Doughboys - Ivar's Acres of Clams with Mookie Blaiklock (LIVE)

Episode Date: June 23, 2022

Mookie Blaiklock (YOU ARE WORTHY with LilMookieB) joins the 'boys to discuss their thoughts on seafood and their flight to Seattle before a review of Ivar's. Plus, another edition of Let Me Be Frank. Recorded live at the Neptune Theatre in Seattle 6/11/22. Sources for this week's intro: https://balladofamerica.org/old-settlers-song/ https://www.historylink.org/File/2499 https://www.eater.com/2019/6/5/18642684/ivars-seafood-seattle-history https://nordicmuseum.org/exhibitions/keep-clam-and-carry-on-the-ivar-haglund-story https://www.ivars.com/our-storyWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig in to your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on

all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. I've wandered all over this country. I've wondered all over this country. Prospecting and digging for gold. I've tunneled, hydraulic and cradled. And I nearly froze in the cold. So begins the first verse of old settler's song, a folk diddy dating to the 1870s that tells of a burned out prospector who eventually finds happiness

by the ocean in the Pacific Northwest. Seattle is a city known for its musicians, from Jimi Hendrix to Dave Grohl to Sir Mix a lot. But while others may have achieved influence outside the city, within its limits, few were more iconic than a local yokel who adopted old settler's song as his personal anthem. Born in Seattle in 1905 to a Swedish father, Johan Hoglund, a Norwegian brother, Daisy Hoglund, the young Hoglund set off on an eclectic multi hyphenate career as a folk musician, radio show host, owner operator of the city's first aquarium and eventually, restaurateur. Hoglund opened the first of his restaurants on the side of the aquarium a year after World War II, a sailor themed eatery with a playful

vibe that extended to its ponderful motto, keep clam. The aquarium would close but two more sit down restaurants would open and Hoglund's outsized personality and George R.R. Martin style captain's hat made him a beloved local celebrity, the media's hungry for his antics as his customers were for his bivalves. Typical of his eccentric, silly walk through life, in his seventies, Hoglund accidentally won election to the Port Commission as a result of a prank gone wrong. Hoglund died in 1985 but is still remembered fondly and today his statue can be found on his old pier stomping grounds posed amid one of his favorite activities, feeding the seagulls.

But today with three full service restaurants, 20 smaller seafood bars and its chowder sold in stores including Kirkland, Washington's own Costco. Hoglund's legacy is more than just his bronze doppelganger. Old Settler's song ends with the lyrics that gave the original location its subtitle. No longer a slave of ambition, I laugh at the world and it shams and I think of my happy condition surrounded by acres of clams. This week on Doughboys, Ivers. Welcome to Doughboys Live, I'm Nick Weigher, I'm here, what's up Seattle?

Wow. Wow. So great to be here on time for the show, get to do the intro in front of you guys here at the Neptune Theater. And you know who else is here? Folks, this week's Roses, courtesy of Riley. Let me introduce my co-host, Kurt Cobain, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Hello.

Mitch has walked on stage with a brown paper bag labeled Pike Place Chowder. How you doing Spoon Man? What's up Seattle? Wow, look at that. Look at that crowd. Look at that crowd. Good looking crowd. Great looking crowd. Get turned on. Anyone graduating from the University of Washington this weekend?

No way. No way, you came to this? Isn't your graduation tonight? You're not here, that's not real. Stop lying. Anyone from Doughboys University, are you graduating tonight? Dough, dough, dough, dough, dough, dough. Fuck.

Dough, dough, dough, dough, dough. That was pretty good. Not gonna give us better than for me after the rest of the show. I think we should just call it. We got two gifts, Swags. Wow. One, two bags of frozen clam chowder in this bag. Yes.

Who brought the frozen clam chowder to two people who are from out of town. What do you expect us to do with a frozen clam chowder? What do you want us to do? Let me heat up my instant pot. I put it in my fucking carry-on bag. You want us to eat it tonight? I thought you guys would like just some frozen chowder.

I actually, I prefer it that way. I prefer it like a popsicle with clams in it. It's good. Fucking disgusting. You're a freak. I'm so happy to be out of fucking Golden State, those fucking assholes. Fuck that place.

Yeah, Mitch, you don't have to worry about any NBA basketball happening here, unfortunately. Sorry. Wow. Sorry. Super Sonic. It's a bummer. Yeah, no, I think they deserved it.

You deserved to get your team taken away from you. I'm in a bad mood. What do you want from me? We were in San Francisco this morning and flew up to Seattle, kind of had a whirlwind, ate both restaurants back to back, including the one we're going to be talking about this week. I'm a ticking time bomb for real.

Yes. It's bad news. Both digestively and you mean your mood, right? Yeah, I'm upset. You're about to fucking blow. So I tell them what happened. Well, first of all, we did the show last night. We did.

In San Francisco and I got off stage and I realized that like my fly had been down. Maybe the whole show. I think the whole show. Yeah. Look, I mean, I don't know when else it could have come down unless you like as you were sitting down in the green room, but nobody noticed you're in front of a table and

I walked up to the audience multiple times. That's true. You did go up to the audience multiple times, but let's be honest. What are you really hiding? Oh boy. People just saw like a Ken from Barbie crush. Didn't even react to it.

Less pubes. Anyways, that happened. And then we went to, I didn't mean it like that happened. That happened. So that happened. So that happened. That did happen. It did happen.

And it was like these new pants. It was just like really, it was really open. It was really, really a fly. It couldn't be more open than it was open. No one noticed. It was fine. No one noticed or cared. I'm that type of guy.

Just people are like, the slob has a fly down who gives a shit. And then after that, it was a bad start to the day. We were, we were on a, we got on a flight. Yes. We flew out of San Francisco at 10 a.m. That's right. And as I was leaving the plane, I have the AirPods Max and I had the carrying, the carrying case was in the,

was in the pouch in front of me. Yes. And I forgot it. Yeah. And then I went to, and then I like was leaving as I was like leaving. I was like, shit, I forgot it. I turned around and the guy at the gate was like, I don't think so. He's like, you can't go back on the plane.

I was like, why? And he's like, it's for security reasons. I'm like, you think I got a bomb immediately? Like my friend threw me a bomb. And he's like, you can't go back on. And I was like, it's my carrying case. Like it's going to get thrown away. I know it.

If I don't go down there, I was like, can you like radio to someone? Like, unfortunately, we can't radio down to someone for security reasons. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? By the way, Mitch is not really exaggerating this guy's voice for a fact. If anything, he's tamping it down a little bit. He was a sketch character. Turns out sketch character is not fun in real life. And I was like, it's going to get thrown away.

He was like, once everyone's off the plane, I can like go down and check. And he was like, what seat are you? I told him I see. He went down and he was like, it's not there. I was like, no shit. It got thrown away. You fucking fat asshole. Anyways, I don't hope that he dies.

Yes. I do. Oh, Mitch. I hope he dies. It's so everyone thinks everything. You don't need to feel guilty about your thoughts. You can't control them. You can't fucking toss.

Yeah. I mean, the thing is, if you see the isolation, it's like a little, I guess, like, pleather pouch that fits over. What the hell are you doing with your hands? It's kind of like a clam. I'm doing like a clam shell. It's kind of like a little mini clam shell that goes over just the headphone parts of the headphones, the ear part of the headphones.

So it kind of looks like a cardboard insert or something if you don't know what it is. I mean, it was all the things. I knew it was going to get tossed. I needed to go back down and get it. The sketch guy was a fucking piece of shit. And this is the type of guy Wags is. This is true. You said, I'll give you my case.

You said that after it happened. I got on Apple support and I got a new one myself, but I also still want your case. Anyways, that's how it started off. We had some gremlins this morning coming into Seattle. You gremlins. A few gremlins. You were a little grumpy. Yeah, but it's okay.

I understand. It's frustrating to lose something. It wasn't the new batch. It wasn't a fun group of gremlins. It was the original gremlins. It was like the Twilight Zone fucking gremlin. Oh, that's a scary gremlin. The one Shatner sees.

Yeah, the one Shatner sees. Oh, no. That's my Shatner. That's pretty good. Excentric guy. Shatner? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Shatner? Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, gremlins to start the archer up to Seattle. Everything's going fine. But why?

Because I'm happy to be here. I loved it. What a thrill. What a cheat. Look, I'm not pandering. I do like Seattle. Seattle's great. We're walking around.

Mitch is not pandering. Mitch likes to complain about things, but he was not complaining once we were in the city. I like the city. It's a lovely day. Lovely weather. And you said this to me. Yeah.

And you said, why can't downtown LA be like this? Yeah. I did say this. Because it is, I don't know. It's nice. It's nice to walk around. It's nice. You might catch a fish from Mike's place.

Yeah. Sure, it's got its own problems. But whatever. We don't see it. Yeah. We don't see it. We don't care. Don't tell us about them.

We don't want to hear it. No. We just want to go to the touristy part. Yeah. Keep it to yourself. We want to see the Disneyland part of Seattle. I don't care about the real stuff. We had a, no.

We had a lovely time so far. Lovely day. It was a lovely day. Yeah. A full day. A full day. And why is that? You know what?

I'm going to give a little howdy ho to Spoon Nation. Wow. And I think it's time to play a little drop. Oh boy. But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs. They're calling again. Let's see who's on line five. Hello.

This is Dr. Fraser Crane. I'm Nick Weiger. I am genuinely very tickled. Like there's no sex. You'll just be naked. And we're just going to tickle you. Well, Seattle, we have a celebrity of sorts on the line. No one listening to this care.

Oh, they know you. Just an adolescent trying to prove to your little friends how clever you are by getting on the radio. But you know what you're really doing? You're taking time away from people with real problems. No, that's a fair way to characterize this podcast. We are wasting a lot of time. It's making our lives worse.

Definitely. Wow. Good drop. Good drop. Good drop. On brand. Great. Good drop.

Howdy drop king at all. I am resubmitting a drop I made for the Seattle live show last year. Wow. After a year of reflection, I've decided the only reason it hasn't been played yet is that it was too long and not certainly because it's a bad drop. So I edited it down. Two things can be true. Anyway, here I got, here I go submitting again.

Oh boy. Delusional dropper. Dang ODC. Dang ODC. Dang ODC. Are you here? Dang ODC. Holy shit.

Wow. Right in front. Holy shit. Did you graduate? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you graduate today? Did you graduate today? All right.

Hell yeah. That's unsettling because that's lunging distance. Get right up here. He'll be all right. You're a good man. Great job. Thank you for the drop. Good job.

We did it. We did it. We should comment. Last time we were in Seattle, it was a debacle. Last time we were in Seattle, we were at this very venue. And I was working that day. Yes. And it was one of those things where I was like, I have to fucking show in a different

city and they were like, can't help you. And they like enforced my fucking contract and made me be there the whole day. And so I couldn't get on a flight out of LA until like 5pm. That was delayed. Were you working on Corcos Planet at this point? No, it was not Corcos Planet. A show you made up. It was an actual show.

It was an HBO pilot that didn't go. Anyway, so I was working on this. They made me be there for shooting. I went straight to the airport, hopped on a plane. The flight was delayed. Got up to Seattle as quickly as possible. But it's a venue. They have people working here.

They have deadlines. They have a curfew. They just had to fucking start the show. So they started the show. I'm giving all this context for anyone who maybe doesn't know this story. Maybe people are listening this later. They started the show. I wasn't here.

It was just you and our guest Tony Charlene. Yes. It sucked for me. I felt like, jokingly, I was like, I'm going to pretend like I'm Garth when Garth is alone on Mainz World. And then it just did turn into that almost immediately where the crowd was just kind of staring at me. I didn't know what to say.

Okay. This is fine. Like that's kind of what it turned into was just me like being like, okay, so what's happening Seattle? But you're here. Why is you're here this time? Maybe if you had a, maybe if you hadn't fucking had your mind on the show that HBO pilot would have picked up fucking rushing out the door.

I think I was too distracted by Doe Boys Live. I think you were. I say I have my priorities. Hell yeah. With his heart proud. Crowd as hot as hell. Mitch, I do want to, I did listen to the, that section of the episode later. You did a fantastic job.

Wow. You were great. Anyone here in that last Seattle show? Thank you guys. It was a bitch great. Didn't do a great job. Thank you guys. I want to quickly say, yeah, we got two gifts.

We got two bags of frozen chowder. Yes. And then we also got a cookbook. This is also real. Cooking with semen. Someone gifted that to us. You're here. The person's here.

Who gave us the cum? Just say it. You piece of shit. I feel like so stuffed in sick. Yeah. And then like, I was like, what is this? And opened it up. It's like a creme brulee made out of cum.

Yeah. I'm just like, fuck. Oh, no. Okay. Worst thing about that cookbook, Mitch, the pages were sticky. Jesus. That was actually, that was fucking revolting. Probably grosser than the frozen chowder we got.

Pretty close. Which we should probably, we should try to salvage that somehow. I don't know if there's a freezer backstage, but maybe we can at least put that in the fridge or something. Maybe we'll give it to, should we give a bag of frozen chowder to the best question tonight? Okay, great. That'll be a door prize for the best question if we remember it. Someone will get a bag of chowder. You came to a show, you get a bag of frozen chowder.

You came to a show, you bring a gift for the dough boys, and then we give your gift away to someone else. Who would have thought? Dude, my graduation night was fucking crazy. I woke up with a bag of frozen chowder in my bed. Wise, we should introduce our guest. We absolutely should. An actor and comedian from the podcast, you are worthy with a little Mookie Bee. Make some noise for our guest, Mookie Blake Law.

Yeah. What's up? Yeah, what an entrance. Thank you. I thought that was kind of neat. It was very neat. People in Seattle would think that was kind of neat. That remix?

Yeah. Great remix. Very respectful remix. Respectful of the dead. Yes. Mookie, we are very, very excited to have you here. I'm excited to be here. We've had a great time with you so far.

Such a blast. One of the funniest people around and one of our good friends. So fun to be up here in the PNW with you. You also give a good massage. You're giving a little background. The Emmy one right before the show. Holy moly. It felt great.

Yeah. It's one of those things where, you know, I know how I like to be massaged. Sure. So it's, you know. It loosened me up quite a bit. Maybe loosened me up too much. I was telling them that I should maybe tone it down. I was possibly, things were going to leak out in a minute.

Jesus Christ. We ate two meals back to back. We did. We had a bang bang. It was rough. I feel like shit. I feel horrible. It was gnarly in terms of the quantity of food, but I would say a delight in terms of the

overall experience, but we'll get into that in a second. But I do want to talk a little bit, Mitch and Mookie, about Seattle, about the Evergreen City. No, that's not it. The Emerald City, the Evergreen State. Ah, okay. Fuck that up. If it's the state, it's Evergreen, but Emerald, it's the city you mean.

Now I'll remember. Yes. Please remember that. I'll remember. The Twilight State. Ooh, mixed reaction to that. I feel like Twilight's going to come back around. What do you mean?

Yeah, that movie from less than 10 years ago, I think, is going to have a big comeback soon. It's due. Mookie, have you spent much time up here in Seattle? Not at all. Well, I was here. I flew to Seattle Airport one time. That's right. About, what is it, 10 years ago now?

Mm-hmm. With Michi Poo. That's right. And Betsy Siddharo and Dave Tooney. Dave Tooney. All been on the pod. Good crew. And then we flew to Seattle, SeaTac.

You guys should clap. And there we go. There we go. SeaTac's getting his respect. He knows his shit. And then we drove. We got in a rental car. We drove two hours north to Bellingham, Washington.

Wow. To Western Washington University. Didn't see a single ham up there. I'll say this. Nor one Belling. Yeah, a single Belling as well. I'll say this, Moocs. For the land of Twilight, the sun was out at like 10 p.m.

up there. The sunset at 10.30 p.m. It was gorgeous. Dracula's probably like, what the fucks? Yeah, I'm trying to go to bed. No, he's trying to come out. Oh, shit, right. He's opposite from us, right.

I should have known this from Twilight. I'm in the Twilight state. It's a different Dracula that he goes to bed. He comes out at... I'm Dracula. I can be out in the daytime and I don't drink blood. And I go to bed at the reasonable hour. I asked you to remind me about my headphone case.

You did? Yes. And you forgot. You know what? I was just telling Emma backstage. You told me that before the flight. You said, hey, don't let me forget this. And as we were descending, you woke up from your bear nap.

You went, we got to be landing soon, right? And I went, look out the window and you could see the ground. And I remember I looked, I didn't tell you this. I looked at your little headphone pack in the seat and I clocked it. And I went, got to remember to tell Mitchie about that. Then we landed. I forgot. You forgot.

At the end of the day, it's your responsibility. That is true. I'm not taking any blame for what happens. Sure. I won't accept it, but I didn't hold up my end of the bargain, which frankly was not my responsibility, but it's in a trash pile now. May it rest in peace. Look, I know.

If we see a raccoon walking around wearing that thing later, I'll be so fucking pissed. I'll chase that fucker down, dude. But then it turns out to be a cool guy. My bad, man, you can have it back. We saw some ducks on our roof too. Why is there were ducks upstairs? You saw ducks? You were in the room when I pointed them out.

Birds. There was a big puddle on the roof across the street and two ducks were hanging out in it. Why am I not remembering the ducks? I think it wasn't paying attention. You were reading the semen cookbook going, I should do some ingredient prep. You were reading it like the micro machine guy. Two cute little ducks taking a bath right across the...

That's adorable. How about that? Kind of creepy of us to watch them bathing. We named them Edward and Bella. I've enjoyed my time in Seattle. It feels like a really good food city. At least at the time, the places I've been in, nice little walk-in city. Some walk-in can happen here.

We walked some. Walked a little bit. But I am curious because we're talking about a seafood place today. Mitch, I know you're a big seafood guy. Mukye, I imagine also being from New England, you have some opinions on food from the sea. Do you want to hear them? Yeah, I think so. Fishy is delicious.

I love seafood. You know, West Coast seafood is a lot different than East Coast seafood. Sure. And there are some copycats. Huh? He went, harp! But listen, you can make it good anywhere. Sure.

I mean, what else would you like me to say? What are your favorite, like, okay, favorite kinds of fish, favorite kinds of preparation, favorite kinds of shellfish, do you have like a go-to? Like this is my favorite fish dish. I mean, look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't love the most, you know, like a fried, a battered and fried fish preparation. Sure. If you're talking about clams or fish and chips.

A lot of fun. Or fried oysters or whatever it may be. Mm-hmm. But, you know, I love to eat a nice like piece of salmon with some oil and salt and pepper on it, perhaps a bit of garlic. Ooh, I like the sound of that. On a bed of spinach. Nice little simple preparation.

Sounds great. On a Monday night. Yeah, that's great. A great weeknight meal. You know, a lobster roll, whatever. I like to eat fucking everything. I am a fat piece of shit. No.

And if you put it in front of my fat hole, I'll breathe it in. I'm with you on that. For me, yikes. Are you happy? Yeah. I like a nice, juicy shark. Give me a nice, juicy shark. I like the tail, the chewy part.

They try to eat humans. Yeah. It's only right that we try to eat them back. Can't you eat shark? You can get shark, right? You can get a shark. You can get a shark steak. You can do that.

Probably, yeah. Probably tough to catch them, I'm sure. Yeah. I don't know. You go out and grab one of those dudes. It's scary. I don't think all sharks are like that. And I'm not sure if the sharks that you eat are like a great white.

Yeah. That's disappointing. It would be great to eat Bruce from Jaws. That'd be cool. It'd be cool if he was killed humanely, right? No. You want him blown up. Yeah, I want him blown up like in the movie.

Exploded remnants of Bruce the shark from Jaws. Bruce burgers, yeah. Explode them and then we make Bruce burgers. If you could, would you eat a dinosaur? Yeah. I need a dinosaur. Yeah, me too. If I could get my hands on one, I would do it, definitely.

I wonder, because reptiles aren't super yummy, right? Is there like a good reptile? People like Gator. Gator, yeah. Go down to New Orleans and get some Gator. Gator's all right. Yeah, I've had some Gator. Yeah, it's a little chewy.

Yeah. Turtle soup, I guess. I've had turtle soup. I like turtles, but... What, are you freaking Shredder? No, I'm not Shredder. You're acting like Shredder over there. I'm not Shredder.

You just said you love turtle soup. Sometimes I'll be like looking in the menu and I'll be like, tonight I dine on turtle soup. But that doesn't make me Shredder. I'm not the Shredder. I don't know. Are you the I like turtles kid? I like turtles.

I do like turtles. You really are the I like turtles kid. We did name one of our turtles Shredder, because he was fast and then he ran away. Yes, which I have said this before. Yeah. It's very funny that a turtle ran away from you. I guess at this point I should ask my parents if they were lying to me

and he died. Oh, that's true. Didn't your grandma just run away recently? My grandma ran away, yeah. 91 years old. We're still looking for her. Grandma ran away. It's fucked up.

Nick, your college girlfriend, she ran away. Oh, no, that's so bad. She's living on a farm now. Nick, there was a debacle at our... I realize that the socks were playing the Mariners today. Yes, that's right. This show isn't the only Boston, Seattle crossover happening. We scheduled this tour so poorly.

The reschedule, there was a game today. Yes, this is conflicting with socks, Mariners, and the University of Washington graduation. We still have a great sold out house here. We're still very... 100%. Last night we were in San Francisco, conflicted with Game 4 of the NBA Finals,

which the Golden State Warriors were in, so that was... And by the way, the audience, annoyingly, when they won, went, Warriors, while we were on stage. Fucking assholes. So fucking disrespectful. Disrespectful to your boy. How could you do that to your boy, the Spoon Man?

Yeah, I know. Up on stage, trying to give you laughs, and then you do that to me. So fucking disrespectful. Wait, why did I even... Oh, yes, yes. And then there was a bunch of angry people in our hotel. There was a bunch of angry old people, remember?

A lot of anger, a lot of rage. I think they were probably family members of U of W students who had some issues with booking their hotels. There's a lot of Bostonians here. There's a lot of anger in the city today. A lot of anger in the city. You're out of rage. I don't like them. Get them out of here.

I'm the Bostonian who's here this weekend. Wow. Take a hike. Yeah. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right, Y. So I'm going to Costa Rica with the family.

It's gonna be a lot of fun. Gonna maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Gonna maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. Hey, that sounds like a heck of a vacay.

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I guess we should pivot to this week's chain, which is I thought was IVARS. I was corrected as IVERS. IVERS is how you say it. How do you guys say it? We... IVERS. IVERS.

I didn't help. IVERS like divers. Why not? You dive for seafood. IVERS. If you're a diver, you go for IVERS. It should be the IVARS. But that's the guy's name, I think, is IVERS.

I think it's pronounced IVERS. Who cares? But there's... Who cares how you pronounce a dead man's name? IVERS. That's how he said it. He's not dead. He ran away.

He lives in the sea. I felt like you were saying something. You went on a tangent to talk about the socks. I feel like you had a different thought than you. No, I was going to talk about how there was a... A group of students at our hotel who all didn't have hotel rooms. This is also true.

Yes. There's like a group of high school students. They were young, yeah. And I just didn't trust you down there. Okay. I'll be with them. All right, you guys need rooms for the night? I got a king.

IVERS was originally opened by IVER Haglund in 1946. Hold on. Okay. Speaking of king, he was known as the king or mayor or patriarch of the waterfront. This is a quote from IVERS' website. IVER Haglund was a true Seattle character and icon. He was known as an entertainer, folk singer, restaurateur.

And it has three themed sit-down locations and around 20 of the fish bars. He was known all across the land for making bad seafood. Uh-oh, a little sneak peek of my thoughts. Oh my God. We are in deep shit, man. I really am curious because you guys like this place.

It was overwhelmingly the favorite. It was overwhelmingly when we pulled the audience and said, like, hey, where should we go? What should we talk about? A bunch of different chains were tossed out. But in a country mile, IVERS was the runaway winner. Everyone say you got to review IVERS. You got to go to Firemaster.

Uh, we've, okay, we're not leaving for more options now. We could have participated in the Twitter poll earlier. Poll is closed. Poll is closed. We ate there. We're doing the show about it. But I'm officially opening it back up now. We went to IVERS.

This leads to the Doughboys January 6th situation. Everyone's too out of breath to do anything. There's stairs? Yeah. The only thing that happens is every desk gets shit on. We all had to take a shit. But this is a place where, like, I mean, I understand it as significance to the city.

I understand that there's people probably with nostalgia to it. But, like, do you think it's good? No, I heard a lot of no's. I'm hearing a good amount of no's. But also some of you seem like you want to kill us. I would say that the issue with IVERS, based off of our experience, and I guess we're just going to get fully into it at this point,

is... We're going to get into it already? Yeah, let's bullshit for another half an hour. No, we're at the point in the show where we should talk about the restaurant. All right, fine. So the case was right there in the seat. And I walked off the whole plane. I know it's my fault.

No, it's not. It's actually that fucking asshole's fault. Yeah. Why can't you go back on the plane? Security on planes is too tight. Remember that guy did say, like, three times? He was like, that's why the flight attendants say, Gary, make sure you have everything when you get on the plane.

He said that to me, and I was like, yeah, no shit! I fucking forgot it! And then he said it a second time. He was like, right, sir. And again, that is why the flight attendants say, and you were like, yeah, I know! He was such an asshole. Yeah.

He's getting radioed down to somebody? God damn it. Security issue. He's recording his own podcast right now, like recapping the Sopranos or whatever the fuck he does. Some man fatter than me who will refer to me as fat. Lost his headphones case. It was his own fault.

He was shrieking at me. Tears streaming down his face. I was sad. I think I was close to tears. I also, I also, sorry. One more detail that was very funny to me is that he came back and looked at your seat and he went, was it another seat?

And he went, no. And he's like, didn't find it anywhere. Sorry, I looked. There's nothing under the seat or under the seat. And then he grabbed his bag and he like ran away. He ran away. Because he knew you were like, like you were going to explode.

Removed himself from the situation. Fucking piece of shit. And then I think, and then I think you, you went, I can't believe this fucking shit. And he turned around and went, again, that is why the flight attendants always say that. Oh, and then, and then we have a problem. We, we Delta tends to have a problem with a passenger

is just taking things from the seats that aren't there. Yeah. He blabbed it on, on the thief's, thieves flying the air. Could have been a thief. I mean, in a way, it's a perfect crime. To get a headphone case. Need a replacement.

It is the perfect crime. Anyways, I don't hope that guy dies. Either do I. Are you doing okay? It's been resolved. You're going to get a new one. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine.

It's going to be okay. I'm fine. Yes. Look, it's fine. But it was one of my pet peeves. People try to get off the airplane before you wise. It pisses me off. Why did you say that aloud?

What? Yeah. What was that? What did he say? I don't know. What did you say, sir? I don't need to hear it. Delta, say it again.

Delta flies an Airbus A220 on that route. Delta flies an Airbus A220 on that route. That's what that man just told us. Yeah. That's actually kind of... Wait, is it Zully? Zully's here. Zully is here.

Zully! That's why we were freaking out when we had the talks about the Dutch. I know. Birds, birds, birds, birds. They kept trying to land us in the river. Are you a pilot? Good thing because it seems like you are very... You love Delta.

You love Delta. You like Delta. I love that that could not just stay in your brain. Delta flies an Airbus A220. Okay. What are the odds that tonight in the front row of this show you got set up to give us that useless piece of information? God, I hope they mentioned something about the flight from San Francisco to Seattle tonight

so I can say this shit. I've been going to show after show after show. They never mentioned it. So we went to the Acres of Clams location on the pier. We sat outside and while some booze, some o's, apparently there's other versions. There's like a salmon house. There's like a... There's other concepts.

We went to this one which was the original, figured if you're going to get one Ivers experience, that's the one to go to. I don't love the subtitle, Acres of Clams. It's a little... Okay, so it comes from the folk song that I mentioned in my intro which I know you didn't listen to. I unfortunately had to. I was right off stage. It sucked for me.

So that comes from an old folk song that Iver himself used to sing. Oh, okay. And so it was like that's... Well, okay, sorry, the song is bad. I think it's... I think the idea of Acres of Clams, to me that is a disgusting image. I don't want to think about Acres of Clams. I don't want to think about it.

I don't want to think about it. No. Horrible image. And I would say the pier, you're always a little skeptical of a restaurant that is on the waterfront. Because you're like, is the location doing all the work? In this case, I feel like that's 90% of it. That's most of the appeal is that you're right on the water, that you can look at the ferry coming into the dock. It was a beautiful view.

It was nice. It was pretty. Yeah, very pretty. And like a nice interior. Honestly, as I was there, this is a lot like a Bubba Gump shrimp company if the food was a little worse. I was like, this is like Bubba Gump shrimp company, but instead of all the fun of Forrest Gump, it's this dipshit who made a bad song. We got some, you know, we sat outside. They seemed a little understaffed.

That seems to be the story of every restaurant we died in it these days. You know, it's an industry where people aren't paid enough. So hopefully that gets rectified. I probably won't because it's America. Anyway, we, but we did wait, but our server was very nice and we got some cocktails and beverages. I got myself a peach iced tea, very peachy. It felt like they'd taken some heavy syrup from a can of peaches and just poured it in there. Very, very, very sweet.

Maybe a little too sweet for me. Mitch, you got yourself a cocktail. I did. I'm frantically looking it up. Let me bring the menu up. You got a peach something or other. I got the Mr. K's mango punch or some shit. I'm going to go with Mr. K's mango punch. Describe what the cocktail was.

I'll look up the actual name. Mr. Donkey's Dinglesauce. I don't know what the fuck it was called. Did you take a picture of the menu? Fuck, I can't believe I had one job to do. Just get my cocktail name and I forgot it. I'll figure it out. I got a strawberry lemonade.

That was kind of nice. How about that? It was, I had two extremely sweet drinks. My cocktail was very sweet and my lemonade was also very sweet. Very Bubba Gump shrimp-esque cocktail for me. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's maybe a little less charming, but yeah, that same sort of thing. So here's the cocktails.

Here we go. Oh, that's just a happy hour. I got the pineapple rum old-fashioned. And you know what? It was pretty good. It was good. I had a sip of that. It was pretty tasty. It was my sip of the slip. The cocktails I see are here, Mitch.

I'll list them off. Let me know if any of these worth anything. There was St. Kitt's Mango Punch. Wait, what is the first one? St. Kitt's Mango Punch. I think that is it. But are we sure it's not Mr. Clinton's, President Clinton's Mango Punch?

All right. This is really good. Served on a blue dress. This was Shipwreck Mango Rum Lime Juice, Pineapple Juice, Orange Juice, and Grenadine. Do you like what you had? Yes, that's the one. Okay, great.

All right, college graduates. A whole new crop of interns. Oh, Mr. Clinton. Mr. Clinton. What, you're mad at me for the way he acted? This is not our fault. Yeah, it's not our fault. I love interns, Nick.

Okay. Well, Mr. President, do not invite any of them on a private plane, please. I know one that takes flight pretty soon. Jeffrey Epstein flew on a Gulf Stream 720. Man, it was crazy that Jeffrey Epstein was in prison and then he ran away. I know.

Very sad. Mookie, I'll get the rest of the cocktails up here. So, remind us what you got. I got the Pineapple Rum Old Fashioned. That's right. This is Pineapple Rum Giffords, Banana Brazil, and Bitters. Now, Nick, when it came to the food,

I'm going to get right into what I ordered. I know it's a seafood place, but I got myself a cheeseburger, medium rare, with some french fries. Oh, yeah! Just for context, we ate in reverse order, so if you're at the late show,

we'll talk about what we ate at first, which was dough zone. So we went to dough zone first. We had a lot of food, and we had some seafood there. And so, by the time we got to Ivers, you know, I'm not eating meat right now, for the most part,

but I also got a burger. Medium rare with some fries. Yes, yes. I have some bad news for you guys. I also got a burger, medium rare with cheese and fries. So as a burger restaurant, that's kind of how we're evaluating this place.

We got Chowder. We got Chow, we didn't get burgers. We didn't get burgers. We didn't order one single burger. We didn't order one single burger. It was a trick. It was a little graduation prank. We played on you all.

So, yeah, we started with some clam chowder. Clam chowder. Clam chowder. Clam chowder. You got to climb that chowder. We got some clam chowder. This is their famous, it was their Ivers clam chowder,

and it's a thing that they can and distribute. I had high expectations for this. I figure like, if there's a thing that a fish house should do right, this is one of those things that should just be an absolute fucking home run. And they, it wasn't. It was a pop-up,

it was a pop-out fly that someone caught. Yeah, I mean, look, I can't claim to be a chowder authority as someone from sunny Southern California. Do you like my baseball? I thought it was great. A pop-up fly that someone caught. It's one of the ones where the guy hits the ball,

but he doesn't get to stay on the base. Yes. Yes. He doesn't even get to a base. He has to go back and sit with the rest of the team. You know what? I would be surprised if that clam chowder was made from that semen recipe book upstairs.

It was a garlicky load in my mind. A good way to fucking trick Dracula. Kill him. You got a garlicky load? Wait, what do you think Dracula drinks? You got to get Dracula to suck your dick. Okay. And you got to eat this clam chowder first.

You got to eat the clam chowder, then you got a garlicky load. Got it. And then he's like, I'm having a great time. Whoa! It would be funny if you came and you killed Dracula. It would be funny.

Imagine if that really happened. If Dracula sucked his dick, there was garlic in the cum and he died. Would that not be the most insane thing you ever saw happen? That would be nuts. Dracula's a terror, but he's got the hots for me. I'm going to eat a bunch of garlic tonight,

get him to suck my dick in his days of fucking terrorizing the countryside or over with. You're saving the world. You could just have him bite your neck and suck the garlic out of your bloodstream. No, dude, it's got to be through the dick. Okay, all right. Got it.

That's what you figured out at the end of I Am Legend. I just got to get one to suck my dick. I mean, look, I'm not from... This is Northwest style clam chowder, so it's more like, I guess, the Pacific Northwest way of doing it. I'm from a big chowder town, but you guys are big chowder town.

You're chowder heads. You're from the New England. Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about which monster would be the best to suck you off. It happens at Ghostbusters. The ghost has done it. There's a ghost on film that's done it. I mean, I'm sure there's a bit...

That ghost was just like a lady. It was like an attractive ghost lady, which I guess is probably pretty good. It's still a ghost. Yeah, it's a monster. If any ghost sucked my dick, I'd pick that one. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good.

That's a good one. Yeah, I agree. I'd pick that one, too. That'd be number one on my list. So we're great. That's the ghost we picked. Yeah. All right, great.

I feel like Frankenstein would maybe be bad at it. He'd just be too aggressive. I think it's zero to ten with Frankenstein. Wolfman, too much teeth. Yeah. The mummy kind of shy. Famously shy. Mummy, though, got good cleanup right afterwards.

Yeah, you're just set. What? This is what I like to talk about. This is our free time. You guys are a chowder expert. So you guys have been eating a lot of chowder in your day. You're from New England. That's right, yes.

Yeah. And this one wasn't good. Yeah. Too thick. Too salty. Too salty. Too way too thick. Had a little film that you had to break through on the top,

like a crème brûlée. Yes. It wasn't hard. Was that not normal? Now, you know how we felt. Yeah. Didn't love it. We also got the crab and bay shrimp dip,

which has parmesan and cream cheese, and it came with some essential baguettes that were toasted, some slivers of that. I would say that, and as we're eating this, if you gave this to me blind, I would not know there was seafood in it. It was just so cheese forward. Mookie, I think you said it reminded you of like a TGI Friday

spinach artichoke dip. It was like that kind of... It was a spinach artichoke dip with just like, you know, like a chain restaurant, like two oily dip. Yeah. And I do want to emphasize, we came into this place with a very open mind. We came into this place excited to eat at it,

and when we had the clam cheddar, we're like, okay, all right, maybe that's a misfire. A little misfire. Maybe this is a bad batch. But oh, this looks good. That dip sounds really good. We're going to get that. It also wasn't good.

It was bad. It was also a total bummer. We did get some spicy prawns, which come with chili flake, wine, tomatoes, butter, and some toasted bread. The spicy prawns were my favorite of the meal. I think this was the... Yeah, I think this was to borrow your parlance, Mitch.

This was the bite of the night. It was. It was the best thing. Now, is this something I would be excited to have again? Probably not. No. But if we were eating here, then that would be the thing that I would be most confident

in ordering. I mean... Yeah. It had some good... The shrimp themselves, the prawns themselves, I think were not particularly seasoned, but there was good flavor in that sauce, and there was a little bit of spice.

You know, I'm something of a heat seeker, and I feel like I got a little bit... Just a little bit of a burn from that. They like it. They like that. They like that. They like what he said. Mitch, it's like...

Mookie, Mitch is right. They liked it. If you're ever... I can't believe he said that. If we're ever really eating shit on stage, we'll just go to something like that, so... Why is that a complete trash? Thing I didn't make up.

The dip was not good. It was like a spinach and artichoke dip that maybe had like a little crabby aftertaste. That dip gets a slip. And then the prawns... Mookie, you pointed this out that the sauce was actually good, but you thought the shrimp... Like the sauce.

The shrimp had no... Or the prawns. Had no seasoning. Yeah, that was kind of your observation there, Bart. Yeah, we were for sure. The broth or whatever that it was in was... The consomme was fine, dipped in a piece of bread, but like...

I thought the dip was the best thing of the appetizers, just because it was like... I mean, it didn't taste like seafood dip, but it was just like, you know, gooey cheese on bread. It still wasn't even that good, but I think I liked it the best of all the three appetizers we got. I was...

Yes, I was nervous. There was seagulls flying around. I was nervous they'd attack our food. Turns out, nothing to worry about. The seagulls flew on. They came down, they expected our food. Yeah. Mitch had a piece of bread that he was going to stick in the dip,

and then he turned back and was like, oh, there's already dip on it. I ate seagull shit. I made that joke at lunch. We had some fun jokes at lunch. I liked it. Yeah, the prawns were my favorite of the bunch, but you liked the dip.

I like the prawns. I agree with you on the prawns. They had some... To me, they had some actual flavor to them. It was funny eating the prawns. I was like, they didn't come from right over here. These are not nearby prawns. These prawns traveled here.

These are vacation prawns. Yeah, I don't know where they get their product. They could have been Costco prawns, honestly. They could have been... I don't know. I definitely got the sense that some of this stuff came from frozen, including... This was fucking disappointing,

because we had these appetizers. We were like, okay, the prawns are okay. Everything else was disappointing. But hey, a good fish and chips could go a long way. This is Ivor's world-famous true cod fish and chips. They're like, here it fucking is. This is our thing. We're putting our brand name on it,

and we're saying it's world-famous. We're saying it's true cod. We're that confident in this product. And you know what? It should be world-famous, because it sucks. Honestly, honestly, really, my most disappointing bite of the meal. They fucked up the fish and chips.

What do you want us to do? Not well fried. Kind of a gooey coating, like no crispness to it. People are turning on us. It seemed like it came from frozen. It really did. It felt like a frozen fish stick. Yeah.

Like the batter wasn't crispy. It was like, you know what? When it separated, you could tell the fish, before you even bit into it, it was like the fish inside separated from the batter, and it was like, you could peel it off. Like a banana. We're in the age of the gastropub, right?

We've been in that era for about 20 years now. And so that's like a dish. You go to a gastropub. They have a plus-up fish and chips. It should at least be that quality. Why do they treat Ivor like Disney? Why is he a Disney-type character? It seems like it was Ivor's idea to become a Disney-like man.

When we went in there, there was like a big TV that was playing like the history of Ivor's and showing old films of him. I think he's just an egomaniac, who's like, I want my face on every TV and every screen and every picture frame in the entire restaurant. And there's a picture of him like with a big, like sniffing like a big plate of clams,

which is kind of off-putting. Like, hmm. I said this to you like, who no one does that? Yeah. It does feel like food that was, that would have impressed someone at the World's Fair, like 50 years ago. You know what I mean?

Okay, yeah. And I think that's maybe like, because that's the, is that the origin of the Space Needle? Was that built for the World's Fair? So maybe that's- You got these at the bottom of the sea, you see? Yeah, maybe that was it.

Don't look at that thing. Look at what I have, a plate of clams. A plate of old clams. Yeah, I thought the vision chips was pretty disappointing. I'll say this. The fries were fine. The fries I didn't think were great. This was a very funny moment where Wags,

this is how you know it's a bad. Because look, maybe I'll be an asshole just for the fun of it. But Wags was eating the coleslaw and Wags goes, even the coleslaw is bad. Slaw with slaw sucked. It was rough slaw. Rough slaw, brother. It was rough slaw.

And you know, speaking of stuff that they put their stamp on, and they say like, this is our thing. The titular dish, the Acres of Clams. You can order off the menu there. This is Manila Clams, local Manila Clams. They make a point of saying with fennel, fingerlin, potatoes, carrot, celery, and white wine, and bread. So, you know, it's similar to this prawns dish,

except without the, without as much seasoning, and you subbed in clams for prawns. Man, this, I like, I didn't like eating this at all. I had no fun putting this in my mouth. I wanted to like this. I wanted at least the broth to be satisfying. I don't know if you're keeping score, but so far we've like zero dishes.

I was okay with the prawns. It was the most basic ass little bowl of clams I've ever seen in my life. It's a real bummer. Acres of Clams. I don't like the name already. It just, I said that it was the most disappointing dish. It's the subtitle.

It should be a showstopper. It should. It's like, this is what we fucking do. This is our Acres of Clams. And it's one thing if you don't like clams, and you don't like that, fine, but I do like clams. I wanted this dish to be good.

It's like, look, we brought up Gremlins 2, Gremlins 2, the new batch. Yes. It's like you went and saw Gremlins 2 and they're like, oh, there was no new batch in it. It just didn't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.

You get what I'm saying? Do you mean that you'd see a hypothetical Gremlins 2 with no Gremlins? Is that what you're saying? I don't understand there was no new batch. No, there wouldn't be a new batch of Gremlins. Oh, they were the same Gremlins from before. It's false.

I mean, I guess it's not... Okay, the subtitle is the new batch. You go to see the Gremlins. I get it now. Now I understand, but then there aren't any new Gremlins. It's like going to see the new Jurassic World and you're like, where's the Dominion? Look, maybe Gremlins 2 is a bad route to go down here.

Yeah. Acres of Clams. I don't even get where they're talking about it. It's just that there's a lot of clams there. Again, it's from the song. It's supposed to evoke... I don't like this song. Evoke an abundance of clams.

Evoke like too many clams. You're supposed to think, damn, the biggest fucking bowl of clams is about to be put right in front of me. This big bowl of clams. The first 15 minutes trying to figure out how to say Ivers, which was on you. Don't say we.

Ivers. So we were just sitting at the table and Nick's going, Ivers. Ivers. Yeah, I wanted to get it right. Yeah, I had Ivers. Definitely Ivers, Ivers. Ivers.

Yeah, it was the most disappointing dish to me because that is your... That's your thing. That's your thing. That's what you do. It's in the restaurant title. I don't revel in savaging a place. I don't like being like,

I want to go to a place, I want to like it, I want it to be good, and hey, Seattle has given one of the best, my most favorite meals I've had for one of these traveling tour shows, which is when we went to Dix back in the day. Absolute fucking blast.

Great time. I love Dix. The food was great. It was great. It was a simple menu that they executed well. It was another place that was kind of frozen in time, but it worked. And so, and I would love to go back to Dix

and I would not be excited to go back to this place. I can describe Dix. It's like, Dix is like, if you went and saw Gremlins 2 and the new, you see, and you do see the new batch. Perfect. Now I'm following.

Thank you. We also got a black and salmon Caesar just to try it and just to try their version of salmon. I didn't feel like the salmon was well cooked. It was either, I think it was overcooked. I think it was just like well done. I think it was overcooked, but we also weren't sure.

Yes. Overcooked and also, like not a grain of salt on it. Yeah. I mean, yeah. This is the bad news. The Caesar salad was like maybe my favorite thing of the entire meal.

And it was like a movie. You know, it's like, you know, when you go to a movie theater that has food, it was like that kind of Caesar salad. That's a great way of putting it. Yeah, it is. Absolutely.

Actually, everything we ate seemed like AMC. You know what happened at this lunch? Before, after the appetizers, before the entrees came, you were like, I'm going to ask for the check now and I want to be out of here in 20 minutes.

It's true. Now, were we giving it a fair shot? Yes. But I was ready to go. It was over with likes. Look, I'm not, is there anyone from the Iver family here tonight? Oh, no, I hope not.

They should be ashamed. They're here. Okay. Well, I guess let's get to our final thoughts on Iver. Look, I mean, I'll go first. I'll take this bullet.

Again, I'm repeating myself. I want to like this place. I wanted to go and have a great meal. A spoiler alert for the late show. We were coming off a fantastic meal and we had a wonderful time at the previous restaurant. Yeah.

So we're going to Ivers. We're like, hey, we're a little full, but you know what? We got a nice walk. We walked between locations. We got a nice little, little mile plus walk. You burned some calories. I worked up a little bit of an appetite.

I didn't really enjoy that either. I wish I had a scooter. We had a nice walk. And, you know, we sat down and I just, I feel like every part of it was... We were having a blast. We walked down a big set of stairs. Mookie did the Joker dance down the stairs.

That was really funny. That was great. I wish you guys could have been there. It was great. It was so good. I forgot about that. That was great. And then...

You know, so like, and there's, they're doing classics here. I think though you hope that they're at least executing the classics due to degree of proficiency. They didn't seem to be doing that. The anything else that anything fancy they were trying was also a flop. I just, I don't even, I think the theming was okay,

but I think you have to have some nostalgia from this play for this place. I think you have to have some acquaintance with who Ivers is and his personal history and, and you know, or maybe just like some allegiance to the city of Seattle because you grew up here and that's fine. I get it.

But as a restaurant, I think maybe the charm earns it a half fork. So I'm going to say one and a half forks for Ivers. Ouch. All right, Mookie. Oh man. Oh no. We didn't like it.

And now you don't like us. We've a whole second show for the audience to calm down. So we're not killed afterwards. So Wigs, I was going to go off of you, but you were a little harsher than I even thought you were going to be for a polite guy. But listen, every single thing was disappointing. Yeah.

I really liked my cocktail and I'd go back there for a cocktail. I'd go sit at the bar for that cocktail, maybe on a date. Sure. With a seagull. There's one in the audience. But yeah, it was like, it was like bomb after bomb after bomb

after bomb. Good cocktail. I kind of like the cheese thing. I like sitting on the water, two forks. Going to Ivers, I imagine is a lot like coming to a Doughboy show. You're getting something. You're like, aren't they supposed to be good at this?

Why are they doing this? Why do they smell like seaweed? Why are there seagulls following them? Look, Iver, maybe is a good guy. I don't know what his deal is. I actually kind of appreciate someone who tries to turn themselves into a Disney. Wags is maybe tangled up in his wires.

I got it. I got it figured out. All right. But Wags, nothing hit. They were nowhere. And look, I'm a hometown guy. You know that I gave five forks to every restaurant we went to in Massachusetts.

And I want a crowd to like me. Sure. So that's why I want to give it five forks. But I had a bad day, two forks. Wow. Ivers wasn't good. Ivers wasn't good. Acres and clams, this is a bad name.

Change the name. How about just Ivers? You don't have to get cute with the fucking subtitle. Well, they have, in defense of that, they have different Ivers concepts. So they have like the fish bars, which are like their quick service ones. And then their sit-downs are all different Ivers versions.

There's Ivers, Acres of Clams. There's Ivers like Salmon Emporium or whatever the fuck. So they all have their own little, I get it. I think people just call it Ivers, right, colloquially. That's just like, yeah, so. Ivers Lobster Prom. Look, I know you love him. He's your hero, but he's a dipshit.

God bless. The service was nice and it has a nice interior. Yeah, it was. One guy was made to you. One guy was made to me. We didn't talk about that. Snap to me for using the wrong door. Maybe he was having a bad day.

It's fine. I'm not going to hold a grudge forever like some people. But Mitch. Oh, you're talking about me with the Delta Man. Hey, you. You craving fresh, delicious, easy meals? Try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries delivered

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That's wildgrain.com slash Doughboys, or you can use promo code Doughboys at checkout. Do it. Mitch, speaking of the Delta man, because that was a review of Ivers, but I don't think you guys saw this. I had a little problem at the airport myself at LAX. I think it was before I saw the two of you. Yeah, so like I had my passport and I give it to the TSA guy

and he's looking at it and he's like grilling me. Like he's like asking my address. I give him my address. It's my old address. Yeah. And so he's like, that doesn't line up. It's like, oh, that's probably my old address. It's this one.

It was this whole thing. I don't know why. And then at a certain point he's like, he's like, all right, Nick, is it, what's your, what's your full legal name? And I gotta tell you, that's like maybe the best acting performance. I believed that.

I did too. That was really good. I tell the guy, my, you know, my full legal name is Nicholas Frankweiger, but sometimes I go by Frank, which means it's time to review the Week in Hot Dog news and another edition of Let Me Be Frank. Hot dog simmer in the city.

Greater mile grill getting greasy and gritty. Toast bun, don't it look pretty. Sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty. Pork and bean, sausages and long bread. Rollin' on a roller pill. Mustard and bread. One bite, it's a different world. Swap dog bites with a girl.

Munch on, munch on and chomp all night. Despite the farce, it'll be all right. That taste with the casing has napped. Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city like you're sucking on a titty. You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog

frying all the time. You ain't never been a burger and you ain't no lunch of mine. Well, they said you a sandwich. Well, that was just a lie. You're just a ball around a wiener and you sure don't qualify. I'm gonna hot some dogs only got butts and freaks in my cooler.

I'm, I'm hungry looking for an onion this is fucking nom nom. I'm gonna hot some dogs only got butts and freaks in my cooler. I'm, I'm hungry looking for an onion this is fucking nom nom. I'm, I'm, I'm hungry looking for an onion this is fucking nom nom.

Hey Grew, I don't know a lot. Can you see all this, all this food? It's not your Frank. Yeah, I know that. Look at me son. It's not your Frank. I know. No, it's not your Frank.

I know. No, no, no you don't it. It's not your Frank. I know. It's not your Frank. It's not your Frank. It's not your Frank. It's not your Frank.

Don't fuck with me. Don't fuck with me by night you. It's not your Frank. It's not your Frank. It's not your Frank. Cook them okay? Cook them okay? Thank you.

That was titled food grill bunting. That was written by you Wags. Oh yeah sure. I'll write one on occasion. Wags wrote our bit. My friend Adria also texted me Wags. This picture of Shaggy. Which you look exactly like.

I do look like I'm wearing Shaggy cosplay. Likey. Rot-Rot. Hey Scoob. Hey there Scoob. What is physically what does he do? He's kind of like a hippie. Yeah sure.

I thought it was more like wearing, because I got these brown pants. I got this green shirt. I was like I'm kind of in link cosplay. But it is more Shaggy. Oh that's good. Thank you. So Mitch go ahead and Google hot dog.

Alright here's my work. Here's my work for the bit. I'm going to go ahead and use my preferred search engine. Microsoft Bing. Ooh will we have anything different? Well there are a few of you. Wow. Wow.

Did you say sorry? Is that... Are you getting booed because it's Bill Gates? That's who's here. We were right near the Bill and Melinda Gates. What is that? Museum? Foundation. Museum.

Wow. The Bill and Melinda Gates Museum. Bill Gates glasses. Is a keyboard. Nick, there's something interesting hot dog news. I got to say this much. Yes. Let me ask you this.

Do you Google hot dog news or do you Google hot dog and then click on the news tab? I Google hot dog and I click on the news tab. Okay got it. That's what I'm doing. Hot dog or hot dogs? It appears out when I Google hot dog as a man in a hot dog suit.

That's news. I mean I guess that's news. We were saying that there's a Jeffrey Epstein wing of the Bill Gates foundation. He was friends with him. Oh my fault. Alright here we go. The first thing that pops up

and look, you know it's big news when it's posted twice from Yahoo News and HuffPost the best and worst hot dogs at the grocery store ranked by nutritionalists. I'm seeing that too. Nutritionist.

Oh weird. Mine's different. Mine says nutritionalists. Are you going to click through that link? Let us know what's in there. It's a Bing Google difference I bet. Here we go. Do we all support nutritionalism?

Whoa. Okay here we go. Oh man. This article. Oh man read the whole thing silently to yourself and go whoa. Here's how the article goes. Okay so hot dogs

aren't the world's healthiest food. Okay. But admit it, if they weren't on the menu it'd be like losing a friend. What the fuck? Jesus Christ. That's how it starts. It'd be like if your friend killed himself. There's a liger.

The big one says if your friend ran away. Fortunately with a growing number of healthier hot dogs hitting supermarket shelves it's become possible to indulge and still go easy on your body. No thanks. You just need to know what to look out for. First things first.

This is what gets me outraged. Avoid traditional or ballpark labeled hot dogs. A New York based nutritionalist told HuffPost. These are usually the highest in sodium and contain the most additives in preservatives.

Why? This is one of those ones where I just worry if you're going to have a hot dog I feel like just have the one you want to have, right? It's one thing if you're having hot dogs with regularity, but if it's like hey this is my occasional treat I'm having a cookout or it's a holiday

and I'm going to treat myself to some just have the one you want. Might as well. They've been linked to certain types to rectal cancer? I don't know how to say it. Kolo rectal cancer? Someone's cheering that? Jesus Christ.

Okay. This is another thing there's no real lists here. I can't find the... It's just sort of tips. They're teasing it as a listicle, but in actuality they're just sort of saying what to look for.

An occasional processed veggie dog isn't likely to be harmful. That's the best you can give me. An occasional processed veggie dog isn't likely to be harmful? This article is going to be like the best hot dogs are like organic ones that have less...

it's like a nutritionist being like did you know that a carrot is healthier than an ice cream cone? Yeah, I know. Actually, news to me. Mitch, do you have another headline on your shirt? I've got more headlines. I'm looking at the other ones now.

It's clickbait. That's all I'm saying. I've got one here. I've got a good one too. Go for it. Jimmy Fallon devours hot dog after dipping it in beer at Rangers' Game. So what's your source there? TMZ.

Okay, so TMZ. So I have a different source here. Harvey, you wouldn't believe it. Jimmy dipped his hot dog in a beer at the game. And he simply devoured it after that. This is media bias in action. I have a few different sources here. Yahoo News.

He demolishes hot dog, chugs beer at Lightning Rangers' Game. That's one angle. USA Today. Jimmy Fallon tried and failed to eat a hot dog and chug a beer while cheering on Rangers in Game 5. A third source on the same level as those, BroBible.

Dude, that's my number one source. That's my Bible, bro. He tried slamming his hot dog and beer at the Rangers' Game failed in spectacular fashion. So yeah, it seems like maybe he did a bad job. I don't know. If I ever go to court, dude,

I put my hand on the BroBible. Yeah, TMZ. A horrible news source. Good way to find out your friend has died, is TMZ. Oh, what? More truth? It happened, folks.

It happened. Let's see what else we got here. Fox News. Fox News has meet the American who invented the clean, wholesome corn dog. You know what? They're not saying anything about the hearings. Interesting.

While everyone's talking about the January 6th hearings, they're talking about friggin' corn dogs. It was a protest. These people aren't pro-life. Let's have a hearing for people who have a protest on the sidewalk with some signs.

It's ridiculous. Relish this. A guy who sells his own homemade hot dogs ketchup and mustard on the... and then it's dot, dot, dot. This is Syracuse. A guy who sells his own homemade hot dogs ketchup and mustard on the side of a busy road.

This is in Rochester. I need his homemade ketchup and mustard. Right? That's maybe part of the experience, though. I feel like this one. Michelle Yao is... I've heard it as Yo, but I'm not in the show. Michelle Yao calls hot dogs scene

the most beautiful love story in everything, everywhere, all at once. Oh, man. I haven't seen it yet. I need to see it. I really enjoyed it. Natalie and I saw it together. And it's... I mean, just like fucking...

It's one of those ones where that budget that they were able to even fucking make it is astonishing in and of itself, and then it also hits all these emotional beats. It's great. A lot of fun. I can see it. All right. Check it out. While recommending movies, recommend this SF crowd.

RRR, if you haven't seen RRR, check it out. Fucking incredible. We said that last night. Here we go. Last one. This is good. Okay, great. Truck Crash spills 15,000 pounds of pink hot dog filling all over a highway.

Wow. People are headed out. I'm sorry in advance if this news story puts a damper on your next cookout. Why is every news article funny? Why is every news article funny? Why is every news article funny? Can it just be the news?

Can it just be the news? A truck carrying 50,000 pounds... A truck carrying 50,000 pounds of hot dog filling Crash on I-70 as it was traveling through Westmoreland County in Pennsylvania, according to ABC7 News. The authorities have called in the Doughboys

to clean it up. And they're fat friend Mookie? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Wasted hot dog. They had to throw away the hot dog filling, they told us. Unfortunately, everyone was safe, but the hot dog filling didn't make it. It's like, yeah. Yeah, don't put it back.

They're like scrambling. They're like, shit, get it back. Get it back in. Before our boss comes. We're fucked. I have one I want to hit real quick because I think this is maybe a bing-exclusive. Frank Verder's Borg Union

or Frank's and Sour Cream Sauce questionable Tribune hot dog recipes over the years. This was published today. And this is a bunch of old recipes using hot dogs. This one calls for Frank Verder's cooked in butter with shallots and garlic

and Bordeaux. And then this one is a supper salad bowl which seems to be a salad that consists of a half pound Frank Verder's a half cup ranch dressing a quarter cup a chopped green pepper and one cup of cottage cheese

as well as one cup grated raw turnip and one cup grated raw carrot and mayonnaise. The Ivers recipes in there uncooked on a plate no salts

acres of mayonnaise I should we take some questions? That was Let Me Be Frank. Wow. Hey, how about Nick Weigher? Enough for Weigher. How about these guys?

Folks, just like a restaurant about your feedback let's open up the feedback. We're going to take three audience questions. Remember, there's a bag of frozen chowder on the line. Someone's getting some frozen chowder and our Erdbrink is here. Big hand for Emma, everybody. Hello.

All right. Thank you. It's melting. It's getting squishy. Oh, man. All right, I got Aubrian, Tee, Hailey R and William N. If you want to come over here.

So I guess you're going to cluster. There's some stairs next to where Emma is standing stage right to your left and you want to maneuver your way over there. See some people moseying down. Oh, a nice little wave of friendly wave. A friendly wave will not win you this bag of chowder. In fact, it may disqualify you.

Yes. All right, this is Aubrey. Hi, Aubrey. I'm Death Lehem on the Dosecourt. Wow. Someone from the Dosecourt actually sold me and another person here on the Dosecourt sold me tickets because they got COVID.

Oh, my God. So good for us, bad for them. But I told them that I would ask their question for them. So it's a normal name, Jason. They got it from me on the last tour. No, that's not the question. Are you able to get them the chowder

if need be? I mean, Anyway, the question they want to be asked is, if you were going to eat dog shit, what breed of dog would you want to eat it from? Thank you. Do you think it would taste better

if there was come on it too? Boston Terrier in yes. No, no. So normal name Jason from the Dosecourt. His favorite thing to get at a seafood restaurant is a seafood tower. So he wanted to know what other type of food do you think

would go well in tower form? Wow. That's a great question. I do like the form factor of the tower. And it is, that's a dazzling presentation. You get that seafood tower. I've been to places where they do like an appetizer

sampler like on a tower. So that's a cool answer. You know it's a fun thing that they do and I haven't been there for years. I'll probably never go back. But next to the old upright citizens brigade theater the three of us spent many a night.

Oh, the laughs generated. All the gaffaws. Anyway, it was right next to this bar called Birds and when they served onion rings they'd serve them on a little spindle. It would be like a paper towel roll like one of those child toys where you put the little rings on it.

That was a lot of fun. That was a great little stack. That's my version of putting a ring on it. Did my hand taste okay? My lips are numb. Tower. A fun tower food. I immediately went to mozzarella sticks. I think it would be fun to have mozzarella sticks.

Sure. A seafood tower is it, is the actual seafood piled into a tower or are you talking about a tiered plate? It's like tiered plates, yeah. I know it already. I'm sure it exists, but a leaning tower of pizzas.

Oh, that's fun. That's the right answer. Everyone would like that. A big pizza and then a smaller one and a smaller one until you got a little bagel bite on top. That's great. Some presents underneath. Is there like a dessert you could put in tower form?

I'm wondering if you like had like a bunch of it like a cupcake sampler. Like a bunch of donuts might be fun. Different tiers of donuts. Or just one big spindle of donuts. A wedding cake, speaking of putting a ring on it. There you go. I think charcuterie might be good.

Oh, that's a great answer. More accessible. If you have the answer, why the fuck are you asking us? It wasn't my question. It was Jason's question. He didn't ask me. Well, thank you for relaying it. He's got a fucking COVID brain.

Hope they get better. Thank you, Aubrey. It's a little charcuterie challenge. I'd climb up that thing like King Kong himself. Now, are you... You felt like that was not good enough during the chowder. You want to wait until you hear all the questions. All the questions in the chowder will be awarded.

Okay, great. I think a chicken wing tower would be pretty cool. Anyway, this is Haley. Hey, I got bad news. Emma might win the fucking chowder. That was good. Hey, I'm Haley. And I'm going to be totally honest that this is his question. I submitted it, so...

Wait, what the hell is going on? The person behind you. Yeah, we're husband and wife. Oh, my God. You know what? Give him the mic. He has to ask it. Hey, no, I'm reading it. Okay, go let her ask it.

Okay, what's a chain restaurant item? You would want to see how it's made. And what's one you would not want to see how it's made? Really good question. That's a great question. I'm curious as to... And I thought this would be a fun thing if we did any sort. And the issue is there's so many

like fucking brand approvals and corporate, you know, fucking sign-offs you need for something like this to happen. But I was like, I'd want to see kind of a how it's made of fucking like a Cheddar Bay biscuit at Red Lobster. Like, I want to see that process involved with that. Because I know probably what happens

is they arrive frozen at Red Lobster and they heat them up in an oven. But I'd like to see the place where they prepare these, you know, several steps removed. How do they make these from scratch? How do they scale them? For me, I'd say something that I'd want to see get made is any item from that

semen cookbook. Nick, this... For me, look, there's a couple things that come to mind and, like, to me, immediately, I'm like, Big Mac or Big Mac Sauce

or the secret recipe from the kernel. I don't want to see how that gets... I want to see how it's made. I want to see what the deal is. Or just Coca-Cola. I want to see all the ingredients of Coca-Cola. You want a little bit of a mystery. Me too. I love it.

She's right. I want a mystery unveiled. You want, like, a magician's secrets revealed sort of thing. Yes. I want someone wearing a black mask. We can't see who it is. And it takes off. It's the kernel. Yeah. I think those... Like, all in that realm, I think...

Something I wouldn't want to see. Books, you can go. I'm trying to think of something I wouldn't want to see. I'm racking my brain here, guys. I mean, I feel like it would have to be something that was kind of spectacular where you're like, how do they do that? Because if you go to, like, El Pollo Locos, like, you see them grill the chicken or, like, you know...

Love that. Chipotle and the commercials when they, like, make the guacamole fresh. It's like, you see them make that. I know, you know, I know how it's made, but what I want to see it. Like, something that goes inside something, they're like, how do they get that inside that? What is that?

That's a great question. I'm stressed. Buki wins the clam chowder. Maybe like a... That's a great, great answer. Oh, that's a great one. That's a great, great answer. And especially the new...

Or, like, little Caesars where they do the new ones where there's, like, pepperonis inside the crust. Show me how you stuff that crust. Yeah. You do? Who the... Who are you? Little Caesar. It's annoyed. Yeah, damn it.

They're sitting together, the annoyed and little Caesar. They're up to something no good. Now, they wouldn't want to see part of it. Like, for me, this is one of those ones where, like, I'll just... Seeing something being made in an unappetizing way doesn't make me not want to eat it. It usually makes you want to eat it more.

Yeah, so, like, I don't care. Like, the pink slime chicken nuggets. Yeah, I still like chicken nuggets. Like, now that that's not going to work on me. So there's nothing where I'm like, oh, I'd have an aversion of seeing that outside of any sort of, you know, gristly fucking animal brutalization. Sure. Which happens at factory farms.

And that, like, contributed to my nugget. I feel bad. Sure. Like, I sit down, like, hello. Right. What's your name? Oh, Clucky. That's a cute name. Nice to meet you. You have a family, okay? Okay.

Your son is a vet. Okay, interesting. A veteran or a veterinarian? Veterinarian. Veterinarian. My father's a veteran. God bless all the veterinarians, you boys' food man. Wow. I mean that.

Are there any veterinarians in the house tonight? Stand up. Have they done, like, an animal doctor movie? Like, I don't mean, like, like someone who works, is like a doctor do little. I mean, like, an animal who is a doctor. Huh. Well, no.

You know, it's like a little pause or something, and it's like a little dog who knows how to treat people. Certainly there's a children's animated movie like that. But you're talking mainstream, big budget Hollywood flick? Yeah, like a hard-art movie. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

Dr. Paws, like, performing a tracheectomy. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Good question. Great question. Yeah, I don't ... I struggle with the aversion. There isn't something where I'm like, I really wouldn't want to see that.

You know what I want to see? What's going on with that McFlurry machine? Oh yeah. Speaking of gremlins, what gremlins are inside that thing? What are in there? I probably would be grossed out if I saw the inside of that and just saw like a fucking, you know, spider nest or whatever is lurking inside. Just a bunch of black mold over the parts

that, you know, fucking dairy goes through. Yeah. Probably would be pretty revolting. The men in black bugs. All right, wait, until your husband has a question too? Yeah, so this is William. So you got two in the queue? Yeah, they have different last names, so it confused me.

Wow, we picked ... You cheated the algorithm. We picked two? We didn't even plan on that. Wow. I think we have to allow it. Yeah, I think so too. They didn't really circumvent the system.

We'll allow it. Okay, all right, let's hear it. Have you ever heard of fucking food that has been talked about in the podcast before? Sure. No details, it's fine. You mean actually fucking food to be clear, okay? Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if you've been like fucking food. No, the action of fucking food. Yes, yes, of course. So I have a fucking Mary kill for you guys. Wow. Del Taco, chili cheese fries. Taco Bell, cheesy gordita crunch. And the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich.

So one of these ... No option to eat any of them. Yeah, we can't eat any of them. I mean, if you want to do this part of those, that's fine. I guess kill could be eat. Fuck Mary kill. Man, cheesy gordita crunch. You gotta ...

You gotta fuck it. You gotta fuck the CGC. It's good, but you're not going to eat it anyway. That's the one you gotta fuck. It just has like a tortilla wrap that you could use. You could use it. You can't play too big, yes. So you guys are thinking about it more aesthetically,

like actually physically what would feel good to fuck. Yeah, I think so. Not as if you think of it as a person, like the cheesy gordita crunch is reliable, so you marry it. Well, that's a different thing. We're talking about like it turns into a person. You're like, what would feel good on my hard cock?

Yeah. No, I think we're talking ... To be clear on the question, you're talking about like literally doing this, right? I think it's open for interpretation. I think it's an embodiment of what this item represents. I mean, it could be either way, an interpretation physically either way.

Whatever you want to do. It turns into a person. Got it. I'm looking at all three of these options, and I think all three of them are just like a big fat guy. Yes. So just a big orgy with all three of them.

Yeah, which ... Yeah. Chili cheese fries would just become me. I think I would have to kill the chili cheese fries, Nick, and I'm only saying this because it seems hard to fuck and it feels like it would burn your dick. Yeah, it'd be hard to fuck.

I had the same thought. Those are good. Yeah. I'd kill chili cheese fries as well. It's just the item of the three of them that I care about the least. Yeah. I like their chili cheese fries, which you add a little sour cream and some nice tomatoes.

I didn't mention that I like tomatoes. Those are good. The sour cream will cool down. It might be a little bit more fuckable. It might be more fuckable. But we're back to physically fucking it. I've only been in that zone. Yeah, I think I agree with you. I think we're on the same page here,

and that leaves you marrying that spicy chicken sandwich. I'm marrying the ... Are you coming home with me, baby? I'm marrying cheesy gordita crunch. Wow. Love of my life. Wow. Well, you know what? Marry my best friend.

But, look, any of these marriages are going to end tragically. I'm going to be on date line. I don't know what happens to the spicy chicken sandwich. One day, she just ran away. Folks, that's our show. Mitch, you guessed the chowder. The couple guessed the chowder

because there's two of you. Wow. You guys can share that bag of chowder. We'll keep the other lukewarm bag of chowder. I'll walk up front and I'll throw it at you. Thank you so much. Thank you, Seattle. I hope you're staying around for the next show.

One more time for Mookie Blake Locke. Have a heartbreak. Thanks to everyone here at the Neptune Theater until next time. For the smooth man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. Thank you. See you in a minute. Hi.

Do you want more DOE BOYS? Let's check out the DOE SCORED, our Discord server. You get DOE SCORED access plus the DOE BOYS double when you join the Platinum Play Club at patreon.com. That's patreon.com. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.