Doughboys - Naturewell with Ben Rodgers
Episode Date: April 2, 2026Ben Rodgers (@benrodgers, Action Boyz) joins the 'boys to talk monkey movies, movie theater etiquette, and rank Mission Impossible movies before a review of Naturewell. Plus another edition o...f Drank or StankWatch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Nature is threatened by a lot of different things simultaneously.
At the center of the Venn diagram,
that connects all of those things,
is animal agriculture.
This was director James Cameron,
explaining to CNN's Fareed Zakaria
the environmentalist motivation for his vegan diet.
After his 1997,
horny, boatpick Titanic,
saw overwhelming boat box office and award season success,
defying skeptics who warned of a boondoggle that would be the cinematic equivalent of the ship itself,
Cameron took a lengthy hiatus from narrative film to focus on oceanic exploration via submersible
and captaining visually stirring documentaries about the deep.
Joining the non-c culinary subclub is in part why the director,
who somehow occupies both the roles of Auteur and Crowd Pleaser,
was inspired to make his next film a full 12 years after Leonardo DiCaprio
painted Kate Winslet like one of his French girls,
2009's Avatar.
Again, overcoming expectations that J.C. was about to fumble up an expensive disaster,
the horny blue sci-fi eco-terrorism epic would again see Cameron acquire the global
box office crown and multiple Oscar nominations.
It would be another 13 years before theater goers were introduced to Jake Sully and
Nateri's growing family, along with Pia Khan, the noble Tolkien, via the 2022 sequel Avatar, The Way of Water.
All told, James Cameron films, including 2025's Avatar Fire and Ash,
occupy three of the top five and four of the top 20 slots for all-time box office.
And while a new strain of global fascism driven by late capitalist avarice,
undoes environmental regulations in favor of scouring the ecosystem like Avatar's villainous Corpo RDA,
an increasing number of ordinary citizens have adopted the plant-based diet favored by the father of Varong,
for health, ethical, and or environmentalist reasons.
So on the menu, an LA vegan juice chain that serves the movers, shakers, and aspiring movers and shakers who abide by what Cameron both practices and preaches.
And to our vegan fans worldwide, I see you.
This week on Doe Boys, Nature Well.
Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm Tiger Weiger along with my co-host.
Ring Blames the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.
What, ring blames?
Ring blames.
Oh, like Bing Rames.
Bing Rames.
Bing Rames, ring blames.
Bing Rames is the voice of Arby's.
I love him.
He's great.
I like Bing Rames as well.
You ever seen his speech
where he gives his Emmy to Jack Lemon?
Oh, no.
It's fucking awesome.
He won an Emmy?
Yeah, he won an Emmy for the 12 Angry Men
like TV movie.
He's really good and he's up there
and he's like crying and he's like,
is Jack Lemon here?
And he comes up and he gives him his Emmy.
He's just like, thank you.
you forever.
Like, it was just like,
ah,
it's a really cool moment.
Man,
very genuine.
Loving the deflection
wherever the spoon man's
ring chime goes off.
You guys should get
Ben Rogers back to re-rank the
my franchise.
The last ranking was three
Mission Impossible's ago.
Cheers from down under.
Scott,
roast at birdfuck.com.
How about that?
Wow.
Well,
you got your wish, Scott.
What a waste of a wish.
Came higher.
Amelia,
did this one come in recently?
Yeah,
came in a few days ago,
so I was like,
I'm going to save it for this.
What a coincidence.
Okay, here's the list of Mission Impossibles.
Mission Impossible, Mission Impossible 2, Mission Impossible 3, Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol,
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation, Mission Impossible,
Fallout, Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1,
although it ended up just being Raqonda's Dead Reckoning.
And then Mission Impossible, the final reckoning, originally Dead Reckoning Part 2.
That's their ranking?
No, that's an order.
That's an order.
Oh, okay, you just read them in order?
Chronological order, yeah.
I would say
for me
And perhaps we can come to a consensus
We got a fucking question
At the beginning of the episode
I don't know
I wasn't ready for this
We did a whole episode
ranking
We did a whole episode of the
But now there's before
7 and 8
Yeah
I would say
I mean I still like
Fallout the best
I would like for me personally
I would probably
Maybe is number one
But four is close for me too
See here's the thing
I would rank one over four
Ghost Protocol
Oh shit
I really like one too
I would do for me
This is my top three, by the way.
I do 6.5.14.
And then after that, I do seven, dead reckoning.
I'm just going to have an explosive nosebleed.
One, four.
The real challenge is how to rank final reckoning versus two and three.
They're pretty low.
They're pretty low for me.
Yeah.
The final reckoning.
Because what was the one before final reckoning?
Dead reckoning.
That was the one, the train one.
Yeah.
The train one had the, and the fucking motorcycle jump.
The biplane was in final.
By plane's in Final Reckoning.
It's got two good set pieces, which is the biplane and the submersible.
I love the biplane stuff.
Yeah, it's cool.
I don't think that goes over well with an audience.
There's a long history of biplane stunts in movies that are completely real and fantastic.
But for some reason, they never seem to translate after like the era of the biplane.
There's that movie with Robert Redford where he's like he's a biplane like stunt.
pilot.
Never seen it.
And it's pretty good.
Yeah.
But there's a death in the movie that, according to William Golding, who wrote the movie,
he was there on the premiere watching the film.
And the audience eating out of the palm of his hand, he's like, we did it.
We made this movie and it's fucking killing.
Everybody loves it.
Then a character dies.
And he realizes he made an enormous mistake.
And he feels the whole audience turn on him.
And he's like, they all hated the movie.
And he's like, and the whole time, I'm like, what was I thinking?
Why did I kill that character?
Like, that was the whole movie.
Was how much they like each other and how charming she is?
I thought, like, it would really hammer the movie home.
And it's like, you know, they lost it.
Food for thought for you.
What do you mean in terms of killing?
Don't kill me off on the podcast.
I'm going to kill you off on the podcast.
Well, they love you.
It's a tough day of news.
Yeah, so this is a very special episode.
No, boys.
We're dealing with Mitch's mortality.
in new ways. It's an existential crisis
for my co-host as we begin
here today talking about nature well.
It'll be fun. It's good that it seems like everything
that could go wrong has gone wrong
for me in life.
Speaking of which, Mitch, our friend
got kidnapped. Oh, right.
In terms of things have gone wrong.
I can't help but think of Susser.
Reheated rivalry finale has been
indefinitely delayed due to the kidnapping of Commissioner Susser
by the villainous Dodiac. So it will happen
sometime in hopefully in April, but we just have it to pray for his safe return.
I was reading about that in the paper.
Let's use our prayers on Susser.
You're going to be fine.
Yeah, you're going to be okay.
I'll be okay.
We had a lot of concerning information during our order at the health food store.
But yeah, Susser is going to be fine.
I mean, the FBI these days is really doing a bang-out job.
I guess Cash Patel is on the case.
Cash Patel's on the case once he stops partying in Italy.
I don't know how to do an impression of Cash Patel besides having my eyes be really big.
He does have the big eyes.
We'll get us back.
Other than looking like you're completely over your head.
Like steal some other guy's medals to put on, right?
Wasn't that some shit he did?
Oh, right.
Yeah.
He partied with a bunch of 20-year-olds.
God bless him.
He uses the, I can do my ranking, by the way.
Okay, great.
I can do this.
I mean, I think we all have the same top four, right?
6, 4, 1. 6, 4.1.
Okay.
Then I'm going to go, uh, hmm.
Well, you really like his haircut and two, right?
I do, I do, I, two is not, I think three is maybe my least favorite.
Two and three are my, are the lower end.
I think those are the bottom two, although Final Reckoning is, I like it.
It's kind of messy and bloated.
I like Final Reckoning more than I like the first reckoning.
That's interesting.
You put eight over seven.
I put eight over seven, 100%.
It seems like they just threw in a bunch of brand new characters in Final Reckoning.
That really threw me off.
There was things that didn't work in Final Reckoning because of the setup in whatever, the first Reckoning, whatever the fuck is called.
Dead Reckoning.
I had to, I started making fun of a guy next to me at Final Reckoning who was doing, he was doing like air.
For the theme?
Yes, he was doing like air drumming during the movie.
And my friend and I were looking over and I'm like, this guy fucking out of his mind.
He's just rocking out.
Everybody doesn't know how to act in movie theaters anymore.
This is the thing that you and I bond on quite a bit.
So I started doing it too.
And then he was like, oh, he got self-conscious because he saw me join in.
Well, he should.
He should be self-conscious of that.
Mitch and I see a lot of movies together, and we have had a couple dustups over.
The crazy thing to me is the Vista Theater having people using their phones or talking,
where I'm just like, you come to this theater if you're like a movie nerd.
Like, who is coming?
We saw like some movie that was like whatever, like 30 or 40 years old, and it was like
some guy in their cell.
And I was like, why are you coming to this?
It just doesn't make any fucking sense.
Like Quentin Tarantino that projects things on film.
And also you're seeing like a 40-year-old.
50-year-old movie? Why the fuck are you doing? Why do you choose to leave to go out?
Yes. And like look at Instagram or whatever. We got to tell the story about when I invited
you to see, I can't remember what movie it was. It was at the New Beverly, which is a different
theater on, like a different part of the city. And Mitch said he was going to come. And then
I'm like sitting down to my seat and he's like, I'm like, on my way. And I'm like, all right,
whatever. And I leave and I got like a voice memo from Mitch that he went to the wrong
theater.
It was the movie.
It was,
was,
you went to the vista and they were showing queer.
And they were showing queer.
And I was like,
my friend left a ticket for me for me,
to the booth guy.
And he was like,
uh,
and I was like,
he left a ticket for me for this movie.
And then I was like,
look at the movie.
I was like,
I don't think the movie is queer,
queer.
So it's like some like closeted guy.
Yeah.
Afraid to buy a ticket.
To like the gay movie.
I'm like,
oh, I think my friend might have got me a ticket.
Oh, he didn't leave it.
I guess I'll have to buy it myself to go in there with my friend.
And then it also made me look equally as homophobic when I was a guy in a Boston Celtics hat and like a whatever jersey.
And then I was realizing my mistake I had made and I was slowly backing away from the theater.
When I could have, I could have just gone and seen the movie or whatever.
I fucked up really bad.
Did you end up seeing it?
I've never seen it.
I'm down to, I was not against seeing queer.
I'm down to see queer.
I should see it.
I liked it.
You like Luca quite a bit.
I've never been one over on Luca as much as you.
But I haven't seen the other, his other.
Was it call me by your, no, no, that's not it.
Call me by your name is one of your name.
It is it.
Challengers.
But I never see Challengers.
I think I've only seen one of his movies and I didn't like it.
What else?
What is he done?
Around, I've seen one Luca movie.
I mean, he had the most recent one, which I didn't see that was supposed, that people said with Julia Roberts.
After the Hunt.
Yeah, people said that wasn't very good.
Home by our name, challengers, queer, bones and all.
bones and all the Timothy
Chalemay
cannibalism movie
oh
2018 Susperia
I was so so on Suspira
I think that's probably
what caused me to
I gotta watch more of his movies
I haven't seen enough
I haven't seen any of his movies
basically
Wait so what would you
You said you'd take
8 over 7
You take Final Reckoning over dead reckoning
Yes
And then the bottom is like
Just
2 and 3 and somewhere
It would be like 8 7
Yeah 2 3 somewhere in there
But where do you put 5
5 is
Man, honestly, eight might beat out five.
I love five.
Which one was five?
Five is Rogue Nation.
Five is the one where there's the syndicate.
Five is a little simpler, though.
You've got to admit that.
Yeah, it is simpler.
It's like a more simple.
Nothing wrong with simple.
Nothing wrong with simple.
There's nothing wrong with simple there.
I just, for me, it's a little bit.
Maybe it's too simple.
I don't know.
I recently watched Tom Cruise on the Today Show with Matt Lauer promoting three,
which where he has the famous.
Was that the couch jump?
No, that's all.
Oprah.
I really need the context that he was promoting three.
He said with Matt Lauer, he's back.
So, but it is shocking that like, even in the interview, Matt Lauer's like, you're in your 40s, you still are a movie star, you've still managed to hang on.
Like, how have you managed to keep, like, the fame for this long?
And it's like, oh, wow, he's still famous.
And Matt Lauer is now long canceled.
Right, yeah.
He outlasted Lauer on his news job.
But this is the interview where he says, like, you're being glibmat.
Ritalin is a street.
drug.
Oh, God.
Yes.
Kind of starts going off on.
That's where this was Brooke Shields, postpartum depression and like doing therapy
and how he thinks that's evil and stuff.
This is when he was really kind of fucking up a lot.
But that got me to watch.
I usually like when he's yelling at interviewers, but that time, that was a rougher one.
But he was yelling at Matt Lauer.
He was.
Yeah.
He does.
He just looks particularly unhinged in that one.
Then that got me to rewatch the Oprah one, which I was like, that was the
same time. This is when he was, um, he had just started publicly dating Katie Holmes. And, um,
and they were like the subject of a lot of paparazzi and stuff. And he's like very in love or
whatever. And that's when he jumps on the couch and stuff on Oprah. But I think that got blown
way out of proportion. If you watch it, the audience is going absolutely crazy. Like they're
completely insane. He's just playing into the audience. It's like the Howard Dean scream.
kind of following the momentum of the crowd.
Yeah.
Isolated.
You just look like a complete maniac.
Yeah.
Right.
Wow.
That's also a crazy time when that was like the biggest thing in the world happening.
Also,
crazy to just hear like a 40-year-old champion movie star because that is just completely
changed.
That's like that,
that,
I feel like all of them are 40 years.
Yeah.
Now it's like hard for like someone who's younger to break in.
Yes.
Unless they're like,
this is the new guy.
Yeah.
Like Glenn Powell is a,
is what,
30 something?
He's a new guy.
Yeah, he's in his mid-30s.
Yeah.
And he's like kind of breaking in.
But like a movie with, I mean, Tom Cruise or Harrison Ford could get a movie greenlight faster than, I'm saying like an 80-year-old man.
90-year-old Indiana Jones seven.
That movie sucked.
I went on a date to that movie.
Dial of Destiny.
Yeah, I went on a date to Dial of Destiny.
And I remember afterwards, I was like, what do you think?
Where are you?
He is?
He meets Archimedes.
I asked afterwards.
I was like, what do you think in the movie?
She's like, I really liked it.
I was like, I don't like you anymore.
We can't see each other anymore.
You want on a date with Fleabag?
I went on a date to see Lost World, the Jurassic Park movie.
Because you were young in.
Afterward.
No, no, this is, or Jurassic World, excuse me.
Okay, okay.
Jurassic World.
The reboot of the franchise.
Right.
And this was maybe like a second date.
We had, like, had dinner.
And then I was like, I'm going to go see that new Jurassic Park movie if you want to come.
And we went.
And afterward, I was like,
yeah it was okay um i like i didn't want to be like that sucked yeah um but then we never talked
again and then i and then i and i was i left a text message it was like hey i just want you to
know like i didn't like that movie just i don't i don't think we're going to go out again or
anything but i did think the movie kind of sucked i just wanted that like out there i don't
Why are you going around?
Tell people I like this movie.
Me and Ellie's first date, we saw a, it was kind of like a what we knew Beverly
situation.
I went to the wrong theater because I fucked up and so we ended up seeing a different movie.
We saw this Nealabute movie.
I don't remember the title of that we both hated, but it was one of those things
was called, I hate women.
Yeah, yeah.
Afterwards, it was like the same sort of thing of just kind of feeling each other.
I was like, I don't know.
I was like, you know, and then there was a point where I don't remember.
who broke through, we were just like, man, that fucking sucked.
And then we were both just, like, bought it over how much we hated the movie.
And it was kind of nice baseline for things moving forward.
You guys still go see movies separately.
Yeah, we do.
No, we saw this together, right?
I took us both through the wrong theater, yeah.
You went to the Tiki Theater?
Fuck, whoops?
How did I do this again?
It's like a taxi driver situation.
I've never seen these movies before.
That's pretty good stuff.
The other thing we should mention, Mitch, is we got some live dates coming up.
Today, as of this episode's released, we will be in Tampa, Florida.
I'm so excited for those live dates.
Whoa!
Whoa!
He's jumping up and down.
Whoa!
Okay.
Okay.
I've never seen you like this before, Mitch.
This is really something new.
You're really excited about these live shows.
I'm really excited about these live shows.
It's like a new chapter for you.
Let's see what the reaction to this is online.
I don't know if people will think I went.
too far in this moment.
And you're open about, like, how much you love these live shows.
Right.
You're not keeping this in.
I don't care if anyone knows it.
I love these live shows.
Because before you were really secretive about how you feel about live shows.
Like, in the past, you've kind of, like, you've kept your private life private.
If you're like, yeah, what's his deal with love?
What's that guy's deal with his feelings on live shows?
The paparazzi's always honing you to get your opinion on live shows.
I love them, Wags.
You know what?
Catch me while you can.
Don't be so pessimistic.
You're doing great. You're thriving.
There could be an empty seat where Spoon Man once sat.
We'll fill it real fast.
Well, Jimmy will still be here.
Yeah, Jimmy will still be there.
She was snoring. Do you hear her snor?
Yeah, she snorted.
She's so cute.
We're going to be in Tampa tonight, as of this episode's release on April 2nd with our buddy John Gabris.
He's going to be there with us.
And then also, at the end, yeah, fellow action boy.
At the end of the month, we will be in Irvine, California on Wednesday, April 29th,
in San Jose, California on Thursday, April 30th.
Tickets still available for that.
It's being built as Spoon Man and Future Spoon Man?
What was, like, if Gabriel, what was?
Seems weird way to put it, but I guess, yeah.
I don't know, are you guys doing some sci-fi, like he's from the future kind of bit?
Yeah, it's kind of like he's like, you know, he's kind of, it's kind of like an understudy,
just sort of like bringing him into the main company.
Wegg's has, like, really been pushing just that he wants the transition to go smoothly,
so, so we're just whatever Wags wants to do to make it just kind of seamless.
Right.
At a certain point, you'll just switch chairs during the show, and we'll see.
if anyone notices.
You have a record schedule
for the day of my funeral,
I saw in the calendar,
which is weird of you
to put the day of my funeral
in the calendar,
that's kind of, you know,
being a little presumptuous.
We, it's a little awkward,
but the, like, Conover's got the studio
our normal record day,
so we got to record after your wake.
Okay, all right, that's fine.
I mean, I think you should be miced up
for the wake or the eulogy
because that could just be an episode.
That could be, like, definitely people
would pay for it on the Patreon.
Yeah, that's, that's definitely paywall content.
Yeah, when you get my eulogy,
you can try to get
You can try to get intros when you're up there, too.
I'm giving a eulogy.
In 1950, man named Handel found him an ice cream parlor.
This eulogy is brought to you by Squarespace.
Tickets at birdfuck.com slash live.
Mitch, I know you got a drop.
I might hit him with a drop.
I got a concept for today's episode.
Doe Boys unplugged.
Mitch, hit us with a drop.
All right, here's a drop.
Something in the drain.
This is...
There is actually a good...
Something in the drain.
Wow.
Hey, Suss, this is actually like...
This actually feels pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Wow.
A Susser, sad hearing Susser's voice.
Yeah, it's rarest to Susser, remember.
It's funny because I told you...
can I say this without?
There was a guy I went to college with,
and he's a nice guy,
so I feel bad.
But, like,
he was always a very confident guy.
And he was a very confident guy.
I think you know,
I think you know this story.
Yeah, I know the story.
And, uh,
and I think about it a lot.
And he was always like,
oh,
you guys would do like doing UCB stuff?
He was like,
always belittling.
And we were like,
yeah,
we do stuff there.
We do like,
we have a sketch group.
And he was like,
and then he eventually was like,
He acted like he was too good to it, and then he came and did a Not Too Shabby.
He had the attitude of like, if these fucking dorks can do it, wait until I crush it.
So Not Too Shabby is like an open mic for sketching characters that was a midnight show on Fridays at the UCB Theater.
Yeah, and so he put a sketch up, and I went and watched it, and it was this thing where he sang a song, and it was, Mr. Sits on Uncomfortable Things.
and then he sat down on a cone and orange coat
and he went,
Ouch!
And it died.
No one laughed.
It died so bad in the theater and I was like watching it.
And I was like smiling evilly in the back because I was like,
see,
it's not that fucking easy,
you fucking asshole.
But after,
I mean,
I was like,
great job, too.
I was like, hey, he did great.
But when we did the unplugged episode,
when Amelia pimped me, the term,
it's maybe an old term,
Amelia pimped me to doing an,
she's snorting again.
These days we say encouraged you to try sex work,
which is a noble profession.
Prompted into sex work.
Amelia prompted me into sex work on that episode
where I had to sing it.
I just did the unplugged drop.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
We put that up on our Instagram
and Rogers texted me and Gaberson
said, hey, your own Mr. Sits on Uncomfortable Things.
It was like I can see what Mr. Sits on Uncomfortable Things influence this one.
It's a great story.
And I was truly embarrassed.
I was like, fuck.
Yeah, it's embarrassing.
It was, it was embarrassing.
It is, look, I admit.
it's a great story, Mitch.
It is pretty passive-aggressive for you to bring up my old character bit in this way.
But you know what?
Since it's back, Mr. Sits on a couple of old things.
Sits on a couple of old things.
Ouch!
It's got legs, man.
I ironically think that's funny.
It's behind you.
Ouch.
His water bottle's gone.
It's like a bunch of...
It comes out of my mouth.
Russian nesting doll
than to you
anyways
God bless him for trying
I shouldn't shit on him
I saw him like recently
and he still
great
he well his
his like
he was like
I heard you got like a little podcast
I was like you still do this
you're like you still can't stop
and I was like what the fuck do you do man
what are you doing?
I mean I don't know
he maybe is very successful
I don't think I am very successful
but I'm saying like he's like
doing great still like
you got some like podcast thing
that's really good
Exactly.
And I was just like, what the fuck?
What do you do?
Some, and I feel like this is particularly a male thing.
Some guys do that.
They're just trying to alpha you at all time.
Just to mean whatever you're doing.
Not a bad guy besides.
I mean, he was like a completely fine guy.
He could also be very insecure.
You can get those podcasts online and stuff, right?
That's what, that is what he was doing.
What's your, who sent that drop in?
Oh, sorry.
But that was the, that's the final track from McDonald's.
final track from Nirvana's final album,
I believe, in your room.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hi, Dofam.
Happy 10 years, made a drop
commemorating the premier
doughboy's unplug episode
during Steak and Shake 10
with Susser and Joy.
Cheers. Thomas, letten tickles
in the Doe score.
Final Nirvana song,
final Mitch episode.
He's got a good,
I hope that I was stretched out longer
than just today.
Drop to birdfuck.com.
Very, very excited to formally introduce
our guests from Action Boys,
Star Trek Lower Decks and Kevin, which is streaming on Prime on April 20th.
Ben Rogers is here. Hi, Ben. Hey, so glad to be back with you guys. A real neighborhood
episode today. It is. It really is. It really is. A good thing. I mean, it's my stomping grounds
and we went across the street, basically. Yeah. I was saying, actually, the place we went to is
is a stalwart of the community here. A big part of the neighborhood.
There are so many. Everything else is kind of has come and gone.
come and gone.
Including a similar concept, there's an assaye place that just, like, just opened up that replaced
the oak berry, like kind of just went in there, like, you know, like a hermit crab and it's
the exact same concept.
But there's a bunch of juice places in the area, and it feels like nature well is the one
constant.
Yeah, they're the captain of the neighborhood.
Right.
Yes.
And, I mean, like, shake shack is come and gone here.
We were just, we were talking about, like, this whole row of like, businesses that have, like,
that have kind of left under, and a lot of them are really bitter about it because they didn't
when they were like, yeah, they jacked my rent up.
My guy, I'm moving.
What do you need?
You want a bowl or something?
The shake shack was like part of a larger.
They closed like five LA stores.
I think there's just one left.
Yeah.
But that was also they just over-expanding.
The Americana one, right?
Is that the only one?
Is that the only one?
That might be the only one that still exists.
Yeah, they went nuts, shake shack.
That was a good shake shack by the way.
And there was a doughboys listener who worked at that shake shack.
I loved that shake-shack.
It was great to have here.
It was great to have.
It didn't fit in with the neighborhood.
It didn't.
I agree with that, but it was great to have here specifically for fat podcasters.
Right.
I wanted to, after we ate McDonald's for lunch, we would go and have dinner at Shake Shack.
I mean, like, I did enjoy that that was like a decent spot to eat.
It's right.
It's attached to another neighborhood staple, the Black Cat bar.
And Black Cat has a little outdoor space.
And then Shake Shack had their own outdoor space.
And they both were playing music at the same time.
So, like, sitting at either.
him outside, you would just feel like you were going
fucking insane. And then people were like
it wasn't, the black, I'm happy that that
stayed open instead of Shake Shack. High turnover.
Yeah. Probably good that the
site of the first
gay rights protest in Los Angeles
stuck around as opposed to the chain restaurant.
Wait, I didn't know that history about it.
There's a historic market and everything right there. Oh, well,
that's good. I'm not, I'm pulling another
queer here. I'm fucking up.
I had no idea.
I've never looked at that plaque before.
You got to look at the plaque.
You got to watch challengers.
Don't worry.
You're going to get it all figured out.
Rogers, you know, you and Mitch talk a lot about movies.
We talk about movies often on our action boys, dough boys,
hybrid chat, the monkey boys.
Yeah, we specifically talk about monkey movies.
Yeah, because we had...
We don't have to switch it up because I don't know if there's going to be another one for a while.
You know, we've...
Shockingly, I'm shocked at how many movies we have.
I've talked about on there that do kind of keep popping up.
And also for what it, for the way, I spat at you, for the way it started with the monkey.
With all five of us seeing the monkey together and having a bad time.
And everyone hating it then still continue on and with monkey movies.
The monkey we really were upset about.
I only stayed through the whole thing probably because I was with you guys.
I might have left.
I was wondering if you were liking it the whole time and then after we,
you like that fucking son.
I was like, oh,
Wigar even hated it.
We had a good dinner afterward.
Even Gaborse,
who was the nicest two movies.
Gabor's probably the least cynical,
and then I'd say probably
second least cynical.
And we,
everyone was just like,
what?
I'm saying, Ben and I are fucking the most cynical?
Probably.
You're going to argue that?
Yes.
But if you,
if you nail Gabers down
and like,
and ask him for an actual number rating,
he will surprisingly give you
an accurate rating.
Wow.
That I agree with almost every time.
That's the shocking, twisted secret to him.
It's pretty good.
And it's like, okay, out of five stars, it's like, one.
So that's not pretty good.
He's happy in stone and enjoying himself.
I mean, that's the way to do it.
We all saw Primate, which was, I don't necessarily think a great movie.
I liked Primate better than the rest of the monkey boys.
I didn't hate it.
I think having a guy in a suit helps the movie.
significantly. It's a little repetitive at certain beats.
Yeah. Right. But yeah, definitely having, I want to edit myself in because the monkey is called
Ben and I just want to like put myself in as an extra that they're talking about.
They're like, Ben's very happy to see you guys.
I'm just being there.
You have a little speaking spell. What's wrong with him?
Ben, angry, monkey kill.
but the movie is mostly
It's a thriller
Similar to
God, remember that movie
Where the people were stuck on the chair lift
And there were wolves
Oh sure
It was from like 2008 or something
I don't know
Yeah, that was a what the fuck was that called?
But they're kind of instead of being on a chairlift
I guess
They're stuck in the pool, yeah
The lift
I think it was something about being frozen
It's called frozen
from 2010.
Yeah.
Which is a bummer because if I think Frozen, I'm thinking of the children's movie.
They really got it taken away from them.
Yeah, I got tied up cut.
But they're all stuck in a pool.
Yeah.
And then we saw afterwards that chimps can swim.
And the idea was like, well.
The rabies, because rabies gives you a fear of water or whatever.
Right.
Like people hate water.
Yeah.
They were like, Ben can't swim.
Let's all go in the pool because they don't know that he has rabies.
But I can't wait for.
somebody to like actually be, I can't wait.
I think it's going to be a sad day when somebody's like, the ship's gone crazy, quick
get in the pool.
And then the chip just swims out.
A dark red pool.
Rips their balls?
I mean, you were saying that it don't want, the movie does kind of de-heighten in a way where
it like, it shows like a guy's face get ripped off or whatever or jaw get ripped off.
And then after that there's like, oh, the deaths after that are like off-scroth.
green, you know what I mean, like, where you're like, you want to see more.
You were saying that you wish it went all out.
Yeah, I wish it got a little, like, crazier.
And I also just, like, I feel like the, you're just setting up the whole time, like, at some point the chimp's going to get in the pool.
He never gets in the fucking pool.
Yeah.
But it didn't bother.
It wasn't terrible.
Yeah.
Like, I think it was like a fun B movie.
And I think as a result of that coming out, the new Beverly did a double feature of monkey shines and primate.
or Link, rather.
Which I was going to, me and Gapers were going to go to,
and then we ended up getting back from our tour in Chicago that morning.
Yes, I think everybody was on board, and I did buy a ticket,
and then I had the humiliating thing where I was like,
I guess I'm just going to go.
So our whole monkey boy chain.
We all abandoned and abandoned it.
And then I went with someone who,
the only other movie I'd seen with them is a movie on Prime called The Watchers,
about an evil dog.
So now I'm like,
we watch a movie about,
like a fuck,
like an experimental dog
and a monster that like goes on a killing spree.
And then a,
this movie link where like a chimp
kills a bunch of people.
And they don't have a chimp.
They have a chimpanzee.
They have an orangutan.
Died to look like a chimp.
Wow.
And then I had to watch a movie for Action Boys
called Man's Best Friend
about a killer dog.
And they were like,
like, do you watch any non-an animals?
I was like, yeah, I do other stuff.
That was, it was also that screening infamous for the guy who was yelling stuff out in the,
no, that happened to the new Beverly a week earlier.
Or was like a guy, like had his phone out and they kicked him out and then he bugged out and
like wouldn't leave and they had to call the police.
And you can watch the video online.
He's your classic kind of like weirdo.
and he's doing this, which I found quite interesting.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
As like, the police are like, can you please leave, sir?
And he's like, will I get my property back?
Just stroking his beard the whole time.
They threw my property.
They're like, we'll get your property back, sir.
Can we please?
And everybody's like, get the fuck out of here.
That's, that's, it's the new Beverly and you're seeing a weird, like, what the fuck are you doing?
Yes.
And you went to that screen with the Baptist guy,
so there was two screens in a row.
Cheering him up.
Right now it's the best place to go to see a movie
because of that incident where now people are like,
I guess it really is you're going to get the police called on you.
Right.
Because was he looking at his, was he looking at his phone?
Yeah, he was like, I was just checking the time on my phone.
I wasn't doing anything.
I think it's perfectly fine to do that.
And everybody's like, you just can't take your phone out.
I actually do think that people that just talk or like openly look at their phone in a crowded theater are like psychopaths.
Yeah, 100%.
I think it is close to psycho behavior.
Well, I remember reading this article.
It was a Canadian study they did on people who's modify their cars to make more noise.
Like people who like either have like loud sound systems or like take out the muffler and have like
a super loud engine.
And their theory was their hypothesis was like, well, these people are all narcissists.
They all have narcissistic personality disorder.
And then when they actually psychologically profiled them, they found like, oh, no, that's not
what's going on.
They're doing a favor.
They're trying to make us all horny.
They're trying to make us all horny.
And so they're kind of like a pied piper, but for like horniness.
It's a community service.
No, they're actually sadists.
And they know that it's not that they're narcissists and are oblivious to how other people feel.
They are sadist and know what they're doing is hurting us.
other people and they're getting joy out of it.
That's fucking insane.
I mean, that makes sense.
Yeah, but I think there are some people who, like, behave like assholes and movie theaters
and part of it's like, I know I'm annoying other people and that makes me happy.
So we need Hannibal, we need the late great Hannibal Lecter to take these people out.
I want to start going to the movies with the late grade Hannibal Lecter.
I want him to start fucking, like, like, I don't know, fucking killing them in the bathroom or over.
Just dextering all these fucking losers.
It's so much of the world now.
We are the minority.
I feel like I've talked about this before on the podcast and people get mad at you for saying like, I tell people to be quiet.
It's like, no, it's not.
People think we're lying.
Yeah.
People think we're lying about the extent we'll go to like ask people to be quiet and stuff.
And it's like, no, this does have.
Because some of the craziest ones I've been to, I'm so glad Gaborz is there with me just to verify that like somebody did have a.
bag of change
like at the movie
like that somebody did have like
like the nois
shit possible
he's never gonna he's not asking anyone to do it
the gabbers will no he'll go on a vacation
with him
yeah
I was at fired ash and it was one of those things
where it's like a guy just had his phone out during
the trailers and then kept it out during the
like as the movie started and I was like okay
I'm not gonna say I was not gonna say anything
because maybe he's just looking at it in the trailer
I have to say something now
but then
Another guy sitting next to him said something.
So I was like, oh, right, well, I didn't even have to worry about the confrontation.
And then once he said it, the guy got scared and put it away.
So it's like, hey, there we go.
All's well that ends up a while.
Yeah.
You should, you could have scared him for life.
I feel like you never would have.
I like scaring teens.
I've scared some teens a few times.
What a surprise.
At that summer camp.
That your mom weren't set.
Scared them out of committing sins, like having sex and things like.
Come on, it's just a hand job.
Nobody's around.
I should open a gas mask.
Ben, you are from Buffalo, which we talked about last time.
How are you feeling about your Buffalo bills?
Well, the big talk right now is Buffalo Sabres.
Oh, interesting.
Okay.
I don't follow the NHL.
So the bills everybody's happy about because for the last six years or so, they've been a competitive football.
A horrible end to this.
I mean, even the day it happened, I was like, did I text you the next day?
Yeah.
Maybe it was the next day that I texted you because I was like, I don't even, it's like one of those things where you're just like, I don't even want to talk about it.
I mean, that is what happens usually.
It's same for me.
It was a tough football season in general.
But like the, I'm still so scarred from how poor they were for most of my life.
And then losing all those Super Bowls, obviously.
That like any kind of being in the mix.
I remember maybe three or four years ago,
they released the TV listings.
And like a lot of people picked the bills to win the Super Bowl
and they had a lot of nationally televised games.
And Sean Clements was like,
are you worried about all this hype?
And I was like, no, I'm happy I can watch the games.
They're actually deemed interesting enough to watch.
But the Sabres are also a cursed franchise that for the last four,
they have the longest streak of missing the playoffs of any of any
team. But this year, they're actually, as we record this, they're at the top of the Atlantic
division or, and like I think second in the Eastern Conference. So people are really excited
about that. And it's gotten me really into hockey. There you go. I'm about to watch
a Sabres game. I'm going to go to Vegas and watch a game. Hopefully I don't fucking lose it.
That rules. Yeah. I've never, I haven't seen a, is it the night. What are they the Knights?
The Golden Knights? The Golden Knights.
The Golden Knights, yeah.
I bet it'd be a fun experience seeing hockey in Vegas.
Hockey, a great sport to go see.
Yeah.
Hockey, the professional sport I probably follow.
With basketball, baseball, and football.
Baseball now third on my list.
Hockey is fourth.
I watch hockey like the least.
But also, I think more fun going to a hockey game than a baseball game.
Like the idea of going to Dodger Stadium.
I love going to Dodger Stadium.
I love Dodger Stadium.
It's just as a fucking you're sitting in the sun.
I like the cold, give me a cold rink in the dark.
I mean, first game I ever went to was a hockey game, a professional sporting event.
It was the Sabres and the North Stars before they moved to Dallas.
The Sabers lost, and I remember being shocked.
Because I didn't even understand that hockey only had three periods, which is unusual.
I was like, well, we got one more quarter, right?
My dad was like, no, the game's over.
I remember, like, I was like at games that Larry Bird played in and then like,
just it makes me sad that I was just like,
Kyle,
hot dog and like not giving a shit about like when I was like, man,
like Larry Bird was playing and you just weren't paying attention to any of it.
You know what I mean?
This was my first ever game doing it.
And my dad took me,
it was like,
you'd never forget that where it's like,
yeah,
I was probably more interested in the cotton candy and saber tooth,
the mascot.
Yes,
but my dad thought somebody was in her seats.
So he's like,
pissed off.
And he's like,
hey,
I think you're in our seats.
and maybe being a little too aggressive about it
and then they turned around and they were like
they were like handicapped or like
not like they were like
they were in some
like a special access section
and they didn't know how to respond to him
and then also and then the
the the usher comes down and my dad was wrong
they were in the right seats
and it couldn't have been
I couldn't have looked worse
for it and like luckily I think he was like so like
okay we gotta go down here
and like couldn't have been
fucking like like
the worst possible
where somebody turns around and they like
look with like the innocence of a child
at like this fucking big hulking guy
telling him to move
great experience
but yes everybody's very excited
about the the sabers there
You're going to a, you're going to a, you're going to Sabres game in Vegas.
Like what?
Are you someone who grabs a bite to eat at a ballpark?
Don't make the same mistake your dad did at the game, by the way.
You know, I'll try.
It depends.
I'm kind of more interested in what they have rather than getting, I got to be pretty hungry to get something.
But like, yeah, I'll see what the options are.
I feel like you're not someone who, like, indulges in, like, trashy food all that often.
So you seem like a pretty clean year.
It also seems like Vegas is a nightmare for you if I had a guest.
Yes, I don't like Vegas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you can do it the Wiggs way, which is Wiggs, the Vegas Wigre way is pretty good.
Yeah, you just go, I mean, go to good restaurants, you enjoy the pool if you're a pool person.
And then, you know, try it, try it.
If you're going to gamble, give yourself a hard limit.
But like, I also just do things like self-care, you know, like, okay, I'll get a manny petty.
I'll get a haircut.
You get a haircut.
Oh, wow.
You're barbers in Vegas?
I do, I remember listening to like an early, like early in the era of podcasting.
It was like a radio lab or something where they were like, if you have any depression issues whatsoever,
you should stay out of Vegas with like every fiber of your being of like, like, you're going to like blow your fucking head off.
And it did like scare me.
I was like, oh, yeah, I do kind of always feel bad there.
Yeah, I never like it.
This is the last episode with me or me.
Mitch.
I go.
The sabers lose.
I'm fucking real pissed off about it.
We already mentioned Gabris, but I have been in Vegas with Gabris, and Gabris is like
a pig and shit.
Yes.
So like, that's fun vibes too.
He and I were, we're, um, it was Gabris and I and Joe Spellman at a, uh, craps table.
And I was playing with them.
And it was, um, uh, I think this was like Sean Clement's, like Bachelor,
party. So they're like the the he wanted to go there because of the, um, the summer league and because
he's a huge NBA fan. Um, so we went there for summer league stuff and they're like, we were all going to a
game. And so we were at the craps. I, like, wanted to check out a pool and, and Joe and Gaborz came
with me. And they had a little craps table like off to the side of the pool. And they wanted to play a
couple, a couple rounds. So we, we get a couple rolls in there and they start winning. And I'm like, guys, I think
we got to go.
And they're like, no, we're not going.
We're winning.
And so then I went, I, like, left.
I went to the game and they showed up, like, fucking wasted.
They're like, we won!
And they, like, had just been there all day, like, crushing.
And, like, it's like the most Gabris's ever won in Vegas was at that time.
And he and he and this, and they're both, like, they were both saying stuff like,
they're both, like, from the tri-state area.
and they both have like accents or whatever
and like both like overweight dudes
like at the Crabbs thing
that just started going like Jambi
like shit like that
Yankees
I told Gaborson that I saw his like white trash initiate
when we took him to
what was the what was the place that uh the Foxwoods
Foxwoods like after the show
like the look in his eyes changed
where I was like he looks dead behind his eyes
he just like went to a black deck table
and he was thrilled.
He was having a blast.
He switches into a different person that is still equally as sharp and, like, brutal,
where, like, they, we were winning a lot at this table that I went with,
and then they changed dealers.
And he's like, yeah, see, go stare at a wall or wherever you're going to go.
He's using his powers for evil.
You can see the trajectory if he, like, just became a gambling guy.
And he wasn't wrong where it's like,
they did send the cooler over and the guy did stare at the fucking wall and just like waited.
We went to Vegas a couple times together.
Yes.
I think you got the, you went to Mandalay Bay and just stayed in the room where the shooter was.
He's just in there all day.
Yeah, we've been a couple times.
I mean, like the time I remember is the time we went for Paul Rust, a bachelor party, another
another sort of Vegasy thing, and I got motion sickness on the party bus.
The party bus on the way to Vegas, Weigard got motion sickness on.
It was kind of the perfect, uh, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was,
and the bus broke down and cops had to drive us, uh, the rest of the way.
It was very strange.
Uh, my friend Chris Coole got married in Vegas, and he, um, he had a party bus that, like,
took us, like, like, after the ceremony, it was really fun, a bus pulled up, and we all
got in, we're going to, like, old Vegas to go to a couple of casinos and they had a, Elvis in person
Sienator singing songs, and he had a, um, he had a disc man.
Like, they were definitely outdated.
I mean, he got married a while ago, but it's still, everybody had, like, iPods and stuff.
And it was skipping every time they, so he's like, wow, I was meant, say, so, so, so.
And, like, it got completely fucked up.
So he had to kind of bail.
And then he was just vamping.
And it was like, the fall.
And he was like, it was like, November.
He's like, uh, so how's everybody's Halloween?
We've been to Vegas for Halloween.
And afterward, Kula tipped him and was like,
thanks so much, this is for an iPad.
For an iPod.
You mentioned Clemdog and NBA Summer League, which is,
someone walked by?
No, I was just going to say, you had a Vegas wedding.
We did it.
Natalie and I eloped.
We got married in Vegas, yeah.
That was just the two of us.
No Elvis or anybody?
He was dressed as Elvis.
No, we had like a guy.
We had like a radio guy
It was one of those things where he was just kind of
He was just kind of...
I'm mad.
It was both of the loves fun.
Bubba was like, I'll marry you,
but you had to fuck my wife first.
Deal.
Pre-manacca.
It was a...
You already said?
I know, right?
How about that?
It's a term that's in the zeit guys.
We said it recently on an episode
and everyone thought it was weird for saying it.
It's a real thing.
Yeah, it's real.
Yeah, come on.
You've never seen Braveheart?
Yeah, it's a bit of Braveheart thing.
The Dodiac brought it up as a rule for us during the...
This is as embarrassing as my freestyle spoon opening.
But the Dodiac made a rule so that we...
Right.
I have to eat Wags food first.
Yes.
I have to eat his food first.
For the tournament only, but the tournament's...
The tournament's, you know, on hiatus.
On hiatus.
I was in...
So, yeah, we got married in.
There was, like, the guy who married us was like a...
just at the little chapel on the West.
And he was like, he was like, I'm just going to get, go ahead and I'm, I'm going to start
the ceremony.
And then as soon as he started the ceremony was like, we are gathered here today.
He just turned into fucking radio man and did this like, like, trained radio voice.
Yeah.
Welcome to the wedding, phone.
And it was literally just me and Natalie and this guy in this place.
He's like saying this to nobody, but, you know, whatever, the muscle memory for.
Yeah.
God bless him.
Oh, yeah, let's talk about Kevin a little bit.
Kevin, an animated show, Joe Wenger, Aubrey Plaza,
an incredible cast in this, including both of you
are on the show. Mitch plays
Kevin's former owner.
Kevin's a cat and
Jason Swartzman plays Kevin.
Jason Swartzman plays Kevin.
It's got a great cast.
We are kind of in it
like a little bit.
Yeah, we're kind of in a little bit.
I mean, it is that funny thing where it's like me
and Rogers and then like,
Whoopi Goldberg and John Waters.
I was in a waiting room and it was just me
because I had to zoom in for one.
me and John Waters.
I was like, hey, John.
He's like, hello.
I'm like, yeah.
I shouldn't be in here with this guy.
I'm happy to have a line here there.
I'm an old dog.
That's a dream.
Yeah.
You play an ant and something?
Yeah, there's an episode where Mitch and I play a little ants.
And there's like a leader ant and a beta ant.
And I remember who's playing what, but it was a lot of fun.
Yeah, because I never do this sort of thing.
My guess is I am the beta ant is my guess, but.
It might be, yeah.
I don't know.
That's real alpha ant shit.
Yeah, maybe.
I don't know.
Who knows?
You know, it's funny, Kevin was a COVID when I first did the pilot presentation or whatever.
It was during COVID.
It was the same place I just recorded ADR for Tomorrow War.
Wow.
So everything takes that long.
Yeah.
And then I, and then like, it was a couple months later or whatever.
This is a specifically crazy amount of limbo of like how long the process of this actually took.
So it's exciting to finally air.
And it looks good and is funny.
It's such a funny thing.
You're like, why does it take so long to get something?
The show is great from what I've seen of it.
Everything takes too long.
That's fucked up.
But did you ever, did you do any other, did you do work in, uh, during, remember they
were trying to like make people like, like do commercials in their house with Zoom?
Like Zoom?
I did, uh, I was on another cartoon, uh, that I really liked, um, called, uh, 10 year old Tom.
and we recorded a little bit before the pandemic,
and then we had to continue through the pandemic
where it was really stressful
because everybody was like in,
nobody was used to like home setups yet
if you weren't like a professional voiceover person.
Sure, yeah.
That's when we were, we figured that out.
Yeah, on the fly.
It took some time.
Yeah, I mean, my whole home computer system
was like already embarrassing,
where I was like kind of getting by using an iPad
had a lot.
And I, like, it really forced me to do a lot of things.
But the, we were zooming on 10-year-old Tom with, like, one of the actors, I can't
remember his name.
He's been on your show before.
Andre, I feel like his name was.
Andre Highland?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Under is great.
And he was, Andre Highland.
Yeah.
He was, I think, in New Zealand.
And so, like, he was in New Zealand.
I was in, like, like, a towel-filled back room of my house.
house and then
all the other actors
were everybody and the
show creator was like
is there a lag or something
and one of the edges of it was like
he's halfway around the world man
we did
that was my one kind of
COVID experience and then I did that
I did a day on that
movie Emily the criminal
where I'm in that movie
for about 30 seconds
and that was fun because
I was happy
to still get some job where the, like, you had to get tested.
And I was like, oh, this will be a specific memory of this time that hopefully we'll
never have to live through again.
Right.
Like, you had to go somewhere to get tested, like, the day early or, like, show up.
Um, they had to test you.
Then you had to go away to, like, a holding area for four hours.
And then just so I could, um, you know, pretend to do coke in a bathroom and get edited out
of the movie.
That was, I, I did my only commercial ever, a progressive commercial.
And it was me and this guy, Neil Barton, whose Neil was like 60.
And he doesn't look at it.
He looks, he looks much younger, but he's a great guy.
And he's like, I live at home with my mom and she's a hundred years old.
And I was like, Jesus, I was like, we should.
And it was one of those things early on in pandemic where they were just like,
all right, we just took your temperature with the gun.
You don't have a temperature.
That's like all they were doing.
And then you were just like in a hot, like,
The house that they used for so many commercials, and it was, like, a packed space.
And me and Neil, like, didn't have, like, they were like, uh, remove your face mask.
We're going to see how you look.
And it's just like, this is fucking insane.
I mean, obviously, things changed after that.
This is where you played NFL line judges, was it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or the guys hold the chains.
I'm not sure what that position is called.
Allianceman.
Lyonsman, okay.
Oh, wait, is that, yard marker.
Yard marker.
And then you had a, and, and like, it was like Mark and Marcus, right?
something like that.
Yeah, Mark and Marcus.
Okay, got it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mark and Marcus.
Yeah, I'll never forget.
Mark and Marcus.
I forgot about the era of just, like,
checking temperatures with a gun.
Oh, yeah.
I had a bandana for a long time.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I wore forever.
Yeah, I was loving the band.
I went full, like, Bogdanovich for a while afterward,
where I, like, just kind of,
even when it got debunked as stopping anything,
like, two weeks into the pandemic,
I still, like, kind of wore mine around.
I went full, like, apocalyptic,
stopped getting haircuts, stopped shaving,
had a bandana on most of the time.
They made fun of me because I could wear in the gator,
but I still just, I just, I wore it forever.
I used to, like, I didn't have a bandana,
but I had like a Miami Heat,
Dwayne Wade shirtsy that I, like,
fashioned into a T-shirt mask and I'd wear that up.
But I'd, like, go outside and be walking around.
I'm just, like, outdoors and I'm wearing this fucking t-shirt over my face
thinking that was, like, the thing you had to do.
And obviously there was no point.
By the way, you know who directed those commercials?
Jared Hess, the Minecraft movie director.
That's right, in Napoleon Dynamite.
How about that?
Yeah.
He was great.
No one got COVID either.
It was, it was a credit to him.
So yeah, Kevin's been brewing since then.
Since the COVID days.
Which is crazy.
And it's very funny.
Yeah.
I'm excited to see it.
Yeah, me too.
And I hope it continues.
So please watch so it gets a season two, so we can all get jobs.
Hell yeah.
It's on prime.
420, so there you go. Yeah, for all
you fucking hopped up weed
heads, you can see us be
talking animals. Yeah, buddy.
Hell yeah.
I'm I'm ironically into that.
I mean, specifically a show
for you, basically. Oh, yeah, sounds like it was made for
me. Me and Jimmy are going to get stoned and watch it.
Yeah, it's fun. It's a
it's like a workplace comedy at a
animal rescue.
Hell yeah. Gillo Zeri runs the
animal rescue. Very funny in it.
Yeah. Let's talk a
bit about juice. Now, like, you know, you talked about, like, not wanting to be, like,
the animal attack movie fan, but, like, you kind of, like, ended up being in that box.
We had you on for Robex previously. So now I think you're kind of in a consecutive sort of, like,
you're the judge. And this is your, yes, this is your choice. I'm not, uh, no, yeah. Like, yeah,
like, because I, the last time I was on Doe Boys, which it's like being on the local news or
something where you're, like, all these fucking freaks come out of the woodwork and you're like,
I saw you on Doe Boys. Like, good job. And also, as funny as being on the local news.
Same difference.
People were like, like, what the fuck?
You're supposed to do something that kills them.
I'm like, what?
But like, I didn't pick robots.
Like, people get off on seeing you guys eat like fucking greasy burgers and shit.
Yeah, and this is...
Are you happy?
This is the six podcast meal we've had this week, the six meal we've had for content.
So we reached a point, you were like, I asked you.
I was like, do you want to eat something garbage?
And you're like, I really don't give a shit.
So we were just like, you know, let's give ourselves a breather.
So this was our choice.
If you're going to be mad at anyone,
for not eating garbage.
We're mad at the.
But now I'm the juice guy.
Now you're the juice guy.
And I am for Buffalo.
O.J. Simpson was a big part of the Bill's franchise.
I didn't make that connection.
So, yes,
I'm the juice guy.
How do you feel about, like, O.J.
Like, do you have, at all, any conflicted feelings?
Would you wear a Simpson, like, or would you get a Simpson jersey?
You're asking if you were an O.J. Simpson jersey?
I don't think.
I didn't think.
You couldn't even do it with a straight face.
You couldn't even ask you.
What are your feelings about O.J.?
You tried to say, I was like, well, you know, he got a fairer shot in trial and the justice system works.
Yeah.
Ran a lot of yards.
His numbers retired at the stadium.
Yeah, like, I don't know.
I wouldn't expect you to wear a jersey, but I would like, I loved O.J.
as a boy.
I thought he was so funny in the naked gun movies.
He's great in naked gun.
Yeah.
You know, I could, I could, well, chastise him for, you know, he shouldn't have done.
Should have done that stuff.
He should have done that stuff.
He made some bad choices.
He shouldn't have stolen that memorabilia.
What was he thinking?
They shouldn't have cast him in the Frogman pilot.
I'll have him put a lot of bad ideas in his head.
As a guy who action movies are kind of, are you ready butter?
He didn't teach me and why we heard about, because of O'Dia, we heard about the Brentwood hello, which we like to make jokes about.
That was like, that was handy to know.
Is that when someone sneaks into your bed and starts blowing you before you wake up?
Do you know of this?
No.
No.
That was like all the, like, when they were, when like all the Brentwood stuff exploded, it was.
like people are wife swapping and shit and like then there's a thing called like the or is it like
the Brentwood good morning and they like they oh the Brentwood good morning well that everybody
knows yeah somebody comes in your bed and blows you yeah while they're asleep right that was
what it was yeah it's something like that they put a cup of coffee down next to the bed you fuck
suck your dick as an as an action movie guy is is it true or is it just like sort of like
apocryphal that O.J. Simpson
was originally going to be the Terminator.
Apocryphal, according to James Cameron.
Got it. He said he was never in the running.
Like, maybe somebody in the studio
suggested him to, like,
put it out there, but he claims
he never talked to him. They just thought it would, so
whoever made that up thought it would be like, hey,
this is kind of fun to make him like a killer
robot. Yeah, and I believe
Cameron. I don't think there's a world where it's
like, hey, let's
we'll get our lead.
he'll he'll be a likable black guy.
Everybody knows from athletics and we'll make him a unstoppable killer.
I don't buy the optics of that, of anybody going along with that in 1981 or whatever.
I don't think that's going to happen.
And why would he like, like, because it was a thing, time before the incident and when people were casting him in a lot of stuff.
So why would he lie if it hadn't been, you know.
Yeah.
So I do think that's bullshit.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah.
I believe him.
Yeah.
Wait, you're thinking, I'm confused.
used here. So James Cameron, like, is denying the, the rumor that O.J. Simpson was supposed to be
the Terminator. If you go to, um, like the IMDB page of The Terminator, it'll be like,
O.J. Simpson was up for the role. And like, isn't that crazy, an actual killer almost
played the Terminator? Supposedly actual killer. It's supposed to, I was going to say. Alleged.
Alleged. Actually, found not guilty.
You're finding out what I think about O.J. Acquitted. Acquitted.
I take off my sweatshirt and I have an OJ jersey on.
Acused murderer.
I remember my bus.
I was in seventh grade, I believe, and we were on a field trip, and the verdict came in,
and it was not guilty in the bus cheered.
Ms. Shees.
Jerome Bettis.
Was it with you guys on the field trip.
He's cheering with us.
Shears yelled at all of us.
She's like, that's some people's live.
She yelled at like the seventh grade class.
like, come on, lady.
Yeah, I remember all of us, like our whole class cheer.
They brought the, they wheeled the TV into the cafeteria.
Which they shouldn't have done.
No, it's clearly because the teachers wanted to fucking see it.
Right.
I would, I would, the class I was in, the teacher was like, we're not going to, like, we know
it's happening.
We're not going to worry about it right now.
You were teaching at this point in your life.
Yeah, yeah.
I was subbing.
And, but there was, there was a girl who, like, had stuck in some little headphones and was, like,
listening to the radio.
And at a certain point, like, the middle of class, she's,
goes, he's innocent.
Oh, wow.
Stir in the pot.
That's like Mitch at the live show.
Oh, shit.
God, that guy's so pumped for these live shows coming out.
I'm going to try to do it again, and I think that there's possibly.
It gets doctor orders.
Whatever you do on the recording, Mitch, don't do the cabbage patch or fucking mix of the pot.
Does that have a name?
What is that thing?
Yeah, I think it is either.
I think it maybe is a cabbage patch.
Maybe that's it.
By the way, I looked it up.
Brentwood Hello is a phrase from Faye Resnick's 1994 tell-all book about Nicole Brown
Simpson,
implying a scandalous or intimate greeting among the affluent societal circle in Brentwood,
Los Angeles.
And then there was like a YouTube video where it came or.
So it is just that you...
And there's a you porn video that, like, bully gets into it.
You do sneak in and...
You sneak in and suck, like, you suck them off before, like, you start sucking them off as they wake up.
You get into that sort of swinger stuff.
It feels like naturally as you just accumulate so much wealth.
And it's just like, well, what's new experiences are there?
You're like, I guess I'll just break into my neighbor's house and suck them all.
Money can buy me everything else except that.
Maybe I'll try one tonight.
On who?
No, I don't know.
There's a, there's a, there's a Wally and Armored me in my house.
But Mitch gets blown away.
We make all these, like, health claims about his life, but he dies sneaking into somebody's house to blow.
Just suck him off.
No, no, no, no.
I was just doing a Brentwood up.
Sought off shot him to the torso.
Are you taking a red eye tonight?
Oh, I am taking a red eye.
You're a plane seat neighbor?
Lucky pilot.
Let me give you a Brentwood goodbye.
Blows his cock off.
You're breaking a fucking Charles Bronson's house.
Take the wrong house to break.
Try to give Charles Bronson a friend with a low.
Hey, what are you doing there?
The wrong cock, Mick.
He is the right cock.
Cox the trigger.
Wait, so we're like, because you're, but you're not a juice guy.
You're not someone who's like regularly getting juice.
I feel like you've been to nature well, but it's not like a...
I'm going to nature well here and there.
Here's one great thing about nature well.
It's open late.
It's open to 1130, which we discovered.
And that's...
So every once in a while, if you're in a pinch and you, like, feel like you need, like, real, like, food of some kind.
Like, sometimes a nice juice is all that's available.
You're happy to have it.
It's giving me life after the week that we've had.
I mean, it's been a bad, like, three weeks for us.
Well, yeah.
It gets worse.
We, we, you know, we're kind of stacking records.
recorded our episode that was out last week with our buddy Brian Quinnby yesterday and we ate
the habit and that just like or Habit Burger I guess is called now and that like made me feel like
shit immediately and then later like when I got home I was like that's rough feel like shit yeah yeah
so this is this is nice this is rejuvenating yeah we got some juices we got some I got some
I got a celery juice I've been drinking uh Amelia gave me the number one clown ass dad
coozy um I got my tiger coozy around my carrot juice which is a carrot
Palooza, carrot, ginger.
Oh, boy.
Red and green, apple, and lemon.
Part of it is obscured by a date that's written on it, but this was made, I guess, today.
Yeah, 315.
How about that?
Well, the 12th, so I guess that's a thing.
So mine's good for a couple days?
Oh, that's what it is.
It's interesting.
Sell by date.
315.
Is that the Iids of March?
Yes.
Yes, it is, yeah.
Okay, thank God.
We're drinking it now.
Celery juice, of course,
has some lore on our podcast because
Sylvester Stallone
loves celery juice enough
where he had some shady character on
like I think on Instagram on his Instagram page
and he was like so you've been telling me
people have been drinking celery juice he basically does
an infomercial for celery juice
where he's like making wild claims about how it can heal
everything and he's got like an actual
con man of the sort
that like seems like it would be on an episode of The Simpsons
where he like really looks like he just knocked on Stallone's door
and like danced and grooved enough
where he's like, hey, making some good points.
This guy's like, my source of the originator says
that if you have celery juice every day,
he thinks it will like, he'll like you'll be able to see
if you're blind and stuff.
Wow.
So we all got into celery juice for a while.
It worked on us basically.
And did you feel healthier drinking celery?
juice? No, I think Gabor still drinks it.
He has, he starts his morning.
He actually requested it for us when we were on tour.
Yeah, he wanted celery juice. He wanted celery juice.
Yeah, he does it in the morning.
He requested celery juice and then something that was not good for you.
There was, like, a celery juice and then something and then another thing that was not great.
Like, it was like liquid maple syrup.
Yes, it was.
It was a combo.
Yeah, it was Aunt Jemima Brain maple syrup.
Guess for some powdered cocaine.
All right, dude.
Fuck,
all right.
You wanted powder?
We'll see what I can do.
We only got the fucking brick.
So much of what I felt like what he put on the shopping,
we actually might be able to find it.
But so much of what he put on the shopping list was about him shitting.
It was like,
it was like,
it was just basically a thing to like get him to shit.
I'll defend him there because I think that a,
I'm not,
I'm not going against.
No, I'm just saying, like, I think
prioritize, I think of, when I started thinking of my life more as
Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and I was like, you know what?
I feel better when I have a good bowel movement and like, you know, like,
I will, I will adjust my schedule and
the kinds of food I eat to like ensure that sort of thing happens in a timely fashion.
Sure, I'm not just like left in the lurch and like, you know,
thankfully, rarely in the middle of a doughboys record.
I'm like, oh shit, I have to run out of here to like fucking shit because I'm, I'm
going to shit my pants. And so like rarely. Rarely. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to say never.
I mean, you want to get that up to never. Yeah, you want to get that ideally. That's the dream.
The dream is to get that up to never. The fact that it is rarely is a little alarming. Yeah.
I got it. And you know what? It wasn't, it wasn't anything that unhealthy. It was it was it was celery juice, cold brew, alt milk. And then N.A. Bebs.
I mean, I could have told like, yeah, I've, Gibrous and I are now like family common law like a couple.
at this point where like, and we've done enough, like,
recordings out where I'm like, yeah, he,
I don't think it's to initiate, like, bowel movements
as just part of his routine.
Routine. Well, you guys, you guys had a, uh, uh,
what's it called a retreat.
Yeah, we'll, we'll try to, like, go, like, rent Airbnb
and then try to, like, record as many episodes as possible.
I can't think of anything you would like less than that, I feel like,
like for us to do a dough boy's retreat.
See, I think I could see him getting,
into like banking episodes and like the the scheduling involved.
No, from a logistical standpoint, that would be great.
Emma would be into that too because we're like, oh, we can go, we go to a little getaway
and get like 12 episodes and five days.
I feel like the mental taxing, like part of it wouldn't feel that bad if you're like,
okay, for the next five days, this is all we're doing.
Right.
I'm into that.
Do boys retreat?
Let's make it happen.
It's fun.
You guys will get into it.
Make it local.
We'll drive up.
Hell yeah.
I love it.
Oh, hi or something.
I'll swing by.
Not to record just to like watch a movie after when you're coming down.
There was a while where, so Ryan Stang would be late to episodes and he would text walking up to our text thread.
Just to let him know he's on his way.
And then there was a while where Gabris would text wiping up as a response that he was like busy taking a shit.
Yeah.
And that was his, which he still, Steyer no longer does walking up, but Gaborst will
frequently be like wiping up.
I think I've seen video of Gaboris on the toilet with his shirt off more than I've
ever seen like my dad on the toilet with his shirt off.
It's probably close.
I think it's, it's, it's, he sends those videos all the time.
He sends them quite a bit.
I'll fly to say it's definitely a case for me because I've never seen my dad on the
toilet with his shirt off.
It's a pretty specific thing.
Were you saying?
With your shirt on, even?
Like, how often have you seen your dad on the toilet?
With his shirt off?
Shirt on or off?
Just like, how many times have you seen your dad on the toilet?
My, uh, I saw my dad on a toilet a lot.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, interesting.
I would see him, like, uh, I feel like I would see him.
There was one bathroom in my house.
That's the thing is, like, there might be some situation where someone's in the shower
and someone really has to take a shit or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no, I think my dad, like, didn't give a shit about the door being open or not.
Yeah, yeah.
But still, like, I don't think I saw him taking a shit that often.
We probably got to cut this.
And also, I maybe have just told it before, but my friend, one of the two foes came over the house and came off the stairs.
And my mom was naked on the toilet just petting my cat, Buster.
Maybe we can keep that in.
It's insane.
Wait, who saw it?
My friend, like, my good, my childhood friend, like, was like, so he saw that?
Did your mom see him?
Did your mom react?
I have no idea.
Wow.
I never, I didn't, I just was laughing after I heard.
She's just finding out through this.
You ever tell her?
I do love that you've included the name of the cat, too.
That's the important detail we need to know.
And it was Buster and you know how Buster is to make things extra weird.
Yeah, we were very much in a household of, uh, this might be too much information.
I think you've talked about it on Action Boy, but I saw my dad naked quite a bit.
and I know that your your father was well endowed.
You know, I brought that up one time on the show,
and it's kind of taken on a life of visiting.
Stanger and Gabris loved to bring it up.
But there is like, yeah, I think there's a generational thing of just like.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, yes.
Yeah.
For my dad, I mean, I was always impressed when I saw my dad walking around.
I definitely.
And he was very openly, like, is this weird to say,
did it, would you ever, like, my dad would finish a shower and I'd get him by
behind him and he'd leave. Did you, did anyone do that sort of? Is that weird? No, I mean, like, we, we had, we had one shower for a long time and there was, we had, we had one shower in my house. Yeah, so like, like, yeah, it was, it was, it was specifically though my dad, like, and I had, like, certainly when I was very little, I, I showered with my dad. I've seen my dad naked and you know, he's doing all right. But also, you are, you are, you are, you're seeing a kid. When you see your, your dad's adult dick as a, as a six-year-old boy, you're like, my dad has the biggest dick in the world. It's a common phenomenon. Exactly.
And it's kind of like good to have that just drilled into your brain.
And it's a good thing for your dad's out there.
You might want to like imprint that on your kid that, you know, you do.
You are the alpha, the household.
Right.
Chub up a little bit and then just like accidentally leave the door unlocked while you're taking a piss.
Oh, no.
Go to the gas station, get one of those extends pills.
You really load up.
Maybe, I don't know, drink a lot of water or whatever.
It's also sad to me to think of like if I had a son.
And then he saw it and just be like, hmm.
Just be like, I don't know.
He kicks your ass like the next day.
So it never gets hair?
Hmm, all right.
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I will say this about nature well.
They're so nice there.
I really like being inside.
It's very hospitable.
It has like a good feeling like you're in the pliables.
It's the same sort of thing.
It kind of feels, even though it's a chain, it feels neighborhood-y.
Their website, I don't know if either you all have looked at it is fucking horrible.
Yeah, no, I tried to look at the menu earlier and I was like, oh, this sucks.
It's like a thing that, like, you would see on like a Geo Cities page.
in like, you know, 1999, where we'll, like, change your cursor.
And it does kind of feel like that inside as well.
In a way that I'm almost charmed by where there seems to be like, every time I've gone in,
they're like, then there's a menu over there too.
And you're kind of confused as to like what is in anything or where anything is.
But in a way that I find charming.
No, because like some menu items, it's like they're not on the website.
They're not on the actual menu.
It's just like a chalkboard special.
And it's the only way you'd ever know that it existed or what's inside of it.
I went, Armand Whitesman took me to this.
By the way, Napa Boys out on 420 as well.
Oh, that's right.
Okay.
What a, what, movie?
Yeah, sorry to be plugging myself.
420, the best day of the year.
There you go.
Great, great review in the New York Times.
I'm insane.
Very strange.
Yeah, yeah.
Critics pick New York Times.
And I was shocked.
I loved that.
And they got it, too.
They, like, actually did get it.
420, Harris Whittles' birthdays, which is very funny.
That's a power.
but like in 2007, I feel like I went with Armin to get, or like 2008, like very early on,
went to get a coconut kale smoothie, which is one of the orders that said, put them on the map.
Yes, and I believe it.
I do believe.
It's a very good, but I'm saying like that, when I went there, I'm like, they never updated their web.
Like, I feel like it's been the same website and that same store.
The store hasn't changed in like almost 20 years or whatever at this point.
There are locations now in downtown and Atwater, so it's expanded a little bit.
But yes, I believe that the one on Sunset Boulevard, Byer Studio, is the original.
Yeah, and I'm saying like it looks like it did when I went in there however many years ago.
But here's the thing.
We were, and I know we mentioned this earlier, there's been so much turnover in the neighborhood,
and that place has just sort of like anchored it for so long.
And I think that speaks to, like, people have a lot of affection for this place.
And honestly, it's pretty good.
Yeah, you know.
It was busy, too.
People were in and out the whole time we were there.
We freaked a lot of people out.
We did.
We did.
We were, like, too many people.
We showed up as an army, and a few people were like, I don't even want to deal with all this shit.
There were some people that came in and then did leave, I believe.
And we're all too chatty, and we got a bunch of shit all that.
We're being fucking annoying.
It's like somebody's coming in to buy, like, a fucking granola bar or something.
There was a guy that came in when we were there that had a joint and a lighter in his hand, and he just bought a lemonade.
And I was like, this guy's about to go have, like, a great couple hours.
He's a joint is lemonade.
It's a very hippie.
It's a hippie crowd.
For sure.
We were in there, and so the, the,
The workers there who opened us out, Chris and Tina were their names.
They were great.
They were so friendly.
Chris had a Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirt, which I immediately clocked.
Chris immediately started doing a bit when I walked in.
Yeah, he did.
Amelia asked me if I go there a lot, and he's like, he was just here five minutes ago or something like that.
And I was watching you wondering what you thought of all this.
I couldn't tell if the bits going on were annoying you or what the deal was.
Well, he did, like, there was a minute where I was like, is he doing a bit or does he actually genuinely
think I was in there earlier that morning
because I was at a point where like
I didn't have enough information.
I was like when I was like, yeah.
See, I was confused by that later.
And I love, this guy was great.
And he gave us great service.
You had a Sonic the Hedgehog shirt on which you really loved.
Which I mentioned, yeah.
Which you were like, hey, cool, Sonny of the Hedgehog shirt.
And he was kind of like, yeah.
It seems like he was kind of like,
that's not what happened.
We had a nice conversation.
I got a, I got a side with Nick on this one.
That is not, he's trying to, he's trying to gaslight.
He's trying to gaslight.
Lightwiger is not what happened
where this guy wasn't like
sure freak
He was like it's an original
He was excited that was an original he used to he also
had a Conan shirt that he actually told
him like where he got it right
He also remembered oh sorry I ran out because I had
some doctor news
While you were on the phone he was like
That guy comes in here sometimes
I've seen him around
About me?
Yeah that's funny
I thought he was doing the same bit
He maybe was because I don't go in there that often
But you're very recognizing
Can you know, Tina was the other person.
Tina, yes.
When she was talking to you, I wrote this on my notes pad and I showed it to Rogers and I do think this was true.
She's scaring Wigert?
Yes, and I do believe that.
You were scared of Tina?
You were scared of Tina for sure.
I was having a lovely convo with.
You were a little scared at first.
What did you think it was scared of?
Because, like, you were asking her questions and you seemed scared about like a, she was very on top of everything.
And it felt like you were afraid to, like, make a mistake.
And I felt like she was scared of it.
There was a lot going on because, unbeknownst to you.
she was in the middle of taking what granola I wanted on my assay bowl,
which I didn't, I was like, there's options of granola?
She's like, yeah, and she pointed to a sign.
And then you guys started asking her questions.
So we overwhelmed the fuck out of everybody.
I see.
That's what that was.
Yeah, it was a little awkward, but I did not feel scared, but it's possible I seem that way.
You seem to be scared.
I got overwhelmed.
I got overwhelmed by the granola options.
Yeah.
There's a lot of choices and you kind of get analysis, paralysis.
I guess we should, should we start with a summer?
because you mentioned the coconut kale smoothie already, Mitch, and I got the, I was not expecting
to be green. I got mine, which was the coconut date smoothie. Did you take it? Did you, did you take,
did you take, did you eat any of this yet? I didn't eat any of that. The vegan jersey?
We have the vegan jerky, a hickory smoked vegan jerky, which if you want to take a little.
Primal, uh, I'm going to take a bite of it. Do you want to try it or not? I'll take a bite.
Oh, man, I'm going to tell you this. I'm getting prompted into sex work here.
Right off the, I've never felt like a, a.
dead skin before, but it feels very much
like dead skin. I'll give you, I'll take that piece.
Never felt dead skin? I mean, like,
I've never felt like a dead body.
Oh, I see what you're saying, yeah.
I have felt a dead body, but I just
it feels very, you'll see in a second. Hold on.
Just give me a second.
But that's vegan, so there shouldn't be any skin.
Yeah. It feels disgusting.
You're really moving off of the, we could probably
split that guy. You want to rip that in half?
Here, you do it because you're the guest. I don't want to.
All right, doing a little rip here. This kind of looks like a
fruit leather. I had this earlier.
It feels disgusting.
Sorry, I'm spousbby.
It feels disgusting.
Oh, it's gross.
It's not pleasant.
Oh, it's pretty gross.
You know what reminds me of?
You know when you go into a haunted house?
And like one of those mazes at Universal or something?
And they want to make it smell.
Oh, yeah, right.
That is, right on.
Yeah.
Of like, oh, wow, you're in Texas Chainsaw Massacre House.
They put like this kind of flavor in there.
I tell you how many vegans are like, I miss eating jerky.
I need a vegan jerky.
It feels like jerky is so beef or like meat.
This is disgusting and I am mad Mitch made me eating.
I'm actually surprised.
I thought it would be so much worse, but it is not good.
The consistency of this is maybe the worst thing of all.
It just feels and chews gross.
Yeah, it's very cardboardy.
Yeah.
I will say what Emma just said was like what I was thinking even when we bought it,
which is, hey, you know, like a lot of people,
people are plant-based.
James Cameron's plant-based.
They do for all sorts of reasons.
And, but I feel like what you're looking like, I understand like, oh, I miss this
thing.
I'm missing like a chicken tendy.
So, like, I've got like a plant-based like tender.
Like, I understand that.
But if we're talking about a, like, jerky, I'm just like how many vegans or how many
vegetarians are like, I specifically want jerky.
I'm specifically craving that, you know?
Just go to universal horror nights, I guess.
And go to Texas chainsaw mace.
You'll be fine.
Yeah, you'll be fine.
Because it's also like, you know, what the fuck is in it?
If you're, like, worrying about your, like, this is probably worse for you than the chocolate hunks I had.
I would think so.
But they also have a whole bunch of, so that, like, this is not part of their branded offerings.
No, we're shitting on some other product completely, yeah.
So the, the, I got the coconut date smoothie.
Mitch got the coconut kale.
Which one did you get?
I don't know if I ever got it.
I got a green power bowl.
Green power bowl, right.
And then I also got the chocolate thunderbolt bowl.
And Mitch you got the creamy strawberry bowl.
I got this creamy strawberry bowl.
How do you think we're fans of platinum plate member, platinum plate club member,
a pliable, which unfortunately is only anchored on the East Coast.
How do you think this stacked up against a pliable?
Not nearly as good for the bowls.
I mean, but I don't know if that's like their go-to thing.
It's not what they're there.
It's not what they're there for.
But I would certainly prefer it to like an oakberry.
Oh, a thousand percent.
Which is like, I think it's a decent bowl.
I'll say this.
It feels like oak berry just feels so prepared.
and almost artificial.
And this, like, does feel like,
oh, you blended up fruit and it is.
It's real.
Yeah.
I kind of wish I, I, I enjoyed my,
I'm the only one to finish my bowl.
Yeah.
I've housed my bowl.
Mitch was kind of worried he might have to fast for, like,
a check into the ER.
So, like, he only had, like,
they were like,
when was the last time you ate food?
I was, like, spooning shit into my mouth as they asked me the fucking question.
He's got an actual.
like Sunday
fucking laugh
but mine was
I made a mistake
with the fucking granola
yeah
which I got
I got like blueberry
flax granola
and it made it
a little too
a breakfast
cerealy
oh sure
yeah
yeah
yeah so like
that's the whole
issue when I have to
make a bunch of decisions
and I don't know
what anything is
I'm like
oh well you can
I can fuck myself
and that is
a little bit of a
frustration
with a place like this
but I
I
We'll say that my chocolate thunderbolt bowl was good.
It was just so deserty.
And I should have expected it.
I got it partly because it had a coconut base, which I knew was safe for me to consume.
Chocolate Thunder Bowl or Chocolate Thunderbolt Bowl?
Chocolate Thunderbolt is the name of the bowl.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Chocolate Thunderbolt.
Chocolate Thunderbolt.
Chocolate Thunderbolt Bowl.
Chocolate Thunderbolt Bowl.
Chocolate Thunderbolt Bowl.
Red leather yellow leather.
And noise, annoys, an oyster.
Primal vegan jerky
Tina was warning you about that bowl a little bit
She was like it's she did
She was like it's very chocolatey
And it was and it was good
But it was just like this is not a lunch
I should have tried it
I fucked up
No no no no no I'm a chocaholic man
I would have liked it
Same here's one thing I will say about it
Is that it's like it's chocolatey
But it's also like a cacao sort of thing
You know what I mean
It's like that it's got like cacao nibs were part of it
And then it's also
So that's that's something
like chocolate adjacent. It's not really chocolate.
And then I also kind of had that
more of like a dark chocolate
slash powdered cocoa mix sort of
character to it, you know?
I'm still cool with all this, yeah. Me too.
I'm down with it. You know what I actually think
as a better way to articulate it? It was like
it was like a cocoa, it was like a cocoa puff's
ice cream. It was kind of what it tasted like.
Okay. Yeah. Still kind of down with that. I'm just
down to the whole experience because it's also very
hot day here. Very warm. Yes. Yeah.
So having a nice cool bowl. Real
treat. No, I liked my bowl. It was.
just pretty indulgent. I loved my
smoothie. The coconut date smoothie was delightful.
Mitch, how, you're cooking a kale, I had to sit up.
You just don't think you deserve it or like, there's
some, like, weird stuff.
Seems like you're working out some weird
self-hate issues.
It was, it was a lot, like,
having the smoothie and then also having the bowls, like,
it just still feels like a lot of sweet.
You know what I mean?
This bowl's too good for me.
Yeah.
I, I enjoyed,
did you get the lavender bowl?
we got?
I got a green power bowl.
Green power bowl.
Okay, yeah.
She gave me a little taste beforehand.
I asked what it was and it's assaye with some random healthy shit like spirulina makes it
healthy.
Who knows what the fuck it's doing for me?
Mine was like the most, oh, besides yours, mine was like fruit, but still you're
having like a big strawberry cream bowl or whatever.
Right.
It was good.
It was fine.
I mean, like I just, I think that's not a thing that they do as well as some other
places.
But it is nice to, like, we're watching Tina and Christopher Faradie.
and like just hey here's a whole banana we're gonna watch the shop that up put it in the top real strawberry like all this shit is being made in real time none of it's being pulled out of like you know like a pre-slice out of a drawer yeah yeah they got their fucking like old fruit drawer they're just scooping out like chunks or whatever the primate monkey would be going nuts if it was in this place right there he would be going crazy oh god the amount of bananas they have is just incredible so many bananas you could have brought in any monkey
you want and they'd be happy for a couple of days probably.
Donkey Kong would think it's this famous banana hoard.
Yeah, what are you doing in my house?
Yeah, exactly.
If you walked in there.
D.K., you don't live here?
This is a nature well.
Yeah, my mistake.
Didn't you think that the pool being like on a cliff was kind of like a little crazy?
Overkill.
It was a little too much.
The edge of the pool was that you fall to your death.
Yeah, but you know what?
I believe that for some psycho rich guys.
Yeah, yeah.
I can get that.
It's like an infinity pool.
Yeah, for a crazy best-selling novelist.
Is that what that guy is in the movie?
Jesus Christ.
And he has like a multi-billion dollar house, I guess.
I guess those guys can be pretty rich.
I went to, I was in Hawaii once, and I met somebody who's like, oh, she was like, we're staying right here.
It used to be the guy who wrote Jurassic Park's house.
I was like, Michael Crichton?
And she was like, yeah, yeah, that's him.
That's such a weird way to say the guy who wrote Jurassic Wars where he was like,
Most people, even some of the dumbest, I know Michael Crichton.
Like, you can just say Michael Crichton.
And it was, it was like a really cool place, but it wasn't like, you know, an infinity
pool, weird, like, evil, evil villain later.
Sure, yeah.
Yeah.
Also, by the way, was there, were there high arches?
Well, the door's all like seven feet tall.
Yeah, that's the first thing I was wondering too.
He was six foot 10.
Yeah, he was a true, true giant.
Yeah.
Michael Crichton should have hooped instead of writing novels.
He tall as fuck.
Yeah.
He should have.
Yeah, he would probably also a flat earther like Kyrie.
He was, he did get into bad.
He was getting into bad.
Weird conspiracy stuff.
Did you ever see the thing where he was like had some either climate scientist or climate
reporter that was going after him?
And so he wrote a character into his next book named after the guy and he made him a pedophile.
It was like the most petty thing.
Yeah, Crighton famously did not believe that Global War
was happening.
Right.
He called the bad science.
Yeah.
And got invited to the White House solely because he was the closest thing
George W. Bush could find to a scientist who didn't believe in global warming.
Just this got fucking mass market paperback writer who like everybody fucking is like,
you know, he's legit because he has like a medical degree.
Imagine how Elon Musk.
He called the guy a pedophile that he disagreed with.
Yeah.
That's fucking insane.
No, he would have thrived in the MAGA era.
Yeah.
He was like totally built for that.
I tell I, Rogers has heard this before, but he was really disappointed.
He saw Jurassic Park and he thought all the dinosaurs were too far too small.
Oh, boy, because he's tall.
Because he's a tall man.
He's a big guy.
And so it is conception of this book that he's writing in his mind's eye.
This might be my last episode.
He's picturing much taller dinosaurs.
Did we not laugh hard enough?
Like, is this your swan song episode?
I'm towering over this diplodon.
Like, what are we doing here?
When I did the Rogers as a spur of the moment and it was funny.
I was going to have a prepared joke.
Wait, you were saying it again?
You'd already said that before?
Yeah, it felt fresh.
It definitely didn't leave a mark on me the first time around.
Paul Rust loved it.
Was that you, Russ?
Okay, yeah, at the bar, I remember.
Should we get these?
Hey, speaking of which, that reminds me of wings, ye rustic.
And I wanted to hear your wing take.
We have one of our employees, fish.
I don't, I think he would be upset if we said he was an employee.
One of our dos cord mods.
One of our dos cord mods is, he's moved to Buffalo and he's a big wing fan.
But do you have a favorite of, like, I don't anchor bar is like the famous one,
but then everyone says anchor bar sucks.
I don't think acre bar sucks.
I think their wings are good.
So I'm pro anchor bar, especially since it is, like, actually in the city.
The other big, like, wings places, Duffs won't, like, that people bring up.
But, like, Duff's is way out in the suburbs.
I never went to Duffs, like, the whole time I grew up in Buffalo.
The place Fish said he loved was Bar Bill.
Oh, right.
He likes Bar Bill.
There's a couple of them around, I think.
Yeah, that's kind of after my time.
Like, you also have to factor in.
Like, I haven't lived in Buffalo in, like, 25 years.
So it's longer.
but the, yeah, I think anchor bar is good.
Just Pizza, I always thought, had good wings.
I just want to say, Jeremy's giving me a Brentwood, hello.
Oh, come on.
She's pure innocence.
She's cleaning her paws.
She was licking a little bit of her own paws,
but also like some of the runoff was going on in Mitch's hand.
Yeah, yeah.
I always like getting winks from Just Pizza
because I like the irony of a place called Just Pizza
and getting the wings there.
That always kind of mildly tickled me.
Yeah, that's fine.
But yeah, I'm not up.
I'm not a great resource, unfortunately.
I'm a better resource for Buffalo nostalgia
rather than up-to-date recommendations.
We want to do a wing tour there at some point.
Oh, yeah, you should.
I mean, there's a lot of good...
The fun thing about Buffalo, as far as food goes,
is the franchises didn't necessarily...
make headway into the city like they did a lot of because Buffalo is a small city so they have
their own version of a lot of things like they have their own they have mighty taco they don't have
taco bell yeah like it's just like a franchise there there's a lot of places with a ton of locations
just in in the Buffalo area and that's pretty fun I love that it does if Buffalo does feel like
we've talked about how there's like the monoculture throughout the world and I'm like Buffalo does feel
like its own place when you were there a lot of the time it did is that going away too it's slowly
getting chipped away. They had their own
convenience store brand called Wilson Farms.
And that finally got bought out by 7-Eleven, which was
heartbreaking. That sucks. I loved getting like a
Wilson Farms brand like tub ice cream or whatever.
Like it, it was fun to have that
sort of local brand.
So, oh, shots, shots, shots, shots.
You know what I always loved about Amelia's is bringing in
our face-melter shots and all, as well as Mitch's
immunity shot. What I always
I can do that.
I was saving that for later.
We can refridge that.
What I like, I love seeing when, like, there's like a Buffalo, like, a tailgating, like,
Bill's Mafia tailgating thing.
And it's like a dude in a Thurmond Thomas jersey being, like, power bomb through a flaming
table.
Like, that shit's great.
What a delight.
Yeah.
And I like that, like, Andre Reid still has a house around there.
Yeah.
And, like, all those guys still, like, Jim Kelly's still got a place around there.
Once you're, I get it.
If I was an ex-athlet, I would still, people treat you like sports is very important to people.
Right.
They treat you like a true celebrity.
And you probably live pretty nice.
Oh, 100%.
You just have to deal with like a lot of snow in the wintertime, which I think it's blown out of proportion a little bit.
But it is pretty cold.
I was up for sure.
I mean, it's, yeah.
I can't tolerate cold, but I also grew up out of here.
So we got these face melters are ginger kind.
pepper and oil of oregano, we were like, oh, this will be great content.
And Mitch used kind of prepared us for an anti-climax.
These aren't necessarily going to melt their face.
It's not going to be like Raiders of the Los Arc and your face isn't going to melt off.
That's all, like a, it's like, it's a very, uh, it's, I mean, there is, there is
the cayenne is a, the cayenne is a, okay, Amelia's going in.
You're, you're sipping?
I'm sipping.
Okay, classy.
Are we going to, are we going to shoot this?
I'm going to
Wrong pipe
Wrong pipe
Oh yeah
Ginger down the wrong pipe
I got a new
I got a litter robot
It really tracks
The cats shitting now
And this is your toast
You gotta push notification
Yeah sorry this is my toast
You put a push notification
That Irma took a big shit
I mean you can do that if you want
You can get a
Are you okay back there?
Yeah
Are you sure
She took me down the wrong pipe
It went
And brought out my trachea
I'm sorry.
Jesus.
See, Mitch set us up.
This is a setup, Mitch.
Are you sure you had a face melt her last time?
Amelia's in bad shape.
Amelia's face is actively melting on.
I'm actually crying here.
She's gone full.
It is.
It is spicy.
I don't want to say that it's not.
It is spicy.
Are you guys sipping or shooting?
I'll shoot.
I'm going to shoot.
Cheers.
Cheers.
I'm just doing it too.
Cheers.
Oh, yeah.
Ooh, baby.
You get what I'm saying.
I'm not like.
I feel alive.
I don't make your bull run.
They make the pool run?
That'll make your bull run.
Oh, you were talking about John Waters earlier.
That's a John Waters line, the Simpsons.
Sorry, sorry.
Make your bull run.
I'm ready for a...
Uh-oh, a fucking...
Where does O.J. live?
Brentwood?
Fuck, man.
My brain melted.
Yeah, fuck.
Here's what I'll say about this.
I like the ginger and cayenne combo.
You know all right, Amelia?
Yeah, I'm good.
I like the ginger and cayenne combo.
The oil of arachian.
lingers with an oregano aftertaste
that I agree with that.
I agree with that.
I agree with that.
I'd rather have a ginger aftertaste, I think.
I used to just do the,
I used to do a face filter when I thought I was getting sick,
which is already like too late to do anything anyways, but like,
based on the phone call, you got earlier.
Sorry.
I do like out.
I do it, Amelia's like, um,
they're other ones for later.
That's actually not.
upper of the show.
That's why I'm praying to God that
saved my life somehow.
Mitch is preserving the STI shield
shot for later.
I'm going to be all right.
It's going to be fine.
Just dip the head of your dick in that.
You're going to be a.
Also, you really push to move the episode.
He's like, you're good to go?
I was like, I was not pushing.
We were making sure you're okay.
Oh, no, I'm saying you should push
more to Canada.
You're fine to have recorded, right?
You're fine, you just got a scary phone call.
Everything's not going your way.
Right before we recorded, I'd be like,
I'd actually be pretty freaked out by that.
Did you feel like I didn't give you enough of a chance?
I felt like I was trying to make checking with you.
I felt like there was a little bit in your delivery that was like,
this needs to get done today.
And, you know, I agree with you.
It does need to get done today.
It certainly, I'm glad we're getting it done today because I'm having a lot of fun.
I think...
Oh, yeah, that too.
But yes, Mitch got a sweaty phone call from his doctor.
It was just like, yeah, you don't have to, like, move much during this podcasting, right?
Definitely don't take any face-meltzer shots.
I mean, they were, they were saying don't eat as soon as I was eating.
We also got those hunks.
These are the vegan-covered chocolate cashews.
Those are good.
Chocolate-covered cashews with vanilla bean.
And I did like that.
I had one of them, but it was yummy.
Good as hell.
They give these out on JetBlue if you fly mint.
That's what I know.
That's what it is.
Mint is their first flat.
You get a fly mint and at the end they give you like a bag of hunks.
Which are very, very good.
You would think they would give mint.
Yeah, it's just a same.
Ironic that it's not a mint.
There is a thing called, I used to be so about the Jet Blue card.
And now I might go back to JetBlue because Delta has actually gotten so fucking insane.
Like Delta flights are so fucking crazy now.
There's no good options.
Who just outlawed
Headphones?
United.
United Outload?
Wait, what?
They outlawed headphones?
Or they outlawed people not having headphones.
Sorry.
Sorry.
They'll kick you off the plane if you watch something on your device without headphones.
I think that was brilliant PR.
I do like that.
That's good.
I like that a lot.
They should do that.
It's kind of like a, it's the similar psychopath thing to someone talking during a movie or whatever, like using your phone.
Yeah.
You got to actually be out of your mind.
But they can't enforce that.
that mid-air, right?
Sure they can.
Yeah, you can.
They got a new door.
A kid.
I love my left.
A child.
A child who's just looking at his phone.
I just forgot my iPhone.
I'm sure you get a little warning or something.
Yeah, I wonder.
Balls in the Bill Clinton's lap.
All right.
Hey, it's my lucky day.
I was, like I was thinking of my therapist because we get very claustrophobic on, on flights, and we're traveling a lot.
And I was like, you know, sometimes she was, she was like, I know this, the professionally that generally if you are having a panic attack on a plane, they will recognize it and they will not land the plane.
So like, just be ready for that if that happens.
I was like, oh, that's interesting.
Wait, they won't land the plane?
Yeah, because they know the difference between it.
They can let clock, like, oh, this is an anxiety attack.
Oh, versus a true man, like a true medical emergency.
Yeah.
I mean, it is a medical emergency, but like...
Like, you won't die if we don't land the plane.
Exactly, right.
It's not potentially critical, which I...
Or lethal, which I did not find reassuring, but it's good to know.
The plane lands and you're like, mummified corpse.
Like, oh, shit.
You're fine.
I fucking...
And they're just not...
It was where you're supposed to land.
They just were like, now we got to let you work this out of the air.
And is anything we missed?
I feel like we...
Someone got a protein.
Oh, wait.
Emma and Emila, what did you?
you all get? I got a strawberry coconut smoothie. It's delicious. I still have a little. Oh yeah, I had
that before. I got a build your own juice. I got beet, carrot. I was over hearing this conversation
going on and there was a long list of things. Yeah, there was a year. There's so many juice options and
then you can like add and remove stuff and that's what you were doing. Yeah. So I was like you
you were mulling over turmeric, turmeric went by the time I got over to you. Did you get to go ahead.
It did. Beat carrot, turmeric and lemon. It was delicious. I just. I just. I just. I just. I
drank the whole thing.
She chugged it and then had like a little, like, it was kind of like right after
vampire drinks in the movies where she had just one bead of red lipid.
Just like a kind of outline of red lips of like, okay, she just fucking feasted.
It's a good look for you.
Careful of red turds tonight, just so you know.
Yeah.
Remind your dog.
I always, I always have red turds anyway.
But if someone in here was going to be a twilight, I think you'd be like the best candidate.
date. You kind of have that twilight look.
Yeah, I have a...
What are you talking about? Why?
Oh. Yeah.
You think she looks very pale?
No, I'm saying, I'm saying, because you were having the vampire.
We were talking to how it seems like she has some sort of Dracula quality while she was
had, I mean, like, I was just going to say, I think you do all right.
I can't be in the sun, I'm nocturnal. I don't like garlic.
You think I can't be a twilight?
Hello, teens. I'm now, I'm a vamp like you kids.
Let's play some baseball.
Let's get to our final.
thoughts on nature while Rogers did on the show before.
Wait, sorry. Did we do, did we talk about
the nature's protein
coffee? We didn't talk about the nature. Thank you
so much for the catch. Yeah, yeah, thank you.
It was good. It was good.
Amelia, it was good.
It was good. This was a cold brew that was pre-made.
Yes. Yes.
Mitch was in the throes of having
a health crisis, so like he didn't enjoy the
coffee, I think, as much as we did.
Amelia very politely poured out a little bit for all of us to try.
And Mitch's was just there while he was like getting told he only had five hours left to live.
You're going to be fine.
Yes, we hope so.
I mean, there's no other way I would deal with it besides like this.
So what else am I supposed to do?
It will be fine.
My inflammatory numbers were high.
I have to get a CT scan.
I'll just tell people that.
It's probably fine.
Probably fine.
Look, is a chance of something bad, too?
Yeah, there is always that chance.
Let's get them the important stuff.
The coffee was good.
I need to tell them now because I feel like they're going to get so scared.
I mean, I think it's a better.
This will also be out, like, we're basically recording two weeks in advance.
We'll update on Twitter.
If you are dead, we'll have a separate intro.
Look at our Twitter.
or blue sky feed today
and if it says Mitch is dead,
then you know that it was turned.
If we're not in Tampa tonight.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If the image for this episode
is Nick and I in black suits.
Then, yeah, like,
shit went sideways,
but I think you're going to be fine.
And I was going to,
they were trying to get me in for a CT scan today,
the day I found out the news,
which also was scaring me.
And they were like,
they know you're leaving town.
They know I'm leaving town.
But I was like,
eat. They're like, you can't eat for hours, like, as I was taking a bite of my smoothie bowl.
I commend your relationship with your doctor. Yeah. The fact that they know so much about your life is,
I mean, his number one thing is like, you need to stop doing the show. It's like, we can make some
changes. We need to make, we need to make some, we need to make some changes. You got juice.
You're having jerky. Two, two, first of all, we don't have to do, we don't have to do two hours of a podcast, which
is just the, this is the podcast foible, which we all have fallen into, which is the episodes
go longer and then you think you have to go longer.
No.
A nice 90 minutes is great.
An hour podcast?
Do we stop the show?
Is that what you're saying?
Why not?
An hour 40?
We've given them a good show.
We're getting to fork scores, Mitch.
We still got a segment and-
See?
Well, no.
We don't have, I mean, here's the thing.
No, no, it's fine.
I won't get a CT scan.
Hey, Action Boys, I wish it was an hour and a half.
Trust me.
Trust me.
I'm trying to cut that thing back.
We've gotten longer.
we've gotten, we've got a little bit longer.
No, no, we've been having a great time.
Over time, I think what happens is that naturally starts to bloat, you get a little bit
looser with the format.
But then also we have to be funny.
We've got to be funny.
We have to say something funny.
And then it's just three hours of us trying to get to something funny.
We had like two funny moments in this episode.
Yeah.
But the Michael Crichton tall, the Donofuginger short thing.
That joke was really good.
That was big. I mean, we got that marked as a clip.
We can clip that one.
So the, the, but also like,
In memoriam clip.
Yeah, we can do just a kind of immemorial Mitch and piece together all your jokes from this episode.
And then one shot of you and tomorrow war with a gunshot.
I will say there's a more and more is more thing with podcast fandom.
Like we released a three hour episode fairly recently with our friends at Chelsea and Elena and people love.
how long it was. So this is like
our incentive, we're also incentivized
to go a little bit longer, but I think also we're just like,
we're just kind of in the groove right now. We're having fun.
Yeah, I mean, I could talk to you guys all day,
so it's easy for me. Yes, that is.
But the real, it's
from doing Action Boys, it's like,
well, how fucking long am I going to be talking to you guys
all the time? Like, like. Right.
But also as an Action Boy's patron,
I'd like, I love it when an episode's
three hours myself, so, you know, there you go.
I always got bang over here. We always, we have
some fucking, whatever.
fucking some writer friend of his that comes on the show
fucking Dr. Dorcas
who's sitting here with us, not making any jokes.
Dr. Dorcas was great.
I got to, I don't listen to a ton of episodes,
but I did listen to the Dr. Dorcas episode.
And like he had a lot of really good information about fucking chicken nuggets.
He was really, like, he'd done a lot of research.
I was a staff writer with Wiger 15 years ago.
I was like, all right, this is going to be a fucking awesome episode.
Thanks for having me on, Dwyer.
Dr. Dorcas said he was going to write you into the Turner & Hoot Show.
Like, he said he was going to write a part for you.
Yeah, ass Hooch.
Hooch's stunt double, his name Beasley, by the way, for all you people wondering.
It's just so funny that Dr. Dorcas specifically was like, hey, I'm like a really big fan of Mitch.
And then here you are shit talking.
I like, I like, Dr. Dorcas is a good guy.
Pick a different example.
Yeah.
One that, like, Dr. Dorcas, good guy, not funny.
He is right.
Right. Yeah, sure. Yeah.
You want me to pick an example for me?
No, no, no.
Oh, okay. I'll say you're saying, say someone else.
Say someone other than Dr. Dorcas in the future.
Mr. Dorcas was a rough episode.
Mr. Dorcas was rough.
Well, it's Dr. Dorcas is Nepo baby son who didn't go to college.
Pretty rough episode.
Duxton was rough, yeah.
And also just to throw out a real name, Matt Qualick.
Qualick's always a challenge.
Unless we put a noid suit on him and let him sing a song.
Then everything's hungry.
You put him in a noid suit, sent him to jail to meet that guy.
That guy whose name is like fucking Aaron Noid or whatever.
Are you Jeffrey Epstein?
Strangles it with a bed sheet.
Of course, I'm referring to the guy who thought the Noid commercials were talking to him.
Is that what?
This was Kenneth Noid.
This is paranoid schizophrenic man.
By the way, the story doesn't get happier at any point.
It only gets sad.
It's really sad.
I mean, it ends with his death suicide by cop.
It's terrible.
He was, but he was, he was, he was a paranoid schizophrenic.
His name was actually spelled exactly like the noid.
So he thought the ads were talking to him and avoid the noid was like a thing about him.
He, I believe, went to a Domino's franchise and held the, the, uh, the workers hostage, and then he ended up being killed by the chimes.
I think about it all the time.
It's insane.
I think about it all the time.
Like, what are the chances?
It would be, I think.
Kualik found his suit like the end of a Batman movie or something.
He's like taking on the, taking on the mantle of fucking.
But I mean, like, it's one of those things where if brands didn't have veto power over it,
it would be like a really interesting movie.
But there's no way Domino's would ever sign off on something like that.
Oh, man, they, I feel, I don't know.
Oh, yeah, I guess it's too dark on their.
No.
Why would they associate the symbology of the noid and the Domino's brand with this?
But can you just make your own, like, the gesture or whatever?
It would have to be a fictionalized version, but I think it's less interesting.
It just doesn't have the same impact.
You want that blackberry sort of vibe when you do.
Yeah, right.
You want to know the actual brand.
the actual brownie.
Yeah.
Hey, take it from me, the spoon man.
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All right, let's get to our final thoughts.
Rogers, you know the podcast before.
We'll go around, we'll go of our closing argument, if you will,
and then give that a fork score from zero to five forks.
You're a veteran of Naturewell.
What is your fork score?
Nature Well, staple of the neighborhood.
Really happy.
It's here.
I'm going to give it a high score because I'm a homer.
I'm going to give a four forks.
Four forks, very solid score.
This is me, should be a SIP score.
And I'll say this, because, one, it's a bowl,
place. A fork never works in a bowl,
for one of these things. But also,
I don't think that that's what they do.
What do you want to change it to? Stras.
I think a straw score is a better...
So one fork equals one straw.
That's a conversion rate.
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean, do you want to make it
more complicated? We can. No, I think it's... I mean, I'm
won't even get into the fact that I had an assayee bowl.
That's... Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You had an asaie bowl? Yeah.
Oh, right, you did. I'm sorry. But it was greens was the base.
Yeah, it was the flavor was the...
green power bowl, but it was under the
assaye section. It's assayee
which I'm just bringing it up because I didn't have
it with a straw. Okay?
If you want to fucking play hardball here.
I also used a spoon to eat my bowl,
so I don't think it has to be a straw.
Should we make a spoons? Is there
a straw and also a spoon? They don't have that,
do they? That's a... Like a spork
but for a straw. They do have
those old slushy straws. Yeah, slushy.
Yeah, maybe blizzards
had that. Yeah.
Strewon? Let's go with strewn.
All right.
How many strewns?
All right.
So four strewns for you.
I think that this is, I mean, I think it's one of the best things going on a knoll of the Silver Lake here, right?
As far as like a...
As far as enhancing the neighborhood, certainly better than the head gum podcast network.
Yeah.
Just kind of a blight.
Yeah.
Every once in a while, like you'll see maybe somebody you know on the painted on the side of the building, but odds are no.
All the locals are like, hey, can we replace the head gum studios with a burned out
husk.
It might be a better, less of an eyesore.
Naturewell, just seeing businesses rising and falling.
And that will happen soon for headgum as well.
Yeah, it's time.
It's time will come.
Soon or later than later.
But I would, I think for what it's trying to do, which is, I think it does remarkably
well.
I mean, like, the kale coconut smoothie, which put them on the map is fucking great.
Hey, we had the time of our fucking lives.
We had a great.
I mean, there were, you know, there were some other things that were, you know,
it wasn't the happiest day of my life.
Yeah, some bad news was dispensed to certain members of the podcast.
But let's frame it this way.
Imagine you were in a habit, like a burger place where you got that news instead of like a juice place.
I am much happier that I was in a juice place.
I didn't have to go back and eat a burger.
So that is, so that there are.
If you had a fucking like big ass burger in your mouth when it was like, hey, have you eaten anything recently?
Instead of a spoonful of a patia bowl, you have a fuck, you're taking a bite of a patty melt just as you get that phone call.
You'd be a lot more anxious.
I'm happier that I had the juice.
And I'm not going to go below four forks.
Sorry, four strewns.
I'm going to say, I think I'm going to go four strewns.
I'm going to do handholding.
I go four strewns exactly.
Yeah, this is a pretty easy verdict for me.
We didn't talk about you had an incident with your dog Jane at Naturewell.
I'm not sure if you want to get them out of all.
Oh, yeah.
No, that was, they have tables outside.
And, I mean, I'll try to keep a brief.
My dog is very sensitive.
of my reactions to people, I think.
She's not friendly.
Right.
Last night I went out to dinner and I said, hey, look at this serial killer walking by because
like a weirdo was walking by.
And those were my words exactly.
My dog lost her shit on that.
She took me seriously.
Good girl.
So like nine times out of ten, she's right to be mad.
But some guy walked in and she bit him.
This is the only time she's ever bit.
He tried to pet her, right?
She's the only time she's ever bit a stranger.
And then he like, we had to like exchange numbers and stuff.
Oh, man.
And then I even like...
Did you have that guy put down?
Well, I was.
I didn't feel bad for him because like I got his information.
Of course, I like Googled it.
And he was like on his mom's phone plan and stuff.
Right.
So he was, I did.
I like was worried this guy was going to sue me.
And I took like a whole like kind of synopsis of the incident of like,
he just got nipped.
right?
Yes, he was being, and he was worried my dog game like rabies or stuff, my fucking 19.
She's a go primate on her.
Well, we know if we see him again to just get into a pool, we'll be fine.
This is a pretty easy verdict for me.
I really like nature well.
Chris and Tino were delightful.
Just great customer service.
We gave them a big order.
They weren't, we maybe felt more overwhelmed than they did.
They handled it all very capable.
You were slightly scared of her, yeah.
I was a little scared.
I'll admit it.
They were very capable in terms of getting it all handled logistically, and they also were just very kind.
They weren't like there wasn't a tint of exasperation.
I'm not sure if they like they like their jobs, but they certainly seem like that.
You know what?
I'll say this.
The only point in the store who looked a little nervous, me.
Yeah, they seem to pick up on your energy.
It maybe offered you up a couple different.
I think they even were trying to make you more of a regular, the end of life special.
We forgot to give you the last meal discount.
They did offer us a neighborhood discount since we work at Headgum across the street.
Yeah, you get 10% off, so that was nice of them as well.
They also gave Jimmy a spoonful of freshly ground peanut butter, which she loves.
Yeah, they make nut butters in house.
Which they didn't like when I got on all fours.
I went, me too.
And they were like, all right, if you want peanut butter, we'll give you some.
They were like, wait, are you playing hooch?
now.
I mean, we could have
filmed that and set that in.
Dr. Dorgias will be.
Yeah, Dr. Dorgia's going to
hooked you up.
I can't wait to do a reboot
at Turrude with me and Mitch.
Man,
that would be fun to shoot.
I mean, it would be fun to shoot that.
Yeah, it would be great.
You being a big new dog.
Slopering everywhere.
Me washing him in the shower.
Wait, what is this?
What am I watching?
To see where he's trying
And I got a towel
I'm trying to get it over Mitch
And he's fucking getting everything wet
All over the place
The idea also
Putting as an actor
Putting yourself on a self-tape
To play a dog
Doesn't seem like
It's like that it's so embarrassing
But also not that far off
What we do already
It's already humiliating enough
To like go on tape
But much less
No mocap suits
or anything, you're just straight up being a dog.
I can picture it in my head of being on all fours,
being like,
like,
showing it to Wigram,
like,
which take do you think is better of me as the dog?
You and Cabriss comparing notes about like being mad
that neither one of you guys got fucking hooch.
Yeah,
you get it,
you're like,
you don't want to do it,
but then you get a call back,
and you're like,
well, fuck,
I might actually book this thing,
so then you get your hopes up.
And you bite into an actual beer can.
that freaked people out.
Too into it.
Yeah.
We're going to PWAH for this one
yet again. Mitch. Can't talk about
a problem I have with Turner Ooch? Please.
And this is a lot of dog movies.
At the end, there's a litter
of puppies
to kind of insinuate that there's
going to be another generation of Hooch is
out there. Don't be sad, folks.
It's cute. It is cute. I mean, it's
very sad for the dog to die.
But they never
when dogs
two dogs of different breeds
have puppies they never do it
where they're like mutts
they just have like all the female
dogs or like the mom dog and all the like male dog
is like hooch
yeah I guess they're trying to just make it
breed but I like like
I guess we all know how dogs work
I know mutts would be would be a lot like
would make a lot more sense
yeah do we see do we see whoch
I was about to ask if you see Turner fuck
do we do we see hooch fucking in the
does he is there a
female dog is interested in?
Yeah, there's a prolonged real-time sex scene
between a huge and a female dog.
Have you seen the movie?
It's like two hours, 20 minutes long,
25 minutes of those are
huge thrusting.
They do the in-shel.
What's that movie where they show inside the vagina,
the dick coming into the vagina?
Oh, uh, those home movies.
You guys know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, those home movies
we were passing around on monkey boys.
Evan is Googling it, which I appreciate.
It's not Into the breach, but it's got a title like that.
Oh, it is. No, Into the void?
Into the void? Into the void. Look who's talking.
Has like the fucking sperm.
Party Supreme.
This is a hard thing to Google.
If you put Into the Void, that's what it is.
Anyways, you get a dog version of Into the Void.
That's all I was trying to say, which wasn't worth it.
And speaking to dogs, the fact that they were, they offered Gemmy a spoonful of peanut
butter and Jemmy was in not hog heaven but dog heaven
where all dogs go.
Not not yet.
You're on earth, dog heaven.
She knows he'll be waiting for her.
Her vet calls.
We both get bad news today.
Her vet calls says to just stand further away from you, bitch.
I was going to be in the handholding club with our guest and my co-host, but the
extra spoonful of peanut butter for Jemmy.
Upset half a strewn, four and a half strewns,
which means that Naturewell juice bar is in the Golden Play Club.
I think where it belongs.
A neighborhood institution.
It does. It does.
I'm one of those L.A. small chains that is like,
not like an annoying thing that you hate, like a cafe gratitude or something like.
Oh, I like Naturewell.
No, I'm glad it exists.
What's the copy place right down the street there?
That's like the other one that I'm like, that's been there longer than, uh,
intelligentsia.
I'm like, intelligentsia and Naturewell have lasted at least a while.
It's true.
Yeah, I don't go there a lot, but I'm glad it's there.
Like, I'm kind of shocked, and that's a staple of the neighborhood, but it is.
Those two and then the BDSM store across the street, rough trade.
Rough trade.
Yeah.
So, yeah, they're just holding down the neighborhood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where you got the-
Where you were in there earlier today, I'm sure.
I'm a regular.
What are you going to say where they got what?
Oh, no, yeah, it just brings, circles us back to Turner and Hooch talk of just like,
Nick was there getting a leash in a collar.
I was going to say he and Jesse were trying out all there's together.
Welcome to the Golden Plate Club Nature Well.
Let's do a segment here.
We got a beverage.
We're going to decide if you should pour it down your throat.
It's drank or stank.
And hey, we have something that's also in Beverage Town.
These are...
Nice and warm in Amelia's pockets.
Amelia did just pull two aluminum bottles out of her pockets.
These are St. James, organic brewed tea.
St.
James.
Mitch,
the brand is called
St. James.
This is what you need,
Mitch.
Okay?
You need a little
bit of...
Is there a drink of chrome
in there?
I should have gotten
more cups.
No,
this is fine.
I don't mind
killing this one.
My doctor did...
I'm going to CBS
to get stuff
after this and it would be
funny.
It's like...
Amelia was doing the
like sneaking
beverages into the game
move.
Yeah.
Like the kind of...
Right.
Like, no,
my thighs just have
these two huge bumps
here.
Everything's fine.
This is like, they're all flavored green teas, I believe.
This one is Passion Fruit and Peach.
Okay.
And I'll real a little bit of copy here.
Maverick entrepreneur John M. Farolito co-founded Arizona iced tea at a time when soda was
king and sugary drinks were a given.
30 years later in 2022, he reinvented the category again with a launch of St. James
iced tea.
They got a bad timing on the name.
Really bad timing on the name.
Representing New Era and All Natural Organic Tea.
The namesake honors not the island, Mitch, but far.
Father James Hagerty, a Brooklyn-based priest to encourage Farrellito early in his career,
give him the confidence in community to make his dreams a reality.
Imagine calling yourself a maverick on your own product.
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, right.
But it is interesting.
Like, there's the Arizona guy, and he's like, hey, I got something new.
There's a chance that my doctor prescribed me adrenachrome at.
I got to CVS and see what the medications are.
There is a chance that I got a dream, I hope I got a drinkacrome.
If it works, would you, I mean, do you have, does it join?
Is there, is there?
You're trying to talk yourself into doing adrenachrome.
Is there a virgin blood did keep you young, would you drink it?
Is there a way we could source that in a good way, the adrenachrome?
Yes, they're ethical.
Is there ethical?
If adrenachrome worked, could you get it ethically, I guess, is the question.
Yeah.
And I mean, like, if it could save your life, the children's blood, if it was ethical, they weren't killed.
They would certainly be.
If you caught the kids right when they died from natural causes.
Drain them.
There would certainly be plenty of like stage parents, like that type of person who's just looking to monetize their kid.
Like draining their kid every single day.
Yeah, sadly.
Bottoms up on the passion fruit and peach.
This is the first one.
According to the internet, they can synthesize a drain of chrome in a lab.
Okay.
It's not the same.
Yeah, it's like beyond.
It's like beyond me.
You want the real.
Don't take my adrenic chrome, okay.
Government.
Let me have it the old-fashioned way.
Mama, don't take my dream of chrome.
This is only 25 calories per bottle.
That's the serving size.
And it's lightly sweetened.
I don't mind this.
How much sugar are we talking?
Well, here's the issue.
It does have four grams of sugar.
That's not so bad.
It's not terrible.
And if it's got fruit in it, it might be natural sugars?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
Organic stevia is part of it.
And there is organic cane sugar added.
But part of it is...
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
It's not bad.
It still tastes a little.
too sweet for me.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
A little less sweet.
It, but it's, it reminds me of, um, it reminds me a, like old fashion snap a little bit.
Yeah.
It's certainly not like as, as, as, like, in Arizona, which this guy founded, I guess.
Does it bring it back to the island, wigs?
Yeah.
Kind of so many memories.
You said the thing of Bill Clinton looking at the, he was, he was, he was, he, he, he,
was Bill Clinton, like, in court and they were showing him, like, old pictures of, like, him
with Epstein and he's just looking at him and was like
just like laughing and smiling, just happily
recalling everything and so he had to be like
all right, take it easy. Oh yeah,
a good party.
My favorite response so far
has been Woody Allen being like, I'm still friends with him.
Just be like, still?
Wait, he's alive?
He's in Israel playing Fortnite.
Everyone knows this.
All right, so this next flavor is
Pineapple and mango
Here we go
And the copy on this is
This one is
Named after the island
Yeah, you've got two different brands
This one is sweeter
But I actually like this one more
Hmm interesting
I think mango just does such a good job
Of masking so much
Like the taste of mango
Masks out whatever stevia shit is in there
Like it tastes decent to me
I don't know
Here's one of my issues
I don't let this
I don't necessarily love like a sweet beverage like this.
Like a sweet tea, I'd rather have an unflavored tea.
I'd rather have a plain iced tea.
And this is the kind of thing where I'm having this versus like,
I'm just thinking of like an iced green tea with no sweetener.
I'm probably enjoying it.
Yeah, me too.
But I think this is well done.
This is making me think like, fuck, I forgot to tell them not to put sweetener in there.
Right, right.
That's fair.
Then the other sensation I'm having are flashbacks to being a kid where I would take an Arizona or something like that and fill it with vodka.
And like, you get fucked up with my friends.
Like, this kind of has that taste to it.
I think there's a mango, Arizona that we used to specifically get to put vodka in.
Yeah.
And I, like, can't drink it anymore.
This is taking me back to that place where I'm like, like, God, I'm about to be too fucked up on the beach.
What a time to be alive.
The 90s?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean, they were nice.
Hey, the Matrix got that right.
It's true.
They were right about something.
They were like, it turns out 1999 was the.
peak of mankind.
Honestly, yeah.
Hard to argue.
I think these are both mild drinks.
I'm not excited about these, but these are...
If I got this mango one and it was like, if I was at Alamo
draft house and like our special mango tea, I'd be drinking that and be like,
it's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Yeah.
Or if I was like at an airport and I saw these and I was like, okay, I'll get one of these.
This ain't bad.
On your way.
Hey, I'm going there.
Show it to Matt Graining when I get there.
Check it out.
I car rumber.
I, yeah, I give mild drinks.
Uh, mild drinks.
I'd say, uh, slight drinks.
Slight drinks.
This is, this is something that like, uh, at a grocery store check out there would be like,
oh, and with your purchases, you get one of these for free.
And I would be like, yeah, you're good.
Like, maybe I would drink it.
Yeah, yeah, that's fair.
If they have, there were samples of this or whatever.
On JetBlue, if they gave this to me.
Yeah.
You would want a mint condition, which is their mint drink.
the mint condition.
Oh, that's fun.
And then they're...
You can get it with her
without booze, I think.
Yeah, is it kind of like
under any condition or something?
There's a weird name for it.
They have,
they have fun names.
I think...
It sounds like you're giving
slight stanks to these.
No, I'm giving them slight drinks.
No, I'm not speaking for Rodgers.
I'm given slight stank.
Yeah.
I guess I lean stank.
It's a real...
I wouldn't write home about it.
If you force me to go,
go one way or the other,
I guess I'm leaning stank.
That's fair.
The producers just want to try.
try these at all?
I'm okay.
I'm actually huge on flavored tea.
That's the right level of enthusiasm
for these. They are as boring
as the name is fun to
reference. Because they're called
St. James.
Makes you think of the
fucking pedophile island.
It makes you think of a pedophile island
famously. Isn't that fun?
That's what we say is fun.
This didn't come up in any
focus group.
Story has been the guy
killed himself three years ago.
It didn't come up in any focus group.
Let's stick to the
Like, no, I think people will be really moved
By the story of the priest
That they'll definitely read the back
The fine print where they call me a maverick
Let's keep it as is
There are hundreds of saints we could pick from
If we just want Satan in there
Nah, it got to be James
It was a James thing
We got to stick with that
Okay
They got him to drop the little at least
It was like a short priest
So
That was fine
But it is a pedophile island
It is like sort of the most fucked up thing
In the news or history
in a while. You sure you don't want to change it?
It's pedophiles.
It all goes together.
They do. Yeah, it's true.
You're careful now, though.
The dinosaurs are tall on that island because it's little.
Oh, that's good.
Milly, you're all right in my book.
We can cut that out.
No, we can't.
Mine's staying in. Yours is staying in.
Cut out just Mitches, so it's a call back to nothing.
We're all losing our minds.
Hey, that was a...
Spotlight was the Spotlight movie
had some fictional elements.
Not all the priests were that bad.
What a limb to go out on.
What a hell to die on.
You got Wiger into straight monkey mode.
He couldn't process that.
He's just literally like, who, who, who, who, what?
Not all priests are that bad.
Not all of them.
Anyway, to end the show, not all priests are molesters.
Cardinaloa was at my
Confirmation
Crying
Crying
It's at my tears
You keep mentioning this all the time
Cardinal law was at my
Was there
He was at my confirmation
And I know people who worked at the
The spotlight was great
I also liked the spotlight movie
I felt people like gave it a green book kind of treatment
I thought it was good
Yeah
You guys are being sponsored by the Catholic Church now
We are
The Massachusetts Archdiocese.
I remember Christmas Eve being in church the year the scandal broke out and the priest being like,
hey, like the church is coming under attack.
We got to like support the church.
A lame stream media.
And Mike is his dad, Big Jim, being like, fuck this.
We're out of here.
And they left.
I loved it.
He left.
Yeah.
Hey, just like a restaurant, I got your feedback.
Let's open the feedback.
We have a voicemail today.
Emma, can we play this?
Hi, dough boys.
Long time listener, first time caller here.
I know you all are a Christian podcast, so my question is we're in the season of Lent.
What food would you give up for Lent to convince God to let you into heaven?
Adrienne for all.
Okay.
Probably kids' blood, yeah.
I don't want to just say kids' blood, so I will say kids' piss.
That's good.
That's good.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't, I mean, like, I don't think you can do it.
I can't. Day one. I'm like, I get myself one cheat day to have kids piss.
I'm giving up synthetic, Adria chrome. I'm giving up the synthetic, the beyond adrenicrome.
The real stuff you can have. You need.
If I'm, like, I'm not a, that's specifically like Catholic thing, Lent, right? Because there's just Episcopalia.
Yes. I think if I was like, maybe you did it. We did it growing up as Protestants.
Okay. So maybe it's, it's.
I don't really eat it, but like a bee.
I mean, like, honestly, pig is one that you try to stay away from pork products.
Yeah, it does feel like the animal that is like, when I see Wally and I'm like, like, little piglets,
like it feels like a pig is an, I mean, all animals you're going to go and see.
That's why I've never gone to that farm where people like pet cows.
You know, a lot of vegetarians go there.
People we know, comedians, Neil Campbell's been there.
There's like a farm where there's cows and you can like pet the cows and stuff like that.
And I'm like, that will like end my love of meat.
I feel like if I want things.
Yeah, they're really smart animals.
It's like,
pigs are real smart.
I don't need,
I don't eat cephalopods.
I don't need octopus and squids because they're just like,
I feel like they have some sort of alien intelligence.
I do too,
yeah, yeah,
but Vio,
I never will order Vio.
I've, like,
if someone's like,
this is like,
veal,
I've taken a bite of it,
but I'm never ordering veal ever.
Yeah.
I feel guilty every animal I ever eat.
Yeah.
I have, like, a tinge of guilt of like,
yeah,
I probably would have liked this chicken,
but,
killed thousands over the course of my lifetime.
Chickens, oh, chickens maybe are the easiest one to be like, man,
these things are weird.
If we're talking about, like, land.
They can kind of be dicks.
If we're talking, yeah.
Like, if we're talking about, like, if we're talking,
because I feel like the sea creatures for the most part,
obviously you've got, like, the whales, the, the Tookunabur.
Cracking.
You get the crackin.
But, like, I think the, a lot of fish, I'm just like, I don't really,
I know you're alive, but also, like, you don't have a memory.
Yeah, like a shrimp or.
or like muscles.
I don't feel that way about or something like that.
Yeah, or scala.
But then you read like, oh, okay, this halibut was alive for 18 years or whatever.
Like that freaks me out.
Like, oh, that had a whole, like that graduated from high school.
But I'm eating.
I should watch it fuck something.
What I would say, because like I'm tempted to just pick one specific meat, like beef or something like that,
which I try to minimize my consumption of, but I still love myself a burger and occasional steak.
I think I will instead try to not eat dairy because that would be a real challenge.
And I will say I've done like week-long stretches of not doing any dairy and I just feel better.
Like it's clearly like my by day just as well.
Dairy's maybe that makes me feel the grossest of every.
And I love it so much.
I love ice cream.
I love cheese.
But I love butter.
God, I had bread and butter last night like like for the table.
Oh, man.
It's fucking great.
It's so fucking good.
Yeah.
Butter is fantastic.
is great. We named it the best flavor. We do, it is, it is maybe the best flavor.
We used to growing up, we used to give up desserts, like just sweets and stuff. And then on
Easter, my mom would let us have ice cream for breakfast before we went to church. That's fun.
That's fun. I like that. We didn't do the meat stuff. I think that's too hard.
They're kind of a dangerous combo for your, for your mom to give ice cream to kids before church.
And then they stick us in Sunday school, and they're like, their problem.
Oh, yeah. I've said, I was told this anecdote before because you're talking about Easter
candy, I was staying at my friend Ryan's house was sleeping over. And it just happened to be this
Saturday before Easter Sunday.
And his mom was like, you put out Easter baskets, we'll fill them up.
And I was like, okay.
And it was me and a couple other kids.
And I was like, we make up some extra kids.
We can get some extra candy.
So I made more, I made extra, like, I was the one who did.
I've heard this story.
And also you had the same big delighted smile on your face when you remember the
Easter bunny.
I came up with two like fake kids and like wrote their names on it.
He was no way the mom knows how many kids are sleeping in her house.
Yeah.
They all got filled.
And later on the mom asked Ryan, like, who are those guys?
That's awesome.
This was Epstein's defense, by the way.
They were actually fake kids.
We made them up to get more Easter candy.
Did you used to do, did you go to church growing up or no?
Yeah, I mean, we would go to like fish fries and stuff on Fridays over the Lent.
We were Catholic?
Yeah, Buffalo's very Catholic.
Like, I went to Catholic high school and stuff.
Wow.
I don't know that.
The, um, uh, it's a weird phenomenon like, Lent, because you think all the like fish and chips,
like shitty fried food you had as a substitute for meat on Fridays.
Oh yeah, fish and chips that have all the time.
Yeah.
Which is like way worse for you than like other stuff.
Like, but I guess, I mean, and also going to any kind of church event is a very weird thing where it's like,
now I know it's like, oh, it's so adults.
could just get wasted, like, drinking beer and stuff.
Yeah.
But, like, as a kid, you're just like, I'm with all the people who are fucking weird at, like,
in a school cafeteria.
Right.
Yeah.
It just does not happen.
It is weird to be, like, it does make me feel old of, like, that being in a church basement.
I'm like, that doesn't, which, that just doesn't happen.
It just doesn't happen as much.
Right?
Like, I mean, not as many people are going to church anyways.
I think church culture has changed, and I think a lot of people do go to church
are going to like these more corporatized, like,
mega churches and shit.
It's just, like,
kind of a different thing
than the community church
that I remember going to.
I mean, my dad did, like,
you know,
how much things have changed,
you know,
from going to,
you know,
I don't know,
St. Patrick's Day,
like,
festivities in the basement of the church
where, like,
people are getting drunk
and kids running around
to my dad writing a letter
to the Buffalo news
about how the Archdiocese of Buffalo
should be liquidated.
Like,
that's like,
that was his journey.
where they saved it.
My brother sent it to me with no commentary.
He just said, read the last letter.
So, like, they have, like, a whole kind of...
Buffalo had a similar sort of spotlight type expose.
Yeah, yeah.
And so they had the responses from readers.
And they said...
And my dad's letter was the closer,
because it was the most fucking nuclear option
where it was just like,
we should get rid of the whole fucking arched out.
They should leave...
They should be run out of town.
It was a well-written letter.
So I was proud of it.
But yeah, that's our journey, like, was to from, like, yeah, kind of being participatory.
Wow.
To now non-existent.
Yeah, it was like every, in, like, elementary school.
It was every Sunday.
And then they would have, did you have the room in the church that was like a, like, for kids?
You know what I'm talking about?
Like, it was like the loud room.
You know what I'm talking about?
It was great.
Like the little kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mitch, what is your answer?
You're just going to say some sort of meat?
Yeah.
I mean,
getting up for Lent.
I said pig,
that was my answer.
You said pig?
I was like pork,
pork products.
I think I'd go sugar.
Sugar's a good one, yeah.
I think that'd be tough for me.
Like,
I do like,
um,
well,
there was a weird part of it if God lets you into,
like,
is like,
well,
more likely let you into heaven.
That's why I picked pig.
Okay,
yeah,
I didn't factor in the,
no,
you know,
I don't think you have to factor that.
Don't factor in the bullshit in.
I didn't factor in the listener's stupid idea about heaven.
But the,
um,
is that what Lent is for?
you give something up to like put yourself in favor to get into heaven is that the purpose of it?
It's about like sacrificing making sacrifices to emulate what Jesus Christ did.
But I think more of the formula, this is more the specific formulation of this caller.
Yeah, okay, that's what I thought.
Yeah, I mean, the idea is pretty typical of all religions of like getting rid of something fasting in some sort of way.
But yeah, I feel like I try to avoid eating animals like whenever I eat a lot of chicken.
and fish.
But yeah, I would feel
like, I don't know, yeah,
not eating pigs is a good one.
Yeah.
Veal, I don't know.
There's, I mean, I think,
like you said, just any animal
would you just feel bad eating.
So animals.
This is animal.
I also love to go to heaven and God's like,
thank you for not having sugar.
And he sounds like R.FK.
He's just like, thank you.
Amelia, anything you'd give up for Lent,
food-wise?
I would pick something that would be a minor
inconvenience for me. Something like
mince. Oh, so you're cheating in the system. Yeah, yeah,
exactly. It's supposed to be real sacrifice. Yeah, come on.
Yeah, I feel like sugar might be
you're saying no.
In CCD for
I also grew up
Catholic-ish and
for CCD we were learning
about Lent and they were like,
the teacher was like
explaining what it means, what do you want to give up
and it has to be something
you really like and I was like
I really love men. I really
I love mints.
You actually did this?
I actually did this.
You're not only picking something easy,
you're reusing a previous answer.
You're cheating in two ways.
Yeah, and work before.
God bless.
You scammed God once before.
I'm impressed.
I had to pretend that I really liked these like hard candy mints,
the whole, the whole rest of your CD career.
Yeah, and she was like, you're really probably having a tough time not eating mints, right?
And I was like, yeah.
All right, I'm on board now.
That's very funny.
This is like when I accident, like my kindergarten teachers thought I said I had an iguana.
I said I wanted an iguana and I mumbled as a kid and she thought I said I had one.
And then I saw her in the building for years afterward.
She would be like, how's your iguana?
And I would be like, he's fine.
And I walked away.
And I kept the bags of crickets.
And then finally I was like, it died.
And I'm sure she thought it was like my imaginary.
And like I thought she thought it was real.
I don't know.
If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,
email us at Feedbag atbirdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail 830-0.830-4-6-844.
Our producer, Emilia Irdbrink, our associate producer, Amelia Marino,
our video editor, Mike Dorfman.
We got Merchantikinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.
And, Emma, we got some live shows coming up.
Yes, we're going to be, at the end of April, we'll be war in Tampa tonight.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
He's the guy who sits on and comes.
So you can come see some of that shit live in San Jose on April 30th.
Oh, in April 29th, Irvine in California.
And then at the end of May, we're going to be in Raleigh, Charlotte,
and we just added a late show to our Atlanta to Atlanta on May 26th.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, Atlanta.
Yeah, a double dose of a lot.
Big of wings.
Oh, yeah.
Go ahead.
That is, that's one of the, what is it called?
J.P. Grasshoppers or whatever the fuck it's called?
Yeah, I'm not, we haven't picked chains yet.
J.R. Crickets. That's what it is.
Tonight, Gabris will be with us in Florida.
And when we go to the Carolinas and we go to a to Hotlanta Mitch, our guest will be Carl Tart.
Uh-huh.
All right.
Yeah.
Woo!
Also, if you want all of our live tour shows, you want to listen to episodes of that, you can get the Do Boys
Double Our Weekly Bonus episode, which is at Patreon.com.
slash doughboys.
One of the funniest men on Earth.
Ben Rogers.
Thank you so much for being there.
Oh, thank you.
What an absolute tree.
You're being glib.
Ritalin is a street drug.
Adrenaline.
Kids are doing it.
Drenachrome.
Fuck.
Fuck, man.
These T's fucked me up.
Please plug away.
I mean, I'm a longtime action boys listener.
It's one of the, I think it's maybe just the funniest pod.
Oh, come on now.
Well, thank you.
Yeah, actionboys.bys.
Action Boys with a Z,
Biz with a Z.
You can check it out.
There you go.
Oh, yeah.
And Kevin.
Kevin is out on...
Okay, yes.
Kevin, yes.
Watch Kevin's new.
420.
Kevin, if you want to watch something new,
if you want to hear somebody talking about something that's 45 years old,
you can listen to Action Boys.
Also, you know, I'm going to plug something to that Gabor's in.
MicroBudgett.
Check out Michael.
It's on Chuby.
Yeah.
It's on 2B. Okay, great. Awesome.
Well, hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys.
Until next time for the spoon by Mike Mitchell.
I'm Nick Tiger Weiger. Happy eating.
See ya.
That was a hate gum podcast.
