Doughboys - Garden of Eatin': Endives with Jess Rona

Episode Date: August 8, 2024

Jess Rona (@jessronagrooming) joins the 'boys to talk dog grooming, mac and cheese, and meat-eating before continuing the Garden of Eatin': Veggie Table: The Green Gobblin' with a review of endives.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.belganewsagency.eu/focus-flanders-the-success-story-of-larian-studios-founded-in-ghent-5hx3bihttps://www.gameinformer.com/interview/2019/11/07/a-knight-in-shining-armor-swen-vincke-talks-the-long-road-of-larian-studioshttps://polydin.com/baldurs-gate-3/https://www.travelawaits.com/2486363/best-waffles-in-belgium/https://www.thespruceeats.com/what-does-endive-mean-995658https://www.bonappetit.com/story/belgian-endiveSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. Hey buddy, tired of energy drinks that bring you up just to let you down? Toke torch energy hydrates and energizes you at the same time by transforming your water into an energy drink so you can avoid the crash of traditional energy beverages. Tok Torch makes it easy to try their products with their starter kit. The cap has a chamber that is filled with ingredients and pressurized with nitrogen. This keeps the ingredients sealed and protected without the need for preservatives.

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of other European Union states. But today, it can unite in patriotic pride in its great cultural export. A video game studio founded in 1996 in the town of Ghent by Sven Vinky and named for the still CEO's dog. Larian Studios would go on to create an acclaimed original franchise, Divinity, peaking in 2017's Divinity Original Sin 2, recognized by RPG enthusiasts as exemplary of the genre. And as development concluded on the second Divinity Original Sin, Dungeons & Dragons IP holder Wizards of the Coast tapped Larian to create a canonical sequel to the beloved Baldur's Gate franchise, which hadn't seen a mainline entry since 2001's Baldur's Gate expansion pack, Throne of Baal.

Despite Larian's pedigree, the stewardship was viewed with some hesitancy by computer RPG diehards, nostalgic for series creator BioWare's Infinity Engine games. Then, in 2020, Larian launched Baldur's Gate 3 in early access on Steam, and after three years of public gestation, in late 2023, the game was officially released, to universal acclaim. Heralded by many as among the greatest video games ever made. By still others, as Belgium's great gift to humanity and perhaps the single most impressive work of narrative art in the history of civilization. But as for food, Belgium's most beloved culinary export, fries, is attributed to France, as are

moules frites or mussels and fries. And the so-called Belgian waffles consumed in the US, piled high with whipped cream and other shit, are nothing like the lighter handheld version served in Brussels. In fact, as far as food goes, the nation is perhaps most known for its cultivation of a bitter green chicory varietal that's often featured in upscale appetizers and salads. The country's affiliation is so strong that vegetable itself is often prefixed with Belgian. The country's affiliation is so strong that the vegetable itself is often prefixed with Belgian. And while a niche product and a bit of an acquired taste, it's perhaps primed for mainstream

popularity, much like Larian's dense, 100-plus-hour Baldur's Gate III. This week on Doughboys, we continue The Garden of Eaton, Veggie Table, The Green Goblin, a month of reviewing Mother Nature's fast food with Endives. On Dives, Endives. All right. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. All right. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host,

man of La Muncha, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Is it gonna start? Is the show gonna start off with you, all right? Is that gonna how it's gonna start? I mean, it can if you want it to. I snorted. Our guests who, we'll introduce our guests in a moment here, but I gave our guest a thumbs up and she gave me one back

and I laughed and snorted. That's what it came from. I thought something was wrong. No, no, everything's fine. Okay, great. Everything's fine. I had a colonoscopy yesterday, Wags. That's right, we'll get into it.

Regarding the roast, had this pop into my head while sound designing today and couldn't believe it hadn't been done yet, according to the Wiki at least. Thanks for making lovely content I can listen to while I work. And a big shout out to Mitch for being such a good sport, spurt with these roasts.

All the best, David, roasts at birdfuck.com. I'm surprised by two things. First off, that you can be a sound designer and listen to the podcast while you're working. That feels- Yeah, I don't get that at all. Yeah, that's kind of, that's- Maybe he's really bad at it.

It could be. A credit to you, but also we have the drops on the show. I would think a sound designer would be like, well, I got the skillset. I'll put together the perfect drop. I'll send this in. Yeah. Instead, Crafts a roast that gets on the show, so.

I just wanna point out, you're wearing a Lakers sweatshirt today. Yeah, and you're wearing a Celtics hat. So what? And the Celtics are in the playoffs. And this episode's coming out in August. Why did you do this? You did not have to do this. Well, why did you do that?

Cause just to wear it. I don't know, I like the sweatshirt. I'm trying to mix up my wardrobe. I'm trying to- The new season is around the corner. We're done. One the other side of summer league now. Well, you first of all, it's the first game of the finals spoiler alert. Yeah. Okay. We're recording this on Thursday, June 6th Let me go ahead and bring up the headlines right now. It is 12 33, you know our record

Our course slot started at 12, but we didn't start on time for a few reasons. Somebody say headlines? Okay, let me see. New York Times. New York Times? I just repeated Jay's voice. That one's not fun.

That one's also not fun. You know what, maybe we won't read the headlines today. I got nothing for you today, Kevin. There's nothing. Okay, here we go. Crucial witness in Hunter Biden trial gives intimate portrait of drug use. So we're in the thick of the Hunter Biden trial right now. Biden links fight for Ukraine with allied effort on D-Day.

So we're celebrating the anniversary of the invasion of Normandy. A salute to our former president Biden. How far, where are we again? We're not there yet. Okay, all right, we're not in November. I mean, something could have happened where he could no longer be president, but that's not the typical course of events

with the election cycle. Sure. It won't be till 2025 where we have a new president, in theory. Jay Leno couldn't even make these ones fun, Mike, I'm sorry. There's nothing good going on. But the good news is, saw inside my body yesterday.

That's right. I told you up top. Saw inside my colon. You had a colonoscopy. Now, last week we were talking with Teen Creeps, an episode we recorded a couple days ago, but it came out last week and you were pre-colonoscopy. Now you're on the other side. I'm on the other side of colonoscopy.

How you feeling? Which was, I mean, the events were Monday, and then, which Monday was a prep day, and then Tuesday was an all-day prep day, which was bad, where you just buy a bottle of Miralax, and you, just a full bottle, like it's a certain size, but it's a full bottle of Miralax, and then you split it in two, and you just mix it into Gatorade. They certain size, but it's a full bottle of Miralex

and then you split it in two and you just mix it into Gatorade. They don't have like a big, cause I remember, isn't there like a big jug of something you drink? There used to be a big jug of something, but now they just do- They don't do that anymore? You do Dolkalex, two Dolkalex, two days in a,

actually three days in a row. So they're just like, go take a fend for yourself, go to Walgreens, get something OTC. Yeah. We're not gonna give you the big jug anymore. So Sunday, Monday, and then Tuesday I did Dolkalex, and then Tuesday I also did the Miralex, and then you do it at six p.m.

You drink like half a bottle. Weren't you excited about the prospect of a big jug? Yeah, I mean, I've heard about the big jug and the Grey Goop, and I didn't get either. So I didn't get the Grey Goop. Sucks. I don't know if I'm supposed to talk yet, but anyway. You can chime in if you'd like. I just wanna ask, are you allowed to eat at all?

No, so you can't eat. Not in advance, you have Lunchables next to you right now. Oh yeah, now I went wild after they were like, you can eat and then I was basically fucking, I had the catheter and shit in me and I was pulling it out. Not the catheter, they didn me. I was pulling it out. I was, not the catheter. They didn't put it, they didn't put anything in my penis. I was saying, I was like-

You think your dick hole was your butt hole? Well, it's flush with the surface. Kind of goes in a little bit. They couldn't find a vein on my hand. So they went with the, I was trying to say I was pulling the equipment with me. They gave me Cheez-Its afterwards, which were so good. Cheez-Its and apple juice in the water. How fun is that?

It was like donating blood. It was great. And I asked, I was like, can I keep the socks? And they were like, yeah, you can keep the socks because they give you socks. Yeah, that was going to be a lot of use. But I feel like you're just going to- You're just going to jack off in the socks?

Oh, wow. That's what you're saying. Not the best time for me to chime in. No, no, no, please. What were you gonna say? Sorry. We're sorry. Well, now, the sentence I was gonna say

is now every time you wear the socks, you're gonna think about the colonoscopy, but I guess not. You're using it for something else. It might be hard to wear. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. They were comfortable socks, and I going to do that. I'm not going to do that. They were comfortable socks and

I wanted to wear them. So I went in and this is very funny. I went in and the lady who was prepping me, a very nice nurse who was prepping me and I told her, I was like, I might have to go because it is bad. The couple of days before are bad, especially the day before is pretty bad. And your stomach just kind of hurts. And I was like, I think I might have to like go to the bathroom again. She's like, oh, it's okay.

Like we got, this thing's suction, it's just gonna eat it all up. And I was like, eat it all up. And then she goes, it's hungry. Really? And I was like, oh my God. I was like, that's like a joke I would make. And she was like, it's hungry. And then in, that's like a joke I would make. And she was like, it's hungry.

And then in there they had like, you know like the shit emoji? It was like the shit emoji with no eyes on top of the computer. It was gross. I mean, it is shit based. But they're trying to like lighten the mood a little bit. I'm sure.

That lady was hilarious. I loved it. That's great. We'll get her on. Yeah, we should get her on. And then, I got two polyps removed. Oh, that's nice. And he doesn't think that they're cancerous. And it looks like my colon was a little draculae.

It was two little polyps like that, which was cute. Yeah, that's cute. Adorbs. What a cute colon. Anyways, the colonoscopy went great. And I saw my insides. And you know what? They say that they're going gonna start me on some medicine

because you know that I have stomach problems forever. And he was like, oh, there looks like there is like, there might be a reason why your stomach is upset. And so he's gonna start me on some medication. That's nice. I was kind of out of it. I don't know what the fuck was going on. You come out of the anesthesia,

you're kind of like, what happened? And they were like, you're gonna feel warmth in a second here. And that's the last thing I remembered. I didn't even remember feeling warmth. I just went like right out. Were you semi-conscious or were you just- No, I was fucking out. You're just out.

And then I woke up again when the lady who made the joke about it being hungry was back. Wow, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad that went well. It was great. I'm so glad you went. I'm very happy. You're so good.

I'm very happy to go. Yeah. Dr. Sharman, it sounds like Sharman. Yeah. Dr. Sharma, who did a great job, but we were talking about it, and it's a possibility that we're all gonna get him. You went to him because you thought it was Dr. Sharma.

I went to a guy from my colonoscopy that I thought was Dr. Sharma. Yeah, he's like, I don't know, maybe he'll feed me afterwards. I was joking that like during my colonoscopy that I thought was Dr. Schwarma? Yeah, he's like, I don't know, maybe he'll feed me afterwards. Oh my God. I was joking that during the colonoscopy that full hamburgers were just appearing again. I was like, what the fuck? And I'm just swallowing burgers.

All right, Mitch, we're gonna have to resolve something because this is very fitting for our guest. Jemi is eyeing her seat next to you on the big chair. It was currently occupied by some cheese and cracker snacks, but I think if you move that aside as you're doing now. Hey, I'm like that cold has to be tube. I'm hungry. Well, I guess I gotta eat.

I went wild afterwards yesterday. Come on. Come on up, Jemmy. Go ahead, Jem. It's okay, sweetie, you can get up out there. Next Uncle Mitch. Come on, sit next to Uncle Mitch. Sit next to Uncle Mitch.

Sit next to Uncle Mitch. You have cheese. Emma, hit him with a drop. We'll see if we can get her up here. Schwal. Schwal. Schwal. It's a backwards E. That's right. Schwal. Schwal. Backwards E. Right. What is it gonna be? Swah is kind of a, I think, kind of the uh sound. Swah. There she goes. There she goes and there goes the uh, there goes the drop.

Wow. I like that song. I like it too. I think there was nothing, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. I also like the swah sound. Good sound. Emma, I don't see the, I don't.

Oh, that might be because I didn't send it to you. Emma, why don't you read it for us? I got it. Hey everyone, a wise man, Drop King, once said the best choc drops take five minutes or five days to make. This one took 10 minutes. I hope you still like it, Chris Finke.

Wow, thanks Finke. Wow, we just feel in a row for Finke. I mean, he might be the only guy submitting drops now. I think that still like it, Chris Finke. Wow, thanks Finke. Wow, there's a few in a row for Finke. I mean, he might be the only guy submitting drops now. I think that might be it. Finke, you're a king. Thank you for doing it. Maybe someone can break through the Finke monopolies. Kind of had a stranglehold on the drops lately.

He's the McDonald's. We gotta get a... Hey, maybe David, who sent in Man of LaMuncha and is a professional sound designer. You couldn't help me out here. He's like McDonald's and we need a... Like a Burger King? No, but that's kind of the same as McDonald's.

It's kind of the same as McDonald's. Like a Sonic. No, that's the same. It's kind of the same. I guess like a local. Do you want like an Astro, Astro. Astro, we need an Astro Burger. I love that, that's great.

Like a regional sort of thing. It's a little bit more unique. Got its own spin on it. Why? So we got to introduce our guest. One, because- Drop to birdpluck.com. Yeah, or Bird Pluck as well. Yeah, you can also Bird Pluck. It'll redirect. Well, actually, I don't know if you put, if you email birdpluck.com, it may not redirect.

Oh, right. That's just the proper URL. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, Mitch, I have some self-care non-negotiables. I never skip leg day and I never skip therapy day. Wow, Wags, good for you. When your schedule is packed with kids' activities, big work projects, and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip.

Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it, Wiggs. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Wiggs, I myself have benefited from therapy. Every time I go, I feel better. Wow. You know what? It's like going, it's like, it's like leg day,

but for the mind. If that makes sense to you. Yeah, well me, I never skipped leg day, but for the mind. If that makes sense to you. Yeah, well me, I never skipped leg day and I never skipped therapy day. It's helpful for learning positive coping skills, how to set boundaries and empowers you to be the best version of yourself.

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Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash doughboys today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash doughboys. Hulu Animaham is your animation destination to watch full seasons and new episodes of your favorite animated shows. Get ready to be bowled over, have your socks knocked off, and get thrown for a loop, all in one convenient streaming location.

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Look, I guess we need to intro our guests. Our guest and award winning groomer and comedian from JessRonaGrooming, which you can find on Instagram. JessRona is here. Hi Jess, thanks so much for being here. Hi, thank you for having me. What a who, what a grill. Wides, blacks, dog groomer.

Yeah, dog groomer. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I did this video series called Someone Needs a Bang Trim, where I would go up to people on the street and I would introduce myself and I would be like, hey, I'm a groomer. Does your dog need a bang trim? And then people would comment like,

hey, you might want to just say dog groomer. Oh, sure, right. I didn't realize it was an actual concern. Yeah, I didn't realize it was a thing. I mean, it's clear you have a dog, the dog has a lot of bangs. Right. But I thought it was like a fun video series.

But yeah, dog groomer. It's good to know that we're making that mistake over again. But I wanna see what do you think of Jemmy's beautiful coat here? I mean, it's gorgeous. Good looking girl. She's beautiful, she reminds me of my dog, Chupy. Aw.

Yeah, Chupy's so sweet and quiet like her. Yeah, Jimmy's the sweetest. Yeah, she's so nice. Jimmy never makes a sound. Yeah. Wait, how long have you had Chupy? Chupy, 12 years. And Chupy's a rescue, correct?

And what is like, Chupy's obviously very quiet, but we're a food podcast, what are Chupy's food references? Sounds like Chupy, mayonnaise you like. Oh, Chupy will eat literally anything. Anything. Yeah, she was living off of french fries when Eric found her. My husband, Eric Edelstein.

That's right. The fan and guest of the show. He got Chupi when he was shooting a movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme called Welcome to the Jungle. Wow. And it was shot in Puerto Rico. And there were these two puppies and they were living off of garbage and french fries

and he ended up taking her home and that was 12 years ago. That's a great origin story. I know, he surprised me. I thought she was a Chihuahua and I was like, oh, you brought me a Chihuahua, okay. Like I was into it. But then she grew into like a, it's Gemini, right? Yes, Gemini, yeah.

She grew into a Gemini, Gemini size dog. Aw. Yeah. Well, Gemini's a good girl. You'd be great in the quiet place. She's so nice. If we weren't into a quiet place, Gemmi's a good girl. You'd be great in the quiet place. If we weren't into a quiet place, she'd be good. I would be a great dog in the quiet place. A lot of dogs wouldn't survive the quiet place.

No, but you would. You'd be hanging in there. Yeah, she would thrive. She would thrive. You would thrive in the quiet place. What a sweet friend you are. Is she Beagle something? That's our guess is Beagle, Jack Russell.

And then I feel like there's something in there that makes her as like, because she's bigger than Beagles and Jack Russell, so I feel like there's something in there that makes her as like because she's bigger than Beagles and Jack Russell. So I feel like there's something that makes her taller. We think maybe like with it or something, because they're very calm, quiet dogs. And that's she doesn't howl like a Beagle. She's not like food obsessed like a Beagle. And she does not have this like crazy energy of a Jack Russell. So there's something really chill in there.

Her coat is very special. It's very short. It's very short. it sheds a lot. Oh, does it? I mean, it's springtime, so she's been shedding a lot. Yeah, shedding happens more during the solstices. Yes, it does. Interesting. Yeah, you're not cool. That's why.

Yeah, you should come on over to Jezrona Grooming. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do, we'll hook you up. I am terrified to clip her nails because I did her dirty ones and I clipped two of them too short and it was like a traumatizing experience.

Probably more for me than her and so I like refused to do her grooming at home. I take her somewhere always. What is it called, the quick? What is the? Yeah, it's a quick. The quick. Yeah, it's a little vein inside the nail.

Yeah. Wally and Irma got those too. Yeah. If you clip them, they bleed for what feels like forever. Yeah. Wally and Irma also shedding quite a bit. Who? My cats, Wally and Irma.

Oh. Yeah, I know, I know. They're your little figurines right here. Yeah, they're mine. I'm sorry, I'm an asshole. No, no, no, no. Not at all. You're not expected to know his pets.

Aw. They're shedding quite a bit. They're very nice cats. I don't have a dog. Do you have a good brush for them? I do, I have a good, you know what, I need to. I can send you one. Really?

Well, I don't wanna take gifts, but yeah, hell yeah. Send it on over. Take gifts, receive. Yeah, that rules. While they're never gonna be like, this is a freaking dog brush. By the way, I wanna say, like your dog, when Wags first found me, I was eating French fries.

I was kind of just eating French fries off the ground. Aw, cute. Yeah. And I was like, this guy's got potential. Yeah, now you're getting colonoscopies. I'm going to groom this guy. Now you're eating Cheez-Its and apple juice. I'm getting Cheez-Its, apple juice, colonoscopies.

It's great. Yeah, you've evolved. I have evolved. Well, I've known you for a very long time. I know. And you've always been very funny. And you've evolved, too, into this famous dog rumor and also have remained hilarious and great.

Thank you. I'm still funny. You're still funny. Yeah. Which a lot of the time, as we know in the comedy world, once you get off the route, you're done. That's me. Once I sit on the podcast thing, I'm

not doing that shit anymore. Well, I still want to do comedy. Yeah, I know I would. But no,, right? That's me, once I sit on the podcast thing, I'm not doing that shit anymore. Well, I still wanna do comedy. Yeah, I know what you mean. But no, do you? He's done. You don't wanna do sketch or anything like that? It's not fun? No, I kinda get burned out on all of that.

But I also like, it's a kinda thing, I think it just depends on what you wanna do, cause Mitch and I have different brains, we're different men, but I reach a certain point where I'm like, I don't feel like I'm getting anything out of this anymore, I stopped doing it and I didn't miss it. And I think that's the big threat, the big test. It's like, if you walk away from something

and you don't have the urge to go back to it, then maybe just that chapter is closed. But that's just for me. God, I wish I didn't care. That'd be so nice. I'm writing a script, I'm trying to sell a show. I'm like, you know, still, I miss it a lot. Yeah. You're thriving though.

You're very, very well. Yeah, totally. Totally. I just, yeah, I don't want to stop doing comedy. I miss it a lot. I get that. I wish I did. Man, I'd be so happy.

Wow. Well, I'm not happy. Cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, it didn't work in that way either. I am reading a book about happiness right now. What's the book? I could tell you right now,

but it's really, it's really amazing. And it talks about what true, it's called The New Happy by Stephanie Harrison. I'll add it to my list. I'm only on chapter six, but one of the things she talks about is how you can use your special gifts to help other people. And so everybody has their own special thing

that they have, you know? And like with this podcast, you are, I think, helping people. Like, you know, people, this is entertaining. It makes you feel like part of a community. It's pretty beautiful. So knowing that and feeling fulfilled by that could raise your happiness level.

Interesting. It's also a choice, like what you focus on expands. Right, sure. But, you know. I love self-help books, like I read them, like that's kind of like a, you know, I don't wanna quite call it a guilty pleasure, but it's kind of like that for me. Me too. Like I read a ton of them.

You do? I read a lot about like mindfulness and like ones that are like kind of pop business books, pop psych books. Yes. Even if I feel like they, there's a lot of bullshit in here, I feel like there's always one helpful nugget I pull away

and I also just genuinely like reading about it. Yeah, that's so cool. I'm listening to an audio book as well about happiness. It's called Happy by Pharrell Williams. I'm halfway through it. Yeah, that one's good. It's really good. I knew you were gonna do a joke.

And you knew it was gonna be a bad joke. Really good. No, no, no, I thought you killed it. You killed it. You don't leave her hanging. I thought she was pointing at me. No, I was just wanting a fist bump. Just like to say that you killed it.

I thought I was being threatened. And you know, when you're done with that one, because that one's really good, Phrell wrote that one. I should check out a Don't Worry Be Happy by Bob McAfee. Oh, that's good. It's a great read.

It's really good. I tried to get through that one once before. I stopped halfway through it. Yeah, it's a commitment, but it's good. It's worth it. Yeah. When I think of a happy song, I'm like, well, when you guys are both done

with your song, then you have to think of... If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There we go. There we go, yeah. I was gonna say, are there any more happy bass songs? I'm sure, I'm sure. We did happy, we did that one. What, yeah, we did happy.

Don't worry, be happy. I saw, Carlson took me to a SAG-AFTRA screening of Despicable Me 2. Okay, bragging. The directors were there, it rocked. The directors were there, and so was Pharrell. And it was one of those things where, like, all the questions were for Pharrell. But it was one of those things where like all the questions were for Pharrell.

But it was like when someone asked a question. Where's the hat? Things like that. Exactly. Where's the hat? What was the deal with that hat? Looked like the Arby's hat. Do you remember the hat? You know, all of the questions.

It did. Anyway, so he, but like he was talking about that song and he talked about it really like passionately. And it was just like, it was like, I was such a challenge just write a song called Happy. Like I knew I had to do it and like kind of evoke that mood and like, I love the Minions so much. And I had such a connection with the Minions.

He loves the Minions? Well, I mean, I think you'd have to write, you'd have to do because he's like, he oversees the, you know, he doesn't do the score, but he oversees the musical direction of those, of that franchise. I think you'd have to be passionate for the minions to be able to keep doing that.

Yeah, and he felt the pressure, and he delivered, and it's a great song. It's a great song, and the title is Happy, and it evokes happiness. It's a very happy song. Do you know he sees music in color? He has a thing where it's called something. Do you know what it's called?

I don't know if he talks about it. Oh yes, I've heard about this. He sees music. Synesthesia or something like that. I don't know. There's a name for the phenomenon. It's pretty cool. You got it right, synesthesia.

Yeah. That's pretty cool. Pretty cool. So wait, can you tell me what your favorite personal development mindfulness book is? Or one that really impacted you? Well the one I cite, but this is more of a how-to guide, but I do really like the how to break up with your phone.

And that's one where it's just. Oh, I need that. It's great. It's like the corniest title and it's very corny all the way through, but it's like, it changed my life. Really? And so it's just like,

it just is all about getting yourself off of your device and being more in the moment. And it has kind of a step-by-step thing, which I just followed. This was during the pandemic, so I had nothing else going on. This man doesn't use his phone on Sundays. Yeah, but digital Sabbath. Wow. I've maintained for over two years now, it's great.

Is it on Audible? I feel like that would be counterintuitive because it's on your phone. I read the print version, but I'm sure you can listen to it. Yeah, maybe I'll get that printed book and I will not listen to it on my phone. Well, it's a short volume too,

as I'm sure you could, it'd be a good listen. But that one I really liked. But then the other one is the, I'm trying to remember the title of it. Oh, The Courage to Be Disliked. That's another one. Did you read that one? No, I just put that on my list.

Really love that one. I keep hearing about that one. You don't gotta read that one, my man. You're nailing it. All right, I wanna to talk about food. So we are eating healthy today, Jess, but we are normally a podcast that covers fast food and chain restaurants.

When we had Eric on, we talked about the McPlant. I'm curious, what are your indulgences? Do you have any trashy food, either stuff you eat currently or stuff you've eaten in the past? Well, Eric is vegan, right? He's mostly vegan, yeah. Vegetarian.

He's eating more fish now. Vegetarian, oh, because he eats fish. He eats fish, but no dairy or eggs or anything. He took me to Fish King, which is a great. He loves Fish King. Fish King is great, I love Fish King. You should join us. I gotta go to Fish King. Everyone loves Fish King.

Yeah, my indulgences, I mean, all the time. I love mac and cheese, I'm not vegan. Mac and cheese is like my biggest indulgence. You know who has, who's weirdest place has the best mac and cheese? Lemonade. Wow. Their truffle mac is my favorite.

And there's a lemonade two doors down from my shop. So it's dangerous. I was, I went through a phase where I needed to stop. Cause it was all I was eating for lunch. I'd just go and get a mac. It's cheap. It's fast. It's fast.

It like, it hits a spot to a degree because I would always want more, but I, you know. Love mac and cheese. I love mac and cheese. It's my ultimate comfort food. It's really good. It's great. I'm like kind of a purist.

I don't want like stringy. I don't want breadcrumbs. I don't want peas or anything. I just want like Kraft. But the truffle's okay with you. Yeah, because it's just a hint. It's really mostly like creamy and cheesy. That's huge, because so often you get truffle fries

or truffle mac and cheese. I've had versions of it I don't like, and I'm not the biggest truffly guy to begin with, but it's like, this is so loaded with truffle oil. It's overwhelming. It's like they have the balance right. Yeah, they do. You should try it.

Do you ever make it on your own? Yeah. What's your, like, do you have a go-to cheese? Do you ever make it on your own? Yeah. What's your, what's your go, like what, do you have a go-to cheese? You have a go-to recipe? I just love the basic shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like boxed mac and cheese.

The Kraft blue box. Can't go wrong. Do you love a boxed mac? Goodles. Have you had Goodles? No. I don't think I've had Goodles. Wait, maybe I've had.

It's at Whole Foods. Look it up. I was told Goodles is so good, so I started making that and it's really yum. I tried not to. Goodles sounds like something Wags and I would make up. It sounds like Goodles sounds- It sounds really cute.

It sounds cute and also could be gross. I think it's called Goodles. I have had Goodles, yes. Okay. Because this is the, I remember the orange box and the logo. Yeah, those are good. Yeah.

Yeah, I just love a Mac. Wags puts the goo in Goodles. Okay. Wow. You're so proud of that. I'll give you your moment. Like, you know. I like truffle.

I like all, I am a truffle fan. Yeah. You can go too truffly, but I think that if it's when it's nice, a nice hint. I made, remember I made the truffle mashed potatoes. I remember. Those were a delight. Yeah, but they were, but I did think it was a little too, I love the truffle shuffle.

We all like that. That's funny But I but I I'm like you I do like the I like a pure Mac and cheese more than anything But I want to ask you what is the state of lemonade right now? How do you feel about lemonade because it is it is it is it bad? Yeah. Well the last few times I went Well the one I think it's a franchise. So I think different people own different locations. Yeah, we reviewed lemonade in the past Yeah, we did we did review it once and own different locations. Yeah, we reviewed Lemonade in the past. We did review it once. And it is- Not a fan.

Well, here's the thing with Lemonade. It's expanded a lot, like you were saying. And like, so, you know, there's ones, there's like an LAX terminal, you know, Lemonade. They're everywhere. And I feel like there is a lot of locational variants, which sometimes can be come from the franchising model. It can come from a lack of oversight,

but it also come from too heavy of a hand from corporate. You know? Yeah. Anyway, like, all that rambling said, like I feel like it has declined overall. Yes, and now you can't look at the salads. It's like the one by me, it's like they fogged up the glass, you can't see what you're getting. Really? Oh, wow.

Yeah, you have to like peek through. That's a weird move. And now it's only pictures of the items. That's the one on like on Larchmont by my shop. That's so crazy. Part of the fun is you're going in there and it's kind of like cafeteria style. You're going down like, oh, I'll try some of that.

Ooh, that looks good. I would think that would hurt their sales, hiding the merchandise. Probably does. Wow, what a weird move. Yeah, and I tried eating their other stuff and it's just, yeah, I'm not a big, I tried their salmon,

their hatched green chili chicken isn't bad. Yeah. And some of their sandwiches are pretty good, but for the most part, I'll choose something else for lunch. Right. Yeah, but the Mac, I mean. You got a good strip there.

I just love the Mac. Well, Archimonde has got, you got some good stuff there. There's some new stuff on Archimonde too that's really good. Yeah. Yeah, there's a new place going there, I know, right? Yeah. I think Bill Rosenthal's place is going there.

Oh, he's opening up a deli, right? I'm excited. He's been waiting for somebody to feed him, now he's gonna do it himself. Jess, I wanted to ask you- You judged, you're like, well, I gave it a shot. Yeah. Yeah.

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I wanted to ask you, cause you mentioned you're not vegan. Obviously you work with animals. Like does, like has that, did that change your perspective on like meat consumption at all? Like, do you have any sort of, you know? Guilt?

Yeah, exactly. I do. Do you? I do, yeah. I mean, like, I don't eat cephalopods, and I stopped eating- What's a cephalopod? Like, like octopus and squid.

I don't eat them, cause I feel like- He could have just said octa- I don't know if you know what I'm talking about. Cephalopod. Yeah, he could have said octopus and squid. I like saying cephalopod, it's a fun word. It's a fun word. Yeah.

Anyway, so I stopped eating them, and I've stopped eating pork cephalopod. It's a fun word. It's a fun word. Anyway, so I stopped being them and I've stopped eating pork in recent years. I had a period where I was like totally not eating any meat. I did an entire year of not doing that. And that kind of also led to a general reduction in meat consumption. But like, how was, I'm just curious, how has the psychology of eating it like influenced you?

I don't eat a ton of meat or a ton of dairy. I just do it, like, I don't wanna be super restrictive about it, but I'd rather not eat a lot of it cause like cows are dogs, pigs are dogs. I don't think chicken are dogs though. Chickens can be assholes. I do have less compunction about, look, we have to assign some sort of hierarchy

to different animals, right? Cause we have to eat life to sustain ourselves. I feel like you have to assign some sort of hierarchy to different animals, right? Because we have to eat life to sustain ourselves. I feel like I've heard multiple, I feel like, I'm saying like, I don't think you're the first one who, multiple people I've heard say chickens are assholes. Yeah, I don't, but I believe it now. I'm just like, get out of here.

Yeah, I mean. You just care about a bird, come on. I don't know, some people have chickens as pets and they're sweet and they're snuggly. But yeah, I don't feel as bad eating chicken. Sometimes if I'm doing like a whole rotisserie chicken and I'm like ripping it apart, that makes me feel bad. Or like if I see a fish get butchered and it bleeds,

that's sad. That is sad. A live fish going down, lobster can be tough. Like seeing something die, it's hard. It's hard. But it's still like in the moment, it's like, you know, the guilt does go away a little bit in the moment.

But I think that I really think about it, it's sad. Well, you're a man who, you like the chicken. Don't you like ripping apart the thing? I do like that. But I am always conscious of how many souls I'm consuming. Because there's something about, weirdly, eating a bunch of popcorn shrimp or a shrimp cocktail, I'm almost like,

I have eaten six life forms. That's six souls I've absorbed into my own soul. And when I'm eating a rotisserie chicken, I'm like, what's this? They call you the soul eater. When you go into Red Lobster, they're like, here comes the soul eater. Yeah, I just watched this.

Oh, were you gonna say? No, I was just gonna say, but like a chicken, it's just like, oh, this is maybe three or four meals, or like, you know, the same thing, like when I'm eating, and I know beef is extremely, cows are sweeties and beef is extremely bad for the environment, but like there is a sort of thing of like, oh, this is 1.6 of an animal, you know?

But that's also like a rationalization, because it's just, whatever, I'm trying to work through it. Yeah. You might just maybe shouldn't eat meat. Well, that's the thing, I think like you, and I- Or just like every once in a while. Like you, it's become a much more periodic thing. Yes, we have this podcast here.

Well, it looks like we're doing like more veggie stuff. Yeah, I know. True. Yeah, I mean, just every once in a while, I don't know. Right. Live your life. Yeah. I was just going to say, yeah, I mean, just every once in a while, I don't know. Right. Live your life. Yeah. I was just gonna say, about the shrimp souls,

I just watched this documentary about the blue whale and they eat tons of krill, like five tons of krill every day, and krill is this fish and they just eat so much of it that it's just like, it's okay, it's just like, it's so much fish die in the ocean because of the nature of things. So I don't know, I feel like that might help

with your guilt with shrimp and the souls of the shrimp. Yeah, I know I'm with ya. The blue whale. I don't know. Is this a sequel to The Whale Wikes? We love the movie The Whale. It's a prequel. Oh, it's a prequel. I don't know if you've seen The Whale.

The whale lived with a Navi and he was the blue whale. And then he came to earth. Well, he was like, there's no meatball subs or porno here, and then I'll be like, we don't know what you're talking about. Get me off of this rock. The whale loves meatball subs, he loves jacking off. Yeah.

I don't know if you've ever seen the whale, he floats at the end. He floats at the end, yeah. We're a big fan of the whale. Wow, I mean, seems like a great whale. Yeah. It's Brendan Fraser plays the whale. Yeah, I didn't see it.

The titular whale. Yeah, I didn't see it. It's, how do we put it? It's Brendan Fraser plays the whale. Yeah, the titular whale. Yeah, I didn't see it. It's, how do we put it? It's not good. You ever seen like a bad movie? This is kind of like one of those. I thought it was so good though. Everybody loved it.

Or they maybe just loved his performance. He's good in it. He's awesome. The overall movie is, it's kind of weirdly fat phobic and also like, I just, cause it was also like the playwright was working through stuff in writing it. So I know it was partly his own story.

So I understand that aspect of it. But I think as a movie, if just like as a, as a- He was never a fat guy though. I think the movie, it doesn't really, it just doesn't come together. Yeah. Speaking of like leaving, leaving, you know, we were talking about like leaving comedy and missing it.

Yeah, sure. I just like Brendan Fraser was gone from Hollywood for so long. Yeah, I know. I wonder if he was like either just like trying to audition and book and didn't or if he was just like, I'm out of here and then he missed it and then we did the whale. I think his, he has a sad personal story

that he's gotten into a little bit, but I don't know the specifics. I don't know, cause it seems like a guy, I can't see him auditioning too much, right? Like it's like a guy who gets offers. Yeah. Offer only in Hollywood Lincoln. That's what it's called folks.

If you're at a, you're famous enough where you don't go to the audition anymore, they're just like, hey, give me an offer or, and I'll do your movie maybe. Offer only for podcasts. That's true. You don't have to audition for podcasts anymore. Me too.

Yeah. I'm so excited. You're offer only as well. Wow, this is a huge moment. We had Koala again to audition a few times. He's coming, yeah. He's bombed. I'd say he's getting closer, but he's not.

He's regressing. By the way, speaking of saying goodbye, I know that you don't like when the curtains are open here on the windows, but the NBA Jam machine is sadly making its march out of the building. Wow. If you look out the window here, I'll take a picture of it. Headdome staple of the building. Wow. If you look out the window here, I'll take a picture of it. Headdome Stable is the NBA Jam Tournament Edition

There it is. that has been in the lobby, been a part of this company for as long as we've been a part of this company. It is leaving. It is departing. Anya's getting rid of it. She moved fast. She offered, I was still thinking about it,

but she never, I waited too long. I think it's- How are you gonna put that in your place? And how are you gonna get it over? It's good to not have NBA Great It's so big look at them trying to yeah Huge pain in the ass parties or something exactly consumes a lot of power It's noisy just leave it off all the time like it is here

And that's why they're getting rid of it and sending it to some other podcast studio. It also apparently sucks crazy amounts of power. Yeah, for sure. You don't want that in your house. Yeah, all right, fair, fair. I don't need the NBA Jam machine. I just is sad to see it go. It is cool looking.

It is, it's cool looking, and it's the NBA Finals today-wise, Game One, I don't know. You'll forget about it in a couple hours. Just a reminder, today was, You'll forget. Today's June 6th. I got a real NBA Jam in a couple hours. You'll forget. There's June 6. I got a real NBA jam in a couple hours. It's true. It's true.

Hopefully someone will be looking at Jason Tatum from behind the arc and say, he's on fire! I would, Vyges, I would love that. Unless it's literal. That would be bad. Yeah. Inside TD Garden.

He just burst into flames? Yeah. Spontaneous combustion He just burst into flames? He just emulated, yeah, spontaneous combustion. Here's a pitch, NBA jam, like an actual jam. Mitch, that's really good. Thank you. Yeah, I think that sounds delicious. What flavor? Fuck.

I think some sort of orangey jam, and like a basketball color. Yeah, some sort of marmalade, like basketball color. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Ooh, basketball, like so if it would be like marmalade, orange, jam, but then the stripes of like Ooh, so if it would be like marmalade, orange, jam, but then the stripes of like blackberry in it.

Yeah, I know a professional jam maker. Do you really? This is great. Yeah, squirrel. Oh, you know Squirrel Connection. Jessica Kozloff. Oh, okay. She owns Squirrel.

And she's a professional jam maker. You guys could do a collab and sell products and then have a jam line with Squirrel. Wow. And then, you know, sell it to your people and they'll get a little taste of your jam. Let me just say. Jemmy, relax, not that kind of Squirrel.

Does Squirrel wanna partner with the Doughboys? Does Squirrel want another scandal? I know. The scandal is over. I'm a big fan of Squirrel. I love Squirrel. I'm a big fan of squirrel as well. I eat their curr, like all the time. I love them. We love squirrel. This is in the past, yeah. I do the almond, look, as far as LA restaurant scandals go, pretty low on the, on the, there's some,

there's some bad scandals, which we won't bring up. But, but I, I get the, the, the, the almond toast with jam on top of it is very, very good. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. which we won't bring up. But I get the almond toast with jam on top of it is very, very good. And I will do a yogurt parfait sometimes. A lot of fun.

I like squirrel. I'm a fan of squirrel. They won't want to work with us. No, of course not. But I think it's, to make an NBA jam, someone just do it, I guess. Somebody do it. It's been done.

And also you gotta do- You gotta get the NBA license, you gotta go through Adam Silver. Oh, that's it. It's been done. And also you gotta do- You gotta get the NBA license, you gotta go through Adam Silver. Oh, that's true. It's gonna be a whole thing, yeah. Yeah. I guess you could do it unofficially.

You probably also gotta, whoever the current, it was midway back in the day, I don't know who owns the NBA Jam license right now, you gotta go through them too, it'd be a whole thing. Look, beyond that, I do hope Tatum is on fire from beyond the arc tonight. I hope the Celtics win. I gotta point out out, we've got to get to the show here. We have to talk about the show.

Wait, I have one more thing to tell you about the Celtics. Please. Oh, please. So Larry Bird is one of Eric's favorite players of all time. Wow. And so I was going to wear my Larry Bird Celtics shirt today. I love that. I don't care about the team, though.

I don't care about teams. I was just like, you know, sometimes I'll just be like, oh, they're sad, I want them to win. You know, like I, you know, that kind of thing. But I did get a tattoo of Eric's initials and it's two hearts and, but if you, it says EE, but then if you flip it over, it's 33 and it's Larry Bird's number.

Wow, how about that? Cause anytime he goes into an audition, he's like, Bird, Bird. And he'll call in Larry Bird. And he just pumps himself up. He tried to do it for me once before a Maud audition. He drove me Maud from UCB. We used to do these sketch team auditions.

And he pumped me up. And he's like, you're just like Larry Bird. You just want to go. And it pumped me up too much. And I shriveled under pressure. And it was not a good way to get me pumped up for this audition. I think you were, I'm sure you also did great.

Yeah, sure. And I don't know who the nerd was who was watching over these auditions either. Yeah, it was. Fucking. It was Neil. Campbell? Uh, not a nerd, he's not a nerd, sir.

No, he said, he said I did a good job, I remember. He said I did a good job. Didn't make the team, but he said I did a good job. That, that, I. I'm sure it was worse than, I mean, not as bad good job, I remember. He said I did a good job. Didn't make the team, but he said I did a good job. I'm sure I was worse than, I mean, not as bad as I thought I was. I bet you did great. And also, I love that he loves Bird,

and I love that mentality. And he's a guy who books, he books. That's true. You think it works, it's working. He loves Bill Walton as well. He does. He's a big Walton. All right, Bill Walton.

Yes, he was so sad. He was sending me a Bill Walton and Larry Burton, Bill Walton. Yes, he was so sad. He was sending me like a Bill Walton and Larry Berthand that he's gonna frame. Yeah, really? Yeah, yeah. Aw. There might be news to you. No.

Yeah, he's got a great wall of some frame stuff. Yeah, he does. So Calzone, UCLA, great. And a champion with the Celtics. That's right. And with the Portland Trail Blazers, their lone championship. I might go see the dead-end company at the Sphere.

Eric might go. Yeah. How fun is that? Oh shit, I will definitely hit him up. Now this is again, something that will have happened in the past as this episode's released. It will happen in the past, but it's the future for us and you don't know about it, but it would be on a weekend.

I was gonna do like a Vegas treat yourself weekend. How fun is that? I know that you know great food in Vegas, so I was like. I was gonna do like a Vegas treat yourself weekend. How fun is that? I know that you know great food in Vegas, so I was like, I'm gonna try to eat at a couple of good restaurants and relax because I'm going away to work. So I was like, I'm gonna have a nice relaxed weekend. Do you like spa experiences?

Yeah, I was gonna try to do something like that. The win. The win, okay, all right. I mean, I'm sure there's all kinds of great spas, but I went there and it was really nice. I love it. Next level. What do you, do you do, like do you have a specific agenda at the spa?

Are you just hanging out there? Cause I know some people like to go and they just get the day pass and they're just like, I'm just chilling here. No, I mean both. I've never done that. Yeah. Yeah, I love a facial and a massage.

Okay. I got a facial yesterday. That's why I look so glowy. You're glowing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. But you know, I mean, and then yeah, it's time in the jacuzzi, steam room.

I love it. Mellow out. Wow. Yeah, it's so nice. Do you have to be nude in those or no? I think, I mean, I am, I don't care. Yeah. I think if it's just like, you know, not co-ed,

you could, if it's co-ed, you can't be nude. If it's just for men or women, you could be free. But it also depends, it's like, I feel like sometimes people are, especially Americans are very weird about nudity, public nudity, so. I'll go to the steam room and I feel like everyone's just covered.

No one wants to be hog out. Yeah, yeah. Which I don't care, but I'm also like, I'm just gonna go. Yeah, you're kinda like, come on everybody. I'm gonna go with the flow though, cause I'm like, then it feels like a statement if I'm like the one guy, you know, hanging hog.

Yeah, it's definitely a statement if you're a little fucking hot girl. If it's all women, I don't care. Yeah, sure. And it's fine. But there is a coed nude place in, have you ever heard of Esalen? No, what is that? Is that in Vegas? Esalen?

No, it's in Northern California. Okay. And I didn't wanna be nude there cause I felt weird cause there were guys there. Yeah, exactly. And I just, it didn't, I wasn't relaxed. But it was, I mean, there was a lot of nude people there that didn't care that had, you know, they just didn't care.

It's in Northern California. It's like a self-help kind of like retreat sort of place. I would definitely care and I would, I would definitely care. Right, that's the thing I feel like when you see these like co-ed public nudie spaces, like, oh, it's very free and we're very liberated. But I feel like there's, it's also like just a weird,

like the lifestyle thing. They're actually like all weird swingers who are like, but they're just like trying to apply some sort of spiritual naturalistic side to it. Yeah, I just saw a lot of dicks. And I was just like, you know, I'm gonna wear my bathing suit and. Did you hear him sneak in that sucking fuck thing

at the end? No. I didn't hear it. I was just thinking about all the dicks I saw that day. Yeah, right, yeah. A lot of dicks. The most dicks I ever saw in one day. And it's also like a lot of guys who are there,

I think just specifically be like, check it out. You know, they wanted their exhibitions. I'm definitely not that kind of guy. That is for sure. I, the wee spa. Oh yeah. The wee spa is another place I know where you're kind of, you're hog out.

I just, I wouldn't be comfortable. But if it's a bunch of other guys, you still care? I'm not, I'm like a never nude. Wii Spa is weird too. I feel like I would be, I feel like everything would be very compact, I guess you could say. No, I'm with you, because you'd get nervous

and you'd feel like everything would shrivel up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Wii Spa is really weird, because like you got the way the Wii Remote works, you kind of control your hog. Dear God. To wave it in different directions direction. I had a Wii Remote as hog. I'd be fine with killing hog out I do not have a Wii Remote hog So win for the win is when is the one to go to?

Batman but a good hotel Jerry's out for me. I don't know enough yet Uh, hmm. Oh. Cherry's out for me. I don't know enough yet. Me neither. For the win, also a great burger place in LA. Oh, yeah.

If you want to have a good smash burger. We got to talk about your pants. You pointed them out when you came in. Oh, great pants. Fantastic pants. I love a print. You got a bunch of mushrooms on there. Mushroom pants.

Those are great pants. I wore them for you guys. They look great. I wish you were wearing the bird shirt, but I love the mushroom pants. Why? Because here's my question to you. And we chatted about this very quickly beforehand. Could we do mushrooms in Veggie Month? Would you allow it?

I think so. Oh my God. I thought you were going to say no. Why would I ban that? Because they're fungi. I think they qualify. I think they're close enough. Would you allow tomatoes during veggie month?

Well, we talked about this last week with teen creeps. And I think if someone really wanted to talk tomatoes, we would do tomatoes. Yeah, I don't think we need to get too crazy about the text on it. It does kind of irk you a little bit. Not really that much. Okay.

Because I feel like it still is kind of tricky to me. It's like one of our vegetables isn't technically a vegetable. And then people are gonna complain about it. Yeah, they'll get mad. Well, they really. They just don't know what a vegetable is. And then people are gonna complain about it as the end. They'll get mad. They just don't know what a vegetable is. They think mushrooms are vegetable.

They don't really complain. They're sad. 100%. We know they're sad. They're sad and empty and they have nothing fun in their lives. They should read the Happy Book. They should.

Which one, the Pharrell or the one you mentioned? Listen to the Pharrell Happy Book. The book is really short. Listen to the girl happy. Look, it's really short. It's very melodic. I love the mushroom pants. Thank you. There was a study that mushrooms are very good. They fight against anti-carcinogen.

I'm just trying to say they help fight against cancer. Yeah, sure. Is what the study said recently. Are you a mushroom enthusiast to eat them? Yeah, I mean not enthusiast, but I love mushrooms. Would you have a favorite kind? No, maybe shiitake or something. Those are fun.

Yeah, those are fun. Yeah, love a shiitake, love a chanterelle, love a portabella, I feel a portabella kinda got played out, but then now that it's been, it got played out, now I feel like it's kinda like, oh, it's just kinda back. It's kinda just around. I'm so, so on mushrooms. I wish I loved them more, but I do eat them.

But there's a certain person who loves mushrooms on pizza, and I always am like, oh god, I gotta have like a mushroom pizza. Really, you don't like it? I don't, like, that's, it's always someone who's like, let's get a mushroom pizza. And I'm like, I don't want the mushroom pizza. Really? I'm also a- You're hanging out with Mario. It's me and Mario, let's get a mushroom pizza. And I'm like, I don't want the mushroom pizza.

I'm also- You're hanging out with Mario. It's me and Mario hanging out. I love mushroom pizza. And- So yummy. Yeah, it's good. I-

Especially like a white pizza with a bunch of different types of mushrooms. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Now we are talking. That is, there's a difference there. But also like, it's like, I like a baseline cheese pizza. We've talked about this before.

Love cheese pizza. I love a cheese pizza. And, it's like, I like a baseline cheese pizza. We've talked about this before. I love a cheese pizza. And when it's like, you know, well Mario wants to order the mushrooms, you know what I mean? And then God forbid if Luigi comes over. That's a whole thing. And it's two against one. He's gone a little, like a lot of Italians,

he's gone a little right, you know what I mean? He's gone a little alt-right, Luigi. So Luigi comes by and starts talking about, like, you know, you see what comes by and starts talking about like, you see what Elon's doing? I'm like, yeah, I see it. Where Lusconi was wronged. Yeah, yeah.

And that's a whole thing. If I see Fauci, like the only thing that, and he's Italian too, so you know what it is. Yeah, yeah. That's a whole layer to it. That's, oh, of course. He's like, yeah, he's deserted us. Yeah.

We have a literal fascist head of state in our country now. Fauci is originally from Mushroom Kingdom, correct? He is. He's from World 2-1. He's from World 2-1? He's from World 2-1, yeah. World 2-1, I'm trying to remember what that was.

So he's underwater, he's like an underwater guy. Oh. We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry. Okay. I'm very sorry. I played the game. I know. Boji's from World 2-1.

He's World 2-1. I don't know why I said that instead of vanilla dome or something, but yeah. I do, I remember seeing like during like, during COVID, I remember seeing him and I remember like, it was before the whole before the press conference started, and he was like, do-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne- Well, his wife's a blooper is a thing. Oh my God. Yeah, so that's part of it. Mrs. Fauci is a blooper?

Mrs. Fauci is a blooper, yeah. And they have a bunch of little bloopers as kids. They follow her. I saw like a lot of little Fauci's falling behind him. Yeah, you gotta be careful. But they also were just looked, they looked like him, but smaller. They had white hair.

Yeah, they'll still like surround you and you gotta shake them off. Try to give you the COVID vaccine? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

So fun. Ha ha ha ha. And then we'll edit the scene. Yay. Thank you for editing the scene. That was helpful. Good instinct. See, he still loves it.

He still loves it. Yeah, he loves it. It's still in him a little bit. Little bloopers. Come on, world 2-1? Mario specific. It's true. It's true. Bloopers.

I was there in the scene, but you were the, you were the, I was the straight man. You were the brains behind of it. Well, but thank you. I disagree on that on multiple levels. Yeah, so I think that it's good that we didn't do mushrooms. Instead, we're doing endives. We're talking endives.

You know what? I have my fruit here today. That's right. It's not fruit. Our doubles are the fruit. No, fruit is behind the paywall. Fruit's behind the paywall. If you want to hear fruit, we go behind the paywall.

That's the only way you get the fruit content. The only way you can get the fruit content is behind the paywall. Yeah. I mean, people, and I think we're gonna get a lot of people signing up to hear these fruit doubles. A lot of people complaining too. They say, hey, paywall, the fruit doubles. I wanna hear about the fruit content.

I have to hear about veggies. Yeah, you gotta hear about veggies. You can't get the fruit stuff. The sweet stuff. Sign up at patreon.com slash doughboys. You want the fruit. Sweet stuff's behind the paywall. Behind the paywall.

Wags, I have a fruit update. Victor, my fruit cart guy. Yeah, I have the best fruit cart guy. He's who made this. Griffith? And, and, and. In the park, I know. Yes. Oh, you don't want to say it.

I don't want to say it, but yeah, yeah, yeah, that's close. I think I knew who you were talking about. He's great. So Victor rules. And yesterday he told, he is, and I told you, Sus was like, I thought when you said this was, this is another Mitch thing where you say this guy is the best and it's not, it's not true. And he's like, but I've, he's like, but I've eaten at like three fruit carts, which was funny

because Sus is just going around eating at fruit carts. And he was like, you're right. This guy is the best. Victor is the best. He's the best fruit car guy. He's leaving in December. He told me, Wow. Where's he said he's going to move to Las Vegas. He says LA is too expensive. He can't live here anymore. He's gonna go to Vegas. It made me very sad that we have, we gotta review Victor before he leaves. We gotta review a guy.

We gotta review the guy. We gotta review him. He's the best fruit car guy. And then some lady came up and there's some lady came up in a Mercedes. He's like, hold on, let me take care of her. And then he was like, she always complains about the fruit. She bought a hundred dollars worth of fruit,

gave me 80 bucks. This fucking- That sucks. This Mercedes asshole. Yeah, of course, that's who always does it. Fucking sucks, yeah. That's horrible. Did you have a, he's moving.

I wonder what the demand is. I mean, there must be, I think it's probably everywhere. I feel like Vegas. Vegas, it's a hot climate. I wonder if you'd set up on the strip, I wonder where you'd be. I mean, there must be, I think it's probably everywhere. I feel like Vegas, it's a hot climate. I wonder if you'd set up on the strip, I wonder where you'd be a street cart vendor out there. It's a great question. I mean, he's gonna kill it in Vegas.

I'm sure he will. Yeah, sure. Yeah, but I'm sad. I'm sad to see him go. Yeah. And it sounds like you've been there. Mm-hmm. He's good. It's really good. It's really good.

He's good as hell. He might get too hot and then come back. That is very true. It's oppressively hot there. It is very warm. To be outside for hours. Yeah, it's like World War II. Was that close? Yeah, you did good.

Yeah. It depends on which game, because in Mario 1, that's like where you meet Lakitu in Super Mario Brothers, the original. That kind of works though, because Lakitu did become more of a desert character in a way, didn't he? Yeah, and also kind of like just a racetrack sort of guy.

Oh yeah, he does see the- Camera guy, he works as a camera. But I saw, actually yeah, he's Union. I saw Lakitu on a shoot I did recently. He's Union. Yes, right. No, he's a good Iatzi guy. Yeah, and he was, I will say this, during the strike, I did see Lakitu on the line. He came out to the picket line. Lakitu is so great good I at sea guy Yeah, and he was I will say this during the strike. I did see look who Lucky to on the line

He came out to the picket line. He was like he do is in a cloud to be fair He came out in a cloud. Yeah, but like no one was gonna hold that against him Like it's what's important is he shows up, but he brought like he brought frozen lemonades for everyone. That is very sweet. Yeah Yeah, we just want You did it again! Was that the second beat? That was the second beat? That was the second beat. You did so good! I was like, do I tag someone out? What character is my walk on?

You missed it. Are we starting an improv team? All I'll do is this from the back line after every one of you. Jimmy will hang out. He's retired from improv. He's officially retired from improv. I haven't done improv since 2015. Are you starting an improv team? I think. Sure. All I'll do is this from the back line after every one of you. Jimmy will hang out. He's retired from, he's officially retired from improv. I haven't done improv since 2015.

2015. Yeah, I walked away. But I realized- So you really just did not like it? I thought that I didn't like it. I just like, I, you know, it served me for a portion of my life and then I moved on.

I was like, okay, I think I got everything I needed out of this. Okay. Yeah. But no joy. I just, by the end I was just doing it because I'd been doing it. And so once you reach that point where just like, this is just feels more like an obligation

than something that I'm doing for either any sort of enjoyment or any sort of career advancement, I was like, I don't think I'm getting anything. You quit, in 2015 you quit, you wanted to focus on getting your presidential nominee elected president. Yeah, I had a lot of campaign work to do the next year. Mm-hmm. A lot of volunteering I was doing.

Trump folks, I'm saying he likes Trump. I'm lying, I'm lying that he likes Trump. But does he like Trump? I don't know, I don't know what a secret politics are. I don't know. Who knows what they are. I don't. We'll find out when this comes out afterwards.

I don't like anybody, that's the thing that just you're like, I don't like any of these people. What are you going to do? That to me is such a refreshing thing of I was watching an old, I was watching these old Celtics, like I think it was after they won the championship in like the 70s.

Yeah. And that was like, the news was like, people are lying in the streets like they used to only for politicians, but now they do for sports stars and movie stars. I was like this was a thing that they did for more so for politicians than for you know celebrities or people or athletes yeah you want to go see you know Eisenhower doing his whistle stop tour or whatever you know is like that's interesting that's interesting but but uh but it was

funny that everyone they interviewed was like I fucking take politicians and fucking rats and cr- I was like, that is like such a much better time than it is now where people are so much more like, I'm aligned with this guy and I'm aligned with that guy. Look, I am left and I'm a leftist. You would say you're the same thing. But it is that sort of thing of like, all these dummies used to just not care

about politics at all. It was so much, it was better. It was so much better. It's a lot harder to opt out of it though now cause it's just so omnipresent. Yeah. So one reason I'm off social media, except for I will say,

and Jess I can tell you this on the show, that I have a private Instagram account that I did just me and Natalie, my wife, you. Oh man, they're gonna find it. For following dogs. They're gonna find it. But one of the accounts we follow is your account. Really?

Yeah, yeah. I'm honored. It's so great. Oh my God, thank you. It's such a nice little cozy little corner of social media. But yeah, just watching your grooming videos. That's so nice. Your grooming videos are great. Thank you grooming videos. They're so nice, thank you.

Your grooming videos are great. Thank you so much. They're great, they're great. And to see a little dog plus up when they come in and then when you're done giving them the treatment, it's great, it's a blast, yeah. I love when you put like a little bow tie on them or whatever.

With Jemmy, that's, with a short hair, what did you say? It's important, like we pick the right one, like it's really, it's a big deal It's a great way to cap everything off and then I will find myself I'm I'm like just rewatching you giving like a like washing the same dog because it is just like a very soothing thing You know, it's I don't really get the ASMR thing myself But I understand the appeal of that just like the sounds of the images are really really calming

Yeah, I want to bring Jimmy in there But I'm afraid that I would, when you come back, Wags, after it was done, I'd be all groomed up and have a bow tie on. I'd do it. I groom Eric. Do you really? Yeah, me and I cut his hair.

Yeah, yeah. And he always looks good. I love that guy. I haven't done it in a while, though. I like him messy. It's cute. I love like a messy beard and a messy. He's a lovable man I think.

And he's always looking good. But here's the question. He's my best friend, my twin flame. My tiny baby. I love the both of you. Great people, nice people. But my question to you is, Eric and I, we can have hair going everywhere sometimes.

What do you do for Jimmy, a short-haired dog? Well, we start off with a blueberry facial, an Argon Oil face mask, which is very hydrating. Wow. Brush teeth, check the ears. Those blueberry facials. Wags and I are maybe slightly interested in this. Is it real blueberry?

No. Dogs can't have blueberries though. Oh, they can't have blueberries. All right, sorry, go on. Go on. Deep conditioner, which helps with shedding. Hell yeah. Check the anal glands. Of course. Trim nails and file them.

The anal gland is actually something we have learned to do at home out of necessity. Hers have expressed themselves a few times and inopportune moments. So when we go a long time to take groomings, I don't, but Mike will take care of it. Dr. Sharma expressed mine yesterday. Yes. Yours were very expressed.

Oh my god. That is a really good joke. Awesome. Sometimes you should be proud of your jokes sometimes. So often not. It's so cute. Oh, no, no. I don't want to hide often not. It's so cute. It's funny. No, no, I don't want to hide under my hat.

And then like maybe a splash of color on the tip of her tail would be so cute. She was saying we could dye her little white tip a color. And a very important accessory. That would be so cute. But like a D-shed. So a lot of people think short-haired dogs don't, can't get a spa day, but they can.

Oh, they absolutely can. She just doesn't need like a haircut. Like it doesn't need to be trimmed or anything. I'm gonna suggest something here. Could we on the Doughboyz dime, send Jemmy and get two together? Yes, we could film it. Oh, that'd be amazing.

We could do a special video. Oh my God. We should have a time for when this episode comes out. That'd be great. Uh oh, she's wondering what's going on. She's like, what the fuck? That is so nice, we're talking about you, friend. She's like, what the fuck? That is so nice. She probably would love that,

because usually when she gets groomed, I have to drop her off somewhere and leave for 45 minutes to an hour, because that's just how it is. Right. And so in this case, I get to come with you and it'd be great. Yeah, totally.

I love it. Can you get a picture of all of us, and I could put it on my Instagram too? Oh my God, of course. Like with the dog and everything? Yeah, I love it. This is perfect. That'd be so nice. It's gonna happen, this is fantastic. That'd be so nice. Maybe we'll go to Lemonade together, you and I could put it on my Instagram too. Like with the dog and everything. I love it. This is perfect. It's gonna happen.

This is fantastic. That'd be so nice. Maybe we'll go to Lemonade together. You and I will. Get the Mac. Yeah. Or a sandwich. I used to, I was with you.

I thought that Lemonade when it first opened, I did, I enjoyed it quite a bit. It was fun to get different salads and stuff like that. But it is one of those things that when it expanded, it's kind of gone downhill, unfortunately. But that location is cool. It's like a little cottage. It's cool.

Larchmont is like a nice little walkable stretch with a bunch of different shops. It's a good part of the city. Okay, so we're talking endive today for the Garden of Eden. Wow. Endive originated in Egypt and Indonesia that was most associated with Belgium because endives were brought to Europe in the 16th century.

And then the first Belgian endive was cross-bred and cultivated sometime in the 19th century. And the same family as the chicory plant. In fact, I learned that in the UK, apparently it is commonly just called chicory. And in Australia, and to our Australian listeners, hello down under, it's called Whitloff, which is Belgian for white leaf. It is a complex and labor intensive process to grow, requiring about 150 days in the soil, followed by about a month in cold storage.

So there's a lot of work to bring Endive to your table. But Jess, why did you wanna talk about Endive? This was your pitch. I feel like it's a very underrated vegetable. Yes. People don't think about it or talk about it. It's kind of rare, it's a little expensive, maybe a little bougie. Sure. But I like that it has a really nice mouthfeel. It's really crunchy and crisp, and

there's a little bitterness to it. Love the bitterness. Which is fun. Yeah, not a liability from my standpoint. I like the bitter quality. Me too. I like it too. I think it works. I mean where I experience it most is in a salad. Mixed in, either an endive salad or mixed in with other leafy greens. Sure. But I also am a fan. I like endives and I think it changes things up. I like the bitter taste.

I think it makes a good, it makes a salad deeper. It makes it, you know, you got contrast. Hey, I got some spring mix or whatever here and I got an endive or whatever, you know what I mean? Or I guess more so remain an endive, right? is like usually how it's mixed up depends on the construction I've also seen like a lot of times like a really simple like hey This is just and we're talking again about the the the Belgian endive We're talking about this kind of you have in front of us. We can't eat it. We're gonna we're gonna pass this around

It's a little bit wet. I'm sorry. No worries. We're gonna pass it around. Oh, I forgot we did this in the last episode. We hold them and smell them and... Yeah, we have to. Almost no smell to them. No smell. No, I mean, it is one that's, like a lot of these leafy vegetables is largely water.

It's fuzzy. I feel like I have it in the, yeah, there's a little bit of fuzz to it. I feel like I have the context. I yeah, there's a little bit of fuzz to it. It is, it's fuzzy. I feel like I have the, fiber. The context I will have it in is salad a lot of times is like an endive salad that'll be like endive, walnuts, and like blue cheese or something like that, and like a little, you know, vinaigrette.

Yes, that's okay. I'm so glad you said that because the first time I remember, the first time I fell in love with endive was when I had that salad. It was endive, blue cheese, the walnuts, like candied or like caramelized walnuts, and a sherry vinaigrette. And I was like, this is the best salad I've ever had. Like, what is this?

And ever since then, I've just been like such a fan of endive, exactly that salad. And I don't know how that, because I've seen that on multiple menus. And I don't know how that became just like a, you know, it's almost like a Cobb salad or something like that, or a Caesar salad. It's just like a prefab salad combo that people know

and that it ends up at a bunch of different places. But yeah, I saw that one rise to prominence. Yeah, it's so good. I mean, this plain, and I gotta say, got a nice taste to it. I'm not sure these have been washed, and I'm just gonna toss that out there. They're dripping wet.

They're dripping wet. Okay, cool. So, I'm really washed. It's so yum. You can do it instead of chips if you wanna be healthy. Like, instead of chips and dip. Yeah. It's got a. You can do it instead of chips if you wanna like be healthy, like instead of chips and dip. Yeah. It's got a good taste to it.

Wags, are you gonna take a bite? I guess so. I wasn't gonna, but I will. I mean, I'm in. The, here's a question for everyone, because we're talking about this with Amelia, who picked these endives up as I'm dripping all over my leg now.

So endives can be different colors, right? Can they be reddish? Yes, there are four different varietals as far as I was able to tell. There's the Belgian endive, which are these, which are also known as the white endive. There is the red endive, which is also known as radicchio, or some people say radicchio is just related to endive,

it's not technically the same thing. There's also escarole, which is broadleaf or a Batavian endive. And then there's frisee, which is almost like the little bird's nest of green julies sometimes. I do like a frisee a lot. I don't. You don't like a frisee?

No. Interesting. It's not easy to eat. It's like too fluffy. I don't like it. I think it's maybe contextual for me. Mitch, you like a frisee? I'm okay. I'm more, it's probably my least favorite of the bunch.

Yeah, me too. But still, I don't hate it. I don't dislike it. This one's not too bitter, this end dive. It's pretty nice. It's really mellow and nice. Yeah, it's really mellow, yeah. Why did Jemmy peace out?

Why did she get off the couch? Because Casey left. Oh, and she- The door opened and she was like, Jemmy the fuck outta here. Aw. I do feel like when Jemmy comes in, I said Emmy, I combined your names.

People combine our name all the time. Gemma, Jemmy, Emmy, it happens constantly. I should not be doing this, but when she comes in it's like. Yeah, be nice to Jamelia. Ha ha ha. Fucking, we gotta walk out in Casey, just walks out mid-record. We knew it was gonna happen, but yeah, he left.

Oh, all right, I thought it was some sort of fucking statement. No, he had a call, right? Yeah, and it's partially our fault, so it's okay. He's playing the game of NBA Jam in the background. Ha ha ha ha! But I feel like when Jemmy comes in here, it's like a hard hat, you know what I'm saying?

She's like coming to work. She's clocking in, yeah. Yeah, it's like, I make the donuts. Yeah, Allentown is playing in her head, you know what I mean? It just seems like, this is her, it's her job. I tell her every morning before we leave,

we go on our walk and I say, we're going to work today. And she gets her little wiggle and she sits by the door and she waits for me. So she's probably the most excited to come to this job, it sounds like. Yeah, and then she gets here and she's like, wait, what? I mean, to be fair, she comes and naps for a few hours. That's her job, so.

Kind of similar. Do other people bring their dogs here? Yeah, there's a couple other dogs that hang out every once in a while. Marty has a big pit bull named Delilah, who's just like the sweetest. She's an old lady now. She's I think deaf and blind, but she's so sweet.

She's so cute. She's very quick, yeah, very cute. But as far, if you're asking, do other, do guests bring dogs into the studio? We've not had that happen yet. No, we haven't. We should have. But we would be okay with it.

Should I have brought Meemoo? Next time. Choo-bee's, she's sweet too. Meemoo or Choo-bee, but Meemoo could sit on my lap. Wait, tell us about Meemoo, because we talked about Choo-bee. Meemoo or Chupie, but Meemoo could sit on my lap. Wait, tell us about Meemoo, because we talked about Chupie. Meemoo is just my fluffy man. He's a little poodle mix.

I just did this embark test where you could find out how old your dog is. Is he's also a rescue? No, he's a rescue. And I got him two years after Chupie, or like a year after Chupie. So I thought he was 13, but I just found out he's 13 and 11 months.

Wow. And his estimated birthday is next week. He's almost 14, I started crying, he's so old. See, I wanna do this for Jenny, but I am scared of exactly that, that it's gonna tell me she's actually older than I think she is. Well, it said it's within a year,

so I still think he's a 13-ish, but yeah, he's just a little sweet little rescue. What does Mimi like to eat? Anything. I mean, these dogs are beggars. Yeah. Yeah. It's like kind of embarrassing when like I had my aunt

over for dinner and they were just begging and it doesn't bother Eric and I, because you know, it's just, we live with them. But then when, you know, family comes over, I'm like, oh, sorry, but yeah, they'll eat anything, literally anything. Jenny is pretty picky about food. Really? She's gotten less picky partially

because we've taught her to be less picky because we were like, you're a dog, you should try this. But she, yeah, she's very weird about food. She like is not food motivated at all. Wow. She likes cheese. She loves cheese. She's a real freak for cheese.

Wally and Norma don't like human food. The most I've gotten them to do is to lick butter. Really? Yeah, they won't try to get any of my human food. It kind of makes me sad. Yeah. Because it's fun. No chicken or anything?

No, they won't do anything. Really? Interesting. It's a bummer. I want them to like it. My dad makes Jemmy a little piece of steak on Christmas every year. That's so nice. I want the fun idea of Wally little piece of steak on Christmas every year. That's so nice.

I love that. I want the fun idea of like Wally or I'm like stealing my steak or something. That's fun. It doesn't, they don't, they don't, they don't do it. Do you have dogs or cats or anything? No, no pets. No pets.

You gotta, you gotta find an apartment that, that permits it as part of that. We've never lived in a place where that was okay. But I love dogs. Big dog. Do you want one? I'm a dog dude. Yeah, I love dogs. I'd love to have a dog. Why not? I'm gonna rescue a little pooch. But it's just a matter dog, I'm a dog dude. Yeah, I love dogs. I'd love to have a dog.

Why not? I'm gonna rescue a little pooch. But it's just a matter of finding, we need a living situation that accommodated that and also like, you know. I got a pitch. Yeah. You coming next time, you Eric the dogs.

I would love that. Yeah. Wow. Full house. I would love that. To have us together. I love it. We can do like a doggy snack or whack with dog treats.

We can see which one's the dog's like the best. Dog month. I wanted to do- We already did it. We did it. Oh my God. We did dog dough bark fest. We did dog dough bark fest.

Where the hell was I? That's a great question. We have to redo it now. Yeah, I have to redo it. Well, to be clear, it was like we ate hot dogs all month. It was very stupid. I love hot, I mean, yeah, clear, it was like we ate hot dogs all month. It was very stupid. I mean, yeah, well. Monk Long salute to hot dogs and pet dogs.

We did do pets and pet dog content in the Patreon. What, did we watch fucking Beethoven or some bullshit? We probably watched Beethoven. That's cute. That's cute. Yeah. It's bad. The podcast sucks.

I think we had Nangle and Philby. We did, we had Nangle and Philby on. Okay, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you guys do your podcasts, do you ever not really have much to say any days? Yeah, every episode. Oh, really? No, really?

Yeah, we're just making it up as we go. Oh, so does that ever stress you out? Not really, just because we've done it enough. Yeah. And also, I will just say, I think one of my biggest talents is I'm a bullshitter. I can just sort of bloviate about whatever, even if I don't know what I'm talking about,

I'm trying to sound like I do. Wow. Oh my God. Amir, you just did a basketball. He's rooting against itself. It's just like all you Lakers fans. Yeah. Yeah. Again, it's June 6th, first day of the NBA finals when recording this.

Sure, who cares? Doesn't matter. I'm going away. Everyone gets it. I come in as prepared as Jemi. I shake my little butt, I come in, I got nothing in my head, and that's it. I have to take him for a walk around the block

to make sure he poops before we start. A little leech. I'm cleared out today, I've got nothing left. Wow. They really clear you out. And you know what, it is a good time to start. I took a probiotic. It's time to start anew,

try to get this gut going in a good way. Well, hey, that's our topic, endive. Super high in fiber. Yeah, it is. Great alternative to other things. Lot of vitamin K, which I forget is a vitamin, but it's like, yeah, it's a big vitamin. Great.

A big vitamin K storage. I like, we're talking about liking its bitterness. Here's a question for everybody. Do you say endive or on-dive? I say endive. I say endive. On-dive is what assholes say. I don't like the on-dive.

But Amelia was asking about on-dive earlier. On-dive, it's, I mean, I guess it's how, if you're in LA, I would say say endive. I think so, I think it's an endive thing. Yeah, if you're somewhere else, like in France, you can say endive. I wonder what they say in France. I think en d'iv.

Do they say en d'iv? Yeah. Yeah. En d'iv, I'm with you. Those French assholes, they're out of their mind. It's endive. If you're French, you should say en d'iv, because that's how you feel comfortable. All right, you should say endive. Yeah, yeah.

Because that's how you feel comfortable. All right, that's fair. Or be someone who speaks French. But if you're in the United States of America, you say endive. Endive. Okay, capiche? Did that sound judgy?

No, I think you're right. It did sound judgy, but I stand by that. I love everyone, but I hope I'm not too judgy on that. Yeah. I agree with you. Here's my question to you. Here's just real quick, Mitch. The fun thing about endivedeev is you can say,

yeah, on-deev nuts. Yeah. You can't really do that with Andy. On-deev nuts? How long were you holding onto that joke? A little bit. Holding onto, there's something else there. On-deev nuts?

Yeah. I mean, I like it. You're so excited. Did you think of the joke earlier on today? Yeah. Okay. That's so exciting that we were here to But I remembered to say it.

You did. That's the other part of it. So good. Yeah, you did great, Vox. You did so good. Here's my question to you. Yeah. I mean, we're gonna rank them,

but I'm not giving a fork score yet. Yeah. But- A solid fork score. A solid fork score. That's how we rank everything during this healthy month. What the fuck is it called again? Garden of Eden.

Garden of Eden. We'll figure it out. It's gonna be a longer title. Okay. But is this a top, I mean, we should have it so you can say the long title over and over again. We'll say we'll have it. We'll figure that out.

We'll record the intros later and then at the end of the intro, I'll say what the full title is. We'll figure it out. Endives or endives, are they a top tier veggie? Well this is the thing. They are very situational and I do really like them. And anytime I encounter them, I'm like, this is fun. And I was going to say, cause I was talking to-

Like a Dave Roberts, you know what I mean? The Red Sox brought in Dave Roberts and he stole a base during the World's, and then that led to the Red Sox coming back from down oh three in the ALCS. I don't know baseball, but I'll trust you. So it's like a situational player, you know what I mean? Like you pull it in for certain moments.

Right. But sometimes they can change everything. They can be great. That can be, you know what I mean? Like you pull it in for certain moments. Right. But sometimes they can change everything. They can be great. That can be huge. That can alter momentum. But I was going to say, I've eaten a lot of these on my own. I was talking with Natalie last night

and I was trying to go through the Endive archives and try to think of like great Endive. She's made a lot of really good Endive salads at home, but I myself never think to do it, even though we do cook at home a lot. But there's this one restaurant that's in San Francisco, and they had one at the Beverly Center in LA for a time that's closed, unfortunately, but the Engler,

great seafood restaurant from the Bay Area. But they have a vegetarian item, radicchio with radicchio XO sauce, which is like one of my favorite veggie dishes ever. And it's just like a big ass hunk of radicchio with this just delicious sauce. And you get a big ass fucking like steak knife to carve through it.

And it was absolutely like, it was one of those things you look at and he's like, what am I eating here? And then you start eating, he's like, this is one of the most delicious things I've ever had. It's a pretty, it felt like a magic trick. Sounds so good. I would love that. And so a pretty, it felt like a magic trick. Sounds so good. I would love that.

And so like the existence of things like that, of like people who really know how to use this ingredient to know how to weaponize it have like, you know, they're really doing something. That's the magic of it. But I'm not gonna have an endive salad every day in the same way that I might have like, you know, just whatever bag full of mescaline greens.

You know what I mean? Yes, of course. But also, I don't know. When I think about of mescaline greens. You know what I mean? Yes, of course, but also, I don't know. Then when I think about having mescaline greens, I'm like, I'd much rather have this. This is more fun, yeah. But you were right about the expense. It's something that's a little bit more of a price premium and it's something that's a little bit less available.

I don't think you're gonna find just like a bag of Endive. Maybe you will. Trader Joe's has them. Do they really? Yeah. Wow, okay. Bags of, I mean they're like, yeah. That's what I know. Like, yeah, but not all the time.

My thought too is also, I do like endives with other lettuces too, like I said before. Like I know I do like an endive salad, but that is also like a special thing. If you're like, if you're doing day to day stuff, you know what I mean? I think that why you're saying it's a situational player. It's like a thing where you,

when you bring them in for a certain thing or a nice appetizer or anything while you're saying it's a situational player, it's like a thing where when you bring them in for a certain thing or a nice appetizer or anything like that. But it's very good. I think it's a very good leaf when we're talking about leaves. And this is probably the only leaf we'll be talking about this whole month.

Are you sure? I think so. We talked broccoli. Broccoli and what other ones have you done? We, that's it. This is number two. This is the second. Oh, but you don't know what people are gonna bring in. Yeah, we might do some, we might do more leaves.

I don't know. I would not be shocked if we did more leaves. We don't wanna spend the whole month talking about leaves. Well, let me look at the spreadsheet. Next week we're discussing leaves. No. Mitch! No. I think this is, I think this is maybe

the one representative of the leaf. I think so. I think there's a good chance we'll get another leaf. All right, whatever. We're not gonna, we're just not gonna come to a conclusion on this. Or agreement. Well, like, we're gonna, like, let's say, cause we've got, we got five Thursdays this month, so we're doing it five times.

All right, we might see one more leaf. We'll see at least one more leaf. I feel pretty confident. Cause if we weren't, we're gonna be like, what, we're gonna be like snap peas, green beans, asparagus. I guess if that was the, that rounded out the roster, then we wouldn't have. Onion.

Oh, onion. That'd be a good one. Onion's a good one. Onion might be my king of the veggies. I love onion. Onion is, onion is my f. You're king of the veggies. King of the, yeah, yeah, onion.

Onion is way up there. It's interesting, cause I like onion a lot. It's a great ingredient, but like I'm rarely just eating onion on its own. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, in fact, I'm never eating onion on its own. Never. You know, I mean like in fact I'm never eating onion. Never. Are you eating endive on its own?

I mean we were earlier. No, but I mean like as the focus of a dish is what more I mean, as the centerpiece of a dish. Onion rings? Yeah, but I mean that's not exactly what we mean by veggie month. Yeah, that's true. But onion rings are really good. They're really good.

We love onion rings. They're great. I'm going to eat a nice big lunch after this. I know, I am getting myself hungry. Yeah. That was really- What's your typical, because you mentioned going to Lemonade,

what is your typical like workday lunch? Is it always just something in the neighborhood? Oh my God, it's all over the place. Yeah, it's usually something in the neighborhood. I don't know. I usually eat breakfast so late that I'm not hungry for lunch. Interesting.

Yeah. Like today. Like do you eat it basically just before you're going in to work? Yeah, really. Wow. What would be your favorite breakfast? What's your favorite breakfast?

Eggs, I love eggs, some kind of eggs. Yesterday I ate at Great White. Have you guys been there? Oh yeah, wait. Great White Hut? No, it's just called Great White. Oh, okay. It's on, they have a couple locations in LA,

but they have one down the street from my shop. And so I get the Great White Brekkie. And so I just had that. It's like- Oh, it's an Australian place, yeah. And it's, I just get like a big thing of sourdough with like eggs. It's just so yum.

Like eggs, avocado, and bread. I think Natalie has an egg in it. It's an Australian place? Yeah, it is, yeah. And did you get that because it was Brekkie? No, but I remember it because Great White, Brekkie, those are both like, you know, Brekkie is like the, it's not an American thing to say.

And then Great White, it sounds sharky. And then I was remembering, I think Natalie's gotten it. So yeah, I think it's an Australian place. It's yum, I recommend. I'm a huge egg fan, but I'm also, I'm the other way around. Well, I'll do lunch and not breakfast most of the time. I gotta do my breakfast.

I gotta have a breakfast. What do you have usually? Well, I will have eggs a lot, but today I had myself a, I do yogurt a lot. So I had some farmers market strawberries, farmers market nectarines, chop them some bitches up and then scoop some full fat yogurt onto it. And then do a little Peter North,

some honey over the top of it, just a little drizzle. And that's a really fun regular breakfast for me. You know what I saw on TikTok that you'd probably love is to cut a papaya in half. Have you seen this? You cut a papaya in half and you fill it with yogurt and then you put a little honey on top and then granola and then more honey

and just like a scoop. Yeah. Sounds good. Wow, I'm into that. Yeah. Victor had papaya yesterday, no big deal, just letting you know he had some papaya. Wow.

Victor had papaya yesterday. No big deal. Just letting you know. He had some papaya. Wow. You know, Mitch, most Americans think they spend about $62 per month on subscriptions. But get this, the real number is closer to $300! That is literally thousands of dollars a year, Wags, half of which we've probably forgotten about. Thankfully, we started using Rocket Money. Rocket Money. They found a bunch of subscriptions we'd forgotten all about and helped us cancel the ones we didn't want anymore.

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slash Doughboys. Rules and restrictions may apply. Thanks nerd. Look, I think that we have to give our final thoughts on endives or endives or endive nuts. I think you said no, it's endive or on-dives on-dives nuts. That's okay. Well, whatever it was, we have to give our final thoughts here, Wags.

It's time to wrap up the on-dive, end-dive talk. Yeah, we talked about it for about 10 minutes, so we're good. Yeah. It's crunchy, it can be bitter, it's good. It is, yeah. It's good, it's different. Refreshing, weirdly.

It's refreshing. Sus gets the end-dive salad when we go on our little walks, we stop at Little Dom's, he does the end-dive salad a lot. Lot of fun. It's good, it switches things up into boring, oftentimes we're eating boring lunches when we're not eating for the show. That's what I was gonna say.

I feel like, cause you were talking about your, your work day lunch and I feel like, yes, I try to, if I have, I like, I just need nutrition. Those are times when I'm like, I'm just gonna make this meal boring. Yeah. So like, like, cause we eat a lot for fun and I eat a lot for fun in general

and also just like eating bad food is like a psychological crush for me. But when I'm just like, I just need fuel right now, I try to eat a little bit healthier. This I feel like though is more fun than that. Like it's not just like, it's not pure, you know, raw nutrition. I don't know.

I agree, I agree. You ever have like an endive and it's like an app or like an amuse-bouche that's got like a leaf with like some shit on it? Yes. That's a lot of fun. You're saying like a taco basically. Yeah, basically it's like yeah. Or like a boat.

Cause it's pretty substantial. Like you do celery but you fill them. That's how my dad makes endive salad. He like covers them in olive oil I think and fills them with like pomegranate seeds and like some feta I think's in there. Some nuts. That sounds so yum.

Yeah that's a hit. It's just like a little boat that you just like eat like a taco. I gotta take. So good. And I've adult celery. What do you think of that? Mitch I think that's great.

Yes, I hate celery. You hate celery. Yeah, I hate it. Like hate it. Hate it. You don't like even with something spread on you with like a cream cheese or like a peanut butter. If it's very finely chopped in like a tuna salad or something I'm fine. But hate it. Hate it. Like even with something spread on it, even with like a cream cheese or like a peanut butter. If it's very finely chopped in like a tuna salad

or something, I'm fine, but I will not eat celery. It's disgusting. Why do you have such aversion to it? It's just gross. It's stringy. I hate the flavor. I've tried celery juice, disgusting. Yeah.

It is stringy. I hate it. I just hate it. It is one of the good ones though. I mean, just because it's basically nothing. It's like water. Especially like ants on a log with like peanut butter and raisins.

Just so gross. Let's see, but this is ants on a log with like peanut butter and raisins, just so gross. Let's see, but this is the adult celery. Yeah, it's the adult celery, cause I mean, I do love endive. Grow the fuck up. We're eating ants on a log. Grow the fuck up, get an endive for Christ sakes. Oh my god, you're really angry, are you okay?

I'm pissed off at these fucking listeners who are, they gotta grow up. Oh my god. Daddy, can I have an endive? No, get fucking grow up. Grow up. Get an endive. Have some celery, you little shit.

Grow some pubes and come back to me. Mom, dad keeps telling me to grow pubes. Who was this kid that was talking to you? This little fucking kid? Leave me alone. He's calling you daddy? Yeah. All right, so Jess, here's how this will work.

We're each gonna go around. We're gonna give our closing argument on End Dive and end that by giving it zero to five salad forks. So five is the most. And at the end, collectively, we're going to give this a green thumbs up or a green thumbs down. But first we will do our individual scores.

Your thoughts on End Dive, your fork score, your salad fork score. I would give it a five. Five salad forks, the first five salad fork of the month. Wow. This is huge. Yeah, I'm a fan. Yeah. It took me no time to decide on which vegetable to use.

I knew instantly. I'm a fan. Wow. Yeah. No, we noted your prompt reply. Oh really? Yeah. I love it. Well, cause also we've had-

I'm efficient. We have guests sometimes who are just like, I don't know, I'll talk about whatever, but you're like, no, end dive. End dive, I knew it immediately. I loved that, I did love that about your reply because a lot of people were like, what the fuck is this month?

What are you talking about? We have to pick a vegetable and you're like- Who are these guests? Do they not have gratitude? That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a good point. I guess you need to have more gratitude. I'm so grateful to be here.

I adore you guys. I adore you guys. This is so cool. Yeah, you know what? A lot of more people should act that way. I think a lot of people don't care and don't think it's cool. I mean, this is pure joy.

Look at this cutie pie dog. Come on, come on. Sorry, I can give my- You're such a sweetie. Here's the deal. So we've reviewed one vegetable so far, it was broccoli. Yeah. And now I like broccoli, we both like broccoli.

I like broccoli. And I gave broccoli a score of three salad forks. I actually eat broccoli more than I eat endive, but do I like endive more than I like broccoli? I think yes. I think the answer is yes. I like endive more than I like broccoli. I do like broccoli when it's prepared or broiled.

We talked about why, because when you put it in the oven, it can be an add a lot of things to it, but basically if you, if you're just talking about the vegetable, if I had a raw broccoli and a raw endive, I like the raw endive better and also when you're splurged up in a salad, it's very good. That blue cheese and the vinaigrette thing you were talking about. That sounds fantastic. I would have loved that. Um, I think it is a classy sounds fantastic. I would have loved that.

I think it is a classy veggie. I think it is a little bit more expensive, like you were saying, maybe it is like a, maybe some call this a snobbish, some people may think this is a snobby veggie. I don't think so. I don't think any veggie is really snobby, do you? But I mean like, this is like- No, not really.

Maybe like a little bougie. Yeah, I think that's the word. That's the word. It's like a bougie, it Yeah, I think that's the word. There we go, that's the word. It's like a bougie, it's a bougie, on the bougier side of veggies. But look, I like it. And if you don't like it, you can endeeves nuts. You did a good job, it worked.

It's on-deeves. On-deeves nuts. Fuck, you can on-deeves nuts. Yeah. You can on-dee nuts. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You can on Deev's, Emma, just please, just, just split, just edit this together so I sound cool. You got it. I'm going, I'm going for, I'm going for salad forks.

Wow. So it has a chance to be in. We, this is, I mean, there's no, that we haven't created a club for. Yeah, because of your three that we didn't get, and I don't think it was just you, but we did. It can enter the Garden of Eden. How's that? Hmm, but we're in the Garden of Eden. Oh, God damn it.

So what happened to be a special section of the Garden of Eden? Yes, like a plant, a section, um, a raised bed. Yeah. I like that. The, in the, in the raised bed club, that's good. Into Eve's Bayou? You, you just clearly didn't like the raised bed. I like that. In the raised bed club, that's good. Into Eve's Bayou? You clearly didn't like the raised- I like raised bed. Eve's Bayou?

I'm starting to come up with a name for the raised bed. Well, like being in the Garden of Eden is like- The Garden of Eaton. I hate you so much. You're in the Garden of Eaton. Adam and Eve are there. Original sin, you got that serpent, there's all sorts of specifics to work with.

There's plenty, you got Almighty God up there, the Old Testament God, the wrathful God of Moses. I don't know that much. The Adam and Eve club, I don't know. Adam and Eve club is pretty good, Adam and Eve's, because we talked about the bed, their boudoir. Yeah, let's just say the raised bed.

All right, we want to run a raised bed club. What make the raised bed club? Here's the thing. I don't like endive more than I like broccoli. I would rather, like to me, broccoli is just- The green goddess club. Green goddess club is good. Oh, I like that. That is really good goddess club is good. Oh, I like that.

That is really good. Pretty good. Good job. Thank you. I like that. All right. I don't want to clap for you so much. This was the third beat. Just want to be supportive.

You did a really good job. I don't like it as much as I like broccoli, but I do like it quite a bit. And I like that we're covering it. I love that you're passionate about it because I'm just like, I would not have thought that we were gonna do an episode about End Dive this month of all the vegetables,

but I really, really, it's given me more appreciation for it just thinking about that and interrogating my relationship with this vegetable. You brought up a great point, Mitch, and I was gonna say this anyway. Raw? We're talking raw? We're making this a raw dog?

This is superior to broccoli. Like raw broccoli, I don't ever want. There's no situation where raw broccoli is working for me. Raw endive all the time, yeah. Maybe that might actually be his best form. And they've had all sorts of different endive executions. I feel like because of its texture and because of its unique flavor, it allows for a lot of variation in terms of what you can do with it as an ingredient.

So from that standpoint, I do believe this belongs on the raised bed up in the Green Goddess Club. I'm gonna go for salad forks for Endive. So congratulations to Endive. You're the first member of the Green Goddess Club up on the raised bed over in Ysba'u. Up on the raised bed.

Wow, do I win anything or how does that work? Yeah, you can take the End Dive home. Yeah, you get the End Dive. Yay! Amazing. Wow, and I think it goes without saying, but this gets a green thumbs up from everyone. Oh yes, we also have to give it a green thumbs up.

I think it gets green thumbs up. Yeah, green thumbs up for sure. Wow, hey, that was our review of Endive here in the Garden of Eden. It's time for a segment. This is Chew Truths and a Fry Veggie Edition. Wow. This is compiled by Amelia.

This is two truths and a lie where Mitch and Jess must guess which fact is fiction, which food fact is fiction. The lie will be in red, that's a note for me. So I'm going to read a name of a vegetable or a name of any sort of, yeah, I think these are all vegetables. I'm going to read the name of a vegetable and then it will read three facts and one of those is a lie and you can buzz in with your name and identify the lie.

One of them is a fry, I guess, according to this game. Yeah, one of them is a fry. Okay. What do you mean buzz in with your name? I mean, honestly, like you can just say your name and say like, you know, say Jess, and then I will call on you. Okay.

Yeah, but also you can just take turns. Let's just take turns. Okay. Okay. All right, first up. Why? We can buzz in with our name. You have to read all of them before anyone can buzz anyway.

Right? Oh, okay. Because there's multiple options. And I guess you can both choose the same one if you want, but I don't know, you can also buzz in. I will figure it out. Look, let me just read this first one. First up, cucumbers.

Okay. Cucumbers is the topic. Here are the two truths and a fry. Or I'm sorry, two truths and a fry. Good, thank you. A, cucumbers can reduce puffiness and skin irritation. B, the name cucumber comes from from the Latin word, cucumus. C, cucumbers are about 50% water.

I mean, I think I know the lie. I think I know the lie as well. Jess, go ahead. B. Mitch, what do you think? I also think B. You're both wrong. This is a little tricky.

It's C. It's C. Because they're actually 95% wrong. Oh, wow. Cucumus is real? Cucumus is real apparently. Cucumus. Cucumus, that sounds insane.

Yeah. Sounds like a weird dog name. Cucumus. Sounds like the guy you wouldn't want to see in the Roman Senate. Oh, fuck, Cucumus is here. Cucumus is here. Hey. From the fucking filibuster.

A dog named Cucumber would be pretty cute. That is. I love food names. That is a cute dog name. That's a cute dog name. Next up, peas. Okay. Peas is the topic.

I knew that the first, I knew A was true by the way, because people put the cucumbers on their apples. It's true. Mm-hmm. The chewed truths in a fry are, A, the English believed peas were good luck and could cure warts. If you rub the pea on your wart and toss it over your shoulder,

it would cure the wart. B, the expression mining your peas and cues originates from the mid 19th century and is said to have meant peas and quince the fruit. C, peas are part of the legume family. I think I know the lie. This is funny to me because it's two very specific ones. My thought is, well, what do you think?

I think B is the lie. Interesting, I thought it was C. Oh, C? The part of the legumes, but maybe not. But mind your peas and cues, I don't know what the- It just doesn't sound, peas and cues, I don't know what that is. It just doesn't sound, P's and Q's, I don't know. But it was so specific. They're doing a good job if it's not.

Well, why is we're gonna go, I'm gonna go C and Jess is gonna go B. Jess is gonna take it because that one is made up. That is a fry. The origin of the expression P's and Q's is not known, although the most common thought is that it is rumored to mean please and thank yous. So it is a little bit.

I won. I guess that was like kind of the easy one that I just. You lost. Yeah, I lost. Yeah, you get it wrong. My dad used to say mind your P's and Q's as I was like leaving the house to go to like a friend's house, so I was like, he'd be like mind your P's and Q's.

Aw. Yeah. Be polite. Yeah. I like that. That's what I knew it as, but I thought I could have this weird fucking origin Good job by Amelia. She tricked me next up. Are you happy you tricked me? You fucking tricked me. She's thrilled cauliflower Hey the green variety of cauliflower that develops spiky curds is known as brocco flower because it looks like broccoli

B a half cup of cooked cauliflower contains 30 calories and accounts for 90% of your daily vitamin C. C, cauliflower can come in four colors, white, purple, green, and teal. I think I know. What was B? Can you read B again? Sorry.

Half a cup of cooked cauliflower contains 30 calories and accounts for 90% of your daily value vitamin C. What do you think, Jess? Oh, shit. I mean, you think Jess? Oh shit. I mean, I think C is a lie. Jess says C. I feel like the C is being tricky. But now I'm wondering about B.

Can you say it one more time? B? Yeah. Half a cup of cooked cauliflower contains 30 calories and accounts for 90% of your daily value vitamin C. I don't know if it has that much vitamin C in it. It's a lot of vitamin C. It's the only 30 calories and accounts for 90% of your daily value vitamin C. I don't know if it has that much vitamin C in it. It's a lot of vitamin C. It's the only 30 calories I get, but the vitamin C I don't think. Yeah.

But then I've never seen a teal cauliflower. That's how I felt too. I'm almost with you with C. I've seen like the green ones with the spiky. I know that's B or C. I don't know. What do you think, Mitch? I'm going to go with you with C. Yes, you are both correct. It is C. There. I don't know. What do you think Mitch? I'm gonna go with you with C. Yes you are both correct. It is C. Wow.

There is no teal cauliflower. However, there's orange cauliflower. And you may remember Mitch that from last week that broccoli similarly is a huge source of vitamin C. Oh I didn't realize I had that much vitamin C. And cauliflower and broccoli are the same family, right? Yeah, the same family, yeah. Do I remember that from last week?

No. I don't fucking remember that. I don't. Wow. Do I remember that from last week? No. No. I don't fucking remember that. I don't remember the factoids you gave about broccoli last week. We're up to zucchini. Zucchini is next. Wow.

Shit, we're in it. The first record of zucchinis in America dates back to the early 1800s. B, the world's largest zucchini was 69 and a half inches long and weighed 65 pounds. C, a zucchini has more potassium than a banana. I'm gonna say, oh sorry. I think I got it. You can go, yeah, yeah. I have my answer. I think the lie is A. I think the lie is B.

Jess is correct. Oh my God. Zucchinis did not come to the US until Italians brought it in the early 1920s. Oh my god. Mario and his family. They brought it from World Wags. Help me out here. You did it.

And scenes. Yeah, this is the third beat. They brought it from the Donut Plains. It's a quickie. Yeah, it's a quickie. It's a quickie. It's supposed to be quick and good. Just knock it out. Bring the lights planes. You didn't really need to, it's a quickie. Yeah, it's a quickie. It's a quickie. It's supposed to be quick and good. Just knock it out, bring the lights down.

Yeah. It was 69 and a half inches, I was like, nice try Amelia, 69 inches. That's the kind of jokes you would make too. I know, so it got me. You're kicking my ass. You're up to- Three to one.

Next up, eggplant. A, eggplants are botanically classified as berries. B, all parts of an eggplant are safe to eat, including its leaves and flowers. C, for centuries, eggplants were believed to cause insanity and leprosy. A, are they berries? B, is every part safe to eat?

C, did eggplants cause insanity and leprosy according to our last days? Oh my God, this one's really hard. I think it's either A or B. It's, yeah. I'm gonna go, A is false. Mitch says A. Mitch says A.

I'm gonna say, the C one was the leprosy? Yes. I'm gonna say C, I don't know. I really have no idea. It's B. You are both wrong. It is B. It's B. All parts of an eggplant are not safe to eat. Oh.

Its leaves and flowers are considered toxic. So yeah, beware. Wow. I didn't know that. Me neither. Fuck. Yeah. Do you remember the eggplant wizard from Kid Icarus? That was a cool anime.

Well, now we're getting into a different game. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying, like, do you remember that? Yeah, of course I remember. It ruled. Yeah, that's cool. All right, now we're getting into a different game. Yeah, I know. I'm just saying. Do you remember that? Yeah, of course I remember. It ruled. Yeah, that's cool. All right, next up, potatoes.

It ruled. Oh man, I'm going to bring ruled back. Unless you already did. You just did. Yeah, that was me. Yeah, yeah, it rules. It rules. Potatoes, Mitch, you may have home court here.

A, potatoes were a staple food in the Inca civilization. B, there are 50 known varieties of potatoes. Or C, China is the largest producer of potatoes in the world. Yeah, okay, great. I got the home field advantage. I don't fucking know the answer to this. I don't know at all. It's insane.

This is the hardest one. I'm gonna say C is false. Is a lie. C was China's largest producer of potatoes in the world. And then what were the other two? Potatoes were a staple food in the Inca civilization. There are 50 known varieties of potatoes. A is false.

I don't believe the Incas had it as food. Mitch, you are incorrect. Jess, you are also incorrect. It's, there's the number thing. This is Amelia getting tricky. There are 4,000 known varieties of potatoes. 4,000 known varieties of potatoes. Good Lord.

And China produces over 95 million metric tons of potatoes a year, which is 25% of the global consumption. Next up. Potatoes, my people died because of the potatoes wags. We lost potatoes. Came from the new world. They came to the new world because of it. I'm here.

No, potatoes came from the new world. Oh. Yeah. I'm here because of potatoes. That's true. It's the truth. My people left for potatoes. That's the truth.

That's true. Well, you got some fucking smart- Well, people stick around. There aren't going to be any more potatoes. That's the truth. That's true. Well, you got some fucking smart- People stick around, there aren't gonna be any more potatoes. Global shortage. The Mitchells aren't eating up the world supply of potatoes. There's 50,000, what, how many numbers? 4,000. 4,000, sorry, 4,000 varieties, and you're gonna be fine.

Next up, kale. A, ancient Greeks ate boiled kale as a cure for intoxication. B, kale is one of the least pesticide contaminated vegetables. C, kale has more calcium than milk. Jesus. This is so hard.

These are all hard. These are challenging questions. Let's say A is a lie. Which, which? It's the boiling it down. Ancient Greeks ate boiled kale as a cure for intoxication. Um, let's say A is a lie. Which, which? It's the boiling it down. Ancient Greeks ate poiled kale as a cure for intoxication. When was B?

It was between A and B. Kale is one of the least pesticide contaminated vegetables. Pesticide contaminated? That's such a weird. I don't know. I'm gonna go with A. I think it is A. I don't know.

It's B. We're wrong. The fry is B. God damn. Kale is one of the most pesticide contaminated vegetables apparently. Oh. I don't know what It's B. The fry is B. God damn. Kale is one of the most pesticide contaminated vegetables apparently. Oh. I don't know what the source is on that.

I'm surprised that kale has more calcium than milk. That's good to know. Yeah, that's great. I don't like kale. I need it to be cooked. Oh, I like kale. Kale is a- But you like it cooked?

I like it cooked. It just hurts my, I said this last week, it hurts my tummy too much. If it's raw? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel like that's the way you get it a lot in LA, is just raw kale. Raw kale.

Massage that bad boy. Yeah. Pull it out of a salad, that's where I get it, is some sort of salad that's pre-made, or not pre-made, but made like a sweet greens or something. This doesn't work for me. Finally, one question left about spinach. All right.

A, spinach can decrease your risk of developing kidney stones. B, spinach is botanically in the same family as beets. C, in Australia, it is illegal to name your kids spinach. I mean- Obviously it's A or B, no, I'm just kidding. It seems like C is the answer. Thank God, it's C.

Look, I don't have a source on this. Apparently that is true. You cannot name your kid spinach in Australia. That's not true. That's ridiculous. If Amelia's here, we can bring her in here and she can explain herself. She is not here.

She's down the street. Okay. Also, by the way. This is one of those ones. This is another trick we're going, go ahead. You couldn't even just said like, spinach is the favorite food of Popeye. It could have been like,

you know, we could have done some of these and given us something. Nice to have a gimme, yeah. I get what you're saying. That's a fair note. Apparently it is true. It is also illegal in Australia to name your kid LOL, Batman, snort, Hitler, panties, or blank space.

So this was some kid, some like- What the hell? Some like millennial was like, let's name our kid something funny, and then the judge threw it out. And it became O-egal? Yeah. That's funny.

Okay, I'm blaming millennials, but who fucking knows? Anyway, the, those damn millennials. Anyway, spinach can decrease your risk of developing kidney stones is the lie because it actually can increase your risk of developing kidney stones. Oh my God. Because it's high in calcium and oxalates.

How about that? I'll never, because I'm a man who's gotten kidney stones. I've told you this. Yeah. Horrible. Sounds, yeah. I mean, it sounds so painful. Sounds really unpleasant. I remember Hanford, I've told you this. Yeah. Horrible. Sounds, yeah, I mean it sounds so painful. Sounds really unpleasant.

I remember Hanford, I got one, Hanford and I were about to go, I think for Dave Ferguson's bachelor party, I mean I shouldn't tell this story. I've heard the story. You know what happened. It sounds horrible. I said to Hanford, I said, I have a kidney stone, do you mind, I'm gonna go and shower and masturbate.

And Hanford was like. Wait, the story you told me was... Does that help it? The story you told me was Dutton. It was Hanford? I think it was Hanford. So I think I did fuck up saying Dutton. It was Hanford. It would help me. And so Hanford was like, yeah, sure. And he was in the other room. I went into the fucking shower and I jacked it. I had to.

This was not at your apartment It was it was at my apartment. Oh, this is at your apartment. Yeah, was that my apartment with the story I heard did you do this more than once cuz I thought you I thought you told me about the having to the birthday boy I can't believe we did it twice and you told me the other story. I told you the other story. Aren't you in so much pain? You're in so much pain and it was so hard to pass it and then sometimes if you- Does that pass with your pee?

Or no? It does, but then also- So here's the truth. The one I told Weigar, it was during a birthday boy's party. And I was like, there was a party going on and that door didn't close and I was like, dude, I'm passing a kidney stone. Can you stand out front? I might have to try to masturbate in your bathroom.

And he was like, I know that this sounds such like a creep thing. No, I couldn't believe it. No, it just sounds like, I didn't know. It's legit. Kidney stone along. It helps the kidney stone move along. Isn't it, aren't you in so much pain?

You are in a lot of pain, but that's the thing. It's like that sort of thing of like, it like helps move it through. So like, that's what I, and so like, that's what I found. For me, it worked a couple times when I... A couple times? For when I... You've had many?

I've had like, I've probably had, I've said it before, but like probably all together are like 10 to 12 kidney stones. Brutal. I haven't had them in forever? Yeah, so you can't eat spinach so I can't eat spinach I guess apparently but I think probably on in general spinach is a net positive for yeah Yeah, yes, exactly. Yeah, but that was that was something that I was like I was like trying to like it feels like there's something stuck in there Yeah I was like trying to like, it feels like there's something stuck in there. Yeah. Oh my God. And I passed one at, and I didn't, I got one at Coachella when me and Armin and Harris went to Coachella. And I remember like I was in the back of his car. I was like, just don't talk to me.

Like I was like trying to focus. And then this was a long time ago. So it was a long time ago. Yeah. I was like, that was like, that was like honestly one of the last ones, but like, yeah, Hanford was with me and I I said, do you mind, I'm gonna go into the, I closed a couple of doors and I went into the shower and I had a- And you were fine afterwards? And I was, and it was, cause we also had to have, the ride was like three hours or something.

You know what I mean? It was like, it was Palm Springs, so maybe two hours or something. I don't know how long it was. Wait, this is a different, but the Hanford thing was different. The Hanford thing was, was me going to- Wow.

Ferguson's bachelor party. Got it, yeah. And it was like, we had a long ride. And so I was like, I can't, this is so bad. Look. I just watched KC walk by, I can't believe he missed all of this. Good for him.

That's crazy. That's insane. They should have done the colonoscopy the other way, like you were saying. It would have been good to see. Would have been a short trip. Jess wins this- You didn't respond to that.

I said it would have been a short trip, Max. Yeah, I liked it. Jess wins two truths and a fry, veggie edition. Just like a restaurant, value your feedback. Let's open the feedback. Today's emails from Alex W. Alex writes, if you could swap the sizes of two foods forever, what would you choose?

Wow. For example, donut-sized Apple Jacks slash Apple Jacks sized donuts, the cereal, or toast-sized ravioli slash ravioli-sized toast. Let me know, love you. Wow. Okay, we're doing a swap, but a swap is size. I just can't just also be clear that this is the thing. Normally I would, like, if I was're doing a swap, but Be clear that this is the thing

Normally, I would like if I had was gonna pass a kidney stone here. I would go home I'm not gonna go into the headgum bathroom and fucking jack off Amir's guarding the door for you Yes, thank you At the party yeah, I probably should have gone home the time with Dutton. But it was a big party. I wanted to stay. Yeah, Dutton's a bro. He'll guard that door for you.

Fuck yeah. He probably took a little peek, I'm sure. This is a great question. I have, Anfer probably took a little peek too. Who knows? I'm sure. He can take a peek. Yeah, come on.

I'm sure they're taking a peek. I'm going to swap the sizes of corn and, wait, oh no. Shit, I fucked up. I'm going they're taking a peek. I'm gonna swap the sizes of corn and, wait, oh no, shit. I fucked up. I'm gonna swap. Are you gonna say corn and baby corn? I was gonna say pickles and cornichons, because I fucked up again. I mean, that would be funny to change pickles

and cornichons, right? Cornichon, weird word. Weird word. It should be baby corn. Yeah. It means like horn, Cornishon. Yeah. He's back.

Casey is rejoining the podcast as we- He didn't get the job at Mark Maron's. Yeah, sorry. Aw. He had trouble locking the gate? Next time. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't find the keys. Casey had to take a call,

he was interviewing to be on a better podcast. The, you missed a, I won't make Mitch retell it, but you missed a bit of his story. You missed a Kidney Stone story. Great. A lot of talk about masturbation. You don't have to retell it. I had a Kidney Stone come in,

I told Hanford I gotta go jack off in the shower while he waited in the other room. That's the truth. And then there was a different story I told Dutton. Okay, so you didn't miss it. All right. Sorry. Sorry you're here for this.

At a party, the bathroom door wouldn't close, so he had Dutton guard the door so he could jack off in the bathroom. Into the toilet. A bunch of people out there celebrating. For medical reasons. For medical reasons. For medical reasons.

Sure, sure. A medical procedure. Into the toilet, not into the shower or anything like that. I was being polite. Ah. I just have such a vivid mental picture. Oh no, that's the worst. I'm sorry to everyone. I'm sorry to everyone. Well, because when you describe something, you have to visualize it.

I do. I got the whole picture in my mind. No, no, everyone, please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone. Well, cause like when you describe something, you have to visualize it. Yeah, exactly. I got the whole picture of my mind. No, no, everyone please. If I had a MIB mind eraser, I'd use it right now.

I'm sorry everyone. It is, medically it's what I have done a few times. And luckily, knock on wood, I almost knocked my fruit over. But I don't... You knocked over the Burger Boy! What the fuck? You knocked over Deer Jerk's Burger Boy etching. Knock on wood, there we go.

Go! You got it. There might have been an earthquake, I don't know if I did all that. It's pretty good. This is great. It's great. Deer Jerk did a great job. I have one of mine's hanging up in my home.

Yeah. And it's, I'm gonna turn, I'm gonna have a Tiki deck. How fun is it? Yeah. Tiki bar, not January 6th Tiki themed. But I, look, I haven't had one since. So I am, since I think Coachella. Yeah. And I hope to never have one again.

It's the worst. I, I, I said this before, but I, I got a kidney stone and Harris threw his back out at Coachella, which made us feel that's right. And we were like 30 at the time. We weren't even that old. Right. But you know. Bitch, I've had two kidney stones.

They're the worst. They fucking suck. They're the worst. Hey, I got, I got, there's something you could do if you get one next time. So many men are gonna be. Oh yeah. So many men are gonna try this and think of you.

You might get some feedback. Honestly, if this leads to men doing that to get through their kidney stones, I'd be happy. Cause it is, it works for me. You're helping people maybe. I'm helping people out. Our listeners just eating fistfuls of spinach trying to get a kidney stone.

No. Oh my God. You can't. You gotta do it. You can do it without getting a kidney stone. Whatever. That's better though. Yeah.

Okay, so we're swapping the sizes of two foods forever. Now I like where Alex W's head is at with taking like a small circular cereal and then making that like the donut size. Like that sounds fun and vice versa, I'm into that. But we gotta do a two-way swap. So it's two different food stuffs. One is taking each other's place and vice versa.

What I'm thinking of is what is something that I like but I don't need in a large quantity and typically comes in a larger sort of form factor. And my mind is going towards like birthday cake. Like I love birthday cake, but I don't necessarily need like a big old piece of birthday cake. You know what I mean?

Sweep birthday cake and cupcakes? But this is the thing, because then I'm getting a cupcake, and a cupcake is a different experience than eating a slice of cake. That's a different sort of thing. So I'm almost like, what's a smaller sort of thing? And so here's what I'm thinking.

Birthday cake and slider. Slider becomes more like a big burger, and birthday cake becomes like a small little bite of cake. So a slider is now a big burger? Yeah, it's like a big burger, yeah. So when you get like, that's like three sliders and then it's like three. You get three big burgers, hey man, that's not good. That's insane.

Sounds like fun. Yeah. You don't even need to order a main at that point. Cause every time I eat a burger, I want more. Exactly, yeah. And sliders, the ratio is off. It's too much bread, it's too bunny. Yeah. Yeah. I like this. I like, I think that- That's just one thought. I'm just saying.

I was wondering if, cause I was thinking, yeah, the same like in the line with cereal, cause and then also mac and cheese. So like, what if it's like a macaroni noodle, but like, but they also, they're, those noodles already exist, you know? Right. Maybe like an elbow macaroni, but like,

This is like- Burrito size? Burrito size! Oh, that's fun. A burrito size noodle? Yes! Yes like this is like. Burrito size. Burrito size. Oh, that's fun. A burrito size noodle. Yes. That is fun. And then you're getting little tiny burritos,

which could be really fun little bites. Oh my God, yes, little burrito bites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one's done that. You get to eat this pizza roll, yeah. Yeah, but like, but a full burrito. I love that. With a lot of little ingredients in there.

Yeah, that's a hoot. Oh my God. I got one. Okay. You're an egg lover, You're an egg lover. I'm an egg lover. I'm gonna swap eggs, size of eggs, with watermelons. Whoa.

Wow. Then you get fun little bite-sized watermelons. I do like the small watermelons. That's fun. A little bite-sized watermelon. And then you get a big ass egg. Yeah. You could peel those like with a potato peeler

or something like that. You just have a little bite. That's fun. Yeah, it had to be seedless. Don't need a melon baller. So maybe seedless watermelon with egg. peeler or something like that. You just have a little bite. Yeah, see this, it had to be seedless. Don't need a melon baller. So maybe seedless watermelon with egg. Then you get that giant egg. The thing is, then you've got like,

how am I storing most of that egg? Because that's like- You just need one egg in your fridge. Yeah, but I'm like, once I crack that sum bitch open, like I've got to like, you know, maybe I could have scrambled for a little bit, but if I'm not in an industrial kitchen,

I don't know if I'm gonna be able to use it in a household. So there's no more smaller eggs in this scenario? Well, I don't in an industrial kitchen, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to use it in a household. So there's no more smaller eggs in this scenario? Well, I don't know. I mean, I don't know exactly what this hypothetical is. Also, if your house got egged, you're fucking. That would be a nightmare. Oh, god. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

This is good points. These are good points. No, that's a harrowing world, thinking about your house getting egged. I mean, but imagine the scrambled egg or the fried egg you could have with that egg. Huge. How would they egg your house though

with that they'd need to have like a trebuchet. Like they'd need some sort of siege weapon. Or a really strong guy. Yeah, they'd need a super strong, like a world's strongest man. Like he's heaving a keg over a wall. Yeah, it's like a basketball. Yeah. Yeah.

Here's one. And I'm thinking about the whale. You got the meatball sub, right? This is good. Now I love a meatball sub, but a lot of times it's a lot of food and you're feeling really heavy. But you know what I would like a lot of? What's that?

Mozzarella stick. A big mozzarella stick. Meatball sub style is a size mozzarella stick. That's pretty full. And then a little tiny meatball sub is a little bite of, like a Snickers bar. What the hell would happen to the whale though? Maybe the whale would, maybe he slims down.

He slims down. The whale slims down. He's watching more porno. All right. Hanford, can you guard the door so I can check out? I gotta watch this movie. The whale doesn't pass a kidney stone. Do I need to watch this movie?

No. I think you do, yeah. You truly do not need to watch it. You don't think he would then eat 40 meatball subs? He probably would just eat more meatball subs. He probably would eat more meatball subs. I haven't seen it, and eat 40 meatballs subs. He probably would just eat more meatballs. He wouldn't eat more meatballs subs. I haven't seen it and I feel like I understand the jokes enough without having seen it.

At first I thought they were talking about a character, like a whale character and I was like, you know, I think I get it. Now I get it. He's a character. He's a character. Dutton guarded the door while I jacked off at the birthday boys party.

People are amazing. That one just sounds like I'm the whale, which I'm not the whale. I'll tell you, once you pass that kidney stone, though, you'll be floating. You'll feel like you're floating on here like. You're floating like the kidney stone in the toilet. You're like. Oh, I maybe swap the size of the kidney stone

with something even smaller. Oh, that's good. That would be helpful. Yeah. I'm trying to think of something. I'll maybe make my hog bigger. Maybe I could swap my hog. Yeah.

And then there wouldn't be, you know what I mean? It wouldn't get clogged up like it does. Yeah, that's a good idea. We're sorry. Stop apologizing. Swap like your hog with a Vienna sausage. Yeah, that's a good idea We're sorry So I love you guys sausage That just give the kidney stone a longer way to travel possibly I don't know it sounds horrible Sounds like the worst. It's just hog with something bigger like a fun-sized Milky Way

If you have a question no one's gonna buy a Milky Way that If you have a question. No one's gonna buy a Milky Way that small if you swap it. Who's gonna have that Milky Way now? Right. I'm trying to think of something chocolatey, like desserty, you know? Or like an Oreo, but then I was like, no, I don't want a huge Oreo.

Yeah, you don't necessarily want a huge Oreo. But I do want like a chocolate something. Right, like a brownie or something. I mean, what's the ideal size of a brownie? There's brownie bites too though. You got brownie bites. Yeah. I mean, a huge brownie would be delicious.

That would be really fun. A huge warm brownie. I really love the burrito idea. Burrito idea's great. So good. Many burritos just sounds like fun. Yeah, we need to do that. I think that's basically just a taco, but.

Yeah, it's true. It's its own thing. Do you know what I want right now? I want a brownie sundae. Yum. I just suddenly got the craving for a brownie sundae. From where? Those are so good.

From anywhere? I honestly can't think of a place in LA off the top of my head that's a good brownie sundae spot. If you want, well, have you been to Magpies? I have, yes. It's vegan. Yeah. But they have non-vegan stuff.

Yeah. But you could get the sweet cream soft serve and get the brownie topping. I like that. And like chocolate sauce. It's right next to Jersey Mike's. Mm-hmm, yeah. So not too far.

Yeah. Look, shout out to Dutton and Hanford. People are amazing. I agree with you. They're solid bros. And God bless the whale. I think you and Eric should watch the whale. Okay. I think you guys would have fun watching.

He would not watch that. He would. Yeah. I don't blame him. Yeah. Yeah. And you shouldn't either. Anything else that would be a good switch? Do you guys have anything as far as? I liked the idea of donuts. Like the idea of a huge donut's kind of fun. Yeah. Like if you made it bigger, like if you made like a pizza sized donut, that's fine Oh don't and I like a small I mean there are pizza like that's that's that This is the thing I'm running into cuz I was like maybe smaller meatballs But then there are kind of there are small there are small meatballs. Yeah

Yeah, but I like the idea of like a large pizza sized donut that you can like cut chunks. Yeah You could have a large pizza size donut that you can cut chunks off. Yeah, that's fun. Or share a cake that sounds kinda fun. Or you could wear it around your neck like a huge necklace. I like that. Just like a massive donut. That's all I can think of.

No, but they have huge cookies that are cakes, but this could be a huge donut and warm. A warm fresh out of the oven with cinnamon sugar. Fuck. Or a glaze. Why don't they do that? A huge cream filled donut as a cake. That sounds awesome.

And you just like. You just cut a slice out of it. Yum, oh my god, it'd be sloppy and delish-y. Yeah, that sounds fucking great. I love that. Hey, if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedbag at BirdFuck.com

or leave us a voicemail at 830-Go-Thou. That's 830-463-6844. Let us know what foods you'd wanna swap. Hashtag snack swap. And to get the Doughboys double, our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys.

Our producers, Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producers, Amelia Marino. Our engineers, Casey Donahue. And our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Our guest today, Jess Rona. Jess, what a delight. Please come back. We'll talk about some sort of fast food. Thank you for having me.

Something trashy in the future, but it was fun to talk about your passion for End Dive today. Jess Rona grooming on social media. People should check it out. If they aren't already, I'm sure we have a lot of your fans listening to and watching this episode. But anything you'd like to plug?

Just that my shop is taking new clients. So if you've ever wanted to spoil your dog, we are taking new clients for the first time in four years. Wow. That's amazing. That's exciting. Well, very talented, super funny, and talented as a groomer, and a power couple.

You and Eric, a lovable power couple. We're gonna have you on the whole family back together, I think. We'll get it sorted. He loves you guys. We love you too. He's the best. Yeah.

Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger, happy eatin'. See ya. People are beautiful. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Hey buddy, want Doughboys merch? We're talkin talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses,

all sorts of stuff. Aprons! It's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. That was a hategum podcast.