Doughboys - Krispy Kreme with Matt Besser

Episode Date: January 28, 2016

Mitch and Wiger welcome Matt Besser (Upright Citizens Brigade, improv4humans) to discuss donut chain and southern institution Krispy Kreme. Plus, Besser takes on Mitch's 4-1 record in the Wiger Challenge.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 1809, Washington Irving, the American author and essayist best known for the short story Rip Van Winkle, published his History of New York. In the book, a passage describes, quote, balls of sweetened dough fried in hogs fat and called doughnuts, arguably the earliest known usage of the term. The sweet fried flour treats became an American staple over the next century and a half, and in 1934 an enterprising teenager named Vernon Rudolph and his uncle Ishmael Armstrong opened a doughnut shop of their own in Nashville, Tennessee. The curiously named eatery survived the Great Depression and thrived in its aftermath, expanding

throughout the South and then, in the 1990s, into the rest of the US. However, the turn of the 21st century saw turmoil as overly aggressive expansion led to market saturation and a wildly optimistic IPO was followed by cratering stock prices, notable even in the internet bubble era of pets.com. Still Americans kept coming back and the chain fought through that setback to continue serving its hot now dessert for breakfast. Now with over 1,000 locations, this doughnut shop has gone from being a fixture of the American South to having a presence throughout North and Central America, Asia, Australia,

and the Middle East. This week on Doughboys, Krispy Kreme. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger alongside my co-host, Mike Mitchell, the Spoon Man. How you doing, Spoon Man? Doing well. Just want to give a shout out to Spoon Nation. Howdy ho!

What? Okay! Well, it's not special. Victory is mine. Howdy ho indeed. So, you followed up the recorded Howdy ho with your own Howdy ho. Yeah. Alright, have a fine with that.

You know, actually... I'm truly embarrassed in front of one of my mentors. Well, you know, on that note, Mitch, before we go any further, I'd just like to say a little shout out of my own to the Burger Boy Brigade. And hello, what's the other thing you say to all the monster squatters out there? Hide all the monster squatters. What the fuck? Are you serious?

You ripped my idea? I could have my own drops. Oh my god, this is pathetic. I feel like an asshole that didn't bring any drops. That's what half this show is at this point. Yeah. We're just playing recordings up top. 15 minutes of drops right there.

You fucker! I can't believe this. Well, get used to it. Hey, maybe we'll start looking the Celtics. No, that won't happen. At least get fat again. Yeah, that actually probably will happen. That's already started to happen with this podcast.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It really started to happen with this podcast.

About six months in, I've put on probably 10 to 15 pounds. Oh. I don't know if that's just from this podcast. It might also be from work in general, but I've gained a little. I regained a little of the weight that I was in my fighting weight of maybe 170. I'm probably up around 185 now. People are talking. They don't think it was funny anymore.

Yeah. Let's introduce our guest here at his voice a couple of times. One of the founders of the Upright Citizens Brigade, the host of the podcast Improv for Humans. Matt Bessers here. Hi, Matt. Hey, guys. I'm coming in.

Have you gained or lost weight through this mic? Gained weight. Really? I'm off. Yeah. I'm pretty bad. I need to lose weight. Are you at your peak?

I'm not at my peak, but I'm close to my peak. What was your... What are you at your heaviest? God knows. I'm not going to reveal that on this fucking podcast. It was bad. Yeah. But was that in your football days or your crew days or you were at least that?

No. I'm probably... It was probably nine months ago. Wow. Crew as in canoe crew? Yeah. Crew as in canoe crew in college. You do not look like a crew guy.

I was not a crew guy. You're the guy that shouted everyone? No, no, because I would be way too happy the boat would tip up if I was the coxswain, as they call it. Coxswain. I did crew to get myself in shape for the first two years of college and it was a... You know, I met a couple good guys, didn't love all the crew guys. You have to get up really early in the morning, right?

Yeah, for like two weeks out of the year. I did it mostly because I went to college feeling like I fuck up. I went to high school feeling like I fuck up and then I went to college being like, I'm going to fuck up and fail. St. Charles? Ithaca. I went to Ithaca. We're all the birthday boys.

What's St. Charles? Well, that's the... Isn't that the river that goes in Boston? Oh, the Charles River. Just the Charles. I never rode on the Charles. I never got the chance to. And I'm not that bad about it.

That's where the championship's at or something, right? Yeah, the head of the Charles is like the big rowing. That's like the big race everyone likes. I never rode in that because I kind of sucked at crew. But I did that for two years to kind of keep myself in check a little bit. It was good. I lost weight, looked like a bobblehead doll because I got under like 200 pounds, which for me was kind of was big.

That's my peak. 200? 196. Yeah. That's not bad as peaks go because you're a tall man. That was probably the lightest I was as an adult. And I was in good shape, but I just... It was too much.

I mean, because it was... You had to do it both semesters and it was just hard to do other stuff, but it maybe helped me from failing out of school possibly because I wanted thinking I was gonna fuck up. Wow. Yeah. Were you an athlete in your younger days at all, Besser? In high school, I fancied myself a good soccer player,

but I was from Little Rock, Arkansas. The South where there's two sports or football and basketball. Sure. And if you weren't good enough or big enough to play those, you played this new sport, soccer. And it was very kind of new at that point. But we went to state and we were always one or two in Little Rock. And when I went to Amherst College, I thought I was really good.

Actually, when I would go up and visit the colleges, and this is before YouTube, so for all the coaches knew I was good. They thought I was good and I thought I was good. And I would have the coach give me a tour of the facilities and everything. And I really was some kind of basing which school I went to on that. And I ended up going to Amherst College, good division three soccer team. And it's probably the first day of school.

Somebody said, let's go down to the field and play soccer. And I was like, great. And all these guys ran down there. And I was looking around at these guys going, where are these football players running down? Where are they running down the field? And then all of a sudden I learned, oh, they're soccer players. And soccer players have muscles here and they check you and shit.

I don't think I'd ever been body checked playing soccer before. And I got my ass kicked and it took me like a week to realize, oh, I'm not very good at soccer at all. And then I played JV and I sat the bench for JV. And I was like, fuck this. And then I discovered weed so that all happened in my freshman year. And I attended athletics. I was the only guy who on the crew team,

like with smoking cigarettes and smoking weed every day. That's because I couldn't drink as much, which in your freshman sophomore year, I feel like it's harder to get your hands on it, at least for me it was. But then I would just smoke weed and smoke cigarettes all the time. So I was terrible, obviously. I had the wrong crew.

But I did it to lose some weight and probably get some more confidence and maybe get some girls, which was also a disaster. It didn't really work. Girls like crew guys? No, no, no. Just so I could lose, like get in shape and feel more confident about myself. But it didn't really... Girls like funny guys, Mike.

I know. Well, it took me a while to figure that out. I still don't really know. Do you have a girlfriend? No. Okay. Oh, boy. Ladies.

Bitch is doing okay. Shout. You mentioned weed. And I know you're something of... Is pothead still the term? Is that what people still say? That sounds derogatory. You're an aficionado.

You're an aficionado. You like marijuana. What is your... Do you have like a... Are you someone who gets the munchies? Do you have a snack of choice when you smoke out? You know what? I think that's only for people who do it every once in a while.

The munchies, per se. Gotcha. And actually, since I've had a daughter, I haven't even smoked pot as much as I used to. But I think it does... It obviously increases your appetite. But I don't get that uncontrollable thing. Probably since college. But college was fucking nuts and embarrassing.

I remember some... This dude had... This Jewish dude had a bin of kosher popcorn where it has like the four different flavors. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. And one flavor he had not eaten because it was gross. I don't even know what it was. Spicy popcorn or something.

And it just sat in his closet for like six months and he didn't eat it. And I remember just going in and begging him to eat the part of the popcorn, the stale popcorn that he didn't eat. People looking at me like I'm a fucking animal. Once in my friend's dorm, this was my first year in college, we got... And I didn't... Even in college, I didn't get high very often. And when I did get high, I got...

I really felt it. But we were like... We got stoned. And for some reason, we put on American History X, I remember. Like watching that on VHS. Also, you should disclose that you were smoking PCP. Yeah. But then like, you know, some time passed and we were hungry as hell.

So we went over and we drove to a Ralph's. We got the idea. Like we want some seven layer dip and we went to the Ralph's and like they had the prefab seven layer dip. We were like, now we want to make our own. So we bottled the ingredients for it. And then we went back to a dorm room that didn't even have a kitchen at. And we, you know, we're just like making this on the floor on the carpet, the seven layer dip.

And then we made each like... We made each layer like an inch and a half thick. So like the whole thing altogether was like a foot high. It was just like all wildly out of proportion. And we're trying to eat it and we're like, this sucks. So my friend, Sean, took a big wooden spoon and just stirred it all up into a big brown mess. It was just fucking disgusting. It's fucking awful.

And then he took the chips and then just dumped them into it and then like made it into like the cereal. Casserole. Yeah, this little casserole that we were just eating with utensils. It was disgusting. Now that's what it's going to look like eventually anyway. Yeah, I guess so. I had a friend, his nickname was Dank. So he smoked a lot of weed if you can tell by his nickname.

And he would bring in apples and peanut butter. And that was when we smoked weed. That's healthy. We eat apples and peanut butter and then we'd eat crackers and cheese a lot too is the other one I can remember. It's very responsible. And watch the Chappelle show to give you a time frame. But for me more so, I've always had the hunger in me comes out after I've been drinking. Not smoking.

Like if I get drunk or if I have a few drinks, that's where I really, really get hungry. I agree with that. Yeah. I'll go in. I just did that this weekend at Sketch Fast. Oh yeah. 2 a.m. Middle Eastern food. Yeah.

I think that's the worst for me. And I'll always buy more than I could ever eat. I'll go, I just go crazy. Yeah, why not? Yeah. I feel like munchies are more, it's more when you're drunk. Yeah. Why does it have, so why is the munchies stigma, why is that a fix to weed when I think you're,

I think it is more of a universal thing that when people get fucked up, then your body's craving shitty food. And then that's when you're eating like the terrible Denny's meal at 3 a.m. Well, it definitely, it cures nausea. It is a good thing for people who need that like chemo or whatever. Sure. It does help that for sure. Yeah. I can't explain it scientifically, but it does.

Yeah, that's true. If you're, if you're, I remember being really hungover and sometimes doing it would be helpful. Sometimes I'll go to a party to chemo and all I can eat. Got to get high on me. How about back in the day, this is the dorkiest question I apologize in advance. When you were writing the UCB show, did you guys ever have some late night? Oh, that's adorable, bitch. You know, you ever, you ever get some late night food because you were in New York City, right?

That's true. And back to me being in San Francisco, we were in this area of town where we were wandering around. It was a few of us comics. And after 2 a.m., everything was shut down. It was such a bummer. We were going to Sam's Burgers next time. And we were yelping it. But we had to walk to whatever it was.

And we finally found this place and he wasn't even supposed to be open. He like made a deal with us basically. Man. But yeah, that's one of the great things about New York. You can find good food any time of day. I'll tell you, I can't remember. No, I don't have any UCB food memories, but that was a time in my life where I was a lot skinnier. And I would sit down and eat a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream just about every night.

And it didn't affect my body at that point for some reason. That's impressive. Thank you. I feel like I've always... If I have ice cream, even when I was like 20 or something, it couldn't be... I mean, it was probably a lot more, but it couldn't be more than once a week or once every couple of weeks. Yeah. Well, I've talked before about my childhood eating habits and all those were kind of like crazy in retrospect.

But one of the things about it was my family, we would have dessert every night. We would have a dinner and then some time would pass and then we'd have a dessert before bed. Like every single night. And a lot of times it was ice cream and like a bowl, like three or four scoops of ice cream. That's just such a strange... Again, I just thought that was what people do in America. That was just my upbringing, but it was like such a crazy amount of sugar I was just putting into my bloodstream right before I slept for eight hours and then went to school the next morning.

That's what I did tonight with our restaurant. Well, before we get into that... So, you're from Arkansas, lived in New York for a time, lived in LA now, certainly. What is the... Were there any food... Do you have any foods from Arkansas or foods from New York that you can't get out here that you miss or that you crave or when you return you make sure to make a special trip for it? Yeah.

Well, Arkansas, it's barbecue and a lot of people from the South will tell you that the barbecue from their area is the best. And I'm not an expert to know all the differences, but I did do a tour from the South like five years ago. And this guy, Will Cleveland and I, were making a point of always hitting barbecue restaurants just so we could tell the difference and see who had the best one. We tried to find the best one in every town we passed through. But I have not found good barbecue here and even there's one on Ventura. I can't remember what it's called, some barrel or something that people are like, it's the best. And I went there and I'm like, no, it's not.

It's completely mediocre. So I'm kind of a snob about that. I do remember going to a barbecue restaurant right when I moved to New York and talk about being embarrassed for your mentors. There was this magazine called Spy Magazine. Is that ringing bell with you? Oh, I remember Spy, sure. Yeah. So at the time, it was like the coolest place for writers to be a part of.

It was like what National Ampune used to be in the 70s or whatever. So early 90s, mid 90s, it was the place to be. And a friend of mine was like the youngest guy in the totem pole there. And he was like, we're going to go to this, I think, was it Dallas barbecue in New York? It doesn't matter. But we went to this barbecue place and it was with all the stud spy writers. And I was trying to be funny and make an impression. So when it came my time to order barbecue, I also fancied myself.

It's never hot enough for me. So they had those different levels of spiciness. And I got the hottest level and it came to me and I was barely talking because no one knew me. I was just only my friend and brought me the dinner. And I bit into, it was probably a pork sandwich and it was so fucking hot that I started to tear up and I couldn't eat another bite and no one was even noticing me. But it was one of those things where like, holy fucking shit, I got to do something about that.

At this point, I didn't know the milk trick. Do you know the milk trick? Oh yeah, that's big. Milk just takes it away immediately. It's fucking crazy. But I was doing the thing you're not supposed to do, which is drink water because it spreads it down your tongue. And I was just chugging water until one of the writers noticed it and went, hey, you couldn't

handle that fire engine, whatever the spice was called. No, he's like, just have a shot of milk and you'll be cool. I just totally fucking embarrassed myself trying to show off. And then New York, it has to be the Chinese food. I feel like the Chinese food, or at least the American version of Chinese food is way better in New York than I've experienced here in LA. I think there's a couple of restaurants I found here that are pretty good, but in general, it's pretty terrible.

I think I've ranted about that. Maybe on the podcast before. Yeah, this is a little bit of a point of contention. You go on. I'm with you. I think East Coast Chinese food, the type you're talking about, you can get good Chinese food out here. Don't get me wrong.

But the kind of Americanized Chinese food that you're talking about is so much better on the East Coast to me than it is over here. Yeah. In San Francisco, you can get good Chinese food. I think you can get good Chinese food. I think if you go a little east to Monterey Park, that area, there's some really good Chinese restaurants. They're great.

I got to go to another fucking county. Yeah. Chinese food. But I think there is a divide between, again, what you guys are saying of the Americanized Chinese food. And I think a lot of Asian Americans prefer the stuff you can get out here. I think it's a little different than what your expectations might be if you're going to one of those Queens or Brooklyn or whatever fucking burl all the Chinese restaurants are

in New York. I went to some Chinese food place in San Francisco years ago with the UCB, and I remember us. We're like, tell us where the best one is, and we went to it, and I couldn't eat it. Like it was gross to me. Sure. It's the way American soul food is. It was like, ugh, I can't handle this. I'm sure it's good, but it does not meet what I'm used to.

I just don't love the Chinese food. I won't get into it with you again, but it's just, it's all might as well be Panda Express to me, which I don't, whatever. That's the worst. Yeah. I mean, whatever, and that's even, I give them, I'm okay with Panda Express because it is like a fast food restaurant. That's one of the grossest fast food restaurants to me.

I've thought about this, because I think Panda Express, this isn't the Panda Express episode, we'll give it its own episode, but I think Panda Express is legitimately, I agree with you that it's legitimately disgusting and just kind of like low tier food. Because it's also sitting there. It's sitting there. It's sitting in like these big buffet bins, and it's just like all these goopy sauces, and it's overly sweet. Everything tastes kind of chemically, and I feel like if Panda Express ever launched

a breakfast menu, that would be the grossest thing you could get in fast food. Oh my God. Why are you thinking of that? Well, I'm just like, it would be so, just like the idea of adding eggs, like fast food quality eggs to their like fucking, you know, their Kung Pao pork or their orange chicken would just be such like a layer of, it would just be so gross. And it's bad enough like in the strip malls where they're found now. And then you go to an airport where it goes to, airports give you a whole other level

of grossness to every franchise, so that's probably the worst place to eat Chinese foods Panda Express at the airport. It's one thing of that airport Cinnabon at the airport Burger King, like it's not quite as good, but Panda Express you're playing with there. I got, I know someone who loves Panda Express, Koalic. Matt Koalic, our guest role from the Domino's episode, yeah. He loves Panda Express. We get a lot of calls for Koalic, the fans want Koalic back, I think we'll, we'll have

one again. Sorry to break it to you fans. You're afraid he'll push Panda Express too much. He would definitely give me five forks, I know he loves Panda Express. He's a, that's our dumb fork ranking. Five forks. Yeah, five forks. Why isn't it spoons?

I thought you were the spoon man. Well spoon man's like my own thing, it's kind of like a way of life. The timeline is such that we developed, we developed the fork system before Mitch appointed himself the spoon man, so in terms of the lore of the Doughboys podcast. Maybe we should start giving stuff spoons. No, I don't know. He's getting, he'll get very mad at me if I start giving stuff spoons. Did you ever think, because I had you as a, you taught me sketch.

You're not going to bring up the fucking pie sketch again, are you? Oh no. You know, this is why I'll never teach sketch again, because you give some guy, you tell them you don't like a scene and they just, all they want is to make that scene happen for the rest of their life. I did not write that. I did not write that on my face. That was, that was a birthday boy sketch, but I did not write that sketch.

I took your class twice, Nick did you ever take, I took Bessar's class, yeah, I took an improv class and a sketch class for Bessar. The thing that stands out to me is you got mad at me, you got mad at me once for calling you professor Bessar. Did you do it without irony? Yeah, I think so. And then another time, I came into the room and you were supposed to put the sketches up on the table in front of you.

You make me seem like a school mom. No, this is my fault. I put the sketch on the table and they all fell off the table and so I had to pick up all the sketches and put them back up on the table and then I walked backwards to my seat which is a folding chair and I sat on my folding chair seat and I like thought I would sit into it, but I didn't and my arms started flailing. I remember that. Like a fucking Luke Costello.

I fell into the seat and I was very embarrassed and then on top of that all, Pika, God bless her. My dog? Your dog came under my seat, I swear to God this is true and she farted under my seat. You're going to blame my dead dog for your fart. Is that why you brought me here? I swear to God. I'm not a bullshit.

She's not even here to defend herself. I swear to God Pika went under my seat and farted and it was the class, you remember there was a whole line of like, the row behind me was like a whole line of funny comedy women. I forget who, I don't know if it was like, if like Lenin was in the class or like it was like. TNFA. It was all these really, really talented comedians and I was like this chubby guy and I swear to God.

I thought you were doing stick. They thought I was doing stick and they thought I farted and it was Pika and I couldn't, I didn't even know what to say. I was the most, one of the most embarrassing days of my life probably. What kind of, just real quick to paint a picture, what kind of fart are we talking? It was just like a loud fart or something. It's been silent and smelling. Yeah, silent and smelling.

Okay. Dog, dog, it was a dog, it was definitely, it was a dog fart, I swear to God. I did, you know what, I probably, I may not be out of your good graces with this one because I remember in third grade I pulled a, I pulled a little stunt of my own where I was sitting next to, right behind a heavy kid and one day he farted and I also had to fart and so he farted and during the aftermath of his fart, I farted and then blamed that second fart on him and it worked. Oh my God, who's this kid's name?

I, his name was Danny, I don't remember his last name. I think it was Danny but yeah, he was like kind of a heavy set kid and so like he farted and never was laughing at him, I farted and then I was like, I was like, oh it still smells and then I was like, ah, and like made fun of him some more. Well, fuck you for thinking I'd be offended by that, you've offended the tribesmen of mine. Have you ever been at a show, because this has happened probably two or three times at ASCAT through the years where an audience member will fart really loud, have you ever

heard that? No. It's so fucking funny, it's not like a play where you can't stop, you can fucking stop and ASCAT and acknowledge that. I've never, I never try to go to the bathroom at a theater, that's a tough thing to... That's a nasty toilet. It is a nasty toilet, Neil Campbell who was on the podcast, a rat jumped on his shoulder one day.

Ah, Jesus Christ. You never heard of that story? What a nightmare. That sounds like a Disney movie. It gave me a mission. Bessar, on the note of the theater, so I feel like in some sense the UCB, like as a theater, it's kind of paralleled the arc of some of these chain restaurants, like, you know, similar to Carl Karcher had his one hot dog cart and it was this small thing that exploded into

this big franchise. Kind of the UCB theater's kind of done the same thing of like it was kind of this small, like underground thing and now it's like this, you got, was it five theaters on two coasts? You've got, or is it four theaters? If you count two within sunset, I guess it's fine. Two within sunset, but call it four and then there's the school, there's this touring company, like as, I don't know if you call yourself a business owner, but whatever capacity you consider yourself attached to the UCB, like, what are the challenges as you've seen this

like small little thing grow into this larger, you know, burgeoning empire, like, what are like kind of the challenges you see in this, the scalability of that? Well, it's funny you say that because I've always said we're a 300 person ensemble and that's because even if you don't know every single person at the theater, at least most of us know what finding the game means and respect that as a philosophy and I think it makes it easy to write with other people and improvise with other people within the theater, which you might not necessarily happen if you improvise with someone from second city or ground, etc.

So that's what I've always liked about it and that that philosophy keeps it small in a way and what's made it necessary both on the East Coast, we open the UCB East and here with sunset was the people, the vets, the first generation hasn't gone away, you know, and they still have their shows and they still want to perform Facebook or whatever show it happens to be. But yet there's always new people coming in that need more space and we had to open up that second theater here if we hadn't, I don't know what it would happen because we had so many tentpole shows that were just never going to go away.

There was barely any room for new people in less room for any kind of experimentation and weird shows so that that's what I look at the sunset as being is now there's a place for experimentation the same with UCB East so I don't even look at it as franchising or like I don't see the sunset as being the same as Franklin, I see it as an opportunity for the theater to be better and I don't see them as two different theaters, I see them as just one theater in two different locations or two theaters in two different locations. I see the East Coast and West Coast are separate but I feel like within the city you don't look at some people, you don't think of yourselves as, well we're a Franklin team and those guys

are a sunset team, right, you know, you're just the theater. But oddly enough through the years several times people have wanted to buy us out or partner with us including a big comedy club chain which is a franchise and did want us to franchise throughout the US and we thought that would have broken the spirit of what the theater is about we believe that it would be hard in some of these smaller cities where they wanted us to franchise to find the talent pool you'd need to support an improv sketch community, it's easier to do that with stand-up because you can have three stand-ups to an entire night, fill an entire night at a stand-up club but think about our theater, there's

probably 50 people on stage during one night at our theater so we just didn't think that would be possible, there's one more city we're thinking about which would be London but outside of that we don't think of ourselves as going to any place else, we used to flirt with Austin but now they've, way back in the day we used to think about that because we love that city but it seems like they've got their own scene going and plenty of theaters don't really need us. Can you try to open that London theater and send Nick as the AD over there, why he was still in there?

I just want him out of the US if possible, there's that funny thing of like, and I wonder how you'd feel about this, I love the fact that more people know about UCB that there's been so many talented people that I've seen have so many great rises and then the old cranking me is like, well I had to find UCB when I was younger, when I first came out here LA at least had just opened and then now it's become kind of like a path for a lot of people I feel like where it's like you go to school and you study screenwriting or acting and then you go to UCB and take classes, how do you feel about that? Well, something we've been thinking about in the last couple of years is making it more

and more difficult to go through the levels because it used to be you pretty much could go out through all four levels if you're just willing to pay but knowing how we felt back in Chicago where taking classes when you get to more advanced levels you don't, this might sound harsh but you don't want to be with mediocre performers, you want to always be on stage with someone who is as good as you are better so you're challenging yourself and not slowing yourself down. So even this year, even the last meeting we had about this summer we were like we've got to make the fourth level really hard, it's like getting into an Ivy school it's got to be that kind of difficulty. So yeah, I think everybody, it is kind of like

a thing agents say you got to go take classes at UCB and everyone probably should take a first level at UCB or at least somewhere. If you're going to be an actor I think it's a stupid skill to ignore. Even if you don't want to be a comedian it's a good skill to have if you want to be an actor but as you move up in the second, third, fourth level and into the extracurricular levels it is more difficult and more challenging and I think you have to earn your way so I don't think it affects it. If you're saying like everyone does it so it waters it down, I hope we're fighting that trend but making it more difficult like that. For sure, yeah. And we also could expand Herald teams, we've pretty much had the same amount of Herald teams since the beginning.

Like I think maybe we had six, now we have eight or whatever it was but we could, there's other theaters that have 12, 16 Herald teams and that's just going to make those teams mediocre. So yeah, that's another thing we try to do is make that a tight ship. Let's get it, I feel like if Nick were to take classes now he wouldn't get past level one. You guys stop fighting. Is there, just on the food note of UCB because this is a new thing, the UCB sunset, you get the inner sanctum, there's some food there, some salads and then also there's a little difference between the New York and LA. I think it's a lot easier to get a beer and wine or a liquor license in New York because there's alcohol at the New York theater, no alcohol at the LA theater.

But do you have any thoughts on the, do you have any thoughts on the beer and wine over in New York or any of the food items at the UCB inner sanctum? Do you have any input on that? Well in New York, we've always won everything to be super affordable and that's, I don't know if we still have Papsley Ribbon which is like the shittiest beer available but I'm pretty sure that's what our beer is in New York but we always just wanted, our shows are free, five dollars and we didn't want our beer to then reflect a whole other kind of socio-economic class. Yeah, you don't need a stone IPA that's six dollars a bottle. Right, so we, at UCB East I think we do have some good beer these days but we also have very affordable beer and if you know anything about

buying a beer in New York you can buy a beer for 12 bucks in some bars you know and we'll never be that so and also comedy clubs just have a true reputation of the two drink minimum and that's where they really gouge you, they'll let you in for free but then you're paying 30 bucks for two drinks or something and we were never going to do that to you and it's also no minimum at all, of course you don't have to drink but so it's more, the spirit of it is just drinking and comedy have gone hand in hand throughout comedy history so it is nice to have it there but as you say it's really hard to get a liquor license in LA so I don't know if that'll ever happen. I've had the food at Sunset and the things I've had at Sunset for the food were good, I enjoyed it. It was healthy,

that was important to someone, I don't remember that discussion myself but we do have this cater who makes good food that's also not trashy food, that's what I've been told. I'm not sure I can tell the difference. Well let's get the food that's definitely trashy, Krispy Kreme. So Besser, Krispy Kreme was one of the places you suggested or you wanted to talk about. What is your, I imagine from the south you've got some connection to it but what is your history with Krispy Kreme? Well it's weird because I did the research today a little bit, I did go to Wikipedia and I didn't really know about it till the 90s and I grew up with this, everybody had Dunkin Donuts I feel, I feel that's the biggest donut chain right? Yeah. But we had this this chain called

Shipley's, have you ever heard of it? No. Probably it's just a southern thing but and when I looked it up today it's like a year older than Krispy Kreme. I think Krispy Kreme's 37 and and Shipley's started in 36 but that was what my family went to and that was really great donut and then I probably didn't think about donuts too much until I went to college and I can't remember when I discovered Krispy Kreme but whenever it was it was the smell it's just something about you can, I mean all donut shops smell great but I feel like you can just smell it a fucking mile away and you want it and they melt in your mouth whereas I'm not sure, I think I read it something about what they do at the yeast or something but

it fucking just melts in your mouth the way other donuts don't and even I like it more than the Shipley's I grew up with I like it much better than Dunkin Donuts. Most donuts if you don't get them right after they're made they kind of go stale especially as the day goes along and I feel Krispy Kreme holds up pretty well throughout a 24-hour period takes the next day till it's starting to get stale. I'll give them that for sure I think I think they do hold up really well as far as donuts go. And when they're hot off the press is forget it you just fucking jam those. Yeah there is something to my oddly my first two experiences with Krispy Kreme because I'm from Southern California and they would they expanded here late in fact I don't even think it was until

the 2000s when they're in Krispy Kreme's that I could go to but my first experience was my first two experiences were tied to like movies of a very specific era one I went to see Fantasia 2000 with my parents and we got Krispy Kreme donuts beforehand that was the first time I had them. 2000 is that just an update of the original one? Yeah it was a weird like reboot that I think has kind of been forgotten where they did they played a few of the existing shorts but then they also had some new shorts with new music so they had like a new one to Stravinsky's The Firebird Suite that was like an entirely new animation they had one to Gershwin's what Rhapsody in Blue I think they had a Rhapsody in Blue animation that was pretty cool but it was a weird thing we saw it

like in an IMAX and we had Krispy Kreme ahead of time and I was like oh this is pretty good but then the second time I went to see The Cell with some friends the JLo film that also who's Vincent Donafrio's in it and they dice a horse up it's like a really fucked up weird surreal movie but we went to see we saw The Cell and then afterwards that was my first time I had that hot now the fresh glazed donut at the Krispy Kreme and it really is a vastly different experience like it's really like when you get those hot Krispy Kreme donuts it's so distinct from the ones that kind of been sitting there which are still good and edible but just the warmth of something that's been freshly made is just like there aren't a lot of chains that offer that specific experience

the thing is it's not like Krispy Kreme always has that like sometimes you'll go in there they don't have any any hot ones ready and that's just a whole thing and we're talking about just the what would they call it the original the original glazed yeah the original glazed because they have every kind of donut obviously but I don't think of the other donuts being special if they're hot as a matter of fact maybe they aren't as good if they're hot but there's something about the original glaze that uh is just extra special when it's hot and off the presses they do kind of just dissolve like you were saying they're they're just like it's it's its own thing and I and I think you're saying you got sick eating them tonight they are the thing I will eat those until

I get sick yeah I cannot help myself and even though I know I shouldn't have any more I keep eating it they're they're very they're because I'm from Quincy, Massachusetts which is the hometown of Dunkin Donuts I'm a Dunkin Donuts loyalist and I love Dunkin Donuts I know that Tom Brady deflated the donuts we had a long conversation where I defended Tom Brady to Matt Besser before the podcast began and he thinks I'm a truth or now pretty much uh but Quincy Donuts that's your your your Dunkin Guy I'm a Dunkin Guy I I don't I just don't I didn't know about Krispy Kreme till later so I don't I didn't really care too much about it I agree with you on the smell it smells so good and I almost left there very disappointed but

it what they were the hot now sign was on and I didn't know that I was supposed to get a glaze donut Fred of the podcast Evan Susser told me that uh you have to get one of the hot glaze now donuts so I got one and they those are undeniably good they're really really good they melt in your mouth they're delicious but this is gonna sound crazy but it's just it's not Dunkin Donuts works for me more in the morning I these are the Krispy Kreme donuts are so sweet to me they're the sweet they're so so they're definitely more of a dessert I'll give you that yeah but I will also say like you were saying you can eat them till you get sick it feels like you can put down more of them if I have one or if I have two don't feel airy yes I feel very air if I have two Dunkin

Donuts donuts I'm sick and I had probably close to four donuts tonight uh I'll go get them my wife likes them too so I'll go on the mission and get them and she won't even know how many I'm getting and I'm like I'm like a guy sneaking out to do cocaine I'll fucking I'll get a dozen and then she thinks when I get home that I just got six you know what I'm saying well it also has the drive-thru which seems very convenient but when I was up there I was like maybe people are over Krispy Kreme because there weren't a lot of people there I think they just turned on the hot now sign and inside there were a few people but it wasn't crazy and then when I was leaving there the the line for the drive-thru was insane it was like like when you see in an out burger it was the same

thing where it was just yeah a gigantic line of people waiting to get what time of day is this this was just right before I came here 7 30 p.m. you didn't bring any fucking Krispy Kreme donuts what the hell I fucked up pretty bad I apologize fucked up the cheapest food to buy the chance to eat the food that we're reviewing on the podcast I could have done it easily have I ever given you Krispy Kreme donuts uh I don't I don't know possibly I was it's something I do like if I'm doing like a reading or having a rehearsal or it's the thing I buy for my cast it's just an easy thing most people like I feel like then probably yes I feel like probably too because gay risk called me out the other days like oh you're gonna bring some Krispy Kreme donuts you know

and then I'm like oh is that a fucking thing of mine I guess I am I feel I mean excuse to have him probably I feel like maybe it was a theater meeting or something I know that I I feel like that was the first time I've ever tried Krispy Kreme was probably at UCB and in general if I'm just donuts and generally speaking if I'm gonna make an order or pick it out I'm not gonna get the glaze sure I'm gonna get the the Boston the Boston Kreme all right yeah Boston Kreme yeah Boston Kreme or the uh what's the one with custard called uh I think that the chocolate covered custard filled one is usually a Boston Kreme right yeah okay what's the one with the white cream then oh vanilla cream maybe huh what are you talking about as like it's it doesn't have chocolate on

the top and it's just got a cream filling or it does have chocolate I think that is a Boston I think Boston Kreme will have a cream filling with chocolate on top right am I wrong about that I but no one has custard one has the white cream and those are the two I'll get I don't know what the difference in what you call them is yeah see I I feel like donuts were they're they I used to I loved donuts and my favorite was chocolate frosted from Dunkin Donuts but then I kind of I fell off I didn't eat them as I feel like when you're the the sweet spot for donuts or either like you said in college or like like you know like 8 to 14 or something is like the is the sweet spot where you you can still eat that for breakfast but they have some places like uh the famous one is in

Portland the it's called Voodoo Donuts for that right yeah and people are like you gotta get the bacon chick like they start saying ingredients I'm like that's not a donut fuck that I get angry at that shit I'm like they're not playing by the donut rules and I'm not impressed by just throwing crazy ingredients on it and I hate pink donuts or lots of sprinkles on it kind of donuts there were a lot of sprinkle options at Krispy Kreme tonight but I but I give them I give them credit for they keep it they do keep it kind of simple which is which is nice they don't they don't go to some gimmicks I mean they got like they got like a football shaped donut that's going on right now I think they have some gimmicks they throw in there it's not it's not a strict traditionalist

interpretation of the donut I'll say this though that there's when just from eating Dunkin Donuts that there's like I thought those were vagina there's like thick there'll be some Dunkin Donuts have like thick like sugar cube type things on top of the donuts that are like way too much and and at Krispy Kreme I don't you there's usually nothing like that yeah I think it just depends because I do have some seasonal ones that are a little bit more over the top but I think their standard menu you're right is pretty is pretty traditional I do I get what you're saying bad about like donuts because there's there's a the place I relate to is there's a place that I think may have been an orange county of orange county origin that now exists in Santa Monica near where

I live but I've dallyed have been a few times it's very good it's called Sidecar Donuts and they do like these fanny fancy artisan donuts but it kind of to me kind of feels like the end of the artisan food trend because it's like these donuts are like $3 a piece which is like they're super expensive I went there and got like two donuts and a cup of coffee for myself myself and I spent like $12 and it's just like this is this is crazy it's very good but sushi donut exactly it's kind of insane and they do do kind of ornate things like they have like a you know crazy salted caramel one or or just you know flavors that are kind of pushing the envelope in terms of what you'd normally see in a donut and yeah I think I don't know I'm probably for my ordinary donut consumption

I would always lean towards the my family would always go to the like the independent little mom-and-pop donut shop you know I think there's literally a place called Mother's Donuts where we got our donuts from a lot growing up we wouldn't go to a Winchells or any sort of chain we would go to like these independent places that are all Winchells yeah they're all yum yum yeah Winchells and yum yum are kind of like their own thing but there are like a bunch a bunch of just like random like independently owned donut stores that all kind of look the same they all kind of have the same quality of donuts but they're all like these independent entities and I wonder if they're all like buying the same mix or something but that's kind of like my base donut is this this independent

like mom-and-pop donut I feel like Shipley's and and Krispy Kreme have ruined those places for me like I can't even take those donuts like someone bought some donuts brought some donuts to improv for humans the other day and I was like I can't it's it's like buying sushi from the from Walgreens oh yeah that's that's that's how I feel too it's if you bring a box of donuts and it's it's one of those shitty chains I'm like why did you even bring this you brought a box of you should throw it in the garbage well I will say there are some of those that are there are some individual ones that are like if it's like an old institution like there's a place Primo's Donuts which is an independent place that is fucking fantastic and that's just like an old school

place with like an 80 year old Italian man who makes the donuts and there's another place DK Donuts on the west side which is not as good but it is another like good independent donut place but you're right there are all the a lot of these kind of like mid to low tier independent donut places that aren't great but I think a level below that and this is to me is an unforgivable sin in donuts is the grocery store donuts if you go and you get that box of grocery store donuts that are all like those it's like the fake crumb one that doesn't even have the crumb it just has like a cinnamon coating and like the bad powder powdered sugar that's they're just like large sized donuts that you get out of a vending machine that's a really unpleasant donut experience this goes to

a larger back to a more larger thought and what we're talking about Chinese food and barbecue that once you have something that is so good like like sushi for instance that's the food in LA that has ruined sushi in the rest of the country for me like sushi back in New York tastes disgusting to me now and San Francisco is pretty decent wise pretty decent but there's any time I'm in the middle of the country and someone says let's get sushi I'm like no fucking way it's gonna taste disgusting compared to what I'm used to um but I think once you get to what you think is the height sometimes it ruins every other version of that where you can't even taste it it sounds taste like it's rotten I get that but I was uh I was at 7-eleven on Christmas Eve which is kind of sad

and uh the lady at 7-eleven said to me uh you can have all the donut you can take every donut in the case right now Santa she did she yeah she was hoping that she would get her gift I got she had to throw them out by the end of the year by law you can have every donut and stick these hot dogs in them I love them I got it I took three of the donuts and then I didn't eat them but then it must have been disgusting uh I didn't eat them but then my sister I got I got my sister lottery tickets and then she gave them as like a part of her Yankee swap gifts these free donuts how this was like the next day yeah on Christmas day so you're just handing out day old 7-eleven donuts all right we should leave now it's two week old at this point um also another interesting

side note uh one of my first Hollywood jobs was as a CBS page and uh my boss was Karen Winchell the heir to the uh Winchell Stone it yeah that's crazy uh for whatever fortune she was sure she has a hole in her stomach she was she was an older lady so I never got to see her stomach but she had come for it she likes to get glazed yeah Mitch did your old boss like to get come done is that was that your job was that your secret job actually Karen Winchell everyone thought she was really mean she liked me I think if Karen Winchell was how did you not like you yeah oh there's been Nick Weigher for instance uh she she uh if she was a little bit if she was younger I uh I maybe I would have I would have had a crush on Karen Winchell possibly but she was

I think in her 60s or 70 her being the heir to a donut fortune was not enough to make you fall in love oh god fuck you but uh she worked she still she worked at even though she was the heir to that giant fortune she worked at CBS she was in charge of all the pages and you know you know what we're not mentioning is the most famous donut shop in LA and maybe even the world Randy's donut oh Randy's donut the the landmark that has the giant donut that you'll see is out on top of the show the store there the the Simpsons is kind of like uh it kind of took that and appropriated that in there yeah it's been in a lot of uh movies and it's a type of architecture that's it's everywhere but I think it's more in LA than any other city in the world and I think it's called is it called practical

architecture or no no uh program programmable it's like you gotta look this up program programmatic or what it means is the the building is the shape of something the brown derby is another famous LA place or there'll be a hot dog stand it's a giant hot dog or there's a place up near me in the valley that's uh looks like a big keg of beer um I love that but I think uh I think that was a big trend at some point in LA like maybe the 50s or 60s and uh it's probably hard to legally even make those kind of buildings anymore yeah it feels like a pre-literacy thing like the idea that you would just like what the business is would be shaped by what they sold it feels like a kind of thing if someone couldn't read a sign but I guess it was happening mid-century in LA um the uh the the

randies I've never been to randy's donuts but that every time I see it it reminds me of like peewee's big adventure or it reminds me of like uh just because of the art in that movie other city that I was thinking of was one you mentioned earlier Austin kind of reminds has like things like that I feel like too where they have those kind of donut places like voodoo like specialty donut shops that's a big thing there yeah I've never actually been to randy so I I haven't either driven by it a bunch right next to the airport my wife's been uh and I don't remember what she said about the donut quality I bet it sucks yeah I would guess it's probably I would guess it's probably fine that would be my assessment you can get one on the way to the

a rams game next year if you want oh yeah well no no not next year in like 2019 when the stadium opens well whatever a couple years you'll be dead at that point let's let's talk a dig a little bit more into the the donuts at uh crispy cream so bitch you mentioned you went recently I went this past sunday with my wife on my most recent visit I've been there a number of times there's actually a crispy cream like within a two minute walk of my apartment that I've that we've shared since 2007 2008 or so so we've been there a while and honestly I've probably been there fewer than a half dozen times I just don't find myself going that often you gotta go full dozen at least yeah um so I haven't been that much but it's always been there and it's a weird crispy

cream slash coffee bean like they have like a coffee bean inside of it yeah yeah yeah hate when franchise is shared yeah we talked about that before we have it's even ones I like like taco bell is one of my favorites and they they do that a lot the split is that they're young brands who's the kfc and the taco bell and pizza hut uh everything right yeah they fall into that umbrella they do a lot of the split restaurants in fact when we did a our uh uh long john silvers episode with mary holland the only uh long john silvers in like a hundred mile radius of la is in gardina and it was a half long john silvers half kfc which is kind of a disappointing experience and also I feel like it makes the food seem more like I'm getting fish bacteria in my chicken or

something yeah well we mentioned on that episode when we went there they were like we ordered off the long john silvers menu and they were like surprised like everyone totally just went there for kfc all right guys thought out yeah um but yeah so so this is like you know it's like it's like got the coffee bean inside of it it's fine it's not exactly a proper crispy cream but it does it has their full menu so conflict of interest because they sell their own they do sell their own coffee it's kind of weird I wonder how that came about um I wonder if it was just part of their overexpansion when they were opening all those restaurants in the 90s and the early 2000s that makes sense to me because I wanted to get a there was like a strawberry I looked on the menu online

there was a strawberry lemonade slushie yeah and they didn't have it and it was I think it was a this one seemed way more like a crispy cream but there was coffee bean coffee inside as well yeah they also at some of these I look into their website they have a thing cool cream at a few locations which is their own soft serve ice cream uh so if you're out there and you've uh you've had the crispy cream ice cream let us know how it is give us a hashtag uh I don't know cool cream Jesus I don't know I was training something on Wikipedia about they had some specialty like it was called cherry wine donut or yeah they have a cherry wine they had a cherry wine donut at some point and then I think it's or cheer wine cheer wine is what it's called

they had a cheer wine donut at some point it was a limited edition that they brought back and it was popular but I don't think it's available anymore right they only had it in certain I found that interesting yeah yeah it was only in the carolinas or something Mac I have to ask you a question too are are you proud that two of your former students are created a food podcast I am proud you apologize for the podcast before it even started which is very like you but that's what podcasts are supposed to be right they're supposed to be very specific there's nothing worse exactly there's nothing worse than ones that are just we're hanging out talking about whatever you know like let's have a fucking theme that's good yeah

I agree with that and credit to nick weiger for coming up with this idea that wasn't all me we co-lapped yeah um so we can talk about crispy cream a little bit uh so I got them some they have some mini donuts which are not quite holes they're not quite full donuts they're just kind of like half-sized donuts we got a few of those I got a chocolate ice with sprinkles and a sugar from the full-size uh collection I got a maple a ice glaze I'm a big maple I love maple on doughnuts that I that maple bar is probably my favorite um and I like it I got an apple fritter which is also none of my favorites and now we got a glazed chocolate cake which was kind of had that old fashioned texture to it you know the old fashioned doughnut that's got a little bit of a I don't

know how you describe it exactly but it's it's not chunky it's a little chunkier yeah then then then the standard texture um all good you know these are all ones that have been sitting a little bit they're all good they're all like quality fine donuts you didn't get an original glaze they didn't have the hot now glaze at the time of our visit I've had them before the past but they weren't available this particular visit it was a sunday afternoon um uh maple ice glazed uh tasty good maple execution apple fritter fine fritter you know I feel like I've never it didn't stand out I feel like I haven't had one that's like I feel like it's it's hard to find a fritter that really blows your mind I feel like they're all kind of the same tier and and this was one that

was kind of just like right in that the center of that bell curve I would you know the expression uh order with the place is that how it goes yeah uh I would say apple fritter doesn't fall into that like I would say you have to get they are about the the the more airy versions like I wouldn't pick a chunkier donut there sure I get that I I I'm not sure if you're done with your order yet but I 100 I 100% agree based on what I got tonight but they have like it is a thing they offer I think like maybe yeah maybe maybe the apple fritter is not the ideal uh crispy cream order to have but I mean it's a menu item they offer and I feel like if you're craving a fritter and and you're there that's your donut option I feel like the apple fritter is gonna be okay and that's that was

kind of my assessment of it but it sounds like you you had something similar bitch go ahead well I did the I knew that you had gotten an apple fritter so I got a blueberry fritter and uh I've been a million times and never frittered I will say that it was straight up lousy it was not good um I gotta have Mexican hot chocolate see those those anytime you get like the the fruit the the so-called fruit kind of filling that can be a danger zone with at any any uh donut places I agree I agree with that it and that's when you do want the mom-and-pop place because it's probably gonna be fresher real ingredients I've had some great fritters in LA at this there was this local donut shop that I used to get for the Simpsons Ryder and now a roast beef place is taken over it

like a near top round is that right yeah that used to be a donut shop that had delicious fritters but this fritter was not good that you could the blueberries were like hard it was it was just not great I think I do think there's partly part of that might be just the general inferiority of a blueberry dessert to an apple dessert like I feel like a blueberry fritter is just just objectively worse than an apple fritter so I feel like I just feel like like that might be part of your assessment is you just had like an okay blueberry fritter which is I agree I bet it has more chemicals in it yeah I would have to be in blueberry country where the fuck that is to order a blueberry fritter whereas apple is more universal free yeah I agree with you an apple fritter is probably good but

I mean it wasn't completely the fritter itself just wasn't yeah regardless of whatever fruit was in there was gonna it was not gonna be good it was it was it was pretty it was it was pretty bad and so in the in the Mexican hot chocolate was also not great but maybe that is a coffee bean creation but I ordered it because that was the drink available that kind of looked different they had a Mexican hot chocolate they had a sampler there which I just had a little sip of and I agree it was kind of like yeah this is a little overly sweet nothing I would ever got that's where Dunkin Donuts is superior I'll give them oh yeah the coffee win I'm a Starbucks guy but as far as donut places go I'll give them the coffee win for sure I think I definitely rather I think you touched on this

earlier Mitch but if I had to go for breakfast like I was like oh I need to eat something in the morning I would always go Dunkin Donuts over Krispy Kreme because I feel like if I I feel like I get a breakfast sandwich there which is just you know not something that you can really get at Krispy Kreme and the donuts are not as like like punishingly sweet and also you're absolutely right about the the coffee I think it's just it's clearly better well I agree with that but it would depend on how much I'm I'm I'm doing a guilty if it was just I want to make myself happy I'd go to Krispy Kreme got you it was like this is the place I stop on the way to work I'd probably have to do Dunkin Donuts well the guy told me to get an apple fritter and I didn't

listen to his advice so yeah because they fucking had to toss it so toss all them fritters no one's buying them I had a be mine a Valentine's donut which was a be mine it was like a the best way to describe it was like it's like a a filled donut with with chocolate cream and then it's chocolate glazed on top that sounds good and it was pretty and there was a little be on it too and it was in the shape of a heart it was it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't bad it was it was probably towards the top of all the donuts did you eat the whole thing I didn't eat all of them because I got a I got a bunch of different ones so I kind of you ate that tonight yeah so where are the rest of them right now in your car I know I threw them in the trash what the fuck is going on

here you didn't bother giving to a homeless guy you could have at least done that the guy who says I love Krispy Kreme I want to come talk to you about it oh man I'm gonna throw it in the fucking trash there's one kind of guy that blames farts on dying dogs oh my god I knew this would happen I was gonna breathe I got a sour cream glazed which was like the it was kind of like a cakey donut and it was a sour cream glaze it wasn't bad it was very very sweet did you get a lot of guys are really pushing the envelope I got every well it was just a lot of the things I got were too sweet and I'll tell you what's a bit the chocolate frosted glaze was was good but it was so sweet and it was like they glazed the donut first and then they put the chocolate on top of it

sure it was just too much there was too much going it was too sweet and it didn't have to be glazed before they put the chocolate on top and Dunkin Donuts doesn't do that I prefer their chocolate frosted but I had a strawberry filled and the strawberry filled was good it was nice and airy and had powdered sugar on it and then and that that was good and I finished that one and then right before I was like I said Evan see that one you can accident you can get into it too much and drop some on your shirt you gotta be careful oh yeah definitely there's strawberry squared on your shirt but you know what I'll give them credit for that too it wasn't one of those things where I bit into it and it shot everywhere it was a sorry I lost track it was like nice and

you know what I mean like it was like yeah open and fluffy it's distributed it's not there's not too much pressure inside there my head went to Karen Winchell again and then um but the thing that saved it for me that made made it worth the visit was I got one of those hot light donuts the the fresh glazed donut did you eat that first or last I ate that last which was which was how would a book ended I get two of them I almost didn't get it all though and Evan Susser saved me and told me I had to go get one and I and and it was definitely the best it was the best thing I had there for by far I would say shout out to Evan Susser too for doing more research on these restaurants than Mitch does consistently have you ever heard of uh

I think they've changed the name nozawa it's a sushi place on Ventura oh yeah they used to have what's like the soup not see they used to have this guy and I think he retired but if you went in there and ordered like a California roll he would be so fucking pissed off he would be like that's not even sushi get the fuck out of here you pretty much had to just ask him what should I order but I think you're ordering some things that would offend who is the original guy Vernon somewhere other Vernon something wait I can bring the names up Vernon would be pissed he would go what is all this apple fritter sour cream who came with ice cream that's fucking bullshit he would be pissed about the crispy cream ice cream that's just in all fairness bullshit in

all fairness a guy from Nashville Tennessee who lived in the 1930s would be pretty pissed about a lot of things that are going on in the year 2016 gay marriage fritter how dare you um let's uh let's get to our final thoughts on crispy cream so here's how this will work better uh we'll each go around sort of give kind of your closing argument your overall thoughts on the franchise and then you can end it with your rating which will go from one to five forks and tell us if uh you know but we know how numbers work um uh so uh we'll start with you okay well I think I already kind of started my big opinion was you go to crispy cream for the original glaze donut that that's the reason you're there and all that other stuff like you you should just start off with an order

of six original glaze and and everything else is just icing on the donut it's just that's having fun but the reason you're there is to get the original glaze that's what they make that's what they make best you're not there for the coffee you're not there for fucking fritters or ice cream all these other things if you're gonna if you're gonna go to another level make it one of the more simple like a Boston cream or a chocolate glaze or something that's just one more step not once you get three steps removed from the original glaze you're just ordering wrong in my opinion and uh no one makes the original glaze or a glaze simple donut better than crispy cream and that's why I'll give it five spoons yes five forks no five five forks my mentor

all right let's go ahead oh man now I'm gonna let my mentor down um it's uh be honest true to yourself truth is comedy well I'll give it some awards to start off I give it the thermometer award for making me feel the most sick uh spoon man's laziness award because it's the closest place we've gone to our studio so far so it was great for me that's nice um even though I didn't bring any back so I kind of felt that oh my god that was insane times I'm sorry and uh the dental award because of the the amount of sugar I've never this was the most sugary meal I've had doing this podcast for sure and um you know here's my thing with crispy cream I don't have an allegiance to it I have an allegiance to Dunkin Donuts you came in

with a fucking Dunkin Donuts agenda at least admit that you came in with the double d not respecting the k-square just right away there might be a little bit of that going on you walked in going prove it to me I kind of did but you know what it didn't prove it to me it it it it it I will agree with you that it does it does one thing maybe better than any place does and that's remarkable to that glazed donut that it does is maybe better than any anywhere else it's very very good when you get a hot glazed donut um but besides that I was just okay on the other donuts and they didn't there weren't any there wasn't anything else to offer me for me it's a place that if it didn't exist I wouldn't care uh wow and and a question of my head is like the ultimate insult

period isn't it just outside of food it's like yeah that's like that if you didn't exist I wouldn't care and on top of that I'll say why not just fried dough I if I when I eat that fresh glazed donut I just think I wish this was fried dough it's close to fried dough and I wish it was just a fried dough place what are you talking about yeah I kind of I was eating that I was like a hot sugary a taco why not why not make it a burger it's just a different form in my head I was like I wish there was a fried dough place that was like this where I could just go like funnel cakes what are you talking about yeah like a funnel cake fried dough is you you get it yeah funnel cakes a pain in the ass for one well talk about a mess I talk about it for some for kids a fried dough to

me is like almost like a fritter but bigger like a big like a like almost like a looks like a flat flatbread but kind of wider so you just want like a larger donut no kidding I can't show up to a rehearsal or a script read with that but again I will say that it can't be I mean those those donuts those fresh hot donuts are so good but is that is that enough for me for a restaurant not really but I do recognize that it doesn't so well I'm kind of teetering here on which what I should give it three or three and a half I think I'm gonna go three four that sounds like a lot for what you're talking yeah well because it does it does you're not just saying that because I'm getting mad over here no three three three forks because it's the lowest fork you've given

here I think half for you give a half fork to caros yeah so three is actually probably right around where I give a lot of places and that's based on how good that fresh hot don't what's it really would you guys give Taco Bell I give it five forks I give it three forks and he ruined it for everybody because he's an asshole well like I've like I've made my allegiance clear we don't need to have this discussion now but I am a del taco I'm a del taco I prefer del taco by far in Taco Bell it is I've been from because I think California I understand that's part of my upbringing but I very much prefer del taco of the taco Taco Bell is one of my favorites but I think I asked you if you guys had covered that or that's what I went and looked for because I was like that's

probably my favorite fast food that was that that's a that's a five forker from me and Nick should have given it five forks but the the fresh hot donut I'm if you're if you're going to get a dozen of those and and bring them to a cast or a meeting or something like that everyone will be happy people will love it it's just overall the restaurant which I'm grading I have to give it three forks gotcha um I like Krispy Kreme I think they really kind of messed up their business and they they overexpanded and they diluted their brand you know for there was a time when they had Krispy Kreme kiosks at the supermarket in the same way that they had Entenmann's kiosks and it's like they really got away from it for a while and I'm glad they've kind of recovered

of scaled down have simplified may interrupt I read that they they tried for a while to sell them at intersections at stop lights through windows that's insane that's an insane it's insane that they would do that and they they kind of went crazy they kind of went you know like again we talked about the I mentioned the dot-com bubble it was that same sort of era they got a little too excited about expanding and going public they were a little nuts now they I think they've gone back to their basics a little bit your guys are spot on that hot fresh hot now glaze donut original glaze is delicious it's very good I didn't have it on this previous visit and I was craving it because when I've had it in the past it's always delivered always been

satisfying always felt like it's worth the trouble those first couple visits I paid was you know a 20 to 30 minute drive away to go to the nearest Krispy Kreme and it absolutely delivered when because once I got that original that hot now original glazed I was like okay this is what this is all about the regular donut menu I put it about on a par with an independent donut place I'd say like a like a mom and pop donut place that you could go to that's in a strip mall you know not talking about the the uh the 7-eleven donuts that Mitch apparently consumes by the garbage bag but but like the independent donut tier I feel like that's about the level where the other Krispy Kreme donuts are which is fine as a donut shop I think the donuts are better than

Dunkin Donuts as a place I think it's overall inferior to Dunkin Donuts because I think Dunkin Donuts as beverage is better and does has breakfast sandwiches um uh I think overall I am going to give Krispy Kreme three and a half forks oh it's still respectable the way you guys talk about it it sounds like 1.5 to 2 no I enjoy their donuts they're good I think they're very solid but at the end of the day they they excel at one thing and the rest is kind of at a at an acceptable level and that's why I give them that extra half fork because of that original glaze which is worth the trouble if you haven't had it and there's one right around the corner and because I messed up they're open till 11 you two are you asking me to go I didn't want you to get your donuts

where'd you throw them away it's the better like where's the trash can you throw them away and I'm gonna find that in the Krispy Kreme uh restaurant in the in the trash all right best I really messed up yeah you keep berating Mitch about this I'm gonna duck out of the room real quick for our next segment I actually while you well yeah while you duck out I have a I have fan mail for you Besser huh it's from anonymous uh hey Besser being in charge of such funny silly gooses must make you thirsty have you ever found yourself drinking warm goo from a bird or piglet instead of water this is Armin this has to be Armin and also have I ever you're so happy when Krispy Kreme was in primary colors

what does that mean black and white if that means black and white is that what that means I guess no or is that just the colors of the rainbow primary colors I will guess that this anonymous emailer doesn't even know what primary colors are because if it's black and white I'd probably agree with that because that goes back to what I'm saying they should just kept it with the simple basic thing what was the thing about have I ever drank goo from a piglet hey Besser being in charge of such funny silly gooses must make you thirsty have you ever found yourself drinking warm goo from a bird or piglet instead of water yeah your mom is fucking pussy now that just sounds like doesn't that sound like an Armin

question well I will tell you that your guess of who the anonymous emailer was is is 100% correct it sounds like the way he fucking talks I assume that it sounds like a bunny rabbit asked me that I heard a little bit of that primary colors I believe referring to the film correct oh okay reference to the Bill Clinton film was it with where John Travolta played like Governor Clemens or whatever oh and Clinton had a was that one of his things like he was known for eating doughnut he was so he was known for eating McDonald's and they probably fictionalized it to him being known for eating Krispy Kreme because that was a bunch of there are a bunch of A to B changes like that in that movie it was really weird okay that reference was lost on me sorry folks

that was definitely that was Armin though for sure I was there to parse Armin's gibberish all right it's time for a regular segment god damn it Armin how many ways do you find to fuck up this show well if you listen to the in and out episode where he was a guest the answer is many outless ways all right and ruin probably one franchise that a lot of people would like to do the review for oh yeah yeah that's probably a lot of people's favorite burger place we'll redo it and take his episode down all right it's time for a regular segment I've got a mystery beverage and miss Mitch and Bessar have to guess what it is it's the Weiger challenge so I've handed you each a cup that I've poured some liquid from a an undisclosed bottle into um uh describe for us

what you are seeing and smelling and uh when you feel like it tasting well I'm gonna say right away yeah I told you I ate Middle Eastern food this weekend and the uh the owner who is a very charismatic one of those charismatic old dudes I've I've had this restaurant here for 40 years and uh and he's really sold us on getting a certain drink which was pomegranate juice and uh it looked almost exactly like this so just looking at it it looks like pomegranate juice I have yet to smell it it looks to me I'm getting I know it is it's some sort of tomato juice yeah it's tomato it's some sort I don't the Weiger challenge so uh I've only lost this the Weiger challenge once which is four and one in the Weiger four and one which is very good and and the in the in the one

loss is kind of debatable and we're gonna have a drink off I believe to to kind of settle that one but uh but this it's always tricky I don't know if it's just tomato juice but we should go ahead and well hold on hold on I have another couple of good things to say go for it so when I was uh growing up and on a plane I would always my my parents loved Bloody Mary so I always loved getting the Virgin Mary so this I'm gonna I'm guessing now but now I can see it's a uh it's a little brighter than like Mr. and Mrs. T mix and I'm gonna guess Clomato before I even wow sip it Clomato guessed before the taste from Matt Besser it's not Clomato I don't think it's Clomato taste it you can change your answer you're not locked in it's also not Mr. and Ms. T mix

because it's not spicy enough it just tastes like tomato juice it tastes like tomato juice just like tomato juice to me too I think this might be classic V8 doesn't seem as dark as V8 are we supposed to guess brand too get guess as specific as possible and I will make a judgment call in terms of who got closest if no one gets it exactly I don't know if I'm getting a little bit of spice at the end of it I can't tell this is going down better than most tomato juices do for me usually because I don't love tomato juice I'm gonna say it's a type of V8 because that's why he said be specific as possible so it's some kind of something else in the V8 you didn't mix it though it's nothing's big comes like this came straight out of the bottle I shook it up and poured

it in my dad used to drink Clomato which is a really fucking disgusting it's it's like clam juice and tomato juice this one is this is a tough one I my my thought is either it's original V8 or like a spicy or peppered V8 that's that's the only that's the kind of the only spicy at all I'm gonna say it's diet V8 diet V8 Mitch do you have an answer I'm gonna go with what I just said before there is either original V8 or it's a spicy pepper V8 so you get you're giving two guesses all right I'll go with original V8 we have original V8 and diet V8 these are our guesses yeah it's milk I don't know I don't know how to judge this one I am going to declare a tie in the Weigar challenge wow because the answer you had it a second there Besser it is in fact Clomato wow yes

so amidst your record goes to four one and one you guys I think I should get the edge because I all right Besser you win the Weigar challenge what the fuck does it taste like it doesn't taste like Clomato to me yeah you you actually said Clomato I was really when you said Clomato I was like oh my god he got it before even tasting it and I think you overthought it and talked your way out of it but I thought it had more of a fishy smell to it but it doesn't yeah no I think when you I think I think it's so subtle that unless you know it is you're not like getting that clam character I knew V8's darker than this yeah you know what you're darker yeah I can't think of anyone better to get a win over me than my mentor Matt Besser and the other one I want to win back I want

to be five and four and one or whatever all right so we'll say your four we'll take away the tie we'll say you're four and two I'm making a good Dell like ruling where where where Besser wins the Weigar challenge and we'll still have that rematch up for up against Ryan Perez that was the Weigar challenge just like a restaurant we've all we value your feedback let's open up the feedback today's question comes to us from Johnny Simon Johnny writes hey boys quick question aside from the restaurants you enjoy for the food if you could operate any single chain restaurant location be it fast food fast casual or casual dining which would it be which would be the most fun thanks a lot I know Mitch must be having a hard week but here's a nice picture of Tom Brady with

pretty long hair take a look at that Mitch oh I remember that face he looks good yeah he's looking good he looks good with a long hair um Besser do you have I met him and he was very nice to me for your friends oh yeah you you shot a little spot with Tom Brady I did you can let if you search Tom Brady superfan or something on YouTube it's a funnier dive video no way I'm searching that I actually I Mike Mitchell one of the worst North Quincy High School red raider football players in history caught a pass from Tom Brady he threw a pass to me in that video I don't wonder you believe him so much he I bet it was easy to catch so deflated there was there was a New York Times article that just came out about how deflate gate is bullshit and people check it out

New York Times dot com yeah that's what you're plugging this week the New York Times the largest newspaper in the world um what do you guys think Besser do you have any opinion if there's a chain restaurant uh you could you could own or operate well I'll tell you what tonight when I was living in Chicago uh a Ben and Jerry's franchise opened up and I think I told you earlier I used to eat a fucking pint of Ben and Jerry's every month or every night and I was like this has got to be the easiest fucking job what's easier than scooping ice cream and this guy who had bought the franchise was I'd call him a neo hippie because he looked like a hippie but he was uptight as fucking hell and I bet he was just really nervous about this being the first anything he'd ever owned and operated but

he was such a douchebag about the way we would scoop the ice cream there was a way that they taught you to scoop and how big exactly the the scoop of ice cream should be and how you'd twist your wrist and I could not get it down and I was like I can't believe I can't figure out how to do a proper scoop of goddamn ice cream and I got fired from that job in less than a week I also got in a argument with my co-worker about Farrakhan but that's another story but uh I would think that would be a fun franchise I would run it differently than that fucking uptight hippie and not care as much about how big because you don't want to over scoop you're giving them too much ice cream I guess was the thought there but I'm gonna I'll go with uh Ben and Jerry's it's a good pick Mitch you got any

thoughts I think for me you know what would have been great was running one of those old pizza huts that was the actual sit-down restaurant oh long for the day where those return yeah that would that would have been a fun they didn't exist anymore they they're kind of there's a few about me yeah shakies a shakies could be fun but I feel like people don't like I'm thinking pizza and it's in it I guess in its prime yeah shakies is a little dingy I feel like yeah a little dingier and and that just seems like a fun place to kind of work and there's there was beer there and stuff and that would be fun I if it has to go by my favorite fast food place I guess it would be I would want to manage a Wendy's or own a Wendy's franchise just because I love I love I love Wendy's it's my it's

maybe my favorite or you could just go classic and go McDonald's but I think I think Wendy's would win it but for me I think I would I think I would want to do a casual dining and we talked about this a little bit on the last episode with Eva Anderson but it's just the restaurant world is a lot of fun my and it feels like a family yeah sitcoms that you watch cheers or something like a it'll be fun to kind of manage a restaurant and my godfather's son which is like family he owns a restaurant Quincy called the Fat Cat which is great and then there's a and then another one in in Waymyth called Passport and he manages those two restaurants and it feels like a fun exciting life it it seems like a yeah it's I think it would be like fun to make up a menu and be creative

with it and I don't know yeah my brother-in-law works in the hospitality right industries he's managed restaurants and it's a it's a seems like a very interesting life but also a very stressful life like kind of like there's there's just a lot of work that has to be done but I think taking into account ownership as this is kind of like a luxury purchase like if I if I could own an NBA team I like part of the the fun of that would be like oh I have an NBA team and I think like as much as I love a place like Del Taco or Wendy's I think I'd rather have a fud ruckers because that's a place I can go and hang out and I could have a pitcher of beer with my friends assuming it's a fud ruckers that has alcohol which the fud ruckers in Santa Monica unfortunately doesn't um but if

it was a fud ruckers I want a fud ruckers that had alcohol that that would be my choice so it's kind almost we kind of like similar to the pizza yeah I want a place to hang out whatever you give you put on the game you invite your friends over Evan Susser's there six days a week it's a great time thanks for your question Johnny if you out there have a question about the world of chain restaurants you can email us at doughboyspodcast at gmail.com check out our twitter at doughboyspod follow us on facebook doughboys and thanks for that picture too by the way and thanks for the picture they're really really brightened uh brightened uh Mitch's week up we'll get next year Matt Besser thank you so much for joining us do you have anything you would like to plug

I would uh there's this thing called siso.com uh we did a series of variety shows shot at the ucb theater on sunset with uh some of the really honestly some of the best stuff of the year like the bits that everyone was talking about we got them together we shot them made up eight half hour episodes birthday boys did a bit um lots of guys you know Andy Daley rich vulture Lauren Lapkus mary holland uh a lot of the people on this show uh were in it and my comedy special my my one man character stand up kind of show it's called best for breaks records on there they got the kids in the hall library money python if you're a comedy nerd and you want to support the ucb from afar you really should what is it four dollars a month it really is like the cheapest

streaming video service it's uh that's an apple fritter that's two that's one and a half apple fritters right there you just don't eat for a month and you get the service and support old maddie b yeah i'm hoping that they uh that apple tv gets the siso app on there because yeah they're they're they're trying to go to these other platforms yeah as we speak and at matt besser is my handle and improv for humans is my podcast all great stuff all very funny and he's guys our mentor and we're sorry that this is what it's come to us don't fight playing on defenseless animals who can't defend themselves uh that note will end this episode of dough boys uh until next time for mike michael the swedeman i'm nick weigher happy eating see you sarah audio