Doughboys - Jersey Mike's 2 with Jon Daly

Episode Date: January 14, 2021

Jon Daly (Kroll Show, Abracadabralifornia) returns to talk music, sandwiches, and Jersey Mike's. Plus, our guest and the 'boys give up treats they hold dear in the debut of My Snackrifice.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.kickstarter.com/discover/advanced?sort=most_funded&seed=2678973&page=1https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2870708/reviews?ref_=tt_urvhttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt0333766/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0https://web.archive.org/web/20100701132504/http://uk.rottentomatoes.com/m/garden_state/https://www.qsrmagazine.com/news/jersey-mikes-finishes-2015-strong-unit-growth https://www.jerseymikes.com/historyAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fm.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Browsing the most funded tab of Kickstarter, one quickly sees a pattern, a rash of feature-laden over-designed gadgetry, board game adaptations of existing video games, and derivative card games with random and or edgelord sensibilities, all of which raise millions, whether a finished product was delivered or not. But there's an anomaly among the smart grills and cards against humanity clones named things like Bears vs. Babies, a feature film starring, written, and directed by Hollywood sitcom actor Zach Braff. In 2013, Scrubstar Braff launched a Kickstarter for a self-financed film to runaway success,

inspiring subsequent kickstarters by Hollywood IP like Veronica Mars and Mystery Science Theatre 3000. The next year, he released his Kickstarter-funded film Wish I Was Here to middling reception. The film's story, centered on an underemployed actor whose financial straits mean he can no longer afford to send his kids to a fancy private school, forcing him to homeschool them, public school bizarrely considered unthinkable, failed to connect with audiences, despite their emotional and financial investment. But that investment was all predicated on the rapturous reception of Braff's previous

directorial outing, his 2004 film about a different underemployed actor who meets a manic pixie dream girl and learns he doesn't need a psychiatric medication after all. While often mocked for its earnestness and college freshman mixtape soundtrack, the film was critically praised at the time and was a genuine indie hit at the box office. An essential character in this film is the titular location to which Braff's character returns home, the Garden State, New Jersey. And it's New Jersey where, in 1971, a 17-year-old Peter Cancro purchased the Jersey Shore Sandwich Shop where he worked, with financial help not from Kickstarter, but rather a substantial

personal loan from his high school football coach. Cancro's ambition and acumen helped grow the single shop into a small chain and, in 1987, a franchise. Its wheels greased by the mix of red wine vinegar and olive oil dubbed the juice that's doused on its subs. By 2014, the year Wish I Was Here hit theaters, the chain had 750 locations. And unlike Braff's quixotic directing career, this Garden State original found even greater success thereafter, today with over 1,500 locations and counting.

This week on Doe Boys, we return to Jersey Mike's Subs. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Buzz's girlfriend, Woof, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. So I'm, what? I'm Buzz's girlfriend, Woof? Buzz's girlfriend, Woof. The line from the movie. The line from Home Alone, now this episode's coming out in January, but a Christmas movie

probably on James W's brain who sent that in. We're recording, of course I didn't like the roast, that was like one of the producer's sons in a wig, right? For Buzz's girlfriend? Yes, yes. Because the director didn't want to, he didn't want to be like, oh, this little girl is ugly. So he's like, oh, we'll do a, we'll put a wig on a boy. Yeah.

Good move. Yeah. But yeah, no bad roast, I didn't like it. Yeah. James W also writes, do you guys have any memorable favorite kids meal toys from back in the day? I have fond memories of the men in black toys from Burger King when I was a kid. James W, that is not the purpose of the roast Spoon Man email. So don't try to sneak a few bad question in with the roast.

Nice try. Nice try. Why didn't you answer it? You liked when HBO did like the, the hung toys at, at McDonald's, right? Yeah, that was at Arby's, weird combo. Oh, Arby's, okay. Yeah. Exactly.

Correct. I just finished Mad Men. Wow. I'm a little behind on the series, but, uh, Don Draper, a bit of a rascal. He has a reputation for some rascal-like behavior. I know I'm behind on this. I know it's a late tick, but he's a little bit of a rascal. Yeah.

Kind of a scoundrel, a rake, if you will, but with some redeeming qualities. Yes. Yeah. I mean, it's still, it's like Roger as well. They're both, both likable. Roger and Sterling, same thing. I'm watching Sopranos with my mom. For her first time, I've seen it before.

Very exciting, very exciting rewatch, uh, very exciting to show that to somebody for the first time. I'd be interested in rewatching Sopranos and seeing what I, what my take was, hey, there you go. Maybe we got a little mini series. Doe Pranos. Hmm. Sweaty.

I've actually never seen a Sopranos, so I would do that. Emma. It's a good show. It's a quality show. You should watch it. It's a great show. Yeah. I mean, I don't like how it encourages mob violence, but, oh, I like that stuff.

No, it glamorizes the mafia. I think that's wrong. Crime is a sin. Crime is a sin. Yes. Why? Did you make your big, has your big announcement been made yet or not? Yes.

The episode will be out in January and, you know, people will know that I shall not eat meat this year, that I am going veggie for 2021. And I also have an announcement. Yes. I shall be going all meat this year. Wow. Not a veggie to be had. Full carnivore.

Uh-huh. No veggies allowed. The Jordan Peterson diet. Yeah. Almost, almost killed him. I was deciding on which way I should go, if I should go, I'm going vegan this year to try to top you. Uh-huh.

But I felt like the meat thing was more believable. We impressed if you commit to it. Hey, Mitch, while we're making announcements, here's a big one. You know, this past Tuesday on the Doughboys Double, our Patreon episode, we had a contest called the Drop Off. In fact, the entire episode was dedicated to the Drop Off. You, me, Emma, and our associate producer, the Drop King, Robert Bersinger, judged a bunch of drops, 10 drops that were sent in, and picked one ultimate winner.

And that winner, who won the Golden Turd Award for best drop, gets their drop played on this episode. That is their prize. Are you trying to take control of the drops? I control the drops. No one's taking control of the drops? I'm just setting this up. I'm giving some context.

Not everyone who listens to the show has the fucking Patreon. You just had your little I'm the Captain Now moment with me, and that's bullshit. Well, I am the Captain Now. You're not the Captain Now. I've always been the Captain. You've never been the Captain. I'm the Captain Now. That's fucking bullshit.

I'm the Captain Now. Look at me. I'm the Captain. You're not the Captain. I am. I'm the Captain. I'm the Captain Now. And I'm going to say, I don't know, to Spoon Nation.

You can't do that. You're like Captain Crunch. I'm not Captain Crunch. You're Captain Crunch. You're the Captain Crunch Now. More like Captain Lunch. I don't know. You were right.

All right. Let's play the drop then, Wags. Here we go. Here's a little drop. The drop winner. Trolls in silence with his thoughts, people think he's a robot, even likes his salad hot. It's waggy.

I'm in love. He's not fat. He's Quincy-sized. He's got lovely, squinty eyes. Muffins, dip, crisps of it fries. It's Spoon Man. I'm in love. I'm in love.

I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love.

I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. I'm in love. Club Not Late. Club is where we celebrate, but Spoon Man always shows up late. Hold on. Wow.

That one, Yeah, that was the best of the bunch. Let's... What a shitty contest. In my attempt at killing any goodwill I may have earned with the drop that had my two-year-old son on vocals. In case the lyrics aren't entirely understandable, I tried. Here they are. Drives in silence with his thoughts. People think he's a robot.

Even likes his salads hot. It's waggy. I'm in love. He's not fat. He's Quincy-sized. Fuck you. He's got lovely squinty eyes. Moff eats him crisp oven fries.

It's Spoon Man. I'm in love. Club is where we celebrate, but Spoon Man always shows up late. That's the whole thing. Very good. And that's from Ben. Ben was the winner. The Cure Plus Doughboy is waggy.

I'm in love. That's the winner of the drop-off. But... Why? Yes. I think this is another turd. I think we should flush this thing. Yeah, I think the winner of the Golden Turd deserves the same fate as all other turds.

Let's flush it, Emma. All right. There it goes. Sorry, Ben. Our poor guest thinks that we've... This podcast has turned into like a drive-time radio fucking show. Sucks. Well, hey, we're thrilled to have him in any event.

Why? Did you take your vaccine, the COVID vaccine? Yeah. Well, podcasters get it first. As you know, Mayor Garcetti here in LA has classified, this is true, podcasters as essential workers. That's a true fact. So it's true.

It is legal for us to do whatever we need to do to conduct our business, because we are essential, apparently, to the local economy. So, yeah, we got to the front of the line. We got vaccines, but I pushed a nurse aside. I pushed one aside. I wasn't going to put the vaccine. I just saw one on the street, pushed her over. Weiss, does the world deserve the cure?

I tell you what, it certainly deserves the cure as referenced in that drop, the Robert Smith cure. That's true. That's very true. And you know what? Maybe things will go back to normal, huh? I mean, even though it didn't... Nothing changed for a ton of assholes across the world, so who cares?

Yeah, who cares? Hey, you know, speaking of musicians and jazzy tunes... Hey! We got a great guest today. He's an actor, comedian, and musician from Kroll Show, and his new album, Abracadabra Alaphornia, is available now. John Daly. John, thank you for coming back.

Butchered. Hey, thanks so much for having me. Yeah. Abracadabra Alaphornia. Yeah. Abracadabra Alaphornia. Abracadabra Alaphornia. Butchered.

Yeah. Butchered. Destroyed. Again, his new album, Abracadabra Alaphornia, is available now. Abracadabra Alaphornia. Butchered. You fucked up. You fucked it up.

Stop it. I'm the captain now. Stop it. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. Hey, wait. I gotta say, I shouldn't say we don't care. We care about everyone who's been affected by COVID.

I got in my head just a second ago, but I... Oh, don't worry about that. You're fine. No one thought that. Thanks for making that clear. All right, good. Actually, maybe some people did take that advice. Well, some people did take that at face value.

It seems... We do have a lot of listeners who seem to not like or understand jokes. Yes, that's true. Do not know that this is... I mean, it's barely a comedy podcast anyway, so who can blame them. Is that on us? Is it our fault? It might be more on us.

Fuck. It's fucking world. All right. Moving on. Yeah. Daily, while we're talking about... While we're on this topic... Of what?

It's been long enough... This lockdown has been long enough where this is your second quarantine episode. Wow. Which is... It's staggering that enough time has passed where we're doing this a second time. Crazy. Yeah. When was the first one?

April or something? May? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. We were still having fun. Wow. We were having quarantine fun at that point. Yeah, I was like footloose and fancy free at that point.

I was psyched about life. Just like, this is going to be two weeks. Let's go. But yeah, it's been rough. Everyone's going crazy. Yeah. It's been pretty gnarly, but you're hanging in there, I assume. I'm hanging in there.

Yeah. I got my dog. Oh, yeah. Trying to get out of town. The lockdown is rough. There are drones, machine gun drones that will shoot you if you go outside. No, it's like... It hit some new level of scariness today, like of lockdown weirdness with Garcetti.

We're recording this in December, and so as of this date that we're recording it, the mayor in LA released this long, like, rambling statement that was like 12 typed pages explaining the lockdown ordinance that made it sound like initially no one was allowed to go outside for any reason. Yeah. And then it had all these exemptions written in this legalese, this indecipherable legalese that basically said that nothing was fundamentally changing and everyone can just still... Everyone still has to go to work or whatever.

It's so fucking weird. Yeah. Yeah. Current health and human services. Yeah. Like, current secretary of the interior former LA mayor. Yeah. That's grim.

Do you think he did it just to... I mean, if I were mayor, I would just... I would make it so that no one could go outside except for me. I think that would be a fun abuse of power. Yeah. And you just work out in public with your secret service and just run around and stretch really disgustingly. Oh, man.

Somebody put his IMDB profile on Twitter, Eric Garcetti, the LA mayor, and he works more than a lot of actors. I know. He's like... Yeah. It's like Phineas and Ferb. Like, you know, all these... He's been on so many shows, like, as himself.

Yeah. Just constant cameos. Yeah. Hey, he's got to keep busy somehow. Yeah. What else does he have on his plate? Yeah. Screaming at the Black Lives Matter protesters outside his house, I guess.

I don't know. Do you know one of my first jobs in LA? I was governor of California. Gavin Newsom's wife, Jennifer Saibow, I think. She made a movie that I was a PA on. His current wife. His current wife. Yes.

Yeah. Maybe the future first lady. Wow. It's possible. It's crazy. If he stops eating at a... At a... What's it called?

Fucking... Where was he? The French Laundry? French Laundry. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's got to go to the French Laundry and get caught. It's like a rite of passage.

They're probably like, you're not cool unless you get caught at the French Laundry, not social distancing. Guys, we got to get up there and get ourselves caught. We got to go. I mean, we have permission. We have tacit permission. We have explicit permission as podcasters, as essential workers. We got to get up there.

You can call it a chain restaurant. There's been a chain of politicians who've been caught there. Thank you. Wouldn't that be some sort of like a red light? I was at least a yellow light to be like, I probably shouldn't go to the French Laundry, the place where everyone's getting caught. You wouldn't think so, but I don't know. I mean, I think there's just a brazenness to being that powerful.

I think you're unable to see what you're like. You're unable to even understand what you're doing, both ethically and then also the optics of it. I think you're so insulated from that that you don't know that anything is wrong until someone criticizes you for it. Yeah. I don't know. It's bizarre to me.

I would think that if I was the person who is giving the ordinance and saying that everyone has to do this, I would be the person who most of all wants to follow those rules. I would think that's a total lead-by-example moment, but I guess a lot of people aren't wired that way. It'll be tough because you just come off like a huge-ass dork. I like a little of it. Yeah, be cool, man. Be cool like the president.

Don't wear a mask. Flout the laws and recommendations and demonize doctors. That's what's cool. Doctors are losers now. The worst. Yeah. Threaten their wives. Threaten their husbands.

Daily, I wanted to ask you something. This is a topic we've never discussed, not on-pod, or I don't even think IRL. I don't think we've discussed this in any context, but you are a sax man. You're a saxophonist. I'm a sax man. I'm a single-read sax player type. Very cool. Why is it double-read?

I'm not a double-read. Those are more difficult and require a larger amount of breath control than the single-read, I would say. Yeah, but I did start in the single-read. No, they don't. Sax got a cool sound. It's true. Sax sounds cool as hell, and I did actually play saxophone.

I started in the single-read world before expanding to include double-read, so I started on clarinet, and then I played alto sax, and for a time I played alto sax and berry sax, though I dabbled in all of the saxes. Wow. And I picked up a soon, ultimately. But you're from pictures, I believe you're an alto man. I'm an alto man for the purposes of that is what I was raised on, and if you're singing and performing and doing, like having a baritone's a little rough, they're really large.

Yes. Or a tenor, rather, either. Tenors are pretty big, too. Yeah. A baritone, they sound the best, I would say. Baritones are great sounding, the low-range, really, really beautiful, but alto saxes are just so portable that it kind of just makes sense. I just went on a short tour with a band, Man-Man, that had a real saxophone player, and what

I realized is that the saxophone is just as infinite, or maybe this is true of read instruments, or a lot of horns or something, but the way that he plays it is he sings notes with his throat, so he's singing at the same time as playing a note. Wow. In those two things, you can do almost infinite musical things with saxophones, which I didn't really realize. He was going with his voice, and then kind of harmonizing his voice, and then dissonancing his voice with the notes that he was playing on the sax, and therefore bending those notes,

but also harmonizing with them in a certain way through an electrified, or a mic'd sax, and that was pretty incredible, guys. That sounds awesome. I'm not sure for any questions about saxophones. I know. That sounds rad. That's an advanced technique. It is cool.

Yeah. It's cool. You made it sound much cooler than Weigar, too, by the way, who's, who's, he's like a doctor. Weigar is like Dr. Dork when he describes his room. Hey, Dr. Dork. Hey, Dr. Dork, give me the vaccine. Give me the fucking, give me the vaccine.

When the doctor, when you're getting a little, when the doctor is feeling your ball for lump logs, fucking wedgie, wedgie that bitch when he's bent over. Hey, Dr. Dork, you feeling any tumors on my ball? How, because, you know, you imagine that probably some, you know, some four-eyed braniacs who were perhaps a little bit, you know, maligned in, in middle school, ultimately went the path and they, they finished medical school and they became like, you know, a, a general practitioner. They became a doctor.

They're saving lives. And then they end up in a situation where a bully fucking wedgies them. How, what, what, how defeated the crushing must that moment be? You know what I'm going to say to them? Nah, nah, nah, not so fast. I think they can get away with it and become cool. Yeah, it's just humiliating, if not more. Yeah.

There's no escape. Uh, so what did you, when did you get into saxophone though? You started playing as a kid? I did. I was on piano and then I, I kind of took up the sax in fourth grade and had this sax and then in high school, I had like a school sax in the high school. My parents bought me a, like some sort of sax and I, I had that. And then I started and then I stopped doing band, like junior and senior year, year of

high school. And then just when I was kind of in New York, I would just like take it out sometimes and play and improvise and kind of just learned how to improvise, you know, badly, but still kind of, you can, you can kind of make a sax sound really good, you know, not being like super good at it. But now I've, I've just practiced enough that I can play a lot of stuff and it's, it's fun. I like it a lot.

Yeah. So I'm making an album next year. Every song has a sax solo in it. So all different kinds of songs, funny songs. And all sax based. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah.

That's the gimmick. I, yeah, that's, that's a boy, the, the people who can really just solo in with a saxophone, it's just, it's just like, it's such an awesome sound that some of my favorite music to listen to is like, you know, you put on some sunny Rollins or some Cannonball Adderley or someone who just Dexter Gordon, someone who can just like fucking like sustain a solo and make that into its own thing. I'm just like, fuck, I love this. And I love just to kind of have it in the background while I'm doing something.

Rest in peace. LaRoy Moore Wigs from Dave Matthews Band. That's right. Great saxophone. He's got a great sound to him. He was. He was. All right, he, they're dropping like flies.

Sorry. That's terrible. It's a terrible thing to say about people, but all I remember because I'm not like really a fan of the music. All I remember about Dave Matthews Band is members dying. It's terrible. He, he was an ATV accident, which, which, which has killed. Sadly, I know it's killed a couple of celebrities, but he was, it was an ATV

accident, very sad, nothing fun here. Well, I'm sorry to go down this path, but that's how he died. Osborne had a year in traction from an ATV accident or something. Yeah, really? Yeah. They're really deeply dangerous. Yes. Yeah.

But pretty cool, right? They're cool. They're cool. They're not as cool as hell. You'll never see a doctor on one of those things. No, not Dr. Dork, certainly. He's like, guys, I don't know.

They're not safe. Shut up. Shut up, dude. Nobody's ever died on these things. Dr. Dork. Hold my beer. Mitch, you, you're, you're, you have a saxophone story of your own, don't you?

Am I misremembering this? It was a saxophone. Yeah, I played, I sadly played, I just remember playing the Simpsons theme song on my saxophone for my grandparents. Like, and I remember just thinking that they were all thinking about how they only had like a few years left to live and we're listening to this. I mean, like, does that occur to you during the solo? I mean, like, I remember as a boy, like being like, this is like disappointing

and bad, like, like, you know, when you're like a kid and you're like, yeah. And you're in, like, it's that point where you're like, you see older. It happened to me a couple of times. I remember my sister had a birthday in the greens down the street. I think I've told this story. But we've said everything on the podcast, but I told a joke for my sister's birthday, like on a video, like we did like a video. And I remember like my sister's friend's dad being like, I don't get it.

And I was like, oh, like the cuteness is like, oh, like, like this is, you know, people aren't putting up with the cute, the cuteness anymore. And that's like the same thing that happened when I was like playing, when I was blowing into the saxophone, it was like this thing of like three grandparents just watching me and you could just, you could feel that thing of like, they don't like this. This is, this is like, I'm like a pain in the ass to them right now. They're not enjoying this.

The cuteness has died. It's not working. And I childhood died in that moment. My little solo, you were probably like seven or eight, right? I was, I was probably a little bit older than that. I was probably like 10 or 11, which makes sense that it was like, okay. Sure. I don't like it out of here.

But I, but I, my saxophone teacher in fifth grade told me to quit. He just straight up said, he just, he straight up said to me, you should stop playing the saxophone and I did awful. What was the, like what? I mean, just because I think I was just because they could tell you that you weren't into it or were they like, you don't have it kid. Yeah, I think I was like a fifth, I was like a fifth, a fifth grader, not five years old.

I was a fifth grader and just wasn't doing well. And I think not practicing enough. And he was just like, you shouldn't play it anymore. That's, he was, he was, he was rough. He just told it like it was, you, I mean, he was right. But that's a, it doesn't matter if he's right. That's terrible. The pursuit to tell a child that pursuit of something is worthless is ridiculous.

That's like an eighties, like an early, early, early nineties thing that you could probably, you'd get fired for or something. But yeah, that's like a whiplash tough love thing. Right. Yeah. It's, it's so it's interesting. I think that's the, I agree with John. That's, that's the wrong age for that approach of like, but I definitely,

I had a saxophone teacher when I was 15 or 16, somewhere in that range. I was in high school and it was great. He's a great musician, but he kind of like had an attitude and he'd kind of be like, you know, if I, if he could tell I didn't practice enough. He'd just be like, lessons over. Like, like, you know, you can practice and just send me home. I had a dickhead band teacher too. Wow.

You did. I did. This guy, Mr. Patterson in Carson Middle School in North Allegheny in Pittsburgh. This guy was just a legend. Everyone talks about, he was like so deeply mean and he would do this thing after he would like compare us to the eighth grade band. Like we were sixth grade or whatever. And he was like, man, you guys, you're all required to watch the eighth grade band tonight.

You got to stay after you're part of the concert and you got to go into the seats. You got to watch the eighth grade bank because, man, they're cooking. I don't know what you guys are doing. I don't know what you guys are doing. And after one concert, like our Christmas concert or whatever, he goes, he goes, yeah, yeah, sometimes he just like comes in and there's like a heavy silence while everyone files in and sits down, takes out their horns. And he's just like clicking his like stick on his fucking music stand.

And he just looks at us and goes, you know, sometimes I just wish I had a crossbow and, you know, because I don't want a gun because that makes too much noise. But if I had a crossbow, I could take you out from the podium. When you play a bad note and he made a girl cry during this speech. And he was like, well, I guess she needs to cry. Guess she needs to go. It was like the biggest sociopath, like an evil person as your teacher. Wild. And it was such a and he would

he would take out his trumpet and he was amazing. He was a very good trumpet player and played in several bands in Pittsburgh and stuff. And he would like, oh, here's how you do it. Like for every instrument, he would take out his trumpet and play the the the kind of like timing out of things for us and like show off during it. And then, yeah, and it was just like, oh, wow. And then I got to high school and I was like, oh, my God, music teachers sometimes are just nice people that are hippies.

They're not like total Nazis. Like that crossbow thing I'll never forget. And he also like people would forget their clarinet at home and come into the class crying. And he was like, oh, man, like, I guess, like, like a couple of times he showed a little bit of like depth of feeling because he did something terrible. But man, he was he was rough. Man, rough stuff.

Why is what if a week now? What if a week from now we hear that John's been killed by a crossbow? Oh, my God, for doing that. He would also go. There's a restaurant in Pittsburgh called Rico's and he'd go, I'm a you guys are wasting my time. I could be taking my family to Rico's. That was a big I could be a Rico's with my kids.

I kind of like them now. That rules. I'm back on board. He's a good dude. Shout out to Mr. Patterson. Wow, I won't I won't dox my my saxophone teacher's last name. But he but Mike, my saxophone teacher, this this is a story kind of along those lines.

But my my friend Arthur also had Mike as a saxophone teacher and he came to school once and he was like, he was like kind of like bummed. He's like, Mike told me I played like I'd never touched a tit. Oh. Go touch some tits. Yeah, that is what grade were you in? I was like I was like six fifteen or sixteen. So he was like a year younger than me.

So he was like he was fourteen or fifteen. Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. But again, a great amazing musician. I mean, that's a lot of music educators are just, you know, in instrumental and voice or just like fucking amazingly talented. It's just so hard to make a living.

It's a so so let me let me ask you this just to stick on this topic for one more second. How do you like like OK, you're playing a wind instrument. Do you have anything any foods or drinks that you you you try to avoid? Or is there does that is your or your consumption habits at all informed by I'm going to play the saxophone in a half hour? Oh, wow. Interesting. I think you just I think it's the same as singing.

Like you just don't want to have dairy, basically. Makes sense. Yeah. That's kind of it. And then you just kind of, you know, blow if you just kind of like sit and play sax for a little just play it backstage and blow warm air through it and do all the ritual, then, you know, you just kind of get into it. But I I'd clean my mouth out with something like water or seltzer, coffee. There's a lot of coffee drinking, I think.

But anything's cool, as long as it's not just like, you know, milky. Yeah, you don't want that thick spit. That's yeah, that's tough. It can ruin your sound. That's funny, because Nick and I, we we make sure to drink a tall glass of milk before every podcast we record, right? Yeah. I got a milk shake. I'm sipping on it now. Yeah. Feel like some people's mouth is like glued together

and they just like unglue it and start their podcast with just so many spit clicks, like all the like every click you hear. Yeah, so gross. That's like, that's that seems like MPR ish, too. I feel like I always just thought it was like good microphones or something. I I I just thought it was better microphones than ours, because I feel like I have a lot of spit in my mouth. People should hear that, right? When we talk, Nick.

But I don't I don't hear it from you, really. Yeah, you don't you don't have that like like spitty sort of talk from you guys. And I listen to the podcast and the only time when you take a bite of food and I can tell that you've taken a bite of food and you're trying to talk, that gets that same thing activated. But other than that, you guys are and if you think about like Terry Gross, like in terms of just pure mic control, it's a mirror. Like she's a genius, you know, like yes, just the just the smoothness

and like think about like, you know, listening to some podcast or whatever. And, you know, you guys are professional performers, so you have just a different level. But like something about Terry Gross's cleanliness on the mic is so just like, it's amazing to me. It's amazing, like it's almost inhuman in a certain way. It's kind of like, Emma, make us sound like Terry Gross from here on out. What the fuck?

Yeah, we just get to increase the microphone budget by like a couple grand and we'll be there. All right. Acts that plan. Yeah, OK. Forget it. I wonder, so let me ask you this because we're talking about a sandwich chain this week. And yes, Pittsburgh. I, you know, we've talked about primantes with you a couple of times before. That's I think the sandwich place that people think of, which, you know, I think we've we've talked about how it's maybe more for tourists.

But I think so, yes. But sandwich sandwiches in general in the Steel City, or if you just want to talk in sandwiches at large, like, like, where do you where do you land with your sandwich preferences? Wow. Yeah, John, do you want to talk about sandwiches at large? What the hell? Yeah. In general, from everywhere. Yeah, Pittsburgh, the the Permanent Brothers sandwich with the fries.

Like I grew up in Pittsburgh, but I did not grow up eating sandwich with the fries. I don't think anybody really did. That's kind of like, right. Pittsburgh's more of a like, you can get pierogies at bars and stuff like that. Like, but, you know, it might have changed out of that because I, you know, I haven't lived there in a while. But I but sandwich wise, national, you know, I love fat sals, which is Jerry Ferrara from Antara Turtle from Antara's place

in West Hollywood. That is a great sandwich place, like no joke. And then Grimellas or right here on on Los Feliz Boulevard in that water, Grimellas. I think it's got I feel now I've Grimaldi's Grimaldi's is what it is. And that is like what Subway or Jersey Mike's or any of these places is kind of trying to be, which is a real authentic

Italian, like there's only one Grim, Grimaldi's. No, Grimaldi's is a pizza place in Brooklyn. Anyways, yeah, it's it's it's it's it's GML is GML is sorry. GML is it's right. It's right in the beginning of Atwater. Yeah, it's like Atwater Village on Los Feliz Boulevard in Los Angeles. But those places are really good. I love a I guess hamburgers don't count as sandwiches.

I love. Yeah, I don't. And then there's there's a place that is pretty good called Wax Paper in Frogtown here. All their sandwiches are unfortunately named after NPR personalities. So you can get like a David Brancaccio and you can get a Kairiz doll or something like that, and it's like a Kaiser roll. But aside from that, they have some good.

Yeah, there's a little sweaty. I have a name every single one. I don't know if they have a Terry Gross because that's not a great name for a Sam like Terry, I guess. Yeah, you're right. This is sandwich is poop and pee. Very gross. I believe the wax paper people listen to the podwikes.

I think they listen to go. Yeah. Shout out. Sorry about sorry about insulting your sandwich names. But change them. There's Hey, the sandwiches are great. The sandwiches are really fantastic sandwiches. They are, especially their tuna sandwich. It's it's really incredible. I like all about.

Wait, I like all about the bread. Yes, but I meant to say potato chip deli. I like a lot to all the bread, potato chip deli. And then, of course, Wags. Look, we'll say it for you. The godmother down there at Bay Cities. Yes, we're talking about a lot of LA local places. For those of you elsewhere in the country or the world, but these are

but all about the bread is kind of the considered to be something of a clone of Bay City's deli in Santa Monica, which famously has the godmother, which is just a loaded like Italian sub. That is what you're like. One of the best things you can get to eat in the city. It's what it really is. That that bread and everything. You know what the best sandwiches are, though, in LA are the

the sandwiches at the wine shop on Larchmont Larchmont. Yeah, it's always got a line out the door. This is very LA conversation. But that those are actually just the bread alone is just so wonderful. Yeah, it's such an obnoxious sounding place. Larchmont wine and cheese. But they do have a fucking fantastic sandwiches. If you go in there, you go there, get the tuna.

It's fantastic. But I'm going to say this. We can be specific and local because when it comes to the national conversation, there's not many yikes. We there's portrayals, which Subway, Poppily, Subway's, Quiznos and and Quiznos you can barely find anymore. What am I missing here? Yikes, Subway's, Poppily, Quiznos, Jersey Mike's, Jersey Mike's covering. You've also got your you've you've also got the the Firehouse Sugs.

Firehouse is an up and coming chain that is had that has grown a lot. When I was visiting my parents in Pittsburgh, I had a let me let me figure out what this there was a really good sub place. But go ahead. Sorry. That's on the East Coast and here in Quincy, like I feel like there's Blimpy's. That's another one. There's like 12 a dozen. Yes, Blimpy's.

There's like a dozen places in Quincy, though, that so many places on the East Coast, just like the local pizza place makes sub sandwiches. Emma knows this. And John, you probably remember this from back in the day. But just I've said this on the podcast a million times. It's just everywhere makes sandwiches. And then I got the angels here, two yikes. But nationally, I feel like the sandwich game,

like the sandwich to go chain was kind of at a low point. Subway kind of took over for a while. And it was it was it was pretty it was pretty it was pretty shitty. And then I feel like Firehouse Subs and Popbellies has been around for a long time, but kind of making I feel like it's maybe expanding a little bit. Or there are people they're making inroads nationally. Yeah, a lot of regional chains. They're they're expanding.

It's a we missed a couple in the top in the top five. One of them is Jimmy John's, which we know we do. Jimmy John's a big one. This one, I was surprised. I don't you know, I don't mind Jimmy John's obviously. The man seems like a scumbag. But that's true of a lot of these chains. OK, yeah.

But but the the the other one, which is just behind number one is Subway. Number two is Jersey Mike's, which we're about to review. But the third biggest chain in the sandwich chain, apparently, is Schlotzki's. I had no idea it was that big of a presence. There are no Schlotzki's around here. I don't even know if I've been to a Schlotzki's. I know of it, but I don't think I've ever been to one. I've been to one, maybe in Arizona.

That if that's right, if there if there are any in Arizona. But I yeah, I've not been to one around here. You know, I'll say this. I eat a salad for lunch, but sandwiches, a big sandwich. Favorite lunch. How can you beat a nice big sandwich? It's true. Good lunch. Great lunch. Also, also on the sandwich list,

I should mention Arby's is on there, which I guess qualifies as a sandwich, though not a traditional sandwich. OK, Portillo's, which is, you know, more regional, but there are locations great around the nation. This one, this is an interesting one for the top sandwich rankings that this is included. Wienerschnitzel, the hot dog chain. Wags, do we have to get into it or hot dog sandwiches?

Hot dogs are way what they might be sandwiches. I don't know. I mean, if I'm going by this article, then yeah, definitely, I guess they are. Let's leave it to the Internet to work it out. Settled it. Hashtag our hot dog sandwiches. Let's answer it.

Let's be the ones who tackle this. Yeah. Mitch, sandwich, your sandwich prefs, what kind of sandwiches we've talked about this a lot on the show, but refresh everyone, what do you look for on a big sandwich? Look, when it comes to a big sub sandwich, if we're talking to submarine sandwich, a hoagie, as you will,

I got to go with my favorites or an Italian sub sandwich or sandwich. The steak and cheese is one of my faves, too. So those those those as those are my two favorite hot and colds is the is the steak and cheese in the Italian. Yeah, I get all sandwiches, Mike's way. Yes, Jersey, Mike's. I go in Mike's way to go. Yeah, give me Mike's way.

Yeah, I got today. I got three different subs from Jersey Mike's. Yeah, well, let's get into it. Jersey Mike's subs was first opened in 1956 in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. The chain was acquired by young Peter Cancro in 1974 and now has a Cancro special sandwich on the menu. They began franchising in 1987 and now have over 1500 locations nationwide. Daily, have you got these three sandwiches in front of you?

But is Jersey Mike's a place you've patronized in the past? Yes, I like Jersey Mike's a lot. Wow, generally, I really like it. Yeah, I mean, I don't really like it. But if it's if it's an option, I'll take it a lot on the road. If I'm driving up up a highway or a byway, I will. Yeah, no, I had a subway period of my life. It was like a at a temp job in New York City for a couple of years

where I would go into subway like I probably like 200 times, you know, just so many subway sandwiches. And it's great. And then when Quiznos came out, I was like, thank God, this is really good. But I also feel like the ingredients weren't much better than subway. They were just toasting the ingredients. And so that makes it taste better period. But Jersey Mike's is it is like a cut above those.

No, I think it kind of is. I think it's a sub. I think it's a sub above. Is that is that their tagline? Wait, that's their it's a sub above. Oh, my God. Wow. It's a sub above. That's a fun thing to say.

It's a sub above. It is. It is very fun to say. Yeah, I admit, Mitch, I so quickly vacillated from. That's so clever, Mitch, a sub above to being like, oh, wait, that's just their tagline. And now you're mad at me. Yeah. I take away all that credit I gave you.

What the hell? I love Jersey Mike's, I will say. I will, you know, their app is very good. There is a Jersey Mike's close to where we live. And so it was it has been a covid staple for me. It's just like if I want a quick lunch, it's very easy to order in the app. They're super nice there. Their pickup situation is is great.

And when I was eating meat, I loved the Jersey Mike's Italian sandwich. That is they do a really good Italian. Have you already stopped? I hate you. Yeah. This is a this is a twenty twenty one thing. I'm doing I'm doing all veggies for the podcast. You're saying what? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. OK. Wow.

Congratulations. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we'll see how it works out. Yeah. It's going to be a journey. Are you going to start sleeping? Or I mean, just like eating every day and a half like people are doing. It's like, I don't want to eat every day and a half. And then I skip two days every two weeks or something like that. That's the new thing.

Having an eating disorder. Eating intermittent fasting is is correct. And I that's what it is. Yeah, I've been doing some windows of just eight hours of eating, which I think is like almost normal. But like, yeah, not eating for a day. I feel like just doesn't seem right. But I guess some people think it does something to your body,

gets a kickstarted or whatever. But it seems kind of crazy to me. I listen to the to our buddy, everybody, Stanger and Eugene's podcast, The Dumbbells, which is a great counterweight to the the Doughboys, because it's very fitness oriented. And they talk about there, you know, there's a lot of discussion about, you know, intermittent fasting on that show.

And and at one point they were talking like like having a four hour fasting window, like like eating between like 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. or something like that. And I was just like, I cannot. There's no way I can, you know, God bless you, but there's no way I could possibly function. Yeah, if I had that short of a window to put food in my body. No, I need like two eggs in the morning.

I need like protein in the morning or else I flip out. But I guess if you just kind of get into the rhythm of that, then it's a different thing. I don't think it's an eating disorder. I just think if you want to be shredded, you that's what you the kind of thing that you have to do. It's like getting like vein poppingly shredded. I think that's the that's the thing you have to do.

But that being in that condition is not also like it's a certain way to be, but it's not necessarily the like the healthiest thing to do. See, yeah, but it allows you to dominate. You're dominating. I mean, you're a dominant alpha Chad. And yeah, there's no need to be a doctor. You want to put Dr. Dork in his place? Dr. Dork in good shape.

I don't wear a mask. Yeah. I think people are I think I think I think people are going to be pretty surprised when they see me out of after quarantine. I think they're going to be surprised by how shredded I am. I guess. Yeah, you're I mean, you're like you look great. I was just saying I look great and then laugh quietly into the mic. You just laugh. You just said you look great.

You do look great. You laugh. You laugh. You fucking piece of shit. You do look great. But you're I get the joke that you're making. What the hell, man? I'm saying what the hell a lot lately.

What the hell? Why am I saying what the I've been watching? Maybe a little too much too many simpsons. I've been I've been on a Simpsons watch lately. Why? Maybe that's what it is. Bart's favorite swear might be it. Yeah, Bart Bart busts out the dams and hells a lot. But once again, what the hell, man?

Why'd you laugh when you say I look great? You do look great. You do look great, but you were making a joke about being shredded. What if I do come out of quarantine looking shredded? I would be surprised. Oh, yeah. OK. You start now, you could, you know, quarantine is going to be at least until May, you could get to a point of being shredded.

Wags and I are going to. Wags, we're going to go back on tour, right? At some point, I mean, once the world. Once the world is it permits that you're going to use this. You're going to use covid as an excuse to not go on tour again until we end the show, basically, is my guess. I mean, we'll see. I'm I'm open to more live shows.

You guys have a plan to end the show. I wanted I want to go down to Key West, because I think it will be fun and I want to go to Japan. But Wags, I don't know if he's on board with that. I want to travel not too much, but I'm. But well, again, the world has changed from the world that we used to know. Who knows what it will be like on the other side? I'll probably be chomping at the bit to fucking get out of the five mile radius

in which I've stayed for the past fucking nine months. You know, I probably will want to go someplace. You know who my money who my money is on for getting out of there? More than you is old Natalie probably wants to get out of there. You're God and lock up for you for like a year. Yeah, she's going to have an imprint like just like a hole in the door shaped like her like fucking Roger Abbott. Cool, just printing out of there.

You're the guy in prison who's like cellmates keep hanging them. Yeah, you're the you're the cooler of people. Just something about that guy. So the so I do like the Jersey Mike's app. And this time I went because I'm not eating meat. They only have one vegetarian option on their sandwich menu by default. That's that is the veggie. The veggie which which I got on on Rosemary Parmesan bread.

It's it comes with the fault by with Swiss provolone and green bell peppers. And then if you get it, Mike's way, which we talked about that adds onions, lettuce, tomatoes, red wine, vinegar, olive oil blend, oregano and salt. They call the red wine vinegar and olive oil blend the juice. That's what they offer there. The juice kind of gross, a little gross. Yeah, pretty gross. Yeah. So you get the juice fucking sprayed on to your your Mike's way sandwich.

I specify double cheese, which as we'll learn was a mistake on my part. But, you know, I'll I'll generally get double meat back when I was eating meat. So I got a I got double cheese with a sandwich. And then I added avocado, mayo and banana peppers because I'm something of a heat seeker. I will say that this was a good sandwich. This was a very good sandwich. Wow, the double cheese was too much.

The double cheese was excessive. And I can't tell if you're being sincere here. It seems like you have some hesitation saying it's a it's a it's a good sandwich. It's a good sandwich. I think this is this is sincere. Wait, was it melted cheese or just cheese? No, not melted. No, this was a cold sub cold sandwich. So it was it was Swiss and Provolone were the two cheeses and they were cold.

And and and having to like it became more of a cheese sandwich than anything. So I would recommend if anyone tries the veggie to just get it with their regular amount of cheese. I do wish that they had had a little bit more on it by default. I wish it give me some cucumbers or something. Get just just give me give me some sprouts even. I don't know if Mike's has if Jersey Mike's has sprouts as part of their default

veggie selection, but it would be great to have something else in there beyond just the green bell peppers and the cheese. But with the Mike's way, you know, it was a very solid sandwich. And the Rosemary Parmesan bread is a nice little treat. I usually go wheat to try to do something a little lighter, or I will I will get the sub in a tub, which is their their low carb option, which is pretty good for a sandwich place. Ham and it's like a salad with a bunch of ham in it and exactly.

Yeah, it's it's just it's a salad version of any of their sandwiches. It works pretty decently versus what you can get. Like if it's a lunch order from Jersey Mike's and you're trying not to eat carbs, I'd rather be getting getting it from Jersey Mike's than from Subway in terms of what I'm going to do. You know, I mean, it's a decent one of these as sandwiches go as sandwich places go. But it was I will say overall, it's a good sandwich. I just wish they had more veggie options and I wish on their veggie sandwich

there were more vegetables. Mitch, how about you? Let's get into your sandwich. All right, well, I got nine items from Jersey Mike's. Let's start with let's start with a sandwich. Let's start in sandwich down. Not nine subs to be clear, but right. So so for my sandwiches, I got one of my all time favorites, Wags, which is the Italian.

I got the original the original Italian and you like the sandwiches. You don't care much for the people. Yeah, look, we've talked about this before, canonically, I hate Italians. I don't like Italians. I'm watching Sopranos is making me sick. I'm watching Sopranos, too. Are you? Yeah, it's it's it's it's it's great. The first season is it's it's crazy that it feels old now. I mean, like the first season feels dated, of course, is 20 plus years old,

but it's still so good. But the later seasons don't feel as dated as the first like the first season feels like the nineties and the the second the like by the fifth season. I'm kind of like, wow, it really wasn't that different in 2003 or whatever. Yes, right. Yeah, phone. I mean, pretty much phone wise. Yeah. Yeah. What? What happened? Nine eleven in the first.

Yeah, nine. There you go. Nine eleven changed it. That's what happened. You're saying. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah, everything. The towers are in the opening to the Sopranos. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, I woke up this morning and I got myself a sub.

Why? Nice. All right. If that I'll give you credit for that one, unless that one is also on the Jersey Mike's bag. John, is it on that Jersey Mike's bag? Oh, shit, it is the bag. No, I woke up this morning, got myself a sub. Yeah, here it is. I got I got a medium.

I got the regular size for the original Italian, which is pretty big. It's meat. It's big. Yeah, it's big, which which is good, because when you look at it lengthwise, it's not you don't think that you're getting like a huge sub. It doesn't look it's not very long, but it's just it's substantial. They really they pack it in with the meats and stuff.

It's it's it's a decent sandwich. You're not going to go away unhappy or hungry. So I commend them for that. Why is it do a good job with it? I got dope pickles. Can I say something on this real quick, just on on sizing? I would say if you're very hungry, instead of opting for the large and this is this is not applied for the veggie.

But if you are someone if you are eating meat, if instead of opting for the large, get the regular and just double up your meat, it's cheaper. And I think it's a better composition than just adding that extra, those extra four inches of bread. Wow. Good call. Hey, adding four inches sounds pretty good to me. Uh oh.

I got mine with dill pickles, cherry pepper, relish, banana peppers, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, salt, oregano, red wine, vinegar, olive oil blend. And it was on white bread. It's a regular size one. So I got it Mike's way, basically. Yes. Then I did I was trying to get a smaller version. And this is true on DoorDash.

People won't believe it. And maybe they just don't do a smaller run for for these sandwiches. But I got a bacon, I got a bacon ranch chicken cheesesteak, which is like a weird one I've never had before with tomatoes, lettuce, ranch, bacon, and that was also on white bread. And I had to get a regular size of it. Wouldn't let me get a smaller one than the than the regular. This was OK.

I feel like this was kind of like the loser of the bunch. But I do kind of appreciate that they do chicken cheesesteaks. I think it is a nice alternative. Yeah. And like the sandwich is interesting to me. Like I didn't hate it. It was it was just it was just fine. It was like a little like a kind of like a chicken, a chicken cheesesteak BLT or something.

It was but it was it was decent. And then I got for my mom, my mom wanted a cheesesteak. I told her we're getting Jersey Mike's and she's like, I want a cheesesteak. She said, I haven't had a cheesesteak in forever. So I got our Mike's famous Philly, Philly cheesesteak. And I got the I got the giant size of this, which is huge. The giant size is really, really big. And I got it without onions and peppers

because I wouldn't want to be responsible for mother's tummy issues. So I took off the onions and peppers. Look, was this at her request or you just anticipating? No, it was her mother tummy issues. OK. I know everyone thinks I'm like a Norman Bates now because I've been home. I'm not going to fucking. I'm not going to tie my mom to a fucking chair

and not feed her and become a Norman Bates and wear her wig wise. I'm not going to do any of that shit for God's sakes. OK. Weird, weirdly specific. That's what he does in psycho, doesn't he? I know she doesn't have a wig. So you just wear clothes. You psycho weirdo. Pervert. I'm not going to norm and Bates.

My mom is what I'm saying. But I got it. I got no peppers and onions for her because that's what you requested. They can hurt her stomach. So we just got to straight up as straight as plain as you can get it. A Philly cheesesteak. And I have not dressed up like my mom. She's alive upstairs.

Yes. And she ate it and not like she. She really enjoyed it. She really enjoyed this Philly cheesesteak. And I took a bite of it and I was a believer. I'm a huge fan of the D'Angelo steak and cheese. And I thought that this was was really good. Her complaint and I agree with her is that the bread is just soft. So on a cheesesteak, you almost want like kind of like a crispy roll.

You know what I mean? Like you want something a little bit crispy. Here's the deal. The next day, because this is a giant, there was still half of it left. Put it in the oven at 350. He did that bad boy up. It was fantastic. And the bread crisped up. It was so good. Nice.

As like for a reheated sandwich, just the plain steak and cheese. It was so, so, so good. It was maybe my favorite thing I ate. It was maybe the bite of the night. Wigs, the reheated sandwich, the reheated sandwich. I really, I really liked it. I also ate some of that Philly, the, the, the chicken Philly, the bank and ranch chicken cheesesteak.

And I just had that cold. I ate it cold the next day and that did not work as well. I also got some cool ranch Doritos, which you know are my favorite. And I ate some cool ranch Doritos and I got a stubborn soda, which is the, their, their brand that they have, their root beer. And that was good. It was like a little sweet. It wasn't like the best root beer. And I don't know if anyone thinks it's the best root beer, but it did the job.

It was a nice root beer. I had that type Pepsi with. Let me interrupt you, Mitch. Let me return to sides and beverages in a second. I want to get, I want to get to daily's trio of sandwiches and tackle those. John, you had three big boys. What did you get? Yeah. Well, I got the, I wanted to get something that I've never gotten.

So I got the chicken as well. The chicken, uh, Philly cheesesteak. I've gotten the, I've gotten the regular cheesesteak, but not the chicken. So I wanted to get the chicken and I said, I got to say, well, first of all, let me just say umbrella on my statements. I'm not responsible for my mommy's tummy. And, um, and how her tummy feels. So, um, but anyway, I, I, everyone can handle that pressure. I understand.

So that was the hot sub. Yeah. So I got the, uh, okay. Yeah. The chicken, it tastes like, to me, it was like a hot pocket. It was like coming, it's got like some ingredient or chemical or preservative or something that is present also in hot pockets. So it, it just felt like coming home from high school and being like, all right, I'm going to like stuff this in my face and watch some dumb stuff on TV. It was very good.

Um, yeah, I'd rather just get the regular Philly cheesesteak, I think, um, but the chicken one was pretty good and doesn't necessarily, necessarily seem lighter. I agree with Mitch's mom on, on the, uh, it could be a little bit crispier, just kind of like fluffy ass bread. So it's kind of, uh, which is, which, which, which I'll give them credit for, like, on the Italian, that works really well. Like I like the soft bread on the Italian, but for a hotter sandwich, I wish they, they, they, they have hot sandwiches there,

but they don't toast their bread, right, Nick? That's not an option to ever get toasted, right? It's just the ingredients are hot. Okay. Yeah, they should, they should do it. And then I got the original Italian provolone ham, prosciutini, capicol, salami and pepper in pepperoni. I got it Mike's way. Um, and I say no mayo because I find that mayo kind of generalizes the taste of all sandwiches. Like if you put it on a, on a burger,

it kind of like cuts through and like blends everything and kind of a nice way, but I didn't want, I wanted to taste all the flavors. Anyway. And, uh, and then I got a very, wait, what did I get? Oh, the, uh, turkey and provolone, which is just, I mean, it's pretty much all their cold sandwiches are very similar. So yeah, that was, yeah. But yeah, sandwich overnight, you heated up and all my Thanksgiving food. Yeah. Just, it's better the next day. You get that congealed factor.

Yep. I'm on their app right now. Um, Nick, you, it's gorgeous. It's a great app. To your point about the, the, uh, the sandwiches being pretty similar, you'll find that if you're looking through in particular, all their Italian variants, uh, cause you know, like the Jersey shore favorite, provolone ham and capicolo, the super sub, provolone ham, prosciutini and cap, capicolo, uh, you know, the, uh, the number four, provolone, prosciutini and capicolo, they all, they all just have

like, they're not really diff, they're not different enough to put on different slots in a menu in a way. Yes. Yeah. So it's, it's a little, and, and you know, you'll try a lot of them. And a lot of them to me are pretty lateral. I don't see, I just end up again, just when I was eating meat, I would just go, go for the Italian cause it's just got everything. And I think that's the best combo. The super sub also is pretty good. It's not quite all the way, but it's, you know, it's got a lot of that, uh, a lot of those different ingredients.

If you're craving that, those kinds of, those kinds of flavors, they've, they've got a decent roast beef as well. And, and, and yeah, I think the turkey gets the job done. Yeah. Turkey's good. I'm looking at my turkey right now. I ate the entire, uh, chicken, chicken filly. And then I took like two bites of the other ones. Um, so I'm feeling bad, but I don't, I don't feel great. Um, but I ate them like really right, right up to when we started like recording, I was kind of, uh, chowing them.

So how did I expect to feel? Yeah. It's always a, always a dangerous move. Yeah. Totally. I, I, I agree that you could, but honestly, when, when they do, when you get just like the regular sized Italian, and I've gotten the, I've gotten the club sub a couple of times, which is the turkey and, and ham and bacon, I think. And I've, I've eaten that for lunch and it won't kill me. You know what I mean? It's, it's, it's, it's, it's not something that I'm like, this is like a gut bomb. As we say, Nick, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't destroy. It's not a day destroyer, right? But it, but it can be,

it can definitely be heavy, uh, especially if you're eating like we are for, for, for these giant sandwiches. But overall, I think, I don't think that they're like, I don't think that they come off like greasy. I feel like if I ate a full Subway sub, I can sometimes feel worse than eating Jersey Mike's, even though they're more substantial. Well, I will fully agree with you. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Uh, but, um, but hey, you know, the, the sandwiches make us feel a certain way internally, but how do they make us feel emotionally or intellectually?

Mm-hmm. We will find out when we return. Oh my God. With our fourth ratings right here on Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We are here with John Daly as we re-review Jersey Mike's subs. Uh, but before we get into our ratings, let's just touch on anything we got peripheral to sandwiches. Mitch, you got into this a little bit. You were talking about your, your beverage, uh, last week, last we left you. Look, I got cool ranch Doritos, which you know are my favorite Doritos flavor. Uh, I love, I love Doritos. Uh, and so whatever, great to have with

the sandwich. And then I drank that Diet Pepsi the next day with the Philly Cheesecake. And like I said, I drank the Stubborn soda, which was a root beer, which was fine. It got the job done. I don't know if this is anyone's favorite soda. I honestly wonder what the deal with Stubborn soda is. It was good. It wasn't bad, but it was just whatever. Then I ordered one cookie and two brownies because the brownies looked good. And the cookie did not arrive in the order sadly, but both of the brownies did arrive and that's on the staff. That's yeah, they fucked up. They, they, they fucked up. And you know what? I didn't

say a word about it, Nick, because that's the type of person I am. That's right. I'm such a, I'm a hero in many ways that I did not complain about my missing cookie. But the two, the two brownies were there. And Nick, I said that the bite of the night was maybe that reheated cheesesteak, but I might have to go back. These chocolate chip brownies were so good. Wow. That my mom said that she would maybe swing in there and just get the brownie sometimes. That's amazing. That is remarkable. The brownies are so good. I did you say, did you say mama, you can't, it might trouble your tummy.

And I, you were looking at a mirror wearing, wearing your mom's dress. I said nothing of the sort. I said, mama, you can do whatever you'd like. And I support you. And then I got on the phone and I called up and complained about my missing cookie. No, we never, we never got the cookie. I wish, I wish, I wish I had tried. I just was, I just recently heard this that if like, I was on a, on a guy who, who this guy, Mike, who delivers for Jersey, Uber Eats. I was on with Jersey Mike and I talked about like missing when you miss small stuff from your order. And he's like, he's like, never, like, if you miss

something that's like $3 or under, never say a word about it, which I never, which is not a thing I would do normally anyways, but then I found that out. And I was like, Oh, that's good to know that. Yeah. I think they take that out on drivers, which is a thing I didn't, I didn't realize before. So I never, I never do do that. I don't know if it was a store mix up or the, or whatever it was, but I didn't get the cookie. I would love to try it because the brownies were so good. I was, I was really blown away by the brown. And I think that they're made by the Jersey Mike's company. I don't know if they're made in

store. I highly doubt that they're made in store, but they're really, really fantastic. I have not had the brownie, but Mitch, I did get the cookie. I got the regular chocolate chip cookie, which I will say is, you know, my, my note, it's not a toss in like it's subways. The subway cookies, I feel like you're just kind of there. Quick question on the Jersey Mike's app. Is there an oaky button that you can push or no? Mitch, no, there's not an oaky cookie you can order from Jersey Mike's. So it was a conventional cookie, a non oaky cookie. Oh, okay. It was, it was, uh, I thought it was great. I thought it

was really good. I thought it was ooey gooey, so soft and chewy. I thought it had a great, a great cookie texture to it. Lots of chocolate chunks. I thought it was, did push the oaky button. Yeah. Let me check, let me recheck the app real quick. My only question is who's, who's oaky's on the cookie? Jersey Mike himself. Jersey Mike himself jizzes on chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, accidentally hit extra oaky. Oh, there we go. That's the problem. Be honest with me. Have you ever ordered a cookie and it hasn't come oaky and you call up and complain that there was no oaky on it? That's under $3. If it's under,

that's what the driver was like. If it's under $3, just tell me, I'll come in and make it oaky. Yeah. Look it up, baby. Uh, so I also got the, and, and the other thing I got was ooey gooey, so soft and chewy. You liked it. Was it, was it warm? It was really good. Was it heated up? Um, no, it was like kind of room temp. I mean, it was in plastic and it was room temp, but it was a good cookie. Yeah. It was Mike's temp. Yeah. Wait, so it was, it was gooey. It wasn't hard. It wasn't like a hard cookie. No, it was like a softer cookie. I mean, it wasn't like a, you know, again, I compared it by contrast to the

Subway cookies with the Subway cookies are kind of like, like, you know, hard and crunchy and they've been sitting there a while. This wasn't like that. This is a, this was a good cookie. Um, the, and they also got for my chips from my savory side, I got the Miss Vicki's barbecue chips, which are just a little bit sweet. I thought I liked the Miss Vicki's jalapeno chips a lot. And that's often my go-to, but I've really been on a barbecue chip kick recently and, and they're, they make a good one. I think they have a great chip selection at Jersey Mike's. I'll say that to its credit.

Nice. Yeah, they do. They do good. Like, uh, it seems like they're, they're other products besides the sandwiches. They don't have a lot, but it seems like they do a good job with them. Um, yes, for sure. I was really, I didn't, the first time I ever got Jersey Mike's, our old friend, Selman, uh, Matt Selman, friend of the show who just recently drew us into a Simpsons episode. He was like, I want to go to Jersey Mike's, uh, and I will blame this on him. And he gave me a number for Jersey Mike's. And I, and I, when I worked at the Simpsons and I was the assistant at the Simpsons, I ordered up, I ordered up Jersey

Mike's for everybody. And it was like at the location and like, like in North, not North Hollywood itself, but like up in almost at the Fox lot. And it was like way up near my house, basically. Right. So you're in the Southwest side of LA and you're talking about the, the kind of Northeast part of LA, you're going across the city and that can be an hour in traffic. It was like an hour. Yeah. I was like an hour away. Selman had given me the wrong number. Selman, you fucked up. And so I, so I, so I hated Jersey Mike's

because of that. And then when I ate it, I was like, He's immediately exhausted all the goodwill that he got with you from drawing you into the Simpsons. You fucked up, Selman. Did you say a line on the Simpsons or is that Nick and I were in a different episode has said a line in an episode in the previous Simpsons. But in this Simpsons, we were just drawn in as like a cameo. Like it was just, just us as the Doughboys. Yeah. Just kind of standing there.

He gave me the wrong number. I didn't complain about it. I just, I had to lie. Right. I just was like, there's an issue in the kitchen and I would just, it was an hour away and it was, it was, it was bad news. But, uh, I love Selman. What are you trying to do? Get me erased from the episodes. Got to stay in his favor, man. He can do that. Retroactively blur you out. I got the lays. I can't not get these just, just mouth bleeders. Just like the yellow lays classics. They're so good. Yellow lays classic. One of my favorite dip chips.

Can you really beat that for a dip chip? It's, it's hard to beat, Nick. Pure soul. I think the only issue, the only issue with them as a dip chip is that they can sometimes break. I know. Cause they're kind of thin, but they're, but they're good. They're good chips. People, people under eight lays, people sleep on lays to, as the kids say. Yeah. They're good. But I, but I, I, I never was impressed with Jersey Mike's and I started to order it more and more for lunch, just to get like a regular sized sandwich like that club or the Italian sometimes. Not all the time, but, but

like every couple of weeks, I would probably get it. Right. And I, I really enjoy it. I think they do a good job over there. I concur. Daily, did you get anything beyond the chips? I got the chips. No, I should have got a dessert, but I just got all these very similar subs and then the lays classics. Um, I had a good, um, pretty good experience and they were very, uh, very nicely socially distance in there. It was, um, not on brand in Colorado, but like Colorado, right under the two in kind of near Pasadena.

Um, and it was kind of like an off the beaten path one I wanted to go to nothing, nothing else. I wish I had gotten one of those oaky cookies or oaky brownie. You can also oaky the brownies. You can do, you can oaky anything in Mike's way if you want to. Yeah, any dessert. Yeah, it's really great. I think you more than did your, your due diligence. Yes. John, with the, with all the sandwiches you ordered. So let's get to our final thoughts on Jersey, Mike's. So, uh, just to recap,

we'll each go around, give our closing argument if you will, and then end by giving it a fork score from zero to five. John, you're our guest. We'll begin with you. Um, Jersey, Mike's, I just, I've loved it. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't say I love it, but I choose it a lot. And, um, like it's like Chipotle to me kind of like that, that it's kind of that it's a little bit better than Taco Bell and Jersey, Mike's is a little bit better than sub most sub places, most sub chain places. I'm going to go ahead and give it. Wow. Jersey, Mike's. Wow. I think I might give it four forks. I think it's,

wow. Or like three forks and well, I didn't get dessert, so I can't really stand by that. So I feel like I have to give it, I don't know. No, I'll give it four forks because I, I just want to give Jersey, Mike's a good, I like Jersey, Mike's. I have affection for it. It's good. They do a good job. Well, yeah, John, I think that's a great score personally. I think you, I think great score and, um, thanks. I, uh, I, I concur quite a bit. I, I, am I going to be hand holding on this? This is a possibility. I, I kind of didn't see what the big deal was with Jersey, Mike's and it's time for me to face the music

wigs. This is maybe as far as like national chains that are, that on the subway level that you, that are, that are everywhere. And at least in my experience, everywhere is just Boston in LA, but still I can get this in Quincy and I can get this in LA and that to me is, is that, that, that, that's the test to me. And I think it's one of the best ones that there is. I think it's really, really good. I mean, it is that Italian sandwich. I told you, wise, you were looking for Italian sandwiches recently. And what did I say to you? This was, this to be clear, this was in 2020 back when I was eating meat, which

I don't do anymore. Oh God, but, but yes. What did I say? I said, you, it's hard to beat that Jersey, Mike's Italian sub. Yeah, we were, I watch out for my mommy's tummy. Watch those banana peppers. My mommy's tummy. My mom was chowing down this thing. She got, I gave her a bite and I got fucking pissed. Wow. She took too many, one too many bites wigs, but I told you this Italian sub is in LA, you know, like around here, there's local spots. I can get a local Italian sub, whatever. People are sick of hearing me say that, but in LA, if you're not going to get into Godmother down at Bay cities, order

out, order yourself up of Jersey, Mike's Italian sub. It's delicious. Yeah. Yeah. It's really fantastic. So I am going four forks as well, but Wow. My score, it's, I'm having mine. Okay. It's four, uh, four. Okay. Forks. Oh man. That's vile. So you're not even getting a sweet treat part. Okay. Fork. Yeah. You're just forking the come. Also the, like the worst utensil to eat come with. Yeah, really clumsy. There's no knives more. Yeah. Knife is, knife works better. Yeah. Licking come off a knife. I've done it. Who hasn't done that?

It's part of childhood, right? Four forks. Bookified. That's my score. Oh my God. Very good scores from both of you. Um, so, you know, we're going heavy on the L, the local LA geography this episode. I'll contribute like you, Mitch, with your Selman order, I had an incident where I was using the Jersey, Mike's app and I was doing a little, a little, you know, socially distanced fitness at the park and I was like, I'll get my Jersey Mike's afterwards. So I just hopped on the app, not realizing that instead of defaulting to my home location, it defaulted to the most, uh, proximal

location. And so I went to the, my usual Jersey Mike's where they're super friendly. They're, they're so nice and, uh, they, they run a great, they, they run a tight ship. I went in there to pick up my order. They know me. I'm a regular and they were like, they were like, are you sure it's this one? Are you sure it's not the, I'm at the, the one on Venice Boulevard. They're like, are you sure it's not the Sepulveda location? And I checked the app and they were right. So I went over to the other location, uh, picked up my sandwich and they were super nice there. I, I've, what was that? Butchered.

I butchered it. So I, so I went and, uh, and, and I picked it up from there. Super nice there. Again, a great pickup system. I feel like throughout the time I've been going to Jersey Mike's, the service has always been stellar. And I think their product is good from a, from a veggie vegetarian perspective or actually how about just from someone with any sort of dietary restrictions from that perspective, they have the sub and a tub. They have a good veggie sandwich. I wish they had more options, but you know, if you're eating low carbs, they got the sub and the tub. If you're eating vegetarian, they got the veggie sandwich.

If you're eating gluten free, they got a gluten free option. They kind of have this covered as much as a sandwich focus place can. And, and I, I think it's a great option from that regard. I'm going to not be in the handholding club cause I'm going to go a little higher. Wow. Welcome to the golden plate club, Jersey Mike's. I'm going four and a half forks. Wow. Four forks, two tines, and the two tines are, are oaky.

So damn conventional forks, two, two oaky tines, oaky tines. Wow. So there we go. Well deserved. Well deserved. I hate having a tally, I haven't an Italian in the golden plate club wise, but this is, this is good. I'm going to add, can I add oaky to my four forks? Yes. Yeah, you can. Four forks and, and, and I, and, uh, yeah, it's oaky forks.

For oaky forks. You know what, I'll make all my forks oaky, four and a half forks. Okay. We're in the oaky club. So, uh, uh, so that's, that, that was our review of Jersey Mike's. By the way, I don't know if when we, we reviewed Jersey Mike's previously with dude, Charver, I don't know if it ended up in the golden plate club or not. But if it wasn't, it's, it's in.

And if it was, if it was, then it retains its place in the golden plate club. I don't know if it is either. I have no idea about it not being in the golden play club, but it might depend on like what time of year it is, whether you're in the mood for, for, but Jersey Mike's is like, yeah, it's autumn. So it's like so lovely to get a big sub. If it, if it isn't, can we, can we blame it on Drew? Uh, we can just easily blame it on Tarver.

All right. Tarver, one of the nice people on the summer is a good time for subs too. But yeah, let's sprint drink, blame it on Drew. Oh, here we go. I, you know what? It was not in the golden plate club. Wow. And in fact, Drew Tarver gave it four forks and Jersey Mitch, as I

called myself then, uh, which I guess is, I don't even remember the podcast for whatever reason. Yeah. What was that? I have no idea. Jersey Mitch, he had a Jersey Mitch bit and you were Nick, the God burger, Weiger, uh, and, and we get, we each came on earth. I, that's, that is fiction to me.

I don't remember any of that. Um, Christ, you'll never forget the oaky episode though. We, Nick, we each gave it 3.5 forks. Wow. We, I think we maybe went a little low or maybe they've, they've up their game because this was a, this was a wonderful experience. I really, really enjoyed my sandwich. And also here, do you remember your beef with it?

No. Yeah. I will say that the roast spoon man is in here. Uh-huh. Um, oh, and you know what? I got a cookie and saved it and shared it with Nick and Drew live on the podcast. That doesn't seem like me, but the, uh, the roast spoon man was less fuckable fryer tuck.

Ooh, it's pretty good. Less fuckable fryer tuck. What, what did you, what resource did you just? Consult. This is, uh, Doughboys wiki. The dough, that's right. There's a Doughboys wikipedia. This is a Doughboys wikipedia.

Yes. Wow. Some maniac dedicates their life to not maniac. That's great. Genius. No, it's, it's not, it's very nice. I just confusing. It's a little oaky.

It's a little oaky. You don't want to meet that guy. Wags, here's a crazy thing in your intro. You talk about the Sopranos. Wow. All right. Look, this is just embarrassing. We don't remember anything.

That's incredible. When did we record this episode? Two months ago. Yeah. Let's do a lot of these. Wait a minute. It says here in the intro, I said, woke up this morning, got myself a sub. Wait, the Sopranos might come to mind if you're buying a sub called the God, like

if you're buying Italian, like Capacol, Brazile, like that's all they talk about. Oh yeah. I forgot Nick and I are huge hacks that definitely made that joke. And since we're hacks, we're still making the joke to this day. We're fucking losers. Anyways, that was our review of Jersey Mike's. That's right. Wait, don't you don't do the fucking Segway?

Why not? Stop trying to be the captain. I'm the captain now. You are not the captain now. It's time for a segment. Mitch and I are going to sacrifice some food stuffs for the remainder of the year. It's time for my snack refice. But then we can't eat it for months.

This has years to our lives. My snack refice. I just want to eat some snacks again. Wow. Very good. Wow. We might need you to recap those lyrics, the cure drop style. OK, Cheetos or Cheez-Its, choose one will eliminate a snack for fun.

Then we can't eat it for months. This adds years to our lives, our snack or my snack refice. Very good. And then I just want to eat some snacks again. I liked it. You know what? Listen to Creed for a minute. Oh, no.

Oh, boy. Everyone makes fun of Creed and that song's fine. It's fine. It's a fine song. It's my sacrifice. Can you take me higher? Yes. And those are two.

I get that they're like they're not a cool band. But you know what? I know that and I know that I also make fun of everyone who likes some Star Wars movies. But I just don't get it when people make fun of certain bands. Who cares? Who cares about? They're pretty muscular. You know, they are muscular.

I mean, like I don't think. And they're like I know that they're like a there's a religious element, but it's just a funny that they're a punching. Because even I mean, like most bands are not great, right? And they just have one or two songs that people like. And I think that's those two songs are fine, right? I think those songs are so ubiquitous that it came like, oh my God, how many times can I hear, can you take me higher?

Yeah, that's true. Yes. Yeah, we're kind of oversaturated. And I think there's maybe I'm wondering if you personally mentioned that you're maybe a little defensive about this because of your own fandom for the often maligned Dave Matthews band. Yes, that's really part of it. DMB kind of a punchline, but they're a good band.

Look, for so long, just so many snarky comedy kids in the UCB world. It's true. Would be like, don't like Dave Matthews. Yeah. And yeah, they would they would make fun of it. But then they'd also be like, I loved Blink 182. And I'm like, that's just as dorky to me as Dave Matthews band is totally. No, it's not.

It's less dorky than David. It's a little less dorky. Blink 182 is a little bit is definitely dorky. But I feel like I do feel like the Dave Matthews band. But Dave Matthews, like every time I see him interviewed, I'm just like, man, he seems like the best. Like he's a great, he seems like a great guy. I mean, yeah, just like he is a great guy.

And then there's always the story about he dumped the shit off the bridge. Who cares? It wasn't him who did it. It wasn't him. Yeah, that was the driver was the band volunteered to offer up their shit as DNA evidence so they could see if it was actually their tour bus or not. Damn, it wasn't them. It was the driver. The driver was being a misfit.

And anyway, let's get into my sacrifice to get the shit dumped on me. Mitch, let's get into my snack or the categories that I have written down here. Well, you know, I'll let you drive it. We got three different categories here. Yes. And and John, we're going to say three different snacks from this category. You don't have to. You don't have to join Nick and I in this. I will sacrifice a snack.

Wow. Wow. Just to for the hell of it. And why not? I will. Well, we got we got three different categories. We got Peanuts, Candies, Nick. Mm hmm. We got chips.

And we got sodas. Do you want a little bit more specific than the other two? Yes. Well, do you want to say you want to say the more specific categories? Go for it. No, I thought we got I thought we'd we nailed this down. I just wanted to make sure that this is what I have. What I have is is the category one Peanut based candy bars.

Yes. Category two Coca Cola varietals. That's right. And category three Doritos flavors. That's correct. Yes. This sucks. I mean, I don't want to give up any of these. It's going to be bad.

But we'll we'll see what's going to be what's what the sacrificial lamb is for each category. Let's begin with Peanut based candy bars. What are our candidates? The three candidates to be sacrificed. Candy dates, if you will. The three candy dates to be sacrificed. Yes. One, Snickers.

Wow. Two. Reese's peanut butter cups. Oh, that's tough. Yeah. Yeah. Already tough. It's hard already. But hold on, John, there's a third one and it doesn't get easier.

Three. Peanut M&Ms. Oh, we have to sacrifice one of these and not eat them for the rest of the year. Wags, this is not fun for us at all. Why did we do this? Who knows? And this is the kind of one where like you'll you'll you'll you'll say like, I find peanut M&Ms and then all of a sudden, you know,

movie theaters reopen in July and you can't have your favorite concession. Or you're like, you know, you know what? Fine, I don't eat Reese's peanut butter cups all that often, but then Halloween comes around and you can't have one of those Reese's pumpkins. It's just it's it's tough. But but, John, let's start with you. A gut reaction or your your initial thoughts, Snickers, peanut M&Ms and the Reese's cups.

Like giving up Snickers for me is no big deal. I don't I'm not like a totally into Snickers like I won't get a Snickers a lot. I would rather get a take five than a Snickers. So I usually choose to choose that. But I do eat a lot of Reese's cups. And that's a very that is something I eat. The other peanut butter thing I eat is those pretzels with like dehydrated peanut butter in the middle of them.

And I love and I was a good honey on them in my house, like a slaw. Eat them over my sink. That sounds great. Yeah, it's like a 2 a.m. Like food whole thing. But yeah, I look, I'll give up Reese's cups. I think it would be good for my body because I do. I eat them more than any other. You really have to genuinely something I get a lot,

like probably about, you know, 20 to 30 times a year or so. Like, yeah. John, my mouth was a game. You sacrifice your favorite unbelievable. It'll be good. And honestly, weirdly, a friend of mine, my friend, Jason, got addicted to making. He got so into peanut butter and chocolate combos

that he started cooking and making his own. And so like I ate those like kind of like at his house for a while and was just like, well, I got really into and that got me even deeper into Reese's cups. So it would actually be a really amazing sacrifice for me to sacrifice that. That's wild. Also, rest, Nick, we should talk about the punishment. If you break the sacrifice, is it right? It is oaky.

You have to suck friend of the podcast. You have to suck him off. Matt Koal, he's agreed to it. Yeah, I know, Matt. Yeah. OK. Yeah, he's cool with it. And Matt, you're married. That's fucking bullshit. That's fucking sick, man.

You're married. You're married, man. That's sick. And his wife might have a secret foul. And his wife might be Polly. That's true. That's true. You don't want to make any assumptions. Maybe it's fine. Yeah. If you break your sacrifice, you're going to suck off Koalic.

Yes. And you know, he's going to be rubbing it in your face as you're going down on him the whole time. But maybe that's what you're into, right, Nick? Maybe. It might be fine. So I will say this. We should say this. If we do break it for real, you owe me five dollars.

OK, I'll give you five dollars. And if you break it, you owe five dollars to Peter. Oh, my God. You must make a donation in my name. Wow. All right. All right, fair enough. Calm down, Mitch, not P-I-T-A, Peter. I know you were excited for a second.

It's exciting to make a donation to Peter. Yeah. An organization you support. So I got the of the peanut-based candy bars. I do like Snickers and I do like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Ben, I like all three of them. And peanut M&Ms were a fixture in my home. My child at home, that was just like a snack,

like a candy dish snack my parents would have. And I love just munching on those. But I think, you know what? I'm going with daily. My favorite of the bunch, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'm not going to have them. Why not? Why not? Why not deprive myself of these and see what happens? All Snickers are fine.

And peanut M&Ms are fine. Reese's Cups, you're out of the picture. Wow. Well, my question is, if I give up Snickers, does that mean Snickers ice cream bars too? I think so. Oh, great question. I think so, yeah.

That's a big loss because you can get your fix then. It's even better. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. All right. Well, that changes everything because honestly, in that case, I'd probably give up the peanut M&Ms. Hold on, but I like truly can't give up peanut M&Ms for the fact that if the movies come back, I'm going to want to eat peanut M&Ms.

But that being said, I don't think theaters will come back. Movie theaters were basically stabbed in the back today by Warner Brothers. So I guess I'm going to have to sacrifice peanut M&Ms, Wags. Wow. Peanut M&Ms out of the picture for Mike Mitchell. Let's move on to Coke for idols.

No, fuck, I can't give up peanut M&Ms. I'm giving up Snickers and Snickers ice cream bars. That sucks, though. Wow. That's that's tricky. But honestly, probably calorically, that's that's the best bet to give up. I think those are pretty, pretty unhealthy. Let's get into Cokes.

So what do we have, Mitch? We have Coke as the first option. Diet Coke as the second option. And the final option, Nick, Cherry Coke. Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, which are you going to sacrifice? This is a snap decision for me. This is easy. Diet Coke's out of the picture because because I drink so little

just actual soda that when I want it, I want a straight up like full calorie cola because otherwise because what am I doing? I will have plain sparkling water or flat water or iced tea. When I'm actually going to have a soda on that rare occasion, I'll give me a Coke, give me a cherry Coke. But Diet Coke, I can live without it. I live without it now. What do you think, Mitch?

This is tricky for me, too, because it's another thing of if theaters come back. The first thing I want is a big cherry Coke at the movie theater. Sure. But I love just a nice Coca Cola, such a great treat. Sometimes I love a Coke and I still drink Diet Coke too often that I just can't get rid of it. So I have to get rid of arguably my favorite one in a way. I have to I have to sacrifice cherry Coke.

It sucks. Wow. I know. Well, you know what? I think you'll still get that experience. You'll get like 80 to 90 percent of the pleasure if a movie movies do come back of getting just a regular Coke and sitting with it in the theater. That's true. And some buttery popcorn. That would be great. Yeah. John, what do you think?

Well, I I agree in that I love cherry Coke at the movie theater with ice. Otherwise, I really don't like it. But cherry Coke with ice like movie theater ice is so good. I can't give up Diet Coke because it's like acting juice. It's like it makes you good at acting. And so you can't give it up. But maybe I'll give up Coke. How about I I'll give up Coke because I drink that more than I think

like Diet Coke is is like I really like it. It's it's important to my like it really gives you like true. Once the coffee is done, you get that Diet Coke and you really you really feel like a person again. So I think that it would be tough to give that up. So I'm I got to go with regular Coke, which I. Yeah, I really like Mexican Coke. So I do have that like a few times a year. So I'll I'll give that one up.

Snack fights it. Snack reficed. Wow. Wow. Coke heavy snack reficed for John Daly. Let's get to the third and final category. Doritos flavors. Mm hmm. Nick, the Doritos flavors are. Nacho cheese or Nacho cheese here. Mm hmm.

My favorite cool ranch or cooler ranch. Yes. And then finally, the final one is all other Dorito brands. Wow. So encompassing everything else. Mitch, you are let's have you start for this one. This to me is too easy. And I think that we should make it something harder than all other Dorito brands, because my snack refices all other Dorito brands.

I'll stay with. I'll stay with Nacho cheese here and I'll stay with cool ranch. And I'll be very happy. That's all I need. Wow. That's probably all you're you'll encounter, too. I mean, yeah. Well, how would you make it more? So how would you up the difficulty, then, Mitch?

Is it Sophie's choice? Is it either or Nacho cheese or cool ranch or all Lay's chips instead of instead of all other Doritos chips? I think that's still. Wait, all Lay's chips. So we're talking Fritos, Cheetos. That's right. All Lay's brand chips. That makes it tough.

That does make it tough. But then if you do that, you can do you can still do Nacho cheese or cool ranch Doritos. Let me quickly make the case for all other Doritos flavors. You got your Flamin' Hot and that counts for a lot. If you're something of a heat seeker like I am, you get your Flamin' Hot and you get your spicy Nacho and your sweet, spicy chili, even your pop and jalapeno, if you want to go that direction.

So if you you're craving some heat from your chips, you got to have all other other flavors, the Tapatio ones they have. Yeah. Also, the straight up regular Doritos, like the just the tortilla chip flavors are a very good tortilla chip. You don't encounter them often, but that was the first Doritos I had the just like straight up regular tortilla chip and back in nineteen fucking seventy three.

You ate Doritos before Nacho cheese. It did not predate Nacho cheese, but it did predate cool ranch. Wow. So this was this was a pre cool ranch era where they were just regular Doritos. Those are good. So I will say. As much as I like cool ranch, fuck, but I but not but I do like cool ranch. You know what? I'm going to give up Nacho cheese.

Wow. My favorite Dorito flavor. So you so just to be clear. Yeah, you're you're giving up the Doritos Locos Taco as well. Shit. Yes, I am. Wow. Yes, I guess I am. Oh, you're vegetarian anyways, asshole. Yeah, but I can get it with beans in it.

Oh, yeah. You can suck you can sub beans for for for meat at Taco Bell. I'm going to say cool ranch and then, you know, the flaming hot Nacho will carry me through the absence of the traditional Nacho flavor. John Daly, Nacho cheese, cool ranch, all other Doritos. I can knock out. I'm not a you know, I just don't eat Doritos.

I just I'm not a Doritos guy. I'll eat some and maybe at a party or like a Super Bowl kind of thing. Like, but I just don't they're not my chip of choice. I'll do a lot of like chips and salsa. But but I'll probably give up. Cool ranch because wow, those are the only ones I like. That's the only real sacrifice because in that opens the field to trying because I would you just said there's Tapatio Doritos.

I didn't know that. So I would like to try that. So that kind of opens like, you know, flaming hot. I mean, I don't know. That's probably bad for mommy's tummy. But I'll but it'll be fun to have the option to try an exotic brand. So yeah, that's my yeah, I'll give up a cool ranch. That John Daly really embodying the true spirit of my snack.

You played the game better than Weigar and I did. Yeah, really impressive sacrifice. Yeah, it is a true snack. We've all made we've all made sacrifices today. And maybe we're better for it, Nick. Let's hope so. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback.

And hey, we have a voicemail today. Let's go ahead and listen to this. Hey, guys, I'm just wondering what your go to moving meal is. You just finished unpacking all your shit. What are you going to eat? Thanks, love the show. I'm Joseph, by the way. Thanks for the question, Joseph.

What was that sound at the end? A dog. I don't know. Was it a dog or a car horn? A car horn. Should we listen again? Did he step off a stool to hang himself at the end? Kicked it out. Hey, guys, I'm just wondering what your go to moving meal is.

You just finished unpacking all your shit. What are you going to eat? Thanks, love the show. I'm Joseph, by the way. Whoa, I think it was a Giuliani style fart. Dry ass fart. No, it'd be great if that was his last act. Just like swinging in his garage right now.

His last words were, I'm Joseph, by the way. Joseph, I hope you're still with us. Yes. This, my answer is an easy one, Wags. I've loaded all the plates in, everything I moved in. Still got stuff in boxes. I'm bringing some more boxes into the house because I'm ordering up some pizzas, Wags.

Easy. Oh, that's great. Easy. You don't have to use the new plates that you just packed away or if they're in a box, you don't have to get them. You just eat right out of the fucking pizza box. It's a pizza. Easy. I mean, I use that so many things that I get.

I get pizza for so much shit. But moving in, that's another one. Terrific, simple answer. I one I've never thought of. But yeah, pizza for moving in. That's that's perfect. What a natural fit. Plus, you get to just find the local pizza place.

That's true new apartment. And then how about you? Man, if it sucks and you're going to move again, it sucks. That's a bummer. Yeah, I think kind of similar. But I think just local anything, like you see the thing. You see you're like in a new place and you're like, oh, let's try this. We might as well try to start trying restaurants now.

And then you try some some place. So local something, but pizza works, definitely. But anything like you try some some place and, you know, maybe you think it's really good. And then a couple of months later, you're like, what are you thinking? These are the really good restaurants. And then you just all over the food on the food. And then you eat it.

It's just covered food. I don't know. No, but I think, yeah, pizza's good. I think pizza's a good. Yeah, it's a great suggestion. I like going someplace local as well. And that actually reminds me of the times I've done moves that are just like moves I feel like always it's a longer day than you anticipated.

And at the end of it, it's just you know, I found myself at a couple times after moving is just go to like an all night deli or diner. Just a place that's open that's near the new place that's that's open. You kind of get out of the place you just moved into for a little bit. That's maybe you still got boxes abound and you just kind of like, you know, you get to decompress a little bit. And that's a fun experience. And also if it's someplace local, you're like, hey, this diner I can walk to.

This is right by our apartment and it's open all night. A diner is good. Diners good. Also, let me say this, in recent years, I've gotten into just getting some fucking like a like a cheap ass bottle of champagne from the liquor store, the grocery store for an event like this. It makes it feel like an occasion and you don't have to break the bank. You don't have to buy the fucking, you know, $100 bottle of Verve

Clico or whatever the fuck. You can just buy like a $9 bottle of champagne because I don't know. My palate doesn't know the difference. I get to certain good champagne from bad. I just know it's bubbly wine. So yeah, just get some fucking cheap champagne or some cheaper a seco and then makes it feel like a party. We're going to get you up to the French Laundry.

No, wait, hold on. Are you saying just drink champagne, don't have anything to eat? No, I'm saying have that in addition to whatever you eat. Like you're going to order some pizza, get yourself a little champagne from 7-Eleven as well and treat yourself, make it a little party or sparkling cider if you don't drink alcohol, but something bubbly. It's fun. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants and

Joseph, I hope you're okay. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doughboyspodcasts at gmail.com or leave us a voice mail at 830 go dough. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys double or weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Doughboys. John Daly, the album, which I will try not to butcher again.

Lest I draw the dreaded butcher, a butcher drop. Butchered. God damn it. That was because of what you just said. Not because of how it is. It's because they said butchered instead of butchered. Abracadabra, Alaphornia. Butchered. God damn it. No, that was perfect. Perfect.

It's it's it's streaming available where everyone can wherever anyone can find music. Tell everyone about it and anything else you would like to plug. It's my seven inch record is out on Northern Spy at record stores near you. And it is my legendary chili pepper song from 2014 Super Bowl when they played the Super Bowl and I pranked the world with with that song.

And then my Lil Zan diss song, which I put out in 2018 on the B side, which is very funny too. Both are remasters and very beautiful and it will be available. Yeah. So I said it was streaming now, but it's a it's a it's a physical record. It's a seven. It's a record. Yeah, it's a seven inch record and then I'll be putting out an LP next next fall of all original songs. Hell, yeah. And yeah, but this is a it'll be back.

I think it is sold out currently, which is cool. And but it'll be back next year, the seven inch to get. Maybe I shouldn't say that. I don't know. I don't know what the proper thing to do is, but it's nice that people bought it and then we'll we'll do more. It'll be great. Yeah, I guess I assume if you I assume if people check out your social media, they can find more info about it. By the way, you said next year, meaning this year, 2021.

Twenty twenty one. Yes. And at John Daly and at John Daly Graham, the best places. Awesome. Check me out. Yeah, check that out. By the way, the abracadabra, Alaphornia prank you did. It was one of the god damn. It was one of the funniest things ever. And it was so convincing. Like I know so many people who are fooled thinking it was a real chili chili pepper.

So yeah, it was great. That's great. Really, really, really great. So so check that out. The album, Abracadabra, Alaphornia. We are going to hear the title track to play us out. And all next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating. Butchered. Burning down the four or five.

Man, I barely feel alive. Taking the exit for the 10. She told me she was my friend. I'm a bad man. A gem from here to Alabama. I'm playing a band called the Alabama Gemmas. I'm sitting by a lemon. Take a picture with the camera.

I hope we don't get tricked by the Alabama Scammer. Bing bong, bong, bong, bong, burbank. G, g, g, g, g, g, they're going to No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, prang, I'm doing it again. I did a good job. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you took.

What you think? I think it is a neighborhood where I raise my kids. Aeroplane to LAX. Then I met up with ladies that. I think I'm a Bimmer Slammer with your sexy ass grimmer. The Hulk turned green when the rays get gamma. I've been troubled with your grimmer

because I ate up all the yammer. If you want to get freesia, you got to get grimmer. Bing bong, bong, bong, bong, burbank. G, g, g, g, g, g, g, they're going to Bing bong, bong, bong, bong, burbank. G, g, g, g, g, got the good job. I live for you. You're the sexiest way to sex now, yeah.

She jammed my butt with a big stick. And the Mercedes-Benz on top of my dick. She jammed my butt with a big stick. And the Mercedes-Benz on top of my dick. She jammed my butt with a pepper man. She jammed my butt with a pepper man. She jammed my butt with a pepper man. She jammed my butt with a pepper man.

Bing bong, bong, bong, burbank. G, g, g, g, g, g, he's going to Bing bong, bong, bong, burbank. B, g, g, g, b, top of the bag. Here is a Taki day, there is much better there. T, g, g, g, b, I'd be a wet. Chubby Cat, that's going to be dope. T, g, g, g, b, T, g, b, T, g, b, t, g, b, t, g, b, t, g, b,

T, g, g, g, g, b, t, g, b, t, g, b, t, g, b, t, g, b, T, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g. St. John. That was a headgum podcast.