Doughboys - Ezell's with Toni Charline Ramos (LIVE)

Episode Date: February 13, 2020

Toni Charline Ramos joins the 'boys to review Seattle fried chicken institution Ezell's. Plus a brand new segment. Recorded live at the Neptune Theatre.Sources for this week's intro:Garfield High School Through the Yearshttps://www.seattlepi.com/seattlenews/article/Garfield-High-School-through-the-years-12267976.phpSeattle Public Schools: 1862-2000: Garfield High Schoolhttps://historylink.org/File/10509A President Felled by an Assassin and 1880’s Medical Carehttps://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/25/health/25garf.html?ex=1311480000&en=82dc6ab325dafec6&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rssStep Inside the Shop Making Oprah's Favorite Fried Chicken https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/8qebyk/step-inside-the-shop-making-oprahs-favorite-fried-chickenEzell's feeds the community more than just chickenhttp://o.seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2003554579_ezells03m.htmlThe Most Life-Changing Fried Chicken in America Is...https://www.esquire.com/food-drink/food/recipes/a14839/ezells-fried-chicken-winner-071112/Ezell’s Websitehttps://ezellschicken.com/about-us/Really, Really Good Fried Chickenhttps://www.thestranger.com/seattle/really-really-good-fried-chicken/Content?oid=4684303Let’s Eat, Macklemore & Ryan Lewishttps://genius.com/Macklemore-and-ryan-lewis-lets-eat-lyricsWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Quincy Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Macklemore. What do these three musicians have in common, aside from being equally influential? They're all alumni of Garfield High School, an academically esteemed and ethnically diverse campus located in the urban central district of Seattle, Washington. Opened in 1923, the high school takes its name not from the Sardonic Cartoon Cat, but from James Garfield, the U.S. president who was shot and died a slow, agonizing death over the course of 79 days, during which inept physicians force-fed him rectally.

And it was across the street from Garfield High where, in 1984, two longtime friends, Azelle Stevens and Louis Rudd, opened a fried chicken restaurant intended for the more traditional oral method of consumption. The eatery scrumptious breaded bird based off a recipe from Rudd's native Texas is never frozen, fat-trimmed, double-battered, and cooked in 100% vegetable oil. The quick hit with locals. In 1994, the eatery began expanding, eventually growing to its current 15 locations. Its fried chicken became a favorite of Oprah Winfrey.

Oh, Jesus. She even has it flown into Chicago, a city which is no slouch when it comes to crispy skinned fowl. You fucking door-quagger. And it's not just the big O. The family-owned chain was recently proclaimed by Esquire Magazine to be the best fried chicken in America. So it turns out Seattleites and Americans at large agree with Garfield High alum, Macklemore, as quoted on his single, Let's Eat.

Fuck it, man. I love fried shit. This week on Doughboys, Azelle's famous chicken. What's up, Seattle? Welcome to Doughboys. Oh, yeah. I like this. Turn this into a one-man show, maybe.

Weigher and I have not merged. He's on his way to the theater right now. He was detained for, they suspected that he had coronavirus, so he's going to be here shortly. How's everybody doing out there tonight? Thanks for coming out to the show. Oh, Jesus. I'm having a good time.

Oh, fuck. It does feel like Garth when he was alone on the show. I really don't know what to do. Nirvana, am I right, everybody? Frazier. You guys get a lot of shit for your town. It's like a depressed town. Then I flew into dark gray, and our lift driver was like, I haven't seen the sun.

The sun came on. I was like, I haven't seen it in days. It's fucked up. You guys lived up a fucked up area of the world. All right. This week's roast. This week's roast is courtesy of Sean Hixon, the man who puts the micro and the soft in Microsoft, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

Actually, we should play the whole song. Oh, boy. I'm texting him right now. Oh, God, please come to the show. I'm bombing. Uh-oh. He's, no, I'm not doing the lettuce wrap. FaceTime him?

That is kind of funny. Let's see if he picks up. Here we go. I have just you guys up. Oh, I should show you guys him. Hey, Wigs. Say it again. What's happening?

Uh, you need to get here right now, man. I'm nine minutes away. That's too long. You'll be fine. Get the guest out there. You'll be fine. Shut the fuck up. Get to the show, you late piece of shit.

All right, goodbye. This is hard. It's a hard job. You know what? Maybe I'll be nicer to him. Uh, guys, Emma, should I hit him with a drop? Play that sweet, sweet drop. How did I do this alone?

Crinkle Cut Fries. Crinkle Cut Fries. Crinkle Cut Fries. Crinkle Cut Fries. I don't like fries. All right, that's done. Hey, Mitch, here's a new drop I made. Thanks to Stephanie on the Facebook group

for the inspiration seat tonight. Robert Persinger. The Drop King himself. And it's his birthday today. Where is he? Robert! It's great to see you in person. So I can tell you face to face.

Fuck off, you piece of shit. All right. Thank you, Robert. Happy birthday, buddy. That's you coming to Doe Boys on your birthday is the most depressing thing that's ever happened in Seattle. All right. I'm going to introduce my guest.

She's the best in the world. Give it up for the very funny Tony Charlene Ramos. I don't have your intro. That's the intro. Really? Yeah, that's the intro. Hi, everyone. Thank you.

Oh my gosh, what a great audience. So we're fucked. Why are you guys not here? I told him. I knew this would happen. He had work today. And I agree. And so he had a work today.

I can't even talk about what he's working on. It's a New Star War show. Cool. It's a The Baby Watto show. I don't know what that means. And he left. His flight got delayed. And he got in basically at 9.51.

And so we've just been sitting up there. And I've been telling Tony that my stomach hurts for the last 45 minutes. You've been saying that for the past few days. It does. It does hurt. Yeah. How are you, Tony?

I'm good. Thank you. The chair turns you into a fucking loser. Me? No, me. You're great. You're in the niche chair, baby. Ooh.

That's party-central. Oh, hachimache. I feel dumb as fuck. All right. It's great. Why groovy? Here, you're fine. You are from the Seattle area.

Yeah. I went to school in Spanaway. She's the one. Some people yell out, no. And they're very fair, too. Why? At Bethel High School. Yeah.

I lived in Graham. Address, address, address. I forget. I went to the Puyallup Fair. My parents live in Tacoma. And they're here tonight. Mom? She stood us up.

No, I knew they weren't coming. I talked them out of coming, actually. Was this section for your whole family, this big, empty section? No, it was not. But also, what is up with that? I don't know. The ex-stowboys numbers are not looking good. Why are you going to blame this on me?

Actually, when you did the show alone, actually, the numbers went down big time, buddy. I mean, not wrong. But I was only here sixth grade through sophomore year. All right. Yeah, and first grade. Get the fuck out of this city. No offense. And the Uber for when that guy said that, like, I haven't seen the sun.

Run when the sun came through the clouds. Yeah, I lived it. It truly is remarkable when that happens. Sure. Really? It rains that much? Yeah. What the fuck?

What a depressing little town. We're drinking Shilling Hard Siders, Emerald City. And they're from Taylor or at Vulgar Lasagna, who's also here. That's for those siters. Oh, nice. Oh, right there. I'm drinking a Journey Martini. I think that we should do a snack segment before the show even starts.

What do you guys think of that? Oh, great. Hell yeah. Let's do it. Chocolate? Yeah. We don't need the theme music, but it's snack or whack. Emma!

An early snack or whack. Look how cool it is. Don't worry. We'll do another one. Relax, everyone. Don't worry. Jesus, man. So my friend, Adria, works at a chocolate factory, much like Willie Wonka.

And she works, hold on. She works at Theo Chocolate. Do you guys remember Theo Chocolate? Ian is also from Theo Chocolate, who's here tonight, and her sister-in-law, Jen. What's up, Ian? How you doing? We got some Theo Chocolate in bags here, but she said, don't worry about the presentation because it's very good.

And we got some France Chocolate as well. Oh. So these are... Oh, not as big as a reaction for France. I know. More about Theo. All right. Oh, these are so cute.

So we got some of these gray salt caramel. What is gray salt? Oh, gross. Yeah, it sounds older salt. And then we got some Theo Chocolate here, too, some dark chocolate. We got a lot of chocolate to taste. All right. And more...

Here's more chocolate. Oh, my God. I'm so nervous. Jesus Christ. How the fuck is this happening? The bags rolling off the table? How did you ever do anything on stage? I don't know.

You think it's just the last minute they switched up shit on me? I didn't know what the fuck to do. Truly, your only training is to let... Improvise. Yeah. I have no other skills. You really don't. You really don't.

I'm a loser. I can't even do this right. I fucking suck. No, you're not a loser. I'm gonna jump off the fucking space needle. Yeah! Is that how Frazier ended? As far as I know, yeah.

You're not a loser, but what did you do this past week? Who, me? Yeah. My mother came to town. She said to me, no peeking more than once. And we cleaned out my apartment at age 37. Thank you. Are you getting right into them?

Yeah. I thought they were... All right, fine. I'm opening up one of Fran's Smoked... What are we supposed to do? I got some smoked salt caramel coming right now. Oh, okay. I have Theo's dark salted caramels.

All right. Oh, caramels. That's how you say it. Yeah. Caramel. Oh, baby. Those are pretty good. Theo, cherry, bourbon, caramels.

Who is Theo? Andrea, who is Theo? Oh, the tree. All right. Oh, tree chocolate? Cool. The fucking tree chocolate fucking whack. Wait, so this is snack or whack?

No, I mean, that's a good point. My friend brought these candies from the place she works at. And we're gonna rank them snack or whack. I mean, it's... Yeah, they're all gonna be a snack. If you snack on chocolate, Jesus Christ. I'm about to... Boo, I can't do this.

I'm losing my mind. I can't open the fucking Fran package. You piece of shit. Hi. What is this configuration? The guest that you... Tony, you got... You should sit in the middle.

That's what we usually do. I asked him and he said... I had to take over your spot. I didn't know what to do. I give you one second. I'm gonna get my laptop out. How's everybody doing? I see Addle.

Oh, I do everything right. How are your chocolates? You can take your seat back. Wait, Mitch, don't you have a little something for Weigur? A little roast? Mitch is walking over to his mic. All right, everybody. It kind of ruined it by him running out here like a fucking madman.

Oh, now you don't want him. Please welcome my co-host... Ho-coast? Got him. What's happening here? A less personable fleshlight, Nick Weigur. I don't think I've ever given anyone as much sexual gratification as a fleshlight. These things are workhorses.

Guys, so I don't... How much... Did you explain the situation? Did you explain why I'm so... Not really. I was just scared the whole time. So what happened today is I am working on this... A TV pilot and today is the day we shot the pilot so I could not get out of work.

They just basically like you couldn't get out of work. I told them it was what it was. Baby wato. I'm on baby wato. Baby Yoda was such a sensation that they're just like, I can do all Star Wars babies now. It's great. It's very cute.

Vaguely anti-Semitic, yeah? But that's part of the charm. You're going to get a good crowd with that though. It's going to work out. Yeah, people are going to love it. So anyway, so as a result, I had to get on a flight, like as soon as my work ended, I had to just hop in an Uber,

fucking hour the airport and then I had to get on my flight and I would have barely made it except for the... My flight got delayed. So that ended up... I ended up landing an hour later than it was supposed to land, which it's frankly my fault for my choice of airline. I didn't tell you this bitch, but I took a private plane. And how?

So the issue is a lot of celebrities are flying on this plane. And so it's, you know, I thought they'd be... Everyone would be cool, but no. Malcolm Gladwell's up in the cockpit. He's talking the pilots ear off, asking if he's had 10,000 hours of flight school. Matt Groening took his shoes and socks off, stunk up the whole cabin.

I mean, Mike Bloomberg's there. He needed a phone book to sit on. How's old Billy Boy? So here's the thing, Clinton refused to stow his tenor sax in the overhead compartment. And we're like, Bill, what are you doing? You know how flights work. Haven't you been on planes before?

He was being real stubborn. This is the Arsenio sax. President Clinton, that's the sax you've played on the Arsenio. That's right. That's very impressive. That should be in the Smithsonian. I keep it by my side at old times, baby. Oh, so you always kind of carry it with you.

You know, I've heard that same thing about Kenny G. He kind of has his soprano sax with him at all times. It's kind of like a security blanket. When me and Monica did the dirty, I played this bad boy. And when I came, I did a low hoop, a baritone G. Hmm. You're cool as hell.

I gotta tell y'all, I love these Theo. I tried all the Theo's so far. Are we reading these Franz and Theo's? You guys know Franz and Theo's out here? There's Theo Milk Salted Caramels. Oh, Caramels. Sorry, I don't know how to say it. Theo Dark Salted Caramels.

Caramels and Theo Ghost Chili Caramels, which are very spicy-wise. You're a heat seeker like I know you are. You like those. I don't think they're fair. What are these ones called? The Cherry ones. The Cherry Bourbon Caramels.

They have little hearts. They're cute. Caramels. Caramels. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I was saying, I was thinking. Let me tell you this.

So this one has a little bit of that salt on top of, which I'm sure you've discussed. I love that. That's just a treat. When you get salty and sweet together, it really works for me. I can't believe that you do better than me. It's heartbreaking.

I would love the top salt on these chocolates. Tony, I know you're someone who likes to inhale marijuana. Do you have a sweet treat? Her mom was maybe here tonight. Oh, I apologize. My parents. My parents get high. Hell yeah.

Do you like a sweet treat when you get the munchies? I generally am more of a salty gal. Got it. I would rather go for a bowl of top ramen versus ice cream. But if I could have them both, I would. Or I eat them both. Top ramen. Oh, for sure.

Interesting. If you're a stone, that seems like such a to-do. It seems like a lot. Such a to-do. You have to heat water. It is a to-do, but you know, if you get to the kitchen, you're like, all right, I have an activity. I'm doing it.

Yeah. Or like a burrito or like a slice of pizza, something like that. But I like both. But if I had to choose, I would say more savory versus sweet. Got it. So I had this one, this brand, smoked salt caramel. What else should I try? You should try it.

I really like theos. Okay, let's try the theos. The theo caramel. These are my friend, Andrea, who you know. And then also, I've tried, so I've tried all of them. They're all snacks. I mean, yeah, if that's what we're doing, of course, they're all snacks. I rank them all snacks.

But I go with theos. I think theos are better. I'm not just saying that because she's my friend. Wow. This one shaped like a heart. It's very sweet. Yeah, kind of like a, you know, your life meter in a Zelda game. And this is a...

That's what you're asking the wizard for at some point. Yeah, you would love it if you could get some more heart containers. I'm gonna take a little... What? I'm saying that's what you're asking the wizard for, like you're the Tin Man. Oh. Are you switch franchises? You didn't get my reference from a 1930s movie?

No, sorry. Not timely enough for you, eh? Weigur, have we done an update on your smoking pot? Are you... Are you... Can you do it now? There was an incident. I know.

What? I'll finish doing this and I'll... Okay. Detail the incident. There was an incident? There was an incident. I got high. Do you smoke?

No, it gets me... I mean, you saw me. I just broke down with nothing. I know. I know, but it's not. It's not. Like, when's the last time you got high? It's not that...

The last time I got high was probably like seven years ago now. What? Really? That's right. Straight edge, baby. Really? Like all the great Seattle bands. I'm straight edge. Nice.

So, here's what happened. I got myself... It was using the vape for a while and the vape was doing me right. Because it told you when to stop. Yeah, it was very easy for me to follow the... Because the thing about marijuana is it's too complicated, but a vape I could wrap my head around. Oh, boy.

However... Also, did you guys bring your pillows tonight? It is a late start. And then we... But then I got... I read all the stare stuff about vape circling you and you're inhaling fiberglass or whatever. I'm gonna have the fucking honeycomb lung

or whatever that horrific ailment is. Popcorn lung? Popcorn lung. That's what it is. Both of them sound pretty... Yeah, sounds delicious. I would love it. And so, I got scared off of the vape.

I put my vape away and I bought some edibles, as one does. Nice. So... I love an edible. Here's the thing about edibles. The amount that you're supposed to take... This is how you turn into a John Wayne Gacy. It's true.

The amount that you're supposed to take does not necessarily correspond with how you would consume a normal, non-edible type, like a normal food. Right. I'm not gonna eat a whole cookie versus... Well, see, you know that. Okay. But...

So, I got these edible tablets that I was just like, okay, this is like a pill. I'll pop it like I'm having a melatonin. Yeah. The least fun edible is the one you got. You got, like, Advil edibles. Do you have any microchips?

Just the tablets. I didn't want any superfluous cows, so I was just like, I can have these. These dissolve in my tongue like a vitamin. And I took one that I was like, okay, I'll take one pill, and it was 25 milligrams, which I guess is a fair amount.

Oh, my... So... So, I forgot how to breathe. And I basically... Hey, Natalie. Yeah, Nick, what's up? I'm the angel of death, buddy. And then he took the edible.

Interesting. So, she was witness to this, and I was basically... She was a real trooper, but I basically spent four hours pacing through our apartment just doing like a loose loop, like a NASCAR-style loop of our living room and bedroom.

500 times? Yeah. I mean, I might have done the equivalent of a NASCAR race, and I did that, and I fucking... Just like until I gradually got so tired, I fell asleep,

but I felt like I just looked... My chest was just caved in. I was like so anxious. It was like the worst panic attack I've ever had. Did you have to do anything the next day? Were you... Oh, my gosh. What was...

I... I think the next day was Thanksgiving? Jesus. Yeah, it was rough. It was a bad end, so after that, I got scared off and I haven't touched the stuff yet. This is how it always would end.

I told you this, that this is how it would end. You are a dork, my friend. You stay away from stuff like that. You got a lot of power right now, Mitch. Yeah, I know. I feel a lot better. Yeah, okay. You don't make Garf go out on stage by himself, Lager.

It was truly a meltdown moment. It was truly a meltdown moment. Dave Ferguson. Yes. He had weed-listerine strips, and they melted together. Oh, boy. Yeah.

And he took them and he was like, guys, a little situation here. I'm going to the hospital. And I think he went to the hospital with Katie, his now wife. Wow. Girlfriend of the time. And dude, what?

It was like I'm real high? I think so. That's the worst place to be if you're high. That's awful. Jesus. Anyways. Yeah. You two cool dudes.

At least you did the, that's like you did like the old school walking room where you like walk in circles. Yeah. I think they should bring those back. That's kind of cool. I don't mind pacing. Yeah.

We'll pace. I wanted to talk about something before we get into this week's chain, which is one to discuss. Wait, you're going to taste, oh, you're going to eat your food. I'm going to taste everything. He hasn't eaten his food, everybody. I haven't eaten the food yet.

I want to hear from the airport. I got everything in this bag. Emma secured it for me. She's a trooper. I also want to say that I read your intro and I promised everyone I would not look at it before I read it. I just went in cold and fucked it up a bunch. Yeah, it was good.

I'm sure you did great. You did great, didn't you? Thanks dad. How many of you, how many of you thought he sucked? Motherfuckers. Oh. Idaho to Seattle.

You didn't play your drop yet? We did play the drop. I panicked and was like, Emma, drop like after three seconds. I had nothing else to say. It was a good job. Did you try all the chocolates? We're going to get to the bottom of this snack and whack. See what you're going to say.

The ones I've had, I think are delightful. I think in the interest of time, I think we should move on, but I did want to talk real quick before we talk about this week's chain. I'll munch on some more as the show progresses, but I'm going to say this. Before we get into this week's chain, last time we were in Seattle, we went to Dick's Drive-In, which...

We should have gone again. Was very well received by you and me and Evan Susser. Loved it. Loved Dick's Drive-In. Delightful. Tony, have you been there before? I don't know. No, I have not.

Okay. She's vegetarian. She's vegan, everyone. Leave her alone. I haven't. I'm still a person. I just haven't been to Dick's. I'm sorry.

I'll go. Are you happy now? You made her guess sad. I mean, that's fair. You know what? Sure. Yeah, that's fair. I will say that you probably would have even more trouble finding

something to eat at Dick's than you did at this week's chain, which we're reviewing, which is Izzelle's famous chicken. Now, my understanding is that the man who founded Izzelle, Izzelle himself, he split up with the co-founder Lewis Rudd and opened his own fried chicken place called Heaven Sent. Do people like Heaven Sent? Wow. Are there some people who like Heaven Sent over Izzelle's?

Wow. They're the same. They're the same, man. And speaking of the fact that you are a vegetarian and you're reviewing this chain with us, which we just did not think through. Yes, we did. I said Tony is a vegan.

Yeah. And I said, we should probably do taco time. I'm like, I really want some fried chicken, buddy. Hold on. We placed it to, first off, I brought up that she was vegetarian. Then we placed it to Tony. And said, hey, we have these two options. What do you think?

Tony, very cool. I'm down with whatever. I can find stuff to eat at either place. I said, I think Izzelle's got more of a response on her social media. More people seem to want to go to Izzelle's. So if Tony's neutral on it, I'd say we go there. Mitch, you said, I'm cool with whatever. I just want Tony to be happy.

You didn't make it. You didn't cast a vote. We kind of both decided. I was like, does the audience want one or the other? What are we doing here? Let's figure it out. We both agreed. And then Mitch later was like, well, whatever.

I don't know. I didn't say anything for a long time. I also have chocolate on my fist. I'm not sure if it's from the candies or I'm just sweating it out. Kind of an evergreen statement for Mitch. I get chocolate on my fist. So we've got, but speaking of being a poor choice of vegetarians, I looked up a bunch of different reviews of this chain

and one of them from the Everett Herald, which I guess is an Everett Washington, the sum up said, hey, some Everett people, some Everett heads. How's it going? Specialty fried chicken, vegetarian options, no. Just a flat no. I'm generally vegan. And then I looked it up and I was like, all right,

I'll be vegetarian for the day. It was very tough to get. It was fine. I ordered a bunch of sides. It was great. Or who knows? I don't know. It was easy.

It wasn't that everybody's, there was only one thing that you guys ate that was, or there's only one part of it that I couldn't eat. It's fine. The chicken, yes. Yeah. What's in the name, but that's fine. I'm excited for you to try it.

So I just opened up the, this red. We got like a pizza delivery. It's red pizza delivery thing, which I believe the venue gave us that was holding this and just like a fried chicken like wind just kind of came out of it. Just this waft of like, like deep fried odor. It's very, very. You know what's going to happen.

Some fat guys are going to float up on stage. Which means with our audience, that there might be the whole crew. You just come float. I'm going to float from here over to your seat. All right, look at that. While I'm doing this, I'm going to try to eat off Mike as much as possible

and I'm just going to take some nibbles here. I want you guys to talk a little bit about your experience at EZels. You went earlier today. We weren't earlier today. We flew in at a reasonable time. We don't have jobs. So it was quite easy for us. Hi, Tony.

I dropped mother off at the airport. That's true. We went to the airport together. Be honest, have you kissed your mom? Of course I've kissed my mom. Do you still kiss your mom on the lips? She's always like, she'll always do this and point to her cheek.

Like she wants a kiss on the cheek. But answer the question. Yes, I still kiss my mom on the cheek. On the lips. No, I don't kiss her on the lips. Do you want to? Unless it's... Be honest.

I only kiss her on the lips if we've both had a few drinks. No, we mostly, we watch, we watch Date Line together and my mom is like, that man's shorter than you think he is. That's all it is. Like she's commenting on these murderers.

She gets lies. She's like, he's not as tall as I thought he would be. That's all it is. It's her commenting on Date Line murder men. And what are your comments on Date Line murder men? I'm just sitting there silently being like, don't kiss her on the lips. Don't kiss her on the lips.

Is there anybody who still kisses their parents on the lips? Hell yeah, be proud. Hashtag, kiss mommy and daddy. Weigert, have you ever kissed your mom or dad just even on the cheek? Yeah, we did some kissing. When we were younger, when I was a boy, when I was a little boy.

Swinging in the 60s. If you think about it, there is a day where you're like, that's the, for some of us, that's the last time I've kissed my parents on the lips. And you don't know it. That is a good point. There was a time.

There's just one moment where it's like, well, I'm done doing that. You're right. You know what? I'll get in one last kiss before it's all said and done. You better do it fast. Now, Wally and Irma, their chips are fucking chapped

from how much kiss I do to them. Do your cats kiss you on the lips? Yeah, I'll put out my lips to Wally. Sometimes he'll go in for a kiss. Nice. Do you sometimes put stuff on your lips so they will kiss you more? Yes, I put tuna around my lips.

No! I'm not a monster. I don't know if that's a monster thing. I kiss both Wally and Irma. Irma will sometimes move her head away. And I'll be like, sit down here and I'll kiss her. Get her lips, kiss her on the lips. Get her lips, kiss her on the lips.

And sometimes I'll kiss her. Sometimes with a ball I'll be like, multiple kisses. Yeah. Like peppy lapieu. Yeah, I have dogs and I do that too. Although they're very willing. Yeah, dogs will stick their tongue in your mouth.

Absolutely. See, Wally and Irma and I, there's no tongue exchange. Yeah, it's rough. Except sometimes I'll kiss them on the lips and I'll feel their teeth, which is kind of strange. See, we could have done this show without you.

This is great. This is gold. I have had... I've started inside this country. So I had some of the mac and cheese, the heritage mac and cheese. I had some of the barbecue beans and then I had what they call the cream slaw, which I love.

Oh, shit, that's important. Well, as a... Send it this way, my friend. Yeah, have some. I like that cream is like the central element of the slaw. Are we all eating off that spoon? I mean, you don't have to. What is Seattle?

I'm fine with it. I'm just... I don't care. What is Seattle's deal? What is your guy... What the fuck do you mean? What's our... What do you mean? What do you mean?

Oh, cool slaw, freaks. No, I'm trying to say what their deal is. What do you want? They're like the quiet kid in the lunchroom. Are they cool? Are they gonna shoot us? I don't know what the deal is. We might do both.

They might do both. Sure. Mitch is workshopping his new character Grunge Seinfeld. Seattle's a confused... I like the city a lot. What are you confused by? They throw fish. That's a thing that they do.

Oh, yeah. It rains. A lot of great musicians from here. What are you... Weiger, it's a great city to kill yourself in. Those all go together to me. I don't understand what you're confused by. I know, I just...

Lack of racism? Oh, no. Yeah, what's the deal? My fight attendant's name was Kramer today. Whoa! I thought it was very interesting. What does that have to do with... You said racism, yeah, and Seinfeld.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. You're right. You're right, you're right. Weiger, what the fuck? People are watching you eat. You have more chocolate. Jesus Christ. I have chocolate again.

You have more chocolate. Suck it up, all these. How am I getting chocolate all over myself? You're a little freak. I like Seattle. Seattle's a cool, ass city. That's what I'm trying to say. That's what you're trying to say?

No, it's not. You want that, you want the audience. It is true. No. Fuck Chicago. Fuck fucking... You don't have to fuck another place... Yeah, yeah, you do.

You gotta put a place down to bring a place up. No. Fuck LA. Fuck LA. Oh, I would fuck LA all day. I love LA. That's sick. Are you supposed to do...

I love... Do you love LA? Yeah, I like it all right. It's fine. I'll die there. We will. Are you supposed to do anything with the dinner roll? Or you just eat it as it is?

That's... Are you supposed to... There's no butter, right? Yeah. You're doing something. You, sir, I'm looking at... You tell me. You're the answer.

Sponge up the gravy. Sponge up the gravy, okay. Sponge up the gravy. Do we agree with that? That sounds right. I will say, because this has a very... It's almost... Not exactly like this, but it's like a...

What's the thing I'm thinking of the fucking... Sponge? Dinner roll? Sponge. That's the word I was looking for. It's like a Yorkshire pudding, kind of, but with a softer texture. It's like that same sort of form factor. But more delicate.

I love it. It's like a delicious piece of Wonder Bread. The texture is great. I also had myself some gizzards, which people said were must haves here. The gizzards were delightful. That was a really nice execution of it. What's the thing of that creamy slaw?

Cream slaw, I'm sorry, Mitch. I got slaw on my... Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. It's very good. I like it a lot. That's very good. The texture of the gizzards is very...

It's got that great contrast of the crispiness on the outside and then just that kind of like... It's not gum-like, but it's just like a moist... I knew it wasn't that when I said it. It's disgusting. It's not gum-like. Then why say it? It's a softer, almost like a sort of pate you bite into.

I mean, it's fucking great. I loved it. You're trying to say something appetizing. You said meat gum, basically. I said meat gum. Don't act like you wouldn't eat it. Would you guys chew meat gum? I don't know if I would do meat gum.

First of all, it would look like too much of like a fatty thing. If I wanted to 7-Eleven, I was like, pack of meat gum, please. It's already on the counter for you. There you go, buddy. I put it in a paper bag so no one has to see it. Here's your meat gum and your copy of Gape Magazine. Is that a real magazine?

I've seen all these holes. That's me looking at it. Will you hand me that other cider that's near Weiger? Yes. That was a tongue twister. Okay, so let's get into your guys' meal a little bit. What size did you guys get? That's something.

We'll get into it right now. Get into it. We ordered a lot. We ordered $90 worth of food. Jesus! For me, Tony and Emma. All right. We got...

Uh-oh, we're the... We're the... Oh, okay, here we go. I got it. Jesus Christ. Thank you to Sean, by the way, who took our order. He was great. Oh, he was so great. We got an 8-piece with jumbo mac and jumbo mashed.

Half and half. Half spicy, half regular. We got... Then a regular mac and cheese. And then we got also a regular mashed potatoes. No gravy. One regular beans. One regular potato salad.

Half pound fried okra. Spicy. Two bowls, peach cobbler. Two slices, sweet potato pie. Large Cajun fries. Half pound buff chicken tenders. Three honeys, three ranches, three hot sauces. Two honey mustards, and three blue cheeses.

And a grape crush for me, which was delicious. So let's start in size country. What did you think of all those? I'll say that the beans that I had, which I believe you guys also got, unless I misheard you, they have like a great... You know, they're not... They're sweet, but they're not overly sweet, which is always the thing I feel like with...

Sometimes with a baked bean, the barbecue beans, it just got like that punishing sweetness. And that's not the case with these. I like them. They get a great hickoriness to them. Yeah, but... I'm gonna spice, too. I enjoyed the beans.

Good beans? You said everything about the beans. I like the beans. Good beans. The beans were great. The beans, I think, have like a pork base to them, so I didn't have it. No, you don't have to be sorry.

I didn't try them. But they were very tasty. You were kind of a little bit... A thicker bean, a thicker sauce. It was a thicker bean. Big, thicker bean sauce, not the bean itself. Stop making fun of me. I just said nothing.

The mashed potatoes, I thought, were great. That was one of my favorite sides. Yeah, I really liked the mashed... Do you have them right now? No, I feel like that's the thing I whipped on order-wise. I did not get the mashed... You totally whipped on that. How do you not get the mashed potatoes?

Yeah, boo him, rightfully so. I love it. I relish your booze. I wish you were playing mine now. Mayor Pete 2020. Yeah, bring it on. I told them that you got detained for coronavirus. And then I had this whole bit where I was going to put on this medical mask.

How'd you get that medical mask, Mitch? That's interesting. Oh, my God. It doesn't really fit around my head. Yeah, Jesus. Like a little baby, it's a very physical comedy routine as Mitch tries to keep on a hat and put on the mask. Jesus Christ.

I'm going to fall backwards at my door. Everyone who's listening to this just missed a master class in unintentional physical comedy. And it's still halfway on after all that. Didn't your mommy give that to you? Mother gave it to me. Before she flew, was she wearing one? She was like, you can't get coronavirus

and she gave it to me on the way out. And then you guys kissed. I kissed her on the lips, but my mask was on. That mask on your face is like trying to stretch a beacup bra over the front of an airliner. Nick loves it. He loves his joke. Lord knows you've tried that, you sick fuck.

Beacup bra. I know boobs. That's right. Great. The mashed potatoes were great. I didn't have them with a gravy. I know, I suck. But I thought they were really good.

We were talking about this earlier. If any of this food gets cold for a second, it goes down real fast. Jesus Christ, Mitch. Sorry. But the mashed potatoes were great. The mac and cheese, here's the thing. I love a Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Everybody does, right? Or a lot of people. It's hard to get a good mac and cheese outside of that for me. Even when people are like, oh, Thanksgiving, try mac and cheese, and it's like, don't bother. But I felt like this mac and cheese, I was like, well, I really liked. You liked it.

I was, dare I say, blown away by it. Wow. And I went back for it, got cold, I was still there. Yeah. I liked it. I really liked it. It wasn't too soupy. I feel like you could taste the cheese,

and I feel like sometimes you'll get that mac and cheese, and it doesn't taste cheesy enough. You know what I'm saying, Wags? Oh, it's got a great cheesiness to it, and the texture is great. I mean, it's just like, yeah, the elbow macaroni is not overcooked, or not overcooked, rather,

and just like, yeah, the cheese flavor is intense. I will say that unfortunately, because I consider myself a creamsman, I would like to be a partisan of the creamslaw, but that, I think, is my low light of the three sides that I had. Wow. It's a good execution of it, but Contra, what you were saying about the mac and cheese,

it is very soupy. This is one that's basically like, it's basically like cabbage with cereal milk in it. It's just like, Jesus. Oh, that sounds great. Now I don't like it, too. What the fuck? And it's also very sweet, a little bit more.

I'm not sure if this would be my top choice if I was gonna get another side for me. But do you like coleslaw? I love coleslaw. Oh. I've come back around to coleslaw. Oh, okay. I had a period in the wilderness

where I wasn't eating any coleslaw, and then I just basically was like, you know what, I think I like this stuff again, and started ordering it some more, and it's great. It's a nice, you know, less heavy side if you're gonna have a sandwich or something. I'm gonna just say it,

I'm gonna put it out there right now for everyone. Uh-oh. Before we get to it. There we go. But we still got a little ways to go, don't worry. Or maybe you'd be happy if this is over quicker. I'm not sure if this is Golden Play Club or not for me. It's a very close...

Are we choosing? No, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm putting it out there right now. I've been thinking about it, and I don't know if it is, but we should get to the chicken, and I'm gonna explain why. Yeah, you're saying this before we've gotten

to the piste resistance, the famous part of the Zells. Which Tony could not have. I did not partake. Well, we should talk about, also, we should talk about the okra. We got spicy fried okra. Yeah, talk about the okra.

Yeah, okra. We got okra, and what was his name? James. Sean. Sean. Sean said, get the fried okra, get it spicy,

and dip it in blue cheese. And I said, ok. Easy. That blue cheese was great. The homemade blue cheese is rules. Yeah. He was like, our blue cheese isn't homemade,

and it's good. Oh, it is homemade? That's what they were saying, yeah. Oh, it was great. I thought he was just, ok, that was great. Yeah, yeah. That was a highlight.

The okra was, I would say good. Yeah. It was fine. We did, because this was an outside one where you ordered and then eat somewhere else. We did not know that going up. There was no, it was just a window.

Yeah. And there was a bar across the street where you could eat it at. Al's or something? What was that bar? Al's. And we didn't go there because I was too embarrassed to unload $90 worth of food on their table.

It was a lot. And get one drink. So we didn't go in there. We ate at the hotel. Right. And okra probably travels, I can't believe it. It travels.

Oprah's ship in okra, down to herself in LA. Chicago. Oh, it's in Chicago. Ok. Isn't that where she had it shipped? You read it. Oh, I don't know.

I forget what it was. The thing I read said Chicago, but I'm sure she has a residence in LA. Ok. Sure. But I thought it kept as far as like it wasn't too mushy. It had a great texture to it. I like a fried veggie dipping it in that blue cheese.

It was almost just a spoon to get blue cheese into my mouth. That's what most things are for me. Including actual spoons. Yeah. But it was good. I don't know. What do you think? I liked it.

At first I didn't love it but then I turned on it and I enjoyed it. Okra is strange. It's slimy. It's a slimy vegetable. It can be slimy. Yeah. If you don't do it well, I feel like.

I like okra. I will say like I've had it more, times I've had it like stewed, like an Indian preparation, but I kind of like it a little bit more than the deep fried bridal you'll run into a lot of times. But I do like an okra. It can be slimy.

You're absolutely right. Let's talk about the chicken a little bit. Ok. So I got the two-piece spicy. Wow. Because I am something of a heat seeker. And the. This has a good,

this has a good spice level to it. It's not like super hot. It's more just sort of like, it's like ooh, it's not like, it's not like ooh, you know. It's just like a little, it's like a little tingle. It's like a little sizzle.

Oh. So it's like ooh, and not like ooh. Yeah. It's like a, it's not a, it's not a flamethrower. It's just like a little,

you know, it's a little tingle in there. Ok. But it's good. The texture of the, the breading is fantastic. The chicken is really well cooked and moist. I just. That's, that's,

that's what I, the thing I loved the most about it was the breading. The breading is fantastic. My piece was kind of fatty. It was kind of. They're supposed to trim the fat. That's one of the things, the things they do in this way.

It was a little bit fatty. You saw it. It was a little bit fat. It was a fatty piece, folks. I don't know if they saw the fatty, gave him fatty. Some sort of bullshit like that. But it was a little bit fatty, Nick.

Is that the end of the world though? No, it's not. It's okay. It was, it was, it was the breast was fatty. And then the drumsticks, the breast was fatty. I'm not going to say the breast was fatty

and over and over again, but the breast was fatty. You literally just did. The breast was a little bit fatty, but the drumstick, the, the, look, the breast was fatty. I fucking get it. That's like an 80s compliment.

Her breasts were fatty, bro. Oh, god damn it. You're doing great. Bye, mommy. Never come late to a show again, you piece of shit. I would have liked to not show it. I got chocolate on my mask,

on my hazmat mask. I will say having, I had the original for the gizzard and I had the spicy for the, for the chicken, the chicken breast and the thigh that I got. And I prefer the spicy naturally,

but the original is no slouch. The original is great. I would maybe get the half and a half if I got the chicken again. I like the spicy as well. The spicy is great. Yeah. I preferred it over the original.

But it is, it is, it is excellent fried chicken. Did you, was the meat moist at least? The meat was very moist. Yes. I feel like you're maybe, you had one rogue piece that was maybe not ideal,

but it's, I feel like the overall quality level is just so high. It's high. It is high. We also, we got some desserts. We got the sweet potato pie. And, and, wait, is that what it was?

It was sweet potato pie. Yeah. And the peach cobbler. I think it's the other one they offer. Yes. I liked both of them a lot. I thought they were both good. Yeah.

I like them too. It seemed like, it seemed like it was. The peach cobbler was there maybe a lot of the day. Yeah. Or the, I saw them all stacked up

and I was like, ooh, what's that? And it was like, oh, this is, I don't know how fast they go through them. Yeah. I would have liked it warm or something too, if you could heat it up.

You probably, we should have, probably just heated it up a little bit. Well, sure. It was also darker than I thought. Yeah. That like some pieces are, part of it was like gray.

Yeah. Yeah. There's, you guys love gray salt. These are gray salt caramels. You like gray peach cobbler. It's just naturally gray here constantly. Yeah.

I'm, I'm with you. But it was good. I thought, I thought it was tasty. Yeah. I thought it was good. I was,

maybe I was picturing. It was good. Not as great as I picture peach cobbler. All right. Calm down. Um, but,

Jesus. Uh, you're not from here. Are you? Uh, but, but I still enjoy. I mean,

I still ate a fucking bowl of it. Yeah. Yeah. And a sweet potato. I also will say it's hard to figure out how much you should get here, which is no fault of them, but it says a half pound of okra. I don't know what that means.

Yeah. That's very true. Yeah. I was looking at it. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I will say it was amazing. I saw Mitch in his, like we were going over the menu and like the sides and everything.

And then we had it all. Emma was writing it down. And then we went sides first and everything. And then we went, uh, to the chicken and it was like, Oh, if you get these two, then you get those sides. And it was like, Oh fuck. We already did all the saying and Mitch was like, don't worry. I have it.

And he like did all this like food conversion math of like, uh, if we order this, then we can get that in like seconds. It was truly fucking amazing and sad. It was that moment in a beautiful mind. It was. I saw combos and I like just started putting the things into combos. Yeah. You like, you saw, you saw everything and then you ate all the images.

The guy was like, why are you doing that with your finger and putting it to your mouth? It was amazing. I started doing it in my head and then the guy at the cashier was tearing up. Cause it was, I've never seen anything like that before. I quit. It was also like kind of extra embarrassing and funny because Mitch kept, we were ordering a lift and he kept like going up to the counter being like, uh, is that our food?

Uh, is that our food? I had to check in because our lift was coming. And this is like most self-conscious thing in the world to me is I never want to be like, he's my food ready, please. I need my food. I'm hungry. And like, I mean, you don't need to say it though. That's my whole point, you asshole is that she saw me coming up and she's like, here

comes again. And I was like, no, I know what this looks like, but our lift is here. And then the lift driver left without us. It was fucked up. We fucked up bad. We were fine. We were fine. But I just kept asking her as she was like, sir, your order will be ready soon.

And I was like, no, I know. I was also like, I'll go check. And he's like, no, I'll check. I took the bullet. I should have just let you check. Yeah. After you left, they were like, this is why we switched to a window only policy. Just order the lift after you get your food.

We did. We fucked up. We thought our order was ready and we ordered it. Okay, we fucked up. I will say. Hold on. You didn't come to the show on time. Your piece of shit.

I'm just saying, if instead of having this anxiety about to these spinning plates. I'm just saying, just fucking get a plane that comes here on time. Nailed them. Okay. So the sweet potato pie. This is our last live show. Seattle, you get the last live show. What do you think of that?

Wigs. So this is where we carry out the pact. We must not speak of the pact. So we're going to save that for your hometown. I think the, the sweet potato pie was a bite of heaven. It's just, it's just an outstanding dessert. It's so, so good. I just like, I think that might be my favorite bite of these, this entire meal.

And you know, some of this is hot food that's been sitting for a little bit in a, you know, and this is, this is a cold item that it's going to travel a little bit better. But it is just such a well executed, classic dessert. And I fucking, I like, I've had sweet potato pies and I'm like, whatever, whatever. Yeah, I get it. But then this is what the, this is the one that reminds me. Oh, I get why this is some people's like favorite thing. It's just like so, so well executed.

Just delicious. Damn. Love it. You're really liking it. It's not cold. The food. It was warm. It's warm.

This is all warmish. Everything is warmish. It's not ideal. I would, but, but you know, I'm given the circumstances. I applaud everyone for making this happen and letting me eat this on stage. I will say the one negative of this meal is written on top of my fried chicken combo. Oh God. Is the number 45, which of course is a number that makes me think of the orange buffoon,

the current occupant of the White House. Did you get Trump's order accidentally? I may be. So that's really the only drawback here. I think all the food was outstanding. And I think at this point we should get to our final thoughts on Izzelle. All right. So Tony, Mitch, Tony, I'm, I'm, I'm curious as to what you're going to,

what your assessment is going to be. Do we, does Tony get, I guess you should just give a full fork ranking and you should just, just sort of say what you, what you think based on your, an experience as a vegetarian there. So say as your final thoughts on this chain and an assessment on the order of zero to five forks, your guess will begin with you. Okay. Great.

I get it. I didn't try the main thing here. So that's that. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I, I understand that. I got a lot of the sides, both of the desserts.

I guess the only side I didn't try was the beans. Love the mashed potatoes again. Great consistency with the mac and cheese went back for it a few times. The bread, I'm not sopping up in, in gravy. So again, that's a reflection on am I trying this food to the full potential I get. But did I dip it in blue cheese? Yeah. And was it, was it great for sure.

So with all that into account, you know, everybody, let's everybody take that into account. I get that. With that said, I love a peach cobbler. It's my favorite dessert. And so maybe I set the bar a bit high for that. And again, did I eat it? Absolutely. Sweet potato pie.

So great. And I don't need a lot of sweet potato pie. What I'm getting to is I'm going to have to say, oh boy, Seattle, I love you. Okay. And remember that. Remember that. Okay. I lived here.

I get it. All right. Okay. I'm going to give it. I didn't get to try the chain. Okay. I'm going to give it a, and this is subject to change when I hear you guys. I'm going to give it a two and a half.

Wow. Oh my God. Oh no. Subject to change. Subject to change. Oh no. We can't make you happy. It's a part of your thing.

One guy just thumbs down. Honestly, truly scary. I fucking get it. Yeah. Oh man. All right. I get it. I get it.

We're all fine. It's okay. We're all fine. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. We're all fine. It's okay. We're going to need a police escort for Tony. I know.

Guys, it's okay. Jesus. All right. What do you think, Spoon Man? Jesus. Oh man. Well. I know.

And you fucking panda. You. I do not. Yes, you do. Look, Seattle is a great city. I'm confused by you. I am confused. I meant that in a good way.

Oh, shut up. I'm confusing. People are confused why they came out to see me. I'm a confusing man. It's a confusing city in a good way. All right. But there's a lot of great things here. The song Spoon Man could have been written in front of him.

That's true. For all we know, it's the home of Spoon Man. Nirvana. Macklemore, as you said, Weiger. The Seahawks. Wow. No one's even popping for the Seahawks. What the fuck is going on?

Pikes Place Market? We were going to do a fish toss on stage, and Weiger thought it would be too grim. I thought it would be fun to try to catch a fish. Whoever could catch a fish better wins. And then we were going to maybe do like a giant Swedish fish. But then we were like, that's hard to get. It's hard to get a giant Swedish fish.

Yeah. And not a thing that generally exists. I think it exists. Okay. I believe. Izzels is very good. It's a very good restaurant. It is good.

I agree with you. It is very, very good. I just know some things you were saying earlier. I told you that the chicken was fatty. You got to learn to pander, you fool. I got one chicken piece that was very fatty. And for real, I was between 3.75 forks and four forks. Weiger, hold on.

Hold on. I don't know what I'm going to rank yet. And everyone's so mad at you. No, I know. It didn't feel good. Oh, man. Fuck it. 3.94 forks.

Wow. 3.94 forks. Oh, man. All right. My score is going to change. Weiger. Oh, corny love's going to kill us. Did we do know if this food came from the same Izzels?

I don't know. I believe it. Yes, it did. It did. I will first say in defense of our good friend, Tony, we put her in an enviable position of being someone who doesn't eat fried chicken or chicken at all and having to review a fried chicken restaurant.

She agreed to do this show before we started the train. Hold up a mirror to yourself. She was a good sport about it. So I am going to say that I believe since this is a fried chicken restaurant, we can lop two forks, two eligible forks off of her score and say that it is two and a half out of three, which is pretty good for the sides. So don't attack Tony, please.

And also, I'm very shaken from this whole night. Yeah. So my four-fork rating is actually out of four forks. OK. So Mitch is giving a very good 3.9 out of four forks. Out of four forks. Holy shit. Here's what I'm going to do.

I didn't get the full experience because I got this brought to me, although I think since it is a to-go window sort of establishment, I guess to-go is maybe the way a lot of people have it. Ideally, I would have liked to have eaten it fresh instead of it sitting inside a, you know, a warming container for about a half hour, but circumstances were what they are. Yes.

You had to write jokes for fucking Watto. I had to write jokes for fucking Watto. You had to write fucking Muppet jokes. Do you remember one? Wow. Annie, I got blue cum in my diaper. He comes as a baby? He does, yeah.

It's a thing about a thing about a species. Also, is it baby Watto or baby Wario? Wow. Spoiler alert, Wario becomes a key supporting character. Wow. Yeah. You heard it here first, folks. So that said, the chicken is delicious.

It's excellent. If I had this, I can tell this is just very, very high quality fried chicken. The battering is great. The chicken was moist. I loved it. The gizzards were great. The slaw was maybe the one weak point, but it was still a good

slaw, and I think there are people who like that kind of preparation. The beans and mac and cheese were both just dynamite sides. Those would do any place proud of it. Any fried chicken or barbecue place. And the sweet potato pie was just a fucking, just a, I mean, I was going to say icing on the cake, but it's pie. But whatever.

Well, it actually works. It still kind of works. It's a dessert course, icing on the cake. Cupcakes are kind of like pie, yes. So I am going to give Izzelle's four and a half forks out of four and a half forks. Out of four and a half forks? You know what?

You know what? I'm bumping mine up to four forks out of five forks. Wow. I'm going to bump mine up. What? From two and a half to what? Wait, what is my score out of? Three.

I'll stay. That's a good score. I'm going to issue a ruling and say that this place is an iconic Seattle eatery with excellent food and it deserves to be in the Golden Plate Club. So welcome to the Golden Plate Club, Izzelle's. Well, you can't just do that. Wait, it's still, the scores average out that way anyway.

I like dicks better. I do. I like dicks better. I'd go back to, I'd go back to either. But hey, that was our review of Izzelle's famous chicken. Nice. That means it's time for a segment. A new segment.

A new segment. Am I hitting? And maybe I seem a bit confused. Yeah, maybe. But I got some eggs. But we all are going to taste these tossed salads and scrambled eggs. We're going to eat tossed salad and scrambled eggs. We got a big old salad.

Tell them what time we got this. We got this about three hours ago. And here are some scrambled eggs. Oh, you're dumping them in there? Oh, Jesus Christ. That's right. It fell out in one piece. You're putting dressing on it?

We're putting dressing on it. It's tossed salad and scrambled eggs. Oh, God. And then I'll toss. Have you in real life ever tossed a salad? I have no, I've never tossed a salad. Wirefucking. The answer, the answer is no either way.

Wirefucking is all working to sweet greens. That guy tossed a salad on the regular. So that's a no. I've never eaten but. Is that what tossing salad is? I think that has a specific connotation. Why? Lettuce, like tossing a salad is so far from eating a but.

So the way I hear that specific act described is that there is some sort of additional element introduced like a syrup or a preserves that would aid the but eating and make it taste a little less like. Like that. So is that for real? I heard it.

You're asking them like knowing that they're freaks? That's not a freak thing. That's just a thing. Oh, I'm not shaming. I'm just saying like freaks, like cool freaks. Hashtag. Hashtag cool freaks. It makes sense now when you said like chocolate syrup

and stuff because that is what I use on my salad. Salads most of the time. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. I just, you know, again, this is what I heard. That's fair. That's very fair. I never tossed.

I'm staying away. I'm not going down there. You're not going down there at all? I mean, oh no. Hold on a second. No. I'm not DJ Khaled or whatever his name is. I'll go down there.

I've said this before. I've said it before. I will go down there. I'm like the Tootie Roll Owl. Three lists. One, two, three. And then you take a big bite. I take a big bite.

Oh God. She's like, what the fuck? I told you I'm like the Tootie Roll Owl. No. Oh God, fuck. Don't say that joke, dear God. She said it was my mom, by the way. You didn't hear that.

All right, I'm going to toss this. Okay. So while Mitch is doing this tossing, I have opened up the genius page for this song. Nice. Writer Bruce Miller was asked by the creators of Frazier to come up with a song for the show. They wanted something pretty, eclectic and jazzy,

but to avoid any direct references to specific subject matter. So it's necessary to stay away from the words about psychiatry, radio shows, the name Frazier, and anything else directly indicating aspects of the show. So he came up. That's very funny. With the title theme of the song stating that those things were mixed up, tossed salad and scrambled eggs

like Frazier Crane's patience. Huh? They're mixed up. Like they got a little, there's something a little, they got a screw loose. They're mixed up. They go, so it is, they are supposed to be combined, tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

No, the idea is that tossed salad is something that is mixed up. Scrambled eggs is something else that is also mixed up. Chocolate milk could be another option, something that's mixed up, just sort of tossed together. And that's meant to represent someone who's mixed up in the head as the idiom goes. Alright, now it makes more sense.

Yeah. No, I think we could have eaten these independently and accomplished the same thing, but this is fine. Let's eat this fucking gross concoction. Send it this way, I want to get this over with. Should have been like, I'm a psychiatrist man, why didn't they just make it that instead? I think, again, the order from the show's producers

was to make it so it wasn't like that kind of on-the-nose sort of theme song you saw on other 80s and 90s sitcoms. I'm going to say this, there might be a little bit of chocolate in there too. Jesus Christ. Tony's going for it. You didn't take a bite.

I will. What is the dressing? Because it looked pink. I said, give us your pinkest dressing, please. Like a raspberry vinaigrette. It's like a raspberry vinaigrette. I guess. I'm guessing.

And they said, is this pink enough? I said, no. Please. Something pinker. Here we go. Mitch is taking a little bite here. Tony, you didn't seem disgusted by it. I got a piece of egg on there.

In all honesty, I didn't get egg. Here we go. I got a big piece of egg. I got some lettuce. Here we go. Now? Send it this way. I want to fucking eat this thing.

Even this smell. Get this fucking over with. I need a sweet potato pie on standby. Oh yeah, that's a great idea. Okay, here we go. So the... Fuck. Can you just get wabs of egg?

Thank God that bite is over. I think the key issue here is that I think the key issue here is this dressing. It just looks like Pepto Bismol has dumped over the top of it. It's repulsive to the eyes. You got some egg in there? Yeah, I got some fucking egg on there. It's egg and fucking whatever this green leaf lettuce is.

I'm taking a little bit of a smaller bite. Okay, here we go. I'm going to take it. There we go. Oh, I hate it. It tastes so bad. Oh, I got such a big piece of egg. Yeah, there were big pieces of egg in there.

Oh, it's gross. Why did we do this? We thought Seattle would like it. They didn't. Oh, he might throw up. He might throw up, folks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A dope boy's first.

Oh. I didn't throw up. I just spit into a bag. He just whispered to me, I'm saving that for later. Natalie often says that. That was gnarly. I think you guys are out of your mind.

I enjoy it quite a bit. Do you really? Yeah, well, great. Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends out. Starts out. Uh-oh. Look, oh, fuck. What?

Do you need a bag? No. Do you want a bag? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm fine. Let's keep the show going. Yeah, I will. Fuck you.

Yeah. Yeah, show a match. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he'll learn. Also, while walking here, Mitch is like, oh, I didn't brush my teeth. Yes, that is true.

Don't shit, don't wag your finger. That's true. Oh, I brush him today, but not when I got up from my nap. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah, okay. Fuck. Fuck.

You have not swallowed yet. But you showed that guy. He's chewing it like an outfielder with, like, tobacco. Just a mixture of scrambled eggs and lettuce. Oh, God. Mitch just gagged. Yeah. Yeah.

Mitch is trying very hard not to regurgitate. He's making some very dismayed faces. Fuck. How are you still chewing? Yeah, what are you still chewing? He is so concentrated. We did it, folks. What a triumph.

Oh, my God. Dude, God. I know, we're going to have to deal with you afterwards. I told you my stomach was hurting today. Also, we went to the guy at the restaurant and we were like, do you have scrambled eggs? And they're like, no. We're like, can you make us three scrambled eggs?

And he was like, I'll ask. And he came back and he's like, he said, don't do it. So a place that doesn't make it, oh, my God. All right, we'll pass this out to the audience. No. No one has to eat that. And if you do eat that, Doughboy's media is not liable. Guys, it's time to take some questions.

Just like a restaurant via your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. So we're going to take three audience questions. Our producer, Emma, Erdbrink is out here. Emma, everyone. Hi. Oh, fuck. All right, Emma's going to call,

going to tell us who's going to ask the questions. And then you guys can just come up to, where is the mic, Emma? I have it in my hand. I'm probably going to stand right there in the middle. Okay, great. So you just come out. She is best. I got Stephen West, Ryan Sandrew and Scott.

I think your last name is Mac. I pulled that from your email. Come on down, guys. You guys can meet me right up front by the stage. While you're after eating that salad, I feel quite frasier. How so? The salad's right here. Nobody wanted it.

Duh. That was disgusting. Frasier's catchphrase. Duh. Niles. True or false. Did you audition to be Eddie? Is that the dog?

Yeah. Is it really? Yeah. Is that the dog from the mask? I don't know if it was the same dog. It wasn't the same dog? It might be. He's one of my favorite actors.

Hey, what's up, buddy? Hey, how's it going? Hi. What's your name? Stephen. Hi, Stephen. Hi. Yeah, he's weird.

He's a weird guy, sorry. So real preamble real quick. Mitch, me and my wife have a tuxedo cat. Yeah, baby. He's a tripod. Wow. Yeah. Very cute cat and we love following Wally and Arma.

Hell yeah. What's the cat's name? Chip. Chip rules. When you say tripod, do you mean he's got three legs or he's got a big old dick? Because if it's the latter, Wiger's coming on with you guys tonight.

No comment. So recently, my wife and I have gone vegan slash vegetarian. Oh, congrats. Very cool. We did break it to review this chain. Thank you. Pretty good chicken, but yeah. Anyways, we're going to LA next week

and with rat fuck Pete Buttigieg stealing the election, we're from my home state, fuck him. But anyway, we're deciding that we may break it in order to go to an LA chain and just kind of kill ourselves with fast food. So if you have any suggestions of where to go, we'd love to hear them. And then Tony, if we are going to stay vegetarian and vegan,

what fast food chains would you suggest? That's good. Where in LA are you going to be? Santa Monica. Wow. Wiger's the neck of the wood. So there is, if you're talking specifically of chains, that's one thing.

I will say if you're going to be in Santa Monica and you're trying to eat vegetarian, there is an Indian place that Natalie and I go to with regularity called Channey. They have a buffet and they have dinner. It's vegetarian and it's fucking fantastic. And it's just a great little hole in the wall that's been there on Wilshire forever.

But as far as chains go... Also, go to Nick's apartment. Yeah, come by. Bring your big dick's cap. But as far as chains go, Mitch, I mean, LA chains, I mean, in and out burger is the obvious one. I'm trying to think of less obvious ones

that are maybe worth it. You know, Zanku Chicken is a very distinct specific LA... Zanku you should go to. Armenian chicken place. Also, the godmother over in Santa Monica, if you're in Santa Monica... Yeah, they have a great... If you want to just say fuck it

and just have an Italian hero, yeah, they have a great sub there. Wally's not packing heat down there. He's a lot like his master, in many ways. His master? Yes, I am his master. His father and his lover. This sounds lame, but it's a chain veggie grill?

Is that just a California thing? Oh, you have it. Yeah, I feel like... Well, I'm not too much of a... I got one. Okay. Monty's Good Burger. Oh, that's a great, great choice.

It is, yeah. So that place is all plant-based and it's like fast food. It's just like straight up... It's akin to a shake shack, but it's all plant-based and it's excellent. The product is very, very good. Yeah, I definitely recommend that.

It's over on Western. It's a little bit out of your way from Santa Monica, but worth the trip. Yeah, I have other... I don't know chains, but I have other specific recommendations, like green leaves or sage or elf or all of those. You know what I would say is there is some fantastic... I imagine there's some fantastic sushi up here,

but there's some fantastic sushi on LA, so I mean, that's the sort of thing if you just want to say, like, ah, fuck it, you know, go to a place like Shunji and just have a fucking fantastic, amazing dinner or go all the fucking way and go to like Musso and Frank and have just like a classic fucking steak and have that experience, have some waiters be mean to you.

Can we talk more about his cat's dick? Yeah. Your recommendations are too real and boring. Yeah. Yeah, what do you want to talk about, Mitch? I don't know, it'd be weird. Does it be sucking a cat's dick? It's all hairy?

It's like barbed and curvy. Oh, it comes out of the thing. Yeah. Oh, I thought that it just like got long and it was like long and hairy. No, don't catch it like a fish hook. They can reel you in if you try to snuck that thing. Mitch, I'll DM you on Instagram some pictures.

Oh, please do. Nice. Thank you so much for the question. Thank you. Hi. What's your name? Ryan. Hi, Ryan.

What's up, Ryan? Nothing much. Just at your podcast. Cool. Ryan rules. I don't want to take full credit for the question because my friend told me to ask it to Panda, to Weiger. Okay, that's fine.

Fuck him. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, fuck him or her. Fuck him or her. Yeah. What food from a video game would you want to eat? Comma, Weiger. Oh, fuck it.

Weiger. Wait, so he only can answer? Fine, I'll set this one out. No, please answer. I want you to answer. I want you to answer too. The thing that always comes to mind is that nothing has looked more delectable than wall meat.

Like if you bust open a wall in Castlevania and there's just a fucking whole Thanksgiving turkey there. The fact that you're getting like applause breaks in the audience. Some guys are like, yeah, like standing up. Or like Mayor Mike Hagar, like busts open and oil barrel in Final Fight and there's just a big fucking like turkey leg there.

That's always strange to me that just in the barrel there's a cooked thing of meat. Yeah. Different rules. But I think, I mean, there's something to be said for all the dishes that Link is able to whip up in Breath of the Wild. Yeah.

Would you eat the nasty food, the weird guy? Yeah, I eat the fucked up food. Yeah. I would say tossed salad and scrambled eggs. You didn't enjoy it. That would be, that would be like blurred out food, I feel like. But that at least restores your health.

Yeah. I mean, this, what do we get out of this? Our health meter went down, I believe. And then you got, I mean, fucking one-up mushroom. I mean, a second chance at life, sure. Man, imagine if you ate the red mushroom and got bigger. It would scare me. Would you throw me or something?

Yeah, that would be terrifying. I'd just be like, hey, buddy. It'd be the same guy, just the largest man in the world. Any video, Tony, are you much of a gamer? I have two older brothers, so I got to watch a lot of games growing up. So I can't, I think, isn't there like the make me a burger sort of, what is the burger time?

Burger time? Yeah. I guess that's, I don't know, that could be good. So your answer is. There's a lot of banana peels. Where those bananas go? I don't know. Ooh, are they eating the bananas in the cart?

No. Somebody is. They pick up a banana peel weapon, right? Yeah, but somebody has to supply that. And Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Country merely seems to be hoarding them. Like he just has a banana cave with his ever-growing banana stash, but he doesn't seem to be eating them.

Donkey Kong is like part of the 1% for the monkeys. He is, yeah. He has thousands and thousands and thousands of bananas that he doesn't share with anyone. Yeah. Or Red Shell Turtles. Maybe those are good. Can he eat a Koopa Troopa?

Well, the fuck not. They're evil as hell. No, they're just frontline soldiers. They're just doing the job they were conscripted to do. Or those eggs that, uh, they can roast up Ludwig von Koopa. I'll eat the shit out of Ludwig. Um...

I go to town on Princess Peach's cake that she gives you. Whoa! All right. Okay. I fuck it! Give it three licks! Hell yeah. I did not mean I would go down on fucking Princess.

No. Yeah! I think that would throw me off. If it was Peach, I would take a bite like the owl. I'd get in trouble. There's no way she'd let you go down on her. Mario instead? Oh, yeah. I guess I am more like Wario.

Yeah. Uh, that cake at the end of Mario 64 looks fucking delicious. It's just a JPEG, but it's very, very enticing. Yes. It's very rewarding. Very memorable. A very memorable cake. Absolutely.

I give Yoshi a little kiss on the lips and get out of there. Thank you for the question. Hi. Hi, what's your name? Hey, my name is Scott. Hi, Scott. Hey, Scott. How y'all doing?

I did it when you caught on to me. Y'all. How y'all doing? My question is... You got a little draw going on? I'm from here. No, no. Seattle people are cool.

They're cooler than we are. Very cool. Have you guys ever had or like made a fast food staple or had one at home? Like, have you ever made a Big Mac at home? Wow. Have you ever had someone make a fast food staple at home? Like, my mom used to make, like, lettuce wraps from P.F. James. No, no, no.

I'm not doing that. But like, my friend makes like, Crunchwrap Supremes from... Like, have you ever had just like a fast food staple that someone else has made at home that's better than the original? No. Our buddy Payman Benz, who was on the podcast previously, I can't remember the name of the chain we reviewed. The Poke Bowl place.

We reviewed a Poke place. But Payman is a very industrious man and he has been workshopping Crunchwrap Supremes on his own and trying them with different meats and he sends me pictures of them and he's just like, he's just incrementally getting better at it. So I think it's someday he's going to perfect it and it's going to shock the world. Wow. But he's been working at it. I will say, as a boy, I got my, as a fat boy, I got my dad to try to make, like, there used

to be these cookbooks or they were like, they were fucking in the fucking newspaper that would say like, here's how you make this fast food item. And I found the one for Kentucky Fried Chicken and like, asked my dad to make it and he went to all the trouble to do it and he had to like, get the pressure cooker out from under the, like, because it's made with a pressure cooker. It was a gigantic pain in the ass. And we had it and tasted like KFC, but why bother? Cause you can just taste it like KFC.

Yeah. That's the secret recipe was in the paper. It was, I mean, it was close enough. It was close enough for comfort. That's insane. That's shocking. Your dad's the new colonel. Is that how it works?

It's like the Santa Claus. Wow. It's funny that your, your friend is like doing this a lot because it doesn't seem like it would take that long to get a Crunchwrap Supreme Master. You know what I mean? Yeah. But I think there are some little bits of magic that they do there in the Taco Bell kitchen. Really?

It takes a little bit of doing the reverse engineer. Remember when Taco Bell like came out with like canned beans and like sauce? Yes. At the grocery store. Yeah. So I feel like we, I didn't grow up with a lot of money. So that would be like a name brand thing. Like the Taco Bell canned beans would be like, whoa.

All right. So I remember on taco nights doing that where it would be like Taco Bell heart shell and like we like spurge and we're like, yeah, Taco Bell and do our own tacos. But I don't think as an adult, there's anything that I've, I've made at home that was like, I'm trying to replicate this fast food personally. Yeah. No, no, of course not. All right.

Thank you. I was storing. Until my mom came, I was storing things on top of my stove at my house. Like what? There were, there were like papers, dough boys papers, like season desist notices. No, I've never, I've never, I've never, I've never done it. I've never done it. I go to the drive through.

I'm not a fucking maniac. I can't outsmart the Colonel. I can't outsmart Ronald McDonald. Who do I think I am? I think shame on all of you who thinks they can outdo a Crunch Trap Supreme or a cheesy Gordy to Crunch. Go and get it. Support these corporations.

We've taught you through this podcast. Guys, thank you so much for the questions. Guys, I know this was an unusual show, but I just want to take one second to acknowledge Emma, Mitch and Tony, who are fucking heroic at carrying this thing. Thank you guys so much. Wigers, the Lolita Express is still running at the airport, right? I got to get back there. But guys, that's our show.

Thank you so much for coming out here. Tony Shirley and Ramos. I don't have time for this movement. Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weiger. Happy to see you. Thank you, Seattle. Thank you, Seattle.

That was a hate gun podcast.