Doughboys - Minisode: After Dough with Joe Episode 3

Episode Date: August 23, 2016

Joe Saunders debriefs the Doughboys Mitch and Wiger, in an episode recapping the final episode of the Doughlympics debacle, and discussing the future of the podcast.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And just like that, it was over. After three tumultuous weeks, the Olympics have finally come to an end, and a climactic match Duncan Donuts took home the overall gold in the coffee category, with McDonald's and Starbucks taking silver and bronze, respectively. Welcome to Afterdote Joe, the official Doughboys aftershow where we break down all of the twists and turns of the Olympics' susser games. I'm Joe Saunders, joined by two special guests today, the hosts of Doughboys, Nick Weiger and Mike Mitchell.

Nick, Mitch, welcome. Joe. Throw up to be here, Joe. Great. Great to be here. Oh, good. Great. How are you guys feeling?

You know, I'll say this, last week it was kind of a dark time. Yeah. You know, what I've noticed with life and like this, with this podcast, you got to look on the bright side. You got to think of the good things. And I guess that's what we got to look at for this competition. We got to look at the bright sides of it. And we got to look to the fact that there's always tomorrow.

There's always a chance to change things around, and now with this thing ending, our podcast can go on and do some great stuff with this officially being buried and put in the ground. Yeah. I mean, I tried to practice mindfulness as much as possible, which is sort of the idea of being in the moment. And the only downside to that is the reassurance that you can give yourself is like, oh, right now is okay. You know, I'm not going to worry about the future.

I'm not going to worry about the past because right now is okay. But it's hard to figure out what to do when right now is not okay. And that was kind of like my feeling in a lot of the process of the Olympics is that I was just like, oh, right now is like, right now is going bad. Like this is bad. This is unpleasant to do. And this is going to be unpleasant to listen to for our audience. So just like that overall is exacerbating my already existing anxiety.

But I am glad that we're through it. To answer your question in terms of how I feel from a physical side, right now Mitch and I were just talking in the restroom ahead of time. We took a little bathroom break after recording the real episode we're now we're doing up to. I was in there too. Joe was in there too. But after you ducked out.

Wow. Inside scoop from Joe. Joe was in there. There's a stall and a urinal. Joe was in the corner watching us. But when Joe was out of there and it was just me and Mitch in there, we had a moment where we were just talking about like we really do feel insane from all the coffee that we drank for the coffee episode.

I'm fucking wired and I do not like it. So much caffeine. I had probably the equivalent of three or four cups of coffee on a pretty empty stomach. Wow. Well, we're about to get into it. I just want to get a quick moment real quick and update some of the after-dote listeners off of a subject we discussed last week. First off, my pink eye has cleared up.

Nickman, you just... Yeah, you're looking great. Thanks a lot. It's cleared up. I'm feeling good. One small update. I now have chicken pox. Is this true?

It is true. Joe, I've never had chicken pox before. Let's look. Mitch, I've been keeping a distance from you. You're not going to get it. I've never had fucking chicken pox. Oh my God. Just to also get it out there, again, this is not...

I know there's a rumor out there that this... I got chicken pox off of a botched Botox operation. That is not true. Again, I don't know how this keeps falling. Keeps falling me around, but it's not true. And I'm going to just persevere through it and keep covering the Dolimps the best that I can. I would also like to make an announcement.

Some great news. I told you there was dark last week, but it's that sort of thing of you can always turn things around in this life. I am not officially not allergic to my kittens. My allergy test came back negative. I'm allergic to molds. What are you going to say, you asshole? I know why you had that look in his eye like he was going to say something.

I'm allergic to molds. Right. I'm allergic to dust mites. And I'm allergic to feathers, which isn't helpful because Wiger is always tickling me with a feather. And finally... That was what you guys were doing in the bathroom. And finally, I am allergic to cockroaches.

I didn't know cockroaches were a thing you could be allergic to. Me neither. I'm proud of it. Yeah, fuck cockroaches. I hate cockroaches. They're fucking nasty. And now I'm like, oh, I've always hated them and maybe my body was allergic to those things. I think it's like cockroach waste.

So I'm very proud to be, which is disgusting that cockroaches even got little cockroaches shit or whatever. Oh, God. Think about it. Cockroaches just squatting and dropping a deuce. It's fucking nasty. And we'll say, hmm, you know what, if you're a cockroach supporter, tweet at us, what's a good hashtag for that?

If you're a cockroach supporter? Yeah. I wonder if anyone likes cockroaches out there. Roaches rock. Hashtag roaches rock. How about a hashtag rock roaches? Rock roaches. Yeah.

Hashtag rock roaches. Also, hashtag, I'm a fucking freak human being. And if you hate roaches out there, hashtag cocksucker roaches. I like those. Yeah, I'm allergic to cockroaches, not allergic to kittens. I'm very happy about it. It's a good time. The cat slept on my head last night.

We were happy. I think that the cat was kicking up dust. Oh, that makes sense. And there were some dust mites or something. And I got sneezing and got a little messed up. That's my worst fear. Like you, I also have two cats. Right.

And I'm worried that I will when they become allergic to them. I think you're good. I don't think it's going to just happen. Yeah, it's been eight years. I don't think. Yeah. Joe, that's a strange fear to be holding on to now. Well, you just never know.

Can chicken pox be transferred to cats? This is a good call. I perhaps got the chicken pox from my cats. I hope you got it. You don't really have chicken pox because it's contagious. And if you get them as an adult, there's like a good chance that you die. Isn't it? Like when you're an adult and you get chicken pox, isn't it very like, isn't it like way

worse? Yeah. But what's weird to me, Mitch, is that you are, for a man who craves death so much, you seem to be afraid of things that will actually kill you. Yeah. You know what? I told you I've turned the corner. Right.

I'm being positive now. There's a lot of stuff left for the Spoon Man to do in this way. That's good, Mitch. I'm glad you have a more positive outlook. You know, you guys kind of, like you said, make mindfulness, that kind of turn that has come up in this last episode, I think was very unexpected for the Olympics. I think that would, I don't know if I quite thought that would, the Olympics and the events and all the food you're eating would lead you to that kind of moment on the show.

Are you taught, now, Mitch is, I'm referring to Mitch's opening up at the beginning of the show. Right. Which he kind of cut off. Yeah. Which then led to some tension because you didn't feel it was respected. Yeah. It's true.

It was. Is there anything that you didn't get out that you wanted to get out now? No. I think I got it all out there. I think I got it all out. I mean, I don't have a lovely wife like you, okay. I am a man who's alone a lot of the time. I have these two kittens and I'm 33.

So there's a, maybe that's a part of the reason why I will go off on God and swear at him. But there's a lot of, I'm blessed in a lot of ways with friends and family. So that's how I'll look at it. And I feel blessed that this thing is over with. You're a lovable guy, Mitch. You're effortlessly lovable, it feels like. You're lovable despite yourself. And I feel like there, you have so many people who appreciate you and are happy to be a real

man around you and crave your friendship. And I hope that there are moments, it seems like right now you're in a mindset where you can appreciate that. But I hope there are moments when you can reflect upon your overall popularity. Well, this little rant here makes it sound like I tried to commit suicide last night. Which did not happen. Hey, by the way, Sausage Party comes out this weekend. That was the food news I was trying to think of.

That was your food news? Yeah. This episode will be out on a Monday, so it will be. It will only be a week. It will be out for a week at this point. A week, yeah. Two weekends, I guess, at the box office now. But that's big for us.

A show about food, we got food starring in a movie and talking about, you know, they're talking and they're afraid of getting eaten. Very big for us. We had this food-based podcast for long enough where we could have been invited to have voice over roles in this movie and weren't. But this unconnected thing that's going to be far more successful than our podcast is, I guess, probably tangentially beneficial to us. You know what?

I'm a little annoyed that Weigart and I don't get invited to go be in movies more often. What's the deal with that? Well, I think there's a Doe Boyz parody in Sausage Party where there's some kind of food starts listening into some podcast. Right. Two actual sentient balls of dough doing a little food-based food podcast. We're going to fucking sue their pants off if they try that. Guys, I want to take a real quick break right here to do a special segment.

As we've seen, the sports Olympics have inspired people all over the world. But how are the Doe Olympics inspiring people? It's time for a segment that we call The Doe Olympics and Me. Oh, God, Joe. Maybe he's trying to figure out how to turn it off. I reached out to a former guest of the podcast. He's a writer for the television series Brooklyn Nine-Nine and he's a member of the UCB sketch group O Brother.

David Phillips. I asked David. He's been on the podcast, Joe. I said that. Oh. Yeah, that was the first thing he said. Yeah. Oh, man.

I'm really not paying attention to people today. But also, I do want to say, you just wanted to plug your sketch group O Brother. I mean, I guess, yes, I am a member of that same sketch group. Again, like with the discussion we had, Joe, when you did this last episode, you reached out to someone, David Phillips, who you knew would actually get back to you. Yes. David, yeah. I was waiting.

David was actually texting me about something and I got him to do this, too. Anyway, I asked David, David, what did the Doe Olympics mean to you? And this is what he said. Oh, God, you guys. To me, the Doe Olympics will forever be something that undoubtedly exists. That's it. Very noncommittal. Yeah.

But it's true. Right. Yeah. You can't argue with it. Hey, listen. It's in the podcast history books as existing. That's true. I don't think we're even going to be in the podcast history.

Well, that's fair, too. It'll be like WTF with Marin and Comedy Bang Bang and Bill Simmons. We're not going to get...we might be in the appendix as an asterisk. Like at some point on a much more successful podcast, someone was like, I think there's a podcast about chain restaurants called Doe Guys or something. Like, oh, so stupid. The podcast where they killed each other on air. This would be the season three of Serial about who murdered him.

I want to ask you about, of course, at the beginning of the show, Evan Susser read that message where he, I guess, abdicated his role. Yeah. A friend of the podcast, Evan Susser, he's remaining as commissioner, but he resigned as chairman of the International Doe Olympic Committee. So yeah, I mean, we were almost at the finish line and he was out of town. I think he really just didn't want to have to participate in this episode over the phone. He just wanted to call in and then just bail.

I think he went to Pittsburgh and ate a sandwich. I don't think there was a wedding. I think he just flew to Pittsburgh and was eating and then is going to come back when the coast is clear. But yeah, I mean, you song stepped in, you song did an outstanding job. He's a great, he's a super intern for us. And he's about to head back to college at this point. He is, yeah.

This is... His last week, I think this was probably this episode we recorded with him in the interim commissioner role. I think it was probably his last Doe Boys before he goes back to Cornell. A fond farewell to you song. We will see him again. I think he called Cornell and asked that school start earlier so that he could leave. But listen, you can't change the past.

Right. We did this Doe Olympics and you got to look back on it and you got to find the good things about it. And for me, the good thing is that it's over. Speaking of looking back, if there was knowing what you know now, having lived through it, if you could have done something differently going in, what would you have been besides not doing it at all? I would say here, here's the thing.

And I would say aside from, I know not doing it at all is something you took off the table. That would be my obvious answer. But I would say we fell in love with the pun, like Doe Olympics and then the bigness of the Olympic event and then the fact that Doe Olympic sounded like was a pretty good Portmanteau made us go like, oh, we should do this. For really no other reason than it kind of like Doe Olympic sounded like a thing that would exist. But we didn't have a well thought out concept in the way we did for other ones where we

just have a very easy to understand, you know, Rocktoberfest, which was one we did in October was these are rock themed chain restaurants. The tournament of champions is just we're going to see which is the best chain restaurant burger. They're very easy to understand in one fragment of a sentence versus the Olympics. I don't know how you'd explain it. It's just like it's so abstract and it's not accessible. And that's why I think the so many episodes got mired in the muck and then just really

just slowed down. I think if I were to change anything, I could go back in time. How far back am I going? You can go back three weeks. Three weeks. Before the start of the Olympics. Is that four weeks or three weeks? Three weeks.

This is the third and final week. Okay. So three weeks ago, I would say exactly what I said back then, except I would be more adamant. That this shouldn't happen. You know what? I think it would have been fun to have some more food challenges. Here's the thing.

Susser spearheaded this and then gave up on it and I feel like couldn't be bothered by it. I'm calling you out, Suss. Your commissionership is bullshit. We already spent like most of last episode the first part calling you out. Calling Susser up? Yeah. At this point it's just sort of...

It's just a known thing. Yeah, we're just pissing on his corpse. Good. Maybe it would have been fun to have more... I think that we got into this idea of these things going up against each other. Maybe it would have been more fun to have a fry eating competition or the foot long race or something. I don't know.

Our first idea we talked about, we threw around ideas like, hey, what should this be? And one of the first things we thought about was like, oh, we'll do a delivery guy race where we'll order three pizzas from three different chains at the same time, track them on the apps and then we'll see gold, silver and bronze in terms of who arrives at the studio first. We could have bet money on it. It would have been fun. That would have been fun and then we never even actually did that.

That was like our one good idea and we never actually followed through on it. What a mess. Yeah, it was a disaster. That's pretty good. Well, you know, another time. Okay. You know, I think we're going to take another break for another quick segment. We've actually talked a lot about you song and he was very kind to participate in this

next section of the Olympics and me speaking of which the hell's going on, Jeff? Oh, Jesus. I like to think this is the only song in your iTunes on your phone. This is the only song you have downloaded. Um, you song, of course, is now the I believe he's the chairman of the Olympics games. Yes. The Olympics, you song games, maybe even. Yeah, I guess he'd be the chairman of the International Olympic Committee.

This is like the guy who's like this is like with Susser, the guy when the when the Brexit happened and one guy stepped down immediately, the guy who championed the Brexit and then left the mess with someone else. I think, yeah, I think he opposed the Brexit, but did a horrible job organizing the opposition. Oh, okay. And then when he lost the vote, he resigned and someone else came in to clean his mess. It doesn't check out exactly then. Yeah.

But it's pretty close. Mm-hmm. Well, anyway, I asked you song, I said, what did the Olympics mean to you? And he had, he had this to say, What did the Olympics mean to me? The Olympics, for me, really made me reflect on how being a part of Doughboys in a small way has truly been, in all honesty, the pinnacle of my career, which is, which has given me a lot to think about. Anyway, love the show, love after show, and please don't fire me.

Thanks. Bye. There it is. You're a good dude you saw. You saw you're a great guy. Joe, you're threatening him or something? Threatening him? I don't know.

You couldn't threaten him, I guess. That would be the fist fight I would most want to see is you song versus Joe Saunders. Two skinny, mild-mannered, non-confrontational men flailing at each other. Let me see who could run away from the faster. Oh, man. Well, I'm trying to think if I have any other questions. Was there anything else that you guys want to talk about? I don't know, I think we covered it at this point, right?

Apologies for breaking down last episode. That's fine, you have nothing to apologize for, you're just being honest. I'm looking forward to see what's next for Doughboys. We've talked about some future episodes, we've got some really great guests coming up, we've got some really great restaurants coming up that we're going to cover. I think it's going to be an exciting rest of 2016 and we're not going to close the book on Doughboys at the end of 2016. We're going to look into the new year and hopefully there will be 2017. 2017 is when this thing is really going to finally become listenable. So, look forward to that.

And the Doughboys TV show. Should we lie and say we just sold it? We just sold a Doughboys TV show, so if you're running the deadline blog, go ahead and put that up there. We sold it to MTV too. Yeah. Hey, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's not bad. I'll take it.

Well, it's been exciting to be here and to watch it all happen. Actually, I have a confession to make, this is the first after Dough episode that we've recorded where I actually listened to the episode before. We talked about it afterwards. Which makes sense that you are knowing what's going on. Yeah. As opposed to the one where you and I did where you seemed completely confused and didn't know what to say. And neither did I. That's true.

I had no context at all for what the games would be. And I actually still don't. Yeah, me neither. But, you know, that's just something I wanted to get off my chest. Anyway, I want to give a special shout out just here at the, we're going to wrap things up. I want to give a special shout out to the R2 after Dough with Joe sponsors. First up, it's Caudill Design Build, a home improvement company in Atlanta, Georgia. It's run by my high school friend Shaefer Caudill.

He's a great guy and they do great work. So if you're in the Atlanta area and you need some home improvement, check him out. Hold on, hold the phone. What? Okay, go on. Give your second plug. They're to the Donald Glover Atlantis show. No, I don't want to talk about that, Joe.

Our second sponsor, of course. Okay. The Glover Saunders Wars have begun. I've been working on my own Atlanta show and let's just say this is not good for it. Anyway, our second sponsor, of course. Monsanto, the multinational agrochemical and agricultural biotech corporation. Monsanto, growth for a better world. Thanks a lot for your support of After Dough with Joe, both of those companies.

Oh, God. Oh, Joe. Anyway, will we see the Olympics return in four years? No. Mitch? Well, you know what? Maybe there's the Olympic Armand Weitzman Games. We talked about that for winter.

Yeah, okay. That's not my bad. If we want one more disorganized and even more crazy. Where the commissioner shows up for none of the episodes. Maybe you never know what we're going to see. Not them, but God, no, you do know what you're going to see. You're going to see the same bullshit you always see. People who listen to podcasts like the normal episodes. It's going back to normal.

That's what we're getting back to. Resetting to the formula that you like. Joe, maybe we'll have you come in with a new sort of bread soon, huh? Oh, he brought in a bread last week and apple, what was it again? It was an apple pie bread. Apple pie bread. It was real tasty. I wasn't here last week. I was convinced it was a, I mean, you can listen to the episode,

but I was convinced that it was... Mitchell will never listen to podcasts. I was convinced it was a disaster, but Nick was very nice about it. It was very tasty. The bread or the actual episode? The episode was a mess, but the bread was good. Well, good night to the 2016 Olympic Susser Games. That's all I have to say.

Burn in hell. Okay. Well, everyone, thanks for tuning in to After Dough with Joe over the course of these past few weeks. Joe, I got a question for you. Are you gonna keep After Dough with Joe going? Well, you know, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what the future holds. Keep a look out on my Twitter for any announcements of future dates

or live shows or anything like that. From here on out, it's gonna be recorded by the iPhone microphone. Yeah, so that might be the only place to find it is on my iPhone. I feel like I had one more thing I wanted to ask, but I can't remember what it is. The perfect way to end the show. Guys, thanks for having me. Anything you or thanks for being on the show?

Anything you want to plug before you go? Joe, thank you for hosting the After Show during the Dough Olympic Susser Games. We feel like now at Dough Olympic U-Song Games, we feel like you lived up to the hype as the Bob Costas of podcasts about chain restaurants. I think you really delivered on that level, so thank you for being a part of it. Well, thanks a lot. Yeah, thank you, Joe. You did a great job. Well, there you go.

That's it for another episode of After Dough with Joe, the official Doughboys podcast where we break down and discuss the twists and turns of the Dough Olympic Susser Games. I'm Joe Saunders. Goodbye.