Doughboys - KFC 2 with Lauren Ash and Christy Oxborrow

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

Lauren Ash and Christy Oxborrow (True Crimes and Cocktails) join the 'boys to talk cold weather, shameful snacks, and KFC. Plus, another edition of Jingle All The Whey.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.pritzkermilitary.org/whats_on/pritzker-military-presents/glenna-whitley-stolen-valorhttp://www.jameswebb.com/articles/military-and-veterans/the-medias-war-on-vietnam-vetshttps://gothamist.com/arts-entertainment/wedding-crashers-fake-purple-hearts-inspire-billhttps://www.biography.com/business-figure/colonel-harland-sandershttps://global.kfc.com/our-heritage/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Stolen Valor. The term, used to describe imposter veterans and considered a grievous offense within the perverse American culture of military worship, appears to have its origins in a 1998 self-published book entitled Stolen Valor, how the Vietnam generation was robbed of its heroes and its history by B.K. Burkett and Glenel Whitley. The book devoted a section to exposing tales of fraudulent military service, provoking an outcry among the country's elite, including future Senator Jim Webb, himself a Vietnam

vet. After 9-11, as a jingoistic bloodlust gripped a nation that would quickly enter into decades-long wars in both Afghanistan and Iraq, the military became the people's most trusted institution. And in 2005, when Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn scored box office gold as the titular come-crazy wedding crashers, a scene in which the duo donned fake purple hearts to woo women led to outrage, even leading to an act of Congress. The Stolen Valor Act, which of course passed in 2006 and was signed into law by President George W. Bush.

And then, after the Supreme Court ruled that the law banning false claims of military service was an unconstitutional violation of free speech, President Barack Obama signed the Stolen Valor Act of 2013, more narrowly outlawing financial gain from the practice. There's something perfectly American in how, given our gutted public sector and emissurated citizenry, a bipartisan consensus prioritizes criminalizing the functionally non-existent problem of fake veterans. But there's also something very American about the act of Stolen Valor itself. We are a culture seduced by hoxsters and con artists.

And that very con was slightly played to perfection by chain restaurant pioneer Colonel Harlan Sanders. Sanders himself never served in the military, going from a childhood spent in poverty directly into a dizzying string of odd jobs until finally, in 1930, coming to operate a gas station and motel in North Corbyn, Kentucky. But the main attraction wasn't the fuel at the pumps, but the food in the attached cafe, where Sanders served country favorites including his signature secret recipe chicken. The restaurant's sensational success led the governor to bestow upon Sanders the honorary

title of Kentucky Colonel, which he led with until his death. In the 1950s, the Colonel franchised his breaded bird concept, and his chain would grow into the biggest fried chicken restaurant in the U.S. Sanders himself becoming a late in life celebrity as a white-suited and white-coiffed walking cartoon, still a widely recognized icon 40 years after his death. And while the Colonel never fought in any actual wars, no individual earned a higher rank in the fast food wars. This week on Doughboys, we return, once again, to KFC.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Chew Farigno, the Spoon Man, aka Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell. Like Lou Farigno. But Chew Farigno. But Chew Farigno. Courtesy of Sam in Los Angeles, roastspoonmanatgmail.com. Mitch, what a lovely moment. I could, well, I'm just saying, with LA, I can, I can hunt him down and kick his ass.

You're never coming back. Go on, Wags. A lovely moment at the top of this record. Just before we started, you said, I don't know if you heard it, you heard her coming down the stairs or you just had a premonition, but you're like, my mom's bringing me a tuna fish sandwich right now. And then she very politely peeked open the door behind you and handed you a tuna fish sandwich on a plate, which I assume you're going to be munching on throughout this record.

It's going to be tricky, but I'm going to try to eat it. Yeah. So I liked that you had to use peek in there, which everyone will like. She did. She, she, we were, she's helped me work on an audition all this morning. And then before the show, there was an issue with the cardboard. She's dropping cardboard off at this place. We have a bunch of cardboard from, because a lot of shopping has been done online during

the pandemic, unfortunately. And so, so I had to put it, but then she was like, but there can be no garbage in the, in the cardboard. I was like, you put garbage in the cardboard. And then it was a big thing. And I had to get all the garbage out of the cardboard and then put it in her car. And then you're making your mom sound like Olivia Soprano. She's a nice lady.

She's Adam Sandler's impression of a mom is what I make this all about. Wigs. Denny's update. Have you gotten a refund? No, I have not, but. And look, you're never going to, but we got some news that I'm going to, I'm going to spill right now. Wow.

Are you worried about jinxing it? I'll just, before you say anything, you're worried about jinxing it. It may be jinx, but that's okay. A, one of our big fights, the thing that you, that I was upset about you for, rightfully so, which I think you've kind of gone back on. You don't say that you kind of like, it was, it was fine, but you were wrong. You, you was bad. You did a bad thing.

I apologize. All right. Was good morning, America. That's right. Nick, the dough boys will be making our appearance on good morning. American in the upcoming weeks and about two weeks is the plan. We have this, we have this scheduled. We'll see if it comes through.

Hopefully we're not jinxing it by saying it here on the podcast. So this is the good morning. America, we're going to, we're going to be, hopefully be in a segment. I won't say what it's about, but we'll be in a segment on good morning, America. And so we can bring this, my grudge against you to a close, I guess. Ah, yes. Famously, famously a man who does not hold a grudge. Let's buy guns, be buy guns.

I'll never hear from this again afterward. Um, and this is a good morning, America, experience that you wanted. If we don't get to fly out first class or stay in a hotel and get to be in a big city, we can do it right from our living rooms. That's right. Oh, are you happy? We'll be safely zooming in. I'm happy.

It's going to be good. Uh, hopefully, yeah, hopefully it all works out. It'll be exciting. All right. Anyways, uh, here's a little drop wigs and how to how to spoon nation. Thank you. My, my, my, my, my mom just brought me a tuna fish sandwich. Thank you.

Wow, that's nice. What can I say except you're welcome tuna fish sandwich. Hey, it's okay. It's okay. You're welcome. It was very, very good. It was very nice of my mom, but she will get yelled at later for interrupting, uh, the show with the sandwich.

Wow. Gracie films post while they're, wow, that is, that's crazy. I mean, I'm still, I actually took a bite of a tuna fish sandwich while this was happening and you don't pre-screen these. You just play them blind. So I play these blind for real. I never pre-screened them. I'm very lazy.

Hello, Mr. Slice. I almost didn't catch your mom say you're welcome on Mike after she brought you the tuna fish sandwich during the five guys episode. I mainly thought of this song and how, and how you once described the then 16 year old voice actor of Moana as ravishing. So here you go. What the fuck?

I almost forgot you're welcome. Case, Casey from Minneapolis. Thank you, Casey. I think. Oh boy. All right. Let's introduce our guests because we've wasted too much time. Oh, we've wasted way too much of their time, but we're happy to have them.

Our guests host the podcast, true crime and cocktails. Lauren Ash, Christy Oxford over here. Hi, Lauren. Hi, Christy. Hi. Hi. Thanks for being here. I hope you don't mind that I'm leaning out of my zoom picture to take bites of

a tuna fish sandwich. I'm living for it. Yeah, it makes me feel more comfortable to be honest with you. So I'm here for it. I'm very, very excited to have you both here. Now you are, Christy, you're currently in Canada, but you were both originally from Canada. Yeah, I've never left Canada as far as like living situations go.

I am not sheltered. I have left the country otherwise, but yeah, both born in Ontario and then I have slowly moved across the province or across the country. And now I'm living in Saskatchewan. Wow. Now I mentioned this before, before we're, while we're waiting for Mitch to join the record. Um, uh, and, uh, but the Doughboys have actually been to Saskatoon.

We've been to Saskatchewan. We did a show, uh, called, uh, as part of the winterruption festival in January in years past, January in Saskatoon at a lovely time. What a choice to make there. I mean, I mean, I also assume you had like some sort of Saskatoon berry while you were there. Yes, we did. Yes.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause you kind of have to, you gotta think, right? Yeah. It's the thing, but Saskatchewan in the heart of winter is, is, is not for the faint of heart. Yeah.

I think it's the coldest weather I've ever experienced and I'm, I grew up in Southern California, so it's, it's all foreign to me. Oh yeah. It's like, it's like when the Terminator two, when, when, when, when the T two, what, what would that Terminator be? Weigar, the, the T 1000, the T 1000. Yes. When the T 1000 gets frozen.

Yeah. He breaks into all the pieces. Yeah. Breaks into all the pieces. That kind of that, like what he looks like when he's frozen is what Saskatoon just looks like all over. Wouldn't you, and remember just looking at our hotel window Weigar and it was like, it just looks fucking fro, it looks just like a frozen mess out there.

It is bleak. It's bleak. Yeah. You know, having lived in, in LA for quite some time now, uh, I usually, when I go home to visit Christie or go to Christie's home, rather, uh, it's usually around Christmas, which I realized after a couple of years, I was like, this is, we've got to pick another time of year because this is not the time to be rolling in.

Uh, what's hilarious is, is that she always meets me at the airport because, you know, bless. And, but she'll be like, you know, it's like minus 40. She's got open jacket. You know what I mean? Like no hat, like you get used to it when you live there. Right. And then meanwhile, my blood has thinned since living in California.

So she'll meet me with like hats and scarves and mittens because I've turned into such a wimp. We, well, Weigar, we, we, we were at that airport, airport and it's a little, you know, like, uh, you can, I feel like it's very flat around there. Right. You can see for a while. And then I got off and it was freezing and I turned around and Weigar was gone.

Right. I got detained for a bit. You got detained. Yeah. Oh no. I had some prescription medication and it was a whole, it was a whole ordeal cause they didn't bring the prescription with me. It worked out.

They let me go. Sure you did. Canada's no joke about that stuff though. Like they're, they're pretty strict. You got a DUI. You can't get into Canada. Wow. I didn't know that.

Yeah. Wow. I'm surprised I let you in Weigs. I don't have a DUI. It makes it trouble for traveling rock bands is the point. Like a lot of rock bands have trouble. Yeah. Yeah.

We were drugs and the booze, you know, I, I, I like the snow. I liked, I, I honestly think I could live in snow year round. What do you think of that? I feel like you could. Just straight up. No, no, as somebody, as somebody who lives through this brutalness for like six months a year, I, I would give anything to go to snow at all. Wow.

Yeah. I'm on my lifestyle. I'm back in Boston. I like winters in Boston, but that is more, you know, December, January, February, and then March, maybe, you know, it's not too, too crazy. It's not like, yeah, up there, you got half the year at least is, is snowy. Which how, how, but the summers must be beautiful, right? You would think, um, I think we get maybe like a week.

Where it's like, Oh, this is perfect weather. And then it's like, well, now it's way too hot. And it's like things are melting outside and it's too much. So yeah, it's, I mean, don't get me wrong. Canada, lovely Saskatchewan, of course it's great, but my God, it's just, it's not for the faint of heart. And, uh, she may have said that I'm brave for being in this weather, but I'm really truly a wimp.

Wow. So it's like, Oh, school buses aren't running today because it's so cold. Oh, maybe they'll just stay home so that I don't have to actually leave the house to take my kids to school. I think that's fair. Yeah. But then my husband is like, Oh, hell no, they're not staying home all day. I'll take them and he'll take them to school because we can't stand it.

But yeah, it's, it's too cold for a large vehicle. I'd say it's too cold for a human. I think that that's time to hibernate, but that's my, yeah, there's, oh, there's a lot of questionable, uh, school decisions that have been happening. But, yeah, none of those in the U S. No, no, we're doing great down here. You guys are doing great. Yeah.

I mean, really, in the end, I can't complain, but it's just, uh, people, people would riot if they got, if they lost their free babysitter is essentially how it comes down. Yeah, yeah, that's just how it comes down. I do not see teachers as just a babysitter. I would like to say that I think they have the toughest job in the world. But around here, it's like, Oh, you can't take my babysitter away. Yeah.

So the government will leave the schools open regardless. So I was going to say, they, because I, as a grown man, it's strange to say that I love snow days, even though I still do love snow days. Like I like to see that school got canceled. I think it's fun still. Oh, absolutely. But in Canada, it must not happen as much. They are just so used to it.

Right. Like in Boston, it does happen every so often. It's obviously gotten over the, you know, since I was a kid, they do a better job now. It has to be pretty extreme for sure. Yeah. In LA County, it's so idyllic that growing up, uh, we closed school a couple of times for rain. Dear God.

I loved, one of the things I loved when I first moved to LA coming from Canada was like, you know, it never rains here. And so the first thing is, and being from the East coast too much, I'm sure that you maybe experienced this too. It's like, at first you feel all this pressure that it's like, it's sunny. I have to go out and do something. Cause back home, it's like, if it's a sunny day, you have to make the most of it because you don't get that many.

Here you start to learn very quickly that it's like, no, no, it's sunny every day. And then it's the news reports about the rain. They make me laugh so hard where it's like, we are predicting at least three quarters of an inch of rain. And I'm like, that is adorable. It's adorable. I am driven in like three feet of snow. Like it's just, it's so cute to me that it's, it just cripples people down here.

But, but I will say also it is terrifying because people panic. I find in the rain. And so I, I do, I do agree. Stay off the roads in LA. 100%. That is a sad thing with LA that I'm like, it will be like a, like what people consider a beautiful day and I'll just fucking be inside with the AC on being like, like treating it like a winter day or whatever.

Like I won't, I won't do anything. I mean, that's just, you got to do that. Cause sometimes you just want to lay around inside. Why? Cause it's not weird. I didn't say it was weird. I mean, sometimes that's how I want to live my life all the time. All right, this is what I'm trying to get to.

Let's get, let's get honest about that. If I had my way, it could be the perfect weather outside and I'll only know because my phone tells me. So now you understand why I would be okay with snow year round. Cause I would just stay inside in the snow. It would be nice to look out the window and see the snow and just be sitting on a couch with a fire going. It would be great.

So essentially you just want like a painting of an outside landscape of snow. You know what? That would be enough for you. Now that you say it, if there, you know, if there was a realistic enough painting, uh, that looked like the outdoors, I would replace my windows with that. I think that's fine. When I was a young boy, I drew a, I drew a, um, I drew like an idea of what I wanted my room.

My dad had like a small like office, but like it was basically just his closet. And I, I wanted to take over that room and like design it in my own way. And I remember drawing a bunch of different things. One, I put like beads in front of the bed. I remember I was going to have like the, the, the bed be like in the closet and then have like beads. So you'd enter through beads. I was like 12 years old.

It was very strange. It wasn't, it wasn't like a sexual thing. Um, it was not sexual at all. Yeah. I mean, just as a 12 year old who's going to like get behind the beans and masturbate, I guess that was the only way that it would be at all sexual. And then the other thing is that I had, I want a privacy. If that's your plan.

Well, you'd hear someone coming though. The beads make a noise. That's true. That was a security system you were installing. That's all. Basically. And then I wanted fish tank windows. I like, I, I, I wish, I wish I could find this drawing of it.

I wanted like a fish tank windows where like fish would be in the window. I think that it just wouldn't work. I think that they would like die or especially with the cold. I don't think it would work. You mean like the, like there's fish and then there's, there's transparent glass on the other side. So you can see the outside through the fish tank. Is that what you're envisioning?

You got it. That's what I wanted. I wanted, I want a fish tank windows and to put, I mean, like just impossible. I feel like it'd be hard to regulate the temperature. Cause I think those tanks would just, yeah. Yeah. I mean, when the sun hits them. Yeah.

No shit. He's not an architect. I was 12 years old. I'm just saying your logic is a, your logic as a seventh grader was a little strained. Seventh grade, I was 12. I thought I was like, I was like in fifth grade. So I would say like maybe 11. Okay.

11 plus very creative. Thank you. It is creative. Yeah. Thank you very much. You're already thinking bead curtains. Like come on. That's like some like 10th grade mental level.

So come on. Um, I do want to talk. I do want to shift topics a little bit because we're talking cold weather. And we've been, you know, the dope boys have been up in Canada a few times. When it gets real cold, what are the things you like to, to munch on? What are the things you like to sip on? Wow. Oh, soups.

I'm such a soup fan. Yeah. I is like, I remember earnestly once ordering a lobster bisque. This is, this is ridiculous. It was one o'clock in the morning at Disneyland and a friend of mine and I had gotten a hotel room and we ordered room service literally at one AM. The lobster bisque comes up piping hot and I literally in earnest took a sip and just went, Oh, I love soup.

And that really first of all was true. Second of all, we laughed so hard. And to this day she gets me things that like have that kind of messaging on it. A lot of soup forward messaging. Um, but I think when I really kind of try and break down the psychology of it, I think at the end of it, at the root of it, it is just my love of sauces, you know what I mean? And a soup feels like a socially acceptable way to eat a bowl of sauce.

If I'm being honest. Hey, I'm, there's a great Greek salad place here and I've told Nick this. It's called Nick's, Nick. Yes. Oh, um, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a piece of place called Nick, uh, good guy though, not like this Nick and, uh, he, he makes the best Greek salad. And when I'm done with it, it comes in like a, like, uh, it comes in a, like, uh, aluminum, uh, little bin, I guess.

I can't, I'm doing bad with words here today. Uh, but I will, I'll drink, I will want to drink the dressing. I want to, I will want to, and I'm not like a big, I'm not a big dressing drinker. I'm not, I'm not a guy who drinks dressings all the time, but I, that is the one where the dressing is so good. I just want to, I want to sip it down. I want, I need to drink it.

Do you guys, I want you to know that you're in a safe space with the two of us at least, um, about anything and I've drank dressing. I've drank, I'm not ashamed of it anymore. Like it just is what it is. You know, you know, it just is what it is. Like, wait, drink, drink dressing in what way? Like we're like straight from the bottle or just like a little cup.

Wow. What dress? I, there's so many. There's so many, but you know, again, again, um, look again, we're just getting it, we're putting it out there early in this thing. You know what I'm saying? Like if we're going to get into like eating habits, you open the door and I'm going to walk through it.

Yeah. To me, again, like a sauce that is, that is just decadence. And I remember once when I was trying to very, I failed, but for a time I was trying to do like an Atkins diet back in the day and I would get, I would just hoard like pizza dipping sauces. So, and then I would eat them with a spoon, like a savory pudding. And then I was like, how is this, how is this really? When you think about it, how is this so much worse than eating the sweet pudding?

It's kind of the same concept. I salute you for this admission. I think that this is great. I think it's, I think it's dynamite. I like that we're just like separating that, uh, beaded curtain and coming forward and admitting our shames of different sauces. Yeah. I like that.

I like that a lot. Like I feel like I can't just say like, oh, cold weather. Oh, I, I love a hot chocolate, but I will never stop with a slurpee. The colder the day, the more that I want it. Wow. Interesting. I have this, I have this thought and I, one of the, we have two locations in town, um, to get them.

And one of them has let me down time and time again. I like, I like them so thick that you have to take a break sometimes so that it can, so that you're not just like having like shuffling snow in your cop. Right. But I like them really thick and one of the ones here in town, just like it runs and it's really runny and I don't care for it. So I, I have turned to my husband and be like, we need to go to the other one because it's not up to my, uh, what I need up and up to my standards.

What flavor slurpee are you going with? Oh, see, I, I like, I like a lime, but I have become like a Coke or Pepsi. And if I can just do like three quarters of the way with like a Coke Pepsi and then the rest of it with a lime, that's a chef's kiss right there. That's great. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things in the world. Yeah.

It always, it always bumps me out that when, when you, like I've moved in the past and then you like move to like near a bad seven 11, like you're like, oh, this is how I have a bad seven 11. That's like, this is my seven 11 and this is what I got to deal with, but it's fucking a bad one. It sucks when you get a bad one. We were walking distance for a while of a good McDonald's and it was heaven. Like it was just, it was like within, it was basically, functionally, basically

on our block, it was that close. Like you could get there in under a five minute walk and it was great. And it's, and it's not, it was like the best McDonald's in the city of Santa Monica. It was like breaking shoes. This is old, old breaking shoes, but high sea orange back at McDonald's. Very. That's right.

Very excited. Great. Better. Um, I, back on Slurpees. I've told this on the pod before, but while we're, uh, while we're admitting our food shames for a time in the early days, when, uh, when my wife and I were dating, we were going to get a Coke Slurpee every day. And I'm not talking like the, the slender cup.

I'm talking like the big boy, like the 28 ounce, 32 ounce Slurpee every single day, like we're getting coffee. It was just like part of our routine. And then I was putting on some weight and I was like, what, like, what are we, how much, uh, like, how much sugar is in one of these like Coke Slurpees? These 20, I was having like 700 calories of sugar, of liquid sugar every day. Yeah. It really adds up.

It really does. You were cooler back then. Can I also just say very quickly, I was like, I just realized like he asked us what we like to eat when it's cold. And I immediately went to what's shameful for me. And I don't want to get into the psychology of it, but I am just realizing like, wow, you really were very quick to just share shame. Anyway, yes.

Back to the, back to the sugar shame. Oh, I have no shame about it. And I love that. No shame needed. I know what I, I know what I like. And, uh, I go for it. And again, uh, like you said, I mean, people go and get a coffee every day. I'm not a coffee fan.

So if I want to go do that every day, which I don't, which is a shame, but, um, if I want to go do that, like we recorded like a lot of episodes and stuff yesterday and I had to take a break part way through and get myself a drink just to like ease into it. You know, just to feel human again. And that's, that's my caffeine. That's, if I could have one daily, I would. And that's the slender cups.

Yeah. I do, I do like it. I try, I do a diet. Well, since I've been back in Boston, I do it one diet, polar or orange dry per day, basically. But that's my, I don't drink coffee either. That's my little drink that I like to do. I sometimes like back in LA, I'll do a diet coke every day.

I know they're not good for you, but either as a cup of coffee with sugar and cream in there either, you know, and I'm right. Oh, it's, and this is the thing. People get into the carcinogens and it's like everything. It's in everything. We're all on borrowed time. You know, eat the brie, eat the brie, drink the slurpee. It's, come on.

Now, is it messed up that I kind of go looking for carcinogens and try to adjust them? Yes, that is strange. The fact that that's your secret food shame, that you'll only eat things that you know are carcinogenic, that is something else, but I am a carcinogenic heavy diet, which is maybe not a great thing. It's mostly cigarette butts. I was going to say that when I, when, when you, you were saying that you,

that you would eat sauce for me, back when I was a boy, when, when, when we would finish like a pasta dinner, like I felt like it wasn't finished until you got, took bread and you got all the sauce out of the, you got to dip the bread. You got to clean, like a, I mean, there, this is an issue of like cleaning your plate and, and you know, some of my weight issues probably come from this thing of like, you need to clean your plate and have, that was a part of it. Piece of bread. You get all the sauce off the plate and you, and you finished the meal off.

I'm not sure if that's a, like, I didn't want to see sauce going down the drain. So I say you eating the sauces, it makes way more sense than it going down the drain, you know what I mean? Totally. And I feel the same way. And if I see a plate, if you, if you've been at a dinner and you see, you know, the plate at the end of something where it's very like a, like a saucy kind of meal and my plate is always clean, but same kind of thing.

I've, I've stopped it up. I've done something. I've gotten rid of it. If I see someone's plate and there's a lot of sauce on there, truth, truth moment. I do judge. I do judge. I'm like, because to me, I'm like, what, what, what is that about? Are you embarrassed to eat the sauce?

Are you just being wasteful to your point? You know, I think it, I think it. I'm just being honest. More than judge this may, this may, this may seem extreme, but I'm like, if I see someone with sauce on their plate, I'm like, finish that fucking sauce. And I like, yeah, sometimes we'll grab their heads and put it down into the sauce. This has created some incidents at Bukit Abapo. A lot of children have had a lot of growing up to do there.

I guess I will say it's mostly kids. Yeah. Um, I, uh, yeah, same thing. I, I, I eat them. I saw us, I clean my plate. I like, I had the same thing growing up of like, yeah, you have to finish your plate. It's wasteful. Not to, uh, I always take leftovers from a restaurant and I always eat them.

Like it's just like, I can't, like it's just, and, and now he's the same way. We have the same psychology that was ingrained, uh, in us from our parents. Wags is known as the Bukit Abapo bandit because he'll go around from plate to plate, steal your sauce. He'll suck it right off your plate. Okay. Now I will say, and I mean this with nothing but love. But I have always, and I don't know if I've ever said this out loud or if it's

just always in my head, I've always considered Lauren to be my favorite raccoon in the world because if I have anything on my plate and I haven't finished, she'll just lean over and go, you, uh, are you going to do that? And if I say no, she's like, I'll give it a home. Like us drunkenly in a hotel in Vancouver eating McDonald's and I was like, I, I, I want two double quarter pounders, which is insane. But let's not even talk about that. And then I was like, I'm not going to do the bottom bun on the second one.

Cause that's my help. That's where I'm cutting the health level. Right. So I'm like, I'm not going to do this bottom bun. She's like, you just going to like leave it there. She's good. Yeah. Now I think also to be fair, I think to be fair, what am I talking about?

I, I not, yes, I did this. Um, but I think I also dipped that bun in a sweet and sour sauce. Cause you had a little leftover from the nuggets you were eating, but again, I'm not shaming you for eating that. I had to double quarter pounders cause that was what I was feeling that day. I mean, listen, it's too much meat. No, I'm curious about the decision to, to go open faced, but to emit the bottom bun seems a little tougher to eat.

Well, yeah, I don't know what I was thinking really. Again, I was not sober in any way, but there was just something about like, I, I think if you don't have the top bun, then you're going to have the cheese that gets up in your teeth and the roof or your mouth. And it's like, I don't want to feel that, so the bun is like the buffer that will stop that from happening. Whereas the bottom bun, if you just gently hold on to that, be fair, it's almost not necessary, but it's amazing to know that it was like a snack for my best

friend, you know, it was, it fed us both. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta say that you were, I've, I dubbed my sister this, but, but this is, it's in the food world, in the meal world, you're, you're the, uh, what's, uh, people will call the closer, like a, like a baseball when a close, when the, when you call the closer and to close off the game. That's what I would say to my sister, because she would always, if there were bites left, she would come in and she would close it out, which they're, look, for with me, there usually wasn't, but if my mom or something or my dad

had anything left on the plate, my sister would come in and she'd close it out. She'd close the game out, which is great. That's it. It's an important part of, it's an important part of a party of, of friends of eating. You need, you need closers. Why you gotta, you gotta, MVP of the team. It is.

Yeah. No baseball team's going to win without a great closer. So I respect every closer. I, I, I will, I'll close out a lot of meals for my friends too. It's, it's, yeah. You can't, it's, it's, look, I know that it's, there's some issues. Our group of friends, there's not, not a lot of closing ads to be done. Yeah.

It's also rare for us, but again, you know, I mean, it's rare for there to be a discarded half bun, to be honest, but I jumped at it is the point. Me and Weigur will go with our friends and there will, I feel like when the meal's over, plates will be missing a lot of the time. You touch on McDonald's and I am curious because there are a lot of American chains that are up in Canada, they're north of the border. And they, there are some differences, some profound differences in the case of, for instance, A&W, which now has completely separate ownership.

And A&W Canada is just, I, I, I'm over the moon with A&W Canada. I think that, I think it's fantastic. But are there any American chains in Canada that, that have, that have any differences that you've noticed versus the American outlets? I, well, I learned for my, and I can, I still love saying this for researching for this episode. Wow. Um, KFC is hugely different.

Hugely, yeah. In Canada. Oh, interest. In the States. Yeah. I mean, spoiler alert, I think it's more delicious up here. I agree. I agree.

That would track honestly. That is good to know because I, well, we'll get into it. We'll get into it. Yeah. And like there are basic things, like you can't get mashed potatoes as a side up here. Wow. Wow. Well, that's, that is, that's crazy to me.

Yeah. It's a weird, like you can get the bowls that have mashed potatoes in them, but unless you get that without all of the toppings, you can't get just mashed potatoes. And then you're left with fries. And I'm going to tell you the fries up here lack luster. Well, listen, I feel like we're going to get into all of that because I can't wait. But the other thing, the one other thing I have to mention, because people ask this all the time, the one big difference between Canadian and American

chains is Taco Bell, Taco Bell in Canada from its inception had fries supreme, which is French fries, dressed like nachos. And they never had them here until a couple of years ago. They did something kind of the same, but it wasn't, it just wasn't as good. It wasn't the full thing. And for me, when I first came here, I was shocked that I first moved to Chicago. And I was like, what do you mean in Chicago? I can't get fries supreme.

Like this is, this is in your wheelhouse, guys. And so that was a huge difference that always shocked me. I couldn't believe that Taco Bell down here, because French fries are such an easy thing, but I guess maybe they just didn't want to have friars in their locations or something. I don't know. But again, and I know they've done fries more recently, but that's, it's just not the same, not the same.

Yeah, not at all. Chicago, a place where you can get a chocolate, a chocolate cake milkshake. You can't get fries a Taco Bell. It just doesn't seem right. Right. It doesn't, it doesn't seem right. Yeah. Chicago is, Chicago is a sort of food heaven.

It is crazy that you can just anything you want, like the, just ideas that you would never think about in the food world. I mean, or like, or just like when you were drunk or whatever, like the things that like most people think are gross. So just so common in Chicago and a chocolate cake, shake, wags, you tried it. It's fantastic. Delightful. Fantastic food city.

It is, it's, it's, it's maybe, it's one of, it's maybe the, I give shit. I mean, like we give some shit to deep, deep pizza, but Chicago might be, it might be the best food, American food city, right? Well, I think it's in the conversation. I mean, LA's no slouch, New York, no slouch. There's a lot of, you know, in addition to the indulgent fair, which is what people think of with Chicago, but there's also like, I had great Vietnamese food there, if I'd get Birria there, like they just have, you know, the, the, just

running the gamut in terms of, of, of cuisine they got on, on all price points. Um, but, uh, we're talking chicken today. And before we get into this week's chain, um, and I should note again that, that this is this year I'm vegetarian, no meat shall I eat. And chicken is what I've missed the most. It's, it's like, it's really, it's when we've covered these chicken chains, it's what I've craved the most of all my, of all the meat emissions. It's just like that's, that's the most glaring, but I did want to talk about

something that is adjacent to chicken and to true crime, which is maybe something you've covered on your podcast, but the Zanku chicken murders. So Zanku chicken, which is a local chain here in the LA area, which I love, by the way, it's delightful. Oh my God. It's so good. Yeah. Man, I was reading about these and I was like, I really want some Zanku chicken.

I just, I can, especially not being able to have it for an entire calendar year. It's so good. It is just delightful. Yeah. Um, great bird. Uh, but so here's, I'll read this from Wikipedia. Uh, on January 14th, 2003, after a heated argument, Zanku chicken owner, Madeiros Iskenderian, uh, shot and killed his sister, uh, Zovig Marjik.

I should have pre-screened these names, so I knew how to pronounce them. And his mother, Margaret Iskenderian, he then took his own life in a double murder suicide. Iskenderian was in the late stages of colon and brain cancer, which is believed to have had an effect on his mental, mental faculties. The repercussions of this event and the lasting division of the brand, uh, into two family factions, impeded the continuing growth of the business, despite the restaurant's popularity.

So just a really, really grim. So you were reading all that and you were thinking about how you wanted chicken? Yeah, I mean, okay, sure. I get it. It feels like a pretty like straight narrow road to go down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You just ignore all murder when you're eating meat. You just go for it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, that's so sad. His brain had turned against him. And I was just like, that doesn't mean that the chain was going to close. Did it?

We're still going to get this product in the near future. Right? Like this isn't going to change anything for us. Right? No, yeah, this was, this was 17 years ago. So the chain has continued to thrive, uh, in the aftermath, but yeah, really, really, uh, really grim fate for a couple of the, uh, the big figures in the thing of chicken family and just a, just a couple of years before I moved to LA.

That's why that's wild. I had no idea. Yeah. Wow. It is, that is, that to me is like, when you talk about in and out burger, Zanku is, is like a, that's like an LA, that's an LA institution. I feel like that's like one of the, the local places that you should try. A lot of people don't try, my mom and sister still make fun of me for the

time I took him to Zanku. I took him to Zanku. My mom and dad, my mom, my dad, my sister, I brought them all to Zanku and they're like, what is this place? Cause if you go into a Zanku, it looks like, uh, like generic restaurant from the eighties, like it's, it's, it's like they're very, they're very old. Like, and then like, and then it's like Schwama, which I feel like they'd never tried before.

So my mom and sister thought it was like crazy. My dad was a little more into it, but my mom and sister still will be like, I can't believe, remember the time you tried to make us taste Schwama? They always say that all the time. Well, that was like when I, when I tried to get my mom to eat Thai food, that was fun. Uh, this was years ago and, and my favorite moment of all, I was like, let's get some Thai food.

I was trying to like, you know, open her, you know, her mind. And, and her response was, I don't like curry. And I was like, okay, well, um, that, that should be all right. We can find some options that are curry free. And she got her dish, which was like a cashew chicken, very simple. And she tasted it and she went, it's just normal. It's just normal. And I noticed some that that might sound like problematic.

It, she did not mean it in that way at all. I think she just, we grew up in a very small town where, you know, we didn't have sushi growing up. We didn't have anything. All we had was like, you know, a Chinese buffet and pizza and burgers. And that was basically it. So this was a huge swing for her. And, and listen, I feel like I succeeded that day.

Yeah, you, you definitely did. And I think that that is like a, that, that's a thing that I think some people who were born in like the nineties or something, sometimes they don't get that thing of like, Oh, when, you know, Italian food was, was considered kind of like a specialty and weird back in like, in the 1950s and 60s. You know what I mean? Like, and so just in my, my, my city, the same, the same way we had Chinese food in Italian, and that was kind of like the only other foods from

other cultures that we even had. And then Mexican food, but Mexican food felt so far. And when I went to a Mexican food restaurant, it was, it was like, I don't know what I'm eating. This is crazy when I was just a kid, you know, it was like 11 or 12. It's now like another national cuisine in the US, but it used to be everywhere. It used to just be like in California and Texas. Yeah.

And you, I mean, and when you, when you don't know if we're like that, you don't get, you don't get it. And I'm sure that it's still that way for a lot of people in America. You know what I mean? I feel like just, and even still here, it's gotten better here, but growing up, it was just only Chinese food. And now we have Thai food and Japanese food and a lot of other different types of Asian food, but it's same, same thing.

Same, same exact thing. Yeah. But something that everyone knows, perhaps across all of North America. That's right. KFC, Kentucky Fried Chicken, founded as Sanders' Court & Cafe in 1930 by Colonel Harlan Sanders. We should note this is Stolen Valor. He was never in the military.

Uh, it's just an honorific. Um, and, uh, there are over 22,000 locations worldwide for KFC, one of the largest American Chinese restaurants in the world. I just want people to know that I'm going by, uh, Colonel Spoonman or Colonel Slice from here on out. Oh boy. You're going to get busted. A veteran's org is going to confront you with a, with a phone video.

How dare you, sir? And I'll say, well, how dare you? I served in the tomorrow war, my friend. Uh, let's, uh, let's get into KFC going in. Christy, you mentioned some, some differences with KFC Canada. And you, you both, uh, I assume we're familiar with this. Um, but going in, what were each of your biases toward this chain? What were your thoughts before we, uh, you had this meal?

I mean, I went in hot. I was so excited to be told, like, do you want to eat some KFC and talk about it? And I had a tab open on my browser for weeks with the menu so I could go over it. And then I would like list things off to my husband, like all seductively. Like, what do you think we're going to, are we going to do that? And he's just like, whatever you want, weirdo. Like he's just, he's used to it. Um, I was also very excited because I did, uh, rewatch a recipe for seduction

starring Mario Lopez, because it felt right. Uh, and like KFC was like the fancy thing you had when you were a kid. Like everyone's like, you get like some, you know, maybe once a week or every other week, you get like a McDonald's or pizza or something. But then every once in a while, dad's feeling it and you go for that little extra cash and you go KFC and that chicken is something I dream about all the time. And then my oldest had a birthday within the last month and he was like, I want KFC. I want that.

And we were like, yes, yes. And my husband's like, oh, so you're just going to eat it now instead of, uh, in advance of the podcast. And I was like, no, no, no, we're going to eat it again, closer to the podcast when I'm researching, but like when it's, when it's birthday chicken, you just go for it. Birthday chicken is a great term. But like birthday chicken was really disappointing. Like the coding was weird and we were really sad about it.

But then when we got it, like weeks later, and I'm glad we did because I properly researched it, it was so much better than it was weeks before. So it feels like ours, our location feels very hit or miss, which is really disappointing. You want something that's going to be solid every time you go. 100%. Yeah. I will say just very quickly, it was definitely a special occasion in our family. Like this was a very rare occasion that there was a bucket of KFC.

And what was interesting for me personally was I would get very excited because it was like, oh my gosh, there's a bucket of chicken. This is so great, but I never really liked it. So I don't love eating meat off of bones in general. I was a vegetarian for like a nine year period in my life. I'm out of that now, but I, as a kid, I loved the coding. I loved the skin and I would pick a little bit, but I just didn't, I don't love the like concept in general of fried chicken, but I will say that my memory of the chicken

as a child of the coding, it was really a 10 out of 10. And then they brought in the extra tasty crispy in Canada and it was great too. I loved the both of them. Again, I wouldn't really, and they didn't have a lot of boneless options. Again, that I remember as a kid, but I also haven't eaten it at this point before this research, which again, I was also very excited about. I had never, I'd only eaten it once in America. I had a double down sandwich in Chicago when they first came out because you have

to, you got to try it. They've made fried chicken as buns. That's my great shame. I've never had a double down sandwich. It was great. Mitch, you absolutely missed out. I wish I could tell you otherwise. For me, I just, you'll love this.

I found it a little dry. I wanted a sauce. I wanted a different, you know, they thought the cheese was going to be enough. And it wasn't enough between two thick chickens. Come on, the chicken was thick. But yeah. So, and then prior to that, I feel like I haven't had KFC in maybe like 20 years in Canada.

So I was very excited to get this, you know, this up to date refresher moment in America and kind of make the comparison. Wow. Well, let's get, well, let's get into it. I'm sad that to make that American comparison, because I think that things have maybe gone downhill a little bit for KFC, but we can, let's, let's, let's, let's get into it likes. Yeah.

I mean, I mean, I'm just saying right now. No, I'm with you that night, that night that dad has the, when dad's feeling chicken, the chicken night, I'm not sure if it's happening too much anymore. I don't know how often it's going to happen or birthday chicken in the U S. I don't know if that birthday chicken is going to be at KFC, but I'm, I'm, I'm with you that I was never, I never have like bones or like veins or, or sinew or whatever. I'm trying to, I'm trying to like a muscly stuff, like a muscly stuff or veins

or bones. I've never, I've never really liked while eating, but KFC usually did a pretty good job of like, like if you got a chicken breast, it would be a nice plump chicken breast and you wouldn't have to think too much of that. You could just kind of go at it right in the middle and toss it aside or whatever, but I, I, I felt, I felt the same way. What did you love? Bones, waggers?

Yeah. I'm going to say that I'm going to, I'm the complete opposite. I know you like tendies. You like your boneless wings. I love the bones. Give it to me. Bone in. I like, I prefer the flats in terms of wings.

I fried chicken is, is maybe my favorite food. It's, and, um, and I love it. I love it. Bone in. You construct like little like furniture out of the chicken bones and things like that after you were done. He makes a beaded curtain. He makes a beaded curtain out of bones.

That's where he goes to have his birthday chicken. I mean, birthday chicken is great, but day after birthday chicken, when it's cold. Oh yeah. Come on. Love that. Oh, love cold fried chicken. It's my favorite thing in the world. Like when it's all like gross and you're like, it's a little congealed.

You shouldn't need it. Oh yeah. I'm going to eat it. It's going to be so good. Yeah. So good. Cold fried chicken so much better than I've been saying this way. It's cold.

I don't like cold pizza. Cold fried chicken, good cold pizza, I think is bad. I like them both. I'll even do a cold pasta, cold leftover pasta, I think works. Yeah, I will say on the birthday chicken note that Christie brought up similar situation with a, my niece's birthday, I think last year. And we're like, where do you want to go for, for, for your birthday lunch? And we're anticipating some sit down restaurant.

And she was like, hmm, I think KFC for a second. I was like, oh man, I can't, I can't get anything. I can't like just get like a Caesar salad here. I have to get something super unhealthy. And then we went and it was great. I was like, oh my God, this is fucking heaven. I love that she made this decision. I just got like a three piece with like mac and cheese and a biscuit.

And I was like, this is so good. Um, so yeah, it, but, but it is hit and miss. I had KFC last year in December as I was trying to like, you know, kind of get the meat meals out of me before this, uh, this year of abstinence and maybe more. And it was okay. Uh, Popeyes was certainly was, was way better. So I agree with you that it can be a little inconsistent. Um, let's get into this, uh, this week's meal.

I will say you talked about Mitch about KFC, maybe declining a little bit. Yeah, as part of that, they have streamlined their sides. They have made some cuts just as they're, as they're, uh, they're label make, uh, K, uh, Taco Bell, uh, uh, it's part of the young brand's tri-force KFC Taco Bell and pizza. Just as they have streamlined their menu, KFC has done the same. They have a lot fewer sides now, uh, at least in the States, you got mashed potatoes, you got corn, you have secret recipe fries, which are new.

We replaced their potato wedges, uh, coleslaw and mac and cheese and a biscuit. And that's it. Like they don't have beans anymore. They don't have green beans anymore. They don't have any green sides. There's really no source of dietary fiber, except for maybe the coleslaw. It's just all starch. Yeah.

That's, that's, that's, that's a bummer to me. I, I like, well, beyond that, I just think that young brands has, has been doing a bad job. Why is young, young, young brands, first of all, just, just the name alone is just such a shitty corporatey young brands. Just sucks. Sounds bad. Doesn't sound like you're going to get good food from young brands.

And then just some of the decisions they're making with some of these restaurants. They're doing a bad job. I love Taco Bell and we, we've. We've talked about this before, but they've, they've decided to streamline the Taco Bell menu. Just, and, and also on top of that, like, if you're going to streamline your menu and you're going to take out some of this stuff, then why do your mashed potatoes taste like paste now?

Ah, yeah. Yeah. It's, I, I mean, I will say especially without the gravy, the gravy does, the gravy does 90% of the work, but you get those mashed potatoes playing. It's, it's just not going to, it's just not going to, and, and if you're, if you're not eating meat, that's your option. That's what you got. Um, but let's, uh, let's get into our orders.

Uh, Christy, you did a lot of research. You had a lot of anticipation for this meal. Yeah. What did you end up getting at KFC Canada? Uh, well, here's the thing. I did the typical like movie TV thing where you order like a ton of stuff and then you turn to the person next to you and you're like, Oh, did you want anything? I got so much food and then I was like, is this enough?

I don't know. And he's like, I'm sure that's plenty. And then I ended up finishing his off. I was the closer that day. Wow. Uh, cause I mean, then I had a terrible case of the chicken sweats. Uh, so I went for something called a Kentucky flatbread. Oh, it's like this crispy little, uh, flatbread that has like a chicken tender in

it and like a sandwich, uh, well, it's more like it's, it's almost like a taco cause it's just rolled up with just the chicken inside some lettuce and what they call a pepper mayo and the entire time I was eating it, I was like, you know what, I think it has too much cilantro. Well, I don't think it even has cilantro, but it was just, there was something about it that just was off. I finished it, but I wasn't happy about it. I mean, I also tried like dipping in every single one of the sauces because I

felt like I needed to do my research. I have to try them all ours was out of barbecue. So they couldn't send us any, which felt awful. Um, but I will say this, I have said this to Lauren multiple times in the past. KFC honey mustard is the best honey mustard you're going to find. Wow. And I stand by that. Wow.

It is, it's got like, it's, it's, it's enough mustard, but not too much honey. I don't like the ones that are overly sweet unless you're dipping on your rings and that's a whole other ball game. Yeah. Uh, I'm with you on that. Uh, that's a, that's a hot take. And I wish I'd gotten the, the honey mustard sauce to compare, but I will look out for it next time.

Um, the, the Kentucky flatbread sandwich exclusive to KFC Canada. I'm seeing now. That's why I was furrowing my brow while you were talking, but never heard of it. But it, that is just north of the border. You know, I, I would have, I could, I can't speak to any of the sauces because that's the one thing. Um, in my order that they, they didn't give me any. They did all the sauces I picked out.

They didn't give me a single sauce. I had the same thing happen to me, Mitch. Wow. Yeah. And it was, it was devastating. And I got to say the star of the meal for me was the sauces. No, and I know that I'm biased, but, but honestly, I'm still good. Anyway.

So the only thing that KFC is consistent about is being inconsistent. Sometimes you get sauces. Sometimes you don't like, I was really excited about that barbecue sauce. And it's like, well, no, I guess I'll never know. It'll always be a pipe dream. Yeah. That's a bummer. Um, so you got the flatbread.

Yeah. Uh, and then I tried a big crunch stacker because a big crunch didn't feel right. I was like, no, you got to stack it up. Now I, I've always been a fan of like a chicken sandwich. Just give me the male lettuce chicken and I'm good. But there was something just kind of like the chicken, the coating was beautiful. It was crispy.

It was lovely. Um, but it was more, I'm going to blame my location's execution on this because I gave the sandwich like a higher rating because yeah, I rated each individual item so I could give a proper rating, uh, at the end. Um, I gave it a higher rating for taste than I did for visual and execution because they said stacker, these things weren't really stacked. Like somehow they were like just barely overlapping and they put on so much mayo.

Like I love a good mayo, but I couldn't handle it. I was like, there's so much mayo. I'm like, I can't stand this. It's too much. Uh, so it was okay. But then I was like, you know what? I'm, I went for the KFC spicy famous chicken sandwich. Wow.

The coating disappointing because it's not a usual coating, but there was like a cheese sauce on it. Hook it to my veins. Amazing. And it had pickles on it. And now I'm not a fan of pickles, but I was a believer and if I'm going to do this, I'm fucking doing it right. I'm going to do it as they make it so I can let the people know this is exactly

how it is so that they don't have a different experience than I do. The pickles came off after a couple of bites because I'm like, no, they're wrecking that cheese sauce because that cheese sauce is beautiful. Wow. So, I mean, at this point, and like the spice was just the perfect amount of heat, like it wasn't so spicy that I'm like, oh, my mouth is on fire. I hate this. It was so perfect that I wished I'd got the spicy stacker when I got the big

stacker sandwich. I actually kind of wish I'd got both, but that's not the point. I didn't eat another sandwich on top of this. By this point, I've now had two very large chicken sandwiches plus like a smaller chicken sandwich. And then it's like, well, you got to try, uh, the regular, like just basic two piece chicken and it was the perfect coating from what I remember from childhood, where I just want to rip off the skin and eat it like the animal

that I am. I just, if I opened that bucket and it was nothing but the skin, oh, it's like it's, that's my birthday chicken. That is what I want. Um, I did not try this time, but one of my favorite things from there is they're hot wings. They do hot ring hot wings, right. Um, and then I thought, you know what, I want to try.

I got to, I got to give a little bit from everything. So I did try a buttermilk biscuit because those are new to, uh, KFC up here. Wow. And we never had those growing up. They never had those growing up. It's within the last, it's within the last few years. Uh, however, y'all can keep it cause, um, it was, it was light and fluffy, but it was painful to get through.

Like it was really somehow still dry. And then I, I make biscuits for my family quite often and my husband took a bite and went, Oh God, yeah. Nope, yours are better. And I took a bite and a suddenly I turned into a professional chef and went, Oh, that's too much baking powder. My money because you can, you can taste it. Like sometimes you, like a biscuit you, it's like, Oh, it's a bit flowery shirt,

but this was specifically strong baking powder. And I was like, I don't care for it. And then my husband took another bite and went, Oh, she dry. And I laughed so hard. And I was like, I'm going to tell them you also felt that way. Biscuits are definitely like an American thing. Like, like growing up, I was like, that was not a thing for us. Once in a blue moon, maybe, but I down here, it's like, that's, I know it's a

very Southern as well, but like biscuits and gravy, I had, that has never, I have never heard of that before moving to America. That was like a weird concept to me. And the Northern state, I mean, like in Massachusetts, I did not, this truly biscuits I'd associate with KFC probably for the longest time. Like I, we, we would have biscuits like on occasion, maybe as like a Thanksgiving side or someone at someone's house, but not, there were not a common thing. Like a, like biscuits, honestly, yeah, KFC was, was the biscuit spot.

And I, and I like biscuits, but they have to be, if they're too dry to, you got to toss them in the trash. They're, they're not worth anything. Yes. Um, it's a, I, I brought up the KFC Canada menu as Christy was, was talking. It is sprawling. There are, there are so many more menu items than available, uh, in the states. It really feels like we're being deprived down here.

Um, because all of these sides, they're sad. And the fries you did, you did elude the fries that are really bad, right? The best way to describe the fries is even if you're like in the restaurant and you get them, you feel like you've pulled them out of your fridge and tried to microwave them the next day. That is the consistency. They've never been good. Which is why, yeah, I didn't even bother with the fries.

I did it with the birthday chicken. So I didn't need, uh, to do it with research chicken. And so it was like, I'm going to stick to just the chicken because I know I can count on it. And it's like, overall it was decent. But again, like we, we've got mate, I think like potato salad, coleslaw, macaroni salad, and the macaroni salad has changed wildly from our youth. So it is not great either.

And then it's like, Oh, do you want corn or a biscuit? And the biscuit was like the big new thing to add. Right. But that is, that is, that's, I didn't choke it down. That's the, well, my meal was very similar to yours in that way of, I ate it, but I didn't enjoy it in many ways, which, which is tough when you're like, I told my mom, I was like, we have to get KFC. And then she, and then she was, and she was like unhappy about it because she

doesn't want me to eat fast food all the time and die, of course. Yes. And I was like, she knows what you do for a living, right? I told her basically that this is like a workout pocket. I told her what the dumbbells like, yeah, it's been hard to keep that fiction up. It's such a bummer to, to like, especially at a place like this, where it's just like, you know, it's just looking at the, the calorie count for, for a meal. It's like, well, it's 1200 calories I'm taking down in this meal.

And that was only a part of my meal. Should I get into what I ordered, Wags? Go for it. Okay. Um, so I, I, I ordered on, there's no KFC app. I ordered on the website. This is bananas. There's no KFC app.

If you search for KFC on the app store, uh, and, and, you know, I, I tried it on, I tried it on Apple. I tried it on Android. It's, it's, there's no, you get like KFC Saudi Arabia. You get like directed to like a foreign app because there's no US one. And then you look it up and it's, it's Surinam right now. It's Surinam and KFC Tobago. Those are the top two.

Yeah. It's, it's bananas. And so, and, and then if you look online, like KFC app, it's just like Reddit thread after Reddit thread. That's like, how does KFC not have an app? This is like one of the biggest chains in the US. It's, it's bananas, especially for a place where you, you might want to specify a larger order for a family or something.

And so no app. And then also the location I went to, and this is a lot of KFCs. Don't have drive-thrus. So in this age of COVID and quarantine and trying to minimize your interaction with, with, uh, with people for safety's sake, it's like, you're still having to go into a physical restaurant and then place your order. And then I guess wait outside. And if you're, if it's cold weather, uh, your SOL, it's, it's, it's a, it's a banana

system. I know, I, I was, I was shocked that there was no app. And then just doing it all online. It's, did I say Surinam, right? Is that correct? I think it's, yeah, I think so. Surinam. Surinam, all right.

Anyways, uh, oh well, I fucked up probably. Um, we're Americans. We don't need to know anything. It's hard to charm. It's hard to charm. I, I, I ordered on, uh, ordered on the website. And then I was at my house and then it was like, I ordered on Hancock street, the one that we, uh, the one that we have gone to my entire life.

Wow. That was KFC originally was just a KFC, full up KFC. And then at one point turned into a half KFC, half Taco Bell. Now look, I got something to say. Why is, and this may be controversial. I am sick. If you got a half KFC, half Taco Bell, you got to make them all both full menu because the Taco Bell at this place is not full menu.

Like the combo, the combo fast food places have to go. If they can't cover everything, don't do it. Yeah. It's not worth it. It's fucking stupid. I was, I was, I was, because that Taco Bell is, is the like the closest Taco Bell to me and it just doesn't have a lot of shit. And then I feel like there was probably some spillover here too,

because I ordered a lemonade, a strawberry lemonade, like the kernels, strawberry lemonade, and they didn't have it. They were like, we just have regular lemonade. And I was like, this tastes like minute made. This doesn't taste like a KFC lemonade or whatever. And I'm not sure if there was stuff with everything I wanted. I got, but I ordered off that specific menu. Anyways, combo places should go.

They got to go. If you, if they don't have the benefit of having everything on both menus, which seems possible, then get rid of them. Um, I ordered online at my house on the website and as soon as I pushed the order and I thought there would be like some sort of system, but it was like, your food will be ready in like three minutes. And I was like, oh shit, I got to get the hell out of here and get down and run down and get it, which is another issue of, of it's, it's, if you have the

app or whatever, I feel like it would just maybe be easier to be close and pull over and do it. Like the website was just more complicated. It sucked. So I put in the order. I drove down there quickly. I get in the drive-through wise because the direction said, at the drive, either walk in or go through the drive through, tell them that

your order is, is ready. I go through the drive-through. I said, Hey, I have a pickup. And then they said, you got to come inside. And I was like, you got to come inside. Oh, why the hell do you got to come inside? This is crazy. Yeah.

Uh, I don't want to go inside during COVID is fucking stupid. And look, whatever that's, it's, uh, I'm not blaming anyone who works there. It's not their fault. No, not their fault. Fucking been through hell, through all of this working through, through a nightmare, but, uh, but I didn't want to go inside to get the stuff, but I went in. Anyways, um, the order was ready. It was good to go, uh, and everyone inside was very nice.

They were like, you're here for a pickup? Cause there was a small line. I was like, yeah, and they, and they gave it to me right away, which is great. Um, and I grabbed the stuff I left. I came back to my house and this is what I ordered. I got a Nashville hot tenders combo, a three piece and that came with a biscuit and that lemonade that I had mentioned and the new colonels fries. Um, by the way, we should mention the colonels fries are different than the fries

they have in Canada. The fries in Canada are kind of like a sad looking, uh, conventional fry. The colonel fries, and I'll let Mitch say what he, what he thought, uh, but they are more of a breaded fry. They're a little bit more breaded. My thoughts on them are like, they were just okay. I, I like, I also am like potato wedges were the KFC thing for so long. I don't know why they got rid of them.

Why do you get rid of them? Yeah. I like, I, I don't understand what was it a thing that people wanted fries all the time or I don't know. I don't, I, I don't get it. It to me, it just feels like another young brand's business decision of like, yes, this is easier for us. So we're just going to, we're going to have fries.

So I thought the fries were like fine, but like the wedges were something unique and different. Why not keep the unique and different thing? I got to say my biscuit was really good. I'm sorry, Christy. My biscuit actually was, was really tasty. Someday I will make you biscuits and then we'll see, then we'll see. Go back to Saskatchewan just for that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you, don't phrase it like we're going to Saskatchewan for Christy's biscuits because that just feels different connotation. It's a different connotation. Do you know the only, the only, the only one making biscuits in my house? Wally and Irma upstairs, Wags.

What do you mean? My cats, my cats are making biscuits. Making biscuits. You don't know this term. You don't know this. That's what they need. Oh, I see what, I see what's going. Okay.

All right. Dear God, I haven't heard this before. Um, the tenders were not great. Also, so I ordered, I ordered two classic ranch sauces, two honey sauces and two KFC sauces. I got the pickup and I was like, I don't think that there are sauces or a straw in my bag, but this is dough boys. We got to go by how it is.

I'm going to just see how, if there, and then there were no sauces and no straw in my bag. Um, also we're cowards, which is kind of a, we can use, it's the dough boys. We have to take it as it comes, as an excuse for any sort of conversation. That's our style. A hundred percent. We can do to avoid confrontation, but I like that you've just made it your motto. You're like, well, we have to tough it out.

We're like survivor at this point. Yeah, I like it. We're not like, we're not good cowards. You were like, we're cowards that will flip sides. We'll do anything we can for self-perseverance. Yeah, I'm just waiting to sell you out. My, uh, my, my tenders were not great. They were just like a little like cold.

They just were kind of flimsy and flat in their wigs. And I didn't get, I should have gotten some plain tenders because I just wonder how they are comparatively. I don't know if they're still good or not, but they just didn't look great. I got myself a crispy Colonel sandwich. Um, and I also got, uh, for comparison reasons, I also got a chicken, little sandwich and I got to say the chicken, little sandwich was better. It's made, they're both mayoed out.

They're mayo crazy. It's just mayo and, and pickles in the, in the chicken sandwich, but one is on the little tiny bun and it's just a chicken strip. And the other is the big sandwich, the big sandwich. Look, why KFC is maybe in last place when it comes to the, the chicken sandwich wars. I mean, like a place that's, this is the, this is the first fast food fry chicken place and their chicken sandwich is not doing so good.

It like, like, I'd like, and this is a part of the thing of why I was like, why would I ever come to KFC? There's real, the only reason I come to KFC is because it's a half a Taco bell and that's the only reason I go there. There's no reason for me to go KFC ever. And like with the Popeyes chicken sandwich is a billion times better than the KFC chicken sandwich. Yeah, there's no comparison.

There, there's no comparison. And it, it, it destroyed it. Um, uh, I also got a, an ala cart breast, um, uh, the fried chicken breast. Um, and it was, it was, it was very, it was, you know what? That was my bite of the night wigs. Wow. It was, um, it was, it was, uh, juicy and, and delicious. And that was like, that was, I was like, they can still, this breast

of chicken is still good. This is like, this is their money maker and this is still fantastic. So, so that, so that to me was the, that was the plus side of the entire meal. Um, I got mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese and coleslaw. The best of those three was coleslaw. The mac and cheese was the worst. Just a fucking goopy mess. Didn't taste like anything had no taste to it.

And then like I was saying the mashed potatoes, they're, they, they're just like, what was it? What was the word I described in as earlier? It's the paste. Yeah. Paste. They are, they're just a paste, like a fucking tasteless paste. Terrible.

It's like future food. It's like future prison food, just like a mush of nutrition. I mean, yeah, I mean, the mac and cheese and the mashed potatoes tasted like, like what you would think prison food tastes like, which is also sucks. I don't want prisoners eating that shit either. It's fucking terrible. Um, and then, uh, and that's, that's, that's basically it. That's all, that's all I got, a lot of food.

Uh, and I also got myself a chocolate chip cake. Um, and that chocolate chip cake was good. Those, that was the highlight, the chocolate chip cake, which I think that they get from other restaurants or whatever. And the, the a la carte breast, uh, which was, which was, was still pretty good. And then besides that, yeah, everything else kind of trash, honestly, even the lemonade, which was just like a minute made lemonade. I was extremely disappointed by my visit.

Wow. That's a bummer. Uh, well, Lauren, we got to get to your order. Yeah. I did door dash, uh, which I don't normally use, but I will say it was very hot. It got there extremely quickly. And I was very happy that it was so hot. Uh, the famous bowl was the first item.

And this to me, I was like, this is going to be a home run because for me, I like sauces and I like mash it. You know what I'm saying? Put a bunch of shit in a bowl, mix it together. That's ideal for me. I lifted the lid off of it and I was hit with a paste slash. I would describe as wet cardboard smell. It just was like, and then when you tasted it, it was honestly, it was so gross.

I didn't finish it. And this to me, I thought was going to be, this was going to be the star. Like I was like, Oh, that's a no brainer. I'm going to love it. I thought it was awful. Um, my opinion. Now I did a bunch of a la carte things because I haven't had it in so long. And I wanted to compare it.

So I wanted to try, uh, a breast in the original recipe, a breast in the extra crispy recipe, a drumstick in the original recipe. And here's the joke is that I tried the original recipe breast and I was like, Oh my God, it's so greasy. And my memory of KFC from back home in Canada is not that it's dry, but it's like it's, it's good. It's juicy, but it's not greasy. If that makes sense.

And this was just so overly greasy to me and, but this is the joke. My boyfriend is from Tennessee and he took a bite and he was like, Oh, this is way less greasy than what I remember from when I was a kid. So that again, my preference there in my knowledge base, I think maybe regional. Um, so it did feel extremely greasy to me, but again, to him, it felt like it was like they'd made some good changes. So that was interesting. Uh, then I got a five piece tender's box with coleslaw and fries.

Loved the tenders, the crispy coating tenders. I thought they were great. I didn't think that they were like, you know, there was nothing next level about them, but would I eat them again? If I was on a road trip and that was an option. Sure. I really liked the new fries, the coated fries. Now, again, I'm comparing them to the sad, soggy Canadian KFC fries that

we grew up with that literally are like limp, like you pull them out. It looks like noodles almost when you pull them out of the box. They're just like so pathetic and sad. I like they were super hot again, which I think was helpful. They, they, they were crispy. That to me was again, one of the stars for me. And the coleslaw was a real gem because it felt like it was real food. It felt like it was real cabbage.

There was a crunch to it. Again, uh, you may want to look up a picture of what Canadian old school, uh, KFC coleslaw was because it can be best described as like a, uh, mint green kind of slurry. It, it looks like toothpaste. Oh man. That's what it used to, and I never ate it growing up. Uh, Christy, did you ever eat it growing up? Yeah, it was, it freaked me out cause it looked so like, again,

it looked, it looked like it should be minty. So I never ate it, but this new one that I had this time was great. And then I got a lot of the sauces. Again, the honey mustard was great. The barbecue, I got the honey barbecue sauce. That was great. And the KFC sauce, ah, I read the ingredients. I think it's literally just like ketchup and mustard with like a couple of spices.

Not exactly reinventing the wheel here. Um, but I loved it. I, that is one that I definitely, uh, I have another one in my fridge. I've saved it because I was like, we're going to want this for another, for another meal. Um, but again, overall for me, the fries, the tenders and the sauces, that was, that stuff, I was really into the sauces being a 10 out of 10. The fries were really good, but, uh, the bowl was again, inedible.

I did not finish it. And I did find all of the, the ala cart chicken for my taste was too greasy. Man, well, that's your experience. If you're able to eat chicken, yeah, what's it like? If you can't have chicken, it feels bleak, it feels bleak. We'll find out right after the break. We'll be right back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys.

We are here with Lauren Ash and Christy Oxford of true crime and cocktails, the podcast, talking KFC. Uh, so, you know, this year I'm, I'm eating vegetarian, no meat shell I eat. And I decided when I'm going to KFC and I went for lunch, that I was going to approach this in terms of, I am going to actually craft a meal. I'm trying as an exercise to be like, if I, if like, let's say the, you know, the work convoy is going to KFC, the consensus is we're getting KFC for lunch. Um, how do I get myself, you know, something resembling a lunch, uh, with

the restriction of not having any chicken. And it was challenging, but I decided to use my, to make my, my, I guess what would be like my main, uh, a large mac and cheese. So I had a large mac and cheese as I mentioned, they streamlined their size. So there aren't a lot, uh, which is like a family portion of mac and cheese. It's a, it's a big bowl. Uh, I got a small coleslaw and a small fry and a biscuit. And then I got an iced tea.

And this is, this is just kind of my little, a platter that I was going to eat. God, that sucks. Yeah. It's grim on its face. I will say eating it. And Mitch, I know you didn't like your mac and cheese, but mine was pretty good. Wow. Okay.

It was, you know, it was consistency issues. Yeah. I, I, I think, you know, it was definitely goopy, but it was nice and cheesy. And, and, you know, Lauren talked about the, her food, uh, being hot. Mine was night. It was like pipe and hot. And that helped it a lot. I thought the mac and cheese was solid.

Uh, the coleslaw is okay. I feel like that's like where, you know, I don't know. I mean, we talked about two, a few of you mentioned too much mayo earlier. I feel like their coleslaw could use a little bit more mayo. It's kind of almost a little vinegary and thin, but I think it's okay. It's, it's a little, it's also a little too minced for my, uh, preferences. Texture wise. Not a mayo for the mayo man, it sounds like.

Yeah. Could use some more mayo. Uh, and then the fries, I, I agree with Lauren. I think they were pretty good. The secret recipe fries. I like the breading. I like the coating. I like the seasoning.

They're, they're lightly seasoned. The issue is, you know, I asked for some sauces and I didn't get them. I've had the KFC sauce before and I think it's their attempt to clone the Chick-fil-A sauce. Yeah. And I think it's, I think it's good. I mean, I liked that KFC sauce. I was hoping to get that, hoping to get some barbecue, hoping to get some ranch. Uh, instead came out of their dry.

It was, it was a real bummer. So I was eating these fries and, um, you know, they were fine plain. I had a little catch up in my fridge. I used some catch up and that woke them up a little bit. Uh, but I think they were not bad. It's just, it's just a bummer. I didn't get the sauces and no butter or honey for my biscuit, which was also a bummer. So I was just eating that biscuit plain.

Uh, again, my biscuit was pretty good. I think, like I had kind of low expectations, but, but I think overall everything was not bad. Um, did you have the best meal of all of us? The vegetarian, that's what I may be realizing. Yeah. Maybe, maybe again, it could, it could have just been like, you know, uh, me going in thinking this was going to be pretty exeggable and then actually having

something approximating a decent meal, uh, it could have just been expected. The expectations game. But yeah, it's not the best advertising for KFC. If it's like, if you're vegetarian, you'll love it. KFC, avoid the chicken. Yeah. Or like lower your expectations and you might be okay with it. Yeah.

I think, you know, Mitch, you talked about why go to KFC. And I think the, the reason is just cause it's ubiquitous, it's just like that. That may just be the fried chicken option in your town. That may just be the one. You know, you, maybe you don't have a Popeyes. Maybe you don't have a church. Yes. Maybe you don't have a Bojangles.

But if you do, I'd go to any of those before, and I've never been to Bojangles, but I'd go to any of those before I go to KFC. A hundred percent. Um, but we, uh, Mitch, you talked to, you said you, we had drink thoughts. Oh, no, no, no, I was just, I was going to say we, we got to talk about cocktails. Oh, talk about cocktails. Okay. We'll get into that in a second.

Um, right now we should get into our final thoughts on KFC. Uh, so here's how this will work. We will each go around, give our closing argument, if you will, based on this experience and the lifetime of experiences at this chain, and then end by giving it a fork score from zero out of five forks. Uh, we begin with our guests. So, uh, Christy, we'll begin with you. Oh, I've been waiting for this moment.

So, I mean, childhood wise, KFC, I felt like Mr. Monopoly money bags. It was just, you go there when you're feeling pricey, uh, it was a good time. Again, I would eat a bucket of the skin if it was allowed. Um, their honey mustard is my favorite thing they've ever done to the point where my husband has gone and just purchased like so much honey mustard and filled my Christmas stocking with just the little things of honey mustard because I love it so much.

Um, but I feel like it has really declined over the years. I feel like it just hasn't lived up and maybe it was the nostalgia that I was hoping for that it didn't quite hit, um, that whatever that spicy cheese sauce is, just put it on everything and it will make everything better. I'm so sorry that the Canadian biscuits aren't as good as my own, but, uh, in the end, I'm going to say, and this is being kind due to the honey mustard and the cheese sauce factor, I'm going to go two forks, two tines. Wow.

Wow. Two forks, two tines. Wow. That cheese sauce, again, it was beautiful. Um, I love that you clearly done your prep on, uh, the dumb tine system we have on our stupid podcast, that's how we rate things. I told you, I researched. So I was like, I'd already listened to some episodes and then I was like, we're

technically KFC too. I got to go KFC one. So I had to make sure I was, again, I watched that. Mario Lopez short for you guys. I'm like, I got to, I got to do my due diligence and, uh, right. So this is research chicken. This is what happens when we logged on, I said, you don't know what you signed up for by asking us to come on, but the answer is just people who really, really give

a shit. I was going to say, we're such bad podcast hosts that you mentioned watching that movie and we just nodded. We didn't even ask you anything about it. We haven't seen it. There's nothing to, there's nothing. Nothing to know. It's Colonel Sanders played by Mario Lopez trying to be hot, but it's like hot

Mario Lopez with just like white hair and glasses. And he's the, some rich family, he's their chef. And it's like, well, here's our chef, Harlan. And I'm like, Oh, here we go. Like him and the wife might start an affair. Like it was a weird, it was a weird short. There is some steaminess to it. There's some sort of like romance at play or with, with Mario Lopez as the

colonel or no. Oh yeah. Like you can't have Mario without there being some heat. Like you can put whatever you want on him, but you can't cover that face in those dimples. You know, like, you know, they're there. Very interesting though, that they chose to spend that money making that, which ultimately how long was it?

Isn't it like 17 minutes or something? It's like a short. It's, it's a short. Like it's easily like 12, 15. Yeah. But my question for the young foods people is, is that it's like, why are you investing however many, you know, hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars in that kind of bizarre attempt at viral marketing?

Why are you more concerned? You know, about the food, right? Exactly. Yes. Put the money in the product. The money into the secret recipe. Yeah. This is my, this is my exact, that, that is my exact same thought, but, but, but

please go on with your review. I would, I was so excited because that, what the, what the fuck is going on over there, that there's a million new kernels and every, and then. Your food is bad. You're doing a bad job with your food for God's sakes. I do like the, the rotating kernel campaign. I did, I do think those are fun, but I, I agree that the, the product seems to be suffering.

Um, uh, uh, thank you, Christy Lauren, uh, your thoughts, your fork score. Listen again, we're Canadian. And so my gut is to try and be nice. It's to try and find something positive to say it's to try and, you know, not be mean. Um, so, you know, I will say, look, I liked the new fries. And, and again, if I would say that this is my new experience with KFC, because our association with it from childhood was, this is a special event.

This is a once in a while situation. Um, and my memories of it are fond, even though I didn't necessarily love it then, but I will say, if I'd known them, what I know now, I would have loved it, the chicken more than, um, I think that this is literally, this is a food that you, you eat now by, you know, need. So if you're on a road trip, like I said before, and you're, this is the only option, get the chicken tenders and some fries, the mac and cheese, some coleslaw, those kinds of things, some safe options.

I, I just think that they've jumped the shark on their buckets of chicken, which is very sad. I think that they, again, they have not, they've made some changes that just aren't working. They're investing their money in weird ways, but I did love again, the fries. I loved the sauces. The chicken tenders were, again, they were fine. So I think I am going to give it two forks.

Wow. Two forks. Yeah. All right, Mr. Slice. I, Lauren, you need, you just nailed it on the head of why are you making a 17 minutes short with Mario Lopez? Why aren't you, why isn't your food tasting good?

It's just, it's just a failure. It's, it's such a fail. I mean, I said, and, and, Nick, I think it's, it's, it's kind of a thing that we see over and over again with this, with yum brand restaurants. Cause pizza hut is a yum brand restaurant too. Right. Yes. Pizza hut, Taco Bell, KFC there.

And so they're shining stars, Taco Bell, which I, which I love. And then they made some decisions in the last couple of years, which we do not like at all. And so I'm like, man, pizza hut, KFC, these two things, these two places, when I was a kid that were so important to me, as far as like food goes, getting a bucket of KFC chicken, it was delicious. The sides were fun, mashed potatoes. They were good.

And the same thing with pizza hut. And I feel like they've just both fallen so far. And, and it's, it's, it's a true bummer because I, I'm very nostalgic for that big bucket of chicken insides on that, on that night when mom and dad are feeling fun and they want to get, when then they want to get a big takeout. When it's chicken night, a big Friday night chicken night. That's, it's sad to me that that I would never, ever want to do that at KFC ever again.

I mean, there are better options, but like that I would do that with Popeyes or another place. You know what I mean? They're, it's not like I wouldn't do it at a fast food restaurant. Uh, so it's just, it's a bummer to me. The best thing I had was the, the a la carte breast, which is, they should have a better name for that too, because I've said it seven times now. And I feel awkward every time I say it.

How about a KFC single or something? Or, or like a single bite. What, well, like, why, like everything there just seems fucking often bad. Wigs, I, I, it was, it was a disappointment to, to me. And I, Christy, when you said two and a half forks, I wanted to give it two and a half forks, just for nostalgic reasons, but I can't, I'm going with Lauren on hand holding club, two forks. It, wow, two forks.

It needs to fucking man. Yum foods needs to step up their game or, or shut down, go away forever. I mean, like, like do one of the two. It truly, it truly bums me out. And especially just knowing that KFC was like, they started it all. They're the start. And I know that, like, as far as national fast food chains, and you're just, you're, you're pathetic.

You're, you, you look bad. Yum brands, you should be ashamed of yourself and sold your billion dollar company. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Um, it's, I, I mean, I think we're all on the same page here. It's, it's, this was a disappointing outing. Although it exceeded my meager expectations, it still was not, you know, this, this is not a meal I would get again.

And, you know, over the course of this, this, uh, this exercise, which is still in the first couple months of, of, of not eating any meat at these chain restaurants, there are ones that are meals that I'd, I'd, I'd get again. I'd go back to Jersey Mike's, get that veggie sub for sure. This one is in the five guys category. The, uh, the, you know, the Popeye's chicken category of just like, I wouldn't get this as a meal, uh, as someone who doesn't eat meat. If I had to get this, then there's something I could eat, but I would never

go out of my way to be like, this is something I want. And I'm still eating fast food, like by the truffle as a vegetarian. I'm still getting a ton of fast food. I'm feeling like a lot of that has Del Taco. Am I wrong? A lot of Del Taco, uh, Taco Bell, Burger King. Um, you know, these are, they're, Burger King's Impossible Whopper is a game changer. I mean, that is just like, it's, it's so good.

Yeah. Uh, so, but, but this is one I'd not go back to the absence of an app is just, it's, it's disappointing. It's also, this is, this might sound, sound hyperbolic. I think it's a little irresponsible. I think right now not having an app means more people are going to go into the restaurant and order there and be waiting in the waiting area. I think get yourself an app.

What are you doing? Again, I can't, I can't believe they don't have it also just it's nonsense. So the deterioration of the quality of food to me is like, why is that a Yum's brand thing? Why, why was there such a like, why did pizza had to have like, when you went there and got the pan pizza, it was good. Yeah. And now it tastes like shit.

And the same thing with KFC, like, and look, like I said, that the Alucard chicken breast was delicious, but that was it. That was the only, that was the highlight of my meal. The other, the other highlight was a cake that they, that they, that KFC doesn't even make, you know what I mean? Yeah. Uh, what is it? What, what's happening?

What is, what's going on at Yum Foods? You know, I don't, I don't know. I don't know what exactly the issue is with Yum brands is kind of a rudderless ship. Hopefully they'll, they'll figure things out, uh, because KFC was my, was my chicken restaurant growing up and Pizza Hut was my pizzeria growing up. Those are, those are the two of the three, uh, you know, two of the three of their properties we were getting regularly when my family ate out.

Uh, so, but this was not a, this was not a good outing. And, uh, I'm, I'm in the same ballpark with everyone. We're ballpark buds. Uh, I'm going to go two forks for KFC. Yeah. Now I feel like I was too nice. No, but you know what, I think that the Canadian experience was different. And there's a lot more menu options and the cheese sauce you described alone.

I think that deserves two. Yeah. I want the cheese sauce. If I had that cheese sauce to dip these fries in, I mean, I probably, that probably would be an extra half fork right there. Yeah. It maybe would be, it maybe would go to five fours. I want to dip, I want to dip that, uh, breast that he's talking about in the

cheese sauce, but also just partially because I know it makes him uncomfortable. Go behind your beaded curtain and eat your breast. I'll, I'll cut breast was a very, it was hard for me to say it first of all, because of my accent and it is just a very awkward, seems like a bizarre strip club thing. Yeah. Very, very weird. I don't, I don't know if there's really a menu at a strip club, but like, I guess

you tip them, I'd like, I'd like the ala cart breast, you know, and then you put the single in and yeah, that's an interesting way of going about it. But that's, that, that, that's me. I guess like, look, what I should have done has gotten the bone in, I guess the, the real failing of them is, is the chicken strips are just not, my chicken strips are not good, but it seems to just be a quality issue, which, which we notice with places that aren't as good, like the quality will dip from place to place. And especially between Canada and the United States, but I feel like a chain

that is a little shaky, you can go to one place and it can be good. And you can go to another place. It can be terrible. We say that a lot with Burger King, who we think is back a little. Burger King is back. Yeah. We say it's back, but you remember that forever wise. You go to one Burger King, it'll be a fucking hellhole.

Oh, for sure. And you'll go to another one and it will be like, this is delicious. So I think KFC falls into that kind of same category. Yeah. But just a, just a, just a disappointment with such delightful guests. Yeah. Such a bummer. Shame on you.

Yum. Brands. We had to bring it up to make up for KFC's shortcomings. And I should say, like in Canada, we don't have the app either. So we ordered it online. Cause we're like, well, we don't want to go, um, we don't want to actually go into the building. So we're like, well, it'd be great.

And so we ordered it online. And it was like, well, your order's ready in zero minutes. Yeah. And we're like, oh shit. Okay. And so it was like, who's going to go? I'm like, well, I'm obviously not going to go. So I'm like, yeah, have fun.

And he picked it up because I was like, oh, I'm treating you to dinner, but you have to pick it up. But yeah, I mean, that would have been a nice something like to order online or even to like say in approximate time, don't stress me out with the, oh, well it's ready now. Go, go, go. Get in the car. And it's like, no, I just stop.

I don't need the extra stress. It definitely feels odd to me that, that in an attempt to make a viral video, make this short film, which obviously costs a lot of money, casting a, you know, whatever, a star in it and whatever, it does seem odd. Cause that feels like it's appealing to the youth that they wouldn't spend money having an app. It does feel like an odd business choice. I agree, I agree with you, Mitch, that it feels like there's something

bigger at play here. This is my own conspiracy. This is our podcast coming into play here. But it does feel a little bit odd to me that for a company making a choice to make that, again, that short film, like it just was so, it was such a weird, you know, way to a lot funds, but then they don't have an app. Again, I just feel like there's somebody who's like trying to see how to appeal to, to the youth and is missing the mark completely.

It's irresponsible to the people who work for KFC and for customers to have such bad, make those stupid movies and then have such bad quality food. The people, the people are risking their lives working at your restaurant and your food is really bad. It's bad. It makes me mad. Sorry. I just, one of the most disappointing trips I've had for in, in, in the show

in a while. And we, I mean, it's mostly disappointing. Yeah. You mean the show, you mean the listeners experience? Sorry, the show. Yes. Uh, hey, that was our review of KFC. It's time for a segment.

We've got a set of fast food jingles and everyone has to guess what year they're from. It's another edition of jingle all the way spelled W-H-E-Y. God. This is the brainchild of the drop king, Robert Persinger. Emma will play each jingle and then everyone will guess the year. Whoever gets closest without going over prices, right? Style gets one point and there's also the art and marine rule.

If you get the year on the dot, you get two points. Wow. So, so we'll, we'll show, we'll show and add, uh, our listeners will hear the audio, um, and then we'll each guess. Everyone will guess that we'll rotate the order a year and you're trying to get it on the dot and not going over, uh, any questions on the rules? We got it. No.

Love it. All right. Emma, let's play this first jingle. There's something special happening at Kentucky Fried Chicken. We start with real buttermilk and we make them fresh all through the day, fresh, like our chicken, cause that's the kernels way. All right. Wow.

Ooh. We heard the song and we were looking at a gray screen, uh, because of technical difficulties, uh, which, but we did see for a second, we did see a still, which, which I do think will come into play for me as far as guessing that year. Um, well, the guests go first, correct? Yes. We'll, we'll, we'll rotate the order, but for this first one, uh, Lauren, you'll go first, then Christie, then Mitch, Lauren, what year do you think this ad that

we just heard the jingle of, uh, was released in 1985. Wow. 1985. So very, such a confident guess. And I, and I think that that's a great guess. Thank you. Love the confidence. Uh, Christie, what do you think?

Uh, I mean, I, it, it really got rock, like rocking partway through that. So I was like, at first I'm like, ooh, early eighties, but then I was like, oh, but then it pumped in some like hot 88 jam. I don't know what that means. Um, so I'm, you know what? I'm going to go, I'm going to go 1986. 86. Ooh, I like it.

All right, Mitch. I hate to do this, but this was always my plan, but I'm, I'm, I'm going 87. The, the, when I first thought, I thought 87 immediately. Cause I think it's, I think it's right in some sort of sweet spot, but it could be one of those things that it's early. It could be, if this turned out to be 83, I'd be like, Oh, okay. Yeah. Sure.

But, but 87 is what I think. Why, tell me, tell me one of us nailed it correctly. Mitch, you kind of nailed it in that it did turn out to be 1983. That's when this fresh spot was from featuring Thomas F. Wilson of back to the future in his first acting role. Wow. So there you go. I wish you could have seen it real downer.

Now that we know we didn't get to see it. I know, thanks. Why, uh, he played a construction worker and this is the, this was the, this commercial introduced biscuits to the U S. So his quote is basically without me, there wouldn't be biscuits at Kentucky fried chicken. You're welcome. Stop it.

We're already sad. We didn't get to see it. All right. Let's move on to the next one. This next one, maybe we'll see the next one. Let's see. I love this. Next one is from KFC Australia.

Oh, I like. KFC's original recipe. I like that. Crush I'll take me any which way you like your KFC mix and match. So you can mix or match any size pack of KFC, any combination of new, tasty, crispy or original recipe, any size pack, any quantity, any which way you like it. Jesus.

I like it like that. The sound of the falling chicken was going to drive me insane bizarre sound design, not at all. Dear Lord falling piece of chicken would sound like and the eyes of people who have recently done meth, like a lot of intensity. Now this, this to me, I don't know. I'm not sure who's in my is who's going first. Me or Christy, Christy, you're first this round.

Um, Oh, I'm going to go 1993. Ninety three. That's a great guess. 83. Mitchell 1993. Oh, 93. I apologize. 93.

So in my head, I was like, maybe this is 88. The one I guess last time I said 88, but maybe this is 88. But then I'm also like, Australia is probably a couple of years behind us. So maybe this is like 2019. But I'm going to go with 1990, 1990 exactly. 1990 on the dot, on the dot. Lauren, what do you think? I think this was pre Kurt Cobain, everybody.

I think this was, I feel like people were still joyful. Then it was before the grunge movement. I think, um, did you say 1990? Yep. I'm going to say 91. I'm going to be that. I'm going to be that person. 1991.

I did it last time. And the closest that came out in 1992. So Lauren, you get a single point for that one. I was going to say a win, but I hate to see me lose. Yeah. Let's play the next dad. Yes. As we're waiting for this to load up, what are you?

I want to know what your guys' favorite cocktails are. What are some of your favorite cocktails? Um, because you got a pod that talks about cocktails. We do. Yeah. And crime, but we do. We, we experimented with some, some stuff, uh, around Christmas time that got real messy.

Yeah. I love it. But what came out of it was we came up with a couple of recipes that, that have become real favorites for us. Oh wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, there was the one where it was so much alcohol that halfway through the show, I took my pants off and then I literally don't remember

recording the rest of the episode. Like I listened to it back and I was like, damn, yeah, I don't remember any of that. So we can send you that recipe if you're interested. It's, it's booze on booze in that one. It was, it was, it was hard to take down. Well, it was easy to take down. I guess it took me down. What kind of, like, what's a, what's it maybe approximating of

existing drinks, existing drinks? Um, well, that was like a slush drink, right? That was the one. Yeah. So it was, uh, cause we were trying, we had a made a joke in an earlier episode where Christy referred to herself as having the nickname, uh, dirty slurpee. Uh, meaning just like a, like I would slurpee that had a little booze in it. So then we can't, she came up with a recipe for an actual dirty slurpee.

Um, but it was a, it was a lot. We both made it individually. Uh, and it was like blue curacao and rum and vodka. And it was, it was preseco and preseco, like it was mostly alcohol. There was not a lot of, uh, non-alcohol ingredients in there. So it packed a punch. I'll say that it packed a punch. You didn't really like it because it was so like, you didn't really like the

slurpee sort of factor where a slurpee, as we've already pointed out, is where I live. So I was like, give me that. And I, I, it was bad. It was really bad. It was bad. She says bad. I say amazing.

I would definitely love the recipe for, I feel like I, I eventually will just end up in, in my underwear. If I'm a drinking heavily anyway of that, that will eventually happen to me. But a guarantee would be great. I would love to, I would love it so that I don't wake up in my genes. So I would love to have that recipe, but some of the ones I've had since I've been home, I had a, I made Royal Hawaiians, which is, which uses Empress gin, Empress 1908 gin, which, which, uh, drop king gifted me for the holidays.

Wags, uh, I don't know if he gifted you that. So maybe I shouldn't have said it. Um, yeah, I didn't get anything. And then, uh, and then I got, I made some my ties. Tim Calpakis gave me the recipe for like the original my tie. Wow. Recipe and that's been fun to do. But as far as winter drinks go, I made a, a hot chocolate and horchata, which

I, which I, which I love hot and rum chata. Sorry. Rum, yeah. So it's like, it's like, but it is like horchata, but yeah, uh, hot chocolate and rum chata, and then classic hot cider with, uh, with bourbon in it, which was also, that's nice. That smells like Christmas. Man, hot booze.

I just can't do. I just, that just gets me, I think the, the mixture of heat and alcohol. And it's, if there's caffeine in there, like an Irish coffee or something, that just makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. That'll make you go crazy. Yeah. All right. Sorry for the detour.

Let's get back to the game. Why I love it. Let's play this next ad. We start with good fresh chicken. Oh man. We know we should. Eleven herbs and spices. Make it finger licking good.

We don't, we roll a choppy. It's chicken. Nothing more. That's a real good reason why smart folks come here more. It's so nice. A lot of visual cues there, anchoring that one in a previous era in earlier time, but how early, and also we should mention that you can't hear it, but you see, uh, the kernel himself is in that commercial, the actual kernel.

That is the actual kernel. That's what I was going to ask. Yeah. No, that's not, that's not, uh, that's not, you know, like, um, Thomas Hayden church and makeup or whatever they're doing these days. Wow. You couldn't tell by a sweet dance moves that that wasn't a legit year old. For those who are not watching it, it's a very quick kind of startling.

It's almost like in, in, uh, in signs when you see the alien, it's kind of like the kernel walks by quickly in the background. It's like, it's like the, that, that era is Stan Lee cameo in a Marvel movie. Yeah. That's the actual colonel that I feel like actual kernel. This is like the most like, uh, celebrity shock I think I've ever had is seeing the actual kernel in a video. I feel like I've never seen them before.

Um, anyway, your first kernel is alive. So this is seventies in my mind at some time in the seventies, of course. Um, but when in the seventies is it? I feel like going too early, like you're like, it looked too fresh and clean to me to be like super early seventies, right? And like, we've even watched some of these. We've watched like, or like, or like late seventies commercials and they

don't look usually that good. I'm going to go 19. Hmm. You know what? The bicentennial. 1976. For a second, it felt like you were trying to see if I knew when it was like you're quizzing me on the bicentennial.

Maybe I was 1976. Is your 1976. I feel like that's probably going to be too early. I wanted to say 77 or 78, but 76. Set 1976 is Mitch's guess. Uh, Lauren, it's your turn. You know what? I'm going to, I'm going to be bold and I'm going to go further back.

I'm going to go 74. Wow. I like it. I like it. Yeah. Christy, what do you think? I mean, the second that I saw his face, I was like, well, great. Now I know what year it wasn't because I know when he died.

So I know it had to be before that, because he died in 1980. I don't know if we've discussed that already, but I was like, oh, okay, then it has to be before that. So I, I thought I had a little leg up on the competition. No pun intended. But now I'm like, ah, God, I've got nothing. I do love that their campaign was like smart people. That felt really bold.

Oh man. You know what? I'm probably going to regret this, but I'm just going to go for a solid 78. You're not going to regret it because you've got it on the dot. Two points for Christy. Marine. Thank you for the rules. Yeah.

Seventy. Seventy was my original thought. God damn it. He did look like he was on the way out the door. That's why I'm like, yeah, that's within two years of his death. Yeah. I don't know what my research pays off. The research pays off.

I think a big hint is a mortician at one point does measure him mid commercial. They just put him in a chicken bucket. I was going to say 78. I'm so mad at myself. That bicentennial thing fucked up big. Wow. All right. We've got two more.

Christy has two. Lauren has one. Mitch has yet to get on the board. Let's play the next one. Emma. Thanks for the reminder. Why do we work so hard to make original recipe chicken so special? Cause you've got a right to stick in done rice.

The taste that says it's just one bite. And only chicken. It's pressure cause the colonel's way and serve with fresh buttermilk. We used to have much lower standards for what was acceptable lip syncing. Yes. That's that is wild. Yeah. Oh, wow.

Though adorable, those two actors are adorable. I think I, I think I fall in love with both of them. Um, I, uh, this, this, I, I have an idea for this one, but I'm not first. So I don't know why I'm getting into it right now. It's, it's a, Lauren, I believe it's your turn. Okay. First of all, I love bizarro young Kevin Bacon in there. I feel like it was, but it's not.

It looks like they definitely went out for the same parts and that guy hates him to this day because, because bacon, you know what I mean? Bacon really beat him out long term. Um, it feels also, I just have to very quickly say, just feel like such an American commercial. The fact that it's like, it's your right. It's my right to have fried chicken is just such a funny American concept. I love, um, I'm going to say, oh man, I'm going to say, oh, I'm like, do you go the

other way? 72. I don't know. Wow. 72. I've lost it. I've lost it. I got to say that blew my mind.

I thought I was going to go 80s and then I was like, but what if it's maybe I'm going to sleep, I'm going to sleep, but if we both go over, you get the point. There you go. So maybe it's the long game you're playing here. This is, see, this is, this is a little advantage I have is that our podcast goes so fucking long that our guests start falling asleep and I start winning the games. I just mean, I've lost my mind. Like it's time to put her to bed.

She's, she's stabbing in the dark. Oh boy. I feel like if you pulled most Americans on, if they'd like to replace like the right to trial by jury with the right to fried chicken, that it would be like 80, 20, like wouldn't a landslide. I think in my mind, I was like, this is post-Vietnam. I bring the story that makes no sense. No sense.

So anyway, so he just got home from fighting and he's going to, yep, for everyone's right to have fried chicken. That's what he fought for. Then that's why there's a little like the little ribbon of honor. Again, I'm, I'm, yeah, Nana out. Spit on me for this. Uh, all right, Christy, what's your guess? What year does that come out in?

See, now I was going to say hire, but then when she goes that low, then I'm like, well, when she goes low, I go low. I know that's not the right way. Um, you know what? I was going to say maybe like 83. Oh, I'm just, I'm going to lock in 81. 81. This is the 81.

All right. All right. Spoon man. The guy in the sweater, he looks like someone who was like in a frat and then like hazed someone and they died or something made someone drink too much. And then she was there. She was in a sorority and she was there with him, the, the, the woman in the commercial and they like watched this guy, this freshman die.

And, and that it feels like light on the witness stand. Yeah. Haunting them to their graves. It feels like, it feels like that sort of America is starting to take over in the commercial, which is sadly the America that like kind of is where we're like, like that's the start of the bad place. We're in now basically, but they both become red state governors. Yes.

Yeah. She, she currently doesn't believe in Corona virus. I'm going to say 19 the year of my birth and I'm sorry to do this. Chrissy 1982. 1982, the year of Mitch's birth is the closest to the actual year 1984. So Mitch, you get a single point. We have one left. This will determine the winner.

Christy has two points. Mitch has one point. Lauren has one point. Let's play this final ad. If, if, oh Toyota. Okay. Little hint beforehand. Okay.

Wow. Just a bizarre scenario to just have a dance party where everyone's eating fried chicken. Yeah. There was a guy dancing and eating a, uh, ca, like a cob of corn, a corn cob. Yeah. And just really strange. I think that's officially birthday chicken.

Isn't it? That is, that's, that is a birthday chicken moment right there. Yeah. And I got to say, I got to say this. Lauren just made a good point of pre Cobain, which that very much feels like maybe pre Cobain, I shouldn't have said it, but, but I feel like that is a world before we got a little dark. Maybe that will be some sort of a guide to Christy's thinking.

Christy, what year do you think this came out in? I'm torn. Oh, it's probably going to be a lot later than I'm thinking, but you know what? I'm going to go 91. 1991. Yeah. Mitch, what do you think? I think that, I think it, it is maybe pre, but I also feel like it's like was

came out and was like, Oh no, man, it does have like that weird early 90s focus. I want to say 94 and go a little later, but I think I'm going to go 92. 1992, 92 year of the dream team. That feels like it could be right. I mean, it feels, it feels less dark. It feels kind of corny and it got some 80s corny cheesiness to it, but I don't know. All right, Lauren, 1991, 1992 are the guesses on the board.

What do you think? 1964. I'm kidding. She's made a terrible guess. That will haunt me. You know, I know I talked about a pre Cobain world before and I still believe that, but then I'm like, was this a response? Like, was this later?

Was this like a trying to look back to a pre Cobain world in a nostalgic manner? Or it could just be completely out of touch. Like a lot of commercials are possible. Also possible. You know what? I'm going to, I'm going to say 94. Wow. Wow.

1994. Wow. One of you got it on the dot. Wow. And we'll get two points and we'll win. That person is the Spoonman Mike Mitchell 1992. Wow. How about that?

That's no fun when I win. Agreed. Yeah, we all agree. No one's happy. No one's happy, especially me. I'm pissed. No, it was a well fought battle. It was a well fought battle.

Yeah. It was a comfort behind when, um, and, uh, I'm not proud of it because, uh, I've had a lot, but you know what? I had such a good time with you guys as guests in during the game. Oh, well, there you go. And also we have to do a stupid question still. Yeah. We also still have a question.

Sorry. You know what's, you know what's sad is that if I could go back in time, I would like just want to try old fast food. Like I would want to, I want to eat it. Like I would love to eat a KFC back in like the eighties and just see how it tasted and then if people would be like, warn us about the future. I'd be like, I don't really know that much. I would have to just be like, everyone be on alert on September 11th.

That's like, Oh, I could give people. Do you have a year? Maybe warn them about COVID. I also love that you just, you're, you've planned on going back and like fully like kicking the door in like, so I'm from the future. Tell you, instead of just like going there quietly and like eating your meal and just being like, I dressed differently. It's fine.

You know, I like that you want to be so open about it. No, no, I'm going to be like, I'm from the future. Give me free meals. And I don't know. I can't help you on any way. That's basically what I want to do. Yeah. Just like a restaurant value feedback.

Let's open up the feedback. Today we have a question from at Shelby seven in our email. Hey, dough boys. I love the podcast. I was listening to an episode where you mentioned the Tonga room in San Francisco and it brought back many good memories. I went to the Tonga room when I visited San Francisco for a psychology conference.

I love the kitschy Tiki vibes, but could not believe how expensive the drinks were. I was visiting from Canada and the exchange rate is ridiculous. I have never done this before, but I decided to steal the cute Tiki glass. I felt the price of the cocktail warranted. I convinced all my friends to take their glasses to have you ever stolen something from a restaurant. I've attached a picture of me having the best time ever at the Tonga room with

my infamous stolen glass. So we have a smoking gun photograph. I will share with you guys. Guess what that Shelby has sent in Shelby. We've forwarded this picture to the authorities. Yes. Interpol is en route. You're going to the Hague.

Wow. Wow. She stole the glass. Hmm. I mean, the drinks are expensive at Tonga room. So what is her question? Will you forgive me? Yeah, we're not priests.

Um, the, the question is, have you ever stolen anything from a restaurant? Hmm. All right. Um, no, I am a dork like that. And that I don't think I've ever, I remember the first time I stole something was I was in elementary school and kids are telling me how you like steal stuff. And I, and I stole a Snickers bar from, um, Dairy Mart.

And I, it was, it was snowy. I remember I got up to my hill and I remember I laid in the snow and I looked up at the sky and was like, what have I done? And, uh, and so I've never really like, I've, I've never really like stolen things like that when it comes to things like that that I can remember. I mean, like, I'm sure that it maybe happened once or twice when I was younger, like a teenager or something. Maybe I took like a thing once or twice, but mostly I'm a scared coward,

as we know, and I play by the rules a lot of the time. So I, I've not really stolen anything. No, uh, we went to me and me and two friends when we were, we were no good teens, uh, we went to Sizzler and we got the, uh, paid for it, but paid for one buffet for the three of us to share. And so we had one plate and we're kind of covertly like alternating who was running to the buffet and who was filling it up, but then we each had one utensil to eat with.

So we didn't think to get more utensils. So remember my friend, David was eating with just the knife. It was like a completely, those savings were not worth it. Cause it was not fun. We were just tense the whole time. We were very nervous. That's when I, when I, when I would steal candy as it, cause I stole a couple more times after that, even though I was so upset, it just was so nerve

racking that I never wanted to steal anything. You know what I mean? Like a, and especially like, I don't know, like a cup or something. Like maybe sometimes I would take a cup. It was like, can you take this more? So that sort of thing. But also, I don't know. You could get people in trouble too.

I mean that, I don't care about the corporations as much as I fear some sort of trouble or just getting someone in trouble or myself in trouble. Right. Um, Lauren, Christy, you guys ever stolen anything from a restaurant? Have we? Oh, she's hiding. She started to slink down. I was like, what have I forgotten about?

Um, well, first of all, I mean, I'm going to say, as far as I know, only twice. I mean, Lauren and I have, uh, we, we bought the cup. We went to, uh, what's that place at Disney, um, that tropical place. What's that called? The blue bayou. The, uh, but we went to the rainforest one. Well, the rainforest cafe, which is no longer there now, but yes.

Yeah. Yeah. And we did, we did pay for that glass. We did. So it's not like I don't pay for things. Um, but like there was a time, um, and this, when I blame my husband for, we were in Cuba, I believe, and we were having these drinks and they were these beautiful little glasses with like a club Havana or something logo on it.

And he was like, just, just put it in your bag. And I was like, no, and I was terrified. I was like, I cannot cross the border with something in my, I'm like, I just can't do it. Next thing I know, I finished my drink. He's like gently wiping it on the inside with a napkin, slowly putting it in my purse. So to this day, we have, uh, two club Havana cups in our, uh, cupboard.

And then one time I wasn't accomplice to my oldest son stealing a plate from Boston pizza. Wow. I, in my defense. That's an act against the city of Boston. And I was in my defense. I was trying to get him some, some street cred with his friends. Oh, not the way to go about it, but it was like, we were, we were on a, that's

what I was going for. Uh, we were on like an out of town trip for his football team and they were all sitting there together having pizza and he was making the joke of like, oh, what if he put his plate in the box of the pizza that we're going to take? And then I just walked over and I was like, what are you doing? And he was like, Oh, huh, nothing. And he puts the plate to the side and I just went, open the box. So I became my husband in that moment of put it in your bag.

I just went open the box and he was like, what? I was like, just open the box. And I just like shoved a pizza over and then I was like, put the plate in. And he's like, really? And I was like, just shut up and do it. We never do this again. And he was like, okay. And he walked out and him and his friends were like high fiving in the

parking lot and they were just like, Oh, I can't believe you did this. He was like 13. He was on top of the world. And so I'm like, you know what? I had a, I had a really weird experience in a Boston pizza once. So I feel like Boston pizza and I are now even. I don't blame Boston pizza for what happened in the weird moment. I blame the man who serenaded me with Avril Lavigne skater boy.

That's my son, that man on a date. Who does that too much? Yeah, classic Canadian courting ritual. It really is. Avril Lavigne. Quickly, I'm not a stealer. Just one story, a friend of mine and I were in Hawaii at a luau and they had very Tiki glasses, much like the dear listener story.

And my friend was like, let's take these glasses. And I was like, I was sober. I was the DD that night. And I was like, I'm not doing this guys. Come on. No. Anyway, she ended up stealing two of these glasses, I believe, but we all got horrific food poisoning that night and into the next day.

So I was okay with it in the end. I was okay that she stole in the end. I feel that they owed it to us because of our own health. That was payment enough. This is, this is in Disney. No, that was in Hawaii. Oh, in Hawaii. So God, I confused the two sometimes lots of things.

Yeah. Yeah. Uh, I feel like that could be the, that could be some karma, some karma gods in Hawaii getting, getting you guys, you know what? I never thought about it that way, but you're dead, right? You're dead, right? You're right. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,

you can email us at doughboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voice in the late 30 go dough. That's 830-463-6844 and to get the doughboys double our weekly bonus episode. You can join the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash dough boys and Mitch, we now have a Twitch channel. Twitch.tv slash do boys podcast. I've done one stream at this point. We're doing some more streams in the future.

So look for that. Yeah. I'm just going to say that our, we're about to take a nose dive when people actually see us on camera because we have a real faces for podcasting. We've got, um, Lauren, Ash, Christy Oxburn, what a delight. This was so fun. True crime and cocktails is the podcast. Uh, tell us about the show and anything else you'd like to plug.

Yeah. Listen, we, we talk about our first season. We talked about all of the new unsolved mysteries cases that were covered in the Netflix new series of unsolved mysteries. And then season two, which we're in now is a famous fatalities edition. So we're talking about all kinds of famous unsolved cases. The Jean Benet Ramsey's, the Brittany Murphy's, those kinds of stories is what we, uh, we deep dive into.

Christy is an unbelievable researcher, which I think she's proven here today. She knew when Colonel Sanders died. Uh, so we have a lot of fun. We have a couple drinks. We, we record late at night in our pajamas, a little bit buzzed. And, uh, it's a true crime slumber party. So we invite, invite everybody to come and join us and, and have a laugh. You can find us on, on, uh, Instagram at true crime and cocktails, Facebook at

true crime and cocktails, Twitter at not detectives. And we also recently started a Patreon, which you can find true crime and cocktails as well for like, uh, you know, if you want even more of these two yahoo's, uh, you can find it there. Check those out. And also I just want to say that Y's also is a little buzzed and it's the daytime right now. It's a 1 p.m. his time.

We are a strong believer in time of day. No longer matters. Nope. Yes. Not alone. You're not alone. And that's to me. It's not the time it's, you know, it's, it's who you're with.

Now, Lauren, I have one, I have an important question before we go that I think it was on everyone's mind this entire time. Was that lobster bisque at Disney that was delivered late at night? Was it really good? It was delicious. I didn't find fall out with it. It came from Steakhouse 55, which is a restaurant at the Disneyland Hotel, which is really, really good.

Like it's, it's up there. And, uh, it was, it was out of this world. Delicious. I had to get that off my chest. I needed to know before we ended the episode. Of course it's been burning a hole in you for 80 minutes. Full circle, man. We were reviewing KFC and I was like, my lobster bisque.

I mean, my chicken was great. I love soup. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Christy. And that'll do for this episode of Doe Boys until next time. For Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya.

On the next Doe Boys Double, the tournament of Chompions begins. We kick off Munch Madness 2021 with a bracket announcement ceremony, plus two Eden matches featuring the commissioner himself, Evan Susser. Don't miss a minute of the snaction. Get all of Munch Madness at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description. That was a hate gun podcast.