Doughboys - Monty's Good Burger with Evan Susser

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

Commissioner Evan Susser (Fist Fight, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Man Bites Dog) joins the ‘boys to reflect on 2021 and review Steak ‘n Shake for a sixth time (kind of) via plant-based Monty's Good Burger. Plus the debut of a new segment: I Don’t Like Sand… wich. Sources for this week's intro: https://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/nov/22/men-behaving-better-lads-mags-digital http://www.biglariholdings.com/governance.htm https://www.qsrmagazine.com/business-advice/who-sardar-biglari-0 http://www.expressnews.com/business/business_columnists/greg_jefferson/article/Biglari-s-Maxim-purchase-is-a-classic-5298580.php https://web.archive.org/web/20160506214030/ http://www.capitalnewyork.com/article/media/2016/01/8586909/maxim-name-owner-sardar-biglari-editor-chief https://nypost.com/2013/09/13/maxim-magazine-sold-could-be-headed-to-tv/ https://www.restaurantbusinessonline.com/financing/after-last-minute-rescue-sardar-biglari-steak-n-shake-embraces-kiosks Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there anytime to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow. Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders,

offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger. And click that link. Click that link in the episode description. The UK in the 1990s saw the emergence of so-called lad culture, a celebration of young men getting drunk, watching football, and generally being randy. And with it came the rise of lad magazines, print publications that blended ribald writing with soft core Wank material,

with names like For Him magazine or FHM, Stuff, Loaded, Zoo, and Nuts. A similarly unapologetic celebration of maleness surfaced stateside, though lads were instead called do's or bros. Randiness was called horniness, and football was of course of the American sort. And so, too, the lad mag migrated across the pond, though with the breasts covered for the Puritans, US versions of FHM and Stuff, along with the most successful import, Maxim Magazine. Featuring an array of saucy celebrity photoshoots and articles like legalized steroids and cheat and don't get caught, the publication peaked in circulation and relevance in the early 2000s. But lad mags, along with magazines at large, faded away in the 21st century due to the rise

of the internet, and by the early 2010s, Maxim had declined from a circulation of 9 million to around 2 million. Enter Sardar Bighlari, CEO of his eponymous Bighlari Holdings. As reflected on his company's remarkably crude website, Bighlari owns a diverse slate of interests including Steak Chain Western Sizzlin, First Guard Insurance, and Southern Oil of Louisiana. In 2014, Bighlari added to his Holdings by purchasing Maxim for $12 million, promptly adding his own signature to the logo, and pivoting away from its lad mag roots toward being an Esquire-style men's lifestyle magazine. Sales fell a further 40% as a result, but undeterred, Bighlari appointed himself editor-in-chief in 2016, asserting even tighter control over the

publication. The pattern will seem familiar to devout fans of another asset in Bighlari's portfolio, a beloved Midwest burger chain with diner-style table service that first opened in Illinois in 1934. Bighlari had acquired the hamburger and milkshake brand in 2008, taking the regional chain national by way of new, by Bighlari, locations which similarly affixed his signature to the company's logo, while vastly reducing its menu and swapping in more cost-efficient counter service. The results were similarly catastrophic, as sales tumbled, dining room shuttered, and the company piled on debts, while franchisees and employees filed myriad lawsuits against the parent company. As reported by restaurant businesses Jonathan Mays in February

of 2021, Bighlari had to inject cash to pay off the company's debt and is now desperately transitioning the remaining restaurants from counter service to even cheaper automated kiosks. Today, most of the old-school lad mags are defunct or irrelevant, superseded by online simulacrums like the chive and barstool sports. And while one could note that Bighlari's mismanagement of Maxima's side, print media was doomed either way, that's not the case with chain restaurants, a sector that continues to thrive, even factoring in the pandemic. It seems to just be Bighlari's standard operating procedure. Buy a new car, take the wheel, and promptly drive it off a cliff. This week, on the final new Delboys of 2021, we return to Steak and Shake. By way of a plant-based

Steak and Shake alternative, Monty's Good Burger. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, slob cratchit, the spoon man Mike Mitchell. Slob cratchit, like Bob cratchit. That's right. He was a good man. Right, but you're the slobby version of him, apparently. According to that roast from Joe, Joe, who also submitted our first ever Emma roast, our producer, Emma Erdbrink.

This is Joe's email. Far be it from me to break your format, but after Emma's sneeze on the Capitol Grill episode and the Looming Holiday season, I couldn't help but submit this double-roast Emma-Sneezer Scrooge, as well as the lowly slob cratchit. Wow, that's amazing. Slob cratchit and Emma-Sneezer Scrooge. Emma-Sneezer Scrooge. Emma-Sneezer Scrooge. Who are you in the story? Who am I? I'm still Weiger. Hey, buddy.

A few people will send in versions of some sort of Emma-Sneezer variant, but Joe had it first, roastspoonmanageemail.com. Also, be careful with the Emma roast. I wouldn't want to cross her. I certainly would never dare. Yeah, I'm surprised at how excited I just was to hear that someone roasted me, so. You know what? Charles Dickens was missing the character of Weiger and a Christmas Carol. I think it would have added to the story. You get the Ghost of Christmas pass, the Ghost of Christmas present, Ghost of Christmas future, and then Weiger. The scariest of all. I'm going to show you some weird stuff, buddy. What were you going to say, Weiger?

This is Mitch. This is the final mainline Doughboys of 2021. We do have new episodes in the Doughboys double the next two weeks on patreon.com. But this is it for the Doughboys main feed until 2022. On to 2022. On to 2022, Weiger. Jesus. Here's my question for you. Because these years of both, they've both once flown by and been interminable, do you think 2021 was worse than 2020? Ultimately, no. I don't know that it was bad in its own way because. Yes. Because, you know, 2020, you know, and then there was like sides of 2020, remember when we were like, oh, this is kind of interesting to be inside for like a minute, you know, like that

happened for like a, and then like, like a month into it was like, this sucks. But 2021 is like been so back and forth and still bad. And still like, I didn't get my, you know, I didn't get a vaxed until, you know, a, what, a quarter of the way through 2021, at least. So when April or May or whenever I got back. So like, I don't know, it's no, it's, it's been fucking, it sucks. It sucked too. Hopefully 2022 will be better. But I don't know. I'm guessing maybe it just doesn't get better from here on out. Similarly to you, Mitch, but I got my first vaccination the day they opened it up to everybody here in the state of California, which was April 15th tax day. So I got vax one, Pfizer vax two on May 6th. And I might be boosted by the time this episode releases.

Who knows? I got to get boosted as well. Like I need to get, I need to get the boost. Weig's want to give a shout out to friend of the podcast, Samantha Neeson-Boyam, Hollywood reporters 35 under 35. Wow. She made the list. Congrats, Samantha. Very cool. Yeah. She rules. So that's exciting. And then also, there's a couple of things that we forgot in past episodes. I wanted to say that McDonald's, we went to, we went for the McPlant. Has that come out yet? Yes. Yeah. We went for the McPlant. This is the final episode of the year. And so, yeah, you could, you could infer that episode already came out. I got a biodegradable straw at McDonald's. And I don't know if you did too. I got a conventional straw there, but I did get

a biodegradable straw at this week's chain, which we'll talk about in a bit. Wow. I got one at McDonald's, which was, which was surprising to me, which just, and you know what, like in McDonald's fashion, it was like one of the best biodegradable straws like I'd ever had. It was great. But also, we never touched on the bread at Capitol Grill either. I've been making notes about things we've missed in there. We, okay. So we did cover that on a Doughboys double episode. But yes, if you want to get, you want to talk mainline about the Capitol Grill bread, the Capitol Grill bread was quite good. No, wait, we talked about it on a mainline episode. We did talk about that. We talked about that after on the Judd Apatow episode. We did talk about it. Judd was like,

I have to leave. And he left abruptly. And then the second half, the two of us talked about bread. Wow. Yeah. A lot of fun. Their bread was very good. And I think that was a thing that we absolutely should have shouted out because it started off the meal off with a bang. Salted butter too. I'm going to put salt on my butter. Good, big old pad of butter. Wait, well, do you, because I get the unsalted butter. The unsalted butter is better for like cooking and baking. And then you can just add your own salt. So that's usually the method I go with. But like some softened butter with some, yeah, well, some, they have some softened butter, but they like, they salt it there. Like it's, or it's like, like they, they put some like kosher

salt on top of it or whatever. Why is unsalted butter better for baking? That's a little rhyme. Why is unsalted butter better for baking? Why is unsalted butter better for baking? Like a vocal warm-up? Can you say that three times fast? Why is unsalted butter better for baking? Why is unsalted butter better for baking? Why is unsalted butter better for baking? I guess it wasn't that hard. Red leather, yellow leather. It was kind of easy. It's a little tricky. Seems pretty fucking easy if you ask me. You fucking nailed it. It's easy because I did it, you do it. Unsalted butter is better for baking. Unsalted butter, fuck! Yeah, the answer to your question is because you can control the salt level

with a little bit more granularity. Got it. Hey, just like salt, granular. Wigs, happy holidays, my friend. Happy holidays to you, my good man. Ho, ho, ho. In a way we go. Many stockings to you. Many stockings to you as well. And many candles to our guests. But first, I have to say, out of hoe to Spoon Nation. Look, my allergies are bad. So that's why my throat isn't really working the way it should be. But Wigs, here is a little drop, my friend. If anyone, for those of you who don't follow the NBA, Mugsy Bogues, a famously short pro basketball player in the NBA, he's in Space Jam. I got a question for you. Are you all hearing my dinging?

No. You don't hear my dings? You don't hear my dings? No. You don't hear my dings? You don't hear my dings? No. You get a few microwaves going or something? What's going on? I don't have multiple microwaves going at once. It's my messages. My messages are dinging over and over again. Is it in your headphones or out loud? It's in my headphones. Okay, then you're fine. You don't hear my dings? You don't hear my dings? No. God, I hope it's in my headphones. Damn, that was a jam. Very good. It's a little jandova at the end from Final Fantasy VII?

Wow. I wonder. You're a true geek. Hey, Mitch and the rest of the Doughboys family, here's my first attempt at a drop. Wow. I got a little carried away, so it's a bit long. I'm sorry. Yeah, too long. Should have been disqualified. Anyway, thanks for all the laughs. And you know who it is, Wigs? Barry from the Dough Squad. We know Barry. Wow, Barry. Barry. What's up, my friend? Thank you. That was a great drop. Too long, so you'll never get to play another drop. That's the rule now. But it was nice. A nice drop. Barry's a monster of fitness. Yes, that's right. I've heard this. Yeah. We've been doing the Doughboys Discord server, the Dough Squad. Everyone's been doing

move together, which is like a, it's like fantasy, it's kind of like fantasy sports, but it's for your own fitness. So like how it's all on our system, but whatever your workout is, like you just log it and you get points for your team or whatever. But Barry's always at the top of the leaderboards, always being MVP. For those of you who have always wanted to play fantasy sports, but you wanted it to be even dorkier, there's, there's movement where you can track your movements and it's like fantasy sports. Yeah. Sounds like shit. Sounds like true shit. It's fun. It's good, clean, fun. And you know what? It motivates you to try to work out and take care of yourself. You know what? I'm going to start a thing called crank it.

Okay. What's crank it all about? Tell me. It's like fantasy sports, but you're cranking it. Got it. I'm weighing the lead with, uh, because of no nut November. I didn't, I didn't participate. No, not November. So I shot him. I shot to the top of the leaderboard. I mean, that's kind of unfair. No, not November is over. The holidays are here. That's right. No, not November is over. It's Dick destroy December. Do you think Santa participates in no, not November? I mean, I think that's how he has the energy to make those deliveries. Yeah. So he's, oh, he's, he like saves himself up for the, for the big day. That's right. Yeah. Wow. And then, uh,

and then the, the, the night of Christmas, him and Mrs. Claus get a little freaky. He fills the chimney if you catch my drift. I don't, but you can explain it to me later. All right. Let's get a while. Let's get our guest in here. I got Emmett to laugh with that one. That's all I need. Our guest is not, our guest is not amused, but you know what, maybe he doesn't get some of these things we're talking about because like I said, he celebrates Hanukkah. Oh, there you go. That could very well be it. Our guest, a writer from Brooklyn nine, nine and the movie fist fight and lead reporter for man bites dog, a dovestigation. Evan Susser is here. Hi, Susser. Hi, commissioner. Hi guys.

Great to be here. We're, we're, we're happy to have you back, Suss, for a, a big long day of records with the dough boys. That's right. It's too much. It's too much. Too much. We do this all the time. So what do you, what do you, yeah, this is our lives. These are our lives. We started and started, started very early with a phone call. That's right. Should we talk about the phone call? Should we start off with this? Yeah, we should. Yeah, we should, Suss. Okay. So I don't know if we should reveal what it is, but there's another, there's a dough boys related project. We probably shouldn't. Okay. I'll say what it is. It's the app crank it. We're, we're going to release it to the app store. There's a dough boys related project, not a television show. Absolutely not that ship

has sailed, but another dough boys related project that we had a phone call about this morning and scheduling the call. It was a bit of a thing. Crank it. It was great. We had to cancel one time. I don't remember why. And then it was proposed that we do it this morning, which to pull back the curtain, what we did is the fantastic episode of man bites dog, which you've listened to on the Patreon by now, which everyone will be able to listen to in the major feed coming up very soon. We recorded that. Then the plan was to take a break and we're going to record this big, the sus spectacular year end episode as we always do. What is it called? Yeah, I don't know.

Sustacular. That's not the official name. Okay. Stick and shake seven or whatever. The Sustacular year end episode. What's it up to? Sustacular sounds like, it just sounds like a diagnosis I wouldn't want. What stage is it? I got stage three, Sustacular. And so that's the day. That's what's planned. Then we're trying to schedule this other phone call and Weiger throws out, Hey, what about one big day of we just do that in the morning? We have this phone call in the morning. Then we roll into this five and a half hours of recording though, boys. Sure. Which I didn't want to do. We don't respond.

Me and Mitch just don't respond. Then Weiger needles Mitch and says, what about you? And Mitch says, well, it's fine with me if sus can do it. So now it's on me. Look, I didn't want to ruin it. It seemed like Wags wanted to do it. I obviously, I don't want anything to start any dough boys related shit till afternoon. I want a noon and on for me for dough boys. But I thought, Hey, you know what? I'll leave it up to sus if he wants to do a 1030 call. That's great. So I did. We're also talking to someone on the East Coast. So East Coast during normal business hours. So to be fair, she did have later times in different days. But anyways, yes.

So I'm feeling a little bit of guilt because as always, I'm kind of the one who maybe has like elbowed my way into this, though I don't think so. But so I kind of am like, do I have to move? Like I feel like a jerk. I can't say no, you have to rearrange me. I think the response would be we'll just do it without you. And I don't want that. So I just kind of casually, and this is true. I just say that my daughter has not been feeling well. She might be home from school. If we do it in the morning, it'll be a period of time where I will have to be watching her and doing the phone call. But I suppose knowing all of that, I could still do it. Right. I think it's pretty clear what I'm trying to say is I do not want

to do it at this time. Do it any other time. Yeah, but not a response. Okay, great. Lock it in. 1030. Fine. That's look, you want me to read a social queue? It's not going to happen. You've got to be direct. That's fine. That's fine. I get away with things because I don't understand social shit. That's bullshit. Wasn't a no. That's fine. How many weird comedy guys have tried to use this as an excuse? Everyone's favorites that you fucking listened to on podcast freaks. Oh, it's just specifically are you talking about who specifically are you talking about? Yeah, I just said, oh, just like that. I just said, okay, you're bleeping that out, Emma. So the, so here's, here's what happened. So I think, I think I know where this anecdote

is headed. So I'm the one who's pushing for this 1030 AM Pacific time, again, are the person, the other person, the other party this phone call for this unannounced project, the Crank It app coming soon to the App Store and Android is the, is on the East Coast. And I forgot about the call gave us other times and hours. Yes. Yeah. But in my defense, it was not in the Doe Boys calendar, which I was my response was my responsibility to update, but I didn't update. This was yesterday. You told you told us this yesterday. I know. And also you and I had a dinner that night. I was like, no, I guess I can't really like enjoy myself too much at this dinner. I can't have too many drinks because we got this fucking phone call tomorrow at 1030.

If I'm enjoying myself, I'm going, I'm going hard. I'm going late night. I was going to stay till last call on like a Wednesday. Why the fuck not? And how late were you to the dinner last night? I was 30 minutes late. Yeah. Well, I didn't know that the dinner, look, there's a lot of things. I thought that dinner was the next night. And I went, I went to the dinner. It was a dinner full of a bunch of different people. Me being late had nothing to do with it. Unlike Weigur being late, which was did affect the call. Yes. I was not 30. I was not 30 minutes late to the call. I was seven minutes late to the call. Yeah, but that's different. It's a group dinner. It's a group dinner.

This is fine. It was my fault. It was absent minded to me. I should have put it in the calendar. Don't try to compare the call to the dinner. You can't try to compare the call. I'm not comparing them. No, because now people are going to be like, yeah, it actually is true. And that's not true. They're very different. This is like an open call for dinner. The call, the call, the phone call, it worked out fine. I was very apologetic. Susser made a wears Weigur meme, a la wears Waldo. And we had a lot of fun with that. So it worked out fine, but I apologize.

Imagine the world with all the Waldo's with Weigur's. You know that that one world with all the Waldo's? Is everyone saying, hey, buddy? You're imagining what they're doing. I don't have to do it myself anymore, buddy. So Jesus Christ. So it's been a long Doughboys day, but I think a merry one in the spirit of the season. I think we've been productive, and I think we've been enjoying each other's company. By the way, we're doing double time. We're recording in time for the holiday.

So this is a little before the end of the year. We're actually recording this in July. Yeah, it's a blisteringly hot day. You might hear some fireworks going off outside. I wouldn't put it by you. A fourth of July all day record. You're the Scrooge. You're the Scrooge of the Doughboys, but you're the Ebenezer Scrooge. How am I the Scrooge? And I'm the Marley. Wait, is that right? Yeah. Wait, isn't Marley the ghost? Fuck. I'm a Cratchit. I am Cratchit.

Yeah, slob Cratchit. Goddamn it. Mitch, have you seen the new Ghostbusters yet? I'm going to go see it tonight. Wow. Do you think they do the birthday boys' sketch where the Ghostbusters bust the Ghost of Christmas past? Look, that was a great sketch.

And one that we wrote together. Yeah, that was a good sketch. I will say that actually I did see the movie I saw it early, and that is not in the movie. However, there is a little Easter egg. You do get to see Koalic as a blues brother. So that element of the sketch is in the movie. Wow, good memory wigs. That's how it ends. The blues brothers come out. I play Scrooge, and then Ghosts visit me, and one by one they get busted by Calpacus and Hanford as the Ghostbusters. Sounds right. And then at the end, maybe Calpacus plays a double, a dual role here. Or is it Dutton and Koalic that are the blues brothers? They come out as

the blues brothers at the end. Yeah, a lot of fun. The reason I bring it up is because I've been listening to the podcast and I've really been enjoying the tedious retelling of 10-year-old stage sketches from the birthday boys on the podcast, whether it's Korn's giving or this... I mean, which one should we go to next? 3D? Should we talk about 3D? 3D is good, but we're going to talk about we've got to get that pie. The first big birthday boy sketch because we just had a mash-off in November where we were baking pies. That's right. I want to toss in a lot of, I've got to bake that pie. I was going to say that a bunch. I forgot to do it, but that was a big birthday boy sketch at one point. Yeah, I think in the previous episode,

you kind of tried to bring it up. You said, I've got to get that pie, and the guest just went right by the guest. Do you want to talk about the pie sketch? Well, it's weird that it went right by the guest because it was a stage sketch from like 15 years ago at UCB. So I'm shocked that they didn't understand the reference. You think that they get it. By the way, Sus is in Max Hedermode. I can't understand a word he's saying. He's just chopped up. He's chopped to bits. Really? Oh yeah. What is it? Is it chopped and screwed? Is that the musical style? What is it? Yeah, but that's like an old thing, I think. I think chopped and screwed. It's like dubstep. It's like that's a thing that was like from 10 years ago, but yes, it is a thing.

Yeah. Should I just stop and restart? Yeah, you might want to try re-joining the call. There he goes. There he goes. Why don't we just end the year together? Why? Just the two of us. Don't let him back in. Don't let Suser back in here. Wait, don't let Suser back in. This is a tradition. We bring the commissioner back at the end of most years. So look, yes, Christmas Carol Ghostbust was that the ghosts visited me one by one. We busted all of them. That's right. The past, present, and future ghosts. We busted all of them. And then Scrooge danced with the Blues Brothers at the end, of course. We got to get that pie. I played an old lady whose pie was cooling on the windowsill. And then all the birthday boys tried to get the

pie. I guess that's the sketch. If you can explain the sketch, that was the sketch. Well, yeah, we've got to get that pie. And everyone's trying to get the pie. But I would say that the comedy of that sketch comes from their ineptitude at acquiring said pie. Like at one point, a ladder is employed, but the ladder is placed improperly. So they're unable to reach the pie. Yeah, it's laid flat down. That's right. That's right. And then almost on the old lady, and they kill me at one point. They do kill me. They beat me to death, I believe. They do beat an elderly woman to death.

And then finally, 3D was a sketch where we told people to put on 3D glasses and then we threw stuff at them. That's right. So that's the breakdown of all the sketches there. Any other ones, Sus? Do you want me to describe any more sketches? I think just white pants, and then we'll call it a day. Well, yeah, white pants Labor Day would be good. And if you can get requests from Weigar, I'd like to hear about the sketch with the giant pencil. Oh, the big pen sketch? Yeah, big pen sketch. Basically, I think that was like someone had to sign a contract and then a big pen came out.

So yeah, my memory of it, it was a very serious situation. To take him off life support. Yeah, it was like a very extremely serious document, and they gave him a giant pencil was presented. I think it was Dutton. Wow, you remember this well. It was Dutton in, well, I saw the sketch a number of times. Great sketch show. This is a Dutton joint. Yeah, so I think Dutton was playing the principal character, the guy who had to sign

the document, and maybe Calpacus was the doctor giving him the bad news. And so I could be wrong on that. A pencil was given, and it was like a giant novelty pencil. And Dutton is like, I'm supposed to sign the document with this, like incensed. And he's like, you know what, now I'm talking through it, maybe it was Hanford. And Hanford's like, or whoever, it was like, you're right, it's official document, you should sign it in pen. And then they bring out like an even bigger pen.

Like a giant pen. Like a broom-sized pen, like a push broom-sized pen. If you're wondering, yes, we traveled on flights with the pen. And then he does sign it with that. And then at a certain point, I think in a, I remember, because you were the button in this sketch, Mitch, an eraser was requested or white out. And then, and then Koala comes out and says, bring her in, boys. Like you're expecting something huge.

And then you walk in and you're, you're beeping, you're making a beeping sound with your mouth. I'm shocked you know this. But walking out a tiny little eraser. Like, so that's like the subversion. Yeah. Very, very fun. We call that a filler sketch, interstitial sketch.

People get to get ready for another sketch like Labor Day, the white pants sketch, where we were all, we got mad at Tim for wearing white pants after Labor Day. And we, and we, and I play Rocco, like a fifties bully, like a, like a greaser. And we come out not wearing any pants. We wanted to do that paint. We wanted to do that naked at one point. We never did it. We wanted to do that like with no pants at all.

But I think that that maybe would have just been a turn off for a lot of people. Probably good in hindsight that you didn't do that. Yeah, yeah. Walk out with your hogs out. But I mean, like back then, you know, it was, wasn't there, wasn't there a Disney sketch where people played like Winnie the Pooh and stuff and they didn't have any pants on? I'm sure that happened.

Yeah. There were all sorts of bad sketches and, you know, things that probably were illegal that went on. Sure. I don't know if it's... Why is I'm back on stage? Anyway, I'm glad I got... Yeah, you're glad you got the explanation.

You wanted that? Yeah. Why is I went back on stage in LA? I was back on a theater stage. At the Elysian Theater. The very funny show Playhouse Masterpieces. And now you've been on stage, too, with Silly Spoofmas. We talked, you know, we made fun of two people that are doctors earlier today when we did

Sus's investigative report. But when you hear all the stuff we've done... Maybe we just want to hire this doctor. One of them was an ophthalmologist, which by the way is the enemy kind of of you guys, because isn't it an ophthalmologist that asked you for a kiss or no? Optometrist. Oh, optometrist. Okay.

Yeah. Close enough. I wouldn't say an enemy. I don't hold like this long standing grudge. It was awkward, but I got out of there. But once you hear our accomplishments, isn't it crazy the things we've done over the years, like the 3D sketch and the big pen sketch? That's right.

We've accomplished a lot, Wigs, and we accomplished a lot this year in 2021. It's been a good year. And Mitch, you know, the big news for me personally this year has been the omission of animal proteins from my diet. No meat, jelly, eat, as I've remarked a number of times. I told you this plan in advance of 2021. As I remember, you started the year off angry. You were not happy with my plan, but I think overall it's been a positive thing for the

podcast and for me personally. And I'm ending the year angry. Okay. You're still mad about it. I think you started last year angry, the year before angry. That's true. Kind of started the podcast angry. I'll say, Wiger, you could agree with this.

How often do you think Mitch texts you this phrase, I'm mad? But look. More so than any person I know. Yeah. Look, when I text I'm mad, you know it's kind of funny. I mean, yeah, it is kind of funny. That's your charm. It's a little bit funny when I say I'm mad.

It is a little fun. And also a little bit true. I am a little bit mad. I am mad when I text that. Wigs, you know what? I'm proud of you. I think you did a great job. Thank you.

You committed to it all year round. A big milestone for me, Wigs. I'm leaving Palmerston. Wow. Yes, you mentioned this on a previous episode. Very, very exciting. A new domicile in the greater LA area. That's right.

Wow. I've been here for 11 years. I'm excited. I think I can say that I've seen the new place. I checked it out with you. Yeah, you did. You know, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big decision to leave Palmerston. And I think the new place is nice.

And then one of the, my favorite moment is when, you know, the person was showing the place to Mitch and they get to the bathroom. And Mitch asks if there's like an electrical hookup because he wants, his mom wants to get him a bidet. And he just wants to make sure that the bidet will work. And the reaction from this person, like, we haven't talked about it, but the reaction was so like, your mom, you're going to make this decision based on if your mom can buy you a bidet.

Yes. It was just so baffled by this. My mom said that, she said, any place that I move into next, I need an electrical outlet by the toilet for a bidet. Yeah. It seems also like that's going to electrocute you. Well, hold on a second. It's not exactly what you're talking about.

Hey, you're going to be pissing all over the place. It's going to get in the socket. And so then, is your idea of me getting electrocuted? I'm sitting down on the bidet and I'm like, when I use it? Yeah. I mean, that'd be very funny. I use the bidet. So actually what is happening is that the water shooting into my butt is electrified.

The other, yeah. And then I think the person showing it to you also was like, well, I think you could hook up, you know, they have those hookups that go to the pipe, but it's not heated. And then you said, no, we do need the electric one. We do need it to be heated. But luckily there was an outlet right around the corner from there. So we were, it did save the day.

So it's going to be, it's going to be okay. My mom wants, my mom wants, she wants this Christmas, she really wants them to get that bidet. And why does she know what cuts down on TP? It's true. If you were Costco. I mean, use a little bit more water, I guess. Yeah.

But I feel like, right? Just using a little water to squirt up there is probably better than a lot of toilet paper, right? Yeah. I mean, a little bit of a visceral description. Squirt up there. But I, yes, I think it is probably less environmentally harmful. Oh, sorry.

You weren't affected by the fucking electorate, like when it was shooting into my butt, like the electrified gremlin in Gremlin 2. But then this is, this is. Yeah, this was real. Mitch, I'm happy for you. Everyone was perhaps, everyone out here at least, your, your friends, your well wishers were perhaps a little bit, not concerned, but just, you know, cognizant of the fact that you're concerned, right?

Concerned that you're spending a lot of time living with your mom in Quincy, Massachusetts, and that just might be where you stay forever. And that you were like, hey, I'm going to, you know, come back in LA where a lot of my friends are and spend time, spend a good amount of time out there. I think, I think everyone's happy to see that. Change of scenery wigs. I mean, being in COVID, I think a lot of us knew this. I mean, Sus, you yourself had a change of scenery at one point.

Being in this place, I've been in, I've been in Palmerston for 11 years now. It's just, it's run down, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's past its time. And I, I'm going to miss it since, I'm going to sincerely miss this place. I really love this place. Um, you know, I realized that I meant to write a, a, a parody to Time of Your Life by Green Day, and I didn't do it for this episode. Oh, that's really good. Did you have an angle for it?

Yeah, we can just, we can just drop it in later. Okay. Yeah. All right. Here it is. Another turning point of fork stuck in the road. My mom bought me a bidet for my new commode. I'm going to shoot some water hot up my hole. If you want to stop by, you can shoot some up your hole. Something unpredictable and in the end feels right. I'm moving out of Palmerston tonight.

Wow. That's beautiful. Oh, you didn't even have to do it. I said it for you. Yeah, that's perfect. Wow. Mine was going to say, um, so watch the cat turd in the cum stain on the floor. That was, that was one of the lines. That's good. Also, that's not a cat turd, at least not anymore.

I want to talk about Mitch. Mitch, that's big news for you in, in 2022, the upcoming year. I want to talk about my plan for 2022, which pertains to my nutrition. A lot of people have been wondering like, hey, Weigar, you haven't eaten any meat this year. Is that kind of thing you're going to, to continue doing? I will say that, that, that, you know, again, we are recording this a little bit advanced,

so I haven't made any firm decisions in terms of what I'm going to do. But my, my diet has forever changed. I'm never going back to eating the way I did before. I can say at least that much. I'm never going like that's just, this is just like a permanent change for me. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to be as absolutist as I was this year regarding meat consumption. Like I think I am going to be like, you know what,

if I want some wings on occasion, or if I want some, some sushi or something, I'm going to have that. I doubt I'll ever regularly consume red meat. I may never consume red meat again. I don't see myself ever consuming pork again, or cephalopods again, your, your, your squids, your octopi, just cause like animals that have, you know, that degree of brain function. I just like, I don't, that, that to me is just not going to be fun to eat.

And, and red meat is also just like the ecological devastation of, you know, its production in addition to the animal rights issues and the agricultural labor issues, like all those things converge. So yeah, I think perhaps some meat shall I eat. But I think it's going to definitely be minimized. I definitely have, have realized how practical and achievable it is someone for someone, at least someone with a, with a little bit of, of income to be able to eat, you know, a limited amount of meat and still get a,

an ample amount of protein. Well, I got a request for you. Yeah. I want to be there for your first wings back. Can I have you, can I share some, can I share some wings with you? Maybe some ye rustic wings. It's a date. Let's make it happen.

Wow. Sus, you're not invited. Okay, good. Not interested. Sus, you're invited too. You got to come, the three of us. I'll tell you rustic to move the tables out from the booth so we can all properly fit in there.

Wow. I can't wait. Wow. It's good for you to keep it up in some way. I've eaten like pure, just a chaotic couple ends, the, a chaotic end to the month, you know, a part of the reason that I've, I've committed to, first of all, I love doing what we do, you know, we make jokes about it a lot.

Uh, I, I, I like, I love doing the podcast and I love acting. So for me to, to commit to that is, is, is big. And do you mean when you say you love acting, do you mean that in the context of acting like you're having fun while you're doing this podcast? Yeah, I guess that's kind of, that's, I mean, it's training to me in a way. You're toughest role yet. But I, I'm excited to commit to that in a way and, and also just the back and forth, you know, I, I've, it's been just a chaotic last few months being out here,

because I've been doing so much back and forth that I, uh, have never felt, uh, great in one place. So I'm excited to get back and wise we got a lot of fun stuff coming up still. This podcast ain't dead. No, this horse ain't dead. You can beat it all you want, but it's still stirring, it's still kicking around. What is this steak and shake? What is the steak and shake even exist anymore?

This is steak and shake six. There are still some shake and steak and shake locations, though under a big glory stewardship, they, they have contracted after an overly aggressive period of expansion. I think, I think things are going great for the podcast, you know? Wow. Usually I have to come in here and I got to prepare a bunch of things to kind of get this thing back on track.

Right. This time for the year end, I didn't do it. Why didn't have time too busy wasting all my time on what you just heard. The hand by something. But also, I feel like, I feel like things are going great. Mitch, you're back in LA. In addition to me getting to check out your place, we had a meal together, our first meal together in like 18 months.

I still haven't had a meal with Weigar, unfortunately, but we, we went out to this meal and then. Has Weigar seen your child? No. I've seen pictures. Hey, Mitch, did you tell the story on the podcast yet of what happened when we went out for lunch with the waitress? No, no, I did not.

No, please do. So we're, we're eating. We're at this place in LA. What's the name of it? Village bakery? Village bakery, yep. Yeah. The waitress comes up to Mitch very cautiously and she goes, excuse me.

Do you host a podcast? That's right. Wow. And, and Mitch says, yes. And then she goes, my boyfriend is a big fan and he wanted to talk to, he wanted me to talk to you, but was embarrassed to do it while he was still here. And I guess, is there also a thing about like people's girlfriends in you? Chris, his name was, his name was Christopher.

And he told his girlfriend, Cora. Cora, who we worked at Village Bakery, very pleasant, very nice. He said, would you say hi to those guys for me? We say hello to Susser and Mitch. And then he left in a very dough boys fashion. He was afraid to come up and say anything to us. And he had his girlfriend do it for us. Cora, she came and she said, hello.

I now follow on Instagram. You actually looked her up after, and you thought you already were following her? I don't, and I didn't follow her, but she was very nice. It was nice that you said that she came over to speak to both of us, but really she just came over to speak to you. And then you said, oh, well, you should tell him that I'm here with Evan Susser, and she could not have given a shit or known without who I was or anything. I mean, to be fair, she barely cared about,

her boyfriend really put her up to this. It sounds like Christopher, hold on to Cora as long as he can, because she's the fact that she came up and said hello to us was absurd. I mean, it sounds like he's holding on pretty tight if he's just hanging out at work. What is that dynamic? He was hanging out at her work until he got scared, because he saw one of the dough boys.

Cora, I gotta go. What's wrong? One of the dough boys is here. You know, in Lord of the Rings and the Two Towers, when there's like the Battle of Helms deep, and they're assembling all the soldiers, it's like all their soldiers have been thin so much that they have to recruit the regular townsfolk to don armaments

and to try to have one last stand of guarding this castle, of guarding this fort. You just think of that scenario, but it's like a bunch of dough boys fans putting on helmets and grabbing battle axes. I'm like, the orcs are coming. Sneaking out through the hole underneath the village while their girlfriends hold the door shut. My IBS is acting up. Will you take her or the orcs for us?

Will you fight the orc high for me? Can you ask Gandalf if he'll take a picture? Christopher, you fucked up. It sounds like he's doing great. It sounds like he's found a mate who cares for him, cares enough to put herself out there and introduce herself to the Spoon Man. Mate, very robotic description of you. Look, it was a good year, Sus.

We're still getting back on our legs here. We're going on tour again. That's right. The Dovid spreading tour. But why is we're going to get back on the tour next year? We're going to go on tour. That's right. We're going to record in person a few times.

That will be fun. We might, TBD. We're going to figure all that out. And you know what else we're going to do? We're going to talk about steak and shake for the sixth time. Wow. Though the steaks and shakes we're talking about are going to be a little different than usual.

What the fuck? We'll get into that right after this break. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right. Why? So I'm going to Costa Rica with the family. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Going to maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun. Going to maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. Hey, that sounds like a heck of a vacay. And you know what?

Mm-hmm. Knowing some Spanish might be helpful down there. Nice. And if you have an upcoming summer trip abroad, my go-to travel hack is Babel. Whether you're a seasoned traveler or embarking on your first adventure, communication is key to fully experiencing a new culture. That's where Babel comes in.

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Welcome back to DOEBOYS. We are talking Steak and Shake Six, kind of, with our guest, Evan Susser. Suss, how you doing? I'm good, yes. Last time we decided for Steak and Shake to not even go to Steak and Shake because we were scattered all across the country, and we said we're going to do steaks and shakes moving forward.

That's right. And then we said, well, what are we going to do this year? Wigers of vegetarian. And it was a real conundrum. I think we were originally thinking, oh, this is going to be the real triumphant. COVID is officially over, and we don't even like everything's easy now. And maybe we'd go to a big steakhouse and demand that they make us a milkshake or something. I don't know why we didn't do that.

That sounded fun. But instead, we decided to do what we're doing now, maybe next year. Well, I think what we're doing is also fun because we are talking about a plant-based alternative to Steak and Shake appropriately enough for my diet. Monty's Good Burger has five locations in SoCal. It opened in 2018, and its entire menu is plant-based, a.k.a. vegan. And according to their website's copy, their burgers require 75% to 80% less environmental resources than animal meat,

the combination of the impossible 2.0 patty that they use and the plant-based cheese and condiments and what have you. I had either of you eaten at Monty's prior to this review. I had, yes. You had, okay. I had not, and also had not even heard of it, which I was pretty surprised. What year did they start? 2018.

Okay, so I guess not. They haven't been around forever, but I was kind of surprised. They haven't been around forever. Yeah, they haven't been around forever. I think I maybe went for the first time in 2019, because I think their first location might have been in Riverside, California, which is more the Inland Empire, a little bit further out from LA. But at any rate, they have a few around the greater LA area at this point.

And I will say, I'd never used their app before. I'd always just gone in person and ordered something and eaten it there. But they have a good app. The app's not crap. It's very sleek. It's very easy to order. It's very easy to, for a place that has such a small footprint, a small number of locations, it's a better app than a lot of these bigger chains have.

So I was impressed by that, yeah. I used a website. I ordered on the website and went in there and I got my food to go. I took it right home. I had eaten in that restaurant before. Not that exact location. I went to the one in Koreatown. I think it's on Western.

Yes, that's also the one I went to. But I actually went to the one on Sunset this time, which I had never eaten at, but I picked up from. Not near from our good friend Jackie Boy, Jack's house, Jack Allison. Not trying to dox him, but he's not far from that Montes. And so I got it to go. Why? Because I can't tell you the relief when I walked in.

I didn't see Ed behind the counter. Can you explain? Ed from Good Burger? Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Okay, because it's Good Burger, yes. Because it's Montes, Good Burger. You know what the issue is that I think of this place and more as Montes, I have a Good Burger.

I think of as more of a subheading. So I didn't immediately make that connection. But unfortunately, I looked back in the kitchen and Dan Schneider was back in the kitchen back there. Oh no. Oh boy. Let me guess, the front of the house was all barefoot. No one was in there from Good Burger.

Unfortunately, it would have been fun to see Keenan. But I ordered on the app, not on the app, on the website. And to my surprise, it said ready in eight minutes. I ordered it late. It was at like 9.22 or something. And it said it would be ready at like 9.30. It was like a situation where it was just so, it was going to be ready so fast.

Maybe 9.42 to 9.50, something like that. Anyways, so I was like, oh man, the restaurant's like 12 minutes away. I got to drive down there. And the area is kind of tough to park in. But I went in and got my stuff kind of without a hitch. It was not bad. No, I've had Montes before and I will say that I enjoyed it. Yes.

So I will say that. I enjoyed Montes the first time I had it. Sus, you've never had Montes. Yet. Never had it. Your wife is a vegetarian. Yes. So if I could just talk about my experience.

So I tell my wife, Jamie, hey, I got to do this place as a vegetarian place. And she's like, I want, I need to be in on this one. So you have to figure that out. And I was like, okay. She's like, all this like dough boys stuff that you've done. Like it's a huge pain in the ass. There's finally some benefit coming my way. I want it.

But then it's like things are working out. She couldn't come because our daughter had to be home. So she had to watch her daughter. So then I was like, okay, I'll go pick it up. But it's not really close to me. The closest one was Korea town. And I also, I started like making the whole order on the phone. And then I got to like place the order and it's like ready in eight minutes.

And I was like, well, that's crazy. It's going to be like cold by the time I get there. So I, uh, I decided I, for some reason I couldn't find the app. So I just did it on the website on my phone. And I like drove and then got off the highway and then placed the order, like pulled over to the side of the road. Smart. And then placed the order there.

So that I would be there and it was like 15 minutes. Uh, I walked in to it, uh, and I was disappointed that I didn't see gauze or drawled or nice Nathan or Lomper or horse working there. Um, but these are other, of course, the course from the full Monty. Right. Uh, right. The beloved characters from the full Monty. That's what I was expecting to see.

Um, but it was, it was really nice on the inside. Did you see any character from the full Monty in the kitchen? Like a real one? Uh, just to go, just to go one to one with my story. I tuned out because I was looking at the full Monty. What was going on? Wait, hold on. Hold on.

Your story. Hold on. I got you. Uh, yeah, but luckily, luckily you stepped into the kitchen. And, uh, uh, writer Simon Bowfoy was in there. Yes, exactly. But I walked in. It was like a cool, it was a cool place, you know, had like a, like,

has like a kind of a cool fifties vibe, but like hip, not like Johnny Rock. I don't know. It just has like a cool vibe. Yes. Uh, a, but clean sterile. And then I got the food and I was very concerned because I was like, oh, it's going to be a half hour to get back and this kind of food. I just know whether vegetarian or not you got it.

So I quickly scarfed down a cheeseburger in my car because I needed to eat it hot and tried some of the fries and then drove back home to deliver to my wife and daughter. And so that we would all eat together. So that was my experience of getting. Now, did you, did you disclose this burger you scarfed down on the car? Did you tell your wife and daughter about this burger? Uh, yes. I, I did disclose to my wife, Jamie.

I said, I'm going to have to get a small cheeseburger there to have. And then I will be getting an additional cheeseburger to have at home. And Jamie actually is pretty understanding cause she said, uh, you know, look, it's like, but she, you know, it's a real thing that like it's going to taste better. Right. Getting it like warm than driving it. So she was understanding, but my daughter, uh, was ashamed. Uh, and she said, this is pathetic.

And I guess, and then she like got on, uh, she's really good with the iPad. Uh, and she was like Googling like new families and stuff like that. But, uh, but I just, I just, I also just want to say that for the year end episode, I'm so happy that you upgraded your audio. Yes. I got a Yeti microphone. Yeah. Uh, it doesn't, it doesn't sound like you're, uh, broadcasting from a submarine.

Good. Instead it just sounds like you're broadcasting from a ship far out in the ocean where, uh, yes, there's constant crackles. Are there crackles? It's, it's a little broken up. Yes. You sound like shit. What's going on right now?

Are you, are you, are you streaming HD video at the same time? Yes. I am streaming the full Monty. Got it. You got the full Monty streaming over your 56 K modem connection. Uh huh. So when you, when you, when you were pulling, when you were pulling cast list names, it was from the actual cast list at the end of the movie.

You've fast forwarded. You're watching the credits. Uh, but my daughter was very excited to see all the food. It was a great spread. Sus, you showed us the spread. You had a good spread of food. Very, very good pictures, uh, uh, set of pictures you took of all the food you got. I've been to Monty's Good Burger a number of times.

Actually like, I mean, I like this place a lot and it's, it's been great this year. If I just want that particular sort of, you know, trashy sort of fast food meal. I mean, it, it does it as the, but basically the highest praise I can give for it is it, is it, is it makes me not miss in and out burger. Like I'm just like, I can get some, a simulacrum of my beloved in and out, even though it's not exactly in and out, in and out concept. It's more of a, more akin to a Shake Shack burger. Or a, not a steak, a steak and shake burger,

although that's what we're using a substitute for. It, it, it definitely like represents that and particularly the fries do. So they have their maxed out fries and they also have maxed out tots, or you can do what I do and get the maxed out fries and tots 50-50, which is very much like the in and out animal style fries. The famous bad fries from in and out, they are similar to those fries. The animal, hold on, hold on. The animal fries are their own thing.

The animal fries have spread and grilled onions and cheese on them. And this is what they're attempting to emulate. I went tots, Wags. I'm usually a fry man, but I, I went tots because I did think the fries would be too cold. And I, and I knew that they had good tots there. So I went tots. Um, I got myself the double cheeseburger from Monty's. I did the double cheese.

And I also got myself the new chicken sandwich, Wags. I don't know if you'd seen this chicken sandwich. I did get this Charlie's chicken sandwich and the Ian chicken. The Ian chicken is a schwa. It's a backwards E. Yeah. Why? I don't know.

Why is that? I, it's, I mean, it's not technically chicken. So they've, they've either got to do like the, you know, some, some brands do like the C-H-I-K-I-N, you know, it's like it's a chicken, but it's not actually chicken. This one, they use a schwa instead of the E. Didn't know schwa. So thank you for that.

Schwa, the backwards E, schwa. Backwards E. Um, I, uh, M&M used a schwa. Didn't he, didn't he put E backwards sometimes? He did. Yeah. Yeah. But although I don't think that was how it was pronounced.

We, we, I think kind of the sound. We were looking at a schwa the whole time. We didn't, we had no idea. We didn't know. I got the chicken sandwich. Like I said, I got tater tots. I got some dipping sauces. And I also got myself a strawberry lemonade,

this strawberry sparkling lemonade. Wow. How was that? I saw that. I thought about it. You know what? It was good. It was really good.

I'm sorry, Sus. It was, it was, it was, it was fantastic. So I got myself that's that sparkling strawberry lemonade, which Sus should have got. I got free mustard. They give you free mustard, free ketchup. And then I ordered a few dipping sauces. I got an onion aioli dipping sauce.

I got a house spread dipping sauce, which comes on the burger. I got a sriracha aioli. And then I got my, my tater tots with ranch. Yes. And then I, like I said, I got the, the double cheeseburger and a Charlie's chicken sandwich. And you know, I got myself a shake too.

Yes. All their sauces, all their dipping sauces are an extra dollar. So, you know, you're, you're paying a little bit of a premium. You do get a decent size, a little jacuzzi sauce, but it is, you know, it, it's, it's pricey. And that's a thing you should keep in mind for your order. That said, the, the, the sauces, the sriracha aioli, the ranch, the house spread, the bbq, the onion aioli and the habanero,

they're, they're by and large good. It's just a matter of like figuring out what fits your particular taste buds. Mm hmm. Sus, well, what, what did, well, can you give us a breakdown on what you got? Sure. So, I got one, a single cheeseburger to scarf in the car,

then another one for my wife, then a double cheeseburger for when I got back. Then I got the, the Charlie chicken sandwich. Then I got a plain hamburger for my daughter. Then I got the kale Caesar tots to try those. Then I got the maxed out fries and tots. Then I got one cookie shake. Uh, that was my daughter's request,

which was a vanilla cookie with the chocolate middle of the brownie cookie. That can also got the, um, harvest spice pumpkin shake to try that. I also, uh, exceeded my double boys meal allowance, uh, I've been making this order. So just a heads up on that. But okay, we'll talk about that off pod. We're, we're, we're, we're gonna need a breakdown

about your wife and daughter, a, a dirt for the meal. And then we're gonna like break. Yeah. Then we'll subtract that from the final total. So, uh, and then I, you know what? I have to guess, for someone who's scarfed a cheeseburger in the car, I'm going to guess that you probably still went over. So, and then I got to say, I did order, uh, sore, sonoran cowboy cookie did not come.

Wasn't included in the order. I think it's a sonoran cowboy cookie. I think the way I said it is right. Like a Star Wars planet, sonoran. So that was, that was the order. Wow. Good order. And I, I, I messed up not getting, I did get the spread sauce,

but that all came on the burger. And I guess I messed up. I didn't really think that the sauces were something that I should pay attention to. And hearing you say all those sauces, I feel like I messed up. There's, there's some quality sauces. I would say always budget for a sauce or two. If you're going to go, you're going to hit up the Montes.

I will say though that Montes is expensive. I mean, uh, it is pricey. No, for sure. I, I, I came in over the, we, we allot ourselves about $50. And my, and my total, that's before tip came to 59 and 78. So it was, uh, it was fucking expensive. Uh, cause, cause, but look, it's specific. What you're getting here is, is, is, you know, you're getting vegan food.

That's supposed to taste like these, like in and out burger wise, like these, uh, these like shaken burger spots. And to the most part, I think it works. I'm interested in hearing what Sus says. I, by the way, I got, I got a Montes. Oh yeah, Oreo style, Oreo style shake. That was my, that was my, uh, shake. Um, I was nervous about travel just because, because I had the, the, the time I

didn't remember before I was in the restaurant. I don't know what my strategy was is I scarfed a cheeseburger in the car. I don't know if I've mentioned that. No, you know, we heard that. Yeah, I think you need to get into that. Yeah. And okay, to see how it would be. Got it.

Got it. Yeah. Um, so, so your wife, Jamie, who is a vegetarian, she didn't get to scar for burger. What were her? She didn't get to scar. So I thought this was going to be a home run. Sus, did you, did you scarf a burger for Jamie in the car? Like, did you do a thing where you scarfed?

Yeah, I did one for me, one for her to tell her. One for your daughter? Yeah. So I thought this was going to be like a home run for her because, you know, she, you know, as a vegetarian, she kind of can't get this kind of stuff. She is a fan of the Burger King impossible whopper. Um, and so I was like, Oh, this will be great. And so she took a bite of the burger and her first reaction, which I do kind of agree with

was it's a lot of sauce on that burger. And it's pretty saucy. And I kind of felt too, like that's kind of otherwise, like it really is like, wow, it tastes like a burger, but there's something probably because of the vegan thing. The sauce doesn't taste exactly like what they're going for. Like McDonald's, like special sauce. It does taste a little different or something. Sure.

It kind of like stuck out in that way. Then, uh, we shared the chicken sandwich, uh, and she took a bite of it and ran to the trash to spit it out. Wow. Oh boy. What a bother. Which I was shocked. Oh boy.

And I even, I reheated that at home too. So I thought it tasted better, but I mean, again, what's interesting, you know, unlike Wager, she's been a vegetarian basically her whole life. So things like fried chicken, she doesn't have like, oh, I just wish I could have that. So it was even like, what even is this? Like this is like, even the concept of like a fried chicken sandwich, I think kind of sounds a little gross to her because it's like, it's like such a big thick piece of

chicken and then it's fried and then in bread. Like she just wasn't getting what was so good about that. Yeah, I get it. Now the fries and the tots and all that stuff were all good. I think everyone, like that was, my daughter was very excited about all of that kind of stuff. The burger she just was not interested in, but that kind of is normal. It's like she didn't even want it. She was like, I'll eat this instead.

Then just like took all the fries. And then the milkshake, the cookie milkshake was a home run. That was the cookie milkshake. It's interesting. They like have pieces of cookie in the milkshake, but then I also give you like some of the cookie on the side and eating the cookie on its own did not taste great. It kind of tasted like cardboardy. But mixed with the shake.

I think we also love this cookie shake was really good. And it felt a little lighter because it's non-dairy. That was probably our sip of the trip, as I say. Wow. And then we also had the, we tried the pumpkin spice shake, which was gross. And we threw that away. That sounded gross. I'm surprised you got it.

It just, it sounded gross. And just, you know, the seasonal thing. Yeah, it just seemed disgusting. I'm interested here in Mitch's thoughts on the, the Charlie's chicken sandwich. Cause here's the thing I will say. I ordered on the app and I got, I picked it up and then I ate it there. So the, there is recently opened, I ate it there. There's a recently opened Montes Good Burger in, yeah, in the restaurant on site.

Cause what I did is I just took it into my car and scarfed a burger in the car. That's right. You scarfed a burger there and then you took the rest home. That's not what I did. I ate my entire order there. And there's a recently opened Montes Good Burger that I can walk to. Is that like a rare, rare thing for you to like scarf a burger in the car? Like it's, it's a great question.

Cause you keep making a point of it. So I'm like, oh, is this like something that like, uh, that he doesn't do too often? Is he not scarfing burgers too often in this car? Um, anyway, what were we taking like? One time we were, I don't remember what the context of it was. I think I was, uh, but I was going over to our friend, uh, our friend, Justin Donaldson, um, his old, uh, there was an old, his old apartment and I went there and I picked up Jack in the box on the way and I was, I got there and I was like, I don't want to bring

this in. So I just ate it in my car parked outside his house and another, uh, another friend of ours, uh, our friend Tim Sicardo, like just coincidentally just saw me just sitting in this, in a, in a park car eating Jack in the box. Sicardo ain't been right since then. He, yeah, he like texted me afterwards like, Hey man, is everything okay? Anyway, um, the, so I'm guessing you were going over there for like a sketch cram or something? Maybe, but it's too early to have a burger. Yeah, I don't know. It was at night. It was at night, so it wouldn't have been a sketch cram.

Um, it was maybe some UCB bullshit. Anyway, so we were, so, uh, here's my, my thought on the Charlie chicken sandwich. I ate it there. I ordered on the app. I picked it up and then I ate it outside, um, at one of their tables and the texture of it, like the fry, I feel like their fryer work is very, very good there. I think they always have great, great, uh, you know, great fries, uh, great tots and that extended to the plant-based chicken patty. The actual chicken meat itself, and I couldn't get it, I can't get any clarity. I've been looking around trying to figure out what the chicken sandwich, like where that source from, it doesn't credit a brand. I can't, as far as I can tell,

chicken with a schwa isn't like an existing, you know, product. So maybe it's their own house formulation, uh, of, of, of tofu or something else. Um, I feel like the actual chicken meat is not particularly flavorful and the texture is a little too mushy, but the fry on it, like the crispy fry, uh, and it might just, just be contingent on getting it fresh. I thought it was very, very good. So if you had some, some sauce on it, maybe some extra sauce to dip it in to kind of cover it up, you could, you could absolutely simulate that texture, uh, and then just try to see past the actual chicken aspect of it as much as possible. But it's, it's does not, it certainly doesn't hit in the same way the burger does. Mitch, what did you think of that chicken with a schwa

sandwich? I thought the, I thought the chicken sandwich wise, you kind of nailed it. I thought the fry was good. Yeah. But my complaint would be that it is too, it's too thick, like a thin that thing out a little bit because like, to me, the thing about Montes is it tricks you and look, there's a lot of vegetarian and vegan people who don't like this. Like Sus, you were saying with Jamie, like it's that sort of thing of like, Hey, I am a vegetarian. I don't care about eating food. Like I, you don't have to make some simulacrum. Yes. Of, of, of, of this, of this, of a shaken burger stand. I like my own food, you know, uh, so, so to me, I like that because I'm eating, I'm eating stuff that's, that usually is high calories, makes you feel like shit, but it's this vegan version

of it makes you feel a little bit better. You don't feel as bad about eating it. Um, the chicken, when I eat that Montes double cheeseburger, it's a home run because I don't, I don't feel like it's, there's like times where it's like, I, like the bun is a little strange because it's a vegan bun. Uh, it's a potato bun, I believe. And like there's moments where I'm like fighting into a big, thick thing. And I'm like, Oh, there's like no beef in here, but so rarely, because it's just, they just do a good job with it with the chicken sandwich. I was like, Oh, I'm eating like a vegetarian or a vegan chicken sandwich. And I think a lot of that was because of the, the thickness of the patty, especially when you get towards the end of the

sandwich and like the bread is dwindling down and just a big thick chunk of kind of mushy chicken left and, and, and, and you've kind of gotten over that fry. Um, then it, then it does, it's not as good. So to me, it was, it's like, okay, but it's not a home run like their burgers are home runs. I think the burgers are fully agree. Yeah. Yeah. I would have no, like honestly, I'm glad I tried it, but it's not going to change my go to my, my go to has always been their, their double cheeseburger, or at least for as long as they've been in operation, which I, which I agree with you does is quite good. I also, I mentioned, I got the maxed out fries and tots, which is the, uh, it's, it's, it's the, it's half fries, half tots with follow your

heart cheese, uh, their vegan cheese, grilled onions and house spread. Um, and, uh, plant-based gluten free. I think these are great. I love their maxed out fries. I, I, and I think their, their tots are really good as, as well. I think, I'm not sure if I get the 50 50 again, just because I almost feel like it's more satisfying to get all of them and the bites that had both. I feel like we're just like a little bit, uh, imbalanced. Yeah. The ones that the, the bites that were both taught and fry were just like a little, uh, like imbalanced. Like I'd rather just have all or the other. Um, I found myself subdividing them as per bite, uh, but it, it was a nice option and, um, and I, and I love them with the spread and the onions and that, and that fake cheese. I mean,

I think that it just, it just absolutely simulates the, the, the now animal fry, which I love. Their fake cheese is great because it really does like melt in that right way, which is really impressive. Um, I thought that, yeah, maxed out fries and tots were really good. I also got the kale Caesar tots, which just kind of seemed like an interesting thing, which was great, which is, was a really, you know, I don't know why, uh, like it kind of just is what it sounds like. Basically kale with like Caesar dressing with tots mixed in and kind of like hard to figure out, like, do you scoop it with your hands? Do you eat it with like a fork? So I scooped it with my hands, but, um, in the car? Yeah. Well, yeah. While I was carving the burger, I was eating it in the car

while driving. Um, but, uh, but I thought those were really good. And Jamie, yeah, Jamie agreed with that too. Um, I really like the tots. I think the tots are, are, are great. And I'll say this, that they give you, they give you a lot of tots. Uh, they're, they're, they're, they're, you got, you get a lot of tots. If you, if you, if you like tots, you, you get a lot of them. So they're not skipping on the taters for sure. I got a, so as far as my dipping sauces, so I got the sriracha aioli and the habanero sauce, you know, I am something of a heat seeker. The habanero sauce, I was like, kind of just hot and I still liked it, but it didn't, but I felt like the sriracha aioli just added more in terms of flavor, even though though I'm

also like, kind of over sriracha. So I'm not sure what the right solution is for someone who wants a little bit of spice there. Uh, you know, maybe it would be nice if you could get some chopped chilies on your burger or, or what have you, but I, I guess it's, uh, I guess they're both okay. I guess if you just want pure heat, the habanero is probably the way to go. And I also got a, uh, one of their plant-based shakes, uh, and, uh, I got their Chamberlain coffee shake. Oh, so these use, these use oat milk and yeah, this was their coffee one, which was more of like a vanilla soft, it was like more of a vanilla sort of, uh, you know, soft serve mixture with like coffee grounds within it. I thought it was delicious. And I think the thing that,

that maybe their most impressive magic trick is the dessert side of their menu, because, you know, all their non-dairy, uh, shakes are just like so, so flavorful. I've never had a bad experience with one of those. I've never had one that tastes too artificial, too sciency, if you will. They all, they all are just like, do a great job of, uh, uh, of approximating an existing shake. So yeah, I really enjoyed them. Now I'll get, I'll give you, I'll give you my sauce rundown, but at first I want to say I love that sparkling strawberry lemonade, but what are you laughing at the sauce rundown? What's going on? There's a chat on the StreamYard app, which we use for our broadcast, and Susser made a little joke in the chat, and I was laughing at the chat joke.

Sorry, this isn't, this isn't good for the podcast, so we can't share it. Not inappropriate. It's just too inside. It was good. Um, look, I, it was making fun of UCB. Look, I love that strawberry, the sparkling strawberry lemonade. I, I think that the shakes, to me, I haven't had the shakes often. So that Oreo, the, uh, the, what was it called specifically the, oh yeah, Montes, the, uh, Montes, oh yeah, Oreo style shake. When I was sipping, I was like, this is damn good. I went back to it and sipped it a couple more times and I definitely got like an oat milk taste, um, which is, which is the base of it. Sure. So you use, you use oat milk, but it is very like, it is definitely a magic trick that

there's these kind of thick frosty shit, uh, frosty chocolate milkshakes, whys that are, I would trick Homer himself. Bart, get ahold of this. Homer, how's your health doing? Good. I've been eating at Montes. Moe, did you know that they're vegan? Oh, how about that? You know, I've been thinking about having some vegan offerings here at the bar. Well, you know, it's good for Sundays when you can't eat meat or a good Friday. Right. When it's summer, we'll fry, we are both Christian. That's a big part of the early Simpsons

is that we are churchgoers. That's right, Moe. Hey, I'll see you there Sunday. I'll see you there as well. Hopefully Barney can come. That's the end of the episode. That was an entire act. It is, it, it, it is a magic trick. I just, I would get that oat milk taste and I wonder like, I want to try a chocolate, I want to try more because I think it's more impressive than that chicken sandwich, but that for sure to me is still, is still just really impressive. So,

again, I like the tots. I love the double cheeseburger. I didn't even really get into the double cheeseburger, but it's, it's the reason you go there. It's fantastic. Yeah. I love that the, the, the sparkling strawberry. Here's my sauce run down here. And wise, you're going to think I'm a sauce boss after this because I got, I got the onion aioli, the house spread, the sriracha aioli. And then my tots came with ranch and I got some free ketchup, free mustard. For me, I liked that sriracha aioli a lot. That's probably maybe in my second spot. Onion aioli maybe takes third. It was still pretty good, but they do a damn good

ranch there. Their ranch is great. The ranch is really good. And I was trying to figure out what the sauce was because I didn't, I forgot what I had ordered. I was like, what is this second white sauce? I was trying to figure out what the second white sauce was. And it was, and it was fucking ranch. I got a question. What was the first one? The first one was in my house when I came back with the Montes and I didn't touch it. It had a dough boys action figure and it was in a jar and I fill it up. I fill the jar up. Christ. That's the thing people do, you know. Anyways, not dough boys actually.

What is, what is the thing people do? They put a toy, they put like an action figure in a jar and then they fill it up with a, and then they fill it up. That's all. I won't get more specific. It's a tribute. It's a respectful tribute. You didn't know this sauce? No. Why? Because you know it. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I live it.

What do you think I have all these Funkos? Which Funkos are you filling it up with? The golden girls. Strange, strange. Stranger things. Stranger things kids. Anyways, the sauces were great. Hey, you think that's dirty. You should have seen that joke you made on that private chat.

So the sauces were all good. The tots were good. Like I said, the shake is not as good of, but I still enjoyed it, but, but not as much as I, I want to try more flavors when I'm there. Chicken sandwich wigs, kind of the loser of the meal, but my bite of the night is that double cheeseburger. Just a really, just a really fantastic. The tots, not far behind the tots are really good, but that double cheeseburger star of the show, sip of the trip, that sparkling lemonade, strawberry lemonade also good. But I got to say from me, a man who likes meat, I like my meat, a pretty good outing by Montes. Montes, which maybe has a dog theme.

There is a dog theme. There's a dog, and then there's like dog dishes outside the restaurant, which I, that's actually, when I got out, I, Sussie, I know you scarfed one in the car. I put one of my burgers down in the dog dish. I scarfed it out of there before I left. Got on all fours. I think it's dog, I think it's a dog friendly restaurant or something. I don't know what the deal is, but. Well, there, that dog is a big part of their signage. I believe that is Monty himself. I believe the, I believe Monty the mascot is an actual dog. And yeah, he's present on their signage. There's a lot of just Monty, you know, logos throughout. And yeah, so I think that kind of talks, and then Monty is like, or at least the dog, I believe it's Monty,

factors in on a lot of their merch, which they do sell a lot of. You can get, you can get yourself a trucker hat or a pen or a hoodie, what have you with Monty's face or just the burger shop's logo. Reminds me of my good boss, Monty Burns. He liked Monty Burns. He's tough, but fair. Season one homer, just a docile worker. I think the, I want to say that I went back to Monty's, you know, this is a place Natalie and I will go to with, we'll have a little date night and share some plant-based burgers and fries and have ourselves a nice little meal. I went back there

this morning. Think about what a snooze that is for Natalie. She's getting through it. She's waiting for the reaper at this point. Set her free. This guy has burgers. I went back this morning after the phone call I was going to and forgot about, yeah. How often a night are you welcome to Natalie praying like Jenny in Forest Gump to turn

into a bird so she can fly, fly far away? Twice a night. So I went back this morning and I got myself, I was like, I'm just going to get a, because you can indulge there. We were saying very indulgent meals, even though it's plant-based, loaded with carbs, loaded with sugar if you're getting yourself a shake. And I was like, I'm going to have a healthy meal there. And I got their Kale Caesar salad, which is just, you know, Kale housemaid Caesar dressing that you can add a patty to. So I added myself a patty with cheese and onions. So I kind of had like a burger salad

as kind of a low carb sort of meal, the kind of thing that I would maybe get from a place like the counter, which is a, which is another burger chain. And I thought it was great. I was like, this was fantastic. I got myself an onion aioli, which I used on the burger. That's my favorite of their sauces. I feel like the onion aioli is their money sauce, but their ranch is good as well. Yeah. But I threw that onion aioli on there, on the burger, and then that also mixed well with the dressing. There's an ample amount of dressing. It was filling for just a salad and patty. And, you know, you can get an Arnold Palmer there or, or, you know, as I call it, the Nick Weiger, which is a sparkling lemonade and, and iced tea. And you can get it without

sweetener if you want to save on carbs, which I actually like because, hey, I like an Arnold Palmer, but do you know what? You just kind of get a little, it's like a very lemony iced tea. They're unsweetened Arnold Palmer. So I, I like having that as an option. Yeah. I mean, I, I just had, I just had two, two pretty great meals. The chicken sandwich, I agree, Mitch, was the, was the low point, was the nadir of the meal. But overall, a couple of good experiences and have a good experience every time I go there. Susser, is there any of your food we didn't get to? Ralph Nadir? What are you talking about? Ralph Nadir. Yeah. Consumer advocate. Oh, the, oh, the nadir, the nadir, the, the, how do you say it?

So here's the thing. This is one of those things where the, the pedants who listen to the podcast get on me for my pronunciation. I always thought it was Nadir having read it and not said it aloud, but people are like, no, it's actually nadir, like Ralph Nadir. Now I don't know if they're having a laugh, but it's apparently like N-A-D-I-R is like Ralph Nadir. That's not supposed to be pronounced. You know what I realized? End of forest gump, a feather flying through the air is that this represent Jenny flying away as a bird? Wow. I never connected those dots. You get a little friend of the podcast, Haley Joel Osment in for, at the end of forest gum too. One of his early roles, great performance. They got to do gum too. I, I, the, the, I'm just, I'm just, I was just

putting that together. I'd never thought about that before. Suss, is that what that means? Is that represent the bird flying away? It might. I was just thinking about gum too. And just like what come, gum would be up to in 2020 and 2021. Yeah. We talked about that before. Yeah. Yeah. I met a nice Viking man that day. Then I took a dump in Nancy Pelosi's desk drawer. Capitol police shooting a rubber bullet. Somebody bit me. Gum too. I would, I would love to see gum too. Now I'm wondering if there's an alternate cut where Jenny does turn into a bird. Have you heard? Like, is there a way? Yeah, it flies away. Yeah, like, like for us kind of like what's out and you kind of don't know if she turned into a bird or not.

Right. But then you see the feather and then you see the first shot and you see she is a bird. That's what I'm thinking, Suss. That's good. Why don't we get Zemeckis on the pod and talk about all the stuff with him? I would love to have Zemeckis. I would love to chop shop with Bob Zemeckis. He probably wants to do it, right? I'm sure he'd want to do it. All Marwin questions. We're just talking Marwin. You had Apatow on. Why not Zemeckis? It's true. Was Apatow here doing research for a script? Yeah, the 40 year old Virgin's plural. Yep, that was it. I'm glad you made the punchline. Okay, so anyway, I was going to say he was working on a new a sequel, Unfunny People, but I think yeah, that was also fun. That was also. Or this is 50 for Wags.

So, yeah, the Double Cheeseburger, which I didn't talk about in distinction put to the Single Cheeseburger, which I don't know. Honestly, I think that. So the Double Cheeseburger, by the way, you didn't scarf. You ate this slowly in a home, correct? Yeah. On normal pace? I don't know. It maybe was because I already had eaten the whole entire Cheeseburger. I was kind of full, so I didn't even finish it. Wow. I didn't think that. I don't know if, honestly, the proportions, I think the proportions are maybe better with the Single Cheeseburger. And then the bun, which you said you didn't like. I actually did the bun. It obviously is not the same as a traditional fast food bun, but I thought it's something

interesting and good, and I liked it. Hold on. I will say that other versions of a vegan bun, I've had much worse things. I mean, I think all I do like the bun. What I'm commenting is when you get, there's a point where I got to the middle of the burger and had two sides of a bun and a two Double Cheeseburger, and I thought that this isn't meat. That's the only time. For the most part, when I'm eating that, I'm like, this is meat. I'm eating a Double Cheeseburger. And there is just a point where it becomes so thick, and it just has a very specific mouth feel that's very soft that I thought that I was not eating beef. Anyways, not that beef is hard. You get it. Go on. I get what you're saying.

Oh, that was that. I just thought it was good. All right. Yeah, it's very good. I believe our recent guest and our friend, Eric Edelstein, was saying that he uses the single as like a, if he wants to trick someone with the fake burger, if he wants to pull that sort of, like that proportion he thinks works a little bit better. I do like their Double. I think their Double is my go-to, but I understand that argument. But we should get to our final thoughts on Monty's Good Burger. So, Susser, you're a veteran of the podcast, having done six Steak and Shake episodes now. Eric wanted to get Monty's with me the night of, and now we're doing Monty's. It feels like a

betrayal. Well, we're going to go to Red Robin with Eric, so it's fine. But still, he's a huge fan of this place. Yeah, Suss. So yeah, Suss, your thoughts, your fork score. Okay, so it's tough. So I took the first bite of the Cheeseburger, the one that I started my car, and I thought, okay, this is a home run. This is great. This is, tastes really good. I liked it. I had some fries. I said, this is definitely in, like, the four fork arena, especially for that, like, you know, metric of what it's trying to do. Also, I mean, this is like, if you go on the website, it's like, almost a parody of like a progressive kind of restaurant where they have all sorts of environmental, you know, initiatives and I'm pretty sure edit this out of this wrong. I think

they're committed to paying a living wage and all of this other kind of good, you know, stuff. So I've inclined to like this place. But then my wife, who is vegetarian, was not as hot on it and said that now granted, I guess, an impossible whopper has real, has real cheese. So but she said she would actually prefer an impossible whopper. Wow, Monty's burger. So that was interesting. And then I will say now granted, he maybe was because I ate way too much of this food. I felt terrible afterwards. As did Jamie, who ate much more reasonable portions. Wow. So that really factors into it. I asked Jamie for her fork stork or and she said maybe three at most, which I was shot. Man, man, I can't believe that. I can't believe you felt sick after, I mean, all you did was

scarf a burger in your car, and then go home and eat another a whole other meal. I know it's crazy. But so I think, and I wonder where I'll be, I wonder if I'm still being too generous or if I'm going to be the one like, you know, taking this one down. But I think I got to go to three forks, three times. Well, three forks, three times. Wow. Still a good score. Let's end this bummer year on a bummer note. Wives, I will say this. I will say this wise, I did give you, wait, sorry, sorry, you just got really distorted. Is anyone else hearing that? No. No, it's kind of obnoxious, Mitch, though. That's kind of obnoxious

that your sound's not good. Can you hear me now? It's kind of, it's kind of shitty, Mitch. It's kind of shitty. It's probably so. It's kind of. This might be on my end, because everything I'm hearing is super distorted now, except for my. No, it's kind of obnoxious, Liger. Okay. Here, I'm going to leave the call. I'll return. Okay. Oh boy. Well, let's vamp for a moment. How are you doing, Toss? What are some other birthday boy sketches you could tell me about? Some of my birthday boy sketches. Oh, do you talk about the skeleton one? Okay. Yes. It's a funeral where an old, like where you were eulogizing, where you eulogize. Oh my God, eulogizing an old man, Jesus. And then it was revealed that he farted his skeleton out of

his body is the reason that he died. Yeah. He ate hummus that was too spicy. He farted his skeleton out of. So, and everyone just kept, you know, it's revealed. Everyone talks about, you know, everyone is saying like he farted his skeleton out of his body. A lot of fun. It was a sketchgram sketch. What else? What else? What's the hum alone one? Well, there's a couple of them. The one that Chris did, Vian Arts Dillon, where he was, where he played home alone on a TV as a delivery man. He had a TV with him and he played, he played the delivery man's lines from home alone. And I forget the whole setup of it. Maybe, I mean, Weiger remembers the sketches better than I do. Then there was also Frog Pope, which never got made.

Let's hear about Frog Pope. All right. So, Frog Pope was, we're at the, what's the Pope residence there? The Vatican? We're at the Vatican. I visited the Vatican like two years ago. But you need to rely on your Jew friend to tell you. I was trying to think specifically of the place where the smoke comes out, whatever that, the, what is it? Is it, it's not the Sistine Chapel. I don't know what it is, whatever. And the smoke comes out as black and oh boy, it's smoke is black and it comes out as white. Oh, the smoke is white. And the smoke is green. And then it cuts. Oh, it's a Frog Pope.

And then it cuts to the balcony. Hold on a second. And coming out wearing a little Pope hat and a robe is a frog hops out. Yeah. Hold on a second. How do you think this episode stacks up compared to my other second shake appearances, Mitch? I mean, you seemed unhappy to be here. It's been a long day, probably not a good thing to stack up two other recording things with a big year-end episode. You know, that's, that is an issue. Should we do them all again and just re-record the whole thing? I mean, we probably should just re-record this episode at a later date. It just hasn't been working out. Sus, why, Sus and I have decided that we're going to re-record this episode.

Okay, that makes sense. I mean, it's been pretty bad. Yeah, it's been a rough one. Are you fixed, Wags? I should be good audio wise. By the way, the, I sound a little different here in my cans, but I can roll with it, but I was going to say the, to Sus's point earlier, the good and good, I'm reading this from the Monty's Good Burger website. The good and good burger means much more than taste to us. We strive to sensibly source our ingredients, use only compostable serving products, provide our staff a living wage. The signage in the store indicated a $15

per hour starting rate, which you could argue is not quite a living wage in Los Angeles. A safe work environment and savings and insurance options, whatever that means. But the weird thing is, is that this is, this is like a, there's like a bubble around this stuff and it's coming out of the dog's mouth. So it's like, we're supposed to believe that this dog is talking? Yeah, I think that's, you have to suspend your disbelief a little bit and be like, okay, the dog is the president of the company. The dog is the president of the company here.

Yeah. That's part of fun. You know what? That dog makes more sense than some of the people over in DC, if you catch my drift. Thank you. Yeah. Why isn't that, how about that dog could be the president of our country? Maybe wait, maybe we should run him in 2024. How old is Biden? If you put him in, if you divided him into dog years, how old is he? In a dog years? He's like still 50? I think he's, I think he's, I think he's like 1178.

Oh, wow. Oh, you multiply by seven. Yeah. I was dividing by fucking his oldest time. Wags, I'm going to get into my score right now, but I saw you last night for no meat. What did you, oh, you had an omelet last night, no meat, shall you eat? I had a veggie lasagna, but I could see how it looks like an omelet from your vantage point. From my end of the table, it looks like a lasagna. How was it? Well, you know, it was the two of us, we were hanging, we were there and then our, our friends at the show, Jordan Morris and Matt Koalik were seated between us.

So your angle was a little obscured. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Koalik got a big cheese wheel. They put it in his case. He was spinning, he was running on a spinning wheel too and then. Running really fast. Yeah. A lot of energy. Wags, I gave you a dessert there and I'd like you to address the dessert in your closing comments. Did you have it yet? I didn't have it yet, but you know what?

I can have it during my closing comments. All right. Good. Yeah. You should eat it. Okay. I'll be right back. No meat, shall wags eat in 2021. And so for our final meal, we did what wags did. And we, you know, we did exactly what wags wanted to. We recorded all day. We had a call early in the morning, not early in the morning, 1030, whatever. And, and we recorded all day and here we are. How do I feel about it? Not great. And how do I feel about the meal? Pretty good. You know, things have come a long way.

I remember when I was, when I first moved to LA, I lived at the Oakwood apartments. This is for the, the Ithaca college program. I closed out my, my Ithaca, my Ithaca studies with the, with a trip to Los Angeles for my last three. Were you writing like, were you writing any movies or something for your college program? At that time? This is, this is actually after College Bound Pimp. If that's what you were, if that's what you're trying to imply, you were wondering. Could you, could you describe the plot of that?

No. I won't describe the plot of College Bound Pimp. I went to, I went to Los Angeles, a young man, you know, a lot of things new to me in the world. You know, I hadn't experienced a lot at this point. And one thing I hadn't experienced is vegan food, really. I mean, I had been in, I had been in Ithaca, New York, which is, you know, it has one of the best vegan restaurants, Moose Woods, one of the, one of the, one of the best vegan restaurants in the world up in Ithaca. But I guess it's a vegetarian. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's 100% vegan.

But I had rarely eaten vegan stuff. And I, so I moved into Oak Woods, Eric, Eric Berg, uh, my roommate and, um, and Raphael Goldbergstein was my other roommate. Raffy Goldbergstein. Raffy was, Raffy, my kind of guy, that second guy. Raphael Goldbergstein was a, was a vegetarian or a vegan at the time. And we went down to like the new hit vegan restaurant and I ate it. And you know what? I wasn't an asshole about it. I wasn't one of those people like, oh, this sucks. Like, uh, we talked about with the, uh, Eric Edelstein episode. Um, I, I wasn't, I wasn't a dick about that stuff. I, I, I was genuinely interested in trying it.

And it was quite bad. I did not like it at all. Like I thought it was trying too hard to beat. It was like a barbecue, bacon burger, and it just tasted really weird and sweet. And I disliked it. And I will say that vegan food has come a long way in that time. I think Monty's is like fantastic. It's, it's, it's pulling off what it's trying to do almost to the tee. It's like we're trying to make a shaken burger stand that's made with all vegan ingredients. And it tricks people into thinking that they're eating an actual state, double cheeseburger and a shake and drinking a shake. And I think for the most part, it really pulls it out. Um, I like the things that the company stands for.

I, it's a place I'm not going to go too often, but for what it's trying to do, in this horrible year, I'm ending on a good score. I'm going to give it five forks. Honestly, like, uh, like, for what it's trying to do. Yeah. Like I was enjoying myself with this meal. Like I almost want to go four and a half forks, but I mean, sus already ruined the scoring. It's done anyways, but I'll go, I'm going to go five forks. Five forks is my, is my final score. Good boy. Monty's a good boy. Monty's is a good boy. I think it is. I think that's a, that's a great way to characterize it, Mitch, because that is the thesis of the podcast after all. How is this place succeeding at what

it's trying to do? And this place is a plant-based alternative to fast food shops for the entire menu, uh, to, to, to burger stands, to, to your, to the steak and shakes of the world. And I think it absolutely succeeds on that. I mean, this is a place I go to. This is a place I'll continue to go to, even if I reincorporate some meat into my diet, because although it is a little pricey, it absolutely delivers the same thing that I want when I go, when I go get a big indulgent fast food meal, except that it's, you know, not actually, doesn't actually use meat and dairy. Um, so from that standpoint, I mean, I have, I have a great time every time I go here. I think the, the service is always very, very good. I think the atmosphere is, is very cute.

I like all, I like the, the dog and the signage. It's a very cute doggy. And then I also like the, you know, just, just the, just the interior design of the place and it's whole aesthetic, I think is, is working for me. So yeah, I'll be in the handholding club with you. Five forks for Montes Goodberg. Wow. Um, I think, I think again, this place is, from my perspective, and I totally understand that, that, that Jamie is a longtime vegetarian. A lot of longtime vegetarians say the same thing to us. They write into us. They let us know. They're like, they're like, you know, hey, I don't like the fake meat. I hate, I, it doesn't work for me. I actually find it kind of gross and putrid. And that's because you don't have a taste for meat.

But someone like me who is a convert who is maybe craving ground beef, maybe craving a, a, a slab of, of 80, 20 chuck, uh, covered with a slice of American cheese that I can get a plant-based alternative for this. And it will basically accomplish the exact same thing, uh, in my mouth. I'm, to me, again, that's, that's, that's a little miracle. Um, I'm Mitch, I'm going to have some of your pie now. Now, describe for everyone what this pie was. We talked about it on our, our, our mash-off episode, uh, with, with, uh, with our friends Eva and Hanford a few weeks ago, uh, which we, uh, where we each baked a pie. You gave me a slice of your pie and tell everyone what this pie is.

Why is your having an apple cranberry pie? That's what it is. It's a, a Thanksgiving favorite, an apple cranberry pie. Did you heat it up, Wags? I did heat it up. I put it in for 30 seconds in the, in the microwave, and then I put it in for another like 12 seconds just to give it a little extra. Wow. Uh, a little extra heat. Um, the apples may be a little bit, they're not going to be a lot of form too, but I thought that the pie came out good for my first pie. So I'm wondering how Wags feels about that. He's, he's eating the pie.

Um, Mitch, I'll say what I said when I tasted your bar pizza for the first time. I see why they called you Mr. Slice of pie. We'll be back with more dough boys. Wow. Hey you, you craving fresh, delicious, easy meals, try wild grain and get their bake from frozen sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries delivered right to your door. That's right, Wags. Wild grain is the first ever bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, fresh pastas, and artisanal pastries. Unlike typical supermarket bread, wild grain uses a slow fermentation process that's easier on your belly, lower in sugar, and rich in nutrients

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That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash DOBOYS. ZockDock dot com slash DOBOYS. ZockDock dot com slash DOBOYS. Welcome back to DOBOYS. We are here with Evan Susser for Monty's Good Burger. And Mitch, before we move on with the show, I do want to say your pie. I talked about it. I tasted it before the break. I've been eating some more over the break. It's really, really good. It's genuinely is very tasty. I would not have guessed this was your first ever attempt at making a pie. In particular, the dough, which I struggled with. I think your dough is, and I should expect this from someone who's made so many pizzas and made so many bagels. And I know pie crust is its own

animal, but it's a really good dough. I think you got a knack for this. I appreciate it, Wikes. I got a question about this pie. Yeah. You made a whole point of giving a slice of pie to Wiger. Oh. I literally went to your house this morning. You didn't offer me any pie. Now, is it because when I tried your bar pizza for comedy, my first thing I said was, I've had better? The answer is yes. Fair. Sus, honestly, I was recording ads and I would have given you a slice of pie. And in fact, I have a friend coming over later who's going to have a slice of pie.

Wow. How about that? How exciting? Yeah. I think, Mitch, if there's a thing you're, if you want to make more pies, I think you're good at it. So you know. So Sus, you can join me in my buddy to have a slice of pie if you want to come. I'm not saying their name because they don't want to be associated with the podcast. Okay. Makes me respect them more. Hey, Mitch, speaking of the podcast, it's time for a third act segment. And this is a fun new segment. I've got a series of mystery sandwiches,

and we're going to decide which sandwich is which. Which sandwich is which? Wow. A new segment. That's right. Brand new. It's time for I don't like sand, which. Wow. So here's how this will work. This segment is going to involve a bunch of different sandwiches. I've got them all picked out. It's a mystery as to which sandwich is which, as I said earlier. And at any point, when you think you know the sandwich, you can go ahead and you can chime in with your name and say,

Oh, what's what's happening? Where's that coming from? Hello. Hello. Ho, ho, ho. That's ho, ho, ho. That can only be one person. I don't know who it could be. Maybe you shouldn't guess the sandwich.

Guess who you think I am based on what I just said. That's going to be Santa. It could only be Santa. You nailed it. Wow. It's me, Santa here. Sorry, but I don't think you're going to get into your little segment. Oh, no.

Hey, you know what? We'll happily bump the mystery sandwich segment. I don't like sandwich for such an esteemed guest, Santa, gracing us with his presence. And it sounds like you're maybe calling from your sleigh. Is that correct? Yes. I'm on the 10 freeway on my sleigh right now. Oh, wow. I'm about to get off at Cloverfield. Ho, ho, ho.

Oh my God. Wow. You might run into JJ Abrams down there coming up with more ideas. That's where he likes to hang out. Santa, I've been writing you a note every year asking you for one thing and you never really delivered on it, which we can talk about later. Oh, what's that? Let's just say I wanted bigger hut dogs, I guess you could say is a good way.

I think that's a kind of wish Santa grants. Right. You do say Santa, I want a bigger hut dog this year. You spell it H-U-T-D-O-G. And again, I have, I need specificity. You know what I mean? I mean, tell this to your kids, listeners, if you have kids, there can be no nuance in a letter to Santa. It's all very good, because I have an assembly line of elves

who need to create every single request. And so if you say bigger huts dog, then that's what my elves make. They toil and they bleed and they sweat for these things. Right. It seems like, seems like it's kind of a shitty working conditions that you have from there. And Santa, that sounds bad. Okay, that's not what I came here to talk about.

Right. Well, Santa, what did you come here to talk about? Well, thank you for asking. Since it's, well, a month and a half away from Christmas. No, no, no. Well, as of the, as it's the, this episode is releasing a few days before Christmas. So you see, it's very timely. Whoops.

That's okay. You don't know how our recording schedule syncs up to our release schedule. You're a busy man. I know. And listen, guys, I was the one who had to record so early because December is just a wash for me. Do you know what I mean?

December, it's just like December 1st, you know, you know, when people are like, I can't believe they start playing Christmas music like after Halloween. No, no, no. That's, I need, I need that kind of preparation. Do you know what I mean? Like November for me is just like,

I can't even do Thanksgiving at home. It's just like, it's just Claus is like, I've got a turkey and I'm like, you need to, you need to chill. Yeah, yeah. All I'm saying is I appreciate you accommodating me here on, and you can bleep this out November 18th. Great. And Santa, we established earlier that you do recognize,

no, not November. Yes, of course. I do it myself. Yeah. And then December 1st, we let it all out and then, you know, and then it's like, and then it's go time. Yep. You know what fuels the assembly line, never mind.

So the reason that I'm here is because I've come here just days before Christmas to tell everybody who's on my naughty and nice list. Oh, wow. Breaking chews. Yeah. It's usually a closely guarded secret. Now I don't do this for everybody.

I'm very interested in hearing if we are, but do you have, can you tell us some other people before you say us? For 2021, the big naughty list is, okay, the insurrectionists. Wow. Pretty naughty. Man. I get it. The naughty list is long this year.

It's longer than a CVS receipt. No, no, no. Is that okay if I do the joke? I think that's good. Yeah, I think that helps. The insurrectionists are on there. On there. On there.

Q and on Xiaomi. Jason Reitman. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Director of Ghostbusters Afterlife. Yeah, for making a boy's Ghostbusters. Wow. Fair enough.

That's pretty progressive of them, you Santa. I like that. Thank you. Yeah. The nice list is Dr. Fauci, of course. Wow. Got to be on there. Yeah, he's nicer.

Okay. The mRNA vaccine itself. Yeah, that's good. Sure. Deserves it. But not Johnson and Johnson? No, no. Johnson and Johnson's on the naughty list.

Pfizer and Moderna are on the nice list. What's the AstraZeneca one? I haven't even decided yet. All right, that's fair. Yeah. Got to do your research. Number one on my nice list this year. Ted Lasso.

Wow. He's so nice. He is nice. We need that right now. We do need that right now. Very kind. I got to tell you, kindness just cracks my shit up. Wow, Santa.

It makes me belt. It just makes me... Whenever I see somebody being kind to someone else, oh, oh, oh, oh. I look down my nice list at all the kind people on there, and I just crack up. Wow. Yeah.

Santa. You know what? It makes sense. You're a jolly old elf, so it makes sense. Yeah, I'm a holly jolly big old fella. I was going to say big old motherfucker, but I don't... You don't do that. That's not...

No, you don't do that. That's not a character. That's not a character, yeah. Hey, Santa. Hey, Santa, maybe you should be a little bit more like Ted Lasso sometimes, Santa. Oh, boy. You better come on, please.

Don't look. Times change. You know, in the early days of television, you couldn't say ask. That's true. You couldn't say toilet. Yeah. Now, every TV show has people shitting and pissing in toilets. Yeah, I don't know if that's true.

No, that was a big thing in Ted Lasso. He was like... There were some players on the team who weren't toilet trained, and so he was being a good coach and helping them learn how to use a urinal and sit down on the toilet. Wiping their asses, yes. Wiping their asses, yeah. No, no, and then Ted Lasso went,

all right, yeah, y'all go first and wipe, and then you look and see how much shit's on the paper, you know what I mean? Right, this is folksy sort of... And a shit paper convention or what, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I love that show. You were in that show in season two. I don't know if you know that, Santa.

That Santa is real and is in season two of Ted Lasso. Of course, yes. Well, it's only part of just the childlike wonder of that show, you know what I mean? It's sort of just wouldn't inspire his hope. You know, if that show accomplishes one thing, and if that one thing is to get adults to believe in Santa Claus, then, you know, it's done its job. Safe to say that.

Let me put it out there to people. Let me just say this. Yeah, I know people leave me milk and cookies, but if you left me some Ted Lasso biscuits, oh, I want to try those biscuits so bad. Santa, look, I love all this Ted Lasso talk, but I got to know where do I rank on the nice list. I got to know what number I am on the nice list. Just to give you guys a special gift, my gift to you this year is you get to know whether you're naughty or nice in advance on the podcast.

So I want to start with my nice list, okay? Great. Am I keeping you up, Mitch? Big yawn. I plead. He's had a long day. It's not, it's not really to you. All right, top of my nice list.

Emma. Wow, of course. Emma. Thanks, Santa. Richly deserved. You've got, you're such a hard worker. You've got so much to deal with with these guys. You handle it like a pro.

So this year, you're at the top of my nice list in terms of dough boys. I'll take it. And you get a brand new vape pen. Yay. Wow. That's what she wanted. That's what they told me you like. That's perfect.

I love it. Thanks, Santa. You're welcome. Next on my nice list, the commissioner, Evan Susser. Wow. Wow. I didn't know that Jew is qualified.

Yeah. It doesn't matter. I do not discriminate. Nice people are on my nice list. Evan, I know you don't celebrate Christmas, but this year, I will, I, I will be a guest on Deli Boys. Wow. Okay.

I guess I got to bring that. Wow, Santa. That was Santa. Santa on Deli Boys. What a crossover. You know, my mother's doing it. So I'm technically Jewish. Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're technically Jewish. Santa's mom is Jewish. How about that? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I think Santa, if I'm remembering right, Santa's mom is Judy Rosenbaum.

Mm-hmm. Clause. You know Judy? Yeah. Yes. Judy Rosenbaum clause. Das clause. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Next. Intermarriage. Sure. Well, okay. Well, hey, careful. Okay.

You might move down on the list. Next on my next list, no one. Nice list over. What? Naughty list. Whoa, what the fuck? Wait, well, you didn't say our names yet, Santa. You didn't say our names or the Drop King,

although that one tracks. Oh, just, you'll hear your names. Oh, Drop King's on the nice list too. Okay. Damn. You get the raise. Okay. We might be appealing that one, but okay.

Okay. First on my naughty list, Nick Weiger. Whoa, Nick, what the fuck? What sins did I commit? You know what I mean. I know, but do you know? I don't know if I want to hear.

Well, it gets mentioned on the podcast almost every week. Oh, boy. Filthy self-pleasure. And I don't even mean look, I know I'm Santa, but I'm just, and I don't just mean the thing that always gets mentioned. Sure. Yeah.

No, it perhaps, you don't mean in terms of carnality, but you mean in terms of food intake, because I do pursue oral pleasure in terms of putting unhealthy food in my mouth. Okay. Don't get ahead of yourself. Tied for first on my naughty list? Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell.

What the fuck, Santa? I mean, not a surprise. What did I do? You two have committed the sin of gluttony. Oh my God. By nature of this very podcast, and Mitch, you got some sloth in there too, dude. Yeah, that, that, I mean, gluttony sloth, I think those are,

I would say Wrath too. You might want to tag Mitch with Wrath. So Weigert, haven't you killed people, Weigert? Well, all right, back off. Like your hands are clean. I would say maybe Mitch could get you, maybe get him on Envy and Pride as well. I feel like I both see both of them pop up.

Yes, I would say Envy, Pride, and Wrath all go towards any time you mentioned Ryan Johnson. You're, you're jealous of him. You're just jealous. I am, I am. What do you want from me? But Weigert, you have skeletons in your closet, but literally. So Halloween decorations.

I think that, that yes, okay, I can be guilty, I can be guilty of gluttony for sure. That's, that's absolutely fair. And it's, it's a problem, it's a base of the book. I look some, some certain deeds. I'm going through the list of seven deadly sins, and I don't necessarily see them specifically enumerated. So do we have to go through them?

Do you have them in front of you? Yeah, we got, we got Lus, gluttony, greed, laziness, Wrath, Envy, and Pride, of course. Lus, I'm not worried about for either of you guys. The last one is, the last one is Pride, and then parentheses in the name of love. I think it's like that U2 song. I would say you guys have a little too much pride

in this podcast. Wow. Wow. Well, Santa, I mean, we don't act that worse than, you know, that much worse than anyone else. Does this mean that we're not going into any presence this year? What's the deal? This year, for Christmas, you will both spend eternity

in eternal damnation and hellfire in the pitch of hell. Whoa, what the fuck? What? You're going to hell. Santa! You're going to hell. Santa! Oh my God.

He revealed his cap, he removed his cap, removed his beard, removed his face to reveal his biaislebub himself, the devil. LDL, Lucifer. Wow. Did you know that Santa is actually Satan? It's actually just a couple of the letters flipped around. Isn't that clever?

Which you, you removed a name tag that said, go ahead, Suss. Let Susser talk. I remember that from a church lady sketch on Saturday Night Live. Wow. Wow. This was an original idea. Well, isn't that special?

Now, listen. You naughty boys will rot in hell for all of eternity. And guess what? You're already there. Fuck. This Palmerston Hotel, Wally and Irma just, the little horns popped out of Wally and Irma's heads, and they're staring at me.

You two died in a murder suicide 10 years ago, and this podcast has been your own personal hell. Wow. And it took this Susser episode for us to realize it. Yes. I'm just curious who did the, who did the murder and who did the suicide? Because it could go either way.

You both killed each other in front of, you both killed yourselves in front of each other. Got it. Okay. Oh God, I can't believe Satan's here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, who, who, who, who? Uh-oh.

Dude, did you just nut? Looks like you're not going to make it through to no, not November. You'll be nutting for all of eternity. Why is he gonna help me? I'm, I'm, I'm gonna, I can't stop nutting. Hold on. Hold on.

Let me, let me, let me, let me get over there. Let me try to help you. Let me go, let me, let me see if I can. Yes. An eternal nut, an eternal nut November. It feels like what I always wanted, but it's not. Do you have anything to say?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Santa. I didn't mean to be bad. Sorry, do you mean it? I do. Are you sorry? I never meant to be bad. Stop your fat fucking faces every week,

after week, after week. Well, wait a minute. By the way, Susser isn't in hell with us. He, he talked about how we scarfed a burger in his car. Yeah. He's not killing me. It was a different kind of thing.

It was a different kind of thing. Look, Santa. And also he chose the wrong religion according to this. Technically, I can't, I can't technically do anything to him since he is not of this. Immunity, immunity. Oh, man. Wow, man.

Religious exemption. Santa, look, I love these, I love these guys. Yes. Look, have they committed many of the seven deadly sins? Sure. You definitely, you got to hit Mitch with sloths. Definitely gluttony for both of them. Greed.

I mean, they do hide the number on Patreon of how much money they're bringing in. But I think that ultimately these are good guys. Why don't we all just come together and play the sandwich game that's real and that Weigar has worked out? And why don't we just do that together? Wow. Evan, that heartfelt defense of your two friends has really changed my mind.

And guess what? What? I'm putting my beard and my hat back on. It is me, Santa. It's Santa. It was Santa all along. Oh, now in the back of your sleigh, I see Hollywood wig and costume. That was, the Satan stuff was fake.

It's a double mask. If you were good boys. Oh, and Santa, I've been trying. I really have. I know. I know, pal. It's OK. I know mom's keeping you in line.

She is. She's trying to. I haven't really been trying, but I've, I don't think I've been hurting anyone. So that's my defense. Honestly, I've got a quick question for you. Did you use your magic powers to make us nut a bunch of times when we were nutting? Yeah. What was that about?

Oh, the magic was in you the whole time. Wow. All you had to do was believe in me and you'll not forever and ever and ever. Oh, he's right. No voice listeners tell your children if they believe in me, they'll not forever. Well, Santa, thank you so much for being here before before you go. This triple-decker sandwich is usually made with sliced turkey or chicken and includes bacon, tomato and lettuce plus mayonnaise.

Yes, sir. Club sandwich. I heard Susser first. Sorry, Santa. Susser gets the point for club sandwich and that's all the time we have. That's all the time we have. Thank you so much. Okay.

Anything you'd like to plug? Yeah, just keep an eye out for Christmas this year. It's on the 25th. We got an early Hanukkah this year right after Thanksgiving, so keep an eye out for that too if you celebrate and be kind to one another. That's fair. That's good. Thank you, Santa.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Santa. Get home safe. I love you boys and girls. Bye. Love you. Love you. Wow.

Wow. What a nice little visit from Santa. And hey, just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And hey, we have a voicemail today. Let's take a listen. Hey, Dolfan and Geth.

This is Matt from Atoma, Iowa. My question is, if somebody were starting a chain restaurant, Hall of Fame, and they reached out to this group to get suggestions for nominations of the first inductees, who would you guys nominate and why? To be anyone who's made any contributions to the chain restaurant industry, a math, a company who invented technology, a podcast host, whoever is related to chain restaurants. Thanks for all the laughs.

Wow, that's a great question. Wow, great question. A Hall of Chain, if you will. A Hall of Fame for Chains. What's going in there? It's interesting that he kind of was suggesting people. And I feel like it should more be like items. I agree with that.

I mean, I would give McDonald's a Lifetime Achievement Award. I think that they deserve that. And then I think that, and I know the Taco Bell dog will be in Memoriam. I know that those two off the top of my head. For me, why? Because I think that Taco Bell should win an award for experimentation. You know what I mean? Like always trying something new.

But I guess, what is it? Is it like, Sus doesn't like this? You're saying like Best Burger. Like that's- No, well- Typically a Hall of Fame, yeah, doesn't necessarily say like you're inducted for this specific category. It's not like an award.

It's more like this is a body of work means that you are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or the Basketball Hall of Fame or what have you. Like to me, like the Big Mac is just in. And like- Big Mac and Chili's Fajitas are in. Yeah, I think the Chili's Fajitas contributed enough. I would say that probably if you're going to expand it to people, the first person I think of is like a Dave Thomas of Wendy's.

Yeah, Thomas- Because I feel like he did make a lot of contributions. And I would also say adjacent to Chili's, let's induct that Baby Back Ribs jingle. That's good, yeah. Because that is one, what that, you know what? That one and the Subway $5 foot long jingle are both just like classic fast food jingles that can be long in there. And you know what?

Let Jared in. Let Jared in. It's like a Pete Rose situation. Just let him in. It's like O.J. in the football Hall of Fame. Look, whatever you want to say about the man, his career deserves the recognition. Yeah.

So Jared's my first nominee. Besides that, I would say Grimace obviously gets in. Sure. Grimace makes his way in there. To me, why is that spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's is getting in for the best, I mean, a game changer too when you think about the spicy chicken sandwiches of the world. Yeah, although I think that Popeye's chicken sandwich is headed in there right by its side in due time.

Yeah, but that's the new guy. That's the new guy right now. It is, but it's starting off hot. It's like a John Moran. You extrapolate his career over the next decade or so. He's probably getting in the hall. You know what else I would say? McNuggets.

McNuggets are getting in there. Oh, so we're staying all chicken basically. Everything, we've said a lot of chicken. We said Big Macs. We said McNuggets and Big Macs. Those are in there. Okay. Got it.

I mean, damn, McDonald's is going to dominate this thing in my mind. I said the spicy chicken sandwich, but you know what? Cheesy Gordita Crunch has got to get in there. You know what I'll say? Because the Chili's makes me think of something that belongs from Denny's, the grand slam breakfast. Wow, that's good. The grand slam breakfast, I feel like, is just a signature item that everyone thinks of

and that, hey, has its own legacy. So yeah, I think that absolutely deserves some recognition. I got a surprising one, maybe. The barbecue chicken pizza from California Pizza Kitchen. Not necessarily great right now, but in its time, the game that it was playing, it really stood out. You're talking about game changers. Yeah, it was a game changer.

I think it absolutely, it innovated. It was like the Fosbury flop of pizzas. It was like, oh, you're trying something new. Okay. We're all going to catch up to you and eventually surpass you, but as of right now, yeah, you're really doing something different. Would you put a simple napkin in or a straw? No.

A napkin? You're nominating a napkin or a straw? I'm saying would you. I asked would you. I mean, maybe you get a little special recognition for napkins and straws, but I don't know if they then necessarily deserve to be like an inductee. All right, fine. It's a universal.

Would you put in a simple toilet? I mean, oftentimes that's what you pull over to a fast food place. You're using it for a restroom. Yeah. I'd say, I think I'll just go back to my original answer. Jared, that's who gets in for me. Jared and Grimace. Man, there's so many options.

I mean, it's just like it's, you go down the list. You think of the, you think of the bloomin' onion from Outback Steakhouse. I mean, that's such a signature. I don't know of anything else from Outback Steakhouse gets in. See, this is the way we have to think about this. It's like, who is the Stones? Who are the Rolling Stones of the fast food world? And that's the Big Mac.

The Big Mac is the Rolling Stones of the fast food world. And then, you know, like Stuffed Crust Pizza? That's a one hit wonder. That's like Mott the Hoop Bowl or whatever. Guys. Yeah. Goal for 2022. Should the Doughboys do like a pop-up chain restaurant hall of fame?

Wow. Wow. I kind of like it. I like it too, but I mean, how much work is it? More than none. All right, then I don't like it anymore. And then, you know, people are just like, Waffle House should be, there's no Waffle House.

Yeah, they'd be mad about everything. The Waffle House scattered and smattered and splattered should be in there. They're going to be mad at that too. Shut up. Yeah, shut the fuck up. You know what? Now that the year's ending, just shut the fuck up. Yeah, you know who's not going in the hall of chain?

Doughboys listeners. Yeah, you're out. People who use the Doughboys subreddit. You're barred. Here's my list, Wikes. Here's the list that's going in. Big Mac, the Whopper, Spicy Chicken Sandwich, Cheesy Gordita Crunch, Domino's Pizza, and a Pan Pizza from Pizza Hut, like the big, the big guns.

These are like people, like people are like, oh, you like the stones and roll your eyes. But like, these are the stones and the lead zeppelins of the fucking fast food world. They deserve to go in. And Jared, of course. And then the list of people not going in, Doughboys listeners. I think that's, I mean, I think that's a good list. I think that's valid. I think you're maybe airing a little bit too far on the side of fast food,

whereas sit-down chains, I think, deserve recognition. And I think too heavy on food items versus like the things that we were talking about, like, jingles, architecture. The design of a classic Pizza Hut. True. Yeah. Great design. Yeah, that goes in.

That goes in for sure. The film Demolition Man. If Jared comes out of prison to go into the Hall of Chain, then someone's going to take his position in prison. So that's got to be John Lovitz. Lovitz has to go to prison in his place. Sure. So Lovitz is jailed up.

I mean, I think that makes sense. That's a fair swap. I think that probably that as far as sit-down chain items, I think probably some Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake, or maybe one of their savory items. Maybe the Cheesecake Factory menu could go in. Ooh, that's good. Yes.

Like an illuminated manuscript that you'd see at a museum. That's the equivalent of that. I'd throw that in there. I'd maybe throw in, I don't know. I think just like, can we just get a statue of a hillstone server? I feel like they just have the most incredible service in the game. And I honestly feel like, how about a Beyonce's Red Lobster song? Wow.

Whatever that one was. I like it. Let us know your nominations. Yeah. Hashtag, Chain Hall of Fame. And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast.com. Hashtag, Hall of Chain.

There you go. And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, thank you, Matt, for that message. And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast.com, or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-644. And to get the Dowboys Double or Weekly Bonus episode,

you can join the Goldner Platinum Play Club at patreon.com.com-dowboys. Special thanks to Mookie Blake Locke, who played Santa. You can check out his podcast You Are Worthy with Lil Mookie Beat. That's who that was, Mitch. That's who it was. That's right. He's coming over for a slice of pie. How exciting.

He's going to love it. Wigs, one last question. Hey, it's been a good year, buddy. Here's to 2022. And my last question is, you happy we started this day with a fucking call and made it an extra long day? You piece of shit.

I am, because yeah. This is through the longest day of this episode. Suck shit. What the fuck? We got it all in. We had to get this done. And that call was very productive and I think very encouraging. So you fucking.

God damn it. How else are we going to appreciate the energy on the big year end episode of we have to get this done? That's nice. Yeah, we were either. That's always good. Let's pack them up together. Let's just get it done.

Your piece of shit. Our availability is limited. Okay, it's hard for us. It's not full shit. It's all for us to get together at the same time with DP all the time. We don't have shit to do. Not all the time. How dare you?

I was going to say like getting all three of us together at once is not always an easy feat. That's bullshit. It's not. It's true. We were dealing with someone on the east coast who had different windows of availability. You want to look at that?

Look at those times and pick out a better one. Because I was the only one offering options. I was the only one saying, hey, why don't we pick this time? I'm saying to do all three of them in the day. It's not hard to get sus. Well, I think that was a good. It's maybe a little too easy to get sus. I haven't said sir.

Anything you'd like to plug? Yes. Man by the stock, the investigative, the investigative series by myself and Emma Erdbrink. If you're on the Patreon, you've already heard it. If you're not, it should be released on the main feed soon. I'm very proud of it. It's maybe the thing I'm proudest of in my life.

It's going in the fast food hall of chain. Yes. And then 2022, the second annual 25-hour Doe Boys Do-a-thon coming out. Jesus Christ. I'm proud that I once again am the one to announce it. Oh, no. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see.

Sure. Thank you, Susser. Thank you so much for the Doe investigation came out great. Thank you to you. Thank you to our producer, Emma Erdbrink, our MVP who does so much for the show. Thank you to the Drop King Robert Persinger, our associate producer. And thanks to everyone else out there for listening to the show. We'll see you back on the other end.

Or if you're behind the paywall, we'll see you on Tuesday. Hello. See you then. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, everybody. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys until next time. Until next year. For Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger.

Happy eating. We love you. See you. And here is the time of your life for Palmerston. What the fuck? I'm not mad. I'm not mad. I don't get mad. That's because I was right.

Jackie Boy and Koalic both lived here. Then came Emma and Suss in all this podcast gear. I've lived here 12 years and a lot of shit's gone wrong. But I'll be honest, I'm gonna miss it when it's gone. This place should be condemned by now. Drop can get some caution tape. I think I just found Emma's old babe. I'm not mad.

I'm not mad. I'm not mad. It was always unpredictable. But in the end was right. I kinda had the time of my life. It was always unpredictable. And in the end was right. I really had the time of my life.

Thanks Palmerston. Okay, I was a little mad.