Doughboys - Munch Madness: Poquito Más vs. Taco Bell with Mike Hanford

Episode Date: March 14, 2019

For the first Semifinal match of Munch Madness, Mike Hanford (Comedy Bang! Bang!, The Sloppy Boys) returns to the show as first-round winner Poquito Más faces off against heavyweight Taco Bell. Plus, a Starbucks edition of Drank or Stank. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. California. It is now the largest Mexican restaurant in the world with over 7,000 locations globally. McCartney's chain is more recent and less worldwide in reach, but shares an origin recipes cribbed from a Mexican-owned eatery, La Bonita in San Felipe, Baja California. It is now a fast casual institution in the City of Angels with 13 always packed locations. While Bell's chain revels in its almost ludicrous flouting of culinary rules, McCartney's restaurant is built on authenticity and the use of locally sourced ingredients. But which concept better represents the ideal of chain restaurant tacos and burritos? Today, the fate of these Mexican restaurants

founded by two white men will be debated and decided by three white men. Who culturally appropriated most appropriately? This week on Doughboys, the first matchup of the semifinals of Munch Madness 2019, the Tournament of Champions, Mouth of the Border,

Poquito Mas versus Taco Bell. Let's go! Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Mitch Big Hedberg, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. Big Hedberg. Big Hedberg, like Mitch Hedberg. It shouldn't have been Big Hedberg. It's Mitch Big Hedberg.

Mitch Big Hedberg, I think because your name Big Hedberg. It's Mitch Big Hedberg. Mitch Big Hedberg. I think because your name is Mitch, then that's the synergy there. Yeah, but it was bad. That was courtesy of at Chuck Paschall, P-A-S-C-H-A-L-L. You should delete your Twitter account. You guys roll Burger Brigade. And your email. I don't think that if you're sending emails to this, you should just...

Oh, wait. Spoon Nation United? You wrote Burger Brigade, Spoon Nation United. He's trying to send a little message of unity. You should still delete your email and your Twitter. He was saying something. He was saying sort of nice and encouraging us to have some sort of harmony on here. Yes, Mitch Big Hedberg is very nice.

It's playful. Oh, playful. Yes, you, the 40-year-old man. You love playfulness. Fuck off. I'm 38. I'm two years older than you. You've acted 40 forever.

Look, Nick, we shouldn't fight today. The butterfly migration has begun. What? It's true. Our guest knows of this. The butterflies have migrated back from Mexico. Hanford, say your thing. Our guest is Mike Hanford today. Go Mexico. Hanford, say your thing. Our guest is Mike Hanford today. Go ahead, Hanford.

Say your thing. I drove over here. There was about thousands of butterflies. There was about thousands of butterflies flying through the air. Didn't know what they were. Very cool. Now that I got the microphone, I just want to start talking about that crunchy tacos. It's too early. Now you have to be quiet again and we'll introduce you in a second.

Back in my Ziploc bag. Wow. Brought like a man-sized Ziploc. You just went in there. It looks nice in there, actually. Yeah, it looks cozy. Hey, Mitch, we have a... Oh, boy.

You're going to open up a little bit of it. Yeah, you're going to vent it a little bit. It's all those tacos and burritos you gave me. Okay, I'm going back bit. It's all those tacos and burritos you gave me. Okay, I'll go back in. Disgusting. The butterfly migration has begun, Nick. You didn't see all the butterflies today? You probably don't notice things like this.

So that's why... You see in Matrix Code, right? So that's why everyone riding around town was a blurring crazy town out there. Far windows. Hey, Nick, the Quincy boys were in town. I know. Dano, Scoop, Micus, Jankton. Yep.

Let's see. Wait, I'm missing one. You almost got them all. Fuck. Is there a fifth? Yeah. It wasn't Wu-Tang. There's a sixth, too.

Fuck. There's a fifth and a sixth. Raimondi? No. Was there Raimondi? No. Was there a Mundi? No. It's a name that someone we've talked to on the phone before. It's a name that people say all the time.

Buxton? Frailbot. Frailbot, of course. And Wookie was here as well. And Wookie was here. Yeah, that's right. You have a friend named Wookie. It's crazy that Wookie isn't your nickname.

Nick, I took them around. I'll quickly say some of their controversial opinions on the food out here. Yes. First of all, my insides just feel like fucking liquid acid. I feel so fucking sick from the last few days. Right. But they don't like corn tortillas. They didn't like In-N-Out burger fries.

That one I can understand a little bit more. I got them well done, so I don't know if that had anything to do with it, which maybe was a mistake. I mean that sincerely. Right. Because I was like, oh, maybe they'll like them better well done, and then they didn't like them at all. Yeah.

I mean, that's like an acquired taste I think is even charitable. I like In-N-Out fries, but when people are like, I like In-N-Out, but I hate their fries, I'm like, that's defensible. They're weird fries. And then finally, the red hot salsa from Bikino Mas, which we can maybe talk about today. Micah said it tasted like batteries. And he said, no wonder Nick Weiger loves this.

Yeah, he texted me that. Because it tastes like batteries. That's funny. It made me laugh. It was funny. See, we can have fun with each other. We can have can have you take a good-natured ribbing i had fun with them this weekend we did some karaoke at uh at uh sunny mclean's oh that's fun sang a few tunes you were a stone's throw from where we live i know i did not uh call you up you definitely did

not um i could have walked there. Yeah, I know. I didn't inform you. And also, you wouldn't have come. You know what? Let me tell you something. That's Sonny McClain's right across the street from a flagship New Balance store. It is really...

How do I get right-wing stuff and you continue to wear New Balance, which is a Boston company, by the way? I'm reclaiming New Balance for the left. That's my mission. I also wear Nike. I wear their brands. I have some Brooks running shoes. I don't care. You wear Minion shoes. I have some Vans. You know what? I don't,

but maybe I'll get some. Look, I gotta get some things through here. One, I was singing karaoke, and I think that... I want to make a bet with you. In a year's time, I think I can have a Billboard Top 100 song. All right.

What are the terms of this bet? What's on the line? $5,000. Okay. You sound like Mitt Romney, casually throwing out a $5,000 bet. Big money. You want to bet me $5,000

that you're going to have a top 100 billboard? I'll get closer on the charts than you will. I'm not going to try. Why not? You changed the terms of the bet. Fine. If you don't want to... I mean, if I get on the...

How about this? If I get on the billboard top 100, you give me $5,000. If you get on the billboard top 100, I will give you $5,000 within this year. Money in the bank. Between now... We're recording this.

This episode comes out. We'll start the clock tomorrow, March 14th, when this episode releases. By March 14th, 2020, if you have a Top 100 Billboard chart at any point within that year, I will give you $5,000. All right. Fair enough. Because I am so confident that that is not going to happen

because $5,000 is a significant amount of money, not something that I'd sort of casually offer up. Well, you're going to lose it. You might as well transfer it to me now, and then if I don't get it, I'll transfer it back to you. What's your game plan for this hit? Do you, I mean,

are you going to write your own song? Are you going to produce it? Singer-songwriters put a lot of heart into music. Yes. Heart and love. They talk about loving and babies. Something along those lines. I'll get it out. You're going to write a love and babies theme song.

Yeah. Alright. Anyways, howdy ho to Spoon Nation. Here's a drop. We've waited too long, but here's a drop. Oh, you know what? Before I do that, I had spicy nacho Doritos. Yeah. My hands have been stained red for days.

Right. So before I get on the chart, I got to take care of that so I don't have a red hand. That could be your gimmick. Think you're like some sort of lobster creature. Here's a drop. Barbacoa. Barbacoa. Barbacoa.

Barbacoa. Barbacoa. Barbacoa. Barbacoa. You got me rocking and rolling, rocking and reeling. Barbacoa. Barbacoa. Bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar,

bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, man and burger boy hi emma and you song hi wally and irma first time submitting hope you guys like the drop love the show tommy arlington virginia thanks tommy we'll bleep his last name yeah also you don't need to delete your twitter account or your email as mitch said to the person who roasted him you keep doing what you're doing all right let's introduce the guests yeah so we've got a really great guest here we go oh my god he looks dead in the Ziploc bag. Yeah, we should have ventilated that. I think he's just been in there farting.

Yeah, that's clearly what's going on. So anyway, so our guest is... Wait, what is going on? Oh, God damn it. Oh, no. I mean, I shouldn't be too surprised. He was sitting here by a microphone. We played that really... We should have set

that up a little better. Hello, it's evan wow he's here i'm gonna read a brief statement by the way that was the weakest no chance in hell i've ever heard you you barely put it up to the microphone everything about that was kind of lethargic all right that's better we take that again can we just sort of say like let's go on a different let's not we just sort of say, like, let's go on a different, let's not say we're going to introduce our guests. Let's go on a different tangent, and then we'll have them interrupt it. So, Mitch, we did a Twitter poll of tacos versus burritos. What's that music?

It's me, Commissioner Susser! All right, that is better. Okay, I'm here. I've got a brief statement I'm going to read, and then I'm going to open the i'm gonna just got turned down i just want to give some can i give some context real quick nope our listeners who maybe might be new to the podcast maybe this is their first tournament of champions evan susser friend of the podcast frequent guest uh is a is also the acting commissioner of the tournament of champions as he has been since its inception. Yes.

All right, I'm going to read a brief statement and then we'll open the floor for discussion. Okay. Hello, Doughboys. You song. Guest, Mike Hanford. Welcome to the 2019 Tournament of Champions Munch Madness Mouth of the Border Edition. I just want to point out, Emma's not here.

That's the reason you didn't address her. I apologize for my absence last week. I was occupied with the duties of fatherhood and hosting a completely original food-based podcast, Deli Boys. Subscribe on iTunes. I am happy to be here this week, however, but I am extremely unhappy with how the tournament has been going. Wow. In a word, horrible. Wow.

Many egregious errors have been made while I stepped away from the wheel. Today, I am here to correct them. And we're only a week and a half in. First of all, while it has thankfully been established that the losers of the tournament are being fed to Jaws by Dennis Leary, the ref. Completely logical. Yes. Where do the winners go?

We have not established that. To the Leaning Tower of Pizza, like last year. To the aliens to show them what a burger is, like in the first year. Or to the devil to make him good, like during Chicken Fight. Yeah. The audience is left to wonder.

That's true. By the way, that alien metric, that was established by our guest Jessica McKenna on the first ever episode of the Tournament of Champions. Several key franchises have been left out of the bracket. I just want to say, I think that's a really great way of like... It was great. It's like the idea of like, what's the ideal burger you would give to an alien to be like, this is what a burger is. Also, several key franchises have been left out of the bracket.

Yeah. Including Moe's and Baja Fresh. While adding two more chains at this stage may be unrealistic, adding at least one is necessary. Wow. It is for that reason that I am now declaring the live show finale not a three-way battle, but a final four.

Come on. I will open the floor to discussion of the logistics of both of these topics so we have two things to discuss yes first of all who are these burritos and tacos going to nick i mean let's unzip all right we're gonna unzip you here are you holding your breath that old time i had had to, Nick. I had to. Okay, so the crunchy taco supreme I got. No, no, no. We're discussing. Oh, okay.

Well, let me know when I can talk about this thing. Who does? Because I want to give it five forks, this thing. Oh, no. It's not even what we're doing today. Problem number three, guest booking. Okay, okay. Hanford, and Nick, where should the loser,

the taco and burrito loser goes to Bruce the Shark. By the way, our guest today from Comedy Bank, making the birthday boys in his band, the Sloppy Boys, as you may know from the podcast, Mike Hanford is back. Great to have you, Hanford. Love to be here. Love being on this show. We're feeding the losers to Bruce, the Jaws shark.

Yep. And it's fed to him by the ref, Dennis Leary. I think you think people know that the Jaws... I assume that. The shark is named Bruce. They do now. I know. I'm just saying you kind of initially threw it out as kind of like...

This is a learning podcast as well. You learn things from it. Hanford, Bruce the shark gets the tacos and burritos. Right. Named after? Named after... Oh, yes. Spielberg's...

Hold on. Valanche didn't punch up on Jaws, right? You heard that Quint monologue? Maybe that's where the winner is going. The winner goes to Bruce Valanche? Wow. Wow. But why, though?

We've always had an explanation. Wow. Wow. But why, though? We've always had an explanation. Well, you know, like, Valanche's job is to spice up the copy of a Hollywood awards show. Yeah. And so he needs something to give him some spicy inspiration. Yes.

That's the winning taco and burrito. I like that. I feel pretty. Everybody feel good about the winner goes to Bruce Valanche? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay, great. The winner goes to Bruce Valanche, and he's gonna write uh the doughboys live finale and there's no better resting place

that's perfect yeah we'll reach out to bruce valanche we'll get him to uh to punch up the live finale which i will be very much a part of uh now let's talk about that live finale yes so mose uh one of the most popular uh you know burrito or taco chains it's in the top five and yet not included in the tournament i've really yeah i've like seen when i've never been inside we thought about doing mose's. It was partly logistics. The closest one is in Oceanside, California, where my parents live. And so I could go down. Your parents live at a Moe's?

So I make a two birds, one stone and see your parents and thank them once again for bringing you into this world. I don't want to do that shit. Yeah. And then Baja Fresh, which Farley Elliott, the only person with any knowledge of food to ever appear on this podcast, thought it was egregious that Baja Fresh was left out. So what I would propose... You know, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I know more about the L.A. restaurant scene than Farley.

Farley Elliott is a... You've eaten more of it. All right. All right. Okay. All right. That was not fair. It got him.

I won. I do won. All right. That was not fair. I won. I do won. So here's what I would propose. A final four at the live show with an audience pick. So we put on Twitter Moe's Baja Fresh or past winter burrito and taco. What? That would be, I would make a burrito out of an In-N-Out burger and make a taco of a Wendy's chicken sandwich. So those are going to be the options.

Well, people are just going to pick the weird one. People are going to pick the weird one, of course. Should that one be gone? No, I want that. That's the easiest one. I think this is the, you're giving one of these chains a free pass straight to the finale everyone else has to work its way through the bracket

they gotta either scrap their way up from the ranks of Fat Chance Kitchen in our losers bracket or they gotta win all the way win out so they can make it to the finale and you're just gonna give Moe's the fucking on ramp like they're getting on the highway I agree with that just cause it's fifth in the nation

doesn't mean it gets to go all the way to the end. Wow. Here's the thing. Uh-oh. I'm the commissioner in the real world, not the ideal world. This is a world where celebrities are paying $250,000 to get their kids into Harvard. This is the way of the world now. How much did your parents pay to get you into Ithaca?

I applied to 11 schools. And then how much did Ithaca pay for them to take you back? I applied to 11 schools. I got into two. I got into two schools. And you did row crew. Very suspicious. I actually did row crew.

Oh, yeah. I'm not smart enough to graduate from college to fucking sleep away camp. College fucking sucks. But people don't graduate from college. What?

People don't graduate from college. You don't only... Sure. I'm saying like... And you want to make fun of the... They're making fun

of me for this. You're in a sour mood today. Guess what? Weigert didn't graduate from college, you dumb prick. You fucking idiot. I mean, look, I'm dumb as shit. We've established this. So, Moe.

It's a sleepaway camp, for God's sake. Yeah, it is. It's just a way for a lot of students treat it that way. It's whack. And I rode crew, and I take huge offense to people saying that they rode crew when they didn't. I'm steamed. That's stolen valor. It is.

I rode, had no life, was a loser, and rode crew for two and a half years. And now everything else is the same, but you don't row crew anymore. Maybe I am in a sour mood. You were in a very sour mood. This morning, you're texting me and Susser. You're furious about some bullshit going on online. Which I can't even explain what is happening. But you are insane the way that you reacted to me.

You woke up with a bitter taste in your mouth, and it's been affecting your mood all day. God, I can't wait for... You know what? Wanker's right. Everyone online to say this. Wanker's actually right about this. You're being prickly. Mitch is hard to... You know what? Wiger's right. Everyone online to say this. Wiger's actually right about this. You're being prickly.

Mitch is hard to... You know what? Mitch is... I tolerate Mitch. Fuck you. Don't listen to the fucking show. Guys, I come here to commission. I don't come here to cause fights.

Nothing makes me more upset than seeing you two fight. And I feel like I maybe caused it by throwing a monkey wrench into this whole thing. I brought you a gift today, Weiger. Wait, what gift did you bring me? It's right there. Oh, you brought me a packet of In-N-Out spread. Yes. Yeah, thanks. It's right there under a pile of

wires. Oh, yeah, thanks. What an asshole. No, this is, I like the In-N-Out spread. It's good. Fucking eat it right now then. I'm not gonna fucking shoot this. No, no, smear it on your phone Fucking eat it right now, then. I'm not going to fucking shoot this. No, no. Smear it on your phone and eat it. Mitch is angry all the time. Fuck you, you listener piece of shit.

Jay Leno listens to Doughboys? That's right, Jay. Kevin Eubanks hangs out with him and listens, too? Yeah yeah eubanks loves it would you guys consider just consider having jay leto on to review the oscar meyer wiener car both worlds yeah we could have both sides of that good uh if he could drive it over here and then we could see if mitch will eat it oh i'm cranky today maybe because you fucking give me shit all the time.

You know, it's not easy to get podcasts to play in my Model T. I like that old-time firetruck you got, Jay. You would think it would be easy. He would just get a jawbone because he would just have to look in the mirror and get that idea. Can we edit on this or should I be self-editing? Self-editing? Yeah, be conscious of your edits. You can tell them to use song after.

Jay is sensitive about jaw stuff. It's his chin. It's not a jaw thing. It's his chin. Can we edit on this? Yeah, edit this out. He's writing it down. The other option, if you're uncomfortable with them going into the finals, though I don't think anyone should be,

is I suppose there's one more loser last kitchen not today that's going to be recorded. Yeah, we've got two more of those coming. If it feels more fair, then the audience could get in kind of through the side door to the loser bracket. But either way, I think those two chains have been neglected. And also my stupid idea is funny. And the audience should get a chance to vote and see what they want. I want the stupid idea to happen.

Yeah, I'd like to try that. So should that be at a double or should that be at the live show i think we got to move tickets on this live show yeah it's a word we do yeah we're at like 10 soul where and when is it maybe get the word out uh we haven't yeah i mean it's here is a thing well at mitch's apartment this is my apartment no good i'm to fucking fight every fan that comes. You think they bite every crayon that comes? I'm going to bite every crayon that comes. Sounds like a hungry kindergartner.

But I digress. There will be an audience poll. You will vote what you would like entered into the competition, and it will be at the live show. Hey, you know, speaking of audience polls, I was getting into this earlier when we introduced you for the third time. Yes. We did a poll, because last week on our episode with Tony Charlene, you and I were discussing whether tacos or burritos were better. We put it to the audience, and on our Doughboys Twitter,

tacos, burritos, what do you choose? With 4,497 votes, it tied 50% a piece. What was the check mark on? Tacos. Really? Yeah. Oh, that's because you voted for it. Yeah.

Is that how it works? Yeah, I think so. Okay. You piece of shit. You voted for it, you loser. Yeah, of course I voted for it. If these all tie, then I guess we'll have to have all of them.

I participate in our electoral process. All right, that's it for me. You're leaving? Yeah. Do you want to also talk about the burrito that we got you? Oh, yeah. I got an extra burrito from Paquito Moss.

It was great. Hey, Susser, real quick before you go, you know, quick question. Susser, is Marine the you go, quick question. Susser, is Maureen the raccoon and Ray the flying squirrel, are the two of them in the Sonic the Hedgehog movie? Susser, come back. He signed an NDA. He can't tell us.

He left his statement here. It's wet. It's ranch dressing. Did he have ranch on his burrito? That's just a menu from. It's ranch dressing. Did he have ranch on his burrito? That's just a menu from Langer's Deli. What the hell?

Hanford, thank you for sitting through more bullshit than our guests No, hey, come on. I found that stimulating, exciting to be part of the, I'm not going to say

behind the scenes here because this is being recorded, but it's exciting to me. You know what I'm going to do? At the live show finale, everyone who's in line? Yeah. I'm going to take that. Me and Leno are going to take his firetruck and hose down the entire audience.

Hose them down, Mitch. Hose them down good. Heads up, if you're coming to our live show, you will get wet. I'm soaked. It's a splash zone. It'll be like Gallagher. Hanford, thank you

so much for joining us. Hey, I gotta say right off the bat, my throat, are you feeling dry in this LA air these days? My throat has been damn dry. It's been a dry spell. I get the dry hands and my hands crack and bleed. That's a big issue. You guys don't get that?

I get dry hands, but the bleeding is the next level. Yeah, they crack and bleed. That's a big issue. You guys don't get that? I get dry hands, but the bleeding is the next level. Yeah, they crack and bleed. I've had that in the winter, you know, in the snowy. Right. Skin bleeding out of nowhere, you say. Consult your Bible, Weiger. Suggesting I have stigmata? It's a very robot thing, like the skin is on top of a machine.

Oh, yes, the blood of a robot. thing like the skin is on top of a machine. Yes, the blood of a robot. You were nodding along when I was talking about the dry hands. You have a dryness issue? Yeah, I have really dry hands. Oh boy. Are you lubing up year-round or is it just seasonal?

What type of question is that? Okay, I'm sorry. Are you lotioning your hands year-round? No, you song answer it the way he asked. I lube up when it's necessary. You don't have to be here. I got you. Blink if you're in trouble.

At night, in this sort of season, I'm putting lotion on my hands at night. I don't get it in the throat as much, but I get the lips and the hands. Terrible. I'm coughing like crazy, but I don't feel bad. I'm not sick. Right. It's just a dry. You got to do what I do.

My Neal Med, my sinus rinse. You got to do it. People are going to think this is sponsored content. It's not. Man, we wish we could fucking get a sinus rinse.

Are you kidding me? What's that real money? Do you know, I hang out with the Quincy guys this weekend. Yeah. I come back. Look, I like our listeners.

I didn't know Scoop was a guy. Scoop is here. Yeah, Scoop. I didn't know about Scoop. Mike is his brother. Mike is his brother. Scoop rules. Yeah.

Scoop is a good guy. Scoop rules. You like Dano. I like Dano. I like him a lot. Oh, yeah. Dano was here, too. I was here last time, and you really liked him.

Oh, Dano's cool. Did we say Dano was here? Dano was here. Dano was here. Yeah. No, he was one of the names I listed. we saw dano uh in in chicago in chitown yeah we hung out with them you think he's wiger thinks he's really cool dano's the coolest you're not talking about uh paul dano of course he's uh live on broadway doing true west check it out i haven't seen wow

right i was talking about paul dano okay wait that's not who your friend is i thought he was paul dano you have never met you just assumed he who your friend is? I thought he was Paul Dano. You have never met him. You just assumed. He's cool. He's a big actor. He's cool as hell. Yeah. I come...

After hanging out with my friends, I come into my house. We get sent... We get sent... Look, I love the listeners, of course. Mitch is your boy. I almost thought you said lizards. I love the lizards, man i love all animals um i come into my house hanging out with these kids just a wild time nick right i come into the house

i see wally and irma batting around a little wool penis a little wool penis penis peanut penis penis penis they opened up. There was catnip in these little. Someone sent us catnip penises. And Wally and Irma had torn apart the packaging. There's little stars on the floor. See these little stars on the floor? That was in the packaging, too.

They ripped apart the packaging. They had gotten inside of it, and they pulled out these little penises. They were knocking penises all around the apartment when I came home. They were knocking penises everywhere. I'm telling you the truth. I believe you. You saw what is the issue. You don't have to edit.

You don't got to edit anything. They were knocking penises left and right. Then they were pawing around penises. It's the truth. So I'm just trying to understand exactly what this is like a knit penis that has catnip inside of it. Catnip inside of it, yes. So it's irresistible to cats. Yes.

Mitch is standing up. He's walking over. He's leaving the room. He's not wearing pants. Yeah, he's going... He's doing the Winnie the Pooh look. That's an empty bag. All right, so there's an empty bag that says...

Clawed through. It says, bag of dicks on the outside, cat toys. So this is like a sort of off-color, sort of fun for mom and dad sort of cat toy situation. So you're mad at the cats for this. And now I'm the suspicious red stains on your hand and lack of meowing in here really makes no sense. It's the spicy nachos. I would never hurt the cats. You saw Irma.

You saw her. Wally's hiding in the closet. So someone sent a package to our PO box, I assume. It was retrieved, brought to your apartment, or they sent it directly to you. Either way, it's inside your apartment. This is from a listener. And then the cats pawed their way into the packaging

to get to these dicks. Yeah. OK, got it. A package full of packages. There is a package. Nick doesn't like to do them. What are you talking about? I'm always asking to do the damn packages.

They don't like having packages in your apartment. Yes. Well, we can open them anytime. Oh, I hate so many people signing my yearbook. Oh, I'm so proud. I hate having gifts sent to my house. It's nice. There's no room for all the gifts in here.

I have a bunch of UPS boxes, because Nick doesn't want to go through them. We'll go through them anytime. And you were late today, Nick. Wasn't he, Hanford? Oh, Weiger. What the hell was that about? All right, here's the thing. Where the hell were you?

No, I was so worried. I was picking up- I picked up Hanford's food, which- And I picked up Hanford's food as well. Yeah. You went to Taco Bell. I went to Bikini Moss. I left my apartment at 12.20 p.m. We up Hanford's food as well. Yeah. You went to Taco Bell. I went to Bikini Moss. I left my apartment

at 1220 p.m. We're recording at 2 p.m. I left my apartment at 1150 to go to the trainer. Yeah. So, you know, it's a haul up to the Studio City

Bikini Moss location. That's a far one. Very, very busy location, but it's the closest one to your... For those of you who know California, it's pretty short. It's actually just like a mile or so but it's the closest one to your... For those of you who know California, it's pretty short.

It's actually just like a mile or so from Nick's place. I gotta go up the 405. One of the busiest freeways there is. You sound like the Californians. Anyway, so that was a whole ordeal. Yeah, I was there before... I gave myself 30 minutes to get the food and then break,

you know, and it ended up taking like almost that entire time for the food to even be made. Oh, man. I was so efficient

I was early, actually. We're caught at your place and you had to get Taco Bell. You had to go to a Taco Bell drive-thru. Hanford was pissed you weren't here, okay? I was really

cursing you up and down, but hearing this explanation makes sense. Well, thank you for picking me up the food, Weiger. Of course. I got a text from Mitch asking if I wanted to do the show and said, you have to pick up the food. I said, I don't want to do that. I did not say that.

You said, well, there was very little information. I had to draw the information out of you. What are you doing? Are you doing anything tomorrow what's going on if your answer was yes that you were doing anything at all i wouldn't bother you with the podcast no i think you gotta go to someone say are you doing anything i want you to be on the podcast because if i was do you know busy with going to the store right i would say i could do that some other day. That's true. It depends. It's a code. I don't know.

Sometimes... It's a code texting with you. I'd say the store kind of trumps coming on Tobolsk. Yeah, the M&M store. Oh, boy. Yeah. God dang. That's a lot of fun.

Do you guys ever think about reviewing chain stores like M&M store or Lego stores? Like Best Buy? Well, we won't get into grocery store months because it's Best Buy. I'm thinking of like a themed store. You know what I mean? Got it. Are there other things than M&M though? What are we going to review at Best Buy? Gamer Grub? What do you

review there? A lineup of washers and dryers. Pretty straight. CD selection. Also pretty straight. A+. I want to ask hanford you ask the question that everyone that's on everyone's mind about nick did we talk about this before what happened to his nose why do you edit this out you must edit this out why what happened your nose uh so i and people

may see this in the show photo i have a small wound that's mostly healed up now on the bridge of my nose. But it's kind of scabby and gross looking. Yeah, you can say that again. Sorry, what were you saying? The surrounding skin and structure around the scab is pretty gross, but the scab itself

is nothing. I had a little gym mishap. How did that happen? I'd nick myself in the nose with a... Do you think a regular dumbo was a shake weight? Naturally going into a masturbatory motion. Hey, can we bring the weights into the shower? We told you a thousand times, leave the weights in the weight room.

You're not supposed to be in the locker room I was bringing a barbell down And I nicked myself on the bridge of the nose Damn Yeah, sort of That's scary stuff Because it was I'm assuming it was You're maxing out

Very heavy weights Yeah, extremely heavy weight I'm super strong You hit yourself in the face You know That might shock you so much That you just drop the whole thing on your face Right, yeah

But I mean You had a gym fail? You had a gym fail. That's crazy. I probably... Who knows? I'm probably... There's probably an Instagram video of me on BroBible.

No, there isn't. That's the only Bible... Oh, there isn't? Okay. No, no, no. That's my only... Only account I follow. Check the chive, too.

It might be on the chive. Oh, I think it is on the chive. Oh, boy. Saturday's for the boys. Oh, I think it is on the child boy Saturdays for the boys Hey, we're tonight. The only Bible we've ever read is the bro Bible. We read it from the back. Yeah, I've got I'm trying to think of a bro to reference.

Thou so not harsh the mellow in Blazarian book one Thou shall collect many machine guns Did you listen to the show? What? Bill Zarian? Dan Blazarian? Yeah, he's on a bunch He's the guest that comes back the most That was who was here earlier

You remember the commissioner? Dan Bill Zarian He calls himself Evan Susser on the show Yeah, I was staring at the ground the whole time. I should have looked up. I'm curious, because we're talking Mexican food, and I know you're someone who lives out here, but originally from the East Coast, hand man.

Where does Mexican food rank in terms of your favorite eats? Well, first of all, growing up, Taco Bell was like my sort of Mexican food go-to. Right. And when you in the intro said restaurant, referring to Taco Bell, that's the funniest thing. Like when people say McDonald's or Taco Bell, restaurant is very funny to me. You should hear it from Mitch. What do you say about Taco Bell? It's my favorite restaurant.

Favorite restaurant? Mm-hmm. Just period. Wow. Favorite restaurant? Here's the triforce of fast food. I'm going to say it right now. McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell.

I think a lot of people have issues with Wendy's. You get two burger joints in there. Huh? You get two burger joints in there. Wendy? You get two burger joints in there. Wendy's is a spicy chicken. Well, what else? Yeah, what other? Hmm.

Oh, I see what you're saying. I mean, like, yeah, it depends. Rake them how you see them. Rake them how you have them. Yeah, yeah. Hashtag. Arby's is up there for me for the fast food. I love Arby's.

Arby's is a lot of fun. Arby's is a good one, yeah. Hashtag. It says sauce. Fast food Triforce. Yeah. Let's see what people. Sure.

What's the top three we were doing mount like mount rushmore's for a while but maybe it would maybe we'll move on to triforces maybe that's the new system the big three the big three um wendy i mean wendy's quality has gone back and forth i just really love i mean i have a soft spot in my heart if we're saying it's a personal it's a personal thing for each of us, we're each designating which is our Triforce of Wisdom, which is our Triforce of Power, and which is our... What's the third one?

Is it Courage? It's the third Triforce. What's this coming from? The Legend of Zelda series. Got it. What is it, Wisdom? Mitch and I just looked at you stone-faced. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. Wisdom, Courage. What did you say? Wisdom, Courage. I thought it was Wisdom, Power. What did you say? Wisdom, courage. I thought it was wisdom, power, and courage. Gannon is usually the one who has the Triforce of power. I think the third one is testosterone. Oh, boy.

Count me out. Which one is Little Green Hats? Hashtag fast food Triforce for me. I mean, I got to throw in an out burger in there. I think I'd probably say I have to throw in Del Taco. I have to throw in Del Taco. Jesus. The third one is tricky.

God. See, I... Go ahead. Go ahead. I was just going to say, like, and, you know, it's not... Veggie grill or something. It's not as frequently discussed on here. As much as I love McDonald's, I might say Popeye's.

This is insane. Oh, wow. Your Triforce is insane. I think it's pretty reasonable. You didn't include McDonald's. But I got one burger joint in there. I love McDonald's. McDonald's is fantastic.

McDonald's is a twice a month minimum place for me. I love McDonald's. You know, speaking of, Yusang, we gave you a gift of, I shouldn't say that, you know, edit this part out. Yusang, at one point, we gave you Breath of the Wild.

Is that true? Oh no, we gave you Mario. Fuck. What did you want edited out, if you were just gonna say? I just wanted to see how far he's made it. Have you 100% of Mario? You just said like, at one point we gave you a gift, oh wait, we should edit this out. you were just gonna say i just wanted to see how far he's made it in the uh have you have you 100 of mario you just said like like one point we gave you a gift oh wait we should edit this out and then you said okay at one point we gave you i didn't i didn't know how to i didn't know how to put it i want to see how he is done got it did you first of all do you have breath

of the wild no i do not what the fuck is wrong with you oh boy um i beat the darker side, but I have a 100% Odyssey. Ooh! I'm prickly today, Mitch. This gets me into Scrooge mode. Don't come back tomorrow until you've 100%ed the game, Yusong. We're in a sour mood. Also, what's going on tomorrow? Yusong and I are working on a side project. I'm going to beat that game.

Yusong, are you a Zelda fan? I've never played a Zelda game. Wow. And yet you're wearing the little green hat right now. What? I was speechless. Mitch just had a cartoonish flailing of his arms and reeling back in his chair.

Yusong, you gotta switch now. I know. Can I jump over to Team Yuusong for a second? I've never played Zelda as well. Hell yeah. That I can understand a little bit more. Why? Well, because Yuusong...

Nick, you can treat me like shit here if you want. Go ahead. Unleash on me. Why you do Yuusong? There's nothing to go after Hanford for. Hanford's lovable. He's talented. He's a great dude.

Stop hugging me. Just come here. Let's get in the bag together. Don't not go in that bag. Seal this buddy up. He's green. YouSong, I know, is a hardcore gamer dude. And Hanford, I don't think of as someone who plays a lot of video games.

No, I have a PS3, and I just finally beat GTA V after like four years. Oh, my God. I picked it up and put it down so many times. You listen to too much Fish's David Bowie. Yeah. When you should get Linkus an arrow in Bowie. What I should be is reading books and trying to help my brain get bigger. You should be reading Zelda guides.

For a game I don't play? Hammered is a... He's a fish guy. He's at the concerts. Video games and fish, those two cannot ever intertwine. But I really like Red Dead Redemption, and I was considering... I was talking about Echo the Dolphin.

Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. That mammal? Okay, Nick Slorg. I lost his mind. Interesting. It's just funny. Putting all the pieces together, you lost your mind.

I'm sorry. You're saying you're playing Red Dead Redemption. Red Dead. I loved Red Dead 1. I was considering buying the PS4 for Red Dead 2, but that's asking for trouble. Yeah. It's a big investment for one game. And time.

I would say if you're going to get a system and you're a casual gamer you're saying i think the switch is the way to go as nintendo switch yeah the nintendo switch i mean the thing is you don't have red dead redemption 2 right now but maybe it'll get a port eventually it seems to be getting most of these games but either way it's just like it's got so many great pickup and play games and you can take it on the go it sounds like brownie conda for nintendo switch which again we wish we could have a Nintendo Switch ad on there. Yuusong, I got great news for you. Next week, instead of getting paid,

you'll get The Legend of Zelda... Tip book! Breath of the Wild. If we can find it used at GameStop. Oh, boy. And also, that will be your pay for next week, but you won't get another game. I think you'd love it.

You like RPGs. No, I think I'd love it too. It's not quite an RPG, but... Why don't you have it? I don't know. You've played other games adjacent to that genre though, right? Yeah, there's just, you know, there's only a few hours every day. Yousung, can I be honest with you? Can I be honest with you for a second?

This is the most disappointed I've ever been in you. My most disappointed Yousung that I've been in you is when you showed up minutes after Nick Weigert. Wow. Yeah. You were coming from a big industry event, though. You look like a million bucks. No, I was volunteering at like a...

Ooh, Hanford. I care not. Elementary school music thing, and Ricky Miner was there. That was cool. Oh, that's cool. Mitch and I both had to look up Ricky Miner. You had to look him up. Yeah.

Nick, so you're speaking of Leno. Leno's band leader after Eubanks left. Yeah, that's right. I think he did an even better job than Eubank. I don't know about that, Jay. Yeah, you're right. Come on, get on the fire truck. This is fun.

I changed the siren to sound like me. That's rich, Jay. Okay, Jay, well, do you want to play the siren? That's the sound of it. Oh, why did I say that in my voice? Whatever. Moving on. Nick, let's get into the damn...

Should we get into this fucking episode? We gotta get into it. What time is it? We're 42 minutes in right now. By my clock. Who knows? Your timestamp may vary a little bit depending on how this episode is edited.

My timestamp? I don't care what happens with this show. I'm talking to the listeners. Oh. My timestamp is right on. So here are the rules of the Tournament of Champions that have not been amended by our commissioner today. So these still stand.

Tacos and burritos only. Sides stay on the sidelines. Drinks are in the Gatorade jug, also on the sidelines. One taco and one burrito from each chain. And eater's choice, go crunchy or soft, streamlined or loaded, whatever protein you want. That's up to you in terms of which taco and which burrito from each chain, an eater's choice. Go crunchy or soft, streamlined or loaded, whatever protein you want. That's up to you in terms of which taco and which burrito you want to go with. Our combatants today, Poquito Mas, which in the first round, I mean, you know, Poquito Mas, a higher seed, drew kind of a cupcake battle in the first one. They had to take on Green Burrito, Red Burrito, the subsidiary of Carl's Jr.,

and it took it down pretty easily. And then Taco Bell, which got a buy as one of the top seeds, a buy into the second round. It's been reviewed four times on the podcast. It's in the Platinum Plate Club, a beloved chain, I think more so for you, Mitch, but definitely a chain I treasure as well. They're the duke of the whole thing.

The duke, yeah. UNC duke. They're the Duke of the whole thing. The Duke, yeah. UNC Duke. They're showing up every time. They are. Absolutely. And in Puketo, I mean, I guess what's Puketo Moss? Like the Gonzaga? They're like a smaller sort of outlet.

Ah, that's good. But they're always in the mix. Yeah, LSU. A butler? Mm-hmm. Yes. Look, I don't really follow college sports, but I have a peripheral awareness of it. I would take, if I had the time and money,

I would take you to ESPN in Connecticut right now, drop you off, and say, put this man on the air. To Bristol? That's right. Wow. Right down the street from WWE. Oh, God, I would love for you to get fucking body slammed while you're over there.

Braun Strowman to take you and Colin Jost out together. If you're getting body slammed at ESPN, you're doing something wrong. Oh, man. If Strowman takes out me and Jost, RIP comedy. So we dined in. I dined in at the Santa Monica. Oh, fuck. No.

Yes, I went to these... Jesus, I thought you just saw, like, breaking news that a war had come up. My notes are wrong. I thought you left your wallet there. My notes are wrong. Oh, no, no. Fuck. I went to a different one.

Don't edit this out. I didn't go to the Santa Monica one. Let's see. Let's hear Nick. I wrote that I went to the Santa Monica Chipotle, which used to be a Paquito Mas. But that's not true. That me having like a that was my chipotle experience because i went to the mochito moss i thought it was that one but it wasn't but i went to the mochito moss in westwood so i went to the mochito moss in westwood and i also went to the taco bell

in santa monica wait i wasn't listening. Can you repeat that? So what happened is I had in my notes that I went to the Poquito Mas in Santa Monica, but that used to be a Chipotle. But obviously, that's impossible to eat there. Oh, my God. You almost said Choke-Potle, and that would be a bad name for that restaurant. Yeah, Choke-Potle. Hey, we're changing our name from Choke-Potle. You know, watch the stocks dip.

Yeah, hard to pronounce. Doesn't evoke anything in particular. Makes you think it's choking. It evokes choking. It evokes choking, which you don't want to have, watch the stocks dip. Yeah, hard to pronounce. Doesn't evoke anything in particular. Makes you think it's choking. It evokes choking. It evokes choking, which you don't want to have associated with the food stuff. Very close to death. Yeah. Have you ever had a choking incident?

Have you ever had a choking incident? You know, I've had the same thing. We've probably all had a little food getting in the windpipe and doing the real, like, whoa, this could be bad if somebody doesn't help me out. Actually, I've never been like CPR is not the right word Heimlicht Heimlicht

yeah I got Heimlicht before my dad Heimlicht me at a Togo's you sung your ever had a joke had you eaten anything yet or was he trying to prove something he's trying to demonstrate

how strong he was I can do this think you're tougher than me I never said that to him I have a feeling that you've choked before Nick too alright art of choke he's talking about art of choke I have a feeling that you've choked before, Nick, too. All right. Art of Choke.

He's talking about Art of Choke soon, I think. Did Natalie have to perform the Heimlich on you? No way. Okay. It's like putting her... I guess she would have to put her hands... It's like putting her hands through like an O. Like the letter O.

We don't need to go into this detailed breakdown of me performing autofillatio in front of my wife. She Heimlicht you when you went down on yourself is what I'm saying. I know. Everyone got it. Everyone understood. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doughboys. Which is good. Good. Lucy is upping the nicotine pouch game with breakers. Pouches, packing a little something extra inside.

What are Lucy breakers, you may ask? Well, if you know your pouches, you know that the nicotine doesn't hit immediately and neither does the flavor. The geniuses at Lucy came up with a brilliant way to fix both those problems. They put a mini liquid capsule inside each breakers pouch. Here's what you do. Grab a breakaker's Pouch and break the capsule. Yes, with your teeth. It makes a really satisfying pop. Put it in your lip and enjoy the immediate nicotine and flavor release. Nobody is doing anything like this except for Lucy.

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Welcome back to Doughboys. We're here with Mike Hanford. Coming in on a cough. Coming in on a cough. Coming in on a cough. Yous on a cough. Usong just left. He's running a... He's going to get Breath of the Wild, I think. I think that's where he's going.

So, Pochino Mas Taco Bell, you mentioned you were a Taco Bell fan growing up. Yes. And so my Mexican food, I guess, exposure has been big out here. Right. Yeah. And it's pretty high up there in my usual eating. Yeah.

And I mean, like I've mentioned before that it's probably my favorite food. I just love it. But so, Pochino Mas, you've had, I mean, you used to live by that Pochino Mas. Pochino Mas was the first restaurant I ever went to here. Wow. Yeah. All the way back in when we came out here for some internships. This is where we went first, yeah.

That's crazy. Yeah. So really tied up with your LA identity. Oh, yeah. Hanford, we can talk about this a little bit. You and I, I mean, when we worked at the – we would meet at the Birthday Boys house almost every night of the week at one point. And then we especially would meet on Sundays.

Right. But the Keto Mas had a had a had a big part of that it was a mainstay it was a huge mainstay yeah me and jeff dutton would uh run over there and grab stuff a lot of the time i would do a plate usually one of those taco plates yeah and jeff was a burrito guy you what did you get i got i was a burrito guy as well yeah burrito guy and then i just went to town on those chips yes the chips are something else there and if i was real if i'm really hungry uh, which this tournament just is, I would do a burrito and a mini taco, a mini steak taco.

Nick thinks Dutton is cool. Do you know of this? Well, right. I've seen this online a lot. He's a cool dude. People, yeah, jump in on the Sloppy Boys and say Dutton is cool. They're doing a lot, and I was like, Jeff, you're really good.

He's got that energy. But I think it's coming off, people are using it off of Doughboy's here. Got it. Yeah, Dutton's a cool guy. Hanford and I can tell you that. He's not that cool. We're the cool ones.

I thought you were going to say Mitch. We can call him cool, but you can't. I mean, we can call him cool, and you can't, but Hanford and I are the cool ones, right, Hanman? I think so. Well, also, you'd say Dave and Tim are pretty cool.

Yeah. All you guys are cool. Chris Van Aertsdalen is cool. Hey, man. I think so. Well, so you'd say Dave and Tim are pretty cool. Yeah. Oh, you guys are cool. Chris Van Hart's stealing. Yeah. It's cool. Cool as hell. Everyone's cool. They're all cool.

Everyone's cool in their own way. So that's and that's not just for the birthday boys in this live. That's for your listeners. Oh, that's like a sort of a valuable thing to take to heart. How about that? There's some people who listen to this podcast that are not cool. Oh. Alaska listeners. listen to this podcast that are not cool. Whoa! Alaska

listeners. I guess they would be cool. They would be cool. You saw that out. I guess the listeners on the equator. There you go. There we go. Exact opposite. You know, there might be a point with

climate change where the equator is basically, there's basically an uninhabitable fire belt around the Earth. Really? Where there would just be a zone where you just couldn't even go outside. Hey, bring marshmallows, man. Paid content from the s'mores company. Nick is reading our uninhabitable Earth right now. Yeah, I finished it.

It's great. Send it over to me. I have it on Kindle. All right, give me your Kindle. I'm going to give you my Kindle? Things are going to get batted around by your cats. That was a pretty quick lie there, Nick.

It's on my Kindle. It can't be done. It's on my Kindle. If I had a physical copy, I would happily lend it to you. I think it's a book people should read. I'm afraid of the cats batting around something else after these new catnip

toys they got. They're going to think there's catnip inside your Johnson. That's what you're thinking? Johnson. Too small. Your first words are too small? Jesus. So, Boogie to Moss, I love Taco Bell bell i love i in different ways they're doing different things this is an interesting mismatch this is this is yeah this is two different sides of the coin yeah

both these places i'm gonna tell you right now both these places really have my heart yeah this is a tough episode for me yeah i hey, this might be the sort of this debate, this struggle inside your heart might be the sort of thing you want to write your top 100 song about. About Paquito Mas and Taco Bell? Yeah, you get these two chains. Loving babies. Nick, maybe you were thinking I was sour today.

Maybe the sourness was about the sour cream. It was about how I was today maybe this is maybe the sourness was about the sour cream it was about right it was about how i was upset about uh about this matchup and how i'm gonna have to eliminate one of my two favorites because you set this up in this way so that it would happen was chipotle in this tournament i saw the breakdown chipotle was chipotle is now as of this recording is in the losers bracket it's down it's down who did it lose to? Chipotle lost to Qdoba. Yeah, that was... I never heard of Qdoba. Yeah, Qdoba is a chain like Moe's that's pretty

well known. I didn't know Moe's very well. It's owned by Qbert. Oh yeah, the square burrito. You have to jump around on it. Yeah, it's too much work. Yeah, the menu's just like asterisks and question marks. It's like just a bunch of gibberish Winged Game characters. Slick is chasing you around.

Coil wants in on the action. Josh Gaddis. Slick is one of the little green blobs that gets in. I didn't know you knew the names of them. There's a lot you don't know about me. Wait, who's the... I think you're an undercover gamer. This guy knows Q-Bert like the back of his hand.

Josh Gaddis is always going in there checking on his spouse now that I do not get you should see the check out pixels you should check out the movie pixels oh okay okay okay Gad fucks Qbert and pixels

so and has Qbert babies yeah yeah so Chipotle as you'll remember my first time on the show was Chipotle

and that was that's one of my faves. Very early on. We all raved about it. We had a wonderful experience. And Chipotle has, I think, declined a little bit since those heady days in 2015 when we first reviewed it. YouSong's not here, but I'd love to get the archives out and see what I ranked them. I think it's probably high.

Wasn't it the Golden Plate Club? I think it was the inaugural member of the Platinum Plate Club. Wow. We gave it five forks? That's how high we were on Chipotle. I don't think I was involved in the first like that. I think you might have been. We have to revisit, man. It was very...

The early Doughboys, it's like season one Simpsons, where our dynamic's a little different. It's a little bit more muted. We're kind of talking a little bit more quietly. I think the Platinum Plate Club would not be the sort of thing that would have the same sort of splendor that it has now. Yeah, okay. I see what you're saying.

Oh, boy. I'm going to give Chipotle five forks, boy. I thought the chips were shawty. Hey, Homer. Hey, Marge. Did Lisa do her homework? Is that Moe? Yeah, Moe

was always just like checking in on their homework. Yeah, just asking domestic questions. Hey, Scorpion, what are you doing here? You don't show up until season six! Yeah, that was a weird plot point in season one Simpsons. Yeah, this is weird.

I'm here too. Me, Peter Griffin. Oh, no. Wait, that's where McFarlane got the idea. He said, I won't put my famous, soon-to-be-famous Peter Griffin in The Simpsons. I'll do my own show. Cameron and I, you know, we used to bond over. We would watch Family, the first three seasons. What, in college?

In college, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd hang out together. There was a Taco Bell there. Did we ever get Taco Bell? I don't know. I think you're thinking of somebody else. Oh, yeah.

You're thinking of Dutton. Oh, hell yeah. And if you're not thinking about somebody else, I made some big mistakes. Do you know my Dutton story? The first time I met Dutton, you'll like this, Nick. I was in an editing suite at Ithaca College. Very cool. And I had shot a film.

I shot a short film on a Bolex camera. You had to have talked about this on the... Yeah, and I don't know if I did talk about this. Maybe I did. And Dutton was in there, and I was like... And I had never really talked to Dutton before. Yeah. And I was like, hey, hey, can you help me out?

I have a film project due tomorrow. He's like, yeah, what's up? And I was like, how do you edit talked to Dutton before. Yeah. And I was like, hey, hey, can you help me out? Like, I have a film project due tomorrow. He's like, yeah, what's up? And I was like, how do you edit? And Dutton walked me through how to edit. I had like, I had like either slept through or gotten drunk and slept through or just lazily skipped the class on like howily skipped the two classes on how you edit. Yeah, you don't have to explain to us how you were unprepared.

We can piece that together. And I made a great film, Hamford's Saw. Yeah, I've seen it. It was a good movie. Hamford made a great film. Yeah, it was a great film. Great piece of cinematic history. Was that up for any awards? No, I guess it wasn't. Great piece of cinematic history. Was that up for any awards?

No, I guess it wasn't. Oscar? Should have been. Oscar? No, it wasn't. It was up for an Oscar of the grouchy. Throw it in the garbage. Oh, boy.

That's what they should call the Razzies, the grouchies. That's pretty good. And that's not written material. I did not write that out. I have other stuff I want to get to. Valanche, didn't you write that for you? I did not write that out. I have other stuff I want to get to. Valanche didn't write that for you? I did work. I'm not like these fucking bullshit people who got their kids into college.

I got in on my fucking own merit, Nick. Yeah, I know. You accused me of this earlier today. We were having fun. Oh, we were? We're just cracking wise. We're just like giving each other, we're ribbing each other. Then all the Doughboy's truthers are going to think that's real.

Just like, look, if you're running the Doughboys Wikipedia, include a note that Mitch got into college on his own merits. Is there a Doughboys Wikipedia? Nick, tell everyone you think I'm smart and funny. I think you are smart and funny. More, let's hear more. You're an extremely funny man. I think you are smart and funny more let's hear more you're a very you're an extremely funny man i think you're smart i think you you maybe sometimes are a little oh fuck you

it wasn't let me say this i'm not trying to say this is a backhanded compliment i think you sometimes maybe i i think in the context of something like this you'll maybe play up your doofusy tendencies and you're conscious of doing that, but also at times you're also unconscious of that, which is like in your show Mitch Live, where you really are like kind of like unprepared and you kind of are, it is disarming how just like earnest you can be. You know what I mean?

Like, I think you are a smart man. I don't think you're an idiot. Mitch knows where the laughs come from, okay? Behind closed doors, he is an astute... Yeah, it's very calculated. Very smart cinephile.

But when he steps out of the house, he's got to put on the Mitch mask. Yeah, you know, it's a real face. No, the metaphorical masks we all wear. We're here in his apartment, and the mics are off, and he's like, hmm, I just read a new nonfiction anthology. And the mics come on, and it's do, do, do.

I think my cat was bouncing around the dick. Is that a lie? Did you make that up just to have something to say? That is true. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I should have helped you out there. No, it's all right.

I've been on improv teams with you before. I should know to expect. That's not real. That's not real. I'm kidding. Now people are going to think I'm bad at improv. Oh, God. Very generous improviser.

Well, Nick, I've wasted my life at improv like you have for the last decade. I might as well pretend I'm good at it. What else am I going to do? Should we do an Herald opening right now? Should we do an invocation? Our suggestion is Tortilla.

Oh, God. I can't believe that I asked you to say I'm smart and funny and then, of course, you made me look like a fucking dope once again. You're smart and funny. You absolutely are a smart funny guy you're you're undeniably a funny guy this doesn't mean we get to the tacos i'm not chiming in on that this doesn't mean much coming from a dumb shit like you see what the why'd you have to do that what if i just if you you know we're sort of hovered over our microphones looking at just take a kind of look back and look at what it's a what Wednesday afternoon. That's right.

Weigert's pouring his heart out. It's just a funny situation. We ate tacos and burritos. It's an interesting what the world of media is these days. It's just very interesting. I got it. I know what we're upset about. Every time Susser visits the damn show, this always happens.

Yeah, we get riled up. It's Susser's fault. Yeah, it's definitely his fault. He had a cool outfit on today. Yeah, he looked great. All black. He had a Fist Fight sweatshirt on. I liked that.

Yeah, it looked very cool. Your song looks great, too. He was all gussied up for his charity event. Jesus. He did look great. Everyone looks great. Was he wearing a suit?ussied up for his charity event. Jesus. He did look great. Everyone looks great. He was wearing a suit. Yeah, he was wearing a suit.

I'm not in a sour mood. I'm like a Sour Patch Kid. I got a sweet side right under that sour. Right. That's right. I'm nice to people, Nick. I go out and have drinks with people, for God's sakes. All right.

Let's get back into it. Yeah. So, Pocino Mas. We'll start there. Here's what I got. I got the Tilapia fish tacos. I just got one of them, which is a corn tortilla with a Corona-battered tilapia, onion, cilantro, cabbage, and a red bell pepper sour cream, which is like this sort of creamy sauce they

drizzle on top of it. And I also got the shrimp burrito San Felipeipe which is pan seared shrimp with melted jack cheese rice cilantro onion fresh salsa and fresh guacamole chips and salsa i use the salsa verde the green one and the roja which is the spiciest red one the one that uh that micah insulted me about uh in a in a in a fun way um what do you say it tasted like battery acid. It tasted like batteries. Batteries. Okay, got it. That's good. Metallica track? Metallica's Battery? Yeah. Man, that's a great album, Master of Puppets.

Yeah, you're a big Metallica fan. I think I'd say, I think if I'd rank the kind of the core four, I think I would go... Bands or albums? Albums. Okay. I would say, would i think i think honestly my favorite my favorite is and justice for all and then i'd go you're doing four metallic albums yeah then i maybe go ride the lightning master of puppets and kill them all if you want to include the black album in there which which uh some people do some people don't

but i i think like kind of like their their peak is kind of like that run i i would say the black album would maybe slot in third or fourth there i like a little bit more the black album put them on the map is that it is that was their breakthrough hit a bunch of like videos in that one that was the one with yeah enter sandman um and uh nothing else matters uh yeah don't tread on me whole bunch of whole bunch of radio hits on that one right right right um i like uh i think it's called The One. Oh, One is great. Yeah, that's one of the tracks on.

Darkness imprisoning me. And justice for all that I see. What about Whiskey in a Jar? I know it's a cover, but boy, it's good. I like Whiskey in a Jar. I do like it. You like Metallica, right? Oh, maybe.

Thin Lizzy, I think, was. Because they did a cover out. I think Whiskey in a Jar is an old Irish... Ah, maybe Thin Lizzy did it as well. Maybe not even Thin Lizzy. Fat Lizzy, some Doughboy's insult Mitch thing later on this month. Why wouldn't they just say... I'm not going to say it.

Say it. Fat Mitchie. Hey, you asked for it. I'll say the tilapia fish taco. I've had a lot of breaded fish tacos. And I went seafood with this Poquito Mas visit because that's their bread and butter. That's what they were founded on. The whole concept is based around seafood-based tacos and burritos.

Poquito Mas? Poquito Mas, yeah. What? That's recorded. If you look at their menu, like the land-based proteins are almost like just like an add-on. They're like an appendix. I've never felt this way ever.

At the top of the menu, if you look at everything that has some sort of detailed, like sort of elaborate description to it, it's all the seafood items. I've never felt this way ever. Yeah, but it's how the place, it's its origin. It's all the seafood items. I've never felt this way ever. Yeah, but it's how the place, it's its origin. It's how it was founded.

As a seafood place? Yeah, it's coming from the Baja California sort of approach to food. Or kind of food that's popular there. So I went seafood. The tilapia fish taco,

again, I mentioned, I've had a lot of breaded fish tacos. This one I think was pretty disappointing. And I think the I don't, you know, I expect them to have good product. I think the tilapia is probably a good piece of fish, but it tasted kind of, it didn't taste great. It tasted

kind of like dingy and dirty. And like it had kind of been I don't know if it was like an old piece or just a bad piece or what, but it wasn't a great piece of tilapia. The breading was not as crisp as I would have liked. And the red bell pepper sour cream I thought just kind of under-delivered. Like as those cremas go, those sort of creamy sauces, like give me the one at Rubio's any day.

I think it's just a much better execution. That said, the shrimp burrito San Felipe was delicious. And the texture of the pan-seared shrimp was so great. It works, you know, you're mixing seafood and dairy. A lot of times it doesn't work, but here with the jack cheese, it just, it absolutely clicked. Right amount of, right proportion of rice

and guac in there. Just every bite was delightful. Great, great texture on that tortilla that was crisped up on the flat top grill. The shrimp burrito San Felipe was one of the best things I've eaten this month. Absolutely delicious. And the chips and salsa

I've set my pizza on. A hand for your poquitomasa. Have you seen that movie Crema vs. Crema? About those two burrito sauces that are fighting over the custody of their human child? Yeah, I have seen that.

Yeah, it sucks. I thought it sucked. Well, you know what the issue is is that it's very similar to Kramer vs. Kramer, which is a much better movie. As soon as you, like, from the opening scene, you're like, oh, this is just, what? You're like, yeah, is this like a parody version of it? I mean, a lawyer would have a field day here.

Right. Yeah. First of all, I need to go back to the Fat Mitchie thing. I take that back. Wow. That was bad. You know, sometimes I'm having fun here, but sometimes I forget there's people listening,

and that's not fun. Oh, thank you, Hanford. Fun's fun, but that's not me. Wow. Yeah. Hmm, Nick? I'd also like to go back to that comment that Hanford made and say that I said it.

No, I've been called out for body shaming you. And I apologize for doing that. Yeah, it is problematic. And I should do it less. You know, I thought we were talking about my order. Yes. I'm kidding. Finish your thought.

No, don't let him finish his thought. He's done. Wait, what was I going to say? I have more to say about Metallica's discography. Can they dryly break down their albums a little bit more? I thought there was going to be another Kramer vs. Kramer joke. Nope. Hammett vs. Hammett.

I'm referring, of course, to Kirk Hammett, lead guitarist. Lead guitarist? Rhythm. Yeah, he was lead guitarist. I hope that they come out with Newman vs. Newman. Yeah, Kramer, that would be a good Kramer vs. Kramer. It would be a good documentary about casting Kramer.

Down to the last two guys here in Hollywood. Alright, here we go on. I had, do you have written down what I got, Nick? I've got it in my phone somewhere. You texted it to me, so I will bring it up. Oh, I got it right here. So, a poquito más, I got the shrimp taco San Lucas. And for the burrito, I got the chili...

I think I spelled this wrong. Chili pasilla? Chili pasilla burrito? Yeah, pasilla, yeah. Yeah. Now, I like them both. I had never gotten these items before. I usually just get the, like I said before, the plates or just a chicken taco or steak taco or burrito.

Excuse me. Right into the microphone. This was the shrimp was good. It was like a shrimp, something like very spicy shrimp with just some cheese on it. What cheese do you think that would be? It's just a jack cheese, I think. Oh, it might be a cotija yeah and it was it was really good and it was it was nice and spicy and uh i just put the pico de gallo on top of it which i like there i think they do all their salsas are good but i think that's really good i used to be a big

fan of the brown salsa which i forget what that's called excuse me me. I'm telling you, it's just dry. Do you want to do another beverage? Can I get you something to drink? Yeah, I'll take another one of these. Okay, I'm going to go try to get one of those Langers. Thanks. I'll still speak to your microphone as if you're sitting here. Okay, great.

Okay. I can't do it. I can't pretend like he's here. I thought it was good. It was, like I said, yeah, spicy. Now, the burrito was, it had some rice in it, these peppers, which were really good. It kind of had some heat to it, some beans.

I went with the chicken. And it was, I did salsa-less on this because I wanted to get just the taste of it. It was not huge for me. I thought it could have used like a cream in there or a, boy, more cheese or something. Or cheese at all. I don't think there was cheese at all in it.

It just kind of was like, yeah, I'm eating this thing. Right. Got it. Damn. See you tomorrow. That's a bummer. Mitch, your Poketo experience. Thank you for the drink.

Of course. Well, I went with the Quincy boys. Hell yeah. Scoop, Robot Micbot, Micus. They were the only ones left at this point. So people were just gradually leaving? Yeah, the other ones dragged themselves to death. Today's Micus's birthday.

Oh, happy birthday, Micus. And the day we went was Chankton's birthday. Whoa. He was gone, though. We were at E Rustic eating wings, he and he was like i got my flight he changed as a weird voice and we're like when is when is the flight it was like his flight he was sitting at e rustic eating wings and his flight was like like 50 minutes away jesus christ in burbank but still it was insane yeah that's that's that's crazy i would never think of leaving for

the airport some people fear the airport and some people treat it like, I'm just getting in my car and getting out of here. Yeah, I know. I'll never be stopped for anything. There wasn't a line last time, so there won't be a line this time. Hey, seasons don't fear the airport. Oh, God. I'm so pissed I did that.

You're not the only one. So the boys and I were all there together hanging out. And I got myself a steak burrito. I got a chicken burrito last time. Classic stuff over there. The classic style, not the potato burrito, the full on classic steak burrito. It was great. Yes. I don't normally get the steak burrito, the full on classic steak burrito. It was great. Yes.

I don't normally get the steak burrito. I'll get the chicken burrito just because you shouldn't eat. I try not to eat red meat, try to get chicken instead. I mean, I shouldn't be eating burritos anyways, but man, that burrito is fucking. It's great. Their burritos are great. Their burritos are great. Sometimes it is a place where the quality goes up and down, but it's because it's a fresh place.

Yes, I was just there with a chicken burrito and it was like loose. Does that make sense? It was like fold this thing tighter. It was all fall apart. It can happen. I'd say, although I think they have like it's like 90% hit rate. There's a 10% like one out of 10 times you're going to go and you're going to get like the burrito isn't as good.

The meat isn't as like not bad rat. It that happens sometimes just get a whole rat there it's not it's not bad but even it's a funny thing because like even the salsas can be like you go in there but this salsa is fucking fantastic and then you go in there another time you're like oh they didn't they didn't make the salsa as well this time like it could be watery or whatever but yeah but it just is a place where they are making everything they make the tortillas well this time. It can be watery or whatever, but it just is a place where they are making everything. They make the tortillas. They make everything. So you appreciate that. And it's just

such a good burrito. I mean, I'm not giving anything away, but it's one of the best burritos, one of the best chain, in quotes, burritos that you can get. I mean, it is a chain. For my taco, I did a ahi fish taco, which was nice. You know what?

We all went with a seafood taco. We all went with a seafood taco. Yeah. Good for us. The last time, Nick, when we went with Dan Gore to Paquito. Ah, yes. We got the shrimp taco, and it was not great was it was not great this and and and so i went for another seafood taco i wanted to try a fish taco there it comes with like a little thing

of like salad and or like lettuce i'm sorry lettuce and like pico de gallo on top of the lettuce i noticed that little garnish is weird that it comes yours had it too hanford it's like a little it's almost like a side salad but i think it's like fixings that you could throw on your it's almost like that you go to sometimes you think it's like fixings that you could throw on your... It's almost like sometimes you go to a diner and they give you lettuce and tomato and onion on the side of your burger. It's kind of like that sort of situation. And I put some of the pico de gallo on there and I squeezed some lime onto the ahi tuna fish taco. And there's kind of like a cabbage in there and then this chipotle sauce on sauce yes on top of it it was good it was good it was a good it was a good taco it's better

their tacos i i mean like it is a place that has good protein but i always just tell people to get burritos when they go there their tacos are good but it's not like i'm gonna go there to get a taco they they come on corn tortillas i think default, but you can order flour tortillas, I believe. Some of them, I think, do come on flour tortillas. I think maybe the ahi, I got to take a look at it, actually. Yeah, but either way, they're freshly made. I like their corn tortillas. I think they're good quality.

I just think, give me a second corn tortilla underneath there. They give you just the one tortilla, and I like that taqueriaia style backup corn tortilla for shopping purposes. This was on a flour tortilla by the way. And people got mad at me. I like corn tortillas too. I like flour tortillas better. They got mad at you? Stop reading the subreddit.

I know. I gotta stop reading. Nick, you're right. I need to stop reading. Well, that wasn't what I was driving towards. This year, no more reading. Alright, you know what? If this accomplishes you getting less riled up about online comments, then fine. No reading. But this was good. The fish was cooked a little.

It was a little overcooked, but I'd rather that than the option. So it wasn't really falling apart or moist as much as I'd want it to be. But it was still a tasty taco. They did a better job than they usually do i i don't i think that the protein here is good but the tacos are very basic yes and i think if you get like a mini steak taco or mini chicken taco with your burrito or something like that i think it's i think it's worth it but i don't think their tacos are like out of this world yeah for a place that that you know does fresh make their tortillas it would be nice if

their if their tacos were a little bit better. But I think just their quesadillas, their burritos, their plates, like Hanford mentioned, are just a little bit better all around. And to get my complete review out there, I also had a Pepsi from the Soda Fountain, and I also did chips and salsa as well. Again, drinks are in the Gatorade jug on the sidelines.

But also, Hanford, you can say chips. Well, we'll get to it in a minute. Yes. So Taco Bell. I got one seasonal item and one item that's a little bit more of an established part of their menu at this point. Wow. I got the Steak Rattlesnake Fries Burrito. Wow.

This is like a California-style burrito. I almost got this. Seasoned fries, nacho cheese sauce, steak, spicy creamy jalapeno sauce, and sliced jalapenos rolled up in a flour tortilla. Fuck, I want it bad. It was good. It was very good. What I'll say is that I would have liked just cheese over that nacho cheese sauce.

I think it sort of gave it like this, you know, the gooeyness was nice. The moisture was nice. You're a gooey guy. I'm a gooey guy. Gooey, gooey, so soft and nice. You're a gooey guy. I'm a gooey guy. Gooey, gooey, so soft and chewy. That's how I like it. Gross. You mean the cheese instead of.

I would have liked, in lieu of this nacho cheese sauce, I would have liked just shredded cheese. I thought you meant over, on top of the nacho cheese. Oh boy, that would have been excessive. Cheese on top of cheese? Yeah. No, I'm not talking about some sort of dare food I'm talking about.

This just like having a different execution. It's one of those ones that purports to be spicy. It isn't actually spicy. Like I had to throw some of that Diablo sauce and that fire sauce on there. Also, you talked about the flavor of the salsa roja at Paquito Mas or Micah's did. I don't love the flavor of the Diablo sauce, even though it's their spiciest one. I think the fire sauce has better flavor. Fire sauce is,

I now do mild. Yeah. I like mild, but their fire is good. Their fire is great. Fire is great. Which Hanford, we'll get to you in a second,

but you have some thoughts on the packets, I know. Yeah, I want to discuss the packets. Okay, Jack Allison. Want to talk about packets? You're going to call out samantha b on twitter uh so uh the uh yeah the uh the i i love that steak right i i liked it a lot i just thought

that the nacho cheese was kind of like an element that didn't really work as well the fries were actually nice in there um the steak seemed decent quality the tortilla you know the taco bell tortillas are are not great uh but it got the job done and this stayed well composed it was a good portion the i also got the fire dorito doritos loco fuck fiery doritos locos taco supreme those words are all all plural so it's a little uh natural for me to say if you say it properly um seasoned ground beef cheese lettuce tomato reduced fat sour cream and a fiery doritos shell this is fucking delicious i mean i just love it so much it's so so so good uh just the the the crispness of the shell um the flavor of the uh that that fiery doritos

uh powder that's on there the sour cream helps a lot just in terms of just giving this like like some nice smoothness to tie it all together i've never done the fire one before it's fucking great i loved it i thought it was absolutely delicious just just a home run um hanford your taco bell experience wow the the i saw the fire dorito on the menu and online when i was texting mitch to pick it up for me i saw pictures of this thing and it looked insane it's fucking it's like a neon yeah yeah it's bright. It's like a neon red. Yeah. It's bright red. It's like candy apple red. And I love those flavors, like chips or whatever. Yeah. But yeah, that thing was shocking.

I got the... Let me find it on my notes. Do you like spicy foods? Do you have something of a heat seeker? I do, yeah. I like spicy food. I won't go... If it's like a wing place or something, I'm not going to go suicide or something.

Because I still want to enjoy it. Hanford, I can tell can tell you what you got no are you looking for the taco or yeah i got it right here okay uh crunchy taco supreme pretty average uh my usually my go-to there is like the whatever the cheapest taco is yeah and just load it up on with hot sauce it's funny the cheapest taco taco bell i know it like 70 cents. But I'll get like a lot of them and that's enough. Because I think that food to me, when I've gone off the simple menu, it's all just variations on the classic thing. I got you. I don't know.

And the thing is, I like the salsa the best. Sorry, the hot sauce isn't salsa. The hot sauce is the best of anything. You don't like mild. I like mild. I like hot. Probably more. But that's pretty classic. I wanted to step it up a little bit and just do the supreme.

It's not worth it, I don't think. You didn't think the sour cream was worth the upgrade? The sour cream and the tomato is like doesn't need to be there. I'll tell you, I love that Taco Bell sour cream so much. I like it a lot. It's just very smooth. Oh, I'll tell you, I love that Taco Bell sour cream so much. Yeah, I like it a lot. It's just very smooth. Oh, I do too.

And I thought it was great. And I got my burritos the same way Nick got. I like that too. And for my burrito, I got a... Beefy. Beefy Fritos burrito. And that was good. I never had that before.

The Fritos inside, they're not necessary. They don't need to be there. The rice in there was good, but the Frito was just like, no, that's my lawnmower outside. You brought your lawnmower and you started running?

It's like, yeah, it's like a Roomba lawnmower. Oh, okay. It's the whole neighborhood. Oh, God. Seems dangerous. I mean, it's nice of you. Seems lawnmower. Oh, okay. It's in the whole neighborhood. Oh, God. Seems dangerous. I mean, it's nice of you. Seems very dangerous.

Yeah, it is. This bladed robot roaming in the neighborhood where children are playing. So, yeah, the Frito Burrito was good. It's funny that the... Good enough. You found the Fritos unnecessary when that sounds like the whole reason for its existence. Right. I wanted to try something a little different over there.

But... Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh wanted to try something a little different over there. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's getting right out the door. You must have some long grass on your door. Yeah. You've been growing hay out there. That's right there.

This is really loud. This guy's right on top of us. I think... I thought the hot sauce was too hot. Okay. I think he doesn't like the sauce was too hot. Okay. I think he doesn't like the podcast and wants to... He wants no one to hear it. He's doing a service.

Wait, were you done? I don't know. Am I done or are we continuing to talk about these? Do you want to talk about those packets? Oh, the hot sauce packets. I don't like these little messages on them. You've probably talked about this when you did this, but it's a secret.

Makes me happy. Yeah. First of all, dot, dot, dot. What is this? They're just having fun. Let's go on an adventure. I get that. Did you take a picture of my packets?

Did they have any fun? I didn't take a picture of my packets. I don't remember what they were. I did order the kiosk in store, which was a lot of fun. I did that at McDonald's the other day. Yeah. McDonald's, I was going to text you guys a picture of it, but um forgot but a uh the donut sticks have you had those at mcdonald's donut sticks oh yeah try them out i don't think they're at every mcdonald's they're good wow they're kind

of like churros oh by the way i also ordered a chips and salsa from a taco bell and i thought it was fine oh interesting like i don't love their the salsa they give you i would have rather had that nacho cheese yeah the nacho cheese is give you. I would have rather had that nacho cheese. Yeah, the nacho cheese is good there. The nacho cheese is that nacho cheese that's like fake and you love it because it's fake. It's good and I do love it and I'm surprised it didn't work better in that steak burrito.

Mitch, you're a Taco Bell order. I went to the Universal City Walk Taco Bell. I mean, wait, City Walk? Wait, yes, no. I went to the Universal City Walk. There's a restaurant called City Walk. I got confused. I went to the Universal CityWalk Taco Bell. I mean, wait, CityWalk? Wait, yes, no. I went to the Universal CityWalk. There's a restaurant called CityWalk. I got confused.

I went to the Universal CityWalk Taco Bell. I did. W-A-L-K versus W-O-K. I did. I went to the Universal CityWalk Taco Bell. You were there? There's a CityWalk next to Taco Bell, too, which makes it confusing.

I just got confused by myself. There's a CityWalk at CityWalk? There's a CityWalk next to CityW too, which makes it confusing. I just got confused by myself. There's a CityWalk at CityWalk? There's a CityWalk next to CityWalk. Hanford knows this. Yeah. It's not within the CityWalk. I don't think it is within CityWalk. It's down on Kalinga.

Yeah. It's like an Abbott and Costello routine. I thought we were meeting at CityWalk. I'm at CityWalk. I said CityWalk. I'm right there. The golden age of comedy. I brought some of the Quincy guys to City Walk.

This was like a hungover day before we went to the Celtics game, who got stomped by the Clippers, by the way, which was a bummer. Clippers looking good. You know what? I know they're looking good. God. We got a suite and there were people in our seat and there was a group of people who had standing room only sitting in our

seats wow and we never and the quincy guys didn't care they just sat in the back i want to throw them out so you had people invading your suite yeah that you paid there was different people in the suite yeah and they just went in there it's a fucking clippers game huh that wouldn't have that shit wouldn't happen at a lakers game. Am I right, Wags? I mean, I can't imagine being able to afford a suite at a Lakers game. Oh, yeah, that too. But your Quincy guys, these are rough knicks. These are rough and tumble guys.

They didn't want to start a... You would think they'd want any excuse to start a fight with some strangers. They're good guys. Okay. No, they're not evil people who start fights all the time. I didn't think they were evil. I'm just saying they're like Good Will Hunting guys. Come to think of it, Micah's did throw one out of the suite.

Okay, all right. The wrong way. It's the window way. Anyways. And Blake Riffin is dribbling a six-foot man. Oh, that was difficult to get out. Blake Riffin doesn't play there anymore. He's on the Detroit Pistons.

I know. Been there for some time. We were at City Walk. Not a great place to even bring people, so I apologize to the Quincy guys. We were out of things to do. City Walk, I was saying this to you earlier, but I'll share it with the fans, the listeners.

Not all fans. It's a fun place to go if the person knows this isn't a tourist destination. This is just a mall outside. And there's a King Kong there. Yeah, that's fine. Shut up and look at it. It's a bubble gump. What are you going to say?

The people confuse me with the King Kong? No, I wasn't. But I like that. And I agree with it. We went to... I was at the City Walk Taco Bell. We had eaten Guasados earlier in the day. So the guys were pretty much... Oh, the bar is high.

They were pretty grossed out that I actually was having anything else to eat. Great local Mexican taco shop. Yeah. It's delightful. It's one of the best. So I got myself Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco Supreme. And I also got myself something I've never got before, Nick. Never ordered this at Taco Bell ever.

A cheesy bean and rice burrito. No meat. No meat. Interesting. ever ever uh a cheesy bean and rice burrito no meat no meat interesting because people are saying hey mitch you know you love taco bell you're going to loaded um so i went with something i never had before no meat in this thing i bite into i'm nervous because this is i'm at the city walk taco bell yes could be bad Yes. The service was great. The guys there were super helpful and nice. I get over to the... I put it on the table. The Quincy guys are ready to go.

And I open it up. I take a bite into this thing. It was fucking perfect. Wow. They really... It was hot. It was like if Taco Bell... If the company was there, if this was like Taco was like if they were doing if they if like taco bell if the company

was there if this is like taco bell headquarters and they wanted to and they were testing these things it was like perfectly done uh kuran's doritos locos taco supreme it was like just knocked it out of the park wow so i was like i took a bite of it i was like this is so fucking good and the quincy guys were like what like why are you acting this way over taco bell and i was like it really was so good. They really fucking nailed it. And then I took a bite of that cheesy bean and rice burrito, and it was also fucking awesome. I've never had it before.

It was fucking great. They do a good bean and cheese there. A meatless option. I had some mild packets. I tossed some mild sauce on there. It was really fantastic. I mean, look, if Taco Bell also knocks it out of the park, which they do a lot of the time,

if your food is hot and fresh, too, and it's just firing on all cylinders, it was, I mean, different from Guasados, obviously. This is the other spectrum, the end of the spectrum away from Guasados, but is the other spectrum the end of the spectrum away from Guasados but just fantastic Nick yes it was great yeah I I I I don't know what to say because I also think that Taco Bell's I think their burritos are like I do a lot of like the like the um the beefy nacho burrito and then what what is it called not the the not chicken not the

rollers oh help me out here. Like the one that has like the Chipotle chicken loaded griller or something. I think that's what it is. I think they're called loaded grillers. But their burrito game is like okay. Like the quesarito or whatever is fine. I like am always up and down on their burritos. I like their other stuff more, I feel like.

Well, I think a big part of that is that that flour tortilla is not great. And that can be a detriment to those burritos. I like their other stuff more, I feel like. Well, I think a big part of that is that that flour tortilla is not great, and that can be a detriment to those burritos, but they do a very solid bean and cheese there. Yep. Anyways, it was fantastic. In full transparency, it could be completely transparent, Hanford, when I picked up your thing today, I got myself a Diet Mountain Dew and also got myself a, what is it called? A cheesy roll-up? Yes.

Which I never had before i haven't eaten today is the issue and and that was fantastic too it was really great i never had the cheesy roll-up i thought you were gonna tell me my food had been fallen thrown in the floor no no no no no it was delivered by me it was fresh uh but uh the cheesy roll-up was great too nick so uh so this is this is this is cheesy rollup. That is what it's called, yes. This is tough. This is a... It's tough. My heart's going to be broken no matter what.

It's a real Sophie's Choice here. Now, let me ask you something. Yes. Are we going based on just what we got this time? Yes. Wow. Yeah, that's how we're judging it. Wow.

And the way our judging system is... Sophie's Choice is nothing compared to what we're going to do right the way our judging system is... Sophie's choice is nothing compared to what we're going to do right now. This is definitely worse than Sophie's choice. Salsa's choice. This is a real salsa's choice. Right. Where the salsa chooses you.

Well, we're going to choose one of these to win, and it's going to be progressing in the tournament. The other will go down to the loser's bracket in Fat Chance Kitchen, where we'll have a chance to possibly reemerge in the finale. We are judging from zero to ten ref stripes. White stripes are tacos.

Black stripes are burritos. That's right. So zero to five in each category for a total of ten. If you get all ten, it's a perfect shirt. And Hanford. So, yeah, we'll go through and give us your taco and burrito rating for each chain. Your ref stripe rating for each chain. We'll start with

Bukitomas and then talk about Taco Bell. Okay. So each taco is worth five points? Yeah, a maximum of five. Got it. Okay.

All right. Let me do... For the taco at Paquito Mas. Yes. I want to do three. Three white stripes. Yeah. And how many stripes for that burrito? Hmm.

Two. So three white stripes, two black stripes. Wow. Only five stripes. Oh, no. For Taco Bell. For Taco Bell. Okay.

For Taco Bell, I want to do for my burrito, I'm going to do, well, I want Taco Bell to win, so I'm going to give that one four. Four white stripes, okay. Hold on, we announced the winner at the end. Well, yeah, I know, but I want this thing to, and the taco, I'll give that four, too. Wow, four for both of them.

Only two stripes off of a perfect shirt. A very good showing from Taco Bell for Mike Hanford. Mike Mitchell. Do you want me to go? I'll go. I'll let you. These are your babies. These are your two babies.

Mitch has got all of his credit cards out right now. Mitch is doing some sort of financial transaction while we're recording. They're all there. They're all there. I've learned not to inquire. I'm doing something for the damn show, for God's sakes. Poquito Mas. Taco was underwhelming.

It's still good. It's still good quality, but I just didn't love how all the components came together. And again, maybe not the best piece of fish for this individual outing. Two and a half white stripes. That burrito was delicious. It's so, so good. Five black stripes. It was great.

It was awesome. The Taco Bell tacos, I will say, that Fiery Jiro's Locos taco, it was so fucking good. I loved it. Four and a half white stripes. Wow. The burrito, also good. Not quite as good. Wow.

The burrito, also good, not quite as good. I'm going to say two. You know what? I was maybe a little too kind to it in my evaluation because, honestly, I don't know if it's a thing I'd get again. So I'm going to just say two black stripes for that burrito. Mike Mitchell. Okay. For Paquito Mas.

Yes. I'll do taco first. I'm going to give them. This is hard. Three and a quarter white stripes. Wow. The meat is still really good. Burrito.

Five black stripes. A hundred percent. Wow. I love it. Taco Bell. Oh. Tacos. For the white stripes.

Five white stripes. Wow. Nick. Does a cheesy gordita crunch count for the future of the tournament? I need to know. You mean under the taco component? Yes. I think you have to allow some flexibility with Taco Bell because they're doing different things.

Wow. So, yes, I think that qualifies. I mean, we can get official ruling from... Do you want to get Susser back here? Yeah, can we call him back to the house? Actually, you can... We'll check with Susser. We'll check with Susser.

My feeling is that, yes, it is allowed. Burrito. Damn. The burrito was really good, but I think that I think Paquito has them beat on burritos. I'm going to go for black stripes. Wow. But close to a full shirt, Nick. I mean, you wouldn't even notice with this shirt on the Taco Bell hat.

I mean, truly for both of them, Chipotle too. This looks like you're wearing a full shirt. You'd think it was a regular ref just out there. You'd have to wait for them to spin around, and maybe you'd notice that detail that one stripe was missing. Now, Nick. Yes. The Golden Whistle, which is awarded to the place with the better tortilla chips

and salsa options and sauce options. Paquito Mas wins my Golden Whistle as well. Yeah, it's easy. Paquito Moss wins my golden whistle as well. Yeah, it's easy. Paquito Moss. This one's a no brainer. It's not that easy, Nick. I think the sauce is better over at the Bell. Wow.

You're counting the hot sauce packets. The hot sauce packets, which, by the way, what we know about them so far is that you don't like them. No, no, no. Then I did not make myself clear. I hate the packaging. I love what's inside. Got it.

Not unlike the two of you. I got to say with with Bikino Mas. Yes. That Asada talk, the Asada salsa, which which is the brownish salsa is so good it's one of my favorite salsas which is like like a steak salsa yes it's just such a good salsa yeah i use it just for the chips it's fantastic and the um the uh what's it called verde the salsa verde green salsa green their green salsa is is really great And then a couple of the red ones are great, too. Their pico de gallo, too, is just good.

It's a Golden Whistle winner, no doubt. Yeah, that's an easy one for me. Is that enough? I don't know. Honestly, we're going to find out. We have to think of the Golden Whistle as separate and as its own thing. But yes, they definitely win that side tournament. But now it's our time to decide which of these will progress to possibly be fed to Bruce

Valanche so that he can spice up the host copy on the award show he is writing for. And which one is possibly going to go down to Bruce the Shark from Jaws. Yeah, we're going to find out right now. Fed to him out of Dennis Leary's smoky hands. He loves smoking cigarettes, Nick. Yeah, he does love smoking cigarettes. From the ref. He's an asshole.

Self-proclaimed. Self-proclaimed. That's his whole thing. That's his thing. I would not call anyone that. Should we count down from three? Yeah, we'll count down from three and say, are we saying the loser?

I forget what we do. We're saying the loser. We're saying the loser. Or now that we have a winning place, we can say the winner. Am I doing that? Am I yelling anything? Yes, you're saying either Taco Bell or Chocobo or Paquito Mas.

I want to say I can surprise you. I will say this just before we close up the ceremony. Yeah, these are two wildly different Mexican food places, right? That is this is a tough one because what do you want out of your Mexican food? One's a restaurant.

One's a fast food place, I feel. Yes. So that's where I'm coming from. I think, and this was definitely one. But both chains. Both chains. I would say this is definitely one where I'm looking at where it's like, what are we doing here?

Because they're so, like, what are we trying to settle here? Because these are – they're so disparate. One is so – it's so much easier to have good quality product when you're a part of one – you're just located in one city. And you have fewer than 20 locations versus the sprawling global empire. It's so much easier to control for quality when you do that. So I don't know. But yes, which is the ideal? Which one is the better taco and burrito from a chain perspective?

We will declare the winner of this round when we count down from three. In three, two, one. Cuber Bell. Taco Bell. Wow, unanimous. I said Cuber is a joke, but you knew I was going to say Taco Bell. Yeah, I knew you wereuber Bell. Taco Bell. Wow, unanimous. I said Cuber is a joke, but you knew I was going to say Taco Bell. Yeah, I knew you were going to say Taco Bell. My heart is heavy, Nick.

It's tough. I mean, Poquito, but I honestly think, as I'm reflecting on this, and I was starting to get to this as I was monologuing there a second ago, I don't know if Poquito Mas even belongs in this tournament. I think that Susser had a point where maybe we should have included Moe's or Baja Fresh. Paquito Mas, it's great.

And honestly, even that said, they had a very strong showing. And I don't know. I mean, we're just judging a different thing. And I think Taco Bell just is a better winner for this setting, for this circumstance. But anyway, that was... Oh, kind of loading it against old Paquito Mas for the loser's bracket, eh? What are you talking about? I don't like it.

I love Paquito Mas. I like Paquito Mas better than what's in the loser's bracket right now. It's like two basketball teams playing different systems. Yes. Is that about right? One's running the Princeton offense and the other is running the triangle offense. And one's made up of burritos.

And it shouldn't even be in the basketball tournament, but someone's asleep at the wheel. So we've just given Bruce Valanche a bunch of Taco Bell to help spice up his writing for the Joe Boy's finale. Well, not yet. Right? I guess you're right. Yeah.

If it ultimately wins. What are the rules of this? This doesn't make sense anymore. Shut up. We all know it's going to win.

We all know it's winning. Okay. Well, hey, that was this week's Munch Madness, the Tournament of Champions, Mouth of the Porter. Now it's time for a segment.

We've got a beverage. We're going to decide if you should pour it down your throat. It's drank or stank. You song? Yeah. Okay. I'm doing something You song. Yeah. Okay.

I'm doing something. Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Oh, man. Oh. Used to like coffee bean, but it wasn't a match.

Spent my mornings at Dunkin'. Now I look back and laugh. Even almost got married to Pete at at pete's coffee but today i got me some grandes of ariana's lattes all right so this week we have all right these are these are ariana grande so hold on you song well you when you met that minor guy before you did show him that right yeah i showed him this okay you saw you see nick do this you know like every other week or something you see him sing an embarrassing song and embarrass himself in front of everyone and you've decided that you want to do the same thing as nick it's fun this is definitely

definitely making me feel like i've been a negative influence on your life that's like i i you have like a perverse sense of what I'm doing. What a man can become. Play more Zelda. Sing more funny songs. This should not be aspirational. Be more like Mitch. More like Mitch.

More like Mitch. If you want to be more like Mitch, hashtag more like Mitch. On your quibby? There's two variations of this drink. One is caramel and one cinnamon. The person behind the counter recommended the cinnamon, so that's what we have. That's what we're having.

This is Ariana Grande's... What is this? It's her Cloud Macchiato. Yes. It's her official drink at Starbucks. Holy shit. And there's egg whites in here that's in the cloud powder. What the hell?

There's a little bit of lemon. It's wild. I have the cloud powder. There's a little bit of lemon. It's wild. I have the menu description. Bold espresso cascades through light, fluffy layers of foam topped with a drizzle of flavor. Just be aware when we assess this that if we

displease Ariana Grande, she is wont to drag people on Twitter. So we could get dragged, guys. I just took a sip of this. This thing is a fucking stank. Wow. I will say what's...

It's fucking weird as hell. It has like a citrusy quality to it. What is that? Lemon. You can taste lemon. Why does it have lemon in it? It seems... Why not throw everything

in this fucking thing? You give the wrong people the ability to make drinks. It tastes like fruity pebbles almost. It's almost like a lemon meringue. That's what it's trying to do in drink form.

I think that's what it is. And it's got like a bad coffee aftertaste. Yes. A stale coffee aftertaste. It's almost like I would like this in more of a... In a non-coffee context, I think you can make a hot lemon-based beverage work. But it being coffee is strange. It's quite strange. Like boiling lemonade.

Yeah, like a classic hot lemonade. Yeah, like a lemony tea you're talking about. It's kind of... Yes. Makes a little more sense than this. Right. This is odd. This is fucking whack. This is a talking about. It's kind of... Yes. Makes a little more sense than this. Right. This is odd. This is fucking whack.

This is a stank. Yeah. Straight up stank. Stank you next. I know what she's up to. Hell yeah, Amber. Thank you. Yeah.

What else is there to say? I haven't had a coffee in probably about three months. Why is that? I got off it. You cut out caffeine? Yeah, I cut out caffeine. It was too much. How's that working for you?

Fine. It was the first three or four days of headaches, morning headaches, and being like, what? All right, coffee. Were you like a Java addict? Were you like Java Java? You were always trying to get that joke? What the hell? Yeah, I guess you could say that.

It was like that. Wake up and- Did you say Java Java like pizza pizza? Yeah? Yeah, I guess you could say that. It was like that. Wake up and... Did you say Jabba Jabba like Pizza Pizza? Yeah. Jabba Jabba. Is that what that was? There was a Mad TV character. What the hell was he called?

Oh, yeah, right. Mookie's favorite. Yeah, he's our buddy Mookie. Is he Jabba Joe? It's something the... Stan the Coffee Man. Stan the Coffee Man, right. Yeah.

His eyes bugged out of his head because he had too much coffee. Pat Kilbane, by all accounts, a very good actor and a lovely man. Bizarro World Kramer. Yeah, he is Bizarro World Kramer. Yeah, speaking of which, he's Feldman. That's right. Oh, I gotcha.

Yeah, this was, what am I talking about? Yeah, being off coffee. It's fine. It's okay. You get through it and you don't need it. But how much coffee were you having? Oh, I was like three cups a morning.

Wow. Two cups a morning. Just out of like boredom. Yes. I'll do like, I'd say three cups in a day is me. I do two cups in the morning and then I do one and I pick me up in the afternoon and I feel reliant on it. Yeah, yeah. I wake up after coffee's been shut down for the day in most places. Including Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks.

You're famously not a coffee guy. You don't like coffee. I'll drink it every so often, but I don't like it. It gets me anxious. I got you. Stank You Next couldn't have been... You can't say it better than that. Yeah.

I give this a Stank You Next as well. This stinks. Yeah. I also give it a Stank You Next. That was Drink or Stank. Drag us, why don't. Yeah. I also give it a stank you next. That was Drink or Stank. Drag us, why don't you, Ariana? I'm sure she's listening right now and pissed off.

Oh, man. Her and Bill's area and just listening. That was Drink or Stank. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Hey, we have a voicemail today. Hey, guys. This is Dan from Colorado. Big fan of the show.

Lately, when my friends and I go out to dinner, instead of getting entrees a piece, we've taken to getting a bunch of appetizers and just splitting them. So that made me naturally wonder what is the best appetizer to eat as an entree? And I will not count wings as an appetizer. Wings

are an entree in my opinion. Thank you guys. Hope to hear the question asked. Take care. Wow. Great. I love this question. That was from Dan from Colorado. Dan Bilzerian? It was Dan Bilzerian, yeah. He is a listener. Sounds different when you hear the voicemail.

I think this is a really good question. You know, the wings... Taking wings out of there, I think, is fair because that oftentimes appears on app. This is trash. This comes from a thing before. Wings are an app. I think they qualify as an app, but this makes the question, I think, a little bit more intriguing because that's kind of the no-brainer answer.

I'll also say that you know what often appears in the appetizer portion of menus? Quesadillas and nachos, both of which I think work as entrees. I would say that nachos are maybe more of a classic app, but I will have just like a plate of nachos for a meal sometimes. Do you guys have anything that comes to mind? An app for entree? Well, being born and raised in Sydney, Australia,

I'd say that. Believe my onion! Australian delicacy, right? Famed authentic Australian steakhouse outback. Did we establish you were from Rochester, New York? No, I Australian steakhouse outback. Did we establish you from Rochester, New York? No, I don't think that was in front of... Yeah, we did. I mean, we could have asked you some more

Australia-specific questions if you were willing to talk about it. I thought it was maybe a thing. I really don't want to talk about it. This show isn't about what I did or did not do. I got you, yeah. Well, you took away the big two, you fucking jerk. What are you talking about? I mean, quesadilla is the big one.

I don't know. But this is... Part of why I brought up quesadilla is I don't know if quesadilla qualifies. Because I think it is kind of like... I think if he's going to say wings are an entree, I think quesadilla is also an entree.

I don't know. You would have said it. Like, I guess... Yes, I guess by Dan's... Dan from Colorado's rules, by Dan Bilzerian's rules, then it's eligible. So quesadilla is a valid answer.

For me, it's borderline. I'm trying to think of other ones, and I can't think of anything. I know Natalie likes as a... You're not going to get a fried pickle entree. No, that's odd. Natalie likes as an entree lettuce wraps, which I think is a good one. Oh, that's good. You get a lot of nutrition there.

Those are kind of like sliders, right? Yeah, but yeah, you can... Ooh, Anverd, sliders. Sliders is a good one. Sliders, you stumbled upon it, my man. Those are kind of like sliders, right? Yeah, but yeah, you can... Ooh, the Antford sliders. Sliders is a good one. Sliders, you stumbled upon it, my man. I slid into that one. You and Jerry O'Connell both. Yeah, that's a tough one.

It is a tough question. Speaking of lettuce wraps, Rebecca Romijn. Was Jerry old? She sleeps in one She sleeps in a lettuce wrap? She's tiny Do you people who like Sleep in weird Like food related items

You kind of like Have like a message board Or something Because of a Facebook group You got the Ziploc bag Yeah And that's just I'm not

I don't sleep in there Oh you don't That's just when I don't want to be on Or I'm not allowed yet On a podcast I gotcha It's handy to I mean I guess You're on enough, or I'm not allowed yet on a podcast. I got you. It's handy to have.

I mean, I guess you're on enough podcasts where it's good to just bring that with you. Yeah, it's fine. It doesn't take up much room. Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't put a plastic bag at least over your head, Wagger. Mitch, if you're going to do that, I think you need to get like a lawn bag.

Lettuce wraps are good. You know what? Sushi is sometimes placed under an appetizer. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. If you're not at a sushi restaurant, a lot of times it'll show up there. Now, are we talking about shareability or just the taste?

I think what I took from the question is that it's for one individual's consumption. And now Dan, I think, gets a bunch of apps for the table, and they split them up, which is a different thing. But I think if you're by yourself or if you're like, I'm going to order off the apps menu, what would you get for one? Oh, forget what I said about the German onion. Yeah. Forget that. In fact, delete what I said. Are you song?

I'll take that and just put it in your trash folder. You know what else works is like cheese fries or some chili cheese fries, like big old fries with some sort of crap on them. You know what? That can be good and filling. If you're eating it like chicken fingers, I've eaten that as a meal. Right. I wonder if that meets his wings qualifier.

I got one. One last one. Flatbread one. One last one. Flat breads. Oh, interesting. That's like a little pizza you could have for an entree. That absolutely. You find that on a happy hour menu, you can be eaten pretty. Hey, you know, if you have a question or comment about the World of Chain Restaurants,

you can email us at doughboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOUGH. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys Double, our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash doughboys, where the loser's bracket continues all month long. Fat Chance Kitchen, only on Doughboys Double, only on patreon.com slash doughboys. Mike Hanford, thank you so much for joining us. Your band, the Sloppy Boys.

Yes, that's right. All three of you guys, you, Tim Kalpakis, and of course, the very, very cool Jeff Dutton have been on the podcast before. That's right. You guys have a tour that's coming up.

We are going on tour. We're going to be in, I'll just say, in Boston March 29th, Philadelphia March 31st, Brooklyn April 2nd, and Washington D.C. April 3rd. Wow.

And where can people get tickets and info? Jump on our, I guess, go on to our Instagram page, and we'll get linked up there on our bio. As just the Sloppy Boys? The Sloppy Boys, that's right. Check out

the Sloppy Boys on social media. And we're touring with Don't Stop or We'll Die. Oh, Don't Stop or Die. Paul Rust, Michael Cassidy. Wow, what a great double bill. Put together a good little show there. What a crew. Check it out. Should I say the places where we're going? Yeah, why not? Yeah, why the hell not? It's already three hours.

And also, Nick, he's going to Boston before us. Nick, they're all going to Boston before us. You should be ashamed of yourself. Boston's the Great Scott. Philadelphia's Philomoka. Brooklyn, the Bell House. Washington, Union Stage. Go on their websites.

That's where you'll find the tickets. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Nick, it's with a heavy heart that we end this episode. Wait, we're ending? Yeah. Can I plug something else? Yeah. I always look to you, Nick, when I think I've got to ask end this episode. Wait, we're ending? Yeah. Can I plug something else? Yeah.

I always look to you, Nick, when I think I've got to ask a question. I'm an authority figure as well. I forget that Mitch also. Mitch will put his foot down. Sure. I am running a half marathon on March 24th. Wow. And I'm raising money for the Alzheimer's Association.

And if you want to donate, go to either my Twitter or Instagram page account, and links are in my bio. Cool. Yeah, do that. That's great. Good job, Ham Man. Thank you. Are you going to be wearing any Sloppy Boys gear while you're running that half marathon? If I had my way, I'd be wearing nothing at all, but there are rules and regulations to this, so I have to wear, at the very minimum, a bib.

A numbers bib. A waist bib, eh? Yeah. That's to cover. Ugh, oh nick you looked at me what i need to waste bib no because i'm chowing down on my own no no that's what you were thinking it wasn't it really wasn't but now yes yes now of course yes i was gonna say with a heavy heart that that paquito goes down to the loser's bracket. Yeah. It will be an interesting end to this turning.

We're going to see what transpires. And hey, with a heavy heart, we end this week's episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for The Spoonman, I'm Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. The Munch Madness 2019 finale will be live here in LA. Watch the champion be crowned on Sunday, March 24th at the Hollywood Improv.

For tickets, go to headgum.com slash live. Wow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.