Doughboys - Drac-Dough-Ber-Fang: Texas Roadhouse with The Sloppy Boys

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Jefferson Dutton (@jeffersondutton), Mike Hanford (@mikehanford), and Tim Kalpakis (@timkalpakis), of The Sloppy Boys, join the 'boys to kick off Drac-Dough-Ber-Fang, a spook-drac-ular month of steaks and stakes with a review of Texas Roadhouse. Plus, a spooky edition of Drank or Stank.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmDownload Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/8xqcrzj3 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Howdy, buddy, the dough boys are coming to Texas and also Boston Mass. Yee ha! We're going from Yee ha to hi, ma. Wow.

We're going to be in Houston at the Houston Improv on November 17th, Dallas at the Addison Improv on November 18th, and Austin at Capital City Comedy Club on November 19th. We have a 7 p.m. show that is sold up with the 9.30 p.m. show still has tickets available. And who knows if we will hit up the comedy mothership. You'll find out. Maybe we'll just do a spur of the moment show at the comedy mothership. And then Wags.

Don't worry about that, though. Buy the tickets to the existing shows that we're trying to promote, Mitch. Do the existing shows first. And then we have a surprise show at the Comedy Mothership or kills Tony. Then you can come to those two. Don't worry about that for now. You'll know about that when you know about it. But go to the Houston, the Houston Improv, Dallas at that.

and improv noxon the capital city comedy club. Then why? November 17th or 19th of what you should be looking at. Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the Wilbur, the doughboys are potted. That's right. Thanksgiving Eve, November 25th, the Boston, the doughboys will be at the Wilbur theater. I thought you would finish the rhyme for me. T'was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the Wilbur, the doughboys were potting. I guess potting is hard to rhyme with. The doughboys were potting. Oh, I guess you have to ride with the over. And the audience was applauding.

That's good. The audience was squatting. The audience was squatting. That's more likely. Maybe you had to ride with, do you have to ride it with Wilbur? Bill Burr. And our guest won't be Bill Burr. Our guest won't be Bill Burr.

We'd love to have him. Yeah, yeah, he's very busy. Anyway, November 25th of Boston in Boston at the Wilburr Theater. So join us for all of those shows. Tickets at birdfuck.com slash live or doughboyspodcast.com slash live. Our guest will be Cuber and Gad. Reunited at last from the pixels movie, where they fucked. It's canon.

Check us out. Houston. Dallas. Austin. Boston. Wow. Don't get Austin and Boston mixed like in road trip. Birdfuck.com slash live. Birdfuck.com slash live. On October 11th, 1974, director Toby Hooper released the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a film that would itself be massacred by critics, yet make a killing at the box office, and become one of the most influential horror-filled. of all time. Nearly 20 years later, a different Texas horror show would emerge, one not of fiction,

but of the real world, a lone star state-themed restaurant that serves the butchered, cooked remains of murdered cattle. In 1993, founder Wayne Kent Taylor, who, in a twist worthy of M. Knight-Sharmelon, grew up in Kentucky, made his literal sketch on a napkin into reality with his first steakhouse location in Clarksville, Indiana. Serving Texas-sized cuts of meat and fix-ins in an intentionally kitchy dining room adorned with wall-mounted chotchkes, Taylor's country concepts scaled up to over 60 locations by the end of the millennium, including Texas itself. The chain expanded globally and became publicly traded in the 2000s and survived the existential

restaurant crisis of the COVID pandemic. Tragically, its founder did not. Post-COVIDH. had developed constant tinnitus, tinnitus, which led him to take his own life, orphaning his sprawling Steakhouse Empire, though some say that unrelenting ringing in his ears was the echoing death rattles of slaughtered cattle. This week on Doe Boys, Drac Dobafang 2026, a spook Dracula month of Stakes and Steaks begins with the nightmare of Texas Roadhouse. Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Ware-Tiger, along with my co-host, the Count Dorkula. Count Dorkula. The Spoon vamp, Mike Mitchell. Blear. Blah. Blah. Mitch, hey, bloody.

Oh, that's good. That is good. Who said, did you say that? I said that because it's Drakdober Fang. That's right, Draktober Fang is here, a spook Dracula month of Stakes and Steaks. It's Drachtover. It's Dachdober. Doverfang.

Does he always talk like this? Between the puns and Mitch's just like garbled words. Turn the channel. We haven't got a word in this. Drac Doberfang. Drac Doberfang, Mitch. How long are you going to commit to these plastic things? You're going to choke.

Take them out. I think you got to spit him out. Okay, I can't out. Look, here's the thing. For our audio listeners, A nice thread of... Don't show that. For audio listeners, we have Dracula wardrobe and makeup.

There were some fangs included. Unfortunately, there were two sets of fangs. One had a complicated application process that involved physically gluing them to our teeth, that we got overwhelmed by. They were too complicated. They were too complicated. The other ones are just shitty. They just suck. They're just like the kind you, you know, getting a bagged Dracula costume like we're wearing now.

They're the ones I just had in my mouth. You just had it in your mouth. But it was all fine because we... we have a Dracula's famous cane. Yeah, that's right. The signature of Dracula's, probably his most well-known element, his famous cane.

Much like Han Solo's dice. Yes, Dracula's cane. You think of Dracula's cane. What do you say, cane, then coffin? What do you think for Dracula accessories? Cain one. Probably the shoes next. Shoes two, yeah, which we don't have.

Which is a bit of an oversight. Dracula's, his cane and his slippers. King one, slippers, too. Don't forget brooch. And then brooch. broach three. Then after that, probably cough in. I'm the Batman, Mike Mitchell, instead of the spoon man.

Yeah, I think it's good. What a fucking mess. Mitch, dragdobber fang is all steakhouses in the main feed, or as we say, the vein feed this month. The bane feed. And Dracula content over on Patreon and the doughboys bloodl. So a whole month of drag. I have a snack that's off limits for Dracula. Can I show you?

Yeah. Sun chips. I thought you were going to go garlic and they sun chips is a little bit of swerve. It's really good. Yeah, it's great. That's great. Our guests can also say bleu. We just want to let them know.

Anyone can say bleh. Well, bleh. I wonder, it's funny that we're doing that Dracula month is, or steak month is steaks are bad for drag. No, but they're blood suckers, you see. Okay. Oh, it's about a steak being driven through a heart. That's what I'm worried.

Right. But they are one of Dracula's accessories. A steak is a, is one of, is a Dracula accessory. It's a Dracula accessory. Like the cane. Right, like the cane. He doesn't have a steak. He doesn't have it.

He doesn't want anything to do with a steak, but the steak is associated. He doesn't have any stakes in his house? I feel like at the end of the movies, they find steaks within his house. I don't think they find like, hey, the steak is like ready to use. It's things like they'll break like a crucifix in half or something and then use a fragment as a steak, you know. I'm madernating. some steaks. Okay.

He's got fucking wood in marinate? I hate this dude. Here's why I think these steaks, S-T-E-A-K-S, works for Dracula because they are a bloody food. Yes. Depending on how they're coming. He also might have

steaks. Who knows if he has, if he puts up tents and you have a knife in your house and knife can kill you. He may have a steak in his home too. Knife can't kill you. A knife can't kill you? This month is ever. I'm going to get the knife. I think the new models are made at titanium, so yeah.

Count Dorkula. What did you think of that one? Anyways, it's Funnion from the Dosecourt. Hi, Funnion. I love you guys. Hope all is going well. By the way, if Mitch gets mad, you can say Count Honcula. Oh, I like that.

Wow, Spoon Nation for life. Roast at Birdfuck.com. Oh, I was mad with Concordula. Connhunkula. That's like, I like that. I like that a lot. Mitch, we got a whole bunch of boys here today. The boys are back.

The boys are back. Anyways, the boys are back. We'll get into that in a second. The boys are back. Oh, did you make your, do you made yours bigger than mine? That was, I'm realizing that was unintentional, but it's funny. Should I do? Should I do?

Should I do? Should I do this size? This is mine. You have a one. It's a Yoda cane. There's a lot of, there's a lot of the, the, we're celebrating Dracula. We're celebrating. We're celebrating.

reading Dracula, and this is in October, the spookiest of months, Mitch. I'm doing a little bit of a, what is the movie that goes backwards and forwards? Head to the future. I'm doing a tenant here. A reverse? No, a future tenant. I saw White Fang again.

Oh. Okay. So on an upcoming episode that we've already recorded, you mentioned that you saw someone with a license plate White Fang. And I don't think it's Jack London. You got that from me. I know. You didn't say, I know.

So that's a tenant. I thought it was weird. Mitch was referencing an author. Did you say Jack, did you say, did you say Jack London on the? Yeah, yeah. You said Jack London? Yeah. Maybe people will find out if you did or not.

I don't know if you said Jack London. This is a tenant. What you're described is a tenant. I knew the author was Jack London. I don't know if you said Jack London. We have to see the chase. I'm pretty sure I did. I think this is deja vu.

You said the book. It might be a deja vu. I'll shut up. But I saw White Fang. You saw someone on the license plate White Fang again. And he thought it might be, it might be because of the book White Fang. I don't know if he said Jack London. We're going to find out on Tuesday.

I'm pretty sure I did. And then I said it could be a Whitmer Thomas fan, whose first name begins with G. Whitfin G. Yeah. But we're not. That's good theory. But we're not sure yet. We're not sure.

The costume doesn't really fit me. It's kind of a belly shirt. But you got a different shirt than I did. Yeah, we got two different shirts. I don't know why the different color ways, but I like it. The cape's the same. The cape's the same. Yeah, I just got like a more black and gray print, and yours is red and black.

Can I ask the, the Patriots just lost, I'm sad. But can I ask, uh, can I ask my questions that I start the before you? I think we should, I want to, I want to acknowledge before we introduce our guests formally. There's something big going on here. There's something big going on here. Talking about coming back from the dead resurrections. That's right. Mitch.

You know, we're here in October, the spookiest a month. Mm-hmm. Uh, but today in the studio, we have the scary. thing of all, a room full of white men. You and I, it's double-time. Amelia and Emma are both out of town. In their

stead, we have... Let them rip, boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Load. Just the boys. Is that mean you came your pants? Is that what that was?

Yeah. What do you think? There's a way to be classy about it, okay? You say low, we can put it together. Grand Slam Rogic is here, a guest engineering for us, and also guest producing for us. Our buddy, Casey Donahue, Casey's back at Headgum. Wow.

He's back. We were told there was a Casey ban, and yet here you are, just inside the studio, operating their equipment. First I've heard there's a Casey ban. It doesn't really worry if you're not alerted. What a way to let him know live on the air. I don't believe in the Casey ban.

I don't believe in the Casey ban. This doesn't work because I'm here. Exactly. It keeps getting smaller. Here we go. This I'm going to use this. This is the one I use. A little microphone, yeah.

Mitch, you got to give your extra staff over to Nick so it gets even bigger. I want to bring two things up. First off, Casey, you know... Welcome back, baby. Welcome back. We're great to... It's great to have you. We...

And I think you'll be okay with us disclosing this. You screened your... A cut of your movie for me and Mitch. We saw it. It's so great. It's so cool what you accomplished. Congratulations. Do you have an update on...

My love for you is Deep, but the devil loves me deeper. The film you wrote and directed. Yeah. As of today, the day of the recording, We are announcing that we're premiering at Toronto After Dark Film Festival. Whoa. Wow. And depending on whenever this episode comes out, it's probably like happening now, a couple days from now.

This episode is out October 1st. Okay. So in two weeks, we're showing the movie in Toronto. If you're in Toronto or can get to Toronto, go check it out. I love it. Yeah, that's a good. Congratulations, buddy. That's so cool.

Thank you, thank you. How cool it'll be to see that with an audience in a theater? I can't wait. I think it's going to be great. I couldn't have done it without you guys. Mitch has one of my favorite performances. Oh, my God. Every time he shows up for his big moment, it makes me smile.

No, no spoilers, but it's a very fun. Can you give us a tagline for what the movie's about? The movie is about a girl who makes a deal with the devil, and it doesn't go quite as how she hopes if you can believe it. They never do, folks. Is it scary? It's It implies

Scariness That's what I meant Dory Grusome Is it kind of twisted freaky It's kind of sexy freaky Hey Hey You know I travel agent

One fast ticket to Toronto Please The whole thing It's like It's like a You don't have to see The speed Is this ticket

Well I don't You're gonna beat Casey there I got a slow ticket Once The plane never took off Arriving to Toronto, it took me a week. You grow up in the plane?

Got to hit that. If dough boys' listeners show up for the screen. Yeah, check it out. Yeah, I'll be there. Say hi. See high. Watch the seats out.

Roll out those big boys. Here you go, the bottom part of the cane. Okay, great. Congrats, Casey. And Sam, you also separately brought something for us that is thematically linked to. this episode.

I did, yeah. I found some blood. You found some blood? I noticed my boys were looking a little anemic, so I figured I'd offer that to you guys. One sec. Okay, Sam is stepping out. What the what?

Or just stepping away from the mic. Here we go. He's produced a bottle of some sort of concoction. I can't see what it is from here. It says blood on it. It does say blood on it. It's for my boys. Oh!

Very nice. I can pour you one or you can pour yourself one or whatever. By all means, go ahead and pour us. I'd love read it for him. Sam told me that he was a big slop head. Yes, a lot of people are. A lot of people are. Yeah, please.

Now this says blood. 40% BAC. That's what it is. Blood. Wow. 40% blood alcohol content. Have you had one of these shots previously? I tested it up today.

Yeah. There you go. So have you guys? had blood on the pod. Great question, because you do drink cocktail. Bloody Mary? Bloody Mary. Oh, that counts.

Did we do a Bloody Maria? I like the, I'm going to say to this, Sam. I like the look of it. Is this your own concoction? No. It looks nice and viscous. I got it from a hospital. Ooh.

How fun is the word concoction? Really fun. You must say, you must bust it out all the time on Slobby Boys. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Shit. We got to re-editit these episodes. Do some dubbing.

Why is only the top part of your face white? I don't want to do my beard. You didn't even try to do the... Is it much visible undercarriage here? I mean, it just is the top half of your face. Yeah, that's good. Believe it all you're making them self-conscious. All right, cheers, boys.

Cheers. To blood. To blood. The blood. Blah. Oh, that smells really good. Wow. It's boozy.

All right, Sam. Hug us through the components of this. boy. Does anyone have a guess? I'm getting a peach schnops vibeies. Wow. That's one of the parts. Timmy. The man who knows his libations. What a palate.

Juicy juice. Close. Cranberry juice. Vaca. Vaca. And Yeagermeister. Oh. Wow. You come up with that? No, I looked it up. Cool. But. It does look a lot

like blood. You did a good job. It's viscous. Yeah. It's nice and biscuits. I think that's what the Yeager does for it. And it's nice that Yeager didn't, there's not so much that it comes through and tastes like black licorice. It just made it kind of, you know. It's a suggestion.

It's a challenging shot for just a second. Is it like, do you think it's going to be like, whoa? Yeah, it's kind of smooth. And I think the tartness from the cranberry kind of helps like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tart.

Frenette might work in a two instead of a year or something? Yeah, I can see that. We just did a bunch of cranberry. We did cranberry vodka. What else do we do? Kind of at a cran month. We did. The Madras.

Woo-woo. Yep. But that was a while ago. This is kind of a woo-woo in a way. Now it's over. Our UTIs are all back, so. They come back fast and strong. We all have the same one.

Share a UTI? Yeah. I thought that was delicious. That was really, yeah. It's more blood if you want. Is blood, is blood? Is Blood Dracula's favorite drink or his favorite food? I think it's both.

He's on a liquid diet. Right? Because he can't eat, he can't just have like a bowl, like a side of Wendy's chili, right? He can't just eat normal food. Well, who says he can? Does he eat to, uh, does he eat for pleasure?

Yeah, that's what I know. There is a sexiness element to it. I think it depends on the, it depends on, I think, the interpretation of Dracula, but I think a lot of versions of Dracula can't ingest and digest food normally. I think they're just having blood. That's the thing that's when they're drinking blood, they are horny, right? I get some horny sometimes. Yeah.

Loads. We also have a couple of Do Boys live shows. A couple of. We have more than a couple, Mitch. We have a quintet of Doe Boys live shows coming up in November. That's right, Wig. November 17th will be in Houston, November 18th in Dallas, November 19th in Austin, and November 25th in Boston. From Austin to Boston. Blueston.

Right. Anyway, come out, come on out in November, 17th in Houston, 18th of Dallas, 19th, Austin, 25th in Boston, tickets at birdfuck.com slash live. Mitch, you got a drop to play. I do have a drop to play, but first, may I ask the question? Do you want, do you want to ask it before we introduce the guess? Uh, hmm.

I should have gotten, I should have gotten drops for the month, huh? I should have gotten specific drak drops. It's hard to do because then you're spoiling what the, before the first episode. Maybe once the, once we get rolling here. Okay, all right. Yeah. All right. Hit them with a drop, Sam.

Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. The channel March Bitch to Viagra and he nutted in the shower train Impossible Wapper Working late

And shoot loads In the drows This show Well, Well, whigs That one won me over. Hey, no fam, here's a drop About the Do Boys

Podcast love Seagulls. It was Seagulls. Wow, Seagulls, thanks for sending that in. Drops at Birdfuck.com. Seagles is a band. Yeah. Yeah.

Shit. Oh. Well, we're a band, too, so. We're not impressed. So, uh, we're not impressed. Oh, shit. Uh, you sure are. We're thrilled to have you, as always.

In studio. Well, I want to ask my question before you introduce a guest. Okay, go ahead. Remember it was a hard-hitting question that I asked before. Right. What happened to your cane? I just got sick of holding it. It's 10 feet long.

Do you think the employees of Spirit Halloween are like, The Gandalf canes got mixed in. Oh, Dracula's have a cane. All the Gandals have fangs. Oh, no. To our three guests, and you know why, we can include Casey in this, too. Sam, I think you already, maybe, we asked you this already. What's your stance on Drax?

And also, what's your history with the original blood-sucking fanatic? Do I introduce them? Do you introduce them now or do the answer? You need to do some now that the question has been dropped. The question has been dropped. Our guests are on notice from the birthday boys and the sloppy boys. Jeff Dutton, Mike Hanford, and Tim Calpagas are here. Hello.

Hello. What is up? What's your stance on drag? Draculas? I'm anti. Anti. Anti. Just as a blanket rule.

And then my relationship? Poor. Poor. Wow. Why? Damn. I'm a little more nuanced than Tim. I take it on a drag by drag basis. Wow, I like that. None of these blanket sort of rejections, but never met one.

You never met a drag. Until now you're in between two of them. How about that? I like in the mummy, or the mummy, the monster world, like mummy and werewolf. I like drag. I like him. It seems like he's in the middle. I like his thing. Is he or like, you kind of got the fucking...

Brangenstein? Yeah, the Mount... the Mount Rushmore, if you will. The rat pack of monsters, you know, you got the... I would say Dracula would be, like, shooting over the top of it on a motorcycle type of. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that's, he's that big.

He's the guy. But who's the fan favorite? Is Frankenstein the fan favorite? Yeah, you got Dracula, you got Frankenstein, you got the mummy, you got the Wolfman. I say Wolfman. And then who else you throw in, like, the... Invisible Man. If you had to pick four, though, who did you put in the Black Lagoon?

Four. If you had to pick a Moat, Rushmore. If you pick four, okay. Dracula, Frankenstein, mummy, wolfman. I think that's it, right? For the classics, but I would say, I would put, like, Freddy up there above. Sure, you can throw in your freddies, you can throw in your jigsaws. You know, you can throw in them.

No, no jigsawls. Your contemporary baddies, that's fine. You're saying Dracula, Wolfman, Frankin. You can throw Megan in there. That's good, that's good. Dracula, Wolfman, Frankenstein, and the mummy? Yeah. Mummy?

I don't like mummy, though. Oh, man, I love mummy. I would swap mummon. me for creature. Wow, that's interesting. Oh, Black Lagoon? Mm-hmm. I can't even picture him. He's not famous. The Gillman. He's the creature like the shape of water

Gillman? Just like, kind of. He's just generally, I think, depicted as green. He hasn't had much in the last few years. Yeah, we didn't. No, he never has. I would argue invisible man is bigger than both of them. Well, you know, I'm going to do this year if people invite me to a Halloween party, but like, oh yeah, I'll be

there. I'll be dressed as invisible man. And I can stay home and sleep. Why are you getting rest and then go to the party? I don't want to go party with these people. Are psychos, man. There's going to be cocaine. Don't go to this party.

I know. These people are crazy. Did all these monsters, when the mummy flopped and they, like, Universal canceled all their monster movies? The new, the new dark universe. The new dark universe. Did all these guys have movies in the works? Which mummy?

Which mummy are you referring to that flop? Tom Cruise. The Mummy or Lee Cronin's the mummy. Okay. Lee Kronin is the money. No, I think the Tom Cruise mummy was the one. Tom Cruise. And the Lee Kronin one's a more recent one.

He's new. Yeah. Which I also think don't induce it so well. Tom Cruise. Yeah. Tom Cruise is the one that killed the Dark Universe because they had like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with Russell Crow. Oh, that was happening.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Does Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde does that go on the Mount Rushmore? That's pretty big tier. And is that two spots. They had a Javier Bardem Frankenstein. They had a Johnny Depp, Invisible Man. They had a whole bunch they were working on.

Can you imagine putting all your money on Tom Cruise and it's like, like one of his only flops in 20 years. Like, do that. Like, he had night and day. K&I with like Cameron Diaz. That's one flop. There was one other one that was a flop. Other than that, 20 hits.

Even your Reachers, the smaller ones are still hits. I guess Reacher never go back kind of didn't do as well. But Reacher, Jack Reacher's great. Reacher's not big enough for Tim's dad. My dad reads the Reacher books. He said that in the books, Reacher's hands are the size of turkeys. No, he's a big fucking guy.

Yeah. They intentionally addressed that with the Amazon series. Yeah, it says size of turkey. Does he like the Amazon series where he is big? I haven't shown it to him. I'm going to wait until Christmas and blow his mind. He's going to be pumped. This is the best Christmas average.

I finally love to. They're the size of turkeys. Mitch, I think you should ask Casey your question. I will ask Casey my question. Okay. But first, reach averse the mummy. Reach averse the mummy? Like who would win?

No, I'm saying that's a fun idea. That is a fun idea. I think that the people, I think Tim's dad would love it. He'd forget all about the turkey. We'd love that Reacher's fighting the mummy. Casey? Yeah. What's your stance on Drax?

And what's your history with the original blood-sucking fanatic? I like Drax. I think all Dracks matter. I love the Coppola Dracula is my favorite. I love the muscles too that he wears. Do you like a more animalistic drag or do you like a more sophisticated drac?

Sophisticated drac. Sophisticated Dracula would be a Bram Stoker's Dracca. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Versus like a Robert Ayer's Nosphoratou I feel like it's more like a good

from Dust till dawn as he still last week. Nogh Ratu. I like the pronunciation. Ooh, that sequel. Oh yeah. That's fucking good. I wouldn't even thinking about that.

I like a sophisticated, sexy blood-sucking freak. Of course, I have one in my movie, so why wouldn't that? That's true. Did you see that? What did you think about the Ager's Nusferatu? I like that. I like all of Ager's stuff.

I can't wait for the werewolf to come out. Even when I don't fully connect with one of his movies, I just like big swings. He just has an aesthetic and ghost warret. Did he do Lighthouse too? Yeah, and his Dracula like stinks. Like, he does it. He smells bad?

Yeah, he's, no, Jeff is right. He's putrid. Yeah. And yet women lusts for him. He's got a big mustache, too. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

I'm not sure about Eggers. Sometimes behind his back I call him rotten Eggers. I know you know this. He's about to drop a few Eggers. Hey, it's the boys. It's the boys. Do what you like, my man. Let him rip. No.

Oh. So Mitch had his Dracula question. I have one of my own. Uh-oh. This is a segment we're doing all month with our guests. Our Dracula version of Would You Rather? Would you Dracther? So would you Dracther be weakened by sunlight or be allergic to garlic?

Oh, garlic. You pick the garlic. You know what's funny? I had Zanku chicken today and I had some of that garlic sauce. This is hours ago. I'm still tasting. That's ultimate garlic. Yeah.

How allergic to sunlight are you? It's like it makes you weaker. It doesn't get to kill you. You're not going to light on fire. Both of these are more grounded versions of Dracula's attributes. Sure. You're not going to want to go for a hike. Yeah.

You're not going to want to go to the beach. Okay. And if you are, you're going to spend the whole time under an umbrella. That's what I'm doing anyway. I mean, we were all weakened by the sun today. It was hot. Yeah. That's true.

So I'm going garlic. Wow. You're going, you want to keep the garlic. Oh, shoot. I'm going garlic allergy. You're picking that one. Tim, I can't see you getting rid of garlic. You love it.

But I love the sun. I want a tan. You know, like the nightlife. Can you picture Tim without his olive skin? I'd be so sad. I think I do like the sun too much to, like, these are both bad choices, but I think I like the sun too much to opt out of that entirely.

And I think I just excise garlic from my diet. So I think we're all kind of going for the thing you can easily avoid versus the thing that's outside every day all day. Right. Right. What about you? What's your answer? How allergic to garlic are you?

I'm still paying it. It's going to make you sick. But the sun doesn't make you. as sick. Like, you're just kind of sick with the sun fucks you up, man. The sun will fuck you up? Yeah. Either is the thing you're going to want to actively avoid because you're going to be like, that makes

my life worse. That makes me feel like shit. That's already my stance on the sun. It makes my life worse. I do kind of avoid it a little bit. You're a night owl. I'm a night owl. Mitch, you always talk about how you like a Boston summer where you sit inside by the AC. I do love that, I do love that, Captain. Nond on garlic. That's what I want.

man getting rid of garlic forever that's a that is a bummer stuff i think i would though still at the end of the day no i want to be allergic to the sun yeah yeah so i choose it'd be very limiting it'd be very limiting yeah yeah it would be sad to see it go these are not these are not easy questions they're not they're very hard questions that you're throwing at that's the point of it um your character here is allergic to garlic as you can see in the in the artwork that chris van r stealing did well any Any Dracula is. Well, he's holding it. Yeah, we can talk about this next week.

He is holding the garlic. We don't know why. He got, someone underhand tossed him some garlic, and he got surprised by it. He caught instinctively. He got like, smearing off ice by that garlic. Yeah. And now he's like, oh. Get this dog away from me.

We recently, at Calpaccus, we had a little, speaking of the sun, we had a little beach hang. You and me and Moogh and Eva and. Yeah, and we hit up the 3rd Street promenade. Yeah, well, a lot of fun. You were invited. You were invited. Mitch was specifically invited. Yeah, I was invited.

We went to a Hinano Cafe in Venice. Oh, right. Oh, shit. I was, I was. We got a lot of hangs going. Shit, man. You are a man who loves the sun. You love the sun.

I love the sun. That was a rainy day at the beach, which you don't get a lot in L.A. It was really fun. We're having a great time. I was doing two auditions that day on the Sunday. Whoa. Very cool. Hemlets and what else?

Othello. Oh, which part in Othello? The main one. You should not be doing that. Othello is the main part in Othello, correct? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be.

Is that one of his, is this, is it Othello not a good one? I would just not cast you as Othello. Oh, okay. Why not? I'd not get out of the park. He's, there's, it seems like there's more to this. I don't know too much about it.

There's perhaps a racial component. Oh. Casting Othello. Okay, all right. I won't go out for Othello. You know, I'm going to call my agent to tell him not to send the tape in. We went to an auto cafe

that led into the whaler, which is adjacent. Catman, you put me on to vodka martini's recent. Oh, boy. Do you guys want to leave? I'm going to go on time. I was feeling you getting into more concoctions

would not be good. Well, I love gin martinis, but what I was telling you, was I ate a juniper berry. Yes. And it tasted so much like gin that it made me lose respect for gin. I was just like, oh, it's just vodka with these berries in it. So then when I'm ordering a martini with olives or a little bit dirty, you're like, do you really need these berries?

Because they make vodka basically and they do a second distillation with juniper berries. I say lose the berries. Wow. So that's what that is what, that's how gin is created. It's like vodka and then and then you do it with those berries and that that's what else. I just learned this and it kind of turned my world upside on, yeah. I do like the aromatics. I do like that aspect of you.

But it is kind of fun. It's like, I'll mix it up. I get a vodka martini. Why not? See, that's the vibe. Wow. You can teach an old dog nutrition. Yeah, old dog dog.

Let's talk because y'all tour all the time. The dough boys are going on the road. But the slobys, it feels like, are on the road dogs. Oh, you guys are road dogs. Any recent tour eats that we're all known. For the theming of today. Hounds of Hell. Hounds of Hell.

We, uh, buddy's pizza in Detroit over the summer was really good. That was a nice check off the list of a... I'm a Jets Man. Is that a Detroit? I don't know. It's the rival one. It's the rival one. I like Jets.

You know that the rumor is the reason they make paned pizzas because they cooked it with a car pan? Yeah. Do you believe that? I don't know if I believe it. I don't know if I believe that. Well, but I guess I just need to see what one of those pans looks like for a car. I'm picturing something in a car that would not... Because you'd be able to identify an oil pan.

Oh, yeah, for sure. That's what I'm saying. I would need that very much shown to me. What are the famous Detroit eats? You got that deep dish, mum's spaghetti is the next one up. Yeah, right, right, right? Yeah. When we were there, we went, we got some wings that were great.

But I don't remember, yeah, I don't know. Because what were the, they have conies there, right? That's like a Detroit style. Hot dog. They also have, the cony places also have, like, chopped up crumbly hamburger meat on a hot. dog bun. I forget what that's cold. On the outside of the bun?

Like inside the bun. I thought you meant the way like a sesame could be on the outside of a bun. No, but I like that. Yeah, I could probably like do a little crumble up. That's good. I feel like it'll be falling off a little bit, but I do like the idea. Oh, wait a fall in this crazy of a mess. Wait, those are the Greek diners.

Aren't there a bunch of catmen? You might know the answer to this. Isn't there a bunch of Greek diners in, in, in, in, there's a lot of Greeks in Detroit. Greeks in Detroit. And there's even, there's a chain that's called Olga's. That's almost like the Denny's of Greek food, but it's good. It's like you sit down and it's a diner, but they have a big Greek menu. It's great.

Olga also canonically, Star Wars character likes, Olga's Cantina in, uh, at Galaxy's Edge. Is that canon? I don't, I have no idea. Space Canada. Have you seen the Star Wars movie? There are, yeah, I was so shy about it. why are you getting so shy about it? We were having fun when he said Space Cannon.

We all had fun and then you went quiet. Did I am here? I'm going to have fun. Because I wasn't able to formulate a reply. It didn't mean, it didn't enjoy it. I like that he says Space Cannon. We have been getting into Culvers, too. Colvers is very fun.

I must have done this on the show. It's Culver's one of the best, like, as far as play where we were, we had high expectations going in. One of the places that really lived up to them. Yeah. And one of my favorite fast food places, we, regional fast food places we've been to for the podcast. Without feeling too fast food. Right, right, right. No, it's great. Love Culver's.

Tim, I'm going to put you on the spot. You have a funny Culver story where you ordered and had to return. Oh, yeah. Return to the register. First time I went to Colvers, I was with my friend Tristan in Utah, and we ordered our food, and we were sitting down. The food wasn't coming. And then we waited like 45 minutes. And then at that point, I was like, we don't even have time for this.

We got to leave. So I just walked up. I was like, hey, my food didn't come out. Can I get a refund? They're like, yep, here we go. And I was just like, oh, and I looked in the bag and it was like, no one was cooking. I was, we were the only people there. But it was like they were so ready to give a refund.

It felt like they just take orders. This is happening. You get your food. Get your money. Everyone that works, there's 14. That's a weird thing about. Yeah. Right.

A lot of teenagers working there. They also do, they diversify the normal. I didn't even say anything. I just gave me a little look. Yeah. Jesus, Mitch. What do I do? What did he boo?

He didn't boo anything. Coler's puts a little fish on the menu. They do some weird stuff. Yeah, yeah. I've had the walleye. I had the pot roast sandwich, the porkloin sandwich. I'm always exploring the corners of the menu. These guys, oh, butterburger.

You can't blame them for getting that butterburger, though. I love the butterburger. Yeah. Rosen custard. Yeah. He's curds. Yeah. We loved Culver's, but we haven't been back since that one, was it the one trip that we went to Culbers?

We never did it again. We owe a, I mean, yeah, we owe a return visit to Milwaukee. I mean, you know, so we got to go back to Wisconsin. I have a question for you. Yeah. Teeth. Very important to Dracula. What's your favorite main things?

What's your favorite teeth food? Ooh, my first question is, what is his teeth food? Yeah. What are you talking about? Something that I would say most food are teeth food. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're going to come back with most foods or teeth food. I get that.

Do you instead of you really like to have to bite into? That's what I'm talking about. Canny apple touch. Corn on the cop would be a classic one. Why's corn on the cop was the one I was thinking of. But I'm going to have an answer that is, it's the same as my favorite food, which is fried chicken. I feel like that bite into crisp fried chicken and you're getting a little bit of that. That might be the closest Dracula experience you can get, is your, you're crunch and you're, you're crunch and.

through the skin and then and then you're getting the sucking the blood and then you're getting out there the oil you're getting the you're getting the juices

and the oil and I think that might be the closest why. Yeah I guess I never really put a two and two together there but every time

I'm eating fried chicken I'm kind of getting the closest you could get to the tracula experience I would think it's pork shoulder because it's closer to the neck

that is true too yeah that is true what's what's what's the slob boy's favorite to teeth food? Well, let me ask you real quick about the corn and the cob. When you guys eat corn and the cob, do you go typewriter or like around the world?

Yeah. I go around the world and I get a lot of shit from people. I do. I do typewriter. I spin that some bitch. Do you say ding? Spin that thing. I sometimes will say ding depending on the environment.

You're a writer at heart. That is true. Ooh, here's the teeth food, back teeth food. Taffi. Ooh, mombas. I like mambas. Yo, yeah, you turned me on the Mombos.

I love Mombus. If you had a funny joke, we were eating Mambas, he goes, ooh, Mamba number nine. Ooh. This is, we were all together. We were watching Grizzly Man. We were watching Grizzly Man. And we watched overnight, you remember overnight,

you've seen overnight. I've never seen overnight before. Oh, man. This is a documentary about the guy who made Boonog Saints. It is, yeah. It's a really good, like, especially if you were working in stuff in Hollywood, L.A., just seeing the guy, just

make every wrong, like, boastful move. It's very fun to watch. He defies Harvey Weinstein, and it pisses us all. You don't do that. You don't do that. We're yelling at the screen. He's what Harvey Weinstein is one of the cast members. I mean, that's kind of a spoiler, actually.

But it's a great documentary. He's a real piece of shit Boston guy. Right. Which just shows that I always, there's some Boston guys that annoy me. We found out of ours. We're just a bossy guys that annoy me, too. I'm Mitch. I feel like you were vindicated.

because this was an annoying Boston guy, then we looked him up, found out born in Connecticut, went to Exeter. That's true. Fancy boy. He's a fancy big Boston guy. Wow. That's interesting. Did you have a, yeah, that's kind of a little bit of stolen valor, right?

It's like you're, you're pretending like you're this rough and tumble guy from Southie, but then you're a... Yeah, his parents own like a hotel chain. Right, right, right. You would love it while, because it's great. Do you ever Dane, when you're on the road, do you ever Dane to go like, You know what, we've been eating fast food. Let's just go to a nice sit-down meal. You ever treat yourself to that?

Do you ever have that luxury? I'll be honest. We just did it in Detroit. We went to Pegasus Taverna for Greek food. Oh, that was really good. You know, that like flaming Saginaaki. Oh, yeah. It was on fire.

Wow. That was quite a feast. That place was so funny to me because the floor was so slick with just olive oil. Oh, yeah. The windows were kind of greasy. EC too. Just because that's, what would you call the, the, the,

the cheese stuff? Saginaaki. It's like spitting and like all the oils just flying all over them. Spitting and spin it for it. That's not a great meal to bring to a monster's table, Saginaaki, because of the fire element is what I'm saying. Could scare certain monsters.

Frankenstein right off the gate is going to be scared. And then Dracula is a little bit afraid of fire, isn't he? I don't know how much he's, yeah, I don't know how much that's natural. A little bit. He's famous like a little bit. flames and stuff. He might desire fire.

The mummy might be afraid of, like, catching fire. Sure. That's one. And then the creature in the Black Lagoon, he's from water, so for him, fire is foreign. Frankenstein, stay home tonight. We're bringing Beavis. Oh, right. Yes, and Butthead.

You never let me finish. Beavis is coming to this Greek meal because they're having fire or this is separately. Beavis is going with the monsters. They're swapping in. Frankenstein's out. Beavis is in. Got it, okay. Is he going to get a cordioteo to sort of fit?

That's scary. Right. Universal cancelled the Beavis movie, or is that still? Yes, that was, Beavis was a part of the dark universe. Man, we were in, when we're in epic universe, Mitch. Yes. They have. The Beavis Ride was being created.

The Beavis Ride was being created, but the biome they have is the dark universe. And it's pretty fucking cool. They have reclaimed that. And dark universe is cool. And then the right. the ride Monsters Unchained is so fucking good. It's like an amazing, like, a thrill ride where, like, and you know what?

It delivers the monsters becoming unchained. And here's the thing. I'll say this. Dracula is the main baddie. He's the star of the show. He ought to be. But I'm going to say this. Frankenstein, choose your side.

Because Frankenstein is helping out the humans in this thing. He's betraying Dracula. I like Frankinstein. Well, this is because Victoria Frankenstein, who, like, created him. This is like the new, the new sexy lady Frankenstein. Loading. Is that what you said? Or load.

I just said load. Oh, loading sounds like you're repairing to load. You're getting a boater. You're working up to it. Loaded. I, I, uh, I, uh, I, we both fell in love with Victoria Braintstein. She was beautiful. Oh, it's love.

I think that he is defending her as much as anything. Yeah, I know, but still, he always is always, like in a monster squad. He's like turning his back on the, on the, he's made from human parts. He doesn't really want to be a monster You know, I don't like that He should be a part of the gang But he was very He is what?

You have an issue with this? No, I mean, I think it's kind of interesting For him to be like a more A conflicted, more complex character, you know? He's like he's bad He's grouped in with the monsters They treat him like a monster like a freak But at heart he is like a human being

And he is trying to reclaim his humanity And then define himself as such I think it's kind of interesting interesting. He's a depth to him. I think bringing Beavis. Bring him, get out, Frankenstein out for good. He does not have that much complexity going on. So, yeah. Was there anyone, was anyone cast as him in the dark universe?

Was there any actor that was cast as the Beavis? I think it was Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell's Beavis. Beautiful Beavis. You know what's a monster in that world? The Wolfman, I like, I like the Wolfman monster. I think it's like a fun story and a guy like his like skin kind of

ripping open. And that's the guy who's that's the guy who's like, I'm human sometimes. fucked up for it. You know what I mean? Right. Because he's got a really tough, just like the moon could be out of his whole life. Not when he's in monster mode. But I feel like those movies, it's been like, werewolf movies have been tough to, like not, they're not coming out. Like, they're getting written and almost made and they never like.

Yeah. They haven't, they haven't knocked out of the park with a where, there's new eggers one coming, right? Right. Oh, right. Bearvolve. Yeah. Vervolve.

I know, but still, they haven't got, they haven't done a great one in a while hand, man. You're 100%. But I remember there was, there was that one. where the director just kept getting switched out and it never got made. Or it did get made and it was like boring. Yeah. American werewolf in London is still one of my favorites.

Owl. Oh. The howling, you see the howling? Howling's good too, Jeff. I like that one as well. Don't tell me the end or you'll get a skelling. Come on, pick it up here. This is not good, man.

We're fine. I'm not. It's hard for him because he's an expert podcaster. Let's go, man. Let's not air. What's going wrong? The paint is it... I think you were doing better

when you were holding your cane, to be quite honestly. What am I doing wrong? What's the problem? What's the issue? Nothing's the issue. I'm with hamphers. Oh, I was just fucking around.

What's been fun? Did we stop having fun? I'm having a fucking blast here. No, we're having fun. We're having fun. We're having fun. Now I don't want to be here. Let's talk steak.

Oh. That's what we're doing this month. They took you up for a nice meal. Yeah, we only had you drive an hour and a half to a steakhouse to... Let me tell you about after that night, this wasn't from the food, but I was sick from the birthday boys hang over the weekend. And I slept for 14 hours then. Wow. 14 hours.

I was not feeling too good that day. Did you... Wait, we were on someone's couch. At any point, I woke up, yeah. After the 14 hours, yeah. We had some salty sleeps. Did you guys have some salty sleeps? Did you guys have salty sleep?

I said a little bit of salty sleep. Yeah. You got to have a salty sleep. You mean, where you're saying that, you mean you're getting, you're getting a little sweaty. I mean, like, after sushi, if you're dunking in the soy sauce a lot, in the middle of the night, you wake, I'm going to go, p. Like a model tea car? And you got to have a big water next to bed. I'll be all shriveled out.

I'm pretty tiny when I'm salted. I like that. I go in the shower. Fill that thing up. Hey, lad. Dousson is one. spot and will not fompa out the way the rest of it is. Like one of those dinosaur sponges.

So we went to Texas Roadhouse. We're talking about one second. But before we get there, I want to talk generally about the steakhouse experience. What you cut? What's your temp? Tell us you cut and tell us your temp. Ribide medium rare. Okay, Mitch, put me down. Ribby medium rare.

So I guess like 145 is the degree. That's the good Do we have to know the temp? I don't know. Mitch is the one asked. You can say medium, rare, rare. You can do that.

I'll be the fancy boy. I'll say filet. Medium rare. Wow. I was saying, don't. Hampered, you're up. I got, are we talking about what we got or what our favorite cuts? Let's just talk in general.

I like a prime rib cut. Okay. Because I like that au reju, and I like to source. And you guys know the cuts. The way you're picking your cut. I just do filet because that's like when my parents sort of indoctured me like that's the fancy. You like the ten minutes.

You want to cut through the fork. But I would like to do a thing with you guys. You're the steak guy, so I figured it'd be Tim if I ever do this, where I go one to the other and I get to like notice the differences. So it's not like, oh, yeah, two months ago I had a steak. Let's try to compare it to the steak guy at two months. I better be the guy. I would be so sad if I found out the fact that you would hand for it had a steak night where you sampled all the cuts. They were like, oh, we forgot to tell you.

That's right. You like steak. Right, right. You're reading a book about the different cuts of steak. Mike, you and I, that's the same cut. Prime rib and ribby, it's the same part of the cow. Yours is roasted. Mine is toasted.

See? Wow. I didn't know that. Tim, I did not know that. I told you you can shadow me. Follow me around. Learn of you. I told you, I'm in.

Mitch, what's your answer? Speaking of just shadowing, that's a fun part about Dracula's lore, too, is the shadow. The shadow kind of does its own thing. It kind of does its own thing. Why is that? I don't really get it. Like Peter Pan. It is a little bit like Peter Panney.

Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of has a mind of its own. I mean, maybe it has something to do with how he doesn't cast a reflection. You know, it's almost like separated from him. Ooh, that's fun. You know, in some sort of like celestial way. I don't know. Yeah, yeah.

And does he disappear into the shadows? He can do that, yeah. Like spawn or like. Yeah, oh, no, he can do that. Oh, he can do that. He turns in the mist. He talks about this next. He turns to a bat, too.

He turned to a bat. He doesn't. And a wolf. And a wolf. Which, by the way, stepping on Wolfman's thing a little bit. That's kind of, yeah, I forget. Like, sometimes you'll see him turn into stuff that's not a bad.

You're like, all right, he does that. You can only turn to the wolf for a few seconds. I don't know if that's canon or not, but he can only do it for just a few seconds. In Castlevania, somebody in the night, Alucar can only turn into a short duration. So I'm going to say that is canon. Okay, it is just a few seconds.

Yeah, yeah. I think he turned into like a snail for an hour. The smaller the... If he needs... The smaller the animal, the longer than the term. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mosquito for a year. You can turn into an amoeba basically indefinitely.

You know, I might do it a mosquito year. Because they drink blood, so that's easy for him. Yeah, it's a one-to-one. Do you think that's a... Jackula. Oh, that's good. Oh, Jack Blacula. Well, I don't know what that would be.

It would be Jack Black, dresses Dracula for Halloween. Make me laugh. It's not a movie or anything? No, it's just an idea for what you can do for Halloween this year. Oh, we've got to get in touch. I was... Never mind. want to say it. Come on. He's trying to

jerking off. Jackal. Oh, God. I was, like, if Dracula was jacking off, do you think his shadow could, like, you know, like, make, like, a sexy shape so he could jack, you know what I'm saying? So he's like jacking on, and like his shadow is is visualizing his fantasy. Yes, yes, yes. I think, I was just putting my head, I was just

thinking that's something he could do. I think he could do that. Yeah. Or the shadow's doing the reach around. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty nice Not of the ladies in here, yeah. So I will say that, Mitch, I want to know your answer about steak. But I, like, I will. Wise, I was raised as a flea mignon boy. As a little boy, that was the first piece of steak I was given.

Well, medium well was the cook. Toss in your cage. It was placed on a plate in my cage. I have now become a rib-eye boy, medium rare. That's what I evolved into. It's just the tastiest of the sticks. Tim will tell you.

No, I feel like this is the thing. And I'm just repeating whatever else is saying, but it's my go-to is also become a rabbi, medium rare. But I will also say I will dabble with a New York strip. That's allowed. You know what? I want to have, I'll just mix things up. We'll just have things a little bit of a different kind of me.

Not to blow. That's the other side of your fillets. You've got to. T-vone, there's a filet on one side to strip on the other. I would never venture over there. You never did. I would never. I don't cross those lines.

I don't mean to spoil here, but I think you opted for one in, when we, when we drove 90 minutes. I very well may have, Mitch. We'll get to that in one second. Steakhouse Five. You want fancy? Oh, you want a little kitschy. You want a little kitsy. Um, I can, what does Kitchie count?

What about old school? Yeah, like I guess that's a, do you want like an old school sort of vibe? I think you go old school, upscale, kitsy. I think those are the three options. Okay, got it. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like a lot of, for me, and I love steak, I do think a lot of the like wag you grades of fancy meat is maybe a little lost on me, or maybe it's above my price point. Maybe someday. But I go more of a like a Muso and Frank or a Keens or just old, old one. I agree with that. that sort of, that sort of energy. I mean, actually, speaking of Wagyu,

and the service was incredible, but we were in Japan, we went to a steakhouse and got a Wagyu tasting with two different, like, it was like, it was like eight ounces of meat total, but it was so fucking rich. It took like an hour to eat,

and then we felt sick after that. Did you yell at the chef about this? What's that? That was a bad experience. Yeah, no, that was the thing. It was just like, it was like, this is delicious, but like, I want like one bite of this. You know, I don't want this to be my entire meal.

And they also... Do you go into the kitchen and say, this was, it was, it was, It took us an hour to eat, and it was way too delicious. It was, were you yelling at the people? No, we were having a great time. The service was great. I was chopping it up with everyone.

But I'm just saying, like, no, I wasn't. You overestimate how much people in Japan to love. They loved me. They loved me. They loved me. They did not. They didn't. They weren't. You've never been the life of the party. Come overseas with people.

Land to the rising sun. I'm fucking killing. On the other side of the world, you're the life of the party. Did anyone walk by the table? They're like, wait, wait, wait. Wigur, wagg you. Wait, wait, let me see about getting this right. They know them immediately.

Yeah. I would pull the wag meat. That would settle everything. Get a little mnemonic for him. They knew it was so rich because it was like, all it was was two cuts of meat and then they had a, they had a, like, a side of greens. And then the appetizer was like a cold watermelon soup. Ooh. Oh.

Yeah. And so, like, that was it. And it was like. You got some booze out of us in that one. What were the greens out of curiosity? I was just like a, like, I mean, I couldn't even identify them. It was just like, it's kind of like a bunch of local greens. Mysterious greens.

Yeah, mysterious greens. And watermelon soup sounds fantastic. Yeah, it was good. It was like a sweet soup? Yeah, a little sweetness to it, a touch of it. But it was like still savory. Can I be honest with you? Yeah.

Get plate should have brought me. We would have had a blast the three of us. The three of us, so I'm not going? Yeah. They swap me out for you. For me, yeah. He's going to drive the ship. Oh, you and whoever.

So I'm there? Oh, wait, no, you're driving the ship here. What? So I'm still doing the show remotely. You don't get played here by yourself. You can get whatever guests you want on there. I think I know just the one. We would have a great time.

We would have a great time. We went to Japan together. I will say that Maybe someday The slops Have the slops ever gone Have the slops? The slops did go international

Yes Oh yeah Toronto and Vancouver Oh I thought you Didn't you guys go I thought you went to Switzerland But we didn't play music Oh yeah

It doesn't count So it's kind of a Swiss Miss We That's Swiss Miss Good call like Swiss Miss Uh yes We've been looking in to go to Japan To play

But we just have not Have any hits No interest Well, we just haven't had the right. I have several people who are like, yeah, I can help you out with that. And I'm like email and they're like, uh, that's, it can't happen right now. It's not with you. But no.

Wags can tell you about the four-story sex story you went to. Yeah, I told the story of the podcast before, but yeah, I went to a four-story sex store. Um, with the top two floors were for men only. Was it, was it, was, you mean like sex toys and lubs and? Yeah, it was a, how many times it'd load echo throughout that? I'm telling the story for like a third time of the podcast, but like, I'm telling the story for, like, I'm telling the third time of the podcast, but, like I, there's, the bottom two floors, um, were, uh, where, we're, for, for all genders and the top two floors were men only. And so I was, I was on the second floor and I say like, oh, is it when the men

old, I stayed aloud to myself like, oh, there's the men's only floor. And a, uh, another customer says to be in English, like, that's where all the good stuff is. Whoa. Yeah. And then I went upstairs and then the, the third floor was, uh, basically oops all fleshlights. It was like, like, like every, every single kind of fleshlight. Um, some of them were, it sounds like, People were they're spilling them all over the place in there. It's crazy when you go into a store like that. I'm imagining like a Funko Pop store. Yeah.

Where there's just like a warehouse full of only items that exact size lining the entire wall. Was it like that? It was that sort of thing. But they were all like like like like these are to certain like JV stars. These are certain like you know porn stars. These are to certain like fucking like anime characters. Aliens and stuff. Yeah, exactly.

They're all themed to different characters. They're all different sizes and shapes. And then you go to the top. top floor and the top floor was... They got Pikachu. They probably had some, if not an officially licensed Pikachu because they doubt Nintendo would authorize that. They probably had some sort of Pikachu

simulacual. Wow. Yeah. It was true. He did authorize it. And you go to the top floor and the top floor was like straight up real dolls. And a lot of them were in cages, which was a weird, like, part of the tablet. Oh. Oh. Bada told me that a businessman purchased you. He thought that you were a sex doll. I hit him with one there.

Shushed him on the way out He was like telling the clerk like Look at this mouth Look how wide it is It can't be a human being There's the other thing is that on the men only floors The all the customer service People were women

Which was another thing of like This is either Oh you couldn't let him rip Well I think I think my suspicion is Hey go downstairs if you're gonna rib My suspicion is those dual purpose of Again I'm rehashing this the podcast It was dual purpose of like like hey it's okay to be here

Like whatever it's cool You're not a weirdo But then also like like you're going to be on your best behavior. You're not going to just start jacking off here. That's very funny. I mean, creepy, too, I guess. Jagging off to be here.

That's so sad to be jack off to have real dogs. It's normal for you to be here. Do you want us to gift wrap your cage? That's so funny. Like, oh, there's ladies up here. I bet that jack up. But it was like guys working out like, oh, yeah, we can jack off. Frank away.

Sam, you're, like, in addition to being a sloppy boys fan yourself, you have a, you, you are also a musician, you have a band Guck. Mm-hmm. What is touring life like with Guck? Well, we've only toured the States, but our plan is to play in Japan because we're playing with this band, this will have already come out. Yeah. This has happened, but this band Melt Banana from Tokyo in a couple weeks. That's awesome. That's awesome.

You know it? Yeah, yeah. And they're fucking amazing. I've been a fan of them forever. So I want to be buddies with them and hopefully having them bring us over. Where and when is that show? This is his first time out there? September 26th.

So that will have already happened. But maybe they're going to book a tour with us and fly us out to Japan and that'll happen. Oh, God. Wow. You know, we dog it on the road. We're in a van. It's very not making any money. Do you have a go-to roadie?

We brought a merch person with us, and that kind of changed everything, actually. Explain. Just to have someone do T-shirts right after you play. Yeah. You zoomed so far out on my face. I don't know. And yeah, just to balance out the dynamic of the band If anyone's being salty and blah blah blah

And doesn't want to drive and they didn't play So they can, you know, just helps a lot Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was worth every penny of helping. Why the fuck don't we do that? We do. We have two people travel with us. We're talking about.

Yeah, they yell at us. They're not going to sell merch for us either. Wait a minute. They could, but I mean, like we, like it's, it's a lot to travel with inventory. They're going to hear this. We were going to do this later, but this might be just the perfect time. The sloppy boys got you two.

Some gifs here. Some vinyl collections of the first three albums. This is sick. We're selling these on the road and online, but it's our first three albums. It's so generous. Jeff designed that whole thing, and each vinyl itself is its own kind of candy color-looking thing. That's amazing. Thank you so much.

Do you have a record player or they sound nice? Yeah, I imagine these guys both have records. I don't like a record play. This is not for your DJing. You picked up a record player from that four-lost story sex shop. The album's Paradiso, Dancing on the Wind, and Lifelong Vacation.

Wow. I'm honored. Those are good. It's so far to have a piece of physical, yeah, of course. Piece of physical media. So, Sam, I think you, I understandably misheard me because I think I asked if you,

I was asking about Road Eats. I think you heard Roadie. Yeah. Road eats. I mean, Taco Bell is like the best solution because you can get veggies and beans and like...

Oh. You can't? I don't know, man. Taco Bell on the road? Dog food style, but it's... You don't hit it there? Do you rip any? Yeah, I mean...

A band full of boys. Yeah, I think it's... I think it's... See? Oh! She's really nice. Well, we were just talking about Taco Bell because we like it as a

as a late-night munchy food and you're eating weird little toy food. But then I told my parents I like Taco Bell and they were like, we went for lunch and we had the black bean bowl and the roast chicken and I was like, where did you even find

that on the minute? I only had the crunch wrap Supreme. Your father had a turkey the size of Richard's head. Casey, have you been to Japan? I have not been to Japan. Ooh, we've got to get you over there. Would love to go. You've been?

No. This is a big point of contention with Wags and I Not really Yeah, it's fine I just, I wanted to go to Japan with the show Oh yeah, yeah At one point

And then Yeah, yeah So how did you feel When he went with his other show? I was how I would have been mad I don't know if he didn't go Mitch didn't encourage me to go

Which I didn't want to go But that's kind Uh, Japan does a lot of horror Do they have like a Dracula Any Japanese Dracula Who that would be kind of Question hands They have their own stuff

Yeah They have their own like Monsonson They got the ring and the grudge And all Ring and grudge girl Ooh, those are scary. They have their own stuff, but also...

There might be a Dracula. I bet they have some sort of Dracula. I mean, Godzilla's sort of their Dracula, is he not? That's interesting. He's big. He's big. He's big. He's big.

He's big. I can Google this, too, if you want to be able to do. He's not biting necks as much as knocking down municipal buildings. I would say, yeah, I guess it's kind of the same. I would say, he's causing havoc. Godzilla is more Japan's Frankenstein. Okay. Because he's a creation of science gone wrong.

And also, he does not mean. to, he is not a vengeful, like, vengeful creature, he's not evil. He is just, like, you know, agitated. But who's your Godzilla, though? I like scary Godzilla, though. I like a scary Godzilla. Evil, mean Godzilla and not silly Godzilla. No, I don't want to be silly, of course. Why, I'll tell you what the answer is what that comes up right away.

You've mentioned it before. Castlevania. Sure, Castlevania. They call the Castlevania franchise in Japan, just Dracula. Really? It's called Dracula. Hey, it's the hour mark. You know what that means?

round two of blood shots Dracula's thirsty wise I don't think I'm going to do another blood shot because I'm going to fall asleep Let's talk about The blood should reinvigorate you That's the lure of Dracula You can sleep all day

I'll pour you I'll do one with you You're Dracula Dutts You can't be in the sun A day walker is going to do it with me Instead of you a night walker I think it's great That Dutton is doing it with you

but yeah if I have one I'm going to fall asleep and I gotta drive home let's talk about bread you go to a steakhouse what kind of bread you want let's talk about bread garlic you want garlic

I can't take that shot of I like that buttery garlicky type bread yeah I can't take that shot of alcohol go to sleep instead I'll talk about bread that will keep me up you fool ooh the blood spilled garlic bread is an interesting choice

at a steakhouse I like it I was thinking of like a classic sort of role you know what I mean Like just like a, like, yeah, like a hot. Thank you. I do like fresh, I like fresh hot. Fresh hot bread made on campus. I do like, I enjoy that.

Made on campus is fun. I'm going to eat a lot of a college mess halls. Cheers. Cheers, Sam. Cheers, Drex. Jeff, Jim and Drek too? Wow. Hell yeah.

Sam is a one. I like a, I like when there's like a cheese bread basket. You know like at the smokehouse or Drek. Yeah, the smokehouse is great. You know what? The smokehouse in Burbank, they're famous. They tell everyone that George Clooney loves that cheese bread. I wonder how many times he actually went to the smokehouse.

This guy looks like he stuffs himself on cheese bread. Mitch told me about your bread. Wait, what? What kind of steakhouse bread do you like? I like, I told you. A fresh break on campus loaf. Yeah. You know what?

I do like a fresh, I do like a, I know it's kind of almost boring, but a fresh hot sourdough bread that's sliced and hot. That's not born at all. And salty butter? Great answer. Oh, I do like a, I do really like a fresh, I just think that the rolls, well, I actually talk about this with penthouse foods. And now we should maybe talk about penthouse breads.

What are the penthouse breads? Are there any penthouse breads? I feel like bad bread can be so bad. Yeah, that's true. Garlic bread might be a penthouse bread. What's that? Penthouse? So the idea of a penthouse food is it's got a high floor.

So like, for instance, like the kind of the Urig. example was coconut shrimp. I was like pretty much any place you get coconut shrimp, it's like, it's like, hey, this is pretty good. We're like, well, coconut shrimp is always going to be good. It's got a high floor. You can't really biff it. You can't really biff it. I think that sourdough bread has, is closer to a penthouse bread than say a roll because you can get some bad rolls. I think I'm like, I think you're more likely to get bad rolls. I, but I think also that like, especially people who make sourdough, like our like our video editor of bike would be, would say

like you get like a bad sourdough from the grocery store that's this cold sourdough. It's like that just fucking sucks. You know what I mean? It's basically an edible. Mike, can you, first give me fangs. And then also turn me into a bat right now. You're holding me.

You're holding the bat. You're holding the bat. What's your body is flopping around? Mitch, you know something I'm surprised that kids buy today, that we weren't buying as kids. What's that, Wags? Food delivery. Because these food delivery apps are available on mobile devices, and this wasn't a thing that we grew up with. It's true.

But now, you know, kids are ordering food to their domiciles. It's right, Wags. Kids are ordering food to their domiciles. Back when we were kids, though. You had to do the rotary dial? Oh, pizza man? Yeah. Send me a pizza.

This is the operator. Who are you trying to connect with? Pizza man, please. Oh, the pizza man, let me connect you with Luigi over at the pizza parlor. This is Luigi at the pizza parlor. Hey, Luigi, how you doing? Oh, hey, oh, it's a Mr. Mitchell. Oh, you're hungry for my biggest pizza, I assume.

Yes, your biggest pizza. Oh, now you got me to talk like you. Oh, hey, that's why what we Italians do. We make other people Italian. Or one last thing. Stay out of my neighborhood. This is the operator. Is your full call completed?

Oh, no, it happened to me too. For all of the parents out there with teenagers, we know you're already trying to keep a million different things under control. Cash app is here to make sure your teen's money and their spending isn't added to that craziness. That's right, Wags. It's never too early for it. That's right, Wags. And you know what?

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a Block Inc. brand. Visit cash.com slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Losing weight is one thing, but looking and feeling your best, that's the real goal. That's why weight loss by Hymns now offers access to the FDA-approved Wagovi pill in Wagovi Pen. Wagoe is designed to help you lose weight and keep it off so you can show up feeling like yourself. That's right, Wigke. With Wagoe at Hymns, lose up to 20% of your body weight. combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep weight off.

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You'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. Well, as you know, I've talked about it. I take a GLP1. It's changed my life. And also, I use Hems. This is true. Tim's to get quite a few medications.

And I love it. It's very easy to use. It comes right to your door. And I have one pill that covers a lot of different things. But, Wags, I know that we've talked about GLP ones on the show. Yeah. I've definitely benefited a lot from GLP ones as well. And specifically, Wagovi, the pill, which I found so easy to use and so effective and

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I'm curious what kind of shopper you are. Because, you know, whether you're getting into running, starting a fitness or weight loss journey, you're already a gym regular, whatever you're doing. We're always looking for better gear. Well, Wax, you know what? The Quincy Boys just had a little golf outing this last weekend. I was looking at some cold golf shirts recently. And I did it at one of my new favorite places on the web. We're talking about fabletics.

Here's the thing. At the same time, it was cool. Because it's true. Here's the thing. We both love fabletics. and you see the lower prices and you're like, hey, are we going to compromise on quality? The answer is no.

This is good stuff. It's very wearable. It's durable. It's comfortable. It's premium-feeling active wear. Why, you're always wearing your Fabletics stuff around. I'm always wearing my Fabletics. It's premium-feeling active wear that you're getting without paying premium prices.

Wags, I love my hoodies from Fabletics. I got some shorts from there, some sweatpants. And you know what I love the most about them? They look good. One. Yeah. Two, you can agree. agree with me on this one. They're comfy as hell.

They're comfy as hell. And also, I will just say, I can be a very meticulous shopper, as I may have said. This has made shopping easier because you know you can find pieces that work together. You know, you don't have to stress out about it. The convenience of getting this active wear and golf apparel, lounge pieces. I'm not even

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Wow. What a deal. Let's talk Texas Roadhouse. It's founded in 1993 in Clarksville, Indiana by W. Kent Taylor. That's right. Texas Roadhouse is from Indiana, Mitch. Wow. 800 locations across the U.S. about, it's also in places like Bahrain, Kuwait. It feels like a lot of these chains, American chains have presences in the Middle East. Also, Texas Roadhouse is affiliated with Bubba's 30. We need to, when people go over and do the React Comedy Festival, they need to eat.

They got to. It has to happen. They have American food. They have Texas Roadhouse over there. It's okay to do comedy there. I agree. They also own Bubba's 33 and Jaggers. Has anyone ever heard of these?

No. Is Bubba's a Bill Clinton? Bubba gum? Gump? Or bubble of the two? It's both of those. That's what the 3-3 stands for. I heard you were friends with Farris.

We've never reviewed it. Here's a question. Who's been to Texas Roadhouse? I see. Who's been to Texas Roadhouse in the past? Because I thought I had been. In fact, when we went to this meal, I was like, oh, yeah, Ben. Then I looked up the Long Beach place I used to go to.

It's the original roadhouse grill. It's a different concept that's very similar. You were talking about. the talk before you got in there. It was all fake? Yeah, no, I'd been to original Groot House grill. Why the hell did I get your autograph? We looked up to you.

We looked at you for guidance throughout this whole theater. You tell me this is worthless? Why are you telling us? You didn't even tell us in there, did you? I didn't realize it until I was doing the research but in advance the episode. Because I was just like, oh, yeah, I've been to the roadhouse. Because I remember the place was called Roadhouse.

And it had a very similar vibe inside. But then I looked up. Is it? Is your place a chain or was it just a one-off that seemed like a knockoff? I think it's just one location. It's a chain. There's one in Florida. Oh, there's a few.

There's a few original roadhouse. I feel staked in the back with this information. Staked in the back. Like stabbed in the back. You in the porter house? Oh. Flop. Mitch, have you been to Texas Roadhouse?

I have not. I believe this was my inaugural visit. Wow. The day is, Casey, they must be in Florida, but have you been to Texas Roadhouse? I've been to Texas Roadhouse one time. Got it. It was a nice treats. Sure.

The butter was my favorite part. Oh, we'll talk about the butter. The vice of Casey. Sam, there's a reason you're not allowed in this building anymore, K. Did you try and anything else for just the butter? I had a steak with butter, of course. Okay. Got to toss that on there.

What about the sloppy boys? I had been there because my dad likes it. You give them, you know, Father's Day. give him a breacher novel, you bring them out to Texas Roadhouse. So that was why I was giving you guys wisdom that I was like, I haven't been there in forever and I think it was only once, but I already was telling you guys like, I think it's about the smothering. Loaded stuff, smothered stuff, smothered and loaded. Well, let me tell you, you got a big time confirmation from our waitress when I said,

is it about smothering stuff? And she went, mm-hmm. She gave a huge, mm-hmm, after that. She was like, listen to Tim. Yeah, I'd been once a long time ago. Didn't get a stake, though. So this is my first time kind of doing this. the full experience.

And I've never been. Wow. Well, we drove an hour plus to Corona, California, closer to 90 minutes. We went inland. I was in the party car, me and Wiggs. And the sloppy boys were in the other car. I drove with the guy who I see all the time. And my friends were in the other.

And you were my friend, too. We could have changed things up. I also offered to drive. It's true. You offered me to drive your car. Yeah, that would have been fun. It would have been fun. Yeah.

I was afraid to crash. It was pretty speedy. Yeah. Anyway, we drove an hour plus to Corona California. You're giving a little hints of his kid that he has a fast car. Fucking packed. Nick's going to fast car. It was, I liked going all the way out to the real burbs for it because it was packed on a Saturday night, big parties.

Yeah. It kind of feel kind of dad-centric. I was looking around. I felt like some dad birthdays. It was packed. That's what I was to say, because we've talked about this on the podcast before, the category of dad's birthday for chain restaurants. And it's interesting that you actually went there for your dad's birthday. Because there were definitely a bunch of those celebrations going on.

There's some kid birthdays too, but it felt like dad birthdays. There was a kid birthday right next to us. Yes. Oh, right. Yeah. And he was having a- They made that song off. They wheeled up a saddle and the kid who I thought was going to be too shy,

hopped up, got on that saddle and was whipping the napkin over his head like a lasso. Where that was that? Where that was that? I didn't think it was cool that you jumped in the saddle before he could get in there, Nick. I want to show him how it's done And I crushed it We got bread for the table with that butter Here's the thing about the butter

Contra Casey Casey I think it was a little A little aggressively sweet to start the meal The devil loves me deep But not as much as Casey loves cinnamon butter I just thought it was like a very weird swing for the first thing you eat there

Hey man It's a huge assumption that you want Auntie Anne's butter Without a real regular butter Cinnamon sugar butter this butter 14 years ago. Casey, you need to answer for yourself, David. What the hell happened? Don't worry about Casey. You're not ever going to be in this

building again, but it is kind of part of it. This cinnamon stuff I'm hearing a lot about these days. It was good. It was good. It was just specific. It is good. It's just, it's a dessert before you get your dessert butter.

So, okay, so let me let me talk. My experience for the change steakhouse is a place we covered before Black Angus. And at Black Angus, they have like a honey butter. So I I did end up like, oh, I kind of like this sort of sweet butter that I get with the brown bread there. Like I, like I, so if I'd grown up with this. Brown bread.

I'd probably like it. Yeah, brown bread is good. It didn't come up last segment or did it. Did I miss that? It didn't. I like that brown bread. Brown bread is great. Continue, longer.

But like, I feel like I would have had to grow up with this to enjoy it, to be in. And then this context kind of being blindsided by it. I was just like, I don't know what the cinnamon butter is all about. Have you ever had brown bread from a can? No. I've never bought it. heard of this. I bought it before. Did you? And then you bake it or are you... I don't know.

How's this guy? You do. You put it in the oven. I bought it during the pandemic. I bought some brown... COVID-19? COVID-19. The coronavirus. And the world shut down. Why did you get corona? I did get corona, but not immediately. I was like part of the second or third way, but you know what?

It didn't shut down podcasting. That's right. We were on the front lines. We adjusted. I'm hit. I go to Albertson's supermarket every day, and I walk down the bean aisle, and there's a can of bread, and I'm like, someday I'm going to buy that fucking thing. The grocery store people are like, there is.

He's in the bean aisle again. It's amazing. That store has a full bean out, both sides, the entire lane. Who does it do? He never buys anything. Just walk it up and down. Working up the nerve to someday buy that bread. But is it, it's like it's cooked.

and you just open up a can and there's bread in there. If I remember correctly, you do put it in the oven maybe to just make it more, toast it up or something. Is it like that batter? Yeah. I remember also not being good. Is it a New England thing, too, to me? It might be.

I mean, it could be. And you know what? I think I maybe got this because you mentioned it. Why haven't you pulled the trigger for seven years? I don't have to nerding you. You know what? It might be a Boston thing because it's, it might, it's like, it's not bushes, but there's another Boston baked bean brand that's like B&B or B.

Bush Mills or something? No, Bush Mills is a booze, isn't it? Well, you know when you get like a Pillsbury thing, sometimes it comes to that tube and you like unspool the... Yeah. How fun is that?

But that's in the fridge. This is out of the normal bean aisle. Why, they got to get it out of the bean aisle, at least in the bread aisle or the can aisle. I saw a little sleepy drake over there. I saw a little drachyon. You know, whatever. It's almost time for...

It's almost more... Manning. Mitch, I like that you, I like picturing you go to the supermarket and thinking, oh, Catman told me about this, Brad. I'm going to try it. I'm going to buy it.

I'm picturing Mitch, full big cart down, gets the thing, puts that the only, puts the only thing in the cart right up to the red. I go to the cashier, I say, Catman told me to get that. Okay.

Oh, who are you? Catman. Yes, a cat man told you. Okay. I don't think anyone was blown away by the bread and butter. The bread was okay. The bread was fine. I thought it was okay.

No one was blown away. It was warm. It was warm. We got some... We made in case he feel bad on his first night back. I'm not trying to... I don't look. Honestly, I don't really care.

Hey, that's weird. Pride is not wrapped up in butter. That's how you always used to be. That's the way to be. We got some cocktails. So this is the, the asynchronous thing about this place. Hammer got a mocktail. I never got a mocktail.

A Coca-Cola. Yeah. The original mocktail. The thing that's a bit asynchronous is like when I think about like, oh, I'm going to have a drink at a steakhouse. I am thinking of like a martini or something like that. I am like an old fashion. I'm thinking more classic cocktail. This place has like the Chili's slash TGI Friday style like super loaded with sugar, you know, booze for non-drinkers sort of alcohol coexisting with all the steak.

And so, you know, we got some frozen. and margues, a legend margarita, Mitch. I got the legend margarita, it's true. And I got the watermelon cooler. Which was... Similar to soup in Japan. What's that? Similar to the soup in Japan.

This was an LTO that's an old smoky, salty watermelon whiskey mixed with finest call watermelon puree, lemonade, limes, and sour patch candied watermelon. Way too sweet for me. You were eating with a spoon. That makes more sense. This was way too sweet for me. It was just like pungently sweet.

I didn't know that there was watermelon sourpatchkins because I love those, but you gave me a sip of your second drink. I didn't try that one. The second drink was the Dale Yeah, which is High Rock vodka, candied orange and vanilla syrup. Our signature margaria sour mixed in orange juice. Just tasted like an orange julius. Again, just way too sweet. And neither of them tasted particularly alcoholic. You couldn't even get like two sips into that drink.

You've been pretty fun. Isn't it weird that when you order a cocktail at a chain restaurant, your one and only hope is that it won't be cloyingly sweet, and it just always is. Does that mean, like, is there a, do a lot of people like that? And they just want the sweetest drink. Or they hate to taste of alcohol and they're just trying to. I think a little from Coloméle from Colomede.

I like a sweet drink. So I liked your little orange dream drink that you have. What was it called? Dale. Dale, yeah. It was like a Dale Hart, Earnhardt Jr. Cola. Oh. Fun.

Is that a pun? Dale, yeah. Is it supposed to be hell? Hell yeah. Hail yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, that's perfect. I'm going to say this about Hanford's drinks.

The guy started with a Coke. He moved to a Sprite. Yeah. Weird. Does that count as a free refill? Shit, I didn't ask her. Because you're pivoting. I know.

What did we think of the Margs? I, the legend marg was pretty damn good, honestly. I thought it was all right. Had that black salt on the rim wise? Oh, yeah. How was the legend marg? different from what I got and what Tim got.

It was like a Cadillac, like top shelf. Yeah. Oh. But we, so we had a frozen marg with the extra shot that comes in a test tube on the side. The $2. The $2.00 kicker. I was talked out of the kicker because that was Wig's driver. You told me not to get the kicker.

I absolutely not tell you not to get the kicker. You decided on your own not to get it. Yeah, I was upset about it. I wanted the kicker. A kicker was necessary for mine. Yeah, because it was, it did feel like, hey, we're at a frozen margarita type of place. It's dad's birthday, but mom's having a frozen marg, you know? Sure.

But I did feel like it wasn't too sweet. It was good, but I was hard getting it up the straw. When I added my kicker in, suddenly it's meltier, you see. Suddenly I'm stirring it up. Those are huge chalises of margarita, too. Yeah, fit for a king. Tim, I noticed that at the table because you poured your kicker, and then I saw you stirring.

I saw a big smile creep over your face. I never spoke the whole dinner, but I had the meat. I did like it. I think that frozen margaritas can be the biggest defender of being undrinkably sweet. But other than a little melting, you know, I had to make it melt a little bit. I thought it was delicious.

I thought the drinks were, you're right over there, Drac? Yeah, I'm hanging in there. He's hanging in. It's about to come up. I'm going to fucking fall asleep here. Getting in my coffin. I thought the drinks were good, but I'll say you this.

I thought the apps were even better. Oh. I didn't like my drinks, but I did like the apps. Okay. So we got the cactus blossom, which is it described as a Texas-sized golden-fried onion with Cajun sauce for dipping. I mean, this is like the awesome blossom, sauce of the fucking looming onion. I'm going to say it.

I may be my favorite of all those. It might be the best iteration of one of these that I've had. It was well executed. It was very, the breading, the ratio of the breading was very well done on it. Well, proportioned. I could have used it a little more done. Really? A little bit, tiny bit.

That's what I say that because. The amount of breading I grew with. Have you Have you guys Do you like the taste of just raw booze better now? Would you say? Would you say after doing the show? Yeah.

You like the taste of raw boo. Like you can go into raw booze. But I would do like a tequila soda line. Is that what you mean? Sure, sure, sure. Not just totally straight. Well, Hamford, let me tell you this. We know our blooming onions, okay?

And a lot of them are way more undercooked than that one. Wise, I think you can back me up here. Yeah, I mean, this is one of the better iterations of it. I will back you up on that. The bottom piece is usually pretty soggy in those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And this one was pretty well cooked. And the crust stayed on it when you plucked the pedal off.

You're not going. Yeah, it was disintegrating. You don't want that onion slithering out of the heart. No, no, no, no, no. Also, what we did do here, I thought it was cool and distinct that there was an option for, like, the fire blossom where it was spiced up. Oh, yes. Oh, we sure had done that. Well, I would, you know, I would opt to that.

I would often offer that for myself because I'm a bit of heat secret. But I think in this context, I think we just, we were getting something else spicy. And so I feel like we didn't need spicy on top of spicy because that's what it was, including the combo appetizer. I'm talking about, of course, about the rattlesnake bites. These were diced jalapenos and jack cheese lightly fried and served with Cajun sauce for dipping, allegedly. We also got tater skins, which was eight baked potato skins topped with melted cheddar cheese

and bacon bits, served with sour cream for dipping, allegedly. And boneless buffalo wings, which we got with, were these boneless? They were bones. They were bones. A little balls of chunks. And that was supposed to be coming. Were you nervous because you thought you ate the bones for a moment? What happened here? I just couldn't remember.

I couldn't remember what the form factor was. They were boneless. And those came with those were also hot. You went hot with those ones. Came with blue cheese dressing. Allegedly, the only dipping sauces we got, we were supposed to, on the combo appetizer, be allowed to choose our dipping sauces. And they had default one specified.

She did not ask us what our dipping sauces was she brought us only ranch. Let's just be clear here. Dracula's curse did not work on this lady. She was not impressed by us at all. She did not like us. No. She was trying to rush us out of there.

That wasn't the only thing that came out wrong. It felt like, yeah. Yeah. Little care taken with what we ordered. I didn't clock the rush. Did you guys think she was just checking on us too much? Or was she kind of going to, but she was pointing out her wrist and then stowing at it? She was brusk.

She was brusk. She was brusk. She was brusk. It felt like they were like, like, She was incentivized to turn the table. Not going anywhere for a while. Here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, here's, we actually, because you guys have such a nice trick-or-treat costumes, we were going to

give you full-sized candy, though. Wow. A milky way. I love that. You've been sitting on them for an hour? I mean, they're from your own break room, but yeah, yeah, full-sized candy. Uh, I, I, I, here's, here's where I knew that she didn't love us. She said, are you gentlemen celebrating anything today?

said, we're all friends. And then she didn't respond and turned around and left. Yeah. And at that moment, I knew that she did not, we were not. That's, I wasn't, I wasn't even trying to be that. I was just saying, we're all friends. Yeah, yeah. I thought you're being friendly.

I thought you're being convivial. I think she, she was just being told, I feel like like all the servers there because there was a huge cue. I should also mention that while we were driving there, I kept checking the wait list because you can't make a reservation, but you can check the wait list online. And it kept growing and growing in length until it reached a point where it was like, we were like 40 minutes out and the wait list was now 55 minutes. So I just put our names in then, which was clutchers we got there.

And we still were queued up for like another 20 minutes or so it felt like. And we also, part of that time was spent in the corral because they have like a little like staging area for you to get seated. There was a specific little carpet for us to stand on. It's on deck one and on deck two. If you move, you get zh. The cowbrow. A funny thing happened too. Somebody walked behind Mitch and was like, excuse me.

Or behind. Behind. And Mitch was like, you're just a regular person. The old guy. That guy heard a server say to somebody else behind, and then they could go on their way. So this civilian saw that and immediately employed it on old Mitch. It was like three seconds apart. I wait just like behind.

I was like, oh, sorry. And then some guy was like, behind. I can't do that. Some fat guy just wants to get by? You can't make me move. He learned it then and he's been doing it every day since. is your life behind. Behind.

I'm really moving. I haven't had a straight-up snickers in a very long time if we want to take a bite. It's pretty damn good. Yeah. It felt like the point is our server, you know, who's obviously taxed because it was a really... She did great. She did great job. There was just like...

The food came out fast. Everything was fine. We didn't tip her, though. But it felt like... Yeah, that was her... Well, that's what she gets. It felt like they were trying to just turn over tables. It felt like they were just like, let's get people out of here as quickly as possible.

because we got a lot of people to serve. I thought the apps, though, all that said, despite the ranch is the only dip in sauce, they were all good. Yes, really solid. The rattlesnake bites were yummy. Yeah, those are really good. What is the sauce in the bloomin onion?

It's a Cajun sauce. I like any of that pink orange sauce. Me too. Whatever it comes on a break. The Snickers bite gave your voice a lower timbre. Have you noticed that? I like the Cajian. I like the Cajun sauce.

I think it's like a remulade kind of a, like. Yeah, sometimes it's a spicy aoli, sometimes it's whatever. Comeback sauce. I love all that pink orange sauce. Yeah. I wonder, you know how you get one of those apple slicer things that goes, shunk? Oh, yeah. Can you get a bloomin onion one and do it at home?

Oh, that's interesting. That's fun. They must have some sort of tool for that. Wow. You know what I liked about that appetizer platter? Rattle snake bites are great. Potato skins were classic, very nostalgic, delicious. but I don't really usually like a boneless chicken wing

because it's not like a wing. It's just like a tender and it'll be white meat and not wing-like. You want to know something was something perished. I want to eat an arm. But this was white meat, but it was chopped with a little bit of a scraggle to it. So there was like, there was a real vibe created.

Right. What I don't like about boneless wing sometimes, you get too much of that like something flopped over and it's just like a big bite of just the breading, fried breading. I like that. I want to why? Well, because I won you over with the...

I told you the ones in Quincy were good, and you had them, and you agreed they were pretty damn good. They were good. Look, I'm a boneless wing skeptic. I'm a bone-in man. This is one of the many key areas where Mitch and I disagree.

But I've had good boneless wings, and that includes this particular yard appetizing. You're gonna come to the far house in Quincy. Is it true? I heard you're sort of a bone-in man in the bedroom. All right. That was, you know... What's the life I'm talking about?

And he's only just heard this. I've heard it. It does not confirm. It's false. Tell him it's false. It could be false. I don't know what you do in the bedroom. You don't need to know.

Yeah. I don't think I'd like it. You know what I liked about the rattlesnake bites? They were on theme for the month. I agree. Fangs. Right. A rattlesnake as long as that Dracula came.

So. Those were made. maybe my favorite. Not too spicy. The wings were spicy. You went hot with the wings, and they were decently spicy. They had some real heat to them.

But rattlesnake bites, I think were my favorite of the bunch. I like those. Those are yummy. The apps were winning. We get to our, so like, when you order your steak,

you get to, you get your choice of two sides. And some of us picked salad sides. Your salad sides come pre-meal, which I appreciated. That's nice. You get a little, and,

but I got both a Caesar salad side and a Texas red chili side. with mine and those both came out first. And did anyone else get the red chili? I did. I did. Yeah. And you also got a garden salad. You liked it more than I got a garden salad. I thought that the chili was pretty good. The chili was pretty good. I thought it was just a little, it could have been a little

hotter, temperature-wise. But they loaded up with cheese and onion. But I think we both said that it could use a little sour cream. Would have been fun to have. And it also would have been fun to have the sour cream for the potato skins. Yeah. I agree. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I thought the chili is decent. I thought my salad, which was a big classic, she's like, you want it with everything, eggs, cheese, and ranch. And it was a classic kind of shitty steakhouse salad.

I liked it quite a bit. My seizure salad absolutely got the job done. I'm not sure. But did anyone else get the Caesar? I did, yes. Yeah, I thought it was like kind of a well-executed, straightforward seizure salad. And I did have a moment where I was like, Tim, are you going to get an Italian salad at Texas Roadhouse?

And then I remembered the Caesar salad was invented in Tijuana, Mexico. That's right. Tim. Also not Texas. Interesting. But closer. Also, the frozen

margarita was invented in Texas. Ah. And Texas was once a part of Mexico, Hamford. There you go. That's what I was getting it.

I like the Caesar. Let's get to the main event. We got some stakes. There were some rib-eyes, a couple boned rib-eyes, Fort Worth rib-ribi, New York strip, and the fillet medallions.

What was the Fort Worth that just didn't have the bone in it? Yes. Okay. Yeah, that was a boneless one, as is my understanding. So I think some of the... And they were all sliced that day by some guy named... Charles C, I think, or something. Yeah, it began with a C.

Yeah, they had a blackboard up that was like, today's cuts have been cut by Charles C. From a presentation standpoint, from like a, you know, pre-show standpoint, they do have a case with, like, fresh meat up front. And they, like, fresh cut steak. and it does make you say like, ooh, this place looks good. It does what you're at.

And it was the ounces, right? Like there were numbers on that. I didn't tell those price or outs, yeah. I think you're probably right. It would have been fun if it was the different cuts and then you had something to look at, but it was all just like Charles C

had cut a bunch of rib-eyes and it was all rib-eyes. They were pushing the rib-eye. But Charles C, that's nice to know there's accountability there. Yeah. All right, who's Charles C? Hi, sir. Great job. Put her there, pal.

I want to mess with anyone because there was a UFC fighting gym right outside the Texas Roadhouse, which we noticed. It was a gigantic gym. It was one of those huge surface parking lots in suburbia with just like, it just ringed the perimeter with a bunch of different businesses, including like, yeah, there was like a 90-9 ranch, there was a UFC gym, there was a Costco. And it was packed. I never felt more alive in my life. There was, there was so many people at this damn place. They were cheering some game.

There was some game. They were all, it was, it was very lively atmosphere. It was. There is, like, an element when you're in a situation like that. You're just like, this place is so far removed. Not geographically, but just like, you know, experience wise. This is so far removed from my, my everyday life. There are so many fucking people here.

They all have their own shit going on. Yeah. The world is so vast. It is, like, unknowably, like, enormous. You know what I mean? It's amazing when you go to a town, you've never been to one of these places, and you see all those huge number of people like, wow, each town has this much stuff and each, there's just fucking rows and rows of buildings and people.

And you're still here when I leave? Right. You guys got to come with us. Why, as you walked out the door and you said, people are amazing. You floated up into the air. Which I'm not sure of were Dracula powers or whale powers, and I could never figure that out. They were whale powers. The vampire whale might be an interesting movie.

That's, talk about a feast for Dracula. Oh, bellyache. I dined on the whale tonight, you know, something like that. Oh, I meant the whale was the vampire. That's the way I take it. So he has to play the krill's neck. Hold on a second.

I think you're thinking, I think you're, I think you're thinking is something different here. What? You know, we're talking about Brendan Fraser's the whale. I know, I know, but I've, I've leaped. My brain, Mitch, it leaps from one thing to the next. It's tough. So Brenda Frazier is eating krill.

I think some of the On my receipt transcript I think some of the Which sides lined up with which steaks got Kind of cross-pollinated Because for instance I see my New York strip on here But I did not get a side-loaded baked potato Someone else got

I did as well Yeah So I like all this time I got I'll just say like if everyone can remember their sides I got steak fries And I also got mine with I wanted to get it smothered with sauteed mushrooms and onions, but it was brought on the side, which was fine.

I did self-smother. You did self-smother. You got a, you got the, so two-lated load-baked potatoes here from Mike. Looks like you self-smother tonight. I was like, I got to go to the bathroom. Tim and Jeff, what did you get? I did filet medallions.

Those came on rice, okay? And I forget, I know I got one of the sides was roast vegetables or fresh vegetables. Terrible. Terrible. DoA. I got a whiffy or broccoli, and I was like, that's not fun. We're trying to about fun.

That's not fun broccoli. It was, so I had one broccoli just as a gesture, and I put it aside. And I think my other side might have been a baked potato or maybe is there like mac and cheese or like a potato salad or something on there? I forget what the other one was. She flatlined those, that little cup on the toes. She put it on. She's just fucking dead little veggies. Wait, your rice didn't count as one of your side.

No, no. The Dowlings just came on the rice. And I did get them smothered. And it was fantastic to get all those drippings in the rice. I had the green beans, and yeah, big mistake. I should have been like, yeah, why am I getting vegetables? A, at a steakhouse at a chain steakhouse. You're there for meats and starches.

Like, if you go to a good steakhouse, you can get like, like, they might have a nice side of asparagus instead of broccoli, some cream spinach or something like that, but that's not what they're doing here. These are frozen Cisco vegetables that they have out of obligation. I thought it was really weird. You ordered green beans as your main

and then a side of steak. Get a little cup? Why, what did you think of the steak price? I also got steak fries on my side. And, you know, there's a whole, like, internety thing about steak fries being the, though people say they're the worst of the fries. I don't know. But we've talked about this before. I love all fries.

I would say they have, they're a penthouse food, maybe. But, you know, these were not, like, when you're at a diner and it's just a giant yellow slab that's boring. This, this was a natural cut, like, it had the skin on the ends and there was some seasoning that felt like they had tossed it as opposed to, like, a seasoning that's, like, my can has, like, you know, crusted on there or something. Here's what I like about steak fries with steak at large in the general case is that you get stuff to dip up

them juices. You know what I mean? It's sopened material. And I like the juices. I did not need steak sauce on the table. The steak sauce was fucking horrible. We'll talk about that second. But I do agree with you. Give us some sopin material. That's what we say into the waitress. We want some softened. I thought

the steak fries were crispy and well-seasoned. And I I was satisfied with them, had them with a little bit of ketchup. That's all they needed. But, like, yeah, the steak sauce with its own thing. You just reminded me of something about how the steak sauce sucks shit. It was fucking horrible.

It was the worst thing of the night. It was the other one. No, it's their own Texas Roadhouse bespoke sauce. And, yes, it was like a, what's the, is it, not H&P. HB. HB. It's like an HB sauce sort of thing. And it was, it was a little too aggrows.

aggressively vinegary. Weird sweetness. Weird sweetness. Yeah. Too sweet. Chris C should put down the saw and get to work on a new fucking recipe for a... It was awful. Right. We love his work.

The sauce was being mixed by Gen R. I think it was all the thing. Jen, mix that stuff. It was nasty. It was just Gen R. And they put it on the table. And so everyone says like, oh, I'll try their steak sauce. Why is that?

How steak sauce is it? And then you're just, like, ruining a few bites of steak. It's fucking, I... I didn't like that it was on my plate. I hated it to my other. It was slowly moving towards my meal. I hated it. Yeah, it's awful.

Did you like them loaded baked potatoes? I did, why? I liked... Here's what I'm going to say. Yeah. Don't laugh at just the premise of our show. We, uh, I think the boys will agree with me here. We all love wings from Ye Rustic.

And I think that Ye Rustic has some great steak fries. And I thought that those steak fries were pretty damn good And I think if steak fries are done well Which is they have to be very crispy They can be a top tier fry But everyone makes steak fries bad And they taste like just kind of like soft potatoes Like they've like they've been baked in an oven almost

Yes They have like a like a gushiness to them No no no no no no no no you need a crisp You need to be crisp Yeah, good fry And I thought yours were pretty damn good Yeah I liked them I was happy with them I was happy with a baked potato

I got loaded that came with sour cream chives Cheese butter and bacon I think I did that too. That was my side. I liked it. It was good. It was damn good. Did we like those of us who smothered?

Did we like the smothering? I like that you're saving the steak for last. That's good. He's good. He's good. We're in a show here. I had my smother stuff on the side because I like an al-a-cart steak. The smother stuff was delicious.

I thought that it's really hard to not overcook a mushroom, that type of thing. And really it's just mushrooms and shrews. strips of onion, right? Yeah. White onion and mushroom. They also had options. There was like hatch green chilies or something else. Oh.

But the ones they're specifically pushing you towards are the mushroom. Yeah, I don't want that stuff to be default on top of my steak, but I did, when I tasted, I was like, these mushrooms are most savory indeed. Is there, I mean, it's a restaurant. So you got to assume there's, like, other powders and spices and, like, a thickening agent in there, or is it, could I make that at home if I just cook up a mushroom and an onion? I think you could make it at home. Shit, man.

Don't you sort of make a thickening agent in the bedroom? Okay, all right. This is what I've heard. Let's just say I'm kind of a bone in guy. So he is. He is. He'll always answer the last question. So if you want to find out about the thickening answer, yeah, yeah.

I got to think of a good question. I will say that I did like the mushrooms and onions. I do think they kind of start to overwhelm your state because they give you them in such vast quantity. And I just have to think, like, oh, you're not supposed to eat all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looked more presentational. Right. I meant to get them on the side and I got loaded on top there. But you know what? They were good. So they were yummy. They were yummy. I had no problem. And the steak itself was totally fine. Like I enjoy it. Wise? Now hold on. You just jumped right into the steak here. What? Teasing it forever.

Now you just jump right in with the steak. I just want to say something about the smothering. I got the smothered too and my steak came out. I was like, oh, great. I'm going to eat this. looking at the steak where am i got a kid into it and i look a little closer what the smother is this i look and there's two little sort of clean cut comedians from the 60s i was here oh no no boy

you think it was were they wearing turtlenecks they were and one was kind of cutting up just a little bit the other guy was getting them back in the and the yo yo yo came out wow so yeah the lady i heard the lady said you want smothers or smothers brothers or smothers brothered and you said you answered

smothered you said brothered yeah you said brother. Yes. And then they said, bring our boys home from Nam and they got thrown out of this. Yeah, they said

that I'd go and get off my steak. I love us all making references that are too old for us. How about this for a recent reference? Catch me Charles C.

See, people like that. Gen Z likes Charles C. Yeah. All right. Let's talk steak. It's good. I, I, I got a little jealous of two of the boys.

That's right. Two of the boys ordered the bone in ribby. They're sitting in my left. And one of the boys gave me a taste of his bone in ribby, and it was the best, it was the bite of the night. It was the best bite I had. I did the, what was it, the El Paso? What were the hell there?

Fort Worth. I did the Fort Worth. I did the biggest sized Fort Worth. buy, no bone. And I thought it was really good. I was genuinely impressed, I'd say, way better than Outback Steakhouse-wise, which we beat now. This is in a

completely different tier from Outback Steak House. But how does the price compare? Pretty good, honestly. I think not bad. I would have to look at current Outback Steakhouse menu prices, but I think it's basically on par. It's not out like this place is not a completely different

price tier. Right. I was kind of trying to think about who their competition is because there's this top tier of, uh, you know, like Morton's, Ruth's Chris, Fleming's,

that type of thing. And this knows it's not that. And the price was nowhere near those places. So that's when I was eating my steak. I was kind of imagining the competition is pretty shitty. It is. At this, I think I had a bone in ribby,

which was like the biggest, fanciest cut. And I want to say it was like 3799 with the two sides. That is very reasonable compared to. I did Morton's on this show. And I feel like my steak a la carte was like double. Tim, I want to give you credit for your first doughboys episode. You said, let's go to Morton's steakhouse.

Before we even knew we could do anything, like, we were shocked. Right. Yeah. I was like Morton's or nothing. This is back when we, we lost, we were six grand in the hole that year. I also remember that we went to that Morton's, that Morton's lunch, and they had a lunch special for something very similar to what you wanted. No.

But you said, no. You were the more expensive thing off the menu. It was because they were going to put everything. everything on one plate and I wanted my steak a car. But then I still wanted size. I admire it. I admire it too. Yeah, I admire it.

This was way, way, way more reasonable except it was 10K per brother for Hamfurt's when he got a steak. Oh, damn. Which makes sense. The little, you know, the little guys. The genetic

marbles of getting those guys down to that size is. And they were so funny. when you were looking at them. Until they, yeah. I don't like their politics either. I'm with you. Yeah. Keep our boys in Vietnam.

Here's, yes, to your point, I think this place is competing with Outback Steakhouse. It's completing with the aforementioned Black Angus, and it's competing with another place that Mitch, I think we can say that we're going to go to this month during a draknober fang. Let's say it. A month long, what was a copy?

Month long, so, no, no, no. It was a spook, Dracula. A spook Dracula month of Stakes and Stakes. We're going to be going to be going to Longhorn Steak House. That's right. It's another Texas state concept that is similarly appealing to the middle class. Yeah.

I, this was, I like the, I like the little sneak peekwags. This was, this, this was, this was, this was, this, blew my expectations out of the water. This, this meal. I was, we were in good company. I was having fun. We were having a blast. How fun was that? It was fun.

And then let me tell you. Like he said, he's the life of the party in Japan. He's the life of the party in Japan. But I said, what about dessert? You said, let's get all three of them. So you did, you did, I'll give you credit then. You did get all three desserts. We got the strawberry cheesecake.

We got the big old brownie and we got the Granny's Apple Classic, which is a top. And here's what I find out about Jeff. He's been a cheesecake guy all these years. Don't tell them. I had no idea. Ooh, it's positively sinful. I do, I think I was with you that the strawberry cheesecake to my surprise, because I did not have high expectations for a cheesecake in this context,

was the best of these three desserts. It feels like light and twangy, you know, versus like a heavy chocolate. Which is, I feel like cheesecake, you run the risk of it not being light and twangy. But me and Mitch like the brownie sunda. Yeah, dude. Yeah, Brownie Sunday. The big old brownie was good. The big old brown is real good.

You don't have that on cheesecake. Nobody really, like the apple thing never, it was just a piece of apple pie, right? I'll read the exact copy. home-style slice of apple pie topped with vanilla ice cream and honey cinnamon caramel sauce. It was just kind of sitting over there by itself. It was good, but it's ever shadowed? Yeah.

You guys ever put, hear people put cheese on apple pie? I've done it. Is it cheddar cheese? Is that the... It can be all right in certain contexts. They used to do it at Johnny Rockets. I think they discontinued it. Wow.

I don't know where that came from. It feels like a Midwest thing. You know what's funny, though? I still... The cheesecake was pretty damn good. but I still would like a hot cold dessert. Maybe we would like the apple pie next. Hot cold is a great category of dessert.

We've talked about this. Love a hot cold. I agree. Apple pie was my second. I wasn't, I'm not a cheesecake guy, so I shouldn't weigh in. You're a New Yorker. I don't get it. I haven't had my cheesecake moment yet.

I forget the cheesecake is like in New York. There's like New York pizza and bagels and cheesecake is also in that. I forget that's something. I guess because I think of Philadelphia cream cheese that makes me think of a Philadelphia thing. But it's now interesting, not invented in Philadelphia. Wow. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I think it was Philadelphia and New York, weirdly.

Wow. Wow. How about that? That's sad. What a factoid. I'm kind of bummed out. Should we wrap it up? Yeah, let's wrap.

Hey, buddy, Mitch. I know you and I are both very concerned about our sleep. It's a thing we put a lot of thought into. And I know your sleep is improved markedly because of your Helix mattress. That's right, Wig's. Helix sleep mattress. I love my Helix mattress. Wow. I have a moonlight lux mattress. Feels like I'm sleeping on a cloud. I've had it for about seven years now. It's perfect. Weggs. Everyone who's been on that mattress love it. That includes me, Wally Irma. My mom, when she comes to town, I say, hey, take the bed. I'll go on the

couch. She loves the Helix mattress. Me when you're out of town, I sneak in there. You sneak in there. You know what? You know what? I like it. Three bears. And do you love the Helix mattress? It's comfortable. I would say Three Bears style, it's just right. It is just right, Wags. But your porridge is too cold. I'm sorry about that, but don't eat my porridge. I like it. Wags, you know, the fall is coming around.

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Helixleep.com slash doughboys. Get some sleep, buddy. Wow. Let's get to our fork scores on that note. So, Handman, Calpacus, Dutton, y'all are veterans of the podcast. You know all this works.

We'll just go around, give our closing argument, if you will, on Texas Roadhouse and end by giving it a fork score from zero to five. Wait. Zero to five, what?

Oh, fuck. We usually do forks, should do fangs. Zero to five fangs. Zero to five fangs. Zero to five fangs. Instead of forks. All right,

seated to my right, we'll begin with you. Your thoughts, your fangs. Should it be out of 10? Because you have two fangs. I think you should still be out of five. Okay, but there is ten, don't. I think it's just confusing enough the way you're talking with the puns that, let's keep the score. 10 fangs equals five forks.

10 fangs equals five forks. Okay, got it. So out of ten. We can also do it out of five, and then we can multiply on our own. Yeah, we can go out of you guys. You can say, like, if you want it out of forks, then we'll convert it to fangs forks, then we'll convert it to fangs. Yeah, we have a fang to fork conversion. Perfect.

Okay. I think I have that. Four sets of fangs would be eight fangs. Eight fangs, correct. Let them do the conversion. Yeah, I don't want to mess with the conversion stuff. They're professionals. You steak to fork, but you know.

I got the bone and ribby, medium rare. Came out almost completely rare. It was not very... I'm digging into this thing. It's like tough to cut. We should have him go for. first. I will back you up on that.

I was seen next to you. I forgot that he hates food. The guy who hates food goes first. Look, I agree. His steak was the only steak that looked undercooked. It was like, when I got to the bone part, it was like red. I mean, you guys loved bloody red. I don't know if I get this month.

But it was, and it was just like fat all over the place. Like, it made the meat part taste good, but I had like a, huge pile of just like... Gristle. Oh, no, just like that like just gooey fat would... I could eat one piece, but I couldn't eat a whole thing.

The beans sucked. I like the potato. Company was good. I did like that Sprite. I think I did enjoy the bites of steak. We talked about mixing a sprite and a Coke, which we think would be fun to try. A Coke Sprite. Yeah.

Like an Arnold Palmer. A stroke. A stroke. A stroke. We want to try a sproke. Maybe next time. I will give this because I do like steak and the bites of steak I did have were good. And so I'm kind of just, I didn't like the waitress either. Oh, boy. Do you like Charles C?

Love Charles C. It actually the waitress ended up being pretty good. I gave it a three. Three forks. Wow. You also, the guy at the end, was it you who was talking about his mustache? Yeah, I didn't like that either. You didn't like that.

I thought you guys had a good back and forth. This guy had a really cool, like, twiddly, twisty mustache. I said, hey, nice mustache. And he's like, oh, it's fake. It's fake. And then he pulls out, like, an Elmer's glue stick that was, you know, it's a real mustache, but he just had it, like, on hand for the joke. And I was like, I don't like this pre-planned joke.

Oh, no? I think he probably uses it to do the twist, no? Maybe, but he said it was, you wouldn't put Elmer's on. I walked away from that conversation and that you were both laughing. I was being polite. He was a pony. He's a holly. Hollywood phoney coming in from the Hollywood Hills. We should work together, man.

I should introduce you to a mustache guy, man. If he was really just carrying that around as a joke, that sucks. And that guy shouldn't go out to restaurants and try and make jokes with people. But I swear, like, he's probably using that as mustache wax, no? Either way, it was confusing. The food was confusing to me. The whole thing was confused. If he carries that around, Glucig is just a joke.

Put him up against the wall. I don't like this guy either. he deserves the worst but maybe he just had a blue stick randomly in his pocket at the same time though you gotta give it up for him for going to work and like having a thing and prepare it so I do like that now

you've turned I love him five forks for that guy I fanged that feels like the least likely scenario Mitch is that he just happened to have a glue stick I think he either had it for the bit or he it's done story which I think I'm ascribed to

I'm hoping there's a practical application yeah I think he actually he uses it for the what if someone said Hey, the bearhead fell off the wall. Go go. Go do, but it could have been. I get a glue stick in my glove box. Let me go grab that.

Is that what you're thinking? It could have been something at the store where they were gluing. All right. You're right. The guy sucks. I just said it was fine. The guy sucks. I didn't have an issue with them.

Six fangs from Hanford. Kelpacus, what, your thoughts? Your thoughts? Your fork slash fang score? I'm going to go forks. I'll tell you what. I go to this, I'm in a rock band, right? We've played Dallas, Houston, Austin. We've been in some of these road houses, the real thing.

So when we go there and say, what's, is this place going to be fun? Is it going to create that vibe? And I think, did they used to have, like, make the waiters line dance or something like that? I feel like, I wouldn't like something like that. But anyway, I'll say it was fun. I liked the atmosphere. I liked all the stuff. And I think that it's a fun menu.

And, like, everything I ate, they executed very well, and I was having a blast and everything tastes good. The only problem is like, I only have one ding, but then it's a huge one that my bone in ribby,

the star of the night, I ordered mine medium rare. It came out medium. It was still good. I was willing to forgive that. I look across the table. I see Hanford steak is rare. Sounds like you stole some of his flame.

Yeah, put them together, Charles. I thought for a second, maybe our plates are getting crossed, but no, because our sakes, sides were correct. Yeah, but I don't know. But so, so I like, I, I, I, I, I loved this meal. I think this place is fun and, and executes what their intention is.

But if they, if I'm digging them on one thing and that's the biggest thing of all, I, I, I, I, I'm sorry that I, I, it's going to be a four forks, but I loved it. Wow. Four for for forks. Good job. I loved the meal. Damn. A thanks.

Yeah, that's right. The conversion is eight. And it was, it was cheap. I couldn't believe how full I was for, for 40 bucks. Yeah. Jamman, what do you think? And for me, I did the fillet medallions on rice. These were three sort of little,

they looked like sliders in a way, you know, medallions. A little overcooked for my medium rare. But I'm not like the, I'm not the steak connoisseur that some of my bandmates are. Just one of my bandmates. But you don't even know half the cuts. I don't know half the cuts. But.

Let's be real here. You don't have the duts. Great, pretty much great sides, great drinks for me. Would have loved that sour cream. Steak was fantastic. Loved it smothered, loved the rice. I do think you're right. It could be a little more fun.

If we're not going to go full fancy, throw a mechanical bull in there, maybe have a big buck hunter in the back or something just to kind of. Like the birthday saddle was great. I would have like more of those. Yeah. They have like caricatures on the walls and stuff.

They have a bunch of chotchkees. Oh, there was a little iPad video game. Oh, yeah. Hold on a second. You say you want more of the sad. You just want more people to have their birthday day. Yeah, I was sad. The more people weren't born that night.

But that to me was like a fancy meal. I know there's like fancy you can spend as much money as you want on a steak. Man, I'm giving it fucking four and a half. Four and a half. Four and a small. Very good score. That's my boy. What's a food man?

That's nine fangs, Mitch. nine fangs one Dracula lost a tooth it sounds like in that scenario right one Dracula lost a tooth

that has to be it there can be just a single fang maybe he missed like he was like trying to bite somebody and he didn't quite get there he only penetrated one thing he put the necklace or something yeah yeah the other one

he got right into the necklace okay but okay so it's teeth he's got both teeth are intact it's just like the both fangs were not in you know in action kind of necklace is

Mr. T oh yeah It was Mr. T. It was Mr. T. It was a matter of back. I'm sad to hear to think of Mr. T. Turning. I don't want, I don't want Mr. T to be a man.

They can turn Mr. T. I, uh, I had a blast. I had more fun than I guess the rest of the group did, apparently. Uh, I was having a very good time. This place was packed. Like I said, I felt very alive. I liked that you get in there. You get a bag of peanuts.

And Tim and I were going to town on these. Oh, shit. Yeah. And we were, and you used to be able to talk. on the floor until peanut allergy people like why, so you can't do it anymore. But I think that was more of the rowdy atmosphere. I think you used to just toss the shells on the floor.

Which I'll say it's fun. It's fun to toss things around. They give you a bucket. They give you a bucket. That's kind of fun. That is kind of fun. We put the bucket on the floor. I thought the apps are really good.

I thought my drink was decent. And I thought my steak was good. And the price was good. I'm not going full five forks. but this place was happening. If you went with a group of people, this is a lot more fun than you could have. You're walking out of there saying yehaha, why?

So you're not, or ye blah, at least. I'm probably saying yehaha or, and depending if it's this month, I'm saying ye blah. So it's just, it's just been in some context. Yes, all right. Then for me, I can't go below four forks. I'm going in a, I'm going to be a blood brother with Dutz here and go, four or nine fangs, four and a half forks.

Nine fangs, wow. I'm with everybody that I cannot get all the way to five forks. I cannot get up there to ten fangs. You know what? Let me grab a Dracula's famous staff to my closing area. Look at that in Bend and Bo. He's a nutshell pass, eh? I think that this is maybe a little too small for Dracula's staff.

I think it's slightly bigger. Canonically, Dracula's like a giant. So as a whole Dracula's iconic staff, I will say that I had a great time. I'm so glad we all went together to the... Yeah, that was really fun. I appreciate it so much y'all making the hall because it was an ample chunk of a Saturday.

The makeup has made you look sick. You don't look like Dracula. You're very sick. I feel sick. I've been up for like 19 hours of this. Jesus of Christ. I'm hanging in there. I worked a full day.

I did another podcast. I'm on fumes here. What other podcast? You did a podcast early today? Yeah, yeah. The hell's gone on. The hell? No, I'm doing fine.

I mean, I live a charmed life. Tim said I looked like my character from this birthday boy schedule, The Big Date, which was I was just wearing a... Wow. A cape. I was wearing a Dracula cape, I guess. Your eye stuff is like kind of joker.

Like, ledgered joker. I want a little. too dark on the... I like it. It looks like the crow. Ooh, I like that. But you went light on the eye, the darkening around the eye.

Yeah, I just, I mean, whatever, I used that for your hand. I went a little lighter. I don't know what the right balance is. I honestly don't know how much eye black and typical Dracula even uses. Me neither. Yeah.

We'll figure it out for the next one. We'll figure it out for the next one. This month will evolve. We've got five episodes in the vein feed. I'm dressing as B. Next week. We can bleep that out. It's true.

I didn't realize you landed on. What's that? I didn't realize you landed on I'm going to be for one of them. That's going to be great. The service was, did feel a little bit like, like, oh, we got to keep moving here. She was turned to the table, but then the other, the waitress right across of her was not doing that. Was not.

You know what I would like to describe it if I could? it felt like she wasn't not that I need to feel special, but she wasn't making an effort to make it feel like a special thing. No, right. It's like, hey, I'm taking care of just this table while I'm right here.

She kind of was almost like looking over her shoulder for her next movie. She's letting you know she's got options. Right. Yeah, yeah. The cocktails, I thought were horrible. That's a skill issue on my part. I should know that if I order a chain restaurant

sugary cocktail, it's going to be way too sweet for me. It's going to be Mitch, I would say, perhaps in a bad way, a potent mix. and so I should add like a glass of wine or something and it would have been whatever it would have been like fucking

fitting what's that a glass of red would have been fitting it would be fitting it's not like they have going to have a great wine list or whatever but we get the job done and it would not they had they had Shiner Bach which is a Texas beer and it was they I saw the beers were in

frosty frozen mugs with handles that that would have been the move I didn't I didn't I didn't clock that that would have been I saw the grapes were stonped by Charles C so he was working double time He's chopping But the apps were great And the steak was

Totally solid The sides were good The desserts absolutely got the job done I think as far as chain restaurant Steakhouses go This is about as good as it gets And I think like for this price tier And so for that reason

I am going to be Blood Brothers With Dutts and the Spoon Man Spoon vamp And I'm going to go all the way up to four and a half forks nine bangs for Texas Roadhouse. Because I do believe this is a place that belongs in the Golden Blood Club. The Silver Coffin Club. The Silver Coffin Club.

The Silver Bullet Club. Wait, no, that kills werewolves. We talked about werewolves a little bit. That's true. All right, so the Golden Plate Club is the Silver Bullet Club this month? No, it's silver. Nothing. Isn't that Coors Light also?

Silver Steak Club. Yeah, it's the Coors Club. Okay, it's the Silver Steak Club The Silver Coffin, I thought Silver Coffin was great. This guy doesn't like food, he's keeping it from the Silver Coffin Club. But I think that's fair. If you go with somebody who doesn't like food, they might not have a great experience in Texas. How about this?

Each of our state, there was no consistency with any of these things. That is a great, if you take the whole thing. No, this is a fair bit of Christmas. Mine was cooked to temperature. I think mine was as well, but, but the, but, but, Calpacus and Hanford's Steaks. And Dutton, I guess. As a counter example being cooked wrong and

like cooked, not even at the same like, like you were ordered at the same temperature. It was a steak that would make Dracula drool, dude. Yeah, at different ends of the spectrum. I think that's a fair thing that like they might just not get the steak right, which is the one thing you expect from this place. Also, that fucking kiosk

that, that fucking Ziosk they have on there, that tablet, which is a thing you're complaining about since episode one of doughboys when we went to Chili's with Eva Anderson. That thing fucking sucks. I don't like it. I don't like it's present.

It tricks you to pay for it. It tricks you to pay for it because they have games on it that cost money that will charge you on the receipt if you fuck around. That's sneaky. And the games, they didn't look like they had Texas Cowboy themed games or anything. It was just like, it was just, I think that they were specific for each table. Dracula's Quest. Yeah, we want to play Dracula's quest.

I was like, can I get Call of Duty on this thing? You were playing for a while. Yeah. I got Vampire the Masquerade. Great, I'll get into this 60-hour RPG on the iPad at the table. All right, I'm going to go get the thing for the segment. That was our review. Chris C's Sliceoff?

Yeah, I want to play Chris C's Slice off. Charles C. Oh, it's Charlesey. That was our review of Texas Roadhouse. I think of bad I made fun of that guy's mustache. That's a cool thing to be... Don't get in your head about it. No, it's fine.

No, I have to. I live up here, Mitch. that guy. No, fuck you. It's time for a segment. We got a beverage and we're going to decide if you should pour it down your throat. It's drank or stank. And hey, fittingly, for this spookiest of months, we have

Fanta Ghostface Punch. That's right. One of Dracula's many friends, Ghostface. Is Dracula's friend? Is Ghostface Dracula's friend? Why the hell not? I guess it could be. Yeah. I guess he could be. Do we like to think that this is

scary ghost face or this is a scary movie a ghost face. I think it can be up to everybody. Hamperts, Hamperds. During our meal, there was a news story where a guy was like attacking people in a California town dressed as the ghost.

Oh yeah, that was happening in the restaurant. It was like two cops on top of ghost face. It was like a home cam of him getting arrested. It was like a ring cam, but then it showed him getting arrested, but it was funny to see like, oh, they finally caught ghost face. And then it was, and then you guys were like, wait, is this the movie or is this real? This fan-a-can

has a ghost face himself, the masked killer on the can. I'm just seeing the nutrition facts. What does it have? Oh, God, Jesus. Yes, you're right. It does have a lot of sugar. It has 42 grams, 84%.

So that's perhaps the spookiest thing of all on this can. But it does say recycle me out of it. That's nice. Oh, that's fun. I'm going to open this bad boy up. Here we go. Fanta Ghost Face Punch. Ghostface Punch.

Wow. Kind of a boring name, though. Ghostface Punch? Yeah, because it makes you think of a ghost punching. Good color. It is a good color. Wow, that is a great viscosity. Thank you for the demo there, hand man.

He's pouring it into a glass so we can see it's a purple hue. Look at that. Ghost face punch because a face punches its own thing being punched in the face. So you're a ghost face. So you're punching ghost face in the face, I guess, in the scenario. Okay. I like it more. No, I mean, that does not make me like it more.

I think that confuses the name. Okay. That's not what it's supposed to be, right? That's good point. Yeah, you're fighting back against ghost face or ghost face punching you in the face. Yeah, I think it should be ghost face like spooky punch or something like that. Yeah, ghost face scary punch. How about that?

Ghost face is scary, uh, juicy. Do you like scary punches? Do you like scary punches? Yes. Um, I have an immediate verdict on this one. This is a fucking drag. This tastes great. Wow, you love it.

I love it. Has hamburger's a little torn over there. I'm still making up my mind. I feel like I'm expecting more flavor out of this. It falls off real fast. At first, you're like, is it going to be a wild ride?

Nope. I love it too. I love the can. This is a wonderful experience. The can is great. Grape with bite. Yeah. Let's get more spooky characters on cans.

Selling drinks. They're doing it. They are doing it. Yeah, this is really fun. I also like this. This is a drink for mewag. Wait,

no, can't be a drink. What? A drake? A drake? A drake or? Dracker or whack. Drac or whack. That's probably for the snacks.

How about Drac or steak? It's Drac or steak? It's Drac or steak. You don't want to be staked if you're Dracula. It's bad thing. Or how about like ble or nah? Blah or ne. Blah or ne?

Blu or ne. It's funny that bleu is good. Blu is good. I never really thought that that was like expressing joy. It's blu or nit and blea is good. I give this a bleh and I give this a drink. and I give this a drag. This is a win all around.

This is a drank, drak, blah, for me. I like, I'm with you because at first I was like, oh, this doesn't taste, it doesn't have much taste, but you don't want a full glass of just like that thick,

you know, mulches grape juice, yeah, grape soda. It is funny that it is purple, because ghost face is, like, blood, like, he cuts people up and it's bloody.

Yeah, why is it purple? Why is it purple? Shouldn't it be like black or something. Yeah. Especially punch you think of as, like fruit punch. This is berry punch, Mike, very punch.

Berry punch. Oh, other natural flavor that's good. It's a, it's a drac, blah drink. Steak. Steak. It feels like the panel is unanimous here. I feel like we're all fans of this. Yeah, I think it's good.

We're all fans of themselves. Where do you think Ghostface ranks now? Like, has ghosts, I mean, to younger generation, ghost face overtakes Freddie. Let's just be clear. Yeah, he's a big deal now. Among the cavalcade of psycho killers, in cinema.

So who else do we have? Jason, Freddy's. We got Jason Freddy's. But I think we're thinking Jigsaw. Who else are thinking contemporarily? Chuckie.

Chuckie. A terrifier guy. Terrifier guy is a big one. Oh, yeah. I've never seen those movies. Too scary. Really? I wouldn't have you watch that.

Yeah. Oh, you know what's a good vampire Dracula movie is Fright Night. That's a nice one. Watch that one, folks. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the Fright Night is game.

Who were we missing? Who are the other, who are the other horror killers of the day. I feel like there's someone else where, like, a big one we're overlooking, a big franchise. Leather, leather, leather face. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen them in hostel or are there hostile movies.

Is there a bad guy in hostel? Is that a series? Yeah, there's not like a guy. There's no real guy. This is the building that they sleep in? Freaky. It's an evil building. Let's not forget Freaky Nicky from obsession.

That's a new... Freaky Nikki, yeah. But, wait, is that... Megan? Megan, Megan is? Megan the stallion? Yeah, Megan. Megan the Stallion.

I like you. I don't think Frankie and Nicky Cat, it qualifies. Freaky Nikki's out. Yeah. Okay. Frankie Freiko. You guys know Frankie Freiko? Who's Frankie Frego?

Did you just make him up? No, he's a real guy. Who's Frankie Freakow? He's sort of like a garbage pale kid who, like, who invades your home. Wow. I know all about how I don't know Freaky Franco? I'm going to show you some shit, man. Frankie Freak.

What is the name? Are you sure? on Freddie Freeco? Frankie Freiko. Franky Freiko. Five nights at Freddie Freakos? This is a movie or this is a guy? Who is this?

Movie. Frankie Freeco? You know what's really falling off is psycho? Norman Bates. Like, that guy's a fucking psycho. Yeah. I don't know sad. Bad news.

Yeah, I think Ghostface is overtaking a lot of them. He has. He might be like in the top tier these days. He puts in the work. He's out there. Right. That's true. Because you think you're...

Has he surpassed Chuckie, Freddie? Where do you, like, who do you put them ahead? I think, I think for, for younger audiences, absolutely surpass Chuckie and Freddie. You probably have more people dressing as ghostface than those two. And it's kind of cool that it's not one guy, right? You know, you're like, who's in the mask this guy? Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of a, right, a persona that we can all aspire to. I apologize to Jeff. I know Frankie Freakow. I just looked at him. I know who he is. Could you put if you were... Jeff, you accept. I accept.

If you were ghost face, could you put the mask on over your, ghost face mask. Why, I don't even like to think about that. The smoke, you're talking about the smoking. The Jim Carrey mask, yeah. Could you combine that mask with a ghost face mask? Oh, that would be dangerous. Yeah.

He'd be the funniest villain of all time. He really, I mean, he would, especially as a scary movie version. Yeah. So I guess what would happen? It would, it would be like the ghost face would turn green, right? Yeah, right. Yeah. And then it would start having, it would like have, like, funny expressions like the one

from scary movie. That's good. Yeah. That would be good. That's real good. Good. All right, we'll make it happen. Just like a restaurant, I buy your feedback. Let's open the feedback. Who's we? We'll make it. Us collectively.

Today's email's from the Pissmaster. The Pissmaster, writes. Oh, fuck. So you've been sentenced to death on a wrongful conviction and want to stick it to the man one last time. What do you choose as your last meal to make the biggest mess while in the electric chair? Sincerely yours, the Pissmaster. You know, a recency bias, a hoi, but I feel like from your handle, I'm like thinking like, I'm just going to guzzle a bunch of piss. Why are you, why you could drink water? Why are you guzzling pit? You could drink. Because I can...

Explode like a water balloon. There's fucking piss everywhere. They're like, oh, well, we've got all this hot piss to clean out of the electric chair. Well, first of all, yeah. Just to clear things up, they put the thing on your head in the electric chair, they pull the switch and you explode. Yeah, I think that's what would happen.

Liquid's got to go somewhere. Hmm. I would eat shit. Same principle. But yeah, that would be even worse. I guess, yeah, I would, I would, I guess barf is the answer for me. There's no other, if you took piss, you took shit, I need to take barf. I would say a tuna melt.

The tune milk's good. It would be pretty gross. I had one today, very good. Really? Superba. Talk us through your tuna mouth. I got a superba. I went on a general meeting today.

How fun. Okay. Attention. It was me and the general from the commercial. Jack's a real pain in the ass. You want to take over? No, no, General. You guys are great together.

I talked about you. I ordered me and the person. I won't say who it was. Name them. No, actually, he listens to the podcast. Should I just say who it was? No, no, no, no, no. All right, he probably wouldn't care.

His family owns a pizza chain in Chicago, too. This is. I know who it is, I'll say it. Lou Malnati. Is that who you, what your guess was? I was going to say, I met up with what I could, if I could portray him for the next, he gave you his blessing. He gave me his blessing.

But we both, we both, I said, I'm in that tuna melt. And he said, I'm getting the tuna melt. And I said, we're both getting the tune milk. Great move. Get the same thing. How fun is that? I almost, I nearly pivoted to the turkey club, but I was happy because I was, and then he said his, he said that the Jones on third tuna melt beats this one for him, but he,

It is his second favorite tuna melt. And I said, you could do numbers doing a tuna melt ranking of Los Angeles. I said, that would do numbers. You know, this I think is, I think this one is closed now. But there was a fake Jones on Third that was in Santa Monica that was not related. They just called it Jones on Third. Yeah, isn't that wild? That's a few years ago.

You're a Tuna Mout, man. I like a Tuna Melt, yeah. I might like a regular tuna sandwich more than a Tuna Melt, but I like a Tuna Melt. What are your answers here to get? things slop. I guess we said them already. I mean, what's the real answer? Chilly or something? You're going to be a pop. Yeah, I think. It would have been like soda and Alka-Seltzer.

You'd be a bottle of soda. Like, yeah, that's good. A bunch of popcorn kernels, you know. They all cook. You're thinking that you eat the kernels and then they turn on the chair and then. The room fills? You're like a nip-y pop. Some, a lot of ways to play it.

I think the answer is popcorn. I think it's probably that. Thanks, the Pissmaster. Emails to feed bag it for. Popcorn, a good tooth food. by the way. When we're talking about tooth Get in your tooth food, yeah.

That can be a disastrous tooth food. I think that that's, well, you get one of those in your, your teeth during a movie, and then you're just working on it the whole time. Can't focus on the flick. I thought, I thought it was either a popcorn corner or when you and I,

Yusong went to South Beverly Grill that has resulted in my crown being put in. Wow. I had a fucking mustache hair stuck in my, I'd like flossed out of my goats. What a nightmare? That's awful. I was like, I was like,

I look at my tooth here. I looked at the mirror. I was like, Jesus Christ, Mike. And then this guy gives you a solution with a glue stick. And you hate it. I know. I just don't know about it. Do his job. Send us an email at Feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830. Goetho. That's 8304-6-844. Our producer, our producer, Emileverver, our producer, Emilever, Our Video-Eager, our associate producer, our video editor, Mike Dorfman, special thanks to our guest producers today. Casey, Donahue, and Sam Rogich over there on the dais. Casey, do you have anything to plug? Yeah, do y'all have anything to plug? Yeah, why don't you go to the devil loves me deeper.com? We're trying to build a mailing list of people that want to see the movie. We want to take the movie on the road.

Put me on that. So if you go there, we got Mike on the list, and we just need more than Mike. And then if... I do have two emails I can put on there. But yeah, The Devil Loves Me Deeper.com. Join the mailing list so we know what cities to take the movie to. Hell yeah. Awesome.

Check that out. Support a supporting any feature? And Sam, anything going on with Guck? Not currently. We got a record in the hopper, but thanks for the out, fellas. Can we'll follow you anywhere. At Guck Band on Instagram. There you go.

Thanks so much, y'all. And hey, Do Boys merchantkinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And you get the Do Boys double our weekly bonus episode over at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. The sloppy boys, Jeff. Mike Hanford, Tim, Tim, come back. Because that was so fun. This was very great.

Thanks for having us. Listeners, was it a bang? Bangor? Let us know in the comments if it was a bang. Was it a banger or a clanger? Don't give him that option, you cool. Check out the Sloppy Boys vinyl collection. How awesome is that? Like that?

I plug something that might be up to your audience. We are circling it on the dates, but the second week, looking like the second week of October, I'm going to be screening my self-produced comedy special. Stand-up special. Wow. Three nights here in L.A. going to be a little ticket event, timely little tickets, but yeah.

So come out. Look at my Instagram is going to be coming out soon. Check that out. That's so awesome. It's a banger, not a claim. Live, you know, watching it with a big group in a theater. That's fun. Sloppy Boys, the podcast.

Any sloppy things you want to be on the row, but you were writing Rick and Morty in the other room. You walked by, Rick would never say that. Yeah, that's fine. That's the Boobie gets in. Sloppy boys are going to be wrapping up this year with Three shows in Boston, Brooklyn.

New York City. Yep, Brooklyn and Philly. How cool is that? New Year's Eve, Philly. BPP, huh? Boston, Brooklyn, Philly. Yeah, yeah. It's the BBP door.

Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. I know next time for the Spoon Vamp, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Ware-Tiger. Blah. Blare. I don't, what did you call me again? The Spoon Vamp?

The spoon vamp? Do you want something else? Yeah. Give me an alt. Ooh, wooden spoon vamp. Wooden spoon vamp. All right, fine. Blah.

Blah. Bake me scones tonight. I don't want a piece of pie or lemon ice. Hey, everybody. It's your favorite doughboys guest, Mike Hanford. And I want to tell you to check out my brand new stand-up comedy special, Mike Hanford, live in Toronto, coming out on YouTube, October 8. I'm really proud of it, and I think you guys are going to love it. Can't wait for October 8th?

Well, if you're in the Los Angeles area, I'm hosting screenings open to the public on October 5th and 7th at Whammy in Echo Park. Tickets are just five bucks, and you can find them on the gram at Mike Hanford. Or hey, go on Eventbrite.com and type in Mike Hanford, and you'll find it there too. For more information, go to whammyanalog.com. And don't forget to check out Mike Hanford live in Toronto on YouTube, October 8th. Check it out, folks, thanks. Well, gotta go.

Bake me scones tonight. need another cake or jello slice bake me scones tonight listen mitchie just like wiger said be my little baker that was a hate gum podcast