Doughboys - Mrs. Fields with Matt Singer

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Matt Singer (@superpulse, Opposable Thumbs) joins the 'boys to talk about movie tie-in menus, theme parks, and wrestling before a review of Mrs. Fields. Plus, a new Snack or Wack.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.wbur.org/onlyagame/2015/06/13/mc-hammer-golden-state-oakland-ashttp://www.centerfieldmaz.com/2019/11/the-1970s-oakland-as-ball-girls-mlbs.htmlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDaUUBGVleEhttps://www.franchisewire.com/from-housewife-to-entrepreneur-the-debbi-fields-story/https://www.mlb.com/athletics/news/athletics-las-vegas-ballpark-agreements-approvedhttps://www.mrsfields.com/pages/aboutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. In 1971, a nine-year-old boy named Stanley Burrell began working odd jobs for his hometown team, newly minted Major League Baseball franchise, the Oakland Athletics. Burrell eventually graduated from gopher to bat boy and became a beloved fixture of the A's clubhouse as a youth.

So much so that, after a stint in the US Navy, Borrell received a loan from a group of former Oakland ballplayers to launch his music career under the pseudonym MC Hammer. But Hammer, who later Sean Parkered away the MC, it's cleaner, wasn't the only celebrity who built his brand by first working for the Oakland Ball Club. Around the same time the can't touch this rapper was cleaning cleats, a recent high school graduate and aspiring professional baker named Debbie Sivier took a job with the A's in the newly created role of ball girl. The brainchild of obviously horned up owner Stanley Finley, ball girls were a troupe of fetching young women who were fetching foul balls while wearing short shorts and platform shoes, and former homecoming queen Sivir was a standout, leaning into her true passion by offering milk and cookie breaks for umpires. After a few seasons with the club, using her savings to perfect her own cookie recipe, in 1977, Sivir achieved her dream of opening a chocolate chipperie under her married name in the Stanford University college town of Palo Alto, California.

After just four years of operation, the brand had over a dozen stores and numbered in the hundreds by the 1990s, a fixture of mall food courts much like Hot Dog and a Stick or Cinnabon. In 1992, the Mrs. sold her eponymous cookie store to famous brands international for $100 million. But today with sagging sales amid new, more internet savvy competition like Insomniac and Crumble, the brand is perhaps getting a little long in the sweet tooth. In recent years, it was rescued from bankruptcy by a sale to private equity firm Z Capital Partners because of fucking capitalism or whatever the fuck.

Meanwhile, the athletics have their own issue with new shitty ownership. Led by Bay Area pariah John Fisher, who is now relocating the team to Las Vegas, taking Oakland down from three major league franchises just a decade ago to zero as of next season. But still, almost 50 years later, to paraphrase fellow A's alum Hammer, the trailblazing Ballgirls cookie shop has proven that it's too legit to quit. This week on Doughboys, Mrs. Fields. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger along with my co-host, Mitchell versus the vaccines, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

I just made a joke about it. Pretty good. That's pretty spot on. We made a joke about going out to Golden Road Brewery and I said, right when the pandemic had ended in 2021. Yes. Right, you remember when the pandemic ended in early 2021? We're all set.

In the rearview. It was the first times we had hung out, you were saying. That's right, with everybody joining Morris. And you're going to Golden Road tonight, not to dox you, but this episode will be air after you've been there. We'll be fine, yes. Yeah, yeah, you should be fine, yes, yeah.

And I was saying, I had been going out anyways, which is not true. I was very bored, and I moved back to Quincy, Massachusetts. I remember and I was saying I had been going out anyways, which is not true. I was very bored and I moved back to Quincy, Massachusetts. I remember. I remember it well. Our listeners remember it well. I'm sure they do. There was a period when we were doing everything. We were trying to figure it out.

We reviewed Orida potatoes one episode. That is true. You know what's funny is that we were talking about like, remember I was like, what's the best tournament? We said this the other, we were talking about the tournaments the other day. We were like, what's the best tournament? And I was like, I really liked talking about the tournaments the other day. We were like, what's the best tournament? And I was like, I really liked the McDonald's one.

And we were like, oh, that's when the pandemic started. So now I'm, it's now five years out and I'm like looking back fondly on pandemic days. That's what's happening. Yes, right. You have some nostalgia for early pandemic. Yeah. Hey boys, started this roast this morning,

couldn't help but share. I've been a fan since 2016 and have listened to each and every one of your episodes. Thanks for furnishing me with a years-long parasocial relationship. Greetings to Emma, Amelia, Casey, Drop King, Ghost of Usong, The Ad-Chad, Commissioner Susser, former Commissioner Kowalik, Jemmy, Wally, Irma, frequent voicemail guest John Hodgman. I wonder if his books are on sale anywhere. And of course, Rob Lowe, Alex, RoastedBirdFuck.com. Wow. Thanks, Alex. Thanks for the shout outs of everyone who means everything to us.

RoastedBirdFuck.com. Wow, thanks Alex. Thanks for the shout outs of everyone who means everything to us. I feel a little left out, but I'm gonna see that. Well, a future email will account for you, I'm sure. Koalik, Roblo. Yeah. Koalik asked if I wanna get dinner tonight.

I'm not sold yet. We're gonna see what happens after we record. I feel like you've said that exact same sentence before. Probably. He was like, we can that exact same sentence before. Probably. He was like, we can chill in at your house. I was like, yeah, we'll see how I feel. Post-record. Koalik's inviting himself over to hang out at your house.

Yes. I think basically he is. I'll bring a wedge of cheese. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. How's your wall consistency? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I don't know. I don't know, chewed a hole through it? Yeah, is your drywall novel?

What the fuck? Well, they said when they wrote share in there, was it S-H-A-R-E or is it C-H-E-R? What? What? Oh, the first sentence, thought of this roast this morning couldn't help but share. You were asking if that word was S-H-A-R-E or share.

C-H-E-R, yeah. Like the singer? Yeah. Like he's out of the room, so he just started singing Cher song? Yeah, couldn't help but share. If you could turn back time, would you tell that joke again? 100%.

I stand by the joke. I mean, did I tell it too late? Yes, because I went into another whole other thing. But if I could turn, what's your favorite Cher song? I mean, I got you, babe. It's pretty tough to be, but also do you believe? That's what I was going to say. That, that believe is really good. That's a banger.

And that was like a, like a later in the career hit that was like, kind of like a comeback hit. I also, that video kind of got me horny. I was like, Cher still got it. Yeah. It's a very horny video. Yeah. She does still got it. Yeah. I crank it to it. I was like, Cher's still got it. Yeah, it's a very horny video. She does still got it. Yeah.

I'd crank it to it, I would say, back then. I'll crank one to this. This is back then. Back then. Back then. Let's specify. Back then, it's like, sure, I might crank one of this. Mitch, you get that, right?

I understand what you're saying. The 2000s, early, late 90s, early 2000s. I'll also say, since our guest brought up turn back time, that turn back time video is very horny. Oh yes. Sharing a battle ship. I could crank one to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Aircraft carrier, whatever it is. Yeah, it's a... If I had my way, this would be a common thing. People wouldn't be ashamed of it. You see something, I could crank one to this. You know, everyone agrees. Any time you see Cher. Any time you see Cher.

Any context. Yes. SNL 50, hey, I could crank one of this. You could? Yeah, why not? There's moments in that show I could crank too for sure. Well, not to get sad up top, but let's just get, let's get out there. It's 10 years since our friend Harris Widows passed away,

today. That's right. Did you know that today was the day? The day of this episode's release. No, today. Oh, the day we're recording? The day we're recording. Oh, wow. That's wild.

So shout out to Harris. We love you and miss you. All right, Pete. 10 years. Kind of crazy. That is wild to think about. He would have been a guest. He would have been great on the show. But you know.

Do you think he would have cranked it to share? I'm sure he did. When Harris was alive, I'm sure that he cranked it to share and probably anything you can crank it to, Harris probably did. Yeah. I loved him, he was a great guy. Great guy.

There's nothing, I mean, what else am I gonna say? We talked about him a lot on the podcast, but today, 10 years, crazy. Fucking crazy. Yeah. What are you gonna do? Yeah, yeah, what are you gonna do? Why?

Do I feel weird talking about it? Our dead friend? Yeah. To start you gonna do? Yeah, yeah, what are you gonna do? Why, I'm so pretty. Do I feel weird talking about it? Our dead friend? Yeah. Who started this comedy podcast? Yeah. Yeah, sure. But also, like you said, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

One of the funniest guys ever, a good guy, and we miss him a lot. We do, we miss him quite a bit, yep. Mitch, I have a, on a different note, I have a- Actually, if you could trade him for Elon or something, that would be fucking- I'm just saying. Send fucking Elon to hell,

not that I think Harris is in heaven. If heaven is real, I think Harris is up there. But send Elon to, I think I would trade, I think I'd bring back, I think I'd bring Osama back to life to send Elon to hell. Is that bad? Is that a bad trade off? Not necessarily.

I think I would bring back Osama. Osama's back. Osama's back. And Harris is back first. If you can bring someone back. Harris is back. Oh, my dad is there too. Harris? My dad's not in hell, Casey.

He said he's there. My dad's in the hell, Casey. He said he's there. My dad is in the afterworld. Right. Afterworld. As explored in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. That's kind of like the domain in which he's in. My dad and that sex offender guy who's the father. Jeffrey Jones.

Jeffrey Jones. OK, he's there as well. Yeah, have eaten Jeffrey Jones. Bin Laden and Harris, they're all hanging out. What a band they got up there. My dad, Harris, and Bin Laden have a band? And Harris. Oh, and Harris. And Jeffrey Jones.

And Jeffrey Jones. I've eaten Jeffrey Jones. Jeez, my dad has gotten tied up with some fucking freaky characters up there. Mitch, I want to bring our guests in here. I want to get your job. But I have a harrowing story of survival I wanted to share that was related to a Doughboyz record.

Last week we were recording, it was pouring. It was like the most rain LA had gotten in literally years. I would have to guess the old man was snoring on this day. One would have to think the old man was snoring. If it's raining and it's pouring, you know the third. Have you heard the one, there's like an idiom, and I don't know what the origin is, but it's like rain is, it's like the devil

is beating his wife. My grandmother used to say that. Jesus. What a weird fucking, yeah, what a weird thing to say. If it's raining, it means the devil's beating his wife. Yeah, my grandmother used to say that, and every time my dad would be like, what the fuck does that mean?

Yeah, it's this weird like old timey thing that got, I don't know. That's insane. I know, isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's this weird old timey thing that got, I don't know. That's insane. I know, isn't that crazy? I hope Osama's putting an end to it down there or something. It's crazy. The devil is married? He's beating his wife?

I guess so. Ugh. I guess he is married. Now I gotta tell my mom the devil is married and I'm not? That sucks. It's supposedly when it's raining and the sun is shining at the same time. Oh, that's what it is. And the devil's beating his way.

That's what it is, okay. Wait, what is, it's raining, it's snoring. I just genuinely figure this out. Is the old man is snoring mean like thunder, it's God is snoring? Is that the old man in this song? I never put it together. That would make sense.

Is that what it means? Do you wanna check Rap Genius? Do we have any info on those lyrics? Yeah. Will you check Rap Genius for it's raining, it's pouring? Love to have some context on that. So it was raining, it was pouring. I've got this EV I've been driving.

I'm driving home. I get a warning on my dashboard that says, and first off, my battery is half charged, so it's not like my battery is low, but I get a warning. You need an electrical vehicle. Electrical vehicle. I get a warning that like battery malfunction pull over. It's like that, like hard. It's beeping like it's fucking sully,

and we just got hit by birds. It was fucking crazy. Is this on you or in the car? This is on the car. OK. So I'm trying to. OK. It's not my own warning system.

I'm not seeing my own HUD in my field of vision. All right, I didn't know. We're clear, we're clear. Yeah, no, the car is fucking up. The car says pull over. I'm trying to get over, but I'm in downtown LA. So you know there's that interchange. So it's like, there's not a place to pull over.

You're on the 405. Let's be real here, aren't you? I'm on the 10. I'm on the 10 going to the 110 to the... Not as scary anymore, we're gone. 101 to the 10 to the... It's still fucking scary. The 10 is scary, but the 405 is scary.

101, 110, 110 interchange. So it's like this like three freeways converging. There's not like a great place to get off. I'm trying to get to the next exit before I can get to the next exit. Like I can see the exit ramp, my car just fucking dies. And like dies completely. I have to coast to the shoulder.

I'm on the shoulder, no power, can't even turn my emergency blinkers on. So I'm just sitting in the dark in a black car while like fucking traffic is whipping by in the pouring rain. And I was there for two and a half hours waiting for a tow. It was fucking terrifying. I felt so bad when I... I didn't realize...

We all offered to go and help you, and you said no, to be clear. You did, but I will say Nellie came to my rescue. Nellie came over on her own. She parked behind me. She turned on her emergency. She parked behind me. She turned on her emergency flashers, which was very nice. Something that Amelia and Emina also offered to do. One of those baby bags with diapers in it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah. Yeah, would've loved that. So wait, she parked her car behind you? She parked her car behind me so she had her flashers on,

so there at least was some illumination. Jesus. Or did she just stay in her car? She was just hanging out there. Because she could have gotten out of on the shoulder, but it was like the shoulder right into just hillside. It was not like a light. And it was so like it was flooded outside.

Also, what you gonna do, get in the car with you and hang with you for? She got her phone to keep her on you. What a hero. It was crazy. Your lovely wife is, who is the best. But then I finally, you know, I couldn't believe how harrowing it was and how lengthy it was.

It was like the most, like I don't really even care that much about the car. It was more just that like, what a shitty situation to have to endure. When I heard, when you said like, she's finally, like I'm finally going home, or when Alfred Natalie was even there, I couldn't believe

it had been as long as it was. Our record was done at five and I got home at nine p.m. Yeah, that's insane. Yeah, in a while. Yeah, what an ordeal. Anyway. And then you had talked about canceling that record that day anyway, cause the weather was so bad.

Cause the weather, yeah. I'm glad we did it, we could get episodes. Maybe deep inside you knew like, your car wasn't gonna make it home. Yeah. Where of the weather, yeah. I'm glad we did it, we could get episodes. Maybe deep inside you knew your car wasn't gonna make it home. Yeah. Where were you parked? Did you see anything where you were like, I could crank it to that?

And then like that happened? I was gonna say, you're saying you'd wanna send Elon to hell if your car, your EV had mysteriously died after you had said that. Whoa. That would have been something. That might have been on the Spoon Man. Look, he's a huge piece of shit.

Also, we were too nice to tech guys for too long. I saw it coming in like when I was in college. I was like, these fucking little dorks, they suck. We should have shoved more of them. We should have. Your movie idea, I still think you should do it. I won't say it out loud. Because have we ever talked about it before, I think.

Haven't we? I don't remember. So the old man is snoring can mean a couple of different things. It can mean that the rain drowns out a bunch of sound, kind of like a snore would, or that you were saying, like thunder and lightning is snoring.

But it seems that most people believe it's a warning about head injuries, cause the rest of the line is, he bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning. He went to bed, he bumped his head, he went to bed and couldn't get up in the morning. He went to bed. He bumped his head, he went to bed, and he couldn't get up in the morning. So there's some theories that say it's a drunk guy who bumped his head and couldn't get up or had a head injury.

I feel like it's a drunk guy. This New York Post article, I mean, take it that way you will, but it says, So your home page? It says, raining and pouring refers to the alcoholic drinks being poured very liberally like it's raining cocktails and shots. Wow.

So it's not even like a song about weather really. It just might be about- That makes sense. And also- Children's nursery rhyme version is about weather, but it's maybe actually about drunk and- It's secretly about drunks. That makes more, if it's like whatever, however 150 years old, it's about just getting drunk

all the time is my guess. One quick lesson learned and actually, or is like a thing that I was glad I had. So I was there for a while. I tend to be over hydrated during these records. I had to urinate very badly. Thankfully I had my Yeti. Mitch, I was able to piss in my Yeti, so that was nice.

And let me tell you. And also Nick has- You were joking about a diaper bag. I you. And also Nick has, Nick has. You weren't joking about a diaper bag. I know, he really needed it. It would have been handy. He did have this. And just so people, so this makes sense for people's heads,

Nick has the Eddie extra long. All right. No, actually I like, I would, it was one of those things I could not believe how much urine is inside the human body because I filled the whole, I filled it up once, and I was like, I still got more going on here. So I had to like dump it out, filled it up again. And then here's the thing with the Yeti,

you put the cap on, you got home, it was still warm when you got back home. Two and a half times I filled this thing up. Two and a half Yeti folds. It's a 28 ounce-er, how is that possible? That's fucking disgusting. How much did you drink? I was just drinking, like, just kind of, you know,

like a can of seltzer and a flat water, I think I was drinking back in the studio. Do you think some of it maybe was scared piss? Do you think you were a little bit scared? Yeah, I think there probably was some fear piss. Sure, yeah. Ooh, fear piss. Yeah.

But I was glad I had, because I would have been, I don't know what else I would have done. I would have just had to like pee myself. So what was your routine with cleaning the Yeti, I guess I need to know. Hand wash and then through the dishwasher. I was like, this thing costs like $40. I'm not throwing it in the trash

because I had some of my own pee in it. Like I'm just gonna wash it thoroughly, it'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. Have you used it since? Yeah. I really regret. It tastes like fucking piss. I regret letting you give me that Yeti.

I was wondering why when I walked in as a welcome gift. Would you like a Yeti? I was like, sure, thank you. As soon as you walked through the door, you wanted a drink. It was in your face. It was weird. Emma, let's hit him with a drop. Playbacks.

I heard a huh? Yeah. Right. Prop! Yeah. Romaine spring mix. That's for me. Oh Jesus. Walk ahead. Walk ahead. Oh, wedge salad. Oh, wee. I mean, look, it was bad.

Sucks. Wow. I like that beat. The beat was fantastic. Yeah, it was really good. That was groovy. That was a really, really good beat. How the hell to Nation, for me.

And then howdy Emma, Amelia, Casey, Drop King, Wayne Brady, and the other two. And the other two. Oh, us. I guess that's us. Yeah, that makes sense. I so enjoyed the musicality of the sniffle, yeah, right, huh, from the root beer episode, I knew it needed to be dropped.

I don't even know what the fuck that means. Shout out to. Casey, you were on a root beer baron episode. Do you remember what that exchange was at all? No, not at all. Not at all. Sniffle, yeah. I think the huh is me.

Is Amelia, I kind of remember that, but I didn't think that was the root beer episode. Cause Mitch said something and Amelia went, huh? And then you finished your sentence and Amelia went, oh, quietly in the background. That could have been any episode. But I remember mixing it because I thought it was funny and I was like, yeah, make sure everybody can hear this.

But I didn't realize it was the root beer episode. And shout out to Hot, sorry, shout out to White Hot for the beat. Thanks always for the insightful conversation and attempts at humor, attempts at humor. Kramer. Wow. I'm on Discord because my beautiful,

higher earning wife won't let me. Wow. Kramer, wow, thank you. I loved your set at the Laugh Factory. Um. Um. Um. Um.

Drops at birdfuck.com. Yeah. It's very, very exciting to have our guest in studio, editor and critic at ScreenCrush, and the author of Opposable Thumbs, How Siskel and Ebert Changed Movies Forever. Matt Singer is here. Hi, Matt. Hi. Thanks so much for making time for us.

You're in town on a family vacation, but you carved out some time to come in studio for the Doughboys, and we appreciate it so much. Now, I think we've said this to you before, but is any part of you writing this book about Siskel and Ebert, is that just attracting you to come back to Nick and I, because we're kind of like the dumber modern day?

Fatter, dumber version. Yeah, of Siskel and Ebert. Of food, yes, absolutely. Of food, also, we aren't good at talking about movies on top of that, too. Well, we'll see. People don't like our movie opinions, I would say. Even though I think we're, we align,

Nick and I align more on it. I think we have pretty good movie opinions. I think our guest has pretty good movie opinions too. I gotta say this. I talked to someone today from the Atlantic about an article. Wow. We won't say what the article is

or we won't say anything about it yet, but we were talking about food, and I was like, you know, like, a Whopper is so different from a Big Mac. And she was like, Nick said the exact same thing. Yes. And she was like, you two are like, you're just linked, like, cosmically forever. Yeah.

You said the exact. And I was like, I didn't know that he said that. I had no idea that you said that. This was Ellen Cushing. I don't know if the piece is out yet. Ellen, a writer for the Atlantic. And we each talked to her independently. Yes. But yeah. We both said the same exact thing. She also told me, it's like, I know you get this all the time, but my boyfriend is going to be so excited I'm talking to you. And you were like, we should get her on the podcast. And at this time, she hadn't asked me to talk.

And I was like, no, fuck that. We can get a writing partner. I was pissed off that I wasn't asked. Yeah, but then I did get asked. And now I'm a big fan. But yeah, we're the dumb modern cisco and ebret, I guess you could say. I mean, way less popular.

There's a million things that are different. Less influential. Yeah. Yes. Let's talk a little bit about, yeah. Just our sex drive's much lower. Ebert was a fucking hound, wasn't he? I don't know, yeah. I don't know if we want to wade into that, necessarily. I wonder what he thought about Cher.

Yeah. I would have loved to know. Ebert would, I think, sometimes get a little horny in his writing. He Cher. Yeah. I would love to know. Ebert would, I think, sometimes get a little horny in his writing. He would. Yeah. I think Ebert would say Cher, I think

you give it one thumb up if it gets my drift. Jesus Christ. Just jack it off with one thumb. You know what I'm saying? One thumb is up. Yes, I understand. Yeah, we get it. We understand.

We got it. You jack it off, and then, OK. All right. Fine. Oh, what? Oh, I understand. Yeah, we get it. We understand. We got it. You just hack it off and then, okay. All right, fine. Oh, what? Oh, I crossed the line? I crossed the line. I don't like to speak ill of the dead, but. I mean, he was famously a horny guy.

He was a horny guy. I don't think we're speaking out of turn. No, no, no. He wrote a movie with Russ Meyer. That's true. 100% yes, yeah. You know, like you don't, if you're, you know, you don't do that if you're trying to keep your horniness

on the down low. Right. Like that's, you're putting it out, putting it way out there you don't do that if you're trying to keep your horniness on the down low. Right. Like that's, you're putting it out, putting it way out there. Have you watched that movie? I've never watched. Oh, it's great.

Is it really? It's weird, it's funny. Yeah. Wow, I gotta watch it. It's on the Criterion collection. Wow. And it has a comment. The Valley of the Dolls.

Yeah, the Valley of the Dolls, and he has a commentary track on it too, which is really fun to listen to. I know, but the commentary track. Have you watched it ever? Years ago, yeah. I haven't revisited it. I'd be interested by that commentary track though.

Cause it was one of the things that you would talk about is like, or what, like it was, I always thought it was an interesting thing. And I know there's more of that than you maybe think of, but like, cause like Park Jong-wook was like a film critic who became a director, right? Like that was kind of his path. Like it's like, but when you see someone who's a critic,

but they also like were working in film in some capacity, I don't know, it's always kind of his path. Like, it's like, but when you see someone who's a critic, but they also, like, were working in film in some capacity, I don't know, it's always kind of interesting. Yeah, I heard Jay Sherman's directing stuff now, which is pretty cool. Oh, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love to see his, like, artistic vision on this screen. Yeah, I think, I think, It Stinks,

the movie is coming out next year. That's, that sounds awesome. Yeah. Any other critic? The day is completely silent. Feverishly Googling Jay. Who is Jay Sherman? Well, I shouldn't say the deus is completely silent. The room, completely silent.

The world. Possibly the world. The world is silent. But I got it. Thank you. Jay Sherman. Do you know the critic? It stinks. You don't know Jay Sherman? I know it. No, I know it.

Oh, we know you. I know it. We understand what you're saying. We just didn't like it. Oh, that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. To be fair, I think I learned about it

from you doing impressions of it. That's probably what it is. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. And Siskel and Ebert were guests on a really good episode. That's right. Yes. They were playing themselves.

They really inspired that show. Yeah. The whole idea of being on a really good episode. They were the critics playing themselves. I mean, they really inspired that show. Yeah. The whole idea of being like a TV film critic. And they did an episode where they like break up. Yeah. And they sing songs really badly. It's actually pretty funny. It's a great episode.

And my old boss, Al Jean and Mike Reese were the creators of the. But did we ever ask you this? I mean, this is insane. It's a dumb question and we can edit this out, but are you partial to one or the other? I don't know if you asked me, I mean, I,

it's funny because I was always a big Ebert fan. Sure, yeah. His writing and, you know, like I just enjoyed him more as a kid, like because I could read his stuff online. Are you Chicago guy? No, I'm from New Jersey. Okay, yeah. So, but Ebert's stuff read his stuff online. Are you Chicago guy? No, I'm from New Jersey. Okay, yeah. So, but Ebert's stuff was more available online.

So I was kind of always gravitated to him, but then watching the show for the book, I kind of really began to appreciate, one, both of them together, but also Gene was really good on TV. Like, he did not give a shit who he was talking to. He would tell them to their face that he thought they sucked.

He like literally interviewed- Good thing he never was a guest on Doughboy as we've been in trouble. He interviewed Paul McCartney for his wonderful movie, Give My Regards to Broad Street. And he was like, he just insulted his movie to his face. He's like, you're a wonderful musician, but I wish I could say I like this movie, but I didn't.

And Paul McCartney, you could see, hasn't been told he has done anything bad in the last 30 years. And he's like, his brain malfunctions. He doesn't know how to process being told he did something bad. That's wild. It's incredible.

And that's not an isolated example that happened over and over. And I just love how, if you're a critic, you gotta be honest, you gotta be a truth teller. And that's not an isolated example that happened over and over. And I just love how, you know, if you're a critic, you gotta be honest, you gotta be a truth teller. And he really embraced that and really enjoyed that, frankly. I think it was with Carson was Siskel and Ebert and Chevy Chase were all on together pretty infamous before us. Oh, right, yes.

Yeah. And it was just after Three Amigos, or it was like opening weekend for Three Amigos and Chevy Chase was promoting it and Gene Siskel was just saying, that's a bad movie, I gotta let you know. They both did, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's sitting next to them.

Yeah, yeah. Which I disagree with them on. And it's funny when they would have takes where you're like, oh, that is, and has aged poorly. It's like a great movie, but not, no, a lot of times they were correct. Ebert's an interesting figure because I definitely read Ebert more.

Yes, he was more, I live in LA, and so like I'd read like the LA Times, like local critics, but like nationally, yeah, Ebert was much more available online and was a very online guy, like, an early online presence. But, like, it both, like, he both was very anti-video games, which I didn't care for, but also, like, he kind of got me into anime because he was so pro-anime, and he was one of the guys out there

talking about, like, Akira and Ghost in the Shell and Miyazaki films. Like he was like an early Western champion of like, this is great film, this is good art, this is stuff that anyone, you know, you can't see it, like Western animation is not making the equivalent thing. So like he was a great advocate for that.

So I don't know, I would say I was certainly a guy that was certainly very much of an Ebert kid. But yeah, they're great guys and it's a fascinating read and I like, there just is nothing like them in terms of how present they were in the culture anymore. Other than you guys, obviously. Other than us. Yes, yes.

Yes. What we do is just as important. I think that, imagine just having a show like that every week still that was that good. A Cisco, at the movies, every single, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know. Yeah, it just doesn't exist.

It just doesn't exist. I mean, there are podcasts. There's millions of movie podcasts, but the vibe of Cisco and Ebert where like they legitimately disliked each other. Yeah. And would fight constantly. Yes, I mean, great, Griffin Sims,

modern day Siskel and Ebert, but also- Great chemistry. But I was gonna say, just new movies talked about each week, which the world just doesn't even care that much anymore. We're talking about this new streaming movie, you know, who gives a shit. Yeah, also, what are you gonna put,

give Griffin Newman a 22 minute time limit? Yeah. How's it gonna work in syndication? That's a great point. Yeah. Just wouldn't happen. Yeah. Okay, let's talk about your ongoing feature.

Yeah. At the movies with Griffin Sims, like cutting into like the Super Bowl, it's going so long. Now entering day four of this episode of At the Movies, Griffin Sims. Your ongoing feature, Matt Singer is Stupid, which we talked about behind the paywall, and I really enjoy.

You eat movie tie-in menus, TV tie-in menus. I will say, and we should discuss this, because we ended up on different planets on the IHOP Indiana Jones menu, which we did an episode about in recent weeks. That's right. And you and Griffin, who went together, had a pretty negative experience. We went to an IHOP that was hidden,

and we were pretty happy with it. The theme was bad, but the food was good. The theme was nonsensical. Indiana Jones is the great circle, and we're doing square foods. It was nonsense. But it's my Glendale test. That IHOP, have we had a bad experience there?

It's a great IHOP. It's a great IHOP. Yeah. It's a good IHOP. Well, the downtown Brooklyn, not to put him on blast, the downtown Brooklyn IHOP, have we had a bad experience there? It's a great IHOP. It's a great IHOP. It's a good IHOP. Well, the downtown Brooklyn, not to put them on blast, the downtown Brooklyn IHOP, maybe not as good as the Glendale IHOP. Sometimes it can be execution, but I think there is something to,

when they try to have one of these promotions that they scale up nationally, it's like, yeah, you will get, I've certainly encountered that with Denny's. It was Denny's had the Beetlejuice menu, right? Yes, it did. Denny's Beetlejuice menu, I feel like, was all over the map. It was weird. Yeah, yeah will get, I've certainly encountered that with Denny's, it was Denny's had the Beetlejuice menu, right? Yes, it did. Denny's Beetlejuice menu, I feel like was all over the map. Was weird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I think sometimes that's part of the promotional calculus is like, or how effective it is, is how consistent can they make it nationally? Yeah, I mean, they're asking a lot sometimes. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, make four different kinds of stuffed French toast

or yeah, like Beetlejuice pancakes with icing and chocolate and sprinkles and. Yeah, they just had like different colored sprinkles at different Denny's locations. They also had like a life-size stand of Jeffrey Jones saying, come on in, which I thought was really strange. It was really disorienting. Yeah, disorienting.

Cause in the movie, he's already, you know, the top half of him is chopped off. The whole band was playing, the whole Fab Five that we mentioned earlier, they're all together playing in the lobby. Here's one of your recent ones that I read that I wanted to ask you about. Jack Link's red light, green light,

squid game beef jerky. Yeah. What is that? Like how do you arrive at a Squid Game beef jerky crossover? A great question, what is that? The red light, green light beef jerky. But like, I understand where the red light, green light, I understand what they were going for,

but like it just seems like such a distant connection from the Squid Game IP to get a Jack Link's beef jerky. And for all things to like do a tie in for, like the message of Squid Game IP to get to Jack Link's beef jerky. And for all things to like do a tie in for, like the message of Squid Game, does that really vibe with like, buy more beef jerky? Exactly, yeah, right.

Yeah, it just seems so bizarre. And it didn't taste any different than regular beef jerky either, which is another issue, a whole separate issue. I was watching YouTube last night. Cool. And, thank you. And the LA Try Guy, which I like, and I think you like it too. Cool. And, uh, thank you. And the LA Try Guy, which I like, and I think you like him too.

Uh, you know him, right? This guy here. Yeah, yeah. The LA Try Guy. Yeah. Uh, he went to the Netflix themed Vegas restaurant. I was reading about this. And that, it just seems like it's this place that you would want to try. I mean, look, I did have some tirade

on a past episode about Netflix, a bad company in many ways. Yeah, sure. But I was like, it would be interesting to go there and try it and I wonder how, my guess is that the food cannot be great, but they had a red light, green light, spinning wheel for chicken,

and like you would dip your chicken into whatever color came up or whatever. Oh, boy. And so the red was very hot and the green was, the red was very spicy and the green was not spicy. It seems like there's at least, I guess, some production value or some pizzazz with the Vegas installation.

I don't know how long it's gonna be there, if it's gonna be a pop-up or if it's gonna be a permanent fixture. The Vegas thing that I think is really weird is that, and we've talked about this, but the Taylor Sheridan steakhouse. You were mentioning this to me on our incredibly cool text thread with Griffin Newman.

The nerdiest ongoing conversation I have in my life is the three of us sending links to these idiotic things. Taylor Sheridan Steakhouse. Taylor Sheridan Steakhouse. Is Yellowstone Steakhouse? Yeah, it's like, I think it's like Pan crosses the entire Sheridan-verse. It's like got all of his different IP.

Wow. The Sheridan-verse. Yeah. Wow, and wait, it is themed? It's like a fancy, I forget exactly what the name is, but yeah, it's in the wind, it's fancy as shit, but Taylor Sheridan's brand is all over it. The 1923.

That's true. I went to the steakhouse in the wind, did I accidentally go to the Taylor Sheridan one? Let me look it up. You probably, because there's another steakhouse there, you probably didn't because it's pretty recent. I don't know when's the last time you went to Vegas. But-

It's a little bit dystopian, right? I mean, like, are you interested in going to the Netflix? I mean, a part of me thinks it would be good content, quote unquote, but yeah. I think that's the reason to go, and that's kind of the reason to do anything we do, right? Okay, so the Four Sixes Ranch Steakhouse is the takeover of the restaurant Tableau

within the Wynn Tower Suites. It is Sheridan, Taylor Sheridan, the ranch owner known for Yellowstone 1883 and 1923 has reignited the spirit of the American West through his compelling narratives. Four Sixes Ranch Steakhouse highlights prime steaks and cuts from Four Sixes Ranch. The menu uses only ingredients that are local to Texas

and have bold fiery flavors. This is so stupid. So since he did like a Western-y show and the 18, it was 1883 is the show? Yellowstone 1883, 1923. What's the new one he's got, the oil show? Oh, right. Lawman or something?

Right, and there's so many. Where there's that conversation with the daughter and the dad. Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob Thornton about like fucking or whatever. It's like a weird. It's Billy Bob Thornton like. Billy, yeah. Make sure he doesn't nut inside you is like basically what the conversation is.

It's bizarre. It's very bizarre. I loved it. Landman. Landman. That's what it is. Landman. Everyone's favorite Marvel hero.

Landman. It does seem like's what it is, land man. Everyone's favorite Marvel hero. Yeah. Land man. It does seem like a later Mega Man kind of guy, the bad guy, the land man. It'd be cool though, I bet you the result would be that you could shoot out little platforms you can jump on. Oh yeah, like you make little, like he creates land. He makes little land masses.

Mitch, that is pretty great. Thank you. Capcom, if you're listening, Capcom, He creates land. He makes little land masses. Mitch, that is pretty great. Thank you. Capcom, if you're listening, Capcom. A new good Mega Man game. I know they have, they've made them, but they are like in the classic style, right? They're the old school style. They're also hard.

I, yeah. I gotta refresh my memory on what the Mega Man franchise is in 2025. What was that side scroller one that where like you're jumping around and it's like, it was like the big great one that came out like a few years ago. Can you be less specific?

It's about depression or some shit in the end. Oh, Celeste. Celeste. I love Celeste. That's a great game. Yeah, like, make a Mega Man like Celeste, you know what I'm saying? Is that possible? Kind of in that style?

Can you make that for us right now? Oh yeah, all right, I'll whip it up. Great. And it is about depression or some shit, right? Isn't it at the end of it? It is, like that story I think has a really good, that game has a really good narrative. I love Celeste, I finished Celeste, I have a Celeste poster in my home office.

Know who I love? Mama Celeste. Celeste's mom. Yeah. The pizza lady. I always wanted Mama Celeste and the Red Baron to get together. Yeah, that would be cute.

That would be great. Taylor's Cut Inside Skirt Steak is their, oh, I guess one of their signature things. So they have a Taylor themed steak for $72. You know where I want to go in Vegas steakhouse? Golden, the Golden Steer. I've never been, that's a classic spot. Oh yeah, that's a classic spot.

That's a classic old steakhouse. What Taylor Sheridan TV show is that theme to? I mean, we're a movie, I suppose. I think it's about that one scene where Billy Bob Thornton's talking to his daughter. Let's talk about theme parks a little bit, because that's part of the impetus for your LA visit. You spent a couple of days in the Disney parks.

Yes, I did. You're going to the Universal parks. You've already been to Disney at this point? Yes, I have. OK. Took my kids. You're a theme park guy. I don't know if I want to be branded with that brush,

because I feel like that is an incredible name. There's like a negative connotation. I enjoy theme parks, absolutely. Right, you don't want to be the guy. You're an enthusiast. You're a fan. So you're a Disney adult, correct? That's exactly what I was worried about,

where this was going to go. Yes. OK, so you just were're a Disney adult, correct? That's exactly what I was worried about, where this was gonna go, yes. Okay, so you just were at the Disney park, so can I ask you a question? Yes. How bad is the Star Wars land and why is it so bad? We predicted this was gonna happen when we were waiting. Did you really? Yeah, we did, yes.

I hate to break it to you, my children loved it. They loved it. Look. They loved it. You're a smart man, I to you, my children loved it. They loved it. Look. They loved it. You're a smart man, I bet your children are smart, but like in general. There's a butt coming right now about how dumb my kids are.

In general, children as a whole are pretty dumb. I mean, you're not wrong. And so I'm like, anything start, but the kids really love Star Wars, and it's like a big, it's like, I feel like I could take them up into like the valley and show them like just like a desert hill, and it was the same difference as fucking Galaxy's Edge.

No, they were pretty into it. They loved flying the Millennium Falcon. They're wrong. I'll sit them down afterwards and tell them they're wrong, but they loved that. Can I be honest with you? Ground their asses. They loved the Rise of the Resistance ride.

OK. I understand that being more enjoyable. I think it still is, for what it is. I mean, we did the Millennium Falcon ride. They got to pilot, my two girls. They walk out. That's fun. Well, OK.

And now I also understand, if you're piloting, which all children should. That's the best job. That ride, I would say that it's undeniable that that ride sucks. I think the ride sucks. For a new ride, Star Tours is better than that ride. I have not ridden the ride, so I can't comment.

The 30-year-old ride is better. But I will say, I don't like having tasks when I'm doing it on a ride will say, I don't like having tasks when I'm doing it on a ride. I feel like too many, this is the new approach to ride design. Everything I feel like sends Buzz Lightyear, Astro Blasters in there like,

hey, we're gonna give you a task and you can succeed or fail. And I was like, that's not what I like about this experience. I like that it's a passive experience. Astro Blasters is like the only one that I enjoy. Astro Blasters is the best iteration of it, the best version of it. The Toy Story one too, where you shoot stuff,

whatever it is. Yeah, that one's all right. Midway Mania. Midway Mania is okay. It's funny that you say this because I took my kids, but my wife's family is with us and their son, I love checking in with him and getting his opinions, he's a little older.

And I asked him, what was your favorite? And he was like, we were talking about one of these rides, maybe it was Buzz Lightyear or whatever. And he was like, I just liked because, I liked it because I got to do something. The exact opposite of what we're saying. Because I tend to agree with you too. Like, I like to kind of be immersed

and be a little more like, let you, this is your job. You entertain me. You do the work. And he had the exact opposite take, which was like, I don't want to just sit here. Like, he liked, oh, he liked the Spider-Man ride at California Adventure because he got to shoot webs and do things. Interesting. Whereas, you know, the grownups,

now I actually love Spider-Man, so I'm not the right person to ask about this, but you know, my wife and they're like, I literally just sit there and do this with my hands. Like that's not a ride. That's like, you know, it's exhausting my arms. Right. But for a kid, it's like, I got to do something.

That's very funny. I wonder if that's like a generational thing of just like growing up with interactivity just like everywhere. It's just like, you know, you had the like tablets and video games, they're so omnipresent. I grew up with video games as well, but like it was like a very, it was not everywhere.

It was not, I didn't have a fucking slot machine in my pocket I carried with me. I'm still wondering if I even like Midway Mania. I do like Astro Blasters, but... I think Midway Mania is okay. It's okay. Oh, but we, I just wanted to say, so we came out of the Millennium,

they fly the Millennium Falcon. Yeah. We walk out the door, and Chewie is hanging out outside, inspecting the Millennium Falcon. Okay. Uh, my younger daughter is dressed like Princess Leia. Okay. And she's like, let's go, let's go meet him. He'll recognize me. The Millennium Falcon. My younger daughter is dressed like Princess Leia. And she's like, let's go meet him.

He'll recognize me. And we were like, OK, dear. And we walk up, and Chewie is like, rrrr. And he's like being sweet with her. He poses for this amazing picture with them. And I'm like, OK. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.

I'm sorry. Look. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. I'm sorry. Look, and kids are great, and look, I apologize to all kids for saying that you're all mostly dumb. They're not all mostly dumb. Kids like what they like. That's true. And in a way, I'm like a big kid, wise.

I'm very, I just am, I wear my heart on my sleeve with some of this stuff, but I think a part of the reason I don't Like it is one. I think it is boring, but two I think that That sucks. I do I think it sucks For what it could have been and also knowing that Disney executives or whatever The Disney the higher brass up there Disney like, we're cutting back on the cost of this. And you're like, you make the most money of anyone in the world.

You're basically a monopoly in the entertainment industry at this point, which sucks. They're one of the bad ones with Netflix. I know I shouldn't be talking about this, but it's the truth. They are bad. They pay horribly. They were trying to make the, when we went on strike,

our unions went on strike, they were, them and Netflix were the ones that were trying to, they were the ones that were holding out basically the whole time. I know your stance on Elon. Would you send a trade Bob Iger for Bin Laden? Bob Iger is a Ithaca alum, as Amelia's flashing her sweatshirt.

But yeah, I'd send him fucking to hell, fuck yeah. Bye, Iger. You know my stance, Iger out, Iger in. I love that stance. Wow. I'd fix that. You wanna go to hell? Yeah.

I just, for what it could've been, and also it's like, just their stances on stuff, it's like, it's gonna be all the new movies. Okay, bad idea. It's gonna, like, just their stances on stuff. It's like, it's going to be all the new movies. OK, bad idea. It's going to, like, the word, the- They got too precious about the timeline, about like- The timeline, which supposedly I think they're going to start changing.

Like, I heard something about, like, Luke Skywalker is going to be hanging out there now. But now you've got to, like, you've got to retrofit all this stuff into this world. And that's like, also, like, a land you don't care about. My idea, which I think was a great idea, which I told you, is that it should have been little parts of different lands of Star Wars.

I agree. There should have been like an Endor area. There should have been a Hoth area. Why not? Explore the different biomes. Jawas, walking around. There's like so much stuff you could have done. Mustafar, that's fun.

Mustafar. And then also, it was like a land issue. And it's like, you're Disney. You can make anything happen. Isn't that the point? That you can't, that was the, that's Walt's, he was the imagination man. He can make anything happen. And you're not following that rule throughout the park.

No. Because you've got Tarzan's tree house coexisting next to Indiana, the Indiana Jones ride. You clearly are not precious about maintaining an internal cannon within the grounds of the park. So like, who cares? Yeah, it's a bummer to me. And also even the Cantina,

it's become such a thing of like, it should be much bigger, there should be way more interactive stuff in there, there should be people behind the bars, there should be character actors. There should be- People should be fighting. People should be fighting.

There should be killed, perhaps. How about some Twi'lek dancers for dad? Hello. I mean. Hello. You're not wrong. You should, like, and now it's like, go in, you order 220, and then there's a time limit, and you gotta leave, and it's like,

it should be like more of like a sit down. It should be huge, it should be huge, like so much, it should be like five times bigger than it is. But anyways. We're gonna make the Cantina bigger, folks. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Don't make me love that guy more. Ha ha ha!

I will, uh... It's too small. Cantina's too small. Ha ha ha! I, you know, I think you do make some good points. Thank you. And I will sit my children down after I get home and say, I know you said it was the best day of your life and it was so cool, but I'm sorry.

You are wrong and dumb and... They'll get it. Once they get to 40, they'll understand. They'll understand. Sit down. When you're 40, you'll understand how wrong you are. Was it their favorite part of the park, would you say? Oh, by far.

Wow. By far. That's wild. By far, yes. I wonder if that's the case. Maybe it is. Maybe all kids love it. And I am just, I'm just, I'm off here.

Yeah. But did you, did you ride Tiana's? We did. How was it? It was, it was pretty good. I- I'm sad that I didn't catch you there on one of my protest days.

Yeah. I was, I was in the back of the vlog or whatever. Yeah. And so I stayed dry. I was in the back of the log or whatever. And so I stayed dry. My wife and my daughter were in the front and it literally looked like they had been like dunked, submerged against their well underwater. They were soaked. So they didn't like it as much.

How was the ride? I have not ridden the ride yet. I mean, it's the same ride. It's just got, yeah, it's got like, there's no story, I guess. I don't know how much. Why isn't there a story in Tiana's Bayou Adventure? Like, I don't know how much that really matters,

but it's just like you're floating along and there's some nice music and then there's a cool drop and if you're in the front, I guess you, you know, it's miserable, watery experience, but pleasant. I remember the thing we've heard from podcast that rides Mike Carlson is that the scary is gone. It is not scary. That is true. That's the one thing,

because I did like the ominous feeling you had going up that drop when you were on the old version. And so that's maybe, I don't know, that's maybe muting that a little bit is feels like a miscalculation. Yeah, it's probably a little better for kids, I guess. But again, we've established they're dumb and they don't have good opinions.

So maybe that was a mistake perhaps. I do not think your children are dumb. I doubled down. I'm sure you're... It's all right. No, no, no, no, no. I'm around. I mean, look, I chose to be here to get away from them, so clearly, you know, you might

not be that far off. I sometimes try to be a rabble rouser on this podcast, and sometimes I might go a little too far. So I've been looking, I've been a little bit buried in the Wikipedia for Mega Man games because the Mega Man franchise is so sprawling. But I think, you know, if you're getting rid of, like, omitting mobile games, because obviously there's the mainline Mega Man franchise,

there's the Mega Man X franchise, there's the Mega Man Legends franchise, which is dormant, there's a bunch of different ones that have, you know, gotten productions. What was your favorite Mega Man? X? Or X, isn't X2 also on? I am, I mean, the Xs are good, but I have so much nostalgia for Mega Man 2 specifically. or X, isn't X2 also on? I am, I mean, the Xs are good,

but I have so much nostalgia for Mega Man 2 specifically, because I feel like Mega Man 2 really perfected the formula established in Mega Man in the same way that like sometimes a video game sequel just absolutely, it's like the Dark Knight. It's just like, oh, you know exactly what worked about this and you just have, or have executed a better version that gets to kind of skip the less fun parts.

Like you just know how to make this thing at this point. I think Mega Man 2 is just so well realized. But the last mainline Mega Man was back in 2018, Mega Man 11, and that was another one with the retro aesthetic, Mitch. Right. You remember, you and I both remember when Mega Man 10 came out, and that was a big deal

because Mega Man 10 is like, oh wow, I guess Mega Man 9 and 10 in short succession, those were games that looked like the old Famicom NES games and played like them too. Yeah, they were tough as nails. Mega Man 11 was another attempt at that that I didn't really spend a lot of time with, but it was well regarded.

But no land man in any of those games. No land man as far as I can tell. No land man. Let me look up actually- There's definitely an Earth character, right? Remember Woodman? Woodman, yes. Oh, but Woodman's from Mega Man too.

Cut Man? Cut Man, yeah. Cut Man's Mega Man 1, yeah. Sheep Man, wasn't Sheep Man one of those? Sheep Man comes a little bit later, yeah, hold on. Now I gotta look at the Mega Man Robot Masters. We got cookies to discuss, but you got me on attention here. Yeah, we can't spend too much time

on the Mega Man Robot Masters. Okay, hold on. So- On account of the cookies we have to talk about? How about, yeah. You know what? Kids are not, the kids are pretty smart, comparatively. The podcast that talks about cookies and Mega Man bosses.

Mega Man 11, which was the 81st through 88th of his Robot Masters, Dr. Wiley's robot masters. Block man, fuse man, blast man, acid man, tundra man, torch man, impact man, and bounce man. So we're not far off from land man, honestly. There was a ground man who was established, concrete man, that's pretty close. Yeah, sheep man is Mega Man 10, Mitch.

So that was a recent one. The head guard hunks call me Blast Man because they hear me going to the bathroom all the time. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Concrete Man is like what a Karen calls like a construction worker. Get that Concrete Man to be quiet. What's your name? Tell me your name. Concrete Man. Concrete Man. Now I want to play Mega Man again. Seven years since the last one. It's time.

Yeah. Is there a new one coming? Is it seven years since the last one? I thought there was a new one. Yeah, 2018 was Mega Man 11. I thought there was a new one. Yeah, 2018 was Mega Man 11. I thought there was a new one. I thought there was like a recent one or maybe one that's coming out. I mean, there may have been a remaster.

I'm probably forgetting something that happened, but I think the last mainline entry was Mega Man 11. You never made the jump to 3D, huh? No, there was the Mega Man Legends were 3D. They play decent games. Oh, I never played them. Are they decent or no? Decent, yeah.

Misadventures of Tronbond's fun. I feel like Metroid shows that any game could be, when Metroid Prime came out, you're like, oh, any game I guess could just be 3D if we wanted to. Yeah, I mean, everyone was so skeptical of Metroid Prime, but that game works so well. The rules. Yeah, it's really, really good.

Let's talk a little bit about pro wrestling before we get into the business fields. Because I know there's another thing, I know you're a fan of the squared circle. Yes, I am. The subreddit, the squared circle. I mean, I do look at that. I'm crazy. So do I.

Yeah, I look at it as well. Yeah. Do you have any all time favorites? Do you have any current feds you're following? I watch AEW, that's the one I like. I mean, my favorite guy these days is Orange Cassidy. Oh, hell yeah. I think he is fabulous. Yes, yeah. I just think that's the one I like. I mean, my favorite guy these days is Orange Cassidy. Oh, hell yeah. I think he is fabulous.

Yes, yeah. I just think he's the funniest. Orange Cassidy for non-wrestling fans is I think is very often like someone that anyone can go to a wrestling show and appreciate his just commitment to physicality. Yeah, just YouTube like Orange Cassidy, watch one of his, really his older stuff even,

is even better. Yeah, he's like, his character is Paul Rudd from Wet Hot American Summer as a wrestler. That's his entire character. It's great. And he just wears denim, he wears sunglasses, and he's just very relaxed. Mm-hmm.

And... He puts his hands in his pockets. He puts his hands in his pockets, but he's actually like, that's the gimmick of him, is that he's actually a really good wrestler. Yeah. He's like, he acts like it's very, him, is that he's actually a really good wrestler. Yeah. He's like, he acts like it's very, like, oh, I don't want to do this.

But then he'll turn it on and he'll do flips. And he's just like, he's like a, I mean, a lot of wrestling, I think, is like physical comedy. People don't really look at it that way, because it's, you know, we're very macho and buff and, but a lot of it is like physical, it's, you know, it's physical storytelling. It's like an action movie,

it's choreographed in some ways. It's vaudeville. It's vaudeville. It's what I like about the Minions. That's the thing that with Blue Wags and I were when we went to PWG. Yeah, where we seen Orange Cassidy at PWG. Yeah, it was just that sort of thing of like,

man, these guys are so funny, and they do such a good job with their bodies. It's like when Joe came on, and I complimented Samoa Joe. Sure, he's great. He's the best. And I was just like, when you watched him on set, and he was just like doing very Marx Brothers type stuff. He was just walking down a hallway,

and you're like, oh, man, that's so fucking cool. And I'm like, I don't do that. I just fucking loaf down the hallway. You know what I mean? Fucking sucks. Yeah. He's awesome. I mean, he could, he's, I mean, I've never met him in person.

But he looks so intimidating, but he can also be hilariously funny. Just like, people will jump at him in a match, and he'll just move out of the way, like, casually. Like, that's one of his, like, kind of repertoire of moves, is to defeat someone by just being aware that they're gonna jump at him and just side-stepping slightly. I always, I mean, I've said this to you,

but like, I could tell on days, because it was like long days and be tough days, and when Daysley Joe was annoyed, and I said it to him, he'd be tell on days, because it was long days and be tough days. And when days that Joe was annoyed, and I said it to him, he'd be like, well, I'm just not going to talk to you today. Because he's an intimidating man. We've said this. It's like, when you shook his hand,

it feels like a boy shaking like a 40-year-old man's hand when I was a kid. Just having my small hand, he could easily crush my bones if he wanted to. And you got some baseball mitts on you. I got baseball mitts, and I still feel like, I feel like a little wimp next to that guy. He's incredible. It's like that old-

And also the kindest, he's so, the nicest dude in the world. Lovely man, yeah. Been very good to the Doughboys. Some would say too good. Yeah, it's got better things to do. It's got much better things to do, yeah. It's, yeah, like, do you's got much better things to do, yeah. It's a, yeah. Do you get to make it out to shows ever?

I know you've got a family. Yeah, sometimes. I've been to, I mean, you were talking about PWG, which is like, I don't think it's really even around anymore. No, they've stopped running it, I think, partly because of the rise of AEW. A lot of that indie talent has been absorbed into AEW. Yeah, so I never, like, I would have loved

to have gone to one of those. Those were like the mecca of cool shows at the time. If they come back, you get a... Carlson said there was rumblings of them coming back. It's such a great night whenever we would do... When we were going a lot, back in the day... Back in Rosita, yeah. It was fantastic.

I went to a few of those. I have some, like, blu-rays of those shows. They seem really fun. But yeah, I've been to, like, AW shows in New York. They do shows at Arthur Ashe, on to a few of those. I have some like Blu-rays of those shows. They seem really fun. But yeah, I've been to like AEW shows in New York. They do shows at Arthur Ashe, which are a lot of fun. I went to a few of those. Oh yeah, I'm a super, I'm a nerd in so many different ways. Are you checking in on WWE at all anymore?

Just have moves to Netflix? Yeah, sometimes, but I don't know. I think just the style of AEW, I kind of just appreciate a lot of those guys like the Kenny Omegas, the Young Bucks, like that style of, you know, they have like a more athletic style, I suppose. I hope some people, I don't know,

Samoa Joe is now in AEW, but I'm just worried someone from WU is gonna be like, he's making this thing, we're not athletic. Oh no, I mean- Let's get him. I will watch WU just for Chad Gable, who is like the most athletic guy in the world, yeah. Yeah, I'll casually turn on, I mean, let's get him. I will watch WWE just for Chad Gable, who is like the most athletic guy in the world. He's great, yeah. I mean, there's, yeah, I'll casually turn on,

I guess, I don't know, who has time to follow one wrestling federation, much less two? Yeah, that's the awesome thing. It absorbs so much of your time. I find myself, I fall off of, and I do like AEW quite a bit, but I fall off of it during the NBA season, because I'm like, how much sports or sports entertainment can one man watch, you know? But then there are also people who are just like, I'm watching New season because I'm like how much how much sports or sports entertainment can one man watch you know but then there are also people

who were just like I'm watching New Japan I'm watching they're watching fucking everything I've been to New Japan shows those are fun too yeah oh yeah pathetic yeah house in Japan which we've talked about that where they give you the jacket Rivera steak house which I've heard is that steakhouse. Oh yeah, what's it called? Yes. Where they give you the jacket. Ribera Steakhouse. Yeah, which I've heard is not great, but still I wanna eat that. Well, we're big wrestling fans. Yeah.

But you haven't watched it. Once again, what's the NBA season's going? I'm just distracted by all the games and all the transactions. You're gonna go in March though, right? AEW is coming to March. Oh yeah. Oh well, whatever. I'm notW is coming to March. Oh, well, whatever. I'm not gonna force you to go.

No, I was planning on going. All right. I just thought it was something we were maybe gonna tease, but yeah. Oh, okay. But we can edit the shit out. I don't give a shit. It doesn't matter.

Should we talk about, we gotta talk about cookies, but should we talk about our recent trip to Legacy Effects at all? Cause Casey was there. Sure. I just thought it was very cool. It was great. It was great.

Shout out to Damon who told us he was a listener, showed us around. It was a very, very incredible, just like seeing all that practical stuff that they build over there. I had a blast. They do great work, yeah. We see some secrets maybe?

Possibly. Yeah, maybe. Some of us saw secrets. You missed the secrets. I missed the one secret. Did we see secrets? We didn't actually. I missed the one secret and Did we see secrets? We didn't, actually. I missed the one secret, and I was like, did it look like this?

And you guys were like, yeah. I was like, oh, I don't give a shit. We won't say what the secret was, but I did miss the big secret. There's other secrets that I saw. It's always, you weren't there. I'd never been there before, yeah. And the last time I went, I saw the alien from,

I saw stuff from Romulus last time I was there, yeah. But pre-Romulus. Pre-Romulus. And then Romulus came out and you're like, hey, it's that thing. Hey, it's that thing. Yeah. I was not enjoying myself at the movie,

but their work always looks good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they do incredible work over there. Yeah. It was a very cool experience. Hey, yeah. No, they do incredible work over there. Yeah. It was a very cool experience. Hey buddy, Mitch, sky's out, thighs out. You know, I like to show a little bit of leg with some high inseam shorts and hey,

that's why I love Chubbies. That's right, Deacon, we all like to see that leg. With a variety of bright and comfortable polos and high quality thigh exposing shorts, Chubbies has the styles to fit whatever spring vibe you're going for. Back in the gym, Chubbies has the ultimate training shorts for you. Looking for a more casual, comfortable fit for an outdoor brunch or a walk in the park? Chubbies Original Shorts gives you that classic feel with a modern look. And get this, they've even got

everywhere shorts designed for performance and casual vibes at the same time. Maybe miracles are possible. Likes experience unmatched comfort and style with chubbies iconic original stretch shorts. Hey, I got a few pair of those depending on how much thigh you're looking to show chubbies makes them in four inch five and a half inch and seven inch in seams. I like the four inch but for me the 5.5 inch is the sweet spot. These shorts have the stretchiest fabric for ultimate movability and flexibility while maintaining a perfectly tailored fit. Featuring an elastic waistband with button fly which means they're very very comfortable. Enjoy the classic men's khaki style with the added comfort of elastic. Pair the original stretch shorts with chubby's lineup of Friday shirts and now you're cooking with gas. I also lineup of Friday shirts, and now you're cooking with gas! I also got some Friday shirts.

Well, now you're cooking with gas, Wags. I sure am. From casual button-downs to retro-inspired prints, these shirts are built to kick back, turn up, chill out, party down, and some fifth direction-based descriptor. Got your new shorts lined up for spring? If not, check out their Everywhere Performance Short. Chubby's Everywhere Shorts feature quick-drying, four-way stretch fabric, an elastic waistband, and a secret hidden pocket. Good for you. And if you thought the deal couldn't get any sweeter, prepare to be proven wrong in

the best way possible for a very limited time only during the Chubby's Spring Break Sale. All shorts and swimwear is 35% off with select styles up to 65% off. Now that's how you do Spring Break. So head over to ChubbyShorts.com and take advantage while you can. Make sure you support our show and tell them we sent you when the survey asks. Don't blend in with the crowd. Stand out with Chubby's. Hey buddy, whether you use nicotine to enhance focus, boost your energy, or relax, there's a Lucy Perfect for you. 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco-free.

Lucy Breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise. Each pouch holds a capsule that can be broken up to release extra flavor and hydration. Lucy pouches pack up to 12 milligrams of nicotine. They're sure to satisfy even the most demanding nicotine routines. Set yourself up with a subscription and have Lucy delivered straight to your door. Mitch, you and I have a buddy who loves Lucy. Uh, I know they love the mint flavor. I know they love the berry citrus flavor.

Let's just say they're a member of the Quincy crew. Mitch. Let's, let's just say their name rhymes with Raymondi. And I know that Raymondi, uh, likes to go with the lower strength cause you can go up to 12 milligrams, but just the two milligrams can be enough if you just want to kind of that mellow feeling, if you just want to relax, which is how Ramondi uses it.

That's right, yeah. Well, Wigs, let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy. Go to lucy.co slash doughboys and use promo code doughboys to get 20% off your first order. That's lucy.co slash doughboys and use promo code doughboys to get 20% off your first order. Lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind. Again, that's lucy.co and use code doughboys to get 20% off. And here comes the fine print. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine.

Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Let's talk about Mrs. Fields. Mrs. Fields was founded by the eponymous Debbie Fields in 1977. Shout out to Ben Simpson, by the way, for bringing us. Shout out to Ben Simpson, a true champ. It was founded by Debbie Fields in 1977 in Palo Alto. Mrs. Fields was only 21 years old when the first store opened. Wow. Sold the brand to a group of investors in 1992, I believe. It merged

with frozen yogurt chain, This Can't Be Yogurt, aka TCBY in 2000. Company was then sold to private equity firms, eCapital Partners, who may have resold it at this point, but it's under private equity ownership as all these chains are and it has over 300 locations between Mrs. Fields and TCBY worldwide. Now Mitch, I mentioned this in my intro, which I know you never listened to, but I'll say it here because I think this is really fascinating context. There was a time in the 1970s when at the same time, the Oakland Athletics, which were founded I think in 1968, 1969.

The moneyball team. when at the same time, the Oakland Athletics, which were founded, I think, in 1968, 1969. So they were... The Moneyball team. They were pretty, yeah, they would later be the team of Moneyball. But they were... They changed the MLB. They sure did. And they changed culture in a lot of ways because...

Scott Hattaberg. That's right, Mitch. Mm-hmm. Did you just watch the movie? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the movie? Scott Hatterberg played by, was it played by Chris Pratt? I think so. Hatterberg, Chris Pratt? Wow. I think it was.

My old friends. So that book's a great read, by the way. It's really good. I saw the movie. I knew it. I also followed baseball so much during this time that I read everything about it. I read the book Teammates about the Red Sox players. Oh, how about that?

Yeah, you should check that out. Yeah. Halberstam, I think, wrote it. No? Do you know? That sounds right. David Halberstam. David Halberstam.

So in the early 1970s, there was a period for the Oakland A's who were a recent expansion team where- Moneyball. Yep. That's right, Mitch. Have you seen the movie lately? I actually have not. I have not rewatched that movie since theaters, probably.

I have not seen Moneyball forever. Billy Bean. Billy Bean, that's right. The GM of the Oakland A's. They renamed the character. Changed baseball forever. Jonah Hill's character. Jonah Hill's character is a, they renamed in the movie

because he was so, like, the a they renamed in the movie because he was so like though I guess in the in the real story he was either of I can't remember in the book he was a former baseball player himself but he was like I think a much different type of guy and so when they made the movie there's like well you know let's just rename him that's funny yeah he wasn't like a big fat guy that like like a more athletic guy. He was like another Billy Beane. Sure, but like also baseball is the one

where you can be like a- You can be, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true. Babe Ruth, one of the most famous swags. That's true. Another guy, Kevin Euclid is a big part of that, the Greek god of walks. That's right.

He was, just to give people more insight into moneyball. So anyway, this is- On base percentage actually meant a lot. That's the thing, okay? Right, right? A walk is the same as a hit. That is true. And if you don't, you never get out, you can play the game forever.

So the main thing you should be, your main goal should be avoiding out. Anyway, but this was decades before moneyball, Mitch. This was in the early 1970s before analytics had come to baseball, when the game was perhaps a little bit more pure. Yes, Nick, you're right. And also that poor executive that had to be played

by Jonah Hill, as you're implying, who was much more in shape. I'm just standing up for big guys who have to play. I'm sure, oh, sorry, Brad Pitt couldn't, I'm sure Billy Bean was so upset about Brad Pitt playing. I think Billy Bean was like a hunk. Billy Bean was like a very handsome, like former baseball player.

But I think they were kind of like, in a movie sense, having another one of those guys doesn't maybe, you know, should be a different, should be a little bit more contrast. Look, I can jacket to it. Anyway. You want to come here twice? Billy Bean?

I mean, Brad Pitt as Billy Bean. Oh, Brad Pitt. You can jacket. Look, to Moneyball the movie, you can jacket to it. There's no doubt. I'm watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, and I'm like, I can't jacket to this. And he gets up on the roof, you can jacket to it. There's no doubt. I'm watching, you know, I'm watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and I'm like, I can't jacket to this. And he gets up on the roof, takes his shirt off.

I can jacket to that. Anyway, so... Anyway. 1970. The Oakland Athletics. Go on. At the same time, working as a Batboy was the man who would become MC Hammer, and working as a ball girl was the woman who would become Mrs. Fields.

Oh my God. MC Hammer and Mrs. Fields were working together. And they were both in the same position. And they were both in the same position. And they were both in the same position. the man who would become MC Hammer and working as a ball girl was the woman who would become Mrs. Fields. Oh my God. MC Hammer and Mrs. Fields were working together

for the Oakland A's organization as on field talent. Isn't that wild? I ship those two. Is that what it's called, shipping? Yeah, you can ship them. I ship those two. A team of destiny. It is a team of destiny.

That's wild. You might be also, bitch, you might also be shipping yourself and Mrs. Fields'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world.

I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world.

I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm going to be the best in the world. I'm my own catchphrase wrong. I can crank it to that. She's a looker.

Wags, you made a joke, is there a Mr. Fields? And I think I would ask that question. She's very, very pretty. Did I make that joke? In the kitchen. Was that me? I think you made that joke. Yeah, you made that joke.

Is there a Mr. Fields? No. No? Because I almost said, Mitch, it might be you when you see a picture of Mrs. Fields, but I knew Wags was going to show it to you on the episode, so I didn't say it. You said, is there a Mr. No? Because I almost said, Mitch, it might be you when you see a picture of Mrs. Fields, but I knew I was just going to show it to you on the episode, so I didn't say it. You said, is there a Mr. Fields?

I said, you ate all the cookies and you feel good, and you said, I'm not feeling too good, Mrs. Fields. I was doing the Avengers end game. Oh, yeah, the Avengers line, right. Yeah. I don't think I said that. Did you say that? Is there a Mr. Fields?

Maybe I did say that. It might have been Matt. Oh, maybe it was you. Maybe I did say that. There's another one. That's her working for the team. Jesus Christ. Oh, so it was you. I did say that. There's another one. That's her working for the team. Jesus Christ.

Also, that's clearly an underage. She's like. What? Everyone is showing me pictures. Everyone show me horny pictures today. I wish I had some on my phone. What is that? Is that hers?

Everyone pull up your horny feels. Everyone take a horny picture. It's Mrs. Fields? Yeah, it's Mrs. Fields. Yeah. No, no more horny picture. It's Mrs. Fields? Yeah, it's Mrs. Fields. Yeah. No, no more horny pictures. I got the crank bank spilled. I don't need any more. So, we talked about a few different chains that we could do here.

Mrs. Fields was one of the ones you pitched. It's remarkably a chain that we've never covered in close to 500 episodes of Doughboys. I don't know how we've missed Mrs. Fields, Mitch, but this is our maiden voyage to Mrs. Fields was one of the ones you pitched. It's remarkably a chain that we've never covered in close to 500 episodes of Doughboys. I don't know how we've missed Mrs. Fields, Mitch, but this is our maiden voyage to Mrs. Fields. Yeah, I don't get it. Do you have our maiden fields trip, if you will? Do you have a-

Wait, didn't you steal that from the box? I stole that from the box. You stole it from the box. They make that joke on the box of cookies. Fucking, you hack, you stole a bit. Carlos Mencia of stealing stuff from boxes. Wow, the box joke thief, I love it. What made you think, like why Mrs. Fields?

Do you have any sort of affection for this chain? A little bit actually, I actually. I mean, the... Wow. I mean, I'm surprised. I am surprised. Well, the reason why is one of the things that we got is something that I just like immediately, when I saw that name, I thought of,

which was the cookie cake. Yes. As a kid, and this may be a hot take, it may not just be my kids that are dumb, it may be me. I, like a cookie cake was my favorite cake as a kid. It's a good, it's a fun cake. I would rather have like a cookie cake than like a birthday cake.

Especially like- Wow. I'll be honest with you. Sounds like you were a dumb kid. Yeah. I'd like, especially like, I don't like a chocolate cake. Too much, I like a vanilla cake okay. I agree with you there. I like a vanilla cake.

I like the actual cake is vanilla. Yeah, yes. And vanilla dough, I guess. And then a- Or yellow cake. Or yellow cake. Yellow cake. But I like chocolate frosting on there.

I also will go ice cream cake over a cookie cake. I do like an ice cream cake. Ice cream cake is fun. So I love the Mrs. Fields cookie cake as a kid. And I would ask for it for like birthdays or like, and I have like a weird vivid memory of like for my brother's birthday one year, going to the mall where there was the Mrs. Fields cookie,

the Freehold Raceway Mall in Freehold, New Jersey, where I grew up. Wow. And going and picking it up like with my mom, cause I was like so excited for, I would go with her to pick it up. Yeah. And then I used to work in that mall later when I was a teenager, I worked at a comic book store.

Yet another- What year were you talking about? This is now the late 90s into the early 2000s. Okay, moneyball period. Moneyball period, that's what I always call it. And I was like, end of high school, into college. Like summers, I would work at this comic book store in the mall, and like, if it was a really shitty day, I would go and get Mrs. Fields' cookies afterwards.

I love it. So I actually, I haven't had it since then, probably. But when I saw it, I'm like, does it still exist? Which is maybe not a good sign for Mrs. Fields. But when I was like, oh, it does, I was like, oh, that would be fun. Is it cookies that are now, can you get Mrs. Fields' cookies in the grocery store? Is that like? are now, like, can you get Mrs. Fields cookies in the grocery store?

Is that, like? So it seems like, I don't think they have grocery store distribution. OK. It seems like what they have is they have their old standby mall stores, and they're also trying to scale up a, like, nationwide delivery system. Sure.

But I will say, like, their online infrastructure is just crude compared to like insomnia or crumble. They do not have those those companies were designed from the ground up for apps and there's not the equivalent with Mrs. Fields. In fact, it's even a little cumbersome to figure out how to order something for in store to the point Amelia where I think you couldn't even do that. Right. You just had to go in person. How did that all work out? Yeah, the pickup time was too late. Right. The earliest pickup time available.

So I just went in store and ordered it. Right. Which we'll talk about in a second. But yeah, I would say Mrs. Fields for me was a thing where I liked it as a kid. And then I got, it's been at least 20 years, maybe longer since I've had a Mrs. Fields cookie. But it was a thing.

It was just like, oh yeah, it's there. Do I want that? Do I want that? Do I want Cinnabon? You know, what do I want to be my little mall treat while I'm out shopping with my folks? I don't have too much affection for this place. I didn't. A What's O'Pretzel maybe is another option?

Yes, I keep going. What's O'Pretzel? I mean, like that, more so Auntie Anne's that we had. Auntie Anne's was the pretzel at the freehold Raceway Mall. Like, that's, yeah. Auntie Anne's was in the mall in the South Shore Plaza. That's what, and I don't think there was in Mr. Fields. Maybe there was, but like it wasn't a place that I would go to often.

I know there was also Diddy Reese's out here, Wags. Diddy Reese's, yeah, which I think is just a single store, but it's a great cookie. Oh, it's just a single store. I think so. I think there are multiple Diddy Reese's. Because I know that Diddy Reese's is pretty good. That was like the thought of we were eating these cookies and feeling very sick very pretty quickly.

They were very sugary cookies. I mean, they are, they're sugary cookies. And that's when the Waggers end game, when I said, Mrs. Fields, I'm not feeling too good. Is what is the line? Mrs. Fields, I'm not feeling too good. I'm not feeling too good, Mrs. Fields. No, I think the name comes first.

And the name, oh, okay. What is it, Mr. Stark? Isn't it? Or is it about the other way? This is the most memorable line in all of Marvel. Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good. I don't feel so good, Mr. Stark.

So you were having this moment with the cookies, as we all were, and I was like, oh, I don't know how I feel about these. But then I was like, but also do I care about the other, the what is the, the, the crumble? Crumble, yeah. I'm like, is this better than crumble? This is what I was trying to think.

I'm like, do I like this better than crumble? And I actually don't know if I do. Well, this is one of those things where what's difficult to evaluate about a place like this is our eating experience was not at all what a normal Mrs. Fields eating experience is. Now you can go to like a, hey, we're gonna go review a claim jumper,

like a big sit down chain restaurant, and we can have a big meal there, but it still approximates your experience of a normal chain claim jumper visit, or Cheesecake Factory to be a more known chain. But like here, it's like, this is not what, you don't get like 20 cookies from Mrs. Fields and eat like, you know, eight of them a piece. This is not what, you don't get like, like 20 cookies from Mrs. Fields and eat like,

you know, eight of them a piece. This is not what the experience is normally. And so we all felt a little bit insane. Yeah, no, definitely. And sick, like just disgustingly sick. Yeah, no, I still don't feel good. And also like the sugar, it's happened on the show when we eat like a bunch of sugar stuff like this

and then we feel insane for the episode. I think that we paced ourselves maybe a little bit better with this. But I do think that Crumble probably has like, there is like a high-end cookie that I will like there, but the issue is finding it in the sea of cookies that they have. Because they're constantly rotating inventory.

They have like new specials every week, and you know, that's part of the part of why people like that place is the novelty of I'll get to get to try another new flavor. But like a lot of them just don't hit. And a lot of classics here. But I'm like, if I went by Crumble and I went by Mrs. Fields and I picked like one

of the three cookies I would have wanted to have at Mrs. Fields, which today I was like clocking it. I was like, that one, this one, and this one. These are the three that I would pick. And I was like, they're pretty good. And then at Crumble, I'm like, would the same thing happen where I would get a cookie that I actually liked? Mrs. Fields is way more just like classic,

kind of boring cookies. Crumbles are, you know, crazier. There's crazier cookies at Crumble's, at Crumble, but I, I'm going insane. But I can't tell, maybe I would want to Mrs. Fields more than I would want to crumble. I can't tell, honestly. I've had people have like given me crumble cookies

and I've eaten them. This is a good cookie. Yeah. I've also like gone to a crumble and had like a not good experience. Like I walked in there with my two kids and I mean, not to call my kids dumb, but, I mean, they had certain things that they wanted.

And, like, you know, I had to, like, order on a computer instead of talking to a human being, and then waited, like, with cranky kids there for, like, 10 minutes. And then after 10 minutes, they walked up and said, oh, we're all out of the cookie you ordered, but we have this other cookie, would you like that? And it's like, do you understand

how a seven year old's brain works? You can't offer one cookie and then give them another. I might as well have said, well, we don't have chocolate chip, would you like poison instead? Like that's literally the, like what I, you know. And everyone at the Door Boys, we will take the poison cookie.

It was just, it was just like not user friendly. Yeah, I guess for us, if we're all out of ookie cookie, would you like a poison cookie. It was just like not user friendly. Yeah. I guess for us, if we're all out of oaky cookie, would you like a poison cookie is probably. Jesus Christ. That wasn't on the menu at Crumble that particular week. Yes. I know Crumble, they, yeah.

They all turn it in. That's a limited time off. You saw Nick and I walking away with big bags of oaky cookies. I just, I wonder if there's like a, maybe a medium, like crumble, like can be really good. And also sometimes you can look at the flavors and be like, I don't want any of these, you know?

Here's what's been left out of this discussion. And it's being presented as a binary. The third way, insomnia. Insomnia is the sweet spot. Insomnia has its order. We did bring this up and you said shh. Yeah. So we did bring up insomnia.

Don't talk about it. And I'm gonna say that thing on the box. Don't say that either. Insomnia, I am in hindsight being like, insomnia is maybe, maybe insomnia is the top of the cookie brand. I think probably for right now, I think that's the one that where you're most,

you can get like just a regular ass cookie that is good. It's not a pain in the ass to order from. But also it's another place like Crumble where it's not geared towards storefronts. It's not geared towards I'm gonna go to the, cause this is the thing about Mrs. Fields. It's like an impulse. It's like, oh, a Mrs. Fields cookie,

I'll have one of those. You know, while you get your bag of hot topic or whatever the fuck. And then you're gonna sit down the food court and you, oh, a Mrs. Fields cookie, I'll have one of those. You know, while you get your bag of Hot Topic or whatever the fuck, and then you're gonna sit down in the food court and you're gonna have a Mrs. Fields cookie, you're gonna have a nice time. And Insomnia and Crumble are much more like, this is an experiential thing, this is a-

For delivery apps. Yeah, this is for delivery, this is your stoned, or this is your, it's your friend's birthday. And all you Gen Z babies, you can get your milk and cookies delivered right to your dorm room. You make me sick. You need your ba-ba with your milk to your dorm room? Throw the fuck up.

Insomnia, the point is insomnia is not like a maltreat. Mrs. Fields is a maltreat. It's more of a piece, again, with Auntie Anne's, as you mentioned, if you get like a sweet cinnamon pretzel from there, or Wetzel's the West Coast equivalent, or, you know, like a fucking Cinnabon. That's like what I think of when I think of Mrs. Field's category. And I know those aren't other cookie chains,

but I don't know. I mean, they're all really accomplishing the same sort of thing. Back in my day, moneyball days. Back in the moneyball days, we had to walk to get our ba-ba milks. Okay. And then we'd go to Disney.

We'd ride Splash Mountain. Okay. It just makes me sick, Wiggs. You got your cookies delivered to you today though. That's true. Uh oh. That's a good point. Uh oh.

Someone went and picked up your cookie order, brought it to you. Am I secretly just still mad about Splash Mountain? Yeah, probably. Probably. Amelia, you went and picked these up from the Glendale Galleria. Also by the way, Amelia, thank you for my ba-ba milk. I appreciate it.

Anytime. So the Glendale Galleria, which in text message you called the Glendale Diarrhea, was that autocorrect or was that an artistic choice? That was an artistic choice. Okay, got it, got it. Nailed him. As one of my local moms pissed me off.

I submitted that name to Google Maps. The Glendale Diarrhea was very hard to navigate. I got lost in the parking garage. I was wandering around for maybe like 20 minutes. Wow. That's why I was so late today. This sounds, if you put Trump's voice over what she was just saying there, it sounds Trumpian.

Glendale Diarrhea, I was walking around for 20 minutes. It just sounds Trumpy. I was walking around for 20 minutes, it just sounds Trumpy. I was walking around for 20 minutes. It was all worth it because I had a lovely experience when I got there. Shout out to Taylor, who was one of the general managers at this location. She was awesome.

I walk up to her and she's like, are you from Jersey? And I was like, how'd you know? And she was like, me too. And then we all, I mean, singer you as well. That's how I react anytime anyone asks me. We bonded over that. She gave us some extra freebies. She was really nice.

You guys became Instagram friends. Instagram friends. You guys are tight friends. Instagram friends. You guys are tight in the few minutes that you were there. Yes, she has a TikTok famous canine officer dog named Judah, I think. And she gave us a balloon and she custom iced the cookie cake for us, so it says doughboys.

Yeah, she was very lovely. Shout out to Taylor. The dough boy, I was definitely struck by the cookie cake, which was a singer request having dough boys written on it. That was quite nice. And freshly baked. Freshly baked. So here's the thing.

And the cookie cake again. I went to the dog's TikTok and he has a thin bone line flag. A thin bone line. Oh, that's a bummer. He started following him. Yeah, I followed him. I was making jokes to Weigert that the dog was like

putting its paw on other dogs necks and shit. I haven't looked at this influencer dog yet. Anyway, do you think that Trump, just to go back to Trump, do you think that Trump, you think there's a scenario where Trump has like an OJ moment, like the Bronco chase? Like it's already the, like, and you know how the world is, it's like we're in like a cyclical,

like the world is a, people think that it's, we're living the matrix. Sure. And like we're in a cyclical, like the world is, people think that it's, we're living the matrix. Sure. And like everything's are cyclical and like, it's like, doesn't it feel like the end of the four years could end with him being in trouble and like flying away and like trying, doesn't it feel like something like that could happen?

You're describing something that Bill Simmons has called like the Mike Tyson effect or the Mike Tyson threshold, right? Sure, yes. We're referring exactly what his formulation is, but it's like basically like any news story you hear the Mike Tyson effect or the Mike Tyson threshold, right? Sure, yes. We're afraid exactly what his formulation is, but it's like basically like any news story you hear about Mike Tyson. How would he put that?

It's kind of like the Mike Tyson threshold. That's right. It reminds me of the movie Moneyball. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Cartman. So anyway, the... Ha ha ha ha ha. The, it's like any story, basically what it is in brief is any news story you hear about

Mike Tyson, you just believe. Because he's such like a crazy figure that like anything that he does is like, oh yeah, I completely buy that. And Trump's kind of the political equivalent of that. Like anything that happens, you're just like, yeah, okay, I'll take that instead. In my head, I just feel like there could be like the 2029 version of the O.J. Bronco chase with Trump. I feel like it just will happen. A low-speed chase...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. ...where he's in the back of a sports utility vehicle. Or in a plane. Maybe it's a light plane. A light plane, okay. Yeah, yeah, I feel like it's gonna happen. Yeah, and you had map out whoever Al Cowling's would be in this scenario. It's Marco Rubio. That's a great... Yeah, I was literally just about to ask.

It's Marco Rubio. It's Marco Rubio flying the plane. Flying the plane. You heard it here first. I think it will happen. Could happen. But, all right, sorry, I'm sorry to sidetrack there. Amelia, you had a blast at the Glendale Diary.

The Glendale Diary. Glendale Diary. And she hooked us up and she gave us this lovely heart balloon as well. I inquired if there was a Mr. Fields, I guess, about her and she's happily married. Yes. All great stuff, great experience. But are the cookies good, Wags?

That's the question. And also, we got one of those big cookies and it said dough boys on it. You already said this. And there was cream around the edge and that was my bite of the night. I think that was maybe all of our favorite things. It was great. The cookie cake was a knockout.

That was legit very good. And it was also the one notable thing. Cause everything else I feel like was like a cookie, right? It was fine. Yeah, this is a cookie. Some of them were a little bit too much. Some of them were, you know, just right down the middle, but nothing was like blowing my mind.

But the actual cookie slice from the cookie cake, I thought was, it was warm, it was soft. It was, Amelia, the way you characterize it, it's like a little undercooked, but like in a good way. In a good way. Like they properly like, you know, just, just, just. Ooey gooey. Exactly.

Let me just say, it would pass the American pie test. Unfortunate. Stick your dick in? You know what? Probably too deep. People are gonna need to Google what this thing looked like. If they've never had one, to see what, that was so funny. Flatbread pizza.

Yes. I mean, to me, like you said, I requested, I literally, when we were figuring this out, I emailed, I was like, if I could ask for one thing, you gotta get a cookie cake. Again, because it was the thing that I actually really liked from here. And so to me, I thought that was terrific.

It was actually just as good as I remembered. So to me, almost everything else was like a wash. It was like the one thing that I really liked as a kid was still good. Because sometimes you, again, kids are dumb. Sometimes you try these things in adult, and you're like, what was wrong with me as a kid that I liked whatever this was?

It was hitting for whatever. It was good. Well, I think part of it also is it was the one item that was fresh baked, right? Because this was baked to order. Everything else was something that was batch baked this morning. Yeah.

Yeah, so it was like, that extra layer helped it quite a bit. I'm ashamed of myself. For what? Just the things I've been saying this episode. Talking about jacking off and fucking a cookie. Yeah, you know, I wouldn't bring my dad back. I wouldn't want my dad to see me as I am. He needs to stay in the afterworld. I can't see him.

For what I've become, you know, he would come. I feel like he would come back and be like, I'm going to go back to the afterworld. I think he'd be sad. Get back on the Beetlejuice train again. Ha ha ha ha ha. I don't think be sad. Get back on the Beetlejuice train again. Yeah. I don't think that's true. Calling kids dumb.

He's like, where are yours? I don't have any, you know what I mean? Like there's just like a lot of, I don't know. I don't think that's true. I think the Whammer would be quite proud of all your success. Thank you, Wags. The Whammer, good guy.

Yeah. Okay, so the cookie cake was great. It was delightful and I genuinely enjoyed it. Nothing else was on that level. Side by side to the chocolate chip cookie, we thought the chocolate chip cookie was too sweet. Weirdly, like the chocolate. Well, no, because here's the thing.

There's semi-sweet chocolate, which is used in the cookie cake. And then there's also milk chocolate, which was used in the cookies. And the milk chocolate is just a little bit too, yeah. You could actually taste the difference between the two. It the milk chocolate is just a little bit too, yeah. It's sugary. You could actually taste the difference between the two. It wasn't just like a big cookie

versus a normal size cookie. There were not cookies you could not eat. Right. And I'm gonna say this, I don't know how you feel. The peanut butter cookie, I liked a lot. Let me just run through all the classic cookies because I have the full list here. Semi-sweet chocolate chip, milk chocolate chip.

That was the one that was a little too potent for us. Semi-sweet with walnuts, sugar butter, sugar butter made with M&M's candies, cinnamon sugar, white chocolate macadamia, oatmeal raisin with walnut, peanut butter, and triple chocolate. The triple chocolate one, I guess it was white chocolate, but they seemed more like marshmallow chips, didn't they?

Like they didn't really have like the flavor of the texture of white chocolate, which I'm not a fan of. Didn't taste at all like white chocolate at all. I know what was going on there. I liked that cookie, though. I don't know how you felt, Matt. But also, how did you feel about the rest of the peanut cookies I didn't even care about?

Yeah, they were. I was like, whatever. Yeah, the peanut butter was good. The other cookie that I thought was pretty good was the snickerdoodle cookie. I liked the snickerdoodle cookie. Snickerdoodle was decent. That was pretty good.

Yeah, yeah. It felt like stuffle was decent. That was pretty good. Yeah, yeah. It felt like stuff that was, you know, less sweet, quote unquote. Like, I think you mentioned this. Yes. Like, it wasn't overloaded with the milk chocolate or whatever, and some, like,

the frosting was overwhelming on the cookie cake, but when you're eating parts of the cookie cake that didn't have the frosting on it, it was great. The actual, the cookie, what would you call that? Cookie pie, like the cream? So that was a different menu item we got. Was it like sandwich cookie? And yes, they have a sandwich cookie,

which was, we got with two confetti cookies that had a bunch of a blue jizz between them. And it was, that one was ungepatschke. It was really unpleasant to eat. It was just way too sweet. And it was also like the thin layer of a web chopping or of cream of icing around the cookie cake. Like that was the right proportion.

You want just a little bite of it. You don't want to be immersed in like every like chomp. It was way, way too much. Yes. The layer of jizz, as you put it, in that was thicker. Sorry. Was thick.

Sorry you're here. It was thicker than the entire cookie cake. Just that layer of goop. It was too much. Yeah. Also, what do you know about this blue jizz? What's the inside scoop here? What do I know about it?

Yeah, yeah, like how is this made? Is it not, is it Navi? Yeah, that's what on Omtanium is. On Omtanium is just Navi gizz? That's all it is. Wow. No, it's a, yeah, he is a genius. It's a, I really did not like that.

And similarly the mega cookies, which is another thing. So a mega cookie is, I believe, designated as, yes, here, I'll read the copy. Three times the size of our regular cookies for three times the mmm. It was kind of like a scone form factor. Like it was like very thick, very dense. Yeah, like a hockey puck sort of thing.

I was actually weirdly okay with the mega cookies. They didn't bother me too much. It was loaded, like here's, could you eat a whole one of those though? No. Cause we each had like an eighth of it and was like, wow, that is a lot, you know? And maybe that's what it's designed for.

Maybe it's like the crumble thing where you're, you're supposed to split all these cookies into quarters. You're not supposed to eat an entire quarter. You're supposed to have one quarter portion to quote, to quote Unkar Plutt. Our favorite. Another reason galaxy's edges and good. He's not there.

Unkar Plutt should be there. Unkar Plutt should, he, he should be at any food stand. He should be serving the food. Everyone's not there. Unkar Plutt should be there. Unkar Plutt, he should be at any food stand, like arguing over how much you have. He should be serving the food, everyone's favorite character. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, sadly, one of the best characters

from the Star Wars movies. Well, Deas, how do you feel? First of all, how do you feel about Unkar Plutt? Second of all, how do you feel about these cookies? Kasey, we'll start with you, Unkar Plutt. I love Unkar Plutt, one of the best characters in Star Wars. Okay, perfect.

Thank you, Casey. Yup, yup, everyone agrees. And the cookies were way too sweet. I'm actually like, I feel like I've got heartburn because of all the sugar. I am still feeling, I'm still feeling the cookies. It's kind of like a hummingbird, sort of like, you know, hazed everything. It's the feeling in the. Kind of like a hummingbird sort of like, you know, haze to everything.

It's the feeling in the back of your like, throat jowls, whatever that happens when you have too much sugar. It's just like kind of like lingering. I was like, I feel like I need to go like bite a hot dog or something to like reset my palate cause it was so sweet. I didn't really try much other than that cookie cake

cause it was so good, but the chocolate was still soft and warm. It was like perfect. And I love that I tried to bite the snickerdoodle, that was awesome. Great, and an Unkar Plutt? Oh yeah, best character in Star Wars. Like undisputed.

Perfect, great. Amelia, what do you think? I think Unkar Plutt is the best character in Star Wars. Wow. Clean sweep. And... Clearly does not know what the fucking Unkar Plutt is. You're, for some reason, your lie came out the most. I believe those two.

And I only had a slice of the cookie cake and then a bite of the chocolate mega cookie. Yes, so we had both the chocolate chip mega cookie and then an M&M's mega cookie. Oh yeah, I had a bite of each of those. Yeah. The mega cookies were too sweet. Oh yeah, I had a bite of each of those. Yeah. The mega cookies were too sweet.

Too much, yeah. The cookie cake was delectable. It was really good. Okay. It was funny, Emma was like, do you ever, you know when you eat a sweet like this and then you wanna like take a bite of a hot dog? And it's like, you're asking the dough boys

if we have the feeling of wanting to take a bite of a hot dog? I don't even know why I have a hot dog. Always. It just felt like, hot dog just felt like the exact opposite of a hot dog? I don't even know why it was a hot dog. Always. It just felt like, hot dog just felt like the exact opposite of a sweet cookie. Yes, I would have loved to bite a hot dog if I went on a hot dog so fucking bad.

We went to, what were you gonna say? I was just gonna say, these mega, mega cookies. Yeah. I thought the taste was good, but they looked very unappetizing. Really unappealing. They did look unappetizing. Really unappealing. It looked like, it really looked like you took like a roll of cookie dough

and took and like you cut the wrong amount. unappealing. It looked like, it really looked like you took like a roll of cookie dough and took and like you cut the wrong amount. Yeah. And just shoved it in an oven. Yes. And it came out, I mean it was like hockey puck is not, it's not thick enough. It was like too hockey puck. Yes.

Yes, right. But they weren't hard or anything. No, no they weren't. It didn't taste. But they looked like they would be hard. Like they looked like they might have a little crunch to them. They tasted fine to me. I mean I was like, but again, you could not eat a little crunch to them. They tasted fine to me.

But again, you could not eat a whole one of those. Let's also talk about something that's- Hold on a second, what were you gonna say? Were you talking hot dogs that we went- Oh yeah, okay, actually, and this is related to the other thing I was gonna say. Moneyball. Moneyball, yeah. Yeah. So the Oakland A's were a struggling franchise.

Before we went to Legacy FX, our buddy Griffin was in town and me and Ben Simpson and him were going to meet at a Costco, which was nearby. And I get there first, food court is closed. It's a fucking nightmare. I didn't even know that was possible. Food court was closed, and it was closed for renovations for like six months. I don't know what to do.

So we audible, Ben Simpson knew a Mexican restaurant. And so we went to the Mexican restaurant there. So we audible, Ben Simpson knew a Mexican restaurant. And so we went to the Mexican restaurant there. We all met up. Yeah. One of the weirdest, like in restaurant experiences, like the food was good, but it was just like strange things kept happening.

I've been to that restaurant. You've been to that restaurant. The food is good. Did it feel like though you were like, you'd gone to the other side? No. Because it was really strange. First thing we asked a waiter at a certain point,

like, hey, can we order? And the guy was like confused by the request. Like we just asked him if we could get some new tires. Like it was like, we're in a restaurant, can we order? You know, like whatever. We thought we were very, very polite about it. But like that was fine. Ben Simpson gets a Diet Coke. He has a Diet Coke, can we, or, you know, like whatever. I thought we were very, very polite about it. But like that was fine. Ben Simpson gets a Diet Coke.

He has a Diet Coke, finishes his Diet Coke, they bring it to him in a can. He asks for a refill and she says, okay, the second one will be Pepsi, is that okay? Yeah. Yeah. Switched him to Pepsi for the refill? That's bizarre.

Like that's like their store policy because it's cheaper or something? That's insane. So confusing. One per customer. Yeah's insane. So confusing customer. Yeah Yeah Maybe that's what happened. Yeah, what the fuck is meanwhile me Casey number were at the legacy of X for 25 minutes Waiting for you guys to come And Dutton me Dutton Casey numbers, and them over there. Dutz was there. I wasn't there. When they switched, oh, you weren't there.

Oh, I'm sorry. Anya was there. Anya was there, sorry. Mitch mixing up the women at Headgum. Oh my god. Oh. Get his ass. It's fine.

Well, me and one of the women of Headgum, and Casey, and Dutton were waiting for 25 when I saw that Costco is closed They're like, yeah, let's go to this restaurant. I was like, what the fuck are they doing? It was like it was like a half an hour until we were gonna I understood Ben who arranged it Had an eaten lunch and he was planning to eat less was like we'll go to the spot We would have been fine. Look you're still ahead if we add up minutes. I've made you wait Yeah, this is me way not a big deal. I don't care Yes, but we waited there for a while. Then I also made the mistake of comparing you

to one robot character, and then we saw a bunch of giant fat characters. Which you kept comparing me to over the course of the thing. Tactical error. Huge error. I think I then also did compare you to like a fat robot later on. It got you at some point.

Yeah, we were getting, you know, it was typical banter. Yeah, yeah. Going at each other. Yeah, no one liked it. It was the, yeah, no, it was just for us. The Cisco and Ebert of Philly. Yeah, you're right, you're right. Wait, it was, there was,

you were thinking of specific ones? Oh, no, I was just thinking of like, because you remember the orientation, there was that whole thing, In case you witnessed this too. And Emma, I think you were there. You saw this. So. Jamilia was there.

There's that part where he's like, where the guide was like, hey, so this side, because they kind of keep things that are upcoming in a different part of the warehouse from stuff that's already been released. So it was like, this side, you know, you can pose with any of these, you know, you can pose with any of these, you know, you can touch any of these,

you can photograph any of these, but this side, you can't do any of that with. Yeah. And then he was like, and this side, like, it's fine to suck them off. This side, you can't suck them off yet. Ha ha ha ha! I'm like, that was interesting.

That's the joke I was making. Yeah. Is that you sucked off a bunch of robots and interesting. That's the joke I was making to you, is that you sucked off a bunch of robots and shit. That's what it was. Yeah. Because there was like a cannon. Yeah, there was a guy, yeah, there was a little FX guy who was just shooting a little load.

Shooting a load into your mouth? They knew you were coming. Anyway, thank you, LegacyFX. Thank you, LegacyFX, you had a great time. Wwise, you were gonna say something, we were talking about the thick cookies and then we got sidetracked LegacyFX. You had a great time. Wies, you were going to say something. We were talking about the thick cookies, and then we got sidetracked again here. Yeah, let's see.

Well, I guess just- The mega cookies passed the American pie test? The mega cookies definitely passed the American pie test. Easily, with flying colors. I mean, way too deep. For Mitch, it was like drilling to the Earth's core. They were, I mean, compared to the cookie cake, they're what, like seven times thicker?

They were, yeah, they were very, very thick. At least. At least, yeah. Oh, no, I know what it was. And this is, it goes back to Costco. Thank you, Mitch. So the Oakland A's payroll was the lowest in the league. No, so compare the Mega Cookie to the current Zeitgeist showstopper in the dessert world, the Double Chunk Chocolate

Cookie from Costco. I'd rather have the Double Chunk at like six days. What am I supposed to say? Seven days a week over that one. I can land the plane there. Nine times out of 10. Nine times out of ten. Nine times out of ten. Six days out of seven.

That's what I'm looking for. But it sounds like ten times out of ten. Ten times out of ten. I'd like any day. That's what I was trying to say. It's like so much better and it's so much cheaper. And so, you know, what's the point of this thing? You know what I mean?

Yes. Yeah. No, I agree with you. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Mitch, when I think about relationship green flags, for me, it's someone who likes to listen, someone who likes to collaborate, someone who's not guarded and, and, and wants to share things with me about their life. Those are some green flags to me too, Wags. Well, Wags, we often hear about the red flags we should avoid, but what if we focused more on looking for green flags in friends and partners?

If you're not sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify green flags, actively practice them in your relationships, and embody the green flag energy yourself. Whether you're dating, married, building a friendship, or just working on yourself, it's time to form relationships that love you back. Mitch, you and I both benefited from therapy. It's a thing that I found very helpful for my mental health, for my sleep, for my physical health, and also in terms of me just being more comfortable

communicating with my loved ones. I like it, Wiggs, get the gunk out. And you know what, Wiggs? You're a green flag friend to me. Wow, you're a green flag friend too, Mitch. Wow like it, Wiggs. Get the gunk out. And you know what, Wiggs? You're a green flag friend to me. Wow, you're a green flag friend too, Mitch. Wow, thanks, Wiggs. You bet. Part of a green flag for me?

Being willing to give and accept compliments. Hey, more lemonade? Ha ha ha ha! It's helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to do the best version of yourself. And it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. BetterHelp is fully online making therapy affordable and convenient serving over 5 billion people worldwide. Access a diverse

network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switched therapists anytime at no extra cost. Wow. Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash doughboys today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash doughboys. Do it. Should we get to our final thoughts? Yeah, so Matt, this is how this will work.

We'll each go around, we'll give our final arguments on this chain or closing statements, if you will, and then end that by giving it a score from zero to five forks. So Matt, you're our guest. Your final thoughts on Mrs. Fields, your fork score. Well, again, I was all like, honestly, all I cared about was that damn cookie cake. Yeah.

Was it going to live up to the mental image I had of it? And I felt like it did. The cookie cake, I mean, that could be, that item could be, I would say, five forks. Just that item. The rest is kind of, it was fine. So I guess overall, I mean, nothing we had was, I would say, bad other than maybe that,

what was it, the one with the jizz? Yes, yeah, that one was bad. That was bad. Other than that,, what was it, the one with the jizz? Yes, yeah, that one was bad. That was bad. Other than that, everything else was cookies, which are good. Yeah. There wasn't any other bad cookies.

They were all generally acceptable to pretty good. So I guess ultimately, I would arrive at a score of maybe three and a half forks. Three and a half forks, good score for Mrs. Fields. That's a good score. Spoonman, what do you say half forks, good score for Mrs. Fields. That's a good score. Spoonman, what do you say? For whatever reason I wanna like Mrs. Fields

and I like that Amelia had a good experience there today. I like Mrs. Fields herself. And I like all the thirst traps you were showing me. Yeah. But- Mrs. Fields? Mrs. Fields? Not what I- I'm Mrs me of. Yeah. But. Mrs. Fields? Not what I.

I'm Mrs. Fields. Not what I imagine Mrs. Fields as a kid looking like. We should also say this. Yes, also, yeah, please don't say as a kid. Okay. I was looking at the. I was the kid in this city. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Let's make that clear. You're picturing like, you know, Mrs. Butterworth. Yeah, genteel old lady. Exactly. Here you go, kids. Yeah, but she's very pretty lady. Hey, the older women can be very beautiful too, Mitch. Of course. Where would I not say that?

We love our silver queens. I think Mrs. Fields is still very attractive. I was looking at current pictures of her. I was still very attractive. I was looking at current pictures of her. I like that it's kind of back, not back to the basics, because it's the way this place has been, but I like that it's kind of a more simpler version of cookies.

I think the cookie test itself, the cookie cake was great. There were a couple good cookies and a lot of them were way too sweet. So for me, I think I'm gonna go three forks, which is right in the middle. Not bad, but not Golden Plate Club territory. Three forks. Three forks.

That's where you land. And I'll give Mrs. Fields a thumbs up Ebert style if you catch my drift. I can crank it to that. But yeah, I mean, like, why do I care? I don't, I have no history with this place. I didn't even used to eat it a lot, but I do like the idea of it. And I think some of these other creepy places

have gotten too crazy. I wonder, I think that they do have to make a move for the future. I think something has to change at Mrs. Fields. Like just maybe more delivery locations or whatever it is. Or honestly, try to make a move for the future. I think something has to change at Mrs. Fields, like just maybe more delivery locations or whatever it is, or honestly. Try to get a great store bought cookie. You know what I mean?

Like there's always a battle for that. We talk about the store, the store brand cookies and what's the big ones, the green bag, Tates is like a big one. I'm like, Mrs. Fields cookies hitting the market could be good, but maybe they don't wanna do that. And maybe we don't need it either. I don't know. I just don't know.

I'm a little worried about Mrs. Fields' future, I would say. Yeah, I mean, looking at how, looking at their growth and decline, they had a couple of bankruptcy scares. It feels like they're maybe waning a little bit. It feels like there are fewer Mrs. Fields than there used to be.

Part of that is just the death of the American shopping mall. This used to be like this kind of, you know, this hub of suburbia, and now there are fewer and fewer of those. And also what you'll see at like a more upscale, you know, the versions that work now that are more like outdoor walkable neighborhoods, those don't tend to have places like Mrs. Fields.

You know, they'll have like a pressed juicery or something like that. They'll have a, or like a Van Lewin ice cream. They'll go for like, you know, something a little bit more contemporary, a little bit more artisan, a little bit more gentrified. Kid question, do kids like smoothie? Like are cookies still number one for kids over like smoothies and things like that?

I mean, if you give my children, who we've established. Are very smart kids. Extremely intelligent. If I offered them a cookie or a smoothie, they're gonna pick the cookie. So kids are still kids. But my kids do like smoothie bowls. Like they actually, like, you know, like they will,

you know, if we're walking past, there's a couple in our neighborhood that they're like, can we get a smoothie? Can we get a smoothie bowl? Like an acai bowl or something like that. Yes, yes. And I have to be like, no, absolutely not. Stop talking to me.

But yes, they like both, but I mean, a cookie is a cookie. A cookie is a cookie. Which is probably what's helped Mrs. Fields all these years. A cookie is a cookie. A cookie is a cookie. For me on my dessert hierarchy, I don't have cookies at the top. Like I'd rather have a lot of things

other than the cookies, although I like cookies. I agree with that. I'm a big fan of cookies. But, you know, for me, I'm a creamism, ice cream's number one. That's clear, like, that's S-tier dessert is ice cream for me. Ice cream for sure is over cookies for me. That's in a tier of its own.

Like, maybe go down to A-tier, that's when you're putting, like, the pies of the world. Like, I love pie. I'll take pie over cake, but I also really love cake. Cake might also be A tier. I, but- Hot cake, a warm cake or hot cake. Delightful.

How fun is that? Cookies are a little bit lower. They might even be below donuts for me, honestly. I like cookies. I wanna be clear. I like cookies, Mitch. Wise, I'm right there with you. I would normally be like, you don't like cookies

and kind of like get you mad and try to dig into that a bit. But I, donut over like, you don't like cookies and kind of like get you mad and try to dig into that a bit. But I, donut over a cookie, of course. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean like- Cake over a cookie, pie over a cookie, ice cream over a cookie.

I'm with you on all of them. Once we get to like cinnamon roll, that's when I'm like, I'll take a cookie. You know what I mean? Like once we get to, I'm trying to think of what else. Yeah, cinnamon roll, yes. I agree with that. I take a cookie over a cinnamon roll.

What am I missing? What are the big dessert categories? Churro over a agree with that. I'd take a cookie over a cinnamon roll. What am I missing? What are the big dessert categories I'm missing? Churro over a cookie. I think I would take a churro. I would definitely take a churro over a cookie. Costco swapped out the churro for the double chunk chocolate cookie, but that's not a fair one-to-one

because it was like a fine churro and the double chunk chocolate cookie is outstanding. So it's like, that's not a clean swap. Sounds like maybe we both don't like cookies that much. But I do like cookies. I do really like cookies. Like I'm a do like cookies. I do really like cookies. Like I'm a fan of cookies. I want cookies to be good.

And like, I love like a, I love like a small cookie shop. I love like an independent bakery. I love all- Cupcakes versus cookies. Cupcakes for me. I would do cookie there. I do cookie there, yeah.

Cupcake. Yeah. Come on. I think I do cookie over cupcake. Yeah. I don't agree. Again, it's just going to be a bit of food right there. Yeah, right, 100%. We might as well revisit this.

Are cupcakes more a cake or pie? Oh, Jesus. Pie. Pie. Mitch thinks that cupcakes are pie. In what way? Pie. Pie and cupcakes over, I'll say this, pie and cupcakes over cookies, for sure.

Yeah, but you also think cupcakes are pie. Will you choose pie over cookie? He's deflecting this question. Yeah, you're deflecting the question. I'm asking you, would you choose pie over cookie? Yeah, I would. Then you choose cupcake over cookie. Same difference.

The Mega Cook cookies were whatever. The classic cookies were fun. Oh, I thought they were MAGA cookies. I'm going to lower my score. The classic cookies were fine. They were mostly fine. I mean, honestly, I feel like you could go to, not in the regular aisle, but maybe in the bakery section of a grocery store, like you could go to... Not in the regular aisle, but maybe in the bakery section of a grocery store.

You could probably find some cookies that are approximate level of a Mrs. Fields. Like, they're not... Those are still good. They're not blowing my mind. They're not knocking my socks off. They're comparable. The cookie cake was legit very, very tasty. I think on its own, that's like, yeah, a four to five fork experience that in and of itself.

Like, that felt like the kind of, like, bitch, that reminded me of a Pizzucchi from BJ's. Which it's like that same sort of, like, this is like a warm cookie dessert, I'd rather have a Pizzucchi, of course. Of course. But it was a good execution. And also you get the ice cream on the Pizzucchi.

You put a scoop of vanilla on this, some bitch, it would be real good. You know what, I'm just thinking about the bazooka. You might as well call it a kapsuki. Same difference. It's a portmanteau of pizza and cookie, you realize, right? It's not pie. You know, I'm gonna stick with it, same difference.

I guess pizza pie, yeah, that's fair. Where I ultimately land is, what is this place doing? Like, I guess it's just kind of like a concept that maybe is a relic of a different age. And it's still doing things fine, but they either need to modernize or I think they need to, you know, they need to like kind of reorient their business plan to be towards what people want from cookies now,

which is like, we want gift boxes, we want stuff delivered. I want to be sitting at home and be able to have a box of Mrs. Fields cookies arrive in a half hour or whatever the fuck. Like, I think that like as far as what adjustments they could make, I think it's just accepting their fate and accepting their fate as someone that's going to have to be more like a crumble, more like an insomnia in order to continue to exist. And I also don't think the quality of cookie

is good enough to justify a special trip. You know what I mean? Like Mrs. Fields is basically, the only time you have a Mrs. Fields is like, I'm in front of a Mrs. Fields and I want a cookie. Like that's the one situation. I'm not going out of my way for a Mrs. Fields cookie ever. Like even after this mostly positive experience.

But it did seem like the service was very good, Amelia. It did seem like they really accommodated us. And I can't really say anything outwardly negative about this. It was just all kind of fine. And I guess where fine probably lands us is in the three fork range. I think we're just kind of ballpark buds here. I think Mitch, you and I are in the hand holding club

because I think we're all hovering around three forks and I think that's pretty much what Mrs. Fields deserves. And we appreciate, I mean, look, the customer service bumps it up to... Yeah, shout out to Taylor. Three is not a bad score. Three is a good score. It's not a bad score. And I stand by the thing of like,

would I get a cookie from here or for Crumble? I don't know, you know what I mean? And Crumble, but Crumble clearly is a thing that's more known than Mrs. Fields, or is more popular than Mrs. Fields, I should say. I'd rather have Mrs. Fields than Crumble. I would rather have Insomnia than Mrs. Fields. It will be interesting to see whether these new chains, because Mrs. Fields, I should say. I'd rather have Mrs. Fields than Crumble. I would rather have Insomnia than Mrs. Fields. It will be interesting to see whether these new chains,

because Mrs. Fields, I didn't even know if it was still around, to be honest. But it's endured. It's still there. So will these new chains last as long? That's the interesting thing. I do wonder. This is like a cookie, it almost feels like

we're in the cookie boom or a cookie phase. A little bit, and I kind of feel like Crumble is the one that's gonna burn a little bit too brightly. Whereas insomnia is a little bit less like, crumble's just going for over the top. Like here's like a fucking big ass cookie. And a lot of others feels like it's really expanded.

And it's like wildly expanded. I think that one will probably, it's probably due to receded. One last question, do you still feel like shit? Cause I do. I feel really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel truly terrible.

I feel great. All right. Yeah feel really bad. Yeah, yeah. I feel truly terrible. I feel great. All right. Yeah. Fuck you. Sorry. I'm glad you feel good. I'm just mad I feel bad. Hey, it's time for a segment.

We've got a food stuff, and we're going to decide if you can put it in your mouth, or should put it in your mouth. It's snack or whack. Should we not do this? I mean, let's do it. Because I just realized we're having sweet on top of sweet. This is the complete opposite of what Emma said

about one and a hot dog. We've got more desserts here. How many flavors are there? This is the Jelly Belly Cold Stone Creamery Collab. One, two, three, four, five jelly beans. Five different jelly beans with ice cream flavors, I guess. Is that what they're doing? Mitch, does it have the ice cream flavors on the bag?

It does. It does. It has chocolate devotion, chocolate ice cream, chocolate chips, brownies and fudge. Okay, come on, Jelly Belly. It's just a fucking chocolate jelly bean. I thought those were all different flavors of jelly bean. I was like, so it's a chocolate bag.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's just one bean. That's just one bean. That's what I'm like, so it's a chocolate bag. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's just one bean. That's why I'm saying come the fuck on. Our Strawberry Blonde, this seems like even like, like this seems like a crazier names than they even give the ice cream at the Cold Stone. Does Cold Stone do our, is there our strawberry,

maybe there is, our Strawberry Blonde is strawberry ice cream, graham cracker pie crust, strawberries, cream, and whipped topping. Birthday cake remix. Okay, I'm a birthday flavor fan. Cake batter, ice cream, rainbow sprinkles, brownie and fudge. So brownie and fudge in there. Which I feel like why add that in?

Ooh, Jimmy likes Chef Kevin for some reason. Um, I mean, plenty of reason to like Chef Kevin. Yeah, sure. To be clear. Uh, apple pie a la Cold Stone. French vanilla ice cream, cinnamon, graham cracker pie crust, apple pie filling, and caramel. Mint, mint, chocolate, chocolate, chip.

What's going on? I just, I'm, I'm just shocked at how many things you're listing off. Mint, mint, chocolate, chocolate, chip. What's going on? I just, I'm, I'm just shocked at how many things are listed off the top. I can't believe you're still talking. He's even reading for 90 seconds straight. Mint, mint, chocolate, chocolate, chip, mint, ice cream, chocolate, chips, brownie, and fudge.

That's five? That's, that's, that's, so there's only, that's the five jelly beans. 27 of these, 27 of these jelly beans are 110 calories wide, so if we only eat five of them, we're in good shape. Okay, so you're gonna try to individually portion out five. I'm gonna get one of each for myself, and then I'll let you guys do the same. This sucks.

Do you want me to just pour some in your hand right now, Matt? So you can, I think you'll get all of them if I do that. Singer, a Cold Stone sometimes does these collabs. This is one I missed. I don't know if you experienced the Barbie, the movie, a Cold Stone. I don't think I ever got to eat it. I never got it myself.

But I did see a picture. Yeah. Not as horrifying as someone, I don't think it was in the United States, but someone made a Barbie burger with some sort of pink sauce. Oh, I hate that. Yeah, it looked truly horrifying. Yeah

So there's we're supposed to have Based on what you read, we're supposed to have 800 flavors. There's This is this is confusing cuz I okay. I think I got all of them two of them look very similar I believe okay. I think I have five flavors there that looks like oh wait, then I don't have one of them That's what I that's cuz I'm missing. Oh, I don't have this one. I don't have five flavors there. That looks like... Oh wait, then I don't have one of them. That's what I, that's... Cause I'm missing... Oh, I don't have this one. I don't have an orange one.

This is insane. Maybe we should have split these up earlier. I didn't realize. I didn't realize we needed that. Okay, I got... Do you think there's actually three of each flavor in there? I now have all of them. Maybe this one, this...

I can get you, I can get you that one. Okay, get me that one. Cause then I might have... There you go. Now I have six! Yes. There are six. No, there is only five.

So I think just some of them look weird. Okay. Here, you guys. Good luck. I mean, I just don't... Okay, okay. I don't know what to say here. Are we...

I'm gonna taste one. I'm tasting one right now. Which one did you taste? Does it matter? I tasted the apple one. And the apple one? You know what, they kind of- They look the same. They have the coloration of bird eggs is the issue.

So they've got, they've kind of got different colored spots is how you designate them. So there's like two, there's like a pink one. There's two different like yellow shades that have like different kind of spots. And it's, you have to to get pretty granular I think I'm gonna eat the chocolate one last because it just seems okay yeah I ate the green one that's mint yeah how was that minty it is minty it tastes like a mint ice

cream kind of cool I think not knowing this was mint chip going in I don't know if I'd figure it out I guess guess a little bit. Same goes for the apple pie-ish one. Yeah, that one was more science-y to me. It's science-y and also it's just kind of like a vanilla apple flavor. It's not anything, it doesn't remind me of ice cream at all in any way. Uh-oh, I'm going to spit. Oh wow. Wow, which one?

The mint one. I don't really like it. I feel like it You guys actually just spit food out so it must be nasty Which one which one are we trying here? I'm doing chocolate devotion. Okay. Oh the mint one's bad. Yeah, much more bad mint one I'll say this the mint one does so far tastes the most like Right mint chocolate chip ice cream and but it is but bad well chocolate devotion I can tell tastes like just tastes like a

brownie yes agreed okay I don't like jelly beans is that heretical to say I don't like fucking like no well they're very close to the gummy texture which you don't like inherently like yeah I take a me a texture yeah and these I would say a jelly bean is gummy, but it's, but there are, it's a sticky candy, like sticks to your teeth and stuff. I'd rather have a gummy than a jelly bean. Good, I agree with that.

I love jelly bellies. I've changed my mind. I'm gonna try this. I'm gonna try this. I'm gonna try this. I like the classic jelly bellies. I don't like the weird flavors and stuff. I like going, like when you can make

your own bag of flavors at the store. The chocolate one's not good either. I did, I changed my mind. I went for it after the mint. I'm having strawberry blonde. Oh, the chocolate one's really not good. None of these are good. These fucking suck.

These are maybe whack. They're awful. The birthday, one was birthday, correct? Yes, yeah. That, I would never have known that was birthday. Here's the issue is that the two ones that taste the best so far, I haven't tried the birthday one,

but the birthday one and the apple caramel one. I'm trying the apple pie right now. That's the best one so far for me. It tastes a little sciencey. Yeah. That's what I thought. None of them are good. No.

The strawberry one is not bad. Yeah, strawberry one's okay. I think that was my, I have this one left, whatever, the color that's not included on the bag. You might like the birthday one. The birthday one is birthday, the birthday one is birthday cake flavored. I do like birthday flavor.

I don't like it, but it does the job. This sucks. Yeah. It's looking awful, I hate that. You spit out the birthday birthday flavor. I don't like it, but it does the job. This sucks. Yeah. It's looking awful. I hate that. You spit out the birthday cake flavor. The birthday cake one was the worst, I thought. Yeah, that was nasty.

Ugh. That sucks. Those were horrible. That's your fucking whack. These were really bad. These are whack. Matt, I'm sorry to move for making you eat these. Nah, whack all around, pretty much.

Would you rather eat in like the booger flavor ones that they have? Jelly Belly, Jelly Belly, you're just fucking gross. Get the fuck out of here. Don't do this shit. I don't need your fucking weird ass nasty ass beans. And then you also got these weird like fucking colab beans. Like what do you got here?

You got the chocolate devotion, chocolate ice cream, chocolate chips, brownies and fudge. You got the awestrawberry blonde, strawberry ice cream, chocolate chips, brownies and fudge. You got the all strawberry blonde, strawberry ice cream, graham cracker, pie chunks, strawberries. I'm so- Oh no, the hard drive ran out of space. Wait. Wait.

All right, Vox, what are the calories on those guys? Let's see. 110 calories for three servings within a bag. So nine of these, there's 27 pieces. Nine of these is 110 calories, but 20 grams of sugar, that's a lot of sugar. The first ingredient on the ingredient list is sugar, the second one is corn syrup.

So this is incredibly unhealthy. Could you just read the rest of the ingredients while we're at it? Yeah, let's see, we got the modified food starch, contains 2% or less of the following, strawberry puree, chocolate liqueur, cocoa butter, cocoa powder, citric acid, ground cinnamon, chocolate liqueur, cocoa butter, cocoa powder, citric acid, ground cinnamon, tapioca, dextrin, natural artificial flavor, color added, red 40

lake, yellow five and six lake, red 40, blue one and two lake, blue one, yellow five, beeswax, carnaba wax, confectioners' glaze and salt. Cool, so these are what they at least contributed to our cancer maybe? Yeah. It's like a California proposition 65 or whatever warning on it. Yeah. It doesn't really? No, but it sounds like it should.

Thanks for inviting me, guys. We're sorry. Enjoy your cancer. Wow, you can take the factory tour. Call 800 JB Beans. That's 522-3267. We should do that. Let's do that.

We should do that. Hey, we hate what you're doing here. This company sucks. Why do you guys suck? Is this where you make the crappy jelly beans? I remember Jelly Belly, I remember when Jelly Belly burst onto the scene, I feel like. Or at least when it was like, when it became a big thing, I'm like, these are like, there's crazy flavored

Jelly Bellies. And I feel like it was almost like, back in the day, it was that sort of thing, where they had a guide of what the flavor, it felt almost fancy. It was like fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What flavor is this? We used to be able to get the boxes where the flavors were all separated

and there was like a map and you know, the whole thing. And that's no fun. Are those good or is it, I mean, these sucked. I don't like them. There's a candy store in Maine, in Kiddery, Maine called Yummies, and I'll go there sometimes with my family. They have a bunch of like old candies, but they have like a wall of Jelly Belly flavors called Yummies, and I'll go there sometimes with my family. They have a bunch of old candies,

but they have a wall of Jelly Belly flavors, individual flavors, and you can fill your own bag with the flavors that you like, so you can make your ultimate mix of Jelly Bellies, and my brother loves doing that, so we'll go do that. That sounds fun. That's fun, because then you know you like everything in the bag, and you can kind of just

have a good time with it, but I don't like these. These are weird. I don't like these, these are weird. I don't like any of that. I'm gonna call off dinner with Koalik. That sucked. There's a whack, a whack. Even strawberry, the one that I would like the most, I was like, this is not good.

None of them are good. Yeah, that was a bummer. Hey, just like a restaurant, if I had your feedback, let's talk about the feedback. Today's email is from Max from the Midwest. Max writes, on your recent episode for Chuck E. Cheese with Griffin Newman, you gave Amelia shit for saying Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote one of the songs.

A quick search of the cheesy EPDia reveals that he did write the song, hashtag justice for Amelia. The song is Jordan Fisher featuring Lin-Manuel Miranda, you're welcome. My question is, if you could write a historical food themed musical with Lin-Manuel Miranda, you're welcome. My question is, if you could write a historical, food-themed musical with Lin-Manuel Miranda, what would it be about?

Thanks, shout out to my lovely wife, Caitlin. Let me look at this link real quick. The link has expired? But I clicked it the other day and it worked. Wait, are you responsible for sending this email too? Well, well, well, you picked an interesting one. Hello, Max. Yeah.

From the Midwest. I have a link that does work. Okay. Is it Max Rebo? I did some digging. Oh yes, Max Rebo. One of the songs that I thought was Lin-Manuel Miranda was written by a man named Eric Neal.

Okay. Hold on a second, so you're wrong? Maybe. But he did write a song for Chuck E. Cheese that they play at Chuck E. Cheese. It could have been the one that we saw. Are we sure? So the evidence isn't a broken belief.

Here's what I wonder, did this listener populate this Wikipedia page, which obviously anyone can contribute who has an account, did they make up a fake link? You fucked up. That's what I wonder. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

And then it got taken down by administrators. Ha ha ha ha. If that's true, call Susserman by dog to come back. All right, Amelia's handing me her phone. Intermission Three, Lisa Loeb featuring Craig Robinson, Feel What You Feel, Chuck E. Cheese's Buffet, Nick Jonas' Home, Chuck E. Cheese's Sensory Sensitive Sundays, Jordan Fisher

featuring Lin-Manuel Miranda, You're Welcome. Is this, okay, so this on the Chuck E. Cheese Wiki, which is listing the playlist, but is that an original song for Chuck E. Cheese? Or is that just a Lin-Manuel Miranda song, collab, that happens to be featured on their playlist? I'm not sure, but I'm willing to take the song for Chuck E. Cheese? Or is that just a Lin-Manuel Miranda song collab that happens to be featured on their playlist? I'm not sure, but I'm willing to take the credit

for being right. I'll give you the credit. I'm gonna hand you your phone back. Amelia, this is blown up in your face. Okay, so we're back. Emma and Jemmy have quit the pod. Okay, so we're back Emma and Jemmy have quit the pod I think my you know, I could crank it to that. I was just saying I think I would probably

Turn that into my Milt Manuel Miranda song except it would be like I can't crank it to that for like, you know Like the Boston Massacre. I can't crank it to that Massacre I can't crank it to Like 9-eleven I can't crank it to that stuff like that historical moments But I won't crank it to that but let me put a bit yeah prejudice I won't crank it to that yeah Factory farms won't crank it January 6th might crank Not to that I don't know how to answer this question Yeah to write a historical food theme musical with a memo you got mine

I don't know you have mine you can't you can't crank it to that crank it to that. How is that food themed? Oh, it's gonna be food team. Yeah, this is this is one of those things This is one of those questions where it's just like hey, here's some imprevis. Do some improv. What a fucking no max You're sending busted links The fuck's going on here you got a real question. Yeah, that's your real name What a fucking no max you're sending busted links Yeah, that's your real name yeah, what about I mean it's already been covered in one of the great films of the last years But we took unfrosted. Oh sure and you made a musical of that great motion picture. That would be great I'd love to see that because you know like there is the great musical moment during the end credits where there's the original Jimmy Fallon wrote a song.

So we've already. That the cast does a lip dub to that they are not into. So much like the Back to the Future musical, you're starting from, we have a great musical backbone. Right, right. No, that's great. That's a good pitch. I think like an Easter, tell me out here.

Yeah. It's an Easter song and it's Alexander Hamilton if it was like potatoes and some ham again, you know? That's good. Yeah, that's really good. I like that quite a bit. Potatoes and some ham again, and then like, you know, like, what does Easter supper consist of?

I don't know, you know, something along those lines. I thought you would help me out here. I thought you would put on your improv shoes a little bit. I don't know what you're doing. I'm doing the Alex Don't know what you're doing is the perfect response in an improv What I Don't know I think there's like looking at you know I think you could have a Wonka-esque thing

about Colonel Sanders because he had such an eccentric, he was such a charlatan, he had such a kind of a life where like maybe he was like a fabulous about certain aspects of it, he allegedly killed somebody. I think there's just like a lot of Colonel Sanders lore that we see, and also like a man who had ultimately built his empire relatively late in life, which is kind of interesting.

I mean, what about Mrs. Fields? What can, is there something we can do with Mrs. Fields? Her biography? I don't know. That could go, I could crank it to that song. It could go in the portion of that song. That would fit. That would fit perfectly.

Yeah. Deborah Fields forever. That's pretty good. Pretty good. There you go. That's perfect. Get some Hall and Oates in there. Mrs. Fields has got it going. You know what I mean? It's Stacey's mom, but I don't know Mrs. Fields' daughter's name, so this is the issue. Let me take you down, because I'm going to Mrs. Field's.

What is that? That came off dirtier than I ever would have thought. For you too. That's good, Wikes. Yeah, that's good. We solved it. Hey, are you happy? You happy?

Fucking happy? I just saw your email ask me to pick a different question. Wow, you saw this beforehand. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us. Potato with some ham again. That's pretty fucking good. You don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about

That's really good No Fuck never mind email us at feedback at you know the salaries are low low low Or lose the voicemail date 830-GO-DOE. That's 830-463-6844. And now watch Scott at Hattrberg. Go, go, go. To get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode,

plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at Patreon.com slash Doughboys. Our producers, Emory Brink, our associate producer. You know what, Harrison didn't come back either. Harrison didn't see this shit. Our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Harris is looking up at us and shaking his head

Matt Singer our guests. Thank you so much. Oh great great to get you in studio Thank you so much for eating so a bunch of cookies with us and some really bad jelly beans People should check out opposable thumbs a really awesome book. Congratulations of that anything else you'd like to plug No, yeah, check out the book I've got another book about Spider-Man I wrote a few years ago, so you can find that too. He's my favorite superhero. Oh, he's the best.

All right, so we at least agree on that. Yes, I'm a big Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movie. Great movies. I love him. Yeah, great. You like the Peter Parker Spider-Man. Wait, wait, hold on a second. No, I like all Spider-Man.

I love the Spider-Man. I love the Spider-Man games too. Miles Morales, I love Miles Morales. He's great. Both are great. We have room in our hearts for many Spider-Man. Spider-Verse, the movies themselves, I thought were a little overrated.

Oh boy, here we go. I love the first Spider-Verse. Second one, I do love. I think it's awesome. I think the second one's maybe a little bit bloated, but it's also just so visually dazzling that I'm just like, this is why you see a movie. Look at this.

The first Spider-Verse is good. The first one is amazing. The second one, I think I agree with you. It's beautiful to look at, very bold. Maybe a little unga-pachka. A little bit. Maybe a little bit. I thought it was a downright a bad movie, personally.

But I like the first one. Did we get my kids in here and they can wait? Hey, I get why kids would like it. They're dumb. I wanna say that Mrs. Field's cookies look so much better after eating these jelly beans. More than 100%. That is true.

Does that buy it a half fork? I mean, honestly. Do I go up a half fork because it's just such a better dessert? That was an actual treat that I enjoyed. Do we join Matt in the three and a half? Yeah, you know we'll go three and a halfs all around. All right, great.

Shout out the name of the Spider-Man book. Spider-Man from Amazing to Spectacular, The Definitive Comic Art Collection. Wow. And people should check out your writing at ScreenCrush. ScreenCrush, yes. Especially for our audience. Matt Singer is stupid if you haven't already

checked it out. It's a lot of fun. You eat movie tie-in menus very often. You live blog the experience. Yes. And it always seems like you're miserable. Before we ever connected, the number one question I would get about doing this,

eating this movie-related food, besides like what the fuck is wrong with you, was do you listen to Doe Bulls? That was the question. Like if you don't, you will, these are your people. So it feels like this was meant to happen. I'm glad we were able to do it. Well, it sounds like you understand the thing

of that this does make you miserable. So we get it. Oh, it is. I think we have talked about this on that ridiculous text chain. This is a masochistic endeavor that we all do. Yeah, stupid. You know, whatever.

Anyway, join us next week when we tour the Jelly Belly Factory. Matt Singer, thanks so much for being here. What a show. My pleasure you know, whatever. Anyway, join us next week when we tour the Jelly Belly Factory. Matt Singer, thanks so much for being here. What a show. My pleasure. Thank you guys. That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating.

Love you, Harris. doughboys merch, we're talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff. aprons. It's all available at kinship goods.com slash doughboys. That's kinship goods.com slash doughboys. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True podcast now on Head description. of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow, or my actual biological mother, Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth. And if we find it great, and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get

your podcasts, and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya.