Doughboys - Jack in the Box with Spencer Crittenden

Episode Date: December 8, 2016

West coast burger, taco, and miscellaneous eats chain Jack in the Box gets the fork treatment with the help of guest Spencer Crittenden (HarmonQuest, Harmontown). A discussion of facial hair's effect on eating and the metabolic processes of Gremlins. And, the 'boys ring in the holidays with an A Nightmare Before Christmas inspired Season's Eatings.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We want tacos. When the Los Angeles Lakers are closing in on a win, this chant ritualistically rings out from the Staples Center crowd beneath the numerous championship banners and retired jerseys of Laker legends like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Jerry West, Wilke Chamberlain and Shaquille O'Neal. Since the 2006-2007 season, the Lakers have partnered with the Fast Food Chain to supply each fan with two free tacos after home victories where they hold their opponent to fewer than 100 points.

The chain in question has offered tacos since its founding in San Diego in 1951, and although its menu is dominated by burgers and fries, it has included an array of less conventional offerings like egg rolls, toasted raviolis, teriyaki rice bowls, and currently its overtly stoner focused, munchy meals. But even within the fast food sector with its rampant labor abuses and food safety shortcuts, this west coast eatery has survived egregious scandals, including selling horse and kangaroo meat as beef in the 1980s, and a horrific 1993 E. Coley outbreak that killed four children and nearly bankrupted the company.

The chain swiftly rebounded from its brush with the reaper due to an ahead of its time, quirky, self-aware ad campaign featuring a suited CEO version of the company's titular clown mascot. 23 years after the scandal that inspired the modern Upton Sinclair book Fast Food Nation, the restaurant prospers with franchises in 21 states and a workforce of 22,000. Meanwhile, with 16 NBA championships in its history, including 10 since 1980, the most of any team, every informed and unbiased basketball fan agrees the Lakers are the greatest franchise in professional basketball history.

But what about its marketing partner? This week on Doughboys, Jack in the Box. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're a part of feralaudio.com. I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, cutted cheese-filled water balloon, Mike Mitchell the Spoon Man. Jesus. That one was harsh.

That insult was courtesy of Paige Taylor, pergolurg. And if you have an insult you'd like me to use on Mitch at the top of the show, roastspoonmanatgmail.com. Come on, Paige. What the fuck? Paige was harsh. Yeah. Sounds like a lady. Yeah, she really went after you.

God. This is my guess, is that it's an affectionate sort of. I feel like all the roasts are like, no one's ever like, none of the emails I get in the roastspoonman email are like, this guy's a real piece of shit. They're like, love the show. Hey, here's something you can use on Mitch. It's in good fun. Yeah, I'm sure Paige Taylor really wants a balloon filled with cottage cheese.

I didn't say date. I said she likes you as a friend. Cool. A podcast friend. My entire life. I think that's more than a brush with the Grim Reaper. I think the Grim Reaper came and he did his duty. Right.

Not his duty. He did his evil doings. I guess what I, you know, and I'm not saying it was the most poetic thing ever put to paper, but I guess what I was saying is like, there was the Reaper that killed those kids, but there was also the brush with Reaper metaphorically for the chain itself. When it survived that, like in leading to the deaths of four children through its faulty, its terrible business practices, it nearly died itself, but it was able to survive. Evil company and evil NBA team, Celtics, most championships of any NBA team.

Yeah. Celtics are the most. I mean, most of it was like in the 1950s and 60s, that era when there were like, well, there were like 10 teams in the league and like. Your franchise was in Minnesota. Yeah. And all the players, most of the players in the league were, yeah, the Lakers were in Minnesota and most of the players in the league were like five foot six white guys

named Dolph. It was just a very different era. Anyway. Celtics had all the best players. They were a dominant team. Bill Russell is one of the greatest players of all time. That's for sure. Top five, top three, maybe one of the best, one of the very best.

He's the best. Anyways. You put him above Michael Jordan? I just like saying he's the best. It's a fair thing to say. To Spoon Nation. And also I got a little hometown hero today from my friend Justin Kyler who you may remember, my best friend in Quincy and we, we showed each other, our penis is one of my first

memories. Oh yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Michael, Justin, calling in for the podcast and I want to say hello to Nick and you know, I like you Nick. I think you guys are too hot on each other thinking you need to work on your relationship a little bit if you expect to move forward.

But anyway, I don't have any restaurant to review. I'm also not drunk as Adam was for the last segment. So I just want to say one quick. So he informed me that the pizza came for his daughters, so he got cut off. But he also, he left this. I want to play this real quick and it's a nice, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, so just a little bit longer. I know Nick.

Oh, so there's a little bit more because I thought we're just going to get a cliffhanger. I'm glad we're getting some resolution. Well, he, he, he wrote, he sent me another thing, but I'm going to play this instead, which is a nice little thing that he, that he did for us. Oh god damn this fucking fun. Wait, so what happened to you? What was he going to say? Is that how we're going to hear?

He has two beautiful daughters, pizza came for his daughters and he had to go take care of his daughter. But no, we're going to, God, you know, when you turn this fucking phone sideways and turns into some portrait shit and I don't want to draw anything to send to my friends. Mitch, you got to use the little lock icon. Oh yeah. I did use that a lot. Anyway, here it is.

Oh no. There we go. Yeah. Hold on. It made me mess up. This is very important. This is called podcast. You know what I mean?

Great. Just as a talented guy. Yeah. He's a great guy. A nice little medley of Mario tunes. I thought it was a nice little, you know, we got some invincibility music up top. Yeah. And his daughters were begging for him to stop.

I thought it was a nice, I think that's a nice little send off for you. People don't know, we recorded this podcast out of order next week after this episode, a week from now, you and I get into a fight. Yeah. And it's the entire episode. It's not the entire episode. It's good 45 to 50. There's a decent sized chunk of the episode where we're kind of going at each other.

And I want to warn people now, because I don't, I don't even, the part of me doesn't even want to release it. Right. I honestly, I remember none of it. I know, I know we walked into the studio and then we walked out later. It was a black, yeah, you blacked out in rage and we yelled at each other. And I think we decided to end it at one point. It's, it's bad.

It's a bad, it's a bad episode. It's a bad episode. It's a bad episode. All our episodes are bad, but this is bad in a very specific, unlistenable way. But yeah, no, it's, it's, it's very, so I thought that that was a nice way. You and I are on good terms for now. Yeah. Yeah.

So chronologically, this is going to, this is going to air before the, the, this one will air before the blow up, which is, why are we releasing them out of order? I don't know. We don't have to do that. I guess we don't have to do that. We should at this point. We thought it would be like nice to do a year and a year end wrap up. Right.

We had a little bit of fiction where we just sort of set it up with, with Evan Susser's available. And yeah, he would have been available some other time. Yeah, no shit. Yeah. Why do we do this? I don't know. We made a mistake.

All right. Evan. Yeah. This feels like the real end of the year here. Right. With our, with our, with our great guests who we've been meaning to have on for a long time. We're glad we could finally work it out.

Let's bring him in here right now. He's been waiting very patiently to bring him into the conversation. He's physically in the room. You know, from Great Minds and the History Channel, Harmon Quest on CISO and Harmon Town, which is right here in Feral Audio, Spencer Crittenden is here. Hi, Spencer. Hey guys, I appreciate that kind of praise. I don't believe any of it.

And I feel it was sarcastic. Not at all. I will trust it was genuine. Very genuine. I also want to say that Weiger said right here at Feral Audio and he pointed, like very aggressively pointed down into the studio. It helped me. Oh, you were one of those guys, huh?

Yeah, it helped me. It's like when you see the studio singer and they'll go like, they'll go for the high note and they'll go like, oh you're here. And they'll like point their finger up to try and land the high note. Excuse me. Excuse me. What song? Like they're going like, oh you're here.

And then like, and but if they're going low, they'll go, they'll go down here. And it like, it just kind of helps you to have that physicality. It helps you mentally. It's the same sort of thing. I know this is an audio medium, but the gestures help me. I'm moving my arms right now. The gestures help me personally convey what I'm trying to say with my voice. I'm not a natural.

I don't have a natural. Why are you getting mad at me? I'm just laughing. I'm saying I don't have a naturally expressive voice. My wife, my lovely wife Natalie points out a lot of the times that I sound like I'm mad when I'm not mad or that I sound like I'm yeah, or that I just sound like I'm neutral when I'm trying to be like, oh that's cool and like I sound like I'm not being sincere. Maybe that was what you picked up on Spencer.

You thought that was sarcasm, but I'm trying to be sincere and I just, I can't handle my- You sound like a fucking bitch. No, but I'm not. I'm not, I'm not very expressive with my voice, but using hand motions helps me try to convey that better. Right. I mean, when you hear your, when you hear the podcast, you can't tell that there's

all this gesticulation happening, but you're really kinetic, I would say. I'm like, oh, I like the word kinetic. Yeah. I'm kinetic when I'm drunk and I actually, I'll see myself moving through space. I'm standing here and I'm stepping over here in idle conversation. Right. I must be drunk. But I also sound like a little bitch, I notice.

I think we have the same thing where we don't necessarily know how we sound to other people. Yeah. And I'll just be like, I'll be excited about something and they're like, what are you complaining about? And I'll be like, what am I transmitting? This isn't what I'm trying to do at all. So it's something like that maybe. Yeah.

I think, I think we have similar experiences. I think we've talked about this before that. I think there's a lot of people who are like, I like Wagner, but I think he hates me or something. Right. Right. I feel the same way. And I think a lot of people feel like that about me too.

And I'm like, no, I love everybody that I don't explicitly hate. Yeah. I'm glad I could be here on this podcast. This is going to be before the big fight episode. This is before the big fight. Yes. So I always knew that if I was going to come on the show, it'd definitely be the jumping the shark moment.

So it seems like chronologically that might have been, but how it'll play to the listeners is that I'm ruining the show and the fallout is that you get in a big fight. And it would say, it will segue very nicely into, into the, the, the jumping the sharp shark episode, uh, our blow up. We should call it blow up. We should just call it blow up. We should call the episode blow up. I think you're building it up too much.

I think if people are going to hear it and they're going to be let down, I think people are going to be amped to hear some sort of, hear us go to fisticuffs and then they're going to hear. You know, I think they're just going to hear us to like two people, two grown children whining at each other. And they're going to be like, these guys suck. Why don't we listen to this? Why did I invest so much of my life listening to this awful podcast?

Is there a French movie called blow up? There's blow out. Blow out. That's a, that's a, that's a John Travolta movie. No, not the, not, isn't there a, whatever, a French film called blow up from whatever I wasn't paying attention in film school, like the sixties. Okay. Probably.

Why wouldn't they call it something in French? Oh, God damn it. You're right. There's the 800. Are you thinking of the 800 blows? No. No. No.

You know what? Just forget I even said anything. We'll let it all this out. If you out there know what the, the movie blow up is a hashtag, I know what the movie blow up is. Hashtag Mitch is the next Scorsese. What? You don't think so?

No, probably not. Yeah. You're right. I guess, I guess I probably would have already made a couple of good movies by now. Scorsese at our age probably like had directed good fellas or something. I mean, like, well, how old is he? No, he definitely didn't direct, 1990 is good fellas and he's like seven, right? He's going to be 70 by now.

So, oh, shit. Well, actually, maybe that is, maybe that is. The math might kind of work out. Oh, fuck. The thing I heard, I texted you this, Woodward and Bernstein, I don't know if you know the Spencer, Woodward and Bernstein when they broke Watergate were 28 and 29. Okay. Is that crazy?

Who were those people? I don't know names, man. All the presidents, men, the Watergate scandal, they were the reporters. So, they reported on Watergate. So, they know. Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein. You said that. They reported on Watergate, yeah.

They broke the Watergate. They broke the Watergate scandal. They literally said that. Okay. That makes sense. What were you guys fighting about? It was like about French fries or something? You know what?

It might as well have been about French fries. I think all our disputes are fundamentally rooted in French fries. I think we just were at the point where we were sick of each other for the year. Yeah. And then we got into a fight over multiple things and it was all aired out. And then we also realized that we had to record another episode. Mm-hmm. Like, it was at the end and we were just going to go on break for December.

We also had to record this episode additionally. We shouldn't be talking about this so much. No, no. We shouldn't be cutting. This is the wrong, yeah. We should cut all this. We won't have to cut anything. They'll hear it next week.

It's great. Okay. So, Spencer, I want to ask you some food related questions if that's okay. Sure. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So, I'm curious as a man with a big beard, how long have you had that big beard? Oh, let's say seven years.

Okay. So, how does that intrude upon your food consumption? Can I just interrupt quickly? Yeah. Please. That is like, are you six years old? Why? Like, like, well, how does, does your, do you eat your beard?

Like, like, what type of question is that that everyone, lots of people have beards. Yeah. Spencer has a notable beard. He's got a great big beard. He does have a great big beard. It's really, it looks great on you. I thought it was a good question, but now I feel like I should think it's a bad question. Because it's embarrassing now that I liked it.

Without you like to what? That question. I thought it was good. Oh, no, it's a terrible question, but I am intrigued now. I do want to know, does it get in the way? So, see, now that's a good question. His version of it is terrible, but that same essential question coming from you is now good. Thank you.

Yeah. No, I like it. Not so much. It's really more of this mustache thing because it's really not a beard so much as is not worrying about anything going on on my face. So it all comes out. That includes the mustache. Actually, I think it functions like a bib, which I don't know if you would believe that,

but things that would normally go on to my shirt instead bounce off my beard and then onto the floor. So I think shirt wise, I'm a bit better off than your normal person, but I get all sorts of sauces and stuff in the mustache and that can be really hard, but you got to deal with it. You learn how you're like, okay, I'm going to take a bite and then I'm going to deal with if there's any sauce, I'll take care of that, and then you don't just let it get it absurd.

Right. You know? You got to stay on top of that. I think if you, like, I have that thing where if you trim right around your mouth, it won't be too big of an issue, but I do, I get moments where you're like, I got a hair in my mouth from the beard or whatever, and sometimes that sort of thing of where there's a hair in my mouth and I'm like, oh, it's not even like a loose hair. It's like attached to my beard and I have to like just pull it out.

So it does happen. Yeah. That's what I get all the time, except you seem to be pretty well maintained. I completely let it grow until it gets like to be disgusting in a hassle. So I deal with that a lot, but it's just, I don't know, it doesn't matter. Most of the hair I find in food these days is mine these days, so it makes you not worry about gross stuff like that. Which is great.

A thousand times over, let me find my own hair and my hair meal. I don't know. God. Does that stop you dead from eating the meal, find the hair in it? No, I will take it out and eat the meal. Me too. A bug is like maybe depending on where I feel like the bug has come from, it might stop me in my tracks, but a hair, even if I know it's not my hair, I'll just take it out and

I'll move on. Yeah. Don't you occasionally put hair in your food? No, I'm not going to, I'm some sick fuck with a hair eating fetish. That's disgusting. Are you sure? I'm sure I do not put hair in my own food. I'm certain of that.

It perks up a salad. Hair is so like, I've gotten some pieces of pork before that have a little bit of hair on the meat and that's really upsetting. Whoa, wait. Yeah. Yeah, like if we got like a roast pork. Like a pig hair? Yeah, like a roast pork that's got like a little bit of like on a shoulder piece or

something. It's got like a little bit of hair still on it. Oh my God. Yeah. That's, yeah. Oh, it's also funny, the pigs grow, pigs, I guess in the Simpsons movie, spider pig has little hairdo in the Simpsons movie, doesn't he? Right.

That Homer style. Yeah, he's got a little bit of a hair. The Simpsons marathon is on this week. You've got Simpsons on the brain. I've got Simpsons on the brain. It's great. That show, man, let me tell you, that's some of the best comedy, you know, like the first 10 years there.

Yeah. It's still a great show. I'm just saying that sweet spot there, it's such a funny show. It's so funny. Yeah. It was considered to be its prime, it was really, really something else. It's so funny. It's funnier than anything.

So hard to execute. Like you just look at the script and there's like 12 jokes on one page. Oh yeah. Then those were, must have been workshop jokes. They weren't just the first drafts, like, I mean, I don't know, like you read a script these days and if you laugh once, like in three pages, you're like, wow, this is a good script. Oh yes.

You know, there's so much stuff. Yeah, on the line. It's amazing. There was like a rule there and I'm going to, you might know it, where they were like, you got to keep it to like, like three jokes per line, per page, like something crazy like that, where like every line had multiple jokes and they were like, we have to cut it back. You know, I got, I have a, I don't know if this is worth, I shouldn't say this maybe, but Matt Groening was, when I worked at The Simpsons, he threw away a bunch of old table

read scripts and I was supposed to go recycle them. I didn't. I kept them for myself and they're like old, like original table read scripts. For like classic episodes with Homer's lines highlighted. That means like he used them and like, and the scripts are different, like the table read drafts. So there's like, like they changed them before they aired and everything like that. And I should, I should sell them.

So you just took home a bunch of garbage? I took home a bunch of garbage and like the world's lamest 11 heists as I'm known to do. I mean, not even they were like, go throw these away, but this is like, it's, I think that's fine. I think ethically that's fine. If it was trash, it's fine to keep it. If it's nothing that doesn't mean it's private information on it. And then, right?

I think there's probably clauses that you signed saying that you literally wouldn't do stuff like that. Legally it might not be, you might not be in the clear, but ethically I think it's fine. Fine. I won't sell them then. I'll look at them. Maybe you don't sell them. But it's like, it was a little piece of history, like it's understandable.

It's like how Pope Benedict supposedly the Pope John Paul II kept the private diary and asked for it to be burned upon his death. But Pope Benedict, his successor, formerly cardinal Ratzenberger, what the hell was his name? John Ratzenberger. John Ratzenberger. He had some name like Ratzenberger. What the hell was his name?

Was that the Nazi Pope? Yeah. The Nazi Pope. Who retired? What was it? One more time? Ratner. Ratzinger.

I was close. Ratzinger. Ratzinger. I was close. It's not a name that inspires holy piety. Right. It really isn't. But he insisted on keeping the diary.

Maybe it was the original Bible. Was that guy dead? Pope Francis was personally annotating the original Bible. Yeah. He's keeping it up. And then after Revelations, this stuff happened. It's a job for the Tom Hanks character. What's his name?

I don't know. The Da Vinci guy? Da Vinci guy. Tom Hanks is the Da Vinci guy. Right. The Da Vinci guy's gone on a bunch of adventures since the Da Vinci code. Yeah. He's solved a bunch of religious things going on.

Are they always trying to blow up the Vatican? I have never watched any of those movies. I've never seen any of them. It's always like around the Vatican, right? He's always ventures around the Vatican. I think so. The last one was based on Dante's Inferno. Have you seen any of these movies, Spencer?

No. I worked at a bookstore when the Da Vinci code hit and it became this big sensation. But I never, I just meshed it together with National Treasure. It's like National Treasure. The Da Vinci code is like one of those books that are like people treat me as a dumb guy like you do all the time, Nick. And they're like, with the Da Vinci code, it was like, hey, dumb guy, you should read the Da Vinci code.

Like, you'll like the Da Vinci code. And I started reading the Da Vinci code. Robert Langdon is his name, right? Langdon? That sounds right. That sounds right. I think so, yeah. And the author is Dan Brown?

Dan Brown, yeah. And I started reading the Da Vinci code. I was like, this sucks. I threw it away. I didn't read it. Too hard. Look up too many words. I mean, I read a Super Smash Brothers instruction manual.

I like the idea that you threw away a book that you didn't like, just toss it in the trash. That's a very Simpson thing to do. Yeah. He throws a book in a fire. He's reading the lottery. Let's just retell Simpson's jokes we like. It's great.

You know, if we didn't review, if we didn't, if this wasn't, because we talked about what this podcast would be, I think you remember one point where I was like, I like movies and I like TV. Right. We were talking about like maybe doing something in that world of, I mean, it just became nonsense anyways, no matter what we did. We'd probably still talk about food as much on a TV or a movie podcast. But at one point, I did want to make it be like a TV podcast or something like that.

And I could talk about Simpson's all day, but that's not fun for anyone, I feel like. Yeah. Well, no, it is fun. I mean, there's podcasts that do that. Yeah, it's a great podcast. Kelly Gertz and Julia Prescott have a great podcast. Everything's coming up to Simpson's. Yeah.

And it's moving to Feral Audio, actually. Oh, that's great. They'll be here in 2017. Yeah, that's okay. I think there's, I think there's, the people have, everyone celebrates the Simpson's. It comes up in casual conversation a lot for people of our generation. But yeah, I feel like we set it on the right topic for us. We have strong opinions on food.

Yeah. Oh, no, this is the best podcast concept there is. I could swear before Doe Boyz was around, I was like, oh, there should be a podcast about just shitty restaurants and stuff. Like, this is great. This is, you know, food is essential to the human experience. I'd say it's number one. Yeah.

Food is number one. In my mind, I know that that sounds pathetic. You have to do it every day. No, that's right. Yeah. What, okay, name some pitches for what might be number one to better people. People will say, like, booze or sex or, I've, okay, I gotta say, I've had, I'm not a sexual wallflower.

I've had some sex. Food is way better than sex. Food is better. I think food is also better than sex. Would you say the three of us in this room are the three biggest fuck monsters in Hollywood? Yeah, I think, oh man, we got, I can just imagine us walking into a dance club and immediately being turned away. Being photographed so our pictures can be put up at the box office.

The three biggest fuck monsters in Hollywood, I think is accurate. But yeah, no, food is a thing you have to do every day and everyone does it. Everyone has opinions on it. Everyone has tastes and, you know, fluids are, I mean, they're just less, like, consuming fluids. I thought you were talking about sex still. Consuming fluids is like, it's also a thing that's kind of omnipresent, but it's like, there's just less variety there, you know, and I feel like it also kind of folds in

with food. Yeah. I think it goes hand in hand. It also can be such a virtue or such a vice, like you can eat very well and you can feel good about yourself or you can just eat like shit and just, just hate yourself. Yes, I agree with that. I also, I mean, like when you're drinking to, it makes you feel sick. Right.

And like, and I mean, I'm thinking strictly alcohol or whatever, like getting fucked up in quotations is like a thing that people are like, that's cool. And I think that food is a billion times better than that. Yeah. So, wait, are we, but are we ranking right now we're discussing, are we talking in a meta sense of food as its value as a conversation topic or are we talking about food, how much we like it? How much we like it?

Like, it's better than us. Unlike the, unlike the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but for things we like, like food is like really. Yes. To put it in more complicated terms than I didn't understand, like Maslow, who's Maslow? The hierarchy of needs. It's like a, it's like a pyramid sort of thing. Self actualization.

Yeah, it's kind of like the food pyramid, but it says, you know, like, like, you know, at the very top is like oxygen or at the bottom. I don't remember exactly how it's structured, but like the things you need the most are prioritized the highest and the things you need the least are, you know, like more like emotional support or lower. Maslow, you got a lot of free time on here, buddy. Figure out dumb pyramid. No, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say food is, is, is the, is the top of that period.

Right. I mean, you need it also for sure. That's the trick. Yeah. It's like, you don't need video games or drugs, you need, but that's why people get addicted to it. You could, you could say, Oh, I don't need cigarettes to live. Yeah.

But like, you can't quit food. You just can quit bad food, but that's still the same as food in your, you know, mentally. Right. Yeah. It's, it's like almost harder to break the bad diet habits because you still have to do the same act of consumption. I guess it does get me depressed too. Like, uh, I feel like there was a moment where I was like, when I found out that food was

my vice, it's a moment where you, because, uh, Deweiger, you're probably similar. Yeah. But when I found out that food was my vice, I remember it being a depressing realization that it's like, you, like, you know, like, oh, Led Zeppelin stories and they were addicted to partying and drugs and rock and roll and I'm like, I'm addicted to like a burger. Yeah. Right. A burger and cheese is what, like, I, like, I need that more than anything.

And that's kind of a, it's a pathetic when you think about it, but I, I, I rather a burger than Coke. You know. Yeah. Of course. That's what I mean. It's like, really, you want to worship partying. It's stuff that's, it's good for some people, but personally I don't, I don't, I don't even

like it that much. Yes. Come on. Come on. Food is great. Cheese. Come on. Fucking cheese.

Cheese is, I think cheese, well, how you at one point said that gravy was your favorite food when you were younger. I used to think that too. I think cheese is maybe just my favorite food. Oh, yeah. Cheese is fantastic. Cheese is great. And it's, it's so versatile.

I have cheese every day. I have cheese every day too. I love, I fucking love cheese. You know, I saw, I saw a really interesting article a while back and it was about a bunch of esteemed chefs in China who weren't super familiar with cheese as a flavor profile. And they had them do like a cheese tasting. And like all their reactions were just like very, they were just very confused by the sensation because it's such a distinct thing that you can't really replicate with non,

with non-dairy versions of it, especially some of the more, you know, specific cheeses. Like how do you do blue cheese? How do you, what's, what's the vegan blue cheese like, you know? What's the vegan brie? Like how close are you coming in terms of texture and, and flavor with those? And cheese can stay good for a long time. I remember in college, my roommate Matt Granite, he would put a block in there and he would cut off the mold if it got moldy, which I think is kind of gross.

Yeah. I don't do that. Yeah. It's not ideal, but you know. Oh. If you can, if you can. You can't do that though. Yeah.

If you're looking to save money on food, that's a great way to do it. If you're not looking to spend money on food, why, why take the risk? Yeah. Let me tell you. Cheese never gets moldy in the Weigher household because it's going in my mouth. Wait, that's why it never gets moldy? Yeah. I eat it too fast.

You store it in your mouth? Oh, okay. Yeah. Can we, can I quickly say it's hot? Are you guys hot? A little toasty. Can we possibly, thank you so, it's, it's hot. I thought it was hot.

We can cut this out of the podcast. No, no. Let's leave this in. This is, this is, this is the most interesting part of the podcast so far. Matt's coming in with a palm frond to fan us. Thanks Matt. Thank you Matt. What is he doing?

Matt, how long have you been with Farrell now? You're very new, right? Yeah, it's a week now. It's only a week because Matt recorded two of our episodes last week. That's right. And then he's recording this one. We're hazing him too. We're already getting to know.

Yeah. He's a good guy, you know what I'm saying? He's wearing a diaper right now. Yeah. He worked on a Harman Quest. He worked on a Harman Quest. Oh really? Yeah, yeah.

He helped us out. He actually quit Harman Quest to work for Farrell. Oh, okay. Oh man. Yeah. More down, I don't know. Should we up the hazing or down the hazing? You mess with him.

You got to go through me, man. No, Matt's actually, you know, Matt's quit. Matt's great. Yeah. I just feel like it's only been a week, but I feel like he's already, he already hates us. Yeah, he already hates us. He's had to listen to his talks for so long.

Wait, was his first episode literally the last week when we got into a fight? Well, no, we did the Coolop episode first. Oh, that's right. Right, we heard that one. Yes, yes, okay. All right, good. I think we talked way too much about scheduling and chronology now. So we kind of like the meta aspect of the podcast where we're talking about the podcast.

We might need to go away from that. No, that's great. That's the best part of the lore. For me, like, you know, when you're talking to someone or something, like, and you're like, oh, what am I going to talk about? For me, like, scheduling and doing this podcast is like 50% of my life, so I have nothing else. I'm like, I'm going to go to Doe Boys tonight.

Like, that's like mostly what I say to people. I have nothing else going on. Yeah, and also it occupies a surprising amount of time trying to schedule. We now have a regular time we're recording it, so that'll hopefully make things a little easier. But yeah, it's so much of like us texting back and forth and texting Dustin, and then trying to, you know, texting our guests. And then me being like, I have like a meeting, I can't go, and then we have to reschedule

everything. Yeah. And then the next time is like kissing my cats on the head. That's the truth. I love kissing my cats on the head. Our buddy, Jordan Morris, he likes to carry his cat from room to room. Yeah, I like to do that too. That's a great thing to do.

Just like hold it and just walk around. Yeah. Hashtag. Oh, yeah, sorry. No, hashtag what? Hashtag, how do you cat? I do that too, where I'll hold my cat, and then wherever she looks, I'll move in that direction, like I'm a giant robot that she controls.

Oh, that's amazing. She probably loves that. I hope. Wally thinks that there's a spider on the ceiling, which there is, because I killed one and it's stuck on the ceiling. So he's a... Get it off of there. I know, I should get it off.

Give it a proper burial. I gotta get it off. But he's been obsessed. He's been looking at the ceiling at this dead spider, and he wants to like go up and get it or whatever. I'm like, I'm telling him it's dead. You know what I mean? The thing is dead.

But he's obsessed with this dead spider up there. So... Get a step stool. Get a little Windex. Get that guy off of there. Yeah. If you're telling him he's dead and he's still making a big deal out of it, you should really do something.

He might notice something that you don't. Maybe he's still... It could be still... Maybe it's just... I crippled it or something, and it's just sitting there. Or it's dead, and now you got an angry ghost spider in your apartment, because he didn't lay his body to rest. Right.

It's the ghost of the spider that I see. Don't do this. Halloween is... Oh, we got past our scares for God's sakes. But if anyone can see ghosts, it's animals. You know that's the case. That's right. That is a scary thing with the...

Last night I was in bed, and Wally got up and looked over to like a corner of the room. Yeah. And I was like, there's probably like some devil or something. I can't... That I can't see. How many devils are there in your worldview? One of multiple devils is in the corner. I truly...

I thought this last night... It was like 5 a.m. I had... I got woken up. My mom texted me and said, she was asking me what I wanted for Christmas. She's been trying to ask me what I want for Christmas. And the text last night that I woke up to was, what's the nest classic is what I woke up to? And then Wally woke up and looked over in the corner and it scared the shit out of me.

That some devil... I'm not going to get the next classic. And I told her, oh, it's a Nintendo system or whatever. And then she wrote back like, it's $250 and I'm like, oh, no, that's not... Is it really that much? No, I don't think it is. I think she's like trying to buy it off like... Secondary.

The man who sold the Chucky doll in the Chucky movie is who she was trying to buy it off of. In child's play, she was trying to buy it off the same man who sold the Good Guy doll. And so I was like, oh, don't buy it. But I was genuinely freaked out. Justin, who I played the hometown hero, he has a knight... I talked about this on the podcast where I saw a spider, where it's a knight terrors... I think maybe sleep paralysis.

Yeah, yeah. I get that. And he sees the shadow man, the man in the hat. He sees the man in the hat, and he says it's the worst, scariest thing and happens to him all the time. I get like hulking figures when I get the sleep paralysis. You see like giant men hulking over my bed. And your eyeballs turn into hearts.

You get a burner and they steal a part of their moves. It is a terrifying experience. Have you ever had any weird sleep stuff, Spencer? I know what sleep paralysis is. The closest I've had is one time I fell asleep at a party and my dream was that I was awake lying face down at the party. So I was perceiving all these elements of party happening and it was interpreted by my brain as, oh, I'm laying in this dark room around this party.

And then I woke up and then there was three people in the room. They weren't making noise or whatever, but they were just in the room. And so I realized that my perception of this party that happened was completely made up and there is a completely different also existent party happening in the room I was in. So it's not, it wasn't sleep paralysis, but it was that same thing where for all intents and purposes I believed I was awake and perceiving reality, but I clearly was dreaming. That's terrifying too because it hasn't happened to me very often at all, but you can pass out at a party or whatever.

And that is like the worst when you're conscious and you're laying at a party and you're messed up or whatever and not that this has happened to me a lot in my life and this is also why I don't like partying, but it's that sort of thing of where I'm like, I'm aware of my surroundings. I know that people are like, is he okay or whatever, but you can't do any, it's like an out of body experience. It's really, it's very strange and you can't do anything and that is like the worst feeling in the world to me.

So that nightmare comes from a real place, but I want to get away from nightmares, which is my fault. Spencer, you grew up in California? Yeah, I actually grew up in Moorpark, which you name checked in your Wood Ranch episode. It was like, I think the first Wood Ranch. So I was really upset by all the things you said about Wood Ranch. I think it made a lot of sense. They've been slipping lately, but it was all very upsetting to hear, you know, like my childhood.

Mitch had a particularly bad experience. No, it was true. And that happens. I've been there literally this year. I think that's been happening more than it used to because they used to be solid and nowadays their mashed potatoes can be weak and their mashed potatoes are literally the best mashed potatoes on the planet when they're not weak. I think you tweeted this at me.

Oh yeah. I went on a rant. I'm willing to give it, we talked about this for when we run through every restaurant to revisit. What were we going to call it? We were going to do a patch episode, like a 1.1 update where we go through and we update all our old scores, but I think it will take us literally like five hours to get through all the restaurants.

Yeah, yeah. Maybe we could do it. We could do that at some point. We could do it. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like the most unexciting thing to ever record. Right.

No, that's great. I mean, I know that you love the banter and the comedy, but I come for the food talk. That's what the big, this is what the big fight was about. Oh boy. They're both valuable. Hashtag the blow up. But you need, you know, people come from both, man. Right.

I love the food aspect. You know that that's true. It just gets depressing. I mean, the problem is all this food tastes the same. You go to McDonald's, it tastes salty and crunchy and there's some beef and you go to Taco Bell and it's salty and crunchy and some beef. There's just not too many different things you can say about it. You definitely start to identify similar flavor profiles and also too, like there's all these

trends kind of come in waves. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So, you know, for the past couple of years, it's just been so dominant at these chain restaurants. And before that, it was like in the, you know, the food truck and more of the indie fine

dining scene. And it's just like, it's just overwhelming to be, to encounter it everywhere. Spencer, as a California resident, what were some of your favorite spots growing up? What were some of your favorite food and places to go and stuff like that? You got to go in and out. Oh yeah. You got to go Del Taco. There you go.

Okay. So, Del Taco. They're great burgers. They are great. They are great. They are, oh my God, you can get a burger that tastes like a burger. It's like, no, you should go there to get a burger from Del Taco. That's how good they are.

I normally, I've never seen someone so ready to jump on it. Like you just were, you, when he said the burger's good, you were like, they're great burgers. Yes. It seems like you were waiting your entire life to say that the Del Taco burgers are good. Look, this is great. People think it's like an add-on to the menu, but they're great.

I used to get the burgers like every time. I used to get the Double Hell, Cheeseburger. Yeah. Here's what I'll say about their burgers. They're very classic in a good way where it's like, oh, this is a classic burger. They taste real. It tastes real. It does.

They do a good job with that. I like Del Taco. Yeah. I'm harder on in and out burger because you have overrated it so much as time's gone on. And here's the thing. Read it fairly and accurately. You guys got to get the well done fries.

So, you know, there's this whole secret menu. The thing is, in and out, they fry their fries once. Everywhere you go, you get double fried fries. Right. Now, you get single fried fries. You're like, what the fuck? That's because they're not the fries you eat. But if you get them well done, they'll double fry them, and then all of a sudden, they taste

the same as anyone else. Okay. So, they're great. This is a thing, and this kind of speaks to a personal philosophical shift I had a while back where I became a default man. And I just said, I'm like, okay, I'm going to go with the defaults because it just makes my life a little simpler and easier to process. And so, I used to get fries well.

There was a time when I got fries extra well done. Wow. I was like, fry them three times, and they're super crispy. That's too much. They're almost, it's excessive. I toned it back down to well. Jesus. But then at a recent point, I'm just like, you know what?

I'm just going to get the fries as they come. I'm not going to dick around too much with a secret menu. I'm just going to keep things simple. It's like, oh, I drink black coffee. I don't put anything in. I'm just like, if I just train myself to like the default, I don't have to worry about it ever. I think you got that sentence master on there.

How so? What did I say? You're going to get the fries while you come, is what you meant to say. Like while I nut in my pants? What are you talking about? You got to tie it so you come around the corner, right? Also, by the way, the robot man loving the default option is very funny to me. Of course, give it to me the way that the factory wants me to have it.

I feel like when I'm reviewing a place, like especially if there's like a special burger or something. We've talked about this. You sometimes don't want to do the special thing. You want to get what they're known for. But you got to admit in and out's default fries are not the best version of those fries. They're just, they're under, you know that that's true. I get what you're saying.

I think it's a preferential thing. Your tastes are certainly valid. But I really like them. I think it makes sense that you don't think they're as fried because they're literally half as fried as any fry you get. I have a problem where I don't get salt on my fries. I go to McDonald's, I ask for fries, there's no salt. I go to Carl's Jr., I ask for fries, there's no salt.

It's insane. I feel like I've been cursed by a gypsy, like literally. Because it happens so often that it's really, it's existentially upsetting to me because I'm like, what have I done that I just can't get salt on fries? The thing that comes with salt, like they're made to eat salt, you know? A hundred percent. It's torturous. When I was younger, I always wanted for just a period of time that thinner cursed from

Stephen King, you know, the movie Thinner. Yeah, I know what it is, but I don't know how it works, exactly. The guy gets cursed because he like hits the gypsy's daughter or something and kills her in a car and then he curses him thinner and he loses a bunch of weight, and I wish I could get that fucking curse. It would be great. Just for a little bit. Just for someone?

That seems like not a curse. It's not, but then that's the thing. It turns into, like he gets so thin, he gets thinner and thinner, and he's like just a bones pretty much towards the end. I think it ends with him as a skeleton walking around as a skeleton. But you maybe got, you may have, because sometimes people get over salted. Not getting salt is, that's a weird thing to happen. It's not, you do not want to eat it.

It's not like, oh, I can manage. It's like, no, I'll throw these away. I don't really like fries that much just because it's like, you know, they're a ton of carbs and they're like an extra $2 and I'm coming for like the spicy chicken sandwich anyway. So like, you don't want, I don't really like fries, especially when half the time or more than half the time, they're just, you know, a waste of money that's offensive to me. Wait, you don't really like fries in general? I don't, no, I'm sick of you insinuating.

I don't like fries. Okay, alright. No, I like them, but they have to be done well and it's very easy for them to be done poorly. Like I'd say that the standard kind of diner fry that's just a thick cut fry that just tastes potato-y with a crisp edge, I don't really like that that much. It tastes like potatoes. I'd rather eat it like a big potato, but with fries, it's got to be really crispy and

really salty. Otherwise, like, what are you doing? I agree with that. Here's what, and I'm the guy who accused you of not liking fries. Here's, if I go to like a fast, if I go to Wendy's or something, and I love the Wendy's fries, but I'm with you, I'm there for like that burger and then if it was a choice between like a burger and then another small sandwich and no fries, I'd probably do that. You know what?

I get what you're saying because there was a time, especially when I was value-oriented and ordering a lot more value menu stuff when I was a little less financially secure, I would go for... And now you're a millionaire. Yeah. Off this podcast, weirdly. No, I would get like the two different sandwiches from the dollar menu. I'd get like the McChicken and the McDouble or whatever.

I think that's where we're filling. A McPick 2 kind of came from that whole thing, which I think is a great deal. Yeah, that's kind of what I did not to segue. Also... Let's segue. If there's a gypsy out there that can help Spencer out, get that salt curse back on him. Curse him with salt. I love it.

Not too much. Don't go with salt, crazy. You know that classic gypsy curse, just a moderate amount of salt? All your food has proper sodium levels? Here's a question for you. If the gremlins ate salt after midnight, would that do anything? Could they eat condiments? I bet that salting a monster-fied gremlin would shrink them back together.

Because the water multiplies them, right? Is that what it is? Interesting. Yeah. I think that there's probably a certain caloric... They say don't eat them after midnight and it's kind of like, whoa, it's always after midnight if you want to be pedantic. But also, I think feed...

I think there's a certain caloric intake they have to have that triggers a metabolic process. They start to digest enough food and that's what causes it. So I think if they had just a little bit of salt, it might cause mild gremlinism, but I think they'd have to eat a whole handful. It would cause mild gremlinism? Yeah, they might just twitch a little bit, but they're not actually going to transform. They have a bunch. It's like if someone's got a peanut allergy and you give them a little milliliter of distilled

peanut... And there's a little bit of gremlinism. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they might lose some hair. But yeah, we should say we were going to bring up Jack in the box. Yeah, I had a good segue and then I fucked it up. And then we got into gremlins. I want to talk about how Harmon wrote a gremlin script and there's a lot more.

No one's ever read it. I think he wrote a whole gremlin script. My idea for a gremlins movie would be that Gizmo turns into a gremlin and then somehow at the end he turns back. But that was my big thing. Oh, that's a good idea. Because he's the ultimate killer. He knows the kid's routine.

Yes, yes, and he would be forced to turn into a gremlin, but Harmon hated that. He got mad at me when I even said that Gizmo would become a gremlin. It's a great spin-off idea, but I can understand how as like a middle-of-the-road sequel it might be a little jarring for Gizmo purists. Well, I guess originally the idea was to have Gizmo become Spike or Stripe or whatever. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, and then they changed it. So, Hollywood already decided not to do that idea.

They already didn't like your good idea. Probably in today's Hollywood, you know what they're going to do with the gremlins remake? What's that? Make them girl gremlins. Oh, fuck that shit. Yeah, man. Oh, when I see the gremlin, I want to see its big green dick. It's part of the canon.

It's not us. That's just what the series is. How it is. They're built on being men. You can't just ruin years and years of celebrated history just for some inclusion now and again. I'm going to say this one thing. What are the normal, the furry ones called? The furry ones are Mogwai.

When you see a Mogwai, it's got an adorable little dick, and then they turn into a gremlin that's got the big old monstrous dick. Yeah, big old green dick. You guys will probably get mad at me for this. It's kind of gross. But if the green gremlins, you know how there's a female gremlin? If she got horny and got wet in quotations, and then one of the gremlins fingered her, would that cause him to multiply?

God damn it. Jesus, I am mad at you. I didn't think I would be mad, but I am actually upset. It's fucking disgusting. Yeah. I just, wow. I think the producers like it. So everyone out there is giving thumbs down.

Someone's making a call. They can't, I mean, you know, you guys might not know this, but I'm a dungeon master. So understanding the inner workings of monsters is very natural to me. You can't, you gotta assume these are animals, so they have bodily fluids. You can't assume that their own bodily fluids are setting off their own metabolic processes. Otherwise, they'd, like anytime they'd cry, they'd like turn, you know, Spenser, that is the answer I was looking for, actually. I think that's a great response, and I think you're right.

Yeah. It'd have to be. Even if it was from another gremlin, I think they would have to be inoculated. Like otherwise during birth, that would happen, right? That's a good point. Mitch. Great point. What was your segue?

I'm curious what it was going to be. Speaking of gremlins, we're going to a place where you'd like to eat after midnight. Jack in the Box. That's a thinker. Worth it. Worth it. That wasn't my segue. It was a long time ago about eating two sandwiches, and it was going to be, that's what I did

at Jack in the Box, but it was so long ago, it doesn't matter. Let's try that one. Yeah, that would work too. Speaking of eating two sandwiches, that's what I did last night at Jack in the Box. Nice. That's a good segue. You guys are getting good at this. It's a shame you're jumping the shark in there, so.

Well played. You know what? Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back. We'll talk Jack in the Box right here on Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. Spencer. Oh, yeah.

Jack in the Box is a place you've been, you have a lot of knowledge of. I love it. I love it. It's the best. It's not the best. It's great. You got it a lot as a kid growing up in SoCal, because I got it a ton as a kid. Yeah.

It was one of my most visited chain res, or fast food chains. Right. Wendy's and Jack in the Box, I think, were the top two for me. Hell yeah. It's so, I don't know, but it's not in very many places, right? There's a lot of places that don't have Jack in the Box. 21 states, apparently. Right.

I think it's mostly the Western United States. I didn't know, I learned via people like Mitch, that it was, because I went to, even going to college, I went to UCLA, and most of the student body UCLA is from California from the Western United States. Like it was like, there was someone on our floor, our dorm floor from Texas, and I was like, oh, from Texas. That was an exotic thing. So most of the people I encountered through early adulthood, childhood and early adulthood

were people from California. I just assumed Jack in the Box was everywhere, but it's mostly in the Western US. Was the guy from Texas George W. Bush? Yeah. Right. He was a 45-year-old college freshman. You took him under your wing, and now he's the president. Right.

Yep. He was elected while you were in college, I would guess, right? Let's see. It would have been, yeah, it would have been 2000. And you know what? I was very jaded during that election, and my attitude on Bush v. Gore was, doesn't matter who's president. Wow.

They're all just ruled by the corporations. Right. Fuck. Yeah. You destroyed the country. Well, I voted in California. Bro, my vote in the presidential election has never mattered. Good point.

Yeah. Same with me, with Massachusetts and now California. Solid blue states. Solid blue states. But yeah, so Jack in the Box was a chain you got a lot growing up. Oh, yeah. But it's just, you know, it's a utility player. Right.

You don't go, you go to Wendy's because you want the burgers, you know, you go to McDonald's because you want, I don't know, hash browns are good at McDonald's, I guess. But you go to Jack in the Box because you want tacos and egg rolls. Yeah. And that's the role it fills. If you go there because you want, oh, let's get a classic burger, that's not the place to go. But if you treat it like what it is, which is the Swiss army knife of, you know, chain

restaurants, I think it's a perfect fit in the landscape. That's a great point. That's a great way to describe it. I kind of put Carl's Jr. in that category, too. Oh, yes. But I guess you get even more variety at Jack in the Box. Jack in the Box has everything. It has everything.

They really do have it. There was a point where they had, like, such a, their menu was so eclectic. I mentioned in my intro, my, one of my, when people ask, like, what's a chain restaurant side or what's a chain restaurant item that you wish they'd bring back, the Jack in the Box toasted raviolis were like one of my favorite things that I've ever had. Did you ever have those? They were for a limited time. I feel like one, one time.

They were fucking great. Do you know what? I've known you now for almost 10 years or whatever. I think that's the thing I know about you the most is that you wish that Jack in the Box brought back the toasted raviolis. Yeah. It would be good. They, they, they make such good random side, like that was the first, the first thing I

ever got there that I was like, oh, this place is good as the bacon cheese potato wedges. Right. Which are just like, it's a mess of like Irish nachos almost, you know, they're kind of, those are great. They've got, it's the kind of thing too of like, it's got the cheese sauce, but they have items with like a traditional cheese, but this one, this is like one of the few things that has like that nacho cheese sauce and it's got like these very small little bacon bits that may be artificial.

It's hard to tell. Yeah. And I got it, you know, they'll give you like some sour cream on the side if you order it, but they'll give you the sour cream in like a weird sour cream pouch, but it's like great. I don't know. It's really like, they have like, they have a bunch of, and then they also had chili fries right now.

I'm not sure if they still have chili or they have chili cheese, the chili cheese, curly fries. They're fries are their own thing because they've got those, the standard fries and they got the curly fries. I remember when they unveiled the curly fries and it was kind of like a revelation, Arby's also had, has the season curly fries, but Jack in the box, I feel like was really putting them on the map, at least in my consciousness. Yeah.

That's when I was younger. That's why I'd go over things. It was like, I could get a chicken sandwich here, I could get a chicken sandwich with the curly fries. I used to like the criss-cut fries at Carl's Jr., but I swear to God, something changed and they don't taste the same as they used to. I agree with that. I think over the 10 years, the last 10 years, I think I've even noticed that.

Yeah. They're gross now. Like I used to love them and now I really don't like them at all. Carl's Jr. is such an interesting place because there's that douchey side of it, which we used to talk about, which is like, check out this girl eating this huge beef burger. Yeah. You don't want to support that. You don't want to support that, but then also at the same time, they're like freshly

made bun. Like it's like, wait, but you're all about hand-breading your chicken, but then at the same time, look at this girl eating a sandwich on a car, it's very strange. I'm so passionate about two things, objectifying women in high-quality, low-quality ingredients. It's a weird couple where I feel like Jack in the Box, not that they are like proud of that, but they just, they don't put any air on it. They're just kind of like, we're Jack in the Box and this is what you can get and this is what you can do, which I appreciate that.

I don't know if I love Jack himself, the spokesman. The mascot. The mascot, yeah. But yeah, you're right that there's no pretense of like they're never talking about anything being healthy or being like, you know, hand-breading or whatever. Yeah, there's nothing like that. Right. Or even good.

Yeah. Absolutely. This was on that topic. I'd read a rumor. I'd heard this rumor a bunch. In fact, it came up when I was getting Jack in the Box on Sunday night recently, just the night before we recorded this, the idea that the tacos are vegetarian. They are not vegetarian.

The meat inside of it is very weird and hard to identify. It's like this weird brown mush, but I looked it up and it's a mixture of chicken, beef and soy protein. Huh. That sounds fucking awesome. That sounds awful. It is really, I mean, it's great, but it's really fucking gross what actually goes into the process.

Armin told me today that he had heard, he said that they were not meat tacos. Yeah, it's a common rumor and I wouldn't be surprised if they were mostly soy protein because it's more cost efficient, but they put in just enough meat in there so they can say that they have ground beef, like whatever the FDA minimum is. Can we talk about the tacos first? I feel like we've got to talk about the tacos. You have to start with the tacos. You've got to talk about these tacos because they're...

It's the essence of Jack in the Box. Every single person I know that grew up out here, every single one of you, talks about these tacos. I fucking love the tacos. Every single one of you. I swear to you, for instance, the first person I lived with in California who I didn't know until I met him, this guy, Justin Krochenczyk, and he brought me to Jack in the Box and it was my first experience with Jack in the Box.

He loved the tacos. So many people just love... So many... I'm sorry, California residents who were born and bred and raised here, they love Jack in the Box tacos. I like them. Don't get me wrong. I love them.

I love how they're deep fried. They're their own thing. When I ate them, I'm like, oh, I've never really had anything like this before. Exactly. I later will go on to... There are tacos in LA that you can get that are like the deep... Dorados, right? Yes, Dorados.

Yeah. And so I would eventually have something like that and a higher quality... Tito's tacos kind of like that too. Tito's tacos are like that too, but I didn't have Tito's until like a few years ago or whatever. But yeah, it's a weird different thing that I feel like a lot of people probably haven't tried before. It's probably the...

I think it's the least authentic interpretation of the taco that's commonly available. It's so weird because it's like flat, which is a weird thing to say. It doesn't have any of the kind of... You typically kind of have that sort of U-shape where you've got like a little cradle of meat. It's just basically pressed flat, like a taco version of a panini. And then it's deep fried with everything in it, including I think the lettuce. The lettuce comes out damp and ruined. That is the weirdest thing about those that the lettuce feels like it was fried into the

fucking show. Yeah. It can't be that, right? I mean, we should... If anyone knows, they should hashtag something, right? Hashtag... Hashtag... Let us know.

Oh, that was actually good. That's... I mean, not really good, but... Yeah. But no boy's hashtag standards. They had Robert Langdon on it. I'm sure he can figure out. He can Da Vinci code this Jack-in-the-box taco origin story.

And then it's also got that taco sauce, which is like just like a very mild. It doesn't really have any spice to it. It's just like a kind of mild tomato base. But it's rare to have it. And American cheese. Yeah. The American cheese is what sells it. But it's rare to have sauce on a taco.

Like you get a taco from, you know, a standard crunchy taco. It doesn't have like a sauce on it. You put it on yourself. Yeah, you're adding it. And I'm never going to add a sauce like on my own. Like that's too much work. But if there's sauce in a taco already, it's like, yeah, give it to me. But I think that the tacos are essentially inverted nachos.

Like because you get this melty cheese. You get this bullshit processed meat. And you get this gross, disgusting, greasy tortillas. But you just get to eat it. You know, it's all in a pocket. And so you don't have to like do it like nachos. But it has the flavor profile of just disgusting, terrible nachos, which is great. This is a great theory.

And you know what? Like, weirdly, they had a limited time menu option, which was their taco nachos. Did you ever have this? No, that sounds terrible. Where they took two tacos and they cut them up. No, maybe I have. Yeah, they cut them up into nacho sized taco portions and then poured cheese over it. It was like a horrifying mess.

It was like a crime scene when you opened up the box, but it was great. That's critical mass of jack in the box. Well, I feel like that is, because here's what I'll go on the record as saying this. I think that that taco is one of the most convenient tacos if you just want to eat right. No, that's the thing. You go, oh, I could stand to eat two tacos and some bullshit, and you go to jack in the box. You're not going to spill it on your lap, as you say.

If I'm eating this in my car, which I probably am a lot of the time, like with a Taco Bell taco, I'm going to spill it way more than that taco just for whatever reason, the way that it's fried. It holds together. It's a very, it's a fucking weird thing. I am of the mind of those tacos that I'm like, like with McDonald's French fries or something where I'm like, you got to eat it kind of quick. But then my old roommate, Justin, he would like, he would just like put them in the fridge

and eat them in that state. He didn't care. That's amazing. Which I was like, that's, I thought that was disgusting. I feel like you got to eat those things within like 15 to 20 minutes of getting them. Yeah. Yeah. I've definitely eaten a lot of jack in the box tacos in my parked car.

Yeah. I had actually, once I'm remembering this now, a different Justin, but our buddy Justin Donaldson, he used to have a house that, you know, we'd, people would doing sketch UCB stuff would meet out a lot. And I once was there, I was there to meet, to work on something and I was like parked in front of his house and I was just eating jack in the box in my car. And our friend Tim Saccardo like saw me eating in my car and then like later on asked me if everything was okay.

That sounds like. It was like the most pathetic image of this man and it was like dark, it was like late at night too. It was like 10 o'clock eating by myself in a parked car. That sounds like a question Tim would ask. How do you know him? We know, I know Tim, we're via the upright citizens brigade. Oh, gotcha.

Yeah. Tim has a very, very good career out for community, right for a vice principles, very funny show. We all wasted our 20s together writing sketch comedy. Right. Yeah. Some people succeeded, others made bad podcasts. This is success. It's a different kind of success.

This is success. I saw Manchester by the sea, quick segue here. People love that. People love it a lot. I liked it. It's not my favorite of the year, but it's pretty good. But a thing that was funny to me is that it's like this most depressed man on earth and like he goes like this most depressed man on earth moves to Quincy.

The most depressed man goes to Quincy. I was like, oh, God damn it, it's not fucking fair that the saddest man on earth lives in a basement in Quincy. So fuck them for doing that. Yeah, but how much money did you get for your life rates? The weirdest thing about that is that they're doing, they're portraying my future. Right. Where I'm going to move back and live in a basement, it hasn't happened to me yet.

One more thing in the tacos real quick. I'll just relay this anecdote super fast. So I used to go, I had orchestra in high school and this is weirdly, I was in orchestra with my current wife, but we didn't know each other and we weren't friends. We didn't start dating until after... She probably made fun of you behind your back. She probably did. Yeah, but we didn't know each other and like we knew of each other, but weren't actually

friends in high school and then started dating after college. I don't know why I said current wife too. That was weird. But what a weird adjective to throw in there. I didn't even notice. You should have just said wife, not current wife. Yeah, no, that's a terrible thing to say. I'm sorry.

Natalie, I apologize for referring to you. No, I think it's appropriate. Even if it's appropriate. It's definitely terrible. Yeah. I'm just saying that it's, current wife makes sense. It's technically accurate. She's somebody who will not be your wife.

But I would go like, but anyway, so we have orchestra practice for school, for high school. It was Wednesday night. We had like a special practice and then afterwards my dad would always take me to Jack in the box to get food. That was just like my Wednesday night meal. And so my meal started off as I believe four tacos because Jack in the box sells two tacos for 99 cents. It's a great value, very filling.

So it started as four tacos and I was still a little hungry. So the next week I got six tacos, still a little hungry, got eight tacos, and then finally landed on 10 tacos. And so like Wednesday nights after orchestra practice, I was having a 10 taco meal for a while and then I scaled back to eight tacos eventually. I can see why Natalie fell in love with it. I also have a taco story because when I was growing up, my brother went to some band show or something and he got as like a promotional item, a card that you showed them and they

give you free tacos with or without a purchase. So we would go, we'd just like trade it, pass it around. We'd like, I'd give it to my friends, they'd go get tacos, they'd give it back, I'd go get tacos. You could just go, you know, we'd go to lunch, get free tacos, leave, come back. Like you could do it over and over and over and they just, no one cared. That's insane. No, it's insane because it's so much money and we can't have been the one person someone

decided to let in on free tacos. Like they must have been doing this, I don't know, across the nation, but like how many free tacos must they given away that, you know, we would have paid for, absolutely. But that's, that's what sunk me on them. Like I just, I didn't like them for a long time, but at a point I was like, I can't not have these. Well, I also feel like that goes to show how much those tacos probably cost that place. It's, I bet you that the, how much do you think it costs them to make those tacos?

30 cents maybe? If they charge 50 cents. I was going to say 40, but 30, it wouldn't be surprised. It's like 20, like 20 cents per unit. I mean, markup is pretty big for like these items. I think they don't want us to know how much they cost. Sometimes those value menu items though are kind of lost leaders because they're trying to get you to buy drinks.

I still think they're making a healthy profit. I would actually, I would probably not be surprised if I found out those tacos cost like five cents a piece. They're just, they're like the shoddiest food item. They're so good. Right, the worst is this, the American cheese, not beef apparently. And not good American cheese, like very like gooey processed, like cheese food. And not a ton of, all the items in this, there's not a lot of items in it.

Like they don't, it's not like they like stuff it, it's, yeah, yeah, it's a, it's a very modest amount of meat and cheese. It's like a teaspoon of ingredients inside a shell. Oh, it's great though. And we love them. It's great. They're fantastic. I have so many notes.

Yeah, let's get into it more. I almost, I almost got a munchies meal last night. I love that they advertise to stoners. It's really, I think that's great too. It's just like, who cares? Like they don't care. It's great. Their shady business practices are kind of a wonder to behold.

They have to be though. And their, their commercials about that are just their seat, you're seeing stone guys sitting on couches. And it's like the mascot, the big headed clown who wears a suit is kind of like chit, like making fun of them. Yeah. Making fun of them and stone. Yeah.

It's so weird. And if you understand, they have to be like that. You don't get past an E. coli scare and have any, you know, you can't make any pretend like you can't pretend that you're good. Right. You had an E. coli scare. I almost just, I almost just fell out of my chair. That would have been.

I almost just fell out of my chair. I almost just fell out of my chair. That would have been. Remember when you fell into the partition? Were you trying to move yourself up the wall? What were you doing? Here's the thing. You're trying to readjust in the chair.

I'm awkwardly positioned because of the way my mic is, and I don't want to move it at this point because we've been recording, but no, move it. No. I'm just here. Hold on. I'm just trying to. You don't have to look at her eyes when you talk to her. But it's weird to have a conversation without any eye contact.

So I'm kind of awkwardly where I kind of have to like lean against the wall just to make eye contact with Spencer and then sort of turn on naturally. Never make eye contact. When you talk to people in real life, you look down at them. In real life, I don't, but I know this is a presentation where, and I think it helps it. Again, you know, it's like with the gesticulations that I'm doing now, it helps me be more engaged and listen more actively if I'm maintaining eye contact with people.

All right, fair enough. I'm going to force myself to do it. It works. I mean, I would not peg you as someone who doesn't make eye contact. I'm very uncomfortable with how much you're looking at me. I'll tone it down. Go back behind that partition. We don't need to see you anymore.

You didn't find a happy medium. What munchie meal did you get? I was going to talk about Jack in the Box. I did not get the munchie meal, but here's my deal with the munchie meal. I think it's great. Yeah. It gives you a lot of variety. They have funny, they have funny stoner sandwiches.

They're so good. They are great. They have like a grilled cheese, where there's two grilled cheeses over a burger or like a grilled cheeseburger. They have a burger with fries on it. They have the curly fries through Ratchaburger. It's amazing. It's like a burger because, you know, you want to eat a burger and have the fries at

the same time. They did it for you. It's like, they're so great. It's high people stuff. The spicy nacho chicken sandwich. That's the one I got. It's got onion rings. Okay.

I'll let you talk about it. What else? The bacon? No, that was something else. The chicken tater melt. Yeah. It's a chicken sandwich with a fucking hash brown on it. It's insane.

Right. That's, you can't, I mean, Taco Bell and Carl's Jr. experiment, but they don't do that. You know? It's amazing. That's a Jack in the Box stoner thing. You're doing a great job. You're getting me excited about this, even though I went there last night. Yeah.

Well, I'm not funny, but I love food, so that's what I'm doubling down on. I have all your notes. It's great. I got, yeah. I think you got a great combo of both. I think you should take over this podcast. Yeah, you do a better version of it. I think so too.

I was telling Dustin, I was like, you got to do the after Joe with Doe with Spencer. It's the wrap-up show talking about where Joe went wrong in the after show. Joe Saunders may have some opinions about that. I recorded four episodes, but Dustin, I don't think he told you guys. It's in the vault, the old Feral Vault. With Super Basketball Brothers. Yeah, Super Basketball Brothers is deep in that vault. Your podcast with Armin, where you discussed the NBA.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a big failure that I wanted to be released someday. Maybe we will. But I didn't, I just want to say, I didn't get the munchy meal. I wanted to. My issue with the munchy meal is it does a lot of stuff, but I feel like it's too much of a big mix, and an issue I have with Jack in the Box, I'll get into it later, and it's part of the reason why I didn't get the munchy meal.

But needless to say, I got the sourdough jack, which is one of the biggest sandwiches there, I would say. Yeah, it's a classic. It's a classic. And it was really good. It was a really great sandwich. I got myself some medium curly fries, and they have a Coke freestyle machine, which I appreciate, and they take any drink order you ask.

So I got myself a Diet Cherry Coke, which I feel like should just kind of be standard at most places anyway. Right. So I got a question about these freestyle machines. They have all the flavors. There's these little bottles or whatever of juice, you know, and then they mix them up how you want. But the cherry is cherry.

It's cherry across all flavors. So if you put cherry in Diet Coke, are you putting calories into a non-caloric drink? Great question. Or is it a Diet Cherry that they know to put in the diet? Because I would believe it's probably not. It's probably like normal sugar. And so I've never, I don't like, I hate the taste of diet, so I've never tried it. I've never wanted to experiment.

But I mean, I don't know. Sounds like another mystery for Robert Langdon to solve. This guy's, we're going to be the main employer of Robert Langdon. Very busy. There's nothing going on over there. There's nothing going on over in Italy now. You can come over here and help us out. We have some fast food mysteries.

I wonder that too. Now I'm like, shit, because I always, because there's cherry Coke Zero, and there is Diet Cherry Coke. And those are zero calories if you look at the can or whatever. But you're right. You can do weird shit like have like vanilla lemonade if you want, you can like fuck around. Because you go to the non-calorie drinks and that's still an option. Either they have some sort of diet cherry option or it is that sort of thing where you're

fucking yourself over and they're being kind of creative and they're not letting you know. And who do we ask? I don't know. I don't know. It's just a robot. Like it's a machine. No one knows how it works. There's probably an FAQ on the Coke Freestyle website.

We're going to go to Atlanta. The Vatican of America. I also got myself a Pepper Jack Ranchi Spicy Chicken Sandwich. Oh, I got that too. Which is, like when I was talking about special sandwiches earlier, I wanted to try to just see how it was. Should I get into it? Yeah, go for it.

The sourdough jack is great. I love it. It's such a funny sandwich. There's tomato on it and that's like the main veggie on it, right? Yeah. There's tomato. Is there onion? A little bit of onion on there?

Maybe. Yeah, there's ketchup, mayo, tomato and it's like on sourdough bread with cheese, a burger with cheese. I think it's got two kinds of cheese, right? It's got like a jack and a cheddar. Yes, right. A white and a yellow. Yeah.

A white and a yellow more accurate. Yeah, they're probably not real cheeses. And that's a great burger. And I think that's one of their star burgers. Yeah. It's great. It's a great, great burger. I liked it a lot.

The pepper jack spicy chicken sandwich was good. I was a little let down by it. Yeah. Yeah, it just wasn't like I feel like Wendy's or something would have nailed something like that and Jack just didn't do a great job with it. The curly fries were good, but here is my issue and here is an issue I have with Jack in the box as a whole is the food is a little bit cold. And with the munchie meal, that happens too.

My biggest complaint about Jack in the box is it's the fast food restaurant I go to that I will get cold food from the most. And that to me, it's very, it's frustrating. I've encountered that too. And it is like one of the, you know, again, they have uneven customer service. I've definitely had some incidents at Jack in the box where employees were like outright rude or just like ignore, like just got things wrong. It seems like a part of their like, we don't give a shit attitude.

Right. It extends to the kind of that some of the people that they hire is to work at their, their, their restaurants. Yeah. Yeah. I've had some great service at some of these too, but it's just uneven. They're inconsistent. They're one of the most inconsistent kind of fast food chains that I know of, but they're,

I personally have never had this cold food problem. I have a lot of problems with food I get from Jack in the box, but never temperature. Yeah. No, I, I, I, a lot of the times I will, because I, because I used to go to the Jack in the box right down the street from me on a, on Wilshire. I lived on the Miracle Mile there and oh, and that's a good one. That's a good one. And, and, and, and it didn't, it didn't happen as, as, and like since then when I, when I've

gone to Jack in the box, especially like the curly fries, I'll get cold curly fries and I love those curly fries. I want them to be hot. They're good. So that's, that's frustrating. I don't want, I don't want fridge food. You know what I mean? I want cold food.

And I'll give them, I'll give them a little bit of credit because it was the Christmas parade in Los Angeles last night and the, the Jack, that it was the Jack in the box on sunset and the, the street was, it is a bad one and it was literally blocked off because of the Christmas parade. So I had to like maneuver the parade had ended, but I had to maneuver into it, like through side streets. How long did that take? That must have been years.

It was actually, it wasn't too bad. I, I, I, I worked it out. It was this after Manchester by the sea. So it was like closing down, but the street was still closed off and I went around the block and I got in there, but I think that they just had no one was going, you know what I mean? Like I don't think there were any customers at all. So I'll say that, but I have to, I have to note it that it's a thing that's happened

multiple times. That's fucked up. Yeah. And the food is good, but it's, it's always that sort of thing of like, oh, like if you get the grilled cheeseburger, it's like, I wish this was a little, like a little bit more put together. I wish this was a little bit better. And that's my thing with, with Jack, but go ahead, Nick.

Oh, I, what I was going to say, just real quick on the, in terms of, in terms of the quality of ingredients, to one point in the sourdough jack, Naly has pointed this out and I think she's right that at one point they switched from the, cause she doesn't get the sourdough jack yet anymore, even though she used to love it. At one point they had more of a sourdough bread as the bun and now they've switched to a bun that's kind of sourdough bread shaped. Yes. Like it's not sour.

It's not sour anymore. It's like kind of a spongy, it's, it's got that spongy bun texture, but it just looks like grilled sourdough and that's kind of like just changed the, I mean, everything else is the same, but it's kind of changed the, the concept of the sandwich a little bit. I never think that sourdough is sour though, but that's like, I never pick up on the sourness of sourdough. I think in addition to that, it's like also the texture is like, it's not, the texture is a little off.

The texture is for sure off, too spongy and spongy. It's good bread though, like it tastes, I don't know, that's, they have a lot of ingredients that taste like real food and that's like, it doesn't, like it's, it's obviously the same kind of bun, but it just seems like bread instead of like, they have the breakfast sandwiches with, with sourdough too. And it just, it's more wholesome than having like a bun sandwich somehow. I will say, when I've had, when I tried to eat, when I was trying to eat more low carb in general, but still frequent fast food places, which just is not, it's, it's like edging.

It's like, it's a bad thing to do because you just are so close to sliding back and just to eating like shit all the time. But like I'd go to Jack in the box and I'd get rid of the bun and I just have that ultimate cheeseburger with no bun. That meat is so bad, like it's like the most artificial ground beef, it's so poorly seasoned and so gray. We're with Wendy's, if you did the bunless burger, it's, it's very good. I have that, I have that quite, quite often, yeah, but the patty itself is like not good.

And if you don't have all those condiments and all that, that thick bun disguising it, it's just like, you can really tell that it's like a meat, a near meat. I will, I have read that out of all the fast food chains, Jack in the box has the lowest quality beef and Wendy's has the highest quality beef. So that makes perfect sense. But I will say that I was talking to John Roy and he was saying, you got to do a place you love and I told him I was doing Jack in the box and he was talking about the jumbo jack and I've never had it.

So jumbo jack's great. I tried it, it's very good and I noticed that the quality of the meat was a lot better than I expected. And with the onions in it and with the onions, it tasted like real beef. Like, you know, if you make a burger and it has onions and the patty and stuff and it just has this very wholesome taste to it. And I noticed that and I was like, that's not Jack in the box, Jack in the box has garbage beef.

Yeah. So I was really impressed. They used to, for a while, they were doing this thing where they seasoned the meat as they cooked and it was this big marketing thing. I was like, we're seasoning the meat as they cooked and it, it worked because you could taste the salt and the pepper on the beef and that's not something that happens in fast food. You don't get seasoning.

You get just the shit. But when you make a burger at home, you put salt and pepper on it, of course you do and it tastes great. And as it happens, it really worked and made their meat taste a lot better, but then they stopped and it doesn't taste like that anymore. Right. It's weird stuff. It just like, it took them just enough time, extra preparation time where it like lowered

their profit margins enough where they're just like, ah, it's not worth it. Yeah. That is so funny to me that, and I agree with you guys, but we give so much credit to Jack in the box. They're trying. They're trying to do good stuff. Yeah, yeah. They're not pretending.

They're not. We don't know what's going on and we dig it. We approve. What else did you get with your meal along with the Jumbo Jack Spencer? Oh, I got so many things, you know, we were originally going to record earlier, so I went and then I went like several more times because I wanted to get, I wanted to get a good, good taste. You know, they have this brunch fist menu that's going on right now.

Yeah. The bacon egg and chicken sandwich, it's, it's on an English muffin, it's got bacon and egg, it's got the chicken patty and it's got bacon mayo, they called it. Very good. It tastes like a breakfast sandwich that also has fried chicken on it. It's amazing. I loved it. Nothing wrong with that.

No, and I like, I like the eggs at Jack in the Box because again, they taste, they taste like real eggs, which will, real unseasoned eggs, which are kind of plain, but they don't feel like you're being fed processed stuff, even though I'm sure you are. But so the chicken, the chicken sandwich was really good. The Southwest scrambler is something I wanted to try because it's essentially like just a breakfast platter. They had scrambled eggs, home fries, which like potatoes with the bell peppers and onions and stuff.

They had, what else? That came with a side of bacon or sausage and that was good, but it tasted, it's, that was the realest food I've ever had from Jack in the Box. It's like, I, this could have come out of my pan. It's just eggs, it's just potatoes that were just cooked on the, the fry top, you know, some vegetables and then bacon, you know, microwave bacon, like you could buy at Costco. They seem pretty proud of their breakfast over there too. It's, I wish, like, or at least maybe it's just as, yeah, this brunch, brunch fist thing

that they're doing, but, but they seem, they seem to be one of the chains that is proud of their, of their breakfast offerings. And I believe they serve their full breakfast menu 24 hours. They're one of the first places that did that. Yeah. And that's what I like the most about them. When I started going there, I got a lot of the breakfast stuff because it's pretty solid and they have weird burgers and stuff.

So you're, I mean, you're always going to Jack in the Box for the fringe stuff. So the, the breakfast, like the extreme sausage sandwich. Yeah, that one's not bad. It's got two patties of sausage and two eggs. Like that's, that's not something you get in normal breakfast sandwich. It's amazing. I used to get that all the time. It'll make you shit.

All their breakfast stuff will make you shit. All the Jack in the Box stuff will make you shit. Jack in the Box, it's a, we had a hashtag at this one. Quickest tattoo. Jack in the Box definitely gets a quickest tattoo award. It's one of those things that you can feel move through your body. Yes. Yes.

Especially the breakfast burger. If you're constipated or something, I think you should, you should, you should go to Jack in the Box and you'll be, and you'll be good to go. It moves. You can feel it moving through, just, just like, yeah, it's, it's guaranteed, I feel like with like, like the Egg McMuffin from, from McDonald's, I've said before, like any of their breakfast, you can feel that just kind of seeping through your body. Yeah.

Jack's is, is similar in a lot of ways, yeah. If you fed a, it was a Mowgi, Mogwai? Mogwai. If you fed a Mogwai a Jack in the Box meal, it would turn into a gremlin and then take a giant shit. A giant green shit. Yeah. It would shit out like a Yoshi.

It might, it might not even turn into a gremlin because it would move, the food would move so fast through your body. It's body would, it would reject it. It would shit before it finished transforming. So I also got that sandwich you did, the spicy chicken sandwich. Have you ever had the spicy, no, what was it, the Chipotle chicken ciabatta from Jack in the Box? I have.

The best sandwich, why did they stop making that? That sandwich was way better than, than this, the one that I got last night. Exactly. That's, that's what was upsetting about it. It was like, I know you know how to make a chicken sandwich. That's amazing. Just give me that. I don't, the ranch was not great.

The ranch was not great. I agree with that. The ranch was not great. Yeah. That was one of the big problems of the sandwich. The biggest. There was, there was bacon on it, but I kind of lost the bacon honestly. Yeah.

The bacon you could take or leave. It's like, it doesn't help really, but I mean, I'm not going to kick it out. I love ranch, but I don't think I need it on a sandwich. No, never on a sandwich. It never works quite right. I don't like ranch, but never on a sandwich. I do like ranch sometimes on a sandwich. I feel like, I feel like it's that sort of, like it feels like a thing that they do as

a cure all. Like every place is like, it's got ranch on it. It's like, that doesn't mean anything, like a, like a, sure, put ranch on it, but it's still going to be a good sandwich. And that's the sort of thing of like, the Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich is my all-time favorite sandwich. Oh, it's amazing. Fast food sandwich.

Me too. No ranch on that. It's just a great, great lob of mayo on there. Sometimes too much. And it's a lot of mayo. It is a lot of mayo. Sometimes it's too much, but, but if it's the, if it's the, if it's the right balance of mayo, it's, it's, it's great.

It's perfect. And that, and that shows that just because it's a spicy chicken, it doesn't mean that you have to have blue cheese or ranch on it, which I think a lot of people think if it's a spicy chicken, you need to have the classic buffalo cooling sauce. You know, like the ranch or blue cheese. So mayo kind of serves that same purpose though. Like it kind of has the same effect, even though it's non-dairy. Yeah.

Certainly. Yeah. But I'm saying you don't, but I, I, I enjoy that more. You don't need to put that stuff on. Right. I agree with you. I think that's a good point. Um, do you have, do you have more items you were getting through Spencer?

I don't know. Uh, I got, this list is so long. I think every guest who comes on this show from here on out has to get as many, as many items from the restaurant as Spencer. Yeah. Okay. So I got the buttery jack a week ago. It was bad.

Don't get the buttery jack. But also that's like, you don't come, that's exactly the kind of thing you don't come to jack in the box for. Yes. You don't come for a hallmark, like a marquee burger. That's insane. I've had the buttery jack before and it does, it just feels like, it's like, oh, it feels like you did put like butter on this burger.

It was, it's like a, it's a little too, it's, it's too, you don't want to, you don't want a melted butter on your jack in the box burger. Yeah. Not a jack in the box. I will say I had the, I had a buttery burger at Steak and Shake, the one we went to in Victorville with Evan Susser and it was great. Yeah. That was fucking delicious.

I've had one, I've had from the Steak and Shake and it's really good. My friend Dino actually made me a burger that he fried up in butter and it was the best burger I've ever had in my life. Wow, that's awesome. Oh, so good. Dino, you can really cook. But uh. Dino Stamatopoulos?

Yeah, yeah. He's super funny guy. Oh man. I didn't know he was a cook too. Oh no, he's a huge foodie. He loves it. He loves, I was at his house for Thanksgiving and he was just, he was the guy, he had like a little helper but he was just running around frantically cooking, I think four birds simultaneous.

Wow. It was insane. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh no, he's amazing. He's, it's, it's an awesome side and it's something he's really passionate about. I love food. It's great talking to him about food. It's awesome.

Oh man. He can fucking cook. We should ask him and get rejected by him to be on the podcast. He's, he's, he's a great guy. He's a famous asshole but he's actually a great guy. Well, I think he's a famous asshole. The egg rolls, have you guys got the egg rolls? I've had the egg rolls.

So good. I've had the egg rolls. I put the egg rolls above most other like Chinese food egg rolls that I've had. For a place that I say like a consistency as far as the like what you get, I feel like the egg rolls are usually pretty consistent and it must be a thing where they, they just cook them to order. Yeah, fried items. Fried items are pretty consistent.

I think that's it. Cause you know, like the, the tacos and then the, the egg rolls, the jalapeno poppers, which are my go-to side, they used to, they had chicken strips for a time. They don't have those anymore. They had taquitos for a time. But yeah, everything that goes in that deep fryer is, it comes out pretty, pretty good there. They got the mini churros.

Have you had those? I haven't had the mini churros. They're really good. They have, they're both, they're like churros and they have the, the sugar, cinnamon sugar on the outside. They're very crispy and fried. They're great. Also on the inside, they have that cinnamon kind of filling that some churros have.

But a lot of times when a churro doesn't have that, it can get very dry. But with it, the, it really, you know, makes the whole thing sing. Right. It's a really, a really good dessert item. Sometimes I'll just go and I'll say I'll get a taco or I'll get some tacos and some mini churros and I'll call it a day. Also the milkshakes are, I'd say the milkshakes half the time are better than in and out milkshakes. Yeah.

They're pretty good fast food milkshakes. I actually got a milkshake on my last visit. I gotta say, yeah. Carl's Jr. and Jack in the Box, they do a good milkshake, surprisingly. Right. They, they made a big deal about Jack in the Box about using real ice cream when they- I like those Carl's. Both of them do that.

They both do that, yeah. All right. But the, the Jack in the Box one I got- Which seems like the most basic thing. It's like, we use real ice cream. It's like, good. What, what were you going to use? I think they did.

Like the other chains were like, yes, so do we. What the fuck are you talking about? How else are you going to make a shake? So you weren't using real ice cream up to this point? We use real lettuce. The one I got was the Golden Oreo Salted Caramel Shake. Now, I'm a man who says that Golden Oreos are better than original Oreos. Agreed.

I feel like they have topped, they have topped original Oreos. Yeah. And the Golden Oreos Salted Caramel Shake was great. Here's the thing, too thick for straw consumption, no spoon was I given. Oh yeah. Ooh. So it was a little, it was a little complicated to drink. You take the top out of that sucker.

Right. I just have to pop the top. Oh, but that's, that's the best part. It's like, you're having so much delicious shake that you're like, I can no longer rely on the straw. I'm taking matters into my own hands. And then you chug a whole large shake. It's the best.

I fucking love it. And then you have a taco. It's so good. I love jack-in-the-box. Yeah. It's so good. But yeah. No, they're too thick.

But that's, that's a good problem to have. Yeah. Michael, did you go up to Launa Ghost and say, excuse me, no spoon was I given? Excuse me, sir? You know, speaking of, so there's two jack-in-the-boxes in Santa Monica. We went to the one on Wilshire, which is not as, not as consistent as the one on Santa Monica Boulevard. Ooh, right by Sonny McClain's, my old stopping ground.

Yeah, right by your own haunt. Yeah, my old haunt. You used to go to Sonny McClain's when I lived right by Sonny McClain's and we didn't know each other. That's right. And I, you could have walked by me sleeping in my Ultima. That's why I would just shudder sometimes, seriously. But no, the one on Wilshire is like a little bit more suspect.

They also filmed the Curb Your Enthusiasm where he goes to jack-in-the-box, was filmed at the one on Wilshire, the jack-in-the-box there. Hey, pretty interesting. Yeah. Nice little factoid. But that's the one where I've had some inconsistent customer service and I've had some ornery employees. And this was one where the guy was like, I ordered one of the munchie meals and then I asked for a shake and I said, like, oh, can I get the shake as my drink?

And there was like a heavy sigh, like, I'll change it. It was like a big deal for him. And then when we got there, yeah, yeah, you will change it. And then when we got up to the window, he gave us just one bag and then was like kind of like mean to now it was kind of like anything else. And we're like, well, yeah, we still have another thing coming. He's like, oh, yeah, right. And like got our other bag.

It was so weird. I love the Weiger version of Curb Your Enthusiasm. No spoon was I given. And then it's the next scene and you're quietly staring at someone as you eat your shake. The other incident I had that Jack in the Box before, I went years ago after I saw Star Wars Episode II in theaters with my buddy Corey from college. And we went to that Jack in the Box and we were like, you know, it was like when the window, the speaker is unoccupied and you're like, hello, is anyone there?

And like we said that and there was no response and I waited a little bit more and then I said, I just said very nicely again, I was like, hello. And this guy snaps back and says, just a second, like really mad, like, and like, oh, geez. And then Corey, he was probably pissed. He wasn't at watching Episode II. Well, yeah, in response, Corey decided that he was going to just start loudly saying Episode II spoilers. And so he was just, but like he was like, he would say like some real ones, but pepper

in with some fake ones, which probably made this guy like quite, if he was later watching the movie, was like questioning what was disinformation and what was real. So he'd be like, oh, it can count Dooku cuts off Anakin's hand. And then Yoda dies. It's like a weird, funny bit, but then we like, like, we took, we, you know, we went up there and we got our food or whatever. And we took it. I was like, this was definitely tampered with, right?

I think this guy probably was mad at us for being assholes. Yeah, I'm sure he was. Yeah. But also too, like that's not, I've been to another Jack in the Box where I went up to the speaker and like the guy was just like, hey, we're closed. Like I just went home. There can be, there can be weird people that work there. They're the bottom tier of like, you don't want a job at Jack in the Box, you want a

job at Burger King. There's some great employees there. I've had some great customer service experiences. It's just inconsistent. Nick Carter famously, not from WBCN in Boston, spoiled the episode one and said Qui-Gon Jinn died. Oh, wow. And I was listening to the radio.

He spoiled that Qui-Gon Jinn died. And I heard it and I was so fucking mad. Nick Carter from WBCN in Boston and I stopped listening to the radio station at that point. He fucking ruined it. And then when I went and saw the movie, he does indeed die, Qui-Gon Jinn. And I was, I was very, very upset about it. Let me tell you this, Mitch. That spoiler is on the back of the soundtrack CD that was out two weeks before the movie's

release. Oh fuck. And it's, and like the last track is before the, the end credits is Qui-Gon's Noble End. And it's just like, before we had like this internet spoiler culture, things like that would just be out there in the world. And there wasn't like this, if there was this outrage, it wasn't like this gigantic social media outrage. Let me tell you.

Things were just getting spoiled left and right. John Williams, the original troll. So the golden Oreo salted caramel shake, it's got like little bits of golden, of golden Oreo crumbled on top of it. And then it's got like a, yeah, it's great. And it's got like a pretty aggressive salted caramel flavor and I thought it was really, really delicious. I got the, my go-to side, which is the stuffed jalapenos, the jalapeno poppers and, you know,

they're, they're nice and hot out of the fryer. They come with their house buttermilk ranch dipping sauce, which my buddy Reed Wasser turned me on to back in seventh grade. I'll get that, I asked for that in the side with the, with fries. It's a really good ranch sauce they've got there. And the episode where you've named your most friends, I know you're a pretty friendless man. Most of my childhood memories are connected to jack-in-the-box experiences.

I know how that is. But yeah, we like, like they have a really good ranch sauce there and that those jalapeno poppers are great. They've got a little bit of spiciness to them. The two tacos I mentioned, I had a free tacos coupon from the Lakers game I went to with by buddy DP, David Phillips, our good friend from the Hillstone episode. And then the, we've discussed the tacos at length. I'll discuss the munchie meal real quick.

So Spencer alluded to this, the spicy crispy chicken sandwich, which is topped with onion rings. It's called the spicy nacho chicken sandwich, rather. It's a crispy chicken, onion rings, jalapenos, and nacho cheese sauce on the toasted sour dough bun. The munchie meal also comes with two regular tacos, so I had an abundance of tacos and half sea fries, which is half regular fries, half those seasoned curly fries. Fries were great.

Actually, the fries were a little, were a little cold. That was like, you know, they were good, but they were a little cold. That's my thing. Yeah. The sandwich was very gooey, like it was just a fucking sloppy mess, which I guess is the goal of it, but it was just falling apart. And but the chicken itself was good and crispy, like nice and hot, great, great crispness, great, great texture to it.

The onion rings on it was good. A lot of jalapenos was actually legitimately spicy, like was making my mouth burn, was making my lips burn. I give some bites of Natalie, who has a very high tolerance for heat, and she said it was legitimately spicy. So, you know, they're delivering on the jalapeno aspect. Yeah, I thought it was really good. And for $6, you get that sandwich, you get two tacos, and you get a shitload of fries

and like a big old personal pizza-sized box. It's like a substantial amount of food. I think it's a pretty good value. Oh, yeah. That's the thing, if you pick and choose or you get a couple items, like you really come out on top. Right. Value-wise.

It's great. I think I have two things that I haven't talked about yet. Go for it. I tried the chicken pita. Do you know they have a chicken pita? I used to get the fajita pita as a kid, yeah. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's what you'd expect. I don't know what to say about it.

If you're the kind of person who wants to get a chicken pita at a fast food place, it's exactly what you need from them. The menu makes no sense. No. It doesn't make any sense why they have that, and also a teriyaki bowl. It's so good. I've had worse teriyaki bowls from, you know, in California, there's a lot of these places that are like, we got burritos, we got teriyaki bowls, we got burgers, and it's all terrible.

Like any place that I've gone that's had a teriyaki bowl, it's been worse than a jack-in-the-box teriyaki bowl. And sometimes I'm like, I need a teriyaki bowl, I need to go to Jack-in-the-box and get a teriyaki bowl and some tacos. It's exactly for stoners because no one normal has cravings like that. And also, with the brunch-fest menu, they had this blood orange cooler, which was very good. I thought it tasted very much like an Italian soda kind of deal.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah, at first I was like, this isn't very sweet, but then as I got into it, it was very sweet and it tasted not super syrupy, and you guys know what blood orange is like? I grew up next to a blood orange tree. Did you really? Yeah, my next door neighbors were like the Joneses, and they had all this nice stuff. They had a blood orange tree and really good flavor, but it's a very unique, hard-to-nail flavor that often seems artificial, but I think they did a good job.

I'd check that out. There's like a Pellegrino or like the soda, I don't know if it's a Pellegrino, but like the limon one. Yeah, yes, they do a blood orange version. That's great. I love it. Yeah. And that's what it's like.

Spencer, you've done the best job of any guest ever. Very comprehensive. And either of us. Yeah, then we've ever done, you did a great job. Again, I knew I couldn't rely on my wit, so I was going to have to be prepared going into this thing. That's untrue. It was my only option.

You deserve this podcast. No, I do. I'm angling for the new Susser position. I've got all sorts of bits. The next Rocktober is going to be something special if you let me in. Hey, let us tell you, you don't got to angle for that. It's yours. Susser's out.

Oh, man, this is my dream. I know this is a joke, but I'm honestly so excited that even those words are being said. I don't want to give any spoilers. I don't even know how this will work out. But you said something very interesting about the best thing from each place. And it's something that we've talked about before. And it might be something we visit down the line, but the best item from each place. Oh, you've got to do that.

I used to do that all the time. We'd go like we get curly fries, and then we'd go and get like a baked potato from Wendy's and stuff. That sounds awesome. It's just something to think about. No, it's a great idea that you have to execute. Well, knowing us, either we one won't do it or two, we'll do a bad job with it, six months from now.

Yeah, it's so simple now, but soon there's going to be bureaucrats and hierarchies. Susser wearing a referee shirt that's way too tight on him and carrying a gun. Speaking of Susser, he can't eat Jack in the box. He's had too many digestive issues with it. Oh, wow. He was telling us, yeah, every time he doesn't get it anymore, because every time it backs fires. That's probably that grease.

A gross little capper to the... The idea that even Evan Susser can't eat Jack in the box, like that's even him. It's like too much. That's where Evan Susser draws the line, knowing that man's diet. Evan Susser looks like a menu item at Jack in the box. All right, let's get to our final thoughts on Jack in the box. I spent you another podcast, you know how this will work, so give your closing argument and a rating on the order of one to five forks.

We will start with you. Okay, so Jack in the box, you got to know what you're getting into. If you're coming in trying to think it's like a fast food place, you're an idiot. You're doing it wrong, and you won't be having fun. If you're coming to Jack in the box, it's because you have some weird taste that need to be gotten. I never go there to get a meal. I go there because I want an egg roll, and I want tacos, and I want a milkshake, and

it has all of those things, and I like all of them. It's a really great place. It has amazing breakfast all day. You can always get eggs that taste like eggs and sausage that taste like sausage. Their hash browns aren't great, but again, you got to know what you're getting into. I hate their beef. I don't particularly like their chicken unless it's spicy chicken. I don't like avoid the chicken nuggets.

You know what you're getting with Jack in the Box, which is weird random garbage that is trying to say and tell you that it's weird random garbage, and you should like it that it's weird random garbage. I think it's a utility player. It does what it does better than anyone else. This is philosophically, obviously it's too late. When I think about the star rating system, when I think of a 2.5, a 2.5 is a 2 that can perform on a four-star level on certain dishes, and I think that's exactly what Jack in the

Box is. If you are just trying it as a restaurant, it's not that great. If you get the things that they're known for, it's amazing and you'll never be upset. Well, you'll be upset because it's actually a pretty inconsistent place. I want to give it 2.5 stars, but I know it's important to you guys to introduce complicated random bullshit into your system. That's what we're all about. Also, to correct you, it's forks, not stars.

Oh, yes. Yes. I was thinking of the crawls in your episode. What is this? I was confused by stars. So, yeah, no, five spoons, but no, okay, so let me give it a spin. Let's put some weirdness on it. I would say it's a 2.5, but my online name is The Sixler.

I'm going to give it the Sixler spin and rate it out of six stars. So out of six stars, and these are stars because it's the Sixler spin, but out of six stars, I definitely say it's a 3.5. So now applying that to the fork rating, it's a 3.5 out of five. Damn. Great. So you're not reducing the fraction. No, I'm saying that the Sixler spin is rating it on a curve, which is a six-star scale and

then applying that number to the five-point scale. So it's like 3.5. 3.5 stars. I'm going to give it the Sixler spin myself. So out of six stars, oh, shit, I can't do this math in my head. I can't sum it up better than what Spencer just did. That was such a thorough review, a tour de force. That was a tour de force.

I think that Jack in the Box is fun, and it doesn't think it's anything better than it is, and it does some stuff really well, and it's a great late night fast food place where you stuff your face with all these different things because you've got a bunch of different cravings, and it's great. And we didn't get into that too much, but it's one of the great drunk after-bar type of spots that there is. I don't love Jack. I don't love Jack from Jack in the Box.

I don't like the clown doll, man. We didn't talk about the commercials too much, but he's mean, and the commercials are not like, I do like that they advertise towards stoners or whatever, that they do whatever they want to do, and they're just kind of like, this is what it is, and here it is, but I just don't know if there's something about Jack I don't like, or I don't trust. He's kind of like a sardonic attitude, and they've been trying very hard to be random for a long time. That's true.

The commercials are about how Jack's better than everyone else, and that's not an attractive thing to sell somebody. It's not like a thing of that Jack in the Box kind of is about either, which is funny. So besides saying, fuck you, Jack, the Sixer Spin, I'm going to give it, let's see here, hold on a second, out of six, I'm going to give it 2.75 stars, which for me, equals out for two, three and a half, fours. Wait, so you're 2.75, wait, is the same as his 2.5? It's the same, it's the same Sixer Spin score.

I don't think it is, but I'll let it pass. Yeah, we'll roll out. I like it anyway. I've said a lot about Jack in the Box. I have a lot of memories attached to it. I can't claim to be rational or unbiased here. This is very much, this is like asking me to, not on the same level, but I tied it to the Lakers.

It's like asking me to race the Los Angeles Lakers. I can't quite be fully accurate and objective because I have a personal attachment to it. I give the Lakers five, big piles of shit, a lot of how many out of 10, so not bad actually. Jack in the Box is a thing that I've thought about a lot, that I've eaten a lot. It sickenes me. When I eat it, I get sick a lot of the time. I feel bad. My body is rejecting it.

Are you down with that sickness? I guess I am down with this sickness because I can't do your free food. If you're down with the sickness, hashtag down with the sickness. I also know from its history that I'm risking death by eating there, but I still continue to do it because the food is just so weirdly delicious. It's gross, but it's my gross. We mentioned the marketing a little bit. We didn't touch on a lot, but one thing that sticks out in my mind from the history of

the marketing, besides the Outlaw Burger Jingle, which I said in English class as my poem allowed, was the Meaty Cheesy Boys music video. This was when they were unveiling the Ultimate Cheeseburger. I'm going to let the Meaty Cheesy Boys take us out as I go into my score. Here we go. Yeah. You know that there's one thing that I love, but it's not you I'm thinking of. I want the ultimate cheeseburger.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy. Cheesy.

Cheesy. Yellow Jack like ripping on the Meaty Cheesy Boys at the end. That was kind of his angle. But let me tell you what. Jack of the Box is what I want. Sixler spin out of six stars. Six stars. Oh, shit.

Five forks. Jesus Christ. All right. That was Jack of the Box. Can I also say that I like when we go long in episodes, but this is Wendy's. You'd be fidgeting in your chair and you wouldn't be able to handle this right now. This is too much. No, this is good.

This is what we do. No. But we're taking up too much of the studio's time. We started late. No. It wasn't our fault that we started late actually. They're even thumbs up. I don't know.

We're going like, I just feel like we need to be, we aim for a 90 minute episode like. There's a lot to talk about with this point. There's a lot to talk about. We have a lot of, in particular I have a lot of thoughts on it. Spencer has a lot of thoughts on it. You have a lot of thoughts on it. Spencer, Spencer made a good point too. Hashtag down with the sickness or hashtag disturbed if there's a place that you go to

that you know will make you sick, or you're going to eat it anyway. I got one that's also a quickest tattoo. You know that Nashville hot chicken at KFC is definitely my favorite way to get diarrhea. It's amazing. I still haven't had it. It's so good. It's so good. A lot of people love it.

There's bad KFCs like there's bad jack-in-the-boxes. So go to a good KFC and get it there and it's amazing. They shut down a Popeyes by my place, turn it into a Starbucks, then they shut down the KFC, turn that into a Starbucks. Jesus, you're probably wired over there on the West Side. It's a mess. We got enough coffee spots so all our fried chicken joints are drying up. That was Jack in the Box.

It's time for a regular segment. We've got a roundup of all our holiday eats with the Christmas season approaching. It's time for another edition of Season's Eatings. Hey, it makes sense again finally. We've come around, yeah. Yeah. Duster's cover of Mama's Seedah, Don't Day a Star, Santa Claus, the official theme song of Season's Eatings.

So Mitch, you've provided the Season's Eatings food for this episode. What do you have for us? Not me, per se, but listen, we're going to take a page out of Jack Skellington's book. Oh boy. And this is now a nightmare before Christmas. Alex was nice enough to send us a couple of bags of Cheetos from Japan, I believe. The note is long, but if you want to sum it up, Weigher, as I talk about here. Oh, you have me this thing that I haven't seen before?

I haven't seen it. You're asking me to summarize it on the fly? That's 100% correct. Okay, you can talk a little bit. So I got the Cheetos bag of bones here. The only thing I know about this, they're Cheetos. They look like bones, so they look like Cheetos, but they're all white. I will also say that this bag glows in the dark.

The other bag is Cheetos EX. I have no idea what it means. There's a package on it of another Frito Lay's brand that I just don't know. I truly don't know what it is, but they look like they're kind of very hot, like a Japanese hot sauce. So Cheetos EX. Weigher, did you figure anything out from that note from Alex? The note doesn't have a lot of context for the snack, but it gives a little bit of personal

history for Alex. He grew up in L.A., Newport Beach specifically, and then lived in Boston. So he's seen a little Spoon Man, a little burger boy. Well, thank you so much, Alex. We're excited to try these bad boys and get a little nightmare before Christmas. I'm opening up the Cheetos bag of bones, which were the ones that I found out last night. Glow in the dark. My lights were on, and I saw these guys.

They were glowing in the dark in my living room. I taught Spencer that other one. We can get started on both of these. Sure thing. Glowing foods appeal to you? Uh, no. I like that they went all out with the bag. I thought that was cool.

Okay. Taking a pic of the bag real quick. The bag that you said is on the bag of this Cheetos, it's like this Lay's bag you were talking about. It looks really bad ass, and I would buy anything that came in a package like this. These bag of bones, they're going to surprise you. When you eat these bag of bones, you will be surprised. Yeah, and you will be surprised.

They taste like fruit loops. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking of. It's like a sweet cereal, a little like a lemony. It's like lemon tricks. Yeah, more sour. Lemon tricks. Fruit loops would not make this much sour in a cereal. Right.

So sour. Oh my God. These are really strange. It's a strange sensation because it looks like a, well, it looks like a white Cheeto. It looks like a ghost Cheeto. My one issue with it is that it almost tastes like aspartane. Now, it tastes like fake sugary. Now those ones are very spicy.

They'll catch in your throat. Oh my God. Oh boy, I'm ready for it. I don't really like Flamin' Hot Cheetos. I would say these are, I don't know, do you like Flamin'? What would you say they are compared to Flamin' Hot? Those are about 10 times hotter than Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Yeah, okay, that sounds about right.

What is this packet of sauce? That's what I don't understand. It must be some, they're rings. They're some sort of ring-based Japanese snack food that must be really spicy. Oh my God. Like the ring? I don't know. It's the, like the movie, the ring, ringu?

A seven day. That's really, those are really spicy, legitimately spicy. They have a good flavor before the spice starts and then it overtakes everything and kind of like, I feel like if they weren't as spicy, they'd be really tasty, but instead they're only spicy. I really like, oh Jesus Christ. Right? This is you off guard.

It's like quite spicy. It makes you choke. I mean, I wish there were more chips like this available in the States because I, like sometimes you are craving some legitimate heat and like, I feel like the Flamin' Hot Cheetos, they're like a little spicy, the jalapeno, like Mrs. Vicky's chips that you get, whatever those are, that brand is called. Those are like kind of like, they're a little, you got a little bit of a burn when you're like a half bag in, but the idea of just having like this immediate heat sensation

if you're going for spiciness, it's nice to have that option. I think I might like it. I think I might. Better than one of those. More than the bag of bones. Yeah. The bag of bones, I would say, is legitimately bad. It doesn't do anything that Cheetos should be doing.

Cheetos should not glow in the dark. They should not be sour. They should not be not cheesy, right? But those, man, that, for something, I don't usually love spicy chips, like I'm more of a cool ranch guy. I like the cool, like a, or nacho cheeser. This is like, this is legitimately hot for a packaged chip. That's fucking spicy.

It's way spicy. That's so spicy. I'm glad it exists. Chester Cheeto is on the bag, and his mouth is on fire. He's spitting out fire, and I get it. He's usually pretty, I think he can handle his Cheetos, but it seems like the one he can't handle, and I don't know what that sauce is, but it's fucking, it's hot. I am sweating.

And on the back, Chester Cheeto is just sitting on the toilet. I think this is a, I think I like both of these. So how does season's eatings work? We don't have a particular rating system. We did, again, we're bad at this. We didn't decide on that particular. What are you giving him? Are you giving him a piece of coal, or is Santa taking it back to the North Pole?

Oh, shit. Wait, so, that was great. That was bad, and then he turned it into amazing. So I get a piece of coal, or Santa takes this, keeps this for himself? Can you give it a piece of coal? If it's bad, and if it's good, Santa takes it back to the North Pole for himself. Okay, all right. So it's like a treat for Santa.

Uh-huh. I think I'd give these both to Santa. I'd give the bag of bones and the EX. I'd have him enjoy both. He's got a little hot. He's got a little sweet and sour, Swedish, sourish, kind of whatever it is. I think I'd give him both. I'd give the hot bag to Santa, the bag of bones, to Jack Skeleton.

So it gets the coal? No, no. Oh, that's a third option. Yeah, they both get to take it. I don't like the bag of bones as much. My mouth is still burning from it. It's very spicy. It's fucking crazy.

Like I'm not, I don't like super spicy food, but I like medium to pretty spicy food. I'm not like a spiciness pussy. I mean, we're white men, but we're like, I handle heat. You have spicy food, bitch. I love spicy. This is legitimately spicy. This is legit. We're just trying to convey that this is actually spicy.

This is legit spicy. This is one of the spiciest snack foods I've ever had, and I appreciate that very much. I'd say, yeah, Santa, let's Santa take the spicy ones back to the North Pole. Let's give that bag of bones some coal, right? Right. That's fair. Don't eat the bag of bones. I'm going to try one more bag of bones.

Well, you can have it. Fine. There you go. It's just a very weird, it's a weird sensation. It's not the thing. It's a novelty, but it's not something that's a good thing to eat. Yep. And I also, I just want to give a quick shout out to everyone who has ever sent us stuff.

We get so much stuff. We can't test it all. Red Lobster sent us something today. They sent us a gift basket. Right. As a thank you, I guess a thank you, but also like a kind of a cease and desist for Rock Lobster Fest. It had a cease and desist in the bottom of the basket.

We just wanted to, because I don't know if they listened and heard me get tired of and almost hate the lobster by the time the whole thing ended, but, and by the way, choking on these Cheetos. Yeah, they're catching. You need some more water? Thank you, God. Yeah, no, people send us a lot of stuff. One guy in particular said to us, all dressed from Canada, Spencer, you know the person

who ate them the first time, the second bag has disappeared. I'm going to talk to them. We're going to get the all dressed. We're going to review the all dressed because people want us to review the all dressed. It's the best thing to come out of Canada, I think. Everyone loves them. And I think it's the only, it's the only thing here that's, it's disappeared. Every time it comes, it disappears, but we're going to get it and we're going to try it.

But thank you to everybody who sent stuff this year. It was very great and we appreciate it very much. We've had some really cool, weird stuff on the show because of, of, of people sending stuff in. So also we don't give out the address. People are going to some work to try to track down where the studio is. Not a direct message. I'll give you my address.

Oh, great. Uh, that was season's eating. Just like a restaurant. We've got your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Vianni. I hope I'm saying that right. Vianni writes, Hey, do boys, do you have any plans on visiting or any thoughts on Taco

Bell's flagship restaurant opening in Las Vegas? I believe it's called Taco Bell Cantina. Also Spoon Man. If you tried Capriotti's Bobby sandwich, I think it's definitely their best with their vegetarian turkey. If I could be so bold, Capriotti's is the most beloved sandwich chain in Vegas. Please give it a try. I don't think the Los Angeles locations use the same bread that's used in Vegas.

That Bobby is Thanksgiving on bun. Love you guys. P.S. Nick Weigher is a wet blanket and Spoon Nation rules. Fuck yeah. Who's that guy? I don't know about that Vianni. Um, also I hope I am saying your name wrong. Okay.

So, uh, have you had this? Have you heard of this talk about Cantina Spencer? Yeah, it's this new, it's like a nightclub kind of, kind of thing. It's supposed to be like a prestige kind of destination spot, right? Right. They got drinks and they have tacos. Our buddy Nick Karasi, I think, went this past weekend. Yeah, Bugman was there.

Bugman was there. Our friend Bugman, who Nick Weigher doesn't want on the podcast. We can have Bugman on the show. I'm just saying he's been a little bit, he's a little rude and demanding. And where, you know, some people like Spencer, who've wanted to have him on the show for a while, was very patient, very gracious with his time. I never asked. Bugman has said your show is bad.

He's not wrong, but he tells us our show is bad and that he doesn't like listening to it and that he's like, he'd do some things differently. And he stole my Spoon Man hat, which is a great Alan Yang gaze to me. That's too far. Like that's a bridge too far. Everything else. Also, I think that he's got a point with the, I think the idea of having you in the restaurant talking is interesting.

It's an interesting idea. I don't think it's this show. It could be like a special version of it or something. I think there's something there. It's probably a lot harder to engineer to make it happen. I think it's a cool idea. He was attaching a bunch of preconditions to his appearance and also being rude about it.

Yeah, I don't do that. Yeah, I don't know. We can have him on the show. I'm just saying. We'll get Bugman on here. We'll get him on here. We probably won't be able to release that episode either. I have not had that Capriotti sandwich.

That sounds great. There's one in like the Valley, right? There's a Capriotti. I think I've gotten a Bobby from there. There's another sandwich. It's like a Thanksgiving sandwich kind of. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's got stuffing and cranberry sauce and turkey and maybe gravy and maybe

mashed potatoes. I think mashed potatoes and I'm not sure about the gravy. I said this online or maybe I said that on this stupid Mitch Dot pizza app. My thing with the gobbler sandwich was I call it is no mashed potatoes and no gravy. They're too overpowering. My basics for that sandwich are turkey and roast turkey like Thanksgiving turkey. I guess not deli turkey. Stuffing, warm stuffing and also warm.

The turkey is going to be warm. Not hot but warm. Cranberry sauce and mayo on like a bulky roll. I think that's what it is. All right. You should try it. Yeah, I got to try it. They have a sandwich.

I can't remember what it was. I think it's better than the Bobby but they have it. It's great. It's like an everything sandwich I think. Really good. Capriottis. Bugman told us that his experience with the Taco Bell Cantina is that they've got alcohol there but it's all in pre-made frozen drinks which is a very Vegas-y sort of thing.

They've got those frozen cocktails. We actually went to the bar at Margaritaville and we had a great time but they had the frozen drinks there. That's like a big thing. We actually had a good time together. We had a wonderful time. Wow. It's a lot of fun.

I don't need the Taco Bell Cantina. Let me say that. Right. I love Taco Bell but that sort of thing of them feeding into the culture of now. What am I talking about? Them feeding into the culture of now. Them being like, we got a cantina and there's sauce packets that dress up. Also we got your alcohol.

It's just too much. They're too away or something. Right. Lifestyle. Yeah. Yes. They want to feed into your lifestyle. This is a lifestyle brand which I think is so fucking stupid.

And Jack Allison made a great point about Pokemon which his thing with Pokemon is like. Be careful. He loves Pokemon and his issue with Pokemon Go is that it's a thing that everyone was like, look at me. I'm playing Pokemon Go and that angered him very much. He said that Pokemon, he always equated the thing of shame with it is that he loved this game but it was his and it was his game to play. And Taco Bell kind of has that sort of thing of like where I'm like, I don't want to be

like, hey, I'm at Taco Bell. This is cool. I love Taco Bell but I like to eat it and get it in my car and go home and shamefully stuff my face with tacos. I don't need to go out to be like, this is a hip happening place. That's fucking, that's stupid. Yeah. They should know their place and it's not a prestigious place.

Exactly. Right. And you know what? I guess that's Vegas just in general as Vegas is a douchey in your face place and I'm not that I hate Vegas. I don't love it but like it's a little annoying. It's a little annoying and so that's a part like until all the people who live in Vegas, I get it and it's fun and you work there and you live there and it's different.

It's a different scene for a local, I feel like you got your own local haunts. You can avoid. I'm sure they think a lot of those people are annoying and douchey are on the strip. But like sure, it makes sense for Vegas but I don't need a Taco Bell cantina unless they're going to be offering up something more besides just frozen mixed drinks. Right. I think that's a good point. I mean, it's like already, it already has such an association with alcohol consumption

and getting fucked up that like do they really need to bring that into the building itself? Can that just be a separate thing held at arm's length? I said this to you because at one point you were into it but I was like Taco Bell is such a place you go when you're like fucked up and now they're like, hey come on in. We're serving mixed drinks and I'm like that doesn't seem right for whatever reason. Right. I think I'm fine with the concept but I just don't, it's not a thing I personally need. But I'm also like I will dine in places.

I'm a dine in guy so it's something that adds to the dine in experience. That's kind of interesting. Fair enough. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com, check out our Facebook page, Dowboys, follow us on Twitter at dowboyspod, subscribe and rate us on iTunes, help us out. Spencer Kittenden, thanks so much for coming here, for spending so much time with us discussing Jack of the Box.

Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? Yeah. Well, I'd like to plug my segment of Dowboys that's called Spencer Snackdown. This is the segment where Spencer breaks down snacks. No, we're way over time. Otherwise, I would and I'm prepared. Wait, what do you have? No, no, no.

Do you have anything? No, no. Okay. I mean, there's a big Snickers bar that you could buy at 7-Eleven. It's 12 bucks and everyone should buy one. How big is it? It is literally this big, literally this big. For those of you who can't see, it's about the size of a Gremlin stick.

It's about a foot long and three inches wide, I'd say, and about an inch and a half tall. It's just a giant fucking Snickers bar. It's amazing. Okay. You were gesturing like you were holding two classroom erasers end to end. And that's accurate. Yeah. It would be like eating two.

Yeah. It's amazing. Anyone should eat that much Snickers. It's amazing. So, yeah. So, check out the Slice and Share Snickers at 7-Eleven. It's a great stocking stuffer. Oh.

My dad. Everything. I took it to Thanksgiving. It was a hit. People were cutting it up. It was great. Definitely get that. Harman Quest is a show I do.

It's me and Dan Harmon and some comedy people. We come and we play D&D or role-playing games in front of a live studio audience. We make it up. They laugh. We tell a story. It's Dungeons & Dragons. It's Pathfinder. It's role-playing.

We have character sheets. We're playing fantasy warriors. It's really funny. It's on CISO. You can check it out now. Next season is going to be coming next July? Next summer. So, mark your calendars that, you know, next summer a show is going to come out.

I love you to watch. But, yeah, no, check out, check out, well, check out the Doughboys. It's great. If you've never heard of it. I hope someone somehow checks out Doughboys from this recommendation. Right. They hear it playing from someone else's speaker and hear just this part of the episode and like, hey, I like that guy.

I'm going to listen to what he has to say. Yeah. Big Snickers. This guy knows who to talk about. Yeah. No. I'm not a big fan of the Bairl audio. You can download it, Google it, whatever.

Harman Quest, it's all not my name. It's Harman's name. But yeah, check it out. You can see stuff I was in if you care about that, but don't. Okay. You sound like us. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not proud of any of the stuff I've done except for Harman Quest and Harman Town. Well, let's see. You get two up on me. Yeah, you beat those bikes here. That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for The Spoonman, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. Happy holidays.

Bye. Bye. Bairl audio.