Doughboys - Maggiano's Little Italy with Kevin Pollak

Episode Date: November 1, 2018

Diving into a chain focused on Italian-American cuisine, the 'boys are joined by Kevin Pollak (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show) to discuss their recent experience at Maggiano's Little Italy. Plus, competing impressions, Kevin's stand up stories, and an Oreo-based Snack or Wack.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident, I hid it in the stomach. This was author and journalist Upton Sinclair reflecting on the impact of his 1905 novel The Jungle, which described in gristly detail the plight of turn-of-the-century immigrants working in meatpacking plants in Chicago. The Windy City's massive stockyards were once the backbone of its economy, and Sinclair sought to expose the backbreaking labor that injured and killed its desperate immigrant workforce, who found themselves living in slums and boarding houses. The novel was a sensation, though it wasn't the labor abuses that horrified readers, but

rather the filthy conditions of Chicago's slaughterhouses. Sinclair's visceral prose described human waste and dismembered fingers being ground up with pork and beef. Employees sick with tuberculosis coughing up blood while handling meat. Even workers who accidentally fell into rendering vats and were boiled alive, their remains sold as lard. That even Sinclair's controversial socialist politics temper the general public's universal revulsion, and in response, President Theodore Roosevelt quickly signed legislation creating

what would become the Food and Drug Administration, forever transforming food safety standards in America. By the turn of the century, Chicago's stockyards would begin to close, as meatpacking plants were relocated to rural areas. Also exiled out to the city limits by modernity were the factories that used to clog the city's air with thick smoke. A neighborhood where many Italian immigrants settled was once known as Smoky Hollow because industrial exhaust often blocked out the sun.

Smoky Hollow was redubbed River North after its pollution subsided and became known for its art galleries. And it's in this sanitized, gentrified, historically Italian neighborhood that restaurateur Rich Melman, with a punnily named Let Us Entertain You Restaurant group, opened an Italian-American sit-down joint serving an accessible version of the cuisine's classics. Designed as a throwback to pre-World War II dinner houses, it was an immediate hit, adding two more Illinois locations in its first three years. In 1995, the red-hot concept was acquired by Brinker International, the parent company

of Chili's, and taken nationwide, expanding to over 50 locations today. And while food sanitation in the U.S. may be much improved versus 110 years ago, working conditions in America's vast food industry, especially in slaughterhouses and on factory farms, resembles all too closely the punishing jungle described in Sinclair's magnum opus. This week on Doughboys, Masiano's Little Lidly. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, the 6 million calorie man, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

Those courtesy of Eric, who adds, even my wife said it was funny, so Eric's wife feels good about that one. His wife was nice to him and said it was funny. Yeah, he gave him the confidence to send it in. If you have an insult you'd like me to use on Mitch at the top of the show, roostspoonmanatgmail.com is my address. Roostspoonman. Roastspoonman, not roostspoonman.

All right, it was good. No, not like we're gonna rouse you from a slumber with a cock-a-doodle-doo, is that what I'm saying? Is that? Oh, okay, roosts, like a rooster. Got you. Yeah, and you know, the insults are back because October Blessed is over. That's right.

This is our first episode in November. That's right. How are you feeling? You feeling more spiritual now? No. And also, this should be grocery store month, but you're a little baby boy. Well, look. It won't happen.

We know we're gonna re-litigate this right now. All right, that's fair. Howdy ho, to Spoon Nation. Can't look at my guests when I say that. Can't look them in the eye. And I'm gonna play a little drop for everybody. Oh, yeah. We don't want it to be too high.

About it? I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, we're gonna bleep that. And we're gonna bleep that. Bad traffic. Barely traffic. Oh, classic. Bad traffic. Los Angeles traffic.

Fuck you, Edgar. All right. That was a nice song. Yeah. An impressive feat of audio engineering. I mean, creatively, I don't know if I'm on board, but I just, the technique- Wait, creatively? Why are you on board with it?

What? I don't know. What was I trying to say? That was from Greg Francis. He says, you're cool. Here's a drop. Thanks, Greg. Oh, that was nice.

I agree with him. A little bit of positivity there. Uh, Mitch, we've had, uh, we've had quite a night. This has been, it's been a crazy night. We've got a, we've got a late night record and, and, and let's get our guest in here. Yes. From the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in the podcast, Kevin Pollock's cat chat. Oh boy.

I almost said Kevin Pollock's cat show. That's a whole different thing, but maybe we can discuss cats a little bit. Kevin Pollock is our guest. Hi, Kevin. Please be seated. Thank you so much. I got cats on the brain because, uh, you saw one. I saw it.

Yeah. You brought your cats in here. We were talking cats at dinner. Um, you are a cat owner. Tuxedo cats in specific. Yes. I'm not giving away to the listeners that may not have known you or a, uh, tuxedo cat. We were going to reveal Wally and Irma's breed at the very, in the very last episode

of Doe Boy. Damn it. People don't know. We'll bleep it out. It's fine. Yeah. I would think people would know that from, I haven't, I think some people don't. Okay.

I think, I mean, also it's not a secret. Obviously that's a joke, Nick. I don't know if you really thought I was going to reveal it. No, but I was, no, but I'm like, I, I would assume that our listeners would know that you have tuxedo cats because I feel like the pictures of, of cropped up on social media, but maybe they don't. Yeah. Yeah.

We put them on. But not everybody who listens is on social media. Right. Yeah. I'd say most of the people who listen aren't on social media, aren't, aren't following our social media. Yeah. Which is probably good.

Yeah. Yeah. You need more of this bullshit than this actual podcast. Um, Kevin, thank you so much for making time for us. Uh, I understand you're from the Bay area. Yeah. Originally, yes. San Francisco born San Jose, California raised, moved back to San Francisco and I was about

20 to, uh, launch the full-time standup comedy career. Right. How was that? That must have been a great, I mean, that was, that was a great time to be in San Francisco. That standup scene. It was. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, Robin Williams had just popped on Morgan Mindy, Dana Carvey and I were just starting out. Wow. Um, we're talking Cobb. 20, 23 would be him. Okay. I think he's three years older than me. Yeah.

So you had Cobb's Holy City Zoo, of course, where, uh, or Robin and a few people started because a room holds like seven people, uh, so mostly you're performing to other comedians there. Right. Um, which is a lot of, I think a lot of, uh, people, listeners probably don't know that that's so much of the early days, Nick, when we would do stuff too, it was just to other comedians. Yeah.

Which is, which is the hard, it's a hard audience. It's harder. I remember going to watch open, like I just like was it, uh, in LA, like going to college and I was just like, Oh, I'll go watch this open mic. And I realized like, Oh, I'm the only person here who's not like, doesn't have my name on the list. Like I'm just like, I thought this was like a standup show to watch and no, it's just you put your name on the list.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it is a lot. I think a lot of, you know, it's, it's, it's enthusiasts performing for other enthusiasts or other wannabes. Um, but so I'm curious about, uh, uh, you know, uh, and I'm curious specifically because the Bay Area has its own food scene as, as separate from SoCal, I think people think California is one big block, but I think that the Bay Area is maybe a little, has its own

things that does, uh, uh, to, to specific presentation. Um, is there anything you, uh, you crave in the Bay Area, any of your favorite spots to eat up there? Um, no, from growing up, you know, it, there wasn't as many, I feel like there wasn't as many chain restaurants in general. Right. Yeah. Uh, because when I was younger, you know, we had just invented fire.

Right. So, I mean, I can remember McDonald's, French fries being the first time they were 19 cents. You know, they've had retro releases since. Yes. And also the first time they posted the number of people served was in the very low millions. Wow. Like, I think I remember the very first time I saw it was like I said, 31 million serve. And I thought, where are these 31 million people?

Was, what is that? What? No one had ever boasted anything so ridiculous. That's great. Because now it's in the bill. It's, I don't even know what billion number it is now. Right. That's insane.

It really wasn't worldwide. Yeah. And you, also the, the, the, oh, do you know, do you know the answer? No, it just generically says billions and billions served. Oh, right. Yes. They gave up. They did.

They just gave up counting. They basically like a blackjack dealer wipes their hands before they leave the table and the new one comes in. They hold their palms to the eye in the sky and then they left the counting of billions of business. I think I, I probably make up for a good number of those, of those billions. Also when I, I think I remembered the McDonald's back then their French fries were, were really good for longer than 30 seconds.

Yeah. I've, I've heard this in a, I, I definitely changed the recipe. Right. Well, this is that Malcolm Gladwell has a very, you know, and did, I, I did, I, I did I think his podcast for me are kind of hit and miss, but sometimes he like hits on something and it's, and it's super fast. And he went, he did this beef tallow fries episode where he really dug in on like the, when, when McDonald's fries used to be fried and beef fat.

And it's like, it's like kind of, he actually has a, he has like a food lab where they recreate McDonald's fries fried in that beef tallow, which I think was what it was until up through the mid 80s, maybe. And apparently the difference is night and day. But I don't remember ever experiencing that. I only remember the post, you know, the, the, the, the properly vegetarian fries that they've converted to the takeaway for me, from what you just said, was that Malcolm Gladwell has a little too much time on his head.

Yeah. I'm sure you said some other important, right? Yeah. But that's what I heard. Nick, I got to say to you, you might, you maybe are, have a world record for having the headphones highest on anyone's head they've ever been. What is going on over there? How are they positioned?

Did you get a recent haircut? I think maybe that's what, I think that he did get a haircut recently. I got a semi-recent haircut. Oh, the strap is messed up. It looks very high on your head. That's it. That's what it is. Yes. It looks very, it looks uncomfortable.

It wasn't annoying me. I had to say something about it. I didn't really feel it. Yeah. No, the strap was twisted. So it created an effect like it was raised very high off the top of my head. This, this is probably one of the best moments in our show. This is the most compelling the show has ever been. Well, it's theater of the mind.

Right. Whereas before they were just listening to Utah. So were you, because I, the Bay Area, I mean, I think when people think of it, they think of, they think of, you know, mission burritos. I don't know how much of a thing that was when you were there. I think, you know, the certainly clam chowder in a bread bowl. I think it's thought of as an SF staple. Is that really, is that really a San Francisco thing? Or is it for tourists?

The bread bowl, is that, is that real? First of all, you're forgetting rice errone. Oh, yeah, there you go. Literally cold San Francisco treat. Right. It's like emitting eggnog on Christmas. It's right there. No, I mean, I don't feel like there is a regional food, to be honest with you.

Yeah. We talked about seafood a little bit at the restaurant. Yeah, certainly in San Francisco, you're, you know, you're on a bay. So it was quite, the Fisherman's Wharf was very known for fresh seafood. And, and, but again, that also felt kind of touristy as opposed to right, what the family sat down to eat. Mostly it was bad mom's bad meatloaf. Yeah.

Well, what were you eating when you're working the clubs and you're coming up as a comic, like what were you grabbing for late night eats? I think Jamie's indicating by pointing to her nose, I was doing a little too much cocaine to think about food. We've not had a nose pointing signal before. So you're also witnessing a first and she only knows from a few stories. I've told her, but I just realized we went and saw the old man in the gun yesterday, the last movie Robert Redford allegedly will star in.

Oh, yes. And Casey Affleck is I'm not going to give anything away. Other than the very last moment they have together, Casey Affleck rubbed his nose like from the sting. And I just realized he made that move. I may be making up for Casey Affleck as to why he did that. But his last gesture to Robert Redford was that that may he I'm going to insist. That's why he would love that.

He might not have thought that at all. And now I was going to say that you've got the Boston connection you find out. Oh, yeah, I'll talk to you. Yep, yep, any who he would ever he would never have any connection with. He I think every every Boston person. Here's the thing with Boston people. Yes, I think with Chicago. I've talked about this on the show.

Chicago people like each other. San Francisco people like each other. I don't care about Boston people that much. Come on, I like Boston, but I don't care like when there's a new Boston comedian, get the fuck out of here, Massachusetts in general. Let's open it up a little bit beyond the city like Matt Myred. You know, Matt Myred. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what, my right, right? Yeah, I like my right. I work with my hair. I was like, OK, come on. You have no beef with my red. This is what I've heard you defend Mark Wahlberg. Oh, my God, that's not that's not true. And to the core, you have a fierce loyalty to anyone.

I've never defended Mark Wahlberg. I know. You said he if he had been on that plane on 911, he would have saved those passengers. I think there's a chance he might have pulled something off. Right. That's based on his stunt double. I think yeah, that's not based on there's.

There's too many. There were so many celebrities. I mean, look, we should. Yes, we should probably talk about 911 for only 10 or 15 minutes, but that would feel like 11 minutes. You probably yeah, 9 to 11 minutes is good there. There are so many. There's the Mark Wahlberg story and then I don't know if people know

this story, but Seth MacFarlane was supposed to get on a plane. Yes, which is insane. That like flew into one of the World Trade Center building. So it's like overslept and missed his flight. James Woods. Oh, yeah. I believe six weeks is the number. I might be off by a week.

He was on a flight with two of the guys. Right. Who were on the ultimate flights. But six weeks prior, they were doing a run, basically a practice run. And James Woods, this is way before anyone even used the term racial profiling. In this way for terrorists, certainly.

And he called the FBI and said, I clocked these two guys on this plane doing this. And if you remember six weeks before 911, no one was clocking people and thinking it was a dry run. Oh, yeah. No, wouldn't have crossed anyone. Yeah, that's that's that's insane. It went beyond there were two suspicious looking people on the plane.

It was they were watching every movement of when the how often the pilots opened the door. Because back then that the flight attendants did not stand in front of the door the way they do now. And yeah, the drink cart in front of it, like that's going to protect it. Right. You know, that's how you used to do it.

The heavy drink cart is now our it is it is a funny thing because you're like that doesn't seem sanctioned. It doesn't seem like a thing that like that. It just seems like they're moved to extra protection. Unless they're using that for at practice in the NFL for the linebacker to really go at those things. I don't believe they could stop anyone. Anyways, so that's the James.

That's the James Woods thing is it's crazy. Because I remember hearing I saw him on like Larry King live telling that story. And I think one of the one of the guys he saw was Muhammad Atta and I wonder now because I remember that was like, you know, that I saw that in like 2003 or something. Right. And now he's just like such a right wing Twitter lunatic.

And I wonder if that had something to do with that progression. Here's hoping. Here's hoping there's a reason. Right. For the turn. I worked on Shark. Do you know that I worked on Shark? Did you really?

Oh my God, I did like 15 episodes. I was in I was in the post department crazy and shark. That's crazy. That was that was a one of my early early jobs. I dropped off DVDs to a bunch of people and I told when I go back to Boston, I say I was or I would tell people I was on Shark. And because of my boss and accent, they were like, you're on the show shock.

They always thought I was saying I was on shock. Even Bostonians didn't know your but it couldn't pass your boss. No, I guess it was just people out here. Oh, got it. Try to explain them where I work. You've lost it completely. You have.

I do not hear it. It's gone. I come it comes up occasionally when I get mad at Nick or something at location and come up or when your friends are around when shanked in and frail bot in Wu Tang or hanging out. The boss comes out a little bit. Do you have a let me ask you this, Mitch. When you worked on Shark, were you afraid to come up to work?

Because of your your fear of sharks, your sharks. You didn't want to come to set. Yes, I'm a buffoon who thought that there was an actual live shark on set at all times. All right, great. That tracks. That's what I thought your answer would be. So one of the shows that got affected by the writer's strike,

a lot of people don't know. All right. The writer's strike came and then it just was a show that was dropped and I was out of a job. There were a lot there. Yeah, they were dropped because it wasn't that great. I mean, that might have been not a lot of people were watching. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, they moved nights or something. I remember Jimmy complaining about it. Yeah. I stand by that it was the writer's strike that wrote the show. You know what? I retract what I said. I'm going to go with the writer's track as well. It was a solid show.

Check it out on whatever. Yeah, find Shark on the streaming service. There are 497 scripted shows. Do we need to bring back the discussion of Shark? I think a Shark reboot, saving Shark, I think could work. I think people want to see it again. Mail in live sharks to NBC? What network was it on?

CBS. Mail them to CBS. So outside of the Bay Area. It's Bay Area Sharks. Yeah. Are there sharks in the Bay Area? The Red Triangle's up there, Nick. Wait, what's the Red Triangle?

That's the gang of sharks. Oh, wow. Yeah, they have vests. No jackets. Like the street sharks? Oh, man. Those guys are bad news. They're young tufts.

Yeah. It's an area where there's the most Shark attacks in the world, I believe. Oh, fascinating. It's an area between, it's like in San Francisco, and well, I don't know, it's by, maybe by San Jose, but where you grew up. That'd be Santa Cruz.

Santa Cruz, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Three different points that kind of make up the Red Triangle. Mitch, for someone who seems to have a passing familiarity with like world events at large, you have such an intricate knowledge of like Shark danger. You're just like an encyclopedia of Shark deaths. I feel like you could cite the number of fatalities,

like off the coast of Australia in any given year. Well, yeah. Why are you so irrationally afraid of sharks? What's more likely? Am I going to get strangled by a politician or eaten by a shark? I'm guessing it's the movie Jaws. It is.

I used to go to Cape Cod when I was younger, and Jaws was fine before the film. And yeah, I think things were fine before the movie. And then I saw the movie. I'm scared of sharks forever. I could dive into a swimming pool to this day if it's at night and it's dark. And for a second, it flashes in my brain,

is there a shark in this pool? 100%. Just for a second. Yeah, yeah. I 100% especially night swimming. I don't even like to go in the ocean anymore. I used to go in the ocean all the time, swim around it like crazy. None anymore.

Can't do it. Do you have any irrational fears, Kevin? Any phobias? Irrational fears? Yeah, I have very many rational fears. OK, that's fair. Lions, love cats. Love cats, but it's just a rational fear.

So now I'm trying to think of an irrational fear. Can I say something? Please. I think that I could. I think I would be OK with lions. You wouldn't be until they were upset and near you. Yeah. That's what I was going for.

For some reason, I think in my head that they wouldn't attack me. Hakuna Matata, is that what you're thinking? Irrational. I think I'd be OK. They think you were like a hippopotamus or something. Oh, fuck. They are way more dangerous.

They are way more dangerous. That's another rational fear of a hippopotamus. I have a fear of heights. I'm very high. If I'm near the edge of a cliff, I feel like I want to fling myself off of it. And I get like I have to back off. That sounds more like a fear of suicide.

Yeah, I guess so. Sounds like more of like a longing for suicide. Sounds like a. So your fear of heights is that you'll fling yourself over. Yeah. I would think the fear of heights for a quote unquote civilian instead of saying normal person would be if I'm close to the edge, I might fall off.

Yours is, I might fling myself over. Honestly, it really is a little more committed to the flinging part than the fear of heights. Yeah, what is the fling exactly? Is it like a would you do a cartwheel thing? Would you go foot first? Kind of just a dive? Sure, I think if I'm like at like the edge of a cliff

or something and I remember this from hiking in my Boy Scout days is like I'd just be like, oh, now I can just jump like I'm this close. I can just jump from here. What the hell was going on back there? And I feel the same thing like I was on the roof of a parking garage recently. And it was one of the parking structures

by Universal Studios. And they've got like this amazing view. You can see like all of downtown Burbank from the roof. And who doesn't want to see downtown Burbank? Hey. It is posthumously. Arguably the best view in California as a state. Take a hike, Yosemite.

So when you've got a half dome, suck this. But when you got close to the edge of that parking structure, you thought I could fling myself. Yeah, because I could see that there was like there were some some props from the Jurassic Park rides just like laid out just at the ground level. But beneath me and I just thought I was just like, I could just the guardrail was about waist high on me.

And I was like, if I just tipped forward, I would just fall onto that. Oh, man. And that would be it. And so I had to like back. I had to like take several steps back. I couldn't like be near it anymore. I just like it felt like this compulsion that was overwhelming.

Man, I'd have to make a tribute episode to you and stuff. Such a pain in the ass. Yeah, you just swap in Joe. So now I feel I would probably get the call. You would have to come because he talked about it. Who's this guy? You forgot him. All right, I understand if you forgot him already.

He talked about flinging himself. I remember the fling. Remember the fling come apart and shark. Those are the only two things I remember from the first 15 minutes anyway. That's the only thing you remember from dough boys. That's probably a good thing. I feel like.

Kevin, I got a question for you. It's not really a question as more as I told you at the restaurant, I was going to embarrass myself. I'm a huge Scorsese fan. Goodfellas is my favorite movie. You were you've been in some legendary films. A couple. Some of the greats.

Casino, great film. So such a good film and still underrated. Such a great, great movie. It's fantastic. And a few good men. Usual suspects, of course. Usual suspects. Quite a run.

Oh, I got a question about usual suspects. Sure. Did you ever read the script and not know who Kaiser Sosei was? Did they ever keep that from you? There is a urban legend that we were not told. And that is a lie. Oh, it's a lie. OK.

Or an untruth. I will say the script was so brilliant that went on the Wind Academy Award. That as incredible as the film turned out, reading the script was even more intense and harrowing and shocking when the ending comes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's that was like, I think that was maybe the first movie that ever. The Crying Game. The Crying Game, yes. I saw Usual Suspects before I saw The Crying Game. There you go. I was just going chronological, my bad.

Yeah, but in my, like I said, when I said, what year did you do Usual Suspects? I'm about 95. 95. OK, that's what I thought. So I was about 14, 13, 14. And it was like the first movie I saw like that that blew my mind at the end.

You know what I mean? It was the first movie I ever saw like that. I was like, I didn't know they could do this in films. They cheated. Yeah, they cheated. And with Casino, Scorsese has some of the, like with good fellas, he has just some of the best food in movies.

Was there anything in Casino, especially maybe even Offset or Onset that where there was just an experience with food that they really did it up? Interesting. I know, that's a strange question. No, because I was stuck there for 20 weeks. I'm in the movie about nine minutes. But the way Marty, a term I never used on set,

the way Marty shoots is he may wake up one morning and decide he wants to shoot something else other than what was scheduled for that day. Oh, wow. We were forced to stay there for five months, basically. And Rickles, Don Rickles, also in the movie Nine Minutes, and also another Jew comic. So we clung to each other.

We would make fun of everything, and him especially, because that's what he did for a living. So I'm trying to, other than the dinners with him, which were most memorable, I don't remember a feast on set necessary. Like you would want to be a giant Italian feast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys shot in the basically old part of Vegas.

Like it was the Riviera. The Riviera. That shithole is what they used for the Tangiers. Oh, OK. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. And were you going up and doing it?

Oh, sorry, Nick. But were you going up and just doing sets in Vegas and stuff? No. You've set up one of my favorite stories from the experience. Oh, yeah. There is a physical bit to it that I'll maybe describe as I'm doing it, because it otherwise wouldn't play on audio. So as I said, I was stuck there 20 weeks.

So as a stand-up comedian, I called my stand-up agent, separate from the acting agent, and said, hey, I'm stuck in Vegas. I wanted to see if you can book me opening up for somebody on the strip, because there's 1995, all the venues and big name acts. So different than now, obviously. Oh, there's Lady Gaga has her own casino to play on.

So the example is my agent called and said, I got you an opening up for the four tops. And they were a very famous R&B and dance group singers and choreographed. They had some hits, of course. So great. As the opening act, you do about 20 minutes. In fact, in Vegas, it's, yeah, you're doing 20 minutes.

And I don't mean 19, and I don't mean 21. You understand? Well, you're aware with a light beat. There's no fucking light. You do 20 minutes, not 19, not 21. This sounds like a Besser at UCB, with a completely different experience coming up for us. Sure, of course.

Yeah, we would go over and get people mad, probably. Yeah, well, in comedy clubs, wildly different. There's always a light. There's always a thing. So you're the opening act. So anyways, I'm excited. I got this booking working on the strip. I'd opened up for other big acts over the years.

Coming up in San Francisco, the great concert promoter Bill Graham is how one of the first few times I played larger audiences were opening up for Pat Benatar and her first tour to tell you how long ago this was. Manhattan Transfer, Rick Danko from the band, Beth Midler, a lot of amazing acts. So I was, again, I'm part of that ilk where you opened up and went on tour with people.

So I come in to work on Casino during the one or two week run that I'm opening up for the four times. And this is the first time I'm coming into work during that run. And I get in the hair and makeup truck. I sit in the makeup chair. And Rickles comes in, sits next to me. Hey, good morning, Don. Yeah, good morning, morning.

Hey, saw your name in the marquee. That's a great gig. And he's doing a gesture with his hands that suggest a choreographed dance move. Right. Why would you describe what I'm doing? You're sort of wrapping your fists around each other rapidly. Rolling forward and backward.

Yeah, exactly. And it's a dance move from R&B days of the 60s and 70s. Like you're working a speedbag. And the working a speedbag is good. Yeah, Motown specifically Motown. Yes, in the four top saying, baby, I need your loving. There you go. Yeah, I looked it up.

So Rickles is doing that gesture. Oh, I saw your name in the marquee kid. Great gig. Listen, I'm with Frank all summer. Let me know if you need tickets. So for the younger audience, that was Frank Sinatra. And he was rubbing it in my face pretty good. And I had somehow magically got a gig opening up

for the four top, which is, I mean, that's a huge song. I mean, that's a big accomplishment. That's a big act. Well, no, I mean, listen, he was busted balls. Right, as was his want. And also it was a thrill and honor to have him personally attack you. Oh, yeah, that's amazing.

I mean, it was the deal, right? He went after DeNarrow on the set. I mean, that's the main memory that I usually share. That feels like a guy I would be afraid to. Every sphincter titans when DeNarrow walked on the set. Right. And I mean, everyone. Yeah, there he is, there he is.

Shut up. No, you shut up. No one wants to say anything when he, but Rickles not impressed. Wow. Rickles told me that he knew he owned DeNarrow ahead of time. I didn't know what he was going to do with that. But he said, oh, yeah, yeah, I got him.

I got him. And I found out when he was a kid, they had a social group, peer group, would stand in the corner in a circle. And they'd either have a doo-wop, where they sang, or a put down, where they, your mother this, your mother that. Those are the two peer groups on the corners.

And DeNarrow was in the put down group. And so to those guys, Rickles was God. Oh, right? Yeah. So he says, watch kid, I own them. Sure enough, middle of a take, hundreds of extras on a casino floor, cameras rolling, Scorsese's watching. DeNarrow is acting brilliantly.

In the middle of the scene, Rickles will just turn on him. Is that the way you're going to do it? Like that? No, no, you got the awards. I'm sure you know what you're doing. Get ahead. Exactly. And so everyone freezes, because they

don't know how Bob's going to react. I've got a name I never used on set. And then he would, you just see his shoulders shaking from laughter. And he would make that face and laugh, you know. And he lost his mind laughing every single time. I mean, at the drop of a hat, Rickles would go after him and he would cackle like a nine year old on Christmas morning.

That is the scare. That's amazing. That's insane to me, because there's so many actors that would be like, what would flip out? In fact, go crazy on you. That's insane. I feel like any time I've done even the mildest barb at someone who's not you, I've just immediately

apologized. The balls that you have to have to approach someone with that gravity and just go at them is amazing. You should apologize to me more, too, I believe. Shut up, Mitch. So I'm curious, because we were talking about movies, and I actually did want to act. I did want to ask, as someone who acts a lot, what is your?

It sounds like you do want to act. It's still in you. I do want to act. Let's call that. That's what this is. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm always curious about different actors'

answers to this question, what is your on-set snacking routine? Do you snack a lot between takes? They ask. Is there anything in particular you'd like in your trailer? Right, that happens. I like to notice when certain actors on a one-hour drama and television on the networks, when they're doing 22

episodes or more, you can see through the course of the seasons who's snacking a little too much at craft service. And I make the argument, I'm going to say, between season two and three of Boston Legal, that James Spader blew up like a poisoned dog. Oh, man. And I love James Spader. He might be the first to admit it, that his body structure

completely changed. Right. And I don't think it was a thyroid. I think it was craft service. I've said on this, on Doe Boys, that in the show I was on Netflix Love, that you can see me plump up between just different takes. I mean, sometimes it would be the same take.

Right. And you'd see me going, fluctuating. Yeah. I have pictures that I took of the, so the table reads on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel look like a wedding. Yeah. There's flowers, it's insane. And there is a food line with a carving station and a

dessert station. It's nutty-nut-nut. And I take photos of the food options at the table reads to show to my friends at the Weekly Poker Game. This is what's going on at work for me. And so you really have to watch it, truly. Because I do, I can go sweet fast and deep if I let myself, either all in or all out.

And during September to the end of the year, really October, because my birthday is the day before Halloween. So Halloween's always been my favorite holiday. Hey, I'm an October baby. I love, it's a great month. Yeah. Yeah. Phenomenal.

Scary month. And you got Thanksgiving and then the holidays and then. So I kind of let myself go in the fourth quarter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like a lunatic. Knowing I'm going to take January off. Yeah, yeah.

That's what I've come to do. Not any sort of New Year's resolution. I'm just going to take January off from sugar and, and carbs. And you go to, you go to sweets, huh? That's, that's your, that's kind of. Unfortunately for me. Interesting.

Yeah. Sugar, the real drug, the real killer. It's impossible. I've never, Nick, you've done a good job of, of giving up sugar in your life. I can never do it. I love it though. I do love sweets.

Do you snack, when you're, when you do the craft service and stuff, do you, do you, do you go for the snacks? I always get my issues. I do like a breakfast burrito and then I feel sick the rest of the day or something. And then it's terrible. But I never do the specific, I never do too, too much snacking on set because.

You have to learn not to. Yes. And the more successful the show, the more ridiculous craft service. That's crazy. Yeah. It really is a buffet for gods and kings and queens. It's just ridiculous.

Yeah. I've, I've like, I've worked on a, for me it's like, like commercials are usually have just such insane budgets. And I've worked on some car commercials and it's just like, I remember one and there was like a, there were waiters with silver trays walking around with ceviche. They were just like, give it as like, this is, this is insane. This is so opulent and also unnecessary.

You have some, some peanut butter filled pretzels on the counter and people would still be happy. But I guess, I guess part of it is they're just trying to, to wow in the commercial world, they're kind of trying to wow the clients with like how much money they're putting into it. But it's, it's a, I think the thing that maybe is, is more universally relatable to our listeners is just like workplace boredom.

I do default to snacking and I think a lot of people do and it's just like, it's just, you know, even if I'm just working at a desk job, it's just so easy for me to just like have something to, to munch on, to just pass the time. Heating out of boredom definitely is, I think it's in human nature. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. And there's so much downtime if you're like shooting something that's just like, what, like there's just, you're sitting in a chair for, at least that's my experience. I'm sitting in a chair for most of the day. Also, I don't think I ever truly recovered from a childhood that was, my suites were controlled when I was allowed to have them.

Oh, okay. By, you know, parents. Right. And then, you know, other than the cocaine, Jamie was kind enough to allude to. I remember being 18, 19 years old and realizing, oh, I could have ice cream like three times a day right if I wanted to. You can have ice cream on a on set if you want to.

Every day, possibly. On some sets, you could have an ice cream every day. Of course. And then they bring the ice cream truck. Yeah. Also, you know, most shows now, today's, you know, there's a truck out there with pizza roll. You can't believe it.

So yeah. So I'm still recovering from the realization 40 years ago that I could have whatever I want. And yeah, that's a problem. I was going to say, this is getting into me fanning out too much. But Nick and I are huge Tom Cruise fans. He's, we love him.

Nick. Love Cruise. We love Mission Impossible. We love him. How was it on a few good members? He seems like a guy who doesn't. Cruise seems like a guy who doesn't snack much. I don't believe I saw Tom snack.

But I did find him to be as personable, inspiring, you know, generous with his time. More so than any giant star that I've ever worked with. Truly. And just when I say inspiring, I mean, his professionalism, his courteousness, his mindfulness of others, his sort of mother hen caring about other people's needs instead of his own.

He really does set a pace and a tone. That's awesome. Yeah, Jamie and I spent some time with him socially, of course. And while we're shooting that movie, first of all, I was really the only non-crazyly famous person, right, in terms of the lead cast. Yeah, looking back on that film.

So I'm just surrounded by movie stars. To me, more Kevin Bacon. Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise. Keep your Sutherland. Right. And in small day parts is Noah Wiley, Kuba Gooding Jr., Christopher Guest plays the doctor on the stand. Yeah.

So, you know, and Rob Reiner was a flawless head of the class director. Man, just real quick. Rob Reiner, he had quite a run in there. If you look at his filmography, he made like seven or eight great movies in a row. I make that point often. Yeah.

And each one different than the other. Right. Spinal Tap, Harry Metz, Sally, Misery. These are out of order. Hugh Goodman, Princess Bride, Stand By Me. Right. I mean, again, each one completely different than the other, every genre.

Everything, yeah. And he dominated every one of them, yeah. So Tom was amazing. I mean, treating me like an equal the moment I arrived in rehearsal. So much so that I found the stand-up comedian in me coming out and giving him shit about whatever I wanted. Because, again, he had made the mistake of making me feel

welcome. He paid the price. So I was Rickles in that situation. I gave Tom a lot of shit. And he laughed genuinely and heartily. And there's a couple of stories that I've just told so many times. But if you YouTube Kevin Pollock, Tom Cruise, and the

word pen, P-E-N, there's a story I've told. And on the Chive, they animated it. Oh, amazing. Yeah, yeah. And it was in my stand-up special. It's in my book titled How I Slept My Weight of the Middle. Not just a funny title and technically still available. So yeah, and the story speaks to his generosity, to a

ridiculous point. Maybe you should take a page out of your hero's book and start treating me that way, too, you sick fuck. Wait, you mean like with respect? Yeah. Well, that would imply that I have the same sort of status as Tom Cruise to you, which is not the case. Yeah, you do.

You look down upon me. No. I think you're just as cool as Tom Cruise. You think I'm a deep contempt. Yeah, so I mentioned to you guys at dinner that I got to go to this special little screening of the latest Mission Impossible movie in New York, because the guy who wrote and directed it, as well as Rogue Nation, the one

before it, is Christopher Macquarie, who wrote the usual stuff was great. Won the Academy Award for that at age 26, that punk. So he did a little Q&A before the movie ran. And he told a few stories about the shooting of it that were so amazing about Tom that I thought, you've got to go to every theater in the country that's playing this film, because if people knew this, for example, have you

both seen the film? Oh, yes, multiple times. And not real spoiler alert, because this was all over the news, and he shattered his ankle during one of the stunts. And specifically, though, if you see it again, and anyone who hasn't seen it, when you do see it, that jump he does from building to building, that's when he shattered his

ankle. So there's, I don't know how many cameras, I'm going to say seven, because it's my favorite number. There are many cameras set up for that shot from every angle. And there's one shot when he lands on the wall. He was always supposed to miss the jump and catch it with his hands.

And then pull himself over, which he does in the shot. What you don't know is that he shattered his ankle as he landed in the mis-land, but had the wherewithal, as the true professional, to pull himself over the ledge, as he was supposed to, and run past camera so Chris could use that shot, which is the one that's in the movie. They use in the movie. You can see him kind of limping as he walks by.

He absolutely winces the next time you see it. Watch a man's face take in the fact that he just shattered his ankle in the most ridiculous way. I mean, they had to shut down production and it cost millions of dollars. But you could see it on his face if you're looking for it. And then he limps, of course, getting past camera. But the fact that he pulled himself over and ran past

camera so that Chris could use the shot, in particular, from that camera angle is one of the most, I mean, any human being would have landed when shattering their ankles and said, fuck me, stop camera. I've just killed myself. So could we stop for a second? Could someone help me? I mean, you know, nope, pulled himself over ran past lens.

I got stung by a bee, and we shut down Doe Boyz for no reason. Same difference, same exact. We shut down Doe Boyz for, was it three months now? Yeah, it was a while. Yep. You are just like Tom. The next Tom.

So yeah, and just you mentioned that, and I'll just mention something else for people to Google. Christopher McQuarrie did a super long like Empire podcast. He did like a three part seven hour podcast where he just talks about behind the scenes of the Mission Impossible's. And if anyone's a super fan, like we are, check that out. It's an amazing listen. He's an amazing talker.

I want to ask you about poker a little bit. Because I know you're a poker player. Same sort of. Meals always catered. That's what I'm wondering. What are you eating at a poker games? Well, when I say catered, sometimes it's a fire pit. Pit fire?

Pit fire, pit fire. Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza. I always say it wrong the first time. Sometimes it's just that, right? Sometimes Jamie, like last Tuesday, got inspired by Lord Knows What and decided to do an early Thanksgiving feast. Whoa.

Wow. It was so ambitious that she absolutely, you could see it in her eyes, this was a mistake. But she did it, and everyone was kind of, I mean, like she made pumpkin pies. All right. You did that, you made a Thanksgiving feast for everyone? Just you cooked everything up on your own?

Yes, it came from. Thanksgiving, you're supposed to get help, too? That's insane. I know, it really is nuts. I found a slow cooker recipe for turkey breast. Oh, OK. So that was the catalyst, and it went on from there. It wasn't a full blondie's bird, but it was two giant breasts

that definitely come from a turkey. That cooked all day long. Right. That's a, you know what? We should have, that meal, it just goes to Thanksgiving. To get here and make your point. No, I mean, I wasn't there, but you said that that's what the poker players were saying,

like, why do we only do this once a year? Sometimes twice a year, because Christmas is a similar. Right. They're all saying, by Saturday, you're done with Thanksgiving food, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. Usually it's Saturday, and you just never want to see turkey again.

Right. So you think. So yeah. But so a couple years ago, for Brian Del Murray, actually, you did a pre-Thanksgiving like in September. I did a chicken, though. Right. But all the fixings that were just like Thanksgiving.

That works, though. If you get the stuffing. Yeah, right. In the mashed potatoes and gravy, then it works. Also, Kevin, I saw you pointed, Jamie, when you said peanut butter pretzels. Are you a big peanut butter pretzel fan? I don't know why.

I mean, I love peanut butter. You got a giant jar from Costco. I used to get those jars from Costco, but I haven't for a long time. That was the only reason, though. I remember you got the giant jar. Those jars, they can last, I've gotten one of those big jars, and it lasted like a year.

Either a week or a year. It really depends on who's home. Yeah, the real big ones. But it sounds like you like a pretty ornate meal with your poker games. So right. So it's always important to have pizza, which is the standard classic for poker.

Well, I've been to a lot of games over the years. Well, that's all they had. Doesn't even have the card's greasy. You don't want finger food. OK. Yeah. And if they're eating slices, then you definitely want a lot of napkins around.

Got it. It is definitely a poker etiquette to keep the grease the fuck off your fingers. Right. But one of our players has a chef, and that chef now cooks for the game whenever that player plays. So it is way over the top in terms of those meals, because it's nutty.

It's nutty. We're going to get that for dough boys. Yes, you've got to get a chef. A chef for the show. Or just only invite guests who have a chef. That would be nice, because we certainly don't have a chef. Right. We just happen to know someone who does.

Well, we have Jamie. Oh, there you go. What do you guys usually eat? And you live on the west side. I won't say where, of course. But what do you usually eat? Do you repeat food every week? There are certain places we go to all the time.

All the time, yeah. On the same way. Couple of breakfast places, S&W. Oh, yeah, it's a good diner. Right? Yeah. On Washington. Very solid.

Jay Nichols. Jay Nichols. Closer to Marina del Rey. Jamie, you could speak to where we eat. These are things that you know and remember. Because we were walking here, I was saying, because I was comparing our meal tonight to there's this great hole in the wall Italian place in Marina del Rey.

Or it's more Playa. It's Playa del Rey. And it's called the Catalini's Salerno Beach Italian Ristorante. It has five names. Oh, man, five names. I love that, yeah. I've never had a bad meal there.

It's everything's amazing. Which is hard to find out here to, I feel like it's tougher to get. It's very authentic hole in the wall Italian. Yeah. Yeah, so, and then this one can't get enough Arby's. So Arby's has to happen on a regular basis. Yeah, I was going to ask fast food.

But it doesn't happen on a regular basis. That's why it's special to me. It's never enough for her is really what she's saying. There's not one convenient to us. There used to be one in Santa Monica. There was, yeah. Is it a Wendy's now? No, it's a Wendy's.

Which for me is a lateral move. I'm an Arby's fan, but I'm a big Wendy's fan. But it was the one Arby's around. So it's a bummer that it's done. And there's another Wendy's over there. There's more Wendy's over there. That's crazy. One of my claim to fame that no one knows,

this is I'm breaking a story here, is in the early 80s, maybe 82-ish, I did a voiceover for a regional commercial for Wendy's. Oh, San Francisco Bay Area only, I think. Wendy's, we dare to be square. That's amazing. You got chills. We're losers, and that maybe made us the most excited

of all the good stories you told. That is the most exciting to us. Well, I got another one. I worked at the very first Togo sandwich place. Wow. Yeah, it was run across from San Jose State University, where I attended college for nine months. I graduated early.

My friends called it dropping out. But I felt like. But the very first Togo's in 1976 was right there across from San Jose State. I became friends with the guy who created them and owned them for years, and there's like 125 now or whatever. I got a question for you. Yeah.

So what was it like? What was the first Togo's life? I'll tell you, I remember a lot, because it really was an amazing part, anyone's life at that time. There was no tape in the cast register. Wow. Not even the spool of tape, the white tape tells you what something caused.

So you push a button, the thing opens. So we ripped this guy off blind, clearly. And I've told him that. I would pay friends when they came in to get a sandwich. They'd give me a five, and I'd give them change for a 20. That happened almost every day. But I loved making those sandwiches. There was an art form to it.

Each loaf of bread would make three larges, very specific sizes. I learned how to pop a bag, a sandwich bag. Oh, wow. So it was just a matter of a brown sandwich bag when folded flat as the way they mass produced them and delivered them. You would put your thumb inside and your forefinger

on the outside, and you would put it over your right shoulder and then pop it onto the counter, and it would balloon open. And let me tell you, that showmanship. It meant the world to me. It's huge. Yeah, no, I was just really learning to perform clearly. I was 18 years old, and that was part of the act. But I could pop a sandwich bag.

I think that's always appreciated for firm people who come into it. Don't you think so, Nick? It's always cool to see someone do a trick like that. I love a little pizzazz at a restaurant. Sure, yeah. So now was it, was Togo's like, and there were like 20, 25 choices on the menu behind us.

I'll have a number seven or number four, whatever it was. And was it like, I've already memorized what all those were. Oh, man, yeah. You want to be the guy who looks back, oh, yeah, which one is the number seven? Right, right. That couldn't happen. I've seen that in places I've ordered before.

I've seen the staff checking the menu behind them. And that's always a bad sign. And then you're not confident that you're going to get the best version of it, because if it's someone who doesn't know how to make it. And there were Togo's Olympics, where we would, you know, who could make the sandwich the fastest and still get all the ingredients correct.

I mean, it was pretty serious stuff. So this is the first one. Did you work there when there were no other Togo's? The very first one, there was no others. So was it a very popular place? Before the campus, it was the place to get a sandwich. Oh, God, yes. And have you eaten there since then?

Have you eaten there? Did you eat there in the later on? It was a franchise. Probably ate there until maybe the last time was 10, 12 years ago. Yeah. And did you think like the original had a sign? He drops this Togo's bomb.

You've turned into Anderson Cooper. My favorite sub now is the hot Italian hot capricole from. No, you like Capriotti's. You like the grilled Italian. Grilled Italian Capriotti's is my now favorite. If you want a hot Italian sandwich, you want cold Italian, you could go Jersey Mike's. Yes, yeah, that's a good call.

I usually go cold Italian, but I like a case of microlake. I don't like many hot sandwiches, but that one, they do it right. So was the original, could you taste a difference when it then became a chain? Absolutely. Just in the bread. Yeah, OK.

The bread alone. That to me is the interesting thing to me, because when a place becomes a franchise, that's such a crazy thing of a popular sandwich place, and then it's a franchise. It meant a lot to the creator and owner of the place. I mean, his name, I'm sure, is available online, Mike Kobler. That all the bread as he franchised out

and got more locations was as fresh that came from the bakery as the very first one. And he was quite amazing at quality control. But over time and over expansion, you're as good as your manager at each place. It's tough to do. There was a time that Dutch Crunch bread was just so on point, though.

Mitch, that was amazing. You turned into Mike Wallace on 60 Minutes, just grilling our guests about tocos. Oh, I love it. No one's ever asked me, and I could talk about it for days. But I really did love working there. That's amazing. I mean, just the fact to be in the first one,

that is the most interesting. It is weird. It's because we had a guy on who worked in the first dominoes. We did, yeah. And that, to me, too, I'm like, it must have been a completely different, it probably was a different restaurant. You know, and they were using real ovens

and not the conveyor belts or whatever. So that's fascinating, too. There were those chafing dishes for the meatballs and chafing dishes for the pastrami, chafing dishes for the roast beef. You would, you know. And they were turned over pretty regularly, and everything was pretty, pretty fresh.

That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. It's extraordinary, yeah. By the way, that guy who worked at the very first dominoes, William H. Macy. Was it? No. Oh.

It could have been. It was a guy. It could have been. Yeah. It would have been amazing. I can't wait to get home to my wife and have her be like, how was Kevin Pollock? And be like, oh, he worked at the first Togo.

She would be like, what? And then she'll tuck you into your bed in the other room. Yeah. Yeah. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We're here with Kevin Pollock.

Magianos is this week's chain. We all went together before this record, and I should mention your fiance Jamie, who's been chiming in, was in our party. And we went to the location at the Grove. Kevin, have you been to Magianos before? At that location, I think twice. OK, yeah.

That's the one I'd been to, too. And I think I might have been twice. I definitely, the last time I went was for a friend's birthday party. And I remember there was. This doesn't seem like you. It was. But you went out to a friend's birthday party?

This was a long time ago. But the detail I remember is she had an erotic cake she'd gotten. It was like a guy with his dunger out, and they wouldn't let her put it on the table because they were like, we're a family business. So that part of her birthday was unfulfilled. But yeah, and Mitch, are you a Magianos veteran? I was saying tonight that I think I've only been once,

and it was the first year I was in LA about 13 years ago. Right. I was in the very same Magianos. That's roughly the time frame for me. It's been a long time. And Kevin brought up that it is a tourist restaurant in any way. It's in a touristy shopping center, yeah.

Yeah, I met the larger universe of the Grove. Right, yes. Jamie was coming as we were driving to see you guys. The last time she was there was when people were in from out of town, her best friend. And the time before that, when I was there, was when her mother was in town. And it really was about not going just to that restaurant,

but the trip to the Grove. You're just trying to kill time while they're visiting is what you're doing. For sure. So whether it's the Malibu mart, right? Or the farmer's mart. I'll take people to three different marts in the week. Yeah, Marmalade out of Malibu is pretty great,

because then they get to see Malibu in the ocean also. And the Grove is, for people who don't know, I feel like it's the birth of this kind of modern outdoor mall. Outdoor walking. It looks like the Bellagio. Yes, yeah, it's great. Yeah, it is very casino-like in many ways. Except for the gambling part.

There's no gambling. But you will get your hand broken by someone with a hammer if you try to fuck around with that trolley. If you touch my Maggiano, that's right. And I think that a lot of people do go to Maggiano, because I think that the tier of restaurant it is is like a... Maybe the best one there. It is.

It's high up there. What else do they have? They got like a cheese, I mean, in terms of chain rest, they got a cheesecake factory. They got a buca de beppo. They've got a... Buka does not win. I'll tell you that right now.

No, no, I take a Maggiano's or a buca de beppo. And actually that does... Wood Ranch as well. Wood Ranch is very solid. My memory of Maggiano since it's been so long was that it was like an upscale buca de beppo, but that was not really our experience this time. I guess that is...

You pointed out there is an option to do that on the menu, but here we were getting individual entrees. And it is like... I will say we were seated pretty promptly in terms of... When we arrived, it just... But that was like the most prompt that things got. And then it kind of degraded from that point. We started with a bread basket.

Solid bread. Very good, warm. Warm, yeah. Warm sourdough, we think. Yeah, soft and warm on the inside, crunchy on the outside. Bread was very well done. Yeah. They gave you a little olive oil and balsamic,

and you can... For dipping, it's nice. It's quite nice. The prize there was the Parmesan shaker at the table, which every table had, which was a surprise for me. I gotta tell you that I very much saw what you poured the olive oil on, and you used a little Parmesan, and I was like, I'm gonna do the same thing.

What's the problem? And it was amazing. By the way, that was on me. I want credit for that. Everything food-related. Ultimately, Will, the paper trail goes back to turns of my evolution and ever-educated pallet. And then also, the guy, our waiter came with the balsamic.

Yes. Which was kind of, my theory is that people are spilling this balsamic on the tablecloths and making a mess, because it's a much quicker liquid than oil, obviously. Sure. Because he came around with the bottle in his hand, as opposed to the bottle already being on the table, like the oil.

And that was my first turnoff regarding the waiter, because he asked, would you like some vinegar? He didn't even say balsamic vinegar. So you had to know what the dark, dark, dark vinegar is. And then I said, sure. And he dumped about 5x what I wanted. Yeah, he really went for it. Well, here's the thing, too.

You had just made this oil with parmesan cheese in it. You made up your own thing. And then it gets washed away with the vinegar. I mean, the same thing happened. I wouldn't have added the vinegar had the option been on the table. I would have found the same thing. Oh, right.

But not that much. It just completely overtook anything that you had created yourself. Like, Jamie, when your coffee is perfect between the cream and the coffee. Right. And then they want to top you off. And they want to top you off and turn it back on.

Yeah, yeah. I have the same experience. And yeah, why don't they just leave it on the table? You would think they would just have it there. I mean, if you're talking about it being a fast, poor issue, like we mentioned, he poured so much anyway that, like, and also, why can't he just get it? He proved how quickly it poured.

Why can't you get a dispenser with a narrower nozzle? It might just come down to a cost thing. Yeah, that's a good point. People go vinegar crazy. It's a possibility, yeah. Or they decided it would be an interesting flair that popping the paper sandwich bag. Let's have the waiters walk around with balsamic vinegar.

Oh, what? Just the vinegar. I know. So it's a week. Why not both? Why not both? That would be flashy. Yeah, and it wasn't like he did a great show.

I mean, like you said, he put too much on every plate, I think. He absolutely did. Yeah. I mean, like, I will say, in terms of dining room flair, I'm very partial to any sort of table side prepared dish, like a table side walk. I like that.

Mm-hmm. So Caesar, Grace. Love that. Love anything that'll prepare a table side. And also, the fresh ground pepper. I love the fresh ground pepper. Give me the pepper guy. I don't know what the reason was for the vinegar man, but the.

I'd never seen it. Yeah, I'd never seen it. It was quite strange. Maybe that was the only point behind it. Yeah. Hey, no one else has ever done that. Right. Frank, what do you think?

It sounds good to me. You're saying each one has their own. Yep, that's what I'm saying. Let's try it. That's Frank Magiano. Frank Magiano was at the door when we walked in. He greeted us. Yeah.

So moving on from the bread, we got our beverages. You guys went with iced tea. Me and Mitch got some alcoholic beverages. Mitch, you asked an astute question. You asked if the lemonade was made in-house. Well, because specifically on the menu, it said raspberry lemonade. And then below it, it said sodas, and included in that

was lemonade. And I was like, so hold on. Why is this featured by itself? Because there was also an Arnold Palmer that was kind of on display, too. Yeah, among the non-alcoholic ones, they were shedding a lot of it. Which is what you and I were going to work on.

Yeah, it catches your eye, right? Like, it's really out in front. Under the non-alcoholic drinks, it's the first one you see. And it looks like it's something. And then he's like, oh, no, it's all minute-made lemonade. And with the raspberry one, we put some raspberry pulp in there. And I was like, oh, that's so nice. So one of the smoothest transitions

from one drink choice to another, you went from fresh lemonade to Long Island ice tea. That was, that really was a bridge gone too far. Yeah. How was that Long Island? Some may say one of the classiest cocktails you can get, Long Island ice tea. Some?

Sorry, many. Stan, you were trying to, you wanted that Arnold Palmer. You were trying to. That's close, right? Isn't that kind of close? It's in the same ballpark of flavor profiles. It is a boozy Arnold Palmer. You know what?

I'll say this. I understand your rationale. It made sense to me when I did it. And then maybe it didn't really execute what I wanted. But Lorenzo's Long Island ice tea is what it was called. I don't know who Lorenzo is. Probably a friend of Frank Magiano. But it was, it was, it was good.

The cocktail was actually, it was, it was good. And that's was my first impression besides the bread. And I was like, okay, decent, a decent drink here. Yeah. And then you had, they had a, they had an insane menu insert. It was like a hidden like feature of the menu. It's like a mad magazine fold in. You had to like dig in there and pull it out.

And we didn't know it was there until our waiter told us about it. But I put it for Alfred E Newman was on it. Yeah, he was and it pulled it out. And there was, I got, on that was listed one drink, which was a seasonal rum sour. And that's what I got. It came up in like kind of Manhattan style glass. You know, it was fine.

It was a fine adult beverage. Yeah, it was a fine adult beverage. I mean, it was like, it was very sour. I mean, like they were really leaning on the sour element. Not particularly boozy. I just felt like it tasted like an orange liqueur. It tasted like a, like a grand manier or whatever. You know, the sour grand manier.

Yeah. It was, it was, it was very, it was thick. I didn't love yours, Nick. No, I didn't think it was. I mean, it's a little too syrupy like you alluded to. And yeah, the sour really cut through. And I think if you really, really like a sour drink, that might be for you, but I would have preferred to get a glass of wine or

something with an Italian meal. Then we got onto our appetizers. We got the bruschetta bar tour, which consisted of five different bruschettas. I'll just list these real quick. We each had, I think, one of them, because they're not easy to share. You know what I'm going to find out is what I ate right now, because I don't know the, besides Kevin, I don't know if any of us know of the one that we had.

Right. Yeah. Well, you actually thought you might have had the beef one. I think, I think I had the beef one, but I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent sure. Yeah. Mitch, I think you're correct. Here are the options. Italian beef, which was a Giardino Nara, I'm not sure to say that. Fontina cheese and pepperoncini aioli.

A spiced shrimp, that's the one I got, which was, which was smoked bacon, roasted peppers and a corn fondue. That's what that creamy sauce was. There was a lot of that corn fondue. The tomato, which was the traditional, the roasted pear, prosciutto, blue cheese and balsamic. Jamie got that one. And then the candied smoked bacon, rather, which had ricotta,

arugula and fig jam. You guys split that one. You know, I thought it was, I thought it was fine. The spiced shrimp one was fine. It was very, very polenty. They, there was a lot of that cream sauce on there. Yeah. Mine was, mine was very, the cheese on the, on the Italian beef one was, was out of control.

It was crazy. We didn't even really know what it was. And, but I liked it. I thought it tasted really good. The, the candied bacon one, Jamie, what did you think? I liked it. I liked it. Okay.

I thought it was fine. A little too much candy on that bacon. Mine were, both of mine were very similar because they were both sweet. Right. And the candied one, the candy baking one, be more sweet than the fig and prosciutto one. But yeah, that was odd because both of mine, like kind of had the same palette. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. It's just a weird astray. And then Kevin, you had the, you had just the original. The classic tomato. And I thought it was very tasty. Yeah. And I think that they were, I think they were good.

They were fine bites. It's just such a strange, that like the, the, the bruschetta bar or whatever. It's strange. An odd thing to make into a sampler. I will say this. I felt they did the bread part of the bruschetta and there are six ways to pronounce that. So, forget about that.

The bread part of it though was to my liking. Perfectly. Yes. Yeah. Often it's too crisp or a little too crunchy or a little too not fresh. And we'll mention this too. Mine had made my hands very sticky and then they were sticky for the rest of the meal. Man, I hate that.

And like, I feel like I'd needed like a moist towel later. Like, you know, From the, the candy bacon one or the other? Both. From both. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they were, yeah.

So whatever it was, especially the candy bacon one. Yeah. That I will like, that's what I will order. If I'm getting for an app, I will get, even though I like regular wings better, I will get boneless wings over them just so I don't have sticky fingers to the duration of a meal. Like I hate, I hate that sensation. People know you always got sticky.

Oh, right. Where's your pervert? Suggesting I'm cranking off and then going into a chain restaurant. Hey, now. To remind another gutter. I was going to say, you're right about the bread. It was also, it was just chewy enough. Yes.

But wasn't too chewy. And I cut, I could cut through it pretty easy. I liked it. It was good. I just think that there was a lot of weird, if you had stuck to just one or two kind of closer to normal flavors, I think we would have been better to go. I would have preferred the base level one.

It's the grilled cheese or macaroni and cheese thing, where it's just like, when you start adding, throwing in extra ingredients there, just give me the basics. I think that in its simplest execution, it was its best form. The crispy zucchini frite, I believe is how you say it, frite maybe, I don't know. But this was like a fried zucchini app. That was the other one we got.

And it came with a big old, like a soup bowl, a ranch dressing for dipping, which I liked. I liked that there was a lot of dip and sauce. This was interesting because they were like full length slices of zucchini that had been sliced on a mandolin. And then like a panko bread coating, I thought they were nice and crisp. The coating didn't come off. This was really good.

It was just pretty heavy. I was impressed. It was good. I thought, we talked about the cutting of the zucchini at the table, and how a lot of the times that can be too, I feel like my experience of these all the time is that I bite into it, and then I get burned because it's lava. Exactly.

Coming from zucchini. Because I feel, we discussed this, that they're normally sliced into spears. Yes, like fried pickles, basically, yes. Yeah, this was thin enough where it didn't retain all that heat. And they were nice and crispy because of this. Yeah. Yeah, they're really good. Yeah, it was like good tempura.

Go ahead. Oh, I was just going to say, and then the other way that they could have sliced it would just also with a mandolin, but like in chip form, which I've had it like that before as well. But I feel like there's something about, I like that it was like long, like they sliced the zucchini long ways, and it was very thin. Yeah, the length of the zucchini. I have to say I found the length off-putting.

It reminded me of breaded trout. Yes, that's how long it was if you're looking for a visual. It looked like fish and chips minus the chips. I like the presentation. I like that it was, I don't know, I thought it was a... I was being snarky. I thought it was very unique. I'm taking this very seriously.

Yes, I know you are. I know you are. I respect that. We each got a salad. I went with a maggiano salad, which was prosciutto, red onions, blue cheese, house dressing, a lot of red onions on there. It's just a whole bunch of red onions with that lettuce blend. The prosciutto was really just came...

It was basically bacon bits. I wouldn't have known it was a prosciutto. Crispy prosciutto, they said. Yeah, strange. But they were like little, small, little like, almost like an Italian red pepper flake size. And it just made a face. She did not like the sound of crispy prosciutto.

I don't think prosciutto's supposed to be cooked. It's cured. Yeah. It's supposed to be hot. I've had it crisped up before. But I mean, this was like, I'd rather just get full pieces rather than these little tiny niblets. But overall, it was a fine dressing.

I mean, the blue cheese was a nice element. How was your guys salads? Well, Kevin, you had the Caesar salad. Yes. Respectable for not table-side serious service. Right. Just in terms of their own dressing. And yeah, it was respectable.

Sure. And then Jamie and I had a tossed Italian salad. There was an issue. There was a snapper. We got one. And Jamie, you got the one salad. And I was like. They brought two Caesars.

They brought two Caesars. And we needed two Italians. That's right, yeah. So they left one Italian in front of Mitch, who then graciously gave it to Jamie, which reminded me, just now, even that was a bad move, by the way. They were only one and we were missing one. Right.

It should have gone to the lady. But he had already delivered it to you. Also, remember when we ordered our food, he didn't ask me first? Yes. He was like, whoever wants to go, whoever made eye contact with him. That's what he said.

He said, whoever makes eye contact with him. Yeah, it was a very. He was hoping it was his last night by choice. And he kind of phoned it in. Yeah. Because God bless you. Yeah, you never know. I mean, like, you know, I tried to be weeded at a place

like that, I mentioned. There's, I imagine waiter or waitress has too many tables. It was super, super busy. I think there's a huge part of that. The dining room was always full. Yes. We always try to give service. People who work in the service industry,

the benefit of the doubt, he didn't do a good job. I mean, we can say that he did. He did a lousy job. It was tough because there were just long breaks between when we were getting checked on and just long delays in service and no real like updates on how anything was going. And I understand sometimes the kitchen gets backed up,

but it's you like someone to check in with you. And I would say, how long was it before I got my cell? He came back to the tables and I said, we still have, he's, he was asked to clear the salad. I feel like it was a 10 minute gap before you got yourself. I think about 10 minutes. Which is insane. Yeah.

Also, I wasn't crazy that the appetizers arrived with the salads. Like I would have liked the app, so then a bit of a delay before the salad. Timing was an ideal. Well, especially for a night that was the time when it was all over the place, nothing really, like we were there for a very long time.

He didn't check in on us for a long time. So it didn't seem like they had to come at the same time. I felt like there could have been a little break between the two of them. I will say though, that he always had a good attitude. Like he didn't have a bad attitude at all. Very friendly, right? A bait friendly fellow.

Yeah. Nice guy. Maybe, you know what? Could other stuff could be going on, but not. Absolutely. But it was all going on tonight. It was all, something was going on. And it was, it was, I'll say that it was,

it looked like every table was taken in that place. Right. And it feels like they just pump people in and out of there. Also too, when Nick and I went to the restroom, there's like two giant parties going on up on a level too. That's crazy. There was a wedding in one giant room up there. It was bananas.

That's crazy. It's crazy. Same kitchen, I'm sure. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what?

I'll say this. Once the salad came, I like that. I loved the salad. Like it's a, it was a perfect little Italian tossed salad. It was great. It was like a step above the olive garden. It was like an individual sized portion, olive garden salad, but just like a notch higher.

Much better. Yeah. Right. I like, I really, I really enjoyed it. And I liked that olive garden salad. It was, and it was, it was a little, it was a little better than that. And I think that that's maybe what you guys just touched on is, is you can kind of, kind of encapsulates Maggiano's as a whole, right?

It is like kind of like olive garden stuff, but just like up a few notches. And that, that brings us into our entrees. So I got the Parmesan crusted tilapia, which comes with a, just really just a big old piece of fish. And with a little crust on it, it comes with capers. This is the biggest fish in the ocean. It was, you had so much fish on your plate. I think they gave me two filets.

Cause it was just, it was. I saw two filets. Yeah. I think, I think it was two of them. I think it was one giant fish. I know, but I'm, I'm giving an answer as if I was sworn in by a court. There were two pieces of fish on your plate. Cause I remember thinking pretty early on, we all sort of agreed,

I'm taking half this home. These portions are too big. Yes. And I remember looking at those two pieces of fish thinking, will he just eat one of them and take the other one home? Yeah. And that ended up pretty much happening. I mean, you almost wonder if it's by design.

I feel like we all did that. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I just meant the two pieces of fish. The fish is, I mean, especially so much fish just seems strange. Right. Yeah.

So it also had some sage, some lemon butter, and it was, it was served over a whole bunch of spinach. The spinach was quite, quite nice. And I liked that it was just soaking in that sauce. And, you know, it was, it was, it was flavorful and well cooked and, and didn't get too, you know, sometimes when it's sitting underneath a protein, it gets, it gets too wilted. But I think it was actually like a, like a perfect sort of texture and consistency.

The tilapia, you know, aside from there being a lot of it, it just didn't taste like the freshest fish. And, you know, that's on me for ordering fish on a Sunday night. But, but, you know, I do feel like it would, it felt like it was something that was either, you know, was previously frozen or had maybe just, just sitting in that, been sitting in that fridge for a little bit. It's a big no-no, Nick.

Yeah. But especially in Italian, I liked that you got it because it's an interesting thing to get. But it doesn't feel like, I don't even know if they really need, but outside of Calamari, do they need, do they need a big seafood selection at this restaurant? You gotta have seafood. That's like an Italian staple.

At this place though. Yeah. Why not? All right. I think especially they're doing like a, like a more upscale version of the, of, of Italian. I mean, like, yeah, they think you gotta have seafood. All right.

Sure. You're in Italy. Isn't that a huge part of Italian food? It is. It is a big part of it. I'm just saying at Maggiano specifically, I feel like there's so many steak and fish, chicken dishes already. Right.

Do they, do they, do they have an extensive fish menu too? They're, they're a big seafood menu. No, you gotta do il mare. Oh God. Great. Fuck you. What did you guys do on the entree side of things? I did chicken parmesan, classic.

I wanted to try it. I think that's what I got 13 years ago. And it was good. It was like, it's a step above Olive Garden, like you were saying, but it wasn't, it didn't blow me away. I, it wasn't a, it was, and it comes with a little, there's two chicken breasts in, you know, just fried, the lightly fried. They did a good job.

It's just like the overall taste of it. I don't know if it was, it was that great. Right. It came with a little side of spaghetti. With a nice red sauce. With a beautiful red sauce. And it was, it was fine. That pasta looked overcooked just, just visually.

It was okay. It wasn't actually, it wasn't that bad. But it, it, it's hard to even explain it because I can't even really break it down besides it was just like slightly above average chicken parmesan. Sure. I feel like the sauce was a little, like the, the red sauce maybe just isn't the best red sauce that there is.

And it, and, and, and that, that's it. There's nothing else I can really say about it. I was satisfied. Yeah. Like going into it too. I, I was thinking about getting a steak or something, but I feel like that's such a classic. And they do it just fine.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's maybe as good as it needs to be. Exactly. Yeah. Kevin, how about yourself? I went with the shrimp de avalo, I want to say.

Spicy shrimp with fettuccine. And it was nice. It was nice. I will say in, in terms of my experience with the food and my experience in the past, the few times I've been to Olive Garden, that this was, this whole restaurant, the vibe, the food, the tablecloth, the everything is a solid step. Or two solid steps above Olive Garden.

Right. Yeah. In every regard. Yeah. That's better. That needs to be said. Yeah. That's, yeah.

You may have endless bread at Olive Garden, but you didn't have this bread. Sure. You're right. And the last time we went to Olive Garden, it tasted terrible. I mean, I'm just thinking back to it right now. That was a pretty bad visit. It was a bad visit.

And this, this food was is much higher quality. I feel like the best review of Olive Garden is going to be, it was a solid meal. Yeah. Yes. It was a solid meal. And if you're wrong with that, and I think you're lucky, you would not say that about Maja.

I don't feel like that would be the review. I feel it would be either, I don't know, the red sauce wasn't as great as I thought it would be. It was slightly above average, what you guys were saying. Yeah. I'm sorry. I felt the need to. I know.

That's great. I think you, I think you should stick up for it because you're right. I, I, this, this is a better, it's a better presentation. It's a nicer restaurant. Yeah. The atmosphere is nicer. Everything about it is quite a bit better. And by the way, the thing I was saying about the fish,

I was just saying like, like fish filet, I don't know if you need at this restaurant. Like a shrimp pasta dish, I think is, is fine. There's a lot. A nice salmon, maybe. A nice salmon. And then, and then that's it. There's a lot, there, there's a lot of options on this menu.

Yeah. Yeah. For just the thing that's two-sided. Whole lot of pasta dishes. Yes. Yeah. Which we didn't even really. Yeah.

We didn't sample that. Jamie, you had the. I had the chicken marsala. Marsala. But where, which I wasn't thrilled with, but I think this was my mistake. And I went with the, they had the option of you can do the lighter version.

And he said that the only difference was it came with a fettuccine noodle as opposed to a spaghetti noodle. And I, I'm used to getting chicken marsala with a fettuccine noodle. So I went with it and the waiter even said, there's no difference in the taste. I think they taste exactly the same.

It's just a different noodle. And so I went with it and it did not have enough sauce. And also there was caramelized onions on it, which I don't think is supposed to come on, or like every other chicken marsala I've ever had has just been like a mushroom wine sauce. Yeah. I don't know why there was caramelized onions.

That is, that sounds strange to me too, Nick. The waiter's reasoning is baffling. The idea that fettuccine would sit like, the idea that that's like the calorie savings in and of itself is fettuccine versus spaghetti. It's clearly less sauce. Right. Yeah.

It's like saying, oh, this is the sandwich's health. Do you want the regular version or the healthy version? The regular one comes on sourdough. The healthy version comes on white bread. It's like those are, they're calorically going to be basically identical. There's something else you're doing with the ingredients. Less mayonnaise.

Yeah, exactly. And then you recall he said they taste exactly the same other than the, the, the noodles just different. That's not a good liar. I'm going to go down there and once this is over, I'm going to go down there and get my ass kicked by that guy. Nice. Dessert course, we got a New York style cheesecake

and a cannoli chocolate cake, couple of cups of coffee. The cheesecake, pretty standard seasonal berries, sauce of fresh berries and the cannoli chocolate cake, a bunch of different like, I feel like it was, it was maybe nine layers of chocolate cake. I think he said it was 10 layers when he described it. Yes. And with the kind of a cannoli cream in between them.

In between like what looked like chocolate cake. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. There's the pistachio creamy frosting. Right. Yeah. And then there were the pistachios on the back of the cake, basically on the, on the, on the cakes, the cake's bottom.

Well, that's the, it would be the top, right? Oh yeah. The side, it would be the side of the cake, really. Yeah. You put it on its end and it's, it's, it's, what is that? The cake's ass. It was what, where it is.

Can we say aft? The case, the cake's aft. Well, it would be, if you were slicing a cake, it would be the top and then the side. Right. That would be a must. Yeah. Yeah.

It was on the side. I really enjoyed that dessert. I did too. Yeah, it was quite nice. It was, it was nice and moist. And also, I think the waiter did say that I was good, so we got to give him props here. Yep.

And it was, it was, it was really tasty. How did you, how did you like that cheesecake? I thought the cheesecake was very typical of a, a perfect New York style, authentic New York style cheesecake. You had a really good graham cracker crust. Yes, it did. Yeah. A lot of your better classic cheesecakes comes down to the crust.

Yeah. Oddly and a good call. Yeah, that was, that was the, the deal maker for me. I also liked just the whole strawberries. Those strawberries were nice. Yeah, they were, and they were, yeah. Nice, nice, uh, fresh produce. Yeah.

They are, yeah. I only know that because Jamie cut up a few this morning. Yeah. Yep. They were, they were, they were, they were, it was very good. The dessert was a nice little, uh, it was, it was a nice closer, closer to the middle, even though at this point we were, we were there for a long, we were there for two and a half hours.

I think that, I think that has to tie into our evaluation. We had a 630 reservation. We got it out there at 9 p.m. Uh, it was, it was quite a, quite an ordeal. And you guys had coffees, correct? You, you, Kevin, you had a, uh... I had a Maricano. And it was all right?

It was indeed a perfect Americano. Perfect. Nick? I got a cup of decaf because I can't have caffeine after 5 p.m. When with the placebo? Yeah. When the placebo, I went with just the hot brown with, uh, no additives. Um, it was...

And it, it's, if you have, you're like a gremlin. If you have coffee after, after a certain time, you go on a murderous rage, basically. Is that right? No, I'm, I'm up all, I'm up all night. I'm not making mischief. I'm not committing crimes, not turning in a Jack the Ripper,

the night stalker. It could be an interesting defense, though. The old gremlin defense. Right. Uh, well, let's get to our final thoughts on Marziano. So, Kevin, here's how this will work. We'll each go around and, uh, and give our closing argument, if you will, and then assign this a rating on the order of 0 to 5 forks.

And, Jamie, feel free to chime in with your thoughts as well. Uh, but Kevin, you're our guest. We will begin with you. Okay. Well, as I said, I felt a need to step up my defense of the place. Right. When it was suggested that it was slightly better. I don't know if you would use the word slightly. That might be, uh, unfair, but, uh, a notch or two above Olive Garden.

I would not put them in the same conversation. Correct. Uh, is my take on it. Uh, I love Italian food. It might be my favorite kind of food. It might be my favorite kind of food. Certainly my favorite country to eat in. Um, so it's a far cry from the great Italian restaurants that I've, uh, been to.

But, uh, I felt it was a very solid Italian meal in all regards. And I felt that my food anyways was, uh, very fresh in all of its ingredients. Um, the big, uh, problem, really the few problems came from, uh, a waiter who was, uh, either one of the seven reasons we, uh, politely gave as to why he was, uh, a slow. But I also sense a passing off of the football, like he would take the order. Other people would bring it. Right. He would say, oh, we'd like, Jamie and I would like to have a refreshed round of iced teas.

He would take that information, give it to someone else. And then that genius would take 10 minutes to accomplish that simple task. So I don't know that all of it actually fell on him. The, uh, more fancy of the two desserts I felt was, um, surprisingly wonderful. And, um, so overall of five of forks. Um, I'd give it a solid 3.25 forks one time. Very good score. All right, Jamie, go ahead.

Okay. Um, I really enjoyed the zucchini appetizer, the bruschetta one I could take or leave. The bread was excellent. Salad was good. My entree wasn't great. I think that was a miscommunication or my mistake. Like I feel like I poorly ordered, um, desserts were good. Yeah.

Service was slow, but that restaurant was packed with like two parties upstairs. And yeah, I feel like it was a lot of like miscommunication with the like the server would, you know, take our order and then, you know, disappear and pass, as you would say, like pass the football to somebody else. Um, and I just feel that I could get like this home of all dying plays that I mentioned that's in Playa, like I could get a way better meal there. Right. And it's every time, every time it like it, it always like knocks it out of the park.

And here, and I have to take into consideration, like it's in a very touristy area. It's basically in a mall. This is someone like everyone there was like in large groups with their families, obviously. And that's the only time I've been there prior is whenever I was like, my mother was here from out of town and like we went there because you're going to be able to please everybody with this meal. So I would give it a three. Three forks, three forks.

Very solid. Go ahead, bitch. Kevin, I'm with you. I think Italian food is my favorite. Kevin, I'm with you. I think Italian food is my favorite food and a way that we evaluate restaurants on here is like how good are, how good is this company doing it at? Are they doing the best to their ability at doing what they're setting out to do?

Is this, is this, is this what is, and here's my issue with Masiano's. What is what? I don't even know where it falls in what place it falls into. I love hole in the wall Italian places. I feel like the east coast has a billion of them out here. They're harder to find and I love Italian food. And there's a lot of great Italian restaurants out here. Don't get me wrong, but just kind of like the red sauce pasta places and this

doesn't really like Bucca di Bebo is that it just is trying to be a red sauce. Hey, here you go. Here's the, here's the shit. Eat it up. You idiots. And then this place is kind of like it's a little higher class than that. Right. And the food quality is better.

It is better. It's, it is, it is better than Olive Garden for sure, but it's not that great. I'd rather eat it if I'm going to go this much, especially with how expensive it is. It's not like it's cheap. It's not like a really cheap restaurant. No, you're spending a good amount of money. And they give you good portions for the money you spend. Yes.

I'll say that too. We all took half our food. Our entrees were $20. Yes. Yeah. And, and, and for the amount of food you get, it's not bad. It just is confusing to me. It, it like, why would you go to this place over?

John and Vinny's is up the street from there. Why wouldn't you go to John and Vinny's? Like you would go to John, 100% go to John and Vinny's and, or, or try to, or the place in West Hollywood, the kind of the red sauce place that's like the old Italian place in West Hollywood. But like, I forgot the name of it. So it's not helpful. But, uh, oh, there, there is one that like that too, though. I think, I mean, whatever, there's, I don't know.

Now that's going to drive me nuts. Yeah. You know, you, because you went, I think you had dinner with me there. We had a big text group. Yeah. I know, I know what place you're talking about. But I just don't know why you go. Oh, Dan Tannis?

Yeah, Dan Tannis. Yes, thank you. Which is more like kind of a kitsch factor, but it still like has character to it. Why would you choose Magianos? Between those two, you know what I mean? Like, I'm going to go to that one, I'm going to the other one. That's the only thing I think of, which I had mentioned. There was a lot of families there, a lot of large parties.

I feel like, because like when I was growing up, I'm 36, when I was growing up, like you went with your family to the Olive Garden, like for an event. Like after like somebody's like graduation or something or something or like you went there. And I feel like that's what Magianos is doing because the Olive Garden has like lowered itself to like you'll just go there on a Tuesday for lunch. Right. Yeah. And you can eat all the salad and bread you want.

But you're right. I think maybe, and that is, that is an accomplishment to feed that many people. There was a ton of people in there tonight, but it just isn't, it's not, it's nothing that great, but it's also not bad. So I'm going three and a half forks. I like it. I think it's good, but I'm not going to go. I'm not running back to Magianos.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it'll be a while before my next return trip. And then that may in fact be, end up being podcast related if that's the reason, for some reason we see revisiting Magianos is something we should do. It is pricey and you have to keep that in mind. I mean, I think Jamie touched on it that this is for, you know, this is for birthdays. This is for anniversaries.

This is for prom night. And I think that's a big part of their business. In fact, when I called to make the reservation, I mean, actually you saw a call to make the reservation. Thanks, you saw. They ask if it's for, if it's for anyone's like, if it's for any special occasion, because I think that's just like so much of their business is they're, they're wondering like, you know, what are you celebrating?

And then that's, that's what you're there for. To answer your question, Mitch, which is like, why wouldn't you go to, you know, a local spot? My answer would be maybe you live in Scottsdale, Arizona. There isn't a great local Italian spot. But that said, I think there's enough great Italian food across the country now where I think wherever you live, there's probably a great local Italian restaurant. There's probably a good local Italian restaurant that's going to be, you know, in the ballpark price wise with what a Maggiano's is, but also be a notch above in terms of quality.

That said, it's fine. And I think it's, I think it's got a lot of crowd pleasers. I think, I think a lot of kids would love it. I think, you know, this might be a great spot for dad's birthday, depending on your family situation. And I think you have to consider that I think it does that part of it well. So I think we're going to be ballpark buds on this one. I mean, I'm going three and a half forks as well. Wow. Okay.

It's a fine, perfectly serviceable Italian restaurant that's maybe a little pricey for what you get. Well, that was our review of Maggiano's. It's time for a regular segment. Wow. We've got a food stuff. We're going to decide if it's worth putting in your mouth. It's snack or a whack. Kevin, can I tell you, Susser told me to say this.

Our friend Evan Susser, in front of the podcast. Oh, I got to get, I got to give you the. Told you to say. Oh, I'll tell you, I'll tell you in a second. Okay. What? Oh, I don't need, I don't need this. Oh, you don't. Oh, yeah, we're not doing this. No, there's no song that goes.

No, there's no, there's no dumb song though. Although maybe I should come up with one because we seem to do a lot of Oreo stuff. And that's what this is. This is the chocolate peanut butter pie Oreo, which is the new flavor. Kevin, you're an amazing impressionist. Graham flavored cookie, peanut butter and chocolate. I'll let you finish. Go ahead, Mitch.

Evan Susser wanted us to do a segment that was first impressions. And you would eat a snack and then do an impression based on the like, like your response to the snack. I can do that and Nick Weigar, Vito, Evan and I, because I was going to do one too. Well, if I do one, then there's almost no point in yes. I feel like you do one. You should do yours for that's a great, a great, great looking after you. I vetoed it for this very reason.

It would have been equally. No, I'm happy to. So I had the queerest brag of anyone you know, and that is the politically correct use of the term, in that if you Google Christopher Walken impersonation, sometimes over 60,000 search answers will come up. That's how pedestrian it's become to do Christopher Walken. There are five pages on YouTube dedicated to Asians doing Christopher Walken. And they are fucking hilarious.

Yeah, I am the number one search on that Google search. I come up first. Again, the queerest brag you'll ever hear. Yeah, that's an utterly worthless. I wonder where I rank on that on the, I've never put, I've never put a video of myself up there. So I guess I don't rank anywhere. I think you should do a walk in impression, put it on YouTube and see where it ranks

in the metrics as an experiment. Kevin, I'm coming for that number one. Yeah, I think it's great. And you have a social media following you could easily surpass. Heavy set buffoon. So I, Christopher Walken fail. So should I sample this and then remark on it as, please? In whichever impression you think, but I'll just say this about it.

Oh, wow. Okay. Oh no. Oh no, bitch. Why? No, no, it's perfect. It's perfect in many ways. One, you did yours first, very smart.

Two, it's W-O-A if you really want to get the right walking. Wow. So I would say that the first person I saw do Christopher Walken on television was Jay Moore. He did Christopher Walken psychic network. Yes. So he sat on a couch in front of a phone and waited for it to ring. Right.

And so when I asked him, when Chris McCrory and I actually were somehow on the Warner's lot together, we were producing and casting something that we had created that never saw the light of day. But we saw him and chased him down in our golf cart and said, what is the key to your Christopher Walken? Because we're working on our horrible one at the time, about 1996. And he said, when doing Walken, every single syllable word becomes two syllables. So the word woe becomes wow.

Oh. That's amazing to break it down. Yeah, that's great. Well, that's what, if I may in all due respect, that's what the people who do this well do. Now, I also was doing a podcast for a while. There's about 15 episodes available, however you get your podcast, called Talking Walken. Right. Where I would have someone come over and we would shoot the shit just two people, like my dinner with Andre, only inexplicably I spoke only as Christopher Walken,

never mentioning him or me, just two voices talking about the minutiae of life. Right. And one of them is speaking as Christopher Walken and we don't know why. So, and the reason for that really was my favorite type of Walken is really the conversational one who doesn't necessarily have to push any particular word or a piece of word, really. And also it's the whisper. You got to get the whisper in there if you're going to do it right.

So here we go. I'm going to send, what's cooking policy? I was going to try one again. This is the chocolate peanut butter pie Oreo. Okay, I'm chewing. I'll be honest, it's what you expect. There are no surprises in this cookie, which may be a good thing or bad depending on what you're going for.

But I'm enjoying it. I think I would finish it if not for the chewing sound in people's ears, which I don't personally find enjoyable. So I'm going to stop about a third of the way through this particular cookie and say, Oh, I like it. Who's next? Feels like a solid snack. You know what I have to say about that name.

It's me, Bill Clinton, a sign of a good impression as you say the guy's name. Yeah, that you have to say the guy's name is the son. I'm going to say whack one of my favorite activities. Oh boy, because you're famously horny. I'm going to say whack. I didn't like it that much. I agree with you that it has a nice taste. Oh, I might do soft snack, a soft snack.

Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't race back to this, but I'm enjoying it while I'm eating it, just because I like all sweets. It's not blowing my mind. Are you guys getting an overwhelming graham cracker taste on this? It is. It's the graham cracker cookie is what it is. And I'm not sure why that, how that quite conveys chocolate peanut butter pie. That the graham cracker crust would be in the pie?

I guess, yeah, I guess generally would have a graham cracker crust. Not always in my experience, but sometimes. That's crazy to me. That was the thing that was off-putting to me. Yeah, I will say to me, I don't get a lot of chocolate. It's like a nutter butter with a graham cracker cookie. Like that's what it is. It's just like a lot of, a lot of peanut butter.

Yeah, you know what? I'll do soft whack on this one. Yeah. That said, I mean, I don't dislike it. I'd rather have a regular Oreo. It's pretty far removed from an Oreo in terms of flavor. How many go for Blunzie's whack? I can't finish it. Wow.

Yeah, oh wow. Kill Blunzie's whack. It went bad. It went bad. Well, Jamie, what did you say? Did you? No, I agree with Nick completely. It just tastes like, I didn't get a lot of chocolate in it.

Right. And I purposely, like when I first bit into it, I tried to get like equal parts of chocolate and peanut butter. And then it went on each side. And then I went on each side of the cookie to give it a full review. Right. And I just feel like it tasted like another butter with a graham cracker cookie.

And I never got chocolate out of it. And I would rather just have, I'm also not a fan of these or like these gimmick Oreos. I really just like an Oreo, a double stuff Oreo or, but I do love the Halloween Oreos, which are just double stuff with orange food colored regular cream. But they taste different for some reason. Yeah, they taste better.

I don't know why they taste better. Because you like Halloween, that's why they taste better. But I would rather just have a regular Oreo or another butter. Yeah. Yeah. I just realized that they're, they're trying to do and they're trying to do another butter. Yeah.

But why the chocolate? Because I don't taste it. There's no real reason for it. But that said, if anyone out there has a favorite Oreo spin off flavor, hashtag Oreo speed wagon. Let us know, let us know what's working for you. By the way, guys, we're going to give you these Oreos to go. They're yours.

They're your prize. When you say you guys, you mean you specifically? Oh, that's unnecessary. Yeah. I also are appreciated. Listeners will love that I stepped on your Bill Clinton impression to continue doing mine. No, I think it's great that you threw it out there for people.

But you know, shake it up. I think it's exciting. These are exciting times. Wow, there's two of us in here. Is there? There certainly is. Did you say two or did you mean three? That's right.

It's me also Bill Clinton. Oh, there's three of us. Whoa. I think I know an activity we can do. Auto focus. Does anyone have a blue dress? That was Sack or Wack. Just like a restaurant.

We've got your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. This week's email comes to us from Matt from SF. Hey, SF. Matt writes, I love the show and I love my wife, but a year and a half into our marriage, she just revealed to me that she is a strange dipper. We stopped at a Starbucks while driving to SoCal.

She got one of those little protein plates with assorted snacks and a little container of ranch. Key detail. She proceeded to dip every item in the ranch. Carrots, apples, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. No. All of it. The only one she didn't like was the sandwich.

So do y'all have any weird dipping habits, pairings of items and dips that one might not normally assume go together but you like anyway? Kevin, anything come to mind, weird dipping? The only thing that comes to mind is that letter not ending in, we're no longer together, makes me want to not respond to this guy's plan. Right.

It's quite insane. I can't imagine dipping an apple slice into ranch dressing. That's bananas. The peanut butter and jelly sandwich got me. That's so weird. That's insane. So weird. That's sweet.

Right. It doesn't make any sense. I think you're trying to prove something when you dip a peanut butter sandwich into ranch dressing. You're trying to prove that you love ranch dressing. It belongs on everything. Yeah. And forgive me, you're also trying to prove you're an idiot.

I don't know why you wanted to prove that to your husband. He seems to love you. Clearly standing by you. But he did stand by you enough to share that with us. That's, I think that is disgusting. I wouldn't like to see a peanut butter and jelly sandwich get dipped. If my loved one was doing it, it would gross me out. That's gag reflex type for me.

The only strange dipping I think I do is I will, if you get a dip sampler, I'll take the onion rings and put them in the marinara sauce for the mozzarella sticks or whatever. I think that's fair game. That's not that crazy. I do fries and mustard. I think that's fun. I'll do that occasionally.

Okay. So that's not that crazy. That's not, that's not odd. Yeah. It's a little off, off, off beat, but it's not like acceptable. Bizarre. Lower Mayo, I know in European, in Europe, they like to, they dip their, their french fries in Mayo a lot of the time.

Jamie will go there. I like that. She'll go there. I love, I love fries in Mayo. Yeah. But nothing, nothing like that. That's that. I mean, no, nothing like that.

We spoke briefly of the dinner. I ingested my need to declare that five guys had the best french fries. That's right. In Southern California. Hi ho, he ho. Hi ho, cheeseburger. Hi ho, the new place in Santa Monica has a french fry that I also deeply, deeply love. Jamie and a friend of hers, Corey Levin made french fries in a fry,

fryer at our house. I hand cut the potatoes. For one of the poker games. They were hand cut. I'll let her describe to you how the process, just in terms of the way. Just the way they're cooked. This is how I love them. This is why we like five guys.

And I believe hi ho is doing the same thing. Now, this is according to Alton Brown. This is how you make the perfect french fry. You want to cook them at first on a low temperature. And then whenever you want to serve them, you cook them again at a higher temperature. Second time. Then you shake it in the bag.

And they get that double cook. That's when they're, you know, when they're like brown. Yes. That's what creates that. You shake them in the bag with the salt. Yes. I use lorry seasoning salt. Oh, that's a good move.

That's a great salt. Yeah. Wow. We started with this insane dip question. We ended up with a great home cooking tip for making your own fries. It sounds like you can dip those fries in anything. They sound delicious.

So the French, for the point I was getting about bringing about the tipping, when I dip, excuse me, when I get the five guys French fry, which is my favorite of any chain, I do not need ketchup or dipping of any kind. Wow. I get the Cajun. Yeah.

Oh, yes. French fry and then no dipping necessary. That's almost, maybe it might be as crazy to people as a crazy dipping. I feel like nothing at all. And I'll enjoy a French fry, but I will always usually go to ketchup at some point because I like to get a little ketchup on there.

But if it's a really well done French fry, I'm with you. And we, you know, we talked about this. Five guys is good. We were hard on it during the tournament of champions, but it is, they do a good. We came around to five guys. We came around. Five guys is great.

Yeah. I like that they put up where the potato is that you get your French fries from, even though it changes, it changes a lot, but they'll tell you where they got the potatoes from. Sure. Sometimes I'll go in there and just get fries on a soda. Yeah.

I like just the unapologetic fuck you to anyone with a peanut allergy. There's just so much peanuts there. There's peanut oil, the fries, peanuts all over the floor. You can't even come in the premises if you're looking. I stand by them on that decision. Yeah, it's great.

Also, I clearly needed to interject that the Apple Pan cheeseburger is the best cheeseburger in Los Angeles. Yes. Wow. Also declared by Elvis Presley. Whoa. His favorite cheeseburger in Los Angeles in the 60s.

Wow. And mine is today, 2018. Yes. I think when Elvis would order that cheeseburger, he might say, well, thank you very much. Oh, my God. If I may, he would say, thank you. Thank you very much.

Double dip it. Double dip. If you have a question or comment about the world of Jain restaurants, you can email us at doboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844. To get the Do Boys Double, our weekly bonus episode,

join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash doboys. Kevin Pollock, thank you so much for joining us. Jamie, thank you so much for being here. Kevin, do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? Well, the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, we just finished shooting season two.

I'm not allowed to tell you exactly when it drops. I'll just say before the end of the year, 10 episodes, season two. We just cleaned up at the Emmy, as they say. So much so that it was palpable in the room by the time we won Best Show in the audience. It was like, these fucking guys again. I mean, it was really kind of weird.

Right. I will be back for season two of Better Things, the Pamela Adlon show. What else? I'm a little, oh, the Kevin Pollock chat show. And then I'm allegedly directing a script of mine in the new year. So look for something called Waiting for Helen

that was announced in the trades just a couple of weeks ago. Hell yeah. And also I want to give full credit to my better half, Jamie Fox, that's her real name, Eric Bishop, for turning me on to your show and for being such a devoted fan who will not shut up about this show. That I became enough of a fan to want to get to know you both. And I will say, if you ever have a chance

to have a meal with these fellas, please do, because the personalities and demeanors at dinner, I'll dare say versus the ones on the podcast, are very, very well-mannered and respectful. Wow. You know, you guys are a little tough on each other. Right. Which is great entertainment.

But it was not at all your personalities I felt at the restaurant. You were both extremely, again, very like, I would say well-mannered just because it's a dying art in terms of caring about other people's needs and very just wonderful dinner mates and companions. And I think I would say let's go have a meal together before I would say, hey, let's do another podcast.

Yes. No, no, I'm kidding. I'll come back any time you'll have me. But I wanted to give full credit to Jamie as to why I'm here. Well, likewise. And it was, we took about seven hours of your day. So thank you so much for doing this. This is great.

Yeah. Hey, you know what? That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for The Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. Hey, San Diego.

We're doing a live show at the House of Blues on Friday, November 30th. For tickets and info, go to headgum.com slash live and look for Doe Boys. Surf's up. See you there, buddy. Now you're speaking my language. That was a Head Gum podcast.