Doughboys - Jack in the Box 3 with Johnny Pemberton

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

Johnny Pemberton (@johnny_pemberton, Fallout) joins the 'boys to talk Bone Temple, Chicago adventures, and tea before a review of Jack In The Box. Plus, a special edition of Slop Quiz.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.ithaca.edu/about/historyhttps://www.johnfry.com/pages/JackintheBox.htmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ithaca_College_alumnihttps://www.mashed.com/1421139/rise-fall-resugrence-jack-in-the-box/https://vocal.media/fyi/strange-origins-of-the-jack-in-the-boxhttps://investors.jackinthebox.com/our-company/about-us/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a Headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash Do Boys Media. In 1892, William Egbert founded the Ithaca Conservatory of Music in upstate New York. In the 20th century, its curriculum expanded to the full spectrum of liberal arts, and in 1960, its current campus was constructed. The private institution has birthed the wide swath of famous alumni,

including former Disney CEO Bob Iger, actors David Boreanas and CCH Pounder, and multiple members of the sketch group The Birthday Boys, including Jeff Dutton, David Ferguson, Mike Hanford, Tim Calpacchus, and Chris Van Arts Dalen, though interestingly, not Matt Kowalek, who attended the University of Texas at Austin. But the most notable of these notables is no doubt the creator, showrunner, and host of the still enduring sci-fi anthology show, The Twilight Zone, Rod Serling. The series, famed for its template of Morality Plays with Proterold, Shamalan-style twist endings produced countless episodes that became pop culture touchstones.

And among those was a season three episode titled, with pointed irony, it's a good life, about a young boy with godlike power who a town's population sought to placate for their own survival. In the episode's second half, a drunken man verbally attacks the boy, leading the godchild to transform him into a children's toy, the French call Diablet en Bout, or Devil in a Box. And it's the English translation of this phrase that became the name of a drive-in burger joint launched in San Diego in 1951 by Robert O. Peterson. After nearly self-immolating via a fatal E. coli outbreak in the 1990s, the chain reinvented itself by leaning into its namesake toy box,

creating a self-aware mascot that predicted the absurdism of early internet culture. Today, this budget-friendly chain that sold off its subsidiary Del Taco in December of 2025 has locations in 21 states, though none in Rod Serling's alma mater of Ithaca, New York. Spooky. Still, with its surprising survival and zeitgeisty L.A. Lakers sponsorship that gives free tacos for home wins, one can imagine founder Peterson would look down and say,

It's a good life. This week on Doe Boys, we return once again to Jack in the Box. Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast, about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, 28-millimeter dongs later, the Bone Thimble, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. You chose that of, I guess, whatever you want to do, I guess. Just saw Bone Temple loved it and thought of this roast.

Anyway, hope you cross enemy lines for some Canadian tour dates soon. Barry Lamb or buddy Barry Lamb. I like Barry. 28 centimeters there? Hey, it doesn't mean that Barry can't have a horrible roast. I think 28 centimeters would be pretty meaty. That's pretty big. I think 28 millimeters, which is pretty small-modic.

It is 28 millimeters. I think this is, that's about 28 centimeters, right? That's fucking huge. I think it'd be, yeah, I think it'd be pretty decent. Maybe it's actually about that. I think it's about that. You're in business. You're in big business.

You might be an alpha with that. An alpha. Oh, man, speaking of, speaking of 28 years later. Have you watched 28 years later or 28 years later, Bone Temple? No. There's a guy. I think you would love them. There's a character named that the alpha, Samson is a, is a name that,

one of the characters Was it Ray Fines? No. He is a... Quite biblical in some ways. Yes, quite biblical. He has long hair, but he is a nude zombie

who roams the woods and he is extremely, he's played by like a six foot eight actor. He's strong. And he's very strong. And so his move is he will put his fingers and thumb into your eyes and mouth

like it's a bowling ball and then sever your head from your shoulders, leaving your spine dangling like a sub-zero fatality. Nice. Yeah, it's pretty, Roodle.

Family movie. What a way to go. What a way to go. I mean, you would, like, for, you know that there's a few seconds where your head is detached and you know, you know what I mean. But you know what? People say that, but no, but how do they know? That is a good thing.

It was someone like talking when that happened. That's a great. Hey, guys just, like, no one actually knows that, right? I think that there are people who get, like, decapitated and like their eyes. They're like wink at you or something like that. Isn't that just twitching? They're not saying like our father who are not. I mean, like, there was a guy who was, like, I remember reading about this, maybe it's apocryphal, but it was someone who was like, it was going to be beheaded, I think, of the French Revolution.

And he had a friend, an onlooker at his execution. And he said, count how many times I blink after my head is severed from my body. And the guy blinked like eight times or something like that because he was just trying to see how long he was still alive for. So I don't know what that, I don't know if that counts any. I don't know that means anything. I don't think it does, yeah. Hey, double, double idea. We get beheaded?

We get beheaded. Yeah, beheaded for what, for the podcast? Yeah, for crimes against culture. What's your price for being beheaded for content? I'm going to make sure my mom and sister are good. So I would say, I don't know, like $600,000. $600,000? That's not enough, man.

Yeah, I think it asks for more. That's going to go fast. I'll get my agent and lawyer, our lawyer. We share a lawyer, Nick and I. Yeah, they won't do it. anything weird with the money at all. They definitely won't not take it all and act like, oh, we, he said, he said nothing. He said nothing. Anyway, the alpha, in addition to being a, a violent menace who is pacified over the course of this movie, spoiler alert, but not fully. It's, it's just like that's part of the art. Moon. Uh, yes. Uh, if you see the movie, you know, you know, I just did that. But he also has this gigantic, um, yeah,

the monster energy can sized hog. It's swinging? I would say it's bigger than a monster energy drink can. This is like a real guy? Well, it's apparently

a prosthetic hog. But then the guy was like, I actually do have a really big dick. What did you say that? Yeah. No, no, I would be honest about it.

They actually give me a smaller prosthetic than my real dick. If you say actually, that just negates anything that comes after it. Yes. Yeah. I'm actually not a murderer.

I'm actually, you know, I'm actually a pretty good guy. I've heard that from you before. I'm actually... God, can we actually say, I actually have a big dick. He's like, he's like, it's actually...

Yeah, he was like, it's like, it's pretty comparative. I think that's what he was trying to say. It was like, it was like, right? Didn't he say that? It was like close to what it is. I didn't see this interview, but I love to hear it. That sucks. Or maybe, I thought that I heard this from you.

I feel like you know all this news. No, I didn't. I have not, I think the actor does a great job. I just, I have, I have not seen anything about his actual anatomy. It's great. I loved, I loved 20 years later is one of my favorite movies of last year. than 28 years later, Bone Temple, I loved. Started the year off good.

Our buddy, a good friend of the show, Jordan Morris, we were talking about this with him. And just like, like, hey, I'm a big fan of both sinners and weapons. I'm glad those movies did very well. I'm glad these talented filmmakers made original ideas and they resonated with audiences. But I feel like 28 years later is, to me, I like more than both of those films,

which are films I really enjoy. Yeah, yeah. And I was really, I wish to have the same sort of success. Not even, I mean, I don't, I don't, I was crying. I was crying like a baby. Really? I think it's a bummer. The end of the movie, the end of 28 years later, I cried like a baby. It's like, they do a good job.

I'll tell you, Danny Boyle, of course, is good. And then Alex Garland wrote the script. And I like, I'm a Garland fan. I like Garland. Garland does good stuff. And then Garland wrote the script for Bone Temple, which is directed by Nita Costa, which is another, like, great film. I loved it. It was great.

Yeah. Great job. But I'll say this. Like, this is, there's no better way to say it, but there's like a thing that in the third act where I'm like, this is such a funny, weird thing for like your movie to build up to this moment. Sure, yeah. I think you feel the same way. But it's an awesome set piece.

It's so wonderful. Is it a temple made of bones? There is a bone temple. You will see a bone temple. And you know what? That's not even a spoiler. They show it on the poster. The title is the bone temple.

So not really spoiler that there's a bone temple in the movie. But yeah, you do get boned at a certain point. You get bone. Yeah. And you know what I say, bone appetit. No bones to pick with the bone temple. I agree with. them. You know, we watched a lot, we were in Chicago this last week. We watched a lot of,

you said it right too. Chicago? Chicago. Chicago. We were down to Versi and, you know, picked up a couple of guys down there who had a couple of hot dogs with some good guys, you know, we're buying a new car for the, for her mom. She's got a, she can't drive a stick no more. So, you know, she fucked up her arm. Sorry, she messed up her fucking arm when she was bowling or something. We got to get a good, you know, you need a good car. I can't. I I can't tell you. I can do it. I got it again. I tell you that much. You got fucking go out again. Yep.

That's an authentic accent from a real Midwest. It's close. It's close. Yeah. Technically. The Chicago accent is weird, though. Chicago's not like, if I do it any longer, it would devolve into, like, Wisconsin or something like that. Speaking of him, I'm a good car. You got to get her, I can't do it. You got to get a good car. You're from, which of the Twin Cities are you from? I'm from a town called Rochester.

Oh, wow. Rochester. You know where the Mayo Clinic is? Oh, yeah. Yep. Very exciting town, Rochester. Pretty disappointed. You have? We were saying that it.

We thought it was a real Mayo and the Mayo Clinic. Oh, right, yes. Mains. You guys are mayonnaise guys. Yeah, that's the idea. Mains. We're mayonnaise guys. We're fucking mayonnaise guys, yeah.

Awful stuff going on in Minnesota, but you said your family's all good, which is good to hear. Emma is out. Emma's out. She is visiting. family this week, aka too high to record. So in her stead, we have the great Sam Rogic engineering for us. Hi, Sam. What's up, Sam?

Hey, guys. Thanks for having me. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Another Midwestern, or you're from Wisconsin. I grew up outside Chicago. Chicago, I apologize. I thought there was a Milwaukee connection. I guess I'm wrong.

My parents live up in northern Wisconsin. Got it, God. That's what it is. I'm in North or County or something. North or there, two hours south of Lake Superior in a town called Tomahawk. Yeah, real pretty out there, you know. It's pretty pretty pretty. Winners are hard.

You know, a lot of good people out there. We always tried to go up to our county, but we couldn't go last year, you know, because dad had a problem with his leg. It's all walking around there, you know. It's all the fudge shops. He just can't go without having fudge. He's diabetic. Type three, he got it.

First one, first type three ever in America, I guess. So revolutionary. It is. It is such a funny passive accent. Like throwing things away, as opposed to, like New York or Boston, which is aggressive, I feel like. Yeah, because everyone in the Midwest is just so sad and they know they can't affect anything. So I should say, oh, well, well, yeah, the house burned down.

We're doing great. We're doing great. We've got a bunch of space heaters donated from the church. So, you know, but dog, he didn't make it. You know, we're going to have some, we're going to have new tacos tonight. I like the idea of a Chicago guy's trying to find a new car for their mom, too. It seems like a suit. It seems like it could be the plot line to the Super Fans movie likes.

Never made Super Fans movie. They never made the Super Fans movie. It was. Wow. I've heard, you know, the Super, the Bears guys. Oh, right. Yeah, the Bears guys. That's like, that was my introduction to that accent as a kid is watching that.

Oh, yeah, same. 100%. Yeah, because it's not the same as Minnesota. It's definitely it's that. D-D-D-D-D-D-R-D. Yeah, yeah. A little, yeah, it is a little, it's Minnesota even more passive than Chicago, I guess. Yeah, but Chicago, yeah.

Chicago, I think it comes from a Polish. It's like a Polish integration. It's got to be. Something like that. Because all those guys are Polish. They did, they wrote, I think Robert Smagel wrote a superfans movie. And you'll like it that. It ends with all the super fans in a bus racing in the Indy 500 at the end of it, which I thought is really good.

Pretty good. It would be them all having heart attacks. Oh, I think there are heart attacks throughout the, I mean, I think the heart attack are sprinkled throughout the movie. The heart attack thing is such a, that's funny, man. I forgot about that. I haven't thought about the heart attacks. They always have their pounding their fucking chest in there. Dicka.

The Dicka. Dicka. Who's now we found out as MAGA. Dicka is MAGA. Yeah. I mean, not a real surprise there. Of course. Yeah.

There's so many people where you can't even look into it because you just know. Yeah. We know too much about people. I don't need to know all this stuff. I would be more worried about Dicka if he wasn't MAGA. Like that would be weird. Because I would think like all this time he was suppressing like this thing he had, you know, Dick is out there with a cigar and a mustache saying,

ACAB. What's going on? I'd be like, oh, my God, it must have been hard for him coaching the Bears football team all that long. Acab. And having to like, Hey, Cap, hey, dip, hey, dip. Hey, hey, you still love the super fans.

Love Chicago. We had a good time in Chicago. We did. Dick's restaurant is gone now, right? We had talked about going to the Michael Jordan restaurant. I believe Dicka's restaurant is closed. Harry Carey's restaurant is still open and Michael Jordan's restaurant still in one.

Went to the Harry Carey Steakhouse at the airport. Wow. Oh, wow. Like forever ago, it was one of the best steakhouse's experience I've ever had in my entire life. At the airport. Well, it's next to the airport. Next to the airport.

It's nice. It's like a real, they have all this, all this, what's the baseball team? All the memorabilia up there. He was a Cubs announcer, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all this Cub stuff, all this legitimate Cub stuff. We had a waiter who was straight up Italian guy

whose accent was like just the most like all right gentlemen now you're ready to have a steak tonight I love it just talking about his dog like I have an Italian mastiff

it takes his bone it cracks the bone it's like I can remember it so vividly forever ago I was like oh my God this is the best waiter I have ever had

in my entire life it's supposed to be and the Michael Jordan Steakhouse is supposed to be decent too right it's not supposed it's like they're like fancy age

it's okay yeah uh wags wearing a white socks. It's true. From Texas Smith. Sox. Show them what's on the back there. Oh, yes.

I had nothing to do with this. Mitch got the customization done. But yes. It does say, it does say Tiger on the back and the number zero. So there you go. That was actually, that was Texas's choice.

But the zero was my idea. I thought zero was a funny. I almost, I went with the big Hertz number, but I was like, I really wanted to get zero. I think zero is a funny jersey number. Do they have double numbers?

You also could have asked me. That's, I want to get a double zero. we thought we'd just give you zero. Also, he told me he was like, no, you can't do 60. He was like, there's not going to pass. I wouldn't have done 69. It's a number. I mean, you can't.

It's just a number. It's just a number. But I don't know. What would you, what would you have chosen? I'll tell you what I would have chosen. What's that? 28. My birthday is a 28th and 28 years later.

Isn't it also some famous athletes 28? I'm sure. It's got to be someone, right? Man, if you got bone temple and 28. Fuck, that'd be awesome. That would be a fucking cool jersey. I want to get a little. Yes.

Please. Please send us a bone temple. Please send us bone temple jerseys. Make me a Vikings one that says special teams and double zero. Amelia, we had fun in Chicago. You're also now streaming balatro. Shout out your Twitch channel. Follow me at Skidmark official on Twitch.

I'm streaming balatro. Skidmark official. Yes. That's a good name. Thank you. So people know that you need the official at it because it's, Skidmark was taken. No shit.

Yeah, so I just, I did my first stream last night. Wow. I had some loyal viewers. How about that? It was a lot of fun. You should say what your gimmick is. I dress up like Jimbo the clown and other Balacho joker's. Very cool.

Very cool cosplay you're doing on there. We watched a bunch of movies with Amelia. You ghosted us on your last night. You went out and partied, which is understandable. but we never got to watch LA Confidential with you. But we should give a rundown of the movies that we did end up watching for people who don't have the double. The AirB, yes. All of our Chicago live episodes are in the Patreon feed.

Patreon.com slash Doboy. Send up for the Do Boys double if you want to hear all those. Dude, you ghosted your bosses. But we're back in the Airbnb with us and Gabris and Emma. And I think the Doe Boys Chicago-Chicago, Airbnb trilogy. Chicago Doe. Was Minority Report? No, what, pain and gain.

Oh, fuck, I forgot about pain and gain. Painting gain twice. You and I watched it twice, basically. I forgot. It's a tetralogy. What is that? Painting game. Painting gain's a Michael Bay movie.

It's great. It's great. I haven't seen that. It's weird. It's a fun one. It's good. It's like the Rock's best performance. It is.

Rock's good in. A rock is good in Painting Game. Play's a funny, dumb guy. Yeah, pain and gain. I forgot about that night one. It plays. Yeah. Don't get yourself in trouble.

You're working. Oh, yeah, I guess he is kind of a big deal. The Rock. What did you say? I didn't even hear you. I said he plays a dumb guy. Maybe I shouldn't say that. The Rock is dumb.

I mean, I think honestly, he's probably not dumb. He's probably a pretty smart guy, it's my guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll say people who are dumb, but he's, I think he's one of them. I don't think he's one of them. He seems smart. People call me dumb all the time. That's true.

I have no objection. Why they call you that? Yeah, where's that coming from? What is it? Is it because of the characters you play? Yeah, some characters I play. The quadrology was. Pain and Gain Night 1, Minority Report

Night 2, night 3, of course, we pivoted over to help me out here, Mitch. Copland. And then night 4, we finished it off with the Waterboy. We finished out with the Water Boy. You missed the Waterboy. I missed Waterboy. You've seen it before. No, I haven't. All right, so you got some homework to do. You've got to watch Waterboy and LA Confidential. L.A. Confidential is

great. We won a lot of Oscars, didn't it? Yes, Kevin Spacey, I believe, did win an Oscar. Kevin Spacey. I'm not, I know. Kim Basinger won for Best Supporting Actress. I'm trying to think... Did Spacey win or no? I don't think...

Spacey won for... Spacey's Oscar wins, I believe, are for Usual Suspects and then American Beauty. And he's up for one this year for tap dancing in Tel Aviv. Right, yeah, yeah. Which we watched on a two-hour loop. We did... She put on Kevin Spacey tap dancing in Tel Aviv...

So that's another part of... Play it over and over and go over again. The Chicago Dose series, if you want to watch along, is put on Kevin Spacey tap dancing and television. of Eve and just leave it on a loop for the length of a feature. Oh, yeah, yeah, then you're in. Sounds like a clockwork orange kind of thing, you know? It kind of was that.

It was, yeah. It was pretty bad. Kevin. And you did, you did strap yourself to a seat and keep your eyes open while watching it for whatever reason. Yeah, well, I just brought that gear with me just in case. Mitch, you got a drop to play. Oh, Amelia, hit him with the drop.

I don't know if you have some dumb song that you sing. No, you don't even. No, we don't have a song for the line of your television. You just this. It's the Weiger Challenge. Weiger. Wiger. Wiger.

Wiger. Wiger. Uyger. Uyger now. Round two. Fight. Tiger. Tiger.

Tiger. Knee. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger. Tiger.

Challenge. Challenge. Challenge. Challenge. That's why you stay silent on the road. You come up with a scene genius ideas. You win. Perfect.

Wow. That's pretty good. Well, well crafted. That's really good. It was pretty good. I just going to say that it's always embarrassing when we play drops in front of our funny guests who are being patient. Yes. And then also to Amelia, who is filling in for Emma just holding up her phone playing and looking like she doesn't give a shit.

What? Sam and Amelia could not be more checked out of this record. It just felt a little bit different. I don't know. 50 minutes in the TV. I think it's the jack in the box. It might be the jack in the box. It might be the jack in the box.

Yeah. Yeah, it's that. You know what I don't like? What's that? Here's something I don't like. What don't you like? I don't like at you. This feels like this should be a segment.

What I don't like? Here's something the Spoon Man doesn't like. Lines at the airport. Lines of the airport are out of control. They are out of control. Right down the barrel of your camera, Mitch. Here's some things I don't like. Bill O'Reilly presents.

Sushi. I'm sick of freaking sushi. It's raw fish. I'm not paying for that with rice. That's cheap food. I love sushi. I like lines at the airport. You don't do you?

Wait, what? I like, you and I have clear. So we never, we've gone, we've gone clear. We never have to wait. in line. Remember did pre? I do pre-check because I find pre-check is faster than clear. We've pre-plus clear. We've gone the full. It's a credit card benefit. I get a clear reimbursed on my MX. The MX will reimburse clear if you don't have it. Worth it. But here's what I don't like is a special. If you have like a cool restaurant in your city, for instance, whatever,

pizzerie or Gina, I know, but it's already a chain. But at the airport, I saw the Billy Goat, the Billy Goat Tavern at the airport. That's not, come on. You don't like a dilute. version at the airport. Come on. What are we doing here? Salt Lake in Austin, stuff like that. 100%. Like the local thing. Right.

In Minneapolis, they have the French Meadow bakery in the airport. That to me, it just feels like it's about, it's getting diluted and it's going to get worse. L.A., they got the cloak and dagger club at the airport. Yeah. I go in there. I go in, like, I'll do like a quick rave before I get on my plane.

I'm kind of, you're kind of, the brakes there. Alfred now in the airport. Did they get an Alfred there? Mm-hmm. Delta Terminator has an Alfred in the LAX. I like Alfred coffee. It's great. Yeah.

Nice and expensive. Yeah. The Cloak and dagger is fine. You have to like it because I like that was so much. I have to like this. I have to like this $9 latte. Wait, do we? Maybe I don't like Alfred coffee.

We reviewed it. We reviewed it. We were mean to it. But I think we all admitted that like it tasted good. Yeah. It is good. Yeah. It's empirically good.

Yeah. The only cloak and dagger are open is now at the airport. The one in Hollywood is like Rock and Brewers, Kisses Restaurant. Rock and Brews! Oh my God! We did Rock and Brews our first tournament? No, we're not a tournament. It was our first ever Rock Dober Fest. It was first ever October.

First ever October. We went to Rock and Brews. It was fucking far away. That's like the most, I think it's probably the most unpleasant thing that exists. Yeah. Is the idea of rock. Rock and Brews feels like that's what like syphilis is at some point. Or like, you know what I mean?

We'll just say about it. Hard Rock Cafe already sucks and it's like a shittier version. It's a more craven, you know, like a cynical version. Because it's a crap. By Kiss, yes, who are the most... The worst band of all time? Right, right. You know what?

I don't, I remember there was like the Kiss, remember the Kiss movie that, the... Oh, uh, Hard Rock City. Hot Rock City. Yeah, yeah, Detroit. Detroit Rock City. And I remember, like, being like, is this like a band I'm supposed to like? We were talking music before this. And I, you know, like, I listen to classic rock stations, stuff like that.

And I was like, it didn't work. You know what I mean? I was like, I don't think I like this band isn't working for me. And then Gene Simmons is just such a fucking piece of shit. Oh, my God. He's like, MoMACadhaffi if he didn't die. He's like, oh, that guy's a piece of shit. He does look like Gaddafi.

He does look like Gaddafi. He really does. It seems like maybe they're the same guy. I met him once, and it was the quickest I saw a celebrity turn an entire room against him. What he did? minute. Well, I won't say the big thing he did. But I seems juicy. But the

one thing he did, which was so obnoxious, was he's like, he's like, I have a magic trick. I'm going to turn a $1 bill and do a $1,000 bill. He took a $1 bill out of his wallet, and then he autographed it. Oh. That's such fucking bullshit. What a fucking loser.

I'm going to take him, like, I'm going to turn this back into one dollar bill and go, whee! Yeah. The thing that The thing with him is like a, like, he's a guy who's like, I love sex and like women love having sex with me. I'm like, you're like disgusting to look at.

You're like, like, I don't like looking at you at all. And you're so, and you're so confident in like so openly talking about fucking. And it makes me sick. There's, there's something about the people who are like so, they're like rotting from the outside. But then part of that is they're never accepting their actual hair loss. And like, like, like, Gene Simmons's hair is such a weird amalgamation of like trying to pretend like he still has.

long hair, but clearly it's much thinner. And I'm just like, I don't know, just come home, dude. Except aging. I think also when a person just sucks like that, you can see that in. Right, right. He looks like shit because he is, he's an asshole. Do you have the drop credit? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry. Emma's not here. Everything's falling apart. Here's a new, this is awkward. Here's a new drop. Enjoy Jean Simmons. Oh, boy. Oh, he's a fan.

We like you. He's got to cancel the sub. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. We were all kidding. We were all kidding. We were all kidding. I got long tongue too, see?

Guys, the president made a joke. The president made a joke. Did you see this tongue? I do have a long tongue. I do have a long time. Is that long? Yeah, I don't know. I have a long tone too.

Oh shit. I have a short time. I don't want to participate in this. I feel like I don't want to find out. We are trying to trick you so that we can put it on our website. Yeah. Tongues of the new feet. Yeah.

Tung scraper. Register that now. I just turned a $1 idea to a $1,000. Yes. I have a long tongue and then I've been measured, like I get measured by a Joss specialist. I'm in the top 1% of mouth sizes. He is in the top 1% of hog sizes.

What mouth sizes? I work with this guy, this actor, who has the Guinness Book records for the biggest tongue. Holy shit. Oh my God. Yeah, for real. He was in Fallout this last season two.

He was in it. He was in X-Files a bunch. I can't remember his name right now. Unfortunately. What a niche. Huge tongue. Massive tongue. So no wonder why Wig's tongue

looked like potatoes to you. He did say something about it and we're all like, oh, wow, that really is big. That's fucking huge. Yeah. A lot of, hey, speaking of fallout, let's plug it up top. Great show. Season one was great. I've starred in season two.

I'm liking quite a bit. But we got a lot of friends of the show on there. You, John Daly, Jack Cherry. Murder is. row of funny people. My buddy Jared Bankins, who I shot Twist's Metal Season 1. I don't know if you guys crossed over it all, but Jared's a great dude.

He's an actor. He's an actor. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I worked with him now. Yeah, he's great. Great guy. Friends in the writers room as well. My buddy Owen Alexson was the That's right. Oh, yeah. I know him from before that, too. He worked on Superstore. He's on Superstore, yeah. Hi, Dofam. During the lead-up to the Weiger

challenge of the KFC4 with Cullen Crawford, Mitch in Wiggs mentioned that there was and a song slash sting for the Weiger Challenge. However, back in 2017, during the Dix Drive-In live episode with Evan Susser, Wiggs premiered a sting for the Wigar Challenge using Sagat's theme from Street Fighter 2. Okay. I'd remember that.

I made this drop to update it since Tiger Wiger fits even better with Sagat's Tiger Knee and Tiger Uppercut. Not complaining, just didn't want one of my favorite Wiger song slash Stings forgotten. Cheers, Thomas, Lattent Tickles in the Dosecord. Wow, thanks, Thomas. Speaking of Twisted Metal, Street Fighter movie is coming out that, uh, Catow directed. Katow directed from Twisted Metal. Did you mention Twist and Metal or were you talking about Fallout?

I did say Twissom Metal. You did say, because Jared Bankins is, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Hey, a lot of good video games. You know what? The video game series, there's a couple good ones, I said. Well, they're good, they're great. That's what I'm talking about.

There's a couple good ones and two of the stars of the good ones are here in the studio, and we're happy to have one of them returning as a guest. Our guest today plays Thaddeus on Fallout. Season 2 is now streaming on Amazon Prime. Johnny Pemberton is here. Hi, Johnny. Oh, hey, great to be here, guys. What a hoot.

By the way, I got to ask you, I don't know if we asked you this the first time we were here. Well, I do want to get into this. I'm sorry. But did you play the Fallout games before you got the show, or have you now played them? I did not play them. I watched when I had roommates, I watched my roommates play it a bunch, but I did not play them myself. Yeah. I mean, sometimes I'm not much of a gamer, and certain games, it's like, I can't,

do the games where you have to collect stuff because I just get like, I have anxiety with all the collecting, all the things, you know? Yeah, of course, yeah. Because I don't know what to drop, what to keep. And yeah, it's the same reason I can't clean up my house. It's like, I don't know what to throw away. I'm 100%. I have that same issue.

And you know this wise, but I always try to do 100% games. And it's just like, it takes too long and too much, too much. I had to let that. I had to let that go. It's just, it's overwhelmed. Were you 100% or at one point? Yeah, it was 100% or. Okay.

Which means you don't miss a side quest. You do everything, huh? Yeah, I mean, I've won 100% of Ghost of Tsushima. I think that's the last game I got. I did absolutely everything on. But I generally don't. That was also a pandemic release. Yeah, it's different.

That's like reading a book that's long. Yeah. Johnny, as we mentioned before we formally introduced you, you are from the Midwest air from Minnesota. We were just in Chicago where the negative temperatures. Have you, have you like, forgotten Midwest cold as someone who's lived in L.A. for so long? Like, what does it feel like? Because I know you're just back in Canada.

Right. I mean, definitely my body's forgotten it. Yeah. I think there's a thing. I remember reading about this years ago. If you spend like six, maybe eight months or something in the cold, your vessel size changes. Your blood vessels change a little bit to accommodate it. So if you are from a super cold place and you're not, if you're not from a super cold place and you go someplace cold, you are legitimately colder than someone who lives there. It's not like, oh, you're a pussy, you're cold.

No, it's because like you're, if they came to California in the summer, they would be so incredibly hot. We're like, yeah, it's kind of hot out, but it's not as hot as it is to someone from the Midwest. Right. So basically, yes, I have lost it all. I've lost everything. Because you were, you were used to negative,

I mean, even growing up in New England, when we went outside into the negative, like into the negative temperature in Chicago, it was like, okay, this is intense and you were not, you were not happy. Not prepared for it. Yeah. Although I, you know, like, I've been something of... You did all right? I did all right. I've been something of snowgrinch in the past,

but I kind of... Snowgrinds. I did enjoy the snowfall that we were dealing with this time. It was fun. We got a lot on our last day. Yeah, we did. It was... It was on my way out. I changed my flight to go home to watch a Patriots game. Not the Pats, huh? The Pats. They're back in the bowl. They're back in the Super Bowl. It's only been a few years, huh?

You're poor things. Poor Patriots, man. I meant through so much. We're very, very lucky. It's going to be a tough. Seattle's a good team. I think it's going to be a tough one. But I, look, we're lucky to be back.

In the group chat, I sent it about time. Congrats, Mitch, about time. Something good happened for the Patriots. Everyone ha-ha-ha did, except you gave it a little heart. Did you take that at face value? Yes. I mean, look. It's been a little bit of a dry strait.

Well, memories are so short. Like, you know, it's like a hot girl. If he doesn't got a compliment enough, you guys are just like, oh, I'm all going. Like, no, you're fine. You're fucking fine, guys, okay? I think that, look, I feel very bad for, like, my friends who are Jets fans or something. My buddy Luker, one of the poos, he's a, he's a, he's a, he's a fan and they lost, and I was rooting for, I wanted the bears to do.

The Bears are going to be so good next year? They're going to be great. They're going to be so good next year. I fucking hate the Bears, man. I don't know why, I don't know why, I don't know why the Vikings moved on from Darnold. I don't get it. Can we edit that out? Do many times people say that?

Why do they do it though? Because they made a mistake because they're stupid. It's the Vikings. Yeah. Because they thought JJ was going to be good. I mean. But the Vikings, they looked good. If you're playing well with the quarterback, I just don't understand the idea of getting rid of them.

Because he's too expensive, I think is what it was. He played just well enough to be too expensive to keep, but not bad enough to be cheap enough to keep. Yeah. Like just like the perfect storm and they're overcap and all this dumb crap that I don't like talking about because it's like so boring, you know, football sucks. I love it, but I love it and it does suck. I do agree with it. I mean, it does just like, it does make your life worse if your team is bad. I do.

But also it's better because now I don't have to care about anything. I can watch a little bit. The playoffs are done. I'm like free. I have time now. They're not care about this thing. It's such a time suck. But then you won't.

But then you won't care about it just a little, like you care about it a little less, which is also. I want Darnold to win. I want Donald to be like the one that got away. Yeah. I'm a Seahawks fan now hardcore. Okay. I think the Patriots are fine. They're fine.

You guys are going to be great next year too. We'll be okay, I think. All these things are going to be great next year. I do think a lot of people are just, they're becoming, Patriots are becoming big underdogs. I'm not going to go. People were asking online if I was going to go to the game. The tickets are like double what.

They're like $7,000 for the cheapest seats. Man, that stuff is the worst. That's like the most like capitalist expression of our life. time is how high can we make how much can we make a Super Bowl ticket? How much can we make them? Remember that part in transplants and automobiles?

I was trying to get the cab at the beginning. You guys like, well, surely anyone who pay $50 for a cab will definitely pay $75. It's like if you'll pay $75 for a cap, why not pay $100? It just keeps ratcheting up because they know that if you'll spend a certain amount, you'll spend any amount.

Yeah, once they could apply the algorithm to captive pricing, it was just like, well, we're fucking cooked. And it's just going to get worse. They're going to get ways to ratchet it up and make it worse. It's $7,000 for like nosebleed seats is insane. I can't wait for the price of food to fluctuate in real time. It already has on the shelves, though.

It does. You know about this shit? No. Like they have digital displays on certain grocery stores that change with the time of day. I fucking love that. And they're probably going to start changing with your RFID from your phone to know how much money you've got. Oh, that's so cool. They'll change.

If you buy this a lot, they know you want to buy it. Fuck is awesome. Yeah. Cool, cool conversation, right? Yeah. Welcome to TikTok Live. What did you, okay. Is that going to start happening with like, you know, person to per-

If you walk in the store is like whole milk going to go up? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, probably. You're a milk guy. Because they already can do that with, unless there's some sort of ban, which, why would there be a ban? Why would there ever be any sort of new regulation in this fucking failed state? I walk into the store of vegetables go to like one cent. Yeah.

But prices, it's like, well, we don't make anything higher or lower. We just move it from here to there. Everything costs the same. If you'd buy everything in the store at the same time, it would cost the same price. But now this is cheaper. That's more. But they already have targeted pricing for, you know, for certain apps, like, like, you know, for certain ride share or whatever the fuck. So it's like, it's just going to get worse when they can put it more places.

You were always on board with Uber and Lyft being bad, and they are. They're awful now. Also, what's your choice? How do you opt out of it? You can't opt out of these things anymore. Can you take a taxi at the air? I mean, that taxi is now, I think they have to be competitive and they're almost around the same price too.

I bet they are. Yeah. And the answer is no. You can't get the same service from a taxi. They're just not as available. Yeah. Yeah, it fucking sucks. Anyway.

Anyway, here's my question. It's cold out. World's pretty bad. It's cold. It's cold. You're freezing. You're freezing. You'll tuck us off.

Tuckus? Tuckus? Tuckus. Tuckus. Tuckus. Tuckus. Tuckus. No, Tuchus, is it?

Take this to the bank. You're freezing your bottom off and... Tuchus. Tuckus. Tuckus. What do you want to drink or eat? What are your cold weather go-toes for consumption? Yeah, how are you going to warm up that, Tuckus?

I'm a hot tea guy. Hot tea, okay. I mean, I drink hot tea every single day. Wow. Like, I drink it every morning. I drink... black tea every morning. Is this instead of coffee?

Not instead. I drink coffee later. Okay. I just like to taste of coffee. Sometimes I will switch it up. I'll do coffee first. But tea is like good, hot tea, especially early at the morning, like really early. It's better than coffee.

Are you like an electric tea kettle guy? Yep, I have a kettle. I love the electric tea kettle. I've got all the stuff. I know exactly which teas I like. I'm a big Rishi tea guy. I like Rishi. Oh, what's Rishi?

What is, what's this company? I think they're out of Milwaukee. They make just really good full. Whole leaf teas. They have tons of different blends and stuff. I foolish just thought Rishi was a flavor and I was very excited because I never heard of Rishi flavor and I was excited about it. I mean, it could be, you could make it a flavor. Why not?

Maybe they'll make one for you. It's like a rhobis blend. I am a tea guy. Well, you got me electric tea kettle wigs of which I love. That's right. It's a great. It's a great product. It's a great product.

It's a great product. It's fun. But of the Rishi teas, what are you having in that in the morning? The China breakfast is the best one. Okay. Yeah. It's like a Yunnan origin tea. It's ultimate.

It's the best. I mean, it's really great. There's been times when I get like tea high. You know about getting tea drunk? Oh, no. It's an actual phenomenon because there's always other chemicals in tea that aren't caffeine. I think Ltheneene is also GABA and tea. And if you are able to bleed off the caffeine the right way and you drink it fast enough,

you'll get like this overpowering, not overpowering, but like overwhelming sense of like well-being. They call tea drunk. Whoa. And it feels fucking great. It's like, oh, my God, you just feel like super, super relaxed, but also alert. Ultimate thing. If you drink like a big, like a huge thing of, if you don't have a super high caffeine tolerance, you drink like 20 ounces of hot tea really fast, you might get tea drunk. Wow. We should try to get, we should try to get tea drunk for for a double. That would be fun. You should do it. I'm not a morning tea guy. I'm a morning coffee guy, but I did have a stretch where he's having out.

afternoon tea and I loved it. And then I had another stretch where I was having like a like a non-caffeinated tea, like an herbal tea at night. What type of herbal tea? We're talking maybe like a Moroccan mint or maybe like a camel meal. Yeah, yeah. I was having that and I was sleeping great. It definitely helps. I loved it. And then for some reason at a certain point I regressed and went back to alcohol and everything went to shit. Yeah. But like that nighttime tea was was clutch. It's great. Yeah. T's the most popular beverage in the history of time. right? Wow.

Yeah. It is more than coffee. I think so. Oh, yeah. But you gotta do both. I do both. I love coffee. Yeah, it's good to live.

You're talking to Mr. T over here. The guy scored perfect on his testosterone test. That is true. Oh, right. Score perfect. Yeah, I get the highest possible score in the normal range of testosterone.

It's awesome. I was not expecting it, but hey, I'll take it. That's great. Do you not drink? I do drink, but I, like, I have spurts where I'm not drinking at all, and then I have other stretches where I'm drinking to excess. Do you exercise a lot?

Yeah, I'm a big exercise. Yeah. Like, What do you do? I go to the gym. Every day? Not every day. But I exercise like five or six days a week.

I walk every morning. How long do you walk? I just do a 20-minute walk every morning, just to wake up. As soon as you wake up or after coffee? I get coffee and I take my coffee with me on my morning, what I call a coffee walk. I do a little one-mile loop around my apartment. And then I will usually do some cardio or some strength training depending on the day. So I'll either go to the gym and lift.

or I will go on a run or hop on my peloton. And sometimes I'll toss in some yoga. Why not? Yeah. But I does help mitigate the damage of the shit diet. You should be the new eugenics guy. You should be the new. We talked about how newgenics is such a dangerous product name, and I did it.

I fucked it up. What is Newgenics? Newgenics is the thing endorsed by, I'm worn in the White Sox jersey, Frank Thomas and Doug Flutty. and it's the whole thing of like it's like a testosterone. You got perfect tea. You should have dog flutie. You should have them on a leash. That's how much more testosterone you have.

Who? Who? Who? Doug. I should have Doug Flutie on a leash and call him dog flutie? That's, you're the king of testosterone. That's what I'm saying. Those guys should be bowing down to you.

I would never have Big Hurd bow down to me. Come on. Big, I mean, you're the testosterone king. Well, how did you, when did you have the Nugensix king? Nugenics, yes, the supplement. New Nugetics, tricky. Right. For listeners, new nugenic, tricky to say.

Your in is hard. It's a hard end. Okay. Oh, boy. I had it tested late last year. I got switched on my psychiatric medication, and then my therapist was like, this one, I was having some weird side effects, some of the therapist was like, this can actually suppress testosterone.

You should get a baseline check to see what's doing. anything and but no quite the opposite I was sky high so you know whatever sky high pumping I guess so he's pumping the tiger roars tiger scratches you could be like a like I feel like back in the day just having like like uh we've talked about this before but like directors just immediately having respect for actors that have big dicks when oh yeah right yeah what is that that's a thing there are like directors that like they like uh when when the actors would do news scenes like I have respect for you finally What is that specific story that word? I don't get the thing.

That story involves, that specific story involves Justin Thoreau is the actor, and the director is Peter Berg. And he was like kind of being like, you know, like bullying. But there's more examples of it where like other. Peter Berg was Alfing. Peterberg was Alfing Thoreau and then Thoreau had a nude scene. He had a big dick.

And after that, Peterberg knocked it off. It's like the dumbest thing. I like both of those guys a lot. Yeah. I love Peter Berg so much. He's like my favorite one. I think I'm the only person. who is like a big-time Peterberg fan.

Makes some compelling films. I enjoy some Peter Berg stuff. Yeah. I think that it is a crazy story. But there's another example, too. There's been some directors in the past that when they see the actors hog, they get respect to them finally. I feel like I've heard every Hollywood story there is.

You know what I mean? But I've never even heard a glimmer of any of this whatsoever of like, it's a thing. Respect from the director? It's a thing. It happens on our show even. It does. It does happen on our show quite a bit. Okay.

Patreon episodes. Patreon episodes, yeah. The dick droppers. That's hilarious. I'll never speak of Guaulik ever again. Was it like Sam Peck and Paul? I could say that being a guy who would feel like that. Maybe John Ford.

Peck and Paul in the Wild Bunch. Yeah. Like, get them out, boys. I'll do some research. I'll come back to it. Okay, do a little research. I don't believe it. I feel like I don't believe it.

Because how many dicks are, there's very few dicks on screen. Yeah, I know. It's a pretty low count. It would have to be a thing of like, hey, we're going to it for a steam after the shoot or something like that and like, oh, whoa, that guy is working with something. But I don't think there would be, yeah, as far as full frontal nude scenes, I mean, like, there's just not a ton of a couple. There's a handful, really. Harvey Keitel. Willem de Fo.

Willem de Foe. William Defoe, yeah, but that's pretty recent. William DeFoe's was and. Eastern Promises. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Vigalmorg. Right. Yeah, Cronomber.

Oh, you said Wulmae crossed it with, yeah, Viggoe Mortonson. What did Wom de Fo was he naked in? We had to wear a smaller prosthetic, right, because his big, it was so big. This is what they said. I did hear that. You can't see his actual hog in a short film from when he was younger. And it is pretty big. But his, yes, the verbiage, I believe, that existed on the Lars von Scher movie.

I have a big penis. It's true. It's something I've had for a while. Lars wanted me to show it. I want to, I can't. I don't know that's a good impression. I like it. The Nymphomaniac film. Lars Van Trier, the thing that he said was that his actual hog was confusingly large.

Oh, that's right. Lars didn't want the large dick. Great director. They needed to have a stander. They had to have a guy with a smaller, still big, but a smaller hog to step in. I also feel like this is just all 100% not true. It might be fully apocryphal. Like it's just too good of a story to be real.

Lars Vantrier did, he did talk about it. Yeah, I think that interview was. on the record. I mean, I feel like Lars Rantrier is like Werner Herzog where half of what he says is totally untrue. Like that's true. Wernherstog is a compulsive liar. Yeah. Like truly a compulsive liar. Like not even probably on his own admission. Hey, lying is fun. Yeah. You say whatever you want. Top 10. I just searched this, but then there's an IMDB top 10.

Top 10. When the director respected an actor more from his hog size. Number 10. Mashable bliss now the top 10 when a hog brought respect on set It's got like the bad voiceover It's been translated from like a different language It's like a YouTube video It's just like a guy refinishing a motorcycle You know in fast motion

I The top 10 moments did A penis change the day There is more examples of a penis changing a director's mind But I can't find any I can't believe we're talking about this too I would never have expected this is what we're going to talk about. IMDB does have a top 10 well-endowed male actor list, though.

Do you want me to name the top 10? Yeah, go for it. William Defoe, number one. This is Willem, right? Oh, sorry, Willam. Willam. Can I guess number two? Yes.

Is it John Hamm? No. Number two is Liam Neeson, the Avion bottle. Yes, right. Janice Dickinson in her memoir set, had a hookup. up with Liam Neeson and said he unzipped an avion bottle fell out of his pants. What kind of avion bottle? I think one of the big ones.

Well, you know, you got to be specific about this. It could be a modest guy. Yeah, I don't know. But I think she was emphasizing it's lengthened girt. Well, we got to go back here because, like, Liam Nason's a big guy. He's a big dude. He's a big dude. John Hamm, I met him recently in person.

He's a, he could play D1 football. He's a huge. He's huge. His hands make an iPhone look like a fucking, you know, like a little. Pez dispenser or something like that. He's a huge guy. If you scale everything up, then the inches you're adding to their frame including...

Not always. Of course it's good. John Ham is on this list. He does make the list. Number three, we'll visit to the Bone Temple. Ralph finds... Oh, Rayfe finds definitely. Rave has a big old rang or dangar.

I'm saying everyone's name wrong. You see it in Bone Temple and he's... He shows it in Bone Temple, which is... Very brave considering the alpha also has his huge hog. And so he knows he's going to invite him. It asks me if I wanted to show my bone in the temple. I had a bit of a laugh because it's quite big. You're going to love this movie.

The Alpha's hog is so big in Bone Temple that it's just crazy. It really is. Number four surprising. And I don't know about this one. Jared Leto is number four on this. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense.

Because you have to be, you have to have a dick really big to be that much of an asshole. I agree with that. I think you do. Yeah. Number five, John Hamm. John Hamm. Number six, Jake Silberman, who now I'm convinced wrote this list because who the fuck is Jake Silverman.

I don't know who is that. Actor, Producer, Producer, and writer, producer and former model best known for his role as Noah Mayer and the soap opera as the world turns. Okay. Attracts. Ewan McGregor. Number seven. I've never heard someone say it.

Oguyen. Now you're over-correcting. Now I'm getting scared. In the show sometimes, Johnny, I get a little scared. I was working, I'm Ray Fons. I was working with Owin and we call him Oon because he stinks. You. He smells bad.

What's funny about this list is that some of the, like, you and McGregor shows his hog and young Adam. There are like some documented on-film hogs in this list. list, but other ones are pure speculation like John Ham. Is he showing the Obi-Wan show or no? He does show it on Obi-Wan. All right. Is Ted Levine in there? Ted Levine, not in the last three. The last three, I mean, one has been mentioned so far. Or maybe not. But I know this one. Just read them off. Fastbender. Yes, Fastbender also shows his hog. Number eight. In shame. He's a hog show. An Irishman is number nine. There's an Irish curse, but it doesn't affect number nine Irish actor.

Do you want me to guess? Is it Killingen Murphy? Nope. Colin Farrell. Oh, yeah. What does Colin Farrell show his hog? Killian Murphy starts 28 days later by showing his hog. It's like the first thing.

Hog. Ten. The actor from Superman Returns. The main guy? Superman? Brandon Ralph? Brandon Ralph? Yes, yes.

Ralph. Brent, Ralph. Oh. Roth. Brennan Rolf. Brennan Rolf. He has, he's number 10.

Wow. They should do actors under six feet with bangers. That's an interesting one. I love that idea. I love that idea. Short kings with big things. Yes. Whoa, that's like a Jeopardy category right there.

Short kings of big things. Actors, who ain't acting? Five different actors under six feet with big dicks in the jeopardy. You can find them. No, I'm just saying in the jeopardy category, that's what the answers would be, I guess. Sort of a question. Wrangle dangles. Johnny, here's a question for you.

Back to food. Because we've talked about your colitis on previous episodes. And I don't know what... How are things with the colloquium? Yeah. How are things going right now? Well, technically, I'm going to talk about this. I don't technically have colitis anymore of pouchitis because I have my colon removed.

Right. I have pouchitis. Yeah. But, you know, they're up and down, you know. I have a whole show about I'm filming this special next month. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Yeah.

It's all about that, basically. That rules. At what age do you first start sensing this? Or have you been dealing with this your whole life? I was diagnosed. when I was 10 years old. Okay. So, you know, it's kind of old.

I've been around a long time. A long time. And you're growing up in the Midwest where the food is notoriously heavy. I'm not sure exactly what you were eating in your home. But, like, how did, how does the Midwest diet square with your gastrointestinal distress? I feel like it's probably not good because there's a lot of cheese. Right. But also, I think the whole dietary thing, I mean, I talk about this again in the show, but they didn't,

there wasn't a huge emphasis on diet back then as far as, like, how it impacts your digestive system, which is kind of insane, kind of like, what do they call that when you don't, you're not addressing the thing? It's just, right now. Addressing the symptom, not the cause. It's like kind of psychotic not to think about, diet as a function of your bowel health. But I think it was probably bad. But also, everything is like your own food choices, too, you know, like if you just make a lot of bad food choices. But God, I don't even know. It's hard to even say, you know. Yeah, sure.

Were you, like, misdiagnosed with, like, did they think you were, like, constipated? No, no, no, not constipated, the opposite of constipation. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was like, if I'm constipated over, I'm like, oh, this is great. Constipation's bad, no, this is wonderful. Oh, my God. I'm on a weight loss drug, Zep bound, a GLP1, and it does, it will, it will slow things down. It does.

Which is sometimes great, honestly. It is, it can be a very helpful thing in many ways. And then some days you're like, why am I not going to the bathroom? Really? Yeah. I was always the opposite growing up. I think I said, I mean, I've told the story about. I got like I had to drink milk with magnesium.

I think so much of it was one, not drinking enough water, which still is an issue. Right. And then two, that you guys questioned me in Chicago if I had drank a glass of water in like the second day there. And I don't know if I had. You haven't fixed that? I do. I'm much better. I am much better with water.

But I think when traveling, I just like forgot to do it for 24 hours. And you get really dehydrated when you travel. I instinctively took a swig of my Yeti when you said that anecdote because I was just like, oh, yeah. I don't know, just kind of subconsciously. I was never loved water, but I know that that's a crazy thing to say. I never loved water. I like, I like nice cold. I like an ice cold water.

Emma of room temp water person we found out at the Airbnb. I'm also a room temp water person. I know, but Jesus, that sucks. Here's a little trick. I like, I do like tea. I like tea. You start your day with hot tea and drink like 20 ounces of it. You just drink 20 ounces of water, my friend.

There you go. And not with, enough caffeine to strip the water as a diuretic. Yeah. But you're also not a caffeine guy. I don't, I'll drink a Coke Zero, but I don't really like too much caffeine. I don't drink coffee, really. Wow.

I like tea over, I like, I'll like a small black coffee, but like, like, I'd rather tea most of the time. Don't you find the flavor of coffee, though, to be just, I mean, it's the greatest flavor. It's a great flavor. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't dislike coffee. I just don't like the, I don't like the, I don't like the, I like decaf more than I like a caffeinated coffee. What about coffee ice cream?

I like a coffee. I mean, coffee ice cream is... Here's the thing with the coffee ice cream. The greatest. Heaven. I do need a little bit of chocolate in that coffee ice cream. Oh, not me. I will take a chocolate in there.

I'm not going to complain if there's chocolate, but I don't need it. Moka chip ice cream. Now we're talking. Pretty damn good. Have I talked to you guys about the strawberry chocolate combo yet? I'm sorry, the strawberry coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee and people are like, are you sure? Like, yeah, I want to...

I go to five guys. I get the coffee strawberry shake. Wow. If you ever can have coffee and strawberry ice cream mix, like a scoop of both? ultimate combo. It's like the ultimate complimentary flavors. I don't know what's going on there, but I swear it's like just perfect compliment.

You get it blended. That makes sense to me. Side by side. Any combination is just great. Strawberry and chocolate goes so well together, and I feel like it's not that crazy. Yeah, it's not that different. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it goes better than strawberry and chocolate. Wow. I think it goes better. Holy shit. We got to try it. We got to try it. You were eating strawberries and drinking coffee at the Airbnb. It's sure it was, but not the same time.

That's heaven. He was saying, yeah, you got some fresh strobs, which I'm not, I'm not a, I don't love fresh. I love strawberry flavor. This is, this is. Doesn't like water. Doesn't like fruit. You know what I got a problem with? You know what I don't like?

God. God. God. What's God doing? What are you on vegetables? What are you doing, God? I like God, but you know what? Fruit can take a hike.

Fruit? Just the greatest thing I've ever invented of all time is fruit. I love pineapple. I love man. I'm a big man. I've become a big Mando guy. Mango guys. Those are fruits.

And my, I love fruit. I mean, I love fruit. I mean, I love fruit. I was just joking. I don't, I don't hate fruit. You don't like strawberries. Strawberries themselves,

I like the artificial taste of strawberries more than I like strawberries. I'll tell you why you don't like strawberries. Haven't had good ones. Because most strawberries we have now are like, they're like one variety. There's like 150 varieties of strawberries. There's one called, I think it's called Quinalt or Kennalt.

They're kind of like a diamond shape. Best strawberry you ever have in your entire life. Wow. It tastes like fucking champagne. It's so good. I would eat one of those. We should eat one of those expensive strawberries from, uh, Airwan, yeah.

Maybe those are good. What is it, like 20 bucks or something? A strawberry? Yeah. So it's like the Japanese specialty. Can you get one delivered during this episode? I could try it. It's $20 a strawberry?

Yeah, it's the $19. Airwant strawberry. Wow. Get us, get us three $20 strawberries before the episode ends, please. I did get. This sucks. Why? I got some cash.

I think. No, I want to try a $20 strawberry. By the way, I think that it sucks, too. I would try a $20 strawberry. I'm just saying like... Let's see if it's worth. I mean, I think it fucking sucks. I don't want to give Irwan money.

But let's see if this fucking $20 strawberry is worth it. We should try. Will it get here in time? Maybe not. I got the, uh, the strawberries in Japan, the ones that are super expensive. Yeah, they have a, they have a thing that they, I guess Japan, they have a culture of, of, of, uh, fruit as gifts, particularly as, like, get well gifts. And a big thing is, like, trying to find a perfect piece of fruit.

So if you get one of those perfectly curate. rated like apples or strawberries or whatever the fuck, that can run you a pretty penny. What's the most evil fruit? Pretty young, I guess you would say. I would say maybe coconuts, they fall on your head. That's pretty nefarious. Yeah.

Are coconuts fruit? Oh, sure. They're not fruit. Yeah. That's a nut. Is it a nut? It might be a nut. Fuck.

Yes, coconuts are considered fruit. Okay. A piece of shit. Why the fuck do you come at me like that? I was questioning it. I wasn't calling you out. So now we asked my question. Is it the most evil fruit?

I don't know. A.A.A. I doesn't know anything about fruit. You know, AI can't spell raspberry? Wait, really? I think there's two R's in raspberry. Wow. A lot of times it does. Maybe this model will get it right because they know now.

Like, oh, we're spelling wrong. Oh, fix it. We only work with Grock here. Again, how fucking stupid is the world where now? We're like, now search engines have been reduced to, like, they're shovel, they're giving you the AI, they're spoon-feeding you the AI, they're putting the forefront, so you're not clicking any of the links that are actually providing the information. And then it's creating this inaccurate summary that, of course,

everyone's eyes go to first and just absorb his fact, but it might be complete fucking bullshit. We got a problem. We got a problem. What's the couch next to you? These are my pills. Ooh. I got a morning and nighttime.

We got a check out of his pills there. Yeah, yeah. Cool in there? Anything fun? This is, I want to go through them? Do you have friends like that when you take a pill? They go, oh, what's that? You know what I mean?

Like, people like to party? Like, oh, what's that? It's like, it's nothing fun. Right. A hundred percent. And I'll go through each of them. This is a hair pill. It's a, what, what, do you?

Hems? It's, no, it's, I do have hymns in here. Okay. But this is, um, there's, there's, uh, there's Briccia and there's the other one. No, not the one, the one that's like all, it's all natural. And, uh, oh, I don't know. Oh, it's, uh, snake oil? No.

I mean, yes, it's neuterful. That's what it is. It's neuterful. So this is, so you have to take four neuterful a day. Is it working for you? I think it does work all right. But I also... But I am also taking...

So you don't know. Well, hold on a second. You take four a day in one dose? Four day and one dose. Okay, got it. This is Hymns, menoxidil, and propitia. I actually have... So these are the pharmaceuticals.

I have those... I got Hymns and I didn't mean to get it. And so they sent me a buck. What did mean to get it? You had a fugue state? You filled out like 45 forums. I'm like, whoa, what happened? Look at these vitamins now.

I signed up for it. And then I went to a doctor and I was like, I'm taking like cams and he's like, don't do that. I'll just give you prescriptions for each thing. But this is propitia, monoxidil, and finasteride. Phanastoride, monoxide, and Cialis. Is it a taste? And one pill.

So there is, there is, now I was taking Cialis because I was on the antidepressant that made nothing work. Is it? Seals is for erections? Oh, Sealis for erections. You are in an SSRI. I was on an SSRI. I was on, what the fuck was it called? I told you it forever.

Yeah, I don't remember. I'm on Prozac. Gamasa. No. Sprando? No. Clamadad. No.

Was it? Wait, maybe it was Clamadad. Probably Prisiphor. It might be Prisiphar. It might have been... I might have been Clombo. Was that five milligrams of Clamadad? I think it was Stalactin.

You know what? Stylactin sounds right. Stylactin sounds the most... Stromelphin? Best act than stalactin. It was... Galgosh. It might have been Galgosh.

Sweet corn. Yeah, I'm on, according to them as a sweet corn. Why don't they have, they should have names like that, like nice names. Common SSRIs. Well, that doesn't matter. And then this, so this, and then here I have, I have Adderall, a five, five milligrams of Adderall. Right. Which is after I got sick and I couldn't concentrate anymore, the doctor put me on five milligrams of Adderall.

Sick of what? I got sick. I don't like to say that. I mean, look, I've said on this before where I've said I got long COVID. It's the truth. But then I've said it since then and people make fun of me and say long COVID isn't real. so I am embarrassed. I mean, that's not true at all.

I mean, like, because everyone's different. Everyone's different. It's like a weird novel, uh, virus that's like different for everybody. Lexa Pro. That's what I was on. I was on Lexa Pro. Lexa Pro.

I didn't have to even look it up, which shows that some is, some of the cobwebs are clearing. Does that help for the, your long COVID stuff? I like really could not concentrate at all after I couldn't, I couldn't, I couldn't, I had such bad brain fog. And it has help.

I'm in a much better place, but I was in hell for two years in my life. I wanted to kill myself. Do you know about Nato? No, what's that? Oh my God, yes, I do know about this. I've read about this from, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eric Edelstein, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he swears by Nato for long COVID. Like, he said it, like, changed his life. Is this the sticky tofu? Yeah, the sticky. Or sticky beans? Sticky soy fermented soybean. Wow.

Wow. I've never even talked to him about that. I love Eric. So we need to, I need to talk to Eric. I've never heard Nato. I heard it's kind of stinky. I think it's not like the best thing. It's not like something like school kids are rushing to eat, but.

Yeah. I feel like, you know, if it works. There's also a thing when a cat has a, there's a certain thing a cat gets where you're supposed to feed them Nato. Really? Yeah, I know. That sounds crazy. But it's the full inventory or you get any more pills in the day? No, that's all but I also think I am going to start creatine.

I was thinking about that too because my muscles are so sore and it work out. Do you take any of this? I mean, I do protein powder. You got all that testosterone on there. No problem. I've thought about doing creatine. Creatine good now. So many people take it for.

It's been advocating for creativity. So many people take it for mental health reasons. Oh, serious? Yeah, memory loss. It's huge. What? Cretein is now, they say the benefits for mental health are huge. Okay, I'm going, I'm rushing to get my creatine.

I'll send you, I'll send you the stuff I get. Okay. But that's, that's it. That's everything I got. I didn't take that AM one. I put them all in my pill case to take here, so I'm going to actually take them now. So you're going to take them on the show because I was going to say this is your morning side.

It is 3.44 p.m. as we're recording. But you're kind of being a little bit, you're pacing down over the course of the day. 3.34 p.m. is, do, do, do, do, do, do. That's the morning song. I was in,

do, do, do, do, do. So you're going to take that five milligram right now. The five milligram, uh, Adderall. Yes. Honestly, five milligram atoral is very, uh, it's, it's a, it's a low dose. It's a very low dose of, of, uh, of alcohol.

I know about drugs, bro. Uh, Yo, man, I know about, I know how drugs were. I had a friend who went to prison for having GHB precursors. Oh, man. Wow. It used to take a lot of that shit back in the way. It wasn't technically GHB.

It's BDO, but I know close enough. Adderall, yes, I do snort this one. Adderall is a, like, a drug that's like... Stimulant. Yeah, it's a stimulant. It is, but it was a drug that I, like, in college and some people were like, Adderall, and I never got it because it was so popular. I never try.

Hey, any drug, I could get my hands on, I feel like I would have done it back then, back then, but I could never, I never really got my hands on Adderall. Well, tell me you going to sleep tonight. That's a great question. My sleep schedule has always been bad. And since coming back from Chicago, a little wonky, I flew in early and went to a Patriots game and then fell asleep on the couch during the Rams game, sadly. Oh, wow.

And then I woke up and, like, was up late. and normally when I'm being good, like 2 a.m. I'll go to bed, 3 a.m. sometimes. And then when I'm bad, 4 a.m. creeping to 4.30 am. That's bad. If you're taking that, that won't be out of your system for at least 12 hours, right? It depends. I mean, like, it also just, I get so sleepy that.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Yeah. But for me, what helps for me is to just go upstairs. I just don't make myself go. I can be the most tired I am in the world. the most hired I've been in my life and then not go to

and I can just still stay up. I don't know. Like that's always been the case with me. Really? So this, I feel like I don't feel a difference with with Adderall. Here's a question.

We were eating a meal before the episode. Why did you not take that as the opportunity to take your pills? I was having so much damn fun with our guest. Also, Susser was with us and I'm afraid of pulling out anything that could even be considered food around him. so I don't want Susser eating my pills.

You've habituated yourself to, but not to have it with like a morning meal. Because that's typically how I do all my pills. No, I sometimes do do do that. I mean, like I usually do try to do that. I feel like I've been, we just were touring. I'm all wonky. It's all, I'm all fucked up. I get it.

We just got back. You're fucked up. I'm all fucked up here. Hell yeah. There I go. Nothing fun. Nothing fun. I don't think I have any pills to take.

No fun at all. I mean, I do have pills to take, but I'd be, I already took them. So I'd be taking a second dose for her. so there's no reason for me to do it. The adorol is pretty fun, though, man. What do you got left today? I don't have nothing left, okay? I've taken all my pills.

No, stimulants? No, no stimulants. You should take them on the pod. They're suppositories, though. Suppositories. You've got four loose pills on a couch cushion. It's stressing me out. What do you plan for these?

You will eat them. I went to Wager's house. Put them back in your thing, man. I'm going to eat them right now. Okay. Weiger, I had a headache and Weigar gave me four Advil suppositories. That's not a thing, is it? He gets all those pills in suppository for him.

Do, really? I mean, you can't, but you can get paid. You can get, I think ibuprofen. You can definitely get Tylenol as a suppository, because I've gotten a Tylenol subpository. But don't you want to just swallow it? Well, I think that it's for the instances when you have some sort of illness that keeps you from keeping food down. So that was the case, I was like, I was throwing everything up.

And so I shoved it up my ass and it worked. It was not just a regular pill I shoved up my ass. It was a suppository, and it was great. Nice and round. Yeah. No sharp pills. Okay. I want to talk about your, I want to talk about fallout and how it pertains to, you know, your bathroom breaks.

Right. Because you're obviously, like, in pretty elaborate wardrobe. We got a tour of Legacy Effects. We met the guy who, from Legacy Effects who works, who has worked with you on your Fallout wardrobe. And then, you know, you've got extensive prosthetic makeup at times. How does any of that affect your usage, you use in the can? Not that much because this scene is all on my face. So I don't have to encumbered any place else.

And the time in the chair isn't like so long. We're just like, well, shit, I can't take about it. I don't know. I don't mind it. Actually, the guys who do my makeup, they said that, I mean, I'm surprised as anyone. They said this like, you're one of the best people we've worked with who sits this most still. I've any of them ever done effects makeup for them. I'm like, what? I'm very surprised by that because if I look at myself on a podcast, I'll be like, you know, this is like, I have like 45 different positions.

I'm always fidgeting around. But something about when you have to be still, like, okay, I'll be still now. And I just kind of settle in. And it's kind of, I think it's kind of relaxing. I think everyone who hates it, I don't get it, man. Having it on sucks. But getting it on is very nice. Do you, how long does process take? About three hours. Getting it on is very nice. Yeah, three full hours. Yeah, getting it on is fucking nice. They give me head when they do it. So that helps a lot.

You know, that's why I'm so still. I'm so still because if they don't, I don't bite me. Full three hours. We have a break after the first hour or so. Oh, damn. Yeah, it's a long time, but it doesn't feel super long. Also, it's super early in the morning.

Yeah, sure. And I'm just blasted. I fucking hate. That's what I hate. hate the most. I hate that shit so much. There's a part there's there's there is something that is kind of almost therapeutic about sitting in a, I know. For sure. I'm very therapy. Sitting in a in a, in a in a makeup chair can be very, it can feel almost it gets your ASMR going. Yeah. There's a there's like a, you know, just like being brushed and like it can feel pamper it can feel pampery in a way.

Well, because you both, you're both of your your your, your post-apocalyptic worlds. Well, you know, a lot of times you're kind of you get some wounds, you're beaten up, you're, you're, you're you're covered with suit. Uh, do you have a, Mitch, did you, have a, do you have an extensive time in the chair at some point? Yeah, there was, there was a couple moments where I would have like a wound or something like that and I would be in the chair for a while, but never, I mean,

never, look, probably at the most like, you know, 45 minutes to an hour, I've never gotten, I've never gotten the three hours treatment. That's, uh. I'm the most in the show, I think. Wow. Wow. Feels good to say that. Isn't that when you get, biggest balls? There you go. When they're like, you're really good at holding still, isn't that one of those

nice situations where it's like, I was not expecting a compliment in this scenario. And now I'm getting a compliment on something I didn't know I was doing well. Okay, I'll take it. Can you do the thing where you stare ahead and not blink or not move your eyes for like, are you good with that? Can I do that? Super hard. It's so difficult. I only learned to do that like a few years ago because like some movie I was doing where the director kept telling me because the character I was playing was like a drug addict, you know, so he's always super high on pills and I had to like totally change how I moved and how I like did everything. It became like so much slower and stuff.

Wow. Yeah, it was weird because normally not like that at all. Usually the thing I wear, I find a fighter is if you're dead, you know, after you've been killed. And it's like, you're going to like, you're going to like, you're going to like, you're going to stare up and just stare at the ceiling. And then I always just feel like my eyes just, yeah, my eyes are my eyelids are either twitching or my eye is moving around a little bit. Wait, have you been killed on a show? I've been killed before. What will be you killed on?

I know you got, I know there's a big time you got killed, but that death is not like a thing where we see your corpse. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, like, there's a mill, probably, I've been killed multiple times. I'm like I killed once that I had to be dead. I'm like, I'm never doing this ever again. Just because it sucks. Yeah. Having to be like, oh, man, fuck that.

Yeah, how many takes did you ever do as a corpse? Not that many. Okay. Maybe it was for Sterling Hard Joe, and I'll do anything for Sterling. I'll say it right now. I'll do anything for you, Sterling. You're the only one. I feel like you would be very good at being a corpse.

Yeah, I can do that. But I mean, like, I'm very limited in what I can do as an actor, and, you know, which is why I don't pursue it. But, like, I did when I was back when I was doing like sketch comedy, I'd act in stuff that I wrote because it was easiest way to get it made. My sketchy kiss from daddy, this was many years ago, 15 years ago. We did a bit where the title was mobster long piss. And basically what it was was was that a mobster wax a guy. But what? The game of the scene is in the title of the sketch.

The game of the scene is a mobster who takes a very long piss. Anyway, so I was the guy who gets whacked, and then Michael Cassidy and Paul Rust, Don't Stop or Will Die, two other guys who are in the group, Paul Rust is like, here's a parting gift for you and starts to piss on my corpse,

but then he can't stop pissing. Did you write the sketch, by the way? Yeah, I've never written the sketch. And you play the guy who gets pissed on? I was like, if someone's going to get pissed on, it should be me. I'm not going to subject someone else to getting pissed on. Or you could be like what almost all directors in the history of time have been like, ooh, someone to subject someone to subject

something too. Yeah. Ooh, an actor. Someone who will say no to nothing. So I was getting pissed on and so Paul had like a squirt bottle of apple juice in his pants and was just

pissing all over me for hours in a public park. And I got so sticky. Oh my God, apple juice you couldn't just died some water? Apple juice was the wrong choice. Honestly, just water. Sometimes people piss just clear eventually too. I mean, like right? This is when I was still working

to the video game industry for my day job. So we were shooting this sketch, and then I had to go straight to work. And so I was just covered in apples. Covered in bees. Yeah, I didn't get a chance to shower. That's awesome. That's testosterone.

I'm high tea. But it was very good at holding still. And also, I've got to say this, one of the great sketches of all time, Gungum style. Yes. You're dead in that as well. That's true, but I don't think you,

I don't know if we see my corpse very much. I don't know. Oh, whoop. Oh, yeah. I was dead in the sketch. I've been dead multiple times. Yeah, but dead in sketches. Yeah. We're sketch actors. We've been dead. I mean, sketches, to me, that's like, I probably been dead, but I can't remember. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You definitely have been dead in us. There's no way. There's there, I guarantee you've been dead in some sketch.

I'm thinking, like, dead when there were stakes to not move. Right. Amelia, you were a corpse in something recently, right? Um, yeah. Oh, yes. I believe so. Oh, yeah. I didn't seem like you're lying about it. No, no, no, I was a corpse in something recently. I was dead. How was it?

It was fun. I actually like being a corpse because there's no responsibility. Yeah. No responsibility, no lines. Was your face shown? Yes. Oh, wow. Okay.

There's some blood on my face. Were you getting it holding still? Yes. Okay. I remember I showed a picture of my mom and when I did birthday boys, we did a sketch where I die, and I showed my mom and my sister, and they did not like it. Yeah. They love you.

And I love you. It was nice. It was nice. It was very nice. It was nice. It was nice. ambassador, he just dropped his first collection with them featuring his favorite essentials,

classic effortless teas, go-to oversized hoodies, and all the comfy pieces perfect for lounging or hitting the gym in the new year. And because I joined the Fabletics VIP program, I got first dibs on all the new gear. Fabletics pieces feel like the kind of high-end active wear you'd easily

pay a couple hundred dollars for, but you get that same premium fit and durability for a tiny fraction of the price. At that point, the VIP membership basically pays for itself. And the fit? Diled in. No waistbands, creeping down, joggers that actually keep their shape, jackets that are warm without being bulky. They provide everything for workouts, travel, and getting back into your routine. Perfect for those New Year, Fresh Start mornings

when you want to feel put together. Wags, you're looking pretty Fabletic right now. Thanks, Mitch. Fabletics isn't just an online brand with over 2 million VIP members and more than 100 retail stores, it feels like a community people can rely on. Here's the thing. I'm in full kit Fabletics right now. I'm wearing the shorts, which are perfect length for me, although you can get them however you like. I'm wearing the t-shirt, which is super comfy, and I'm wearing this hoodie, this waffle hoodie. It's delightful stuff. It's all very comfy. It's all very breathable. I've worn it to the gym. I've gotten a good workout in Fabletics. So, hey, you know, I'm, I'm certain a fan. And you know what? I like it for lounging. Wags. It's great for lounging. It's what I'm doing most of the time. Fabletics already has incredible deals and I've got an exclusive offer just for our listeners. Get 80% off everything when you sign up as a VIP and yes, that includes Jamar's first drop. Just head to fabletics.com slash doughboys. Just head to fabletics.com slash doughboys. Be sure to select doughboys when prompted to unlock your 80% off. Wow. That's fabletics.com slash doughboys.

Hey buddy, why do most of us want to learn a new language? It's probably not about memorizing grammar tables or topping a leaderboard. It's because we want to speak it out in the real world with real people. Babel gets you there fast. Learning a language with Babel is all about small steps. Big wins in progress you can actually track and feel. Their bite-sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to start seeing real results.

Babel recognizes that real world connections are. at the heart of language learning. Their courses are designed by over 200 language experts. Wow. Real human beings to teach you relevant words and phrases you'll actually use so you can start speaking with confidence in as little as three weeks. Babel lets you practice real-life conversation step by step without the stress. You'll build the confidence to speak up when it matters,

from ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends abroad. And Babel is more than just lessons. They even offer a large collection of podcasts where Babel experts, reveal language secrets and offer an inside look at local cultures. Wow, Wags. Mitch, I use Babel. I've been using Babel for a while to learn me some Espanol. That's Spanish and Spanish.

It's helped me learn real life conversation skills in this language. This language I'm trying to brush up on that I learned in high school, but, you know, years have passed. And here we are. Babel is helping me relearn essential skills for use cases like travel and culture, friends and family connection, and professional development. and also just living in LA. I've heard you babble enough in English, and I might as well hear you babble in some other language,

well, it's not that kind of babble. Make fast, lasting progress with Babel, the science-backed language learning app that actually works. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at babble.com forward slash doughboys. Get up to 55% off at babel.com forward slash doughboys, spelled B-A-B-B-E-L-com forward-slash-d-d-O-Boys.

Rules and restrictions may apply. Jack-in-the-box was founded in 1951 in San Diego by Robert O. Peterson. Back then, hamburgers were 18 cents. How about that? 18 cents. Jack-in-the-box has had food safety scandals over the years, including selling horse meat as beef in the 80s. Who didn't?

And more seriously, there was the 1989. In the 80s? In the 80s, they were selling horse meat as beef. He's late. Ready late. Probably some guys like, man, they don't make them like they're so good. I'll walk that horse meat. Like reflecting on beef tallow fries, pining for the horse meat burgers.

They had a 1993 E. coli outbreak that's sick in 700 people and killed four. Clearly my grandpa, I think. Oh, my God. I don't know if he got E. coli, but definitely got sick. Wow. My first memory in life of Jack in the Box was my grandpa being sick. Oh, my God. I was probably like, you know, 12 years old.

He was okay. He's okay, right? No, he's dead. Well, not from that, right? We never know. He died about 15 years later, but, you know, it could have been the Jack and Box. It could have been it. Yeah.

Jack Box surfaces in the aftermath as a character fronting its marketing campaign. Came up in the comedy community. We talked about this. We talked about Jackbox. What is? I don't know what this one. Did you know Jack Box in the comedy community at all? What?

Jack Box came up. He came up in the comedy community. I don't know if you guys crossed town. Who is Jack Box? We can't, we can't assume this bit. This bit is, this bit is done. What do you mean? What do you mean, bit?

Jackbox is the name of the, the mascot. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you cross past the comedy committee all? Which is referring to is the thing that you will find unscruitable because it is referencing a previous episode where we talked about Jack Box as if he was a fringe figure in the yelling comedy community. Yeah.

Okay, I'm on board. Oh, yeah, man. Well, he also, we did not too shabby together a bunch. Yeah. No, yeah, he was kind of a fixture there. Yeah, he'd had a great sketch where he did that Six Flags joke. Yeah, right, right. He was playing like the Six Flags joke is the Six Flags joke was really.

It was the Six Flags guy. I remember him. I remember now, Six Flags Guy had died, the dancing old man, and he was giving the eulogy. It was like a really solemn eulogy, but the Vanga Boy song was playing. Cets playing, yeah, yeah. But Jackbox also, I don't know, like, he was big in the comic community, but he also, I know that he taught some classes at AFI, and he was like a really, like in the film world.

I don't know. I had a grounding's second class with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And, you know, he would still be wearing the head. He's Magna. He's Magna. He's Magna.

He's Magna. He's Magna, which is a bummer. I tried to reconnect with him and just sort of like, I wasn't even going to talk politics, but he just brought them up out of nowhere. Yeah, he was he was, he was, he was, I was like, hey man, thanks for coaching my Harold team back in 2007. And he just like instantly was just,

That place has changed. Exactly, exactly. He starts talking vaccines. I was like, dude, come on. He used to be, yeah, the UCB. Yeah, I know. He's gone on that right with me before, too. He just, he dped Melania, that movie Melania.

That's true, yeah. He's kind of moved. He became a, wow, so he's like Giovanni. He's doing Giavani. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, multi-talent. He's right. He's talented, that's the thing.

Yeah, Jack. It's undeniably talented. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Jack. He might come around. I think he might come around at some point. Yeah. I think you might come around.

Anyway, this is worth it. Giant box. So your first Jack-of-the-box memory is your grandpa getting sick. But you didn't grow up with it. No, he was driving. He lived in Louisiana. He drove up with my grandma in the RV. Sure.

And they stopped and got jack-in-the-box, and he got sick from it. I remember hearing about that. Because I didn't know what's Jack-on-the-box? What is that? I had no idea what it was. And I'm growing up in Sunday, Southern California, and Jack in the Box is just like as omnipresent as like a McDonald's or a Wendy. So I just think it's a national chain.

It's not until I'm older that I find out like, no, it's kind of one of these oddly regional chains that's in parts of the West and then like the Carolinas. It's got like really specific territories it covers. Sam, did you have, you didn't have a grown up? No, he didn't have one. And Meals, you didn't have it either in Jersey, New York. Wow. No JAB. No Jack in the Box for me in Massachusetts or in New England, really at all.

Well, it was a childhood favorite of mine. it was like a fat kid post-orchestra treat. So, like, I have a lot of memories wrapped up of getting, a lot of memories of getting their tacos, you know, at night. Tacos, that's the thing. Yeah. That's my first thing that happened to was the tacos. It's still, I still get them in time.

It's my favorite thing from there. Who are the fat boys in the orchestra? Who are we talking about here? Like, we're the big boys in the orchestra? I feel like usually. I feel like drums a lot of times got the big boys. Well, but the thing is drums are kind of like an active thing where sometimes, you'll sometimes have a sentient drummer,

but a lot of times, like someone like doing like the timpony or something like that, they got to be a little more active. Okay. What I usually think of is, I think of the, I think of the large brass. I think of like your sousapones, yeah, your tubas, your euphoniums, your trombones. Yeah, exactly.

Big, big, beefy guys tend to just take those up. But sometimes you'll see like something like... An oboe, I guess, too. Well, bassoon. Fuck. It's actually unacceptable. Sometimes you will see something like... I've known him for so long and I forgot that it was bassoon.

It's fine. It's a bass elbow. You're close enough. It is a double read. You will sometimes see a thing where... Fuck. One of those asynchronous thing where it's like a really big guy, but they're playing the piccolo or something like that. That's funny.

That's funny. It's like grandma's rapping. Oh, my God. Grandma's rapping? Guys, get out here. Grandma's doing rap music. Guys, grandma just tackled Josh Allen. Oh, my God.

Gosh. Guys, grandma saw a football player. She tackled them and now she's rapping about it. Oh. I think you may be referring to Tom Brady now doing commercials for Pizza Hut. Yeah, and there's a grandma tackling. He gets tackled by grandma. Grandma tackling is a new grandma rapping.

A grandma tackle is big now. There's another commercial that has an old lady on like the starting line and she does some stuff, like an old lady. It is, look, it's funny to see a grandma be physically active in that sort of way. Why is that? Because that's not, they're not. They're not, no. You don't expect that because they're frail old people. They don't play football.

And you don't expect them to rap either. No, because they're old. They don't like rap. It's newer music. Man, I learned that with Jack, actually in our sketchwriting class. Eric Moneypenny taught us this. Right. Yeah.

Yeah, Blue doesn't show up on blue. You want like a contract. Exactly. For people that know, Jack put the first rapping grandma on film. He was the first person to ever write the rapping grandma of Joe. People say Edison shot a kiss first, but actually it was a wrapping grandma. The footage burned up. Right.

It was his mom. Jackbox was like all recreated later, started on an 8 millimeter. Yeah, that was really compelling. I was just grandma giving them a hand job because that's like, you know, grandma's don't do handjob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because their grip strength is terrible. Cool. You send your letters to.

Poor grandpas. Am I right? Poor grandpa. You get all these weak hand jobs from grandmas? Am I wrong? I worked 40 years at the middle. and all I want is a hand job for my wife. I'm too weak.

We can do missionary. I don't want missionary. I want a hand job. They got those dentures. Now we're talking. Oh, yeah, that's the thing. Take out the dentures. Cut to the glass.

The dentures going in, the light turning out. Yeah. That's the commercial for, I don't know, what, NyQuil or something like that. I think NyQuil. Yeah, probably NyQuil. NightQuil double X. NyQuil and Cialis have teamed up.

Sleep hard. Sleep harder. Right now they have the chicken supreme. That's one of the LTOs that they have. I think I had that. That is what we all got. We got the chicken supreme sandwich. And we got the meal with the curly fries.

Yeah. And then we also got a few more seasonal items. They have the spicy crispy jack wrap. And then the crispy fajita jack wrap and the crispy chicken terriacchi bowls and grilled chicken terriaki bowls as well as crispy and grilled versions of the fajita bowl. They also have a waffle sticks, which Sam, you indulge in the waffle sticks. They're great. I thought the waffle sticks were a hit.

We each had a segment. Well, you said something great when you had it. You were like, you dipped it. You had it like, yeah, it's good. Like, unfortunately, it is good. I reluctantly really enjoyed the waffle stick. The waffle stick was fucking good. Yeah.

It was a chiro in waffle form almost. It really was. And a good crunch to it. Yeah. Yeah. The chicken submarine. sandwich. Okay, so I'll read the description. The Chicken Supreme is back. This was

Mitch, as you mentioned off pod, was something that was on the, a fixture in the menu of the past. Armand, Weitzman was, he texted me a picture of the chicken Supreme yesterday is out of nowhere. I said, we're eating those tomorrow and he's like, they used to, he's like, they're not, but this is the thing that people, they were beloved, I guess.

Yeah. Wow. These chicken Supreme sandwiches. But they were different. Man, nostalgia is a weird thing, man. They're different. In fact, I have a picture of what it was. They're reconceptualization, they're reimagining of the chicken supreme, crispy chicken patty, mayo onion sauce, lettuce, tomato, and Swiss-style cheese on a wheat bun. This is what they used to look like. Yes, it used to be a long boy.

Oh, that's, I like that style. I like the long guy used to do that. Yeah, like the Burger King form factor. Yeah. Yeah, this is a round patty. And I found it fine. I don't know what the wheat bun is doing there. Like, like, why do we have crispy chicken and a wheat bun?

It's got to be like a tax write-off thing. I mean, it's got to be something where, oh, if we save a penny and every one, we'll make $400,000 more or something like that. It's got to be something like that, right? Look, I like, if I go to Jersey Mikes, I will get wheat. There are instances where I like wheat bread. But a wheat bun on a chicken sandwich feels asynchronous. In the last 48 hours, I had a Jersey Mikes and the bun was the sub bun was kind of bad. Blackstone Capitol.

And then I had Wendy's and I had my first spicy chicken sandwiching. with the shredded lettuce and it fucking sucked. That's fucking a nightmare. It was so bad. They got Blackstone too? They got bought by private equity. Is there a place that isn't owned by private equity at this point? There are a handful, but I mean, it's a only matter of time.

Yeah, well, Del Taco did get sold recently, but who knows what its fate is going to be. But a lot of these places, they like tried to, they just try to make people money and they put these places out of business basically, right? Like, that's what. Yeah, they tank, like they try to do with bread lobster? Is that right? They close a bunch of Wendy's stores too. Because they want the real estate. Yeah.

It's a bummer. It's sad. Wendy's great. One of my favorite fast food restaurants. It's a... Now, I don't know how much Jack in the Box has changed, but it's always... In the 20 years I've been in L.A., it has seemed to be, like, kind of trashy. Here's the thing.

It always was trashy. When I was a kid, it was the trashy one. It was like shit. It's open late. It's open late. It's open late. That's his main appeal. If you're open late, that's like your lane.

But it was like in the... And I don't think this is fair to Arby's, but people thought of it in the same sort of way as Arby's. It was like, oh, that's like a weird, like, you know, kind of shittier version. Now, Jack of the Box. Arby's much better, of course. Arby's is much better than Jack in the Box in terms of quality.

But I have a lot of affection for Jack in the Box just because they have nostalgia for it. It has regressed quite a bit. It used to be a much better version of its current self. But the tacos, though, I think the tacos, that's one of the first drunk foods I had when I moved to Los Angeles, which is almost over 20 years ago. and I remember them they're exactly the same as they've ever been

Tacos have never changed Yeah but the tacos are I will order tacos sometimes for dinner I'm like oh my that's pretty good I like them No this is the thing I keep going back because of the tacos

Because of the jumbo jack Because of the ultimate cheeseburger The curly fries Clary fries are good You gotta give it a jack in the box And the halibbean poppers Is that fries lettuce Is one of the only place that deep fries

The tacos are constructed with lettuce inside of them and they're deep fried. The whole shell is deep fried. It's kind of like lacquered, like, cauterized shot. All the grease keeps, it's almost like a, what do you call it? Beeria taco. Yes, right. Before Beeria was a thing, I mean, they've been jacking the box, is it beeria.

If you have enough sauce, they give you enough sauce. Put that in a little dish, dip it? Got beeria. Didn't they try it? Didn't they try beeria tacos for a while? They tried that at Del Taco. Oh, Del Taco. They were actually not bad.

Those were, I think the ones that Del Taco were as good. good as any I've ever had. Wow. Like the whole beeria thing, it's fucking fried cheese, man. Like, how good is it going to get? Yeah. Well, I would say, like, one thing that might change your mind is if you're ever back in Chicago, I know you spend some time in shite town.

Beer area is Aragoza, a place. Nali took me to, I've been a couple of times, is fantastic. The best beer I've ever had. Knock your fucking socks off. I'll try it. Yeah. I'll beer you up. Yeah.

I love the birriot trend. I love that that's now state side everywhere. Like, yeah, yum, yum, yum, give me some. Yeah, yum, yum, give me some for sure. Oh, yeah. Beer me, I try never, but I haven't, I don't know if I've had great beeria. I haven't. That place in Chicago that, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There are great places out here, too. Chicago is good beeria. I got out there and I had some great, go down there, have some beer tacos that it's a fried taco. It's got cheese in it, but it's been fried deep and you get to. to dip in a little bit of soup, which is nice because, you know, soup's healthy. So, um, you like having that, having that little cup of soup with your beer taco. It is funny that the soup is, it is just a bowl of fat, basically, that soup, right? Consumet.

It's so fun. Yeah, consomme. Oh, is that what it is? I thought, they told me it was a soup that I make on the side of taco. By the way. I didn't know that, so. I was home for a month and I made, I did actually make homemade oven fries with my mom, which is a thing that people really love from our first.

Oh, yeah. Our first outing. She really, and we had a good time together. But also, wise, I introduce, we have, we do taco night sometimes with turkey tacos. My mom, in her 70s, never had salsa verde before. I introduced her to salsa verde. She loved salsa verde. Oh, that's great.

She's a big fan of salsa. Why the fuck is this green? Mitch, why is this fucking green in here? Salsa's gone bad. It's gone bad. It's got mold in it. It's got fucking mold in it, bitch. She was very wary of, and she...

She loved it. She loved it. Green sauce and when it's good. It's just like the best thing ever. Delightful. We had like the... You know, like the Sturban Hernandez, maybe? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I think that's what we ate. I get the job done. She loved it. What do we think of the chicken soup? I just thought it was so whatever. Yeah, it was pretty nothing. Why would I get this again? The wheat bun does not help.

The wheat bun does not help. The Swiss style cheese. Yeah. Yeah. What is that? Swiss style? Yeah, I agree. Just call it Swiss.

They legally can. I thought you can now. I think this probably isn't technically doesn't meet the criteria. Yeah, but what's the criteria? I don't know. But I mean, if they could say just Swiss cheese, they would. There's a reason they have that weed in it.

You know what's happening with ice cream now? Yeah. You know about that shit? Well, what specifically you're saying? Oh, there's a lot of ice cream. now that have less cream in them. Right, right. And so it's not technically ice cream.

It's all this bullshit because cream's more expensive. So they have less of it in the product and they have to re-change the label of it. That's fucking trash. No, I read about this. I forget what the classification is that they're using. That's to have a certain percentage of cream. Yeah, but what the language is for, like, like, ice treat or something. It's called frozen dairy dessert.

Frozen dairy dessert. That's what it is. Or frozen dessert or something like that. You're an ice cream. You're an ice cream, man. I love ice cream. Man. ice cream?

Good question. Actually, when we were up in Toronto and it was nice and cold, yeah, exactly. I think speeded it up. We were having more ice cream. I was loving it up there. My best ice cream experience in my entire life was in New York City in Brooklyn Heights. It was raining, like freezing rain, and I walked to this ice cream store, and they had Ube ice cream.

Oh, my God. And I had a scoop of it, they ate it in the rain. I was like, this is the greatest flavor I've ever had. It's like, oh, the greatest. It's great. You know what I like? You know what I like with winter ice cream? Some hot fudge.

Hot fudge. It's a battle of the elements. Oh, yeah. It's the fun. Hot fudge. Are you a cop? Are you hot fudge? Are you hot fudge?

Are you hot fudge? The heat is fighting the cold. Your heat is fighting the cold. Can you say it in the super thick Boston accent? The heat is fighting the cold. I can't do it anymore. My fucking accent's gone. Are you a cop?

I'm a fucking sellout. That's what I am. I used to have a fucking dick Boston accent and that was fucking gone. You just got self-conscious. Hot fudge. Hot fudge. Hot fudge. Here's, bitch, when we're in Chicago,

I'm nothing anymore. No, you're not nothing. I have no identity. This California's destroyed man. I used to be a Boston guy. You're a Boston guy. Hey! Hey!

Come on. Matt Damon. Matt Damon, Ben Affleck. The town. The town. Good town. How do you like them apples? How do you like them apples?

How do you like them apples? There you go. Okay. It's not as strong. No, no, it was good. It was good. Now just say hot fudge in there. Hot fudge.

Oh! Can you say, are you a cop? Are you a cop? Are you a fucking cop? Fucking pigs. Do you have a sense memory there? We used to, I mean, it's sad that the people who used to really hate cops. I know.

Respect them for whatever reason. Wait, you so, we're talking about ice cream and cold weather. We, our ice cream consumption was up in. that Chicago Blizzard. We had some Oberwise ice cream and we all gorged on. We did. That was a fucking hoot. Oh, man.

We went cookie dough, cookies and cream, mint chopped cheddar ice cream. Quite a trendy. At small chival, we had some ice cream as well. We sure did. We just got a, meh, from Johnny. I don't think you liked our flavors. No coffee. We didn't get coffee.

No coffee. You got to get a fruit flavor. Fruit. Here's the issue. It's the original ice cream. I think it's kind of a fruit. It's kind of a fruit. Yes, yes.

Hey, do you want a piece of... Hey, would you like some fruit? Yeah, can I just get a bundle of mint? Yeah, let me get some of that... Let me get some of that mint there. I'm fine, you know? It's getting a stroke. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, but you,

I can see that. To give him credit, yeah. He pointed out, there was a, wasn't there a chocolate? There was a, there was a coffee chip. There was a, yeah, there was a coffee chip, and I was like... It only came in the, it only came in a gallon. I was like, I was like, I'm not going to put my foot down and say we have to get this, but I would cast my vote for this.

Copy chip is this original New Good flavor It came in a gallon But honestly we could have probably got it We could have taken that down Yeah Did you like Obrose? I haven't had that in so long

Yeah I liked it quite a bit We loved it Also their owner also turned out They're also mega It's called overweight ice cream Oberweiss Obre Wee Must be just a Chicago thing

But then we were told That the owner was actually good Because we walked by someone else Yeah someone said that We got that We did We got that update after the show is that...

Fucking whatever. It's so exhausting. You can't avoid it. What are you going to do? I just assume everyone is bad. I mean, yes. And if someone's good, like, oh, wow. Maybe I'll go there again.

And I'll feel good about it. This place, they said that the bad owner was gone and that their marketing person, like, had it pushed that fact enough or something is what we heard afterwards. But our audience just likes to yell at us is what it is. And, you know, we like it. People love being like, did you know that the guy who owns that? Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's like, yeah,

whatever, what? It's like, really? You tell me there's bad people out there who are succeeding in business? No way. We like it now. We like getting yelled at now. We've come around on it. We go to live shows and we just get yelled at.

That's kind of what it is. What they do is like, Diet Coke is run by fascists. I mean, there is, there is, honestly, within our shows, I think that there is probably an equal amount of booing as there is applause or, Or more than laughing. I'd say booing, laughing is third. Boowing one. And cheering.

Yelling things out two. Two. And then I think. Cheering for a restaurant, we say. Cheering for a restaurant three. If we say like, oh, we walked by a Taco Bell, then, like, people will, like, express. I've been there. I've been there.

Deep sustained silence four. And then. Actually, deep sustained silence is maybe number one. Probably number one. Deep sustained silence. And then number five is. is polite laughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think when they just want it to get on with it. Yeah, I close in my ears. The spicy, the raps rather, there's a spicy, crispy jackrap, and then the I got one of those. Jack wrap, which was both grilled and spicy. I honestly would have given you a bite of my spicy jackrap, but it was not even, it was nothing. These sucked.

They were fucking bad. You do a jack swap? We should, we should have done a jack swap. We should have done a jack swap. We didn't, we honestly, we did. There was a lot of sharing going on here, but all of us towards the end were not even just into sharing anything. We kind of jacked off everywhere.

Susser, Susser was here, even Susser was here. He was jacking in the corner, I think. He was jacking in the corner. And then he also, he did this thing where he ordered one sandwich, and then it was like, you know that's not going to make you roll. No, because he knew he could, like, forage from everyone else's place. You need to tell us that before you do that.

Just get your own fries. It's only going to be $15. We'll pay $15 for you, whatever you want. It is, I will say this about Jack in the Box. It is one of the cheapest, most value, it's the most, not valuable, what do you say? It's the most, the best value in food. Being for your buck, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I got, I think I got a bag of tacos for a hotel full of guys after the Creed concert because my friend Mark accidentally delivered the pizzas to his home address. I love this. And it was... How was the pre-concer? It's fucking awesome. It's one of the greatest things

I've ever been to my entire life. I mean, it was like the perfect melding of irony and non-irony in a way that it will never be repeated ever again. Like it was truly, I was exhausted for a couple days after that.

Like, I felt like spent. How much did it cost those tacos? It was like $25. Yeah, they do have a genuine value meal. You can get full for an... Everybody was so happy. We're all just wasted and eating these tacos

and like the shitty hotel room, it was like, it was truly the savior of the night is having the tacos delivered to the hotel. There's situations because to your, as you were saying earlier, they are, they tend to be open 24 hours

and because they are a good value of a proposition that there's, their instances where Jack in the Box comes in, very, very clutch. Oh my God. Don't yell at us that Scott Stapp is Maga. He might, yeah,

we would be surprised. Of course he's bad. I mean, why don't, that's the whole. point is you go to see the bad thing in person. It's like, oh, there he is. He's so close. And I believe that

he's not, Maga. I don't, I don't think he's going to guess he's not. I don't think he has the room to be political at all. He's just trying to not take oxy-contin every day. He's just trying his best not to take tons of drugs. Which good for keep it up. Yeah. Yeah.

Someone at that concert, though, did it probably the best, this is what I say to this day is the best reason for living in Los Angeles is that, you know that famous creed show at the Cowboys halftime playoff game about 20 years ago when some, you had the guy the ribbon dancer with the bald head on the big parachute

pants. Some guy got into the middle of the pit of that show, put on a bald cap, took his shirt off, and got on someone's shoulders with a big ribbon and basically did that about 15 feet from Scott Stapp's face.

I have pictures of, I'm like, you know he fucking sees that. Yes, right. He sees that. And it's, this is not something, it's something that is funny. You're making fun of this. It's not like, oh, we love you, man. It was like, we love this absurd halftime show. Where else in the world would you ever see that?

Right. Someone with that much ingenuity. You know, it's crazy, actually. Bringing it back around. That guy who did that is friends with the people I know at Legacy Effects. Wow. Yeah. They know that guy who did that.

That's awesome. I mean, it's one of, I've never laughed. It was beyond laughter. I was like, oh, my God. I've never seen a. moose in person. I can't believe this is real. Legacy effects, one of the places in Hollywood,

that there's just a place where they make cool things. They make like everything cool, yeah. And just everything is just going away. So it makes me happy that place is still there. Tate, Tacks, Takes is gone. Takes is going away. We filmed part of the Birthday Boys pilot at Takes. It's, and it's not that that's the sad.

It's lots of people who are in L.A. some context for TAC. It's a French. Oh, it's an old, it's a, God, it's a, 25. Yeah. Oh, it's 1925? Yeah. Holy shit. Oldest French restaurant in Los Angeles. One of the oldest restaurants. A hundred years old, they're going to knock it down and put some shitty. They're going to keep takes in the first level in a new area, I guess, is what they're saying.

But isn't it because it's like people just don't go out? People don't go out anymore. I wish you could blame developers. There are the problem, but also people, like, people just don't go places. No, it's true. I mean, like, I think that, that I'm not sure. I think numbers are, recovered quite a bit, obviously, from their COVID lows. But they never quite reached pre-pandemic levels, and people have so gotten used to just getting everything delivered. Yeah, it's so true.

Yeah. But, but like, I don't know, there's, there's value in going out and having a communal experience with other people. Especially that place. It's so, right. Oh, man, it's the best. I got to go before, end of March. It's closing.

March 29th. Do you want to say any, do you want to defend those wraps on any level? I just thought they were fucking terrible. No. I mean, like, look, I thought I did like the, uh, Fahita one more, I guess, of, of, oh, well, there was only the fajita wrap anyways. Yes. The spicy wrap was fine.

I don't know. They're just not, McDonald's does a much better wrap. I would much rather have a McChicken wrap. Just sloppy. Look. Yeah, slopply constructed. Get your act together, Jack. I mean, do we, we took, we did eat them a little bit after, but there was no way

in a world where these were good. They were so sloppy. They seem hastily assembled and, hey, they're probably understaffed and overworked. But. Why? Yeah, I don't know. It's weird. We also got the terriaki bowls.

This is a thing I remember they used to have on the menu, and I guess they brought them back. Now they're calling them protein bowls. They have terriaki bowls, and they also have fajita bowls. The fajita bowls, I thought, were pretty noxious. Oh, noxious? That's heavy. And the terriaki bowls were just too sweet. It's kind of the thing Mitch we encountered when we were dealing with the samurai burger at International McDonald's.

The terriarchy sauce is just kind of syrupy. Also, I was just going to text you, but I'll just ask you, are the strawberries coming? They're sold out. Wow. Amelia, you have to tell us these things. I didn't want to disrupt the flow of conversation. No, always disrupt our bullshit. Also, can you turn the air down?

It's hot. It's hot again. By down, you mean make it colder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a big issue that we have here. I think this is something that needs to be sidled for real, because I think when you see turn the air up, that means make it colder. That's what I sometimes think, but I understand when someone says, turn it down the usually also mean make it colder.

Well, that's wrong. I'm wrong. You say, you say turn the heat down. Turn the heat down. Turn the air up. But the heat isn't on. The heat's, and the heat's never on here, I don't think. Well, then you want to turn the air up.

Turn up the cold. How about this? Can you lower the temperature? Sure. Can you lower the third step? That's not fun, though. That's not fun? Can you lower the temperature? Fine. That's what I'll say.

Can you lower the temperature? Can you make it colder? She knows what I mean. I know what you mean because you've never once asked for it to be higher. Can you tone down the ready? Can we tone down the rhetoric? We do need to tone down the rhetoric. Can we take the temperature of the rhetoric down? I agree with that.

Okay. You're getting a little too upset about this. I'm not upset. Who ever wants it to be warmer in a podcast studio? Some people do. Some people get chilly. Some people run hot. I think guys with big dicks get cold.

I've heard that about Liam Neeson. He gets the cold a lot. He's shivering. His hog is taking up all the heat. The, okay. A hot hog, they say. Oh, William. That's what David Lynch said about.

He's got a hot hog. He's got a really hot hog. I don't know if David Lynch is one of the ones that gained respect for anyone after. But there are directors out there. They have a white rice, brown rice. You get your choice. We got ours over white rice. I mean, I don't know.

I guess the thing here is that you get full for $5. If you don't mind how, if you're just like, okay, this thing's going to kind of taste like shit, but whatever. It's like a liquezine. I'm going to get full. I think get full is probably one of the ugliest. two words combo that exists. Don't you think getting full? Yeah, getting full is disgusting.

Like my mom might cry if I ever said get full. Oh, God. You just weep. I can't imagine anyone buying these bowls at all. I mean, just in general, like, I really just don't even know why they exist. I think they exist because I think to get full. I think there's also like, hey, we're going to Jack in the Box over lunch. And some guys look, well, fuck, if I get,

a jumbo jack. I'm going to ship my pants. I'll just get one of these fucking terriarchy bowl. You just got out of prison. You got to get some it tastes like the food you had in prison. Right. You got to get full. And I think they'd also exist for like the parents are taking the kid to jack in the box because they want a fucking shake. And then they're like, oh, I don't know.

I'll try the terriarchy bowl. It seems like a healthier thing for mom. Yeah. You're Jared Fogel. You just got out of prison. And you got to get that weight back on. You're not going to subway. You never going back. You're not going back to Subway. That, you know, you know somebody's going to know. Chicago PD thinks you're a cop killer.

They will shoot you on site. That's the subway for Jared. Shoot him on site? They have a special breaking case of Jared. A gun. It's a shotgun with two rounds in it. You can shoot Jared on site. Second he walks into a subway.

It's fucking double tap. It's next to the cookie. It's right next to the cookie case. You can break it and shoot Jared. That's nobody three. But that to me is like the number of people that have eaten the bowls from Jack in the Box, I feel like it's got to be a low number of people. Yeah.

Here's the full list of things I liked from Jack in the Box. And these are the waffle sticks, which are the one LTO I enjoyed, the tacos, which we got a six taco party pack, which we had to get the tacos. And again, they're tacos that have American cheese and her. deep fried with lettuce inside, but they are delightful trash. I still love them. And then, of course, the curly fries, which I like their buttermilk ranch dressing.

And I will say, they gave us a fuckload of ranches. They give us like 14 ranches. They really did. I didn't even ask for extra ranch. Yeah. So God they gave us a lot of ranch. God bless them. But overall, I mean, this was I think everything that was a

reason for us to come back to Jack in the box, everything that was a new offering was pretty fucking inert at best and just tasted like shit at worst. It sucked. It sucked coming in after Chicago being full and then also eating this shit. And also we had such great food in Chicago.

We did. Maybe one disappointing meal. I don't even, I wouldn't even, that meal blew this one out of the fucking water. Way better than this one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was there a reason that you wanted to do Jack in the Box? Just to just a... Because I didn't realize... Well, you can blame me. Because I didn't realize

we're going to be eating it before the pot. I was like, it's the only one that I've had on the list that was sent that was available. I was like, oh, I've had Jack in the Box, because I thought it was such like we didn't have time to do it. Do you have any buyer's remorse? Would you have changed it up from that list we gave you? I thought about changing it up last minute, but my wife wanted that little thing that

comes with the midnight meal. So I'm like, I'll get her that, like a piece of trash that she wants. There was a Gremlin's midnight meal, right? There was a Gremlin's tie-in, but I don't know if there were any novel food items. I think it was just branding. Wiggs, you know, when I have a new idea, I love to share it with you. you and then we love to share it with the world. Isn't that right? Yeah. That's what having this podcast is so great about having this thing. We have a platform to share all our crazy ideas. And it's a

new year, new business. That's right, Wags. Do you have an idea you can't shake or craft everyone tells you to sell a store you've already designed in your head, Wags? Do you have a store that you designed? For me, how about the pizza shop? That's good. Has anyone done that? They should do that. With Shopify, 2026 is when you finally make it happen. Shopify provides everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs from established brands to new business owners trust Shopify to build their stores. With customizable templates and built-in tools for product descriptions and photo editing, setting up is quick and easy. Marketing tools allow you to create email and social media campaigns.

As you grow, Shopify scales with you managing more orders and helping you expand into new markets all from one dashboard. Wow. In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Chiching! Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash doughboys. Go to Shopify.com slash doughboys. That's Shopify.com slash doughboys. Hear your first. This new year with Shopify by your side.

Wow. Support for today's episode comes from Square. the system powering like half the places I go. If you ever tapped to pay and thought, whoa, that was fast. It was probably Square. Square is a platform behind the scenes of so many businesses you already love. This is just a point of sale.

Square includes hardware that works in person and on the go. Software for managing staff, marketing, and customer insights and banking tools like Square checking to get paid instantly. Square simplifies the messy stuff. It works for one location shops and businesses with multiple teams. or service areas. Plus, it scales with you.

Whether you're selling from a stall or expanding to storefronts, no contracts, hidden fees or complicated installs, Square offers tools that accept all major payments, including tap, chip, Apple Pay, and online. Plus, it shows sales and inventory in real time across channels. Mitch, there's a couple of businesses. I won't say what their names are because I don't want to duck specifically where I live, but there's a nail salon near me and there's a where I get my pedicure. self-care is never ever selfish.

And there's also a great coffee shop where I'll just sometimes kind of hang out and read. They both use Square. And there's something about these small independent businesses that use Square. They just feel a little bit more put together. Quick checkout, easy receipts. They even get loyalty points. Wags, if you want to wet your noodle right next door at 33 taps, they got Square too. Wow, right next door to the HeadGum Studios, not where I live.

If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at Square.com slash go slash doughboys. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O-S-Doh-Boys. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. All right, we should get to our final thoughts on. By the way, Matt Mazzani gifted this.

Did I tell you that? Matt Mazzani gifted this to me for Christmas time. What a thoughtful gift. Because he knew that I kept pills in my pocket. I washed a fish oil pill in my jeans. Oh, how are the jeans now? Now everything is fine, but it was a big fish mystery for a week or so. Fish mystery?

What's the cool name for a restaurant? Fish mystery. She would go nuts over that. She always bets on fish. What is that mean? I'll roll the dice on fish in any scenario. I don't care if there's a body of water around or not. Do you like a filet fish?

Not really, actually. Really? It's okay. Seems like your own thing is just out of the way. That's like what? That's the big fast food fish. I'll roll the dice on it. There's one of the best.

One of the best. You know it's some good fish that Alaskan cod sandwich from Red Hot Ranch. It really was. Machi, machi. That was good as hell. By the way, see this morning night. And then on the side day. So you can just take it.

If you've got to go, you can take them. I noticed that it is a Tuesday on it. So do you have seven of those? I got seven of these. They're all lined up in a pilk. It's a pretty, yeah. Is that like a grab and go type thing? It's a grab and go type thing.

Yeah. I love a grab and go situation. I'm a big like, anytime somebody says a grab and go. It's a grab and go pill situation. Grab and go. You don't have to take your whole pill box. I very much like it and I appreciate it. Mazani, great producer, very talented director, it makes sense that he would have such a great systemic solution.

He's a grab and go man. He needs to grab and go pills. It makes sense. Not grab and go and go. No. Grab and go. Grab and go. One act.

I don't think anything here at Jack on the box is grab it. I wouldn't be happy to grab and go. I mean, the thing that I was nicest to is the sandwich. Let's get into our fork scores. Yeah, we'll get into our four scores. You've done the show before. We will each go around, give a closing argument, if you will, on this particular chain, Jack in the Box, and end by giving it a score from zero to five forks. You're a guest.

Your thoughts, your fork score. I'm going to go four. Four. I think Jack in the Box is actually great because the tacos are so consistent. They've been this way, like I said, I've been having them for 20 years. I've eaten them sober and drunk, and they're still just as good. they'd never given me diarrhea. I have a bowel disease.

I eat them. Sometimes I'll eat them for as a dinner, I know won't make me feel bad. Yeah. Which is crazy to say, but maybe it's because it's not like whatever's in there has been just killed to death that there's nothing involved to in there.

I mean, I think it's just great. Like, I like that it's the name, everything about it. I just like it. I don't know. Wow. I like the fries too. Curly fries are great. We can't, look, you've got to give them

credit for the curly fries. They can go pound for pound with Arby's curly fries as some of the best in fast food. If they just had tacos, curly fries, and drinks, I think that would be a great place. Yeah. Four Forks. Mitch, your thoughts, your fork score. I think that, look, I, when you see a trashy movie and you're like, this is a movie's trying to be trash and it knows what it is. We base these restaurant scores off of what they're trying to do. Yes. And I think Jack is trying to make some trash.

I think they're trying. I think they lean into it. I think that they know that they're making some shitty food. And some of the shitty food is pretty good. The tacos are good. This round of stuff that we got was not like the best LTO stuff-wise, the best limit time only, limited time only food that they have. But I wish I got to try the chicken sandwich when it was when people loved it.

Like Armand said, I guess, 20 to 25 years ago or whatever. But I say this lovingly. I say this lovingly. two and a half forks. Wow. I say it with love. Hey, I can't argue with your score. And I think there's...

Like I said, it is the best fried lettuce. Like the fact that they lean into that shit. Like, I do love it. There's a world, Mitch, where I'm in the handholding club with you or even I am below your fork score. Wow. We're critical. Yeah, I mean, I think I had a pretty unpleasant experience with the stuff that we tasted.

some of which I found flat out disgusting. But I have so much like Armin, who grew up in L.A. as well, I just have such a connection to this place. And you mentioned your 20 years in L.A., you know, I have more than that. And from childhood, it was just like this was just the spot, you know, or this was not the spot, but a spot. This was in heavy rotation with the McDonald's, the Wendy's, the Carls Jr., the In-N-Out burgers of the world, as one of my fast food go-toes. I love the tacos. I love the jumbo jack.

I really like the ultimate cheeseburger. I love the curly fries. You have a lot of life moments at this restaurant. A lot of life moments of this restaurant. In fact, OJ. Bronco Chase, you were in there, eating a burger watching, watching it on the TV. I mentioned this before, but when I was 12 years old, being my friend went to a Jack in the Box in Long Beach, where I was first introduced to their buttermilk ranch. So the context of their regular fries. This was a destination trip?

This was no. Well, yeah, this was destination. It was a road trip. No, no. We were just in, we're just hanging out, and we're going to go to Jack in the Box, of course, because there was won by the beach. We went to the Jack in the Box. We got some regular fries, non-curly fries. He was like, you've got to get this with a buttermilk house dressing, which they have added ranch to since then.

But it's the same flavor. And we shared that, and we got some tacos, and we got some sodas. Then I bought a chain wallet. Then we went back to his debt. Oh, yeah. Then we went back to his dad's apartment. His dad wasn't there and we watched porno. And it was great.

It was just a wonderful afternoon. Yeah. Is this like the best day of your life? It was one of the best days of my childhood. Yeah. Maybe your life. Maybe my life. No, I have a lot.

It's just like I have this. Chain wallet, Jack in the box, joint porn watching. Yeah, yeah. Pretty damn good. Back to back, Jack. We didn't auto focus, but we did, you know, we did enjoy the porth. That's a good one. Did you give him Brennanwood, hello?

Those are common out here, right? The Brentwood Hello's. Is that what it was? Or is the Brentwood Goodmore? Oh, that's a thing, right? Actually, that's in Nicole Simpson reference, right? Yeah, remember, didn't it? Yeah.

Was that a Beger? Was that a Beger? You would crawl into bed and wake someone up by sucking them off. That's what the Brentwood Hello was. Classic, classic, board rich. Anyway, Susser gave a two forks. Custer gets... Cicero double X would.

What I'm saying That's a scenario where you could use the NyQuil double X. Get down, get up. Wait, Sussard gave a fork score? Susser gave it two forks. He always gets the rumblies from this place.

In fact, he had not been going to or to Jack in the Box, rather, for some time and almost opted out of this meal, but he couldn't pass up free lunch. And he just wasn't particularly impressed by it. I wasn't particularly impressed by today's outing, but like Johnny, I have a strong connection. to some of the things that are staples of their menu,

and I'm going to stay at the same place my fork score was at last time, four forks. What the fuck? Wow. I feel bad. No, you shouldn't feel bad. Definitely feel bad. I feel bad.

You elitist, you snob. No, I love it. I do love it. Snob, elitist. Jack on the Box is maybe one of the first places I ever walked through the drive-thru. In L.A., definitely, is where I walked through the drive-thru. How you can't do that? That's the Larry David thing.

You're not supposed to do it, and they did serve. They did serve me. I did it as a kid on a bike, and then they stopped letting us do it. I was so disappointed. That Larry David, from the Kirby Enthusiasm episode, that Jack in the Box was in Santa Monica on Wilshire Boulevard. Then it closed. It closed. It turned into a Del Taco. That closed?

It closed, turned into a Del Taco, and then that closed like this year, or late last year. It was right by that big building. It was like Wilshire and La Brea. Maybe and Wilshire and closer to... It's more west. Highland and... No, the one he went to was in Santa Monica. Oh, got it's from the West.

Oh, got it's Santa Monica. Okay, never mind. Oh, I know that one. It's by Sonny McLean. Right, right by Sunday McLean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to that one who read a few times, too. Hey, that was our review of Jack in the Box. It's time for a segment.

I've got a food-related exam, and Mitch and Johnny will compete for superiority. It's swap quiz, Sin a menu edition. But before we get into this quiz, compiled by the Drop King, Robert Persinger. Johnny, you brought yourself a snack. Well, I didn't bring it for me. I brought it for you.

You brought it for us. Because I ordered a huge bag, like six bags of these, and I don't have a place to put them, but I know you like Lord of the Rings so much. Oh, yes. And I also think these are the best pretzels ever. It tastes so good.

They're so plain. Lord of the Rings back in theaters right now, by the way. These are back in your mouth. Because they're not actually Lord of the Rings pretzels. They're just ring pretzels. But they're sourdough. There's like three ingredients. They're the best.

They're the best pretzels ever. Their branding does seem. to be kind of like having a loose association with. It's got the font. It's got the font. Open those bad boys up. What the fuck are you doing? These are unique snacks, original sourdough, craft beer, pretzel rings.

I am going to open these up away from mics, so we're not getting crinkling for the misophonics. They're meant for dipping. You know what's a great snack with these? Just some like cheddar cheese, uh, these and some beers while you're watching your paths play. I, by the way, the, the ring, the, just the ring. Look at that perfect ring that watch. Look at that.

Look at this fucking thing. Imagine sliding this down the Alpha's Hawk. Oh, it wouldn't fit. It would break apart. Wouldn't fit, no. It's a simple taste. That's fucking good. A simple, elegant, ancient taste.

Big time snack. Big time snack. I love them. Souradeau. You can taste that sour dough. It is great. Deus one, any pretzel rings? They have a version that's also extra dark.

Wow. like super toasted and super roasted. That sounds great. Yeah. You can buy them. No, you can get more. Yeah. What's it called?

The World Market. Oh, yeah, yeah. World Market in Burbank. They have cool snacks there. Yeah. Cool beers, too. I've never gotten the beers from the world market. I've always just thought it with a place where you can get like a tint of Danish cookies.

Matt, you can get Australian beer there and get the Coopers. The Deas likes it. You need a brewie. with it. Dries you out. Imagine having a beer with this. Oh my God. Like, just get the wagon away from me.

Big time snack. That would be a fun thing to do is to get people off the wagon just by, not by drinking so much, but the environment, like all the smells and snacks. Like, you got to have a beer with this. Just have like four or five beers. It's from playing darts and eating pretzels, yeah. Just have a course. Oh, remember when you were in Australia, you had that Cooper's Pale?

It'd be so good with this with some nice. Garlsberg? Sounds like you've done it to someone before. I said to myself every fucking week. This is Slop Quiz Cinema Edition. The questions will give you the title of a movie, and the answer will be a food from that movie. These should be pretty straightforward.

First up, and buzz in with your name. Okay. These are open-ended. In close encounters of the third kind, 1977, Richard Dreyfus begins to... Jimmy! I heard Mitch first. I know what I don't want to spoil it.

Mashed potatoes? It is mashed potatoes. I was going to say, I was setting my heard close encounters. Meals, can you keep score? Next up. I'm not being nice anymore. Next up. Are you ready to buzz your name?

Okay. In Cool Hand Luke from 19- Mitch. Your Johnny. Hard-boiled eggs. They are hard-boiled eggs. Johnny gets a point. Paul Newman boasts he can eat 50 of them in an hour.

Next up. It's crazy that we've only just heard the titles of the movies. It's going to get harder, I'm sure. Did you eat another pretzel? Yeah. It's going to make it harder for sure. In Raiders of the Lost Arc, 1981,

Harrison Ford nearly eats what poison... It's a date. It is a date, Mitch. I knew that too, but I didn't say it as fast. I knew it, too. I remember that part. Bad dates.

I've seen the movie. A great movie. Okay. Love the movie. I like it, too. Boy, I wish John Rees-Davies could save me from some bad dates. Good on, I'm saying.

Amen. Next up in Honey I Shrunk the kids from 1981. Cheerios. No, I know what it is. They're not Cheerios. Bebib, beep, beep. Johnny.

It is oatmeal cream pie. It is an oatmeal cream pie. The Salinsky children discover what food in the yard and use it to do a forduring. I was thinking about the kid being in the bowl of Cheerios. I fucked up. I think these were, the year here is 1981, but I think this might be a little later, maybe 89 or 90. It might be a transcription error.

Next up, in Ghostbusters, 1984. Harold Ramis uses what snack to represent the normal amount of psychok energetic energy in New York. Oh, man, Mitch. Twinkie. It is a twinky. Mitch gets a point. Amelia, what's the score?

Three to two. Three to two, Mitch. Yeah. Also, you're right. It was 1989 for Honey I Shrunk the kids. Next up, in Boogie Nights, 1997. Don Chiedel is buying what food? Donuts.

They are donuts. He's buying donuts for him and his pregnant girlfriend before the store is robbed. And there's some murder that's happened. Bad. A great scene. What a sequence. What a scene. Bad thing, great scene.

Bad thing, great scene. Bad thing to happen. In Jurassic Park, 1993, the park visitors are treated to what meal before they start their automated tour? Oh. So this is up to here. I knew all of them. These last four, I don't know any of. Johnny.

Yes. Ice cream? It's not ice cream. There is an ice cream scene. I feel like it's like some sort of seafood, but I don't, I can't. You be more specific. I can't remember. Take you guys.

Some sort of fish with bones in it is what I feel like it is. No, I don't know, but I know it's some sort of seafood. It is. I did not remember this specific desk, Chilean sea bass, despite having seen that movie a number of times. Yep. Do we count that or no. No, no, no, no. It's not a good point.

What's the story? But hey, I did kind of know it. I thought it was going to be about the jello that Timmy's or Lex is eating. Oh, the jello, right, yeah. She's shaking her the spoon. I remember that. No, Drop King went for a deeper cut. All right.

Next up, still anyone's game. In Back to the Future Part 2, 1989, Leah Thompson hydrates a Pizza Hut Pizza. Shit, I said it too fast. Go on. What? What's your guess? I can't. What are you?

This is bullshit. Green peppers. Mitch, you got it. What? Fuck yes. Wow. Hydrates a Pizza Hut pizza that's half pepperoni and half what other topping. It is green pepper.

They should be together. They should be together. Why would you get that half and half? Yeah. That's the thing now where you can't get green peppers anymore. It's always red peppers. You know, in that, I mean, this is one of the many scenes, but what's his name? Sue.

No, no, the dad. Crispin Glover, the actor? Sewed because it was, he wasn't, they used a different actor and they used his likeness. That's right, yep. And they showed him from afar, and he was hanging upside down in the house and everything like that, remember. And they, so he sued and he won. Wow. Mitch is going to win, but we got two more.

In Napoleon Dynamite, 2004, John Heeter, rather, stashes what food in his pocket so he can snack in class. Johnny. It's chicken nuggets. They're not chicken nuggets. Mitch. Toblerone. They're tater tots. Oh, see, chicken nuts.

Tater tots. That was pretty close. Sam, did you know that? You feel, you're not. I know. I felt like something potatoy, though. Yeah, yeah. I did know.

That's probably the only one of these that I know. Is that a minute you've seen a bunch? Yeah. Eat and tots. Oh. I've not seen, I love the director of that movie. He's great too. Jared Hess.

And he did the Minecraft movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I don't, I've only seen Napoleon Diamond, maybe twice. Didn't Jared has direct you in a commercial? He did, a progressive commercial. Oh, wow, there you go. He's a, a episode of a TV show. He's great.

He's a lovely guy. Finally. We can make this last one worth a couple points. We want to make it interesting. All right, this one's for all the marbles. In death proof, 2007, Kurt Russell demolishes what food while having non-alcoholic drinks at the bar. Ooh, I don't remember this.

I have nothing. I'm going to guess. I'm going to guess he demolishes olives. It's not olives. Chili dog? It's not a chili dog, Sonic's favorite. It is... Is it something pickled?

It's nachos. Natchos. Natchos. Nachos. Natchos. Mitch wins. Just like a restaurant, I buy your feedback.

Let's open up the feedback. Today's email is from Grace C. Grace writes, last Friday I took my first medical licensing exam. I still have a pretzel in my hand. I'm going to steal a bite when someone else is answering. For some reason, I ate some very spicy Thai food the night before and was having nasty heartburn for most of my eight-hour test. Bad call. Do you have a favorite pre-big event meal?

What did you eat the night before your wedding or your mother's son commitment ceremony? Thanks, Grace. I actually... Wait what? Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, I think that was a shot at you. Yeah, I said I'm marrying my mom. I get it.

Wait a minute. A mother-son commitment ceremony sounded nice at first, and then I realized that it was like me marrying my mom. The rainbow macawess wheel just spinning for like two seconds while you registered as an insult. I'm sorry. I didn't know that someone was accusing me of fucking my mom. For a second, maybe I didn't think that this emailer who seemed nice was accusing me of being in a relationship with my mom. Ma!

Do you, like, do you have any... One, I know you have. Mitch is that you have a pre you have like a Christmas Eve fast food ritual. I go on when I go Christmas when I it's actually when I go yeah no you're right it is on Christmas Eve I get myself a whopper with cheese from Burma King. Yeah and I love doing that. And I do that ever I've done that every year. I hide it for my mom so she can't she doesn't know that I ate a whopper and then uh I mean of course there's holiday traditions like that but that's like not that's not a real holiday tradition. We do seafood on Christmas Eve later.

that night. We do clam chowder and lobster rolls for dinner. We've done that for us. It's a totally different thing. It's a totally different thing. But the quarter, I'm sorry, the, the, the, the wopper with cheese does count. I would say, if there's ever a big event, it's a, it's always, it's been, it's always a, it's always a pizza night for my family. That's kind of what we've always seen. This is a good one. Yeah. I will do if it's available, like basically like a chicken schnitzel type thing. Oh, that's fine. Because it's pounded, it's thin. It's definitely cooked really well. It's protein. You know, that with maybe like a little bit, some French fries or whatever comes with it, it's usually pretty good as far as like not going to make you sick or feel weird. Yeah, I'm having a, I'm struggling with this one because pre-big event usually for me is

something that's going to induce anxiety and that's usually when I'm more likely to want an empty stomach or like eat something light. Like a chicken scissors or salads are going to. Right, right. Yeah. But this does make me think of, you know, I've done some endurance racing. I've done some I've done some marathons

half marathons that sort of thing and the night before that I do tend to indulge and there was an era when the philosophy was you're supposed to carbolo right and so there was a night before the L.A. Marathon me and my dad were running it

we went to Bucca de Beppo we just fucking gorge the night before the marathon now look that was a mistake that was a bad idea but it was really fun but back when Bucca de Beppo was was owned by Robert Irons of Planet Hollywood who kind of turned it mostly into a

you know yeah yeah into a ghost kitchen a factory it was it was better quality and it was we had a great time but yeah I don't know if they have a regular pre-event meal I need to get I need to get one now we should have a doughboys pre-show meal chicken Caesar salad I'm telling you that's like the

that's technically the stand-up comedy one every comedy club has a chicken seizure salad because most comedians want a chicken seizure salad protein, something light. You can pick at it and have a little bit of it and feel like, oh, I ate something, or you can eat the whole thing. It's got the croutons, a little bit of bread. We've done, we've done them on the road, wags.

I got a chicken, I got a chicken Caesar wrap in Chicago. Chick-sacin wrap is great. And the venue was awesome. The den was great. They didn't have food on site. They ordered from a place. And it was one of those things was like, I just didn't feel like we could not get a vegetable in Chicago.

The salad was so low quality there. I got a chicken Caesar wrap when I was at the den. two weeks ago. Wow. As well, I think they probably got from the exact same place. Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty good. Yeah. So yours was pretty good. Mine was, maybe it was a supply issue because of the blizzard. Hey, mine was supposed to be bad.

We hit negative, we had negative digies while we were there, so. How cool is it then, though? Great, the best, the best in Chicago. God bless them.

Any, uh, Sam, Amelia, any, any notable pre-show or pre-show, I'm not pre-show, pre-event meals? I would say,

like goldfish crackers. Something that's plain. and simple. I'm afraid of shitting my pants. So what's the scenario? You've got like a job interview or something?

Yeah, let's just say I have like something important the next day or have to go on a flight even. You're going to interview as associate producer for the doughboys podcast. You're having some do some...

That's not a big event. That's a huge event. How nervous were you when you were interviewing for the doughboys job? I wasn't. Did you guys interview? We did interviewer, yeah.

I wasn't nervous. Before we hired her. I wasn't nervous. You were up against another candidate. Is this the interview? Do you use drugs? So what kinds and do you have enough for everyone? But I usually try to eat something that won't disturb my stomach like pasta, mashed potatoes.

Sure. Goldfish crackers. Sourdough rings. Yes, exactly. Something plain that I know the next day won't get me the reveliest. But what before a big event you're saying? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay.

He just produced a solid BM because of the salt content and the, you know, like the dryness. Sure. Yeah. That's great. You do need to dry it out a little bit to have a solid, you know what I'm saying? We talked about the scale. What is the scale called again? The Bristol School.

Yeah. You probably, I'm sure you know all about this from history. You have a tattoo of it. Sam, do you have a pre-big event meal or go-to a snack or it's okay? I was thinking, yeah, before shows, before my band's play, I keep it. super late. I'd rather be starving on stage. Yeah, sure. Me too. Be full. So I keep it very late. I mean, there's no formula, but I'll snack.

It's like snacky. And then after I'll eat something big and be really tired. Like a boiler maker and some Coke. Yeah. There you get. It's usually a couple of briskeys. Maybe like a cliff bar, boiler maker, and just a little bit of, you know, toilet weed. Why, as you know, before I fly, I don't eat. That's true. You know this.

And it was interesting as we had an afternoon flight when we're out to Chicago. So we're a little bit later. And I was like kind of like, I feel like you probably could have eaten before that flight, especially if you've gotten up a little earlier. You were saying our afternoon flight to Chicago. To Chicago, yeah. Which I took with you. Yeah.

And I did not eat before that flight. Is that because you don't want to shit on the plane? Yeah. That's what it is. A lot of people feel that way. Guess what? It didn't matter. Wow.

You did it? You did it down? It was bad news. You shit your brains out while we were on the ground. While we're on the ground. And they all clapped when I got back from the back. bathroom because they're assholes. Hey,

what's that? Is it nerves or is it just something? I think that the night before I didn't eat great, there was a lot that was going on. Years? I got, um, the night before I got a sandwich from Jersey Mikes and I, I, I think a turkey sandwich and I got, uh, banana peppers on it and banana peppers will get me. Oh, banana peppers will get you, man. Yep, yep.

I also. And popcorn. Popcorn. Popcorn will kill me too for whatever reason. Popcorn? Popcorn. I heard someone say popcorn. It's a Boston thing.

Is it? Is that a Boston thing? Yeah. It's debated. Popcorn. It's definitely a Mitch thing. It's a, I say it accidentally. I also, we mentioned this, I like it.

We mentioned the Chicago live, one of our Chicago live shows, I spilled an entire coffee while we were on the ground. Hot coffee? Hot coffee on the ground onto the floor. So like dumped, like a full coffee, completely capsized, completely inverted, dumped all of it onto the floor at my feet. And he kept saying to the stewardess, uh, stewardess, right? Flight attendant? You can say stewardess. You can't say whatever you want.

I think stewardess is such a great word. We can't do anything. It's a good word. It's such an elegant word. Like what other word is sounds so nice? I also like the the masculine version, Stuart is also a cool thing to say. Someone pulls out a steward and you're like, oh, we got to hang out. Well, the stewardess, he kept saying to the stewardess, he's like, don't worry, it's not spreading.

He kept saying that over and over again. It wasn't spreading. It was contained. It was contained. It was so gross. Look, the point is before we even took off both, both dough boys. befouled the plane with brown liquid. How many times did you tell her it's not spreading?

A couple of times. Did she, like, was she like... She was like, okay. You know how to respond. Don't worry, it's not spreading. It wasn't. It was contained. If you have a question to comment about the world of chain rest, on GM, at Feedback at BirdFuck.com,

we leave his voicemail 830-0-8-0-6-8-4-4. Special thanks to Sam Rogenich for sitting in for engineering today. Sam, you mentioned your band Guck, Where can people check it out? At Guck Band on Instagram. Awesome. For mentioning it. Of course.

Our producers, Emma Erdbrink, our associate producer, Amelia Marino, our video editor, Mike Dorfman, Do Boys merch at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys and the Do Boys'Boys'n the Do Boys'clock where all of our live shows live for 2026, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog over at patreon.com slash doughboys. Johnny Pemberton, congrats on Fallout. Such a cool show. Fallout Season 2 is On Prime. Feel free to plug it and anything else you'd like.

You gotta go see Mermaid Winfins Theaters In April 8th Oh, there you go It'll be the limited draft house theatrical release In April 8th, yeah Mermaid coming soon

I've heard good things I'm very excited to see it It's very fun It's very cool Can't wait to see it Thanks for having me y'all Thanks for having me y'all Yeah, you're killing it

Thank you. We're always lucky to have you here on the pod Why? To hoot Let's, you know what Let's go spread some more brown liquid Hell do it for this episode of doughboys

Until next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. That was a hate gum podcast.