Doughboys - Munch Madness: Pie Noon: Semisweet Final 2 with Carl Tart & Ahsohn Williams

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

Carl Tart and Ahsohn Williams (Carl Calls His Cousin) join the 'boys for a royal showdown to decide if Burger King or Dairy Queen will move on to the Munch Madness finale. Plus, another edition of Let Me Be Frank.The 2021 Munch Madness: The Tournament Of Chompions: Pie Noon is sponsored by Manscaped.Sources for this week's intro:https://baseballhall.org/hall-of-famers/brett-georgehttps://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2014/04/16/lorde-finally-meets-george-brett-inspiration-for-royals/https://www.thedailybeast.com/meet-lorde-the-16-year-old-singer-poised-to-take-over-pop-musichttps://www.britannica.com/topic/Burger-King-Corporationhttps://www.dairyqueen.com/en-us/about-us/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Previously on Doe Boys. Which bite are we giving to the Cenobites? Which is the best representation of dessert in this particular bracket, in this particular region? For me, I will say, this being a dessert tournament, my choice is pretty clear here. But I don't know which way this is going to go. I don't either.

We'll count down from three to one, and then we'll say in unison, what we think should advance Burger King or Sprinkles. Three, two, one, Sprinkles. Burger King. I didn't say anything. Well we say, we're locked in with Sprinkles and Burger King, Mitch you are the swing vote. Like Kevin Koster in the film, which way do you go? I don't know.

Queen, the Illinois founded soft serve pioneer, whose frozen treats have for decades made Midwesterners exclaim, to reference a different social media catastrophe, mommy milky. Whoever wins this frozen face off will move on to face a decidedly non-royal opponent, Vermont ice cream socialist Ben and Jerry, in this year's championship. Will the self-anointed king and queen of fast food never be royals, as Lord warned? Or will one of them claim the phone as their respective dessert menus pursue the most prestigious award in chain restaurant podcasting, the Dave Thomas Cup? This week on Doughboys, the second semi-sweet final match of Munch Madness 2021, the Tournament

of Chompians, Pie Noon, sponsored by Manscaped, Burger King versus Dairy Queen, let's go. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, the Irish Curse in human form, Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell. Wow. And the Irish Curse in, okay, all right, I mean, it's whatever. Because the Irish Curse, I think, just applies to people already, so. Yeah.

Yeah, it seems a little confusing. That's from Anthony, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, which will be the day before this episode releases. I came up with the before, your Manscaped ad referencing the Irish Curse, but it was saving it until close to the holiday. Hopefully it's not too redundant now. Rose Spoon Man at Gmail. Yeah, right.

You hack. You heard the Manscaped thing, and then you came up with this. You think he mencied you? He mencied me. He mencied our Manscaped ad? Which, hey, remember when mencied tried to steal jokes from Louis CK and how fucked up that was? Outrageous.

Disgusting. And we were so mad at Mencia for our friend, Louis CK. And then Dane Cook did the same thing, stole from Louis CK. How dare you, sir? But you know what? Justice was done in the end. That's right. We all had Louis back.

Yeah. Both those men are in prison. Wags, how you doing? I'm doing okay. How the hell did Spoon Nation, yeah? Did you celebrate St. Patrick's Day last night? And this is a question knowing that it hasn't happened yet. Right.

It's a few days away. So you're projecting into the future. You're just asking about me. Will I have celebrated St. Patrick's Day? I can say no. No. Yeah, certainly no. I'm not going to do anything.

It's funny because as of this record, this is the Saturday before it, we're celebrating St. Patrick's Day tonight at my house. My mom is boiling corned beef upstairs right now. That's real. Well, you're 100% Irish. You have done an ancestry.com or whatever site you use, Tess. Your heritage is 100% from the Irish side of the aisle. That's right.

It updated. It was like 3% Scottish and then it updated to 100% Irish, which we've talked about before. And a lot of people have pointed this out. Conan has said this before too, but that just means that you're like inbred. Means that you're fucking your Irish relatives were fucking each other in the bogs back in Ireland. That's what it means. I'm a bog person too.

I'm from Monster. I told you I'm from Monster Island, Ireland, Monster Ireland. And it's boggy. It was like bog people that hid in the bogs. That's why I'm like damp all the time. I am the Irish curse personified. Well then it worked out. Irish curse.

It was on point. Fucking sucks. Anyway, here's a drop wigs. Here we go. Vanilla shake. Yes. Vanilla shake. Yes.

Vanilla shake. Yes. Vanilla shake. Yes. Yes. Vanilla shake. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. The game you played at sleepover. One bad boy and one good boy. Fucking nasty. 69. 69. Fucking nasty.

69. Vanilla shake. Fucking nasty. Now. Didn't Drop King say that he was excited about this one? When did we say vanilla shake in unison? I have no memory of that. Me neither.

I have no idea. That's, yeah, that was, I was just confused there. I was just unnerved by that one. You think this is a deep fake? It might be. Hey Spoon Man, please check out this drop that I worked tirelessly on after my taxing children went to bed each night. There is a wave file attached, or you can go to the following link in stream slash download

it there, HTTPS colon forward forward SoundCloud.com forward slash user dash 682111155 slash forward slash the vanilla, the dash vanilla dash shake dash explicit dash version. There you go, Wags. We should do a bonus episode that's all you reading URLs. That was gripping. I wonder if anyone will actually be listening on their podcast app and frantically typing that out on their phone. I hope someone finds it.

I might have put one, one, too many. Have you met y'all fans? You know they're doing that right now. That was Brian B. He said, I hope Wally and Irma are thriving. Thanks for your time. That's it. Well done, Brian B. And Mitch, we should introduce our guests.

Yeah, we should. We've wasted too much of their time on a Saturday. Far too much already. Our guest co-host of the podcast, Carl calls his cousin, which you can find at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones, Carl Tartt and Asan Williams. What's up, guys? Oh my gosh. The boys, I tell you, it's good to be back and I brought a guest along.

Yo. I love it. I'm on this Saturday, this sweet pussy Saturday. Thank you so much for making time for us on a Saturday and also for driving out to Dairy Queen, which we'll get to in a second. But Carl, you've been on the podcast a number of times, man. No, I was just thinking about there's Saturday in the park. And then, is it Ludacris that has the song Saturday?

Is that a? It's Saturday. Sticky. Sticky. Sticky. Do you know that one, Wags? No. No, but it is, you know, it is oddly relevant to our topic.

We're talking desserts and desserts can get a little sticky. So there you go. So Ludacris says, I got a big, I think it's, I got a big weed stash pocket full of cash. Just seen a big. Just seen a big. Oh boy. It's Saturday. It's Saturday.

Ludacris is fun. I'm excited. You know what? The movies, I want to see the new Fast and the Furious, Wags. Fish don't pop in a stove. No more. Move don't up. Move don't up.

Double shot. Hennessy. Fill my cup. Fill my cup. What the fuck? Wags is very much observing this and not understanding. I'm taking it in. I'm learning things.

Thank you both for being here. Thank you both for driving out to Dairy Queen, as I said. And Carl, obviously a veteran of the podcast, a fan favorite, beloved Doughboy's guest. Asan, a first time guest. And I'm curious because I listened to your episode of your very, very funny podcast, Carl Calls His Cousin, where you discussed your hot food takes and you both have some hot ones. Asan, let's start here.

You think that, and correct me if I'm wrong, that garlic is overrated. Yeah. I think garlic is overrated. Wow. I think it's great when it's in the combination of seasonings and flavors, but when there's too much garlic in something, like when garlic is like the featured flavor, I feel like it distracts from whatever the meal is. Unless you're having like a garlic themed meal, like I'm having, you know, garlic mashed

potatoes. Right. That's not what you said. Too much garlic, of course, that's not a hot take. It's too much garlic, it's too much garlic. But there are people who believe that there's no such thing as too much garlic. Those people are wrong. I'm somewhat in that camp.

I find it hard to overgarlic something, but I guess you can reach that point. And I usually double the garlic in any recipe. It usually works out. Nick, have you ever eaten at the stinking rose? I have. Natalie and I, when we were dating, we went to the stinking rose very early on. God, this must have been, this would have been over like 15 years ago in the early part of our relationship.

Pam, you've been with your girl for 15 years. Have you ever had sex with anyone else? No, I'm just playing. I'm just kidding. Why's got it on back in the day? He's taking a couple of times. Sure. So.

But no, we were, I mean, I'm fucking 40. I'm old as shit. So we started dating when we were out of college. So I was 22. And yeah, so this would have been like 16, 17, 18 years ago, a long time ago before we were we were even living together. And that's the only time I've been there. Had a lovely meal.

I will say it was very, very garlicky, but the best dish was the thing that was just like a big old pile of fucking garlic cloves. It was just like literally garlic cloves. You're just smearing on bread and it was delicious. They get real soft and they become the consistency of butter. And it's crazy to think about it. And that's pretty good, I will say, at that place. I had a aunt growing up that would eat, like just take a clove of garlic and just

eat it with bread, because apparently garlic is good for your blood pressure. And so she would just take garlic, like whole garlic from the grocery store and just put it in bread and eat it. And it was the grossest shit I've ever seen. Also, when you get sick, when I was a kid, when it would be like for extra dose of vitamin C, my mom would just crush up a clove of garlic, like cut it up in real fine pieces and put it on a spoon and pour like a little orange juice on it. And I would have to like eat that in the morning to prevent from getting sick.

And that is why I haven't caught COVID. And I go to coughing parties every week. And I was just thinking about the poor. I was thinking about the poor souls that you were with before. Natalie probably still don't walk right is my guess. All right, let's take it easy. Nick beat the doonies. The doonies.

I saw where. So let's let's talk about fast food chain restaurants. Like what are some of your favorite chains? McDonald's is a is a is a staple in my childhood. I feel like McDonald's is like it's like it's like. It's like everyone's like fast food that like they're like the most familiar with, I feel like that's like everyone's like. But some of the ones I don't know if you got are you guys from California?

I so I'm a lifelong Southern Californian, Mitch is from Massachusetts. All right. Out in the Inland Empire, out in the 909, there is a chain called Bakers Drive through. I don't know if you guys have ever been there, but I've been to Bakers. Yes, on some road trips. Yes. Bakers is really good. That's one of my favorites.

I'm an in and out guy, but in terms of chains, I actually really like Taco Bell. They'll talk on another Southern Californian stable. Pretty much any fast food place, I have like a favorite thing on the menu. There's no fast food places I really don't fucks with, except for Arby's. I've never been to Arby's and nothing seems exciting about Arby's for me. That's my fault. And as a matter of fact, that's how we're going to Arby's today. Wow.

I love it. There's just something I just don't understand the appeal of like a roast beef sandwich from like a fast food chain. Until you eat it and we go in today. After we get done here, we're going to Arby's. Arby's another place that Natalie went to early on when we were dating. Not a joke. Jesus, why the fuck did she stay with Arby's?

Arby's is good as hell. You found the right place. Natalie, can I take it? Can I take it? Can I take you to this this garlic restaurant followed by an Arby's? He's in his bag. That's funny. I got to say this.

I just want to point out that that Carl has Agent M. We talked about it before the show. Agent M, Michael Jackson's cameo in Men in Black 2. It is Carl's Zoom background that he is kissing right now. Oh, man, that is such an insane. That just feels from a different world. It doesn't feel like that ever existed. Yeah.

That Michael Jackson made an appearance in Men in Black 2. It just doesn't feel real. It was funny, too. The Mandela effect. He was he had a stretch where he was like he was doing like little cameos and things. He was also an unlockable character and ready to rumble boxing for the Sega Dreamcast. Wow. And he like did like he was like had like Mo capped Michael Jackson dance moves as he was boxing.

What now? What version of Michael Jackson was this in the game? This was Agent M. Michael Jackson. Like this was like late period Michael Jackson. That's why I think with the the Bob here, could he this? Did he have like what was he wearing? Did he have like the black slacks with like the the white kind of button down? Like you are not alone, Michael Jackson video, Michael Jackson.

Do you remember that video memory serves? It was the it was the was it? Screamer was a scream. Oh, OK, Mo Walker. OK, look it up. Scream Michael Jackson with the Pong, you know, I had like a Pong thing. You know, I remember this why was it was it bad? Michael Jackson, where he had the like the fishnet, fingerless gloves

and black and white in the or was it was it fat? Michael Jackson, the weird Al Parity, where he was big. Oh, that was a lot of size. OK, wait, I got it. This is actually this is actually awesome. I'll share this with you. So I looked it up. Michael Jackson was.

Uh, he was what he is wearing, like kind of like a moon walker, a wardrobe, but then he's got the one, if you can see it there, he's got the one sparkly glove, like one of his boxing. Oh, yeah, it's like that's cheating. Sequins on the rhinestones. Yeah, that's a great fair advantage. I like I like that one one one is left and he had the boxing glove. He's still prepared.

He's still prepared. Funny. Did you do why did you play? Did you play moon walker, the old the old Genesis game? There was a Genesis game moon walker. Oh, yeah. Did you work on it like as a development guy? I didn't work on moon walker. I would have loved to I work.

I know I I play. Yeah, moon walker for Genesis. My friend had and then I've played it on emulation later. And then the arcade version actually probably played more of as a kid because that moon walker arcade game was like bad ass. It was kind of like a top down, you know, isometric view and the art was really good. I could say that I that I there I feel like there will never be. Like the the experience of watching the black and white video premiere

after the Simpsons, I don't think there will ever be anything like that ever again. Like that felt like it. I mean, that's a different world, too. But why? Because I'm sure you remember that you guys you guys may be a little too young for it. But I watch leaving neverland after the Simpsons. Oh, wow. That's a double feature.

Real shift in tone. Yeah, they premiered leaving neverland right after the Simpsons. Same way. Stay tuned, kids. Oh, fucks. There was there was a big there was a big when when black or white premiered, there was like a huge like it was a huge thing. And it premiered right after the Simpsons. All right, why is it was like and I think there was it.

Was it the Michael Jackson episode of the Simpsons where he did a voice? Oh, that's a I don't know. Or was it just a regular? I because he because he had an episode where he did the voice. I don't know if it was paired with that. I feel like that might have been a little too. I think it might have been later when OK, when they premiered it. Lisa, it's your birthday.

That was it. Yeah, at least it's your birthday. Yeah, taken off Disney Plus. It's gone. It's not on anymore. Wow. So it really was my they're erasing history. Remember, they nobody knew if it was actually Michael Jackson and people like that's not really him. So I guess it was because they took it up. Yeah, he didn't use his real net.

He used an alias in it. Agent M is I think what he went by. That was that was a great payoff for people who were paying attention when they were watching Men of Black. Oh, that's why I like the Agent M. Do you guys remember the you guys remember the 90s Fox voiceover guy? Oh, like because of the network was so edgy. Kevin, I'm next and all new and living color on Fox.

You like say it. Only on Fox. All new Simpsons on Fox. And you know, parents, parents hear that voice and they're like, this is no. I don't approve of this. I do not approve of this, man. Parker Lewis can't lose on Fox. He will not be watching this.

Let's switch it to home improvement. Check out our new news channel, Fox News, only on Fox. Making Kelly turns it up on Fox. So you mentioned the Michael Jackson video, the black or white, which aired after the Simpsons. That was actually somewhat of a controversy. I remember the time because and I don't know. I don't think I think they they took it up a car.

Yeah, he like beat up a car after he the video. And then there's just like an unrelated like short film where he just just smashes up a car like a bonus stage in Street Fighter. And people were outraged, parents were like, we're like, Mike Child was watching vandalism. How dare you? And then he like turns it to a panther, right? Yeah, yeah, you morphed into an animal.

My child was watching that. My child that I buy animal morphs books for. He turns into a panther and then he like, he goes to a bunch of panther cubs and starts cleaning them. It's fucked up. Yeah, subtext there. To get down. Him him destroying the car.

It's funny for a bunch of uptight people to be like, I can't see him getting any worse than this. What this man is destroying this car. He's hit a new low. That's it. That like whenever you see those like what do they call? When they call like citizens rights groups, like that would just complain about everything in the 90s.

You already knew that all those people were sexual deviants. They were jamming whatever they could of their assholes. Americans for better families or something. Yeah, like that. Like man, shut the fuck up. You know, those people were just deviants. Just yeah, they still are. I feel like every person like, you know, with when you hear rumors

of Lindsey Graham or whatever, all these people who are right wing and uptight. They of course, like, of course, I believe that they that they're letting loose somewhere and going crazy. There's no doubt, right? I read this long article and I want to say Esquire and it was about this like this like these male escorts who catered to men with cuckold fetishes. And they were talking about the kind of clients that they would see where they would go and they just like rail a dude's wife and he would like,

you know, look through the slats of his closet door or whatever. And they paid big money for this. And he was like, he was like, you know, it's great for networking because these are all very powerful people, you know, FBI agents, judges, police chiefs, like it was just like everyone in positions of authority. And I was like, that's well, yeah, that one hundred percent tracks. Why do you think I haven't been pulled over in three years? Why didn't you get a ticket?

I fuck back guys. Why? Yeah, I gave it to a real good. I was fucking like doonies. I was I was I was fucking like Nick before he met his wife. All right. I'm going to look up doonies on Urban Dictionary. While I'm doing that, you mentioned I got fixated on this because you mentioned it on your podcast and I've had it.

The Detroit style pizza hut pizza. Yeah, you end up getting it. We got. Yeah. Yeah, we did. What did you think? Underwhelming. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I can do well, man, especially when you've had real Detroit style as we have had fellas. Yes. Oh, yeah.

It was not. We had Benny's or the Jets. Yes, that's right. That's what we had. We had both and they were both far superior than pizza hut. Not that I wouldn't expect it isn't. Is it Benny's and Jets? Now I now I can't buddies.

It's buddies and Jets. Oh, buddy. OK. Yeah. I've been in the Jets buddies and Jets. I wrote a song Buddy and the Jets and it was it was it was it was. It was those two pizzas are fantastic. I think those those are really, really good, especially for like kind of chain. Those are chain pizzas and they're and they're great.

Well, it's the real thing. The my issue with the pizza hut Detroit style is that it's so sauce heavy and their sauce is bad. Yeah, it's just like this. It's just like tomato paste. They're pouring over it. That's just like underseasoned. It was really really just damp and lifeless.

So I didn't I didn't know what Detroit style pizza was other than that. It was like a thicker crust and it was cut into squares. So the sauce on top thing was a surprise for me. And then once I realized that I was like, oh, the sauce has to be really good for this to work. And then I proceeded to eat it and it was terrible. Also, a son does a weird thing with his pizza. A son, explain what you do with your pizza.

All right. So I have a very acute. Sometimes I have a very acute reaction to if I eat a lot of tomatoes, like, you know, like tomato heavy stuff, like sometimes like I'll get like welts and stuff in my back and I'll be itching and stuff really bad. So like I can have maybe it is. Maybe it is. So a lot of times instead of getting like pizza sauce on a pizza, I will sub it for Alfredo sauce.

And it is. Wow. And it is it is fantastic. Wow. Fantastic is a strong word. If you've never done it, I think you should. I think you should try it is heavy, but it's it's really good. Carl, it's like you're it's like you're one of your favorite NFL players. Tom Brady, he stays away from the nightshades.

He doesn't do it. My king, my king. TV 12, my king TV 12. All of our kings. He beat 12. He I think he stays away from nightshades, but but he has. He likes DeSano's Nick, the pizza place I like in LA. Oh, interesting. What is nightshades?

Night tomatoes are classified as nightshades, aren't they? Used by as what is that used? They're just used by witches. Oh, I think so. Yeah, if it's in a potion or a stewed up in a cauldron, it qualifies as a nightshade. I'll look up exactly what it is, because I thought it was also I thought it maybe also included mushrooms, but maybe I'm wrong.

Mushrooms seem like which like which is mushrooms, too. Yeah, I think so. What are nightshades? I'm looking it up. Strawberries. OK. It looks like white potatoes, eggplant, bell peppers, tomatoes. No mushrooms. Those are the kinds of things. It's like stuff with like a like a skin on it.

That's what it seems like. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know where that what the etymology is. Nightshade. Yeah, I don't know what it is either. So that was good. That was good detective work. I had no idea why I was like, what do those have in common? I didn't get that at all.

Yeah, they all kind of have that like weird like vegetable skin. You know, right? All vegetables have a vegetable skin, but not like that, though. Eggplant and tomato skin is like thick. Like it's like it's like human skin. What? Like you can stab a tomato, you know, like you can't stab a like what's in a like a head of lettuce. I can stab a head of lettuce, but it's not as satisfying.

Why? Why? Why? We'll tell you that you can stab anything you want to stab, right? What? What are you implying? I'm implying you're a bit of a freak. I'm not going around giving it to vegetables. That's what you're saying. You don't carry a pocket knife with you when you go in the grocery store.

Just to get just shanking a rutabaga, the weird one for that. This will make me look more weird than likes. But I remember like when I was young in the first time, like I realized you could like cut stuff. My mom had like a butcher knife and she had a cactus plant. And I was like, oh, look, I can like cut off the leaves by doing this. And I cut up the entire cactus. She was like, what the fuck are you doing?

I just like been cutting off the cactus leaves, but I had never like experienced, you know what I'm saying? Like I never I had never. I mean, I shouldn't have been using the knife. I feel like. Yeah. Was it like a was like a really sharp knife that could just like shot? You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

It was it was it was like it was it was one of those shots. It was a shot knife where you just shot you could cut anything you wanted to. Did you guys go through a fire phase? I went through a fire phase. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then also you always with I think, especially with boys, there's always just like one of the one of your friends will be like in the fire phase for too long or we'll take it too far. And it's right. It sucks. Yeah.

The fire phase is very it's that's a that's a bad. That's a bad phase for for for young boys. I'd say like eleven or something or ten or eleven. I was like nine. We would go back. We would go back in my grandma's backyard and just build fire pits. Yeah. Yeah. Just hang out.

But you were kind of like a were you in a more rural area or were you like a suburban area? It was suburban, but it was still Mississippi. So it's like, you know, it's rural by nature. But it was it wasn't it was like, you know, a neighborhood there was. But everybody has like big ass yards, you know, right? So we would just go. That's when when when you know the trick with the lighter, if you like the big lighter, if you hold it and then you can like,

I shouldn't say this for our listeners, because just like they'll go like just like they'll go to that website. They'll probably fucking do this now and burn themselves to death. But you hold the lighter upside down, the big lighter. And then it starts to and then it like basically does like a pyro show. Like it starts like and I did like that sort of shit I did when I was younger or like kids around me did it. But a terrible like a terrible what a terrible phase that I feel like a lot

of like that pyro phase and Beavis and Butthead Wags. That's what I was going to say around our age. Beavis and Butthead was a sensation and Beavis, this whole thing, you say like fire, fire. And so like kids would conflate being into fire with with doing the same joke they'd heard on a TV show or movie to get laughs at middle school. And so there'd be like pyro kids who were even more pyro because of Beavis's encouragement. Wow. It's all Beavis. It's all Beavis's fault.

It's Beavis's fault. And the family television council was out there complaining about it. No one was listening. We can't believe that this Beavis and Butthead is on while our children are watching Fox and while our children are watching MTV. Here, honey, take this hot wine bottle and shove it up my ass. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys.

We are here with Carl Tartt and Asan Williams. And it's time to get in a munch madness. Twenty twenty one, the Tournament of Chompions, Pie Noon, sponsored by Manscaped. So Mitch Burger King is in this week's competition. I think probably a surprise, maybe a surprise to our guests, given that this is a dessert tournament. Yeah. BK is back, though. BK is back.

Besides that tweet they did on International Women's Day. They are back. And wags. I mean, especially when when the whopper became available to eat for, which was the commissioner's ruling. Yes, that that was that was big for BK. And you know what? That BK Hershey's Pie is good.

I mean, it deserves to be here. It is good, but it wasn't your pick, Mitch. And there would have been a different sprinkles cupcakes if you had voted in in this past, this most recent double up, you didn't vote. It was it was very it was reminiscent of eight mile when when the rabbit I haven't seen eight mile since I saw it in theaters. But doesn't he freeze up on stage at one point?

You did have mom's spaghetti on your sweatshirt. But that's just kind of like an everyday thing. Mom's spaghetti. So our guess was Danny Fernandez on Tuesday's double, this past week's double, it was Burger King versus sprinkles cupcakes. It comes down to the the finish. We all are supposed to say in unison which bite we are giving to the center bites, which one will advance the next round.

I say sprinkles. Danny says Burger King. Yeah, Mitch says nothing. Just says nothing. So it's tied. We throw it to our producer, Emma Urbrink, who unfortunately couldn't be with us for today's record. Who would have thought that in anything I do,

I'd blow it. Even this fucking low stakes fast food podcast where it doesn't matter what you say, I still fucking went silent and couldn't give an answer. I suck. Why? Because I fucked up. What do you want me to do? You're fine. But I mean, but it just created this little bit of a controversy, this little bit of a sprinkles rat fuck, if you will.

Where we threw it to Emma, Emma was like, I my sprinkles was horrible. I'm going to Burger King. So then now it was a two one vote. Then you decide you want to weigh in. You say sprinkles. So now it's knotted up. Then Danny says, well, I'm the guest. I get two votes.

We just agree to that because we're like, sure. Yeah. And that's why and that's why Burger King is here. Wags, you know, I don't know how much more lead in we could give to the person that's supposed to come in any second now. Yeah. So we had the. I don't know what the fuck is going on. It's like some sort of. Whether there's some sort of.

Happening the time we've been marking. Yes. How many times we've reset the same thing over and over again, waiting for some sort of interruption, if you will. And there still isn't one. What is the recap of this past Tuesday's Doughboys double Danny Fernandez. Well, again, whoa, oh my God.

It's the commissioner. It's the commissioner of the Doughboys tournament of champions, Evan Susser. Wow. You know, my music was playing. I would have thought you would have reacted to the music playing. We didn't hear your fucking music screen. We couldn't hear it.

Well, I wanted to not have a screen. I wanted the music first. Maybe the Zoom technology screwed me. OK, I want to make a brief statement. And then I'll take some questions. OK. What is your background? WrestleMania.

Oh, WrestleMania. Also, Susser is wearing a full suit just for us. And I got a question for you, Susser. Did you write in the end of the questions? Oh, on the most recent Doughboys double, Mike Mitchell, AKA Mr. Slay, refused to vote on Sprinkles versus BK because he was, quote, too scared. This is a shirking of responsibility,

and he will be penalized at a later time. Wow. Wow. Penalized as a consequence of Mitchell's actions, Sprinkles will not be competing in Fat Chance Kitchen. Wow. Wow. Because I am unilaterally canceling Fat Chance Kitchen. Wow. The loser's bracket, Fat Chance Kitchen, has been exiled.

Wow. It instead, next week's Doughboys double will be replaced with the shipping chews, a new bracket, and a chance to leapfrog into the final. I don't know if I get the name, the shipping what? There's, I think it's a reference to a novel, the shipping news. Oh, the contestants. There's also a movie.

The contestants will be Sprinkles Cupcakes. Wow. Wow. And Cinnabon. Oh, wow. Cinnabon. To clarify, this does not negate the if you're in a mall, you can't play ball rule. That rule is still in effect.

But I figured out you can get Cinnabon shipped to you. So we're doing that. And Cinnabon is in the tournament. Wow. And you can get Sprinkles shipped to you, as we know, from Mitch's experience. So we will be. Well, it's the shipping chews. That's why it's the shipping chews.

Got it. We'll be, we'll have mail order cupcakes and mail order Cinnabons. Oh, yeah. And one more thing. The guest will be Cookie Entrepreneur, Kevin T. Porter. Wow. Key of the Kevin Bacon cookie shop, Mitch. So, Susser, Mitch, you saw that Susser just dropped his microphone. Press the least earned microphone drop of all time.

I think I broke it. Jesus. So we probably shouldn't talk too much. But if you have any questions, we got, we got some questions. Yeah. Yeah. One, are you broadcasting from a submarine in the Mariana Trench? That was really my question. I can't believe that every Susser has written episodes of television on this

quality zone. That's the AirPods Pro, instead of just the shitty AirPods. But I was, I couldn't pair them to this computer in time to get on this call. And I got Liger text to me, if I was going to do my big surprise to do it already. What computer is this? Is that a Dell? I got a Dell, dude. That's the impact for Sario.

Jeez, believe. Any other questions about the tournament? I looked up the just real quick on more context for the shipping news. This was a novel by, I believe, Annie Prule, is a P-R-O-U-L-X adapted into a 2001 feature film starring Kevin Spacey. Wow. So there you go. Perfect fit for the podcast.

Yeah, boy. Figured out. I was so rushed to get on. I forgot to click record on the good sound. So Jesus Christ. Oh my God. There's nothing. There's nothing in really bad.

I'm going to get off now. Susser, hold on a second. First of all, it took you so long to get on and you didn't do anything. I'm very out. Was it, was, was the long time you changing into a suit? Here is the thing. Why are you told me 230 to 315? I thought there is no chance it's going to be right at 230.

And especially with everything going on with them. I thought there's no way you're going to be ready in time. But I was wrong. You, yeah, you were fucking way wrong. Also, I have one last question for you. Before your WrestleMania background, you had, you had the, the oval office and then it quickly went off and you were in a suit in a very depressing hallway.

Where, where is that hallway? It's where I'm staying here in DC. Wow. Okay. Yeah. I hope that you're safe. You know, it's where I'm staying. Everything's fine.

All right. All right. Cryptic. Yeah. Very cryptic. I got another question. Yes. Go ahead.

Did I do something wrong to you guys? Because y'all going to have a Sprinkles cupcakes versus Cinnabon. And yet I had to go to Dairy Queen and Burger King. You did nothing wrong. You are a prince, of course. We, uh, yeah, this is just how the bracket worked out. All right. All right.

I won't take it personally. Susser, thank you so much for your time. Stay safe out there in your undisclosed location in Washington, DC. We'll add in your music, Susser. We could always could have done that. Goodbye, Suss. Bye, Suss. Bye.

Bye. Emma isn't here for one episode and everything just collapses. I cannot wait for the listeners to experience what we just experienced. So the rules of the Tournament of Champions to recap. Just desserts, meals may not appeal. Mijizal, if you're an entree or main, you cannot join the game. Second rule. If your drink is not slushy, wiger will get fussy.

The juice is not loose. Number three, donuts. Donut count. This applies to all breakfast pastries. For the quality of our podcast, it should sound that way. Like that's the, that's what it should sound like for what the quality of the podcast is. Yeah. If the content matched the audio quality, it would sound like Susser's, uh, Susser's audio.

Number four, if it's in a mall, you can't play ball. And number five, if it's national, it's national. No regional chains allowed. And the regions for the tournament are the Creamsman region, the junior prom region. And what we will be covering today, the easy bake region versus the shaken, not stirred region. This is the second of two semi-sweet final matches. This is the winner of the easy bake region. Burger King versus the winner of the shaken, not stirred region.

Dairy Queen, the full bracket is available at Chalange.com slash Munch Madness 2021. Now, now, Carl, I gotta, I gotta say challenge that you would, you would, you would rather be here for the Cinnabon and the Sprinkles episode, but I gotta say, this is a big one. This is, this is, this is the biggest episode until the finale, finale, basically, in that this is Dairy Queen has been making a lot of noise. It's, it's, it's a, it's, it's a big one. It's, it's one that's a, it's a favorite right now to, to maybe go to the final. Okay.

And BK is, is the Cinderella story, which is, which is, which has been making noise in the bracket. So this is, this is a big, this is a big episode. And I'm wondering, but I, but I'm wondering going into it, if you're not a DQ fan, if you're not a, if you're not a DQ person, because to me, that DQ is, is this thing from childhood that I just, you know, it was a special treat. Why is I think you feel the same way, right? You were, you're. Love DQ.

Yeah. Huge DQ. That was a good report card treat for me. Let's go get some DQ. I loved it. Asan, are you a DQ fan? I haven't had a ton of experience with, with Dairy Queen, honestly. There wasn't a Dairy Queen near where I grew up.

And I really think my first real experience with it was in adulthood, was like a couple of years ago, I went to Texas and had like a proper Dairy Queen experience off of a random highway in Texas. Yeah. So I mean, I would consider myself a novice Dairy Queen experience or. Got it. Yeah. Wow.

And Carl, you, you expressed some skepticism. No, no, no, I grew up loving Dairy Queen. Dairy Queen was a, in my hometown in Pasagulla, Dairy Queen was, it's whole ass on place that all, I remember the smell of it. I remember the teens hanging out at the Dairy Queen. The Nair duels. Yeah. Yeah.

Like teenagers in there, I'd be scared to go in when I was like nine. Ten right. I was gonna steal my money. So can I ask you guys a question that have, that have a lot of Dairy Queen experience? Is Dairy Queen like the, do you, as a kid, when you're awarded, were you going for the ice cream or were you going for like the, the food? Ice cream. For me, for me, it was Blizzard.

Blizzard, okay. I was like getting a Blizzard. That, that, that treat was unique to Dairy Queen. It was a revelation the first time I tasted one. And it was all I wanted from that point forward. And even me getting McFlurries is chasing that Blizzard high. I'm like, I'm, I'm having a McFlurry because it's easier to get than a Blizzard, but I'd rather have a Blizzard because that's the good stuff.

The Burger King, I remember the chicken strips were big in the, in the 2000s. But in the 90s, did Burger King have food? You mean Dairy Queen? Dairy Queen? I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, Dairy Queen. Did Dairy Queen have food? Yeah, yeah. It depends on.

I like, I like the question of Burger King having food in the 90s. They had toys. Huge misstep, huge misstep for them in the 90s. They discontinued food for a time. Yeah, they had those toys. They're big sellers. Sorry, I'm a misogynist. I refuse to say Queen.

No, did Dairy Queen have food? They had hot food, but so Dairy Queen, part of their, part of their brand, and I think part of, because they're so dessert focused, they have the, the, the Brazier ones, I think it's called Brazier, Brazier, and I'm not quite sure how to pronounce it, whether it rhymes with Brian Grazer or whether it rhymes with Frazier, but it's, but they, or Brazier, maybe it's Brazier. Maybe it's like a bra. I think it's Brazzers.

It's Brazzers, it's Brazzers. That's what it is, they're Brazzers version. And at the Brazzers locations, they serve full menu. Yeah. They also have the, I think the Grill and Chill locations where they, they serve a smaller hot food menu and then they have just the treat centers. The treat centers serve only desserts. So it depends on where you go.

For me, there was Brigham's Wags and Dairy Freeze is the local one in Quincy, where people would have their, uh, which I, which I think is like the, you know, John Mellencamp sings, uh, sucking on chili dogs outside the taste to freeze, which is I think just a Dairy Queen fill in basically. But that's the same sort of thing. Those ice cream stands where we're near dewells. We're hanging, the, the teen near dewells were hanging out and there was, and there's like some hot, I feel like the hot food.

Yeah. It was always like a hot dog level, like hot dogs and onion rings. And then, and then ice cream as well. Uh, but a very, a very Americana type of thing. Why is it, it's, it's a, yeah. Me and Nick are from the ghetto. We are from the, we're just a couple ghetto boys living in the ghetto streets. So we have, we have Foster's freeze in South Central Los Angeles.

Foster freeze. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. I remember the Foster's freeze. That was a big, uh, that was a big one for me as well. And I put that on par with Dairy Queen in terms of, I'm going to go get myself a, a sweet treat.

Yeah. What's he going to do when he grows up and has to face responsibility? Well, the, the, the battle is it's a royal battle here, Burger King versus Dairy Queen. And let's just get into it. I will begin with my Burger King. We'll start with Burger King. Everyone go around and say what you got and what you thought.

And then we will pivot over to the Queen. Um, I got the Hershey's Sunday pie, which is the whole reason that Burger King bought its way, uh, into the, the competition, fought its way into the competition. I was trying to say past tense of bite, but then that's bought. It's a different word. Uh, it fought its way into the competition via the Hershey's Sunday's pie, which is a crunchy chocolate crust.

Is the past, is the past sense of bite bit? Bit. Yeah. But then, but I was trying to say like, like a pun on, on fought. Like when you were, like when, when you were rewarded for your report cards, like why didn't bite any of the other children? That was on the report card. It was, that was, yeah, then it was off to Dairy Queen.

I only have one biting incident on my permanent record. I learned my, my lesson very, very young. So I stopped biting. Did you really bite someone? I bit my next door neighbor. You bit your next door neighbor. What the fuck you did? Yeah.

But it was, I was like, I was like four. What happened? Maybe six. Um, she was, so she used to, she was older than me, she was older than me. My next door neighbor, Nicole, and she, uh, used to babysit me and I probably was in love with her, but didn't know how to process it. So she was like babysitting me and then, and then she was leaving and I was like, I said, no, and I grabbed her arm and I bitter to prevent her from leaving.

Um, I got in a lot of trouble. That's toxic. Yeah. I was, it was, it was toxic masculinity. Yeah. Is this the pilot episode to fucking Hannibal likes? And I developed a taste for flesh. So there we go.

The, the Hershey Sunday pie was, it was good this time. I will say the first time I had it, I was like, wow, this is like a chain, like a sit down chain restaurant quality dessert. When I had the first time I had it for the tournament, I was like, this is like something you get at a Chili's. This time I was like, no, this is more like a, like a frozen, serially cold case dessert, you know, that you get at a grocery store. Still good, but it wasn't as like, oh, this really over-performed.

This is more like, okay, this is kind of what I expected. I also got the chocolate fudge Sunday, which was a real let down. Um, this is supposed to be, uh, uh, you know, they, they call it fudge to me. It just, it just seemed like Hershey's syrup pulled, uh, poured over vanilla soft serve, and I don't think their soft serve is the highest quality. Um, and, uh, and the, honestly, though, the, the, the chocolate sauce was the big disappointment here. It wasn't at all hot.

It was like, you know, I got it. I ate it almost right away and it was basically just like, just like room temper, cold syrup poured over, uh, again, this kind of mediocre soft serve. So that was kind of a let down. And the final component I got was the frozen Coke. Uh, now Danny Fernandez recommended the frozen Fanta. They did not have the frozen Fanta. They only had the frozen Coke, which.

To its, to its credit is only $1, $1 for their frozen drinks right now. To its detriment, there was a, a 7-eleven not far from the Burger King I went to. And I would have much rather had a Coke Slurpee than this frozen Coke. I mean, it, it was fine, but it's just like the syrup was a little separated from the ice. It was, it was not the best, uh, slushy texture. I don't know. It wasn't, it wasn't the most exciting outing from Burger King.

I'm going to say this. I don't know if I'm a hundred percent sold on the Coke Slurpee altogether. I think that the carbonation. Interesting. Being gone. I don't, I don't know. I know that you loved it. Wags, but I never got it growing up and then I had one and I did enjoy it one time.

But maybe I just rather get like a cherry Slurpee or something. I like, uh, like give me a cherry Slurpee or some sort of fruit flavored Slurpee instead. Have you ever tried mixing the two cherry and Coke? No, that's a great idea. I mean, that's is really good. It's fantastic. Yeah. That's again, strong word.

It's fantastic. He's getting thrown around. Coke, Coke Slurpee is not who wants that? Oh, it's great. If I was a Coca-Cola, I'm going to drink a Coca-Cola. Yeah, like, I don't want, I want blue or red. Yeah. And whatever new.

That's what I'm saying, Carl. I feel the same way. Mountain Dew, Monster Energy Drink, one that they got back there. That's the one I want that one to. Oh, you do want that one? Yeah, no, if I'm in eighth grade, I want that whatever is written in like that, like, like as if somebody scratched it into a wall that far. Surge.

Like, whatever is that back there? Extreme. Oh, oh, fucks. Those are fun to try. I always find myself going home to Coke Slurpee. Another place that Natalie and I went to when we were dating early on, we'd go to 7-Eleven, get Coke Slurpees. Hit up Arby's, hit up the stinkin' rose.

Why did you, at the end of the night, did you bite her arm goodnight? My uncle used to get, he used to mix Coke and Pina Colada. And I just go, that's how you know your old man. If those are, if those are the two flavors that are doing it for you. Yeah. You know what, though, Pina Colada Slurpee is pretty good. I, I, it's pretty good. Brown and white Slurpee, no thank you.

Pina Colada also does make me feel old and that, that was when I was a kid, that was like one of the few, and then like the cherry would be out and I'd get Pina Colada. But I've heard a lot of, we, we, we were going to do a double on people mix Coke and wine, why? So we were going to try some red, red wine and Coca-Cola things. Oh wow. Like some French shit.

I don't personally like that, but I can see why I'm not going to yuck people's yum on that one. If you want to do that, go ahead. Yeah. But it's, it seems intense. I believe it's from the Basque region of Spain. And I have no idea why it took hold there, but people, but people love it. Mitch, let's talk about your Burger King.

All right. I went and got Burger King about 40, 30 minutes before we started recording. I was supposed to pick up Irish soda bread for the corned beef dinner because the corned beef is boiling upstairs, but I couldn't do it why? So I went right to Burger King. There was a line outside the bakery. And I got myself a Whopper meal.

Oh yeah. I also got, I got an impossible Whopper. I got a, a watch, a number one with cheese medium with a diet Coke. I kept saying diet Coke and then it was a regular Coke. So I got a regular Coke with it. And then I got an Oreo shake because I had heard such good things about this Oreo shake and they asked if I want a whipped cream on. I said, yes.

And then I got the Hershey's Sunday pie for, for maybe the last time. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Wow. I mean, who knows? I'm not saying who knows, but we've had, I've had this so many times that my mom has been like, you have to get a Hershey's pie again. She said this over and over to me.

I'm like, I have to do it for the podcast. I have to get the Hershey's pie. And she's like, you had it four days ago. You can just remember it. And I say, no, this is important. I have to get the pie. I got to taste it again. So I got the stupid Hershey's pie and I got up there and they didn't have

whipped cream on the thing, but the guy noticed and he said, you want it? I said, no, you know what? It's fine. I'm just going to go with it as is. And why? That fucking Oreo shake is good. You're 100% right. Yeah, it was great.

I had a last episode. We were going to, we were going to let five guys in on the tournament. We were thinking about adding five guys, but that BK's Oreo shake is, is just as good and having other options. I think it just beats it. I don't know. I just, I wouldn't go that far, but it is. It did overperform.

It's okay. So five guys should be in the tournament. I'm trying to get us out of trouble. You idiot. The, the BK Oreo shake is they do, they do a good version. They do a really good version of it. It's good. The ice cream tastes good.

I don't know. I enjoyed it. And then the BK, the, the Hershey's Sunday pie we've had so many times now, but yes, they do a good job of it. Like, like, like it is, it does feel like a store bought dessert, but it's good. And then I got to say BK is back. That whopper was fucking fantastic. My coke was tasting good.

The fries were hot and good. It was, I enjoyed, I enjoyed my meal quite a bit. So I mean, like, if the whopper's in it, the whopper wins the dessert tournament. I mean, that's what's, that's what's tricky. Yeah. We can't act. I don't think we can actually evaluate the whopper because it will completely tip the scales towards BK.

Um, and that's not the point of this, but yeah, the, I will say is, and I've made this point before, as someone who's not eating meat this year, uh, 2021, no meat shell, I eat the impossible whopper is an absolute game changer. It is so consistently good. I have an announcement in 2021. No meat. Shall I beat? I will not jack off all of 2021.

Uh, we'll check in with you later in the episode. See if you're still sticking to that. Asan, your, your Burger King experience. Yeah. Uh, so I got the, I also got a whopper meal, uh, with cheese. Uh, and I got, uh, what else did we get? Uh, the Hershey pie and, uh, with, uh, yeah. And that was it.

Uh, what did you think? Um, all right, I'll start with the Hershey pie. I was, now granted, I was not hungry when I ate this Hershey pie, but I think the Hershey pie was very, very, very, very bad. Wow. What a bummer. Wow. We got to tell, we got to set the scene.

All right. So, uh, Asan and I. So Asan lives with girlfriend and he's whipped. And so, so we don't have to, uh, we like, he's always like, we can't take this back to the house. We can't, we can't take this burger. Okay. What am I?

What am I? So, let me, let me establish because I had already told my girlfriend. I'm like, Hey, we're going to go get Dairy Queen because we're doing this podcast. So she can't also know about the burger, the Burger King. And I had to, I had to let him know. I was like, this is work. Are you kidding? This is what there's integrity to this.

This is work. This is how I pay my bills. This is how I feed my family. This is what I, this is how I, like, this is not for play play. I'm not just, on what day would I regularly just go to a Dairy Queen and into a burger? This is my job. These are my bosses. Two bosses.

So I, I, we have to set the scene. So as soon as we get into the Burger King line, I ask to sign what he wants because he is a person who waits till he gets to the window to make all these changes and says I'm slow and I hate that. That's, I hate that. Right. You got to get, get what's on the menu. Unless you, like, unless you're allergic to it, but don't just go, let me, let me.

But their, their slogan is literally have it your way. No, have it their way. All right. But a sign. So we get to the, we get to the window. We pull up and we're like three cars behind from the drive through. And so I say, tell me what you want now. It's not how do you, how would you ask for it on your burger?

All right. So if I get a whopper from Burger King, I get no tomato because I don't believe tomato belongs on any burger. Wow. I, another one of them takes, I get no pickles just because I don't like pickles. Like I just don't like the taste of pickles. I don't like vinegar like that. And then from Burger King, I do like onion on a burger, but at Burger King, I

don't particularly want onion on that. So I will get the whopper with no tomato, no tomato, no onions, no pickles. So just lettuce. You just like, you just get lettuce and you just the lettuce on there. Yeah. Lettuce, cheese, mayonnaise and ketchup. And then also when we got to the window after we ordered it, he was like, oh, this just got mustard on it because I'm not eating it.

If it's got much, I said, again, this is work. Okay. You're not going to, you will eat the food. I'm trying to bring you in. I did not get mustard on it. It did not come in mustard on it, which is a great thing. I'm trying to bring you into a different world. So you think that you ain't never seen.

So we get up there, I do the order. I ordered our whoppers. I get it their way. Bad boy. I like that. How whopper is supposed to be gotten bitten once bitten. And bought in fighting. Yeah, bit or bought.

Nick, you thought it was bought, right? You thought it was bought. Yeah. Once bought. And I get the whopper and then get his whopper, his ridiculous whopper and I ordered some fries. And then I have a diet, Dr. Pepper, a DDP, DDP yoga.

Yeah, and he gets a Sprite, I believe. Yeah. And how was your Sprite? Sprite was hitting. The Sprite was the best part. Yeah. OK, hold on. Wait a minute now.

Best part. Oh, and then I get the DDP. I get a DDP and then that's when we get into the desserts. Yeah. I, as I've said before, I am ironically not a big chocolate guy. So yes, the options are limited for me. Now, with that being said, I will, you know, I'll do what I have to do. I was upset.

I was taken aback by something that I hadn't noticed. Burger King has gotten rid of the Dutch apple pie. Yeah, Carl, this is this is that was my favorite. I have my mouth all tuned up. As soon as y'all said, as soon as y'all said that we had to get Burger King, I had my mouth all tuned up for a Dutch apple pie. I was like, I'm about to eat it like this. I'm about to turn it to the side.

I'm about to take it out completely out of the cardboard. Or should I, like, you know, I was I was preparing for it mentally. Like, I'm about to get a Dutch apple pie. I get that. I say, you ain't got nothing. What you gonna do when you get you got a Dutch apple pie? And then they don't have it. So I order a vanilla milkshake, which I still have here right now.

This is a 24 hours old and. I get a Hershey pie. Now, we did have cookies in a meal. Of recent, when we were sneaking, getting Burger King. By the way, your vanilla milkshake blended into Agent M behind you. Yeah. A vanilla Agent M shake. Turned into a Jesus juice.

That was that was wine and coke. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. But it it I get this vanilla milkshake and we get the Hershey pie. And so we go and sit in a parking lot like two fucking slobs because he doesn't want to take it in his house and. Is raining the moot is set and we start to eat our burgers. And so I explain your burger, what it tasted like.

Like, OK, so Burger King back in the day, right? When we were kids used to hit so hard, like Burger King was like. And then I remember like I remember at some point learning the trick where you can ask them, like, can I have my burger fresh off the broiler, please? And they would do that for you. Like they would take one directly off the fire and put it on you. Like the burger now, like I can I can taste that they're microwaving the patty because like when you bite into it, it has like the flame grilled flavoring.

But the the patty itself is like dry. So it's like and the type of dry that only results from like microwaving something. And it was just like and they try to overcompensate for the dryness of the patty with like the amount of condiments they put on it. So it was like this weird sort of like slippery wet, but also like at the center, dry kind of burger experience. And it sucks because so it was bad. But Burger King used to be so good.

And I think that's what like is ultimately so disappointing about it. Yeah, I think I think there was because the flame flame broiler just getting a hot fresh one off the flame broiler back in the day was was huge when you get a hot like a hot fresh burger like that. And I do think that I think there's something that they did to cut down on time where they maybe store it in something and maybe even do new kid or whatever they do. But they they're they're definitely they're definitely taking them off

that broiler and putting them into like a storage compartment. Right. I think there's also something to there's a lot of locational variants with yes, that's the thing which is kind of like like they're very much good ones and bad ones. And I went to a I went to a good one, which was right across from a building where I used to work with where I used to work for years. And I would I would lunch there. So I knew it was high. It was a high quality BK.

But yeah, I mean, I think that maybe that was part of the issue or maybe just I don't know. Maybe they maybe they had a bad day. That's a bummer, though. I'm I'm the when you said that the Sprite was the best part was the highlight. That's a that's really bad news that experience. This is why that's important. Yeah, it is it is important because I trust me, I would love to know where the good Burger Kings are because I love Burger King

and I was going into this wanting it to be good because even there are people who like who swear that they they swear by the old Burger King fries. I I enjoy the new Burger King fries when they're hot. But this particular batch wasn't it wasn't great. So like I want to find the good Burger Kings because I wanted this to be good so bad because when I hear the word whopper, my mouth starts elevating. You know, I forgot to say that the dude who was working the window roasted me. He did. Oh, wow.

Carl had on like a salmon colored like track suit because it's Carl and we pull up to the we pull up to the window. The worker is like, I like that jacket, man. That's fly. You look like a fly salmon. But then so we in the car, we we finished his burger and a son is, you know, near vomiting because we had we had our we had our other restaurant before we went to Burger King. Yeah. And now I didn't tell him the rules of how to play this and how to

pace yourself, how to write, you know, get small sizes, how to, you know, if I know we got a lot of eating to do, like, you all because y'all know we we were in where are we at between Milwaukee and Cleveland, where we. Yes, we ate a lot that day. Yeah. And Milwaukee, Detroit and Cleveland all in one day. But yeah, it was gnarly. So we get we now it's time and he's like, oh, man, all right, you got to take me home. Like, like, we don't like the burgers we eat half of them.

And it's like, OK, yeah, there's no more we can do this. And he said, you got to take me home. I said, no, no, no, no, there's no home. We have a job to do. You got to eat that pie, King. You got to eat that chocolate Hershey pie. And he goes, why don't you eat it? I said, I don't like chocolate.

I haven't I have an exemption. I have an exemption. You have to eat the chocolate pie. And he's like, all right, I'll eat it later. I said, no, no, no, no, no. You can't eat it later because now you're not going to do it. Right. You have to eat it now while it's fresh. And I have to see you eat it as a representative

for Doughboy's media. I have to see. And so I have to see you eat it. And I'm watching this. I put my I put my loaves on and watch this with with the shit eating grain because I know it's about to be bad. So he starts taking a bite. And I have to take a bite so I can review it as well.

Y'all, when I tell you. That pie was so disgusting. Oh, my God. It was so bad. I don't know what they did to that one. And you know what? The whipped cream on top of my shake, fresh, good vanilla milkshake. Great, by the way, I like Burger King shakes.

They thin like I like them. And then if I put them in the fridge overnight, they get even thinner. Now this is just milk. But. That it was like there was a sour factor to the whipped cream. Did you notice that? A song? Yeah. Yeah. There was some weird.

That is not going on. Yeah, it was not. Yeah. It sounds like you went to a bad BK and this maybe was a bad Hershey's pie on top of it. You. Yeah. This this could have been a bad this could have gone bad. Why this sounds like a spoiled Hershey's pie. I should have known that it was a bad BK when that dude roasted me.

I said, who the fuck you think you're talking to? I got the vaccine. I'll come through this window. He said, enjoy your pie right before we drove off. He put a green finger. We'll take a break. We'll be back with our thoughts on Dairy Queen. Wow. Here in the Doughboys Tournament of Champions.

Welcome back to Doughboys. We're here with Carl Tartt and Asan Williams. Wikes. Yes. The Quincy McDonald's was featured in Brutalist McDonald's to that Twitter website, the my Quincy McDonald's. Wow. Because it just looks like, you know, Brutalist McDonald's, that that Twitter handle that just shows like awful looking McDonald's.

Yeah, the Brutalist School of Architecture. Right. That's like the whole. Yeah. It's in that's great, Mitch. That's that's there's going to be a parade. What's going to house it? How's Quincy going to celebrate? Well, there was there was a comment that was like that that that McDonald's looks like a prison in the high school across the street.

Looks like a prison. There's a comment on that. And that's my my alma mater. Wow, Quincy High School right across the street. Wow. So but I was very proud. That's my local McDonald's. And I was just thinking about it today. Where did you spend more hours growing up?

That school or that McDonald's? Probably Fonder memories of the McDonald's. 100 percent. Let's talk Dairy Queen as we continue much madness. Twenty twenty one, the Tournament of Champions, high noon. And speaking of Queens, our own Emma Erdbrink reemerged over the break. Hi, Emma. Hello, I apologize. It's zoom audio right now.

You're fine. Oh, we had a we had a complete debacle with Evan Susser's audio earlier. I'm sorry, you have to clean up that mess. I understand that whatever I sound like is better than whatever Susser sounded like. 100 percent. It's like you're a janitor who showed up to to your shift like halfway through and then every toilet is clogged and a kid like threw up on the floor.

It's like, sorry, we completely fucked up everything without you. But it's OK. I'm here to clean it up. I'm sure if you're listening to this, it's all been cleaned up. That's that's that's kind of that's kind of like when we're on tour wigs, wherever we go. Every toilet is clogged and there's some throw up on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. So my Dairy Queen experience, I replicated what I did

when we had Eva Anderson on for Doughboy's Double and I got one Blizzard and one Julius. And in hindsight, I regret not not additionally getting like a Sunday, some sort of ice cream treat. But that said, even with that with its emission, this was a stellar outing from Dairy Queen. I got the Snicker Doodle Cookie Dough Blizzard, which is cookie dough and cinnamon sugar blended with soft serve.

And I will say, I don't love like cookie dough chunks and things. This is like a Snicker Doodle cookie dough. But I do love the Doodle and I do love cinnamon. And so this is like an aggressively cinnamon-y like a treat that was just I mean, I thought it was great. I thought it was like here's what it was as I was as I was fucking you. Ned, Ned Flanders, out of Nass, I do love the Doodle. I love the Doodle. Dork.

So the issue is that the Snicker Doodle Cookie Dough chunks, I didn't love the texture of. But but the overall flavor tasted like really, really good cinnamon toast crunch cereal milk. It just had that like that exact flavor. And then the soft serve, I just think just has a terrific texture to it at Dairy Queen. And so this was I mean, I thought this was great. I would get it again.

I do wish it was maybe cinnamon toast crunch pieces, cereal, instead of cookie dough chunks. But but that said, this was this was really well done. That's a great upgrade, Wags. You should you got to pitch it. You got to pitch it to DQ. I'd love I'd die to get in that room. I would I would love to I would love to have that job.

I'll submit a packet. I also got the Strawberry Watermelon Julius and, you know, I normally go Orange Julius and I did prefer the Orange Julius to this one. Orange Julius, I got on my first visit. You think when you submit for for the DQ Ryder's room, you submit a packet of sugar? That was good. That was great. I was just laughing.

I was enjoying it. Um, I will say so this when you when you see strawberry blank flavor, a lot of times the strawberry overpowers it. This was not the case here. This had a great watermelon flavor to it. It was it was a warm day. So it was super duper refreshing. I just like the hint of strawberry just to add a little additional, you know,

sort of sort of tartness. I thought I thought it was I thought this was great. And again, the Julius texture works so well for me. It's just so, so sippable. So yeah, these were both these were both if not home runs, they were, you know, ground rule doubles. These are both very, very solid. Mitch, well, what was your experience?

Well, I took another dessert drive, a mother and son dessert drive with my mom. So this was yesterday. I was like, I gotta get these desserts before before we record tomorrow. And so we drove out and she's like, let's just do it now. My mom said, let's just do it now. Let's drive out and do it now. And, uh, and that was going to be our, we were just going to eat desserts for lunch, which is fucked up, but that's what that was our plan.

So we drove out, we drove down to Foxboro home of the New England Patriots. Uh, Cam Newton, just the same day, signed to a one year deal. And Tom Brady signed a four year deal with the Bucks. I bet y'all are really, I bet the city of Quincy is on fire. I'm excited. I liked Cam Newton. And I think that, I think that people were, were very mean to him. And, and, uh, he, he had, he had just an okay season, not a great season, but

they've come to expect greatness. And it's going to take a while and may, hey, the team might look good next year. Wigs, they might look, they might look good with the more there, but they had more people opt out this year. Cause of COVID and Cam still got something in the tank. So we'll see what happens, but, um, Brady signed for four years. He's going to be fucking close to 50 at that point. It's insane.

I think you can, is he signed a contract this conditional, right? Well, you can like break it every year. I think, I, I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. He, I mean, he probably will hang it up before that, but who, God, who knows? Um, so we were down in Foxboro, uh, uh, after leaving a cell, a celebratory Quincy that was very happy about Cam coming back and, uh,

and, uh, I told you before, Nick, I told you this on the last episode and it comes into play here is that my mom is a bit of a, a fudge snob. Um, not, not, not in a bad way, but she's just, uh, she makes, she makes her, her, her, her New England style fudge. I said this last time it's not, I just call it New England stuff. She just makes hot fudge people were wanting, but she makes a great hot fudge. And, um, so she's, she's always kind of like, she's, she's always commenting on the, uh, on the, uh, on the, the hot fudge at places.

So we, I got, we got two things. We got, uh, a DK, a DQ blizzard, uh, turtle pecan blizzard. You know, the turtle pecan pecan pecan or pecan? I say pecan pecan. I think depends on where you're from. I think it's probably a regional thing. If you're saying like pecan, sandies is pecan, but like everything else is pecan. You know, I'll say pecan, sandies pecan, pecan, sandies pecan just is pecan seems

like the kind of like the, the, the higher class version of saying it, right? Pecan and pecan sounds like a, but doesn't matter. Is there a right way to say it? Does it matter? I don't think it's regional. I think it's regional, but we should pull our listeners. We should put a Twitter poll out and see if, uh, do you say pecan? Or do you say pecan?

Or do you say none of the above? Do you have a different way of pronouncing it? Let's see what wins. Poll the listeners. Well, because they're all members of this citizens rights group. Families for America. Poll us. Oh, you poll us.

So I, so that, so let me, let me talk about this, this, uh, turtle turtle pecan or pecan, uh, cluster blizzard tree. Didn't you just say it the same way twice? Possibly. That's such a mom blizzard flavor. My, my mom loves, my mom loves church. She loves turtles. She loves, she's a huge turtle plant, but she likes dark chocolate.

She doesn't, she doesn't like milk chocolate. And this has, it has pecan pieces or pecan pieces and then chocolatey shavings. Chocolatey shavings in rich caramel blended with creamy DQ soft serve. To blizzard treat perfection. Now our worry going in is that there wasn't going to be, cause we both like chocolate. Our worry was that there was not going to be enough chocolate because this is chocolatey shavings and that proved to be correct. You do don't really, this, this has a nice taste to it.

It's very pecan forward. Uh, yes. Very pecan forward, but we, but, but the chocolate, there's just not enough chocolate in here, but it worked really well with the other thing we got, which was this Oreo, the brownie and Oreo cup affection is what we got. This Oreo and brownie cup affection, which is insanely chocolatey. It's a very chocolatey dessert. And that's cold, creamy DQ soft serve top with a triple chocolate brownie, Oreo

cookie pieces, rich chocolatey sauce in marshmallow topping. My mom's also a marshmallow fan and we were excited to have this. That was, this was really fantastic. I liked it a lot, but there was something wrong. I handed it over to my mom. She tastes this thing and she goes, it's not hot fudge. Is it? And I was like, that's exactly fucking right.

My mom, she, she knows her fucking hot fudge. Like it says in the description, chocolatey sauce. There's a chocolate sauce on it and it's not fudge. And, and, and so we had that peanut buster parfait last time. Yes. And that, and that has hot fudge on it. And that was just a better dessert just because of the hot fudge. If that, if you, but if you traded in the hot fudge on that dessert,

it would be like an A plus dessert. It would be very chocolatey, but you said fucking to your mom. I do, I do talk like that to my mom. Sometimes I, I, it's, we don't, we, we've never talked about sex at all in this household in any sort of form, but I will say in the sex connotation, I was saying, it's crazy that you use such a harsh word in front of your mother, I will say fucking sometimes or I'll say fuck. And she'll say, she'll be like, watch it.

No, she'll, she'll just say, watch my language. But, but sometimes, hey, if it's a good blizzard or a good dessert, I got to let, I got to yelp out a fuck. Well, I have to do it under her breath. She tasted and she was like, fuck, she just said it quietly. But it was a very, it was very chocolatey. If you had switched it with fudge, it would have been, it would have been perfection.

It shouldn't, they shouldn't do the chocolate sauce. They should use that fudge. They got the fudge, fucking use it. It's great. I'm surprised it's not the hot fudge. That seems like a weird, weird decision. But, but it was, it was, it kind of worked perfectly because that turtle pecan or pecan blizzard is, is very, it's very light on the chocolate.

So we, so it was kind of a nice balance between the two. And, and look, we were happy. It was, we were, we were happy or last time we went, but we were still very happy. It was, it was, it was a good outing. It was a good 40 minute drive down to this, this dairy queen. And, and, and it was, it was, it was tasting good. Mitch, at some point, did your mom hold up a spoonful that didn't have, like it was just the soft serve.

It didn't have a pecan on it. And she was like, no pecan. Was that, was that, was that written by our Reddit? No, she never said no pecan. All right. But I told you that she does, she does say no peaking now. Like she's leaning into it. She leans into it.

And she's like, nope. She's like, now she'll just say like, I'm going to the shower. No peaking. Like she just will. And I'm like, I'm fucking, I gotta get the fuck out of here. I gotta go back. Man, I've, I've, I've been staying, I've been staying here. I'm like, I'm going to, man, it's like that.

What is the movie with the boy? Like Brahms, the boy or the doll or whatever the fuck it is. I don't know what you're talking about. I just, I just feel like I'm, I, I'm starting to go insane. And I feel like a little doll in this house with my mom. It just feels like an insane situation where I'm, I'm starting to, to give into my mom's thing. And like, I feel like she's going to start dressing me up

in a tuxedo soon. But the, but the pants are shorts. I need, I need, I need to get back to LA Wags. I gotta get out of here. I think you're doing great. Hang in there. You'll be fine. Yeah.

And it's not fine. I got, I got to go back. I want the world to open. I want to party. I want to go on the road. Come get this back. So we get, we get, we get, we get a, we get a, we Carl, we got to go back.

We got to hit the road again. Yes. Yes. I'm seen up. We got to do it. Wags, when will you feel safe to go on the road again? 2021. Well, we're in 2021.

When will I feel safe to go on the road again? I probably won't. Like I probably, they're probably at no point in the future. Well, I feel safe. Will I be willing to do it? I think once me and Natalie are both vaccinated and once it feels like enough, like there's research that vaccinated people aren't going to spread it to non-vaccinated people.

There's that research though. There's that research. The Israelis. The Israelis. The Israelis. Wags. Why? Israelis.

Israelis. The Israelis. How about this? I just yell the Israelis at me. The Israelis. The Israelis. The Israelis. Wags, how about Carl and I go on tour and we have like, we set

you up as some sort of like a, we construct some sort of dummy with a, with an iPad on the top of it and put you out on stage with us. Yeah. We built a, we built a Zordon tank in the behind us and put next hand in the Zordon tank. I think the issue is if you put a dummy, some sort of dummy out there, people would know it's not me because it would have

too much charisma. Let's, uh, hey, speaking of going on the road. So I had to drive all the way out to Arcadia, California, which is about 45 minutes out of LA proper to go to this Dairy Queen. And I believe, you know, that's a little closer to your neck of the woods, Asan, but Carl, you had a little bit of a, a sojourn as well.

I did have a, I had a sojourn and a sojourn of truth. I, uh, we had to take a, we had to take a little drive. And, uh, I also was coming from Asan's studio, which is out of my way. And I wish I had known. I didn't think about this, but the traffic was pretty bad. It took almost an hour to get out there. Oh, no, no.

But who cares? It was worth it. So we hopped in the car and head out to the Jonah Varkadia mall and we, and this is, this is not against the rules. So this is in the mall, but it can ball still. Yes. Because Dairy Queens are not always, they're not commonly in malls. They're not just in food courts.

Yeah. This one just happens to be, but there's also an outside eating area. It's a little bit of a gray area. So we allowed it. Yeah. So we walk in, uh, we walk through the Macy's or the Nordstrom. Nordstrom.

Yeah. We, and we stopped and looked at some billionaire boys club track suits. And, uh, you know, we said, well, we have a goal because we're at work. So we're on company's dime. And, uh, so we keep going. We find the, uh, we, we find the Dairy Queen. There's one guy working there. It's a little tiny.

I guess it's called the grill and chill one. Right. Because they have, they have some, some food. So I got to say, I got to say that is a good grill and chill. It is, it is a, it's a fun name. I like the, I like a lot of fun. Yeah. That's a little chill.

Sounds fun. Uh, 15 minutes in the grill and chill and you hear, and you hear this sound. That's what, uh, when you take your girl to very grill and chill and have sex. And then a sign comes up, a sign comes up, says, are you still enjoying your ice cream? Yeah. So we get there and I ordered some of the chicken bites and cause they look good on the, um, but the first, first, first and foremost, uh, we get there and we go to the, to the counter and the dude is sitting there talking to his home girl.

Like we not standing here and there's a bell on the table. And I'm like, nah, I would ring this bell. You're about to interrupt a grill and chill. I was blocking the grill. And so he finally walks over and I asked for, I ordered the chicken bites and I was like, does those come with fries? And he tells me there's a fry restaurant downstairs. That's not, I didn't ask you that.

I asked you if these came with, they came with a bag of Lay's potato chips. Oh no. In their defense, the chicken bites were not half bad. Chicken bites not half bad. They, you dip them in a little ranch sauce. They would be great with them. They're not breaded the way they look. They're kind of, they might be healthy.

Wow. And I bet you they're not, I'm taking your word for it. I got an eight piece chicken bite, not breaded, but brown. And he definitely didn't have a fryer back there. I don't know how they were prepared, but not breaded. Yeah. And so, and then for dessert, I ordered a Reese's Blizzard. A Reese's Blizzard, because now I say I'm not a big chocolate guy, but I will

grind up some Reese's in some vanilla ice cream. That's my shit. That that's a very good mixture. And so I went ahead and got that. That was the one that was the most appealing to me. And, uh, you know, we walked back through Nordstroms on the way out. As I made a point to say that everybody is looking at these two big ass dudes who only came to the mall to go to Dairy Queen.

We entered and exited through a Nordstroms, like through all the most expensive shit in the mall with our bag of Dairy Queen. Yeah. All right, y'all be good now. Take care. We got what we came for. Keep your mask on. Thank you for your service.

Essential workers in here. Thank you for your service. But yes, I ordered that Blizzard and the chicken bites. And Asan, you want to talk about what you got? Yeah, I chose to forego any of the hot food elements because I knew we had to still yet try Burger King and I was planning on getting that whopper. So I just got the, uh, what, which one did I get? I got the, the, uh, cookie dough Blizzard, but then I added Oreo to it.

Um, which is why. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause I kind of had a taste for both. And I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys are been, been in Jerry's connoisseurs, but, um, been in Jerry's has a

flavor called milk and cookies and it is phenomenal. It's essentially that it's, it's like chocolate chip cookie dough, flavored ice cream, but with like Oreo kind of blended into it as well. Right. Uh, Asan, not only are we Ben and Jerry's connoisseurs, Ben and Jerry's is the other finalists in the tournament of champions. So whoever wins today will be up against Ben and Jerry's attempting to win

the most prestigious trophy in chain restaurant podcasting. The Dave Thomas cup. Now that is stiff competition. Uh, yes. Because whenever I get, uh, the, the, um, cookie dough Ben and Jerry's, I'm always like, man, once you get through all the cookie dough, there's just a lot of vanilla ice cream left. And so I was like, what if you could make that vanilla ice cream into

something better? And they did with that milk and cookies. So that's what I got at a dairy cream, dairy queen. Uh, and it was good. Uh, it was very good. I liked the, uh, the texture of it, uh, although they didn't, they didn't hand it to us upside down. I don't know if that's like a thing that they actually do.

Um, yeah, they're supposed to do that. Uh, but I, you know, whatever, I think you can, if you want to be like a, if you want to give someone some guff for not doing it, they'll give you a coupon or something, but I don't want to get anyone in trouble. It wasn't that serious. Whatever. That dude was already like, he was, he was upset at the day. Yeah.

He was mad. Right. I mean, it was gloomy outside. He was not happy. He, I mean, when he told me to go get fries downstairs, basically saying like, you can get these chicken bites and these chips and you can get these hands. Yeah, but he, uh, no, he ended up actually, I ordered a small blizzard and he ended up giving me the medium size or whatever are the, yeah.

So he was cool. Uh, I wonder, I wonder as a DQ person, if you, if it's a gloomy day outside, if you're just like, I'm not going to have to have too many customers today. Like I wonder if that's a thing in your head. So then to be surprised by even just getting a couple of customers, maybe that was a, maybe that was a thing that he didn't expect. You think he wakes up every morning and watches the, the weather report to see. He was like, hell, yeah, it's going to be a light day.

Oh, here come these two football playing motherfuckers on a fucking rainy day. Ordering blizzards. This big, this big salmon jacket wearing motherfuckers. Well, you know, you too tall to be wearing salmon. You too big, you big motherfuckers, you're going to cut orders. Why did I decided to work in a DQ in Southern California where there's hardly ever any rain? And on the day, on the day we get rain, here come these two big motherfuckers

buying out the house. I got to pull out shit. I ain't used, man, don't nobody eat these fucking chicken bites. They ain't got no skin yet. They still brown. You big fat motherfucker. I thought Rick Ross looking. I thought I was just going to be able to chill with my girl today.

Yeah. Grill and chill. Grill and chill. I'll be able to grill and chill. You big fat. But he. Oh, also, we got an orange. Julius, I got the pineapple passion.

Orange. Now, here's, here's, we haven't told you about the taste of these things, right? Because I wanted to set the scene. So we both took our bags and walked out of the Nordstrom and said our goodbyes and thanked everybody for working during the pandemic and went and got back in my car and sat and we ate chicken bites, tasty, not have bad at all. Dug them would have been great with some buffalo to go with that ranch. Now to the dessert part.

I I only got one Julius and got an extra cup, which is another thing that made that guy roll his eyes, but we we split the Julius and I started to drink a little bit of the Julius. Now, I saw when he was making a Julius, I'm like, this there isn't. There is nothing that's not sugar about this damn thing. Right. Like there, this is all served every element of this is served. Like he even he like he looked like he pour water in it and the water was thick.

I'm like, is this like, do they use that water that you have to get when you like can't hold down liquids like the thick water from CVS? Mitch, Mitch, did you see Balan's chugs chugged that thick? Oh God, but he chugged the thick water. Yeah, yeah. Bad that bad lands is onto his onto. He's onto thick water. What the hell is he doing?

I'll send you the link after we get done here. I would love to see it. He kind of revealed some of his secrets, which is that he does some like circular breathing as he's chugging, like he's able to somehow respirate. Why is he revealing those secrets for free? He's through Badlands school for a master class. Badlands master class. And there's a Badlands master class.

I would for real sign up for just to watch what happens in there. Oh, me too. Dust boot. So, but the Julius and I'm a big, I'm a big sugar guy. My last name may be tart, but I'm sweet. And I, I couldn't take it. Wow. I was like, this, this Julius is wild.

It needs to be cut with like some lemon juice or something. It was so, there was nothing about it that was fresh fruit or anything like that. And I've never had an orange Julius. I've never had one. That was the first time. Oh, no. And so it was, I drank a few sips of it. And I was like, if we're going to be doing all these desserts today, I think

we better cut our losses instead of our feet off and toss this. So I'm not going to say that it was bad. But if I had a drink that whole thing, yeah, it wouldn't have been good. It wouldn't have been good. So I stopped, I took a few sips of it. Assign, what'd you think about the Julius? Yeah, I never had an orange Julius before either. So I didn't really know what to expect.

I didn't know what they were. I was almost expecting it to be like a, a, like a smoothie, like a juice it up type smoothie or something like that. But it was just like frothy syrup. It was, it was super sweet. And I was drinking, I was taking sips of it as I was eating the ice cream. And usually when you're eating something sweet like ice cream, it like kind of dilutes the sweetness of whatever else you're going to drink.

Like if you have a soda while you're drinking ice cream, the soda doesn't taste as sweet. The Julius was just as sweet as I imagined, like I imagined it would be while I was eating the ice cream. So, I mean, there was a ton of sugar in it. So yeah, I don't know. The Julius was the same color as my tracksuit. So that was a flex as I was walking out of the mall.

Carl said he told everybody they could live like this too, if they work hard. The rap bar drinking juice is the same color as my tracksuit. Wow. Mac, Carl, you just, you gave me a vision in my head of us doing dough boys on tour in 2023 and just coming out on stubs with no feet. Looking like gingerbread man. Gingerbread man. Wiger, Wiger always has a kind of a gingerbread man smile going on.

Anyways, he has that kind of like big, like that, there it is. That big smile. Big, toothy grin. Yeah. Nothing really behind it. You're like, why is this guy smiling when you're smiling? You don't understand it. Well, was there any other food from Dairy Queen?

Was that the full, the full rundown? Yeah. I mean, there was some Lay's potato chips, but who cares about it? And, oh, I will say, I didn't, I don't know if I went deep into my blizzard, but you know, as I say, I don't like thick ice cream. And so by the time we got back to my car and got in and turned on the heat, it was a gloomy day. And we, it was a melted a little bit.

And the ratio of chunks of Reese's in it was fantastic. There were shavings all the way through it. And then there were, you would get like a nice big piece. And when it sits in that ice cream, it gets hard because it freezes over. And man, fantastic. A plus. Wow. Wow.

Well, I think I know which way this is headed, but we should get to our final thoughts on this edition of Munch Madness 2021. So we are going to rate each of these chains in four categories. The categories are taste, travel, tummy, and the one that got away. Taste, travel and tummy will rate out of 10. And the one that got away, we will just going to pick one chain or the other that we were still thinking about later. Good or bad.

I'll go first for taste, Mitch. What are we, what are we writing it out of, Wags? Oh, do we make it a, do we have a decision on that? I think we did. And then we forgot to say it. We've changed it, I think every, every time. Yeah. Wait, what, didn't we say it was it ref whistles?

What was it? Oh, maybe it was ref whistles. Let's just say ref whistles. Jesus. All right, fine. We'll do ref whistles. Just coast to the finish line here. All right.

I'm going to say, we're going to get in a victory formation and rate this in four categories. Yeah. Ref whistles, but the rope is a salmon color, just like Carl's suit. Great. Perfect. So after out of salmon rope colored, salmon colored rope ref whistles, I'm going to give taste for BK. I'm going to give it, I'm going to go six out of 10.

And for Dairy Queen, I'm going to go nine out of 10. Mitch. Um, well, I mean, look, we can't, we can't judge the whopper. This is taste, right? Yeah. I'm going to say this, if the whopper was in the tournament, the whopper would win it all. I agree with you. Yes.

I think I would vote whopper over any dessert is maybe what I've found out is that anything we've had this entire month, I mean, I think absent maybe a couple of things, but like as far as like in general, like, because I, because I can eat not, I can eat a whopper most days. I don't think I can eat one every single day, but I get one most days, but I'd rather have a whopper than any of these sweet treats, at least on a regular basis. Yeah. Well, I'm going to go for taste for Dairy Queen.

I'm going to go, it was nearly a 10. I'm going to go nine. Wow. And for, and for BK, I'm going to go, uh, you know what, that shake was really good. I liked the Hershey's pie, but I'm going to go probably, I'm going to go eight. They get, they get an eight. Both good scores. A son out of 10 tastes for each of these chains.

All right. For BK, for taste, I'm going to give it a two. Wow. Yeah. It was just not in, and I'm not, I'm not casting that over all BKs. Let's just, let's just assume that it was this BK, but everything was very, very so par. So I'll do that.

I'll give it a two. For Dairy Queen though, I'll give for taste. I'll give an eight. I think the, the Dairy Queen, uh, it delivered. Uh, the only reason I don't give it a 10 is because I got that orange Julius, which I did not enjoy, so I'll take a couple of points away for that. But, uh, in terms of that, uh, the blizzard, it was really good. So I'll give it an eight.

Wow. Uh, Carl, your taste rankings for BK and DQ. I'm going to go a little bit higher for the BK. I'm going to give it a four, but still very low, still under 500. I, uh, I just, the milkshake, the vanilla milkshake saved it. They saved the day. The vanilla milkshake and the DDP saved the day. That Hershey's Pie was trizzy.

Uh, and the Whopper subpar, like, damn, it was, it was just, I was very upset by the fact, cause I still like BK. I'll still go to a Berger, a Berger King. And this one was just, I've eaten at that one and it was better. Like, I don't know what it was that day. Maybe it was rain outside, but yeah. Which, which BK were you guys at? Pasadena.

Over here in Pasadena. Fair Oaks, Fair Oaks in California. Yeah. By Huntington Hospital. I had no context for that one. It feels like a Pasadena BK should be, it should be better than that. It doesn't. Yeah.

This one is like a, like a, it's right across the street from a hospital and it feels like it's newer and it's mainly like, it gets a lot of, even in not COVID times, it seems like it just gets a lot of drive through traffic. It doesn't seem like a, like a real, you know, landmark. Oh, this is our neighborhood Berger King. You know, it's just kind of like, like thrown up. I wonder if there's any relation to, like the, you know, the, the, the, the, you know, depending on the area, if it's, if it's kind of a, a, you know, upper class

area, if the BKs are better, which is also kind of fucked up element to it. Why, I think it might be the opposite. I think, I think, I think fast food is better in the hood because in, in fancy neighborhoods, they, you know, people don't eat fast food. So they're like, the Burger King doesn't have to be good. No one's coming here. But in the, in the bad neighborhoods, in the black and Latino neighborhood, let me see, let me tell you how the white man's king does in the bad, in the bad

neighborhoods, the food is so delicious because they want to keep you coming back. They want to keep you unhealthy. Y'all not hearing me. Y'all not understanding. Y'all not listening. Wow. Overstand me. Overstand me.

Okay. I overstand it. I, I, I, uh, it's funny cause, cause there's Milton is next door to Quincy and it's kind of the, it's the, it's like the, the, the nicer town and they don't have any like liquor stores and like also like there, there's no like Burger Kings like that and Milton or whatever. And so they'll come over to Quincy to get their fucking booze and their Burger King and it's in, and so they'll, these fucking snooty people are driving around

wags, they, they come over to this, the shittier city to pick up their shit and get out of there. It's fucked up. They come by and say, hmm, it looks like everybody here is upset about Cameron Newton. We don't, we don't watch football and Milton. We'll watch the opera. Carl, did you hear DQ score?

I'm sorry. I didn't give a DQ score yet. We haven't, have we given DQ? Oh, no, no, no, we're doing both. Oh yeah. Um, a DQ, I'm going to go get, um, I'm going to give it a 8.5 out of 10. Wow.

The blizzard and the chicken bites, uh, brown, no bread. Very good. Blizzard, you can't go wrong with Reese's Grounded up in some vanilla ice cream. Uh, but the orange Julius, if I was, if I was 16, I would fuck up an orange Julius. But at 32, it is just, I'm too old to be drinking something that damn sweet. Yeah. That don't have like the water was thick. What was that?

I still don't know what that water was. I'm guessing it was simple syrup, which is, it probably doesn't need additional sugar. It was all sugar. And then he put some powder in there. I'm like, what is that? It was too sweet. It was too much. And they don't have the calories up for that.

They have calories up for everything else. They ain't got the calories up for that because I bet it's a billion. I, well, I, I'm just happy that I know how to order my chicken bites. So when I go to DQ, brown, no bread. That's what I'm going to say when I go to DQ. Have y'all, have y'all had a Dole Whip? Yes. Oh, yeah.

One. Love Dole Whip. Yeah. Is that, is that, is that what an orange Julius is supposed to be like? Or no, not at all. The orange Julius is, it is supposed to be a very thin, uh, I mean, it is, it is just like a thin sugar drink. But also a treat, like an orange, like the orange Julius, the one that's is the

orange Julius itself when I was younger, they didn't have, they didn't have the, like a bunch of different options when I was a kid. It was just orange for a time. Yeah. It was just orange. And that was like a, like just a creamy orangey drink, which I loved. And it probably, I, I haven't had one in, in God, in 30 years. I got, I got to go when I go back to LA.

What does a Dole Whip taste like? Pineapple. A Dole Whip, a Dole Whip is, Dole Whip's a very sweet because it's also in pineapple juice. It's like a, it's like a, a hunk of ice cream, a hunk of, uh, pineapple ice cream in pineapple juice. Okay. Okay.

Now let me ask you this. That's a Dole Whip float. I'm sorry. Dole Whip is just ice cream itself. Nick and maybe a song because with some ghetto boys, raising the ghetto streets. Did you, when you would go to like Tom's burger or something like that, Nick, did you ever get orange bang? Uh, that would be more of a thing.

I'd get like at a taqueria, but I, yeah, I love orange bang. I'll still get orange bang. But yeah, like, like Tommy's will, uh, yeah. Tommy's or all the Tommy's variants will usually have that as well. Yeah. It, orange bang is actually probably pretty close to orange Julius. Okay. Okay.

So that's what it's supposed to taste like. Okay. Yeah. So if you get just the straight up orange one, I think it's not quite as punishingly sweet. I mean, certainly my strawberry watermelon Julius was sweeter than the orange Julius I had on a previous visit, but the orange Julius, what, it has a little more tang to it.

I can't believe Nick Weigert grew up in the ghetto. That's, that just doesn't compute for me. He's a ghetto boy. People, people did have to, they did have to watch themselves to not get bit by Nick. So I guess everyone's growing up wrong with Nick. I'm not some sort of vampire or Dracula. It sounds like you're a fucking Dracula.

I'm not a Dracula. Uh, to clarify, I grew up in, I grew up in the suburbs, Lakewood, California, but yeah, I could, I got banged on at the Lakewood Mall. What'd you talk about? I used to go to the Lakewood Mall all the time. Great hang. Let's talk about travel. Uh, so travel for me, the BK, I mean, it was a short hop for each of these

because the BK I just picked up and I, and I took home, I'd normally just eat it in my parked car as well, but I was like, I want to get a little bit of a travel score. So I'll see how this travels back to my homestead. Uh, and it was, it was fine. You know, the, the, the, the soft serve maybe got a little melty, but I think it was okay. I'll give this a seven out of 10.

And for, for a DQ, I mean, it was just a long walk from the food court to the outside dining area and the, that traveled pretty well as well. So I'll, I'll give that a seven, also seven. Mitch, what do you think? Well, travel is, it's tricky cause the same thing. I went to DQ that was in Foxboro. So like, you know, it was whatever, 30 minute drive. I said 40 before, probably closer, closer to just 30 minutes.

And, um, I, we ate it in the car there, but we did, we bought a family friend, Kathy Wood. Uh, we bought her a small blizzard. She said that she loved the Reese's blizzard, Carl. Okay. What's up, Kathy? Like she, Kathy, Kathy's great. She, my, my mom was like, let's get the Ori, my, and so we got up there.

My mom was like, let's get the mint Oreo blizzard for her. And we ordered it. And then I was like, didn't she say she liked the Reese's and she's like, oh, she did. And I was like, why did we get this fucking Oreo blizzard turned to a little bit of a fight? Uh, we made up. She dressed me into a little tuxedo with short pants and we're all good.

Um, and we, we, that traveled with us from Foxboro all the way back. And then we sat in traffic because there was an accident. And by the way, we're going to get to tummy soon, but that car ride, I was, I was white knuckled because I had, I had to go. It was, uh, it was a bad, it was bad. It was, it was, uh, we used to do a thing called quickest to two wise, if you remember, and this was a, this was a situation where I ate these, I ate the DQ and it was, it was, it was quick.

Um, and it was, it was fast acting, but hers, hers traveled back. It was melty, but we put it in the freezer and she reviewed it today and she said it was pretty good. So she and so, so the travel factor, even being 30 minutes away or so was, was still okay. I like, but I mean, it's just not going to, it's, it's, it's not going to last DQ, you know, the DQs are more spread out than, than burger kings and my burger king is right down the street.

So that travel was great. That gets, you know, that gets like a nine for travel and then DQ gets like, you know, a three. It was there any sort of passive aggressive side to Kathy Woods reaction where she was like, it was good. You know, I like the, I really like that Reese's one, but this one was good. I mean, if my mom fucked up bad, she told her her favorite blizzard and we got her mint Oreo one.

Oh, oh, you brought, you brought the one that I didn't ask for. Okay. Well, thanks. Thank you. Thank you for thinking about me. Oh, this will be something new. I'll try. Oh, I did.

Here's this. I did present to her in wearing that tuxedo on a little silver platter. So that might have added some points to it. Yeah. Um, but I think that. I think that it's just hard to judge DQ because like we were saying before, you're sucking on, you're sucking on chili chili dogs outside the tasty freezer outside these places, usually eating them.

So, so you can't really judge melting factor into it. You know what I mean? But I will say even, even that being said, they are better than Ben and Jerry's. I'm going to go a little higher actually. I'll give it a five because Wow, because even, even if you get that Oreo Sunday or whatever, there is like a cup on top of it. And they give you the long spoons. So it does stay intact longer.

Yes. So, yeah. All right. Let's, uh, son, let's move on to you. The travel score. Travel. Okay. Uh, for Burger King, we, we ate right there in the car.

So there wasn't really a good way to measure that. But however, I will give Burger King, uh, a tin on the travel just for the hot food portion, because most fast fast food places in my experience travels pretty well when you go and get it yourself for the drive through. Um, so I'll give it a 10 show. Burger King, some love to show I'm still committing. I'm still like, I'm still a King head. Um, a King King King, uh, DQ, I'm going to rate this a little lower because my,

just from the walk from inside the mall to back to Carl's car, uh, it was very melty and it was, uh, he packed my, uh, uh, Blizzard two full. And so like the cat, it was like leaking under the cap and it was, you know, I was trying not to make a mess in Carl's car. Soaking wet and she leaking. Like a soft shaker. Um, so I'm going to give Derek, Derek, we have four for the travel component. Cause it was, yeah, it was, it was messy.

It was a lot to handle. Carl, uh, I'm a give the chicken bites was still, was still biting. They was bought and when I got them to the car, uh, that was fine. Um, they weren't like extremely hot, but that was fine. Like I don't care. Uh, my Blizzard was how I like it. Like lucky for you, that's what I like. It's a little bit melty.

And so, and it wasn't packed too high. Uh, and I, I enjoyed that. I, I'm going to give that a seven for travel, a seven, uh, eight. I'm going to give it eight for travel. Burger King, I'm not, I'm, I'm a King King, but I definitely do. Did not enjoy, like the burger was not hot. The, uh, the fries were okay. Where did the fries were okay?

Uh, but the burger was definitely not hot. It felt like they had it sitting around, which is crazy because Assan had to, you know, order a specialty deconstructed. Yeah. But the burgers wasn't hot and that pie was, was garbage. And we didn't go that far. We, we, we drove through the drive-thru and then drove down the street and, uh, got into the ACE hardware park a lot.

We saw, uh, offer up transaction. Uh, and that, that was cool. Uh, just to see the offer of transaction. So I'm going to give that a six. All right. What's an, what's an offer up transaction? Somebody bought something off of offer up or Craigslist or something. And they met up in the parking lot to exchange it.

That's how I almost got my PS five likes. P with PS four, wait, PS five, PS five, it is a PS five, right? You were going to buy one from someone in a parking lot that you can get. Yeah. If you offer up that you can, you could, they'll like, you'll meet them somewhere and you can just get the, it has to be a parking lot on offer up. Does it really complete? No, I'm just kidding.

That's something that we must meet in some parking lot somewhere. Just learning about this platform. All right. Let's move on to tummy, uh, real quick. I would say that BK, because I had a, I had something savory. It was a little less punishing to my body. So I'll give that one a five, uh, Dairy Queen. I mean, it's just tough.

It's just so much, so much dairy and so much sugar. So, I think this was more of a, this was like a, this was like a one. It was pretty, it was, it was close to also close to emergency level. Uh, Mitch, how about you? Uh, my mom and I both had to use the restroom as we were coming back. And then there was an accident on the highway. Oh, and I was white knuckle tonight. My mom did one of those things where we were walking to the house

and she stopped and she's like, I don't know if I'm going to make it. I'm like, we're here. Just go in. You're going to make it. We're here. But I, my stomach wags, it was, it was from when I ate the Sunday till, till when I was, when I was, until I was serving soft serve myself was about, uh, 45 minutes.

So that's funny from, from going into coming out about 45 minutes. It was, it was, uh, it was very quick. So the DQ tell me troubles. I'm going to go for, it wasn't like a mice, I felt sick, but, but it was quick. It was quick. So I'm going to go about, I'll give it a two and a half. And then, uh, and then, uh, for, for BK, you know, I, I ate it about an hour ago. So I don't know.

We'll see you later tonight. But I'm going to, I'm going to guess like a five or six. I'm going to say 5.5 is probably what I usually feel like with Burger King. Generally speaking, I feel like this is not the most food we've had to eat, but probably for a tournament, Mitch, but this is probably the worst. Like, as far as a case of the rumblies goes, like, just, I feel like we're getting rumblies every week with this. Unfortunately, the heart, the heart of a champion might go to the, I said this,

but it might go to the toilets, the toilets of the world. Assign your tummy score. Uh, for BK, I'm going to give it, uh, a five, uh, just because, uh, it was just not the best BK going down. So my tummy didn't appreciate it. Um, DQ, I'm going to actually, uh, give this a 10 because normally, uh, I can be, my stomach can be very sensitive to dairy stuff. Um, but for some reason with Dairy Queen, I, it didn't trigger any rumblies.

None of that. Like I, it's like, I didn't even eat ice cream, which is crazy because normally when I have like Ben and Jerry's or something like that, it goes down later. Uh, but yeah, so Dairy Queen did mess me up at all. So I'm going to give that a 10. Wow. Wow. Carl, we ate these things so close together.

And now that was my only meal of the day yesterday. Uh, and so I'm going to go ahead and give them both a five, but because I just not the, I, they got me pretty, they got me in my ACON bag low key. I'm pretty locked up at this point. I'm going to have to get off this podcast and go, uh, you know, take a, some sea moss and some apple cider vinegar and some water with lemon and, uh, get things moving. Yeah.

Oh, wow. I just realized, as you guys are saying this, I haven't gone to the bathroom yet. Yeah. Oh boy. That's rough. Well, that's an issue with this podcast. That can happen to you. Um, yeah.

You kind of get that spackle in the bowels. It's just, yeah, I, I tried, I tried to have like a, like a, just a banana at some point during that day, just something to kind of mitigate the damage. How much, how much you think in, we just did our taxes, how much do you think we wrote off and like, uh, duke a lax this last year? Duke a lax final category, the one that got away, the one you were thinking about later for me, it was just DQ. It was just like, I wish the DQ and the Fox Hills mall, which is pretty close

to where I'm living these days, uh, will, I hope that reopens post quarantine so I can visit their treat center, uh, Mitch. Same thing. Why is it, I'll say this, I was still thinking about the last DQ, the peanut buster parfait and, and I, and like, I'm like, Oh, that, the one that got away is the, even the visit before I want that again, but clearly DQ, um, Burger King's Burger King's ran is about to end. Why?

Cause I feel like a son. Yeah. I'm going to go DQ on, uh, the one that got away. I'm still thinking about the, uh, the combination of the, the two cookie flavors was really good. Wow. And Carl, uh, to make room for everything, I didn't finish anything. And so I just ate like half of everything that we ordered, except the chicken bites.

I did finish the chicken bites, uh, but I am upset that I didn't finish the blizzard. So I'm going to go DQ. Wow. Wow. Well, I think we know where this is headed, but, uh, for the sake of formality, we will count down from three and say in unison, which bite are we giving to the centabytes to convert them to Catholicism, which chain will advance to take on Ben and Jerry's and the winner of the shipping chews in the choppy and shit.

Why is which bite will go to famous centabytes? Nosferatu. Nosferatu is a Senabyte. I've, I've done some research on Senabytes. Nosferatu is a Senabyte in the, the, the, I guess they retconned it in the comics that Nosferatu is a Senabyte. He's a Hellraiser Dracula is a Hellraiser breaking chews Dracula is a Hellraiser. And guess what you want to, you want to know some other Senabytes?

Please. Lawn Cheney, the actor Lawn Cheney is a Senabyte. Incredible. And Jack the Ripper also a Senabyte. This is all true. Wow. Who, who, which, which, which treat will turn, turn them into, uh, change them into Catholics basically, right?

Is that what the stupid shit we're doing? All right. Yeah. Lawn Cheney, the man of a thousand faces. That's, and that's what his, his, the Senabyte face. He uses a butt. He rips people's faces off as a Senabyte. Lawn Cheney is a Senabyte.

I'm amazed the, the estate of Lawn Cheney allowed this to happen. Um, but let's, uh, let's count down from three and say in unison, which chain we thought one, which Royal comes out on top in three, two, one. Dairy Queen, Dairy Queen. Wow. It is unanimous. Dairy Queen will compete in the live munch madness finale streaming on Tuesday, March 23rd at eight PM Eastern with special guest, Nicole Byer and Betsy

Siddharo tickets at head gum.com slash live. What an outcome. Like a chessboard, the Queen is more powerful than the King when it comes to this competition. And Wigs, BK watchers, you know what? BK is back in the shithole for that tweet. You fucked up BK. Wow.

You fucked up big time. For now, the Queen has a throne. The Queen has a throne. Yeah. That was a gnarly tweet. Very, very, very ill thought out. Women belong in the chicken bites. Hey, that was this week's munch madness.

It's time for a segment. You know, we tried a segment last week and it didn't go exactly to plan. So we are going to do take two. Wow. Mitch, you know me as the burger boy, Nick Weiger, but you may not know my full legal name is Nicholas Frank Weiger. And sometimes I go by Frank. It's time to review the Weekend Hot Dog News in another edition of Let Me Be Frank.

Hot Dog, summer in the city, great on my grill, getting greasy and pretty, toast fun, don't it look pretty, sucking on a dog like you're sucking on a titty, fucking beef, sausages and long bread, woman on a roller grill, mustard and relish. One bite, it's a different world, swap dog bites with a girl, munch on, munch on and chomp all night. Despite the farts, it'll be all right, that taste. When the casein has snapped later that day, you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city, like you're sucking on a titty.

Okay, so Mitch, you're going to Google Hot Dogs and let us know what's going on in the news department. While you're doing that, Carl and Asan, Asan in particular, hold on a second. Yes, first of all, that was, was that your longest parody song and second of all? Sucking on a hot dog is like sucking on a titty? I was looking for a rhyme with city. I'd already used gritty and pretty. So, Asan, I heard on your guys podcast that you sometimes think an ideal hot dog has no

toppings, nothing on it. Wow. I do think that's a good idea. I think there is a time and place where you do all the toppings and I think that's when you get like a street dog and you want the peppers and the onions and the mayonnaise and the mustard and the ketchup when, but I think sometimes a hot dog, like when made at home or like a hot dog from like a, even not like a ball game or something like that. If it's a good quality, it's a good quality, it's a good quality, it's a good quality,

it's a good game or something like that. If it's a good quality kosher dog with a good quality bun, all you really need is that, maybe just a hint of mustard. If you kind of want that tang to it, but I think a good hot dog can be perfectly enjoyed just the, the dog and the bun. A kosher dog? I love it. Yeah.

The Israelis. All right, Mitch, what's going on in hot dog news? All right. Well, I'm, I'm Googling hot dogs right now and seeing what comes up for, for news. First off, right here on the top, MS now says every US state's best hot dog, every US state's best hot dog joint, and this is by Love Food, I guess. But so here's a list of every hot dog, every state's best. Alabama up first, Wacked Out Wiener on Gulf, in Gulf Shores. Love Gulf Shores.

I don't know if you know of Wacked Out Wiener. But let me see what California, California has worst coots swags. Oh, yes. That's a, that's a, like more of a fancy sausage place. Carl, are you familiar with going to be in from Mississippi? Are you familiar with that chain? Gulf Shores. I am familiar with Gulf Shores, Alabama. I never been to that chain, a hot dog place.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Worst coots. They talk about how pinks is like kind of the, the famous one. But I don't love pinks. Pink sucks. I'm going to be, I'm going to keep it 100%. I've eaten at pinks one time in my California life. I've been here 22 years.

And the only time- Carl's California life. I've been here, I've been here 22 years. I've eaten at pinks one time and that was all I needed. It was 2005, my high school, L.A. Hamilton had just B. Westchester in football and my offensive line coach took us to pinks, like took the offensive line to pinks, because our running back had like 215 yards.

And so he was like, you guys should be celebrated too. And I was like, well, can I go? Because I'm a tight end. I'm an offensive line receiver hybrid. And he was like, yeah. He said, I understand how football works. Yeah, I don't know if you do this, but see my position, my position is an eligible receiver,

but I also do block quite a bit. And he was like, yes, you can come. And we went to pinks and I got a chili cheese dog. And there was so much grease on the top, you could have poured it off. Like, you ever see people when they dap grease with napkins? I always look at those people like, let me just eat some fucking shit.

But that day, I was like, I need to dap this shit. This is crazy how much grease is on this thing. And that was the last time I went- I think some guy was walking by saying, just eat that shit. He saw you doing that. Just eat that shit. And what are you-

Are you an offensive lineman or are you a receiver? Yeah, what do you do? You can't be both. A sod of you had pinks? I had pinks. I had it like one time, a long time ago. And I don't remember it being stellar, but I'm not bougie when it comes to chili dogs.

Like, I like good chili dogs, but I will fuck up some weenishness on a heartbeat. Oh, hell yeah. I think the hat is also very good for chili. The hat is great. The hat is great. We reviewed the hat when we were down in O.C. Yeah, Weiner Schnitzel is-

So I stopped eating meat this year. Weiner Schnitzel is one of the last places I went at the end of last year and just got like chili cheese dogs, chili cheese fries. It was heaven. Yeah, that sounds good. Even though it's complete garbage.

It's so good. You can just- And that's what I'm saying. That's why the take to me, I let a lot of things slide in life. But the take to me that hot dogs are better when there's nothing on them? What type of shit that's crazy?

I didn't say that we're better. I didn't say that we're better. I'm saying sometimes you can enjoy a hot dog with just the bun and the meat. It's dry. How do you choke that down? I don't care how I'm doing that. I'm like, you know,

Dodger dogs are some of the best hot dogs on the planet. I've had plenty. You can't- Even on the- Even the end that I don't put sauce on, I'm just like, I can't wait to get through this and get to these toppings. Get to this mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, relish,

jalapeno pepper. You suffered through the first bite? Yeah. I gotta say, I'm kind of with you. I've eaten a plain dog before and it can just be kind of tasty. Carl, you know what it was for me is that after football games,

and I was terrible and I wouldn't play, so I basically was just waiting to get the hot dogs after the game. They would give everyone a hot dog and they were just wrapped usually and they were just plain, and I just eat it plain. And it can be damn good.

It's just a little meat sandwich. It can be pretty good. See, I think where this started for me is in like earlier in- Young in high school, like freshman and sophomore, I worked at a baseball stadium out in San Bernardino for like one of the AAA teams or whatever. And I worked at a stand that sold smoothies,

but also you could buy hot dogs there. But I would have to run next door and grab it. It was really inefficient in that way. But the way they would keep the hot dogs stored is they would make the dogs and put them in the bun and they'd wrap them in foil and put them in like a little steam drawer to stay warm.

And so when you have a hot dog that's prepared that way and you open up the foil and it's still steaming, it's kind of like moist a little bit, like that's fire. I'm all about that, but I just need at least some ketchup. I'm all about the steamed bun and like the real soft, like I'm all about that.

But I just need some ketchup. I need some ketchup. I don't blame you on it, but plain is, I mean, I'm also eating probably more than one if I'm having a plain one. Oh yeah, if it's plain, I'm knocking back at least two or three.

For sure. And then you choked to death. Misha, we're going way along here. Let's get one more hot dog. I was just going to say the Massachusetts place that was ranked as Casey's Diner Natick started in 1922 Whigs, the Nick Wieger of Hot Dog Jains,

and then we got Mississippi. I'm two years older than you. Mississippi is small time hot dogs in Winona. That's far away from me. I don't, I've never eaten there. All right, too far. All right, the next hot dog news. All right, Whigs, we'll say,

I'm going to say that Canagra, I guess is the name of it, is Intoxicell Hebrew National Hot Dog brand. They're Intoxicell. It's one of the biggest hot dog brands that there is this Hebrew national. Are you a Hebrew national fan, Whigs? Yeah, I mean, I used to get those at,

buy them in bulk at Costco. And then they started having the Kirkland Signature sausages, which are like the Kirkland Signature hot dogs, which are a little bit more cost efficient, I think just as good. So I go that direction, buy like a Hebrew national. In Las Vegas, this hot dog cart

is one of the few things that's sacred. That's what it says. Carl, you're going to hit up Vegas as soon as you got the second dose and you're good to go, right? Yeah. Are you going to do a Vegas trip? Well, there's a Vegas staple of a hot dog stand there,

which is the only thing that's sacred in Las Vegas. The first hot dog brand the cart sold was Hebrew national Whigs, connecting the two stories here. Wow. But as legend goes, there was a taste test involving two guys with the same initials, Vegas bookmaker, Jimmy Vaccaro,

and North Carolina State basketball coach, Jim Valvano. Oh God, Valvano. Jimmy V. Jimmy V. Yeah, Jimmy V. After a four to one vote, a new brand landed in the steamer,

Chicago style Vienna beef. So this is a hot dog stand. You got to hit up Carl when you're over there, but I'm going to bring it back for this last story. I'm just going to talk about Pink's hot dog. They abused Tom LaBonge, Mr. Los Angeles hot dog, Whigs. Do you know who Tom LaBonge is? Mr. Los Angeles.

No. No. Why the fuck is he called Mr. Los Angeles? Tom LaBonge. I never heard of him. But Jimmy Vaccaro is Sonny Vaccaro's brother. Sonny Vaccaro's a dude that brought Michael Jordan to Nike. Oh, is that true?

Yeah. Oh, wow. Tom LaBonge was a long time LA city council member. Oh, all right. So there you go. So we're honoring him with a Pink's hot dog. He passed away in just January of this year. So very recently.

So yeah, this is commemorating him with a Pink's hot dog, I guess, because they didn't have time to actually physically go and urinate on his grave, which would be a little more respectful. Why is that going to say this? Yeah. Pink's is celebrating the life of Tom LaBonge at new by debuting the Tom LaBonge, Mr. Los Angeles hot dog. They're donating 100% of the proceeds of sale for three days

to the Tom LaBonge Griffith Park Memorial Fund. So it seems like it's a nice. It's a good cause. And then it does weirdly say after this, once those three days have ended, we will go piss on his grave. It's not telling me what it doesn't tell me what the dog the dog flavor is, though, which is very annoying. Maybe they haven't figured it out yet.

The one I'm seeing is just three hot dog, three very long, I guess, Dodger dog style in short buns with spelled in mustard. Pink's loves Tom LaBonge. Maybe that is what I that's where I see to that is Carl was not lying there. That is the truth. Maybe that is what it is. What a half ass execution. But there you go.

That was let me be frank. Just like a restaurant by your feedback. Let's open the feedback today. We have an email from Wendy from Vermont. I live about 20 minutes from the Ben and Jerry's factory in Vermont and can attest to the absolute perfection of the Ben and Jerry's ice cream cake. Please order one for the Pine Noon Tournament of Chompians. I would argue it's the best food to come out of Vermont.

What do you consider the best food from your state? Wow. I love this question. Mitch, you grew up in Massachusetts. I know you have some very strong opinions about the East Coast food. This is obviously hard because is it the thing that your state is known for? And I know that they get mad at us for not understanding questions too. By the way, I've had a Ben and Jerry's ice cream cake for my birthday.

You know that this last year I had a Ben and Jerry's ice cream cake for my birthday? Yes. The best thing to come out of my state, man, if Brigham's was still around, I still, I would love to say Brigham's. But I mean, like people say it's like clam chowder. You know what I mean? Like that's what everyone says about New England is like clam chowder. But the things that I find here still, of course, I love East Coast Chinese food.

And for me, it's got to be pizzeria or Regina, I guess is the answer. I think pizzeria or Regina is the best food that we have in New England, the North End pizzeria or Regina. But I don't know, seafood or like, but there's also things like fraps like, like I get a mocha frappe here, raspberry lime, Ricky. And then like fried clams. There's like a bunch of seafood and stuff like that. But I'm going to go, I'm going to go Regina, pizzeria or Regina in the North End,

which you have had. Yes. You have, you have, you have had the Regina in the North End. It's good. Yeah. Asan, a fellow, a fellow lifelong Southern Californian. Do you have a preference in terms of favorite California eat? Oh man.

Roscoe's is up there for me. Great choice. So much of a better choice already. Great. I was going to say, you know, I hate to be cliche and say in and out, but I think in and out is an acceptable answer for the reason that like, it is honestly the best value burger you're going to get. If you want to spend $5, like it brought new sort of heights to like the value cheese burger.

So in and out is definitely up there. Yeah. Those are my two, I think. I think those are, those are great answers. And I think that this might be a thing in California where it's, there's a different answer if you're from SoCal or from NorCal. But I would say that what comes to mind is, I mean, like honestly, I would, I think tacos are the big thing.

I think I feel just like tacos in California. Again, I mean, all the food in California is going to come from someplace else. That's just America. What about burritos? Are burritos, I feel like burritos could be invented in California. That's what I was going to say. I think that might be the North South divide. I think if you're in the Bay Area, you might say burritos.

If you're in Southern California, you might say, you might say tacos. Yeah. Was the breakfast taco invented here? Either here or Texas, I'm not sure. I mean, honestly, it was probably in Mexico, but our version of it. Yeah. Or the breakfast burrito was probably invented here, right? It sounds like it.

Yeah. See now, this is the confusing thing about this question. I mean, McDonald's was created in California. Was it not wise? That's true. Yes, it was. But are you going to say burgers or taco? Are you going to say a food that was created there?

Because there's plenty of food in New England that was created in New England. But you were talking about, you're saying, are you saying how specific are you going to get? Yeah. Because I would say that in terms of stuff that I think of when I think of California, I think of tacos. I do think of burgers, and that's a good answer. I do think of Korean barbecue, especially associated with L.A.

And I think that's just like a thing to get when you come out here. Donuts. But I think my answer might be something. Donuts. What did you say? Donuts. Donuts, yeah. Donuts is a big one.

Donuts. Yeah. I think my answer might be a sandwich that was invented in L.A. I think a French dip sandwich. You go to Philippe's or Kohl's. I don't know if that's the very best, but it's pretty iconic. And it is kind of unique to the Southland, at least. I thought you were going to go with the classic and say hot salad.

I thought you were going to toss in hot salad. All right. I like my salad's room temp. Carl or Kohl? Carl, you're from Mississippi. Anything, any favorites that make you think of your home state? I'm from Southern Mississippi, which is very close to Bayou area type. So we're big seafood down there.

So when I'm on the beach, when I'm at home, like in Gulfport or Pasagulla, Paschristian, Long Beach, Mississippi, when I'm Biloxi, Ocean Springs, these areas, shout out to all the Gulf Coast cities. Bay St. Louis. When I'm down there, I want seafood. I want fried shrimp, hush puppies and fries. I want fried catfish.

I want a fish for my own fish and fry them up. My dad's also a grill master. He's a great barbecue guy. So we got pretty good barbecue down there. But I think our barbecue is more like Memphis style, if you will. But it's not the, but where we're from, it's like crawfish and crab legs and fried this, fried that. My favorite restaurant is in my hometown.

It's called Bozo's Fish Market. Bozo's Meat Market, something like that. And you just get like a bit, every time we go, I have to go there. You just get like a big ass platter of like crab claws and shrimp and fried oysters and everything with hush puppies and fries. And you just, it's so, so fucking good. Like everything's creole flavored, Cajun flavored. Like that, that is my favorite thing.

Like if, if anybody's ever in Pasigoula, Mississippi, if you're driving on the 10, if you leave in Florida to come west or something like that, and you're driving on 10 freeway, you got to go through my hometown. Go to Bozo's, located on Old Mobile Highway. I gotta say that that is, that is especially sounds so good with the, coming out of winter and going into the spring.

I just want to fucking get, I want to get a big platter of seafood and sit on a fucking beach wall. Oh man. And then have people shove me back into the ocean because they think that I'm fucking stranded. And California for me is Roscos and Tacos. Yeah, I think those, I mean, those are, those are very, very good answers. And two places in the same area too.

Roscos right there on Pico and La Brea, and the taco truck that is right behind it on Venice and La Brea. Oh yes, usually parked at a gas station. Yeah, that, that right there, man, you can't beat that. Yeah, that's a great one too, bunch. Roscos is such a great answer to me. I mean, like, of course, I think Regina is the best pizza in the world,

but it's that sort of thing of like, people don't think of Boston when they think of the best pizza in the world and they'll just say I'm wrong or whatever. But Roscos is so LA, that's like the most LA spot. It's just a perfect, that's the perfect answer. Let us know what the best food is from your state on social media, hashtag home state plate.

And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doughboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830. Godot, that's 830-463-6844. And the tournament continues on the Doughboys Double, where we'll cover the shipping chews, Sprinkles versus Cinnabon, mail order,

catch all the snacks and by joining the Golden or Platinum Plate Club at patreon.com slash Doughboys. What a, what an episode today. Carl Tartt, Asan Williams, thank you so much for being so, so generous with your time and making the trip to DQ and BK. Tell us about the podcast, which you can find at patreon.com slash the flagrant ones.

Carl calls his cousin. It's a podcast where I literally just, we record our phone conversations. And that's it. It could go any way at any time. For example, we had a food hot takes episode and then the very next episode, Asan says some crazy shit

and that became a food hot takes episode two. It's literally just whatever we talk about on the phone. There's no rhyme or reason to it. There's nothing that, there's no bit that is- No one's doing a character. Yeah, there's no underlying anything. It's just us talking. And it could go for 30 minutes.

It could go for an hour. Like it is, it could be funny. It could be serious. It could be anything. It's a phone conversation. We're letting you into our private lives. I talk, I talk bad about y'all, my bosses, you know. Well, we can't, we can't wait for things to come back normal

and get you in the studio for real. Both of you, it would be fun and also get back on the road. Let's get back on the road, man. We take, Nick, take the vaccine. I'll take it. Come on, get the damn vaccine so we can get out of here. We gotta go back to like, I owe Detroit an ass whipping for booing me,

for putting cheese on my Coney. You're not supposed to do that? That sounds great. They booed me. Yeah, they didn't like that for some reason. I will say that they booed a lot of, almost everything we did, I feel like. They were just drunk.

That's just what we were dealing with. Yeah, I'll get the vaccine. We'll go back on the road and we'll have both of you back. Thank you so much. The Israelis told us. And hey, the Israelis told us. The Israelis said that vaccine works. We can get on stage.

Who cares about what's going on in that audience? Those people can get whatever they want to get. But we'll be safe and we won't be giving it to anybody. That's what, that's, that will be the, that will, that will say that in every show. You guys can get whatever you want to get for the Doe Boyz show. But the Israelis told us that we're safe with Pfizer BioNTech. That's, that's the safety disclaimer before every show.

Carl gets on stage by himself and rants about the Israelis. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time, for Mr. Slice, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. The Munch Madness, the Tournament of Chompion's Pie Noon Finale will be streaming live. Tuesday, March 23rd at 8 p.m. Eastern,

the Doe Boys and special guests will select the sweetest treat in all of chain restaurants and you can see it happen. Who will win this year's Dave Thomas Cup? Get your tickets only at headgum.com slash live. That's headgum.com slash live. Want to see the sources for this week's intro? Check the episode description.