Doughboys - Jimmy John's 2 with Mary Sohn
Episode Date: May 16, 2024Mary Sohn (@maroldswan, Hey Randy) joins the 'boys to talk blood, hair treatments, and working at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. before a review of Jimmy John's.Watch this episode at youtube.com/dough...boysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.comAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/432.Ayn_Randhttps://www.roarkcapital.com/namehttps://www.restaurantbusinessonline.com/power-20-2018/roark-capitalhttps://www.nrn.com/mergers-acquisitions/roark-capital-acquires-majority-stake-jimmy-john-shttps://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ayn-rand-social-security/https://www.pourosry.com/about-us/history/index.htmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Freedom now.
To ask nothing.
To expect nothing.
To depend on nothing.
This insipid drivel comes from The Fountainhead, an interminable tome that
tragically became one of the most influential books of the 20th century. Written by founder
of Objectivism, Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead is so revered among hardcore libertarians
that its protagonist, Howard Rourke, is the namesake of Rourke Capital, an Atlanta private
equity firm founded in 2001. Today, Rourke Capital owns a vast swath of chain
restaurants including Arby's, Buffalo Wild Wings, Carl's Jr. Hardee's, Dunkin',
Sonic Drive-In, and a sandwich chain founded in 1983 in Charleston, Illinois by then 19-year-old
J.J. Liotto. At its launch, the shop offered four sandwiches of store-bought deli meats
on home-baked bread and quickly innovated the then novelty of sandwich delivery, becoming a favorite of Illinoisans. The brand began
franchising in 1994 and then grew exponentially with 100 stores in 2001,
500 stores in 2007, and 1,000 stores in 2010. In 2016, Rorke swallowed the company
whole like a giant naboo sea creature and the sandwichery has only become a
bigger fish today with over 2,700 franchises worldwide.
Later in life, her health failing and her income dwindling, self-righteousness, selfishness
profit Ayn Rand applied for Social Security and Medicare under an assumed name, relying
on socialism to sustain herself in her twilight years.
Today, cash-engorged objectivist organizations have gamed SEO so this factual reality is
smothered by skeptical links, but it's true.
Ayn Rand died a ward of her hated welfare state.
As for the sandwich chain, it lives and thrives under its randroid corporate stewardship,
and its perpetually sunburned founder is freed a big game hunt to his heart's content.
Because for all the mockery that's been heaped upon its morally bankrupt philosophy, Objectivists
ultimately assumed power in the Western world, and we all live in their libertarian version of freedom.
Where we can ask for nothing, expect nothing, and depend on nothing.
Except the ready availability of freaky fast subs. This week on Doughboys, we return to Jimmy John's. ["Doughboyz Theme Song"]
Come on!
Go, it's the doughboyz!
Double hot doughboyz!
Yes!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast
about chain restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Goober Eats.
Goober Eats?
The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.
So I'm just a goober?
Goober Eats.
I'm just a goober?
Goober Eats with a G in front of it.
I said to- Is that like,
isn't, is it, is it, is it Goober Pile?
Is that what it is?
Gomer Pile.
Oh, it's Gomer.
Yeah, Gomer Pile. It's not Goober Pile. Yeah, no, it's not Goober Pile? Is that what it is? Gomer Pile. Oh, it's Gomer. Yeah, Gomer Pile.
It's not Goober Pile.
Yeah, no, it's not Goober Pile.
Jemmy came over here to keep me company
after your harsh roast.
I think she realized the show started.
Yeah.
She's like the energy in this room just got down.
You got talent, baby.
Jemmy the dog snuggling next to Mitch.
Her usual resting place.
She loves it over there.
Yes. Her usual spot resting place.
Sounds weird. Um...
All right, sorry.
I mean, like a tomb.
I, I, um, I have had...
We were talking about Abercrombie.
Yeah, that's right.
Before, now I have the LFL song stuck in my head,
which is very annoying.
Well, we were talking about how we like girls
who wear Abercrombie and French.
That's what came up.
Yeah.
I sent in a roast a while back that was used in Burger King
4, and Mitch accused me of being Italian.
And he was kind of right.
I do have an Italian first and last name.
However, I am adopted and I'm Latin American.
You goober. Jokes aside, I love you all very much. Eat, however, I am adopted and I'm Latin American. You goober.
Jokes aside, I love you all very much.
Eat, drink, and be merry.
How about that? Anthony P.
Roastedbirdfuck.com.
I'm waving bye to Amelia. She's just left.
That's what that wave was.
Podcast starts, Amelia's out of here.
I'm just sticking around for this shit.
I mean, the Italian doesn't have to be in your blood.
It could just infect you by way of a...
Infected?
Maybe infected is the wrong word.
I love Italian people. I grew up with them.
Come on now. I love all people.
I knew that one day it would come where I was saying,
I love all people.
Sorry for accusing you of being Italian. I knew that one day it would come where I was saying, I love all people. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We're talking a chain today that uses Italian,
they do mafia ads.
Yeah, okay, yeah, so the Brad Garrett ads. Jimmy John's, yeah, yeah.
Jimmy's John's.
Yeah, yeah.
Jimmy's John's, yeah, Jimmy John's.
Actually, I like those ads.
We'll talk about them with our guests.
Yeah, we won't get into it yet.
What's going on, Wikes?
How you doing?
I'm doing okay.
I think I need to stop shaving.
I've just killed the-
I noticed a giant bandage on your neck.
Yeah, well, I took it off for the record,
but I'm more of a step leading.
Oh, it's off. OK.
But just because I'm on camera.
But I'm like, oh, I'm bad at it.
It's like hard, right?
I don't know.
Yeah.
You've been bearded for so long that maybe you've.
I mean, don't you find it hard?
You're 40 years old.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, I know.
It's hard.
I'm always cutting, every time I shave, I cut myself.
Do you really?
Yeah.
You're gonna use some better razor, my man.
I got the fucking Mach 3.
Mach 3 is old, isn't it?
You're gonna get like a Mach 5.
Aren't these airplanes?
They're up to five now?
They're up to five.
I don't use Gillette after that one commercial.
Remember if people got mad about the one commercial
a long time ago?
I don't.
I'm not, I'm not.
It's like a joke about me being a piece of shit
and no one even remembers the reference.
No.
There was like a Gillette ad that was like,
treat people the same and people were like,
we hate Gillette.
We hate Gillette.
We hate Gillette.
We hate Gillette.
Massachusetts company, I do think that they like
were affected by it.
Yeah.
Like I think their stock went down.
I think it was bad.
But they have like a mock, it's over a mock three.
How old is your mock three?
I don't, I've had the thing forever, but I get replacement cartridges at Costco.
Like I swap them out.
Like it should be, right?
It should work.
I think I just have a naturally sensitive skin.
And I think what I should maybe do.
I'm worried.
Did you get bit by a Dracula
and you're just covering it up as a razor cut?
Mitch, no, of course not.
It's ridiculous.
I saw on your sandwich today,
it said no garlic in capitals.
Yeah, I just didn't want any garlic.
I mean, I didn't want my breath to smell bad.
All right.
Yeah.
Can we get some sun shades in here?
They're actually coming today.
Wow.
Wow.
The sunshades.
So we finished the record Tuesday, two days ago.
Yeah, I mean, this episode's coming out in the future.
It doesn't matter.
I'm just saying we finished the record two days ago.
And I don't know if you've noticed our guest.
There's a TV over there.
That's right.
And they were playing bits of other podcasts
and Weiger thought I was getting too distracted.
And afterwards he asked Anya, he's like,
can we get Shades?
And I, he's like, the TV is distracting.
You're getting the order of operations wrong.
I'd asked for Shades months ago.
That's been in the works.
The TV being on that you could see through the guy
is directly in your eyeline and that you were looking at
and commenting on.
So it was distracting you.
I can pay attention to you too.
I can do both.
You're looking over me.
You're looking over my head to watch Pete Holmes on the TV.
You said, you said, you said, Pete Holmes is not
a part of this podcast network.
Get it right. Yet. He's not a part of this podcast network.
Get it right.
Yet.
He's not a member of HeadGum.
I'm just saying.
And so you said, Ani, can we turn the TV off during records?
And I said, no, that request doesn't come from me.
I don't want that to happen.
It comes from me because it affects me indirectly.
No, it doesn't.
I'm not going to look at it.
I could look at it.
Look, I can see the fucking Godzilla
on the shelf over there.
It's not Godzilla.
I think it's a microphone actually.
And the NBA Jam.
There's NBA Jam.
There is an NBA Jam arcade cabinet in the lobby.
It's off.
What do you think is the, here's a question.
Yeah.
What do you think is the number one NBA,
if you ask all NBA players,
what do you think would the number one NBA, if you ask all NBA players, what do you think the number one jam would be?
Like their favorite song?
No, their favorite jam, preserve.
I was, if it was like, do you mean favorite,
your favorite jam to listen to,
and then like, oh, did you mean favorite like dunk to do?
But no, you want jam, like in terms of like a fruit spread.
I think probably,
I'm just, probably strawberry, right?
I'm guessing it would be strawberry or grape.
Just cause those are the most popular ones.
And I think if you survey any large group, you know,
it tends to like,
it's why the most popular ice cream flavor is vanilla,
most popular pepperoni.
Pepperoni is the number one pizza topping, you know?
I think that's what wins a general survey.
Does pepperoni beat all cheese?
Is that the?
Yeah, it does.
Oh, interesting.
I think my favorite jam would be slam by Onyx.
Yeah, I know.
My favorite one would be strawberry.
I suck today.
You're doing great.
I can't believe I suck today.
Usually you suck.
I'll have Anya turn the TV back on.
Ha ha ha ha. I ordered a belt.
This is an issue.
I ordered a belt from Fossil.
I think they're watchmakers normally, right?
Oh, wow.
I don't know.
And it ordered me a size 32 belt.
I can't fucking, I can barely get that around the leg.
So yeah, that's for a pretty slim man.
So, I need to chat with the fossil people
on the website if that is okay.
Right now?
I mean...
You need to see if I can get away with it.
I want to see how distracted I will be.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, fine, just do it.
Play your drop and start the...
Do you want me to do it for you?
Start the chat with the fossil rep
for upsizing your belt.
Emma, hit him with the drop. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I like the part where Timbaland, it's Timbaland, right? It has a little rap section.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was, that was from,
do do do do, cry me a river.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do do do do.
I don't know how old that is
when we were talking about it.
Anyways. Yeah, I don't remember.
I do kind of remember doing that on the show
because, oh, damage is done, so I guess I'll be leaving.
Yeah, I remember that part, yeah.
Dude, Timberlake fucking rocks.
Timberlake X Timberland.
What a collab.
The timber combo.
That's my favorite jam.
That's your favorite jam?
That's my number one jam.
Cry Me A River?
Cry Me A River's pretty good.
I'm just picturing NBA players dunking to cry me a river. So how does the jam the fruit spread come into play?
I was an NBA like jam song.
That's why I think slam slam slam slam slam.
Yeah, kind of underused.
You know, they still use Van Halen's jump.
Chris Cross's jump.
There's a new jump song.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think Slam would be a good... Oh, Slam-a-da-da-da. Slam-da-da-da. Yeah, kind of underused.
You know, they still use Van Halen's jump,
Chris Cross's jump.
There's a new jump song, which we've talked about.
I don't know who does it, but...
Also, Slam is like, it's like, let the boys be boys.
And you know what?
Bring that back.
You gotta let the boys be boys.
Let the boys be boys.
Let the boys be boys.
Let the boys be boys. Come on. Podcast is turning right. You knew it was happening.
It's been in the water for a while.
You want to get those Patreon numbers up.
Speaking of belts, Mitch, I actually, I think I have a pretty good belt today.
Can I show it off?
Yeah.
What the fuck is going to happen here?
Check out this belt, huh?
Is that on camera?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's pretty cool.
It is cool.
I like it.
Thanks, Emma. What's going on here? Check out this belt, huh? Is that on camera? Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's pretty cool.
It is cool, I like it.
Thanks Emma.
You wear that belt, you cut yourself shaving.
If like the evidence, if you like showed people
evidence and didn't show you,
it's like this person cut themselves shaving
and this is their belt.
Someone would be like, they're like 11. They were like, we're to guess, you know, they're guessing.
This is a bad quality and sounds deep fried.
This is bad quality and sounds deep fried,
but maybe it'll make the cut.
Jess, thanks Jess, I liked it.
Thanks Jess.
It was good.
Drops at birdfuck.com.
And now I got Cry Me Over instead of,
new kids on the block had a bunch of hits.
Even though I'm sure that all of the head gum hunks
probably constantly have that song on their head.
Have you ever watched the, I'm sure it's on a loop.
Have you ever watched the LFO, the guy,
and he unfortunately passed away very young,
but like, did you ever see his Howard Stern interview?
Oh no.
It's incredible.
I'll find the clip for it,
but he's like such a good interview.
He's like just so locked in,
and he has all these shows,
these stories about Lou Pearlman,
who is the imprisoned guy who I think himself
has also passed away by this point.
Let the boys be boys!
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he's like, you know,
he's the guy who put together LFO
and like Backstreet Boys and-
We're not talking about Luke Promet
when we say let the boys be boys.
But just, and what a weird like creep piece of shit he was.
Huge monster piece of shit.
I knew that.
Maybe I have seen this interview.
What a sad way to start the show off.
Anyways, let's intro our guest.
Speaking of sad pieces of shit.
Never. Our guest, thrilled to have them back, an actor in community, AP Bio and Work in Progress,
Mary Sohn is here.
Hi, Mary.
Hi, guys.
Thanks for making it.
Thank you for being here.
Whoa, high five.
I love that.
I was so unprepared.
That was cool as hell.
I got nervous.
And also, you know what's cool about that is you just had your cup in your hand and it
was cold to the touch.
You were like cool.
Oh, yeah.
You were so cool that you were cold to the touch.
How about that?
Let the boys be boys!
That is a good song.
I mean, besides the-
It's a great song.
It's Onyx, you know, Onyx is-
Yeah, that was Onyx and Biohazard,
and that was like, do you remember the rap rock collabs
when that was happening?
Well, that was a very early one, right?
The Judgment Night soundtrack was a big part of it. Do you remember that Dennis Leary movie?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
And so, and then on that, like, a bunch of metal bands
and rap groups were, like, were doing singles together.
And I think that was one of them.
I could be wrong.
Uh, who was the guy in Onyx who then was an actor?
Uh, I don't know.
Oh, fuck.
He was, like, maybe on the shield? man, I don't know. Oh fuck.
He was like, maybe on the shield?
Fuck, I'll get it.
Look it up.
Yeah, yeah.
But make sure to check up on your fossil chat.
Secretly looking at my fossil chat.
I'm shocked to hear you say that you're not good at shaving
because your skin looks so baby smooth.
Oh, thank you.
It really does.
Oh, what a nice thing to say.
And then I have to follow it up
with a less nice thing to say.
All right, I'm coming in hot.
Please, please do this, whatever it is.
Okay, face silky smooth.
The belt has such a fuzz on it.
It is a little fuzzy.
You got a little fuzzy belt.
Hella fuzzy belt.
You got fuzzy belt.
A cute belt, but quite fuzzy.
Yeah, it is a little fuzzy.
Yeah, I don't know what, you know, it might need to be de-linted. I Quite fuzzy. Yeah, it is a little fuzzy.
Yeah, I don't know what.
It might need to be delinted.
I don't know.
Maybe it's just fraying.
Yeah, no, it's a good note.
We'll work on it.
I got an idea.
Toss the belt.
Toss it.
Toss the belt?
Lose the belt?
Look, I know you use it every night.
OK.
Speaking of not erotic asphyxiation jokes.
That's what I'm saying.
Umbrella?
I also just realized how inappropriate
it was to say our guest's name and then do what I was doing.
So I deeply apologize.
This is bringing back some memories from my old apartment. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was trying to say that you were auto-erotic. Yeah, I know. We got it. Yeah.
I was trying to figure out the, when you said his skin was
baby smooth, I was trying to figure out,
remember the name of the blood that they claim Hillary
and all of them drink.
What is it called again?
Adenochrome?
Adrenochrome?
Adrenochrome.
It's like adrenaline.
Adrenochrome.
Yeah.
I was going to accuse him of drinking Adrenochrome,
of taking Adrenochrome for his baby smooth skin.
Yeah. Do you think we will taste test adrenochrome, of taking adrenochrome for his baby smooth skin. Yeah.
Do you think we'll taste test adrenochrome
before the pod is over?
I don't know if you can actually get it.
Can you get your hands on it?
I would be interested just to try it, adrenochrome.
I would like, well, I guess is,
can you just take some blot, can you like,
hmm, this is getting into tricky territory.
The other thing, and I don't know how related this is,
but there is like a, there is like-
Go boys listeners, if you got a child
between the ages of five and 12,
and you're cool taking some blood out of them,
we'll try it here on the air.
We'll try the blood.
But it has to be the same type as your blood, right?
You can't just take any blood.
I don't think if you're gonna do a transfusion.
Well, I have no idea what blood type I am.
So this is up. You don't know your blood type?
No, I have no idea.
Mitch, you gotta know.
Is it on your license?
I mean, not by default, I don't think.
I have no idea. What's yours?
I am type A.
Pretty big type.
I think it might be the most common type.
Oh, it is? I think so.
Maybe O is more, O is the universal one.
Anyone can have O? O is the universal donor, yeah. Okay. Yeah. No, O is the universal one. Oh, anyone can have O?
O is the universal donor, yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
No, I'm type A positive.
Do you know yours?
O.
Wow, also O, great.
I think you might be type D positive.
I think you might have Dracula in you now.
Just letting you know.
How have I made so many, I'm asking people for blood, I'm being, I'm out of control today.
I don't know what's going on.
You're doing fine.
I'll tell you this, I did, I actually did get blood extracted yesterday.
Whoa.
Should I just say what I did?
Not by a Dracula.
Well, I mean, I don't know.
Do we call nurses Dracula's?
I guess they are in a way.
We don't commonly call nurses Dracula's I guess they are in a way we don't commonly but if you think
about it they do take blood quite a bit they are kind of my mom was a nurse and
she wasn't a fucking Dracula so I just watch what you're saying they're like
though they're they're they're working man's Dracula. She took
some blood from me. She took some blood from my vein. I'm
going to be honest about what I did yesterday. Yeah. She took
some blood from my vein and they- Taking your hat off. They
spun it down for a reason. They spun it down.
They, now that's what I'm talking about.
Don't put the Celtics hat on, Jenny.
She doesn't deserve that.
You're just mad because it's not a Lakers.
You'd be fine if it was a Lakers hat.
Yeah, it would be.
It'd look great.
Jemmy's actually scared of basketballs.
Is that true?
I mean, they make big scary noises
when they bounce on the ground.
She doesn't like it. You're 100% right, baby.
You leave that hat on her head too long,
she's going to start barking at Italians.
That's pretty good.
So you took your hat off, you got some blood
transfusions.
Hey lady, you're a good girl.
I'm a good girl.
I'm a good girl.
I'm a good girl.
I'm a good girl.
I'm a good girl.
I'm a good girl. I'm a good girl. I'm a good girl. I'm a good girl. you took your hat off.
Uh, you did, you got some blood transients.
Ladies, the dog is doing the.
Um, I went in, I got blood extracted, and then they,
I'm losing them some hair.
I'll show you, I'm losing hair here.
Yeah, same for me.
And me as well, I'm thinning up front.
Yeah, it's the aging process.
And then here on the back of my head.
Sure, yeah, like the same thing.
I went to a dermatologist.
Crown baldness.
And I asked him about hair loss,
and so they take out the, I am doing an Adrenochrome sort. And so they take out the,
I am doing an adrenochrome sort of thing.
They take out the blood, they spin it around,
and then they needle your scalp.
I got needleed.
With the blood?
With like the plasma from the blood.
They like spin it down.
I think it looked like kind of almost clear
when they were doing it.
This is a newer procedure?
Like this is, cause this is not like,
not like you're getting hair plugs,
not like you're getting like a hair transplant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, no, it's, no, it's not transplant.
It's like revitalizing the existing follicles.
Yeah, it's supposed to grow your,
it's a fountain of youthy, you know?
Is this the Urlacher?
Is the, is, oh.
The procedure?
Oh, I don't know, that's a great question.
Wait, Brian Urlacher, the Chicago Bears,
is that what you're referencing?
Yeah, yeah.
Did he get, did he got that?
He got some sort of hair treatment,
and now he's Luscious Locks.
Wow. Wow.
There are billboards all around O'Hare Airport
in Chicago that say, that have Brian Urlacher on them,
and it's a bunch of O'Hare jokes
about like your hair and O'Hare at the airport.
They're all over the place.
Oh, shit.
O'Hare never misses a beat.
Yeah. That's excellent.
Good for them.
That is funny as hell. Good for O Good for them. That is funny as hell.
Good for Oh hair.
That is funny as hell.
Logan is not, you know, there's like some
Italian propaganda, but that's kind of it.
Logan doesn't do anything fun like that.
Yeah, I don't know if it's a similar thing,
but yeah, he was needling my head
and he needled up here a little bit. It was painful it was, it was painful. It was like, yeah,
yeah, like a five or six on the pain scale was kind of, this was the first
time. This is the first time. And I just bought a three pack of minoxidil from
Costco. Yeah. It definitely says it's not for women, but I'm thinking about doing
it. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it probably, yeah, it's interesting. I don't know if, I was about to give doctor advice.
Yeah.
Well, if you wanna talk to Dr. C***
who probably doesn't appreciate me saying his name.
We can bleep it.
We can bleep, yeah, we can bleep out Dr. C***.
Thank you for talking to me.
I'll give you, if you wanna talk to him too.
I'm scared.
I gotta try a topical first and then.
That's fair, that's fair. That's where I'm at. I'm doing the I gotta try a topical first and then. That's fair, that's fair.
That's where I'm at.
I'm doing the, I hope I can remember the name
of our sponsor, Keeps.
Do we know, is it Keeps?
Keeps or Hymns?
Whatever our sponsor was, I think it was Keeps or Hymns.
I've been doing that and then that's like a rub thing
in the scalp.
The thing is though, and Mary Ann, you can see this Mary Ann,
I don't wanna make you look at my scalp,
but like I'm getting like some dryness of my hairline now.
You think that's from the hems?
I think it maybe is, yeah.
I mean, I probably shouldn't say that.
Oh!
I think you just got fucking,
I think you got dry head, my man.
I could just have dry head.
That could be a better thing.
You're a hat wearer too, usually, aren't you?
I've been wearing my hat less since I've cut my hair,
because I had it very long for a time.
I wore them to the locks out in 2024. Should 2024. I mean, I feel like I look stupid.
I'm going to put my hat on.
You look great.
Oh, you look great.
Really?
Yes.
Yeah, you look nice.
I said yesterday that I feel like when I have my hat off,
because I wear like a hoodie and my shoe is untied, truly,
I feel like when I don't have a hat on,
I feel like a little kid.
Like, I feel like I have like spaghetti sauce
all over my mouth.
Right.
Well, you do, but that's different.
Like I feel like I have like spaghetti sauce all over my mouth.
Right.
Well you do, but that's different. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I feel like a little child. I found a before and after Brian Erlacher. He was just like completely bald.
He was like full on chrome.
Wow.
Damn.
And now he's got a good head of hair.
So that's a whatever he did is pretty impressive.
Erlacher was pretty great in some dark bearers day.
Are you a Bears fan?
You know, I've never really gotten to football much.
What's your sport?
I do like, I really like watching basketball.
You're Chicago Bulls!
Jesus.
I'm surprised Jimmy didn't start fucking barking.
That was horrifying.
Good girl.
The fog ass had bored her into a comatose state,
so she didn't fucking react.
I mean.
Do you have a favorite player?
Wemby.
Oh wow, Wemby. Yeah. Yeah, he's so fun. He should be fucking racked. I mean. Do you have a favorite player?
Wemby.
Oh, wow, Wemby.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's so fun.
That's a great choice.
He's, man.
This is the new, for people who don't follow the NBA,
this is a French superstar who's in his first year
in the NBA, in the league.
And he plays for the San Antonio Spurs.
And he is like seven foot five, but just so athletic.
It looks like a gazelle out there.
It's amazing.
So nimble and fast and really elegant.
And when he plays, it's insane.
Yeah, he's awesome.
I know I'm, I'm, I'm, you always worry with injuries, but I feel like bigger
guys like that now don't get hurt as much anymore.
I mean, like, and they're also way more like they're athletic.
Now they can shoot three pointers, which like back in the day,
Dikembe, Matumbo shooting a three-pointer.
You could tell that Dikembe could get hurt at any minute.
Isn't that what you thought?
Dikembe just looked fragile.
He was huge and he was amazing, but I'm saying like-
Are you thinking about Manute Bull?
Oh yes, but also Dikembe, I mean, he was thicker.
Dikembe was a big guy, but he was a little stronger.
Yeah, I mean, maybe he was injury prone.
Actually, I'm not remembering this point.
But yeah, Manu Bull would step out behind the three-point line
and was also hugely tall.
He was like 7'6", but rail thin.
But yeah, I think there is something like,
to Wemby and Chet Holmgren, they have these lean bills.
And Anthony Davis, you've seen the same thing.
He's leaned out a little bit.
Like everyone's getting a little bit less muscular
cause I think just that much weight on your body
when you're that big.
It's the honest kind of model.
It's like an absolute square.
Yeah.
But the shoulders are like.
I challenge them to a one-on-one
of NBA Jam.
I still also get my ass kicked so bad.
We just want to have an NBA player on the show.
It'd be cool as hell.
That would be great.
We almost got Taco.
Remember we almost got Taco Fall?
Yeah, we did.
We were in negotiations with Taco Fall.
And then it just, when I, he was on my,
he was on the flight in front of me, Taco.
And you asked him?
You passed up a little napkin?
I, I, I, he was like directly in front of me.
I was like, hey, like, hey, I'm a fan and you want,
like I have a podcast.
He said yes.
And then he needed help getting to his rental car.
And I helped, I walked into his rental car and then.
What is a guy that big rent?
He must be like a giant SUV, right?
It was the craziest thing is like,
you've been around celebrities.
You've seen celebrities here in Hollywood.
Yeah, sure.
No one.
I'm looking at one right now.
Duh.
Lucky, the leprechaun?
Who the fuck are you talking about?
That's very kind of you.
I don't know, Stu from Twisted Metal, how about?
Oh, that's kind of you, Wags.
Fuck off.
I had never seen a guy get just, it was at LAX, but he was like so approached.
And it's not like he was like,
he's not even in the league anymore right now,
but it's like not like he was like a huge player.
I mean, literally huge.
That's the thing.
It's the added element of like also
our fascination with giants.
It's like, oh my goodness, that person is so huge.
They must be an athlete. And then like also the people who recognize them on top of it.
But yeah, that's a crazy thing.
It must be impossible to live like that.
Yeah, I know, he was getting approached left
by everyone at the airport.
And I was like, oh, this is insane.
I've never seen this with even a celebrity.
I mean, I guess I don't go to the red carpets,
premieres too often.
You're kind of too big for that.
Yeah, I get it.
I think the move would have been just acting like a security guard.
And then you just get like, excuse me, Mr. Fall's got to get through.
And then you're like, then you have a friend for life.
That's very funny.
Hey, man, thanks for helping me out there.
But then also I'd be like, Paco, help!
You know, I'm in trouble.
A little kid has me in a headlock.
I'm weak, as you've forgotten.
You're a strong man, come on.
I mean, I thought that I was very weak
until I came to California.
I'm like, man, I could beat the hell out
of a lot of these people.
Absolutely, yeah.
It was like, in Boston, I'm like you in Boston and here I'm strong.
What the fuck does that mean?
I was just saying, you're not the toughest guy.
How dare you?
I'm just saying when I got out here and it's like,
hey, I'm Koala.
And I was like,
I cannot hold these people over.
The birthday boys?
I could take all the birthday boys.
At once?
At once would be tough.
At once would be tough.
You know what, Hanford is very quick to jump to action
in a good way.
Sure.
We were at the Staples Center.
What show were we at?
And some guys started being very physical with another guy
or maybe his wife even.
It was very awful.
And Hanford jumped right in there.
And I was just kind of there with a hot dog being like,
you know, like, and it did make me be like,
oh, I'm like a person who wouldn't jump.
Like in the time, it was like this hero like saved the day
when like there was like, whatever a guy had done.
Hanford is one of those guys.
I was just like, oh, whoa, this is crazy
with a hot dog in my hand.
Oh, entertainment.
Like that's kind of what I...
But Hanford was like running there,
he was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up.
Broke it up?
He did, he did.
He had rules.
I was like so impressed.
I think it was like, by the time I even had like
mentally realized what was going on,
Hanford had already jumped in there
and I'm not the quickest as you know.
Yeah, sure.
But I'm also like, I'm picturing this and I'm also can't not think
of Hanford doing it in a Hanford-y kind of way.
It was like, hey, yeah, you're getting a breakup everywhere.
Come on, what's going on here?
You know, like kind of being Hanford-y about it.
Whoa, what?
You, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on a second, hold on a second.
Oh, guys are up to no good here.
You know what's funny is he kind of did break it up in a Hanfordy
way. Not like it wasn't like he wasn't being funny but he was like whoa whoa whoa whoa you know he
did like a Hanfordy thing. He did a Hanfordy thing. I gotta have him tell it sometime.
I want to hear exactly what he did. If it's maybe a Roger Waters concert. Wow. You had a hot dog at a restaurant. Hey, let me tell you something.
I love this shit.
I don't mean to be coming for you.
I don't know why I'm coming for you so hard.
Let me tell you, you won't find me at many events without a hot dog.
I think that that's, especially now that I figured out that
popcorn maybe hurts my stomach.
I was at the Vista.
Yeah, you don't have-
Some Quentin Tarantino. So then it's- With some popcorn, hurts my stomach. I was at the Vista. Yeah, you don't have- So I went in Tarantino,
put some popcorn, my stomach hurt.
It's either, your other option is like nachos.
Yeah.
The soft pretzel, I always feel like it's so heavy.
And also it's not the same sort of snacking food.
But the problem with the hot dog is I'm done with that hot dog
during the first trailer.
Like that hot dog just going-
The hot dog is gone within me within a minute.
Right.
And you kind of want to swallow it down. Yeah, of course.
But you ever eat the hot dog before going in the theater?
I do that sometimes.
You suck that thing right out the bun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was trying to return his fucking hot dog. Do you like or dislike the Costco hot dog?
Love it.
We're fans.
Big fan.
What about yourself?
I really liked it when they had the raw onion because I'm nasty.
Yeah, I'm with you.
Yeah, but now that they don't have that out there, it really loses something, but it does
also stay with you for a while.
For sure.
That's a little tough.
That was a major quarantine downgrade
that I was hoping would get rectified.
Cause they did bring back the chicken bake.
They had that off the menu for a while,
but they really streamlined their,
the Costco, you know, the Costco food court.
They really streamlined the menu.
They closed it off to all but members,
which is a little bit annoying, even though I am a member.
And executive member doesn't have any deal.
But-
Ask for them to bring it back.
Ask whoever-
Bring back the raw onion.
Cause you would have the little onion thing
you get to roll it to and that was a lot of fun.
That was fun.
That is fun.
Was it, is there just a whole onion in there?
Are you cutting it up while you do that?
That's what I like to think of.
I mean, probably not, but that's fun to think of.
It is fun to think of? I mean, probably not, but that's fun to think of.
It is fun to think of.
I don't love, my mom made me figure this out.
I like all beef, Franks.
She doesn't like, she likes the mix of the pork and,
what is it, pork and whatever, pork and beef?
Yeah, pork and beef, yeah, sometimes chicken in there.
Yeah, but she likes the pork hot dogs.
They're both very good, obviously,
but I think I do like pork hot dogs more.
I was gonna say, if I was anything like our Redditors,
when I saw the people who were on our Reddit board,
if I saw Quentin Tarantino at the Vista,
I would have gone off to him and been like,
your popcorn makes my stomach hurt, Mr. Tarantino.
That's the level of what you post on our Reddit. Your movies are problematic, Mr. Tarantino. That's the level of what you post on our Reddit.
Your movies are problematic, Mr. Tarantino.
You should really.
You show feet, and I think you like feet.
I think you think that's an issue.
I went onto our Reddit this morning,
which I know you say never to do.
Yeah, don't, stay out of it.
But there was a thing I said, Mitch is.
Stay away from the sewer rats.
This is at like 3 a.m. as I was up.
There was a thing that said, Mitch is on fire for this episode.
Very nice.
And then another one that said my joke, both of them had downvotes.
So there's a guy who just goes in there and is downvoting a nice thing said about me.
There's some real turds in there.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't go. Don't listen to the show, you fucking weirdo.
I'm just gonna say shut down the subreddit'm just gonna say, shut down the subreddit.
No, no.
Shut down the subreddit.
No, no, no.
Also, if you're a fan of the show
and you're a moderator of the subreddit,
you're adding genuine distress to one of the host slides.
No, I like it, I like it.
You don't like it, you do not like it.
There's positive comments in there.
One guy said Mitch is on fire, that's nice.
You can't read anything, this is all I have. I did go to that post, I did read that post and like it. You do not like it. There's positive comments in there. One guy said Mitch is on fire. That's nice. You can't read anything.
This is all I have.
I did go to that post.
I did read that post and download it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Um, I, uh, by the way, is someone, I know someone is going to like look up how much
this, the belt I'm wearing costs or something like that or how much a fossil belt costs.
It was $45.
You're going to yell at us about that.
Yeah.
It's 45 bucks.
Sorry.
I apologize.
I'll donate to some fucking belt. Why is we gonna we gotta get we gotta get a little bit to the restaurant because our
guest is a fan but I want to say this what were you gonna say?
No I would keep going finish thought.
You called me this morning.
Yeah.
And you said Mitch I'm sorry I'm running late.
It's true.
Um little did you know I wasn't here.
I was just leaving my house.
So I just wanted to be open with you.
Wags called me, he called me like,
basically at the start of,
we were supposed to be here at noon. Yeah. He called me at it was like, he called me like, basically at the start of, we were supposed to be here
at noon, he called me at around noon and said,
hey, I just want to let you know, like, I'm running late.
Yeah, I was in a really bad traffic.
And I was like, oh, it's cool, dude, it's fine.
I was just on my way to work.
Well, it worked out.
It worked out, I was still here before you.
You were late by Wags' stand, or sorry, spitting everywhere.
You were late by-
I was genuinely late and I didn't-
It's like a Delophosaurus over here.
Good pull.
Thank you.
Delophosaurus spit the Spitter's dinosaur
from Jurassic Park.
I know that.
Which actually turns out they don't,
I'd met the guy, I told you this, at Legendary Effects.
I met the guy who actually did,
who shot the goo out of the Delophosaurus,
which is so cool.
And he lives-
Your fellow goo shooter? The Dilophosaurus is like, give it a break, man.
He lives near, that guy lived near Dennis Nedry,
uh, Wayne Knight. That's amazing. And like, he'd always be like, you, you know, he'd always like make a joke to him about. Oh, that guy lived near Dennis Nedry, Wayne Knight.
That's amazing.
And he'd always be like, you, you know, he'd always make a joke to him about it.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah.
He shot you.
You.
You.
They, like I guess it was, the goo was like a mix down of like, he shot it with a paint,
threw a paintball gun.
Wow.
And it was like, it was like melted down with a bunch of different things like condoms.
I think he used my condom from college.
The one you had in your wallet for four full years.
We need condoms for this like, I know a great source for it.
Mary, I want to ask you about, because last time we had you on the show, it's been too long, we were talking Insomnia cookies.
And I think we all had a positive experience with Insomnia cookies.
But have you revisited Insomnia cookies since our episode?
I haven't.
Yeah, that's the thing.
I was like, no, well, I've gotten it as gifts a few times, but I haven't gotten it for my, I haven't just been like,
I'm gonna get Insomnia for myself.
Didn't it make it into the Golden Play Club?
I think it did.
It should have.
Yeah, no, we had a great experience with Insomnia
and versus the other big one, which is crumble.
Like we definitely preferred it to crumble.
Crumble, which is what we send out for gifts, by the way.
We'll crumble someone sometimes.
Which you do.
It depends.
Wags is very on top of birthdays.
You are?
Yes.
I try to be.
He's very good with that stuff.
I'm okay with that.
He said, I'm going to send some crumble to this person.
I said, thank you for doing it.
He's very good with that stuff.
That's very sweet.
Crumble is the one where you blast it with a syringe?
I think that's the Delophosaurus. Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
No, there's some that have some flavor injections to them,
but it's not like you get it and you inject it.
Oh, you don't?
No, I don't think so.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Yeah.
I think I know what you're talking about.
What is that?
I'm just really easily influenced.
I'm not on other social media,
but I love to lurk on TikTok and all the like food trends
and the injection of cookies and stuff.
I'm very susceptible.
Yeah.
I like it all.
Yeah.
I mean, I take screen grabs of restaurants.
Like I follow, I now follow like one hour lunch.
What's the other one?
Well, I follow our boy, the guy who talks like that. I remember, Luke Foods. Luke Foods. I follow like one hour lunch. What's the other one? Well, I follow our boy, the guy who talks like that.
I remember, Luke Foods, Luke Foods.
I follow Luke Foods.
Luke Foods is great.
Dang, it's Wayne.
Who else do I follow?
There's like a few food,
oh, Locke's level, Rick Locke's I follow too.
No gals?
Interesting.
Sister Snacking I follow, there we go.
Okay, all right.
I think he's making this shit up.
The lady food group.
Yeah, okay.
Um.
Um.
Chewy chicks.
That's an alt-right account, I don't, okay.
No, no.
Okay, it's not an injector. I don't. OK. No. No.
OK, it's not an injector.
I don't know.
It's like they have just like really big, bulky cookies
that have a lot of, you know, over-the-top toppings.
I don't know.
Crumble is also good.
And I think crumble is maybe sometimes the better gift box,
because it's a little bit more, uh.
Hey, don't get distracted, Wags.
Someone was looking at me and then gave us a smile.
I was like, well, I got a wave.
Who was it?
That's a guest for another podcast.
It was Lamorne Morris.
I saw him on the way.
Yeah.
Very friendly.
And let's just say I tested for one of his shows with him,
and I didn't get the role.
You want to get him in here?
Get him in here.
How awkward that'd be.
He sits on this chair next to me.
He sits right here. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha is the person doing the show every week is like, oh, man, I should get that more often. And then they never do it again until we revisit the chain.
And I'm curious, our guests, for the most part,
it seems to be the same thing.
It's just like, oh yeah, even if you like it,
if it's not part of your regular consumption habits,
you're not gonna go back to it, you know?
Yeah.
I like this injector.
It reminds me of the needle from yesterday.
Wow, kind of, it does.
The plasma, which has youth properties.
Imagine if it slips and you got my hog.
And then my hog's gonna like go get younger.
Got bigger somehow.
Swelled up like a bee sting, got bigger.
On that note, Wags, I wanna say this.
Happy birthday to my sister Courtney.
It's her birthday today.
Happy birthday, Courtney.
I should text her.
You should text her.
Oh, she would love that.
Yeah, I will.
Yeah, that's great.
Well, you know what?
She never listens to podcasts, so you can say that,
and we don't have to edit this out, that you'll text her,
because she won't hear it, definitely.
I'll do it.
Send her texts.
Why not?
Mary, I want to talk about sandwiches
before we get into Jimmy John specifically.
Sandwiches, one of the most common,
you know, like a lunch that you get out,
but also a lunch that you get,
I'm going somewhere with this.
Let me cook.
One of the more common like lunches you would get out,
but also I think one of the more common
like lunches you'd prepare in the home,
are you someone who makes a sandwich at home?
Yeah, very sparse though.
Sparse, like it's a rare occasion?
Oh no, I'm sorry.
What I'm putting in it is just like-
Oh, just a very simple sandwich?
Yeah, just like a real, like an English muffin
with a couple slices of a circular meat and maybe a cheese.
Do you put a condiment on there?
Oh yeah.
Oh, condiment on there? Oh yeah. Oh condiment.
A condiment of mint.
That's Weiger's, his favorite toppings.
Yeah, big pizza condiment.
I love a Cupid Mayo and mustard,
like a really stone ground mustard.
I've been getting that QP mayo from Costco.
They got the big boys.
The two pack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the two pack, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
We've talked about this before, and I still stand by it.
Whenever a place overmeets their sandwich,
there's only like one or two specific places that I like it,
but if you overmeet your sandwich, I don't like it.
Too much, I mean, like unless I guess the star of the show
is just that meat.
If you go to Langer's and it's in your getting pastrami,
you know, and there's a slice of Swiss on it,
but it's a big stack of pastrami, I'm fine with that.
But sometimes you'll get, like, the meat tower.
And it's like, I can't even get my mouth around it.
I can't get my mouth around it. Yeah, yeah.
And I got a big mouth.
So it's like, you know, like, I can't get my mouth around it.
Let's see.
Wow!
This truly looks like, like, Conehead-esque. People have. When the Conehead's like, you know what I'm gonna put it on it. Wow! Wow! This truly looks like, like conehead-esque.
People have-
When the conehead's like, you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, yeah.
That's wild.
Unlocking the jaw, wow.
And then people like comment on the videos
because of how my mouth is like always open.
They're like, a wiger's catching flies,
but it's just like,
but my mouth naturally kind of hangs like this.
Yeah.
Like I have to force it closed and I think it's just because of the size of my jaw.
Wait, I have to have a follow up.
So at night, do you grind?
I do, yeah.
You do?
I grind big time, yeah.
I stay grinding, so.
Wow.
Grinding.
Bring it back up to.
Come on, Clips.
Clips in the studio.
You grind, but you also have like a loose jaw.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm fascinated.
But my jaw dislocates every night as well.
So like the first thing that happens in the morning
is that I have to pop my jaw back into place.
You take Natalie out of your mouth.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
It did look very much Conehead's dentist scene.
Yeah. I don't get that big. Holy shit, that is big. It did look very much coneheads dentist scene.
I don't get that big.
Holy shit, that is big.
I got a big mouth.
That's as big as I can get it.
Yeah.
Well, that's freakishly small.
That's too small.
Open your mouth.
That is as big as I can get it.
That is small, huh?
I would do it, but I just got two teeth extracted.
Oh my God.
Oh shit.
My mouth is an absolute graveyard.
They just got pulled out for good.
Yeah, I was always a kid that had root canals and shit.
And then I guess those don't last forever,
so then you have to get a re-root canal.
And then after that, they're out.
Damn.
Wow.
This is such a good episode.
This is so great.
Was that ever, because I had very bad teeth as a kid.
I got a lot of cavities.
Yeah.
Tisks.
This is the thing, I think it was partly genetic,
but I think also I just had a really shitty diet
and probably not the best brushing out.
Yeah, it's genetic.
Also, when you talked about how you'd eat a Snickers bar and Mountain not the best brushing out. Yeah, it's genetic. Also, when you talked about how you would eat
a Snickers bar in Mountain Dew for lunch every day.
Yeah, 100%.
No, they were just marinating in sugar all day.
That was the issue.
But was yours, was it cavity related?
Did you know exactly what the cause was?
I think also genetic, but I do remember
being a real nasty little gremlin as a kid
and eating candy and falling asleep with the candy in my mouth.
So that's really nasty.
What's your favorite candy?
Well, okay, so again, I'm very easily influenced.
I'm on Swedish candy TikTok.
Are you familiar?
Yes.
I only follow female Swedish candy TikTok.
No, no, too late.
Fuck.
Too late, men's rights.
Fuck. You've never seen the sweets candy?
No, I'm not, I mean, I'm not on TikTok.
Okay, fair.
Yeah.
It's like all these like gummies
and they're like sour candy, which I really, really like.
I think we talked about this last time I was here,
I love rips.
Oh, you're right, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
You guys know that?
And he's a gummy isn't yummy guy, so we probably would.
Yeah, that's my controversial stance.
Gummy ain't yummy.
Gummy's not for me.
Well then what do you like?
I'll take chocolate.
I like chocolate.
Oh, you can't chocolate.
I'm a huge gummy fan, by the way.
Yeah.
I can't believe you haven't had any.
I should bring you some.
I would love to try them.
I mean, also, I could, we can, I can order them.
Don't you, don't spend any money on this show.
That goes for the listeners, too.
Don't spend money on the show. Don't do this money on this show. That goes for the listeners, too. Don't spend money on this show.
Don't do this.
I feel bad.
Also, I think we did talk about this the first time,
Yaron, you worked at Bubba Gump Shrimp.
Oh, yeah, baby.
We talked about that.
We did, 100%.
OK, all right.
We were talking about it today, Wags, before you got here.
Right.
And feels good to say that.
And I was saying, I am a fan of, for whatever reason,
I think it is actually one of the places at CityWalk
that is just surviving.
Cause you go, we've gone into Margaritaville,
I mean, I think all of them are-
It's staying power is remarkable.
Well, I feel like at CityWalk, it's like so many places,
just, Amir's leaving.
So many places, I just, mean you're sleeping... so many so
many places I just I wave goodbye to them.
Why do you? So many places just open stay open because of necessity like right
sure just funneled into them but we've gone to like Margaritaville and it's
been completely empty. And it's also sucked. We've had some bad experiences.
Me too! What's their thing? What is their cuisine? I know their drinks are a big thing,
but what are they known for?
The cheeseburger in Paradise is probably why
this place opened, I feel like.
Yeah, and maybe Margarita's?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
No.
I mean, Margarita's, that's the pain.
There's another person, Sean Clements is looking here
mad at us.
We need these shades immediately.
Now he's looking at Wags.
I gave him a friendly wave.
I know, we'll talk about an intimidating man.
The bar arenas, yes of course.
They do have decent, you can get a decent drink there. That is for sure. The bar arenas, yes, of course.
They do have decent, you can get a decent drink there. That is for sure.
I think this is a place.
When we were in Vegas and it was hot as hell
and we went in there, I was like,
this tastes like ambrosia, the nectar of the gods.
They had one of Jimmy Buffett's planes
in the suspended from wires in the Vegas one,
which is kind of, yeah, like one of the small planes.
I think this, I think it's another place that's really
declined post-COVID.
Like, I think quarantine really took its toll on Margaritaville,
and we'll see how much that brand and sort of the Parrot Head
lifestyle persists past Jimmy Buffett, who's
tragically passed away.
But I mean, like, it is, I agree that the food is not really anything special,
and that that's been a disappointment.
It was the last time we went there, not for the podcast.
We're kind of disappointed.
We went as friends.
Yeah, we went.
We have a big group of us went there.
I yeah, I'm I'm afraid to see what happened.
I never saw Jimmy Buffett in concert.
It makes me sad.
I saw him once.
I know you're lucky.
Yeah.
Was it a long concert? It was like a normal length concert.
I don't know if I stick around with all that.
Where did you go afterwards?
I went to do an improv show.
Oh, where did you go before?
Cabo Wabo Cantina.
That's right, we went to Cabo Wabo Cantina as a pregame.
That was a lot of fun.
That sucks that I know you so well
that I know what you did before you went
to a Jimmy Buffett concert.
You've just heard the story before, isn't it?
You've committed to memory.
Yeah.
That sucks.
It doesn't.
But I was going to say, Bubba Gump is still pretty packed.
Like, I think they still do numbers up there at City Walk.
But I don't know what other places.
There's now like the chocolate-torium or whatever
that we are going to go to at some point.
We're gonna review that, yeah.
But wait, but going back to Bubba Gum,
were you a server there?
Remind us.
I was a server and then a bartender for a week.
Wow.
And also on the safety committee.
Wow.
The safety committee.
I don't get so damn seriously.
Yeah, those people were my family.
Was this in Chicago?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
So, I mean, Chicago, a town of performers.
I mean, the truth, right?
True.
Yeah.
You're a great performer.
Was there a side of that at Bubba Gump where you're like,
I got to be like, perform?
But there's not that much of that there.
Oh, god.
Yeah, there's not a Forrest Gump walk around character.
I don't know why you said performer.
You did like a good job.
Maybe Jimmy Buffett was still in my head.
But there was a guy that walked around as.
Wait, really?
Yes, and he would come and do it and like hit the tables
and then afterwards we would see him at the bus stop
and he would be a full method actor.
He would not drop the voice.
Wow, oh my gosh.
Yeah, and he had like a little suitcase with him.
It was so freaky.
There's a white feather floating around on him.
So this was not on staff, he was just a guy who did it.
Yeah.
Wow.
And then a table was like, oh, this guy, Forrest is racist.
He's not going to our table, so he's racist.
It was a tough, tough, tough day at Bobcat Shrimp Company.
Yeah, because you're like, oh, this is like a nice addition,
but then also like, should we tell this guy
to get the hell out of here too?
Right, it's tough.
Yeah.
But I love that you said that you love the food
because again, like if you go to Margaritaville,
I got like a club sandwich and mine was the last to come out. So then they, as like a mea culpa brought
like a huge plate of leftover fried items, I guess. And I was just like, nobody wants
all these like random onion rings and whatever. And the sandwich sucked. Yeah. It was a bummer.
A club sandwich also being last is insane. Exactly. Why?
Why?
The club sandwich shouldn't come out last.
They forgot it.
They forgot it.
They forgot it.
Did you have a favorite menu item when you worked there,
or a favorite cocktail at Bubblegum?
The cocktails were very good, as you remember.
The Lava Flow was like a pina colada with a strawberry.
Did you ever get their margaritas?
I don't know if I did.
I've had the Lava Flow for sure.
Wasn't it good?
It was great.
Yeah. I mean, I like Bubblegum's. I think it's pretty, if I did. I've had the lava flow for sure. Wasn't it good? It was great.
I mean, like, I like bubblegums.
I think it's pretty, when I'm up and see-
We should go back.
We should go back.
We should go back.
While you're there, try the Run Across America Sampler.
Okay.
Yeah, it's got the green bow tenders.
We got some fried shrimp.
We've got the bubblegum spinach artichoke dip.
It's excellent.
Now I'm naturally going to approach,
because we've eaten so many appetizer sampler platters
at different chain restaurants,
that I'm naturally gonna approach this
with a bit of skepticism, but with an open mind.
Okay.
You're right, the Margaritaville sampler is bad.
It's a bad, it's not a good sampler, yeah.
But no, that sounds promising.
Very good, do you guys like hush puppies?
I'll take a hush puppy.
I'll take a hush puppy.
It's like shrimp, rice, and like corn in it,
it's really good.
Yeah.
I'll take a hush puppy with a slush puppy.
Jimmy kind of a hush puppy.
Oy.
People don't know what slush puppies are, right?
No, we got it.
I remember slush puppies.
You know slush puppies.
Was that, did slush puppies come to the?
I just thought Jimmy's kind of a hush puppy,
because she's quiet.
Oh, yeah, no, that's good.
I just wanted to acknowledge that.
No, that's good.
That was good.
Sorry.
That was very good. It doesn't bark. I've never heard her that. No, that's good. That was good. Sorry. That was very good.
It was good.
I've never heard her bark.
Does she bark?
She barks very rarely.
And it's usually an excitement bark.
Like if one of us has been gone for a while
and then we get home, she gets a little,
she does a little, like, lets out a little excitement.
Like, it's not even really a bark.
It's like a little talking.
That is cute.
She did maybe growl at me the other day.
We're still not sure.
She does like little hello growls sometimes. but it's rare that she makes noise.
She just did a very cute thing that Wally will do sometimes.
I started petting her head and she did like her hand just went up a little.
Cute.
Cute as hell.
Cute.
So did you not have to perform too much at Bubba Gump's?
You just have to ask trivia, which is hard because again, people don't remember that movie, and then they're like, why is my server asking me,
you know, what football number was Forrest Gump
when he played for Alabama, you know?
Lies.
I would guess 88, but I don't know.
Nine.
22.
22, okay.
Divided by four, you would have gotten it.
Yeah, it was a double number, so it wasn't bad, okay.
Do you have any more Forrest Gump trivia?
Sure, sure, I just love that the paw thing.
I spent like thousands to train my dog and the one thing that she does now is we'll be like,
spank me, spank me, and she'll do a little spank on the butt. That's cute. For a $2,000,
she does a spank and he spank me. Still barks like hell, but. Sorry, what were you saying?
Do you have any more Forrest Gump trivia?
Sure.
Well, I mean, the first one you have to start with
is what's Forrest Gump's girlfriend's name?
Jenny.
Right, okay.
Well done.
Okay.
And well delivered.
Thank you.
I've been actually, I've been going
to bubblegum restaurants as far as.
Was that you?
You erased it.
It was an Italian table. I've been actually, I've been going to bubblegum restaurants as far as- Was that you? You raised it. You raised it.
Oh god, what a-
It was an Italian table.
Hey, Forest hasn't been running as much.
I like that stop, Forest, stop.
I wish I remember more, of course.
The football number one is impressive.
Yeah, that's a tough one.
Did people ever get the hard ones?
Some people would go there for the trivia.
Wow.
Did you get something if you got it right or no?
Sadly, no.
No.
But I would always be like, I'm just
going to sneak them a little scoop
of vanilla ice cream.
Just try to take some.
That's nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Throw a salad in.
You were good.
Unfortunately, I am going to report you to Bubba Gump.
Oh!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Shit.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
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It's been a while.
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Let's talk about Jimmy John's.
Yes. Well, I was going to say... Please....to go from Poe Boys to Sub Sandwicheswags.
Yeah.
Your transition was better
of just saying, let's talk about...
No, I thought that was great.
...Jimmy John's.
Yours was great.
I'm glad we went back to it.
Jimmy John's lost in the first round of Bunch Madness 2022,
the Tournament of Champions Heroes Journal suboptimal.
You were glad we went back to it?
Yeah, I liked it.
Okay, all right, thank you.
I couldn't tell if you were sincere or not.
That it lost. It was up against a Jersey Mike's. of much mad as 2022 the tournament of champions, Heroes Journal suboptimal. You were glad we went back to it? Yeah, I liked it.
Okay, all right, thank you.
I couldn't tell if you were sincere or not.
That it lost, it was up against Jersey Mike's
is the thing, and Jersey Mike's was the ultimate winner.
I mean, Jersey Mike's, going up against Jersey Mike's
in its first round, that's, you know, that's,
you're gonna get steam, it won the competition.
Yeah.
So it had no chance.
I also at the time, I told you this.
It was like when Duke plays like Mount St. Mary's or something like that.
You know?
There's a 116 matchup where he's like, they're just not gonna win.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And no one expected an upset.
Like it was, and it was, oh yeah, it's like 150 to like 72 or something.
I think that when we started this
tournament, when we did this, the whatever sub dumb sub name
tournament. Do you know remember the name?
Here's journal sub heroes journey suboptimal. Yeah, I
didn't like I didn't like Jersey mics at all. Right. I mean,
like we've talked about how the guys a piece of shit.
Jimmy Johns. You said Jersey mics. Oh, I'm sorry, Jersey, sorry, Jimmy John's.
Yes.
They're very similar names.
Jimmy John's, Jimmy John is a piece of shit.
We've talked about this a lot,
but I also genuinely didn't like the sandwiches.
Interesting.
I would like honestly would like rate Subway over them.
That's insane.
That's insane.
But hold on, hold on, hold on.
We've now had Subway and Jimmy John's in the same week.
They're not releasing next to each other.
No.
We recorded the episodes Tuesday and Thursday.
Uh-huh.
And I think my mind's changed a little bit
on the whole matter.
I definitely...
I'll just save my thoughts.
We first reviewed it on April 13, 2017,
with another Chicagoan, Lauren Lapkus.
LL went four forks.
Mitch, you went two and a half forks.
I went three and a half forks.
It was founded by Jimmy John Leiteau in 1983.
His dad said, start a business or join the Army.
And he's like, I'll start a business.
And his dad said, here's $25,000.
Wow. So he took $25,000 from And his dad said, here's $25,000.
So he took $25,000 from his dad, which is equivalent to $75,000
today, and used it to open a sandwich shop.
And has over 2,700 locations today, currently owned
by Rourke Capital.
Rourke Capital, one of those ominous umbrella corporations
named for the protagonist of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead.
It's true.
Is this real?
Mitch, don't read The Fountainhead
for the one-book challenge.
Come in here with a different ideology.
I'll read it.
Ewan likes it.
Here's who else owns Rourke...
or who else is owned by Rourke Capital.
Arby's, Baskin Robbins, Buffalo Wild Wings,
Carl's Jr. and Hardee's, Baskin Robbins, Buffalo Wild Wings,
Carl's Jr. and Hardee's, Dunkin, Sonic Drive-In,
and it also is in the process of acquiring Subway.
So...
All the other ones are fun except for Subway,
but... but Jimmy Johns is the one to me
that's like, well, I hate the guy.
The guy that... when I didn't love the place
and then the guy sucked, it was like...
Right.
Now I'm gonna like double hate you,
you know what I mean? Yeah, it seems like both for personal
and for business reasons,
like some shitty things have been done to employees
and franchise owners,
and also like he's like,
one of those big game hunting guys.
I will say in their commercials,
they do portray Italians very well.
Uh...
I think the Brad Garrett commercials are funny.
Do you like the Brad Garrett commercial?
Definitely.
I don't even know what you guys are talking about,
the commercial way.
He's trying to stop Jimmy John's
and he keeps calling it Jimmy's John's,
which is funny, but he's playing like a big Italian guy
and be like, oh damn, Jimmy's John's
gonna put me out of business.
It's funny.
I like, you know, he's funny.
He's a funny guy.
It's a good, yeah, they're good commercials.
They're good ads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, and you know, they brought Jimmy John's back
a little bit in my mind, I guess.
It's like the, it's like the post-Jarred, you know,
any, like Charles Barkley, what an upgrade over Jared.
It's true.
You know what I mean?
But I don't know.
To me, these sandwiches in the past have been like,
and I said it today, like a little bit like airport sandwich-y, like, uh, like, uh, this is
like a sandwich I got in plastic at the airport and it's just kind of mayo-y.
Cause they, they, I, when I go to Jersey Mike's, they just lay on that oil and
that salt and pepper and that vinegar.
And it's like a big saucy sandwich.
And I really liked that about it.
Emma made a great point in that Jimmy John's, you can
toss in your bag and it will probably be good later
on and Jersey Mike's like the bread will turn to
mush eventually.
Sure.
Yeah.
But I like, I like that kind of like the vinegary
tasting side of a sandwich and here it's like more
mayo based, I feel like.
Look, we, we review different chains every week.
As far as I'm concerned, Jersey Mike's is one of
the most impressive chains
at its scale in any sector, like in any of the subdivisions.
So we can't really.
You guys love it so, so much.
Is it the toasted element?
The bread?
What is it?
I think they just have high quality product,
and I think they're well-assembled.
And I think they're really consistent
across different locations.
They have a flat iron grill, too, so they do cook their steak
and cheese on a grill.
Yeah.
Have you had it ever? I think I've had it once at the one by Walgreens They have a flat iron grill too, so like they do cook their steak and cheese on like a grill. Yeah.
Have you had it ever?
I think I've had it once at the one by Walgreens
in Hollywood.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know, it wasn't for me, but maybe I gotta try it.
You should give it another try.
I mean, I'm trying to think of what a good,
I mean, the Italian, I guess, would be my rec to get there.
I like the turkey provolone, it's a go-to for me.
Oh, the turkey's great.
Yeah, yeah.
The turkey I get probably the most. And I will say the turkey sandwich that they have here,
the Beach Club is usually my go-to at Jimmy John's,
though it had been some time,
and I decided not to get it this time
because I was like, I'm pretty familiar with that one.
I'm pretty familiar with the veggie,
which is another one that I like, Nellie likes.
But I think it's actually a really good veggie sandwich.
Yeah.
But I went in a different direction,
especially because they had some limited time offers
right now.
But Mary, before we get into it, I'm curious,
because you wanted to talk about Jimmy John's.
Why Jimmy John's?
I mean, I think it's so hard to get it delivered
to where I live now,
but when I used to work at the Second City in Chicago,
there was one right across the street.
So I just have a lot of memories of like being with friends,
having some subs.
So,
gathering around with my buzz and hitting the Jimmy John.
Also too, I remember when I was a kid and first tried it,
I loved that white bread.
There's nothing more Midwestern than that.
And the place where I used to go
would always have the hottest guys.
Like just kind of like an edgy guy
that went to the University of Illinois.
OK.
Yeah, just like guys with like a dark earring.
I just, yeah.
Hey, we got to check this one out.
Yeah.
This is like the Abercrombie and Fitch of subplaces,
it sounds like.
It's like the head go of subplaces.
A bunch of hunks working out there.
Yeah, it's a, that's interesting.
That's an interesting location specific,
but would you get, you mentioned delivery.
Would you get it delivered
or would you just go across the street?
Oh, we would just like run across the street
between shows, but yeah.
It's like, but I have to say I'm a little bummed
because I don't feel like they're as filled.
We were talking about this earlier in a depressive state.
I can have at least three of these sums at once. Yeah, sure like they're as filled. We were talking about this earlier. In a depressive state, I can have at least three
of these subs at once.
They're not huge.
But that's it.
But they used to be really pretty meaty,
and now they're just not that big.
That's a bummer.
Yeah.
From my first experience with them,
they were definitely meatier, which, again, too much meat.
But it was never too much meat.
It was just it felt substantial.
Yeah.
But I got the, Ithaca was the first place.
I was telling the story.
There was nothing in the commons,
like no commercial businesses in the commons in Ithaca.
And then Jimmy John's was like outside of the commons,
but it was like, oh wow,
there was like a chain restaurant here.
Right.
But this is also when, this is 2002 or three or something.
It's like Jimmy John's felt much smaller at that point.
Yeah.
No, it actually, like you can see, you can track its growth.
And it's one of those places that I talk about this
in the intro, but like in 2000, it had a hundred locations.
In 2007, it had like 500 locations.
In 2010, it had a thousand locations.
So it just like ramped up so so quickly.
Got it.
I'm not thinking that was I disappointed in their size back in the day too. It's interesting for me to be disappointed in someone's size.
But I maybe well you know that's also just an issue with me. I think I may always disappointed in the size of
sandwiches. I want them bigger. I'm disappointed in the size of everything.
sandwiches. I want them bigger. I'm disappointed in the size of everything.
But this was like a big, it was like a big, you know, like everyone was like, Oh my God,
Jimmy John's and like you gotta get the hot peppers on the sub and stuff like
that. And I was very excited to try it.
And I did like it like the first couple of times I had it like an Italian sub,
but there was also so much great local food that I like just kind of fell off of
it. I think convenience wise, it was that sort of thing of like,
when you're a young kid in college or a young 20-year-old,
you can get like 10 of those sandwiches for a good price
with a bunch of friends.
I would say that, first off, they do have delivery,
which I've never really taken advantage of.
I've lived close enough to a Jimmy John's
to have that happen,
but I know that's a thing that people like about it.
The other thing I will say is that from using the app,
the app is not crap.
The app is like well-designed.
It's like very, it's very modern
and it feels just like easy to customize
and specify what you want.
And so I think those are the kinds of things that make it,
like your local sub shop is not probably
not gonna have a good app.
You know what I mean?
So it's just things like that.
And it's also like they're everywhere,
especially depending on where you live.
The issue with LA is that they are kind of
sparsely distributed and they're in weird neighborhoods.
So I went to one last night by myself
and it's in Beverly Hills for some fucking reason.
Just the absolute worst part of the city.
Absolutely fucking sucks.
I hate going there, but I was like,
I wanna go to Jim and Joe.
That's where I wanna be honestly.
That's...
I'm sorry.
but I was like, I want to go to Jim and Tom. That's where I want to be, honestly.
That's...
I'm sorry.
I went there last night, and just to eat in store,
and I wanted to get this a couple times
because I wanted to try different things.
You can only eat so many sandwiches in one sitting.
So I had a...
So I went last night, and I tried one of their
limited-times offerings, which is the
Kicken Cajun Chicken Sandwich,
all natural chicken and provolone,
Creole chili pepper sauce, Jimmy peppers,
crispy jalapenos, onions, lettuce,
to mayo, oil and vinegar on French bread.
And their French bread is their signature.
And in fact, that's like the thing that built,
what are you doing?
Are you taking a pill?
Okay.
I guess I could have just barreled ahead
and let you do that while I was talking.
I dropped it down here.
It got like a little confused.
I probably made too much of a show of it.
Did you have to take it right now?
You just held up Vs with both hands like Nixon.
Vitamin B and Vitamin D. That's what I took. with both hands like Nixon. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It literally was, it was, one of them was a red pill.
But yeah, I looked more like Nixon.
Yeah.
That's just where my mind went.
Sorry to distract you, by the way, Lauren Lapkus
gave it four forks.
Yeah, she did.
Also someone who spent a lot of time in Chicago.
Yeah, yeah.
Is Jimmy John's a Chicago?
It's an Illinois original, yes?
I think that's right, yeah.
Yeah, it's from Illinois, yeah.
My issue, so there's two things that I remember.
Illinoisan, is that what you say, Illinoisan?
Sure.
Illinoisan.
Yeah, sure.
Uh.
I like to know demonyms.
Let him cook on this for a while.
Uh.
It's, cause Chicagoan, right?
Chicagoan, Illinoisan.
Um.
Jesus.
What's the demonym for Quincy? Quincy-in.
Is it really Quincy-in?
I don't know.
No one says it, I guess.
Quincy-in.
I'm a Chicagoan until Chicago ends, until we blow like Chicago wind.
That's Kanye.
That's good.
Mm, canceled.
Kanye's in a bit of trouble. He did take the red pill. I'm gonna have them turn Fox Nation on. What's it called? What is it?
Seven drinks?
What is the?
History in six drinks or whatever.
Six drinks.
I remember two things about Jimmy John's is that one, he's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. What is the... History in six drinks or whatever. Six drinks. Um, I remember two things about, uh, Jimmy John's
is that one is that people used to love the bread.
And I'm just, this is just coming...
This is just coming back to me.
The bread, like, the house was built on the bread.
So, like, when the concept starts,
and it's this 19-year-old who was given
this gigantic loan from his dad
that's a part of every self-made man mythology.
It's just like a race, just like hand-waved away.
Like, yeah, I got a huge loan from my parents.
And then I started my own.
My dad gave me 200 grand to start Doughboys.
We never told that.
We've never acknowledged that publicly.
We should talk about that.
But he was alive.
He'd be so mad at his investment.
So but back then, he had like store bought meats.
He was literally like getting meats from the grocery store,
but he was baking homemade bread.
And so the bread became the signature
and that's what the chain is known for.
That's very funny.
He was just buying like, well, I guess it makes sense.
You buy, you-
But that feels like it's cheating somehow.
It's cheating a little bit.
Yeah, I mean, I guess everyone has some sort of provider,
but that is like, you know, what the fuck?
You want it to be not store bought, I guess.
It's like you want it to be, they
have a deal with some farmer factory or whatever, I guess.
I don't know.
I never even thought about it this much,
but it does bother me for whatever reason.
Well, like the Jersey Mike's thing is they actually,
again, this is one of those things
where they have the deli meats in there,
and they're fresh slicing them to order.
I kinda like that, it's a little bit of showmanship.
No, it's great.
And honestly, I think there is a taste,
I think it makes it taste better.
The bread is such a funny thing to me
that the people are like, oh, the bread, wait to try it.
People love the bread.
We were talking about- You don't like the bread?
What we were talking about today is like,
it smells a little sweet.
I don't think the bread is bad per se,
but it's like such a cold loaf.
And this is the other thing that I remember
about Jimmy John's.
Is that when I-
Yeah, I think your gesture was absurd there.
It's such a cold loaf.
How's that?
It's such a cold loaf.
I'm cutting into the loaf.
It's such a cold loaf.
And I was raised on D'Angelo was my big sub chain.
And I mean, even Subway or whatever, like you can toast it.
But there's also hot, Jesus, spitting again,
there's also hot subs there.
No, they don't have hot subs here.
Jersey Mike's has hot subs.
Subway has hot-ish subs.
D'Angelo has hot subs.
So Jersey Mike, I went there and I was like, oh, I want like.
Jimmy Johns.
I'm sorry.
Jesus Christ.
Jimmy Johns, I went there and I was like, I want like a meatball
or I want a chicken parm
or whatever or steak and cheese.
And it's like, oh no, these are only cold sandwiches.
And that to me was like,
this just feels so much like an airport sandwich
of like cutting into this cold loaf,
putting stuffing turkey in there
and then wrapping it up with mayo and putting it on the shelf.
It just feels like a store-bought sub in some ways.
They don't heat their meat. And so something like the cake, the cake and Cajun chicken sandwich sounds like it on the shelf. It just feels like a store-bought sub in some ways. They don't heat their meat.
And so something like the cake, the Cajun Chicken Sandwich
sounds like it should come hot.
And it does not.
It does not.
It's a cold sandwich.
So that's a thing.
That's maybe a strike against the concept.
But I'm curious, like, do you like the bread?
I love the bread.
You love the bread.
And they used to sell it like the day old loaves.
Yeah.
Oh, I would just pound like two of those in a day.
Wow.
It's huge. When you make sandwiches, you're just eating bread. Just eating straight bread loaves. Yeah. Oh, I would just pound like two of those in a day. They're huge.
When you make sandwiches, you're just eating bread.
Just eating straight bread.
Wow.
Yeah.
That rules.
I mean, I love it.
Just get my covers up.
It's like right here.
Oh, it's so damn good.
Also, if you like the,
I understand the appeal, the showmanship of the fresh slice,
but I like Jimmy John's like lacy cut.
It's just like a very thin cut of the meat.
And I think that's really nice.
I will say, so I was at this Beverly Hills location
and it was like one of those, you know,
they were clearly did not have a lot of people
who dined in there.
It was almost all to, you know, to go delivery.
What's that?
You see anyone cool in there?
Hey, I'll take an East Coast Italian.
Mr. Nicholson. I did not see any celebrities, unfortunately, inside the Jimmy
Johns.
Make it to go.
I got to depart out of here.
He's referencing his own movies.
I'm trying to think of another one where it would work.
If this sandwich isn't ready soon, I'm going to have of another one where it would work. If this sandwich isn't ready soon,
I'm gonna have to take anger management.
Eee!
Laughter
So, no, that's not what happened.
Laughter
I'm, uh...
Excuse me, are the, uh, are the pickles fresh?
Oh, yeah, they are.
How do you know?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
His final film!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Which Calpagas talks about.
Actually, I think it might be like a main,
either Calpagas saw this, or it was a mainstream story of,
like, they were doing takes, Jim Brooks were doing takes
over and over again, and Jack Nicholson's like, Jim,
come on, I'm like, close to death, stop wasting my time.
Right, yeah.
Which is, gotta go eat a big sandwich on a yacht,
leave me the fuck alone.
Picking up Jimmy Johns in Beverly Hills.
Great guy, my favorite Lakers fan.
Yeah.
Mitch.
He he he.
I know what you did there.
I'll fly the cuckoos now. Anyway, so I'm in there.
There aren't any celebrities quoting their own movies.
But the guy, the people there were very nice.
The workers were very nice.
And the guy, I would say, made the shit out of my sandwich.
He's like, I got you. I'll take care of you right now.
And he made my sandwich very quickly and very well.
It was like a really well-constructed sandwich.
And I did appreciate that.
And I do feel like I get that level of control.
I got you.
You're right.
I know.
I like that.
No, I loved it.
Yeah.
Well, you could tell I was hungry.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't get my sandwich. No, he was a, the boys, the boys were very great. And I will say that, like, I feel like I've gotten this before at Jimmy John's, if it's just like,
whatever their assembly order of operations is,
it's pretty dialed in.
I'm not sure if your experience,
you've had more Jimmy John's than me,
but like, do you feel like it's a pretty consistent chain?
I do.
Yeah.
And I like that sort of like personalized care.
Yeah, sure.
It really works on me.
I don't know if you guys ever remember
the Sunset Sweetgreen.
There was a guy there that was like so nice.
And every time you'd be like,
oh, I'll have the romaine lettuce.
Romaine lettuce heard.
And the sweet potato, you got it.
Like every time I was just like,
I feel like a million bucks.
Yeah, so I get why you felt very taken care of.
I'm into that.
And I also got the jalapeno jimmy chips.
But what we should-
Let me tell you, I like the vibe in here.
It reminds me that I feel like I'm back in school.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Back in school.
All the hacky, literally for my SNL audition, I did Rodney Dangerfield.
I did like all eighties comedians.
They're like, we don't need any of these guys.
Which was just a stage audition. Wait, who else?
I did Gilbert Godfrey.
That's pretty good.
Pretty damn good.
And then I did, uh,
I also did Bobcat Goldthwait.
Why does he seem Middle Eastern vaguely?
I don't know.
That was my take on it.
Uh-oh.
I just do a bad Bobcat.
Rodney Dangerfield, rest in power, great career,
extremely funny comedian, passed away at the age of 82
in 2004.
First term of the George W. Bush administration,
the celebrity referenced.
The SNL showcase I did was in like 2010 probably.
Wait, who else? It's incredible.
I did, I said if Rodney Dangerfield was a, I think I've said this on the podcast before,
if Rodney Dangerfield was a comedian, say, let me tell you, I don't get no retweets.
That's what it was.
That's really good.
Problem is that's too good.
Oh my God.
And then I was like, here's Gilbert Godfrey
if he was a comedian today.
And then it was the same thing, let me tell you,
I get no retweets.
Like I did the same joke again.
I did one character, which we won't talk about because it's,
it would get me canceled.
Uh, and then I did, uh, I did under the seats,
which was a bad choice.
I did this thing.
You had an under the seat Perry.
It was a very funny bit.
It was a funny bit. I was just trying to get them
on my side basically, and so.
But it was a little referential of being
in a theater space.
I like it, I like that choice.
I was just trying to be funny, you know what I mean?
Like I was just, and then, I think I was successful
in that, I think people liked that.
You weren't there, what the fuck?
I wasn't there, I'm sure you were great.
Your friend Mitch is on the biggest audition of his life.
You're not there.
Not just my friend Mitch, many of my friends were there.
Yeah.
No, I did not attend.
And we did it too.
It was packed.
It was like, what am I gonna do?
Stand on the wings?
It would be nice.
These guys got this.
People were allowed to come?
Yeah, it was like, so I was just at the stage
where it was like all the producers were there.
Like it's barely even an audition.
I didn't go to, I didn't get,
they didn't fly me out to New York.
I'm sure you did great, Mitch.
These things, you can only control what you can control.
That's true.
But I do think you should have busted out
your other character, which you did mention, Don Kong,
the human inspiration for Donkey Kong.
That was a good character.
That was on my, when they asked me for a reel later on, that's what I sent in. I sent in Don Kong. That's a good character. That was on my, when they asked me for a reel later on,
that's what I sent in.
I sent in Donkey Kong.
Incredible.
Like, how you doing?
I was just shirtless wearing a red tie.
So Shigeru Miyamoto saw this guy in 1981?
It was Shigeru Miyamoto saw the guy,
and I threw a barrel at him. That's what it was. 1981. It was Shigeru Miyamoto saw the guy
and I threw a barrel at him.
I love that.
Also, I'm a big fan now of Funky Kong.
Yeah, Funky Kong rules.
We love Funky Kong.
You're saying this is the right people.
We love Funky Kong.
We love Funky Kong.
He's a war profiteer, which is a little problematic,
but other than that, he is a, he's just a cool character design. He's so cool. He's a war profiteer, which is a little problematic. But other than that, he is a,
he's just a cool character design.
He's so cool.
Did you play the Donkey Kong games?
Not the Donkey Kong game.
I like to play him in Mario Kart.
Okay, okay, okay.
I just love that every time you're like doing a jump,
he's like, yeah, like very surfboard guy.
You might want to, the issue with Nintendo games,
they never go on sale, but if you can maybe get it,
you know, whatever, get it a discount or something,
you might want to check out Donkey Kong Tropical Freeze
because it includes, on the Switch version,
includes Funky Mode, where you can play as Funky Kong.
And it's easier, because the game is hard.
It is a hard game.
But it's also just cool, you get to be like Funky Kong
being Funky getting your way through the levels.
Pretty good, he's a great character.
I love him.
If Funky Kong showed up in a Tarantino movie,
like if he was in Pulp Fiction, I wouldn't bat an eye.
I would be like, of course he's here.
He's cool as hell.
Yeah, he's great.
Yeah.
He should be, he should be in,
he should be in Pulp Fiction, that's all I'm saying.
Funky Kong should be in Pulp Fiction.
I mean, first let's get him in the next Mario movie,
I'd say.
And you know what, I think I know let's get him in the next Mario movie, I'd say. Well. God. And you know what?
I think I know who can voice him.
Very soon.
I thought you meant Rodney Danger.
All right.
OK.
So I mentioned the kickin kicking Cajun chicken that I was trying I was trying to figure out what the angle was that like I don't get no funk I like you know I couldn't figure it out what the bananas. I don't fucking know. I don't get no funk. You remember that the show is bad.
It's been a while.
We apologize.
The Cajun chicken wrap, I got to.
Yes, you got the wrap.
I got the sandwich.
I will say, I'm a bit of a heat seeker.
I also got the jalapeno jimmy's chips.
I thought there was some legit spice on the sandwich.
I'm curious what you thought.
It does have some heat.
It has some heat.
Yeah, yeah.
We all tried it. Emma, yeah. We, we all tried it.
Everyone, Emma, Amelia, Mary, myself, we all, we all took a bite of this rap.
Uh, we're all probably sick now.
Um, uh, but, um, I said that it, when, when we were talking about like airport
rap sandwiches, I was like, there's something about this wrap and maybe it's just the gummy
pita or something that feels so much like an airport sandwich.
But then there were tastes in there that I was like, but there's some
tastes that are better than what you would eat at an airport for sure.
Yeah.
Like that, like that Cajun sauce was decent.
The chicken was not, the meat was good.
You said the meat, and I agree, the meat was pretty good.
I agree with you though, like, why is the chicken cold?
I guess it just is a restaurant
that doesn't have any heated up food.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I think- It's fine, it's not bad.
I get what they're going for.
I do like the Creole chili pepper sauce they got on there
and I liked the little bit of crunch
from the crispy jalapenos.
There's a term for those too.
They're called like, you know,
Texas toenails or something,
right?
Like, isn't there a thing that they're
Isn't there a term for that, like a crunchy fried jalapeno?
Fucking thinking of now Ted Cruz toenails.
Fucking disgusting.
It's horrible.
I wish you'd never said it.
When I say are crispy jalapenos,
I didn't realize that they actually
are like fried jalapenos.
Yes, yeah.
Which I thought they added some nice texture to it.
They did.
Was that just in the, because I ordered two sandwiches.
I ordered that wrap and then I also ordered the East Coast Italian.
So, wait, oh shit.
We're both just searching on our devices for crispy jalapenos.
So the East Coast Italian, which was funny, Amelia said.
So I got the Kicken, Cajun, Chicken Wrap.
It's supposed to come.
So I didn't add anything to that one.
But did that come with the jalapenos in it?
It does, yes.
Okay.
And then I also got the number seven,
Spicy East Coast Italian,
which Amelia today was funny.
She said, I got an East Coast Italian
because I am an East Coast Italian. It was a funny line, why? She missed a good line, yeah. I did miss it because today was funny. She said, I got an East, I got an East coast Italian cause I am an East coast
Italian. It was a funny line. Why?
She missed a good line. Yeah.
I got that regular size on French bread, add pickles and jalapenos.
Here's the thing. Wow. I really, I was,
I was enjoying the Italian sub while I was eating it.
I was having a good time. Don't fight it.
And I was thinking about how I was like,
this is better than the Subway sandwich
I had the other day, it is.
There's no doubt about it.
It's way better than Subway.
I mean, they're not in the same category.
I do think that they do go like, I got mayo on it.
I just added the jalapenos and pickles.
I do wish that they went a little more vinegar over mayo.
Sandwiches are very mayo-y, and that to me makes it seem like a store sandwich because there's just
like this thick mayo on it. But it was, there were some really good bites I had in there,
not going to lie. And I like, because when I taste those herbs and I taste those peppers,
there's a lot of good flavor there. It's just, there's a lot of times I'm getting like,
especially with that Cajun wrap, I'm like,
I'm getting like a boring bite.
And that would happen sometimes too with the Italian sandwich.
But I was, it was pretty good.
It was pretty good.
It was not Jersey Mike's.
Sure.
But it was good.
It was good.
I was close with Texas toenails.
The term I was looking for was cowboy candy.
That's what I was thinking of for those Hall of Famers.
Cowboy candy.
So you're not close at all.
The same ballpark.
Yeah, I was right there.
Texas toenails?
I was right there.
No food would be called toenails, right?
If this was a Forrest Gump trivia,
I would have gotten the point.
There would be, bring me a scoop ice cream.
I'll run you out of side salad for sure.
I don't mean to go back, but I'm so curious.
You say you like chocolate.
What is your like, what's your Texas toenail of chocolate?
Yeah, what like, what is my favorite?
I, you know, I used to really like,
and we're talking chocolate candies.
I used to really like like Snickers. The chocolate candies, I used to really like Snickers.
The thing is, we've talked about this on the podcast,
I developed potentially a late in life nut allergy
that's kind of taken a lot of those candies off of the table.
He can't eat nuts.
It's combo.
No crim.
We have a code word for that,
a dirty word we say too much.
It's crim. It's canon, we're saying, we're, we have a code word for that, for dirt, a dirty word we say too much.
Yeah.
It's crim.
It's canonically crim.
Or flesh crema.
Or flesh crema, either one works.
Like a three, I used to like a three Musketeers
as like a mainstream candy bar.
Just like that one that, but, but I do like,
I like a mounds a lot.
I like a coconut.
And then also I like,
I, if we're just talking regular chocolate,
like just a very dark chocolate these days.
You do.
Yeah, cause I've gotten less into sweet.
Like I have less of a sweet tooth than I used to have.
So like, yeah, just a really like something
that's like 75% cacao or whatever.
By the way, you saying Texas toenails and saying it's like,
if you was Faris Gomp trivia, it's like,
if she asked you what's Faris wife's name
and you said Tammy toenail.
She sounds beautiful.
And you'd still want a point for that?
It's like a garbage pail kid.
Okay. Bring him back.
Bring back the garbage pail kids.
Today in studio, I was late,
but everyone was very patient with me.
I speed ate my sandwich, which I loved. Today, in studio, I was late, but everyone was very patient with me.
I speed ate my sandwich, which I loved.
I got the number three totally tuna.
I thought was a great tuna salad sandwich.
It comes with tuna salad, cucumber, lettuce, and tomato.
I added mayo and jimmy peppers,
cause I'm a bit of a heat seeker.
And I got it on their whole wheat bread.
And I love their whole wheat bread.
As much as people like, as Jimmy John's fans
like their default French bread, I think their whole wheat bread,
and Natalie shares his opinion,
is just, is a big improvement, is a big step up.
And so that's my preferred sandwich.
I had this sandwich, I was like,
I could eat this sandwich every day of my life.
This sandwich is great.
Wow. Wow.
It was nutritious and filling and delicious.
And do you think the tuna at Jimmy John's
compares to the Jersey Mike's tuna?
Yeah, I think so.
Wow.
I think so for sure.
But I rarely would get the tuna from Jersey Mike's.
I mean, I've done it.
But I would get the tuna from this.
Like this, the tuna or the veggie sandwich,
I would get like every time.
Or that beach club.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Those are all good sandwiches.
And on that whole wheat bread, it's a great bread.
Yeah.
It was a better outing.
I also got pickles.
We got pickles. They were quartered pickles? Is that what? Yeah, It's a great bread. Yeah. It was a better outing. I also got pickles.
I got a, I got pickles.
They were quartered pickles.
Is that what they were cutting the quarters?
The pickles.
Well, Unkar Plutt was preferring them.
Is that now also just like, you know, like
pop culture wise?
Yeah.
People don't care or remember Unkar Plutt.
Like it's like equivalent of doing Rodney Dangerfield,
right?
And I would say it's worse, probably, right?
It's less relevant.
The Star Wars movie from 2015 than a comedian
who died in 2004.
I think it is.
Saying one quarter portion is more dated than no respect.
I think so.
I think, honestly, you're right.
I think so.
The pickles are, they're like, you're right. I think so.
The pickles are, they're kind of like half-sours,
would you say?
Yeah.
They're good.
I like them.
I like the quality pickles.
I don't like when a pickle is too cucumber-y,
and then I want it more sour, like the more sour it is.
So I thought this one was OK, kind of in the middle.
It's a solid pickle.
I got the Jimmy Chips, which I think the Jimmy Chips are good.
I do like their Jimmy Chips.
And I got the salt and vinegar Jimmy I think the Jimmy chips are good. I do like their Jimmy chips. And I got the salt and vinegar Jimmy chips,
and they were decent.
And then why is we got the pasta salad.
Yeah.
The pesto pasta salad, I guess.
And it wasn't good.
It was bad.
Yes.
Mary, you don't love a pickle.
You passed on the pickles.
Yeah.
If I do, I like a spicy one.
A spicy one.
OK, sure.
But those look just a little saturated, like kind of heavy. Yes, if I do, I like a spicy one. A spicy one, okay, sure.
But those look just a little like saturated,
like kind of heavy.
Yes, 100%.
Are they crispy?
They have a decent texture to them.
They're decent crisp too.
It was funny because it was just like such in the middle.
It wasn't like the vinegary.
I like vinegar, obviously.
Sure.
And it wasn't, I've just been talking about how
if you put enough vinegar on a sandwich, I like it.
But so, I mean, that's the issue with Jimmy John.
I think it is like, if they put more, if they put, I gotta stop doing hand
gestures, if they put more, if they put more vinegar on it, I would, I would be a
fan of, and why is this not discreetly taking out cookies?
Um, and, and, uh,
Sorry, let me take a vitamin instead.
I did that pretty, I did that pretty good.
So the pickles were right in the middle.
The pesto bowtie pasta salad, that was the loser.
It doesn't need to exist.
There was a little crack in the container, so I wondered if something had got to it.
But then also it tasted, it tasted off.
It did, it did, it, you try, it did taste rotten.
I had a single piece.
It tasted-
It tasted off because I think it's not-
It tasted putrid, and then I was also realizing
it was biting it.
Again, I mentioned that I'm potentially
developing this late in life.
Nut allergy, figuring out pesto has like, that's in it.
So I had a single piece and I was like,
oh, I probably shouldn't have more than that
because I don't know how I'm going to react to it.
You got to get rid of this nut allergy.
It's not-
Yeah, I got to do it. We got to do some of this nut allergy. It's not- Yeah, I got to do it.
I'll figure it out.
By the way, I'm sitting on a butt pad today
and you got a back pack.
I got a back pillow.
I love this.
Emma got these for us.
How about that?
Thank you, Emma.
Oh, I'm glad they helped.
I'm glad you're liking them.
I think, and hopefully my posture is better
and I look less like shit.
No, you look like shit.
Okay.
Okay.
You have to pay extra for the pillows
that make you look better.
They're expensive.
Overall, I would say the outing today,
it brought Jimmy John's up a little bit for me.
Well, we also have, and I don't know
if y'all already tasted these,
but they have a seasonal red velvet cookie
and red velvet brownie, which we have,
which we can potentially taste and render our judgment on.
Well, let's do it.
But Mary, I wanna hear about your sandwich
and your experience.
I mean, I'm always gonna be a fan through and through.
I was a little disappointed in the amount of toppings,
including the meat and cheese.
Yeah.
And so now I don't feel like a monster
having pounded three in a day, but this, yeah,
it's not enough, but the quality,
the lacy cut on both the cheese and meat, I love it. Yeah. Here's one other issue but the quality, the lacy cut on both the cheesy meat. Yeah.
I love it.
Yeah.
Here's one other issue I have with Jimmy John's, which did happen again today towards the end.
They got the sub sandwich, then they put the meat in there and then they put everything
else in and then your meat sometimes just slides out.
It's almost like you're like, you got to push the meat back down into the bread.
Yeah, sure.
Bit of a tube.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, yeah, tubes up almost to where like,
I feel like the unwiches or whatever like work well
because it's just, the meat holds all the toppings
pretty well, but it slips out of that bun pretty easy.
I'm also confounded by their wrap situation
because their wraps, you can't like, I would be like,
oh, they got wraps, you can get any, I would be like, oh, they got wraps.
You can get any sandwiches a wrap.
No, there are three designated wraps
and those are your only options.
Only wets.
Yeah.
Only wet ingredients.
Yeah.
Really weird.
I thought it was like a dip in mayo on the outside.
It was so weird.
I know, the mayo, if you squeeze your sandwich,
it feels like the meat will be like, whoop,
and then go back down here.
What?
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, you know who does commercials with them are,
on TikTok, are the cast of Love is Blind, I think.
Whoa, wow.
Yeah, they do this red velvet specifically.
Oh, shit.
I'm like a celebrity.
Wow.
Well, Mary, I'm gonna give one to you,
and then Mitch and I can split one.
Oh, is that another brownie under there too? We could all split one. Oh, wait, no, there's a second brownie too. Okay, I'm gonna give one to you, and then Mitch and I can split one. Oh, is that another brownie? I would also like one.
Oh, wait, no, there's a second brownie too.
Okay, I know one.
But did you-
Guests don't like us touching their food.
I apologize if I missed this.
Did you say what sandwich you got?
Oh, I got the Vito,
which I think is like a sister to the Italian.
Yeah.
I'm trying not to crinkle this too much for people
with mesophonia.
What is the difference?
I'm going to look at what the difference is between the Vito.
Yeah, I think it's slightly less toppings.
When you went to the Beverly Hills location,
were you attracted to the people that
were assembling your Santa?
I know you're a married man.
I know you're a married man.
It was a, yeah, they were young people.
They're a bit young for me.
OK, fair.
But it was like a, whatever. It was a, you know, they were, they were young people. They're a bit young for me. Okay, fair.
You know, it was like a, whatever, it was a young, I don't know, I don't know how to
re- respond to this.
Well, you didn't respond well.
No, I was not attracted to the teenage Jimmy John's employees.
Too old. Christ.
That's not bad.
It's not bad.
For some reason, they insist on putting white chocolate with the red velvet.
I think it's just because of the look, but it's not bad.
It's not bad. Nice balance, I think. of the look, but. It's not bad. It's not bad.
Nice balance, I think, not too, too sweet.
It's not bad.
Did we try the red velvet brownie?
How do we feel about opening one of these
and just passing around a little chunk?
OK, I'm going to do that for now.
Mary, I'll let you get first.
No, please, please, please get out of it.
I'll grab a little chunk here.
Jersey Mike's has gotten rid of their brownies
and they had such a great brownie. Oh.
I've kept my hat off the whole time.
It's going back on.
That brownie's not bad.
I like the curls.
I'm a curly boy.
People don't know that about me.
I'm a little curly guy.
Do you not know that about me?
Yeah, except below the waist.
Pin straight.
You think I got straight pews?
Is that what you're saying?
Is that what you said?
Is that the same question you had?
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
That was the implication, yeah.
Now this is weird.
I feel like the cookie is more brownie texture
than the brownie.
Right.
The brownie's not bad.
I don't get any red velvet from the brownie.
No.
Just tastes like chocolate.
It tastes like chocolate brownie.
And you know what?
I kind of like it more maybe because of that.
It's good. They're both good. It just tastes like chocolate. It tastes like chocolate brownie. And you know what? I kind of like it more maybe because of that reason.
It's good.
They're both good.
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Let's get to our final thoughts on Jimmy John's I almost just said Jersey mics. Our final thoughts on Jimmy John's I'm
gonna go first. Because I want to establish a baseline here.
Obviously, Jimmy John, not a great guy. Obviously, work
capital, not a good organization.
But I think their product is pretty good.
And that's what we have backed ourselves into the corner we reside on, Mitch, is or in,
depending on what kind of corner you're thinking of.
These companies are all bad companies.
They're all shitty. They mostly treat their workers poorly and they
source their ingredients from, you know, poor black or
business. It's so so the podcast, I mean, our specific
podcast conundrum, right? We chose to do a fast food podcast.
There's a lot of monsters. Yeah, for sure. Specifically, he's
just so brazen that guy. He like, he like were talking about before, he's like, posted like trophy
hunter pictures and shit like that.
Which look, I eat meat.
So there's some people who were vegan who look at me as like a monster for eating
meat, but like anyone who-
It's also just some villagers with torches that look at you as a monster.
I'm not a fucking Frankenstein.
porches that look at you as a monster. I'm not a fucking Frankenstein.
What the fuck?
Also, if I was a Frankenstein, I'd be giving a lot of guff for some of the parts he used.
Couldn't he fucking, couldn't he have done a little bit better in some areas, you know
what I'm saying?
There's a few different things.
Did you dig up a toddler for this hog?
What are we doing here?
Exuma's stillborn baby for this thing?
I meant like my penguin fingers.
I think anyone who like, look, my great uncle, Tisto, he's a hunter, but he also like uses, anyone who like kills endangered species, I don't like hunting as a sport.
I think herding and killing animals for sport is bad.
I think it's-
And this guy is like, wants to post pictures of him
killing like, endangered animals.
He's fucking, he sucks.
Look, I think it's a better life to be a duck or a deer
killed in the wild by a hunter
than a pig raised on a factory farm.
I think there is not a big moral argument
to be made against hunting in general
if you are someone who consumes industrially produced meat.
I fully understand that.
However, I agree with you.
I think there is-
He hunted elephants.
I think there is some clarity between-
And I love elephant meat, so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There is some daylight between just general hunting
and fishing as hobbies and specifically big game hunting,
which is something that rich assholes do because they can.
And so I think it's something.
I know people who hunt in that,
in I would say the normal way.
I was in fucking Boy Scouts.
I knew hunters, yeah, of course.
The hell, you were hunting the most dangerous game?
I got a little cut there this morning.
Do you ever think about being hunted for sport? I got a little cut there this morning.
Do you ever think about being hunted for sport? Cause I'm like, I think I could outsmart the hunter.
I think I'd survive.
You are so out of your mind.
You also say that if we got a fist fight,
you could outlast me by just like running around.
I think, no, I think I have the advantage in cardio
where I could like kind of rope and dope you.
You're obviously bigger than me.
You're stronger than me and you're, you've got better reach.
Wanna go out back and test it out?
This is where this came from.
That's the last episode.
We're gonna step outside
and just fucking beat the shit out of each other.
Hey, both the boys are crying.
This started as a little bit more of a wholesome exercise,
which is back in the day on the podcast,
you insisted that if you wanted,
you could grab me and put my head in the toilet.
And I was like, you're not gonna be able to do that.
I can either wiggle away from you
or I'm strong enough to outlast you until you get fatigued
and you don't have the strength to put my head in the toilet.
I don't think you could dunk my head in the toilet.
Like it was like, the thing was
from where you were sitting now and where I'm sitting now,
you're gonna at a certain point, grab me, pick me up,
go to the headgum bathroom, put my head in the toilet
and flush it without me escaping.
I'm gonna wriggle away at some point.
You can get my head in the toilet.
I've won, I don't think you could fit it in there.
I don't think you could do it.
Hey, the doughboys clogged the toilet again.
What else is new?
With their heads this time?
I go back on the brownies, it's actually had a little bit more and it's not great.
It's not great. It's fine.
Anyway, wait, what were we talking about?
We were talking about Jimmy John, a bad man.
Oh, elephant hunter.
Yeah, Jimmy John, a bad man and big game hunting.
You're hunting turkey and deer.
I don't do that and I don't love it.
But also, like, it's okay. I understand that it happens and I don't do that and I don't love it. Yeah. But also like it's okay.
I understand that it happens and I don't,
I'm not saying you're a bad person for doing it.
No.
But elephant hunting, what the fuck are you doing?
Yes.
You're a piece of shit.
That's a piece of, that's a piece of shit.
Yeah.
And I don't know, I believe he has like tried to walk
that back or apologize or whatever, but you know, whatever.
He has?
I think so.
I think at a certain point he did do that.
Oh, five forks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Here's the deal.
Don't hunt any animals in Africa.
How is that?
Unless you actually live in Africa
and you hunt the animals for food,
don't go to Africa and fucking hunt any animal.
How is that?
Trying to think of the Redditor angle here.
They'll get mad somehow.
They will.
But I think that that's not a hard rule.
If you're an American, don't go to Africa and hunt.
How's that?
That's not that tough of a thing to follow.
Maybe simpler just to say a big game hunting is bad,
like just kind of anywhere.
Hunting for sport versus hunting for food?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure.
I mean, like, whatever. We know what you're talking about. You're talking about shooting, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. I mean, like, whatever.
We know what you're talking about.
You're talking about shooting, like, endangered animals
or protected animals.
That's its own thing.
And you know I believe in the freedom to carry.
So.
So.
I don't love their default bread.
I do love their veggie sandwich on whole wheat.
I do love their whole wheat bread in general.
I thought that tuna sandwich was great.
I thought the Cajie sandwich on whole wheat. I do love their whole wheat bread in general. I thought that tuna sandwich was great.
I thought the Cajun chicken sandwich was fine.
I liked the Jimmy chips.
I liked the pickles.
Red velvet cookie, not bad.
Red velvet brownie, nothing right home about.
Look, what are we doing here?
This is a four fork chain.
Jimmy John's deserves four forks.
It deserves to be in the golden plate club.
I went three and a half last time we reviewed.
It's not Jersey Mike's, but what is?
And there's a reason there's daylight
between four forks and five forks in the same way
that there is daylight between duck hunting and lion hunting.
This is gorgeous.
This is gorgeous, Nick.
Yes.
But this is a four-fork chain.
Four forks.
Mary, your thoughts, your forks score is a four fork chain, four forks.
Mary, your thoughts, your fork score.
I mean, it's an instant classic.
I loved it back in 98, and I love it back in 2024.
Wow.
The bread has stayed consistent, and I really
appreciate that.
The lacy cut is excellent.
I have to dock it some points for not enough meat and cheese,
so I give it 4 and 1 half.
4 and 1 half forks.
One, I get score.
Which falls to you.
What does amendment is the right to bear arms?
What is it?
What does it mean?
Oh, I thought it was the second, but I know if that was the first freedom of speech.
Yeah.
I wasn't sure if it was first or second.
I got confused.
Relax.
I guess it wouldn't be right to bear arms.
I just didn't know if the freedom of speech was the second. I look. Wait, before you route, I do, I want be right to bear arms. I just didn't know if the freedom speech was the second.
Look.
Before you wrap, I do.
I want to ask you two things.
What is the, what was the-
The law amendment related?
What's your problem?
The Nicholson movie where is the small dog
that he feeds from his-
Oh, as good as it gets?
As good as it gets.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And secondly, have you ever gotten a fistfight?
I have been in fistfights before.
You have?
Mostly, almost purely with friends.
Okay. Okay.
I fought this guy, Kyle Piazza.
He's passed away.
Rest in peace.
Uh, I know, I know it's a sad ending, but he was, I remember we like said stuff to
each other in English class and then KristaCamber was like, it's like,
you guys should fight.
And then we were both like, all right.
And then we went to like the basketball course.
It was, I was a sophomore.
It was like a setup fight and like a lot of the football team was there.
And Kyle was such a nice guy.
He could have destroyed me and I was sitting there punching him in the face,
and he wouldn't punch me back in the face.
He wouldn't hit me in the face.
And also, I think it was pillows punching his head.
He didn't care.
But Adam Wu was there, and Adam Wu went,
this is the worst fucking fight I've ever seen in my life.
And then I swung at him, and I ripped his chain off
accidentally, and I was like, I'm so sorry.
Like this happened during the fight and I felt really bad.
You took your pill, you had to take it off.
Damn.
And then I felt really bad about it later.
And then after that, Jemmy's up for this.
After that, we always had like, I
think it was always a thing between us
that we were like, that was stupid what we did.
Like, we didn't want to even do it.
Right.
It felt like we were pressured into it.
Like, people were laughing at us while we were fighting.
But Kyle was a tough kid, and he would have kicked my ass.
And rest in peace, Kyle.
Very sad.
He passed away from leukemia years later.
But he was a nice kid who would have easily kicked my ass.
But other fights besides that were with friends. You kinda had it.
One of my friends, I gotta bleep it out if I tell you,
almost bit through my cheek.
Yeah, right.
Oh my God.
Can you bleep these two?
I fought and in the same night.
Wow.
Together?
Yeah.
Almost, I was fighting and then came over
and started punching me in the side
and I was like, your brother's biting my face.
And then started beating up.
He like changed from me to fighting.
I don't know how we're going to edit around this
because by you saying your brothers,
people are going to be able to figure out
which of the Quincy Cruz you were naming.
There's some Quincy Cruz that are brothers that I.
Okay.
All right.
Maybe one long day.
Yeah.
Well, one of them, the long bleed. Yeah. Yeah.
And then the other guy I fought,
I was on top of him when I was holding down his hands
and I was punching him and then I started to bleed
and he went, I made you bleed.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha, I was laughing.
These are the strangest.
You know who that is.
Yeah, fucking Dracula.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha.
Mitch, it falls to you.
Your thoughts, your fork score.
Oh man, I had something to say, now I forgot it.
What was the whole tangent?
Well, before we got into fist fights.
We were talking about trophy hunting.
Trophy hunting, we were talking about cookies, brownies.
Yeah, shit, I'm not gonna remember.
It's okay.
This was a much better outing by Jimmy Johns.
I, I, I thought it was much, much better.
Yeah.
Um, I don't like the guy, but you know, like you can't hold that over the
rating of the chain, I guess you can, it can come to effect a little bit.
It's still not a golden play club member to me, Wikes.
I'm sorry.
I think it was a great outing.
I, I, I think that, uh, it, think that it does what it tries to do pretty well.
It's 3.5 forks.
Three and a half forks, wow.
Okay, a good score.
Better than average.
Yeah, I think we were all pretty impressed
by this Jimmy John's outing.
And hey, that's where it lies.
Oh, the Second Amendment, I was gonna-
Great, here we go.
It was the Second Amendment.
Yeah. Just say that right down the barrel of the lens.
It was the second amendment.
You're talking about the second amendment.
I've been watching the John Adams mini series lately.
Yeah, it's a real mini series.
Yeah, it's really good.
Yeah, I never watched it.
You like it?
It's great.
The one from many years ago?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With Paul Giamatti.
Paul Giamatti, it's great.
It's really good.
Holdovers, anyone?
Loved Holdovers. Holdovers is a lot of fun. I liked it, yeah. I couldn't believe Giamatti. Paul Giamatti, it's great. It's really good. Holdovers, anyone? Loved Holdovers.
Holdovers was a lot of fun.
I liked it, yeah.
I couldn't believe he could act with that contact in his.
I know.
I can't do, if I wear a turtleneck,
I'm like, I don't remember my line.
Like, this dude is fully, anyways.
Yeah.
And very impressive.
It was impressive.
It was very impressive.
Good movie.
Good thing the Faroes got questions
weren't about the amendments.
That would be fucking screwed.
Do you know the Third Amendment?
That's a tough one.
Is it like some sort of church one?
No, the third one is about having to be being forced to house soldiers in your home.
Oh, right. Okay.
What's the tenth one? The tenth one's big too, isn't it? to be being forced to house soldiers in your home. Oh, right. OK.
What's the 10th one?
The 10th one's big too, isn't it?
Oh, boy.
Now, this is the back end of it is where, yeah,
because I think 9 and 10 are both similar.
And I think they maybe have to do with how Congress
is apportioned or something.
But I'd forget it.
The soldier one that you have to house them, is that the?
No, it's that you are, because this
was an abuse of the crown. I see. Are soldiers going to, you have to provide them? Is that the- No, it's that you are, because this was a thing that, this was an abuse of the crown is they were like,
are our soldiers going to,
you have to provide them room and board.
And they were like, no, we can't do that.
They're gonna live in a barracks.
They're not going to live in people's houses.
Yeah. Got it.
This was a ban.
That's a good one.
That one's doing well.
They're all doing great.
All right, well that was our review of Jimmy John's.
We have a segment to do, but I do have something
I want to talk about real quick because it's related to me
going to Jimmy John's last night.
So I parked at the Beverly Hills location.
It's a weird stretch where, again, it doesn't really
make sense for this place to be here.
But as I'm walking between from where my car is,
parked at a meter on the street and where the Jimmy John's is,
there was an old school newsstand.
Like, it's like, you know, like how often do you see that?
Like a newsstand that's still in operation
that just has like racks of magazines.
And I'm walking by this.
Is he gonna beat off Mag or no?
Well, here's the thing, Mitch.
I walk by this stand and I look over,
they have like vintage Playboys
and vintage Penthouse magazines.
Wow.
Like in plastic and that are just there on display.
And I go to Jimmy John's, I eat my meal,
I come back, I'm on the way there.
And there's like people all over the place
like swarming this, not swarming,
but they're like walking by curiously
like looking at the offerings of this newsstand
because it's got a lot of pedestrian traffic.
And so I talked to the guy, I was like,
I was like, hey, how's business?
You know, you don't see a lot of newsstands anymore.
And he's like, oh yeah, we started selling vintage stuff.
And I realized they don't just have porno mags,
they also have vintage sports illustrated
and vintage Rolling Stones and stuff.
He's like, yeah, we started selling vintage mags
and now people come by to check those out.
And it's like, oh, that makes a lot of sense.
That's a really smart way to have this sort of
dying business
extend its shelf life.
Anyway, what that long prelude brings me to is,
Mitch, I got you a gift.
Wow.
I saw something that I thought would appeal to you.
I got a couple of things.
The first thing is actually for the studio.
I thought just like a nice little bit of history
and maybe something that we could have
like as part of our backsplash,
commemorating our biggest hog president,
Lyndon Baines Johnson.
Wow.
This is a Time Magazine.
Wow.
From November 29th, 1963.
Holy shit.
And yeah, this is the man who was attached to Jumbo,
which is what he called, he nicknamed his hog.
Very uncreative nickname for a big hog.
Yes.
Hey, this is my big dick, big.
Yeah, I guess it's accurate.
But that's for the studio, but Mitch, this is for you.
I hope it's a-
RIP to a legend.
I got you WWE superstar China's Playboy.
Wow!
So there you go.
Yes!
Wow, I am gonna honor her memory.
I'm gonna be nice.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
Oh boy.
I actually liked talking to the guy
because he was clearly like,
he'd been in the business for a long time
and he'd figured out how to keep it going.
And this place was so old,
it had one of those manual credit card machines.
Do you ever remember those?
Oh, yeah.
The pre-digital era.
Yeah, yeah.
And were they like, Mitch, you remember these, right?
Where they do a physical imprint of your card.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he takes my credit card
and he has to put it in this machine
and then he has to run it like that.
And I guess it's, I don't's out of his low on ink or whatever,
but he, like, doesn't get a good imprint of it.
So he's like, I need to just, like,
I'm just gonna write down the number, so I have it.
So...
Yeah, I know, so I have it for the transaction.
And so I'm sitting there on the street,
a lot of pedestrian traffic,
holding a Playboy magazine for my friend...
ALL LAUGHING
...reading my credit card number to this guy
aloud as he is writing it down in pen.
And he writes it down, and then he writes on the expiration
date and the three-digit code or whatever.
Actually, it was a personal card,
but I could have used the Doughboy's card.
It feels less like a gift if I use the Doughboy's card.
And then he, of course, is like, hey,
and I also just need your name.
And I was like, oh, it's Nick Weiger.
He's like, no, I need your full legal name.
And I tell him, well, my full legal name
is Nicholas Frankweiger.
And sometimes I go by Frank,
which means it's time for this week in Hot Dog News
in a new edition of Let Me Be Frank.
Wow.
Wow.
Was any of that true?
No.
You just had this magazine?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Hot dog simmering the city.
Grate on my grill getting greasy and gritty.
Toast bun donut look pretty.
Sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty
Pork and beef, sausages and longbread Rolling on a rolling grill, mustard and relish
One bite, it's a different world Swap dog bites with a girl
Munch on, munch on and chomp all night Just bite on the farts, it'll be alright
That taste, when the casing has snapped Later that day, you'll for sure have to nap
As it simmers in the city like you're sucking
on a titty.
You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time.
You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time.
You ain't never been a burger and you ain't no lunch of mine. Well they
said you a sandwich. Well that was just a lie. They said you a sandwich. Well that was
just a lie. You're just a bun around a wiener so you sure don't qualify. Hehehehehehe
Rank your heart with mine Let your hot dog roll take bites
Taste me through the night Down, down, down by the wiener
Down, down, down by the wiener Down by the wiener, eating bun and dog.
Mustard kraut where you belong, chili cheese coney.
Down, down, down by the wiener.
Down, down, down by the wiener
Down, down, down by the wiener
What fucking song was that?
Right now you may not want to eat anything.
Maybe you never wanted to eat anything and maybe it's not to me you want to speak about
these hot dogs, but eat something you obviously did.
Look, you had a beautiful Frankfurter.
Maybe more than a Frankfurter. i.e. two frankfurters.
And I envy you.
In my place, most parents would hope the whole glizzy goes away, or pray that their sons
want to eat a taco instead, but I am not such a parent.
We rip out so much of our diets to be cured of meats faster than we
should that we go frank-rupt by the weight of 330 and have less to order each time we
go to a new restaurant. But to eat nothing, so as not to eat anything? What a waste. Of
food. Have I spoken out of turn?
Then I'll say one more thing.
It'll clear the air, which smells like hot dogs.
I may have come close, but I never ate what you two ate.
Something always held me back.
Or I filled up on bread.
How you fix your meals is your business.
Just remember, our mouths and our stomachs are given to us only once and before you know
it, you have IBS.
And there comes a point when no one cooks for it much less wants to feed it.
Right now, there's rumblies.
Stomach pain.
Don't kill it.
And with it, the hot dog you ate
that's Oscar Mayer now I don't think he does that was call me by your Frank okay So I am going to go ahead. It's LeBorn.
There you go.
He's kissing the glass.
He's...
I think he heard,
Let me be frank.
So we are going to search for hot dog news.
And I admit you're going to use Google.
I'm going to use my preferred search for hot dog news. And Mitch, you're going to use Google.
I'm going to use my preferred search engine, Microsoft Bing.
Mary, as a Chicagoan, spent some time in the city.
Do you have any hot dog opinions?
I want to be on the fucking show.
Oh, we'd love to have you on.
Come on in time.
Damn it, man.
No one's ever done this to us before.
That's what I do when you guys are having a fucking good time. It's like, oh, you're going to be on our show?
I'm like, no.
You're welcome to come on any time.
We'd love to have you.
We just will tell you, you'll regret those words.
You will not write the show.
It's good.
I'm not going to regret it.
I'm going to be reaching out.
All right, we love it.
Please come on.
We'd love to have you.
Wow. Bye. See to have you. Wow.
See ya.
Wow.
Wow.
We booked a guest.
It's that easy.
We'll have a lot to talk about on that episode.
I'm so glad he didn't come in here while I was singing my hot dog parody of the song,
the song from Baldur's Gate 3.
I figured that's what it was from.
Jesus Christ.
A song no one knew,
no one knew what the fuck you were singing.
I would guess, thank you, Ray.
I'm sure many, many people.
I would guess 80% of our listenership knows that song.
How did I do with Call Me By Your Name?
I had never seen it. Was that close?
You did a great job. You're a good actor.
You're a very good actor.
I was, I felt okay.
I was trying to look sad looking at you,
but like, it's like, that's like a hard thing to pull off.
I'm impressed by actors.
You look at Timothy Chalamet and he's just like,
the sadness he conveys with his eyes
when he's just looking at his dad.
Actors. We couldn't high five correctly, but we still... Wow. One more time. You look at Timothy the Chalamet and just like the sadness he conveys with his eyes when he's just looking at his dad.
Actors. We couldn't high five correctly, but we still.
Wow. One more time.
It's hard. Yes. Take two.
Just look sad with your eyes silently.
Please cut that first one.
So we're going to look for hot dogs. I'm sorry. Hot dog opinions. Any hot ones?
Any hot takes on dogs? Yeah.
Um, sorry, guys, I'm not into the Costco dog. Wow. Okay. Hot ones? Any hot takes on dogs? Yeah.
Sorry guys, I'm not into the Costco dog. Wow, okay.
I like how big it is, but I don't like the burps afterwards.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's fair.
When you have a hot dog that you do like,
do you have a set, a series of toppings
you like to throw on there?
I either like it full Chicago style, mustard, pickle, you know, spicy peppers,
but either that or like a ballpark dog, nothing on it.
Oh, that's fun.
Just a plain dog.
Yeah, plain dog.
Mitch, how often do you do a plain dog?
I will sometimes like a plain dog.
If I'm like at a cookout and like things are kind of wrapped
up, I'm like, yeah, I'll take like a lukewarm dog
in a bun and I'll be happy. Yeah, sure, why not? Yeah. No, that's fun, yeah, I'll take a lukewarm dog and a bun,
and I'll be happy. Yeah, sure, why not?
No, that's fun.
Especially if you got a nice soft roll, too.
If you got one of those Wonder Bread rolls.
Yeah. Like steamed buns?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good.
I'm gonna go first, because this first topic that I got on Bing
is oddly relevant to what we just talked about.
This is from the Daytona Beach News Journal.
How does Costco keep the price of its hot dogs so cheap?
When the new Costco at one Daytona
opened for business Thursday morning,
most customers immediately began shopping.
Daytona Beach residents Jeremy Bauersocks and Terry Deardorff
made a beeline instead for the store's food court.
Their first purchase, Costco's famous $1.50
quarter pound all beef hot dog
and 20 ounce soda combo along with a $1.99 slice of pizza. Cheapest breakfast in town
said Deirdorf as she and Bauersock sat down to eat. How about that? And apparently they
have calculated that the combo meal they charge $1.54 should at least be $4.25 when factoring
in inflation. So they are taking a loss on it.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Also, no offense to those people in that article,
but those names sound completely fake.
They do sound like, yeah, they 100% do.
Jeremy Bowersox and Terry Deardorff.
I mean, it's in the paper, so you can say it aloud.
Here we go.
Donna Kelsey, mom of Travis Kelsey, and Taylor Swift's BF
wigs.
That's true.
She ruined the NFL this year.
Sheer's favorite hot dog and wine
pairing ahead of the Super Bowl.
I love that she's favorite hot dog and wine
pairing ahead of the Super Bowl.
Add ketchup.
So this is from a little bit ago,
cause we're recording while after the Super Bowl.
Sure, I mean, it's hot dog news.
Yeah, sure. What you want from me.
Add ketchup and mustard and pair it
with my favorite barefoot Pinot Grigio,
and you've got a simple classic.
Okay, here's a question.
Mary, are you a drinker?
You like a cocktail?
You like a glass of wine?
Not so much anymore. Not so much anymore?
Yeah.
Did you, were you ever at a period,
cause I do like doing this,
and we mentioned Paul Giamatti,
he does this in sideways,
a glass of wine with some trashy food
is actually kind of fun.
And a particular way I like is like Popeyes fried chicken
with like a glass of Pinot Noir,
like a lighter red, a lot of fun.
Okay, that is a nice pairing.
I might start drinking again for that pairing.
That sounds good as hell.
What do you like at Popeyes?
I really like just their spicy chicken.
Me too.
That's great.
I like their red beans and rice to me.
That's a top two side. Really good.
Although I don't eat pork anymore and it's made with pork
and so that's a bummer.
Pretty good fries.
I love all their sauces. Good fries.
I like their biscuits.
I also, that chicken sandwich,
I know it's been memed to death,
but it's a great chicken sandwich.
Are you, do you like pork or the beef hot dogs?
Are you which one?
I don't think I'm picky. I like them all.
I'm and I like pork, but I also like boiled dogs, which I do like a boiled dog.
Yeah, why not? I'll do that.
Consumption of teas, takeout hot dogs could come with a side of forever chemicals.
Oh, it's not fun to read. Oh boy.
Oscar Meyer hot dogs, the Kool-Aid man in Sriracha immortalized as switch controllers. Why? Is this will bring us into-
Wow.
McDonald's is doing manga. Have you seen that?
Yeah.
I mean, we got texted about, I am very interested in checking it out.
We text about this on the text, I'm saying.
Yeah.
But I- I have different interested in checking it out. We got to, we text about this on the text, you know what I'm saying? Right, yeah.
But I-
I have different taste in manga.
Yeah.
We do not want to hear what it is.
But I think-
No, I want to see what we should read it.
We should do it for the podcast.
And I want to taste the sauce,
the McDonald's sauce,
I want to do with it.
Here's one.
It's exciting.
I think that's, I think that is,
I know it's a corporate thing,
but I think that's a cool promo to do.
Look, I think, I think like,
there are a lot of creative people who work in marketing
and come up with some like clever things.
And so like when they did like the KFC game or whatever,
it's just like, yeah, I know that I understand
that this is a marketing stunt.
I get what you're doing,
but still I can still appreciate this
because I think they made an interesting effort at this.
Okay, here's one.
A hot dog salad is the fresh twist on the classic
worth giving a try.
This picture does not look appetizing.
Does that look like something you'd want to eat?
I don't like that they kept it as a full link.
Yeah, no, that looks gross.
No, that looks horrifying.
It looks disgusting.
Looks nasty.
Why is another one that plays this?
Ohio man complaining about raising food prices
eats Costco hot dogs for an entire week.
Wow. Best $43 I've ever spent.
Foxbusiness.com.
How many dogs?
That's a lot.
Yeah, that must have been a lot of, that-
They're $1.50 each.
They're $1.50, yeah, holy shit.
A hot dog salad is just what it sounds like.
All the typical toppings of a Frank, Chicago or otherwise,
stewed atop a, or I'm sorry,
served atop a bed of greens rather than a bun. With so much overlap in the Venn diagram
of a Chicago dog and a salad,
I'm not sure how you feel about that,
the pairing is natural, but it isn't the only path forward.
And I think the rest is paywalled.
Uh...
Yeah.
I think the sad thing is there's so many
that are just like, like, famed hot dog place shutting down,
which is just a bummer.
That is a bummer. The other, which is just a bummer.
The other thing that is always a bummer,
can we just put earmuffs on Jemmy real quick?
There's always also a lot of like
dog trapped in hot car articles that come up.
And then when I yelled at Bing about it,
then Bing was like,
well, I don't know what you want me to do.
Like, it's just like, it's hard to sort these out.
When I yelled at the Bing AI.
You and Bing getting into a fight.
Yeah.
Two AI's getting into a fight with each other. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Look how fuckin' we look like we've, like, we Pokemon evolved into like bigger versions of ourselves.
Yes, yeah.
You're tiny.
Yes.
You look like a runner in this photo.
And I actually, I look thin.
We have like V-shaped torsos there.
That's insane.
Yeah, we look positively lean.
With Lauren Lapkus.
This is what six years of eating.
That's insane.
Of eating fast food for content does to a man.
Holy shit. We look like runway models. Michelle Obama should fucking, Michelle Obama should just
use these photo of us now and this photo. And we're next to a famously slim guest, Lauren Lapkus.
It's not like we're there with the commissioner. That'ser. The three, that's our three musketeers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's like, you've got a comparison point.
We look great.
We're looking good there.
I thought I was the fattest person.
Now I'm just like, I'm so much, I'm like a hundred,
it looks like I'm a hundred pounds more, whatever.
Here's the issue.
You never feel good about your body.
That's just being a human being.
You're just never comfortable in your own skin.
And there's never a way you get to
that will make your life better.
And also time cruelly marches on.
Exactly, yeah.
Is the other thing.
Yeah.
Uh-oh, relax, the Hollywood Handbook boys are out.
We're just gonna relax.
Uh, they're here.
Think they'll be as nice as Lamorne?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
They're not looking this way.
All right, we're in good shape.
Let's just end the episode.
Well, we have to do a question.
Also, I think the longer we stay in here, the less likely we are to be bullied.
Okay.
Hey, just let me be frank.
Chef Kevin's looking at us. Chef Kevin's looking at us, and Chef Kevin is pointing at us.
He's cool.
Oh, god, Sean sees us.
All right, go on.
Get to the question, please.
Just like a restaurant, evaluate your feedback.
Let's open to the feedback.
We actually have, if we want to grab our cans again,
we have a voicemail today.
So we can listen to this.
Is he coming?
He's not coming to the door, is he? No, we're doing it.
Oh, he's at the door.
He's at the door.
He's at the door.
Hey, buddy.
Holy shit.
Hi, Sean.
He's at the door.
We want, we, now that you're here,
Nick and I want to invite you to a double.
We want you and, we want you and Hayes to do a double.
Oh, I've been downgraded from the flagship. you're here Nick and I want to invite you to a double we want you and we want you and Hayes to do a double
Oh I've been downgraded from the flagship
Shawn, Jimmy is sniffing Shawn
Sorry
We love you it's good to see you
We'd love to have you back of course
Yeah yeah we love you and I've heard that before
Probably every other month for the past five years
I've been on the goddamn fucking show.
I said, I'm done being polite about it.
I want to be on the show.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, we got a double picked out for you.
It's gonna be great.
We gotta have you guys on.
We were so afraid that you saw us.
Yeah.
And then you did.
We're getting shades.
You know Mary?
How you doing?
Hey Mary, it's me Sean.
Do you wanna do Hollywood handbook?
Yeah.
Please.
It's better than this.
It's better than our show.
Now it's very un-blushed.
Less of a time, isn't it?
Yeah.
We love you, thank you for swinging by.
Good to see you, buddy.
I love you, just saying bye.
Welcome to the Headgum family.
Oh my God.
That feels really good.
All right, we have this voice mail today.
Terrifying and funny.
All right, here we go.
Hey, doughboys. My name is Devin. My lovely wife, Lauren, and I. There you go. Hey, doughboys.
My name is Devin.
My lovely wife, Lauren, and I are travel bloggers.
And we have recently gotten into cruising recently.
So we wanted to know if you guys ever got on a cruise.
We know Nick doesn't travel anywhere.
But if you ever got on a cruise, what fast food restaurants would you want represented
on those cruises?
Great question.
Thanks for listening and you can check us out
at Travels and Tranquility on YouTube.
Wow, Travels and Tranquility on YouTube.
I also will say that cruising is a slang term
for like picking up people for sex, correct?
Yes, you were assuming.
It is.
Okay.
You were assuming Devin and his lovely wife
were into some sort of depraved sexual behavior.
Yes.
Because really.
Anyways, to the question.
Yeah.
Hmm, this is an interesting one.
I think that I would go,
I think you need some sort of deserty place.
This like, if you're on a cruise ship, it's gonna be hot.
You want some sort of like frozen fro-yo.
Yeah, sure.
Or I know this is the weird to have this be
the first spot that I go.
No, I think this is completely reasonable.
The question is like, where do you,
like, do you wanna do like a Ritas?
Do you wanna do something that's got like an Italian ice?
Do you want to do something that's got like a-
I want just like a regular ice.
Do you want to do like an ice cream place?
Or are you thinking like more like a Jamba juice?
Or are you thinking a little of both?
Oh fuck, Jamba juice is pretty good.
But also like, if I'm on a cruise,
don't you want like fresh fruit
and stuff like that on its own?
Yeah, sure, right.
Like, I feel like you want more,
yeah, like an Italian ice cream or,
the crazy thing is like,
what is the national ice cream chain?
It's like Baskin Robbins?
Dairy Queen Orange Julius,
need a little bit of both.
That's pretty good.
That is pretty good.
Dairy Queen Orange.
I'm just, here's the issue.
I think it should be at Froyo Place or something,
I don't know.
Yeah, or Yogurtland,
I think maybe people like Yogurtland a little bit more.
Here's my issue.
First off, I'm gonna feel trapped in a cruise ship,
but in this exercise, I'm on a cruise ship,
I'm having a good time.
Okay, you can't stand being on the ship.
I am very worried about having diarrhea,
because that restroom situation there
is not gonna be great.
It should be. Yeah.
Yeah, and so a lot of the fast food options
are things where I'm potentially gonna have the Rumblies.
And so, especially we're talking about places
like eating a lot of dairy and then going in the sun.
That can be a deadly combination.
Jesus.
You know what I mean?
Like if you're talking about an ice cream shop.
The focus used the hmm noise when you're going.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm. Um. Dairy is, yes, dairy is scary. Yeah. When the sun is out, Mary.
Don't do that. She's right. She's right.
It's just the Hollywood handbook guys just have like a cloud of bullying spores that
follows them around.
What am I saying?
Grabs on other people.
Ha ha ha ha. No, she's right. She was right. So I do, but I do appreciate the question.
I mean, like, this is the thing.
I think it would be fun to have something, because you also are on vacation.
This contradicts what I was just saying about having the wrong place.
Let me just be fucking honest here.
McDonald's is the fucking answer.
McDonald's would be great.
It would be great to have a good McDonald's there.
Yes.
But also, like, give me a good Taco Bell.
Why not?
Right?
That's fun, too. Like, if I want to kind of go nuts on vacation a little bit. And also, if you can't do, like, a full fryer setup,
then maybe Taco Bell would be an easier thing to do.
Yeah, sure, yeah.
You just Taco Bell Express, something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
How about you, Mary, you have any thoughts?
Well, I used to do the Second City Cruise Ships.
That's great.
Oh, my god.
So they did have a fro-yo.
They did have, like, you know, tacos.
But they never could
do an authentic Italian slice.
Wow.
The pizza was not good.
Wow.
We want good pizza.
We want pizza.
So a Dom- is the answer a Domino's?
Domino's isn't quite good pizza, but it's Domino's and if you want Domino's.
You know what you're getting.
Yeah.
You know what you're getting.
Sure.
And it does feel like they could, maybe like ingredients would be hard to store and stuff
like that, but like it's a conveyor belt,
an electric conveyor belt that they put the stuff through.
I think what you do is you wanna get one of those,
and we haven't found one we love,
but I think 800 degrees comes closest
to one of those personal pie made to order custom
for everyone, because you got the whole family there.
And the kids are gonna want something different.
That seems like it would be on a cruise ship.
But like not a Blaze, because Blaze is like, and you know,
I've had the blaze at crypto.com,
it's like fucking whatever.
Like you don't want Blaze, but like one of the other ones,
one of the other like made to order pizza concepts.
How would you describe your time on the cruise ship?
What do you say it was?
Did you enjoy it or?
First week, fantastic.
The whole rest of the time floating jail.
It was just so, yeah, wow. Yeah, it was brutal.
How long were your tours?
The contracts were four months.
Oh, my God.
Were you on the ship for four months, continuously?
Well, you did, like, port.
Got it, sure.
And you can get out for a little while,
but it was not good.
But you port and get out for a little while,
but is it like a kind of thing of just like,
okay, we finished this cruise,
we're going to come back to wherever Miami
or wherever we're docking.
What was the port?
I did the Alaska tour, so it was actually really nice
because we ported in like Seattle.
Okay, so we're going back to Seattle.
Yeah, it was really great.
Is it like, is it like we got a day or two of downtime
or is it like we're getting these passengers off,
we're cleaning this thing
and we're getting a new set of passengers on?
Like every week it would turn over.
Every week would turn over, okay, got it, got it.
So you had a little bit of time to maybe fly home or whatever,
or were you living in Seattle at the time?
Oh, no.
Like, you, oh, I'm sorry, you had like a day.
Oh, you had like a day.
A day.
And then you would, yeah, go right back on.
Got it, got it.
You ever see like swells, like high seas?
Did you ever get?
Yeah.
Yeah, and it was actually beautiful.
It was very, very gorgeous, yeah.
On TikTok, my sister sent me like the North Sea.
There's like North Sea TikTok.
And it's like, yo, ho, all hands on deck.
And it's like, you know, that song, like that shanty song.
And then it's like, shows like, like crazy North seas.
And then like, I was wondering, cause then up, up, well, the, I know that the North,
the North sea, wait a minute, hold on.
I don't know the amendments.
The North sea is, is, I know is, is off the East coast, right? The, this is like the North East, wait a minute, hold on. I don't know the amendments. The North Sea is, I know, is off the East Coast, right?
This is like the North, East North Sea.
You'd know better than me, I don't know my seas.
And then whatever that, the North Sea is up there.
Mommy, fuck, I don't know.
You're right, you're right.
It is between Great Britain, Denmark, Norway, Germany,
the Netherlands, Belgium, and France,
so it's like over there. Okay, yeah.
And so whatever the sea is up there,
what is it, I don't so whatever the sea is up there, what is it, is it the, I don't know what the sea is up there with around Alaska,
but it can get really very rough, right?
Very rough and all these icebergs in certain spots.
Oh shit, that's wild.
Yeah, yeah.
Were you on there with,
I'm sure you came very close with other performers
who were on the tour with you.
Anyone from the, that we would know from the show?
I don't even know.
Alison Bills?
Okay. I know. I know. I know. Yeah. I know of her. Yeah.
Do you know a fellow named Cody Dove?
No, but I feel like I also know of who that is. Yeah.
Brian Jack?
No. Oh, Chicago folks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's wild. That's such a fucking crazy.
It just turns into jail after a week.
What the fuck is this guy doing?
I'm buried in seas now.
I did know the Baltic Sea was off of the coast of Estonia.
Okay, yes.
The Gulf of Alaska is also known as the Bering Sea.
The Bering Sea, that's what I was trying to get.
I know this, I've seen the North Sea,
I know the North Sea, I just couldn't think of the name.
Get into North Sea TikToks that they'll.
But Labrador Sea.
Oh my God.
All right, we're gonna end,
I need to end the episode.
He's gone off rails.
He's looking at seas.
Where is, Mitch, here's a question for you.
Where is Baffin Bay?
Ireland.
It's not Ireland.
I just had to guess that in case I got it wrong.
No, it is between Canada and Greenland,
is Baffin Bay, how about that?
Oh. Yeah.
I like it.
Cool.
The Beaufort Sea?
So that's near Alaska.
Dear Lord.
And then yeah, the Bering Sea you mentioned.
This is like, I got a little globe app I gotta spin here.
Beryl, you have anything you'd like to plug?
Wait, do we hit on good fast food chains for it?
How about a hot dog and a stick?
That's fun for kids and that's very vacation-y.
And they got the lemonade, they got the frozen lemonade there.
Perfect, answer solved, hot dog and a stick.
You can go look back, Linda sees...
Wags, end the fucking show.
Mary, thank you so much for being here.
It's been an absolute treat.
It's been too long, we gotta get you back sooner the next time's been an absolute treat. It's been too long. We got to get you back sooner the next time.
This was so fun.
Things are saying good so long.
Oh, more high fives.
I'm ready for them.
These are shakes.
These are shakes.
They're shakes.
Thank you for sticking with me through these Watergate
allegations.
Do you have anything you'd like to plug?
I don't get no retweets.
Should have been you, buddy.
Should have anything you'd like to plug? I don't get no retweets. Should have been you, buddy. Should have been you.
Listen to Hey Randy on CBB World.
Hell yeah.
Wait, tell us about the cast of Hey Randy.
It's Tim Balz, Lily Sullivan, and Dan Lippert, as well as Brett Morris.
Oh, Brett, yeah.
Yeah.
Check that out.
That's at CBBworld.com.
People can subscribe and check that out.
Right.
We've wasted too much of your time.
We have.
Thank you for being here.
This has been too long.
We need to get you out of here.
Oh, it was a blast. Thank you, guys.
The studio's getting hotter.
It's trying to get us out of here.
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Until next time for the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating!
See ya.
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