Doughboys - Guy Fieri's Flavortown Kitchen with Eva Anderson

Episode Date: May 13, 2021

Our first ever guest Eva Anderson (Briarpatch, Dispatches from Elsewhere) joins the 'boys for their 300th episode and reviews Guy Fieri's Flavortown Kitchen. Plus, the return of Unsatisfied Yelper.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.cbsnews.com/news/guy-fieri-helped-raise-25-million-for-restaurant-workers-in-need-during-the-pandemic/https://www.minnpost.com/twin-cities-business/2015/06/diners-drive-ins-and-dives-effect/https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/guy-fieri-diners-drive-ins-dives-behind-sceneshttps://rerf.us/https://www.eater.com/22278411/guy-fieri-delivery-restaurant-ghost-kitchens-locations-robert-earlAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fm.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I kind of feel like Happy Gilmore. He's a hockey player that plays golf. I'm a cook that also does TV. This was celebrity chef Guy Fieri, as quoted by CBS News earlier this year. The pierced, tatted, goateed, bleach-blonde West Coast native who prepares self-described off-the-hook California cuisine indeed has kitchen bonafides, operating crowd-pleasing North Cal hotspots Tex Wasabi's and Johnny Garlix en route to winning Season 2 of the next Food Network star and skyrocketing to fame.

Like Happy Gilmore's Adam Sandler, Fieri has come to be beloved by the masses and mocked by elites, though the media savvy chef has smartly leaned into his own gimmick. Fieri hosts an array of Food Network series, most notably the cable channel's crown jewel, diners, drive-ins and dives, where the host cruises into a beloved local eatery and chops it up with the front and back of the house before leaving a literal mark on the place. As a 2016 Thrillist article notes, restaurants profiled on Triple D subsequently benefit from a permanent 200% increase in business.

Fieri's dedication to the restaurant industry's working class extends beyond merely platforming them on cable. A charitable man, as the COVID pandemic shuttered eateries nationwide, Fieri partnered with the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund and raised $21.5 million, largely directly distributed to furloughed restaurant workers as $500 grants. But as the brick-and-mortar restaurant industry continues to struggle, Fieri's own empire is evolving, opening a ghost kitchen concept in 23 states in February of 2021. The menu sees the rock star chef playing his hits, featuring Fieri fare like his mac and

cheeseburger, formerly outrageous and now chain stream. And so his guys' media and charity support brick-and-mortar restaurant workers by giving his name and likeness to a ghost kitchen he may simultaneously usher in a new era of food service, as Adam Sandler's Netflix deal did for Cinema. This week on the 300th episode of Doe Boys, Guy Fieri's Flavortown Kitchen. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Ago Von Bisquick. Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell.

So the 300th episode, you went with Ago Von Bisquick? There's a reason I did that, Mitch, and that's that Caroline, who submitted that roast, roastsmoomanageemail.com. Caroline who? It's not a Caroline we know. Unless there is a Caroline we know with this last name that I'm forgetting about. I mean, also a possibility, but go on. Caroline included a Photoshop of this roast. This is unprecedented.

Take a look. How about that? Wow. That's awesome. It's a little, we got German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, the inspiration for the roast, except his face has been replaced by an Ago Waffle. Wow. This handlebar mustache, superimposed, and then atop it is a Patriots, what do you call

that? A beanie? A toboggan? What do you call it? A beanie? Yeah. Patriots beanie. So there you go.

So. Ago Von Bisquick. Podcasting, a non-visual medium. For the 300th episode, we get ourselves a picture, a fun picture. That's for us. Nick, 300. 300. Wow.

Yeah. Far too many. I think we go to 500 and then call it quits. Do you really want to turn this like, I mean, let's be honest here, you want to turn this nozzle off. No. You want to cut off this income source? 500.

We'll go to 500. That's the new plan. What is that? That's, okay, that's four more years, basically, of episodes. Is that right? Four more years, like they chant for... Like we were both chanting in 2020. Wags?

Yes. I got news for you. Ooh, exciting. I feel like shit. Because last night, I choked on a Cheez-It. I was choking on a Cheez-It and it went down the wrong windpipe and that's why my throat is like fucked up today. But I was choking on a Cheez-It and it like went into my fucking...

Like I feel like it's in my, what's it called? My sinuses. Oh, I thought you were trying to think of the word for a throat. I choked on a Cheez-It, Wags. Wow, that's rough. That happened to George W. Bush. He choked on a pretzel, passed out. Did you lose consciousness?

No, I didn't get that. I didn't go that crazy, but I was really choking on that. I was really choking on the Cheez-It and something that I've held, you know, I hold dearly that Cheez-It, I love Cheez-Its. It's tough when a food you love betrays you. I had a similar incident, I think I've told this on the podcast before when we reviewed Togo's back in the day, but I, you know, a big pastrami sandwich fan and I had a choking incident that resulted in it, it was dining in in the Togo's as a kid and choked on a

piece of pastrami to the point where my dad had to give me a Heimlich in the restaurant to the horror of surrounding patrons. Jesus Christ. It was, it was disgusting. And then I couldn't eat pastrami for like a decade, but then I eventually came back to it. Also the, the patrons were freaked out that he had a big smile as he was giving you the Heimlich.

From my dad? Yeah. Now, why? Cause I was going to say, uh, Christ. I heard George H.W. right before he choked, you know what, you know what I heard he said? What? Not going to chew it. Okay.

So he said that. So over the phone, he said that to his son before his son choked on the pretzel. That's a series of. Oh, it was, it was George W. Bush. Yeah, it was W. Okay. Uh, then he just said, uh, strategically. 300.

I thought it was George H.W. No, it was George W. choked on the pretzel. George H.W. Bush, uh, threw up on a Japanese delegation. Okay. I think the Japanese prime minister, maybe I'm going to recon not going to chew it for that one. That's good.

That's really good. Wags, we did it. We're here at 300 and we got a great guest and we got a great restaurant. Wags. Wow. We sure do. Or is it great? I don't know.

You know what else? I bet we got a great drop. Wags, don't you dare try to steal that from me on the 300th episode. I'm just saying, I bet we got a great drop. I had my mouth open to say it. He saw my mouth open. Wags said how do you know how to do a big one, uh, still only size competition. I beat you in.

Here we go. Here's a little drop. Hey to Emma. I forgot about corn. I can't believe I forgot about corn. Wow. Wow. Quick turnaround.

I like it. Yeah. You know, I know how to talk to DK. That's from last week's episode. That's great. It's relevant. Oh yeah. It was from last week's episode.

I forgot. All right. No, that's good then. Still, this is, this is episode. I will still talk to DK. It's 300. It's the 300. I need a 300 drop.

I need a full 300th drop. Does that make sense? No. I'm sorry. No, it doesn't make sense. You mean like a big blowout drop? Yeah. I need a, isn't that special?

I need all the hits. Oh, got it. So look, I'm not disappointed, but I am. All right. Here we go. Hey, DoFam. Long time listener, first time dropper. Inspiration struck the moment I heard Mitch and Jana say this during the family food.

Congrats on the live stream. I watched at least 12 hours of it. Glad neither of you died. Happy eating from Sacramento. Barry. Why is this, is this the first post-doathon episode? It's our first post-doathon record. Yes.

We've released a few episodes, but this is the first time we've recorded one after the event. How have you been since then? Not good. It's been bad. On either end, so I've become a Peloton asshole. I got a fucking Peloton and right next to this goddamn bike, like a real sack of shit, and it's just such a fucking obnoxious thing to have.

What? For the 300th episode, please tell the listeners your Peloton name so that they can follow you on there. Some of the people in the DoScore know what a Peloton name, we're Peloton friends, but as part of that, you're using this fucking bike and I'm doing the bike, I'm using the yoga, I'm feeling like a real asshole, and I love it. I could not love it more, which makes me feel even more of a piece of shit. It's just an incredible interface and it's an incredible product.

I love this fucking thing that caters to people with too much disposable income and the free time to exercise. It fucking sucks to have it and then to also like it. But anyway, I'm saying all this in a roundabout way to say, it tracks your workouts and my workouts the week before, like basically the week and a couple of days before the Doathon and the week after, it's just nothing. It's just a void. I went from consistently, like I basically every day doing something, you know, getting

on the bike, doing some yoga, meditating, going on a guided walk, none of that shit. I haven't done fucking, I didn't do anything for a week leading up to it and nothing for a week after. I feel like my body's deteriorating in real time. Yeah. I mean, I think it was a couple of weeks for me where I started to fall off before the Doathon when things started getting crazy. I'm looking at your Peloton profile and it says, the last class you took yesterday afternoon,

a jack-in-ride, what does that mean? You jack-in-it while you ride? Well, I mean, yes. I mean, the short answer is yes. Should we introduce the guest? Returning to the show, a writer and comedian from Briar Patch on USA and Dispatches from Elsewhere on AMC and our guest on Doe Boy's Episode 1, Eva Anderson is back. Hi Eva.

Hey guys, I'm so excited to be back with you. Happy 300. Happy 300. We did it. Finally, an episode that matches my weight. Oh boy. 100 episodes ago, we were in the Vegas airport. That's right.

Wow. Wow, that was 100 episodes ago. Chili's 2. Yeah. That's crazy. Incredible. That feels like because 100 episodes feels so, I mean, that feels like it was too recent. I mean, because the world fell apart.

I agree. Yeah. But now, look, there's going to be some nerdy listeners who are like, it's actually should be 301 that she comes on the episode. Shut up. There's no 300th episode. This is actually isn't the real 300th episode because they counted one of the one of the broadcast episodes they uploaded as a proper episode.

Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Was that Saunders? Was that Saunders saying that? Yeah, Saunders wanted to claim it for himself. Oh man. Well, we're very happy to have you here. Oh, thanks.

You'll always be our 100th Mark guest, I say. I appreciate it. So two more times. Two more times. Two more times. Your estimation. Mm-hmm. And then that's it.

Yeah, no, no, no. This is going to keep going. Then we'll keep going. Then it'll just keep going. Maybe like 550. I want to stop the podcast as much as you do, but at some point you acknowledge that it's an income source. And also we got nothing better going on.

Yeah, what else are we doing? I figured that better things would, you know, but it's nothing good is really happening. But Eva, I wanted to say this. My iPhone made like a, you know how like it will make its own like little slideshows? Oh yeah. Mine made one of Vegas. Wow. And of that Vegas trip where we never left the airport.

So it's like, so it's like us just like, it's me by like a slot machine and like, and then like three shots of like the Chili's menu and then like a burger and then, and then weirdly Irma, like when I got back home, Irma slipped into like the Vegas album somehow. What music did you play with that bad boy? Did you do like the club mix? Cause I feel like that's usually pretty funny. Or the epic one is good too. Cause it makes everything, especially if it's stupid, put epic on it.

That's my recommendation. They always have just like saw, sad or somber, like in, in memoriam type songs. I think the iPhone is making a, making a big swing with that. Yeah. I think it, I think it thinks that its own res passed away, but it's usually, it's usually like a sad, yeah, like a sad little song. I'm going to see if I can find it. I'm going to see if I can find it.

In memoriam air travel. That's true. Whimsical air travel. Yeah. That's true. We went for, we went for fun. We went for, we traveled for a day for fun, Nick. I know.

Unthinkable in recent memory, but that was a, that was a thing we used to do. People used to do. And if I know it's a thing you do, you are a big time traveler. What do you miss? I mean, do you miss like all the, do you miss airport food? Do you miss airplane food? Do you miss just like, is there anything about travel itself? Or it's just like, even if something, even if part of the experience is bad, just it

was such a, a familiar thing. Well, I think I, I might have talked about this on a previous episode, but like, yes, I miss everything about traveling to the point that I live kind of by you on the West side now, Nick. Yes. And I have been going to an outdoor gym in El Segundo, which is by LAX, just so I can drive down as fast as I can and like fast and furious around the empty airport sometimes. And I did it like, it's gotten a little more crowded now, but I've been like, how fast

can I get to the airport? And the answer is very fast. And then sometimes I, one time I actually drove around, this was early pandemic. I just got on my car, drove as fast as I could to the airport and then drove around the empty like loop of the airport twice. Oh, man. I missed it. It was so fun.

Yeah. And that's a drive that you would that, that in normal times and pre pandemic times, because that airport is a fucking nightmare, that loop can take like a half hour to navigate. Oh, easily. Yeah. Especially if like the, the garages are full, but now I've just been like every, I'm like, I love it. I have, this is my airport.

Like I, so yeah, that's what I miss is just everything. I miss strange airports. I miss airport. I love getting the airport early and figuring out like what weird restaurants exist. Oh, it's great. Yeah. It's very sad that it's a bummer. It's a bummer.

What's, what's, what's, what's happened? But we're coming back, Nick. We're coming back. It seems like it. Now there's all this fear that we're not going to hit herd immunity. That's the thing. I've, I've, people are, people are worried that we're not going to, none of people are getting faxed.

Get faxed if you haven't. Everyone can get it if you're in North America. Get faxed unless you're in Canada. You can't get it there either. Yeah. Yeah. I said North America. I should have just said US.

If you're in the country that handled the pandemic, the worst, you get access to the vaccine first as your reward. Los Angeles is going to hit herd immunity this summer though. That was in the times this morning. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. And then most of California. Leave that rag.

Yeah. Um, but speaking of things that are a bummer, guys, I, there's something I need to get off my chest. Oh boy. Yeah. I've been stewing on this for a minute. Um, I'm, I'm real pissed off. Oh, okay.

So as you know, as you know, cause you did it, 24 hour doathon was, was a week ago. I was really excited for you guys doing this amazing active charity, raising over $100,000 for restaurant workers, which is the thing you guys did. It's unbelievable. I wanted to do something special for it. And so I bought you guys a cameo from ex-Trump lawyer, Michael Cohen. Wow. Where I asked him to just give you like, just congratulate you for all your hard work.

And I got in touch with the commissioner and Emma so they could like play it during this. We figured out where it would go during the live stream. I had seven days, he had seven days to record it. And the, at the time it was six days away. And I'm like, you know what, this guy's under house arrest. He's going to record it. He's, he owes $2 million and he's under house arrest. And his cameo page is covered in like the most unhinged cameos he's recorded for other

people where he just screams about Trump and like barely says what's on the, like he, you ask him to say. Well, spoiler, not only did he not record it in time for the do-a-thon, he didn't record it at all. I guess sometimes, sometimes people just don't record cameos and they don't have to offer any explanation and they can wait seven days to not record it. So you can't schedule another one. I can do like the mooch instead.

Also, I don't want to do the mooch. I wanted Michael Cohen. And I think he thought on Gopatchka was a slur. That's what I think that me asking him to say that would incriminate him. Even though I said it was a Yiddish word anyway, not only did I not get it in time for you guys. I didn't get it at all. And cameo doesn't refund your money.

They put it back into cameo. They put it back into cameo credits. So I'm now in a fight with what's called the cameo-famio. That's what they call their own customer service. What? Be like, how can you offer a service and not refund the money even if the service is not provided? That's insane. I have a specific amount of money in cameo credits just sitting in my account.

I have to appeal directly to the iTunes store to get it back as money. Otherwise, I guess just get another cameo, which I don't want. Also, every cameo is a different amount of money. So even if I say did get one from Scaramucci, he's only $70. Michael Cohen was $109. There's no one else who's $109. $109. Wow.

So specific. And so either I have to get, it's such a scam. I either have to give them more money or just have $30 in cameo credits sitting there. So I'm like, cameo-famio, give me my damn money. Michael Cohen, I hate you. I'm mad at you. I didn't think this whole whimsical thing would end with me being like, I know I don't like Michael Cohen either. Like me and the Trumps all think he's a degenerate who doesn't live up to what he promises.

But I'm mad at him. And I'm mad at cameo and I'm in a fight with, I'm trying to get my iTunes to give me my money back. I don't like him either. That's infuriating. Yeah, I don't like him either. I liked him before. I liked him too. Seven days in-

I'm like huge fan. Seven days and nothing? That's ridiculous. I was like staring at my phone walking around like in the last hours. He's gonna do it. He's gotta send it. And it was like, you have 20 hours left. And I was like, oh, oh, he's coming.

And then he just, yeah, he didn't do it. That's fucking bullshit. That's why he's like going to see the movie, The Ring. Samara calls up, says seven days. And then on the seventh day, she doesn't show. And the movie ends. What the fuck is that? That's bullshit.

What a letdown. How anticlimactic. That's fucking bull. Of course she'd be disappointed. Thanks for letting me event my spleen. You know, on this topic, that was a lovely gesture. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but thank you for going to all that trouble. And hopefully something gets resolved with the cameo-famio.

I also just wanted to remind any of our Patreon subscribers, if you do request a refund for the Doe Boys Double, you get that credit back in Mitch Bucks. Yeah. Which they work in some ways. They work in some... You can get some things with some Mitch Bucks. Weirdly, Mitch Bucks works at...

They work at Bertucci's. All in Northeast. You can use Mitch Bucks at Bertucci's. Well, look, there was no cameo, but Emma, can we play that video? Yeah, I was just getting it ready for you, one second. Here is another visual treat on our 300th episode. We finally figured out how to take advantage of the format. The Las Vegas...

Oh, cool. The Las Vegas video trip. Oh, my God. I'm going to shut up a burger. There's Mitch Bucks on the table. And then walling in our mind. That's it. That's it.

That's the whole video. Just a picture of you. Just a picture of me. Just a picture of you. Me. I also have to point out that you guys went on 420. Oh, wow. That's right.

April 20th, 2019. Yeah, baby. What a day. Wow. I had a great time. That was a lot of fun. We played some fucking video poker and some shitty Willy Wonka slot machine in the airport terminal, ate some chilies too, and then flew back.

Was it fun? I loved hanging with you guys, but I don't know, flying to Vegas and not even leaving the airport is fun? Yes. Yeah, I had a good time. Yeah, I guess it was fun. Weiger taught me some switch games I should buy. You brought your switch and gave me a bunch of advice, and I liked the games that you

told me to get. It was great. Wow. Hell yeah. I'm glad that worked out. When the switch was new, now it's all PS5, PS5. All anyone wants to talk about is, oh, my PlayStation 5. Have you played Astro's Playroom on your PlayStation 5?

But then back then, it was the handheld switch, Nick. And don't forget, this was pre-pandemic. That's right. Pre-pandemic. Everyone was using a switch. Post-pandemic. Or everyone wants to play PlayStation 5. It's like make up your minds.

It's fucking bullshit. You know what? We probably will end this podcast before 5. Every time I think about it, I just get mad at you, the listeners. You dumb fucks. Now Eva, I know you are. You're someone who has been doing some outdoor dining. What's that scene been like?

It's pretty good. I mean, actually, the most, for me, the most interesting outdoor restaurants that I've discovered are the ones that came to be during pandemic. That, you know, for instance, right by, I live kind of near a public golf course. And a, there was like a kind of a cheesy indoor diner at the golf, like what you, like a coffee shop, like what you expect. But in an over-pandemic, there was a kind of a cheesy indoor diner at the golf, like what you, like a coffee shop, like what you expect.

But in an over-pandemic, they got bought out by a wine bar and turned into like a very nice outdoor restaurant and wine bar, which has picnic tables that stretch way further than, you know, the footprint it was originally of the, of the, so you basically can go sit at a picnic table, get some like little nibbles, and get like a nice glass of wine and watch people play golf. And it's like, oh, this would never be something I would opt to do before the, the way dining is conceived shifted. But now it's one of my favorite things to do.

Wow. Yeah, that sounds fun. Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. And there's another one that's at the Santa Monica airport has a big sprawling restaurant now that goes over all the, like the little parking lots, which I've also been digging. I, I, I, I, watching people play golf, it's pleasant. It's a nice thing to see people go by.

I don't do it. My, my, my, my dad loved golf wigs. He got into it when he was like, you know, and it's like, maybe in his fifties when he, when he started, like he started to really play and he enjoyed it. The last thing he bought me, he bought me a set of golf clubs. He loves golf. I just never, I've never, and I don't use them too often, but I, I try to, but it is very pleasant to watch people play golf.

It's a nice, like a nice little setting. If you have something to eat around the golf course, it's nice. Plus always a chance that some, uh, caddy shack-esque hijinks will ensue wigs. You never know. Absolutely. A golf ball. You never know. Fucking lands in your drink.

How fun is that? And then you hear someone say four, like a little too late afterwards. That's great. That's fun. That's great. And then you turn to your dining event and you're like, whole in one. You get a nice laugh. Oh, your hate.

You're there and like you're, you're with like a snooty lady and she orders like a, like she orders like a soft boiled egg and then the golf ball, it bounces and it knocks the egg out and it falls into like her plate and she's trying to cut the golf ball open, like an egg. Yeah. She doesn't understand what's going on cause she's rich, but she doesn't have much going on upstairs. Yeah.

So she, oh my, my egg. So she, she swallows it whole. Yeah. And then she fucking dies. And then she dies. And everybody's laughing. It's just like candy shack. A lot of fun.

Everyone can enjoy that. I really like to, I really do enjoy eating outside. That, that I guess is a thing that I've, and I don't really, I haven't gone to like an outdoor restaurant with table service yet. I've been, we, we've been, you know, perhaps cautious to a fault, but I have like gone to like, like just sit on a bench or something or sit at like a table and like a public space and just eat some to-go meal or some food I brought with me. And it's, I don't know, it's nice to get fresh air and, and chop on something.

And of course we're benefiting from the lovely, the year round SoCal weather, but man, it's, man, it's nice. I mean, you gotta be up to some of that in Quincy. It's the nicest day of the year right now. So far it is. It's the nicest day of the year here and I am in my, I'm in the basement. We're not going to stay there all day, all day though, right? No, it's my dad's birthday.

So we're going to go to the cemetery. Oh boy. That's a happy birthday. I'll get out of the basement, go to the cemetery, come back to the house. You know, the, you know, the normal day. Sure. Yeah. Thank you.

It, it is, it's a good, May 11th for the, for, for recorded ahead of time. Why do you think- HBD and RIP to the waiver. Thank you, Wags. And thank you, Eva. Wags, do you think if we were there when, and like if we were in the Caddyshack universe, do you think that, do you think that Rodney Dangerfield would still say, hey, we're all going to get laid if you saw us there?

Hey, we're all going to get laid. We have to be like, oh, you know, some of us. That's good. We'll be back with more Doughboys. Welcome back to Doughboys. We are here for our 300th episode with our first ever guest, Eva Anderson. Hi Eva. Hey.

And we are reviewing for this week Guy Fieri's Flavortown Kitchen. Wow. This is another virtual dining concepts ghost kitchen. This is the same brand, Mitch, that did Mr. Beast Burger, which we reviewed with Jason Konzeb- Wags, with a restaurant choice like that, the listeners surely can't be mad. They're doing Guy Fieri's ghost kitchen? Yeah.

300. Wags, I'm going to say, look, we have a guest guest. Look, we had some technical difficulties, and I told you that you were coming in like the guy from Back to the Future, and I just remembered his name is Max Hedrum. We didn't even say it on air, but you're coming in like Max Hedrum every so often. You're stuttering in occasionally. But you're just seeing, you're the only one who's seeing that. No one else is seeing that, and you're just seeing that from me.

So there's something about your pipeline to me, like just our direct connection has an issue. The internet's trying to turn you off. It's done with you. They're afraid of me, and they should be. Max Hedrum was like a huge deal in the eighties and nineties. I forgot he was in the Back to the Future franchise, because he was like a character who just existed. He was in a bunch of different shit.

He was like a, did he have his own show at some point? Well, he wasn't like a Pepsi or Coke spokesperson as well. Or commercials, where he'd be like Coke. I also feel like, Weiger, did this happen for you? I feel like kids on the playground would always be like, you know what, his name's Max Hedrum. And then he'd be like, because he hit his head and the sign said Max Hedrum, where he hit his head and it knocked his head off. I think I've had people tell me that.

Whoa, I never heard that, but I believe it. Did people ever confuse you for Max Hedrum, like out on the street? He was a virtual celeb before that was a thing. He was like a CG character in the early days of CG. Yeah. I think, right? Or was he an actor with a filter? I think he was a CG creation.

Wasn't there a CG creation that was just signed by like a talent agency, by like fucking CAA or WME or something? Oh yes, one of the same. I mean, there's an Instagram. Yeah. Yeah, who the fuck was it? There's an Instagram virtual fucking sucks person who's like just been created by this conglomerate of tech assholes.

The fucking sucks. It sucks so much. No, he's played by Matt Fruehr. He's a person. No, no, no. Oh yeah. No, Max Hedrum, I think, was an actor. Yeah, was an actor.

Okay. Well, then never mind. Yeah, you fucked up big time. Mikayla is the virtual, Mikayla is the virtual influencer. Mikayla the virtual, who did she sign with? She signed with someone, didn't she? I don't know. Mikayla.

I don't follow the industry. One of a kid I know is like in charge of writing content for Mikayla. I didn't even know that that existed until I ran into him and he was like, oh yeah, this is my job now. And he pulled up little Mikayla and showed her to me and he's like, yeah, we come up with stuff for her to do and then we like, and I write the little captions or whatever. This is like a couple of years ago. What's interesting about that is that the, like what Mikayla does is so mundane.

Like it will just be, you know, what a normal Instagram influencer would be doing except it's a virtual character. And I think they photograph it in real environment. Like they take actual photographs and then just like, you know, fucking Photoshop in this virtual character. It's very strange. You know who I do like is Hatsune Miku, who is the virtual idol, the singer. Wow.

And I actually think, you know what? I think she's got a lot of talent. I don't like any of them. You don't like any of them? I don't like any virtual get the, no, I don't like the virtual. I don't like the AIs. I don't want the AIs being stars. It doesn't make sense.

You don't like the Simones? No. Give me more Simones, I say. No, I don't want Simone. I don't want her. I don't want any of these AI people getting, making their way in. It's bullshit, Ygs. Uh, my dad saw her and he, uh, his take was, come on buddy, you're in love with your phone

or you out of your mind? Oh man. That's such a good dad review. Yeah, that's a great dad review. That's a, that's, that's a great older guy review. I mean, he's, I mean, he's right. He's right. Can't argue with it.

I feel like if somebody said that, if somebody said that to Joaquin Phoenix in the first minutes of the movie, he would just like put the phone away and you're right. Faint of black. Why? Ys. I think you must, I must, I think you must have flesh. I think you have to prove flesh, a proof of flesh to be, to be, to be, to be signed at an agency.

Proof of flesh, I say. Proof of flesh. Proof of flesh. Proof of flesh. Proof of flesh. Proof of flesh. This is like what they, they chant at the flesh fair in AI. This is like what they, they chant this while they're dissembling mechas.

I feel like in some sort of coming dystopia where there are, you know, robots live and work among us and perhaps are considered sentient, there will be people who are demanding proof of flesh and dissembling these things and it'll be monstrous. Do you know how when you like chant something, it takes a few times and then you start fucking it up? The first time I said it, I said, proof of flesh, I believe. I didn't say, I didn't say flesh. I immediately got it wrong.

He got 80s comedies on the brain. Wigs. Mm-hmm. Here's a guy who could fit in in the 80s and now Guy Fieri. Thank you, Mitch. You know, Guy Fieri's Flavor Town Kitchen mostly operates out of Bucchia De Beppo, Brio Italian Grill and Bertucci's. Those are the kitchens that he mostly uses for its own menu.

It's available in 23 states for delivery only and we should note that Fieri, a guy who, you know, puts his money where his mouth as he helped raise $21.5 million for the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund, which is a national restaurant alliance association. I forget whatever. It's an industry org, but he did raise a lot of money that went as direct aid to restaurant workers. So it seems like a good name. You know what?

It really makes the doathon look like shit. Oh, 100%. Yeah. It's like making us look fucking bad. I bet he could get a cameo from fucking Michael Cohen. He could have. Michael Cohen would just come on his show. He would just like be like, yeah, you don't even have to pay me.

I'll show up. We'll get him in the converter. I'll be on an episode of Triple D. Michael Cohen with a top down, driving around with Guy. Yeah. Oh, man. Going to Comet Ping Pong. Let me say this about, because, you know, I am a Guy Fieri fan.

I do love watching diners, drive-ins, and dives. He seems like a good guy and beyond his recent fundraising. You know, just a guy who's prepared meals for firefighters fighting wildfires in California. He seems like a good dude and kind of also embraces who he is, which I like. So I characterize myself as a Fieri fan. But this is the second, maybe third. I think this is the second Fieri restaurant. I think we've covered on the show.

And I mean, I've been disappointed with each outing, I have to say. I came in with expectations of like, oh, this is going to be fun. This is going to be over the top. This is going to be embracing who he is as a man, as a persona and as a chef. And I feel like I didn't get it from any of these outings, including this one. I got to say that when we ate at the one-in-time square. Yes, Guy's American Kitchen. The issue with it was that we were bored by the dishes.

The problem with it is that the dishes were kind of boring and not as guy-like as we wanted. We wanted them to be crazier. We wanted it to be like a guy spin on some of these dishes. And they just kind of felt like almost like Cheesecake Factory, but not as great. I will say this. If the three of us could go and eat at Guy's in Times Square, I would be thrilled. And I'd probably give it five forks because I'd be so happy to be out in the world or whatever. But Nick, I was with you.

The food was a bit of a let down there. And I don't know if I 100% agree with this time around. I don't like ghost kitchens. We've talked about this before. Not a fan of ghost kitchens. Both literal and, you know, in this case. Look, if you've got a slimer in your kitchen eating hot dogs, not a fan of it. Scary. You don't want to specter rattle around pots and pans?

No. Are you trying to prepare a meal? Horrifying. I've been playing Resident Evil 8 Wags. Scary. Scary stuff. You don't want that in your house. You don't want a ghost in your house.

You don't want it in the kitchen. You got glassware in there. You got plates. That stuff can break. That's a fucking, that's a field day for a specter to have glasses that they can float around in the air and then drop on the floor and break wags. Yeah. We've seen it happen.

Here's my plan. If I get a ghost, I'm just going to trap them in the guest bathroom. They just have that room to themselves. I'll use the rest of the house. But what if you go in that room to splash cold water on your face? Because you're scared of the... I didn't think it through. Then I look at myself in the mirror and the ghost is behind me and I get a fright.

The mirror shatters of its own volition. Yeah. That would really be spooky. Wise. Look. Yeah. All that being said, I don't like ghost kitchens themselves. I don't like when these places take over.

I've said this before. Now, what guy is doing it is... Is this restaurant raising funds or is this just profit? No. That was a separate initiative. He did that through his shows. This is a for-profit venture. Okay.

Yeah. Look, I know the idea that it helps some restaurants and it brings some income to Bertucci's or wherever else. But I don't know, man. It kind of bumps me out. And at least with guys, it is a shit. You know what I mean? I at least give it that.

Like, oh, this guy's a chef and I like guy more than Mr. Beast Burger. Who's like, I'm going to make a burger. And that to me, I'm just like, why is this guy... Who is this guy who's just going to make a burger? I don't care about this guy who just wants to make a fucking burger, a smash burger. Who fuck this guy? Guy seems like a good dude, like we said. And he actually is a chef, you know, or works in that industry.

But why is... I see what you're saying. There were definitely some letdowns and then some good bites too that I had. I think maybe your vegetarianism maybe didn't help you in this episode. Oh, 100% because there are not very many veggie options on this menu, including none of the salad. There isn't even a vegetarian salad on this menu. And they're not a vegetarian pasta dish. I mean, there is mac and cheese available as a side, but yeah, this is not veggie friendly.

Can I talk about briefly a now retired Guy Fieri restaurant that I think is what you guys wish you had gone to? Yes, please. I became familiar with Guy Fieri in the late 2000s off of his first cooking show on the Food Network where he would cook out of this loft apartment set that had a stripper pole behind him. He was kind of finding his whole vibe. I started looking into him. I realized he had two restaurants. One was called Johnny Garlics and it was in Northern California.

The other one was in Sacramento and it was called Tex Wasabes. Yes. So I was driving up to Oregon and I stopped at Tex Wasabes. It was a barbecue and sushi fusion restaurant that had like a kimono on the wall and also like a cow's hide on the wall. Like it was both things. And when I went, I was the only one in the restaurant. Yeah, I'd been driving to see my mom in Oregon and I stopped in Sacramento because I was like, I got to find this guy's restaurant, this guy. And the waiter, even though I was the only one there, the waiter came, turned the chair around and sat on it backwards facing me and like introduced me to the menu.

And the thing that they had that does pure Fieri is a section called gringo rolls. They had sushi rolls and they had gringo rolls and the gringo rolls had meat in them and french fries and had mayonnaise on top. And that's what I got. I got a pulled pork gringo roll with french fries in it and mayonnaise on top. I would have loved a gringo. That is exactly what I want. I want a gringo roll. Yeah, it's bad.

It was really bad. But I was so delighted. And also they had like a whole section of Mountain Dew cocktails of just these cocktails are made with Mountain Dew. It's like, that's what you want from Guy Fieri. It's just like insanity, madness. And since then, I've been to Guy's Vegas Kitchen twice. I've been to Burro Baracho in Vegas. I've been to Times Square twice.

I've ordered from his winery and I've eaten the trash can nachos that you can get from Gold Belly. Wow. Briefly in like 2015, I had made a map. I was like, he only had like six restaurants at the time and I'd eaten at three of them. And I was like, I get seven. So I was like, oh, if I go to New York and rent a car, I could go to these three ones. There's one in Atlantic City and one in the Poconos and another one that was like in a weird part of northern like upstate New York. And then there was the final one was in Galveston, but you had to get on a cruise ship that left Galveston and eat at the final one.

And I was like, I could do this. And I like made a schedule and figured out how many days it would take. And I was like, I could do this and then like write a book about going to all of them. Right. And then I didn't do it, but I was like, I can, and now there's so many. He's got them all over and on every cruise ship, like most of the Burbank Airport is Guy Fieri restaurants. There's only one that's not, I think a Guy Fieri restaurant at this point. I've eaten at the Burbank Airport one too.

I forgot about that one. The Burbank Airport being Guy Fieri restaurant like restaurant it out is the funniest thing about. I mean, look, the Burbank Airport is is heaven. It is truly the like, I would fly out of there all the time if I could. It's great. It's a great airport. I'll call and raise with the Long Beach Airport, which is a delight. Oh my God.

Great airport. Come on. Fantastic airport. Oh, they have that gorgeous, like a gorgeous Art Deco club there, like a little restaurant with like a really beautiful tile mosaic that I love. It's like going back in time. It's like flying out during the 1950s. The the where you get your luggage.

It's outdoor. It's like it's like an outdoor courtyard. It's great. Yeah. It seems good for when it rains. Fucking dumbass design. Those situations when it rains, but do you know where we live? Or you know where I live at least.

I'm coming back. Where you used to live. And why? It's got a lot of rain in SoCal. You know what? You know, in California, you know, the first place I flew into the Burbank Airport. I flew into the Burbank Airport and I was like, this is Hollywood. Like I didn't understand.

Yeah. And the the airport owner saw you walking in was like, we got to get some Guy Fieri restaurants in here. I, I, I saw fries electronics and in North Burbank. And I thought Hollywood, I finally, I finally made it to Hollywood. Man, what a fucking I miss fries electronics, a place that went under during the pandemic. God, what a fun store. It just, you'd go and walk around like a Costco for electronics.

If you don't know it. I went to the El Segundo fries, which is like the Tiki themed one when I was one of my fast inferences. And I was like, I went in, I walked around, I looked at all the Tiki stuff. Like the Koi pond was boarded off. I couldn't go in there. But I like bought like something goofy. And then that night at midnight, they were like, every fries now is closed forever.

Like I don't think even knew. I got like six hours before it was gone. I was like inside it walking around. I was so sad. Later that night. The Koi were on the, just on the cement flopping around. So if you, I think people know fries, but just in case you don't, it's, it's basically they're these gigantic warehouse size stores that have all manner of electronics, consumer

electronics inside. And also like odd food stuffs and then like a section for magazines that includes porno. You can get porno at fries. But the other thing about them is that each individual location is themed in some way. So you mentioned the Tiki one. The one in Burbank, I believe is UFO themed, right? Like it has like a UFO crashed into it. There's ones that are, I'm trying to remember the other ones, you know, like fairy tale themed.

There's a space one. Yeah. There's a space one. In Orange County, where Scott Gierner from podcast The Ride got to briefly be on the big screen as a, as a spaceman. Right. That's right. They've covered this extensively on podcast The Ride, but it was a fun store and it was,

and it was like an experience. And it's the kind of thing of just like, I know, you know, we all, everyone uses online retail, but man, it's fun to go shopping sometimes. Yeah. I miss it. You miss it. Yeah, I miss it. You had to bring out the fucking Long Beach Airport.

Burbank is a great airport. Burbank is good for people who live in Hollywood though, you fool. Have you flown out of Long Beach? Yes. Actually, I have flown out of Long Beach. That's a good airport. So you know. Fucking too far away.

Too far away. Well, it depends on where you live. You're on the west side. It's maybe more convenient at the Burbank. Also, I had just a bad feeling come over me when I was there just because I know that you went to high school in that area. I don't like to be in the places you, I've never taken a, you know what? I would gladly take a tour of your hometown.

You've never get to, I've never seen your hometown through Wyger Eyes. What are we going to do? I'm going to drive you around and show you things. Hey, look at that. Yeah. You want to do that? That's where I got my first pub. We're sitting, we're sitting in front of his house.

That's where he keeps pointing things out. That's the place where I got my first pub. What I'm going to ask you quickly is, does Texas Abbey still exist? No. Damn it. There's a whole interesting thing that happened in 2015. Basically, Guy Fieri opened Johnny Garlich's and Tex Wasabi's with a business partner named some, his name was Gruber.

I don't know his first name. His old business partner. So basically, maybe it was Hans Gruber. Oh boy. Big mistake. Basically, it was just a transition point when he was like, Burbank Airport stuff was starting to happen. His brand was taking off and he tried to shut down Johnny Garlich's and then Gruber was like,

no, ensued him to stop the restaurants from closing and then basically bought all the stock of Tex Wasabi's and Johnny Garlich's. At the time, they had to, I just, in this article, it says also two of the menu items at the Texas Abbey's at the time were Eddie's mommy, Eddie's mamae, and crouching chicken, hidden salad. Oh my God. That was good. Yeah.

So then this guy Gruber, it seems like he just ran the restaurants into the ground and they just closed on their own. And it was kind of sad about it on Yelp. It was crouching chicken, hidden salad? Yeah. It doesn't seem crouching tiger chicken salad, right? That's better. Yeah.

Well, is the salad hidden in some way? That's what I was thinking. I think that maybe there's some salad underneath like a big chicken breast or something. I like it because it's so low effort. It's not a pun on anything. They just changed two words. Look, I like guy himself. Yes.

Sometimes you're going to be a little critical. I like that it hangs with the Sandman. He's got a good crew of friends. He's having fun. He gives back. It seems like he's a nice guy to work with. It seems like it. I don't know if it's true or not, but it seems like he's a good guy to work with.

He's a likable guy. But I agree. But to push that to that, you like crouching chicken hidden salad. I like it if it came from him. If it came from Gruber, I'm out. You mentioned Adam Sandler, Mitch, and I read this quote in my intro, but I know you'll never listen to it, so I'll just say this for you now. This is Guy Fieri.

I kind of feel like Happy Gilmore. He's a hockey player that plays golf. I'm a cook that also does TV. He'd describe himself in Sandman terms. I like that. I like it a lot. You mentioned Eva. Those two restaurants, Johnny Garlich's and Tex Wasabi's predated his career as a celebrity

chef. He had those restaurants and then went on the Next Food Network star and then got a TV show. Then probably, I assume some business dispute came out of all the riches associated with his newfound fame. Then his restaurant empire, beyond that, is all the guys, American blank, or all the guys, the variants that actually have his name and the signage, including this place. By the way, I should note that the guy's American in Times Square, which we reviewed a couple

years back, it has permanently closed, but there's a bunch of other ones dotting the nation and like Eva said on cruise ships. To get into what I got at Guy Fieri's Flavortown kitchen, the ghost kitchen we're reviewing this week. Now, we got a couple of meat items. She got the buffalo wings, which are Guy's signature buffalo sauce, blue sabi, blue cheese and wasabi, and that's the dipping sauce, and also the real cheesy burger, which is 80-20 ground beef, cheddar, and he uses a bunch of acronyms, including L-T-O-P, which is lettuce,

tomatoes, onions, pickles, but you just have to pick those up or know what they are. That's how it's described on the menu. And their burgers are all on brioche, which I'm a little exhausted by burger-wise, but we can talk about that, and also include donkey sauce, which I should note, I don't think the donkey sauce is vegetarian. They have it on their veggie burger, and I would think they'd have enough care to be like, well, let's make sure this is vegetarian, but from the recipes I've read, it seems like it includes Worcester, which usually includes anchovies, which means it doesn't actually

qualify, so it's maybe a little suspect if you're trying to eat vegetarian and vegan and be strict about it. But I will say, I think her take on the burger is that it was too much bun, and if it wasn't delivered, it would have been better, and the wings were solid. That dip in sauce, the blue cheese wasabi dip in sauce was, and maybe there's an indictment of the chain, I think like a celery stick put in that blue cheese and wasabi dip in sauce was my favorite thing that I had, because that sauce is great, and that sauce is very fiery.

A blue cheese wasabi, sure, that seems like a Guy Fieri mashup, why not? Let's get more of that. Natalie's overall take, and I thought this was good, was it's weird for a place that delivery only to have such a fried food heavy menu, like basically everything is fried, and fried food travels so poorly, and that is like, you know, honestly outside of the burgers, basically everything is something that goes into a deep fryer, it seems like a bizarre miscalculation. Bitch, what were you getting from Guy Fieri's Flavor Town Kitchen?

Well, it's a great take by your lovely wife, Natalie, it is a great take. Why is everything so fried if it's all getting delivered, which surprisingly some of my fried stuff did come through better than I thought. So, wait, Eva, did you say you can take a boat in Galveston, Texas to a fries, to a, not to a fries, to a Guy's American Kitchen? What is it? At the time, no, no, no, there was, it was a cruise ship that left from Galveston. Oh, okay.

That had the final restaurant on it, so I kept thinking about it, like in Mario 3 when the island moves or like the, where when Bowser moves to like hide from you, isn't that happening in Mario 3? Yeah, there's an airship, you getting the airship? Yeah, the airship in Mario 3, yeah. I kept picturing it like the airship, like he didn't want me to catch him, but I would. Isn't Robert Durst from Galveston, isn't that Galveston's? Is he?

That is where he killed one of his victims and where he also, when he was like, when he was doing his like a female character, he was dressed as an old lady and live in there. Hey, eating Guy's American on a cruise ship next to a burpen Robert Durst wags, I can't think of a better way to get to enjoy it besides the way I had it, which was with my mommy, like almost all of these things that we've done since I've been back in Quincy. I ordered quite a lot wags, which is also what I've been doing since I've been back in Quincy and before that too, I guess. I got, I got the jalapeno pig poppers, which Nick, you want to help me out here with the

description. Bacon wrapped, fire roasted jalapenos stuffed with andouille, pimento cream cheese, glazed in bourbon brown sugar, bbq sauce, andouille, I'm always like, that's a word I'm always if yawn, andouille, andouille? I mean, it sounds like. Andouille? It sounds like something from the water boy, like from a Sandler movie. I think they say andouille.

I think they make a couple of andouille jokes at some point. Andouille. Yeah, it's not an easy one to say wags, but I got to say, I kind of like these. These were all right. I ate like a big ass jalapeno one and I was like, they're not spicy. Told my mom they weren't spicy. My mom ate a smaller one and it fucking burned her mouth wags. I was a bad son.

I gave bad advice and she saved half of it and I tried it. And it was like, you know how some jalapenos are just spicier than other jalapenos? It was a fucking spicy jalapeno. The big giant one wasn't spicy at all, but this one was spicy. These would be good at the restaurant. I think they're like a fun little treat. I was dipping them in that, the blue cheese wasabi or whatever it is wags. And I was having fun with them.

And then also the SM cheesesteak egg rolls, which if you want to give a description wags. Yes. There's a shaver by SMC, another acronym that stands for super melty cheese, provolone and sriracha ketchup. Now the sriracha ketchup I thought was fun. Like I liked the taste of it. My mom thought it was too spicy. But it also just kind of tasted old.

You know when like ketchup has been like out on a plate or something? I feel like whatever that container they were keeping it in was weird. But the cheesesteak egg rolls were good. My mom and I both enjoy them. This is like probably one of the highlights of the meal, of the hot food at least. Yeah, we enjoyed it quite a bit. I got the crazy Cuban sandwich, which I don't know if anyone's ever had like a Cubano before. Of course.

And I don't think there's anything too crazy different with this sandwich wags. Smoked pork, ham, Swiss cheese, pickles, mustard, donkey sauce, pressed hoagie and crispy potato sticks. Yeah, the crispy potato sticks are like we're out of like a box, but they were fine. And the sandwich itself was good, very cheesy. Like you would bite into a part and it was just like glops of cheese. Like where you were just like chewing a glop of cheese, which I don't know how people would feel about that. But when you got, when you got like a taste of the pork and stuff, it was good. It had a good taste to it, but wasn't my favorite.

And I also got Guy's signature sandwich wags or his award-winning sandwich or award-winning burger. The bacon mac and cheese burger. Yes. 80-20 ground beef, SMC, super-multi-cheese mac and cheese, bacon, L-T-O-P, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, crispy onions, donkey sauce on that garlic butter brioche. Now wags, I know you said howdy-ho earlier and you know what I got to say to this burger? Oonga-patchka! Oh!

Oonga-patchka! Wow. A little too much. Too much. Too much. There was too much going on to the point of, my mom and I both said this, that the Mr. Beast burger was a place where we just liked the burger and then we hated all the sides. And here it was the exact opposite where we liked all the side stuff more than we liked the actual mains,

the Cuban sandwich and the burger. The burger was okay. There was too much going on to where I couldn't zero in on the beef that much. You know what I mean? There was a lot of different wild tastes. And the mac and cheese was kind of like splayed over it and like haphazardly not. There was no true form to it. You know what I mean?

It wasn't divvied out well. It was kind of like there was a clump of it here and then there was nothing and then there was a clump of it over there. But you know, it didn't taste bad. It wasn't bad. Right. I ordered the chicken pomeroni and the cheesecake challenge. Now why? You're not going to read description of that because guess why?

They didn't come. Neither of them came in the order. Wow. And like, look, if they forgot just like the one dessert, that's fine. But to forget the whole, an entree and dessert, I feel like. Yeah, that's tricky. And then also here's another thing. I emailed and I was like, the entree and the thing isn't, the entree and the dessert isn't there.

And just no response back. And then I like read on the app. Like I read reviews of the app, which by the way, I tried to order from the app. I told Eva this, the app just didn't work. The app would not work on my phone. I don't know if it's, I did get a new phone recently. So I don't know if it's like, like they, I don't know if the app is, is fixed for like the newer version of whatever iOS or whatever. But it just wouldn't work on the phone.

It was, it was, it would search for a restaurant was just a spinning wheel and never stopped. Um, yeah, I got, I got the app up. It's, it's, I thought my, my overall take is either the app is crap. It's, it's just, it doesn't work all that well. And I was able to order through the app, but like things like making modifications are pretty much impossible. It's, it's, it's just like a, just a bad UI. The app is crap. Yeah.

The app is crap. The app is crap, but I do respect that he took his restaurant off like postmates and other predatory services, but I also agree. It's a weird app. Um, it's sad you didn't get chicken Parmaroni because according to the description, it has something called crispy pepperoni hay. Yes. And that, that to me was fascinating. I really wanted to eat that fucking hay. I would have been like, I would have, I would have, I would have, I would have, I would have been a big old horse swags.

I would have fucking chopped down on that. Oh man. Give me a bale full of that hay. Um, I'm God, a horse. Is there anything else that eats hay? I'm not like a horse in any way. Do cows eat hay? I mean, I think they can eat hay.

I think I always think of it as a horse thing. Yeah. Horses love this stuff. I think, I think any sort of farm animal probably is a hay eater. A goat? A goat? Yeah. Horses are what they're, it's a goat.

Yeah. A goat will eat anything. Go to eat a goddamn can. All right. Yeah. Then I am more like a goat. I need a can. Uh, uh, Wags, here, here are a couple more items I got that did come and I got a lot of items.

You're going to see. I mean, the menu is not giant. I was trying. It's the 300th episode. I was trying. I was trying to knock out a lot of stuff. I got the flavor town fries. And here's the thing.

They actually delivered well. I was shocked. Wow. They were crispy. They stayed crispy. I don't know if it was the packaging, but it worked. My mom and I both liked them. They were like just warm.

They weren't hot, but they were warm enough that like obviously the food got there pretty quick. Um, but yeah, the flavor town fries, I gave a thumbs up to kind of thick cut and, uh, and, and not overly battered and definitely, you know, like fried and a little greasy, but not, not bad. Now here's something that that didn't have a great fry was the fried pickles and ranch. Hmm. The fried pickles are just too, they're battered.

There's too much. There was just a heavy batter on there. And, and they, yeah, I like that. They're little dip pickle slices and the taste wasn't bad, but it was just the batter was a little too thick. Um, but, but not yours. Come did yours come with the ranch? It did.

Yeah. The ranch came. Okay. So I had, I got the same two of the same sides. I got the flavor town fries and the fried pickles and ranch fried, fried pickles did not come with a promised ranch. Uh, they came dry and they were not great dry. I had to use my own ranch and I've used my own ranch and they were fine, but I, I just

like, I wouldn't get these again. I am not a big fan of fried pickles. So you really gotta, even though I like pickles and I like fried food, obviously, but I just, I, I feel like that like, I don't know, would you add batter to them to your point, Mitch? It just doesn't generally work for me. The batter was just, it's too thick, too much batter. It's too thick on this, too thick on this for sure. Yeah.

I, I, I thought these were underwhelming the fries. I thought we're fine. They were decently seasoned. They did, mine did not travel well. It was a big, damp mess. It was just a big, just a big greasy takeout box. By the way, we should mention that the takeout boxes are all heavily branded with Guy Fieri. Like that's it.

Like it's just, they are so, so leaning on his face and his name. But also, speaking of puns, the takeout boxes have a photo, a pic, a caricature of a sauce bottle being squeezed by a snake and it says, don't tread on sauce. Yes. And then it says, Flavortown 1962, which I guess is the year he was born. Yeah. Right. That's when Flavortown was established with his birth.

We've tried to say that like, is it a possibility that that sauce is him? It's getting, it's getting squeezed out in 1962. Is the sauce guy? Don't tread on sauce. Which is possible. That's so funny. I, I lost my mind. It's great.

We, we, we texted about don't tread on sauce. And I love don't tread on sauce. Don't tread on sauce is an insane. Don't, don't tread on sauce. There's, well, cause don't tread on meat is right there. Yes. But they blow past that. That's what, that's what you pointed out immediately.

Yeah. Don't tread on meat. Yeah. Sure. That, that's guy, that's Fieri. That works. But no, don't tread on sauce. Crouching chicken, hidden salad.

That's how we do things here. Yeah. Don't tread on meat makes too much sense. Yeah. Don't tread on sauce. I would, I would pitch that day one and been fired from his writer's room. You obviously don't get our brand. You can't get in that writer's room.

The Sandman's probably in there. I know. Fucking kill to be in there. Why would they get me when they get Alan covert? Now Wags, is that grandma's boy himself? Yeah. Grandma's boy. I, that's, that's everything I got besides desserts.

Like, should I get into dessert or should we, should we move on to Eva? I want to hear, I want to hear from about Eva's meal a little bit. Yeah. Well, one really weird thing about this restaurant is you need to be within the range of delivery for a Bucca di Beppo. You have to be near a Bucca di Beppo to be able to eat at this restaurant because you can't pick it up. It's delivery only.

And the closest one to my house is in Redondo Beach. So briefly I was considering like renting a creepy motel room for a few hours. And then I was like, would they bring it to the front of the gym I go to? Like, could I wait in the lobby of the gym and then get, get it that way? Or I was like, you know how bad we would feel if you were at the gym getting an order of guys, fucking flavor town grill? Don't put your hangups on me, man. I would be so happy.

And then I was like, could I, I know where the Bucca di Beppo is in Redondo Beach. Could I park across the street and just make my delivery like my car across the street and have like some poor guy like walk across the street? All stupid. So basically I, I share an office space with, with two other, uh, you're the worst, uh, writers, Franklin Hardy and Allison Bennett in Eagle Rock. So I was like, if I drive there, it's close enough to the Pasadena one that they will deliver.

And also Allison and Franklin wanted in on the order because they were intrigued. Wow. Um, they're also, uh, my good friends who both independently bought me the Guy Fieri trash can nachos for my birthday and they came to me a day before each other. I had to be gift one of them cause it's a lot of nachos. Um, so I, uh, they ordered the veggie burgers and fries. I ordered, um, I ordered the queso, which no one of you guys tried probably Nick cause it has bacon in it.

Unfortunately. Yeah. Um, but yeah, the queso is like a big bucket, a crazy bucket of queso, uh, much too much. Uh, with pepper jack, SMC, charred corn file for a roasted poblano smoked bacon, green onion, jalapeno, and then it says corn tortillas, but they mean chips. And then I got the, uh, so I tasted, I tasted the queso. Um, it was good. Actually the fry, the chips had some half to them.

They were like the nice thick tortilla chips tasted pretty fresh. And as queso goes, I wish I hadn't had bacon in it because I could have shared a little bit of it. I was like, this is pretty good queso. Um, I got, for my answer, I got the chicken guy, uh, which is a chicken guy classic, which is from another restaurant concept he's testing out. There's some open in Florida and in other cities. Um, chicken guy is like a chicken tenders and chicken sandwich restaurant where the,

I think the thing that distinguishes it is that there's 22 different sauces you can get and you can join the sauce squad. Hey, don't try on sauce. Yeah. Don't try on sauce. And the chicken, uh, photo, like on the box, it's a drawing of a chicken with a Guy Fieri glasses, beard, and hair. That's fun.

Um, so the chicken is him. The chicken is a guy. I like that. Um, and a little, little belly, kind of his shape. Um, so the chicken guy classic is crispy, all natural chicken breast, chicken guys, signature seasoning, special sauce, LTOP and garlic buttered brioche. Guys, this is the best Guy Fieri food I've ever had in my life. Wow.

I'm shocked. Chicken, even like transported chicken, fried chicken sandwich. It was absolutely killer. I loved it. I thought it was fantastic. And it made me really excited for if we ever get a chicken guy in on this coast that I can't wait to try it and join the sauce squad. That's great news.

Weigher and I were already in the sauce squad before, before we even heard of this news. I'm very excited. I'm, I'm very excited to join officially. Where are, where are chicken guys right now? Where are they? Where are they located? They're in different stadiums and there's one in Disney Springs is I was looking at that.

Okay. Um, but yeah, it looks like there's, these are the names of the locations. Aventura Mall, which is in North Miami Beach, Disney Springs, which is in, you know, Florida, there's one in Maryland by at FedEx Field. And there's one in North San Jose. So not so far away. We could actually drive up and go to chicken guy and in guys home turf. Wow.

Wow. Intriguing to know for the future. Maybe I'll force my family to take me there if you're driving north. Looks like there's also one at Levi's stadium, which is the 40, where the 49ers playing. Oh, cool. In Santa Clara. Okay. So yeah, Northern California, they just haven't made it like south of Texas with Sobby's.

Um, and then the last thing I got is I did get the cheesecake challenge. It was delivered. Um, it's a piece of cheesecake, uh, with salted potato chips, crushed pretzels and fudge sauce. Mitch, it was disappointing. Wow. It had a weird mouth feel. I only took a bite and it was like kind of, so, you know, cheesecake can make your mouth kind of feel slimy if it's not like, if it's not really hidden.

I did not pass the cheesecake challenge. I failed. This is very. I bailed. You failed and bailed. Yeah. That's, I also, I, you took the cheesecake challenge too. I also took the cheesecake challenge and what the fuck?

I failed and bailed. Everyone failed and bailed. So the, here's the issue with the cheesecake. Eva's right that like, yeah, it, it, it was, it's not like a great quality cheesecake, but my, my bigger issue was it's not any greater than the sum of its parts. It's, it doesn't feel like there's any sort of, uh, coherence to this concept. And it's, it's, it's cheesecake with potato chips, crushed pretzels and fudge sauce. It's exactly what it sounds like and it tastes like a combination of those four elements.

And it doesn't really, it doesn't really make sense together. It's just sort of like this, this salty, sweet, uh, you know, abalgamation that doesn't amount to anything more than just the individual components. And to me, it's just like, well, this isn't just a very well thought out dessert. This is just kind of like a, hey, wouldn't it be edgy if we put potato chips and pretzels on a cheesecake with some chocolate? And I don't know. I just, I wish there was more, I wish there was more thought behind this just at a conceptual

level. It was pretty boring. Wow. Also potato chips and pretzels get soggy when you refrigerate them and by the very nature of the cheesecake challenge being in a, like, you know, pre-made, if, if you were just at like a guys, like, uh, Vegas kitchen and you ordered this, they could probably stick those bad boys in the cheesecake and drop it on the table. They'd still be crispy.

It would be fantastic, but this should not travel. It's not supposed to travel. It shouldn't be in a fridge fully assembled. It's disappointing. Yeah. That was a bummer. Wags, guess what? Not to be all M night Shyamalan on you.

Maybe the M and M night stands for Mitch because I got a fucking twist ending wigs. Mitch night Shyamalan. My twist ending is I ordered both desserts. Wow. That's right. Who would have thought me, Mitch would order both desserts, but that's exactly what I did. I got the Choco whiskey cheesecake, which is whiskey creme anglaise, did I say that correctly? Whisky creme anglaise, salted whiskey caramel sauce and crumbled toffee bar.

And so it's a Choco whiskey cheesecake, but guess what? Another M night twist. It's just cake. That's not cheesecake. It is, it is cake. Like there's cake in it. It doesn't make any sense. Like we were eating it.

I was like, this is supposed to be cheesecake. This is cake. Why is it called cheesecake? That's bizarre. It's like a misprint on the website and that they never queue quality checks. I mean, if you look at the website, it just looks like cake. There is like nothing about it. It's a fucking honking big piece of cake.

It's huge. Wags, are you looking at it? It's fucking cake. I'm looking at it. It's cake. It doesn't make sense. It looks like chocolate cake, but it is labeled Choco whiskey cheesecake. No idea.

It's like a giant claim jumper cake is what it reminds me of. Yes. And guess what? Here's another fucking plot twist, Wags. It was my bite of the night. My mom and I loved it. We loved the Choco whiskey cheesecake or regular cake. My mom was shocked that it was so moist.

It was extremely moist and she was like, this is moist and it's not just moist because it's been in the fridge. This is actually, the cake is moist. That's what she was saying. And I agree with her. It was fantastically, it was fantastically delicious. Wow. That's really something.

Yeah. I'm surprised. I'm glad that, I guess you know which of the desserts to get if you're going to order from Guy Fieri's, the cheesecake that's not actually a cheesecake. Wags, this is the type of thing at the end here that like brought my score up. It was good. Fascinating. And I also had a Diet Coke.

Eva, did you have more of your order? I just tried, I tried the fries and I also was very impressed with the quality of the fries. That's it. So I got the, the other items I didn't discuss, my veggie ones. I got the Morgan's veggie burger, which is a scratch made veggie patty, L-T-O-P-L top, I guess you could say it, crispy onions, donkey sauce, toasted brioche. By the way, looking at the menu, they do detail the ingredients of the donkey sauce.

I don't think it's vegetarian. Donkey sauce is mayo, roasted garlic, mustard, Worcestershire and lemon. So that they are, they brazenly slather that on their veggie burger, on which they even take the step of emitting cheese. So you might, you might for a second be like, ooh, is this even vegan friendly? But no, it's not. It's not even vegetarian. It includes fish byproduct.

So, you know, not the end of the world from my perspective, but it's, I know for some people if you're strict about it, that would be, that would be a bummer. Another bummer here is that this just didn't have a lot of flavor. It just was just a big, I don't know, it tasted like just a, just a fucking source of nutrition. You know what I mean? Like, like, it was like a burger shaped bar, if that makes sense. You have like a nutrition bar that's just like, this doesn't have any flavor to it, but I'm just eating this for sustenance.

It's kind of what this was flavor wise and texturally. And also the, it's a big fucking swing. I fried up some, I fried up some Beyond Burgers last night for dinner. Beyond Burgers are great. Impossible Burgers, we've talked about at length. It's a big swing to make your own scratch made veggie patty in the age of Beyond and Impossible Burgers, which are both so good at replicating the original. And I don't, if anything, it's, it's kind of hubristic.

I would have, I would have preferred a Beyond or an Impossible to the scratch made one, which was just kind of like a, a flavorless mush. And I think that, oh, and then I also didn't touch on the Mac Daddy mac and cheese. Kind of a nutty quality to this one. It seemed to have a lot of Parmesan. It doesn't actually list which cheeses are in this. I just feel like this one would, this one disappoints if what you're looking for is, you have a, you have an itch that you need to scratch and that itches is eating some

Mac and cheese. This definitely doesn't satisfy that. This is like a cheesy pasta dish. So yeah. And I, I don't know, it's just not, not gooey enough. I think that was my issue. It didn't have enough goo, gooing up. I need more goo.

I wanted goo. Where's my goo? Well, we should get to our final thoughts on this ghost kitchen, Guy Fieri's Flavortown kitchen. So here's how this works. We will each go around, I mean, we've done this fucking 299 times, I guess at this point, but I'll recap. We'll each go around.

We'll give our closing argument, if you will, on this particular chain and, and by giving it a score from zero to five forks, Eva, you are a guest. We'll begin with you. Um, Guy Fieri, I've followed him since the early days. I feel like he is my son. I feel like he is my child. I watched him take his first steps with the gringo roll. Then I was proud of him when he graduated to the Gaitalian nachos that I thought were

good in New York. And now with this new thing, I'm excited for him. Like I said, Chicken Guy was the best Guy Fieri menu item I've had. I liked the queso points off for the cheesecake challenge. Four forks. Wow. Four forks. Wow.

Yeah. What a score. I'm biased. Wow. He's my son. Wow. Wow. Uh, Mitch, what do you think?

Why is there going to be a little stinker on this episode? I can tell already. Well, oh, I got a sneeze coming. Oh, sorry. Keep that in. Paid off immediately. That's good content. Um, so, you know, when I first saw Guy, I, I, you know, I, I, I labeled him in unfairly.

I was like, well, kind of a douche, this guy. I don't like this guy. Right. It's not true. The guy gives back. He seems like a, like truly like a friendly man, uh, people, you know, he, he, he seems to do good things for the restaurant world. And I like that he, that he goes around and he, he, he, he, he showcases all these diners,

drive-ins and dives. What will the world be without, without, what, what would the world be without triple D? Why exit? It's, it's a, it's a show that you can toss on when you're traveling or when you're bored in your house or you're going to do, it's, it's good, it's good background stuff. And it's also fun to, it's just fun to watch in general. If you're, if you, if you, if you need something to watch, it's a great show.

Great show. I, I, I, I, I once played a character named Chaz Duffy, which was basically a guy Fieri clone. And you know, I dressed up like Guy and I got to tell you, it felt good. I liked it when I was dressed up like Guy. I get it. I get why he likes to do it. It's fun.

He's, he's a confident person and he feels good about himself. And you know, I wish I felt better about the food this time, but I don't, this, this was better than, than, than the New York city trip. There was some plus size to it in my bite of the night. That Choco whiskey cheesecake was, was really fantastic. I can't go for for Xiva. I'm sorry. Uh, I don't mean to do this to your son.

I'm going to go, I'm going to go 3.25 for X Wow. Three for X one time. Well, yeah. One, one time, three for X one time. Still a good score. He, look, I'm excited to eat at chicken guy or the ultimate. I want, I want a text wasabi's. I want like, I want the guy experience because I think a lot of Americans would like that

too. Unfortunately, you know, the last year has been devastating to the restaurant industry, but also wouldn't you love to go to a text wasabi's when the world opened up? Why? How fun would that fucking be? Give me that. I want that experience. I, I agree.

I mean, I wish if anything, I feel like this, this concept is just still. Not as extreme as I was hoping. You know, I just, I still feel like I would have liked to, to, to get to have this be a little bit more ferried. I'm not sure how much input he has on, he had on this menu or if this was basically kind of a licensing agreement that he signed off on, I would assume as a chef, he'd want to be involved, but I, but I honestly don't know regardless. I mean, I was just underwhelmed by everything and I wanted to like this.

I like guy. I think he's entertaining. I think he's a good host. Like you mentioned, Mitch, when he showed Triple D highlights countless local businesses and gives them a permanent increase in customers. Like after an episode airs, these places explode and then it stays at that level indefinitely. Like it's, it's, it's kind of amazing what his show does. It's transformative for a lot of these restaurants that he's continued to help during the quarantine.

I like the man. I just, I just was disappointed by his ghost kitchen. Well, look, we've said this before that we don't, we don't like ghost kitchens. We, we, we've established that. Maybe that's just the issue. Maybe that's what we're running into. We keep having these underwhelming experiences with ghost kitchens and maybe that's the thing. Maybe it's just not meant to be where you have a, you don't have a brick and mortar

location. You're using someone else's, you know, someone else's kitchen, someone else's staff. You are immediately launching this in dozens of cities and, you know, with, with hundreds of locations overnight, you're giving people a, you know, mass distributing and an array of ingredients and expecting them to be assembled correctly in each of these myriad different places by staff that are just like, you know, making other stuff. So I don't know. I mean, I, yeah, ghost kitchens were maybe the issue here.

Maybe it's not guy. Maybe it's the cotton. Maybe it's the ghost kitchens. Maybe we need to get those, maybe we need to bust these ghost kitchens. Get them out of here. We should. Let's bust them. I agree.

I'm down to bust them. I'm down to bust them. Bust them up. Hopefully things reopening will be like either a rethinking of the ghost kitchen concept where it's not like, you know, so as Eva mentioned, so relying on these predatory apps or sometimes like some subterfuge where it's, you don't even know where you're ordering from and you didn't realize you're actually ordering this, this pizza that looked good is actually from a Chuck E cheeses, you know, like maybe we, maybe we get rid of all that shit and are

just forthright with what the product is and where it's coming from. And are instead of trying to launch these places overnight or scaling them appropriately. Nick, well, I hope to God it's not like when the mayor's henchmen and ghostbusters shut down the containment unit and more ghosts are spread, more ghost kitchens are spread throughout the country. Imagine that. Imagine if that's all this podcast becomes is reviewing different ghost kitchens. Dear God.

What is that going to be? Hey, we're, we're reviewing Richard Carnivore. Richard Carn's new barbecue restaurant operates out of closed quiz nose. We're reviewing OJ's juicery. It could happen. Why is it could happen? I hope not. Oren, Oren's Julia Simpson.

It's better. I went with the, I went with a guy joke and you went with the actual thought out joke. I want, my joke would have been in guys menu. Yeah. OJ's, OJ's juicery instead of orange. The Blue Sobby was, was a delight and the Blue Sobby earns it an extra half fork. So I'm landing on two forks for a painful two forks for Guy Fieri's Flavortown kitchen. I don't like scolding Eva's son, but I was, I was disappointed by this experience, unfortunately.

Yikes. I, I, there's something, I forgot one of my menu items. Oh boy. Does it change your score at all? It might. Well, my score right now is 3.25. Wow. Will, will this change my score?

I also got the Italian stallion salad, which is old school chopped Italian salad, pepperoni, prosciutto, pepper, Chini, olives, roasted peppers, provolone, buffalo mozzarella, red wine, vinaigrette. I'll say this, it came with two bags of Ken's Italian dressing, Ken's golden Italian dressing. But I think it was, I think it was like the base was Pertucci salad. And I think Pertucci has a pretty good salad and Yikes. My mom didn't like the croutons, but the salad was damn good. Wow.

I was shocked. The meat in there was good. The cheese in there was good. It was, it was pretty fantastic. And you know what? It does change my fork score. I'm going to give it a 3.4. 3.4?

Yeah. 3.40. Forks. I'm trying to calculate where the, how, how many tines this is exactly. Four out of 10 tines. A 10 fine, 10 tined fork. A 10 tined fork. There's four tines on it.

It changed my score, Yikes. It changed your score and your fork form factor. Yeah. 3.4 forks. Mitch Knight-Chamelana indeed. What a twist to your score. Can I interject with one thing that I forgot to mention about Guy Fieri, too? Please.

Before we close him off, I texted you guys this. But when we were researching this episode, I was looking on Amazon for Guy Fieri stuff and I found a flag that it's the, it's just a flag of him kind of punching and it says Flavortown and it's an orange flag. It says Guy Fieri Flavortown flag, three by five feet, heavyweight, thick fabric, double-stitched, man cave, wall decor, funny poster for college dorm room parties gift. There's only one review on it. And it's a one-star review and the review, it's from a guy named Jose.

The headline is, Wow. Wow. Wow. And he says, when I got the item, it was ripped in half and now I am screwed. I just loved it. Three people found this helpful. He's fucking screwed. What happened to the kids?

I'm sure. I'm fucked. What is the situation? Yeah. What did he, you were like, what did he promise, Nick? Yeah. Maybe. I was disappointing.

Maybe he, maybe he promised it for the dorm party. Maybe he, maybe at the frat house, he was going to put it up and now we screwed. The party's not going to go off as planned. Oh man, I'm never going to make theta buy now. I'm fucked. I'm fucked. Dude, you're one job. Your one job for this, for rush week was to get a flag that wasn't ripped in two, dude.

I fucked up. Can I still be in theta pie? Yeah, but you got to get in the hard way. 60 paddling's my boy. Oh, no, no, not 60 paddling. We'll be back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys. We are with a great Eva Anderson.

Hi Eva. Hi. And hey. Hey. Yes, Mitch. Nick, before you get into the segment, I was going to say that Eva, just like that flag review, when I, when I looked at the reviews on the app, I don't know if I think I maybe have shared this already, but it was a ton of people being like, I can't get my money

back for things that I ordered through the flavor, the flavor kitchen app or whatever that, like they didn't come, like people like, so maybe, maybe it's hard to get refunds through guy. Maybe we found, maybe we found the one thing that guy is, that the guy doesn't do well is refunds. Why? Maybe that's why that flag guy was screwed. It's the new, it's the new scam of the internet age is that you get your refund in store credit.

So you got your camel box, you got your guy box, flavor box, yeah, you get your flavor box. What do you do with them? You just use it for donkey sauce or something like that. Hey, speaking of reviews, it's time for a classic segment to rise from its grave. It's another edition. Yelp. Do it again.

I need some reviews. Yelp. Not just any reviews. Yelp. I need some one-star yelps. Really at the top of my range, I should have taken it down an octave. So I got some one-star reviews. I told you to start it again just for listeners who didn't know that you took that like three

times. There's not a click count. It just goes right into it. Here, let me try it. Can I try? Okay. All right. Hold on.

Yelp. I need some reviews. Yelp. Not just any reviews. Yelp. One-star review. Yelp. Yelp.

Wow. Great rendition, Mitchell. Lovely pipes on you. You're doing the songs now? I'm saying howdy-ho. You're saying Ungepochka and doing the songs? What's next? Maybe that's how it will be for 200 episodes.

I'll tell you what's not next. I'm not writing those fucking intros you do. No, thank you. So I've got some Yelp reviews, some one-star reviews of Guy Fieri's at the Burbank Airport, the aforementioned Burbank Airport, and even Mitch, after each review, you can chime in by rating it by the Yelp scale of useful, funny, or cool, or you can say none of the above. So useful, funny, or cool are the flags you can click, the buttons you can click if you

want to review or review. Here we go. I'm Adam M., in North Hollywood, Los Angeles, California. Not sure why asking to see a menu saves you a spot in line, but apparently here it does. My girlfriend and I were in line, fully committed, but the indecisive hens clucking away in front of us were seated first, and at a nicer table. Meanwhile, we were seated at a high bar with low chairs, facing the wall. We may as well be blindfolded to wait for this execution.

I was expecting to go to Flavortown, instead, instead, I'm in unfavorable town. Wow. Did Son of Sam write that? It is a little depraved. It's a little weird. There's only one way to review this one, Yikes. Cool. It is cool.

This one's cool. This guy's cool. This guy complaining about the hens in front of him, and then, yes, facing the wall and being executed. I mean, it's just the coolest review I've heard. Not Flavortown, but unfavorable town. A cool inner life. I think of this guy as his guy's inner life and how he sees the world is very cool and

chill. I think his girlfriend loves dating him. Next one. This is true. Honey, you're squawking on like a freaking hen. Why don't you join all those other hens? Stop henpecking me. What a piece of shit.

It was funny, cool, helpful, what was it? Your choices are useful, funny, or cool, or none of the above. Okay. I think most of them are going to be none of the above. Yeah, yeah, cool. Cool for this one. Yeah. All right.

Next one. This is from Zoey S. Hmm. From Southfield, Michigan. Seriously disgusting. Ordered the chicken fingers and fries because it was the cheapest meal on the menu. I thought it was a pretty safe option considering it's pretty hard to mess that up. Well, well, well.

Turns out my king, Guy Fieri, messes it up. So nasty. The seasoning was so horrendous. It started out just so, so because I was hungry but just got worse. I was upset. I had so much left and I didn't want to take it with me on the plane because I hated it and regretted getting it. I wanted to ask for a refund but I ate two of the three tenders.

What a fool I am. I make the worst decisions. Oh, it took a turn. Yeah. This one's funny. Yeah, it's pretty funny. I think that's the girlfriend of the first guy, right? But the dates line up.

They're pretty close. I make the worst decisions like my boyfriend who calls me a clucking hen. I got to get out of this relationship. He's going to kill me. Also, by the way, you ate two of the three tenders? I mean, I've done that. She's hungry. But I mean, most of something that's bad, I do that all the time.

Yeah, but you can't then be like, man, I should have returned it. You ate two thirds of it. In Zoey S's defense, I think the explanation is wanted to get a refund but because they'd eaten two of the three, felt like they couldn't get a refund. Well here's the one thing. You can't get a refund anyway. Shut up. Second of all, don't eat two thirds of it.

I mean, look, you can get a refund if it's like insane. I'm sorry, but like, how bad were these chicken tenders that you ate two thirds of them? If you ate two thirds of them, then shut up. You can't get a refund. All of her Yelp reviews end with I make the worst decisions because that would be really fun. I mean, look, I like that these people like Guy. Yes.

So but God, it just, people getting complaining at restaurants annoys me, like unless you were given sludge, like the only time that I feel like when we went to caros, I feel like you could be like, this is really bad. Can I get my money back or not eat here? That was like really the only time where I was like, okay, it was bad enough to return it, but. But we didn't even do that. No, we didn't.

I can't even see. I can't see a scenario where you ate two thirds of the chicken tenders and you want it, you want to refund, but I mean, she, she is funny, but also like an airport restaurant, not just a normal restaurant being like, I need a refund of the chicken tenders at this airport bar. Yeah. Fuck off. Yeah.

That's not how life works. Yeah. Yeah. Eva, useful, funny, cool, none of the above. Cool. All right. Cool. Another cool.

Yeah. This is from Brad C from Sacramento, California, our state's capital. I ordered the righteous ring burger with fries. I specifically asked for it to be medium well. I gave the guy my credit card and when I signed it, I put zero as the tip. Usually if the service is good, I will provide a cash tip after the meal. He seemed to notice the zero tip on my signed receipt. Unbeknownst to me, he printed pink on how I want it cooked.

When the burger was ready, I bit into a raw burger with no onion rings. With a flight awaiting me, there was no time to demand they redo it and I wouldn't trust them after. Stay away from this place. Funny. Cool. Yeah. Yeah.

This guy sucks. Yeah. This guy's bad. I'm going to give you a zero tip on the machine, but if you earn it, I'll give you a cash tip. Would you know? What you know is this? Fuck you. Which is just such bullshit.

You know that this guy doesn't really fucking give? Yes. Look, if there's exceptional service in his fucking depraved brain, he'll toss someone like five bucks, but it's fucking awful. I thought I got too mad at the last reviewer when I told him to shut up because I looked at you guys and it seemed like I got too mad at the person. Well, I think Zoe was a little bit self-effacing, a little bit like, I fucked this up. This was dumb.

I shouldn't have gone here and ate too much of this bad food. I can't help but tell anyone who's reviewing stuff on the help to shut up. I want them all to shut up. I need this guy to shut up too. He needs to shut up as well. Shut the fuck up. I'm going to use this airport bar as like where I do my social engineering experiments to like, it's like fuck off, and then you fuck off, but cool.

I was at this restaurant pretending to be blind to see how I was served. They didn't give me extra attention, so I didn't tip. By the way, sometimes I will pay in cash and I'll cross out where their tip is and I'll write in cash. I'll write it right on the receipt so they know that I'm going to give them in cash. Instead of like you just writing zero and then like being like, will they pass my test? You could do something as easy as writing in cash so that they know that there's a tip coming for them.

You could write in cash after you pass one of my fucking quizzes. Your piece of shit. Jigsaw is the guy. Was it Jigsaw? You know what? The username is Brad C, but the avatar is Jigsaw. Oh my God. He might have just doxxed himself.

We're going to play a game. Give me my burger, well done. You must include an onion ring. Was this from Yelp or was this from, was this a spiral from the book of saw? It might be a spiral. Actually, now I'm remembering that I was looking, I don't remember if I found, if I copy pasted this from Yelp or the book of saw. I might have been looking at the book of saw.

So I think this might be, this is a spiral. I'm reading this and then the rest of the review goes like this. I angrily tricycled away on my tricycle. It seems like he's, it seems like Jigsaw. Yeah, it probably was. Tricycled away on my tricycle? That's how you'd say that. I guess so.

You bicycle away on your bicycle. You tricycle away on your tricycle. All right, all right. It was good. You're right. Yeah, it was good. Yes, I am a puppet. And I have a deep voice.

That was an unsatisfied Yelp or just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's up to the feedback. Yeah. Hey, Doughboys. Eva Andersen here, long time listener, first time writer, just wanted to drop a fun fact regarding the Umami Burger podcast with guest Heather Campbell. When she was describing the Dutch restaurant Feebo, which features croquettes behind little doors, Nick remarked that a chain so inhuman should have made its way to America by now.

In fact, it has already come and gone with a restaurant called the Automat. When it opened its doors in 1912, the New York City Automat was a sensation with diners lining up to buy slices of pie and other pre-made meals out of little glass doors. The Automat was also known as one of the cheapest dining options in town. In 1960, famously stingy comedian Jack Benny threw a party for the New York elite at the Automat as a publicity stunt. He handed out rolls of nickels and told his guests to have a good time. As America's focus shifted to fast food, the Automats gradually shut down the last one

closing in 1991. Most of the New York locations were converted to Burger Kings, but oh, what a remarkable moment in chain restaurant history. Loving the show, your pal Eva, our associate producer, the Drop King Robert Persinger found this email from 2015. Wow! That's so fun! Sent within our first block of episodes.

How about that, Eva? That's you? Eva, it's you? That's Eva. I'm just not even asking a question, I'm just like lecturing you. That's beautiful. I love it. I loved it.

I thought it was just so fun. I love your name. Robert, DK, that was great. You know, you should have spent similar time on the drop to make the drop special, but... So there's that blast for the past, but we also have an email from Lucy. Lucy writes, last night, Ravenous and Reckless, my sister and I ordered out back, and while I'd give the overall experience three forks, one five fork moment was witnessing my sister take the bread out of its bag, look me in the eyes, say, don't judge me, and proceed

to dunk the end of the loaf into a little plastic cup of butter and take an enormous chomp of it, like a medieval king, biting into a chicken leg. This rules. Honestly, I was touched that she trusted me enough to do that in front of me. My question is, have you ever had to ask someone not to watch or judge what you're about to do to your meal? What are your food behaviors so shameful you have to preface them with a warning? Personally, I'm self-conscious of how many dips I'll use for one fast food meal.

I like variety! Wow. Well, if I'm ever on a date or eating with a significant other, I usually tell them to just look away during a meal. Don't look at me! Don't look at me! You know, for me, what it is, to me, and this is not going to be that crazy, I feel like. I mean, I've definitely done that.

That's private time, though, where you're dunking a thing in butter. My mom and sister can see that, and I don't care. Here's the thing where I truly feel gross is when I'm eating spicy food, say wings, and I start to get nose-runny, and then that is why I don't want anyone to fucking... I mean, it's gross, too. I mean, it is gross. So if my nose starts to water from the spice, I wish I had a Dracula cape, wigs. I don't want anyone to see me with my nose running and my fingers spicy, you can't do

anything about it. It's fucking off. That's where I just... I think that is... There is no God in those moments. God wouldn't create a creature like that, where his nose is running and he's fucking chowing down between bones and he's just a fucking monster. That to me, that's the bad moment.

Great answer. Yeah, similarly with super spicy wings or like a super spicy soup. Yeah, I don't want anyone around me in those situations. The drippy nose is fucking disgusting, it makes me so self-conscious, I'd never want to do that in public or inside of anyone. Eva, any food behavior that is so shameful, you can only do it on your own? I've been known to roll a hot cob of corn on a stick of butter to butter it and ruin the butter, but it's so fun.

I love that. You can't do that. That's a good move. You can't do that in front of company, man, it's just like personal. That's a good family one though, I would do that in front of family. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool. You know what?

They'd fucking follow suit, the whole family would be doing it. Everyone has to be on board for it to work. One person thinks it's gross, it ruins the whole corn experience. Try it out. No, I love that. This is adjacent to that and this isn't exactly answering the question, but it's the thing I would like to do in private because I'm bad at it is opening shellfish, particularly something like a blue crab or something, like one of those smaller crabs that are just like

they're like all these little bones and the exoskeleton is just it's a bunch of small pieces of meat within like a bunch of fucking hard exterior. Those are so fucking difficult to extract the meat from that I just like I don't look at me fuck this up and see how little meat I'm getting out of these fucking things. What's the other one? Oh, like a crayfish, a crayfish, a crawfish, a crawdad, whatever you call it, same sort of thing. I'm just like fuck, I've been to those sorts of places before and I'm just like I'm fucking

this up. I'm wasting so much meat just because this is difficult for me to do and I don't have and it wasn't raised in the bayou. I don't have the technique to get this to extract the tender morsel from within the spiny skeleton. Wags, come over to a Mitchell lobster dinner. We'll show you how to rip that lobster open. I'd love to do that.

What a treat. You know what? That's probably will be the next time I see in person will be when I visit Quincy, Massachusetts, you're still there and we have a lobster dinner together. Hey, Wags, maybe we'll even do a show here in the new year when things open back up again. You never know. In Quincy? I don't know about in Quincy, but nearby Quincy.

I don't know if there's a venue in Quincy, but I mean shellfish and corn, like other messy, that's like a messy, messy foods. By the way, we started the episode that I forgot about corn. You never forget about corn, we're ending the episode talking about corn. There we go. Wow. Full circle. A perfect 300.

Yeah. What a book. Yeah. What a bookend rather. And there we go. If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain Restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcasts at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-go-doe, that's 830-463-6844 and to get the Dowboys double or weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Plate

Club at patreon.com slash dowboys. Eva Anderson, always a delight to have you here and just to talk with you on or off the pod. Thank you so much for being here. Anything you'd like to plug at this time? I want to plug you guys for 300 episodes, my best friends and the best podcast in the game. Wow.

Thank you, Eva. God bless you. And thank you to everybody who listens to this show and we're happy, hey, 200 more wigs, four more years, it's going to happen. Wow. 200 more, I mean, as a baseline, we're going to go to 550. Stop paying ourselves. We're just going to keep this fucking shit going and keep this crazy train running.

Don't say that, you can't tell them how the sausage is made. To 300, to not quite 300 more. To not quite 300 more. There we are. And you know what? I hope we keep hitting those with you, Eva, that it's always fun to have you here for the big ones. Always a delight.

Always. My pleasure. And hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time, for the Burger Boy, I'm the Spoon Man. What the? No. On the next Doe Boys Double, BK is back and so is our pal Griffin. Blank checks Griffin Newman joins to discuss the Burger King Kids Club.

We're talking KidVid, Jaws, Boomer, Wheels, FrailBot, and yes, even Snaps. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at Patreon.com slash Doe Boys.