Doughboys - Einstein Bros. Bagels with Tony Rodríguez

Episode Date: August 26, 2021

Tony Rodríguez (The Simpsons, The Late Late Show, Spanish Aquí Presents) joins the 'boys to talk White Castle and childhood chain restaurants before a review of Einstein Bros. Bagels. Plus,... another edition of Family Food.Sources for this week's intro:http://www.fundinguniverse.com/company-histories/einstein-noah-bagel-corporation-history/https://en-academic.com/dic.nsf/enwiki/772821https://www.kveller.com/the-secret-nazi-history-of-einstein-bros-bagels/https://lanthorn.com/61022/opinion/j7p6aats2tmuk1j/https://www.einsteinbros.com/about/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Podcast. Chicago, baby. January 29th. At the Foxwoods Resort in Connecticut, February 4th. And two shows in Boston, baby. At the Wilbur on February 5th. Ticket info at headgum.com slash live. That's headgum.com slash live. Do it. In 1995, Boston Chicken rebranded as Boston Market, reflecting a menu that had grown beyond rotisserie birds. But it's perhaps only the second most impactful brand decision Boston Chicken would make that year, as they also launched a breakfast chain, Progressive Bagel Concepts Incorporated, with its first location in Utah. The company would quickly unveil a more memorable name for its eateries, though it has nothing to do with the wild-haired physicist who discovered the theory of relativity, nor are there actual brothers involved. In fact, the brand is a wholly invented fiction, the brothers as real as the Burger King or the Jollibee. The new Boston Chicken subsidiary employed a novel strategy in the chain restaurant sector of purchasing existing neighborhood bagel shops and unifying
Starting point is 00:01:23 them under one brand, like some kind of bagel borg. And the chain quickly grew into hundreds of locations, buoyed by the 1996 purchase of competitor Noah's. But another merger would prove wildly controversial, and with good reason. In 2014, the chain was bought by German conglomerate J.A.B. Holdings, founded and still owned by the Riemann family. And in 2019, it surfaced that Patriarch Albert Riemann Sr. and Scion Albert Riemann Jr. had, in life, been active members of the Nazi Party, who provided financial support to the SS and Adolf Hitler from as early as 1933, in addition to using forced labor in their factories. The association would be troubling for any company, but potentially disastrous for a bagelry whose brand includes a Jewish surname. JAB Holdings quickly made a paltry charitable donation in a good-enough approximation of an apology. Ultimately,
Starting point is 00:02:14 the controversy proved to be a mere speed bump, as Americans decided the company's output was a good-enough approximation of a bagel, and along with co-brand Noah's, the restaurants today comprise the largest bagel chain in the U.S. This week on Doughboys, Einstein Brothers Bagels. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Achoo Baka, the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. All right, the sneeze thing, the sneeze stuff's got to stop. It's got to stop, Weig's.
Starting point is 00:03:05 You think the sneeze stuff has run its course? You sneezed on the last episode. The most recent Doughboys, you sneezed again. What's the sneeze? These will be known as the sneeze stretch. The stretch of episodes where I'm sneezing a lot. That's when the Doughboys really hit their stride. The sneeze stretch.
Starting point is 00:03:22 No, people will be like, do you remember the sneeze years? And people will be like, yeah, those years sucked. And they're like, how about the other years? And they're like, yeah, those were bad too. That was courtesy of Sean, who writes, thanks, love the show. P.S. I'm not a piece of shit. RoastSpoonMan at gmail.com. No, you're a piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Wise, I want to quickly, I want to give a shout out and say rest in peace to trevor moore was very sad that he passed away oh yeah all right this uh this past week uh this is this will probably come out at a later date but a nice man i talked to him uh i talked to him i haven't seen him a couple years but uh i talked to him one night at a birthday boy's party. I talked to him all night, and he was a nice guy and a funny guy and a true tragedy. So rest in peace to Trevor Moore. Well said. Extremely funny man, fiercely intelligent man, and just a horrible loss. So RIP.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Yeah. Anyways, not to start the show off on a somber note, but Wags, how are you doing? Now, you know what? You always ask me how I'm doing. How are you doing? Are you doing all right? Wow. Thanks for the question, Mitch.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I'm hanging in there. I'm doing okay. I'm doing just fine. Thanks for asking. I was going to ask, I actually had a question for you, Mitch, because we are going to be talking bagels for a good part of today's show. And I know that they call you Mr. Slice, but also they should maybe call you Mr. Hole because you make your home make some bagels as well. You're a bagel man.
Starting point is 00:04:56 You're trying to push Mr. Hole. They call you Mr. Slice because you make pizzas, so it follows you should be called Mr. Hole for making bagels. I don't think that I should be called Mr. Hole. Okay. Well, think about it. I'm Mr. Slice. You slice bagels. It's still Mr. Slice?
Starting point is 00:05:14 You don't hole bagels. Yeah, I'm Mr. Slice. Yeah, but bagels famously have a hole, and you have a slice of pizza. It's fine. We'll roll with Mr. Slice for now. Now I just burped randomly. I had to shove a lunch down, so now I'm burping on Mike. All right, let me pencil in a month worth of burp roasts.
Starting point is 00:05:32 Jesus Christ. Fucking. I couldn't even. I was trying to come up with a burp roast on the spot. Burpadile Dundee. Boris Belchin. Yeah, there we go. Burpadile Dundee. Boris Belchin. Yeah, there we go. Burpadile Dundee's good.
Starting point is 00:05:49 I forgot that it doesn't have to be good. I can just do anything. I was trying to think of a good thing. Literally anything. And then I'm like, oh, it just could be anything. It could be anything at all. Anyways, to Spoonation. Why? The place is a mess.
Starting point is 00:06:05 I got so much shit going on. I got to fly back east at some point soon again. There's just too much going on. Yeah, I mean, look. Seasons. We're going to... First off, you have to fly back east
Starting point is 00:06:20 by choice. So that's not like... No, actually, I do have to go for work. Oh, okay. I that you're going to actually i do have to go for work oh okay i thought you had some i thought you were going to like a dave matthews thing i am but that's just before that's the week before it okay well that is by choice yeah it is by choice so i'm going i'm going back a little early to see a concert okay just clarifying uh it's It's a, yeah, look, we're a little harried. We've got a lot
Starting point is 00:06:48 going on. A lot going on. This week in particular. It's fine. It's all going to be fine. We know what we're doing. We know how to do this show. And we have a fantastic guest. We do have a fantastic guest. Here's the deal. I've got to play a drop. But there just isn't, there isn't
Starting point is 00:07:04 one drop king. Oh's the deal. I got to play a drop, but there just isn't one. Drop King. Oh, Drop King. There isn't one specified in the approved drops folder. I have it. He forwarded me the email. Okay, it looks like Emma's on the job. Emma, what is the name of the email? Just tell me the subject title. Baby's First Drop. Okay, that's what I'm going to play. Baby's First Drop. Here we go. That's what i thought it was that i that's what i had here ready why because that's what i had ready to go but i uh but i wasn't sure i wasn't 100 sure yeah you wanted to wait to make sure until we were uh recording the episode what the fuck do you want from me? I don't know. You could have checked in advance.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Oh, I could have checked in advance. That's fine. People love this. I gave the keys. I handed the keys over to the fucking drop email. It's not mine anymore. Okay. Here we go. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Are you ready for it? Logs, are you ready for a little drop? It's never been more ready. Are you sure? Yeah. Buckle in, because it's going to be a good drop. All right. I'm fastening my seatbelt, strapping into my harness.
Starting point is 00:08:16 All right. Here we go. A little drop. Putting on my helmet, lowering my goggles. A brand spanking new drop. Putting on some gloves. What are you preparing for? Putting on a parachute.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Wags. The fuck are you preparing for? I'm just ready. Alright, here we go, Wags. Here it comes. A hot new drop. for Mr. Hole. Here it comes. When I was a young boy, my dad went to the Supreme Court.
Starting point is 00:09:03 I had a high C grapefruit juice box in his back pocket. My dad was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. And then they were like, sir, we're going to have to search you. And they pulled him over to the side and patted him down. And he was like, it's the fucking juice box. And then I remember even as a boy being like, you can throw it away now. I like to collect trash. Wow. Wow. I remember like even as a boy being like, you can throw it away now. I like to collect the trash.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Wow. Wow. The black parade added in that little juice box story. Were you, was your dad, was he arguing a case in front of the Supreme Court? Yeah. He was arguing that his son is actually really smart um justice briar was like no come on what are you doing uh howdy mitch i'm late to the doughboys game but i have listened to so many episodes in the past month that my road that my rhode Island accent has started to come back from listening to you nonstop.
Starting point is 00:10:10 Why? What is my fault? I don't know if this is a curse or a blessing yet. Love the show. Patrick Duggan at Mr. Patrick Duggan on Twitter. Thanks, Pat. And this was baby's first drop.
Starting point is 00:10:23 So this was his first drop. thanks pat uh and that and this was baby's first drop so this was his first drop a clip an obscure old clip where my dad brought in the uh yeah the high c grapefruit juice box because i because my my obsessive compulsive disorder at that point in my life while i was a child i was saving trash i didn't want to throw anything away yeah so had it in his back pocket they they and you've grown out of that i mean my house is filled with trash right now but i i do throw it away now but it just i haven't yet um right they would be creepy if you saw a bunch of high c grapefruit juice boxes behind me but yeah no they brought the security like brought because my dad didn't know what it was and then he then he found out it was a juice box.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I think it was after like, I think they really searched him. I think like. Full cavity? Yeah, from front to, I think they touched his tonsils. If you catch my drift. Geez. Yeah, it was, remember back in the 90s where that was uh that was the gag is someone got it was someone got a a full cavity search yes yeah i think that was before that we all like just
Starting point is 00:11:33 became aware that oh wait that we actually have a a deeply invasive and corrupt security state that we live in that's actually quite horrific. Yeah. There was a time when it was like, oh, we're having a laugh. Yeah. My dad was not having a laugh that day. My first trip to D.C. as a little boy. And I think not your last, future President Mitchell.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Well, it's possible I I remember as a little boy like um like I pulled my dad's arm and I said dad democrats and republicans they should get around get along and work for the american people I remember I remember saying this as a little boy wow like those bullshit tweets that people put out where they're they're like yeah mommy why is why is the bad orange man hating people stop lying stop using your children to lie for your tweets and your likes your retweets you're gonna say that your your that your child talks about peace on earth and how the democratic process is broken. Shut up. That's fucking bullshit.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Yeah, no one's buying it. No one's buying it. Stop lying. People are buying it. I mean, people are buying it. Yes, of course. Stuff gets shared over and over again, and then those people sell books.
Starting point is 00:13:02 So maybe it's fine. You know what's the least interesting thing is to hear about your little shitty kid uh-huh talking about the state of the world i don't give a shit about the little city don't i don't care about it anyways mommy why is mitch mcconnell overusing the filibuster god shut up that's not what the filibuster is intended for shut the fuck up either your kid's a fucking freak which is possible that you got a little freak kid or you're just making it up you're making it up for retweets and likes don't do it i saw a variant i saw a variant of that which was the grandma like someone's like got like the or the 90 yearold grandma who's seen it all,
Starting point is 00:13:47 and they make some fake thing that like, you know. My grandma was just watching the TV, and she was like. And she looked at me, she said, honey. Why is Mitch McConnell misusing the filibuster? She talks. Grandma's a freak. She talks like a little kid. 114,000 likes,
Starting point is 00:14:10 127,000 retweets. You know what? Chrissy Teigen has it as her pinned tweet. She's like, everyone loves it so much. And now I think about it, I got to pop out a little kid, take advantage of this shit.
Starting point is 00:14:25 Yeah, I mean, we know the issue with that. Yeah, there's a few. Well, the issue, one, a woman to find. Yes. And to agree to have this happen where we give a birth to a child. Two, working dick. All right, let's introduce our guest. Speaking of which. Two, working dick. All right, let's introduce our guest.
Starting point is 00:14:46 Speaking of which. This guy's got the best working dick in the game. Very, very excited to talk with him today. From The Simpsons and The Late Late Show and the podcast, Spanish Aki presents, Tony Rodriguez is here. Hi, Tony. Hey, guys. I haven't seen you in, like, weeks. That's right.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Since we're on a video call for your podcast, but we're very, very happy to have you here. Tony, I have lots to discuss with you, but one thing I want to talk about is something that came up when we guested on your podcast, which is that you spent a lot of, you spent a good period of time touring the country doing theater. Is that correct? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're traveling a ton for this. While you're doing this, did you find any go-to chain restaurants? Was there a report where you were like, okay, well, you know what? An Applebee's
Starting point is 00:15:42 is always going to deliver. Was there any place where you were just sort of like, I'll gravitate towards this for comfort's sake? I feel like Ruby Tuesdays was a comfort thing. Ruby Tuesdays. Yeah. I don't know. I think they had like fun cocktails. That was like a treat.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Like, oh, we've been on a long stretch. I used to did touring of children's theater. It was a union job. There you go. But yeah, I got to do see every chain restaurant like the Midwest and Ruby. Yeah, Ruby Tuesdays in the Midwest, right?
Starting point is 00:16:16 Yes. Yeah, there's I don't know if there's any out here. Mitch, you ever been to a Ruby Tuesdays? Yeah, I think we went to the one for the show. No, we have not reviewed Ruby Tuesdays for D, I think we went to the one for the show. No, we have not reviewed Ruby Tuesdays for Doughboys. I'm pretty confident about that. No?
Starting point is 00:16:30 No, what did you? No, I don't think so. I think you're wrong. You think we reviewed Ruby Tuesdays for Doughboys? Do you want me to get an answer? No, I've looked right now. We haven't done it.
Starting point is 00:16:43 Okay. Really? Oh, we didn't. No, we haven't reviewed it. We did Red Robin. Yeah, we've looked right now. We haven't done it. Okay. Oh, really? Oh, wow. No, we haven't reviewed it. We did Red Robin. Yeah, we've done Red Robin. What is that? Red Robin is like Ruby Tuesdays adjacent.
Starting point is 00:16:53 It's more burger focused. Ruby Tuesdays, I think, has a little bit more of a broader menu. What is the difference between Ruby Tuesdays and TGI Fridays? And let's say Applebee's for that matter. They're all similar. They're all what used to be they're all similar. They're all
Starting point is 00:17:05 what, what we used to be called fern bars. They're just sort of like these, these chain restaurant, you know, bar grill hybrids, uh, that have a lot of artificial plants and they, um, you know, the sugary cocktails and, and barbecue and, and Southwest food and, and burgers and, and chicken sandwiches on the menu and big salads. It's all kind of the same stuff, which is different brands. Yeah. Ooh. Oh, I just remembered Fuddruckers. Oh, yeah, Fuddruckers.
Starting point is 00:17:33 Fuddruckers, the one in Burbank has closed, sadly. The one in Santa Monica closed, too. They're starting to shutter a little bit, I think because it's such a dine-in experience. The quarantine hit it pretty hard. But I love Fuddruckers. I was a big Fuddruckers fan from childhood. Same, same, same, same.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Were you hitting that up? So like you're touring, you're going into different cities. Would you hit up a Fuddruckers? I feel like some parts of the Midwest are just uncreative with cuisine. Like it's just what is in town is like you check in and ask whatever hotel we're in, like, oh, what's good to eat? Oh, you need to go to the blank chain restaurant on this street. And it's rarely like sample the local.
Starting point is 00:18:19 Indiana, Indianapolis. Well, no, Indianapolis would have some cuisine. But, like, you know, smaller town. Yeah. Yeah, smaller towns than that. And this also makes me think of another thing that we talked about on the show, which is you have a distinct distaste for a chain that a lot of people love,
Starting point is 00:18:37 White Castle. God. Oh, my God. You just say it. You're really wretched. These diced onions or whatever what whatever shit they used on their birds oh i hated so much oh my god i hated it wow yeah visceral i wow did you did you have one bad experience in particular or was it just sort of like every time you had it it it made you feel
Starting point is 00:19:02 sick i think i tried it twice and i guess like with a lot of things i'm like i'm good we like it you're like it's someone you've dated twice you're like yes we're good if you're not yeah yeah i mean i've been on the i'm on the other side of that a few times but yes oh i'm sorry yeah that's all right i'm married now so there you go okay there you go how often does nat Natalie say I'm good every time she sees you? I honestly like, yeah, it's pretty, pretty frequent.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Happened this morning. Oh yeah. I don't know, Mitch. You we've talked about, we talked about when Chris Gethard was here, Chris Gethard loves white castle. He's he's from New Jersey and I guess it's a big thing out there,
Starting point is 00:19:43 but I've, I've never really had proper White Castle except for visiting East Coast locations for the podcast. Mitch, you like the White Castle burgers. You like the frozen burgers. I do, yeah. I like the frozen burgers. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:19:55 You know, maybe it's a Jersey thing. Look, if you told me the state of Jersey was made from garbage, I'd believe you. Oh, no. What, I can't roast Jersey a little bit? I lived in Jersey for like a year and a half when I was a kid. Can I talk like this if I lived in Jersey? Yeah, 100%.
Starting point is 00:20:14 You've heard the right. I think I lived in the prettiest part of New Jersey and that was my favorite part when I was a kid. I didn't want to leave it. There are beautiful parts of Jersey. I mean, look. They call it the Garden State.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Right. The garden is under garbage. Jersey is just... Here's the thing with Jersey. I went to school in upstate New York. There were Jersey kids there and Long Island kids, Gabrus. Gabrus wasn't there, but I'm just saying. were kids there were long island kids like gabrus yeah well no one's really like gabrus but well but um i just remember jersey kids so often being like fucking boston got you know what i mean like and i was like yeah right god sucks uh i was just i was just completely it
Starting point is 00:21:06 was just i was just completely outnumbered there as far as and then also like i'd meet the boston kids and the boston kids would kind of always suck a little bit like where they were like western mass kids who's like why stop dude we're boston too and i'm like oh you suck yeah i guess just everyone sucks But I also I suck the most Right So it was one of those situations where I just you know I went to my Dorm room and uh Stickied up the sheets
Starting point is 00:21:34 We know what you're doing there Okay It's uh wait so you lived in Jersey for a while I know you lived in New York City for many Years. A crucification if you will Yes we know we We got it. With what? You didn't need the follow-up. What is a crusty with?
Starting point is 00:21:52 Smucker's jam. My steaks were crusty with jam. I think I'd go see a doctor, right? right? Yeah, I did live in New York as an adult for many, many years. Nowhere longer in my life, New York. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Because I moved around a lot as a kid. Right. And then, yeah. So New York, I mean, obviously New York City has many, many eats, but one of them is adjacent to the topic we're discussing today, which is bagels. Did you develop a taste for bagels, did they import the water from New York? Because they're really good. Wow.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Okay. I will say, are we getting into it? Are we just getting into it? We usually get into it a little later, but we can touch on it. Okay, I'll touch on it then. My memory of New York bagels are, they're bigger and they they'll they
Starting point is 00:23:08 like load it up when you order whatever you order yes it's like a thick ass sandwich and i love it and miss it i haven't i haven't had it here in los angeles because the water yes it's i mean like that's a there there really isn't a place that compares to what they have in New York. I say that as someone who's never lived in New York, but from everything I've heard. But when you get an authentic New York bagel, were you a schmear man? Would you put butter on it? Would you get the egg sandwich? What did you go with?
Starting point is 00:23:41 I'm a butter man. I'm not a schmear man. Although I did try some for this episode. I'm a butter man i'm not a schmear man although i did try some for this episode uh i'm a butter man egg man i loved uh uh the nova locks but without a schmear which i guess is maybe sacrilegious probably i have no idea yeah it's almost like a morning i'm just making this up right now it's like sampling different flavors like a morning, I'm just making this up right now. It's like sampling different flavors, like a morning pizza. Right. I want cinnamon raisin today, but evening version would be like,
Starting point is 00:24:13 do I want pineapple and ham? Right. Yeah, coffees. These places that have good bagels usually have really great coffee too, for whatever reason. Unless it's the water, again. New York water. Could be. Might be. New York water. coffee too for whatever reason unless it's the water again new york water could be might be new york water i i i new york bagels are are very good but i'm also like as we know i'm mr hole
Starting point is 00:24:33 i make my own bagels now and they're very good yes um but uh last time i went i got russ and daughters bagels they're great um but my question is my question is, what's the go-to place? Russ and Daughters, I think, was one of the top spots. And then Wags, I was thinking of the last time we were in NYC. And did I get Essa bagel? I think that's one of them, too. Essa bagel. I'd be amazed if you had time for Essa bagel last time we were in New York City.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Because we were in there, I felt like, for about 14 hours. We got in super late. We did two shows. We went to bed, and then we got up, and we got on a train to Boston that I almost missed. Ah, fucking Boston. Well, you'd be surprised when I can fit a bagel and i i can i can make a bagel you know what it was i think it was the time even before that when we were when we were when we went downstairs to that like comic remember we were like in the basement of like a new york like
Starting point is 00:25:37 that's right what was the fest yes there was a there was a podcast festival that was happening in New York, and it was the same venue as DragCon. And so DragCon was in the top level and was just like – Right, at least so. Yeah, there were so many people there. It was absolutely packed. It was – comparatively, it was like 500 to 1 audience yes like audience size like 500 and for every one person doughboys had there were 500 yes like like it was it was that level of of we were like very much like the dinky thing and like the dinky show in the basement yeah we were literally in the basement so that the top
Starting point is 00:26:20 level is is everyone there for drag con and everyone looks fantastic like it's just like you like, you know, the people are having the time of your life, their lives. Meanwhile, down in the basement to see the doughboys. There's us. We're like, and we're like the best dressed people down there. And we look like we do now wearing like t-shirts and basketball shorts, all these like hunched podcast dorks, you know, queuing up to watch our show in an air-conditioned basement. Yeah, it was a weird scene. You were in the building to record a live version of your podcast, but it was not a part of a, was it part of a convention? It was completely unaffiliated, completely unaffiliated. There happened to be, the same building, I think it was the Javits Center, and there were two different festivals going on. One podcast festival and then DragCon. Oh my God. Weird double booking.
Starting point is 00:27:07 That's amazing. But I had a good time. By the way, you know what? We love you, you freaks. To our fans? Bring in all the freaks. The hunched over freaks. Give us Quasimodo. We like Quasi. Quasi gets too much shit. That's our demographic.
Starting point is 00:27:24 If you are up in a bell tower by yourself and you need some companions in your ear holes, subscribe to the Doughboys podcast. We're there for you. I agree. If you're relegated to the sewers and occasionally you surface for air to search for provisions, maybe strike up a friendship with a surface dweller that should, you know, they would never speak of. If you're that kind of person, listen to the Doughboys. We're there for you. I want to see the middle of the Venn diagram
Starting point is 00:27:55 where these two communities overlap, the drags and the quadrimodals. Oh, yeah. I know there must, there is. The drags and the Quasimodos. Oh, yeah. I know there is. Like, fantastic mythical drag. Or bell tower drag.
Starting point is 00:28:14 If we were sucked into, like, the Disney-verse, why was you and I, if we were sucked into the Disney-verse, like, there's no doubt in my mind that I would end up being quasi. Like, if it was, like, a similar thing as to... Oh. Disney verse like there's no doubt in my mind that I would end up being quasi like like like if it was like a like a similar thing as to oh if it was like a similar thing to like a Jumanji
Starting point is 00:28:33 where you okay where you get sucked in and you're like a playing a character I would I would I would be quasi or LeFou who was my original I was LeFou in the original one of my
Starting point is 00:28:44 first performances on stage in Beauty and the Beast. The candlestick? No, LeFou was Gaston's sidekick. Oh, right. The fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, is that Gad? It's Gad now.
Starting point is 00:29:02 I had Gad's role. Yep. Gad actually stole the role from me. Oh, wow. Wow. I originated the role at Raise the Curtain in North Quincy High School. Wow. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:29:15 That's fascinating. And then Disney did the animated version. Yes. Okay. I see. I see. I followed. Not to brag, but I've done
Starting point is 00:29:26 Beauty and the Beast with Josh Gad in a crosswalk at James Corden wow who are you playing a clock or maybe a bookcase or something
Starting point is 00:29:41 furniture I was a piece of furniture wow doesn't sound so good when I say it a bookcase or something. Furniture. I was a piece of furniture. Wow. Doesn't sound so good when I say it like that. I believe you and your response sounded like a lie. What did you play in Beauty and the Beast? A clock. Or I don't know, a piece of furniture. Yeah. Maybe a doctor? I don't remember. I don't remember.
Starting point is 00:29:59 I think that those, I mean, I was just going to say that there's a lot of horniness that goes on with like the living clock and the living sofa and stuff. You know what I mean? Like people get horny. People get horny for it. Yeah, that's a whole Rule 34 side of the internet of just people who are so like get like anything anthropomorphic. People find a way to want to have sex with it.
Starting point is 00:30:20 That was happening with a character from your movie. We talked about this the other day. Yes. There was a, I stumbled upon a tweet and it was like a, and like, cause I was just looking at Tomorrow War stuff and see how people liked it. And then there was like a tweet with just like a white spike and a guy was like, this, this Twitter user was like, hmm.
Starting point is 00:30:41 And then I was like, what is this? And below it, I saw like people being like oh no don't do it and then like it was just like responses like that like you can't man can you do it and then like i was reading down i was like oh this guy draws things horny and like he was like he like put up a picture of the white spike and was like hmm should i draw it horny and people were like no don't like but they were like they also wanted him to do it yes and then he drew it horny and people were like no don't like but they were like they also wanted him to do it yes and then he drew it horny he drew like a horny sexy spike yeah baby i mean i get it it's it's kind of it's kind of uh this isn't exactly but kind of mewtwo adjacent like you know kind of could be sexualized the same sort of way uh but yeah that's that i saw that tweet i also saw another tweet um
Starting point is 00:31:22 that was like uh i was just watching uh the tomorrow war uh with my three-year-old and she said mommy how come the white spike has to hurt quiz they should they should god damn it should be a pull quote on the poster mommy God damn it. It should be a pull quote on the poster. Mommy, how come? Congrats, by the way, movie star. Thank you very much. It's exciting. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Mommy, how come? I heard this too. Mommy, how come Cowan has to sacrifice himself to save the rest of them? Shouldn't he live to the end? And, you know, the kid is a smart kid. Right. That was posted by Mrs. Mitchell of Quincy, Massachusetts, about her son.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Well, I was wondering if the way that they anthropomorphize, I kind of said that right, white spikes, if they would do the same for uh for me for my character oh are you asking for a horny fan art of yourself because i assure you that exists 100 i assure you that is being distributed already uh tony i want to ask you a completely different subject but this is the thing you brought up just before recording which is that as a kid you lived in mexico for a time, and a lot of your
Starting point is 00:32:45 impression of America was via chain restaurants, and you mentioned Burger King specifically. Is that correct? Yes. Yeah. Wow. My mother is from Indiana, and we lived in Mexico City, but we would visit family once a year in the summer, and we would have Burger King, McDonald's, and I remember like that i thought america was that was burgers wow i guess i wasn't wrong no you weren't that you weren't that far off not at all i was gonna because i know you've never
Starting point is 00:33:18 touched talked about burger king in the history of this podcast but i was i was gonna like bring it up because i haven't had it in years. I wanted to know, does it hold up to childhood memories and stuff? But I remember toys. I think gremlins, you associate kids, I think, associate these fast food restaurants with toy tie-ins.
Starting point is 00:33:39 I have memories of Muppets and gremlins from the Burger King stuff. When we were leaving Mexico City to go to New Jersey, they were opening up the very first McDonald's. I think it was when they were starting to branch out.
Starting point is 00:33:56 In Mexico City. In Mexico City. I never went, but it was not too far from my school. And I remember on the school bus, I would see a line like going down the street people were just hungry for american food imports it felt it felt exotic in mexico for mcdonald's to be there um right they have had such a power in our psyche huh yeah
Starting point is 00:34:19 it really is something it really is our greatest cultural export in a way it's like fast food and chain restaurants yeah it's um i so did you have like like was it burger king like what did you look forward to when you were going to when you're visiting american fast food chains whoppers 100% burger king wow 100% burger king whoppers the the fries the shakes mcdonald's was okay i was i i thought the big mac was like a meal's was okay. I thought the Big Mac was like a meal that someone you would share with the family. That was just your sense of American portions?
Starting point is 00:34:55 Yeah. Oh, Dairy Queen. I love Dairy Queen. I didn't realize there were chains, though. I guess, obviously, what does a kid know? Kids are dumb. That's why they're asking questions, though. I guess, obviously, what does a kid know? Kids are dumb. Right. That's why they're asking questions, right?
Starting point is 00:35:08 Mommy this, mommy that. Mommy, how come Dairy Queen has over 8,000 North American locations? I hate hearing your child voice. It fucking curses me out. Nellie's used to it. Jesus. All right. We're going to talk about another chain with a lot of locations with a large footprint. We'll be back to discuss Einstein Brothers Bagels in just one moment with more Doughboys.
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Starting point is 00:39:04 Welcome back to Doughboys. We are here with Tony Rodriguez discussing this week's chain, Einstein Brothers Bagels. Now, Mitch, there are a lot of chain restaurant connections in the history of Einstein Brothers Bagels. First off, it was founded by the owners of your own Boston Market. Boston Market's attempt at a breakfast chain is the origin, the genesis of Einstein Brothers. That's right. Panera Bread announced they were merging with Einstein Brothers Bagels and also Caribou Coffee to form like kind of the yum brands of breakfast. It's Panera Bread, Einstein Brothers, and Caribou will all be under the same umbrella. I don't know if they're going to unify brands or if they're going to keep those three separate brands going, but they're all going to be the same company now. Here's another fun fact, a less fun fact.
Starting point is 00:40:01 a less fun fact for a time for a time Panera I'm sorry for a time Einstein Brothers Bagels was owned by a German holding company
Starting point is 00:40:10 JAB Holdings that it was later revealed was founded by members by members of the Nazi party what the fuck so Nazi owned Einstein Brothers Bagels
Starting point is 00:40:20 that was a huge controversy and I think that's all been resolved now but that is a part of his past what what the founders the founders of jab holdings so this was a company that was founded in like the 40s they were uh hitler supporters who were also members of the nazi party that company continued to operate for like you know 50 something years 60 something years then it acquires einstein brothers bagels uh obviously a big you know hit 50 something years, 60 something years, then it acquires Einstein Brothers bagels, uh, obviously a big, you know, hit for the brand to be, uh, to have that affiliation. So
Starting point is 00:40:50 I think that's all been resolved. And I think with the Panera Bread merger, it's completely, they've completely severed that partnership. And with a German, a famous German, uh, isn't it? Is Einstein German? Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah yeah he is right i think i believe he was a german jewish exile yes so but i don't know if their name for i don't know if it's named for albert einstein i think einstein brothers is its own thing all right well anyway i'm glad i exposed this company's nazi past uh but let's move on from that to the food. And by the way, Mitch, I want to talk about, we didn't mention. I want to quickly say, no one go digging into Doughboy LLC, their history. Don't look at our previous podcast network.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Mitch, you had Irma crawling up on your lap for a second. It was cute as the Dickens. Yeah, where is she now? Oh, you're right here. Come here. Here she is. You know what? I'm going to get a good meow from her into the mic right now, I bet. Hey, Irm. Wow. There we go. She did it.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Hi, baby. Right on cue. Is she a voiceover artist? She's very good with the meows. How you doing? It's a great meow. Classic meow. She's a good cat. Thereows how you doing it's a great meow classic meow she's a good cat there she is wags yeah she was she was sleeping in the other room i went in and saw her she meowed at me and then she uh she followed me out now she's here for the pod well that's great mug on that kitten yeah good cat while he's sleeping on the couch he didn't he didn't he didn't join us um well why is einstein brothers is
Starting point is 00:42:28 interesting to me because i grew up in duncan in duncan territory of course quincy yes and then there was an einstein i think across from milton marketplaces where there was an einstein bagels milton being kind of the more snooty town. Home of a couple comedians who... Oh, now she's... There she goes. Now she's... Now we're just seeing her butt and tail on the camera. Meow. Here you go, Alex.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Here's a full... I'm going to give you a full butt shot. Oh. Oh. Oh, we didn't ask for that. I gave a little close-up of Irma's butthole. Clean as a whistle, which I demand. I demand in this household. But there was an Einstein Brothers across the street from Milton Marketplace, I believe. And to me, it always just seemed like a little bit.
Starting point is 00:43:24 It did seem like a little bit. This is young Mitch thinking it was a little bit snootier. And who cares? It was kind of like this little snootier place. Who cares about this little snootier place? But I did also have it. And I was like, no, it's pretty good. And that's kind of where my thoughts on it kind of ended.
Starting point is 00:43:41 I was just like, oh, it's pretty good to go there. But I just get Dunkin'. So what is the point of this place? Yes. I will say, going back to it, not having been there in a very long time, I went to the one over... It's basically over in Pasadena.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Me too. Did you? Yeah. I went to two. You went to two? That's above and beyond. Oh, wow. You went to two. Yeah. That's above and beyond. Oh, is it? Yeah. I mean, we barely.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Yeah. You put too much work into this podcast, we're saying. But thank you. We appreciate it. We've barely been to any restaurants. We just lie about it. I went to the one in Pasadena. It's on Lake Ave.
Starting point is 00:44:23 That's the one I went to. I don't know if you went to the one on Lake Avenue. That's one of the ones I went to. Again, I did too much work. Oh, wow. All right. Here's the thing, though. I found out that most of these locations
Starting point is 00:44:37 close at 2. So that is a difference with Duncan's, and it was a sort of situation where I realized I wasn't going to even be able to get it unless I like quickly went and got it on Saturday, which is the same day I had to shoot a short thing and then go and saw Suicide Squad that night
Starting point is 00:44:54 Wags for another podcast. And so I downloaded the app, the Einstein Brothers app, and you know what, Wags? I think it's a pretty good app it's a good app i think the app is pretty good it worked for me it worked pretty well for me so i drove over there i i uh i i ordered on the app and then i and then i went inside and and uh and and picked it up and it was
Starting point is 00:45:22 ready just within a few minutes it was on on this, it was sitting on the table, the pickup table. Uh, and should I just get into what I got? Please do. I'll just say, I'll just say this aside real quick. The having a good app for a breakfast place is a big checkmark in its,
Starting point is 00:45:36 in its favor, because that's usually the time when you're most rushed. I got to grab something before work or whatever. So yeah, if they have a good app that you can make an, uh, efficiently put your order in and have it be ready to go, that's, that's ideal.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Uh, yeah. Tell us about your order, Mitch. But hold on a second. You're, you're the app guy. And then, and then you, and then you, and then you didn't, you didn't use the app. I don't, I just don't get what happened. How did this, how did this fall apart? I'll tell you why I didn't use the app because my decision to go to Einstein was kind of
Starting point is 00:46:03 an impulse. I like, it wasn't like I was, I I was like it wasn't as premeditated. I was like, oh, there's an Einstein there. You know what? I'm going to go. But we'll get to that in a second. But tell us about your food, Mitch. Well, I'm stalling because I'm trying to because I'm trying to find my order. OK, well, while you're stalling,ony had you been to einstein brothers prior to this episode no i'd only ever had it on tv and film sets when it was like a treat you know those early morning call times and someone brings us those yellow boxes and bagels are so rare now for i don't eat them that often so that's the only experience i've ever had with einstein's brothers bagels
Starting point is 00:46:45 before yeah that's it's uh when you got food waiting for you at work that's that's always a treat always a delight i want to ask while you're looking at your order is duncan donuts i don't associate i guess they do have some breakfast stuff right but it's mostly donuts and coffee right do they have breakfast like sandwiches like they would here at Einstein's Brothers Bagels? Yeah, they do. They do. They have a... Yeah, they got a lot of stuff like that where they...
Starting point is 00:47:13 Yeah, the breakfast sandwiches. They tried to do a bit of like a more of like a lunch sort of deal for a while. And then they stopped doing that. Yeah. Do they still have like that tuna salad or whatever? They used to have that for a while, and then they stopped doing that. Yeah, did they still have, like, that tuna salad or whatever? They used to have that for a time? At Dunkin'? Yeah, they did.
Starting point is 00:47:31 They pulled back a lot of stuff. I would not do that. I would not do that. Yeah, I don't know if I've sampled their Dunkin's lunch fare, but I do actually like their breakfast sandwiches like i'll get like you know just a i think that'll actually they actually have one of the better fast food breakfasts aside from just donuts wise here i was complimenting this app
Starting point is 00:47:56 and you know what there's no place where i i realized that i signed up with like you know how apple you can do like the fake, you can do the fake, like, like they send you like the, they send you a fake email. Like it's the Apple. Yeah. Hide my email.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Yeah. Hide my email. That's, that's what I did. And so, and so now I'm like, I'm complimenting this, this app left and right.
Starting point is 00:48:18 And now I'm realizing, realizing that I don't even know what the, there's no order history on here, but I can, it doesn't have your order history saved. Okay. I remember what I got. So I'm going to go with.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I had a try and everything bagel, and I was very close to getting an onion bagel because you don't see the onion bagel around as much anymore. And they kind of, I think they said like the onion bagel was like new or something. Or it's back. That was the banner on it. It's back. Duncan famously got rid of the onion bagel was like new or something or it's, it's back. That's what, that was the banner on it is it's back. Duncan famously got rid of their onion bagel. That's everything bagels.
Starting point is 00:48:50 I don't need bagel is great, but I wanted to try the everything bagel. So I got the everything bagel. I got it for as far as, uh, the way I had it prepared. I had it with, with,
Starting point is 00:48:59 uh, I got it with schmear, which this is a place. This is the, this is the snooty stuff I'm talking about. It's a schmear place. They go with schmear. They don't call it cream cheese.
Starting point is 00:49:09 They call it schmear. They call it schmear. Yeah. Which I don't know. In the war of schmear versus cream cheese. I'm a cream cheese guy, but I went with the onion and chive schmear. Schmear also doesn't sound great schmear is weird sounding it makes me think of pap smear which is a thoroughly unpleasant image
Starting point is 00:49:32 yeah and and procedure from what i've heard i went with an everything bagel toasted with the the onion and chive schmear and i thought it was was pretty good. I mean, and this is the big thing. This is the bagels, right? This is the thing that they got to have a good bagel. And they do. It's the whole thing. They have a quality bagel. And I was eating it.
Starting point is 00:49:54 And I was like, this is probably better than Duncan's bagels now, right? I mean, like, Duncan's a lot of times they come in kind of hard. They can feel old. They're not baked on site. this is a little bit softer i i kind of thought it was i i maybe thought it was a better bagel um then i also i had to get myself a an egg sandwich and i went with the all-nighter which is cage-free fresh cracked eggs with thick cut bacon, American cheese, and jalapeno garlic aioli on a fresh baked cheesy hash brown gourmet bagel. Sounds great.
Starting point is 00:50:32 I thought it was pretty good. It was pretty good. It's a funny thing of like, I actually maybe think that the Dunkin' breakfast sandwiches are better, and I like that you can get it on a croissant there. And like, it looked kind of basic but it just did have it just had a good taste to it it was it i mean this as a compliment you ever have you ever gotten like a breakfast sandwich in like a hospital and you're like this is pretty
Starting point is 00:50:55 good this this is like like this is like like like like like it's a sort of thing of like this is surprisingly good for like a storefront place in a hospital that has like a good bagel sandwich not not that specific experience but i've had i had that on jury duty i like got it from like a cafeteria there and i was like oh this is a pretty good sandwich this is surprisingly surprisingly tasty that's kind of how i felt about it it was like a good sandwich where i was like this still feels like a little bit artificial in many ways and it is just like and i know duncan is the same thing but i was like but it's still this is still tasty i like that aioli quite a bit add a little bit of a kick to it um i was enjoying it i also got myself for drinks i got myself a large iced vanilla latte and this was good i mean like for a place where i didn't think the coffee would be good at all it was it was decent i i wish there was more ice in it um there there was there was there was not
Starting point is 00:51:52 a ton of ice in it and it kind of melted even just uh like by the time i got in my car and it was one of those it was one of those parking lots where like they give you a ticket and it's like first 90 minutes free you have to get it you have to get it stamped and it's like first 90 minutes free. You have to get it. You have to get it stamped. And I was like, all right, fine. And then, and then, and then,
Starting point is 00:52:08 but I wanted to eat in my car too. You know what I mean? Like, it was just the thing of like, why even, why, why 90 minutes free? That's all.
Starting point is 00:52:16 People were just coming in here to use fucking to, to go to fucking Einstein's or the, or like another place right there. Why, why, why, why do we got to charge here? People aren't leaving their car overnight.
Starting point is 00:52:27 You can just sort of – it's fine. Let people park there. There's no scam here. Anyways, I got myself – is it Simply Orange Juice? What's like the – I didn't catch what brand they had, but they have – at my location, they had orange juices like pre-poured in plastic cups with lids. So there's Simply Orange, which is like the bottled branded one, and that's what I ordered. The bottled brand, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:52 But when I got in there, Wags, I saw one of those fresh squeezed in the cups, and I said, you know what? I want one of those. So I got one of those bad boys, and that's what I drank along with my meal. So it was a bit of the coffee and a bit of the orange juice. And you know what? I appreciate that fresh squeezed orange juice. I like that. I like that it's there.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I like that option. And I think it's tasty. And honestly, that's going to make me buy an orange juice if I see one of those. I'm more likely to buy that than the Simply. I get why they do Simply. There's probably some food waste with the fresh squeezed orange juice but uh i really enjoyed that that oj it was it was uh it was fantastic um yeah and then um and then yeah the like i said the the the vanilla the iced vanilla latte was decent you're gonna get a better version of that at a different place but
Starting point is 00:53:42 it was still it was still good and then finally i got myself a better version of that at a different place, but it was still good. And then finally, I got myself a little sweet treat on the side. I thought that they had donuts, and I didn't see a single. What I realized was what I thought was donuts were just like a chocolate birthday cake party bagel and a churro party bagel, which feels like an abomination. They have some weird sweet bagels. Yeah. I should have gotten it just for the, because they look like fucking monstrosities. But I went with a blueberry muffin,
Starting point is 00:54:12 which I still have the most of it here, but I ate that. There was no, but I wonder if there was a way to get it sliced and heated up with some butter, but I just got it as it was, and it was pretty good, and I got the rest of it here in the bag. Maybe I'll heat it up with some butter. But I just got it as it was, and it was pretty good. And I got the rest of it here in the bag. Maybe I'll heat it up right now. Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:30 All right. While he's doing that, Tony, you made two separate trips. I did. Talk us through your experiences at Einstein Brothers and what you ended up ordering. Sure, sure, sure. I also did get a blueberry muffin, and I loved it. It was delicious.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Oh, sure. I also did get a blue and I loved and I it was delicious. This is now one, two, three days old and it's still pretty fucking good. Oh, wow. I did not wait three days. I inhaled it. The first place I went to was a place on Wilshire
Starting point is 00:55:01 and inside I looked like to me I ordered ahead on the app. And inside, it looked like to me, I ordered ahead on the app. I would have recommended the app, except I was going to look up my order history as well, and it's not there. That's just a no-brainer. Why don't you want that?
Starting point is 00:55:15 Order again, especially if you're a creature habit. I don't know, guys. Points deducted. Yeah, points deducted for sure. The wall art kind of looked like it reminded me of covers of the New Yorker magazine. Oh yeah. Which I love.
Starting point is 00:55:31 It's, I, I, I took some, I took some photos of some of the wall art in my location. There are things like this. Uh, and,
Starting point is 00:55:39 and it is kind of that, yes, it is kind of the aesthetically like a New Yorker, uh, like a New Yorker cover with the art. And then it's got captions like, here's one. Elmo Einstein's Conundrum. And we've got a harried bagel employee who is dealing with a whole bunch of customers.
Starting point is 00:55:56 This kind of intricate line art. And then it says, so many schmears, so little time. That sucks. Here's another one, and it's Mervin Einstein, who I assume was one of the founders, opinion about coffee. I'm for it.
Starting point is 00:56:13 And it's got a picture of this Mervin Einstein character holding a big cup of coffee. So it's things like that. That's it? What is that? What is that one? I think the joke is that his opinion on coffee is that he likes coffee. I'm holding this up for you guys to see.
Starting point is 00:56:31 Yeah, I guess like, I like it until I read it. I'm like, Oh, I mean, that is like a New Yorker comic. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:56:41 exactly. So there you go. Well, my, I got the chorizo sunrise egg sandwich, which was delicious. But like we said earlier, the portions are sensible portions, I'm going to say. But if I had ordered this at a New York deli, it would have been maybe twice the size. Yeah, that's fair. But these are sensible portions. And I loaded up on coffees
Starting point is 00:57:09 because I'm like, a breakfast place has to have good coffee. So I tried their medium roast, their dark roast. I got their iced coffee and I got chocolate cold brew, which is just a frappuccino. And you said,
Starting point is 00:57:21 like you got their vanilla, right? You got the chocolate cold brew shake is that the which was a shake that's a it's a shake uh yeah you're gonna get a better version elsewhere yes but the coffees were good and i didn't realize until i was drinking the iced coffee for this iced coffee it doesn't matter where it's brewed it's gonna taste the same when it's iced it doesn't matter like there's no you're not gonna catch subtle notes of one nothing right um yeah i got blueberry muffin which was delicious i got there they have like a hash brown uh sort of cheddar cheddar biscuit and it reminded me of those red lobster cheese biscuits they were really good oh wow i
Starting point is 00:58:05 would have loaded up on that like just a basket of that yeah those look those looked interesting i i had the i had the hash browns on the bagel so i didn't get one of those but they looked they looked they looked interesting there i was like you were saying the bagel was like soft and like the perfect texture i would say these biscuits were perfect. From the outside, it looked like a hard lump of potato. But it was like, oh, my God, I want one right now. Actually, maybe that was my favorite thing I ate. I feel like I would describe the same way.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Outside looked like a hard lump of potato. So I just ate the rest of that blueberry muffin. And I got to say this too, for a muffin that has been sitting on my kitchen, on my dining, whatever this table is, this shit, the dough boys table, for three days, it held up pretty well and it was pretty tasty. I enjoyed it. Is that a good thing?
Starting point is 00:59:09 I mean probably there's probably a lot of preservatives in it my thought eating it I mean like a muffin should last at least a couple days my thought while eating it I was like it's that sort of thing again too with I love Dunkin Don Donuts and it's,
Starting point is 00:59:27 and it still has like some of the taste that I love in it. And so I can never really truly turn my back on it. Um, and I think they've made some terrible decisions as a company, but who knows? Maybe I've gotten snootier as the years have gone on. Why? Cause maybe,
Starting point is 00:59:42 maybe that's a part of the issue. I'm a little snooty Boston boy, but I, I used to not be, snootier as the years have gone on, Wags. Maybe that's a part of the issue. Fucking Boston! I'm a little snooty Boston boy. But I used to not be... I mean, I loved my dunks, but I'm like eating this blueberry muffin and I'm like, this probably beats a Dunkin' blueberry muffin, right?
Starting point is 01:00:00 Wow. Heresy. I mean, I'm just being honest. We gotta be real here. I want just being honest. We got to be real here. I want Dunkin' to get back to its glory, but I'll get a blueberry muffin at Dunkin' Donuts, and I'll be like, where are the blueberries? Like, where's the beef? Where are the blues, Weigs? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:16 Wow. Where are the bloobs? Yeah. They didn't skimp on the blueberries, the one I had. It was like they weren't skipping on it. There's no other way to put that. Yeah, they don't. Duncan,
Starting point is 01:00:29 if you got the bloobs, you got to show the bloobs. Show the bloobs. Show the bloobs. Feels like something someone would comment on the Doughboys Patreon. Mitch, show your bloobs. I think that the blueberries are on display.
Starting point is 01:00:51 It's a nice, soft muffin. Something that was a thing I truly didn't think would be good at all. I thought this was kind of like a side thing. And I was like, damn, this is good as hell. It was fantastic. So, wow. Step up your game, Duncan. That's kind of like a side thing. And I was like, damn, this is good as hell. It was fantastic. So. Wow.
Starting point is 01:01:09 Step up your game, Duncan. That's kind of how I feel after going to Einstein. What did you have? So I made the one trip. I did not make two trips. I made one trip. And I ended up multitasking. You made one trip, too. I made two trips.
Starting point is 01:01:25 I also had a little dissertation on the second one. The parking attendant in Pasadena, by the way, someone else didn't have their thing stamped. He's like, you're okay. He didn't care.
Starting point is 01:01:35 First in there. Future reference. Well, that's fucked up for me. Spent all day there. Good to know when you've got a chill parking attendant. I found that out at my dentist. I usually try to take that out at my dentist i
Starting point is 01:01:45 usually try to take the bus to my dentist but i one time i had to i drove because i was running late and um the parking attendant there was just like that what it was it was one of those lots where it's like it's a tiny lot and it said it was like 25 it's like jesus christ well i'm fucking late i guess i'm paid 25 to get my teeth cleaned uh and the guy was like ah fucking whatever like he just did not give a shit it's just like so it's, it's nice when you encounter someone like there, there are times when you want someone to not give a shit about their job. And it's, it, that's, it's helpful when it's a parking attendant. That's us every episode. That guy probably saw you panicking coming up to him. He's like, yeah, just for fucking forget it, buddy. I don't give a shit.
Starting point is 01:02:22 That guy probably saw you panicking coming up to him. He's like, just fucking forget it, buddy. I don't give a shit. So I ended up going to the Oceanside location. I went down to visit my parents and my brother and his family for my mom's birthday this past weekend. Of course. And there was one. What? Nick, will you come down for my birthday this weekend?
Starting point is 01:02:43 I don't think I can. Wait a minute. I could turn this into a business't think I can. Wait a minute. I could turn this into a business trip. I can multitask. Yeah, I'll come down there. Just eating fucking bagels in front of her, not paying attention to her on her birthday.
Starting point is 01:02:59 Here's the deal. We have an electric car. We have a Chevy Bolt, and it cannot quite make the entire drive to San Diego without a recharge midway. So we were able to be like, we got to go down there. We're going to charge the car anyway. Nice try, Bernie. This is the future you want? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Why does this green energy car? Why doesn't the Green New Deal want us to get anywhere else? Wait, are those conservative kids now? Okay. Things have escalated. Yeah, I will honestly say that the EV is nice for getting around town, but man, you do need a secondary car if you're going to make any lengthy trips. It's a fucking huge pain in the ass.
Starting point is 01:03:49 But anyway, we're dealing with that, so we have to charge the car anyway. So while we're charging the car at a Target parking lot. I like the idea of you in this car charging up on a fucking charger midway between LA and San Diego. You're both plugged in. One for me, please. Where do you go for that? Where do you stop to get plugged in? Usually, it's like you were talking apps earlier. There's apps for EVs. Usually, there's a charge point or an EV go, and then you can just find where they have stations. Sometimes, you can reserve them or see if they're occupied and you just find they're not as, obviously not as prevalent as gas stations,
Starting point is 01:04:30 but they do exist. They kind of dot the highways and especially in major cities, there's a bunch of them. You know, I was thinking about going electric before this conversation and now I don't think so. Yeah, no, hell no. You make some long drives. So I would consider, I think probably hybrid or like a plug-in, there's the plug-in hybrids. this conversation and now I don't think so. Yeah, no, hell no. You make some long drives. So I would consider, I think probably hybrid or like a plugin. There's the plugin hybrids. There's ones that we can use a plugin for like getting around locally and then it has a gas tank for longer, you know, just a pure electric is a little bit of a pain in the ass, but it's, it's, it's mostly been fine. Uh, so anyway, we, we, we're, we're multitasking, we're charging the car, we're going to visit my family and I'm going to the Einstein Brothers Bagels that's in Oceanside, California while the car is charging.
Starting point is 01:05:12 They were clearly overwhelmed. I felt the workers were so nice, but there was just like a ton of people there, and I could tell a lot of the inventory had been cleaned out. By the time we got there, it was like late morning. It was almost lunchtime, so some of the bagel choices were just not available. Uh, and, uh, but, uh, but everyone, but everyone was nice there. I did go up there and I asked the, the cashier about, cause there's a strawberry banana smoothie on the menu and it's the only smoothie. So I was like, I feel like that's probably a pain in the ass to make. So I just asked the guy like, as has a strawberry smoothie, is that like a pain to make? And the guy was like, I feel like that's probably a pain in the ass to make. So I just asked the guy, like, is a strawberry smoothie, is that like a pain to make?
Starting point is 01:05:48 And the guy was like, ah, it's fine. Like, clearly it was like a huge hassle. So I didn't order that. I instead got a black lemonade iced tea. Before we start, I just want to say it's my mother's birthday. I'm traveling down south to see my mother. Okay. Let me ask you again.
Starting point is 01:06:10 How's that strawberry smoothie? It's fine. I'm just weirded out by what you said before all of that. We're charging my car right now. It's an electric car. All right. So I got the blackberry lemonade iced tea, which I will say had terrific blackberry flavor. Man, I was surprised by this. You don't usually see a blackberry iced tea. Usually it's like a strawberry or I feel like I would see a blueberry more frequently than
Starting point is 01:06:36 blackberry iced tea. Blackberry is a nice combo for this. And the lemonade tasted fresh. It was a little too sweet for me, but just as a refresher and as a berry tea, I was like, this is great. This is delightful. I also got myself an almond milk latte. Now, I mentioned the workers being overwhelmed. This was part of it. This was a little bit of a debacle because there was something wrong with the espresso machine and the barista conveyed this to me then the barista made it but i i watched them accidentally pour in two percent
Starting point is 01:07:12 milk and then realized their mistake before i could say anything and then you know throw the drink in the sink uh which they ended up making it again and it was room temperature when i got it which is it's fine i mean i wasn't gonna cause a fuss over it it tasted okay but it was room temperature when I got it, which is, it's fine. I mean, I wasn't going to cause a fuss over it. It tasted okay, but it was just room temp. So that wasn't what I wanted in a hot latte. So I dumped it and ended up just getting some of their normal morning brew coffee from one of their self-serve stations.
Starting point is 01:07:37 That was a fine cup of coffee. This is a fucking debacle. It was a little bit, yeah. Did you pay for that coffee, the hot coffee? Yeah. Oh, no. No coffee? The hot coffee? Yeah. Oh, no. No, I didn't. No.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Oh, well... No, I just filled it up in the same cup. It was fine. I'm not sure how I feel about this. You want me to get back in line? And be like... I think that... And say what?
Starting point is 01:07:59 Hey, I'm the guy. It's my mom's birthday. Anyway. Oh, my God. This mom and mom latte was room temp. Can I get a hot coffee? All of this is an argument for using the app. It's true. Great point.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I use the app. I'm like, oh, I'll be there in a leisurely 30 minutes. In and out. It's right there. So that was the only real miscue, though. Yeah. I think Tony will agree with me here. Any authorities in the San Diego area listening to this.
Starting point is 01:08:31 We got, we got the cop. We got the coffee thief here on our hands. Nick Weiger. I'm going to be arrested by the maskless cop that was in there. The one guy with no mask, the police officer oh what i'm above the law yeah yeah you're right you are um so uh functionally uh anyway so i got
Starting point is 01:08:53 a i also got i got a six cheese bagel which is six cheeses it's it's mozzarella provolone cheddar asiago parmesan and romano One bite and you'll smile and say cheese. This is, as I like to say, Mitch, unga pachka. There was just too much cheese on this. And especially I got this with an onion and chives schmear, which was like spreading cream cheese on the underside of a slice of pizza. It was just way too much cheese. And I'm a dairy dude and I love cheese, but this was just, it was overwhelming. I could have a little bit of it. There's one size with a big glob of cheese on it and one size that was plain. I preferred the plain size.
Starting point is 01:09:32 That, to me, is an indictment of the bagel. That said, I got a lunch option. Why is this funny you say that? Because I thought the bottom side of the bagel was pretty, was probably the low light of, it was, interesting. Yeah, I didn't love it. But go on. I got the, also this bagel was a little under toasted. I will say that.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Not a big deal, but I'd ask it for, I'd ask for it to be double toasted if I went back to this location. I also got the avocado veg out sandwich, which was great. This was terrific. All right. This is a, this is a lunch
Starting point is 01:10:06 option. That's got, um, tomato, lettuce, cucumbers, red onions, avocado, and their garden veggie schmear. I don't normally love a veggie cream cheese, but it was perfect in this context. It was on a sesame bagel, which was great because it just gave it a little bit of texture, a little bit extra crunch. And this was, this was, I would absolutely get this again. If I was working near an, uh, near an Einstein brothers bagels and I wanted a light, sort of like healthy kind of lunch, I would 100% get this. Wow. It was filling and it was delicious. And as a veggie option, it was just like it was completely satisfying.
Starting point is 01:10:37 So that was my trip. Tony, your second trip, what else did you end up getting from Einstein Brothers, if there's anything you haven't covered yet? Oh, there is. I got the Nova Lox sandwich. Ooh, okay. I am not a—I detest cream cheese. And I didn't know what a schmear was, so I'm like, I'm going to leave it as is. You know, eat it the way.
Starting point is 01:11:03 And I took one bite, and I'm like, oh, I had to schme you know eat it the way and i took one bite and like oh i had to i had to smear the smear off it's not my bag and then i just like but i'd gotten bagels individual bagels so i kind of made my own sandwich with the nova uh locks i got pumpernickel ancient grain and cinnamon raisin you know just classics yeah and they were all delicious as hell wow just starved for good dough i guess i there there are some good independent bagel shops out here but i would say as chains go i feel like einstein brothers is pretty decent yeah i agree with uh what you said about the underside of the bagel being under par. It is almost like made for show, like when you look at it through the window.
Starting point is 01:11:51 The underside is just plain, and the top of it is sort of... Same thing with the muffin, I guess. It's like the... I don't want one right now. I don't want one right now. It's good here's my well should we get into our final thoughts
Starting point is 01:12:10 Wags yeah I think it's probably about that time where we should each summarize what we feel about this week's chain Einstein Brothers Bagels so Tony here's how this will work we'll each go around we'll give our closing argument if you will summarize our thoughts mention anything we haven't mentioned, and end that by giving this chain a score from 0 to 5 forks.
Starting point is 01:12:32 You are our guest. We'll begin with you. Your thoughts and your fork score from 0 to 5 on Einstein Brothers Bagels. Okay, my closing at 2 arguments because I closed at two. I loved it. Solid breakfast place. It knows what it is. It knows, and it does it well.
Starting point is 01:12:54 The coffee's pretty good. The bagels, their namesake, are fantastic. Their sandwiches, I would eat them again. I'm going to give them four forks. Four forks?
Starting point is 01:13:11 Wow. Great score. I would love them to be open all day. There's a market for people who eat breakfast all day, like Denny's. You can eat nine breakfasts. At least a little later than two. Two is such an early cutoff.
Starting point is 01:13:27 It's pretty early. It feels like. Very early. Like 5 or even 6 p.m. or something. 6 seems like a good cutoff. But Tony. Wow. 4 forks.
Starting point is 01:13:35 You touch on something here that I was going to say in my final review. A good score. A great score. Oh, thank you. Look, it's, they're very, I feel like they're very randomly located that you they're not i think it is a thing that kind of hurts the brand a little bit where i'm like they did exist in quincy that or in milton rather and that one in milton is now gone i think and i'm like i don't even know where i would get einstein brothers bagels it feels like they're the opposite of
Starting point is 01:14:01 subways where subways were on every corner at one point and you could see a sub or a mcdonald's you can see like sometimes you can see a mcdonald's from another mcdonald's and that's okay you know that that's that's fine but it's just i'm like oh it's a place that i i wish i could have a better grasp on because i don't know it as well and i know i know it from when i was a kid and it felt like kind of the snootier place and now as as time has gone on, I'm like, well, maybe you need those snootier places because some of these other places have just been kind of like they're sending out junk now. You know, Duncan needs to step up their game. You got to care about the quality of food. And it seems like they do care about the quality of food.
Starting point is 01:14:40 Of course, there's still like some artificial stuff going on there. But for the most part part I was pretty pleased with what I had and if I got that breakfast sandwich in an orange in a cup of orange juice or if I got that coffee and the blueberry muffin I'd be happy with with kind of any combination I got there and and so
Starting point is 01:14:57 yeah I wish they were open a little later but I'm gonna you know what I'm gonna do a classic I'm gonna I'm gonna speak like the man himself here, Weig's. Einstein's equals two forks squared. Oh, all right. That's your Einstein impression? He says his equation out loud?
Starting point is 01:15:24 And he says his name when he says the equation? Einstein's. He says his equation out loud. And he says his name when he says the equation. Einstein's, he's doing the equation. Einstein's equals two forks squared. My niece is Meg Ryan. Wow, so also four forks if I'm doing the math. That's right.
Starting point is 01:15:44 Wow, four forks. It falls to me whether or not this chain Einstein Brothers Bagels is going to enter the hallowed halls of the Golden Plate Club. Have you ever seen when Harry met Sally? Uh, yeah. She moans in it like she's having an orgasm. moans in it like she's having an orgasm okay so wait so you're so now you're you're canonically you're aware that your niece is also an actor who's in other movies yeah okay your reality is very strange mr einstein but you are a genius uh i had a very good experience at the meinstein brothers bagels despite the almond milk latte miscue, which I attribute to just this place was understaffed and overwhelmed, and I can't blame the workers for that. And it's – and also the espresso machine legitimately seemed like it wasn't working right.
Starting point is 01:16:36 So maybe that's why it was room temp. Maybe it didn't come out hot. I have – I used to work by a place that had an Einstein Brothers Bagels like in the – I think it was actually the Wilshire location you hit up, Tony. I used to work in a place that had an Einstein Brothers bagels, like in the, I think it was actually the Wilshire location you hit up, Tony. I used to work in a building by there. And so I've been to Einstein Brothers a number of times just as like a quick breakfast option in the morning. And yeah, they have solid coffee, solid bagels. I was surprised, you know, I wouldn't get the six cheese bagel again, but I get some
Starting point is 01:17:02 of their other offerings. I was shocked by how good the avocado veg out sandwich was, and I would never think of this place for lunch before then, before this experience, but now I will think of it for lunch. I guess this goes back to the thesis of the podcast, which is we're exploring whether or not these places accomplish what they are trying to do. Einstein Brothers Bagels is trying to be a bagel place. I think it does. I think it does a good job. And so, who am I to deny its entrance into the Golden
Starting point is 01:17:31 Plate Club? I'm nobody. I'm the burger boy. I'm giving this four forks. Welcome to the Golden Plate Club, Einstein Brothers Bagels. What a surprise. I'm surprised by this outcome. You know what? We'll put a stamp on it, Mr. Hole approved. We'll be back with more Doughboys.
Starting point is 01:17:55 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Mitch, one of the relationships I'm proudest of in my life is with my buddy, the Spoon Man. Wow. And you know what? A common misconception about relationships is they have to be easy to be right.
Starting point is 01:18:09 Between you and I? I don't think so. Yeah. But sometimes the best ones happen with both people put in the work to make them great. Therapy can be a place
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Starting point is 01:18:27 I always feel like a better person when I'm in therapy. I get the gunk out of my head. My anxieties go down. I'm feeling good. And you know what? I'm doing good. You sure are, buddy. I feel good.
Starting point is 01:18:35 I do good. It's great. Therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself, and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. So if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Become your own soulmate, whether you're looking for one or not. Visit betterhelp.com slash doughboys today to get
Starting point is 01:19:05 10 off your first month that's betterhelp h-e-l-p.com slash doughboys welcome back to doughboys we are here with tony rodriguez our guest and hey it's time for a segment hey wags yes have you ever been to cat's delicatessen um yeah i went there when i visited new york a couple times good that's where meg ryan had her famous orgasm scene right and this is your niece again in the movie iq which you know is a movie and you know she's an actor in other movies. I sat in the chair once where she orgasmed. That's weird. Your niece? I ate a sandwich.
Starting point is 01:19:55 Okay. I mean, just to make a point of choosing that chair feels odd. Yeah. But you know. I think there's like a plaque. There's like a plaque coming out. So you know exactly where you're sitting. It wasn't a coincidence. This was a choice.
Starting point is 01:20:09 Have you seen IQ? Yeah, I actually did see IQ years ago. I didn't get an orgasm scene in that movie. Yeah. I heard that was cut. That was they got an NC- 17 rating that was originally included. Yeah. And then they had to cut it.
Starting point is 01:20:28 I was very upset. Well, Mr. Einstein, I hope that you can still be satisfied with your immense contributions to the field of science. Would you like to hear it? I will.
Starting point is 01:20:40 I would. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, sure. Okay. Here it is. Oh, I guess so. Yeah, sure. Okay, here it is. Oh, yahoo!
Starting point is 01:20:50 I think I see the problem. That kind of sounded like Mario doing a triple jump. So I think it probably didn't. Wah! Yahoo! I'm tired. Yeah, I think I see why this was left on the cutting room floor. But you are a great performer.
Starting point is 01:21:16 Thank you. Goodbye. All right. Bye, Einstein. Wow! Wow, he fell. Jesus Christ. I'm glad nobody brought
Starting point is 01:21:27 inner space up. He fell off the cliff. Landed in the dry, dry desert. Dry, dry desert. Never mind. Hey, I've got a food-related survey and Mitch and Tony will compete to guess the results.
Starting point is 01:21:42 It's time to play The Family Food. The theme song for The Family Food, the Richard Karn era Family Feud theme. Here's how this works. Whoever gets the most correct without collecting three strikes will win. It's very funny that this is not very loud either.
Starting point is 01:22:04 It's just kind of soft. Yeah. Yeah. Softly playing. Got to be conscious of the mix. So this is from a Huffington Post article and based on Grubhub's 2019 order data. This is compiled by our associate producer, the Drop King, Robert Persinger. For today's topic, America's favorite bagel flavors.
Starting point is 01:22:21 Really? Wow. America's favorite bagel flavors according to Grubhub order data compiled in 2019. So the top five answers are on the board. And you'll each take turns.
Starting point is 01:22:36 Okay. So, Tony, you're our guest. Would you like to go first or second? I'll go first. Okay, you'll go first. Five answers are on the board. What is your first guess? Sesame.
Starting point is 01:22:49 It's on the board. Good answer. I'm sure of it. Show me sesame. Good answer. Alright, yeah, baby. Number two answer, sesame. Tony, you are correct you have one point all right Mitch for our left of
Starting point is 01:23:08 the top five America's favorite bagel flavors what say you spoon man why because I'm gonna go with one that I'm pretty sure is up there I got I got quite a few but but uh but we'll see uh I hope it's up there I'm going everything everything's gotta's up there. I'm going everything. Everything's got to be up there. Everything.
Starting point is 01:23:28 Show me everything. Yep. Yeah. Yes. As the SNES adaptation of Family Feud, the video game, tells us, that is a good answer. Number one answer on the board, everything bagel, Mitch. So you both have collectively sniped the top two. Three remaining of the five.
Starting point is 01:23:50 Let's see if we can clean it up. All right, Tony, back to you. America's favorite bagel flavors. What's your next guess? I'm going to go cinnamon raisin. Great, great answer. Cinnamon raisin. I disagree.
Starting point is 01:24:03 Cinnamon raisin. I disagree. I don't think it should be in the top five, but I think it is top five. This is America's favorite, most popular. I feel the same about everything. Wow. Shots fired from both of you.
Starting point is 01:24:18 Here we go. Show me Cinnamon Raisin. Yeah, nigga. Number three. All right. This collective effort is really something. I just don't know how I feel about cinnamon.
Starting point is 01:24:35 It's just that sort of thing of like, it just makes it a little too sweet. I want the savory bagel. Give me the everything. Give me the everything. Give me the sesame. Cinnamon raisin, just no. No, thank you. Depends on my mood, because I used to love them as a kid, and now I infrequently get them these days. I like them as a kid, too, but I grew up.
Starting point is 01:24:58 I grew up. I grew the fuck up, Wags. Wow. It's kind of like between a donut and a bagel. Yeah. Right? Like a little, yeah. That's the thing.
Starting point is 01:25:09 It's like sweet, but it's not too sweet. That's what I like about it sometimes. It's not my everyday bagel order, but on an occasional, I'll get something like that. And I think, you know, Tony, you talked about being cream cheese-averse as a kid. I used to like it with cream cheese, but I think these days I just get it with butter. Yeah, it's kind of, I mean, I ate a lot of gross shit as a kid. But I think that's a better buttered bagel. For sure. You're fucking nasty.
Starting point is 01:25:34 Alright, two answers left on the board of America's favorite bagel flavors. Tony, you have two points. Mitch, you have one point. And maybe you can match him with your next answer what say you all right my next answer is plain bagel just a plain old plain bagel good answer plain bagel plain bagel if it's not on
Starting point is 01:25:58 here it's fucked up is it in fact a plain bagel is Is that in the top five? Show me plain. This is bullshit. No. This whole thing is bullshit. There's no way that plain isn't the most popular. It has to be. It's just included with stuff as a plain bagel. That's bullshit, and you know it.
Starting point is 01:26:21 You know it, Wags. You know it. Take it up with the Huffington Post article compiled based off of Grubhub's 2019 order data. Because bullshit. True bullshit. Because plane is not in the top five. I did thorough research for this poll about Legos. This is my Ari and Huffington impression. That's good.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Thank you. I haven't heard her voice in a while, but I think that's the end. It's that. Actually, I didn't do. I don't read anything on my website. It's just... Sounds like the internet economy. It sounds like we could be related.
Starting point is 01:26:55 God, I've changed the accent already. I'm a big fan of your niece's work. Are you related to Meg Ryan as well? Is she related to you in any... Do you know what? Do you know how I figured out Einstein equals two forks squared? No, how did you find that out?
Starting point is 01:27:14 I saw a bagel fall out of a tree. Oh. I saw a bagel fall out of a tree during the Bush administration. I was going to say, this is an administration that had the bagels falling out of a tree during the Bush administration. I'm able to say, this is an administration that have the bagels falling out of trees. This is irresponsible.
Starting point is 01:27:30 It is not... I can't keep this up. I can't pull enough political specifics from 10 years ago. Yes. Wow. Back when we were like, this is as bad as it's going to get. This is the worst president that's ever happened in the history of America. Nothing will ever be we were like, this is as bad as it's going to get. There's a large president
Starting point is 01:27:45 that's ever happened in the history of America. Nothing will ever be worse. Like, whoo. You fucked up. You fucked up, Ariana. All right. We've got three answers
Starting point is 01:28:00 that have been taken. Everything, sesame, and cinnamon raisin, the top three. Number four and number five remain for America's favorite bagel flavors. Tony, it is your turn. You have two points, which has one point and one strike. What is your next guess
Starting point is 01:28:12 for America's favorite bagel flavor? I almost said plain my last round, but I'm going to say another P word, pumpernickel. Wow. If plain isn't on there, I'm going to go with pumpernickel. Sticking with the Ps, will it pay off?
Starting point is 01:28:30 Show me pumpernickel. Wow. Yeah, baby. Wow. I'm shocked that pumpernickel is on there. I honestly was surprised to see it too, but pumpernickel is number five. Pumpernickel is more, that's insane. Here's my guess, Mitch. Pumpernickel over plane? Consider the source. So this is coming from Grubhub. So this is people
Starting point is 01:28:54 who are like using apps who are oftentimes getting, maybe getting this delivered or putting in a work order. So like, you know, I feel like the plane might be like the grab and go sort of, or you're not really thinking about it. But if it's like, I want to I feel like the plane might be like the grab and go sort of, or you're not really thinking about it. But if it's like, I want to go to the trouble to get myself a bagel, I might want something that's a little bit more, you know, specific. That's my guess. Insane.
Starting point is 01:29:13 Yeah. Also, it's fun. It's a fun word. It's a fun word. Yeah, it's fun to say. Pumpernickel. All fun words so far. I want to go onion for my, for, cause look,
Starting point is 01:29:25 it's, yeah, I mean, it's back to you. You have, you have one, you have one point, one strike.
Starting point is 01:29:32 Yes. So I'm going to say, Hmm. My next guess is I want to say onion. I'm going to say a good, good, good, good,
Starting point is 01:29:43 good, good, good poppy seed. Oh, good one. That's a good one. Sticking with the peas. Plain got a strike. Pumpernickel was on the board.
Starting point is 01:29:54 Where does poppy seed fall? We're going to find out. Show me poppy seed. Wow. Yeah. Wow. You got it. We cleared the board, man. Wow. You got it.
Starting point is 01:30:08 We cleared the board, baby. All right. I'm going to say everyone wins here. The top five in order, everything, sesame, cinnamon raisin, poppy seed, and pumpernickel. You got them all in six attempts. A virtuosic display from the both of you. Well done. That must have not included plain because that's wild to me.
Starting point is 01:30:20 from the both of you. Well done. That must have not included plain because that's wild to me. Egg and onion are the only two after that. Like, egg and onion are the only two I would guess. Ooh, I love an egg bagel. Egg bagel, yeah. Or salt.
Starting point is 01:30:37 I guess salt is also like the last final bagel, a salted bagel, but those aren't as popular anymore. I love a salt bagel. I do feel like a salt bagel is a little bit more of an offbeat choice just because it is so punishingly salty for some people. But I do love it because I love salt. Let me just say, I'd drink ocean water if I could.
Starting point is 01:30:56 I love it. Wow. Love this stuff. Don't do that. That's going to make you hallucinate. That's during when you're stranded at sea. Okay, I'll keep that in mind. You are a little bit like Saltmember, though.
Starting point is 01:31:08 Saltmember? I love Salt. Yeah, another. From Austin Powers and Goldmember. Are you related to Meg Ryan, Saltmember? I love Salt and my niece, Meg Ryan. Is Einstein Goldmember? Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:31:25 What a reveal that would be. Maybe we'll find out in Austin Powers 4. Wow. Hopefully someday. All the Huffington Post. Where we reveal that Einstein is gold member. Huffington Post will have the trailer premiere for Austin Powers 4. Huffington Post will have the trailer premiere for Austin Powers.
Starting point is 01:31:44 Yes. Hey, that was the family food, just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email is from Chirunton. Chirunton writes, On my last night in New York, my friend of 30 years took me out for a final night of eating and drinking. He also brought
Starting point is 01:32:02 one of his insufferable friends, a guy I didn't even know. I was having a bad night. Then, when I think things can't get any worse, he asks to take a bite of my hot dog and eats the whole thing. Emotions were already high and he became so enraged I just left.
Starting point is 01:32:17 It was a really good hot dog. We later got into an email spat about this incident that almost ended our friendship. Have you guys experienced any food-related transgressions that created such an extreme reaction that's bananas that's bananas what is happening i cannot uh cheer on tuna first off i hope i didn't butcher your name too badly uh thank you for writing in i i that is that is why i cannot imagine maintaining a friendship with this person because that's just such a weird thing to do. How do you not how do you explain yourself? What a
Starting point is 01:32:47 what a bizarre act. Yeah this this to me is this is very interesting I because so often it would be like when you were younger and you got something and then like your friends would take bites of like can I get a fry? That was always the thing in high school. Can I get you can I get
Starting point is 01:33:03 some fries or can I get a bite of that and then someone like an asshole would take like a huge bite and you're like okay now my meals are ruined funny um but as an adult that doesn't happen too too often i think that like there's been a couple times where i've been like hey look i think that i am i think i'm a person I like, I would gladly like to buy someone a meal and buy something for someone and have them be happy. But when I'm focused on what I want, I am very upset when someone changes that because I'm very specific about what I want to eat. And so then like with my sister or whatever, too, I'm like, do you want one of these things too? I'm going to order it. With my sister or whatever, too, I'm like, do you want one of these things, too?
Starting point is 01:33:43 I'm going to order it. You know, like, well, like the pizza slices to this day, she'll make fun of me for eyeing pizza slices or wanting to take a giant slice of pizza. I get it. My thing is, is that I'm always down to pay for more or get more. And on me, if it's a thing where, like, you never should, you should never, like, first of all, sharing a hot dog. If someone's letting you do that, they're a good person. They're letting you have a bite of their dog, which is, you know, that's a little outside of the comfort zone for some people. Like, it's like sharing super chili or stew or something like that's intimate sharing. Someone is giving you an intimate share.
Starting point is 01:34:24 And so for you to take advantage of that and eat the whole dog what the hell do you think you are so strange how did this take place because like hey can i have a bite of your hot dog already i'm like uh yeah i mean i guess if we mitch if you and i were hanging out and you asked for a bite i had a hot dog this wasn This wasn't for the podcast, but I just had like I was just eating a hot dog. And you said, hey, can I try your hot dog? I would let you take a bite. Like I guess. So I guess I understand the reaction up to that point.
Starting point is 01:34:55 But when it becomes. I double check, triple check, make sure it's really a hot dog. I would take a bite. All right. And I'm like, I would think that once that happens, once that bite transpires, what's happening next? Do they just keep eating it and you're not even noticing? Do they just steal it from you entirely? Like, how does this transpire?
Starting point is 01:35:18 When I went to New York and I did that pizza tour with Micus and a few other a few other quincy folks um ramondi scoop no frail bot was there steve shields was there uh-huh dano uh not that's not shieldsy that's well it's a different shieldsy and okay shieldsy too it's like rat catcher 2 and and suicide squad joey oh joey oh with me. I drove down with Joey O. And so we got a Euro. We got like a Euro and then we were like sharing. We were passing around a Euro and sharing the Euro.
Starting point is 01:35:53 We were all, I think we were going to be all vaxxed at this point. We were. Yeah. Which is, you know, also at this time, day and age to share something like that is, you know, whatever. Look, don't be mad at me. I haven't gotten COVID yet yet so yet um so we were i'll go back my rage but we were we were passing around the euro and it was a very delicate process of hey we're all sharing this thing here it's beautiful we're all taking bites of this hero we're all enjoying it we're having a good time with it if someone just
Starting point is 01:36:25 grabbed the hero and decided they were going to take it down on themselves that's fucked up that's not right no who does that you don't do that do you remember when people used to say when you used to say bogarting i never understood the etymology of that but like if you'd stay if you take a whole thing for yourself like dude don't bogart don't bogart that joint my friend that used to be the day like hey what do you don't bogart that i, my friend. That used to be the thing. Like, hey, what do you, don't Bogart that. I like that you have like early 1960s terminology for smoking weed. Don't Bogart that jazz cigarette.
Starting point is 01:36:56 It's a, it's, it's like, like that, that is just shitty behavior. Like, like even especially towards your friend, especially in this context. I don't know it. This, this whole interaction is weird. I can't think of anything that directly parallels it.
Starting point is 01:37:12 Tony, have you ever had a moment where you were, you were like at something food related with a friend that affected a friendship? Not with a friend. This stuff would happen with family members. Like, or like uncles,
Starting point is 01:37:24 but I'm not friends with people that are like my family yeah that's what i guess i realize i'm realizing uh yeah no i that's very weird what very strange lover i think that's weird even romantic involved it's like it's weird it's weird all around that is like you were saying just as like as this is happening to just be like hey my hot dog what the fuck like there's so much going on here that it yeah and why so you and I would
Starting point is 01:37:54 share a hot dog if you got a hot dog and it looked good or I did and we were eating out together for this fucking podcast yeah that's not a that's not rare for you to say can I get a bite of that I'd say sure I give you a bite of it. Let's lady in the trap this sumbitch. We'd do it.
Starting point is 01:38:09 We'd fucking do it. But I would not, but you don't take all of someone's thing unless that is offered to you. Even asking for it is rude, and then just to do it without asking. It would end with me biting your tongue off. Sorry, Wags.
Starting point is 01:38:28 Yeah, that's... Boy, I don't have anything on that scale. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. And I understand the spat that followed. God. Weird. People are weird. Some weirdos out there.
Starting point is 01:38:42 Very. I mean, food means more to me than anything else, so just don't fuck with it. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants or a story about a friend being a psycho, you can email us at doughboyspodcasts at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOUGH.
Starting point is 01:38:57 That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys Double, our weekly bonus episode, you can join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash doughboys. Our guest this week, Tony Rodriguez. Tony, a delight to have you here. Please come back.
Starting point is 01:39:11 Thank you for talking with us. And is there anything you would like to plug at this time? I'm on The Simpsons. Wow. Amazing. Oh, thanks for having me. And thanks for talking to us on our podcast. I think your episode comes out in a couple weeks of Spanish. Oh, Oh, uh, thanks for having me. And thanks for talking to us on our podcast. I think your episode comes out in a couple of weeks of Spanish.
Starting point is 01:39:28 I keep. Oh, rad. Um, yeah, we had a blast. I'd love to come back and do, uh,
Starting point is 01:39:36 another restaurant where I go. I do too much work for it. And I go to too many. I go to all the locations and my 30 mile radius. You went to eight Morton's steakhouses. We got to reimburse you for $2,500. Why? Cause I got something to plug.
Starting point is 01:39:53 Yeah. You're fucking whack ass car. Oh yeah. I forgot that whole argument about your car. Like I'm voting Republican after this. Then we've done our job here at the dough boys. That's what this is about. No wonder they wanted to be taught to be.
Starting point is 01:40:18 My powerful California vote. Thank you so much, Tony. And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Toe Boys. Until next time, for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. Waffle!
Starting point is 01:40:39 On the next Doughboys Double, we're reopening up the feed bag. Yu Song Liu returns as we field your feedback. Will your Q be aid? Find out. Get the Doughboys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash doughboys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.
Starting point is 01:40:56 That was a hate gum podcast.

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