Doughboys - Doughboys Double - Dream Mitchy

Episode Date: January 4, 2018

Free preview of Doughboys Double! In this 2017 episode, Mitch and Wiger go guestless to taste test an authentic Chicago pie from Pizano’s. Wiger debriefs Spoonman on his playthrough as “Mitch” in the dating simulation game Dream Daddy. Join the Golden Plate Club at patreon.com/doughboysWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a free preview of Doe Boys Double, our weekly bonus episode available to subscribers at Patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Welcome to Doe Boys Double, I'm Nick Weiger alongside the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Mitch, this is the third one we're recording in a row. Running on fumes is how I describe myself. Running on pubes. Running just on pubes. Running on fumes. I think I may go a little bit. I was trying to say fumes, but the M had a little bit of a B sound because it got a little nasally. Running on empty. Running on empty. A song you, us favorite song of yours. A song I listen to on my birthday every year. I found that out about you and I thought that was really weird and then I told other people and they were like, yeah, that's weird. But you just like, you listen to running on empty by yourself. You heard that about me. You thought it was weird. You told me. You told me that. I thought it was weird. And then I told other people I was like, did you know every year on his birthday, Mitch like locks himself in his room and like turns on running on empty. I don't lock myself in my room. All right. Well, you're alone when you do that. You like, you find an isolate. You find a moment alone and then you just listen to it and sort of contemplate. I reflect my own little moment of meow. Listen, but that's something that has some meaning to you, right? Like that kind of gives you that you just sort of thinking about the past, the future. Why running on empty? Do you just like the song? Yeah, I like the song. It's a nice reflection song. It's a nice song. Right. And I know you're going to be tattling all over the schoolyard.

What should I not have? Oh, you mean telling friends, not telling everyone on the podcast. They think it's weird. Name names. Who thinks it's weird? I think I told Eva and she said it was kind of weird. I like Eva. Too bad, Eva. Eva, you're wrong. Yeah, I mean, she's not wrong. It is weird. What's a song? I'm trying to think of like songs like that for me. I guess, I guess wish you were here. Pink Floyd. That kind of gives it sort of that melancholy song. I'm sort of like, yeah, this song, sort of, yeah. Of course, wish you were here. Wish you were here was great. Don't you listen to the Mac startup noise for your birthday every year? Just just puts me in the zone for that 365 days. No, I like actual music. I know you like music. I have this reputation as a man. I've said I disclosed in the podcast that I like to drive without any sort of soundtrack that sometimes I just I'm the opposite of baby driver.

I drive with no music. You're the anti baby driver. I'm the adult driver. And so I I'm driving. But but like I'll use that just to think the same way that you'll reflect on your life via running on empty. A little Jackson Brown is Jackson Brown, right? Yes, a little Jackson Brown. You reflect on your life every day. Every drive. But sometimes I'll listen to an audiobook or a podcast. It just depends on my mood. I got you. It's just you and me today. No guest. No guest. We figured, hey, we're tired. Let's not throw. We're not energy on to someone else. This is the laziest thing we could do. Instead of getting another guest in here to make us more energetic, right, we'll just quietly fall asleep. We'll just give our paid audience a very sluggish, depressing podcast. How many people do you think are going to fall asleep while driving their cars? Listen to the podcast.

Seven. And I would say I would say four will get into fatal accidents. Oh my God, that's a high percentage. That really is. Be careful of those who fell asleep. Jesus. Turn this off and put on some high energy jazz. I agree with. Yeah. Put on some Glenn Miller big band. A little sing, sing, sing. Either put on jazz or put on a put on a what's the what's the movie that's the La La Land. Oh, yeah. Put on put on put on La La Land. That's all about jazz. I mean, that's also jazz. But you're saying put on the movie. Yeah. What's the director's name? Damien Chazelle. Chazelle. He's all about jazz. He's a big jazz guy. Whiplash. La La Land. Do you like whiplash? I like whiplash. I like whiplash more than La La Land. I thought whiplash is just OK. And then I thought La La Land was not even just OK. Hmm. I don't know.

I like I like the I didn't hate the J.K. Simmons performance was so good. It just really carry the movie for me. And I like the way the drumming was shot. I thought that I thought the way that movie was filmed was really cool. J.K. Simmons great. He plays a great J. Jonah Jamison. Oh, man. The best J. Jonah Jamison. The definitive J. Jonah Jamison. He should be in every one of them. I wish they'd bring him back. Like, remember how they had the same Alfred for like six Batman's? Oh, yeah. He was a great Alfred. He was a great Alfred. They should just do the same thing with J. Jonah Jamison. I agree. Yeah. J.K. Simmons is great. We I used to think that the Mr. Krueger in Seinfeld was J.K. Simmons. It's actually a different actor who doesn't even look all that similar. He's just also bald. Yeah. But I was like I thought that for a long time. A little bit baldest you are. You think I see all bald men the same. That sounds like it. Also, yeah.

Don't you think it for for J.K. Simmons that it must have been annoying once like J.K. became a thing? Right. When people were just saying J.K. as in just kidding. Yeah. I feel like that sucks. Like, like, like, oh, this didn't used to like I didn't used to have this issue with my name. Yeah. Now when I write J.K., people don't trust it's my signature. They think that they've been pranked. Yeah. They think J.K. Simmons. Like he's saying like just kidding. Simmons. So he'll sign a contract. Right. Just kidding. Don't think that he doesn't want to sign it. Right. But then they have Simmons there and it's just like, wow, you've not you've like definitively legally not agreed to this contract with your surname. Yeah. You know, it's the same problem. J.K. Rowling. Oh my God. Boy, them J.K.s need to get some different initials. If you're a J.K. out there, hey, Mike, one of my best friends growing up, Justin, Justin Kiley, and still one of my best friends.

What are we talking about? Justin Kiley. J.K. is those are his initials. J.K. Does he go by J.K.? No. Well, then that's not really the same situation. Still, you know, what does he go by Kiley? I always call them Justin. I think people call him Kiley. Yeah. Hmm. I feel like he needs a better like Quincy appropriate nickname. Hmm. They call them Stanger at some point. They called him Stanger? Yeah. Like Ryan Stanger or Friend for the Dumbbells. Yeah, kind of. They called him Stanger. Yeah. What was the kid? Why would they call him Stanger?

I forget it now and coach. They call them coach a lot. Coach. I get it. Coach sounds like a nickname. Stanger is just like a man's name. That's like my nickname being Ryan. I think it was more like Stanger. Like, I don't know. Like you Stanger. Like he's like, like it's a Stinger. Like he puts a little stank on it. No, neither of those. I don't know. Now I'm not going to know. I feel bad. Sorry, Justin. Sorry for bringing you up. I mean, he's not going to listen to this. No, he does. He listens to the show.

Wow. Does he really? And you know what? Wu Tang listens to the show too. Hi, Kiley. Hi, Wu Tang. Wu Tang, a fixture of my Facebook wall. Very entertaining. You know what? Because Wu Tang took it down a notch, which I love. Oh, yeah. Wu Tang will roast you. He'll roast you good. He sent you a thing about how the mayor in Boston was basically saying that the rallies, there's, because there's going to be, well, this is now dated. Yeah. But there are going to be rallies. Well, I think there will still be a problem with white nationalism in America for some time.

That's not going to go away in two weeks. I don't know if it will be solved by the time this comes out. Unless Nick and I go out there and solve it. Possibility. We should get on the case. What, you know what? You're, you would be a great way in because you look like their leader. Oh, man. Oh, boy. Um, he posted a thing on your wall that was that was basically the mayor condemning, right? Wasn't it was the mayor? Yeah. Mayor of Boston, strong, like, and very Boston, but strong, like strong language condemning the white nationalist rallies.

And he was like, he's like, see, Boston's not all bad. I was like, oh, that's a fun way to tackle. I mean, a very serious issue. But that was a fun, like Boston has a reputation for a racist past. And that was a funny way to handle that. So everywhere. Why? Yes, everywhere does LA does California does the state does a very. Did you know this? I learned this from our buddy Hayes Davenport. LA because LA actually had a Confederate monument, which has gone down in the time that since we've recorded this. But, um, but Hayes told me that LA, the LA area, Southern California was pro Confederacy

because Southern California and Northern California have always had a rivalry. And there was a point where Southern California thought their best chance for statehood, as an independent from Northern California, where all the political power was, was to join the Confederacy if they succeeded, which is crazy to think about. But that just like LA, that, you know, liberal LA would be just like a one point of bastion for the Confederacy. Wow. And, and yeah, I mean, you definitely see like strong strains of conservatism of obviously we go south in the 405 and the five and you go to Orange County and San Diego County. There's, there's a lot of, and certainly if you go inland, there's big portions of California are red.

They're great, great grandparents or something. You think so? I mean, yeah, there would be. There could be. Yeah, there would be descendants of confederate sympathizers absolutely living in the Southland. For all, all of you who are around Confederate statues that have been pulled down, put up a Doughboy statue in its place. Boy, what better way to say that we're breaking with our nation's problematic past than to take down a statue of Robert E. Lee and put up a standard, a statue of Mike Mitchell.

And Nick, I'll be holding you like a prom photo. It will make the world a happier place. Hey, you know, speaking of making the world a happier place, a Chicago pizzeria did a solid. Now this is a place that you've mentioned on the podcast before, Mitch. I did. I accidentally, I didn't, I didn't pronounce it correctly. Right. What do you call it? I think I said Pizanos.

That's a reasonable mispronunciation. No, Pizanos. Hey, you know what Pizanos, if you want it to be Pizanos, right? Put the I, the E in there. P-I-E Zonos. Relax, they were nice to us. You guys are nice. I'm just saying that could be a little bit more clear.

Mike and Nick, AKA Doughboys. Thanks for the kind words recently on the podcast. And on a personal level, thanks for doing what you do week in and week out. Boy, we're not like just serving it. We're serving the armed forces. Just two assholes going to one guy's apartment to record a podcast for 90 minutes. But thank you. An additional offer.

If you two do make it to Chicago, John Porter of Chicago Pizza Tours of Myself would like to take you on a tour of Chicago. Wow. Not just pizza. Load up a cooler and take the both of you in a crew to three pizza places, three Italian beef joints, and three barbecue restaurants. We love to show Weigher what Chicago food really is. Hey, that sounds like a hoot.

Cheers. Chris Spitzer. Chris. So Chris, Chris reached out to me. By the way, that tour sounds great, but it sounds great. I hope we probably need to add more food places. Yeah. I think we need a few more restaurants.

I also want to see Chicago's famous 20 foot statue of Luke Longley. They're great. They're great from their championship air. They're great center. Okay. You want to see the bean, the big bean? Yeah. I want to see the bean.

You want to eat the big silver bean? Let's go to my belly. Many have tried and many have failed to eat the bean. So Chris, or I think it was Chris who reached out to me. And if not, I apologize. I'll give you a shout out later on. He said, hey, thanks for saying, he told me how to pronounce it correctly. He said, what are some of your favorite types of pies?

And maybe we're still saying it wrong. Who knows? And I said, hey, I like cheese. Hey, I like pepperoni. And I like sausage. Can't go wrong with any of those. So they sent us in a big cool filled with today. It came literally today.

We were recording another episode and it arrived during the, you know what? You heard it. The pieces are, this is the Kaiser Sausage moment. Right. Where the box that was delivered, it was from Paisanos. It was a box with about five pizzas in it. And they got, we got thin crust cheese, a thin crust sausage, and then a thin crust special and a few deep dishes, cheese, pepperoni,

and I think maybe a sausage. Hey, you know, speaking of the Kaiser Sausage element, I'm just turning this prescription supplement bottle around. It says chankton on it. Chankton's been a lie all along. You just invented it from looking at objects in your environment. That's right. I take 40 milligrams of chankton every day.

It's good for your knees. Chankton is good for your knees. It all unravels. That's right. If you can see all the things on this table. That Dave Matthews one is my love of Dave Matthews. I don't love Dave Matthews. You got a Star Wars pop figure which informs all your Star Wars references.

It explains your obsession with Uncar Plut. There's a little toy of Wally. And Wally the cat doesn't even exist. Yeah, absolutely. Irma's real though. You have this elaborate lie where you have two cats instead of one. They are both real and I love them both. So basically Pizanos.

I'm grabbing the box. Yeah, so they shipped us these pizzas packed in dry ice. It came in this container and arrived during our episode we record with Mookie Blake Locke, which as you're listening to this, it will be the previous episode that came out in the Doe Boys double. I mean like it was kind of amazing to see you open that up and just to see those sort of that Halloween dry ice steam start rising from it. You pulled out a Theerman and you started playing it like crazy.

Right. There was a steam kind of out of the box and we should pour some water on that later. Yeah. See what happens. And then the crypt keeper poked his head in. Those are pies to die for. Right. What?

What are you talking about? Hmm, I'd like to give you a different kind of slice. Like Jesus Christ, calm down. What's your problem? Do you guys want to watch like a baseball game or something with me? You just want to hang out crypt keeper? I mean, I guess you can you can hang out. We're recording the podcast, but it's kind of weird.

He's just lonely. Yeah. You and I gave up. We didn't even want to do the crypt keeper that much longer. Well, I mean, where do we go from here? The whole episode. Yeah. Let's keep this up.

I mean, everyone, everyone's turned off the podcast at this point. People know the crypt keeper, right? Yeah. He almost came back. Did he really? He almost gave an M night Shyamalan almost produced a new tales from the crypt. But would it have been like the campy pun heavy version or would it have been like the serious dark crypt?

I think it would have been the new cool crypt keeper. I don't know how I feel about that. I want the crypt keeper who's like always cracking wise. Yeah. That's I mean the fun. Yeah. The funny fun and crypt keeper is funnier to me is cooler to me than a darker, scarier crypt keeper.

That sort of tone that's sort of like intentionally campy, you know, horror. The way the way it's lit and the way the production design is has like a little bit of color to it. It's not just like this dark muted palette and these, you know, all these heavy shadows that you see in a lot of a lot of horror. It's just a little bit more like almost comic bookie. I don't know. That's not quite the right word.

And then like your creep shows or creep shows. Yeah. And then it's kind of got like that light comic tone, but it's still horror. I really like that. And it doesn't feel like there's as much of that anymore. Well, I think those movies like creep show did a good job of like being like kind of like goofy, but also kind of scary too at the same time. I haven't revisited them, but they it's a it's Stephen King and it's a and Ramirez.

All right. Yes. There's a few people involved with them. But there you go. I would like maybe one day Crip Keeper will return. I hope so. I hope we haven't seen the last of them. Hey, if you keep getting thinner, you could probably audition for them.

Oh boy. So the history of Pizzano's, Pizzano's thin crust pizza. I won't. I don't read all of this because it's long. But Rudy Malnati Jr. and Donna Mama Malnati. Now, Lou Malnati's is a is a famous pizza place in Chicago. And right off the bat, it says my father, Rudy Malnati senior opened his first restaurant, Pizzeria Uno in 1943.

I've heard of Pizzeria Uno. Yeah. Of course you've heard of Pizzeria Uno. What the fuck? You knew a food podcast. I'm just saying that that's like, oh, that's like a well known place. That's all I was trying to say. Well, located in Chicago, he featured deep dish pizza.

So this is basically the man who created deep dish pizza. Right. And so his son opened Pizzano's in 1991. And his legacy is their foundation, it says. And so when I went on that pizza tour the first time, we went to about five different places, including Geno's, is it Geno's East, right? I don't know. And I'm almost sure of it.

And that was like one of the old classic ones. But Pizzano's was one of my favorites. So they were nice enough to ship us a bunch of pizzas. Yu Song was busy in the kitchen while we were recording other podcasts making this pizza. Right. He's a Cornell graduate, very talented, very smart man. Probably should be doing something better with his time than cooking pizzas in your kitchen. But at the same time, he said he didn't have much experience baking stuff.

Yu Song, what the hell was that all about? Right. He said, sorry, I don't have much experience baking. And we're like, when we hired you, you showed up to the interview wearing a chef's hat. You had master baker on your resume. Yeah, well, you didn't have to lie about that stuff. And then you were like, yeah, that was the type was actually master baker. Like Yu Song.

You like to fucking crank your hog. You get laid. What the hell? Why are you bragging? That's not cool. I'm right there with Yu Song, don't worry. So this guy, he told his mother that he wanted to create a thin crust pizza to compliment his father's famous deep dish pizza. Look, this is not an advertisement.

Nick, I told you that you could rate this as harshly as you wanted to. Yeah, this isn't branded content. Even though- Even though- Even though I really do want to go on this food tour in Chicago. Right. Don't fuck this up for me. Anyways, we cooked up one of their special pies, a Rudy.

And this was a thin crust. This is a thin crust. It came with sauce. So on top of it is sausage, mushroom, onion, and green pepper. And then we also, we cooked up a deep dish. And that was a pep- Oh, shit. I hit the box, the mic with the box.

That's all right. So we cooked up a pepperoni deep dish pizza. This has a different history on the back. It's Rudy Malnati Sr. It's like book length. There's a lot of detail on that. There's a lot of stuff on here. That's why I didn't read it, though.

I do feel like it's interesting stuff. Give me the sparks notes for that box. Here, you can take a look at it. Anyways, Yu-Sung did a great job. The kitchen almost went into flames. It was crazy in there. It's really hard, I think, to cook these pizzas no matter what. Here's my trick with cooking pizzas.

I'm just going to say this at the top. I think with the thin crust, we maybe pulled it out a little early because I think the center was a little bit doughy. Yeah. And I was worried about that. I think that, because the edges were brown and Nick, you were like, we better pull it out.

I said, I think we can leave it in a few more minutes. He said, no, that's how we pulled it out. Oh, and by the way, they gave us a really cool spatula. Oh, yeah, they did. They gave you a Paizano spatula. This sounds like paid advertisers. It does. It sounds like branded content.

But it's not. It's not branded content. Listen, anyways, it was, and that was cool because the ice was shining off. Anyway, it could have been cooked a little longer just because the middle. Here's my trick with cooking pizzas. Because these things are hard to cook no matter what.

Not saying just these, but every one of them. I think you get away to the center is cheese is brown, like the outside edge. So you get a crispier outer edge. But then once the center, then you know that that's crisp. So we kept the deep dish in a little longer because we were nervous and I thought that was perfect. I agree with you.

The way the deep dish was cooked, it came out a little bit better. I think a little bit closer to what the real thing is. That's what I would say would just be my prefix to this is it's impossible to recreate what you get in the pizzeria with a conventional oven with a product that's been frozen and shipped across the country. But here's what I'm going to say.

I think we got pretty damn close. I agree with you. That's where I was leading. It's impossible to fully match it, but this is a very, and again, never having been there, this made me really want to try the real thing because it was like, this is so,

this is so like, I could tell what the, I could tell the potential of this pie and also I enjoyed it on its own merits. I mean, this is head and shoulders above any frozen pizza you'd buy in a supermarket. It's got like caramelized, like the crust on the edge is so good. It's so damn good.

The density of the dough on the thick crust and the deep dish, which I really like. I really like a deep dish pizza. I mean, like, you know, if you make me pick, I would say if I can only have one pizza for life, I'll probably pick a thin crust, but I really do enjoy the deep dish on its own merits. And this is like a real,

had a really good consistency to that, to that dough. It matched, it was up there with some of the better deep dishes I've had. Coming straight out of Palmerston too. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Let's break them down. Cause we got the deep dish pepperoni.

So you, you, you enjoy that better. I liked it quite a bit. I mean, yes, I think I liked that more, but I think also it was kind of, it was cooked a little bit better and that's no one's fault. That's just how they turned out. You saw it.

These things are hard to, okay. We're talking to you, songs bay. You're just smiling angrily. He's doing, because he did a such a huge favor. Come on over, cause we'll hear your thoughts too. Um, but yeah, so, so yes, but I would say like that one was like, maybe cooked a little bit better.

And then also, but also I was primed to like it more because I just, I'm like, oh, Chicago deep dish. Like to me, that's a connection I make. I think thin crust was very good, but I think that that did a really, really good job of representing, you know, what you would get in the real restaurant, I assume. I loved the thin crust too.

Yeah. Thin crust was very good. And I'm not, I'm not usually a big fan of like, pizzas with a lot of toppings on them, like multiple toppings. Right. And, but this, they did, they did a great job. I feel like, especially when you got to the outer edges

where it was, where it was just really crispy. Yeah. I always feel like it's hard with, with, with like, like when you get, cause this had peppers and sausage and mushrooms on there. Right. When, especially like in the center, it's, it's so hard to cook it just right.

And, and, and this is my failure. You sang, I wasn't your football. You sang, how did you feel? Did you enjoy the pizzas? I thought the deep dish was really, really great. Like I, I think that might have been the first deep dish pizza I've ever had, to be honest, but I really enjoyed that.

It was just like really satisfying. And I feel really full from just eating one slice, which I thought. Right. Yeah. It was really good. Yeah. I don't know if it was just like,

maybe it wasn't cooked enough, but I also thought it was okay. Like it wasn't. I thought, I still thought it was very good. Those crispy edge. We didn't, we didn't, we didn't do it at service by cooking it. The way this,

this thin crust is like the, the cheese and toppings kind of go almost all the way to the edge. There isn't that much like just bare crust there. And I feel like the, the crispy bites I was getting of, and that's just anything you're going to cook in a conventional oven is going to be more likely to be cooked

on the, the outsides than the insides. But the, but the, the, the bites that I had towards the end of the, of that crust part, you know, kind of where that V meets,

I thought were really, really good bites. And I really like kind of like the, the almost burned crust and then the, the toppings, the way they converge for that crispiness. So yeah, I think they were both good representations of the various

styles. That's what, that's what I, when I went on the Chicago pizza tour with my mom and dad back in the day and sister, uh, uh, everyone was really scared too that the Mitchell's were

going to have pizza. Right. A lot of pizza places like they shuttered their windows and closed for business. And I feel like it was a, I mean, I should just make this joke about myself. It's on my mom, dad,

and sister. It's about, this is about me. Um, anyway, um, uh, the thin crust, yeah,

when I, when I got to the outer edges of it, uh, we were so close to, to cooking it right. Like we were like five minutes off on the thin crust. But, uh,

so you still got the taste of, of, of what it should have been. But, but, uh, we have what I had back in Chicago. I had a cheese,

pizza, just a plain cheese version of it. Yeah. But it was, it was very, it was, it was very, very good for,

for, for pizzas that are, that are like frozen pizzas. Yes. How come, how come frozen pizza can't taste that? I mean, it's,

it's fun. I mean, I guess this is kind of just like these were specialty made. Right. Packaged and sent. Yeah. I think that's the thing because it's like, you know,

these are shipped in dry ice. They aren't, they're shipped in freezer for months at a time. You know what I mean? Like I don't think these would be, these would have the same. They really, I think have to load those up with a lot of chemicals and

preservatives and engineer the dough and toppings and everything differently and flash freeze them. I think they have to do a lot of food science to get those to the point where they'll last for long enough for someone to buy them in a supermarket and keep them in their freezer at home and then cook them up a month later. So that would be my guess. But I,

you know, it does kind of, to me, it does kind of like leave the, I feel like maybe the window is open for, and I'm sure they have some of these, but it feels like there is kind of a gap in the market for the,

the more gourmet frozen pizza. And I'm not talking like that California pizza kitchen one, which is like a more upscale version, but still not like, I mean, like a really nice pizza they could have it in the supermarket or in the, in the fridge, the refrigerated section.

California pizza kitchen is such a sad story to me, how it played out in a lot of ways. I still like CPK and I still eat at CPK and I will still defend it. But you, you don't like the frozen foods or you don't like the restaurant either. I mean, come on,

what Paisano is what we had today is infinitely better than even like when I go to the restaurant. Yeah. As pizza. Yes. That's fine. I think it's an all around restaurant. I think CPK has some things to offer.

Are you saying we've been to CPK? I haven't been yet. Okay. We'll take it. My only experience is cooking in a microwave with Susser for the last Olympics. Oh right. Jesus Christ.

What a sad memory. God, we're bringing the Olympics for the second double in a row. We should, we should, um, uh, what's,

what's the movie with Jim Carrey and where, where, uh, he, he tries to erase his girlfriend and, and, and she tries to erase him. Uh, eternal sunshine.

We should, we should, we should eternal sunshine you song so he doesn't remember the podcast. They just forget every memory of the podcast, including me when I came and talked to Cornell. Oh, that's great.

That memory is also erased. Every memory has to be erased. Uh, who is that? She's great. My brain, yeah, we've done three now.

Kate Winslet, she's great. I got to revisit that one. I haven't watched it in a long time. It's a good movie. Um, it's just, this is so much better.

I think, I feel like maybe California Pizza Kitchen's quality has dropped too, but that's what I kind of initially hoped with them when I first, yeah, when they get into the frozen, because this is, I mean,

we might as well talk frozen pie. We talked a little bit about it before. Yeah, we talked with our buddy Carl. But the, but the, the, the part of the video that I was talking about,

that's what I had in mind, I would say, I'm not going to talk too deep into it because like, you talked about how you love Tony's right? Like a cheap Tony's pizza. But like, is there any like, what is what is,

and I, and I like red Baron. I'm a red, I'm a red Baron guy. Yeah. I feel like that comes closest. But then like this blows that away. Obviously.

Yes. So, but is a different thing. It is a different thing, but how do we, how do you make that happen? I guess is the question. I don't know if it's possible.

I kind of wonder if the direction that food is headed, if we're more likely to see maybe, you know, a grocery store that's got a more artisan thing, that maybe they make that in-house and then you just buy that, like that, like this was made this, this morning,

we rolled the dough out and we, you know, we put the toppings and sauce on this and then you can take this home and bake it in your, your oven tonight. You know, I mean, I wonder if we're likely to see some fresh thing like that

versus some sort of very elaborately concocted frozen version. You know, when I was a kid, I think we may be talked about this, but I remember reading kid cuisine. Oh yeah. I'm a kid cuisine guy. Do you song you ever kid cuisine?

Yeah. Yeah. I saw, I feel like I saw it recently. It was like, wow, it's still going. The kid cuisine is still going. And that, like there's so many products like that where I'm like,

it's still going. It's, it's, it's like, and I like Mama Celeste and I like Elio's pizza. I just, I mean, like,

I guess that is just like the kid market, right? I think Mama Celeste is, is for all ages. Yeah. I think that's specifically for kids. But that the old Italian woman isn't marketed specifically towards kids. No,

no, everyone can enjoy Mama Celeste and her wares. But yeah, no kid cuisine was specifically just such a funny one of like, oh, it's still around the, the dessert and the entree you heat up at the same time. Yeah.

And the DiGiorno, the DiGiorno cookies pie they had for a while. You had that. Did they really? You would come with the, do you remember this at all? I saw it and we never got it. I was so sad.

Yeah. It would come with a pizza and then you would bake them up and you would, and you would have like fresh cookies at the same time you'd have your hot pizza. But you know, what you could also do, and I've seen people do this online is you could just throw those

cookies on top of that pizza and have yourself a That's fucking disgusting wager. Yeah, I agree. It sounds that, but I bet it would also be very good in a gross way. It just sounds like you've done this. Like, I think that might be good.

I don't know. Look, where I mean, I've seen it online is on my Facebook. All right. Let's, let's, why not give a ranking to these pizzas out of five,

10 or five? Let's do, let's do five out of five big silver beans. Okay. Out of five big silver beans. And here's how I'm going to rate it. I'm going to rate it out of how much this is going to make me want to go to the real paisanos.

Again, this sounds so much like branded content, but it's not branded content that don't boys can't be bought. This is just us filling a half hour. Look, we got pizza shipped to us. We're excited. This is a fucking food podcast.

We're excited to eat the pizza that we can stop yelling at no one. I'm just always excited about it. I feel like I don't know. We get too defensive. Guys, who's going to pick up those paisanos checks from off the table? Oh, sorry.

Sorry. Toss you in that fucking oven yourself. Oh boy. It is Trump's America. Maybe not the best thing to say. I would say I would, I would, I'm going to get this four and a half big silver beans because I think it

exceeded my expectations. And this is like, Oh wow, I think if I really wanted to Chicago pie, but I'm not in the windy city, this would absolutely scratch that edge. And it did very much. What makes me want to go get the real thing?

What do you think of your song for silver beans? I also really want to go if I'm, if I ever go to Chicago or definitely check up paisanos. Well, there you go. I get five silver beans. Wow. Wow. I think we can be bought even though we weren't bought.

I think you, you probably can get these on. I don't know what the deal is with them. I don't know either. I didn't, I didn't look. I mean, the box looks like it's meant for shipping. So I mean, paisanoshicago.com is the URL on it.

I don't know. Maybe check that out. Maybe that'll tell you how to get it. And if you live in the Chicago area, maybe try this place if you haven't already. Good shit. Yeah. Very good shit.

Also too, like, you know, we talk about the two boys can't be bought. I always remember reading things like about how cheap it is for, for like a Fortune 500 company to like buy a US Senator. It's like, it's like, you know, like, oh yeah, $40,000 in campaign donations. What? And that's like, it's like,

it's not very much money. It's like a drop in the bucket for like a company that does billions of dollars of business. It's so much, such a small amount of money for like to get a rural Senator to be something in your back pocket. And like, but then it makes me think of like how easy it would be for

like, you could just send us four pizzas. Yeah. Maybe we were just bought. Right. We didn't realize that. We're so dumb that we didn't realize we were bought. Hey, free pizza.

Hey, this is good. Well, thank you to Paizanos. Thank you Paizanos. You sang. Thank you so much. Thanks buddy. Yeah. Great job.

Great chef. You sang. You did a great job. Thanks guys. Politicians get bought that easy. Oh yeah. This DC is a sewer, man. You know what?

I can't think of any other statement to say, but drain the swamp. Mitch, I agree with you. Someone should drain that swamp. And I can't think of a better way to put that. Also, what a weird thing to land on drain the swamp. I tell you, we're talking about it, huh? I guess you're right.

But I'm just saying like when do people drain swamps a lot? I don't know. I probably at some point a swamp was drained and like this. It seems bad. It seems like gators would die. Well, yeah. But I think you want gators to die, right? Aren't they the.

I don't want a gator to die. Why? You're so anti-shark. You're pro-gator. Yeah. Why not? Why do you defend gators and stand against sharks? Because I don't know.

I feel like you don't hear about gators attacking as much. I know there was a very sad story in Disney where. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if there were more fatal gator attacks worldwide than there were shark attacks. But if a gator came at me, I knew what I got. I would at least have a chance to wrestle this thing and first beast.

Yeah. Pull the bayou billy on it. I think you take it down. I feel like I could at least, you know, if maybe not beat it, but at least become friends with it. Right. With a shark. I don't know how friendly a shark just seems dead in the eyes.

I don't know. I don't know how. I don't know if it wants to be friends with me, but with a gator, I feel like we would wrestle around and maybe at the end of it, we would be buds. Didn't Willie. Who did he wrestle? He wrestled a wolf. A wolf.

That's right. And then he drinks a. He shares whiskey with him. Yeah. A lot of fun. We're broken brains where we just think of Simpson's fucking idiots. One a day for me. All right, Mitch, I have a little something for you now.

We were talking pizza, but this is a very different topic. Yep. There's a game that came out recently called dream daddy. This has become something of a cult favorite. And this is a dad dating simulator developed by Game Grumps and just sort of set the mood here. I'm going to go ahead and play the theme music. All right.

My girl, what the fuck is wrong with you? All right. Great. So that music, that lovely tune, greets you at the title screen when you when you boot up the game developed by Game Grumps. It's a little bit tongue in tongue and cheek, but I think it's pretty. It's actually like the way it is the way it handles gay dating. It's done in a very respectful way.

It's done. I don't feel like it's done in a way that it's like making fun of anything. It's just sort of it's done in the sort of how does this like comic tone? But the joke isn't it's it's gay day. It's a gay day. You're dating. It's it's a it's your character is a male and you have other males that you can choose to date from.

And they're all dads. You're a dad and they're all dads. And but it's presented as this kind of light comedic tone. But the joke isn't like ha ha. These are gay guys. The joke is that it's just sort of like kind of this this this sort of internet sense of humor around around it. So why am I not surprised that you have played this?

You're a strange man. Hey, you know, I'm into all sorts of different gaming experiences. I actually like the the the dating genre offensive. It was great. Yeah. And I like the I like the I also like kind of this this because Telltale Games has these kind of games where they're kind of like these these basically playable novels where you're just pretty much just choosing from different dialogue options.

There isn't a lot of like actual challenge in terms of the gameplay. There's just a bunch of different choices you can make. And it's fun to navigate that, especially someone who doesn't have a lot of time to game and can just sort of like, you know, play through a story and see what happens. So as part of this, you create your own dad. And of course, I created you, Mitch Jesus Christ, I had to name you Mitch Mitchell. Because if otherwise your name would appear as Mike in the game, which I know you go by, but I think you're more of the Mitch.

So you can see a little picture of your avatar here. It was tough to get you exactly right. It's pretty close. I think it's pretty good. I think I got the eyes pretty well. And it's got a good beard here. It was hard to get your haircut just right. The toughest thing was actually your apparel, because there aren't a lot of, there weren't

a lot of clothing options. When you say things like, I think you got your eyes pretty white, right. Just say what you mean by that. I gave you very small eyes. The character has very small, squinty eyes. You have narrow eyes. It's fine. But the hardest thing was actually your...

Hold on a second. The whole book, like the children want their dad to go fuck? Yeah. Your dad, your daughter, Amanda. She's 17, going on 18. She's about to go to college. She, you are widowed, so you're looking for love. I thought we'd get to name your widowed spouse, and I wanted to name her Irma, but unfortunately

that wasn't an option. It's just named Alex by default, which is fine. Hold on a second. Yeah. So you were bisexual. You can choose. Yeah. You can choose whether your spouse was a man or a woman, and you can choose whether your

child was born or adopted. And so it's just totally up to you. And so I was trying to give you an ex-wife named Irma, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. But so... But Amanda wants you to be happy. Wait. Why not?

Why didn't it work out? I couldn't name her. I couldn't name the character. It's just named Alex by default. It's just sort of a gender-neutral name. But Amanda wants you to be happy. The apparel was tough to do. I gave you a shirt with a burger on it, but it's got this pink color that I don't think

you would wear. I feel like... So I'm also in the burger brigade in this world. Yeah. Well, you... Last week, people were upset about it. I don't know if they were upset. I mean, some people were upset.

I think a lot of people were just genuinely surprised. Yeah, I guess that's... I thought it was a great moment. I felt genuinely moved by it. I think that we should show that photo to the neo-Nazis. They're all going to show up wearing shirts with Lincoln on them. So okay, so... So I got a burger shirt on.

Yeah, you got a burger shirt. And so a lot of the game is about your daughter, Amanda. What the fuck is wrong with you? Anyways, go on. So the thing is, you go around the town and you meet all the different dads. And... I can see a thing right now that says dad book, which looks like Facebook. The interface is through this thing called dad book.

And so the various dads are Craig. Now, Craig, AKA... Craig... Keg stand Craig. He's your old friend from school. And I immediately thought of a Boston guy, especially because he's got a dumb nickname. Actually, I thought about that, you know, one, one, maybe the alt for the Game Grumps guys could have just called him Craig stand.

I feel like that would have worked as well as Craig stand. Okay. I think they went the right direction. You like you like Keg stand. Craig stand. But people would be like, what does that mean? I feel like they maybe wouldn't get what it means. Keg stand.

Craig stand. I think you get it. I think you get it if you deliver it in the right way. So the way that you would let them know is having a character say Keg stand, Craig stand. You'd be like, Craig stand because he was always doing Kegs. Oh, God. He's always doing Keg stands.

Look, have you ever been to a party before? I've been to a few parties in my day. Let me guess. You got to the Keg. You pumped it and poured for everyone at the party and just stand there the whole night. I took people's keys to make sure they got home responsibly and I put them in a bowl and mixed them up. We saw who was going to go home with who.

All right. So you joined dad book. So there's Craig. He's your friend from school. There's Matt. He owns a hipster coffee shop. I like him so far. He's the front runner.

Yeah. Matt is Matt is very cool. Are these guys you're looking to hook up with or what's the deal you get? You're looking to be friend or hook up with it's really up to you. There's Brian who's the beefiest of the dads and he is a he's also a single single father and he is very competitive. There's Robert who's like the the rake of the group. What you'd say in Jane Austen parlance.

The guy who's kind of got this like the bad boy. Okay. And he's the goth. There's Hugo. Damien is definitely he looks like an elf. He really does. He does kind of have that elfin appearance to him. And then there's Hugo who is a teacher at your kid's school and then there's Joseph

who's a youth pastor and he's married. So that's a little bit of a problematic date. Is he married to a man or a woman? He's married to a woman. He's married to Mary. Joseph and Mary. Very borderline sacrilegious. Sacrilegious thing.

Yes. That seems like that's very intentional. Also a funny thing about Joseph Pink. He's the character. Maybe he's just in the photo. Well, yeah. But he is. He does wear his wardrobe is very, very pink.

Okay. Very pink guy. All right. So it's hard. It was hard to role play as you specifically because, you know, your dad, your prefab dad already has a very strong character to him. He's kind of like this aserbic kind of, you know, irony guy. But you know, I tried at every opportunity to make sure that you you if the choice was

you could go to bed, I would take it or take a nap. I would do it. Or if the choice was to eat, I would have you eat. So you trying to replicate your your character as much as possible. Your first date was with Matt, who I think is the hunkiest of the dads. I went to a coffee shop and went over to a rock show and had a lot of fun. And then it was the rock show to the Dahlia. It was this band.

Oh, fuck. I forgot the name of the band. It was this cool band that he that was someone that he'd booked to the coffee shop and you go there and you also meet this guy. Let's get the real life equivalent. Who did we go see? I think it was kind of like a seeing a vampire weekend. OK, yeah, it's kind of like a cool.

They're cool, right? Yeah, I think so. I wouldn't know that. Well, I probably say some ironic stuff while I was there. Right. And also, who of who of the people who've been on this podcast before? Could you compare the the the hunk I went on a date with? Oh, who does who does Matt look like?

Boy, I don't know. I mean, like he's a he's a good looking dude. We've had some hunks on the show. Yeah. I don't I have a hard time thinking of a map because he's got he's got some specific look. He's got glasses and dreadlocks. I feel like that like sort of alters my my thoughts of like what kind of guy

you looks like. Yeah, I don't know. He's got a good look to him, though. I'm just going to say you song. So then we went out with Robert, who is a dangerous rogue, and he may be having an affair with Joseph's wife. It was really I was really worried. So everybody's fucking everybody in this game.

Yeah, he's a hellraiser and we took him out and I kind of turned him off because we had an option. I'm not sure if you can see this here, but we had an option for him to order a drink at the bar, you being Mitch. Of course, I ordered something tropical because I know you love a Mai Tai. You know, you have an island drink, but he was not impressed. He wanted to get whiskey straight up because he's a badass. But we we caused some trouble in his car.

Then we went out with Brian. I mean, we just sort of like went around town and caused a ruckus, stuck into a movie, got a got into a skirmish with some teens. We also went out with Brian. Wait, the dads are fighting children. Yeah, it was weird. It's kind of weird. They like go to movie theater and then you kind of yell at some kids and then

you almost fight them in the now in the alley. So quick question. How much time did you spend on this game? Probably about 10 hours. Jesus, I had a lot of you spend 10 hours on a game where you were role playing as me, trying to fuck other dads. Yeah, because my daughter's going out to college, right? Some who are some who are married, some who are not married.

And let me tell you, I think it's the most action Mitch has gotten in a while. I'm saying this scenario is not the question, but you spent a 10 hours as me trying to fuck a bunch of dads in fighting children. Yeah, I guess so. I guess I did. I get the game is for the game is fun. The game is a lot. This also sounds like branded content, but we're this is the don't

always get me, but then we went out with Brian. I think this game is fucking weird. I think you're weird for doing this. Then we went out with Brian, who I actually was disappointed a little bit because I think he looks more like you than the in game Mitch I made. That's a pretty good Mitch there. That is a pretty good look at that beard. He's got a good physique.

He's obviously a little bigger than you, but I mean, like, I think that he bear very much captures the, the, yeah, he's got the essence. And we also went out to a Tiki bar. So that was fun. Oh, wow. The day with Brian went great. I got an S rank, the highest possible rank, which is funny. Why do that?

Why, why do why in gaming is it S? It's a Japanese thing. Apparently, like, you know, they have like a similar rating in school, but instead of there's no F, there's an E because the F for failure doesn't translate and then above a, there's an S, which is kind of like the star or special sort of way to think of it. So I just always think of it as the star rank. It's like the bet.

It's like an A plus doesn't Japan, the, the, the, don't, the, the Japanese have like a number that they hate too. Oh, do they really? I think they have a number that they hate. Is it the number 23? Uh, I think it is the first one. All right. So you got an S.

So this is good. Yeah. So it looks like I'm going to fuck myself. Well, right. Very close to life, um, in that regard. So there's a lot of mini games in this game and they're kind of, they're, if I was going to criticize anything about this, I feel like the mini games are not great, um, they're kind of hard to control and they, they could just kind of

throw them out you out of nowhere. And then they're very consequential for what the gameplay is. And I feel like the sort of thing I wish that the mini games were a little bit better, uh, we're just a little bit more polished and refined and, or if they remove kind of the time limit on some of these, so you could figure out how to play them. Um, that's a side note. Wait, was this, was this keg stand?

Oh, no, the next guy. No, the next guy we went out with keg stand Craig, who's super athletic. He's your old buddy from school. He's like, uh, and the way that he's also had a total body transformation. So he was a, yeah, I think he used to be more of a, of a Mitch type guy in college and he's very much slimmed down. He's got a, he's got a family now. Um, we got a kiss from Craig at the end of this night.

Wait, is he married? He is used to be married, uh, but they, they're divorced, but he's got a family. He's taken care of as a single dad. Um, there's no adultery here. He's got a baby in a, in a jumper, basically around his waist and on a tennis court and in that situation, he ends up kissing you on the forehead. So I think that went pretty well for all nice and borderline platonic. Is there a chance you can, uh, I, I, I, I generally genuinely want to know.

Is there a fan's chance that he will fuck you while wearing the baby in a jumper? I mean, I don't, it's maybe, I think that you'd probably need a mod for that. Um, we also went, went out with Vincent the goth. Oh, okay. And, uh, we're going to tell you, take us to some strange place. That's actually his house. He's got like a weird sort of like, yeah. He's got this weird sort of ornate, Victorian, uh, sort of era aesthetic

inside his own home, um, Castlevania, Esk. It's very Castlevania Esk. Yeah. It's kind of like dating Alucard. And then we also, we went out with Hugo, Hugo, Hugo, uh, actually helped him chaperone, Mitch actually helped him chaperone a school trip to the aquarium. I did nothing of the sort. And, uh, as you can see here, a little bit of dialogue that I captured, uh, Mitch

does not trust the ocean because he is very scared of the various wildlife in there. Wait, are you, are you, you wrote that? I didn't write that, but that's the one of the options you can pick. Oh, he's a very ocean. This is a very ocean focused character. Sharks are scary. That's all.

Yeah. Well, this was specifically about the creatures that are inside the ocean and how he didn't want to touch the things in the tank, which I thought was true to character. Um, then we went to with Joseph, the married youth pastor, uh, Mitch discloses in this exchange that this isn't a dialogue option that I picked, but he disclosed that his dream is to live in Margaritaville, which is a studio chain restaurant character.

Um, and then we went on second dates and I bet things went so well with Brian. I went with Brian first fishing. I just saw a shirtless picture. Yeah, we went fishing and things progressed. What the fuck? Brian took his shirt off, uh, cause he got a little wet. Is that a fox? Um, he, it's a, it's a little corgi.

It's his corgi with a little neckerchief. You give his corgi some belly rubs and then Brian responds. I feel like a bit of a third wheel here. Where are my belly rubs? What the fuck is wrong with you? So, so things are going great with Brian. Another S rank here. Um, we, after that one on a workout date with Craig to the park, which was a

disaster, we were trying to find the babies lost all the whole time. And I totally failed. The baby was lost. No, the baby lost their toy and was having a meltdown and we couldn't find it. This sounds like you were very clumsy. You dropped a knife in our, uh, one in Pizzano's. I dropped one in the kitchen early. Yeah.

IRL clumsy in game clumsy. You almost, the knife almost went through my foot. Did it really? No, I was kidding. Okay. Jesus Christ. They're horrible. Um, yeah.

So, cause I really thought, yes. I mean, I would say this is, I'm not saying it's weird because it's dad's fucking other dads. Right. This would be weird if you did a thing with me fucking women. It's all weird. It's weird that I picked, that it chose to role play as you, but I felt oddly appropriate.

Yeah. I feel like you were a lot of people's, you would be a lot of people's dreamed daddy. Oh God. Damn it. Did you, did you rub his stomach or no? Um, you don't really have the option. Hey, you know what I'm gonna say?

He's pretty buff with his shirt. He looks great. He's, he's definitely a guy that does a lot of yard work, does a lot outdoors, but I mean, he's got, he's a little thick, but I mean, like, there's nothing wrong with that. He looks great. Um, uh, the date with Craig was a dud. I thought Craig, because we had a shared history and trying to role play as Mitch,

I figured you'd end up with one of your old Quincy buddies, but unfortunately it just didn't work out. What the fuck? I blew it, Mitch blew it with Craig. I wouldn't have blown it with Craig. You blew it with Craig. Well, uh, that's how, that's how this one worked out. Uh, we went out with Robert to the woods.

I didn't even care about these other guys. We, we, we, we did some wood carving with Robert. Um, and we had a new friend. Yeah. We, we carved out a, I carved a little duck with him and then we opened up about our dads and Robert was very moved by that and that date went fantastic. Dude, dude, you sick fuck. Real to life.

Do you tell him my dad is dead? No, no, you don't have that option. All right. But I, but he is like Mitch, Mitch, the in-game Mitch is had a kind of a distant father, doesn't parallel your, your upbringing at all, but he had kind of a distant father. And so he's hoping that he and Amanda have a better bond that his, than his own dad had with him, um, went out with Matt to the record store, had a great, better

second date with Matt, tried to score some pot afterwards. Uh, they struggled to score pot. I don't feel like you'd struggle to score pot. I think you're hell no problem with that. That's more of a, of a Weigar move. And then we went to struggle to smoke pot. Yeah, absolutely. We took Vincent to see a vampire movie and then went to a graveyard picnic.

I know that you're got, but you don't have to go see a vampire movie for God's sake. You know, here's the little twist. He's actually a scaredy cat. Vincent. He, he, he's, yeah, he, he wears all that golf stuff on the outside, but you see some, uh, when he was actually seeing those vampires on screen, he was squeezing your hand pretty tight. Then we went out to the, we went out to the graveyard afterwards and we ran,

we ran into Robert there. Oh, shit. Yeah. But he was just, he was just out for a stroll, um, looking for some forest monsters. Uh, we did bar, Bart Shrivia night with Hugo. Yeah. He's got this whole thing with cryptids where he believes in like, you know, uh, the, you know, what, what, like, like skunk ape, that sort of thing.

So he was looking for them in the outskirts of the graveyard. That's why it was hanging out there. All right. Uh, we went to Bart Shrivia night with Hugo. Okay. And Hugo really likes Mitch. Uh, here's a little thing. He likes me a little too much.

Seems a little desperate. Here's what, here, what's the little thing? So we, you go to part of your, the mini game you do here is you do bar trivia night versus Brian, who's, as I mentioned earlier, is very competitive. And as you can see in the screenshot here, there was a question in trivia night. What entertainer makes a fourth wall breaking appearance in the film? Gremlins to Mitch, you know, the answer to this. The answer is Hulk Hogan.

And you were correct. And I answered that and you buzzed in and that helped you not quite get to victory, but do very well in trivia night and impress Hugo. Hugo had a great time on that date. Another S rank there. Um, too bad you want it too much. Hugo. Uh, and then we went to Joseph.

We went with Joseph to chaperones Christian youth dance. Uh, Mitch got busy on the dance floor and then Joseph showed you a secret heart away, a secret hideaway, Margarita zone, which is like a fake Christian Margaritaville that he erected in his home office. This guy, this guy, I don't like this guy. Yeah. Joseph is a little, I mean, Joseph is kind of the saddest story of these. He's got a distant, he's, he's in a marriage, but it's clearly failing.

His kids are weird. He's very, he seems very desperate for friendship. I mean, I just felt bad for Joseph. I hope, I hope he finds happiness in the sequel. I mean, it looks a little like a wiger. Joseph's got the, Joseph's the closest to the wiger look here. Um, all right. So we got, here's, here's what, here was the bottom line on these two dates

cause after two dates, you got to pick your dad and go with them. Wow. S ranks on both Hugo dates, S rates on S ranks on both Brian dates. We got one a rank and one S rank with both Robert and Vincent. So those are kind of our picks. We got the goth, we got the bad boy. Uh, we got the, we got the, the thick outdoorsmen and then we got the middle school teacher who you think is a little desperate.

I went with Brian and that's the like the Quincy guy. Yeah. No, that was Craig. Brian is the big, Brian is the big guy. Okay. Craig was the athletic guy. But I like Brian's great. We committed this dad.

Brian's got a daughter, Daisy, him and Amanda get along, uh, her and Amanda rather get along. They're, they're real, uh, they're both real brainiacs and Brian is always challenging you to various contests throughout your dates. You've gotten in, you know, you've gotten in fishing contests and this one, you're getting a ski ball contest. He's very hard to beat. You go up in a, uh, in a Ferris wheel ride, you get to the top of the ride.

It breaks down. You have some a little bit of a lone time. You have a little bit of a heart to heart and you confess that what's really at you this whole time, all these emotions, all this jealousy is what's actually been driving this competitiveness you have with Brian is that you're actually jealous of what he has, but really, really, you guys realize that you belong together. And so you sit down under the fireworks and you share your first kiss.

Wow. And then Amanda's graduation party is next. All the dads are there. Oh, wow. These guys, they've all gone on dates together. We've all gone on dates with, they've all gone on dates with you. They're all, I guess, still probably hoping to hook up with you. They all show up to your daughter's graduation party, which is poor daughter.

I know. And this horny dad with all these guys he wants to fucking every dad at the cul-de-sac, they're all just showing up in her backyard. She's totally oblivious. She's actually helping you out along, along the way. And you get some alone time with Brian in the backyard at the end. I nestle myself in the spoff space between Brian's shoulder and chest. No matter how many times he washes that shirt, I bet he'll never get the smell

of campfire out of it, not that I mind. And you get a little, get a little bonus at the end. A little shirtless pick of Brian fishing. Like a, like a, like a very well, like a very detailed, like different from the rest of the art. It feels like it's a very, someone puts, puts some time into this. So that's it. You end up with Brian.

Like I said, he looks a lot like you, which I think is appropriate. I feel like Mitch should end up with a Mitch. Hey, I like it. Well, that's a nice ending. Uh, so what did Natalie think of all this? Let me just say this, the game is, I like, I found the game very like touching and moving, especially towards the, the end, the arc you have with your daughter, cause it's so much of it is about like your daughter is struggling

with, she's got a single parent and she's got, she lost her mom and she's going to go to a way, a way to college and she's got all these different pressures in her life. And the way it handles all that, I think like it handles it pretty delicately. And I genuinely felt some emotion towards the end when you and your daughter, you're, you're, you're throwing this big party for her. And clearly there's just like, so there's such a loving relationship between the two of you.

And then it's nice that this dad, uh, you know, who's got so much going on is able to, to find some love in such a difficult circumstance. So I'm glad it worked out for you, Mitch. I mean, that's not the real me. Well, I think it should be. You want me to go around and fuck a bunch of dads? I'm going to find a, I'm going to find your Brian. Jesus Christ.

He's got to beat these exact specifications. He's got to have an 11 year old daughter. Well, Nick, uh, you never, uh, you never fail to, uh, confuse the fuck out of me. I was going to, I honestly had this idea originally of playing through as you and Stardew Valley, which is a game I put a lot of hours into, but I realized that you're, you're, you're Stardew Valley character, this farm building sim. He would just like never harvest any crops. He would just stay in bed and watch TV and that your farm would fail.

That's bullshit. If I had, if I, if I needed a real, if I had to work on a real farm, right, I would, I would, I would do what I had to do. I would sew oats. So that's a euphemism for fuck. So you just fucked dad's again. Is that possible in a Stardew Valley? Yeah.

Why not? All right. Well, that's all I got. Uh, well, Nick, I also played a game that's about you. No, I didn't fucking play a 10 hours of a game pretending I was Nick Wiger. What the fuck is wrong with you? Uh, though you do remind me, what was the, uh, what was the name who came with a, the robot, uh, ROB, robotic operating, you remind me of Rob.

When you're Rob, that would come with gyro might that's fucked up. Hey, you know what? You can do a lot worse than Rob. I'll take an action. Why are you, well, you, you spend 10 hours with, what about Zelda? I've been playing Zelda. This was between, I'm unemployed right now. You've been unemployed for a week.

You've gone insane. I know. I lost my mind very quickly. Jesus Christ. I mean, like, I don't think either, I don't think dream daddy or Pizanos want to be associated with this episode. I think this is a good endorsement for both products. Again, the dough boys can't be bought.

This is not branded content. Um, but hey, thanks for listening. I feel like I have to go take a shower. Be thinking of Brian in there. I'm not going to jack off the fucking Brian. Um, well, Nick, is that it? Yeah, that's it. Well, Nick, fuck you, you weirdo.

Don't ever roleplay as me ever again. We'll see. On that note, uh, should we wrap it up? Let's wrap it up. All right, we're going to leave you on a little moan. All right, we're going to leave you on a little moment of meow. And Irma doesn't go around fucking dads in the neighborhood either. One second, my boys.

Oh my God. There we go. Irma. Irma. I found your plans, Irma. What is this thing about assassinating Seth Rogan, Irma? Irma, you've changed since you've come back. Okay, I want you to relax.

Wally and I, we're going to send you to a treatment center. Irma. Okay. If you ignore me, it's not going to make all your problems go away. Okay. All right. You don't want to talk anymore.