Doughboys - Munch Madness X: Wendy's VS Jersey Mike's with Lauren Lapkus and Arden Myrin

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

Lauren Lapkus (@laurenlapkus, Threedom), and Arden Myrin (@ardenmyrin, Will You Accept This Rose) join the 'boys to talk horny movies, favorite flavors, and chicken before tackling the Person region as we kick off Munch Madness X: The Tournament of Tournament of Chomions of Chompions.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. restaurants for a limited time. is going to be crowned the ultimate winner. Okay. Oh my gosh. Ultimate winner. Oh my gosh. I guess. It could go to our listeners to make them snap them out of listening to our show. Okay. No, I got it. Maybe it goes to the original organism that crawled out of the water to start evolution. Wow. To decide whether or not they should keep coming out of the water

or stay in the water so that we're all mer people. Oh my god. So good. A mer, oh my god. A mer-verse. Wow. A mer-verse. Oh, please, I want the mer-verse.

2017, NFL players kneel during the national anthem, President Donald Trump tweets, Kofi-Fi, and a Columbus-founded burglary known for its ginger mascot and square patties is crowned as top fast food burbrevayer in Munch Madness chicken fight. 2022. Russia invades Ukraine. Former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe is assassinated with a homemade gun and a point-pleasant chain founded as Mike's Giant Submarine Shop is designated as best sandwich in Munch Madness Hero's Journey suboptimal. Now, here in 2025, nothing really noteworthy is happening in the news, but all nine of the previous Munch Madness Hero's Journey suboptimal. Now, here in 2025, nothing really noteworthy is happening in the news, but all nine

of the previous Munch Madness victors square off in a winner take out all battle of the buns. Who will emerge as the champion of champions and be awarded the most prestigious trophy in chain restaurant podcasting, the Dave Thomas Cup? Which chain's fair will be sent to the first life form to emerge from the oceans to persuade them to return underwater and create a merpeople utopia?

This week on Doughboys, we begin the quarter-pounder finals of Munch Madness 10, MMX, the tournament of tournament of champions of champions, with the chain named for an individual other than the CEO region, aka the person region, 2017 champion Wendy's versus 2022 champion Jersey Mike's. Ring the bell! -♪ Doughboyz theme playing. -♪ -♪ Doughboyz theme playing. -♪ So it's the Doughboyz... Doughboyz Doughboyz! -♪ Doughboyz theme playing. -♪

Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Saustin Butler, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I thought it was going to be Saustin. Why? It's the tournament. The tournament of champions is here. The tournament of champions.

There's a buzz in the hallways of head gum. People are talking about it out there. Yeah, there was definitely a lot of Amelia coming in with both Wendy's and Jersey Mike saying, it's Munch Madness. And the hunk's going, what's that? Yes. So the buzz here is palpable. And also David Cross being like, what's this podcast?

And I honked him. I got lettuce on him. He got lettuce on me. One of our guests got lettuce on him. I dumped a whole frosty on him. Trying to hug him. And he was like, you eat this food, and then you talk about it? And we're like, yeah.

And he said, thank you for your contributions to the world. That's what he said, and then he left. To society. To society. But Wiggs, you know what? Yeah. This is a contribution to society. Yes.

This is important work. Wow, Mitch, you're right. Sorry, Mr. Cross. Yeah. This is a huge one, Wiggs. This is a work. Wow, Mitch, you're right. Sorry, Mr. Cross. This is a huge one, Wigs. This is a big one. This is the Tournament of Champions of Champions. This is the 10th Tournament of Champions,

the 10th Munch Madness. Oh, actually, it's the Tournament of Tournament of Champions of Champions. There's another Tournament of in there. The Tournament of Tournament of Champions of Champions. This is the 10th Munch Madness. Munch Madness 2025. We've done it for 10 years. Isn't that wild?

The time fly. Wow. No, it's amazing. This is what we've been doing for a decade. No, it's depressing, yeah. This is just a chunk. This is just like a fourth of my life doing this fucking podcast.

Wow. What do you mean? Don't put it like that. Don't put it like that. I thought I'd give Mitch a chance to be compared to one of our newest hot young movie stars, Spoon Nation for Life, Dan Grima from Warrington, England How about that?

Thank you Dan Grima. Are you worried you're gonna not come out of character as Saustin Butler? No one's ever said that to me before Speechless I've never said that to a viewer before. He's literally speechless. Susten. Thank you very, thank you very sauce. That's so Susten. I guess that's what I was going to say. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. This is the way we have Emma. To fix us. To fix our comedy mistakes. We have Emma. Why did you say the obvious.

Ladoo. Wage, what a match up we have today. Wow. We sure do. The 10th anniversary of Munch Madness. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit clock has been set. I'm realizing last year, Mitch. Counting down? It started to be a 10 seconds.

Last year, I'm realizing our Munch Madness was in the midst of Austin Butler fever in the aftermath of Dune Part II. That's right, yeah. Remember, we had our ongoing bit during that Munch Madness. That was, of course course our Taco Bell tournament. Do you have something now? Do you have something now?

Do you have Taco Bell? Our running bit of, what the fuck was it? Casey, do you remember what that was? Casey Dooney Hugh? The bit, the Austin Butler bit? Yeah, it was an Austin Butler bit. It was a match. It was some Elvis shit?

It was Elvis. Elvis Harkinian, that's what it was. Elvis Harkinian, yes. Do you have something this year like that? No, not yet, but we'll figure it out. Oh, not yet. Okay, that's fun. There's still time.

There's still time. It'll be organic. Yes, it'll come organically. It's gonna be organic. Like Elvis Harkonnen did, that's the magic of the Tournament of Champions. And this year it is the Tournament of Champions of Tournament of Champions of Champions.

So the magic is multiplied. 10X, I would say, for the 10th tournament. Will Koalik make an appearance? Maybe. We'll see. He came over last night for dinner. Oh, you had the Koalik dinner. I had a Koalik dinner.

What did you guys have? I put a plate of cheese on the floor for him. And then, uh. Aw. That's nice. That's nice. Did you get him out of your drywall? Yeah.

Oh, there was a trap, I should say. That's nice. We ordered Chi Dynasty. That's what we ordered. Oh, how fun is that? That's nice. That's great. It was nice. It was a trap, I should say. That's nice. We ordered Chi Dynasty. That's what we ordered. Oh, how fun is that? That's great. It was nice.

It was a nice night. But hey, what special surprise will we have? Who knows, Wigs? We're going to find out. But right now, Mitch, I know you've got a drop to play because we've got a couple of guests. That's right. Emma, hit them with the drop. Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Girl! Pearl onion?

Girl! Pearl onion? Girl! Girl! The green onion. I'm stupid, basically. I'm stupid, basically. I'm stupid, basically.

I'm stupid, basically. It sounds nice. Yeah! Girl! The green onion. Girl! Pearl. Pearl.

Pearl. Pearl. Pearl. Pearl. Pearl. Pearl green onions. Roll along. Girl. Roll along. Pop it. Is that me? Yeah.

That's so cute. That was cool. That's so cute. Wow. Hey, Doe Team. Here's the fourth drop I'm sending in five days. Wow. Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands.

Thanks to the Doughboyz crew for helping me fill in, fill it with laughs and for getting my creative juices flowing again. This one is hot off the presses and uses samples from the E.P. that just dropped today with Arden. She seems to keep you on your best behavior. Wait, drops today? Okay, so this is a year ago. That's so cute! She seems to keep you on your best behavior. There weren't nearly as many grim references in this one,

which made for a cleaner drop than I'd normally splice together. Anyway, keep it up and thanks again, best Jonathan in San Francisco. Wow, thanks Jonathan, SF. That's so cute. That's why we kept calling each other girl. I kept calling you girl. And we kept going girl, and I kept calling you girl.

I cannot remember, I don't remember, I can't remember. We've only recorded like 150 other episodes since that happened. That's a great point. That's a great, great point. But I do, that has brought back a memory. Yeah, I had a flashback. I just had, I smelled toast and tasted pennies.

It's like I'm having a stroke. Like I just hear things. I hear torta torta torta, chompy chompy. And I'm like. Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on. Yeah, I had toast, pennies, toast. Cookie puss I'm chomping, I'm chomping, and I'm like... Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on,

turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on,

turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on,

turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, turn it on, but more importantly, host favorites. That's true. They're our favorite people to have on the podcast. Lauren Lapkus and Arden Marine both returning to the show. Thank you both for being here. Hi. Thanks for having me. What a whoop. Hi, Lauren.

Yay. Yep. What a combo. This is a combo. Look, let me just say this. Part of why we thought of this combo is because, Lapkus, you introduced us to Arden. Oh, wow.

Wow. Did you know that? I don't remember. Yeah. But that's great. That's nice. Did you know that? I don't remember, but that's great. That's nice. You stand by that introduction. Yes.

She knows that I like flavors. Yes. That is true. She's always fun, and she's down to do anything. Oh, yeah. Down to clown. But I really like flavors. You are a lover of flavors.

I'm a lover of flavors. I hate that stuff. Oh, boy. You hate flavors. I'm a lover of flavors. I hate that stuff. Oh, boy. You hate flavors. I hate flavors. Oh, my goodness. Only plain.

Actually, it's kind of true. I do like flavors, but I love plain. I like vanilla. You're talking to the right guy. Yeah. Wow. What's going on, Mitch? How many episodes do you have to do?

Who is that? This is his ring camera. I know what this is. This is his ring camera. You're worried about your cats. And so you have the alertsitties. The alerts go through, do not disturb. Someone, a no good burglar broke into- Are you serious?

Into the, so there was, my house is, my home is connected to three other homes. And the one on the other end got the window smashed, broken in two. And he had cased, he looked at my place and almost it was my place. And if they- You saw on the camera or you got-

I saw on the camera. Okay. Creepy. What's also one of those things where you're like, as an animal lover, it's like, take my stuff, don't take my, don't let my animals out. I would be like, I will give you the key, close up and don't let the cats out.

Yeah, don't let the cats out. Don't break a window. Don't let them cut themselves getting at any of it. My Nintendo Switch, take it. But Wally and Irma, the risk of them getting outside. I know. Believe me, you don't have to tell me twice. I'm a maniac.

That's so that is what. And you know what? I'm going to take a look. So what are you going to do though? But what can you do if you see somebody going in? He's going to talk through the ring and go, hey, get out of here. Hey, just let the, don't let the cats out. Don't let the cats out.

It's just Wally leaving on his own. He locked up. He went to work. He's a lawyer. Wally has a job? Yeah. Everything is fine. Everything's fine.

That's good. Do you know, how often do you get the false alarms? And have you gotten any real alarms since you've enabled this? That was a delivery to my house. Okay. That was just a delivery. So it's only false alarm. Yeah.

Well, it's not a false alarm, that's just. An alarm. An alarm. Nothing to be alarmed about, alarm. And we talked about this in the podcast before, but like, what if it's a situation, what if like you're at the movies? Does it go off in your pocket in the movie theater?

Yeah. So you're bothering other people's movie experiences for an Amazon delivery. Look, here's the thing. He loves his cats. Yeah, but that's not, you can't be like, oh my god. I think that, that's, if a phone,

all it does is that small chime. That's not small, we were talking about this for 10 minutes. That's really a phone this it all it does is that small time that's not small Then I would assume I wouldn't hear it again, but then What if someone came by I got two lunches delivered or something Eat it after the movie. It could happen, OK? Sure, sure. You love your cats. You're a very loving cat dad.

I keep it on on set, too, by the way. That's not good. I feel like that's going to get you into trouble. You think nobody else has stuff going on where they want their phone to be on? Get another take. This one sucked anyways. Do a new one.

Who cares? That's what I say. Yeah, they love that. People love that. It was just my Postmates. Do it again. Yeah, can't you have it on vibrate? Will you shut the fuck up, you, specifically?

All right. Girls, girls, vote pretty. We've talked about this. Look, there is a thing. It's never gone off in the movie theater ever. It rarely ever goes off ever. What was the last movie you saw at a movie theater? The last movie I saw at a movie theater was,

oh, actually I saw The Monkey with Nick. We saw The Monkey together. Before that was Vertigo at the Vista. You and I saw The Monkey together with the Action Boys. All three of the Action Boys, Ben Rogers, John Gabris, and Ryan Stanger. And not for content, we just went as friends. We just went as friends.

Wow, that must have felt kind of freeing. Yeah. Should we turn that into content? Yeah, you should. I guess we could do an episode about it. We should do an episode. Yeah. Yeah.

We went to Laurel Tavern afterwards. Fun. I think that's what Laurel died, maybe Grill. It was a fun place. Oh, Grill. Yeah. That's fun. Fun spot.

Lovely time. A lady was like, I'm from Boston too. And I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I couldn't talk back to her. A lady, our server. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We interacted with each other. Okay, our server. Yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, and I couldn't talk back to her. A lady, our server. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were interacting with each other. OK, our server.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was she cute? We were like, oh, have the BLT. He's like, oh, I said I'm from Boston. Stranger danger. Stranger danger. I love pussy. I mean, I have cats.

I have a chime in my pockets because I love pussy. I mean, I love my cats. I mean, I want to see my pussy. I mean, I want to, oh. I'm from Boston, too pockets, because I love pussy. I mean, I love my cat. I mean, I want to see my pussy. I mean, I want to. I'm from Boston, too. 128, not from Boston, actual Boston. I'm from Georgetown, Northchester. Southy, Northy.

Was she a pretty lady? Got nervous? I'm a fucking cousin, then Sully. Ah, I like flavors. We had trouble. It's a thing where we refused much madness. This is honestly not too far off from what really happened. She's backing away slowly into a buzz.

She was pretty. And when she was walking away, I was like, well, OK. And it was one of those things where I was like, this went horribly. And a full table of friends were there to see me. That was fun. They liked it. You did great.

We went to the famous, the Culver Theaterver Theatre, uh, that's where we were. That's right. This is a, this is in Culver City. This is right next to the Amazon lot. People, people don't know that it's right next to, that it's, uh, that it's, it's, it's called the Culver Theatre, but it's actually owned by Amazon. They use it for their Prime Video, but they do sometimes. Yeah. So it wasn't Laurel Tavern. It was a different place. It was, it was, well, we were at, we were at the movie first. We saw the movie, saw the monkey, and then we migrated over to have a meal. OK.

OK. It's a whole movie and a dinner. You had a fellas evening out. Yeah, we had a fellas evening. That's cool. A whole pack of rolls. What was the last movie you saw? In the theater, I saw the Bob Dylan one.

Oh, sure. Yeah. A complete unknown. A complete unknown. A complete unknown. I keep wanting to call it I'm Still Here, which isn't it. That's a different movie. I also saw Baby. But I know it's a complete thought.

I saw Baby. Oh, no, I saw the musical one, the Netflix musical, the Selena Gomez. Oh, Amelia Perez. I saw that. Wags is a huge fan of that. Oh, I don't know what that is. And then I also saw Baby Girl.

I got to see it. Oh, yeah, Baby Girl. I watched the trailer and I was like, horny movie? It wasn't actually that, honestly, I thought it was gonna be much hornier than it was. Okay, well, we'll see.

It's a little bit more chaste. Baby Girl's not horny enough? I expected it to be hornier. It's not that horny. The trailer's horny. Kasey, did you see Baby Girl? You're a Baby Girl guy, right? I did, I am a Baby Girl guy.

Yeah. Was it horny enough? Did you get horny? It was not hor girl guy, right? I did, I am a baby girl guy. Yeah. Was it horny enough? Did you get horny? It was not horny enough. It's not that horny. That's a problem. We have high standards now with all the porn. I was just sort of like, I thought it was fun.

I thought she was fun, but I was like, I'm like, this is crazy. I think it might be partly. The idea of the movie is when you watch the trailer and it's like this young guy and she's like, gaga goo goo, it feels weird to me. It feels like a weird movie. Did you watch it?

Did she say gaga goo goo? The trailer is dirtier than the, like the movie itself was like, wait, what? I was excited because I'm not familiar with the actor and so then I got excited because that's more fun to be like, what's he gonna do? What's he gonna say? I'm like, I don't even know, I can't predict this guy.

The trailer was like, oh okay, baby girl. And then I was like, okay. And I think I was like evacuated. I was like, all right, I'll girl. And then I was like, OK. And I think I was evacuated. I went home, I was like, all right, I'll go see the horny movie with my friend. And then I was like, it was just really, this is banana. You think it's marketed as this big BDSM thing. I don't want to see it because this reminds me too much

of Nick and I's relationship here. Yeah. I always thought of the substance. The substance is wild. I got to see that too. Well, the substance, like, everyone who loves it is like a 22-year-old female. They're like, I love. Because they're not getting older yet.

They're like, fuck you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, spoiler alert. Can I? And some 42-year-old gentleman. I don't know. It gets so crazy at the end. You're like, OK.

I don't want to hear. OK, it just gets crazy. You need to watch it so we can discuss the end. I need to watch it. And just know that every person who recommended it to me was like, 21. You're Look, it just gets crazy. You need to watch it so we can discuss the end. I need to watch it. And just know that every person who recommended it to me was like 21. You're like, it's really important. And it's like, OK.

I don't know if it's important, but I do. I think it's fun. I think it's a lot of fun. It was really fun. I mean, close your ears, Lauren. The end one is like. Also, our audio listeners, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert coming right here.

For the people who are listening to this podcast episode. We'll give you 45 seconds on the clock. Wait, it's like a pizza sliding with Demi Moore's face sliding over like... I was like, this is really... What the fuck is happening? On the concrete? I mean, I... That was... It was. I was like, this is wild. I love it. Strong choices.

I mean, I thought it was fun. I thought it was fun, but I was like, what the fuck? Like, this is like... Also, that movie's pretty horny, by the way. That movie's pretty horny, too. OK, we're back. Did I hear horny? Mitch Horny Levels Approved, I'd say that. Yeah, that was almost hornier than Baby Girl.

I'd say so. I'm trying to think back on what the hornyers were. Wait, now it's a flash year. How about this? Hear me out here. Yeah. There's that Zac Efron one with Nicole Kidman that's a little horny.

Sure. Do you think this would be helpful if you went to a movie theater and on the poster, it was a Mitch Horny level approved thumbs up with me on it? I think that would be helpful. So you know going into the movie that like, hey, this is going to be a good horny movie. And like if you're with your parents,

like maybe go see a different one. Yeah. And I think it should be on every movie poster. We got a big thumbs up for Trolls World Tour. Yeah. I feel like we just learned about all your kinks. Yeah. It's like, this rating system is weird.

It's hard to find a movie he doesn't give a thumbs up to. Whoa, big thumbs down for queer. Okay. We know what you're doing here. Thumbs up for queer. Thumbs up for all. All movies get a thumbs up. I'm looking through... Look, you can find the horniness in any movie you watch.

That's the deal. I'm looking through the horny... I'm looking through. Look, you can find the horniness in any movie you watch. That's the deal. I'm looking through the horny. I'm looking through last year. I mean, I do think Queer is super horny, and I loved Queer. Yep. A different man, decently horny. But you know what's horny is Challengers. That movie's horny as shit. That's so horny.

And that one was really good. Challengers rocks. Oh my god, Challengers was fun. And the music. Oh, yeah. I watched it with headphones. The music felt like it was like a mess vendor. No, seriously, I watched it with headphones, and I was it like standing up like at my computer and I was like,

I was like, I found myself just like, at like a rave, like not even meaning to be. Oh, was it Trent Reznor? Was it Trent Reznor did it? Yeah. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, right? That was a very horny movie. I liked that one a lot.

I saw that in the theater too. Is Atticus Ross the radio head guy? No, is he also a Nine Inch Nails guy? I don't know who Atticus Ross is exactly. I just No, is he also a Nine Inch Nails guy? I don't know who Atticus Ross is exactly. I just know he collabs with Trent Reznor on some great film score. And I know his film score made me horny.

Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo. Let's go back to flavors because that is the order of the day. Also horny. So what are some of your, and this is a question for both of you, what are some of your favorite flavors? We recently explored trying to figure out the flavor it.

Oh, the flavor, yes. And we landed on butter. We landed on butter, which is a very good flavor. I like butter. My first thought was barbecue sauce, which I love. Barbecue sauce is great. Barbecue sauce made a good run, but then it was, I think it was barbecue, right?

It depends on how much you like your sweet though. Cause like, for me barbecue sauce is so inherently sweet, and I don't have as much of a sweet to this in people, although I do like dessert. But do you like a sweet barbecue sauce? I love dessert. It's very molasses-y. I love dessert.

Yes. I like butter also is a winner, because it's just good on everything. I love butter. I love peanut butter. The peanut butter was mentioned in the flavor. I love peanut butter. I like vanilla and cinnamon.

I really like a chocolate flavor. I love vanilla. I love vanilla. I love peanut butter. I like vanilla and cinnamon. I really like a chocolate. I'm a chocolate flavor person. I love vanilla. I love vanilla. You just do a fist pump. I hope it was a fist pump. I did a fist pump. Do you have shirts that say vanilla is a flavor?

He did an air jack. Do you have merch that says vanilla is a flavor? I don't think we have any vanilla is a flavor merch, do we? Some merch that says that. Vanilla is a flavor. We do need a merch that says vanilla is a flavor. I think like a cream. They're just doing a one pump jack? I think a cream.

That's possible, by the way. Just a vanilla guy. A one pump jack is possible. If you're super horny right when you start. I'll give two thumbs up to a one pump jack. I'm designing some merch for you. So I'm sort of picturing like a nice cream base, like a nice canvas baseball hat

with in white writing vanilla as a flavor. That's pretty good. Just like a kind of chic, like, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna buy that shit, because that's his saying. You can't wear it. But are you more partial to chocolate? Yeah, I love chocolate.

I have to eat chocolate after every meal. What kind of chocolate, wait, first off, is that true? I pretty much have to eat chocolate after every meal. What kind of chocolate? Wait, first off, is that true? I pretty much have to eat chocolate after every meal. I feel a little weird if I don't get a little something. I don't drink coffee, and I kind of realize, like, I realize over and over again that I think the chocolate is kind of like the thing keeping me going.

That makes sense. But yeah, I like a little bite. Will you do chocolate ice cream? Is that? I will gladly do that. When on any movie set or any TV show, you need to hire Lauren to be grab service, because she's the best snack person. I'm good at snacks.

She's got the best snacks. Wow. She can go and navigate a grocery store like you've never seen. Thank you. She's the best snack purchaser I've ever seen. This is huge. I did not know this.

Incredible. Incredible snack. I can compile a really nice selection for everyone. And they're fun. And she's like loose with it. It's like, it's like Pitbull Wizard to like grab're fun. And she's like loose with it. It's like a pit-ball wizard to grab weird shit. And she'll give them a chance.

Yeah. Give me recent favorites? I have some recent misses. I feel like that weird popcorn I got wasn't good. No, but right now I'm into a dark chocolate almond. You like the Unreal bags. I like Unreal M&Ms. They're not M&Ms.

They're Unreal. Those are really good. and they're naturally dyed. And I like, but I also like to eat a salty. So I would like, I like to have like those, you know, those pretzel thins, those pretzel crisps, the ones that are salt and pepper. Those are the best ones. Those are actually maybe the only ones

that anyone should be eating and dip it in hummus. Wow, that's fun. Yeah. And then, you know, throw some fruit in there. I mean, you make a selection for every one of sweet and salty. That's the goal. Do you like a cobbler with a vanilla ice cream? No. I do like a cobbler.

Me too. Don't like a cobbler? I don't like fruit desserts. This couch likes a cobbler with a vanilla ice cream. You better be on my side or I'll kill you. Wait, do I like a cobbler? Yeah. I love a cobbler.

Fuck you. We'll get you a chocolate cake, Aaron. Oh, wait, am I supposed to say no? Yeah. No. I love a cobbler. Fuck you. We'll get you a chocolate cake, Aaron. Oh, wait, am I supposed to say no? Yeah. No, I fucking hate cobblers. Thank you. This couch hates cobblers. But I have a cobbler over here.

I love cobblers. I hate cobblers. How's that? What kind of gobbler? You're looking at a pair of shoes. A turkey gobbler. So in the Northeast, the gobbler sandwich is like your leftover turkey. That's a great sandwich.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not what I thought of. Stuffing, mayonnaise, cranberry sauce. Is that a, wait, the D'Angelo has a gobbler, right? It does, they put gravy on it, which is not, like if you're like a gobbler purist, I don't usually put potatoes or mashed potatoes or gravy on it, but you can.

The cranberry key. That's a lot, in the bread? To me, the pure, the purest version of it is turkey, like a roast turkey, stuffing, mayo, cranberry sauce. That to me is the, that's the best. I would put gravy in place of mayo. Praise be to thee. The mayo though works so well.

The mayo works so well. Bingo. Naturally dyed, they're naturally dyed M&Ms. Yeah, they're like dyed with like fruit extract or like beets or something. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's not, apparently it's not red 40 or whatever. Oh, I love red 40.

I don't know if this is an urban legend or not. Me too, I eat it all the time. Makes me all happy. Yeah. I don't know if this is an urban legend or not, but I remember reading that one of the natural red dyes, and part of the reason that artificial red dyes are so common is because one of the natural ones

is actually ground up beetles. I've heard that from makeup, from like lipstick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll find that the way we want. There's bugs in my makeup. And then they're all grossed out. But I think it's maybe okay. Yeah. Kind of cool.

Is that animal abuse? I don't know. Are bugs our- I mean, do beetles have souls? That's a great question, Wags. Wow. Wow. You know what?

By the end of the tournament, I think we will have an answer for her. Exactly. I have that feeling, because we went to the Hog Island Oyster Company up in SF and I love myself a plate of oysters, but I like, and we had this discussion so many times with the podcast, but like, is each oyster,

does an oyster have a soul? Because if so, I'm inhaling six souls when I have like my little plate of oysters. That's so demonic. It really is. That's a lot. And then you think of versus having, is that spiritually worse than having a burger, which is a portion of a cow that's feeding 60 people,

and that's one soul. No, a much bigger soul. You're supposed to tiny souls. So you say there's a hierarchy of souls based on someone's intelligence and emotional intelligence. I think it's OK to eat oysters. Well, I eat meat as well. But if we're talking about the harm that you're doing, it feels way worse to eat oysters. Well, I eat meat as well, but if we're talking about like the harm that you're doing,

it feels way worse to eat a cow. That I agree with. I thought you were vegan for a little bit. I was vegetarian for an entire year recently. And did you feel better? I did feel better, but I actually got fatter. What? Because I was-

That happens. Because I was eating more starch to compensate for the lack of fat and protein. Yeah. But I did overall eating more starch to compensate for the lack of fat and protein. That happens. Yeah. But I did overall feel better at my health check. I mean, any time I cut something that is not. The podcast is bad.

It's not helpful. The podcast is bad, yeah. Sure. Naturally died is how you can, that's how you'll describe Wags and I in a couple of years. Um, I, uh, Wags. I hope you have some frosted tips like, like, what's his name, Guy Fieri, just naturally

died with frosted tips. We haven't hit that. I'm sure we're going to have some midlife. It will be fun to see our midlife crisis stuff happen on this. Oh, that'd be fun. I don't think that like a little like a gold- I mean, hold on a second.

He got the tattoo. Oh, yeah. OK. I just saw this. Wow. Wait, we've got to talk about this, even though you've already talked about it. But what's the meaning behind this?

It's pretty straightforward. I'm Tiger now. Okay. Tiger Wiger! I guess it's a short, short explanation. He's Tiger Wiger. No, I like my name rhymes with tiger, I like tigers, and I was like, yeah, that'd be cool. That's awesome.

We'll see how I deal with it. Maybe I'll get like a, maybe I'll like a, get like height lengthening surgery. Oh, you get like those long shins. I wanna get taller. Yeah, get really long femurs. Yeah. Would how, would people like that if I was like 6'7"?

How tall are you? You're not short. I'm 6'3", but it would be funny to get it. You should get a Brazilian butt lift. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. I came in, and I just never talked about my heel. I have a huge ass.

Just a huge booty. Great ass. Like a real juicer. Like a real shelf. Like a real juicer, like a shelf, like a real juicer. A juicer is just a disgusting way to describe an ass, I feel like. In grosser ways. Yeah. Well, it's pretty gross.

It's pretty gross. Thank you. Can you picture juicing two big oranges? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. That's going to be, if you choose not to do the femur surgery, you could get a BBL. You could get both of them. Yeah.

Big ass right up in everyone's face. What is it to choose? Right at eye level. Yeah, you're right. You're successful, you can get both. Look, your femur is like, your ass is like. The ass is at most people's eye level. And I was like, what are you looking at?

My voice will go deeper because I'm taller. Exactly. And then you can explain, like if you bump into somebody at HeadGum, you can explain. You go like, my eyes are up here. They're right next to you. And then we rate them. I am being of service to the world. He's explaining the podcast while he's explaining his BBO.

We said we could go to chain restaurants and rate them. We're not asking about that. Why do you have that huge ass? And it's a podcast. People listen to it. And then he's like, just let me know if you want it. We said we were going to train restaurants to rate them. We're not asking about that. Why do you have that huge ass? It's a podcast. People listen to it. And he's like, let me know if you want it. And then he tries to run, but his fevers are too long.

And he's like, it's not quite balanced with the ass and the fevers. Do you tell? Here's a question on that topic. Do you generally speaking, do you tell strangers what you do? Like if you're in a situation. I try not to. I try not to either. I tell them I do design.

Oh, that's smart. Yeah, I say I do it. I'm an interior designer. Wow. We had this issue because we both had... I say I work in audio generally. We both had jury duty and they asked Weiger what he did and then I also explained it as a podcaster.

I did. I was honest because I was like, well, I guess I'm under oath. I won't just say generally I'm in production. I will say I'm a podcaster. I think at jury duty you have to tell the truth. But then the judge was like, I said, I was like, I'm a podcaster and the judge was like, I'm a podcaster. I'm a podcaster. I'm a podcaster. I'm a podcaster. I'm a podcaster. I'm under oath. I won't just say generally I'm in production. I will say I'm a podcaster. I think at Jury Doody, you have to tell the truth.

But then the judge was like, I said, I was like, I'm a podcaster. And the judge was like, you have a great voice for podcasting. And then it was like, yeah, he does. Yeah. That's a nightmare. Then you thought you were on Jury Doody, the show where everyone's punking you?

Yeah. I was like, oh my god, am I the star? The way you made that judge sound, sounds like he has a good voice for podcasting. I guess I kind of went into that voice while I was doing it, but that he didn't really. Like? I was in it. The way you made that judge sound, sounds like he has a good voice for podcasts. I guess I kind of went into that voice while I was doing it, but that he didn't really. Like, I don't know. I don't know why I did that.

Were you talking in a weird voice during jury duty? That is a huge possibility. I am a podcaster. I'm a podcaster. I know. I was talking to me. I was in England over the holidays, and I was like, I sort of split off from my friend.

And I took the, I went, I like, I was like, the train, there was like a repair, and so some man was like helping me find my way to this other station. So I just started trying to this guy, he's a vicar, which means he's like a priest, right? And then this guy, I was like, oh, then I'll do this. I was like, can I have a podcast? And like, literally, so I was almost criticized.

He's like, well, what are your numbers? I'm like, you're a vicar. And he was like, he's like, what are your numbers? And then he's like, what are your numbers? I was like, what are your plans? I was like, I'm doing vicar. And he was like, what are your numbers? And then he's like, what are your numbers? I was like, what are your plans? I was like, I'm doing fine. I'm like, do you hope it gets bought? I'm like, it is bought, it's on I Heart.

And I was just like, but it was just weird to even have like, even in the middle of like, an evening to have a priest. Fuck this conclave ass guy. What the fuck, right? I think he was nagging you. Is this a horny vicar? I kind of felt like a horny vicar.

Yeah, yeah. He was, he wasn't a, he was a horny vicar. Probably what was happening. Was he any vicar? It kind of felt like a horny vicar. Yeah. Yeah. He was. He wasn't a huge, he was a horny vicar. Probably what was happening. Was he a hot vicar? The whole thing was like, I got to get away from the vicar. Hey, the Mitch Hornyness level, you can put it outside a church. You can put it anywhere.

It could be on churches. It doesn't have to be on a Just Movie poster. I'm not going in that church. I wanted to hear someone's office. You were saying it. And then we have the vanilla over here. The vanilla shake. It's why you let us.

It's because I like it. That's right. Hey, if I get that league game plan, it'll be the perfect height where he was doing it. Whoa. No. Jack me off. Anyways.

Who's going to? Wags, wags, wags, wags. Who's going to? Wags. Yeah, he's right there. Whatever. Put it behind the paywall. Let's talk to. Wags, wags, wags, wags. He's going to? Yeah. Yeah, he's right there. Whatever. Put it behind the paywall.

OK. Let's talk chicken. Yes. Because we got two orders of business today. Specifically this matchup, we're talking chicken versus sandwiches. So I want to start generally in terms of chicken. Where is it among your favorite proteins and what's your favorite chicken preparation? OK, I don't know how to cook.

So am I preparing it? No, no, no, just like you're getting it. I don't want to prepare either. I didn't notice a lot of thuds that were happening over there. OK. There was an exit. And I don't know what it means, but we'll find out.

Oh, yeah. Wait, I realized I think someone who's going to come on the show has an out. So we'll get to that in a second. OK. Lauren, you go first. I do eat a lot of chicken. I would say it's one of my top meats and top proteins.

Okay. And I like it, I like a grilled chicken breast and a salad. I like it kind of like shredded into a salad as well. I also eat it, you know, if I'm having a night out, I might have a fettuccine Alfredo with some chicken in there. Sure. But it's usually, I guess, grilled breast style.

If it's like, if I'm getting like a plump, you know, chicken from like the store, the skin is the best part. Yeah. Are we just texting someone, or what's the? I'm listening to you, and I was texting. I was texting about this situation. He was trying to text the server. He's like, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm from to you and I was texting about this situation. He was trying to text the server. He's like, I'm sorry, I can't answer you fast.

I'm from Boston too. He says Boston, I am not technically from Boston. I'm from the city, I'm from Revere. Well, but I'm from Boston. I was listening to you and I agree with you. Lauren Locus is boring me about chicken skin right now. I love the chicken skin, I'm with you. Chicken skin's amazing.

I sometimes like a fried chicken, I don't go towards that. The grill is where I'm at, I think pretty much across the board. I also like a nugget. Go ahead. I also like chicken, I like a nug, but I really, my favorite chicken is chicken mole tacos

from Guisados, shout out to Guisados, Echo Parks, Sunset's my favorite, but I like them tacos from Guisados, shout out to Guisados, Echo Parks, Sunset's my favorite, but I like them in a taco. I like like a fajita, I like a Mexican, I like an enchilada, I like a Mexican flavor preparation. Yeah, a lot of fun. It's probably the protein I eat the most, but it's not my, like it's not my favorite.

Well, I guess that's true. I guess my favorite is like steak. Steak is more fun. Yeah, obviously. But I don't eat it very often. No joy. And pork, well, I guess that's true. I guess my favorite is steak. Steak is more fun. Yeah. Obviously. But I don't eat it very often. No joy. And pork, well, I guess, I don't know. I think I go chicken over pork.

I think my favorite is chicken. Again, going back to when I wasn't eating meat, that was when I missed the most. We've also talked about this. I also, fried chicken is my favorite food. So that's the best part. But do you like Impossible meat? Fried chicken is delicious.

Because I like Beyond burgers a lot. Yeah, those get the job done. Would you call that, if we're talking about meat, that's not even part of it? You wouldn't say a Beyond burger? Because I think I almost like that more than a regular burger at this point. I Would you call that, like, if we're talking about meat, that's not even part of it? Like, you wouldn't say a Beyond Burger? Because I think I almost like that more than a regular burger at this point. I mean, for me, like, they're pretty close.

If I wasn't an actress, like, who at the, when I started, there was only one size to be. So now this is the size. Like, if I could sort of just eat whatever the fuck I wanted, I would eat Kentucky Fried Chicken night and day. Wow. Love it.

Love a fried chicken, love a bucket of chicken, I love a biscuit, I like it. But unfortunately that wasn't really the option when like. Sure. Yeah. I just think this, that it can, like, the protein of chicken can range from, like you can get gnarly chicken.

Like more likely you get gnarly chicken than you get. I don't want a gnarly chicken. Like more likely you get gnarly chicken than you get. I don't want a gnarly chicken. I hate when you have a piece of chicken that's like- I don't want a gnarly chicken. Yeah. Yeah, it's the one you'll see cheaped out the most on, partly because it can be produced so cheaply. So like, yeah, like a chicken from like an airport Caesar

salad is like the worst- It's a bummer. It's disgusting. Go for a nugget. A nugget, nothing wrong with that at all. I was gonna say this, cheerio, you know, they say it in, but there's also the cereal cheerios. So is that, is there ever a who's on first situation

in London, you know what I'm saying? Cheerio, oh, you hungry for breakfast? I know I'm saying cheerio. I know I'm saying the vicar that nagged me. The vicar. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Do you think that this is, whatever.

I do think that comes up a lot. Yeah, I think it happens quite a bit. Okay, all right, thank you. Thank you. Let's talk sandwiches, whatever. I do think that comes up a lot. Yeah, I think it happens quite a bit. Okay, all right, thank you. Thank you. Let's talk sandwiches. Okay. This is so exciting. Do you like a sandwich?

I love a sandwich. What type of fucking question is that? It's a fair question. I love sandwiches. Lauren loves sandwiches. Let's talk sandwiches, do you like a sandwich? Lauren loves sandwiches. I do love sandwiches, but I feel like you're putting it

on me, which makes me think you don't like sandwiches. Well, again, I'm shorter than you. You're not as crazy about them. It's literally like-'t like that. Well, again, I'm shorter than you. You're not as crazy about him. It's literally like. You're short. Wait, what? I'm shorter than Lauren. If I was 5 foot 10, if I could, again, from when I started,

I'm like, I've already. Like, I come from short-puffing people. I come from the cookie ass. You know, I come from cookie hammer. You're going to get that height-slengthening surgery with you. I'm not going to get my fever. You and I are going gonna go like that.

No, I love a sandwich. You know the best sandwich in LA, possibly from my experience, best turkey sandwich that I have had. And also if anyone has other ideas, I'd love to hear them. From Cookbook, the little like small niche grocery, it's like expensive little grocery store.

They have a turkey sandwich they make daily there that is bomb, yes. You know what's a great one? I like Potato Chip Deli's turkey sandwich. What's that? Potato Chip Deli, I've never heard of that. Potato Chip Deli is near, there's a couple of them.

I love the name, do they have t-shirts? You guys will know this location, CBS Television City. I've been there. Oh, it's my favorite, it's my favorite city. It's my favorite area. It goes, CBSan City, Paris.

Yeah. The KTLA Eiffel Tower. The KTLA Eiffel Tower. I feel, I love a sandwich. I love jamming like Doritos and like chips into a sandwich. You know what I mean? Like I got my lunch. I love the Jimmy Jans where you put the chips in your mouth at the same time.

Yeah, I mean I love a sandwich. I love a sandwich. I actually- I love a sandwich. I love a sandwich. I like a sub. I love a D'Angelo. Whoa, look what he has. Amelia got me the, because for the match up, today's match up, I usually get these with my order from one of the spots.

Mitch is holding up a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I love Cool Ranch Doritos. Those are the best. What was the flavor you guys tried on Instagram that was like not as good? Oh, when we were on the Waymo? Yeah. How was the flavor you guys tried on Instagram that was not as good? Oh, when we were on the Waymo? Yeah. How was Waymo?

I love Waymo. Jimmy just gave me a raspberry on my leg. Waymo is the only tech thing I've liked in the past 10 years. Did you do it here? Everybody does it in San Francisco. Well, you love a silent car ride. I do.

I love a silent car ride. But there's also something of just like, oh, this car is stopping at every stop sign. It feels like a better driver than a person. There's also something of just like, oh, this car is stopping at every stop sign. You know what I mean? It feels like a better driver than a person. It feels like, you know, by the book safe. And maybe that'll, you know, maybe that'll stand off as this thing becomes more common.

But right now it's like, it's driving by the absolute letter of the law. We gotta use it right, we gotta try it way more. We have to try it, but isn't it only in certain parts of town? It is, yeah. Yeah. So I have to have a reason to go from one part of Beverly Hills to like, Marchmont or something.

Well, it took you to the Tiki Theater, right? That's right, yeah, it dropped me off at the door. Actually dropped me off around the corner. Did you feel weird getting out? Like, bye. Yeah. Thanks for the ride. Good luck with your alimony issues. It's a, you know, it's a, I would say it's, it's,

there's going to be a version of it that's janky, but right now it's like they're trying to roll out the primo experience. Do you think it'll take over like people driving? Like it'll just be like, in like, like all of us, like with our own cars, do you think it'll be like, well, we're all going to have self-driving cars that you can drive or you can let it drive you?

I think it will reach a certain point, yes, where people will get used to having autonomous, being in autonomous vehicles, and then they'll be like, why do I have to drive this fucking thing? I think you'll have a home base. yes, where people will get used to having autonomous, being in autonomous vehicles, and then they'll be like, why do I have to drive this fucking thing? I think you'll have a home base. Because we all just want to text anyway. Yeah, it's probably better for everyone.

And you sink to your home base. What do you think of this? This just sounds like future shit I'm saying. I mean, it's all words that already exist. I honestly feel like it's about to happen. Yeah. But sinks, your car is sinking to its home base. Sinking to my home base.

Sinking in process. Like, S-Y-S-Y-S. I was picturing it sinking in the river. Yeah, I got you. The car is now synced to your home base. I thought it was sinking. Your sneakers are cute, Lauren. Thanks.

Those are cute. Real cute. Little converse with the cherries on them. When did you get those? Converse with the flair. Yeah, a couple months ago. Very cute. Why don't you see my thumbs up outside the Tiki Theater?

The Tiki Theater is where, hmm, well, versus Soul. Fred Willard went to the porno movie. Oh, yes. That's the Tiki. That's where he got dropped off. That's where he got dropped off. Yes, yes, yes. You wanted to tell me why.

I want to tell you why he was called the Tiki Theater. I wanted to get a big enough reaction. I needed you to know that it was a jack-off theater. I like that. It was this. So he went for the one-time vanilla shake. Yeah. It's Munch Madness 2025, the tournament

of Tournament of Champions of Champions, round one. And T-Theater's going to get those AMC recliners in there. That's what they need. That's what I think. Oh, yeah. I think it's fine to jerk off at a porno theater. That's what it's there for. I'm not saying this on camera.

That's what it's there for. That's what it's there for. We agree. That is what it's there for. I mean, I'm not shocked by it. I genuinely don't think Fred Willard did anything wrong at all. No. And how cute that he was at a theater.

Amelia's snapping for me. How cute that he was at a theater. He's supporting live theater. Yeah, he's a theater lover. He's a patron. Support theory. Before we go any further with the tournament, it's time to introduce him, the commissioner of the Tournament of Champions, Evan Susser.

Wow. Wow. Looking real sharp. Looking real sharp. Wow. I didn't know there was a dress code. Jemmy's in my seat. Jemmy, Jemmy, you gotta go.

Jemmy, you gotta move for us to make room for Susser. Sorry. Jemmy, we're sorry to. She feels so soft. She's so comfortable. Jemmy, sorry. What? Jimmy Jimmy you gotta go you gotta move for us to make her every faster. Sorry Jimmy. We're sorry to feel so soft She's so comfortable Jimmy sorry

Susser you're wearing a suit and tie as always Looking looking great Looking real sharp. You joined us on Tuesday for our Selection Tuesday tournament. He just kind of took those compliments like a given. He's like you at that place where the waitress asked you to be from Boston. Yeah. You joined us for our preview as Emma gets your mic set there.

Thank you. But this is the chain event. And thank you for the compliment. We're getting down to brass tacks. We're getting to business here. I'm really excited about the rules. All right. Hello? Hello. I'm really excited about the rules. All right. Hello.

Hello. I'm going to make a brief statement. Can I just, can I, can I quickly point out that, can I quickly point out that hello is written down on this paper? Oh my god. I'm going to make a brief statement after which I'll open the floor to questions.

Wow. Wow. Welcome to the Tournament of Tournament of Champions of Champions. That really does have a strobe effect on my brain. It is my extreme honor to serve as lifetime commissioner of the tournament. Wow.

Here are the rules. Starting into a lifetime commissioner. 10 years. Yeah. Here are the rules of the 2025 tournament. Okay. Rule number one, there are no rules. Wow.

That's what we're talking about. Wow, no rules. That makes me feel so free. That's right. I could finally be free. Just like Outback Steakhouse this year, it's no rules, talking about. Wow, no rules. That makes me feel so free. That's right. Just like our backstake house this year, it's no rules, just right. Wow. Rule number two, there actually are some rules.

Lauren, Lauren. No rules, just right? Lauren wrote that. Yeah, I don't know if that really rolls off the tongue, but OK, no rules, just right. Oh, there are some rules. OK. Rule number three, everyone is here.

Every winner of every tournament of champions is represented in this tournament. Wow. Everyone is here. Wow, you got to say it. Rule four. You gotta dance... Guess what?

He made me put it in today. He said, make sure it's in there. And people get it. Rule four. You gotta dance with the one who brought you. If a restaurant has multiple categories of food on its menu, only the category it qualified for is eligible. I think you put your arm around him to comfort him.

Well, that too. He's doing great. And this is... As a way of an example. I don't know if this is getting picked up on camera. Jemi is just wandering around aimlessly, unsure of what to do with herself. I know the feeling.

I used to have a place to lay my head. I don't know where I am right now. Rule five. Wait, so that fours, are you going to dance with the one that got you here? You have to. It's like if it's like a pizza restaurant, and they had pizza.

It was a pizza tournament. If we're told this chicken is chicken, I can't have the frosting. Wendy's was so. Again, the questions are supposed to be at the end. Got it. OK, save it. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's fine. Got it. Okay, save it. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's fine. Rule five, one on fun. What you see, one on fun. One on fun. One on fun. Every matchup will be one on one matchup with each guest getting to pick one item from the competing chains we'll talk about today later. Okay. Oh, because I went off-roading like a maniac.

Rule six. Okay, what'd you do? I learned too many things. Sauce is at a loss. Sauce is at a loss. You can use sauce, but you can't evaluate sauce in your review. Okay.

Meaning like, not the sauce is, okay, awesome. Okay, questions. I think additional sauce. Additional. What should you write at the end, remember? He was pissed. I know, we, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think additional sauce. Additional. But I can't say. What should you write the end, remember? He was pissed. I know, and we're just expanding upon it.

Okay, okay, okay. Rule seven. There's so many ink thumbprints on the paper. Maybe that's just, that's sauce, it's sauce. Write this in longhand? Rule seven. The hand is going. The dais is denied.

Oh. That's right. Wow. The dais opinions on the competing chains is not to be considered during the tournament. No exceptions. What a fuck you to our essential workers. If this rule is violated,

I reserve the right to eject members of the deus. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. This is crazy because I wasn't listening and I don't know what it means. The deus is for- Again, wait, again. They can't, they can't.

Okay, okay, okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. The deus is everyone sitting over at the producer's desk. KCM and Amelia. Oh, shit. Rule eight, tie goes to the runner. If there is a tie, guests can agree to do a foot race around head gum to decide which side wins. That's insane.

Or they can opt for the deus ex machina, which would be letting the deus decide. this would then cancel out rule seven Okay I'm gonna be racing Who would who okay questions at the end? Nine are you fleet of foot? Yeah, no, I don't know. Yeah, I just got longer legs. I just want to do it I got the will to win. No, I want to do it. Yeah, I can see either of you being exceptional runners Yeah, I just wanna do it. I just wanna do it, I just wanna do it. I got the will to win. No, I wanna do it, yeah. I can see either of you being exceptional runners. Yeah, I'm not.

What the fuck is going on? I don't know. Also, are you fleet of foot? Yeah. Rule nine. I'm fleet of foot. Hate, I'm pretty fleet of foot. Rule, this one's important. Okay, sorry.

Shut up Aesop, let him talk, you fucking freak. Aesop. Rule nine. Hate has no plate here. Chick-fil-A is officially banned from the tournament. Wow. Yes, it didn't qualify, but even so, I'm making a statement that it's banned.

Wow. Very brave. I've never had chicken. Very, very brave. The problem is, it does taste good. It's really good. I thought it was delicious. Well, it's extremely good.

But it's not, it wasn't in the tournament to begin with, but it's also banned. It's banned by me, the commissioner. Good. A good man. Fuck Chick-fil-A. Fuck you, Chick-fil-A. Rule 10.

And it's good that we're doing this. The commission has fun socks. It's important that this is included. Hot dogs. Hot dogs are cute. That's the last. That was OK. Rule 10.

And what are the hot dogs saying? Rule 10. They seem to be saying something. That's nice that you. That was okay. Okay. Rule 10. And what are the hot dogs saying? Rule 10. They seem to be saying something. That's nice that you wore your wedding socks today. Rule 10. Rule 10. Are they holding broken pencils? I think they're American flags.

Okay. They're patriotic. He loves America. I got them after the election. Rule 10. I'll have what he's having. In each round, the commissioner reserves the right to have one of the hosts exact meal. Today I exercised that right.

I had wider's meal, it was great. Wow. Okay, now question. Wow. Okay. First off, thank you so much for doing that. Thank you, sis. Thank you, sis.

Yeah, so for clarity, the sauces, so say, for example, I know that Mitch had a sandwich that had a lot of blue cheese sauce on it. But that was part of the sandwich versus like I had Wendy's with dipping sauce. It's the only thing that's disqualified is the dipping sauce, not the sandwich sauce. Is that correct?

That's right. And also you can't get into saying the sauce was good or the sauce was bad. I see. That can't be part of it. So even on the Wendy's, I can't say into saying the sauce was good or the sauce was bad. I see. That can't be part of it. Even on the Wendy's, I can't say the mayo was good. It was on your sandwich. I think it was in the sandwich.

I'm talking about it. If it's on the sandwich, it's a pork component. If it's on the sandwich, it's okay. Okay, okay. But if you're dipping. If you're dipping afterwards, you can dip. If it's a dip. But you can't be, you can't say,

oh, they had good ketchup or bad ketchup. You're not swayed by the dip. Yeah. Our buddy Matt Selman. Anything and nothing were good because the sauce was good. Right. Yeah. Our buddy Matt Selman, Anything and nuggets were good because the sauce was good. Right. Our buddy Matt Selman, the Thai father,

was texting us about, like, he likes to dip his McDonald's burgers in sweet and sour. In sweet and sour, yes. Which I never thought to do. I mean, that sounds so good. It does sound good. It sounds so good. But that's not allowed here.

Not allowed. It's a Roger Rabbit. You can do it, you can do it. We can't sway you. But you can't say that's why it was good. Yeah. Can I tell you? Roger Rabbit rule, no talk of the dip, Wags. That's the rule. Sincerely? Yeah. That's really good. Thank you't say that's why it was good. Yeah. Can I tell you? Roger Rabbit rule, no talk of the dipwags.

That's the rule. Sincerely, what's? That's really good. Thank you. Yeah, that actually is really good. I want to thank Lauren. And I'm going to now leave my house and my will to you for this.

Whoa, thanks. I really am not. I'll totally talk about this. This appeal, I love games. I like to know the rules of the game. I love flavors. I love doing Doughboys. The fact that you're here.

This is everything I want to do on a Wednesday afternoon. Yes. Yes. Yes. Perfect. This is full circle. But I'm going to, this is it for me. No, I, I, you don't have to leave me anything.

And I just love our friendship. Yeah, great. Thank you. Well, so coming into this, and if I can be a little vulnerable as commissioner, some people think that the rules get a little tedious. No, I appreciate it. I love the rules. I think they're essential. I can't a little vulnerable as commissioner. Some people think that the rules get a little tedious. No, I appreciate it. I love the rules.

I can't wait to race Lauren. I'm going to race you. All right, so that was one of my questions. That was a tie. Yeah, we're going to race whether this is a tie or not. Can we rename the rule the Roger Rabbit rule for the dip, please? Maybe the Judge Doom rule?

The Judge Doom rule? Yes. OK, great. Make note of that before you forget. The race. I need the leaky pen. Will it bother you all? And you can continue the flow if I run to the ladies' room

because I have the bladder of a four-year-old. Yes, of course. Or a 14-year-old. 14-year-old girl. You want to take a break? Will you just pause for a second? Let's pause for one second. Ready to optimize your nutrition this year, Mitch?

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I thought that was banging, as the kids said years ago. Wow. Wags and all I like, the queso fundito and ground beef. I thought that was banging as the kids said wow Why is it all I like the queso fundito and ground beef give me that Wow I say give me that now and factor makes it easy to stick to your goals whatever they may be Eat smart with factor get started at factor meals comm slash factor podcast and use code factor podcast to get 50% off your first Box plus free shipping that's code factor podcast at factor meals.com slash factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Wow. Factor ad complete shutdown initiating. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV.

Wags. You know what I do every night? What's that? I get my thermos. I open it up. I pour in a pack of strawberry liquid. Wigs, you know what I do every night? What's that? I get my thermos, I open it up, I pour in a pack of strawberry liquid IV, I pour some water in there, I mix it up,

I down it before I go to bed. This is like a new nightly ritual you've set up. It's a new nightly ritual, it is. Well, whatever. You know what else I do? I give Wally and Erma a little kiss. Aw, that's adorable. Well, hey, whatever you do,

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Let me just say this. I also did. It was the two of us. I didn't get caught up, and Jemmy sadly got into your guy's spots, because Susser has taken her spot. But now Jemmy looks pretty sad again. She looks really sad again. She's so cute.

Yeah. I just want to say I'm having a lot of fun. Oh my god. Mr. Jemmy is great. Mr. Jemmy would be so cute. I'm really having an easy time. Yeah, I'm having a blast. Can we get some sort of suit for Jemmy?

I was gonna see if I could find a tux for her. Or a bow tie. Cute. What about like a wig? That would be very cute. I like wigs on animals. That'd be really funny. I feel like Jemmy wouldn't tolerate a wig.

I've seen little dogs dress up like Dolly Parton with Dolly Parton wigs which are really cute. Hey, that gets a Mitch thumbs up of approval. Oh no. Jesus. What? What? What? You mean Dolly Parton or the animals in Dolly Parton wigs

get the thumbs up? The animal, the animal. In your head, Susser, the foot race, what are you envisioning? Are you thinking, and you said guess, so Mitch and I are not eligible? Here's how I think the foot race should work. Yeah.

Whoever feels the strongest for their side could be the representative of it. And then I think it's a race within Head Gum. Oh, I thought it was outside the exterior. I think it's better if it's in here because there's a lot of furniture. It's awkward. Yeah, it's like the hunks are getting annoyed.

Wayne Brady, you're breaking up a song of his. That's fun. Who's just here to hang out with. Yeah, he's just. Who's just here for the Hangout with. Yeah, he's just here. He's not on the podcast. Yeah, that's great. I think at this point it's out. OK.

OK. We were allowed to say that. I think it dropped today. We weren't allowed to say that he was doing a podcast, but we could say he's here. OK, great. I like the hunks. The hunks.

He just likes to hang out here. But it dropped today, so. It dropped today. The Wayne and Buddy podcast, the reason he was here so much is that he has a podcast. And he likes the hunks. Maybe you give us some race music, Wags. What do you think?

What's that? Maybe you give us some as we run around the. And I want to race regardless. Oh, you sure? Yeah. I will, I'll run around. I'll run around. I'll run around just a little.

We got to do a race by the end. I need to race. We're going to race. But no, I think only if something ties. Only if something ties, and you're saying is the people who feel the strongest. So this is just going to be a race between me and Mitch, because that's what's gonna happen.

No, no, okay. I honestly wanna watch that too. We wanna race. Okay. But I think we could try, yeah. Yeah, obviously. We probably need a rule of 11 if one of the hosts has a heart attack.

Yes. Yes, yep, yep. Do not resuscitate. Donut resuscitate. Oh, that's good. Donut resuscitate. Don't? Oh, that's good. Donut resuscitate. That's really good. You put a donut on your face to resuscitate you.

I didn't know there was much concierge. I'm awake. Yeah, should you have a question? Do you like jelly donuts? I love jelly donuts. Me too. I would never eat that forever. That question is also with the commissioner.

Yeah. Uh, yes, I do. OK. I do too. You gotta ask. You gotta ask this end of the culture, do we like jelly donuts? It's also with the commissioner. Yeah. Yes, I do. OK. I do. You got to ask this end of the culture, we like jelly donuts? You know I do too.

You're anti-jelly donut. I don't want that. We have a different sweet profile. We don't want fruit and a dessert. But I don't really want goo in a dessert. We have a different dessert profile. Jelly is a goo. I don't really want goo in a dessert.

Oh, you don't want goo. Yeah, yeah. We're the vanilla. Jelly is a goo. Jelly is a goo. I know that's the problem. Yeah, yeah. And so that goo. You want a jelly donut?

I do want a jelly donut. OK, great. That goo roll expands to something like a Boston cream donut, which has even those not fruit bits. She's a chocolate girl. I have a memory of going to Dunkin' Donuts when I was a kid. And I accidentally ate a Boston cream donut.

And I remember thinking, oh, no, and then that's suddenly forever. I like that. I like that. I just want to point out that Weiger and I did a Wayne Brady song for the race, and no one paid any attention to us. It was very great, actually. We were just singing a song, and no one was paying attention.

I didn't hear that at all. I was lost in the donut. We were just talking, I guess. It's chaos in here. Yeah. I really couldn't hear it. I had a rule that was double trouble. Double the guests all month long,

Wiges, until it doesn't work out. That is my rule. What's going to cause it to not work out? I think you mean until it's impossible to schedule. Yes. Not like the guests fight each other so much that it falls apart. Or it's too chaotic having them both on.

I mean, that'd be good for the pod if the guests got in a fight. Yeah. That's good. You need to get some people who have problems with each other so much that it falls apart. Or it's too chaotic having them both on. I mean, that'd be good for the pod if the guests got in a fight. Yeah. That's good. If you guys want to do that. You need to get some people who have problems with each other and put them on the same team. That's true, yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I'm not gonna name anybody. I was just thinking, I'm just thinking, I'm bright-storming. I just thought of earlier, I was just thinking of earlier. Yeah, I'm also thinking of earlier. I was just thinking of earlier. All right, moving on. Yeah, I'm also thinking of earlier. I was thinking of earlier. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. All right, moving on. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. OK. And is there anything else you'd like to add? This is a last year's, yeah, last year's tournament of champions, our Taco Bell tournament, Doki Ero Taco Bell was fraught with controversy,

with chaos, you were temporarily deposed, and then by the end reinstated. Yep. I'm hoping this year goes a little bit smoother. Well, it's a good question. Yeah. And let's just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve and a few plans to make sure that things stay in line this year.

Wow, okay. And that's all I'm gonna say about that at the moment. Okay, things stay in line this year. Wow. And that's all I'm going to say about that at the moment. OK, daddy. He's imposing order. OK. OK. He's done something wrong. That's my horny seal of approval for what you said.

Yeah. Uh-huh. OK. OK, baby girl. All right, well, have a great tournament, guys. Thank you. It's a pleasure, as always. I feel honored to be in the first round.

Thank you, commissioner. Play him off with his tune. Thank you, commissioner. Yeah, this is the first round? This is the first round, girl. Oh, heavy, heavy, heavy. That's exciting. We are honored to be the first round. I'm very honored.

Come back. Come back. Come on. Bye, Sus. Bye, Sus. He was also the guy who fumbled his way out the door, obviously. Now it's clear that was Sus trying

to get out the door there. Oh, that sweet little dog. Who do you think are the big comedy rivals? You got Spy versus Spy. Who else? Yeah, Spy versus Spy. Leno Letterman. Leno Letterman.

Oh, Ronan also is kind of a part of all of that, right? Oh, yeah, Conan and Letterman versus Leno. Wow. Conan and Lolo. Conan and Lolo. Man, Leno and Letterman. I remember once George Lopez got accused of stealing from like who?

Didn't somebody accuse him? Or George Lopez, I thought, accused someone. Oh, right, you're right. I forget what it is. I forgot who, but I feel like there was like a back in the day, there was like a feud. Yeah, there was the famous. There's the Dane, Cook, Louie.

Oh man, we have Dane, Cook, and Louie on. That would be a big episode. That'd be a great episode. That'd be a great episode. That'd be a great episode. I feel like it was as Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan had a thing. That was an early Joe Rogan going by. That would be a good episode too. I think we should really work on this.

We should get them both on there and make them race around that com. They'd be so into that. We'll figure that out. They'd love to do that. Definitely do that. This is round one of the Tournament of Tournament of Champions of champions.

Match one, the named for an individual other than the founder, AKA the person region, Jersey Mike's versus Wendy's. Good call. Wendy's enters via its victory in our chicken tournament, much mad as 2017 chicken fight. Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich was given to the devil and it was so tasty it turned him into an angel.

Note, this wasn't a pre-Pop Eyes chicken sandwich world. So history might have gone differently, but that's not how it worked out. Chick-fil-A also not in that tournament, but it doesn't matter. Fuck Chick-fil-A. I think it wasn't that tournament, wasn't it? Oh, good.

Well, fuck you, Chick-fil-A. You lost. That's right, dog. I like Chick-fil-A. All right. But it's banned, and it's good that we banned it. Oh, god. Also, we're heroes. Trying to help. Jersey Mike's enters via winning our sandwich tournament,

Munch Maddest 2022, Hero's Journey suboptimal. It was the hoagie for roagie, hey, speaking of Joe Rogan, a sandwich so good it either changed Joe Rogan's mind about vaccines or emboldened his anti-vax stand, and we know how that shook out. Both chains- The Doughboys have come around to his stance

on vaccines anyways, since those years, so. Both chains are members of the hallowed halls of the Golden Plate Club. Uh-oh. Twice. Joe Rogan's out. Twice in one episode. Joe Rogan.

Heard you talking about him. Rogan's at my place. This is actually one my house is getting breaking in two. How do you feel now? Wow. You better go attend to that. Yeah, you don't seem worried. You're just like smug. Look.

I knew it was gonna happen. Guess what, bitch? My house is getting broken in two. The fact that it happened twice in a day as well. Well. It happened twice in a day? This is the reason why. There is a person in my piece that he should not be there.

There's a guy in my. It's a delivery guy. But also, he's in a weird spot, he should not be there. There's a guy in my, it's a delivery guy. But also he's in a weird spot that he should be in. Get him out of there. He got eyes on that guy. Okay. That's why you have cameras, it's good. It's good to have, my house got,

my place got broken into. No, no, that is jarring. Did I sound like a Karen, he shouldn't be there? It is a weird place to be, that's all I'm saying. He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be there. That's, there's two, there That's all I'm saying. He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be there. He shouldn't be there. That's, there's two, there's a front door one, which I will turn off.

Yes. The other one is in a- Don't give any information. Yeah, I shouldn't give any more information. We don't need to explain- Don't say you're gonna turn it off. There's just gonna be opinionated about this. And they're gonna be like-

No, no, no, listen, listen, listen. Every camera's gonna stay on. Yes. You're gonna have alerts telling you whenever anyone walks by. And that's fine. Thank you. Agree to agree? Thank you, Lapis.

And you're never gonna turn your cameras off, so anyone out there who's getting some ideas, they're gonna walks by, and that's fine. Thank you. Agree to agree? Thank you, Lapis. And you're never going to turn your cameras off. So anyone out there who's getting some ideas, there's going to be a camera on. Yeah, don't be getting ideas. We're just going to be tagging along. And there's going to be an alarm that goes absolutely crazy and calls the cops the second anyone opens the door, breaks a window.

Thank you. Don't even try it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What if your alarm went off and someone was pulling a caper? There was like a team of guys, and they all had their own specificity.

Like they were all kind of doing their own tasks. What are they trying to get at in my place? I don't know. I don't know, you tell us. That could be pretty cool. That would be cool as hell. It's like a heist going on. When we're not recording, we know somebody.

I know somebody that had like saw through cameras a team of guys. Whoa. That's crazy. That's wild. I'll tell you after. Must've been somebody rich. Wow.

OK. It was like a caper. It was a caper, basically? It wasn't a caper, but it was like a whole, they saw like six or seven guys. Oh my god. That is a caper. That's a caper.

That's a caper. If you're looking at security cameras, you're only going to see an actual caper. That's right. The food. He has one caper. That's right. You know, the food. Uh-huh. He has one caper in his house. That's his fridge. I will say, these are two of my all-time chain restaurant go-tos,

what I picked for this particular matchup. I picked the winning Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich. And the rule we applied using Susser's logic is that any chicken from Wendy's was up for grabs. Because of the way the rule is set up, any Wendy's chicken and any Jersey Mike sandwich, those were the categories that they won. Wendy's won the chicken tournament,

Jersey Mike's won the sandwich tournament, anything for there. So if you thought you could order a Jersey Mike's brownie today, no, no, no, no. Yeah, the chips weren't on the table. No, no, no, no, no. Although I wish they did. I know they're very good.

Sides were on the sidelines, drinks were on the stink. The thing, so I got the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich, which won, and I also got the Jersey Mike's number seven, which is their turkey and provolone. I got that on wheat Mike's way, which is onions, lettuce, tomatoes, olive oil blend, red wine, vinegar, and spices. Do you know what the spices are, Mitch? I looked this up.

It's just oregano and salt. That's all it is. No, that's kind of, you know, whatever. I mean, they're good. It gets the job done. I also added mayo and added jalapenos. There's no pepper on there? They don't toss any pepper?

It's apparently just oregano and salt as per people who've worked for Jersey Mike's. Oh. Yeah. Turkey sub, one of their most popular sandwiches. And I think that's the case for the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. In fact, Headgum CEO, Marty, like saw we had Wendy's

and said, like, ooh, what's your Wendy's go-to? And I mentioned, like, I don't know, sometimes get a Dave's double, but oftentimes get the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. I think you could classify as a Head Gum hunk. Yes, and I said the Wendy's, the Yalfa hunk, if you will. I said the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich, and he goes, that's my go-to.

Yeah, right. Baked potato with nothing on it and a side salad is fucking the hunk's go-to. He's not getting- That's all starch. You gotta have some protein. Yeah, are you serious? What with nothing on it in a side salad is fucking the hunks go to. He's not getting it. That's all starch. You got to have some protein. Yeah, are you serious? What do you know about hunks?

He's a pro-goat. Oh, what do I know about hunks? I'm just saying, you're talking about a meal that's like, it doesn't have any protein in it. He's a pro-goat. He's the greatest of all time, pro-tooth champion. He's a pro-goat, scrote-coat. He's a pro-goat, scrote-coat.

Scrote-coat. He's a pro-goat, scrote-coat, scrote-coat. Scrote-coat's my favorite tea. People think I'm insane. He's a pro-goat. I'm like, that's my throat goat. Throat goat. He's a throat goat. Throat goat. Throat goat. Throat goat's my favorite tea. People think I'm insane. He's a throat goat. I'm like, that's my favorite flavor. Throat goat. Throat goat.

Throat goat. Throat goat. He's the throat goat. Throat goat. Throat goat. If you drank throat goat just regularly, would you sound like Wigris Judge or something? Like, would you fuss your throat?

Gives you that nice sweet coating. I would be a completely different person. Hi guys. Hi, my name's Audemarine. On this growth throat ghost. Sound like Mel Torme, the velvet fog. Thank you. Yeah, nice.

You know Mel Torme? Who's that? A great old crooner. Oh. They used his music in the film, the one that Quentin Tarantino made where they're in Hollywood. What's Upon a Time in Hollywood.

I love that, that's one of my favorites. I guess I did. It's a great song, this great soundtrack. Also, what a crystal clear description of that movie. So you know, the Quentin Tarantino movie in Hollywood. Oh yeah, I know what you're talking about. You guys got it. It's worth the point.

And everyone, and it was like, I know exactly what you're talking about. You guys got it. It's worth to the point. And everyone, and I was like, the way it was the most, nobody interrupted anyone. You let me just like fumble to find. I didn't think anyone was gonna listen to me. I thought somebody was just like kind of talking. I literally was like watching. And everyone's like, what?

I love you so much. I literally was here going, my friend's in trouble. My friend's in trouble. My eyes went black and I was like. I saw it. I was like, where is it? It's true. I only talk when people are talking. I don't talk alone. I literally was worried. I was like, I only talk when people are talking.

I don't talk alone. I literally was worried. I was like, do I need to go in and do something? I was glad I found the words. I could see that you were in trouble. No, it was bad. And you weren't even going to help me at all. But I didn't know what to do.

No, you didn't know what to do. You're supposed to run over and tackle me. Just distract. Well, we certainly don't know what to do. I knew you were fucked. Yeah, but I found it. It worked out great. You did.

Look, if you're in an improv scene, you're fumbling around, if you look on the back line, you see me, there's no savior there. You're fucked. Just go, I'm so glad I'm not in this one. And then you go, you did this to yourself? Yeah, yeah. You initiated the lady with the cape on, loser.

Look, today's a big sandwich day. Yeah. You can't eat them. I ate them all. I was so excited to be. Are you kidding? I can and did. We can't eat.

Sandwiches are bad for you. How are sandwiches even that bad for you? I sort of think a sandwich is kind of healthy. I do tacos. I do a lot of tacos. Sandwiches can't be that bad for you, right? I'm literally just a short'm like a short gal. It's fine.

She just knows her limits. I know my limits and I love to fucking eat. And so like, if I'm gonna have a sub, I want like the 18 inch, I don't want like a little finger sandwich. What a sub you ordered today. And we should have asked the commissioner this because I tried some of your sub.

Can I rank my opinion on what you're... Of course you can. You can't speak for the commissioner, Arden. He said it's one on fun. So I think that, I think to each individual, their judgment is what they ordered, right? Versus each other. But if you go to a restaurant, we're all friends, right?

So then I was like, oh, let me try a bite. Like I get the idea of like, cause I've never been to Jersey Mike's. I was so excited. And like, I was try a bite. It like, I get the idea of like, cause I've never been to Jersey Mike's. I was so excited and like, I was very into it. So I got a hot sub and a cold sub. Cause I wanted to really be like, let me give this. I didn't know what I did some research of what to get. And I was like, cause I wanted to give the chain.

This is important. Much madness is important. I wanted to sort of have an idea of what they had. So from my, if I go to a restaurant, I taste my friend's food, then I really kind of understand, like, OK, this is representing Jersey Mike's to me. I think the overarching rule is you've

got to trust your own gut. And so if your judgment is going to be swayed by a bite you had of someone else's food, then I think that's OK. I think as long as you're saying what's in your heart, what's in your belly in terms of what is the superior chain, I think you're doing your due. I asked the commissioner, we're gonna get a official verdict soon.

To me, it feels like you want, like this is important. This is not just any episode. This is Munch Madness, you know? Like you want to really like give the, I tried as much as I could have the chain today. Let's back it up a second, because you said this was your first visit to Jersey Mike's. This was also your maiden voyage to Wendy's, is that correct?

I haven't had Wendy's in a long time. You've been in a long time. I've never had their, I've had burgers, but I haven't had their chicken and I've never had their Frosty. So that's what it is. You've never had the chicken, never had the Frosty. Everything I had today I've never had. Yeah, and I believe you've never had their fries because they updated their fries since

2021. I've never had their fries. That was extremely disappointing to me. I didn't know they updated the fries and I. I've never had their fries. That was extremely disappointing to me. I didn't know they updated the fries, and I love Wendy's fries how they were. I was at McDonald's. I felt sad about that. Yeah.

Now, because this is something I've been very upset with on the podcast. It's honestly a big problem because they're not as good. They were really good. They were a long, thick, puffy fry. It's still a thin, not too, not that big steak fry. It was like a nice classic fry. Like it's still a thin, not too, not that big steak fry. Like it was like a nice classic fry.

Golden yellow. Golden yellow. Dip it in the Frosty, perfect combination. Skin, they added skin. They did and I dipped it in the Frosty and it was just not, it just wasn't right. I knew I dipped, I got fries and a Frosty. I did vanilla.

And I, but I had my friend Bridget, who I had lunch with today, told me to dip the fries in the Frosty. And did vanilla. And I, but I had my friend Bridget, who I had lunch with today, told me to dip the fries in the Frosty. And then I was at Trader Joe's and the gentleman helping me when I was checking out, he said, you gotta dip the fries. Can you tell everyone what you're doing? All day, everyone.

Everyone I know. I have to, people love it. They love it, I know. And people were excited. They were excited for me. No, cause, and I was excited too. I mean, I was, I used to get that, we used to drive very far out of our way

in high school to get the fries and Frosty. Wow. We would drive for,. No, and I was excited too. I mean, I used to get that, we used to drive very far out of our way in high school to get the fries and Frosty. Wow. We would drive for, you know, 45 minutes to just as like a way to hang out. I wanna drive three minutes for those fries. Yeah, I wouldn't drive, I wouldn't walk a step for the fries.

Wow. I kept wondering. Wow. But I ate half of my box of fries. How long ago though, like, when fast food is delivered and you're like, I kept wondering, is it because I'm not there? Like would these fries have been a lot better piping hot

if I'm right there? Amelia picked up the Wendy's order and drove it straight here. The Wendy's was picked up. It was in the like cooler to keep it hot and fresh longer hopefully. Okay, so how many minutes, how many minutes till I arrive? I have to say I imagined you guys having like a way to keep it hot.

Like I thought you had this system. We did. Yeah. I would say from restaurant to mouth, about 10 to 12 minutes. That's a lot for a fry. That's not good. But that's not too long.

That's not too long. What the fries were, that's really bad. The fries should still be good. The fries should be great. So is her saying that if I waited 12 minutes for my McDonald's fries, cause I love McDonald's. I think you would still find them to be good. The fries should be great. So it's worth saying that if I waited 12 minutes for my McDonald's fries, because I love McDonald's. I think you would still find them to be good.

Okay. Because these were, and again, I love French fries. These were not good. I, look. But that's not what we're judging it on. We're judging it on chicken. We're judging it on chicken. The Frosty was great.

And I love the chicken skin. Frosty rocked my socks off. The Frosty was great. You can't judge it by the Frosty. The Frostys were good. But it was great. I wanna give a shout out to Wendy's. I loved the chicken skin. Frosty rocked my socks off. The frosty was great. You can't judge it by the frosty. But it was great. The frosties were good. I want to give a shout out to Wendy's. I loved my frosty.

The frosties are good. Yeah. We like Wendy's. We think that they've gone downhill a little bit, Wags and I. We recently did a chain rescue episode with our buddy Jason Sheridan about Wendy's decline. And I think this is a thing of I was worried about Wendy's going in because I have a lot of allegiance to Wendy's decline. And I think this is a thing of, I was worried about Wendy's going in because I have a lot of allegiance to Wendy's.

I always viewed it as like kind of like a little bit more esteemed among the core four burgeries. It felt like the real burger. It felt like the real burger place. A step above and, you know, but now with the entry of places like Five Guys, I know these are long established now, but like, you know, Five Guys in a Shake Shack,

other places doing like the elevated fast casual. So Wendy's has kind of declined a little bit in comparison. In-N-Out is still so good. Well, In-N-Out's so good, but do you think they should, I think In-N-Out should make nuggets. I think it's a huge oversight problem. Wow, their burgers are so good. They are, but I think they really need a nugget option.

I love their burgers. Like, I just think you need that. I preach and respect to you. I respect and preach. I think they would make like sort of steak and shake style, like a battered, yummy sort of, yeah. You're giving me a lot to think about. You did blow our mind.

This couch really got rocked over here. They don't alter their menu all that often. The last menu item they added, I believe, was hot chocolate, and that was like, you know. That's kind of weird. Yeah, I had a little bit. What? In LA? Yeah, and that was, but-

Who was demanding that? Before that it was maybe coffee was the last thing they added, like they don't update their menu all that often, so like, it would be seismic to me. Their shakes are so thick, their fries are so salty and good. Their burgers are incredible. Oh my God, I've never had one of the shakes because I love the good. Their fries are so salty and good. Their burgers are incredible. Oh my God, I've never had one of the shakes because I love the shakes.

The shakes are so thick you can't get it out. It's incredible. Their burgers are so good. And the fries are so salty. They're like, I love it. I love a burger and a fry. Yeah, when I was pregnant, the In-N-Out burger was like my go-to.

Like I got that like all the time. Yeah, dude. And I would just sit there and be like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, so secret menu. Wait, that sounds really good. Wait, what is it? Does it look like a twist, like a- No, it's just half and half, basically, right, Wives? You can get a combination of any of the flavors. It's like just saying- There's a Neapolitan, which is all three. Ooh, girl. We need to go there. And then- Let's go there.

Black and white shake is chocolate vanilla. Look, we're not talking in and out today. That's right. We will be at some point during the tournament of champions. That's the tournament of tournament of champions of champions. You gotta bring us back. Well, so-

We wanna do it now. Just to understand how it's gonna work, chicken is just like possibly knocked out at this point or sandwiches are knocked out at this point. One of these is going to lose. One of these is gonna exit the tournament. Then it's gonna be a different type of thing that's brought in.

That's right, yes. Okay, okay, so like burger or something. Yes. So, okay, great. Yes, so- Okay. So the thing that you can judge on tight is the chicken. I gotta say this.

Okay. I had a spicy chicken sandwich with eggs. Yeah. And I opened can judge on tight is the chicken. I gotta say this. Okay. I had a spicy chicken sandwich, Wags. Yeah. And I opened it up and I ate the whole thing and I really loved it. I gotta say, I had the chicken nuggets, which I've never had from Wendy's, and I liked them a lot.

I had the chicken nuggets and I didn't know to get the spicy. I would have gotten the spicy, but I thought, okay, it's called original. Let's just get the classic. It was delicious, but the nuggets were incredible. The nuggets were really good. The nuggets were incredible, and the sandwich was great.

And then I had a bite of your sandwich. Delicious. I also had a burger, which... It feels different than how it used to be. Thoughts? I think it's been, I think like, you know, like everything. Wendy's is just... It's a bit of a shadow of its former self.

I haven't had Wendy's in 20 years. That's wild to think about. I just realized that. The pickle was good. The reason I picked the original and not the spicy because the spicy had no pickle. So I put the pickle on it. Oh, see I was deleting things left and right.

Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's- I'm afraid of certain toppings. Whoa, like what? Pickles. I love- yeah, yeah. Here's- I'm afraid of certain toppings. Whoa, like what? Pickles. I love- Mayo, mustard.

Whoa. To just go- Hot pepper. We're not judging, we're not judging, we're not judging any of this food, but I just wanna say this quickly, I wonder how you'll feel. You love skin on chicken.

I do. Do you like skin on the potatoes? Cause I do not. No. To keep the skin off the potatoes. I don't need to taste the skin. Thank you. And I'm honestly pretty sad. Baked potato the potatoes. I don't need to taste the skin. Thank you. And I'm honestly pretty sad,

because I was really excited about the Wendy's fries today. And when I came in and they were kind of like, like a little smushed old vibe. They were bad. It wasn't good. Let me put it this way. I already ordered for today, I knew I was sitting and eating in one sitting,

and I went out for lunch beforehand. I got two subs from Jersey Mice. I got a sandwich. I got nuggets and I got fries, because I got a sandwich. I got nuggets. And I got fries, because I was so excited. And a Frosty. The fries, I was so excited for the fries. They sucked ass.

Oh yeah, they were immediately very disappointing. I was like eating a little wet cloth. Wags, Wags, he texted on the dub, and he was like, "'Do they know we're just judging chicken from Wendy's? No, no, no. I'm trying to be clear. I felt like I wanted to.

I still wanted to enjoy my like, you know, I didn't know what was going to happen with the chicken, so I had to have a burger in case the chicken went side. I love that you did it. I think that it was the right move. I also feel like I wanted to give Wendy's a chance. Like, OK, Wendy's, what do you got, girl? Also, it was my chance to eat Wendy's

for the first time in 20 years where I was kind of excited about it. Same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same, same. And here's the thing, I love that spicy chicken sandwich. It was good today. It was hitting, as you would say, Wags. The only thing that wasn't hitting, and David Cross will find this out when he gets home.

The lettuce. The lettuce on his back. That lettuce was real bad. I threw lettuce all over David Cross, and he said, you threw lettuce on me. And I was like, yes, I did. I'm sorry. And he said, no, you're not. And then I said, I sincerely me. And I was like, yes, I did. I'm sorry. And he said, no, you're not. And then I said, I sincerely am.

And he was like, OK. I felt like he didn't accept my apology. He did accept your apology. And then we explained him what the podcast was, and then he left. And then I said, Munch Madness, like March Madness. And he was like, yeah, I get that. I'm David Cross.

And then he left. That was our interaction with David Cross. No, but the nuggets, though, the nuggets. The nuggets. Let's talk with David Cross. No, but the nuggets though, the nuggets. The nuggets, let's talk about the nuggets. Now, I love a chicken, I'm a Mickey D's girl. I'm a McNugget person. I love a McNugget. I love a McNugget.

Come on, is there a better nugget than the McNugget? No, no. You know what I'm into right now? At home are Jack and Annie's Jackfruit Nuggets. Wow, interesting. Those are really good. What are you, do you have those in the air fryer? Air fryer. Air fryer. Okay. Yeah. Wow, interesting. Those are really good. What do you, do you have those in the air fryer?

Air fryer. Okay. I wanna come over for one. Wonderful. Do you eat them or is it just for the girls? I just shove them up my ass. No, I eat them. My kids eat them and I eat them.

I want one. Do they have protein? What's the deal with jackfruit? They do, I believe. I, something on the box looked like it was like positive. How do you use the air fryer? You just stick it in and press the button? I have a small one, and it just only does one thing. It's the same temperature, and you just turn the dial,

and that's how much time it is at that temperature. I'll be there. Come do it. You'll like it. It's good. But that's what I eat at home. But if I'm going out to a fast food. I love a nug.

But I do actually think almost a steak. Yeah, but a steak and shake, like a tender. Are we putting tenders in the same category? I think tendies are kind of, yeah, I think they're adjacent. I mean, like, I- I should say McDonald's, McNuggets are the- McNuggets are so good. Well, it's one of those things

where they're specifically McDonald's own. And because they kind of, they invented the nugget. The idea of like, you know, taking this meat and compressing it into this really unnatural warm factor. They invented a nugget? Yeah, the nugget, the idea of taking this meat and compressing it into this really unnatural form factor. They invented a nugget? Yeah, the nugget was not a thing until McDonald's invented it. That's crazy.

I think they've gotten enough compensation. I honestly think they should get more compensation. We should get them more compensation. So every company that's making a nugget is basically a derivative of that. Yeah, it's all derived from that. Whoa, that's nuts. A way to eat processed chicken.

We did Do-A-Thon too, and we did it to raise money for McDonald's. Not the charity, but specifically for McDonald's. Just for McDonald's. Not for Ronald McDonald's. Just to make sure we get fairly compensated. I just had a flashback of a person that I went on a few terrible dates with,

and by a few I mean more than that, who used to say this phrase like, oh yeah, that's clutch. That's what clutch is. Like that just goes along to break up with somebody. Who used to say this phrase, like, oh, yeah, that's clutch. That's real clutch. It's like that just goes along to break up with somebody. Who was it? Those nuggets, you know.

Don't tell me. You know. That sounds cool. Those nuggets are clutch. Those nuggets are really clutch. It's like, what? Let me guess, he's been on The Doughboys like nine times. Clutch.

Clutch. Clutch. Yeah, we'll make a check out to the Ray Kroc Foundation or whatever the fuck it is we have. I think that he needs it. Those nuggets, the Wendy's nuggets. Donald Duck. Thank you. Exceeded.

Oh my God. So there was a code phrase and it was understood. Got it. Or you were being literal. I'm actually pretty shocked that's who was saying that, but okay. Yeah, Donald Duck went to take clutch a lot. Yeah.

Clutch. Okay. Cute. That wasutch. Okay. Cute. That was cute. Okay. It was a very bad impression of Donald. Okay.

Okay. The Wendy's nuggets, I do not, it's not a regular thing I get. The last time we had them, Mitch, was we had the Wendy's Sauc's sauced nuggets, which are, I think, just a big whiff. I just don't think that version of a nugget works. I had that. I almost got that. There were these crazy saucy nuggets. I was like, I just, it almost was like,

you want the blue, the green. I was like, that was too crazy looking. The sauced nuggets are unnecessary, but I think the regular nuggets and the ones we had today was quite good. The sauce nuggets are unnecessary, but I think the regular nuggets and the ones we had today was quite good. The blue and green. I don't think, I don't know if it goes that way. I don't think they were colored.

They smell like it's... Like it's like one's blue slime, one's green slime. Yeah, they just smell like crazy. They are, they are, they are, there is a very orangey looking slime. It was like a... And when you got like the tins of like popcorn and they're like, they felt like they were too coated

in things and I liked it. Do you remember that like bright colored popcorn in the 90s? Yes. It was like neon blue, neon green. It felt like that but chicken. Yeah. So the nuggets exceeded expectations.

I'm thinking of one that's This is insane. Un-fucking-believable. This is insane. It is insane. Tell him to get off your property, Karen. It does not happen. Tell him to get off your property, Karen.

This does not happen. Karen, how long have you been doing this? This does not happen. Karen, how long have you been doing this? Because if this is happening in the way of your life. This feels like it's going to fuck up your life. Yeah, if this had happened while we were watching The Monkey three times during a 90-minute film.

You would have loved it. I would have. Something entertaining would have been happening at the theater. You seem, it feels, this feels like it's adding stress to your life. This is crazy. I've looked and I've seen, I've saw what it is.

Yeah. It is just a, it's a crazy, this never happens. Wow. It's a crazy person? I've had this on since my house almost got broken into. No, I know. Wait, what'd you see? No, there's nothing truly crazy. But it is weird that this is happening.

The frequency with which it's happening. Yeah. Because it would not normally happen. It's the same guy that I saw before. It's the same guy. He's just hanging out. The same Amazon guy? Yeah.

I don't know. He's screaming, let me know if you wanted it into the camera. He actually shouldn't be back there, and he shouldn't be back right now. Yes, I know, it is bizarre. He was just there. He was just there.

How much did you order from Amazon? Okay, do you have like a subscribe and save? He didn't go back and come back. What's going on? Something's going on. There's something weird. Something weird's going on there with that. We're gonna need to look into that.

I remember. Thank you, Lapius. Thank you. Do you think you like took a piss on the back of your house? I accidentally did a subscribe and save to like, Imodium. And I remember I had like 10 tabs and like diarrhea. I was like, what was that one?

Like, I don't know. I think I was like, OK, in case I have to drink from a river. Well, they'll trick you into doing subscribe and save. I didn't mean to. And I was like, oh my god, like how much diarrhea does Jeff Bezos think I have? Yeah. He keeps tabs on what everyone orders.

For sure. He's up in that. In his stick rocket. You guys ever think he took a piss on the back of my house? I feel like it, because I know that they don't get to take bathroom breaks when he went around like, you know what, if that's the case, then please piss away. I don't care.

He's pissing on your house. Let it out, bud. So I just got a big thing, a mural ax. Big boy. Oh. Super size, a Costco size mural ax. That's the opposite of the emodeum. Get it out.

Get it out of me. Get it out, get it out of me. Get it out, girl. It's for you. Every day. Wendy's has fallen on hard times. Wendy's has declined. And I feel like if we evaluated Wendy's on the totality of its offerings, including the fries,

it would not look as good as it did today because let me tell you, that Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich was hitting. I was like, this is peak performance from Wendy's. The nuggets were fantastic. The nuggets were great. And the lettuce wasn't good. The lettuce wasn't even that, like the lettuce

was a little wilted. It was like old product, but it was, that said, it was still like a really good execution of the Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich. It was a bite into a memory. It was like, this is what I love about this chain. And- That should be their slogan, a bite into a memory.

That's a good slogan. I don't think I coined it, but yeah. This is what I love about this chain. And that should be their slogan, a bite into a memory. That's a good slogan. I don't think I coined it, but yeah. You did. OK. Thank you, Matt. Say it's trademarked. All right, it's trademarked.

Trademarked. TM. TM. TM. TM. TM. TM. R. C. Whatever it takes.

The Jersey Mike's number seven. I mailed it to myself. Jersey Mike's number seven with turkey and provolone. Now this is a sandwich I get more frequently than anything. This is a go-to for me. Emma, I believe this is also your go-to sandwich. It's my go-to. I love the number seven. Very solid sandwich. And I got it...

I didn't. Yeah, but I was like, I had it, and I was like, you know what? This is Jersey Mike's. And again, I think if I'm thinking of all of Jersey Mike's offerings, I maybe have a little bit of a different evaluation versus, like, in the same way that all of Jersey Mike's offerings, I think if I'm thinking of all of Jersey Mike's offerings, I maybe have a little bit of a different evaluation versus like in the same way that all of Jersey Mike's offerings I think might raise its ceiling a little bit,

having all of Wendy's offerings might lower the floor a little bit, if that makes sense. Because I feel like Wendy's worst is gonna make things sink but Jersey Mike's best is going to make it elevate. I didn't necessarily have Jersey Mike's best, I had Jersey Mike's most solid. So maybe that was user error on my part. But it was still like-

It's one of these worst now, it's fries for fuck's sake. Those fries, I mean, I'm sure there's other items. It might be, sometimes seasonal offerings really don't work though. I mean, those sauce nuggets are still clinging to the menu for some reason, or just like a complete whiff. I went to my order. Yeah.

I got an update from Suss. Okay. Can we judge our rankings on someone else's sandwich? Like I took a bite of Ardent's. Does that count? His response, yes. Okay. Second text, wait. Third text, no.

Wow. So we cannot, which is- So it didn't even matter that you ate a nugget. No, I had my own nugget matter that you ate a nugget? No, I had my own nugget. Oh, you had your own nuggets. I ordered my own nugget. Okay.

I thought you had some on mine. It does matter for me. Yeah. Cause you loved my sandwich. Cause you got a steak and cheese sandwich, a Philly cheese, was the Philly- I'll tell you what I ordered. Thank you for asking, I pulled it up.

Cause I take this seriously, this is my main job. Yeah. I had, from Jersey Mike's two sandwiches, because I've never been there. I got a cold sub and a hot sub. I've heard so much about it. People love it. You know, I'm a D'Angelo's girl.

OK, I had. Now, is Jersey Mike's a West Coast chain? Like, why? No, it's actually from Jersey. And so that's the name Jersey, right? Yeah, it's not Solon Valley. For Franchura. It originated in Jersey.

And they have Shore points because of their history, the Jersey Shore. So but yeah, it's nationwide now. We're just D'Angelo, which is regional. OK. Shore what? Shore points. That's through their app.

OK. OK, so I got two. I got the hot Mike's Famous Philly, which is like a Philly cheesesteak. Yes. And then I got, so that was the number 17th, and then I got the veggie cold one on rosemary parmesan and I added hot honey. Veggie cold one on rosemary parmesan.

So I wanted a cold stuff, so I got the veggie one. Hot honey. Hot honey to veggie. That is a lot of juice. Can I tell you, I kind of like just processed that. Well, it's not hot, it's like, it's not like hot. It's like spicy honey. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I just love a honey. Okay, let me just start with. Honey's an interesting sandwich. Like a mustard honey. It's like a mustard. Oh, it's a honey mustard. Like honey mustard. Hot honey mustard.

No, it's not honey. It's like hot honey mustard. But it was interesting that it was. It might be hot honey. Don't they have just a hot honey right now? Are you sure it's not honey? I think it's a hot honey. Shh.

Shh. Shh. You don't know what you had. Here's the thing. The steak was so fucking good. The steak was good. It was delicious. It was so. And by the way, can I tell you, the gentleman.

I would never think to order that. The gentleman that checked me out at Trader Joe's was like, you got a Philly not in Philly? And I was like, yeah, he's like, they're not gonna do a good Philly cheesesteak. He was incredible. Do you know how happy that Trader Joe's guy was to have like a topic to go with?

He asked, he goes, what are you doing? You know they always wanna talk. He said, what are you doing today? I was like, well, I'll tell you. He said, let me give you the whole low down, buddy. I ordered a Philly cheesesteak, I did this, I did that. You slow dance? He asked, we slow dance. We're engaged. Wow.

Yeah. We walked in a circle. No, but somebody told me also, my friend Bridgette said that the veggie is really good. I just felt, I felt like I was already having so much meat today. So I was like, I wanted to get the, I wanted to get the, like when they put the vinegar

and the oil and the spices. Mike's way. I got it, Mike's way. Yeah. I got Mike's way, and I have thoughts about that. OK. The steak was so good. I'm excited to hear this.

Yeah, cause the hot subs don't come for people who don't know frequent Jersey Mike's. The hot subs do not come Mike's way. That's not how they're connected. Can I just quickly take a side detour here? Yeah. You're the snack queen I've heard. Yes.

Do you do a lot of Trader Joe's snacks or no? I love Trader Joe's snacks. There's a lot to love about that place. I like their blue cheese chips. I like their, um, blue cheese chips. I like their horse riders chips. You know where I think they really thrive is frozen treats. Yeah.

They got good frozen. I like a mochi ball. I'm talking mochi. I'm talking the ice cookie ice cream sandwich is like the best thing in the world. It's 450 calories. So you got to strap in, but it's really good. I get a lot.

I mean, I take, I try a lot of their stuff at the holidays when hosting, and they really deliver with like a chocolate mixed in with a potato chip. I love chocolate covered chips. I got that from Dine In for sure. They'll really, they'll do a lot. I've covered my own chips in chocolate.

They do a great work over there. I love flavors. Yeah. Go on about your... Yeah. Oh, you have thoughts? Oh, no, no, no. I was just wondering. I agree.

This cheesesteak was so good that it made me sad for Wendy's because my individual sandwich, that one sandwich, was so fucking good that I was like, girl, I'm going to have to leave my wife for you. Like, it's going to break up my marriage with a nugget. It was a problem. My sandwich, which is, I got the turkey, which I would get, I get turkey sandwiched

pretty much everywhere that I would get a sandwich from. I, and so we hold hands like Ariana Grande. Um. Um. Uh. Uh. Um. We'll just be clutching each other the whole day.

I. People are holding space for Jersey Mike's versus Wendy's. Yeah. Yes. We'll just be clutching each other the whole day. People are holding space for Jersey Mike's versus Wendy's. Yes, we're holding space for you. Can I hold your finger? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, here we go. You can just zoom in on that. Okay, okay.

So when I got the Mike's Way turkey sandwich, what happened was... I support you. Sorry, a lot of intentionality. I thought Mike's Way actually, that's how I want it, okay? That's what I put on it, typically. Yeah, typically. All those things that were on Mike's way. It came so unexciting. The way it was presented, it was like maybe the person wanted to go home.

I don't know. I felt like what it was was like there was like barely any tomato, barely any less, like thick thing of turkey, barely any onions, kind of smooshed in. And it was just, I like to have it be like a lot of lettuce, a lot of lettuce, a lot of tomatoes, kind of like, ah-haw-haw.

You were going to chow-chow without Wendy's. And I eat so much Wendy's today, I was not expecting that at all. No, you were like- I was thinking I'm only gonna be really into the Jersey Mike's, but I'll try the Wendy's. You- Didn't even want the Jersey Mike's.

And I typically like that. To be fair, the Wendy's, you did really get into the Frosty. The Frosty was great. As the burger. No, like if I was only eating the nuggets, I would have had to keep eating the sandwich because it wouldn't have enough food, but I ordered enough things that Wendy used to balance.

So this is just about the nuggets though. The Wendy's was way more exciting. The nuggets were- But you were excited about the Frosty. The nuggets were leaps and bounds above the sandwich, sweetie. Sweetie. Like I'm not even exaggerating.

The sandwich wasn't good. I didn't even want to take it home. But you didn't try my, you tried this. I didn't want what you had. You didn't see it. I'll tell you. You didn't see it before 15 mils were over. She had been road hard.

But I wouldn't even be able to add that to my review anyway. I feel very hurt on behalf of Jersey Mike's that you can't. I'm sad for them that that's what I was given today because I thought for sure it was gonna slam dunk over Wendy's, not the case. My sandwich was a star, baby girl. Tell her, tell her. It was.

The hot sandwich was good. My star was born, that's that. That's your new sandwich. And do they ever do the cold sandwiches hot? Like can you go like, I want this hot? No, they're pretty bifurcated on their menu. And I have a thing. They are very bifurcated.

I have a- Bifurcated? Yeah, they're very bifurcated. They menu. And I have a thing. They are very bifurcated. I have a thing. Bifurcated? Yeah, they're very bifurcated. They're split into two different categories. You don't quite question it too much. You don't have to ask me what bifurcated means, for example. What is bifurcated?

But it's like they're split into two categories. There's a binary. Hot or cold? Hot, cold. You don't get to go mix and match. Good, like fucking awesome and disappointing. Yeah, I mean, I like Jersey Mike's cold sandwiches and I will get Jersey Mike's 10 times as often

as I get Wendy's. Because Wendy's is an indulgence and Jersey Mike's is like a solid lunch. And- Did you have a bite of my sandwich? I did have a bite of your sandwich. Wasn't it a gorgeous girl? That was transcendent.

I thought it was delicious. But here's where Tournament of Champions- Transcendent? This is where Tournament of Champions gets a little confusing for me. Exactly. Because it's like, would I eat Jersey Mike's again? Of course. Would I eat Wendy's again?

It might be another 20 years. I don't know what's going to happen there. But I, today, if I'm talking about those two items, that's what I'm basing it on. I feel like we need to get the commissioner on the phone. That's the madness of Munch Madness. We need to get the commissioner on the phone. No, we've talked to him too much.

I think of this, but I feel like now Jersey Mike's, that sandwich should put it to the next level. And I feel like because your sandwich was weird. My sandwich was, look. What'd you get? I got the buffalo chicken cheese stick. And it's a thing I get a lot. And I do like it quite a bit.

Did you get that because it was a chicken matchup? It was too saucy. You know what? Was that part of the calculation? That wasn't the reason. I actually genuinely liked that as a hot sub there. OK. OK. That's what I get.

And I think it's just Frank's Red Hot Sauce, blue cheese, lettuce and tomato, and then their chicken filly, not cheesesteak, but chicken cheese or whatever. And it's good. It was bad today. It was over-saucy. It was very saucy. It was a little cold.

There was just like, there were, and there is that issue with the toppings. It was bad today. It was over-sauced. It was very saucy. It was a little cold. There was just like, there were, and there is that issue with the toppings, but I had a bite of that, of the Philly cheese steak, and it took me back in time. It's so, Hot sub time machine.

I was back to being a little boy. Wow, that's really good. There was even a little bit of a tang to it. Excuse me. There was a tang to it. Like, whatever the cheese and the sauce, there was like, I don't know what flavor this is. It was incredible. It reminded me of being a little boy at D'Angelo's.

It was a great D'Angelo's. It was very D'Angelo's. Who you were a spokesperson for. We love D'Angelo's. Shout out D'Angelo's. So that was like, you bit that. And it was like that moment in Ratatouille when he just shrinks into a little boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you guys see that? Yeah, Ratatouille? Did you see the little blonde haired kid at the table? Oh, when you shrank, yeah. I did, I saw you, you were so cute. You were so sweet. And then you grew back up,

and you're like, oh, dicks the same size. Something must have happened then. Just trying to get back down again. I also wanna know about your thumbs up on Ratatouille. Ratatouille, Ratatouille. Some of those lady rats in Ratatouille. Can you do that Shininga Roffalo in that movie? Doesn't that seem so surprising?

Yeah, she's great. She's fantastic. It's such a good performance. I stand by my thumbs up. Great movie. Yeah, you know what, honestly, yeah. She's hot in that movie. That chef is hot.

That chef is hot. I go to Jersey Mike's more. in that movie. That character. That chef is hot. That chef is hot. I go to Jersey Mike's more. I get the number seven, I get that number seven a lot more than I get Wendy's now. That's what you had. That's what I have, yeah. But let me tell you, speaking of holding space,

guess what wasn't holding space? My tummy. Wow. After that spicy chicken sandwich. It was a lot, I had a bite. Because I ate the whole spicy chicken sandwich, I didn't- space? My tummy. Wow. After that spicy chicken sandwich. It was a lot. Because I ate the whole spicy chicken sandwich, I didn't- Oh, Wendy's, Wendy's.

Even with your cheesesteak, which now I can't rank, according to Susser's rules, I can't rate your cheesesteak versus the spicy chicken, but that, it would be tight. It's tight no matter what. And do I take in past considerations? I'm not supposed to. It's supposed to be this meal.

But I think that this is a close one for me still. Wow. I love Wendy's. It used to be one of my favorites. I don't know which way I'm going. It's gonna be interesting to see here. I can't believe it's even close because what was delivered to me was, it was night and day. I mean, I had an angel.

But you liked your chicken sandwich. I did, but the steak was so insane. The steak was problem and day. I mean, I had an angel. But you liked your chicken sandwich. I did, but the steak was so insane. The steak was problematically good. Like the steak is gonna ruin breakup families. Like dad's leaving for his secretary now. Like it's a problem. Sure. It's like, it was too hot to handle.

Like it's unsustainable. Like this is, it was so good that, I can't believe it's even a close race. Because if everyone had that, it would be, if everybody ordered the steak, I feel like it would be a no-brainer. I don't know. I don't know. I think it would be close. But you think, look, the votes aren't in yet.

We don't know. I'm comparing Arden's Philly cheesesteak and my Wendy's spicy chicken. Okay. Two hot bites. Two hot bites. Two hot bites. Which of those would I rather finish? I think it's that Wendy's spicy chicken.

I'm being honest. You love chicken though. I do love chicken. You love chicken. You miss chicken. I do love chicken and I have nostalgia for that Wendy's spicy chicken. Now look, Jersey Mike's comes into this competition

of juggernaut. It's possible there's gonna be a race happening here. I know what side I'm on. I know who's racing for Jersey Mike's. I really thought, what I'll say, and going back to the way this is being judged as per the rules declared by Commissioner Susser, I think that if it's all of Jersey Mike's

versus all of Wendy's, even though that does not open up that much all of Jersey Mike's versus all of Wendy's, even though that does not open up that much more of Jersey Mike's menu, I still think because of Wendy's other offerings, bringing it down, that that's a walkover for Jersey Mike's. I think Jersey Mike's wins pretty easily in that scenario. But that's not what we're doing today. What wins in what scenario?

If all of both menus are on the table. If we're just like everything from Wendy's versus everything from Jersey Mike's. I think Jersey Mike's wins easily. I think Jersey Mike's wins easily. Those fries were really bad. Fries are really bad. Wouldn't you rather have some Miss Vicky's potato chips?

Yes. Sure, but that also to me is like, I get what you're saying. And also, like I said. How about some Wild Cherry Fountain Pepsi from Jersey Mike's? That's always hitting. That sounds great.

But also, you named like two products. I mean, like. But that's what they have. They don't make that's always hitting. That's great. Jersey, but also, you named like two products. I mean like, I mean, that's what they have. They don't make that, but yeah. The brownie at Jersey Mike's fantastic. We talked about that. I was eyeing the snickerdoodle. There's, they have good patched desserts there.

The Italian sub. The Italian sub is great. I mean, look, this one I got the Frosty. The Frosty is good. The Frosty was fabulous. I love a Frosty. The Frosty was uncottable. The Frosty's out of the swirls. That was gorgeous.

I loved it. I had a taste of both Frostys, and I will say, it was the hottest world. They were gorgeous. They were gorgeous. I think we have to do a countdown and a vote, Wags. I think that there's no other. Or do you think that there's more to talk about here?

No. I mean, I think we've all said our thoughts. Or should we reveal it one by one, survivor style? That's something we've never done. We gotta write them down. We have to write it down. We did do that one. Should we do it again?

I was ready to go. I mean, we could. I think we should all scream it at the same time. I think we should count down from three to one. We can all put it on our notes in our notes app. No, no, screaming, screaming, screaming. We'll count down from three and we'll say it to one and we'll say it in unison.

In unison. Oh, I like the writing it down. All right, fine, we'll fucking write it down. No, no, no, no, no. We need Sharpies. Hey, look, Mike's way is that jersey the mics. It doesn't have to be at Doughboys. We won't do Mike's way here.

It will be better for our audio listeners for us to yell it out loud. Yeah, definitely. OK, here we go. All right, we'll count down from three to one. Oh, actually, wait. Can we write down and reveal it and yell it out when we reveal it?

Yeah. So write down from three to one. So we'll write it down, then, so write down from three to, so we'll write it down, then we'll count down from three to one. We need to get the whiteboards. I think we maybe only have three whiteboards. We don't need to get the whiteboards.

It'll be fine. Okay. We'll just, just write it on your device. It's too late, it's happening. She's gone, I don't know where she is. Okay. Lapkus, your partner's name is Mike. Yes.

We're going to Jersey Mike's, having Mike's Way. You're talking to Mike Mitchell. Are you ever like, I can't get away from this? Can I get another name in this world? Because I always feel that way. When I count on my wife's name in the wild, her name is a common name, but it's not so unusual where it's like, what the hell?

But I'll run into it, like, huh, how about that? Yeah, when I read that it was going to be Mike's way, I felt pretty controlled and trapped. Yeah. But I allowed it to happen. I felt triggered. Yeah, yeah, I was triggered. Snowflake.

Such that I am. When I drive along and I see Arden Boulevard, I'm like, I better be owning all that real estate. Yeah. Okay, I get a scrap of paper, everyone else gets a whiteboard. Oh my God, oh my God. I feel like I'm on the traitor.

I just watched Amelia pull that out of the trash. I feel like I'm on the traitor. Trash paper? Oh, you're using fucking trash paper, Wags? I'm gonna borrow your... It was clean, it was on the top. Don't use Wags' mark. I need your marker when you're done. And that's why they put was on the top. Don't use WISE's mark.

I need your mac when you're done. And that's why they put it in the trash. Okay. Don't look at my paper. Uh oh, I wonder what it is. You cheater. Shit, I tried to copy Lauren, and I fucked myself over.

Don't try to copy. I've written down my answer. Hey Arden, I don't know what to put. I don't know my own flavor profile. What are you gonna put? I'm scared. DeAngelo. Deyes, obviously, as Cessar explained, your vote does not count unless there's a tiebreaker.

That feels bad. Did you all have leanings going in? I'm afraid I'll lose my job if I say. Okay, all right. Well, I'm not asking for a verdict right now. I'm just saying like- How about after maybe after? Cessar could fire us if we- I don't know if he has firing power. I don't think Cessar can iron fire.

Maybe he can, I honestly don't know. Well, I feel like it did get fired last time. That's true. The last time. Oh, that's true. Yeah, last year you did get fired at one point I think. Yeah, well, when Koalik was- That was Commissioner Koalik.

Yeah, Commissioner Koalik. Right, right. Yeah. But he was just power hungry. I don't think he actually had that power. Mitch, what are you writing down? Yeah. I've been working on that for a while. Alright, here we go.

My answer is one and only? Wait, you just showed yours. I don't know, but do we just hold it and then we all screw it up? We'll count down from three to one, reveal our answer and say our answer in unison. We'll count down from three to one and pick a answer, and say our answer in unison. We'll count down from three to one and pick a winner. Who will decide if we're Merpeople? Three, two, one. Jersey Mikes!

Wendy! Whoa! Wow! That's actually shocking. You wanna give it the thumbs up? I gave the Wendy. You thought it was a no brainer. I gave the Wendy's lady a thumbs up. I gave the Wendy. Jersey, you thought it was a no-brainer. I gave the Wendy's lady a thumbs up, the seal of approval.

I knew that I wasn't going to win. I knew it was going to be Wendy. No, I thought he was going to say Jersey Mines. I knew it wasn't. I thought you might, too. He hated his sandwich. He liked mine. I liked Arden's sandwich.

If it was steak and cheese, it would have been a much closer. I love the Buffalo Chicken Cheese Steak. I didn't order that. That's the rules. The Wendy lady get my horny seal of approval. Yeah. I like those braids. Yeah.

So there's no foot, there's no foot braids? I like those braids. Wendy's got- Do you want anything? Wendy's got nice braids. Oh cool, I'm also from Massachusetts. Oh, oh, oh. Mitch, this is a shocker.

Quincy Mike votes out Jersey Mike. Quincy Mike has voted out Jersey Mike. Look. We went with Wendy's. We went with our old program. Amelia saw it brewing today as soon as she came in. I mean, once you said that you had my sandwich, do you think if my sandwich had been able,

if the commission had let you vote? I maybe would have wrote down Jersey Meiss. And then Lauren and I would be racing right now. We would be running. It would happen, but it's not happening. Wow. Well, should I change it? Wendy's won.

Should I change it to Jersey Meiss so you guys race around the thing? That'd be kind of fun. That's OK. It's all right. By the way, the scrap of paper that Amelia got me is the outline for Wayne Brady's watch. Oh my god, he writes his improv what it is. Oh, my god.

He writes his improv? Oh, my god. This is a scandal of a century. Oh, my god. No, it just says, I'm Wayne Brady. Welcome to the podcast and so on. I'm Wayne Brady. Jeez, that's Susser levels of writing high.

What were you guys leaning towards? What were you guys leaning towards? I thought Jersey Mike's was going to win. Yeah, where are you going for the dance? I would have voted Jersey Mike's 100%. Yeah. I'm a Jersey Mike's girl in general, but that Wendy's was hitting today.

What did you get? And based on just this, I got spicy chicken nuggets. And based on this particular outing, Wendy takes the cake. For you to say that while wearing a Bada Bing t-shirt is really something. Yeah, exactly, that's saying a lot. Donna Hugh, what do you think?

Historically, I've liked Wendy's, but I also agree it's fallen off. I didn't have it today, and I've got Jersey Mike's in the fridge, so I was leaning Jersey Mike's, but this is shocking to me. Wow. I'm shocked. I'm pretty shocked.

It's what the Tournament of Chompie is all about. You kept just the important part. I couldn't erase my beautiful Wendy girl. She's looking good. Yeah, she looks really good. She looks so good. Yeah, she's so good. I think I'll be remembering that later.

I think I'll be remembering that. That's a no-explainer. Take that one to the headroom restroom and do one of those. You took off to the picture you drew. It's a Robert Crumb move. Very horny author he used to be. That's one of the advantages of being a dude.

I remember that from the film. I remember that from the film. If you're a dude, you can draw whatever your heart desires and you can go and jack it. Yeah, that's so cool. That'd be so cool. That'd be awesome. Wow, Wendy's moves on to the final four.

I can't believe it. This is what it's all about though, Wags. This is what it's all about. This is the tournament of tournament of champions of champions. Amazing. Just like a restaurant. Every time you say Wags for a reason.

Just like a restaurant. I was gonna say Wags, look, the Patriots upset the Rams in the Super Bowl. That's in the first one I'm not gonna bring up when they got upset, but these things happen. By the Giants. These things happen. Yes. Helmet catch.. By the Giants. These things happen. Yes.

Helmet catch. 18-0 season ruined. 18-1. Each year, it was a crazy upset. We don't even watch football. But look, this is what happened. If it was on its A game today, and Jersey Mikes, which is usually very consistent.

Mime was incredible. The stake sub was great. Going back to that Super Bowl, if Tom Brady got in to deflate the balls, then maybe they would have won. Deflate game. Deflate game. Deflate game. Hey, just like a restaurant by your feedback, let's open up the feedback.

Deflate game. Before we get into the feedback, Amelia, you have a little PSA on the feedback. You go through these. Yeah. Folks. Uh-oh. Make your email shorter. We don't have a lot of time by the end of the episode.

Just keep it concise. Just the question, your name, like Spoonation Burger Brigade or whatever. But just keep it tight. Thanks, AM. Keep it tight out there. Keep it tight. Thanks, A.M. Wow. Keep it tight out there. Keep it tight. Now hold on a second.

Is this cover of Amelia or was this something you said to Amelia to... You volunteered this. You said you wanted to be a PSA and I had you do it, but... Yeah, these emails are getting longer and longer and longer. Wow. Wow. So yeah, keep it tight out there. That's the best chance you have of getting on the podcast.

Today's email is from Shane on that note. Shane writes, Below is a photo of my son's first birthday cake in the shape of a giant burger with sugar cookie fries and a Photoshop pic of him as Bob's big boy because we lovingly named him Beef. Hold on, Nicknamed him Beef. I should clarify.

His legal name is not Beef, although that would be a Doughboyz fan move. Nicknamed him Beef. If you could be a Doughboyz fan move. Nick named him Beef. If you could have a birthday cake in the shape of one food, what would it be? Thanks to The Laughs and Burger Brigade for Life. Thanks Shane. Let me see if we can bring up a picture of this.

I had this up a second ago. I have a bit over here. If you can see that. I can just see it. Oh wow, that's good. Oh wow. Yeah, we'll have this up on the YouTube as well. That's gorgeous.

It's a cool looking cake. Now here's the thing, a lot of times you get those cakes. Oh, wow, that's good. Oh, wow. Yeah, we'll have this up on the YouTube as well. That's gorgeous. It's a cool looking cake. Now here's the thing, a lot of times you get those cakes. We did get a lovely burger cake actually, Mitch from Patreon sent us one on our anniversary a little bit ago. Wow. But sometimes you get those cakes.

That one was good, but sometimes there's so much fondant that they're not actually like all that flavorful. The fondant, too much fondant can be tough. Here's a PSA. Yeah. The PSI in Tom Brady's football was normal. And Bill Nye can eat shit still to this day. Bill. Here's a PSA. The PSI in Tom Brady's footballs was normal. Don't deflate me.

And Bill Nye can eat shit still to this day. Bill Nye eats shit. I don't know why I assume those cakes are ice cream cakes, but it's fondant. Fondant, yeah. Oftentimes they are fondant, but maybe they could be ice cream cake. I want to chew on fondant.

Fondant is not pleasant. I just want one bite to chew on it and see how it tastes like. I think if you use parts, I mean, I think that so many of these cakes that are fancy, not all of them use fondant. I've said this before on the podcast. I'm an October baby. Sure, obviously.

October 6th, 1982. Obviously. Don't use that info, please. Okay. I mean, I guess it's online, who cares? Okay. But my mom got me a stump of like a tree stump. It was like a haunted stump of a tree.

And there was no fondant to be found. And it was like one of the best cakes I've ever had in my life. And it was all frosting. If you can shape it out of frosting, you're really crushing. What is fondant made of? Why is it so sticky and thick?

I don't know. It's a bunch. I mean, it's sugary. It's super sugary. It's okay, okay. I think, what would I have if I could have any shape? I know, I'm like, I really- What food I would have.

Like an open pizza box, that'd be fun. That's cool. That'd be fun. All right, fondant- With the pizza in it? With the pizza in it, like a piece, yeah. Fondant is generally sugar, water, gelatin, which makes sense, and then some sort of vegetable water, gelatin, which makes sense. Gelatin, gelatin. And then some sort of vegetable oil.

Okay, respect. Yeah. So it's not the most flavorful substance, but let you mold things a little bit. I think I would like the, look, it's, there's a, one of my favorite, like, classic jokes is being so hungry, you're looking at like a, you know, for instance, a dog,

and then they turn into a big plump turkey. Yeah. Like I think that's really good. Plump turkeys are fun. And I think- Plump turkey. Well, no, I was gonna say, I wouldn't mind, and Mitch, perhaps as an homage to your birthday boy sketch,

which has that joke, which is built around that joke. Yeah. Maybe Mitch's face on top of a turkey. Oh! And then that's a cake. By the way, that just got, you just manifested that. Somebody's going to make that for you. That's really good.

My face on, so we'd be eating my face? A turkey body. Yeah, a turkey body, but your face is on it. Turkey body, Mitch's face? So we're eating, like, I'm so hungry on a deserted island that I'm getting, that I've decided to cannibalize you. Thumbs up. OK, I think I know what mine would be. Thumbs up. Thumbs to cannibalize you. Thumbs up. OK, I think I know what mine would be.

Thumbs up. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. Thumbs up. He's definitely into that. I wish. I wish. Wait, I think what I would want is,

I would want sushi, like a sushi platter, with all little pieces of sushi, but they're all little cakes. Yeah, like little pettie for sushi. Yeah. What do you like? You like sushi. I. Yeah. What do you like? You like sushi. I like sushi. What are your favorites?

I prefer like a salmon nigiri sushi. OK, yeah, yeah. But I like a lot of different types of sushi. I like sushi. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Because I feel like sometimes, I'm not to say you're a picky eater, but you certainly

have your preferences. And sometimes people who. That broke me out of a lot of pickiness. Like in my early 30s, when I started dating Mike, he was like, you should try sushi. You're going to like sushi. And then that kind of opened up a whole world. When I turned, like in my early 30s, when I started dating Mike, he was like, you should try sushi. You're going to like sushi. And then that kind of opened up a whole world. Now I'll try anything.

I used to be much pickier. Yeah. I wouldn't describe myself as a picky eater anymore, actually. Wow. Yeah. You know what, Virgos like their land of the highway. They know what they like. Yeah.

And like, but that's why we like our Virgos. Yes. Yes. She's a September baby. We love our Virgo. I didn't realize that on the podcast. September 6, October 6. Oh my god. She said September, baby. We love our Virgos. I didn't realize that on the podcast. September 6th, October 6th. Oh my god, one month later.

I think it's still in the fall birthday category, which is great. I like Virgos, I like Libras. Wait, what's your cake? Did you say? I said I was gonna do the pizza box. Oh yeah, I like that. Oh yeah, that's fun.

Open, open. Open, harder for them to make. And I want a slice missing. With also a roller, I I want to be able to eat the pizza cutter. Oh, that's fun. I would do your body-wise no-clothes turkey head. The gobbler?

It's a gobbler. Cock gobbler. Cock gobbler. It is a cock gobbler. It's just you're fully nude like a turkey for a dick. That's getting a thumbs up. That part of the turkey is your dick. Yes, that part of the dick is a cobbler.

I think in honor of the fallen chain today, Jersey Mikes, which is a shocker. Yeah. I'm shocked. I cobson'd it. I want to go run around outside the home. You're just excited. Maybe, and you know what? I'm hot-stoned it. I want to go run around outside the home. He's just excited.

Maybe, and you know what, if it's into the sushi thing, maybe an Italian sub-cake and a long, isn't a long cake fun? Fun. A long cake is fun. A long cake is fun. I think the sushi does that same thing. Yeah, a long cake is fun. Long cake is fun.

That's another hat you can make. Long cake. Long cake is fun. It can be like one of those weird, like, long bills and just like have that all written around the brim. So you want to turn the birthday boys clothing shop into like a joke shop where we have long hat bills? Yeah, long hat bills.

I kind of like it. You called it birthday boys. You said birthday boys. You meant dough boys. Oh, dough boys. Whatever. Everything I've been a part of is now. A boy.

It's a boy. How many boys out there? It's a boy. It is. Birthday boys, dough boys. Am I another? Have I been in another boys group? Oh, you're affiliated with the Sloppy Boys, loosely. That is true.

Yeah. I feel like those are former birthday boys. Oh, and that boy band that you're in. The boy band that you're in. I'm also in a boy band, yeah. You're an empresario of the boy boys. You're hung like a boy? If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain restaurants, you can email

us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE. That's 830-463-6844. Our producers Emma Erdbrink, our associate producers Amelia Marino, our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue, and our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Hey, maybe not the apparel that was pitched today, but Doughboy's apparel and merchandise is available in partnership with Kinship Goods at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. So check that out if you want hats and shirts

and what have you. That's right. It's merch madness. Not only is it munch madness, it's merch. It's also merch madness. They make really high quality merch. They make my podcast merch as well. Kinship stuff is good. The sweatshirts are so soft.

It's really nice. So great. My sister just texted me the other day and she goes, Oh my God, the sweatshirt is so soft. Kinship? Kinship goods. Yeah. I love you on an introduction. Nice. Okay.

They're the best. Great. And hey, to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Lauren Lapkus, Arden Marine, thank you so much for being here. Oh my God. What a treat. How did we do as a duo? about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking

about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking

about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking about the show's name, and we're going to be talking of Righteous Gemstones, which starts March 9th on HBO after White Lotus. I starred episode three, but then I'm on the rest of the season. And then I have a movie that's going to South by Southwest called The Threesome, and it premieres on the 7th. So if you're in Austin, get tickets and go see it. That rocks. Yay.

I have a podcast. OK, fuck it. No, no, no. And we accept this rose podcast is on iHeart, which everybody here has been there. Great podcast. Your a podcast. Oh, no. Okay, okay. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm going to accept this rose. I'm going to accept this rose. Podcast is on iHeart, which everybody here has been there. Yes.

Great podcast. Your bachelor podcast. It's really, really funny. Sorry. I have a podcast called Freedom with Scott Ackerman and Paula Tompkins where we tell stories from our lives and play games. It's really fun. And I also host a podcast called Haunting where I play a dead influencer who can't cross

over to their side until I get it verified. And it's a hybrid scripted podcast with real ghost stories. People call in and leave messages telling their scary ghost stories. So it's fun. And that's it. I don't know. I'll be everywhere you want me to be

and that's what's going on. I think you're doing great. I'll be at South by. Yeah, girl, we're gonna be hanging out. How fun. Mm-hmm. We've heard some of the things Therita said about Doughboys, and we'll talk after the episode. Oh, no, I'm about to get my face smashed.

Oh, boy. That's not what I was implying. Boo. Boo. Boo. Not what I was implying. Wags, what a chaotic start to the tournament, upset with this first matchup.

I can't believe it either, actually. The tournament of Tournament of Champions of Champions continues all month long, continues on the Patreon, continues in the main feed. You can find the full bracket on social media. Enter our challenge to see if you can guess who the victors are in each particular matchup. A lot of people just got a lot wrong right now.

That's true. A lot of people were probably have their brackets busted. I can't believe it. I tried, you guys. I tried. No, but honesty is right now. That's true. A lot of people were probably have their brackets busted. Yeah, this is crazy. I tried, you guys. I tried. No, but honesty is the policy. You did great. Everyone did great. Everyone did what everyone said what was in their heart, and that was the whole point of this exercise.

Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Weiger. Happy eating. -♪ Do you like to watch movies? Do you like to watch independent movies? I'm Casey Donahue and I'm making an independent movie but I need your help to pull it off. Surprise this is a kickstarter video.

I wrote a feature film called My Love for You is Deep but The Devil Loves Me Deeper. It's an ultra low budget, arthouse horror feature film and it will be unlike any other movie you can see in theaters today. We have some great executive producers on board, Nick Weiger and Mike Mitchell, aka the Dough Boys. Thanks, Casey. Hey, buddy, it's the Dough Boys. We're helping to finance Casey's movie and we hope you join us.

That's right, Wags. You know, we've read the script. We love it. We love Casey and we know how talented he is as a director and we know how much he loves horror. So we're really excited to see what happens with this movie and we love that he's making it outside of the Hollywood system. Casey's so talented. He's a big part of Doughboys. We're excited to be a small part of his movie and we hope you join us.

So help fund this film, this independent film. Thank you for your consideration and let's make a movie. That was a HitGum Podcast.