Doughboys - Munch Madness X: Wendy's VS In-N-Out Burger with Jon Gabrus and Betsy Sodaro

Episode Date: March 28, 2025

Munch Madness X: Wendy's VS In-N-Out Burger with Jon Gabrus and Betsy SodaroJon Gabrus (@gabrus, Action Boyz) and Betsy Sodaro (@BetsySodaro, We Love Trash) join the 'boys LIVE from Headgum Studios to talk The Monkey, snow sports, favorite burgers and fried chicken spots tackling the Final Region of Munch Madness X: The Tournament of Tournament of Chompions of Chompions.Get the replay for the next two weeks at moment.co/doughboysGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hey buddy, you can purchase the video replay of today's MunchMadness 10 finale, including the exclusive pre-show and post-show only at moment.co. slash doughboys. Enjoy the championship. Previously on Doughboys. Let's count down from three. We'll count down from three to one. And then we say it and show it. Who we think should win. Say it and show it.

Who is moving on to the live Munch Madness finale in three, two, one. In and out. In and out burger. Whoa. Whoa. You are the fool. Wow.

In and out burger, three to one, advancing. Taco Bell, double eliminated eliminated both Taco Bells Bell will not be the winner I heard there was an old commish That never would pass up a dish And when he ate he'd tell you, Hallelujah! His shirt had crumbs and mustard stains The bill would come and he'd abstain Munch madness, not the same oh, Halle-choo-ya Halle-choo-ya Halle-choo-ya Halle-choo-ya Halle-ja, Hallejuja

I met a stranger near the bog He dropped his pants and I sucked his hog He shot his wad and I said, Hey, I blew ya Then I saw his big green dick, the Gator got me with his trick. But isn't this about Susser? Right! Halle-choo-ya!

Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Gator blew ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya!

Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya! Halle-choo-ya!-eh-choo-ya. We're not giving up. And neither should you. March 2016. The first ever Doughboy's Tournament of champions munch madness burger brawl concludes with Golden State

Institution in-and-out burger besting then upstart New York City export Shake Shack in a bun-on-bun battle March 2017 the tournament of champions established itself as an annual tradition and much madness chicken fight ends with a pivotal battle in which Columbus Ohio's own Wendy's defeats the pre-chicken sandwich pride of New Orleans Popeyes Then we do seven more of these. But none of them ended up mattering, whether the winner was given to the Cenobites to convert them to Catholicism, or force fed to Austin Butler to shake him out of character

as Elvis slash Fade Ralph the Harkonnen. Because as the Tournament of Tournament of Champions of Champions reaches its climax, after witnessing the shocking ejection of both Taco Bell seeds, it's those first two winners who are the last chain standing. Will In-N-Out Burger be in and prove that it really is what a hamburger is all about? Or be out and relegated to

regional curiosity? Will the house that Dave Thomas built once again hoist its namesake prize, the most prestigious trophy and chain restaurant podcasting the Dave Thomas Cup? Or will the Cinderella story end with a little redheaded girl losing her glass slippers? Both chains were founded by Christian conservatives and are beloved by Christian conservatives, namely me and Mitch. Well they better hope Almighty God is on their side tonight. The winner will be given to the first organism who dared to emerge from the sea to stride upon land and inspire them to return to the sea and create an underwater utopia transmuting Earth into mirth.

The loser won't have that happen. One of these restaurants will become the only canonical reheat champion. This is for all the dough boys. There's only one word that can possibly convey the gravity of this moment. Wow! This week on Dough Boys, live from Head Gum, the finale of Munch Madness 10, MMX, the tournament of tournament of champions of champions, Totcock, In-N-Out Burger, Wendy's, bring the damn bell! Go is the Doughnut Wars! Double the Doughnut Wars! Double the Doughnut Wars! Double the Doughnut Wars! Double the Doughnut Wars!

Wow! Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Heaven Susser. Wow. The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Wow. That's beautiful. A touching toast from Danny, RoastedBirdFuck.com. Mitch,

this is the finale of Munch Madness 10, MMX, the tournament of champions of champions, Totcock. Totcock. Wow. It's the final. Oh my god, why is this here? It's the finale. Is the last one ever? Maybe. This might be the last one ever. This might be the last Munch Madness we do. We don't know. Ten years, who cares? We don't have to do it again. This is certainly the most consequential Munchunch madness in history because this will be the only reheat champion. Chompien, rather. I'm sorry. Emma, let me take that again. Reheat Chompien.

Emma, you're the second take. This is live. This is live. It's live, Wags. Put your top hat on. Oh, right. I gotta put my top hat on. How's everybody doing out there? I'm not buying your tonic, sir. Look at how big it makes my cock. That big?

It's pretty big. Couple quick bits of business. If you're having audio issues and you're using Apple AirPlay, try turning that off. So that's fixed things for some people. Also, right after the main show ends, we are doing a reverse call in post show on the same stream. So that's right. Stick around. We're calling you. Text this number that's on screen with your name and a one sentence question and we're going to call you back later tonight. Possibly. So stick around for that. Also, Casey... Yes, Wikes, announce it!

Give us an update on your Kickstarter. Uh, we blew past our goal. Wow! We are pushing $53,000. Wow! Congratulations! We're making the movie. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much, Donnie Gatty.

Oh, the URL makes sense now. Hell yeah. If you need some big fat slobs to be a pretty good at that. If you need Mitch's dick to appear smaller in a scene, I could stunt that. I've done it for him with multiple sexual partners. I know you're a huge horror fan. I've done it for him with multiple sexual partners I know you're a huge horror fan. I don't know if you've seen any of the test footage that Casey shot No! I think you'll love it

Yeah, you'll love it It's a joe inspired horror film. It's got a great aesthetic. It's shooting on video. It looks rad Congratulations Casey CaseyMakesMovies.com if anyone is eager to toss in Sylvester Kasch getting even further Well, yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to step on that. Congrats Casey. Fantastic news. Well deserved CaseyMakesMovies.com if anyone is eager to toss in Sylvester Kaschke even further. Well yes, sorry, I didn't mean to step on that. Congrats Casey, fantastic news, well deserved. I think I could do without all of you guys

and without all the Doughboys fans. Thank you to the listeners, that's awesome. You know when a show is on its last legs and it's like the idea of adding a poochie and we've added two poochies? For episode 10 we're bringing in two motion captured pandas. For episode 10 we're bringing in two motion captured pandas. Shurps up man, you trekkers are. What's up? We're snow and sand.

Should bounce off the guy who bores the other pilgrims. You know what man, I do like taxation with representation. Alright Mitch, we got a lot of show to get to. We should play your drop. You like taxation with representation. Hahahaha Alright Mitch we got a lot of show to get to. We should play your drop. Oh right that's right Wags. Emma hit him with the drop. Oh that's right. 10 years in. Wayne Brady is outside.

He's dressed like a minion. Is he coming in? Oh my god. It is almost, it's minion coded. It's like a cool minion. It's like a cool minion look. When I a cool minion look when I talk to you again I will beat your ass in public Wayne Brady's dress exactly I almost thought it was a joke. Yeah, you don't know where I grew up You don't know my story and how dare you say that don't waste you do some of that, too

You punched at me wake you up fool you got thrown off by the way no way This is not good he hit Mary in the face Wow, well Look here's the issue. I didn't listen. I wanted to be surprised for the show Yeah, and I didn't listen to it, but Look, here's the issue. I wanted to be surprised for the show. Yeah. And I didn't listen to it, but then we had no way of hearing it. No, it was on headphones.

We definitely had a way. You forgot we had headphones. We had no way of. If we weren't wearing headphones, we had no way of hearing it. Mitch, that's a great point. Thank you. I got it.

Games in the chat. I hope Conover doesn't need the room soon. We can assure you, Adam Conover does not need the studio after us. We have all the time we need. We're not in the Cunover clock for once. We need all the studios. Wrong!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Did you see those carpenters in here earlier raising the doorways to accommodate his hair? It's in his contract. So the contractors are the people raising the doorway, the only head to accommodate his hair. It's in his contract. So the contractors are the people who are raising the doorways, the only head gum employees here. Hey, Nick's in a fucking tuxedo and now one person from the office sticks around. Oh, it was empty when I arrived for tech.

when I arrived for tech The only way to hear that was with headphones, but the issue is is that they got the new Conover headphones which have like a big They only accommodate a huge pompadour It's for Conover and Max Headroom only I think Guile from Street Fighter wears them too And Kid Or Play, whichever one it was That was fucking racist Oh look it's been It was kid

Oh Jesus, he's gonna be in his head He's gonna be in his head for the rest of the show I'll say something more racist than him shortly That was Christopher Kidd Reed I remember that, cause he was on Politically Incorrect Yes Now my memories are turning to me Your brain is now, you've shocked him into order.

It's been double trouble, oh, shout out the drop. Jesus Christ, let me read the fucking drop. We've got so much show to get to, Mitch. Put your headphones on and read the drop. Hi, please enjoy this drop with love. He says his full name, I'm gonna say it, Ian Bower. Wow, thanks Ian, great job. Ian Bower.

Jack Bower's son. Ooh. You're not gonna wear the hat the rest of the thing? You look funny. It's really uncomfortable. Oh yeah. Like my, like. Jemmy's in a tux.

Did you try this on? Did people notice that Jemmy's in a tux? I think people noticed it. People noticed that Jemmy's in a tux. Maybe if she gets up we'll see it. Yeah, Mitch put it on earlier and I thought he was an ape bouncer. People are saying in the chat.

Did you say suspenders? The suspenders and the little tiny top hat on Mitch's big head. People in the people are saying in the chat People in the chat are saying Mitch's mic is quiet I don't know if that's just your individual You know what what you're dealing with on your individual stream or if that's an actual thing and now I'm still quiet Well, thank you that you know, maybe we just figure out how to enjoy the next few hours without telling us shit You know, maybe we just figure out how to enjoy the next few hours without telling us shit like that. BOTH LAUGH Mitch, did you try this hat on? I'll try the hat on again.

It's really uncomfortable. I'm gonna take this off. I'm barely getting any O2 in here with this bow tie. Let me see if we can toss this. Wow! That was perfect. This is like Benny and June. BOTH LAUGH Eggs Benny and... I don like Benny and George six layers wrong here you're talking about the Simpsons then of my son man my son man you being the mayor of Dumpey'sville it's been double trouble, all much madness long. And that reaches its final form today.

John Gabras, Betsy Sodaro, our guest. Wow. Wow. What a twosome. My sister from another mister. Yeah, my brother from another mother. Yeah. We're actually, stab siblings. We've said that enough times that we realize,

oh, that's a real thing. And we're that. That means we can fuck if it's on Pornhub. She's my stepsister. It's tacky in real life. And it may be acceptable on moment.co slash Doughboys. I'm not sure. We don't know. Wags, I asked for lactate.

Sus, a mensch, went out and grabbed me a dairy aid. Wait, I'm sorry. Canonically dead Evan susser grabbed you Which maybe you're seeing things you must have imagined some sort of maybe Amelia did it Amelia got it you were thinking of susser Okay, so my koshko joke is gonna work either. Oh, yeah. Well you maybe should have shelved that one anyway I should have shelved that one anyway. Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Oh there's some taking out of this already

These are condoms? Hahahaha It's for fucking cows Hahahaha You don't want to get Dairy Aids This is a condom? Who the fuck? Who do you think I am? John Holmes? This is fucking gigantic I think you're supposed to put your balls in it too.

I'm just kidding, I haven't worn a condom in 20 years. I don't even know what they're like anymore. So, okay. They feel great. Yeah. You have one on now, right? I have one on now, I do. Like people wear sunscreen, I put a condom on every day,

just in case. I wanna talk movies real quick Finally we were talking we were talking black bag early. You just got bagged Betsy. You've gotten bagged. No, I hear it's great Oh my god, I'll get bagged. I'll get bagged. Casey, you get bagged and tag it? I'm probably gonna get bagged this week. Hell yeah. Wow I promise you you're gonna get tagged after bro Hahahaha You're it, bitch. I really like Black Bag.

I wanted to get your thoughts though on something. Mitch and I went to a rep screening at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Museum. Incredible thing that you can go to in the city of LA that I try to take advantage of. And Mitch, Bong Joon-ho was there, along with John Carpenter, and they had a pre-show conversation

It was great and absolutely delivered and then just seeing that movie with an absolutely packed house With that energy in 4k was so fantastic Mitch. We met a couple of doughboys fans there. Yeah, no way One was in the fucking mezzanine with a sniper rifle. You know what? Never mind. John Carpenter was like, they're trying to make an escape from New York with a woman. And he said, I think that's a bad idea. And then I got up and I cheered. He made the point in a cranky old man way, but we got what he was saying,

which is just that Hollywood is just recycling old ideas. And then the most obvious thing is like, oh, what if we inverted the gender? So I got what he was saying, but he did say it in a way that was like, all right, dude. I loved it. I was having a blast. At the time Hollywood made my movie, The White Clumps.

Shit, I mean, if White Clumps comes out, I mean, we're- You audition for it. You can't buy your way in like you did with Casey's movie. You can audition for it. It would be awesome to hear, I'm in the mix for White Clumps. You're in the mix? Oh, sweet. They offered it to Gad. And Gad took it.

He can sing. So can Mitch. You saw the pre-show. This is my Olaf. I'm sorry, I read that wrong. This is my oaf. You have the script? Yeah, Amelia handed me a 600 page final draft

of what I wanted. Yeah, Amelia handed me a 600 page final draft when I walked in. I saw Gad's memoir at my local bookstore, and I just opened it up. I was like, I'm just going to read the last page, see how this wraps up. Funny. And it ends with, tell him Gad sent you. I was like, all right.

If you're out of Wendy's. Wait, wait, wait. What do you all think of the thing? Because I love love it and it was incredible to see it on the big screen I'm obsessed with the movie. I love that movie so much. I got to see it on the big screen Oh, wow at like an AMC. Yeah, no at Arclight when they used to do Horror movies during October. Yeah, and it was so cool. I haven't seen that one in the big I want to so bad. Yeah Here's some cuties look in that movie is just fucking ape shit. I need a hat and a beard and glasses like that

I'm trying He looks fucking cool. It was great seeing it in that I see that so many times that all the big jump scare moments We're at that big, but I'll tell you jump scare moment I had on the screen an advertisement for the 20 year anniversary of the 40 year old virgin Yeah, the 40 year old version is 60 60 now the 60 year old guy who only fucked once Couldn't get that shit made now if you take Scott wrinkles, but it ain't from getting wet. That gets the bitchy thumbs up. I'm warning you. You get it?

Me and Betsy went to see John Carpenter one Halloween, and we dressed up as Carpenter characters, and I dressed up as the dog guy from Thing, whose name I forgot. And I made a little wolf puppet that had like all its intestines and like red strings It was so fun I'm going he's playing again this year. I'm God. Let's go the 25th of October. I already have tickets Is banned with the Sun yeah, yeah, it's with with his son. Yeah, yeah. It's a blast. I'm in.

That's awesome. We had a great night, Wags. I mean, the movie was awesome. 4K screening of it. John Carpenter's. We went with our buddy, Jeff Dutton, and Kelsey had a great time. Kelsey, yeah.

Yeah, they, and Bong Joon-ho asked Carpenter on stage, this is news online already, but he was like, will you be the composer for my next movie? I'm making a horror movie. And Carpenter said yes. Maybe not composer, was that but he was like will you be the composer for my next movie? I'm making a horror movie and Carpenter said yes, maybe not composer was that what is where you score I think you say these score something I imagine what will actually happen in practice is he does like a theme I don't know if he's gonna score as a whole movie, but maybe you will I don't fucking Conover is here I'm just I'm just trying to think of like is John Carpenter going to score an entire movie that comes out in three or four years?

I don't know. John Carpenter, legendarily self-proclaimed lazy. Yeah, yeah. He's like one of my idols. And he's like one of those few directors that you want to hear talk. You're like, because his attitude about it, there's that famous poll quote that's going around about him.

He's like, how do you feel that your movies have reached cult status? And his response, like, I guess it's better than being considered a piece of shit. Yeah. That is so funny. I read there was an interview with him in Fangoria a couple of years ago about his music.

Yeah. And the interviewer was asking all these really detailed questions. And he kept just being like, I don't know. I like to just make music. And I was like, this dude's so cool. The questions were like this long on the page, and his answer was like that long.

He rules, man. Yeah, he told us at one point that he was like, we got two minutes and 20 seconds left, which is good, because I'm going to go meet my drug dealer. That's what he literally said on stage. It was a Saturday night. There's a packed house watching his movie. He's going to go home, get high, and try to platinum

Assassin's Creed shadows. He is a crazy gamer. Yeah, exactly. All he does is smoke weed, play video games, and make music with his kids. Seems like a pretty decent life. Hey, hey, he's doing all right for himself. Yeah.

It was a blast. We should have probably, I wish you guys could have come. No, I think you invited me, but I couldn't. We did invite you. We did invite you. Sorry, Betsy, sorry. Oh, wow, weird. Maybe I wasn't looking at my phone. I was skiing with Betsy.

Doing cocaine. Yeah, we go skiing man. Betsy, speaking of horror movies. Yes. Is this true that you loved The Monkey? Yeah, I saw it twice. You saw The Monkey twice? Oh my god.

I know one of those times you saw it with Gilly. Yes. A recent guest on Doughboy's Double. Did Gilly like The Monkey? She hated it. Immediately she was like, why did you bring me? And I was like, I thought you might laugh a little bit. The kills are so fun and funny.

I know. That's four good moments. I did like a lot of the kills. I just felt like it's. I don't know how to say this better. I felt like I was watching a porno that was just a compilation of cum shots. Just like, you know, I mean, it's just like, like, there's no like, you know what I mean? It's just like, there's no story here. A compilation. I was watching a compilation.

There's no story here. Like, I can't latch on to anything. No rules. Yeah, and I actually love rules in a horror movie. Just at least a little bit to know, like... And I was texting with Mitch about it, and I was like, I fully understand if somebody doesn't like this movie.

Right, yeah. I was just... There were, like, I fully understand if somebody doesn't like this movie. Right. Yeah. I was just, there were like the movie, scary movie level jokes and stuff. Yeah. Which I just think is the lady running with the baby at the end who's on fire. Yeah. Funny guys. That's funny. Yeah, I couldn't, we just could not get into it. We were all sitting next to each other and we all were like doing bits about leaving.

That's very bad. I was trying to jack off on the other end of the row. The Dope was an action boy, saw the five of us all saw it together and then went to dinner after it. With the five of us out, who was out getting pussy? Those five fucking legends are sitting in the monkey. Ladies can finally have a night off.

We had a lovely time, it was a lot of fun, but I could not believe how like locked in we all were to just despising the movie on the same level. Did the chat like the monkey? Let us know everybody. I'm curious. With those guys. Come on, the lady exploding as soon as she jumps

into the pool, that's funny. I liked Exploding Lady. I liked Exploding Lady. I thought it was not of, it was a less, and they're gonna make a new one of these by the way, but it was a not as good final destination. Oh, yeah, I'm so stoked I'm high for final. That's how many Todd's last movie watching all of them. Oh really? Yeah, right? I think I think unless he's I love I'm just speaking out of turn

He texted me and said he was his last movie Lot of men on the monkey someone to check MFP Seth in the chat loved monkey hated long legs that's Okay, I didn't like I like long legs more. I like length long legs more than monkey, but I didn't care for either one But I guess I was like I was like okay, maybe this isn't for me and monkey. I was like man I don't not get this at all. I know I know I once again I fully understand if people are like no way not for me, but I had such a blast. I love that you love it.

I can relate to that so much, because I'll be like, what's someone's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm reading the best book of my life. And they're like, what is it? And I'm like, you know what, don't even worry about it. Don't even worry about it. And they're like, wait, no, that's crazy.

I'm like, you're gonna absolutely hate it the second I start explaining it. I'm like, it's called Wind and Truth, it's book five in the Stormlight Archive. You know what, you had me at book. I was out at book. I had to take off my, I've taken my lactate, I had to take off my bow tie, which was making me not breathe.

Okay, so now you can breathe totally well. I should just be, I should wear my CPAP throughout the day. I've just come to learn. Go full Vader. When I'm laying in bed and I have it on, I'm like, oh, like my brain is functioning in a better way. Should I do a CPAP episode

or I just wear the CPAP for the episode? Yeah. Sure, let's pay wall that one. It sounds like an audio nightmare. Oh, well, you'll figure it out. Yeah, you'll do that, you see. You'll do that, you'll do that. Look, if you can figure out a CPAP that's also a microphone,

you're gonna make millions from podcasts. Wow. Yeah, everybody can stay laying down for the day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wives, I have soup belly going on. I might have to go to the bathroom again during this, during the... You just got kind of the bubble guts. You got a little, yeah. I mean, we've eaten like shit. Rumblies, if you will. The Rumblies, yes, yes.

The Rumbly Tumblies. Yes. We might inject me with my Fat Guy meds at the end of the podcast. If you would, yes. Because they're Rumblies. Rumbly Tumblies. Yes. You might inject me with my Fat Guy meds at the end of the podcast. If one of you wants to inject me. Stick around for that. That might be happening later.

Oh, it's an injection? It's an injection, yeah. I'll gladly do it. Do you think, is your stomach feeling wild because of those? It will. That's also a part of it. Yeah. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. I mean, it's a combo. I mean, also. Would your doctor say like, here, make sure you take your Fat Guy injection. And also, have six or eight different fast food meals Yeah, it sucks. I mean it's a combo. I mean also would your doctor say like here make sure you take your Fat guy injection and also have six or eight different fast food meals over the course of Really bad

All right, here we go now very close to my mouth arguably so let's have it. All right, here we go. It is now very close to my mouth. Arguably where it's supposed to be, and we're being weird about it. We're all talking directly into the microphone. Do people hear me better now? Are they happy? Don't ask them that. Don't open it up to that.

Say, are you having a good time? We love our listeners. We love our listeners. I love listeners, too. I don't care about chat. Thank you almost having me in the chat. Yeah. Who just watched this?

Why do you have to write to us? Just kidding. Let's talk Taco Bell. Oh. Yes. Wait, I don't know. You guys. Run for the board, Jimmy.

Run for the board, Jimmy. Run for the board, Jimmy. Come on, Jimmy. Howling at the moon. Yeah. Come on, Jimmy! Jimmy! Come on, Jimmy! Come on, Jimmy! Howlin' at the moon, baby. Yeah.

Taco Bell, guess what, guys? We got news for you. It's been retconned. The Munch Madness 9 Taco Bell. Doki Oro Taco Bell. The other finale we were on. That's right, last year's right. Last year's finale. That was last year. Last year's finale.

Holy shit. It has been retconned. The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is now the winner. Yes. I know. We re-litigated during Fat Chance Kitchen on a pre-show with Atlanta Johnston and the Knife. We re-litigated the finale of last year.

I wanted to get the Spicy potato taco back in there. I lost in a race to Mitch, and so it was not on the table. So it was beefy five layer burrito, which won cheesy gordita crunch and Doritos Locos taco supreme. I think of those three cheesy gordita crunch had the best day. But you know, so I think-

And sometimes with tournament champions, that's all that matters. I think it was a fair win. Okay. An earned win. But I wanna talk generally about Taco Bell. First off, Taco Bell had two seeds in this tournament, double eliminated. I know.

Once we knew we were gonna be in the finale, I was kind of like, I can't believe. It's actually very interesting for me and Betsy to be here on a non-Taco Bell episode. Well, we booked you, I think, assuming that it was going to be a Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Mirror match. And both Taco Bells got eliminated.

Can I tell you this? We would've had, of course I loved to have you on either way your roommate betrayed you You know, I know she's not out of the house And Wilma's willing to split Netflix finally Yeah, Gillilly's out. She's on the streets. Wow. Yeah. I mean, it was-

He's dead to me, but that's from something else we don't have to get into. All right. That's for our lawyers to sort out. It was a, look, I was shocked that we thought we were headed for Taco Bell versus, and I voted for Taco Bell twice. Yeah, it's true.

You voted twice, huh? We need poll watchers I volunteer to be a don't voice poll watcher We're red hat with five forks on it I'm not talking about the actual election. I voted zero times in that but for this I voted I did vote twice And I voted for Taco Bell twice and I was shocked wise. I thought we were gonna have a Taco Bell v Taco Bell Finale and that is not what happened. I have I gotta ask you guys this yes if This is a three-way tournament

Would and you don't have to say who your winner is right now in fact don't please don't okay? But would Taco Bell come out victorious against the other two tough. I would have had to have eaten it I'm not gonna say I didn't also have Taco Bell right before we came out. I ate both the competition meals. And then Amelia goes, there's also Taco Bell. I'm like, Amelia, you're fucking disgusting. Five minutes later, I'm just straight up eating Taco Bell. I need a little palate cleanser.

I brought a Frosty in to cool down. I will say this. I walked out and I knew you were here because I smelled I smelled that you were here Like gabris is here Emma came running out. I thought you would want a hand. She was like we're starting right now Seven hours of podcast engineering to fucking tackle here. All of it gold. And Mitch doesn't know about like how to be close to the mic. I could get close to the microphone. And they don't even tell me about the fucking headphones. I'm sitting here like a fucking chump. Tom I gave you nothing. For eagle eye viewers wise I wonder if they notice my different flannel. I'm wearing my good flannel. You changed flannels. You've swapped flannels since the pre-show. Oh, that's why that twin bed had the sheet ripped off. Oh my god.

My bed sheets are flannel. Cut two armholes and put it on. Can we ask about a couple of recent Talkable items? Sure. Cantina chicken menu and Crunchwrap sliders. Your thoughts? Have you had either of them? I got news for you.

Well, I just got news for you. The new Cantina, the red one, bad. I don't like it. I haven't had that yet. I don't like the sauce. I've ordered it twice and I think they kept forgetting to make it the red hot one. Wait, really? It was just the regular one.

Yeah. I love the sliders, dude. I love the sliders, dude. I love the sliders. I am the sliders of an ed. Sliders are good. Yeah. And I wanna put something in between, like make the sliders of buns of something.

Oh, that's a rule. I wanna put something in between. Okay, hold on, let me start this over. Okay, Chris, get your head outta the gutter. Sorry, it's there, sweetheart, now on Hulu. Shout out the Lester brothers on their film, The Gutter. I really love the mini Crunchwrap. Yes, those are fucking awesome.

They're so good. I was really pumped to see that announcement of the items that they're bringing back, these fucking cock teases over at Yum Brands. I can't wait. I'm very excited for the Cool Ranch Shell to come back. Thank God. Bring it back for good. What the fuck? for the cool ranch shell to come back. Thank God.

Bring it back for good. What the fuck? It should have been good. How fucking hard is that to just have around? The thing is like indestructible. Yes. Should we march in front of Taco Bell? Never mind.

I just realized what I was saying. I don't want to walk back and forth. We were already on strike and I barely couldn't fucking do that shit either. You wanna walk Taco Bell through the drive-through and just keep ordering stuff? That's the strike. We're circling Taco Bell and just ordering. Just keep getting to the end of the line.

I'm like, I'm gonna do some of those Cinnabon poppers. We should do this in the car. Wags, I think that Taco Bell, I'm shocked what happened with it. And I... look, Wiggs didn't... with, uh, when we were doing the, the, uh... what is it called? What is this stupid? Fat Chance Kitchen? No.

Fat Chance... Fat Chance Kitchen. Wiggs did not want to allow some of the stuff back in there, which gives me a big, hmm? Oh, I think there was a chan... I think there was a way we could have had... Did he have one of his big patties in his big patented hmm? I think there was a way we could have figured out something to get back into the tournament.

But I think that the way we settled on it to do it as a third place match I think was incredible. You don't want all the food included and that's also a hmm. We did tackle bell for ourselves. I just think McDonald's fries, Jersey Mike's, we've been fine with the whole menus on the menu. Jersey Mike's, McDonald's fries, you know, there was a. Do you guys have meetings where you're like, hey, the Patreon numbers are down, Mitch is like, I'll just make a big stink about something arbitrarily. I won't get the fans all riled up.

I'll just like dig my heels in about some dumb rule. All natural, baby. It is all natural. This is what the people want, is me bickering every fucking step of the way. I would say that this tournament, you become a little bit of the captain well We'll talk about this later On the show later, I mean, but you're a little bit of I'm the captain now. There's a little pulling a bark at

Collaborations a collaboration with you and me the team we're all made we're on this together. Yeah, you're the captain now you pull the captain now? I'm the captain now? I think you were. This is a collaboration. This is a collaboration with you and me, the team. We're all on this together. You're the captain now. You pulled the captain shit. Yeah, I'm the captain now. Who cares? Yeah, yeah. See?

Someone's got to make some decisions. I know. I know that's fine. Someone's got to steal this fucking ship. It's fine to do it. It's fine to do it. We were button heads early on, and I thought that as the tournament went on, I thought that it was beautiful.

Yeah. I thought it was great. I also, Mitch, I will say, you know I love Taco Bell. I was not rooting against Taco Bell. I thought Taco Bell v. I also, Mitch, I will say, you know I love Taco Bell. I was not rooting against Taco Bell. I thought Taco Bell v Taco Bell would have been an incredible finale. I thought we were headed towards it. I am still, like, I'm surprised the tournament

turned out the way it did. I voted against one of the finalists. I voted for handles over In-N-Out Burger. You voted for In-N-Out Burger. You're the reason In-N-Out Burger is in here. What was your strategy? You didn't vote in the election. you voted for in and out burger, you're the reason in and out burger is in here. I changed my damn vote. What was your strategy? You didn't vote in the election, you voted twice in this, you changed your vote.

I voted in the election. Jesus Christ, you're like the MyPillow guy of podcasts. Except crack would do you good. Maybe we'll clear things up. Can I just say, I think the way- I voted in the election for Trump. The way this... A lot of us did that because we live in California and we know it's going to be fun.

Vote for the guy you believe in, who cares. I'm just going to say, I think the way this tournament turned out is completely different than either of us would have predicted. I think Wendy's, we both thought was going to be out in the first round versus Jersey Mike's. It's here in the finale. That is surprising. It's a true Cinderella story.

Yeah, and I just like, the matchup state in Alperger had, I'm surprised it won too, although it's obviously got a stronger reputation. But this is not, again, I'll say it. I think everyone's brackets are busted. I don't think anyone was anticipating this. It is, it's a Cinderella story.

Yeah. It is, it's a Cinderella story. It is, it is, it is. Wendy's coming up this far is we did a chain rescue. I like this, I like Wendy's. I like Wendy's too. My sisters used to work at the Wendy's. I think the Wendy's that I went to growing up was like the second most expensive Wendy's in the US

because it was like a ski town Wendy's. This is in Breckenridge, Colorado? Yeah, in Silverthorn. Silverthorn, okay. And Dave Thomas came one summer. Whoa! And like hung out and like checked out the Wendy's. Did he bring that busty ginger daughter of his around?

Well, he kept her in the van. Now keep an eye on my daughter as I go fix the frosty machine. She's running around. She's holding her break. She's stuck under the coffee table. She's a step, she's a step. She's a step sister. Why, it's a true Cinderella story. Did your sisters like working there?

Oh, sorry. Yeah, they didn't mind. Both of them still work there 40 years later. Yeah, they're still there. Yeah, they didn't mind. I never had a fast food job. You have never worked in food service? I should have for the,

I've worked in food service, but there was a McDonald's that was like skateboardable from our house. And when I was like 13 and we would skate there all the time. And I just wanted like, like it was just like, once I can work here, I can get like free burgers and like my friends can skate over and see me at work. And then I, Is this funny, you looking so much like Poochie

and then telling the story about you skateboarding for burgers. I was awful at skateboarding and I did it for like three years. It was mostly shoplifting skate videos from Brands Bicycle Shop on Wanto Avenue. I'd like to apologize, I think I have like 11 videos I said from there over the course of it.

I had a skateboard for a very short period of time. I was not very good at it either. It was very bad. I could rollerblade and then I got bigger. I got bigger. I'm a decent skier. Yeah. Yeah.

Nice. You're a good skier. I'm pretty good. Yeah, you're pretty damn good. I went on Monday. Whoa, did you really? Yeah. Yeah, to Mountain High, which is super close

and the snow was truly melting. Every run I would go down, more and more brown would show up and I was like, all right. Same with me. The season is over. Oh, you're talking about the mountain. Are there any, like, you know, I know Mammoth, obviously. I'm not a skier.

Natalie snowboards or has snowboarded in the past. She does it less these days. But like, I'm very bad at those, those sorts of things. I've tried skiing, I've tried snowboarding. It's just, it's, there's, there's enough of a skill barrier where I'm just like, I don't have the, I don't feel like I want to learn this, but I, but I am curious, like, are there,

are there ski resorts in the area that like, as someone who grew up in a ski town, you know, sort of community are, that live up to your expectations. Like, is there anything you find in California with, I guess, a good powder? You would call it. Yeah. Where can you gnar up some fresh power up some power up in Tahoe and Mammoth? Tahoe is great. Yeah. I've gotten to ski up there a couple of times and it's pretty rad.

I've never skied mammoth and I really want to. I would love to ski places like I would fucking love to I don't like I don't like snow sports. I don't like sports. We have to put on more things Yeah, I don't like less things, but I like yeah I like I'm down for the cold like I'm down for being indoors in a cold climate. So like I like I got the opry life down. I can handle that I'll be no problem. Yeah, I'll be drinking fucking hot cocoa spiked with Captain Morgan's. I'm the captain now You guys come and stay in the did Dave Thomas put his Wendy's on the line and like a ski competition when he was up there We're gonna knock down this Wendy's and turn it into a luxury resort.

No! It's like not if my redhead daughter does the path bike. She like zips up her snowsuit to like here. Yeah, she has the biggest titties. I took a scuba diving brush up course once. I was in the French Polynesia and this dude next to me was like six foot five, had like an insane six pack.

He was absolutely shredded. He took off like stripped down to his bathing suit to put on his wetsuit. I was like, Jesus Christ, this guy's absolutely buff. And then behind him, his girlfriend steps out and she like zips up her wetsuit to like here. She has huge faces. And I'm looking at like a scuba porno set up.

They're both like comically beautiful. I was like, oh, get in the boat now with all the French guys. Can we put the number up again? Text this phone number if you wanted to be a part of our reverse call in show after the show. We're going to call you. Text this number. We'll call you. Text this number with your name and a question, and you might be part of the bullshit.

No hot wife attempting or anything like that, please. Everyone text us your number, and you will be added to the Hillary Clinton text list, requesting a donation. Nicholas, I hate that I have to send this. Shut the fuck up. You love it You're sending it to me all the time

I've never texted stop so much in my fucking life Oh my god It's mostly to Mitch, stop What's a bummer about this is that you know they're working on the people who are like old and on a fixed income Because they're like, oh Nancy Pelosi

needs help, you know, like they just are believing what they're seeing and that's why they do it. And everyone else is like, shut the fuck up. Cut the mattresses open, Pelosi needs help. Yeah, like cash comes spilling out. Pelosi doesn't need any fucking help. She's got big naturals and a hell of a stock portfolio. Wait, Nancy Pelosi has big naturals?

Heavy hangers on Pelosi. Heavy hangers. More like double Delosie, baby. I know what I'd like to get into, her freezer. She's got a bunch of Jenny's ice cream in there. I thought that's what you were calling her pussy. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's moment.co. What is that? What is that?

Are we getting a phone call? No. Wow. We just got an alert. Moment.co is ending the stream after Gabris referred to Nancy Pelosi's freezer. Skype incoming Mitch's dad. Oh my God.

Just wanted to say I'm not proud of anything you've done. What an insane moment for our two dead dads to appear together. Just my dad shows up? Hey, Gavres' dad was supposed to be here too. Much like every one of his football games, he couldn't make it. I don't know what to tell the people in the chat saying you want our mics to be closer. My mic is where it is supposed to be It is a fist from your nose

It's on your fucking... Try debugging on your end We're in the middle of doing a show Try anything We are doing a show New browser, I don't know headphones Instead of your laptop audio or vice versa Try mix it up

Get out of your fucking jazzy scooter and turn the volume up. Everyone's fucking Wally humans. Tell him to speak louder. He talking about no barber. Getting choked out by their girlfriend in a metal bikini. Get up and fucking turn the volume up or it's out on a podcast tomorrow. Thank you for your support. And send us a picture of that girlfriend choking you out. Yes. All right, we have that number up there. Text us any pictures of you getting choked.

Oh, David Carradine and NXS have already weighed in. They're with my dad on this guy. You know you get grouped by how you died. Oh my god. Oh my god. My mom and or sister aren't there. They're not watching it I'm sure, but still. All right look.

Only you can make that joke because you're a fellow dead dad club guy. Yup. It's worth it. So glad my dad is dead so I can riff like this. Before we get into the chains proper, before we get into In-N-Out Burger and Wendy's, the categories that are coming in on In-N-Out Burger won the burger tournament, Burger Brawl. Wendy's won the chicken tournament, chicken fight by virtue of the spicy chicken sandwich. What are your feelings on burgers in general and fried chicken slash chicken sandwiches in general?

Because I will say fried chicken is my favorite food. I love fried chicken so much. Love a fried chicken sandwich, but I probably like a burger over a fried chicken sandwich in general. But that Spicy Chicken Sandwich from Wendy's is one of my all-time favorites. Oh, yeah.

One of my go-to fast food things for any one of these new places is a burger and a fried chicken sandwich, no fries. That's my move, because I really like both. But like you, if it was just one or the other, I'd probably go burger. I fucking love fried chicken, but I think the two together pair very well as like you eat half of one,

then you eat half of the other, and then back and forth. I love that, yeah. What's the place over on Franklin that we got? Oh yeah, for the win. For the win, yeah. Oh, we did that, where we got burgers and fried and forth. I love that. Yeah. What's the place over on Franklin that we got? Oh, yeah, for the win. For the win, yeah. We did that. Great cheeseburgers and fried chicken sandwiches.

You can go down on both. So good. Yeah, I love it. Big fan. One just opened by me in the Beverly Center. Nice. Oh, there you go. Another reason to be at the mall.

I'm a Grove boy. Don't meet me there. Are you a Grove boy? I'm a big Grove boy. I was just there bagging it last night. Bagging it? Wow. I, uh, I, uh...

That's when I have sex with a condom on. Bagged it and tagged it. CaseyMakesBoobies.com to see what I'm talking about. I used to park at the Grove when I worked as a CBS page, Wags. That's right where I, uh... Ooh. Is that where you had to park? Yeah, you had to park at the...

A lot of the times you had to park there, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they'd let you on the lot, occasionally. I used to park at the Grove when I worked as a CBS page, Wags. That's right where I, uh... Ooh. Is that where you had to park? Yeah, you had to park at the... A lot of the times you had to park there the Grove when I worked as a CBS page, Wags. That's right where I, uh... Ooh. Is that where you had to park? Yeah, you had to park at the...

A lot of the times you had to park there, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes they'd let you on the lot, occasionally. But when, you know, when Bob Barker was retiring, it was... Or when I was a page for Bill Maher's show. Funny. Which Bill Maher show? Which I go back and work...

I work the... Real time? Real time, yeah. Real time's been on that long? Yeah. Jesus Christ. It was on before even I got there. It was on like years before I got there. I like-

I go back there and pay just for free because I love the content of the show. So. Yeah. I can't believe how much I liked Politically Incorrect when it was on. Yeah, but I was also like a teenager. Yes, exactly.

And so I was just like, oh, we can see- Whoa, this is so like adult. Yeah, I can watch Slash, or like argue with Robert Evans. I was like, oh, that's fun, you know? But like, I... Roger sent that clip the other day of Bill Maher being like, the boy, like, it was about a young boy and his teacher

from the 90s. Who got molested by his teacher. Yeah, and Bill Maher was just being like, it's okay. Very well. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, guess what Bill Maher's opinion on that is, and you are correct. Yeah.

And then Henry Rollins looking jacked as hell as always Yeah, guess guess what Bill Maher's opinion on that is and you are correct Henry Rollins looking jacked as hell as always just dunks all over him But in the most polite way is just basically like well I think the she probably took advantage of the power dynamic and probably you know what was an irresponsible act on her part They just think you fucking idiot And he still has one 25 years later, God bless him. God bless you, Bill Maher. You should bring in more Bill Maher energy into your podcast. So like after you say like, and that drop was from whatever,

then you go like. Until the in studio people start clapping and laughing because you're telling them that was a punch line. A parent, like a month or two ago, the commercial I did where I play an I Might, he re-enacted it a couple of times on his show. Wait, really? Yeah.

I kept getting pictures from people being like, hey, you're on Bill Maher. And then immediately, them being like, yeah, I still watch it. OK. I don't know what the rest yeah, I still watch it. Uh. OK. I don't know what the reference was to it. I was like, what was he saying? But yeah, apparently, like, two times. If I had to guess, he's probably pro people getting I might.

Keeping him up with about being 95% wrong, with the exception of weed and sex workers. Betsy, what do you stand on on cheeseburgers or hamburgers in general and fried chicken slash fried chicken sandwiches? Oh man, I love them both so much and they're both such a treat for me. It's, if I could eat one of them every day

and not feel, you know, no consequences, I think I'd have to go with a burger. Yeah. consequences. I think I'd have to go with a burger Yeah, yeah, I would have to go with a burger and keep chicken sandwich as a treat. Yeah, you know what I'm saying I get it. I get that I get that More of an indulgence a little bit more of a car does that's not which way I'm voting hard I'll say I'm not saying that either. Yeah, but I'm not saying it. Yes, right. I'm not voting We need you to vote for this Yeah, it's super important. I listened to all the other episodes leading up we get the fucking dry erase boards out. It's doing now

Before we get to the dry As you know by now Commissioner sussers tragic and unexpected passing, RIP, resulted in a secret weeks-long process where the Chartenulls convened in Vatican City for a comm-clave. Should we say a com-veen? Should I have said com-veen? I think com-veen. Emma, let's go with com-veen.

This is live. Right, got it. Got it. Com-veen in Vatican City for a com clave on Tuesday's double The com clave released Hawaii steam meaning a decision was made and tonight We will learn the identity of this new tournament commissioner. Please welcome deputy commissioner you song accompanied by Shartnell Noy Okay

40,000 people are clapping at home if it makes you guys cool Right when we're watching the pre-show Amelia goes 48,000 people are as it was Casey's Kickstarter. All right. I'm out. I'm out. Amelia. Yu Song, I believe you have some news for us. Yes, thank you so much for having me. The process to select a new commissioner at Vatican City was trying and difficult, and not just for the toilets. Yu Song doing standup? What's going on here? So, yeah.

No, but on a more serious note, um, every Chardonnay did have some very strong opinions about toppings for their ice cream sundae. For god's sake, just tell us who the new commissioner is. What the fuck? You've been gone too long as you were doing stand-up.

I like this. 45 more minutes. Get him in the real time writers room. No, I've just missed hanging out with you guys. Okay, I will announce the new commissioner, but first, a song of worship. Oh my goodness. Wow. What a song. A song of worship.

Another song? I guess a song is gonna happen. Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, pepperoni, I stand across the wine house, 130 minute TV show God knows Gloriosa Hot and fresh from a bend. So long? I'm so supremely as male does not surrender. Avoid him. He'll impass the garlic of...

I'm sweating. ...soulful Samaritan... Oh my god! Every line is like three minutes! Is that it? No, there's more. Oh, there's more. I'm sorry. Is the chat complaining about volume at all? It's weird, the chat's dead. We'll be together tonight And every night

Till Diana's beginning Amen. Died. Till No. Dialas begins. Dialas. Amen. Wow. Wow.

So that couldn't be done in the pre-show is what we're saying. Amen. Noid, that was beautiful. Amen. Noid, that was beautiful, shartanil noid. Beautiful, shartanil noid, also worth it, I would say. We, I thought was beautiful beautiful Chardonnay also worth it I would say we all agree it was worth it

I wonder I just wonder if um Kualik just ever listened to Ave Maria ever Kualik? Oh I'm sorry the Noid! Seeing so many people Keep up the K-Fave you dumbass

Sorry sorry Noi thank you that was wonderful Keep up the kayfabe, you dumbass. Sorry, sorry. Noid, thank you. That was wonderful. Thank you very much. That was beautiful. Thank you, Noid. Thank you, Noid. God bless.

I think Domino's was the only word I understood in that. Noid, I don't know if you see in the script there, it says Noid Exits. Thanks for having me, guys. Script? We love you, Noid. We love you, Noid. We love you, Noid. Thank you. We love you Noid. We love you Noid. Thank you Chardonnoyed. Chardonnoyed everyone.

Chardonnoyed was sitting in a chair spinning around going I'm Jake, I'm Amir. When I showed up here. I think you were right about no one complaining about the volume anymore. And if every the chat is probably really dead. I think you were right about no one complaining about the volume anymore. We told everyone to put on headphones and turn the volume up.

Then send in the noise like it's fucking Gitmo. Except we're the prisoners. Was that in terms of runtime? Was that longer than our opening song. I think it might I think it was like twice as I think the third and fourth song are longer Fucking night ahead of us me and Betsy are doing a grease lightning parody You song I apologize you're about to tell us about the new commissioner of course And now before we announce the new

Commissioner, look, just tell us it's susser or the knife or whatever bullshit it's gonna be. Just do it. The name of the new Commissioner is Chartanel Mario. Mario. Oh, my God. The new Commissioner is walking in. Oh my god the new commissioner is walking in Just back is to the camera Wearing a pope like costume it is the commissioner What is going on here?

This is literal hat on hat Commissioner but similar to the tradition of the Pope who takes a new name I'm gonna take a new name. Okay from this point of forward I will be known to honor the past and who came before me. I will be known as Commissioner Evan theucer, the second. Oh, okay, great. So now you're back in there just gonna talk with that dumb Italian accent. You know, speaking of accent, I've actually been taking dictation lessons. So now I can talk a normal. You took dick. You took dick. Yeah, it's me. I can talk a normal Yeah, yeah

Wow shocking no one was expecting this the new commissioner Commissioner Evan Susser the second you don't have to say second every time Commissioner Evan Susser he's back Playball Susser Susser Susser we need some closure here because we spent a whole month thinking our friend had died. Did you actually die? Like what's the deal here? Was this a hoax? Nick, of course I didn't die. That's why they call me Thusser Permanente. Ohhhh. Wow, comes full circle.

The prestige From the first The first envelope Perfectly executed Everyone remembers that Wow, he is risen Commissioner Susser everybody Yeah, everyone said he was

dead yet our chicken nuggets kept evaporating To the listeners in the chat Do I sound better with two mics? dead yet our chicken nuggets kept evaporating when we were trying to eat for the show. To the listeners in the chat, do I sound better with two mics? Two mic mic? Oh, is that bad? No, I mean, it's fine. Do whatever you want. Do people like me with the new mic? I muted that one, but now you're back. This is the new mic. Wow, it was susser the whole time. I can't believe it. Why? I mean, it was a different susser. Really wild, but we do need to get back to the tournament because we have,

I'm sorry, Ameliailia's running in here with a slip of paper. Let me open this up. Your balls are hanging out. Oh my God. Wow. The Doughboys won a Peabody Award for the Comclave bit. Congratulations to the whole team.

Great work, everybody. And they don't just give those away because Jon Stewart got one. The only show that's been good with old Stewart back in the helm. Yeah, not my president. Alright, I need a moment of zen, baby. Imagine if Wendy's and In-N-Out joined forces, they'd need a mighty good olive oil to match their flavors.

That's where Graza comes in. Graza's single-origin olive oils, sizzle, frizzle, and drizzle, are perfect for every kitchen need. Whether roasting or grilling, each bottle is packed with fresh piquile olives from high end Spain. Plus, they come in fun, mess-free squeeze bottles. Ready for a chef-quality quality meal use code EVO at Grazza.co for 10% off the trio fire up your next culinary creation

Let's get into much madness 10 MMX the tournament of champions of champions Totcock. Yes. I kind of botched my line Oh great. So now you're back and you're speaking that stupid Italian accent. Can you just put that in later, Emma? Yeah, we'll just do that. Once again, this is live. Got it. I did botch it. Maybe I was reading some sort of script.

I don't know. What a surprise. Susser's back. What a surprise. Nothing changed. Jemmy's disoriented. Her costume is askew. Let's see if I can adjust this or if she's going to be upset.

It was so worth kicking Jemmy off the couch to sit down for one bit to offend my people. If I came in here and I was like, I'm rabbi blah blah blah, and I did a fucking Hebrew accent, I would be fucking drummed out of society. You dream of doing that, first of all. Second of all, I-

You guys already made me change my costume twice. I was pushing Jemmy off the couch. I was like, everyone's just gonna be mad at me pushing Jemmy off the- no Jemmy! Wanna sit next to Uncle Wise? Wanna sit next to Uncle Wise? Jemmy was contemplating jumping off the couch head first once the noise started singing. She did visibly react to- Well it hit a certain pitch, I think it was the brown note I fucking filled my drawers with diarrhea. The rules has to be decreed by the resuscitated Commissioner

Susser. Go ahead. The resuscitated? I was just going to say online people were like it might be Wayne Brady as the Commissioner. Of course it's Susser. You knew it? Everyone knew it? It wasn't going to? It was a fucking susser. The bit was the same as last year. Yeah. It's never gonna change. We did this last year with me and Betsy. Rule number one. There are no rules. That's right. Just like Outback Steakhouse this year, it's no rules just right. Rule number two. There actually are some rules. Rule number three. Everyone is here.

Every winner of every past tournament of champions is represented in Munch Badness 10. Rule number four, you gotta dance with the one who brought ya, your ticket in is your meal ticket. If a restaurant has multiple categories of food in its menu, only the category it qualified for is eligible. As a way of example, the winner of the pizza tournament Damos can only enter with pizza, not wings or pasta, et cetera.

Rule number five, one on fun. Every matchup will be a one on one matchup with each guest getting to pick one item from the competing chains. Rule number six, the Roger Rabbit slash Judge Doom rule. Dim gets the slip, Sauce is at a loss. You can use Sauce if you can't evaluate Sauce in your review. Rule number seven, the dais is denied. The dais, aka the producer's desk.

Opinions on the competing chains are not to be considered during the tournament. No exceptions. If this rule is violated, the commissioner reserves the right to eject members of the dais. Perfume on the middle fingers. Rule number eight, tie goes to the runner. If there's a tie, host and or guest can agree to a foot race around head come to decide which side wins, which we did during the pre-show. We did, we did. You guys, you guys saw it.

Or they can opt for a deus ex machina which would be letting the deus decide this rule would then cancel out rule number seven. Rule number nine, hate has no plate here. Chick-fil-A is officially banned for the tournament even though it didn't qualify in the first place so this is just grandstanding. I do like Chick-fil-A's chicken sandwich, talking about chicken sandwich. Rule number ten, I'll have what he's having, aka the Billy Crystal rule. In each round, the commissioner reserves the right to have one of the host's exact meals and a new rule has been added by virtue of the new commissioner by his ruling. Rule number 11. For the finale, the entire menu is on the menu.

All items could be considered. Well, Susser the second or Sussusser permanente, I don't like this rule at all, wife. As specified- It should be what got you here, which is chicken sandwiches and burgers, but it's okay. We'll talk about it. As specified- I surely will. As specified by Jess McKenna, these are the stakes. The winner will be sent to the first organism to crawl out of the sea, who also looked like

Billy Crystal, to determine whether they evolved to live on land or instead return to the ocean- Oh, we were going to get a Billy Crystal impersonator, remember? We forgot. He lived in San Diego. Oh right, he lived in San Diego. That's where the work is. If you're doing Crystal, you can't be in LA where there is a Crystal. Should we go down there and become G.A.D. impersonators? Yeah. The bummer is the guy only does his Sammy Davis Jr. The first organism we crowd out of the sea who also look like Billy Yeah. The bummer is the guy only does his Sammy Davis Jr. The first organism we crowd out of the sea who also look like Billy Crystal will get this item to determine whether they evolved to live on land or instead return to the ocean

to build a Pandora-esque aquatic paradise of merpeople and otherwise turn our dystopian earth into a utopian mirth. Part one of this matchup is In-N-Out Burger. So we're going to talk In-N-Out Burger and Wendy's separately. We'll start with In-N-Out Burger. The Chick-fil-A burger. In-N-Out Burger's path to the finale. The Chick-fil-A burger. The Chick-fil-A sandwich would never have made it from me.

Fuck that sandwich, but. You don't really, fuck that sandwich? You don't like it? It's fine. No, you should actually fuck that sandwich. I think it's good. That's my, my Patreon tier is called Fuck That Sandwich. Fuck That Sandwich.

We're gonna talk In-N-Out Burger first, you're saying. Yes. Okay. In-N-Out Burger. Just like if you were to order both, you gotta eat the In-N-Out first. Yes. So we should talk In-N-Out Burger first, you're saying. Yes. Okay. In-N-Out Burger. Just like if you were to order both, you gotta eat the In-N-Out first. Yes. So we should talk In-N-Out first.

Yes. In-N-Out Burger's path to the finale and the first round in the Baby Bitch region, In-N-Out Burger defeated Handles after Mitch and I split our votes. The final fork, In-N-Out defeated Taco Bell 3-1 with Mitch's the lone dissent. So I went to-

No. That round is- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I went to In-N-Out Burger on my own and dined in. I went post-lunch rush, pre-high school getting out because I knew that was a window. Oh yeah, how pre-high school getting out was... This is what your lawyer told you.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I wasn't waiting for the high school to get out. I was like... I had to get a good seat for when the high school got out. All right, hold on. I was saying the opposite. I didn't want to play storming with teams. He's wearing a shirt that looks exactly like the booth

at In-N-Out. Hey, this one's open. This one's open. Face painted bright one. This one's open. You went there by yourself. I still went by, so I went past the lunch rush. There was not a long line, but the place was still completely packed. So much so that I shared my table with a stranger because there was no one else to sit.

I was already sitting there and the guy asked if we could sit there and I was like, great. I got a double-double with him. He's like, hey, I'm I'm gonna shoot up this place, so let me know if you're gonna shoot it up. Because I can cover the back door, we can get more bodies that way. You know the high school's about to get out. Yeah, buddy, I know.

I got a double-double with onions, I got animal-style fries, I got a Flying Dutchman, which is a secret menu item that Gilly actually described, which is just two patties with two slices of cheese served on paper. I got a pink lemonade, I got a vanilla shake, and that was my meal. What did everyone else get? Mitch, you went today, actually, right? I went two day wags. I was going to go to my original In-N-Out, but the timing just

wasn't working. I was going to go to the Universal In-N-Out. I went to the one that's like Glendale adjacent. You know there's a one in Glendale and you have to get out of your car, and I wasn't going to do that, so I went to the other one other one. That's a drive through the one we've the Harvey's That's the that in and out so clutch It's clutch, but I waited about a half an hour in line there half an hour is the amount of time It took me to get my Wendy's order and come back and eat it. Yeah, sure. You saw that. No, there's certainly From a demand standpoint there are the there are there's way more demand for an Outburger, certainly in Southern California.

Lines are way longer. I got myself, and I've complained on here about veggies. I've complained about veggies on this podcast. Yes, in general. This is a great stance for you to have. Shoot me up with my drugs. Fuck vegetables. I'm gonna be one.

Wait, wait. Wait, whatever. While we're on this tangent, like I- While Mitch is looking through his text messages to say, Amelia, what did I eat earlier? That's not it. I have it here. It's in my notes app. I'm only looking at my notes app.

I'm not texting people during the fucking show. Sorry. I got a three by three Wags. Because I'd always kept said that the burgers there, it's too much lettuce and I wanted to get a lot of beef. So I got a three. I'll get a three by three sometimes. A three by three protein style,

three patties, three slices of cheese. Oh, I did not go protein style. I went three by three animal style, add raw onions. And then I got myself a single burger animal style, no lettuce, no tomato. I got myself animal style fries. I got a pink lemonade medium, and I got a black and white shake.

Wow. Ooh. Gabriel, and y'all had something pre-show. Yeah, we ate back. We got here and watched the pre-show on the dead commissioner's iPad. You know, they say before you do a performance, you're supposed to have about 4,200 calories.

Yep. They say before you do a performance, you're supposed to have about 4,200 calories. Yep, yep. Yeah, so we had In-N-Out back there. Me and Betsy both also had Flying Dutchman. Yeah. And I also got a double-double animal-style

no tomato ad grilled onions, which is my go-to. Yeah, you're an avowed tomato skeptic. Yeah, I do not like tomato on burgers or sandwiches. If it's part of the title, like if you're an avowed tomato skeptic. Yeah, I do not like tomato on burgers or sandwiches. If it's part of the title, like if you're giving me a Caprese or a BLT, you can leave your tomatoes on there. But otherwise, get fucking bent, red ring of death. You're usually dealing with really like shitty,

low quality tomatoes is the thing. Yes, and when I was a kid, my mom would like think adding a tomato to a ham and cheese sandwich was like, this way it's not totally unhealthy. Yeah. And it ruined ham and cheese. It ruined everything for me. And then I also tried to get a single single with just lettuce, pickles, and mayonnaise.

They didn't do it, but it was close. I kind of approximated it. I wanted to try a plainer burger. And it was all around... Well, I'll talk review later. Do they not have mayo? Is that the issue or they must have mayo, right? I don't think they have mayo. No. You can get ketchup and mustard instead of spread,

but I don't think they have just regular mayo. Yeah, so that's maybe why I got spread instead, but it still worked out. Yeah, and I got, yeah, flying Dutchman and then a single with everything and grilled onions. Are you generally a single burger? Like, is that your proportion or do you? Yeah, usually, because I also really like to house fries.

French fries are a big part of my meal. So I'm like, let me be kind of healthy with the burger so I can go to town on French fries and ranch and stuff. I got animal fries, which I should have said. But they ended up, because of just the weight and me taking longer to get here than I expected, ended up being almost like a baked potato. One big thing like a log that I could like slice parts of it off of.

Still not bad. For sure congeal into like kind of a just a soft mass. Yeah. This is the issue with In-N-Out which we've talked about. I ate it in the parking lot is where I ate. Yeah I ate it in a restaurant. I went to both these places. In a full squat next to the dumpster? I pulled into his parking spot in a,

it ended up a little bit MAGA coated, isn't it, in a way? It's like a very 50s rockin'. I will say that I would not be shocked if those were the politics of the owners. I mean, probably the politics of every business owner. I mean, for the most part. But like, they don't exactly wear their politics on their sleeves,. I mean, but like, but like, they, you know, they, they, they don't exactly wear their politics on their sleeves, but they are overt about

how that it's like a company that was founded on like Christian principles and they have Bible verses on the bottom of the cup. Yeah, I disagreed with a lot of them. But but I think is what you're saying, Maggot Coded,, because it just sort of looks like a 50s throwback sort of thing? Like sort of like... Yeah, yeah. I mean, it feels like how Mel's drive-in is.

Sure, yeah. It's got that... It's like, this was America. Right. Yes, yeah. I love those 1950s diner with colored-only water fountains and stuff. Yeah, why do we love that era so much? It's bizarre.

I don't, yeah, 19, I mean, look, I love In-N-Out. I like that it's a throwback burger place, but it has that vibe, a little bit of that vibe. It feels a little more like 70s SoCal to me than 50s. I don't think that means it's not like inherently Mug or anything, but yeah. Sure, yeah. That's why I guess I associate it in whatever. I'm from here and I grew up with it, but like inherently mug or anything but yeah. Sure, yeah. That's why I guess I associate it in whatever,

I'm from here and I grew up with it, but like yeah, I associate more with like kind of like beachy vibe. You know what was on the bottom of my cup? What's that? It was a Conover 217 and then Nicole and it just said actually. A letter from Conover to the Corinthians.

Actually. Actually. Actually. Rectus. I ate in my car. Yeah, I pulled in. I ate in the car and the bite of a double double animal style is already a sloppy mess. Three by three animal style is a sloppier mess.

It did give me a good beefy bite, but I mean, you know, is it about, is it just about the beef? You know, the beef is great there. I tried the animal style fries. The beef is fantastic. The beef is, it's great. It's a great burger patty.

There's no denying it. The fries, the animal fries I thought were, they were okay. The animal fries are just okay. But I've had plain fries enough during this competition, I didn't care. You know what was my bite of the night, or I guess the sip of the trip? That black and white shake, man.

Their shakes are great. Was fucking good as hell. Shakes are fantastic. I've never had one. You've never had one? I've had In-N-Out like hundreds of times. I'm not really a shake with my kind of meal kind of guy. Like if it's like, and I don't normally eat dessert,

I'm usually too disgusted and full with myself to eat dessert. But I think I gotta try one of these shakes. You know, I hear you talk about these shakes and I get a little envy. I had a frosty today. Yeah. Cause I saw Nick's order.

Yeah. It's a bit too, it's a bit too much for it to be a regular thing I get. But sometimes if I want to indulge, I will get, and for me, again, growing up with an outburger, that's where I learned to dip fries into shakes. And I learned that at Wendy's. Yeah, and hey, you know what,

I did the same thing at both places. I hate that shit. I hate people dipping their fries into shakes. What's wrong with that? Have you tried it? No. You don't like salty? No, I've tried it.

I'm scared. Do you generally't like salty. No, I've tried it. I'm scared. Do you generally not like salty and sweet together? Do you not like a salted caramel? You know, I'm not a person who puts the M&Ms in my popcorn. I, I, I. Ooh, what about chocolate covered pretzels?

Oh, now that's a little bit different. That's my fucking wheel house, baby. But I, I, I, I don't like to dip them in the, in the frosty too often, but, but that, that black and white shake just on its own is so, we gotta, I know this sounds pathetic, but we gotta. Let's get out of here and grab a shake. Let's go. I fucking love to.

I have to do this for three more hours. By the time we get back here, Nick will be done explaining Tom Clave and we'll get it over here. I'm sorry, fuck. I've been listening all month long, of course. I mean, I should get on the double as a guy who lives on his patreon and I don't belong to yours We come back and wag his on the zoom with David Carradine and my dad from heaven Sorry buddy you've gone for a while

What I don't know I'm talking into the fucking microphone you fucking idiot Are you like something else tried debugging something on your end? Did you see that? I got Nick to yell at me now I can come this guy's fucking busting. I can finally come why you're yelled at me. I heard cool koala I Explained what? Koala Explained what concrete was I've been listening for like five weeks knowing what the buildup is

We got people with buggy computers is that the issue with what's going on here I think a lot of our reader or listeners. Like, they're just like idiots. Figure it out, you snowflakes. So a lot of you guys out there are stupid. Or go buy a ticket to Snow White. And if you're stupid, I understand you don't have the intelligence to like try to fix something on your own. So what you're gonna do is you're just gonna say, The world is wrong. So you type in the chat like,

The world is wrong. Fix the world. Because you're too dumb to try anything on your end. So I get that you're that fucking stupid. You have to comment. I get it that you're that fucking stupid. You have to comment. I get it that you're that much of a fucking moron that you have to put into the chat how fucking dumb you are so we can all like acknowledge your existence. So what I say is, yeah, I mean like in the future though,

maybe like look inside for a moment. Maybe like consider like, is there anything I can do to fix my situation Or am I just going to ask everyone else to do it for me because that's what's happening to me my whole life Because I'm just surrounded by people who can are aware that I am inept who are where that I'm utterly incompetent at surviving the world For me I need someone to hold my hand through every single process of every single aspect of my life because I am such a fucking moron.

And I also need to make sure that I let everyone know about this. Right, right. I'm gonna cut you off before you start crying. Yeah, I'm doing great. You're very close to tears. I'm fucking tearing up because that's, I'm so proud of my boy. That was beautiful.

That's the attitude you gotta have with these people every once in a while. I flipped out on them not too long ago at the beginning, right at the beginning of the tournament, right around there some of the likes and now you flipped out on them too. Look, maybe they got a buggy computer. We're gonna give them the benefit of the game. They might have a buggy computer.

Chug it! Chug it! You wanna just gently, kinda inconspicuously come in here? Do you know if there's any gummy candy? There might be, do we have any gummy? There might be some fruit snacks in the kitchen. Yeah, some fruit snacks or? I couldn't find any.

There might be some gummy, I mean, my general stance is that gummy ain't yummy. There's some boxes on the floor in the kitchen with snacks in them. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Yeah. You were looking for gummy candy?

I liked it better when he was dead. Come on. Just give it a couple of years. Well, I'll be gone then. I don't have to deal with any of you guys. That's a good point. That's a good point. All right, Wags, I think people either have left the,

they've either left the stream or they figured out their audio at this point. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh. I didn't. Uh. Yell at me. Wanna shoot a rope on my Lenovo.

I'm just happy because I feel like some of that was probably angered at me and it came out to those people. It feels great. That's so narcissistic of you, but I don't know. You know, maybe, you know I'm a little bit right too. I couldn't help but notice that maybe it was my fault. Did I? I'm a little devil.

Not a little devil. I, uh... You're a big saint. I'm a big saint. Nick. Can I just say... Putting the emphasis on boar over here, Al Borland. Can I just say... I got thrown. My In-N-Out burger was so fucking good. And I'm like, I was eating this and I was like, this is the, this chain is at the top

of its game right now. Like, I don't know what it is. I don't know if the shift is just like really like, like, you know, absolutely locked in, but this is like the absolute best version of In-N-Out Burger. Something, a meal I've eaten like, you know, a thousand times in the course of my life. That I just like, I finally have, like, not, not even finally, it's just like-

We've eaten it like 14 times this month. I've had it, I have had In-N-Out Burger so many times just this year. And I'm like, this is like the ideal, the platonic ideal of an In-N-Out Burger meal. Every single item was great. I was having this and I'm like this is like the ideal, the platonic ideal of an In-N-Out Burger meal. Every single item was great. I was having this and I was like, man, this is, I don't know, I don't know if Wendy's even has a shot here

because this is so good and they have so much nostalgia attached to this chain. But that was my personal experience at this particular location with this particular meal. But I was really, really just like, just blown away by this experience. It was great. Every item was great, the Double I was really, really just like, just blown away by this experience. It was great. Every item was great. The double-double was great. The Flying Dutchman was great. The animal style fries were piping hot. They were exactly as they should be. And that shake

was great. The pink lemonade was the only thing that was a little bit of letdown, just because it's a little intensely sweet for me, but I wanted to have it so I'd have a one-to-one comparison with Wendy's, which we'll get to in a second. And just as you finish your meal, the high schoolers just filed into the building as well. A perfect meal. Perfect meal. Wow, why is that? My burger was good.

The single, it's funny, the single was a little too salty with everything. It was just the sauce and the burger. Animal style fries, they don't have great fries here. It is a- The fries are rough. The fries are bad. That's why I do the animal fries.

I don't mind the fries, but if someone's like, I don't like the In-N-Out Burger fries, I've always been like, yeah, it's fine. I like whatever. I don't need to defend the fries. To me, like saying I don't like saying In-N-Out fries is the same thing as saying like, I thought that movie was too long.

Which is like, yeah, of course, just shut up. I say both of those sentences a lot. I say that movie was too long, so many, no, Monkey could have been longer. They get seven hours, give it an intermission like the brutal is. Going back in for the back half of monkey is that why you're crying?

that's really sad who's your monkey of the night? well Wendy's is not going to give up their shot to quote uh what's his name? Hamilton? Hamilton but what was your in and out experiences like experiences? Like, Gabriel said eventually today. A plus version. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really, really great. A plus versions for both you guys. Yeah, it was really good. It was banging. And I don't have it as frequently as I should, because the only one near me is that Hollywood one, and that one's just not worth it. Oh, and like Orange or whatever? The Sunset one?

Yeah, yeah. That's a tough one. That one's like impossible. Hey, Wye's right next to Hollywood High School. I have been to that In-N-Out burger a number of times. Does Lovett still work there? Does Lovett still work at that In-N-Out Burger? No, he worked at High School High. Oh, he worked at High School High.

One of the box art for that movie is burned into my head. He has an afro that has a tree going through his head. There's movies where it's like, okay, yeah, this comedy from the 90s has an age well. That movie, The Box has an age well. The Box is bad. Jesus Christ. I should take down that poster.

The high school high poster I have above my bed. On the ceiling. On the ceiling. Yeah. Look at it. It gets me harder than a mirror. Than a mirror? Nothing gets me harder than a mirror.

What was your bite of the night, if you will, to borrow a phrase from Mitch? The Flying Dutchman was surprisingly enjoyable. I never got spread on the side, and spread packets were there, and I was like, ooh, this is a fucking treat. Dipping a fucking Flying Dutchman, and we'll probably find out in like a week that that's a term we're not supposed to be using anymore.

Like, the answer to that ethical community is after us. Because Hofstra University, one of Long Island's few universities, used to be the Flying Dutchman, but they switched to the Pride, which now has another seven different connotations. Yeah. But it's like a lion thing. Yeah. Oh, like the Proud.

It's a lion thing. You wouldn't get it. Me? Yeah. Aween Mawad. Aween Mawad. The North Jersey Red Raiders are just fine, so don't worry. Cue the third song! In Long Island, the monkey's nailing. Whee! A bum-bum-way.

Whee! A bum-bum, sunrise highway. Put in just as much effort as all you guys did. My bite was of my single single. I put some of the spread on and then I did the thing I've seen on like Instagram videos when people are just eating in their car and I just watch them. You bite the little pepper, squeeze it and take a bite. It was really tasty. A little pepper and chini juice on top there? Little pepper and chini juice, yeah.

Yeah, I love that you can get the peppers on the side. Yeah. I will just say, just to finish my thoughts here, there was a moment I was dining in there, and it's just one of those things that happens when doing this podcast with talking about anything food. I'm sitting there, three tables, tightly packed dining room, completely full, I'm sitting with a stranger,

so it's four different parties at three different tables. It's four completely different demographics, all enjoying the same meal. And it's just one, I was just like, this is LA, this is California, I just kinda have that feeling, you know, this is America. This is America. Exactly.

I'm singing America. I'm cueing the fits song. This is American. It was such a great, simple menu. Yeah, that's what I like about it. Can you speak up? They can't hear you in the chat. They're not gonna hear when he fucking Bud Dwyer's himself. Did you hear that, bitch?

I'm bad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore. Fat as hell. We did that parody at one point. We did do fat as hell and I'm not going to eat this anymore? Eat it anymore in some shitty... I think it was eat it anymore. And the season this is from Weird Al has hit yet? Gotta have just done a worse version of him in podcast form. Do we have any other?

That's you got less tomato on your single. Yeah, I got everything and grilled onions. Yeah. And grill. Yeah, I'm one for it's like I want everything on. Yeah, I didn't intend to eat all. I was like, oh, I'm going to have two bites of this, two bites of this. I fucking ate everything. It was five patties total. Yeah, I'm gonna have two bites of this, two bites of this. I fucking ate everything. It was five patties total.

Like I just took them all down. And the Wendy's. And some Taco Bell. And can I be honest? I'm feeling pretty good right now. Okay, if we're being honest, I feel like legal dog shit. Legal dog shit? That's a joke to illegal dog shit.

I feel like I've hit the legal limit of dog shit in the human body. Oh my God. Jimmy, can you get me some of that illegal dog shit? Jimmy, hook a player up with that illegal dog shit. That's like the coffee beans that you make your dog eat and then you take it out of its shit and you brew coffee with it. Oh yeah, I've heard about that. That's a real thing.

Yeah, there's shit coffee. I leave coffee grounds at a dog park. There's shit coffee? There's shit coffee. Yeah, I think I think Milk I think there's a specific animal that they want that it's a cat. It's a cat It's a cat in like South America I think that eats a bean eats the beans and processes it and that process makes the beans do something different than they brew coffee with Yeah I'm assuming they give it a quick rinse at some stage.

Imagine it's washed. Yeah. Yeah, I would hope it's washed, but they get little Wallies and Irma's doing that down there. How that makes me sad. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess if they industrialize it, it's probably depressing. They're just force-feeding a bunch of cat's coffee and then watching them fake huge shit,

and then shoveling it in. Just standing by, standing over a kitty litter box like, almost ready. Yeah. Like you see those hipsters do pour over coffee, like now they have a cat on a table. Squeezing a cat. Meow.

When I read about the process. It's just funny that you're not as outraged about that as you are about people saying you're too soft. Well, I'm hypoth, like, this is a hypothetical. Because when I've read about the process, it talked about like wild animals doing it. Like wild animals that naturally eat coffee beans, they'll go through their scat

and then pull out the digested beans. Scat. Yeah, yeah. I think that's what happens. But I don't know. Ski ba ba ba ba ba. We should have some on the part. You're the scat man.

I am the scat man. And that I'm obsessed with shit. One guy, one tub. One guy, one tub. I saw amazing Jonathan in Vegas once. I saw amazing Jonathan in Vegas once. I saw amazing Jonathan in Vegas once. I've been everywhere. Was his pre-show scat man?

No! His pre-show was, they just had a video screen and they just played scat man and they played scat man like four times That's how long they did the bit funny bit looping scat man But while they were doing it, they were just zooming in on audience members And then just would have like a funny caption like like this guy likes to jack off That is so funny. That's a straight man.

Can we do that at Doughboy's? Can we steal that bit for Doughboy's live show? Yes. Yes. I used to do a sketch show with my partner, Justin Tyler, where we'd pretend we were on a stakeout and we had a camera with night vision hooked up to the screen behind us and we would do a stakeout and just roast all the audience. Oh, that's so funny.

Look at this fucking freak. He's definitely the pedo we're after. I feel like the first time I saw you two were on stage, were you naked? Yeah. When we hosted Harold Knight here in LA, we didn't know anyone. We were like, let's get naked in between shows. We did a bit, because we kept ripping off our tear away pants to reveal Speedos, because our show was like a lifeguard show. And then on the last time we came out, ripped him off.

We had no speedos. We were like, what? I acted like we didn't know that was going to happen. Like, it was annoying that we kept doing it already with like a buildup. And then on the last time, we just put that Speedos on. Crowd was no, like, Crowd could not give a fuck. They were like, aw.

Yeah, they were like, we just want to see the Herald. Bring out last day of school. I was going to say, I think I saw it, so they like, we just want to see the Heralds. Bring out last day of school. I was going to say, I think I saw it, so they did just see one of my team's Heralds. Which is why they were happy with seeing two strange cocks for a little bit. I've said this before on the podcast, but the first time I met you, Gabris, was at Funny or Die,

and you were also naked. The bit was, because I was there, and they were shooting a Today Show bit that never aired. But Al Roker came to talk, like I went to talk to the staff of Funny or Die to see how they came up with their crazy ideas. It was one of those things. It was like no one gives a shit.

Of course it isn't going to be on TV. Was it Fat Roker or Thin Roker? This was Thin Roker. And so it was a conference room with all the Funny or Die writers and then they were like, we should do a bit, we should get someone to be naked. And then Betsy, not a different Betsy, who worked at, who was a producer at Funny or Die, was like, I know a guy who will get naked.

And they're like, all right, sure. And then it was Gabriel, and you showed up, you're just the naked guy they hired to sit there. But I didn't know, I'd never met you. I was only living here for like a week and a half at that point. You half I just got here You're just and you're getting paid like a hundred fifty dollars like sit naked in the conference room People I didn't know were also UCB people and funnier time people and Al Roker

And all it was told is that you're a professional naked guy And then you get in there and you're being the funniest guy in the room because you're the funniest guy in most rooms And then all now now we're just like Funny in the room because you're the funniest guy in most rooms. And then now we're just like, what the fuck is the fucking, the naked guy's funny? Yeah, I think in hindsight it was like Fernie was in there, there's a few other people that I now know personally, LP, and I know who he is. And I'm like, I met them and they were like, everyone of course was like, fuck this,

yeah, the fucking naked guy. And then I started doing bits and like, you know, being an alpha or whatever people like now I hate One of the I think the second time I might you were talking with Justin Tyler And and you guys were like get out of here dead dads only yeah, and then within a year my dad You ran home and said I have some plans to make Don't remember how the rest of that Dad I booked you on the TWA flight 800 I don't remember how the rest. You told him no peeking.

He looked and then died. Mm, once there was this dad who looked into the shower and saw his son's back. And he finally turned white. Seventh song parody of the night. Only four hours left. Don't forget to call this number on the screen now. And we will call you and do Geek Squad to your home

entertainment system. And get the speakers. Plug your audio. Text the number. We will calibrate your audio. Let us know your tech problem. Before you went into that, I made a joke about not seeing Snow White and it just ended with you yelling at people. I just want people to know, go see Snow White.

Yeah, you have to. I'm not against seeing Snow White. You have to. You have to see Snow White. Trump wins if we don't watch Snow White. Trump wins if we don't watch Snow White. Those dwarves really look like shit though. Yeah, they look bad.

They look real bad. I do kind of look like one of those. Which one? There is one that I look like. Can I spoil the ending of Snow White? People hear this? The ending? I guess spoiler alerts for the chat for the ending of the new Snow White.

So there's someone narrating the whole movie. And the, you know, famously Dopey is the dwarf. I love that there are some listeners who are muting this. Who are mad that I'm spoiling Snow White. Thank God I could hear him the whole time. I mean, I can hear a spoiler warning, but that's about it. So someone is narrating the movie, and Dopey famously doesn't talk.

But in the movie, Snow White is like, hey, Dopey, you should have more confidence, the confidence to speak. And the reveal at the end is that Dopey is the one with narrating the whole time, because now he's learned how to talk. And learned how to read. And there's a post-credits scene where Snow White's sucking Dopey off. Sam Jackson steps into the room and like Dopey you're what we need with the Avengers.

We have you sucking off Ultron, we just don't know who's playing him yet. Or Kang rather. Oh no, don't come for me, feige. All right, we gotta talk about Wendy's. Now, I actually went to Wendy's the day before. I went to- Oh, are you fucking serious? I'm here for this shit? I'm here for this shit?

What? Mitch, are you fucking serious? It hasn't gone off the entire time since I fucking... Since the last time it's gone off. Since the last time it's gone off. Since the last time it went off. Since the last time it went off in that episode it's not gone off. Since the last time it hasn't happened again is what you're saying.

And you want a fucking cookie for this? Kind of. It's not that bad. I just, I, like, I already got mad. So I, like, there's only so much energy I have, but it's like, it's honestly, it's just ridiculous that we have a live stream. We have a live stream. There's a fucking guy in my fucking backyard.

Is he wearing an Amazon delivery vest? No, he's not. He's fucking weirdo, dude. What are you talking about? What do you mean by weirdo? There's a fucking dude at my fucking door. Holy weirdo? I can do it at my fucking door There's a fucking guy at my fucking door wait what he's not moving oh now he is moving He's fucking dude. Okay Mitch is showing his for audio listeners listen this layer

Mitch is showing his phone screen I guess is that a ring camera is that your ring camera feed from the alert? Do you want to ring is calling me you fucking ass? Okay? Okay, I guess Mitch is gonna pick up here. Hold on a second, I'm sorry. Hello? Oh yes, this is Justin with Ring Home Security. Yeah, hey.

Near the mic. Oh, sorry. Yeah, we're calling you because your alarm was activated. Is this Michael Mitchell? Yes, yeah, hello. Yeah, this is Mike Mitchell Yeah, I think someone is I don't know if someone's breaking into my house right now Oh my fucking god, okay, uh, well, uh

What do I do? Should I stay here? I'm at I'm at a podcast studio right now I'm not he doesn't need any of this information. Go. You're you're not at home. No. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm recording with my I'm here with I'm here to show with with I'm here. Betsy Sadaro from Ghosts.

I'm here with my co-host with Nick, my co-host. And so nervous. Can I get Nick's full legal name? with my co-host, with Nick, my co-host. I'm so nervous. Can I get Nick's full legal name? Well, Ring Security Guy, my full legal name is Nicholas Frankweiger. And sometimes I go by Frank. Which means it's time for another edition of This Week in Hot Dog News in Let Me Be Frank. You're sucking on a titty. Pork and beef, sausages and longbread, rolling on a roller-grill, long and airy relish.

One night is a different world. Two on dog bites with a girl. Munch on, munch on, and chomp all night. You're smiling, farting, and you'll be all right. That day when the casing has snapped, later that day you'll for sure have to nap as it simmers in the city like you're sucking on a titty.

You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hot dog frying all the time. You ain't never been a burger and you ain't no lunch of mine. Well they said you were sandwiched Well that was just a lie They said you were sandwiched Well that was just a lie You're just a boner round a winner So you should not qualify Today was gonna be the day that I thought I'd have a frank to chew By now you should be eating franks wash them down with a Mountain Dew I don't believe that any hot dog feels the way you do inside my mouth

And all the dogs I have to eat are frozen And all the pans I used to cook are broken I could not broken There are many meals that I would like to eat on you But I don't know how Because maybe You're gonna make my hot dog tasty And my friends won't chill Cause you're my formant grill Anyway, like I was saying, hot dog is the fruit of the land.

You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, grill it, saute it. There's hot dogs, chili dogs, chili cheese dogs, pan fried, deep fried, corn dog fried. There's Chicago style dogs, New York style dogs, Coney dogs, Dodger dogs, corn dog fried. There's Chicago-style dogs, New York-style dogs, Coney dogs, Dodger dogs, Fenway Franks, DC half-smokes, Norrin dogs, Frankenbeans, Carolina slaw dogs, hot dog sandwich. That's about it. OK, Mitch, let's do...

We could check in on Hot Dog News. Wags, good news. They're not complaining about your sound anymore. Is the ring security guy still on the phone? Well, you know what, let's check in with the ring security guard who, you know what, was also the burglar in that video, Wags. Wow! Mike, are you there? Great job Mike Mike also edited every video that you've seen tonight And you let him you let him film himself in your apartment make coffee through your cat's asshole

Even change his name to Ring Securities, which we will never change back. We, I don't know, I don't know who charged my phone. I don't know if it's real or not anymore. Great job, Mike. Thank you, that was great. A champ. Wow. See you, bud. Yeah. Thank you for everything. Sorry that all your time resulted in this.

Goodbye. I can sleep now. Yeah. Genie, you're free. Goodbye Mike. We love you. Thank you dude. See ya.

See ya. Great job. Oh my gosh. The burglar and the ring security officer. An Alto Knight's-esque performance. That is true. Or a Theo James-esque performance. The burglar and the ring security officer. An Alto Knight's-esque performance. That is too rude. Or a Theo James-esque performance.

Theo James. Or a White Clumps performance. A White Clumps. Do people know that you're sitting on, speaking of ring security, Ken? I thought you were about to say you were sitting on Jemmy. I got so scared. That he's sitting on a ring protector.

Oh, yeah. I obviously do have a cushion. I sit on a cushion. Oh! And Wiggs has a back pad. I do have a back pad. Wiggs has a lumbar support. Yeah, you gotta be here for five hours. You gotta be comfortable.

Thank you. How are you guys? Are you comfortable? I'm fine. I'm fine, yeah. My mouth is absolute fucking newspaper, but other than that I'm doing great. Did anyone believe that it was real? Mitch, I'm trying to get the hell out of that I was a little like oh no, it's just gonna really lose

When Emma and Amelia asked us to do the final episode I went that's amazing I have this bit planned send me the the ring doorbell. And I'm like, don't say anything. And then I was like, I had to say something because they're doing a bit. And that is so much less fucked up than what I was gonna do. Which is great. Which we were like, we were discussing this and we were like, should we tell Gabor's

that this is like a, like we have a thing planned. We were afraid of what you were gonna do. But it was great. It was great. It was great. But were you gonna pretend to break into my place? I was gonna pretend that someone was breaking into my place, but they had Wally in her room.

He says, he knows I'm with you. All right, Mitch, let's do one quick check in a piece, cause we're tight on time of the latest hot dog news. I use, excuse me, I use Microsoft Copilot, which is the AI assisted version of Bing. And here's what they say are a roundup of the latest hot dog happenings. Number one, a viral fake promotion claimed the Mets were selling the dog bowl featuring 12 hot dogs and a helmet for $12.99.

That's fake. Well, it turned out to be a hoax. It sparked a playful rivalry among baseball fans. That's fun My friends my friends went to a baseball stadium. That was your dog got into free With you and my friends all dressed up as Also like that like that's a hoax is that 12 hot dogs cost a dollar each I guess Also, like, that's a hoax is that 12 hot dogs cost a dollar each? I guess so. That's such a bummer.

That's such a bummer hoax, especially when someone walks into the stadium with a gun and says, like, I demand to see the basement where they're selling hot dogs. The burger and hot dog chain Doghouse, which we reviewed on the podcast. I love Doghouse. Big fan. Big fan. The former, one of the head chefs there, Adam Gertler was a guest on the podcast. Oh yeah.

Gertman, we love him. Is expanding to Ohio with four new locations planned for the Columbus area. So there you go. Dude, they're gonna love it. Don't they like, I guess chili dogs? Chili on pasta. Chili on pasta, nevermind.

They could care less. Are those Coneys there? Coneys, yes. They Coneys, they Coneys. Coneys. Wait, where is this? Ohio. Ohio, yeah, it's conies, I think.

Ohio. Yankee Stadium's 2025 food selection, Gabris, is a home run featuring sashimi, Maine lobster, crazy hot dogs, and espresso martinis. Wow. That's the most fucking New York bullshit ever. Watching a baseball game, drinking espresso martini is the most fucking

bridge in hot dogs oh I don't know if the sashimi is on the hot dogs yeah what's the yeah where's the hot dog tag like uh I said that's crazy hot dog crazy hot dog oh okay what's crazy about them are there any details I'm gonna read in there I'll get in here it's the New York Post so I was gonna read it beginning to end tonight anyways. Let's see here. Read more. There's some, there's like, this is like,

if you like went in a cocoon of trash. Unfortunately, that looks like if I went on a diet. You look much better than that, man. Along with your starting team of hot dogs and chicken buckets, there'll be bites, knock it out of the park, this is so boring. Yeah, this is really boring. So it's just kind of hot dogs will be there

and sashimi and espresso martinis? Samuelson's Bird Dog is a stadium where them hot dog topped with fried chicken tenders, garlic aioli, pickles and cheese sauce. Yeah, I'd try that. I'm gonna be all right. I would eat that. I don't hate that.

I have like four or five of those in like the first inning and just kind of ride it out. Like seven martinis, a bunch of martinis. A couple espresso martinis, a fill of fucking Yankees helmet with the shit. Seventh inning stretch my asshole wide open. Yeah, yeah, my asshole into the toilet. Goat see myself in the fucking... Take me out. Buy me some peanuts and cracker chips.

There's an article, this is just like the advertising on the New York Post, but place an ice cube on a burger when grilling. Oh, that's interesting. Do you do that? I've never done that. Oh, can't keep it creamy or whatever, juicy? Yeah, if you put it, sometimes they put the lid on with the little cube next to it just to get the steam going off of flat top.

Steam it up! Yeah. But I feel like that's like a cheese melting method, because if you do that with just the patty, you're kind of just steaming the whole patty instead of grilling it. You can even get the bun in there if you want a little light.

Ooh. This is honestly like hanging out with my mom. It goes on her phone and then says a headline like every two minutes or so. Oh my goodness, they're gonna pave over the beach with a parking lot. Okay, any more details? Where?

Let me see, my mom's like, oh no, there was a tsunami. I'm like, where? And she shows me the video she's looking at and it's from like 1985 and I'm like, mom, what the fuck, whose account is this? She's like, it's someone I follow on Facebook. It was not in any, it was not in English at all. It was like, oh, some Asian characters, I may be Japanese maybe I don't recognize it and I was like mom

How are you following a Japanese miss info site? They had a tsunami there's there's not there's not a lot of there's not a lot of hot dog Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. We're going we're getting towards the warmer weather. I'm surprised that there's not more Copilot is pretty these these are pretty thin here and you know, it could just be the AI but Portillo's links up with actor BJ Novak's chain for a fancy glizzy gimmick. Okay There you go. I look forward to that email in my inbox Hawaii this the Hawaii hot dog that deserves a lines out the door That's my it says. Oh, that's my wheelhouse.

You had me at lines. This one, Mitch. This is one Mike retarded you. Rogers Coney Island in Fall River, Massachusetts is reopening with a Fenway Park themed menu just in time for baseball season. So how about that? That's fun.

That'd be fun, a giant green menu that's really hard to like super large. I'll have the, is that a small, what is this a small? No, ordering a small. Have you ever been to a Fenway Park? Have you ever visited? No. You never had a Fenway Frank? No.

I would love that. I've had like a dozen or so Fenway Franks, but I've never been to the stadium. Me and Carl, the burglar, Mike Dorpen and Emma all went to a Red Sox game. Fun. The burglar, Mike Dorfin and Emma, all went to a Red Sox game. Wagger was invited, there was a ticket, no one used it. And it was a blast, I had COVID. It was a great time. Oh, and Nick didn't go and get COVID from you? Oh, he joined us for pizza afterwards,

and I picked the pepperonis off his slice of pizza. What a lovely time. Well, Wags, that does it for another installment of Let Me Be Frank. Yeah, let's get into Wendy's. A mid-show Let Me Be Frank. Wow, how about that? Very good.

Wow. Part two of our- There's a mid-show Ring Cam into Let Me Be Frank into a light Googling for an idea for the big finale. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Now this Wendy's is across the street from a middle school In-and-out burger and the Wendy's are like like right now like this are these the Culver ones They're there there stones three way back I don't know what that's been a five minute walk from from door to door I did not go back to back because I was like I want an empty tummy I do not want to be like too full for this I want want to rip off our friend, Louis CK's famous bang. Exactly.

Our dear friend. Come back, Louis. Miss you. How much that cost you in donations? That would be the final donation if I had a guess. I did like, because we had that bit earlier, and I did have a moment of pause where I was like, should I do a bit where I am doing

a black special needs character? And then I was kind of like, Trump's president again. What are we doing here? I think I could be Bubba. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying Bubba again.

The whole thing was fine, you shouldn't have said that, Clark. What the fuck are you doing? Dear Lord. We're allowed to say Bubba again. He loves shrimp. And he's bringing the shrimp, he's got all kinds. You can imitate Bubba if you want now.

We're allowed to do Bubba. We can do Forest. Jenny's allowed to get AIDS. Oh, what a horrible girl she was. She almost gave Forest AIDS. Peas and carrots, more like AZT. What a horrible lady. She gave Haley Joel Osmond, she gave him AIDS.

I would like to get her a harmonica. Should have gotten a harmonica. I prefer my lieutenants to not have lost their legs. Man, it would be great to do force come to just to have him meet a CG Trump Everything's computer I he's talking about himself. I'm all computer now. Lieutenant Tehan voted for me, and the actor who played him definitely voted for me. Yeah! Yeah!

Alright, anyways, Wendy's. So I went to the Wendy's, it's across through from the In-N-Out. The vibe's in restaurant night and day. It's like a packed restaurant versus like the Wendy's was just kind of like a bummer. It was just, you know, a lot of unpassed people with no public space to go in who were just like, like hanging out there. And so like, you know, it was very different

than the bustling sort of dynamic of the In-N-Out Burger. I did think it was a good Wendy's outing. The Dave's Double I got, which is, you know, just basically their equivalent of an In-N-Out Burger. And I really liked that. It's one of my go-to orders. I like it more than the Baconator. Good Wendy's Outing, the Dave's Double I got, which is just basically their equivalent of an outburger, and I really like that. It's one of my go-to orders. I like it more than the Baconator,

and I wasn't eating bacon for so long, and I don't really miss the Baconator, so I was like, I'll just get the Dave's Double. That's my go-to. Really liked it. I'd not had success with the Spicy Nugs before, but I was like, I'll try the Spicy Buffalo Nugs just to see how they are in store,

because they've not had them in store before. The saucy ones? The saucy ones, yeah. And I also got the- What is his order? I also got a sour cream and chive baked potato because I'm not crazy about Wendy's fries. And I thought it was a pretty good equivalent

to the animal fries. And I also got a vanilla frosty and an all natural lemonade. What were everybody else's orders? And Mitch, you went last night. I did. Wise, I went last night. We were filming all this bullshit that was worth it. Yeah, all worth it.

All worth it. Great job by my, I guess, you know, I guess like the scripts were bad is probably a part of the issue, is what we wrote was pretty bad. But, um. A wonderful execution of your garbage. Yes, a wonderful execution of our garbage.

Yeah. You guys ordered Jersey Mike's, and I had to pass up on Jersey Mike's because I had to eat Wendy's. And so I drove. Oh man, it's been Sophie's choice. What? You said Sophie's funny? This is so funny. No, I'm sorry, I can't. I have to eat Wendy's for work. This thing goes back to the uniqueness of the Wendy's run to the finale.

Wendy's Jersey Mikeikes was the first round matchup. Wild. We opted to pick Jersey Mikes for dinner for our own order when we're all tired and we're all shooting a bunch of bullshit. You had to get Wendy's to get the Jersey Mikes. But let me tell you, people were excited when I came back with that. I came back with that Wendy's lightning fast. It looked so good. It did look really good. I came back, but I went and got my Wendy's and came back. I was halfway through my Jersey Mike sandwich. You left and came back and it was like 10 minutes. Yeah, very fast. It was super fast. It's close enough. It's not super far away from our studios.

But I went there and I got my spicy chicken sandwich. I got a number six large with a Coke Zero is what I got. And I got a Dave's single with cheese. And then I got the thin mint a Dave single with cheese. Yeah. And then I got the Thin Mint Frosty Rice. Oh wow. Okay. I just gotta say this. I love that drink because you don't have to brush your teeth

after you eat. You just pound a bunch of Girl Scout cookies before bed. I eat two pack my lips with Thin Mints like they're Zin packs. They'll last the whole time. And go to sleep. Wake up with like black teeth. I do xyla melts now. Do you know xyla melts? I use the CPAP, so I use xyla melts,

and it's just these things that melt in your mouth, keep your mouth moist when you go to sleep. Overnight? Yeah. OK, where do you tuck them? You stick them right on the side of your tooth. Kind of like a jaw? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whoa, that's jaw. Yeah. Yeah You're afraid I'm gonna choke I'm afraid if we're sharing an Airbnb on the road I'm gonna be fucking time licking some fucking silent What is it is a lozenge what it what is it exactly? This is a little thing that sticks inside your teeth it melts in your it melts over the course You'll like wake up and it will be like dissolving that melts over the course of your life. You'll wake up and it will be dissolving. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You giving me CPR, just shooting my guts out of my body. Shooting his. I get so winded out, the 15th chest compression, I go down next to you. And then Ygrest uses his hands on me and his cock on your chest. One body, two body, three body, four body. One buddy, two buddy, three buddy, four buddy. How is the Thitman shake?

The Thitman frosty, I got it chocolate, you can get vanilla or chocolate. I thought it was pretty damn fantastic. I attempted to get it and I failed. They gave me chocolate frosty instead. But I tasted yours. I didn't think it was really good. I prefer the regular chocolate frosty. So do I though. But it's a really good execution of that. Of course I like the regular frosty more, but like, but it, what it's, cause I don't

like mint and chocolate. I don't like as much as just chocolate. Yeah, it's a fun LTO. But the, but Don't like vegetables, don't like mint. Yeah, I'm fine. Too much green. There's too much green in the Thin Mints. But for what it was trying to do, it's like mushed up Thin Mint wags. But more than that, that spicy chicken sandwich and you had had a bad visit to Wendy's on one visit. Yeah.

But my spicy chicken sandwich, I just want to say this. Yes. Just like Susser, Susser and the spicy chicken sandwich both had flu games. The spicy chicken sandwich Wendy's is like, Wendy's is, we did a restaurant revision on Wendy's. It's been- Chain rescue. Chain rescue, sorry, thank you for correcting it. A chain rescue on Wendy's.

Yes. We think it's so bad that it needs help. It is, it has certainly seen a noticeable decline. This Cinderella run of Wendy's has been unbelievable. And I was like, you're going to just think I'm being bullshit. I gave you a bite of my spicy chicken sandwich. And was it not damn good? No, it was very good.

I said it was like the best spicy chicken sandwich I had in like five years. It was so fucking good. Oh, that's awesome. It was the chew game instead of the flu game. Gabriel Spezi, y'all had Wendy's pre-show as well. What was your experience? Spicy chicken sandwiches, both.

There's a little bit of a confusion, right? I got one spicy and one plain, because I love a plain chicken, a non-spicy chicken sandwich. But we ended up somehow with more like six spicy chicken sandwiches, which is fine, not complaining. We're going to Wendy's after with Amelia to determine whose fault it is Hers or the person at Wendy's I'm gonna be and I'll be all in the after show I'm taking a follow cam like cops Go in there Amelia see whose fault it was shooting it through the window

So we had we both had spicy chicken. Yeah, we both had regular and spicy nugs Yes, and then I got a junior bacon chi which is on my Wendy's normal order I got a son of the bacon eater Which is pretty much just a mini one and then fries in a diet dr. Pepper Oh, and we like shared the fries and stuff. Yeah, and I got a vanilla frosty If you want to do a little head fry matchup, everyone asked Betsy if they can have a few fries. No one asked me if I could have an out-fry.

Nobody wanted those in and out-fries. Yeah, it makes sense. And the Wendy's fries were popping. The Wendy's barbecue sauce, I was impressed with. Yeah, it's good. I got to say, Mitch, when you were talking about the spicy chicken sandwich, my mouth started watering.

Hell yeah. I put one of those packets in your mouth. Does Iowa mouth? Thank you. So let me talk through my Wendy's experience. So I think the Dave's Double was very solid. I thought the spicy buffalo nugs were unfortunately disappointing. I'm sorry, the saucy, I should make it clear, the saucy Buffalo Nugs, not the spicy Buffalo, the spicy Nugs,

which are a separate menu item. These are not the dry guys who use it with the pre-sauce. I think it's fundamentally a flawed concept, the idea of a saucy nugget. Why are we doing that? What's fun about a nugget is, you know, like, everyone's trying this right now. Like, KFC was trying it.

What's fun about a nugget is that you get to use your own amount of dip, and then also that it's like, it's like crispy, right? Like, you don't want that thing just sort of sitting and marinade. So I think it fundamentally didn't work. It gets into boneless wing territory, which kind of already, that's already being done better

other places, and I hate it also. I don't need that. With like nuggets, it's so fun to do like a barbecue dunk by a ranch dunk by a honey mustard. It's so fun to try it all. Or if you're getting crazy like me, I'm pretty impressed with the move I pulled in the head gum. I grabbed some of their honey sticks,

popped them open, and put honey on my chicken nuggets. What a move, wow. And I know sauce is lost in the boss, and dip is in the rip or whatever. We don't know what the fuck any of the rules are, but Wags, you don't like the saucy nuggets. You've already established it. I wanted to try them,

I wanted to try the spicy buffalo in store and see what that experience is like. That's the reason they did. And I also was like, I love their spicy nuggets, regular, their regular nuggets I think are great. I love their spicy chicken sandwich. I'll try something new just to, just for the sake of it. Cause I've been trying something new

with each visit to these chains. The sour cream chive baked potato was very good. I think I love that Wendy's has baked potato. If there's ever something like, like, you know, Black Rock Capital or one of these fucking private equity firms buys Wendy and Wendy's and tries to min max it and say like we'll have like, you know, point one percent more profit if we get rid of the baked potato and the chilies. Chili, if they ever do anything like that and be so fucking mad,

I'm gonna flip out on one of them like like I'm gonna flip on Black Rock Capital like they're the fucking chat. If they fucking take any of the Wendy's sides off the menu, which is just to be slightly more profitable. The chili's so fucking good, and it's so awesome that they have it. Wendy's was so not a part of my childhood. If we got to choose a fast food place, we would never choose Wendy's.

Because to me, Wendy's was like for old people because of the baked potato and chili. And then I like, to me, that's what makes it Wendy's. That and square burgers, which they don't do anymore, but for a while, like, that's what I... Are the burgers not square? They're square. Oh, they are? Okay.

They're thicker though now. They're thicker, yeah. But that's like the... It's like what happened with Steak and Shake, which a lot of, you know, I'm not from the Midwest. I didn't grow up with Steak and Shake. My experience with Steak and Shake is through Susser. Glad he's back in the dead.

And the issue with Steak and Shake is we've seen Sardar Baglari, who is this complete piece of shit, and we see through their social media now. They're just pandering to Trump with all the maha stuff. Because they're just like, they're so, he's mismanaged the company so much that all he has now is to try to get these fucking mega chuds to try to buy his restaurant for the meme fact.

No, to eat his restaurant for the meme factor, to eat at his restaurant for the meme factor. Because he's completely stripped out everything that's unique about it. They used to have these big, huge menus and table service. And he was just like, let's get rid of all that, let's replace the table service with kiosks. So you're ordering in a fucking robot, and then someone's bringing it out to your table,

it's just like you've completely lost the charm, you've lost way people go to this place. And I'm just like, I'm catastrophizing if this happens to Wendy's at some point in the future Hopefully it won't because part of what I like about it is they have shit like a baked potato and they have shit like their Chili can't make me hollow out much more money from Wendy's. Yeah, I know I would like they're already operating I'd probably like a fucking bare minimum. I can't believe the run Wendy's has had here I'm gonna say this and I will I will say that something's going on in the other room.

I feel like you're gonna be mad at me for this, but the Dave single that I got from Wendy's was better than my single burger from In-N-Out. I'm just gonna say that. That's okay. May I say my son of the Baconator was better than my In-N-Out. Wow. Okay, so Betsy and I both were really, we're Taco Bell experts, we love In-N-Out. Wow. Okay, so Betsy and I both were really,

we're Taco Bell experts, we love In-N-Out, we like Wendy's. I truly was surprised by Wendy's run. Yes. Not only in this tournament, not only in, now you guys say Toc-Cot, I think it's Toc-Oh-Cot. But okay, there's one more of in there, we can't eliminate one of the ofs. But I gotta say, I was so blown away by Wendy's.

I knew In-N-Out was gonna fuckin' bring it, and they did. But Wendy's, I was like, yeah, sure, I'll eat some Wendy's chicken. I was fucking impressed. It was so good. So let me, just to finish off what I was talking about, the vanilla frosty was great, the vanilla shake from In-N-Out Burger was better,

but that's just how I feel about their shake versus the Wendy's frosty, whatever. No new information.-and-out burger was better But that's just like how I feel about their shake versus the the Wendy's frosty whatever no new information The the let then all natural lemonade I was surprised by this was horrible It tasted like the water was dirty, and it was like hot it like came out Like it was all natural We all make it Natural lemonade of all sweet, uh That was a huge bummer. Remember Will Ferrell as the weird art model?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all. Remember that? The thinker and the stinker. The stinker. We're doing a live Chris Farley show here. Live Andrew Lemons cake lemonade, which I gotta do right now.

A live Chris Farley show without the actor here. Without all the card. Oh my god. Just for Chris Farley's going, did you have this spicy chicken sandwich? It was great, right? Yeah, it's pretty good, right? It's pretty spicy, right? What's the other thing?

It's like, it's like, cause he's a nude model for an art class. He's like, it seems the mighty Kong has arisen. Yeah, oh, it seems as though the mighty Kong has a reason As you can see I'm grading on a curve Fucking disgusting will ferrell's messed up My fries were not great. Yeah, I'm not crazy about Wendy's fries. They changed them. They changed their fries. They definitely changed them.

I do like their baked potato a lot though. So that's things like, I'll just get the baked potato. Or I'll get their chili. And I love that they have those options. We gotta send you into Black Rock. You do your thing. Yell at everybody. You're right, this is awesome.

Let me say this. After this experience, I was like, well, I clearly have my decision. Like, I just know, you know, I know what, I frankly thought it was all over for one of these. Wow. And then I was riding the bus home from seeing a documentary on the Aum Shinriko cult,

which killed, you know, a dozen people on the Tokyo subway with the sarin nerve gas. And it's a great documentary, it's just called Aum. I highly recommend it if it comes to straight. You were worried about how you were gonna come off in that documentary, did you come off okay? Oh, yeah, it was great. comes to straight. You were worried about how you were gonna come off in that documentary. Did you come off okay? Yeah, it was great.

Okay, good. You made some really good points. I was riding the train home after watching the documentary about a terrorist attack on a train. Cute smile on his face. I was on the bus, if I said it's a train. I was on the bus and I looked over and there was a bus bench ad and it said,

and I took this as a sign, family is love. And this bench ad was for the Dave Thomas Foundation. Whoa, that's wild. The ghost of Dave Thomas is spoken. I have to go back to give Wendy's a fighting chance, so I went back. What?

For your seventh Wendy's of the month. I went back. Oh my God. This is beautiful, Wags, I love this. And I dined in again. I got the spicy chicken sandwich. Wow. Mitch, like yours, last night, it was so fucking good.

The chicken breast was perfectly hot inside. You know when you take a bite into it, like a chicken breast, and it's crispy on the outside, it's got that perfect texture, but then inside, is like just on the cusp of being too hot. Like it would have burned your tongue. It was like five degrees hotter. You have to kind of hold the food in your mouth and breathe like, ah.

But it's so good. It's like exactly what you want. Yes. Ah, you sit with like a burning hot. I know this experience very well. It was so fucking good. When you see your breath indoors, that's the craziest thing.

I love when mayo gets hot on those sandwiches. I do, yeah, because it's just a spicy chicken breast, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. I am sort of a heat seeker, so I love the spicy one over the regular one. It's a simple sandwich. And I would have gotten the spicy nugs, but what I haven't gotten this month is the regular nugs.

So I just got regular chicken nuggets, but they have a Ghost Pepper Ranch Dippin' Sauce, which comes on their Ghost Pepper sandwich. I got that as my Dippin' Sauce, and you know what? It was only okay on the sandwich, but as a sauce, as a dipping sauce, I loved it. Like it was a great amount of heat, a great amount of ranch flavor,

and then again, just those nuggets were just so perfectly crisp and hot in restaurant. I also got an unsweetened iced tea that was hitting. But I had that. And if I'm thinking this in terms of what the original rules, I know that the whole menu is on the menu as decreed by Commissioner Susser, but if I'm thinking this in terms of the regular rules,

and it's chicken versus burgers, you know, it might be a different conversation. Yeah. It was, I'm really glad I went back. Why? Because I'm happy you went back. And let me just say I didn't need to go back to In-N-Out Burger. I've had In-N-Out Burger so many times and I had In-N-Out Burger at its absolute peak. So

it's like I know I know my verdict on In-N-Out Burger. There's nothing on this menu that I haven't had before. I know what I think about. I was coming home from seeing a documentary about the DC sniper. And I see a letter from Paul to the Corinthians. And I go, it's a sign. I gotta get you out of here. I gotta get you out of here.

Because every day in a fucking psychic loop. I truly thought I was walking in here, gonna say in and out and get the fuck out of here. And now I'm truly, it's fucking, it's a real match up. Who knows? No, I don't know anymore. One real quick question. Yeah, please. If they, you know the spicy, the saucy nuggets.

Yes. If they were to have that saucy, but as a chicken sandwich, would you have liked it more as a saucy chicken sandwich? Yes, I believe I would have. I think I, just from your description, I was like. But not as much as the spicy, the spicy chicken sandwich is one of the best. What's so good about it is that it's pretty spicy

for how like, it's not a lot going on there. And I slide that tomato off, as the ladies know, and it was fucking so impressive. It was so good. It was so tasty. And the other thing, like just what you said, what you're describing is like to me a buffalo chicken sandwich, which I like. That is so tasty. And the other thing I will, like just, what you said, what you're describing is like, to me, a buffalo chicken sandwich, which I like. I think those work.

We need to, Mitch, we need to crown a champion, but before we do that, there's one additional award we must give out. We do it every tournament. That's right, Wags. The Heart of a Champion Award. The Heart of a Champion. This award goes to an individual, group, or object

that has displayed extraordinary medal this tournament. Past winners include Five Guys, Armin Weitzman, Super Mario, the fans, Grimace, BJ Spazuki, Italians, Lids, Lids which famously defeated Casey. Sorry, Casey. And then of course, Gidget the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Our nominees for this year.

We got quite a few. Delivery drivers, of course. Yeah. Thank you for your service. George Foreman, whose grill we mentioned for his grill. That was a very respectful tribute, Mitch. You're wonder while Perry's about the George Foreman grill. George Foreman.

Really beautiful. I've got 11 missed calls from George Foreman, or all 11 George Foremans have called me Wags Jared for being brave in prison all these years. Yeah Jared Fogel We also of course Jared Fogel for modding the subreddit. Thank you Jared and Wendy the anti-Jerry Yes, and the curvy anti-Jerry As we establish Jimmy of course Yes, and the curvy anti-Jerry as we as we established Johnny's got big old diddies we know that the white boards which we've used all tournament. That's right. Yes the white boards

Yeah, I probably won't win because of DEI I'm glad we did that joke still The ring chime logs were protecting Wally and Irma, which was also a part of the bit. David Lynch, his last name kind of sounds like lunch. He's passed away. But Wags, I honestly, I want to say, it's been 10 years and this show hasn't been possible without our listeners and the support

that people have given us over the years. It's true. We're ultimately very blessed. And I know I lashed out earlier. I want to do that on occasion. I think Mitch and I will occasionally blow our stack at people, but we're blowing our stack at an individual.

You know, like one turd, you know what I mean? And so I feel like it's like- Also, maybe a person who had a bug, maybe he had a bug on his computer. Maybe he had a bug on his computer. But you know, and it was too dumb to hear that. Maybe it was a 12 year old girl whose dad set it up for her and it was like her first time watching her favorite podcast.

That's a possibility. That's a possibility. How was it, honey? Don't ask. I told you the sound was off. The other thing I was going to say is on balance, like we're so grateful to our fans. They's such a great community, we love our Dose cord, we've been saying the subreddit is good again, and of course, you and I are extremely blessed that everyone supports us on Patreon

and tunes into things like the livestream and will hopefully join us for the live reverse call in show, number on the screen, text it with your phone number, we might call you back. That's right, there's another hour of this shit after this. Even, it's scheduled for longer, but it won't be too long. Yeah. So, right? Right? Right?

We're like a half hour behind already, so. We're doing great. Oh, perfect. We give our listeners a lot of shit, Mitch. Yeah. But I will say, and Emma pointed this out, there's something else we give a lot of shit, our toilets.

Why is that is a great point. And toilets have been with us since day one of this podcast and with all the food we eat and then shit out of our bodies, out of our assholes, that has to go from our assholes to somewhere. You guys just got into toilets around the time of the start of this podcast. Yeah, I was late to the toilet game

first time I ever used one was the start of this podcast what the fuck? we didn't have to sit feral audio there was one just Harman was in there the whole time it's a story circle. Wags, so you're telling me that it's between the listeners and toilets. Oh, these are the same picture. Mitch, I have a feeling we both have the same winner. I agree, Wags. Toilets you're the winner!

You have the heart of a champion! Emma can we get a ten flush salute? Toilets they take all the doughboy shit without complaining. Actually mine has started to moan but that's a good moan but that's more daddy oh yeah we can't hear the tents flush loot well their headphones you're getting the same as always they're never gonna play it live in the room with the mic you know it's only year, we'll sort it. I've been petting- You've not stopped petting- I've been petting Jemmy for two straight hours. Yes! If I just look at the clock.

She looks cute as shit. She looks so cute. All you need is to get stoned, do some bits with your friends, pet a dog, eat some parking lot. You were stoned? Heaven on earth. I was joking, I know you were.

I smelled the weed when you came in. I smelled the weed when you came in. I'm not a narco. I told the RA immediately. Marty Michael, get back to work. I know you left at one. Emma, is that all 10 flushes? That was all 10 flushes.

Wow. Wow, it only took about two minutes. We love our toilet. 10 flushes, that's me twice every morning. So much more pleasant. On a good, healthy morning. It was such a more pleasant listening experience than the Noids song.

You were running water. It was tranquil. All right listening experience than the Noids song. You're running water, it was tranquil. All right, if you are listening to this live, again, stick around for the post show reverse call-in show where we will be calling you the freaks. And if you're listening to this in the main feed on the podcast, you can buy the replay at moment.co slash doughboys to see the full video, including the pre-show and the post show,

which won't be in the podcast feed. So go ahead moment.co slash doughboys. Again, if you're on the Patreon, there is a discount code you can use to buy the replay as well. And you can also sign up for the Patreon and then, you know, you can use that code after you signed up for the Patreon to basically get a free month and also get to see the streams. So check that out. Holy shit.

Check it out. Check that out. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We also have also have merch madness in partnership with kinship goods kinship goods is is it dot dot is kinship goods dot com slash doughboys at the URL and then if you use the uh... the code totcock uh... the code totcock will get you twenty percent off of all doughboys merch plus a free jemi button which is so cute so get that jemi button get 20% off your merch and

buy the replay moment dot co slash doughboys this is it the champion of champions which chain's food is going to the merpeople whose name will forever be engraved on the Dave Thomas cup let us distribute the whiteboards and write down our answers I'm very happy you two are here for us with here with us for this moment yes the truth to Two great friends of the show. Two of the best in all of podcasting. Thank you for having us. We're so honored to be here.

It's always a highlight of my year. What? It's nothing. What are you doing? Weren't we supposed to shake each other's hand at some point? We were going to do the, oh. Yeah, when we were on the P body, we were going to shake each other's hands.

That's when we were doing it. It was awkward the way staging it was, there were just too many bodies. All right, sorry. I remember we had to shake hands at some point. Anyways, back to the show. Oh boy. We do have one more bit we can just remember that. Oh yeah, that's right.

Yeah, don't forget that. Yeah, okay. Gabris, Betsy, two of the funniest people in the world. And we love you both. Two people like us who could, you know, in a different world could have had like our podcast and a more successful version of it because you're both funnier. But like also like, like you also really like- But neither of us are a captain.

I mean they are funnier than us. You need a captain. I'd like to be the one who says it instead of you. But also like the, the thing I was going to say is like, like we, we know you both love this food the way we love this food Like you love to eat this this kind of yeah I said this affectionately trash and so we're so glad to have you here for the 10th tournament finale Oh, it means so much to be here

like I'm such a fan of the pod and to be a part of it is always exciting and then to come with Betsy and Honestly, I love you guys, but the hour of just eating fast food with Betsy in a headgum We should do that once. I mean, we do. Yeah, we should do a bit more, I guess. That was what was fun about seeing, I've talked about it before, but seeing the monkey with the action boys is that we're not monetizing this

in any way. We're just hanging out with our friends. As a matter of fact, Nick treated us. And then Nick refused to use the Doughboyz card. He wanted it to be from Nick Frank. Because then it feels like a business thing, right? Yeah. And Mitch and I tag-teamed the waitress.

Jesus Christ. Bagged her and tagged her. CaseyMakesMovies.com to watch. To watch. We're calling it the only fat Eiffel Tower of the year. Wait, what are you guys writing down right down? Right down the winner. No right down the winner Fuck I'm so torn. Oh

My god This is not an easy decision for me I certainly know no one there. No, I don't fly any false flags people know where my loyalties lie Drew that a super s Me and Betsy you're gonna get matching Taco Bell tattoos. Wow. If anybody else wants in. I love it.

We're inspired by Weiger Tiger Thigh Girl. Yes! Are you gonna pick, well you got some thigh tattoos of your own there, very cool. Yeah, dude. Do you have a place on your body picked out for them? No, we haven't really picked out exactly what the design is yet.

We're torn between like a cheesy gordita crunch and or like some bell representation. Yeah. Yeah, I could be or like some Bell representation. Yeah I would have fought soft I'll say mines and potatoes off taco. Mine's a CGC. I was fine with the beat with the b5l I could do it but you introduced me to that item. I love that Yeah, we've been very mean to it just over the last, but you know what? It's a thing that does not, if you let it sink.

I've got a new way of eating it that is just the best. So next time you get it, do what I do. I call it Gogurt style. You bite the end off, spit it out, and then suck all the beaten cheese out. Oh my God. You can have like 15 of them while you drive. While you drive.

Yum. Has everyone made their decision? Yes. Okay, I will count down from three to one. We will flip the white boards over. Oh my God. And we will say, allowed, our answers in unison.

And we've decided since we only ever put In-N-Out and Wendy's on the cup, we just will remove one of the winners from the cup. That's all we have to do. We only ever put In-N-Out and Wendy's on that cup. We've will remove one of the winners from the cup. That's all we have to do. We only ever put in and out in Wendy's on that cup. We've done 10 of these. Wow. I guarantee no one does that. Yes, it won't happen still. It won't happen. Three, two, one. Wendy's! Oh my God!

No! Three to one verdict. Wendy's wins! Wendy's wins! What's madness 10? MMX, the tournament of tournament champions, Totcock, what a Cinderella run! Cinderella has red hair! Oh my goodness! Wow! Oh my god, Cinderella has red hair! Wow! They're beautiful!

Wendy's! We are the champions, my friends! This is the last bit we talked about. We are the champions, my friends. And we'll keep on eating till the end. We are the champions. We are the champions. No time for solace, or we will find the champions of the wild. Wow.

Wow. Wow. What a verdict. What a shocker. What a run for Wendy's. That's our show. John Gabras, Betsy Sodaro, Emma Amelia, Kasey Michael did so much work on this. Thanks to Susser, thanks to Yousong, thanks to the Noid. Stick around for the live post show.

Reverse calling show. Look at how bad mine are. I drew the S and I wrote In and Out with Kevin Klein. I drew a very crude Wendy's. Wow, wags, Wendy's. I can't believe it. I just thought they deserved it more. And I just, I'm just, I'm just glad the tournament played out the way it is. Stick around for our live post-show reverse call in show

until then, so it'll be like what, 10 minutes from now? We'll take a little bit of a break to get set up, but we're gonna be right back. We're gonna order some something. We might order something. Two shits, one wife. Oh my God. So stick around for that. It's like a rid order some something. We might order something. Two shirts, one wife. Oh my God. So stick around for that. It's like a riddle or something.

And let's end the podcast proper as we always do. Until next time, for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wigry, happy eating. See ya. Wow, it's merch madness over at Kinship Goods. Get 20% off of all Doughboy's merchandise plus a free Jemmy button at kinshipgoods.com slash% off of all Doughboys merchandise plus a free Jemi button at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys with code TOTCOC. That's T-O-T-C-O-C. And get the video replay at moment.co slash

doughboys. Hey, I'm Wayne Brady. And I'm Jonathan Mangum. And we're two big improv nerds who get a chance to play and make stuff up on shows like Whose Line Is It Anyway or Let's Make a Deal. And we're now hosting a new improvised show called What If on the Head Gum Podcast Network. And on What If, we believe that improvisation is a conversation. So we get to have conversations with guests from the worlds of TV, film, tech, and literature.

Guests like Bobby Moynihan, Aisha Tyler, LeVar Burton, and Adam Conover. We ask them the big ridiculous questions like, what if you heard a monkey's feelings? What if your grandma was a secret agent? What if Jonathan was invited to the cookout? I'm not. And then we turned the conversation into spontaneous scenes, songs, well because that's what we do. Subscribe to What If on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, wherever you get your podcasts, and watch episodes on YouTube. No script, no net, just what if.