Doughboys - Garden of Eatin': Carrots with Jon Glover & Marisa Pinson

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

Jon Glover (@gloveboxx) and Marisa Pinson (@marisapinson) of On Brand join the 'boys to talk the Hollywood Arby's, line cutting, and the history behind "Animal Style" before talking all things carrots in the final episode of The Garden of Eatin': Veggie Table: The Green Gobblin'. Plus another edition of Drank or Stank.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/predator-oral-history-arnold-schwarzenegger-film-1014132/https://www.agmglobalvision.com/nv-in-video-games-and-movies-p-Ihttps://www.sciencefocus.com/the-human-body/do-carrots-help-you-see-in-the-darkhttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/a-wwii-propaganda-campaign-popularized-the-myth-that-carrots-help-you-see-in-the-dark-28812484/https://web.archive.org/web/20220906193923/http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/history4.htmlSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. On June 12th, 1987, 20th Century Fox released Predator, a sci-fi action movie about a squadron of commandos deployed to neutralize a cybernetic alien menacing a South American jungle. The blockbuster would graduate lead Arnold Schwarzenegger to superstardom, elevate director John McTiernan to the top tier of Hollywood helmers, and later birth an enduring meme from a burly bro shake between Arnold and the late Carl Weathers. A masterfully staged and photographed action film, its biggest influence on the genre would

come via the POV sequences from the titular predator, the first widespread use of infrared, or night vision. From then on, night vision sequences would become a staple of the genre, from other science fiction takes like Robocop and Universal Soldier, to more grounded, real-world depictions of close combat like Executive Decision in Zero Dark Thirty. The ability of super-stolders to see in the dark is a stirring cinematic convention. And while our modern concept of night-vision goggles didn't come into battlefield usage until the American-Vietnam War, it was World War II that was responsible for a still widespread

myth that eating carrots can improve night vision. Faced with a massive carrot surplus due to wartime rationing of more prized foodstuffs, the British government strived to incentivize home carrot cookery by emphasizing the orange long boys' ability to gift dark vision to Londoners besieged by nighttime blitzkriegs by the German Luftwaffe. The myth was furthered after British pilots, aided not by carrot consumption, but by radar, proved adept at downing German planes during nighttime raids.

One World War II propaganda poster read, in part, night sight can mean life or death. Eat carrots. The campaign worked, perhaps too well, as even today, it's widespread belief that carrot calories can help one see like a drow in the underdark. Though perhaps that's not the worst myth to believe, the vegetable, rich in vitamin A and beta-carotene, can improve vision in general, though it won't turn your field

of vision into the predator's HUD. This week on Doughboys, we conclude the Garden of Eaton, Veggie Table, The Green Goblin, a month of reviewing Mother Nature's fast food, as we get to the chopper, the vegetable chopper, with carrots. Double or no no boys? No. No. Welcome to Doughboy's the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Weiger along with my co-host Emperor Hero Ito the spoon man Mike Mitchell. What are you doing? What are you doing? What's up Wags? Mitch reached across the table for audio listeners,

picked up a carrot, and held it up to his mouth like Bugs Bunny. Very well played. I said, eh, what's up, Wags? That was a lot of fun. Dave sent that roast in. Ooh, Jimmy wants the carrot. Emperor Hirohito roasted bird fucks on the job.

Sorry, Jimmy. Undercover Bunny. You're on to you.emmy an undercover bunny? I think she might be. You know, I've never heard her bark, so that adds up. There you go. And I did see her jump once. Yeah, she loves jumping.

That's jumping high. Wow. Hmm. Interesting. Is she bone all the time? Maybe she's trying. She's super horny. I'm trying to think about a fourth bunny fact

and I don't have one. What else, what else, what else? She like Easter? Do you lay eggs? She dresses like a old movie star. Okay, there you go. Large brimmed hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Let's see. Bunny facts. You don't have to do that. Don't say Google bunny facts. I have an interesting fact about rabbits and carrots. I would love to hear this. Carrots are actually not good for rabbits.

Wow. That's very interesting. They're not good for rabbits. So people, when they started, because Bugs Bunny famously is eating carrots, and so people were like, oh, bunnies love carrots. Let's feed all the bunnies as many carrots as we can give them.

And they're not supposed to eat them. 100% the reason why rabbits are given carrots. There's a lot of sugar in them. So they're supposed to be given as a small little treat. Wow. Wow. So there you go. Let's see what Jemmy thinks of this. All right, Mitch is holding up a photo of Jessica Rabbit.

Jemmy seems to be looking away. She's gonna wait, in contact with Tyra. She's giving side eye. She's curious. Maybe try like a sexy boy rabbit. Oh, okay. Maybe that guy from Usagi-Ojimbo from the Ninja Turtles. I just put hot boy rabbit.

Let's see what comes up here. In the effort to chase after a rabbit. I thought her goal was to eat the rabbit, but maybe she wanted to like run away with the rabbit. Yeah, maybe find a husband. Wax, how's this? How's this work? This came up for a hot boy rabbit.

It's just a man kissing a rabbit. What the fuck? She looked a little more interested. I can't tell. This is off to a great start. I'll be saving this for later. The Jessica Rabbit picture. Jessica Rabbit was so sexy for being like in a children's movie.

She really was. And it wasn't until I was older as like, oh, these were just horny ass adult animators. These were just like the horniest, like, 20- and 30-year-old guys, like, you know. Obscene cleavage. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, I remember, do you remember the thing from there,

like, the laser disk of, uh, if you pause the laser disk for, um, who framed Roger Rabbit, apparently you could see up her skirt? And so that was a big thing, like, trying to frame by frame that. Oh, I used to love looking frame by frame in tapes. I think we had different child play. Who were you looking at frame by frame to try to catch a glimpse of? Jessica Rabbit.

I had like a Sears catalog with like men's underwear pages up in it. John's really curious about what kind of underwear to buy on the books. Circling them all for Christmas. I've just circled every man in the book. Ha ha ha. Mitch, we are wrapping up the Garden of Eaton this month.

What a month. A month of talking vegetables. Vegetables and fruits. Nature's bounty. How fun this has been. I've enjoyed this, actually. I thought these episodes have been really interesting. It's not a sign that the podcast is in its twilight years.

Ha ha ha. It's a good thing that we're talking about veggies. Yeah. Yeah. No, I like it. Has it informed your eating habits? Do you feel like you've been generally eating healthier? I think that the fact that we haven't had to eat in the last, which is crazy, two weeks.

Yes. Where we've knocked out this month in two weeks. Right. Because we're recording, we're doubling up for records. We haven't had to eat any shitty food for two weeks. It's been great. Yeah, we haven't had to like, hey, we're going to review Wiener Schnitzel,

or we're going to review Jack in the Box. We haven't had to eat real garbage that we love to eat. But when you have to eat it as part of the work. So when we slipped up on our own, which we both did. Exactly, right. You feel a little bit better about that. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I would have done it no matter. I would have had my faults no matter what. We've talked about this and the issue with the podcast and I think a part of the, you know, what's great about the podcast that we're, whose hosts are our guests today is that like there's homework involved but it's not like you have to do something to your body. And that's what we find out ourselves doing with this podcast is like we have to eat some garbage. But then that stops feeling like the fun meal, the fun indulgence that you want to have. So yeah,

I think I've been more mindful of what I've been eating lately. There's some podcasts where you're going to do a lot of, you're going to do a lot of stuff. Yeah. It was a bad premise for a podcast. Doughboys, for sure. Yes. Yeah, I agree. Can I just say-

They've heard the show, I mean, I know. Can I just say, I think you've all noticed that I'm wearing In-N-Out shoes. I love the In-N-Out shoes. I've wanted to be on your podcast for years. I eat so shitty. I love fast food. I love every collab.

I love every limited edition item. And Marissa calls me last week, and she's like, we're gonna go on Doughboys. I'm like, oh my God, where are we eating? She's like, we're eating carrots. I was like, what do you mean, we're eating carrots? She's like, the episode is on carrots. Carrots, that new KFC collab,

where it's like he made carrots. Are you fucking kidding me right now that I'm sitting here with you guys looking at a bowl of carrots? I will say, there is a big bowl of ranch too. That sucks. Making us like, eat big carrots. Are you fucking kidding me right now? That I'm sitting here with you guys looking at a bowl of carrots. I will say, there is a big bowl of ranch there too. There is a big bowl of ranch. Which I did not.

Some old ranch too. For some unpeeled carrots that we can maybe, I guess. They've been washed. They've been washed, okay. We accidentally broke John's heart before we recorded because we told him that the Arby's that he loves to go to is unfortunately closing after 55 years. This is breaking news. This is very sad. The Hollywood Arby's, like loves to go to, it's unfortunately closing after 55 years. This is breaking news. This is very sad.

I was gonna get into this. The Hollywood Arby's, by the time this episode is out, this will be, it probably will be shuttered and bulldozed, and they'll put, been building some five over one condos with the Yoga Works at ground level. Come on, baby. Because that's what happens. But I think the Hollywood Arby's is closing up shop.

Their famous hat sign beneath it, on the marquee, they're saying that after 55 years, we're saying goodbye. And it's sad, because that's the only proper LA Arby's. I think the next closest one is in Inglewood, which is trying to tempt Jemmy under the couch. I'm trying to get her under the couch with cheese. I feel so bad. I'm gonna give you the cheese if you come up on the couch.

I'm gonna give it to you anyways. Cokies don't like cheese. It was carrots. I'm gonna give you the cheese if you come up on the couch. I'm gonna give it to you anyways. Bunnies don't like cheese. Ha ha ha ha. It was carrots. They can eat cheese, which is also orange. They can, but they don't like it. That Arby's comes in clutch. That's a good Arby's.

I go to that Arby's probably twice a month. I mean, it's definitely a staple in my rotation. And I am heartbroken. So not only have I come here, and I'm expected to talk about carrots for two hours. Right before they're like rolling, she's like, did you know Arby's is closing? Go. We could have gone to that Arby's, talked about it,

given a nice farewell. I think it's so bullshit because one, it has a cool sign. And I've said this to you before, like Burbank is now more interesting than most of Hollywood. Hollywood, California, Hollywood, Hollywood. There's history here, a hundred year old history here. Yeah. All the cool landmarks are washed away.

It's fucking boring condos. Cineramidome's like shuttered. Yeah, that's a problem. Cineramidome is shuttered. No one cares. You're saying everybody who comes to visit LA on vacation with their family, get as far

as the Burbank airport, stay in a half a mile radius, and you'll see all that you need to see. Is that what you're saying? Look, Hollywood Boulevard, Grumman's, Chinese Theater, you've got the Roosevelt across the street, all that stuff is good, but they're going to take down the big RB sign? It's fun. It's a fun thing of being in Hollywood. You drive down the street.

Is that why you came to Hollywood as a kid to see Freak with Big Sign? He's flying in. He can see it from the plane. I'm here. Actually, funny you say that because when I did first fly into Hollywood, when I first came to LA, my first flight was to Burbank Airport. And I was like looking out the window being like, whoa,

and then like saw Warner Brother and I was like, whoa, cool. This is Hollywood. But I had no idea that I was like, whoa, cool, this is Hollywood. But I had no idea that I was- That's where the Animaniacs live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Burbank's awesome.

The smoke house, I mean, there's a lot, Burbank has a lot of old, cool stuff now that they don't get, they don't destroy for condos. Yeah. And the airport, it's like carpeted, it's like got carpet from the 70s in it, and it's like, it's all old and small and great. I mean, Burbank is awesome.

Yeah, what's your issue? I love Burbank, baby. Hollywood's losing a lot of its charm. I will agree. It's a lot of its history as being, unfortunately, you know. This hasn't been the same since Kevin Spacey went away. Uh-oh. John's going to be at Arby's on the day they close,

and he's going to have, like, a little black veil over his face, and he'll be dressed in all black, holding a bouquet of roses. The Doughboys will be there with you. When is his official last day? I don't have any context on this. I just found out today that it's closing. So I guess I expect it to be shuttered

by the time this episode is out in August, but I don't know. What was the deal they used to have? How many sandwiches for? Five for five. Five for five. It's iconic. What's your go-to at Arby's? OK, I'm glad you asked, because the deal that used to have? How many sandwiches for? Five for five. Five for five, okay, five for five. It's iconic. What's your go-to at Arby's?

Okay, I'm glad you asked because I was just about to say. So I have now, I have moved up to the half pounder. It's a huge sandwich. I don't take the horseradish sauce. I don't take the Arby's sauce. I go home and I make my own horseradish sauce. Wow. Wow.

And I kind of upscale it a little bit. And it's perfection. Do you just do the roast beef? You don't do the beef and cheddar? I don't. I don't like the onions on it. I used to, I kind of grew out of it. Yeah, I like that cheddar sauce is the thing.

I think they have a really great cheese sauce. And the other thing is like their fries are so good. I love the curly fries. Yeah. They used to have a few tubs of the cheese sauce like in the back that they don't have anything to do with. What the fuck are we gonna do for Arby's? Where's the closest one after this one?

It's Inglewood. And that one I've gone to a number of times. It's a good Arby's. But yeah, it's a little out of the way. What the fuck's going on? What the fuck is going on? I actually know because I talked to the owner of this Arby's like six months ago because I couldn't order online and it was driving me crazy. So I called. I like complained because this is what I do. I was like, I don't understand why I can't order online. And I sent it and I forget about it. And the next day it's like, you have a mail from Arby's.

I'm like, oh fuck, that's right. I wrote Arby's. And the guy calls me and he explained, he's like, we're in Arby's, but we're a franchise. And like, he's like, my mom has owned this for 50 years. He's like, so when you see us, we're more like a mom and pop shop than like a big company. So then I was like, okay, like that made it

make a lot more sense. He's like, we can't afford all the new infrastructure to do all the things that modern stores can do. I'm sure you encounter this with the brands you cover on OnBrand, but it's like, yeah, there are some ones that have much more control over individual locations. And there's other ones where it's just kind of like,

look, you're gonna sell our product and like fend for yourself. That's like the subway model. And like a other ones where it's just kind of like, look, you're going to sell our product and like fend for yourself. Yeah. It's like the subway model. And like a lot of subways are just, the owners are underwater and trapped in debt spirals. I have a sad, I have one of my saddest moments at that Arby's.

You know this. Yeah, I remember. Is that I was in the line. I don't think I ever told it on the podcast. But I was waiting in line and that Arby's has another place where you can pull up. You have told this on the podcast. I have told it.

Like at least three times. Oh, OK. But you can say place where you have told this I have told it like at least three Times oh, you can say it again. I thought that I never told it because it was so embarrassing Yeah, but and some lady pulled up and like to the line right when it was about to like move And she just got there And then she pulled into the spot and I was like the fuck like I beeped and was like what and then she rolled Down a window and I was like I was here first like it was so embarrassing and then I and then she was like fine like go then and then I was like This sucks and so I was in in line and then the way I made up for it is I I got to the cash register

So I was like I'm gonna buy the ladies meal behind me So I bought her meal and then I went around and she came up next to me and she was like, thank you And I was like, I'm sorry like we both just felt kind of embarrassed It was a low moment for both of you I think it was a very low moment for both of us I maintain you were in the right I was in the right This was not like the take turn situation. She was trying to cut the line

Yes, yeah, it's not as if you're in line first and then someone's like hey There's like where they intersect you have to let the people who were in line there first go. It doesn't make any sense. While we're retelling stories, we've told of the podcast. So I related anecdote, which was that I was in line at the In-N-Out Burger. And this particular In-N-Out franchise has a- That's my own.

That's the In-N-Out line? Forget about it. I know, I know, I know. Forget about it. So it's, but it's a long line. And it's extending into the street. And so I'm in the street and there's a part where there's a driveway and there's a big signage

that says, keep Ali clear. So like, I'm the first car in front of the driveway. I've stopped there. I see this fucking car come down. Was it a Scientology sign? Yeah, it was, what, what? What are you talking about? Keep Ali clear.

I don't know, Ali might be a Scientologist. I want to keep her clear. Keirstie Allie was a Scientologist. Keirstie Allie could be it. I guess so. Thank you. Yeah, Keirstie Allie. Wait, how is Allie spelled? Wait, is it the same way? It is spelled the same way as Keirstie Allie. Okay, so you get all mad at me, and you say, Jesus Christ. Yeah, when really you fucking suck, and he rules. And Keirce Alley's dead.

Yeah. So now how do you feel about that? Get your piece of shit. John just like built a suspension bridge to try to justify that long road. There was no long road there. I thought I had it. I mean, I appreciated John backing me up on this.

Yes, yes, yes. Like a good friend, yeah. Trying to make sense of your quip. Anyway, so it said, keep alley clear. Not Keirstie alley. It's not Keirstie alley. It says, keep driveway clear. The sign, the sign says.

Oh, it says, keep driveway clear? Yeah, I'm misremembering now. The sign actually said, keep driveway clear. So your joke actually doesn't make sense, Mitch. Anyway, so the sign says, keep driveway clear. I'm remembering now the sign actually said keep driveway clear. So your joke actually doesn't make sense Mitch Anyway, so the site says keep driveway clear. I'm waiting there This I see this car coming through the alley and I was like they're gonna do it aren't they and they cut in line right in front of me, so Why I order boy, I got out of my car. Oh my god

I put my car in park. I got on my car. I went over there. It's a couple of fucking teens It's like a like a you a girl and her boyfriend or whatever. And I just fucking yelling at them. I was like, are you in line for an Outburger? And I'm yelling at them and they're acting like they, it's like, oh, we can't hear you, sorry, because their windows are up. I was like, I make them roll the window down,

I yell at them. Oh my God. And then I realized I'm at the age where, because they were super scared. I'm at a great yelling at teens age. I've reached that threshold where now it's scary for me to yell at you if you're a teenager, as scared as teenagers have as I've been my whole life.

Anyway, they ended up getting out of line and then parking and then they walked into the store. So it worked. But anyway, that remakes, this happened again, not to me, but I was like, I saw another car, it's the same situation. I saw another car cut in front of the car behind me. And I was like, I know what's going on. The car right behind them starts leaning on the horn.

This was like a couple of weeks ago. And they're just leaning on the horn. And then I see the employees at an outburger, because it's one of those ones where the employees wait outside to take your order with their little iPads. They check in with each other. They're like, come on, let's go. And they go over and they yell at that car.

And they make that car get out of line. I was like, that's amazing. And then I went up to them and I was like, good for you. And they were like, oh, yeah,, let's go. And they go over and they yell at that car and they make that car get out of line. I was like, that's amazing. And then I went up to them and I was like, good for you. And they were like, oh yeah, we love doing that. I was like, oh yeah, you must. Cause you're probably dealing with asshole customers all the time.

So when you finally get to turn the tables and say, get the fuck out of here, you're not supposed to do that. Where you're like, I can stick around here and yell at customers too if you like. Yeah. I have an iPad, you're like halfway there. And they give away the hats. You're just an intern at In-N-Out yelling at people for hitting a line.

You haven't even started the show yet. We haven't. Mitch, you got to play your drop. Imagine seeing your fallen down ass come out of the fucking car. You're very much like Michael Douglas in Falling Down. He was a man at the end of his rope. He was. They definitely still talk about you, that couple.

They might have been having a fight, and then that loosened the tension. Yeah. And then you re-breed. Yeah, they might be like, roll down your window, and then they laugh or whatever. Yeah, they're all over there. Yeah.

It's a possibility. A fucking psycho came by and yelled at us. That sweaty old guy was crying, remember that? But I gotta say this, all you line cutters, it's not gonna happen anymore. Stop cutting the line. Stop cutting lines. The entitlement is crazy, I cannot believe it.

It's gonna come for you. Your day's coming. I like it. I like it. Howdy hoey, it's your boy, The Spoon Man. I'm up here in Canada. Yeah, that's right. I'm here for the rest of the year, which means I'll be here for my birthday. And I'm a birthday guy. I like birthdays. But here's the thing about birthdays. They happen all year. That's right. That means there's probably someone you should be buying a gift for right now.

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It's one of her favorite things. Right now, Aura is having their very first friends and family sale, and they've got an exclusive offer just for our listeners. For a limited time only, you can get $35 off their best-selling frame by visiting AuraFrames.com and using the promo code Doughboys at checkout. That's A U R A frames.com promo code doughboys. This is the best offer of the season. So don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. Check it out. Mitch, this show is sponsored by better help. Wow. Mitch, what are your self care non negotiables? Wipes for me. I never skip leg day. I never skip bicep day.

I never skip therapy day. When your schedule is packed with kids activities, big work projects and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it, Wags. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Mitch, I've benefited from therapy myself, as have you, and I will say to everyone out there, whether or not you've done therapy yourself, it's helpful for learning positive coping skills, how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself, and it's not just for people who've

experienced some kind of major trauma. That's right, Wags. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip leg day, never skip bicep day, and never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash JoeBoys today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp.com slash doughboys. Do it. All right, Mitch, you got a play drop. I'm gonna hit them with the drop. Did I tell you what happened down there on the bayou to meet this recently? I was on Bourbon and Canal when I bumped into a gator walking on his hind legs. You know what he said to me? He told me I'm gonna use my hoodoo powers on you. And look, we have a few drinks one thing leads to another. The gator's back at my hotel room I'm sucking this this gate a little bit.

I said, you son of a bitch, I thought we were friends. And he said, we are friends. Friends with benefits. Oh Jesus. Yikes. I think when we were doing that, I thought it was good. It's the scariest part about all that. Whew, all right, here we go.

Hi gang, Mitch's storytelling about his time in Nolans was too good not to set to some Zydeco music. You know Zydeco music, Wags? Yeah, I saw Zydeco band. Wow. The Long Beach Blues Festival. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Cool. That is cool.

Cool. I like the washboard guy. He's a guy who just goes up there with a washboard and does this. You could get one of those. I bet I could. Yeah. You're good in that. You could entertain people at, you could entertain people in and out as you yell at

them for being a rough line. Hopefully there's a season two of Twisted Metal. There is. And we'll get some more stories about Mitch's encounter with the Gator. Not gonna be a Gator, it's gonna be one of those rare Northern Gators this time. Yeah, we'll get into it. Steve in Ontario, Steve, I might be closer to you.

Wow. Professor Steve in the DS, the Doe scored. PS, yes, this is the second drop I've sent you today. It's either this or clean my house, wow. Yeah, well done, drops at clean my house. Wow. Yeah. Well done. Drops at birdfuck.com. Nice that we're ruining people's lives.

And then if I didn't credit the roaster, that was Dave, roasts at birdfuck.com. And hey, let's introduce our guests from On Brand with John and Marissa. Great podcast, John Glover and Marissa Pinson. Hi. Thanks so much for being here. Thanks for having us. Thank you so much for having us.

For Carrot. Very. No, I'll stop making fun of Carrot. I'm on board. I wanna, Marissa, I'll stop making fun of Karen. I'm on board. I wanna, Marissa, frequent guest of the podcast, beloved guest of the podcast. Oh, thank you. You've been on the road with us.

The hashtag pin pals are going nuts with your reappearance. John, you're new to the pod. And I know you're from Ohio, home of Wendy's, Skyline Chili, Swenson's Drive-In. Do you have any Ohio favorite chain restaurants? Definitely, I'm from Cincinnati, so when I go home- Simply Cincinnati.

Yeah, and so Skyline is ingrained in me. When I go home- Wow. I hit Long John Silver's, which is not an Ohio place, but we don't really have them here. Yeah, no. Skyline, we do have, we have them here with KFCs and they're just not the same thing. Have you been to the one in Gardena?

It's horrible. I've been to all of them and they're all horrible. Like it's just a different thing. Yeah. But Skyline Chili's probably, it's one of the ones that I go to the most when I'm home. And I think it's one of those ones that most people in the country know somehow.

Right. Like whenever you bring it up, everyone has heard of it. So that's probably one I hit the most. Yeah. What's your order? Cause I know you're, you're an onion skeptic, right? Oh geez, sorry. You what?

I didn't even know. He's sneaking by some cheese. I didn't have to confess anything. I was just like, aw, there he is. He looks cute. I'm eating cheese. I'm not hitting on you. We're good. I know. I didn't think I just was eating cheese.

I felt bad. You were telling interesting stuff and I was just sitting here eating cheese.. I felt bad, you were telling interesting stuff and I was just sitting here eating cheese. So I felt bad. Well, Mitch is conscious, because we're on video and it's in the same two shots. So probably we were watching him eat cheese while you were telling him.

Chop on cheese. Yeah, you're gonna go. But hold on, you talk about Skyline Chili. I know you're something of an onion skeptic. Is that correct? Do you go no onions on your orders? Yeah, definitely. So like my thought was-

This kind of pisses me off, actually. Okay, let's get into it. Skyline chili is, like, I always think of that as like you get it with three-way, five-way, or whatever, I've never had it, but like one of the ways is adding onions. Yeah, if you order a cheese coney, it comes with cheese, chili, mustard, onions.

Okay. So I order the same thing, just no onions. Just no onions. Yeah, it also comes on spaghetti, and that's the way you order it, like three-way, four-way, five-way, and each way adds a new thing to it. I think one, I don't usually comes on spaghetti, and that's the way you order it, like three-way, four-way, five-way, and each way adds a new thing to it. I think one, I don't usually get the spaghetti,

but one way adds beans to it, one way adds, I think, the onions, and it just keeps growing. I'm intrigued by the idea of chili spaghetti. I've made it on my own in my home, but like I feel like I'm more of a dog dude. I would get the hot dog. That's what you get there, right?

Yeah, I get the hot dog because I can make the spaghetti at home. I would get the hot dog. That's what you get there, right? Yeah, I get the hot dog, because I can make the spaghetti at home so easily. And they're hot. It's almost like so crappy. You can't replicate, like I've tried to make it at home and like you buy hot dogs at the store, they're actually too good.

They're like too flavorful. Like you have to find a very bland, sad hot dog for it to all work. So yeah, that's what I usually get. And you smuggle the, I've heard you talk about this on brand, you smuggle Skyline chili home. You put it to all work. So yeah, that's what I usually get. And you smuggle the, I've heard you talk about this on brand, you smuggle Skyline chili home. You put it in your luggage.

I do. Yeah. I smuggle so much stuff home. When I come home, I like go to Cincinnati with a bag that weighs like three pounds and I always hit the 50 pound limit on my way back. Wow. It's full of cans, it's full of just foods

from everywhere, it's insane. But it'll be, it's not like foods like necessarily from like the to go section of a store. It'll be like, like a wrapped in wax paper. It's all over the place. Food that like, you'll be at home from Ohio for like a week and you're like, oh, I'm eating something from Ohio. And you said that you love eating food from another land.

Yeah, I have a weird thing. I just, I'm, you know, I like having a little piece of home in my refrigerator in California. For some reason I find that like very comforting. I have a weird thing. I just, I'm, you know, I like having a little piece of home in my refrigerator in California. For some reason, I find that like very comforting. I get that, yeah. And I also get full very easily. So like, I usually can't finish a meal. So I throw in a Ziploc bag and throw it in my luggage.

I'm like, I'll finish this steak in two weeks, you know, in that way. And then most of it goes in the fridge. And then in about a month, I just throw it all away. Wow. Yeah. Wait, everyone's wowing. This feels bad. I don't feel like this is a supportive environment now.

No, that means me and Mitch saying wow means we're intrigued. Okay, when Mar says it, Mar's usually like, hmm, this is sad. Well, John and I were fighting because you recently took some food home from my house. This is for this show? My sister was having a party, and like this was for this show? My sister was having a party, and like,

this was not my party. My sister was having a party, and we live like, we're like neighbors. So we were over at her house for the party, and somebody had brought a cake from Nothing Bunt Cakes. Oh yeah. We know it. And it's so good. It was like a full-sized, like the big boy.

It was the big bun. We know we got the big bun. And it was a big party. There were like 20 people there. That cake is so rich, like you take a little sliver and you're pretty satisfied. John has eyes on this cake all party long. And so is my daughter. My five-year-old daughter is peering at the cake.

She's like, when can we have it? I'm like, this isn't our party. When they cut it, I'll make sure you get a piece. John slithers into the kitchen, cuts himself like a snake. I'll let her tell her side and then I'll tell the same story. A sixth of the cake. Wow. Yeah, wow, wow.

And then later that night, I say, oh, you got some of the cake. Is there any more? No, it turns out the cake is all gone. John is at my home. We're hanging out like this, much like this sitting on the couch hanging out. And I said, oh, you got some cake?

It's all gone. He does not offer me so much as a bite. Oh my God. And I've never had nothing but cakes, nothing but cakes. I went on and on how excited I was to try it, how excited my daughter was to try it. So what? And he takes this big honka cake home with him. None of this happened.

He takes a big honka cake home with him. And then I say, at least John, at least tell me you ate it all. Okay. Did you eat it all? Now my version of the story. I'll make it a lot quicker. It was eat it all? Now my version of the story. I'll make it a lot quicker.

It was at the end of the party, almost everyone had left. This lady's like, should I take my cake home? And we were inside. Nobody else was even there. And one person was like, could I have a little to take home? She's like, absolutely. She had it open. I was like, do you mind if I have a little also?

She's like, sure. I was like, is this too much? You know how nothing but the cake has those bumps? It was like, it was probably serving four three. Three bumps? Not three whole bumps, but it was like, only like an inch and a half, two inches. And then I was kind of surprised she seemed,

she was like, yeah. Like then I was like, I've done something wrong here, but I took it anyway. And then I took it home and And she didn't get any. And I think. The Doughboys will have a ruling on this, right, Wags? Yeah, we'll have an official ruling. OK, I should throw in also that I never

did get around to eating it. I'm really bad about taking stuff home. I just like to take stuff home. John, I will say you're guilty. I say guilty. You're guilty. The next morning, my daughter woke up. The first thing she said was, can I have some of the cake?

And I said, no, Uncle John took all of it, and he didn't want to share. Oh my god. That's why she doesn't like me. And she was like, why? Why did he need so much? You're supposed to share. It's so ridiculous.

I feel like I'm on Jerry Springer. You didn't even eat it. Wow. Wow. Wow. John. Wow. This is going to be rough. John, I think you're found guilty in this scenario for the fact that you didn't eat the cake.

If you ate the cake, I wouldn't have cared about your daughter not getting any cake. Yeah, same. Does it help at all that the cake is still in the fridge? Oh, Jesus. This was like three weeks ago. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Oh, no. That makes it worse, honestly. Damn. Fine, guilty. What's. Oh boy, yeah. Oh, no, that makes it worse, honestly. Damn. Fine, guilty, what's next? Oh boy. Cake doesn't, cake won't, oh I guess it can. Anything can mold, I guess, right? Yeah, you don't wanna eat an old bun.

It's just, you're losing the fun of it at that point. Yeah, I know. I feel like it's been six and three weeks. That is the issue with how I live my life. Like I take home something good, and by the time I get around to it, it's so sad. And then I'll be like, how was it? He was like, eh, it was okay.

It was like, what was it, three weeks old and like sat in your car for like two days? My stomach hurt for a couple of weeks afterwards, but it was fine. Yeah, it was salmonella. We were talking about, we went to Zingerman's, which we love Zingerman's. So this was when we were on tour.

We were in the Midwest. We were in Detroit specifically. And Marissa was with us. She was our guest. Yes. Did you go because I suggested it or were you already going? I think because you suggested it.

I feel like you're the reason you went to Zingerman. That sounds right. I love Zingermans. Before that visit, I loved Zingerman. So I'm sure that I was pushing it as well. Got it. But I'm sure if she brought it up at all, it is because of you. I'm sure it was a joy thing. I'm just saying I was pushing it as well. Yeah, got it. But I'm sure if she brought it up at all, it is because of you.

I'm sure it was a joint thing. I'm just saying I loved Zingerman. Yeah, sure. You had tried Zingerman's before too. Yes. Oh, okay. But he had never been to the, I never- I thought you were a Zingerman virgin. I was not, I was not, no.

Okay. Regular virgin, not Zingerman virgin. I was, I was. Yeah. But yes, Emma, you had never tried it. Our flight got canceled that day. Or was it, yeah, was was that day or the next day? We woke up and our flight was canceled, right? So we suddenly had like a lot of time to kill.

Yes. Yeah, I think we were supposed to fly out that morning and in the middle of the night, all of our flights got canceled. That's right. And Amelia had tried, we had to do some rescheduling and then we had like a whole day to kill before our flights because we had to take night flights.

Which was kind of like great. It was nice, we spent the whole day there. You hated it, I believe. No, we flew, this is the thing, this is part of it. We flew separately. So my flight was early, so I was like part of a, I was a splinter cell and you all went on your own. Yours wasn't direct, is that what it was, right?

Yeah, mine I had to fly to like Atlanta, I think. Yeah, you had to fly backwards to then fly. Right, or Orlando, it was a weird route. Oh yeah, wow. I think I flew to Orlando. That's what it was, right? Yeah, mine I had to fly to like Atlanta, I think. Yeah, you had to fly backwards to then fly. Right, or Orlando, it was a weird route. Oh yeah, wow. I think I flew to Orlando. That's terrible. But you were so happy to not spend any time with us that you took that flight right away.

I think that was the bottom line, it's like, you're like, I'm fucking- We took like a 32 hour flight. Yeah, to not- To be alone on an airplane. I think you got home literally like an hour before us. I did, yes, yeah. And we stayed there, we were there all day. No, there was a reason, it was a thing where it was like,

there was one seat on this flight and two seats on this other flight. It was not like my choice. And guess what, on our flight, the seats were wide open. We had no one sitting between us. We got to sit in a row with a seat in between us. So we could just hang out and put all the food in there. We had got a bunch of pastries and stuff from Zingerman.

Michael Ryan was there on the flight. Michael Ryan was on the flight. It was a great set up. We had a really fun time. We saw the BJ Novak movie on the flight. Michael Ryan was on the flight. It was a very, it was a great set out. We had a really fun time. We saw the BJ Novak movie in the theaters. It was great. We had a great day. But Zingermans, you brought home a sandwich for John.

For John, yeah. Yeah. But what was the sandwich? Was it a Reuben? Yeah, and you have a really specific way. It was like, instead of sauerkraut, you like coleslaw. This is that thing with being friends with John, is you have to know, he has like modifications

on every order everywhere. And so like, I know his orders everywhere. So Zingerman's, he gets coleslaw instead of sauerkraut. Untoasted. Untoasted. And it's on the, it's- On sourdough and set-arai. Sourdough and set-arai, yeah. Wow. And so that sandwich has been in your fridge

for what, two years now? I actually brought it here today. To share. You're like Homer with that big sandwich next to his head. The thing about Zingerman's, I was in Ann Arbor years ago and just came across, Zingerman's had that sandwich and I couldn't believe how good it was.

And then a few years later I was like, is that sandwich really as good as I remember? And I ended up at Zingerman's again, and it was. It's just, I think, one of the best sandwiches I've ever had. It's a great spot. I now order stuff from Zingerman's all the time. I'll send people stuff from Zingerman's

to my mom or whatever. I bought my mom supper of the month club for Zingerman's. Oh, that's fun. And cheese of the month club. So I bought my mom cheese of the month club, my sister's supper of the month club, and then they came together and they had cheese and dinner, it was very nice.

That's really cute. That's awesome. But when did you eat the sandwich when Marissa brought it home for you? And this was a sandwich that I bought at the restaurant. Yeah. And then it stayed like flopping around in my backpack for like 14 hours.

Yeah, you lost some hot coke or some fudge. What was it? I lost it, I had a jar of fudge that I had dumped at TSA, which I was so sad because it sealed. And to me, fudge is not a liquid. It's not a liquid. It's not a liquid.

If you hold it upside down, it doesn't dribble. What's the test? They took away my closed can of Dolly Parton frosting because they said it was a liquid. Absurd. Absurd. Absurd. Duncan Hines Dolly Parton frosting.

You know that they made a big sundae with both of these. That's what I said. Oh my gosh. That's insane. Absurd, absurd. Duncan Hines, Dolly Parton frosting. You know that they're made a big Sunday with both of these. That's what I said. Oh my gosh. And I told her, it's like when you're in that position, it is such a fine line between being able to be angry and getting kicked out, dragged out of the airport. I was like, I know you're gonna eat this.

And she's like, I was like, that's as crazy as I can get. And then I left. I was begging the TSA agent to eat it. I was like, please, it's like a $12 fudge. Please eat it. Don't just throw it away. I'm sealed.

Give it to your children. And he slowly poured it out in front of you. He would have to stand there for like three days to get that spore out because it is not a liquid. But to answer your question, we ate that sandwich either the night she got back or the next day. It was a little long.

It should have been. It didn't last. I thought that if you ate it that day, it would next day. It was a little long. It didn't, it should have been- It didn't last, it didn't, I thought that if you ate it that day, it would be okay, but I guess maybe not. No, we learned that we should have just separated all the ingredients and assembled it there. You can't have a saucy sandwich travel for 12 hours. Well, okay, and this gives me a pivot to On Brand,

y'all's podcast, which people should definitely check out. I've been binging the back catalog. It's an awesome podcast. It's really, really great. It's so entertaining. It's, and it's super like, you, the research is really, really impressive. And you, you, you inform, you know, your subjects,

like, and I'm genuinely learning stuff, even about brands that I feel like I know pretty well, including In-N-Out Burger, which I mentioned earlier. So one thing is that there is a fly away burger that you can get an in and out burger, which is that the components are separate. The hot stays hot and the cold stays cold. So if you want to travel it to somebody else,

you can present it in a better state. Brilliant. Yeah. But another thing is, and I know you don't have your research in front of you, but if you can recap this anecdote, because I found this fascinating, the etymology of animal style, where that came from.

Yeah. Yeah. So the president of In-N-Out put out a book recently and that was not a story. I mean, it's just something we've kind of, it's been on this unsecret menu for all of our lives. Yes, everyone's aware, I think it goes to In-N-Out regularly is where the animals fail burger.

It's the not so secret menu. They call it that on their website. Because it's not listed on the board. Yes. Does everyone know what animal style is? I'm sure if they grilled onions, extra sauce. The patty is cooked in mustard. Yeah, so it's just one of the main ways people order food.

And the story that she told is when the In-N-Out first opened, it was like, you know, back in the 50s, there's like, it's like happy days. Like you've got all these kids that came out in the parking lot, and they're rowdy as kids at that time could be. I guess employees were allowed to make hamburgers any way they wanted for themselves. This guy would make his hamburger that way.

One of those rowdy kids came up and was like, hey, make me something fun. He made him the burger the way that he makes. He's like, oh man, this is great. He leaves, comes back the next day. He's like, oh, give me another one of those burgers. He keeps doing this. And he's finding like, you know,

I need to know a way to like order this hamburger. Like, what do you call this? And I guess the people that had worked in, in and out referred to all those riffraffs outside as the animals. Like, cause they were just kind of wild. And he's like, you know what? All these no good creatures hanging out in their hot rods. Exactly. It's like, we'll were just kind of wild. And he's like, you know what? All these no good creatures hanging out in their hot rods.

Exactly. He's like, we'll just call this animal style. Wow. And history was made. It's amazing. I didn't know the animals were like a crew of regulars. I know. A crew of rowdy guys.

Isn't that cool? Mitch hates it. I want it to be animal from the Muppets. Oh, I forgot to add. That was, that actually was part of it. Yeah. Now I'm excited. It's California, it's back in the day, it's in Hollywood, I wanted it to be animal, I

wanted animal to be there. Here's another bit of research that I- Muppets Studio is right around the corner from an end to an end. That's true. That is true. Here's another bit of research that I wrote down as a bullet point in my own notes from your podcast. The inventor of Pringles was cremated and buried

in a Pringles can. That is true, yes. That's wild. That is wild. The name of a Pringles shape is the hyperbolic paraboloid. And that is the shape of a Pringle. And a lot of research went into that shape and how it perfectly stacked.

And the biggest complaints about chips at that time is that they were always all crunched up in the bag. So they were trying to come up with an invention that would keep chips from breaking before they got to your mouth. And so he was so proud of his invention that he asked to be buried in a Prickles can. Wow.

That's insane. That's so cool. What food are you guys gonna get buried in? Prickles camp. Probably a big vat of chili. Vat of chili? Like a coffin filled with chili that you're just like, pouring in? I think probably something like that.

Okay. We were next door to, at our old studio, which doesn't exist anymore, but we were next door to Chili John's, which is kind of like similar to, what's the place in the- Skyline? Skyline. Yeah, this is a Burbank institution. Institution. Yeah, it's like this old school Chili place. Marissa doesn't give a shit about it.

She'd rather have condos go up in this place. That's right. Give me your yoga words. Give me your Jamba juice. Or should I say Jamba? I went to a Jamba juice the other day. They're just called Jamba now. They're just called Jamba now.

They Sean Parker'd it. They dropped the juice. It's greener. Jamba is like, it's going downhill. I was gonna say, if you have a new condo pop-up, you're not including Jamba juice. No, you're not, no. No.

You might get a sweet green. You could get a sweet green in there, but you're not gonna get a Jamba juice. Yeah, what is the juice? They get a quench, right? Or creation? Yeah, they get a quench or creation. Or, no, would they get even... Or what is the ju... pressed?

Pressed, yeah, pressed. They get a pressed. Juicery or something. I think we reviewed pressed. We reviewed all of these. Yeah, I think so. We've reviewed every fucking thing. Except for carrots. Only carrots.

Yeah, you're not on Popeye's number seven. You're on carrots number one. Number one. Oh, that's true. The first of the carrots. Wags, I'm a man who likes sleep. You know that about me. You know what I like?

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slash doughboys. That's rocketmoney.com slash doughboys rocketmoney.com slash doughboys. Bye bye doughboys, rocketmoney.com slash doughboys. Bye bye, doughboys double. Can I, I'm just curious as someone who has his own like, you know, I do my own research with Mike. What is your secret to research? Because I know this is like- I just want to say if we do carrots too. We'll get there. Will we?

Yeah, well of course we will. Baby carrots. We're getting into baby carrots. we? Yeah, we'll go for some. Baby carrots. Baby carrots. We're getting into baby carrots. Oh, I have some thoughts on baby carrots. Oh, I love this. The more normal carrot, if you ask me. It's funny you ask that because someone,

I think we've posted a couple of times like, hey, we wanna start guesting to more podcasts. Where should we go? So many people are like, you've gotta go on Doughboy's because she's a Doughboy darling. And someone was like, I want to see you and me like go head to head in research because I think they like the way we both research.

We'll see the care battle today. I would say this, listening on Brad, you'd smoke me. Well, John has an Emmy for research. It's true. So we really can't compete with him. It's embarrassing, I don't want to talk about it. Let me tell you about the whole night. No, I mean, it's ridiculous.

I literally have an Emmy in my living room that's like John Glover for outstanding achievement in a craft research, which who even knew that that was a category. What was it for? It was for an HBO documentary called Veto, which was about an age rights activist. And just a funny story about the Emmys,

it was for like the news and documentary Emmys. There's like five different Emmys. There's like the prime time, which is the one everybody knows, daytime sports, news and documentary. And my- The Rossums. Huh? The Rossums. The Rossums.

And so- After I say, no, no, keep Ali clear. You think I'm gonna support you in the Rossums? I thought that was fun. Think again. Think again. Think again. One of the five Emmys is the Rossums. I liked it, and because of the way you treated me earlier, I couldn't appreciate it.

I presented at the daytime Emmys. Ooh, really? For what category? It was, I don't know, some fuckin', I don't know. I watched those. Sexiest news anchor? Best on air fart. Worst presenter.

Me. Hey, I won the award. I won? This is very funny, you know, I went and they were like, you can bring someone if you want, guess who came and watched me present at the Daytime Emmys? Bugmane. Me and Bugmane, Bugmane was there, I presented at the Daytime Emmys? Bugmane. Me and Bugmane, Bugmane was there.

I presented at the Daytime Emmys. Was he just there anyway, just like skulking around? It's a place that he just could be at. But it was me and like a very pretty newscast lady. And we both like went up in red, like, you know, whatever. And I didn't even know who the people were, but it was very, it was fun to do. It was fun to do an award show.

It was very nerve wracking. How did you do it? Did you go up on stage and get the award and everything like that? I did, I did. And they had told us, like, we were up in like the second story. So we're like, there's no way we're gonna win.

And then we won. And then we had to run outside of the theater, like down and like come. And I guess they're showing a clip during that, which is why they show clips, to give people time to do it. And they had told us only one person could give a speech. So the director was giving a speech

and I was standing so far back, because I was so nervous, someone started poking me in the back to get me closer to the microphone. And then I got up there and he finished his speech and I was like, I'm not supposed to say anything. And I was like, fuck it. And I went up, because it was my mom's birthday.

Yeah, sure. I was like, I know I'm not supposed to say anything, but I just wanna say it's my mom's birthday and I just wanna fucking end me and this is never gonna happen again, so this is awesome, yeah. And everyone was like, yeah. Like it was such a cool moment.

That's so cool. Yeah, yeah. For a nerdy researcher. And I just wanna say we were up against 60 minutes. So I was like. Wow. Wow. I fucking beat 60 minutes. Yeah.

Eat shit 60 minutes. Yeah, fuck you 60 minutes. Fuck you 60 minutes. So there's that. Wow. Congrats, that's so cool. Thanks. Who hosts 60 minutes? I mean, there's Ed Bradley, Morley Safer,

Mike Wallace. Jesus Christ, calm down. Mike Wallace. He's got it up on his thing. And then in 1997. No, I actually don't know who the current, I think Steve Croft is on there, but there's been a lot of turnover. He got it up on his thing. And then in 1997. He was just tall. He was a little late. No, I actually don't know who the current, I think Steve Croft is on there, but there's been a lot of turnover.

He has some of those guys passed away. Eat shit, Michael Wallace, that works for me. I just wanted to sell one of them to eat shit. Wasn't there some, there was always someone at the very end, right? Was it? Andy Rooney. Yes, my dad loved Andy Rooney.

Recipe to Andy Rooney, right? He's gone. Yeah. And he'd just go on some cranky thing and he'd just like complain about, you know, whatever. Like these days you can't get a paper menu at a restaurant. You gotta scan a code on your smartphone. You know, I am with him on that.

I actually agree with him. Absolutely. I had a horrible experience at one of these like cool LA restaurants. On Sunset down there, Buena Planta, it's like a vegan restaurant. Sat outside, rats were running around on the patio. Like $16 for a tiny taco, one of those kinds of places.

It could be a Ratatouille situation just to throw it out there. Right, yeah. It could have been Ratatouille, you're right. I shouldn't judge. Thank you. I'll take a take a add a star on my Yelp review because of that.

Could also have been a Koalik family reunion. That's also true. Might have been Koalik family reuniting at the restaurant, having Might have been Koalik and his family reuniting at the restaurant having a meal. The QR code where you don't even see the menu, but then you also have to order, and I'm doing the ordering. And then we're putting in the order wrong, and we're accidentally ordering four guacamoles, and really we just want one. And then the server seems so annoyed when you're like, can you help me? And they're rolling their eyes. They have to go crouch down and help you on your phone. It's miserable.

Some stuff doesn't need the tech. We don't need the tech for it. We don't need the tech. Isn't that why we go out to be face to face? I went to Taco Bell like two weeks ago and I walked in and I was like, someone's standing there normally where you would tell them what you want.

I'm like, I think I'm gonna get, she's like, oh no, you have to order at that like computer behind you. While she just stood there and watched me and I'm like going through menus and, oh, I can't stand it. I hate it. It takes much longer, it feels like, to do it.

Of course it does, because we're not employees. We didn't go through orientation. Did you get the Big Cheese It? I have, I've had it twice. Wait, what? I know, I was saving it for the pod. What do you think of the Big Cheese It? So now Taco Bell's doing a collab.

You know how they have like the Dorito taco and they have the Cool Ranch? Now they have a collab with Cheez-It. So they do a tostada on like a Cheez-It cracker that's like 16 times bigger than a normal Cheez-It. And I got it and I opened up the box. First they packed it upside down. It was like, you know, meat, sour cream,

all those things. Oh my God, what a nightmare. I opened up, it was a fucking mess. And then, I gotta say though, that Cheez-It was really good. The Cheez-It, that's what I told him. Yeah, I'm shocked by this. The Cheez-It's pretty good. It's like pie, it's almost like flaky pie crust or something. It's like a different consistency than the normal cracker.

But it still gives you that taste. You're gonna eat it and be like, oh, this is a Cheez-It, you still get the Cheez-It taste. That's what I was worried about, because the last time they did one of those was the Pizza Hut crossover, right? And that was like nothing like an actual Cheez-It. And it was soft.

It was not as real Cheez-It. It did not get the texture at all. It was not at all, yeah. And you can order the cracker just by itself to the high bar. Yes, yep. And for like a buck, you can just get a big cracker. I didn't know that. Okay.

You get a dozen of those stashed in your purse. French on them during movie. I should have brought those as a gift. That's a good, that's a fun idea. Yeah. It's like the cereal that we've talked about, there's like the big like shredded wheat biscuit. It's like a one big cheese.

Oh yeah. That's fun. Yeah, yeah. I like when like they do a big version of stuff. That's cool. Well, that's why I'm not giving you one of the many totes, but we'll talk about that in our own show. Wow. Wow. Inside joke for on brand.

Listen, if you want to know more. Just regarding the Trader Joe's clothes. The Trader Joe's insulated bags. Yes, this is like a frenzy Maybe by the time this episode comes out. They'll be on to a new a new fad, but we're in a Facebook group It's called meal ideas for busy moms trader Joe's meal ideas for busy moms And we're both in this Facebook group and it's like talking about like trader Joe's news and new items and like recipe ideas And there's this like it's like a mini

It's a lunchbox like an insulated lunch. And it's like the busy moms are like throwing their kids in the car at 6 a.m., driving two towns over, like waiting at the door, bashing other moms on the heads to get to these lunchboxes. It's 3.99, which is a good price, but then people are also like listing them on eBay. Now people are re-buying them on eBay for like $40 each. It's like, what is happening?

So when I found out this was happening, I asked John, oh, did you get a lunchbox? And he was like, no, I didn't really get swept up into it. Lo and behold, he called like three stores, he drove around town, he bought five, and he won't give me one. I get swept up and I like hype things, and I like getting things that other people can't get.

He likes getting swept up. And we all like meat. You have five of those? What's the point of these five? I can't do this, that's not, we're talking about carrots. So beta-carotene. From my understanding, the body turns into vitamin A. Yes, that's true.

Very important. That's true. Five of them. Shut up! Five is a lot of times. I hate this show. I hate this show. Shut up.

Shut up. Marissa should get one. I agree. But, okay, so we thought about this on the pod yesterday. The reason, and she put a poll on our Instagram and everyone's like, give her one, give her one. She started the whole conversation out with like, they're kind of meh, I don't care about it.

Like, why am I gonna give her one? Well, I'm not gonna drive all over town. I'm not gonna drive all over town. I'm not gonna bash another mom on the head. Should we let the Doughboys listeners chime in? Yeah, let them chime in, let them chime in. If John has five and I have zero, what's fair? And she didn't really want one, and I did, and I thought I would use them as gift bags

or something for the doughboys. Okay. All right, I kind of like that. I kind of like that. I do, like I was fully on Marissa's side until you noted her lack of enthusiasm. Thank you. That is a little bit persuasive. Well, I think I was reacting to the frenzy.

Not that my disdain for an insulated lunch tote in general. It's just anytime you see people clamoring and clawing at each other, you're kind of a little bit like, right, we don't wanna be like the Cache Patches or the Stanley Cup crazy people. I like the lunchbox. I just don't like the violence inside. That Facebook group seems insane.

It is the worst. It is so stupid. I looked at it today, and it's supposed to just, you talk about Trader Joe's foods, and this mom's like, I got this new pad see you, and I didn't like it, so I threw it out. You start reading the comments, and someone's like, well, you must have never met a poor person,

because if you're throwing out food, blah, blah, blah. Someone's like, I don't care if I hate something, I'll finish it, because in the world we, and it's like, good god. Yeah, of course. It's a nightmare. So like, I'm basically completely off social media, except for one private Instagram account I have to just follow dogs.

And then Natalie and I just like DM each other the dogs. It's not as cute as you think. They're like very sexy dogs. Yeah. All eight nipples. Right, yeah. It's like Jessica Rabbit of dogs. So, but we just follow, I just follow like sexy dogs. Yeah. All eight nipples. Right, yeah. It's like Jessica Rabbit of dogs. So, but we just follow, I just follow like cute dogs

and I was like, this is the wholesome part of the internet. I can enjoy this, but if you look at the comments at all, it's always like, you know, like whatever. My beautiful Husky loves his brushies when it gets, you know, warm or whatever. And then the comments are just like, you should never brush a long-coated dog. You are hurting the dog.

And this one was like, you can tell the dog likes it. It's like, that's actually a sign of distress. Like, you do not understand dog psychology at all. People are just arguing about fucking everything. Everyone just calm down. I completely agree. Completely agree. We're living in the worst time of history ever.

It's never been worse. Maybe never been worse. I mean, look, I know it's been worse. But it's never been worse. It's like sneaky worse. You know what I mean? We have air conditioning and clean water. And every other way, it's hell.

It's awful. It's hell, yes. For any time we're, yes. I mean, look, people are just just can get mad at me. Of course there's been worse times in history, World War II, the Civil War, there's a lot of bad things. Uh-huh, sure. But it's media taking over, social media, everyone putting their stuff online. It's

gotten worse. It has gotten worse. Mitch was viewing world history through a Eurocentric lens. Didn't cite anything prior to the 18th century. Oh. Oh. Genocide is bad. Killing people is bad. All right.

There's a lot of bad things in the world, but it is. Yes, yeah, yeah. We just live in a very annoying, I think the happiness level is lower. That's what it is. It's so annoying. It's the most annoying time possible to be able to. Everything is fucking annoying, definitely.

It sucks. Including us. Including us. Including us. Yeah. Okay, I do want to talk about carrots, but Marissa, you were a vegetarian for many years. Now you dabble in being omnivorous. Welcome back.

I do eat, I eat meat. Last time I talked about dabbling in meat, I still eat meat maybe two or three times a month, which to me, like from a health and environmental standpoint is nothing. So if I would say if anybody else is like, feels like they could never give up meat entirely, like you have to be all the way vegetarian

or all the way meat eater. I mean, I have a burger a couple of times a month and I have like chicken fingers. I will go to Chick-fil-A, sorry, John, he's gay. Maybe once a month. I guess we're talking about me coming out now. So, it's like 1994. But that's the only kind of meat I like. I only like cheeseburgers and chicken tenders.

Right. But you also have kids, so it's like, I'm sure there's leftover food that you're munching on here and there. Yeah, that's around, yeah. Can I just say, it has been so nice. So I hang out with Marissa and her husband and our producer Alistair. We've literally hang out every Friday

for like the last 15 years, and they're all vegetarian. They all think they're better than me, and they don't say that, but I know they do. And over the last like three years, watching like David start to dabble in meat, and now like they're all eating meat, and it's just been quite- Now we're like, hey, we're ordering

smash burgers from the window. John, do you want anything? And he's like, fucking finally. I waited 17 years for this and yeah, here we are. Fantastic. Have you had For the Win? I have. That's the one I keep hearing about, but that's the best one.

I like For the Win. Is that your favorite? They're expensive though. The one right here, the window's cheap and good. Yeah, it's like three or four bucks. The window's very cheap, yeah, it's cheap. I'll try For the Win for sure. Your husband sent me that,

I just wanna read the last text your husband sent. Dave Neer, Pastel Boys guest. Mm-hmm. Congrats on the Celtics, my man. I bet you are chubbing hard. You are. You are. You are.

You are. You are. The Celtics play, they play a game tonight. I know this is dating it, Wiggs, but this could not be. It was inevitable they would say the exact date that we're recording this in. Hopefully they're playing their last game tonight. Game five is tonight.

Hopefully they're playing their last game tonight. This is baseball. Basketball, basketball. It is, it is June 17th. Yeah. 1994, a good movie year. Philadelphia. I just threw that out, I don't know if it is,

but it seems about right. Pulp Fiction, I think. I think Pulp Fiction. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Hoop Dreams, Boris Gumbel. Ooh, we watched Face Off the other day. That was really good. Face Off, yeah.

I feel like that was right around, I feel like that might have been 1994. Shawshank filmed in Ohio. Hold on. Shawshank is a, come on. We're gonna turn into a shitty verse of the Blank Check podcast for one second. There's some people who are like, people are 1994. Shawshank filmed in Ohio. Hold on. Shawshank is a, come on. We're gonna turn into a shitty version of the blank check podcast for one second. Shawshank is good.

Shawshank's very good. I love that movie. No good movies come out anymore. Every good movie came out from 1990 to 1999. Wow, I like that take. I'm with you, but people get mad at me about it. No, because you look at one year like 94 and you're like, oh, 15 of the greatest movies of all time

came out in one year. This is true. It never happens anymore. So I'm looking at the highest grossing films of 1994 as we just do blank checks, box office segment. The number one film, Disney film, animated film, one of their biggest hits of all time. Lion King?

Not Lion King. Lion King. This is Lion King. Second up, I already mentioned it, Forrest Gump. Third movie involves someone that John worked with. Oh, all right, I know what it is. Yeah. Jeffrey Schwartz from, oh, James Cameron. Yes.

Yeah. Um, oh, True Lies? It is True Lies, number three. I knew it, I was waiting for John to get it, to be fair. I knew it, I knew it was True Lies. Number four, one of- Okay, he's getting a point. Number three. I knew it. I was waiting for John to get it, to be fair. I knew it. I knew it was true lies. Number four won us off. OK, he's not going to get a point.

How can you tell? Yeah. Look, I'm going to need that big cheese at treatment if you're going to notice me getting hard and soft. It's his gay superpower. He knows the status of every penis in every room he's in. All three of you. Number four. Don't focus on, your brain will break

if you focus on Wags for too long. Number four, this is one of two movies in the top 10 starring the same comedic actor. This is like one of those breakout year. The answer is Jim Carrey. Yes, it is a Jim Carrey movie. The mask. It is the mask.

The answer is the mask and the other one is Ace Ventura. Not Ace Ventura. Oh, shit. The third one that came out the same year. Not Truman Show. Not Truman Show. D answer is the mask, and the other one is Ace Ventura. Not Ace Ventura. Oh, shit. The third one that came out the same year. Not Truman Show. Not Truman Show. Dumb and Dumber. Dumb and Dumber, that's right. Wow.

Dumb and Dumber. Number four is the mask, number seven is Dumb and Dumber. Number five, one of the great action movies of all time. Listen to every movie you've named so far. They're all fucking awesome. They're crazy, yeah. It's like a summer in 94. Exactly, one of the great action movies of all time.

It is a Keanu Reeves movie. That's just gonna be the way. Speed. It's Speed a summer in 94. Exactly. One of the great action movies of all time, it is a Keanu Reeves movie. That's just my favorite way. It's Speed, yes. And then number six, this one I probably wouldn't have got because I forgot how big this movie was. This was an animated live action adaptation. Animated live what? This was a live action version of a famous cartoon.

Live action version of a famous cartoon. Live action version of a famous cartoon. John Goodman, Rick Moran. Oh, Flintstones. It is the Flintstones. Flintstones movie. Number eight, a rom-com. A Sleepless in Seattle. Not Sleepless in Seattle.

This is a British film. A British film. Yes, this was a. 1994. This was a Richard Curtis script. Oh, man. Hugh Grant. Not in the film, no.

Oh, Four Weddings and a Funeral. Four Weddings and a Funeral. Four Weddings and a Funeral was 1994? 1994, number nine, a Tom Cruise movie, but not one of his most well-regarded ones. The Firm. Not The Firm. Hmm.

But this is an adaptation. This was a beloved book. The people's reaction to the book, the movie was mixed. 1994, this is... One of the supporting actors won an Oscar for this. Jerry Maguire? Not Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire is maybe a couple of years later.

I'll give the other actor this shit, give it away. Brad Pitt. Oh, Interview with the Vampire. Interview with the Vampire. Oh my God, that was like one of my only books I've ever read. Do you like the book? When I was a kid, it was like my Bible. I was like a vampire in high school.

Wow, really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Were you really into like The Cure? Yeah. I saw The Cure four times last summer. I was a vampire in high school, like you're not fucking understand.

I teased out my jet black hair with toothpaste to be like Robert Smith. Wow, that's awesome. Was I into the cure? I might get into the, can I get into the cure now? The cure's great. Absolutely. The cure's a lot of fun.

Come over, I'll walk you through it. I would love to, I would love to. Keep that thing away. We'll have fun. We'll have fun. We'll have fun. We'll have fun. Number 10 Tom Clancy movie. Ooh, Hunfer at October.

Not Hunfer at October. This is one of the next ones. Pelican Brief. Not Pelican Brief. Oh, good guess. 1994, Tom Clancy. Harrison Ford. Oh, I know what it is.

The Fugitive. Not The Fugitive. The Fugitive is not a Tom Clancy. No, it's not Tom Clancy, sorry. Whatever, I was... It's a Jack Ryan movie. Oh, Air Force One? No.

No, it's not Air Force One. It's Clear and Present Danger. Oh, yeah. I've never seen Clear and Present Danger. Oh, Air Force One? No. No, it's not Air Force One. It's Clear and Present Danger. Oh, it's Clear and Present Danger. I've never seen Clear and Present Danger before. It's really good. Let's get into Carrots.

Air Force One, he actually is the president, right? He's not... Get off my plane. As we get into Carrots, can I just say, so yesterday I was walking around downtown, and there was a box of books, you know, like people put out like books for free. Yeah.

The book on top of the box, I didn't dig through the box. The book on top of the box is called The Carrot Seed. Wow. Whoa. And I was like, okay, there's something here. So I think something bigger is happening than we know right now, but something is happening.

I read the book, it's from 1945, very simple read, Little Boy Plants a Carrot Seed. So you've read two books. My second book. Basically the whole book is everyone in his life telling him that carrot won't grow on the last page, it grows. Oh wow.

And he's like, I knew it would. What were you gesturing about while he was talking? It's gotten hot in here, I don't know if you've noticed. So I told him to turn it on at the AC. And it was set at 75 again for some reason. Talking about auto recess. Laying on John's bed, listening to cure. Auto recess to 75 degrees.

Yes, that's the eco-friendly way to set your air conditioning. The air C recess to 75 degrees. It's gonna take four hours to get to 65 degrees, is what that said. Yeah, but it will just be blowing cold air, right? It blows cold air in. Until it resets to 75. Just call the air conditioning the Air C.

Never heard that abbreviation. Did I say Air C? I think you said Air C. Air C. Yeah, it was intentional. It was cool, you fucking asshole. The Air C. It runs hot too.

You guys both run hot. I also run hot. I was gonna turn the air on when we start. Come on. I get a little toasty. We're under lights for people that don't know. We're just a couple of big boys who like the cure and hanging out.

In the AC. In the AC. My AC upstairs is broken. I gotta figure it out. Oh, what a bummer. Oh, God, people are gonna get so mad that I said my AC upstairs is... I don't have AC, so...

You don't have AC? Also, you should listen to the cure in Mitch's bed. Wait, we're listening to the cure in bed? Yeah. She came up with that. I have, and I'm not even lying, two full-length black capes. So if you wanna wear one... You can't. up with that. I have, and I'm not even lying, two full length black capes. So if you want to wear one, you can.

I love that. I really do. I'll wear one of those capes. One of them's from high school, like my archived cape from high school. Wow. Yeah. I had no real style in high school.

I don't think that that's that surprising. But I try to wear like, my mom would buy me like a Gap sometimes but I had a shirt from gap that said 16 on it I wore it on my 16th birthday I had one that said 17 on I wore it on my 17th birthday so that was kind of all I had no style though where on your 18th birthday sure that's a 18 I had one for 16 17 18 but I couldn't fit into abracrambie stuff, which was like the cool, yeah, that was the cool style. None of that fit me really. No, that whole thing.

Sizes chain. So we're in the Garden of Eden discussing carrots. Now a wild carrot seed is indistinguishable from a garden carrot seed, so it's unclear when they were first cultivated, but the best estimate is 5,000 years ago in Afghanistan. The etymology of carrot is from the Proto-Indo-European word care, meaning horn or head, describing the shape of a wild carrot.

And then that becomes the Latin carota, which is the middle French carrot, and the English carrot. I actually don't know how to say it in the middle French, which surfaces around the 1530s. The World Carrot Museum, this is interesting, was one of, if possibly the first, virtual museum, launches a website back in 1996. Wow. Carrots are so boring, they didn't think they needed a real museum. So they're like, we can just post a picture online

and everyone will be good. Can I read the book to you guys? Uh, yeah, sure. Will it count as a Mitch one-book challenge if I read it? Um, I mean, it count as a Mitch one book challenge if I read it? I mean, it's super short. It's a very slim volume. That's like a Nintendo 64 instruction manual, basically.

It's actually kind of shorter than that. The carrot seed. A little boy planted a carrot seed. Yeah. His mother said, I'm afraid it won't come up. Heard that one before. His father said, I'm afraid it won't come up. From your mom? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. His father said, I'm afraid it won't come up. That long before. From your dad? And his big brother said, it won't come up. Never heard. I don't have a big brother. Every day, the little boy pulled up the weeds

around the seed and sprinkled the ground with water. But nothing came up. Wow. But nothing came up. And nothing came up. Everyone kept saying it wouldn't come up. But he still pulled up the weeds around it every day and sprinkled the ground with water. And then one day, a carrot came up. Just as the little boy had known it would. The end. Beautiful little story.

How about that? I think it was a very nice story. Next time you have a lady friend over and she's a little concerned, just slide that book across to her. You can do that. All I need is my family to tell me that I won't, it won't come up, and then I will be able to come up.

Yeah. Mom, tell me it won't come up. A little dribble of water every day. Sprinkle it. Pull the weeds. Push the pubes, pull the pubes, pluck the pubes out. Pull the pubes. It won't come up.

So China is the global leader in carrot production, followed by Uzbekistan, the United States, and Russia. Baby carrots consist of 70%- Very nice, Korak. Wrong country. All right. It's Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan. Aw, come on.

Baby carrots consist of 70% of fresh carrot sales, and according to Forbes, 60% of the American carrot crop is produced by two companies in Southern California, Kuyama Valley, Bolthouse and Grimway. Those two companies is produced by two companies in Southern California, Kuyama Valley, Bolthouse and Grimway. Those two companies alone, these two companies that produce the bulk of American carrots use 67% of the county's water.

So it's just one of those things where it's just these two huge agribusiness firms are just sucking up all the natural resources. But let's go back to, let's talk generally about carrots because we went to you, Marissa, I think you settled on carrots. You were like, I want to talk about carrots. It seems like John does not like carrots.

We went back and forth. We talked a lot about what vegetable to do. Oh, so you did go back and forth. Yeah, we did have a little discussion about it. Cauliflower was a contender. So it seems a little like had its moment five years ago. We would that. Brussels sprouts, again, another one we like,

but I'm also like Brussels sprouts, that feels very like 2010. Yeah, I guess you could talk about the urine and all of that. Makes you peace now. That's fun. The piss factor is funny. That's fun, the piss factor. We settled on carrots because we really liked

the versatility of the carrot. Sure. So something that I make for John for his birthday, I make carrot cake. Fun. That's nice. A special his birthday, I make carrot cake. Fun. That's nice. A special dessert, a really good carrot cake. And we were thinking about snowman's noses.

That's very fun. Wow, I don't have that in my notes. That is a good one. What? And that's big. I even know why they use them for snowmen. Wait, really? I mean, if you trust the internet.

Please. Basically because snowmen when they, in like the fifties or snowmen in the 50s, or snowmen used to be made much larger and were supposed to be more menacing. So they wanted something pointy for the nose. Sometimes they would use a icicle that would melt. Carrots are a vegetable that are able to grow in the winter

and they're cheap and people always had them and they're also pointy. So they would start using this. Why did they want snowmen to be menacing? Who, you know, Santa used to be weird too. That's true, everybody was, yeah, likes scary stuff. You wanna know something sad? I've never built a snowman.

I don't know if I have either, but I also wear both from SoCal. Yeah, we're beach babes. I will say I have built snowmen. It's not as usually ideal as you think it is. Like when you start, like if you've got the right kind of snow and it's wet and opaque,

like as you start to roll it, it starts to pick up like dirt and leaves and they usually look a little like clumpy and lame. Mine wouldn't, mine would be good. Okay, all right. I wouldn't roll it over a pile of dirt and leaves. It's what the snow is on. I don't know much about snow.

I feel like the bottom is just more of a mound than it is a ball. You don't forget the perfect three balled snowman with the bottom ball, middle ball, top ball. And then within a couple of days, the sun comes out and they start to like shrivel and melt and they just look weird. Most of my awareness of snowmen is from Calvin Hobbs

because he'd built a lot of snowmen. There's no snowman jokes in that. Of course. You know the animated film, The Snowman? Oh, we've talked about this. I don't know if I've ever seen it. I'm walking in the air. Yeah, you like the song from it.

Yeah, it's very nice. I don't think I know that. I'm walking in the air, nice sun. It's a very nice song. That is nice. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that movie's beautiful. It's a very beautiful, it's like a French movie,

I believe, about a snowman. But yeah, it's very hard to make them, I don't know how good you do. With the three balls? You're on. I'll see you there. I love the snow, I go back to Massachusetts. Great, I'll be there.

If there's a snow storm, I'll be walking through, I will walk through, I'll walk through the woods in the snow, I love the snow. Oh wow. Yeah, the snow's great. It's very beautiful. Did you just listen to the crunching of your feet? It's very nice. That's nice.

It's very silent. You sit, it's great. I love the snow, but it is, carrots are a big part of it. I have seen snowmen with carrot noses. I have seen that before in the wild. Wow. But.

You ever seen one with a corn cob pipe? They're harder to come by these days. They are, yeah. I just know that from Frosty the Snowman, the song. I would see snowmen with carrot dicks too. They would do that. Yeah, that's very funny. That is really funny.

Maybe a couple of cobalt. Yeah, a couple of cobalt. Yeah, cobalt. Maybe three of them to match his form back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that works. Carrots to me are something that I am never excited about, but I wouldn't want to do without them. That's how I feel about them.

Interesting. That is really profound. about them. Interesting. That is like really profound. Cause thank you. I think that- There's your movie, A Day Without Carrots. I'm not even kidding. I mean, look, you get your carrots and when you got a vegetable tray, who's the number one dipper?

The carrot? Yeah. Celery. I would do celery. Celery? No, the strings, no. Celery's a perfect delivery for the ranch. I agree, I'm a John. Oh no. But that do celery. I would do celery. The strings, the strings, no. The baby carrots. Celery's a perfect delivery for the ranch.

I agree, I'm with John. Oh, no. But that's because it has that channel. Yeah, it's like a little trough. It's great, it's part of it. It's part of the fun. Yeah, but the celery, it doesn't, the carrots got a nice little bite, crisp bite to it.

It's got a good taste. And the water in the celery waters down the dip. Interesting that you bring up water. Did you know carrots, I'm sure you know, are like, what, 75% water? Which I did not know. Yes, yeah, yeah. Wow.

Way more water than I thought. How did we get, how did the, how did these two fucking investigative carrot haters not end up on the same couch? We should have you on the party couch. What happened? Because I research, it's what I do. Like, I'm sitting at home like, carrots and pop culture.

Um, okay, cool, did that. 15 fun facts about carrots. That's what I do like I'm sitting at home like carrots and pop culture 15 fun facts about carrots, that's what I do there There is a movie where the carrot breaks, you know I'm talking about and the guys code or something like that. What are you talking about? There's a carrot that breaks. It's something like he thinks his dick broken. It's the carrot. There's something I don't know I've got what what are you talking about? The fuck are you talking about? Why are you getting hard again? Hard, farty, see? Wait, is it like in his pocket, you hear a crunch and you think it's...

Yeah, you hear a crunch and it's a carrot. Is it like Dumb and Dumber or something? Maybe it's Dumb and Dumber. Is it Dumb and Dumber? Someone out there will know what I'm talking about. A carrot that breaks in someone's pocket. I feel like Casey knows the most about film of any US. I need like way more context.

You don't have enough, a carrot breaks and he thinks it's his dick. Yeah, it's like, oh. If you can't get it from that. I think it's in a montage with just music playing, so you just see his face like, oh. And it's like, oh no, your dick broke. And then it's like, reveal, oh no, it's just my carrot.

It's a carrot. There is something like that that happens. That might have been done in them. I don't know, we'll have to. I'm just trying to think of the pop culture shit with carrot. There's not a lot. Have you seen the ads for the bent carrot? Yes, this is for Perrione's disease. Or how do you say it?

Perrone's? Perrone's disease. But their whole thing is carrots. Is it Perrone's? I think something like that, or Perrone's. It's for bent dicks, but they use a carrot as the model. Wow. I'm sure that makes the guys with that condition feel great.

Also a carrot? Come on now. Carrots are pretty fucking big. Come on. A carrot? Come on. What do you want, like a radish? What works for you? Oh, I love radishes. We thought about doing a radish too.

Radishes are very fun and very similar in many ways. Look, I like a cut up carrot and then you broil it in the oven with some olive oil, salt and pepper. Carrots are good, but we're liking carrots the most when they're in stuff. You like it chopped up in a salad, right? Like you like it in a- In a soup.

Yeah, yeah. I do love a carrot or carrot ginger soup specifically, I feel like is really fun. You don't like that. I like carrot soup, I don't like ginger. You're not big on ginger. Yeah. That salad dressing that they have at Japanese restaurants has a lot of carrot in it.

Yes, right. Yeah, that's really fun too. Did you know, fun fact, you like them roasted, carrots are more nutritious cooked than they are raw. Wow. Wow. That's interesting. Because it produces more beta carotene.

Yeah. Looks like you just got replaced. Oh no, was that your fact? Sorry, I knew I shouldn't. No, I love this. No, that dipshit didn't even have. Sorry, I knew I shouldn't. No, that dipshit didn't even have that. That's what I'm saying.

I literally have a Google doc that just says, Doughboy's carrot. I love that. How did you commit it to memory? Without my notes, I'm lost. I don't know. I guess I just have a smarter brain. I got a good idea.

They pinch off into a dork pod. Me and Mitch pinch off into a party pod. Right now, it'd be like you two and us two. The party pod. So there's Alex Barron, who edits the aforementioned blank check podcast, coined the phrase, the professor and the bully, to describe like a common podcast host dynamic.

And I think that's just obviously, Doughboy is maybe the Ur example of the professor and the bully. But very much with your pod, it's the same thing. Marissa, clearly the bully. The dumb professor. Yeah. I think that it's the professor. of the professor and the bully. But very much with your pod, it's the same thing. Marissa, clearly the bully. The dumb professor. Yeah.

I think that it's the professor. And the coward bully. Fair enough. That's a compliment. In the podcast world, that's a compliment. A bully as a bully. How many failed podcasts tried to have two professors? Right.

Good point. Two bullies. It's like, you never heard of them. There's a reason why. Is there anything worse? What a snooze. We gotta have our bullies. And let's us shine. You look better in my comparison.

Conover is like Professor X. He's like the biggest professor. It's true, yeah. I was just saying, yeah. He's got a school for talented. Podcasters? Podcasters, yeah. The next generation will be under his wing. Let's talk about baby carrots. So do you like baby carrots?

Yeah, we're talking. I think baby carrots start at conception. You're not allowed to throw away a pack of seeds. You know, I feel like baby carrots are, sometimes they're good, sometimes they seem so bland. I'm pretty unenthused about baby carrots, but I will say that they only date to 1986, which I was surprised by. I thought they were older than that. I know they're not actually

baby carrots. I know they are pieces of carrots, but some of this is actually much of this is pulled from a Price and Omics piece by Rosie Seema. So most carrots grown commercially are too ugly to be grown in supermarkets. They're misshapen, twisted, curved, too short, too skinny. And so what happens, a lot of them are diced or canned. Jeez. I feel bad for these fucking mutant carrots. This is the thing.

They're just like aesthetically ugly. You've heard those before. They're not like these pleasing carrots we have on our tablescape. They're like, they're ugly, and then consumers won't buy them. So some are diced, some are cross cut, some are canned, some are frozen.

Peas and carrots partially comes from like just taking like these misshapen carrot hunks or they're mashed into baby food. But up until baby carrots, the overwhelming majority were composted. So in the 1980s, farmer Mike Urasek had one of the largest carrot farms in California. He was throwing away about 400 tons of crop every single day because they were unsellable.

He tested out clipping full-sized carrots with a green bean cutter and then peeled them with a potato peeler and made a little stubby skinless carrot. And that's what became the baby carrot. And when he sent his first test batch of baby carrots to a supermarket in LA, Eurosex says, next day they called and said, we only want those. They only wanted baby carrots from that point forward. Wow. Yeah. I just got chills.

Oh my god. Like creeped out chills from sitting next to a lager? Well, that too, but I'm habituated to that. Just like that moment where it's like getting the call of like, the world is forever changed. We own it now 70% of the market. Like that's just huge. It's part of the culture.

It's like the scene in the music biopic when they hear their song on the radio. Absolutely. Absolutely. I've handed around the carrots. We got all the carrots. I didn't get a carrot. Yeah, I didn't get one. I'm smelling the carrots. Thank you.

Why are you smelling them? Okay, can I? Because we're just examining them. We're holding, I'm gonna break this carrot. So can I tell you, when I eat carrots my whole life, I eat a lot of things very weird. Carrots, I eat like corn, and I try to not bite that core.

There's a core that goes through it. It's actually the taproot that brings water into the carrot. and I try to not bite that core. There's a core that goes through it. It's actually the taproot that brings water into the carrot. And I will eat the whole carrot until you just have that core left. Wow. And then do you eat that last? I do. Wow.

How did you start doing that? Was this thing you started doing as a kid? Yeah. I did a lot of weird food things as a kid. I'm taking bites of the, is this a purple carrot, red carrot, what would you call this? It's a purple carrot. Carrots come in all kinds of colors.

I did not, like here's the thing. So many of the carrots, it's been a long time since I've just eaten a raw, unpeeled carrot. Cause every time I eat a carrot, I just dropped a piece on the ground. Every time I eat- Dogs can eat carrots, right? Mm-hmm.

Every time I eat a carrot- Like the movie. What? Like that movie that we can't eat a carrot. Like the movie. What? Like that movie that we can't remember. Oh. Oh, where he broke his dick. Where he broke his dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, my dick! You know, that was just a carrot in your pocket? I'll think of that. Someone will remember it. What a perfect food to eat with a mic right in front of your mouth. Right. Very crunchy.

People with mesylvonia hate this. They're usually peeled a little bit. Can I take, I don't want to take a bite of the peel. That's the thing, I only have peeled carrots. I don't really eat the peel at least. Turns out the Headgum Kitchen doesn't have a peeler. I wouldn't expect it to. But we did, they're washed, they've been scrubbed.

It still tastes good. I think I prefer the taste of a whole carrot to a baby. I don't know what happens in that, I'm assuming they're soaked in bleach or something. I can probably answer that because I did a little research to see if other people just do this core thing I do and a lot of them do. And because that core is the taproot

and it brings the water in, it's less flavorful. And I think baby carrots, they get whittled down. So they're more core. Interesting. Interesting. Oops, all core. Also, I don't like when the bag of them, they're all wetir. They're more core. Interesting. Interesting. Oops, all core. Also, I don't like when they're, like the bag of them, they're all wet, like to keep

them fresh. Yeah, I don't like that. You know what I mean? They're all wet. They're a little slimy. Some of them have like splits and crags in them. I don't know. Mitch and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings on Friday and I got the wings, but I always get

side of carrots and celery because I can't have wings without that. To me, that's a necessary accompaniment. I got baby carrots. Instead of the strips? Instead of the kid, the strips. I was like, that's a bummer. I don't want baby carrots. That is a bummer.

That's trash. Are you ranch or blue cheese? Ranch. I used to be blue cheese and I kind of grew into ranch, which I'm shocked by. I'm a ranch man too wise. It never goes that way. It always would go ranch, blue cheese.

Never blue cheese ranch. No, I loved blue cheese when I was younger and then I was like, maybe ranch is the way to go. I think you're aging backwards. Because I don't think anybody likes blue cheese as a kid and then grows into liking ranch. Ranch is like, they gave it away. There's, there's, I, there are,

I like a lot of blue cheeses, but I do, I like ranch. I gotta say this, Buffalo Wild Wings, we had a great time. We did have a good time. Pretty decent price for the whole thing. I had some boneless wings. I was enjoying myself there. Boneless wings, now, like, is that really a wing? No.

I think that feels like a nugget. It's more of a nugget. Here's, it is more of a nugget. It is more of a nugget. On the East Coast, there are more substantial boneless wings. And- But you're still talking like it's more than more like a tendy. On the East Coast, there are more substantial boneless wings. And- But you're still talking like it's more than more like a tendy. It's like breast meat, right?

Yeah, yeah. I think the, I understand why it's marketed as a boneless wing, like I understand, but it's not a wing. Are you embarrassed that you get a big plate of nuggies at B-Dubs? I mean, no, I'm not. I like my nuggies.

I have no issue with getting nuggies. I, and you call them tendies, which grosses me out. Why is nuggies better than tendies? Nuggies are cute. They're both bad. Tendies is like sexual and dirty. Why? Nuggies is cuter.

Yeah. It's not tendons. Everyone brings this up with boneless buffalo wings. Yeah. Boneless buffalo wings. Sorry to do that. Is that they're tenders or nuggets. Yeah, I know, but they're boneless buffalo wings. Boneless buffalo wings. Sorry to do that. Is that they're tenders or nuggets. Yeah, I know, but they're boneless buffalo wings. They're a thing.

It's a thing, okay? They're not nuggets. What about when you get like a vegan wing and it's like on a stick, like on a little dowel rod? Have you had that before? No, but that is fun. I like that. Yeah, they put like, they use like a dowel

like from the hardware store. And they'll wrap like fake meat around it and then like put a little layer of like soy skin or something and fry it. So it still has like skin and then it has tofu or whatever. I love buffalo sauce. I've never, I never ate when I was a vegetarian and even before when I was a kid,

I never ate meat off of the bone. I probably had like a bite of ribs in my life. I've never had like KFC or anything like that. Because the bone is just too, I don't know, it feels a little too primal. Wise likes that side. Do you like eating off the bones? Yeah, I love the bone, yeah.

Why? That's hot. I don't know. When you get all the juicy bits, do you like suck on the bone? I do, yeah. That is hot. And you watch? Watch. I only do it in front of bone? I do, yeah. That is hard. And you watch?

I watch. I only do it in front of me. I watch. I throw money at them. I make them stare me in the eyes. Do you get like bone marrow, ever? I do like bone marrow. Oh wow, he's like a bone boy.

You're a bone boy. My god sister will, my god sister Sarah, who you know. Yeah. Hope you're doing well, Sarah. Hi Sarah. She had an appendix issue earlier this year. Oh boy. She's doing a lot better.

But she eats wings like no one else. She gets in, when you see the bones at the end, they're just little shells of bones. I do really enjoy stripping things clean. Natalie is like that too. And she'll also, with a shrimp, a whole fucking shrimp, she'll just get every bit of meat out of it. And I was like, that's crazy. You just like suck the head dry.

I don't like that. Oh, God. Here's what I was gonna say. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry.

You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry.

You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. You suck the head dry. What the fuck was that? Here's what I was gonna say, which I can barely, my mind is stuck on that now, but. Sorry.

The carrots and celery at Buffalo Wild Wings should come regardless. It shouldn't be one of the- It shouldn't be an extra dollar. It shouldn't be an extra- It was a dollar extra. Absolutely not. It's an upcharge, yeah.

That is crazy. It's supposed to, what's going on in this country? We are living in the worst time. These are the worst times. It's such a bummer. Again, that's just so annoying. It's like, yeah, fine, I'll give you a dollar because I want it, but it's just like,

this is like one cent worth of product. This is all profit. This is not costing you anything to have fucking pre-cut slices of, or pieces of carrot and celery. And it used to just come by default, but they figured out a way they could upcharge like the airlines, it sucks.

I love a good blue cheese, I like a ranch. We should open the ranch, John, would you mind grabbing that ranch? Sure. I mean, the ranch is not a part of it for the record. It's not a ranch episode. No, but this is homemade ranch. Mike made ranch, yes.

Yeah, Mike made homemade ranch, and it goes, I mean, like you said, carrots are such a ranch episode. No, but this is homemade ranch. Mike made ranch, yes. Yeah, Mike made homemade ranch, and it goes, I mean, like you said, carrots are such a good dipping. It's not like I should bring some ranch. Ranch is the ketchup, ketchup to french fries, ranch is to carrots, how's that sound? Maybe just to vegetables in general, but also I will say, I kind of love ranch

just with fries too. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, it's like the- Mike made this to put on top of a buffalo chicken quinoa bowl. Oh wow. That was really yummy.

How'd that come out? That sounds good. It was fucking amazing. That was awesome. You're gonna drink it. Calm down. I kind of might, honestly. This is a delicious.

It's really good. It's delicious. How did I get it on all my fingers already? Good God. You have can? Thank you. Can we go back to, while we're snacking on this, can we go back my fingers already? Good God. You're an African. Thank you. Can we go back to, while we're snacking on this, can we go back to carrot cake? Oh yeah.

Because you mentioned this. What is your, do you have a recipe? Are you making this from scratch? So my friend's mom, my friend used to make this carrot cake for me and it was the best carrot cake. There's no nuts in it, there's no raisins in it. It's just dense, soft, moist carrot cake with a thick cream cheese frosting.

And it was her mom's recipe. So she would make it and I passed it on to her and then she fell in love with it and now she makes it for me. So I have like pictures of like index cards with this old lady's carrot cake recipe. And that's what I've been making for years. So I don't know the old lady who made this carrot cake, but it is so sweet.

Carrot cake maybe is like one of those, you kind of would assume maybe it's a little healthier because it has carrots in it. But it is as sweet as a cake. You eat a piece and you feel like your blood is vibrating. It is so much sugar in the frosting. And John is like loves frosting, like super thick buttercream or cream cheese frosting. Yeah, I'm more of a cake man over the frosting. Really? Yeah. I'm just, by the way, I'm licking off, I'm just like getting the ranch off the,

the ranch is really, the ranch is really good. I gotta give you guys a ranch. I gotta give you guys a ranch. You should have. Thank you. You broke Mitch's brain with the ranch. The ranch is good. You're just like licking ranch. Can I talk about a dish that I had a lot growing up

and I don't feel like I don't ever encounter it anymore? Carrot and raisin salad. Oh, god. That's like with ambrosia. It's like things you just never want. I think it's kind of gross. But I just found myself on so many, I think a lot of it was Boy Scouts,

but just like so many camp outs and cook outs. Does it have like a mayo base or something? Yeah, so basically what it is, my memory is it's grated carrot, raisins, and then just basically like, like kind of the sweet mayonnaise that you put in coleslaw. Oh God. And so it's basically- But then, I mean, make that small change to coleslaw

and you're loving it. You love coleslaw. I know you do. I love coleslaw, yeah, but did you ever have that salad, Mitch? I did, yeah, yeah, I do not like it. It felt like something I ate at my grandma's house and was like, I don't wanna ever touch this again.

Such a weird dish. What was it for? Isn't that so weird? Like it's the same as coleslaw, basically. Yes. So like, are people, are like, Jen Alpha gonna be talking about coleslaw? Like, is this like disgusting 1950s food

and then we're gonna be defending coleslaw? They're gonna be like, oh, it's like cabbage with mayonnaise, like sweet mayo on it. Could be. I think so. I've noticed in the course of my life, the sun setting of casserole. Like casserole used to be a thing, and now no one's like home cooking casseroles regularly.

And that sucks, cause there's a lot of really good casserole. Yeah, casserole is good. Meatloaf is good too. A crispy top on something, you gotta have it be in in a big oven safe dish with that crispy brown top. That's the best.

Yeah. Do your kids like carrots? I feel like it's a big kid thing. Yeah, they surprisingly do like carrots, but only raw, not cooked. Yeah. Interesting. And raw cauliflower and not cooked cauliflower.

Kids are weird about textures. Yeah. Yeah, cause cauliflower I'd, is maybe bad raw. I agree. And it's always, anytime you get one of those pre-made veggie platters, like crudite, raw cauliflower is always on there. And I'm like, who is eating raw cauliflower? It's too much.

It's too much. Carrots, I like more cooked. I'm more of a fan of them cooked, but they are also very good raw. I think, again, when they're not cooked and you're eating them with ranch, great. If it's broiled with salt and pepper and olive oil, great. But then besides that, I just always like it in something else. A Thai food in a wrap, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, I think there's a lot of context. I enjoy carrots. I do literally like a roasted carrot. I think those are really fun. She's made a carrot bacon before. Oh yeah. Whoa. Using like a grater, like a peeler

to get carrot slices really thin and then tossing with like soy sauce and maple syrup. I mean, anytime you call something bacon, there's people in the comments that are like, this isn't bacon. Right, yes. Don't call it, call it like whatever. People get so mad about every, that's you.

Yeah, I thought I saw your little avatar, Mitchy Two Spoons username. People get really mad when you call something bacon, but it's like liquid smoke and soy sauce and maple syrup and like smoked paprika, those kinds of things, olive oil. And then in the air fryer, and it gets like thin and crispy and really savory and good, yeah. Yeah, I love it.

I mean, I love any sort of baked carrot preparation. I'm a fan. Yeah, so yummy. I also, look, we talked about earlier, Bugs Bunny has a carrot. It's fun to make it like a cigar. It is fun. There's a lot of fun things. I think it's up there.

You know, the tomato is kind of the anti-comedy. That's true. I know it's a fruit. But we say for this, we said that a tomato is a vegetable, because we're sick of people calling said that a tomato is a vegetable because we're sick of people calling it a tomato. We were wondering, we didn't know if we were allowed to do seeded things.

I mean, we say it's- We discussed the taxotomy early on and I think we just don't need to be too rigid about it. We know what a tomato is. Tomatoes anti-comedy, but I think carrot is one of the top comedy veggies. Among vegetables, I mean, I'm just trying to think. So these days, the eggplant has a funny connotation

because of the emoji, but I think that- It's kind of blue, though. It is a little blue, not everyone can enjoy it. I never really like, I was long to understand that, the eggplant. Yes. It took me a while. You know what I think it is? I saw a documentary recently,

did you see that one where the guy, I think it's called The Contestant. The Contestant, yes, yeah. And on that show, they just covered, it's a guy who's naked, basically, on a reality show. His name, I believe it was Nasubi, but his name is, he nicknamed himself Eggplant in Japanese. That's part of his professional name.

Because his head was really big. Because of his head shape. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. And so they would use a proto-eggplant emoji to cover up his hog when he was on the show because he was naked all the time. Yeah.

Yes. I think that's probably where it came from. So is that where it came from? There's some suspicion that that's where the emoji came from. It's not like it looks like a peanut. Like an eggplant doesn't really. No. Like a carrot could be the emoji for peanuts.

Yeah. It's purple. It's big on one end. Yeah, it's too big in general. It's way too big. It's way too big. Yeah, like a peanut should be the emoji. Yeah, yeah, now we're fucking talking. But look, carrot, there's a lot of great,

fun things with carrots. Is it a top tier veggie? To me, I'll tell you my potato is up there. We didn't review potatoes. We didn't cover potato this month, no. Potato for me. Well, you guys talk about potatoes probably every other episode.

We do, we talked about them. We also did talk about sweet potatoes, which gave us a little bit of an avenue to discuss potatoes. Which I wonder what I gave sweet potatoes. I think you went four. I think I went four forks with it. Potato to me is five forker. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm sweet potatoes. I think you went four. I think I went four forks with it. Potato to me is five forker.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'm just saying. I'm just saying like vegetables that I really love. Carrot though is, I think is maybe in the top tier. I know we're gonna get to our rating in a second here, but to me it's pretty high. I'm not sure. I mean, obviously I'll land on my score in a second,

but I'm not sure where I land on it ultimately. I do wanna bring up one more thing before we get into our solid fork scores, because, yeah. Are carrots not that versatile? Like, is, like, uh... Well, I think that's part of it for me, is it's just like, they are and they aren't. Like, you see them in a bunch of different dishes.

Like, you'll see them just, like, oh, there's some carrot in this curry, you know? Yeah, I'm like, you're saying are carrots not versatile? I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind? Like, they're making their way Yeah, I'm like, you're saying our carrots not versatile. I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind? They're making their way into like every dish, every type of cuisine. But not like, Coneblower.

Across the globe. Yes. But they just exist in there as carrot. You're like, there's carrot in there. I feel like it doesn't mix in as well. You're talking about like potatoes can be fries. They can be like other things. Corn can be a million things.

And it can be eaten on its own more easily, which I think is a big part of it. You can't eat a potato raw. You can't, that's true. You can't make a pizza crust out of carrots. You might eat, I mean, in LA I bet you can. I'm sure somebody has made a carrot pizza crust. Yeah, it sounds like it sucks.

Yeah, you'll be in the comments saying, let's go pizza crust. Wags, what were you gonna say? I'm sorry to cut you off. Amelia brought this up in the kitchen. This was, I think, her first thought. She was like, are you gonna talk about Carrot Top? And I didn't have Carrot Top in my notes,

but Carrot Top, how about that? I think it's important to talk about Carrot Top. He looks really good now. He looks pretty jacked. He is pretty jacked. He was on Hacks recently looking very good. Oh wow. He looks pretty jacked. He is pretty jacked. He's fucking jacked. He was on Hacks recently, looking very good. Yeah, he looks really good. His face, his body, it all looks really hot.

He does his Vegas show, it's still going. Yeah, I saw him in Vegas because I was working on a show that we were at the backstage thing, and we got to go backstage with Carrot Top. Wow. And so I got to see him up close and I will say his act, I did kind of write him off because I know him more as like somebody

that you make fun of more than I know his act. And I found him to be entertaining and charming. Yeah. So I think he gets a bad rap. Does he still have crazy hair? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the hair is the least crazy part of him these days. He's like really muscular.

He's huge. There's something about old. He looks like one big vein. Yeah. I'm going to Vegas on Friday. Maybe I'll see Carrot Top. My brother saw my thing, I'm pretty sure. He told me about it.

He should go, it's fun. So I was in Vegas a couple of years ago, maybe, boy, this is more than a couple of years ago, this must have been pre-pandemic, but I was with, it was in Vegas a couple years ago. Maybe that boy is more than a couple years ago. This was a pre pandemic, but I was with I was for there for NBA summer league. And it was we were riding a cab from the hotel over to the arena where we're going to watch basketball. And we're in the cab. It was like me, Sean Clements, payment bands. And then Sean's friend whose name I forget,

but it was lovely. So it was like the four of us in one cab and we're driving over there and someone points, there's like a Carrot Top billboard. Someone points to us like, he's like, hey, you guys wanna see Carrot Top later? Just kind of half joking. We're like, yeah, let's go see him or whatever.

Yeah, whatever. And the cab driver goes, that guy's funny as shit, man. They're like, oh yeah. It's like, yeah, I've seen the show a bunch of times it's funny as shit that guy you laugh your fucking dick off And then he goes he's just so fucking weird When they come up with this stuff is fucking weird Carrot is like an alt I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like assume there's a shred of irony involved. It's like, yeah, of course everyone likes Carrot Top.

It's funny as shit. Yeah, exactly. It's a better life. It's a better life. Yeah. All right, we should get to our final thoughts on carrots. So for the Garden of Eden, we are rating things out of zero to five salad forks. So five, obviously the highest,

and then collectively we'll decide on giving it a green thumbs up or down. Marissa, to my right, veteran of the podcast, we'll begin with you. Your thoughts, your salad fork score for carrots. Well, something you said really resonated with me. Carrots, they might not be the flashiest vegetable. They might not be making a big splash anywhere.

Your mouth might not be watering when you see carrots on a menu. But they are important. I agree. And they have permeated every part of culture, as we mentioned, Bugs Bunny, Carrot Top. He's not called Tater Top, though that would be a really good name. Tater Top is a really funny alt version of Carrot Top. Tater Top?

That'd be you, that'd be your bit. I think you are Tater Top. I might be Tater Top. You have to like shave your head so it looks like a potato. Oh yeah. I mean, my head would definitely look like a potato. If I shaved my head and beard,

I would look like a, very much like a potato. That's a really good idea. You guys laugh and then I would go to definitely look like a potato. If I shaved my head and beard, I would look like a very much like a potato. That's a really good idea. You guys laugh and then I would go to Vegas and be a billionaire. That guy's fucking funny. You're lying to fucking take off. We swapped his eyes for angry eyes. So it's amazing. Yeah, I think carrots are important.

I'm thinking about how they're just a part of pop culture. They're a part of like childhood, childhood lore. Like if you eat a lot of carrots, you can see in the dark. That is, we did not get into that. I was gonna cover this and I'll get through. That was huge. That was huge. If you eat a lot of carrots, they say you will turn orange.

That is true. So like two, like two pieces of like childhood lore are about carrots. Your skin would start turning orange-ish if you ate too much carrots. If you ate too much carrots. And this is like- That's a good thing? Well, it's just, it's important.

It's important. It's important. There have been times where I'm making dinner, maybe I don't know what I'm gonna make. If I look in the refrigerator and I don't see carrots, I'm fucked. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Because they're really important in a variety of dishes, as we're saying, around the globe. I mentioned meatloaf and sometimes I get a little piece of carrot and meatloaf. There's carrots and meatloaf, Mitch. That is fun. There's carrots in everything. And now I hope, I guarantee if you're listening to this podcast, you're eating carrots right now, even if you don't know it. You guarantee that? Look at your bowl.

You didn't think you were eating carrots? Look a little closer, buddy. There's a carrot in there. You think you're swiping your phone right now? You're swiping a carrot. That is right. I would bet my life on it. You think you're making love to your wife right now?

No. You have a carrot in your ass. Check your asshole, buddy. That's a carrot. Five salad forks. Five salad forks. Are you kidding me? Five salad forks.

Five salad forks. Wow. Wow. I love it. I think it's a great score. John Glover, your thoughts, your salad fork score for carrots. OK. I mean, that was so long and so much.

I feel. I remember, John, if you go below four salad forks, it gets out of the, we forgot the name. Elevated bed, it's elevated bed. Elevated bed, no it's not, that wasn't... Why is it an elevated bed? I don't remember, but that's what we landed on. Like the Garden of Eden, it was like some sort of thing of like...

No, but Garden of Eden is the month. I know, but it was like Adam and Eve club or something, it was, there was something else we did. You're in the snake's mouth or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you give it green thumbs, I will do it at that. That's all of us, we'll do that. Wait, so I can't go under four?

You absolutely can. You can, I'm just saying it will go out of... Mitch is just giving you a warning. I think Mitch wants to go north of four. If you go under four, the Doughboyz fans are gonna like dox you and like... I'm gonna go under four and I'll tell you how I get there. LAUGHS So for all the reasons you said said sure, Bugs Bunny had it,

but who's watching Bugs Bunny anymore, right? Wow. That's fucked up. I could eat a shit ton of carrots and turn yellow. I don't want to. I've never left my house thinking, I'm gonna pick up some carrots today. If I get carrots, it's cause I'm at the store

and I see them and I'm like, I guess I'll get carrots. Most of them will go bad. I will go to the store for other vegetables. I'll get celery, I'll get potatoes, I'll get corn. I'll get a lot of other things. I rarely go there for carrots. I find them very middle of the row. I think they're a staple.

I think they're important. I think people that don't have high incomes can enjoy them. People that are rich could enjoy them. One thing that I really did love that we didn't talk about here, there used to be a Thai restaurant in Hollywood. And when you would get Pad Thai, they would make these long curl carrots that were like,

I don't even understand what kind of carrot they use because it was so long. I still think about how cool those are, but that's not enough for me to be above a four. So I'm giving carrots right in the middle a 2.5. Wow. 2.5 solid damage. Wow.

Score. Oh my God. Sorry. What would you give? I know you're an onion skeptic. What would you give onions? We reviewed onions earlier. We were pretty enthusiastic. I see God. What would you give, I know you're an onion skeptic, what would you give onions? We reviewed onions earlier, we were pretty enthusiastic. I see, I love green onions.

Oh, you love green onions. If those are in there. But just onions for some reason, it's a personal thing. Like the oil gets stuck in like my esophagus and like I just feel like I taste onions much longer than I would want to. You don't wanna want a burger or a sandwich. But caramelized onions, I could eat like a bowl full.

So it's raw onions, specifically. All day, like French onion soup. We like that, though. We're saying, we like, I want the onion on the. I rub a cut onion all over my neck, and I drive my husband wild. You guys all like smelling like onions all day? Onions, I would give more than carrots.

Oh, interesting. I would give onions 3.5. But that's only the particular preparation of, like, like grilled onions from In-N-Out Burger. Yeah, interesting. Cut very tiny and like grilled for days. Yeah. All right, Spoon Man, what do you think? As a boy, I had bad vision.

I had very bad vision. I've told this before on the broadcast. They thought that I was dumb. They thought that I had learning. No. You? They thought that I couldn't read wise. Right, yes, yeah.

You just did. I know. You did a great job. But I couldn't, because I was extremely nearsighted, I believe. I was holding a book really close to my face to read, and then on the board, I couldn't see anything. So I had extreme vision problems.

I wore an eye patch for a year. You had a lazy eye. That's one of the things you got. My lazy eye and extreme nearsighted. It was like, I almost went blind in one eye. And so I always heard about eating carrots. They always were telling me to eat carrots to better my eyesight.

And I got that a lot. That I should be eating more carrots, eat carrots. I never liked them as a boy. I did not like carrots as a kid. I thought carrots were gross, not a fun vegetable. I liked salad. I liked lettuce leaves with dressing on it. That was my favorite veggie.

And I loved corn and potatoes and stuff like that. As I've grown older, Wags, I've really, he got distracted by Jemmy. No, I'm listening, I'm listening. As I've grown older, I've come to really enjoy carrots and I was thinking sweet potato, I gave four forks to, four salad forks to. I like carrots just as much as sweet potato.

Is that crazy? Yeah. Well, no, you can do more with the carrots. Sweet potatoes are so good. Sweet potatoes are good. I love a sweet potato. Sweet potatoes are good. I get it. I gave it four forks, four salad forks, but I can't go- You wanted to go lower though.

I wanted to go lower, but I didn't. And with carrots, I'm not going below four forks, four salad forks either. Like I said, when you're eating carrot, I maybe misspoke when I said that they're not versatile because they can go in everything. But I'm just saying it's like usually just carrots in the thing.

It's like you can tell the carrots are there. Maybe it doesn't blend in as well as other things, but I like it. It adds texture. It's one of the great texture vegetables. It gives you a crisp bite. I'm going for forks. Wow, forks, wow.

And look, on that crudite plate, what's the number one? I know you guys said celery. Carrots, I think. I think carrot is the most delicious thing on the crudite plate. Or cucumber. Those are really good. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I don't think carrot is maybe even my top three.

I feel like I'd rather have a celery. Radishes. I'd rather have a cucumber. Radishes, I was gonna say. This is real much anything. Celery would be like, someone else can have them. Or carrots, you mean? Yeah, sorry, carrots. I'm not-

Cucumber and celery over carrots? Yes, are you kidding me? They're more mild, they're like perfect delivery system. But they're both wet, they both dilute the creaminess of the ranch. They enhance it. You get the strong bite with the carrot when you get the ranch on.

You're also like, you don't have to be married to having ranch as your only dipping sauce. What if you have some hummus there? Oh, great, and better thing to put a carrot in. Honestly, I do think carrots are better for hummus. Okay, all right. Well, then maybe I'm alone there, but I will dip a cucumber in some hummus. Let's be real. Cucumbers suck.

Cucumbers are great. I give cucumbers a higher score. Where are you going to get a pickle? I love pickles. I love that preparation. Cucumbers are great. I get cucumbers a higher grade. Where are you going to get a pickle? I love pickles. I love that preparation. Cucumbers are great. I love cucumbers. I love cucumbers as pickles. Cucumbers are good. I love raisins as grapes.

I love raisins as grapes too. And you know what? I don't mind even raisins. I'm fine with raisins. Okay. Is it safe for dogs to eat, unlike bunnies, dogs can eat carrots? It is. Okay, hold on. I'm gonna see this. You know what, I think.

She doesn't usually like carrots. I've tried many times, but she's always super interested, but you can totally see if she'll eat it. Let's see, cause I will just say this. My fork score is contingent on whether or not Jemmy eats a little piece of carrot. I'm just trying to say something really good. You two professors need to be bullied.

You professors are fucking. Jemmy, you wanna eat any carrot? What the hell? You wanna eat any carrot? You wanna eat any carrot? She doesn't want your carrot. I can't get a small enough piece for her to have a little bite. While he's doing this, while you were telling that story,

I liked that you were like, I didn't really have a look when I was young, but now I'm picturing you with like an eye patch. Like, cool kid, like, what's up? It was a skin-toned eye patch that was over. That's so bad. It was so bad. And then you could put stickers on it.

Oh, god. Why make it skin-toned so people just think you have no eye? Scratch and smear stickers so people are up in your eye. Look, it was 1988, 89. It was a long time ago. Here you go, Jimmy. You want a little piece? That's like when you worked at the place.

What place was that you worked with your ears pierced? All American Yogurt. I worked with your ears pierced? All American yogurt. I had both my ears pierced, and he made me cover him every shift with Band-Aids. Oh my God. That's wild. Everyone just saw that I had like cut my ears. Like what happened to your ears?

That's insane. That's so much grosser. That's so dumb. That's so much grosser. A Band-Aid dangling from someone's ear? That's horrible. While they're making your ears, your front of your yogurt? Yeah, I was so afraid it was gonna fall in my fucking yogurt.

Yeah, that seems so much more less hygienic. What was it like working back in the yogurt mines? Like, was this a place where you'd put together the whole, you put together the whole, like, There's just one professor that needs to be bullied. I love this guy. Are you kidding me? I've never been more turned on.

You put together, this was the kind of thing where someone would order and they'd say, like, I want some gummy bears, I want some sprinkles or whatever you'd assemble it for them. My first three jobs were in soft serve. Wow. So I did the thing where you have to make the cone and like dip it in this stuff really fast.

Malt, yeah, the all American yogurt was like the, you put the toppings on. Worst thing about that one was making waffle cones. I don't know if you've ever made a waffle cone. No, I haven't. So you pour a waffle and then you have this plastic cone and then you have to pick the scalding hot waffle and wrap it really quick.

That's what I remember the worst. Actually, what was the worst at that job? No offense to my boss, he was in a wheelchair, but part of our job was to help him pull up his pants. So he would be like, I'm gonna lift myself in the wheelchair and he would lift him and we had to hook our finger in his belt hoop or whatever and pull up as he sat down.

Now listen, I'm all about helping, but like as a high school kid, I was like, what, what? And I had band-aids on my ears. Like, where am I right now? This is what like my life is gonna be. That feels really familiar to do. That's, yeah. Jemmy does not seem interested in the carrots.

I'll give her one more. Wow. Two forks. Yeah, I mean, look, I was gonna maybe bump it up to four, but I was thinking three forks the whole way, and I think that's where I'm gonna land. I do like carrots, but I'm just, like, not enthused about them. And that's not an exciting vegetable for me. And I feel like it's, like, yes, it's versatile.

Yes, it works in a lot of different contexts, but I don't know. I just, to me, this, I hate to it's like, yes, it's versatile. Yes, it works in a lot of different contexts, but I don't know. I just, to me, I hate to be negative here, but I'm just less excited about these things. So I will give them three salad forks, but I will give them a green thumbs up. They get a green thumbs up from me as well. You're giving, I mean, I wonder why.

Are you gonna give a green thumbs up, John, or a brown thumbs down? I'll give it a green thumbs up. I mean, I think they're important. There's not a single brown thumbs down given, I think, in the entire time we've been here. No, we like all these vegetables. They all have their place.

And like Marissa said, if you're listening to this right now and you look at your phone, it's a carrot. Like we said before, everyone is eating carrots, Wags. And you were just listening to someone talk right now, you thought it was Mitch? It was a carrot. Mike in the video, can you make Mitch turn into a carrot? Turn me into a carrot, please.

Just turn him into a big carrot just for a little. I'm sure there's like a Snapchat filter. That's like a big talk into a carrot. Yeah, you can turn, yeah. Mike can turn me into a carrot. We've all been carrots this whole time. And he turned us all into carrots just for this. And I challenge you, listener, look in the mirror.

You are also a carrot. And then Mike, if you can make it so that when the listener looks in the mirror. You are also a carrot. And then Mike, if you can make it so that when the listener looks in the mirror, they're a carrot. That seems more complicated. Okay, well, you can figure it out. You thought you were jacking off? I don't know, man, was I not?

He's a carrot. You already did the sex one, I de-heightened. It was fine. No, I liked it. No, it was good, perfect. That was our review of carrots as we close up the Garden of Eden. It's time for a segment.

I got a beverage, we're gonna decide if you should pour it down your throat. It is drink or stank. Now, on your Gatorade episode, John Glover, you said you had not had Gatorade in 20 years. Yeah. Is that correct? It's not something I buy or drink. Yeah, it was probably 15, 20 years ago.

I think it was something I got when I was really sick and someone was like, you should keep drinking. Well. Wow. Is this carrot Gatorade? I got the most carrot adjacent really sick and someone was like, you should keep drinking. Oh no. Well. Wow. Is this carrot Gatorade? I got the most carrot adjacent Gatorade flavor orange in three different varietals. The matching cups have the same thing in it.

Okay. That's right. So Emma, do you know which is which? Because we have the full sugar, we have the zero and then we have the Gator Lite. Yes. Yeah. So the Gator Lite is in this top cup.

Wow. This is the zero sugar on the side and the regularator Lite is in this top cup. This is the zero sugar on the side and the regular ones. Regular in the middle. Wow. Okay. It looks like there's just three of each, so y'all can feel free to take a sip if you like, but just, you know, we can see if Gatorade, if it feels like a thing you would get again or if you're fine just not having it for another 20 years.

No, I mean. We're here. Why not? I'm sorry, I put the Gator Lite. I'm not going to push that on you? No, I just, my microphone just popped off also. That microphone was a carrot. And Mike, again, just make that a carrot for just. This glass in my hand, carrot. OK, so first time.

Yeah, Mike, just throw in a bunch of carrots, just wherever. This is the light. Oh, god, it's like. This is light. Emma, is this one? I'm sorry, this first one's the light. The Gator Lite?

That was the light, yes. OK, so this is like their Pedia Lite companion. It tastes very much like the regular Gatorade. It's really salty. Yeah, it's salty and sweet at the same time, and it's almost like it would be like a medicine. They're like, no, we made the medicine taste good. Yeah, it's Gatorade flavored medicine,

or like salad dressing. So that one's a stank, it seems like. This is a hard drink. I like it. You like it. I give it a drink. I give it a light drink. It's not the best.

I do the strawberry kiwi or the strawberry whatever Gator Lite, and that's my favorite. That is my favorite. That's my favorite one. Yeah. I think I'm spoiled with orange drinks because I get orange like Sunkist or like one of those sodas and I love it. Yeah. So this is like, it's like I left that out for the day.

And that's what this kind of tastes like. Okay, so this is Gatorade Zero then. Gatorade Zero is the next one, yes. So what is the sugar difference from the one we just had in the Gatorade Zero? So the Gator Lite has a lot of sugar. The Gatorade Zero is zero sugar. Oh, interesting.

And so it's like 10 calories, I believe. And then the other one's the Gatorade Heavy, which I think is the most sugar. Okay, wow. So this is just like, doesn't have artificial sweetener in it, it's just less sugar. I think it has artificial sweetener in it. That's most of it's sweetness

is coming from artificial sweetener. Yeah, the Gator Lite, it's L-Y-T-E Lite, like Pedialite. So it's more meant to be like a rehydrator as opposed to something that's healthier. Cause there's also a Gator Lite Zero. The, yeah, the Gator Lite tastes like prescribed. Yeah.

It'd be like, it's like something you would have to drink like before, like a colonoscopy or something. That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm having one in a week. Wow. Are you really? I am. That's who we all go.

I thought that they had changed it. So you only had to drink like that much liquid. And I went to pick up the thing the other day and and she like put this empty jug in front of me. Oh, man. Wait, what? You did get the jug. I didn't get the jug. I did get the jug.

What they told me to do was I took. Get a carrot? I told them, yeah, just eat one carrot. Uh, Dulcalax on the Sunday, and then Dulcalax on the Monday, and then Dulcallax on the Tuesday. And then Tuesday I also drank a full bottle of Miralax over the course of like 24 hours. It was pretty wild.

Oh wow. Wow, I don't know. I just got a big empty jug with powder in it. And like you're gonna fill this all the way up and slowly drink it through the day I think. Oh wow. That seems more fun though than just taking some hop over the counter.

None of it's fun. None of it's fun. But I mean, at least I'm like, oh, I got a project. You're like, do you have to get a colonoscopy to get this juice? I mean, you know what happens after you drink it, right? It's not fun. I'm aware. OK, so which one are we on now?

Or did everyone have everything? I tried them all. To me, they all kind of taste the same. Like, if I had a blindfold on, I mean, not that I need it, but if you hadn't told me, I would not be able to tell a difference. Yeah. I can tell a difference

because I have an aversion to artificial sweetener. Like, to me, I used to drink a lot of Diet Coke. Like I would wake up in the middle of the night and have a Diet Coke. And so I really liked like that type of artificial sweetener. But then when I stopped having it for a while, I, for some reason, it it lights up a part of my brain

that I just like is not yummy at all to me. Yeah, wow. But I like full sugar things. Like I prefer the taste. I saw you with Coke heavy, I love it. Yeah, I drink. Was that a carrot? Yeah.

Mike, you got a lot of work to do. Coke heavy, I've never heard that. That's fine, yeah. Yeah, I drink regular Cokes almost every day. Probably not great, but you know, what are you gonna do? Is it as bad as a diet Coke? I don't know. That's your sugar intake?

I get the little ones, I get the minis. Oh, that's not, that's the thing. 90 Cal's, that's all you're doing. So would you go, it sounds like a drinker's stank, John's going stank on all three of them. What would your verdict be? The regular gay rate I would call a drink or stank. John's going stank on all three of them. What would your verdict be? The regular gay rate I would call a drink. The rest of them are stank.

Wow. Unless like I was like in the hospital and like needing an IV and like, yeah, it was an emergency. Yeah. I don't know, you didn't try them Wags, but I think that I would go drank for all of them at various degrees. I think that the full sugar gayade is the best version of it.

Are those ones yours? Wait, which I'll share with you in a second. But yeah, I think the, I was just curious because I heard this factoid, I heard that you had to have it. And I was wondering if it was gonna be a revelation for you, but it sounds like it was just as bad as you remembered. Yeah, that's what I expected, I think.

Yeah. I'm very loyal to things. I drink Diet Coke almost exclusively as my soda. So yeah, it's just not for me. If you were to get a Gatorade, you wouldn't get this orange because I get red if I'm getting Gatorade. I feel like I would get red probably. I do Fear Strawberry now.

That was pretty good. That's the white one. I like that one. I also like the blue. No, Fear Strawberry is pink. No, the fear strawberry is pink. You're thinking of the frost. It's okay. You're thinking of cherry, that's okay. He's so upset, it's okay.

I feel really dumb. I was just looking at it yesterday, I was like, oh, that's for strawberry. Glacier freeze I like a lot. You were looking at a carrot. I like glacier freeze. Fruit punch was my favorite for a very long time, and then I got off of it.

It's too, I don't know, I don't like. Fruit punch was my favorite for a very long time and then I got off of it. It's too, too, too, I don't know. Yeah. I don't like it as much anymore. Too childy. A little bit. I will say that I was kind of,

like I was, I settled on the orange because I was like, that's carrot adjacent, but I kind of wanted to get some more like interesting flavors, like they have like a lime cucumber now or something. I was just having trouble tracking down some of the more interesting Gatorade flavors. I think you did great. Okay, well, because I ended up. You did good.

I went to the 7-Eleven and I ended up at the local Smart and Final, which is a grocery chain in the Western US. And then they have a little on-brand style fun fact. Oh, great. Which maybe you know. Do you know the origin of the name Smart and Final? I don't.

I know. It was founded in 1914, this sounds insane, by J.S. Smart and Final. I don't. It was founded in 1914. This sounds insane. By J.S. Smart and H.D. Final. No way. Those are their names. That's wild. It's true. Two guys named Smart and Final.

That is wild. That's insane. Isn't that so wild? Do people know that you are Nick Doe and he's Mitch Boyce? I think. Well, it's interesting that you bring that up because people do know me as Nick Doe

But actually my full legal name is Nicholas Frank Weiger And sometimes I go by Frank which means it's time for another edition in this week in hot dog news and let me be Frank Hot dog, simmer in the city, great on my grill, getting greasy and gritty. Toast thorn, donut look pretty, sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty. Pork and beef, sausages and longbread, rolling on a roller grill, mustard and relish. One bite, it's a different world Swap dog bites with a girl. Munch on munch on and chomp all night. Despite the farts, it'll be all right, that taste. When the casing has snapped, later that day,

you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city like you're sucking on a titty. You ain't nothing but a hot dog, frying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog, frying all the time. You ain't never been a burger and you ain't no lunch of mine. Well they said you a sandwich, well that was just a lie. They said you a sandwich, well that was just a lie They said you were sandwich Well that was just a lie

You're just a fun around a wiener So you sure don't qualify We don't need no good nutrition. We don't need no portion control. No healthy dishes in the kitchen. Eater, leave them dogs alone. Hey! Eater, Leave them dogs alone! All in all, it's just another Frank on the grill. All in all, you're just another Frank on the grill

We know hot dogs are bad Worst than bad, they're flavorless It's like sausages everywhere are past their expiration date So we don't go out to eat anymore We sit in our homes and slowly the takeout portions we order are getting smaller and all we say is please at least leave us alone in our kitchen let me have my hot dog toaster and my uber eats and my seven brands of mustard I fuck just leave me alone sorry and my breads of mustard I keep in the fridge and I won't eat anything. Just leave us alone. Well I'm not gonna leave you alone. I

want you to get fat. I don't want you to go on a hunger strike. I don't want you to diet. I don't want you to write to Colonel Sanders because I wouldn't know what to tell you right. I don't know what to do about the high cholesterol and the shrink flation and the Russian dressing and the discarded ketchup packets in the street All I know is that first you got to get fat you got to say I'm a doughboys fan hot dog Damn it. My life has little to no value. So I want you to get up now I want all of you to stand up out of your chairs or at least sit up a little bit for once you fat fucks I want you to get up right now and go to the window.

Open it and stick your head out and yell, I'm fat as hell and I'm not gonna Frank this anymore. I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell, I'm as fat as hell and I'm not gonna Frank this anymore. Wow. Very stirring, Mitch. Well done. So this is Let me be frank I'm

fucked up you did great I'm a fix that for me so disorienting to watch that without hearing the backing oh I didn't think about that I guess we could have had headphones for everybody They were there, but I didn't have them over here. It was a wild experience. Maybe better, honestly. We've done, I'm fat as hell, but we worked it into this now. Why, what were you did? That's right, yeah.

Wig's very nice to him. He said, did you write the network thing this morning? I said, no, I forgot. And then he said, I got it, and he sent it to me. I figured it out. All right, let's, Mitch, so we're going to go ahead and- Have you guys seen Network? Oh yeah. Yeah, great right, let's Mitch. So we're going to go ahead and- Have you guys seen Network? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, great movie. Great movie. All-timer. I haven't seen it in a long time, but I really enjoy it. What year is that? 1976, I want to say. That's a great guess. I don't think I have seen it.

It's great. Watch it. 1976, yeah. Oh, nice. That's a good year too. One year after Jaws, huh? Yeah. That was a great year for movies.

Sydney Lumet. One year before Star Wars. Kramer versus Kramer, what year was that? Was that 76? I'll look up the 1976 box office. While we're doing that, Mitch, you want to Google a hot dog, and we're looking for hot dog news. And I thought we'd do this since we have on-brand here, if we could look for a brand of hot

dog. So I'm going to pitch, you know, you could do Oscar Mayer, you could do Hoffie. Ballpark. What's that? Ballpark. Ballpark's a great one. So maybe we could just look for some brand news. Wait, so do you not want me to look for hot dog news? Well, you can look for hot dog news,

but I was just going to maybe add, like, you can just add a brand name just to see if anything else comes up. I mean, the first news thing of hot dogs is very funny. I just want to know. OK, great. Is it the eating contest thing? It is not, though that's big news that we,

I'm sure is on here. But the first news item from two days ago is watch Anderson Cooper try mustard on a hot dog but the first news item from two days ago is watch Anderson Cooper try mustard on a hot dog for the first time. Jesus Christ. Fucking, just a fucking alien. We were living in the worst times ever. Yeah.

That's like when Teresa Hines-Carrie, John Cary's wife, was at a Wendy's, and she looked at chili on the menu and said, what's that? What's chili? So one of the big ones, this is from Chicago Sun Times. There was a Joey Chestnut set for a chow down show down with rival hot dog eater. And we're talking about Kobayashi.

Yes. Which a lot of the news here, which we wanted to talk about, Joey Chestnut breaking off from the Nathan's hot dog eating contest and, and, uh, on the July 4th, uh, weekend or is it on July, actually on July 4th? It is. Yeah. So this will, again, this will, we've established we're recording on June 17th. So this will be a little bit dated by the time this episode is out.

But yes, he, him and Kobayashi are having like a little side match that's disconnected from the official Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Wow. They can't get enough. I mean, I am excited. I will tune into this. It's going to be Labor Day. People were very upset that it's not going to be on 4th of July.

It's going to be a Labor Day weekend. But I'd say Labor Day weekend is probably the other Big grill day, right? Feels right right on theme wasn't it was there something about someone? I thought I saw a headline as someone was no longer allowed to represent them because they rep like So did a vegan brand. Oh There was something else going on there is Joey chestnut. Yes This was the impossible brand the imposter like he I think is he didn't endorse in

Impossible hot dog specifically actually I don't remember Entirely I don't think it's hot dog specifically But Nathan said he can't compete in their hot dog competition anymore because he took a sponsor from a rival brand Basically is what happened. Well, not that it was a vegan brand just that it was another brand It feels like Nathan's is fucking up in some way They are, 100% It also feels weird for him to be like a hot dog eating comp- like champion for Nathan's and then like take Sponsorship from another meat brand. It feels like a weird choice on both sides, but I don't know I'm not shit about hot dog eating

Can I just say I cannot stand like food eating contests like I can't know. I'm interested about hot dog eating. Can I just say I cannot stand food eating contests. Like, I can't watch them. I just find the whole thing very interesting. Will you get over to the professor couch? What, you love them? You love to watch a guy shove 40 hot dogs in his mouth in a minute? Like, wet hot dogs dunked in water.

Like, they dunk them in water and just deep throat them. I'm amazed by human excellence. So I do kind of like it from that standpoint of just like, oh, you're this good at this thing. Like I like seeing the best at anything. Get over here on this couch. Lobby professor. Slimer, we like Slimer eating all the hot dogs.

I do like Slimer eating all the hot dogs, it's a lot. To me it goes into that, like David Blaine. Like I like the David Blaine traits when he's like in the ice or something like that. Like something like that is like pushing the limits of the human body, but I don't like David Blaine when he's like burping up frogs. That's disgusting.

Yeah, to me, this is closer, the hot dog eating condos is closer to David Blaine burping up frogs than it is in the water. I agree. Something that happens with Blaine a lot, he burps up frogs. Yes, he does. He'll like pull, you'll be at dinner

and he'll just pull a goldfish out. A third of the show is burping up frogs, I'm telling you. He'll like pull, you'll be at dinner and he'll just pull a goldfish out. A third of the show is burping up frogs. I'm telling you. But then he does other really cool things. Yeah. The highest grossing films of 1976, I have this up here. Wow. Number one, Sylvester Stallone movie, come on.

Rambo. It's not Ramby. It's Rambo, it's Rocky. I said Ramby. Oh, sorry. It's, Ramby is the, Ramby is the rhino from Donkey Kong Country. You don't have to imagine it exists. Wow. Number two, a Barbra Streisand movie.

Nuts? Not nuts. This is a- Funny girl. It's musical adjacent's been remade a bunch of times. Oh, the Star is Born? Star is Born, that's right. Number three, another movie that's been remade

a bunch of times. But these days you might see this famous character wielding the Beast Glove. Beast being an acronym. Beast Glove? He sometimes battles other monsters. It's a Big Eight movie. It's a King Kong movie.

It's a King Kong with Jessica Lange one. Number four, this is a movie I've forgotten about, but I think I have seen this at a certain point. This is a Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor movie. Oh. Comedy thriller. Oh, is this the one where, is it Cino? Is it the one where they-

No, it's not that one. It's not Hear No Evil, See No Evil. I know, it's something. I'm better in the 90s, I think. It's Silver Streak is the movie. Oh, Silver Streak. Number five, a political thriller. One of the defining ones of the genre.

Oh. A big boy, a big boy one. Is it the Watergate movie? Yes, all the presidents manage the title. The rest of the top 10, the Omen, the original, Bad News Bears, the original, the Enforcer. In search of Noah's Ark and Midway. The bottom half of those I didn't know.

Would never have gotten Midway. In search of Noah's Ark, I only know of because of the blank check podcast. And it was one of those ones that was like a, it was like a fake Christian documentary where they're like, we found Noah's Ark. Wow. Did I do an okay job with the network speech?

I thought you did great. That was great. I gotta apologize to... Ned Beatty? Oh, not Ned Beatty. It was Peter Finch. Who was the actor? Peter Finch.

Are you texting him right now to apologize? Yeah. I think he passed away. Yeah, he's not answering. He's a carrot. Oh, carrot. Oh, no. I guess it's like when someone becomes a vegetable.

If they, if you're like in a coma, right? If like the nurse is in the hospital and they're like, I think you should consider pulling the plug, your grandmother is a carrot. She's a carrot. Tell me she's not a carrot, doctor. What is happening out there? There's a child at the door.

There's small children trying to get into the street. Did that happen before, too? There's kids just outside. There's baby carrots. I think it's Amir Cohen's kids. Okay. Should we just open the curtain, show them Weiger, and have them run off?

No, we can't afford that lawsuit. Okay, as brand enthusiasts, do you ever mess with the veggie dogs? Do you ever like the LifeHouse or whatever the brand was? Yes, and I struggle with those. Yeah, haven't found a good one Yeah, haven't found a good one. I haven't found a good one. And I, well actually the best one that I've had

is the hot dog on a stick does a veggie dog. Have you had that one? I've had hot dog, oh boy, did I get the veggie dog last time. They do a veggie dog, and I don't know what brand they use, but that is the best one I've had. The ones that are like the grocery store ones, they get a little pasty, and then on the grill, they kind of like, the skin like kind of bubbles.

Like bubbles and peels. I don't like that at all. It's very unappealing. It's unappealing. Hot dog on a stick is the best version of a veggie dog. Unless they've just been giving me real hot dogs and I'm just like, oh, a veggie dog. Just didn't double check.

But those are the best ones. Yeah, I struggle to find a good vegetarian hot dog. John, do you have any fandom for any particular dog? For hot dogs? Yeah, for a brand. You know, I have found myself in the last year coming back to Oscar Mayer all beef wieners. Yeah.

Yeah. Those are fun. Yeah, I mean, I've tried them all. Did you say no or? No, I think that's, I mean, Oscar Mayer, I think makes a great dog. They do. I used to like feel like I had to get like Hebrew national.

I went through a ballpark phase. I've hit all the dogs that, you know, and Hoffy is new to me and those are quite good. I do like a Hoffy, yeah. I never knew about him. I kind of thought they were like trash dogs. Well, so Pinks I think has Hoffy and then Pinks is kind of not like the best.

Like, I don't know if you're Pinks enthusiast. Do we go to Pinks with you? I've had a couple. No, not with me. We're going to Pinks with her. Anytime, I'll be there, their night. They have like celebrity, like the Betty White dog. the best. I don't know if you're a Pink's enthusiast. Do we go to Pink's with you? I've had a couple. No, not with me. We're going to Pink's with her. Anytime. I'll be there. Day or night.

They have like celebrity, like the Betty White dog. They do, yes. Yeah. Here, I actually did search for Hebrew National on my preferred search engine, Microsoft Bing, to see if there was any news. And I found some, the headline is, unfortunately, fucking paywalled. You're stuck in a pop-up. Nassau Provisions in Hotsville expands product lines and grows customer base.

So I don't really know exactly what's happening there, but whatever this company here seems to be on the grow. Okay, so here's a fun news item. Why is the Wiener's circle fighting with Portillo's? A confusing PETA stunt sparks beef. Ooh. And so for the social media spat started last week when Ingrid Newkirk, the founder and president of PETA,

announced that she would celebrate her 75th birthday by driving around Chicago in a pig transport truck covered with images of real pigs crammed into crates on their way to the slaughterhouse. Weiner Circle responded, pigs are too smart. This is on their Twitter. They aren't on our menu. If you want pigs, go to Portillo's hot dog.

They've got plenty of it on their menu. And start a little beef watch between Weiner Circle and Portillo's. Wow. Look, that's an extreme way to, it's an extreme way to drive around for your 75th birthday to drive around. I mean, go to Cheesecake Factory, come on. Like go to a movie.

Get a veggie option at Cheesecake Factory. Get a veggie option at Cheesecake Factory and just enjoy your day with your friends. Yeah, yeah, it's a little, it's a lot. It's a lot, yeah. It's a lot. You know what, here's the thing, it's a little, it's a little, it's a lot. It's a lot, yeah. It's a lot. Mm-hmm. You know, here's the thing,

and this is one of those things that happens, is that first off, the hot dog news of the day is dominated by one story, which is Joey Chestnut's expulsion from the Nathan's Famous contest. And then the other thing that always happens is that we get a bunch of things about dogs and hot cars, which is never fun. When you search for hot dog news,

you read about some poor Labrador, yeah. Jemmy's putting her paws over her eyes right now. Mitch, do you have one more or should we close up and let me be frank? Here's how to throw a hot dog party. Joey Chestnut Band from Nathan's, this is the big one. Yeah, hot dog party, that's John's website. So it's 1994.

I was scared as hell. You know what I make, I feel like probably more than most people are hot dogs wrapped up in a crescent roll, those little cakes in a blanket. I probably do that once a month. Once a month, wow. Just for one, just for you? Yeah. I love that.

I'll make like a can of a crescent rolls and just roll those back and stuff. I'll make like eight and it makes two meals. What a hoot that is. That's great, that's fun. Look, so much of this is just, you know, so much about Joey Chestnut being banned from Nathan's and then going off, going against Kobayashi

and Labor Day, which will be on Netflix. What a great network Netflix is. We love it. We love it, they pay everyone very well. And then the other one is there's like dumb stuff, like what is that neon green topping on Chicago style hot dogs? I don't know how that is a news item right now,

but here is one that I thought was interesting. Wow. Can the seafood hot dog. Ew. That's right, Can the seafood hot dog, that's right, can the seafood hot dog succeed in the US? Interesting. And that was like big chunks of rubbery shrimp in it. I'll just, that sounds vile to me. Seafood hot dogs have failed to hook diners

in the United States, could that change? That is the question. What, is it fish or is it like clams? A few years ago on a summer night in Cambridge, Massachusetts, I had a hot dog that surprised me so much, I'm thinking about now, the sea dog from the wine bar, Dear Annie,

it was plump, but yes, but pallid, almost vampiric against its grilled bone. Oh, who wrote this, a seal? SealNews.net? The writer is a period seal. So I'm not sure. All right, I think that's a seal. Made with shrimp, scallops, or scallops,

my mom's gonna be pissed, and haddock, the sea dog existed at the intersection of a shrimp roll, fish cake, and a hot dog with the lively springiness of a good fish ball and clean, delicate flavor of seafood. See, look, I like seafood. I like a fish ball. That can all be fun. I love a lobster roll, which is on a hot dog bun.

Love a lobster roll. I love a fish sandwich. All this stuff is fun. I just kind of feel like with hot dogs in particular, I've tasted like chicken franks. I've tasted turkey franks. I've tasted a lot Franks, I've tasted turkey Franks, I've tasted a lot of different veggie Franks, especially when I wasn't eating meat.

They never the same. Like it's like either a beef Frank or a pork and beef Frank is just like the best version of it. I think turkey dog is the next best. It is, but it still tastes different. And if you're trying to as far removed, cause you know, a turkey burger is a decent simulacrum of a beef burger, but once you get, but you can you still tell it's different once you get as far away from

from animal proteins as you're dealing with seafood I feel like it's not gonna taste anything like the dog you like it's gonna be a whole different maybe it's good but I'm just skeptical why doesn't eat pig anymore I should stop eating pig but I will say I do like a hot dog that has pork product pork is delicious no shame against anyone who eats pork. It's not the individual choice that's the issue. It seems like all the ingredients in it could be good if you just squeeze them out of that tube

and put them on like a toasted bun. That seems better. I'd rather have like just like a shrimp toast or something. Right. All right. That was a let me be frank brand edition, just like a restaurant. We're really talking about curveball.

We did a full segment. I don't know how we're gonna top it after this. I'll tell you how we're gonna top it, we're gonna take a question from the feedback. I love the length of the show. Let's open the feedback, today's email is from Tess. It goes in waves where you're like,

oh man, we're really running out of stuff again. Then you kind of have another high. Yeah. It reminds me of like a sleepover when like 2 a.m. runs around and you're like, oh man, we're really running out of stuff again. Then you kind of have another high. Yeah. It reminds me of like a sleepover when like 2 a.m. runs around and you're like, oh, I feel like I could literally fall asleep at any minute. And then somebody like busts out like a bag of marshmallows and then now you're up till 5 a.m.

and you're probably having the best time of your life. That's how I feel when I'm with you guys. Oh, that's too kind. Same. So fun. Today's emails from Tess. Tess writes, loving the show from the land of hungry Jacks. Wow, Australia.

Hello, down under. I eat burgers in a very normal way, except when I eat a Big Mac, starting with the plain bun layer, I eat each individual layer separately. Insane. My question, is there a food that you eat weirdly, love and good health?

Well, we talked about the way you eat carrots, like a corn cob. Is there anything else like that, that's just as a very unusual way of eating? Okay, I could do several different things here. I could tell you something really gross from my childhood. I could tell you how I eat pizza. I do wanna hear that.

Okay, I'll do both. Okay, I'll start with pizza because it's less gross and then they'll stick with me and then they'll leave me when I tell them the other one. Pizza, I eat it, I usually peel off the triangle of cheese. I hate myself. I roll that up, I eat that like a little the triangle of cheese. I hate myself. I roll that up. I eat that like a little cigar kind of thing.

Yeah. And then I scrape. I only like the slime part underneath that of the crust. And then I scrape that slime off. It sounds like you don't like pizza at all. And then I leave the dry triangle. Wow. What do you scrape it off with your fingernails?

No, usually a fork. A fork. I'm not insane. I use cutlery. And then you leave the dry triangle and then you just not eat it? Yeah. Wow.

I'm starting to miss this. I'm saying dry triangle. So with the dry triangle, sometimes if the crust is really good, I'll eat it, but that tends to be, what'd you say? The term dry triangle is really triggering for Mitch. It hits a little too close to home. Took him a second to get that.

Me too. I'm sorry. Also soft serve earlier was also triggering for me. There was a lot of things that you said that have been triggering me. Soft serve. Soft serve, dry triangle. It's a rough episode for you.

They all are. All right, so this is just, whatever, I'll just put it out there. So when I was young, I don't know why I did this, when I ate Ritz crackers, I would eat like eight, ten Ritz crackers at once and just have this big ball of like crumbs in my mouth and I would like moisten it with saliva and then spit it out in my hand and then roll that up into a ball and then eat that ball like an apple.

Wow, that's insane. That is disgusting, first of all, but also I don't blame you. I think that's, we actually, didn't someone else also have something like that? I can't remember it specifically, but it sounds familiar. I feel like there's someone else who's- I think it was the Oreo, someone did something with the Oreo centers

where they made like a big ball of frosting. Yes, there was someone ball was balling up food. That sounds better. You made a matzo ball. I made, basically I made a matzo ball. You invented matzo balls. So yeah, there's a couple for you. A couple that come to mind,

one I've talked about on the podcast, which is that when I was a fellow boy, I would just have croutons and blue cheese dressing. And I would just take the least healthy part. It's not even that blue cheese dressing. And I would just take the least healthy part of it. It's not even that weird, but I mean, just like it's like the least healthy part of it. It's a salad with the salad. Exactly, I would take this and I would have that.

Spoonful of mayo is the weird one. Spoonful of mayo is very strange, I would do this as a kid, yeah. That's making you wits. Um. That's worse than everything I said this whole show. The other thing is, since you mentioned pizza, I don't know if I've talked about this on the podcast,

but I do kind of have a way of eating pizza, which is that I will eat, like I'll take a couple bites of the slice part, the triangle, the full triangle, and then they will flip it around and then it will eat the corners of the crust, kind of leaving a little arrowhead of crust that it could hold onto to eat the rest of it.

So I've gotten most of the work out of the way because I've eaten the crust, which is less fun. I do something similar too. I'll eat halfway down the pizza and then I'll start taking bites to the side so that when it's left, I have just a small piece of crust in pizza. One little nub of crust that I can have at the end.

Now, if I have a dip in sauce for the crust, then I might tear pieces off and dip those in something. It's a little bit more fun. So you guys are just as crazy. Like, you just do different things. For sure. Oh, I didn't think that that was that crazy. But it's like, it's not just like eating

a normal piece of food. I sometimes will keep the crust to last, but if you're eating the crust as you go, you're, then you're not stuck with just a big loaf of crust at the end. Do you ever do this with a hard shell taco? Do you eat from like the top down? Because I'll do that a lot.

Oh, no. Like I'll take a bite from the side. I eat from both sides. Like I'll bite from one side, and then I'll bite from the other side. Yeah, and then I'll bite from the top. Because it starts to push the stuff out, and then you got to go catch it.

Yeah, exactly. That's what I do the same thing, Emma. Have you seen those videos where people will eat tacos? And as they're eating it, they'll keep a soft taco, like tortilla, underneath them. And so as everything drips, then they have a second taco. Oh, that's so smart. That's disgusting. But it's kind of brilliant.

It's really great. It is, I guess it is smart. Marissa, you have any weird ways of eating something? You know, anything that is kind of like a crumbly snack, when it gets to the end of the bag, I will pour it in my mouth. And you get a really salty bite. That's reasonable. Or a really zesty bite.

So if there's any kind of like croutons, I love just eating dry croutons, anything like that. Yeah, that's so good. Do you like a seasoned crouton? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I- Do you ever make your own croutons? It's surprisingly easy to do.

It's surprisingly easy to do, but that proprietary brand of dust, like that blend, I feel like it's hard to replicate at home. I like just the flavored croutons at the grocery store. They're just so zesty. Like the boxed Mrs. Cubbisons or whatever. Did you have Caesar salad? Did you have my mom's Caesar salad

when you came to the house? I can't remember. I bet he would have remembered it. Yeah, yeah, he probably would. Does she make a good Caesar? She makes a good Caesar, and we'll do homemade, we'll do Italian bread, put it in the toast or you'll butter it. I like to butter both sides and then garlic salt on it.

Yummy. And then those are the croutons. Mitch, pass me your Gatorade. After our snowman contest, we're gonna have some Caesar salads at your house. The winner gets Caesar salad. I would love to have you, you're both welcome to come and Dave to come to my plus.

That would be wonderful. And Alistair. Yeah, the whole crew. I want one last sip of it. It is salty. You're right that it is salty. This is the salty one? It's a little medicinal in a weird way.

Did that count as a drank or a stank or was that just a fake out? I think it counts. So two segments. I don't know. I guess it is. I don't fucking know. They will figure it out in the Doughboy's Wiki. I don't eat things too weirdly is what I was't know. I guess it is. I don't fucking know. They will figure it out in the Doughboy's Wiki.

I don't eat things too weirdly is what I was going to say. Yeah. Besides that pizza, I don't do... I don't... What about candies? Like Reese's cups, I peel the top skin of chocolate off. I don't do... I don't ever do anything that crazy with that stuff like that. No. Yeah, I'm kind of a rule follower.

Same. You know what I do? I'm realizing now when I eat ice cream with a spoon, spoon's going upside down in my mouth. Yes, I do that too. I feel like that's how they do it in scoop shops. Like, I feel like that's the professional way to do it or something.

Is that how you're supposed to do it? Yeah. Like, I feel like I've seen videos of, like, people that have, like, those high-tech tongues that are testers, and that's how they do it. Yeah, it's kind of like when you have a, like, a nigiri, like a sushi, you're supposed to put the fish side down in your mouth.

Because you're hitting more tongue. fish side down in your mouth. Because you're hitting more tongue. I turn myself upside down. And I eat my corn like a carrot. Mm. Straight through the cob. Look at my core. I didn't finish it.

Oh, wow. You really did do a great. Look at this. Look at that there. Wow, that is, yeah, you're great. Impressive. Not really did do a great. Look at this. Look at that there. Wow, that is, yeah, you're great. Impressive. Not my first time. Wow.

Wow, Mitch is looking at that and thinking, that's impressive. What does that reveal? That's big. How did he get that in his mouth? I put some ranch on it to be like, calm. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.

Sorry about your dry triangle. It's so funny because on our show, we've kind of reversed roles. Like, I'm kind of dirty in real life, but on our pod, I'm not really at all. And she kind of has taken that role. It's nice to be able to be a little dirty again. Yeah, you're the dirty boy. We love it dirty again. Yeah, you're the dirty boy. We love it. We should say, you're the dirty boys.

For listeners who have, who have like, they listen to a pod with kids in the car, whatever, your podcast is clean. It's generally friendly, yes. We beep out swear words and stuff. I love it. So that's why when we get here, we really just like take off our tops

and let our tits wag around. Fuck, cum, pussy. Suck my dick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com. Or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys Double-A Weekly Bonus Episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Our producers Emma Erdbrink, our associate producers

Emilio Moreno, our engineers Casey Donahue, our video editor is Mike Dorff. Wags. We've eaten the garden. The Garden of Eden has been cleared out. We have cleared out the Garden of Eden. We're closing it down. All that's left is one forbidden apple.

And the Lorax, the sad Lorax. Yeah, the Lorax is the bomb. Are you going to eat the forbidden apple? Yeah, we're going to fuck it. We're going to. OK. You know that Wigs fucked an apple. Yeah, he fucked an apple.

And then you ate it after, right? Yeah, what else am I gonna do? All right. John. Have you ever fucked anything weird? I haven't, I myself haven't fucked anything weird, but I used to be turned on by this porn of a guy who fucked a calzone

and guys who fucked watermelons. I find it very exciting. When someone's that horny, they're like, fuck it, I'll just fuck this watermelon. I find that hot. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, interesting. Then you're like, little old me happens to stroll over.

Well, he'll be like, oh God, get this watermelon out of here now. Now we're in business. Oh man, now I don't know if I'm gonna watch the Celtics game five or watch this water The calzone fucking seems a little you got a little cool down You can't do it like right when it's like meatballs and stuff in it Listen when you're listen, I don't get involved in the logistics of the porn

They ordered a calzone from a restaurant. Somebody made that like like, lovingly. Yeah. Grandmama's recipe. It's still lovemaking, if you think about it. It's true. It's true. It's the highest honor to forever chef. It's all about love. So unfair. Fuck your thing.

John Glover. There's children on the other side of the skirt. I know, that's what I'm realizing. Oh, they left. They heard what was going on here, they took off. John Glover, Marissa Pinson. The podcast is on brand with John and Marissa. Everyone should subscribe to this if you like Doughboys.

It's a wonderful pod. It's got such a great sense of fun and it's genuinely super duper informative as I was saying earlier. I hope people check it out. Tell everyone about the pod. Yeah, so we cover a new brand every week. We do some old brands, like nostalgic brands.

We've done like Blockbuster and Beanie Babies. And then we, you know, have fun learning about new brands like Liquid Death or Crocs. So, you know, it's the same way like you guys are with Doughboys. You're here to celebrate, chain restaurants. We're celebrating brands. We had John with his Emmy award-winning research. We get into the history and we take turns

picking a brand each week to teach the other one about. And so yeah, each week is a whole new brand and we're having a lot of fun doing it. We've been doing it for a year. And if you wanna check it out, it's everywhere you can find your podcasts. You can go to Instagram, at onbrandthepod, and you can see videos of me and John's beautiful faces.

And what I think is really fun about it is we don't know what the other person's brand is until we start recording. So I love that. I never know what she's gonna do. It's always a surprise. And then I like learning too. Yeah, super fun.

Have you been on in the last year? We did, yeah, we did. I was for a double, the candy corn. You probably can't remember it because everyone was so ill. That was so disgusting. A candy corn power hour. We did a candy corn power hour which you didn't do.

So this is kind of like my second veggie episode cause I ate corn. That's true. You ate just regular corn. That was smart. So this is kind of like my second veggie episode, because I ate corn. That's true. You ate just regular corn. That was smart. How did we not have you guys on in the last... The pocket's been on for a year. I know, I know. We just hit a year.

No, but we're so happy to be here. Like, we've been... We wanted to come on your show, and like I said, a lot of our listeners know her, and have wanted us to come on the show. So, like, I'm, like, excited for our listeners to know that we did this. We'll get you back. We'll review a proper chain. We'll figure that out so we can have

the fun side of the podcast. And you guys will see each other at the Arby's memorial. Yeah, maybe next time we'll get something a little better to eat too, but... There's a new restaurant, Karen's Carrots, that we could probably review. That's good meat and veggie options. Next time you'll just do liquids and we'll get water.

You guys have done ice. We have done ice. We have done ice. We have done four different water episodes. Should I explain that at all or no? So Mitch used to, there's this place called, is it called Karen's Carrots? Karen's Carrots, yes.

It's a real place? It's a real place called Karen's Carrots. I don't know if it still exists, but we were on a group chat, or one of several group chats we're on together. Mitch would just occasionally say, someone was looking for a restaurant recommendation. Mitch would say, Karen's Carrots

has good meat and veggie options. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? Is that a real sentence? It was real, but why? Because I got news for you. Karen's Carrots never existed. Wait, really? Yeah, I was fucking with you got news for you. Karen's Carrots never existed. Wait, really? Yeah, I was fucking with you forever.

This is a lie? There's no Karen's Carrots? There's no Karen's Carrots. Am I the only one who didn't know it was a fake restaurant? Karen's Carrots was fake. Does Jack Allison know that it's a fake? Because you were telling him too. Jack knows that it's fake.

Jack knows it's fake? But not a lot of people know it's fake. And that's why. This is wild. And we knew, and that's why we picked carrots. Ha ha ha. For years, I told people. Welcome to's why. This is wild. And we knew, and that's why we picked Carrots. For years I told people. Welcome to On Brand with John and Marissa. You're on our show.

Wow, this is the prestige. I told people for years that Karen's Carrots was a real restaurant. And you said it has good meat and veggie options. And I think I made a fake Karen's Carrots logo. It was to the point. It had an old name tag, you, oh, I actually left this on. So wait, so you made this joke just for you,

and then you would gradually let people in? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I let one or two people in, but I would, to the point of what? Yeah, I've recommended Karen's Carrots to people. I said Karen's Carrots, which says has good meat and veggie options. And you know what? To keep up the work, I've recommended

to people in front of you, and it's fake. To what end? What is this thing? Does Karen's Carrots have a yelp? We need to make a yelp. There was a place that was like Karen's Carrots, and I think I used a lot of images for that to trick people.

To what end? Because I had fun doing it. It was very fun to lie to you about Karen's carrots. This is like, by the way, like six years old? I know, this is such an old bit. Wow. Wow. This is insane.

It's such a perfect reveal through the end of the carrot show. I love this. I love it too. On Brand with John and Marissa, everyone check it out. Until next time for the Spoon Man, I'm Nick Weiger. That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. I said it in the wrong order.

See ya. Are you okay? It's supposed to be that, and that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time for the Spoon Man, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. But I said it in the wrong order, so you got thrown. I'll just take it again.

Hey, hey Emma, you'll fix this, I suppose. Yes sir. That will do for this episode of Doughboys until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger, happy eating. See ya. Want to dress like the Doughboys? Get all your favorite Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.com. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. Hi, Nicole Byer here, newcomers with

Lauren Lapkus and Nicole Byer is doing a live streamed fan choice episode for the finale of our season on iconic sports movies. That's right. You can finally tell us what we should watch. And on September 5th at 4 PM Pacific time, we'll recap the winning movie and improvise a sequel with our friends, Paul Scheer and Rob Hubel live. Head to my Instagram or head gums to vote on the movie and then head to moment dot co co slash newcomers to buy tickets. Again, tune in September 5th at 4 p.m. Pacific Time. If you can't watch it live,

the video on demand replay will be available for 10 days. It's gonna be very fun. Don't miss it. Get your tickets at moment.co slash newcomers. Bye. That was a HeadGum podcast.