Doughboys - Munch Madness: Semifinals Match 1 with Carl Tart

Episode Date: March 15, 2018

The great Carl Tart (Comedy Bang! Bang!, Culture Kings) joins as guest judge for the first semifinal matchup of Munch Madness 2018: The Tournament of Chompions: The Slice is Right, as round one victors Blaze and Domino's do battle. Two kinds of Frito-Lay chips are taste tested in another edition of Hot or Not.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

With the first overall pick in the 2003 NBA draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers selected the most highly touted high school basketball prospect in a generation, LeBron James, who hailed from nearby Akron, Ohio. Raised by a single mother who had him at just the age of 16, the man nicknamed King James would go on to one of the most storied careers in NBA history, capturing two titles with Miami Heat after a free agency departure heel turn, then returning to his hometown team to bring Cleveland its first pro sports championship in 52 years. And off the court, James displayed a championship level business acumen that saw him joining

celebrity investors Maria Shriver, Boston Red Sox owner Tom Warner, and Panda Express founder Andrew Chung by digging a 10% stake in a Pasadena pizzeria that would become the fastest growing restaurant chain in history. But now, he's up against an opponent perhaps more potent than the Dallas Mavericks, the San Antonio Spurs, or the Golden State Warriors. The world's largest pizza chain, which has been in continuous operation since before Cleveland's previous pro sports title in 1964. Can this young franchise defeat an entrenched powerhouse with a legacy of excellence buoyed

by the most iconic mascot in all of pizza, The Noid? This week on Doughboys, the first matchup of the semifinal round of Munch Madness, the Tournament of Chompians, the Slices Right, Blaze vs. Dominoes. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, sideshow blob, Mitchie Two Spoons, Mike Mitchell. Sideshow blob. This is courtesy of Maggie Cassidy. If you haven't a roast, you'd like me to use on Mitch at the top of the show, roastspoonmanatgmail.com.

Maggie's sending in a Simpsons roast, right? I think you're a little Simpsons crazy over there, Maggie. She's got Simpsons on the brain. You know what? You know what? I think of that. Uh, roast Maggie. Suck suck.

Maggie's catch, catch phrase. You know what? I'd say Maggie. I'll take you out for some frosted chocolate milkshakes. What the fuck? A little season one Homer. I thought he sounded more like this. Oh, that's really good.

That's a lot better. Come here, boy. What's mine? Never matter. That might be your best impression. Old Homer. Yeah. Tracy Omanera Homer.

It's crazy how super talented Dan Castell and that is and can do a billion. I know. Yeah. But me? Me. That's enough. That's enough in this day and age. You know, I could do some impressions back in the day, but one like, I think, I think

you agree. I think you probably agree with this wager, but there's a couple things not like doing impressions feels hacky like inherently and not saying that people who do them are hacking because they're not sure. There's plenty of funny people who are really good at impressions and are very funny. Yes. In and of itself, it's kind of a parlor trick. Yeah.

And unless you have an angle on it, you're just doing an impersonation. You had to think of I'm not funny. Right. What? No. Come on. Don't be self-deprecating. But that's one.

And then also, like, you see how good people are at them. Right. Oh, mine like, well, cool. I can do the woodchuck from Full House just to get the football team going. But right. The thing that that character, the thing that always stopped me from ever even attempting an impression was just being around James Addomian. Yeah.

And just like he's so like his impressions are so good, but then he's also got this amazing like comedic take. Like he's like this really great writer and improviser and he like just has this incredible angle behind his impressions. Yeah. And like a lot of, sometimes you'll see like people's, I remember when they used to have impression week on Letterman and some of these impressionists who were like, you know, did very good impressions.

But they were just like, now I'm going to recite the Pledge of Allegiance as Lyndon Johnson. And it's like, well, you don't have any material. You're just doing a voice. Yeah. I don't know. The Pledge of Allegiance is a material in some way. One could say the most important material in this country has ever been written. I mean, we say the flag pledge before every episode of Doe Boys.

We don't record it, but maybe we should start. We make our guests stand and take off their hats and we pledge the allegiance. But they still do that in school, like classrooms, right? I mean, they did when I was growing up. I don't know. I'm not in schools of these days. I imagine. You know what?

I want a Spoon Nation flag in every, in Michi, actually Michi two spoons nation flag in every classroom. Wait. So it's not even though you can still use Spoon Nation. Oh yeah. No, it is Spoon Nation. Okay. Spoon Nation flag in every classroom.

Sounds totalitarian. Too complicated to change Spoon Nation. What does it sound to? Oh, anyways, how to Spoon Nation, speaking of which, another good impression in my own material by saying howdy ho. You're Mr. Hanky from South Parking Impression spot on anyways. Here's a little drop lager and look, there's no cord today. So be nice to me.

People are coming on us, the galaxy is coming on us, so we'll figure it out. I can suck my own dick. That is not how the force works. That's it. Hey, that was great. I like that. I like the night court theme. That's a great theme.

I like that. I liked that drop a lot actually. That night in the night court theme has got a little stank on it. Do you know night court? Well, our good friend Eva Anderson's father was on a night court. And Harry Anderson. Harry Anderson. And he's great.

And that, but that show was like a, like, it was like, wasn't it like, oh, I feel like all those like big NBC shows like Cheers and everything were considered like failures at first and then like went on and for a decade. I don't know the, how, how night court fared on the Nielsen charts over the years. And maybe today isn't the day to figure it out. No, I think it's the, I think we should dedicate a full episode to this. Anyways, let's solve this mystery. That drop was from sham poodler.

And I said, he or she, I don't know who it is. And I love you guys. Keep up the good work. P.S. bring back bug main. Okay. We won't do that. Mitch, we're in the midst of the tournament of our best chain pizza. My heart is hurting.

It's very, I mean, this is very, very bad for our bodies. But you know, we were saying this before that this is, this is the, this is the, this is the worst one we've done. It really, yeah. Well, cause we get, we did burgers the year one we've done the month. I can't believe how naive I was back then. You thought burgers would be. I thought burgers were worse.

I thought it was burgers that were killing me, which they were too. Right. But you can have, you can have like moderate, like you can have like a few bites of a burger. You can have their versions. Burgers aren't always so punishingly unhealthy and a pizza slice is just all just like starch and cheese and, and you know, saturated fats. It's just like so, so heavy. It's just carbs and fat.

Yeah. It's terrible for your body. You're killing me. You're killing me. Wigs. This wasn't my idea. It wasn't. No, I don't think I had, I think we talked about possibilities, but I don't think I would

like issued an order that we were doing pizza this year. We, we came to an agreement. I've been, this is, this is how paranoid I've been. I've been leaving. I've been making sure that Wally and Irma's food bowls are filled because I'm afraid I'm going to die of a heart attack in the night. Jesus. And I don't want them to eat me.

That's grim. I know. Well, actually I did want them to eat me at one point and I do still if they need to eat me, I please go ahead and eat me, but I want them to have food. You know, right? You want them to have sustenance, but ideally they wouldn't. I thought about that today. I thought about how if, if I died in my sleep last night, you would be the person to come

and find me today. Wow. That's crazy to think of. So that means that when the ambulance came, you'd be sucking me off. All right. Sucking my corpse off. You think that would be my first course of action? They disrobe your corpse and start flating you.

You, you, it's on your bucket list. In what world would I want to suck off my dead friend? Good God. You think you would cry? If you died. Yeah. Yeah, I cry. I've never seen you cry.

It's like a twice a decade thing for me, but I'll cry. I'll cry over a sad movie or a death of a loved one. Twice a decade thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think I could, I could probably trace all my cries back to 2000 and it's probably, I don't think it's, I don't think it's more than 10. Were you like the kid in like the playground where you would fall and like scrape your

knees and then you'd like get up and just like silently walk off? I was a little bit of a crier in first grade, but then of course you were. After first grade I grew up. Mitch, let's introduce our guest. It's been too long. From comedy bang bang and ghosted is podcast culture kings is on the house stuff works network. Carl Tard is back.

Hi, Carl. Hello. Carl. Thank you. Thank you so much for making time for us. So we're recording this episode a little bit in advance, but this is coming out just before St. Patrick's Day in terms of, in terms of release. Okay.

Oh, my favorite holiday. Oh boy, which is Irish heritage is coming out, coming right to the surface, but I bring that up because Mitch, you and Carl share something in common. You were both bar bouncers in a previous life. That's true. I imagine St. Patrick's Day. Things get a little rowdy around the old a water and hole real rowdy around the Rotten Road.

It's a rowdy time. It is. Did you get? Were you there when on a St. Patrick's Day? Well, no, I was never there on a St. Patrick's Day. I worked. My, my doorman history was a bounce slash bouncer history was very short lived. I was a doorman slash bouncer for God, probably like half a year and I worked like one night

a week. Usually right. And it was at the snake pit on Melrose, very cool sounding bar. The owner of the place did not split the tips with me and she owned the place. That's a bummer. And so she's not cool. I went up in there a couple of days ago nachos are nasty. Yeah, you know, fuck the snake pit.

Wow. Yeah, you should split the fucking. I agree. And then there would be like a like it was funny because like she was like part owner or whatever this this this woman that I worked with and then there was like other bartenders who would work and it wouldn't it would it be her and they would split the tips with me and I was like, oh, the owner is the one who's not doing it. Oh, that's fucked.

Money hungry. Vince McMahon. Vince Vince McMahon level smooth. Yeah. I never worked at the same faster day and I never even I had a I had a ID Bobcat Goldthwaite one time. That's fun. She told me that you had to ID everyone when you IDed him where you're like, oh, yeah,

Bobcat Goldthwaite. You went to Nick's aunt's wedding. I did. Oh, that's cool. And he was like, oh, yeah, I remember that when when when Kristen married for us. That was very nice. Her nephew really weirded me out. Who let me ask you this who gave you the most problems as when you when you're IDing people

because I let's see if our if our numbers are well now this this is about a decade ago. So let me let me one, two, three. I thought we were going to say at the same time. No, because I have like a layered list of people. Interesting. I mean, I feel like it would be a combo of honestly the crowd that was in there was usually older. So I feel like people who were like older were like, why are you making me?

I like she had that weird rule of we like even if the guy looked like he was 60 we had to ID them. Sure. And so I that for that place that was specifically it. But I don't know. I think I feel like young guys too. Yeah, drunk people. So I work at I worked at Barney's Beanery in Burbank.

All right. There we go. By the way, this is this is like you're getting like you're then you're getting like you're getting some drunk folk in in this place for sure. This is one. It's in a shopping center, right? Yeah. And like it's on the outside of the mall.

Oh, okay. When you're walking up to go to the movies is is down like under they just put a yard house above it. Yeah, we went to that yard house with Matt Besser. We did and Besser went to the Barney's Beanery down below. That's we're right. That's what happened. Yeah.

I used to work there and people who gave me the most trouble. I want to hear it. All women, but like they went in different ways. So like the 21 to 23 year old girls gave me shit and like, oh my God, are you seriously going to card me? And I look at their ID and I'm like, you just turned 21 yesterday, right? That's who you should be carding. Yeah.

You you're the person who gets carded. You look to you look like a child. Right. And then the girls like my age, like 27, 28, 29, they wouldn't trip like they just be like, oh yeah, sure. Yeah. I like it. Now, once you get into like 35 year old range, they will give me a little bit of shit because

they'd be like, oh my God, really? You're going to card me? I'm like, you don't look. How do you think you look inside? Right. You don't look that old. Yeah. But it will be more flattery.

Yeah. That's a confidence booster. Yeah. And then older women, like 40 and above, like they would be up. Set either way, if I carded them or if I didn't card them. Oh, interesting. That's that's good. Yeah.

See it. We had it. We had a card everyone. And like, I feel like I always said that beforehand, but also very different, two very, very different bar. Yeah. The snake pig. We were supposed to card everybody, but sometimes you get somebody.

I'm like, I'm not going to make this woman digging this big ass purse for her, unless she wants me to. Yeah. And then luckily I could kind of charm my way out of her getting legit mad at me. Yeah. But yeah, and you had to toss a few people. Oh, St. Patrick's Day. The same old women.

I always had it. St. Patrick's Day. I like I like the holiday, but it's always just such a fucking man. Like right. I mean, I love the holiday. Come on. Of course. It's corned beef and cabbage.

I like to boil dinner and yeah, but I don't know if I love the holiday. I feel like it's like it's because it's you know, but it is. It's not a great time to go out. Right. A lot of people are just getting so shit-faced. Yeah. I like to drink. I like alcohol as much as the next man, but I don't like being around people who are

just like just out of their mind drunk, especially strangers who like want to start trouble. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get that. And there is a lot of, yeah, it's very, it's like, yeah, I've never, even when I was like 20, I would be like, I don't like when people are like so hammeredly trashed around me. Talking to people who are drunk is bad.

It's bad. It's not, it's not good. It's just like, like, like almost are working out, you know, it's just like, it's never even interesting conversation. It's just an aggressive. A lot of the time. Yeah. Yeah.

No. And then with St. Patrick's Day is just always correct. I go, I go to the, I've been going to the Tamo Shant for the last few years, which is fun. I've been there a couple of times. Yeah. It's Scottish. Tents out and stuff.

Yeah. The tents are out and it's a Scottish restaurant. But that's a little bit more of like, cause that's not like you're going to Oh Hurleys, there's some like Irish bar that's just, you know, that's like a little bit more of a grown-ups bar I feel like. Right. Yeah, but it is. It is insane.

Oh, people still do. It's insane. Okay. All right. I would say for my, my favorite holiday of holidays that aren't of my cultural background, Senko de Mayo's got to be the jam. Senko de Mayo's fun. That's fun.

I like that. You get, I mean, the best food. Yeah. You get to appropriate the sombrero, which is always a fun thing. You. Margaritas. Margaritas are my. That's my favorite beverage.

Yeah. Like alcoholic beverage. Yeah. I think that's my favorite classic cocktail. It's just always, always delivers. Always delivers. It's good. I will say this though.

And to, to, to put it on the food on St. Paterson, you never usually eat corn, beef, and cabbage unless you're me or someone who's sick and like an Irish person or something like that. Unless you're real. Mick. Hey, that's not right and I'm offended, but I feel like yeah, I feel like it's like a thing that it's a rare. It's a rare treat. Yeah.

Sure. And with I agree with you. Senko de Mayo Mexican food is my one of my favorite foods and that's just the best, but isn't it a nice isn't St. Patrick? Isn't that a nice treat to get to have? You can get enchiladas year round, but yeah, corn, beef, and cabbage is not an everyday meal for a lot of. Yeah.

Which is like a weird. Like what do people do? I don't like the died green part of St. Patrick's. It's always fun. I mean, it is stupid, but it's weird. It's just a green bud light and then piss or shit green for a day or two. St. Patrick is always sneaks up on me. Like I never know what day is going to be until people are like, yo, we're at, we're

at that Tamo Shanta. We had the Tamo Shanta come through and then it's like, if I don't have anything to do at night or if I do have something to do, if I got a 10 p.m. show and it's five o'clock, I'm going to go drink with everybody in. Oh yeah. I mean, I think that's the nice part of it is it can be just a random night and you're like, yeah, I'm going to go drink on this on a Tuesday night because everyone's doing it in greens.

My favorite color. Is it really? Mm hmm. You should. I know you're Clippers man. Yeah. Has nothing to do with sports. Oh, it's just my favorite.

But I'm just saying that I know a team that's got a lot of green. I hate that team. You hate the Celtics. Oh yeah. Why? I mean, Boston. You hate Boston. Yeah.

Carl, this is new to me. What the fuck? Mike Mitchell, come on. I've told you numerous times. You're the only person from Boston. I like. Well, that's okay. You know what?

You I bet you would like some of my friends in Boston. There are a lot of this is what I have to say, though, that a lot of people are like my city. Like like I love people from mice and like when people will come out here. There's like a good Chicago community and they're like this guy's greatest Chicago guy. I'm like when someone from Boston comes out here. I'm like, I don't know.

He might suck. It might be a terrible person or you could be awful. But there's there. There are some good people. Boston. It's not bad. I'm gonna. I'll die.

I guess I'll die on this rock defending Boston. There are plenty of Boston defenders. You got like the entire all of New England is like on Boston. There's a ton of Boston. Oh, cool. Everyone who lives in there basically is what you're saying. They're expats all over the country like New Edition. New Edition is from Boston.

Yeah. I didn't know that. Come on, man. That's pretty cool. Is is it Bob is Bobby Brown by Browns from Boston? He is from Boston. I thought so. Yeah.

How about that? Mm hmm. Hmm. They learn something new every day. You don't seem that excited about this. I'm just intro. I now I'm interested in other Boston based celebs. I'm going to download the new edition album tonight.

These guys are pretty good Mitch. Something else we discovered before we were recording. You have a spy cam in your mom's house that you can access from your your kitchen table. That is right. What is going on with that? I I got we got I got the Alexa screen. I got the Echo screen or whatever for Christmas and I bought it for my mom and sister. Yeah.

My sister got a house. She had been living at home with my mom and I was like, this is a nice thing. You guys can see each other. I thought it was a nice gift. My sister was like, I don't want that shit in my house. And my mom was like, you just take it. And so I took it because I was like, I will be good for like video phone calls. Right.

I live on another coast and and so I brought here and then but then there is like a drop in thing where I can just drop into the kitchen. But you just like when you say drop in, she doesn't have to pick up on her side. You just start getting a live feed of inside your mom's house. Mm hmm. That's like, isn't that she agreed to that, I assume this almost sounds like she did. She did agree to it, but this almost sounds like an Alexa. This sounds like Amazon.

We're not the dough boys can't be bought. I don't know. Absolutely. No. The dough boys cannot be bought. This is not branded content for Amazon. There's just there's there's fun. There's been a fun electronic thing on my table for the last because I had to echo on

here. No, this is this is why I'm pointing because to me this is like dystopian. The idea that you can just like look into you just have a peephole into someone else's residence and I know that it's your mom, but I still feel like that's like it's like a weird kind of invasion of privacy. Drop in on my mom's cell. Let's see what happens here. So this is just going to basically conference into your mom's cell phone screen.

Yeah. So and so your mom just has her cell phone just like doctor or something right now. She has a screen. I told you she has a screen. So she has it. Wait, why do you say I can't pick up? She keeps hearing your robotic voice and wants to talk to you. Alexa, Alexa, drop in mom's cell.

Here we go. I'm going and I just you could just see it. You can see my little my little home in Quincy, but she doesn't get a notification that you call it. No, I think she is home. What is it? Why is it mom? Mom.

Mom. There's a little so there's a little screen which is looking at we've got kind of like an out of focus. I can't really see it from here, but out of focus shot of your home office. Is it? No, this is the kitchen. Oh, that's the kitchen. It's getting dark out there.

It's getting dark. Yeah. Different time zone. You can drop in. I get to see Quincy. I get to 46. It's just like a time difference, Carl. I don't believe it.

It's 546 over there. There's a little wreath up still kind of not really a Christmas wreath, but like a winter wreath. Wait a minute. Your mom's got a framed poster for new edition. They are from Boston. Alexa, stop, stop it. But when you say like, when you say mom sell, you're not, that's not her cell phone.

That's just what she saved under in the oh, that's just what she saved as. Okay. All right. Great. Um, I'm glad we resolved that. I was hoping, I was hoping, I was hoping, I was hoping that she would be there and I have done it where I've been like dropping on my mom and I like, I was like, man, she's like, what the fuck like screened.

I'm telling you it's dystopian. I mean, has she dropped in on you dystopian? What the? No, no. I mean, we were in and Carl, we were like, oh, like the fact that like a camera can record you. Right. I'm like, what's it gonna see?

It's gonna see me cranking off. Who gives a shit? We assume this is what he was doing, but yeah, we have documentary evidence. What are they? Yeah, there's nothing to see right kissing and like me, like holding Wally's paws and dancing with him. Not that that's happened. Anyways, Carl, Boston is nice.

I'm gonna try to win you over on it. Maybe I'll go one day. You should. It's a it's a it's a it's a nice city. I've never been myself yet. I know you have it, Nick, and I'm gonna take you there. I'd like to go. It's where you're gonna be buried.

The friends of yours I've met from from Quincy from your Boston adjacent suburb have been lovely people. Thank you. They've all been very, very nice. And you know what? I've never met one of your friends. I was gonna give you a compliment. You've met my wife.

I met your wife was great. Well, that's the friend that counts. When you get married, you get to keep your friends. It's a thing to negotiate in the prenup. You know what you want to do with those? I mean, like I just said goodbye to all them years ago. Yeah, it seems like I mean who were your friends? You said goodbye to them at graduation.

Your teachers and the janitor that you were friendly with. I say goodbye to them every time I power off my Nintendo switch. Damn it. Carl, I had a question I wanted to ask you last time and this is because your last name is a food and a flavor. Do you like the dessert tarts and do you like foods that taste tarts? Carl, by the way, did not seem it. I went, ooh, and you were excited and Carl was like, what are you kidding me?

No, I don't like foods that taste tarts. I don't like sour things. I do however like fruit tarts. I think I'm more like the way they look as opposed to how they taste. Maybe I'm going like whole foods and see like their fruit tarts section. Right. And it's like beautiful. They really do it.

Like, you know, you eat with your eyes first. And those definitely kiwis really make fruit tarts pop. Yes. Kiwi is probably the fruit that I'm like, oh, I don't know if this is even. It looks the best and then the taste of them just like whatever. I mean, I like kiwi taste. All right, but it's it's not the one that I'm I'm going. What's your favorite fruit?

You know what? It's funny say that this morning and we referenced it on the double, but I had a bowl of pineapple and apple. Oh, pineapple is probably my number one. Yeah, a good, sweet as pineapple. You ever had pineapple in Hawaii? I've never. I've never been to Hawaii. I want to go. Yeah, but but I've never had like.

I don't think I've ever had like legit really great fresh pine. I mean, I've had some good pineapple. Like, but I never I've never had Hawaiian pineapple like that, but you love. You love like an island drink. You love tiki culture. It makes sense that you like pineapple. It'd be a hold on a second. I don't love tiki culture.

Don't you do a tiki bar? I like tiki bars. Yeah, but I don't like tiki culture. I think you're a tiki guy. I'm not like wearing all these dollar bills on your wall. It sucks that I have to then take them down for rent every month. What's your favorite fruit, Nick? Hmm. It's a good question.

I think I mean, I love I love strawberries. There's something very versatile. Artificial strawberries better than real strawberry. I like a fresh strawberry. I think if you get a really good fresh strawberry, it's delicious. Bananas are very versatile and that's like a great. That's maybe like the best fruit to snack on, but but favorite. I think I might say a really good peach.

Oh, yeah, you get a delicious peach. That's just like fruit heaven. I agree with you. Yeah. Bananas for me, I have a weird relationship with. I can't eat them if there's anything wrong. Like, oh, interesting. They have to be firm, but also right as they're about to turn.

So like, not green, but like right when I get a little bit of green on the top. And they're like sweeter inside, but still like firm. I don't like the mushy, but then I think it's disgusting. But a mushy peach like a peach that like runs down your arm. Yes. It's July. It's July. It's two forty six.

You may be dark in Boston, but it's light in Savannah, Georgia. You got a nice peach. The same coast here. You got a nice peach like middle of July July 4th celebration. Yeah, there's barbecues, but hold on a second to forty six. We have July 4th. It's dark in Boston. Yeah, the hell is going on.

Hey, Wolves are howling. We just called your mom. It was dark. I have to stay inside the werewolves around. That's what she said. She didn't say a thing. She couldn't talk to you. She couldn't answer you because if the I am legend, Google's heard her.

That run the streets of Boston. Huddling around. But yes, a good peach. But like I have not had a amazing peach in California. Yeah, I don't. I mean, do they really grow them out here? I don't know enough about the about where they were peaches are grown. I mean, I feel like they must.

I feel like everything out here, but yeah, everything. I had really good oranges out here. Yeah, they do have good oranges. God, hey, there's a whole peach after it. What are you the presidents of the United States of America? The band that sang the song peaches. Okay, all right. That's what that was.

I like a peach. All right. Yeah, I like it. I like it. I'll I'll I'll enjoy a tart tart of my heart if you like if you if you like tarts and then what's a good one for if you don't like tarts tart. Don't start tart. Don't start hashtag.

All right, I agree. Don't start. I agree with Carl that that, you know, tarts are they're so appealing visually, but I feel like I'd rather have a slice of pie. Anytime I've had a tart. I'm like this is this tends to be very crusty. This doesn't have as much because there's a there's a much more equal filling than a crust ratio and a tart versus a pie where it's a lot more filling.

Sometimes you go like a luncheon. They'll have like many tarts. Yeah, and those are fun to like gobble down in one bite. Yeah, yeah. You'd rather have a slice of cupcake. All right. So this is an art. This is Carl.

I don't know if you're wise to this argument. Mitch has made in the past. He has this insane theory. I waited a little while since we brought this up. So so yeah, why not bring it back? Why? Why not bring up old beefs? Why not reopen old wounds?

All this podcast is all about. Mitch believes that cupcakes are not cakes, but pie. Despite having cakes in the name, you think that cupcakes are pie. And I don't, you know, there are times you troll, but this is not a troll position of yours. This is this is something you said to me in seriousness. I said to you at one point that I think that cupcakes are more like pie than they are like cake.

Yes. It's a gibberish argument. Makes no sense. Nick, we're not going to dig up the past, even though we just did. You brought it up. I was just like you think that their cake is cake. It's cake.

The filling. There's a lot of things that go on with cupcakes. Let me ask you more. I like what pie have you had with the texture like that? What flat pie with crust, couple pie. Just anything think of the cream you got. There's fruity filling a lot in cupcakes. This is the thing.

The core elements are cake, which is the what cake is called cake and then the frost like whatever tops it, which is usually a frosting like substance, oftentimes just directly frosting. So those are the two components of an actual cake. They're just a smaller cake. Let's move on. It's like the cakes are pie. I was talking about fine.

We've settled it cupcakes are pie. So Carl, I know that you're a big wings fan. Yeah, and I think wings. This is the thing we've talked about the podcast. Wings are to pizza kind of what fries are to burgers. They're like the ideal accompaniment. I thought you were talking about Paul McCartney's band. We can talk about that.

What do you say? Baby, I'm amazed is the height of their discography. A band on the run is one of my favorite. Oh, yeah. That's a good one. I like simply having a wonderful Christmas time. Oh boy. I don't know.

That's that's kind of a you don't like that. That's a Christmas song. I'm not I could take her leave. I feel like every time I hear that one, I'm like, all right. What's really? Yeah, it's a little synthy to me for me. It's all what is your favorite Christmas song you freak. I like a holy night.

Silent night's pretty good. Silent night. Yeah, because that's what it's like at your fucking house. Natalie sitting there rocking back and forth. I like God rest in Mary gentlemen. That's a fun song. You fucking nerd. It's a nice little minor key.

Diddy boy. Wonderful Christmas time. I mean, I like Paul McCartney. You know what I like? Kiwis a key. Holy shit. Wait, what happened? What's going on?

My background changes a lot. So I did the screens not tilted towards me. So I can't see there you go. Oh, some Kiwis just came up on your Amazon Alexa. They've been listening to us. That is probably true. Oh boy, I wonder if some of those creatures from what was the Will Smith movie you reference other legends.

If I am legend or wings comes up or cupcakes and pies. They misunderstand. It's just the cast of the TV show. Wings Black Panther just came up to and I said oh wait. I said that earlier off air. Yeah, all right. All right, whatever. Look, I should probably unplug this and throw it away.

But then how am I going to spy on mommy? So wings the wings the snack slash side slash app as opposed to wings the band. What are you someone who gets wings when you order your pizza? Sometimes. Sometimes depends on who I'm with. When I order pizza for myself, I don't. I don't get wings.

Yeah, me neither. Not anymore. It feels like overkill. Yeah, that's a lot for one person to take down. But when when I'm with the homies, I go all out and like we go pizza wings. Sometimes we go pasta. Oh, wow.

That chicken Alfredo from Pizza Hut is far and and the center sticks dog man. Those synastics are a lot. I mean, they're good, but they are. They are very, very heavy. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe even a $4 Pepsi.

Yeah, $4, two liter of Pepsi or $4, two liter amount. Do the markup is the three dollars and ninety four cents or something. I guess yeah, it's it's but that is a one though. I walked into a pop of Johns wants to do carry out for like I had to bring a bunch of pizzas to like a meeting and I was like I figured I get some drinks there and they really were trying to discourage me from getting the two liters because they're

so heavily marked up. It's like that was a one time what I bet what I've been in a restaurant. They just like you sure you want these. I mean we can give them to you, but it's like it's like like twenty dollars for these for four. Yeah, it's like it's like crazy how much they charge for those sodas.

Yeah, I would I would do I would do something back home to here's the thing. Here's my issue out out here. The wings and the pizza places where they're the wings are good and the pizza is good. It's just hard to mix and match with the two. Yeah, it's very hard to find the place. It has good wings and good pizza.

I feel like Domino's and I know that's one of the chains we're discussing today, but I feel like Domino's has pretty good wings for among the main. They're like so just okay. They're they're they're good enough like I feel like they're fine. They used to be really we're going to get into this. I'm assuming today because yeah, but they used to be really

good right back in the early 2000s. Yeah, like Domino's wings. They used to be like really wet. They didn't they didn't taste like they came out of the freezer like they do or taste the freezer burn, which also we're not talking about this, but I just a complaint to most restaurants. Make sure your wings don't taste like they've been in the

freezer. Yeah shout out to Barney's Binary Burbank triple B. They got some good wings. No, oh they don't you have to get them well done. You're taking your old employer to task. I'm taking them. I thought I didn't know if you would still work there. Occasionally I was going to say you're gonna have to toss yourself out. Don't work there. Occasionally you know when I'm feeling down

to ground myself. Yeah, I still go back to Barney's every now and then in between your acting and writing jobs. That's a while you do a shift working the door at Barney's Binary. Hashtag the B that is a great point. I guess people don't. Yeah, they don't do those once they moved on from jobs. I don't go back to the snake pit ever and I think about it. Yeah to be honest. I think about it. Yeah, like every time work

gets slow. Right? Oh yeah, like right now. I mean that's that's honestly. If you're an actor out here, I because I was I was an assistant at the Simpsons is everyone on this podcast has heard a billion times, but it was that sort of thing of I was like I'm leaving my job, but I left it and I was like man, it would be so good to have to have had a job where I could like go back to occasionally when I when I was gonna pick up a shift or whatever, but for me it was that thing of just growing up so poor. Sure. I

never want to be broke ever again. So whatever I have to do to make sure there's always money and I never have to think about it right. So even when it's like we just ended at ghosted and I was like, okay, maybe I should just roll down a Barney. See if my same manager is there. Just think it's like you're fine. Right. You can take a couple weeks off. Yeah, but they would they would freeze their wings. I bet they freeze them. Yeah, you do. I would have to go sometimes grab them out of the

freezer and give them to the cooks and I would always be like I want to make it and well because it would also sauce them before they put them in the fryer. Really? Yeah. Strange. Yeah. No, not for me. What are your favorite wings in Los Angeles? Favorite wings in Los Angeles? I got to go with Hot Wings Cafe. Hot Wings Cafe is on Melrose. This place is good. Where else do we got? They got a great. You know, they got a great like hot wing salad there,

which is a great salad. Yeah, it's it's like a it's a nice salad. Sometimes you want wings. I like that would be I know where you go. Why don't you just take wings out of it? I know where you're going with this. I knew as soon as it came out of a mouth where you're going with this. I don't like it because it's a hot salad. I like it because they're hot wings and a salad and a nice bit, but it was like that you go there and go, can I get a hot wing salad? Hold the wings. Come on.

So we would but that would be like a when I used to I used to work by there and that would be a common like workplace lunch, but like if I didn't want something like super heavy that they still that was like a still kind of scratch that hot wing itch, but in a lighter way, their wings are really good. If you just get like a straight up order and you rustic is good. Oh, yeah, you're right. I didn't think about rustic rustic is good. It's just such a shithole. That's funny. I mean, but

then a lot of times a lot of good wings probably come from shithole places. Yeah, I go 15 15 crispy. Yeah, crispy. You gotta go. Yeah. Oh, hot. All right. My 15 15 minutes. That's what I go. Hot, crispy ranch. Okay. Yeah, I used to be a hot level wings guy. I've joined the Mild Club Nick. Oh boy. Yeah, I'm a member of the Mild Club now. I think I'm getting hotter. Jay's bar has got a ghost pepper wing now. Oh man, but that chili lime joint is pretty good. I'm as I've gotten and I hope

I hope this day doesn't happen. It doesn't come for you Carl, but I'm a mild man, but it's hashtag Mild Man and if you like a hot hashtag wild man. Oh God, but for you. It's not your it's not your your tongue in your and the tolerance. I can do it. I can eat your intestinal tract. It's like I can eat spicy stuff. It's digesting. It's a problem. Truly digesting stuff and in like feeling sick for like two days afterwards. Right like being like feeling I ate like like a like a rock or

something and and and just I can't do I can't do it. It's it bums me out because I loved I was yeah. I loved spicy food. I think I think I honestly I think I just overdid it to I ate so much spicy food and I just destroyed the lining of my stomach. I think it's damn about you. Yeah, it's it sucks. You can ever go to Thailand now. You know I can still make like I can still still make time for a sex vacation. You sick fuck that's a joke I should use on you.

I if I if I if I get myself up for it, I'll I'll still do it, but it very I try to stay away. Nick are you are you are you kind of still a hot? I know you're a heat seeker. I'm something of a heat seeker. I mean you I mean you're what a decade older than me. Come on, so you you don't deal with this sort of thing or I don't actually have real digestive issues from spicy foods really like it doesn't affect my stomach. I think I wonder yeah, I don't know what it is. It hasn't affected me the

same way it has you. I was certainly sometimes you know a lot of reflex or indigestion, but I won't get like like lingering pain. There's a lot of guys like me to who just yeah, but they can't it happens in girls. Yeah, right. Like yeah, your body kind of wears down and you just can't handle it anymore. I think I heard chef Tom Kalikio can't digest spicy foods, which is interesting. That's a that's a big liability. I feel like if you're working the world find any you got to do

sorry for cut you off. No, no problem. Charcoal activated charcoal pills and lactate. Oh really do that. You could eat all spice food you want, but lactate counters like the the spicy factor. I think so. Oh wow coats your stomach. Oh, I should I should probably take lactate anyway. What do you do? You just take lactate on like a daily basis or something me. No, but I have been taking the I'm still spicy food. Yeah, don't loop me in your weak stomach. No, no,

I do do the activated charcoal though. Okay. Yeah, I should do something like that. That stuff always scared like Pepto Bismol I'll take occasion, which is not charcoal, but like it's that sort of thing that like then I feel like I got I feel then I feel like I'm backed up Nick. I'm not going to get into this. I feel like an old fucking loser right, but then if I take Pepto Bismol, then I feel sick from Pepto Bismol for three days. Yeah, I can't do it anymore. Yeah, I think I'm just done with

food. I think it's over. I think it's over. I think you're done with food. You're not going to eat anymore. I'm done with food. I think I man your body's got to live off of its own body fat. You've only got like another 20 years left for you with your mother fucker. So Carl, we're talking this is a this is our pizza tournament and I'm curious before we get into the actual combatants this week. What what are your we've talked about your your go

to order if you're getting beyond pizza we're talking wings, but what about pizza itself? Like what are your what are your favorite toppings? What was your favorite kind? You know it if you were going to get something growing up for like a pizza party or or you know like like are you a thin crust thick crust person? Give me the whole run now. I keeps it simple. Yeah. KIS is and I'd like pepperoni and jalapeno on my pizza. Oh yeah. That's just that's it. I noticed that's

what you brought and we'll we'll get into this the our combatants in a little bit but it's not what you brought today. Um I can out it depends on where I'm getting the pizza from with what crust I go with. Right. So is it okay for me? Have you already ranked your top or were you going to ask me to do that or what do you mean ranked top fast food pizza joints? I hate it. Hit us with them. I mean we've got two and two are evaluating today. Maybe if you can dance around those but but

let us know let me not let me not. Yeah. Alright, so I'm not going to dance around. I'm going to completely dance around at all. Yeah. It depends on it depends on where I'm going. Okay. If I go got it, got it. Oh yeah. Well now now I now I do when I'm intrigued. Yes. What's what's your history with the two places that today you can tell us that without without maybe leaning on too much but yeah. Have you had you ever been to blaze before? No. No. This is but this was your first first

visit. I mean it's a new chain. It's a very new chain. It's been around I think like less than five years. But I got some opinions. Yeah. And sure we're going to get into all of these. Yeah. And I also depends on where you guys are going in other episodes. So right. Well, let's let's let's a it dominoes is the other one and that that's certainly one that's a little more established. Let's talk dominoes for one second. What's your history with Dominoes? You mentioned Pizza Hut earlier

when you're when you're ordering with your friends but it is is Pizza Hut when you go to over Dominoes? Absolutely. Oh wow. Especially now. Wow. Why is that? Because are we are we getting into it? Is this where it starts? Yeah, we can discuss it. All right. Since the change since Dominoes has changed. I love that. I love that the change is its own thing. They had those famous ads where they they held up the you know the letters of complaint. They said they were redoing their

whole formula and they open up the pizza box and the cheese was on the roof of the box. I personally have fond memories of cheese being on the roof of the box. I liked it. Right. That was when Dominoes was good. Now they used to they used to sell dominoes at my high school and we used to just like load it with that really watery la usd ranch. Oh yeah. Okay. In the white squeeze containers. I mean I was I was Long Beach Unified School District but it was the same sort of same sort of

was our ranch sticker thin in Long Beach. Uh it was I mean it was like a thin my recollection of it was there weren't big tubs of ranch around but when ranch was available it was pretty thin. Yeah. Yeah. We had big tubs of ranch and I think they mixed like from just a powder and water. Right. And we used to get these big ass salads like when we thought we were eating healthy and just like load the ranch and then shake it and it had like a bunch of shit on it. Yeah. But

also there was the pizza the dominoes pizza that they would deliver like I don't know 500 boxes of pizza every day and you get dominoes. We liked it. Yeah. It was regular crust dominoes. It wasn't this this seasoned bullshit. Right. Were you buying it by the slice or were these like personal. Okay Wow. Is there is there too much seasoning now. I think yeah there's a lot of that seasoning and and we'll get into it later. I'm just gonna say that we got a Buffalo chicken pizza

today and I could taste that seasoning. What are you very dominoes. Why are you smiling. I'm not smiling. Yeah a little fucking you. There's something going on. I don't know. I don't have anything going on here. I mean I having a fun time having a conversation. You're enjoying yourself. I've never seen you enjoying yourself. I guess but you could just take you can take you could taste that seasoning all over all over. It's a very dominant matter of fact when I first went in there

to get a slice to do the comparison. I looked at it in cheese. I was standing next to Nick and I was like oh is that cheese. I'm gonna get the cheese. It looked so good. Yeah. It looked so good that I've been into it and all I tasted was that change seasoning. Yeah. It's what they've been adding to this shit. Yeah. Yeah. It's very dominant. Very dominant. Very dominoes. Very dominoed. Dominoed. Very dominoed. Very dominoed. It is. It is. It is. You taste you taste a lot of

it. I don't mind it. I'm just surprised that it is like now the go to is like oh you have to have like this garlicky crust no matter what. Whatever happened to plain crust. Yeah. That did kind of go the way that a dodo. You sound like an old man on a news program. Whatever happened to play crust. I'm gonna get into my Andy Rooney Ray. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more dough boys. Hey Mitch. What's up Nick. Did the dough boys podcast is now available on Spotify. Oh

yeah. Spotify is making it easy for you to stream this podcast and many others like it on your mobile device desktop app and smart speaker. Open the app on mobile or desktop click on the browse channel then click on the podcast section. Hey Mitch take us with you wherever you go. Thanks to Spotify. Yeah baby. Welcome back to dough boys. We're here with Carl Tartt. It's our pizza tournament. Let me recap the rules real quick before we get into it. Pizza only. Side stay on

the sidelines. Drinks are in the Gatorade jug also on the sidelines. We're doing a level playing field. Takeout versus takeout. Dine in versus dine in and then from each chain we'll sample one ma one cheese pizza and one wild card pizza. So Carl blaze. This was your first experience and we had a little bit of an email communication which resulted in email miscommunication rather which resulted in you bringing you saw a lager fucked up. Look I will take the heat for

this one. I think you had two plates when you were getting your pizza. You took two plates. All right look. I didn't I wasn't off to a strong start before this episode. I tagged I said I take an extra paper plate leaving us a bereft of paper plates with the last one was actually underneath my stack and then I emailed you Carl about getting blaze and I meant for you to just go get blaze on your own because there's no one close to Mitch's place and I figure we'd all go

on our own and then discuss but you actually thought you had bring blaze for all of us. So you showed up with two full pizzas which is the most fucked up thing ever. I made you do an extra errand. I apologize for that but what you ended up bringing you you had a cheese and then you also had a pepperoni with jalapeno which was the which was what you said was your go to pizza orders my go to pizza order. I wanted y'all to try it because Nick said go get blaze. Now here's the thing

with semantics and me coming from Mississippi. If you had a sick Nick if you had us and this is not at all blaming you because I'm very grateful that you guys are going to eat this pizza with you because it's fun. I was ready to I was like I'm going to go kick it with the boys. We're going to eat this blaze. It's going to be dope and woman but it was I was happy to do it. It cost me $630 rents due tomorrow. No, but I that's my go to. I wanted y'all to experience what it's like which

I which I liked a lot. Yeah. It's a good mixture. It's a good mixture. It is. Yeah. I like jalapenos on a pizza. They work really well because it's like you know sometimes you get these and this was something we discussed with with our friend Marissa on our on our most recent double is that sometimes those veggie ingredients get a little wet and they they add a little extra moisture but it works with the pickled jalapenos because that's just like dripping that that heat into that

pizza. Yeah. And it just like I like I really like the but I really like the combination of pepperoni and jalapeno that actually works really well and I thought their blaze was a good execution. Did you text call go get blazed? So I went and got high really high. No, you're speaking my language. No, that was what I was saying. I lost my train of thought like I normally do. Sorry. I lost my train of thought like I normally do. It was it was go get blaze and will like bring the receipt

will reimburse. Okay, cool. I'll go get us blaze. Like that's what I thought it was. Yeah. Now if you had said to me and this is not you wouldn't you're not supposed to know this. You're not supposed to write but if you had to say go eat at blaze so we can talk about how it was, then I would have got yeah. I love this because Margaret and I had a communication problem just recently. We had on our past episode with John Gemberling. We had a miscommunication issue which resulted

in me going to the wrong little Caesars. That was a whole thing on that episode. Looks like you did this, but it's way worse in this scenario because it's for our guests. Well, you know what Carl handled it with a little bit more dignity in class than you did. Then lash out and he blame at my feet. Well, I walk into the blaze pizza at the Glendale Galleria. There was a ton of teenagers in there and they all made extreme fun of me. Oh no. Let's go beat the shit out of them. Look at that

piece of shit getting two pizzas for themselves like these are for my friends. I was instructed clearly to bring two pizzas, one cheese and one of my personal choice and look at bitch getting jalapenos on his pizza. The hell is wrong with these kids? Glendale's finest. Glendale has an issue with jalapenos, an issue with the Linguincy as well. Everybody should have been in school. It was like 130. It wasn't even dark and Quincy yet.

Well, on my own, I went to blaze at the Culver City location and I picked up some pizzas from there. I got a half simple pie which is their cheese, mozzarella parmesan and red sauce and then I also got half their meat eaters, which is pepperoni, meatballs, red onion, mozzarella and red sauce. Realizing now reading this description, what I thought was sausage was in fact meatballs which accounts for the fennel seasoning. Honestly, just like a little bit of heat. I don't know if that was

coming from the pepperoni or from the meatballs, but there was just like a little, not as much as from the jalapeno pizza, obviously, but just a little bit on that meat eaters. I would say that the only thing, the only complaint I'd have about this visit was the slices were wildly different sizes pizza wide. Like it was like the slice wasn't right. The slice was not right. It's whoever was slicing this pizza was just not paying any attention. It was just sort of like using that

that pizza cutter at random. And so I had some thin little strips and then I had some like gigantic foldable slices. But you know the their cheese is very a very tasty baseline pizza with a nice chart of the crust. I like they have that 700 degree oven and they put that basil and sea salt on top of the on top of the pizza, which did you get that on the ones you got? I did like there was like would you like salt and oregano and I was like salt on pizza. Oh oregano, rather not basil. Yeah. Yeah,

sure. Yeah, put the salt on there. Yeah, we talk about it on the pocket. Right. You know what the oldest sea salt leave some that stuff in the ocean for crying out loud. We're gonna get in the ocean one day. We're gonna sink right to the bottom because all the salt is gone. Is that what you think the climate crisis is? The ocean is getting desalinated? Mm hmm. Am I wrong? You don't know that I'm not. Maybe that is an issue with climate change. It might be. Hey, we don't know. I actually

I could see that happening. Not nowadays. I could see like maybe the ice caps are melting and then fresh water is going into the oceans and then that's that's lowering the salination levels. Looks like I just hit on something big. I hope that there are a lot of scientists who listen to this podcast so that they can, you know, bring these facts back to their bosses right here in this era of alternative facts. We need an arbiter of objective truth like Mike Mitchell science genius.

I like I like sea salt is just a funny thing to me. It's just a funny right salt. It's like, okay, whatever sea salt. I think just saying salt people like is just like, all right, salt. What's that? A little flair sea salt or kosher salt or the very or now that what's that a Himalayan salt is the one they've got the pink salt. But yeah, Carl, what do you think of that of those seasonings they sprinkle on top of it after tasting it? I thought it was good. Yeah, I couldn't. I don't

know if I tasted the saltiness of it, but I think it might balance out with the crust. Yeah, right. Yeah, I think it's I think the salt is pretty subtle because they don't they don't sprinkle it on with a heavy hand, but the oregano you can definitely pick up on there. In fact, I would say probably on that on that on that cheese that simple pie, I feel like the oregano is perhaps the most dominant flavor. It is. Yeah. And they went because he said he was gonna put Parmesan on it

and I was I'm not a huge fan of like grated Parmesan. Sure. Too many memories of my mom making spaghetti like 90 times a week. Yeah. And we use like the green containers, right? I don't want no more that damn. I had spaghetti so much as that is probably like the number one meal. I had all the spaghetti always. It's easy. Yeah, you toss it in a pot. It's it's cheap. There's a lot of things with spaghetti. That's that's why you have it. Yeah,

that's why you feature so many things. I used to hate my mom for I realized now I was a real piece of shit. But yeah, like that when when they when they put on the Parmesan, it's like we make it with mozzarella and Parmesan and I was like, well, Nick sent me a very clear email that I have to bring this pizza as is to the podcast. But yeah, it was it's fine. Yeah, tasted the oregano oregano beat out the Parmesan, which is good. Yeah, for sure. Let's let's get into

our topping sides. Our topping. Yeah, topping sides. That's what I was trying to say topping half of pizza because I got I got half and half. So my my meat eaters half. I think the the pepperonis. Here's what I would say. I think their pepperoni is good. But the pepperonis themselves like for a place that kind of like is trying to market itself as like this artisan, you know, sort of I feel like they kind of have the trappings of like this is like this is like the a little bit of a higher

grade of pizza. And I feel like those pepperonis are you Carl, you were talking about school cafeteria food earlier like they kind of reminded me of of of like cafeteria pepperonis. Yeah, they're a little lunchable like yeah, exactly. They're nothing specially they'll crisp it all in that hot oven. And so I like them that much. Yeah, I wasn't impressed by the pepperonis. I think the red onion on it, you know, like added some nice crispness and sweetness. But but the the pepperonis themselves

were a little underwhelming. Mitch D so you did this actually actually this blaze order miscue actually ended up working on your favor. I'm realizing it did because you had another blaze order that didn't work out for you. That's right. So you could say that I'm by by sending that that email that was that miscommunicated to Carl. I'm kind of the hero of today's podcast. Jesus. No, you know, I could have just lied. I guess yes. I ordered Postmates and people will say why ain't you go

and get a shut up shut up all of you shut up. I'm sick of this shit. Nothing riles like people getting mad at you for using Postmates for the podcast. I've eaten pizza fucking every like every day. Right. I ate pizza this weekend. I Costco yesterday. This is this is after Costco, right? Yeah, a few. Oh yeah. I ate Costco fucking yesterday after I got out of the gym. I love pizza and that there's this is too much. I can't eat the fucking pizza anymore. I'm ruining my favorite thing on earth and it's

killing me. You're no hero. I ordered Postmates. Yes, it did. It just truly never came. I was ordering it because we were recording two episodes. Yeah, I ordered it during the first episode never just never came and it was pushed back to probably it when it said that it wouldn't be here for 30 more minutes, but just no one was reacting to it. It was that weird thing of like there is no one even reacting. So Carl brought his piece here and I ate his blaze. So it was. It did work out and it did

work out. It worked out great. I'm happy. It's a Doughboy's miracle. A Doughboy's miracle. God. Dough us everyone. The moon is right. A wonderful Doughboy's time. You know what? I like this song now. Wait, what was the one you liked? Silent Night. No, God Yeast you, Mary. Gentleman. God Yeast you, Mary, Gentle Dough's that one. Yeah, God Yeasty, Mary, Gentle Dough's. Yeah, I feel like doughy Gentleman was right there. Oh, God Yeasty, Mary, Gentle

Dough's. Oh yeah, doughy Gentleman. I just talking to those deer in the back. Look, here's how I feel. Yes. I don't know how I feel about blaze is just one of these hyped places. It's just it's so hyped. Yeah, I mean it has a lot of hype. I like I like the I did like the I like the idea of it. I like the idea of the place right, but then also like it's such a funny thing to like. Should there be a Chipotle style pizza place? I

don't even know. I think it kind of works better than Chipotle to some degree. I'll be interested to see if it has any sort of staying power. It is and I touch on this in my in my intro, but it is the fastest growing chain restaurant in history. Like it's insane how it basically, you know, open in Pasadena in the 2010s and then it's now just like, you know, nationwide. It's the 16th or 17th biggest pizza chain in the country in less than a decade. Like it's insane how much it's expanded. I know

that people like it from this tournament. People shouldn't be eating Pete. It's just so weird to me to have like a lunch. Right. I mean, I know California Pizza Kitchen is similar to but they have a bunch of different things right, but you wonder if like the the have they expanded too rapidly. Is it almost like overconfidence? Is it folly that they've they've just trying to? Is it reckless even that they're that they're there? You've got so many locations for something that's not proven

to necessarily be sustainable because you're right. Yeah, I think people like the novelty of it that you can order a personal pizza and you can customize it and it heats up in like three to four minutes. Here's what I'm gonna say. Yeah back on the East Coast. I know that you guys hate the East Coast, but yuck back on the East Coast. What you do instead of going to play as pizza, you call up your local bar pizza place and you get like five to ten bar pizzas. Emma knows what I'm talking about. You

get bar pizza and it tastes better than fucking blaze. It's cool. That's great. I'll stick with me. I think me and nickel stick with our West Coast blaze. Yes, that song makes me think of Nick White. I am a surf dude with attitude. You know what that is? That's the theme song to and I don't know the name of the show. What is it? Let your listeners tell you. They'll know. I know what it is. I'm singing it. Hit us up hashtag theme song ID or how about hashtag Carl mystery? The blaze is

just bar, just a regular bar pizza is so much more fun and better than me than than then blaze. I think I not that blaze is bad and right and it's going up against Domino's as a chance to win. I'm not counting it out yet because I don't even know what you guys think either, but it just what? What is why are people? I don't know why people are nutty over. I think the customization is part of it. Go ahead, Carl. This might have to be marked, but I have a question. Yes. Have you guys

gone to pizza rev yet? No, no, or 800 degrees. I've been to 800 degrees. We talked about maybe including but we decided not to 800 degrees is it's I like 800 degrees quite a bit but and it is a very similar concept to blaze but it's apparently not nearly as as widespread. Okay. Yeah. So y'all not doing either of those so we can talk about we can talk about it for sure. Okay. Unmarked. Yeah, that that a pizza rev is they're all like the same like the Chipotle style

pizza. Yes. So far out of those three blaze has been my favorite. Wow. Wow. Because pizza rev is a little wet and their pizza sizes aren't consistent. Right? They just kind of like grab a ball of dough and just roll it out and whatever you get you get. Yeah, and you have to eat it like a fork. Right? Oh, that's a pain. You got a ball it up like a dumpling. Yeah, I think I might like 800 more than place. Yeah, I like how I like 800 you get good and charry and I

like a charred piece. Yes, me too. That was what I was gonna say the char charry. Yeah, but the charry a character charry. Are you thinking of cherry? Oh, cherry. There's cherry on Peewee's playoffs and then there's Charo. Oh, Charo. The Spanish celebrity Charmander the Pokemon Charmander the Pokemon. You're probably thinking of Charmander. I think it's Charmander. Charizard. For Charizard. Yeah, Charizard. If we want to follow all their outlets, evolutions. That's what I stopped.

Yeah. You know the last one here. Fucking freak. What's the your evolution? Well, let's see. You got Weigar and then you probably have Weigander Weigander. Yeah, Weigazard. Hey, Weigazard Wargazard. I'm afraid to see what happens with his abilities as he gets stronger and stronger. How was all walk is all walk is all every time I look around. That is more. That is the more appropriate song for Weigar. How bizarre. That could be your

theme song. Well, you think I'm a strange dude? Is that what you're saying? Yes. You know this. You think people are saying OMC's How Bizarre based on about my behavior? Yes. I don't know. I think that song was more about more unusual occurrences. Jesus Christ. Don't break down what How Bizarre was about. Who cares? A hot ball man. Let's get into Domino's. So we had a pan cheese pizza. You did this order for us, Mitch. I appreciate that. You got a pan cheese pizza. No problem.

And and also a buffalo chicken pizza and also you got with that pan cheese pizza. You got half of it just regular old pepperoni. I prefer the pepperonis as far as pepperonis. I prefer the pepperonis from Domino's. I think they have the pan cheese has a good marinara sauce. It was it's doughy without being too dense and I like that the crunch on the crust. You know, you enjoyed it, huh? Yeah, I like like a little bit of crunch on that pan like it's it's like I said, it's it's doughy, but

it's not too dense, not not like thick and spongy. It's just got a little bit of a little bit of crunch to it and that but it's it doesn't have the same overly seasoned character that the default crust has. It's just got like a little bit of like a slight like like buttery quality to it and good cheese. Not too much of it, but but yeah, I like that pan cheese. The buffalo chicken. I mean, I like the heat from the hot sauce. I actually liked the buffalo. No, I liked it. I like the onions.

The American cheese is a weird thing to put on a pizza. You're calling Buffalo chicken. I'm not sure what it was doing there. It's not a car. I think I know what you're going to go on in on here. It's not. I haven't tried it. Oh, you haven't tried it. Let me go take a bite of this. I'll talk it out. Yeah, I'm going to take a bite of this this Buffalo chicken pizza and I'll give you a real accurate description. Carl's walking into my way over there to if you want to Mitch's

kitchen. Oh, he's going to have a room temp. All right. The mission if you will you ever call it the mission you do know I know I don't now wait mission just just appeared on your Amazon Alexa. So yeah, the American cheese was a weird choice, but it kind of worked. Here's what I would say. I just think the chicken was a very bad quality. It's like that. It's funny. I didn't think that it was. I think their chicken has been bad. I think

their chickens gotten better. So maybe that is like I'm being nicer to it because it's gotten better than it was. Yeah, I guess I don't have a baseline that I'm that I'm comparing it to to me. It tasted like that like a defrosted boneless skinless chicken breast and just like just that kind of you know, dry not particularly flavorful meat. Carl's hot off the or hot off the pizza press breaking chews here folks. I got to say the American cheese on it is good. Yeah, it kind of works right. It's

weird, but it works. I got to go with my boy. Why is our on that the chicken? Yeah, the chicken. The look the chicken is not great quality. I think that I chicken is one of the last toppings. I'll usually do on a pizza. Yeah, I don't. I don't do chicken on pizza a lot. Anyways, and I feel like it is because of this issue that you run into and I'm not sure that blaze would be that much better. Honestly, I think it's going to be kind of like a chopped up kind of like pre made chicken press. Not a

great pizza top. It's just not a good pizza topping. Yeah, but I was I was kind of impressed with their Buffalo chicken pizza. Like I liked it more than I thought I was going to over. I agree with you overall. Like I kind of liked it, especially that little bit of hot sauce, but I just feel like that the chicken is not. We almost to the Philly cheese steak pizza, which would have been fun to try. Maybe. Hey, if it makes it on to the next round, we'll see. Yeah. Well, let's let's get into our

judgment of these particular changes. Carl, this is how this will work. Okay, this is the system pioneered by our first guest for this year's tournament. Claudio Daugherty. Hey, we're judging from zero to 10 college basketball scholarships across six different categories. The categories are appearance, cheese, sauce, dose slash crust toppings and a category we refer to as X factor. Okay, so Carl, you're our guest. We'll start with you. Appearance is the first category. Okay, for the appearance of

and I'm going. I'm talking about both restaurants. Yes, the appearance of blaze pizza. One thing I said earlier about going to Pizza Rev and how they don't. It was very uniformed. They pulled out their dough slices that were already laid on wood planks. And the way they chipotle styled asked me what I wanted on it. It was dope. So appearance wise, it was perfectly circular. I knew how many inches I was getting. You sick freaks.

And everyone's thinking it. And it was it was like already like a preparation where the sauce would go. It was very pretty. Right. I'm going to go with a eight and I'm gonna give it. I'm gonna give him a four ride three years with an option to be cut. Oh, wow. You're really breaking this down an NCAA terms. I like that. That's perfect. That's what we should be doing.

I'm giving eight. What's the next one? It's for so for Domino's. Oh, yeah, we're doing Domino's classic. Yeah, like it's. It looks fine, right? Yeah, it it's. It didn't look unappetizing. No, yeah, I kind of like the sloppiness of it in some ways. Yeah, it doesn't. It's it's also got. They got there. They got there. They know how to do it. They know how to do it. The the cheese means it looked so appealing when I walked in, which would be a thing that we'll talk about here. So yes, that gets

in that gets an eight as well. Hmm. Okay. The next category is going to be cheese. Cheese at Blaze very pretty the way they put it on the pizza. The woman making the pizza would grab a handful then take the scoop and toss the scoop into that and toss the handful of cheese into the scoop then pour it on the pizza and rub it around. Strange. I needed more cheese. Yeah, it didn't give me enough. So I was thinking she was going to take those gobs of

handfuls and throw it on the pizza and spread it around, but she didn't do that. She still measured it like she's supposed to. So I think that's like one of those corporate things they tell you to do is like grab it with your hand like you're a professional, but then still use the scoop. Yeah, and take it. And so I think I don't think it was placed well enough on my pepperoni jalapeno. Yeah, it was however on the cheese pizza. Yeah, and as far as as far as comparing the taste the

Domino's cheese taste versus Blaze cheese taste to that damn seasoning on the Domino's pizza. Yeah, it's killing it over took the two. Oh, okay. So I'm gonna give blazer seven. I'm gonna give Domino's a six on cheese. Wow sauce. The next category sauce. I'm gonna give eight to both both four rides. Oh, I think of a I didn't give a scholarship to the cheese. Oh, there's a scholarship cheese at Blaze. That gets a full ride to a junior college plays to the cheese. The cheese at the

cheese at Domino's gets a full ride to a D one. Wow. But a mid major D one like a mid Atlantic school. That's right. University of Maryland Eastern shores. It gets a full ride there, but blows his knee out. Oh, it gets hitting the knee with a damn season. But they're not going to rescind that scholarship. No, they do because that's what happens in the NCAA. Wait, really? You get injured. You lose your scholarship. That's fucked up. Wait, is that really if you have like a like

a career ending injury? Yeah, you're not making them any money. NCAA is a trash organization for sure. Yeah, I load the NCAA, but I don't follow college basketball closely enough to know that that that particular. Yeah, agree. You were an NCAA athlete. I was an NCAA athlete. Do you know what's crazy? I too was an NCAA athlete. Where'd you play at? I rode crew. Oh, yeah. Yeah, talk about this. Yeah. I played basketball division to I was a walker. That's pretty. You must be nasty.

That's crazy. I was a little nasty back then. I'm clean now because I gained a lot of weight. My knees are bad, but what's the next speaking of? Oh, yeah. Walk on. We just did. We wait. We just we're just going through sauce, right? Next up is dough slash crust. Did we say sauce? Did we? I thought you were just. Oh, wait, no, no, no, yes. Why you're backtracked from sauce to give your cheese scholarships. Oh, yeah. So sauce. Yeah. Subscribe your rankings to it. You said, I think eight

eight versus eight was what you landed on with the sauces. Yeah. Yeah, believe so. Yeah, sure. Both sauces are fine. Domino's classic sauce. And so actually, I'm gonna change that. I'm gonna give Blaze sauce and eight. And I'm gonna give Domino's sauce a seven. Right here. Blaze sauce gets a four ride to a division to school, Augusta State. And Domino's sauce also gets a four ride to a division to school but a smaller division to school also Eastern New Mexico. Oh

boy. Augusta State. Is that in is that in New Mexico, Maine? Georgia. Oh, that's in Georgia. Okay. All right. I was thinking of a different Augusta to two. Two areas that I feel like aren't the most fun. I probably proven wrong by people who listen on the podcast, but you want to go to school and some one of the fun states there, right? Yeah, dough, dough slash crust is next and I knew Mexico would be all right. Yeah, some fun food is where I went. Oh, all right. Yeah, dough slash crust. Now

here's the deal. First of all, I'm just gonna start with Domino's Domino's dough crust doesn't make it out of high school. Wow. It played varsity carol. It played varsity. But then here's the deal. The Domino's dough played varsity and then decided that he wanted to hang out with his friends who weren't going anywhere. And these guys were bad news. His mom always says stay away from those dudes. Stay away from those guys that they bring nothing positive into your life. And

he's like, I'm okay. It's okay. And he stayed away from for a long time. But then one day he was leaving basketball. Oh my God, his headphones on. Oh, no. And he Jesus and he saw his friends and they walked down. They all have leather jackets and like, Hey, man, you need to ride home. And he's like, nah, it's cool. I'll walk. Now he he already kind of twisted his ankle in practice that day. But it's just an ankle roll. You know, he get over it. I'm so scared to hear what he had

three. He had three three miles to walk. He usually walked every day wasn't the back that he dribbled and you know, perfected his dribbling right while and they were like, yo, Domino, you want to ride? We give you a ride, man. It's all good. Come on, man. We don't know each other since middle school. What's good, man? He goes, All right, give me a ride, but we got to go straight home though. My mom expected me. They go cool. Jump in. So as he gets in the car, yo, we got to make

a stop real quick. They go to a really bad neighborhood. Oh boy. Somebody hands a brown paper bag out the window to somebody turns out to be an undercover cop. Oh, everybody gets arrested. Domino's is in that car. Oh man doesn't make it out of high school. Oh my God. This is such a sad story for Domino. That's how that crust tastes with that fucking seasoning. Hey, you know what? Good on Domino for not ratting out his friends. What's the moral of the story? It didn't

matter if you write it or not. He's he was in the car. Yeah, accessory to the crime. Guess what? Rating out is good. That's a bitch dance. Squeak, squeak, motherfucker. I'm a rat. Hashtag snitchel. Well, thank God they never called me snitchel in high school. They did call me bitchel. It's just fine with blaze pizza. However, when I looked at it, I looked at the crust on the on the on the poster, I was like, that's a corn meal crust. I don't love a corn meal crust on a pizza. Then I

ate it. The way that oven perfected that crust. The sea salt, the oregano, good seasonings. Toppings good. Little reflux. The reflux is a lonely job. The way they did it, I was all about it. So therefore, I'm going to give that an eight. The crust at blaze an eight. The crust at blaze, judge it look like based on looks wise. Didn't get a scholarship. No colleges wanted to see him. It doesn't. It's not impressive looking. It's tape didn't really look good. Yeah. You know,

so he chose to go to a state school with the San Jose State, a struggling Mountain West Conference school. Yeah. Walked her there was basketball trial went to talk to the coach. The coach was like, eh, we kind of got all of our scholarships filled up right now, but we'll have open tryouts soon. He was like, cool. I played all four years of high school. I play with. I don't know if you know this guy Domino. He just got a guy. I got arrested. I was his backup. Here's a backup to Domino.

And then he walks on makes the San Jose 18. Wow doesn't play as freshman year though. Okay, but walks on. Is he red shirting? He's red shirt, but he makes the team today. By the way, of all these people that any of them go pro. We'll see why two categories left toppings. I'm going to go ahead and give the Domino's toppings chicken, chicken and pepperoni in eight. No, seven, a seven. Okay, the pepperoni and Domino's is good cheese. The buffalo chicken wasn't great, but that American cheese gave me

something I didn't think about. Yeah. So I'm going to go ahead and also say that that person is a person who went to a mid major D major D two. Like, so that's what I'm going to give them a 6.57 in that area on toppings blaze toppings. I didn't mind the pepperoni being a little bit lunchably. The jalapenos were great. Sure. And the cheese pizza turned out to be really good. Like I said, it wasn't the Parmesan didn't overpowering. The mozzarella felt fresh. It was good. I like the way it looked.

So I'm going to go ahead and give that a 7.5. Okay, and they just had a, you know, a solid career at a D2. Yeah, like it wasn't they. They got the scholarships D2 weren't good enough to go D1 got the scholarship to go D2 had a solid career. All right. I like that. There's Carl. There's one. So there's one last category and then don't give your final answers. We'll quickly break down ours and then we're going to say at the end the one that we want to send on to the next round of the tournament,

but X. Let's hear your. It's X factor factor. You want to hear my ex factors now? Yeah. Yeah. I want to save them. Oh boy. I like that. We got a tease. All right. All right. Do I want to go Nick? Yeah, go ahead, bitch. Okay, we'll speed through these. All right. Cheese. Just give me the categories appearance, cheese, sauce, dosage first off out of the bat. You know what? I agree with Carl that they the the blaze doesn't look that great. Like like doesn't look that impressive. It's but it's neat. It's

neat. It just doesn't look. It doesn't look like anything special, but it's it's neat and it's clean. Domino's is not neat and clean. It's a little bit more sloppy, but it's a little bit more kind of like fun and pizza you looking, but I kind of feel like they even out right because of that. I'm going to just go seven for both of them. Okay, seven, seven for the both of them, cheese, none of all of my all of mine go to Ithacan row crew with me. That's that's their punishment cheese. I'm not blown away by the blaze cheese.

I've said this before and dominoes. I just like a little bit more. It's like definitely more like a little bit more salty, a little more manufactured tasting or whatever, but I just I you can taste it. You know my issue with the blaze is sometimes you just can't taste the cheese as much as I want to taste right. So I'm going to go. I think dominoes is going to edge it out seven for domino six and a half for blaze and it's not. I mean like because it's that sort of thing if I know the cheese is it is good.

I just need if I think maybe next time I go there, I'll get like extra cheese or right sauce right. Yeah, sauce is I don't like the blaze. I the blaze sauce is kind of bland to me, but then domino sauce the handmade pan is better than the the regular one. I think I can't I can't tell it's really confusing whether it has a different sauce. You mean I think it does. I think I think with a specialty beats. You had a different size. It has a different size. Well anyway, I mean the the the domino sauce isn't domino sauce isn't like the best

part of it either though. Sometimes it can taste a little. It can just taste a little fake. You know what I mean? Right? It's it's it's not great, but I didn't love the blaze sauce either. Neither of them to write home about I give both of them sixes crust. I'm going to I'm going to give the slight edge to dominoes because of that. I like that handmade pan pizza. I love I love the way that comes out. Like you were saying it's kind of airy seven to seven to six and a

half again dominoes to blaze. Is that it X factor? Did you wait? Did you just you just did dough crust? Yeah, you got toppings. You get toppings toppings. No dominoes wins this for me. I thought the chicken was better than you guys thought it was the blaze pizza ones are just kind of I don't know that I did like the jalapeno and pineapple, but the pineapple is just weaker than the dominoes topping. So I'm going to go seven

to six okay place still around the they're close. I mean I honestly think these two are close and it's funny because one is seen as kind of a nicer place. Yeah, and is is definitely kind of this this hyped up right now right and the other one is a place that people make fun of all the time. Yeah, it's true X factor. You got to go. Well, I don't know. This is the tricky thing is dominoes have done so much for pizza. It's true. It's the X factor is like the dominoes app. The there's there's so much like they they basically started the you know

I know that side stay on the sideline, but they started buff lowing delivery in a lot of ways. There's a lot of things, but then also blaze is an interesting thing where it's a Chipotle style lunch pizza lunch every like and I don't think that that should be a thing because we're we're eating pizza for lunch today. What the fuck probably shouldn't be. We shouldn't be. I've learned that from this that you shouldn't eat pizza, but it's still but it's still an option for like if you, you know, like a family pizza night out and every every one remember the family gets their own kind of a pizza. Yeah, I'm going to give the

edge to dominoes nine for dominoes seven for blaze. Okay, but that doesn't necessarily mean I think all my domino scores a higher, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to win right because I want to say this about because it is it is simple. It's just simple and it is tasty. It's not. Yeah, it's not. It's not bad. It's it's good. It is good. It's good right and and and I think that that like all the ingredients are above average like every every part of it is above average, but is that does that be dominoes? I feel like the appearance wise. I can actually do find a blaze fairly visually

appealing. I think dominoes is just like what a pizza should look like. I'm going to say I'm going to say seven blaze six dominoes cheese. I'm going to say I actually really like the balance of cheese on the blaze pizza. I think the dominoes is is pretty good as well. I'm going to say this is even at eight eight sauce. I'm going to give the edge to blaze just because I think it's like it's like a more standard sauce, but I think it absolutely, you know, just it gets the job done. Too much other shit going on in the domino. Yeah, and I think the I think the I think that it's well distributed on the blaze. So

I'm going to say that's an eight to six dough slash crust. I'm going to give the edge mildly to blaze just because I like the I like the char on it and I'm a big I'm a big char guy and I would say to me that's a nine for blaze and a seven for dominoes toppings. I'm going to give a slight edge. I think I actually think I enjoyed what I was getting from dominoes more this round. And I think I'm going to say it's a it's it's seven point five to eight in dominoes favor X factor. I mean, I love the upstart nature of blaze. I love the juggernaut factor of dominoes being this established premier brand in chain pizza. To me, this is a push. I'm

giving them both nines nine to nine. Wow. And hey, you know, I don't have much knowledge of the NCAA system, but I certainly know about the UCB school. Oh my God. I think both of these pizzas graduate 401, make it to the advanced study program and make it to callbacks for Harold auditions. Wow, no one will get that for care. I didn't even make a Harold team. They came close though. They were encouraged to reapply next time. All right. So Carl, hit us with your X factor here in my X fact. Yes, one X factor. This is going to tip my choice. This is why I chose

this to save it to the end because this is the choice right right. Well, we are going to say together we're going to go three to one and then say where we want, but it's okay. I still I still want to hear this. It's okay. It's okay if you tip your choice. That's fine because I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I don't know where Nick's going to vote. Yeah, I don't know where Mitch is going to vote. All right. Well, here it is. I the both of these places had X factors. One is not good and one is amazing. So the X factors is what makes my choice. Uh huh. The X factor for Domino's is the change. I don't like the way it tastes

anymore. I mean, it's because I'm used to the classic right Domino's taste. Yep. Can I eat a piece of Domino's if it's around? Absolutely. Yeah, but it's just and hey, instead of instead of changing the whole way your pizza tastes, why just not tell all your employees to just do a better job of making the pizza. Sure. So so the shit doesn't stick to the roof of the box. Yeah, that's and tell them to come on time. Yeah, and bring back the Noid. Yeah, I think we all agree. Bring back the Noid Domino's. I'm going to give Domino's a special shout out to for the 90s in the 90s. During on BET, they would

have black driven commercials that were always great. Like it was like, it's gotta be, gotta be Domino's Buffalo wings. Remember those commercials? Yeah, of course. Well, on BET, it was like it's gotta be. Yeah, it's like in fun singing Domino's and it was like at a black college and all these black kids like passing around slices of pizza. Man, that makes me want to go to college and then always like the old black guy voice it in like Domino's proudly supports the United Negro College fund and it's like that's when I like Domino's. That's how it tasted when I liked it. I like that you gave

Weigar another band to Google with in and Vogue. I've heard of and Vogue, you know, never gonna get it. Now I get it, you know in vogue. Anyway, they that's the X factor for me. The X factor for blaze, which is I'm also biased to. It's not the greatest pizza in the world. It is not. I won't sit here and say it is. Don't even recommend people go to it, except for this reason. You know who backs blaze pizza? I may have this may be something I touched on a man trail. The King himself. Yep. LeBron James. Oh, no, 10% steak

and oh, God, he just came out and said he was going to take it outside the US. So Mitch, you thought I was going to stay in Pasadena, but us West Coast boys already know is going to the West Coast of Canada, Vancouver. Laid back move. You know what? When he takes those pizzas out of the country, he should stay there. Goodbye LeBron. Hey, Mitch is a LeBron and shut up in dribble shut up and don't dribble. I say I'm a Celtics fan. I'm not going to like LeBron James, but that's not going to

sway me as there's probably a lot of investors and blaze and LeBron is a good guy. I don't dislike LeBron. One of the investors in blaze is a one of the owners of the Red Sox. Perhaps I don't know. I'm Warner Tom Werner great, which also by the way, if when people give Boston racist shit, the Red Sox are the were the racist organization because they had a bad owner right. Yeah, the Yaki shouldn't be. It shouldn't be Yaki way. So I don't know enough about MLB to know what you're referencing. Yeah, there the Red Sox, the Red Sox or we're we're bad with some of that stuff

and now is just the Patriots. The Patriots were never the Patriots were never bad with that. They're their their owners, their owners, their owners, their owners, a Trump supporter, which probably most football teams owners are the majority of the right Trump supporters. You have to think. Yeah, that all those rich, white, old millionaires and billionaires are they get the payers get a lot of shit. We have there's a lot of there's a lot of whiteness. Look, we're not going to get it. The Celtics are great. So there we go. Disagree. Yeah, but what do you mean?

Disagree? They I mean, they're a franchise with a story to history, but I'm not going to be in progressive history. Well, there's there's a bed. There's well, whatever. We're not going to get into this. I I honestly, I don't know what Nick is going to say right now. I know that you're going to say blaze when we do this countdown. Well, and I wonder because well, we'll see. Let's let's let's do the count. Let's get to it. Let's get to it because this is the most excited. I've been in this old tournament. So for me, what this is here? So here's all I'll say for me.

All this decision hinges on is is the pizza we're going to send as a representative. Is it the? Is it this classic sort of our understanding of pizza or is it the pizza perhaps of the future? We're going to find out. We'll count down from three to one and then we will say in unison, which of these pizzas we want to send to the leaning tower of pizza to prop it up and make it straight and make it straight again. And which of these we want to condemn to the fate of being sent to underneath the Eiffel Tower

where the French will scoff at it. Boston will say our answer in three two, one, Domino's and blaze for you. Why are you fucking loser? Yeah, I can hate you. I thought of these pizzas and this is what it was because I so full of shit. I like Domino's, but I based on my two experiences eating blaze and based on this one head to head. I enjoy blaze more than Domino's. This is a set up. It's not a set up at all. You brought this LeBron James fan in here. Wait a minute. Carl's a Clippers fan and a LeBron James fan. He was not wrong.

Weigert Domino's is so much more a representation of what we are as a representation of what we are, but maybe we should be throwing out there what we aspire to be. That's so such trash. Nick is the heat blaze is the blade is so is so forgettable. It's such a forgettable pizza. It's a forgettable pizza. It's going to get fucking destroyed the next round. We're going to see because blaze is moving on to the finals. That's insane, but Domino's survives to fight another day in Fat Chance kitchen. No way. It's way back in the final match. Way back into the final match. Wait, so it's going to be

blaze versus something versus. It's going to be three way, right? It'll be. It'll be a three way melee on the three way manly final. Oh, you sex freaks love blaze. This is fucked up. You know how many inches you get. Oh, I'm sorry. Give me one second. Weigert's plugging something into his neck. He's plugged it into his neck. All right. All right. Hey, you know that Alexa. I can control my Roomba with Alexa and I was just wondering if I could probably control you as well. Alexa start Nick Weigert self suck. Sorry. What's the full name? She said it was in the other room. I got alexis

all over the place in here. You got too many alexis. I got too many alexis. All right, go ahead. Hey, what are you going to do? What was all that microphone noise and plugging in Mitch? I did. I plugged that ox cord into my laptop because it's time for regular segment. We've got a spicy food stuff and we're going to decide if it's hot or not. Me mouth on fire. Me tongue on fire feeling hot or not. They see us tasting their mind is racing. Is it hot or not? I hated what I hated that you're moving your head back and forth. Just getting into the rhythm of the meat. I'm not sure I am deaf now. I know that that came

in real hot up top. I apologize for that. All right. So we've got a couple of Carl. I know you're someone who likes your wings hot. We'll see if you like your chips hot. We've got these Doritos blaze. Who goes blaze Doritos blaze. Hey, how about that? It's a sign. Oh, really? Or is it a setup? Nothing was set up here. I said what was in my heart. We've also got these Cheetos extra flaming hot. I have not had either of these. These are supposedly twice as hot and we're going to take a bite of each of these bad boys and offer our assessment. So Carl, I'm going to pass these your way. I'm going to take one of the Cheetos extra flaming

hot right now and then I'll send these around as well. These look, I mean, they look visually identical to the standard Cheetos flaming hot. They've got like that sort of dark red coating, that cayenne colored coating. And then Mitch send those blaze back this way when you're done with them. There's definitely some real heat to these Cheetos crunchies. The blaze I think are new. I'm doing a few blaze. I think these extra flaming hot have been around for a while. Bring another blaze. It says these are cataclysmically crunchy and like licking a volcano. I mean they're really, really going for it in the ad copy. It's

definitely a different sort of heat you're getting from the blaze. The blazer is kind of like a, it takes a second for the heat to kick in. It's also got like, to me, like the first flavor I get from the blaze biting into it because the Cheetos, they taste like that flaming hot Cheetos, just a hotter version of it. These kind of have like a pico de gallo character to them when you take that first bite and then they sort of settle in. They've got that sort of slow burn. It tastes like what they, you ever eat munchies? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Flaming hot munchies. That's what they, because the Doritos have always tasted weird in those

to me. That's the flavor of the Doritos in the, in the flaming hot munchies. They get a little pretzels on you. They're good. I like both of them. I think I like the blaze more, but I'm not sure if they're, the heat is actually as intense from the blaze. I mean, they're really putting, I don't know. I think you, well, okay, now that, now that Cheeto, now the Cheeto, they're kind of similar. I, they're kind of, they're kind of similar. Yeah. You got to, you got to, but you have to eat both and then give a second to each. No, I've had these, I've had this one sitting and, and, and I do get that it, you know, it's, it's much like

that podcast about Watergate. It is a slow burn, but slate plus members know what I'm talking about, but the suck, but, but the, but the, the blazes, like I think that it's still not as intense as the Cheetos. They're both, they're both a decently spicy though for a mainstream chip. I'll say this. I'm usually Doritos guy. Ranch Doritos, my favorite Dorito. But if he had to make me choose between the two of those, all right, now I'm getting heat. I just took a sip of the water and the Cheetos kicked in a little bit. Yeah. If I had to choose between the two of these, I go with those Cheetos hands down. I just a better

taste to me than the, than the Doritos blaze. The blaze don't taste good. I feel like I had to try the Cheetos again. Carl, can you see this way? Yeah, let me try this. I like, I really like the, I don't know. I like the flavor of the Doritos. I just, I think the heat is better. I think the heat is more intense from the Cheetos, but let me try another one. These Cheetos, they're both, they are, you know, though they both are, we get stuff on here and that it's not that spicy. They're both spicy. Well, yeah, especially from the Frito-Lay Corporation, which is catering to mainstream taste. I think there has been

like something of, for the longest time, there was, there was kind of this, you know, they would market things as super hot as like, searing hot as like, like abanero pepper, you know, chips and they just wouldn't be hot at all, especially in fast food that's still pervasive. But I think they've kind of, I think the American mainstream has accepted spicier foods a little bit more. I'm going to rate, so Carl, our rating as we go from not, not, not, which is the least hot. All the way up to hot, hot, hot and anything intermediary. So not, not, not, hot, hot, hot or hot, hot, hot. I think I'm going to say hot for Doritos

Blaze and hot, hot for Cheetos Crunchy Extra Flamin' Hot. I'm going to say not for Blaze and hot for Cheetos. Yeah. Just because I can take it. Right. This was, let's take you back to a simpler time. Yes. 2002. Every day after middle school, palms middle school, shout out to palms middle school, West Side of Los Angeles. I used to live in palms. Yeah. That's where I went to middle school. We stopped, we stopped at the 7-Eleven right there overland and I know that 7-Eleven. Every single day they'd hold us. They don't let us in two at a time because people steal, children steal. But we come in

meal of the day, bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos, a honey bun and a Pepsi blue. Ooh, take your bag. Pepsi blue. Yeah. So I'm used to these. Right. It's not bad for me. Yeah. So I'm going to go not on the Doritos, hot on the Cheetos. So it seems like you've got the same relative heat level, but you just, your gauge to heat is a little bit, mine's perhaps a little bit more, I'm a little bit more sensitive to heat than you are. That's what, that's what I gather from that. Mitch, what do you think? I'm going to give half, half hot to Doritos Blaze and a hot and a quarter to Cheetos. Well, now I feel like I overscored it. If

you're going hot and a quarter for Cheetos and I'm going hot, hot. I mean, it's like hot, hot, hot. The one time we had those like, what was it? The jerk? It was the jerky and that was like, that was like the levels where it's like, that is like insanely hot. But then also like we, it's that this is the tricky thing with this because it is spicy. Right. It is hot. Oh, you know what? Here, I'll give Doritos hot and then Cheetos hot and a half. All right. Have y'all done the one chip challenge yet? What's the one chip challenge? Oh, no. Oh, Paki ghost pepper Carolina Reaper. Yeah. Oh, wow. The Manny Pacquiao.

Is it because I was like, is it Paki? It's, it's how do you say it? Oh, it may be. It's maybe it's just said is it Paki or is it said Paki? Yeah, Paki Paki. Yeah, but it said the chips. We had the chips on here. Oh, it's it's like PAQ UI. Yeah. Paki. Oh, yeah. I think it's Paki, but yeah. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. I haven't tried that yet. I did do it. Yeah. I was surprised at how I made it through. It's a slow burn like the Watergate podcast. But it also it hits you a little bit, but I also made it through like surprising. I was nervous and I'm not one of these people who's like, man, I, yo,

I could eat hot food. I'm not that guy. Right. So I brought like two big Gatorades, a milk, a baby bell cheese, like I was like some popcorn. I was like, I'm going to cover my mouth and stuff to try to, and I didn't need it. I didn't eat a lot of stuff. I took a few steps to the Gatorade, but I was fine. Do you just have, you literally have one chip? Is that what this is? Cause they say it's so hot. That's all you can take. Wow. It's just one chip. When you watch people online and take the chip challenge, they're all like steam come out of your ears.

It is. That is Bugs Bunny. Yeah. I, I wonder with that, it's interesting because they do, they just sell it as the single chip. We should do it. Why? I wonder if it would maybe it would be, maybe it would be the one of those triple, the elusive triple hot. Let's try it. Let's try the chips challenge. Hey, Hey, coming soon to do boys, the chip challenge coming soon. And we're, I mean, we'll probably forget to do it coming soon. It remind us to do it. See, do you say do boys do the challenge?

Just don't remind us to do it. Forget you heard this. Why did it get so sad immediately? Well, cause I just sort of, I, this was like, it feels like a signature thing of ours is that we'll bring something up and then not follow up on it. All right, fine. Don't throw your water bottle. Hey, you know what? That was hot or not. Just like a restaurant about your feedback. Let's open up the feedback and hey, we got a voicemail this week.

Let's listen to this one. Hopefully this won't come in too, too loud. All right, here we go. Hey fellas, love the show. Just wanted to know, what's your favorite sleepover snack? Thanks guys. Hmm. So menacing laugh at the end there. What the hell? Favorite sleepover. Who is that? We just don't know who it is. I mean, it's whoever called the, the dough boys when you leave the voicemail today, who you are and where you're from. Yeah. You know, if you call eight, three, zero, go dough.

Yeah. Give us your name. That'll help give it a little context, but thank you, sir. I'd Carl, anything come to mind. I mean, it's certainly more of a question. I feel, I feel like for your youth, but any sleepover snack of choice. Oh man, sleepover snacks, rice, crispy treats. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, rice, crispy treats for the sleepover snack, especially if we made, if we made them ourselves, right?

Like mom would give us the keys to the stove. Oh yeah. And we put out some marshmallows and butter and stuff. It would be me, my friends, you know, boys, it wasn't like we was doing like cooking sleepovers. Right. I always love to cook. And so society, society tells us that boys at a sleepover shouldn't be cooking. Yeah. Yeah. I was always an outlier. I would make my friends rice, crispy treats. Right. Yeah, there is something.

Those homemade ones are so much better than the prepackaged ones. So remember the prepackaged ones came out? I was like, oh, this is great, a real time saver. And then you have them just like man, these really do not come here. It tastes good. Yeah. Yeah, even though I got a sauce buffer, the home, the package ones. Oh, they, they work. They're fine, but they mean they're just they're, they're not nearly as good. It's like a chip ahoy versus a home baked chocolate chip cookie when you control how much butter

you put in. That's what makes it a home made rice, crispy treat and you taste the butter. That shit is fine. I think that's a great answer. You know, it's funny because I think pizza wings, which, you know, we, we mentioned today is a big sleepover thing, but that's not a snack. Wings were never a thing for me growing. I don't think until adulthood, wings, wow, it was always, it was always like for takeout. It was always like if we were getting pizza, it was just pizza where we weren't usually getting subsides, but as far as snack goes, you

know, I remember like, you know what it was so much of it was like microwaved popcorn. Oh, yeah, sure snack. Yeah, that's a good one. That was a big one and we go, I would go over the two foes. I used to sleep over and Mrs. Toofa will always make up some popcorn. It was great like on the stove thing. Yeah, yeah, like either was either stove pop. Yeah, I think it was just stove popped. Not not the brand still pop. I feel like it was like she made popcorn on the stove. Popcorn is a big one. What else? I also you know what else I feel like is

like big in that area besides like you'll bring down like a bunch of like chips, a hoiser cookies or whatever that you'll toss out to people, but that wouldn't be anything. But I think like another area that's big is like like hot pocket slash pizza bread is or pizza rolls. Yeah, stuff like that. Like like frozen finger food with so much of the snacks that yeah that you like it would be like I'm having to sleep over or whatever and like my dad had bought, you know, maybe he bought some like frozen buffalo right or something like that. Yeah, yeah. I mean that that brings me back to you know,

I've been in my teen years of having friends over and wheeling the PC from the home office into the living room. So after my parents went to bed, we could play Dark Forces and Jesus Christ and having dark images in my head right now. You know what we well, we'd have some some microwave to Keto's that was a go to. It's a good snack. Nice and filling. I feel like on the sweet side, I feel like just a lot of like, you know, individual candy. I feel like I remember a lot of peanut butter cups, those individual peanut butter cups or like M&M's just like any sort of

especially if it was like lingering from something that was for your holiday stash and it was just still in the cabinet. That'd be the time to go to take that out and go to town on it. Did y'all parents like or these like parent parental like guys, alright, I'm gonna make some snacks. I mean, Oh, no, no, this was like kid initiated. I mean, I feel like if parents were involved, it was usually ordering something. I don't remember ever like having friends over and our parents making a big meal. No, we used to, I think our parents, all me and my closest friends, we all had like pretty

young parents. And so like they used to just like, alright, you kids, babysit each other. Yeah, right. We go out finally. Like, yeah, that's that's my parents would usually go out or something like that. I mean, despite if I was really young, maybe, you know, I mean, this is like 11 middle school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that definitely happened to me that. Hey, that's the first time I saw pornography. Jesus said my friend's house and they his parents wanted to go on a little dinner date and left us alone with his older brother and his older brother's friend and put on some

porno tapes. Wasn't there a dark story behind that? Yeah, it was and you can't say it. I remember what it was. It was his. It was as it ended up being his dad's gay porn stash. Oh, that's right. Shit. Alright, well, on that note, if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doeboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go doe. That's 830 463 6844. And hey, the Tournament of Chompians continues on the Doughboys double for more much madness action and access to all of our weekly bonus episodes. Join the Golden Plate Club

at patreon.com slash Doughboys Carl Tartt. Always a treat to have you here. Thank you, man. God bless you. A podcast all star. Yep. Thank you for making time for us. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time? No, just follow me on social media at dammit call d a m m i t c a r l and you'll find out stuff there. I'll talk about it is very funny man. I so I can't believe you. You're a Clippers fan, but you love LeBron LeBron James is a is the salt of the earth. He is an amazing person and he should make me salty. Yeah, but at least you're not like a genuine like the people who I

think the most are just LeBron haters, right? Who just like literally just hate this man like literally like it burns them up inside the hate. I'm like you have a reason your your team is in the league. Your team will never make it out of the east. So it's podcast is over. I'll do it for this episode of Doughboys and next time for this food man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya.