Doughboys - Magpies with Andrea Jin

Episode Date: September 17, 2026

Andrea Jin (@andreajin, Grandma's Girl) joins the 'boys to talk birds, dessert hierarchies, and the farm before a review of Magpies. Plus, another edition of Food Court.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Hey, buddy, you know, I've been traveling a little bit more internationally than I used to in the past. And a language I felt would be beneficial to know, not just for traveling, but maybe for just living in the Southland. Here in Southern California, Spanish. That's right.

I'm talking Español, Mitch, which I've been learning. Even just 10 minutes a day with Babel, which can help you start having real conversations in as little as three weeks. Wow, in as little as three weeks, whites. Instead of memorizing random vocab, you're learning phrases you'd use ordering dinner, asking for directions, or talking with locals. What I like about Babel is it's built for real life, not vocab list, not verb charts, but real conversation practice. Lessons are quick, practical, and built by more than 200 language experts. They have interactive dialogue, personalized reviews, even podcasts, all designed to get you speaking quickly and confidently.

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If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babble.com slash doughboys. That's babble, B-A-B-B-B-E-L.com slash doughboys for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. Do it. Amid the roaring 1920s in the U.S., a fittingly stupid age of avarice and waste,

a novel insult came into common usage, bird-brained. Derived from the archaic bird-witted that dates back to the 17th century and later shortened to bird-brain, lose the id, it's cleaner. The term means to impugn someone's intelligence by comparing their brain size to that of an avian dinosaur descendant. But in a bit of irony likely lost on the kind of dullard or dits you'd call a bird brain, actual bird brains are anatomically denser with neurons than those of mammals, meaning, much like a solid state hard drive, a lot of data can be packed into that snug little skull. And the brainiest of birds are those of the family Corvadeh, whose intelligence is on par with great apes.

In rare game terms, that means Kazui is smarter than Banjo and of equal intellect as donkey, Diddy, Dixie, and even Funky Kong. Corvadee or Corvids include Ravens, Crows, Jays, Rooks, and Nutcrackers. Yes, that's a bird species, not just a weirdly horny Christmas ballet, and are capable of pattern recognition, planning, and tool use. One species of Corvid can even recognize itself in a mirror. And that intelligent, and perhaps vain bird, is the namesake of a soft-served ice creamed emporium that's a recently hatched L.A. institution. First opened in the Silver Lake neighborhood in 2016 by Life and Business Partners Rose and Warren Schwartz, their best-laid plans for a gentrified version of the chilled sweet treat played out as a best-case scenario, proving worthy of a cheat-day slot for famously health-conscious locals.

In fact, its enduring popularity and rapid expansion have proved that upscale soft serve, both in cream and pie form, was the kind of genius idea that could only be cracked by bird brains, which is, of course, a compliment. This week on Do Boys, Magpies. Welcome to No Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Red Baron Trump, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Wikes. I'm tired.

Yeah, you're tired. You had an early day. Early long day. Bebe, wee, bee, bee, bee, bee. I hope that doesn't happen during the episode. But we have such a great guest. We have a great guest. We'll power through it regardless.

even if you nod off. But Mitch, you're doing it. Oh, I'm falling asleep. I can't even do, I can't even do the fake version of this. I'm too tired. Early morning.

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, uh, something in wise. Healthy, wealthy and wise. Healthy, wealthy and wise. Words I live by. Shut the fuck up.

I'm gonna kick your ass. Maybe I'm the cranky one tonight. That's weird. I've dealt with most of my life, you being a little cranky bitch. I think it's about time I get to be one. I swore we're doing a late record, and our guest is doing us a favor by showing up to this late record. This is because of your schedule. You book something.

So we're starting three hours later than usual. Working my man Gronk today. Four hours later. Four hours later than usual. I mean, I was writing it down to see if, you're going to be always writing it down to see if we should cut it out. But I worked with my man Granc today. I think I can say that.

I think I can say I worked with my man Grok today. Four hours later than we usually start, and I get cranky when it's too late. So, I mean, we'll just see where I, but I pledged everyone. I might get a little loopy, but I will not be cranky. I'm not going to be cranky on today's episode. Well, get out of that loop, my man. Don't get, don't get looped up. No, it's okay if I'm loopy.

Loopy is good energy. Loopy is fine. I'm just saying to get cranky, because that'll bring the mood down. You've been on a loopy run with the pod. Some of you. No. I haven't been on a, you've been on, you've been on, why are you getting mad at me? I'm not cranky.

I was, oh, God. It feels like I'm walking into a loopy. Into a loopiness. There's been a few loopy episodes in a row. There was a Selman episode that was loopy, and then there was a DeAngeloa episode that was loopy. They might not be coming out in that order, but two loopers in a, two loopers in We had two loopers in a row.

We had a loopy week. Where's the loopiness coming from? We're still trying to figure that. Yeah, I don't know. I think any, here's the thing. One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small. I was saying, go ass, Alice. No, I'm not, I'm not hopped up on goofballs, Mitch.

I come in here sober, but I, you're a fuzzball. Hey. Sucks. Mealy's a meatball. Yes. You're happy? I like it. You want to be a meatball?

Yeah. People love meatballs. People do love meatballs. Although ironically, you don't. Yeah, I hate meatballs. Oh, yeah, what the fuck? Okay, never mind. I just meant that as an Italian slur.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, guys. Red Baron Trump, Mitch, was sent in by RICO S. Rosedon Swahaw. It is like Rico Swab. You know, my dad, My brother, Malfa Brother Nate, back in Gerardo's heyday. That's the name of the guy who did that song Rico Swab.

If you remember that song Rico Swabay at all, I don't think it probably permeated the culture. I'm not sure. Yeah, because I think like in, I don't know if it made its way to Canada at all. 80s. Also, like it's like, I mean, it was in the 90s, but I'm saying like 80s babies would know it more. Maybe. I don't remember what it was. Anyway.

Are you in 80s? Are you, no. 96. 90. Oh, my God. You're not even close. Mitch, you don't ask a woman her. I do.

I genuinely wasn't even thinking what it added up to when I asked if you were an 80s baby. I didn't even think about it. And I just realized like, oh, yeah, we're old as fuck. We're old as soft. I'm almost the 70s, baby. I mean, you're really close to 70s, baby. Yikes. Yikes.

Hey, baby Wags, man. That's 70s? Hey, yeah, it's a little bit like the 60s. We kept it going, man. My brother, my alpha brother Nate, was at Disneyland. This is in Gerardo's heyday, who had the, who was a one-hit wonder, who had Rico Suave. Yeah.

And he said, Gerardo was there with his entourage, needed a leather jacket, and in diamonds on the back it said Rico Suave. That's good as hell. It's weird that I like that when he does it, but the fact that McLeaven's license plate is McLevin, I don't love. All right, mark this for edit. Why? What's wrong with that?

I don't even know McLevin that well. I don't know why I don't like it. It's not fair, maybe. I've met him before, a lovely man. He was, going by the Mitch rule, he was nice to me. Here's my thought.

Yeah. Here's my thing with McLevin. Okay. I went to Ithaca. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is Grudge Mitch. This is Grudge Mitch.

And Amelia went to the Dave Franco and McLeaven show, but didn't come and watch the birthday boys. I only did that because I got a ticket in somehow. I wouldn't have gone to that normally. This was a thing so I don't even feel like we should, we need to give you context for this because it's so dumb.

Mitch is mad about the thing that happened. Yeah. Have we? I don't know. Mitch is mad because he went to Ithaca. Hold on. Mitch is mad. I'm not really that mad.

Mitch is not that mad. Honestly, you want to hear the truth? Yeah. I'm hurt. Oh, no. Mitch is an Ithaca alum, as is Amelia. Obviously different generations. Why the gorgeous we pledge.

Go bombers. That was your backup. Amelia also went to I think of it. I don't you know the song. I don't know the song. Mitch had Mitch's sketch group, very funny sketch group, the birthday boys, all composed comprised almost entirely of Ithaca alum's,

go back, do a show there. It's contemporaneous with an event that was actually, I think, a T-Mobile ad, a T-Mobile-branded thing. That you worked on. That I worked on by sheer coincidence. Oh, you piece of shit. I told you this before. Yeah, well, well, well,

Well, interesting. Guess I was Burger Brigade before I knew it. That was Dave Franco. Hey, guess what? Now you're in trouble. Dave Franco and Christopher Mince Plas, who played McLevin, and they went and did a different event, and Amelia attended that instead. But this was before she'd even met Mitch.

Yes, I didn't know Mitch, and Mitch brings this up to me every two months, minimum. He really does. And also my professor, Onus, who is great, my screenwriting, Elizabeth Nonis. I went up to her and I was like She's my favorite professor in college She's like hi and she was like hi I'm Elizabeth Nelson I was like fuck she forgot me And she was like where's Mike Hamper?

I said she fucking remembers Hamper doesn't remember me Nobody likes Mitch Everybody likes you I know You're still such a bitter man To who? I'm not bitter to most You deal with my bitterness as most

Because you're fucking annoying as hell Mitch you might find this annoying as well Because you know I wear my My fandoms on my slim I'm a big Los Angeles Lakers fan. I'm a Varong fan. Literally on my sleeve up here. I got Varong tattooed.

Have you seen Avatar Fire and Ash? The third one? No, but the water one. I saw the water one. Did you like the water one? Yeah. And I heard it's similar. Yeah, it is similar.

Are you going to get a Josh Kushner tattoo? I totally like it. New owner of the Lakers, Josh Kushner. Josh Kushner. No, perhaps partly inspired by that. I am getting into the English Premier League, Mitch, also because of my newfound football fandom, proper football from the World Cup. exciting that was, the

English Premier League where there are no bad owners. And I become a football hooligan. Man, you can't be a worse guy. I give you credit, you up it every year. Something new and annoying. He's a fucking Premier League guy now. This sucks. I

specifically... We can't record on Wednesday because the Premier League is going to be some bullshit like this is going to happen. You know it's going to happen. You have all sorts of reasons we can't record. Hey, look, sometimes it's my fault. today no actually we did it today we did it today it's fine we're just doing it late

we're doing it late and I'm not cranky I'm a little loopy we need to do oh go ahead I'm specifically well we need to play you to play your drop before we use a guest I'm specifically a villain I'm following Aston Villain

or Aston Villa rather I should Aston Villa I'm a villain who follows Aston Villa I'm a new fan When the fuck did this happen Who you're talking to when I decided on Monday And I'm One of the eight million, I'll say this, since you and I became friends, uh, started collaborating for economic convenience.

That's not why we got together. We've been friends for a long time. No, no, I disagree with that too. Since you and I became friends, I'm in one million text crews with you. I don't know. Here's the issue. That's not fully my fault, Mitch. It is partially your fault.

No, it's not partially my fault. You are, it is partially your fault. It is partially my fault, but that means it's partially your fault. Yes, but here's the thing is I have to read every text and you don't have to read any text. This is the difference between the two of us. But then you're also a machine. I'll just see you go through and you go through like a billion text. And I'm like, I'll look at my phone.

I'm like, I have like 3,000 new text. And it's you and eight different. It's the yogurt text chain. And now he's over here in the movie text chain. And now he's in the dick lengthening text chain. First off, how dare you impugn the yogurt text chain? It's just me asking Wags advice. And he'll still go off for like 15 minutes.

I guess I've told you, joking doesn't work. Don't believe the ads. I don't believe you. Doesn't work. I've been a million different text chain with you. I don't know how you do it, but you do it. But you're acting like I'm like constantly on the phone. No, you're not.

You take a day off on the phone. But I feel like the way your OCD manifests as opposed to mine is you feel like you have to read every single text. And like, I'm just like, that's impossible. I'm not going to be able to do that. I can't. Not in my basketball group chat or my new premierly group chat, footy chat. I'm pretty far behind right now. Yeah.

You can see. Oh my God. 900? That's a lot. 943. Right now. Too many. Yikes.

Thanks. Thank you. You guys satisfy some time for that. Hold on. Let me click on the dick lengthening chat. Okay. I have 15 text messages now. Well, we're talking text.

You know, your, your lovely mom, Mrs. Mitchell, comes up all the time on the podcast. Yeah, what's going on? You texting her? No, I'm not texting your mom, although I could. We've had a lovely, we had lovely Tescas changes in the past. As I have had with Courtney, your sister. Yes. Lovely people.

Love the Mitchells. My sister now has met Amelia and loves her and calls her her sister and text stuff that I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. We text. My mom, Mitch, here comes a new challenger, enters the picture today. I texted with your mom and dad. I know. We've mentioned my mom in the podcast before, but like, here's a little bit of a mom text. To me, I read today that people are taking medical advice from podcasts.

Not sure that's a good thing. My mom's a retired nurse. Natalie replies, no. And then my mom replies, I can hear it now, but I heard it on the doughboys podcast. Wow. Can you imagine? That's, she's right. Your mom is right.

She's right. She's always been very good to me with health stuff in the past, being a retired nurse. She's been very helpful to me. And I know this is contrary to what my mom just said, but to talk for some medical advice going out there, joking doesn't work. You can't just attach weights to your dick to make it longer.

It doesn't last. Your mom has given me great advice. I've started taking hydrochloric clean, methylene blue. Your mom gives me awesome. My mom does not be less maha. I was joking. I know you.

I know you were. I know you were. We are having fun. We're having fun. We are having fun. I trimmed, you reminded me of the IFC slogan when you were saying that. It was, are we having fun? I remember when we were.

It was? Is, are we having fun yet? And like we had to put our show on. and that was like the sl-it. It was like, no one's gonna, no one watches this channel. No one's gonna see this TV show. We didn't release a CalPackas episode yet, right? The double?

Oh, what time this comes out of? Oh, okay, all right. No, we just gave a little hint about birthday boys stuff in there. That's all. Fun. I trimmed my beard last night and I trimmed it a little too much. You can see too much skin through it now. I just went a little too.

What do you mean? You went too close? You did like a number one. I did a three, honestly. But still, it was still a little too. I just went a little too far. You don't go to a guy? I do, but I don't know.

My mom is coming to town on Sunday. She likes me to have. She likes, I got to make mama happen. But you can do a special appointment with your guy. I should have gone to a guy. I'm going to get my guy to trim the eyebrows. My eyebrows are a little out of control. Yeah.

Yeah. What do you do with your eyebrows? Don't do anything. They just don't grow? They're like this. I get, I do get rid of my, like, a little tribrow. Like a little, like it's not like a monobrow, but it is like a little patch of hair in here. That all that'll just shave with a razor.

I'll say this wise. You're going to love this. I'm not particularly bushy anywhere. You know what I heard from Gronk today? What's that? I got my first pedicure. He got his first pedicure. Hey, that's great.

Or manicure. I forgot what it was. Did you do a color? Not that I didn't, I didn't, I didn't then say, may I see your toes? Mr. Gronks, sir, may I see your toes? Emma, hit him with a drop. We have a Coco Ichibanya song we sing, which is, Cocoa Ichibonia.

Kokoichi Banja. Matt Apodaka and Heather Ann Campbell with me. Cocoa Ichibanya, Cocoichi Bania, Cocoa Ichibania, Cocoa Ichibania, Cocoa Kokoichi Bania. Everyone is here. Cocoa, Kokoichi Banja, Kokoichi Banya. Kokoichi Banya, Kokoichi Banya. All right, that's Yoshi's, I got it wrong.

It's a good song. I think I speak for Heather and Campbell when I say this, but y'all are a bunch of dorks over there, my man. She does it too. Yeah, but she's on my side on this one. Hey, Do fam, sending in a drop referencing the catchy get played Coco Ichibanya song that has been sung a multiple get played episodes and the Do Boys' Times get played crossover episode. Wow. Wow. Cheers, drop Jeannie. With ten tickles in the Doe score. A great integration of a bunch of audio from Yoshi's

Islands, who in Mario World too. Yeah. Why, so you just recommended Cocoa Uchibania to a friend today? I was just thinking, because Mitch, you were asking for, we should introduce, I guess, jobs at JavaScriptherpocket.com, but you were asking me for Rex in my part of town on behalf

of a third party, and this third party's husband was a doughboys fan, naturally. And I was just trying to think of some restaurants that they could go to that were perhaps a little bit more L.A. specific that we've also reviewed on the podcast. Yeah.

So that was one of them. I pulled. Kokoichi-I-Bai. I thought it was a great, although a chain, but still. Although a chain, but still. A great. It depends on where they live. I wonder if our wonderful guest has been.

I love Koku-I-Chi Banya. Is this true or you're just making that up? No, I like it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wow. Wow. It's good.

It's good. From the late, late-late show, the animated series Digman and her stand-up special grandma's girl. Cocoa Ichubanya fan. Andrea Jen is back. Hi, Andrea. Hi. Thanks so much for being here.

Thank you for having me. We're happy to have you. Sorry. It's so late in the day. It is late in the day. We also, you also are fitting us in between your own travel because you've been on the road and you're about to go on the road again tomorrow.

So we appreciate him to say that. I didn't even realize. I didn't hear. I was too tired to hear it. When I got here, I don't know. That's rude. I'm sorry.

No, it's okay. No, I love, I love the podcast, so it's nice, always nice to come back. It's always nice to have you. Yeah. I have to ask.

You always, you always have some weird. story that you tell on it's great and i have something but i'll put you don't have something i have something oh my god all right right because i just realized i'm not sure well should we save it or i just do it i think i think maybe just do it because i didn't know how to ask about i'm not i am not sure but have i mentioned on here that my biological father is or i found out my biological father is someone else and my dad that I was

thought was my dad yeah yeah have I mentioned that I talked about the farm I talked about the farm you have talked about the farm right okay so I'm thinking maybe I have and that's

and my dad that I grew up with might have listened to the podcast because he started he's ghosting me and my mom that's okay but like But I was like, oh, did I say it on the Burger King How to Train Your Dragon Meal Pot episode? Wow, I wonder.

Maybe if one of our archivists fans out there can find out if that happened or not. I hope doughboys didn't do anything. I feel horrible. That was the case. No, no, no, no. I volunteered the story, but I was thinking because we were trying to find my dad. But I'm sure it's fine. It sounds really serious.

I think it was more like, did I? I say it on a podcast, and I don't remember appearing on much, many podcasts. So then I was like, oh, maybe I said it because I mentioned the farm last time. We've heard about the farm. We've talked about the farm at length. But that's when my mom told me. So then I was like, oh, did I, did I, did that story also piggyback onto the farm when I mentioned it? But I guess not.

So now it's on the podcast. Oh, my God. At what point in your life did you find this out? When I was on the farm. When you were on the farm? Yeah, that's why I was like, oh, maybe I mentioned it. Because the only thing, the thing I remember most vividly about your farm experience is that you had to get rid of a rooster because he kept kicking the shit out of your grandpa. Yeah, which I loved.

I mean, I loved the story. I felt sad for your... It's okay. He wanted to do that. You know? Yeah. He went in there. Yeah.

He exposed himself to the chicken, so it's fine. Yeah. Just like how I'm not private. When you say exposed himself to the chicken, you mean just like was, showed himself off to the chicken? No, he just was in an environment where there's a bunch of roosters around. Oh, got, got, got, got. So he put himself in that situation. So if he gets kicked, that's not exactly like a mystery, how it happened, I think.

Right. Not to victim blame, but he put himself in that situation. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not that private about finding out who my real dad is. So then I'm thinking because my dad hasn't been responding to me. And I was like, oh, maybe he heard on a podcast. Right.

But it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. It's also okay. How, like, what was the context of finding this out while you're on the farm? Because it's already a weird situation. You're kind of isolated your, this isn't like your family. farm you grew up on. This was a thing that your family, you know, came to own later on.

Yeah, just three years of it or four years of it during COVID. But it was just my dog was giving birth. And then my mom just came up to me and was like, oh, I need to tell you something. And I was like, what? Was it, do you think that was like the cattle was the dog was giving birth? Yeah, I think it reminded her of like being a mom or something. I don't know. And she was really serious and I was like literally pulling placenta out of my dog. You know, it was like all happening. What the hell is going on here?

It's the farm. It's the farm. It's the farm. It's the farm. It's the farm. Okay. It's the farm. And so this is happening.

And then my mom's just like, yeah, I have to tell you something. I was like, yeah, I have to tell me all that. Um, and that was that, yeah, she just decided one day. Because I was 25 years old and she forgot to tell me. I think she meant to tell me sooner. and she was like, oh, yeah, I think you should know by now. She's saying, like, she's saying, like, I should tell you by now. She's saying that you shouldn't have figured it out.

Yeah, like, as in, it's getting too late to tell you. Yeah. Wow. That is fucking wild. Yeah, because she just, she held off on it for so long because she just put it off. But it doesn't feel like it was like, and emotionally, like, you know, and I don't mean to undersell it. But it doesn't feel like this was this emotionally unmoored you in a substantial way where you're

kind of like, oh, my world is completely different than I thought it was. I think it did for a few days. For a couple days until, yeah, because my mom kept being like, oh, it's, you know, it's actually this guy and it was this guy who was around. But I thought he just wanted to date my mom. This does sound familiar to me. So I don't know if he did tell this story or maybe just told me. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Maybe I did say it. Maybe I did, and we just can't remember anything that's happened on this podcast, including you disclosing extremely private information. Yeah. Maybe I did say, because I don't know why, but anyway. The guy was just around. Yeah, the guy was just around and he would come visit and he would be interested in talking

to me. And I would think, that's weird. You're trying to date my mom. Why do you want to talk to me? But I thought that was his way in of like setting himself apart from the other guys that was trying to court my mom. Yeah, maybe he's just being a pick up. up artist in some sort of way.

Yeah, like, you know, a roundabout way to get to my mom. But it turns out it was like he was my biological father. And then my, yeah. That is wild. The other guys who are trying to court your mom. It's like she had like many suitors. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. It's like a Penelope situation. Yeah. Yeah. That's wild. Exactly. It is like a Penelope situation. It is like a Penelope situation.

Let's talk about food. So a magpie. What happened to that dog placenta? My dog ate it. Oh, hey, not bad. That's probably good. Your dog got pregnant on the farm? Yeah.

Wow. Too many suitors standing around. It's another Penelope situation. It's a lot of Penelopee situations in my life. I can get up to that farm. There's a lot of a... I'm a suitor. I don't consider myself a suitor.

And have sex with a dog? What are you talking about? Hold on. There's a lot of Penelope's on the farm. Got it, got it, got it, right. Andrew's mom and my dog. Anyway. So here's what I want to talk about.

Because we did a Patreon episode with you, a creature eater where we talked about a bunch of fictional creatures and whether or not we'd eat them. We're dealing with real creatures right now. Dog placenta, put it on the table. Would you eat it? Yes. Yes.

I try it out. Especially, well, if I knew the dog was fine. If I knew the dog was fine, and also if I knew, like, it was safe. Because that's, we're just to assume in all these situations, it's not going to be. And the puppies were fine, right off. And it's fine. That is, do you, do you did this? Yeah, I cut it, I cut it with scissors.

I don't mean this as an insult at all. I cannot picture you in a million years doing that. That seems so insane. I did have to Google a lot of stuff. Yeah. Wow. But she knew how to do most of it. She was, like, biting it.

She was trying to bite it. her teeth are too small so I cut I use the scissors they know to like get it off of them yeah and she knows to start eating the placenta it looked delicious it did she made it look yummy because she you know what does you make it look yummy because she was eating it like it was yummy you know what I mean like you know when someone's really enjoying their food and it's like oh what is that like I'll have what she's having kind of thing if I was at the farm I would have been tearing into that thing and growling at her. It's hard for me to fathom eating a part of my own body.

But I guess it's a natural thing, right? Yeah. I'm not that crazy to you. Okay. I think all you had to do is chew. Well, I guess it's something you've been growing for many months and it's it housed the baby and it was nutritious for the baby. So the baby was eating it, I guess.

Yeah, I don't like anything. I don't know if I like anything from my body. I don't like anything from my bottom. I mean, I've tasted it all, but I don't want to be regularly eating it. I don't think I've tasted anything. You don't taste it anything? I was never kidding. I don't even like to talk about this stuff.

Okay. But I was, I never drank my piss when I was a boy, and I never, I don't even want to say it, but like, booger stuff. I'm not going to get into it, but like that's gross. I agree with you. I'm saying, I didn't even say anything, but I'm just saying like none of this stuff I did when I was younger. I legit and I have not done this act either. I legit would eat my own shit before I ate boogers. Wow.

Prove it. What? I'm not going to prove it. I'm not going to prove it. I'm just saying like I think I'd rather, that to me seems less good. I told you I didn't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry I brought it there.

It's not your friend. But like nothing. I brought up the farm and then it got to the boogers. fluids, though, all the fluids are on the table. The closest I've been is like biting my fingernail. That's the closest I don't want anything. I don't want anything. Okay, so let me just amend this.

I want anything from anyone. I don't want to try anything from anybody. Anything solid I'm not into, but all the juices I've tasted them all. Oh. The liquids are a different thing. Yeah. You know what the fuck are you talking about? The liquids are different.

He's too probably. What is a liquid, kind of? Well, that, I mean, I've inadvertently tasted that. Yeah. Like either like dripping down your face as a kid or post nasal drip. So like, you know. Sweat you're saying? Sweat I've tasted, of course.

Yeah. Blood I've tasted. Yeah, I've tasted blood, personally. The, you know. Blood, all right. Blood is like a blood sausage or something, but that's so different. Yeah. Like that's the closest I am to like eating fluids.

Here's what I wanted to ask. Also, I just want to give a shout out because Emily, you, it was CJ. Her husband was who you. Emily and CJ. Hey, buddy. Thanks for us in the pod. Oh, okay. So we're talking.

You got a great one. We had a blast today. Wow. We're talking magpies. A magpie is a bird. What is your favorite bird to eat? Pigeon. Wow.

Have you had it? I have had pigeon, yeah. Yeah. It's not bad. It's not bad and it's your favorite? Wait. I thought of flying birds. Chicken, obviously.

Yeah, chicken. Yeah, I forgot chicken as a bird. How do you forget chicken? They don't fly that much. They don't fly that. I get what you're saying. I got what you're saying. I thought of a flying bird immediately.

Chicken is my, and I like turkey. Chicken turkey. I forgot turkey. Turkey. I think you're, I think, yeah, turkey, duck. Oh my God, I forgot duck. Duck is so good. Duck is really good.

Okay. So, all right, a bunch over. There's a bunch over. Duck. What's the thing they call pigeon in a restaurant? Squabb. Squab, yeah. Squab, yeah.

I didn't know that it's a bird. Well, squab is a pigeon. I think they just don't want to put a pigeon on the menus. I call it a squab in like a fancy restaurant. It's like I think Americans would be squeamish about is like, I don't want to eat a pigeon, but they eat a squab. On that list, that's my last one then. Okay. Yeah.

Because I forgot everything we just said was a bird. So, okay, duck is mine. Duck is a great answer. Duck, good answer. So good. How do you, wait, how do you, like, did you have a favorite duck preparation, a favorite duck dish? Peeking duck. Peaking duck.

Yeah, I like the duck skin. You wrap it up in the crepe thing. Yeah. Yeah. What are those things? Whatever. They're good. Poison and the cucumber and the onions.

It is good as hell whenever I've had a proper version of it. But like, like, duck is just not as, as frequent a part of my, you know, the things I'm eating. But like, like, chicken I'm having regularly. Chicken I'm having the most, of course. I do like duck better. You know what my mommy's just served at my house? What's that? No peaking, duck.

Yeah. There's the thing where she used to say to me, no peeking. She still does do it. No peeking. Like she's like, I'm going to the shower. No peeking. She says shit like that. I'm like, ugh.

It's fucking gnarly. Sort of like a Penelope situation. Sort of it is like a penelope situation. But her husband's dead. I've been waiting around a long time. Oh, no. Oh, man. Duck is good as hell, though.

I like duck more than turkey. I mean, I think chicken takes number one by default for me because fried chickens are my favorite food and I just have it so often. Love fried chicken. I love fried chicken. I've kind of because of you, I've been like, this probably isn't right,

but I'm like, chickens are assholes just because I heard it from you, so I am kind of like, fuck chickens. They're really mean. They are, but I just, I'm hearing it from you. I don't know if there's like probably some people who have a chicken and that they really like. No, ask all the chicken people.

Their chickens aren't just jerks? Yeah, they'll say roosters are all jerks and hens are okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. Nobody's like, this is my friend. Okay, all right.

See, I've taken this perspective because of you. I've heard that Werner Herzog thing where he's like, oh, chickens are so unbelievably stupid. Oh, no. Yeah, there's a clip. I'll send it to you, but he just basically is like they're so stupid. Please do. I want to hear it. So we can eat all the chickens.

Everybody eat every chicken. It's fine. It's like they're not even a lot. It's fine. There's no moral, you know, qualms to have with it. Exactly. I also love eggs. Eggs are really good.

Yeah. Honestly, that probably puts chicken over the top for me as I love eggs. If we're counting the eggs, because I like, yeah, I have a good duck egg. Quail eggs are situational, you know, like, you don't like turkey. Everyone's turned against turkey. You love a turkey from Jersey Mikes. Turkey is gross to me. It's so dry.

I only associated with dryness. I do like the turkey sub from Jersey Mikes. Well, there you go. But turkey is not in my top tier poultry. I mean, that's like definitely. I just eat it way more than I eat duck. I like duck. Well, it's more commonly available in states.

And peaking duck is probably my favorite version, like a crispy skin pekin duck with a little, a crepe thing. Some of the crepe things. Yeah, yeah. About a duck larange. Honestly, no. No, wow. I don't like, you know this. Oh, you don't like citrus with meat.

I don't like citrus with meat as much. Except for orange chicken. That's the only thing. Ooh. Yum. Here's what I'll say about eggs. And this I learned actually via our mutual friend Al, who lives with. with our good friends, Marissa and Dave, frequent guests of the podcast.

They have chickens. Right. And apparently when a chicken, you would know this from your farm experience, apparently when a chicken bird is an egg, it's painful and you hear them yell. Oh. Do you remember this at all? Did you encounter this at all? No.

Wow. They would say, like, I would be like they wail in distress. What? Like it's painful. Like, well, they were noisy all the time. So maybe it was happening. and I'm not sure, but that makes me feel bad for them a little bit.

Yeah, right? Oh. Yeah. Well, interesting. I've been turned by that fact. I just never would have to, but I guess it is the same sort of act. You know, you're squeezing a small thing out of a tight order for a place.

And roosters crow all the time. It's not just like a morning thing. They are always chatty. Maybe we only eat roosters, because they provide no eggs and they just kick old Chinese people. They're a lot They're nature's alarm clock though We like them for that

We like him for being nature's alarm clock I Do we need an alarm clock? No Yeah No we don't Yeah Maybe if you're living by early to a bed early to rise

Makes men healthy, wealthy and wise You might need an alarm clock Fuck up So bird hierarchy I mean What else is in there What do we I guess ostrich I'm trying to think of what else we're missing

You ain't any You're not any of them Seagull But people don't eat that You only eat seagull too Yeah not that I know of Goose Pheasant

Beasant Beasant Yeah I think a pheasant sometimes Sure Anything that where they're just like Shooting it with a gun is wild to me Like I understand that

But sometimes they were just like with quails It's like the most efficient way It's like oh yeah We'd just go out and like Fucking find them and shoot him Yeah they shoot them with those big Like the big open guns Right

They have all the you know I'm talking about. The big open guns? Open guns? Like blunderbuss? They look like trumpets. You know what I mean? They shoot them with those big old timey guns.

That's how they shoot quail. Like a musket? They're still using muskets? Yeah, I don't know. I don't go to bed. I'm not early to bed, early to rise. I don't know this shit, all right? Where about savory versus sweet?

Because that's a bay word. We're talking sweet treats today. I mean, I'm team savory flavor. I'm definitely like would be much like that. I have a sweet tooth, but I'm much more on the savory side. But I'm maybe imagining you're the same. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

Mitch, you're more savory, right? More savory than sweet. I was trying to think of a late to bed, late to rise thing. Late to bed, late to rise makes a man, I don't know, burger and ketchup and fries. Late to bed, late to rise makes a man burger ketchup and fries. That's good. That's good. You know what?

That's good, Mitch. That's perfect. Is there anyone who's going to stand up for Team Sweet? Or basically, maybe it's a false dichotty. What the fuck did you say? You like savory or sweet? Oh, I'm savory over sweet. Come the fuck on.

But isn't that everyone doing one? Yeah, I mean, no. There's people who have, like, even people who are like, I love sweet tooth. Yeah, but you like a fucking big steak. You know what I mean? Yeah. I feel like I think about it like in a plane. Is the snack you bring on a three-hour flight of savory snack or a sweet snack?

And I feel like we all pick savory, right? Yeah. I always want like a little dessert after dinner. I do like a dessert. Sweet treat, but I'm not my little sweet treat. but I'm probably going to pick savory over sweet. I enjoyed her reading today. I thought it was fun.

We'll get into it. We'll get into it. Obviously, we'll get into it. I'm just saying, but I like sweets. I like desserts. I like ice cream a lot. I like, you love ice cream. I do.

But you're still savoury over sweet. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's better. It's better. It's better. It's better.

It's better. It makes you feel better. It does make you feel better. And not enough, and like, there's not enough. I like, I like a hot food. dessert with a, like, with like, I like a hot and cold dessert. You know this. I like a hot and cold dessert. Like a lava cake. Yeah, that is fun. With some ice cream. That's what I like. And more so desserts are cool or room temperature. So I'm, I, I, but also, I just

like savory things. Yeah. It's that simple. But you want us to stick up for sweets? No, I'm just saying, like it's, I feel like this is a commonality. I feel like every time I ask this question, I get the savory answer. I'm like, maybe this isn't a good question. Yeah. Maybe stop asking the. fucking question. You've asked me this moment of clarity right now where I'm just like we, I've always, I'm like, we're talking about dessert places very often. I'm like, do like savory or sweet and people are like savory.

I was like, yeah, I guess there's nothing maybe interest to be cleaned here because most people are just, most food you eat is savory. And I guess unless you have a really strong sweet tooth, you're not going to, you know, you're not going to pick that one. Stop asking the same question, you dumb fucker. No one, we answered it. I don't make a note. To stop, keep the piece of paper?

Bad question. I'm just trying to think if I know anyone who, I can't think of one person who prefers sweet over savory. I can't either. I mean, like, I know people who love, like, crazy about dessert and sweet. Deas, where are you, let's see what the day is. We already asked them. They're both savory.

I'm savory over sweet. Savory is sustenance. Savory is sustenance. We need it to survive. Exactly. Sweet is a treat. Savory sustenance, sweet is a treat. We don't need it.

Yeah. We all love candy. Everyone loves candy. Candy is fun, but like, yeah. I would have a bag of Doritos. Yeah, exactly. But if you include fruit with sweet, I'm a little more towards, like, I love a couple of fruit. I do like a fruit.

I do like fruit as a sweet. And also, if you include, I like sweet drinks. This is a... Like, so does it stuff. Yeah, so it's engaged. So maybe it's not that bad of a question. No, it still sucked. It's still pretty bad.

Not a great question. I think that Hear about drinks, though, I would say, I still don't want, I still don't want a sweet drink as much as I want a drink with, like, maybe some bitterness or some, you know, acidity.

A slice of chocolate cake or delicious dog placenta. I probably go with a chocolate cake thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Also, what is it? It might be sweet, we don't know. You know, crispy.

Good point. It's, like, salty. It tastes like a chip. Well, it tastes like a chip. Then we're having a different conversation. Yeah. Fried up. I feel like it could be really good.

Placenta? If you savor it, re it up, you know. That there is a natural instinct. Like put cool ranch dust on it? Yeah, you put some cool ranch dust, like, fry it up. That's good. It does sound, it sounds better than just regular. That natural selection has pushed placenta havers to want to,

eat their own placentas, to want to self-cannibalize in that way, to me, I can infer that it does taste good because it's like, I want to have this thing. Well, you'd want it, the people who would survive would be if it's offering you some sort of nutrition, if it's offering you some sort of biological benefit, then it would be selected towards the people who found it more delicious. So I think probably tastes good. Like placenta has, it doesn't have like a, what is the stuff that has? It's full of nutrients. It's nutrients.

You can make smoothies out of it. And it has, it has, like, stem cells, right? Yeah, it basically is stem cells. But to get the stem cells, you have to, like, eat the placenta. Like, I think as soon as it comes out, it's, like, over. You have to, like, eat the place. I think you have to, like, suck it down. I think you have to be in the hospital room, and as soon as the placenta is out, you've got to suck it down.

Like, I don't, I don't think. You can't deep fry it. You can't deep fry it. It takes away the stem cells don't work after that. No, you basically have to just make yourself into a donut and eat that thing right away. Hot out of the kitchen. Yeah, I guess I start putting deep fryers and hospitals. Hey, buddy, are you tired of waking up hungover and bloated after your post-work drink?

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When you traveled to Japan? I said, I want to go overseas. I want to explore. I want to see Japan. You got bit by the travel bug. You got a little bit of envy. You got a bit of your podcast partner. on another continent.

Yeah, I guess envy is the right word. And you know what, Wig's the travel bug's the only bug I want to get bit by. Wow. There's no other bug. Is there any other bug you want to get bit by besides the travel bug? So there's like a money bug. Yeah, sure. I guess I'd like to get bit by the money bug.

Yeah, pretty good. Yeah, it would be cool to get bit by the money bug. But right now, the travel bug is the only one I want. Those are the big two, the travel bug and the money bug. And, hey, one might lead to the other. That's right. I saw a point. I was in a point A and I saw a point B. You know, it made me want to travel. It made me want to go across the United States, go to different places. I went to Hawaii with my mom and sister last year. I want to do it again. Get me all over the world. You know what? We're going to travel with the dough boys. There you go. Well, booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the U.S. You can find exactly what you're looking for. There's something for everyone. And Mitch, we have accommodations. You mentioned traveling.

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instead of a Y. We'll cut that. Let's talk sweet treats, though. Like, even as a savory person, as I am, what is your dessert hierarchy? Like, what's your, what's the top dog? Now this, Mark Good question. I used to not care for ice cream, but I've changed.

Wow. Yeah, this year, it's a big ice cream year for me. A big ice cream year. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of ice cream sandwiches, a lot of ice cream bars. I love it. Ooh, bars. It's a right time to do. I had a popsicle today.

It was really nice. So good, yeah. So big ice cream year. Is there anything distinctly, you know, Vancouver or Canadian? like dessert wise or maybe even I even specifically ice cream wise yeah is Rocky Road that's not no I don't think Rocky Road is Canadian could be wrong it's like maple maple maple maple donut maple dough maple doughnut yeah yeah I'm a mappily kind of flavor that's definitely Canadian I'm a big maple guy like I like maple bar is like my probably my dude what one of my

my Mount Donut more it's one of one of my favorite can be real with you yeah I don't think of he was a big maple guy I like a big maple guy I like I like maple. This is bullshit. What are you mean? I love a maple donut. I've never seen you eat maple anything ever. You've seen me eat maple bars. We've gotten donuts. I eat a maple bar. You've maybe had a maple bar, but that doesn't make you a maple guy. Instead of a maple guy and this is a maple bar guy, maybe, but not even. I'm a maple bar guy. You can't say I'm not a maple bar guy. When's the last maple bar? When did you have it? Start a chain about it. Start a group chat chain. Oh, Jesus Christ. Who should be on it?

Maple bar change. Can I opt out? You should opt out as well. But besides us five, you have no one else to put on there, but I don't want to be on it. If I see, if I wake up tomorrow and I see fucking Maple Bar chat, I'm going to be fucking kissby. Don't put me on another fucking chat. I'm not putting you on all these chats.

You're at a meeting. I'm going to wake up to and have 300 new text messages is going to be Maple Bar Chat. And everyone in this fucking room is going to be on. It's going to suck. You know what I'm saying in that Maple Bar chat? What's that? Jelking doesn't work. I'm going to say this.

Yeah. I, this is why you're not a maple guy to me. Okay. I see me breakfast a lot. You're never really ordering anything that you put maple syrup on. That's a fair point. Well, well, well. Because I oftentimes go for a savory breakfast.

Like sweet's first thing in the morning. Do you do maple in your oatmeal? Not too often. I do do maple in your work. But not all the time. Hold on. Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

You eat, because guess what? I do. Because guess what? I'm on a fucking oatmeal chat with him so I know this shit. Oh my God, there's an oatmeal chat? You know what? It's the same as the yogurt chat, but still, I know all of this shit. I've seen his breakfast so many fucking times.

I love him. You do know that you have the power to remove yourself from group chats. It is really dramatic. I'm all the doughboys chat. It is really dramatic, though, when someone leaves a group chat. It is. That's true. So when I'm on one, I never leave no matter how much I'm not in.

to it. I'll never leave. Yeah, I'm still in my gambling chat. I haven't checked in there a three-person chat. So if you want to rope someone in forever, three-person chat. You can never leave. I didn't know that it has to be more than four people. By the way, I like the Gert Chat. Just to be fair, I like Gert Chat. Gert-chat is fun. I want to get Ninja Creamy so I could make a frozen yogurt. Yeah, yeah. Let me see. Let me check the date on this. Oh, interesting. A maple bar on May 8th, 2025. I ate a maple bar in May 8th, 2025.

Oh, cool. Over a year ago, he ate a maple bar? That's a maple guy. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah. What are you doing over there? You were Burger Brigade before you were Spoon Nation, huh? Hold on, hold on.

How do you find the date on these, some bitch? Are you scrolling through? You got to scroll the top of the day. All right, this is. The time only shows you the time. And if it's an active chat, good look. Try to find the top of the day. Yeah, because this, this.

I can only imagine. how much hentai surrounds this maple bar picture. This was the day, this isn't my hentai chat. This was the day that, um, there is a hentai chat, though. Wembenyama was ejected for elbowing Nasreed. So this was a very active day in the NBA group chat. However, I did weigh in on Maples on this day.

I can't remember what context. So this would have been during the playoffs. This would have been 2026. This would have been motherfucking, um, what's going on over there? Yes. This would have been May 10th, 26, perhaps, maybe around then.

Wow, almost a year to the day he had me. So do you do maple every year? It's like the first week of May is Maple Week. Great point, Emma. This is a text and reply to our good friend past doughboys guest, Norm Sousa, who's also in the basket chat. Love Norm. This is for me, Nick Weiger. Actually, I'll do maple syrup on my oatmeal a lot.

I thought it was going to be him sending a picture of maple syrup on his oatmeal. I had that too. I had that too, but I couldn't find it because my text auto delete after a year. Hey, you know what? I'm a ladies, man. I can't just say shit like that. It doesn't make it true. Here's my, here's some.

I actually, I like hanging with the ladies a lot. I texted someone. I like hanging with the ladies. That doesn't make it true, motherfucker. Okay, well, this is pretty close. Here's some cottage cheese with berries, Peter North, with some honey. So you can kind of see that there. I can see Maple.

What does that out true with anything? Lincoln Honey doesn't make it. you're a maple guy. Honey and maple syrup are often used in similar ways, but yeah, they're very different. They're different. Well, I'm just saying that's like the thing. Like, if I'm having oatmeal, I'll put maple syrup in it. I will do that.

One from B, one from tree. Right. That's true. That's good. That's good. One from B, one from tree. One from B, one from tree. If you do something once a year, does it make you that guy?

That guy? No, I don't think so. But that is a thing. ritual. Yeah. If it's something... Once a year. I'll allow myself.

Very monastic. That is monastic. They got to... Let's just be honest here. A monks are staining those robes when they go to bed, right? You think if they're abstaining, if you're abstaining, you're staining. If you're abstaining, you stain. Because at some point, that's...

You have a nocturnal emission. That stuff is just going to make its way out because it's a natural process. So I'll be anything at the monk the monk laundromat. There's a lot of like embarrassed, crusty robe. There's got to be. Guys with protein stains, they're just like trying to secretly launder it. Yeah. Priests aren't supposed to, you're not supposed to jack off.

As a priest, you're not supposed to jack off. Right? You're not? I don't think so. I don't think you. I mean, it's a sin, right? Depends on the religion, I guess. It depends on the sect.

But I think probably, I can't imagine any, any sect of Christianity. explicitly is like, yeah, jacking off is fine. Yeah. Right. They're all like, it's kind of either it's expressly forbidden or it's tacitly understood to be frowned upon. Pope's not jacking off. I'm searching if, okay.

Can Pope thing the Pope jack off? I was not searching if the Pope can jack off. Who's a Chicago guy at the Pope? I'm sure he's jacked off before. But you can't marry if you're, like, like, Catholics can't marry, but there are other sex you can, Protestants can marry. So, you know, Protestant priests can marry. Oh.

Yeah. So the Protestants can jack off. Well, I don't know if that gives them liberty to jack off. I think they maybe only are allowed to have, like, marital sex and probably very conventional intercourse. Right. Like, having a wife is not licensed to jack off, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

You're telling me. I was checking of any of them castrate or whatever or something like that. I bet they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever looked into getting chemically castrated? You know what? I can't say that I have, honestly. Have you, have, you thought, I guess it's then a thing that's gone through your head.

Yeah, I mean, it's not saying like, it's sort of like I'd want to do, but I just like, like, what is that process like? Just out of curiosity. Chemically castrated. I thought it was injections. Is it? Yeah. I think it's injections. I learned recently that women can't get it.

Really? Can't get chemically castrated. But I don't know. Someone just said it to me, but I don't... Chemical gastrated seems to me like the joker threw like a vat of stuff at you is in my mind. That's where my head goes to. But it's just like taking pills, basically. Yeah, I think, I mean, I think it's an...

I think it is an ejection. I think it is a thing that, like, has a duration you have to re-up it. So there's no Joker at all involved. I don't think there's a Joker involved. Okay, all right, fair enough. Unless he stabs you with... Unless it's like the pencil thing on the table, but with an inject with a needle.

He could do it. He could do that. Yeah. All right, so he could do it, I guess. The Joker can be involved if you really, really want that to have. The Joker can be involved. The Joker can be involved. So, so, like, ice cream you like...

I was like, why did you bring that out? We were just talking about this stuff. I know, I've never thought about getting Chembley Castro. We were talking about monks and, you know, Catholic priests. Yeah, but you haven't thought about it either. Once a year.

Yeah, I'm just curious. I think about it once a day. The same day he eats a maple bar. He thinks about it. Might be nice. I'm a maple guy. All right, buddy. What the fuck out of this donut show?

You're asking the guy behind the counter. You asked me this last year. It's your fucking maple bar. I think donuts, though, I'm less of a donut for breakfast guy, but I do really like donuts. And I think donuts are sneaky high up there in terms of my dessert hierarchy. Ice cream's number one. But then I think, boy, is it pie after? that? I don't know. Like, where do you land? It's funny that you put donuts in your dessert.

And we've talked about this before. They are like breakfast's dessert. Yeah, they're a dessert. It does make. Okay, fair. I think it's okay to call it a dessert. It's so weird because I still don't consider it a dessert for whatever reason. I put it under the category of breakfast, but it's the dessert of breakfast. But I get where you're, I get, I get, I'm not, I'm not trying to be badamp. You go to, you go to a nice restaurant and they have, like, donuts for dessert on the menu. You're not like batting an eye. that. You're taking that in stride. You're like, oh, maybe those donuts might be good. Yeah.

Yeah. The donuts are on the table for the... The dessert menu. Like, if it's like, hey, here's some... Do you have room for dessert? We have donuts. Where are my freaking Springfield? That's what I'm asking. But no, I'm... Like a hot donut and some ice cream? That's fun. There's a hot and cold thing again. That, is my number... That's my number one. Hot and cold. Some sort of hot and cold. A hot pie and a cold ice cream. Now, is that a category?

Now, I am being pedantic. I think it should be. You think hot and cold is a category. A hot, cold dessert, I think should be a category. Yeah. Sounds like a double. The daze does not fucking care. No, it sounds like a double.

Or what's going on over there? I think it sounds like a double. It's late. I was thinking about something else. What were you thinking about? Nothing. Chemical castrate? Yeah, yeah.

I was thinking about that. What were you thinking about over there? Nothing. I was just thinking about life. What the fuck? She's not in the room. It's okay. Thinking about seeing.

and Dave Franco and Christopher Mitzpast. Flash back. What was the question? I was saying hot cold is a good dessert category. Yes, yes, yes. And I think it should be considered a good dessert category.

Oh, boy, I did not believe that for one second. So totally humoring him. Yes. Hold on. Oh, yes. Hot cold should be a dessert category. Yes. A hot piece of pie, a scoop of ice cream.

But that feels like kind of a catch-all. I think that also works for savory food, too, though. a hot bowl of chili with some cold sour cream on top or like a hot taco with some like it's again cold sour cream but I think there's like what is that now now you've changed your tone a little no no no I'm just no hold on I'm saying like what's your favorite kind what's your favorite food and if someone would say hot and cold I think it's just too broad I think it's too broad you said what's your favorite category you didn't say what was my favorite food no but dessert category I just I think it's too it's too much of a

umbrella to be a category because you got pies in there. You got your fucking ass with hot chili and cold sour cream. I looked at your face and you. You had a little smile. You love it. I love hot chili and chili and cold sour cream. That's fun. That's a lot of fun. And is that just one meal? Is that one dish to you? Yes. No, but I'm, no, but hold on, hold on. What I'm saying is that as a category, if you were like, hey, what's your

favorite type of food? It's like, oh, I like Italian food. Oh, I like, you know what I mean? It's like, it feels like it's, it's, it covers too many things. I'm not going to say that for dessert. I like Italian food for dessert. No, I'm not even talking about dessert. That fucking green and white ice cream, whatever the fuck. Niappolyton? Yeah, Neapolitan. Italian desserts do suck.

They are all fucking bad. How do they get, they're very good with food. Oh, when you said the green dessert, I thought you were talking about the ice cream me on today. Oh, well. Thinking of Italian dessert. Also, by the way, that is an Italian dessert. That is 100%.

And it fucking sucked once again. Is there anything like a canoli? Is there anything you'll stick up for? Oh, rainbow cookies. I don't like those either. I think those suck. I will say canola. Are the Italian dessert that are good.

Canolis are good. I love cannolis are good. I'm not trying to yuck you're young, but what do you like about rainbow cookies? What? You don't like meatballs and you don't like canoles, but you're so fucking pro-Italian. Rubbing it in our faces all the time. You guys bring it up. I never bring it up.

Don't you wear a shirt that says, like, proud to be Italian to the studio? Yeah. It says Trump 2028 on the front and proud to be Italian. on the back. What about Trump's, Italians love Trump and they hate and they hate making dessert apparently. I don't understand why they are

because I love it. Italian food is way up there for me. I love it. You know this. The leaf cookies? Have you ever had the leaf cookies? You're not, you're not going to win. You're not going to end up.

You're not going to be able. You know what? Hot and cold is not a category. Tiermasu. Tiermasu is not bad. I like tiramisu. Tiermisu is okay. Hot and cold is a good.

Jolato? Yeah. All right. Jilato is good. You got us. You got us. You got us. Panicata.

Panicata is Italian. Panicata is okay. Aphagado is okay. Afugato. A avocado's okay. Okay. I love an a fagado. Alvagado is fun.

Avogato is fun. What is your, like, what's your top dessert, though? There's not, when you break it down, when you break down dessert, like, like, I'm just thinking of it. Culture. Like, like, I'm like, there's, like, I can't think of, like, oh, no, I guess there is. like a bread pudding, is bread pudding English? Is that what it is? I guess so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was trying to think of like a dessert seems very American in my mind, but I'm wrong.

Yeah. No, it's not exclusively America. It's domain. Okay. Yeah, like a mango, like a mango cake. Mango sticky rice is really good. And that's a, mango is a, mango is a hard one to define, and that's a great dessert. Mango cake is going to make any sort of like mango, mango is the most popular fruit in the world. That's a fun trivia question. Wow. Wow. A lot of mango eating countries.

Are you a mango sticky rice guy? Let me check my text threads. Yeah, no. Sometimes I only want that from like a Thai place. Yeah, I like a mango sticky rice. I think it's fun. It's kind of a novelty, but it's fun. Yeah.

There is a little hot and cold element to that. There certainly is. Interesting. Pretty interesting. that's all. So mango's like kind of your, like any, like sticking with the mango umbrella, the mango sort of genre, that's kind of like your top dog. I like when people put fruit into the dessert.

Yeah, I like fruit desserts. Fruit desserts are fine. Fruit desserts or chocolate desserts, those two categories. Yeah. I like a cheesecake with some fruit in it. That's a lot of fun. Every rice is a sticky rice after you get your hands on it. All right.

Don't be mad. So I'm getting chemically castrated. I can imagine just shooting a load into a fucking bowl of rice. It's disgusting. That image of my head. Oh, that's not how I picture it. Yeah, I thought. What the fuck did you think I meant?

I pictured you like sounding with a grain of rice. Sounding? Sounding. Oh, my God. What is sounding? It's putting stuff into your dickhole. Jesus. With a single grain of breath.

We taught you that term. He's like holding like in the tweezers. We talked about sounding. No, this was on the one of the on Hinch recent episodes with I believe Matt Selman, we talked about sounding. And he said he knew a guy who was into it or something like that. You're talking about field and all kinds of stuff. I thought you meant like his fingers are sticky. Right.

That's very sweet. I know. And then you're saying sound. No, it was related to masturbation. Horrifying. What were you thinking about about life? I'll tell you that after the pot. Oh, no, all right.

What about ice cream wise? What about like soft serve versus hard pack ice cream, which is the industry term? Hard pack. I don't like that term. Hard pack ice cream. Get rid of that term. I like hard pack ice cream. Yeah.

Hard pack. I mean, I like hard. I don't like the term, but I like hard pack ice cream. I like hard pack ice cream. More than soft serve. Yeah, more than soft serve. You can get a good soft serve. Sometimes you can get a pretty nice sauce.

Sometimes you get a good saucer. I like Dairy Queen. Dairy Queen is great. It's fun. They dip the, when you dip the cone, you get the shell on there. You're having a lot of fun, Wikes. You fuck with Handles? Wait, I think so.

Handles is really, like, handles is my number one with a bullet these days for ice cream parlors. Oh, okay, I got to go. Yeah, there's a few. I mean, they've expanded, they've been around for a long time, but they've made a big expansion to L.A. recently. I probably not it. And, yeah, it's really fucking good. It's just great. It's made in house.

Is it hard pack? It is hard pack ice cream. Okay. It is hard pack ice cream. In fact, I don't think they even offers a soft serve, but they do have a simulacrum of the Dairy Queen Blizzard. The handles hurricane and it's strictly better. It's just a better version of it. Okay.

I got a fucking last time I got a hurricane from there was after one of our film screenings of the Los Felis 3, which should be wrapped up by the time this episode is out. What does number one with a bullet mean? Can we look at the etymology of number one with a bullet? I thought for you just means you eat handles with a loaded gun on your table. What do we put in my mouth first? The handles, of course. I want to finish my cookie dough a hurricane, which is what I had last time. That's what you had.

It was so fucking good. That's so much cookie dough. It was so rich. Handles is great. Handles is great. It is a, they, they get, the size is too big there. The size is too big there. The sizes are too big.

Be forewarned, if you haven't been to handles, it sounds like you maybe have, but, but, but, whether or not you, when you go back, just, just, just keep in mind the hand, the sizes are too big there. Okay. The crazy thing about handles is that one of the smallest things you can get is a four scoop sampler. A four scoop sampler. What? It's basically, it's four, like, normal size scoops of ice cream. Yeah. It's fucking so much ice cream.

And like a small ice cream is. close to the same side. Because they really fucking packed that thing on. I mean, like, great for, you can split a small with a,

with a, with a friend and you'd be very happy. Right. It's a lot of ice cream. It's a lot. What'd you love? I love. Number one with a bullet

originates from the, like, specifically the music industry, the billboard charts, meaning it's at number one and it has like a bullet like trajectory is still going up. So it's like, it's your number one and it's still like gaining favoritism.

It's like kind of a new, I mean, like whatever. That's cool. 70 year old term at least, right? Or maybe even younger than, I like learning that. So are we picturing, I love etymology. Are we picturing a gun being shot up, like straight up like a starter pistol?

And it's just like never, it's not stopping to go up, I guess. It's like it's just carrying your number one higher and higher. Or are we talking about the natural trajectory of a bullet, which is not a straight line, but is in fact a parabola. All right. It is. I think they mean it's like going up, like it's gaining favor. So I'm picturing shooting it in this. You shoot it up.

I think you shoot it up. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's cool. I didn't know that. Do you think our listeners knew? I'll about you a couple of them.

I mean, a couple of our dork-ass listeners. They're going to talk about it. No, we have some linguistics experts in the DOSCorp, Stinky notably. Yes, Stinky. We have a listener name of Stinky who is a linguistics expert. It's true. It's true.

Smart man. Wags, I... Wait, you're multilingual, yes? Yeah. What other languages do you speak? Just Mandarin. Just Mandarin. That's great.

What is the... It's cool. Like, obviously, it's a different perspective. because Mandarin was your first language, correct? But like, what is the, do you have any sense of, like, the difficulty level of learning Mandarin? Yeah, it's very hard. It's very hard. It's very hard.

Is it a tonal language? It's tonal. Okay. And writing is almost, every word is a picture. Right. They're all characters. Yeah. Yeah.

So, it's very hard. Right. Yeah. That's like, because, like, I, I know this, like, a little bit of Japanese, and it's like, there's at least a a couple of writing systems are based on phonemes that are like,

like, you know, it's, there's that. And then the characters, the kanji characters, a much smaller set as opposed to whatever, like the 30,000 you got to learn to, in Chinese,

it's like, or in Mandarin, it's like 2000. Exactly. Yeah. Like, Japanese and Korean language all kind of came out

because Mandarin was too difficult. And so it was, it was a faster way to get to having a language. Wow. Can you read Mandarin? I can, but not every word. Like, you know, a lot of times I, yeah, I don't know all of them. Even my grandpa, he's like so old.

Every house has a dictionary. Because no one knows every word. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's just impossible. But it's, it's almost like a gatekeepingly hard language to. learn. I think, yeah, it was like designed that way. Yeah.

He taught me the etymology of, etymology of emoji. Yeah. That was very fun to learn. I didn't know it. What is it? It's like a, I mean, it's basically is emotion. It's a portmanteau of, I forget what the exact words are. But it's, so I don't know off the top of my head, but I, I, I, I, I, I, it was like a motion and image, right?

Yeah, emotion and image. Yeah. Yeah. Emotion image. Yeah. That makes sense. Anyway, the, the, thank you for how they assist there. The, because I, it turns out I didn't know.

But I had read it recently. I was trying to give me props. Now I wonder what the fuck happened here. No, I didn't know, but it makes in my brain. And then it's a fucking lie. Look, I get new interest now. I'm into Aston Villa. I'm a villain.

That's a league. Yeah, it's a, it's a, I gotta go be at work at 7.30 tomorrow. Do you really? Yeah, doesn't that suck? It's an early day. Yikes. Do you, are you like, because we,

they're gonna get, Lusers are gonna get mad for just hearing that. Like, I wake up at five, shut up, I don't know, what do you want me to do? You're probably not gonna get home until like 1230 or something. Yeah. Our buddy, our former- Content minds, baby.

Our former producer, Yousong speaks Mandarin. That's right. He took us to a, or he, I went with me, I got lunch reasons, We'll repeat about it. I gotta get dinner with Yusong. Yeah, we gotta figure that up.

But he took me to a Chinese restaurant in Alhambra, and he ordered in Mandarin. And, like, are you someone who does that if you're in a Chinese restaurant? Yeah, I'll do that because it feels, I mean, I don't know. It feels better to do that. Yeah, like, more efficient. Got it. Yeah.

As a fat white guy, how often will I be made fun of, do you think? like without me knowing. Oh. My guess is probably... Just by foreign language speakers? Yeah, I'm just like, hi! And then they're like probably making fun. My guess, I mean, I think that's great.

I think it's fun. Yeah. I think it's fun. I'm not sure because they are very, like, just knowing what they're saying all the time. Yeah. They're very, um, mostly focused on work.

Yeah. But maybe if you do something funny, they'll make fun. They'll definitely make fun of you. you do something that is worthy of being made fun of. But you just existing. All right. So 100% is it going to happen.

That might not trigger anything. Just, yeah, on site. Oh, yeah. No, I assumed that I was doing something to trigger. Definitely. Okay, all right. Then 100% of the time. Yeah.

I like it. That's fun. They'll make fun of me. And they know I'll speak. They'll be like, oh, you're ordering this? And I'm like, yeah. Yeah, but they know. But it's not.

exclusive to if they know you're speaking the language. Sure, sure, yeah, yeah. But they just can't help it. I think they, yeah, there's like very straightforward people. Yeah. Yeah. There's a bluntness to the cultural. Yeah.

Interesting. Exactly. Something you share with like the Dutch. Oh. The Dutch are very blunt famously. Are they? My dad always said we were 1% Dutch, which I think is like impossible. But then I don't know.

My ancestry.com, which said 100% Irish, it then updated and it was kind of. Okay, it updates sometimes. It updates, yeah. So it's not that. Are you 100 or some? No, I'm not 100. Yeah. I'm all carved up.

We'll take a look at where I am right now. We're going to, we're going to, I'm going to check in and see where I'm where I am. That is, if my dad is who I think he is. Right. There are apparently some revelations sometimes happen in families. But maybe if you test your like saliva or something. I can test my saliva. I've never done that.

I did that. Whoa. It's so different than it was. So it's updates in real time. Yeah. You haven't sent in like a new sample. It just says... It's a graph that's changing right now as I'm talking to.

No, so because they update based on the global sample. So everything that they get, they update. They only have as much information as people send in. Right. Yeah. Okay. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm not saying okay to you.

I'm saying okay to this. Yeah. It updated. It's like you have like a, and it's like 50% monster. like I've said this before, I'm from Monster Ireland, which it sounds like Monster Island. Just telling Monster Island. And it's really fun.

And it said 58% and I was like, oh, I'm only like, if I'm only now 58% Irish? And then the following one is 14% Connacht Ireland. And then Leinster Island, I can't even say these. Donna Gold. I was just getting more regionally. And then, yeah, Central Scott. So this goes all the way to 99% Irish.

Wow. And then it's, and this is, these are both new. Brittany France. Brittany France. Brittany, France, and then 1% southeastern England and northwestern Europe, which is, these are, those two are new. Wow. Okay. But, yeah, Belgium.

That's what it's, it's right here. Oh, I love a waffle. You know what I do love a waffle. Oh, yeah, you're a maple guy. I'm a maple guy. Waffles over pancakes, easy for me. Yes, definitely. Yeah, I agree with that.

The texture is better. I haven't had a waffle in a long time. I like a waffle. You say you're a waffle guy. But I, but I, here's the thing. I'm always going, I'm going savory over sweet breakfast always. But I like to order a table waffle? Yeah.

Split it. Waffle for the table is a lot of fun. No, is it chicken and waffle, sweet or savory? Oh, a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. I like chicken and waffle a lot. I love chicken and a waffle. I love chicken and a waffle. I love chicken and a while.

Wags, but I do, I do, all that being said, I do, Like an occasional sweet treat. That's right. Today we're talking mag pies, founded in 2016 and silver-like by Rosen-War and Schwartz. Three locations in L.A. Yeah. That's the original. Wow.

Never reviewed. And this is, I will be one where, like, our fans who complain, but they go to places that are on the L.A. Like, yeah, you're going to be complaining about this one because this is, this is an annoyingly hyper-local episode. We're starting at 8 p.m. This place has a loyal local fandom, but I think is largely unknown elsewhere. Had you had it previously? I did because a friend ordered it because he couldn't get dairy. So I thought this was like a vegan place.

So here's the thing. It is, and we can look up. And I'm going to say this, I thought the same thing. When we both said this in the kitchen, I was like, I always thought magpies was only vegan. They have vegan flavors, but it's not explicitly a vegan place. But a lot of their dairy desserts, I just say dairy desserts, a lot of their frozen desserts are based on non-dairy milks. So we may need an accounting of this as we go through, but I believe, like, for instance,

their brown sugar vanilla, which I got is made with oat milk. And some of their other flavors are made with dairy milk, but it just kind of varies. Oat milk, almond milk, it feels like a more prevalent, though, than cow milk. Yeah. So, I mean, like, again, if you are trying to avoid animal products, it probably is one of your better options. I'll say this. I don't love an oat milk or...

like a, I don't like a non-dairy ice cream. Me too. I hate to say it. I just don't. Me too. Wow. Is that bad? I feel bad. But I'm like an oat milk ice cream, I'm like, I just just does, it's not the same. It's not the same thing. Yeah. I don't like it as much.

Sometimes just get a little bit too much oat. Yeah. I have had some, like the salt and straw, um, non-dairy mint chip, I think to me just tastes exactly like mint chip. That's a wonderful mint chip. And I'm a midship. So like there are, there are pockets where it's like this non-dairy version, this vegan version is just absolutely getting the job done. What is sometimes not dairy? Is it Sherbert?

Sometimes not Terry. What is, what do it? Sorbetes. Sorbetes are non-dairy. I think sorbets are non-dairy and sherbetts usually have some. Sorbet I can do. Sorbet, like a fruit, like a fruit popsicle or a fruity sorbet, I can do that. And I'm, like, I'm happy with that dessert.

But I, like, an, like, something that's trying to be like ice cream with an oat milk or something or an almond milk. It doesn't, it just doesn't, it doesn't do it for me. Because I hate it. I hate that it doesn't do it for me. because there's a lot of it now, I feel like. I think the way to do this, and we'll start with the soft serves,

and then we'll move on to the pies, which they also have, the soft serve and pie purveer. The dog's out. What's Jimmy doing? I don't know, she's staring at me. Thinking about life. Yeah, she's about life.

I wish I could eat my own placenta. You'd give it to the dough boys to try. You can talk if you want to say it. Deep fry it. Aw. was very sweet. She's sweet to me every time I see her. She so cute. She's so cute. Wait, we do, tell us about, because tell us more about your dog, we already touched on.

But like, like, I know. I've heard that it's tiny. That's what I kind of. Yeah. She's so small. She travels with you. Yeah, she does. Remind us her name? Pingua. Pingua. Yeah. Wow. It means apple. It means apple. That's cute as hell. Yeah. Because her head's like tiny, like an apple's head. Or, I mean, I like an apple. Yeah. I was just thinking about, I was. I guess that is like that. apple's head in no sense.

You want to think of it that way. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. But we brought her, I brought her to the, there was a Wisconsin State Fair when we did Milwaukee this weekend. Wow. Yeah. They had fried everything, fried butter, fried corn dogs, fried ice cream.

I think that fair is famous for its fried food. Yeah. And guess what? I think that's Milwaukee too. I don't know. Yeah. Did you indulge in any of this fried fair? No, I wish I did, but we got there really late and then did the show and left, but I wanted to try some of that.

I love fried. Yeah, I love fried. I love deep fried, whatever. Right. To be up to Milwaukee. Those big, beautiful people up there, I fit imperfectly. I love it up there. It's just, they love food and cheese, and it just seems like heaven up there.

Yeah. They call you slim up there. They might call me slim up there. I'd be in a new I'd be like, hey, it's not bad, I like this. It'd be wonderful. No, we've had lovely times when we've been in Wisconsin. I agree. We should go back.

Yeah, it's nice. We'll see. Cheese. Cheese. But I was curious to fried butter, I'm like, I don't even know what to imagine eating. I love butter. I think that would probably be a little bit too much for me. Yeah.

But I think it's like the magic trick of, you think I would like it. Have you had it? I'd say you're more a fried butter. butter guy than a maple guy. I'm more of a butter guy than a maple. Does it stay solid? Yeah, I think that's the magic trick they do. They figure out a way to keep it stayed.

It's not like it's like melted inside. I don't know if I've ever had, I must have happened, but the only time I remember, I was at the Simpsons premiere and I was behind Lloyd from Entourage, who was getting a deep fried snickers. And then I also got a deep, I think I got a deep fried snickers. But I don't, I haven't done like a deep fried candy,

or like a novelty deep fried thing in forever. Have you? No, I mean, It's been a bit of time. I will say I read a thing that a lot of those are just from Cisco. It's not even like this local, you know, version of it. It's just like, hey, there's a bunch of stuff of a Cisco truck. We're just going to deep fry it to order, you know, which kind of takes the magic out of it a little bit.

But whatever. Yeah. Yeah. But she's good to travel with. It's good. Yeah. She's a broader friend. Yeah.

Can you, do you? Would Penguana have gotten along with you? Oh, right. Good question. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Jimmy loves doggy. How about with cats? Would Walla or would she like her? Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Right. Too different.

Yeah. And big, big, huge dogs, no. Yeah. Yeah. Have you fed your dog whose name means apple and apple? Yes, she loves apple. She loves apple. Wow.

This is huge. Wow. Crunch on them. Yeah, it's huge. She crunches on them, mouth all open like this. Do you get, like, a whole apple? No.

Little tiny chunks. Her mouth is so small. Yeah. It's cute. You know what a doughboy's chair, besides the tiny head. She'd fit right in. Yeah. Chewing apples with their mouth open.

I think the way to break down mag pies, let's talk ice cream first, then we'll move on to pies. All right, yes. Yes, let's do it. You said it. I know, I know I said it. I'm just repeating myself. I just reset it. I know that's the way you want to attack it.

Let's do it. Emma will figure out how to make it the edit. So like if it seems redundant, because I said it twice, that one will be taken out. They'll take this out, too. I'm going to all in. So I had the brown sugar vanilla. I'm a big, Mitch, I am a vanilla guy. Vanilla's a flavor.

I'm always getting vanilla. You are a vanilla guy. I agree with that. This description is tastes like the chocolate chip cookie dough minus the chocolate chips. Andrea, you got the roasted strawberry. Yeah. Interesting. That's what they're trying to go for.

You get the roasted strawberry, which is they slow roast strawberries down to concentrated puree, then folded into their soft served base. And then the midnight chocolate, which is like a dark chocolate, like a deep, rich chocolate. And then Mitch, you got the ultimate chocolate. No, fuck. God damn it. My notes are all fucked up. Oh.

I've got to make a note that I mean. Maybe you should attach the pies before we attacked the ice cream. No, no, no, because I just, you only got one ice cream flavor. You got the malted milk chocolate or house chocolate. It tastes like a malted milkshake. Thank you, Amelia. And then to share, we had a dare. We got one of their wacky flavors, which all these parlors.

You were the one who put us in this day. All these parlors feel obligated to do this. And anytime we... Are you crying? No. Just like I feel like ice cream is good on its own. I don't know why people have to like fuck or whatever. Whatever. All these parlorers feel obligated to have some like weird flavor. Like here's our mustard ice cream, you know? And then so like a fat fuck like me goes like I'll try the mustard ice cream. I'll try the dog placenta ice cream. This one was heirloom, tomato, and sweet basil swirl. I guess we could start at the bottom because this one. This one was heirloom, tomato, and sweet basil swirl. I guess we could start at the bottom because this one. was absolute fucking disgusting.

I was mad at you after I ate it and then I also was mad at her Italian ass for like contemplating it for five seconds. The basil was not bad. The tomato wasn't bad until the aftertaste. Then it was horrendous and I needed it. Andrew knocked out. Was it Andrew or who said, was it, are you or Andrea who said it tastes like cold tomato sauce?

Oh, I think that was me. It tastes like cold. It was like spaghetti sauce but cold. Yes. Yeah. Disgusting. But with the texture of ice cream. Yeah.

So it wasn't even like like, oh, this is this. this is in sauce form, and at least I can kind of put this, make this a kandu, it's got to Paso or something. Guess what? You vegans are nasty, man. You vegans are disgusting.

I mean, is that a vegan flavor? Yes, it is, right. Oh. This one's disgusting. Begans. Yeah, it was not good. Begans, come on.

But this is the kind of thing where you have this and you just like, I bet this tastes like shit. And then you have it just like, yeah, it tastes like complete shit. Like you kind of, you're kind of hoping to be surprised at some level,

which I guess is why these things sell. Yeah. But it's just like it's, I don't know. I would like it if a place just didn't do this. And you know who doesn't do this? Handles. They're not fucking around with their weird, like, fucking, hey, here's our meatloaf flavored

ice cream. You know, they're not doing anything wacky. They're just doing right down the middle, classic flavors that everyone can enjoy. I agree with you. I mean, some of them, I mean, like, I like Jenny's, and Jenny's try some of the shit sometimes. What are they doing? Why are they doing this?

I don't know. I mean, that was, the tomato basil one was. so bad. Like, I've had the everything bagel from Jennings, and I'm like, that's not as bad. That one's at least has a reason to exist. It's like that one's close enough to like, I can see that being turned into a

dessert form and it kind of tastes deserty. And the textures are fun. I can't believe anyone on earth likes that ice cream. I don't think anyone likes it. I mean, people must. That's fucking gross. Anyway, that one was really bad. But my, brown sugar vanilla, I loved. And in fact, I finished. And also, we were talking about

the gigantic flavor. at Handel portions. Here, these are much more Uncar Plut adjacent by comparison. I agree. Because we've got like the, what is it, mini, junior, and then regular, the three sizes. The sizes are all very modest and approachable, which I like. Yeah. I don't need too much.

Andrews seems like she didn't have fun. Did you not have fun? I didn't know if I liked it. Well, actually, I like the roasted strawberry a lot. I thought your strawberry was really good. I thought your strawberry was a highlight. That was good. Yeah, that was really good.

But I just feel like they didn't do either that well. Like, neither ice cream or pie well. I'll say this. I, well, keep in mind, we're talking an ice cream first. Then we'll go to buy. I'm not going to get into the fucking past. I'm saying. What if I did?

We'll just, well, add ML, edit it around. You're going to make her edit around it? We'll figure it out. Edit it out. I, you don't know this, but. you or when you ordered, I saw your order. I got mad because I wanted what you want, what you got, which was the dark chocolate ice cream.

And then I got the, the malted chocolate or whatever instead. And I'm going to say this. You can't get it if I get it. I know, I could have, I could have got, I shouldn't get mad at you. But I tried it. And my thought when I tried your dark chocolate ice cream was like,

it's not that great. I like the malted one better. I agree with you. I think we're all on the same page here. Yeah. Dark chocolate one was, I don't know. And also, that to me is, like, should be an easier flavor.

I feel like that is usually pretty good ice cream. Just make it what it is already. Yeah, yeah. You already have it. Yeah. We already have it. We already have it. Yeah.

Yeah, there's something. There was something weird about it. Yeah. Yeah. Is that one vegan? It was... I feel like it was vegan. Midnight was vegan.

Ah, I knew it. That's why. That's why. Oh, milk base. I like... Oh, okay. I would say, I like malt. When I encounter malt, I feel like malt.

I feel like malt is a flavor that's gone away. And that malted milk chocolate definitely had a malted quality. Malted Mishol was great. It was good. It was yummy. This all makes sense now. I can't believe that's what it was. Yeah, it was like a that makes me mad.

That's why it was bad. Yeah, it was bad. What did you all think of the brown sugar vanilla? Did you have a taste of it? I thought it was fine. It was okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it was very much for me because it's like, you know, that's the, that's the, that was the vanilla vanilla variety. But Emma, you got a more classic vanilla. Just a sweet cream. What did you think of that bad boy? I loved it. super simple with some rainbow sprinkles on top. I loved it. Is that big a big in or no?

That one I think is dairy, actually. It's probably dairy. Yeah. I used to get the sweet cream milkshake at J.P. Licks all the time in college, and it was like one of my favorite things. So when Amelia asked which vanilla I wanted, I was like, oh, I haven't had like a classic sweet cream in so long. It was good. What does the J.P. stand for in J.P. Licks.

Did you make a plane? Yeah, I believe so. That's fun. Is that what it is? I'm pretty sure it is. Have you had you? Oh, you did have J.P. I think we did.

I think we did. I think you did. I liked it. That could be, that we've never reviewed it. We did J.P. Licks show. Go Sanford, Jamaica Plain.

Have you had a J.P. Alex while you're traveling? I don't think so. You spent much time in Boston? A little bit, but not enough to have the ice cream, I guess. That's a Boston brand? It's a, yeah, it's a Boston.

Yeah, it's a Boston company. It's good. How do you like the Boston crowds? Very much. Okay. They're good. They're good. Nice, strong.

I like the Boston crowds too. We're going to see him on Thanksgiving Eve. Yeah, I know we have great Thanksgiving. My mom was asking today if you're going to come over to Thanksgiving. I told her yes. I didn't, I'm happy to go. I just didn't know. That wasn't a loaded question.

I wasn't trying to get her to say something negative about Boston. Meals, what did you get? I know our team isn't owned by one of the Kushners. Yet. I was, I just picked out everyone else's. I knew that we'd have a lot of ice cream. So I just, you know. You don't get one of your own?

I almost did that. And then I got the sweet cream and I'm glad because it was a good palate clifter between some of the crazy flavors. I will say I followed your lead, Mitch, and starting with the awful one, and I'm glad I did because I had to get that flavor out of my mouth. I also took lactate for the first time in my life before this. And then I realized it was largely moot because most these flavors were not dairy-based. I mean, yeah, you maybe didn't have to take it at all. But I don't have any rumblies, which is nice. Good.

Uh, let's talk pies. I should probably eat lactate from here on. I should take lactate. You should try it. Mitch, you got the ultimate chocolate soft serve pie, the cookies and cream. Is that what I got? Yeah, that's what I have in my notes. You got multiple pies.

You got multiple pies. Ultimate chocolate soft serve pie, which is midnight chocolate soft serve with a fudge and devil's food cake. Can I be completely honest with you? With cream and chocolate gram crust. Sorry. I know we're now talking about the pies. Yeah, we're in the pie portion. We're in the pie portion.

Can we go back to ice cream? No. Okay, all right. All right. All right. Well, when I saw the menu, I didn't realize that these were slices of ice cream pie. I thought they were like ice cream that they made into kind of like a Sunday. And they were like, they're ice cream pies. And I was like, oh, I didn't understand that it was like an actual slice of pie.

I'm the only one. No, they're like frozen ice cream pie. I didn't. I did not know this. And I didn't know this about mag pies at all. You also got the cookies and cream one. I did. And then I got the bananas foster. I wouldn't have ordered two slices of pie if I had. known. I got the banana foster.

Or did you get the banana foster? Hey, I got that. That was you. I got the butterby can and the strawberry soft serve. Butterby can, I thought, was delightful. Strawberry soft serve, I thought was fine. You didn't really get it. Should we get into it?

Why are you sad? It's just like it was so much simpler to say, I got it. You want to claim credit for getting it? No, I ordered. You texted me. You said, I ordered the same pie as you. And then I said, oh, how about the strawberry one? Yeah.

So I got the strawberry pie. I'm just being honest with you got the cookies in cream on, which was better. Fine, fine, you got it. How about if we just say we got the strawberry pie? I'm not cranky. I'm not getting cranky because of the late episode. You're fucking cranky as hell. I thought the buttery can was tasty.

I like the strawberry soft serve, but I also kind of thought there was an element of Ungapachka where I just like, you start getting the rhubarb jam in there, the brown sugar coffee cake. I was kind of like, I just liked your strawberry soft served more. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know.

I agree. But the butter be can I thought was nice. And the bananas foster, I thought was nice. You weren't getting much banana. I wasn't getting much banana, but I had another bite. You're too cranky. No, I'm fine. I'm having fun.

You're going to get your rattle or something. You're going to fucking calm down. I, I, like, the banana fosters. Maybe I liked was maybe up there. You know, it wasn't good again? And maybe it is, maybe it's vegan. Was the dark chocolate pie. I thought it was not great.

Yeah. That was my least favorite. but I like the cookies and cream. Couges and cream was delightful. Couges and cream was, I thought, was great. Yeah. Yeah. The chocolate soft serve pie?

Yeah. Yeah. There are good vegan desserts. Like, I've had vegan desserts I like. Sneaky vegans, man. I had no idea that they snuck in, I didn't know that they snuck in these pies. I'm pissed off. Yeah.

Well, because they don't aggressively label it as such. I think because they're trying to be kind of like, like you can, if you're a vegan, you're going to be. investigating. They kind of, you kind of know that about your diet, right? So they're kind of like not necessarily, maybe if they advertise it, maybe if they forefront that it's vegan, then people who aren't vegan will just avoid it. And it might be one that they enjoy. But it was not the case with us. Yeah, the chocolate pie bad, bananas foster pie, good, I thought, and I'm not sure what that was. Cookies and cream pie, very frozen, but good. I liked it. Lots of textures. I think

this is the thing. If I'm going to go to the trouble of getting a pie over a a soft serve swirl. I want some texture to it. I want that some bitch to have some sort of like chonks and crunch. And I feel like I was getting that with the butterpacan and with the cookies and cream naturally a bit

more. And also butterpacan, one of my favorite pies. Top pie. Wait, what are you saying chocks and crunch? What? Chonks and crunch. Oh, chunks and croft. Yeah. What? He said chunks and cronks and crunch. Chunks and crunch. Yeah. Chonks and crunch. Yeah.

Grankowski. Are you a pie fan? I do. I love pie. Do you have a favorite pie? Key lime. Key lime. Wow.

I like key lime a lot. Another fruit pie. Another fruit dessert. I make a really good, maybe, and you know what? Maybe I should, if you come to our Thanksgiving, maybe I should make my apple strawberry pie. Wow. Pretty damn good pie. That sounds good.

Can I make something? Nope. Are you getting one burner for a little bit? What are you going to do it? In my mom's kitchen? I don't know. Who does the cooking for your Thanksgiving? We go to the Kylie's house. Oh, you go to the Kylie's.

Yeah, you're coming. You're coming. I'm coming to the Kylie's. That's fun. Yeah. I can maybe make a dish. I can whip up a dish. He's bringing rice. If you have a bathroom, I need to stick you this. Did the deus taste the pies?

Yes. What did you think of the pies? They're pretty good. I love it. an ice cream cake, so ice cream pie really worked well for me. The ones that I thought were good, the ones I thought were good, I thought were really good. The ones I thought we're good, I thought we're really good. They were.

Same, same, same. Same, same. I love the banana, I love a banana cream pie, so that banana one really hit hard for me. The cookies and cream one was good. Yeah, those were good. Those were hit. The strawberry one looked so pretty and delicious and it didn't taste as good as it looked to me.

It was just okay. But I also think it was maybe, I think those things are better if you leave them like out of the freezer for like 10, 15 minutes. Was it a sneaky little vegan pie? Well, here's the thing. Okay, for what? For strawberry? Strawberry.

Vegan. It was sneaky as hell. It is sneaky. It's, this is, it is fun. I'm just like, oh, I don't like, I'm sorry. I feel bad. I mean, look, and I think this is great that this is a place exists for vegans. I think it's a great thing.

Yeah, I think if you don't have dairy ever, this is probably so close to the real thing. Sure, yeah. And, like, satisfying that craving that I can, I get why so many people I know are obsessed with this place. I don't know. have had better, like, non-dairy versions of ice cream, but I don't know, but I don't love non-dairy. I drink oat milk on a daily basis, so I'm kind of, it can't, anything with an oat milk base here, I couldn't taste it. It tastes like regular ice cream. Yeah, I don't mind.

I'm so exposed to oatmeal. You drink, what do you mean? In what context? In, like, it's with espresso. Okay, okay. You're not just drinking a glass of like a psycho. You, your espresso skills are pretty good, though. I'm starting to get better.

You whip me up a dish or a a drink. A latte, that was fun. Yes, I have an espresso, like a little, actually I was influenced by the Cape Berland episode of a couple years ago. I got a Breville Bambino and I've been learning how to pull some espresso shots. I have the same thing and I love it. It's like a great morning ritual. You were at Amelia's house? We were driving down to the Irvine show.

Yeah, before the Irvine show. He was in front of my house. It was in front of her. I didn't go in her house. Too close for comfort if you asked me. Like Michael Myers standing up front. He could have come in if you wanted to. I didn't need to come in.

Okay. Yeah. And you made her make you a coffee before you went to the Ravine show? You offered. I offered. She also offered me one, but I already made myself one at home. A lovely ride down. Yeah, it was really fun was that.

You are Burger Brigade. Let's get to our verdicts, our final scores. Let's send our guests home where they want to go. Well, there's still more show after this. Oh, you have to do a show after this? No, there's still more show. The show doesn't end after we give our fork scores. I know, but at that point, you're, like, on the home stretch.

I guess so. Yeah, it's almost like. We still have, like, 40 minutes of bullshit after that. We'll see. We'll do it. I think we're going to be okay on time. Hey, buddy, a good night's rest sets you up for a great day, and that's why I'm so happy with Helix. Now, here's the thing.

Mitch, my co-host, my cohort, my friend, my, dare I say, colleague has a moonlight lux mattress and i know that bad boy has improved his sleep because he talks about it all the time guide is talking a blue streak about this moonlight lux can't shut up about it can't keep his yapper shut and that's because to him it's like sleeping on a cloud helix has over 20 mattress models so you can find the perfect model for you helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. and a 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The Happy with Helix Guarantee offers a risk-free customer-first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied

with your new mattress. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired. Go to Helixleep.com slash Do-Boys for 27% off site-wide, exclusive for listeners of doughboys. That's helixleck sleep.com slash doughboys for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for listeners of dough boys. Andrew, you've done the show before. You know how this works. We'll each go around.

We'll give our closing arguments, if you will, on this week's Shane Magpies. And end that by giving it a score from zero to five forks. You are a guest. Your thoughts, your fork score for magpies. I think, too. Wow. Oh, my God. I love it.

I know. I don't. It's brutal. It's sneaky. It's sneaky. Yeah, it's sneaky. It is. They're trying to trick you.

Right. They're trying to trick you. They trick me multiple times. Yes, me too. And when they do have dairy, I'm not as excited because of the tricks. Yes. So it's kind of like, be honest. Yeah.

Don't pull any more tricks. Yeah. That to a point where I can't even enjoy the real dairy. I like this. Yeah. You're just sitting there, you're eating this. You're like, are they putting one over on? me.

They're pulling a fast one. And if the answer is yes, then I'm a sucker. And if the answer is no, I'm like, I don't even know if I like this. It's kind of bringing down the rest of the last. Yeah, it dampens the mood a little. I'm with him. Yeah. What do you think, Mitch?

Look, a local Los Felis chain, I'm rooting for it. I think you're a vegan. I think it's great. For me, it's just not going to get into the Golden Play Club for Miwags. I think that there were some pies that were like really. fun and I like to eating them. But for me, I think it's just outside. I think I'm going to go.

And look, vegans, don't trick us. Don't try to do this stuff anymore. Don't do it. And maybe your score will go up next time. There's a little lesson for all the vegans listening. Three and a half works. Three and a half, a pretty good score. It is a pretty good school.

I mean, it's not horrible. Yeah, should I go lower? No, I don't think you have to go lower. No, I don't think so. Maybe, it's honestly, might even be three for me. But I'd say somewhere in there. That's nice. Because the stuff that was good was good enough and it was ice cream, I guess.

And I do like that it's a local place. And I do like that it's a place for vegans to get like an approximation of ice cream. Do you want to split the difference and say three forks one time? Maybe that's your score? Yes, though it does sound like you're speaking down to me. But yes, three fours one time. No, I'm just saying. I know.

I'm just, if you want to settle on one canonical score. Fine. Three forks one time. Okay, got it. Here's the thing. Three and a quarter forks. Three and a quarter forks. Mm-hmm.

One quarter forksion. Have you seen episode seven of Star Wars? No. There's this character, No. There's this character, Uncar Plut. Said in a way that, like, I don't want to hear any more about it either.

So the subtitle is of Force Awakens. There's this character, Uncar Plut, who's kind of like a breakout fan favorite. Oh, shut the fuck off. And he has this thing that says, one quarter portion. So I was referencing that. You know what I did watch is Grogu.

What did you mean? I love Grogu. Wow, you love Grogu. He's so cute. He is very cute. So cute. He's really cute. I don't think I haven't seen that movie yet, but I do think he's cute as far.

He's so cute. Yeah. But that movie doesn't seem like it needs to exist. Someone's silent about this. I want Grogu to die of 50-year-old SIDS. You hate Grogu. Grogu is 50. What is he doing?

He should grow up. He's tricky. He's like a vegan. Right. He's fucking actor rage. I know what you mean. Yeah. Come on.

He's 50 years old. Right. He's infantilizing himself. I agree. Okay. He likes it. He has a little smile on his face. He knows what he's doing.

It's disgusting. Yeah. Here's the thing. This is about Grogu? First of all, I like Grogu. I do like Grogu. But the new movie looks dumb. I saw a Mandalorian Grogu.

What did you think? Uh, it's not good. Yeah. Like, uh, the, the, I'll say that, like, the stuff that I like the most about it is when Grogu was alone. Like, when he's, like, going through holes and stuff, I was like, this is kind of fun. Yeah. Uh, and so who did you just said recently?

They should have just called a baby Yoda and it would have made like a hundred million more dollars. Someone, someone on a text thread. Yeah. Someone on a text thread. So one of the text threads I'm on with you. Someone said that. Yeah.

I do agree with that. Uh, I don't know. They get mad at me when I make fun of, I stick up for Napo Boys and they're like, we don't like Napa boys and like, like, You're in their movies. I know, but I do like it. I like to do. And then, you know, like, then they'll say, like,

then I'll make fun of Star Wars and they're like, he's too mean to Star Wars. I don't know. Look, my movies opinions are bad. You don't like my movie opinions. They never do. They never have. You like my movie opinions.

I do like your movie opinions. I think you're a man of passion. You care about cinema. I think you love movies and you want them to be good. And you're rooting for movies to be successful. I think you are perhaps a tad cynical for my taste at times. But. I think that's okay.

Because you say what you believe and you believe what you say. My letterbox, if you look at my letterbox, way more fives than ones or zeros. Fives. Yeah. I like a lot of movies. That's high. Yeah.

I don't give stars. Do you have letterboxed? Yeah. Okay. I'll follow your letterbox. What is it? Okay. Andrew, Jin.

Wow. I think. Following. I think. We're following. Wait, let me see. We're following. Here's the thing.

Beans are on the right side of history. Cynical. Piece of shit, fuck off. Yeah. underscore. Underscore. Where's the underscore? Underscore.

At the end. Got it. Following. Why did I do that? Okay. And speaking of underscore, underscoring my verdict is my appreciation of vegans from an ethical standpoint. Your dog is in your profile picture.

Oh, yeah. Wait, let me see that dog? Oh, cute as fuck. She's cool. There is a morally just case for abstaining from consuming animal products, and I very much appreciate people to do so. I just can tell you, you think I'm a hard review. Andrew is, I'm just looking at reviews already.

They're fucking, you're pretty tough on movies. Wait, hit me with one. Oh, no. Interstellar, two and a half stars. Oh, no. Oh, no. The drama, two stars. Yeah, I didn't like the drama. One battle a half, Nardo.

Three and a half. Oh, you liked it. I liked it. That was almost my, that's almost my equivalent for magpies. Magpie. I liked it more than magpies. Fegans are, Fegians are cruel.

146, two films this year? That's all you've done this year? No, I just forgot to log them. I keep forgetting too. I keep forgetting a habit. I forget. I deleted from my phone and then I was like, oh wait, you're right, I have this.

And then there were like a bunch of movies I had to re-log. I need to log a ton. Yeah. I also liked, you gave Mickey 17, a high score. I like Mickey 17. I like a lot of people don't like it. A lot of people don't like it.

I like it. I like it too. I like it. Thank you. Vegans are correct. But you got to think about your tactics because, you know, obviously people know, the preachiness at times can be a bit much. I'm not saying all vegans are like this, but there are some who are particularly morally righteous and no one likes being talked down to and no one likes being bullied into changing their mind.

It's not how people work. They also don't like being tricked. And there's a lot of tricks going on here. There is. There's a lot of tricks. It's like a magic shop if you walk into a magpies. And this tricky business, I would say if you're at ice cream parlor, stay out of the tricky business.

Stick to the sticky business. Because what I want is some sweet treats where I know what I'm getting. And be honest foreground what the ingredients are because if I see there's a vegan one. Remove the P, remove the E, and add a C. Magic. That's good. By the way, if you go to the store, it tells you what flavors are vegan. We've decided they're tricking us.

I feel tricked. No, I feel tricked. I feel tricked. Oh, you're on the trick, huh? I went there to pick it up, and the menu is on two TV screens, very large, it tells you what's vegan, what the bases are. No, it sounds, you know why it's tricky?

Because it's... Just have it all be vegan then. Which we thought it was. Yeah, just have it all be vegan or all dairy. Yeah, make up your minds. It's almost more disorienting. I agree that there's like only a few dairy flavors. Like the ratio is kind of flipped

and that itself feels like a trick. Yeah. Anyway, I still like some of the pies and some of the flavors. I would say it's about 50-50. So for me, that lands right in the middle. I'm to say three forks. I'm over you. I'm shocked.

I thought you would be in like the Golden Play Club. Well, I also just soft serve is never as never to be as good as hard pack for me. Yeah. I ain't with that hard pack. Hard pack. Hard pack is way better. Hard pack. Hard pack.

Hard pack. Hard pack. Hard pack. I think that I feel bad shitting on a local place. I'm not shit. I'm not shitting on it. I'm just saying like, you know. It's just not.

Yeah. And I think that it, look, it's a very popular place for, for, for, for, a reason. Yeah, we're not going to sink its business. Yeah, a lot of people like it. Deyes, what are your thoughts? Spoon score. Um, I give it a three.

I would give it a four. You go up to four. What weighs you for the four? Because she's in on the tricking. I'm in on the tricks. I will say their menu on their website does not disclose whether it's vegan or not, which is a bit of a trick. But when you order online, when you order online, it has it all there, like, in

parentheses, vegan. Once again, you're in on that trick. You were ordering for us. Yeah, I have a trickster. I like it. Okay. That was review of magpies. It's time for a segment.

I've got some hot button food topics and we'll be judge, jury, and executioner. It's another edition of food. What is it? Exitutioner. Exitutioner. It's another edition of food court breakfast edition. Wow. Do we do the gavel motion now?

Yes. And are you going to add a sound effect? I have it. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Perfect. All right, first up, I think we know the answer here.

Can you put that out of sync for the... All right, thank you. First up. Imagine if you were to court and you saw a judge hit his gavel in the sound game like... What the fuck's going on? This gavel's broken? It's like a funny judge, like a trick gavel? It's got a little dish.

back by it. All right. First up, I think we know the answer to this, but this will just be our way in. Breakfast, sweet or savory. Wow. Savory. Yeah.

I think it's savory. Does anyone make a case for a sweet dessert? I thought it was breakfast. For breakfast. We're almost there. Wait, a savory dessert. I said it backwards. What is it even is a savory?

I mean, honestly, like, cheese? You have a cheese platter? Cheese, okay. I was going to say, is yogurt considered a savory breakfast or a sweet breakfast? Because I do eat yogurt for breakfast a lot with fruit in it and, like, honey on it. And that is kind of sweet. That's a great point. And honestly, that's more of an everyday dessert or breakfast for me.

Jesus, Christ. Is mango sticky rice savory or sweet dessert or sweet dessert? I think it's sweet. It is sweet. But the rice does make me feel savory. In my head makes me feel like... But they make it really sweet. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, the sauce and everything. Yeah. I would maybe make a case for the sweet breakfast. I almost did it. The sweet breakfast. Yeah, that's interesting. Because like I maybe I'll land there.

I can't get away from savory. But I do... I mean, eggs are king. We talk about... Yeah. And I do it. And also like, you know, if you're talking about like a bagel or something or I'd rather have that than a cinnamon roll.

Yeah, like if I'm going to brunch and having fun, I'm not getting yogurt. But I will very often have... yogurt and berries with a little bit of honey or some oatmeal and some fruit with some maple. Eggs are a tricky, a trick food, too. You know what I'm saying? You can use

them to do tricks on people. You use them to do tricks on people. Just pointing that out. All right, next up, cereal. Cereal, hot or cold? Cold. For sure. Hot cereals can be pretty good. He's going to argue for hot cereal. I think I'm Atlanta on hot cereals, but I do like cold cereal. What's your favorite cold cereal?

Oh. So oatmeal is a hot cereal. Yeah, that's a hot cereal. That's what we're saying. Yeah. Okay. Cinnamon toast crunch. That's a good cereal.

Yeah. I like that one. Do I like oatmeal more than I like, like, like, frosted flakes and raisin brand? I don't know. This is so hard for me. We're talking grits. We're talking cream of wheat. I mean, there's also the hot, I mean, you know.

Of wheat. Yeah, it's, it's, I don't know. I just like the, I like the feeling of a hot bowl of porridge in the morning. I, you're going cold. you're going hot, I'm going, can't make up my mind. This goes to the jury. Oh, shit. Is that how this works?

Sure. The digital sometimes just throw it to the jury. I think hot and cold is a different category because it will be a breakfast category. Jesus Christ. You think hot or cold cereal? There's that a distinction there? I'm confused.

Were you not paying attention again? No, no, I wrote half of things. Order in the court. Order in the court. We're split on that. It's a hung jury. It's a hung jury. It's a hungry jury. We can't decide it's a hungry jury. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. Everyone who works for the show is saying it's good, our guest was not saying anything. All right. So Amelia did write some of these. OJ.

Pulp. Guilty or not? Some. I mean, not guilty. Legally. We have to go by the letter of the law. Legally. Legally.

Legally. He's in heaven. Yeah. Same with MJ. Okay. O.J. Go on. Pulp.

Some pulp. No pulp. What do you mean by pulp? Now, if I could. That's what they sell it. Oh, lots of pulp. and then some pulp. Got it.

If I could make a defense for a pulp for a moment here, I think that they have to go into different categories. I think fresh squeezed OJ is my favorite OJ. That's my number one. Yeah, of course. And that is pulp. So my argument for OJ is a lot of pulp, I guess. I think what, but here's what I'll take from the prompt.

I think we're talking about store-bought orange juice, not fresh-squeez. Because obviously fresh-squeezed is going to be pulpy. Obviously, that's going to be the best version. So if we rule that out, if we're saying like, hey, you got your fucking three Florida's, wherever the fuck the brand is called. What is it called? Florida's favorite. Florida's best. Florida's best.

Side by side by side. You get your three tropicana's. Why didn't we say tropicana? Because I was just picturing Florida's best. Okay. You got tropicana pulp, some pulp, and no pulp. Which one are you picking? I think I'm lining no pulp.

I think our guest is thinking about life like a really was earlier. No, I'm thinking, I think lots of pulp for me. You go pulp. I like pulp. I like pulp, but then sometimes you're in the mood for no pulp. This is a, this is a hard one. Yeah. If I'm making, like, mimosas with it, I think I'm going no pulp.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Otherwise, I'm not really drinking it, unless it's fresh squeeze. Yeah. If I've had an orange juice in the morning, I'm having a mimosa. I'm putting champagne in there. Yeah. What I'm talking about here?

I'm getting drunk first in the morning. I saw. Was that you with Carmen? You had a beer before noon? I did have a beer before noon at Carnies. That was a blast. It was like a Tuesday. Then they went to a work meeting.

All right. Bagels. Everything? Mm-hmm. Or just something? So does everything that's not in everything bagel land in the something category? Like, is a sesame bagel a something? That's, yes, that's my understanding of it.

Who? Now, I have a thing. Yeah. I agreed who do we have this, which text thread or on the Do Boy Show. We talked about this with Matt Selman. With Selman. With Selman. Everything bagels are gross. He does not like. Oh. I do love an everything bagel and it is in my top three bagel.

But I very much agreed for them that everything bagel coming around and destroying the onion bagel was unfortunate because I do love the onion bagel. Yeah, onions is good. I land something because I'd rather have a sesame bagel than an everything bagel. And you know what? I'd also rather just have like an egg bagel than an everything bagel. than an everything bagel. So like one thing.

I land everything. I'm going everything. Wow. And you're going something. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything.

Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. Wow. Whoa. You won't do a something bagel. Wow.

I do love an everything bagel, but I also love a sesame bagel. Yeah, me too. Salt bagel. Oh, salt bagel. Poppy seed bagel. Yeah. Some bagels are a little too much. I do like them, but it's a lot.

Do you have a different, if you're getting a breakfast sandwich or if you're getting a bagel with cream cheese? Is it the same bagel? Would it be everything both ways? or do you get something different for cream cheese? Because I have different answers for both. Everything bagel for cream cheese and then with a breakfast sandwich, a lot of the times I am getting a plain bagel.

Yeah, I don't want too much going on with that breakfast sandwich. It's just contextual. Wait, sorry, I do have a set at 1045. Oh, yeah, I do. Yes. If that's okay. Yeah, we'll be on the episode. We'll do the last one here.

Sorry. I don't apologize. We should ask. Is it nearby? Is that the store? store. Okay, we'll get you out of here. We're going up at 10.45.

I'm wasting too much time. I'm wasting too much time. We'll do one left, one more, and then we can let you go. Didn't think this bullshit would go on this long, did you? We should ask you about it out earlier. This one Amelia wrote, eggs, do you pour milk in that cock sucker to make them fluffier? This is the only one that's like this.

Why did you write it like that? Milk or water, because some people put water in them, right? Why did you phrase it, do you pour milk in that cock sucker to make them fluffier? Because I was writing in your voice. That's your style. That's your, I learned that from you. I learned that from you. Anyway, my answer is, what?

I do pour milk in them to make them a little bit fluffier. Are you talking about scrambled eggs? I do not pour milk in that cock sucker to make them fluffier. I put butter. Yeah. Not milk. Oh, okay. I used to do milk and then we started buying our eggs.

eggs from the guy at the farmer's market and they're so fresh, I don't put anything in them. Oh, sure. Yeah. You just whip them up? Whip them up and then butter in the pan. Love it. All right, that was Food Court breakfast edition. Case dismissed.

Oh, shit. Andrew Jen, thank you so much for being here. One of our favorite guests. It's such a delight to have you. Thanks for making time for us when you're between so many things. Do you have anything you like to plug? No. All right.

Just my letterboxed. It's followed. Thank you. That's all I want. And you've been going on the road so people can catch you. On tour with John Mullaney. There you go. But next year I'll go somewhere myself too.

But John Malini, I'm on tour with John Malini, which is really great. Well, get out of here. And thanks so much for being here. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right. Hey, just like a restaurant, I value your feedback. Let's up with the feedback.

Today's email is from Caroline. Caroline writes, Hi, Dofamilia. What would be your dream promotional tie-in menu? Any chain, any movie, or TV show. Thanks. Wow. Wow.

From New Brunswick in Canada. Hey. Not New Jersey. I have an answer. Let's hear it. I think I would pick mag pies and a tie in with the prestige. You know what? I think that I would choose mag pies too with Now You See Me.

If you have a question or comment over the world of restaurant. That's it. We're done. Feedbag at birdfuck.com or leave us the voicemail to A30 go dough. Number one with two bullets. At 830. Oh, you thought we're going downhill? 6844.

Our YouTube numbers are a little lower lately? We don't care. We're still on top, baby. Our producers, Emma Irving. Give us more respect. Our associate producer is Amelia Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. We got Merchant of Kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.

And Emma, we got a live show in Boston. Thanksgiving Eve. Let's shout out that date. Yes. That is November 25th at the Wilbur. And then the week before that will be in Hewold. You send Dallas and Austin in that order the 17th, 18th, 19th of November. Tickets at birdfuck.com slash live.

Stick around. Do Bois double. Some of my sticks to eat. Doe Boys double over at patreon.com slash doughboys. That's a weekly bonus episode. I got a little cocky there for a second, but please still listen. Please still listen to the podcast. We love you.

We love you. We need you. We need you. You feed Jemmy. You do. Your views and listens feed Jemmy. And Wally and Irma. You know, they pay for my rice.

That'll leave this episode of Doe Boys. You know next time for the spoon, man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Tiger Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. That was a hate gum podcast.