Doughboys - Drac-Dough-Ber-Fang: STK with Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

Stavros Halkias (@stavvybaby2, Uncle Stav) joins the 'boys to talk The Odyssey, vampire lore, and sushi before a review of STK. Plus, a horror movie edition of Frank Check.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Hey, buddy, the doughboys are coming to Texas, y'all. On November 17th, we'll be it.

That's right. Are you doing Slingblade? French fried potatoes. Is he from Texas? Mm-hmm. Wait, really? Who else is? The guy who got caught in the bathroom.

What's his name? The guy who he talked about killing the the lady in the bathroom. Okay, he's also from Texas? Robert Durst. Great. So we got Slingblade and then Robert Durst. Two famous Texans.

What's a Robert Durst impression? Like, he's burping. I think he was a burping guy. He was a burping and he's saying like, what did I do? I did it. Look, the doughboys are coming to Texas. We don't know a lot about Texas. There's good barbecue.

There is good barbecue there. Are we going to review it? We're going to find out November 17th. We will be in Houston at the Houston Improv. On November 18th, Wags, we're going to be at Dallas at the Addison Imprope. November 19th, Austin at Capitol City Comedy Club. And then Wags, November 25th,

Boston at the Wilbur Theater. And hey, if you're flying solo in Houston and Dallas, single tickets are now available for those shows. So, enjoy going alone in the Lone Star State. And come on. If you're going to a doughboy show, you're most

likely going alone. Me too, though. Don't feel bad. I'm going alone. I'm going alone, but Mitch will be there too. And Wags will be there, too. And maybe Maybe we'll fuck. Houston, Dallas, Austin, Boston, November. Birdfuck.com slash live. See you there, y'all.

French fried potatoes. 250 slaughterhouses. This was the grim tally at the turn of the 20th century in a Manhattan neighborhood appropriately dubbed The Meatpacking District. But by the start of the 21st century, this openly permitted enclave of wholesale industrialized murder was itself killed off by an even more insidious force. Gentrification.

In New York City's post-9-11 sex-in-the-city era, the meatpacking district cross-faded from industrial to commercial district, repopulating the emptied killing floors with jam-packed dance floors, as it became a go-to neighborhood for trendy restaurants and nightclubs. And amidst this boom, in 2006, restaurants, tour Jonathan Siegel opened a meatpacking district eatery dubbed Not Your Daddy's Steakhouse. Attempting to overwrite the stuffy, business-oriented white tablecloth steakout experience with a hipper, more accessible atmosphere he called vibe dining. Seagull succeeded in turning the old boys' club into a nightclub. Younger clientele flocked to the restaurant like lambs to

the slaughter. As much for the DJs in Vegas lighting as the porterhouse is in creamed spinning. The concept successfully expanded to the glitz of L.A. in 2008, and then nationally and internationally, today with around 30 locations. In 2024, in a twist worthy of M. Knight Sharmelon, the company acquired Benihana, an earlier generation's version of a showy beef broker that was more sizzled than steak. Considering Benihana founder Rocky Aoki was the father of DJ Steve Aoki, he might have found a union with Siegel's five-dining fitting. And though today's meeting, packing district would be unrecognizable to a 1900's knickerbocker. It has one sinister continuity. Profiting off of the death and dismemberment of helpless animals. This week on Doe Boys, as Dactober Fang

2026, a spooked Dracula month of Stakes and Stakes continues, do you dare face the brutality of STK? Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. Hey, Bloody, I'm Nick Ware-Tiger. along with my co-host, bland stroker, the spoon fang, Mike Mitchell. Blaned stroker, like I jack it, like, boringly. Is that what the joke is? Hey, Doe, fam, I'd like to submit my roast

inspired by Mitch's preference of Irish authors as discussed in Bucca de Beco, Jesus Christ, Becad de Beppo? Becad de Bapo? Scott, you're writing back in Becadnebo. That sounds like somebody like Gaborish fucked when he was 13. Becad de Beppo. She sucked his dick at

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. After, like, oh, you can eat clams and surfing or whatever weird fucking Guido childhood he had. She's in the Trump cabinet now. It was the episode with Chloe Radcliffe. Inspired by Irish author, Bram Stoker, the creator of Bram Stoker,

the creator of Dracula, as we know him today. We call him Bram Stoker. It's a Freudian slip that it, because you call him Bram Stoker every time, and I started doing it now, too. Bram Stoker, the creator of Dracula. As we know him today, Thanks for all that you do.

I'll be The Austin Show with my alpha lawyer wife. Please do a good job so I can press for Scott roast at birdfuck.com. Mitch, that Dracula-themed roast is because we're continuing drakdober fang a spook Dracula month of stakes and steaks, all steakhouses in the main feed, bane feed, and all Dracula content

in the double or bluddle. Blah. Some excellent pun work. Another year, boys. Congratulations. A good ass sense-making-ass pun for a whole month. Oh, I was part of it last year, was it? Then we have soups dough soups fuck.

Oh, yeah, you were. You were. Mr. October. I'm fucking. You are Mr. Well, you're our oaky rookie of the year. Why. Yeah, that's right.

Yep. Was Reggie Jackson? Yeah. I'm basically Reggie Jackson of this podcast. I was rookie the year last year this year. Fucking home runs. When the fall crisp hits the air, I'm here. Which we need because so far the year has been bad.

Yeah. We need to win people back over. Right. and have their, and have listeners wives gift them a subscription to the podcast on Patreon for Christmas. That's basically what we need. Oh, that's your whole model.

Yeah. Yeah, is men who the purse string, they have no access to the house finances and they have to beg their more successful what. Please. Can I, this?

They're like, pick one podcast where fat guys talk about some bullshit that doesn't matter. You can only pick one this year, you know, and it's like between you and like, dangling their purse above. They're like, they're like a dog

of all the purse Yeah And by the way Picks Stavvy's world Fuck the doughboys You have to make one Fat guy podcast That doesn't matter

Pickstobies world And then The doughboy second We can show that The doughboy second We're happy to have The straw that stirs the drink Right another Reggie Jackson thing

Yeah What a great quote He described himself as such Oh I like that's fair That's fun Wait is that a Reggie Jackson came up with that?

I'm pretty sure That's fucking poetry Isn't that cool? Yeah Yeah Great Scott Marty. I can't believe you're making me say, yeah. I can't believe you're making me respect the Yankee.

Fuck the Yankees. That's actually where we do fucking align. But he was cool because, you know, because all the dumb, again, Italian-style guys that were mad that a black guy was good at sports or whatever. You know what I mean? Like he was cool at least because he did make racist Yankees fans in the 70s kind of mad. Yeah. I would guess.

Also a good performance in naked gun. Yes. Very true. Yeah. And also now that problem with Italians is over. They don't have that issue. It's done. That's a thing that's in the past.

It doesn't happen still. Yeah, check out the 9-11. The guys just lined up. Be like, oh, fucking Muslims, maya, but 9-11 happened. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? They've totally gotten over it.

Mitch and business to get to. We have our live shows in November. We're going to be in Houston in November 17th. Dallas, November 18th. November 19th, we'll be in Austin. November 25th. We'll be in your hometown of Boston.

But aside from that, We have some action figures that we're debuting today. We do. We have some action figures. These are from jack slime and figure collections. Here we go. The Wags and Mitch Toys are here. Wow.

You can make them fight. You can make them fuck. You can do anything you want with them. Yep. Very exciting, Wags. Figure out Norifice to put them in. The perfect size to do it. There's two.

I think there's two main ones. You put the guys mouth if you want to. You know the two ones. talking about. Dick hole and balls. Slice your balls up with a footmitch in there. Oh, God.

I'm just picturing my toy's face, like, with ball skin stretched around it. Now, do you guys have that thing, like, the Play-Doh house where you could, like, put Play-Doh in and press it down and, like, a little pink dick comes out of your crotch? We do have that.

Like, instead of spaghetti, Plato's where you guys can make Play-Doh little dicks. Yours is little Wigers is. huge. That would be awesome. We have a button on the back where you push it and there's a jack action. Right, right. They're jack action figures. They look beautiful. They look really nice. They're really well crafted.

Nice work from Jack Slim. Do you want to open it? Do you want to fuck around with? No, you don't have. We don't have to unbox them, I guess. We can do that at some point. All right, we won't do it now. You can do it. If you want, you want to open them. You want to open them. You want to open them. He wants to put them balls. Yeah. Which wants to put them is nuts. They're so pretty. I don't want to open. I kind of

don't want to open the back. Okay. Leave a mint and You're the one who brought it up moments ago. Neither me or fucking Weiger give a fuck. Amelia was like, do you think it was either Emma or Amelia were like, do you think Stob would want them? I was like, no. I'll take one. I'll take a toy?

You got to pick one. Oh, shit. Well, I guess you see more of Weiger's thighs, but his knees are kind of bony. They are a little bony. So I'm not attracted to you, so I'll pick Mitch because he's flat. Fuck, yeah. Horny first and then fat solidarity.

second. Although there's a Celtics, there's a Celtics hat. Fuck this. I'm taking Liger. Even though now this doesn't look like why there's like a fucking Latino guy. Overall good, maybe the first run great stuff. I got notes for run too, but good stuff. This is ages 15 plus as if any child would want to play

with it. So many of these toys are going to look like frosted donuts by the time our fans are done with them. Jesus. You think you'd get cum tributes on your action figures? Mitch, I want to give a quick shout. I mentioned this before we were recording. This happened back in late August.

I forgot to mention on the pod, but, you know, we were in Santa Barbara for my birthday, and I wanted to get seafood dinner. And at the top of everyone's list was this Basque seafood restaurant called Dom's Taverna. So I made a res. We go over to Dom's. We sit down instantly.

The chef is at her table, giving us free apps, free drinks. He says some very nice things about the pot. He's a fan. I ask his name, it's fucking Dom. Dom of Dom's Taverna. Oh, holy shit. I believe the beverage director, Ben, also a fan of the pod.

I took a pick with the both of them. But it was a fantastic meal. Best meal I had this year. And I would advise anyone in Santa Barbara to check out Dom's. I love it. Awesome. Lovely time. You and I talked about making a Santa Barbara movie,

like Santa Barbara's Santa's sister, remember this? What? We did? Yeah, we did. See? What are you talking about? This is the rich vein. Santa Barbara is Santa Claus's sister, like her.

What are you not understanding? It's instant. I don't even know this fucking idea, and I got it like that. It's Santa's sister, Santa Barbara. I guess we could do it. She moved from the North Pole to fucking L.A. or to California because she liked warm weather. She liked warm weather.

There we go. And now Santa is incapacitated. She's got to step up and she's got to live up to the Santa legacy. I love it. I left that all behind. I surf now. Right. I don't fucking do reindeer shit.

This is fucking perfect. Yeah. Get writing. So she's got a sur, like her sleigh is a surfboard tugged by dolphins. I love that. That's fucking good as hell. But if there's no water in the clouds, they start to fucking drown. Right.

It's got to be a foggy night so the dolphins get water out of the clouds. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, they'll fucking die. Yeah, the dolphins will die if they don't get water out of the clouds. So that, we have to figure that out. We'll figure that out. We're on the same page. That's a solvable problem.

We can work out that logic. We'll figure that out. She maybe has cloud powers, too. We can talk about it. Yeah, she might have cloud powers. She's kind of storm. Right. She has storms powers.

This is, this is, she does have, she has storms powers. Just for clouds. She can't do wind. She can't do. No lightning. Just cloud. No light. Yeah.

Can she do a little lightning? Maybe that's a reveal at the end. Is lightning cloud related? I think it counts. She at the end of the movie, she electrocutes the bad guy with the light. with a lightning strike. Right. It turns out she's been storm the whole time.

She has been stormed the whole time. So it's in the Marvel cinematic universe. We are going to have to clear that with them, which shouldn't be a problem. It shouldn't be a problem. I think it's fine. Let's make the bad guy Magneto. It'll be fine.

Just be an X-Men. If you guys... Yeah, well, I don't know if you want to make a Jewish bad guy. Okay, I didn't think about that. Right, right. Being the bad guy in a Christmas movie. Sounds like a bad idea. Sure.

Don't take him. And we electrocute him at the end of the movie? Jesus Christ. It's not going to be Magneto. You know what? I'm off the storm idea, actually. Maybe she just has cloud power. Yeah, she just has cloud powers.

I'm off. All right, all right. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Santa Barbara's, that's good, though. We'll keep this conversation going. Also, by the way, when you saw the whale, you know, same thing with him, he stopped in the cloud so he could get the water to keep going. It's a similar thing. We were talking either at dinner last night about how it would be awesome if there was a whale sequel

where halfway as God was like zapping him and bringing him up to fucking heaven or whatever the whale was too fucking fat and so God was like ah fucking it drops him because there's in that movie whale fall well fall is coming up with Austin Abrams so I thought that was a I didn't realize Austin Abrams was in it

I thought it was a sequel where Brendan Fraser is getting taken up to Evan and then he's so fucking fat God gets tired and drops him and he just falls and it's like fuck fuck and it's like the Birch Khalifa It's like really, at the Himalayas, just tall shit. You were saying it was like a deep impact or an Armageddon.

Exactly. Now we have to, because the whale is going to fucking, yeah, I think the crack the Marianas trench was the idea. Yeah, the idea is that he's going to fall on, crack the earth in half. He falls on the marionerine a trench. Oh, so he's going to hit that he's going to impact the ocean and then just keep going. Because halfway, because God, because like he got healing power through God's light when he's coming up.

Yeah, yeah. I think it. Did you not get that? No, I figured out that I put together the head of healing power. Because he was almost in heaven. He was almost immortal, but he stopped halfway. He stopped halfway. So he keeps getting hurt and healing as he's falling.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And God is really, I love the idea that God is, the way it was floating up time, God was really struggling to pull up. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, that's fatted shit. Oh, these guys so fucking fat. I don't care that he's gay, though. I'm God, and I don't care that he's gay.

He's just fatted shit. You notice you're still going to heaven, even though it wasn't a great dad, and he's gay. Pretty cool, the church now, huh? Sign up, kids. And maybe we do that. We kind of partner with the Catholic Church. Right, yeah, yeah.

To kind of get, and we get Spancon that way. It can be one. What is, what is the production company that made the, uh, the, the movie where they, the, the, the stolen children movie. Oh, yes. Yes, yeah, Kevin Sorbo. Yeah, Kevin Sorbo. Yeah, Kevin Sorbo.

You got to get Kevin Sorbo to play God. And he's like, all right, all right. Anyway, sorry, enough pitches. Sorry, we're doing food, food podcast. Do you like the idea of whale fallwags? Are you in? Do you mean the actual movie, Whale Fall? Oh, you know you read the book, Whale Fall?

No, I didn't. Oh, you didn't? What'd you get that from? You told me about whale fall. I thought you had read the book. You're confusing with someone else. We've never had a conversation about whale fall. We haven't?

No, I don't think so. Mitch exposed. Bad listener exposed. Also, it's just me hearing about someone read a book. Yeah. Are you going to drop to play? You look like Doc Brown. That's what the reference was at the top of it.

We'll get to that in a second. to that in a second. All right, fine. We'll get to that in a second. Play the fucking job so I can finally say something. I've been off mic this whole time. There was a great amount of feta and whatever other cheese, and there were some onions, but it wasn't too onion-y.

No, yeah, nicely balanced. Yeah, I wasn't too much spinach. I was thinking, what am I in and meekonos right now? Am I in some shitty, fuck-ass studio in meekino? Wait a second. Where am I in freaking mechino's? What's going on here? on here?

There's, I couldn't imagine a place like Headgum Studios exists, a meekonos, but... Probably not in mechinoos. Yeah, yeah, but it felt like, it felt like a nice, this Greek pie was delightful. I felt like we were in mecanos. It didn't feel like we...

That's what I was thinking of mecanos. Wow. That's nice. This is from the time that Clero Kane and the boys went to meet. Went to Mekanos, question mark. Claire is so funny, talented, and beautiful, and literally don't, you don't deserve to have her on your board. Whoa, what the floor.

Cheers from. She's all right. I'm friends with her. She's not any of that stuff where you can't do the podcast. Cheers from Emerson in Provincetown, Mass. Wow. Hey, we'll get into Provincetown Mass in a second. Yeah.

But I think we can have Claire on the podcast. Yeah, we already did. She's very talented, all that stuff, but not too much to do the podcast. podcast. What are we talking about? That guy needs to fucking, that's a horny-ass fucking drop description. Transparently horny. Emerson? Emerson, it was a little too

horny. Emerson chill. Calm down, Emerson. If you were just a chill bloke, maybe you could have fucked Claire. But you came on too strong. Maybe I go to text to Claire, be like, whoa, this really cool guy Emerson says some fucking chill stuff about the drop. You should hit him

up. Emerson's another husband, right? No, that's Nick Naney. Yeah, big rules. Great guy. Jobs at BirdFuck.com. We get a Nick on the pod. And we deserve to have both of them on the pod.

Yes. I love it. And, hey, we don't deserve to have today's guest on the pod. That's true. We're thrilled to have him as always. From Stabby's World and Tony, his new stand-up special is Uncle Stav. And it's out on Netflix. Stavrosalkius is back.

That's right. Hello, you vampire fucking scum. Hey. I'm fucking Stavv, Hells. I'm gonna fucking kill you pieces of shit if you're not fucking careful. So just be on... Wow.

Just be on guard, all right? Because you offer me to be a vampire, but I'm a Christian. Like Van Helsing, and I would never do devilish shit like that. The combination crucifix steak is fucking hard for. Pretty cool, dude. And it's all bloody, too. You've taken some vampire lives. I've already killed some of your associates and loved ones.

And you killed the count? Yeah, fuck the count. The count is They're fucking teaching our kids Math. They're tricking our kids with shit like math. It doesn't matter. Fuck that.

So Amelia helps me with my outlines. The first bullet point she put in today's for guests is just a dress costume. So this is maybe primarily for audio listeners, but for,

I guess everyone just say who they are. I am Asterian from Baldersgate 3. Of course. One of the most classic fucking vampires of all time. Why did you even bother to say that, We all knew you were a Starian from Balders Gate 3. I'm Van Helsing.

Obviously, most popularized, I would say, by Hugh Jackman. Oh, yeah. In the excellent movie, Van Helsing. Yes, yeah. And he was also in the underworld. Wasn't he in Underworld or some shit? He maybe was an Underworld. Van Helsing is a recurring character in the Dracula mythos.

Of course. But, yeah, I think he's been. Isn't it Stephen Summers? Isn't it the mummy guy or no? Am I wrong? Sounds right, but I don't remember. Bills is on it. I watched that once, actually, not Mikono, but on a different Greek island, they were playing like the shitty Frankenstein, the shitty Aaron Eckhart, Frankenstein. Is that I Frankenstein?

Literally, I was treated to a I Frankenstein Van Helsing double feature with Greek subtitles. I'm in one of the most beautiful places on earth and I'm just like, dude, I'm fucking high. I'm watching I, Frankenstein. Instead of being outside and like eating fresh seafood, I was like, this is fucking all. Listen, dude. We're playing I Frankenstein for free. I don't know if you remember this detail about I Frankenstein, but the final line of that film is I Frankenstein. Oh, I remember, brother. In fact, Greek TV loves to replay the same American movies over. So for that whole- Mamma Mia? Do they play Mamma Mia? No, no. I've never caught Mamma Mia.

And there's been moments in my life where it would have been very important for me to watch Mamma Mia and it was not there for me. You've seen Mamma Mia. I have, but yeah, I was on Mikonos once thinking, damn, be nice to watch Mama Mia and they didn't have it. That's fucked up. Fucked up, dude. But they replay the same moments. The same moment. So I caught I Frankenstein a lot over the last five days.

Like, anytime me and my, I was there with my French straight George, we were on a straight vacation together. No. That's all you need to know about that. And we were, we were just like hang out. Interesting to say that up top of vacation. That's just his name. His name is straight George.

And by the way, if we were on a gay vacation, I would tell you. I'm not ashamed if I was on a gay vacation. I'm just letting you know, me and my friend Straight George, we're on a regular straight vacation on a Greek island together, two straight buds hanging out on Eos. We were visiting my cousin Leonida. And yeah, we just got really fucked up

and watched parts of I Frankenstein, I would say every day, five days in a row. So I Frankenstein, and to a lesser extent, Van Helsing, who I am dressed like. In fact, Amelia, can you get me an I Frankenstein costume? Can we have an expressed? It's actually similar. wearing like a duster, I think, right?

Yeah, it's a very similar thing. Is he supposed to, yeah. Yeah, he just kind of has like the classic. He just has a scar. Scar. There is, is Van Helsing in I. Frankenstein or no? Great question. I don't think so. I think it's, I think he's battling gargoyles or something. Yes, he is. Oh, he's off battling, they established that he's off battling gargoles

at the beginning of I Frankenstein? You know how an underworld, the underworld franchise, which is mentioned, it's like Dracula's versus werewolves, like, call him Lycans. It's the same sort of principle. It's like, it's like Frankensteins versus gargoyles of memory serves. Oh, actually he's just wearing a gray hoodie and a black peacoat. Oh, man, that fucking sucks. That's so funny. If they ever do a white lotus in Greece, you got to be on it.

Oh, fuck, dude. It would be so good. That would be incredible. I would love that. I would love to do some weird stuff. Vacation shows. I want to get on a vacation show. It just seems fucking fun as hell to go be on a vacation show.

Honestly, yeah, I would love to just. I think I'm just going to create a really shitty. Like, I, like, just do, like, a very bad, like a white trash lotus, basically. I love it. Where it's just, like, on the eastern shore in Maryland. That actually would be kind of fun. Then we just rent a fucking house and shoot some bullshit. Right.

Then nobody, who cares if it's good or not? We had a good time. Sandler style. I love it. Shout out to Sandman is really the blueprint. We love him. If he would do the pod, he would be our final episode. But he's on the Mick list.

Oh, yeah, that's a big one. We don't have to end the episode. episode if we happen to and the podcast. And the podcast. We happen to get Samley. Mitch is playing to kill himself right after. So you can keep going. Mitch is like, oh, I get to talk the fucking Big Macs with Adam Sandler. Might you well kill myself. I mean, truly, it's not going to get better than that. What do you want for me? Family, wife, children, never getting that. I talk to Sandler, timed off myself. And I kind of agree, by the way, if he did Stavvy's World, I would consider killing myself. Yeah, why not? What else am I going to do? Celebratorily. Yes. Why

No, you die like, at the end of, fucking, um, one battle after another. Weiger just is putting you in an incinerator. Carl Tart just sits down. Podcast fucking goes up 8,000% immediately. And then Carl Tart, and then Carl fucking replaces Weiger with somebody else better. And it's just like, no boy. I told you guys my idea, I shouldn't even spoil it. But I want, because Eldis is on, he, he, elders on paternity leave, I guess we can say that.

I had a kid. Congratulations to Eldins. We got a new baby in the family. We're so excited. You're going to incorporate the baby into the pod? 100%. The kids got to start earning its keep. It needs to understand.

Ultimately, I decide it's fucking on the street. Eldis, it's getting fed off Eldis. Eldis is getting fed off me. But we need to do a lot of like paternity leave episodes. And I kind of want to do a Patreon series where me and Zach, Zach Cherry do a podcast called Good Doe Boys. Where we go to good restaurants. We go to, like, just nice restaurants and review them.

So look out for that. We might be doing shit like that. I like it. That and white trash lotus is pretty good. And white trash lotus, only one person lives. All the other ones got, like, all of them are OD or die. Yeah. There's a metal layer, too, of, like, that would be a good version of dough boys, like, as a podcast.

Right, right. Right. Right. So it sucks. Yeah. But that'd be funny. It is good. You guys can get away with it, too.

If we went to, if we went to fancy restaurants every week, I think we'd be hated within the first episode. I mean, we're hated doing fast food and chain restaurants. I've told you guys, you need to do better shit. And ironically, we tried and failed. Not to spoil too much, but we did kind of like, let's do a fucking awesome restaurant. And we kind of blew it. Well, I don't want to give them too much away.

We'll talk about it. But I did want to ask you about something restaurant related, which is your performance in Tony. A little movie I really enjoyed Matt Johnson's film. I mean, how much actual like chef shit were you doing in the process of making that. We were really, I'll say that it felt like I was working at the shittiest restaurant of all time. Like that's what it felt. It didn't feel like a movie because we would just do these long fucking takes where it's like, okay, it's the lunch rush and they would just yell out.

Like when Antonio Banderers is yelling, when he's reading that shit out, we're like, all right, fuck, like we're making what he's yelling out. And it would like none of us were good at it. None of us could do it. The lobster was I made looked like shit, but they fucking tasted nice. I'll tell you that much. So it was like, I felt like I was just a really bad lobster roll making guy while also, you know, being a belligerent bully to Dominic Sessa.

But it was really fun to pretend to fucking, like, truly, I'm like, I was like, this feels so right. Being like the fat curmudgeon in a kitchen, I'm like, I was watched, it was like being in a fucking, it was like inside the Stavros verse, where it's like, this is who you should be. You shouldn't be Spider-Man.

You should be some fat guy fucking, flipping burgers. Your character literally named Stavros. Matt, what a genius. Everybody's sucking off Matt Johnson. He's played Matt in every fucking movie he's ever been in. And he puts me into the thing halfway into the script. And it's like, yeah, I think Stavros is a good fucking title for this guy. Fucking dumb Canadian piece of shit.

Think of another name, dickhead. You know how fucking stupid that's going to look at my I.MD be in like ten years? It's going to look like I just didn't have a real role. It could look like played myself. I was like, Hey, Tony, these are good fucking lobster rolls. Anyway. Fuck, Matt. Doesn't make sense.

Timewise. Yeah, it doesn't at all. I wish you could go back and bully. It would be great to see you bully Anthony Bourdain. The real Bourdain. If Doc Brown could bring you back and have you both. Did you take us back? Yeah, what a use of time travel that would be to send you back in time to a bully a beloved man.

Yeah, maybe change the course of his life. Not give us any of the awesome shit he did. Yeah. I just auditioned for the sequel, Kill Tony. All right, Mitch. You're great in the movie,

and your special is great. I just watched your special. It was great. I just have you, but I haven't yet. I haven't got a chance. I've got to check it out. Oh,

well, by the time this airs, it will not help my Netflix numbers at all. Right. But, actually, no, hold on. We could, if all the doughboys listen, actually,

this is, it will be depressing for us when. It makes no difference. There isn't a second win. Netflix calls me, they're like, we're just actually going to take it off for a week. A lot of weird energy has been signing up. Yeah, no, it's, I appreciate what you're about to do, Mitch. It will make no difference whatsoever.

Tomorrow night, Friday night, watch, watch Dobby special. It's great. Watch it. Let's boost those numbers. What is it? Late October by now? This is mid-October. You mentioned Matt Johnson.

Yes. He also directed this year's, he also directed this year's Nirvana, the show, the movie, which I really enjoyed. directed Uncle Stav. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great job, too. I mean, clearly you must have a good working relationship. Yeah, he's the man.

No, Matt is so, legitimately, he would be incredible at this show. Wow. He is such a fucking fat piece of shit in his soul. Like, what we bonded over, he called me, like, to do the movie. I was in Chicago. I happened to be in Chicago. I was doing the Chicago theater. And I only had 20 minutes to talk about the, like, hey, should I, is this,

does this make sense for you to be in this movie? I didn't know he was just like, yeah, let's do it. I thought it was just like a call like, hey, we might have a part for you. And because I mentioned I was in Chicago, he talked about Chicago French dip sandwiches for 18 of the 20 minutes we had to talk about the movie. And then at the end, he's like, yeah, yeah, okay. So anyway, I think I need somebody to bully Dominic in this movie. It's not feeling funny enough.

You want to just do it? I was like, yeah, fuck yeah. That was what our conversation to get on Tony was just like him reminiscing about, because when they shot Nirvana of the band The show, they shot this whole other movie that didn't work. And they traveled across America literally. getting fat as shit. He was eating French dip. He was eating New Orleans.

And he was just telling me, like, that's, he has that. He was telling me this awesome story where one time he lost his voice and he was hanging out with his editors, Kurt and Bobby, who were fucking awesome dudes geniuses. And he had lost his voice. And as they were walking by, he saw a dessert tray,

a window with like, I don't know, it was like some tart he wanted. And they had walked past him and he couldn't speak. So he was just like, he starts tapping on the glasses. He starts going, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, he's just making monkey noises because he can't talk. That's what a fucking fat guy in his soul he is. Even though he was kind of twinkish young and now he's become kind of like a jet. He's strangely jacked. Yeah, he's buff. But he definitely has a food addiction that rivals, you know, anything on,

that we got going on here right now. You've kind of, you've kind of become a twink later in, in your later years. You were a big fat slob. I wouldn't say he's twinkish. He's got six eyes. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. I, I've, like, I've, like, I've, kind of, I've gone through phases. I mean, haven't we all sort of, you know, yo-yoed unweight in various degrees? Yeah, but the yo-yo stays real low to the ground. It goes from, like, it goes from scraping the ground to one centimeter above the ground. That's how I've yo-yoed weight-wise. Sparking on the ground. Three-fifty to 280. That's my yo-yo. I'm 5-7, by the way. That is not what a human skeleton of this size should be supporting. I mean, I was saying that yesterday.

You were like, you guys aren't fat anymore. I was like, I weigh 280 pounds. Talk to our doctors. You've been doing the show too long, Amelia. I was a plump little boy, and then I got really, really lean in my, I just like early adulthood. I was like, I'm just going to start eating right and I'm going to exercise for like the first time in my fucking line. And were you already married at that point? No, no, no. You weren't.

Yeah, this was, we got married when we were 30. We started dating in our 20s. So was this before you were dating? Were you like a single man at the time? Yeah, it's kind of that era. Because that's part of being a fat child where you're like, I'm going to beat the, I'm going to end the cycle, I'm going to lose weight, I'm going to get sucked off.

Right. And I think everybody does that. I did that sophomore year or junior year of college, and I literally got a girlfriend and immediately gained 100 pounds. Like I lost 80 pounds. Like a girl was like, I like this guy. I'm going to try and like, you know, build a relationship with him. And I was like, nice, time to stop trying.

And I just got fattish shit, completely, like, checked out of everything. This is so similar to what happened. I joined, I rode crew to lose way. But then I never, the self, the confidence never came. So I never, I never, I was always still self-conscious about it. And I never paid off in that way. Really? Were you jacked, though, at any point?

Like how. I would say I was, I wouldn't say I was jacked, but I would say I was in shape. I was doing pull-ups, which I had never done before. I did pull-up. legit at you're like you're a big you're also like tall yeah yeah if you could do a pull up at that you're probably looking nice dude I look okay I think

Mitch means the diapers you pull on Oh yeah Was that not clear? I was strong enough to be able to pull up my shit covered diapers Which usually I fill up two To the brim I need a spotter to pull up my shit filled diapers

Usually I'm going to the bathroom I'm going to the bathroom pulling down my shitty diapers them pulling them back up. You shit so much, they fall down. And you eventually got strong enough to be able to pull them back up. That's what me and Wiger think you mean by I could do pull-ups in college. Those diapers full of D.P. Doe, you could finally pull up. I love that D.P. Doe.

It was in college park as well. That's why I know about it. I love Buffer Zone was fantastic. Deepy Doe, it sounds like an M.MF threesome with the dough boys. No, no one's getting penal. Just stomachs in front of butt cheeks. You mentioned also Antonio Banderas, like just an all-time movie star. You were texting me about how you were, just how beautiful you was while you were shooting the movie. He was incredible.

He was incredibly striking. And the best hang truly was like an ambassador, like cool with everybody. like that's the other thing there were a lot of stars in this movie I think like Dominic S's this kid the kid is unbelievable He's great And then Leo and Amelia

Who are both in this movie Amelia Jones and Leo Woodall Are like insane young actors They're so fucking talented I told you Leo Woodall does it great Boston accent He does a really good Boston accent And both those little British pieces of shit

Here's how talented they are They're incredible actors They're all the entire time Just like oh so perhaps we'll hang out late And then like immediately action And it's like, what are we freaking doing? You know, that's Peter Griffin, but he did a good job. And it was like they're instantly going in and out of their voice.

They're not like method. They don't have to stay in it. And they were nailing it just. It's so funny how much more talented real actors are than comedians they allow in movies. But yeah, and everybody just, we literally, we were out of a, it was a real restaurant. I did want Peter Griffin to be in the movie. I was kind of sad. He didn't show up.

Hey, Tony. What's going to get some. I think there's hot girls down at the beach. I don't know if I feel like doing that, Peter. I feel like writing on a typewriter instead of getting pussy. Well, I'm on board. Giggedy, giggy, giggy, giggy, giggy. Crag buyers there.

Yeah, of course he is. Yeah, like, it's Leo Woodall is in, is also in Tuna, which came out this year, which I can't wait to see Tuna. Yeah, great, great little, yeah, great little cable movie. He's a, he's a, he's a, he's a, he gets five. by his uncle in White Lotus. Spoiler alert. I don't know if you...

How about that? I don't know if it is his uncle. I don't think so. They're pulling a scam. I think you have very low media literacy and you do this for a living. You're like, so did the guy...

Did he actually fuck that guy? So was this cock in his ass while they shot that? Because I wouldn't do nothing like that. And I want to be in White Lotus, but don't put my uncle's cock in my ass. Mr. White, thank you for the audition. I just want to do some...

Say something up front. I will not put my uncle's... digging my ass to be in this movie. Uncle Bill and Uncle Jim, we're just friends. What's up Uncle Bill and Uncle Jim? I love you both. But you friends own them, dude. You think Uncle Jim's like, oh, man, he's trying to hook up on Thanksgiving.

I got to say, both of them, not blood-related. So you're leaving the dork crack. So it says we're already a movie territory. like Odyssey's been a tough ticket. You finally saw the Odyssey. Uh-oh. Don't get me started, Weiger. Yeah. I will say this. I think I have to collect my thoughts, but what I ended on more than anything, and it's something I think we are going to agree on, is that Christopher Nolan is not horny enough to truly understand the Greek mind. No, I feel agree. That is the problem. He just, he's an incredible director, but he does not get being horny. And Greek mythology is literally mostly.

about cheating on your wife. That's most of like, Helen of Troy is created because Zeus fucked a swan, he thought was beautiful. That's how horny the good gods were, right? And they're all cheating. Like literally, the main gods of the Greek pantheon, Zeus and Hera, is as, like, it is a 90-stand-up comic. Like, my fucking wife won't suck my dick anymore. So I got to go to Earth disguised as a swan to get pussy. Like, that's literally our God is a guy who cheats on his.

wife. That's ancient, and I will say, and it's beautiful. And Odysseus so horny, he fucks all across that, like, the actual, you know, the, the oral poem. None of that was in the movie. Yeah, memory serves. He, like, he fuck Searcy and, like, has a family with Searcy, right? Yes. So here's the thing I, the funny thing about the Odyssey, yeah, is that the book is that, because I was, I couldn't wait to reread it. Because I, as a kid, like, I told you guys

this, as a Greek, I'm so, it's like, hilaracy on the nose. But literally, Greek mythology was like what I had, instead of comic books, it felt like what those felt like my, I loved Greek mythology. I had like a baby version of the Odyssey, a little kid version of the Odyssey, the, you know, the Iliad, all that stuff.

And even like a graphic novel of it. I asked to borrow the baby version of the Odyssey. I'm just getting back into reading. And so and yeah, so basically he's, he's gone for 10 years, right?

That's the Odyssey. Seven of those years, he is Circe's like personal fuck tool, basically. And he, and he's just there. And he doesn't, in the, in the, in the oral tradition, he's not, like, tricked with Lotus. That shit's fake.

She's just kind of there like, oh, nice. Now I just get to fuck you for her. And he, like, he cries about it. But every day he's like at the, like, the Odyssey, I think we're introduced to Odysseus in, in the, like, tradition. We see him like literally crying at the edge of the beach after fucking Circe all night long or whatever.

Yeah. Which is very, it's so funny that eight of the 10 years he's away, he's fucking a goddess. Yeah. And it's like, really, this is what we should feel bad about it for? It's like most of the, most of the stuff happened in like a six month, which sounds like a tough six months, the cyclops, all that stuff. But anyway, yes. It is a tough six months to give credit. Not only Circe, but also the, um, the, I think we're getting, no, no, we're getting confused. Calypso is the one he's with for seven years, eight years. But he does fuck Searcy too, actually.

He dignitizes Searcy to turn his boys back into pigs. It's not just like, hey, I'm going to hold your bird sister hostage. That's bullshit. He fucks her so good, she unpigs his boys. And that, to lose that from Odysseus' story. I will never let any woman unpig my boys. I'm going to stay in pigs. Yeah, if Mitch has to dick for your survival, you're...

That's a tough champion to enter into the arena. Imagine we're just in the pen like, all right, nice. Mitch is about the fucker. And he's like, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. A few minutes later, I come up as a pig. Sorry, guys. I mean, I would love to be.

It would actually be a, we'd have a lot of fun as pigs. Also, me as a talking pig, just be like, don't turn me back. I'm what I should be. Don't eat me. And keep the acorns flowing, but don't turn me back. I love the idea of you just getting cast and movies to come and bully people. You should have been bullying people in the Odyssey. I love that.

It maybe needed a bully to set things right. Yeah. There is some bullying. That's the other thing. It's like, yeah, obviously I would have loved to be in the audience. Well, yeah. It was, I don't want to, this has been tough, but I can't admit it now. It was between me and Tom Holland for.

Oh, boy. It was like the last two, and I judge. I had a really good old. So maybe that's what this is sour grapes. Yeah, yeah, right. You caught me. I'm just mad. I lost on the last round.

It was me and Tom Holland. You went to a 7 a.m. screening of it, by the way. 7 a.m. screening because I am on East Coast time. I'm flying home tomorrow at 7. So I just wanted to be like, let me set my alarm as if it's 8 a.m. East Coast. And honestly, incredible experience.

7 a.m. I like the move. At Grawman's, like the Chinese theater. What a crowd. It was awesome. A lot of guys in. No boys' D-shirts. There was truly like 14 people there.

It was a great experience, but it did make me mad for, again, for Greek, horny reasons, mainly. I have a bunch of other things, whatever, but I literally am like, I need to watch, I need to think about this more. And I waited to see it. It's hilarious to people like, what the fuck he hasn't seen it, but I shot my special on July. The weekend it came out. And I've just kind of been working the whole time, unfortunately. So this was my first chance. But anyway, you know.

I got to say this. Zeus, a lot like storm. Have you noticed that? Similar powers. Similar powers. I don't know which one was created first. What about Santa Barbara could be a Greek, a minor Greek goddess? I love that.

Because that's another cool thing about the Odyssey alien, all that kind of stuff, is that they really do go into the minor gods and shit. And like somebody's like, you know, like the witch. She could be a witch even. Maybe she's friends with Circe. I love that. Maybe she's friends with Calypso. Who knows?

But, yeah. I was saying that he should do some sort of drunk history rebuttal on this whole thing, because I think that you, you want... I was pretty fired up. You went off on it for like 45 minutes yesterday, and you were telling me about the C people and all this stuff. I did not even know. I can't, I really... Listen, Mitch, this has to come out in a real way. I think I'm...

This might put me into film criticism. I might write an academic paper about this. I love it. I want it, because I would like to try and use my brain again. I don't think I've done that for the last five years, and it would be nice to, like, try and, like, think. critically instead of just riff and don't give a fuck about anything I say. This was in between you getting in a yell fight with the Patriots fan. I did tell a Patriots fan to shut the fuck up in a crowded bar this morning.

That Latin, on football Sunday, yes. And I should stop behaving that way. But the guy was a piece of shit. The Ravens had just lost. We collapsed. Fourth quarter collapsed. And he's a little Boston piece of shit who's like, the Boston had just beat the Steelers, which you gave, that was good at least.

I was really, it was the rare time I was rooting for the Patriots because I wanted the Steelers to, now, if somebody could have gotten injured, that would have been, you know what I mean? Like something bad could happen while you won, that would have been great. They did. There wasn't injurious. You're right. Good point.

So yeah, that's good. That's good at least. But anyway, this little, this piece of shit's like, yeah, the raven and the Ravens lost, ha ha, ha, nice. And I was just like, shut the fuck. And I shouldn't have said it. But I was just like, shut the fuck up. Just a guy, I don't know.

And then the guy at his table. because I told that guy to shut the fuck up and then and then he tries to be friend like kind of bust balls back and I was like no fuck I was like fuck you and I was like go away I don't want to talk to you anymore I was I was acting like a toddler it was I mean you shouldn't you shouldn't you shouldn't gloat about a team losing but also I'm at a fucking sports bar right I was the piece of shit I'm also drunk and high it's fucking 10 a.m. or whatever or like 12 you know what I mean like I'm completely out of pocket here but anyway yes but because I did it's that because I told that guy to fuck off.

The guy with him is some other Boston idiot. And he's like... Turns around and says Mike Mitchell, your mom was my English teacher. There's a guy at the table. He was just fighting. Yes, right. I told his friend

to shut the fuck up and suck my dick. And the guy's like, oh, your mom was my English teacher. And it was just... And then this fucking guy wouldn't shut the fuck. The guy was wouldn't stop talking to Mitch and I was like all right

they're gonna catch up for a while me and Gabers were there Amelia was also there we had a nice little Sunday and we're like all right I don't want to fucking over here this guy talked to Mitch about his mom teaching him

we're gonna go to this dispensary down the block buy some joints whatever and we'll come back me and Gabor's go buy edibles buy weed smoke a joint come back

that guy's still talking to him not only this he's so drunk he introduces himself to us the guys that were there when he started the conversation. He's like, this guy's my mom's. And not only that, he introduced ourselves and he's like, hey, aren't you on tires? So now it's on me.

Now I have to talk to this fucking guy. But anyway, me and Gabris were much quicker with the please get off our dick signals than Mitch was. And so we did get out of that pretty fast. And he did a much better job than Amelia who was actively rolling her eyes. Amelia was just silently being like, he was a nice guy. we're going to talk we're going to hang out he's a

yeah yeah yeah this is the thing about though because like people who sometimes see you being a little ordinary on the podcast don't realize that you are such a nice guy in the world gentle soul truly the nice guy all the time and so if someone comes up to talk to you you're giving them you know more time frankly than they deserve

a lot of the time I've been angry this I've been a little angry this year but uh but uh you know oh you do you know you know he can't see the fucking half of it motherfucker This thing is, this thing is, I already have a huge head. This head is, all right, I'm gonna keep it on. You look awesome, yeah. For audio listeners, basically, it's, Mitch has a, like a bobblehead sized, it's like a lollipop on his head of the count from Sesame Street.

And his face, his big fat face is coming out of the head. Big fat face. Well, you know what I mean? With his fucking round, bulbous, red nose is coming out of it. His patchy, shitty, shitty beard is coming out of the big red, round face. The mouth is open.

I mean, your face is not a small face. Yeah, no shit, motherfucker. You think I'm like, oh my God, my face, I know that my face is fucking huge. I will say, Mitch popped the shirt off. We hit the pool a little bit yesterday.

He was looking nice. Yeah, Mitt's. Titties were looking small. You were always looking. You look good and also you just have that energy that you were, he was a Greek god by the pool there. Thank you, thank. I love being by the water. Yeah.

No matter how fat I've been, I've never been shy about getting my tits out by the water, no problem. I went swimming. We tried to get meals. You tried to, we try to get you a bathing suit, but it didn't work out. Yeah, I didn't bring a bathing suit. I had to go get one. Yeah. The shop was closed because they were doing yoga on the roof.

They were doing rooftop yoga. And it did feel inappropriate for your boss to be like, let me buy a bathing suit. And it was a very rebate. and Bailey looked at it. And it was like, me and Amelia looked at it. And it was like $100 or $150. And we were like, ah, the combination of Bush out and $150, maybe we passed. And then she ran it by her boss and all of a sudden he's like, oh, we were having a good time. And she'd go buy it. Oh, this one. I like this one. They got anything smaller. You get something smaller for my employee so that I could see a whole pussy, please.

Jesus. That was not what Mitch was saying. In fact, Mitch hadn't seen the swimsuit. He was actually just trying to, he was a, let's get the party going guy. I think if he saw this, I actually would have loved to see Mitch react. Realize what he was egging Amelia on the guy. That would have been actually an incredible moment because it would have, I know it would have made him like more uncomfortable than anything he's ever experienced in his life. It was like two little triangles and a little like skimpy little.

Yeah, it was hilarious. You settled on that. It was the only one. That was the only one they had. It was weird. It was like, yeah. It was like, it was. You stopped at, you stopped at a store on the way there, too.

Yes. A gay store. Yes. You kept calling it a gay store. She kept saying I stopped at the gay store. We're like, I don't think it's called the gay store. It was. It might have been.

It's just poppers and speedos. That's the only thing they carry. Actually, yeah, they only had to. Hey, listen, I stay in West Hollywood. Every time I'm here, I know what they got. There was a speedo for me, but then we, and I was like, just put it on the doughboys car. You aren't there, right, fair. But it didn't happen.

I was the only one who swam. It's true. And it was chilly. It was chilly in that pool. I swam this morning. I was swimming this morning. I swam this morning. I hit the pool in the mornings.

I love to do this thing where I get, you know, I get a nice hotel when I'm in town. And it's always like foreign families on their big L.A. vacation. There are jet lag. They're the ones early at the pool. It's always just me and like a German family or like, you know, uh, you know, some family from like Saudi Arabia or some shit. And they're so pumped to be at the, I'm in West Hollywood,

you know, whatever. And they're like taking pictures and shit and I'm swimming laps. I'm just in there. Thad is shit splashing all over their shit, completely ruining their tranquil morning. So that I get my 11 minutes of low intensity cardio that my PT says I need or I'll die.

But I just, I have ruined so many, like, beautiful mornings for people on, like, a romantic L.A. vacation, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, you look great, and you look great up on the, you know, look, there's not, I don't, every big guy up on the, I'm not thrilled to see every big guy up on the super stream. There's some big guys. I'm like, get them the fuck out of here. Some we must destroy. Some must be destroyed, but I love seeing Stav up there. For Fat House to thrive, we do have enemies, we must vanquish. There are a few that have to be destroyed. And that's fun. It's fun to Have, like, enemies you try to, you know.

I think it makes life more exciting when you're talking about people you want to destroy. Absolutely. You need to have impressive enemies. Yeah. But it's fun to see you up on a silver screen. Thank you, brother. Kind of an anti-draq term is a silver screen. It kind of keeps Drax away from...

Silver? What are you talking about? I thought Dracula's don't like silver either. Can we look that up? No, they're cool with silver. I think about silver bullets for were were wolves, but I don't know if there's a... I think Dracs don't like... Is that true?

I believe you're wrong. Fuck. Maybe, I mean, look, all these rules are obviously not real and fake, and different adaptations switch shit up. So there might be one where a silver bullet kills a Dracula, but no, I think generally speaking, it's garlic. Garlic, steak, wooden steaks, that kind of shit. Crucifix, Holy Water.

Which is, it's good because I feel like a midnight matinee for Dracula's. It's like going to an early, it's like going to the Odyssey. It's an early morning movie in a way. And interview with a vampire. Brad Pitt's character finally sees a sunrise when he goes to the movies. That's right, yes. In some cultures, Silver does weaken vampires.

Well, well, well, motherfuckers. Which cultures? What's the source on that? Yeah. Wikipedia. Oh, all right. Does it have any specific cultures? Does it name any specific sources or where that happens?

Shut the fuck up. Just listen to Wikipedia for once. Quincy, Massachusetts. One guy in Queens, two guys. Well, let me ask this. It is very interesting because vampires are very like the crucifix. all this shit. What about fucking vampires before Jesus was born? It's a great question.

Was there fucking like caveman vampires? Give me some shit like that. Cave man vampires is great. That's a great idea. Yeah, because I wonder what the religious... I have to... I kind of just think that it's just because it's in the Western canon we settled on Christian insignia. Perhaps any sort of religious symbol could vanquish them, but I don't fucking know.

Right. Well, I do think there's a time where in mass culture, the Bible, was like the only story people knew. You know what I mean? It's like it was like everyone quoted the Bible because like that's the only fucking book they had some guy read to them. Yeah, yeah.

So probably when you found out about cool vampires and you're like who has to be the bad guy and the vampire story, you go to Jesus. That's your number one guy. Yes. Or good guy, I suppose. The bad guy's the vampire. Yeah, at the beginning of when, when,

so vampires probably started when Jesus was around. Oh, shit. It probably started at the same time. or close to it. The oral tradition of vampires, you mean they actually started existing to fight Christ? You think Satan had to start forming vampires

because God, Jesus was too good with a... Jesus was too good, I think the devil made some sort of... The devil made vampires after Jesus was resurrected. She was like, fuck, we need to reload. We need to go to hit the free agency.

This guy's open. Yeah. That's what I think is. We need a hard counter. By the way, at a movie, you know how vampires go to the movie? Yeah. You know the popcorn trick?

Yeah. You know the popcorn trick? Of course. You put your cock in the bottom of a popcorn. Yeah. One of America's favorite tricks, quote, unquote. With vampires, it's a, they put, it's a neck at the bottom of the, uh. It's a neck.

What are you saying? You put your dick in a neck? What? I was thinking a cleaner thing, Mitch. I don't mean to put, but Amelia seems to be the only person who understands is. What's your interpreter? Because you bite someone's neck. Right.

Right. So that's what a vampire is attracted to a neck as opposed to genitals, right? No, I think he thinks the neck is the popcorn bucket. Is that right? No, no, no, though. The neck is at the bottom of the popcorn bucket. Instead of someone's dick. Instead of someone's dick.

But wait, wait, you jerk off the neck? No, never mind. Oh, wait, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, because the vampire. I mean, I suppose you could suck it too. I mean, I would say, what about? How about this? Hold on.

Face down and someone else's laugh with a bucket of popcorn in it? I guess it's a person who wants to be turned. It's a person who's on a date with Dracula that wants to be turned. And then when Dracula gets to the bottom, it's like, oh, it's a neck. Oh, they're putting their neck in it. They're putting their neck at the bottom of it. Oh, I see. It made tons of sense.

I would, if I was a Dracula. Amelia liked it. She did. I don't think she liked it for the same reason. That's fine. We can keep moving. I would say if I was a Dracula, I would put my cock. in a bag of blood.

That's good. That's the trick. You know? That's the movie, the version of the movie trick. Would it feel good if a vampire, if you're a vampire and your dick is hard? Yeah.

Would it feel good for another vampire to suck the blood out of your dick? But then you would lose your erection. But what if it just kept, feel like you kept nutting? That is, and then you maybe would get more horny as it goes on. Do vampires still have jizz?

That's a great question. That's a great question. They have blood, but do they have it running through their veins or is it just in their stomach? My energy, Emily, can you Google that as well? Do vampires have jizz? Check that out.

In some interpretations, like, they don't, like, eat or drink, really. It's just all, they're sustained fully by blood. In fact, in a lot of times, if they, like, for what we do in the shadows, if they eat, they start throwing up. Right. So what if you get a little pussy juice, if you eat, because they're horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what if you're sucking, dig, eating pussy and you get a little juice, would that make you sick? That's me.

Life Force. That also invites the question of, like, is the do vampires, please pussy juice? Do they Like do they like I mean like If a girl is like Are they Do they sweat?

If a woman is like It's that time of the month And then Dracula's like Perfect time Yeah If you're a vampire That's awesome That's got to be

If you're a vampire That's got to be awesome It's not Let's be very clear I don't think it's that cool I don't really want to drink You know Right

Blood personally Yes But again I'm Van Helsing So I actually don't think This stuff is cool I think it's Also by the way

Why are you going After us so hard There's other monsters And they're You know, I feel he's got He's kind of got his beat is the thing. He's got to get his thing he specializes in. Van Helsing, the movie, though, is him branching out.

He's not just going after drag. I haven't watched it in a while. Yeah, you know, because he goes after the fucking Wolfman and the Frankenstein as well. That's right. That's right. Go get Netanyahu. You think Van Helsing should kill Nettenya? Yeah, why not?

I guess. I guess so steak through his heart would kill him, too. Well, we'll leave that to Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara's electrical. We'll leave that to other anti-Semites like, Miss Rachel. And Mark Ruffalo, I can't imagine anyone more anti-Semitic than two nice people saying something obviously wrong is wrong. Do you know Vampire's favorite movie snackwax? What's that?

Red Vines. That's pretty good. I've taken off my I've taken off my hysterian elf ears. These are some like rubbery sort of things. They're really uncomfortable. And also, tell us about this guy. That was like a joke from a kid's book. I suck.

I like it. No, no. It's that, okay, if we need to discuss it further, it's that red, I'm with you. Right? Fine. Mine feels like a bit of a... Red is barely connected because blood is technically red, I guess. Yeah, red is blood.

I got an alt for you. Okay. Red veins. That's actually, that's it. That's it. Yeah. That is it. Not funny, but...

Yeah. Or an attempt. What you're saying mine was funny No, that's how much He said yours was so bad punching it up doesn't make it funny My character By the way Matt Johnson

You are welcome on the show We should say that you were welcome to come on the show Also Quincy guy You were also welcome to come on the show A two-hander with Matt Johnson and Quincy guy I would love to see that This character from Baldersgate Iserian is an elf

High Elf, thus the ears, but he's also a vampire, but he has been turned, but his powers are nerved because he's under the thrall of Casador, who's like kind of his master. Cassador is the main vampire? He's the main vampire, and he's the fucking bad vampire you're going after in the game. But anyway, I took the elf ears off, and then it was reminded that when we, Mitch, we were on tour and we were in, was it Newark? We did a show in Newark, right? We did a show in Newark. And then, and then. Cherry homecoming.

Zach Cherry was there was our guest. And then weirdly at the same time, there was an orchestra playing in the same venue, Naruto Live. And so the orchestra musicians who are all French-Canadian and the Do-Boys team converged in the parking lot. Wow. And they were coming up to me and being like,

you have elf ears. But I'm saying French-Canadian accent, I can't do that my ears are kind of naturally pointies. You can see if I take this wig off. They are. Yeah, it's weird. Do you ever think about, you know, kind of leaning into that, becoming an elf, femme boy type of thing? I think it could be a good second act for me.

Why not? Wearing leggings and shit like that. No, I guess I could probably surgically get them even pointier. But I think that would be required in order for it to really read. I mean, the way you're going with tattoos, I don't even like this idea going into your head. I'm not going to do it. I don't know. I like it.

I think you should do it. I don't need him to be body modded. I think he needs to, I think that's really funny if Waggreens. starts getting to body mods. I think that's really awesome. You just randomly get the surgery and make you taller. You just get, you're not short. If one episode Yers just taller, then just needlessly.

I'm six one. You become six three. It's not even that month. But you're like fucking laying down for eight months. You can't walk for eight months. You get fat as shit. You get fat as fuck. Get a BBL.

You can six four with elf ears. I like that. Yeah, no. Cock shortening. You give me in Michigan. couple inches. Yeah. By the way, is there a way?

Can a doctor put aside a few inches from him? I think they should be able to, especially, like, it's got to be so frustrating. Imagine being a trans guy and girl friend group, and one is going to get rid of their delicious hog, and you can't just give it to your friend? Right. That seems so fucked up. Yeah, yeah. You should be able to chop, you know what I mean?

And, like, and hand tits over and do this kind of thing. And we could do, we want to go M to M transition with some of your cop. Me and Mitch want to use a little bit of your cock to go M to M. That would be really funny if you're like, I want to live the rest of my life. Tall, fat ass, Elfier's little ass dick. That would be sick, dude. That would be so fucking awesome. And I'll happily give my tits to anyone who wants them.

If anyone wants to tits. You don't have great titties. I know. They're a little flat. I know. They are not good titties. That is a thing I will say that like I liked my tits and my ass more when I had more poundage. That's where I lost weight immediately.

And the last place I lose weight is like around the midsection and specifically the love handles. So even though I'm slimmer, I'm like I feel like my body is less aesthetically pleasing. You know what I mean? I'm picturing you filling out that white blouse with this big old Wiger tities. The way they used to look. Give me some of those Mountain Dew Code Red tits. Wigar, when he used to do the show, he'd have his pen in between his tits. If you listen to early episodes, you could just be able to go, oh.

staring at Wagers' tits. I think I've told the story not here before, but there was a kid in my high school who had awesome tits. Like he was fat. He was like this little cat kid. And they were round and shapely. And a classic move he would do

is like send, like people would send around videos of like zoomed in tits. And then it would just be like it would zoom out and it would just be our friend with his goatee and like braids. And we're like, whoa, that's, I won't say his name, but like, well, oh man. I got horny for Jeff's tits.

You know what I mean? Might as well keep going. Well, I'm already here. I'm already beating my shit. Viewer, I was going to say, I didn't comment on it, but you in the Knicks. As of Van Helsing, it does look like you're like a Celtics slayer. I actually hate it so much. And I'd love to kill you.

You did. Fuck the Celtics. That's true. You really did. You destroyed the Celtics in many ways. So awesome. What a run. What a playoff run.

But anyway. The season is starting now. It is. It is. What do you think? You have a chance of a repeat? I think so. I think it's a weird year.

It is. The Pacers can suck my dick. Fuck Halliburton. They're not going to storm back and get right back to it. The East is a little... I'm trying to think... I think the Celtics are still going to be good, but... No, they're going to be dog shit.

Philly... Philly is a little worrisome, obviously. Like, they're the fucking super... The monsters. It's too much. It's too much going on there. Yeah, real too much. Real smart move, by the way,

trading a fucking awesome player for fucking Paul George. You guys are... It's so funny how fucked you are. And how much the Patriots suck dick, too, by the way? I want to say, I want to give you guys a tip. Before we talk about food, I want to tip my cap because now Mitch, you, your football owner, not only deals in sex trafficked masseuses, he also comes in and gives money directly to the IDF and says McElmore can't say free Palestine.

So I want to give you, I want to tip my cap to you. And Wigr, of course, congratulate you on the, on the Kushner fan. family now owning the Lakers. Both of our teams are... Truly the most evil fucking guys. And the guy who owns the Dodgers is only bought it using like insurance. Yeah.

People's fucking... Also on the Lakers for about 18 months. And yeah, he seems to his... He seems like a big fucking Bernie Madoff with just insurance money. I'm just going to say this too. Macklemore is unbanned from the doughboys. So you can come back on the doughboys now.

Do you think there was one guy who took it too far? He was like, and you know what? I always think McElmore should have beat Kendrick for that Grammy. One guy is just holding on to that take and he's like, all right, if it's not this week, I don't know when. I mean, this is obviously dating the podcast, whatever. Fuck the boy boys. Just blasting. Just blasting that track about not being gay.

Fucking real music. Ed Chereen, your band. Ed Chereen. You gave him a hot girl's name as his last name. What is it, Shearant? Ed Shereen is awesome That's pretty good Ed Shereen fuck you

I'm gonna call you Shireen you piece of shit I've never liked I've never have liked Robert Kraft So I'm not He's a piece of shit That's the thing about sports Of course There's these fucking

No listen stop stop stop Yeah It's true We say that about fast food all the time Yeah You two literally have the most Cartoonishly evil owners possible It's really funny

They're the worst ones right now You're talking about Jake and Amir? Oh It's just like and also they've completely overvalue like the Lakers might cause a bubble on sports Right it's so funny A Kushner brother who owns your favorite boyhood team might also destroy the fabric of American sports It's really funny yeah Don't forget don't forget Bob Iker

You're right yeah yeah You're right I heard you Well there's a couple things I want to get you here but I heard you were you were kind of spouting some No Boys Gospel on Poplari's Podcasts, and it warmed my heart, wags. It was, he was going off on the spicy chicken sandwich. I was. Which I absolutely loved to hear.

And you were inciting the masses. People were getting mad. Hell yeah. I think this is a really good populist message of like, no, everything in your life is worse. Let's start with the stuff that we can just see straight up. And honestly, fast food and sports, I think, are two really good ones. So, yeah, I was inciting the masses. and if that's the close I've been like, you know what, maybe I, I can get it to politics if it's all has to do with specific sandwiches from specific fast food restaurants.

I'm a one-issue party. I'm going to get fast food sandwiches fucking good. You made a good point because we were very worried about Jersey Mike's being bought, but Jersey Mike's decline hasn't hit so hard yet. Oh, it's coming. It's started. It's on it. It's already started, though. You guys admit that.

It's shittier. It's definitely shirder than it's two years. so bad. And Wendy's is just, I don't even go anymore. They fucked up so bad. And they're bringing back the fucking yellow packaging and it's like too little too late. I know. It's like, don't fucking. And also the food is going to taste like shit. It doesn't matter. You know what I mean? It's not, it sucks. Yeah. And it feels like with sports as well, it's like the commonality is this, this, this, this min-max hyper-optimization of just like everything becoming as efficient as possible to the point where it's just like the actual

product suffers because they're like, well, this is a thing we can cheap out of and still be making the same amount of money. Yeah. It's a, yeah, it's a real frustrating time to be a consumer. Because also, like, you just want your fucking chicken sandwich after you work at your shitty job. You just want to like, you just want to enjoy that. Life sucks, dick. Can I have one good food?

The food is also going to kill me, by the way. Right. This is not good for me. No. And like my drug sucks? Yeah. Like, they've stepped on the package is really the problem. Yeah.

They've stepped on the fucking crack we're all smoking. Yeah. It's pissing me off. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's bad. And I got the spicy chicken from Wendy's. It sucks.

It would just be nice if businesses worked like because you love sandwiches, you sell sandwiches. Yeah. And that's kind of how shit used to be. You're really good at something and you start a business. And now it's like we're so far away from that. And you want to give people a good ass sandwich because you take pride in that. And now it's like some dickhead in a suit that has nothing to do with it that has never had. Probably a lot of those guys have never had a spicy chicken sandwich.

So many of them never eating the fucking sandwich. I mean, you can tell when they do the videos where they're eating it for the first time. And you can see the surprise in their eyes as they bite into it, which is the best version of the sandwich they will ever make. Of course. In a test kitchen and all that shit. Yeah. Yeah, I always love looking at like that actual list of holdings of a company like, you know, I forget if it's Blackstone or Black Rock Capital, whichever, whichever fucking or Rourke enterprises, one named after an iron protagonist. And just seeing that they've got like, they own these fast food restaurants, but they,

They also own like, you know, like massage chains and like gyms and then like gas stations. It's like they're so diversified that how could they possibly have comprehensive knowledge of all these different industries? Of course. And no wonder the product suffers. Yeah, it sucks. It's a fucking awful. You should have to love the thing you fucking do, I think, like the thing you make, you should have to actually care about it and care about the consumer's experience. And that is like such an idea from like, you know, a hundred years ago.

whatever now, you know. It's the Dave Thomas's of the world who were, you know, they were business of him, but also did care a little bit. We got to nominate another Italian to take these people out, and I think I know just the one. Right here. It's Amelia. Amelia. We'll kill some of these fuckers, Amelia. Where's my sniper rifle?

I'm going to the G-12 summit. I would like a room with a balcony across a from of the G-12 summit Think about the numbers it would do for us I look there's I want to say two things One yes Dracula's love blood they eat raw meat That's true Stav and I had a very great raw dinner this week

We did okay We went to Mori Hero Lags Wow Who was an apprentice under Yiro who dreams of sushi as you know. And we had a great meal there. A really nice little meal. Yeah.

All right. Me talking about that makes it, okay, that we use the Do Boy's credit card on that meal. Signed off. Yep, perfect. No, I'm kidding. We did not use it. But it was a fantastic meal if you ever get over there. We were saying, you brought up a great point yesterday, and I wanted to bring it up.

Sushi can be so, there was like, we had tuna and it was so good that it almost didn't taste like anything at all. This is a place that like the rice, they put the soy sauce and the wasabi on the rice for you. Like you don't even dip it in soy sauce. And then it's like this perfect cut of tuna. And it was such good fish that you almost don't taste it, which you were saying maybe not a good, like you kind of want to taste a little something. I just think sometimes, I don't know if you feel this way, like I am just such a piece of shit that a certain level of craftsmanship is lost on me. You know what I mean? It's like I, and I had a great time.

And I really would like as a special occasion going to a very fancy omacase is a good move. I think it's like to celebrate something, whatever. And to like be adventurous, right? Probably better with like a woman that you care about and love than you're also fat friend on on a whim. You know what I mean? I thought it was pretty good. I know. We have to actually retrain our brains.

We have to retrain our brains to stop thinking it's acceptable to go on $200 omicasse dates with your friend instead of, you know, with the women in our lives. You know what? Like this... I told me, I thought that my heart raced the other day. Yeah. So I was happy to get some fish. Of course. I thought it was doing a pretty good thing. No, no, it was great.

It was fucking incredible. I'm just, I just mean like, no, and I had a blast, obviously. And the food was good as fuck. But yeah, I'm like, I'm dumb. I get good food, but there is a level where it's like... Like, you know how it's like certain birds can see like a thousand colors or whatever the fuck? Or certain things can see. Sometimes I feel like with food.

It's like, I can see this amount of colors and like a fucking real three-star Michelin. That's more, I'm, it's like showing a fucking dog the rainbow. I don't fucking know the difference. It all looks blue, red, and whatever to me. You know what I mean? Sorry, Jimmy.

Sorry, you'll never know turquoise, Jimmy. And that's how I feel about certain flavors. Sure. And so it was great and I will do it probably, you know, I'll definitely go back. But sometimes I feel like really going ham on like a above average sushi restaurant where you can just crush the rolls you know

and the like, you know. You were saying the dipping, I was missing the dipping into the soy sauce. I know I'm trashed for that, but I fucking love it. No, I told, I mean, I do like the Omikasa experience

where everything is really curated for me, but yeah, there is just part of ritualization of like I got that a little bit of ginger. I'm mixing up the fucking wasabi with the soy sauce. Yeah, I like doing all that shit.

They did put a ball of ginger in front of me and stop and we almost did eat it accidentally at the start of the meal. We had no, we thought it was the first course. And it was ball of ginger. Yeah,

I will say having someone forced us to wait to eat our food was really good for me and Mitch. It was. It was like, we're like, whoa, we're full halfway through this meal. Should we take time between bites for other meals as well? The answer is no, we'll never do that, but yeah. I didn't think the guy had to spray us with his water bottle

though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a little extreme. Well, we asked for, we saved a little money because we did it SeaWorld style where we took our shirts off and started clapping and they just threw scraps at us. You can add on. the Sea World Omacase

dessert if you're not full enough. And they just throw fish heads and scraps at you. When we went and got sushi in Japan, it was like, it was like a 20-course omicasse. It was fucking insane. It was so much food. It was unbelievable.

The best sushi meal I ever had. And then at the end, we finished eating all this food. We're full as fuck. The chef comes out and he's got his arms full of like eight more fish. And he's like, all right, I get these extra ones. You want any more?

And I'm just like out of pure obligation. I'm like, I guess I'll get a few of these because I kind of have to do it. But it was wild. what an indulgence it was, but then I also tracked the duration of the meal, and we were there for like a full three hours. That's awesome, though. Yeah, it's kind of fun to linger in it.

Totally. And I would, and I will say, like, having, it is the kind of thing where everything I'm saying about sushi does not, if I'm in Japan, I'll have it all the time. Like, I've been to Japan a couple times, and yes, it just is so much better. It's crazy. Of course it is, but like, I would, I'll crush every level of sushi in Japan, but, you know. I know that you just say we're saying that you shouldn't do any more fat friend. I'm like, let's do it.

We take a trip. We take a trip to get Omicaste. I mean, Mitch, obviously, I'm going, I'm not changing the way I think. I'm not growing up and we will be getting more $400 meals together for no reason. In fact, we might do it. I don't know what the fuck you're doing after this, but I got a window. Oh, that's right. You guys are on Theskegonne mode.

I won't be able to change before acting class. So I hope you're going to count to 100 as your monologue this week. Hey, buddy, are you tired of waking up hungover and bloated after your post-work drink? Now you can have fun and relax without the regrets, thanks to Willie's THC-infused social tonic. Willis is an alcohol alternative that actually works. Willis delivers an uplifting, euphoric buzz in about 15 minutes, leaving you relaxed without negative side effects, buddy. Yeah, buddy. Willys is a premium THC-infused social tonic crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson. And if there's anyone I trust to have the best cannabis, it's Willie. That's right, Wig's inspired by Willie's way of living where peace flows freely and hangovers are a thing of the past. Only 15 calories and 3 grams of sugar. All of the fun, none of the regret. Comes in 5 milligram doses and 10 milligram doses with a delicious blend of passion fruit, lemon, and lime. Enjoy as a shot over ice or mix. into your favorite moktail.

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Visit betterhelp.com slash doughboys to explore your payment options. That's betterh-elp.com slash doughboys. Do it. We spent more than $400 at this week's restaurant. And wise, we had a three-hour meal as well. We had a lengthy excursion. It was a great time. I had a great time at STK, which we were covering for direct Dober Fang. Founded in 2004 in Manhattan by Jonathan Siegel, parent company, the one group also owns Benny Hanna and some other concepts. 33 locations, went public in 2013, traded on the NASDAQ. This is, I think, what's central to SDK's identity. The restaurant's slogan is not your daddy's steakhouse.

And I have this quote from founder Jonathan Siegel. Yeah. Jonathan Siegel in the Chicago Tribune in 2015, quote, we're not a club, but we have a DJ. Our market is a little more mature. A lot of 30-somethings who don't want to be forced in a bottle service or be told by an 18-year-old doorman that they can't come in. They have dinner to SDK and the bar scene is good. The music is great. They have a table and everyone says, why are we going anywhere?

Let's just stay here and have a few more drinks. Built into the initial concept into its DNA is we want to replicate a nightclub experience. And that's very much what it feels like. That's really interesting to me because I think I just, because I was like, let's go to this one because I thought I had eaten it on the road. Because one move that I do a lot on the road is steakhouses because it's like, you. can kind of stay healthy. You just get a filet and a baked potato. And I realized when we got there, I was like, oh, wait, I definitely haven't eaten there because they don't have baked potato on the menu. They do not. And that is a, when I'm on the road, it's like, if it doesn't have a big potato,

we'll go to the different steakhouse, whatever. So I let us astray here. But I think it is good that we're covering this because it is like the not your daddy steakhouse thing is so, it's clearly trying to be modern. And what you just said about the bottle stores makes so much sense. First of all, who on fucking earth is eating, is your two options are go clubbing and get bottle service or eat a ribby. Right. Who the fuck has to make those two choices? That's such a false fucking, you know, false thing to begin with. But also it definitely felt like in there, it felt like the Miamiification of culture.

A thousand percent. It's like steakhouses, what used to be cool in culture was classic New York, old school New York, the Muso and. Franks over here, like that classic dark wood, you know, steakhouse experience, table, waiter with a fucking bow tie, that type of shit. This clearly, it's a bad sign that culture now is like the newest corporate steakhouse we have, which is SDK, I would assume, they're taking their cues from like shitty club culture. It was very obvious.

And it was very fun for us because it's like it was. I mean, walking in, we were all, it looks like, like Peewey Herman. ran a steakhouse, but also peewee was like a mean guy or something. Evil Peewee Herman. Evil Peeby Herman ran the steakhouse. There's like a big cow and there's like lots of different colors and it's like it's very gaudy.

But it does have like the club lighting and the club aesthetic and that thumping music like it feels like you're in a German disc attack where like James Bond would be a woman named like fucking Honey Delicious. But you're also eating a bloomin onion. You know what I mean? It's so

asynchronous. But there is like a huge audience for it. And I think part of what crystallized the appeal of this place while we were there... Honey Delicious. That's great. Honey Delicious is awesome. Was the happenstance of we're recording this on NFL Sunday and the Raiders were playing the Chargers

at SoFi. S.D.K. Not super far from Sofi. I mean, it's on the same side of town. And so... Honey Delicious. It sounds like a... It sounds like a dialogue from I Frankenstein. There were a ton of people in Raiders jerseys there. They were.

But that's the perfect thing. It's like, this is where grown men whose evening wear is a Raiders jersey, this is where they eat steak. Because you're not going to be comfortable at a Morton's. You're not going to be comfortable at a Capitol Grill. Like this is a place where it's like, oh, it feels like a casual hang, but it can get elevated food. Totally. We kind of landed on it.

I said that it felt like 2019 modern where like the pandemic has, like it got stuck It hasn't been there. It just feels like weirdly dated, but also new, and it does feel like a weird, like a weird road diverting off of culture. Yeah, definitely. That also feels dead now. The strange Delta, it's like if the last of us was, that timeline was based off of COVID. It's like, that's when culture froze. And then you're just like, we're just stuck in this.

And it was new. It was redone, right? Like this is. So this location had been moved, but it is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. L.A. SDK is actually the second SDK. It started in Manhattan and then moved over here. But there was another location in Westwood Ridge. I am shocked, by the way, that it started in Manhattan.

Yeah. I thought for sure Miami or Vegas was where it started. It was a meatpacking district. And that's very much like, I think it was the era when the club scene was burgeoning there. I see, I see. But yeah, I went to the, I've been once before to the Vegas location. And part of it, part of my experience here was being like, oh, that's not just how the Vegas location is. That's how they all are.

Because, you know, the gaudiness, the... Of course. The glitz you can kind of assume is grafted on because it's in Sin City. But no, that's not the case. That's just how they all work. And... But that said, we had a good time. And a big part of that was our...

Great time. ...was our server, who was Emily, who we all from love with. Shout out to Emily, yep. Be better, though. Mitch was... Yes, Mitch was smitten, and Amelia was trying to gas up Mitch to act. Amelia tried... The worst advice you could ever give.

ever like go tell me like dating advice to you is like when a boomer tells you like go to the go and drop off your resume in person yeah you know what i mean amelia was like write your phone number on the receipt it's like shut the fuck like that she's gonna she's gonna sign him up for like uh maga 2028 texts if he does that that's what i would do if i was like a fucking waitress i would just sign you up for the worst like text of all time like you're on poorie bookers people need to take more chances she's like people need to make more chance she's like people need to making sure more chances. And I was like, if she's on the west side, it would never work out.

And you're like, you don't know that? I was like, oh, that's a good way. Before I leave, I'll go up and ask her where she lives. Hey, before I get out of here, like, where do you live, ma'am? She signs Mitch up for the Magitex list. And he's like, I'm getting these twice now. I'm not going to unsubscribe. I like getting them both.

I know Emma has talked about this before, or Emily, Emma Erd Brink. You as a bartender, I know people would like, write phone numbers down and that that's not a that's that's a non-starter. I think at a table it's a little different because you pick it up so you know where it came from. But half the time if you're just leaving your number on a receipt on the bar, I don't remember who's receipt this is or what this phone number is. So I never called any of them. Signing them up for bad text list would have been really funny.

That'd be fun. If you remember who's a piece of shit, that'd be fun. But if you remembered in a good way, then you could just call back. But at a table at my name, assuming you paid. Yeah. Look, she did. I think she was in love with all three. of us. I think that is the truth.

But I... Four of us. I think it's her... She was love with all four of us. She maybe, she probably did love you the most. I was getting vibes. Yeah. You love a fucker.

Would you have hooked up with her? Maybe you should have left your number. I was fight. Yeah. It's her job to make you think she's in love with you. That's, of course. This is what we said to,

that's what we said to Amelia. Yeah, yeah. No, but I said that. I did say that to you too. I was like, she probably just wants tips. And tips she got. I also just, she got almost a, seven, eight percent tip, I think. And I remember why I was like, well, this is more than we usually do.

The service was great. Yeah, we'll round up. Or are you going to just, you were just getting mad at something. No, I just, I don't think anyone wants to, no one wants to be hit on at work. Yeah, well, don't say, I know this. I'm not the one who you should be talking to Amelia. Amelia is in this point and she seems to really want to open, having you experience. She wants people to be more open, I think.

It seems like, you know, even in your life, you seem to be searching. for something right now. Those are the vibes I'm getting. So I think you were, that was a little projection to Mitch where you're like, I think you were talking to yourself where you're like, I need to take more risks. Maybe you still left your number for her. No. No. No.

I thought, I'm with Amelia, though. Shoot your shot. Why not? No, you're both out of your fucking mind. There's nothing wrong with just trying. Then if you don't get to. Like you said she's on the west side, you're never going to steer me anyway. Emma, there is something's wrong with trying. One, ruining her day, two, ruining when she says leave, please. That ruins my day, too. But I will say, she did not know that I was a count.

So if I go back in this, you should go into skies today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there first, and I was sitting at the bar by myself just waiting for the party to arrive. I'm not saying anyone was late. Everyone was on time. I'm just saying I happened to get there. We were five minutes late. No, it worked out fine.

Why the fuck do you say all this shit then? He said he wasn't saying it. I wasn't saying. He was actually trying to stop this. exact thing from happening. That's how defensive you are about being late because of your years and of doing it. And the fact that you will keep doing it probably until you

die. Which will be soon. So it's not that big of a deal. You're right. I'm actually on Mitch's side now. Fuck you, Weiger. If I had, why'd you bring it up, you piece of shit?

If I die and I had to wait in purgatory for as long as I was late, I don't think it would be fun. I don't think it would be a big deal. Well, yeah, you'd be happy because that would extend the time before you have to go to hell. You get a little time in purgatory, and they're like, all right, to hell with you. Yeah, yeah. I'm late to hell.

Well, find me another fat guy to ass fuck, I guess. Mitchell's not, a big surprise. Mike Mitchell's not here to get fucked by Hitler at noon. Hitler gets to fucking hell. I guess if you're evil enough, you're evil enough, that's the thing. Yeah, yeah. After you get punished. I get a worse.

I have a worse. punishment than Hitler. That's how bad of a man I am. That's actually good because he's got a micro penis. So you don't want like an evil guy with a huge dick to fuck your ass. You know what I mean? And then if you like getting your eyes

you don't get that. If you think that's a loophole? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't get that. You have to do, you know, clean the gutters or whatever. You have to clean Stalin's gutters. I got myself. an SDK mule while I was at the bar

I transferred over to the table we sat down Mitch you got a drink called a strawberry cobbler It was awesome And that was actually Ironically I think that's where If there was a glimmer of hope

That Mitch could fuck the waitress It was because she was nagging him about His You know fruity drink choice She instantly was like She was like That's kind of a dessert drink And then I was like

A dessert like my eyes lit up It had a gram cracker crust. Yeah. I'm going to say this. I'm just, I'm going to, I'm going to,

a drink with a gram cracker crust. I'm going to say this is what Mitch started his steakhouse dinner with. I'm going to say this, more more drinks, more rims of drinks should be pied.

I think it's fantastic. I was, you took a sip of it. It was a, it was fucking delicious. It was way too sweet for me, but I, but I do,

I know you like a sweet drink. So I, I'm sad that this doesn't have pie crust around the edge of it. I want, I want, the pie crust is good. That's how Mitch starts eating pussy.

You ever want to eat pussy as if the girl's got a graham cracker crust around her clit? Hold on a second. I come back. Let me pobble that labia real quick. Good of dust of crambrac. You just throw up graham cracker all over her pussy. Ew!

Ew! Why don't you warn me? I was about to get it. out of the graham cracker cross you can tell you could tell tap my head when we're about to run out

of gram cracker cross meals you got a mojito I love pussy lie that's not true whoa you guys got a lie detector

that's on this conover left his AI thing to AI or is still in the room. Actually, Mitch doesn't like pussy. Not as much as me

at least. All right. Actually, Mitch doesn't like the pleasure women. Did your Coke Zero come in a plastic bottle? It did very strong.

What the fuck was that? Yeah. Give me a can or give me the gun, but don't give me a plastic. Yeah. She poured it in, but she let me keep the bottle, which I guess is a nice move

if I'm in a plane, but we're at a fucking You know, yeah. Also, I noticed on that Coke bottle, the rim wasn't pie. I was really mad about that. I was like, can you put Oreo crumbs around my fucking Coke Zero, please? I thought my mule was fine. How'd you like that mojito?

It was fine. Yeah, it's fine. Got the job done. And then my second round, this was an emily recommendation. I got the unchained passion, which is like a passion fruit. She's a genius. Margarita. This was, this was pretty yummy.

This is, I mean, it's certainly this day. It was also sweet. It was sweet, but it was. not as sweet as yours. But also, like, not something I would normally order, but this is the whole thing about going to these steakhouses. Did you get it on, did you get the rim unpaid or what was the deal with? What happened there?

Yeah, I said no pie for the rim. Okay, all right. I noticed that. Put some whipped cream in it, though. I like a, I mean, I like a stiffer drink if I'm going to have something alcoholic. I, I, I, I, do we, we got a glass of red wine with a steak, which is, like, the kind of thing I'd prefer. But I, but I feel like part of the chain restaurant experience is I'm going to get

their, like, fucking super sugary cocktails. Right. Also, by the way, for Dracobor Fang, our first red wine together, I think, for any of the stakes. Oh, wow. How about that? That's beautiful. Which Dracula, we say that, like, like, there you go. It looks like blood.

Sure, sure. Yeah, red wine looks like blood. That's a really interesting point. Oh, my God. I didn't ask, I didn't ask the questions. Is there a part? Oh, they're supposed to. Okay.

You can ask me now? So I'm up, can you put this at the very top of the end? Great. And I would love to, after I get asked the questions, I would. love to discuss a little bit what your standard steakhouse load out would be what because i was kind of trying to get kind of keep us on that rail of like what is the the the quintessential order and but anyway ask me the questions and i would love to have this philosophical debate okay stop what is your stance on DRAX?

Um, I guess I'm, I'm, uh, I'm like, I'm lightly against, but I could be swayed. Mm, okay. Even though I am Van Helsing. Right. In general, do you not like, uh, because they're like sexy monsters. Like, I, I kind of, I kind of, like, there's, there's, there's scenes where I'm like, if that's how I go, is it that bad? Like, like, in, uh, the, the, um, the classic, they're, the, the, the, the Bram Strokers,

Dracula that fucking Gary Oldman. Yes, the Gary Oldman. There's a scene where they're trapping Keanu and it's like two vampire, like two of Dracula's concubines are trying to suck Keanu off. And I was just looking at that like,

you know, it's not great, but if I had to pick a way to get killed by vampires, that's not bad. It seems not bad. It's being like pushed off a subway platform or something. You know what I mean? Like it's just like I don't like fucking murdered in the street. Or a death in a different horror movie?

Yeah. Which is the thing. If you're, if you're that guy that horror movie, you're probably dying. Something bad's going to happen to you. So go out fun. Go out the fun way. Also, you're saying that Dracula has pushed someone in front of a subway or you're saying in general?

I'm in death. I'm in general, death in the general case. Okay. But anyway, yes, there is something about them being horny that appeals to me. There's something about there's something about them like hanging out with your boys or your crew for eternity kind of appeals to

me. Like, I don't know how tough it is to like how much it sucks to stay indoors, whatever, but it's also like, you probably don't get a cold if you're Dracula. You know what I mean? If you're a vampire, you're probably not getting sick. You know, is it cool? Is it great that you have to kill people for their... That's, I would think, the bad part

is killing a bunch of people. You got to kill a bunch of people. But if you figured out a way to, you know, go to the blood bank and see what's about to expire and just get a whole shipment of blood that's about to go bad? And then for your birthday, you kill, like, a really sexy guy and drink his awesome testosterone full blood.

You know, like, special occasion you kill dies, but most of the time, you're kind of having the soilant of blood. That's the blue chew of the vampire world. You're going to get a really testosterone-filled guy. Yeah, you have to give a guy blue chew and then suck his blood to get your vampire dickard

dickard. You get directly put pharmaceuticals in. Flying around to old podcast listeners houses. The follow-up question is very similar. What's your history with the original blood-sucking fanatic is the follow-up question? I don't really have a I'm trying to think what my first exposure to vampires were.

I can't think, I can't remember. You actually, you brought, just being with your boys reminds me of the lost boys. Oh, sure. I'm like, oh, that was an early vampire movie for me. I didn't see that one. I'm trying to think, I'm sure it was like cartoonish shit. I'm sure it was like, you know what it really might have been actually is like the weird morbius for real on, on, off Spider-Man?

Oh, wow. Yeah. So I guess that doesn't really count. But like, I bet you it was like some sort of. Scooby-Doo vampire shit. I'm trying to, there was no, like, I'm trying to think if there's, like, one, you know, incarnation of Dracula that really. Got it for, yeah.

Not really. I mean, we were talking about how good Bram Stokers, Dracula is. It's so good. It's incredible. It's one of the best. Also, maybe Blade, actually, now that I think about it. Oh, Blade is great one. Yeah.

We, Wags, you, Dracula is the leader of the monsters in many ways, but he is also like, he is a little bit like a Wags, no offense, but you are, you are, you are, kind of the drac. I'm the Frankenstein, clearly. I get what you mean by that. In what way is Wiger Dracula-esque? He think, I mean, he basically means like the person who's like, hey guys, we got to do the monster shit. Like, we can't just like, we have a, we got a business run here. Yeah, can we schedule? Can we sit down in like for an hour and schedule

monster shit from one? I'm like, yeah, fine. I don't think Dracula's the leader of them. No? I don't think he's the leader of the, maybe he's the leader of them swag-wise, but I don't think Dracula is a man who's, uh, or an entity that's governed by He's a schedule. I think he's governed by his desire to fuck a specific real estate agent's wife, apparently. That seems to be, like, the number one driving across every version of Dracula. He really wants to fuck a real estate agent's wife really badly. And that doesn't really jive with Wai.

I don't see, like, Wigar's a man controlled by his sexual passions until he gets the BBL and the Elfirs. And then he's just run through. He gets, he's like, he becomes bi. He's in an open marriage where he just, his wife lets him get ran through by guys. And that would be kind of beautiful, actually. You know what I mean? Like bisexual, still, you still get to be with your college sweetheart,

but you still get to, you know, really use those body mods. Really get your money's worth. You're tall. It's like, it's weird. You've got to get on your knees. You're maybe more of a mummy then, if anything. Mummy? Do you the mummy handles logistics?

Yeah. But the mummy is not particularly kind of... I'm Frankenstein, that's clear. You're more... Stop is a wolf man, I would say. You're a party guy. I kind of, now that we're talking about it, I kind of, I'm feeling vampire-esque. Because I am governed by my base desires.

And most of the time, yeah, a lot of times I'm doing work. Because you're right, I guess Dracula does seem to do like vampire business until something gets stuck in his craw. And he's like, I have to do this. Yeah. I have to get the attention of this beautiful woman no matter what. I have to start doing stand-up at 19. So beautiful women will talk to me when I'm 37. So maybe you're Dracula, I'm Franks,

and you're just why. Maybe you're just a part of the monster's where you're wiger. I like mommy wise though. I'm sure. It's kind of nice to me. I'll take mummy. I like mummies. Because mummies kind of are in charge, right?

The mummy comes down and he starts barking like fucking get the scarab or whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? Like he tells these guys what to do. I like mommy for you, actually. I get canceled for not being Egyptian. Yeah. We got to talk about SDK. All right.

I do want to talk. I would touch on steak. steak loadout. For me, it's, and one of the items we got today, where we got at this experience, we'll talk about. But, like, for me, it's like martini with olives, shrimp cocktail, ding.

Whatever fucking cut of meat you want, New York strip, ribby, filet, whatever the fuck. Like, that's, that's dealer's choice. Ding. Some sort of, like, bread. You know what I mean? Like, whatever their house bread is. Fancy bread.

Some sort of fancy bread. You've gotten dings all around. And then sidewise, like, for me, I'm like a steak freeze guy, so I'm always thinking fries. But you can, but I think whatever potato variety you want. Potatoes and then I think a token green vegetable. You want some sort of like with a cream spinach.

We've got the asparagus, broccoli. You just, just something to kind of mitigate what you're dealing with. The other argument you have there is something else we got, Mitch, which is Caesar salad. We got a Caesar salad. I think that is a class. I would say I'm with you on everything. Yeah. I would probably go, yes, some kind of cocktail.

I might go old fashioned. I might go Nogroni, something like that. And then I think a Caesar salad. is a class. You want to see how a steakhouse does a Caesar salad, a shrimp cocktail, and their steaks. That's the big one, I think. I personally am a Kalamari guy, so I always like to see, because it also shows you what's their attention to detail to the stuff that's not meat forward. Right.

And if a place has excellent Kalamari, you're like this, I'm in really fucking good hands here. Which is funny, because I don't know if this place had excellent. It was dog shit. Kalamari was maybe the worst app. Give us your load out real quick, Mitch. Or just if there's anything you want to add. And I would also say I do like to see what their desserts are about. I'm probably getting some whatever their best dessert is. Agreed.

I'm checking. Because the steak-house experience is just like a full, you know, that's the whole night. I usually like a big slice of chocolate cake, which we got some version of, potatoes. But I love a mashed potatoes. We didn't do a mash this time. I would like to say I'm a philosophically baked potato guy. Guy is a house. Which I think is, and we didn't get either.

There was no baked potato option. which was... Yeah, that was a little bizarre. I was a little surprised by that. Let's talk appetizers. First off, I just want to confirm, Amelia, is it really called pull-out bread? Isn't that what I was called?

Pull-apart bread. Pull-out bread. You put out bread in the nose. Oh, fuck. Bread's so good, you're nutting right inside. I will say, it looked like it did look like pull-up bread. It was covered in a blue cheese. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah.

It did kind of look like garlic butter. It was, oh, is it Carl? Does yours just, like, look like blue cheese? It's lumpy and fucking gray? Little mold in it. The one thing I liked about the bread, which came in a little skillet, is they had butter on the top, and they also had a butter in the bottom. Bread was good.

The bread I thought was... And then there was a nice little oil that you could dip the bread into it. Bread, good stuff on the bread. My idea. Yeah. I told Wags this idea. I wonder what you'll think about it. Doritos.

dips. You make special sauces for each Dorito or dip for each Dorito. I misinterpreted what your pitch was because when you told me that originally I was like that's great but I thought you'd get like a dip that was like Cool Ranch Dip. That's what I thought too.

You know that too. That can happen too. I hate to be a guy who throws water on his friend's passion but I unfortunately think the Dorito is so flavorful that adding dips in the mix is too much. But that's why you have a food scientist

that matches the dip level. No? I'm sorry. Look, I'm just telling you what my gut feeling is. I think the Doritos bring in the flavor. I think a Dorito dip on a plain chip is, I'm listening. Okay, okay. But I think and when you said it, what went to

my head was like immediately, it was like, remember those little cheese sticks that you had like a something like that, but I just think the Dorito is too good on its own. And I think getting into the dips, I won't argue with that. The Dorado is too good on its own. Because if you try, like, if you put guac, if you took

Doritos and put guac on it, it's too much. Doesn't work. You know what I'm saying? And I think you, I think you would run into that problem. Yeah, okay, that's, that's, that's fair. I hate to do, it feels bad to, I was just, I was, I was, I had never, I was the same way as you, I love a cool rancher burrito, but I did have a good salsa the other day and I was dipping in it, I was like, if Doritos made specific sauces for dips, but you know what?

Just not everything works. Not everything works when you try it. I think that is just the thinking of where you're like, well, this is awesome. And what if I did more? Like if you're having cheesecake, you're like, I wish I had ice cream too. And it's like, it sounds awesome in theory. And then you have them both and you're like, actually I think we'd both be fine. That actually sounds right.

That's what I think it back. I take it back. It sounds awesome. Dorito dips, good idea. Because I like to have multiple desserts. I do get what you're saying, like just being overwhelmed by flavor. I think it's too much ultimately, yes. But we got some oysters.

We got some calamari and we got some shrimp cocktail. Yes, we did. Here's what I'll say I thought the oysters were fine Amelia you crushed the most of them But this was not like Especially we paid $70 for a dozen oysters These were not knocking myself

They were not good I had better oysters twice recently Yeah they were fine They were serviceable Serviceable barely though Like to me it was like They were so close to not being acceptable They were like baby

These were little tiny They were tiny For the amount of money They were so fucking tiny Small doesn't necessarily mean bad with oysters We ordered off the Mitch's dick menu. That was the problem.

Which I thought was pretty rude of Emily, who I had a cross on. Emily actually just, we saw her, she door dashed to printer and printed up the Mitch's dick menu. And it was all the kids menu and the little oysters

we happened to order. You're supposed to give her the number before you show her your day. No dick. There was no pull-out bread. There was nothing. I did not. No one saw, only a select few see that thing. We should have ordered off the Stavsdick menu, which is the same oysters, but it's like, but there's like ranch on the side. It's the same moisture with Zanziki next to them. It just means that you can come.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The shrimp cocktail, similarly, like, now, like, I was into the jalapeno pickle. I was like, I like both of these words, and it sounds like they're trying something a little different, seems specific. Pretty lazy execution. Pays was very interesting. And all we got was traditional shrimp cocktail with literally just jalapinos. And maybe there was a serrano, a small serrano in there too. But it was not, you know, it was like, again, everything at this place cost anywhere from 10 to 40% more than it should have.

It's a huge markup. And that was part of it where I was like, this is just okay shrimp cocktail with, I thought, is it some infused shit? Do you have an interesting dipping sauce? does the, did you suave this fucking shrimp in jalapis? Is it something interesting? There was, I will say this, there was no imagination at any level culinary at this place. Not even plated in an interesting.

No. Just kind of scattered across the dish over ice. That's a great point. It kind of looked like shit. It did not look very appealing. And the Caesar salad was fucking bad. It was a bagged Caesar. It pissed me off because they say Little Gem.

And, you know, I don't fucking like vegetables, so I have to have the best ones to even tolerate them. And when I saw a little gem, I'm like, All right. Sure. Douse that fucker in like some, maybe there's a fresh anchovy. We're at a fucking steakhouse. Maybe Emily will be whipping that shit up table side. No.

Didn't do shit. I'm looking at the picture of it that's not little gem lettuce. That's like romaine. It's romaine. It's fine. And like, I don't think there was an anchovy in there. No, there wasn't. I think it was fucking bottled dressing.

It was like, you know. It was not great. And I was one of the, it went over like a lead balloon. No one at the table. But that wasn't your fault. I was excited for it. Yeah. But it came out. And it was like this.

sucks. Yeah. Sometimes it's the like the absence of something like anchovy a place that's trying to have a little bit more of a mainstream audiences because they're like, well, this is polarizing. A lot of people don't like it, but it's just like, but I'm at a steakhouse. I want the version that has that's a little bit more authentic and classic and old school. This can me that option, you know? Absolutely. And if you're not going to do that, do something different. Do a different table side preparation. But you got to do

something if you're going to charge me $30 for bagged fucking lettuce. The calamari, I didn't have. What did you all think that. They're too smart for you. I know that. Oh, that's why you did it. I have a, like, it's just a, whatever. We all draw our own lines, right? That, for me, is a hang-up. For me, the intelligence is a plus. Yeah.

I like knowing this thing had family members of care about it. It makes it more delicious to me. You tell me, this thing could get out of a bottle if I put it in there? Right. Yeah, the Squid Olympics, it's like, whoever wins gets to be eaten by me.

I thought, and I'm a big Kalamari guy, I thought it was just clearly frozen, which again, whatever, clearly frozen, too little. It wasn't for frozen Kalamari, it wasn't the worst quality, but again, it was just they were little. What you're looking for is big rings, big, you know, they were tiny and they weren't freshly bredded.

What you're looking for is fresh, or even if it's frozen, thawed out, and at least hand-breded or something. You were, like, reminded me, I forgot that these sucked. So the apps were pretty bad. Now that I think about it, I guess they were bad. The jalapinos shrimp was good, but again, it was nothing special. That was the best one we had, and even that was not really a standout.

I will say that the recommendation we're talking sides from Emily for the corn pudding. To me, that was my favorite of the sides. That was really yummy. Emily, you knocked out of the park. A kin to a cream corn, I guess, more so than the dessert variety of sounds like. Potatoes on grouten, we got so, which I had a garlic, Osceago cream. That was good. And the asparagus, I thought, was totally fine.

I thought the augrat was a little too much of a loaf. In the asparagus, I had just one piece. Like how Dracula turns a victim, I just had one piece of asparagus, and it did turn my piss. It smelled different later on. I did seem a little overcooked. It was not cooked well. It was not grill. It looks bad.

It looks shittily sauteed. Yes. Yeah, no. I like a char-gree. You're a fucking steakhouse. Throw it on the fucking grill. Give me grill marks of my asparagus. make it crispy. Make me as a fat man think these are just bad fries instead of vegetables.

You know what I mean? That's what I'm looking for. You were too in the vegetable space to... No, I was with you. I still land on fine just because, and it might be because in the aftermath of the Caesar salad, which again, I'm just looking for any sort of respite from the everything else being just so relentlessly heavy. I just want something to kind of like, you know, clear the decks a little bit. but I don't know. They at least got the job done for in terms of ticking a box for a green vegetable. Let's talk steaks. Bone and filet, ribby spinalis, which was an Emily Rack, ribby chef's style, which we'll talk about.

And, Amila, you went off the menu, or you went out of Steakown and got yourself a miso-glazed Chilean sea bass. Yes. You like that seabass. It was, I like how tender it was. Like once I put my fork up to it, it slid right off, which I like to see. Flaky. It was very flaky.

It was, however, too salty. Oh, fuck. I wish I'd tried some. My stomach was just so on the rocks. Yeah. Because we start, because like I start the day, 7 am at the Odyssey, immediately go to a sports bar and have wings in a smash burger. We ate a ton of food at the sports bar.

We kind of fucked up in that way. Yeah, I got, I had four drinks. I fucking had 60 milligrams of edibles in a joint. There were five different orders of wings that came over the course of it. Wings were coming to our table. It was like choreographed. Every 12 minutes, somebody else, somebody ordered wings. I think.

Gaborz joined us. And then so, and then. I ordered my own wings. You order just two. You order wings and tenders just to get it going. Yeah. Then we order another one when Amelia gets here. Then Gabris orders, I believe, three over the course of an hour and a half.

Yes. I tip my Van Helsing's cap to you, Johnny. So, yes, we had so many fuck. And every flavor of wings, it was pretty good. It was good, actually. It was good time. And I wish, for scientific reasons, I had tried the C-Bass. Because I like C-Bass in theory, but, yeah, I did not try it, but it looked good.

It looked okay. Yeah, I looked okay. How were the spreads and shit on it? Because it came with, like, what did it come with? Oh, it was a miso-glaze, a bok choy. The bok choy was too hard. Huh? Ooh.

Yeah. It was not on the Mitch's dick, men. We really fucked up. Oyster. Yeah, we fucked up. We should have flipped that. We should have got the sea bass from the Mitch's dick menu. Or the bok choy from the Mitch's dick menu.

It would have been really small and soft. You know what? That's your fault for not ordering it from the big food by the meal. Mitch gets 50% off every time somebody. And somebody orders off that. I thought my rabbi, boy, I'm just keep, I keep saying the same word, was fine. I mean, it was cooked to town. which is, you know, like, hey, that's, that's like a must at a steakhouse, especially of this price point.

I was steered towards the chef style, which is a zingy rub and an umami butter. And I thought this was just kind of like, it would have been addition by subtraction, I feel like to get rid of those elements, because it just kind of overwhelmed the feet. What, wait, what was the, what was the, what? It was an umami butter. And the zing rub. It's umami now means nothing. You know what I mean?

It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, every once in a while. something comes around and it's like Farm to table was the first one I feel like that I remember. It stopped meaning anything and that umami is the fact that this place is talking about umami in 2026 shows you how dialed in they are to shit.

It's like truffles are so beyond done. A hot honey, that type of shit. Yeah, serracha. My butter was I got the bone marrow garlic butter which I was like you can't taste. Like it just is garlic butter. There was no there was nothing there that would I

It did not taste any bone marrow. However, there was a bit of pizzazz with the presentation, which is they give you a pat of the butter, and then a guy comes by with a creme brulee torch, and he melts that shit on top of your steak. And that's kind of fun. Like an angry villager-wise. It makes it worse. Like an angry villager.

Like an angry villager. Right, right, right, right. Good point. Thanks, Mitch. Like Frankenstein. I think that's more Frankenstein. Yeah, more Frankenstein. All right, fine.

Whatever. Yes, like an angry villager. he comes into, and I would say that's a problem, and that's emblematic of what the issue is here. They care so much more about you posting this on your Instagram story than they do about how it tastes, right? This is for like, this is for if you can't afford to go to Vegas, can you do a steakhouse?

If you really wanted to go to Salt Bay's restaurant. Yes. And it's now, because he embezzled, it's closed, well, you could still check out SDK. Yeah. That's kind of what the vibe is. And I would say, I don't know, because I knew better. I wasn't a fucking rub that was talked into the butter up charge,

like you two fucking idiots. So I got my shit dry, but a butane fucking torch does not, I bet you that tasted bad. No, it did not help, no. Yeah.

Like, that's not good. I'm easily talking to a butter up charge. It's very easy for me to be. I find with, it's like for me at a steakhouse, that is actually a big problem. When they are pushing their add-ons,

that's a, they're trying to disguise the meat. Yeah. And I found the quality of the meat. I'm a big rib-by guy. I went filet because, again, my stomach was on the rocks from a crazy day of eating. So I went, you know, so all I had was

in fucking 12-ounce fillet. And potatoes all grottin. And two desserts afterwards. Anyway, but I went like not rib-eye. And I thought I was actually really disappointed because we all did, you know, we kind of all traded bites. Yours felt like a filet to me.

It didn't feel that luxurious. Yeah. Now, I will say, the one knocked it out of the park thing I had all night was Mitch's steak. Which is off the Mitch menu, by the way. The Mitch small dick minute. It was tiny. It was tiny. It was tiny, but fatty. It was

tiny but yeah. So yeah, yeah, exactly. But it was, that was the best bite I had. That was a wonderful steak. That felt like a high-end steak. But again, it had to be the most delicious cut of the fucking cow. The rib-eye

cap is the best. Which call it, by the way, call it. The rib-eye Spinalis sounds like a tool song. You don't have to call it the ribby Spinalis. It's a little anatomical. Called the ribby cap. Yeah, sure. I think they're trying to, it's to sound a little classier, it would be my guess. Well, why? They also

have neon signs up that say the pressure is worth it in there. Like, who gives a shit? What's that mean? We didn't know. We don't know. That sounds like cancelable. That is very true. We were saying, we were saying, that's what I'm saying to the Emily when I asked for a number.

The pressure is worth it. What's your number. Maybe they mean the pressure on your hole while you're, like the pressure my whole felt this morning as my steak came rocketing out. Only because I had Pepto. Because I had Pepto, which I've hit twice during this

record, I had Pepto earlier because of the wings and I think that saved, enough was in my system that it kind of put a base coat on it on, because I think I would have a real problem. I was instillogged last night wise. I ran home and it was an instant. Not a good sign.

It was, yeah, a 10, too immediately as soon as I got back to the to base. And yeah, I was genuinely worried. I was like, was the seafood bad? And I could see the seafood being bad here. I liked my steak. And there were bites I liked there. We didn't get talked into the insane dessert, which sounded insane.

But that's, again, to stop this point, that, like, that was something that was Instagramable. It was like, it comes in a cotton candy shell that they light on fire, wherever the fuck. And she brought out a sparkler to certain point, which was nice. But that's another thing where it's just like this is about posting on social media as opposed to the dining and experience. brought out a sparkler for us because she just thought we wanted one, which was very sweet. Yeah, it was. It was nice. And then there was a man, the manager of the place came up and talked to someone. He was awesome. He was awesome. He was awesome. And then we saw him just, there was a sparkling off and he was dancing at another table. I mean, the manager of S to

be an insanely energetic gay guy. Yes. That's who, that's who makes sure the neon's on. That's who makes sure the sparklers are going. Like, he was incredible. He had that place run. Like, I will say that. It was efficient. They were checking on us. As an, they know that it's about the experience that, yeah, for, like, we are people who like the old school steakhouse. That is the vibe we actually are willing to pay for. But for people who want shitty Vegas, Miami, this is the best you can get, right? It's like, it's like, and they did a, it was run well for what it was, but I just, as a, like, as a steakhouse, it was just like, and if the food was all incredible, I think I'd be like, this was so funny. Yeah.

And I had a great time. But when you're a chart, clearly the money is for the experience, and that's a big problem. Which brings us to- The food's got to be awesome. Well, also, I'll say this. We got, because we have to get to our fork score. I have to leave. Yeah, you're the one with the out.

Oh, fuck you, Mitch. You're missing whatever's next. Here's the deal. We got a lava cake dessert, which I thought was like good, but whatever. I just want to touch it real quick. The SDK steak sauce, their signature steak sauce, which we got a curiosity steak was discussing. It tasted like Boysenberry Pre-Serkers.

It sucked, and we... That's a great point. It was way too sweet. I know this month's sucking is good, but... Fuck everyone here. We appreciate it. I like it. I like it.

I smile! This one's sucking is good. But the... How fuck, that's fucking hilarious with it. Because it's fucking vampire month. Oh, my fucking guy. shit you like. I'm trying to make it. You like puns. I thought

you'd be happy. I did. I am happy. We did like it. I have to go to acting class in this shit. I have no time to change. We try to fucking con over and all these pods that were recording here. We don't have time. We have a very small window. We got the king of podcasting. No, no, no. We have 20 minutes.

We got 20 minutes. Chocolate lava cake, bag of donuts, and two scoops of vanilla ice cream was our dessert. The chocolate, like, I will say the bag of donuts was I was expecting a bounty of donuts. They gave six donuts. Six donut holes.

Six donut holes with three dipping sauces. Not even now looks like a sombrero somehow. She's not. I'm going to fix that. Yes. I was expecting mini donuts. Maybe mochi. Maybe some interesting, you know,

like texture-wise. Right down the middle donut holes, six of them. Crazy. You call that bag of donuts is crazy. It was, It was, it was, it was, that was bullshit. That dessert was bullshit.

Really disappointing. And the lava cake was very good. It was small. But yeah, it was, and that was the thing. I was like, for, it was. You ordered it off a certain menu. I won't say what. It was a stobrous menu.

How about that, Mitch? I'm just not funny. Is that the issue? We're enjoying what you're doing. I'm mad at the days. We laugh. You are funny and laughing. You are funny.

How is your dick is small You're not funny My dick is also small Mates were both funny Probably because our dicks are small That's why Waiver has no ambition He's hogged up His life is fine

He picked some fucking character No one's even heard of He doesn't give a fuck He's checked out His dick is huge We have little ass dicks And we have to keep trying and caring I am trying here

The dessert was The dessert sort of been so much bigger It was like $27 per thing And this is the end of the meal to just top this all off. The bill came and I said, guess it. Everyone was saying $600, which was a lot. A lot. It was $880.

$880. $880. Before tip. Before tip. Before tip. With tip, well over $1,000. Yeah, with tip, it was like $8.98. Sorry, it's my version of dad jokes is always claiming the tip is lower.

Next year. The $10 tip. my number. Yeah. Well, there's two boxes. There's like 40% tip with your number. This will clear if you text me. And then eight, you know, eight percent, no, no, you know, don't text me back.

Don't text me back. Yeah, yeah, you had two. Hey, buddy, Mitch. I know you and I are both very concerned about our sleep. It's a thing we put a lot of thought into. And I know your sleep is improved markedly because of your helix mattress. That's right, Wags. my Helix sleep mattress.

I love my Helix mattress. Wow. I have a Moonlight Lux mattress. Feels like I'm sleeping on a cloud. I've had it for about seven years now. It's perfect, Wags. Everyone who's been on that mattress love it. That includes me, Wally Irma.

My mom, when she comes to town, I say, hey, take the bed, I'll go on the couch. She loves the Helix mattress. Me when you're out of town? I sneak in there. You sneak in there. You know what? Three bears.

And do you love the Helix mattress? It's comfy. I would say Three Bears style, it's just right. It is just right, Wags. But your porridge is too cold. I'm sorry about that. But don't eat my porridge. I like it.

Wags, you know, it's the fall is coming around. The air is getting crispier. It's getting a little cooler. It's time to get into those beds. Settle down for a long winter's nap, like the guy night before Christmas. Man, how great is getting a good night's sleep? It's fantastic. You get into the covers.

It's one of your favorite things in the world. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? And Woggs, guess what? With the Helix mattress, I'm always feeling good. I'm always getting a good night's sleep. And we know it's a bit of because we talked about before. Our listeners know, you know, the two of us know that it's helped you, you know,

with your having more regular sleep habits. It's helped with your sleep hygiene. It's helped with any sort of like back pain or discomfort. You know, you stay dry on that bad boy. Yep. It's just a great, wonderful sleeping experience. Nice and cool. And we know you track your sleep, and you've seen improvements there as well.

I really have, Wags. I love my Helix sleep mattress. It's been with me for a while now. But you know what? When I got it, I remember like it was yesterday, a little baby coming right to my door because it's free shipping and seamless delivery. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. And the happy with Helix guarantee, rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges.

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Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. Helix sleep.com slash doughboys Get some sleep buddy Wow I wish you get to our final thoughts On SDK On a scale of zero to five

Forks although for this month Because it's a Drak Dober fang We are doing zero to ten fangs Two fangs It's good to suck Yeah Oh yeah Fuck that's awesome

Holy shit Oh fuck sorry Okay go ahead You guys start Because I'm still a little I'm still taking It's going to take me a second to recover from that.

Mitch, you want to give your final lots of four score. I'll give, who is the guy who founded this place? I'll look up his name. I don't have any friend of it. So 10 fangs.

10 fangs. You got it already. 10 fangs is, 10 fangs is five fours. So six fangs is three, four. That's right. Yeah, yeah. His name is Jonathan Siegel.

Interesting because Siegel's often circle garbage, wags. Did you know his name was Siegel and you? Okay. And that's how it's done. Mitch. That's how it's

done, my friend. You scored with a fucking pun. That's why he's the little Dick King of podcasting. He's thinking I'm the little Dick King of Podcasting. You're the little big king of podcasting, Frank. You're the king. I'm happy to be. You're my friend. And I was there with all my friends. Yes. What a

court, what a great time we had together there. But for the price, that price is just, it's unforgivable. The price is unforgible. The price is unforgible. We could have gone to a fucking omacase all of us and spent a thousand dollars. The four of us, you said this. We could have had the meal of our lives.

And Nick, what was the name of that founder again? Jonathan Siegel. Seagulls often circle around garbage wise. And I think that this is the same. This place is kind of trash. I mean, like, there is some things that tasted good for the, but for the, for the price and, like, just there's so many things that should have been better. That calomari sucked. And I didn't even think about that, but you remind me of it.

Yeah. The shrimp cocktail, whatever. It just didn't pass the test. Muso and Franks would have been so much more fun. We would have had a blast. We would have spent probably half the money. Emily was perfect. Overall, wise, I have to go,

uh, four fangs. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, wow. Four fangs, two forks. Two forks. All right, stop. What do you think? I did it like the count.

Yeah, yeah. You liked it. You should have counted. No, shut the fuck up. No more fake laughing. Um, this is because when we went to SD, initially I thought the SDK might make my dick HRD. But it turned out it was actually quite SFT.

Soft. Soft. Yeah. Yeah, I think this place is just for, again, for the mind. One of two things, one of two things needed to happen. Either it had this horrible aesthetic and shockingly, incredible food at every turn. That would be kind of interesting, right?

Like, it's like when somebody who dresses like a goth is actually like a great lawyer or something. Like, it's always weird when someone's into a subculture, but they're great. That would have been what this was, right? Like something that throws you off where you're like, oh, wow, like, you know, even though the out, the shell is stupid inside is good stuff.

Or it needed to be half the price. If it was even, if it was even the price of a standard steakhouse, If it was even comparable, I think, I don't think it, I don't think because of the flaws it would get into the Golden Play Club, but I think it could be the low, it could be high threes possibly if it wasn't, if it was half the price, possibly. But quality wise, and because of the, I think I'm with, I'm close to you, Mitch, but I think I'm actually going to go five fangs. That's a fair score. fangs right down the middle, maybe even Oh, wait, fuck.

Is there less options now? Math? We're so bad at math, but what the fuck would 2.25? No, I'd be. 2.8. Talk shit about math earlier in the episode. 2.254?

Yeah. Maybe like four and a half. Oh, four and a half fangs. So maybe I'm more of a four and a half. Four and a half fangs. Fuck it. I'll say five. I'll say five.

Two point five. We're close to blood brothers on this because. Yeah, we are close to blood brothers on this. Yeah. Because that's another thing for this month. Yeah. But I figured it out. I think we all kind of felt, and especially when we got the bill,

you could feel the night just kind of plummet after seeing. Not that it mattered. You're right. There was a psychological, like it felt like the rug was pulled out from under us, because I think what we were all feeling was, you know what, it'd be nice. The food was a little better. Had a blast.

Our server was great. The attention was great. The manager checked on us. All this stuff was the food wasn't bad, but the atmosphere was kind of fun in a kitchy way possibly until you're like, oh my God, we could have gone to the best restaurant in Los Angeles with this amount of money. No, I mean, I agree with you on the kits factor. I mean, you're going in there, I am having fun, like an ironic sense just from the aesthetic, you know. It's like it's a steakhouse and Tron legacy, you know. Yeah, yes, yes.

It feels like you're in an equinox locker room. It's like it's just, it's like so This is not A Kincingera and an equinox Yeah That's what it felt like yeah No Jared Letto on top of it Yeah

I'm like Tron Yeah Honestly it does feel like a place Jared Letto would go Would take a 19 year old Latina On a date So I like that Who we met when she was 17

I appreciated that sort of You know This neon tacky Uh, Sude classy A club pastiche the service was universally excellent. Really good.

The bartenders were taking care of me. Great when I was sitting at the bar. The manager who mentioned was great, that anyone else who was stopping by to drop off food or pick up plates was a delight. They have that element locked in. But I want to read from an October 2006 eater review by Ben Leventhal of the then newly opened

STK in Manhattan. So this is when it was brand new, not yet a chain. Located at the very center of the meatpacking district in geography and spirit, this is STK. It is officially, quote, a steakhouse with a conscience and sex appeal. End quote, though the steakhouse has thus far taken backseat to the sex appeal, namely the design, scene, and even the menu. Though there are bright spots, especially among the more adventurous side dishes, SDK is a place for serious beef enthusiasts falls short.

But again, that's mostly besides the point. And yeah, it's besides the point for a lot of its clientele who goes there and has a good time. But for us, who were there to have a great steak dinner, it was profoundly disappointed. And again, the price cannot be overemphasized. I put together, for point of comparison, some dishes at SDK, Westwood, where we ate, and Hillstone, Santa Monica, which is not far from it, and is a similar sort of category of class. That would have been so much better. It would have been so much better. Fuck.

Shrimp cocktail, $29 at Hillstone, $41 at SDK. Caesar salad, $16 at Hillstone, $31 at SDK. Cocktails, $18 at Hillstone, 23 at SDK. sides were $10, $23 at Hillstone, $23 at SDKK, $14 desserts at Hillstone, $23 desserts at SDK the stakes. Ribai was $58 in Hillstone, $94 at SDKK, that's not counting the $12 upcharge for the butter. And the filet, $65 at Hillstone, Santa Monica, $99 at SDK Westwood. We would have had an arguably superior meal on every account for less than half the price

if we'd gone to Hillstone instead. Now, I would, not to be, I do think it's more comparable to do something slightly pricier than Hillstone. Sure. To be completely fair to this place, I still think it would fail. Like, Fleming's, for example, is a great example. We almost went to, we almost did go to Fleming's. But still, you're right that it's like, that comparison's crazy.

Yeah, I was trying to point it towards another chain that's trying to be elevated. Right. But yes, one-to-one with another steakhouse would perhaps be more, more relevant here. But all that said... My dad's favorite steakhouse Fleming's. We may be revealing it this month. He was not alive for SDK, though. So who knows? He maybe would have loved

SDK. He would have loved it, dude. He's in line next to you to get fucked in the ass by Hitler and hell. He's like, oh, I know who will take his place. He's like, oh, come on. Your dad's and now like, Mitch, I gotta get fucked by Hitler now. My dad is not jumping in his...

Dad's not... Actually, you're right. He's in heaven watching you. get shot of his. And jacking off. Jesus. No, I didn't say that. He's just like, oh, man, I wish he would have lived a Christian life like I told him to so he could be up here with me and our family.

But he's got to give Saddam Hussein a rim job. But with a pie crust. With a pie crust. He's bad. He's a peti chip crust on Saddam's ass Saddam's like

He's like He's like The crust is way gone I haven't noticed at all I think it's an indictment of this place Also don't clip that We've clipped things before And then like my mom's friend

You can even take it out It's fine No no no no oh no It's fine we can leave it in That's fine But we've clipped stuff before Where it's like me time Oh actually I think it was your podcast

I was talking about like No no it's all right That's eldest's fault He's a piece of shit Congratulations on your child it's an indictment of this place I think that the I think the best part of our experience

was before the food came and we were just enjoying being on on the bridge of the Orville yeah yeah just like just taking in this insane fucking place you said we were on the Orville yeah the bridge of the Orville another just like your costume

another reference everybody gets I hope I hope our listeners mainly watch TV through YouTube shorts because that's the only place I've ever encountered a clip of the Orville in my fucking life. I was like, what the fuck is me?

I'm landing on four fangs, Blood Brothers, with Mitch. I'm going to go two forks this. Wow, I give it a little more than you guys, I guess. I thought, I mean, I had a good time. It was just so fucking expensive. No, you're right. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't think you are. I think you're in the same ballpark.

All right, it's time for a segment. Meeley, what do you think? Sorry. Sorry to... Oh, right. I'm in the Blood Brothers Club, too. Four fans. So four fangs. Four fangs. The point is no one's, everyone, Everyone's below three. It was blear. It was blear.

It was bleh. You know what? Even I, a vampire hunter, will say, bleh. Wow. What a day. Yeah. We've reunited our war. Van helping.

It would probably ban helping. That's pretty good. Hey, it's time for a segment. Mitch and stop will be given a frame from a movie involving a food item. Must guess which film is from. It's the return of Frank Check. Hit it, Emma. Oh, yeah.

Frank Check with Mitchell and Wyger. Frank Check with Mitchell and Wiger Don't know what film foodstuffs to expect All you need to know is that the name of the segment's Frank Check Okay, so we'd see a frame You got a right Frank Check Oh, you did the King of Comedy That's right

All right They don't like it when the doughboys are on as much You brought this up at dinner I don't think it's true The blankies can be crankies sometimes The blankies are occasionally crankies. You know what they're going to love, you complaining about it on a podcast that has nothing to do with them? You know what it'll make them feel better?

You know what people on the internet love is when you complain about them commenting on you? The blankies can be crankies. The blankies can be cranky. I think the doughboys fans are dumber, but the blankie, the blank check fans are more annoying. Is that fair? That's fair. So the dough boys fans are Mitches. and the blank check fans are

Griffin it's kind of like you know yeah exactly alright let's let's get the first frame up Mitch

scream it is scream it gets a point I'm taking the head off with my good friend Drew Barrymore is about that's that's true wow

I just did the Drew Barrymore show it was the most surreal thing of my life that's insane that's a good one we should describe what the frame is for people who are just... E.T.'s friend. You were with E.T.'s friend. We should describe what the frame is for audio listeners. This is a popcorn popper on a stove top. All right, next, next frame.

Here we have some shrimp cocktails next to a pot. Mitch? Oh, fuck. I think of a fuck. I'm gonna say this is Hannibal. Not Hannibal. Boogie Knights? It's not boogie nights. This is, I'll say these all seem to be horror movies. Oh, right. It's up. I have an idea. Mitch? Can I go again? No. This is Beetlejuice. Fuck! I knew it was Beetlejuice.

You motherfucker! Well, you should have said the first time. All right, next up. Here we have a turkey being carved. This one seems with an electric carver. This seems pretty hard. I don't think I would have gotten this one. Actually, there is a clue in the wardrobe of the person using the carver.

Oh, Rocky Horror Picture Show. It is Rocky Horror Picture Show. Stop gets a point. Next up. RIP. Here we have a bunch of... things that are perhaps not actually food that are in a box.

Oh, Mitch, it? No, this is not it. Fuck. That's Mitch's lunch from today. I don't know. It looks like a box full of worms. A film we mentioned earlier, the Lost Boys. Oh, my God, right.

Embarrassing for you. Yeah, I know. You should have gotten that. It's embarrassing. We have some stuff cooking in a pan. Mitch. That's that fuck. Hannibal.

That is Hannibal. Yeah. Fuck you. Two to one. Next up. Here we have a countertop with what is on there, Amelia. It's meat. That's just meat just sitting on a countertop.

Seven? It's not seven. Uh, hmm. Does the meat move or something? Ah, fuck. And I know what this is. I know. That's what it looks.

Yeah, but it's not, anyway. The meat moves. The meat moves. What the fuck is there? the meat moves. It's a picture of meat on a counter and the meat moves. Yes, we need an answer. All right, relax. I'm the one who has a time crunch.

Okay, fine. Take all the time you want. I'm taking forever. Who gives a fuck? You know, you know what's good podcasting? Someone's silently thinking. All right, here's my guess. Is the movie called the meat moves?

It's not the meat moves. This is polter guys. Polter guys, of course. This is a very dark picture from polter guys. Oh, it's the new polter guys, you fucker. No, it's the only. It's the old one? I'm honestly, it's such a disservice.

I'm not a horror movie guy, and it's pathetic that you haven't blown me out, Mitch. This is insane. That does not look like a... Are you sure that's from the new one? Yeah, I'm positive. I pulled it from the... A clip from the YouTube.

It's an old one. All right. All right, fair enough. Okay, let's see the next one. This is a plate of bacon and eggs. Perhaps if you pay attention to the aesthetic here, you might... Wallace and Gromit. It's not Wallace and Grom.

Fuck! Oh, Mitch, Coraline. It is Coraline. Mitch gets a point for Coraline. I was hoping there's a spooky Walson Gromit. I mean, there is the Chris of the Warrbit. The Warrbit. All right, let's see it's next.

Let's see the next one. Mitch. Oh, fuck you. Mitch. There's a green bowl with the spoon in it is. Mitch, Wallace and Cromit versus the Ware Rabbit. Nightmare before Christmas? It is Nightmare before Christmas.

This is the only one on you because I wanted to fuck the sock puppet emo girl. I know exactly what's about to happen in this frame. Like, this is the one frame I know. know I've memorized, because I was like, fuck, I wish you would feed me that fucked up suit. I loved her so much. Let's see the next one. Here we have a close-up on a can of... Stav from Dust Till Dawn.

It's not from Dust Till Dawn. Ooh, good guess, though. Mitch, the meat moves. It's not the meat moves. This is perhaps a different demographic would be into this film. Practical magic. Oh. I'm excited

to you. Yeah. Two, part two. We have two left. What's the score? Three to one. Sorry, three to two, Mitch. If anyone's game.

No, no, no. It's three to two. It's definitely three to two. Fuck. I only got two? Yeah, you fucked up really bad. I got Rocky Horror Picture. Oh, yeah, and fuck.

And the one of the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you, I know. Still anyone's game, though, with number 10. Here we have a whole bunch of salami that are sitting in a trying to think of some Italian scary movie. The day you got to move out of your mother's basement.

The most scary Italian plot there is. The day you find out you're not allowed to fuck your mom as an Italian boy. That's the scariest day of your life. Oh, no. Just a couple of years for that to happen to all of them. Marron. I think we're thinking of perhaps a hint that might steer you.

There's a trope in this type of movie that involves a grocery store scene. I don't fucking know. What the fuck does that mean? grocery store is a good hint? Oh, Mitch. Chopping mall. Yes. The mist.

It is not the mist. No, this is Dawn of the Dead. Oh, my God. The original Dawn of the Dead. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's fair. That's good. That's good. That's good. We have one more. Here we have a close-up. This one really hard to tell what the fuck is going on. Is that a piece of bread?

Hand holding bread. The witch? Ooh, good guess. It is not Robert Eggers, the witch. Eggers is another food name, though. Yeah, that's, yeah. Great point. Robert Hammond Eggers.

Uh, hmm. I'm gonna go... If Mitz gets this wrong, it's negative two points, by the way. You rule, the Savros Hoccus rule. Okay, great. It's like that one game where you guys get to just add rules or whatever. So you get this wrong... I know what it is.

Go ahead. It's the famous bread... scene from I Frankenstein. Oh, and Mitch just got the daily negative double. Yeah, Mitch loses two points with the wrong answer on the final question. The stop roll. Bob wins two to one. Congratulations.

What fuck are you talking about? The stop Rosalesis rule of Frank Check. If Mitch is up by one and he gets the last one wrong, it's minus two points. That's the fuck, yeah, that's the clutch rule. Is Mitch clutch? Does he have, does he

not have something in common with fucking Drake May, who sucks dick. The schedule. I am up against the schedule. But also, what was that movie? That was a Nosferatu, the new Nospheratu. It was another Robert Ager's movie. I was so, I was really close. You know what?

I deserve to win. I think you deserve a half point there at least. Well, so now I won by one and a half points. Yeah, there you go. Because Mitch is negative two. You want by more? Yeah, yeah. If you get, okay, on the last, here's for Frank Check.

On the last question, if the guest is down one, but guess is the right direction. they get half a point and Mitch has to get a completely right or it's negative two boys. Just like a restaurant about your feedback. Let's up of the feedback. Today's emails from Julia from Toronto. Are you writing those notes down? What the fuck is wrong with you? This is canon.

Julia from Toronto writes a few months ago is smoking a joint in the park and listening to Do Boys when I witnessed a stabbing. Emma, a little premature with that hell yeah. The guy was fine. This is what weed does to your brain, Emma. The stabbing was the guy playing doughboys on like a speaker box. I haven't gotten to that episode yet.

Don't spoil the fork score of that donut shop. The guy was fine, but I did end up having to give a statement to the police and it was all pretty wild. It got me thinking what food scenario would be the most likely to lead you to violence. Mine would probably involve a non-vegetarian taking the last slice of cheese pizza when there's meat options to choose from. Oh, that's bullshit. Jimmy, Wally, and I'm a pat for me.

Mitch immediately fucking says it's bullshit. I hate to be fucking Buzz McAllister here, but when the cheese pizza is all out, it's fucking all out. Like, some people prefer cheese pizza. Yes, in theory, but... Someone's going to have to barf it up, as Barf says. I think I get it where it is in the context of a group hang. You're thinking of it as you're thinking of it as, just like in general, but you're saying you're going to stop your friend from getting a

one, their third slice so you can get your sixth slice of cheese. You know what I mean? And you can pick off pepperoni and they can't. All right, this is, I'm saying this, like, I'm going to go and take a slice of cheese pizza. If there's a vegetarian there and they're like, I haven't gotten a slice of pizza or I want another slice of pizza and it's vegetarian. There's a bunch of meat slices.

I, of course, will let the vegetarian have this. That's exactly what they said. Then they can have the cheese slice. I'll tell you what's getting something that's going to set me off now. Yeah, please. Every drink I have from here enough that doesn't have the pie rims. You're going to punch the waiter. In fact, the water, why wasn't the water glasses there?

You should be graham cracker crust around. Every time you drink water, you should have a graham cracker. There should be, this is easy. More than Dorito dips. This is, this is actually works. This and fucking Santa Barbara put them on the, put them on the fucking board. My thing is If you're excluding alcohol

Which you think has to be excluded Because that's the obvious answer I'm thinking of a buffet situation Where someone's being Like unhygienic Like they're like dipping their finger In the fucking mashed potatoes Or something like that

You know what I mean? You did use your finger just recently What do we have and then you Oh, you had some sort of dipping sauce And you just put you just went You fingered that shit Hold on I did not stick my finger in the dipping sauce

I touched the lid That was over the dipping sauce No I thought you touched a sauce That was somebody else. That was somebody else. I did not touch a dip his top. He did not touch a dipping sauce crust. Yeah. He did a rim. He did a dipping sauce rim. There was residual sauce on the rim. Say your fucking DeLorean back and look at it, you motherfucker.

Yeah, what's up with this vampire? We never got into this. What is this vampire do? So, Astarian is a voice by Neil Newbond and an award-winning performance. Or is a great actor. Balders Gate 3, sprawling RPG. Oh, Jesus Christ. Huge game that came out a couple years ago that I love. And it's a I don't know, he's just like the best, like the most interesting of the NPCs in terms of like his backstory is really rich. And in, in this game, you can fuck every character. Yeah, you can all fuck. Did you ever fuck the vampire?

I never fucked Astyan. No, I was romancing Gail. He was my husband and my second play through. And then previously I went with Shadow Heart. It was kind of like the canon thing, but I felt it was kind of a husband. You have a big monogamous? I mean, no. You can absolutely be Polly.

Housson is very into being Polly, Housson the Druid. Can you fuck a bear in it, too? You can't fuck a bear. That's Halson. Oh, so you were fucking a bear. He's in a freaky shit, yeah. And that's who you voiced in Boulder's girl. Actually, the freaky bear's who I would voice, let's be honest.

The sex negative bear, that's who you would voice. Any of that, I mean, like, food scenarios that would lead to fighting. That would piss me off. Yeah. I guess it would be more, to me, I'm going to, like, back when the Popeye sandwich was, like, I'm thinking about waiting in line for something and being the last guy and sort of getting, fucking fucked on a technicality. The guy in front of you, like, order six or something like that.

Or somebody cuts the line and it's like the guy, the worker's friend. Yeah. And I'm like, you know what I mean? Like something like that. I have a scenario. Yes. You make a reservation on a steakhouse for five people. And then the fat piece of shit that you changed.

The most free loading one. The one that you changed the reservation for. You changed it to five people so he could come. Then backs out of the last. And then you have a moment, awkward moment of the host stand to being like, like actually it's only going to be four. Because they know that changes it from a six top to a four top, which is a little like, you know,

you have a bunch of rejiggering of the floor plan. Not that that happened. Not that that happened. It didn't happen. Just in theory of that had happened. I will say when you're dining with the plus, with other plus size, you know, members of your party,

it's not the worst thing in the world to have a six top when it's four of you. A hundred percent agree. You need a buffer chair for, you know, like there's nothing wrong than touching fat knees when you're having like a decadent meal. And let's also just say, like, say if, like, in the scenario, I don't know, susser or somebody was this guy in the scenario. Right. In theory, yes. There is a chance with what we paid that we'd be just boarding up doughboys media today.

We'd be on a fucking house and home. Without question, it would be over $1,000. Yeah. Email us at Feedback atburnfuck.com. Voicemail at 830-Go-Go-0. That's 830-463-844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer, Emilio Marino.

Our video editor is Mike Dorfman, whose birthday it is today. Happy birthday, Mike. Oh, happy birthday, D'Refman. We love you. You can get the Do Boys Double Our Weekly Bonus episode over at patreon.com slash doughboys. We get the new Dooboys action figures at birdfuck.com. Give me my wiger. Come on, take the Mitch. You can take both.

You know what? I'm going to scrape the Celtics logo off your hat. That's fine. You can do that. Technically, it's not a Celtics logo. It's just a clubbred. I see, I see. Right.

It's just my Irish heritage that you're shitting on. Yes. Of course. It all goes handy. hand. Oh, I respect Irish Americans. There's almost no there's almost no worse

drop off from I like when you tag American onto something I, because Irish people are insanely cool, the actual Irish people. And Irish Americans are like, the Irish are like, we get to be cops, great. We'd love to be black people. So we're not the bottom of the rung anymore.

That's who you're fucking, that's who you're descendant of. This is insane. I'm not making fun of I'm wrong about the Irish That's what you're going to tell me We don't make fun of your hedonistic islands down there When you eat and you dance around Motherfucker

Sounds fucking cool I know we don't like that We grill octopus We're drinking wine sucking each other off Doing math Sounds pretty good to me We don't fuck

We don't dance up there on our island We go by the Bible We do the things the right way And we like potatoes Something happened On the fucking trip over to America that zapped every Irish person

of their sauce. It really did happen because they're cool as fuck over there. Yeah. You know? Sorry, Mitch. It's true. You know that in your heart. And me? I'm Estonian. Stoveros-Halkius. Uncle Stob on Netflix. Tony, people should watch Oh, see the film with Amazon. Check on the special.

Check out the movie. A king of comedy right now. Anything you'd like to plug. Just watch. Please watch the special. Tomorrow night. That's right. Tomorrow night. Let's get the doughboys bump. No, just watch a special. honestly, I'm literally done promoting stuff. I'm only doing this because I

love doing the podcast. Oh my God. We're out of my promotion window. The idea that I just get to eat steaks and talk about it with my pals, I'm a little mad that Mitch has to do something. I would have love to talk for four hours. Like, that's how, you guys are catching me at a time where I'm like, I'm done promoting, I want to talk about meat

for four hours. So, you know, next time. We'll get a nice one going It's fucked up. I'm, it is fucked up. No, I don't want to make, no, I'm fucking with you. I have five minutes to get there. I text and I said I'm going to be late. So we're going to... Yeah. And I would...

It's fine. It's in Burbank. My one... My final plug would be the, uh, the Mitch's dick menu at STK. Check that out. It's really, you know, tiny, fatty morsels. Really good stuff. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys on next time for the Spoon Man or Spoon Fang.

Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Ware, Tiger Weiger. Starting route to 100 South California Street. live. Bye. See ya. Bye.