Doughboys - In-N-Out Burger 2 with ???

Episode Date: February 23, 2017

Mitch completes his six week run of booking guests by surprising Wiger with the final member of the Spoonister Six. In-N-Out Burger is again on the menu as the ‘boys decide whether it will remain in the hallowed halls of the Platinum Plate Club. Plus, an all-dressed Snack or Wack.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3.16 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14.6 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come into him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Revelation 3.20 These are a few of the Bible verses covertly inserted

onto the undersides of the food and drink containers of California's most beloved burger chain, though the prominent palm trees and the packaging are far more at home on the increasingly secular left coast. But the restaurant's founders and owners, the Snyder family, are deeply religious, and in the 1980s, 30-plus years after the first location opened in the Los Angeles suburb of Baldwin Park, they began including the verses as a subtle, unobtrusive declaration of faith. The company has been a wild success story, first across Southern and then Northern California,

and now in the neighboring states of Arizona, Nevada, and Utah, that faith has no doubt been tested through tragedy. Patriarch Harry Snyder died of lung cancer in 1976, son Rich died in a plane crash in 1993, and another son, Guy, died of a painkiller overdose in 1999. The family legacy continues with current owner Lindsay Snyder, the daughter of Guy, who is the world's youngest female billionaire. These scholars have noted the bipolar personality of the Christian God, a benevolent caretaker after the coming of Christ, but a brutal tyrant before the Messiah's arrival.

For a taste of the wrathful God of the Old Testament, one must turn to the fries container, which cites Proverbs 24-16. For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. This week on Doe Boys, we return to In-N-Out Burger. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're a production of Feral Audio.com. I'm Nick Weiger.

This week's roast is courtesy of At Brian J. Roan. Please welcome my co-host, Cat Lady Sasquatch, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm all right with that. Yeah, that one's not bad. Yeah, that's nice. It's kind of nice. Yeah, I think it's kind of nice. Okay.

Well, thank Brian J. Roan for that one. Sasquatch is cool. Sasquatch is pretty cool. Yeah. Do you have any? I mean, what monster would you be? I'm a proud Sasquatch. What monster would you be?

What's like a sniveling? I guess like an Igor, but Igor is not really a monster. He's also facilitating someone else. I feel like I'd be a... You're the Igor to my Frankenstein, Frankenstein's monster, just what all the people will get. So there isn't a Dr. Frankenstein in this equation, it's just Igor and Frankenstein? It kind of just came together. All right.

Do you think that there's a Dr. Frankenstein in our relationship? I guess Susser is Dr. Frankenstein. Yeah. I don't know, though. Yeah, not really. Yeah, he could be a different monster. He's like Swamp Man or something like that. How you doing, Nick?

I'm okay. Yeah. That seems like part... Oh, you're not working this week. You got a week off. I got a week off. Got a rare week off. Uh-huh.

Taking a little bit of R&R. That's a small amount of... It's that adult R&R where I'm like doing errands and such. You know? Like I've got to take care of it. I've got to go to the dentist. I've got to go to the physical therapist. I've got to get my taxes done.

All that sort of bullshit. I've told you that I get a lot of shit for not doing anything, which is not entirely true at all, actually. That's annoying. And it stems from you, and I hate you. But I've had so much of that stuff where I'm just like, oh, I got so much stuff to do that I haven't done. Right.

And then when it comes to it, I just don't want to... Then I just sit... I mean, I am lazy also. Yeah. But then when it comes time to doing that stuff, you just don't want to do it. But I got to do some... I got to get some of that busy work done in the next week. It's...

I don't even want to say this. I hate auditioning, as you know, and I've had a couple auditions last week, and that, for me, like a normal man, who's a normal actor man, can just go in and audition. But for me, I have nerves, as you know. It's very stressful. It's a stressful situation for anyone, but it affects you particularly. It affects me particularly. Yeah.

To Spoon Nation, we got a drop. It's a spicy one. I like spicy things. Really spicy things. Like, so spicy, most people can't eat it, but I can eat it, and I think that's kind of like the future of snacks. How do you... I don't like fries?

Because I have different tastes in fries than you. Oh my God. That's insane. This is the thing I got you the most. He's got a gun! Click in the mouse, and pop is in the house. Oh my God. That's insane.

This is the thing I got you the most. He's got a gun! Click in the mouse, and pop is in the house. I'll be here all week. No, we're here. Remember Jared from Subway? So it was a clip from Love, and then I think it turned into some sort of mass shooting. Yeah.

Uh... Going off of my fries rant, what you think of the people that are going to that well a little too much with the drops? I'm hearing that reference a little too often. Hold the fuck up. You do a roast of me every week. Right. I mentioned the fries a few times in the drops, and you're going, I think they've done that

too many times. I don't mind it. Like, keep using it. You lost your mind that day. Yeah, I don't mind people bringing that moment up when I vindicated myself for this false accusation. I still never see you eat a fries fry. I love fries.

And so I don't mind people referencing, and I'm just saying it's been done a few different times. Let's mix it up. No. I say keep them coming. I like them. Uh... That's a courtesy of Max Cross.

Thanks, Max. That was good. Good for Max. A lot of fun. We're having fun up top. Are you having fun with the show? We're having a great time. If you don't like the show, you should end the show.

No, I like the show. This is fun to do. I have a good time. I genuinely enjoy our time in the studio. It sometimes becomes a little bit of a drag, like any sort of ongoing obligation. It reaches a point where you're just sort of like, all right, we're going to do this again back to the grind. But I think on balance, it's a pretty fun activity.

I think you're going to get mad at me. Should I go for it? No, go for it. I think that you have to worry less about the planning of it because I think that that is very much a thing that you like to do, which I get. I don't like to do it. You do like to do it, right? Kind of.

I like to have a plan. I don't enjoy planning. I do like to have a plan, but I think that in the weeks to come after, look, I think that we were both stressed because we have this tournament, and this is actually, we'll talk about this tournament a little bit today. But I think that we were both stressed because the last week we were just talking about scheduling and planning out this tournament, which is, it is hard to plan. It's a lot because it involves just going to more restaurants, basically twice the

number of restaurants that we'd normally go to in a regular month. More than that. More than that. Because we have to, each week there are two, and so that just keeps multiplying, and then we've got some mini-sodes thrown in, or we'll have some mini-sodes thrown in, spoiler alert. So yeah, it's like... Well, we're going to tell them in a few minutes, anyways. I guess.

But I mean, it's more than... This podcast is already more work than most podcasts. I'd say most podcasts are show up somewhere and just talk about a topic, and this one, you have to go somewhere else first and eat a meal and then come here afterwards. It's like an already an extra step, and then we're adding an extra step on top of that. It's just added stress, added complication for what should be, or what ideally is a more casual past time. For sure.

And for me, I think going forward, this is... I mean, because I think that in the last few weeks, I feel like you've been frustrated. But maybe you even weren't. You might not have been. Are you getting this through our interaction on the podcast or through our interaction off podcast? I think all around. Okay.

You think I've been extra frustrated? There was a few weeks ago where I was... This is a secret. I was ready to quit the podcast. I told Evan Susser, I'm done with the podcast. It doesn't seem like... It seems like we're not having fun right now. And it was during the Spoonerster 6, and I felt like it was my job to kind of do the

Spoonerster 6, and I felt like you were very nervous about me doing my job, which maybe we should introduce our guest first, huh? Well, let's say... I mean, we have a little bit more business to get to, but I guess we could get to our guest. Yes, let's do it. Here's what I was gonna say on that topic real quick. My stress came from, like, okay, we need to schedule when we're going to do this.

And it was coming up until... And I know whatever you do have stuff, you legitimately have stuff to do, but I do have a steady job. I get your steady job. And my hours are not easy. Like I have, like, I work a good amount, and then I have to go to this podcast, and then so I would be finding out, like, the day before, the night before, we were going to record... That we were even going to record, period.

And then on top of that, what the restaurant is, and who the guest is, like, there's normally some prep that I like to do in advance of this podcast, even if it's as simple as writing a little intro. You have to write your intro. And I'm gonna... I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Just to defend myself a little bit.

Yes. And then there's a change where you had to go work to work later in the week, got you a little bit more stressed about that. That did stress me out a little bit. Okay. All right. That's what I thought. Well, so let's introduce our guest, because then I'll explain some stuff with my spoon

or turstix. But first, well, my guest, this guy has a... Let me... He has a special spot in my heart. Can I... Can I take this up a little bit too? Yeah, yeah. No, please say what you're gonna guess.

I was just gonna say he has a special spot in my heart. I've always wanted to get him on the show. Yeah. I will say this, that if you're listening to this podcast, you've seen that it's, you know, however we're gonna say, we're gonna say like mystery guest or question mark, question mark, question mark, something like this. You may be wondering who's going to be sitting here. Because of the way the podcast is produced, Mitch wanted to keep it a secret up until

we record, but had to tell me just a little bit just because of, you know, booking and everything and scheduling and all that. And when Mitch told me the final member of the spoon or turstix, I was shocked. And it took me a second to process it, but he's here with us in the studio. And he, I will say, because like every member of the spoon or turstix, he is a man. Somehow in the six guests, Mitch's booked, he's fit in seven men. I knew this was coming, so I have responses to everything. That's fine.

Let me play this little jingle and then we'll start talking with this guy. One last time, a freak like me needs company live on David Letterman from Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark. Mitch, introduce our guest. Our guest, this guy's got a special spot in my heart. Hey, I love him and I know a lot of listeners don't love him, but this guy, he's a good guy and my little surprise is that the final member of spoon or turstix is you, Nick. It's me.

You were the final member of spoon or turstix. Now, Mitch, how much of this was you just not wanting to book another guest and trying to find a way to justify this sort of cop out anticlimactic ending? There's going to be a lot of things here that, look, I easily could have had, I easily could have had someone come on today, but we have, we legit have a lot to talk about. We do. It just didn't feel, so my spoon or turstix original plan was bug main and then I wanted to get kind of all celebrities that had never been on the show before to embarrass you to

show that I could do a much better job of booking than you. Although I stand by, we had some great guests, some really, really, all of them were great guests, all the spoon or turstix. It was tough, Ray Liotta said no. My plan for today, I was going to have a Harley Quinn Joker theme and I was going to have Armin and Gillian Jacobs on. Oh, that's fun, both from Netflix's Love? Yes, in another period for Armin and Gillian's in every movie, but that didn't work out.

And so I was trying to- Harley Quinn and Joker? Yeah. Like, they're like- Armin's the, well, no, they don't really date or anything. I don't like that, but I was saying that Armin's kind of like the Joker. Oh, but you're mixing DC and Marvel, that's what's confusing me. Oh, well, who gives a shit?

I don't, no, I don't really care, but I was just like, why are you referencing Harley Quinn and Joker? And there's like, oh yeah, that's right, it's a comic book thing. And there's like, oh, that's right, because the Sinister Six is from Spider-Man. Yes. Yes, I get it. Yeah, it was just a comic book reference to be a part of the, I mean, didn't we already break the Marvel code earlier when we were naming some of those or not?

Yeah, I think we've got, well, we extended outside of the Spider-Man universe for sure. That was your holdup? No, I was just confused as to why- You're a sick person. I was confused as to why you said Harley Quinn and the Joker. I was like, what does that have to do with anything? And then I put it together. The Sinister Six.

Yeah, right. And then there were other people, but then I just, I felt weird on this day before we were, before we start our munch madness to kind of have a guest come in here. Right. I got to get Besser in here. And also, like you were saying, I was trying to book a lady guest, and she was as close as I got in the bunch, and that was not intentional, but, you know, what could I do? And I thought today would just be a good day to talk things out.

We got a lot of things to talk about. We got the tournament, a couple other things that we got to talk about. We've got a bunch of business up top. We got business. So like, you know, instead of having a, we could add a captive guest sitting there while we drone on for the first 20 minutes at the top of the show, the part everyone fast forwards through. Well, guess what?

It's a fast forward episode, because that's all it is today. Crank it up to 2X speed, everyone. Blaze through this one so you can delete it from your iPhone. So the couple, I just want to say the couple of scheduling issues you had, and I get it. I don't have a day job. Jesus, cry me a fucking river. I will in a few weeks, for God's sakes. Wait, what's starting in a few weeks?

I'm starting at, I'm starting at love in a few weeks. Oh, right. And they're back for season two. Yeah. I mean, it's maybe not Monday through Friday. Right. But that's a regular gig. Yeah.

Hey, it's been hard for me too, man. But also, here's what I think in the future going forward, because I get like a sit-down restaurant for sure, we need to have it planned out. But I have said from the start that for us to continue this podcast, like you said, that there's a lot of planning, there's more to do with this podcast than just a regular podcast. Right. I think that we should take it as it comes, you know, unless it's actually a restaurant

where we want to sit down and do, and have a meal, which I get. But I don't even think we have to do that together, which I like doing with you. Right. We don't do it every week anyway. We don't do it every week. I'd say we probably do it less than we, we do it less than we do apart than we do, we do it more apart than we do together, Jesus Christ. But I think that we should just take it as a, because worst case scenario, we get a guest

a couple days before, and I'll get Koalik to come back and join us, and I'll give up a call to my old friend, Ferg, or ... We'd love to have Koalik or Dave Ferguson from the birthday boys back in, or we'd of course love that. My issue was ... I'm not also saying that they're easy. I'm just saying like, my friends can come and help us out. It's easier to ask someone who's, you're not referencing their availability, someone you

know as a friend, it's easier to send them a text versus someone you have to say an email or someone you may not know as well. Exactly. Yeah, I get that. I'm just saying, my whole concern is just on the timeframe. I feel like we just need a drop dead time for when we book somebody that's closer, that's further away from when we're going to record. Yes.

So like, okay, we're going to record on Tuesday. Let's have a guest on by Sunday at the latest. Is that crazy? Here's the issue to me. Because now people are going to be like, Mitch is being immature, he's not doing a good job booking. I've thought about this podcast way too fucking much the past three fucking weeks, four weeks, whatever, six weeks I guess now with Spoonister Six.

I've thought about this podcast so much and planned a ton of shit and have done a ton of stuff and I think that that's not fair. I get it. I think that you are overly, I think you, and I get it. You have a day job and it was, and it's hard to go and eat, but I don't think any guest we had was literally the day before. No, I think, but I think there was a lot of uncertainty leading up to it. Yes, but I, yes, yes, for sure.

But here's the thing, in the future- Also, I'm not convinced on that. I'd have to go back and check this timestamp for a bunch of tech specialists. Sure, go ahead. God damn it. I'm not going to do that now. I think that when it comes to this podcast, the future of the podcast, look, we're going to start recording at my house.

Yeah, that's going to be a little bit of a shift. The cat ranch, what's another, not a cat ranch. What are you thinking of? The cat villa. Villa? What? Marin has the cat ranch. I have two cats at my house.

Oh, okay. God, I don't listen to Marin. Can you follow me on any journey? No, villa, I just didn't get what you were referencing. Oh, well, I was referencing the cat ranch from Marin. Okay. God, you're the most awkward guest of all? No, I'm just confused.

I was confused by what you were driving at. Yeah, cat, what's analogous to cat ranch? I don't know, cat farmhouse, cat coop? Cat coop. Yeah, the cat coop. We're going to do it at the cat coop. We're going to start recording at the cat coop, which will be nice. Yeah, that'll be a nice show.

I mean, that's a little bit of, he needs your drive for you. It certainly needs your drive for me. Oh, yeah, that drive that is zero, just zero miles. I guess that's an easier drive. You're right. I put that in an awkward term. I am the most awkward guest. But that for you makes things easier, correct?

Yeah, definitely makes things easier. I like this idea. I like the idea of just recording in Casa de Mitch. We have the food we can just like eat right there and go right into it, as we sometimes will just eat at your apartment ahead of the events of the show and then come over, drive over here. We can skip a step. And that's very, and that's, and that should take a lot of that out of it.

I mean, also, to give me more credit, because I like credit, we usually were a couple of weeks ahead. All during the Spoonerster Six, it was new episodes every week. Right. We couldn't, we didn't bank any. Yeah. So we usually are, we're a step or two ahead. This episode we're recording on Tuesday, we'll be out on Thursday.

So we're just like, and the episode we did last week, we recorded on Wednesday before Thursday release. So it was just like right, you know, I mean, there's a plus side to that. I'm not saying it's your fault. Yes. That one wasn't your fault. There's a, there's a plus side to that, which is the immediacy of it. But just from a scheduling standpoint with us, other stuff to do, it makes things a little

bit more difficult. So it's nice to have a little bit of a backlog. And I just want to say that I was trying to get some special guests in here. So, you know, like, I know it annoyed you, but I was trying to get some special guests. And I got a little bit more special. But I was trying to get some guests that, that would say no, and they did. I was like, you know, the whole thing about this is that, because you were complaining about the way the show was booked.

And so I was like, no, my complain is still, is still what you are right now. No, but I was saying like, like, you can book the show for a little bit. I like, go ahead and book the show. And that seemed to make you more stressed. And that was the point apparently where you're, you're thinking of leaving the podcast entirely. I mean, I thought we both talked about quitting the podcast a number of times in the past. But this is like the breaking point for you is when you have to actually schedule it. There, there, there, there, there are a couple of reasons why I was going to leave for real.

One it was because, yes, you getting more, you getting more stressed and upset. I was like, I was like, oh man, I'm in charges and now I'm still like, he's getting more angry than when he used, he seems more angry than when he usually books the guests. That to me was, was, was, was frustrating because, because, because I get it and I get that you have a working, you have a 95 job or whatever, or even sometimes seven to six. You know what I mean? Right. It's a, it's a long job.

The entertainment industry is awful. I guess it's good for you. You have, as a working man, it's good, right? It's nice to be working, but you hate your life. In general. Yeah. You want to be like a farmer. What?

Do you think I want to be like a farmer? Is that because I'm playing Stardew Valley or you manage a ranch? I mean, yes, kind of. I do enjoy that more than my real life. I think that you would have enjoyment just hanging out with animals on a farm all day, honestly. Yeah. I think I could get used to that.

Yeah. I think that would be nice. Like a shepherd. I think it'd be an okay shepherd. Shepherds just walk around with like sheep. Yeah. I think they, they lead like a, there's like a herding dog, right? And the herding dog herds the sheep and then the, the shepherd's kind of overseeing all

that. And then you just eat grass. Is that basically what it is? Well, so the shepherds don't eat grass. No, I don't think the shepherds eat fucking grass. The sheep do. And the shepherd, yeah, the shepherd's oversee them. I think there are some kind of gnarly things you have to do as a shepherd, but in general,

it seems like a pretty tranquil life. So my issues were that you were getting more, you know, you were getting more annoyed when I was trying to make this be like, it's on me, don't worry about it, and we can just eat before we go or whatever. I get the restaurant side of it that you have to have had heads up. I get that you have to write stuff. I've known this forever. Yeah.

I know that that is a sticking point with you always. I was just trying to get some special guests in there. That's all besides the point. I just eating the food. I'm trying to get healthy. Yeah, the food, the food, and especially this munch madness is is intense. It's it's it's already intense. It really is because we're we're we're basically going to start recording it today, but it's

already intense. It's a lot. It's a lot of stuff. It's excessive and and and I'm going to my trainer three days a week. I'm trying to be healthy and the podcast just was, you know, it's taken taken a lot out of me and it didn't seem like you were having much fun. I want you to have fun. Right.

I can't tell. I mean, you're also a guy who could sit silently on a roller coaster and get off and say that it was the best time of your life. I can't tell with you. Yeah. So so I don't know. I don't know where your head is at. I have.

I feel like I generally have fun doing the show, but there are times when it feels like a chore and there are definitely times when I'm annoyed. We have we have to get rid of those annoyed and whatever it is, we have to get rid of your annoyances with it because I won't be comfortable doing it ever. I honestly feel like we're working on some procedural mechanisms that are going to improve that. Like just recording at your place, I think is going to make things easier because we don't have to schedule around the studio anymore.

Yes. That's a limiting factor in and of itself is that we have to schedule with the studio and Star Burns is very generous with providing us recording equipment and an engineer. Dustin's usually here, Matt's here sometimes and, you know, like, like time of their very valuable recording space that they can rent out for, you know, a lot of money to people. And so like all that is great, but it's also a very limited window when we can usually record and then that has to line up with yours and I of our availability and also a guest availability.

There's just like a lot of moving pieces. So it's just moving to your place where it's like takes one thing out of the equation. It takes one thing out of the equation and you're just always going to be there. So I know I can just like I can just like show up with like van and be like, hey, we're going to do a Carl's Jr. episode now and you'll like put down the Carl's Jr. You were already eating and we can just start recording. This is the fucking bullshit Weigar propaganda that you spew that is fucking I don't just

sit at my fucking house all day. I know I'm I'm messing with you, Mitch. I'm having a little fun. I'm having a little fun. All these people online. You always do. All these people online believe you. Yes, that will make things easier.

Being a couple weeks ahead is always makes things easier for sure, even though I think we like, you know, you like when a podcast is fresh, you like it to come out and like, you know, talking about current events and so on. Like, for instance, the Great Wall came out this last weekend. Oh, everyone's talking about the Great Wall. People can't shut up about it. And that's you want that you you want those current events to be taught if we didn't mention the Great Wall today.

You'd be like, what? When did they record this in 2015? It's 20 here in 2017 here in the here and now the Great Wall is all all my friends and family are discussing. Uh-huh. We just went to McDonald's ahead of time. You know what they got with their Happy Meals? Great Wall toys.

Is there a little they have little Damon got a little Matt Damon. You can get in there. He speaks with a weird accent. I've heard that he has a very weird accent. Did you see you saw the Great Wall? No, Jack, our buddy Jack Allison said it's weird because it's basically what did you see instead of fist fight the day fist fight came out? I saw fences.

Jesus. A movie that is first of all one you have a screener of I'm sure to it's so it's been in theaters for so long now, hasn't it? Here's the thing. I was going to see fist fight on the Saturday. It was very, very rainy that Friday night when fist fight came out. Our buddies Evan Susser and Van Robichaux who were on the previous episode wrote the word of the movie.

I thought it was very funny. I really enjoyed it. First of all, you're calling me a shut in and you said it was very, very rainy. It was pouring. It was not. It wasn't that bad. You could drive around. It was a torrential downpour.

It was practically a typhoon. There was a street caved in up in Burbank. Right. Yeah, there was a big single. In the valley. Yeah. Did you see the 101 freeway up north is just completely flooded? Did you?

California's not built to handle this kind of downpour. I heard that you drove over the spot right before the person sunk into the hole. Why are you saying that my weight weakened the road? I was actually very, I was fascinated with what is like, what's down there? You know what I mean? Well, you think like chuds are down there. You talked about going because we had a discussion off podcast about like, would you rather be, was it, would you rather be carried into space or suck down below?

What was it? It was, it was, would you rather be squished? That's what it was. Slowly squished or, or fall down into a pit. Right. And I said definitely fall down into a pit, especially if I'm in my car. But you were hoping because you could discover some sort of world down there. I think my people are down there.

I've never actually seen chud, chuds. Yeah, me neither. Cannibalistic, humanoid, underground, underground dwellers. Underground dwellers. I thought it maybe was just under dwellers. Underground, underground dwellers. I don't know. I think underground dwellers sounds, sounds more right.

Either way, it's an acronym we both approximately know and have never seen the movie. We're fucking losers. We're, we're the two guys who would just like look at the chud Wikipedia. Yes. Actually watch the film. We're the guys who, people who are nerds and proud to be nerds are like fuck those two fucking losers. But so were there, were there chud happy meal toys?

Yeah, there were. There was a little, a little sewer cover, a manhole cover you could get. Were you Ninja Turtles fan wager? I love the Ninja Turtles. Me too. I saw the, we went to Disney World as a kid. Hmm, strange if you want to see the Ninja Turtles. Well here's the thing.

At MGM they had, Oh my God, you're right. MGM they had Ninja Turtles for a time. That's right. And I remember Michelangelo was there signing autographs. And I wanted Michelangelo's autograph, but I was too nervous to ask, so I didn't get it. Oh my God, that's the most pathetic shit I've ever heard in my entire life. I think I was too old too.

Like I was like maybe nine and still, like I shouldn't have wanted, still been into that at that point. And they also said it should have been too like scared of a guy in a mascot suit. Did he take off his mask until he could get lost? I remember when I was a young boy, there was a bounce house across the street from my grandma's house. Okay. Because there was an elementary school across the street from my grandma's house.

And my grandma was like, you want to go on it? And I like went up to it and I really wanted to go on this bounce house. And I had sandals on and I was afraid to take off my sandals. So I didn't do it. And I went back to the house and I sadly just watched everyone in the bounce house. And I remember like, this is when I was like three years old. Yeah. A strange memory being like, what's wrong with me?

Like I was afraid to like lose my shoes. Right. Yeah. Why couldn't you enjoy this thing that everyone else was just like living in the moment? And my grandma was like, hmm. Yeah. I think she knew that there was something wrong with her at that moment. She was like, oh, this is my legacy.

Survived the Great Depression, a world war for this. There's certainly going to be no more generations of my bloodline stops with this one is probably what you thought, which might be true. Oh, my sister. There's two chances. Yeah. There's some more. There's a Mitchell.

Do you have one or two sisters? I have one sister. I have one sister. So there's a, I think some Mitchell offspring are in the works at some point. For sure. If not, you know, I'm going to leave a lot of, I'm going to leave everything they need behind. They'll just send a CSI team into the cat coop, swab it down, and they can create a new

generation. I was going to say you've already met Wally and Irma, so you don't, you already know the two of them, so you don't have to, you know, you're going to be comfortable going in there. You won't be awkward around Wally and Irma. I'm a little awkward around cats to be, because I don't know how to behave. I'm a lot better around dogs. I don't really know how to behave around cats.

I never had cats growing up. Can I give you a pointer? Yes. Act like a normal human, you weirdo. Don't act any differently. All right. But I'm just saying like a dog, you don't have to bend down and drink from their fucking water dish.

Well, yeah. But there's some things you can do to make a dog more at ease and to make a dog happier versus like, you know, making a dog more scared and tentative, especially if they're weird around people, you know, I just don't know what your, what the behavior cues you're supposed to do for a cat. They'll probably think you're a machine and come and sit on you. I've interacted with Wally and Irma a little bit. One of them likes me and the other one's a little skittish.

Irma is very sweet. Irma's sweet, okay. She'll come up and say hello. Yeah. Wally's, Wally's been, he's been crazy lately. Right. He's attacking my foot. He's going, he's, when I'm in bed, I'll always dab my feet.

He just, he's going nuts. He's being, he's being a little wild. I think I have to get a leash. I think I have to take him on walks. Really? I think I have to. That'll help? I mean, my, my fear is that he'll just want to go out and then like one day we'll run

out. I'll kill myself. Jesus. But I feel like I've got to get something out of him. I feel like he's, I think he's longing for the outdoors or something, but he can't. He will literally die in Los Angeles. Yeah. He's a house cat.

He's a house cat. And there's, there are coyotes. I see coyotes on my street constantly. You've got to watch out for them coyotes. The coyotes, they love cats. Yeah. And then the Franklin is right down the street and it's very busy, busy street. Right.

Heavily traffic. Okay. Let's, let's get to some of this business that we discussed. Cause we also have a restaurant to get into, um, which we've covered before, but we, it's one of my favorites and we do want to talk about a little bit. So the first thing, but this, we probably should have done this earlier, right? We bullshitted too much. And we, so we like, we should have front loaded it with a business and then fucked around

a little bit. Don't care. Get the business note. I'm just saying we, we structured this a little poorly. This is, this is my fault. Um, in any event, this, this is me planning too much. You're right. You're right.

You're okay. I'm going to let this go and operate in the moment a little bit more. Say, or you say, get, get this business out there. We'll get this business out there. Hold the people. What's going to happen with our show? We're not going to talk about the business too much. So here's the, there, there are two big points and they're, they're semi-related, but the

first thing is, uh, so we've been doing this podcast for a while. Um, as you guys know, they're, they're ads for the podcast and it, you know, right now that's kind of our one source of revenue and it kind of keeps the, the podcast, uh, going. Um, but moving forward, starting in March, we're going to start a, a, a, a, a, a, a, new, uh, way for you guys to support the podcast and also to get bonus episodes out of it. And we're going to be doing that through Patreon. Is it Patreon or Patreon? I think it's Patreon.

I thought it was Patreon. I think it's Patreon. It sounds like a long eye. Um, and so what we're going to do is we're going to have bonus episodes that we're calling the Doughboys Double and those will be out, uh, every week that there's a new episode of Doughboy, Doughboys, there'll be a new episode of the Doughboys Double accessible to subscribers to the podcast at patreon.com slash Doughboys. So we think it'll be like $5 a month and $5 a month you get access to these, these weekly

bonus episodes. So that works out to about, you know, if you do the math about or average about four a month for a year, about $1.25 an episode, I think is, is roughly what it turns into. Um, and so basically if you want those, those episodes will be ad free and those episodes will be similar to our normal episodes, but we'll be a little bit, you know, we'll break format a little bit. We might focus in on, you know, like we did recently, we, we did the episode just about the new Big Macs.

We might do an episode that's just like that. Um, there might be some that are not, maybe not about food at all. Like, like, you know, when we reviewed Rogue One, we kind of like break the format a little bit and go on a little bit of tangents, but it'll still be me and Mitch and generally a guest. And these episodes will be closer probably to an hour than to 90 minutes. But yeah, there'll be one of these available every week. And if you want to subscribe, great, we love the support and you get these bonus episodes

in return. And if you're happy with just being a fan of the podcast and listening to it for free as it is now, that's great too. You can just keep listening to the podcast. These episodes will still keep coming out every week or archive will remain free. We're not going to put that behind a paywall or anything. So yeah, it's just a new way for you to possibly listen. Now, now I can say that me getting a guest was a pretty good choice to have a guest

sit here and listen to all this fucking bullshit. Right. It's a lot of business. It's not particularly interesting. And we had to do it. But we have to do it. I'm pretty good. I am a good planner and I'm the better dough boy.

Anyway. Um, yeah, I think that, you know, we've talked about this long and we've talked about this a long time. Right. Look, if I was in charge of the podcast, this is where I'll give Nick credit is that it would just go off the air or I just wouldn't happen anymore. I, I mean, not saying that I would give up, even though I was alluding to that earlier in the episode, I, I just, I feel like, like, uh, it was important to both of us to continue

the show. I think, you know, we'll, we'll try to reel it. We'll, we'll try to make the show as a, a well-oiled machine, I guess, not like, uh, we'll still have our guests and we'll still sometimes go way over the most supposed to. But I think, I think we're, we have a plan to, to make listeners happy and make ourselves happy. Wait, are you talking about the regular podcast now? Are you talking about the bonus episode?

Are you talking about just in general? I'm just talking in general. Okay. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I think you agree with that. Yeah. Absolutely. We were doing like two hour episodes at one point. Yeah. Our episodes, well, I think that, that, you know, there, there are points certainly when the podcast kind of overstays, it's welcome. It's not too long and we just sort of let it go out of control.

But I think also too, you know, there are maybe, I don't necessarily know if all of our listeners are off put by getting more of the podcast necessarily, but I guess we're going to find out because if no one subscribes to these bonus episodes and we're going to learn that people are fine with what they're getting now, and that's fine. Maybe that's how things go. We honestly don't really know what's going to happen with this, but we figured we're going to give something a try and, you know, we didn't want to just be like, hey, give us money.

We wanted to make sure that people were getting something in return and so it basically comes down to if you feel like this is a good return on your investment, if you want to get four bonus episodes a month in exchange for five bucks, then subscribe. And if not, that's cool too. That's kind of our perspective and we're just going to kind of see what happens moving forward with that. Yeah. And there are also two of those bonus episodes.

I think, I'm not sure if I said this yet, but those bonus episodes, of course, will be ad-free. So, the ones you get for subscribers, you won't have to listen to us prowl on about whatever bullshit we'd say at the breaks. Unless someone gives me money secretly and I toss my ads in there. Yeah, that's, we feel like that's, we talked a lot about this and we got to thank Dustin and Ferrell and everyone for helping us out through all this and figuring out the way to go.

And I think that what we landed on is something that would make us happy and like we said, to make people who listen happy. Right. But we're going to find out. And I think that's enough on that. I think we've sort of run that into the ground very quickly. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you and I will be the only two who subscribe to it. I'm not going to subscribe.

Me neither. And then on that note, so that brings us to the Tournament of Chompions, which we talked about last episode. And this is the tournament that's going to be going on next month, Munch Madness. We did it last year with the Burger Brawl. And this year, we're doing chicken fight, which is we're going to try to figure out the best chain restaurant, crispy chicken, I'd say, right? We're pretty much centering it around crispy.

We're not worried about rotisserie birds too much. No, the rotisserie birds are, they're gone throughout the window. Yeah. I mean, look, we talked about this, but like, I like Boston Market. I like a few of those places that have rotisserie birds, but like, they're going to get destroyed. Yeah. There's no fucking way. There's no fucking way.

Like, we talked about like, even like our work, like the, you know, the seeds that were, you know, like an eight seed, the ones that kind of just got into the tournament. And I'm like, oh, they would, they would kick Boston Market's ass, I feel like. Yeah, no fucking chance. Because this is the thing, I eat more rotisserie chicken, I eat more roasted chicken. I eat more chicken without the crispy exterior than I do the crispy chicken, just for health reasons. Of course.

But I don't like it anywhere near as much. You want that crispy? Yeah. No, definitely. I mean, and also, where else is there besides Boston Market? We talked about, was that it? Was that kind of it? I mean, unless you want to go regional with something like Zincu Chicken, but that's that's

really an LA specific thing. I don't know what other, what rotisserie chicken chains are there? Boston Market and. There's one that we're forgetting. Hey, if you out there know a non-fried chicken chain that exists. El Pollo Loco or something. El Pollo Loco, I guess, works. Okay.

Outside of El Pollo Loco and Boston Market, hashtag Chicky Chicky. Chicky Chicky. Oh boy. We both whiffed on that one. I appreciate you even taking a swing. I think Chicky Chicky's pretty good. That was like I tried to throw an alley oop and then it like sailed over your fingertips and you still like went and grabbed the rim anyway.

Boy, what a disaster. Patreon.com slash dough boys for exclusive bonus episodes. Oh man. But the Tournament of Chombings will be going on. And on that note. Oh wait. You go for it. I just want to say that we're, you talked about the Big Mac thing.

We might not only be talking food just to be clear. Yes. We might be talking about a movie. We might be talking about the new Nintendo Switch. Right. We might be talking about a whole host of different things, right? Yeah. I would expect some deviations from our normal, like not every episode we're going to review

a chain, the way we do it on our standard episodes. We're going to keep that going because that's fun to do and we know that that's the hook for a lot of people. But we'll also do ones where, yeah, maybe we'll do something where we're just testing a bunch of different breakfast cereals or yeah, maybe we're doing one like you just said. We're reviewing the new games for the Nintendo Switch. Who knows?

I think they'll still mostly be food related because that's just what you and I talk about a lot of the time. But yeah. We'll definitely go on some more. We fuck around a little bit. The Tournament of Chompions on that note and talking about what we're going to be doing for March. Should we get into the bracket at all or should we wait till we fucking, okay, so here you

talking about? We have a hundred percent. Okay. So we'll get into the bracket and then I'll explain what this means. Who gives a shit? We ate it in and out burger. You love it too much and I like it just the right amount. That's in and out burger.

It's wrapped up. I do want to review in and out burger a little bit because I got a little bit of a deviation from my standard order and I think we have some, we'll have some insights. We'll have some time to talk about that. I'm sure you just got the listeners on the edge of their seat to hear your deviation order. Well, fucking all we've been doing so far is like going through bullet points. I know.

I'm kidding about this podcast. I'm just saying that we have to explain the tournament to them. Yes. Okay. So here's how the tournament works. We're going to be having, oh shit, should I reveal all the, well, we'll talk about this in one second. I'll go work my way up on the bracket and then we'll talk about what I should do with

it for the last one. Okay. We're going to have starting the quarterfinals. Here are going to be our matchups for the first round. In the wings region, Buffalo Wild Wings will take on Wing Stop. Wow. That's a tough one. Yeah.

In the sandwich region, these are chicken fried chicken sandwiches, Wendy's will take on Chick-fil-A. Wow. Chick-fil-A claims to have invented the fried chicken sandwich, so. Hmm. Well, you can invent something, but then you can also perfect something. That's true. Very good point.

Next up, in the small pieces region, these are unconventionally shaped chicken pieces of smaller than a, than like a wing or a breast or something like that is how we consider it. I can't just say that small pieces is like, I just don't like the naming of that. You don't like that it's called small pieces? I don't like small, that's like a way like a mum describes her child's like genitals. So we already locked it in. Cover up your small pieces.

Look, take it up with the tournament commissioner, Evan Susser. The small pieces region will have McDonald's face off against Panda Express, an eclectic matchup. That is an eclectic match. I agree. And then we finally got the full bird region. And should we reveal the competitors for the full bird region or should that be a little bit of a tease?

Oh, I guess we could, yeah, I get what you're saying now. I get your concern. Tease it. Go ahead, tease it a little bit. Okay. The full bird region will be your traditional fried chicken. And we'll let you speculate on what the competitors will be in that matchup. Yeah.

All right, that's good. And then here's the thing. This is going to be a little bit of our twist for this year. In addition to the tournament that goes on, we will also have a loser's bracket. Yes. We're going to be calling Fat Chance Kitchen, which will be, which will be... I didn't like it when I heard it the first time. Right.

And I don't like it now. You certainly, you're really acting out your displeasure now for everyone to hear. Then I'm calling Fat Chance Kitchen, and that will be, those will be our bonus episodes for March. That's right. So if you're a subscriber, you can hear our losers' bracket where we'll see each week the losers will match up against each other and then eventually the loser at the end of the month will be able to re-enter the tournament in the finals against the one that's worked

its way through the winners' bracket. So that'll be ongoing as well. So those are some things to look forward to, I guess, or to dread. If you're us and have to do it. And Mitch, I have one more thing tournament related, one more bit of business. Do I know this? You don't know this, but this is the thing I mentioned to you before. Now I talked about last year, the champion was what we're going to talk about today in

In-N-Out Burger, in the burger brawl. And it was not your pick, but you went along with it very gamely. And I talked about, in fact, I'd say I taunted you with the prospect of naming the trophy that they will be competing for in future tournament of champions, the In-N-Out Burger Cup. That's right. And you were, I'd say, furious. Yes.

I mean, it didn't win the competition. Right. It did win the competition, but you weren't particularly happy with the idea of immortalizing it in that particular fashion. In-N-Out Burger lost to Burger King. In any event, I thought in the spirit of coming together and in the spirit of making this an award that you can appreciate, that I can appreciate, that the listeners can appreciate for all time.

We're going to name the trophy after the Burger King? No, we're not going to name the trophy after Burger King. Like the Larry O'Brien trophy in the NBA, like the Stanley Cup, we're going to name it after a great person in the history of chain restaurants. The Doughboy's Tournament of Champions trophy will henceforth be named the Dave Thomas Cup. Oh, wow. I can get behind that. Right?

That's very, that's beautiful. He's like, he was a great man who did a lot of good, I think, maybe, I don't know. There were a lot of different, there were a couple of people who tweeted about Dave Thomas and there was actually two different viewpoints. Do you remember this? Someone said that he was not great with gay rights and then someone else tweeted that he was good with gay rights and we did some research on it and we couldn't really figure anything out.

It was hard to figure out his individual position. There definitely was the case that when there was the Ellen episode or the Ellen season arc when Ellen DeGeneres came out of the closet on her sitcom, Wendy's pulled their ads as did some other sponsors and it was not something that's defensible, the historically homophobic act from a bunch of different corporations. But it was hard to determine if Dave Thomas himself was behind that. If he was, obviously, that's fucking awful, but I think we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt because he seems to have been a good man in other respects or at minimum

he was telegenic. He was a commercial spokesperson who we admired. He also, I think he don't, I don't know, you just don't know, but you know what, the owner of Little Caesars was just in the news for paying Rosa Parks rent. There will be a bit of news like that and we'll get tweeted about it a lot. When the Uncar Plut hidden scene, or not hidden scene, the deleted scene from Force Awakens. Yeah, where Chewbacca ripped off his arm. Where Chewbacca ripped off his arm.

People tweeted at us and asked if we had seen it. Not only had we seen it, I watched everything on the 3D Blu-ray, including JJ's commentary like a month before that and I saw that. And I saw that very bad Uncar Plut scene where he gets his arm ripped off by Chewie. It's bad. I don't, yeah, I don't, I mean I don't really care for it either way. It's fine. I think it's good that it got deleted from the movie.

It's kind of silly. Yeah. I don't, so Uncar Plut is now here, whatever. It's so stupid. Right. It's just, it's very bad. Yeah. I don't care.

I mean, like everything in that movie, it was a lot of fan service and so they're like, well, earlier it was referenced that Wookiees rip your arms off, so let's have a, a Wookiee actually rip someone's arms off in the same way we have Ray playing with the chess board again. It just, it's a lot of winky of like, you know, hey, you know that nostalgia feeling? We're going to invoke that by just putting it in front of your eyes. Yeah. It has, it had about as much emotional weight as when Han Solo died.

So it was handled almost as well as Han Solo dying. That was a moment they could have played emotionally a little bit better. We talked about that a little bit before. Oh yeah. The fact that he died in the middle of a big like CGI ring. Well, but I mean, that's like every movie these days. Oh, get off of it, Weiger. Come on.

No, that's just movie making in the 21st century. That's bad. What? Like it's bad that, that they use CG? I mean, that, when, when you're talking about the environment, Han Solo's death is like, oh, well, spoiler alert, I guess, uh, Han Solo's death is like one of the, it's, it's, for some, it's such an important character in that franchise. It was, it was handled very poorly.

You can admit that. I think they probably, they probably could have given more emotional weight to that moment. I definitely would have liked to have seen more of the reaction from the, from Chewbacca, his best friend. I definitely would have liked to have seen more from him. I definitely would like to see more a moment where Chewbacca could have, you know, if we're going to have these, the sort of the, these heroic arcs, I would like to see a moment where Chewbacca gets to take some revenge or something and instead he just sort of like

goes crazy with a blaster for a second with his bowcaster or couldn't have Han Solo done something even more heroic. I mean, it was just fucking stupid. It was bad. It was a little dumb, but I walked out into the CGI fucking center of the whatever ship and he sat there and then the lightsaber went through him and he fell into more CGI goop. It said there, there is a history of a lot of pivotal Star Wars moments happening in sort of ambiguous, unclear locations, like that whole Cloud City battle where the, the

Luke I am your father moment, like where the, what the fuck is that exactly? It's this weird sort of ambiguous, futuristic environment. But shot so well and looks so much cooler. Yes. That's a much better scene. I agree with you. Yes. Yes.

I, like, look, I think that seems, I think that movies, I think Force Awakens is good. I think JJ did it. You are so sick. I think the movie is, is imperfect. I think that moment could have been handled better, but I think overall it was pretty good. People actually side with you. You're sick, man.

You're sick. God. You're a sick person. Well, I don't think I'm sick. I think I'm a voice of reason here. I think that, I think that you've gone mad. I hate you. We'll take a quick break or we'll be right back with more Doughboys.

All right. Welcome back to Doughboys. I'm the guest this week. That's right. Alongside Mike Mitchell, the Spoon Man. How does it feel to be in the guest chair? I'm sitting in my normal chair. I know.

I told you that you had to sit in the guest chair. I didn't want to do it. That's fair. Yeah. I have to sit there. Metaphorically in the guest chair. I don't know. I don't really feel like a guest.

I feel like I'm not really, I feel like I'm, maybe this is me not relinquishing control. Yes. You have control issues. Right. Yes. Thank you. God. Wow.

This, that, that was a breakthrough for me. No, I'll really admit it. I do. Yes. That is a problem of mine. I try to be better about delegating stuff. Hmm. I feel like I don't.

No. I'm not going to harp on this anymore. Well, no. Go ahead. I was going to say, I have, I have some trust issues with you in terms of delegating things to you because I'm worried they're not going to get done. That's insane. Stop it.

Right. I'll do the shit. Okay. You know that I do it. Yes. Sometimes, I mean, what's the worst thing I've done with this bucket? I've forgotten like our snack or whack or something occasionally. Yeah.

You've done that a few times. Oh, okay. Well, sometimes you've come with nothing too. That's true. But also, you know, I've gone out of my way to do it two other times and every time that I've, we've forgotten something, I will always go and grab something. You've put a lot of effort onto things. I, I'm, I'm agreeing with you that it's not entirely reasonable that I do that all the

time. Yeah. So I'm, I will try to do that. I will try to work on that. But you don't have to work on anything. It's fine. The way things are going are fine. Okay.

Do you think the way things are going are fine? I mean, I think the way things will go will be good. Okay. I think the setup at my house, reeling in, doing a couple of episodes, one for the Patriot, you know what I mean? The Patreon one and our regular one and, and, and, and, and kind of streamlining the stream, streamlining things will make things easier. I of course stumble on streamline because I can't say any word.

Streamlining sounds like a thing though. I know. It's making me look like my lips. Streamlining is like a, that's like when you've got like a Gatorade fountain. I would, you know, everyone, like when you're a kid, you dream of like a fountain that gives off like a milkshake or something, but a Gatorade fountain, cold Gatorade that came out of a fountain. That would be pretty sweet.

Man, that would be great. Yeah. That milkshake fountain would not work out very well. I wouldn't want, I wouldn't even want it. It'd be pretty disgusting. Yeah. The Coke fountain even would be like, it'd just be so syrupy because also the part of the thing when you're drinking from a soda fountain is it kind of gets all, or sorry,

not from a soda fountain, when you're drinking from a water fountain, it kind of gets all over you. Those children, you know, those young child brains. Yeah. That gray matter up there. You know, there aren't as many sparks flying. They just think something can happen, but there are spickets. Right.

There are spickets involved here, kids. You can't just have spickets. Yeah. When you're getting soda out of a soda fountain, there's little spickets that need to be cleaned. And then. What is the word you're saying? You know what I'm talking about?

The little spickets at the top in the tubing. Spicket? Spickets. Wait, is spickets weird? Spicket or spicket? What the fuck is going on? I don't know what word you're saying. Spicket.

S-P-I-C-K-E-T. Maybe that's just a word I don't know. Spicket? Is spicket not a word? I'm thinking of sp... It might be a word I don't know. Why do you always make me feel insane? What the fuck?

No, I just... I don't... I'm trying to understand what you're saying. Spicket. You probably... You're probably right about this. Spicket. Yeah, spicket.

It is a word. Spicket. Wait, I see spicket as Europe West Summoners League of Legends. Spicket. It's like a tap. How do we spell it again? S-P-I-C-K-E-T. C-K-E-T.

Spicket. Yes. Did you say spicket or spicket? Oh, it's a regional thing. I see what's going on. Jesus. It's a regional thing. You called it a spicket growing up.

I called it a spicket growing up because we've come from different parts of the country. Mitch, those are the unique perspectives we see in debate on this podcast. Yeah. Man, we know what, we're going to dedicate a whole bonus episode to this. You can listen to this on the Patreon. Spicket for spicket. We'll get into all those different words. Spicket sounds too much like bigot.

What? Spicket sounds too much like bigot. Right. Spicket is better, I say. Spicket sounds more like an ethnic slur. It has an ethnic slur as part of it. Jesus Christ. You know what?

It could have been easy too for you. What? To just go past spicket. I just didn't know what you were saying. I want to make sure it's processing. The tubing. I said tubing. Do you forget what I said tubing?

I didn't know what you meant by tubing. Oh my God. Tubing. I thought that spicket was referencing like a washer or something inside of it. I was just basically saying that you can't have constantly flowing Coca-Cola because things are going to get gunked up. Yes, I get it. I agree with you.

I was saying earlier you don't want to get that corn syrup all over your face because it's going to dry and you're going to be all sticky. Yeah. Corn face. They'll call you corn face. That's what I'll do. I've got a corn face. Out there, if you say spigot with a G, hashtag spigot.

And if you say spigot with a CK, hashtag not spigot. Oh my God. Oh yeah, you're an insane man. Let's talk in and out for a little bit. We proposed doing this episode and I said, first Del Taco, that was my immediate instinct, but then I caught myself and said, wait, no, let's do In-N-Out Burger because it won the tournament of champions last year and we're about to go to the tournament of champions this year.

It feels like a nice little, you were putting a bow on it a little bit. And In-N-Out Burger, we did this one fairly early on in the podcast with our buddy Armin Weitzman. That's right. And it was, I think, the first member of the Platinum Plate Club, the charter member of the Platinum Plate Club, which means five forks all around from you and me and our guest. We're going to have Armin back, maybe for the championship.

I'd love to have Armin back on the podcast. He's a mad man, but he's a lot of fun. He's in the category of guys like me, the guys who scare you a little bit. I'm not, I don't know if I'm scared of you, you think I'm scared of you? You should be, I'll kill you. I accept that though, like that doesn't scare me, I just await the inevitable. And you openly want it. Yeah, right.

I would love to die by your hand. I'd say Armin goes in that category of guys that make you nervous, in my category of guys. Armin's a wild card. A wild card. You don't really know what to expect. I know what to expect from you a little bit more than I know what to expect from Armin. You never know which Armin's going to show up exactly, right? Bugman is in there.

There's a few people like that. Bugman's a, yeah, Bugman's a mad man. Yeah, I think. Jack, you think Jack is in there? A wild bunch. Well, here's the thing. Jack is kind of very dominant and domineering. This is Jack Allison was on our second ever episode, our Taco Bell episode.

The first time we did Taco Bell. And that's probably a real weird listen if you go back now, I'm sure that's completely different from how the podcast is. It was probably like focused and good. Yeah. Well, whatever. We've gone down this hole. But Jack Allison is, Jack's a very domineering person.

I'd say he's very controlling, more controlling than me, I'd say. I think they're similar. It's funny because, but I'd still probably put him in the wild bunch crew, the guys that maybe, I feel like if you had to hire a bunch of people. A suicide squad, if you will. We are kind of a suicide, we're kind of like a suicide squad. We're an actual suicide squad. You and I are the actual suicide squad that think about killing ourselves.

And then Jack and some of those guys, I think if you were hiring, if you were putting a room together, you'd be afraid to hire the three people I said, I think Jack maybe would be the first guy you would hire. But if you, like that montage of assembling the team to blow up the meteor that's threatening Earth or whatever, those guys would all be thrown in with like a little bit of like, that's Armin. You don't know what to expect with him. They call him Bug Main.

That is real name. No one knows. Well, I was going to have Bug Main. I was actually going to have Bug Main come in as a guest today. My plan was to lie to you and say that it was just you and then have Bug Main come back. And I was thinking about this long and hard last night because I know that Bug Main could have done it today. Right.

And I was like, there's just too much to talk about, even though that would have been very funny to say you're the guest and then have Bug Main come in and ruin an hour. But I also was going to do a thing where I didn't go to In-N-Out Burger. I was going because I went and visited Bug Main. Yeah. Bug Main now, he lives at like a mall now. He lives at the Americana. Is that correct?

I didn't want to give out his where he actually lives. Do you think he's going to care? I guess if you go, if you go to the Americana and look up Bug Main, maybe you'll be able to find him. I think there's an apartment complex there. I don't think it's that. Oh, fuck. We can edit this out.

Who cares? I guess it doesn't matter. There's a lot of apartments there. That's why I was saying the Grove. It's like a mall. It's like a mall with apartments. So I went there and Jack was, Jack and Bug Main were up there. So a little bit of that Suicide Squad and we were going to, so I was like, we should go

get In-N-Out Burger because I had to do it for this anyways and I had to have the meal. But then I was like, you know what, we should go because right there is a Shake Shack and I thought it would be only fitting for me to do Shake Shack, the true winner of the tournament in my eyes. That was the runner up that was in the finals last year was In-N-Out Burger versus Shake Shack. And I thought that if I did that, that would be some sort of statement. Right.

Now? An unclear statement. But a statement nonetheless. And I will give it to In-N-Out that those guys wanted to go and eat In-N-Out instead. Wow. Good on Bug and good on Jack. Sometimes you just want In-N-Out. Yeah.

And then there's something too, the value is something to be talked about within In-N-Out Burger. There's too much. Listen. Go on. Should I tell you what I got? Please do. I got a double-double animal style.

I got a, and actually I should just say almond style, which is animal style, add raw onions. Yeah, but if you ask for almond style there, they're not going to know what you're talking about. Some might. You never know. And so they asked if I wanted diced onions. I didn't. I got just regular sliced onions in there.

And then I got fries. A little tip that a lot of people have been telling me with the fries. Get them double-fried. Yes, right. And they're kind of, you may like them better. I got them double-fried. Well done, they'll say some things. Well done, basically.

Yeah. Yes. I got them well done. And I got myself lemonade. This is also a trick I learned from Armand. There's, you can get a lemonade. They have the pink lemonade. You fill it up about a little over halfway, and you put some 7 up in there.

Oh boy. And this is kind of like a little in-and-out treat, and it was very, very, very good. Pink lemonade, a little 7 up. You can do that at pretty much any time. I mean, you can do that at any time, but it's the special in-and-out lemonade. They have their own pink lemonade. They have their own pink lemonade that's pretty good. They have their own pink lemonade that's very good.

Right. You make an Arnold Palmer with that. That's a nice little sweet treat, too. I've got to tell you, that 7 up, that little trick is really, really good. Yeah. Armand showed me that trick, and it's really good. And I've got to say, I was craving in and out because I haven't had it in a long time. And the well-done fries are better, especially if you put some salt on there, they're better.

I still don't think that their fries are great. Right. I'll hand it to them. It's because they are so potato-y, fresh-cooked fries that, I mean, it just tastes too much like a potato. What is it? It tastes too much like, it tastes less like fries like it does like a potato. Does that make sense?

I honestly think part of it is the frying oil. It's like a very, you're getting definitely a very vegetable oil. Why do they taste cardboardy, though? There's like a distinct weird... The texture to them is weird. The texture to them is weird. Yeah. Why?

I'm not exactly sure why that is. It could be the type of potato they use. I do think the frying oil has something to do with it. But it is like a little bit of a, it's a crispier vegetative toboleer, that was an awkward thing to say, vegetative toboleer. Vegetable-y-er. Wow, I got it right. Vegetable-y-er, not a word that either of us are saying, but it's a crisper vegetable-y-er

potato-y fry. It's like... I think that is a word. That's very forward, those elements. The gremlins and gremlins, too, were more vegetable-y-er than the gremlins and gremlins one. Wasn't there also like a fruit gremlin? That was a vegetable gremlin.

Oh, it was a vegetable one, okay. I think I've seen gremlins two like once. I don't know it super well. Well, there's a... It's good. Yeah. If it was, if it came out this year, it would win Best Picture. The funny thing about gremlins, too, which we probably have talked about on this podcast.

We have talked about gremlins a little bit. But there's potions that the gremlins drink and then they become these things. So I just don't know what those potions were like before they drank. Like would that have the same effect on humans? I don't understand. Right. What was the purpose of these potions then to begin with? Well, gremlins seem non-gendered, so there's a woman's potion and then the gremlin becomes

a woman. But there's like an electricity one, he drinks that, he becomes an electric gremlin. Okay, I kind of remember this. So I'm saying if humans drank that, what would happen to them? Would you become a... Like what were they studying in that lab? What if humans drank this prop from gremlins? Are you saying in the reality of gremlins as a person?

Are you questioning if I think that a human will turn into electricity? Are you fucking weirdo? Here's what they should have done. To your point, Mitch, they should have had that moment pay off in the movie because it's inviting that question. And if that question is in the audience's mind, well, give them an answer and let's see what happens. Because that feels like a fun third act thing of like, hey, this human character, to fight

these potion gremlins, I got to become a potion man. Yeah. And he swigs one of those potions and he... And he turns into a vegetable? Yeah, he turns into a vegetable guy. And he's fucking them up somehow. Interesting. Yeah, I would like to see that.

I think that would have been a fun deviation. I do like potions in general. I think potions are cool. There should be more potions in movies and they're great in video games. Potions are fun. Potions are awesome. It's a fascinating that someone turning into an animal or a... It's fun.

Potions are fun. Yeah. I like the potions that heal your wounds. That's a cool video game convention you don't really see and reflected in cinema. I was watching Alien vs. Predator Requiem. He has a potion that dissolves any carcass. It's like a blue potion that will dissolve... It sounds less potion-y and more chemical.

I guess you can't drink that potion. Right. I think the potion... I'm thinking of the classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You drink it out and it changes who you are. Wow. I got shot down. Really.

I mean, the movie sucks. Yeah. Potions, drinking, but that's fun. I think you and I like this so much because you can change who you are. And it involves consuming something. We should review some potions. Do you think so? I wonder if we'll live long enough.

Do you ever wonder if we'll live long enough to, even just to see a brain be put in a computer? Or actual matter, like if scientists are able to change matter in any way or whatever. I don't think we will. I think we'll be dead. Yeah, I think we're going to be one of the later generations to die off before that. I think there's just so much that needs to be solved for that to be figured out. But I think we'll probably see in our lifetimes they'll be like, oh, this AI is as smart as a snake or something.

You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. Like this AI has the same brain power. Actually, that's fucking boring. Yeah, it's not particularly interesting, but that's what these advances always are. It's always like, oh, they figured out how to grow a human ear on the back of a lab rat. Yeah. It's like, okay.

Well, great. Well, how's that going to help anyone? Yeah, well, I think it does actually help people a lot. It replaces body parts and so on. Oh, right. Okay. But what's the term for when the technology doubled and it just is increasing? It is always double?

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Well, the singularity is the endpoint. Yes, I know the singularity, but there's another word for it. There's a law for it. Moore's law, is that it? I think it might be Moore's law. Some guy named it, and yeah, it's like the idea that computing power doubles every few

every year, every couple of years. I know the name of this. See, this is why this podcast sucks. It's some sort of law, because we reference things we don't really know about. But we do know them. Yeah. And then people are going to be like, actually. Right.

Actually. Yeah, but I mean, it's different when you're talking into a microphone, just having a conversation versus when you've got Wikipedia in front of you. Oh, well, in any event. I know, yeah, we're not going to see that. That's too bad though. It would be fun to live forever, right? I don't know.

I mean, because then it's just like, what's the fucking point? That's what I look at when I play this game, this game, Stardew Valley that I'm playing, that I really enjoy. But then I've, you know, and not avoiding spoilers or whatever, but I've just sort of looked around of like, what's the end game or whatever. And it just seems like it seems like, and I could be wrong about this, but this is just kind of one of those games that just kind of keeps going on. And for me, then when I know that, I'm just like, okay, well, I don't know what's the

point of any of this fucking shit. There's no end goal. I don't like games like that. Yeah. This just goes, spins on. Eventually, I'm just going to accumulate enough resources where I'm like, okay, well, now I've kind of done this, I've got the self-sustaining ecosystem, now what? You know?

I just, I just wanted to live long enough for like people, like when they get punished, they're like, like they turn someone into a dog. Wait, so like wizardry is taking place? Yeah, basically. Like things from the movie Willow? Yeah. Someone's using a wand to turn someone into animals? All right.

Yeah. I want to live in a future where it's like, he's punished like the lobster, you know? He's turned into a dog from here on out. That's funny. You think that's going to happen? I think the kids are that cruel and unusual punishment. And I think it will happen one day. Like a human brain inside of a dog or like you'll just be a dog and you'll have dog thoughts?

I don't know. I haven't thought it out enough to really figure it out. Anyways, let's get back to the food. So here's, in and out burger, where are you going to say what you got? I don't remember where you were. Yes, I got a double, double animal style slash arm and style. I got my well done fried, well done fried, and I got a lemonade with a little bit of seven up in there.

Right. And then here's what I got. I went for an unconventional order. I'm going to be raked over the coals for this. I did not get fries. What the fuck? I love fries. You don't know you don't.

I love fries. But I was like, you know what? I'm not going to get fries today. I'm going to mix it up. I'd normally get fries. Let's try something else. I got the double meat with onion mustard fried. This is a thing from the secret menu where they slather a little bit of mustard on it.

Animal style is mustard fried, just so you know. Yeah, but as distinct from the animal style, which also has the onions, the grilled onions on it, it has the raw onions. So it's just the patty mustard fried. And then it's got with raw onion and then also added diced chilies. And the double meat is something you can get if you don't want the cheese on the double double. It's actually a burger I used to get the most of the time from in and out burger.

So you get no cheese. You get no cheese. You get no fries and no cheese? Well, here's the thing. I got as my side, I got the Flying Dutchman, which is something from the secret menu. Are you familiar with this one, Mitch? No. Here's the description from the full secret menu.

And again, if you're new to in and out burger, they have an extensive secret, they have a very simple menu with three burgers, fries, and a few drinks. But there's an extensive secret menu that's not listed there, but you can find out pretty easily on the internet all these different options. Here's one of them, the Flying Dutchman. No buns, no onions, no lettuce. Two slices of melted cheese, sandwiched between two beef patties. It's like super duper paleo.

Interesting. And so it's just two seasoned patties with two slices of cheese inside. I've gotten it a few times before, this has been a while since I got it. It's very, very salty because it doesn't have any of that sweet spread or that bun to cut the vegetables, to cut the saltiness at all from the meat. It's just like super salty. So you're just getting the salt from that seasoned meat and that cheese. That said, it's pretty good, and if you're looking for something that's kind of as paleo

as you can get from a fast food restaurant, that's a decent option. It's not particularly filling, but it's pretty tasty. Interesting. Yeah. So I had the, that is my side. So I had a bunch of meat. The Flying Dutchman had the double meat as my main burger. You know, I don't necessarily see a reason to go mustard fried instead of animal style.

I feel like you might as well go animal style all the way. Yes. What's interesting about it is also, you're also getting the grilled onions, and if you're losing that element, it becomes less interesting. I mean, if you have some of that mustard fried patty on its own, you're definitely getting that sort of mustard flavor, which is a nice contrast. The sourness of the mustard is kind of a nice contrast to the sweetness of the in and out spread, but I don't see necessarily a reason to get this over animal style.

I used to do the mustard fried when, in a lettuce wrap, when I was doing keto at one point. Right. Yeah, that's not a bad option. It's good, and they'll put some mustard on there too. It's good. Yeah. Those tomatoes can be an issue if you're being super-duper strict about keto, but it's hard.

It's tough to be that fucking strict. Bless you. Oh my God. You get the sneezes. I got a sneeze that, I've never sneezed on the podcast before, my first sneeze. I can make a note on the Doughboys Wikipedia that's no longer maintained. Hashtag first sneeze. Have I sneezed on the podcast?

I don't feel like I have. I've definitely coughed. I don't think I've ever seen you sneeze, which goes into my theory that you don't sneeze, and there's a tray in your back that Natalie vacuums out that has a bunch of dust collected in it. If you remember your first sneeze, hit us up, hashtag first sneeze. Do you remember your first sneeze? No, I don't.

I remember specifically when I was throwing up, I remember telling my dad I was sick, and my dad was like, you're going to school. I was in elementary school, and I remember we were driving to school, and I rolled down his window, and I threw up out of his window. This is the first I really remember as an adult. I was in fourth or fifth grade or something. I remember being like, nice. I was happy that I threw up, and I got to go home from school.

You also proved a point to a skeptical old dad who thought you were faking it. Yeah, I should have fucking turned around and puke on him. I remember, I have a memorable puke. It definitely wasn't my first puke, but I have a memorable puke from I got a concussion in fifth grade. We were on the playground. I don't remember what happened. Apparently, I tripped.

I hit my head, and then I woke up in the nurse's office at school and ended up in a ... My parents were on vacation, so my grandparents who were babysitting me took me to the ER, Urgent Care, wherever, and I was in there with the doctor, and they were examining me, and they're just sort of like, how do you feel? I felt fine, but just a little dizzy, and then out of nowhere, I just like puked all over myself, which was just like a residual concussion puke, but this was like an hour after I'd hit my head. It was very strange.

Is that the day you became like RoboCop? We were like, they rebuilt me, replaced most of my human components with machines. Uh-huh. Yes, that's what happened. And what's ... Neil or Paul used to have a sketch. What's the drug from RoboCop? Oh, Nuke? Is that what it is?

Oh, was it your sketch? Nuke. I don't know. I don't remember. Oh, man. I don't think I had a Nuke sketch. Did you fight the streets and get rid of all the Nuke on the streets? It's someone's sketch, right?

I think Neil had a tech war one. Oh, it is a tech. That's what it is. This is what people listen to the podcast for. I was trying to figure out who wrote a sketch from 2007. That was on the UCB stage in front of 80 people. Yeah, but I do have a general fascination with those future drugs. It's just like an interesting video.

How was Nuke? I would maybe try Nuke. I don't know. I'm interested in clarity. Is Nuke kind of like crack? I feel like Nuke is maybe like crack. I think that was the idea. I think it was like sparse to be something that really was ruining the streets.

I think clarity from Minority Report always looked interesting to me. For the hit that he buys from the Eyeless Man. Oh, yes. It's like the little thing that he, it's like a little case that he, it's like it looks like a contact lens case and he opens it up and he huffs it. Yeah. Hey, I got a question. Go for it.

And on the Patreon, do you think that we could, you think we, for one episode we should smoke crack? Jesus Christ. No, I think it's a bad idea. I mean, we should do it for the, for people though, right? And see what it's like. Use some sort of illicit drug. I don't think that's a, no, I don't think it's a good idea.

All right. Maybe we'll, maybe we'll smoke crack one episode. I don't think we should use it. I think we should try to keep it focused on food. But if we want to deviate from things a little bit, from format a little bit, I think that's fine. I also got a strawberry shake. Why did you take me saying smoke and crack so seriously, god damn it?

I don't think I took it seriously. Oh my God. We shouldn't do that. Anyways, moving on. I don't think it'd be, I don't think it'd be a particularly interesting topic. I know we shouldn't smoke crack. I'm joking. Right.

But maybe we should just once. I think, I don't think you should, I don't, crack, crack or whack segment. I don't like this, I don't like this line of discussion. What, what is making you nervous? I'm, no, I'm not particularly, I'm not nervous. I'm just like, I don't think we should be, I don't think we should have a crack segment on the show. Yes, of course not.

I'm putting my foot down. Yes. I agree with you. So I don't want to like, noodle on this, because I think this is just a bad idea. Are you afraid that I will do it? No, I'm just, I want to make sure, this is the thing, people get riled up. And they hear something, they hear some sort of tangent explored on the show and they fix it on it.

Look, look, yes. I'm going to just say it. Some guy, he, he, he reported us to the, to the CIA, right? For something we said. The Secret Service. The Secret Service. I'm sorry. Whatever.

And for something we said on a past episode. Right. So Nick is, is afraid of that. No, I'm not afraid of this in particular. I'm not afraid of the DEA. That man was, that man was a crazy man. Right. So we don't have to worry about that.

There, I think there are crazy people who probably, the DEA, we're not going to smoke crack. I didn't say that. I'm not worried about the DEA, like us reporting the DEA, being reported to the DEA necessarily. I'm not worried about that. I'm not worried about anything. I'm just like, let's just move on from this. Yeah.

We explore this topic. That for sure is the best, the best thing of all, and I should have moved on from it. Right. I just, I had to, I had, I had to get in there. I felt like we were getting into a rut on that and then we got in that rut and then we reveled in it. Like just like pigs in slop. That's what the podcast is all about, baby.

We have a tendency to do that. But I was like, no, I don't think we need to explore this particular aspect too much. I agree. Let's get to our final thoughts in an up burger because we're going to run lying on time when we've got guests coming in here for other episodes that we're going to record. So in an out burger, I also got a strawberry shake, quite good. It's definitely that artificially strawberry flavor. And I'll roll right into my final thoughts and my review on this, this chain.

You know, I'm going to give it five forks. I mean, I love it in an out burger. It's my favorite fast food restaurant. I think it's fantastic. I think it's a SoCal original. I think it does everything right. I think it has a good corporate ethos ethos or ethos. How do you say that?

I think ethos, right? I think ethos. Yeah. It has a good corporate ethos. Do I say ethos? I don't know. That's hard. Ethos.

Regular spigot, spigot situation. Ethos sounds too much like a Greek God. Right. Which it might be. In any event, I think they have good corporate ethics, let's just say. They pay their employees. They can compensate their employees well and by all accounts, their employees are treated well and have health insurance.

They have a good family-owned business where each individual location is owned by the company, which leads to good corporate practices as opposed to outsourcing everything to franchisees who sometimes might be exploring workers in certain cases. Beyond that, the uniformity of the food is excellent. You go to different ones. We went to an out burger. Coming home from our show, we did a sketch fest. Mitch, when we did San Francisco sketch fest, I had to drive home.

We stopped at an out burger on the way home. Excellent. We just did a random one at the side of the road by the I-5 in some small town and it was an excellent in and out burger, just as good as the ones back home because they just have good quality control across their different locations. I stopped and I got a Grand Mac. Oh, you got a Grand Mac and not for the podcast, just to get one. It was.

I talked about it, although on the ... Yeah, we talked about this previously. Yes. Yes. And it's better burger than the in and out burger. I disagree. But in any event, in and out burger, it's really good. It's a great chain.

They have great food and hey, man, that's what a hamburger is all about. Five forks. Go ahead, Mitch. I was craving in and out. In and out is an institution in California. I get it. I get it. In fact, a lot of my issues with it come from Nick, liking it too much.

Right. It is very good. Here's my issue and I stand by this issue. It's good, but it's really a wet vegetable burger. Those toppings are intense. I get a double-double. That should be more meat, the ratio of meat to vegetable lettuce and tomato and pickles and bun.

The meat should be the greatest aspect of that burger. You agree with that? I think it's a component for the sandwich, but yes, the meat is the star. If you get the burger absent the meat, that's going to be a thing that you're missing. Yes. So, my issue, when I was eating this again, the fries were better. Put some salt on there. They were good.

The lemonade was great and I do love the burger when it's done right. Next time I go, I think I might go, no lettuce and no tomato. I'm going to try it. I've never done it before. I just wonder how it will be because I think a lot gets lost in that little, in that ratio. They put so much lettuce on there. Yes, there's a lot of lettuce. There's too much lettuce.

It's good. I like it a lot. I really like it. What else is there to say? One, the tournament, even though it shouldn't have won the tournament, it should have been Shake Shack. It's a rifle winner. No, it is not a rifle winner.

Anyways, my fork rating is 3.9 forks. It's going to take it out of the Platinum and Golden Plate Club for now. It's still in the Platinum Plate Club. As the winner of the tournament of champions, it has immunity from devotion. What the fuck is this? We're making up rules. So, canonically, it's in the Platinum Plate Club for life and... You know what?

I'll even irk you even more. Go for it. Four and a half forks. There's my real rating. So, it's still in the Platinum Plate Club. No, it's not. Because I know you're just trolling, so we're not going to retcon out your rating. I think 4.5 is my new rating.

Okay. So, it's still in the Platinum Plate Club. No, it's in the Golden Plate Club. No, but it was already in the Platinum Plate Club, so it's not being devoted. In any event, we can talk about this all day. Thank God it's not in the tournament this year. We can talk about it all day. Its name is going to be engraved on the Dave Thomas Cup, which I am getting made.

And next year, after this tournament, it will be joined by the winner of Chicken Fight, and we'll see what comes out on top. We'll see who wins. In any event, Mitch, thank you for broaching in and out Burger with an open mind. I know that you prefer other burgers to it, but that said... Shake Shack's better. Hey, that's your opinion. I'm not going to get mad at you for it.

That said, I live in and out Burger. I think it's fantastic. Okay, so let's get to our segment. Mitch, you have a little something, right? I do. Okay, that's the rustling you hear there is a letter. So I talked about on this podcast how we were sent all dressed chips. Someone mailed it to here at Feral Audio.

That's right. From Canada. Now, I asked for people to send all dressed chips, and someone was nice enough to do it. Barry Lamb from Canada, from Ottawa, Canada. He writes, dear Nick and Mitch, I want to thank you all for all the work that you do for the podcast, especially Mitch. He does the most work. My lovely wife, Melissa, and I...

Did he write that? No. My lovely wife, Melissa, and I enjoy listening to it together. It's one of the few shows we are both fans of. Anyway, no offense to my fellow Canadian who sent you stuff back during Rock Lobsterfest. Damn. But I think he dropped the ball and properly representing our country in the snacks department. I thought I would send you a variety of treats to try out.

I hope they make it to you in good order and uncrushed, enclosed, president's choice, supermarket house brand, loads of all dressed chips, better than laze slash ruffles. Wow. Coffee crisp, my favorite chocolate bar, hickory sticks, smoky and salty. We did get those, to be fair. Eat more bars, weird dark chewy toffee and peanuts, Swedish berries. I think you guys have Swedish fish. These are basically the same, but berry shaped.

More tarts, reminiscent in taste to pecan pie, but more buttery, I guess. And malt teasers, like whoppers, but better. Enjoy. Cheers. Barry Lamb. Barry, thank you so much. And you know what? We are going to eat some of what you sent today, because a friend of mine from the Boston

Air, actually from Worcester, I believe. You're reaching for the other chips right now? Yeah, I'm reaching for the other chips. Mitch has two bags of chips in front of him, and it looks like they're both of the all dressed variety. Do you have another letter to accompany this one? No, I don't think Brian sent anything. So anyways, this is my friend Brian O'Donnell from the Boston area, and I believe he lives

in Worcester. He's the man. A great guy. He's got a brother Casey. Okay. They're good dudes. They lived in Los Angeles for a while. Nick, I think you met them at some point.

Brian was nice enough to send us ruffles all dressed. Oh boy, okay. So Barry, we get to test you with your little theory here of these store brand chips being better than the ruffles chips. This is a happy coincidence. It's a happy coincidence. A real opposite gift of the magi. Two great guys send us these two different bags of chips.

I'm going to open up these ruffles right now. So we got the ruffles all dressed. It says right on the bag, all dressed, number one flavor in Canada. What does all dressed mean? Find out on the back, and then there's a bunch of bullshit on the back. And there's like a gigantic list of ingredients on the back. I bet you're wondering what all dressed means. After all, in America, it just means you're wearing all your clothes.

All right, ruffles. But in Canada, all dressed actually means delicious, ridgy chips that somehow taste salty, savory, and sweet all at the same time. Sounds good, eh? So these seems like, it seems like these were made in America, right? I mean, yes, they're made in Texas. Right. So I'm going to try one of the all dressed ruffles chips.

Yeah, and there's a big maple leaf on the front of these. The ones I'm holding are President's Choice Le Chois des Présidents, as it's written in French, loads of all dressed flavor, and I'm holding that one as I'm going to actually take a bite of the ruffles all dressed. So I'm reaching over into Mitch's bag right now. I'm going to have a little chop of this. Excuse the chewing. Hmm.

Okay. Those are good. Those are good. I like the ruffles all dressed. Yeah, I mean, definitely like, it's definitely, as someone who's an all dressed neo-fight, it's definitely very analogous to barbecue flavor. Hmm. Like, it's only a couple steps removed from barbecue.

It's kind of like in between barbecue and cheddar and sour cream. By the way, Barry, we will eat your snacks on a later episode, right, Nick? Or maybe I'll just eat them at my house. Yeah, we'll get, I mean, we're tackling just the all dressed right now in the interest of time, but yeah, I think we'll get to everything at some point. All right, now I'm eating the President's Choice. Let me get some of those President's Choices as well. Hmm.

Shouldn't it be Prime Minister's Choice if we're talking in Canada? Wow. I think they really fucked up on that one. Yeah, explain yourself, Barry. Yeah, what are you doing? Wow. Okay. Well, there's definitely a different sort of ridge here.

What's the main difference, I notice? The ruffles have those real tight, streamlined, almost like record groove ridges. And the all dressed has a much wavier waveform, if you will. They're like rolling planes. What the fuck? No, it's just a little different. It's like the ocean, it's like the ocean at rest versus the ocean during a storm. I get you.

Okay. It's like the actual ridges. The density is a little different. For me, I notice a difference in that. I think that the President's Choice, the flavor comes off a lot more. Yeah. And if I had to compare to them to something, I would say that they're kind of like, have you ever, let's see, these are also kind of obscure chips, but there are these chips

from New Orleans that are like salt, oh god, they're the voodoo chips. Okay. And they're basically salt and vinegar with barbecue. Okay. I feel like this is that with more ingredients probably. Yeah. It's got a lot going on. Yes.

It's definitely like a more complex barbecue. Yes. It's tough for me because you know what? The actual potato and the chip, I actually maybe like the ruffle more. Yeah. But I like the seasoning and the taste on the President's Choice better. First of all, I'm going to just say it right off the bat, snack for both of these. Yes.

Definitely snack. Is that what we're doing? We're doing snack or whack? I mean, it is a snack. We might as well just say it. Who gives a shit for God's sake? Can we call it a say yes to the dressed? You know what?

No. We can't say snack or whack. We can't say whether or not we're going to say yes to the dressed. All right. We can say yes to the dressed. Okay. You know what? I say yes to both of these dressed.

And I say that this is one of the better snacks we've ever tasted on the podcast. Yes. I really, really like them. These are real good. I could, in Gabriel's, John Gabriel's terms, I could take a whole bag of these to the dome. I mean, finish them in one setting. It sounds as cool as when I say it as it does when Gabriel says it, right?

Yeah. It's basically like when Grandpa Simpson rides a skateboard or a skateboard. But these are, they're both very good. I think I give the slight edge to the ruffles. I think I like, but I mean, that might also partly be my pre-existing fondness for ruffles is the mainstream chip variety. I'm going to be un-American here and Brian, I love you and this is awesome to be able to taste test the two of them.

I haven't given nod to the Canadian chips that just that flavor that I want is really coming off and that taste that ruffles, the flavor is much weaker. Yeah. I think that the, there's definitely more sweetness in the ruffles. I'll have another ruffle real quick. It's definitely more of a hickory sort of character to it. I think I still like them more because I like the texture more. That's fair.

These are a little flimsier. These, they taste almost like kind of like, you know how there is like potato sticks or whatever. Yeah. It kind of has like that kind of like burnt potato-y flavor where ruffles is just like classic ruffles, but with this taste, but it's not, the taste isn't strong enough. I got to go with President's Choice. I guess they, they did it.

Congrats to Barry. Brian, you lost. You didn't know you were entering a competition when you lost. Yeah, Brian. I'm going to, I like yours better, Brian, but I'm also going to say you lost. Just because you know what, America is kind of at an A-deer right now. And I think we could use a little bit of a, we could use some comeuppance. We could use being put in our place by our neighbors to the north a little bit.

Yeah, Brian. What the fuck? Get over your shit, Brian. Get it together. Be more like Barry. Well, thank you to, thank you to Brian and Barry. That was great. There, that was, that was a lot of fun.

I'm glad we got to eat those. Just like a restaurant via your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Phil in Cleveland. Phil writes, Dear boys, first time long time, I'm halfway through your Mac podcast and I had to pause it to tell you something. In my hometown of Juneau, Alaska, there's a menu item called the McKinley Mac named

for the highest peak in North America. There was also a Denali double burger for a time, but that never caught on. The McKinley Mac was exactly what you all were calling for from the big, from the grand Mac rather. It used the regular Big Mac bun, but with a quarter pounder patties used in the QPC and the double QPC, there was an extra shot of Mac sauce and an extra pickle to balance it out. I grew up in Juneau and worked at McDs for a couple of years in high school and early

college. As far as I know, it's still a menu item there, but I guarantee that they'd serve you a McKinley Mac if you asked. Even if it's off menu now, I'll animal style and not reference. This isn't really a question, more just news item, but just for kicks, do you know of any other standard chains, Wendy's, Domino's, etc. that have regional menu items like this, any favorites. PSA, a group fan about the filet of fish working up there, we came up with all kinds of tricks

for the food. A tip, as for a McChicken on a steamed bun, the bun they used for the filet of fish with tomato and Swiss cheese, thank me later. Thanks for the question, Phil. That sounds good. It does sound good. It's a lot of engineering. It's a lot of substituting you have to do, but that does sound pretty tasty.

We've talked about it before on this podcast, but I like when a menu item is presented to me. Me too. I don't like having to go through all the tricks. Yeah. I know that I've also mentioned that they have a lobster roll at McDonald's that's pretty decent up in the Northeast or whatever when certain times of the year, but I can't think of actual regional specifics.

I like the sound of that McKinley Mac. I basically requested that at McDonald's when the lady made it, she made it like a big Mac for me. But I can't think of any kind of region, I'm sure that it's happened in Massachusetts. The one that comes to mind, yeah, go on. I was just going to say that as time goes on, I kind of don't like this. But regional differences are kind of fading, which it makes me sad. Like radio stations are like, it used to be when you would go to a city, you would listen

to a radio station to be very specifically geared towards whatever that city that was. And now I feel like it's all kind of the same everywhere. It's kind of, we're so connected now and we're so close that there obviously is differences, but I feel like the small differences from the past have kind of faded. Do you agree with that? No, I think that's absolutely fair. I think that's definitely been the case. That makes me sad, actually.

Yeah, I can see. I mean, that's part of the singularity. Well, it's not quite what I was driving at, but sure. I'm sure the singularity will leave the world becoming all generic, but I do kind of feel like, yes, those differences are kind of what makes each region special and unique. Obviously, this is a very, boy, this is not an interesting point at all to make. But I mean, what I'm trying to say is that, yes, everything becomes the same from coast to coast.

It becomes, everything becomes flatter and less interesting, and it is kind of nice having those local haunts as much as we talk up the virtues of chains on this podcast. The thing I'll address regarding the regional menu items, nothing comes to mind, but I will say one of the original Del Tacos, which is in, I want to say, it might be Barstow, California. It's on the drive to Vegas. It could also be in Baker, but I think it's in Barstow, California, and that one's got a tostada that's not on the menu anywhere else, and that's pretty damn good. So if you're making the drive to Vegas, give that a shot.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com. If you have a roast for Mitch at the top of the show, roastspoonman at gmail.com. Check out our Facebook page, DowboysFullness on Twitter at DowboysPod. Rate and review us on iTunes. And Mitch, here's normally where the guest plug would go. Yeah. Do you have something to plug, Wager?

I do have something to plug. An actual plug. You can become a patron of Dowboys and get access to the Dowboys Double, our exclusive weekly bonus episodes, which will start in March. I think our first one will be March 7th, is when the first episode will be out. The link should be up today. And subscribe at patreon.com slash Dowboys. I thought you were going to plug a literal plug, the plug that you plug yourself into

the wall. Like to charge myself? Uh-huh. Right. Mitch. You know what? Here's to a positive steps to the new Dowboys. Yeah, to the new Dowboys.

To the new Dowboys. Mitch, to the new Dowboys. Oh, Jesus. To the new Dowboys, Nick. To the new Dowboys. Cut to a month later and the podcast is over. We're both dead. That'll do it for today's Dowboys.

For my guest, Nick Weigher, this is the Spoon Man saying Happy Eatins. See ya. What the? Serial audio.