Doughboys - KFC 4 with Cullen Crawford

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Cullen Crawford (@hellcullen, Strip Law) joins the 'boys to talk new movies, New Orleans, and Chicago eats before a review of KFC. Plus, another edition of Slop Quiz.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.bloodhorse.com/horse-racing/triple-crown/triple-crown-winnershttps://pennhorseracing.com/stories/the-history-of-the-kentucky-derby/https://www.kentuckyderby.com/about/https://www.feedough.com/the-history-of-kfc/https://global.kfc.com/our-historySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg, plus hash browns and a small coffee for just $5. For limited time only, prices and participation may vary.

Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. Sir Barton, Gallant Fox, Omaha, War Admiral, Whirl away, Count Fleet, Assault, Secretariat, Seattle Slew, Daddy's Raincoat, Affirmed, American Pharaoh. Justify. This is the full list of winners of one of the rarest feats in sport. Thurrow-bred racing's Triple Crown, including a made-up one you can figure out on your own. And the first of this epic, horse-whipping trilogy, is a one-and-one-quarter-mile contest run annually at Churchill Downs, the Kentucky Derby. The marquee race is not just about the event.

dubbed the most exciting two minutes in sports it's over in the time it takes to watch a few insta reels. It's also about the pageantry and spectacle, i.e. an excuse for rich fucks to get drunk on mint juleps and dress like complete assholes. And like bourbon and bluegrass, the derby is one of Kentucky's signature exports. In fact, having been founded in 1875, it even predates the birth of Kentucky's most famous son, a stolen valor colonel named Harlan Sanders. Born in 1890, after a tumultuous early life swinging from hustle to hustle like a proto-Frank Abagnale Jr., in 1930, Sanders began selling fried chicken out of a gas station he'd taken over managing.

The battered poultry sold like hotcakes, and over the next two decades, Sanders perfected his so-called secret recipe. And in 1952, now in his 60s, Sanders opened the first franchise of the brand for which he'd become the mascot both in life and later, after death. an acronymic bredded bird by the bucket broker that would later join Taco Bell and Pizza Hut to form the Yum Brands TriForce. Today with over 30,000 locations worldwide and billions in revenue, it's perhaps ascended past the Kentucky Derby as its namesake Commonwealth's most storied institution. And it certainly far surpassed the often lethal derby in a more gruesome metric, farm animal body count. This week on Doe Boys, we return once again to KFC.

Welcome to No Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Marty CrunchRap Supreme, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Oh. Supreme. What weren't you getting? I thought, I was thinking Marty McFly immediately. No, it's the movie Marty Supreme.

I know, I know, I know, Marty CrunchRaps. I bet it's a delivery. Let me give it a different delivery. Along with my co-host, Marty Crunch Rap Supreme. That I would have, because, yes. I'm reading these cold, so I don't know how to do it. Did you emphasize crunch? Was that what happened?

Did you say Marty Crunch. Crunch Rap Supreme. Is that what happened? Yeah. I maybe just didn't get it. No, the first time I said it straight through, like Marty Crunch Rap Supreme, I said it pretty flat. I was thinking of Marty McFly.

Yeah, I get that. Yeah. Well, let's go back to the future and do another take and we'll use that one. Along with my co. Marty Crunch Wrap Supreme, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I was just discussing how Zemeckis was a freak. Like, I mean, that's one of... He's like a horny wife guy, right?

Well, I mean, like, a horny mom guy, I feel like, but also... He's horny for his own mom? Well, I mean, in the movie, we talked about this on... Oh, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've talked about this on... On Doe Boys before, but he, the scene... It was a scene with Marty and his hot, when his mom is back in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's gonna fuck his hot mom. That's a, that's some freak. Like, you have to be a little bit of a freak to... Who is this coming from? Is this a personal thing? I mean, is it Elaine McFly? Man, she's really pretty. She's pretty in that.

She's very pretty in that moment. I don't have, I was just with my mom for four weeks. I'm back. Yeah, you're back in. I have no mom thing. Even though everyone likes to say I have a weird edipus shit. There's no mom shit that goes on. I was helping my mom.

We were having a good time. Did you sleep in the same bed at any night? Did she get stuck in the washer machine? Yes, I think that scene is very horny in back of the future, but there's nothing good on there. But I was thinking, I was just talking about Marty McPly. I've seen Marty Supreme. I went to the Coolidge Theater. I saw it in Boston.

Yeah, with Dan. Oh, with Dano. We did double feature. We did that in Secret Agent that night. That's fun. Nellie and I did a double feature. We did, is this thing on right into no other choice? And real, real pendulum swing there.

Some. Yeah. Well, which one is which? I won't. I haven't seen as this thing on. But I could see you being a comedy guy, not enjoying it, is my guess. It's, I mean, like, I like Bradley Cooper as a director a lot.

I don't know why he's made this movie. Hey, we both liked, what's it called? Meestro. Meestro. Big Mestro champion. Yeah, yeah. Maestro, tar. Give me all the conductor movies you got.

Amadeus? That's all I want to see. Yes. Welcome to season 11. Welcome to Season 11 of Do Boys. This is our first 2026 record. How about that? New sweater wags from the holiday. That is a great looking sweater, Mitch.

Thank you. It's like a more formal hoodie. It is a more formal hoodie. You got that little like ribbing there? A hoodie you can wear to a funeral. That's kind of what I think about it. I think you'll wear it to your funeral. Put me in.

I'd be happy with that. Any good bites over the, we should ask her guess this too. Am I supposed to talk or not? This is a, you know, okay. Was the double feature, is this thing on and then is this thing in? Is the joke that I was sitting on for that? Which I guess Mitch, you've seen that one, probably.

I've seen that, yes. Front row seats, too. Is this thing in? Okay, now I can just be normal. We make people, I mean, it's our fault that we, for season 11, we should tell people that you can talk. Yeah. Okay.

But you can talk. You've been, uh, well, now I don't know what to say. Can you put a little, can you put, like, a little. little chiron that says permission granted on the bottom. You make more of a stamp, like a p. Yeah, that's good. I think there's some sort of like chastity case for the mouth that you should put on the, and you can take it off when they're,

that's, I like that. That's pretty good. Hello, dough boys. Oh, go ahead. Hello, dough boys, Emily. Hopefully no one has submitted this roast yet, but me and my wife are going to host an Oscars party this year.

And while thinking of movie themed food we could serve, I thought of this dish, which could double as a Mitch roast since it combines its two favorite things, cinema and T-bell. Can't believe it's been a decade of the show. Those aren't you my favorite. They sure are. Those are a few of my favorite things. Marty Supremah.

Marty McFlre. I have seen you guys live three times across San Francisco in New York City. Thanks for all the laughs. Bin from NYC, a doscord lurker. This roast was also submitted by Cooper S. Patrick Babbitt, past and future guys.

Barry Land. Lucas N and Andrea R and Nick are with Marty Chalupa Supreme. Nice little little off there. Marty Supreme isn't it, it's not an, I loved Marty Supreme. I loved Marty Supreme. I wonder how did our guests like it. Our guest has not seen Marty Supreme.

Oh, wow. We won't get into spoiler country, but I love it. It's on the WGA app. I know you've been busy. Yeah. I don't, I don't even know there's WGA app. Oh, man, you're getting at the WGA app. The WGA app.

But I saw in the theater. It's a great theater. It's a good theater movie. I should see it in Marty Supreme. I saw the blimp. I saw the blimp. That was cool. Yeah.

Blimp's cool. Some old school marketing they were doing with the, with Marysprime. I haven't seen no other choice yet, why, because that's the other. I think you'll love it. I love Marty Supreme, Avatar, Fire, and Ash, of course. Yeah. Isn't there a guy in, is this thing on named Big Balls or something? Bradley Cooper's character is named Balls.

Is this true? His character is named Balls. He's one of your. friends growing up right? Now I mean You gotta see balls I'm pretty interested

Wags. Bradley Cooper is the best part of the movie He's very he's a fun He's a funny goofball character We like Cooper And hey Sweet Tooth himself

Is the other star of the Will Arnette Will Arnette Yeah I'm gonna see it Yeah go check it out Let me know what you think We gotta edit out Me saying

I'm just realizing this Can we just bleep that earlier and then bleep it again here when you read you. I like all movies. I think all movies are good. So many people work so hard on them. Do you see Avatar Fire and Ash? I did see Avatar Fire Nash. What do you think? I think is the best one. I loved it. Wow.

I had a great time. Look, I was maybe on a lot of mushrooms. And I did turn to Gabris midway through and be like, it's going to cost me a lot of money to reenact these veraing scenes with my dominatrix. But yeah, I fucking love that movie. I thought it was awesome.

I've seen it three times now. So my... You said Varang straight. You had to... It's Varong. It's wrong. It's your pronunciation. I've seen it three times. It's Verong.

She pronounced it herself, and Quorich pronounces it. Yeah. Barang. Yeah, quite the looker. Have you seen it yet? No, you haven't. Which movie? Avatar Fire and Ash.

I haven't seen any of the avatars here, but I'm going to assume. We're mad at you about this. Fire and Ash is worth seeing for Verong alone. It's a fantastic villain. There's a Navi. It's horny. It's horny. It's the horniest one.

It's the horniest one. It's the horniest one. and I'm into it. What do you think's happening when she connects her hair to like dom dudes with the hair? Are they seeing just things they don't like? I think it's a, I think it's a little navvy nut, honestly. I think it is like a little, I think it's like a, I think they're nutting a little bit. You don't think so?

But like they're like in pain too. It's just like a hard nut. Sensory. Yeah. Sensory overload. You've never passed a hard nut before. Hard nut. A hard nut.

A hard nut. A hard nut where like your butt hurts. like a kidney stuff That's what I was gonna say yeah I'm just thinking there's something solid Tell you a doctor you passed a hard nut The Vang stuff In cinema there's

It's some of the horny cinema Sense back to the future mom and Marty scene I feel like it's up there Immediately an all time villainous As female villains go And I love the chorus is like So anti-Navi and then he's like Totally down to clown as soon as he meets Vang

Like he is like into it. He gets this hot, uh, goth G. He's wearing the makeup on the next scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

completely swings over. Yeah. And it's a, well, whatever, there's a lot of memes and stuff online that's, that's,

that's fitting to our time. I'm saying like, the movie is weirdly timely, of course, in, in, in many ways. What do you mean, like,

scouring a planet for resources, uh, for profit? Yeah, I guess that's, I guess that is, yeah, like recently tabinging and emisorating

indigenous people for money. and to take their land. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess there's some similarities. I mean, it's depressing, but I'm just saying.

I think that's always been timely. Yeah, it's always been. It has always been timely. Yeah. Hold on. Back to my question. Have you, did you have any good eats over the holiday break? Have you passed a hard nut?

Um, we got KFC. Are you talking about today? No. We separately got KFC and it was hitting. Independent KFC. Like, did you Christmas KFC? like they do in Japan?

No, I know that's a tradition. It's very popular over there, but no, we did not do that. We just did it a random day pretty recently, but had a nice time. Nice bucket, some mac and cheese, some mashed potatoes and gravy, biscuits. Any other specific bites besides something that you could say on the podcast, I guess? I'm trying to think. I mean, like, do you have an answer? Well, I went back.

I went to this Irish pub called McGonigals in Dorchester. That was very good. Are you AI? Is this Mitch AI? It's kind of, it has become that at this point. But begonigals, which is, I've mentioned, we've, I've, right near where Mark Wahlberg assaulted that man many years ago. There's a statue.

There's no statue. It's just a plaque. Come on. Small plaque. It says if you read this, if you can read this, Mark Wahlberg didn't blind you. P.S. We've later found out the guy was already blind. We already made for the thing.

Which makes it better. What's worse? To beat up a blind guy or to blind a man? I would rather beat up a blind guy personally. I guess so. You're not committing the act of mayhem. You're not permanently wounding somebody. Yeah, I would much rather beat up a blind man.

I'm sorry. That's just the truth. I'm going to stay out of this. That's technically the name of that crime, mayhem. Is it really? If you maim someone, like you like, Like if you, like, cut their arm off or something, you've committed mayhem. That's wild.

Isn't that cool? That's so much less fun than how mayhem sounds. I know, I know. Yeah. That's terrifying. Yeah, it really is. That's the classification of it. No, I don't want to see any mayhem out of you this in 2020.

I'm not going to mayhem anybody. I won't going to mayhem anyone. McGonicles, I went and had some chicken. Is it, are you saying bognonicles? McGonicles. McGonicles. I was going to ask the same thing. I was hearing B.

I was hearing bgonical. I was hearing begonicles, and it sounded like how Medea would say binoculars. Man, Medea goes camping would be, that's a fun one. Medea needs to go camping. Medea needs to go camping. Medea goes camping would be fucking good. Magonagals, I had a chicken Irish curry, or Irish chicken curry. Yeah, it was very, very good.

I went to, I just want Charlie Plascavetus, who's who I knew from Quincy. He opened up a Georgie's Greek taverno, which is a Greek food truck. Quags, great food. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. And then I went to this Italian, and if you're in Quincy, you should try it. It's great.

And congrats to Charlie. And then also I went to a great restaurant in Dorchester, Via Canucci, a good Italian. That's fun. I don't go to Italian. Italian used to be my favorite food. And I just don't, you know, I feel like I never go out for Italian dinner as much as I used to.

Yeah, you still get pizza a lot. But like the actual trip to like a place that's like, you know, gonna have some sort of bistro is less of a thing. Bisto is the wrong word. That's French. What the fuck am I'm trying to say? I get what you're saying. An Italian bistro.

You know what it was a fun bite we had over the break, Mitch? We had our doughboys year-end dinner at Connie and Ted's. That was very nice. Had a seafood feast. It had a lot of fun. Meals Marino always bets on seafood. It was really good. And I'm looking at our old photos.

Why? You actually had a lot of good bites to eat. Oh, yeah. This fish. I went with Max Mayer. Yeah, we went, we had a seafood feast of our own. That looked so good. Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

But Connie and Tess was great. When was that? Was that over the break? Yeah, over the break. He saw, he saw no other choice. I met him over there. I couldn't make it. I met him over there.

Have you seen no other choice yet? You have. I said that earlier. It's the first episode back. I said it and you made a clip about it. What did I say? You said the, which we have to bleep again. All right.

We're going to bleep that. We're going to bleep that. I got to see it. I got to see the movie. I got to see it. You'd love it. I was at home too long. It was just too long.

Yeah. We were all saying this. What were you doing here? If I came here, I'd just be by myself. I mean, I was in Maine for three weeks, so I get it. You're a mama's boy. That's insane. Just because I love my mom and I spend time with her doesn't make me a mama's boy.

That's pretty much exactly what it means. I'm sorry. I was just as much as a daddy. I was a little daddy's boy, too, which doesn't sound as good. No, you're a daddy dude. I was a daddy dude. Yeah. Yeah.

And so I guess I get it. I'm a parent person. There you go. You're not one of those outside world guys. You prefer to stay in at home. Did you just wokeify mama's boy? I'm a parent person. Parent person.

Jesus. A person of parental swinging. I, yeah, I remember it to child. You know, I played video, I haven't played much many video games this past year. What's you playing? I'm playing. I'm playing the new Metroid. Okay.

I'm playing the new Metroid. And I'm having fun with it. It's got, it kind of got mixed reviews, but I'm enjoying it. I played Metroid Prime remaster, but I was doing that kind of towards the end of my time here, and then I finished it in Quincy. And then I started playing Metro Prime 4 beyond. Yes. And I'm, I'm having fun with it. I mean, the Metroid Prime is an all-timer.

four, I just, I'm not, there's too many games. I'm not going to be bothered to play it. It was something that the people say is kind of a middling Metroid. You don't want to play the mainline Nintendo games, though? I always want to play the main, even though I think they are maybe slipping a little bit. I don't know. What's your Donkey Kong Bananza? Now we're just changing.

I like Donkey Kong Bananza. I like it too. I do, I do too. It overstays its welcome. It feels a little like they just re-skinned Odyssey to me. It does feel that way. And also, well, it's the same team, but yes. But the environmental destruction is really cool mechanically. That's great. Yeah, but also.

But it's like the one thing they have. I don't care about digging that much. I mean, I did enjoy it, but I think Mario Odyssey is a much better game, too. Yeah, it's a much more fully fleshed out experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a much more diverse play experience. I guess, I mean, this is like, this is like boomery about donkey car. I wanted just to hang out in the jungle.

I want to do jungle stuff, and I didn't get to really do that. The biomes are a little bit oddly sorted, I would say. Like, yeah, I could use a little bit more jungle. Yeah, he's surrounded by dirt all, and he's a monkey. Yeah. He's not, you know, he should be swinging from vines. Right. And eating bananas.

Cue music underneath the Mississippi. He shouldn't be, he shouldn't be digging down into the dirt. I mean, he's where he's working in a mining colony. So he's like, yes, that is, that's the justification for why there's so much digging. Do you think he's, uh, I think it's good conditions in that mining colony they're working at? Oh, yeah, I think so, yeah. human employ a bunch of apes to go dig in the ground. Do you think it's union?

Do you think it is union? Yeah, for sure, yeah. Or a DK could be a union buster. You never know. Is that what you're doing? That's what the gameplay is? I enjoyed it, but I was like, yeah. When I was done with it, I was kind of like, whatever.

But it's a fun game to play, and I 100%ed it. So if you do that, you know, you either have no life or you enjoyed it a little bit. And I think it's a combo of the two for me. Yeah, it was a little bit of both for me. Um, we should talk about, I want to, we gotta get a rest in here, but I do want to touch on something that I watched, uh, in its entirety over the break. And Amelia's gasping because she has watched it now three times. He did rivalry. Hey. Hey.

I got to watch it. I've not seen it. Okay. Emma, you got to see it. It's the best. Everyone should see it. Yeah. It's a lot of. I haven't watched you yet either. A crave original. Yeah. Crave original. It's about two, um, secretly gay hockey players who fall. in love and it is a beautiful story. But it's told over a long period of time.

That's like a decades worth of... I thought it was a reality show when I first heard about it's not. It's a narrative. No, it's like a step like away from softcore porn basically in the best way possible. I'm in. Let's go. We'll watch it as a group in the Airbnb

in Chicago. Hey, I'm down. I love it. Put it on. I watched Housemaid with my mom and about an hour into it there is a pretty there was a sex scene and we stopped the movie he was over at that.

Wait really? Yeah. We stopped it. Stop the movie and went right up upstairs. Jesus Christ. I can't hold it in anymore. Jesus.

In many ways the ultimate heated rivalry is with your own mom. It's not a Marty Elaine situation. Do you think you could track the prevalence of incest porn with our generation back to... Oh, 100%. I think there's...

I think that there's some... I think Back to the Future has some shit to do it. The most attractive woman on Earth is like begging her son to have sex with it. Yes, yeah. And that's why I'm saying he's a little bit of a freak. Yeah. It's funny how once they had an algorithmic way to track people's porno preferences, like incest shot way up. That's true.

Like back in the era of VHS and DVD. porno. They weren't like making a bunch of incest stuff. That wasn't being produced constantly. I think there was some visionary who was like way ahead of the game. He's like, one day you're going to come around to this. What was the rise? What happened? What was the rise? I think maybe it's just always been there. I think there's maybe just a lot more family fucking or family lust than people realize. And it's because it's such a taboo.

That's part of the appeal, but that's also partly why. You're saying it's like in the real world. I think in the real world. It's just always been there. It just kind of exists. Does like step sibling porn count. is incest porn? Yes. Is that in the same category? I feel like they'll often clarify.

Can I say that shouldn't count? Why does it be like the rise of like more families with divorce or more like mixed families? There's more like step-siblings and intrigue. Trump of mom. Yeah, yeah. Trumpabanka. Yeah.

Trump-a-vanka, of course. I'm so used to watching porn because I've been watching it since I was 11 years old or whatever that's like, oh, this is like more forbidden. It's like an easy just layer of like forbidden. That could be the, yeah, that could be, again, the taboo factor could be because porno is everywhere. It's omnipresent, and you can get it on a device that you have with you at all times with a few clicks. Then, yes, it leads to more and more deviant stuff as people, you know, the high stops hitting. You guys are sick with your porno.

I go on, I go on to Twitter. I say, hey, Grock, show me a beautiful woman. And then I go, and then I go to town on that. But I don't look at this disgusting stuff. that you guys all look. Everyone, it seems like everyone is a porn addict these days, Swags. People are really into porno.

It's too much of it. This is going to exactly how I thought it was going to go, by the way. We're into incest porn. We're talking about drugs. But you got a drop to play. Oh, holy shit. Hit him with a drop, Emma. I'm Sharklock Holmes.

It's a bit of a fish story. Intruding upon my IP. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm stealing Sherlock Crux. It sounds like fish. It sounds like fish. I was like a fish. I was like a fish.

That litter got into the washing. Get about your fish underwear. I was like a bitch. I was like a fish. We were wondering if it was a finding Nemo situation where a fish had gone up the pipe. I was trapped in the pathroof. I was like fish. I have figured out the fish story why.

I'm on the Epstein list. And everything smells like fish. You were so close to get in a lot. away with it. It's good. I like that it's good at the end. You should end off him with it's good. I like how it reminded me to do Sherlock Crum. So for next week's segment, maybe let's do Sherlock Crum.

We've got to bring back Sherlock Crumbs. We'll see if he's available. Oh. I don't like this. I don't like you getting it to, I don't like it. Are you going to be a method actor from here or not? I've been playing the role of Nick Weiger for some time. And yet it's just not quite there.

I'm not believable as a human being. Emma, I have not, I haven't gotten the email. Didn't come? What the heck? Here I got you. Let me find it for you. You looked up beautiful woman on Grock for him to keep him calm during the tape. Oh, I forwarded it to the wrong email, so that's my bad. Anyway, it says, this is my first attempt to drop spurred on by and edited with my beautiful, more educated wife.

I thought the audience could use a succinct summary of the fish laundry saga. Thanks for the show at Anthro promo on Blue Sky. Wow. Made the drop with his wife. That's beautiful. How about that? What a beautiful couple.

Like joining hands on the mouse and dragging files. Drops at birdfuck.com. Our guest today, very excited to have him on the podcast. Wow, we haven't introduced you. A writer and producer. His new series, Stripp Law, premieres February 20th on Netflix. Cullen Crawford is here.

Hi, Colin. Hi, guys. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. Cullen, you and Mitch and Emma, for that matter, have something in common. Uh-oh. Your first name and last names start with the same letter. Yeah, the old double.

Hell yeah. How has that affected your life? I think the only time I can remember it affected my life is a high school teacher. I was, like, kind of unpopular in high school. But one of the cool teachers was like, Cullen Crawford, that's a cool name. He sounded like a radio DJ. And it, like, lifted my status. a little bit in that class.

And then later it turned out that guy was sleeping with a bunch of female students. Oh, my God. Damn, the coolest guy in school. What subject was this? This was English class. What grade? 10th. Oh, my God.

Yeah, so. Did he go to prison? What happened? I don't know. Jesus. Who knows? I mean, our gym teacher was married to a former student and everyone was cool with that. That does happen.

Yeah. People, the kid graduates and then the, well, what was secret goes out in the open. It was Catholic school, so they probably sent them to a different school to teach other children. Jesus. It's also not, I feel like it's not helpful when a teacher says you're cool. You know what I mean? Like, that's never.

He was like a leather jacket teacher. You know what I mean? Yeah. It sounds like it. It sounds cool. He had a motorcycle. Yeah. I'd fuck them.

Yeah, for real. CC cool initials, MM cool initials, EMM cool initials, E, cool initials. That's true. You're going to double it up. I got a lot of Eminem, you know, Eminem. Yeah, Eminem. That was like, it's a big thing that happened. Everyone was calling me CCH Pounder all the time.

An Ithaca alum, CCH pounder. That's right. And an Avatar alum. And an Avatar alum. That's right. One about her and David Boreanis are two Ithaca. Those were the two Ithaca alums that they were like promoting when I went there. I have some famous.

Andy Daly, though, also in Ethica. Andy Daly. Andy Secunda. I have some, I'd also going to pass a guest, passing future guests. We had a, I'm stealing that from Blank Check now. Griffin, I'm sorry.

I'll stop saying fast and future guests. They just have it in my muscle memory now because I've been listening to your show. I like it, steal it. All right, Emma says it's steal it, so I might steal it. Go over a blank check. Let me get doughboys to myself. Just go join those guys.

All right. You three nerds? All right. Let me have this. You want to host this whole show by yourself? Then you're me and Jimmy come and replace me. No, no, Mom. You're going to have to do intros, man.

Yeah, or you can stay. Okay, you're from New Orleans originally. Yes, I am. How long did you live there? I lived there for like 10 years and then like went back every year after that. Wow, okay. So you spent a lot of time down into Bayou. Down into Bayou.

Do you have any like particular notable? Because it's like the, I feel like the most notable food city in America. Does any, you know, like foods for food specifically to one region, are there any like favorite restaurants, favorite bites, favorite dishes, things you can't get elsewhere that you can go on. getting down in knowledge. I will say I've yet to have a bignet outside of New Orleans that tastes as good as the bignets in New Orleans.

Wow. Do you like a, oh shit, I just forgot the name of the place. Cafe Dumont. Cafe Dumont. Do you like, or is that like the bad?

That's the one I like. It is, it's good, right? I would say go there at like midnight. Don't wait in that giant ass line in the morning. Like go drinking and then go to caveat Dumont and there's no one there. It's the best.

Does this right here give you flashbacks to your youth at all? I actually did like swim in a river with alligators and stuff. Wow. Like you could see them on the shore. Mitch is gesturing to one of the chotchkes we have here, which is the gator head on a stick. Yes, one of our many chotchkes.

He pointed a dildo and said, does this remind you of your childhood? What's your game, my man? We don't have a chotchky, a dildo chotchky. Why not? I guess that's what the show has become. We might as well lean into it. I don't want to, I don't mean to docks you,

but can I just talk about your car? Yes, you can talk about my car. Your license plate says swamping. Yes, my license plate says swamping. The car is nade swamping. There's a big possum on the hood. I was like a sort of, I don't know, like midlife crisis, I guess. Yeah, that makes sense.

I got a job that I really didn't want to do. And my gift to myself was to like, I'm going to buy a cool car out of this. So I bought a Mustang and I just made a bunch of decals up and made it a swamp trash-themed car. Wow. I love it. Yeah, you're from like, you work with like Harvard dudes. Yeah, sure. I'm like a piece of garbage compared to all these guys.

Yeah. I was like, I might as well own it. Yeah, lean into it. Exactly. Yeah. Well, I mean, we've always talked about the comedy dynamic is always, you know, the nerd and the fat party animal. We've talked about this before. And then there's obviously there's mixes of all this.

But they don't tell you it would. There's a lot of intelligent people who went to Harvard that also a lot of dumber comedy people work with all the time. Yeah, sure. Yeah. And they're very funny. But, you know, you're like, oh, this person is much more intelligent than I am when you're talking to them. Well, they just care about fancy things and stuff. Right.

Sure. Yeah. I don't know, man. I collect typewriters. Sure, dude. That's fun. I love Harvard. I actually did a bit for a year where I told everyone I went to Harvard and talked about it on Twitter and stuff a bunch.

And then I found out a couple of show owners didn't hire me because I was pretending I went to Harvard. And they were mad that I was making fun of Harvard. I did the same thing. I just put Harvard grad in my Twitter bio. I'd out there for like a couple years. People don't like it. No, they don't. My wife was like, you got to stop this Harvard thing.

It's like ruining us. I drove by Harvard when I was home. I just drove by the old boathouses there. How about that? It was very nice. It's beautiful right there on the Charles River. I don't know. I've never been.

Yeah, I mean, you've been to Boston, but you've never. Been to Boston number of times. We got to, doughboys should do Harvard. Do Boys live at Harvard. Oh, Jesus Christ. Will they let us anywhere near there? Probably not. I guess it is a, you know, a learning institution with children, basically, but, uh,

you're like, you walking up to a chalkboard and just writing the word hamburger on it? So bignets, is there any other favorite dishes? All the typical stuff is really fucking good. Yeah, sure. Gumbo, you know, et tufe, all that stuff. It maybe is the best, can we say the best food city in the country? I will say it. I think specifically for like, hey, this is a destination for food.

Because I think you can make an argument for New York City or L.A. just in terms of being more comprehensive. Sure. But, yeah, specifically it's got its own regional fair. Well, argue for Chicago sometimes, too, which. you love Chicago. Yeah, I think Chicago is one of the few places in America left that hasn't like

spread everywhere. You know what I mean? Yeah, right. You go to Raleigh, North Carolina, there's like the same restaurants as Manhattan or whatever. You know, that's obviously an overstatement. But like, I think like it's got its own music, it's got its own food, it's got its own personality. This is too serious for Toll Place. No, this is great. Yeah. What's your favorite bite in New Orleans? Man, so many of my favorite places are closed now.

But I will say there was a place called Upper Line. That is the best bite of food I've ever had in my life. Wow. This is a spicy fish thing. And I will never forget the night that I ate that meal. Wow. Did you watch that David Simon Nalind's show? I did, Tramee.

Yeah. Yeah, I loved it. You loved it? I did. It's like watching a novel. You know what I mean? Right. It's not the wire, but it's, I liked it.

I like jazz music. I like Wendellell Pierce. I got to watch Tramee. Is it like crime adjacent? Not really. No, okay. There's some, but like, you got to be, it's slow. It's slow as fuck.

Yeah. But it's good. I never really tried Tramay. We tried to watch this porno show. And that one, like I... Not a incest. Yeah. It got a little boring.

Tremeet. Least favorite bite in New Orleans I'm going to say right now. Gator bite. Yeah. Yeah, I don't get bit by a gay. It's hard to argue with that. It's if you get bit by a gay. Maybe Wadamocococin.

Hey, you know what? Do you know about the six? Because when I was down there, we shot some twist of metal down there. And do you know about that six flasers? that's abandoned. I do know about that. There's a bunch of gators and shit. Holy shit.

Yeah, it's like abandoned, yeah. It's like, right that spec. It's an abandoned six flag. Did you film the show there? They filmed some of the show there. And they're like, they're like, you got to watch out when you're there because there's like, there's like, there's just gators walking around there and shit. Well, the good news is they won't chomp you to death.

They will hug you and hold you underwater until you drown. Oh my God. So much worse than. Gators hold you underwater. Death roll is what they call it. The death roll. Fuck. Yeah.

I never knew. I thought, you know, I thought it was mostly chomping. That got you. Yeah. I mean, no, I would not want to be held underwater by a, what, 700 pound amphibian. It sounds awful. Is it a sort of thing of like, like when you're growing up, do they warn you of that, like a gator attack? I mean, you hear about it and stuff.

And usually it's like, you hear about like, oh, we found like a 15 footer in like Gretna or something. Like that's like the news. And then water moccasins truly are the thing you're more looking out. Oh, are those the snakes? A little super poisonous snakes. You get bit twice by it. The antidote doesn't work the second time. Oh, my God.

The antidote only works once. That's what they told me as a kid. You only get one shot with the antidote? That's fucked up, why? I'd hate to get bit by a venomous snake. That would suck. Yeah, I'd be so upset. I don't know if there's anyone who would like it.

But like of things that could happen to you as like that's towards the like top of the list in terms of like things I would hate. It is one of the things that as soon as I would be like, fuck. And as soon as it happened, I would be laughing. because it's such a funny thing to happen. If a venomous snake bit you, it is funny. It is like a fun, and I would like, I'd be like, trying to,

I'm talking to the Joker right now. I'd be, I'd be sucking, you have to like suck the, that is like a funny thing to happen. You get you, you should see no other choice. Yeah, you gotta see no other choice. What the fuck?

Spoiler alert, you fuckers. The one guy laughing and no other choice. We've said this before, and I've said it to you, like, if you got eaten by a great white shark, it would be like very funny. It would be funny. It would be funny.

It would be horrifying. It would be horrifying for you. I would never want it to happen to me. But if it did happen to me, like, it is a funny thing that I got eaten by a shark. You keep the podcast going and you would occasionally remark on how your former co-host was eaten by a shark. And that's pretty funny. You're right. And then people would like joke and then you'd be like, yeah, no, he was a good guy.

And they're like, oh, you're serious. And you'd have to explain that like you actually did get eaten by a great by shark. It wasn't heart disease. A shark got him. Hey, speaking of sharks. Quincy Jaws.com. Is that what? Quinoidjews.com.

Look. It does look like that. There is an issue that it does look like it does look like it says quincyjews.com. And that it does not say quinceyjews. I don't even see the C. I see an O there. I'm with Colin. It says quincyjaws.

It looks like quinoy Jews. It's not quinoy Jew. I don't know what a quinny Jew is. Me neither. I'm not going to respect you. that's stocky gave me this hat he was wearing this hat i saw him at the china which you've been to at quincy and uh he does uh he he does a he does a every january first he does the polar polar plunge he jumps into the atlantic ocean and it was cold this year i don't know how he did and he said

his plan this year is to be going to the atlantic ocean every month of the year that's what he wants to do wow and he's going to florida at the end of january and into february and it's like i got those two off but he's like march is going to suck it's going to be work than anything. But he's going to try to go into the Atlantic ever. But he goes in with these guys who made a, they remade Jaws and Quincy. They just did a shot for shot.

Hey, how about that? Yeah, yeah. So Quincy Jaws.com. Check it out. Get at the URL. What's that? You can just watch it at the URL. You can watch it at the URL.

Don't go to Quincy Jews. It's not a real way. It's not. Okay, good. But actually, buy it now. I was going to say we should buy it, but we should not.

Redrecks to BirdFock. Michael Doe Boys own this domain? Are they over the number? the queenoid Jews. It was like a sad, the one in Boston, the one synagogue is like trying to register its domain. If

Quinio Jews or Quincy Jews redirected to to birdfuck.com, it would be kind of worth it. It would be, but we don't need to do that. It's not going to do it. We're not going to do it. We don't need to do it. We bought, we bought enough websites. Check out. Fans, if you're listening.

Bye. Check. Put the picture of these two guys on quinoy g.com. Check out quinzy jaws.com. And thank you for the hat, Stalky. I tried to give him my hat. Sorry, Stocky. I didn't mean to insult your beautiful hat.

Godspeed, Stocky. A great man. This is why Sean. humiliating, by the way. What is? I don't know. I couldn't tell you three of my childhood friends' names, but I know like half of yours. This is fucked up.

I know how your great grandfather killed himself. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. This is fucked up. But you know what? If you met Stockie, you would get it. He's great. He's great.

I mean, they sound really cool. Yeah, Saki and Shauna, he's a great guy. And if you met my great, great-grandfather, he'd be like, I did it. Yeah, this guy should jump in front of a train. You also, in addition to Noble Food Cities that we've touched on, Chicago, that's a place you live for a bit. Yeah, Chicago is wonderful. I think Chicago is the best city in America as just like a big city. It's like got the best of New York and the best of, I don't know, every other city.

I've had a great time when we've been there. Yeah, it's a good time. Which we will be next week as if this is recording. And man, they could still possibly be. in the playoffs at that point. It could be a wild experience, Wags. You guys are going up against the Bears and the Super Bowl.

Oh, man. It's 40 years since that Super Bowl, 1986. Let's do it again. The 1986, the Super Bowl shuffle. That's right. Yeah, yeah. You have a fairly fresh piece of ink.

It's still got the healing patch over it. That references your Bears fan. So my dad's from Chicago. So that was my team growing up. Yeah. And yeah, a huge Bears fan. It's weird to be good. at football all of a sudden.

Like, we've been so bad for so long. But yeah. They got a team of destiny thing going on right now. They do have a team of destiny. They got that a little bit. That last game was wild, the comeback. Did you watch the bolt swags? My bolts got zapped.

Did you watch it? By the Pats, no. I would have been so, I would have been. Oh, that must have hurt. Yeah, I was really, just seeing the box score up there. I was really bummed. I would have been so mad if your new team,

the bolts beat the Pats. But even, I would have been even more mad when I found out that you didn't watch and we're still celebrating. I'm very happy that. Honestly, I can't think of a better, the most appropriate Chargers fan thing is to not watch the Chargers. We went to a Bolts game together this year. A lot of fun.

We had a, we had a good time. We had a great time. Okay, we, you know, we talked to New Orleans eats, Chicago eats. Do you have any favorites there? Oh, boy. Pequads. I think that's, if you're going to do Deep Dish, which I get the whole take of like whether it's pizza or good or not.

I think it's good, but it's like I don't really care. about like whether it's better than other pizzas. But Pequods, the beef sandwich, like, deep dish is so good, man. We actually, we, I took you to Pequods, Wags. Wait a nice time at Pequods. We did. It was, it's, that's, it is, I think that's the best deep dish there is. And I don't know if the publican

is still a restaurant. You guys ever heard of that? It's like big table meat restaurant. Okay. Meat and beer. It's really cool. I've seen that on my voter registration, but, the publican. Oh, oh, that's what is it? It's the publican. The publican.

Okay, sorry. That's you just wander into the polling place. I've voted the public. I actually don't want you to, because this is going to come out before we're in Chicago this episode, right? This is going to come out while we're in Chicago. All right, then you can kind of spoil some good spots that we should check out because we'll be almost done with a trip at this point.

Yeah, I mean, I haven't lived there in a while, but O'Shea Vall. I mean, you guys been there yet? That's the burger place, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the famous burger. I would do it. I would check out. We could make it one of the live shows if we wanted to.

We'll see. We're still getting that sorted. Do you have any favorite Portillo's order? Do you have any go-toes? Are you a Portillo's guy? I like Portillo's, but I'm not like crazy about it. Right. But yeah, I'll do a beef sandwich of Portillas.

I just did that before Halloween Horror Nights over in, no, not Halloween Horror Nights. What's the other one? Not Scary Farm. Yes. Because there's a Portillo's out there. That's my last time having a Portillo's experience. Yes, they have one down. And is it Anheim basically where it is?

Yeah, basically. Yeah. I've never been to Knott's scary farm. I've never been to Knott's Berry Farm. We used to go there all the time as kids because it was the cheap one growing up in Sogown. It was like that that was like and you could. And so there were a lot of no good teens who were just hanging out at the Knott's Berry Farm. But it was.

Are you saying you were one of these no good teens? Yeah, I definitely went with teenage friends, like without parents. This is last year? Yeah. No parents allowed, guy. All chaperone. We, no, I remember going on like the fucking, you know, whatever their shitty dinosaurs ride was. And they have some fun coasters, but it's like, it's...

The food is supposed to be good at Knott's Barrier Farm. They have great fried chicken there. They have good berries. I think the, I think the titular Knott's guy was like a Nazi, basically. They had really bad politics. But beyond that, it's a fun. It's a fun theme park. That's unfortunate, I guess.

Not a lot of woke, famous farmers. I think they were like kind of the trailblazer in terms of not scary farm being the first time, hey, we're going to re-skin a theme park seasonally and we're going to make this, and now it's this haunted thing that everyone does. But they're kind of the OG and they do have a really, you know, they do have a really good execution of it. Yeah. Well, now I'm not that sad that I've never visited, not Norse-Berry or not scary. You'd have fun.

It is really fun. It is fun. Is producer's desk? Either been to Knott's? I've been to Scary. What do you think of Nottskary Farm? Loved it. Yeah.

It's like charming because it's like kind of crappy, but everyone's trying really hard. I thought it was the best, um, like they put on a good show and you're just walking around. They have the fog machines and the characters like jumping out at you and scaring you. What are the Natsbury Farm's character? Are they, were they peanuts characters at one point or no? Just like scary guys. You're a lot of scary guys. Scary 20s guys.

Scary England guys. Oh, really? Zombies. Uh, butcher's, you know, you name it. Anything that's scary, it's there. I've never been. You name two things. Zombies, I guess one thing was scary and one was a butcher.

It just could be scary. There's like also like it just, you're around. There's just like fun cowboy shit there. There's a lot of Old West. Okay. Oh, I did go to the hanging show, the comedy show, and saw La Boo Boo Boo get hanged. That was very fun. Oh, they do like a funny, like a Bill and Ted show.

The Bill and Ted show was very notorious. This is maybe before your guy's time here, but they had a Bill and Ted show that, which was, uh, there's a Halloween horror night show. Mostly just like 90 minutes of gay bash. Yeah, basically. I was going to say, I was, I was trying to say the, not the most politically correct show. They're probably going to really love heated rivalry at the hanging next year. I got to watch his damn show.

I got up too early. I flew in last night, Wags. Yes. And while you're... You could not have gotten, postponed it more towards to last possible minute. I did to the last possible minute

and then I did a... I had an acting session this morning at 8 a.m. So I went to bed at like 4 a.m. 3 a.m. 4 a.m. And then I woke up and I did a... A coaching Zoom session. Yeah. And you're on East Coast time still.

Yeah, I'm on... So I, if I suck this episode, what the fuck do you want for me? You're doing great. You're doing great. What do you want for me? I'm trying for fuck's sake. We know you're trying. It's coming through.

None of us want to be here. It's the first episode back. We're crushing it. And everyone's a little tired when they're listening to it. We're going to catch steam as this year goes along. The country's in turmoil. This is going great. What's this fun talking with Colin?

Let me just say this. Last season of the show, not our best season of doughboys. I thought, I did think we had some nice elements of season 10, year 10. But I think overall, yeah, we were kind of phoned in it. We're kind of run on. No decade of dreams. for you. It wasn't an easy year

in a lot of respects. It wasn't an easy year. So like, what would you do different if you'd go back and change your 10 year anniversary? I think all that was perfect. Murder suicide?

Yeah. I think there wasn't, the 10 year anniversary show was fun. I think the 10 year anniversary, I thought the whole run of live shows was really, I was really happy with how all those went. And I think we had a really fun

10 year much madness. I think we did those, I think those elements worked really well. And then I think once we were on the other side of the 10th anniversary thing, we were so exhausted and depressed that that really bled through to the show on the back end. But that's like the good shit. That's what the show is all about is you guys being exhausted and depressed. Right? That's what we're doing. I mean, I think yes to an extent. I think we were too, so, so exhausted and depressed that I think, I think it bummed people out. A little bit too much

dark Weiger, I think. Yeah, yeah. It's just a tad too much dark wiger. But we like a little dark wiger. Just a little bit. just a little bit. Honestly, the anniversary show, when we did let me be frank, I'm mad that more people haven't watched it. I want more people to have, we got a choir for fuck's sake. It's on YouTube. You can watch it?

Enough people watched it. You know what, this year I'm sick of, it's been 10 years. Stop obsessing over views. Check it out at quinoyjews.com. If we got quinoidjews.com and that was the only thing on it was just that video, that would be kind of funny. Maybe we can buy Quinnoy Juice and put that video on there and take it off of YouTube. Is that possible?

Yeah, we can take it down. Whatever we want. Then I like that. We're pushing, we're pushing a view. I just, look, this year, I'm just not going to take any shit from the listeners this year. You don't have to see it. You don't have to look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just saying, I'll, I'll, I, this. You're still choosing to, to wait into that pool. I think this is the year I'm going to fight one of our listeners. Ooh, I 100% would watch this. please set up a live boxing match and you would. I mean, I think that there could be money made by us going town to town and fighting some of our listeners.

I don't want to fight our listeners. I don't want to fight our listeners. Why not? Some of them, some of them I don't want to fight, but some of them you don't want to fight? No. A few of them? What's that going to prove? What's that going to settle? I want to fight the annoying ones and the weaker ones. I don't think we should be fighting our fans. I think we should be,

they, you know, they want to talk about the show. Let that be its own thing and just put it out of your own mind. It's not a thing you need to get into. If we do a live show and at the end of the fight show, there's a, like, we put on gloves and we fight like a couple of fans. I think that is fun. Did you purposely just say at the end of the fight show? Or did you mean to say live show?

I don't say live show. Oh, it's in there now. It's the fight show. We can try it on Chicago. If you want to fight a fan in Chicago. No, I know. We're not starting in Chicago. Why not?

Too drunk? Yeah. One in every city. Yeah, you'll be punched in the head, they won't react. We got to go to, like, a... That's a good place of all right. You want to go to a real pussy city. Yes.

Let's name them. Hmm. You got to go to a real liberal. I'll fight a fan in San Jose. You know what? You can never tell with a San Jose fan. Yeah, I think it could be someone, because there's rich tech guys there. There can be someone who's got...

Oh, no, that's, no. That's, like, name of, like, the equations flying around. That's what's happening to Mitch, but it's just racist flying around. Yeah. But there can be, like... There can be like a situation. It's a rich tech guy, personal trainer. I'm only fighting white guys, too, by the way.

To be clear. I'm only fighting white guys. Okay, so white tech guy, personal trainer, a boxing coach. I get what you're saying. He's like, well, like how Zuckerberg got really into MMA. I think those guys can kind of like some of them, you might not expect them. But I think I could still beat up Zuckerberg. Don't you?

I think just you'd have a size advantage, which is ultimately such a huge determining factor. That's why so many fighting games fall. apart. They don't have weight classes. Like if you're actually like thinking through the logic of it, the unfortunate reality is that you're not an equal footing if you're different sides. I'm so excited for what's happening here. I cannot wait for it. I think I can take out some of my rage on just the world in general on like a Zuckerberg. I would probably fatality as ass. I'm just surprised you've pivoted away. Let's get into real actionable threats. You pivoted away from wanting to fight me, which was a thing for a while. I would fight you. I thought you right now.

I think us fighting is the way to do it. I don't think you should fight a random fan. If there's going to be a dope boy's fight. You'll sign a waiver and fight me. If at every live show, we did the live show and then you and I boxed afterwards at every single live show, it would be pretty good. Yeah. And also it would be good exercise for us too. That's true.

Now, we're just going to get a food pun into this somehow. Hmm. Food fight? Yeah. Food fight's pretty good. I mean, it was the first easiest one. To go boxing or something. That's pretty, see.

That's good. You're a. writer. I know, I'm sorry. You're a Harvard type to me. King of the onion ring. That's really sweet. The boxing ring.

I like King of the Onion. Onion rings good. Battle Royale with cheese. Pretty good. All right. So what's happening? All right. It's happening.

Punch. Chicago will come on out. See these two fight. Punch like you throw and like you drink. That's the title? Yeah. Punch like you throw and like you drink. Punch like you throw and like you drink.

All right. You know what? That's it. That would be the one. Eat and then parentheses pun on creed. That's good. A lot of options. Do you watch the globes?

How about the beatoff? That's definitely what it is. The beat off is the answer. The beat off is the answer. And who knows? Maybe it devolves into that at some point. Another genre of porn. I was watching this wrestling porno once.

And it was like, I was like, Like it was like, it was, you know, whatever. I get it. Like these women are wrestling, whatever. It's like, oh, you rip my shirt or whatever. I was like, okay, I can kind of follow where this is going. I can follow it. And then at a certain point it just turns and like, like, wait, they're just like having sex.

Like, that's not what this is. Like, that's not how this. It was in the middle of the ring? Yeah, they just like, they just like hard cut to like them having sex. I was like, what was the story here? Yeah. What happened. Yeah, that's the whole thing.

Yeah. And it's like a practice session. It's not like there's a crowd there or anything. That's what I was confused. Yeah, yeah. But the whole thing with the Oriental Enterprise was confusing. Would it, would the crowd, there was a crowd there would, you think they would like that or would they be booing? Throwing chairs.

Yeah, yeah. Would they want to see wrestling? I can't tell what the... I mean, if that happened in an actual wrestling match where two wrestlers started fucking, I think the audience would be more frozen. I think they just would not know what was happening. That's a good point. That's a good point. That's a great point.

That's a great point. Because Stone Cold and Kurt Engel just started boning in the middle. of the ring. Like, what? I'd stay tuned in, I guess. It's real to me, Dan. I love that guy. I hope he's all right. The real to me guy. There's no way he's alive. Yeah, he might be. Rest in peace, real to me, Dan, that guy. I did see, find, I did see his social media at a certain point, and he had, like, he was, like, the real to me guy.

Oh, really? He was like, he really leans into it. Because he had a wrestling fan. He knows, like, oh, this is my gimmick. I got to make, make this my thing. I'm afraid to look at what that account has become. Yeah, there's a chance that could go real south. Chance he's an ice officer. Anyways, moving on. So in addition to you live in New Orleans, you lived in Chicago, you spent some time in North Carolina.

You're also a nature boy, I would say. You like going outside? I do like going outside, although I think I said this to you earlier. I've been living like a veal calf for the last two years. Yeah, right. I'm just working and not playing video games, eating, watching TV. Like that's been the last couple years. But yeah, I'm a nature dude.

Love camping. Love hiking. What's the appeal of that to you? You know, in my mind, bugs, you know? I will say, like, it started to flag a little bit. It started with a camping trip where I was like, I don't know shit. And I'm an adult man who doesn't know how to do goddamn anything. So I started taking survival classes and learning, like, I learned how to make like...

Survival classes. Yeah, I've talked to Gavis about this a million times. He's begging me to go do this with him. Yeah. We'll do it one day. But I learned how to make, like, the cartoon trap where you step in the rope and it, like, pulls you off. Whoa, that's awesome. You learn cool shit.

like that. And then never, you know, obviously used any of that. But the appeal started to flag. I'd say I got a little tired of hiking and shit. And then getting into mushrooms in my late 30s has really helped with the outdoors these stuff. Sure, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's a good place to go and do that mountain.

I went camping with, with Gabor Swans. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And Ross Kimball, we went camping. Oh, Ross. So it's a Ross. And we, uh, we, we were hiking up the mountains. And it was like, Ross was like, you guys will be fine.

And Gaber's, to Gabriel's a very athletic guy. To his credit, he was pretty good. And we got like, we were still so far away from our like end goal. And I was like, I can't do. I'm like, I'm going to die. And we had, it was kind of embarrassing. We had to turn around and, and go back. But Gabers was like.

Especially your altitude. It's like, you know. Yeah, it was not easy. And then we went, I went in a river. And then I got E. coli. Yeah, that's right. And I, like, couldn't take a step without shitting my pants, basically. It was a bad, uh, it was a bad week.

Rough stuff. So that was, so that was the last, that was, that was my last outdoor experience. Don't do that. Um, I also say, like, sleeping outside has lost a lot of charm for me. Sure, yeah. Like, the heat is, is part of the, right? Is, I mean, in the summertime, it's cold, yeah. Ground, like, all of it.

It's like, I'd rather wake up in bed. Do you, do you, like, you use a tent or you, like, sleeping under the stars? I usually have a tent. Okay, yeah. Do you do any glamping? Do you put like a pad under the, you know, like a... That's not glamping. But yeah, I'll do like a sleeping pad or something.

I bought a hammock that I still haven't slept in, but I've always thought that would be really nice. Oh, yeah. I've been to hammock outside. Anytime I've been to hammock, I've been like, I'm not that comfortable. Yeah. You think it's going to be more like better than it is. Because you see like Homer in there, like resting a lemonade on his belly and you're like, oh, the hammock life looks like, you know... I've been in some comfortable hands.

Maybe we were in a bad hammock. I've been a few hammocks. I've never really gotten comfy in them. Same thing. Wouldn't you rather just be on a bed? It just beats the ground, I'd say. It beats the ground for sure. Yeah, okay, I agree.

I mean, yes, I'd rather be in a bed, but it's a nice little outdoor to hang in a hammock isn't that, isn't, I can think of worse things. I can think of worse things, too. I'm just saying like it hasn't been like this luxurious experience. Where was this hammock? What was the issue? This is multiple hammocks over the course of my time in Boy Scouts.

We had a lot of hammock. I lied in a few hammocks. You got your hammock badge in Boy Scout. I was just saying, I don't know when you stopped being a Boy Scout. My guess is 21 or something, but you, you, after that point, it's been a long time. It's been a long time. Yes. Yes.

It's been decades since I've been in a hammock. So maybe I'd like it more now, but I was, I'm kind of, was soured on hammocks from those experience. As I've kind of soured on, was soured in hiking and backpacking, but I've been like, you know what? I bet if I got into that now, I'd enjoy it. Yeah, I think you would. You know, uh, say, like, I got really into running, like, 10 years ago, which obviously does not happen now. But, like, that, the fucking endorphin release is, like, there. And, like, once you get there, like, hiking gives it to you, too, you know.

I love walking. I love walking, too. You would love hiking. Yeah. It's just walking in more beautiful places. Where do you do? Like, you talk about your mushroom enthusiasm. So, like, you just get, you take mushrooms and you go outside?

Yeah. That's about it. It's really great. I cried the last time I did. It was awesome. Wow. I mean, I've never seen a tear come out of your eyes before. Oh, this would be huge for you.

Maybe that's the way you get you to tear up. Doe Boy's camping. Mitch will fight someone. You'll do mushrooms at the next show. I would like to try mushrooms at some point. I'd be curious what that experience is. You would like to try mushrooms once. Yeah, I'd like to try it.

Why not? I'll do a line of Coke. Why not? Honestly, that's a good mix. I don't know how I feel about you doing mushrooms because I don't know if I, I just don't know what it will unleash, I guess. Yeah, I really wonder. I don't either. Yeah.

I think mushrooms is fine for you. You think so? I think so. I would stay away from acid maybe. Any of the murder drugs I'd maybe stay away from for you. Bath salts. He shouldn't do bath salts. No bath salts.

Heroin might suit you pretty nicely. Sure. You do mushrooms is like the way I feel about the large hydron colliderette CERN, which is. Is that like, it seems like it might be interesting, but also like it might open up some black hole that ends the, you know, that ends the world. Are you a schumer? I've shroomed. I mean, I hope my mom's not listening to this episode, but I, I, I shroomed here and there over the course of my life. Yeah, I did.

I did it. What is that? Like, what is the, it's a hallucinogen. It's a hallucinogen, but it's also just like. But you don't always, it's not like every time you do shrooms, you're like, the walls are waiting. at you. Sometimes it's just like a nice glowy high. I think it feels really colorful. Everybody's really

pretty. All the lights are very pretty and you're just like, wow, the world is beautiful. That sounds fun. We were sponsored by like what was the, what was the... Schedule 35. Schedule 35 at one point. Yeah, this was for microdose. You probably on air said like, I love Schedule 35 and said that you took it.

But you can do a little microdoses and start that way. I do that on a regular basis. Is that a way, is that like the, a good on ramp? Yeah, it's like, they say microdosing can help your brain form new neural pathways. So you can, like, if you microdose and then, like, talk with a therapist or even just, like, walk around and think about stuff, your brain can start to, like, think about things in new ways and form different, like, ways of thinking.

It can be really therapeutic. That sounds good. You could think of a whole new ancestral porn category. Yeah, exactly. You could, um, on the whole new category. Or ancestral. Ancestral. Incest ancestors.

It's like a combination of the two. I like it. Yeah, I'd be interested. Because I'm a, like, if I, I'm a happy drunk. Like, when I get drunk, I'm just like, you know. Imagine that, but the next day you felt nice instead of bad. Yeah. You actually have, like, more energy and everything feels clearer the next day.

All right, I'm doing it. You're going to do shrooms. We'll do some shrooms. We'll fight. I ain't fucking, I'm not, I'm not doing fucking shrew. I'm staying far as fuck away from you. I want to see you on shrooms. I think it would be wonderful for you.

We're going to, it'll be a triple feature. We'll get shrews. room, we'll put on boxing gloves, and we'll do a heated drive work. Yes. And we'll tweet out our location of whoever wants to come beat these guys up afterwards. Beat them off.

Beat them up and off. I'm staying 100 miles away from you doing shrooms for the first time. It could be like the end of Eddington. Fucking out of there. I ain't getting close to it, Wags. As a movie man yourself, any favorites of 2025? Oh, God. I know it's a hard question on this.

spot. For me, I'll answer me, give you some time. Marty Supreme is towards the top of my list. No other choices up there. I actually did really love Eddington. And I like the Secret Agent a lot. Yeah, Secret Agent is good. I liked it. Yeah. I liked, what was the the one with the, it's, it was not an American. Oh, fuck. It was, oh, Jesus. I don't know what you're described. I know. All I said is not American so far. That doesn't make any sense. The one that, uh, the, not Scars Guard, but, uh, what's his name is in it? It's like Norwegian. right? Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Sentimental values. God damn it. I liked that one. I liked it, even though I couldn't remember the name of it. Who is, who is it? Is it Scarsguard? It is Scarsguard. I haven't seen it, but I think it is. Oh, I like, I like sentimentalal value. I've been meaning to see it. I love that director. Made Worst Persons in the World, which is an amazing film.

I'm just laughing because I remember, I think the only two movies I saw this year were Avatar and Rental Family. Wait, really? Which is insane. But I just have been busy. I haven't been seeing movies. I've been watching old movie. I just watch, rewatch the same shit over and over again. What are your go-toes?

Oh, you know, I've been doing the blank check thing where I've been watching whatever directors they've been talking about. Yeah, sure. So, like, that was really dope to watch all the Cohen Brothers stuff. Do you have a favorite cone? Oh, do I have a favorite Cohen? I go with Joel. I'm Eaton.

I like Eaton. I will say that it's not my favorite, but I think... As opposed to Ethan, the separate Eton Cohen, the comedy writer? Yeah, that's what I said. The Garfield guy. Yeah. The Garfield guy. Is that this story?

which is I heard that Bill Murray did that movie because he thought it was the co-in-fathers. I think that is true. I think that's true. I love that story. Um, I think Lady Killers is underrated. It's not my favorite, but I think everyone shits on it. And I think it's so fun to see Tom Hanks do like a sketch comedy character for two hours. That's, that's how I feel about Man who wasn't there. But I don't know if Man Who wasn't there, there's already been a reclamation project for. I feel like I've heard more positive, you know, lookbacks on that. You're trying to turn this shit into fucking blank check again. God damn it. But yeah, I'd say true. But yeah, I'd say true.

True grit, maybe is my favorite. True grit, okay. That's a good one. I'm a Fargo guy. It's just, it was like, hit me at the perfect age. Speaking of, speaking of snake bites, snake bites. True. True grit.

True grit. It's got a snake bite. Yeah. It's got a snake bite. It's got a snake bite in it. You'll have a snake bite sometimes at the bar. I love a snake bite. And then you laugh after it.

I mean, I usually, I usually do. Half Guinness, half cider. That's what I do. It says a lot of people don't call it a snake bite. What do they call it? There's like a lot of different names for... We used to call it a black and tan. And a black and tan is supposed to be the two different beers

from what I understand. But some people do still call it a black and tan, even if it's a cider. But I think it's all over the... It's all over the man. Is a black and tan always Guinness and another beer? Is Guinness the base always? I mean, it's supposed to be, yeah, a Guinness type.

A porter? Is that what there? Is it a get out? Ginnis stout. It's a stout. I'm a fucking idiot. You're fine. A porter is similar.

You were close. It's also a dark beer. You're doing fine. You're doing okay, man. I did the sloppy boy show when I was home. I did the lineup twice and I barfed backstage. Did you really? Yeah.

Remind everyone, remind our audience what the lineup is. A pint of Guinness, a shot of Yeager, which just shows like in the timeline when it was made, you know, like almost 20 years ago when I was doing this. A shot of Yeager, a Yeager bomb. So another shot of Yeager in Red Bull and then a bud, a bud light. Wow. And, uh, and this is a, a Mitch thing?

This is the thing you did? No, Joe, uh, my, my, uh, poof, one of the poves, uh, I don't know what that is. Introduced it in, uh, and, in, uh, introduced it me to it, uh, and, in, uh, he has a couple of calls. This is, oh, these are two is ones I don't know. One of my, one of my, yeah, yeah, yeah, the poofs. Yeah, they're two poofs. Yeah, they're two in the night train. Tim Kletzel. They taught me the lineup. So you hang with poove two in the night train. Yeah, and And we did it.

And then we did it on a live show in Boston, which was kind of embarrassing to do like a drinking. My mom was like, should I come to it? And I was like, no, you shouldn't like, I don't want you to be there to just see me drink. And I think that you would be mad. It's fucking humiliating get drunk on stage. Yes. I've done numerous times for, with Gabris. I did in 22 seconds, the lineup.

Wow. So I still got it. No, the second time I did longer than I went backstage and I barfed. And it was and then I was even more embarrassed. Yeah, man. That's like, what, eight drinks? nine drinks. Yeah,

eight, yeah, right around there and, you know, and like under, you know, and one of them

in under 30, yeah, it's not, it's not good or safe. We're like 45 now. We're like, you can't, you can't,

you can't, you know, it was, it was like a good time to hang it up kind of moment for me. And then I, 22 seconds and then you barf,

like losing your virginity. I didn't fucking barf when I lost my virginity. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I did not,

but then your mom cleaned it up. I didn't bar, fat folks. Pointing all the hits. But you successfully took down the line. It took down two lineups. And the second one's what made you toss your cookies. I said I'm done with the line. I did one at New Year's though with a...

Yeah, I knew you were going to do it again. I can't help myself, wives. That's a good New Year's thing, though. It's a fun New Year's thing. Yeah. I can't grow up. What do you want for me? I know this.

Yeah, I know. Our listeners know this. Yeah. What do you want? It's fun. Fine. Enjoy yourself. Yeah, I agree with you.

I have your Peter Pan syndrome. That's it down. I don't like you labeling at that. No, I think it's fine. We both like kid shit. No. Okay, all right. Hold on.

Hold on. We've unlocked something new here. Okay. You moved on to the shit of the children. Speaking of kid shit. Yes. I, restaurant,

like, to segue into this. Land the plane. I, I have a very, uh, just like a, a,

a memory in my head, a very clear memory in my head, of eating the triple zinger sandwich as a boy at Micas's house in his basement and it being like one of my favorite fast food sandwiches I ever had from KFC. We're talking three patties. No, the triple zinger was three strips of chicken. Three chicken.

Which I talked about before you, before you got here, that they, the triple zinger. It was not a, breast, which is the new concept. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, it used to be one of my favorite sandwiches. The may, there was, it was like a spicy aoli on the, on the, on the, on the triple zinger,

which now it's just a mayo. But we had, we went to KFC today. We went to KFC. We returned to KFC. Last review with John Early and Claudio Dardy in 2024 with the saucy nuggets. We did not like the saucy nuggets. But, but I like KFC. I think the saucy nuggets overall, as far as every fast food chain tried to do them. And, and I think it was a failure all around. It's an ill-conceived concept. Because you don't want soggy. It just makes the, it's just sogifies everything. You just sogging up the breading.

What are you doing? I agree. And part of the fun of the nugs is you have the optionality of what am I going to dip this in. I'm not locked into one sauce for this whole order necessarily. And our guest today is a kind of a sauce baby. I'm really picky about sauces. A sauce queen, if you will. Sauce queen.

borrow phrase from Amelia. That's a good one. Is that the opposite? Is that the opposite? Side queen. Side screen. Side screen. Never mind.

But that's okay. I like sauce queen too. I truly thought you said actually size queen. Sauce queen is better, honestly. Sauce queen, sides queen, they're both good. Saucy sides queen. But you like yourself some sauce. I'm like picky about sauce.

What are your favorite? I don't like a lot of sauce. Oh, you don't like a lot of sauce. Yeah. You're not a mayo fan. Not a mayo fan. Anything that's creamy, I'm like, I didn't ask for this. Anything like egg based?

Yeah. Or dairy based. Interesting. So what sauces do you like? I kind of just barbecue sauce. Barbecue sauce is great. But I don't like ketchup. I don't like mustard.

I don't like any of that stuff. Are you like me something of a heat secret? Do you like a hot sauce? I love hot sauce. I do love hot sauce. What's your go-to hot sauce? I mean, I don't know. Crystal probably just because I was what I had grown up.

Oh my God. Crystal's a top tier sauce. And a New Orleans favorite. Yeah. Yeah. What a great sauce. It really is good sauce. It really is good sauce.

It's very good. It's nice and it's so, it's perfectly thin. Yeah. Yeah. It really is. Good bottle? Great bottle. Great bottle. I agree, Wags.

Not a huge list of ingredients, which I always like. It's just like, you know, peppers, vinegar and salt. Great. Lovely. So yeah, I'm kind of a sauce queen or not a sauce queen, depending on how we're defining. Hey, buddy, a new year, colder days. This is the moment your winter wardrobe really has to deliver. If you're craving a winter reset, start with pieces truly made to last season after season.

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she's sleeping on a Quince blanket. How about that? She deserves it. Bark, I like Quince too. Okay. Wow, Jemmy. Refresh your winter wardrobe with Quince.

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When you go to wildgrain.com slash doughboys to start your subscription today. That's $30 off your first box and free croissants for life when you visit wildgrain.com slash doughboys or you can use promo code doughboys at checkout. So we're getting this. We're back at KFC. We are getting the new seasonal items, the new LTOs, which are the revoke. vamp Zinger sandwich. Yeah.

The cheese curds, which lend themselves to some dip in, and KFC's Maddie's Nuggy gravy bowl, which is a Maddie Matheson tie in. Yes. And. Amelia asked me if Maddie Matheson was a bar stool guy. I thought he was. I mean, it sounds like a bus tool. I mean, yeah, okay.

But he's a celebrity chef, right? Is what Mattie chef and he's on the bear. Yeah, he's on the bear. Yeah, yeah. And he makes, he has good restaurants. He did. Very well-regarded restaurants in Canada. And you know what?

He might have some damn good taste. Well, we'll get into it. We'll get into it. Where do you stand on KFC? Where do you stand on fried chicken in general? Where do you stand on gravy? Huge gravy guy. Love gravy.

So you don't put that into the sauce. I don't think of gravy as a sauce. It's almost like its own little meal kind of. Like a meal enhancer. I don't know. I agree. It's like part of the meat. Yeah.

KFC growing up, I feel like it was like a mom-is-tired kind of thing. Sure. But that said, I always like, we were Popeyes mostly. Wow. There you go. And like, I will say the Red Beans and Rice at Popeyes is like, it's not as good as like real Red Beans and Rice, but like it's pretty, it's like the methadone to its heroin.

Like, it's not bad. One of my favorite fast food size. Yeah, it's really good. And so KFC was like more rare, but I always liked it. Even though it always felt weird to me because because I was so like Popeye's pilled, like that's really crunchy and crispy. and biting into that kind of like wet seasoning carpet of what, you know what I mean? It was always a little strange, but it was like, cool, I liked it.

Was Popeye's founder Al Copeland when you were down in New Orleans? Was he ever a presence? Was he ever, because I know he was like leading parades every year? Yeah, yeah, he's like. I never met him. But yeah, he is like a name or whatever. Yeah, as a very forward-facing owner of one of these companies. Was the colonel still alive in our lifetimes?

Was the colonel? Boy, when did the colonel pass away? Can we look that up? I don't know. Did the colonel fight in a war? No, it's stolen valor. Oh, no. Absolutely was not a colonel.

Yeah. I heard the same thing about Jack Warner of Warner Brothers that he would like, because there's a, there's a memorial to all the World War II veterans who worked on Warner Productions. And his name is on there, but he never actually served. He put it, he was like, he put his own name on there because he helped make some like World War II propaganda and military films. So he felt like that made him like a troop. That's funny. It was funny. It's like that homemade ice,

uh, bullproof ass you're wearing under your Colonel Sanders perished on 19. You okay? Why is this crappy, why is this cracking you up?

I don't know. What the hell? Take it, take a second. You're talking about a man's death. I get it. You're like, everyone shut up.

Carl Sanders perished. You know, he's like a laughing spell for no reason? Yes, that just happened. He died on September. December.

December 16th, 1980. Emma, do you want to take over? Did you just take a laugh? You get it? No, no, I'm good. You know when you just, you get a laughing spell for no reason, or, like, you know you have to be quiet, or you know you have to be serious when you can't.

You just can't do it. You know what you think about an old man dying, you just can't hold it in. When you have to be really serious and it has the opposite effect, and then you start laughing. No, I get that. No, it's also good for our confidence that in an hour and 20, whatever, minutes, you have not laughed at all.

You've read about an old man dying. It is funny. He died. He was alive and then he was dead. Anyway. So before, actually, he got bit by a snake? Is that what happened? 1980.

Was it before Wigor's born? You may be, maybe you were the re- December 16th. All right, so you were born. Yeah, it would have been a little baby. You overlapped with the colonel. Yeah, how about that? He would probably cry.

He saw you when he killed himself. You were hoping for his soul being transferred into my heart. Yeah, that would have been good. Who else died before Whiteer was born? Rob Grancowski is, he's in the, is it, what is the, what's the, what's the, what's the, the insurance that's a, for, for veterans. Do you know what you're talking about? USAA. USAA.

And he, Rob Grancowski is always trying to pretend to be a veteran in those commercials. And I always find it very strange that he's like trying to be like, I certainly like it's like this is not a good angle for the commercial. He also sort of sounds like Kevin from the office in those commercials. He does. Look, I love. You can't get the insurance. I love, I love, I love the man.

But, you know, maybe not the brightest bulb. He's bright at football. He also never touched his football money. Do you see that? He's like Leno? He's the Leno of football. He's the Leno of football. Is it all like endorsement money or something?

I guess so, yeah. But he just said that he never touched. He lives off his ice house money where he goes and performs with the ice house. That's what Leno. That's what Leno, he claims that it's all the money he made from stand-up. Yeah. Money from stand-up. Remember when he was getting all, like, another old man in danger.

Getting beat up. When he was, like, getting all beat up and everyone thought he had gambling debts or whatever. Yes. And I like the idea that he still wouldn't touch his tonight show money. Yeah, he hasn't gotten bruised up in a little bit. So I feel like he's, uh, he's okay. He seems like he's okay. God bless him.

He got lit on fire at a certain point. He did. It was wild. He had like a true two-face origin story going on where like half of his face got blasted by fire. Why do you want to let you, bitch? Because that is funny. Jay Leno'll be like, and then he starts fighting the Batman.

Have you had Oleno interaction? I went and saw, when I first moved out here, I went and saw the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Like I went to, and then Tim Calpaccas has a, had a good one. where he was at Handy Mart and he was eating, I think he was eating a sandwich and Leno, I think he either walked by or drove by and was like, yeah, eating a loaf of bread, life the bitch, huh? And then he walked away.

And I'm like, that's a pretty damn good. That's a good interaction. Yeah. But other people have seen him like drive around the valley and be like, and have like a weird. He's got like an old time fire truck or something. Yeah, so Susmobile or whatever the fuck he's driving. And I think that, I wish I would love to have him.

I need the Leno interaction. Yeah. I'm sure you could have, if you drove around in the valley, I'm sure you could, he's a valley guy. He's up there in Burbank somewhere. Yeah, but if you just go to a random car show there, there's a chance you'd see him. I did see him. I was going into a parking garage and he was coming out of one. He was driving a cool car.

Wow. That's it. That's awesome. Did you like have an interaction or no? No. I've said this before, beautiful blue eyes on Leno. That was the thing I noticed. He had very, he had piercing blue eyes.

No, yeah. He's telegenic. Yeah, yeah. There's a Eva Anderson story of Jay Leno was she saw him at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company at Universal City Walk eating by himself. That's pretty damn good. Pretty good. It's his home. It's the NBC universe.

Yeah, why not? So where does fried chicken rank in your like, because it's my favorite food? Where does rank for you? I'll put it like top 20. Top 20. I like fried chicken. Is there a Nalens fried chicken purveyor that you're like, this is the taste of home? There absolutely is, and I cannot remember the name of it right now, but you've got to go to it.

Is it Dukey Chases? It's not Duky Chases. I love it. Is it Willie Maze? It is, yes. We did. So they had a Willie Maze that was out here in L.A. It's now closed.

Yeah. I didn't even know it was out here. It was out here. Well, I mean, that was part of the problem. It was located in kind of an odd stretch of Venice. Bad spot to put it in. Not a great location. I feel like that could have been a home run restaurant out here.

They just need a better spot for it. I really do think that the real estate was a big issue. And it was fucking good. Everybody met something. Yeah, it's so good. I went back there by myself. I went back there alone just to fucking have it again because it was that good. You were Jay Leno to someone else.

Someone saw you eat by yourself and Willie Mays. I loved it. Yeah, Willemaze great. But I'd love to have the Nautlands original if that place is currently open. KFC is not as good as any of these places. We know that. Yeah, we know? When I was young, it was, like I said this, I've said this before, but the, you know, like on, when I was a kid kid, kid, it was like, occasionally, instead of, like,

pizza night Friday. It's like, we got a bucket of chicken from KFC. And I was like, oh, this is exciting. And also a better quality restaurant at that point in time, for sure. It was a better, it was a better, it was a better spot. It's funny how it makes you, like, maybe more than any food when you're a kid, it makes you grapple with the fact that you're eating flesh. Yeah, there's, because you get like a vein in there or something. I hated veins. I hate the veins. Vains were, veins. Vains on chicken were a hard thing for me to, because especially when Buffalo wings started to come around and then I really, I really, the veins. What are you, what do you, I do you like veins? I was thinking about the Colonel Sanders thing.

That's why you're still laughing? Man, we really can't live up to the Colonel's death over here. I thought you maybe had a weird take that you liked veins, but you're still just thinking about... I was reminiscing about... You were reminiscing about how you laughed about that the man died. In December... Yeah.

Because I thought the death date was going to be like 9-11 or something, and that's why you're laughing. I thought you had said September. I was like, okay. I get where it's going. It was just regular. regular old December. I continue.

How wild would it have been if the colonel died in 9-11? Just like 99? It's steady. It would have been different if the colonel was there. It would have gone down differently. The colonel and Seth MacFarlane racing to the plane and the crowd being like,

out of my way and getting on the plane. We're disgracious. Our veterans are bold and time for me to take my seat. Well, this will mean the death of civil limit is all over America. I'm getting cooked like the chickens are sold. Or he joined

them and he's like, death to America. The great Satan is going down in planes, boys. He did not die on September. He died of 1980. So far away from 9-11. What is the cause of death there?

No, trying out to laugh. Have you the... jacking off. Okay, I get it. I get it, Amelia. He was 90. He was 90, so he was just an old man. Yeah. Okay.

Natural causes, they used to say. Yeah, yeah, natural causes. Okay, you can read this. Oh, no. He was, oh God. He was diagnosed with acute leukemia in June of 1980 and died at Jewish Hospital in Louisville of pneumonia six months later. I like you passed it off, like that's too hilarious for you.

She doesn't want to risk it. It's not funny. Okay, so he did not die on you, 9093. We know that. All right. Good to know. Let's roll.

Let's biscuit. You talking about the like eating skin and veins and stuff made me think about there's this KFC commercial that came out in the UK like 10 months ago. It's like it was like an advertising campaign. Have you seen it? It's really creepy. These like people meet up in the woods and they take a guy and they like dip him in a lake

that looks like barbecue sauce and they pull out like a fried chicken wing and everybody cheers. What the fuck are you talking about? It turned a guy into a chicken wing that you had? No, it's real. This seems like, yeah, yeah, wait, wait. Well, it's a commercial. No, it's a commercial.

Mike sent it to me earlier and was like, wow, you should make the boys watch this. And I literally just realized I never hit send on the text message because I was going to send it. But it's like two minutes long, and it's like super creepy. It almost makes it feel like they're saying that the chicken is human. It's bizarre. And it's for, what is it for?

It's for KFC, but it was in the UK. It was like a marketing campaign. Can we bring that fucker up on the, let me pull it up. We'll take a look at that in a second. I feel like Chicken Tonight. There was a lot of, we do Chicken Right. There was a lot of, there was a lot of KFC advertising, by the. I feel like they did a good job.

Chicken Tonight was like a season. Yeah, it was a different thing. Oh, it wasn't. I think it was called Chicken Tonight. Yeah, I think that was the actual product. And then Bart sang it on Simpsons and I just associated with KFC. Yeah. I mean, we do chicken right, of course, we all know.

Chicken Little's, I mean, I liked KFC and then. Chicken Littles is such a good name. It is very good. KFC went from me, went from like, one of like, ooh, this is like one of like, the fancier fast food restaurants in like 1986 or 87 to what I think is like one of the lower tier fast food restaurants. The rebrand from Kentucky Fried Chicken to KFC, I think is a big part of like they, you know, that the Yum Brands absorption. It's just like they became a streamlined version of the old concept. They have a much narrower list of sides now.

And yeah, I think the chicken is still good, but it's just a, you know, it feels more like fast food than like a dinner replace me. Have you experienced, like, I feel like it's the most inconsistent of the fast food. One, oh, yeah. KFC is very inconsistent. It's very locational dependent. I have a lot more luck at Popeyes. And I love Popeye's one of my favorite chains. KFC just usually a little bit more present.

There are just fewer Popeyes out here. Can we watch some of this? Okay, yeah. It's two minutes long. So if we want to cut some of this down. Yeah, let's just play a little bit of it. Okay, we're in the woods. Okay, it sounds scary right off right off the bat.

Yeah. You've got to get a spooky sound design. A chicken is now seeing this guy. Wow, a real close up. That's a great shot of a chicken. Chicken's eye. Vest came onto a girl. Okay, a vest was lowered from the heavens.

That's the most confusing part of it so far. Oh, yeah. To a woman that I don't think he knows? The vest feels like, this looks like that Yorgos movie. Okay, so it's kind of like a pulse. This is very art horror coded. Yeah. The vest.

woman and the man is floating in the air okay ran away a whole bunch of people like in tunics monk robes and now here's

some sort of floating egg big golden egg big old golden egg that these cultists I'm making my determination right now I hate I don't like this I don't like it either

I don't like it because some of the choices already feel just like weird for the sake of being weird yes it definitely knows what it's doing. For sure.

I like this beat, though. I like a big golden egg. That's fun. He's in the cult. He's joined the cult. He's been indoctrinated. Justin Long. And there's a drumstick, chicken drumstick in the sky.

I don't know if so that. Okay, they're picking up a man. It looks like he's pretty easy to carry. Is that our hero? He seems fine with it. Yeah, he's being carried horizontally by the best lady. And it's a gravy lake, by that. Into a gravy or sauce lake.

Yeah, what is that? You know what, that might be gravy. I can't tell quite tell from the viscosity. So now he's a chicken like. She basically baptized this guy into a 10-8. Believe in chicken. So by that logic, wouldn't her lower half be chicken when she walks out? Yeah.

Yeah, 100%. But isn't that, doesn't that, like, imply that it's people, not chicken? Like, that makes me go, ew. Not, I want KFC. Definitely not an association you want to make. Yeah, no, isn't that bizarre? Yeah, I didn't like it. No, I don't like it.

My end determination is I didn't like it. And also, was he under, was it, did they turn him into chicken or is he just fried and there's human under there? That's a good question. There is a version where he's kind of like mummified in breading. Yeah. And so there's a man underneath there. Yeah, I think our food's pretty good and you should come eat it. I like, I miss those days.

Well, hey, that, you know what the colonel himself was a, you know, a living mascot for the brand? And some of his ads would he like... You just said the colonel, and she's... You just said the colonel, Emilio was laughing that you just mentioned the colonel. Is it like the word colonel?

I don't know. I don't know what is triggered this laugh. I think it's just that he died. It's not funny. I don't know why. Does this ever happen to you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

My grandpa died in 1993. Is that a funny thing for you? No, that's not funny. Oh, you're eating shit on that one. No, but the colonel that in December in 1980. That's funny, fuck. He was 90 years old, 91?

Yeah, 90 years old. Rest in power. Yeah, he lived for a good long stretch that colonel. Died by suicide by cough. Y'all will never take me alive. I mean, I think that would be cool. That would be cool. That would be cool.

So, look, my expectations going into this, not high. Yeah, same. Mine were not high either, because. Because I just like, to Cullen's point, it has declined a bit. It is not as this fancier spot that it used to be. It is not that it is now in the same sort of tier as like a Wendy's or whatever, which is fine. I like Wendy's. But, I mean, it's not like an elevated cuisine anymore.

Is there an advantage, is there a doughboys advantage to be getting put into the one slot? You're slotted into the first restaurant of the year. We haven't had fast. We haven't, I mean, we have had fast food, of course. Yeah, I've had. You mentioned yesterday? You had KFC? But I'm saying, is there something, that we haven't done the show in a while?

Is there an advantage? Is it advantageous to be that first episode of the year? You're not tired, you're not depressed. Both? Well, yeah. I'm kind of, I'm telling you about mushrooms are going to save your life. I like the forming new neural pathways thing, because I'm definitely getting dumber and slower.

Yeah, I don't know. I used to be quick. I think you're being too kind to how smart and fast you were before all this happened. Maybe you'll unlock a part of your brain you didn't even know you had this whole time. Oh, that would be fun. You start making shit float and stuff like that? I don't want that. Or going to parties.

I guess we should start a little slower. Maybe you're smarter now and your standards are just higher for yourself. Yeah. Oh, that's an interesting perspective. I like that. I disagree with it, but. It's interesting. I think maybe it will be interesting.

I think microdosing would be a good way for you to start. Would you, is it like a marijuana where it's like I'm going to have these mushrooms and ooh, I'm going to want a big bucket of fried chicken? No. No, it's not. It's actually quite the opposite. Yeah, you're a little nauseous for the first like half hour. Oh, interesting.

You might want alcohol, which is also bad. You know, I've always only eaten. I've like drank when I've taken mushrooms always, I feel like. People say sometimes having a drink or two helps like the anxiety of like the Like come up or whatever. But if you're microdosing, there really isn't a come up, so to speak of. It's just like, you're like on a walk. And then you're like, wow, everything's so beautiful.

And I'll be like, the streams have kicked in. But it's super, super subtle. Yeah. That's my biggest issue with substances. I get anxiety. But go on. Well, then I don't know if you should take them. I don't know.

Microdosing, I don't think would give you anxiety. I think I get really anxious when I take. I've done it a few times. And I just, you feel like a raw egg. I feel like a raw egg. And if someone pokes you, you'll just completely melt. I don't have that experience. I've never had a bad experience on those.

I could see you freaking out. I have had a bad trip on mushrooms before. If you're microdosing, I don't think you have a bad time. Yeah, but I, yeah. I also could see you being like, I'm peaking, buddy, and having no reaction to it at all. That's totally possible. That also could happen. 100%.

Yeah, we're all made of the same stuff, but who cares? Yes. That might happen to you. So the revamp singer sandwich. This is what I was going to say Just the line of the point of my earlier thought If we're getting bone and chicken I was like I know at least that'll be good

That there's a there's a probably be pretty consistent But not a single bone today No bones today we're getting stuff that's a little bit more processed And so that includes the new the revamped Zinger sandwich A spicy marinated chicken breasts with extra crispy crunch shredded lettuce and creamy kernels mayo I don't know if I like the sound of kernels mayo Well look on a toasted brioche bun

There's some they got some they got some naming issues with the whole. They do. There's a lot of cum stuff in this menu. Sticky chickie sauce. Yeah, they get the bad name. They get the comeback sauce. Comeback sauce. The comeback sauce, which is explicitly a rip-off of the cane sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's, it's fine. Yeah, look, I, Colonel's Mayo, I don't, I don't think they should have named it, Colonel's. It was that Cummy Mountain Dew we drank. There was also the Cummy Mountain Dew, which is not the worst thing of the day, I would say. I would agree with that. Not to spoil what. it's coming out of you. No, I agree with you. But it was not the triple Zinger. I want them to bring back the triple Zinger sandwich at some point. I don't know if they ever will. Which I believe had a tomato on it, lettuce, tomato, and a spicier aoli in the three different things. This, but the Zinger Sandwich is huge in Australia from what I remember, Weggs, right? Is it the Zinger sandwich like is just available in Australia all the time? I'm not sure. I don't have that in front of me. What I do have is this is from brand eating. Compared to the previous version, KFC has changed the recipe for the chicken breast.

filet and so it has new seasoning blend and swapped out the sesame seed bun for the toasted brioche bun. If it makes it out of testing, which is we're getting it here in L.A. because it's a test market. If it makes it out of testing, the Zinger sandwich would be the only menu item containing lettuce on the KFC menu. How about that? Wow.

Yeah. None of their other sandwiches of lettuce? I guess not. Why do they even have it? I know. Just for the zinger. You're adding an ingredient just for one sandwich. Yeah.

I mean, that's definitely a bit of a roadblock towards scaling up, but, you know, maybe they'll deem it worth a while. I'll rest on you. Well, guess what? I deem it worthwhile because that's a five fork or sandwich to me. I wouldn't go five forks, but I think it's a very good sandwich. It's a four. I really like the sandwich.

It's a golden play club. Today it was a, and you ate yours, yours was a little bit colder. Mine was a little bit colder because I got here late, but I did like, I did still enjoy it quite a bit. I thought it had still had a great Christmas to it, that spicy crispy or chicken breast definitely held up with the extra crispy. The spicy seasoning on it's good as hell.

I was shocked at how much I liked the spicy seasoning. Liked it quite a bit. I put a little more hot sauce on that sandwich. And I loved it. I thought it was delicious. Yeah. Now, do you, I know you're very nostalgic for all the foods of your youth.

Yes. Did you like it better with the three strips? I thought the breast was working. The breast, it was working, and I would eat a version of that sandwich. I wish it had the spicy aiole. But we've said this before. Brioche buns are so fucking boring.

I don't need that brioche, yeah. Brioch, but I know you didn't eat the top half of your brios. You wanted some of the colonel's mayo off. A little less colonel cum in mind. That male just like in a deep freeze for four years. He was hanging himself and jacking off of me in time. We got to hold on to this. Well, he died in December, so maybe he was cold when they arrived when the, when the, when a.

That's probably what happened. was cold when they arrived. The KFC team arrived. It was December. They were like, thank God it's December. Extract some frozen ejaculate. They used as the starter for the colonels of Mayo. They put an oxygen mask on him here and like some sort of 45-year down below.

Right. And they're 2026. We'll save it for then. I liked the sandwich a lot too. I thought it's really good. The three of us liked the sandwich. The dais also ate the sandwich. And you guys seem to like it as well.

We did. It was great. A good sandwich. It's a good sandwich. I mean, the thing is that there are just so many, this is a trite observation, there's just so many chicken sandwiches out there. It was like, it was like the go-to item in recent years because of the Popeye's fast food, Popeye's chicken sandwich.

Everyone was cloning that, which itself was a clone of the Chick-fil-A sandwich. And so it's just like, it's competing with all these other ones, but I think it's a really good execution. And it's a little different, which I like. You know what I would do is I'd put Pepper Jack on it. That would be fun. Interesting. They should have a deluxe version like Chick-fil-A does that has some. some cheese on it.

I'm searching. Is the Zinger sandwich big in Australia? That's what I... What do you ask? The suicide hotline coming up? Are you asking Google? What are you asking? The KFC Zinger is a popular standard menu item in Australia, widely consumed across

the country. While it sizes... While it's sized, there was no Australian emphasis on it, but I'm sure that that's how it has said down there. While the size is considered normal for substantial fast food chicken sandwich, there have been occasional customer discussions online regarding perceived changes in size over the years. A common complaint with many fast food items known as shrinkflation. This is that, this is just, I Googled it.

It's the game, the Google and you're reading the Google AI summary. Exactly, yes. I, the meal, that's how I started the meal and started off great. It was the first thing I ate as well. I thought it was delightful. And I got to say, I wasn't, as the meal kept going, I was never really, disappointed. Let's talk about the cheese curds because the Maddie Matheson bowl combines the curds with other elements. I like curds a lot. We've had great curds at, you know, at Culvers. We've got putteen in Canada. Like we've had proper putteen. I feel like we've had some really success with curds. I like the breaded curds. I like that approach. I think that's a really good fast food app or chain restaurant app. They have a decent curds at Buffalo Wild Wings that will sometimes go. tours. I have a lot

affection for them, but they're not as much of a thing out here. Culvers, right? That's the... Colvers, yeah, yeah. What did I say? Standard. I think he did say Culbers. He did say Culper's. Okay, I wasn't sure. I wasn't paying attention. Culbers, Calvers, curds are very... Those are great. Those are good curds. They're so good. Really yummy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good curds.

How, what is, as someone who spent a lot of time in the Midwest? Do you have a cheese curd? Yeah, I mean, there's not tons of curds in Chicago. Oh, interesting. But then you go cross the border in Wisconsin. It's everywhere. So it really was whenever we were visiting Wisconsin. That's what I associate it with. Colin made a good observation of both the Kurds. I did. You did? Oh, just that like,

this could have gone much worse than it did. Well, not only that. The squeak. I mean, the squeak. We didn't get the squeak. The squeak was kind of gone. You didn't get the squeak as much with these curds. But I thought they were pretty damn good for KFC curds. I got to tell you. I was impressed. I didn't think they were bad at all. I was enjoying them.

I was certainly popping them in my mouth and, and chewing. Having fun. Yeah. Yeah, we saw. He didn't talk to anyone He was just silently eating the curds Are curds just okay though? I mean, right, they are just okay I don't think they're just okay

I think a good curd can be really good But he never felt good after eating curds Yes, they do make you feel like complete shit I'm just gonna throw this out there I like a mozzarella stick more than I like a curd Okay I'm fine with either I certainly like the kind of cheese that's in cheese

Curds I think that and I Maybe the issue with mozzarella sticks sometimes is they can be really stringy and a little cumbersome to eat. And it's also like you have to be in the mood for that, that, that, um, the fucking marinerer dip in sauce. Yeah. Which like the curds, I think is a little more versatile.

Whatever. You could do a ranch with a mozzarella. Now, if I could get the flavor of a curd in the consistency of a mozzarella stick, I think that would be my favorite. Oh, that'd be fun. Interesting. You wouldn't have the issue of getting all caught up in the string cheese that you have. They get, don't they get fucking stringy?

The cheese pole, that's not a bad thing to have happened. It's a little bit of a pain in the ass sometimes. That is insane. It is a little messy. That the string cheese is a pain. All right, fine, I'll give it to you. The string cheese can be a little messy. I'm just saying they both have advantages and disadvantage.

It's very much like infomercial. Like, has this happened to you and it's like struggling to eat? Yeah. It's not an issue that's ever happened to any. I don't know anyone who has been like, oh my God, this, I've got tangled up in the fucking mozzarella stick cheese. Sorry, I'm wait, guys. Yeah, you're making up something that doesn't really happen.

All right, fine. All right, good. Thank you. This stuff should happen more often where I could say, and likewise. Maybe for this year you guys should have like a scoreboard for every time you win one of these. You mark it up there. Turning this to a scoreboard. We don't need to make it a scoreboard.

Well, that's one for you, Ms. Let me pivot. Well, I was eating these. All right, we don't have to have the scoreboard, but if we're going to close it down right now, I win. It's on nothing. So I'll give you the dub. Let's pivot. While I was eating these curds, I was thinking, current curds, future turds.

A jape worthy of the colonel himself. They are future turrets. It occurred to me. But these are way future, I mean, the way the cheese binds you up, this is a super future turd. Yeah. This thing might not come out until 20, 27. Who knows? A part of the curds.

I mean, you're right, Wags. Current curds future turds. I think it's a thing everyone thinks of when they eat a curd. They're pretty yummy. I thought they were good. They were yummy. They did a good job. Yeah.

Not my favorite Kurds ever, but I think they were a decent execution. I thought they could have been just a little bit crunchier, a little bit more fry. But they definitely could have been a little crunchier. Again, I was coming to it a little bit later, so mine were naturally a little bit more sogged. What do you like better, a soft curd or soft turd? He don't like a soft turd. You don't like a soft turd? I think that's the best kind of turd.

I like a medium firm. Oh, okay. I know where I stand on a medium firm. Okay, yeah. Easy clean up with a medium. I'm just wondering what everyone's relative. sense of what soft means. Because soft doesn't mean like liquefied.

No, of course it doesn't mean liquefied. So that sounds like a soft sounds like an easy to push out. We're grading on a curve in this room probably with dual consistency. The Bristol, the Bristol stool scale. We can all buy that. I'll pull it up. Yeah, let's look at some pictures of shit. Cartoons of shit.

The Bristol stool scale? Yeah. You've never seen this before? I'm familiar with this. There's seven options. When did the guy who created this die. So soft to me, that looks like from the, basically the three on the right, right?

Is that where you'd maybe Dane soft to begin? It's a big drop off between. Yeah, I think specifically that one is soft, right? That's a number five. What is it? What is number five? Number five seems fine. Blobs that are soft and pass easily.

Yeah, that seems like, that seems fine. That's not soft to me. I mean, that's like, that to me is closer. Seven is entirely liquid. No, okay, then what's the other drug? What's like four? Four is sausage. Saus and shaped stool, but smooth and soft like a snake?

Yeah, that's, that's great A, man. Is that soft? That is soft to me. Then, yeah, of course, yeah, you'd want that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's what I'm saying. That's like the Cadillac of Bristol School.

That's one of the healthy stool types. Ah, see. What are the, how many healthy ones are there? There's only two healthy. Three and four are healthy. Three and four are healthy. What's three? Three is probably medium firm.

Medium firm. Medium firm. You were saying, sausage shaped with stool with cracks on the surface. Some ridges, yeah. But still, like, one piece. Yeah, that sounds right. Amelia finds this about as funny as the Colonel's death. Just give us the rest of them.

Okay, one. One is the hardest. Hard. I think you should start with number two. I think just putting one in there. Number one should be piss. Or it should be like 2.1, 2.2. Yes, right, right, right.

Okay, 2.1. So one's hard separate pellet-like lumps that are difficult to pass. Hate those. Unpleasant. Two, lumpy. sausage shaped stool. Love it. Yeah, that's not a bad one.

Three is the one with cracks on the surface. Four is smooth and soft like a snake. A lot of snake talk to this. Crystal put a fucking snake up his ass. That's what I've learned from this. Numbers one through four are like, this feels familiar. This feels like that snake I thought. Oh yeah.

Numbers one through four are like a darker brown. Five through seven are like a light brown. Lighter shade of pale. Yeah. Five blobs that are soft and passed easily. six mushy stool in the form of fluffy pieces with ragged edges. The fluff. I hate the fluff. The fluff comes with a kind of a burn.

Yeah, the fluff is never good. Seven, entirely liquid. No solid pieces. I may be like entire liquid over the flow. I would take. Yeah, absolutely. The fluid's kind of fun. It's like novel.

And the fluff is like, I'm like, I'm sick or something. There's like something wrong when you have the fluff. No, that's a bad one. And then the hard pellets is a bad. The rabbit. Rabbit poop. It's a rough stuff. Yeah, rabbit poops.

Anyway, the KFC's Maddie's cheesy nuggie gravy bowl is secret recipe fries with gravy topped with five Kentucky fried nuggets and five fried white cheddar cheese curd curd. So this is basically, you know, like a famous bowl, but with fries instead of mashed potatoes. Sounds like it has all those textures. No corn. It does have all these turd textures. It's got every, it's got little rabbit pellets. And it's kind of disco fries. It's fries with gravy.

But I guess also. My curts have little cracks on the surface. also Ragged little pieces Also putteen But with With nuggets This is like

Eating a snake This is like Eating a snake. This thing I had no Specific problem with this But I wasn't like You

I was like Ooh that doesn't look As good as everything else And then you were like Yeah it's not having issues I like the gravy I thought the gravy Like helps it a lot

I was I had a good time With I had a good time With every item Crazy I was eating it and I was like, as first I was like, okay, because it definitely does not, you eat with your eyes first and it does not look appealing. No. It looks like it's on the Bristol scale. Yes.

And then you start chomping into it and you're like, okay, you're getting a bunch of flavors that you're not sure if they're going to work together, but they absolutely work together. I don't know. As just like, this was a trashy indulgence. I mean this. I'm like, I'm going to feel like complete shit. Yeah. But I was enjoying myself. And I did have that, I did say out loud as I was eating it was, as I was eating it, is this maybe awesome?

You did say that. You did say that. I think it maybe is. I think we were having another discussion when you said, is this maybe awesome? I think you kind of just popped up out of nowhere with, with, you did eat after us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you did eat after us. But I, I kind of agree with you that I was, Maddie Mathisson put together a good bowl. Yeah, it's good.

Again, I like the flavors of, I think of those three things, it's the, no, I would, get the sandwich over that, I would say. Oh, yeah. I would get the sandwich is number one for me. It felt more coquessive. Yeah, yeah. Sure, I mean, the sandwich could be like an everyday order. Yeah. This is, this is like, again, an indulgence. We also got a Mountain Dew exclusive. This is sweet lightning, peaches and cream soda.

Mitch, you had a taste-tested blind, not knowing. I knew that it was Mountain Dew, but I didn't know which seasonal Mountain Dew flavor it specifically was. To be clear, not a Mark Wahlberg blinding. I just had you guess, to be clear, what, what, what? He said probably some of the same stuff he said. I did not say anything of the sort. Did the light just change?

Did the light change? Is Mark here with us? I don't think so. I think the light... All right, no mind. Am I out of my mind? Maybe. All right.

I thought it dimmed for a second. I didn't notice if it did. Anyway, sorry. Did you blink? I did blank. I did blank. That is true. Did everyone go away, perhaps?

Blinking is so fucking crazy. It is crazy. It is crazy. It's closing our eyes all the fucking time. Yeah. So fast that you can't perceive it. How much of your life you think all the blinking adds up to? A good chunk.

I'd like to see that. Also with your eyes closed from sleeping. Yeah. Are our eyes always closed in a way they are, Wags? In a way they are. There's the thing I read about perception that we're like, because it takes time for light to reach our eyes and for sound to reach our ears, we're always interacting with something that happened slightly,

in the past, which really fucks your mind if you think about it too much. Like, microseconds of the fast. You got to take mushrooms. Yeah, I was going to say, you might like, you actually might like mushrooms. Because that's the boring ass shit they say on mushrooms. So, producer Ben Hossley of the Blank Check

podcast in L.A. right now. Stop by. Met Nelly, which was lovely. We also met your friend Liz, which was a lot of fun. What a crew. What a great crew. What a good first day back. So we had a nice little ensemble. Everyone was was taste testin this stuff.

And Ben had the observation. It tastes like a melted peach ring, like those kind of shitty candies. And I was like, I completely agree. It was really saccharin. It was really cloyingly sweet. People thought it was mango before. Very sciencey. I did detect some mango, but it's not mango.

It's peaches and cream. Peaches and cream. I was saying that it was sweet, but it also tasted like a fake sugar as well. Yeah. I think that's the artificiality of it. I think that's just like the sciencey peaches. It's so sugary shouldn't taste like a diet drink also. It was like that was the weird part of it to me.

It was also dense and cummy to your point. Yeah, I don't like a cream element. Look, I'm a Mountain Dew guy. I love Mountain Dew. I don't like a cream in my Mountain Dew. No, I don't need it. It's like it's, do is good enough, man. Yeah.

I don't need you to put extra. It just shouldn't be sweeter than regular Mountain Dew. Are they doing, because I couldn't get a description on this. Yeah, Mountain Dew doesn't have to be any sweeter at all. But is this like an attempt at like the dirt. soda trend. Like, does it have some dairy added to it? Is that part of it? When they made it, they pumped syrup into it.

So it was a cummy-looking syrup. Colonel. But it was like peach and cream in one syrup, not peaches and cream. Yeah, it was just white syrup. And there was, this is the cum. I think this is the official cum restaurant. It really is. There's a lot of cum. A lot of cum endoendo at KFC. Yeah. And also there was pulp in this thing, too. Yes.

I don't know what that's from. That was like peaches aren't pulpy, right? Yeah. It literally looked like you did it like an emergency that didn't get like mixed, right? And it was all stuck on the edge. Yeah, there was a powder to it. If they're using some sort of pump in store, if they're making it like a barista, it's like there is going to be some inconsistency in terms of it's not like a thing, thing coming out of a soda fountain. So it could be our specific version of it wasn't exactly what we're, what, how it's supposed to be.

Someone of the sweet tooth was making it possibly. Who knows? Okay. Maybe sweet tooth himself. Who knows? Okay, have this on the Mountain Dew Wiki. Sweet Lightning is a southern... Sweet Lightning is a different thing.

No, that is Sweet Lightning. It's a sweet lightning. It's a sweet-legged peaches and cream, right? Sweet peach and smooth honey flavor? Oh. Yeah. There was honey in it? So that was the cum.

No, it was Mountain Dew, Sweet Lightning. Peaches and cream soda. Okay, here we go. So this is a little different than what's described here. They maybe revamped it a little bit. But Mitch, similar to other flavors like Barry Monsoon and the 2017 version of DoeSA,

the fountain version of Sweet Lightning uses a half-diet formula containing the artificial sweeteners superlose and a sall sulfame potassium or whatever the fuck. How about that? You really said it tastes half diet. Yeah, you were right.

My little taste buds, wags. Are you a supertaster for Mountain Dew? I might be, I may be a supertester. I am very, Jesse Ferrar, some dipshit that we know. He has challenged me to like a taste, and I think I'm very good with tasting stuff. I'm not very good at a lot of stuff at all.

And I've been very bad on the podcast even. And the Weiger Challenge, I've held my own. You're pretty good at the Weger Challenge. But I think I'm pretty good with like, if you put different burgers in front of me and didn't tell me where they're from, I could easily do that. And I think a lot of people could do that.

I don't think that's that big of a deal. But I could taste that. You can taste that face. sugar taste you can taste to any one. You really can't. So it may be, this is maybe illuminating. There is daylight between sweet lightning and sweet lightning peaches and

cream, which we had to do. The peaches and cream is a new varietal that has added vanilla cream. And it is a, to my point, is a swirl of vanilla cream. This is from the Mountain Dew subreddit, and it's a dirty soda. So that's another thing.

I was also right. Hey, we're on fire to start the new year. I'm jealous, I don't have any Mountain Dew takes for this. It feels like there's one million things happening with this soda, though. They're like, it's a dirty soda, and it's a fruit soda, and it's a half-diet soda, and it's like too many. Ungapachka, if you want. It is Ungapachka. Wow.

And we just want to drink some cum. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's storm the capital. I really did not like this. I didn't like it. It was the worst thing.

It was the worst thing of the night by far. If you had made like a simple peach mountain dew, I might have been into that. Yeah. Like just like little peach flavoring in that mountain dew. I would have been into that. Yeah. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by booking.com.

Hey, buddy, booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the U.S. So you can find exactly what you're booking for. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky, team. And we know them teens can be picky. Your sleep right, rise early mom, we've all got them, or your high maintenance group chat. You know who you are. You can find exactly what you're booking for.

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So that's always nice. I also really enjoy when there's some sort of kitchen or kitchenette. And that's really, really handy. And hey, whatever you're looking for, whatever you're booking for, I should say, you can find at booking. If I can find my perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. It's like what I say about finishing Sekiro, which I did. If I can beat it, you can beat it.

If I can find my perfect stay on booking.com, you can. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking dot, yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Hey, buddy, Mitch, you know me. I love business and I'm always having ideas. always having new schemes, always having new opportunities in mind for myself and others.

New year, I say new business. More like chew business when you're talking about the doughboys. It is true business, wags, and two business is booming. It sure is. Do you have an idea you can't shake or craft everyone tells you to sell a store you've already designed in your own head with Shopify 2026 is when you finally make it happen? Shopify provides everything you need to sell online in.

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Cha-ching. This new year with Shopify by your side. We should get to our final thoughts on KFC. So Cullen, you know the podcast, but just a refresher. We'll each go around, give our closing argument, if you will, on this particular meal and end it by giving it a score from zero to five forks. You are our guests seated to my left. We will begin with you.

Your thoughts, your fork score. So I haven't listened to the podcast a little while, but in general, my take about the four scores is I feel like everyone's being a little too nice to these restaurants. Wow. I feel like it's a little inflated. And so I kind of wanted to like have a memorable moment here and maybe drag the scale down a little bit, but I'm going to say four for forks. Wow.

Four for fours. Look, it was a four fork outing for sure. My expectations were not high, and it, like, exceeded my expectations. Nor were mine. Wags. Four forks, good score. Four spurts of cum. Yeah, that's a season 11 thing.

It's not a spurts have come now. Oh, yeah. Four spoons of cum. We're going to change all our merch to that as well. See that you do. Someone's got a hoodie with five white splotches. If you know, you know. The five staying close.

Amelia, could you turn down the AC2? I forget what number was that before. It's at 6.7. She was very excited that it was set to 6.7. That's fun. The young. I thought it was a really great outing. That sandwich was great.

I wish it was on a different bun maybe, but I want the triples in her back. Yeah. But the Kurds for what they're trying to do were, you know, better than I thought they would be. And I really liked the bowlwags. I'm going, I don't go four and a quarter forks. Four and a quarter forks, four forks one time. Because the chicken sandwich itself was a five forker. At first bite of that chicken sandwich, I was legit, kind of blown away by it.

It was good. If the seasoning was great, it was great. Real yummy. Mitch, it falls to me. That's right. Whether KFC returns to the Hall Halls or maybe makes its first entry. I'm not quite sure the history of its fork score. Has it not gotten in there yet?

Into the Golden Plate Club. I don't know if it's ever been inside. I don't know if it's ever shared a cell with Popeyes, if you will. By the way, can I quickly just go back to one thing we were saying before. A cell? Is it a prison? It's a prison. They're trapped in there.

They can't get out. Just going with people tasting like the blind soda tasting tests. Again, not Walburne-Ajazzed. But like the blind, like, when you're just do like, when you're sipping, when you're, they show the, you know these videos online. The straw at the straw. Yeah. We did. Why go two point-up.

No, with Jordan Morris. So they do those, they do those a lot. Those are like still popular online, but you'll see someone like drink like a diet Coke and then say Sprite or so. People are real, they suck at them. And it gets me mad. I don't know if it's like engagement farming or something like that. But like you confuse Sprite and Coke? You shouldn't be doing the damn.

Why are you doing the damn video? This is like China is destroying us. I think it's because, I think maybe because they are either. Yeah, they're either trolling or they are so notably bad at it that's kind of interesting in a freak show way to say, like, how does this motherfucker think that that Diet Coke is Sprite? Yeah, it just, it makes me, sorry, it just, I just, hey Mitch, I get to be this guy. You're talking about it. We need more of that guy. We need more of that guy.

I bring that guy around. That guy needs to come back. I can't conceive of anyone thinking Sprite is Coke or. This is my issue. And I'm like, I'm like, I think I'm pretty good at that sort of thing, but like, you would never be, you could never. These are Christa. Two?

No. Yeah. Are you good at it? Are you good at the, I don't know if you're good at the Weiger Challenge? I don't, look,

I, I'm, I administrate it. I don't compete. Hmm. Maybe you need to do a little Mitchie challenge. Interesting. That would require you to do

a little bit of prep. Never mind. Oh yes. We're back. It's like buying a drink. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I have to tell Amelia

to buy my drink from you piece of shit. And then I don't know if you have some dumb song that you sing No, you don't even. No, we don't have a song for the LigerCell. This is the Wiger Challenge.

Yeah, we should make one. No, you shouldn't. The Wiger Challenge. Oh, that's really good. You gotta drink that stuff. Gotta drink that stuff. I was thinking like something off of I have the Tiger, but it's the final countdown, Wigar Challenge. I wrote you an eye of the tiger thing and you didn't use it for a live show.

I don't know if you remember this. Wait, what was it? Fuck you. I don't remember. I wrote it and then you were like, I'm good or some shit. You didn't use it. I probably had another song. He really big dig to you.

He did. He's had some other fucking stupid song. I wrote the fucking song. Do you know, is it in your text? Where is it? I haven't pulled up. Oh, she's got it? Yeah. When's this from? It's from May 15th, 2025.

Oh, so it's from last year. Yeah. Do you want to read it? Or should we say it to me? You should sing it. What was this for? What show is this for then? May's 15th. That would have been. our 10th year anniversary?

No, we wouldn't have done it for the 10 years show. No, but we were on the road. We were doing shows every day before that one. Oh. Oh. I think it was, I think it was D.C. or something. DC or something. DC or New York, yeah.

Yeah, D.C. What do we end up doing? Not Philly? We didn't do Philly. We did too nice in D.C. We did something with Stombrose. Yes. Yeah, but that wouldn't, we just had Mitch, Mitch, we did a song together.

Smartin up. Taste this cold drink. Try to figure it out now. It's made of liquid, and I'm, I got you to think you can guess what it is and be right. It's the taste of the Wiger. It's the Wiger challenge. That's what it was.

That's really good. I like it. Taking sips and guessing and guessing what the drink is. I don't know. I mean, like, I wrote this up in just a couple minutes. I think what it is is that I already had a Chris Isaac song prepared. That's what it was. And so I was just like, we already had the track in there.

Wasn't that a repeat song or no? Yeah, but I knew. I was like, I had so much fucking shit to get through in that that show. I was like, I got a new, I get, I know this one. You big dicked me is what happened. I did not big dick to. Hey, look, that was really, we really appreciate the submission. Yeah.

It feels like when I go on fucking auditions. I had to do a fight. I liked it. I might use it. I might use it. I don't know. Yeah. We'll call you.

We would have to get a new thing. We had to get new cue in the, like, there's just more movie parts. It might, Emma might have killed it. Emma didn't kill it. She probably, she probably, she probably, she probably do you. Chris Isaac bullshit the day of Because everyone went great I mean they probably did like the Chris Isaac

Actually Wiger killed it He said I did that before as I am Nick Weiger Oh I am the tiger I am Nick Wiger So you didn't pay any attention to the past You did that for Joe boys I am Nick Wiger

I don't know let me find it Do you keep notes on the things they say to each other I just like I just type in Yeah, typing keywords into the, into I message. I don't delete any messages. Me either. She keeps contemporaneous notes for future litigation. Also, so these arguments can only be like five minutes instead of like two hours.

At our litigation, I'm just going to hold up December 1980. You won't be able to say anything. Huge pot for the date of death for the car. I'm going to hire a lawyer that's a big southern guy wearing a white suit. Now, Amelia. He opens up his jacket and it just says the day on the show. Are you looking at I am Nick Weiger? Yeah, it's just kind of hard, a tough string to search for.

Yeah, it's definitely a hard thing to search for. How do you say, I am Nick Weir. That's how he opens all of his emails. I am Nick Weiger. Oh, I'm Nick Weiger. I'm writing to you. I'll try to track it down. Or you know what?

Probably someone can find it in the wiki or something like that. Shut up a note. You did it on the dobo? On the dobo? I must have. All right. Where else was you doing? I think it was, I wouldn't think it was a line of bullshit to just to quiet me down, I think is what it was.

But anyways, let's do the fucking segment. I was probably also, I was probably also cranky. Oh, you think? We're doing so many roads, we're doing so much touring this year. You hate it. What are we doing? All right, then let's cancel some dates. What do you want for me?

If I book something, we're going to can't, I hope I book something. I hope you must happen. I hope you book something. You should book something. It's not going to happen. Yeah, you're a good actor. You should be booking things. Don't start doing this now.

What are you talking about? I hope that I hope that I, the dream is that I got close to booking something that would have been a show end. That would have killed doughboys. And we both would have been so happy. I have to find out what this is. I'll tell you after this. That didn't happen.

I was close. We were almost freed from this gilded cage, but unfortunately we're still doing this season 11. But hey. He did rivalry? You were the coach like, hey, knock it off. Did I give my fork score? You did not.

Okay. What the hell? Did I? I don't think you did. We got distracted by Wager Challenge song. Oh. Can I just give again just in case? You were saying the cell?

You forgot you a fork score? You almost forgot to give a fork score for episode? I don't think I did. I said the Pope I was going to share a cell with KFC. That's right. But I don't think I actually got to my fork score. If we had just moved on right now, I would have never been the wiser. Then this would have been the episode where I didn't give a fork score.

Yeah. It kind of still is. It still can't. We get to end it right now. It's episode 26. It's an incomplete episode. I mean, I don't know if it's fair to our guest that we have an incomplete episode. I will be so fucking pissed.

All right, I'll give a fork score. The Zinger is really fun. I will compare it favorably to a menu item that both you and I treasure the spicy the spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's. Sure. I think it's the same sort of concept with these spicy. They're falling apart over there. I think it's a high-quality chicken breast.

I think it had some nice crotch to it. Can I give a quick Wendy's update? The Colonel's Mayo with, I didn't mind. My mom had a grilled chicken wrap. The night, she dropped me off at the airport, had a grilled chicken wrap from Wendy's and fries. I told her, no, no, no. She's got higher cholesterol than me. Wow.

You've got to bring it down. The tables are turning because it was usually her telling you what to eat. Well, I mean, yes, but that was just because I was fat. I never had high cholesterol weirdly. I don't know how it worked out that way. and I still am fat, but she doesn't yell at me as much anymore. You're looking great. You look great.

She's, yeah, she keeps saying that too, and I don't like it. But no, nothing weird going on. There's nothing weird going on. I like Harvard writers, too, by the way, just to go over some other stuff. I don't do anything. That scene from back to the future is horny and sexy, but I don't, I, that's, that's, I shouldn't have brought that up again. She got Wendy's. She enjoyed the Wendy's quite a bit. So I haven't had it in a minute, but it's, it's, what's it's it's called?

The people who buy it, the venture capitalists. It's getting destroyed. It's going to be, it's going to, it's, it's really down. Private equity absorbs a lot of these, you know. It's, yeah, but I mean, whatever. It's the same. It's just, just all these intermediaries who add no actual value to the economy and just find ways to make money off of other people's work while also making everything shittier.

What are you going to do? The answer is nothing. You're powerless. You can't do anything. Yes. But I did like the Zinger sandwich. I thought the cheese gurus were fine. Fine to pretty good, better than I expected.

Again, to Colin's point, I had pretty low expectations for this particular outing. And I really like that cheesy, nuggy gravy bowl. I thought that was just like, I get why a chef would land on this is like, this is my, I'm fucking hungover or whatever. This is the garbage that I want to eat. with some fried chicken in there, which I'm sure is already a thing anyways, but it's great. The dirty soda, sweet lightning, peaches, and cream was gross. But overall, welcome to the Golden Plate Club, KFC. It is four forks.

Wow. I think it deserves it. For this outing, you know. I think so. It's outing by outing, logs. That's the way it is now. You know what? That's the way it is now.

It's outing by outing. That's the way it is now. It's outing by outing and we rate things in loads. Ah, our final form. God. Year 11, we finally figured it out. And we're going to fight each other. All right, let's, it's, it's time for a segment.

It's Slop Quiz, palette, palette edition. We're going to be shown a palette of colors and must identify which chain restaurant brand that colors belong to. Note, all color sets are based on current color ways as of 2026, January, 2026. Now, I actually haven't seen those, these yet. So are you playing? I'm going to play it and Miley's going to drive. Whoa.

This is huge. All right. Do we ring in or do we go one by one? What do we do? I think we could each guest, yeah? I think we should buzz in. Sure. That's probably the idea.

So should we say buzz or say our names? December 13th, 1980? December 16th. Are you ready for the first one? Yeah. Okay, here comes. Mitch. I heard Mitch first.

Yeah. I'm going to say this is A and W. Okay. Should we let everybody guess? Maybe now we let everybody guess. Oh, it sounds like I got it wrong. I was going to say Ann W. Rupert, so I'm not going to guess that. It looks a lot like A&W to me, but why?

Because you might be able to get this. I mean, I also was going to buzz in with A&W, but I will opt for White Castle. Hmm. I feel like they maybe have some orange in there. It might be more of a gold. Is this some bullshit? No, burger hands blue. Oh, what a burger?

What is this, Amelia? Oh. I wasn't even thinking. Zah. Of course that's Little Caesars. I think A&W is orange, white, and brown. Yeah. The black is such a strong element was kind of throwing me.

That's the same. It's the outline of the guy. Yeah, let me just say, I'm going to be showing three panels. Each panel is the same size. But it's not necessarily indicative of how much is in the logo. Exactly. It's not indicative of how it. Did you make this, by the way?

Yes. Wow. Hey, I love it. Gorgeous. Is this what you did on, during the logo? the break? No, no, I did this last night. Another thing to keep in mind, some brands have similar colors,

but I use the exact hex codes from their websites. I love it. So just be vigilant. This red might be different than this red. Exactly. I'll tell you, these vertical lines, the orange, white, and black, that should be the new Italian flag. Yeah.

Halloween flag. Yeah, this would be a seasonal, their spooky flag. Having a Halloween flag is a great idea. Italian horror nights. Every country should have Halloween flag. Also, Italian Fyzer's guy on there too, why not? Yeah, why not?

Put him on there. Harris had that joke about the Little Caesar's guy having chest hair. His chest hair may be removed. Not present in this logo. I thought about this the other day because we drove by Little Caesars and the little guy on the sign

did have the little curly chest hair thing and I was like, wait, so does he have chest hair or does he not? Maybe it's like the old one did, the new one doesn't? Yeah, maybe he's waxed. The revamp logo might have. taking away the chest pubes. Maybe got burned off like Jay Leno. Is body hair back?

Because I feel like we were looking for, we wanted our smooth boys for a while. And I guess that's still the look we got with the heated rivalry. Definitely. But I feel like at some point there's going to be like a resurgence of like, oh, yeah, a guy with a hairy chest, which I'm not, would not be to my benefit. Well, let me tell you, I'm taking monoxidol right now.

And let's just say, you have a pub? Mitch has pubs, we're rating and cum. It's a whole new dope. All right, let's get the next one. Huh. I guess you're describing this for our audio listeners. We have the vertical stripes here to be red, yellow, white, or just red, yellow, and white.

It's three colors, right. Mitch. McDonald's. Okay. Wyger. How is it? Weiger. In and out burger.

Ooh. Okay. Should we let everybody guess? I don't even have one. Those are the two that I know that are those colors. I think there's going to be a curveball. I don't have it. I'm going to pass.

I'm feeling curveball now. The red doesn't look like for McDonald's, so I think I'm wrong. In-and-out burger, why? So the hamburger's all about. So if I said in and out, would I've got a point? Or would Nick only get it because he got it first? Just him because he got it first. I will say this that this is now confusing for the last one.

I thought that the black sightings, it was one piece. Sorry, they're all square images. They're square. Sorry, yeah, they're all squares. So this is just the program putting black in. That is good point. Maybe the border would have helped. Yeah, no, that's, no, this is, this is great.

We know it now. You know, Colin got some fresh ink. I got the tiger thigh tattoo. Maybe another thigh tattoo over here of the In-N-Out logo. Likes. Then the arrows pointing right to my dick. And instructions on what to do if you ever. If I ever forget.

What the fuck? Should it put this upside down. What does burger mean? Sorry, we can't have said. All right. Next up. We have a darker shade of red, white, and an even darker shade. Something about this.

All of these look really bad when they're just like pulled out into color. Yeah, it's also disorienting. This is tougher than I expected. Mitch. Mitch. Pizza Hut? You're collecting more guesses. Is this Arby's?

Fuck. That's a really good guess. Arby's brown? No, they have like yellows and oranges. I can't remember. That purple brown is just weird. It's weird. I'm not good at this game at all.

I've seen this happen. I've seen like little shorts of this on YouTube shorts of this. Of people like doing games like this. And I was like, these are easy. Unless you maybe really made them hard. I have no idea. I didn't make them intentionally hard. I don't have a guess here.

I was also thinking that this is Pizza Hut. What is it? Chappole. Oh my God. That's the Chipotle Brown. The Chipotle Brown. Wow. How about that?

Chipotle Brown. This is impossible. Why's is still in the lead. With one. With one point. On the board. Next up. I heard Mitch first.

It's Subway. That is correct. Yeah, this is yellow, green, and white. As a former brand ambassador, this one was easy for you. you and your buddy. Up next. We just have green and white. Just two colors.

Starbucks. Okay. Panera. Oh, but that's gold, too. Yeah, again, I'm not good at this. I'll let Yiggs guess. Oh, no, I know what this is. You know what it is?

I think. Go for it. Hall of Garden. Let's give you the point. It is Panera. Oh, okay. Wow. I do think they're new.

I thought Panera had, oh, this is new. It's 2026. colors, I think their old logo did have some yellow. Yellow. They revamped it. The old one did. Yeah. They got rid of it.

It didn't look like the right green for Starbucks anyway. Starbucks is a darker green. All right. It's not up at one. Hey, we're all got up. We're all got a tie. We're all in Cullen are tied for first place.

And I got one too. What the fuck? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Everyone's the neck and bell. Beat off. Beat off.

Okay. Okay, here comes the next one. What the fuck? Oh, this is four colors. Yeah, this is four colors. Don't be alar by the... I think I have a guess on this one, and it's one that we already...

The difference as you're saying are not... Don't pay attention to the different sides. Because it was one line is particularly... The red and the darker red is particularly thick. There's a light red, a dark red, a white and a gray. I'm going to say Mitch Burger King, because I think that this might be Burger King now, but... Oh, man.

I don't know. I'll hear everyone else's guesses and then review. I mean, this... You know, I see... It sounds like I'm fine. wrong. This looks like the icy logo to me. Yeah, it does look like the icy logo to some degree.

Oh, I guess maybe that blues a little deeper, but I think that's a pretty good guess. Although, I'm guessing it's... I don't think that's what we're doing here. Not in the table for this. What the fuck is this? Crest toothpaste. Um, hmm. We'd say toothpaste as a food.

I'm going to go off the bean bath. I'm going to guess salt and straw ice cream. Is that everybody? Wait, did everyone? I don't think Colin. I'm going to say Wendy's because I don't know what it is. It was Jack in the box. Oh, Jack in the box.

Of course. The Tewtoned reds. Fuck me up. And the white having, it's like the box shadow. Yeah, the K has gray in the. Because I think it's supposed to be that this side of the box is in shadow. The dark side of the box. Yeah.

We're bad at this. Yeah, this is hard. Do you think this would be easier if it was like a pie chart where like the percentage of the color? Oh, probably. The, like, strip was the same. But I don't know if I ever would have gotten. Maybe. It could be.

I don't know if I would get Jack in the Box. I think if anything like this one, what's tricky? Because this feels like a recent, a semi-recent rebrand. I mean, wrong? It might be. I don't know because. The Panera one feels recent too. Panera one's definitely recent.

I saw a Jack-in-the-box sign out, like one of those huge signs that's been there for a while. And it looked just like this. So I've just never picked up on the blue there, the light blue, because that was definitely throwing me. Yeah. And I'm dumb. This is really opening my eyes. No, you're not. I haven't studied my logos in that.

I might have to open up a few neural pathways if you catch my drift. I guess I thought that was gray, but it does look blue here. So this... That looks great to me. This, this font that in the box font has changed in 2020, but the box logos changed to that in 2009. Okay, so that's been there for a while. There's one more.

The tie breaker. Wow. Tie breaker. Are we ready? I'm feeling we might be tied. Here comes. Mitch Oh, well, this is this France?

French fries It does look like a... Is this France or the Netherlands? I forget which one is... Is it flipped when it's France? Yeah, this is the French flag. Wow. So why do you point?

It's not France. It's not France. France is not a fast food. Mitch, I'm going to finally go with again Burger King. Except there's like, there's Brown and Burger King. It's not right. I just don't fucking know.

This is the thing because the blue could be like... The blue could be like the dot over an eye. You know what I mean? Like, it's hard to say how prominent each of these elements are in the logo. I'm trying to visualize it. I'm trying to visualize it. If no one gets a restaurant, right, can I get the point for France? Yes, absolutely.

Dairy Queen? Pretty good guess. Shit. It. Colin, you maybe just stole the game. Is it, it's, this isn't it,

but I'm going to guess at Chick-fil-A. Ready? The answer is Sonic. Oh, my God, you were wearing it on your shirt. But this is the thing, it's Sonic the Hedgehog.

Wait, so everybody tied. We tied. Yeah, here we go. It gets it for France. I went for France. Which you should be proud of me for knowing it was France. I think a new rule for this game

is if you guess France and no one gets it, you get a point. Like when I see it with the logo, I'm like, of course, but it's just it's a tough exercise. Can I quickly, can I quickly, you know, Amelia for just a moment? Yes.

That was so fucking hard. That was really hard. I think next time we do it, we should try doing it with like the, so that the colors are the percentages, so that if it is just a dot, it's just a little strip of blue, and I wonder if the ratios would help trigger like sense memory in some weird way.

It's a fun game, even though we really were bad at it. It is fun. It is fun. Maybe also starting with the gimmies. like subway up first, which is harder to figure out, but, you know, would have used us to say. Of course he gets the pedophile one

immediately. Hey, just like a restaurant, just like a restaurant to buy your feedback, let's up to the feedback. Today's email is from Blakster from Detroit. The Blakster writes, Hi, Doe Boys, Emma, Amelia, Casey.

Ooh, Hedgum's going to make us bleep that out. Jemmy, Wally, and Irma. People are... I don't know who, I don't know if Hagegum won't make us bleep out Wally and Irma. as well. Jemmy's not a real employee of headgum?

You would not be pleased with how Wally and Irma are spelled here. But an effort was made. People are always calling me a crazy maniac because he needed a glass of milk with a pastry cookie cake, basically any bready, sweet thing, or because I add milk to my cereal first and then add a handful of cereal to the bowl so I can control the level of desired sog. What are your most far-out food preferences? And do people call you out for this clearly deranged behavior?

Thanks for the great podcast. I can start, I've talked about this on the podcast before, and this is one that for some reason makes people angry. I don't peel string cheese. I take that bad boy out of the tube. I know this. And I just bite into it. I got things to do.

And I don't want to get cheese under my fingernails. I guess. You don't like cheese. There's something wrong with you in like what you, like cheese is not that hard to handle. Yes. Cheese is a problem for me. How's this? gonna eat you

I'm gonna eat you BST, Bertie Sweet thing Pretty good I wasn't sure what song it was till the end but then you really pulled it out there I didn't hear the question because I was thinking up that song. Pretty sweet thing.

It's how we eat something weird. What the hell? Oh, the TV wow. What did you say? What is the question? Is it breaded young? thing? Breddy sweet thing. Like Michael Jackson's P-white. Pretty sweet thing. Got it. Got it. Pretty young thing. Yeah, yeah, I get it.

I don't think, I don't know if you did. No, I did. I was just trying to think of what the next line would be. Oh, oh yeah. I'm trying to want you, KFC. That's good. That's good. I don't have one. What is it, is something you eat strange? Yeah, is there, is there an eating habit you have that is a far out food preference or far up behavior that, and it particularly if someone calls you out for it. I like to eat ice cream with tiny spoons, like smaller than normal spoons. That's fun.

Like borderline baby spoon. Like I have a little spoon and I like to eat ice cream with it. It started as a way to budget myself. But now it's just like a fun thing I like to do. So I have like little tiny spoons just. And I spit the chocolate chips out of mint chocolate chip into the bowl and then I keep spinning them out and then I eat them all at the end.

Yes, this is what we've talked about. That is horrifying. That is deranged. This question is just more for you. Nick and I have very boring. We don't, I feel like we don't. do anything too crazy as far as like eating it.

We eat like pigs. I like putting milkshakes in the freezer until they get thick enough to eat them with a spoon, which is like kind of weird. It's like freezing it back to ice cream, but I love it. Okay. I will eat, I've taught, this is maybe more of a brag, but brag, whatever.

But like I will eat like Cheetos with chopsticks. Oh, I do that a lot. Yeah. I don't get the fucking powder on my hands. That is not a brag to me, you dork. When I was a kid, I used to, one of the few things I would use as a kid was a cheese sandwich with honey on it. Oh, okay.

There we go. And people were like weirded out by that. But now I'm like, oh, I was like kind of a little gourmet. Like it's a little charcutory board or something. That's like a common dessert, like cheese and honey. Yeah. Like charcuttery board yet. And then I will take a skittle and press it into a starburst sometimes.

I like that. You know, I'm realizing I have something akin to not as gross, but akin to what Amelia does with my Oreo eating practice. which is that, you know, sometimes I'll just eat them like a cookie, but a lot of times I'll unscrew them, I'll scrape off the cream with my bottom teeth, and then I'll eat each of the cookies individually. I think you are insane. That's the most normal thing ever.

Okay, well, then never mind. I think Oreo, like, is, like, advertises that. I don't think that's that crazy. Then I don't know. I don't know what to fucking say. The way first, though, are just not as good. Yeah, they're not as good. That's my only issue with it.

I got no, like, people think eggs, like ketchup on eggs is weird. That's like, that's as weird as I get with that sort of stuff. I don't really, I don't have, I eat like a pig. What's that? You don't eat before flights. I don't eat before flights. It's not turned into a huge fight. I do not eat before flights.

Which I still stand. I told you I broke my rule when I was, uh, when I, when I flew home for, uh, for, for the holidays. Did you have to shit on the plane? No, but with Zep bound, you never know when you're going to shit. Oh, interesting. And it's in on that, and let me tell you on what's, what's the, who's his name? The scale. The Kinsey scale.

The Bristol. Bristol scale. It's never, it's never a healthy. It's never looks like that healthy. There's days, there, there's days where it comes out a little snake like. Yeah. I play a little. Maybe Zep.

Maybe Zep. Like, maybe that's with a Zep and Zep Bound. But, uh, but no, I didn't, I didn't have to go to the bathroom, which is kind of a plus side with the Zep bound. It, uh, it slows things down a little bit. And then other times it's really bad. Yeah. But, uh, I don't, I don't have to, have weird I don't have weird eating things I don't I think my weirdest I mean I like really like

vinegar and when I used to get subway a lot I would do a subway I would do turkey and Swiss toasted and with just onions and vinegar that's what I would do for my sandwich and like that's the weirdest I feel like I would get which is not that weird right I don't think the uh you know it's not normal but the cereal thing that the person talks about is like kind of a smart way to eat cereal yeah I get that I understand strategy there I like a little a little soggy cereal. I mean, this might be a future episode we talk about.

I have used mustard as salad dressing. Like just straight mustard. But that's, I mean, I do think that's more in a cage. I think I made fun of you for that. But, but like,

then you said a lot of dressings are mustard-based anyways. Right. I don't know. Look, but Deis, you have all the weird shit you do. You probably have another one. Save us,

please. You put your chicken little in the fridge, which I thought was nasty. Well, I ended up eating it. I was going to save it for later. What else do I have? I don't know. I eat pubs.

Yeah, I got one for you. That's the most normal thing in the world. I have one for you. An amuse, boosh, bush. Amuse Bush. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedback at BirdFuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-0-8304-6-844.

Producers Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer is Emilie Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. We got merch at kinshipgoods. slash doughboys. And hey, to get the Do Boys double our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Also, all of our live shows are available at birdfuck.com slash live.

We are going all over the country this year. So come check us out if we're going to be in your region. Come fight us. The beatoff is happening. The beat off is happening. Stay for the beat off after the show. Colin Crawford. And check out Strip Law, which premieres February 20th on Netflix.

Cullen Crawford. Thanks so much for being here. Please plug away. Yes, please. Watch Strippa on Netflix. Basically, anyone who's ever been a guest on this show has done a voice on it, like truly all your favorites, including, who's not a guest, but Mitch does some voices, including a character named Egbert the Murder Pervert.

And I did want to give you a little compliment, Mitch. Please, I would love to. We brought in Mitch late when we were making the show, and I was just like, can you just do like a bunch of like sort of crowd reaction, Walla? And it is some of the funniest shit. It's like Castellanetto level like, oh, the taxes, like, you know that. It's like, it's so good, man. That's very awesome.

Well, the show is very, what I saw of the show in the room that day was very, very funny. Yeah. Oh, I guess I should say things about it. It's about lawyers in Vegas, Adam Scott, Janelle, James, Stephen Root, Shannon Hazzella, Keith David. What a cast. It's like an incredible cast. They're so awesome. And it's just like machine gun of jokes.

If you like jokes, remember when shows you used to have jokes in them? Yeah, I love jokes. We got jokes in the show. So please check it out and please give it two thumbs up on Netflix, which is apparently a very important thing. Give it the double thumbs up on Netflix. Yeah. You would think our show would have some jokes.

But no, no. We guess colors of rush. But it's all real. We guess colors. Did you spend any time in Vegas? Like how much is it anchored in real Vegas in terms of? That's a nice little write-off to Netflix. In terms of coming up.

Any money I spend in Vegas is a business expense. It's pretty dope. It's like inspired by Vegas, but it's more impressionist. It's like more what it feels like. But it definitely came from going to Vegas and seeing a lot of billboard lawyers and being like, I want to play in the world of like these guys. And so it's like, yeah, it's a lawyer showcase of the week, but really silly and really funny and maybe little to no attention paid to being how like it actually works. Like we know nothing. I know it's hard to list out all the guest stars off the done.

Dome, but like you mentioned some Doughboy's guests who are on. You guys love Gaboris. Yeah, Gabris is on there? Carl Tart is on there. Wow. Drew Tarver. Oh, my God. Paul Rust.

A woman, presumably, is on the show. No, I'm just drawn dead. Betsy Sedaro's on it. Truly, the list is so huge. Yeah, that's awesome. And shout out to my old management company, Artists First, who almost never told me that. They didn't know they didn't represent Mitch when we reached out to them.

So thank you, my old management company, for almost losing me work. Which would be the only, that's the only time they've ever moved the meter in any direction. But, yeah, they sat on it for a very long time, which is a great. And you thought that I was ignoring it, which I never was very. Yeah, I really was like, well, Miss really doesn't want to come on this stuff. Not the case at all. I hope that that's not the case for anyone else out there if you think I don't reply to stuff, which I don't in many ways, but not intentionally. But a super funny show

A murderer's show And it's such a funny guy And such a funny writer And I'm really really excited for this Are we getting all the episodes on the 20th? February 20th All 10 episodes are awesome People check that out on Netflix

Everyone's got Netflix And also check out F1 Which you and I saw together in 4DX You don't need to check out F1 As a 4DX movie Kind of fun Kind of fun No I didn't like it

I didn't mind F1 I think F1, like, the height of engineering, these cars are so smooth. And this thing's jerking me around while a car is smoothly moving. I didn't like it. That's also, you guys were sitting in the row in front of me, and I was sitting next to a lady, and I kept turning her water on. And she had to be like, hey, your water's on the other side. I was like, I'm not getting, like, squirted with water.

And then she was like, you're, like, turning my water on. That's true. Some random lady that I was sitting next. So watch trip while turn on people's water at F1. She's getting power washed. Strip block, Cullen Crawford. Check it out. Give you a two thumbs up.

Two thumbs up on Netflix. And hey, four for KFC and check us out when we come to your town. And I'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. No next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Tiger Wire. Happy eating. See ya. Hi, I'm Drew Offalo.

And I'm Jason Offoalo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving,

and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday. That was a HeadGum podcast.