in the actual food. You know what, right. My stance on this is what I feel like, like how I always feel when I see Yelp reviews is that, don't leave them ever. Rate your score.

Yeah. And then don't leave a review, you insane human beings. Although I did leave a positive one once. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I should have said anything. Like, oh, no, I don't care. But now it's the way I find them again, if I need them.

I Google myself, comma, plumbing. Right. Cause... Oh, that's good. You know, I feel like local business, I feel like it's good for local businesses. Yeah, it was just like a, it was like a Studio City plumber

who was like truly nice. I mean, these people come off as like crazy folk, right? I like so many of these people. They really do. And I feel like there's, here's the thing. I feel like a lot of people who write these Yelp reviews just need to take a deep breath. Like it's just like you get super mad

and then you're writing it. Like they're like, a lot of times filled with typos cause I think people are just so mad. They're just writing them in the moment when they just felt like they've been, had some sort of atrocity that's happened to them. I feel like just, you know, relax a little bit and honestly evaluate it.

Cause also too, everything's so polarized. It's either one star or five star. This is the best, most essential thing ever or this is absolute dog shit. You know what I mean? And I feel like there's a lot of stuff like, at least some of these sound like two or three star experiences.

Well, I feel like too, if you're going to those places, you're like, you're already probably in a lot of need and that's why you need the comfort food. And if they disappoint in the littlest way, it's tantrum. Yeah. Time. That's true. All right, well that was a redux of an unsatisfied Yelper.

With the balance of our time, we've got ourselves a very special seasonal snack or whack. Well, do you ever feel like a cookie jar? That's been emptied out, wanting to chomp again. Do you ever feel that you're craving more from your standard snacks that you've beaten before? Do you ever feel already super full? Stomach gurgling, but no one seems to hear a thing.

Do you know that there's a brand new snack for you? Cause there's chocolate cookies just got put in. Some cream between one of what? Two halves at Pop Rocks 2. Available through July. There's Oreo fireworks. Come on, let your taste buds burst. Make them go yum, yum, yum.

As you put them on your tongue, tongue, tongue. Oreo fireworks. He's opening the box as he's doing that. Come on, let your taste buds burst. Make them go yum, yum, yum. You're gonna end up craving some, some, some. Yum, yum, yum. Oh.

All right, great. So you can't just say, all right, great when you're done. That's insane. Your expression, too, which was like, focus. I got to get through this. I know they're laughing. Oh my god. You wrote that.

Yeah. Look, I'm not a chain singer. I do my best. So we got these firework Oreos. These are a limited edition with popping candy. So I guess they've got like kind of a. I'll never get over that. I guess they've got kind of like a pop rock consistency

or something inside. They look a little like birthday Oreos. Stephen Ray is also having a taste. We can give it one to our next mystery guest. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, we can feel free to do that. He doesn't want any. That's all right.

They're still going to be up for grabs. All right, I've still got this playing at the low volume. All right, so let's take a bite of these and sort of see what we're thinking here. Oh, Nick, all this, this big production, was it worth it? What the fuck's going on with these? Oh, I guess it's okay. It's like an aftertaste.

No, if you keep it in your mouth, press your tongue to the root of your mouth and let it sit. The pop rocks go off. You're right. That's what it is. If you just eat them like a normal Oreo, you're going to be able to eat them.

If you just eat them like a normal Oreo, you can just kind of blaze right past the pop rocks. You have to let them linger for a second. Mine are popping. Wait, I want to see if I can do it here on the microphone. Now they're in the stuff stuck in my teeth is now popping. You can maybe hear it. Oh, yeah, that's weird.

That's a really weird sound. All of us open our mouths and put them around our microphone. Mm-hmm. God, that's fucking disgusting. Why is that disgusting? It's just such a gross, indistinct sound. And Oreos are maybe the worst thing that open your mouth. Nick, I don't know about these ones.

Here's my thought. Really? I'm into it. You're into it? Yeah. Do you like them more than a regular Oreo? To me, this taste hasn't changed, so I just sort of like the added pop. I'm not into the flavored Oreos.

Yeah. And you're not much of someone who eats a lot of gluten, so this is an occasion for you. I forgot to spit it out. I got a spit cup already for the gluten factor, but I forgot it was so delicious. I apologize. You can take that with you.

No, that's not your responsibility. You got a free spit cup now. Totally. This is for later. I got to say, this is... Here's what's weird is the lingering popping sensation. I'm just talking now, and I haven't eaten one in 45 seconds,

and I've still got this sort of like popping that's just going on the back of my throat. It's like very disorienting. I like it, but I think it might be a nostalgia thing because I used to love Pop Rocks as a kid. Right. Here's the thing.

With a special flavor, I feel like you always have to compare it to the regular one. I feel like it was a little kid. I might like the novelty of this, but as an adult male, I don't see a reason to have this over the regular Oreo. I'm going to go whack. Wow.

Whoa. I'm going to snack. It's just going to taste like Oreos. Yeah, it does taste like Oreos. Yeah, I go snack. I like that it is seasonally themed and works. Yeah. It works as a season.

It is annoying that I do want the popping to end. Yeah, I know. It just keeps going in my mouth. I think it's going to continue for the rest of our lives. Uh-huh. There you go. You know what? I'm changing my answer back to snack.

We're in the hand holding club. I took a sip of water so mine are going nuts. Oh, weird. Yeah, mine are popping in my throat, but it's not painful. Like remember Pop Rocks when you were a kid, like it hurt, but they were fun. Right.

These aren't painful. No, they're not painful. I didn't think they hurt that bad. I mean, they hurt really bad. But these are more like a gentle tingle. They're a little, they're very, very mild. All right. Uh, that'll do for this episode of Double is Double.

Aaron Whitehead, thank you so much for joining us. Aaron, you're the best. The best. Guys, thanks for having me. Oh, my spit cup. That's all right. It was empty. Aaron, along with the, along with the Baja Fresh gift card,

you get to take the spit cup and the Oreo fireworks. My God, you guys. Sorry, Nick. Be free to distribute those to whoever you like. Yeah. That's okay, right? Yeah, of course. I'm easily giving you garbage to take out with you at girl with

a tail on Twitter. Anything you would like to plug? Uh, wild horses for Saturday every month at ECB and sometimes at Largo. Hell yeah. Check them out. They're like Nick said, they're the funniest improv. I'll admit crud is not.

I almost said after scum. I forgot it was crud. Scum. Scum. Scum. Because crud and scum to me are very similar things. Right. No, no.

Scum improv. Scum improv group. No, crud is like, crud is like a bunch of like crap. Yeah. Same with scum. Like a pile of scum. No, scum is like, scum is more, there is a difference between crud and scum.

I'm just saying not much of what. There is. Scum is, scum is like liquid liquid. Right. Like it's like a scum is like snotty, liquidy, like a mucusy. Yeah. Crud is like, that's a bunch of crud, like a pile of crud. Like stuff on your shoe.

It's more like dirt versus mud, I feel like. Yeah. A huge difference. Scum. Scum isn't, scum isn't mud. Yeah. But I mean, just like in terms of texture and consistency. But crud isn't scum.

I'm not saying they are the same. I'm saying you can see where my mind was like, oh, those are similar things. Yeah. And there are four letter words that make, that mean like a congealed substance of which we don't really know what it's comprised of. Nick, you won the Dr Pepper tasting challenge. Oh yeah. But you know what?

I'm still giving the Baja Fresh gift card to Aaron. Fuck. All right, whatever. It's going to be for four cents. All right. On that note, I'm going to take us out on a little moment of meow. Wally. There we go.

Irma. I've lost my voice. You got to talk for me, kiddies. Yes. Yes. That's right. Yes, my babies, you've learned. Speak, my children.

Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.