Doughboys - El Farolito with Mookie Blaiklock (LIVE)

Episode Date: June 16, 2022

Mookie Blaiklock (YOU ARE WORTHY with LilMookieB) joins to 'boys to rap about their preferred burritos before a review of El Farolito. Plus, Snack or Wack with cookies from Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory. Recorded live at The Palace of Fine Arts Theatre in San Francisco 6/10/22.  Sources for this week's intro: https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a2607/esq1003-oct-timeline/ https://dkcnews.com/esquire-blog-draft/ https://www.britannica.com/topic/Esquire-American-magazine https://www.esquire.com/food-drink/food/a19748/el-farolito-best-burrito-winner-15120286/#:~:text=The%20original%20El%20Farolito%20opened,spot%20for%20great%20Mexican%20food. https://sf.eater.com/2021/1/14/22231316/don-chava-el-farolito-obituary http://elfarolitomex.com/about_us_2.htmlWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Wilds, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on

all orders. Offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow. 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. That was the tagline for Esquire, a literary gentleman's periodical founded in 1933. Esquire was among the most influential magazines of the mid-20th century, winning a landmark free speech victory at the Supreme Court over its publication of Rybald drawings and elevating

a who's who of American authors, including F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and Truman Capote. But despite its gold standard in the industry, audiences moved on from literary magazines with the rise of television and from print altogether with the rise of the internet. And so in 2013, with print journalism dead and buried, and the audiences more prone to take a quiz about which door of the Explorer character they are than to read a short story by J.D. Salinger, Esquire's content had pivoted to web-friendly clickbait titles such as, The Most Life-Changing Burrito in America Is. And if you did click through, you'd find the answer to that headline proved to be a San

Francisco, Takaria, more known for the taco's flour tortilla-blanketed big brother, the burrito. Founded in 1982 in SF's Mission District by Don Chava, the restaurant perhaps deserves the most credit of anyone for popularizing the mission-style burrito, much copied in some would say bastardized by national concepts like Chipotle, Cudoba, and Moe's. Today, with a dozen local locations, this restaurant whose name loosely translates as Little Lighthouse certainly shines as a beacon for Carnet and Carbone degree San Franciscans. And while the Esquire of Old may have reported on the out-of-state right-wing money funding the recent recall of San Francisco's progressive district attorney,

or published an allegory about the city's housing shortage being exacerbated by the tech industry, the Esquire of today at least nudges tourists toward an authentic version of the Mission Burrito. This week on Doe Boys, El Farolito. Oh, God bless you. Thank you for yelling out, you look great, Nick. Anyone who wants to yell a compliment at any point during the show, you have carte blanche to do that. Okay, I didn't get that one entirely, but it sounded positive, so thank you. Something was described as silky. I'm going to interpret that as something nice you said about me. Folks, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. How you doing San Francisco? And before we go any further, this week's roast is

courtesy of Tim Sleary. Let me introduce my co-host, Draymond Never Eats Greens, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. For those of you listening to the podcast later, you're getting some spoons. No, there's also some booze, baby. Yes, yes, that's what I wanted to clarify. Oh, a lot of booze. Fuck all. You guess what, Clay Thompson's not here to get upset wags, so fuck you guys. Wow. What's up San Francisco? Oh, shut up. This, again, for people listening to this, and maybe for some of you here who are just dorks, right now there is a basketball game going on of immense consequences. This is Game 4 of the NBA finals, Mitch. We're going to the fourth quarter, your Boston Celtics. You're wearing a Boston Celtics

jacket, a Boston Celtics hat in front of this Golden State Warriors-aligned crowd here in San Francisco. It's an away game for the dough boys today. Look, the dough boys, we really nail it with scheduling. Yes. Another sold-out crowd. Move forward if you want to. I mean, if you're really far away. This is what's known in the industry as counter-programming. Who's going to not want to see an NBA finals game? I don't know. The kind of people who would watch two fat guys talk about burritos. Take it easy. And yeah, also, it's hot. I had to take that jacket off immediately. The jacket was way too hot. And then we ate a fucking huge burrito to start the day off. More like I left my hot in San Francisco. Wags, I agree with you. You're right. I'm right. You

can't argue. It's very, very toasty today. I had a lovely walk over here. I went around the, I went down the Bay hiking trail. They still walked by the coast, walked by the wharf, saw the ocean, everything. And while I was doing so, we got any slate political gab fest listeners here? A few of you, a few of you. Okay. All right, all right. One of my favorite podcasts in my regular rotation. That was a bad outing, man. I need to turn off the game. I do, I shouldn't be watching the game. You're watching the game on your phone. I am watching the game on my phone. Yeah. That's not a lie. It's the cell here. Here's the game. The cell people reward you for half assing it. That's just your life.

He's not fully engaged. We love it. 75 73 cell text right now. It's tight. It is tight. So no, are you missing a game? You're missing a good game. Yeah. I'm right there. Are there any, are there any, I just asked how I'll finish my gab fest at at anecdote because I can tell you're riveted. But as, are there any, like, like, would you describe yourself as a hardcore Warriors fan? You're here. Applaud. Wow. You chose this over your team competing for a championship, the entire point of the whole thing. I don't think you applauded for hardcore warrior fan. It's not true. It's not true. You shouldn't be here. Oh, yeah, that's an issue.

What was he saying? When he, when he bought the ticket, the event was in January. We got rescheduled yet. Oh, some cost fell. Sounds like he was at January six the fucking I couldn't make it. January six. That's something else going on. So you've been watching it. The heavy been watching the January six hearings. Yeah, it's good. You're watching that on your phone backstage, getting pissed off. The protest. So, so as I was walking through this, this lovely bay view and these, these, these beautiful houses, this aesthetically gorgeous cities, walking through it, the Slate political gab fest episode I was listening to was entitled. Oh, wait, oh, fuck, I had the title here and I forgot what Jesus Christ because it was good. There was no response to political gab

fest. I think it was, I think it was entitled is SF turning into a hellhole. It was either a hellhole or cesspool, but it was a hellhole. You might have been hellhole. Yeah, you sent it to us. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's you know what? I think it's a great city. It's lovely. It's beautiful. I'll still pander even when I came out and flipped everyone off. No place is perfect, but it's very beautiful up here. There was a way for for oh shit, a drop. I got to do a damn drop before you do that. I do want to say something real quick. This is this Tim Slere who sent in the roses. Tim here. You hear Tim? Hi, Tim. Tim, Tim wrote this. I know it's whole it's low hanging fruit, but in honor of Game 4, the NBA finals, which is happening

right now. Here's something cool. I host a weekly Smash Brothers tournament in downtown San Francisco. How about that? Very cool. Who's your main, Tim? Who do you like to, who do you like to play in Smash? Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong. Very cool. I think he might just be cheering for me. Donkey Kong. No, it's Mitch. That's who he thinks he's seeing. He's disappointed. Also, Tim is in the discord, a Long Beach native, graduated from Lakewood High. How about that? There you go. The next Smash Brothers tournament, Game 5, if you want to check it out. Why? I think it's time for a little drop. Why? Why don't you hit him with it? Was Nick going to become a successful pop singer? Sure. I'll try it. Why not?

What? Nana. Hey. Nana. Hey. Hey. He took me back to East Atlanta. Nana. I call it hot land. I because it's hot. My heart is in Havana.

Hey. There's something about his man. Nana. Jesus. Could be watching the most physically gifted athletes in the world. Instead, you hear a song with Nana. It was pretty good. I don't remember saying that. I'm sure I did. Nana. Well, don't do it more of it, please.

The context must have been minions related. I was probably talking about it. Oh, you think so? Yeah, I think that's probably it. I don't know. Well, Wags, hi, Nick and Mitch. If you ever have a chance, you should review Casey's, a Midwest gas station chain that also makes great pizza. All right, some fans here. It's one of the top foods I miss after moving to the West Coast. Chris Finke. Wow, Finke. Finke again. Thanks, Finke.

Great drop. Not here, but whatever. Sorry. Should have fucking submitted a drop. It's a good drop. Wags, I think we should introduce our guests because I went, I ventured out to a bar. I had my coat in my backpack like a coward. Our guests and I were watching the game together and we overheard some funny stuff. I think we should get them out here anyways. We could use some funny stuff.

It's gonna be fine. Okay, great. Yeah, it'll be fine. It's gonna be great. Look, that's what you want to hear when you paid for a show. It's gonna be fine. It will be Tatum Esk if I don't have to run to the bathroom during the show. Wow. Oh my, I was gonna be Curry Esk. Oh, you like that instead?

Could have referenced Paul Pierce. He did like shit himself during a finals game. You hate Pierce too much. I like Pierce. I stepped out of bounds. Okay, here we go. Oh, Jesus Christ. Nick, introduce our guests. I'm not gonna do it. Uh, yeah, I know. I know this works.

It would be defiant. Our guests are very, very excited to have them here. An actor and comedian from the podcast, you are worthy with a little Mookie Bee. Please welcome the stage, Mookie Blake Locke. What an entrance. I described it as dainty, a very dainty entrance. It's Steely Dan. More like I left my hat in San Francisco.

Yeah, we like that. They may say that. So as I was walking, and Mitch, I do want to hear what you overheard in this tavern, this house of ill repute where you're watching the game. I was walking over. This house of sin. I was, I was walking over and I, like, there was a couple and there was a guy, they were on a bench and they had a corgi.

Like, I got down on one knee and proposed. I witnessed a proposal. To the corgi? Oh my God. What the fuck's going on in this city? They allow it here. That's the slippery slope we were talking about. Oh, some people agree with us. I, what is the proposal?

It was a beautiful moment that I was, I witnessed it. I was probably the closest individual to these two people as this moment was happening. I was talking too. I feel bad for them. I know. This beautiful moment and then the energy of Samara from the ring is behind you. Yeah. I saw the corgi. That marriage is doomed.

I saw the corgi. It was fucking hot. Fucking hot ass. Big round fucking ass. Fucking nice titties. Whole fuck, two whole rows of them. San Francisco teets. Want to suck on those little dog titties. Christ.

Put the game back on. Celtics are down one point. Wow. I didn't do that for applause, but you know, I'll take it anyway. I can get it. The Warriors win. What? I appreciate her.

I appreciate all of you nerds pretending to care. Well, we weren't. We weren't to. What did you call a place of ill? Respute. Jesus. My brain ain't working today. You're doing fine.

I was trying to figure out, I was saying this word. What was the word I was looking for? Oh, graze. You were like, there were snacks backstage and you were like, I'm just going to like pick up some stuff. I'm going to Grange. What is it called? Grange? And you said Grange 15 times.

I was like, Grange? Grange? My brain hasn't been right since COVID. You had another one, which was you were like, is the word purposefully? Is the word politely? Or politely? And it sounded and we were like, is it politely?

It was like, no, politely. Of course it's politely. Three dipshits and it's politely. Three, I didn't say anything. Sorry, dude. So we were in a... Oh, fuck. Just say bar.

Bar. A place of ill-respute. Barf without the F. Barf without the F. We were in a bar and Mookie and I were watching. We got a beer and a shot of whiskey. Well, Mookie got a shot of whiskey.

I got an anchor. Respectfully. We like anchor. All right, I'll make sure to bring that up again and again. And people were watching the... There were Warriors fans in the bar. Of course, naturally, yeah. It was like a weirdo bar.

Like everybody in that bar was gross. Yes. It was a very odd spot. And then... And then, well, like Star... Star Wars commercial came on and this guy

who was watching the game, we overheard him be like, dude, I mean, you should say. He was like, episode four, a new hope. That's fire. It's fire. Four, five and six. Those are the good ones. And the lady he was talking to was like,

I saw one, two and three. And he was like, you got to see four, five and six. And she was like, I don't want to see that. It's fire. I think he thought that she thought that one, two and... She thought the original Star Wars trilogy was one, two and three. So he was like, no, no, no.

It's four of a new... To a lady who like also had her own cup in the bar and came up to us and was like, it's tea. Yeah. She cheered us. And she was like, it's tea. It's a drink. She was like, it's tea, but it's not a drink or something.

Yeah. And we were like, we don't care what it is. We were like, get away from us, lady. Yeah, it's a boys' time. It's time for the boys to hang. But it was like five minutes of the guy being like, no, no, no, four, five and six. A new hope. Empire strikes back to a lady who was like

out of her mind drunk on her own booze from outside of the bar. I was like, I don't want to see those. I saw one, two and three and he's like, no. You saw four, five and six. So fucked up on what she claimed was tea. Anyways, it was a good time. And that's pretty much all we'll see

of the city was this weird bar. There was also those people that came in. They were like... Oh, this is... Yeah, that was great. There were like a couple of... There were like three friends that came in and they were like kind of like nervously standing in the back of the bar and behind us and we had an extra chair

and they were like, no, it's okay. And then a guy came up to the girl and went, they won't give us waters unless we show them our IDs. And then she went, let's get out of here. They left. Which was weird for me because I was like, what's up, baby? How you guys doing tonight? We'll get you a water.

We're 21. You guys want waters? We can get them for you. Wise, what did you do? So look, there's the part here. You know, I love to ride the choo-choo. So from the restaurant, I went and I hopped on. There was a Bart station just right below us,

right below the location of the restaurant that we were in this week. Bart Homer was upset. Yeah. The Bart's like, are you little? Yeah. This is pretty good. This is great. I heard the Bart train is a big skateboard. I'm not watching the game.

I've turned the phone a little bit. I felt bad watching the game. It's still on. It's still on and I am still kind of watching it. This is like worst of both worlds. Just go all in or go all out. I'm here for the people. I'm doing the show tonight. I'm not watching the game.

Okay, it's tied up 86-86. I'm not watching the game. I rode the Bart station. I took the Bart and then I had to do a transfer to get to our... What's that? I caramba to your transfer. Yeah, I said I caramba as I

got to Detroit and then I got to... I had a little bit of a confusing interaction. There's these guides in the city. I don't know, I assume they're city employees, but I talked to a guide. He was very helpful. Is this true? No, immediately people are saying no.

So I was just a random guy. Okay, well there's a random guy wearing a vest and holding a clipboard who seemed to know all the drivers of different vehicles and was calling them boss. It took me over to the right place to stand. It's time out a second. What city have you ever arrived in and be like,

hi, I'm the guide. There's no guides in cities? Hey, come here. I assumed it was some sort of tourism initiative. I assumed it was a guy who was just like, hey, he looked like he was there in official capacity. He seemed to know municipal employees, but I don't...

But I don't fucking know, maybe he was just a guy who was doing his own hustle. Either way, he was very helpful, but I did like... I had to hop on a streetcar to get to my ultimate destination, but he did ask where I was going. I said, Fisherman's Wharf, the closest landmark to our hotel, and he said,

what's that? Now... Damn, this guide is good. You definitely work for the city, yeah. I would think that'd be covered in the orientation. The Golden Gate, what? Our Uber driver was like, hey, I'll take you on the scenic route

for the Golden Gate Bridge, and I was like, I kind of already saw it, and he was already on the scenic route. I was like, okay. It looked beautiful. It's gorgeous. Big fucker. Yeah, he's fucking huge.

That thing was fucking big, dude. Compared to other stuff, fucker was huge. You know what? What was that rock movie where there's a big, the Faultline movie? Uh, San Andreas? Yeah, San Andreas, I fucking hate that shit

that they have a big wave hit it in San Andreas. Does that happen? You've never seen it? No, I've never seen San Andreas. I think I got some travesty. You've never seen San Andreas? No, but you know what? We have to. Guys, do you mind if we take a quick two-hour break?

I don't. I've seen Star Wars one, two, and three. Which ones are you talking about? It's a big fucking bridge. A gorgeous bridge. Good looking bridge. Not only does a big wave come through the Golden Gate Bridge, but the rock is riding a jet ski.

That's pretty cool. Like, wow, it happens. It is honestly pretty good. That's what movies are. It's either the rock riding a jet ski or Dr. Strange being friends with Loki and everyone going like, yeah! Unless you see RRR,

that's a completely different experience. Holy shit, what a fucking movie. Jesus Christ, see RRR if you haven't. What is RRR? It's a movie out of India. Sounds like a pirate movie. It does sound like a pirate movie, but it's not.

I think it's on Netflix right now, but Nellie and I sat in the theater. It's a theatrical experience. It's standing out at the end of the movie. It's an incredible movie. It's not a boring frame. It's unbelievable. Is there a multiverse in it?

There's no multiverse. I'll pass on it. I want to see Dr. Strange meet Crystalia. While the MCU is crossing over with the congratulations podcast, it's incredible. You know, Mitch,

you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right, why? I'm going to Costa Rica with the family. It's going to be a lot of fun. Going to maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Going to maybe see a bird.

Just that, just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. That sounds like a heck of a vacay. Winning some or trip abroad my go-to travel hack is Babel. Whether you're a season traveler or embarking on your first adventure, communication is key to fully experiencing

a new culture. That's where Babel comes in. Babel is the language learning app that's sold more than 10 million subscriptions. Thanks to Babel's additmively fun and easy bite-sized language lessons, there's still time to learn a new language before you reach your destination.

You know, Mitch, I've been taking some Babel lessons and it's a great benefit just in terms of having some conversational knowledge of another language. With Babel, you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson so you can start having real-life conversation in as little as 3 weeks, wigs!

Babel's expertly crafted lessons are built around real life. You learn how to have practical conversations about travel, relationships, business, and more. Other language learning apps use AI for their lesson plans, but Babel lessons were created by over 150 language experts based by real native speakers, not computers.

Their teaching method has been scientifically proven to be effective. With Babel, you can choose from 14 different languages. Plus, Babel's speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent. There are so many ways to learn with Babel. In addition to lessons, you can access podcasts, games,

videos, stories, and even live classes. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Start your new language learning journey today with Babel. And right now, get up to 55% of your subscription when you go to www.babel.com. That's www.babel.com.

For up to 55% off your subscription, Babel Language for Life. Hey everyone, it's the Doe Boys. This spring, you need nutritious, convenient meals to energize you for warmer, active days and to keep you on track to reaching your goals. Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat

meal kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and tackle everything on your list. Too busy to cook this spring with factors, skip the trip to the grocery store, and skip the chopping, prepping, and cleaning up.

You can skip all of it, Wags. Skip all of it because factors fresh never frozen meals already in just two minutes, so all you have to do is heat and enjoy, then get back outside and soak up that warmer weather. Looking for calorie-conscious options this spring, Wags? Try delicious, dietitian-approved calorie-smart meals with around

or less than 550 calories per day serving. We offer delicious flavor-packed options on the menu each week to fit a variety of lifestyles, from keto to calorie-smart, vegan and veggie, and protein plus. Prepared by chefs and approved by dietitians, each meal has all of the ingredients you need to feel satisfied all day long while

meeting your goals. With 34 plus chef-prepared dietitian-approved weekly options, there's always something new to try, plus you can round out your meal and replenish your snack supply with an assortment of 45 plus add-ons, including breakfast items like egg bites,

smoothies, and more wise, I had a smoothie today, you saw it in studio. Wow. Tropical fruit smoothie was delicious. Wow, hey, want to cut back on takeout? Get factor instead. Not only is factor cheaper than takeout, but meals are ready faster than restaurant delivery in just two minutes. With factor, you can rest

assured you're making a sustainable choice. We offset 100% of our delivery admissions to your door, source 100% renewable energy for our production sites and offices, and feature sustainably sourced seafood in our meals. Head to factormeals.com slash doughboys50 and use code

DOBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. That's code DOBOYS50 at factormeals.com slash DOBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. Do it. We have an amazing restaurant we're discussing today, and I feel like a restaurant that's very important to the city is a restaurant that

when we say we're going back to San Francisco, what should we review? I think we got mad the last couple times because of the bullshit that we reviewed, and they were finally like, you got to do this place. El Farolito, which was founded by Salvador Don Chava Lopez Monroy in 1982. That's a great fucking name. Great name,

great name. Say it again. Salvador Don Chava Lopez Monroy. One more time. Salvador Don Chava Lopez Monroy. Thank you. Damn, machine. What did you say? I said you're a machine. Oh, thank you. I'm not a compliment. This is, this to me is like, it's like

reviewing like Cactus Taqueria in Los Angeles. It's like reviewing like a great taco place. Sure. Now look, let's get to, let's get into the nitty gritty. But this is like a, this is like a chain. There's 12 locations. Like this is, this is a local chain. It's

local to the Bay Area, and but you know, it's a very important chain, I think, both in terms of the city's culinary and then also in terms of the Mission Burrito has become this national food, like the Mission Style Burrito. Everyone's fucking copied that, and there's, there's versions of that at some of the biggest Mexican-American concepts

that are worldwide. You know? Yeah, I know. Yeah, you know all that. I know all that stuff. I get it. Yeah. So Chipotle is basically a Mission Burrito, correct? I think it's definitely inspired by that. Why did you get a boot, Chipotle?

Yeah. Or are they saying food? Are they just saying food? That's food. Wags? Yeah. Let's break it down. There's which kind of burrito do you prefer?

Is it San Diego or San Francisco? Very good. Thank you, Mookie. The rapper of the group. Are you going to answer? I wrapped to you. What was the question?

I wrapped it to you when it comes to burritos, which do you prefer? And then you said the first part. San Diego or San Francisco. I don't know. I mean, there's good burritos both places. You have to wrap your answer.

You got to wrap the answer. Okay. It's okay. We were kidding. No, I can do it. No, I can do it. When it comes to burritos, A or B, I go and say option E all of the above.

I like them both. They both have their merits. Man. Option E, that's your rap name. I'll take it. You make me sound like KRS-1. Okay. Look, more like KFC-1.

Sorry, go on. Andre 3000. See what you can do with that. I like the San Francisco Burrito. I like the San Diego Burrito. Look, L.A.'s got good burritos too. Sure. I like Santa Barbara.

Santa Barbara's got good burritos too. I guess it's a thing if you like rice. If you think rice is nice, then San Diego Emission Burrito is your way to go. I like rice. But I like not to. I mean, I love rice just as a carb. It's one of my favorite carbs.

I feel like that. I'm a rice over bread guy. Like, I love rice. But in a burrito, I like rice, but not too much rice. Or... Yeah, like a slice of bread with a bunch of rice on it. Just pure carbs.

Pita with a fork and knife. Sounds good, honestly. I bet that would be good. Anyway, not too much rice. I don't want rice to be one of the main components of a burrito,

and I feel like it can happen with the style of burritos sometimes. It did not happen with our meal today. I thought the rice was nicely portioned. It was a little bit, added some texture, filled it up a little bit. This game is so close. It's insane. This game is so close and intense. I can't look at it.

What's happening? It's 94-90 Celtics, but it's crazy. It is crazy. 94-92. I thought the rice in the burrito was good, too. Thank you, Mookie. It was nice and soft. I'll let the crowd just watch the rest of it.

Mitch is turning his phone around. Sure. People sitting 30 feet away can make out a phone screen. It'll be good when they see constant text from my mom. Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in 10 minutes. Don't walk over the Golden Gate Bridge.

I don't trust the cables. The cables are fine, Ma. I just watched that documentary, The Bridge. That's a good way to get warmed up to go to San Francisco and watch The Bridge. Is that like a suicide doc? People are throwing themselves at The Bridge. It sounds grim.

Period on that. Next topic. They're going to need a bigger net to catch this bad boy. Go away. We all got the super burrito, which has rice, beans, tomato, onion, cilantro, salsa, cheese, sour cream, and avocado

with your choice of protein. You guys went al pastor. I went with the chili relleno. Let me tell you, when you have a veggie option that is not just like beans and rice, when you get like, hey, I can get something else in there, I'm all for that.

I mean, I've really delighted in those since college when I can find them. And this was a wonderful execution. It was very, very good. Nice and cheesy, a lot of texture. He turned off my phone and turning it down means that clearly the Celtics are probably not going to win. You're trying to reverse jinx right now.

Yeah, of course I am. I've never had a chili really... Oh, fuck. Relleno. Grange. I've never had a chili real... Fuck. I'm nervous.

I've never had a chili... Thank you. Say it one more time. Relleno. Emma, dub that in. I've never had a chili relleno... Fuck! I think no one's leaving until he gets it. Say it one more time.

Relleno. Relleno. Relleno. You guys rule. Thank you. I've never had one of those. It's good. It was very good. It was very tasty.

Yeah. You're not doing no meat shell you eat, but you're not doing any mammals at the moment. Yeah. Birds aren't mammals, right? I mean, you're the one who told me no mammals. Birds? Is that what you said? I don't think birds are mammals.

Birds. Birds. Sully's in trouble. Birds are dinosaurs, I thought. Well, that's what Jurassic Park would have you believe. Comes out today. Another option you could have gone and seen. Did you see the new prehistoric planet?

That's a god. Boo! I like dinosaurs. This is like a thing in our universe? There's a prehistoric planet? In our reality, there's a there's a show called prehistoric planet. Prehistoric planet is a show.

Oh, I thought you just like they discovered like a land before time somewhere in the galaxy. I was like, that's amazing. I haven't not heard that. You think there's a multiverse happening here in real life? I'm not even saying a multiverse. I'm just saying like another. It could exist in our universe. You thought, hold on a second.

I said prehistoric planet and you thought that they had found a portal back in time. Not a portal back in time, but like a planet that was at an earlier, this is a sci-fi trope. There's an earlier stage of evolution where it was like that was, it was basically in the Cretaceous period or something like that on this planet. So you think that we found

a planet and it was like a Jurassic planet and I'm breaking the news to you during this live show in San Francisco? I was for a second I was like, did this happen? Did this happen? Did I miss this? It's unbelievable. Well, guess what?

Your assumption is right. We have found a prehistoric planet. Wow. And it's called the museum. Yeah. Where you can discover all kinds of prehistoric and scientific things. Yeah, it's fun. And you could go there instead of

watching television. Yeah. I said no. TV rules. I was watching prehistoric planet and it is just, you know, they make it up. They make up these. What is it? It's a T-Rex swimming.

There is a T-Rex swimming in it. So is it, so it's like, this is a computer-generated recreation of Earth. Yes, I will explain it to you. It's like planet Earth from planet Earth, but it's dinos. Cool. So it's like planet Earth but dinos and you're like, I wonder what they'll do. And then like in like the first one or two episodes

T-Rex is fuck. Like almost off the bat, it's like two T-Rexes and they're like, this one's looking for a mate. T-Rex fucks another T-Rex. This one's looking to get railed. I took a class in college dinosaurs

and their relatives. Didn't retain a lot, but they're This is a college class? This is a college class. Dinosaurs and their relatives? Yeah, sounded fun. It was fun. So you did your dissertation on it? So day one, there was a similar thing. The professor was like

this fancy British man. He was like, we don't know much about dinosaurs we're up to, but we know they certainly did this. And he switched to a slide and was two brontosaurus's fucking. And there's part of his like, did you draw this?

It was great. I took this photo. Let me tell you, that brontosaurus dick probably looked a little bit like a super burrito. I'm getting us back on topic. Well done, Mitch. We should talk about its size. It is a big boy.

Big fucker. We're three big guys. We're three big eaters. We ordered enough food where the guy said you guys got a lot of food. There was something you were like, is there something else we should order? She was like

you guys do have a lot of food. And we didn't get that much stuff. You know how they have like the bank alarms that are silent? He had that perfect ambulance under the table. He was ready to push it at any moment at any minute. We got a lot of stuff

off the menu. Also decently priced I'd say. You're not breaking the bank here. It is cash only if there's anyone listening to this later and is going to visit once to visit the place just to keep that in mind. But it's a substantial burrito. It's a big log.

It's a big old foil wrapped toddler's leg. There's like a lot of meat in there. I say it's bigger than a toddler's. This is like you and me as a toddler. It's like a beefy toddler's leg. Big foiled up.

It's going to be a big log later on tonight too. Christ. I already went and it was foil wrapped. Jesus Christ. It's funny. It is funny. Man grows to picture. You know,

I get it. It's like shit and it's like in a foil like you ate something wrapped in foil as your shoe was wrapped and you pissed out Haritos, right? We got a few. We got three. Amanda and Haritos great drink great drink quality drink quality drink. I can't tell if they don't like the show

or what we're getting. Well, you talked about the beaver. Like you get a beaver that beverage anywhere. It's like something you can get at grocery stores. Maybe not in a pause line. It's great. It's a great drink. It's also just like what do you want? You want people to woo because we got

a super burrito? Yes. We also got a quesadilla suiza. Yeah. Let's go. In Wags? Yeah. It was my bite of the night. Wow. It was my bite of the night.

It was a really, really, really good quesadilla. The quesadilla itself was which is, which was a pretty simple preparation. It seemed like it didn't have any. You guys got it with carne asada. But the, but it was still, it was also substantial. It looked like a big ass meal. It was. Yeah.

Yeah. We got, Mitch and I split one and it was like, I mean, one half of it was a giant quesadilla. Also, I don't know what makes it suiza, but it was like folded inward or something. It was like dry fold. It makes it suiza as opposed to a regular quesadilla. Oh, okay. Oh, the carne asada is suiza. They're saying the carne asada is suiza.

I thought carne asada was carne asada. Alright, let's discuss. Let's, let's, this should be an open table discussion. You guys figure it out on your own. Come back to us when you want to engage with the show. Yeah. Give your answer to the jury foreman and they'll bring it up here and read it. I think the only way to describe it is

a toddler's torso, I guess. We're going in that direction. A toddler's torso that got sat on. Jesus Christ. What? Shouldn't have been there. You guys saw this thing.

You would think the same thing. It was so good. It looked delicious. It was, it's, it's got, it's like that carne, it's that good taqueria carne asada where it's just like salty and like everything there was so salty. It was savory.

Everything were like mushed into one delicious salty greasy thing. What's going on? Where the Celtics are going to lose? Wow. It's all right. It's a hundred ninety four. I mean, I'm sad. What's how much time is left? About a minute thirty.

They're not going to come back from that. Whatever. It's fine. Look, it's fine. Show to do. We're going to do the show. That means the under hit. I think the under was like two eleven. Shut the fuck up. Weiger did place a bet for Tatum as

MVP and it was the nicest thing he's ever done for me. Finals MVP. We had to fucking dox be in front of this Golden State crowd. It was a ten dollar bag by the way. All right, look, basketball is over for the night. We don't have to talk about it anymore. Um,

why is I have been to this El Farolito before. Me too. I think I've been to this very location. I think this is maybe the original or at least one that's in an area that tourists visit, but I've been to this one before. My first time and it was it's in. It's the it's the mission and then there was the El Farolito bar right next

door to it. I don't know. Do people like the bar? The El Farolito bar? Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Oh, Mexican soccer. Oh, that's great. There you go. It was I looked and it was very. It was like a very darkly lit and cold and cool. So I wanted to go in there. Yeah.

I want to crawl into any cave like structure that I can. Can my friends sleep here till our Uber gets here? Um, but I don't know how they were related. I mean, obviously related. It's El Farolito bar, but we ate over in the restaurant. Yes. In the last look, I would have to say the

last time I was here, I guess the the term to use. I was browned out and not a blackout, but what are you? What are you a brown out? People say that, right? I didn't shit my pants. But you are holding it in so hard that you like worse.

I fainted to Mike Hamford's arms. It was me. It was I was up here for San Francisco sketchfest and we came to we went to on my I brought all the birthday boys over here to El Farolito. Look at you and and I enjoyed it then.

Let me talk about what I got in the Super Burrito because we got the quesadilla Suiza which had carne asada on the board. So we got it with carne asada. You could get it with any meat. And we asked the guy behind the counter. We said, what's your favorite? What's your favorite

meat? And he said in a burrito, it's al pastor. So Mookie and I both got al pastor. So what do people think? Do they like that or no? All right. I prefer al pastor in a taco to a burrito. But I and I prefer

carne asada in a burrito, but we got that in the quesadilla. So I got pastor. I kind of wanted to get carnitas and I wish I had now, but the pastor burrito, I mean, it's delicious. It's pastor, but it's like pastor has that like sweet quality to it, which is not what I want in a burrito. Give me that in a little taco

and then fill my burrito with salty meat. Yeah. Yeah, I liked it. I like my pastor a little well done. I maybe should have ordered it that way. There's a lot going on in the burrito and that's super real. There's a lot happening. A lot of components. I don't need the guac, I don't think. I don't think I need

the guac. I like the guac. You think it's too much. You think you know you could lose an element. People are hissing. Well, because guac is good. I actually like the avocado that was in it. I thought it was nice. Oh, it was avocado. It wasn't straight off guac. I mean, the menu described it as avocado. I thought I had like a chunk of avocado

in there. Maybe it was guac. There's just a lot going on the burrito. It's great, but we also got well, you can, I mean, you can but this is the thing and this is you can, because we got it with everything on it. We got it the default option, but you can customize. You can take out components.

You can simplify it. Also, isn't it kind of the point of a burrito is to just shove as much shit in there as you possibly can? Sometimes it can be, but it sounds like for Mitch the avocado was ungepochka and I think if you were going to do that you son of a bitch. I think if you're going to

like, like, but if that's your feeling, you can take it out. You can say like, I don't need, you know, it's like, hey, just pick it out. No, well, don't pick it out. I'm saying like when you're ordering it, say like, you know, like I picked the pepperoni off your pizza when I had covid. That's right. We went, we had, we got pizza together and I was pulling the pepperonis off of Nick's

pizza and then a couple of days later, covid positive. Yeah. And why is he never got it? I never got it somehow. Congrats. Yeah. Not fair, honestly. No, you don't have to clap for him. I'm mad. He should get it. If I get it, he has to get it on tour too. Well, why

I Hanford asked me, he's like, where are you? I'm like El Farolito. I took you here. He's like, cool. He's like, what are you doing in San Francisco? And I wrote Doughboy's live and it's in it auto corrected to Doughboy's lice and I'm like, that seems too much like a real thing. That's the new strain of lice going around

started a Doughboy show and spread around the super burrito was great. It was a fantastic burrito. Very good burrito, but that quesadilla honestly did it for me more than the burrito. Me too. I still have half of the burrito sitting in my room and I will eat some of it

when I get back. Well, that's what I was driving at earlier when I mentioned that we were big eaters, we got a lot of food, is that we all were like, that burrito is for me two meals. That's a lunch and then that half you can save for later. Like you can eat it, you know, whatever

fucking on the way home like I did. But like it's not like an entire burrito. It's a big boy. I think it's too much for one meal. So when this person was down there and he's proposing you were just eating a big fucking burrito behind them.

That you didn't even want. Congratulations. That's cool. Nice corgi. I'm talking to the burrito. We also got ourselves a torta, which I think they have a good torta there. It's

very good. It's got the beans, it's got the cheese, it's got the sauerkraut that doesn't list mayo, but I sent some mayo on that. You sent some mayo? Yeah, there's a lot of mayo. It was like spider sense. My mayo sense was tingling. Yeah. Jesus.

Mayo is near. I think it was easy to sense because there was a lot in the sandwich. It seemed like there was a lot of mayo. Yeah, I don't know how strong your mayo sense is when like one bite you're like, oh, that's a lot of mayo. Yeah, it was they were thick. They were heavy with the mayo,

but I didn't mind it and we got it with chicken and I don't know. I thought this was really, I thought this was very tasty. I thought there was a nice crunch on that roll. That was a quality bread. Mookie mentioned a little bit of char to it. Yeah, it was like over toasted like when a good like pizza crust has char on it.

It was like a good, it was like part of the flavor and they have jalapeños on there. I love when they put that on stuff. Yeah, I love those jalapeños. They're fun. They're spicy and they're fun. It's delightful. They're kind of crunchy. I'll say this tort is a fun thing to say. I like the name

of torta is a fun thing to say. It's fun. Yeah. Chile Relleno. Chile Relleno. I almost I almost got it. Chile re fuck. Man, I shot for the moon. I should have done it.

I really, really liked the torta. I thought it was great. Look, people are going to get mad at me, but I told you last night I didn't think that this place should count as a reviewable place. 12 locations. Why do you think that? I know places with fewer locations. We reviewed places in San Francisco with fewer locations.

We did fucking Boudin Bakery when we're up here. People are booing Boudin Bakery. Boudin Bakery. Oh, maybe they are just saying Boudin. Are you booing or saying Boudin? Boudin Bakery. Is that why Chesa Boudin lost?

Everyone was just pissed off about the Bakery. Yeah, it's fucking. This place is absolutely eligible. This is it's a local chain. It for sure counts. What's your argument against it? Celtics are about to lose. Wow. Jesus Christ.

You did this to yourself. It's too good. We're going to come up to San Francisco. I'm going to miss the Celtics. They're going to lose, and then it's going to get five forks. I look like a real loser over here. Mitch. I didn't say I'm giving it five forks.

Wow. But it's going to get it, is what you said. It'll get it, but it won't come from me. I'm telling you that right now. That's true. I don't know. I think this place absolutely qualifies, but maybe since the subject has been breached,

we should just get to it. Let's go to our final thoughts in El Farolito. I have something to say about tortas real quick. I think they are going to have a moment this decade. I think there is going to be a moment where a fast casual change in America. Don't put your ass on the line like this. This decade?

You think this decade of tortas might have a moment? This decade of tortas. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, tote it down. You don't want to say this right now. I'm fucking saying it. Dude. I'm hanging my ass out the window and fucking making a call. I think it's going to scrape the ground.

You're saying this decade a sandwich will... I'm saying I feel like it's a... You got the Golden Gate Bridge of Asses, by the way. It's huge and it's beautiful. Oh, God bless you. That's nice to say. All right. The...

I think there's going to be a fast casual torta concept that has some... that makes a run at it. I think it's going to be a thing that... It's unexplored territory, I feel like, in the American chain scene, and I think we're going to see. Or maybe an existing chain like a Chipotle will introduce one, and that'll be how it gets to the market.

You think Taco Bell would ever do a torta? Have they ever? They've done, and hey, this is the thing we talked about in a previous episode. They have not done a torta, but they have done a round beef with their taco meat. We're talking about the bell beaver. Oh.

Bring back the bell beaver. Hashtag bring back the bell beaver. We want to get that started. Hashtag bring back the bell beaver, and for our lawyer who asked us who requested, bring back the, what are they called? I think they're called the Creespuss. The Creespuss. Bring back the Creespuss. Cinnamon Creespuss. Cinnamon Creespuss.

Yeah. Like a chip dessert. Bring back the bell beaver. The grossest something menu item. Bring back the beaver. Sounds like, yeah. Yeah. I just had a fucking bell beaver. You don't know what that means. I just did a bell beaver, bro. Wow.

I swear to God, I thought you said Wiger. What happened? I thought you said Wario. Wario, come on. In play. I'mma gun the win. If the warrior is called on Wario, he wears similar colors.

The Golden State Warios? The Golden State Warios? They should do that for a color way. That would be fun. You millennials, it's gonna become the Golden State Warios. It's gonna. You know it's inevitable. God. The Celtics will be, I don't know, Yoshi. I couldn't think of a green, but Luigi is green.

Luigi's good. Yeah, he could be Luigi. He's Italian. I don't love Luigi. That Italian background of his. Congrats to the Warriors. Congratulations. Big win. Must win, you got it. What a series.

We got ourselves a series, Mitch. I'm a good fan. I'm not an evil fan. He was out of bounds. Let's get to our final thoughts on El Farolito. So we're each gonna go around, give a closing argument if you will, Mookie, and then end with a fork score from zero to five forks.

Mitch brought up five forks. Let's get that. We're gonna find out. Mookie, we'll begin with you. Okay, well, thanks so much for having me. Thanks for being here. Mookie Blake Locke, everyone. We love you, Mookie. Stop, stop.

That's not why I do this. This was great. This didn't feel like it. This felt like just going to a cool Mexican place in the mission and all the food was delicious and I would go back there guaranteed everything was salty

and greasy and savory and I don't know. I don't know how to do this. I don't know if this is good, but five forks. Wow. No complaints. Look, I don't think we've discussed it enough about mission burritos versus San Diego

versus LA. I think we do have to get into it. Sure. Because I do. I think I do prefer the San Diego style. Look, I like a California burrito. I do. I like a connoisseur. I like fries. I do. I like that. That's fine. I like this. San Francisco is a great food city.

It's a great food city. It's undeniable. I always get a burger at Sam's every time I'm here. You do. And I don't think it's going to happen this trip, but I'm fucking pissed. We go to the Tonga hut or the Tonga room. The Tonga room. Lot of fun. Real blast.

We're not doing anything. Are we? I think you didn't you brought a foldable bed. It's in the green room. Wags is going to sleep here tonight. We're going to go up to Seattle tomorrow. Is anyone coming to Seattle from this show? Not anymore. There are a couple people. Okay.

They've changed their minds. It's a great food city. Wags, it really is a house of prime rib. I've eaten it. I've eaten everywhere, man. That's good. It was good. Thank you.

I've been to Sam's Burgers. You are right. Sam's Burgers. Are you okay? That's okay buddy. Very hard song to riff out.

I know. So rapid fire. He goes really fast. In all I could remember was Sam's Burgers. How's the N. King? I've been to Sam's Burgers. Sam's Burgers. Back to Sam's Burgers. Sam's Burgers. Sam's Burgers.

I don't know where I don't I don't know where we eat. I don't know if we will eat. I think El Farlito might be a one in done in San Francisco. We'll have another meal in the city. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever have another meal ever again. Wow.

That might have been my last one ever. You could do a lot worse for a last meal though. I'll tell you what. Why? That is very true. And this is why because here's the deal. The first time I went to El, I've been to El Farlito more than once and every time I've been there, I've been

I've been brown out, browned out which establishes. Yeah, which is established you had to shit so bad you lost consciousness. Got it. I was very drunk. So for me, I'm like will it hold up like like like is this drunk food or

is it not drunk food and it's not. Look, it is drunk food but it also is not drunk food because it's fantastically good. Everything we had there was fantastic. I wanted you know there was there was we didn't get any shrimp. I want to try some seafood. They were out of the

ceviche ceviche which should we get ceviche there? I'm not sure. No, don't do it. I liked every bite I had and I love I love what it is. I love that it's that it's it's expanded to 12 but it's still the quality hasn't dipped is

do people think that there are better burrito places to go in the city there are I'm sure right. I think so. Yeah, but whatever for like one of the ones that's like popular and like and put mission burritos on the map. It deserves five four. Wow. Very good score. What am I going to do?

Well, I'm going to do you won the game. You get five forks. I'm just a fucking I'm about to fucking brown out. Mitch, I feel like John Hamm and Maverick in that you've put me in a very difficult position here.

Wow. Him trying to fit in a cockpit with that hog. No, I mean I mean that's the I don't call it the cockpit for nothing. He's that's his little monologue. I remember after Tom Cruise there was actually a storyline where John Hamm

had to get in the cockpit and his hog was too big. I know. Though that would be a great story. Yeah, probably deleted scene. Definitely. His call sign is cyclone in the in the movie, which probably came from him whipping that fucking hog

360 between takes generating deal force wins. It's a it's a I won't I won't spoil the plot point great fucking great fucking movie. I won't spoil the plot point, but he basically has a point where he's like you put me in a

very difficult position because now it falls to me to am I am the gatekeeper. Do I allow what can I say I'm kind of the Maverick. Boogie or the rooster and wags you are the ham. I'll take it. I think I'm more the goose.

Yeah. Rooster is rooster Val Kilmer. No rooster is a is a what's his name Miles Teller you are Oh no you are you are Val Kilmer though you're Iceman that's totally that's totally thank you. You're the cool one man that movie rules it's fucking you

could have gone and see Top Gun Maverick gun. I'm Val Kilmer from the Batman movie. That's fair. That's okay with you guys. That's what that works for us in Batman. I went to the Neverland Ranch auction and the

the one of the oh it's just stuff there's no okay. Oh it's an auction. Never mind. Christ. $10,000 for Mack. The Jesus.

Thanks for coming to my auction Liger. Yeah. I fucking hate this. Anyway auction while he was still alive and well he had he had my closest friends are here. It's amazing auction me off if you wanted. Amazing assemblage of items

I believe he had four Simpsons arcade machines. I don't understand why it would be more than one but he one item he did have was a statue of himself wearing the Val Kilmer bat suit from Batman forever and I wonder

why he picked that bat suit. That's really good. It's fucking awesome. I mean I should have bought it. I wish I had. I think we've told this story before but Armin rode the train at Neverland Ranch. You have mentioned that. Our friend Armin

rode the train at Neverland Ranch. And then Michael Jackson said I like your E.T. sweatshirt. I'm going to get him back. And Tom Cruise danced at his house. That's fucking awesome. What a life. You put me in a difficult position

because I am the gatekeeper. Am I going to allow El Farlito in the hallowed halls and the gatekeeper. Who did you go to the Neverland auction with? I think we need to get back on that for just a minute. Past guest Ryan Perez. A lot of fun.

Did you try to get anything out of it? No. I mean it was one of those things where it was like the day where everything was just on display and so we were just checking it all out. Wow. Yeah. It was fun. Agreed. Honestly it was a, I had the time of my life.

It was great. A lot of cool shit. And it's fucking Michael Jackson. You do have that T-shirt. I had the time of my life at Neverland Ranch. He wears it a lot. And the back, the back says, the auction, the auction.

I really enjoyed my meal here. I think this place does this style just really, really well. Does it belong in the hallowed halls of the Platinum Plate Club? Wow. Is this a five forker or is this a mere four forker? And

my gut tells me like my gut and my head I think we're in alignment here. I think this place, I think El Farlito for what it represents and for the quality food it's still giving it's still offering and for informing

the culinary identity of the city deserves five forks. So welcome to the Platinum Plate Club. Congratulations. You happy? Fucking Warriors win. Fucking Platinum Plate Club. Dear God.

It's the Warriors of Restaurants. Wow. Shut up. Come on. It's actually the Warriors of Restaurants. You piece of shit. Listening to the episode later.

I was the guy who said it's the Warriors of Restaurants. I was listening on the podcast. Can you hear my voice? I'm with Clay. I don't like that the Doe Boyz swear during the show. We bring children to the show even though we seem like we don't have children or wives. We have beautiful

wives and children. All of us are married to beautiful wives. And have beautiful children. We have fulfilling lives. My job is I'm an aspiring toilet repairman and I have a gorgeous wife. She's an astronaut and we have three kids.

They're all in Harvard. My name is Darth Jizz. I'm in the Doe Score. I'm an aspiring toilet repairman. Does anyone know how to break into the toilet repair industry? Follow me around.

Let's just say there's a certain hotel later tonight which will probably need a repair or two. Hey you. You craving fresh, delicious, easy meals,

try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries delivered right to your door. That's right, wives. Wild grain is the first ever bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough

breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries. Unlike typical supermarket bread, wild grain uses a slow fermentation process that's easier on your belly, lower in sugar and rich in nutrients and antioxidants. Every item bakes from frozen

in 25 minutes or less. You'll never run the risk of getting bored with wild grain. They're constantly adding new, seasonal, and limited time special items to try. Plus, for every new member, wild grain donates six meals to the greater Boston Food Bank

Wags, Boston Baby, so you can eat good and do good all at the same time. All you have to do is sign up at wildgrain.com slash Doe Boys and choose what products you want to receive and how often. It's easy to reschedule, skip, or cancel.

Plus, for a limited time, you can get $30 off the first box. Plus, free croissants in every box. When you go to wildgrain.com slash Doe Boys to start your subscription. You heard me. Free croissants in every

box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash Doe Boys. That's wildgrain.com slash Doe Boys or you can use promo code Doe Boys at checkout. Do it. Folks, that was our review of El Feralito. We've got a local food

staff. We've got ourselves a segment here. Guys, thanks for coming out on a crazy night. Thanks for coming out on a crazy night. Hey, thanks to Emma Erdbrink who's walking our food out for our segment right here. Wow. Look at these. Wow. Oh, these are wild.

Now, there was a lot of dispute as to the origins of the fortune cookie. It is generally understood to be American in origin. Whether it was created here in the Bay Area or down in L.A., different people have different claims.

But one place that Emma went to is the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Company. And got a couple varietals of fortune cookie which we are going to dig into. And hey, we got some fortunes we can read.

There's also fortune pancakes. Yes. And Emma was like, frisbee them out to the audience. Emma, you're usually the smart one of the bunch. I guess I will frisbee one out. Okay. Oh my god, it went so far.

That was a really good throw. It decapitated the guy who said El Feralito are the warriors of restaurants. He's decapitated. Wow, R.I.P. Steph Curry just came and picked up his head and dunked it.

Yeah, everyone's going nuts. Wow. So these are chocolate covered and then that other one over there, I believe, is coconut. And then Emma also brought out some regulars which we can distribute if you want

and toss any of those out. You want to try one of these pancakes? I'll give them to the audience if not. You want one? What do you think? I'll try a pancake. My understanding is this was a misfire. This is the same material as

I took a smaller half, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that in purpose. There's like only five here, but here you go. The actual fortune cookies too. There's a lot of more people than I thought. I'm going back. Yeah, people gave me this show for some reason.

What the fuck? Give the actual fortune cookies too. Emma's got it. Oh, yeah. No, it's not an empty room. We're just bombing. That's truly scared me when I saw how many people were here.

Oh, these are for the people. Yes. Everyone take at least take one now. We'll take an actual fortune cookie. We've got these flavored ones. I guess we don't have to try fortune cookies. We've had them before, but here we go.

We're going to crack this open. You're supposed to eat. This is what I've always said about the fortune cookies. You're supposed to eat one half before you read the fortune. Oh, I didn't know that. No, do people do that? I've never heard that. I heard one half.

The real kindness comes from within you. How about that? That's nice. Ted Lasso. It says Ted Lasso. Written by Ted Lasso. A shooting star tonight will bring you good luck tomorrow.

That's nice. In bed. Dude, come on. Dude, I can't, that's the craziest joke. That's fucking insane. When I'm just trying to relax and eat a fortune cookie, my bros bring that up. I'm like, guys, not now, dude.

I don't want a fucking boner when I'm trying to eat a fortune cookie. Just trying to eat a fortune cookie. I'm trying to get a fucking rock hard, dude. I'm fucking throbbing in vainie over here. Because you said, out of bed, at the end of your fortune. Fucking got a turgid fucking hog. What are you doing?

Okay, what about the chocolate one? Oh, how about this? You have a keen sense of humor and bring out the best in others. The last hour would beg to differ. Check this out. Keep up the good work.

You soon will be rewarded financially. There you go. Doughboys dollars. Wow, I gotta say, the thing with fortune cookies, they're a lot of fun. They're real hoop. But generally,

there's just not a lot going on flavor-wise. These chocolate-covered ones with these little sprinkles on here are delightful. That really plusses it up. Are there fortunes in the chocolate-covered ones? Yeah, open it up. I was about to eat it.

Get that fortune open. All right, here we go. Oh, that's a lot of fun. I'll just read the first part of this. Okay. Avoid unchallenging occupations. Done and done. I won't read the second half.

Wait, is the second half a bummer? Call me fat ass. You fat fuck. You're a fat piece of shit. Here is my other one. Your troubles will cease, and fortune will smile upon you. Aw, that's nice.

They're getting really nice ones. Optimistic. Very wholesome. These are fantastic. I love the chocolate-covered ones. The chocolate-covered ones are a pure snack. They're great. I'm gonna give them to the audience, too. Wow, Mitch. I said that because they're good. Should we not give it to the audience?

Give them to the audience. We don't need more cookies. We do so much damage to our bodies on these tours. We don't need to eat extra cookies. Has he been giving them to people, or is he just keeping them for himself? He put it in his backpack. This one I do believe is coconut. It's not labeled, but I think it's coconut with a little chocolate drizzle. And these are different colors.

Some are green, some are red, some are yellow. So there you go. It's like a stoplight. It's like a stoplight, he said. Some are green, some are red, some are yellow. When Wyger has a kid, instead of opening a book, he's gonna open these and go, Some are green, some are red, some are yellow.

Whatever child he's... All are tasty. Whatever child he's doing that to is like... Screaming. That's the child that's been missing for days. He got it at the Neverland Ranch auction. You'll accomplish more if you stay focused. Fuck you.

Mookie, focus up. Can you hand me the... Are these different flavors? The red and... I don't know. I believe they're not labeled, but I believe Emma told us these were supposed to be coconut flavored. I don't know if the different colors,

the different color ways have different flavoring. There is obviously a chocolate drizzle. I'm gonna try all three just to be sure. This fortune's fun. An admirer is too shy to greet you. Wherever you are, I... You mean every male listener of the podcast? I've chocolate all over my hands.

I hope so. Life is a series of choices. Today, yours are good ones. That's not true. Yeah, it was a bad choice today. 17, 8... Oh, sorry. A bold...

A bold and dashing adventure is in your future within the year. Whoa. I think I'm on it, fellas. Wow. I think I'm on it. This has been a bold and dashing adventure. I never...

And I don't know why this thought has never occurred to me. There should... This should be omnipresent. These kind of fortune cookies that are not just the default, plain, generally flavorless, but fun version. These fancier varietals

should be at more places, because it's an absolute blast. And it's a nice little treat. It's like it tastes good. It's not just like, oh, I'm just opening this up and there's an empty car that I'm going to consume. First of all, stop yelling at us. I think there should be more places.

Okay. You will profit soon from an investment opportunity. Whoa. Fortune really does favor the bold. I invested in the Matt Damon Crypto. Yeah. True story, I was supposed to do a crypto ad with... Yes.

We both almost did a crypto ad with... And then I got COVID. And it was a combo of should I do this crypto ad with... Right. And then God was like, I'm giving you COVID. I won't let you decide this on your own. You're getting COVID.

And then you called me and said, do you want to do this crypto ad with... And they booked a flight for me to Tampa and then that night they called me and went, they're going in a different direction. Yeah. Instead of... It's no longer...

I couldn't even think of anything fucking funny. Was there... I suck. Was there an NDA for that? I hope not. Emma? A big long bleep during this segment, please. Well, you guys didn't sign anything, so...

I can't remember if I did or not. Okay, well, maybe you did. I think I signed a lot of stuff. It's funny because that you would get the... Like, Mitch, if anyone got blowback for doing a crypto ad, it would be you. Yeah. It would be you, the working class actor.

It would not be Matt Damon or Steph Curry or whoever. These millionaire celebrities who are just making extra money that they don't need. What the fuck? Let me get those crypto bucks, baby. It's evil. Crypto's maybe evil, but we don't know. I don't know.

We're in the land of crypto. These fortunes can't come soon enough. Financial fortunes. And we'll get some respect around here. These are different flavors, by the way, each of them. I'm gonna say this. Yes. I mean, is this a pop...

Is the Golden Gate Fortune Cookies... Is this like a popular spot? There's a lot of attention to us. I'm hearing some yeses, some applause. People like this spot. They're all snacks. And each of these are a different flavor of fortune cookie. They're snacks, yeah.

Yeah, you treat yourself. What I'm learning, and I can't believe it's this late in life where I'm having this revelation, that the air is over for the same old fortune cookie. It's ancient daddy's fortune cookie. Exactly. Wait, this is your revelation?

Is that you've decided today? Time's up, fortune cookie. Regular style. It's now chocolate-covered fortune cookie only. It's the era of the chocolate-covered fortune cookie. Because you had one today. It was fucking great. How often do you have a fortune cookie?

You're like, ooh, that was good. You're like, ah, the fortune was funny, and you got to... Fortune was funny. Yeah, I mean, well, you added in bed at the end of it. Yeah, that's fair, yeah. I'm a little bit of a loner. But you're never like, I like eating this.

Right? Or if you like eating it, it's just nostalgia of like, I liked getting this as a kid, and so I like this from all your flavor. But these actually taste good. Every time you've ever eaten a fortune cookie in your life is after you just did a giant meal of Chinese food, and you're like, just choking it down because you have to?

Right. Yeah. Also, half of the meal was that, too, me forcing it down. I got one last one. Today will be lucky and memorable for you. Wow. Boy.

Fucking bullshit. Who put the fortune cookie guy up to that shit? All right, well, I got chocolate hands. My hands will still be chocolate-carved in Seattle tomorrow night. I don't want to wipe them on this lovely tablecloth, so I'm just trying to, I'm just mashing.

I'm pretty sure they may throw this away. The whole table? I'm just mashing chocolate into my palms, thinking that'll help. It won't have. I'm telling you to lick it. All right, let's wrap it up, guys. It's not that type of show.

All right, here we go. Let's open the feedback, and hey, we're going to take a few audience questions, so once again, please welcome Emma Hardbrink. Emma's coming out here. Emma, who flew all the way from the east coast, napkins. Thanks, Emma.

Wow, Emma walking napkins out here, above and beyond. I just sprinted for those, so now I'm out of breath. Sadly, so am I. I haven't moved. I got Matthew L, Carlos T, and Melissa F, if you want to come over here.

All right, if you submit a question, and your first name and last initial lines up with that. How many showed up? All right, two people are walking over. Walk over to where Emma is, towards the front of the stage. Stage left, they call it in the industry. Now, this is fun.

From your perspective, that's the right side. Hold on a second. Now that the house lights are on, there are very many empty seats. Look at this. Thank you. Yeah, dim them just a little bit to get rid of that back section. They're coming closer.

Why? That's a cool kid. That's a cool kid move. I get it. So this question was submitted by Carlos T and then in parentheses, it says, or Diane, and so Diane came to ask. Hi, Diane. Wow, is Carlos your significant other?

Yeah, he's my fiance. Congratulations. Congrats, that's very funny. He's a corgi. Two months. Wow, very exciting. He proposed outside today while Michael was standing there.

In front of a corgi. His question is, if you had to competitively eat one food item, which do you think you'd have the most success with? Wow, thanks Diane. Thanks Carlos.

Congratulations. The U-Song did nothing wrong t-shirt, it looks like. Wow. There's a lovely couple sitting up front, how about that? Wow. Thank you guys, and thank you for buying that t-shirt, one of three sold, I believe. Hmm.

Come on, I can eat just straight meat like nobody's business. Really? I bet I could eat like a whole pulled pork. Like a whole pork butt. Wow, that's a really bad ass answer. Yeah, that's fucking awesome.

I just keep going and going with meat and cheese. Cheese is cheese is cheese, the whole pig. The whole pig. I could do a whole pig. Let's slow down. Just the shoulder, just the shoulder. All right, all right, all right.

Wags for me. I mean, I'm a big pizza nut. You know, I can eat a lot of pizza slices. Yeah, sure. But I can't competitive pizza eat like three, I mean three pizzas, that's not even probably a lot. There's training involved. It's like looking at a competitive marathoner

and you're like, oh, wow, you ran 26 five-minute miles in a row. That is staggering. Running one five-minute mile is impossible, but if you train your whole life, you can get there. What kind of competition are we talking about, too? Are we talking about time? Or are we talking about amount?

Or are we talking about heat? Yeah, what the fuck did you mean by that question? So if you're saying one pizza, but could you eat one whole pizza faster than someone else could? Amount, okay, largest quantity. You know what, I'm going to go after one that no one would really try.

I choose Skittles. Who's Skittles? Not a lot of... Yeah, Skittles lentils, thank you. No, Skittles lentils. Skittles is always plural, that's the brand name. Skittles lentils. Skittles lentil.

Skittles lentil, yeah. I'll eat that, that's what I would eat. There's no one's gonna... And I can shoot down some candy. I can take down some sugar. I wouldn't say you have a sweet tooth, but you're a guy who can eat a lot of candy. Twist of metal, baby.

Every time he says sweet tooth, I'll bring it up. I remember when I bought a funnel. I made a funnel when I was 16 years old. And I was trying to show my friends how the funnel worked. Did I ever tell you this? And so I funneled a Pepsi. And then, like, more people came over, so I funneled more Pepsis.

And I had a funnel, like, five or six Pepsis. So maybe Pepsi. This is a rare time where it was Pepsi in the house. It was such a quaint anecdote. It sounded like an O. Henry story. You built a funnel and then showed your friends you were guzzling a bunch of Pepsis? What did you build the funnel for?

Was it in shop? To funnel beer. But you didn't just buy a funnel? You thought I built a funnel in shop? It sounded like you built a funnel. Oh, yeah, no. I built a funnel for drinking. You built a funnel?

But how did you build it? I went to Home Depot. I got a tube about this long. I said, give me some of that. What is it? PVC? I don't know what the fuck it's called. Give me some of that tube. Put it together. I taped it up.

And then we funneled from it. So you duct-taped a hose to an existing funnel. And that is you saying I built a funnel? Built. With my own two hands. I thought it was an O. Henry story. Is O. Henry a candy bar?

It is a candy bar, yeah. Then it is an O. Henry story. Because I funneled a few Pepsis and ate an O. Henry immediately after. So Pepsi. You may have taken mine, what I was going to say, because I have a remarkable lung capacity.

And I also have I can swallow a lot of liquid. I can just... I can guzzle. So like... We don't have to say anything at all. So, but if you're going to say... You just said...

If you're going to take some sort of sweet drink, because I'm not going to... If you're going to take a sweet drink, because I'm not going to choose milk or buttermilk or anything, that would make me throw up. Yeah, that would be strange. I feel like you're going to say water.

I could drink a lot of water. I could drink so much water. I would like... I could win in a water drinking contest, I'm pretty sure. Although, you got to be cautious there. You get hyponaturemia. Lower the selenium in your blood.

Hold your weaver-weave thing. Yeah, people... You drink too much water, you can poison yourself. You got to be careful. Thanks for bringing that up. That's why I never drink the stuff. Never touch it. I think I would say that I would go with something spicy.

I would go with something that... I think if I was in some sort of context, or how much spicy food can you eat, I think I could do pretty well. Just a heads up. You went to the emergency room, I did blow my hole up. In the very last episode of this podcast.

That's true, but... It's okay. I like that you shadowed that with the same veracity as... Warriors! How's your butthole? But that is the after-effects. That is not like the act of eating it. The act of putting it in your mouth

and into your digestive tract. I think I could do that a lot. It is, will be part of it. That will be part of it, maybe eventually. Yes, eventually, but in time, but we're talking about a contest. So it's just a countdown? You win the contest and you're like, I'm going to blow.

I think that's probably how a lot of these contests go. If I were to imagine... Your answer is spicy stuff. I think hot peppers. We spent too much time on that. Way to go, Carlos. That was my fault. Hey guys, I'm Matt.

Hi, Matt. What's your shirt say? It says sleep, like the band. I thought it was a slayer shirt. The sleep shirt. I thought it was just the concept of sleep. I'm really into it. I do it like a bunch.

Are there any foods that y'all associate with a specific emotional or mental state? If I'm eating X, that means that I must be feeling Y. For me, it's like if I'm eating instant ramen, it means that I'm sick or I'm in emotional distress.

So maybe not booze or drugs, but like food. Yeah. I was going to have a sad answer, but you rolled up booze. I'll say... But in that same sort of scenario, and thank you so much for the question, Matt.

Great question. I've gotten a lot better about stress eating and stress drinking, but that would be like a fucking shitty day. I'm taking a fucking sleeve of golden Oreos to the dome and a fucking full bottle of red wine.

That's like... Jesus. That's the kind of thing I would do to punish my body, to make my body feel as bad as my brain did. But in terms of what I found myself doing lately, and this is probably unhealthy in a different way, that's worked pretty well for me,

is I'll give myself a little treat reward. It's like, hey, you did pretty good. I'm going to walk over and I'm going to get myself a scuba ice cream. If I get myself a scuba ice cream from the parlor, that feels like a special treat. It feels different from having a Ben & Jerry's pint in your freezer.

So yeah, I make more of a little display of it. That's good. I remember... I mean, this is just sad, I guess. I have a sad answer in my head of like, I ate a bunch of chocolate-covered pineapple when my dad died. Wanted to get the sperm to taste good.

That is sad. I want my sperm to taste good for the funeral. Dad! The day of your funeral, it's going to taste the best it's ever tasted. Oh, man. So that's my association with that. Sure, yeah.

I think when I'm in a bad state, I love Domino's, but also I know for when I'm getting a Domino's pizza and cheesy stuffed bread, I'm like, oh, you're in a bad spot. Right. So that's a big thing, yeah, adding extra items. Once I reach a certain threshold of...

and I'm adding that extra thing to my Del Taco order, I'm like, oh, this is fucking bad. Actually, I have that even within a Domino's order. Yeah. If I am ordering the thin crust Domino's pizza, I'm doing it right and having a little treat for my shirt. Sure, yeah.

If I'm getting that pan pizza with this crazy stuffed bread, the cheese stuffed bread, we're in bad... Something has gone wrong. Something has gone really wrong. Probably we'll get it later tonight, honestly. Yeah. But just within my Domino's order,

I know that between the two. I have a good and a bad. I'm celebrating. That's great. That's nice. That's fun. Also horny, hey, if you... Yeah, man, nothing has to be hornier than slurping down those slimmers, baby. If you combine that with a chocolate-covered

fucking pineapple, we're in business. And then I feel like if I'm eating like really cheap, like... like, when I'm broke, I go to like 7-Eleven. Yeah. And get like 7-Eleven brand pies. 7-Eleven burrito is your...

That's a bad... I would never. I would never. But those like chocolate cream-filled pies that are fucking delicious, they're really good. No, they're really... You're wrong. They're really good. I'm going to get you one after the show. If you buy two of them, you get extra points on the 7-Eleven app.

And then I can get a free one later. So jokes on you. But yeah, when I'm like... I feel like when I'm broke I'm depressed because I'm broke. I go to like 7-Eleven and buy like... like... you know, shitty, cheap candy. Yeah. A 7-Eleven meal

is always kind of depressing. Yeah. I would stop by when I... this was back when I worked at Activision and I'd go to 7-Eleven. I'd have a fucking shitty day. I'd go to 7-Eleven and I'd get an ice cream sandwich, like one of those Toll House cookie sandwiches

from the freezer, and a 40 of Mickey's and... What the fuck's going on with you? A sleeve of golden Oreos and a bottle of red wine and also an ice cream sandwich and a 40 of Mickey's. So it reached a point where the guy,

the 7-Eleven employee, Lovely Man started calling me Mickey Man. And I was like... I got to go to a different 7-Eleven. This is dark. It was years ago. I'm not drinking. I haven't had water in...

a long time. 15 years? 15 years. Mickey Man, Jesus Christ. All right, one more question. Hi, remind us of your name. I'm so sorry. I'm Melissa. Hi, Melissa. Thanks for standing for 20 minutes. You guys are great.

I could have gone and watched the Warriors game or a movie or something like that, but how often do we have you guys up in the Bay Area? Oh, wow. That was sincere. Hell yeah, Boston fan. Everyone hates him in the audience. He's been obnoxious the whole time.

Thank you. That's very, very nice of you to say it. It's very nice, Melissa. The first I thought you were talking yourself into coming tonight. You're like, you know, I was good at up-show. No, I've been looking forward to this for a while. Oh, you're awesome. Thank you. So my question for you guys is,

what's the most memorable article of clothing that you have ruined with food? Wow. That's a follow-up question. Every piece of clothing I've ever owned. You guys are awesome and it's so great you came up here. Anyways, what was the worst time you shit yourself

and ruined your pants? What was the last time somebody fell out of love with you because of your body and your shit? I think I got nacho cheese on a track jacket and the stain never came out.

And the worst part is he was running a race. This was actually, you know what, Mitch? I think this was at the Force Awakens. I think I was wearing an old Nike track jacket I had and I got nacho cheese on the sleeve and then the stain just never came out.

What a horrible knife. I'm trying to think of like one that I got really ruined. Look, all the time when I come back from when I come back from the movies like I'll hold my shirt up and it's like see-through because I'm eating popcorn and it's falling on my stomach

and it's covered in butter. Yeah. So I guess any time I go to the movies I ruin a shirt that I like. Yeah. Except for this is the old standby that I've worn for ten years now that's holding on for dear life. You want a mileage out of that flannel?

I certainly have. I feel like I dropped my hat and chowder. Ah, my hat! That would be funny. And then the order went out to somebody else and they're like, oh no! A hat? A hat?

I can't think of a specific one. Every time I buy a new piece of clothing that I'm excited about it will get a grease stain on it within a week. Every single fucking time. You gotta use dish soap. Dang. My dad, one time my mom

and he got really mad. She put the syrup cap on top of the syrup and he shook it and it came out all over the place. Oh boy. Which also, why was he shaking the syrup? Yeah, that seems like his fault. I should have asked him that before he went.

One last question, father. My son's cunt tastes like shit. Oh, hold on a second. No, no, no, no, no. That's not why I wanted to taste good. Dear God. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. I'm not saying he tasted it.

He's mad. He's mad because he's hurt. Someone else told him that it tasted bad. You're no son of mine. Someone outside the family. Tonight's show has come to you from the Palace of Fine Arts Theatre. And folks, that's our show. Mookie Blakelock.

Our production team, Emma and Amelia. Thank you, guys. Until next time, with the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. Thanks, guys. Thanks for coming out. Thank you. And you know they can never be right. The fat boys are bad.

Do you like to look like boys? Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.