Doughboys - Little Caesars 2 with Marisa Pinson and David Neher

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

Fan favorites Marisa Pinson and David Neher return to discuss parents and vegetarian eats before a review of Little Caesars. Plus, a mascots edition of Slop Quiz.  Sources for this week's intro: https://mentalitch.com/history-of-little-caesars-pizza/ https://fooddigital.com/top-10/top-10-most-popular-canadian-food-and-beverage-franchises https://blog.wdcolledge.com/a-brief-history-of-pizza-in-canada https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-40230407 https://littlecaesars.com/en-us/our-history/ https://www.pizzapizza.ca/about-us/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there anytime to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders,

offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow. 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. There. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. What's up, everybody? It's your boy, Mr. Slice, with some exciting news. The Doughboys are going back on tour in 2022. That's right. CS Live in Seattle on January 8th. In Portland on January 9th. Chicago, baby. January 29th. At the Fox Woods Resort in Connecticut, February 4th. And two shows in Boston, baby. At the Wilbur on February 5th. Ticket info at

headgum.com slash live. That's headgum.com slash live. Do it. North of the border, Pizza Pizza is not merely a slogan, but an entire company. Founded in Toronto in 1967, Pizza Pizza is in fact not only the biggest Canadian pizza chain, it's the second biggest Canadian restaurant chain overall, right behind iconic doughnuttery Tim Hortons. And though unheralded worldwide, Canada did make a historic contribution to the pizza game. In 1962, Stampinopolis combined ham and pineapple as toppings, inventing a polarizing pizza dubbed Hawaiian in a geographic non sequitur. It's probably now on the Canadian $10 bill or some shit. Today, an American chain that says Pizza Pizza competes with a Canadian chain named Pizza

Pizza for market share in the Great White North and has expanded to all 10 provinces. Though the trademark dispute has diluted their slogan into the far less catchy, two pizzas. And in America, this hot and ready motor city chain naturally markets their own version of that Canadian biological innovation, the Hula Hawaiian. This week on Doughboys, we return to Little Caesars. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Wild Bill Hickup, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Ah, yes, yes, yes. Courtesy of Aaron in Wisconsin. Hi, guys. This is a reference to Mitch's hiccuping on the Mod Pizza episode with Cody Ziggler. First came the sneezing, then the belching, and now this. It's only a matter of

time before Mitch starts audibly ripping ass on the pod. Love the show. You guys never fail to make my workday better. RoseSpoonMan at gmail.com. I'm not a fart guy. This is not. I don't think you are. No. But you read it and you didn't comment on it. This is this guy's. Oh, it could have been placed right into the email address. This is this guy's like speculation of what's next. It's either farting or coming. Those are the only possibilities. You think I'm going to come on pod? You're either going to rip ass or you're going to nut. Coming on pod, that's a double, my man. We got to paywall that? We got to paywall that shit. Wikes, how the hell are the Spoon Nation? We got to, look, it's going to be a fun one today. I'm

kind of starting low energy. We'll get that energy. There's going to be high energy. Maybe that's why. Yeah, it's going to be high energy because we got some fun guests. And Wikes, I don't want to tip what the episode is. I mean, people already know what it is. I guess we're cheering. Our guests are raising their arms in jubilation. Now maybe flexing. I want to, yeah, they are flexing. I guess they're jacked. Maybe you will hear me come before the fucking double. It will be, might be today. Okay. I don't want to tip what today's episode is, even though you already did the intro. So, I mean, I don't know what I'm talking about, but I just want to say waggy waggy. What do you think

of that? I think it's great. I love it. Keep it up. It's a nod to Pizza Pizza. I know I'm tickled by it. All right. Well, if you, and Mitch, Mitch will never listen to my intro, but my intro actually talks about pizza pizza. So it's very appropriate. What do you say about it? You know, I've never listened to any of your intros. I mean, I don't listen to the show. I know. What did you say? Anything fun? Everyone, everyone knows we don't listen to it and look for places to improve. Everyone can tell. I talk about how Pizza Pizza is their catchphrase, their slogan in the US, but not in Canada, because in Canada, there's a separate chain named Pizza Pizza that has that trademark. So what does he say there? Are you ready?

Do you want to hear what he says up there? Two pizzas. Is that real? It's real. Two pizzas. That's what he says? Yeah. That sucks. Yeah, it sucks. I think it was Harris Whittles, the late great Harris Whittles, who was, I was just talking about before this, but he pointed out that the Little Caesars guy had a hair chest. Chest hair. Chest hair. Some people say hair chest. Like it's an ailment. Hair chest. Chest hair. Yeah. I really dropped the ball there, Wags. Our guests are laughing at me. Our guests are laughing at me. I should just play this damn drop and get them in here.

Because we've wasted too much of their time already. Right. Here we go. Chest hair, Wags. Chest hair. Chest hair. That's what it should be in where is it? Just Canada? Canada. They're a global company though, right? And they say Pizza Pizza everywhere else. Little Caesars, yes. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Pizza Pizza is huge up there though, the chain. Here is a little drop, Wags. I know everyone thinks I'm like a Norman Bates now because I've been home. I'm not going to fucking tie my mom to a fucking chair and not feed her and become a Norman Bates and wear her wig. Looking in a mirror wearing your mom's dress. Psycho. I'm not going to

Norman Bates my mom is what I'm saying. There it is, Wags. A little drop. I don't think I could fit into my mom's dress. I'm looking fucking busty today by the way. Boy. You didn't notice that? Looks like I got fucking two cantaloupes in the form of my t-shirt. I look fucking mean. It looks like you have nicely developed packs. No. You look very muscular. Wags. Don't sell yourself short. Don't be ashamed of your body. You look great. I'm lactating over here. I don't look good, Wags. I haven't been eaten well since honestly, since July. The 4th of July, we can set it off. Just set me on a downward spiral.

I'll say I have, Mitch, a similar issue. I've started weighing myself daily because apparently that's a way to get over scale anxiety. Just weigh yourself every day. You're part of your routine. Yesterday, not just my quarantine heaviest, my all-time heaviest. Wow. Wait, all-time heaviest used to be a fat fuck. I don't believe this. Do you remember? Our guests remember Nick at UCB. You were a chunky motherfucker. I was chunky, but I also had a lot. Maybe he was done taller. That's true. It's possible. I think it could be because I have more muscle mass too. I think that's a combo. I think I've got more muscle mass and body fat, so it's just like, you know,

I've got more bulk and then a layer of pudding over it, but I'm, yeah, I've gotten pretty chunky. Presley, you got like 30 pounds between the legs already. All right, here we go. Let's introduce our guests. Hey, wait, hold on. I got to read the drop email. Hey, double boys, big fan of the show. Here's a drop to reassure everyone that Mitch definitely will not be Norman Batesing his mom while he's at home. Love from Canada, where they say two pizzas. Spoon slash slice nation, Alex at chip, chiptip, chiptip on Twitter. Chiptip.

Chiptip. At chiptip. At chiptip. Hair chest. Hair, hair chest. I don't know how I got that wrong, but now that we've said, now we've said hair chest again, we might as well bring in our guests. Our guests today returning to the show, two of our favorites, actors, writers, comedians, friends of the pod, David Nier, Marissa Pints in her back. What's up, dudes?

Wow, what a pleasure. What's up, spoon nation? Let's rock. I was mentioning before, before we started that I'm normally, I feel really comfortable in the safety of the double. So being here, you know, in the main line up, this is a lot of pressure. It's the big show. I'm going to have a hard time concentrating with those luscious melons on the screen. Oh boy. Can we block that part out? These are regular Dixie Dynamite.

You guys know Dixie Dynamite? That's a, that's a porno lady we learned about a couple days ago. Man. From like they. Wags and iron. I'm fervently googling right now. What's Dixie Dynamite? Dixie Dynamite. You're talking to men with zero sex drive, Weiger and I.

Okay. Kind of a Western theme thing. Or was this, see what's, what's coming up for me is a, is like a Western film or like a, like a caper movie from the 80s with Brent Reynolds. You know, you might have safe search on. I think you might have safe search. That might be it. I do have a safe search moderate on Bing. Let me turn it off. Weiger just bought sticks of dynamite. He's delivered to his house. Acme, Acme level. Oh boy. This woman is quite top heavy. Is that real? His reaction?

I mean, is it, if you, if you saw what he's seeing, you'd, you'd understand. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to Google that too. I'm assuming it's real. I'm assuming surgically enhanced. That's, this seems physically impossible. But even like what doctor, like a hypochritic oath, what doctor would administer such treatment? So you want painful looking breasts? Yeah, I can, I can do that.

I mean, it seems like it'll shorten her life expectancy by like 50 years. I can't, I can't imagine. Why, what, how did you find her? What did you, what did you, what's the spelling here? Dixie, like D-I-X-I-E, like Dixie Kong. And then Dyna, you know how to spell dynamite. Yeah. E-W dynamite. E-W dynamite. All right, good. I got it now. I can't find her. Do I have to put like porn in afterwards?

Try, try adding porno. Porno. Try, try adding, try typing in Dixie dynamite mommy milkers. Dixie, okay. All right. She's on, she's on xvideos.com. I'll see here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get some images. Oh my God. This is good. Yeah. Dear God.

Really putting you to shame. Watch the entire video. Yeah. So if you started to feel bad about the size of your hands, just pull up a couple pictures of Dixie dynamite and that'll help you feel better. Dear Lord, Dixie. Yeah. Yeah. Quite an arsenal. It looks like a, like if someone in leprechaun wished for bigger boobs, like that's what you do.

Right. Like a monkey paw wish. Yeah, it's a monkey paw wish. Dear Lord. Dave, Marissa, enough porno talk. Thought I was expecting the first 10 minutes to go. Wise. I gotta tell you, the only thing left to do now is fart on the podcast. We're happy to have, always happy to have the two of you back and since your last appearance,

something has happened with my diet that corresponds with what I know about the two of you, which is that I have become a vegetarian at least for the calendar year 2021. I'm not eating any meat, not eating any fish. It's been an interesting transition for myself dietarily. I'm curious, can you recap for us like how long each of you have been abstaining from meat consumption? If that's a thing you still do, I'm assuming you're still doing that. You've come to the dark side, young padlock. This is the dark side?

Wow. Yeah, I've been a vegetarian since 2000 and six-ish. I read Diet for a New America and it shook me to my core, but I've since, like, I ate a chicken taco the other night at Marissa's birthday party, so I don't know. I'm getting kind of looser in my old age. I just kind of feel like. I think the best way for anything, especially food-wise, is to not be militant about it. It can't be a religion. I think that's the way that it becomes like feast or famine, like all or nothing. Most of the time you don't eat meat, that's great,

but if you want in and out, you can get that once in a while. Going forward in your vegetarian journey. That seems like a good way. I'm being kind of absolutist about it in the year of our Lord 2021, but I think moving forward, I'll have a little bit more flexibility, a little bit more leeway, because I think the thing that can happen if you're trying to be super strict, I've had this happen when I'm just trying to lose weight, trying to lose body fat, is I'll be like, I'm not having any liquid sugars for no liquid sugars, and then three weeks will pass and I'll be like, I kind of want a smoothie, and then I'll have the smoothie and be like, well, fuck it, I'm having liquid sugars now, and then I'm just back to my old habits.

But if you're just sort of like, okay, I had that smoothie, but I'm still not having any liquid sugars. I don't know, it seems like a little bit of leniency, like you're saying, seems to help, but it's been interesting. I'm curious to the two of you, what do you do for like, you're cooking a regular meal at home, and you have a family, so what are you preparing? What kind of dishes are kind of like your standard dishes in the home kitchen? Well, my favorite foods are vegetarian foods. I've never been like a big meat eater. I don't know if anybody who likes like biting into like a chicken leg and like finding like a blue vein, you know what I mean? Like, isn't that always just like Jesus Christ? I mean, that happens to

you once when you're 11 and you're like, I never need to eat this again, you know? So I've never been like a big meaty person. I like foods that I can, that I could like be at the factory of them getting made and then sample them at the end. Like and to me, that's like not meat, you know what I mean? Like I could go to the jelly belly factory and watch a jelly belly get made, and then they're like, do you want to eat it? And it'd be like, oh yeah, that sounds great, I just watched it get made, but I don't think anybody could say the same about like, you know, a burger or like a chicken wing, right? So my favorite food is vegetarian food because it's like, it's the best stuff. It's bread and pasta and cheese and pizza and, you know, nowadays,

because I've been a vegetarian for, it's probably since like 2008-ish. Nowadays, the scientists are really cracking the code on this fake meat. So if I crab an itch for a burger, a Beyond Burger like is absolutely fits the bill. It's so good. So we do a lot of like, you know, grilling of burgers, we probably eat those maybe with more frequency than we should, but, you know, once a week we'll have a Beyond Burger, we'd probably have pasta a few nights a week. We eat like a lot of Mexican food, you know, rice, beans, vegetables, roasted cauliflower, rolled up in a tortilla, guacamole, sour cream, cheese, you know, you can really have some fun. Yeah, a lot of soups, a lot of soups. Summertime soup is, it goes a little bit on the back burner,

literally. Gaspacho. We'll eat salads. We don't do a lot of hot salads, Wikes, but there's like, okay, the cold salads are very fresh. You're missing out on cold salads, especially during summer. I feel like if you tried it, you'd like it. All right, just to clarify, I like, I will don't have, I don't eat hot salads with regularity. I like a cold salad, so. All right, Wikes, you don't have to be defensive, Jesus. Yeah, dude, you're yelling, you're literally hurting my ears. So you like eating cold salads off of, straight off of a table, right? Yeah, he's a table freak. Okay, yeah. I think I did hear that somewhere. These references are too old, right? Because we haven't been able to listen to the pod as much lately now that we have two children. So I'm wondering if

there's any other like running jokes that we have missed out on. I know that you burped and I, because I remember that from the episode. You sneezed, you've been burping, you've been hiccuping. Is there anything else that we've missed out on like these running gags? No, sadly. Wikes still has a massive hog. Wikes still has a massive hog. I heard him in the couple of years that you haven't. He has a super long tongue. Have you seen his tongue? Oh yeah, he shows it all the time. Wikes show every kind of tongue. Can I see it because I didn't get to see it. Do I have to show my tongue now? Okay, I'll show my tongue on the on the stream yard. All right, he's taking the tongue. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's sucking your own dick. You could eat your own ass.

She's surprised. Wikes? There's truth. It looks like the high scream mask from Scary Movie. That's really good. Oh my god, you have so much good material about Wikes' tongue. I can't believe it. What's up indeed, Wikes? I want to say that you have a little screen in front of your mouth, like a little blanket, and then you remove it to show your tongue. Like you don't put it on display. It's hitting most of the time. Like a freak show. Yeah. Marissa, I thought you were going to say that your favorite food when you were when you were segwaying, you were like the Jelly Belly Factory, and that's why my favorite food, and I thought you were going to say your favorite food was Jelly Belly. Well, that being said, my favorite foods are like candy and ice cream

and dessert, where we talked about like late night munchies a little while ago. That's right. I'm telling you, I'm eating like ice cream cone every night, brownies, sundaes. I eat dessert after lunch. I don't know if maybe it's always been like this, or maybe it's just like when you're a parent, your spirits are just so broken throughout the day that you need to soothe, and you can't drink anymore because you have to be up all in the middle of the night. So I just have, I'm just eating seas candy. Do you guys know seas candy? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. So I'm eating, we go through like a half a pound of seas candy every few weeks. We'll get a box of that and just really good. It's not so sweet and pasta. I mean, you can, that's being a vegetarian. It's

incredible. Yes. You can't eat a lot of trash. I didn't love, I hated veins and chicken when I was younger, but now they don't bother me. Now, give me an old vein chicken. I'm down with it. A big bowl of veins? A big bowl of veins. Oops, old veins. I'm fine with that. Oops, old veins. But that was a huge turnoff. Hey, I'm having a meatless dinner tonight. Why? Because I'm going to, I'm getting a Greek salad for dinner. That's my dinner tonight. Great. There you go. This Dixie dynamite image search is still up in the background. I gotta take this down. Yeah. Maybe close that tab. My mom comes in here. She wouldn't even understand what that is.

I mean, it's almost inhuman. Michael, why are you looking at Dixie dynamite? I have tapes of it if you want to watch. You don't have to go on your computer. When we were moving my mom after my dad passed away of the same cancer that your dad passed away from, Mitch. Oh man, sorry. Well, anyway, the point is we were moving my mom and there was a there was a box in the attic of the garage that was porno tapes that had been like unearthed for this move. Like they, when we moved in the house, when I was like a little kid, they just got stuck up there and then we were moving it and I'm as an adult and they were pulling them down to move them. And one of them, my dad, I written on the label, no good.

Not so bad that I'm going to get rid of it, but not my favorite. Oh my God. Isn't that so funny? I think the worst thing I ever found when I was younger was a flavored condom in my dad's cancer garage. Oh God, that would kill me. Run away from home. It was like a lollipop. It was like a lollipop with like a condom on the top of the pot. I mean, like he obviously like someone gave it to him. Yeah. Oh God, I'm not, I can't be thinking about too much. Your dad liked it because your dad liked to suck his own dick. Come a little flavor. You, my dad, you know what? I was texting with your dad last night, Wags. So we talked a little bit before the podcast began with Marissa and Dave about parents and

listening to the show. And my dad has listened to the show some, he calls it the blog. So I've been listening to your blogs, which is cute. And he asked for your number because he was like, I'm going to, well, first he asked for your email and I was like, Mitch will never check his email. And he's like, okay, well, can I text him? I'm going to New England. I was looking for some food wrecks. And so I was like, okay, so you and my dad have been texting one on one. I don't know what's been going on, although I did get a text this morning from my dad that just said, thanks, had a great chat. Yeah, we had a good chat. Okay. We had a great chat. I told you, I told you that he tubed me, right? That's his move. He'll do that right away, just like assert

dominance. It's funny, he thought he could do that over email. Scroll down. Yeah, we're chatting. We're chatting it up. That's really cute. He asked for some wrecks. You know, it's about time because Weigar, you know, you've gotten close with Mitch's mommy, so it only makes sense that it should go both ways. Right. He's going to New England. Did he tell you he's going to New England? Do we know what's happening? No. Jesus. I mean, I think they have a trip to New England planned at some point in the near future when it's safer to travel. Yeah. And we might overlap when I'm up in May. We might overlap. And he said that if we overlap, maybe we can get a beer and tell Nick's stories. And I said, and I said to him,

I said, there's not enough beer in Maine to tell all the Nick's stories. And we had a little laugh about it. We're having fun together. Does mama Mitchell ever listen to the pod? No, I don't let her. No, she never heard it. She can't listen. Your mom has heard some of your, I don't know if she's heard your dough boys appear. Yeah. She's listened to some of it, you know, much to my dismay. Right. But, you know, what are you going to do at a certain point? I mean, I'm 35 years old, you know? I might talk about Nick eating his own ass. I don't know. What can I say? If I'm not old enough to say it now, when will I be?

Just your mom being like, I heard the podcast. I heard your scary movie reference. No, she'll bring it up in a real kind of like, like passive way where she'll say like, so any new podcast you've done recently? Because she has a Google alert for my name. And so she would see things pop up and somehow she would, I mean, this woman like can't turn on her television yet. Somehow she can settle a Google alert and listen to a podcast. I don't know. I don't know how. Once a week, I'm coming over to turn on her TV. I don't know. That's what I did yesterday. I told you guys that I walked out, repaired the whole house. There's new Wi-Fi in here. There's new, the doorbell works. There's a lot going on.

Your stream is normally very choppy. You look like you're, you know, you've got a really unstable connection. You're nice and crystal clear today. Crystal clear today. Mercy accused me of coming back to New England and becoming a doorbell repair man because I fixed the doorbell. I'm not back in New England. I'm not a doorbell repair man. I'm coming back to LA. Do you have a plan because you were here for like, what, like two days? In LA? Yeah. Yeah. I was a very quick, it was a quick visit back. You saw everything you needed to see and you got the heck out of here? I dropped the cats back off. I cleaned up the house and then I took, I took off. It was, I was basically there for a month and a half,

six weeks, maybe two months and now I'm, but I'm coming back. Wags end of September. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. Sure. Will you guys ever record in person again or, I mean? We've done a couple of Patreon episodes in person. Yeah. We had, we had one day where we did a couple of Patreon episodes in person. I had a good time. I thought we had fun, Mitch. It was weird to see in person again. We were staring into each other's, we were deadlocked with each other's eyes the entire time. I got a question. When you guys first saw each other for the first time in all those months, did you hug? No. No, we talked about this on the show. Nick acted like he had just seen me like the day before. Just like, hey, man. Well, because I do see you twice a week anyway

and I generally text with you pretty much every day and then so like, like even seeing you in person, it was, I don't know. I was just sort of like, oh yeah, there's Mitch. It didn't strike me as a big thing until later. I was like, oh yeah, wait, that was the first time we'd seen each other in person for like 18 months. But you have like a, you have like a Mitch bot that you've built in your home though, right? Yeah. So you see him all the time. He's not fully functional yet. Let me guess, the thing's clogged up. Jesus Christ. Dave, you were about to say something a couple minutes ago. Nice segue. I don't need to dog on Marissa's mom anymore. That was in line with that, the way she brings stuff up. Oh yeah. Oh wow. It's like, I noticed the trash came. I had

thrown something away that she didn't want me to throw away. It's like, oh yeah. Yeah, it did. They took away all the trash and some certain other items I noticed were Austin. We're always trying to throw away our stuff and she's always, you know, getting mad about it. We basically like, live together. We live in like, you know, like we share a backyard. So. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I think it'd be nice for the whole, the whole quarantine stretch. Oh yeah, it's been great. And it's, you know, during quarantine, we have a, now we have a bouncing baby boy. So we have a three year old, almost three year old little girl and a three year old, I mean, a three month old bouncing baby boy now. So it's a, it's a full, it's a full house.

How much is he bouncing? You keep saying bouncing. Too much, too much. He's a big boy. He's a big boy. Big bouncing boy. I gotta meet this little guy. He's so cute. I'm gonna say happy birthday. Oh, thank you. Yeah, my birthday was a few days ago. I turned the big three five. Do you guys feel really, really, um, really old lately? Yeah, I feel old as shit. I felt old for years. I mean, I'm older than you. So I felt old forever. Okay. So I feel like 35. I don't know. I just feel really like creaky, you know, I don't know, energy plummeting. The thing that, that, that to me is still like a, I'm still getting used to is wounds taking longer to heal. Like, or like if I'll get a bruise and I'll have that bruise for like a week and a half,

I'll be like, Jesus Christ, I'm just decaying. Yeah. Yeah. That really is an aging thing, I think. Yeah. 100%. Lots of pain, but I think it's like the younger generation is like starting to show their face everywhere now. Like we were watching like Miley Cyrus and she's like with this new guy, Kid LaCroix. Kid LaCroix. That's a guy. Kid LaCroix. Wait, Kid LaCroix? Okay, see, I'm old. It's a dude and he's like 14 years old or something. Young people are looking really young these days. They just look so young. It's like, this is our pop culture now are like kids that look like children to me and it makes me feel really old. And I, I don't hate it. I mean, I enjoy their, their culture. It's just, I don't feel like I'm a part of it.

I don't like it. I don't care for it too woke for me as far as I'm concerned. Oh my God. My issue is that I didn't, I didn't feel a part of it when I was their age either. So now, so now when I'm like older and I'm also not a part of it, it's even more alien to me. I drove by a college yesterday. Not, not intentionally. Let me see what these kids look like. And they, and they looked, and they looked, they looked so, they looked all young. I can't tell the 20 year olds look like teenagers. I, I, they all, they all look, they all look young to me. And I just, they need to eat some more chicken veins. And I was yelling, I was like, eat your chicken. I yelled that out the window at them to eat their chicken veins. But I, but I, I mean,

what am I, you know, should I, you know, the wise, you know this that I've, I want to try to get in shit, but I'm like, well, is, is it just over? Is it, is it all over for me? Should I just, should I wrap it up? You know what the problem is? The problem is, is the thing, you don't, if you're not actively pursuing health, your life becomes miserable, like much, much earlier. It's not even like when you're young and you can just like, ah, so what, you know, I'm a, I'm a fat so I'm lazy, whatever. Like in your kind of, it doesn't matter. Like you remember me, you remember me from back in the day. Those are direct quotes from 2008. You're like, you're in physical pain and you can't sleep and like just like rolling over in bed is like excruciating. So it's like,

you have to pursue exercise to just like stave off pain, right? Yeah. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks. It's bad. Yeah. I'm going to, I'm going to go for a two hour walk after we record here today. That's great. Marisa, I'm going to, I'm going to ask you, going back to, to your birthday, what did you, what did you, what did you, what did you have for a cake? Did you, what, what did you get? Did you get some, it sounds like there were some tacos and balls. Yeah, my birthday was awesome. So David surprised me with, he told me that there was going to be something and then I kind of like gradually started like, oh, it's going to be pretty lit. It's going to be pretty lit. And I

didn't know what was happening. And then, you know, on the big day, there's the reveal that there's, you know, a couple of ladies making tacos. Like they have like the flat top grill. They're like grilling up tacos where people is awesome. And then we had some cupcakes from sprinkles, which were really good. And I used to work at sprinkles. So that's also a nostalgic treat for me. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know that. Runner up in the tournament of champions this year. Yeah. It's a solid, it's a solid cupcake. And so I was happy to jam on that. But the best surprise was, so he hired a, like a steel drum band, you know, because it was like kind of like a vacation themed party because like we, you know,

we love, you know, like beachy vacations. So there was a steel drum band and too loud. Too loud. And I didn't realize it in time. I was like, they started and it was like, ah, oh wow. Wow. This is what having a band is. Like we were shouting to speak to people and we were outside on the lawn, you know, and so we were shouting. It was like we were at like a concert, you know, and you're feet away from the speaker. You're killing me. I was so miserable. Every conversation I was in, I was just thinking like, they're killing me. They're, my ears are bleeding. And I was the only one that had the power to do anything about it. But I kept getting drawn into conversations. It's just like, maybe they'll adjust it. They didn't. Wow. This guy was clanking

on this steel drum. For an hour? He was reared in back. For four hours? Three hours, three hours. But he was off a lot of the time. It was like, everyone's so I you'd hear like a steel drum solo and it'd be like, out of tune and way too loud. And I'm like, I'm dying inside. I hired this guy like, I'm like, babe, it's gonna be lit. It's gonna be lit. So, oh my God, it gets worse. So I went up and I finally, after an hour and a half, I was like, can you turn the volume down quite a bit? I've gotten so mad at that point. He's like, quite a bit. Yeah. And so he did. And then he kept, they were still too loud. And the steel drum guy did not get the memo. So he was coming out of the sound mix even louder. Right. And then I went up and said

another 50% lower, please. Wow. And so he did. And I was like, and can you make sure that he gets the memo? And so he went and gave him the memo. And the guy was so mad. He reacted very strangely to the note and stormed off. Oh my God. And then can I guess that you had to take over steel drums for the party? The thing is, I could have done just as good. Wow. No, so it gets worse. So at the end of the night, oh God, at the end of the night, I go and I thank them graciously for busting each and every eardrum in the party one by one. And the two people are so gracious. And then the one guy, okay, so I'm wearing a ridiculous outfit. I got like this tropical Brazilian, I called it unisex, but it was in the women's section. I was dressed like a freak.

And so the man who played the steel jar said, he was laughing. He was like, you're so rich, you don't even take your pajamas off for the party. And I gave him a laugh like, oh, yeah, it's pretty wild. And I start trying to leave and he says it again, the exact same phrase. This is tense. It's starting to turn. It's like that moment in the movie where you're like, I'm in danger. And he starts following me and he's laughing like a fucking madman. And he says it again. He says that same phrase four times, picks up a tennis ball and slams it down and catches it as I close the door to the home. And I'm like, babe, the man is a maniac. We must protect our children. Oh my God, you, you pissed off the steel drum guy, that the nice

surprise. I mean, it's awesome for what you'd expect us a steel drummer, like the kind of like vibe, you know, mellow, easygoing celebratory instrument of the steel drum. He was going to, he was going to drum you, it sounded like. He was going to treat your head like a steel drum. Yeah, it was like one of those cartoons. I was turning into a steel drum. That aside, though, it was, it was a great night. Yeah, I don't want to dwell on that absolutely insane and weird moment. It was really fun. It was fun. It sounds like you were a heartbeat away from being funny games. Like, you almost had a funny games going on in your home.

I was thinking of the movie Elysian or something with Matt Damian, where like all the wealthy people. Oh, right. I was like, am I Matt, am I one of those people and I deserve to be steel drummed? I don't know. Wow, I don't think that tax bracket, unless I, unless there's something about your finances, I don't know. Those are, those are like, that's like, that's like the, the 0.1 percent. It wasn't like a, like a party with like waiters walking around. It was, it was pretty casual. Yeah. Wow. It's a stain in this guy's eyes. I thought, oh God. I, I, I almost came to this party, but I'm on the, I'm on the East Coast, Maris. I was going to be

there, which may be a ruin of the day for you, but I, but I, so you almost came except that you were in a different state on the other. If not for that, you would have been there. If not for that, I would have been there. And you know what? I would have stood up to this steel drum guy. I was like, I needed you there. He would have gotten one look at those melons, and he would have said, I'm not going to mess with this guy. Oh, he would have taken you to task for those melons. David did, David did really, he was, he was self-conscious. He was like, am I like an asshole? Like, am I what he, you know, what he's calling me out to be? And then we were like, no, he was just kind of going through something, but then David stepped

in a dog turd and he, we were out of bookstore, like outside of bookstore, and he stepped in a dog turd and he left his shoes and he just left them there. And he was like, oh, that kind of feels like maybe something a, an asshole would do, a rich asshole, just leave your shoes and fading them off. You know what? Keep them straight. It was a really big dog turd though. I'll tell you, this turd was too big to be a dog turd. It was either a fucking camel or a man. Yeah. Sometimes you just have to abandon it, you know. A human turd on the street. You see abandon it. Sometimes there's just an unsalvageable mess. You know what? I have, I have old shoes that if I, if I stepped in dog turds, I would, I would toss them in a trash and I wouldn't keep

them. Get out there with a hose and a stick. It's just like, come on. I mean, am I going to get in my car with a human turd? I'm looking for human turds to get rid of some of these shoes. I got too many. You're going to step in them. That's how you get rid of them. You step in the human turd and you get rid of the shoe. It's the only way. Yeah. You can't pull your, pull the trigger. It's like, I need a reason. It's like whenever I kind of like want to get rid of furniture, but I don't know. Let's put it outside and let the sun bake it and it get rained on. Now we can throw it away. Yeah. It's covered with human turds. Let's put it in the dumpster. Hey, this is LA, man. There's two human turds everywhere. A little less since I've been on the U.S. coast. I bet,

I bet. Jesus Christ. What? There are less turds with me over here. I was driving down Palmerson and it's like there's no turds. And I was like, is that related to like Mitch being gone? Because last time when I drove, when you were in town, there were turds everywhere. I don't know if that's correlation. Sometimes I came in, I will say that Palmerson is the feeling I've, there's been many moments where I've been pulling into Palmerson and running to the, to the restroom as an IBS person. But I've never, I've never had to, besides with Jack Allison, which I've said before on the podcast, when we were going to Lake Tahoe and I had a poop on the side of the road. And then we drove back the next day and a father and son were looking at the beautiful,

looking at the, looking at the beautiful mountain scenery and standing right next to my, my turd sock. That is like one of the only times that I've, except when I was younger, when I was younger, like 16 years old, like out drinking out in the woods, I go in a couple of times, I went and took a turd in the woods a few times. I'd rather take a turd in the woods rather than in a port-a-potty. I don't know. I'm kind of weird about port-a-pots. I'd rather pee your turd anywhere except a port-a-potty. Yeah. Fucking hate port-a-potties. Is it absolutely revolting? I'd rather like put on a diaper and poop in it than use a port-a-potty. I don't know if I could bring myself to, to go number two. Well, I've got number two in

port-a-potties just because it was my only option, but it's just like, that's always the worst. Number one, I can tolerate, but even that, I just like, yeah, I'd rather find a private place outside. He didn't like a Gatorade bottle and like throw it away later. Like, I just, there's gotta be another option. Is there a worse sound than your poop hitting someone else's poop? Are you splatting on it? That's hell. That's hell. That's pretty bad. Just put on a diaper. I got a question for you. Well, I mean, the diaper thing, I was, I was, I was watching the make, like the, the, this documentary, Dumb, which Cal Pack has suggested to me in the, in like the Jackass guys, like the big brother magazine guys used to have diaper parties where they just,

they drink and then they like shit and piss in their own diapers. Anyways, that's besides the point. Yeah. What I wanted to ask you guys is having a party or house, what did you do for the bathroom situation? People were eating tacos. Was it, was it just your bath? Was it the bathroom inside the house? Yeah, there's just one, one bathroom. It was actually at my mom's house. So there was a bathroom that I'm assuming got a lot of them, a lot of action. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, at a party, maybe you throw out an extra roll of toilet paper so the guests don't have that awkward thing of, you know, running out of teepee. Wiping their butts with a hand towel. Yeah. Yeah. Get, get like a glade plugin or something. Yeah, for sure. You know, a candle. Yeah. Yeah,

I don't want anybody to feel bad about, about taking a crap in my home. And we have a bidet on the sun, a tushy bidet that we got for my mom. And those are great for, for hosing off your keyster. Yeah, I got into the bidet life during lockdown because I was just like, you know what, what else I'm going to do? I'll install install of that became your hobby. Some people were making bread. I was using a bidet. It's, it's, it's great. It's hard to go back. I got a bit, my mom got a bidet here too for Christmas and I love the damn thing. You know what? I put a full, I went from first to be like, this is weird now. I'm a full pressure boy. Full pressure. I want to fucking, I want my eyes to water when I'm fucking using this thing.

And that's going to be, that's toilet water. I want it to be coming out of my eyes. I want, I want it, I want it shot deep. I like it a lot. Man, that's a lot. You like it. It sounds like you like it a lot. It's, I do, it's, it's, it's, it's got, it's got, it's got a heat seater. Like the, the, the, the, hold on a second. Heated seat. I almost said seated heat. Like a, like a, like a, like a hair chest. Here we go. Backwards boy today. Reverse and backwards boy. Okay. So I can see the merch already. Start working on that t-shirt. Backwards boy. You know what? We are a little backwards here at this pod. Why? Cause aren't we? Yeah. Yeah. We're a little twisted. Yeah. We're a little twisted. But she,

it's got a heated seat and then it's got the, you know, obviously the bidet system where it's heated, it heats up the water, shoots up heated water into you. And then it's got an air dryer. You can, you can dry it. It's got like a little air dryer. Wow. So are you, are you TP free in 93? TP, I'm TP three, TP three, TP, what? TP three. TP three is a droid in solo. Are you TP free in 93? Here's my thing. Even after I use the bidet, I do have to do like, I got to do a wipe or two, but you don't, you use way less toilet paper is kind of how I feel about it. Yes. Does anyone, does anyone just, just use the bidet and then dry them? They're done. I think if you're advanced and your booty gets so clean, you can just use a towel

to dry the water. Like you went after a shower, you know, I mean. Yeah. Oh my God. I think it also depends on your anatomy to some degree. Why? Probably like how, like, well, like how thoroughly. He's trying to say I have a cabinet. He's trying to say I have a cavernous ass. That's what you're trying to say. I can't even get any anatomical difference that would, that would distinguish who needs this and who doesn't. You got a little more crack length. You got a little more depth. Who knows? Maybe a hairy butt crack. I don't know. Some guys are very hairy. Yeah, you clearly have not seen enough buttholes in your life. That's for sure. Okay. Right now, Google butthole. Dixie, dynamite, butthole. Michael, what do you look like?

See, see how very different they are. That's beautiful. Everyone's different. That's beautiful. You've just been looking at your own butthole for all these years and you need to branch it out. And mine. That's for sure. The two children. Can't forget them. Of course. That is one of the great things about being married. You don't have to wash your own butthole. There's always someone to do it for you. It's like I could never really, truly reach it. And so it's great to have someone. You need an assistant sometimes. You wash my butt. I wash yours. That's the perk. My wife and I, we saved ourselves for marriage on that. So that was like a special night. When you wiped each other. Yeah. It does suck for a baby. It just feels,

it feels, it feels like a very pathetic, I mean they're babies. I don't think they feel, I don't think they feel humiliation yet. Yeah. That comes in maybe second grade. Yeah. That would have to be like a body swap comedy where like a guy, like an adult man, became a baby again. And then he was like embarrassed by having to like be changed. Oh, he looks down at his baby weenie and it's like. He's a baby weenie at small, yeah. Don't judge me. It's cold in here. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica.

That's right. Why? So I'm going to Costa Rica with the family. It's going to be a lot of fun. Gonna maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Gonna maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. Hey, that sounds like a heck of a vacay. And you know what? Knowing some Spanish might be helpful down there. And if you have an upcoming summer trip abroad, my go-to travel hack is Babbel. Whether you're a season traveler or embarking on your first adventure, communication is key to fully experiencing a new culture. That's where Babbel comes in. Babbel is the language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions.

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We offset 100% of our delivery admissions to your door, source 100% renewable energy for our production sites and offices, and feature sustainably sourced seafood in our meals. Head to factormeals.com slash doughboys50 and use code DOBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. That's code DOBOYS50 at factormeals.com slash DOBOYS50 to get 50% off your first box. Do it. Welcome back to DOBOYS. We are here with our guest, David Nier, Marissa Pinson, discussing this week's chain Little Caesars, founded in 1959 in Detroit, Michigan, the third largest pizza chain in the U.S., and over 5,400 locations worldwide. Mitch, we are going to get to what you want to talk about, which is... Oh, it's my turn? Well, first of all, you cut me off

before I got to make a joke about the baby body swapping with me and thinking that there wasn't too much of a difference. That's good. At some point, we had to go to break. We were already 15 minutes over. And then I know we were over. I know we were over, but then the more important thing that I want to talk about is Dave's name here on... We have not discussed this. We haven't talked about Dave the Wave. On StreamYard, he has given himself the name Dave the Wave, which is very cool, very alpha. Yeah. It was a moniker I gave myself in elementary school. Wow. Because it rhymed. At the time, words like... I grew up in Oklahoma, but words like tubular and radical, it was the type of thing. I remember in craft time, I would write the words radical

and cool and tubular on a squirt bottle that we were all decorating. So, I was kind of like an ocean themed. I wanted that to be kind of me. So, Dave the Wave. And now you're out in sunny SoCal, so it worked out. Well, yeah. I mean, it's no coincidence that Dave the Wave moved out here. We go to the beach every once every three years. Do you know how I actually got here from Oklahoma? The So... Yeah. Yeah. No, nothing stupid like that, Mitch. I smelled the seawater like it was a tasty food in a cartoon and I floated here. Do you see what I'm saying?

That makes sense. Yeah. I'm sorry that I... So, don't say stupid shit. I like Dave the Wave. And also, I think you should check out Star... The Star World and Super Mario World because there's a lot of levels there. Tubular... There are. Yeah. Tubular famously difficult level. Yeah. Tubular is a tough one. Yeah. What are the other ones? Fantastic. I think there is a radical. You know what? I'll look up the Super Mario World map,

but what we're doing is... This sounds right up my alley, guys. Thank you. It's cool as hell. But while I'm doing that, and Dave, I'm curious about Oklahoma in particular, but both of you, what are your pizza preferences? What do you like on some za? Yes. Well, Oklahomans dip their pizza in ranch and I'm no different. I do that far less than I used to, but that was a very common occurrence. We're talking crust or front tip? The from tip to tail ranch on every bite. It was shown to me probably around the time I became Dave the Wave and I kept at it until adulthood. Now, I don't do it anymore.

It's just kind of... I moved here and I noticed no one else was doing it. So I said, I've got to grow up. I've got to stop eating chicken veins and I got to stop dipping my pizza in ranch. So that was my dip of choice. Babe, give us a little pizza history. Well, as somebody who's never been a big meathead, pizza is like... I was really picky eater growing up. So I've eaten cheese pizza. That was probably 90% of my diet from birth to now. I remember mentioning, because we did the Costco pizza episode, that I don't think any pizza is improved by toppings except cheese.

I think cheese is the only topping that belongs on a pizza. I'll have a mushroom just to mix it up. Maybe an olive. Somebody who doesn't put off a lot of water. But my big gripe about these supreme pizzas or these veggie pizzas is that it's like pouring a bucket of water on your damn za. And you're missing that browning of the cheese, which is what makes it so yummy in the first place. No, it's a fair point. I'm not sure if I'll go all the way with you on that no pizza is improved by toppings. But I think there is a case for cheese pizza is the best pizza. Like cheese pizza is just so satisfying. You get a good slice of that good char. I'll take that walk. That's your baseline as well, isn't it? You judge a pizza place by its

cheese. I'm a cheese pizza guy. And I don't know if any pizza is improved with toppings. I think cheese pizza is the baseline for me. And I usually think it is the best version of it. If you went to a party and there was just cheese pizza, would you be disappointed or is that like, oh, that's that's great. I'd be perfectly fine if it was just cheese pizza. I would not care. I would be happy. I'd beaten a bunch of slices of it. And also then there wouldn't be like a thing of, oh, now this one's gone and people didn't get the one they want. But then this one is here. And there's too much of that one. You got just all cheese, which look, I'm gonna amend what I said, because I think that there's maybe what I said is a distinction without a difference.

You're right. If I'm saying cheese pizza, if I'm saying I agree with you that cheese pizza is maybe the best pizza and you're saying that no pizza is improved with toppings, that's fundamentally the same thing. And so I'm not gonna forget my lukewarm take. I'm gonna say I agree with you. I think no pizza is improved with toppings. Wow. Wow. This is huge. We're in the handholding club because I totally agree with you guys. Wow. Wow. Wow. People are gonna be so mad at all four be worked up by this. And maybe if you're a meat eater, maybe I know people really like those curly pepperonis, those ronis that kind of like curl up, make a little bowl of grease. And yeah, I mean, you know, there's people are gonna say it, but you're thinking about just the best version of

pizza. And you know what we've been jamming on lately, which is akin to Little Caesars, because I think this is their thing. Detroit style pizza, there's a place around here called Town Pizza, and they have just these big honkin Detroit style pizza slices and the corners are, the crust is just so dripping in this like delicious buttery grease that like, I mean, that's kind of its own thing. It's like, it's not like a big floppy slice, but boy, it's good. It was available at the place that we're talking about today. Yes. I want to say you're saying that you feel old and then I hear a lit and jamming on. You're still using the lingo. I mean, I guess the party was too loud for you guys. The party was too loud, which kind of takes away our cool cred. We've been

saying that things slap like the new apple crisp macchiato, the seasonal drink from Starbucks. To me, it's better than the pumpkin spice latte. And I would say it totally slaps. Wow. It totally slaps. You guys have to try it. Us using the word slaps is how slaps stops being used by kids. So some kids listening to this right now saying like, okay, slap is off the table. Slaps is... Cross it off the list. Speaking of cool slang, so Mitch, I brought up the list of the levels that are in the special zone in Super Mario World. If you remember, there's the Star World, and then when you would find all the secret eggs of the Star World, you progress to the special

zone. That's right. So in the special zone... Let's fucking hear them. Here's what you got in the special zone. Let's hear it. Narley. Narley's good. Tubular. G-N-A-R-L-Y. Is that Narley's? That's right. Yeah, I want you to spell each one. Okay. Tubular. T-U-B-U-L-A-R. Tubular. Very good. So Cal's spelling bee. Is this an SNL sketch? Way cool, awesome, groovy, mondo, outrageous, and funky. Mondo. That's pretty cool. There's no radical, but there is a mondo and there is a funky. Wow. That's pretty cool. Mondo. There should be Kongs in the funky one. This predated that. This predated funky. Predated for the birth of Funky Kong. Wow. Oh yeah. That's wild. Well, I mean, maybe not in a timeline,

but like in terms of, yeah, but in terms of when it was released. Yeah, Funky Kong and not, was not yet created. Well, I know that Super Mario World came out before Donkey Kong Country. Look, we don't have to get to, we're not going to get into this fight in front of Marys and Dave, but of course I know that. Again. We've had this fight too many times. You're trying to tell me, oh, you're trying to tell me that Donkey Kong Country came out after Super Mario World. No shit, you fucking asshole. Who do you think I am? What do you think this is? You said there should be a Kong at the end of Funky and I explained why there wasn't. It's Funky Kong. It's a joke. If you call that level Funky Kong when this game releases. I didn't say call it Funky Kong. I said he said he should make an

appearance. He should be in there somewhere. People would be like, what's that, what's he doing there? That's fun. It's a little tease at what Donkey Kong Country is going to show you in the future. They did not anticipate what Rare was going to do when they were handed the reigns of the Donkey Kong franchise and came up with Donkey Kong Country and iterated on it and added the character of Funky Kong. They did not anticipate that. That was in the future. This is fucking bullshit. All right, let's just get a little. Let's talk the food. Let's get this over with. So you were talking. You guys are okay. Yeah, we're fine. You were talking pepperoni earlier and that ties in with one offering they have right now at Little Caesars and I'm curious

of the two of you got this because I did their plantaroni, which is the field roast plant-based pepperoni that they are offering right now as a limited time, maybe ultimately a permanent menu item. What did you think of it? Did you get the plantaroni and what did you think? We got everything on the menu. We got one of everything I believe. Wow. I saw a picture and I believe this to be true. Including delivery because we had to have it delivered, including delivery fees, taxes, service charge, tip. I think it was $80, $80. Wow. Little Caesars. $78. Oh my God. It snuck up on me a little bit, but I did it for the love of the pod. So I don't want to start on a negative foot. That's just not a good look.

But you're asking me about those pepperonis. Yes. And I got to say, I stepped in dog shit earlier this week and now I've eaten dog shit. Oh my God. The pepperonis are like human. First of all, I thought it was human shit. That's something I'm hoping isn't true, but God, it had a squish like a human turd. It's possible. Yeah. Yeah. They were G-R-O-S-S. Mitch, you know what that smells, right? Don't say it. You know. Come on. I know you sound like that. Don't say it. Cross. Okay. It's a huge bummer. It's a huge bummer. Oh man. This is bad news.

I'm okay. Let me say this and let me disagree with you off the bat, though not, you know, voraciously. I thought these were actually pretty good. Wow. And I'll just say because I've had so much, first off, the fielderos hot dogs, I think, are pretty decent veggie hot dogs. And so I might have had a little bit of like, okay, this place does some good stuff. I might have had a little bit of that and my a little bit bias going in, but I do feel like this, these actually had the texture wasn't perfect, but I thought they actually had some seasoning, which is a lot of times the fake meat substitute you'll have are just like completely bland. And this actually was something of a

simulacrum of a proper pepperoni. That also could be. Here comes fucking simulacrum again. That also could be. Simulacrum. Simulacrum. That's the new ungepochka. Simulacrum. Simulacrum. Why is a simulacrum one of the worlds in the special world in Super Mario Land, Super Mario World? Yeah, that's after you finish Funky and locks that one. And a Kong is in that level. Weirdly. Oh, wow. You piece of shit. I'm still mad about that. I know when Donkey Kong Country came out. I wonder if part of it might be that I was eating like honestly one of the last meat dishes I had

in the year of Lord 2020 was before I stopped, I got off the meat train. I was pepperoni pizza. And so maybe that it's possible. I wonder if pepperoni was just like a craving that I didn't know I had. And so I was just like searching for anything that's possible. It could also be that it's just like having had pepperoni pretty recent, proper pepperoni pretty recently. I was like, oh, this is a pretty good approximation. Natalie, for what it's worth, agreed. She was like, this is better than I expected. I found it kind of semi decent. Now, that said, I would have rather just had a cheese pizza. I do think that this is back to your thesis. I do think this pizza was not improved by the addition of plantaroni, but I do think

if you were someone who was like, I'm not going to eat meat, but I have a craving for pepperoni, I think this could kind of scratch that itch. I don't know. That was my assessment. But let's talk about the rest of your... No, you're right. The seasoning was very well seasoned. It did have that kind of smoky quality that you would expect from pepperoni. I think for me, maybe my expectations were too high because I'm coming from a place where to me, you're never going to get a plant-based steak that's going to be good or a plant-based whatever. But pepperoni, in the same way that the ground beef or the beyond burger, to me, a pepperoni we should be able to do with no meat. It's so far removed from whatever it originally was that it feels like there should

be a better version of this. So maybe my expectations were too high. The texture was, it had like a soft... It didn't have the bounce that a pepperoni would have, like the chewy bounce. It had like... For sure. Almost like a putty kind of chew. We said it tasted like a dog treat when we bit into it. It had that kind of smoky, savory dog treat texture. Sure. Marissa just kind of snacks on begging strips. She was like, I know this taste. Wait a minute. I did say if we were to try it again, and maybe that's the thing, maybe that's like batch by batch. It could be different places, like how well these are crisped up. To me, it needed much more crisp and up. And I was even saying, I feel like if you pulled these

off and fried them in a little bit of oil or popped them in the air fryer or something, they would get a little bit more of that texture that you would want from a pepperoni. Fully agree the texture was the issue. I got to say that it was funny. And during the break, we were like, well, we had a dirty first half. And we're like, we'll clean it up in the second half. And then it's like, the pepperonis taste like dogs. Wait a week until we get to the calzone, man. Well, the calzone. So the plantaroni, which by the way, I like the name of it. And here's my fun name. It's really cute with plant based pepperoni. I think that they need to be thinner. Like they just that need to have a very thin, thin, thin slice of that fake meat because

and I don't know every time I've dealt with it. And I don't know how it was with you guys. Were they thin because the pepperoni at Little Caesars is thin. It's thin as hell. And are these guys a little thicker? Are they a little meteor wise? Or what's the deal? They're not super thin. They're not particularly thick or thin. I think they're kind of just like you know, median thickness pepperonis. I mean, that was lacking the Christmas around the edge. Did you guys have really lunchable pizzas when you were a kid? Those pizza lunchables came with like a kind of like a thick cracker as the crust and a little packet of sauce. And it came with the stack of like four pepperonis. Yeah, this kind of tasted like that, like a pepperoni kind of

like straight out of the fridge that like texture of like, there's no chew, there's no, you know, there's no tear to it. It was just like, yeah, way too, way too soft and dog treat like. Yeah. I will say though, I got the slices and stick plantaroni. So it's, and I do like this most, most of chain pizza places, I don't care for the breadsticks, but I do feel like the cheese sticks at Little Caesars are a delight. They're garlicky, they're buttery, they got a lot of cheese and that crazy sauce, which is just a marinara sauce, especially if you warm it up a little bit is great for dipping. So the slices six plantaroni you get or any of their slices in six pizzas, you get four slices of pizza and then the other half is eight Italian cheese sticks.

And I got one of those and I will say those cheese sticks were delightful. I really like them. I think they're always consistent. That I thought I ordered and then I didn't. So I will say my favorite bite of the night was my very first bite. It was the cheese stuffed crazy bread. Did you, have you had that? I don't know if I've had that specifically. It's a big rope of cheese. It's almost like I'm the diameter of like a string cheese, like in the crazy bread. No, I haven't. I'm looking it up now. Yeah, but softer. It was like melted and then you dunk that in some crazy sauce and we got that a buffalo ranch and we were kind of dunking in that or kind of dunking in the plain ranch,

but that was good. I mean, I had that garlicky powder on top that gives a lot. It's the best. I think that is the best bite at Little Caesars that dipped into that sauce. Plantaroni and these were not available at my Little Caesars. I couldn't get either of them. But yeah, I went to the Little Caesars in Roslindale and they weren't available there, but I liked the crazy bread wise. My mom didn't like it. She was not a fan, but I thought they were a little too crazy for her, but I think that they they're pretty decent as far as because like a lot of other breadsticks that you get from places that are not like buttery or seasoned or whatever and like are kind of like just like

hard, cold messes. Here's what I will say though, and I think you guys will agree with this, is that that crazy sauce should be heated up somehow. It's just kind of like. You got to heat it up. It comes cold. It came ice cold. Yeah, it's cold. When you said that, Wags, I was like, yes, why didn't I think of that? I ate a whole meal with ice cold. Yeah. Crazy sauce. It's like, and we even said it, it's cold. God, it would be better if this wasn't cold

as if that technology didn't exist to quickly heat it up. We're judging the meal based on, you know, there wasn't instructions to warm it up, so we just. That's true. We're going as Chef intended. The sauce is intended to be ice cold. And there were no real instructions on like how to eat it, so I like kind of just like shoved it down my throat. I actually think that's a fair point, though. I think if it included like a little, I think it should say a little thing on the plastic tenant comes in, the plastic container

comes in that says like, hey, this is microwaves, even if it just said microwave safe on it, even if it just some sort of indication that like, oh yeah, maybe I should warm this up, because it is honestly a lot of pizza, a lot of chain pizza places, if you order like a side of marinara or whatever, it will come a little warmed up. It'll be in the box with the pizza, so it'll be kind of a little insulated. Yeah. Yeah, this comes cold. And a lot of their other sauces are just kind of like, you see the sauces behind the counter. I went in and picked this up and it was like, the sauces were just like, on a shelf behind it, just kind of sitting there, including the

crazy sauce. But mine was cold, so I don't know if mine was refrigerated, but there was just some crazy sauce just sitting out, basically, which I also don't know if is great. But there was a lot of things to dip. I went with a lot of stuff stuff. Wags, what did you get, Wags? Well, let's talk about the crazy calzoni cheese. Which was an item that I got, and I know our guests got, and Mitch, I assume you got one of the crazy calzonis if it was offered in your area? I got, speaking of cold, I got one of the crazy calzonis as well. No. Well, Dave Marissa, what did you think of this bad boy? I took a bite of the pizza and I thought, okay, that's fine, that's pizza. And then I went around

the back end to see what was going on with this calzoni portion. And it was... Yeah, I mean, describe it maybe. It's kind of like a pinwheel almost. It's not like closed, like a calzone. It's like the center is pizza, and then it kind of like blossoms into like a lotus of like, of cheese, because there was a meat one and a cheese one. I'm assuming you got the cheese one, and it blossoms with this. I can't remember what they called the sauce. What did they call that cheese sauce in the calzone part? Garlic white sauce. Okay. Plus it has a size of crazy sauce for dipping, which is the brand name.

It... I found that sauce, that sauce to be very come like. And that's not to say in a good way, because I know there's a lot of people out there who love eating come, but I don't. And it was foamy almost, or like, what was... It had a froth. And it was kind of hard to discern. It's like, it didn't feel like an Alfredo sauce. It didn't feel like it melted cheese. It was kind of living in this like, no man's land, texturally and flavor wise. I don't know what would have made it better, but it just... With no other ingredient other than sauce, there was quite a bit of it, and it didn't seem to add anything good to the pizza. I don't think I would have...

I wouldn't have minded it if there wasn't so much. Maybe if it was just like the sauce on a pizza within like mozzarella sprinkled over it, and we have like a white pizza. But it was just like, they wanted us to have a two by two inch volume of that in one bite, you know? Yeah. It was too much. I agree. I mean, mine wasn't like... I don't remember mine being frothy, but I do remember it just sort of being like... I didn't love it. I will say that my overall assessment of this thing, this weird clover-like object that you got that's not really a pizza, not really a calzone, it's... And it is pre-cut, so you can kind of pull it apart into little wedges. For something that was like loaded with cheese and this garlic white sauce, a ton of cheese too,

it really didn't have much flavor. It all kind of just tasted like a gooey nothing, except for the parmesan dusting on top, which I thought actually salvaged it a bit. But without the crazy sauce, without the dip in sauce, I mean, it was like a savory Danish. That's how we thought of it. It was like, this is like if you got a Danish for breakfast and then it had no sugar in it. It was a very bizarre food stuff. And honestly, I didn't... I like the pizza way, and the cheese sticks way better. Mitch, what did you think? I'm going to just show you mine. Mitch is holding up his phone. Okay, Mitch is showing us a picture of Dixie... Dixie Dynamite. This is what mine looks like. That looks insane. Yeah, that looks insane.

It was just such a mess. It was like an alien resurrection wise when like Sigourney sees her. It's like one of the kill me. It's like a kill me, like a little kill me thing. Like the pizza should be saying kill me. It looks insane. It's a monstrosity. And maybe that's just a volume of... Because that's like overflowing with sauces and cheese. It's like just dial back the toppings by like 25%. The pizza guy needs to come and put that pizza out of its misery by stashing it with his little sphere. Pizza, pizza. Yeah, that's rough. No, it was a mess. It was a huge mess. And look, I like that Little Caesars is trying to be like a little bit like Taco Bell in the

Franken Foods area because I do think that they do some stuff really great. And I like Little Caesars and going into today, I was like, is it going to be Platinum Play Club for me? That's where my head is at just to let you know. And we'll see what happens. But I, this new one did not hit it all in when I bit into the calzone. That cheesy thick center, it was like kind of cold. It wasn't hot. So like this is, it was just a mess. It was just a mess all around. Like, yeah, it was kind of, it was still kind of cold. So this was just a thumbs down. It just doesn't, it just doesn't, it doesn't work at all. Yeah, it's a bummer. It's a bummer. It doesn't work. And it just,

there's a lot of things wrong with it. I think Marissa, you're right. Just the amount of stuff they put on it, but like the design is off. You know, there's just, there's, there's just a lot of shit that's, that's not working on it. And they, and they, you know what? It's limited time, just never bring it back. It's, it was a failure. It just doesn't, it doesn't work. The thing about these, these experiments, these Franken Foods, it's like, for me, as like someone who hasn't had Little Caesars in a little bit, I'm coming back. I'm like, okay, I remember Little Caesars. I loved it as a kid. And it's like, okay, I'll take, I'll take this new crazy thing. Oh, it tastes like shit. Well, it might be a while, Little Caes.

Like they're just not leading with their best foot. If they're throwing this shit out there, that's not ready for prime time. This is the, yeah, this is the issue. I fully agree with you. And this is the issue. Sometimes I think we run into even doing the pod of like, okay, well, hey, it's been, it's been a couple of years since we did Little Caesars with our, with our friend John Ross Bowie and, you know, we had it in the pizza tournament, but we like, let's see what's going on with it now. And so we try their limited time item. And just like the stuff, the staples of the menu are so much better than their limited time offering. And so like there's an instinct to, yeah, I want to try this new thing. I want to try this thing that they're, this thing they're

experimenting, but it's just like for the calorie hit, just give me some, just give me a straight up slice of pizza. Like, like just a, just a hot and ready cheese pizza would have been better than anything that I got here. And yeah, and that is absolutely for sure. And with the, we did also get a few of the things that we knew would be more likely that we would like them. Like, while the crazy bread to me was, maybe it suffered a little bit in the time until it got to us and I ate it. Like in the same way, like an olive garden red stick does, like, that's a little like, time is ticking as soon as that thing comes out of the oven, you know what I mean? And it was a little hard and a little dry. And that's what I thought was going to be a real

home run. But the thin crust, we also got the thin crust pizza, which I, which I knew would be pretty good and it was, and it was just the thin crust cheese. It's on that like super cracker thin crust. I think it's like seven bucks for like a big one. And that feels like, you know, pretty solid. That's a low risk. That's a low risk order. It's a good deal. I got one of those myself. The, the, it's the extra most bestest. Is that the one you got? Yeah. Thin crust cheese pizza. And I thought that was pretty good. It was good. Like as comparable to Domino's in many ways. I mean, Domino's actually may have them beat on thin crust pizza. But here's the thing Domino's has over little Caesars is that you can't, if you get the extra most bestest, they were

just offering it with cheese or pepperoni. That's when I said I want the thin crust, I said cheese or pepperoni. And I don't know if you can put any veggies or anything else like that. You can, you can, you can create your own pizza, I believe, but I don't know if you can do it with the, with the thin crust. I don't know if that, at least the store I was, they didn't give me that option. But that they wouldn't offer that. Like, yeah, I feel like just throw it on it. Yeah. Yeah. Put all those, put veggies on it. Cause I was going to do a veggie thin crust and then the extra most bestest cheese. I was like, I'll just get that as a baseline and maybe you can. But when I got to the store, I, I said to her, I said, and I got the thin, the thin crust

and she said pepperoni or cheese. And I said cheese. So it seemed like those are the two base options. Why? So are you, are you looking into this right now? Yeah, I was trying to find this and let me see. At least online. The menus are hard. The, the, this is, it's one of those places where the, and I feel like this is all chain restaurants now, the menus are harder to navigate because you have to put in your location to sit, to, in order to even view the menu. That was really weird. It's like, I had to like, like, yeah, to give them a personal information before even just knowing what kind of pizzas they had. That seemed like really bizarre. Maybe that just is because the menu offerings vary so much from like place by place. Like they didn't have the,

I think that's what it is. The plantaroni where, you know, where Mitch is. So they don't want to, you know, give you misinformation. Well, I had a call, I had a call in my order too. I don't want to say that the app is crap wags, but the app is kind of crappy. But which, which is, which is a bummer. So I'm in here right now. I'm going to try to, I'm going to try to build my own, create my own pizza. And let's see here. Yeah, see, are you just, are you just ordering lunch? It's okay if you're just ordering lunch. No, I'm going to make myself a sandwich upstairs, a piece of shit. But no, here are the options round stuff, crust round, deep, deep dish, and then stuffed crust, deep, deep dish. So there's no option for that, for that thin crust. I

couldn't. And so when I, when, so when I called up the store, this is what happened. I was trying to put in the order through online. I download the app and the same thing happened. And I couldn't use the app because it wouldn't accept my order either online or on the app. And so I called up and she's, I said, and a, an extra most best is thin crust. And she said pepperoni or cheese. So in my mind, that's what I, I, I assumed that those are the only two options. Now, can you get more stuff on it? Possibly because you can alter a lot of things, but it seems like those are the baselines and you can't order online or through the app. So, so there you go. But it was, it was tasty. It was, it was good enough. It was, it was, it was, it was decent. It wasn't

my bite of the night. My bite of the night, my bite, so I knew what my bite of the night was probably going to be before. So, so I'm going to, I'll get into my other, my, my, a couple other pizzas I got here. I went with a deep, deep dish pepperoni and then a stuffed crust, deep, deep dish, half cheese, half a sausage and onion and wags, all of those were good. The, the, the, the deep, deep dish, the deep, deep dish pepperoni. I'm like, this is like one of the best delivery pizzas there is. I love it. I love, I love, I really, really, really like the deep, deep dish pepperoni. I think it's great. And I remember back in the, and now it's been around for a while because I remember to bring them up again. That's probably why I'm thinking of them.

Harris Whittles was like, that looks good. I'm going to get it. I was like, I thought that looked good too. And I went over his house one night and it was there. And that was the first time I tried it and I heated it up a slice and I was like, this is great. And then I went and got it myself. And I thought it was great. I loved it. And I haven't had it for a while. I probably haven't had it in a couple of years, the deep, deep dish. And it was still good. And you know what? Mama Mitchell approved Whikes. She liked it. Wow. Wow. Cause you, I mean, you're, you're making your own pizzas. You're like, you're Mr. Slice. Like this is, this is insane that, that little Caesar's deep dish is getting such a highly, highly esteemed,

you know, seal of approval. I will say that my mom did say that she liked my pizza better. She did, she did, she did, uh, she, she did, uh, she did that. And she, she, but she was like, I like, she was like, I like this. She's like, this is as good. This to me is the Dixie dynamite of pizzas. That's what she said. And I, and I, and I agreed with her. And then she played my melons like a steel drops and ran out of the room. Oh wow. You know, maybe it wasn't, maybe it wasn't like a, just a location issue. I don't know. I mean, cause we also got the deep, deep dish. Yeah. Mitch, you texted me that deep, deep, deep dish is real good. Something along those lines. I don't want to misquote you, but I think you said that's real good, good, good in the text.

I did. I gave it my seal of approval. I did tell you that that was a little, I think I actually even worded it as here's a little tip. Deep, deep dish is good. Like I thought I was being a little sneaky. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's also what you say when you send a dick pic. Here's a little tip. Little dick pic is right. I mean, what is this? I'm looking at it right now and I'm like, is there a penis in this picture? Here's my, here's my deal. This always pisses me off. When I upload one of my dick pics, it's like not even a gig. It's not even a megabyte. It's like, I upload mine. It's like one kilo bite. It's like, is this a thumbnail? And it's like, no, that's the image. More of a pube pic than anything. Thumbnail works both ways. That's scenario.

Then we got the deep dish too. And my, my gripe is I can't believe that I have to say this, but it wasn't salty enough. Oh my God. The dough to me was so blank and there's so much of the dough. Like it's, it's mostly dough as a deep dish Detroit style pizza is. Right. And to me, it was just lacking in flavor and it just made like for like a, I don't know, almost like a, it's almost just like a little undercooked. It was a little kind of like squishy. Oh no. But it's, and you know, you're making pizzas. You have to add salt to dough to like give it that good, yummy flavor. And this was really like lacking that. Yeah. Or is that a soggy, soggy center? A soggy center and bland. And yeah, the cheese had no flavor.

Well, and, and also like, as you were saying earlier, when you, you heap all those veggies on there, I mean, cause those veggies aren't necessarily seed. Well, I mean, at a place like this, they're not going to be seasoned. They're just kind of like, you know, that, that's just adding to the blandness. And that might have been the moisture that I was sensing in the dough. Yeah. Well, I was like, I need you to do a joke fact check. Is it, is kilo bigger? Was that, did it not work? Is kilo bigger? No, you're right. No. KB. Kilobyte. Those are, that's smaller. Tiny. All right. Great. I did, I did, I did well. And, and also I want to say that I did well. I think you said kilobyte. Kilobyte. Oh, fuck off. That's one of those things where

like the, I think the, it's like, if you look back at that, all of the computer on this, on the space shuttle, or like, no, the computer on the, like the Apollo mission that got to, to, to the moon was like, it was like, it had like 16 K of RAM or something. It was like such a, like a, it was like a, like an amazingly limited computer. It was like the, the power of like a, a graphing calculator. And it fucking got them to the moon. And it was, it was just a picture of Neil Armstrong's wife, right? So that he could, so he could jack off in space. Yeah. He had a JPEG of his wife, so he could jack off. And then, and he let Buzz look at it. And Neil's, and they were all okay with it. Neil's wife was fine with it. Yeah. There's a bit of a, yeah, there's a bit of a

cucking situation there. It's a hot wife sort of thing. It's the astronauts code, you know, everybody. Right. You're a nasty, you know. Um, I, I, I had an issue where I had too much salt. And that was with the calzoni, the cows. So I, I should, I should say that my, my calzoni had pepperoni on it. And we talked about it a little bit, but there's also like diced up pepperoni in the calzoni. Like it's like, it's not just like pepperoni rounds. There's like diced up meat pepperoni. Like cubes, like tiny cubes. Yeah. Kind of like, kind of like cubes. And it was fucking, it was a salty, that thing was, that thing was really a mess. You know what? It was funky and not the good way. Wags. It was, it was a, it was the bad version of not funky, not tubular,

not Mondo. It was, it was funky. That was like one of those funkies. Um, but, but my, but my, I will say my deep dish was well done. And I got the stuffed crust deep dish. And that was actually, they did a good job with it. I think the center of it was a little bit more like soggy, like what you like. You guys are saying a little bit more funky, but for the most part it was, it was still pretty good. And I think that they actually do, they actually did a good job for stuffed crust pizza because I actually don't think stuffed crust pizza is ever really that great. But I also got a pepperoni and cheese stuffed crust pizza. So that is one of the, it's one of the, uh, pizzas, just the regular extra most best is pepperoni pizza. But then the crust is stuffed

with pepperoni and cheese. And that was actually pretty good too. That was probably the second best pizza. But my bite of the night was the one that I knew that would, it would be was the, yeah, the deep, deep dish pepperoni. I got it specifically for my mom and sister. And then the onion and sausage was hitting all right too. But because it was the stuffed crust, it was just like not as good of a cook. Like the cook wasn't as good, but it sounds like you guys got a bad cook on that one. Yeah, I think we got a bad batch. Yeah. Well, it was a bad cook, but I don't know. It might have been, you know, the order you eat a meal, especially when you start off with a, with a bite of crazy sauce, which is so good. I really like the, the

stuff crazy bread and the dipped in the sauce. Yeah. So my first bite was like really zesty, really like flavorful. Love that sauce. And then the second bite was the deep dish. And it was like, it tasted like air. It was like a less good version because they're all like dough and cheese and sauce, but this was just like a less good version of that. You know, you dipped that in the sauce. I think the sauce could save most all items on the little Caesar's menu. You just like dip it enough. I wish I came with that. Nick, what you said, the little parmesan, little crusty balls that like get sprinkled on like the crazy bread, to me, all the flavor is in that. Like the crazy bread tastes like nothing, except it's coated in those little dusty

balls. Yes. I want like a shaker of those to like put on everything. Yeah. They do have shakers of something you can buy there. And I couldn't tell quite what it was. I didn't, I didn't see it on the app, but when I went on store, they had some shakers behind the counter that I hadn't noticed before. So I can maybe buy like their Italian seasoning. Maybe you can buy their parmesan crumbles and whatever else they got there. I'll say this, speaking of dips, beyond the crazy sauce, I think Caesar has some S tier dips. I think they get some really, really good dips. They've got a buffalo ranch. They've got a conventional ranch, a butter garlic and a cheesy jalapeno. I got all four. I regularly will get the, you know, their buttery garlic because I think it's pretty good

and their cheesy jalapeno. However, their buffalo ranch is a revelation. That's such a good sauce. I really, really like it. Yeah. Give me a ranch with just a little bit of heat and a little bit of that, that, that buffalo tinge. I thought that was great. And that woke up so much of the, so much of the blander aspects of this meal. I really enjoy the dip and sauces. Why? Cause I got all four of them too. I got the ranch dip, cheesy jalapeno dip, buffalo ranch dip and the buttery garlic dip. I like all of them too. I think the buttery garlic dip is salty. It is very salty, but they're all pretty good. And then I got two orders of the crazy sauce because it came with it. And again, that's cold. But the buttery drip, sometimes you'll

get that from Puppet John's and it'll be solid. The buttery dip was, was nice and, uh, and, uh, the, what, what's the word I'm looking for? Viscous. It had a nice visquid. Oh, liquid. Yeah, liquid. The, the, the buttery garlic sauce was liquidy. So that was, so that was good. But yeah, I think all the, I think all the dipping sauce, and you know what, it's fun to dip your crazy bread in the crazy sauce, but then I'll see you dip it in. Yeah, like you were saying, you dip it in. So the, the garlic sauce, the ranch sauce, I was having fun. But wigs, speaking of oops all veins, I also got some Caesar wings, Buffalo style. Oh boy. And they were good. No, there was, it was, it wasn't oops all vein. Not a vein in sight. There were, these were, these were

vein lists. It's like, wow, there were no, or you can order them vein lists. It comes like on the app. There's a box, vein lists. It's basically like my body. You can't see a vein on my body, basically. It was the same thing. A muscle guy, Ron Perlman. You see all the veins. You see every one of his veins. Yeah. Me, you can't see a single one. How do they take your blood? They have to use the main vein. They use the main vein, which as we've already stated, it's tough to find. It's, that's harder to find than a regular vein. Bring me the microscope. But, but, uh, the wings were good. My mom and sister and agreed that my mom's sister and I all agreed they were pretty good wings. Uh, yeah, I think better than dominoes. Honestly,

they're cheap. You know, they're cheap wings, but this gets to another point about little Caesars. I got a shit load of food and it was like under 70 bucks. Like I mean 100%. Well, I didn't get that much food, but I will say that like I got, you know, two pizzas, a dessert, which I haven't talked about, and an appetizer and, you know, a bunch of sides. And yeah, it's, it's, it's, and that's like, you're, and that's kind of like going for it at Little Caesar. What all of us did is we were like, we're like, let's go for it. Let's try a few different things. If you're just trying to like feed your family on a budget, you can get out of there for under 20 bucks easy. Yes. For sure. That, that's my memory of Little Caesars growing up. Like

that was like the working man's pizza, like pizza hut, pizza hut. I remember it's like $14 for a pizza. Like my dad will never be able to afford that. And I was kind of right. And the, but the pizza pizza, it was two pizzas came like on a piece of cardboard with like paper over it. Remember that? Right. You'd like tear into it. And there's always two pieces, two pizzas. Yeah. The old double box. Yeah. And I feel like it was so cheap. I can't even remember five, $10, $5 per pizza, maybe. I remember, yeah. I remember $10 for two, the, you know, the hot and ready they introduced in recent years, semi recent years. And that's just, it's five bucks for a whole pizza that's just ready to go. I mean, it's, it's like, it's,

it's an incredible value. And also say this for pickup on the app. They have the pizza portal now at some locations. And that's a nice little glimpse of the future. You walk right in there. You scan your QR code on your phone from your order and then a little like Amazon locker with pizza in it opens up and you just take your order out and you're out of there. That's really cool. Yeah. It's pretty nifty. That's really cool. It's kind of like what my locker was like in high school. You wish. We also got the dessert. Did you guys, did you get dessert? Sorry, Mitch.

I got dessert as well. Yeah. We all got the dessert. Let's get into it. Let's talk about it. Well, I got the cookie dough brownie with the M&M's mini chocolate candies. What did you guys get? Same thing. And I think we, we saw it. I don't know if we knew what it was before we bit into it. So I think that added to our confusion at first bite. I think it looks like it is a product that they have at Trader Joe's, which is very good. It's called a brookie and it's a brownie with a cookie on top like in slices like bars and it's phenomenal. It's so good. And so I saw this, I saw a brownie on the bottom cookie on top. I was expecting something similar to that. And let's just say it was not, it was, it was not bad.

Yeah. Not super exciting. Talk about liquid. Like that top, that top was liquid. I was, I wasn't expecting two different textures to that degree. Yeah. We thought it would be like a baked item on top, but it is like a smear. It's almost like a peanut butter texture of cookie dough with mini M&M smashed into it. Yeah. It's described as a cookie dough frosting. Oh, okay. We didn't know that. So that, yeah, that's definitely, it's more descriptive. Yeah. It doesn't, it doesn't indicate that and it only says that in the description if you click through. And I will say for, to something, to your point, Dave, for something that is so like melty and liquidy, it's that, but it's also room temp.

So it just kind of like was like a melted candy bar. It was kind of an unpleasant texture. And, and I just, if this was, if this was warmed up, the reason to get a dessert in a pizza place is that it, you get a nice and toasty in that pizza oven. And this is another thing that just came. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. And this is another thing that just came room temp. And so it was just like, I, I, I not worth the calories. I don't know. What did you think of your dessert, Mitch? I, I, I thought it actually was like tasty. When I was, so when I ordered it, I thought it was something that they baked. Like I thought it was, and it just kind of comes in packages. Yeah. Yes. And so before I left, I just like had a hunch, like I, which by the way, within the last

two hours of this place closing on Labor Day, ordering all this, this shitload of pizza, I gave, I gave her, I gave her, I gave them tips. Well, I gave generously. I gave, I gave a generous tip. But I, but I, but it was, it was Labor Day. And I, and I, and I was just like, I feel so back coming in here on Labor Day. I, I try so hard to not like do any shopping or do any, like, you know, go to any restaurants on Labor Day, because I just like, this is people, these places should be closed. This should be, this is meant to be like a day off for workers. And now it's just become the fully like, no, the Labor Day is like Black Friday now, which is like another day of like shopping and like brunch. It's just another day for fucking consumers to spend money. And

then the, you know, the fucking working class pay for, that's, that sucks. That's good. That's good. You tipped well, Mitch. I tipped him because I, but I also had a hunch. I was like, I don't think that the, the, the brownie cookies are here. So I said, are the brownie cookies in there? And she said, nope. And she, and she's like, I forgot them. And she went back to the back and then brought them out. And they were just like two, she, just these two sleeves of these, these, like it just isn't, when you look at it online, you think, which by the way, the staff was great. They were doing a great job. They had, they had a ton of orders even while I was there. Just like continually hustling, getting these things out. And then I thought that, but

I thought that these things would be baked. I thought they were made and they're just kind of prepackaged. I didn't think they were that bad though. I kind of, I kind of, I kind of liked the taste of them, but I understand the feeling of like, why don't you just go full cookie on top? Why isn't it just half brown? Like the frosting, I don't know if the frosting works as well as they want the, the cookie dough frosting works the way they want it to work. I think if I don't know when it was cookie dough frosting, it would have been less disarming, but like when you're expecting a cookie and you bite into it and it's just like, and it's so liquid, it was a little like, did something wrong happen with this?

Yes. Did they not finish baking this? And to pay like the price of a, again, it's a little Caesar's, it's budget friendly, but to pay the price of like a chain restaurant or a fast food dessert for something that's essentially like a hostess snack. It's in plastic and a sleeve. It's just, it just wasn't worth it. But that was, that in the calzone were my only real letdowns. I think the rest of the meal, which I guess was two other items, but the rest of the meal I enjoyed quite a bit. Yeah. I mean, I feel like if you go and you, if you get that stuffed crazy bread and you go nuts with the dips, like you're going to have a good time. Yeah. I really, I know we've already covered it, but I did like the very thin crust cheese pizza. That, that rocked my world.

It was a normal nice pizza. There was so much of the meal that was like not Mando, if that makes sense. That it like tainted the whole experience where I kept asking questions like, why, why is that? Ew, what's that? Like, so like I left the meal, you know, this kind of sounds like a final thought rant, but I'll save that for moments from now. It also was fun that those thin crusts, they, they cut them into those squares. That's really fun. Yeah. I do like that. Love a tavern cut. Dave, you're so rich you think little teasers, not Mando. Please don't say it another four times. Protect the children. Where'd you get that tennis

ball? Let's get to our final thoughts. Let's get to our final thoughts on little teasers. So both veterans of the podcast, you know how this worked, but we just go around, give a closing argument and end with our fork score from zero to five. Dave, let's begin with you. Okay. So I, you know, a working man's pizza. Why do I want to dog on it? It's value friendly. It's, if you just eat the basics like that thin crust cheese pizza, and I guess it's not very basic, but those stuffed cheese dipped in the ice cold crazy sauce was a pretty good bite. It was a really good bite. I wish I had heated it up. That would have made it so much better. Like the stuff I did like, I really liked. And so to give it a fork score based on the

entire experience, it's going to be a lot lower because there was so much I didn't like. There was more that I didn't like than I did like. So then it drops me down in the twos, you know, where I'm like, that sucked zero for that, zero for that, four for that, four for that. So I'm going to, I'm going to call it three forks being generous. I gave me a little bit of a tummy ache. I mean, and I don't want you guys to get the feeling that I don't like pizza. I eat pizza all the time. I love pizza. We love, Marissa made a pizza the other day. Oh my God, so good. But it's just the basics. Good dough, cheese, sauce and cheese. And it was just delicious, like real cheese. Right. My issue with some of these fast food places is like, this cheese is

weird. There's something about this cheese that makes my tummy hurt or the greasy dough or something that like my, my mind and body say like, this isn't actually food or something. Like it's almost like, how can just like a cheat? I don't know. Anyway, this, this kind of falls into the poison territory for my mind. And with that said, three forks. Wow. Three forks. Marissa. You know, I, if I was just ordering this for myself, I wouldn't have gotten some of the thing. I wouldn't probably wouldn't have gone for the calzone. I probably wouldn't have gone for the deep dish because it just looks, I have kind of a sensitive tummy. I can kind of get the rumblies easily. Sure. I would have stick to what I know, which is the classics for me, which is just like

a plain cheese pizza, that thin crust pizza, crazy bread and sauces. Just all I need is bread and cheese and a little bit of sauce to be a happy gal. And, and I will be very happy with, with just that. And so for those things, they do them really well. I could see myself, you know, craving that thin crust cheese pizza wanting that. I might want to, it's kind of, I don't know if that's enough food for like a meal. I feel like you might need like something on the side with it, but the value like seven bucks for one of those, that's really good because you could get like, you know, two little meals out of that. That was, that was really good. And then the stuff crazy bread was also my favorite too. I feel like something went wrong with the deep dish. So I

don't, I don't want to completely, you know, criticize it for that because I feel like we didn't get the best version of that. If Mr. Slice is giving it the seal of approval and Mama Mitchell gives you, is it two thumbs up? I, I feel like something went wrong. So I'm going to kind of give it a pass on that. Oh, we also got a Siermus and a Pepsi, by the way. That's good. That's good. I have a reveal too. I'm going to say three forks one time. Wow. Three forks one time, 3.25 that translates to. But stick to the classics and don't go for the crazy gimmicks. They're not going to be as good as I get the stuff that they've been doing, doing for, you know, a hundred years. Wow. All right, Mitch. Well, I, uh,

it's funny because my, my experience was not that bad. I actually had a good experience, really. The big letdown was that Calzoni, which was like, you know, like a zero to one forks. It was in that, it was bad. My Calzone, my Calzone was just a mess. It was just almost, almost inedible. It was, it was really, it was really, why is it was funky? It was not, it was not, it was not funky. It was funky. It was, which could be the Canadian. Why doesn't, why doesn't the Canadian little Caesar man say something? Why does it say funky, funky? Why does it say something fun? Why does he, he says two pizzas. He says two pizzas, although there've been, apparently during the, when the hot and ready was introduced, he was saying hot and ready

in kind of the pizza, pizza cadence. And then he's, yeah. And there've been, there've been variants where he's said some, he's doubled up a word. Like he's not, not, not pizza pizza, but he said like, you know, whatever, Calzone, Calzone or whatever. Yeah. He's got to say, you got to say stuff twice. He's like the guy from Goodfellas. Right. He's got to say it twice. That's the, that's the fun of the little Caesars guy. I'm sorry to Canada. You don't get the full experience. Uh, but I, but I, I do get the full experience and I do like little Caesars. And yes, I think that the price point is great. Uh, this abomination, this Calzone was a nice try. It

didn't really work. Um, they do stuff, cross well, but I think you should just kind of stay away from stuff, cross things, unless they're these, these stuff, crazy bread, because now I want to try them. And I think that also feels more manageable as opposed to a pizza where it just kind of really changes the whole chemistry of the pizza. But I, I got the pepperoni and cheese stuff crust pizza, which was the extra most bestest pepperoni with the stuff. I didn't really touch on this too much, but it just didn't taste as good as like a regular extra most bestest pizza does with the stuff crust. Like that's a fun thing to have like a, like a little cheese stick in the, in the, in the crust, like you were saying, Marissa, but is it worth it? Not really. I don't need that.

So, so, so I say stay away from it. And honestly, the deep, deep dish piss, the deep, deep dish pizza stuff crust. Wait, what? The stuff crust, the stuff crust deep, deep dish pizza. Piss. No, no, no. You threw, you threw piss in there. I said piss? Yeah, you threw piss in there. Did I order a piss? Jesus Christ. The stuff, boys, a piss drinker. Backwards boy doesn't drink piss. That's not a part of his story. No, you suck piss back into your dick backwards way to piss. I put it in a toilet. I have to lay flat on the toilet. So the, the stuff crush, the stuff crust deep, deep piss pizza is it's good and they do it. They do a good version of stuff crust, especially for this deep dish pizza,

but the deep dish is just better. The deep, deep dish pizza is just better. So I say, just stay away from that stuff. I got it cause I'd never tried it before and I want to try the gimmicks, but the, the regular deep, deep, deep dish pizza, it hit and you know what, not only did my mom like it, Marissa, but she said, I said, I got to toss out all that little Caesars and my mom said, Oh, keep the deep, deep dish pizza. I might, I might, she didn't say piss. You keep the deep, deep dish pizza. I might freeze a couple of slices. That's what she said. Wow. So she's, she's going to sleep. She's going to, and, but she also did say it was not as good as Mr. Slices pizza, which I made

on Friday night. Why? So we've had a pizza heavy weekend, a Labor Day weekend. One thing I got also, which I didn't touch on this bad boy right here, this bottle of crush, grape soda, a two liter, you're not messing around a two liter. That's all that was in the lockers there and the fridges rather. And, and they had, they had, they had like the 20, is it 20 ounce bottles, but they were in a soda machine. It was a kind of a situation where I was like, interesting. I'm not going to get it out of the soda machine. So I got a crush, grape, and let me tell you, I just loved going into the pizza place and picking up a two liter bottle of soda, reminding me of all times crush, grape was fantastic. I drank like half the bottle,

which is probably 700 calories, but I, but I, I loved it. It really hit the spot. And wigs, I'm going higher than our guests. I'm sad they had a bad experience there, but I, but I, you know what? Having the calzone that I got, I understand that I've never, I've never really seen the, I haven't seen the, the, the kinks in the, in the armor here at Little Caesar's until today. But I still, to me, and so it's not going platinum plate club, but it's going to get four forks, four forks. That's my final score. I said four forks twice, but that still just counts as four forks. It's not eight forks. Two forks, two forks. So it's four forks. Okay. Great.

So we thought of that and ended it out so that it's just two forks. No, this is fine. Maybe it looks smarter. The, you know, last time we, we reviewed this chain and, and you know, our friend, Vinod from the Dose Squad is one of the people who maintains the Dough Boys Wikipedia and invaluable resource that we use on the show sometimes to see what we've said on previous episodes. It's always fucking dumb as shit. But if you knew, if you, if you, if you, if you didn't know that a guy from the Dose Squad ran it, would you say it's an invaluable resource? Um, no comment. No, I think we, I think it's, I think it's useful because I'm not sure like,

wait, when did we review this? Oh wait, 2019. Yeah, we can revisit it. It's been a while. It is useful for, it is very useful for us and also very sad in that I don't remember anything that we've ever done. I'm going to forget this episode as soon as we, as soon as we hit stop on the record button. It's, you know what? I could never forget this episode because of our two lovely guests, but other episodes. You're a charmer. I'm charmed. But I don't remember anything. So it is helpful and I can't believe we haven't, we've only been to this place twice. This is a, there's an exhaustive amount of work that goes

into this thing. We, we did the segment pie in this guy with Bowie for this episode. It's the clues are transcribed and the first, the first clue, Donkey Kong's gun that fires and spurt shares an attribute with this sweet pie. Again, Kong's on the episode regarding little Caesars. It's, why? I mean, also how many episodes have we not mentioned Kong's in? Is another question? Yeah. Probably zero. So we went high on that episode. Bowie gave it four forks. You gave it four forks one time. I went five forks. I had a, I had a, I had a wonderful experience. I went really high. I'm not going to go that high this time because the limited items were not up to par, but I do think their standard items and their dip and sauces are great.

And as David was saying, like this is, this is a, this is a great value. This is, this is, you know, if you're on a budget, this is a place where you can have something that's filling and satisfying and indulgent and that's to its, that's to its credit. The workers were great. The, the app I found worked well for me, although apparently that's your YMMV, your mileage may vary, but I really like Little Caesars and I like it as, I think it has its own little niche within the, the, the chain pizza sector. And for that reason, I'm still staying in golden plate club territory. I'm knocking off a couple of times. I'm going to say four forks two times, 4.5 forks. So Mitch, you and I are involved, are ballpark buds. Still, I think, I think for a, for a,

like kind of a down outing from Little Caesars, I still think it still did pretty well. Like, I feel like we all overall kind, you know, enjoyed at least parts of our meal. Yeah. What I liked, I really liked. And I, I hate being a Debbie Downer and you guys are so jazzed about it. I guess I'm just less forgiving as a person or something. Like you, right. You get, you know, I want to be, but it's like, you thought that tasted good. Wow. You lose it. You lose a time. You lose a whole damn fork, don't you? I think I'm comparing it to my, to what I believe is the best, which is Domino's,

because I'm not going to compare it obviously to like, you know, Michelangelo's Ristorante pizzeria, you know, something that's actually like real pizza, but to compare it to another fast food pizza, Domino's to me does it so much better. It's like, and is also in, you know, in a pretty good price range as well. So yeah, the stuff they did well, they did well, crazy stuff, crazy bread, go nuts with those dipping sauces, have yourself a damn ball. There you go. Well, hey, that was our view of Little Caesars. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. I got to say this before we go. I want you guys to break. I don't care. I'm not a break man. I don't play by the break rules. I don't do it. All right. I'll send us to break

right after this. Okay. I want our guests to go back to Little Caesars, not on the dough boys time this time. We'll come back tonight. You know, on the dough boys time and get yourself a deep, deep dish pizza and an extra most bestest, just the two plain versions of it. See if it works this time because I think that you will have a different experience. I'm sad that you had a bad experience. You know, I should try the deep dish, the deep dish, just a plain cheese, because I know that that's going to be more of my style anyway. I don't want a green bell pepper. Like, you know, why don't you green bell pepper on a pizza? What is that? That's like a homework vegetable. It's like I have to eat it like for nutrition. It's like eat it on the side, on a

salad. Don't like raise it to a temperature where it's inedible. That's just insane. We didn't have a bad time. We didn't have a bad time. Thank you for forcing us to eat that poisoned food. It was really good. I mean, it was a good time. The food was bad. We had a friend over and our friend took all of our leftovers home and he was finger swiping licking the cookie dough frosting off the brownie. I'm really enjoying that. Who is this freak? I got a picture of his wiped clean brownie after it had been licked off. It's on David's phone. They should send that guy to the factory because it seems like that frosting was issued. Now, Wigs, now we can go to break. We'll be right back with more dough boys. We'll be back with more dough boys. Fuck.

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Food Bank Wigs, Boston Baby, so you can eat good and do good all at the same time. All you have to do is sign up at wildgrain.com slash dough boys and choose which type of box you want to receive and how often. It's easy to reschedule, skip, or cancel. Plus, for a limited time, you can get $30 off the first box, plus free croissants in every box, when you go to wildgrain.com slash dough boys to start your subscription. You heard me, free croissants in every box and $30 off your first box when you go to wildgrain.com slash dough boys. That's wildgrain.com slash dough boys, or you can use promo code dough boys at checkout. Do it. Welcome back to dough boys. We're here with our guests, David Nier, Marissa Pinson, and hey, it's time for a segment.

It's time for a segment, and also it's time for a baby who has entered the frame. Cute little baby. And perhaps occasionally emoting, making a little bit of noise. So if you hear a baby, don't be concerned. Don't be alarmed. It's wigs. It's baby waggy. Uh-oh. He always, baby waggy always gets a little fussy towards the end of an episode. It's been several hours. He needs his snappies. He's looking at Dixie Dynamite. He needs his milk. Oh, shit. I hope you're thirsty, baby waggy. I don't trust that milk, man. It's going to come out so fast. It's like a fire hose. It's like Mitch's bidet. Full blast. I can't believe you go full blast. That's like,

an enema. Yeah, it works well on me. It's the only way I can feel anything. What was the, what was the SNL sketch you said earlier? The, it was it a, oh, SoCal Spelling Bee. SoCal Spelling Bee. Yeah, that's pretty funny. When Dave brought up a Debbie Downer, I thought of, I thought of Lauren trying to think between Debbie Downer and SoCal Spelling Bee. And I had fun with it, wigs. SoCal Spelling Bee will play nicely at 1237. Hey, I've got a food-related quiz. Speaking of quizzes. And Mitch and our guests must compete in it. It's another edition of Slop Quiz. And this week's Slop Quiz theme, mascot brawl. This is compiled by our associate producer, the Drop King Robert Persinger.

I've got a list of mascots. And you must guess which brand and or product they each represent. So, buzz in with your name when you hear the mascot's name. And buzz in with your own name when you hear the name of the mascot. And then whoever answers correctly first will get a point. And what? These start off, these start off a little, what do you, what's unclear about that? Just start the game. It was confusing the way you said it all. If you get, if you get the answer correct, a point goes to you. And then whoever has the most points at the end of the contest is the winner. Oh, nice and normal. All right, great. That feels pretty standard. Yes. He's writing down on a pad of paper or something.

Sorry, I'm making, I'm just, I'm, so we don't want to hear people complain about my keyboard, my mechanical keyboard, if I'm typing. So I'm going to keep score with pen and paper. Old school. What about the ASMR people? Don't they like those clickety-clacks? They love that shit. They can't get enough of it. But we don't want to appeal to those freaks. Looks like you're writing a goodbye note. You'll all see soon. So this is mascot brawl. I'll name a mascot, buzz in with your name, and then guess what brand it represents. Okay. And these start off pretty easy. First up, Spuds Mackenzie. David. I heard Mitch first. I will allow Emma to be the ultimate

arbiter if there is a debate, but I heard Mitch and my headphones first. I honestly heard them at the same time. So I'll take your, I'll take your word for it. What the hell? Sorry. I heard myself first. I heard my me first. Oh, why don't we ask Marissa, Dave's wife, what she thinks? Let me guess. Dave first. If I don't support my hubby, he'll strike me with a frying pan. I say we ask the baby. Yeah, Robin, what do you think? Mitchy. Wow. I'll give it, I'll give it to Mitch. I'll say Mitch you can answer. You can take first crack at it. I just, I only want this one, Budweiser. Wrong. Dave. Bud Light. Dave is correct. It is Bud Light specifically. Oh my god.

This is such bull that I didn't say Bud Light. Can you call yourself a beer guzzling party animal? Wow. Oh dude. Dave took it and then stood up and did a little shimmy in celebration. I think he did the DX crotch chop. Oh, is that what that was? I think it was the, I think it was the DX, I think he did the crotch chop DX, D generation X. I didn't catch all of that. I honestly don't know what got into me. I'm sorry, Mitch. Well, you have a point. You're on the board. You're in the lead. Budweiser doesn't count as the brand. Oh god. Bud Light specifically. What, Spuds was the mascot for. Next up. Oh, dear god. Horatio Magellan Crunch. David. Go ahead, Dave. Would that be, oh god, would that be, no, Cap and Crunch?

That is Cap and Crunch's full name. Horatio Magellan Crunch. Wow. You have two points. God. I'm still mad about Budweiser. Next up. Punchy. Punchy. Marissa. Hawaiian punch. Absolutely correct. Why? Punchy is the mascot for Hawaiian punch. You were on the board. Mitch DeLaziro. Piece of shit. I liked that one. He was just like cold cock people, right? Yeah. He was very violent. With flavor. It's the best. Drink it. Boom. For the next mascot, entertainment is his middle name. Is that the question? Yes. Marissa. Chuck E. Cheese at Chuck E. Cheese's. Yes. That's right. Charles Entertainment Cheese,

the E stands for entertainment. Can I quickly just say that the way you asked that question was bad and I didn't know what was going on. I was trying to mix it up. I didn't know what. It's a Chuck Entertainment Cheese. If I said Chuck E. Cheese, who's the mascot for Chuck E. Cheese? It just started like the start of a novel. It didn't sound like a question. Well, maybe he wants to branch out. That's what I'm writing. You're falling behind here, Mr. Slythe. Yeah, I know. I know. Marissa has two. Budweiser. Dave has two. Mitch has zero. Budweiser. Maybe you'll get on the board with this next clue. Next mascot. Duke. Mitch. I heard Mitch. Bush's baked beans. You are correct.

Duke is the dog. Duke is the thieving dog who wants the Bush's baked beans recipe. The family down the street, the greens, they had a dog named Spuds McKenzie. Did they really? Yep. I used to go like a same style dog. Like the little dog with like the little black and white spot or, you know, like the black spot or whatever. Little bull terrier. Yeah. I used to go to their house and I used to, I think I said this on the show before, but I bring a bagel every morning and he'd be like, where's your bagel? And the dog would fuck the bagel. No, the dog didn't fuck the bagel. He'd be like, where's your bagel? And it would be hiding behind my back. And then one time

it was in my pants. Like I hid it in my pants. They got a big laugh out of it. It was a good time. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, that's a good joke. Next mascot. Sonny. Mitch. David. I heard Mitch. Raisin Bran. David. Not Raisin Bran. David. Marissa. Fruit Loops. Not Fruit Loops, Marissa. The sun from Sonny D. It is none of those. It is Sonny with an S-O. That is the name of the Coco Puffs mascot. Oh, wow. I knew it was cereal. Yeah. You're in the right ballpark. I know the Fruit Loops guy now that I'm thinking about it. All right. Miss has two. Mitch has one. Dave has two. Next mascot, Mr. Owl. Mitch. Go ahead, Mitch. One, two, three. Tootsie roll. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll, Pop Wags?

That is correct. You are all knotted up at two apiece. These last few will settle it. I have to take something to the board here. The Raisin Bran mascot's name is Sonny. How's it spelled? S-U-N-N-Y, but you never told us how it was spelled. S-O-N-N-Y. That's Sonny that I got. Yeah, but you didn't say that. You don't get it. It doesn't count. It's a different Sonny. It's the Raisin Bran mascot, and you said Sonny. You don't get this one. That is such trash. This is a different Sonny. It's S-O-N-N-Y. We're going to get such trash. This is such trash. I could call Susser. If someone called him, he would pick up. He would 100% pick up.

Good point. Don't call him. By the way, I'm eating a little Caesars now for forks. Wow. Okay, next up. It's not up to a piece. Digum. Digum. Mitch. Go ahead, Mitch. Smacks. You are correct. The Honey Smacks cereal mascot is Digum the Frog. That frog? Yeah. That frog is named Digum. Why? Why? It's just his name. Looks like I'm pretty good at this game after all, huh? You should have given me Budweiser Y's bullshit. We've got two left.

We're joking that the baby Marissa and Dave's child would say bad show, and I would agree. Yeah, that sucks. His first words. Number nine. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Boy. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Anyone can buzz in for Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. And why don't you know what handed your kid is? And why didn't you figure that out? Pretty early. Pretty early. Yeah, drawing and tossing balls. Yeah, Peggy's right-handed. Robin hasn't put pen to paper yet, but you know. Maybe someday. Yeah, isn't that funny?

Yeah. Oh my goodness, he is cute as a button. Yeah, he's a little cutie. Yeah. What a cutie. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. Lefty. I feel like I know this. Lefty. Lefty. Hey, Lefty. How about David? Yes. The Coca-Cola polar bear? Not the Coca-Cola polar bear. Famously named Lefty. Yeah, no, that's not him. Mitch. Might have to Google that. Fair guess. Mitch. McDonald's. There is no Lefty in the McDonald's expanded universe. Oh, shit. Maybe I do know who it is now. Can I buzz in again? No. Tell me and then I'll buzz in. Yeah, tell Marissa she can get the point. No. I was thinking maybe Burger King. We just took a second guess.

Okay, Marissa. That was also wrong. Yes, Marissa. No. No, don't. He said wrong. David. Yes. My nickname in high school was Lefty because my left testicle would always hurt after I bowled. And so my bowling team would call me Lefty. Because I have a, I have a very common condition known as varicoseal. Wow. Varicoseal where veins drop into your balls, making your left ball look like it's floating in spaghetti. If you give them points for this and not for my sonny, I will be so fucking mad. One in four, one in four men have this condition. So I'd like to give a shout out to all my varicoses out there. You're not alone. Your balls are lumpy, but you're still beautiful inside and out.

Let me guess. Everyone on the Dose Court has lumpy ball syndrome. Hashtag spaghetti nation. Bowling would exacerbate it. It would. It was like crossing my leg back. I must have been pinching my nut between my legs or something. I don't know. But I would end up with ice on my balls. Like you have to bowl three games in a row because it's a league setting. So it's like, got a bowl, got a bowl for the team. You go to the snack station and get your bag of ice. The woman behind the counter is like, oh, lefty, here's your bag of ice. Your neck got twisted. Man, it sounds like another whoops all veins situation.

I think if I iced my growing down in high school, I don't know if I would have anything today with what's a little there is. Watch, we don't know lefty clearly. Nobody got lefty. But perhaps if you'd thought about what a hand might represent, you would have landed on Hamburger Helper. The Hamburger Helper mascot. I knew I knew that. That's good. The score going into the final clue. Hey, let's ring the bell. That's that's how you respond. David has two. Mitch has three. So Mitch, you can either win outright or one of the competitors can take the lead with his final

clue. It's worth two. This is a tough one. Yeah, it's worth two. Sure. This final clue is worth two because it's a tough one. Floyd D. Duck. Floyd D. Duck. Floyd D. Duck. Yes, Mitch. Aflac. It's not a food brand. They're all food. They're all food related. Oh, you're not picked up. We're 10 in. You've not picked up. It's a food podcast. Oh, yeah. I was thinking duct tape, but I didn't say it. You can eat these things. You can eat these things. You can eat Aflac. You can eat Aflac. You can eat the concept of insurance. Duck is a food. Duck is food. Duck is food. So is Marissa the only one who can, oh no, I guess Dave has not guessed officially. No, I was joking. It's a joking podcast. That's what I'm supposed to do.

So I've not made my official guess as I roll a dex through every duck I've ever seen flying past Huey Dewey Louie and landing on that famous brand represented by a duck that involves food. I'm going with crazy Charlie's duck butter. If it's not crazy Charlie's, then it ain't. Duck butter. Amazingly is not crazy Charlie's duck butter. Not the answer. Marissa, do you want to take a stab at it? Wow. No. Crazy Charlie's hamburger seasoning. It's not even a crazy Charlie's product. So no, it's not crazy Charlie's hamburger seasoning. Amazingly. You're going to be kidding me. Floyd D Duck is the mascot for bubble yum bubble gum. I did not know this going in. Wow. Bubble yum has a duck mascot.

I don't know why I thought crazy Charlie would have hired Floyd D Duck. When he already had another job. Right. Shilling gum. Yeah, that was weird and dumb. I'm sorry, I regret it. No, I liked it. I loved it. It was better than that last question. Mitch, you win Slop Quiz despite not getting points for Sunny or for Spud's McKenzie. So how about that? Yeah, it's a trash game. And you know what? The real winners are our guests because they're fun and we like to have them. And also they're not really winners because they've been with us for the last two hours. Yeah, sorry. You have a family to attend to. There's a baby on camera. We're very sorry. You're working parents. Hey, that was Slop Quiz. Just like a restaurant

without your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And hey, we have a voicemail today. Let's take a listen. Wow. My name's Shaefer. I live in Los Angeles. I've been a longtime fan of you guys. And my question to you is what is some of your favorite bite combination flavor experiences? Now, that's a little weird. So for example, what I mean is one of my favorites is you take a bite of crispy, salty bacon followed by a bite of soft, buttery, delicious, syrupy pancakes. And that combination of those two things of flavors and textures together is just amazing to me. So I wanted to know what some of your favorites in that category are. I love you guys so much. Thank you for the show. Shout out Adam and Dan. Whose? His shout out kind of got cut off.

Adam and Dan. Wow. I bet Dan is really stoked to hear that. He's over the moon. Shaefer sounds like the dude. He sounds like a very cool guy. I like Shaefer. I like Shaefer too. I like to think about him on a Sunday morning just biting into his favorite flavor combo and smiling at himself in the mirror. Yeah. I love that whole pancake. It was a great question. And I'm bragging my brain to think of like, I know that I do this. I know that I do. I have an answer. And bacon made me think of it. It's kind of the one, two punch in either order of like a nice deli dill pickle and like a BLT. That's good. I don't want to put the pickle on the BLT, but I'll take a bite of each of them in order. And I'll have the time of my life.

Like, that is such a good answer. I love a cold crisp, dill pickle. Yeah. So far. Eating that with a sandwich. It just, it's the best. Delightful. But I would say like, it's hard to have burgers without salty fries. And I guess it's kind of a three-way combo, but like the classic combo of a cheeseburger with a french fry dipped in ketchup and then a slurp of a cold soda. Like those three things go together so well. It's like, if you just have, if you're missing any of those three elements, I feel like you're having a less good time. That made my mouth water just now. Yeah, that guy, that's so great. Just heaven. Uh, Mr. Slice, you got an answer? No, I know I have one too. And it's really, it really,

it really is bothering me because like, I know that I'll even do like a bite of eggs and then like have a bite of bacon or put it on top there and then like bite my toast afterwards. Like, it does feel like, it feels like a very breakfast-y thing. I feel like breakfast is always a good mix. But I will like, like, I'll like a steak and cheese sub. And then I'll sometimes, my sister always got pickles on it, but I would sometimes like to bite a pickle and then bite my steak and cheese sub and have like saltiness. That was, that was always fun. And the flavors would mix a little bit. I know that there's more. I know, I, and I can't think of anything else, but maybe, you know what, maybe some, I bet you this happens all the time with Thanksgiving of like

having a bite of mashed potatoes and then having a bite of turkey afterwards with gravy on it. Oh sure. But I can't, I can't think of specifics. And I know that there's so many of them. And I just, it's like something I've thought of all the time, but I've never like, have jotted down mentally what they are, you know what I mean? But I'll know it when it's in front of me. Is there anything you like to, is there anything you like to eat when you're eating piss? How does a dill pickle go with a piss? I'm the piss eater. Wags is already, I already tried to say Wags drank piss. I'm the piss eater. Oh yeah. I missed that episode. You freeze it into cubes and crunch it up and eat it with those fork. Jesus Christ. It's canon. Write it down,

Twitter nation. Mama Mitchell would never, Mama Mitchell would never let that happen. Michael, what did you use to do with the ice cube trays? Mama Mitchell, there she goes again. Won't let me eat piss now. All right, just let's stop this episode. That sucked. Mama Mia, like the Ava song? You're just writing your own drops. Marissa, do you have a, do you have a flavor combo? Two different foods together. Breakfast comes to mind to me too, because we were going through a period where we would get a can of biscuits and make like an egg sandwich on a biscuit in the morning and drizzle maple syrup on top of the eggs and then closing up that biscuit and go into town. And, and you know, we use, we use those

Beyond Meat Sausage Patties, which are really, really good, a good version of a fake sausage patty. And so, but that's like, it would never occur to me to pour maple syrup on eggs, except in that, in that context. But breakfast feels like everything is just kind of meant to be mixed up. It's really not. Yep. If you like sweet and salty together, breakfast is that hot American breakfast is where it's at. I agree on the Beyond Sausages, by the way. You know what you should have mixed in there is piss. I don't eat piss. Okay. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844. And you can get the Dough Boys Double, our weekly

bonus episode, by joining the Goldenware Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Dough Boys. Two of our favorite guests, Marissa Pinson, David Nier. Thank you both so much for making time for us in your schedules. Thanks for indulging. It was a pleasure. It was a blast. A blast. Absolute, absolute blast to have you both. Anything you would like to plug at this time? Yeah. I'd like to plug AP Bio Season 4 out on Peacock. I wrote for that show. And I have a little small part on it too, every once in a while. It's really funny. Glenn Howerton, Patton Oswald, Paula Pell, lots of funny people on that show. So check it out and get your laugh on America. I don't know if that's our official catchphrase for the show, but...

You know what? Dough Boys is stealing it before you... No, it won't work with Dough Boys. I realized how much of a failure it would be with our podcast. It just wouldn't work. Can we add Get Your Laugh On America to the subtitle of Dough Boys? Is that possible? I don't think so. I think that's trademarked. Yeah, it's AP Bio has it. And then North in Canada, Pizza Pizza owns that. Marissa, anything you'd like to plug? Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I don't have any creative projects in the works. But as I mentioned earlier, OffPod, we have inherited my late father's custom embroidered patch company.

So that is where we spend every day of the work week is working on that. So if anybody needs a custom embroidered patch for maybe your business or maybe you're a policeman or whatever reason you would need a patch, email sales at patchsupply.com. And we're working on a new website, so that should be up in the next couple months or so. Wow. High quality patches with a smile. Wow. Get your patch on America. That'll do it for this episode of Dough Boys. Until next time, for The Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, and I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Dough Boys double, more like Dough Boys. Dough Boys pilot program returns as we

review the pilot episode of The Simpsons. Joined by Mitch's Simpsons alums Tim Calpakis of the birthday boys and Joe Saunders of the breadcast. It's annoyed grunt boys. Get the Dough Boys double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Dough Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description. That was a hate gum podcast.