Doughboys - Garden of Eatin': Broccoli with Lindsay Katai and Kelly Nugent

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

Lindsay Katai (@lindsaykatai) and Kelly Nugent (@kellynugee) of Teen Creeps joins the 'boys to talk colonoscopies, pets, and dentistry before kicking off the Garden of Eatin': Veggie Table: The Green Gobblin' with a review of Mother Nature's fast food, broccoli.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.nytimes.com/1990/03/23/us/i-m-president-so-no-more-broccoli.htmlhttps://www.cbc.ca/archives/the-u-s-president-who-hated-the-vegetable-of-the-80s-1.5491028https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/george-bush-vomits-on-prime-minister-of-japanhttps://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check/george-hw-bush-did-not-die-at-a-japanese-state-dinner-in-1992-idUSL1N39L1DJ/https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17826509https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2002-jan-14-mn-22490-story.htmlhttps://slate.com/human-interest/2017/10/george-h-w-bush-groped-me-during-a-2014-photo-op.htmlSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. Hey buddy, tired of energy drinks that bring you up just to let you down? Toke torch energy hydrates and energizes you at the same time by transforming your water into an energy drink so you can avoid the crash of traditional energy beverages. Tok Torch makes it easy to try their products with their starter kit. The cap has a chamber that is filled with ingredients and pressurized with nitrogen.

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and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. This was former President George Herbert Walker Bush in March of 1990, after reports surfaced that he had ordered the cruciferous vegetable ban from menus for the White House and for Air Force One. While the CIA director-turned-president considered broccoli the Saddam Hussein of vegetables, the senior Bush's diet was hardly a model of healthy eating. "'Junk food is his lifestyle,' said one of his former aides, Pete Teely, as quoted in the New York Times, and nachos and hot dogs were among his favorite bites."

The broccoli brouhaha wouldn't be the only notable food foible of Bush the elder. In January 1992, the president fell ill at a state dinner in Japan and nastily puked onto the lap of Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa, which led to an eponymous Japanese slang term, Bushuru, to vomit. And in 1994, while debating his eventual successor and McDonald's and Tang fan Bill Clinton, H.W. Bush admitted he had no idea how much a gallon of milk cost to the supermarket, confirming suspicions he was out of touch with the Tang fan Bill Clinton, H.W. Bush admitted he had no idea how much of a gallon of milk cost to the supermarket, confirming suspicions he was out of touch with the average American.

A decade and a half later, H.W.'s son, President George W. Bush, had his own grapple with grub in the White House, losing consciousness after choking on a pretzel, wounding his head in the resulting fall. In the final years before his death in 2018, multiple women reported incidents in which former President H.W. Bush quipped to them, You want to know my favorite book? David Copperfield, after which he'd groped their buttocks, often during photo ops. While neither that nor the broccoli quote is up there with, Four score and seven years ago or the only thing we have to fear is fear itself They are an oddly fitting legacy for this one term president who really didn't do jack shit in office But by US presidential standards, that's a pretty decent tenure This week on doughboys we begin the Garden of Eaton

Vegetable the green goblin a month of reviewing Mother Nature's fast food We're talking broccoli. Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Bruceville Ranch, the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. I'm like Bruceville Ranch, but with ranch. With ranch dressing. My buddy Kevin sent in a roast a few years ago, Dowie Janela, that made the Marco's Pizza episode with John Daly.

That was my pitch for a roast that he sent in. So I'm trying to take back the stolen roast valor. Here is my Hollywood Squares inspired roast, Roast Bruceville Ranch. Thanks, Josie. Roast at birdfuck.com. Did he steal that roast? I, this is, this whole thing is suspect,

but he's blaming his friend, Josie is blaming his friend, Kevin, for stealing doughy Janella. And how dare he? How dare someone else claim doughe-y Janella? That's a great point. Well, this needs a susser investigation, I guess. I don't know. Whatever bullshit you guys want to do with it.

Yeah, whatever you want to do. Yeah, whatever you guys want to do. I call myself Bruce Vilech in Twisted Metal. Oh, that's right. He's just kind of stealing from that. Well, it might. But this could be the other thing. I mean, it sounds like he's just kind of stealing from that. Well, it might, but this could be the other thing. So, I mean, it sounds like he's just a-

Is he stealing or taking inspiration? Stealing or taking inspiration, that's what I'm saying. That's, okay. He's building. Yeah, that's true. I feel, I think he's stealing. He's stealing from me. We didn't just call you Bruce Valanche though.

He had a little, put a little English on it. Okay. But I get it, I get what you're saying. You think the people just walking around think I'm Bruce Valanche? I think they think of Bruce Vallanch and then they're like... There's nothing wrong with being Bruce Vlanch. There's nothing wrong with being Bruce.

Bruce Vlanch. He's funny as hell. Very funny guy. Very successful guy. But I think people could say like, hey, like what's Bruce Vlanch, a famous big guy who's also funny, that's like Mitch, let's change it specific to make it more chain race. Okay, so you're saying people can, you're trying to connect them through bridge. I'm not saying anyone's confusing you with Bruce Valanchy.

I can't have any of it today, it's a bad day. He's having a bad day. He's tender today. It's a cursed day. It's a cursed day. I'm getting a colonoscopy. Yes. It was supposed to be tomorrow. You walked in and announced that. But it is now, it is. Did I say that?

You came in and you said, so I'm getting a colonoscopy. It was kind of your opener. I'm getting a colonoscopy and it started yesterday with taking, and look, this is on me for starting late. Like always, you know me, I started late. But I- Wait, what do you mean? I took a couple of Dulcalax.

You take two of them and they don't work exactly how I thought they would, I guess you could say. Did you think it would be more instant? I thought it would just be like more normal, I guess. More normal? And it's not, has not been normal for me. Well, you did that this morning? This is part of what you're

No, I know I did this I did this last night. Okay. Yes. Oh, okay, and then this morning You know You had issues. Yes. Okay. Yeah Are you okay? My alarm I had no I didn't have to wake up to an alarm I didn't have to wake up to an alarm clock. It was a different kind of alarm. Your biological clock was ticking. Yes, my biological clock was ticking.

Yeah, yeah. A brown alarm, they could call it. You've heard of brown noise. That's my alarm going off with a brown noise. Yeah, that call was coming from inside the house. So it was interesting, and also I thought that like, I'm not trying to ditch them. Look, if Dulcalax promotes, like sponsors the pod,

I will happily. We'll run an ad for Dulcalax. We'll work with Dulcalax. Promo code Doughboys for 25% off your first order of Dulcalax. There you go, you can use that. That one's for free. The sad thing is, Dulcalax doesn't need us.

They don't need us, yeah. They're way above us. They're big, they don't need us at all. Let me tell you something, Dulcalax. No one needs. They don't need us, yeah. They're way above us. They're big, yeah. They're big, they don't need us at all. But let me tell you something, Dulcalax, no one needs to take a shit more than our listeners. That's true. Also, Coca-Cola stays number one because they advertise so consistently.

That's a great point. So, Dulcalax, get on it. Fantastic point. Get 25% off ice cold classic Coca-Cola. With a little bit of Dulcalax. With a little bit of... Ducalax. With a little bit of Ducalax. An ice cold Dulcalax. That's tomorrow is the Miralax. What the heck?

You have two different ones you're supposed to take? I'm taking Dulcalax again today, which I'm not taking, I was like, I'm gonna take it during the records, I'm not gonna take it during the records. And I'm supposed to go see a movie tonight with Casey, I don't think it's gonna happen, Casey. I wanna come for that.

I'm gonna go see the wall. I'm gonna go see the wall. Oh, how fun. I don't think it's gonna be good. Yeah, it should be fun. I'm gonna go see the wall. Is Dolkalex and Miralex, are they like enemies? Like are they like competitors or are they?

Yeah, why are you using two different ones? Dolkalex, Miralex, and Miramax, I think all of them. Miramax? They're all movie studios. Right, right, right. The Weinstein brothers own all three. It's a weird. DokaLax is like a...

Forgot, that's the Weinstein brothers company. DokaLax is a stimulant laxative, so it works faster than Miralax. Got it. Yeah, and then Miralax is more of a softener. Oh, Miralax is the one that I'm taking for like the flush. Are you sure you have it right? Well, I think they're both a flush.

I have it right. So I took, I took, and they're like, elastinib, and then I can show you the, I'll show you the thing. Your little like, perspective. Yeah, I wanna see the doctor's orders because I've had a colonoscopy before and I only had to drink the disgusting prep stuff.

I didn't have to do any other kind of flushing. Well, maybe you're going in for some specific situation. Well, that's what I was about to ask is, is yours a more specific colonoscopy or are you just getting checked out? I don't think so. They said that they would also cut any polyps out when they go in.

Okay, so this leads to my second theory, which is that I just had a generally botched colonoscopy because I was awake for my colonoscopy because they originally thought it was gonna be a sigmoidoscopy. I was not in Twilight, I was fully conscious. Oh my God. And it's because they thought I was doing a sigmoidoscopy,

which is just the lower intestine, not the full intestine. And so they didn't completely put full intestine. Oh my God. And so they didn't completely put me under. Oh my God. And I kept telling them, I was like, I'm still awake, I'm still awake, and they were like, okay, well we'll just give you fentanyl to like counteract the discomfort of us doing the colonoscopy. Jesus.

And they actually saw things that they had to cauterize. Don't be scared, don't be scared, don't be scared. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm fine. Well, clearly, well, that's what I'm saying is, so I think maybe they didn't, I didn't have to do Ducalax and Miralax because they the whole time thought I was only doing the sigmoidoscopy,

and then I showed up day of and I was like, no, I was supposed to get the full colonoscopy. And so I probably wasn't as flushed as I should be. And that's why my experience was different. And they didn't give me enough drugs to knock me out because they just didn't have it prepared and ready. And so, yeah, I was awake for most of it. And then finally I went under at the very end and then had the most ridiculous experience

trying to pass gas afterwards because I couldn't and they wouldn't let me leave until I did. And so I had this like horrifying nurse come in and talk like, talk to me about it. to pass gas afterwards because I couldn't and they wouldn't let me leave until I did. And so I had this like horrifying nurse come in and talk to me like I was a baby to try to help me pass gas. Come on little poo poo. Yes, literally yes.

She was like pushing on my stomach. She was like, just, just you gotta do a little poo poo. You gotta do a little poo poo. Let's do a little poo poo. And I was like little poo poo. Let's do a little poo poo. Oh my God. And I was like, this is a nightmare. This is literally a nightmare. I'm being held hostage by like this Annie Wilkes motherfucker who like is getting off on this in some way

and is like keeping me here for some reason. Your sphincter is never been so tight. And I can't leave. I can't leave. Oh my God. It was horrifying. If this happens to me, I'm gonna fucking pull a chief and fucking throw a water fucking man out the window. I'm not fucking, no one's gonna say poo poo. You're not gonna fucking do that to me, I'm gonna fucking pull a chief and fucking throw a water fucking bomb out the window.

I'm not fucking, no one's gonna say poop. You're not gonna fucking do that to me. They're not doing that to me. They're not gonna do it to me. Don't let them. I'm changed now, I'm a changed person. That story is horrifying. Yeah, that's horrifying.

And I don't know if our listeners clocked it. All five of us listening independently said, oh my God, at a certain point. Oh wow. Oh my wow. Oh my god. I mean, that is the only reaction. That's horrifying.

It was really bad. We just saw Kenny die. That's insane. Screw you guys. I'm going home. That's our show. To wrap up my story, I'll just say, so yours is probably correct, and that's

why I'm not familiar with the whole having to take extra stimulants. Well, it's funny because they're like, buy a bottle, and it's a smaller bottle of Miralax, but it's 14 servings. And then they're like, at 6 p.m., like the day before, which is an all liquid diet day, so tomorrow, they're like, put half of the bottle into a Gatorade. I'm like, how do we even measure half this bottle? And then the next morning at 6 a.m., or basically six hours before my check-in, I put the other half in a Gatorade bottle and I have to finish it like four hours before I go in, basically.

Actually, Mike just had a colonoscopy and I don't think he had to do any of this either. Maybe Kaiser sucks. Do you have some kind of like experimental doctor? Who's like, I can't wait to get my hands on this guy. Dr. Moreau, is that what's going on? It seems very, I'll show you the info. What's your insurance? Yeah, we're like, it's written free on.

I have SAG. Like Blue Cross Blue Shield? Yeah, Anthem Blue Cross. Yeah, Anth're like, it's written in crayon. I have SAG. Like Blue Cross, Blue Shield? Yeah, Anthem. Anthem, Blue Cross. Yeah, Anthem, Blue Cross. Maybe it's just a really thorough doctor. Yeah. That might be it. Very thoroughly cleaned.

Also, Kaiser can be kind of wackadoo sometimes. I think maybe Kaiser's just been really lax with their colonoscopy. I wish there would be more. That's my time, okay. So I had LASIK years years ago and there were two separate friends that were both about to get Lasik and came to me and was like, hey, what should I expect?

And to both of them, I was like, it's gonna be fine. It's the easiest thing in the world. I was in there in 15 minutes. I walked out at 20, 20 vision. It was one day of recovery. It's like the easiest procedure. Both of them had major complications. So I just reassured two people in advance

and they both like came to me later with like bloodshot eyes like it didn't go good. I was like, I'm like, I'm horrible. What the fuck? Say it wouldn't have been any happier if they'd been dreading it before. It's true, yeah. So you didn't hurt anybody.

By the way, hold on, time out. You told me that LASIK is great. It is great. You never told me this story till now. A couple of people we know did not have great experiences. What the fuck? Yeah. Amanda Sitko had an okay experience, didn't she?

Amanda Sitko, did she have an okay experience? I think so, yeah. Oh yeah. I know some people who loved it. I know Chloe Dykstra loved hers. It scares me. But I personally don't wanna get it because I've heard people go blind.

And doctors that tell, like the doctors that administrate it, if they are under contract with LASIK, if they have to wear glasses, because a lot of them don't get LASIK themselves, they are told to wear contacts on the day that they talk to you. Wow. Dr. Amanda Sitko, by the way. I...

Great LASIK. So, I mean, I hear that it's like, but I've had a... I got an astigmatism, right? You have that too. And I just figured out LASIK. So I mean, I hear that it's like, but I've had a, I got an astigmatism, right? Is that, yeah. You have that too. And I just figured out that I had, I had glasses when I was younger, but I've had a lot of, I've had a bunch of floaters.

Everything went sideways earlier this year. And that's part of the reason I'm getting this colonoscopy. But I think- Yeah, I figured out what's wrong with your eyes. It's up your ass. Oh yeah. I am going into Twilight. I Am going into Twilight like our video later make my skin sparkle

Come for you Bella Very young in the books? Is that her name, Bella? I think so, yeah, they're in high school. She's a teenager. She's a high schooler. She's 16. She's a high schooler. But you know what? Why does this come up for you, Bella?

You're younger than the vampire she dates, so. Right, he's hundreds of years old. Oh. That's true, that's a great point. I'm not saying I'm not. You're a more appropriate choice. Yeah. But not the appropriate choice. This is for fucking rules.

Yeah. It's an excuse. I'm gonna be in Twilight. I auditioned last week, I got it. I'm gonna be in the new Twilight movie. Congratulations. Yeah, kind of a weird way to announce it, I guess. But no, I'm gonna be in, they're gonna put me,

I guess, is that what it means to be put under with anesthesia, Twilight? It's like, no, Twilight's like, you're kind of not fully under. You're not fully out, but you don't, you're not gonna be caught in that. It's like, you're so out of it that you're conscious but you don't remember having been conscious,

unlike me who was fully conscious and remembered. That's, I'm- But you are supposed to be in Twilight for a colonoscopy. Did you see Hannibal? Hannibal, yes. Oh, with the end and like, you know, Ray Liotta, he's kind of like in a Twilight space. He's feasting on his own brains. not fucking happened to me, that's crazy.

They're not gonna do that to me. But you won't remember it after. Oh, all right, so I eat my brain, I'll be fine. All right, cool. It's still in the body. I mean, Ray Liotta went on to act in many more things. He did, yeah. That's true, that is true. He's fine.

Liotta? I'm saying everybody's name. Ray Liotta, yeah. Ray Liotta, I think we're all copying. I don't know how to say, no, no, no, he said Liotta. I thought I said Liotta. I said Liotta, it's Leota. I think we're all copying. I don't know how to say. Did you say Leota? No, no, no. He said Leota. I thought I said Leota. I said Leota.

It's on me. It's fine. The great Ray Leota may rest in peace. Yes. Speaking of which, there's a... Wait, what did you say to me? Oh, know what I'm afraid of? Oh my God.

You all right? Oh no, oh no, oh no. Do you want to play your drop and reset? Yes. Let's hit him with a drop, Emma. Yeah, we did get wildly off track for you guys. My brain is broken. Wow. Did I do that?

This garbage disposal needs more power. Eat one frosty chocolate milkshake, bad guys. Get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie box. One, two, three. It stinks. I can't go on try, I'm so sad. TV sucks. That was, hey, that was the channel surfing drop.

I liked it. I liked it. I thought it. I liked it. I thought it was creative. Kind of a collection of all of our various impressions of 90s sitcom characters. All bad impressions. Yeah, all very bad.

Hi everyone, this drop idea came to me as I was falling asleep after listening to the latest double. I hope it hasn't been done before. Chris Finke. Finke's done it again. Finke's back. Finke's back. What's at birdfuck.com? What I'm afraid of about being a,

I wonder if you have the same fear, I bet you do, is I'm just afraid of saying something fucking stupid and embarrassing myself. Yeah, it's really embarrassing. That's like what I'm afraid of, just being like a fucking idiot in front of the doctors. It's just you and the doctors though, right? Yeah. I think, I believe so, yeah.

Don't let them record it. I don't know if you do speak in Twilight. Yeah, you're interacting with people. You just can't feel anything and you're just not like. And then you truly don't remember after. Some people do, some people don't, but they're like, I don't remember making decisions to say things or do that, but I guess I did.

That kind of thing. Kind of like a zombie sort of state, I guess. Yeah. It's the way it's supposed to go is like, you close your eyes, you open them and it's done. Yeah, right. That's how it's supposed, you're supposed to experience it. I don't know, because I've known most people,

they're awake. Fuckin' shit. I don't know, it'll be fine. Whatever happens, it'll be fine. You're gonna be fine. Yeah, it's gonna be fine. Maybe for like, getting your wisdom teeth out, but I think for a colon. I don't know, it'll be fine. Whatever happens, it'll be fine. Yeah, it's gonna be fine. Maybe for like getting your wisdom teeth out. No, wisdom teeth, you're knocked out. I thought for a colonoscopy,

you are fully not supposed to remember it. Many people I know have watched it. That's what happened to me. I have heard of this. Maybe those people had a single-inocent. I remember watching it the first time when I did it as a kid. Yeah, people watch it. I haven't done it forever.

And I don't even remember. They probably don't want to put kids fully under. Fully under, yeah. I was 15, 14, 15. But I know adults who watched their own. Maybe it depends on what time you get. Maybe that's content. Maybe I'll get a copy of-

I think maybe these people had snake pornoscopies. I think maybe these people had snake pornoscopies. We have a little video nasty. Is that a porno? Video nasty? Is it porn? Sounds like a porno. No, it's just what they called R-rated movies. All right, yeah, it's like a video nasty.

I'm gonna bring it in. Literally, it's a video nasty. I'm gonna bring it in. Anyways, I don't think I can go to the wall tonight. It's fine, I understand. Instamation. Where are you gonna see it at? It's bad.

In the videos. Oh, that's fun. Did you know that that- All in all, there's another brick in my pants. I was just saying that's what could happen. He's back, that was good. Yeah. Did you know, I found this out recently,

did you know that Pink Floyd's The Wall lost the best album Grammy to Christopher Cross's self-titled debut? That's so funny. That's so funny. Yeah, it's true. Wow. That's so insane.

I mean, I like Christopher Cross, but what does that, was it have a ride like the wind and sailing? It's basically got all of his hits are on one album. It's a good album. It's a great album for Christopher Cross. It's not, it's not the wall. It's not the wall.

That's insane. Mitch, wanna know one of my favorite sounds? Here it is. That's the sound I hear when I'm learning a new language with Babbel. And if you want to learn a new language this year, I guarantee it will be one of your favorite sounds too. Be your better you with Babbel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors or waste hours on apps that don't

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Thanks nerd. Mitch, it's been so hot lately. And you know what I want on a hot day? A cold summer treat. That's right, you know what? An ice cold glass of lemonade could be nice. How fun is that? How about an ice cold brew dog?

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you like that Popsicle Fire Cracker. Wags, I do. I tried the popsicle firecracker and I love it. It tastes like I'm looking at a popsicle firecracker on a hot summer day. Wow. I love it. I like strawberry. That's my go-to. I'm a strawberry guy.

Rainbow sherbet. It reminds me when I was with my grandma and she used to take me for some rainbow sherbet as a boy. Wags, delicious. How fun is that? It's great for during a workout, long flights, hot days outside, and hey, can help you stay hydrated while traveling, going to summer festivals, or maybe after a night out. Wags, I'll tell you, I had a night in last night and I ended my night with a nice cold glass of

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Lindsay Katai and Kelly Nugent, returning to the pod. So great to have you back. Have we had you in the main feed before? I can't remember. Yes. Yeah, once we did one double one main feed and then I did another double. That's right.

And then you did another double. That's right, yeah. Well, you're here for some real bullshit today. Yeah. As you can see from this plate in front of you that has a piece of broccoli on it. This is great. We are in the-

You know what's funny is that I was going to be like, I'm going to eat some broccoli, and I can't actually even eat broccoli. I can't eat it. Yeah. I can't eat any, they say, no small vegetables. You can't eat salad. You can eat small vegetables.

Yeah, you can't eat no small, truly no small, no salads, no tomatoes, onions. Is good stuff a fibrous content What's the issue? Yeah, and it's got to be see-through mostly which is crazy because that's why I brought in shit chips crackers and cheese It's like light colored foods, and then you go into like fully like opaque food what and I am actually weirdly hungry I don't know why that,

I don't know if my stomach is emptying out for the first time in forever. That's probably what it is. Should you, do you wanna eat something? You can snack on something. I might have a cracker and cheese as we go along, but no, this morning was rough and it lasted till about 10 minutes

into our scheduled record time basically. It's working out. Yeah, it's working out. about 10 minutes into our scheduled record time, basically. But yeah, it's working out. Yeah, it's working out. And also, did you see the, did you see the, was it called the Sopranos? The Sopranos truck that's outside? The Sopranos food truck is outside. The Sopranos deli, it's called the Sopranos deli.

Yeah, the Sopranos deli truck is outside. I did not see that. What does it serve? It's a Soprano-themed sandwich, it looked like. Interesting justice. That's, I was trying to think of like, I did what does it serve? themed sandwiches Justice that's Cold fishes or something It's probably like big pussies pastrami Ruben it's things like that It's one of the characters yeah, yeah, yeah Why was it you made it you picked. You made it gross for whatever.

The first guy that came to mind. You could have picked calm or like. That's true, yeah. Or just like tease. I don't know, I hear to cramp cramp. Big pussy's pastrami sandwich. Oh my God. It does sound gross.

Big pussy's roast beef. Look, you're a comedian. Your mind went to the funniest choice first. I guess so. Okay, I want to talk about, because it's August, we're in the Garden of Eden, all month long, we're talking about vegetables in the main feed, fruit in the Patreon feed.

I want to get to that. Before we do that, we're sitting next to Jemmy here, who Kelly is petting. Jemmy is taking a nap. I make him a sandwich he can't refuse. That's good. That's really good. I mean, it's not in some products.

It's still good. It's the kind of thing Sylvia would say. He was always quoting mob movies. That's good. We were talking before Mitch arrived about everyone's cats and dogs. K-Ti, you got Edwin. Kelly, you got Noodle, LH and Hook.

What's the cat and dog situation with each of you? Like what do you have? What's the spread? One dog, Hook, two cats, LH, standing for little Henry, and Noodle. Cute. And they get along. Yeah, that's great.

We get to get like a house where there's like a lot of good chemistry between the animals. You don't want to burn with each other. And Edwin, I know, has lost some teeth recently. Edwin did lose some teeth recently. He's 10 or 11. He's a, we think, a Chihuahua-beagle mix, maybe a Chihuahua-chewiney, but we think a Cheagle.

He just got 15 teeth taken out. He had 15 teeth taken out in 2020 or 2021. So he's only got seven left. This is a stressor episode for me. Yeah, Jemmy actually woke up while you were saying that. I got nervous. LH and Edwin are like syncing with the teeth situation. Yeah, they are. Because every time one of them gets teeth taken out,

the other one also gets teeth taken out. Yeah, it's like syncing menstrual cycles. Yes, but for teeth, it's every couple years. Yeah, teeth cycles. Are they it's like sinking menstrual cycles. Yes, but for teeth, and it's every couple years. Yeah, teeth cycles. Poor Edwin, no. Are they similar ages? LH is 14. Okay, yeah, yeah. Teeth sinking. Seniors, they're both seniors.

They're both seniors. And Edwin really does not get along with my daughter, Ramona. Question for you, I am afraid to get Wally and Irma's teeth clean. Yeah. No, no, no. Don't let that stop you. Do it.

In fact, do it more often because this is what prevents them from needing that many teeth out. Okay. Is the cleaning. Because also feline resorption, that's like such a thing. Like that's why LH has, she only has like two little bottom fangs left and then like tiny front teeth. And then I think one molar.

Oh my God. But here's the thing. I'm afraid to put them under. It's, how old are they? LH just went under and she's 14. and then I think one molar. Oh my god. But here's the thing. I'm afraid to put them under. How old are they? They're eight. LH just went under and she's 14. She was fine.

Okay. I might wait a year or two. I'll see what happens. Go to a good vet. No, no, don't wait. Don't wait? Don't wait. Well, the daughter said that Irma's teeth is good.

The vet said that Irma's teeth is good and then she said Wally's like kind of bad but that he could maybe get it soon. Well, here's the thing is that's what Arvet told us. And then when we did the full anesthetic teeth cleaning, they were like, we were like, I thought his teeth looked fine. They were like, yeah, they did look fine. But we don't really know until we go under the gum line.

And I'm like, then why the fuck did you tell me they looked fine if you knew that you couldn't actually assess the teeth unless you did a full cleaning. And then our fucking pet insurance denied our claim because it had been more than 13 months since we'd done the last anesthetic cleaning. And I didn't know that that was a rule. Also for cats, the gum resorption thing

is that the root gets like eaten by the gums. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can't see it. Yeah. So I don't know, it might be worth it. They'll be fine. I've talked to two people who's had situations where they put their pet on her and they passed.

Oh my God. Yeah. What? Is that why you're scared? Yeah, that's why I'm terrified. So I know that it's rare. So I know it's rare, but still, it scares me. That is scary.

Yeah, so I've been brushing, I got the cat toothpaste and the finger scrubs. No, it's very hard with Wally. I got them greenies treats that are also dental treats. But also, speaking of this. Wait, did you try the cat toothpaste? What's it flavored like? No, I didn't try the fucking cat toothpaste.

It's like tuna flavored. They're like chicken and tuna. You think it's minty? Usually food. Nobody has peanut butter flavored toothpaste. Aw, I didn't try the fucking cat toothpaste. It's like tuna flavored. You think it's minty? Usually food. Nobody has peanut butter flavored toothpaste. That's the thing, I'd be curious to try the animal toothpaste. We'll do it on a double at some point. Oh, I love it.

T, can you believe this? Gluten-free bread. They whacked the glutes. Okay. I thought it was fucking gold. Adriana eats that shit. I can't tolerate it See I'm silent cuz I've never seen the soprano Oh! Okay, well, this has been so fun. Thanks, guys. Get out of here. Go sit in the Prado. Go get the truck. Yeah, watch out for the truck.

They got a plane in the truck. You told a story before the podcast started about... I mean, do you want to just repeat what happened to you? Yeah, we're definitely staying in kind of a medical sort of area, but I think that's just where everyone's brains were in advance of Mr. Kord. I've got more if you guys remember. Yeah, we were very medically forward at the beginning. Yeah, well, we're all of a certain age.

So yeah, well, because I had mentioned, oh, that I'm normally fine to go to the dentist, but occasionally I get scared because one time I went in and I thought everything was fine and the dentist was like, oh, you have like bone loss behind your front teeth. And we don't know what that is. And her first question to me was, do you have a history of like oral cancer in your family? And I was like, no.

And she's like, hmm, okay, well, we're probably gonna have to pull out all your front teeth. And I was like, no, and she's like, hmm, okay, well, we're probably gonna have to pull out all your front teeth. And I was like. Oh my God. That is such a leap. Because she was like, it's just gonna keep growing and it's gonna eat all of your teeth, like the roots. Jesus. And I was like, whoa, that sounds crazy.

And she's like, well, I'll send you to a root canal specialist. So the root canal specialist, of course, obsessed with root canals, wanted to root canal all my front teeth. And I was like, again, this seems kind of crazy. So I went to an oral surgeon in Beverly Hills and he had a CT scan thing.

So he just CT scanned my head and he was like, okay, well, it's not touching your roots yet. So let's just take it out and we'll do a bone graft and we'll see what it is. And I was like, well, what could it be? And he's like, well, it could be a couple things. And I was like, well, could it be cancer? And he was like, maybe, but I don't think so.

So then I get put on your- They're not confident enough for me. It's horrifying. And so it was like, we're gonna find out what it is when they scoop it out and also like do bone grafts like all along the back of the heart. That's such a much more responsible response to me. It's like, well, let's test it.

Let's investigate and then decide. Also, okay, the fricking root canal guy was like, cause I was like, well, he's like, I can't tell if it's reached your like root yet. If it's gonna like, if it's like killing these teeth. And I was like, well, how can we find out? He's like, well, you could get a CT scan or like, I don't have one, so I'll just have to go in.

And I was like- I'll just have to take your face off. Yeah, I literally was like, okay, I'm gonna like go get a CT scan. So I went and did that. Let's do the first thing that you thought of. The normal thing. Instead of the insane second thing.

So then I go in and like, like I'm very nervous. Cause I'm like, what is it? Like, what could it be? Blah, blah, blah. And as I'm coming out, I'm still like out of it. But I do remember like seeing the doctor and like grabbing him and being like, what was it? And I have like gauze like, I'm like, what was in my mouth?

And he was like, it was just a bunch of teeth. And then walks away and I was like, huh? And then later he like sat down with me and he's like, so that was a twin. So like you, when you were in the womb, like subsumed a twin cell and it was just dormant in your body and then eventually it began forming

and sometimes people get them like in their like leg and it'll be like hair and teeth and stuff like. Oh my God. Right. Yeah, but and teeth and stuff. Like, yeah. But so this was like crazy places. At least yours was growing where it should be. Yeah, teeth and teeth. And then so it's fine now. Your twin was smarter than other people's twins.

Trying to grow out of a knee. I mean, it's my twin after all. You consumed, a dough boy's first, you consumed your twin. In the womb, yeah. I also consumed my twin. I was like three or four months old. You're like, baby hungry. Swirking down. Spaghetti. Delicious. Little leg going in my mouth. I guess I don't have

to give a visual of a baby's leg going in a baby's mouth. That is truly a wild story. It's actually pretty common. A lot of people have them. They don't, I think the thing is, they don't really know what it is, because they're just like, oh, sometimes it's just like tooth cells. And it's like, yeah, but that wasn't from you.

Because it would have grown. Yes. Because your tooth cell grew as normal teeth. Yeah. It is crazy to grew as normal teeth. Yeah. It is crazy to think there's a world where there's an exact copy of you basically. They're like, my best friend. And in this world, it's just like, it's spare teeth.

Yeah, and they just like, toss them in the trash. Put it in the frickin' dumpster. Yeah, in another world, it was just like your closest companion. And we had our own language. We shared all of your secrets. Had your own language. You like, issued other relationships

in favor of one another. Swap clothes in school, that's a lot of fun. Yeah, but my twin's a dumpster. Yeah, but my twin is literal trash. It's literal garbage, pumping the sewer. Well, we're happier here instead of that evil twin of yours. Thank you, I'm actually the evil one. Oh boy.

Okay, I have a question for you which is focused, go on Mitch, what are you saying? I was just gonna say, you make have a question for you, which is focused. Go on, Mitch. I was going to say, you make a good point about, like, Doughboys is now being like, my colonoscopy tomorrow, it just sucks. We're getting old. Maybe by the time when we're having to have, you know. Fitted for coffins.

Exactly. Yeah. I was going to say, procedures on our assholes. That's next week. That might be time to rethink the format of the podcast. Yeah. Possibility. I mean, I think it's been going on for too long. That might be time to rethink the format of the podcast. Yeah, there's a possibility. I mean, I think it's been going on for too long.

It's good we're doing this. This is like, there's a lot of cleansing effect for the month of August. I mean, my God. Exactly, look at that big bunch of broccoli that's on our table in the video feed. Look at that thing, cancer preventer. It's true.

I want it before we get to that. Broccoli? Mm. I can't eat it today. Shit out of luck. You're fucked. Today's the day you were gonna get cancer. There's no way.

Dear God. Of all days. It happens on one day. It happens just one day. Yeah, just go to a CT scan. It's just where it falls. Yeah. I wanna ask about something particular to teen creeps,

because we have been, y'all discuss YA fiction on your podcast, a lot of fun to do, and... Or torture. Yeah, it's fun. It's genuinely fun to guest on, because I'm reading stuff that I would never read otherwise, and then we get to talk about it.

But we've been talking about a thing on the Doughboys for a while, which is the Mitch One Book Challenge. We're trying to get Mitch to read one book in a calendar year. And I have a pitch. I'd be with us. I have my own pitch, which is I think Stephen King's Carrie would be a good one.

Yeah, it's short too. It's a horror movie. It's a great horror movie adaptation. It's a horror book. And yes, it's a short. It's under 300 pages. So I think that's very manageable. It's one of the shortest ones.

But I'm curious if you all have anything, and not to put you too much on the spot, but if anything comes to mind, it's like, oh, that would be a good one for Mitch to tackle I know you like horror, but that's a big genre you're into what else you into You know remember that story about the lady pushing on Lindsay's stomach and saying go poop poop This is what it feels like Well then you should read misery. Oh there you go Oh there you go

That was the reference that Annie Wilkes is a character in Stephen King's Misery who like And that is a great one too I walked in the door by the way the else old to make me feel but I would not Feel bad. It was very kind I'm an Amelia like we could put a we could put an out of order sign on the door in the bathroom for you, which was so kind. And I was horrified. I was like, no, don't fucking do this.

Don't. We weren't gonna tell anybody. We put up a sign that's like Mitch only. No girls allowed. Mitch's potty. If it said Mitch only, people would know what the deal was. If you put out of order on a bathroom, what would happen is at a certain point, you would walk out of the bathroom with the out of order sign,

just as a head gum hunk was looking at you. Yes. Like, all right, let's see what happened. Or a head gum hunk would go in there and try to repair the toilet, because they also are handy, and they're good at fucking everything. The head gum hunks, I don't know if you guys know about them, but it's mostly the office. A lot of attractive people.

A lot of attractive people that work here. They're good at everything. They're just, they're like different species from us, basically. Yeah. And then we have a little cave for the dough boys. Guys can hide in here. No windows, don't worry. In fact, we'll cover up every window there is.

That is what happened over the, and then you got shades installed in the other studio. It's true, and I think that's helpful. I am very nervous about today. My stomach is hurting again. Just to let everyone know. Yeah, sorry. No, I'm sorry.

I want to, this probably didn't help. I want to dinner, speaking of teen creeps, this is not a teen creep. It's a teen heartthrob. Mm. I went to dinner with your lovely husband the other night. He is a heartthrob.

And we saw, what the hell is his name? Jimmy Angel. Jimmy Angel, teen heartthrob. Which, it's funny, he's 89 years old, but he was great, Wiggs. Yeah, he was apparently- You were invited. I was invited.

It was you, Mike Carlson and Susser all went, right? And you saved a chair for me, which was very nice. But I was like, but it was starting at like 9 p.m. I was like, I can't go to that. We took a photo of the empty chair and sent it to Wiggs, which I don't think he responded to. I didn't see it till the next morning. Tim Chang also came by for 20 minutes.

Wow. That is always how Tim Chang sees that show, is he comes by for like the last 20 minutes. Yeah. At like midnight. He came by for 20 minutes, he ate all of our vegetables, for sure. And then he went to like a dance party.

It was very funny. Tim Chang is young. He is young, he's young. It was a great show. He was a great young. He is, he is young. He's young. It was a great show. He was a great performer. He kept talking about how like, James Dean, my friend, the best actor there ever was. And then he's like,

we're across from the best studio in the world, Warner Brothers Studio. He was doing this. It was great. If you ever get to the smokehouse, which I had a great meal at once. Legendary restaurant in Burbank. I had a great...

Probably historic spot. This is kind of, this is controversial. I think I had a better meal there than. Legendary restaurant in Burbank. I had a great- Lovely historic spot. Yeah. This is kind of, this is controversial. I think I had a better meal there than my last Mousseau and Frank's. Wow, okay. Wow. But it was a good meal at Smokehouse. And-

Two heavy Hollywood hitters. That's true, yeah. That's true. And then I walked by the Shatner booth. Uh-huh. That's it. Oh. Gave a little salute. I can't tell the story about the Shatner booth. Uh-huh. That's it. You know the Shatner booth?

I can't tell the story about the Shatner booth. Why would you bring it up? Because there are trees. Mitch has a story that he wants to tell that he told once that I made, I edited it out of the podcast because it was told to me in confidence, but there's a Shatner booth

and there's something to do with Shatner booth. Okay. Yeah. I mean, you should- Mitch really wants to say it. I do want to say it, but we don't have to say it. It's his one colonoscopy wish. You have to let him say it. That's where William Shatner had a colonoscopy. You know, Mitch, most Americans think they spend

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And we're back. We're back. The story was told. It was worth it. It was worth it. And we're back. We're back. The story was told. The story was told. It was worth it. It was worth it. So everyone knows.

Okay, we're talking fruits and vegetables this month. I'm curious, the two of you. It's healthy month. Wait, what are we calling it? Healthy month. Garden of Eaton. Oh, fuck. That's the name of it.

You guys have the most? There was this one, I don't remember if I commented, because I feel kind of dorky commenting on anything, on Instagram, but the puns that you guys had going for one of your months, like there were like 12 puns all in one month seemingly, and I was just like so impressed by how good, I was like, I kept laughing and I usually don't think puns are that funny. I usually don't like puns either, but your guys' puns are good. I was like, I kept laughing, and I usually don't think puns are that funny. I usually don't like puns either,

but your guys' puns are good. They're just like, it kept hitting me in waves. I was like, this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It was just like so many puns. Was it Doe Kiero? Was it a talk? Yeah. What was it, the whole thing?

Doe Kiero talk. Oh, god. For whom the bell does, Munch Madness 2024, the tournament of champions, Doe Quiero talk-o-bell. That's what it was, yeah. That's so good. It was that final talk-o-bell

that I was just like, this is a masterpiece. Look, that was a collab. Everyone chimed in on the text thread. It takes a village. We do that a lot. We will go like, just craft a real nightmare of a portmanteau. We made it the longest title possible.

I think that's why your guys are funny though, because you're embracing the chaos and you're just like putting like, Gilded Lily on Gilded Lily on Gilded Lily. Yeah, that's actually, yeah. I like that. One is not funny. One is, go fucking die.

Shut the fuck up. I hate that. And 12 is like, just, I can't talk to you. Because I like, okay, the vibe of a normal pun is like, and I'm like, go die. Then your Because I like, okay, the vibe of a normal pun is like, and I'm like, go die. Then your guy says like, and I'm like,

oh, I actually do, I respect that, I like that, it's funny. That's very kind of you to say, but I disagree, I think it sucks. They're bad, they're awful. But we should, that does, we should push Garden of Eaton a little bit then. We needed like Garden of Eaton colon, like salad days are here again or something like colon. Yeah.

Salad Days are here again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Salad Days was the original pitch for the month, so we could just use both pitches. Oh, there you go. Salad Days colon the Garden of Eden. Yeah, I wanna be. We'll figure out something else.

I want like five more just like shoved in there with like an intense energy. It is easy being green. Yeah. Salad Days are here again, H-E-A-R are here, like we're here listening to podcasts. Right, like we're hearing, like you're listening to podcasts. Yeah. Salad days are here again. H-E-A-R are here. Like we're here listening to podcasts. Like you're listening to podcasts.

Salad days are here. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we can- Salad days are here, a pod. It's good. Oh, like peas? The green podster, like the green monster.

The green podster? Yeah. What? Like the green monster at- At Federal. I mean, I love the green monster, but where does the green monster come in? We're just pitching here. All right, green, I like the green monster.

We're gonna keep brainstorming. It's gonna be good. We'll figure all that out. Yeah. Whatever it is. Is this our Jump the Shark month? It might be. But look, I'm dying.

We're dying. We can't. We're dying. We're fucking dying. We need to stop. We're taking, we're doing a health month. Fucking eat the vegetable and tell us what you think about the fucking vegetable. We're dying, we're dying, we can't. We're dying. We're fucking dying, we need to stop. We're taking, we're doing a health month.

Fucking eat the vegetable and tell us what you think about the fucking vegetable. For God sakes, we're dying. And if you don't like it, shut the fuck up. We don't wanna hear it. Yeah, we don't care. Yeah, we don't care. Because we're fucking dying.

We're fucking dying. I turned 42 last week. Oh, happy birthday. It's hard. It's hard. HBD. Thank you so much. I'm joining you in that, I'm joining you in the 42 club this year. I's hard. HBD. It's hard. Thank you so much.

I'm joining you in that. I'm joining you in the 42 club this year. I'm 43. How about that? Hey. What fun ages we all are. You were talking this morning. Shut up, Kelly.

I won't speak. You were doing age math this morning and the answer would have been depressing. You don't have to say it in specifics. Oh, yeah. Figuring out that I was closer in age to my friend's mom than my friend. That was interesting. Yeah. My younger friend. Oh my God. My boyfriend and his brother are like pretty,

I mean they're far apart in age, but also like I think that the older brother just looked tired that day and they were selling something from their studio. And the person that came was like, oh, can you get your son to help? And like thought that they were father and son instead of brothers eight years apart.

Oh man, that sucks. Yeah, he was pretty depressed about that actually. I like that, like I think it's kind of fun when there's a family that's like a brother that's 12 years, you know like. Yeah, that's fun. It's like sometimes it's like. Or like a young uncle, you want a young uncle sometimes.

You're talking about young uncles too. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I think it's fun, like sometimes it's like, ooh, like a little, as people call it, but then sometimes you're just like a staggered family where there's one who's like 15 years older than the youngest one or whatever. Well, a lot of those are like,

a lot of those are not actually, you know what I mean, okay, how do I put this? You know what I'm saying. There's some half siblings or something. Where they're like, oh, the girl went to camp for a year and she came back and oh my gosh, now she has a baby sister. But it's like the mom is saying that's her child. Oh, that's always, yeah.

Like the plot of Andy Mack. Leilani Bowden started. I didn't realize that was the premise. Yeah, sorry to give away. Oh, is that kind of a- It happens in the first episode. They tell you in the first episode. But yeah, she thinks she, Andy Mack thinks she has this just is that kind of a... I mean, it happens in the first episode. They tell you in the first episode, but yeah, she thinks she,

Andy Mack thinks she has this just like very cool older sister, Bex, who Leelon plays, but Bex was actually her mother. Oh. Wow. What would it reveal if I was your son at the end of the child voice? Shut up. What kind of problems was that? That's why you guys have such an antagonistic relationship.

Yeah. It's actually a father-son and not friends. That's always fucking right of me. Fucking asshole. I'm trying to do the math. I don't think it's plausible. Well, you'd have to be younger is the thing. Oh yeah. Maybe I'm secretly younger. Yeah. Your parents told you you were about to turn 42, but you're actually 32. Yeah, that would work.

I'm not sure. It would be sad, but you're actually 32. Yeah, that would work. I'm not sure. It would be sad, but it would work. It would be really sad. It would be sad if you believed it. I guess if they hit you in the head every day for 10 years and you didn't remember those 10 years. It would also be sad, because then that means that Weiger became a father.

Oh, man. Yeah. Was this a May,December sort of situation? What's going on here? I don't know. I have no idea what's happening here. Let's not decide. Yeah, let's not dig into this.

Because it's not real. And we don't have to. No, it's making us do this. It's true. You know what, though? I got faith in 11-year-old Weiger that he can pull it off. Oh, my God. I want to see a fanfic.

Okay, I'm curious. I want to hear from everybody. What is your most despised vegetable? Is there anything where, because a lot of people are like, I just hate this one thing. And I'm not sure if I have a clean answer for myself. I would say I'm maybe generally less enthusiastic

about cabbage than other vegetables, even though I would not rule cabbage out of my diet. But is there anything that really, really revolts you or something you don't wanna see in your play? I'm gonna say this, normally this is the villain right here. Mitch is holding up broccoli in his hand. Broccoli, which by the way, we were gonna hold it and pass it around. This is genuinely a part of what Weigar said.

He said, we're gonna have a piece of broccoli, we're gonna hold it, look at it and pass it around. This is the truth. Kind of like the conch in... Oh yeah, in Northernourn of Flies. Well then do you wanna answer your, so that's your enemy? This is not my enemy, my enemy actually, man, my vegetable, my least favorite vegetable,

my vegetable enemy, I don't know, I don't have a lot of problems with almost any veggies. I like, it depends on how they're prepared, you know what I mean, for me, I don't think a lot of problems with almost any veggies. I like, it depends on how they're prepared. You know what I mean? For me, I don't think that there's any, I don't love, what are those little, the little tiny, p-

Not peas, they're like peas. But no, they don't- Edamame? Not edamame. No, they have like a much crazier taste to them. Okay, are they green? Lentils? No, not lentils. They're kind of- Capers? Capers. Okay, are they green? Lentils? No, not lentils.

Capers? Capers. Oh, you don't like capers? I don't like capers that much. I don't love a caper. Oh, I love capers. That's a veggie, right? I like capers.

I'm not sure if they'd actually... Fuck. I think probably. Are they like a berry? It's almost like a seasoning. Yeah, I think of it more like black pepper or something. Yeah. They're technically a fruit.

What the frick? You're an unripened flower buds of a caper bush. Okay, I'm gonna get really, I'm gonna soap box for a second. Cause I don't like when people do this when they're like tomato is a fruit actually, or like this kind of thing. I'm like, yeah, technically sure.

Technically anything with seeds is a fruit, taxonomy wise. But if we're talking about colloquially, when we think of what is salty and what is sweet, yeah, we're gonna talk about how tomato, I'm sorry, that's a fucking vegetable. I'm sorry, I get really pissed. I get really fucking pissed on that shit. Don't fuck with me on that.

I'm really glad this has never come up on the podcast because it's a fucking fruit, Kelly. Is it really in the crowd? How? So when you eat it, do you eat it in, like would you put it in a, uh, like in a cupcake? Oh fuck. You don't just put any old fruit in a cupcake necessarily.

Okay, so when you eat it, okay, so when you have a salad, you are having a salad. You are having a salad. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Fruit by your own personal preferences. My own personal preferences? I'm always fucking right. I just can't help it. It's hard to be judgmental when you're always right. Here's what I'll say. It's impossible not to be judgmental if you think you're always right. Here's what I'll say. It's impossible not to be judgmental if you think you're always right.

No, what are you talking about? Fruit is a, okay, I'm sorry. Tomatoes are not fruit. Tomatoes are not fruit. I've been told they're a fruit. By whom? By whom? By everyone who knows.

By fruit doctors everywhere. Technically yes, a fruit. However, you give me a salad, are you gonna be like, oh, there's fruit in that salad? If there's a fucking tomato in there? No, that's an average normal salad. Average normal salad.

I, you know what? I just think that we can't decide what's a fruit based on our own personal preference. It's not personal. It's not personal. Okay. It's fine. I was, I was. This is how our guests feel a lot of the time.

We've never fought about anything and it's this and it's here. You guys brought it to us. It's true. It's the Doughboys. I agree with Kelly, I'm sorry. I don't want me to divide this couch. And I feel like the people, all the guys in the Sopranos truck are probably going crazy for this too.

Because I think- Whatever tomato's on trick. I think tomato's a veggie, come on. It's a veggie. Here's my feeling on it is what the fuck does it matter? That's why, like, who cares? Call it a fruit, you put it on a salad. Why does it matter? Scientists can fucking, like, who cares? Call it a fruit, you put it on a salad. Why does it matter?

Scientists can fucking, the scientists need to fucking back off. Okay, I don't normally care. It's when people, when you, like, offhand, you go, when you go, oh yeah, a vegetable, like tomato, and they're like, actually, it's a fruit. I'm like, go away from me. Don't speak to me and don't look at me.

I'm fine with that because my issue is that, like, it shouldn't matter so much. Who is? It doesn't matter. The issue is when other people make it matter. Get out of my fucking face with this shit. I can call it a fucking vegetable because it's colloquial.

Conover's gonna pop up from behind the couch. I know, I know. He's pacing, he's like making circles on the floor like a cartoon character. He's like, but yours are red though, what's going on? No, it's true, like I'm like, it doesn't really matter, but like you are being really like, well, here's our ranch. What's going on? No, it's true. It doesn't really matter. But you are being really like, why do you have to, actually, it's a fruit to me.

I get what you're saying. Because you're talking in the specific context of someone's like, oh, I love tomatoes. They're my favorite vegetables. And someone like, correct me. Did you know that that's a fruit? Exactly. OK.

That's just being pedantic. But I do agree. Yeah, it is a fruit. You're both right. It is a fruit in that a zucchini is also a fruit. Did you know that? Because it has seeds. Anything that has seeds is a fruit. OK're both right. It is a fruit in that like a zucchini is also a fruit. Did you know that? Cause it has seeds. Anything that has seeds is a fruit.

Okay. I can't get behind that. It is, but that's what I'm saying. 11 year old wives. When you're looking at the- You're right. I have personal feelings about what makes a fruit or a vegetable. Yes.

And I don't like being told. You're right. No. Kelly's right. I'm back with Kelly. We've made amends. You guys, I think that this is perfect. I think this is great. Hopefully very cathartic for both of you. It's okay.

I said 11 year old Wags had seeds. Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you, I was screaming. Sorry. I'm glad we've backtracked and make sure that we got that one in. I know, I know. I got the broccoli here in my hand. That's right.

I think that you guys should just settle this fight by doing like a wishbone with the broccoli. Whoever gets the bigger piece of the broccoli wins. Oh, interesting. But I think every vegetable for me, it's that sort of thing. What vegetable is your enemy? I think every vegetable is. But then it can also be my best friend. I, I, I, I, it depends on just how they're, and

some I like more than others, of course, but it depends on how they're prepared. I can love broccoli and then like, if I took a bite of this, it would be hell. I wouldn't want to eat this at all. Yeah, it would be miserable. But here you go. I'm going to pass it around as we've decided

to do for this month. Piggy's got the conch now. What are you feeling, Lindsay, when you hold that? I feel like I'm getting married. I feel like I'm about to walk down the aisle with my little bouquet. It's party. It's a flowery little vegetable.

Very flowery. There's conflicting information online about what the name actually comes from or means in Italian because I saw one thing that said it was like a flower of the cabbage or whatever. And then I saw another thing that says it means little arms and I was like, well, you guys decide. I don't know.

That's so like different too. When it comes to a vegetable I was like, well, you guys decide, I don't know. That's so different too. But when it comes to a vegetable I don't like or is my enemy, I agree with Mitch. It just depends on how it's prepared because I hate, I fucking despise raw red onion and it's in so many salsas. Because it's like, it's biting me back. It's just like so spicy and unpleasant,

but I love a cooked red onion or a pickled red onion is like so delicious. So, and I think it just depends on how the thing is made. Yeah. I moved away from red onion a lot. I like a white onion more so, but red onions can still be good. Yeah, I love red onions.

You gotta rinse them. Yeah. To get rid of the, it's so strong. But if you rinse it, it gets rid of like 50% of the. Well, it's not being rinsed in most cases, friend. And I always ask for less. Cause no one ever wants more. It's just like, it's so much in a guacamole.

It's like, it's all that I taste in a lot of places. And it's big chunks too. And I'm like, what are we doing? And I don't like, I have that soap gene for cilantro. Okay, sure. But that's actually less offensive to me than a raw red onion. I'd rather have the taste of soap than red onion.

And that stays too, the red onion stays. Yeah. Kelly, you got a vegetable that, and as you take the broccoli bouquet, do you have a vegetable that you dislike? I will eat pretty much anything. I'm not very picky, but I really don't like raw baby carrots. Too wet, too mealy.

What's happening with that? But I'll still eat it. Cause like if it's out, I'm like, okay. I actually think it's fully insane to include raw broccoli in a crudite platter. Yes. Because that's crazy. No one's gonna eat that. And I used to work on this.

Like eating packing peanuts. Yes, and. It's so unpleasant. And you'll see it a lot in like a grocery store, like vegetable tray will have raw broccoli. It is a classic, yeah, crudite. And I used to work on the show where someone would bring every day for crafty a thing of crudite and it had like raw, these guys in it, broccoli.

And I was like, I'm not fucking with that. And then someone would open it at 10 a.m. every day and in the room would smell like farts because it's like, you know when it's like kind of old broccoli. So I don't really like raw broccoli and I really don't like raw carrots, but I love a roasted carrot.

I like carrot juice. Well, do you only dislike raw baby carrots? Cause I dislike raw baby carrots, but I really like a raw carrot, like an actual, I don't know why we're doing it. Cause baby carrots aren't a real thing. They're like mushed up carrots made to look like in a little, like, like they go through a factory.

And yeah, and they come out looking like a fat little finger. And I just don't know why we're doing that to carrots when carrots are perfectly delicious as they are. I just, I don't know. I don't really like even like raw carrot sticks that much, but I will eat them. Like that is the thing. Like pretty much anything, if it's in front of me,

I'll eat it. So, but I'm not like, ooh, yummy carrots. I like celery more. Also baby carrots are like actually pretty big, pretty decent size. They're not really big. Like it's weird to call them baby. It's like they're normal sized.

They're very normal size wise, right? Yeah, yeah, sure. Normal size compared to what? Regular carrots. I don't know, they're pretty small. Yeah, I don't know, they're pretty small. Yeah, I don't know. They're pretty small. I don't know.

You're sweating a lot. The colonoscopy stuff. I think a lot of people think after the Doughboys come out of the studio, they're like, did you have a bunch of raw broccoli in there? I think that's kind of the smell we give off. Yeah, it is too. Which today will be literal.

This one actually doesn't smell that bad. I smelled it. No, this smells floral. Must be pretty fresh. Exactly, yeah. You got your nose right in there. No, you gotta. Why not actually doesn't smell that bad. I smelled it. No, this smells- It smells pretty fresh. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, your nose right in there. No, you gotta. Why not?

Because you gotta smell it. Are you gonna take a bite of it? I'm not gonna take a bite of it, but I will say that this is, I'm holding the raw broccoli now. And I actually really like broccoli. I have always been a fan of broccoli, even as a kid having,

and I think this happens to a lot of, you know, I think a lot of white American households, the green vegetables they were getting when they were growing up in our generation was... Were cooked by Great Depression survivors. Exactly. It was boiled or it was steamed, and it was oftentimes not seasoned. But still in that state, I was still enjoying broccoli,

and oftentimes it was accompanied by a cheese sauce, which is a big part of it, which we'll talk in a second. I love that. I do love the broccoli juice. When I was a kid, I remember when we were learning to read, one of the first books I read was like, I Eat Beets or something. It was about hating beets.

Yeah. It was like beets are gross. And I never even thought beets were gross, but then reading that, I was like, oh, beets are gross. And I didn't try them for a long time. That was the last Mitch One Book Challenge. I'm just kidding. I know.

I'm just kidding, hi, Beets. I revisited it a couple years ago, it holds up. But that to me, and now, this is getting older, you love beets and there's different preparations for all of these. Broccoli, I mean, it's funny, because I've had great broccoli. And there's broccoli, we go to Sidewalk Grill a lot.

There's a great- Little broccoli salad they do there. Little broccoli salad there, yeah. That's a lot of fun. I was gonna say that, and as far as a despised vegetable, I'm generally pretty, I enjoy most things, but for whatever reason, I've never really liked baby corn in any kind.

Ugh! I find baby corn in any context. Ugh! Ugh, it's because it's canned. What the hell is going on with that? Cornichon is the other name for it? No, Cornichon is a little pickle. Sorry. Yeah, the baby corn specifically. And I've had it both cooked and raw

and I've never liked it in any context. Yeah, I've never enjoyed that either. Or if there's a dish I like that has baby corn, it's despite its presence. It's at best a neutral. I would say if there is a way to prepare that that I would like, I have yet enjoyed that either. Or if there's a dish I like that has baby corn, it's despite its presence. It's at best a neutral. I would say if there is a way to prepare that that I would like, I have yet to have it. Water chestnuts, I'm not super into either.

I love water chestnuts. My sister eats them too, but I love the texture. I love the light flavor, I guess. And I'm a bad Asian, I don't like bean sprouts. I'm not, I don't love bean sprouts either. I'm not huge on bean sprouts. Tastes like like bean sprouts. I don't love bean sprouts either. I'm not huge on bean sprouts. Tastes like dirt. I can love them.

You're finding more, yeah, you named a couple that I don't like. I also, it's more, it's turning out there's more vegetables I don't like, Wags. But bean sprouts, water chestnuts, and is jicama, is that? Oh, jicama is similar to water chestnuts. Yeah. Sorry to bring us back to this. Is jicama a fruit. It's a root

No way is it a root? Wow. Oh my god. Hell yeah Root not fruit. Let's talk about broccoli. This is yes roots not fruit Broccoli is name. We don't don't know the actual origin of the name that is correct But we do know it is native to the Mediterranean. It was first cultivated and eaten in what is now modern day Tuscany. Also, I'm holding this broccoli in studio. It probably came from California, the number one agricultural state in the nation because it produces a staggering 92% of our domestic broccoli. Wow.

Yeah. Nine out of 10 broccoli florets eaten in the United States were grown in the Golden State. Per capita, Americans consume about 5.2 pounds or 2.4 kilos of broccoli annually. And we talked about broccoli being polarizing and people hating it. President George H.W. Bush, I don't know if y'all remember this, banned broccoli from the White House and from Air Force One.

I have a couple of Bush quotes, Bush the senior quotes. Number one, I do not like broccoli. Not gonna do it. You know what, Mitch, it's not far from not gonna do it because he says, I do not like broccoli. Not gonna do it. You know, Mitch, it's not far from not gonna do it, because he says, I do not like broccoli. My mother made me eat it. I'm president of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.

Another one he said, just as Poland had a rebellion against totalitarianism, I'm rebelling against broccoli and I refuse to give ground. No, don't say that. That's, you know what I'm gonnabelling against broccoli and I refuse to give ground no Yeah, that's the best damn president we've ever had. You're a first George W. Bush, HW Bush defender, senior Bush. It is like, because of your Bush head. What's your complaints? He got sick and threw up at that dinner

with the Japanese prime minister. What else are you going to say about him, Wags, huh? That's the only strike against him. That's the only strike against him. That's the only thing he ever did wrong. That's it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. What was one of his last quotes?

What was a? Oh, so he was like a kind of handsy, gropey guy. And he, in his final years of his life, some nurses who were taking care of him while he was in a wheelchair said that he would like, he was like very, you know, whatever, would like grab them or whatever. And one of the things he would say is,

my favorite, I remember my favorite book or my favorite magician, I think it was my favorite book, it's like, my favorite book is David Copperfield. And they like grab and nurse his ass. I've heard people say that. That's one of his great quotes towards that. Yeah, it's on his tombstone. So he was like cognizant of how gropey he was.

I guess so, yeah. He's like one of those guys that are changing his diaper and he has a boner, basically. Oh my god. They were like, we didn't think this was medically possible for someone this old. Wow. The diaper made it possible.

We had a couple things going on. You're gonna be having my colonoscopy tomorrow. I'm gonna say. Oh. Oh. Another thing to fear. Give me my colonoscopy tomorrow So I don't think any of us They're doing the colonoscopy I have like I'm like I'm rock hard is basically what you're saying. I don't know, I'm not a man. I don't know what happens down there.

Oh boy. It won't be able to tell. It's just a mask about. It won't be able to tell? Very nice. So we said that broccoli raw, none of us I think are defenders of that. I'll have it if it's just like, but I don't want it.

I will if it's in the crudite and I'm hungry, but I don't, there better be a fuck ton of ranch to go with it. You gotta have some kind of sauce on it. Ranch is so key with broccoli. I feel like broccoli loses a lot of its sheen if ranch no longer exists. You know what I gotta say?

Thinking about it, broccoli might be overrated. You think it's overrated? I mean, look, look. It was having a moment. It was having, it's had a moment, and we always defended it too too because I think a big thing with broccoli is broccoli and cheese. You got a boiled broccoli, you put cheese on top of it, everybody's happy.

And that is good, but I do think that like the cheese is doing a lot of work there, Wags, when you were- Yeah, of course, but this is a thing like- There's like a lot of vegetables though. It's true. Whatever is surrounding it has to do a lot of the work. Yes. But once I got older and could cook for myself, I was like, you know what?

I can take some broccoli, slice some garlic, salt and pepper and olive oil and put that on a baking sheet and I get a nice roasted broccoli. You know, that has great flavor and texture to it. And all of a sudden, this is a much different thing. This doesn't need the cheese sauce in the way that like the boiled mushy ones. Roasted broccoli is the best, but I'm saying when a viral 11 year old you was eating broccoli and smiling, it was because of... Did you mean to say viral? Viral. Viral.

I thought in this scenario, 11 year old Wig had a TikTok account. Back in the dial-up age. For eating broccoli. I was like, what up fam, today I'm gonna be eating some broccoli. I was like, yeah, get is your boy broccoli Wig. Oh, this kid is blowing up prodigy. All over CompuServe. I hope prodigy is lighting up right now, yeah.

Virol. Check the AOL chat rooms, this kid's huge. Wow, Netscape Navigator all over every page about Wiger. Virol. Virol. 11 year old Wiger. Yes. What you were liking about that broccoli though was the cheese, and I think for me- For sure. VIRIL. VIRIL. Eleven year old liger.

What you were liking about that broccoli though was the cheese. For sure. And also, I'm like, you're right. I think when you have a nice little baked broccoli or whatever, when you put it in the oven and you broil it or whatever, that's the best version of it. There's a lot of other stuff doing the work, which I know with vegetables that can be the case. But even like in a, there's a broccoli salad at Sidewalk Grill that I like.

Great salad. But even still, that's like raw broccoli, and raw broccoli is just hard to take down. I don't know. Yeah, I think they chop it pretty fine there. They do. And then it's got like a lot of like, you know, it's got a lot of olive oil.

It's, there's some guys, but yes, you're like, what, what, would you ever eat? I told you who I saw online there, right? Popeye. Popeye. Oh. It's got a lot of, it has a lot of olive oil. It has a lot of olive oil, Popeye was lined up there. Oh, I thought there was gonna be

like a spinach thing going on, okay. No, it's not really just spinach at all. That would be a natural leaf. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you think like Popeye and a green vegetable. Olive oil, he was, you're trying to get on there. Yeah. Okay. Cool. I mean. If you think like, pot pie and a green vegetable. He was trying to get on you. Okay, cool. I mean.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. The correct answer.

I'm starting to, I'm working myself into an angle here where I'm like, broccoli's not that good. I don't know. Here's what I will say is we need what broccoli provides. Yes. Yeah. And so that is all the reason in the world I don't know here. Here's what I will say is we need what broccoli provides Yes Yeah And so that is all the reason in the world to do all of the accoutrement around broccoli to fix it up to where you do like it so it isn't just raw and and packing peanut e and

disgusting because of all the benefits of you know as I get rid of the fucking tomatoes in the in the in the little Platter too. Oh the little cherry They're like always like like orangish and I'm like what's going on there? No, I don't need those. I'll take them I'll take them if they're really bright red. I really I love it. They're always Under ripe to me. Are you well like a grocery store platter is always those are bad. Yeah, it's not a good selection I think celery and and carrots are the two those are the those are the cake Well, like a grocery store platter is always. Those are bad, yeah. It's not a good selection. I think celery and carrots are the two, those are the cake.

You're doing all the heavy lifting. You're doing all the heavy lifting, right? Yeah. Come on. Well, cause they're shaped for dipping too. Yeah. Cause, okay, what I will say in defense of broccoli, I think the unique shape of it makes it really good for roasting,

which is pretty much just it with olive oil and salt and pepper. I mean, like if you're just going basic basic, right? Like not even garlic, not even anything. When those little flower thingies get crispy burned, that shit is good. Like when it- It's just a little bit of char.

Yeah, just a little bit of char and it's like crispy. That is the best. And that's just the vegetable itself. Yeah, I think that's good. Now I'll also do sometimes, you know, I'll like parboil them and then like, you know, toss them in a saute pan. That's another way that it gets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love when it's sauteed broccoli.

Yeah, but just like any sort of- Or like beef and broccoli? Yeah, beef and bro- Well, that's how I was gonna bring that up. Beef with broccoli, American Chinese dish. Fuck, I'm coming back around on broccoli. That was a big- It does so much in American Chinese food.

That was a big go-to for me as a kid, like having like, you know, what I understood to be Chinese food for the first time. I was just like, oh my God, this is heaven. And also like, just like the idea of, I think a big part of it was just not being, you know, my palate not being as familiar with so many of those umami flavors,

and then just having that applied to a vegetable felt completely novel, you know. I love beef with broccoli. Yeah, when it's like glazed in that sauce. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. A veggie tray though, what would you take out first? Would it be broccoli? It would be broccoli. I think it would with broccoli. When it's glazed in that sauce. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. A veggie tray though, what would you take out first? Would it be broccoli?

It would be broccoli for me. I think it would be broccoli. I think so, yeah. Because I could have it another way. Why am I gonna force myself to eat it that way? What would you put in there instead? Some peppers, red peppers? I do kinda like some peppers.

Oh, I do like a little pepper strip. Yeah, that's great. That is a good addition. And it's the good shape too, because then you can just dip it in the dipping shape. So I'm just saying, based on if we're doing the vegetable tray test, which is now a thing we'll do for every episode.

The vegetable tray test, this is the loser of the vegetable tray. There was a kid who went to another high school who was nicknamed Meat Tray when I was a kid. And I asked my friend and I was like, what? Kelly felt that way. Meat tray? Yeah, I was like, why is he nicknamed meat tray? And the answer was he was sleepwalking one night

at a sleepover and he took a crap on a meat tray that was in the fridge. Oh my God. I think something was- Like step walk, that's insane. I think something bad was happening to him at home. Yeah, this is really bad. This is not good.

No. I will say, of all the nicknames he could have gotten, that is the kindest version. It's true, yeah. Because that was not- I didn't know he pooped. That's not really getting across at all why he was given that nickname, and so that's very kind.

It's an A to Z. So many high school nicknames that are just similar to that. Yes. Brendan College was nicknamed, Bretty McEats-A-Love, and it was simply because he got really, really high one night and ate an entire loaf of bread. And so for the next four years, he was just Bretty McEats-A-Love. Wow. That's a good name.

Yeah. It's funny to look back on your college days as a Freddy McEats a loaf. I couldn't fucking relate to that guy. Let me introduce my co-host, Freddy McEats a loaf, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. I was not that man. I date a loaf of bread, I'm sure, over the course of college. I'm sure I made many... Over the course of four years, I think I probably ate one loaf of bread.

Yeah, over the course of your time in college, you probably ate a loaf of bread. Look, I'm sure I'm many. Over the course of four years, I think I probably ate one loaf of bread. A loaf of bread. Look, I'm human. My big thing was I made double decker peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That's funny. Whoa. Like a Big Mac version. Yeah, that's cool.

Of a piece of bread in the middle. Did you do two layers on each? What are you fucking, out of your mind? Yes. It's a fair question. What type of question is that? Are you putting all peanut butter on one layer and all jelly on the other one?

No, yeah. It was peanut butter, then jelly. Then a bread. Then a bread. Then peanut butter, then jelly. That's what I was asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have different flavors jellies?

No. No, just always the same one. Ooh, that's kind of a second level type thing. Which jelly? Strawberry. Yummy. Strawberry jam. What do you like?

Do you like the jam, as far as texture goes, jam, preserves, jelly. Where do you stand? Depends, man. So it's all contextual for you. Yeah, no. If I love a jelly, even though I've mostly called it jelly my whole life,

it hasn't actually been jelly. It's been jammed. I'm not really gonna be eating jelly. We were such a preserves. I'm't, it hasn't actually been jelly. It's been jammed. I'm not really gonna be eating jelly. We were such a preserves. I'm gonna say jam and preserves, yeah. Preserves for our family. We were such a preserves household. You say preserves.

People get mad at you about it. I do say preserves. I'm in a preserves household. I'm gonna fucking roast you. The creek of his rocking chair. Preserves household. What flavor was it that I, oh, what flavor was it that I liked? What flavor freezer?

Getting hung up on that for like 10 hours. I got up, as I got older, I started liking jam more. I like the smoother texture, yeah. Yeah. As a raisin was your, I was trying to think of an old timey. Raisin freezer. Creme freezer. Creme freezer.

What's an old person, what would be an old person? Super old timey, like marmalade is the best kind of thing. Marmalade, yeah, that's pretty good. But now that's got such a Paddington associate. It does. Paddington's really taking that over. He's so like, now he's really taking that over. He's a modern.

It's like his whole thing. We've re-embraced him. Yeah. So he feels almost modern now. And just in general, the cottagecore lifestyle. Indeed. Which is Marmalady. I have been thinking, I was like,

what if Kelly and I run out of books? Which we may, because it's getting harder. Everything's possible, I just scheduled a bunch today and I was like, we're hitting the drugs here. Well we could pivot to being cozy creeps. Oh that's cute, we could be cozy mysteries. I love cozy mysteries. I've been needing some of those in my life.

Well clearly we don't have that problem. Anyways, back to broccoli. Back to vegetables in general. That's a concept. Don't voice the show about chain restaurants Clearly, we don't have that problem. Anyways, back to broccoli. Back to vegetables in general. That's a concept. Don't voice the show about chain restaurants and a food. If we make the pivot, we've talked about the pivot before, which is multiple pivots

that we've talked about. One is a pivot to go hard right, which we don't know if we'll do ever. But there's a possibility that we will do it and then retire with the money we make. Yeah, that reserve shoot is always available. I think about it occasionally. Do you know how much fucking money I could make

as a hard, bright, brunette and glasses commentator? Oh my God. Honestly, maybe even just on TikTok. I would take Kennedy out so fast. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking I'm younger. Yeah.

I don't mean it. You sound like the CIA back in the 60s. Oh. That's your killed Kennedy. That's a good one. I, look, that's one of the pivots. We're not sold yet. We'll see what happens with this next election.

Yeah, yeah. But. I'll have to have a plan for 2025. Yeah, yeah. We got it. We just have we'll talk about it. But the other pivot is to review items from restaurants. We talked about that. Yeah, we talked about this. So there's a possibility we'll do that. I think that it's just it's good to let our listeners know that we're talking about. You got to lay

the track. Yeah, yeah. You're always you're always thinking you're always not renovating. What's the word where you're like you're always reinventing?ating, what's the word? Where you're like, you're always reinventing. You're always reinventing, yeah. Just, just, there's a word. By the way, is the word twi, if we're gonna twilight this idea, is that what it's called? What is it called when you're, when you're, when you're...

Sunset? Sunset. You had twilight on the brain. I knew it was something. You really have twilight on the brain. I knew it was some sort of sky thing. That was close. I knew it was a sky thing. Come on, T, I knew it was some sort of sky thing.

I'm the dumbest in the Sopran, T, I knew it was some sort of sky thing. I'm the dumbest in the Sopranos crew? Is that what that would mean? I wonder where I would rank in the Sopranos crew. Oh, jeez. Anyways, broccoli, wags. I don't know how we're going to do this. What are we doing?

I don't know what I'm saying. Are we doing it out of forks? Well, I think we'll get there. You know what? Speaking of preserves, I saw a really good recipe for broccoli preserves. Wow. And then you can store it for ages

and then put it on a nice sandwich, put it on a little crustine. Is it kind of like pickled? Is it kind of like pickled, basically? Wow, where's the cheese? Preserved in olive oil. Wow. With some like, you know, like,

garlic seasoning and stuff, yeah. It feels like a thing like, did you see Chelsea Clinton say that she's making for her daughter and then everyone would yell at her? Do you remember when she made spinach pancakes? And she was like, oh, my favorite in my household. And everyone was like, what the fuck is this? Who would attack her for anything?

You know what's actually kind of hot right now that I've been cooking with for a while is preserved lemons. I feel like preserved lemons are like having such a renaissance. People have been talking about that. Yes, and I've been cooking with them for years and they're really good, but yeah.

Also, I saw a good broccoli smoothie recipe. I follow this website. I don't know if I can go there. I'm gonna promote this website, LaCucinaItaliana.com. What do we know about their political leanings? I was just about to make that joke that like, I don't know if they're far right, but I mean.

They're Italians? They're Italians, so take it for what you will. And this may be good for the show considering where you guys might go. They're Italian immigrants, they may be. They may be far right. Here's a couple of things I learned. First off, broccoli rabe is a distinct plant.

It's not just broccoli. And also, broccolini is a cross between broccoli and kale. Where do y'all stand on broccolini? Broccolini. I love broccolini. Thumbs up. Yeah, big thumbs up for me. Big thumbs up.

You know what I was gonna do? Ask him in my fridge. I was gonna say, a vegetable that's not my friend, kale. I don't love kale. Don't love kale. I do like kale. Kale hurts my tummy too much. There's a lot of issues with that.

Do you know what has to happen with kale for it to be good? In a salad, you need a lot of acid and you need to let that thing sit like overnight. That's what I was gonna say. Because otherwise it's not broken down and you're just eating grass. Yeah, it's just like so into,

and you gotta make sure you don't have any of the stems in there. The ribs. Yeah. Yeah. You can physically massage it though, right? That's part of it. Yeah, you can massage it. Nellie's really good about it. Yeah, I'll put it in like a Ziploc bag with some Trader Joe's.

Yeah. Yeah, he puts on some cheese or dressing. Did we get footage of Rog's massage right there? And then I leave it overnight and then I have it the next day. It's good. Who's under those hands, Robert Kraft? I did it a few times 10 years ago. He did it once.

You know what place actually has a great broccolini dish? And this is, I want to shout out this restaurant, Antico Nuovo in K-Town. It's not very known, so it's easy to get in and get a reservation. It is some of the best pasta I've had in LA. Wow, wow. It's so good. Oh yeah, I think I know this place.

Yeah, they do a Caesar with broccolini, and it's so good, but then the dish, so their focaccia is crazy. I am, okay, I like bread, I'm not a bread freak, so if I get just like random bread on the table. You're not like a breading McKeezelove type. Exactly, like random bread on a table, I'm like,, I like bread. I'm not a bread freak. So if I get just like random bread on the table. You're not like a breading McKeezel of type. Exactly, like, like random bread on a table. I'm like, oh my God, bread.

Like I'm like, it has to be good bread. Yeah, sure. This is crazy. It's like this thick. It's so like spongy. And then the top is like just crispy and they paint it with like a lemon chili, like olive oil. And then you get that with like ricotta

and pistachio on the side or like whatever. But the best thing they have is this pasta with, I forget what the sauce is called, but it's made with pan drippings. So it's just like a pan dripping sauce. And then once you eat all of your pasta, you dip the focaccia in the sauce. And that's the first step.

But that place is great. Antico Nuovo in K-Town. I just wanna shout them out. Antico Nuovo. I think I feel like I've been there before. It's, it's great. Yeah, it's like in a strip mall in K-Town. I feel like I've been there before. It's- Sounds amazing. It's great. Yeah. It's like in a strip mall in K-Town.

I feel like I've been there. Yeah. By the way, I think- There's so many good restaurants that are just found in a strip mall in K-Town. Yeah, yeah. It's true. Yeah.

Where do you stand on broccoli versus cauliflower? I am such- I'm sick of cauliflower. I fucking love cauliflower. I do like cauliflower. But I was a new convert to it in adulthood. I never had it as a kid, sorry. I knocked the mic, I'm not sorry for not having.

Sorry cauliflower. Sorry cauliflower. Sorry cauliflower. But roasted cauliflower like does not. Roasted cauliflower's pretty good. Oh, you don't like it? No, no, no, I was like you can't get much better than that in roasting a vegetable.

It's just like so sweet and delicious. I really like pickled cauliflower. I love pickled cauliflower. Pickled cauliflower is pretty good. I like cauliflower. It's just, for me it's too trendy and it blew up and so it's too much everywhere. It's like the Brussels sprouts of 2014.

Yeah, I got exhausted from that. It's Brussels sprouts. Everywhere, it's like cauliflower steak, cauliflower this, cauliflower that. And I'm like, let's try something else, guys. I had a cauliflower steak last night. I do like them. Okay.

What was the context? I had a cauliflower steak at a restaurant when I was not eating any meat and I found it pretty unsatisfying. It was also at a restaurant. I just didn't like how they prepared it. It was like breaded and seared, but they made it with a roasted red pepper sauce,

and I just didn't love the sauce, even though I love roasted red peppers. I just didn't really like the way it was prepared, but I stand by a cauliflower steak in general. Yeah, I was gonna ask if you had good ones. I feel like the replacement, I mean, like, buffalo cauliflower is good. That's what, buffalo cauliflower's great.

But I feel like a lot of the, I feel like a lot of cauliflower replacement stuff isn't all there. By the way, can you, we were both talking, but you didn't, I don't know if you guys saw Wig's massage hands. Let's do it again. I don't know what he's doing.

I don't know who you're massaging there. I don't know. Not a master of space work. I'll just move those hands over a little bit to Jemmy? She'd probably love that. Yeah, there you go. Oh my God, her eyes lit up. She was like, oh.

And she looked nervous maybe? I can't tell what's going on. Well, she just didn't expect it. Now that she knows what's up, she's fine. Wow, her eyes got huge. Well, she didn't spike the camera. She likes it. She likes it.

She likes it. Wise, I think that Broccolini, I maybe like more than broccoli, Broccoli Rob. I definitely like broccoli more. I just know that's how you said it. I would have said Robay. Robay? I say everything wrong.

Is it Robay? Broccoli Rob, sounds like part of Bam's crew. I have no pronunciation instinct. Yeah. Rapini it's also called, right? Oh, that's what it is. Rapini? Oh yeah, Rapini.

I think I like both those more than broccoli, but look, I've come around, I went down and then I've come back around on broccoli here. It's fun, it's a good vegetable. It can be fun. Wow, she's licking your thighs, which is- It provides so much, no, it's the foot, I hope. She was licking her, she did end up getting my calf

a little bit, but she was more getting her foot. Yeah, I do really like broccoli. Also, now I'm wondering if we should do a cauliflower episode. I feel like we have a lot to talk about with cauliflower. Cauliflower is very popular. Oh my God, this is too exciting. Or do we burn?

We might do a cauliflower episode, folks. Did we already burn all the cauliflower talk though? It's a little more. It's like, how long is this Garden of Eden series gonna go on because it could go on forever. All August long. So would the more sensical thing to have done would have been to a cruciferous vegetables episode

if you're trying to cover more ground. That's smart. Yeah, that's better. And hey, everyone out there who loves fruit, all you fruit lovers, you're covered with our double. We're gonna talk about fruit and the double. Over on the Patreon episodes. So smart to put that behind the paywall. Yeah.

Well, because you can't have one without the other. Because like, vegetables, sure, but everybody wants the fruit episode. Yeah. Our first fruit episode, tomato. No, it's not. Are you for fucking real? I'm gonna kill myself.

Starring Kelly. I just come on drenched in sweat. Why am I here? We're not doing tomato for fruit. I think maybe a Chris Catan-based fruit we might talk about. We'll see. We'll see if we do that. Yeah. Here's a question.

My daughter is huge on that. Did people ever, like, you know the thing that you'll see where people will throw tomatoes at per stage performers in movies? Oh, okay. Here's a question. My daughter is huge on that. Did people ever, like, you know the thing that you'll see where people will throw tomatoes at per stage performers in movies? Did that ever happen in real life or was that like an invention for theater? I think it did happen.

You think it did happen? I think it was really legit. They were throwing rotten vegetables like back in the later. You're asking this in the broccoli episode? Like back when they would attend Kangy's Entertainment as well. Oh, sure, yeah.

Yeah, it's like they just loved violence of any kind. Yeah. You gotta say that for the tomato episode. I was just thinking, it's like they just loved violence of any kind. Yeah That's you gotta say that for the tomato episode Wait, which I don't know which we're gonna put the tomato episode. Yeah But I will see if we do a cover tomatoes. I don't know we might I got one I think we should cover in vegetables. Maybe we'll do it next week. Maybe it'll be in a couple weeks onion I mean, it's a big I was a little afraid we'd be talking about onion on this episode, because I don't love, it's gotta be cooked.

Oh, wow. I just don't, I can't do onions right now. Ooh, I love onions. French onion soup, French onion soup. I do love French onion soup. It can upset my tummy. Every version of onion, I'm a fan of. Crunchy onion.

Wow, even raw. Mm-hmm. Okay. Fried. Boiled onion? Sure, why not? I just went to Home State recently and I got the migas dish.

Yes. It's just like scrambled egg, cheese, onion, and tortilla. And it was like so good, except for how much onion was in there. And I'm just like, dang, I wish I liked onion. I'm not enjoying this at all and I know I should. I love it. And I guess boiled onion would be French onion soup, right?

Would that be the consistency of it? Sort of, well, cause French onion soup is just reduced down until it's completely caramelized and then they add beef broth and... I love a caramelized onion. Yeah. And then on a pickled onion. Red wine.

I can't believe that that would be an issue. I, if there's onion need anything, I'm happy. Honestly, until this week, I didn't even, I got some, I got guac daddy yesterday. Guac daddy's pretty good, dude. Guac daddy's pretty good. I don't wanna, like, I live near that area. So man, I'm there all the time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, there's a good, that's, corner's turned pretty good. There's a guac daddy, the Loafsville is three, and then you got a Goldburger right nearby. Yeah, and the Goldburger is pretty good, yeah. Yeah that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, Corners turned pretty good. There's a guac daddy, the low spheal is three, and then you got a gold burger right nearby. Yeah, and the gold burger is pretty good, yeah. Yeah, yeah, but I, but I, The daddy's good. The migas, I would never wanna take, I would always,

I want more onion. I, I'm an onion freak. Broccoli, I don't know. Broccoli's okay. I'll say this, broccoli, my daughter loves fruits and vegetables. She, I can't find a way to fix broccoli because she likes it. Wow. However, I've tried, I can't find a way to fix broccoli because she likes it. However, I've tried, I can't find a way,

I've tried three ways and I've given up. Broccoli fritter, could you do that? It doesn't even look like it anymore. Maybe. Interesting. I think baby knows best. She really went for it and then she won't, it's the texture though, she's so particular about textures because she's not quite too, yeah.

Baby knows best, that's what I'm gonna say when they push, yeah. Baby knows best, that's what I'm gonna say when they push on my stomach to release gas, that's what I'm gonna say. Baby knows best when to release this gas. You know what I like is a broccoli quiche. I like it in that context. I think it works in an egg dish. Ooh, I love, and this is again,

mostly cheese, but cheddar broccoli soup. Yeah, that's the funnest. Yeah, it's delicious.nest. Yeah, that's the best. My question is, did anyone eat broccoli in preparation for this episode? No. No. We talked about doing it and then we were just like- Fairly late into the day yesterday.

That we were doing broccoli. And I just didn't have time. I also like, I ate broccoli probably at least once a week. We had it last week. It's a frequent dish for me. I've eaten a lot of it in a lifetime. We talked about it, I was like, hey, should at least once a week. You had it last week. It's a frequent dish for me. I've eaten a lot of it in a lifetime. We talked about it. I was like, hey, should we all eat broccoli

like we normally do for one of these podcasts where we're gonna talk about Popeye's chicken, so we're gonna have a bunch of Popeye's wings before we record. And I think we were all just kind of like, we know what broccoli is. We know what we're doing. I had some broccoli on Saturday night.

That would be so funny if I was like, I've never had it. That would be fun. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. It looks cool. Saturday night, I did eat broccoli it. That would be fun. I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. It looks cool. Saturday night, I did eat broccoli, so I am prepped for this episode.

Yeah. Tim Jang stole the rest of it, but I did eat some of it. Oh, right. I think that we should get to our ratings wise. Here's the thing, I don't know how we wanna, are we doing it out of forks? Well, we normally review things out of forks. Now we could have some Garden of Eden salad day specific

where we could have. Like salad forks? Exactly, you know what, salad forks is pretty damn good. Salad forks is pretty damn good. That might just be it. You know what, Kelly? You know what, work is done. That's damn good, fuck, it's really good.

My alt was hands. How many hands we wanna rate this thing? I was gonna say pitchforks because farming? That's pretty good, but also the devil. You should do that for your devil rating. And if we're gonna pivot to hard right, we don't want that. Yes, we don't want that.

To appeal to the fundamentalists. Although they also often say, oh, they're always after us with the pitchforks because we can't say what we want. It's true. We can use it as a good rate. Yeah. Okay. They're the fundamentalists. Although they also often say, oh, they're always after us with the pitchforks because we can't say what we want. It's true. So you can use it as a good rate. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. OK. How about green thumbs up? Oh. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK, no one likes that.

OK. So is it green thumbs up or green thumbs down? Yeah, well, like how many green thumbs are you going to give it? How many green thumbs up? I actually like salad forks. And then we give it a little green thumbs up or a green thumbs down at the end. Okay, got it.

We decide as a crew whether this vegetable gets a green thumb. Okay, great. Or a brown thumb? Yeah, brown thumb. That's what's happening at your colonoscopy. I said brown thumb. I said brown thumb.

Yeah. Brown thumb, did you say that? Sorry, I was not trying to steal jokes. Everyone was talking at the same time, don't worry. Brown thumbs down, green thumbs up, I like that. Yeah, cause like, if you kill a plant, it turns brown, right? I like it, I like it. Back into the earth. I think that we combine the two whys. Okay, great.

I think that's the only way to do it. So we're getting, we're individually, we're giving it a salad fork score, and then collectively we'll decide green thumbs up or green thumbs down. That's right, yeah. And this is how, out of how many? Out of five. Five, okay. Five solid forks. So Kelly, we begin with our guests.

We'll start with you. Your thoughts on broccoli or closing argument and your score from zero to five salad forks. Hmm. I think I like broccoli okay, but it is a thing where I can't help but compare it to other vegetables. Sure.

So it's like, I like it fine, but then we have broccoli raw, we have broccolini, and those are so close. It's like, it's the like unattractive cousin. Well, here's a question. Should those things still count as broccoli? That's what, in my mind, they're under the broccoli umbrella.

I think they should still count as broccoli. I think it encompasses those. But then like, so, okay. Because without broccoli, they would be nothing. They would just be the other thing. The other thing. Okay. Well, they would be nothing. They would just be the other thing. The other thing. Okay. Well, so then I think it's falsely...

Podcast sucks. Thank you so much for having us. I think it's falsely... It's not your guys. You guys are great guests. You've been hilarious. Yes, yeah. The podcast just sucks.

The premise is the issue. The premise sucks. We're doing it. We're doing it. We did it. We did it. I think we did a great job. We're currently doing it. We're doing great. I did it. We did it. We did it. I think we did a great job.

We're currently doing it. We're doing great. I'm worried about future Eps with it. Why are you worried about it? This is going to be great. You'll have done your colonoscopy, so you'll be feeling a lot better. You always have great guests on the show. That's a good point.

You're going to be able to talk about it. Sure. Okay. Radishes with koalic are going to be great. It's going to be a great episode. Yeah. I don't like them. Okay.

I like cheese. Cool, Matt. But that's like basically been what we've been saying about broccoli. But I like cheese. I like cheese. Like every vegetable episode is gonna be like, well, there's always cheese. Yeah.

Radishes with qualic is pretty good. You wanna put that in the Google Sheet? Thanks, Ellen. I'm gonna say three salad forks. Wow. Out of five. Yeah. Because I don't think it's a heavy hitter,

but I do like it. Yeah, very good score. K-Ti, what do you think? Your thoughts, your fork score, your salad fork score. All right, I can't give it five only because there are things I like more. So there has to be room to maneuver upward. But I will say, I just wanna shout out

broccoli's health benefits, rich in mineral salts such as calcium, iron, phosphorus, potassium and vitamin C, B1 and B2. And it contains something I don't know how to pronounce, a substance that prevents the development of cancer cells and prevents the process of cell division. It can help chronic constipation, it can help asthma. I got to give it four.

There are so many benefits. So like just prepare it however you like it because it's worth it. Four salad forks, good score. Good score. I think I'm in the hand-holding club with Kelly here. I'm gonna go, I think I'm going three salad forks. I like broccoli.

I think it is good. But raw broccoli, I think really hurts it. And I think you've got to think about that a little bit here. Sure. Like so many raw vegetables are going to suffer from that. I mean, so many raw vegetables aren't that good, but I think that there are some that are much, you don't have to do a lot to them and they're much better. I like broccoli and also like, honestly, when I see it on the menu, I think I want to order it more than I want to order Brussels sprouts or a few other things.

And some of those have been played out. And I think that broccoli's been a consistent wise, like you said. And it's also made that turn from little kids being like, broccoli stinks. We don't want to eat it to being a vegetable that I think a lot of people like. Three forks.

I guess we'll wait for the green thumbs up or green thumbs down as a crew. Yes, that'll be all of us. Also Dana Carvey, Chopin' Broccoli. Great bit. We didn't even bring it up. We didn't bring it up. And I thought about it before the podcast.

I was thinking about it too. Chopin' Broccoli. I didn't think about it at once. This was for our younger listeners, it was his Elton John impression, and it would be singing, he could sing about anything. For younger listeners, Elton John is the guy from the Kingsman movies, I guess.

For younger listeners, movies are a thing. They're longer than a TikTok. And they're like this way, not this way. Yeah, yeah, they're that way. So you should turn it that way, because otherwise you're gonna see all your apps at the same time, and it's just not as good. So you go three forks.

I'm going, you know, Brock, Brock ain't bad. Brock ain't bad. Brock ain't bad, three forks. Three salad forks. Yeah, three salad forks. That's a solid score. That's a fair score, I think. I couldn't go below three forks,

and honestly, it works as well. I mean, I think that broccoli can be in the Golden Play Club with certain preparations, for sure, but for me, I think it covers round three. K-Tie is right to bring up its health benefits, which I think are going to be just an overarching thing with this month's theme. A lot of dietary fiber, not a lot of net carbs.

And yes, you mentioned the vitamin C. One cup of broccoli has over 100% of your daily vitamin C. So people always think of it something as, as Jemmy's ear is pulled over, very cute. It was very, yes. She looks very cute now. Gentle and sweet. Yeah.

We see, it's a healthy thing to eat and I feel better when I eat it. And I have really come to regard it as like a go-to vegetable for in-home preparation. I feel like I'm pretty good at cooking flavorful broccoli and have it pretty frequently. I'll tend to order it at a restaurant, like you're saying, Mitch, over something like a Brussels sprouts, which feels a little bit more played out. I love broccolini.

I'm a big, big broccolini guy. And I just kind of think like, I want a root for this guy. Because for a long time, he was the underdog. For a lot of time, he was, like, this kind of punching bag slash whipping boy, like, broccoli is disgusting. This is gross. This is, along with lima beans, signifies, like, a disgusting thing that I have to eat out of obligation.

And Brussels sprouts, because they were only boiled. Exactly. I have to eat this gross thing to earn my respect. It's like our generation's Brussels sprouts. Like, our parents's Brussels sprouts. Like our parents were Brussels sprouts, we're broccoli. 100%. And I like that it's like a little flower.

I think that's a lot of fun. That's pretty. It's a lovely plant. Yeah, it looks cool. So I'm gonna be up in the four forks neighborhood. I think I give it four salad forks, cause I just kind of feel like, I don't know, I think like with the tomato taxonomy, it might just be that the couches are just misaligned here.

You know, I think I'm more on K-Ti's page and you're maybe more on Kelly's page, but as far as our fandom of broccoli. But I just think it's such a solid, solid vegetable. Like, this is just good in so many contexts. It's a workhorse. It's great, yeah. It's doing so much. Yeah, yeah. Very reliable. Old, reliable. It is old workhorse. It's great, yeah. It's doing so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very reliable.

Old reliable. It is old reliable. It is old reliable. And I'm gonna, you know what, Wags, I think- Standard, it's easy. I think we all agree, it's a green thumbs up. It's a green thumbs up. I give it a thumbs up.

Big time green thumbs up. The Ember has spared its life in the gladiatorial arena. It can continue to move on. We're gonna set this, we're gonna put it outside the headgum studio and set it free. Go! You can go off with one of the turkeys from the White House. There's baby turkeys outside my mom's house.

Wow. Quincy never had any wildlife at all growing up. I mean, like you'd see a raccoon every so often and like maybe I saw a possum like once in my 20 years living there or whatever. Yeah, since Mitch moved away, the turkey population has exploded. One of its natural predators. Yeah, yeah.

Cause he would sleep off and eat all the turkeys. They're nesting right by my house wise. So what is that? Is that some saying like, we're now nesting where our enemy once laid? Or they miss you, yeah. Or they miss me. They miss your sound.

They know that I kept down the population. Yeah. It's very cute to see that my mom sent a video of like baby, little baby turkeys. It was very, very cute. They're kind of- So they're just running wild? Running wild, but then also my godson

Ronan he got attacked by a turkey the other day, too Wow, so the yin and the yang they're pretty yeah, they're like they could be pretty aggressive I mean, we're talking about geese being aggressive at Turkey. Yeah, I can't even imagine to terrifying Yes, no, thank you aggressive. Nothing wrong peacock twist of metal on peacock What's the name of this month again? What are we calling it? We'll figure it out. But right now, it's Garden of Eaton. Garden of Eaton, Salad Days. I wonder how many t-shirts we're going to sell for that.

Here again. Right, here again. Yeah, we've got to do something with pod. I thought Salad Days are here a pod. He's in a pod. There you go. Oh. Yeah, I don't know who's on the pod.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Pod, not pea pod. I thought, as salad days are here, a pod.

Peas in a pod, there you go. Oh. Yeah, I don't know. Peas on the pod. Peas on the pod. A pea pod, like a pea pod cast? A pea pod cast, yeah. Something with friend of the pod, maybe?

I don't know. Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except just like zucchini of the pod. Prawns on the pod. Prawn of the pod, I don't know. Prawn of the pod is good, yeah.

Prawn of the pod. Just throwing it out there. There's just like a lot of stuff. Fron's on the pod. Fron of the pod. I don't know. Fron of the pod is good. I don't know the pod. Just throwing it out there. There's just like a lot of stuff that we've put out there and so like you guys can do with it what you will. Yeah, we'll figure it out. Kinship Goods is gonna, they're gonna. There's been a nice little writing pod to come up with it.

Put your stock in Kinship Goods because it's gonna go through the roof with all of these crazy shirt ideas for Garden of Eatin'. Yeah. Yeah, we haven't sold many hats for Cukin' My Guts Up. It's kind of been a flop for old kinship. Well, now that I know it exists, you're gonna sell one.

Whoa. 100% increase in sales. All right, we took a little break. Jemmy moved. But we're back with a segment. It's time for another edition of Eatin' 925. Oh, it sounded like it. Yeah. 925.

Oh, not it. What a made-a-made mistake. Barely even try, it's all lazy and no effort. Amelia used her mind and we never give her credit. It's enough to make you unsub if you let it. Nine to five. Okay, so here's how this works. I don't remember this segment. Mitch, do you remember this one?

No, I don't remember that song. Mitch, do you remember this one? No, I don't remember that song. So, uh, I didn't either. I didn't either, but apparently lyrics were written, so here we are. So, uh, Mitch, Nick, and, uh, and guests are given... are office managers tasked with stocking up their office kitchen. They are given a list of snacks and beverages

within budget from the boss and must choose their items draft style. At the end, Em and Casey choose which office they'd rather work at based on the snacks determining the winner. And we have visual aids, which people can see on our video feed, but we have both food and drinks. Oh my God, this is so tricky. And we have to choose from these.

So for instance, like our food includes Smart Food popcorn, Cheez-Its, bananas, Kraft string cheese, and then our drinks include Keurig coffee cups, Bigelow assorted teas, Coke Zero, and water cooler. So- And the aim is to try to get them to choose our office, not for ourselves. Yes, the aim is for our workers for this podcast to decide which podcast they'd rather work for. Okay, that changes the-

Which is yours. Oh, it's a podcast studio. Okay, that changes the- Which is yours. Oh, it's a podcast studio. Yeah. It changes. Which is your podcast. They'd rather work for your podcast, but they're stuck here. So Mitch, I think we should do this with teams since we've got two podcasting duos.

I think you and I should team up versus the team creeps. I love it. That's the way to go. I love it. I was a little stressed out there being four of us and how many items there are. Like each person only get like- I was like, oh my God.

Yeah. Do we take something that's off the board? I think so, I think that's how it works, right? Yeah, sure, why not? If we can draft a scenario. I can keep going if you want. Fuck, all right. Wow, wow, okay, okay, okay. Oh, I already see some that I'm like,

we better get this one. Kelly, Lindsay, I'll let you go first. You will? Oh my God, that's so generous. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. They're our guests, bitch. I'm pissed off, you fucked us. You will? Oh my God, that's so generous. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. That's so generous. Thank you.

They're our guests, bitch. I'm pissed off, you fucked us. Why is there a gentleman? I really like the string cheese. Ooh, fuck, that's good. I'm with you. String cheese was on my list. Because I like, I think food,

food is better than snacks, do you know what I'm saying? Something filling. Interesting. We have to choose the filling. Okay, we choose string cheese. We choose string cheese. Hey, you fucking happy? You fucking happy with what you Interesting. We have to choose the filling. Okay. We choose string cheese. Okay, we choose string cheese. Hey, fucking happy? What, you fucking happy with what you did?

We're good, dude, we're good. Yeah, we have like a basically a, what is this, a six by four grid. So there's 24 possible options. How many should we do? Should we do five of each maybe? Yeah, five of each sounds good. All right, we'll do a starting five.

Also with string cheese, I gotta say, Jemmy is definitely gonna be a year off. That's a great feeling. We lost Jemmy with the first pick. Where is she? She's on the floor. She's right on the floor, but she is a's a great point. We lost Jemmy with the first pick. Where is she? She's on the floor. She's right on the floor, but she is a slut for string cheese.

We're way ahead. All right. All right, string cheese goes to Team King Creeps. Mitch, here's what I'm gonna say. I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna make like a minion and say banana. No, I wasn't gonna say that at all. Really?

No. What I'm gonna say that at all. Really? No. What I'm gonna say is, I like coffee, I gotta have coffee, but the Keurigs are so wasteful that I feel like that's like kind of a strike against it. They also taste like weak ass coffee. Yeah, they taste like ass. They're not good, there's no way that we would ever choose those. So disgusting.

Like I'll sooner lick burnt cardboard. Yeah. But people in the office are gonna want a hot beverage and they're gonna want a caffeine delivery mechanism. That to me pushes me at the Bigelow assorted teas. You got a bunch of different teas there. You are so insane.

What's wrong with teas? People want hot tea. That our first pick is- Are you kidding me? Our first pick is gonna be Bigelow assorted teas. That's crazy. If you have coffee or tea in an office, you gotta. I would never, I would never, I would never, I would never. It's so insane to do Bigelow assorted teas.

You want someone else to take, you want the other team to take teas and we don't have teas? I like coffee and I like tea, okay? Like Blues Traveler's saying. To me, these are the essentials of, this is what the office needs to function. It needs coffee, it needs tea, it's hot beverages. I would say that water fucking cooler would be the one I would choose over that. All right, let's do water cooler. It has a hot and cold function. No, I love water cooler.

So look, if we take it off the board, their tea becomes useless. We get their tea. We're not going to take that tea. We're not taking your fucking tea. I would rather take nothing than the tea. Fucking Bigelow? No. Yeah, no way.

No way. We'll take the water cooler. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. My first vote is for something you have right now, you fool. A Coke Zero. It's the only thing that we have in here. It's good, but it's so specific. You know, but what about the key? I'm on the board. You want the Coke Zero? Everyone can enjoy the water cooler.

People are like, I don't drink soda. I don't drink diet drinks. You're fucking idiots. That's a whole demographic that's not being helped by the presence of Coke Zero! Everyone can enjoy the water cooler. The Coke Zero! People are like, I don't drink soda, I don't drink diet drinks. You fucking idiot. That's a whole demographic that's not being helped by the presence of Coke Zero. Water cooler is the answer. Water cooler is the answer. We're adding it to our roster,

cause that's a winning squad. It's the foundation of a great team. Gotta have water. Give her a life! You fucking fool. I can't believe you're mad at me over water cooler. I'm mad at you over teas. Tea is a great pick Yeah, you guys should do tea. Definitely. We might get we might be getting tea. We're doing water. We're doing water

No, we're not doing we're never getting tea. We should definitely do dry tea Dry tea. You should do dry tea. Your first pick is dry tea. Dry dry dry dry dry. Well, it's inherently dry before you add water. That's how tea bags work. Guess what? Tea is dead. Now we have the water cooler. No one even can draft tea anyways. Someone could still have, take water from the sink and microwave.

All right, fine. Or put it in a hot water bottle. All right, so you guys are going water cooler. We're going water cooler. Okay, we will take Coke Zero. Yeah, we want Coke Zero. You fucking idiot. Coke Zero's a good pick.

That's what he said. It's a good pick. It's a good pick. It's a good pick. It wouldn't be my number one pick, but I think if you can get in the second round, that's great value. I don't even really drink soda, but I want Coke Zero in my office

because people love a little bit of caffeine. They like there to be an option that has no sugar because they don't want the crash. And a lot of people like soda. That f**ked up so bad. Are we sticking with beverages, Mitch? I hate you. Because I kind of think beverages have

Water and then your next thing is gonna be another drink. I think it's kind of the most important thing Kelly's right. What do people love about the head gum fridge? It's got so many beverages in there you look it up and and it's and it's panoply our second pick is cheese it We're getting cheese it Okay, she's it's in coke zeroes Blueberries and cheese it you're fucking idiot Our main pick is Cheez-It. We're getting Cheez-Its. Damn it. Okay. Cheez-Its. Cheez-Its and Coke Zero is what we should have on our team right now. I'd rather have blueberries than Cheez-Its. You're a fucking idiot.

You're wrong. I honestly kind of think we want something like a little healthier, like a bananas or a blueberries over the Cheez-It. I will go with banana because I think banana is huge. So if you want to go banana over Cheez-It, they're probably going to take cheese. I'm going to be so pissed at you.

Ba ba ba ba ba na na. Lock it in. Keeps the minions in line when they're working for Groot. Fine, fucking bananas are, bananas are our number two pick. I think this is looking like a good roster. We got water, we got bananas. We have water and banana, you idiot.

But this is the thing, it's like, this is working food. We don't want to be weighed down. What. We don't want to be weighed down. What? You don't want to be weighed down at the office. You get groggy, you get sleepy. Yeah, good thing we got water. That won't weigh us down. Yeah, because it's fucking nothing.

We got water and bananas. You gotta have water. All right, let's let the teen creeps make their pick. Okay. Wait, what did you choose? We picked water cooler and banana. Okay, yeah. Cool, cool office guys. Am I not interested in a banana or water, hot or cold?

You have string cheese and Coke Zero. Yes. What do you think? Do you think we should do the popcorn or do you think we should do? I think, I'm torn between either, no, I don't wanna say what, I think we have to do popcorn

because I don't wanna give away what else we want. Smart food popcorn. Pretty good. That's your option. Okay, we'll be taking smart food popcorn. Okay, sorry, I gave it away, sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, it's cool, cool, cool. Has been claimed.

Can I just quickly say to you, if someone was like, here's, I don't even know what the show is, but it's like, here's a writer's room, it has Coke Zero, string cheese, smart food, or bananas and water. I'm going into the's a writer's room that has Coke Zero, string cheese, smart food, or bananas and water. I'm going into the other fucking writer's room.

I'm going bananas and water. Is that stuff I can have every single day? Bananas and water. What psychopath show are you writing on? What is this show? It really hinges on your next choice. It really hinges on the next choice. You can turn it around.

You can turn it around. You can definitely turn it around. I see some items that could really turn it around. Yeah, there's plenty that we want that's still up there. So you guys are still in the game. I think we're doing awesome. Do we want another beverage, Mitch, or do you want to get cheese it now?

I mean, I really want cheese. Let's get cheese it. Are you okay with cheese it? What do you want? What do you want right now? I might do the- You want those fucking teas. I want the teas. I knew you wanted the teas.

I want the teas? I want these sorta teas. I knew you wanted the fucking teas. Oh my God. But you gotta have some caffeine. It's because the teas. What, the teas? I want these sort of teas. I knew you wanted the fucking teas. Oh my God. But you gotta have some caffeine. It's because the tea makes his water cooler stronger. This is why. It's true, but also just think of any office

you've ever worked in. I have never enjoyed a tea in an office. I know, but I'm just saying, like, if we're talking about the Keurig is the other option. And like, if I'm in this hypothetical office. What about those Tijabas? Not to like help you guys, but like. I mean, honestly, I would go to job as over the.

I think you're forget, like what? We're getting, what are we getting into work? I've had you office jobs that started at 8 a.m., 9 a.m. People are getting in early. We need the cheese. You gotta have some sort of hot beverage that's got caffeine, especially if it's a cold day. People are gonna want that.

Wait, does this mean that you cannot in your office have like the coffee pot? It's not on the table. It's not there, you can't have. Yeah, this is it. If it's not here, we don't have it. This is a whole array of- Because the drafts don't have it either.

That's why teas are so essential, but we'll get cheese in. No, no, no, we're not gonna do that. We'll do cheese in. We're never gonna do that tea. Draft cheese. They're not gonna drop the tea. We have the hot water.

We'll get tea with our last pick. Cheese it, cheese it's on our roster. We're not taking tea with the last pick. We could get Tejavas if we wanted to. Here's your tea. You're too enamored with a Tejava. Was it Tejava or Tejava? I don't care. Tejava. Tejava. Tejava.

Tejava sounds like coffees. That's why I think it's Tejava. I mean, it's an invented word, right? Tejava. Tejava. I haven't said anything for 30 seconds. You're speaking to yourself. Team Creeps, what are you thinking? This room sucks.

Our room sucks. I'm taking a candy out. Are you supposed to be eating candies? Yeah, why not? Sugar is fine, actually. Okay. Okay. I got a bunch of Sprite.

Wow. I'm gonna drink some Sprite. I mean, also, my day of my clear liquid day tomorrow, I'm gonna get a thing of, I'm gonna get chicken broth. I'm gonna order like chicken broth from Cantors or something. Nice. I know that I could just make some, but that's fun. Yeah, I know, okay.

Yeah, true, why not? Treat yourself. And then Sprites and Gatorades, and that's it. Gatorades count as clear liquid, but you just can't drink the red ones. Yeah, yeah. Oh, cool. Yep. Okay, what is your next pick?

Cool, yeah. Our next pick. Cool. Yeah, yeah. Our next pick is the oats and honey kind bars. Those are, that's a good pick. Kind bars are great because they could also work as a substitute for a meal if you're really in a rush.

And they're sweet, which kind of balance that because we have salty and sweet. Yeah, no, are great because they could also work as a substitute for a meal if you're really in a rush. And they're sweet, which kind of balance that because we have salty and sweet. Yeah, no, that's good. You guys are fucking, you're curb stomping us. We're getting our asses kicked. Are you kidding me? We got salty and sweet, we got cheese and we got bananas. And water. And we got water,

giver of life. Stop calling it giver of life. Imagine Pandora without water. You can't. You can't. They practiced the way of water there. The whole second movie is about it. Yeah.

I assume. Well. I haven't seen it. Oh my God, it's great. It is great. Okay, so. We can agree on that. The way of water is great.

I'm gonna pitch something, Mitch. Assorted teas. No! I can't. Just hear me out. It can be our last pick. They don't even want it. No. I can't. Just hear me out. It can be our last pick. They don't even want it. Okay.

They would maybe even just give us a sort of tease. Honestly, you could take that as a sixth thing. Yes. I would not care. It's all yours. I think it might be a preview. You're still just gonna want to try to draft it before we get it for six.

It just might be nice to lock it into the roster, but go ahead, what are you thinking, Mitch? Look, this is a tricky one here because they're hot on our, I mean, they've already won. Well, I'm gonna, I have a couple of thoughts here. I mean, like in my mind, I'm like, ooh, it could be fun to do like a Chexmas or a cookie or those gummy bears, which I know that they're eyeing.

This is the thing, we've already got the empty calories with the cheeses. Those cookies are dusty. Those are, those are- You like, I know what you like. You like the beef jerky. What do people like? No, I don't want the beef, I don't want the beef jerky.

I'm thinking either the Nature Valley Crunchies, which are akin to the Kind Bar, not as good as the Kind Bar. But I also kind of think there's something to that oatmeal. Cause this is the other thing. Those are both the ones that I told you were insane. You get in first thing in the morning. You get in first thing in the morning. You get in first thing in the morning.

Yeah, maybe you didn't have time to have breakfast at home. Give yourself a packet of oatmeal and some hot water from the water cooler. You're sitting pretty. What world are you from? This doesn't make... Working in fucking offices for most of my adult life. I actually think it's cool. I think it's really cool that you're using what you already have,

which is this water cooler, and you're thinking about, like, what can go well with the water cooler. Yeah, we never turned off the damn water cooler. That was a huge fucking mistake. Now you are kind have, which is this water cooler, and you're thinking about what can go well with the water cooler. And that's a good right. Yeah, we never should have tried the damn water cooler. That was a huge fucking mistake. And now you are kind of locked in on that water cooler. But that's a meal.

You can have a meal with that water cooler. I'm gonna tell you exactly the two things you said. I like water coolers. You go into it, you're, hey, it's the first day of a writer's room, we're all in there together. Again, put yourself outside of writer's room. I'm just saying. This is any office job anyone could ever have.

We're in the headgum studios. Hey, it's the first time in the headgum studio. Wow, look at all these humps. Right, the two jobs you can have, writer's room or podcast studio. Yeah. All right, we're on the construction site. How's that? You've been doing hard work all day long.

You're like, man, I'm going to eat some bananas and water. Bananas and a full fucking water. Well, but then now you're thinking of like a blue collar like outdoor jobs, as opposed to like a white collar, like, hey, I'm just working. I'm working for a fucking, just an office supply company. All right, fine. It's an office supply company for god's sake. I'm working for Staples corporate.

We're at the office. We're at Dunder Mifflin, OK? We're at Dunder Mifflin. And the first day we go in there, first of all, our boss is kind of weird. That's the first thing that happens. Second of all, the- What are these cameras doing here? That's what I'm wondering. Oh, this boss is kind of weird. That's the first thing that happens. Second of all, the- What are these cameras doing here?

That's what I'm wondering. Oh, this is the documentary. And then I guess- It's gonna last 10 years. BJ Novak's character, what's his name on the show? BJ? I've actually never seen- Is it Ryan?

Ryan. Yes, Ryan. I'm trying to think of who would come in with this stuff. Who was the underling guy? The person that's bringing in water and bananas is Dwight Schrute All right, so Dwight. Yes. Well the person who's buying supplies for the office is the receptionist Okay, so Pam is I guess is maybe yeah little miss cheating on her engagement guy That's also crazy to just think insane that we were like she's there. She's our hero

Man, that's also crazy to just think about. It's insane that we were like, she's our hero. Yes, yeah. She's cheating on her fiance. Also, I'm not talking to you about this. You were friends with Dwight. You were very much, there's two Dwights now in the office. I didn't go with Dwight. Yeah, we know.

They come in with Nature Valley Crunchy Bars, and they come in with oatmeal. Seven months from now, those same boxes are gonna be there. No one is touching me. Completely disagree, completely disagree. You're the guy. I'm not saying, I'm not even necessarily the guy. I'm saying like, you'd be shocked by how many people

are gonna take a packet of oatmeal. They'd be like, fuck, I was in a rush this morning. Whatever, I gotta eat something. Hey, thank God they have an approximation of breakfast here. And you know what? I can get some hot water from the water cooler and dice up one of those bananas. I'm sitting pretty.

That's- Oh, cause you really are thinking about all the stuff you already have, because you put the banana in the oatmeal. Yeah, you make one boring ass meal out of everything we've got. You can sustain your work in your job. You're working there. Like, you need working food, something to sustain you. You're not going to fall asleep.

I would say what I appreciate about your thinking is it's also a little bit of a desert island thinking. Like, how am I going to survive? Because that's a big part. It's just like, oh, I'm working overtime is spending too much of my life here I've got other shit. I got to do fuck I tried to go to the gym this morning and I ran out of time well I hopefully hopefully there's something I can eat and I don't want to be eating like fucking gummy bears for breakfast I think we should do to Java's spin drifts or a Canada dry honestly

I really like spin drift there because I Spindrift's is soaring in popularity in offices. I think they offer the little bit of sweetness that you can get from the Coke Zero with minimal caloric commitment. And I think that it's just nice to have something a little bit fizzy. So I'm fully on board with Spindrift.

Then let's do it. Spindrift. Spindrift is locked in. Damn it. Were you guys going to do Spindrift? No. I like the Spindrift. It's certainly over La Croix. I like Spindrift, but we already chose Coke Zero,

so we already have something much stronger. Okay, so do we wanna? We talked about it. Okay, so we're gonna do the teas. So upset. I'm livid. We really like the look of that Bigelow box. Yeah, and like, people can use it.

There's bound to be water in the office somewhere. Yeah, and there is water in the office. He said there's bathroom water and sink water. Yeah, you can get sink water and heat up the microwave or electric tea kettle. Because you know what? Some people might need a little bit of caffeine without any calories at the end of the day. It's true. And we don't have a Keurig machine, so yeah.

Wags, I'm so sorry. It's all right. I think now we got to get the coffee though. Do you think that we got to pivot and get the coffee? The idea of having an office with no tea and no coffee, the idea, like especially people getting in the morning, that's unthinkable. Can you imagine that?

No caffeine allowed. Exactly, no caffeine in this office. That's insane. People would go nuts. People would rebel. And yeah, I know someone could like stop by a place on the way there, but there's an expectation in office culture that we'll have coffee and tea.

It's a desert island office. Yeah, so I think we gotta do that. There's also Tajala that is a tea. But that's not a hot beverage. That's not something you have first thing in the morning. All right, wise, we can get the coffees. All right, great, and I hate doing it because curries are wasteful and they don't taste great,

but we just gotta have something. And we could have had the tea, but it's fine. What do we already have? We have... What are we at? What's the roster size? Okay, so you guys, both teams, both offices have five items now. Okay, great. Nick and Mitch have the water cooler,

bananas, Cheez-Its, spin drifts, and coffee. Pretty good. Lindsay and Kelly have string cheese, Coke Zero, Smart Food, Kind Bars, and tea. I say we do one last one. Yeah, let's do one more. So that's our starting five. We'll pick one reserve.

One reserve. Nobody wants to have bolo rosa broccoli? I didn't realize that's what that was. So that's our starting five. We'll pick one reserve. One reserve. Nobody wants that a bowl of roasted broccoli? I didn't realize that's what that was. Is that what that is? I'm pretty sure that's what that is. I thought it was kale. Oh no, I'm sorry, those are kale chips. Kale chips.

Kale chips. Yeah. I thought Amelia was sneaking one in for the broccoli. That's a fun pick though. It's a bowl of broccoli. That's not a fun pick. That sucks. It's kale chips, that was wrong.

Okay. Oh, it's our turn now, right? Yeah, go for it. Okay. We will take the Haribo Gold Bears, please. Fuck, fuck it. Those are fun. I mean, look, I'm a big gummy-ate and yummy guy, but I understand that they would be popular in the off.

People love gummies. People love gummies. Okay, so Mitch, we could get a sweet treat here. We could go with those mini Chips Ahoy. I know what you you want those are fun You want the oatmeal? What I was gonna say is that if you want some sweetness there are some flavors of the oatmeal It's like a strawberries and cream

There's like a strawberries and cream. Yeah, strawberries and cream. Actually, I would fuck with that strawberries and cream. Yeah, that would be fun. Honestly, I would actually, I think Wyer and I are actually a little more similar than I've been letting on this whole time. I do like oatmeal, I do. I like your office so much more than our office.

I would not like that in an office, I don't think. That's why I was saying, like, knowing that this is in order to try to make you guys choose our office, it changed up what I had my eye on. Can I make a pick that I think? Jemmy's on the trail of something. She's really sniffing here. It's cool.

Yeah, Jemmy's sniffing something. Can I make sense, since we are the exercise we are trying to appeal and pander to Casey and Emma, who we both know better than our guests. Yeah, it's true, we don't know. I'm gonna pitch marijuana. What? What?

You can't just add the big bowl of kale and drink it in fact, marijuana. You can't just get marijuana. I'm sold. Knowing this now, I am pitching that our gold bears are in fact CBD gummies. Yeah. That's smart. That's smart.

We already lost. Even without marijuana, I want to give you- Well, they haven't chosen yet. They haven't chosen yet. I don't know. I want to give you the oatmeal just because it would make our thing make sense. What would you take if it's yours? Because I think the mini Chips Ahoy are fun too.

Do you want another beverage? We're kind of light on snacks. We've got three beverages. I think, oh my God. But that's good. You want beverage variety. Not everyone likes the same thing. We have Cheez-Its, bananas.

And so, two of the big snacks are gone. Yeah. String cheese are gone. Smart food popcorn is gone. Gummies are gone. I do think the Chips Aholiminis are pretty good. I mean, if you wanted to do the oatmeal too, it's a toss up for me. It's up to you. You would never pick the oatmeal.

I mean, like, no, but also now what we have, it makes sense. Like you were saying, like the bananas, we have a water. They're all kind of a, of a stew. Yeah, they're symbiotic. It's a symbiotic relationship. Let's take the fucking oatmeal. Let's make our, we made our oatmeal. Emma, can you read back what each roster has?

All right, yeah, so Nick and Mitch have water cooler, banana, Cheez-Its, Spindrift, coffee, and oatmeal. Pretty good. Lindsay and Kelly have string cheese, Coke Zero, Smart Food, Kind Bars, tea, and gummy bears. Oh my God, that's so much better. More well-rounded roster. Well, if we had the tea, I mean,

it'd be a different story. Casey and Emily, you got an office you'd prefer to work at? Game changer. I'm a little split, because Lindsay and Kelly's office is definitely more fun, but Nick and Mitch's office is more likely to keep me eating clean and stick to the diet, which is kind of what you want when you're in an office

five days a week, eight hours a day. And I used to eat vending machine lunches a lot at my old jobs, and I hated them. So like some bananas would have probably saved my life. But if we're going for like the most fun office, I got to pick Lindsay and Kelly. Also, the most fun office in that they don't want to work with us anyway. Therefore, so what did you say? I'm sorry, cut you off.

I said cheese is protein. String cheese. It's true. Yeah, it's absolutely true. I would say Nick and Mitch's office picks are pretty close to what I actually have in my home where I usually work from. That's what I'm saying. Also, by the way.

And yeah, I like oatmeal at home. I would have gone for the oatmeal, actually. By the way, you're in an office with wags? You're gonna fucking practice getting under your desk is all I'm gonna say. Wait, wait, what's the joke here? He's an office shooter type guy. No, I'm not gonna shoot up an office.

I'm not gonna take revenge. I'm not gonna take revenge. I'm not gonna. I'm not going to assume there's something to take revenge about, but I won't actually take the revenge I will have been wronged though. I thought that I didn't realize I didn't know that's the direction you're going I thought you were gonna say get a black light. Oh Yeah, cuz messy all over the yeah, exactly

of a certain Something yeah earlier. All right, uh Seeds. Teen Creeps win. Let's move on. What, did Casey have an answer? Casey, what do you think? We don't know.

I think Teen Creeps had the better snacks, but personally, I mostly drink water all day long in the office. It's like all I do. No, Kelly and I definitely. We have sink water. We have sink water. We have delicious sink water. I prefer Nick and have sink water. We have sink water. We have delicious sink water.

I prefer Nick and Mitch's office. We wanted the water cooler. It's a split decision. We wanted that water cooler. I'll break the tie. Team Creeps wins. Mitch is leaving his own office to come work for us. So should I just send Lindsay and Kelly's list straight to Anya?

Or? Honestly, yes. As long as the tea's on there. Hey, just like a restaurant, value feedback. Let's have the feedback. If you guys had Cheez-It instead of Smart Food, I think it would be. I wanted Cheez-It really bad. But you guys took it.

I'm much more of a popcorn person. I am a Cheez-It girl. Oh, Cheez-It Grooves, I would have freaked out. I do love Cheez-It. I love Cheez-It. I am a Cheez-It freak. Cheez-It is one of my favorite conversations. Cheez-It is so fun. Cheez- I do love Cheese It. I am a Cheese It freak. Cheese It is so fun. Cheese It is so fun.

Making me starving, I'll tell you that much. Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. Sorry. Today's email is from Connor C. Connor writes... Oh, I'm fucking broccoli. There's been a lot of talk in the pod lately about how long the Doughboys could possibly go for. As a longtime listener, I was there when Weiger called it for Hillary.

Oh, boy. I can assure you that what keeps the Doughboys fans tuning in week after week is the incredible dynamic between the host and the crew. The food reviews seem to be, at least for me, merely a vehicle for quality entertainment. Having said that, what are some possible formats that you think the Doughboys could pivot to? For example, you could review every episode of Entourage

or become a fitness and health podcast and loyal fans would still listen, me included, Love from Houston, PS, I mean it when I say I'm a longtime listener. Nick and Mitch have gotten me through some really tough times and I re-listened to the catalog when I had the most difficult factory job of my life making almond milk.

Wow. Oh my God. Thank you for your service, Connor. Thank you for everything. Yeah, thank you, Connor. That's cool as hell. Thank you. When you read about almond milk, it should just be illegal. Yeah, it's wild. It's so wasteful. It takes so much water.

Yeah, so much energy. And then apparently it's extremely labor intensive. Yeah, I guess, and we are also talking about this in the context of Teen Creeps, but have you floated any possible format changes or what you'd wanna cover beyond Cozy Mystery? Are you gonna call it for Biden this year? Please don't.

Call it now. Oh my God. It's gonna be our off day. Not only just then, we haven't talked too much about it. We've expanded what we cover. Right. Because now we cover stuff that's more new or we've done like fantasy.

Like genre adjacent. Yeah. Yeah, we've done Fantasy Month. Weiger joined us for one of those. Bog the Strip. Oh yeah. Yeah. Right.

But I feel like we do it where we're like, it just has to be our brand. And we know what it is. Yeah, it's just gotta feel like us. Yeah, if it feels like us, we'll cover it. Yeah, that like I feel like we do it where we're like it just has to be our brand like and we know what it is It's got to feel like yeah, it feels like us will cover it. Yeah, like if millennial librarians are into it, then it's our brand So truly I'm not yeah, I love them. I love a millennial librarian. Yeah, bless them. Yeah Thank you for continuing to listen. Yeah, really appreciate. Yeah doing the Lord's work I love a librarian. Me too. Man, great people.

That's a good- Going through a rough patch right now with this country, man. Yeah, it's tough. Librarians? Yeah. Actually, we just had great libraries. Like there were just great public spaces, because this is a big problem with America.

There's basically no third space you can go to without spending money. Yeah. And it's like the libraries are one of the few things where you can go and it's just like, I can hang out here and I don't have to like buy something. And even malls where it was to buy something, they're dying too.

Yes, yeah. Yeah, that's about it. My mom's on the library board in Thomas Crane Public Library. Does she live there? A great library. I don't think she knows what podcasts are. She broke her iPad recently.

That's right, that's better. Yeah, her son has done one for 10 years and I still don't think she knows what podcasts are. She broke her iPad recently. No, that's right, that's better. Her son has done one for 10 years and I still don't think she gets it. My mom calls them broadcasts. Yeah, yeah, that's very funny. Here's what I'll say. I think that Connor, this is a very nice message.

I think you represent a particularly engaged section of our listenership. Thank you for listening and sticking with us for a lot of bad episodes. But the kind of person who's been listening for that long, yeah, listened to a lot of garbage, and also is going to write into the podcast, perhaps, I'm guessing, subscribes to our Patreon.

Again, that's a particularly engaged, relatively small sliver of our overall listenership to the free feed. So I do think a lot of people, who aren't the kind of people who would write into the podcast, do listen because we review chain restaurants. I think they do listen because we cover fast food and because we have opinions on it. So I don't think it's as easy as saying like,

well, I love Nick and Mitch, I love Mitch and Weiger for whatever reason. I wanna listen to them prattle on about whatever bullshit. Like that's maybe true for some people, but I don't think that's true for everybody. I do think whatever we should be doing should be food focused. I think we're gonna be testing it out this month

as we see our listener numbers go down. Yeah, we'll see, we'll see what happens. We're reviewing vegetables, we'll see what happens. This is a great satellite program. I do think that the idea of reviewing items, like we could do, it's we're doing the fucking Taco Bell cheese item this week or something. Yeah, exactly, we pick one individual thing.

We're reviewing Dave's Double from Wendy's. If we're talking about something that's seasonal, it could be something that's evergreen and part of a menu, but we can do a whole episode about that. That's like the podcast, The Ride Tactic, where they talk about maybe a whole park, or they might talk about the fake rocks at one park, and that's it.

They're just raiding fake rocks. Or talk about the parking garage with Weiger for four hours, was it? We've done a few parking garage episodes, yeah. Yeah, you've been on multiple, yeah. I love parking garages. I don't think that we'll ever pivot and do a movie. We cover movies and stuff on the double, so I don't think we'll ever do anything like that.

Yeah, I don't think we need to do that. There's also so many podcasts that already do that and do that so much better than we would do it. So I don't think that makes any sense. It should be food focused, whatever we're covering. We'll figure it out. But also what's a, this is fine. We know how to do the show, so it's fine. It's gonna end soon. It's gonna end.

It's gonna end soon. It's gonna end soon. Don't worry about it. All good things do. Yeah. Well, it's gonna, it's coming to an end. It'll come to an end. Just like the country.

But not after our 10 year celebration, Wigz, 10 years. Coming up on 10 years, it's wild. Really? It is, yeah. We started this podcast in 2015. 10 years, wow. Really? Time flies. Oh, maybe.

I don't know, because we started in 2016. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. What we do, what we have, what we go, we're not going to go as long as the Simpsons. It's not going to happen.

Well, we have to. I mean, we're just up against actuarial tables for life expectancy at that point. We're not gonna be able to go that long. That's a great point, Wags. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? We still love, we still love doing the pod.

We still love doing the pod. Well, I think that like the... I don't think they believed us. The food thing is like a good entry point, but I do think people stick around for you guys. Like you can't. I think you lose. That would be the smallest sliver of your audience

is the audience who's only tuning in for the chain restaurant. We have a very rare, like small amount of listeners who are like, I only want to hear about the books and I don't care about Lindsay or Kelly. And I'm like, okay, then read the book. And they usually have stopped listening by now. Yeah, so it's like, I feel like people are here for you guys.

That's very kind. That is nice. I think it is. You know what? And again, I disagree with you. Yeah, I don't believe you. I think that's a favorite for the restaurant. They're going to be pissed we're talking about broccoli.

I don't want to add it on a sad note. We're going to keep doing the podcast. It's going to keep happening. Why? Because it's not ending very soon. You're literally watching a new thing. Exactly. And I think you're right.

I think discussing an item at a chain restaurant is a very good path. I think it could be a lifesaver in some ways. Find a way to make it sustainable. Because I was just like, and I don't know if this podcast, this episode we've recorded is coming out in September or has already come out at this point. But we were recording this a few days

after we recorded an Amici pizza episode. And the leftover Amici pizza is in the fridge and I was like, I can't believe we ate all that shit. We just like, that was like, that was like last, like a few days ago. Yeah. We ate like so much pizza, so many buffalo wings.

And why? To do this, to like just bullshit about it for a couple hours. And it's like, I'm like, I'm walking four miles a day and I'm like, hmm, I don't see any improvements and eating salads in the other spare time. I mean, four miles a day and I'm like, hmm, I don't see any improvements. And eating salads in the other spare time. I mean, we do stupid shit. We shouldn't, we've been dumb about it for a very long time.

You don't want to die for the podcast. No. Eh. Well. But do I want to die? Hmm. Hard. Yeah.

That's a great question. Our answer is yes. For the podcast, I don't know. But we said you know what? We got a lot in store for the 10 year that's all. So much in store. Congratulations. We're ending the podcast. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go to that's 8304636844 And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back

catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboy. Same off-ramp every single episode, just let me get through everything and then you can talk. Our producers, Emma Erdbeck, our associate producers, Emilio Moreno, our engineers, Casey Donahue, and our video editors, Mike Dorfman. Go ahead, Mitch. I just want to say that you and I both discussed when we started this podcast, we're like, we can't let it go on for too long

I was in a sketch group for like a decade and now we are at the decade mark and we're like we won't like we're Like five or six years is all do it. Yeah relax Relax What the fuck else are we gonna do? Are you kidding me? Well, that's that's the other thing is it's like it's It's won the lottery with with yeah hitting on something that people are interested in your dynamic together It supports you. It's a J. It's the Jerry Orbach thing and never leave a hit show every other industry falling apart, right? Yeah, don't walk away. Don't want her in that we're in the but we're I think we're close to the zone We're like Steve Urkel is like going into his machine and becoming Bruce Lee

I think it's that level of of like Carl Winslow Lee. I think it's that level of like Carl Winslow is going in and becoming like a dorky Carl Winslow. I think that's the level. Do we need to bring in a new character is what we're saying? So Broccoli is your Stefan. Broccoli is our, sadly Stefan was like a few seasons ago. Stefan is a while back.

We're like, the machine is making people crazy, it's doing crazier things now. But yes, I do think we have to bring a new character in. Right, I'll text Koala. Lindsay K. Tai, Kelly Nugent, Teen Creep, such a fun podcast to listen to, such a fun podcast to do. I've always enjoyed being on it. I will say, as I've said, when you've guessed it in the past,

there have been a few episodes, I think at least one, maybe two that I've guessed on that were originally supposed to be Doughboy's episodes, and then Mitch didn't read the book. So. I think it was the one maybe two that I've guessed on that were originally supposed to be doughboys episodes, and then Mitch didn't read the book. So. I think it was the one. It was just the one.

It was just the one. It was just the one, okay. And then he gave up. And we just simply haven't tried again. Yeah. I will do it. I will read a book to be honest. You should do it.

Okay. We've done some books that are like 80 pages long. We can do a short one for you. We will choose a short one. Oh shit, 80 pages. Um, we're doing another, we're doing another pod where we have to read a book. Becky Feldman's podcast. Yes.

Too stupid to live. I am stressed out about that already. I gotta figure it out. Also, my first book in a while is gonna be an Orc book. Oh, it's an Orc romance book? Yeah, we'll talk about it. Interesting. Teen Creeps, such a great show.

Please tell everybody about it. Thank you. We talk about YA pulp fiction from the 80s and 90s, like Christopher Pike, Arl Stein, Lois Duncan, Caroline B. Cooney, all of the Point Horror books. We just, yeah, we talk about the book and we dissect them and talk about our lives. And, yep.

And as we like intimated before, we have kind of expanded the kind of books that we cover. And basically it's just like, if you listen to the show and it's like, oh, this is a Lindsay and Kelly type book, we'll cover it. So it can be, you know, like Pulp from the 70s or, you know, a book from the early 2000s or something, as long as it feels like something that we would cover, we cover it. And sometimes we have guests, sometimes we don't, and it's very fun. And we hope you guys listen to it.

Teen Creeps, anywhere you listen to podcasts. Definitely check it out. And anything else you want to plug? Hmm. Yeah. Oh, I just shot this like very deranged short. And you can- Really funny.

Thank you. You can watch it on the YouTube channel, Delingus. D-E-L-I-N-G-U-S. Probably just search O Meriden. Just search O Meriden. And yeah, that just came out. So take a look. Wow.

Wow, check it out. At this point, it was probably entirely released, but I was a co-show runner on the new Fairly Oddparents animated reboot sequel. It's Fairly Oddparents, A New Wish. It's either currently airing on Nickelodeon and it's just about done, or you can buy it on digital

and it will be coming to Netflix internationally, I think in November. And then there are no current plans for domestic streaming, but there might be by the time this episode airs. Wow. But really proud of it, really fun to work on. Congratulations to you both. That's right.

That rules, yeah, congratulations. Believe it or not, I was actually in Goosebumps fan club back when I was a boy. Wow. Maybe we'll do a Goosebumps for you. We could cover a Goosebumps for you. I would love to do a Goosebumps. Those are like three pages.

Those are really short and infuriating. Mm-hmm. We need to be aware you're in for a scare. A scare. Say cheese and die. Say cheese and die. Wow. Yeah.

There's a dummy one? I thought that was a dummy one. Oh yeah, slappy. Yeah, you're on the cover of that, aren't you? Yeah. That'll do it for this episode of Dull Boys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, I'm Nick Weigel. I'm Nick Weigel.

Happy eating. See ya. Hey, buddy. Want Doughboys merch? We're talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff, aprons. It's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.

That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. That was a hate gum podcast.