Doughboys - Islands with Nick Mundy

Episode Date: June 30, 2016

Conan and Screenjunkies vet Nick Mundy hops in studio to talk sports, Texas grub, and west coast burger joint and tiki bar combo Islands Fine Burgers & Drinks. Mundy, Mitch, and Wiger make a culinary visit to the World of Warcraft in a new Snack or Wack.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ernest, Raymond, Beaumont, Gant. That's the birth name of Don Beach, a Texas native Prohibition bootleger and Air Force major who spent his younger years sailing the Caribbean, and fell so in love with the beach, he adopted it as his surname. In 1933 in Hollywood, California, in a maelstrom of cultural appropriation, Mr. Beach crammed together Polynesian decor, Cantonese food, and potent Caribbean rum-based cocktails into what it would be the first Tiki Bar. Being as creations like the Poo Poo Platter and the Mai Tai, the Tiki craze was legitimate

in Beach's lifetime and continues nostalgically today, and though representing no real, existent culture, it has become instrumental in informing American perception of oceanic peoples. In the early 1960s, Tony de Grazier, a military man of a different era and branch of service, was stationed on Oahu when he became an aficionado of surfing waves and sipping boozy drinks with his navy pals. De Grazier later combined the Tiki aesthetic and cocktails with a menu of meaty burgers and baskets of fries, choosing as his foothold the biggest beach community in the U.S. Southern California.

In 1982, his first restaurant opened on Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles, just a few blocks from beloved local burger institution, the Apple Pan. While the Apple Pan has stayed put as a bustling single eatery, De Grazier's creation has grown into a chain of 50 locations across California, Nevada, Arizona, and the state that inspired it, Hawaii. This week on Doe Boys, Islands, Find Burgers and Drinks. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're part of ferrelaudio.com.

The best way to support ours and other shows on the network is to use the referral link on our website anytime you shop at Amazon. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Melting Gray Hulk, Mike Mitchell, The Spoon Man. That insult was courtesy of Mickey Caulfield. Thanks, Mickey. And if you've got an insult you'd like me to use on Mitch at the top of the show, email roastspoonman at gmail.com. What a piece of shit.

Mickey? You know what, who gives a shit? How you doing, Mitch? You can't be meaner to me than I've already been to myself and my head. That's the impossible challenge of roasting Spoon Man. I've thought all these things, but worse, no easy time's over. One day you'll have to make a prize of whoever makes them cry. I just want to say to Spoon Nation, here we go.

I like that. Yeah, that was good. Because I went over all your stupid insults. You know, you call yourself the Spoon Man, Mitch, and our intern, Yusong, who's back with us for the summer. He was with us last summer, and he's from, he actually goes to Cornell in Ithaca near where you went to school as you're fucking up with your phone, as you usually do. This is a transition.

Yusong was telling us that his mom is aware of dough boys, and erroneously and adorably referred to you not as the Spoon Man, but the Spoon Master. I love that. Yeah, that's great, right? Yusong, your mom is a great lady, and she's right in a lot of ways. I kind of am the Spoon Master. Maybe I should move on to the Spoon Master. Sure, why not?

Is that weird, though? I think it is weird, as you've established Spoon Man, that's canon. To now change things over? Yeah. Well, it's like it said, Gandalf the Grey becoming Gandalf the White. Don't have to die? Yeah, you probably have to die and be resurrected. I'll be resuscitated at some point soon.

Sure. That drop, by the way, was from Byron McCoy, and that's at Byron McCoy on Twitter. Good job. Yeah. He goes to school in Ithaca. Yeah, he goes to Cornell, which is, you went to Ithaca, was the University of Ithaca, or what's it called? Ithaca College.

You went to Ithaca College, you went to Cornell, which is also in Ithaca, which is a neighbouring, competing, much better school than yours. It was better. In fact, I liked, every time I went over to Cornell, they were kind of more my people. Oh yeah, yeah, sure. That's right. Okay. You know what I'm talking about.

More intelligent. I had more conversations over there. That's it. I ate just as much food on both sides of the hill. He's a great guy, and his mum sounds great. But tell her not to make that mistake again. Write it down. I just want to say, for Spoonman Drops, I'm going to do a new thing.

Email me at spoonmandrops at gmail.com. Have you already signed up for this email address, Mitch? I have not signed up for it. All right, I'm going to race to register this after we finish recording. Spoonman Drops at gmail.com. Email me new drops. There's a new Weigur amendment that they have to be a minute or less, and he preferably 30 seconds.

And work some stuff in there, work some Spoonmaster in there, give me a bunch of different things. If I haven't played your drop, give me the subject line. You've never played my drop, Spoonman, and send it again to the new email address because I have lost track of a lot of these things. It's been really bad. I'm not an organized man, but I'm taking some steps in my life to become a better man. Well good for you. I had a sleep study this last week to see if I have sleep apnea.

I've actually done the same thing before, and it's really, let's introduce our guest and let's get into it a little bit. We're thrilled to have him from Screen Junkies, from as many appearances on Conan. The very, very funny Nick Mundy is here. Hi, Nick. Hey guys, thank you for having me, but just hold on just a sec. Oh boy. I am.

All right, partner. Keep on rolling, baby. You know what time it is. Time to play the game. Play some rap music. We must kill Austin Power. Regulators. You regulate any stealing of his property.

We're damn sure it's good to be a gangster. It's my life. It's my life. It's my life. Yeah, that I'm sorry, I didn't know about the minute thing. That's all right. That was great. Maybe you should take the title of Spoon Master.

Yeah, I'll be Spoon Master. We're on the same train, right? Yeah. It's you four years in the future, but married and happy. Everyone calls Mundy Mitch 2.0. Well, except I'm the sad bastard who spent four hours working on that drop. Just to make sure it was good and like, I missed a deadline. My wife was like, hey, can we go out to dinner?

I was like, no. I got to work on this drop. See, that's where you and I, that's where we part ways. I don't do work. Mitch, walking into the studio. Shit, I need a drop for this week. Frantically checking the Doe Boys email and then picking one at random. You want me to say this?

I would do more there. I don't know how to. I was a huge computer nerd when I was younger, which even nowadays just saying that is obnoxious, but I went to the Mac World Expos and stuff like that. I was really into computers, but I'm so mad at myself because I fell off and then just was like, yeah, who gives a shit? Like, I was a computer science major because I liked computers, which is dumb. I didn't realize.

I did that too. I did that too. I was the same guy, except I'm still watching the Apple WWDC conference streaming it. And then I don't know what it said, the guy who forgot to do his own bit for the show he does once a week, and it's not that hard to remember, or the guy who spent four hours making his own drop. I don't know what's sad. It's around the same level of sad, but yeah, they collide, I feel like.

I think a guest putting in effort to a show that he has volunteered his time to be on is a lot less pathetic than one of the hosts, almost forgetting one of his duties. I do a lot of behind-the-work scenes, folks. What was that? I do a lot of behind-the-scenes work, folks. We should mention that. Oh my god. We should mention that.

Oh my god, I am fucking dumb. Like, Brian, honestly, we'll get into, I'll get into why I feel a little loopy. Yeah. No, but we should mention that I specifically rode with Wyger over here, because I thought you would get lost and then go home. And then it would just be me, you, and then we'd have to find a guest. Nope, for whatever reason I continued to come up here to this podcast where I sit and get berated for an hour and a half.

I'm gonna make fun of Wyger with you. I did the whole thing. Our plan, Mundy and I's plan, was to make fun of you, Wyger. You guys pre-game this? Yeah, because you suck. We were gonna team up together. Well, Mitch said that you were scared to have me on because there would be two mitches on the show and then you would get bullied.

And I was like, he's got a point. We were thinking about just calling you nerd and just dancing you. Dropping discussion and just tossing you in the air back and forth to each other. Like, it would be trivial for you guys to team up and beat the shit out of me. I mean, I can address reality. It would feel good, though. That would be no problem for you guys. Should we mention I'm a man with large carriage, too?

Like, I'm a husky boy. You're both a large gentleman. We're big boys. Yeah, we're big old boys. Large of size, but larger of heart. Bullshit. Mundy is a very sweet man. Everybody loves you.

Well, I should tell you, I'm in the process of trying to de-bigify myself. Yeah. I had that sleep study done. And I went in and I've just been tired. I've never known not being tired. Like, I've never... What do you mean? I've never...

Like, it's just been my normal life to me. So, I went in, I had like a... I went in for a checkup recently. I was just telling my doctor some of my everyday symptoms and he was like, wow, you need to go in for sleep study. So, I went to the sleep study. It was like pretty much like a dentist. Like, going into a dentist's office or something.

Just like a plain office building in Culver City. And then you go up, you know, I went up to like the fifth floor and you go into a regular office and then they bring you to like an office room and in there there's just this comfortable bed and a TV and you can watch a little TV and then you sleep and they monitor you. And it's really a weird experience.

Yeah. I had never really experienced anything quite like it. But the girl told me she was like... She was actually kind of being nice. It seemed like there weren't that many of my types that went in there. She was actually trying to be nice. No, she was actually being nice to me. You're a human being.

Most people aren't like... Have you listened to this podcast? People turn on me immediately. You're so guarded with like... Oh, she was actually nice to me. I'm sure she was like, hey man, what's up? Oh, I'm glad. Let's get you to your weird sleepover. No, people hate me.

No, they don't. Oh, no, they do. It happens, they turn quickly on me. I get it too. So she was like, this is the deal. There's a bunch of different like masks for the CPAC or PAP machine. And like, you know, there's just like kind of normal two ones and then there's ones that go up to like a full Bane mask.

Yeah. And she was like, you might not even need one at all. And she was kind of being nice and it seemed like I might not need one. And she's like, two in the morning, I'll wake you up if you need one or not. And then she came in and she put on one of the gigantic Bane masks. I had like the, not the, it wasn't the highest level, but it was one that was over my nose and it looked like a Bane mask. And I slept and it felt good actually.

So I don't know, I maybe have sleep apnea. I don't know what I have. I'm definitely an insomniac. You're waiting on the results. I'm waiting on the results, yeah. How did she react to your trademark stroke of midnight when you wake up halfway through your sleep cycle and jack off? At least I don't shit my pants when I do it.

You shit your pants when you jacked off? No, I did. I had one time where I mistook a wet dream. What I thought was a wet dream when I woke was in fact a very wet bowel movement. So you confused something coming out of the front to coming out of the back while you were asleep? I woke up and I was very gross. I've discussed this story in a previous episode.

It's very gross. But yes, I woke up and I thought I had, I had the feeling, the sense of, the feel sense of a wet dream. And it was in fact a very stool Christ. Jesus Christ. Well, I didn't shit the bed, so she appreciated that. Did you whisper out? No.

Come on. Why not? Because, no, don't be crazy. I know. Even radio got love. Radio, the, the, the character? But to be fair, that's how I refer to me and my wife. Like, I'm her forest.

So, yeah. Well, I'm looking, yeah, I'm waiting for my Jenny. She's out there somewhere. She's probably in Washington on some acid trip on a balcony. Freaking out right now or something. She's probably been on the show and then you, you got mad at her because she didn't like Tom Brady. Well, she's got to like Tom Brady.

Also, my mom, I told my mom about this and she was like, she was like, your father and I always told, said, you slept too much. And it got me mad because I'm like, well, one, I was a teenage boy. And two, I don't know what the fuck it's like to sleep. Normally, I've never, I don't, I feel like I've never done it in my life.

I have no idea. I've had a lifetime of sleep difficulties myself. A lot of insomnia. I know Dustin, our producer, Dustin has it, has it worst of all. He's got chronic insomnia. It's, it's very, very crumbling. Get in there for a little sleep study, Dustin. You've done one?

Have you done one? Let's see it. No one's going to hear this except for, Dustin, it's not, it's never done one. You should do it. Yeah, you got to, you got to make sure you got a health insurance that, that allows it though, which is its own thing. But I, I did two sleep studies and the first one,

I was just sleepless the whole night. I could not sleep because it's, it's like you're saying, it's like trying to sleep in your dentist's office. It's a weird room. It's really weird. There's someone watching you, you know, like there's someone watching you while you sleep and you're hooked up to a bunch of, you know,

intensive care style tubes. Yeah. And heart monitors. It's very, very weird. And then the second time I was able to sleep for like four hours, they gave me a volume. They said they didn't have sleep apnea, but he'd have insomnia.

But yeah, it's, it's a really foreign weird experience. Money, how do you, how are you as a nighttime guy? You get a good night's sleep? Better than I used to be in a, with my wife, you know, like sleeping next to someone helps, I think. Yeah, sure. There's not me rubbing it in. This is just, no, no, cause it sounds like a dick move.

No, so like that helps cause she's like go to bed and I'm like, okay, yes, cause I'm a child. But like, you know, it's, I try to get like about, I'm up to about seven hours. That's good. Where is like a four? I was like four. Oh wow.

That's a good thing in college where I was up for three or four days and then slept for 20 hours. Oh yeah. And then I did that for a while. I knew a guy, there was a story of a guy in Quincy who did that. He stayed up for 72 hours. And then when like at the stroke of the 72nd hour, he went to bed and he slept for like two days straight or something.

Yeah, so. He was also on drugs. So I'm better, but I probably have major sleep issues compared to a normal human being. Sure. And then, but did you feel like a million bucks afterwards where you got some like. Real alert, I felt like the thing is,

is that it's screwed my sleep up for the rest of the week because they want you to go to bed at 10 p.m. and I go to bed between two and three. Yeah, it's really weird. In the morning. And so I am hardly an insomniac, but they say that that can come from sleeping apnea and stuff like that.

So that was the hardest part was just going to bed and then they wake you up at like 5.50. So like I had like four hours with, or like three and a half hours of that mask on, but like it still wasn't, you know, enough sleep or whatever for the night. So I've kind of been tired this week. My dad's weird as hell.

He goes to sleep around 8, 8.30 p.m. and wakes up at like 4.30. Yeah. And he's like just waiting for Home Depot to open and then just do that. My dad was, I think my dad like, and maybe this is the sleep apnea, but I need at least seven to eight hours to be functional.

I can exist on five hours of sleep. That's like kind of like my cutoff. If I get less than five, I'm a mess. But I need five or above and preferably seven to eight hours of sleep. And my dad was kind of like a six hour sleep guy. He wake up at like six in the morning and do sit-ups and push-ups.

I don't know how the fuck he did it. But, and I will never be like, I was hoping that I grow up someday and be like that, but I don't know if it will happen. I'm getting my old man period where it's like, if I sleep past 8.30, I'm pissed off at myself. Sure. Oh man.

I wish, see, I just can't get myself to go to bed. I haven't, even if I like don't sleep, like if I, if I don't sleep and then like I force myself not to sleep, then the next night I'll still just stay up till super late. It never, it doesn't change for whatever reason. But whatever, I'll be fine. I'm not planning on being on this earth much longer.

Yeah. I was going to say, Mitch, like if you need an incentive to go to sleep, it's the closest we can get in life to experiencing death. So maybe. Unless we start flatlining each other. That's true. Yeah.

I watch flatliners again and we could, we could start doing that. We could just like pivot the podcast to just flatlining, go to a chain restaurant and then talk about what death and the chain restaurant's like. Wager, you're up first. Yeah.

There's a, there's a flatlining joke in a pop star, the, the Lonely Island. Oh, there was. Yeah, there is. And it's, it's like such, it's like, that's, that was a thing, a reference. I'd seen that movie as a kid. I'd seen flatliners.

I think it was one of those R rated movies I rented hoping there'd be nudity in it. Yeah. And there isn't, but it is, it's like, it's a fucking weird movie. Oh, it's super weird. Plus it's like the only other movie besides a few good men that has kefir and bacon in it.

Yes. Which is special. And Julia Roberts, right? Young Julia Roberts? Young Julia Roberts, yeah. Yeah. It's real weird. I had a big crush on her.

Julia Roberts back in the day. Oh, well, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Anyways, moving on. Why not? Because she's taken, you know, it's just, I don't think I have a chance with Julia Roberts. Not yet. The people on this podcast know enough about me.

Now they know that I have to wear a big mask when I go to bed too. I want to move in. While you jerk off to Julia Roberts. Look, again, I think this is a love connection we can make happen. So if you out there want to voice your support for Mitch dating Oscar award-winning actor,

actress Julia Roberts, I use the hashtag, hashtag, Mitchy Woman. Oh my fucking god. And remember, Mitchy Woman. And remember, he's not just a spoon man,

he's a spoon master. That's true, yeah. Which, by the way, Wiger, I'm still worried that that's going to go to his head. And like, he's not going to be able to like, you know, the crown, the heavy crown will, they won't handle it.

Oh yes, this crown I wear as a spoon man is very heavy. I was going to say, since we were talking about sleep, are any of you guys midnight snack guys? Oh yeah, I'm a Husky overweight fellow. Really? I'm never midnight snack,

I mean like, I never wake up and I'm like, I want a snack or, I'd like, like if I wake up, I'll want water, or I'll want to drink some Gatorade or water, and that's usually it. I've never like had like,

the like, you know, like the 40s midnight snack where I'm wearing a nightcap and I go downstairs and like get a slice of cake or something. Yeah, the Homer 40 slices, or 64 slices of American cheese. See, I do,

I do assume Wiger, you know, calls his wife mother and has the nightcap. And then he has a perfect like, like cut cake with one slice already out. And he's wearing like the old Scrooge, like pajamas, like negligee bottom thing.

That sounds great. They should start becoming a pajamas man. There are for many of them anymore. Sure, if you can fit them up over here, it depends on whatever you're wearing after the accident. See, I figured you would be a pajamas, like the guy who like slowly puts on the pajamas and buttons it up and then it's very neat

and you're not just sleeping in your filth, like grabbing like me and Mitch. I'm a boxers and t-shirt guy. Yeah. Yeah, let us know. How do you bet it? Hashtag, how do you bet it? How do you bet it?

How's that? The problem is me and Mitch are boxers and t-shirt guy until like 3 p.m. and then we have to open the door for postmates to deliver for us. It's very funny that there was a scenario today where the mailman came and I was in my,

and you know what they were delivering? My Doe Boyz t-shirt that I'm wearing right now. The first day wearing this Doe Boyz t-shirt. I have a bunch of rashes on my back already. Now there's a, you know, there's a thing where if you wear the band t-shirt to the concert of that band, like that's kind of lame.

So like what degree of lame is wearing the shirt for your own podcast? I thought about this too. Look, Iron Maiden, they wear their own t-shirt. That's true. But KISS doesn't. Mm-hmm. But WWE wrestlers, they always wear their shirt.

That's true. Now granted, they're in like bikini shorts. So you have to do that. So if you, I have to wear bikini shorts to the taping? If you wear your shirt with it, yeah. And then you'll be exactly as cool as John Cena. But you should probably start wearing,

have you gone through a short phase yet? No, I don't really do shorts. I'm not like a big short, I know. Against the Fat Guy code. I know, yeah, because I'll wear shorts to a wedding. Yeah. Like, until I'm told not to. Like, it's shorts unless it's like a special occasion.

There was always the big guys who were, and not even big guys, just like there was always some guy who, like some guys who just would wear shorts like when it was snowing and stuff. Sure, yeah. I know this guy, Mack Glenn, back home. And he just wears shorts a lot of the time.

I remember him specifically like, when it was like 30 degrees or whatever. You throw him some dungarees, a Tommy Bahamas shirt, and some toms, and you're good to go. I need, I'm a, I turned into a jeans man, but I was khakis in college, which is very dorky.

You mean cargo pants? Yeah, cargo pants. Yeah, that's embarrassing. Well, I'm just waiting for him to come back. Cargo pants? Yeah, and then I'll be ahead of the curve for fashion in the first time in my life. I have exactly one pair of pants I just realized,

and it's the pants I'm wearing. Is that true? Really? Never mind, moving on. Alright, let's talk, let's talk food a little bit. So, Mundy, you're from Texas originally. Yes, sir. And how long you been out in California now?

Eleven years. Eleven years. So, what about, there's a question we ask a lot of our guests, but what about your hometown food do you miss? I mean, I mean, the assumption is barbecue, but anything in particular? Yeah, barbecue is great in Houston, but you can get good barbecue in Los Angeles.

Gotcha. There's a place in Culver City that has the best barbecue I've ever had. Wait, which place? Oh, shit, they just opened it up. But like, the place on, like, La Brea, right next to Melt, like... Bloodsauce or...

Bloodsauce, uh, bloodsauce is great. Yeah, bloodsauce is great. I mean, let's just go with bloodsauce. And then you can add that part out where I just forgot where I was. Uh, no, I've heard, there is a good place in Culver City, and I can't think of the name of it either.

There's a couple places, actually. I used to live in Culver City until I moved to Sherman Oaks. Gotcha. No, um... Baby Blues in Venice, and there's one in... Baby Blues is okay.

Yeah, it's okay. But there's good barbecue. You can get good barbecue everywhere. Like, I miss probably the most is, uh, Tex-Mex. Oh, yeah. Because, which is different than Mexican food, because it's worse for you. Yeah, uh...

Tex-Mex is really funny, because I don't know if I like it. We've talked about it a bit on this podcast. Do you like butter? I love butter. Then you should. Yeah, I mean, there's people who swear by it. Yeah.

And I'm like, have I just not had great Tex-Mex? Uh, there's a place called Home State out here, which kind of has Tex-Mex food. Yeah, I haven't... I've heard about that place. I haven't been there yet, but... They do, like, Frito Pies and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah, but like the big, like the staple of Tex-Mex is fajitos. Uh-huh, okay. Like, and then queso. Yeah. And queso's like the big thing, like, which is just melted like cheese, which is primarily velvita,

but it's still the best thing in the world. Queso is fantastic. I love queso. Yeah, and chilies, I believe, started in Texas. It's not really Tex-Mex anymore, but I mean, I think that was the original concept. Chilies is barely food.

Yeah. But like, it's like... It's like in 300 years, when we're like getting, like, 3D-printed food, chilies is what... Like, no, this is what they kind of ate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still earns three forks in my book, but...

Yeah. So, wait, so Tex-Mex, because I've heard this from some Texas expats, because California's famed for our Mexican food, and there are a lot of like the... Texas expats who think Tex-Mex is just superior, but they're kind of different, right? Like, California Mexican food is very, very different.

California is like flavorful, but it's also like, it feels like it's healthier. Sure. So, fuck it. No. Look, if you're not giving me just melted cheese next to the thing, then go fuck yourself. Yeah, queso fundido is one of my favorite dishes,

and I never had until I came out here. I don't know if it's necessarily a Tex-Mex dish, but it's just a plate of fried cheese. You've had it before, right? Yeah, and there's the... Actually, that made me think of... When Nick was saying it, it made me think of the movie Boyhood,

which is set partially in Austin, and there's a... Oh, well, there you go. But there's a scene... My dad beat the shit out of the kid. Like, he was just... No. No, it's weird.

I was at that game. The Astros game. The one they shot for the movie. Yeah, Jason Lane hit a homerun. So that would have been like four years ago, maybe? That was before, and I remember hearing that movie, because I was like, why are they shooting that? Like, I saw it across the street.

That was a big film nerd back then. It was my last year at college, and I was like, sit down. We're watching the game. We're building the Brewers. What an insane coincidence that that... Because that was the one week they were filming of that year for a movie that would come out in 2013 or whatever.

You know my problem with that movie? The happiness and the love that the family members have? That boring-ass kid's life. It really is a pretty boring life. What a fucking... I don't care about this fucking whack-ass kid. I don't fucking care about this guy at all. I like the family.

I thought the family was good. The family is great. The family is good. The family is great. Yeah, a movie about the mom probably would've been better. Way better. He just reminded me of a kid that I ended up bullying in high school. But he was the dick.

Yeah. I've said this about Link later. He kind of tries to have his cake and eat it too, which I guess you're supposed to do. I don't really know the meaning of that saying. It's a confusing idea, but I think the idea is that you would... I've had this explained to me before. You get to keep the cake, but then you can also eat it.

But you've already also experienced having eaten it. So you have the prospect of eating the same piece of cake later. Well, he tries to do that with being a nerd slash a cool guy. Sure. Link later is always like, I'm a part of the cool crew and I get you guys to do it, but I'm also a baseball guy and I hit home runs and fuck. It's not fair.

You can't be both. You get to pick one or the other. So you can't... Wait. You can't be the nerd and fuck? You know what? You can. You know my stance on this.

Nerds shouldn't fuck. And I'm a nerd and I uphold that. Look, I'll be honest. I have a problem with nerds. I kind of want to bring back bullies. Yeah. But not like cyberbullies, like beating people up for their raise or creed, but because they like...

They came to my goddamn party and I don't want them there. Like, I may have dressed up as Ric Flair as a party, got drunk, and then six goth kids crashed a party, and then I beat up the six goth kids in character as Ric Flair. It's not a thing I'm proud of, but it's a thing that I'm very proud of. It's not a little proud of it. Yeah. I'm very, very proud of it.

Well, we skate our intern away forever. Well, Weiger has this like Warcraft book thing that he just keeps next to him like a diary that I'm just really gonna answer. I'll come into play later. This will come into play. We've got a segment planned revolving around the very relevant Warcraft movie, which is now in theaters. Do you see Warcraft?

I haven't yet. Yeah. I'm excited to see it. I'm gonna go see it. I saw it? Not bad. It's, you know, I don't trust your taste at all. But is it as bad?

I mean, like, it's such a funny thing to me when movies are bad now, and I'm not gonna get into it. You know what? Maybe that would be my resolution, my half-year resolution. I'm not gonna fucking talk about Force Awakens anymore. I'm so sick of it. I thought it was pretty good. I'm checking our phone.

I know. I know you do. And also, I just want to go back on the bullying stuff for a second. It's smarmy, douchey, chess-holding people who deserve to be bullied. If anything, I think like what you're commenting on is more like nerd culture, people who have adopted nerd culture for the image of it. Nerd culture isn't nerd culture anymore. It's a different, weird thing.

It's just what mainstream film is. It's just like nerd culture and kind of, yeah. And I think there are still, I think, a lot of, I don't know, I would guess there are probably some really, like, actual nerds who are maybe a little under the mainstream affiliation of it. For sure. Yeah, they're probably on Reddit. Pissed off is all that.

But if you think about it, the nerds and even movies were bad guys. Sure. Like Revenge of the Nerds, they raped that girl. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. It's a real dark movie. It's really fucked up. It's not age-well.

They sell naked pictures of the people. And Karate Kid, Daniel LaRusso was just a piece of shit. Yeah. And then his old weird janitor friend beat the shit out of some, you know, nice guys in skeleton costumes. I don't know if they were nice, but yeah. But look, if someone like Italian comes and tries to steal my girlfriend, I might have words.

That's a good point. And also, isn't like one of the things that they show them, like show how they're being bad is like they're smoking pot or something. Like, isn't that like one of like the, their evil moves that they smoke weed? Yeah, yeah. I think that movie doesn't hold up well either. I think that's a... But queso.

It's good. Queso holds up through all time. Yeah. It will never, it will never not hold up. That's the biggest thing. And I don't realize, I don't get why L.A. has never had like a real Tex-Mex restaurant. Yeah. Because there's so many people from Texas.

You gotta try, you gotta try Homestay, but I mean like... Is that downtown? No, it's in Los Feliz area. Okay. Right by my house. Okay. Yeah, swing on by. We'll get some Homestay.

It's good. All right, pick you up. You put on some pants. Can I sit in the car with no pants if possible? Yes. So let's talk a little bit. I want to talk about this week's chain, but first we had another chain which we were initially going to do Monday.

We're going to do it up until yesterday and then we found out that the location in L.A. had shut down. ESPN zone. Or is it ESPN sports zone? What's it called? It's ESPN zone. ESPN zone. Which is just...

They closed it down. They closed it down. They went in L.A. live right by Staples Center where the Lakers, Clippers and Kings play. And since the podcast came out like a year ago, I was like, I'm going to do ESPN zone. They want to or not. We missed our window. I know. And that place had more TVs per sitting area.

I mean, I had TVs in the booth. Yeah. Multiple TVs in the booth. I had TVs in the shitter. It was just like... You would have hated it. You would have hated it. Weiger.

I went to ESPN zone. I went to the one in Vegas a couple of times. Yeah. Did they close that one too? I think from what I... They did. It's the same exact thing. It's like...

It's like FPS zone. Like they just... Oh, really? Okay. Like they just did one of those... It's wrong. It's a sunscreen eatery. Yeah.

There's a... Yeah. There's one left and it's in downtown Disney in Anaheim, California. So, you know, some distant day hopefully we'll be able to make it down there and record an episode before that one shuts down for good. But Monday, what is it about? Scott Van Pelton, Chris Berman and all the rest of them. They would have been a blast.

What about the ESPN zone was appealing to you and what are your memories associated with the shame? When I was a kid and they... That's when like the theme... That was... Everyone had their Hard Rock Cafe or Planet Hollywood. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I'm gonna go the ESPN zone.

Yeah. And like that would be the dream. And then my parents... I was like 15 or 16. My parents took us to Disney World, like which is a little old, but they thought like, okay, we're probably gonna get rid of them pretty soon. Might as well do one last trip. And we stayed at the ESPN hotel in Disney World, which I don't even know if exists.

ESPN hotel? Yes. And it was crazy. What the fuck? Yeah. And this was like 1998 where everything had their own hotels. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And restaurants like Funco, like Arcades probably had their own like...

No, but like it was ESPN hotel. What a boring fucking concept. Shut up! It was fucking kickass. I had three time crisis games, which me and my dad and brother spent the whole time just playing time crisis. But like, so like I always wanted to go to the ESPN zone. They didn't have one in Houston, but so we got to go to the hotel, which had like two

ESPN zones and it was best. Food's awful. Yeah. Just garbage food. But you know, it's like you're part of the ESPN zone family, which I was obsessed with the ESPN, still, you know, so what? When your phone rang, would it do the sports center thing? I had that for, yeah, for like six months in like 2000.

Oh, I met in the hotel, but oh my God. Just like I chose it. They didn't have that, no. But like... Well, are you someone who now, I mean like, my reputation has become that I hate everything on the show, which I've had to say multiple times. I love stuff and I want stuff to be good, but I will say I also now hate ESPN. I think that the channel's gone downhill and I hate them.

It's entirely deflate gate related. I mean, it is, but no, it is, it is, it is, it is. Hey, Skip Bayless is going to like Fox, so if that changes your tune. Uh, no, Skip Bayless isn't going to win me over to a new station. I mean, like, I like sports center. They created something with sports center that's good. If they even show the highlights of the game you want to see anymore, which is... Your teams of patriots, like every game that you have is televised.

I know, but I like the Celtics and Red Sox. Stop trying to think like the, like, you're from Boston, you've won 12 championships in the last like eight years. ESPN. Stop trying to have like a, like, like persecution, like, no one cares. Your quarterback's not going to play four games. You're probably going to win the Super Bowl despite them. Calm the fuck down.

ESPN. I like this energy. ESPN, I know you know this, that their pieces of shit, they have changed. They are bad. They've gotten much worse. I'm from Houston. They don't even know we have teams. Exactly.

They suck. I mean, like, I can't even get into it because I do like Scott Van Pelt for real. I do like Scott Van Pelt. I'm tired of this Boston persecute. You won three championships. You don't know real Boston people. Real Boston people are not those asshole college kids who are such dickheads and go to our city and then are fucking assholes on the street and riot and cause problems.

No, they're the ones keeping black kids from schools. No! We are a progressive city. We are, there are a lot of progressive people in the city. Yes, the busing incidents were very bad for Boston, Massachusetts. I agree with that, but we're not worse than the fucking south. Yeah, you might be as bad as Weigar's 1950, like, growing up, like, you know. God damn it.

Fuck this. Fuck this fucking podcast. Monday, you're supposed to be on my side, god damn it. I know, but I'm gonna take over, you know. All right. Fair enough. Whatever. ESPN sucks.

I like Scott Van Pelt. And hey, we're gonna see Bill Simmons really burn people on his new show coming up soon. Oh yeah, it might be out by the time, any given Wednesday. Any given Wednesday. It might be out by the time this episode ends. He's ready to burn some people. All right, let's talk about islands a little bit. So, islands, at what point, Nick, did you first experience islands, because they don't have it in Texas?

They don't have it in Texas. So, it was probably about two years being in LA. Okay. And then I had to go to, like, a general. Yeah. And they were like, the guy was a jokester, and I guess it was like, hey, let's go meet up at islands, because you're a clown child. Yeah, he was like trying to be random, is that kind of okay.

For those who don't work in the industry, general is when you meet up. I'm sorry, yeah. Yeah, and you meet up. Sounds like an asshole. Oh, with someone in the industry to just talk about whatever, right? It's usually... A huge waste of time. It's a huge waste of time.

Don't do them. And I knew that. And, like, the only kind of, like, time-to-chain restaurant that, like, LA had in the area was the Chili's at UCLA. And I was like, oh, it's not like LA was weird, because, like, I grew up where there was a Benningin's, a TGI Friday's in Chili's, like, on every other block, next to a Walmart. There was, like, just pockets of, like, these, what do you call these, like, type of restaurants? Like, the Chili's type?

Sit-down chains? Yeah, sit-down chains. There were just tons of them. Okay. And I noticed LA didn't have any. They had the one Chili's that used to be at UCLA, and they closed it down. Yeah. And then I went to islands, and I never knew what the Helen Islands was.

And then I realized, their islands is that sit-down chain for Los Angeles. Yeah. Because there's one in every... There's one in Sherman Oaks. There's one in Burbank. There's one in Culver's. There's one in, like, East LA. There's one in...

Yeah, there's one in West LA by where I live, one in Marina del Rey, just a little south of where I live. Yeah, they're kind of all over. So, it's weird, because, like, I was like, oh, this is LA's Chili's, is how I always referred it to. That's an interesting way to think of it. Yeah, it's... I think that's a great way to think about it. It's a really good way.

It's very accurate. It is, because I think you pointed out something which is, we've discussed in the podcast before, which is, there's a lot of fast food in LA. Yeah. But for some reason, the sit-down chains... The family restaurants. The family restaurants, which you'll see throughout Southern California, throughout California, the state, but LA itself, within the city, I guess real estate is just so expensive and

the city's relatively compact, even though things are still way spread out. There just aren't a lot of them. And I feel like LA would put places like that down. Yeah, sure. Like, I mean, it's like a fun thing. Oh, let's go to Chili's, and we have to go to Encino, and that's kind of like a joke. Yeah. Where I just want to go.

Yeah, the coastal elitism towards chains is a little annoying, and that's, I think, an annoying thing about both New York and LA. People get the little snobbery of looking down on these places that a lot of people enjoy. LA is funny, too, because they'll be very snobby to chains and fast food and stuff, but then they'll also like shitty places. Like, they're like, ugh, fast food and chains, whatever, and then they'll go get food at a shitty Thai place. You know what I mean?

I feel like... Or let's spend $25 on lobster rolls on a food truck that's just as bad. Well, that too. Yeah. There is great food in this city, and there are a lot of people who may take advantage of it. Oh, there's great food in this city. Yeah.

But sometimes you just want chicken zappers at your local family feedback. Yeah, exactly. I feel like there's that thing of people will be like, oh, chains or whatever. Like, oh, McDonald's sucks or whatever, but then there are also the type of people who will go to home, which is a restaurant you probably know, like in Los Feliz, and it's like, that place sucks. You know what I mean? Like, what are you talking about?

You pay $20. Fuck you, home. Fuck you. Home is our new sponsor. Fuck you guys just trying to make a difference. So your first experience, kind of this business meeting sort of thing, it was similar for me. The first time I had islands was a work outing.

I was interning at my company, my brother worked for, and the boss took us out for islands, and I was like, it's the same sort of thing of like, I'd always known it kind of existed, I'd always been kind of been around, but it's like, for me, it was surprisingly good, because you sort of see this chain restaurant, and then you get there and they're like, oh, the burgers and the fries and everything is like a pretty high level of quality, because I think they kind of have some focus in their menu, and what they do do, I think they do pretty well. Well, I like how they, I think they concentrate on the food because the decor still looks

like the same that it was in 1978. Sure. Like they still have the same surfing videos playing on the CRTVs on repeat. Yeah. Which is a weird, it does make it seem cheaper, right? Like the surfing videos. Well, the whole place seems cheap. Yeah, because it's kind of got, if you haven't been inside one, it's got this tiki aesthetic,

but it's not like a, it's like a kind of a low rent like hotel cabana sort of tiki. Yeah, they don't go full Margaritaville, that's for sure. And so, and they've got some sort of tacky, you know, surfboards. It very much feels like a bare minimum. Yeah, it's a bare minimum. Like just get some classic palm trees or whatever you call them. Sure. I don't care.

Well, as I've said on this podcast, I love the island aesthetic. I love, I love the, I wish I was on an island. If it was just me and the two kittens on an island, it would be a great setup. Oh boy. A lot to unpack there. Have you been to an island? I feed the little kittens coconut milk. No, no, I mean, yeah, I know I would die and probably eat the kittens and be a monster.

I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. People can say nice things. People can, it's like, I can ask you to pay me a child to go. I'm not dead. I'm sorry. Like calm the fuck down. I was just recently in Columbia.

I'm sorry. Wiger has put me on my edge. I got a, Oh, he's a piece of shit too. I got a task. The last episode we recorded was with Jonah Ray and I'm getting attacked left and right. And it's just not right. I'm trying to stick it.

I'm trying to bring it up. I know. And I appreciate that. I guess we've recorded two episodes since we had Jonah Ray on. Did we really? Yeah. Oh boy. Who is, who's the other one?

We had an episode with Jeff, Jeff Slonaker. Yeah, but that was actually recorded before Jonah Ray. You fucking asshole. All right. All right. Jesus. I could imagine you just sleeping through one. Wiger was, Wiger was wrong here.

That's, that's, that's me in a straight jacket going, Wiger was wrong. I think you needed, so you went to Columbia and almost killed you. I went to Columbia. I was sick for a month. I almost, I probably had Zika. But I, I, you know, I told you, you know, sailing across the, when it, when it turned into that crystal blue water and that, who sings that song sailing that I love so much? Christopher Cross.

Christopher Cross. Yeah. Oh baby. I was in heaven. That's a, that's a great song. I was in the island, I was in the island mood. I could have, I could move down there and, and uh, yeah, live with the little kittens on the little island.

Yeah. I know, I know it's dad rock, but Christopher Cross is all right. Christopher Cross is great. Do yourself a favor. Listen to the sailing. We're dad. We're going to be dads. No, you're at age.

I like dad rock though my entire life. I love dad rock. When we were kids, we probably saw 35 year olds and like, look at the old men. Sure. Yeah. So we're half dead. Could you not text, whoa, I'm on the show. I'm not texting.

How long ago was, how long ago was 35 for you, Wiger? I'm, I'm currently 35. Oh my God. I love everyone that I'm 50. You look awful. Um, yeah, no, I love, I love the island aesthetic. I was just thinking today actually that I would love to swim in a lagoon. I really want to swim in a lagoon.

I do. I want to swim. I'm trying to be open here. I want to swim in a lagoon. If I die, I want someone to spread my ashes in a nice little tropical, you don't even have to spread my ashes. Just dump the body into a lagoon. I would love to be just floating around in the lagoon for the rest of my days.

Yeah. Someone take care of you. Someone take care of the kids. Or we might just, just, you know, shoot your ashes with a t-shirt gun into an island's lobby. I like that option too. I, I, I love the bottom line is I love, I love the islands and like for that reason I want to love Margaritaville and I, and I gave it a decent, uh, during the, the, the

fucking awful Rocktoberfest. Yeah. When we reviewed rock themed restaurants. When we reviewed Rocktober 2015. When's your next stupid bullshit? Oh, there's always some stupid bullshit around the corner. They were talking about something the other day, man, and I'm not going to let it happen. That's all I'm going to say.

They, they, by they, Mitch, you mean me and friend of the podcast, Evan Susser, who consistently does more work planning this podcast than you do. Yeah. The four of us had dinner and, uh, it's clear he does more work. He was trying to like plate the food while me and you were just trying to jab it from them. Like. What is it?

He does more work. He comes and gets fucking meals. He got himself. Why does he complain about it? Why did he have to be at islands today? Because he's our friend. Oh, he's not my friend. I love Susser.

We all love Susser. Uh, so it's a, so tonight we went to islands. As you just mentioned, uh, the, the three of us plus friend of the podcast, Evan Susser, we went to the one in Burbank and yeah, it's got that, that nice sort of island aesthetic, like a little, little, little rent. Um, a little like the bare bones. I don't think that is not trying. It's not Margaret.

Exactly. It's just like, it's just doing like, okay, it reminds you of like a, like your dad just like, okay, here's enough of your birthday party. Sure. Yeah. Just, just, okay, just have it. We did the thing. Do you like Power Rangers?

Fuck it. I got some streamers and balloons. Jesus Christ. My experience with it, I worked at the Simpsons and they would order from islands occasionally and like the writers didn't like it. And it was like food that had traveled and was in the container and I was always kind of like, yeah, this isn't that good. But tonight was a nice experience.

I am, I'm kind of keen to that island attitude, even though it's not really there. But the food isn't, isn't terrible though, right? It's better than chilies. Like I had chilies the other day. I think it's better. Like it's actually decent, not garbage food. I think islands is good. Yeah.

I think like the, the level of quality of a burger from islands, which is what they're known for. It's what's in the name is good. I think it's a good restaurant burger. Yeah. I would go there for, I like going there for an ironic meals. Yeah. It's just, I will go there.

My wife Natalie and I will go and we will just go to islands just to go to islands. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I never do ironic eating. I feel like that's never a part of my thing. And, and, and I was, I was there questioning, do I just think islands is good? And I think I fall somewhere in the middle that I think I am more so on the side that it's good than it's bad. I don't think it's bad.

Yeah. I think it's really good. I like it. I actually really enjoy it. Let's, let's start talking about our food a little bit. All right. So we, Oh yeah, by the way.

Yeah. We never, we just never got a hashtag for it if you'd get midnight snacks. I just want to hear about it. Hashtag midnight special. That's all. That's great. Yeah. I want to hear if you, because I don't, I don't know if people still.

Remember guys, go back 30 minutes to when we talked about the midnight snacks. Listen, I have a bit of an obsessive compulsive disorder and I need to get things out sometimes when I, when I, when I, I like brushing past it. So we'd have to talk about what I eat at midnight. I wanted to know and you will tell us before it's all over, but I want to hear what the audience eats at midnight. I want to hear what they wear to bed.

Those are the two things I want to know. Do you wear a night dress like Weiger does? What do you, The fanciest night dress. Do you wear a night dress when Weiger is shutting down Christmas for all the boys and girls? I got this, I got this like, you know, Ebenezer thing. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I go to bed at midnight. Push it down the window. Sure. Yeah. I take a screen to the side. All right. So we went to islands.

I, I usually, I really like their, their cheddar fries and that was an appetizer I pushed for, which are island fries covered with melted cheese and scallions. Now here's the thing with islands. Can we just talk about the, okay. Yes. I just want, just real quick, islands used to not, they, they have endless fries. If you order fries as an appetizer, they will refill your fries. They used to not give you automatically fries with your burger.

So I got in the habit of ordering fries. And then in recent years, they've changed it. So they add, they give you fries automatically. Not only give you fries, they give you bottomless fries. Bottomless fries with your burgers. So there's kind of no reason to order the fries appetizer, but I wanted to get it for, for old time's sake. Well, it wasn't slathered in cheese.

Yeah. They, you just get regular fries. And then also I got the island not, or we got the island nachos collectively ordered, which are cheddar jack, jalapenos, tomatoes, refried beans, sour cream, guac, salsa with spicy chicken on top. What do we think we added? We added the spicy chicken. Yeah.

I just want to say this. Yes. You're like, we got there and you're like, ah, buddy, I really like those, ah, cheesy fries, buddy. And I was like, all right. And me and Sussie were like, sure thing, it's like, yeah, they're really fucking good, buddy. We should get them.

And I was like, okay. And then we ordered these cheesy fries and I looked over at you and you're like, mm, yeah, real good, buddy. And I was like, these are the most plain things. Why the fuck do you like those cheddar, they're nothing. Well, when I got there, like the first thing Wiger said was like, hey, buddy, we got these cheese fries. No, like, I'll be honest, like compared to like alpac cheese fries, which I feel like

are the Barack Obama, uh, that's a good thing, uh, despite the way I look at me when you say that's a good thing. No, no, but if you see a picture of me, I look like I'm like the biggest Trump voter. Sure. Because I'm like a guy in shorts with a big hat, like in a beard, but I'm not. Uh, no, but so they're like the top notch cheese fries that will kill you. Yeah. These are just like, they're okay, dude, they're a little like Hillary.

Oh, President Bill Clinton is a, this is the greatest of his presence. What was that, Bill? The cheese fries are a little bit like Hillary Clinton. How so, Mr. President? I'll take them down if I have to, but if there's some better fry options around, you know I'm going for them. Oh boy, that's awful sexist to say about her first female presidential nominee. And the first man, baby.

Okay. All right. Well, I guess you, Bill Clinton can say that, but I'd be worried about someone else saying it. Mitch as Bill Clinton is so much more confident and just endearing. Yeah. Like you just, like your shoulders were back. Like you don't ruin the, uh, that was.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I got to rock it off now. Oh, Bill Clinton's got rocket skates. All right.

I assumed they were just skates. No, it was a rocket pack. Okay. Rocket pack. Okay. Oh, I'm the fool. How foolish of me. Um, all right.

So, uh. Why do you like those? I like them. They're good. Maybe, I don't know. My wife and I, when we go to islands, we'll, we'll almost always get those cheddar fries. I like that they have scallions on them. A big scallion fan.

I think that's good. You know, it just, it seemed like maybe a nostalgia pick to me, but maybe not. It could be. I think if you get those with some ranch dressing for dipping, which I, which I didn't get, I should have, I should have asked for some of that. You cheap bastard. Yeah. That's real good.

But I don't know. I think they're very solid cheese fries. I love cheese fries. I'm not like cheese fries or plain fries any day of the week. Um, no, you know what? You just said, I love cheese fries like, like you just admitted, you know what, I like Hillary Clinton. Like, you're proving us wrong, man.

Yeah. Sure. You like cheese fries. That's not a surprise. Um, cheese fries. I actually, I, we've, I mean, and we talked about, uh, dippings for fries last week. Yeah. We got a lot of dry fry.

Yeah. Tweets us. A lot of dry fry people. A lot of dry fry people. Again, Mitch, like you're referring to an episode that was probably close to a month ago at this point. Yeah, whatever. Um, I do not, I, I'm, I'm rarely getting cheese fries.

I like to just experience the fry as it is and dip it in some ketchup. Maybe ranch. That's it. I don't like them slathered. I didn't ask because I want to be rude, but I was like, where the hell's a ranch? Yeah. I should have asked for some ranch. I needed, I needed some ranch.

But you know what? Okay. It was a little, it was, they were kind of, they were kind of dry. I think islands should provide ranch by default with those cheese fries. I think they'd solve a lot of problems. I don't think you should have to ask for them. I will accept partial blame, but I also accept, I also give some blame to our server for not saying, uh, do you guys want some ranch?

Cause I think that's the question they could ask. Um, okay. She's got a high school final to worry about. That's true. Our server was very sweet. She was very, very nice, uh, and accommodating I'll say. Yeah. Very accommodating service.

Lots of napkins. Um, so let's, uh, but let's talk about, uh, the, those, those nachos a little bit contra to the fries. Um, I was a bigger fan of the fries. Yeah. Me too. But I'm not a big cheese nacho guy. Yeah.

So like I'll just, I'll just pick a round. I was kind of mad. I didn't like our app choices. I want to get those fucking chicken strips or they, the Tiki, the Tiki, Tiki tenders, something T tenders. That's right. Yeah. You always go chicken strip.

I was late. I can make a decision. I threw it out there and I got fucking, I got two, it was two out of three, uh, one for the other one. Cause it was, Susser wasn't too into the Tiki tenders either, which is bullshit because he shouldn't even be there. Here's the thing. I think if you wanted those Tiki tenders, you shouldn't have added chicken to the nachos

because when you added the spicy chicken to the nachos, I think Susser and I were like, okay, the chicken's taken care of. Mitch, I think you need to tell Wiger right now that you want the Tiki tenders. I think you need to tell him, put your shoulders back, tell him with confidence, like a Tom Brady would, that you want the Tiki tenders. I wanted the Tiki tenders. You want the Tiki tenders. I'm crying.

We could have gotten the Tiki tenders. I would have been happy to eat them. We should have gotten the Tiki tenders. Uh, you did a bad job. Too many cheese options. There was just like a slatter of cheese. Yeah. A lot of, a lot of starch and cheese for, you know, we poorly made our app decision.

Yeah. The first day I took my cholesterol medication, today was actually the first day I took a cholesterol pill, which my mom was warned me about that it was going to happen to me on my 30s, and it had never been an issue, and then I went to the doctor and the doctor was like, oh my God, you need to be on medication immediately. So today was my first day of taking cholesterol, of my cholesterol pill, and I ate so much. This was a heavy meal. Yeah.

For sure. Which I feel like with islands, there are good salad options, which we can get into. I feel like you've got to go burger there. Yes. I think unless you're, you know, sometimes when I'm going, when we'll go there, I'll get like, we'll get the cheese fries to start off with, and then I'll just get like a salad for my main to, to lighten it up a little bit. And then Bundy made a similar calculation today, which I'll let him talk about.

But yeah, there, I think their best entree options are those burgers. I mean, that that's just what, I think that's the reason to go there. Yeah. They're, they're way, they're not too like greasy, they're like, they got, I like how they, I like to get a turkey patty. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I'm a big turkey patty guy.

Is there, was that a flavor reason? It's a flavor thing. Oh, interesting. It's a little bit more peppered usually. Gotcha. Like it's just, and it just became like a, like sure, I'll get a burger. Like I'm not a pussy all the time, but no, I'll just, I'll just grab a, I'm bullying myself.

Um, no, I like a good turkey burger. So if I was going to get a burger, I was, if I got a burger, I was going to get the turkey patty. Gotcha. Uh, what I got, can I tell you what I got? Yes, go for it. What I got, you probably would have been interested in, and I won't be able to say the name of it.

So Nick, do you want to help me out here with this one? I believe it's the, the Kilauea burger. Kilauea burger. Yeah. That's right. Kilauea burger. That's one of those things I just can't say. Hey, sometimes I just can't say some stuff on Kilauea is just think, uh, just think killer

whale, like the, uh, one you, uh, want SeaWorld to keep in prison. What? You, you protested against the movie Blackfish, right, Mitch? Mundy, I did not, don't let him turn you. I did not. I could see either of you doing that for some other bullshit reason. It's like, no, no, let's, let's get the, let's get the whale in there. Let's get the whale.

Someone did buy Jimmy Al, a friend of the podcast. Um, you're not, you're not un-rained man. Look, if you do more matching suits, I could have tell which one is Tom Cruise. You're not as handsome as right, man. Um, I'll say this. Uh, friend of the podcast, Jack Allison, got, uh, as a birthday gift, got, uh, uh, uh, framed, uh, stock of SeaWorld. Was it his birthday or a Christmas gift?

It was a Christmas gift. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, a framed, uh, piece of stock, uh, option of stock from SeaWorld, uh, that he, uh, keeps somewhere. Yeah. In the aftermath of the controversy. In the aftermath of the Blackfish controversy. He decided he wanted to go in on being a part owner of SeaWorld. Um, you know, uh, not gonna make a, not gonna make a comment on this one.

Yeah, I want all whales to be free. Why not? And, you know, Harambe got shot and was killed in, uh, in a... Were you cool about that? No, I wasn't cool that Harambe got killed. There's been a lot of shitty stuff this, what a year it's been. Yeah. A rough year.

A crazy year. The political skim, uh, landscape is a little crazy. Everything is gone. It seems topsy-turvy. I'm gonna just say this about Harambe. Like, I definitely had heard of him before the incident. Like, when, when everyone is grieving, I know it was everyone being like, oh, that gorilla we know about.

We've all been thinking about this whole time. I love that stance. You got the Kilauea Burger. I got the Kilauea Burger. Uh, I hope Harambe's ghost rips you limb from limb. Um, I got the Kilauea Burger, which is, uh, it's jalapeno and black pepper crusted burger. And it had, by the way, it had a really, really good peppered taste to it.

Uh, and that has pepper jack cheese, chipotle, lettuce, tomato, and island reds. Island reds, which is islands, um, they're, they're kind of like islands, like onion strings. Yeah. They're, they're onion strings. And so, uh, I had that when I added the bacon to it. And I also had a Mai Tai. Uh, and like I said at the beginning of the episode, I was a little loopy.

I could, like, I, like, it was a strong Mai Tai. I was thinking for a while that maybe you slipped something in there, Weiger. Um, Jesus. Um, I wouldn't have to pass you. Um, and- No, just riddling. Just to keep them on track. Uh, but that was a tall, that was a tall Mai Tai.

It was big. It was fucking big. And it was good. They did a good job with it. It was a tasty Mai Tai. It was really, really good. Uh, like, for, for our fast food restaurant, you didn't try it, but you tried it. Yeah.

I'm still sorry that, like, your straw went into my hairline. Oh, that's what I- I immediately put it back into my mouth and didn't care. You tried it. It was good, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm not a big Mai Tai guy. I mean-

I love Mai Tais. I'm a big Mai Tai guy. That's your favorite drink, right? Yeah. Mai Tai is my favorite drink. They did- They did a really good job for- I mean, like, not the best Mai Tai I've ever had, obviously.

Yeah. Not even close. But- But it was- And- And- And- And-

So, I think if you want a tiki drink, I think Islands does them pretty well. They're a little on the sweet side, as I feel like any chain restaurant drink will be, though you were saying yours was, was properly not too sweet, right? Mine was not too sweet at all. Was that sick? You tried it, Monty. Yeah. I was like, yeah.

Surprisingly not sweet. I would say, like, yeah. If you want that tiki drink experience, you're not going to get them a big tiki glass, because again, it's a little low rent. You'll get them in a standard cocktail glass or a, or a pint glass, but they're pretty good. I had the Hula IPA to drink, and that was very solid. It's a, it's a brood exclusively for islands, you know, as a fine IPA, if you blind, give

me a blind taste test, I would be like, ah, this is as good as any IPA, but it was totally fine. I think they have good alcoholic beverages there. And that's, I think, one reason why I think adults like it for workplace excursions. Monty, you got a couple of broodogs. Yeah. I was pissed that they didn't have Miller Lite, so I just slum it with some Coors Lite, like some type of savage.

Coors Lite is the beer I grew up on, and then I turned to Bud Light, and Bud Light is like my beer forever. But I know that that, like, as far as the shittier beers go. That's my, Miller Lite and Coors are my go-to for, I get mad when they don't have one of the options. Like, I'll do Bud Light or Budweiser, but like, a buddy, couple of weddings, Scott Gairdner, like he, he got me my own 30 pack of Miller Lite for his wedding. That's very nice.

That's like for just Monday, because I don't like fancy beer. How much of that 30 pack did you drink the night of wedding? Oh, that was about 18. Jesus Christ. I was able to do that at one point. I know guys like you, and I was still there. Yeah, I can't do it now. Like, I had the tall beer, which was like probably three beers, like three normal pints.

Yeah, it's a tall classic of you there. And then a small beer, but yeah, and that, you know, I didn't drive. So that's probably, but like, I'm a lightweight now, but I was the asshole who could like, at rugby parties, I would go to mark down as many beers as I had on my arm, and then I'd be covered with both. Like it's, this is not bragging because I hate myself from that. I think we had one party that started at two, and then it ended up to like four in the morning. I had like 40 beers.

Jesus Christ. And that was just one of those like. I can't go all day like that. See, day drinking is just destroying me. This was, this was like 12, 14 years ago. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I used to be able to like, before I got married, before like, I got in a relationship

and I just had to like, drink myself to sadness, even though. I have, I have, I'm not going to lie, I have, I have obviously, if you look at me, I've obviously had 18 beers a night before. And my, my thing is I just can't, I could, the numbers isn't, it's just the length of time. And then I eventually get tired. I just ain't feeling like shit. Yeah.

I know that too. But I've always been like, I grew up on like Keystone. Yeah. Okay. So like that was 30 pack of stones and then for $4. And then, you know, I graduated to Millerlite and Coorslite, but I just like a good light shitty American beer. Yeah.

I used to do this thing. I told Weiger about this just recently. It was, it was, it was a, and I, and I learned it from my buddy, Joe Aron, who I went to college with, what's up Joe and this guy, Tim, the night train, Kletzel in San Diego. They had this thing called the lineup and it was a, it was a pint of Guinness and then a shot of Jaeger and then another shot of Jaeger in a Jaeger bomb. And then, and then he, then he bought Bud lights for us. And so you're supposed to chug all over in a row.

And so I chugged them all and I chugged the Bud light. And I did it, I did it all in like under 30 seconds or whatever. And he was like, you're not supposed to drink the Bud light or whatever. And he was like, now it's a part of it. It's a part of this thing. And then I told people back home that I did this thing and Quincy and they used to pay for me to do lineups in the bar and stuff. Like a carnival trick?

Like a carnival trick. And my dad got wind of it. And he was like, you sound like the village idiot, you boy. Like he was mad at me. He was like, boy, you sound like the fucking village idiot. He was mad. Even though my dad doesn't sound like a weird Southern man. But, but yeah, no, I used to, I used to do drink.

I liked to. I did drink tricks too. I could still do it because my buddy's a sunshine, um, smeagol, uh, alphabet and, uh, and dozer. It sounds like I'm making fun of a bitch, but I'm not. I also believe, I believe all these friends exist. Um, dozer, especially. Yeah, I do. Sunshine's a good dude.

Um, no, but, uh, I can Teen Wolf a beer. What is that? Like, um, basically, uh, there's a movie, the movie Teen Wolf. Yes. I knew it. I knew this. Luke Michaels used to love it. Michael J. Fox turns into Teen Wolf.

He bit into it, like, because he has like animal teeth. Okay. Bites in the can and it sprays all over the place. It's a great, you don't know these fat guy party tricks, Liger. Hello sir, we're going to get like attention from girls, like, like riding on them with their huge dicks. I mean, they, they, the girls will also be grossed out by all this. Yeah.

No, but I could bite into, like, I can just, like, bite into a can and then beer sprays all over the place. Mm-hmm. And then, uh, what, what's your beer trick? I don't know. I don't have a, I don't have a beer trick. How about, uh, modestly imbibing over a, over a reasonable period of time, savoring every sip?

We should do a special episode where we just get drunk in my front yard and then Weigard takes us to like, you know, home and puts us in the bed. I'll do a lineup with you some at some point. Yeah, I would do it, man. My parents got one of it and that was not a good thing. Um, but, uh, sorry, this devolved into me and Mitch's, like, really proud stories of the fat. Well, you know, like, you, you, you, you, you have the, you have the, the big guy leader

quality and, um, uh, I, I, I'm more, I made, I made fun of Liger recently did a snarf of a voice for him, which, uh, a listener pointed out that it was supposed to be snarf, but I, I am kind of like, I'm a big guy, but I don't have, I don't have the big personality. I'm kind of like, I don't do whatever. Like I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I'm afraid of, uh, I'm afraid of being too outgoing and stuff. Yeah. That was kind of me growing.

Like, like, uh, I still would at times, but I didn't have shame. Unfortunately. I was the guy who was like, Oh, I'm sorry I did that last night. I'm sorry. I apologize for, I had a little bit of that, but I could be quiet too. It, it depended. Yeah. Mundy's, Mundy's a classic party animal and was, was a classic party animal has, has

things have tempered a little bit as he's, as he's aged and Mitch, you, uh, you kind of have the soul of like a 98 pound pip squeak. I'm also a party animal though. I'm, I'm hard to define because I, I love to, I like to party. I was a party animal on my day, but I'm also, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I mean, I'm also a huge pussy. I like, I'm afraid of, of, of everything. You got, you like, you could physically pummel like 99.99% of the male population just based

on your size. And yet you do, you do get very like meek and scared over the slightest prospect of conversation. I will say this is, this is a, this is a, 99.9% of the population aren't all like little wiger boys. I'm 61. Well in LA, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, I would say actually, I'll tell the story real quick, uh, Mitch, you and I were talking backstage at the upright citizens regained theater once and, uh, we were just having like a, like a random conversation while a show was going on. This was years ago. This was probably like seven years ago and, uh, you started feeling your head and then you, you grabbed something and you're like, oh, and, uh, uh, you held it up and it was just a chunk of glass and you said, like, oh, this just came out of my skull.

I was like, what the fuck? Like I was like, what the fucking talking about? I was like, oh yeah, someone broke a bottle over my head three years ago and every so often a piece of glass emerges from my skin. This is true. Uh, speaking of islandy paradises, I was in a ruba and my, and, uh, you didn't kill that girl. Did you?

Crazy enough. I was at, I was at the same club that girl went to later, like a few years later. I think it kind of Carlos and Charlie's. I think it was. And, uh, this is the second year we went, we went like a couple of years in a row and a couple of my buddies got into this confrontation and, and, and there are these kind of drug dealers. They weren't drug dealers for sure.

Um, and they were, they were talking to these guys and then it kind of started getting scary. And I started walking over cause I'm a party animal, but a coward, so I was, I was, I had been partying, having a good time, you know, and then I, but I was like, let's get them out of here. We'll pull them away. And as I was walking over, uh, about 15, probably 15 feet away from me, actually more than that, probably like 30 feet away.

He was, he was, he was quite a distance. This guy had a mug and it was one of those thick bottom. Oh sure. And he just wound up and he got great aim. And luckily I was wearing a hat. He nailed me in the head. And what I think happened is that my head burst open and then the glass shattered. Like it was like getting hit with like a, it was like getting like a rock or something

thrown at your head, but then also the mug shattered. And then like a, all of a sudden I just felt blood pouring down my face. Uh, and I like touched my face and it was just covered in blood. And this girl I was with Kelly Rose was like, are you going to die? And I was like, how bad does this look? And I didn't know. And so we went and we watched, we, we walked to this Arubin hospital and we, we went in there and they were like nonchalantly watching soap operas and we were like, uh, I'm like,

I, I got hit or whatever. My buddy Joe split his lip open like the Joker and, uh, Joe tore me. And then, uh, they rascal, he's a rascal and they, they did, uh, they, they, they stitched me up and I was like, oh, set to go. And then a year later I was in school and I was like, oh, my cut is scabbing up again and I was rubbing at it and, uh, a piece of sea glass pretty much fell out of my head. It was the glass from the, uh, from the, uh, mug. They had been, uh, stuck inside my head and had, had, had, you know, softened with time

and, um, it's worked its way out on his head. And the same thing happened with Nick, which that was the, that was maybe the last time it ever happened. Now that you say that, that was like the last time glass ever came out of my head. Oh, I'm your good luck charm. You're my good luck charm. Now I got to bring up something about Weigar. So we were talking the other day and I was teaching him the history of UFC.

Yes. And I don't know if you notice Weigar online, but he's a little serious like just devoid, it's just devoid of just, you know, personality online. So it's like a little bit just like talking to a bot, um, but you were talking about like fighting and, uh, it sounded like, I told you I'd get them. That's, that was good. But you, let's keep going. All right.

We're going there. Um, you talked about like, you kind of want to pay someone to kick your ass. Yes. Like you've never been to a fight. I, I've been like elementary school fights. It doesn't count. Okay. Um, yeah, I don't know.

I think you want to fight someone. You just want to get the shit kicked out of you. Like some like erotic, weird thing. It's not sexualized. Like I don't want to get like, like spanked by a dominatrix or anything like that. I'd be too embarrassed for that. But I would kind of be into, I would kind of be into, and maybe that was, this is the mission statement of this podcast ultimately is that I like, it's on some level, I want

Mitch to beat the shit out of me and I'm hoping that eventually it will reach that point. But no, I don't do anything. I'll punch you like eight times and then all of a sudden I'll be like, he's coming with the. But, um, you come too, because like, no, no, this is how it happens. He beats you, you come and then you get, you say thank you and then that's the first time he said a nice thing to you and then you come and then, and then you just stretch in your pants and it's just going to be weird.

I'm going to go. Um, all right. Yeah. No, for me getting like, I just like the, the invigorated, I feel like there's something invigorating about getting beaten up, like not fatally, but like just kind of like roughed up a little bit. I'm not, I'm not, as much as you make fun of, I'm not a fighting man. Actually, I'm not, I don't think I'm tough, but I am physically large, but, uh, I don't

like fighting and, uh, uh, but I do hope someone kicks your ass. I think that would be great. All right. Let's, uh, with the time we got a level, let's talk about the, the, our island's mains real quick and get into dessert. So I got the big wave burger that was, it's, it's on the menu. It's the burger that started it all. Let us tomato, onion, pickles, mustard, American, uh, cheese, very simple burger and, um, very

good. A very good execution of just like that sort of basic classic American burger. The absence of ketchup, uh, and the absence of any sort of spread, just basic yellow mustard is the only sauce, the only condiment. I like that. I like it a lot. I think it's, it's just like it's stripped down, uh, and, and it's, it's presented well. It comes on a whiter wheat bun.

I got mine with some onion rings on the side. Onion rings. What type of buns did you get? White bun. I got a white bun as well. Yeah. Their buns are good. Who'd have thought?

Burgers are good. Burgers, good quality, good condiments, good produce. I really enjoyed it. And Monday, tell us about your salad a little bit. Yeah. I got the jungle Caesar with grilled chicken, romaine, Parmesan cheese, croutons and Caesar dressing. That was my wiger.

Um, in 1932. Uh, no, and the thing was, um, I was planning on getting a burger, but I'm trying also not to die. So like once, once the cheese, cheese fries were, uh, you know, written in stone, uh, I, I went to town on those. So I got the Caesar and it was damn good. Yeah. They do a good salad there.

It looks good. So like I've kind of done every Caesar salad almost in Los Angeles. I feel like, like, you know, I, uh, I started dating my, uh, then girlfriend. And when you date in Los Angeles and you're a fat guy, you don't want to eat in front of them to show them like your shame. Yeah. I don't want to see a girl see me sweating as I was out. Yeah.

So you get a lot of salads, right? Yeah. So I got a lot of salads, me and, uh, DeLar dated a long time. So I would get salads and I was like, okay, I know what a good Caesar salad is now. And this is damn good Caesar salad. They had like pepper. The croutons were also good chicken. Um, it was sliced nice if that's, yeah, it was just a, it was, I was surprised by it

because I even asked the waitress, I was like, is this worth a damn should I get the burger? Yeah. And then she was like, it was pretty good. And then you could, you could, she's taste any anchovy in there or was it kind of a, no, there wasn't. I don't think there was any in there. Yeah. Which I don't like.

I'm not a, I'm a picky eater, but I don't like anchovy. All right. Yeah. But yeah, no. So I like a, like a good American. See yourself. Evan Susser had a Hawaiian burger. We know that.

Yeah. And with fries, with fries. And that Hawaiian burger's got teriyaki sauce and pineapple on it. It's a lot of, it's a lot of sweet, but it's a, it's a yummy burger and he seemed to enjoy it. Although he did mention that, um, uh, uh, while I craved the sweet, this is his quote, I ended up finding it way, way too sweet. So it's, it's, it's pretty, it's pretty overwhelming.

You should have gone with a Hawaiian burger. I agree with you. And I'm a big fan of the Malibu burger, like the, uh, the chicken, the cheese bacon. Yes. Yeah. Burger, that's, that's a good one. That's what I would have gotten. Yeah.

But, um, yeah, as soon as they told me I could have some of your, uh, endless fries, I was good to go. Yeah. Yeah. But the fries also came with my meal and then they did bring us some of the endless fries, which is great. Is that a new thing? Do a lot of restaurants do that?

Or is that specifically islands? I know Red Robins does it too. Yeah. I think islands, it's not every chain, but islands is, is definitely one of those few places that offers, uh, refillable fries. And they also have an endless bowl of tortilla soup, which is pretty crazy. Sure. Um, all right.

Let's talk about that dessert a little bit. So we had that. Yeah. We were about to wrap up and leave. And then I said, hold on, let's get this, let's get a dessert. And it was a great move, I think. It was very tasty. Uh, we got a, uh, we got the chocolate lava cake.

Yeah. I loved it. I thought I was scared. I love a chocolate lava cake. This one was funny because it was like, it looked more like a brownie. I thought, I thought that they had just messed up. And brought us a warm brownie, which maybe they did. I mean, but like, but then it was hot and it was, I think that there was fudge in there.

Yeah. There was some fudge in there, but, but ice cream. It didn't bother me because it's still tasted good. Very yummy. It wasn't like one of those things that where you break it in there, in the fudge comes out or, you know what I mean? Like, uh, it wasn't like a, to me, it wasn't technically a lava cake, but whatever. Yeah.

I remember my college roommates, shitty girl friends had a birthday at islands and, uh, we, like we got that chocolate lava cake at a dessert and it was just like the whole night was, was annoying because she was super annoying, but that chocolate lava cake was a standout. Um, what'd you think? Uh, what'd you think, Mundy? Yeah, it was good. I'm not a like huge dessert guy, which is a, I'm sure a huge surprise for anyone who

ever saw me. Um, no, I thought it was good. Yeah. It was good. Like, um, uh, I, if I go with the dessert, I want like a hot brownie, chocolatey ice cream thing. But like, but yeah, no, it was a whipped cream, vanilla ice cream, and, uh, there's some nuts on top of doing a cherry.

That was too much whipped cream. I'm not a big whipped cream guy. Yeah, you're right. It was kind of, I like the whipped cream, but there was a lot of it. There was a lot of it. And there was, and there was some fudge drizzled all over it too. It was, it was, it was, it was good though. It wasn't, it wasn't bad and it wasn't great, but it was good.

Try that Caesar salad, the cheese fries and the brownie kind of, or the hot lava cake really just fucked that up. Yeah. We sandwiched your salad with some very shitty food. I should have just got that like triple burger. Let's get to our final thoughts on islands. So, uh, Mundy, sort of give us your, your closing argument and then give us your fork rating from one to five forks.

Look, look, it might look like a retired, like, you know, it might look like a bad, like third grade teachers, like trying to make Hawaii party room. Like everything might be just like GIF art, but it's great. It's actually like a pretty damn good restaurant. If you want a good burger, like, and just not a pretentious bullshit place, you know, like Ventura Boulevard, which there is a chill, like there's an islands on Ventura. Sure. No, it was good.

It's like, it's, it's better than what you think it is. And I think it's better than most sit down chain type restaurants. Yeah. So is it up to four? Up to five. Out of five forks. I'm going to give it four. Four forks.

Very good score. Go ahead, Mitch. Um, I really, I, I really enjoyed my burger. I was sitting there and I was thinking, is this place, is islands good? I don't know. I enjoyed the burger. Like I said, that I had a nice peppery taste to it. It was everything I was expecting to be.

It just, it was just well put together. I liked the bun. The fries were good. And I especially liked the fries. I didn't like Weigar's weird fries, but I liked my fries. I like the fries. And I'm a, I'm a well, well done fry guy. Yeah.

And that's what they do. And they were, they're great. Um, I, I, I, I enjoy the, the more just the plain fries than I did the Weigar's dumb fries. Um, but, uh, uh, and the dessert like we just went over was great. My tie was good. There, I, it's, it's undeniably that the, it's undeniable that, that the food was good. I think that their islands just had kind of this thing of being a joke in my head for

so long. And when I would go there and get stuff, I went to the original islands when I used to pick up islands for the Simpsons. Oh, by Fox, is that the original? Yeah, I believe so. Right? On Pico. Yeah.

Okay. And also you said the first Tiki, that's not true. I didn't say it was the first. I just strung together two disparate things. Okay. Well, whatever. Uh, boring intro. Uh, and, uh, uh, the, the, the chocolate lava cake was great.

Uh, not great, but good, very good. And the Mai Tai was very good and nothing, nothing was great, but the burger, burger was probably the thing that was closest to great. And the fries were the, another thing that was kind of close to great. Um, I also had a diet coke and a water just to let people know. And, uh, and I just, I just don't know if I can go full four forks. Even though I, I, I did really enjoy the experience. I liked the island theme, but they kind of, it is kind of cheap and they, they kind of

half acid, but I'm going to give it a very enthusiastic three and a half forks. Good score. I, I, I really liked islands. It was good. Great. Um, I'm with, uh, I'm with Nick in that they, they kind of like the theme isn't fully there, but I feel like they do just enough. And I feel like that's the thing of like islands, like they're very, go for it.

And they've kept it. They've kept it. Yeah. They still, it's not like they've like, well, we need a Chipotle and just do exposed brick and stuff. Yeah. It still looks cheesy as shit. They maintain that sort of like, it kind of feels like something that belongs in Disneyland,

the interior, but they've just committed to it and it's just their aesthetic. And I like it. It's very comforting. And I think they, they do just enough to differentiate themselves from other chain restaurants. They're like, we're the burger place that also is kind of a Tiki bar. And it's like just enough to make it, to give it a little something. I think the food is good quality. I have a great time every time I go there.

I defend those cheese fries. I think they are very tasty and I really enjoy their burgers. I really enjoy their, their array of salads, uh, as lighter fare. I think they've got good cocktails, good beers, uh, good bar area, good dining area. I'm gonna say four and a half forks, four forks two times. Wow, we walked the ladder on that one. We did. We did walk the ladder and also we're ballpark buds on the same, same proximity.

That can be any score. By the way, did you wear these mermaid socks, uh, because it was islands today? No, I just happened to wear these. These are some new things I got from J Crew and I think they're pretty snazzy. Those weird ass. At least she's, at least he's wearing socks. I am wearing socks. I'm talking about me.

Oh, oh. Oh my God, you're right. I am defensive. Yeah. Fuck J Crew. It's the size of store and why you're used to not shop there. I'm guessing when he's a big fatty. I agree with, I agree with Mitch.

They should offer some larges. I am with you guys. They should offer some larges. It was not only, not only did they not offer like, like it was like 36 or something, their waist went up to you. Yeah. I'm like, even when I'm in good shape. The best shape I've ever been.

I was 36. I was, yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you, J Crew. Fuck J Crew. Fuck J Crew. You shouldn't shop there. You're a fucking sellout Liger.

It, uh, it angers me that you shop at J Crew. I shop there as does, uh, our good friend Joe Saunders and we, uh, we'll discuss coupon deals. How often do you guys get fucking confused with the mannequins? Do people, do people hang stuff up on you and Joe when you go in there? That's not fair to Joe. Joe's a good guy. No, he's a mannequin.

Also, I just want to say that was, that was, I've been dieting in that island's meal and also maybe because I took this cholesterol medication today, but I am sweating. That was, that was, it is a heavy meal. You can eat very heavy there if you want to. But I think it's worth it. If you think like compared to TGA Fridays or Chili's, which are their, their competitors, you're going to feel like we all didn't shit ourselves afterwards. Yes.

Yes. It's, it's that, I'll put it in that weird category of light heavy where it's like you already are eating this stuff and you're like, I trust this food and it's, it seems well made and it seems like it's fresh, but it's, it is, it's, it's, it's a lot. It's a higher level of quality that I think makes the indulgence more worth it. Um, all right. That was, that was islands. Uh, now it's time for a regular segment.

We've got a food stuff and we're going to determine if it's worth putting in your mouth. It's snack or whack. Now, Mundy, you mentioned this earlier. This is our snack for this week. It's Warcraft Battle Blend. Um, you saw this over on my music stand. Um, it's from some nerd cards.

It's, they're not, they're not nerd cards. It's a nerdy candy. And we've got two different kinds of, I believe this is two different kinds. We've got hot tamales and Mike and Ike within the same box and you've got red for the horde or blue for the alliance. So orcs are humans. Oh man. I'm going to open this up.

I have mad thing because I love Mike and Ike's, but I hate hot tamales. Oh, what the fuck? So this is just two candies mixed together, right? I believe these are a different, I mean, I think they are uniquely made for the Warcraft movie. Um, the blue symbolizing the, uh, heroic alliance, Jesus, the red symbolizing the villainous, but a morally ambiguous horde, led by Gul'dan, the shaman. Really?

One, two, three. There we go. Oh, good toss. Thank you. So you are not worthless. I'm having... I'm kind of like Richard Linklater. I can, uh...

All right. Oh boy. This is gummy. Oh, the red ones are great. Nope. Another hot. They are... The blue one first.

They are like hot tamales, right? But it's like a fruity hot tamale. It's just not all hot. Yeah. There's kind of... I had the blue one first and it's kind of a, as you might expect from the visual character, it's kind of a blueberry, um, with their flavor. With all hot.

I don't get hot from the blue. I don't get hot from the alliance. Yeah, that might be residual. I'm trying the horde now. Which is bright red as opposed to the... All right. I like the blues. Oh yeah, I'm getting a little spicy on the blue too.

Yeah. I'll get it on there. There's definitely more from the red though, right? Mm-hmm. I mean, the red is more like the... They're both fruity and hot at the same time. Yeah. Let's look at this about Mike and Ike's and Hot Tamales.

Listen, one of my favorite candies is gummy bears. I love gummy bears. These things just get fucking stuck in your teeth too much. Yeah. The tooth factor is rough. I'm gonna try two of... Two... One of each flavor right now at the same time.

Ooh, good, good idea. This is like a... I'm doing a blend. They're the same flavor. This is like Anduin Lothar. And who is the other orc? Anduin Lothar and Duritan doing battle, having both in your mouth at the same time.

Oh, sure it is. Was it worth it? Mm-hmm. You know what? They kind of just sort of blend together. I kind of like them together more than... They're good together actually. Yeah.

I said together is better than apart. Hey, maybe there's a lesson there for the Warcraft universe that instead of fighting over Azeroth, perhaps you should team up. Just like you do. To the commonality. Yeah, hey, all right. No.

I'm guessing I'm the orc in this instance. Orcs are confident. I'm saying this shit to get... Like, I'm doing what my dad did to me. Like, just yell at me until I... Why are you crying and saying you hated your dad outside? Yeah, well... I was pumping myself up.

I enjoyed the movie Warcraft. I think it's flawed, but interesting. I think there's probably a two-hour and 40-minute cut that's a little better than the very tight and brusque two-hour cut. Oh, you want a 40 more? You're like the guy who wants the long Batman V Superman movie. I would. I would actually admit to that, too.

Yeah. You came to the wrong podcast. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, Mitch and I disagree on Force Awakens, but we're both mild apologists for Batman versus Superman. Really? Yeah. I think the...

This is, as far as snack or whack, as far as both a snack in the abstract and as far as a characterization of the Warcraft movie and the Warcraft lore in candy form, I'd say this succeeds. I'd say it's a snack. What do you guys think? I mean, ideally, yes, it's a snack. Yeah.

But I'm not gonna get these again. So I'm gonna say whack, personally. I like that movies are having their own specialized candy now. Yeah. But these suck. Whoa. Yeah, wow. Here's my problem.

I just don't like that type of candy, like the weird little weird tube fucking candy. What is this? See, I love Mike and Ike's, but I hate hot tamales, and they're a little hot. I don't want hot candy. It's not... When you want candy, it's supposed to be sweet.

Yeah. Mike and Ike's, I don't know. They're just too... They're like a... They remind me of like candy anti-matter or something. It's like chewing into them. Does that not make sense? No, I got you.

It just seems like a condensed, sweet, weird thing that's in like this little pill form. And I don't like the texture of them. I like gummy bears so much more. The gummies, they're chewy, and you can move them around. And these things are just like... Like killing small things at you. These are just kind of...

Mike and Ike's... I don't hate them, but I just don't... I don't love them. And I don't like Mike and Ike's and hot tamales mixed together. So whack, but I think you're right. Ideally, it does work as a candy, right? Sure. Snack...

I'm gonna give her snack for the aesthetic. Trying to make as much money for a shitty movie as possible. I'm all about it. I'm all about it. All shitty movies need their own candy. Give Warcraft a chance. So what is that? My final vote is whack.

I'm snack. I'm whack. Something Monday is whack. So split decision. No, it's whack. It's whack. Yeah, perhaps like the Warcraft movie a little bit more good than bad, but I...

I were a little more bad than good, but you know what? Fuck it, I'm an apologist. All right, just like a restaurant without your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Anita Rudikoff. Anita writes, I recently came across a relatively new McDonald's campaign, Create Your Taste, which allows customers to customize their burgers

from the bun to the toppings. I'm wondering what your views are on complete customization? Should the public be allowed to curate? Or should chain stick to controlling the ingredients? I worked at McDonald's during high school and from my experience, this seems like it would make the ordering process far too long and complicated. Ooh. What are your thoughts on these upscale ingredients?

Wild rocket leaves, guacamole, grilled pineapple rings. Very fancy for a place that serves Big Macs. Wait, that's at McDonald's? Yeah, apparently, yeah. Whoa, wait, what have rocket leaves? What the fuck? Yeah, some crazy lettuce blend, I assume. I haven't had this burger, this Create Your Taste.

Mundy, is this the thing you've experienced? No, I haven't. Yeah. What do you feel about customization to this degree? I think it's too much. Like, I'm a very picky guy who doesn't like tomatoes or onions in my burgers. Sure. But like, I like being able to just like, hey, do this and then it happens.

Yeah. But like, I don't feel like, it's kind of the antithesis of what you want. Like, you got in and out and where it's like, you don't have like that much customization. Let's just crank shit out. But honestly, if you're going to, the bigger issue is, if you're going to McDonald's, you want shitty food. Sure. You don't want to get like an artesian, artesian, like burger.

Yeah. Yeah. So just make the shitty food, but make it less shitty. Like there's a balance between like using like chicken dicks for chicken nuggets instead of like actual chicken. Sure. Here's, I mean, we've talked about this, but I go to McDonald's because I like McDonald's. You know what I mean?

Like, and I think you're right, except I disagree in that they have to make their food better. Quality is always important to me. Like as far as like the quality of the actual meal you get there, like I don't want it to be better. Like just use beef burgers instead of like, you know, that's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But if I have a really good McDonald's meal, I'm like, oh, that was great.

I really enjoyed it. I agree with you. Like guacamole and all that sort of stuff. Like I don't need, like I don't need McDonald's. It's a little too much. I do like that they've just recently done a thing where you can get like a double quarter pounder version of a Big Mac, like a much bigger Big Mac. Oh really?

Yeah. That's pretty cool. I just, I just think with all these options, it seems a little like the rocket lettuce blend or whatever. The people that want rocket lettuce blend aren't going to McDonald's in the first place. Oh, I thought it was rocket. It was rocket. It is rocket.

Either way, it doesn't make any sense. That's what I got up here. Up where? Up where? Oh wait. You mean use your jet pack? Is that what you're referring to? Okay.

All right. All right. Well, safe travels, President Clinton. Perhaps the first President Clinton. Perhaps all the second one pretty soon. Oh yeah. That's going to be exciting. Yeah.

Oh, would you just drop character abruptly? Well, Nick, it's also me, Mitch, who's here with you in the studio. I'm sorry, Mitch. I'm sorry. Yeah, Bill Clinton got out of microphone range and so you answered on his behalf. Yeah, that's right. Okay. All right.

He's chugging down Warcraft Candy. Yeah, I agree with you guys. I mean, this thing you've talked about before, Mitch, of just like, you go to a place, you kind of, I want them to give me what they think is best. I don't want to have to make so many decisions. I like a little customization, but not every single component, right? That's too much. That's too much.

All right. Especially when you get, listen, when you get to the late night lines at McDonald's at the drive-thru, which is like, I feel like McDonald's money maker now is those trunk drivers driving through their drive-thru. That's where you sober up. Yeah. I mean, nothing. And their lunchtime crowd, like when you got those lines, you're going to be in trouble

with all that customization stuff. Yeah, exactly. You're going to lose business. That's a wrong approach. If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain Restaurants, you can e-mail us at doboyspodcasts at gmail.com. Check out our Facebook page, Do Boys. Follow us on Twitter at doboyspod.

And if you have a free second, rate and review us on iTunes. Nick Mundy, thank you so much for coming here. Thank you. How many e-mails have you guys just wasted out of the Gmail server? I think most of it at this point. Thank you for coming on. I hope I wasn't too much of a dick. Well, you're fantastic.

I wish you made fun of Lager more, but we're going to have you back and we're going to have a little game plan. We're going to give it to him good. Thanks for letting me do a self-indulgent drop to those. Highlight of my life. Well, that's great. You're a lovable guy and we're going to have you back at some point soon. You guys are sweet boys.

Nick, do you have anything you'd like to promote? No. I do a show on Screen Junkies Plus called Monday Night Raw. So if you like stupid, silly crap, we had Mitch on. I have those on there. He talked about how he was going to die. Our fan base is primarily 15 to 25-year-old movie nerds. And now they're worried about their waking life because Mitch scared them to all hell.

All you had to do was talk about the TV show you were on, but you just talked about how you want to die. Hey, they needed that wake-up call sooner or later. Also, this is officially a link-later podcast, Waking Life, you said, right? Yeah. Isn't that a link-later thing? Yeah, it is. It's the dry one.

Yeah. How boring of me. So yeah, and then I'm on Dick Fundy on Twitter if you want more bullshit. Awesome. Well, that'll do for this episode of Don't Boys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya.