Doughboys - Houston's with Elena Crevello and Chelsea Davison

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

Elena Crevello (@celenago) and Chelsea Davison (@chelsea_davison) join the 'boys to talk their podcast Podstruck, writers' room snacks, and pregnancy cravings before a review of Houston's. Plus a new edition of Snack or Wack. Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/may-25/star-wars-openshttps://www.bonappetit.com/restaurants-travel/article/hillstonehttps://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/05/dining/houston-hillstone-restaurant-group.htmlhttps://www.blackbirdspyplane.com/p/houstons-pasadena-the-coolest-restaurant-in-lahttps://hillstone.com/about/EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/doughboys Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Mitch, exciting weekend for comedy here. That's right, Wags. The Napa Boys is opening in theaters. You are in this movie.

I am. Myself, Armand Weitzman, Nicarasi, Paul Rust. Wow. People should go see the Napa Boys. But if you are in Seattle, come see the Do Boys live Sunday, March 1st at the Neptune Theater with guest, Jordan, Morris. That's right. Speaking of

very funny people, Jordan Morris. I mean... Jordan Morris will be there at least. Yes. Look, there's a lot of exciting stuff in comedy going on this weekend and also we're doing our tour. Also, the dough boys are doing a live show. We're going to Portland and Seattle. Tickets are still available for Seattle at the Neptune Theater, Sunday

March 1st. Come and join us. Our guest, Jordan Morris. And Mitch, we can announce the chain. Yes. Taco Time Northwest. That's right. We're going to Taco Time Northwest. We review... Because it's different. It's different than the other Taco Time, which we were previously reviewed. And that we thought was just fine?

We didn't like it. We didn't like it. But now we're going to Taco Time Northwest. We're doing Taco Time Northwest. Last time we went to a regional taco chain that was not located in the parts where you typically expect. Emma almost died. Emma almost died. So we'll see.

What happens this time? She may be skipping it up there. But Taco Time Northwest. And then also, I guess I can say in Seattle where we're going as well. No, that's in Seattle. That is where we're going in Seattle. Oh, well, guess what? I can also say.

in Portland where we're going too. Where's that? McMinnamins. That's right. McMinnamins in Portland. McMinnamins in Portland, Taco Time Northwest in Seattle, Sunday, March 1st, Neptune Theater, Jordan Morris, tickets at birdfuck.com slash live. Come and say hello. Birdfuck.com slash live. In the spring of 1977, two Georges forever changed their respective industries with two seismic launches.

In film, George Lucas created the modern franchise with his original IP, Star Wars. And in food, George Beale and two investment partners founded what Bon Appetit has called America's favorite restaurant. But while Star Wars has since reached a depressing point of brand oversaturation under its corporate stewardship by the Disney Death Star, Beale's chain has smartly limited its scale to maintain the same pristine level of quality for nearly 50 years. First opened in Nashville and named for a city in Texas, the company shies away from brand unity, operating its four dozen locations with mostly overlapping menus under 15 different labels to make each feel local and bespoke. An expansive 2016 profile of the firm by Andrew Nolton noted the attention to detail that speaks to its renowned consistency in food and service. For instance, no server ever has to cover more than three tables, tables that are bolted to the floor so they'll never wobble.

And while a wide demographic patronizes the nationwide new American chain, it's also a celebrity hotspot. The bear creator Christopher Storer is a regular, as is chef David Chang, as is rapper and actor, Shaquille O'Neill. In 2010, much like how Star Wars retconned its title to Star Wars Episode 4 A New Hope, the white tablecloth eatery changed its core brand from being shared with the flagship music city location to a different moniker. Though just like Han shooting first and Grito not shouting McClunky, true believers will forever be loyal to its original name. This week on Do Boys, Houston's, We don't have a problem as we review the original Hillstone Restaurant, Houston's. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Nick Tiger Wiger along with my co-host. A guy who wants to diversify the stocks in his broth IRA, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Hmm. Brevity is the soul of wit, they say. Broth IRA. You're the one who read it. Roth IRA is the normal one, so that's what it's a pun on. Yeah, no shit.

My note for that is. Oh, thanks for following up by also thinking I'm dumb. I don't know what a Roth IRA is. I'm talking it out myself. I think my issue with that one is you can't have individual securities in a Roth IRA. Who said brevity is the soul of a fuck. That's Oscar Wild. I already already, oh, oh, Oscar.

I think it was Oscar Wild, right? Just thinking about Oscar Wild. Yeah, look it up. Oscar Mitch, you cad. Do you mean brevity is the soul of wit? Yeah, that's what I said, right? Okay, Shakespeare.

It's from Hamlet. Well, well, well, well. It's a Hamlet. How about that? It's always Shakespeare. It's like Walt Chamberlain holding a record in the end game. I just guess Shakespeare. Hamlet went online.

We got Hamnet now. Preferred broth IRA. You preferred broth IRA to Hamlet's gone online. It's Hamlet now? I like that one. I thought it was good. Thanks for all the laughs, happy eating. Andrea F. from Anchorage,

a.k.a. the girl who once facetined Mitch from a bar in Alaska with Brooks and Rutherford. Oh, my God, yes. And also met Amelia at my cousin's wedding. Yeah. I met her at my friend Colleen's wedding. Wow. She's cool. She was awesome.

She said meeting me was like meeting Tom Cruise. Wow. She's right. I will never forget that. She says meeting you, like meeting Tom Cruise. Wait, what's her name again? I'm sorry. Andrea F.

Andrea, yes. Yeah. I remember when Brooks and Rutherford FaceTime me from Alaska. You ever been up to Alaska? No. One of the freak states? No, they were doing a show up there. I think they were doing like a comedy show up there.

He did a whole tour of Alaska, didn't you? I think Brooks maybe filmed up there. Yeah, and Gaborz did a show up in Alaska, too. I would love to go. Alaska's on my list. Yeah. A place I want to go. Wow.

I mean, well, I should go, I guess. I don't know. We talked about doing a show up there. You had female fans up there. Go up there and get some polar poon tang. Polar pooh-oh, that polar poohan is ice cold. Mitch, we got to talk about the new thing. You know, here we have our issues with headgum studios, but they finally addressed

something that you and I were very worried about building security. They installed a face scan. to enter, it's either scans your face or I think you can put in your butthole too, so you get uploaded it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it into your butt hole. I put Jemmy's butthole in, so I just pick her up and turn around. Perfect.

That's handy. Headgum's gone online. Headgum's gone online. Headmet. Ah, you owe me over. Isn't that nice? Yeah, it's good. It's good that you, we just had key fobs, and now it was recording your face every time you come

in case people want to steal microphones. Is that what it is? Nothing gets you in the mood to do a comedy podcast, like being reminded of the surveillance state. Yes, yeah. I get you out, because I have a ring camera. Yeah. And Ring had the big Super Bowl ad that was very bad.

What was that? I didn't see it. It was basically like, we're like constantly surveillance. It's like we're constantly surveillance. They're going to help you find your lost dog using everyone's ring cameras as like a network of cameras to look out and find the dog. But really it's like you're just saying it's for dogs, but it's really for the people. Yeah, it's like ice hunting basically. That's like what I mean, I think that that's what they, that's basically what is.

I don't want to give the details of where I live too much away, but it's not an issue. It's not an issue for my place is what I have to say. Your ring camera points at your butt hole. It's in the toilet. Mitch, I know you got a little drop. Emma hit him with a drop. This week on dough boys. Brise.

Do boys is the dough boys. Do boys. Do boys. Welcome to dough boys. This week, Tom Sharpling is here. Hey. What's up, Tom? Thanks for her to meet on the show.

What's up? Talking fries. Tom, what do you think of fries? I love them. Wow. Shit. Yeah. Wow.

I don't think they're bad. Well, it's come the time where we're going. to give fried. I want to talk about the secret sauce. We've never really talked about the secret sauce in general. The secret sauce is pesticides, as well as cornetically modified breakfast cereals. I bought my own food from home. Well, hey, Doe fam, Wendy's was always good.

Jux. At Jux the position. Thank you, Jux. Wow, unfortunate timing for Jux because Wendy's is just shuddering a bunch of restaurants claiming it's a rebuilding year. When was this email sent? That's the big question to me. Let's see here.

This email was sent May 2025. Okay. I think Wendy's has actually gotten worse. Was that before, was that before, we had brought up the rumor of them changing to shredded lettuce. Yes. Around that time. This would have been the aftermath of Munch Madness 10.

And the tournament of tournament of champions of champions where Wendy's was crowned the ultimate winner, if you remember. Right. Yeah. So we were like, that's a, hey, maybe Wendy. is back and it turns out Wendy's is very much not back. That was maybe Wendy's last hurrah kind of, right? It might have been it.

Yeah, that might be it. Last trophy in their case. Doe Boys Much Madness. You know what's funny is that headgum has gone online and then I came here and I sent three texts and was on the headgum Wi-Fi and none of them went through. So the Wi-Fi isn't working. I think they need.

Are you on staff or desk? Is that the issue? Guess just guess doesn't work anymore or something? Maybe. Maybe. I think they need more data for the face scanner. So you can upload it directly with the NSA. Yeah.

Mitch, very, very drops at burnfuck.com. Very, very excited to have our guests on the podcast. Wait, hold on quickly. Wu Tang is here. Wu Tang is here? He's in L.A. Wow. He was just, he was like, I'm going to come to L.A.

This is Mitch's friend, Wootang. He's like, he's like, I'm going to be in L.A. on Tuesday. He said this like on Sunday. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? He's here. It feels like a classic Wu-Tang move, right? Yeah. Him and his mom are here.

Just if it possibly shows up. Hey, how about that? My mom and sister are here. They're helping me clean. They're helping me clean. We went to Safi's last night for dinner. How fun. Very good.

But they are, I'm an old, I, look, as a 43-year-old man, it is embarrassing to say that, like, my mom and sister helped me spring clean quite a bit of a time. But I am, I have a bit of a hoarding problem. It's the truth. I'm going to be honest about it. I have a hoarding problem. We both have OCD, and that can sometimes be, it works in different ways. For me, I get rid of things. For you, you accumulate things.

I accumulate things, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've accumulated, I mean, it's been like a crazy few years, I mean, just in general, but also like, you know, with doughboy stuff. And then so I've accumulated quite a bit. But then also, you know, when I was thinking back, I was like, oh, yeah, I had, you know, two people who were close to me died in my third. It makes sense that there's a bunch of junk.

So they're helping me out. I love them very much. They're very helpful to me. Do you have, you still have the neon. sign that Spotify sent us. Not only do I have the neon sign, but that actually is up in my house. You've seen it, right?

I've never been inside of your house. You've never been in my house. I've only been in your garage. That's right. You and you have seen my garage. You've been in my house. You've been in your house. How have you been not seen the Spotify sign? I must have seen it. I keep you in the garage too. What level is it on?

I think three. Oh, that's the issue. What the level is it on? Yeah, you keep wagger on the... I'm in the garage. Wagra's on the first floor. It's a hierarchy. It's apparently allowed to go all over.

It's a cast system. I hung it up. But, like, I hung it up on the wall. What does it say? Does you say Spotify? Is this not recording or something? It says recording or something. Oh, okay.

And my mom love... And it is, I do... It's a nice sign. Do you still have yours, Wags? No, I put in the dumpster. See, there we go. But that isn't, that isn't the issue. That's not like.

No, that's decorative. That's art. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's way worse than, you know, a receipt from fucking whatever. I mean, like, that stuff is bad. But I've gotten way better with all of that stuff, but I just need to get rid of clothes and stuff, and they're helpful with that sort of thing.

I think I'm very bad. I'm not trying to put that into gender roles, but I think as a guy, I'm very, like, I'll hold onto these clothes, and I just hold on to them for too long, and then they'll make fun of me as I try on the clothes. And they're like, you look like you're in high school. Like that's from high school.

You look like a loser kind of thing. And then I throw it away. That's the process that I go through. Okay. Well, hey. It's good. It's a good thing. I'm just being open about it.

It's good to see your family. Yeah, it's good to see my family. I don't make them come out here to work either. My sister and I do the same thing when she comes and visits. We like, I go through my closet. When I'm visiting her, we go through her closet. We like help each other with stuff like that. It helps.

Yeah, yeah. And then we eat food. And then we eat food. That's what we do. My parents come and they're in and out. It's like five minutes total. That's how you're not surprised by them at all. No, we have fun.

They look at your empty closet. All right, introduce our guests. I'm sorry. Host the rom-com podcast, Podstruck. They are also writers for Ted. Season 2 premieres March 5th on Peacock, Elena Crivello and Chelsea Davison. Thank you both so much for being here.

Oh, thank you, by the way. That's like the longest I've been quiet since I slept. I'm never quiet for that long. I was like, let me and coach. I know, especially I feel like with our podcast, we're constantly interrupting each other. People are like, you're not really supposed to do that. It's sometimes hard to hear.

And we're like, no, we're, what's happening? Oh, wow. It's the server again. It's pulling in too much. It's funny because we always like a cold in the studio. And then today it's a rainy cold day outside. Right. And the, the thermostat just popped up and says 58 degrees.

You know why? Because I bet they're controlling it from the studio next door. It gets warmer in there, and there's a record happening. They're freezing us out. This is what we usually do to everybody else. Yeah. So if we're in big ice blocks by the end of the episode, the headgum podcast falls and wherever the fuck is next door.

I find your polar pooong tank. You're like to meet for that polar poo money. Don't pet jimmy. I'm warming her. Show warm you. Dogs base temperature is like 100 something. They're like warmer than people. That's why they're so cozy.

Like a dog with a I thought a 101 degrees was like a fever for a dog It's not, it's like their baseline Oh wow Isn't that crazy? Yeah, I one time went camping with a bunch of people And I had my dog with me And she slept in the sleeping bag with me

And I was like, that was a great night's sleep And everyone else was like, I was freezing People left in the middle of the night Wow Yeah, so they could be very good like that And then also bad Because I will have cats But the cats same sort of thing

They're a little heat bombs Yeah But um Best They've been they've had a tough while you know I have a tough week seeing me The house is just in ruins right now I'm like a cleaning

I'm just cleaning things progress They don't like that I feel like my cat loves when there's just like shit everywhere Like to play with knock off things Irma will barf on like if I have stuff out that I don't want her to barf on She'll immediately find it She immediately does it and she has done it since I've started doing this process already twice Wow But I think also that there's guests

They're a little and there it is their aunt and their grandma, so I don't know why they're that upset by it. Yeah, their family. Maybe they're getting anxious. They get a little anxious. They don't know, they don't know their family that well as much as they, as much as they should. Right. Yeah. They need to visit more often. They need to visit more often. You know, local likes. Yeah, and I tell them to stay away from Uncle's life. They know. Ellen, we got to talk about this. You, before the show, you came in with a cup of coffee. And you said, you normally drink decaf. Yes. But this is a coffee heavy you're having because they were out of decaf. Yeah, they said something is wrong with their machine, which I didn't

ask questions. I was just like, all right. There's some podcast coming that's pulling power from us. We can't get our machine to work. Everything is down on this block. Yeah, so I went ahead. I ordered a regular, and I got to say, I feel fine. You feel fine. Okay. I feel fine. I feel fine. I mean, I'm a little shaky. If you could see my hand that is shaking a time. We're like 10 minutes in. You feel fine now. And I've only had half of it.

By the way. I can't wait for the end of that. I'm not a drink. I'm not usually coffee drinker. I drink decaf of anything. Yeah, me too. And I look at my, I got myself a little coffee bean ice vanilla latte here.

How about that? Wow. I got to say coffee beat is like the worst place to get coffee. No, I mean, no. Oh, did I look too offended when you said that? I mean, I am shocked because I do like coffee. What you don't? I think coffee bean is the worst coffee place.

Wow. I don't know. I agree with you. And you know I'm forgiving of Starbucks. Yeah, Chelsea, like Starbucks. Oh, man, I hate Starbucks. I like coffee bean a million times more than Starbucks, personally. I'm with Mitch.

I would take coffee bean over Starbucks and I am a coffee drinker. But like Starbucks is, I don't, I mean, the company obviously sucks. All these companies suck. But Starbucks is all right. I don't hate it. I feel like you got to find the right order. And I feel like I've found that. What is it?

It's the brown sugar shake and espresso. There's so much cinnamon and stuff in it that it's... You don't taste the bad coffee. It tastes decadent every time. Coffee beans tastes like dirt to me. Oh, that's funny. Because I think Starbucks tastes too burnt... But I don't like love coffee, but it tastes too burnt and kind of sour to me.

Starbucks coffee. I think you just can't get something that's coffee forward. It's got to be drowned out in other flavors. And sugars. Yeah. But I mean, that's to me is... Like the ice vanilla latte is like you're drinking an ice cream. you know, like an ice cream drink.

It's not like a, it doesn't taste like real coffee to me. I'm a Dunkin' Donuts coffee. That's my favorite. I do like Dunkin' Donuts coffee too. Coffee culotta. Careful now. I feel like I didn't grow up in that culture, you know? And now when I've gone to be like, look how hype.

It doesn't quite, it's the same with In and Out for me. Right. The hype is so high that now when I go, I'm like, in and out. I wasn't raised with this. It's fine. You work with somebody who won't like what you're saying. Ted himself would be very upset at you. That's true.

Ted is a Duncan. He's for sure a Duncan guy. We have a seen in Duncan in the coming season. Yes, we do. And every now and then, Seth would bring in either Duncan donuts or Krispy Kreme Donuts. And wouldn't eat one of them. Would just be like they looked really good. Here's four boxes randomly for you guys.

No. And then just would like kind of stick there. Do you think he's checking a box? by being like, I can't do this, but like this is like a way of me having it in a way. I do think it's like he doesn't want to indulge, you know, he's trying to be healthy. Yeah. And so I think he's like, you guys have the joy I can't. Well, I would say most of the men in the room do not partake.

So then it's like all of the women eating donuts. There's something weird and fucked up happening here and I don't know what it is. Sounds like a room full of feeders. What the fuck's going on? It's weird. Sounds like any of the doughboys in this room. also that we would come in there and clean I would definitely if someone brings in a box of donuts

I'm getting a fucking egg Hey well if there's a season three we'll call you guys when Seth brings some donuts I know we'll help us with ease I know yeah we're always like we'll just have one and then I feel like the way that we're like well there's three different flavors we gotta dare to compare yeah you gotta try them all

that is the opposite experience we are a feeder podcast we are just constantly just there's so much food doing this show and it's so often so bad You guys, luckily, had one of the good experiences on the show. This was a dream. It was a dream. It's usually like just like bags of bullshit in there and everyone.

And even you guys will like not partake when it is when it's when it's real bad. No, like next week we'll be having Civeche from Long John Silver. Oh boy. Oh, wow. I did that. For a Civece month or some bullshit that we're doing. Sucks. Do you guys have any?

Do you have any hoarder tips? How are you guys? Are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, how's, how's the, how's the, how's the, how's the, how's the room? Because writers room also, wait, is that, is that, is that wrong? No, a horny? No, I just, like, what do you mean? Like, they're in a writer's, like, bags of garbage sitting in? We're not bags of garbage.

Are there jars of Seth McAfarland's urine? Just, I'm not a urine hoarder. All that, well, office looks like the doughboys office. There isn't just, like, trash and piss every year. Seth is very clean He's very clean Some riders' rooms can be very messy Some riders' rooms I've walked into have been messy

No, this is I would say immaculate In a way that is A little intimidating There is Purorelle everywhere Yes Like you know You gotta keep it clean Fun objects, bobbles

There's a little horn that if anyone makes a joke That's like really bad I feel like Seth would grab the little horn Or slide whistle He also has a slide whistle And we'll just go, he can do that. We should do that at the show. I mean, that's pretty good.

I will say, though, one time he dropped the slide whistle on the ground and then he threw it in the truck. I hope that's okay to say it said. But, you know, if something's on the ground. I assume some intern got it later and cleaned it or something. Or maybe it was just a new slide whistle the next day. I don't think so. So not, not, because I worked at the Simpsons for a while. I would say it could be cluttered in there occasionally sometimes.

No, not cluttered. Very nice. Very beautiful office. Even over the course of a day, no. So much of it is, so much of it just comes from the personality of who's in charge, I feel like. It's like the show owner guys sets a time. I'm not in that world anymore. I don't go into those rooms anymore.

Oh, right. Because you're the talent. We get it. We get it. I went to the talent side, baby. We're the writers. I'll let you nerds take care of the rest of it. Chelsea, we were talking Wendy's earlier.

You're from Ohio, the home of Wendy's. Do you have any opinions on how Wendy's fair? Okay, so I love Wendy's. And so as you're talking about how it has gotten worse, I agree. And I never really, well, I thought that was just me being like, I guess I've grown up. I guess I just, you know, I don't have that magic I used to. But I, Wendy's is the best or used to be. I would get, you know, the fries, dip it in, the frosty, do that.

Use the fries as a spoon. The crispy chicken. What do you mean? Oh, that's like, that's a famously good thing. No, no, I don't know. With Chelsea. And, you know, and I feel like now there's, the last time I went there, they were trying to innovate too much, I think. There was like a root beer frosty.

I'm like, get out of there. A peppermint frosty. Things like that. There's all these different types of the chicken sandwich. Like, you know, stick to a couple things and do them well. Their baked potatoes used to be great. Paaked potatoes. They've gone down.

Look, I am with you in that I don't, but I am happy for people who do do that. A dip up fry in a shake? I'm happy for people who dip fries into frosties. I don't do it. It reminds me of a happier time of when Wendy's was good. And they didn't have the skin on fries and everything like that. If you are a shake dipper as I am as well. Also, by the way, my lawyer is calling me.

You want to answer it? I can't answer it. I mean, you're saying not on the air answered? No, no, no. I mean, like, do you need to interrupt the podcast if you need to take a call? He just said, don't talk to anyone. That's what he just said. Wait.

Don't you mind if I quickly? Yeah, I think so. All right, welcome back to dough boys. So Mitch got canceled. So we're going to do the rest of the pod without him. I asked Mitch to step off so I could do that bit. Oh, wow. Worth that.

I'd like, I've prepared a statement. I would like to apologize to the Italian community. We're all good, why? You had a business call. Everything's fine. Yeah, everything's fine. No legal trouble for either dough boy. Not yet, at least.

We're fine. We're fine. Everything's fine. And I think we could say this much. Yeah, yeah. We found out both our guests are also with our lawyer, Lev Ginsburg. That's true. Technically, I'm with Lev's partner, Grace.

So, I'm a professional partner. You're with the firm. I got all nervous because you guys were like, you can't say his name. Then you just said his full name. Yeah, you did. I'm like, is he going to drop us? By the way, the lovely wife of our good buddy. Yes, Sean Clements.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Grace is? Yeah. Oh, I know. A real industry power couple. How about that?

I don't know who that guy is. But good. Oh. I acted like I did. I don't. Yeah, you really did. I don't. I just played along.

I know. That's another. That was a talent. I got to find myself. a high-powered lawyer life, life. Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe a Johnny Cochran type. I want that's like I want, I want, I want someone, I want a big, I want a big flashy lawyer. You want someone who's defending a murderer. Yeah. Yeah, why not? We can do that. We can do that for you.

Yeah. I want to find a, yeah, a high powered, I mean, the person who is currently cleaning his house out of, uh, toys that he can't get, right? You guys have any, are you, are either of you, uh, Are you, which way are you more wiger or more me as far as hoarding and keeping stuff? I am more you. I get sentimental.

And the only strategy I have, which is inspired by Marie Kondo, but I don't use it for decluttering. I just literally, it's the only way I can get rid of things is to literally like talk to the object and thank it. That's very sweet. I like that. Just because I have like, you know, like a towel that I've had since, you know, my studio apartment in Brooklyn that I'm like, oh, but it's served me well. but it's disgusting. And then I have to just be like, thank you. Thank you for bleeding me.

Thank you. I was doing some of the. I also take pictures. My digital junk I'll never get organized ever. I think that's just over with. Like I'm like, and I'm fine losing that battle. I'm okay like being like there's too many pictures in my phone and there's too many whatever. Like I screen grab stuff all the time and emails and text messages.

Like I'll never get fully caught up on that stuff and that's fine. It can live in like the abyss or whatever. Yeah. But physical stuff. I'm like, I can take a picture. picture of it and then throw it away and I'm a little better. But I always feel like I save like sides from stuff I worked on. I do

stuff like that, which I don't do as much anymore, but back in the day I did do that a lot. Like when we got a dough boy's restaurant and you save the onion rings. I don't say an actual side. Let me tell you, I was throwing away a lot of fucking doughboys food in the last stuff that people said.

We always feel like we've got to take it and then don't give us anything else anymore. Like a stuff or food. Yeah, like actual food saving They'll give us, they'll give us, it's very kind. The gifts are lovely. They give us some people, people are welcome to give us gifts. All right, fine.

You're giving us the gifts. Give us the gifts. You don't have like plates of food. Oh, okay. It sounds like you don't need more gifts, though. I think this was the right move. But now that I've thought about it. It doesn't sound ungrateful.

I know, no, I want them. I like it. Well, I have a very unconventional way of getting rid of all your stuff, which is just you have your house burned down in a fire. Oh, my God. No, no, no, it's okay. I forgot about that. Yeah, how dare you ask me about my hoarding.

I'm sorry. Were you a sentimental, I know, I'm sorry. I was kind of in between. Like, I would always try to get rid of stuff, but I definitely had like a bunch of photos.

And, you know, I had my wedding dress, stuff like that, all gone. Oh, my God. That's a nightmare. Sorry. No, no, no.

I've got a lot of therapy, guys, we can joke about them. If my house was burning down, Wally and Irma would be the, I would grab Wally and Irma. Yeah, of course. I hope. Yeah, Wally and Irma,

my doughboys branded flesh. light and then I've got the door. You have a doughboys brand. We were like we were kind of tinkering with it. We were, it hasn't hit the market yet. It was going to be merch. Yeah.

It's the first flashlight that like changes size depending on the user. If it's a mouth, that's like very on brand. Yeah. It's a wager mouth or a Mitch mouth. Yeah. It's randomized.

You don't know. We talked about feeders. That way they get to be the feeder. of their dick. Wow. Yeah. I think you guys got to roll that out. It's a 2028 release window is what we're thinking right now.

We'll see what happens. But I would, I would, those, to me, Wally Nirmu would be the most important thing. So that's like, like, it's been, it's been easier just taking pictures and tossing it away. Yeah, yeah. So you, but were you, were you a hoarder, were you, or were you more like a? No, I would try to get rid of a lot of stuff all the time. But, you know, I had like a box, you know, from all the different writers rooms I've been in. and like different, you know, like you're saying like scripts and sides.

I had like all my playbills because I went to NYU and like all the plays I saw back then. Like the original wicked, which for some reason, you know, all those are gone. But that's okay. You realize that stuff doesn't matter in the end. It's the other stuff. I feel like I think that I want that stuff. And then I'm like, I haven't looked at it in 10 years, 15 years. Those like playbills and things.

Sometimes like when you have kids then you're like, oh, this will be cool. make them look at this. Not that they're going to care. The stuff that sucks is like photos. You know what I mean? That's the hardest thing I'd say. Everything else, honestly, it's kind of okay. I'm sorry, yes.

You were affected, well, very much affected by the fires last year. You lost your home. That was last year. Yeah. Last crazy. And we're supposed to be breaking ground in like the next month. So we're rebuilding guys. Oh, that's nice.

Oh, my God. That's very excited. And on this, in the same plot of land. Same plot of land. Wow. And I also will say, it's crazy how much shit I've accumulated in a year. We were like, oh, fresh slate.

And now I'm like, how the fuck do I have so, sorry, it's okay. Oh, yes. Yeah, we can go on this. Fuck. How the fuck do I have so much shit already? Like, and my kid, too. I'm like, what happened? Well, it's nice.

I feel like the community really rallied in L.A. to give you stuff. You got all Cameron Diaz's baby stuff. Yes, I have all of Cameron Diaz's baby stuff. I don't think I'm supposed to be, I've said it before. Oh, are you, I don't know. Yeah, I've said it. You are going to high school with Cameron Diaz.

I didn't go to high school with Cameron Diaz's. I didn't go to high school with Cameron Diaz. We went to the same high school. Long Beach, Polly High, homeless scholars and champions, but she was older than me. Well, was she in, was she there like at the same time at all,

or no, she's much older. I think there was, I think there was like a window where, because my brother's older than me. My brother was never, so, yeah, she's,

she's older than my older brother. I don't know why I'm dwelling on this. I'm saying this in a very awkward way. She said, no, the answer is no. No, okay,

no, no, you guys never met, you never crossed that. No. Yeah, I got all of her baby stuff because we were having a baby. And she was getting rid of, I guess she has like multiple houses.

So they're like, we have baby stuff for like every house. So I have like a bunch of, I had a bunch of baby blankets with like her kids names on it, which I got rid of. They're at goodwill somewhere. Yeah, but that's sweet. That's very sweet. It would have been so expensive to go buy all new baby stuff. So thank you. We could have given you some of our baby stuff that Nick and I wear a lot of the time.

We have bonnets and bibs. Oh, I love some bodice and go boeh on it. When you rebuild If you want, you can put a Mitch and Nick toy right on your shelf I would love that. I would love that. Luca would love that. I'll get that.

Yeah, I'm going to love them. We should talk rom-coms and specifically how they pertain to the topic of our podcast, food. Are there any notable food scenes in rom-coms? I mean, we certainly think of when Harry met Sally as first thought. Hey, well, hold on. That's what I came up with. when you tasked us with this assignment before the thing. Oh, I should have like, because I already had in my notes,

but I was like, I should have just like you should. Oh, I have what she's having. Yeah. I was like, what are some scenes? And that was the first one I came up with. But then also, funny enough, I don't know what they're eating in that scene. I just know that they're at Katz's deli. They're probably eating like a pastrami.

They have a pastrami sandwich? We watched it pretty recently. We went on, there was a New Year's Day. They showed it at the Alamo. It was a full house. It was lovely. Oh, that's so fun. And so I'd never seen in the theater before.

So it's so great. Such a great movie. And she's eating a salad. Oh, yeah. They're cats as deli and she's eating a salad. Weird choice that cats is deli. But she's very particular. Right.

Well, I mean, they have the whole thing about like dressing on the side and the way she ordered salads. But, I mean, we covered that. That was our 50th episode on our podcast. And I didn't remember it was a salad. I think it was a salad. It's a salad. In that same?

I feel like it's a sandwood. It might be a sandwich. What the fuck are you? What are you? on over there. She does talk about salad. I'm pretty sure it's a sandwich, too. There's so much salad content in the movie that probably had Mandela affected it. The salad is in the diner. When they're first traveling from Chicago to New York together. You fucked up so bad right now.

God, this is embarrassing. We'll take all this out. So she's eating a sandwich. Yeah, she's eating a sandwich. Yeah, that's a really famous one. It's a pastrami sandwich. It's a pastrami sandwich. They're cats. They're cats. I'll have what she's having. You get a salad? That sucks.

Makes sense. Oh, I'm not. All right. I'm going to get off my salad with the dressing on the side. Well, the movie that we, one of the ones we just watched

was crazy rich Asians and that they go to a Singapore night market. And the food looks unreal. They have a lot of good food scenes. And it's just clear that John Chu, the director,

was really trying to make it look delicious because you watch it and you're like, oh my God. Yeah, my mouth was watering. It's so good. And then I also will say, Last holiday with Queen Latifah. They have a lot of great food scenes in that one.

A lot of food content. Oh my gosh. And an Emerald Lagassee cameo at the end. Wow. Queen Latifah's character wishes she could be a chef. She's a foodie. She goes on her last holiday to this place where this famous chef is working at this hotel and orders everything on the menu and it's just really decadent food shots.

Yeah. I love a beautiful food shot. John Chu lived up to his name that day. Probably eating a bunch of food. Absolutely. I thought it was fun. I thought it was okay. No, I think that food is often a thing that we really notice in rom-coms where they do it well.

I notice food in pretty woman. When she spends the night with him the next morning, we learn like, wow, he's actually kind of a good guy. Because Richard Gere says, I didn't know what you'd want, so I ordered everything. And it's like, oh. Silver dollar pancakes. Again, feeders? I don't know. This is really a thru-law.

I'm here. And then we just get to see her enjoying the breakfast. And it's a little sensual. I love some food scenes in movies. Yeah, too. Yeah. In film school, they were always saying it was a good, it's good to show food in movies because it shows that it's based in.

Do you, you know, I know what I'm talking about? I know you're talking about. They say that it's good to write like food scenes into movies because it makes it makes it feel like it's based in reality and that you're actually like spending time with these people. That's what I remember from film school. Look, I'm a fellow food dude. I love seeing food in movies.

It's great. Obviously, we talked about the Miyazaki films or so from the animated side. But, like, you know. Do you think that from spirit away, would you eat? I think we maybe have discussed this before, but would you eat from all that food that turned people in the pigs? Yeah. You just would become a pig. Yeah.

You'd be down. Yeah, I think I wouldn't be able to resist it. I'd be with you. I think they'd be like, their pigs already. The noble show up. You turn it to men? Yeah. I get reversed tracked.

You know what else is a great food scene, but it's in. Hook. This isn't a rom-com, but you know, in Hook, when they have that food fighting scene, it's all make-believe food, but oh my God, I love that scene. And they're grabbing, like, I don't know, I think it's just colored whipped cream. But that looks delicious to me. That food banquet scene is good. I think, Wygar, do you famously hate Hook? What?

No, why? Where did that come from? Oh, I thought, so someone we know says that Hook is a bad, is a bad movie. He's just trying to get us to turn on you. Yeah. I don't hate Hook. I mean, it's not like the best, but I like Hook. It scared me when I was a kid.

It's scary. Yeah, I think I was a little too young The first time I watched it and it scared me. No, the children are, the very beginning was like, the children were crying and the children are missing. The children are missing. And there's like wind everywhere.

I don't know, sorry. You're really no hook. I do. I should have started a hook point. I love hook. Not a rockout. Sorry, I got really into it. It's awkward.

One thing I like about Hook is the, there's Glenn Close pulling a proto-Albert knobs is one of the male pirates. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's a great part. Yes, yes, yeah. Yeah, very cool. Yeah.

She was just like wandering by that day and they're like, get in here. No, really? And pretty woman herself is Tinkerbell. Yeah. Yeah, Julia Roberts. Playing another pretty woman. That's not. Fairy.

Pretty fairy. And she grows in size and doesn't she become human size at one point? Yeah, she does. Women. Like if you have a male fairy is that a man, if you have a female fairy, is that a woman? Because they have the form factor of a human being. Yeah. Yeah.

But they have butterfly. my wings. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Fairy wings. Fairy wings. Okay. All right. Please. Don't disrespect the fairies. You don't have to, I don't think you had to just voice that

question. You could have saved it for later for Googling or whatever you wanted to do. Whatever you want to do with fairies in your own time. What about a tiny woman finish? Yeah. Well, anything, make them bigger. Oh, we got a feeder on our hands. I'm trying to think of other good rom.

And I can't think of, do you have some written down? No, I was going to ask about, because the movie we covered when I came on Podstruck, which was a ton of fun. People should check out that episode if they haven't. Was Dave? Great movie. And I was trying to remember, there is a food scene in Dave. Kevin Klein makes a big sandwich.

Yes. Like a midnight snack. Right, but it was weird because he puts carrots on it. He put shredded carrots on it. Yeah, which was a really weird movie. Was it upon me? No. Just like a...

All right. Now I'm confused too. I remember, might have like a turkey sandwich or ham or something like that. Very classic sandwich. Yeah. But with carrots. Yeah.

I don't know what he was thinking. Yeah, carrots on a sandwich. Yeah. If this 1990 movie, he was making a midnight bonnie, it would be pretty great. Revolutionary. Really? I think you're right with the film school thing that having them eat food usually makes them relatable. But then every now and then a movie like misses like the carrots on the sandwich.

And you're like, have you never eaten food? Another one that comes to mind. is anyone but you. They have this through line where Glenn Powell keeps making grilled cheese sandwiches for... But what's wrong with that?

Well, the way they make it. Remember, like, the butter? He's, like, carving out of, like, the middle of the pad of the butter. He cuts the butter out of the middle of the brick. Do you think that means Glenn Powell is weird or do you think it was a choice? I think the people making this movie

don't eat grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah, he's why he doesn't... And then every time, because then, before the two characters, spoiler, or they have sex. Before that, he makes her another grilled cheese sandwiches, and then that's what gets them all steamed up. And then they don't eat the sandwich.

Both times he makes her a sandwich. We don't eat it. They're staying true to reality, though. We know those two do not eat a drug cheese sandwich. I took issue with it. I'm like, if you're going to spend all this time with the foreplay of the sandwich, show me a meeting. Now I'm the theater.

I love a girl. I don't watch it. People haven't had a carb in a decade. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that's interesting. Also, as a pre-game meal for, you're going to hook up with somebody at grilled cheese sandwich. I would not opt for dairy.

I think it, well, it depends on how you handle dairy. I guess you don't. I would not. I would not go for it. I also think what sex acts you're planning to do. I think a grilled cheese sandwich is fine. Not too, you know. For you, yeah, I guess like, you know, like eating a grilled cheese sandwich

and then having the person you're worth put on fairy wings. I think grilled cheese is actually, I agree with you that I wouldn't want to go cheesy. but grilled cheese sandwich also is like not a, it's not a big meal. So for me, I'm like the lighter, like, I don't say it's a light meal, but I'm saying like it is like, a grilled cheese sandwich is like, whatever, I'm having a sandwich. A big, a big, we always talk about this, but like a big, you don't want to go fuck after a big, a big stuffing meal. You don't want a chorale burrito for sure. That's, that to me is that, like, or even like when you're, when I would go on a date, not that this was going to like, I wasn't like, I'm going to go on a date and they go home and have sex. it was like never that was usually out of the question right but i'm saying like when i'm going out

and having like a big fancy meal i would never want to uh do love making after that's that's where my head is and i think that i like uh and that's that's the thing to me is always is always so confused because i think that is a societal norm is like we're going to go out for big dinner and then we're going to go home and make sweet love and and in movies i think they do it a lot too But a group cheese sandwich, I think, is on the side of, like, not too bad. That's why you get, like, nervous. Like, when you're first dating someone, you're kind of, or like, for me, I get kind of nervous. So then I, like, couldn't really eat dinner.

Yes, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then as you relax with a person, you're like, I don't fucking care. I'm having this chocolate over a deal with it. You love me. I like, that's where it's nice. I think that's ever, everyone wants to get to that point. Yeah, if you fall in love with your, you know, criminal atta.

attorney lawyer who is going to be aggressive and, you know, she won't mind me. She won't mind Chipotle for it. Do you know the monsters I'm defending at court? I can handle the Chipotle. I want to go back to the Ted Rogers room real quick because I am curious about not just the stay of the room, but the snack situation, which is a big thing for me. A lot of snacks. A lot of snacks.

Well, they're all hidden kind of. Well, yeah, yeah, because again, no clutter. So they're like hidden in drawers. You'd have to, like, go kind of explore, which was kind of fun. I liked that element. This does sound more, more like my house. My sister was like, I found, like, a bunch of, like, taxes and then, like, a bag of Doritos in the draw. That's kind of what was happening at my place.

That's where they are. Yeah, no, everything was, like, in drawers. I would say, for a writer's room, I would say it was, like, a middle amount of snacks. There was more in the kitchen, which I appreciate, because you don't want too much in the writer's room because it's there. You just eat it. Yeah, I was grabbing Riser Room recently They had these

Like those mini bags of cheese it And I was like I'm having that I'm having a cheese it bag Every single fucking day Like between breakfast and lunch I was having one consistently And you know what?

I loved it They just We were just back in that room And they had these fruit snacks That were kind of like Knock off gushers They had a Healthy gushers

We didn't know they were gonna gushers They were like organic They were fruit snacks But then they had like Oh they were so good Gew in them And I feel like we all had this experience where different sides of the table would have them and then be like, oh. And just be shocked.

And then you'd be like, I know what just happened in your mouth. They're shaped like RFK's head. Yeah, exactly. I wish I could go back in time and give young me healthy goo. I was eating all the unhealthy goo. The other nice thing about that room, though, is it's just like an enormous table, you know, and the snacks are all on one side. So if you sit on the other side, it's kind of, you know, it's a whole to do. You get up.

Everyone's like quiet, maybe thinking. You have to get up and walk around the entire table to get a snack. That's true. And something about that shames you into just staying put. Oh, man. A little walk of shame to the snacks. I hate that sucks. I just feel like, I don't feel like pulling attention and everyone, I don't know.

Yeah. It feels like too much. In season one, I was in the room and I was newly pregnant. And I was having really bad nausea and heartburn if I didn't eat, like, constantly. And so at one point, I was feeling so sick that I just like finally had to get up. but I went to the kitchen and I came back with like this big plate of carrots and like rice cakes and all these things. And I was like, it's fine.

Probably nobody even cared or noticed. I got so much shit from the other writers. They're like, I held my pee for two hours, but you come back with a whole feast and that because no one knew I was pregnant. They just thought they're like, wow, you're really, what a power move to just be like, fuck all of you. I'm getting up. You'll watch me leave.

I don't care who's talking. There's too much eyes on it. There's two. You're the surveillance state that we've started. They really felt like it was brazen that I did that. Really? I hope you shamed the shit out of them and told them you were pregnant. I say, I'm creating life.

You're creating stories for a teddy bear. I'm creating life. No, I didn't say that. I just held it in and said, this is what it is to be a woman. Yeah, but I was like, you know what? It's rude of me to do this, but it'll be rudeer if, vomit. Yeah.

Sure. You know, you gotta do what you gotta do. What was the, and during, like, was there,

were there any, for either of you, specific, like pregnancy cravings? And is that an actual thing? Yes. Definitely. Yeah?

Oh, well, the first time I was pregnant, I ate cottage cheese with pickles, like every morning. Pickles is like, the thing that people say.

But they, so it is so you do. Oh, it was a real thing. And then I remember being like, this isn't even weird. Like, I would eat this when I'm not pregnant. This is so good.

And of course, the second I was done being pregnant, I was like, I'm never eating that again. That's disgusting. Why, why, why is there like a biological reason that the babies love brine? Does it help brine the baby? Yes, it's what amniotic fluid is. It's brine. Ambiotic fluid is brine. Yeah, you're pickling them in there.

I think I read about this before. I think it was, I think it has something to do with a nutrient that's in pickles or something. I think it's sodium. It's sodium. You tend to crave sodium when you're pregnant in pickles. are just full of it. I also ate like just a ton of red meat. Like I'm didn't even eat red meat.

Like I'm not, I'm usually, now I'm vegetarian, but I was eating just like chicken at the time. And then I was just like, I need red meat. Every day I ate like a pound of red meat. Yeah, I feel like it is usually some kind of like thing your body knows you need that you don't know. Because my first pregnancy, it was all. I just wanted as much like milk and dairy as I could get. I was like eating mac and cheese every day. bowls of cereal, just drinking glasses of milk, like a weird child.

Sounds like Nick's a normal day, by the way. It's going to say Mitch and I are kind of on a year-round pregnancy day. And then my second pregnancy, it was all like tomatoes, tomato sauce. And I'm not a tomato ear usually, but I just like couldn't get enough tomato stuff. And then I looked that up and they said it's often, that's a common craving for if you have low iron. And I was. I was anemic. So I think it is just like your body being like, I don't know, what's a way to get this?

I was just pregnant and I already do not remember any of my cravings. I got to look, I'm not this stupid and I'm going to ask this question. It's going to be fun. Oh, great. Is it how our babies made? Do babies get a little taste? Do they taste? They do?

They do. Wow. They like swallow the amniotic fluid and they get exposed to flavors in the womb. A little baby's getting a little, like a baby's thinking mama mea. Spicy food, eat sour food. You're supposed to eat a variety. Yeah. That's wild.

The baby's getting the gusher goo. The baby's tasting everything. Getting everything. Maybe a little margarita. Just kidding. Not me. Not me. Actually, I was going to, I was going to bring you guys some milk fresh from the tap today.

And I didn't know if you had ever partaken. I didn't end up doing it. Let me just say, we have partaking. Okay. Okay. You have? You have? And we'll speak post show.

Oh. Oh, boy. I was tricked into, I was tricked into drinking some, some breast milk with my group of friends at one point, my Quincy crew. What do you mean tricked? They were like, hey, Mitch, try this milk. And I was like, sure. And I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and they were like, oh, it was breast, it was breast milk.

It was Linda's breast milk. You know, Lindorke and Frailbite? Yeah, it was her breast milk. And I was just like, oh, all right, it was fine. It was good. Yeah, it's good. It's very sweet. You tried it?

I tried mine for the first time. My husband and I were like, we got to do it this time. Why didn't we do it? You didn't try yours? No, I'm not trying my own. Why? No, let me tell you. You got to try it.

Also, it's delicious. It's like, it's like creamer. Half and half. It's like half and half. It's so good. You know what? You overestimate us because we would have loved, we would have, we would have gone crazy. Well, by the way, I have my pump in the car.

I still can't. So careful. Careful what you wish for. I don't know. If I was able to lactate, I think tasting it would be like the first thing I do. Really? Yeah, I've tasted every fluid for my body. Jesus.

I didn't even say it. I don't know. No, no, no, no. I'm asking Mitch. Accidentally, as a teen, when I had the power, that makes less sense. You know what I'm saying. I've said this before. I jacked off and it hit me in my face.

That's what happened. your mouth. Wow. That's like a rock shop. Powerful. That's, yeah. Young boys know this, this, this, this risk. Young, young, young, young, teens know this risk.

Yeah, you know. I don't know that you want to be talking about like teens and young boys. When you're talking about jerking it. I think we should strap the breast pump on Wiger. He said he wants to try, he would try his breast milk. Oh, man. See what we can get out? Running dry, I'm pretty sure.

I'd love it. I'd love to be able to do it. Young boys know this, that you know this, that if you're laying down and you masturbate, there's a chance you're going to get some sweet chin music. Never once happened to me. I just don't know why you keep saying young boys. Yeah, that's, it's like saying. I think Mitch's defense, what he's saying is that as a younger male, you have more propulsive factor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That thing's brand new. It's firing. Right. Healthy dushers. That's the healthiest goo I was eating back then. Grouchers had not gone through their transformative period to be healthy. But yeah, I would say that we're not above trying. I mean, 100% we would do something like that.

I think it may be some of the listeners would be weird. No, I think they'd be. Well, now I regret not bringing. I would have just like had it right here and just, this is what could have happened. Sorry. Is it weird? I guess it in a weird, because I think people sexualize that. But in a way, it is, that is a new, I mean, like for children,

is that is they're eating. They're, they're, they're, bodybuilders that, like, bodybuilders that, like, buy it for women.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I have a whole freezer full. You're rich. Yeah, I'm like, I should be selling this on the, you know, black market,

but instead of, getting it to my child. Yeah. It's also, like, a miracle for, like, acne and skin and stuff and eczema. It will, like, cure, cure, you can put it on, like, exima, like,

itchy skin and stuff. It's crazy. Cretel cap and, and baby acne. I was rubbing it all over my baby. Try to help. If you want to do a Do Boys collaboration, we can do something with kinship goods and see what we can do. I'll bring you guys some good real quick afterwards.

What is the going rate for black market breast milk? Can we look that up? I look it up. Oh, yeah. I don't know if the head gum Wi-Fi will get onto the dark web. The dark web? Emma, what you were saying just reminding me I had been reading something about, I think maybe Gabe, of course, I think Gabris maybe brought it up about. Like the bodybuilders and stuff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like protein milk basically for them, right? Like it's super high in nutrients and protein. Yeah. But you can like, you can make like a shake from a powder, but there's definitely probably, oh, it's an all natural so it's better. I'm sure that's part of the argument. Yeah, yeah.

Well, no, but the women actually sell theirs. Like some women just like keep it going to sell to like bodybuilders. Yeah, that's wild. I wonder why, I wonder why, I mean, see, this is what I'm questioning. I'm like, I think that obviously it's sexualized or whatever, but like I'm like, how come that hasn't been a taken? I feel like that should be taken advantage of more. I mean, maybe it is. I mean, we drink cow's milk, which is in a weird way, maybe weirder.

In a way, it's a different species. I agree. Why are we so weirded out about drinking mother's milk? That's, and I'm like, if there is like that market for it with bodybuilders, I'm surprised that it just doesn't happen more is what I'm saying. Yeah. It sounds like you're both defending Morton Joe in Mad Max. Road. I think we should be milking women

at an industrial level. I'm like, yeah. I'm not saying that we should milk women at an industrial level. I was thinking it was a powerful thing where they could charge up the wild. Of course, of course. Do whatever you want with your own

body. I think we should milk women. I'll stay it here. Morton Joe had some good idea. Look, I voted for them. Three times. Chelsea, speaking of politics, you and I share a trauma. We both work.

Can I just quickly say about a Morton Joe? He's one of, he's an inspiration to me because he has a waking CPAP. He's one of the few people that is always wearing a CPAP. So that's why I like her. Go ahead, why? Sorry. Chelsea, you and I both worked on at midnight for many years. Such a fun room.

The best room. It was so great. I wanted the internet once in my time there. I also won the internet once. Wow. Yeah. Did you? I never paneled.

You never panelled? I didn't want to. Oh, all right. Fair enough. What are I doing? He's a shy boy. I'm even like being on camera for this fucking podcast. I beat Bob and Bob got mad.

I don't know if we've ever talked about this before. Bob Odenkirk. Yeah. He's called him Bob. Oh, well, that's fine. Earlier he called Oscar Wild Oscar. It's on some same basis with everyone. Bob didn't get bad.

He was just like, what the fuck? He was like, what's going on here? I was not to say that it was a, it was a little bit stank. We can say this now. Yeah, people, I mean, it's a panel show disguised as a game show. They were like, these two are going to go on to the next round, and then I went on to the next, I wasn't supposed to go on to the next round. Yeah, no, no, they would, I mean, that part of the game wasn't rigged.

They would actually go on, like, you know, but a lot of the jokes were pre-written. Right, right. I would say it's not rigged in that, like, it's not all scripted. It's just that, yeah, people are like, come up with a thing that, they're not coming up with it in 30 seconds. Yes. Yeah. They've been given options. They've written options.

Maybe a writer has helped them craft something. Yes, craft it. But then, I mean, the winners, that's authentic. That's authentic from the audience, baby. Don't take our wins away from us. Yeah, I know. For a second, I would like, why are we bragging about winning? No, no, got it, got it.

And I got to say, I mean, you guys are goats as well, but I was working with one of the goats and Jordan Morris. Oh, yeah. And he wrote a joke and I was like, that's a funny joke. And I saw what Bob's joke was. And I was like, I'm going to win. My joke is a funnier joke. Like, I got the, I picked a funnier joke. joke. I was away from at midnight working on a different show at the time when you

guested Mitch, but there was a, you did use one of my jokes that I'd previously written for that too. Yeah, yeah. Wait, was for the, for the, was it the final joke? No, it was the other one. No, it was for the, there's one you, like, read aloud. Oh, what, where were you, where were you off? I was working on that, uh, uh, a fox sketch show that maybe when I kill my, I call myself. Gutfield live? Yeah, I was one Gutfield live. Uh, good field's great, but Oh, right, yes, yeah. But you were back when I was there when I became George Lucas, you were there.

Yeah, we were together in there. That was so fun. Man, you crushed it now. You crushed that. So funny. That was great. That was a fun. I've said this before, but the...

I didn't bring it up to get compliments, but I appreciate the compliment. I said this before, but the voice of Bender from Futurama, a great voice actor was one of the panelists, and he was, like, so effusive in praise for Mitch afterwards. in a way that, like, someone of that status doesn't need to do that. But I was like, oh, that's so genuine and nice. I don't know.

I can't pull the guy's name right now. A dream come true to see, to see Bender kind of, and he sounds kind of like Bender. Yeah, yeah. It's John DiMaggio, right? John DiMaggio, that's right. Yeah, yeah, he's great. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, he's great.

Yeah, he was always great. It was always a surprise how many people that you think maybe are just actors who would actually be so good and just so funny. Shoot, now I'm blinking as the really tall guy who's in the shape of water. Oh yeah, I know what you mean. Doug Jones? No, no, he's also a tall guy in the shape of water. He's the villain is the guy.

Oh, Michael Shannon. Michael Shannon, yes, yes, yes. I was shocked at how funny Michael Shannon was. People like that that you think are just going to be performers and then are able to actually have a real, I don't know, voice with the jokes they pick, you know, making things their own and then delivering them really well. Shannon's a Chicago guy, right? He's like, I don't know if he came up in comedy theater, but he is a, she's a Chicago-y kind of guy. I feel like he's a funny dude.

I'm not sure. He's a funny dude, though. I know he loves comedy. Yeah, what I was thinking of... And also, you know that when there's... There's some actor hunks who love comedy. Yeah, oh, this is our love comedy. Yeah.

Especially when they think they're funny. Often when they're too handsome, it's like, you're just used to people smiling. When you come in, you're not actually funny. Yeah, that's always tough. That's tough. And also, it's funny, for me, like, when I see those hunks that are like, I like comedy in their backstage you used to be, I'm like, I'm losing respect for you.

Right. What happens? Yeah. You're seeing a fucking improv show? Yeah. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah. You should be out getting that polar puna.

Yes. Get up north. Chelsea's speaking of people unexpectedly funny and someone who's now developed a media career post-retirement, but you worked with Cleveland Cavaliers at the time player Amman Schumpert. Yes. And, well, I was thrilled because I was a big Cavs fan, especially in that era and he was on the team. And I remember, I remember specifically the day that he was on panel because a writer would always work with one of them. And you came to me and you were like, I know you love basketball. So if you want it, you were very gracious and offering me the opportunity.

Because you know so much more about basketball. Famously, I didn't realize Shaq was a good player in the past and not just a media personality. I knew he had been a basketball player, but Nick really blew my mind when he's like, he's like one of the greats. And I'm like, the guy from Kazam? What are you talking about? The funny guy? The general's friend? The general's friend played basketball.

Yeah, like, I thought it was just like a fun, big glute. I didn't realize he was like an all-time great. I know he played, but like this is like a fun, a personality hire in the NBA. I like people like knowing Shaq from like Shaq's big chicken. Yes, yeah. That's really what I was like, I love him from TV. Some people would put Shaq. I mean, you could put Jack in the top 20 NBA players of all time.

He's top 10 easy. Would you say top 10 easy? Yeah, because make the list. He's very, very good. But so anyway, I really only knew, you know, Cavs a certain era. So it was like, you know, that was just very exciting for me to meet him. And that day was shocking that writer's room. One, he kept wanting to do jokes from the movie Stepbrothers, which he said was the funniest movie of all times.

He's like, can I do those jokes? And I'm like, no. You can't do those jokes. Very insistent. We were talking about something about like, oh, how, you know, oh, flat earthers. And he was like, but that's true. And I was like, what?

What about the flatter? And he was like, yeah, no, like, that's true. I think he maybe says some other conspiracy theory stuff that I'm not going to say. But there was a lot of stuff that I was like, oh, no. That's very. And then I also just got to sit in as he was talking to his team and not like his basketball team, like the people around him, his agents, his manager, whatever, making phone calls. And I was shocked.

He did think he was the star of the Cavaliers. And I will tell you, LeBron and Kyrie were on that team. And he was waiting for his time to shine. And I don't know that that time ever came. I'm sorry. I don't mean to this. He was very nice to me, a very nice man. Very nice flatter.

It's okay to say if someone is a flatter. I think that's fine. He took a picture with me. He like hung out. I mean, I don't know. So I, trust me, I worked with some real jerks. Yeah, no, me too. And I got to say, so you believe in a flat earth?

That's not the worst thing. Fuck you. Comparatively? It gave me the eye after he said that. No, it's funny because Kyrie Irving, who you mentioned, also famously a flat earther and some real bad conspiracy stuff. Yeah, there's a couple, yeah, bad things. I wonder if he indoctrinated Schumpert or vice versa. I don't, I think it's rampant.

I think a lot of these guys maybe need to like go sailing. How does one become like, you know, go see the world? Especially they're handling a basketball all the time, which is like a great point, Mitch. I mean, it just seems like, yeah, yeah, yeah. The flatter stuff is tame compared to the other stuff. I said when you said the Kyrie stuff, so I just want to make it clear that I was joking. Also, we're a little bit flatter. We can believe it.

I can be convinced. We weren't be convinced. No, okay, but wait, you started this by saying, politically. Yes. So you were going to talk about 2016. You've always

your work is always Cleveland has always kind of orbited your work in many ways. We were just changing the subject. Cleveland from family Seth is in the room.

Oh. God. Yeah. Guess so. I hear he gets to. Such a long road to nowhere. It's true

I thought maybe that's what you meant But then I was like, I don't know We're aligned on this couch here We get it I was like is my like Uvra that like well known I've written stuff about my hometown Sure

Is Cleveland gone from from family guys He's still He's still there? He's still there Because there was a Cleveland show We haven't written on that show So we don't know I guess

We were like Bagers It was a long road Look, you want to ask about Family Guy. Talk to Eminem and Amelia. Is Cleveland still around or is he got? Yeah, he's still there. Because there was a Cleveland show and the Cleveland show ended in there. Yeah, they make a lot of jokes on Family Guy about Cleveland show ending.

And Ted has never met Cleveland. No, no, no, no, no. You know, before the strike, I was asked to meet on Family Guy. Before the strike, I was asked to meet on Family Guy, and I was like, I'm good. I don't want to get into animation. And now I'm like, probably should have just fucking taken that meeting. because family guy is going to go on. I know all the time.

We'll all be dead. We'll still be getting new family guy. I probably could have been getting residuals at the wazzo. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I hope family guy lasts forever. Yeah, I know some people on family guy and it feels like it's just a great like forever job. Yeah. He's just settled down.

Seth has talked about how, you know, he wants it to run forever because he's like, it's my rainforest fund. Like they just keep giving him more money that he just writes a check for the rainforest. God bless him. That's great. That rules. I love it. He's like, okay, Fox, let me offset your blood.

beliefs with my beliefs. I think that's great. That's amazing. That's fucking awesome. Hey, that's a huge thumbs up to Seth for doing that. That's fucking rules. What I was going to bring up is Cleveland has kind of orbited your work. No, what I was going to bring up is 2016.

It was good. Big year, your Cleveland Cavaliers win the NBA title, which was huge. But then later that year, you and I are working on a live episode of At Midnight on election Night 2016. Yeah, that was really bad. It was, the confidence level was high in our, our group of Hollywood insiders that we really had planned a lot of funny bits because we thought the night was going to be so funny. And it wasn't. No, it was not a funny night. An audience gasping in horror when we'd show the electoral map. I'm sure you've had him on Paul F. Tompkins, who's so, so funny. I was writing with him that day for that

performance and he was such a professional but would just, we would like do joke prep and that and then he's like, I'm just going to like watch it in my dressing room. The door would close. I would hear the TV and I would just hear him scream. Fuck! And if you know Paul, he is the

nicest man alive. But he was really going through it and I think we all were but I was pretty rocked to my core to hear that. I can't imagine having to work on that night. It was bad. The bits, some of the bits we had. So it was like, I was texting with, I was on a text chain with you and texting with you that

entire day. Which I, yeah, but I had, but like, I can't believe I got to the, I missed, I just missed the polls. I was like late by like five minutes. So frustrating. Well, you would have really made the difference. Yeah. So the, the, the live show element, which is airing at live at, at midnight Eastern. So, like, at 9 p.m. returns are still coming in, but it, like, the writing's on the wall. But my job was to, uh, I, uh, I, I was one of the people who was writing jokes for like the live crawl at the bottom. So I was just writing like new jokes in real time about like, you know, like who the fuck?

This is up, this apocalyptic outcome. This is also by the year, the year doughboy started. The year doughboy started. No, 2050. No, no. Oh, all right. We were right before that. This is also a fucking forever job.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. We're very blessed. But so the, but the bits I'm reminded of now is like we had an actor to play a Mountie to swear people to Canada. Yeah. Randy Littkey. Right, right, right. And, yeah, it was like, oh, if Trump wins, we'll move to Canada. And so then we'll have the Mounties there to, like, do a bit. And then we're like, it's not funny, cut it. No one liked it. Yeah, we said, because Trump had said, there will be a taco truck on every corner if Hillary wins. So we had so we had taco trucks outside. You were giving the audience tacos. No one wanted to eat the tacos. He said that. Jesus Christ. He said that 10 years ago. The bit we had was like, hey, hey, it came true or whatever, or like we were doing whatever it was going to be. All predicated on, like, of course, he's not going to win. Yeah.

But I remember, God, it was such a bummer because the people in the taco truck were also working. And I remember going out there and just seeing how glum-faced they were. It was really bad. Yeah. Rough stuff. Yeah. And then we didn't change the doughboys intro and Nick announced that the first women present had won. It was a different era.

I didn't realize. I would have to drive all the way up to Burbank to re-record it because I didn't have a good mic set up. So I was like, I'd be fine. People think it's funny and no one liked it. I was so upset. Yeah, I can see that. I can see them not liking that. The podcast that comes out.

And the federal audio security system is much tougher than the fucking peg-upon. It would have been a pain in the ass. Podcast that comes out the Thursday after election day on Tuesday. And people are like, oh, this will be my nice escape from the world. Right. Yeah. Hillary Clinton is the new president. It started basically like that.

People were very upset about it. I was comparing it to the churches. I thought it was a pretty good bit of synergy. The church's chicken CEO was the first female executive in chief executive in fast food. So I was like, hey, there you go. Like Hillary. So I was just using that as a starting point. That synergy by me.

I got to say, I'm not loving it. I wanted to rewrite the whole thing too. You had to rewrite the whole intro, not just like rerecored one line. Yeah, yeah. The whole thing has to be redone. Shame on you. You should have done that work. Can I find that intro? I probably can. Anyway, it's not important.

It's on the wiki. What a wild night, but what a great job. Yes, yeah. It was a great time. I mean, we're still on a text chain together. Yeah. I'm in a writer's room and what's like almost 10 years later? The only job I've ever had were that's still ongoing. Yeah.

Ten years in Hollywood, well, the world also, but Hollywood has gone down the drain in a lot of. It really has. It really has. I mean, like, to have a working late night job. That's cool. You took so much of that for granted. Well, there used to be a time when... You don't know if they took it for granted.

Oh, I don't mean them. I don't mean that specific. I mean... We were sorry to selling breast milk now. It's crazy. The world is insane. Yeah, DM me if you're interested. I did look at it, but it depends on the website you use,

but anywhere from one to $10 an ounce. An ounce? An ounce. Wow. Damn. I have so many ounces in my freezer right now. Wow. I'm rich.

Hollywood was just a different. It was a, it was, it was, it felt like it still existed at that. But you know what? It still exists. Look, we're weathering a storm. After the strike in whatever year that was, 2007 or eight. Oh, the first one. The first one, everything changed.

All of a sudden, people, you know, famous people were doing TV and we're like, what's happening? And now we're going through a new storm. We're restructuring. Right. Things are going to be okay, guys. Yeah. I like that.

I do need to, I need to hear that. Yeah. I'll say this. I was driving with my mom and sister and we were on sunset. We went to Trejo's canteen. And I was asked, I was like, how are things in here?

And they're like, business is okay. We just reviewed Trehaus canina on the show. Yeah. And they're like, things are okay. And I was like, oh,

it's so much better. I was like, I bet you got so much more foot traffic when the arc light was open. And the person there didn't even, she's like, oh, since the time I've been here, that place hasn't been open. So she didn't know of it.

And I drove by the arc light and I was like, don't you think billionaires should, or millionaires, should be fined for keeping a building like that just empty. Like our politicians should fucking find those people and fucking cost them more. Don't punch Jimmy. Don't punch Jimmy. She's not responsible for any of this.

I know when you're riled up, you're punching your fist into your hand. Unless she has staked or whatever, Centrion or where the fuck it is that owns it. But I'm like, those, like, our politicians should be fucking, they should be finding those people every single day that that building stays empty. It's insane. reopened. Well, I just think, like, it's so easy to be cool. Like, Elon Musk has botched it so hard. He just wants to be cool. Do what Kristen Stewart did. Buy a movie theater. There you go. She just got the, she just got the one in, what, Eagle Rock? Highland Park. Yeah. Oh, should we all? Let's go. If you have, Christian Bale, you know, is, like spending a bunch of money to, like, build a whole city for, like, foster families and kids. That's because he's trying to come back from, you know, wasn't he, like, You're super abusive on the set. I have. I don't.

I have. I have. I worked on a movie and this is the truth. The, the, I worked with, with Transpo and they said that they all loved Christian Bill and they didn't want to apologize for that and that the person who was doing that was

fucking annoying. Really? Just to give some Hollywood inside gossip, that's what the person told me. I don't think it was that bad. Look, he weasel his way into my heart in Newsies and he's still there. Yeah. If you have money, you can do cool things with it.

They should be not just fined, but they should be publicly shamed. And also, should our politicians be doing something about things like that? I mean, like a... Yes, they should, but they're beholden to capital. That's the main thing. There's other issues in the world. I'm not saying arclight is the biggest thing. No, we got to solve arc light.

To generalize what you're saying is it's like they have all these new condos that have like very high vacancy rates because they're charging exorbitant amounts of rent. And it's just like, like, you know, there's these fucking billionaire that buy Penn House apartments in New York City and leave them empty around. They're just an investment property. I was against killing. I've come around on it. Get Luigi out of there.

Put the Wendy CEOs up against the walls. They destroyed Wendy's. Fuck them. Parity. These people deserve to die. Parity. Fair use. At some point you get put, I'm a good Catholic boy.

I'm a good Catholic boy. And at some point you get pushed to a point where fucking put them up against walls. Put those people up against fucking walls. I'm sorry. I'm going to write a revenge movie for you. It's too late. I'm sick of this shit. The world has gone crazy.

Yeah, it's really bad. Fucking kill these fucking people. Kill bad people. It's too late. It's gone beyond, and we've gone too far. I'm sorry. And I know it's sad that it's a movie theater in Wendy's that got me riled up, but it is. Whatever works, baby?

I'm sorry. Don't tell your future lawyer wife. She'll get it off. She'll defend me. She's making her money. She'll defend me. It would be great. I'll have free drinks from her and she'll defend me.

Wow. Her breast. I was saying that. I got it. Also, I was thinking like, I'm like, no, everything's going to be fine. And you guys are going to see me in like a year on the street with just like a barrel. With breast milk on the inside.

It is. I do think that there is a little bit of an upswing. But I, I, it is like just driving around Hollywood, I'm just like, it's sad. And I was thinking of Arclight specifically because I remember where, I remember where your studio was. And I just was thinking of like driving down there. And I'm like, I never have gone even back down to that part of the world or even used that studio since I was on at midnight. And I'm like, it bums me out. It just fucking bums me out.

Yeah. And there's a lot of other worse problems in the world right now. So it doesn't matter. But I'm just saying in our neck of the woods. I just, I'm fucking sad. It makes me sad. In our neck of the woods, Arklight still is. the worst.

No. Our flight is very far from it, but I just was reminded of it, and I'm fucking annoyed by it. I get what you're saying about people owning properties and keeping them vacant. That is, yes, that is sucks. I mean, there's a part of the city falling apart. It's like not only the industry

is falling apart, but people are buying up buildings and then letting them just fall apart. And that adds hand in hand when you're looking around, like there's no jobs. Oh, also, this thing is just fucking falling apart. You know what I mean? It sucks. And it's not, the bigger problem as opposed to commercial real estate is all the residential, you know, the residences that are owned by people who have multiple homes and are just like...

Or corporations. Yeah, or corporations. And they're either renting them out or just sitting on them. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for having us on this politics. Of course. Of course.

I think we actually, maybe we just need a revolt. And I mean, that is where we're headed. So let's do that. Yeah. Why the hell not? Yeah. I'm with you then maybe. Oh, yes.

Line them up. Let's line up. Put them on the wall. Line up. All right. That couch is the Lena and Mitch couches in sync. You can have a revolution. and legalized breast milk. Yeah, legalized breast milk.

Legalized breast milk. That's the thing that everyone's like, what? We're out in the streets. Signs. Hulk. Wags, I hate microwave meals and takeout is so expensive, but I just found the perfect win-win. It's called Tovala.

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To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to NordVPN.com slash DoBoys. Our link will also give you four extra months of the two-year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box. Let's talk about Hillstone via Houston, which we're going to be talking about today. So we went to the Pasadena location. We went for lunch on a Tuesday and needed a reservation because it is just that hopping. But we had a great time.

And speaking of the industry, our server, Renee, who I won't docks fully, is a comedian and a fellow TV writer who's a WGA member. Yes. So. Yeah. And she was a delight. She was great. She was a full name. Well, you don't have to docks her full name.

I mean, you don't have her address there or anything, do you? I don't know. I guess. Oh, I guess. Yeah, yeah. She works at a restaurant. She was a restaurant.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it was. I don't know how much, I don't know. You did do research and we found it, but she's in our,

very much in our world. She knows people we know. A lot of, a lot of credits on shows people know. I mean, yeah, someone who's been working a long time. Someone's got a lot of career achievements on that side. She was great. Currently, had worked at a Hillstone before and is back at one now and seems to love it. And speaking of which, Elena, you worked at a Hillstone.

I did. That was my first foray into Hillstone was I worked at the Houston's in Century City. When I first moved to L.A., I was a hostess. They never let me get out of that position. I was just stuck hostessing. I was like, get me in there. I have hostess energy. How do you transition from hostess to?

server. Is it like a big emotion? I never got there, Chelsea. I don't know. I tried. But they didn't tell you like, oh, you're not scoring on these metrics. Look, I think I showed up hungover a lot. And so maybe that was hurting me. Yeah, I could see how that could be. I was in my early 20s. I was partying too much, you know. But, uh, for me, they would think I'm too, are, are you, I'm, it's funny because you are spiller, but I think that people think I'm very clumsy. Yeah. Like Mrs. Tufo used to tell her kids not to walk next to me on the sidewalk because she was afraid I was going to knock them into the street. So that's like, like, Like, that is a, it's true.

Mitch has killed three kids. My friend's mom would be like, don't walk next to him, like, on the sidewalk. Like, he'll bump in you and, like, knock you into the street. Like, because she thought I was clumsy. Yeah. But I'm not that clumsy. No, you're not an oath. I'm not a spiller.

No. That's kind of mean. I'm clumsier. Yeah. No, I mean, like, I get her fear of me, you know, I get the fear of, like, you're a child. Yeah, your child get knocked in the street or something. I get that that's a real fear. But I, but I, but I, but I, but I, I'm not as clumsy as I look, I feel like.

but I feel like I would get that in a restaurant. I feel like they wouldn't let me be carrying a dish. Right. I'm not clumsy. No, you're... No, no, no. I didn't assume that you were. I did ballet for years, you know, so.

And you were the, that you're a perfect candidate to... Yeah, I'm pretty... But my first job was on the Santa Cruz Wharf, and I had to... At this seafood restaurant, and I had to carry enormous trays stacked with, like, ten chapinos. Like, you know, I mean, I'm good with a plate thing, you know? Whatever they're called. They're fucked up bad. Yeah, fucked up.

Wow. Well, also, you... I don't think you really deliver the food. I think there are runners who deliver them. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. But Houston's is very intense.

And there's not as many locations now, but we used up to wear headpieces, like secret service. Oh, my God. There would be three hostesses at each time, and everyone had a different job. So one hostess would be, like, resetting the new tables. And then you'd have to be, like, table five all day over the speaker because they have it, like, this great system where everyone needs to be out within an hour. Because they're all about turning over those tables. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. And also I got to assume, especially at the Century City, Houston's, you're getting wealthy clientele, but then also some celebs are probably popping in there. Megan Fox and what's his face from 90210.1 used to eat there all the time. This gives you the era because they were together. Faustino. No, Faustino is for married with children. What the hell is his name? Brian Austin Green. Brian Austin Green. And then, oh, I think I told you the story. Axel Rose one time came in. And so you couldn't wear hats in Houston. It was like a very strict rule. I think they've loosened up. I came into the restaurant wearing mine before you guys got there and why warned me, I think you can't wear your hat. So I took it off. Oh, I don't know if it's still true or not.

I wonder if they would have let you or not. Because back then, as the hostess, you'd have to go tell somebody like, you have to take your hat. You're supposed to tell them before. And my manager came over and was like, what is the name, Axel Rose? Is that his name? All of a sudden it's down. They're like, Axel Rose has his hat on. You got to go tell him to take it off.

So I was like, all right, I'll go tell him. And I went over and I was like, I'm so sorry, but we don't allow hats here. and he just said, eat my ass, and then got up and left. Oh, my God. That's like the worst case scenario. That's the thing that's so scary. I was shocked. I was like, oh, I think he was first was like, are you serious?

I was like, yes, I'm so sorry. And just eat my ass and just stormed out of there. He was pissed. I mean, he's a crazy man. What's that? That is rock star behavior. That's the kind of thing he had a reputation for it. That's crazy.

sad that he had to act like a rock star in that scenario. Maybe he didn't want to. He's like, I got to hold my reputation. I feel like Slash is the one known for hats. Like, what's his problem? Axel Rose? Like, he might have, maybe he was bald. That's what I think it is. It's a very sensitive thing to be asking men to take their hats off. Yeah, especially because he's like a guy who had these long locks. He got very self-conscious about it.

Balding, I take my hat off. He's, yeah, all right. Now I'm for that for him. Hurt people, hurt people. He was insecure, you know? I mean, I was shocked. Yeah. Slash wears Lincoln-type hats. He's a Lincoln hat wearer more so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which maybe would be allowed. I feel like it's a little bit more. A stovepipe. A stove pipe. Maybe would, like, if it's a dressy hat, do you allow it? Bring them back. Bring back the stove pipe. Yeah, yeah.

The next time you go to Houston's, where we're going. That reminds me of when I remember, oh, Jimmy's cleaning my jeans. I remember when I, uh, Jim Brooks was at the Simpsons office. and, like, called James L. Brooks, Jim Brooks. He's my boy, Jim. I was actually just on a Zoom, and they also were saying Jim Brooks, and I was like, oh, is this what I'm supposed to do? James L. When I worked there was Jim, it was me and Jim.

But they were like, he came in, and I took coffee orders, and this assistant was, like, too afraid to ask him for a coffee order. And he was like, will you go ask him for a coffee order? I don't want to fucking do that. Like, to be the person that has to, like, get, then have to do it. And I went to the door. I was like, hey Jim, and it was in a meeting with Seth Rogan, and he was like, hey, Jim, do you guys like want coffees?

And he was like 40 feet away and he got up, didn't say a word, came over the door, and went, no, and shut the door in my face. Oh, wow. Great guy. There's nothing but good stories about him. I love The Simpsons. I love everyone at the Simpsons. I'm just telling the, I'm just putting the story out there.

I'm getting some real Hollywood inside stuff. I love it. Too bad you just blew your shot to be in Elma K, too. I liked it when he did that to me I was fine with it I didn't give a shit I mean that is a very funny insane story but he sounds like an asshole

yeah yeah yeah yeah Houston's was is the original of the Hillstone restaurants founded in 1977 in Nashville by George Beale who's still the CEO some Houston's have been confusingly renamed Hillstone which is the name of the parent company so some Houston's are now Hillstones, like the one in Santa Monica was a Houston's.

Yeah, now it's a Hillstone. Now it's a Hillstone. It's whatever, but they operate about 50 restaurants split among a number of different brands, those ones, as well as Gulfstream, Bandera, and R&D Kitchen. And we reviewed a version of the Hillstone South Beverly Grill a few years ago, Mitch, with the other half of the Deli Boys, David Phillips. That's right. Yes.

Yeah. DP loves DP growing up out here, a huge fan of the Hillstone group. I've gone to, I've gone to Mandates with DP to Hillstones. We've had a great time. We saw, I've told the story before, we saw Arnold Schwarzenegger at R&D Kitchen. Oh. Yeah. His truck said, what did it say?

He had it, he pulled up in a Humvee that was camouflage that said the Terminator on the side. No. And then he got out of the driver's seat. There's no valet there. He got out of the driver's seat and then just walked in and just like left his car in the red zone. And then I saw his assistant was in the car, got out and parked the car for it. Oh.

Oh. Oh, yeah, real power move. He walked straight in. He just walked straight in and then just sat down at a table. I was like, this fucking rules. That's incredible. Also saying it's the Terminator, I mean,

you really defeats the camouflage. Weggs also has the Terminator. It's a different car, but your car says the Terminator on it as well. Yeah, that's right, yeah. It's a little Fiat. The Terninator. It's a great turner.

I saw a great turner. I saw Doc Rivers in there. We were together when we saw them? Yeah, we were. Yeah, yeah, we saw Doc Rivers in there. It's a, you see celebs in, if you go to the Hillstone group, you still see. Definitely. Speaking of Hollywood not, like I was saying, Hollywood falling apart, you walk into Houston's, it seems like you're back in the year 2000.

It feels like Hollywood's, yeah, hustling and bustling in there. Some Pasadena, so it's kind of, but like South Beverly Grill is in Beverly Hills, and it's right by a bunch of talent. and it's right by a bunch of talent agencies, so you will see kind of of of the power lunching sort there. So Renee, as we mentioned, was a wonderful server. Lennie, you mentioned the servers having to know the art. Yes. Which Renee was down to participate in and described,

explained the bear painting that you took a photo of. I took a photo of. You guys all kind of warned me that I was taking a photo of a table of women. Yeah. Which I realized was kind of... It was a little creepy. I zoomed in. I zoomed in after the first warning.

I zoomed in. And we'll post that. But I was drawn to that bear photo immediately. And Renée did know, she knew the background on that bear photo. Yeah, I think it was a painting, right? It was a photo. Oh, sorry, a painting. I don't know.

You took a picture of a picture. A photo of a painting. Yes, yes. I took a picture of the painting. Yeah. And she said it was a, it was like a diner favorite. Yeah. And she said some of the art was from the owner's personal collection.

That's right. Yes. So when I worked at the Houston's in Century City, we had to know, we had like cactus, cacti throughout the restaurant. And we had to know, like, each kind of cacti. It was like, this is the saguaro cactus. And you had to memorize a little blurb about every piece of art. So if anyone asked you, you could be like, oh, yes, this is an art piece by Donald Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, so strange.

Yeah. That's by Donald Trump. That's fucking wild. That is a lot of, that's a lot to, yeah, yeah, that's weird. That's a lot. It was pretty, I mean, it's a very corporate. But the thing is, you know what? I love Houston's.

Like, I love the vibe of the place. I love the food. So, while, you know, it's a lot, you have to know a lot of random shit when you work there. Also, by the way, having a guest that worked at the restaurant, huge in the doughboys. This is huge. This is huge. We don't always get this. We don't always get it.

And to specifically talk about the restaurant itself. But Renee seemed to really like it. She said she went back. You know what I mean? She seemed to a writing job that ended and came back to, took a break and then came back to the restaurant. Yeah. It just like, like, yeah, it seemed like it was a really good job. And I, when you were working there, did you remember like what your shift meal was?

You know, I was trying to remember. I think there was like a group meal. Okay, okay. But then you would get, you know, you could get half off the menu too. So if you wanted something from the menu, I think there would be like a group meal in the beginning of the shift. Although, you know, I don't know. Yeah, there must have been. Yeah.

A what? Like a family meal? Yeah, family meal. Like something that was in the back that you could just have. Like my chefs like made a thing and put it out for everyone. Yeah, exactly. But then you could also order half off of anything. So like at the end of your shift, if you wanted more food, which I always did, you could get more.

Hey, there you go. Yeah. And there's, I mean, that's a good, it seems like a place you won't get sick of what the. No. I mean, I still go eat there. And this was a long time ago that I worked there. I love Houston. I love it too.

Chelsea, what was your, your Hillstone experience going in? into this. Also, Chelsea has you have any, do you have, have, have you ever worked in the food industry? Yeah, I worked at Denny's. Wow. So very different vibe. I maybe had heard this on your last episode, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Denny's in Ohio. And, yeah, it was like one of the few that you, you didn't have to be old enough to serve liquor because they didn't serve any liquor. So therefore, they would hire high schoolers. So I, I worked there and it was a great experience. Did you have to memorize any cactuses? I didn't have to memorize anything. The only thing is.

is that I was shocked, and maybe this is true for all servers, but that was my first service job of like, we have to make the ranch dressing. We have to make all the Like Denny's? Yeah. We, the waiters. Yeah, at the end, that's part of your like end of shift stuff is

prepping a lot of the like stuff for the next day. And so there were just a lot more tasks than I ever thought. It was a powder. Oh, okay. But like you have to like mix it up in this big vat and shake it and add, you know, you, but I And like, that's in a way cooking.

I didn't realize I was going to be making food. And but it was, it was good. I did that for a summer and made, I mean, more than all my friends who were working in retail. And it was really, I mean, hellish in some ways because it was just constant turnover, not good tippers. But then the next summer I worked at a place, I don't know if it's chain. It's called Bravo, which is part of the like Brio collection of restaurants. Okay. And it was more fancy.

And that ended up being way worse because you'd only get maybe three tables and a shift. And it's like, boy, if one of them didn't tip, you'd be screwed. I told this on our podcast once, but there was once a table I had like 10 or 12 people. It was a big party. And so that was like my whole shift was just take care of this big party. And then the end of the meal came and they did a couple separate checks. And I assumed that they kind of thought each other was going to handle the tip. And so it was like a couple bucks on like hundreds of dollars worth that.

And I chased someone outside into the parking lot. I love it. And I made up a lie. I basically said I'm like, we actually, we have to report our tips. And if we get tips a low enough percentage, we can be fired because they assume. Well, I. Really? There you go.

I said it, I guess. I was like, and they'll just think the service was really bad. so can you please tip me 20% or I could get fired? And he was like, the guy was really flustered and then pulled out like a 50 or something. Good for you. I was like, if I get fired for this, so be it. This sucks. I was with a, I was with a Quincy.

Like this is like we were like 17 and I was with the Quincy crew and I won't out out who the person was, but he didn't have, he ate with us and didn't have money. And we're like, we don't have enough to like leave a tip or anything like that. And like, and he was like, I'll do it. And he left free movie tickets. and the waitress came out and was like, fuck you, I don't want these to him.

And we were all like, good. Like, we were like, it's his fault. Like, I mean, he fucked up so bad. Yeah.

Yeah. And you deserved it. I mean, like, me and I mean, like, me and I'll say, Micas was with me. And he was like,

fuck you, dude. You're like, that's your problem. You fucked up so bad. And also like at a time when they're like, like, I feel like everyone has credit cards. I'm not,

I always would pay 20% at least. Oh, yeah, of course. Forever. Back then, I'm saying, and even now I go over 20%, but like, uh, this is a thing, this is our, this is our job. We're very lucky to make good money doing a podcast talking about, uh, food service and, um, and chain restaurants and, uh, thank you both for your service when you were in the industry. You're welcome.

But we always try to, we, like, I think we tip generously as a result of being like just around this. So I make money from food. Yeah. I, I, I, and if I go to Del Taco, I sometimes we'll give them 20 bucks in the window or, or, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, and, if I, if I go to Del Taco, I, sometimes we'll give them 20 bucks in the window or, or Wendy's or something like that. I try to do stuff like that every so often. And I try to tip near 30%. And when I was younger, I was always...

So nice. I was always just embarrassed. I'm not even trying to... I'm not trying to pull that bullshit. I'm sorry. But I'm saying we're lucky. We make too much money from this podcast. And so, like, when it comes to food service stuff, I try to tip well on that ad.

Any single Alaskan ladies? And we're afforded that. But what is it now? is like 20% you should. I think it's like the minimum. Yeah, it's the minimum. When I worked at that seafood restaurant in Santa Cruz, because we get a lot of tourists,

international tourists, and so tipping wasn't, you know, the norm. So I'd always just automatically add 20% to any table that was more than four people I'd automatically add 20%. I think that's very fair. I think adding 20% in is is the way to do. And also, yes, like it's an American, Tipping is an American thing is the other issue. I don't remember why we were allowed to do that in the computer

because that probably shouldn't have been able to. I was like, I did. It was also like when I worked at the Co-check and people in New York City and people would be like, how much is the coat check? Co-check was free. But if they asked, I'd say $5. Yeah.

And I used to make like $1,500 a night. Wow. Good for you. Wow. Thank you. That rules. Put them up against the wall too. I don't give a shit.

Yeah, yeah. That's a victimless crime. But I Anyways, I was going to say this It seems like Denny's is like chaos And then that's controlled chaos But they both both a lot It feels like both a lot of both jobs are a lot of work

I don't know I don't know which would I don't know where I'd rather work honestly I honestly I prefer Denny's I mean from doing both I would say I was much more tired after Denny's But like it was never that high stakes Because if someone doesn't tip you on a $20 meal So what?

There's another there's another table every like 30 minutes. Yeah. You're just doing it constantly. But at fancy restaurants, I mean, like you said, our server was great. She really gave it her all. She had to memorize art. So it's like, boy, if she gets screwed on a table, it just, it's demoralizing.

And part of the Hillstone formula, my understanding is, Elena, maybe you have some insight, is that they are given a very limited number of tables per server. Like, I think they only have three tables that they're attending to at a time. Yeah, I think it's more than, yeah, but it is a smaller amount. It's like four or five. You're not being given like 10 and having a, you know, multitask so much. And everyone is doing everything. It's kind of all hands on deck when you're with the service.

Everything is like so organized and planned out. Everyone is doing like one thing. You know what I mean? Like one person is probably in charge of all the waters. I actually think I can't remember now, but you would literally cycle through. So one person, the hostess, would be riding down whoever checks in because they didn't use to take reservations. So it would always be like almost a two hour wait.

And you'd have to write down what the person was wearing and keep track of your people. And then by the time you would cycle back around to seating people, your people would be ready to be seated. You know what I mean? So, like, you would know their name. You would know what they look like. You'd be like writing down. So you were in the trenches. So not have the reservations also just makes it harder for you because people are just going to be getting mad and waiting two hours.

Oh, people would get mad and you'd have to write down what time they came in, how much you quoted them, how long it would be. So when they came up and said, you told, you know, we should have been seated by now. You go, actually, no, you came in at 1.15. I quoted you 45 minutes. And it's been 20. Like, it was crazy. I mean, very structured. Yeah, that's wild.

Yeah. It seems like a well-oiled machine over there still. I mean, it's very, it was packed. When we were in there, the fucking restaurant was packed. And it's so, so cozy in there. It's dark. Love the vibe. It's so great because it is, it does.

And I didn't, I didn't have anything to drink because. because I would have gotten too sleepy and we had to record afterwards, but it's a place where I'd always want to do a daytime cocktail. You just go inside and it's like, oh, it just feels like an evening out. Yes, I got the elderberry cocktail.

It was sensational. One of the best cocktails I've had in the last year. It was delicious. I stole a little sip of that and it was very good. It was so good. I would have had a martini if I weren't also breastfeeding. Although maybe I could have sold that milk for more.

Get healthy and a little bit. drunk. Did you take a sip of the cocktail, you sleepy bitch? Does this answer your question? Honk shoe, honk shoe. Oh, you did. You tried it. Don't call me a sleepy bitch. Mitch, we had

some iced tea and we had a little bit of her curfuffle here because I ordered a regular ice tea. You got a Diet Coke in a bottle and then you asked about the mango ice tea. And I think it was Renee was like kind of just managing your expectations that it's not maybe as sweet some people expect.

She's like, we have no real signature drinks here anymore, but she was like, we have this one iced tea that we, she told the story of how they made it at the other restaurant or something, right? Yes, right. And did she have a part in that? She had worked. No, she had worked at the first, like when Honor Bar next to South Beverly Girl opened, she was part of the first team that worked at Honor Bar.

And that was a drink that came from there, apparently, has since been populated to other Hillstones. And I said, I want to try this drink. I want to try the signature drink. I got it and it makes me ashamed that I was like Wags is going to really like this drink which I knew you I knew you were yes I not that I didn't dislike it I just it's just the right amount of boring for you with like a like a like the fun

like a fun enough kick that you're like this is fun and I think you did think it was fun and you liked it I did actually loved it I was like that was the thing I thought my my regular iced tea I was like all right this is fun this is ice tea but then I had the mango ice tea I was like oh this fucking great and not too sweet to me that's a that's a That was good. It was good. But I had a Diet Coke there and I had two, I was going, you were making fun of me for doing double drinks. Well, I mean, you know, you ultimately had three drinks because there was a water cup too, so. Oh, that was wild. Water cup. I never took a sip of water that whole lunch.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I stole just water. I never took a sip of water the whole lunch. You blamed the water cup on me. It was there. Also, start drinking water. Yeah, why are you proud of not drinking water? I've had watered in a decade. I hate hydrogen. I like oxygen. I just don't like when the two of them are mixed together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk food a little bit. Give me the O. I like that O. Eight. So app-wise, we got the spinach dip, which is one of their signatures. We got the deviled eggs, which I love there, and then guacamole. And then we also got some pressed Osaka-style sushi, which. This is the other thing about the Houston's is they got sushi and the sushi is good.

It's so good and it's weird because you think of this place as like a, you know, kind of not steak restaurant, but like steak restaurant adjacent. Down the middle of American. American grill. Yeah, it's American grill. Yeah, 100%. I mean, is that what it's called? I mean, it's an American.

I think that's the best way to classify it is American or new American. It's just a bunch of classics and comfort food. But there is almost an Asian fusion thing here because the salads also, there's the salads have like a, there's a sushi menu and then there's, yeah. There's a noodle salad, and then one of, like, the main salads has, like, kind of an Asian dressing. That's good. These apps, I love all of them. I mean, I would just say, like, for me, I have a special place in my heart for the deviled egg.

One thing they do that's a little bit of a panache at the Hillstones is they'll give you, like, a lot of dip and a moderate amount of chips. Yeah. And then they'll refill your chips with warm chips midway through, which is so fun. They asked to the point where we didn't even want chips anymore. But yeah, it is funny. I think, also, I'll say this, the real estate on the table, there's not a lot of room to work with. That is, that is the one, I'd say that's the one issue is that you don't have a ton of space on that table. Unless you get a booth.

We didn't get a booth. We didn't get a booth. Yeah, that was a part of the issue. Yeah. We also ordered an outlandish amount of food. Sure. We went through almost all of it. Yeah.

I will say that spinach dip is my favorite. I feel like maybe something changed. It's not, it's still delicious. but it feels not as delicious or have I changed. I don't know. But it was, I mean, it's still good, but something's a little off. Maybe it needs more salt. Can I be honest with you?

You didn't like it. You fucking changed. I changed. You've changed. I don't, I have only, I've had just the spinach. I guess I now have had the spinach chip for like over the course of like 14 or so years or whatever since I first had Hillstone and South Beverly Grill. But to me, I don't, I don't know. the difference of it, but I think it is a good

spinach dip, but was it better back in the day, you're saying? I feel like it was better, like, maybe saltier, or, like, I think it felt a little more indulgent. When I had it this time, I was like, this is good, but it could be cheesier. See, I, I had never had Hillstone before, and so this was

my first Houston's experience. Wow. And I, I'm not always the biggest spinach dip person, and I thought it was very indulgent. It's still good. It was so cheesy. Yeah. It was so rich. I thought, also doing it with tortilla chips was not what I expected. Oh.

I would think of a spinach tip usually with like a bread. A bread. Oh, yeah. A bread. I kind of agree with that. Like, yeah. Especially the tortilla chips with the salsa and the sour cream. And was it you who recommended putting it all together?

Oh, yeah. You got to do all three. I thought that was pretty inspired. I don't know. Oh, it's so good. I got to say that sour cream was great. And I know it's funny to say the sour cream was great, but it was very good. It was good.

It was good. The sour cream was great. All right. All right, I'm going to say it. The sour cream was great. Come on and say it. The salsa, I thought, was, I loved the salsa. I said it was maybe my favorite of the dips.

I really, really enjoyed the salsa. I mean, we ordered a lot of food, but I don't think that the appetizers were like crazy. We had a deviled egg. Yes. Chelsea, which you never tried a deviled egg before. I had never tried a devil egg. And I knew this is basically designed to be everything I don't like in a food. But I tried a tiny little bite.

And you know what? I can now say I have tried a tiny little bite. It was so small. It was like this much of a harm-willed egg. It was immediate, I do not like this. Which I think you get with a devil-deg, with that taste of the filling of the devil-egg, you get it pretty quick. And the texture. The texture is, I knew it was going to be a problem.

It's like, it's like the smallest cross-section. It's like of egg that you took. It's like what they would feed to Stewart Little. And you had one nibble and you're like, nope, not for me. Immediate rejection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very small. But I will say.

I personally, it felt like conquering a fear, so it was a big thing for me to force my side. I was impressed. I was actually blown away that you tried it. Chelsea often talks about all of the foods she does not like. I have a hard time expanding my palate. And I mean, that's the equivalent of like, you know, a normal person being like,

I'm going to try breast milk is me trying a deviled egg. You know what I mean? I'm like, oh, God. I was saying before this, I like the first time. my breast milk fit. Yeah, don't worry, we're marketing. We're going to be great.

My mom had, I was saying before this, so my mom had never had Indian food until the pandemic with me. And there's like some stuff that's not, like, this is not on her radar. It doesn't come up that often. But we got Safis last night. And like, Shwama, she was like, what's Shwama?

And then she had the, she was afterwards. She was like, that was a great dinner. She loved, she loved Safis. But Mitch, you keep saying this, but Safis is not Indian. You keep mentioning. No, I'm sorry. I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know that I know. Is it?

Is it like Middle Eastern Mediterranean Middle Eastern food? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I just want to. Yes. No, I was saying that she has she's like, so so a place like Safi's tour I think is like is similar to like Indian food. She's like it's not like a thing that she normally eats or whatever.

But then she had a blast last night. And I loved that she was trying food and she was loving it. And I also love that you tried it. And I'm sad. You hated it. Yeah. But it made me happy then that you guys got to enjoy more of it. Yeah.

So that was great. And there was plenty. Like we said, we ordered a lot. And also, I mean, I'm skipping ahead. But just the dessert, you guys took like one bite. And I said, I'll eat all of the rest. So I asked me, I got my fill. I ate the brownie.

The brownie was. It was a big lunch. But I didn't think the absolute like, I didn't think it was crazy. No, it was. The sushi was like, you get like a piece or a piece and a half or something. They don't give you a huge, like, it's not gigantic like typical chain restaurant portions. It's more reasonable portions of really high quality. prepared food. And we got the guacamole, which we, I mean, like, I like, I like, I like the spinach dip is more exciting.

Spinach dip is better. I mean, the guacamole is fine. It's fine. It was fine. It was very fresh. You liked it a lot? I was going to say, to your point, maybe under seasoned, maybe could have used some salt or something? I did salt, I think more lime. You squeeze the lime on for everybody. I thought like you could have used more lime, maybe some onions in it, some fresh cilantro. I also appreciate you guys. I think a lot of the time I was like, do you want me to squeeze like lime on here. I think a lot of people don't want me squeezing the lime. No, we wanted it.

Too hard? Careful, be gentle with the lime. I don't think I'm going to of mice and men the lime, you fucking asshole. You're hurting it, man. Stop! I just got, I think people think that I'm like a messy guy. They don't want my hands on the lime.

Here's, we have toddlers. We don't care. All right, all right, good. Yeah, I'm no messier than a toddler. You're not a sloppy guy. You're not a clumsy guy, and you're not a stinky guy. And I think those are things a lot of times people assume that of you. You look clean.

You're hygienic. I shower. Yeah. I shower. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look nice. You get up to some other stuff in there, too. Yeah, I do do some other stuff in there.

Under your nail. Yeah, I'm not a dirt under my nail. No, no, no, no. We were like, let me do the lime. And you were, you know, I would be like, hmm. But I think, and I actually hadn't showered that day. But I think big guys... You didn't need to tell us that.

That's how I regret it. You smelled fine. I was sitting next to you. You smelled great. Yeah. I just want to thank you for letting me squeeze the line. You're welcome. You're welcome.

Here's the guacamole. But I could have used way... I think that guacamole was kind of one of my disappointing things of the apps. Big chunks of avocado, which I liked, but I didn't like the corn in it. That feels like an unnecessary component. I agree. And, you know, normally you would say like, oh, the waiter... or not the waiter, like the chef must be a smoker,

so their flavors are off. In this case, I would say the chef should smoke. He needs to add more seasoning to everything. Or her, she, whoever they are. Yeah. Whoever's back there. But I mean, look, that's not, the sushi was great. The sushi was fantastic.

There was a lot of apps that were great. So it's like a little square sushi. It's pressed sushi. It's the one David Phillips got me eating years ago. And it's kind of my go-to. And it's a little bit of ahi and some like toasted rice in the bottom. It is it is so fucking yummy. So good.

The crispy rice is a nice element. Have you ever made your own sushi before? No. Have you? I have. Wow. Really? You love making sushi.

Yes. Well, because in the pandemic, I was, I'm, I don't remember why, but I made a bunch of vegetarian sushi one night. And then I just got hooked. I did it all the time. Wow. But I've never done it with crispy rice. And I think that might be my next, you know,

Next time I do it, try some crispy rice at the bottom. That crispy rice to me is the, yeah, that's, that's the, that makes it all come together. I love, I love that. A textural marvel. I agree with you. Yeah. And some great sauces on that too. I also want to say that we opened up, uh, to Emma and Amelia to come to you.

We opened the invitation to Emma and Amelia. You didn't, why didn't you come? Insane to me. I had to be here for a podcast recording before. So I couldn't make it. Wow. Oh. You guys didn't take them any food off to go?

They had to help install the face scanner and had guns. I guess we probably could have brought you leftovers or something. We didn't do anything. Yeah, we could have ordered something for you and brought it. I didn't think of that option. It doesn't feel like the kind of restaurant you eat to go from. It's not great to go. It's like you've got to eat it there.

Yeah, you got it. We got Bandera to go during the pandemic. And I love Bandera. The one that we used to go to is now close. and I agree. It was kind of disappointing. Disappointing. The service is such a huge part of it. Yeah. And the dark, smooth booths. Something about the booths. I love a booth. You mentioned martini. I meant to mention if you get a martini there and you're having it for a little bit,

they'll bring you a fresh, cold glass at a certain point and transfer it over. Yes, they do. Such pizzazz. God, I love that. I love this place. It is, it is. Also, I love that you love it having worked there because a lot of times I feel like that says something about the restaurant. We're sure. We got, we also got entrees. I got old mad because you ordered what I wanted.

You ordered what I wanted to. You could have gotten what I got. And yours was the best thing. Mine is the best. It's my favorite thing on the menu, the pan-fried sole. It's so fucking good. It's just absolutely delicious, perfectly fried fish. Just a thin piece.

They only have it. You fucking ordered before everyone. Could have let our guests order first. Yeah, that was rude. Hold on. No, no, no. I asked you guys to order first, I believe. I didn't override anyone else's order.

Anyone could have gotten the soul. I was like, I'm going to have it. Nick was like, I'm going to have it. Well, I was like, I'll get the rotisserie chicken. I was kind of thinking we would split it a little bit more, but that didn't really end up happening. You gave me a bite. I gave you a substantial bite. He also gave me a bite.

I don't know whose side I'm on there. I gave you both pretty big bites. I fucking wanted it. You could have gotten it. You should have gotten it. I should have gotten it. It was fucking good. Yeah.

Your rotissory chicken was yummy too, though. It was good. I'm like happy. I don't know if I would ever get it again, but it was, it was very, very good. What side came with that?

It came with like a, like a kale sloth. Oh, wait, or that was that yours. Mine came with a slaw, which is very amazing. Cale.

I should, I got to, now I've got to look it up. Which one? The salmon? For the, um, the rotissory chicken.

Oh, let me look. I have the pictures. I think kale slaws should just be like axed in general. I don't want a kale slas. It does just like a, a, like a salad,

a green salad of some sort. Okay. It might be kale. Hmm. We'll never know. I'm looking. I'm doing some investigation here. Okay.

All right, great. Mitch is on it. You're on the menu, Emma? I don't have to investigate. She's there. I have the pictures from your meal. Oh, okay. Okay, all right.

Hold on. I'll look at the menu. Go ahead, Wikes. Continue on. More fish, the salmon. Is that a go-to for you? No. No.

It's because I'm on an annoying diet because of my baby. Right. Because dairy upsets her stomach. Eggs upset her stomach. beans. So half the things I wanted to get, I couldn't get. Oh. So then I ended up with fish, which it was actually good, but it wouldn't have been my go-to. I would have probably gotten the veggie burger or the soul. Their veggie burger, they have their own patty. It is a good veggie burger. It's very good.

Yeah. Or sushi, but then we had already had sushi and I was like, well, do something different. I've figured out the mystery. Okay, great. The rotisserie is roasted with crushed herbs and apricot glaze with a warm kale panzanella. Oh, Pansanalla. Well, I like a Panzanella. I like cooked kale. I don't like kale in a salad. Like just straight up raw kale. I don't, I don't.

But cooked, I like. Yeah, yeah. Raw, it's too hard on my tummy. Here's the thing. And Nali does this. You can like massage it. You get some horse salt in there and you can tenderize it before you eat it. And so like that, like you can have, I've had raw versions of kale stuff that she's

prepared that I've really enjoyed. But yes, in general, you go to a restaurant, you're getting like this tough fucking, Or like the salad bar kale. It's like I don't want any of this. You know, get this out of here. And you've got to massage that kale for a long time. I mean, I've done it before and you're like, what, what am I doing? Just get regular lettuce.

I don't have to massage. Other lettuce. Such a high-maintenance salad, you know. Do you think that's what Robert Kraft was doing at that parlor? Do you think he was just bringing kale? I think you maybe was just bring kale to the parlor. Chelsea, you got the cheeseburger. How was that burger?

I did. Okay. So I liked it, but here's my thing. And maybe this is just like the Midwest, a $25 burger. I am so on board with you right now. If you're charging $25 for a burger, it better blow me away. And I would say it was good. It was good.

It was good. It wasn't. Was I the only one who took a bite of it? I think so. Yeah, yeah. I would say they went hard on the pickles and the sauce. Oh, so good. And it made it.

I thought a little too pickly. The bread was incredible, the bun. And obviously, like, it was cooked well. It was good. And, like, it came with fries, shoe string fries. They were good. They weren't knock your socks off. So in general, I think I liked it.

But would I ever pay $25 for that? No. The shoes just shoot, the shoe, first of all, I got to say, shoe string fries, I don't know. I agree. I love shoesting fries, but they need to be done. They were fine. They were warm enough.

They were absolutely adequate. But I just, you know, I want them to be like crispy and salty and juicy and oily and oily. And oily. I want a real. I want it to be decadent. Also, you got to, for me, I need like a little bit of potato. And then when it's when it's shoestring, it almost tastes like like a, like, what are the potato sticks? You know what I'm talking about?

I know what you mean? I love, see, I like that. I do like it too. I don't need the potato part. Yeah. But I was going to say one thing I do like is the dip in sauces there. There's aoli and then there's obviously ketchup. But did you try that aoli? Yes. Yeah. So it comes with the spicy mayo that I got on the side so that way I could do that. And then I also got a ketchup. And so that way I could do a little bit of both. And I liked it. I liked especially the spicy mayo with the fries. I thought was pretty good. A lot of fun. I didn't feel I didn't love it on the burger. I was glad I got it on the side for that because the burger already had a lot of sauce and other flavors. But it was, it was. good. I'm going to grab my phone just

because I took half of it home and I got my three-year-old to try it and I got his review of it as well. Oh my god. Oh, I love this. Wait, what did you take home? The other half of my burger. I can't wait to listen to your three-year-old give a more nuanced review of the restaurant than Weiger and I.

And obviously feel free to cut this out if you. No, are you kidding me? But here we go. I love that you got this. Yeah, yeah. So he ate it And he's kind of a, he likes everything. He is the opposite of me, which is great. So here is him with the burger. Hopefully you can hear it.

Oh, sorry. Oh, my gosh, he's so cute. What are some of the flavors you're tasting? Um, tea, pickle, salty. Mm-hmm. What else? Seedy. Seedy?

Yeah. Because of these seeds on it? Mm-hmm. Is it sweet? Yeah. Is it sour? No. No?

Not even with the pickles? Yeah. Leave me alone, Mommy. What's the favorite part of the burger? The bread. The bread. Why do you like the bread the best? I can see it a lot.

Because you can see it a lot? Yeah. And it's brown, you know, that I can get playing or western. Mm, okay, yeah. Well, it's a really good hamburger bun, so that makes sense. Wow, you really... First of all, that's adorable. So, cute.

So comprehensive. And it was better than our reviews. Well, I do like that he's like... We might need you here to, like, lead us for reviews from some time. No, I like that he was like, I would eat this bread on its own. I could eat it by itself or with the burger, because that's how I felt, too, The bread was really, it was a toasted bun, which I don't usually like, because I think sometimes that makes it dry and too hard. But this still was very soft, but a really nice toasting.

And he mentioned the sesame seeds on top, which I really liked on it. Me too. So often you, we've talked about this before, but you got a briosh bun, right? Is that the, is that the, the, the briosch got very overplayed, yeah. Yeah, I love, I love the sesame bun there. I do just wish the burger was like 10% better, like the actual burger itself was 10% better or something. Here's what I'll say, like, at a Hillstone, for me, I think you made the right call. I think they should do a knock your socks off burger because most of their stuff is extremely good.

But I think they offer a burger almost out of a sense of obligation. I think they're like they have like the, you know, their fried chicken sandwich, their fish sandwich when they have it. Their prime rib French dip, I think, are more of the showstoppers in the handhelds department. This guy's angling for a platinum plate club score, isn't he? I'll say right now, this is a five forker for me. easy. The easiest five forks of my fucking life. Wow.

Yeah. But we'll get to that. Just like the burger, the cheese on it. It should be like melting. You know, the guy, get it to a good burger. Totally agree. A little patty of butter in the middle of the burger before you cook it. Wow.

That's what they used to do at Bowery. Do you remember Bowery on sunset? I remember Bowery? I also worked there for a while. Wow. And that's what they would do there. That was the secret. That place had a great.

It was such a good burger. Great burger on a, I wish it was still around. Great burger on a, fucking English muffin. It was so yummy. It was one of the best burgers in L.A. And also a great tuna melt. Oh, right.

I'm not even a tuna melt person, but that converted me. The English muffin, I just am now recalling. I mean, at the beginning of the burger boom, which we all know. Yeah. 2008. You know, that's, you nailed it. It was 2007, 2007, 2008 was right around what it happened because I started with a financial crisis. Yeah, we were all eating our feelings.

We were eating burgers, Obama. became president. What a time. What a time. I remember I worked at The Simpsons. And by the way, I want to say, Seth Rogan was very, and he was very nice. And his writing partner, Evan,

they were both very nice in that Jim Brooks story where the door got shut my face. They weren't like, close the door. Yeah, they were very, very nice. The entire time they were there. But I worked at the Simpsons and Selman. I remember I read about

the chain that we've been to that since closed that was like the Umami Burmami Burger. Umami burger. And that was like that, that was like that. And it was 2007 when I started working there. I was like, that was the beginning of the burger boom in, uh, in Los Angeles. But I forgot.

I remember eating that burger just now when you said English muffin. They're still around it. LAX. Yeah. Umami burger. Yeah. That's where chains go to die. Like so many chains die and they are.

Oh. And it was bad. Yeah. Yeah. A sad story there. But that's like so many. But you know what? I mean like, when Umami burger was.

that it's best. I do think a better burger maybe than what was at Hillstone, but still a good, decent, classic burger. I mean, yeah, it's a burger. That's a burger-focused concept. They should do a better burger. But I totally get what you're saying. I don't, I'm not defending the Hillston's, the Hillstone burger. It's like, it's not

what I would have. You want this in the fucking platinum play club. It's all right. It's golden the platinum play club, bitch. Well, we'll see. We'll see right now. I'm speaking to Mami Burger, I saw this insane video of, like, there's this YouTuber who goes and, like, like takes squatters out of homes.

It's like, he's probably like what he's doing is mostly kind of shitty. But he was like, he goes there and there was a guy who was squatting an old woman's home and like got in there and he was just staying there without paying rent. And it was the founder of Umami Burger who had fallen off of hard time on hard times. And he like ended up evicting this guy as part of the process. It was like, this is the fucking insane piece of video. He'd also seem to be like on drugs or something. Oh, okay. Because I was like, where did his Umami fortune go?

but you just answered it. Okay. What the fuck is your playlist over there on YouTube? Fucking followed by an ice video, you fucking freak? What the fuck is going on? Natalie got me watching drains being unclogged. That's a lot of fun. You ever watch those?

That's so satisfying. So satisfying. It is? I don't think I want to see that. No. You don't see what gets pulled out. You just see the drain finally go. What do you see?

A lot of times it's not like shit. It's like a big. Like a sewer drain or something. Yeah. Like something's flooded. Yeah. This is like the new pit bull popping is the drains getting unclogged. See, that revulses, that repulses me.

Do you watch power washing videos where people power washed up? I fucking love that. Oh, I can get into that. It's so satisfying. I like want someone to hand me a power washer and a dirty fence and be like, here you go. Have a good afternoon. A lot of the Chester Metal cast loved, I think we maybe watch someone, but when like they take the hooves up. I was going to say horse hoof cleaning videos.

Oh, seriously. Oh, that's on the spectrum. am I the only one not? I'm like, why would you watch these boring things? Maybe I'm the only one who is. You guys are normal. I don't like the, I don't like pimple popping stuff, and then I watch some of the horse clean.

And then you knew about it too. I watch those every night. It's like ASMR, kind of. It's like goo coming out of their hook. They have cysts and they scrape away at the hub until it shoots out and then they clean it, they disinfect it and they clean it up. It's very nice for the horse.

I thought it was more. I thought we're just like dirt. They like it. Yeah. Hey, the horses love it. This is a gross episode. I don't need to see. Actually, this is one of our least gross episodes in a very long time, sadly.

Yeah, breast milk was too far. Emily, you should try it. You should play Power Wash simulator if you haven't. Okay. I love that game. Can I get it on Switch or is it a phone, an iPad? I think you can get it on Switch. Okay.

I know what I'm. doing tonight. Let's talk dessert, unless anyone has anything else to say on the savory side. The five nut brownie and the key lime pie, we were all, I was fucking full, but it was good to be comprehensive and get some desserts. Mitch knew I wanted the key lime pie, so he was very nice and let me order it. I hate it that I know like, it's like my mom and sister this week. I was like, mom's going to like that. I flew my mom and sister out for Valentine's Day. Oh.

Fuck you. I don't know, whatever you're thinking, just shut up. But I know with you now what you like. It sickens me. I know what you like. I know it sucks. I don't like it. Why's that?

It's sweet. We're friends. No, it's not. I know things about each other. You can turn this into an episode. Like you both pick your meals, tell Amelia and I what they are, and then you have to order for each other. We see if you get it right. I would get a lot of it right.

Oh, yeah. Have you showed me a menu and you're like, what would Wiger like from it? I know that now. That makes me sick to my stomach. It sucks. That's like an old married couple. Yeah, it's like, what's that? that show, the honeymoon show,

the dating game? The movie? Newly weds, yeah. You played that. I think you're thinking of heated rivalry. That's what it's like with us now. I think every time we've played that on the podcast, they've beat the married couple.

Let's just clarify, it's the chulewed game. The chulewede game. Apologies. Yeah, sorry, we need to brand it. I love the key lime pie. I didn't try the five-nut brownie because I didn't know which nuts were in there, but I thought the key lime pie was delicious. I agree. I ate 80% of it.

Thank you for letting me do that. That was great. So good. I was, I ate a lot. I did some damage on that, the brownie, the nut brownie with the vanilla ice cream on the side, right? Yeah, yeah, vanilla ice cream. It was phenomenal. I do feel like the desserts really were, that couch was the brownie, this couch was the Keelon pie. Yeah. I'm not so much of a pie gal. I mean, I like a lily koi pie in Kauai. That is very specific, but that is the one pie I love. I just, I, I didn't have that, but I was in Hawaii and I had the, is it like a hula pie? There was some sort of pie that was like, that's, but I didn't, I went to, I went to, I didn't go to Kauai.

So, yeah, yeah, yeah, go to Kauai. You guys hop on a plane tonight, go. Get the Lilacoi pie. The only time he has crossed an ocean, Hawaii when you were, when you were younger. You don't like flying. I'm okay. I can, I just like flying over a big body of water that said it just really, I don't know. Have you ever had moments where you're like, oh, this is, I'm going down.

Like this is, I've had a few moments where I've thought I was going down and I got to say like in those moments, I get so peaceful. That's the thing too. I'm kind of like, that's okay. Like, I'm okay. Like, and this is going to be quick. No, anytime I felt like death is imminent, I've been completely at peace. Peaceful. But I have anxiety about the possibility.

Yes, me too. I have anxiety about the possibility. But then in the moment where I'm like, I'm dying. I'm like, I'm okay. This is fine. Yeah. Sorry. I like to talk about death a lot.

Chelsea doesn't like it as. I just feels weird. If we ever fly together and we're going down, I'm going down. If you catch my drift. I'm going to make it one, I'm going to make it one, I'm going to make it a nice flight for you on the way down. That's what we just talked about in one of our episodes. I think on crazy rich Asians, I was like, do you think anyone's ever been like, oh my God, we're crashing.

Now, mile high club. Yeah, like, let's do it right now. As we're going down, because that might be kind of a high. Like, you're, who, you get the adrenaline from dying. I can think of a perfect way to end my life than me, like turning to women being like, may I kiss you and her saying, no, and then the plane exploding or whatever. I don't know.

I think this development might make Wags like beg to do overseas shows. They have those movies like that. We're right as like people are crashing, you divulge something and this could be a new take where it's like you think you're crashing. You're going down and then it's like, nope.

The plane writes itself and you guys just have to awkwardly with this for the rest of your life. Oh, might as well finish well, I'm down here. That's a rummed. We're still in the runway. He's that 2028 No Boy's flashlight. And I added a little espresso, which is nice.

I like getting espresso for lunch. Why not? If I could handle caffeine, I would. They got the little Diet Coke bottles. Right? They have the mini bottles, yeah. Which I'd like, but then it's just, I also just like a free refill instead.

It's not enough. Yeah. No Coke zero there yet either. And I'm, I've turned to Coke zero. I'm a Coke zero guy now. Better than Diet Coke? Once I started GL1s, I was a Diet Coke person through and through, and then I started taking GLP ones. I don't know if it changed my taste or something.

Yeah, I don't know what happened. You know, I'll say this. I love a Diet Coke. This is a fair. I still will drink it if there's, if there's no other options. This is a fair criticism of the Hillstone family of restaurants. Their non-alcoholic beverage selection could be improved. Like, they don't, like, they have, like, a few.

soft drinks. They have fine ice tea. They don't have like a lemonade. I don't know. They might, have an NA beer at this point. But like, as someone who goes out sometimes or has stretches where I'm not drinking, it's, it's nice to have options. And I feel a little limited. This is as damning as you'll get to this restaurant. I will say, in their defense, you can say, I would like a mocktail. And they will whip one up for you. You know, you can say I want something. That's nice. They will do that because my husband doesn't drink. And we, you know, when we go there, he gets a delicious moktail. Hey, pro tip. There you go. And they will kind of make you anything you I think I had a mitai the last time I was,

they just made me up a Mai Tai when I was at South Beverly Grill. They will just, they'll make you something if you asked for a lot. A non-alcoholic Maito? Oh, no, no, just in my time. Yeah, yeah, because I don't know if it was on the menu and I ordered it. I think they just made me one. But, but look, it's a good, the desserts were great. It was a great experience.

We should get to her. Chelsea's car almost got towed. It was scary. Yeah, we didn't talk about that. Well, it was hopping. I mean, the parking lot was so busy because, I mean, like you said, just random weekday. It was, the place was packed.

So I made the mistake of parking on the street. And I thought, you know, we're not going to take that long at this lunch. And then we just had fun, you know? It was a nice vibe. We got dessert. And then I realized my car was going to be towed. So I really raced out and it was fine, guys. My car did not get toad.

I was so nervous. Well, Nick was like, if it's toad, it's on us. I was like, oh, shit. Why do you see that? Don't offer her that. By the way, I mean, of course it would have been on us, but I was, then it turned into a fear for all. I was very nervous when car was going to be towed. It was.

It was nerve-wracking. It was nerve-wracking. It was my own stupidity. I just was having so much fun. I thought there was no way we were going to take like a two-hour lunch. Well, I will say, there are always spots opening up, though, because Hillstone, they know how to turn those tables. I think the issue is a 65-year-old millionaires are bad at parking. That was, that was my experience in the, in the parking lot was that it was like, oh, this rich.

old person is doing a very bad job that I'm weighing behind. So I get street parking was I feel like the better move. I thought it was going to be, you know, fine. And I also, I really didn't want to be late for you guys. And instead, I left early. So, yeah, I really, I messed it up. It worked

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Just watching. Okay. We should get to our fork score. So here's how this will go. We'll each go around. We'll give a closing argument, if you will, on this particular chain. And end by giving it a score.

from zero to five forks. I'm going to start because I'm not going to fly under any false flags here. I love Hillstone. I love Houston's. I don't even know it's my favorite of all of them, but Houston's on its own is a five fork or easy for me. I think it's, I think the level of service, the atmosphere is just absolutely top-notch. I think it's everything a chain restaurant should be.

And it's like it feels, it's a chain that doesn't feel like a chain. each restaurant still feels like its own individual institution and I fucking love it I love going there I had the time my fucking life it's such a great time with all of you

Here here Here here Yeah yeah yeah It was the time of my life Hanging with Wags I liked it when you guys arrived I was I was alone with him For a good 15 minutes

We are We are no We are I know I'm just saying When it was just him and me alone It was it was I had a blast that day Did you have good gossip?

I can't remember. We all got some good gossip. Oh, yeah, we did have some gossip. I feel like you're, this is very heated rivalry. You're really hot and cold. A second ago, you're like, I will service you, Nick. Now you're like, I'm going to be alone with him. Yuck.

I got a key on his toe. This is a real rivalry. And you're I'm Ilya. You're obviously Shane. This is a debated. Amelia said, I'm I'm I'm I'm Illia and Mitch is Shane. Well, right now he's neck now. He's illia.

I have, we both have you, but, you both have you, but, you're, you. You were very quiet and kind of cold like Ilya can be, right? Yeah, and of Eastern European stock. Yes. And you are, you love your mom very much. That is true. I had the time of my life with you, too. Thank you.

You were there as well. I love them. And I like the restaurant. I'll wait. I'm going to go last. Okay, Chelsea, your thoughts, your fork score. Oh, boy. Remember, he wants you to give it five forks.

You used to give it. I want you to give it whatever your heart says. Stress. ruin it for you? Like, are you not allowed to give it platinum? Okay, all right, I was going to do three. Three, four. Oh my God. Is that really bad?

With a out of five, it's a double of average. Chelsea, I thought you came on here to get people to listen to your pot. No, four, four, four, four. No, three four years fine. One of the best cocktails, an incredible dessert. So how are you getting to three? Because I thought the apps were good. You said you liked the spinach.

I did, but like, again, I was so light. and everything was like kind of pricey and it was so popular. It's my fault then. I felt like we're fighting against some of the hype here. Oh, it's my fault. But then again, you know what? I think three is too low because the ambiance I loved. Yeah.

I loved the vibe of it. I loved the service. I liked the art. Service is very, very good. I like, so you know what? I would say the food was a three comparative to the hype, but the service bumps it up to a four. Wow. Four forks.

Four forks. Wow. Okay. Good scores. He's great. It's got to wham. He's always got that thing in his mouth. Don't worry.

So do you, apparently. Elena. Elena, your thoughts, your fork score. I'm giving it five forks. Hell yeah. I love Houston. It's like one of my favorite restaurants. It's a cozy place.

I love being there. I love that you can walk in the middle of the day and suddenly you're like, it's evening. I'm having a cocktail. It's a place where you can have a cocktail any time of the day. is okay. You know what I mean? Not that that's the only reason I'm, I didn't have a cocktail. I had wine, but I want to go back and have a cocktail. And I love their spinach dip. I love their, they have great salads. We didn't have a salad. We didn't have a salad. But their salads are phenomenal.

Sushi, phenomenal. My mouth is watering. My mouth is watering now. Just thinking about everything again. I want to go back. I want to go back. And those booths, I do want to go back. I want to try something else. Chelsea, I don't know. I think it's just going to be the three of us. I don't know if is going to invite you back this time. You're welcome anytime. Would you consider yourself a picky eater? Yes, yes.

Chelsea's very picky. Okay. I, guys, Chelsea likes like macaroni and cheese. A second ago, I was like, I'm the only one not on the spectrum. I'm like, I don't know. The food just makes me nervous.

And I shut down. I don't know. It doesn't everyone get overwhelmed by flavor? I don't know. I just remember you saying that you didn't eat sushi and then you didn't have devil. So that's why I was wondering if you don't have any fish, right?

Yes. Yeah, no seafood. Yes. I just, yeah, yeah. When people say they don't eat seafood, I always think that they might be a picky eater. I am a picky eater. Which there's nothing wrong with being a picky eater,

to be clear. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a picky eater. I would say I used to be a severely picky eater in a way that, like, really limited my life, and I have worked a lot on that to expand it. So now I'm a normal person. No, no, no, no, you are not normal. You are very picky.

The amount of times we'll talk. about food and you'll be like, I won't eat that. I won't eat. I'm just, look, I'm just saying you are a picky eater. I know. I know. I love you. I know.

How would it, I want to, I kind of want to hear. How would it like, in what, like, are you saying like being in rooms and stuff? Like, would you have to make you bring your own lunch or like what, like, what, like, what level? Like, especially like when I was like dating, if someone like picked a restaurant or like once I went on a date where this guy, uh, ordered for me, took me to this nice restaurant and he was like some Google engineer. So I was trying to show off and ordered all this. stuff and I was like this is my nightmare I need to ask what is in all of the

things because I was really bad when I was in my early 20s. Yeah. Just I had never like had any other types of like food until I moved to New York and then I suddenly was like what do you mean I have to now figure out what Korean food is. It was a lot of anxiety for me.

It's exposure. That's like when I was talking about my mom earlier. It's like what you're exposed to and what you're used to and what's available. I feel like I can get something anywhere. There's always stuff. We had an order when we were at that punchup room, and you got like a turkey sandwich that you then didn't eat because you didn't like it. I'm just saying, yeah, I decided I would rather eat a cookie for lunch rather than the lunch. Yeah, there was that a turkey sandwich that you didn't like that.

What was it? It was who can say, probably a lot of things. But you do eat mayo. I feel like not eating mayo is also another. Yeah, I mean this. Guys, I don't think it's okay. I don't think there's anything to be. I don't think there's anything to be.

I don't think there's a lot of people who are picky eaters. We have picky eaters. I don't like, yeah, yeah. I would say in general, sauces are a newer thing that I have pressed myself to like aoli's, to like sauces. I used to, I used to not do salad dressing. I used to not do any of that stuff. It was all too much. Now I've really, I've grown, guys.

You may not see it, but I'm doing the work. I find this charming about you, which is why I'm outing you. I'm not trying to be an asshole. No, no. No, it's true. Alana and I give each other a lot of shit on our podcast. So, you know, it's fine. I'm Mexican.

I come from a very adventurous eating family. You know, there's like blood sausage. I'm vegetarian now. But just to say, like, I was raised with a lot of... You told a story about being a little kid and seeing an aunt and going, I wonder what that tastes like. And just eating ants. I ate an aunt. Yeah.

Salty. That's the answer. I have the opposite experience. I have the opposite experience of that where I remember it was a carpenter ant. and it was like a big aunt that was in my Coca-Cola at my grandma's house. And I like forever was like bugs. No, I was, that was, I was mortified. I was more of a big eater when I was younger and then I just ate everything as time went on.

But then I went to, and bugs, you will eat bugs. You're a man who will eat bug. Yeah. He'll eat a bug if it's fried up. I went to Mexico. I went to a, uh, uh, uh, uh, Pujol in Mexico City. And, and it was, and there was like ant larva in like, uh, in like some stuff. and I was like very nervous, but it was like, this is a five star, whatever. Like it's like a Michelin winning restaurant or whatever,

or Michelin Award winning restaurant. I was like, I'll eat whatever. Jemmy is, there's an issue, there's a situation going on where you and Jemmy are in the stare off and I've seen it for like 10 minutes now. She came over, she's been fixated on me, she's been right in my face, which she never does in the podcast. This is highly unusual. I think the AC was really low.

The people next door stopped recording, so it's gone back to Norma. And I think she was cold. So I think she's trying to snubby. I don't know what she's trying to do. Go ahead. Go up here. I did it was from when Mitch was... She was...

I was swinging at her face for a while. Sit with Uncle Wags, Nan Chelsea. Come on up here. Dogs are like this thing. They're about diarrhea everywhere. You know, this is happened out of Thanksgiving at my house one. She's very good with that, though she will sometimes.

She's let out like two jemmy farce over the course of it a few times. But yeah, see, she just went snugs. Oh, my gosh. That's adorable. What a little cutie. Jimmy is on my side of the couch now for audio listeners. I'm not a picky eater anymore. But I understand that and I'm not, we're not shaming you at all.

No, no, I'm not worried about you guys. You guys are very open and accepting. I just know that like, yeah. There's a lot of, we have a lot of picky fucking annoying listeners. No, I'm not the right. Here's the thing. One of a blogs on this podcast. I'm just being, I'm, I'm, I'm clawing my way.

You belong. You belong on this podcast because you're our friend. And you're funny and talented. Well, great. The baiting worked. You're beautiful. I have the time of my life at the restaurant. And I'm going to say this.

I was waiting to go last because I thought it would be fun to torture him about it not getting into the Platinum Play Club. But sadly, why, it would have gotten into the Platinum Play Club. I think we judge the restaurants on what they're trying to do and obviously the food and what they're trying to do. And for me, it is expensive. some stuff could be better, but it's a five-fork restaurant. Wow. Five-froes from Mike Mitchell. It would have gotten in there.

Yeah, yeah. It would have gotten in there. But it does get in the golden plate club, the hallowed halls, with four forks all around. So how about that? Well, you yelled to Justin. But it's still in. So I kept it from platinum by not having it.

Don't adjust your score. I didn't even want you to go up to four. I want you to adjust it back to three. Yeah, you go down to three. I think the thing is that I don't know, like, the baseline. Do you know what I mean? Like you guys are eating, your own opinion. No, I'm just saying you guys eat a lot of shit. We do eat a lot of garbage. You eat a lot of garbage. So of course, like a solid good meal that's worth five forks. I'm saying when I go to a fancy, nice place,

you know what I mean? I'm comparing it to only other Hillstone caliber restaurants. For this podcast, I think you're right. It probably is a five star one. You do make a good point about it, though, that for the price and what it is, like it, you, there are, our nicer Safi's restaurant last night is a better restaurant. You can get better quality of places. You know, it's a similar eye. No, no. Come on.

No. I like Granville and I think I'm on yours. I like and I like Granville too, but that is not Houston's level. Even in the interior, no. You can certainly go to restaurants, fine dining restaurants that are a better quality of food than a Hillstone for sure. But the Houston, that's the whole thing. The Ambiance. It's the total package.

Yeah. No, so that's the thing. It's at least a four for that. Yeah. But again, I'm not comparing it to that baseline that you guys are. Has Granville gotten just, has Granville gotten the writer's room lunch treatment? Has it been, is it ordered a lot or no? No, I think it's a little too.

Too pricey. Give us some context for Granville for people who are in L.A. Granville is like, it's, I'd say it's a luxury, fast casual. It's also new American. Yeah. The price point is very similar to Houston's. Yes. I would say actually the ambiance is very nice.

It's a lot of like patio, a lot of like big wood table, lots of plans. But compared to Houston seems like Houston's is. Houston's a very different vibe. Yeah. This is very, I would say. They won't even let Axel wear his hat. Yeah, that's trying to be a more upscale, whereas I think Granville is trying to be very like L.A. patio vibe. We've got string lights.

Look, by the way, our listeners may be just as mad at you for not getting it into the Platinum Play Club. as they are at you for not letting Axel wear his hat. There is a good chance that they get very mad at you for asking Axel Rose to take his hat off. What they're actually going to be mad at is us having a $300 lunch. They should have given that money to Palestinian refugees. We're making content. We do it. We will now.

I don't be laugh. I shouldn't be laughing. This is real. You know, Grace and Frankie, the best place that we would go to for lunch. This is, you know, this is still the heyday of TV, guys. We would get to go to Republiq for lunch. Wow. And it was so good.

Wow. Oh, my God. That is a real fancy. That is fancy. Yeah, that is. The bread there is so good. And dip it in the chicken drippings. As a vegetarian, I'm really sounding like a meat eater.

See, Hollywood has changed a little bit. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah. You're not going to Republiq anymore. No, there's no more Republic. Frankie doesn't exist anymore. That's also, yeah. Yeah.

You've got a good run, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Great run. Yeah. Look, a good outing. A great outing for a great outing, the Golden Plate Club is, I reset and I fucked it up again. You're too focused on Jimmy.

She's so cute. A good outing for Houston's, which gets in the Golden Plate Club. What the fuck is going on? Where is Jimmy sucking out your life? Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you having, because of the Wi-Fi from the security system, are you fucking malfunctioning? Yeah, there's a frequency thing happening with his AI. I'll fix it later.

Golden Plate Club, poor Houston's. It's time for a segment. We've got a food stuff. We're going to decide if you should put in your mouth. Snack or whack has returned. See, I should have brought the milk. I could have dunked. So we have a very seasonal new LTO

Oreo stuff of legends. This is a power-up, save the universe, introducing color-changing cream. Supposedly this tastes the same as a normal Oreo. But only have dipped in breast milk, really. I do think you have to, like, lick it or eat it. It has to get... You have to lick it.

Yeah, if you lick it, it changes color. Yeah, if you lick the outside, you lick the cream, apparently it turns from, I think, gray to blue. Yeah, the normal gray looks pretty unappealing. And then we also have these Oreo thins. Famously gray. Chocolate ganache. flavored Oreo Thins.

And Mitch, we have something that's very not seasonal. Not seasonal, but we got it. Honestly, we got this, we opened this right before For the holidays, maybe. I brought these to our end holiday party, our end holiday dinner, our end holiday

dinner, our holiday dinner, at the end of the year, year end holiday dinner at wait, not Moose-Orens. Connie and Ted's. Another two-name restaurant. And we were like, hey, maybe we can do a video and do like a snack or whack video and and we never did it.

But why? There's a note here. We're sent to us from listeners to the doughboys. These Oreos are, uh, these Oreos shipped from Braintree Mass to Quincy Mass to Boise Idaho, where we live, and now to L.A.

My wife and I buy every new Oreo flavor and bring them to our annual family reunion for a taste test. We had an extra tin of these, uh, extra 10 of these abominations and thought, who better to try? Happy belated Thanksgiving. Kyle and Haley.

Thank you, Kyle and Haley. We have the Thanksgiving dinner-inspired Oreos, which should be horrible. Wait, like turkey flavor? That, are they? Like sweet potato? Oh, there's a, there's an answer key on there. Okay, here we go. You can, you can read it.

No, no, no, no, wait, babe, boom. I'll see. No, do it. You started. All right, all right. We've got a pumpkin pie flavor, which that sounds great. Fun. Cream corn, I don't know, caramel, apple pie,

cranberry sauce, turkey. and stuffing and sweet potato. So all of those flavors are in there? Supposedly. What? Or maybe just one of each? Yeah, I don't think it's in every flavor situation. Oh, okay, so we're going to have to share.

We're going to have to take bites or share or. Yeah, yeah, that's. Do you want me to get a knife on the- Sure. Oh, my God. I'm going to say this. Yeah. There's a smell when you open up the container.

You can smell these, these. Let's take them one at a time. Let's start by circulating these Oreo Thins ganache. Okay. So I'm going to take one of these bad boys. I probably should take it a couple. Oh, man. I really should have.

brought my milk. It would have been so good to dunk right now. Honestly, the Thanksgiving Oreos would not be good even in any breast milk. I think, I think these are, these seem to be not dunkers in my mind. These ones is a snack. All right. I was going to say these ones.

There's two cookies, so we just have to split these cookies in half, the other ones. I like these ones. Chocolate ganache Oreos. I like the ratio of the thins. Yeah, the thin with it. Did they come in non-thens or are they only in thins? I'm not sure. But thin is in. Oh, my God.

Meals? Thin and d'en. Are the, do these come in nons or these? No, just the things. They're really good. Those are damn good. Yeah, I already had two.

I just housed some Girl Scout Samoa's. Oh, wow. Girl Scouts really, um. I'm now circulating the Oreo stuff of legends. Chelsea and I almost had a disastrous spill handing off the cookies. It's empty here. Okay. So you got to grab it from this.

part. Chelsea and I both notorious spillers. Yes. So this is a dangerous territory over here. My kid would love these because of the Hulk. That's what they were saying. I still fucked up. Yeah, let me open this up. We're supposed to lick it?

It's got an interior, the color changing one, it has an interior, like a little white dot in the middle and then a grayish blue on the outside. It's kind of like an egg. And it turns blue? I don't know. Oh, yeah, it's turning. And put my famous tongue on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It turned your tongue blue.

It's turning blue. Yeah, it is turning blue. I mean, this sucks. Why does it matter? It's really, really not exciting. No. Is there a flavor to it or no? Is there a different flavor or is it just a great flavor?

You have to crack it open, though, to get this experience. You can't just, like, eat the cookie. Like, the novelty doesn't work if you eat it like a regular cookie. Yeah. It's an Oreo, so an Oreo is good, but the- I don't get it, yeah. On the package, they make it look like you will be able to see the blue on the outside, but you would not be able to lick the,

The cream, our mouths are turning in blue. Is that supposed to be cool? Oh, yeah. Your teeth are like so blue right now. Are they? Your teeth are blue. You look like you can brush your teeth. Oh, yeah, your teeth are very blue.

Are they? Yeah. This is black. This is big time. This is big time long. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So the whole point is just too cool.

So we're like fucking freaks. Yeah. It sucks. It's like a prank. It's like a prank area. What are they? What are this? It looks cool.

It looks cool. It's cool. You rinse my mouth out. I always used to hate snacks. It turned my mouth the different color. I would like avoid stuff on purpose because it used to drive me crazy. You know, I'm going to do this.

I'm going to let you guys a cookie. I'm putting you guys to work. I'm sorry. Here we go. What am I doing? These are the ones we'll share. Yeah, you can just bisect these flavors. There's two of each flavor.

So they just have a lot of each one. I think I got you one of each one. Wow. They're pretty colors. We'll share. Can I just say, I really like how everyone has picked up my habit of saying bisect. Yeah.

I like it. I pick up a lot of things, a lot of phrases from you. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Wait. It's dangerous.

Nick, Nick, I remember from the at midnight writer's room. Yeah. That we once got donuts and I. They are hard to open. They are hard to open. Do you need scissors. Oh,

out. And you pulled me aside and you were like, do not do that. I did get picky about that. Yeah. Yeah. You were like, you said, I was like, well, I wanted to try.

Like, I cut pieces out of the donuts. Because I was like, I want to try a little piece of this one and a little piece of this one. And Nick was like, you need to commit to a donut because if I want to take a donut, I don't want to take 80% of a donut that has a little piece cut out of it. I think there's a fair argument. Fucking office, bitch. No, hold on, hold on. And I got to say, I talked about this in the TED room and everyone was like, that person's insane.

Because who doesn't want to? Then it opens the floodgates to be like, I also want to try a little bit. Yes, because I cut a donut in half. And then you said this. I think I said, I never do it first because I don't want to get it. get scolded. I can't believe you're yelling at people in the office for donut for the fucking donut decency or whatever the fuck.

The only time I've ever lost my cool at it. No, no, no. I think what I, and I've certainly come around on this, but also I think like, I think just taking a little bit of it as opposed to like cutting it into quarters or cutting it into in half. But if you're going to cut it, cut it up so everybody can just have a piece. They smell bad. But I feel like that's all. even more presumptuous to be like you're gonna want a quarter. Is that way, Jimmy wants it? I think

if you're like a mangler, if you're like mangled the donuts, I think that's an issue, but if you're doing a nice little cuts. With a nice? Yeah, nice cut. I think you're fine. I just wanted to throw you out to the best. I don't know if I can bring myself to eat this slight that has stayed with me for a decade. Let me say, I am sorry. You're listening, you're learning. Yeah. You're doing the work. I'm overreacted. No, I think it was good. I, I welcome the feedback. These Thanksgiving Oreos are very pretty.

They look pretty. They smell awful. I noticed Gemmy's interested. Does it smell like turkey? I think maybe that is a why. But I don't know. They maybe smell like dog food. They may be more frosting.

They're already the ratio. They don't need to be covered in another layer. I am curious about the cream corn. I don't want to be the first. What's which one color is the apple pie one? Apple pie. Caramel apple pie is this one. Okay.

we start with, we start with the orange with the brown frosting. Okay. Oh, they smell more when you cut them in two. They like, there's like, there's a little flood of smell that comes out when you cut them. It's not. When they make flavors like this, they want them to be like enjoyable or they're going for a shock factor. No, it's like the, the booger jelly beans.

You know, they're hot. It's just like to get people to, I don't know. Yeah, the smell is overpowering. It smells like a convalescent home. Well, It really does. Will any of these be good, I wonder? I think my guess is no.

My guess is that one will be shockingly good and one that sounds good will actually be disappointing. Oh, you're doing that? Yeah, I'm just... I'm like we're going to get so far away. Yeah, these the smiles... Oh, God, I hope not. Oh, because they're so old?

Because they're old and they smell that. Do you get Listeria from old things? They're not even that old. individually wrapped. They're not that, I mean, they're, for Oreo cookies. The seasons pass, but they're not expired. But also, you don't have to eat anything you don't want to. No, no, no. I will say this. It does come in a nice little tin that you keep.

I'm trying. Like an Oreo tin. This is a nice Oreo tin. To be honest, this might be sweet potato. This is either sweet potato or the caramel apple pot. We're starting with orange. Yeah, sweet potato. With the orange with the gray frosting is sweet potato. So what's orange with white? Oh, well, we have the orange with gray.

Okay, that's what I got. Yeah, okay. Wait, is that, this looks like brown to me. Yeah, I think that gray browns hate. Honestly, I think that's the pumpkin pie. I think that was kind of delicious. Am I the only one? It tastes like sweet, it could be sweet potato to me.

Oh, my God. I think it's yummy. I like that. It's pretty good. It's really sweet. I like that. But it's, I mean, I love autumnal flavors. Oh, that's a hoot.

Which one was that? That one's just a blush. That one is good. Did I eat the caramel apple pie? Maybe that's what we ate. So that's what I thought we were getting, but now it's hard. It's hard to tell what the fuck. Which one is?

I don't know. It's great. I'm circulating some napkins here. Chelsea, are you not eating the rest of yours? So the answer, does the answer can have any of the, the frosting on there, Mitch? That's good. There's a sweet, there's a sweet potato. There's a sweet potato, a pumpkin pie and a caramel apple pie.

Let's just eat the other orange one and try to figure out what that is. Wait, there's six. Wait, I have five left. Yeah, I think there's very confusing. There's one missing. Okay, now we're trying to... When I do the red on red, that's cranberry sauce. We're doing the other orange.

We're doing the other orange. Okay, all right, fine. We'll work our way through the color wheel. It looks like pumpkin pie. So sweet potato and pumpkin pie, because like a sweet potato pie and a pumpkin pie are like similar. Not the same, but... I think the other one was the caramel apple. I think the other one was the apple.

Yeah, this one, I mean... It's pretty good. It's okay. It's not as good as the caramel apple. Is this supposed to be? Bumpkinby? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

So which one's the sweet potato? I don't think we got that. We don't know that one yet, I think. I think the sweet potato is the one that, this reddish one with the brown. Okay, okay. I thought that one was a little more sciencey than the previous one. And it's the same sort of bouquet of flavors,

but that one kind of has a little bit of a potpoury sort of quality to it. Yeah, that one wasn't as. I didn't love it. Let's eat the brown one and get it over with his turkey with stuffing. Unless you, because I don't want that to be the last one. Okay, sure, let's see now. Yeah. This should be a different color way, I should say.

It's 100%. It looks like chocolate on chocolate. Oh, man, mine fell apart. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's so bad. It's disgusting. It's fucking horrible.

Oh, my God. It sucks. That's a worst cookie ever having my fucking life. Why would they do that? What fucking horrible I do? I can't, I think I'm going to throw up. Yeah, that is disgusting. There are so many sweet adjacent flavors with Thanksgiving food, too, that like, works.

Do you need to go to the bathroom? We should eat in this. Spit it out. Everyone needs to shut up. I need a constrain up. I was even lifting it up. It was like, don't get back in next to you.

It's so gross. Go get some water. That is what I think dog food tastes like. Mish did say, Jemmy might be interesting because it smelled kind of like dog food. That was so bad. Drink your coke or something. I've tasted dog food and this is worse.

Oh, God. The smell is putrid. I think the aftertaste is just really like. Yeah, we need a chaser. Oh, my God. I can still taste. That's one of the worst things I've ever eaten in my life. I feel like a lot of my mouth.

I feel like I've seen you guys try. many bizarre snacks. I've never seen any make Mitch almost bar. That is disgusting. That's one of the worst things I've ever eat in my time. I can still taste it.

I can still taste it. I need a chocolate. Mitch chug expired McRib sauce. And it went better than that. That was better. It was way better. It was good.

That's horrible. That was fucking horrible. It tastes like I just threw up. Yeah. Like that post-vomit sort of thing. This is what I think my mouth would taste like after I suck Chewbacca's dick.

That's an insult to You're right, you're right. I'm just trying to think of someone big and mangy. Also, bad news, guys. Chasers aren't working. Yeah, no. I can still taste it. I hate this.

Does anyone want a beverage from the fridge? Yeah. Yeah. What would you like? I'll take a Diet Coke. I don't remember what you have. I don't know. Coked.

There's like flavored waters. I'll take a glass of white vinegar. Do you want a refill of your water or you want a flavor? Oh, yeah, just off a refo of a shot of whiskey. Water's not going to do it. Just chasing it with a regular good tasting Oreo help. No. No, it does.

No, it does. It doesn't help. We tried the chocolate ganache as the chaser, and it doesn't really... I've added three cookies and it's not working. That's one of the worst things we've ever eaten on the show. That's so bad. We got to wait because I'm going to yell at Amelia like I yelled at Chelsea about the donuts. It's insane.

This is from a fan. This is even from Amelia. No, I mean like the this place. Oh, then I'm going to yell at that fan. Hey, fuck you. They said they were abominations. Oh, my God. They did.

They said these abominations. This is caramel apple pie. That's so. disgusting. All right, so what's another bad one? I'm actually shocked by how bad. I was on such a high with that first one. I know. Have you done the creamed corn? Oh, you should let's get cream corn over with? Is that yellow? I assume? Yeah, that's the yellow. Okay. I'll let you have that big piece. I mean, I don't like that. It's so generous. But that's like leagues better. I don't like that either. That's really bad. That's bad too, but it's not as bad. Thank you.

I can swallow that. Barely. I can. Yeah. It tastes like, oh. Thank you. Thank you. It tastes like Biden's friend, cornpop. Maybe that's what it is. It's probably what the flavor is. I always feel like corn flavor just tastes kind of buttery. Yeah. Which I love corn.

I don't want the most sweet things. I do like corn. I don't think it works in this context. I'll say this. It's very accurate that one. I'm like, it's sciencey, but it's accurate. Absolutely evokes it. All right, what do we have?

You're thinking about going down on a big mangy dude? Do you choose Chewbacca? I don't know. After I said, I go down to you when the flight was going down, you choose Chewbacca instead of me? You shouldn't insult the taste of the dick. Oh, yeah. No, I guess that's good. You want this to be about you?

No, no, my mouth were all blue. No one talked about going down on a navvi from Avicomar and a smurf. Talk about having eaten out Nateri. We didn't do it. Nateri? Niteri. Oh, you think Varong? He's got a tattoo of Varang.

I do have a tattoo of Varang. Yeah, I do have a tattoo of Varang on my shoulder. He also has a third tattoo. Which, yeah. I'm collecting him. It's a nice midlife crisis project. Oh, fun. I was thinking about getting a midlife crisis tattoo.

I love it. I'm so happy. Yeah, I got this tiger and I'm tiger now. Oh, yeah. And then they just started getting more, um, uh, it just started getting more. Is that like a, a wiger tiger thing? Yeah. Okay.

How long ago did you get that one? This one, these were all within the past year. Wow. Wow. Oh, very, very recent, yeah. Wow. This, that turkey Oreo made me lose interest in food maybe. Yeah, I know.

Like, this podcast might be done. Yeah. I think it might be over. That was really... It's so bad. I will also say that followed up with the corn one. A bad one to combo. We have cranberry sauce left and...

Pumpkin pie. And sweet potato. We should maybe eat the sweet potato one first. I'll eat the sweet potato now. First? Instead of the cranberry? Don't we want to go out on a sweet potato? Maybe.

I don't know. Let's do the cranberry. Sorry. I didn't mean a... I just like cranberry might be like just normal... Kind of normal. That's not bad. Okay, I'm trying to.

Yeah. A little mediciney, but it's not bad That's not for me. Why do I put the whole thing in my mouth? That's what I did with the turkey one. It's a huge mistake. I don't like that one. That one's bad too.

Pretty bad. Oh, what was accidentally wet, restrained eating in a sweet potato, which I like. I feel like, actually, the cranberry grew up slightly because it was so flavorful. That first bite was just kind of like,

and then it got a really bright flavor. At the end, it becomes like a, like eating like nerds. It tastes like a, Or something. At the end of it, it's so, yes, it tastes like a jolly rancher, like a cranberry jolly rancher. Like a cranberry jolly rancher. I don't want that.

I kind of don't hate that. With your Oreo? Yeah, not with an Oreo. I don't know. I would say that one might be my favorite of all of them. It's the weirdest. What? Comparatively to what I would think an Oreo would taste.

This is very much a gimmick, very much like a challenge snack is what these turned out to be. Yeah. But two of them were good or one of them was good. We unfortunately started with the best ones and then worked our way down the toilet. I'm doing sweet potato. I'm taking half of it. I already bitten the sweet potato and I don't mind it.

Okay. That was not good either. It's strange. I will say this one. Doesn't taste like a sweet potato. Finally overrode the after taste of the turkey. This might be the caramel apple one. Yeah.

Well, any can you can pass me that turkey? I think it's. It doesn't taste like sweet potato to me. It's strange. That's caramel apple. The first one we had was sweet potato. Because it was more cinnamon kind of flavor. That is caramel apple.

And I kind of like that one. So here's part of the issue. You don't like that one? I'm holding up the answer key to camera. So we really liked the sweet potato one. Yeah, the sweet potato was the best one. We see that they're each a different color way and then they've got just kind of this This.

The colors are off in the key, by the way. This is the thing I was going to say, Mitch. They're a different color way and they're all kind of peter north with the various frostings on top which just helped to make you. meant to help you indicate which ones are which, they don't look like this. It doesn't match up the key. Yeah.

Like the colors of the, especially of the cookies don't line up. And also, the cranberry sauce cookie and the caramel apple pie cookie were the exact same fucking hue. Like, they're acting like there are two

different oranges and two different reds. They're the same. They're all the fucking same. I'm pissed off. Put them up against the fucking wall. Kyle and Haley, the people send it in. No.

Not them. No. We love you. Thank you very much. That was a very nice gift. Yeah, it was disgusting. Thank you both. It was fucking gross.

But we do appreciate it. We do appreciate it. Yeah. Wow. I'm scarred. I don't even eat turkey right now. I'm a vegetarian and I ate a turkey cookie. Yeah, we're sorry.

I'm going to have a chocolate ganon. I just need to get the food. I've had like five of those. Yeah, yeah. Still not doing a while. We started with the best one. We started the best thing and then everything else sucked. Oh, well.

It was so promising at the beginning. It's a big time snack. I know. This is a big time snack. You were saying that you were saying this is the whole episode? Yeah. It was so promising at the beginning. Mitch, does anyone disagree?

I say chocolate canosh is a snack and everything else is a whack except maybe the sweet potato. Yeah, agree. I think that's a consensus. All right, just like your restaurant, you buy your feedback. Let's help with the feedback. And we have a voicemail today. Let's take a listen. Hi there, boys.

This is Johnny from Decatur, Illinois, Soy City. My wife and I have this memory of this honeynut Cheerios commercial where like a fake blues man sings. It's a honey. of an old. But we can't find any evidence that this ever existed. My question is, have you ever experienced a form of fast food Mandela effect where you swear you remember something, but you can't find any proof that it was real? You know, Mitch, we had a similar thing.

So trying to uncover a commercial mystery last week with our guest, Vanessa Chester. Yes. And trying to find an old Barbie commercial that she was in as a kid. Hopefully that's been on earth. So maybe we can employ the same sort of detective work from, I mean, I remember the song. There's a honey, like, it's a honey. You remember the song?

Honey Nut Cheerios. Yeah, there was a song. Oh, I remember that song. Yes, but I don't know if it was the, I don't know if the way he sang it was, or was the same guy. I don't know. I don't know if it was a very blues type singer like he was saying. It sounds like he's misremembered some key details, but I'm not sure.

But then he was, who was also saying his wife, like, has the same memory. So I wonder. Maybe it was like a regional commercial? Oh, possible, yeah. Could be a regional commercial. Anyway, the question is. The moon man's out there. It was asking about a Mandela effect.

Yeah. Like any, yeah, food Mandela effect. A fast food Mandela effect or a food mandela effect. Oh, boy, that's a little tough to pull off the dome. I'm trying to think of anything that happened to me like that. I mean, I certainly, but this was true. They changed the cookie crisp mascot from a cop and robber and a dog to a fucking wolf. And it's so boring.

But then I have times where I was like, wait, was it ever a, like, I do think sometimes I have Mandela affected myself, but it's true. When did they change that? A few years ago. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because cops aren't so popular anymore. Cops in a event, yeah.

No, but I think it was a criminal. But when maybe a cop was chasing him, I don't fucking know. I don't remember. Maybe I'm making all this up. We almost changed the dough boys logos to have me and Nick in cop uniforms, and we figure that's probably not great to have to do that. I feel like it. Yeah.

Yeah, I think the cops and robbers, I mean, I'm rooting. I was always rooting for the robber, though, to get it anyways. You know what I mean? I'm going to get the cookie. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. That's fun.

Yeah. There's a lot of robbers in food imagery, you know? It's the hamburger. It's a cookie crisp. I mean, even the tricks rabbit. We've really come up as a country because, like, I'm all for the hamburger, too. Steal those birds. Yeah.

The cookie monster is adjacent. Yes. I don't know that he's stealing, but he's taking what people get rid of. Yeah, yeah. The Lucky Charms Lepricon, he's trying to take him. Or no, no, the kids are stealing from him. Yeah, he's trying to protect his. He's not a stash.

I just want to go on the line and say, Cookie monsters is not a thief. But I was saying he's taking what people are giving. Yes. I'd say, my other, besides my two favorite Oscars, Oscar, I say Oscar the Grouch is like the bad boy of Sesame Street, right? He's kind of the one who's like a. I guess so, yeah. Is he like, he's cranky?

I'm trying to think of as far as. Like a fuck boy? Well, I mean, we could discuss that too, but I'm thinking of almost. I almost spilled. It's fine. I was trying to think of like who is like the bad, like who is the one who's like closest to bad? Like because Cookie Monsters eats cookies.

But I'm like who is like the bad the baddest of the bad on Sesame Street? It's going to be the other Oscar. Snuffle up against, hit a guy with his car and kept driving. It's like Matthew Broderick. I got hit and they didn't stop. You got hit.

I got hit my first year in L.A. As a pedestrian. Yeah. As a pedestrian, yeah. Were you okay? I was fine. You get to realize like what you would do

in an emergency and I was kind of humiliated because I got knocked to the ground and then just started going like I was fine but I just started wail screaming as if I had been stabbed.

Of course. But I'm like, oh, now I know like if something goes wrong in my life I'm not going to be like hey let's just like take a deep breath. I'm just going to start going

that's good to know about myself. I also like the term whale screaming is a very funny way to respond to something. Too bad it wasn't the whale. He could have, the whale himself

would have been able to levitate. Float to safety. Have you seen the Brendan Fraser film? Have you guys seen the whale? I've never seen it. No, but I know the ending. It's not a very good movie. He floats.

Yeah. The ending is that he floats. He eats a meatball subs. He jacks off a bunch and then he floats to heaven, basically. Huh. And I can't get a movie made. I can't think of anything specific. I wouldn't think of any.

There's some common, like, famous men food ones. Do you want some of those? Yeah, please. Like, some people widely remember fruit loops having, being spelled fruit like fruit, but it actually has two O's in fruit, like fruit loops. That is a good one. I've heard someone say that before. Yeah, the spelling of Chick-fil-A is a common one.

We did a segment on this before, the Mandola effect. Back with Cordia O'Darty back like a couple years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I forgot about that. No, what you remember about? She made the segment. I made the segment a couple years ago.

Oh, shit. I'm sure it was great. It was. It wasn't great. My segments suck. No, that's not true, Amelia. You brought us these Oreos that turned our tongues blue. Mitch brought the shitty Oreos.

Yeah. I didn't bring them. They were sent to us. Actually, you brought them and gave them to me, and then I brought them back. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, so you've been hit by a car. Have you ever been hit by a car or hit someone with your car? No.

I've never hit a person. I've gotten in vehicle accidents. but nothing major. I feel like I'd fuck up a car pretty bad. It's probably like hitting a moose if you hit me. Oh, yeah. You'd do some damage. I went car shopping with my mom and sister this past week while they were in town.

And I went to a few different, I don't want to even say. I got, I went to a few different. You hopped around. I shopped around. We went to Toyota dealership. We went to a Nissan dealership. We went to a Lexus dealership and looked at stuff. And I did go to a BMW dealership.

Relax. I know you say silver steels. I've only owned two cars. entire line. You've had a Nissan Ultima for 15 years. Yes. I noticed your Nissan Ultima, I thought, oh, how modest and sweet. But now I know you're an asshole just like everyone else. That's going to get the nicest car out there. I have a, yes, my bike rack that's on the back of my Nissan Ultima that I've owned for 15 years now.

But I looked around. You got to shop around. It's been 15 years since you bought a car. You're supposed to just go buy the exact same car? No, you got to go see what's out there. Yeah, I looked at a nice car. I went to Glendale and I looked at all there. I went to the, the entire row of all the dealerships there, and we hit up a bunch of them. Mitch, I think you should get a very expensive car

because technically you're an employee of headgum, and that seems to be what they drive. That is, there's like a poster of different Porsches in the bathroom. You could just take some notes and get one of those. I can't wait to bring in my X-5 and have them scoff at it. Get a G-wagon. Yeah, get a G-wagon. I got to say, I used to have an outy,

and I really like them. They're great cars. I've heard people are telling me some good that are giving me some good tips Jesse Ferrar was telling me Mazda's are a nice car too I was looking at some of Mazda Do you have a Mazda?

I love my Mazda I highly recommend a Mazda I had a Mazda protege That's one of my first cars So I've only had my entire In my 43 years I've only had two cars my entire My entire life

Both Nissan Ultimus So I'm looking around I'm gonna see what happens Yeah Anyway Johnny from Decatur Illinois Soy City We don't have an answer for you because the question is very hard.

I remember Burger Buny's from Burger King? Do you remember those? And I just, like, kind of forget them. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if they existed or not. Maybe is more of what it is, but. I will give a call to action, a call to adventure to everyone out there. If you can locate this fake blues man's song or have a memory of it, let us know,

and we'll see what the consensus is. And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedbag at BirdFuck.com or leave us a voicemail to 830-0. That's 830-463-844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink, our associate producer. Amelia Marino, a video editor, Mike Dorfman. Well, I have a question for you. Yeah. After the show, are you going to yell at me because I cut the Oreos into

because it doesn't fucking follow your fucking donut etiquette, you piece of shit? Yeah, we're going to have a little talk. I can't believe he yelled at you in the office of donuts. He didn't really. It was just he was such a mild-mannered guy. And then he really was doing me a song because it was my first writer's room. And he pulled me aside. And he's like, don't ever do that again. It's scarred shelly because she's run it out. I use the language, don't ever do that again.

And you went like this. It feels very harsh for me, baby. One finger across the throat. You want to work in this town again? I'd think twice. The next night you get will be in your back. No, no, I think you were like, hey, I think it's not like the coolest thing in a writer's room. To just do it.

No, you're looking sound more psychotic. Cut it. You know. And I was like, oh, thank you. Almost like that's like wrote. Like everyone knows this. Like, hey, word to the wise.

Don't cut up the dough. Yeah, no one. I don't know if people agree with you. It's my own personal rule, apparently. But also, uh, yeah, whatever. I'm sorry. Oh.

You don't need to be sorry. I'm sorry for airing it because I love you so much. And I would rather know. Like knowing things. How often was he yelling at women in the office? A normal thing? I wouldn't say This voice wasn't raised

He was just explaining what we were doing Was wrong and why Especially with food preparation That was like the Oh interesting You should know this That job I took seriously You're a woman, you should know about food preparation

Merchantkinshipgoidscom slash doughboys And the doughboys double our weekly bonus episode Plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog is over at patreon.com slash doughboys Lenna Crivello Chelsea Davison

Podstruck is the podcast Ted is the TV show and Chelsea have a movie coming out. I do. In May on Roku, a Roku original called Broad Trip, starring Sophia Bush. Wow, how about that? It's a mother-daughter road trip comedy, so you can watch it with your mom. It's real tame. It's feel good for the whole family.

I love it. Please plug away. I've did an episode of Podstruck that I mentioned. Also, you made a comedy movie. How cool is that? It's nice to make an original movie that is comedy or at least, you know, comedy-ish. Again, it's more of a heartwarming, you know.

Josie, don't downplay this. No, I mean, I'm not. I just want to make sure the listeners and the viewers have the right expectations. If they're going in being like, this is going to be like, you know, it's not a raunchy. It's a good mom movie. Also, by the way, it's Doe Boys listeners. They don't expect laughs very often. I'm just saying it's more meant to, it's a feel-good road trip.

I can't wait. It's sweet. What was the title one more time? Broad trip. Broad trip. Well, hopefully it's funny too. Hopefully. We'll see.

I can't wait to watch Broad Trip and there's a scene where the asshole boyfriend scolds a woman. Cutting your dough. Also, Chelsea wrote two of the episodes in our upcoming season of Ted that are both very funny. Wow. Oh, awesome. One in particular. I'm very excited. We bonded over a joke from one of my episodes I pitched to the room and the men in the room didn't, they were like, does anyone know the movie?

It was a rom-com joke. And Elena jumped in and was like, yes, of course. And we just rift for a while and then afterwards, Elena proposed. Yeah, she'd propose. She sent me a voice note and said, we should start a rom-com podcast and we did. And that's how it all started.

Wow, that's the origin. That's great. Also, what the hell's wrong with everybody not knowing while you were sleeping? What the hell is going on there? I know, right? Thank you. And Mitch, we have to have you on. I would love to come on.

What movie would you do? What movie would you want to do? Would you want it to be like a food movie to tie into doughboys? I love that idea. I love that idea. Oh, sure. I've never seen chef. We've fun to watch it.

No, yeah. Where Jean Fabro has a love triangle with Sophia Vergara and Charlotte Johansson. Yeah. So it sounds like it's based in reality. A movie he directed. Yeah, I would love to come on. We'll find the right one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm thinking of good rom-coms I've loved over the year. I just watched, well, I mean, Housemade, it's not a rom-com. Oh, no. It's very funny, anyways. It's funny. I have never seen it. Yeah. Well, it's a new.

Don't watch it with your mom is my advice, because that's what I did. Podstruck, I can listen wherever you listen to podcast, and Ted, season two is March 5th on Peacock. Anything else you'd like to plug? Nope. No. That's it. Listen to our podcast. Yeah, listen, check it out.

Listen to the podcast. We kept you here for so long. I know, I know. Thanks for doing this marathon session. Oh, no. It's been the blast, guys. Yeah, thank you so much for having us. We're doing three hour episodes in the fuck in 2026.

What the fuck is going on? Do you edit it way down? Like, is this going to be an hour and a half? No. No. We're turning into fucking blank check. Oh, my God. How do we do this to ourselves?

We got blank checked. We'll take out all the problematic stuff I said. So it would actually be like 20 minutes. Yeah, it's so much fun. Yeah. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Tiger Weiger.

Happy eating. See ya. That was a hate gum podcast.