Doughboys - Nordstrom's Bar Verde with Jordan Morris
Episode Date: July 11, 2024Jordan Morris (@jordandavidmorris, Youth Group) joins the 'boys to talk clowns, beards, and working at Nordstrom before a review of Nordstrom's Bar Verde. Plus, a special edition of The Wiger... Challenge.Want a signed copy of Youth Group? Head to BookSoup.comWatch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro: https://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/trump-nordstrom-tweet-ivanka-234791https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/2/10/14559744/donald-trump-vs-nordstrom-explainedhttps://www.bonappetit.com/restaurants-travel/article/tory-behind-nordstrom-cafehttps://www.nordstrom.com/browse/about/company-historyhttps://www.nordstrom.com/browse/about/nordstrom-restaurantsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Do it.
My daughter Ivanka has been treated so unfairly by at Nordstrom.
She is a great person, always pushing me to do the right thing.
Terrible.
This February 2017 post by then President Donald Trump on the social media platform
then named Twitter was issued in response to the luxury retailer ceasing to carry Ivanka
Trump's clothing line.
The subsequent outrage at the presidential posts from liberals and their never Trump
Republican allies was equal part swift and annoying, full of histrionic proclamations
about ethical breaches and wanton abuses of power.
Of course, compared with everything that followed, the Nordstrom kerfuffle seems positively quaint.
But it speaks to the high-wire act necessitated by a high-end department store that caters
to a moneyed clientele while also advocating at least symbolically progressive values.
Founded as a Seattle shoe store by namesake John W Nordstrom in 1901, over the decades,
the retailer expanded locations and incrementally added clothing and other goods until, in 1980,
it opened a café to cater to captive shoppers.
In-store food was a hit with mall-goers, and so the retailer expanded its offerings to
run the gamut from full-service dining rooms to quick-service coffee bars.
Today, with 200-plus eating locations
split across over a dozen brands,
the restaurants themselves have become draws
for mall diners craving an alternative
to food courts and cheesecake factories.
Over its century-plus of operation,
Nordstrom has survived worse presidencies than Trump's
and more harrowing crises than aggrieved social media posts.
But can it handle the verdict issued by the discerning taste buds of two fast
food podcasters?
This week on Doughboys, we head to the top floor, where the restrooms are located,
to review Nordstrom's Bar Verde. Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host.
Tour de Ranch winner Lance Parmesan, the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. Tour de Ranch winner Lance Parmesan.
The Spoon Man Mike Mitchell.
Tour de Ranch.
Like Tour de France.
Yeah, I know, I got it.
Lance Parmesan, like Lance Armstrong, I suppose.
Here's a fun little roast to celebrate
Mitch's new bicycle commute,
which you've been doing periodically.
Parmesan.
Yeah, thanks for the periodically.
Parmesan, well, you didn't do it today.
Parmesan kind of sounds. you didn't do it today. Parmesan kind of sounds-
I did not do it today.
Parmesan kind of sounds like Armstrong, I guess.
Thanks, Max.
Did he say I guess or are you saying I guess?
No, I didn't say, I added the I guess.
That was editorializing.
Yeah, I guess is true.
It doesn't sound like,
Armstrong doesn't sound like Parmesan.
Maybe Lance Parmstrong or Lance Chicken Parm Strong?
I think Lance Chicken Parm Strong works pretty good.
I don't know.
Lance Parm John is strange.
Lance Parm John is a little, cause you lose the strong.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You need the strong.
You need the strong.
Yeah.
We all need to live strong.
Hey, you know what?
I'm not throwing any stones at Lance Armstrong.
I'm glad he used steroids or whatever he was using.
I have a propendium.
Yeah, good for him.
Good for him.
I think he was probably like, he was like a bully to reporters was the issue, right?
Like he was kind of an asshole about it.
To reporters?
I think so.
Who cares?
You're supposed to care about that?
I don't give a shit.
Roast at BertFuck.com.
How much of a bully?
Was he like shoving reporters into lockers
at the Tour de France?
No, I think he was just like lying
and being an asshole.
I don't know if it was just reporters.
I think he was just kind of like generally
shitty about it.
But I, like, I'm, there was, look,
I peripherally follow the Tour de France.
I used to watch it a lot because my dad's a cyclist
and he was really into it.
It's a very exciting event.
But there was-
Where are they touring through, like,
where through France do they tour? All the way around it. They do all of it. It's a very exciting event. But there was- Where are they touring through, like where through France do they tour?
All the way around it.
They do all of it.
They do it all.
Camen-bear, how do you say it?
Camen-bear?
Camen-bear?
Are you naming us cheese?
Yeah, they start there, they go up to Gruyere,
and then they end in the town of Havarti.
It's a-
Town of Havarti sounds fun as hell.
That would be fun. The, by the way, the clock- Can't top a Havarti. It's a... Town of Havarti sounds fun as hell. That would be fun.
The, by the way, the clock...
Can't top a Havarti party, am I right?
The clock went, you can't top a Havarti party.
I'm panicking because the clock went out.
Emma's fixing it. Oh my God.
By the way, our guests,
and we're gonna introduce our guests in a second here,
but they're raking we laugh.
They're doing a bit that's good.
Am I? I didn't know I was doing a bit. That's good.
I didn't know I was doing it.
What's this bit that I'm doing?
We'll get into it.
We'll talk about the bit.
My, no, I used to preferably follow the tour to France or I still prefer fully follow it.
I used to follow it pretty closely because my
dad's a cyclist and, and it's really exciting.
The, there was a year in recent tour to France
history before they started testing for the,
all the new PEDs, where I think the first, the, the, like the person who ended up winning,
uh, who had like no PEDs, like finished like 23rd. It was like that many people were doping.
It was that pervasive where just to compete at the higher level, you had to be on PEDs. So like,
I'm kind of neutral on all this. That was just an era of cycling. Everyone was juicing.
What type of bikes your dad drive?
Unicycle?
Fucking clown ass.
What?
Throwing firing shots at my father?
Your dad and I are boys.
He's gonna like that.
He's not gonna want to be roasted out of nowhere.
Hey Nick, I think I saw your dad carpooling to work
with 10 other guys.
Fucking clown ass dad.
Clown ass dad.
How dare you? My dad had a standard job.
He got up every day and put on his size 15 shoes like everyone else.
Your dad's a good man. I knew we could handle a roast.
Listen, if Nick's dad asks you to smell his flour, don't do it.
Clown ass dad.
This is one of the kings of comedy guys, like their one hour special is about clown ass
dads.
It's called Clown Ass Dad, number one on Netflix.
A great man.
Yeah.
That'd be a fun Foxworthy bit.
You know your dad is a clown. If you're crying and your dad gives you a hanky but it's ten hankies tied together,
you might have a clown ass dad. Some more magician. If he can fashion various animals
out of an inflated balloon, your dad just might be a clown ass. You might have a clown
ass dad. That was the last one I was, that was the one
I was going to go with next.
But now there's no more clown things?
If his nose is bulbous and red.
All right, there we go.
You just might have a clown ass, Dad.
Your mom bakes a pie and he puts it in his own face?
Yeah, that's probably another one you might, yeah,
that could be another one.
I wouldn't have a lot of confidence in that one
if I didn't want to sell it.
No, I think it's good.
I think it's good.
We're just pitching it.
Yeah, yeah.
No bad idea.
Seltzer.
Emma, get the whiteboard so we can write clown dad jokes on it.
Seltzer could be good.
Seltzer is good.
They shoot Seltzer.
They do shoot Seltzer, yeah.
What else?
What else?
Seltzer.
If you want to follow in your dad's footsteps,
but you can't because his shoes are so big.
That's good.
There you go.
No matter, clown ass dad.
I sold that one harder because I had more faith in it.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
If your dad picks up a hammer and uses it
to ring an elevated bell, you don't have a clown ass dad.
Your dad's a strong man.
Ha ha ha. There's a lot of circus dads out there.
There are many circus dads.
There are many circus dads.
There are a lot of circus dads.
That's, I mean, I think that generationally,
like a lot of people stay in the circus life, right?
Sure, yeah.
And also kind of being a father is the ultimate ringmaster.
God, that is so true.
That is so true.
Well, I guess that's pretty good.
I think we can move on now. Wait, did you steal that. That is so true. Why is that for a guy?
I think we can move on now.
Wait, did you steal that from a birthday card at the car wash?
No.
No, no, no.
Do it.
If your dad is good friends with Ronald,ucks Ronald McDonald. Mm-hmm that one would have worked if you just had some confidence behind well, I don't know
I mean Ronald has non clown friends. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's like all of
Yeah, that would make your dad you'd that would be like the grimace or you know, yeah, Mary McCheese or something
What the fuck?
Hold on, I'm gonna get one before we end.
I got it.
Okay.
Do you wanna do it now or do you wanna like save it?
No, no, I got it right now.
Okay, great.
If you come to the dinner table
and you got pink peanuts on your plate,
you might have a clown ass dad.
Yeah. What the fuck?
Yeah, uh-huh.
That could work.
That could work.
Like that's the meal he's making
is circus peanuts, the snack.
Yeah.
I kinda get it.
It's a little bit of an A to C,
but maybe it was a later beat.
If he teaches the family dog to walk on a little bowl.
That's good.
That's pretty good.
I like that one, yeah.
But can't that be the circus man?
The ringmaster, isn't that the ringmaster?
Yeah, that's kind of a general circus thing.
I'm sorry.
Man, I'm sorry I was hard on you.
These are tough, these are tough.
Yeah, you're running a clown-specific sluner
than you think.
You got the seltzer, you got the flower,
you got the pie in the face,
you got the bunch of paint chips.
That's why I went to Ronald, you know,
he's a clown, you know.
Where do you see that kind of classic clown these days?
Because I feel like Cirque de Soleil
has been the primary clown for probably 20 years, right?
But is a nose honking?
That's like an artier sort of life.
But I think that is the main clown now, is it not?
I think that's the primary clown.
But yeah, where do you see just a bozo-ass bozo?
Yes, right.
The Weiger residence?
Fucking Mr. Walker?
He's back!
All right, let's play or drop.
Oh, I'm gonna hit him with a drop.
That was weirdly like kind of the grossest part
because something about them just being like
hot and wet and like covered in cheese.
Hot and wet and like covered in cheese.
Hot and wet and like covered in cheese.
Hot and wet and like covered in cheese.
Hot and wet, hot and wet,
hot and wet and like covered in cheese.
Hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet, hot and wet, hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet and like covered in cheese. Hot and wet and like covered in cheese.
Look, he didn't even put anything in the email at all.
Wow! I think it was just, I think it just said cheese drop.
So subject line and then empty body. You can tell who it is. It's Finky. Wow. I think it was just, I think it just said cheese drop.
So subject line and then empty body.
You can tell who it is.
It's Finky.
Wow, Finky.
Good work from Finky.
He has a signature like a serial killer.
You can tell he signs all his drops.
There it is, pronounced Fin-key.
Oh, there you go.
Okay.
Thanks, Finky.
I'm always fascinated when our droppers,
our drop curators, uh, find rhythm where rhythm did not exist.
They're sort of like, okay, I guess the way I said that
had to, like, a little bit of a...
You know, music's all around us.
Jordan, that's a great point.
Music's all around us.
Uh, drops at birdfuck.com.
What is a way that the McDonald's one,
if your dad lives at McDonald's you might have a clown ass dad
Or I could have changed up and said you might have a grimace ass dad
Maybe that's the best your dad is a living mascot for the McDonald's franchise
You just might have a clown ass dad. That's just the most
Mitch you said I was doing a bit at the top,
but I don't think I was doing it.
I was not conscious of doing it.
Let me introduce our guest and we can get into it.
You're messing with me.
I'm not messing with you. I would never.
Returning to the show, one of our favorite guests,
one of our favorite human beings,
comedy writer and podcaster from Jordan Jesse Goh
and free with ads.
You can preorder his new graphic novel Youth Group
right there on the table out July 16th, so preorder it new graphic novel, Youth Group, right there on the table, out July 16th.
So preorder it now.
Jordan Morris.
Jordan, thanks so much for being here.
Hi.
Thanks so much for having me.
Yeah, I don't know.
You're wearing the headphones.
Oh, the headphones.
So we don't need the headphones for today.
So yeah, it's optional.
I thought it was maybe like a security blanket.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to take these off so I don't look like a,
but I mean, I'm an old school podcaster, guys.
I've been in the studio for a while,
and when I started, we wore headphones.
It was always headphones on from before.
Headphones are a part of the deal.
For all you youngins out there,
you used to have to wear the headphones to podcast.
It was, you heard each other in the ones,
your ones and twos.
You called them cans. You called them cans. The ones and twos are mics the ones, your ones and twos. You called them cans.
You called them cans.
The ones and twos are mics?
What are the ones and twos?
Turn table.
Oh, that's piss and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You put piss and shit on your head before you plug.
I'm gonna take them off
because I wanna see how you young folks do this.
Okay, great.
So I'm gonna see how it feels.
Jordan, the graphic novel is Youth Group.
This is out soon, but I want to give you
a chance to talk about it later.
But please tell people about it and what they should expect.
Yeah, Youth Group.
It is a YA horror comedy from me and a great artist
named Bowen McGurdy, whose work maybe you know from a great
series called Spectre Inspectors.
And it is about teenage exorcists.
It's kind of got Shaun of the Dead vibes,
it's got Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes.
Yeah, I grew up in one of these like goofy ass youth groups
where like the youth pastor sits backwards on the chair
and he's got tattoo sleeves and he like wants to rap with you
about a pretty cool guy named JC.
He was pretty punk rock if you ask me.
Sounds pretty cool to wags an eye.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
So, yeah, I grew up in one of these things
and always kind of wanted to write about them.
And, yeah, I did this kind of horror comedy version of it.
Did either of y'all ever go to one of those?
Did either of you go to, like, the cool youth group
with the teens?
Well, like you, I'm from Southern California.
You're from the OC.
I'm from the Long Beach area.
But there was a lot of intermingling.
And I spent a lot of time in Orange County,
and there is like, it is a,
there is a lot of evangelicals in Orange County.
There's a very large Christian,
very large conservative population.
For a long time, it was like a red county.
But my experience is less with that.
We were Episcopalians, so we did go to church,
but I did, we did end up going to some punk shows,
some free punk shows that were at a church.
That's how they got me.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Punk show in the basement of the church.
Right.
And it was like a bad... We were going consistently, because they would have a punk band play, and
then a pastor would come out and talk to you.
And then they realized that everyone left after the punk band, so they'd have the pastor
come out first, and then open for the punk band.
And then so we just stopped going at that point.
It's like, I don't want to sit through this fucking sermon to watch MXPX or whatever. they'd have the pastor come out first and then open for the punk band. And then, so we just stopped going at that point. Yeah.
It's like, I don't want to sit through this fucking sermon
to, you know, watch MXPX or whatever.
Yeah.
That's the exact band.
Yeah.
Yes, MXPX.
If you squint, they're Green Day.
If you squint, these guys are Green Day.
Yeah, but the youth pastor was always like,
he's wearing like like, board shorts?
Right, yes.
Like, this guy's not like my granddad's preacher.
This is a cool guy who gets me.
But, Mitch, did you have these?
No, I did not have these. This is an interesting.
I mean, I was born into Catholicism, I guess,
is like kind of the...
But was this, were they trying to trick you
into, like, religion a little bit?
A little bit, it was kind of like...
But were your families religious too or no?
Uh, we were kind of like occasional,
like Christmas and Easter Christians.
But then like the cool kids at my school,
like, I mean, they were kind of part of it.
They were like, hey, we do this cool thing on Sundays
and then we go to this like building,
I guess you could call it a church,
and we just talk about teen problems.
Right. And yeah, and usually like could call it a church, and we just talk about teen problems. Right. Oh, man.
And yeah, and usually, like, you had a crush on somebody
who asked, and you thought that was a way to get to know them.
Sure, yeah.
And then, yeah, couple that with the occasional
low-cost punk show, and you're in.
Yeah, yeah.
Weirdly, none of that stuff, kind of, at all.
Like, I'm sure that some of that existed,
but specifically for Catholicism, it was boring, old.
Catholics don't care about being cool in the same way.
Right. No, yeah.
Yeah, I think for the younger Christians,
or we're gonna try to convert people,
there's a little bit more of like,
okay, we gotta have some way in for this.
And I think because there's this existing,
at the time, a thriving punk slash ska scene, ska punk scene in Orange County that like, yeah, that kind of became the on-ramp.
Mm-hmm. Catholics just like go, they go to church and then they don't, they act like they don't
do anything. Like they don't follow any, it's like, you know, it's like, it's very much like,
you know, the Godfather. They all go to, they all go to church.
Yeah, those freaking hypocrites
Don Corleone Don Vito all these guys they're all fucking hypocrites those if those guys would have seen a scar punk band
1995 No, nobody would have killed nobody. Yeah, Michael Corleone is a hypocrite. Sonny Corleone is a hypocrite.
Hippocrite, yeah.
Sure.
Fredo.
Even Fredo's a hypocrite.
Fredo's a hypocrite, yeah.
And none of them saw Five Iron Frenzy.
There's a...
Can you imagine?
Madone, mustard plug.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
These are great references, by the way.
If you're not getting these, look them up.
They're spot on.
Mamma Mia, lesser than Jake.
Now, less than Jake, I knew.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I saw less than Jake at the WBCN River Rave
and I brought that out.
Wow, oh yeah.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I saw less than Jake this year.
Guess who's still got it?
Less than Jake.
They do.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
What was their big hit?
Oh gosh, they had History of a Boring Town.
That was kind of like their radio hit.
It was about, like, you know, these suburbs.
I gotta get out of here.
I guess that's what all their songs were about.
I gotta get out of here.
Very embarrassing.
I just opened my phone to look it up on Apple Music.
And the song that was in my Apple Music
was When Love is Gone from the Muppet Christmas Carol.
Oh, if you were jacking off earlier.
So that's the last song.
And set the mood.
Less than Jake, I remember, okay, I think I had,
okay, I had this album, Hello Rock View, I believe.
Oh yeah, Hello Rock View's Silla Banger.
Is that the one I had?
I think so.
Yeah. Hmm, nope, it's not the still a banger. I think so. Yeah. Hmm.
Nope, it's not the one I had.
I maybe had a green one.
Let's see, maybe you got Losing Streak that had, you know,
Jen Doesn't Like Me Anymore and Dope Man.
A lot of great hits on that one.
Yeah.
That sounds like the one I had, yeah.
How about this?
Make him an offer he can't refuse.
Backstage passes to save Ferris.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. The cannoli, you need to pick it up.
Pick it up, pick it up.
Man, this is a weird experience because I was like, oh, I have this album and I'm looking
at the song titles and I'm like, I do not know any of the titles of these songs, but
I'm sure if I heard this song I would know it.
Yeah, it would probably come, the nostalgia would come flooding back.
It's like something you listen to in, like,
your friend's car.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Losing Street was, yeah.
Losing Street.
That's the album that had.
Classic.
I want to talk about a little bit about you
becoming a beard guy.
Because this is a thing I've known you for a while.
Oh, Godfather. Godfather.
Anyway.
That's good. Yeah, that is good.
Wait, what? Oh.
No, I'm going back to it.
Is this better than the clown thing?
I think so. I think so. They're both good. More relatable, certainly. Wait, what? Oh. No, I'm going back to it. Is this better than the clown thing?
I think so, they're both good.
More relatable, certainly.
We'll rank the riffs at the end of the episode.
We're gonna rank the riffs?
Yeah, we'll do it.
Oh no.
My McDonald's rift's gonna be pretty low.
I could get Wags to bomb somehow before then.
It'll happen.
Jordan, we've known you for,
I've known you for a long time.
You've mostly been a non, like a clean shaven guy.
You've become a full on beard guy.
Yeah, this is my first beard.
If you're watching this on the video,
you can see this beard that I have now,
which is my first beard ever.
Which is very impressive for your first beard.
Yeah, it's a really impressive beard.
Thank you, nice to be here today.
Someone's like, it's my first beard.
I got one pubie hair coming out.
Right, yeah.
That's usually what happens.
This looks like you're a beard man.
Yeah, I can't grow a beard like that.
It looks great.
Yeah, I think I was, you know,
I never grew one just because it itched me so much.
I'm an itchy guy.
I'm kind of, you know, I like softer fabrics.
I'm kind of sensitive to.
I got that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I never grew a beard. I always would, you know, shave it off as to... I got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I never grew a beard.
I always would, you know, shave it off
as soon as it got itchy.
But then I, you know, I'm in my 40s,
but have a vibe which maybe I would describe
as Cabbage Patch Kitty.
And I just...
Yeah, like a precious moments figurine.
Sure.
But walking around.
And so, yeah, I don't know.
I just, I noticed I had a little more of an adult vibe
with some stubble.
So I'm like, I'll grow it out and see how it feels.
And yeah, I'm feeling, feeling like a big kid.
I think you've always looked great.
And I would take Cabbage Patchy over Crang's body.
That's more of what I have.
The big guy, you mean?
Like the giant?
Yeah.
Okay.
Mitch, I know you-
You think I meant like the Crang's actual brain?
No, I wasn't sure if you meant that,
like if you're talking about his kind of malformed
sort of brain thing.
No, I meant the big fucking-
The big guy, yeah, the Goliath.
Yeah, the Goliath.
So you got like a Koalik's brain in your chest?
Right, I got Koalik's brain.
Mitch, I mean, you've been a beard guy for as long as I've known you. I got Koalik's brain. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mitch, I mean, you've been a beard guy
for as long as I've known you.
Do you have like products and grooming and ritual stuff
that you do to it?
You know what it is that I do not, but I have,
what is the thing I, in my head it's a rabbit,
but I believe that is a masturbation.
I believe that's a,
I think that's a popular vibrator.
A vibrator, that's right, yeah.
It is called.
So you rub the vibrator on the.
And the hair just falls out.
Yes, I mean what is the beard, but the clit of the face.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Many call the beard the clit of the face.
That's not true, because mine's easy to find.
Yeah.
Ha ha ha.
Hell yeah.
We're guys.
We're guys.
We're guys. We're guys. What do you want? We're guys
We're guys that thing is hard to find ladies come on give us some direction
This is gonna win the ref ranking
I will fucking eat my hat. This doesn't win the ref ranking.
The peanut.
That's what it is.
Oh, you have the peanut groomer.
I got a peanut.
Oh, I don't think I've.
No one else has a peanut?
Your daddy gets it under the bleachers
as a fucking clown ass.
He's back.
Got him.
The peanut, it's a, I think the brand is Wall.
It's a little beard groomer.
And I use it if I don't have time to fully shave,
I'll just do like a quick, like, you know.
Why's I do the same thing?
The peanut, you gotta get the peanut.
But the thing about the peanut.
I gotta get the peanut.
The peanut is also the, oh, go ahead.
No, I was just gonna say, it's a plugin.
Yeah. Yeah, yes.
And that's the big thing.
You get better power from the plugin versus the wireless,
even though it's a little bit more cumbersome.
You gotta go wall and it's like a vacuum.
Like trying to do the cordless vacuum,
it just doesn't work.
The promo code Doughboys?
I wish.
I would love to be sponsored by the wall of peanut.
It's a pretty nice product.
I don't know if they want our help at all.
It's a thing that like on,
like hair and makeup people will use,
or I guess hair, people will use a peanut.
And it's called a peanut because it's compact
and it kind of has a peanut-y form factor,
which is a lot of fun.
Which is very confusing,
because hair people do your beard, I believe, right?
Or do, I should know this.
I've had that happen before, yeah.
Yeah, I think that with hair,
people have to also do your beard.
You're talking about on a set.
On a set, yeah.
Yes, yeah, like if you're doing hair and makeup
and you have a beard, I've had this happen before,
well yeah, they'll give you a little trim, they'll line you up a little bit,
which is actually quite nice.
Yeah, it could be very nice.
Do you ever do that at the barber?
Because that was the thing, when I was more beardy,
I loved going to the barber and having them do the lineup.
I have been and I love it.
It's so soothing.
I go to a place called The Perfect Gentleman in Pasadena.
Oh, there you go.
If anybody's in the area
and looking for a nice shave and a haircut, yeah.
And it's like- You know what?
A title that befits our guest.
Wow. Mitch, and it's like. You know what, a title that befits our guest. Wow.
Mitch, shut the fuck up.
Mitch.
Mitch.
What the fuck.
Fuck you.
Thank you, it's a lovely compliment.
Yeah, and yeah, it feels luxurious.
It feels like a pamperin, I love it.
Yeah.
Okay, so here's my question,
and getting back to the topic of this podcast,
which is food.
Has the beard impacted your food consumption in any way?
Oh, I definitely get shit in it when I'm eating.
And like, barbecue's tough, wings are tough.
Am I eating less of them?
Absolutely not.
But yeah, I am conscious of it
and I am constantly wiping my face.
So I don't think I've quite figured out
how to keep food out of there on a regular basis.
Wye says in the past 24 hours when I've been with you,
there's been two instances where he's told me
I have something in my beard.
Right before we started, I had some Kind Bar.
We all had Kind Bars.
We all had a Kind, yeah.
We're guys.
We're guys.
We had a Kind Bar before we were in the board.
We love Kind Bars, we can't find that dastardly cliff
Kind bar will give me the energy. I need to finally find the
Dad still listen to this episode, I guess
Anyway, I guess. Um, anyway, I, uh, I think that it's a thing that happens with beards.
You're going to get some stuff in it occasionally.
Real quick, sorry, Mitch.
Do you think when Nick's dad is listening to this episode, he'll be like, not for me.
And then he'll change his playlist and it'll go, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
do, do, do, do, do.
Clown ass dad. Heot. Cloud ass dad.
That was fucking good as hell.
You know, when my dad hears this,
he's going to be so upset he's going
to paint a tear on his face.
Because he killed the guy in prison.
Not because he's a clown, because he.
I think that the, you know, you go to the movies,
you're going to get a little piece of popcorn in there.
Yeah.
It's going to happen.
It's just, it comes with a beer territory.
You know what?
Everyone out there, if your friend's got a beer,
they got something to it, just tell them.
Tell them.
Tell your friend.
It's easy.
Yeah, for sure.
No, it's easy to mistake, what's the phrase?
It's something like politeness for kindness,
where you think you're being polite by not saying something,
but it's kinder to be like,
hey, you do have some shit on your face,
like take care of that.
I'll do that to anybody.
I'm horrified to see, I was nervous about you for a second.
I had a weird thing where I got like,
I had like something just caught in my throat for a second,
like a little bit of little gapa spit or something.
Yeah, you ever have that happen?
A little frog in your throat does this?
Yeah, a little momentary frog.
Little kind residue maybe?
Oh boy, hope not.
Yeah. I haven't, you? Yeah, a momentary frog. Little kind residue, maybe. Oh boy, hope not. Yeah.
I haven't, you know, people are nice to me
and they're like, oh, you look good with the beard and stuff.
I haven't shaved my face since after Harris died.
I mean, it wasn't because-
You had, there was one role.
It was for a movie, yeah, it was for a movie role.
And I shaved it when my dad died
was the last time before that,
because my mom wanted me to be clean shaven
for my dad's funeral, which I like.
Then it was like, oh, my dad's dead.
And I like look like shit.
I sucked.
Like tying a tie and just having like a fucking big fucking,
like a thumb head, you know what I mean?
It was a bummer.
Right, because the big thing when you're a beard guy
is that you lose track of like how much is beard and how much is face, you know?
There's a lot of face on this one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, it's part of my, it's a part of my look.
It's my thing, you know what I mean?
The beard is very flattering for you.
I like it.
You look good as a beard guy as it is our guest.
I genuinely thought about it when I was growing my beard.
I'm like, Mitch looks great with a beard.
Maybe I'll look.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I think you look great with it.
Thank you.
And why do you look great clean shaven?
Oh, thank you. Emma, you look great with it. Thank you. And Wider, you look great clean shaven.
Oh, thank you.
Emma, you look great.
Always clean shaven.
Yeah.
Casey, Casey looks great.
Yeah, Casey looks pretty good.
Yeah, he's a mix.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Casey's a nice guy.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
I wonder what...
Casey, you look great.
Great mustache.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Casey, yeah. Casey, you look the coolest Great mustache. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Casey, yeah.
Casey, you look cool as hell today.
He's got a headband on.
He looks cool.
Yeah, the coolest guy in the room.
He's gonna tell us about JC pretty soon.
Turn his chair backwards.
When he starts turning his chair backwards.
When do you think you'll shave it?
Do you think there'll be a time where you're like, I'm done with it? I might die with the beard, Mitch.
I really like it.
It looks great.
Thank you, thank you.
The maintenance is a little much.
The food is an issue.
But I don't know, it's kind of like, I don't know,
it's fun to have a different vibe.
The barber touching it up is great.
Yeah.
You know, that's there's.
They shape it.
Yeah.
And you have a nice, like, lush, thick, full head of hair.
But one thing is your hair starts to thin, you can kind of move it down this.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
Just look like an 1800s president.
Do you think he's a wooly-willy?
Why do you think it's good?
How you can move your hair down?
I think it's a common thing.
You start to thin up here, you start to grow it out out here.
You know, there's a lot, we know a lot of like chrome domes with a big old beard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It can be a very cool look.
Yeah. Yeah, it can be a very cool look. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wanted to ask about,
because you've moved since the last time
you were on the podcast.
Yes.
Have you found any new eats in your neighborhood?
Any go-to spots?
Oh yeah, let's see.
So I am in a beautiful Altadena these days.
There is a-
The milk capital.
A dairy brand.
That's true.
I think that, I don't,
there is a milk brand called Altadena.
That's right.
I think the dairy is not in Altadena anymore,
as far as I know.
But I think the brand still exists.
You said milk, and Jemmy perked up.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, Jemmy's been in hiding this whole record.
Right.
Hold on.
Jemmy's been behind the couch.
You a secret cat?
Hey, Jimmy.
We do think she's a secret cat.
She does cat-like things.
If your dog comes running when you mention milk,
you're gonna see.
You're gonna be a secret cat.
Jimmy, come here, my girl.
Not a milk fan, but a huge whipped cream fan.
Oh, wow.
My cat likes yogurt, so she enjoys that dairy product.
My first time meeting Jimmy.
Wow, great dog.
And I just learned it's short for Gemini Man.
That's right. Yeah, it's short for Gemini Man.
It's specifically referencing the 120 FPS
Ang Lee movie with Will Smith.
I told you about that movie.
That's right.
It's Chris Rock's nightmare.
I told you this.
And to Will Smith.
Can you imagine?
To Will Smith.
Who do I punch?
Oh wait, Will Smith punched Chris Rock.
Okay, I'm sorry. He's gonna get slapped twice over Smith punched Chris Rock. He punched, yeah.
He's gonna get slapped twice over.
There you go. Yours makes more sense.
Also, a younger, stronger Will Smith, too.
That's the other side of it.
But yeah.
Jimmy is excited for after their cord,
because Emma's gonna take her on Billy Lynn's long halftime walk.
Ah.
A broken back mountain.
Yeah. These are Ang Lee jokes. Oh, no. There's an ice storm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Do I remember you? Do I remember you? Yes, yes.
I see movies and I think I can eat them.
I want to do fried green tomatoes as well.
I want to do fried green tomatoes as well.
Lick in your lips.
Woody Allen's bananas. I actually would never go to that.
No, of course not.
I would never go.
He made bananas, right?
He did, yeah.
Bananas.
I wonder what other food themed, food name movie.
Right.
Casey's gonna start.
Sausage party.
He's chomping at the bill.
Slotty with a chance of a sloth.
Oh, there you go.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that's a good one.
There's also just meatballs.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, meatballs.
Bill Murray.
Yeah, the Bill Murray movie.
What was the movie that you just said where I was hungry?
Oh, Life of Pi.
That's right.
Right.
I don't know, there could be some sort of House of Pies thing there on the Jemmy Walk
or something.
Oh yeah, sure, stop by.
There's some way.
Maybe also like the House of Life of Pi.
There could be like a call back to the clown dad thing earlier because of Pi.
Oh right. Yeah, yeah, that would work great. It would work great. Life of Pi, It could be like a call back to the clown dad thing earlier cause of Pi. Yeah, yeah, that would work great.
Life of Pi, yeah, clown ass.
Look, these aren't official bits
so they can't go into the rankings.
Just letting you know.
We're just discussing them.
Yeah, we're like hashing it out.
We're seeing how the sausage is made.
If you're a process nerd, you're loving this.
Oh, you process nerds.
I hope you're having a blast this episode.
Life of Pi I actually liked Wags. Yeah, good movie.
We were watching Emma give the long half-time walk.
They'd probably look kind of strange
because it's a very, it's shot.
It's a- It's in Billy Vision.
It's in Billy Vision.
Oh yeah, yeah. 120 FPS.
I saw 120 FPS presentation of that.
It was really strange.
Sort of truly strange theatrical experience.
I've never seen Billy Lynn's half-time walk.
How was it?
Is it decent?
It's okay.
It's a strange movie.
It is a very strange movie.
Yeah, clearly like made by a master filmmaker,
but like a weird movie.
But yeah, maybe worth watching, I think.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to get context for whether
Altadena, California is the source of the Altadena dairy.
And I think it is, but I can't get confirmation.
Yeah, unclear.
I will say though, speaking of pie,
that area has a great little local burger joint
that's been there forever called Pie & Burger.
That's right, Pie & Burger.
Pie & Burger's a legendary spot.
Definitely, if you're not in LA and you're here visiting,
Pie & Burger would be a great stop.
Yeah, unchanged since, you know, 1972 or whatever.
I was arguing with some people recently about,
I love pie burger.
We brought it up, I believe, on the podcast before,
but I love it.
And then some people were telling me
it was overrated recently.
And I...
Not true. Not true.
I think that's a...
It's maybe a pretty petty, but there is,
you get a great slice of pie,
you get a great classic American burger.
That's where I wanted to go for Memorial Day,
but you know what?
We went to a restaurant instead together.
I'm not trying to transition over to this right now.
No, that was seamless.
But this is where we went yesterday.
Where we are in the clock,
it's about time to transition anyway.
So yeah, I was gonna ask generally about mall dining,
but we'll get into it
because we're talking about Bar Verde this week.
Now, Bar Verde is a restaurant that's inside of Nordstrom's.
There are, I think, apparently 200 in-store restaurant
locations across the 400 Nordstrom department store
locations.
Nordstrom, the department store, was founded in 1901
as a shoe store by Swedish immigrant John W. Nordstrom
and his partner Carl F. Wallen.
Bar Verde, this is their copy.
Bar Verde is the flagship restaurant
in the Nordstrom portfolio.
It is marketed as an upscale, casual farm-to-table restaurant
that sources local ingredients.
So it's at least part of their marketing.
I don't know how, I don't know the veracity of that,
but it does seem to have a menu that changes seasonally.
Jordan, you worked at Nordstrom.
I did, I was a seasonal Nordstrom employee in high school and college.
So they hire, you know, they hire a bunch of people for their big sales.
So like, there's a summer sale, there's a holiday sale, and they just kind of beef up
the workforce and you kind of work there and you come back the next season or they sometimes
they shunch it to another Nordstrom.
Yeah.
And it was a pretty good job as far as like retail jobs go.
Yeah, sure.
They give you commission.
I don't know if they still do,
but at the time they give you commission.
So there was like some incentive to, you know,
to try and to be personable and stuff.
It was the first place that someone told me
time to lean, time to clean.
Oh yeah.
So I'll always remember when that,
when some fucking asshole said that to me.
Yes, the worst.
Yeah, one of the worst.
But yeah, apart from that, which I'm
sure you get at most retail clubs.
That's the real clown, by the way.
That's the real clown.
There you go.
Some say they're at the circus.
No, they're managing retail outlets
and being dicks to the teens that work there.
Sorry, just real quick.
Emma and Casey, if you've got time to lean over there,
you've got time to clean.
Yeah. Yeah.
They come over and they start hosing me off.
Yeah, Casey, you said before.
Hey.
Like a big brush, like washing an elephant at the circus.
Did you work in any particular department?
I did, I worked in kids wear boys. So like a lot of.
Did you see why?
Did you check out where?
Yeah, literally right up.
Do you wanna do it or should I do it?
Please go ahead.
Sure, then you can do it.
Yeah, I worked in kids wear boys.
Funny Nick.
In the dressing room there's a picture of a guy who looked a lot like you
and it said don't let this guy back in. Nick you would never harm a child.
No of course not.
Such a cruel running bit on this show.
I don't mind it. It's only good fun.
But yeah.
Just don't call my dad a fucking clown anymore.
That I'm so fine.
Do you want to do yours?
I mean you would never hurt a child but you did go there often and dress up as a little boy. a fucking clown in your heart. That I'm so happy. Do you want to do yours?
I mean, you would never hurt a child,
but you did go there often and dress up as a little boy
with the lock-up.
What do you got?
I'm Jeannie with the propeller.
I whipped my shorts.
That is a very funny, I mean, you probably
saw like a lot of boys unhappy to be there.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, a lot of bummed kids.
Yeah, yeah.
And yeah, sure.
Right.
I forgot about that experience because I like clothes shopping now, but as a kid, like,
and you want to, parents are doing their best.
They're just trying to get you to wear something that you could get something you can wear
to school and not rip in half.
But like, I just, I remember remember that thing of dreading clothes shopping
with my parents.
It felt both very demeaning and also this is boring.
I wanna be doing anything else.
That was a funny thing of coming up,
we're all of similar age, but coming up when we did is,
when we were children, clothes were very uncomfortable.
Do you remember?
That's one of my-
I seem to remember that, yeah.
Anytime I had to dress fancy, I'd be like, I'm like the most uncomfortable in the world.
And I don't know if it's any better now,
or if that's just a kid thing where, like, you know...
But it feels like it's like, it feels like
clothes quality is better than it used to be.
I don't know, maybe this is not true.
It could also just be the rise of fashion and athleisure.
Like, things are just like,
comfort is prioritized a little bit more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I remember wearing a lotleisure, like things are just like comfort is prioritized a little bit more.
But yeah, I remember wearing a lot of like stiff,
you know, unforgiving fabrics.
Right. Yes, yeah.
A lot of starchy pants.
Right, right, yeah.
Stuff with pleats.
Yes.
Anytime I had to dress up for church or whatever.
Which again, I'd like to dress it up now,
but back then, it was the worst in the world.
It felt like stuff you'd pull out
from under 16-year-old Mitch's bed, if that makes sense. Mm. Right. Stiff. You'd be putting on stuff that felt like stuff you'd pull out from under 16 year old Mitch's bed, if that makes sense. Right.
Stiff.
Like you'd be putting on stuff that felt like...
Stained.
Stain.
Covered in cum.
That's what I'm saying.
It had that, it had like a thing where you're like, ugh, the fabric hitting my body feels
so uncomfortable.
It's like crunchy.
I know.
And like, you know, fast fashion, fast fashion, a net negative on the world.
100%. But like those fucking cheap ass soft, you know, H fashion, a net negative on the world, but like,
those fucking cheap-ass soft, you know,
H&M t-shirts are kind of great for feeling nice.
Besides this asshole boss, it sounds like,
did you enjoy working at Nordstrom?
Yeah, it was a pretty good job as far as, like,
those kinds of jobs go.
They pride themselves on their return policy.
So, like, we had this orientation,
which was kind of wild, and the story the guy told
was that, like, we'll take back anything.
We'll take back anything.
Heck, in Canada, we even took back a set of tires one time,
and we don't sell tires.
I'm like, that sounds insane.
Like, if someone brings in tires,
what am I supposed to do?
A 16-year-old.
But, yeah, they pride themselves on that.
And I think because of their, like,
because they offer commission, right?
You can, you know, if you work in a high-end department,
if you work in suits, or if you work in, you know,
shoes or jewelry or something, like, that can be your job.
Yeah. Sure, yeah.
And the guy who gave our orientation,
like this is Orange County in the 90s,
so he had a very, let's say, McGrathy look,
frosted tips and kind of that vibe.
And kind of his personal story was that like,
Nordstrom got me out of a bad place.
Oh, wow.
He's like, hey, I didn't know,
I thought I'd never amount to anything.
I'll never, he's like, and now look at me, I got a checking account, I didn't know. I thought I'd never amount to anything. I'll never, he says, and now look at me.
I got a checking account.
I even have a wife.
Wow.
So yeah, you can get a checking account
and a wife if you work at Nordstrom.
Pretty good deal.
It's really fucking rub it in my face.
Checking account, gotta get one.
I will say I've had, like I've,
the last time I bought a suit was at Nordstrom.
Okay. I thought the service was great. and I'm clearly the worker was on commission
But I never at any point felt like they're trying to get me to buy something just because it's expensive
Yeah, it was that level of service was like, oh, I feel like you're being candid with me, which is nice
Yeah for sure and helpful. Jimmy is looking for a place to sit
I think you can move that pink pillow. I think that's a thing. Jimmy needs some room
Because you can also sit up here between me
and Uncle Jordan if you want.
Get up there.
Come here baby, you're all right.
Wanna sit with Wiggs and Jomo?
I'd like to sit down with that.
Oh my god, this is so fucked up.
I don't know what's happened.
We love you, Jemmy.
Come on, come on Jemmy, we'll take you
to see the first Hulk movie. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha No, this one's got Eric Bana.
It's really good.
That's right.
That movie rules.
I like the first Hulk.
I mean, I like the Ang Lee Hulk quite a bit.
I think it's very good.
He's an amazing film maker.
Jemmy, come on.
Come on.
Uncle Mitch.
Come on.
Uncle Mitch.
You're on the spot.
Go ahead.
While Jemmy's deciding. It's a horrifying come to Uncle Mitch. Just pick a spot. You're on the spot today. Go ahead.
While Jemmy's deciding, I-
A horrifying come to Uncle Mitch is like every,
all my nieces and anyone-
That could be on the poster for a Saw movie.
Yeah.
While we're waiting for Jemmy to pick a landing spot,
I have my own history with Nordstrom beyond that.
Years ago when I was on social media,
I tweeted and I don't have the tweet anymore,
but it was something like this.
The Nintendo DS stood for dick suck
because it was as fun as getting your dick sucked.
Three DS, three dick sucks.
Then whoever was running the Nordstrom account
favorited it.
And then people got mad at the Nordstrom account
for favoriting it cause it like popped up in tab, and they're like, why is Nordstrom liking this tweet?
Ha, ha, ha.
It's hard.
It's weird to remember those times,
but Twitter was fun for a hot second, wasn't it?
It was good for a little bit.
There were a couple years in there.
Yeah.
A very small chunk of its life.
Yes.
But it was, yeah, that was you.
And your wife's very good at it. Oh, god bless you. He was very good. He was a very small chunk of its life. Yes, but it was yeah That's it was that was you and your wife's very good at it. Oh, God bless you very good
He was very good Twitter user. I did a fat lot of good that did me. Um, Casey loves Bar Verde
We learned this little bit of Casey Lark. Casey hates Popeyes loves Nordstrom's Bar Verde
Interesting Casey interesting weird take why do you like Bar Verde so much?
Look, I love hanging out at the Americana.
Sure.
It's a great mall.
Yeah.
I love to pop around with my friends
at all the bars and restaurants, go see a movie.
And Bar Verde is always the starting point for us.
We go have a nice little cocktail at Bar Verde.
You pregame.
You pregame at Bar Verde.
So you're sitting at the bar
and you're having a drink up there.
Yeah, at the bar, at a table,
maybe a couple apps, that sort of thing.
But you're not doing a proper sit down meal there.
That's not that sort of thing.
I never have, no.
It's usually just like, I have a nice little cocktail,
move to the next spot.
Well, we did go-
So you hate Popeyes, you love Bar Verde.
I'm open to a better Popeyes experience.
Can I guess your favorite percentage number?
One.
I think he's a one percenter, why is this what I'm trying to say?
Now that I get that, I like it.
Now that I understand it, I think it's good.
Someone's getting rich off the Doughboyz podcast and I think it's Casey.
I don't have a single stair in my house.
If you're wondering where all the Patreon money went, check Bar Verde.
You know, to talk about stairs for a second.
Sure, let's.
Sure, please.
Let's get into it.
God forbid a 41 year old man had a single stair, for fuck's sake.
The man can't have a stair? You deserve stairs.
We want you to have no stairs till your death.
I'm happy you have stairs.
You guys have stairs in your place.
We don't. You do?
We don't have any stairs in our apartment.
In the building you have stairs?
Yeah, in the apartment building we live in there is a stairwell.
Yeah, there's stairs.
You got more stairs than me.
So they covered in caviar? Ha ha ha ha ha.
This weird thing.
Do they go right out to the marina where your yacht is
parked?
This weird thing where the other half of Doughboys is,
I'm the rich king.
And then the other half of Doughboys is poor Popper
Weiger.
Does anyone say that?
I don't know, but I'm pissed off about it.
We do great.
I imagined it happened, and now I'm mad.
I want more stairs.
I'm going to get more stairs.
Show him who's boss.
We're very fortunate.
You know what?
It is true.
I did buy stairs for Wally to get up into my bed.
That's cute.
Yeah.
Jemmy could use some right about now.
That's right.
Come on up between the two uncles, Wikes and Jorans. That's cute. Yeah. Jemmy could use some right about now. That's right.
Come on up between the two uncles.
Just staring Jordan down.
Good girl, come on.
Come visit your two uncles.
Jemmy, we love you.
We love you.
Yes.
Haven't I?
Many pets are in your future if you come up here.
Your mother is our sister.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So we went to the Americana at Brand Location, which is a mall in Glendale, California.
We went on Memorial Day.
So this episode's coming out a little bit later, but that was yesterday as of this recording.
We got super nice service there.
And I will say, so we got there, Jordan, you and I were there, we were waiting for Mitch,
and they offered us, it was pretty dead when we showed up.
And it was happened by the time...
Casey was at the bar, and they had cut him off already.
You please leave, sir.
It was pretty dead when we arrived,
and it was hopping by the time we left.
Yeah, yeah.
But we...
They were like, oh, we have this little veranda outside.
You want to sit out there? We went out there,
and we just kind of picked a table,
and they were like, actually, the really nice table
is at the end, and we sat at the end, and we had a wonderful view,
so it was nice of them to point that out for us.
Casey was there, he's like, look at those peons.
He was looking down on the people with their fucking Popeyes.
He was pissed off.
Yeah.
I was a little late.
A little bit, yeah.
You know what's funny? This is the truth.
I, after we left, I actually had forgotten my credit card.
I took it out, I went back in, I stopped by at the,
and I stopped in at the, like the makeup counter,
and the lady there was like, you wanna try some product?
I was like, no, no, no, it's okay.
And she's like, oh no, let's try some.
And she started to paint my face white.
And I was like, what are you doing?
She's like, go join fucking Weigars dad
in the circus, it really? Yeah. Huh. You can get a clown white.
Yeah.
You can get a clown white?
I've gotten clown white before when I did Joker cosplay.
Oh, OK.
I thought you meant like as like a, like you can go to like your barber and get a clown white is what you were saying.
I don't think they can, no, I don't think they can line you up with a clown white.
Man, you going in and buying clown white makeup for, you going in and buying Joker stuff.
I'm sure for everyone at that outlet was was they were probably terrified if I had to guess
they just had like a kit behind the counter they saw me walk in right there
you guess what oh my god I spilled soda everywhere
fuck coke down I spilled it on my phone fucking clown ass
what's up everybody it's your boy the spoon man and I want to talk to you clown ass. I love it. It's comfortable. I've had it now for God six years or so and my sleep has improved tremendously
It's like sleeping on a cloud and you know who else loves it
Wally and Irma they love to sleep on it. Everyone who slept on that mattress has loved it when my mom comes to town
She stays there. I sleep on this couch. She's happy and I'm not happy
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what i find myself doing comparing my life to others and of course social media is the big reason for that. I'm here looking at somebody with their swimming pool
and their big old hog through their trunks.
I'm like, ah, I wish I was this guy,
but you know what, comparison is the thief of joy
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It might look like they have it all together
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Wags, are you okay?
I'm okay. We're back. We had a little spill incident.
So I knocked over this Coke Zero over here, this Marvel Coke Zero.
Let's be honest here, Wiggs actually got really pissed at me about the clown dad stuff,
and he actually flipped out a little bit.
I was fired up. I kind of toppled my Coke Zero in a fit of rage.
We crossed the line. We crossed the line, Marci.
We crossed the line. Yeah, it's all right. It's all right.
But now we know where the line is.
That also ruined any chance of Jemmy coming up
between you guys for the episode, I believe.
Oh, Jemmy got scared, yeah, sorry.
Jemmy.
Emma heroically stepping in and getting some paper towels,
so thank you, Emma.
Jemmy bows quite a bit, I like it.
She does.
Very regal, come here, Jemmy.
Come over here, Jemmy.
Come here, come on, come on, Uncle Mitch, fucking shit.
I love you, I remember I love you. We love you, Jemmy. I love you, Jemmy. We love you, Jemmy, Come here, come on, come on. Uncle Mitch fucking shit. I love you.
I remember I love you.
We love you, Jemmy.
I love you, Jemmy.
We love you, Jemmy.
I'm done spilling for today.
I won't spill again.
You don't believe that.
She's like, I would prefer if you spill something I can eat.
Jemmy.
Come here, Jemmy.
Come here.
Oh, okay.
Well, you can just kind of sit there.
That's fine, too.
Jemmy.
Jemmy, Jemmy, Jemmy.
You're a regal.
Jemmy, come here.
Jemmy, you're so regal.
Good girl. Jemmy, you're regal. You regal beast, awesome. You're a regal. Jemmy, Jemmy, Jemmy, come here. Jemmy, you're so regal.
Good girl.
Jemmy, you're regal.
You regal beast, you.
Regal, beagle.
You're a regal, but you're not a beagle, but you're kind of, you know, that's very sonorous.
Rhymes.
We think she's a little bit beagle.
She may be a little bit beagle.
You're a beagle mix.
Very regal.
We love you, Jemmy.
She's, I think, a little bit weirded out.
She may be confused.
Sniffing me a little bit.
There you go.
Give me some licks. She's, I think, a little bit weirded out. She's maybe confused.
Sniffing me a little bit.
There you go, give me some licks.
Licking my hand a little bit, okay, that's all right.
Licking the clown white off your hand.
Well, he goes, applying my dad's makeup?
Wiger went up to the makeup counter and he's like,
I need something for when I want to make them all pay.
Give anything for when I want to make them all pay. Give anything for when I'm gonna make them pay.
So we had this great-
You would never harm a child.
No.
We had a great table outside.
We did, we really had a great table.
We had a wonderful view of the entire Americana,
which is like this outdoor mall.
It's very modern.
It is like one of those things where it's like,
I kind of, because the guy behind it is this guy Caruso,
who's a real piece of shit, ran for mayor.
But it is a, it's like infuriatingly nice.
It's like every time you're there,
like this place is great.
Makes a good product.
He makes good product.
Yeah, it's like going to the Wynn Hotel.
It's like this guy sucks, but this is a really nice hotel.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was, it is, I mean, the Americana is nice.
Everyone likes the Americana.
People like the Grove.
It's great.
Yeah, fun day out.
I mean, the thing about it is it's like,
we've talked about this before, but it is like,
you know, there's like,
we were talking about it at lunch.
There's landmarks in Hollywood that have gotten taken over
by kind of like Americana type structures that are boring.
Right.
You know, but the Americana itself is, it's a good time.
For sure.
It's a great time. It's nice and you a, it's a great time. It's nice.
And you know, a lot of it is it's, it's clearly filling a demand because we live
in this car culture and we crave like walkable spaces.
And so it's a place where you'll go and you'll pay five bucks, you know, an hour
for parking, uh, to have access to like a walkable, uh, town, like a, a simulacrum
of like a walkable town, um, which is like how a lot of the world is just set up,
but you know, it's our version of it.
Anyway, we invited Bug Main,
who lives nearby to join us,
but Mitch, he texted you that he was unavailable.
It was unavailable.
I said, hey, we're at your home.
Yeah, your stomping grounds.
People know this at this point.
So we're at your home.
And he said, I can't come.
I was like, why not?
Where are you? And he said, I can't come. I was like, why not? Where are you?
And he said, the Ronald Reagan Library.
On reading Memorial Day.
On brand.
I coined the Ronald Reagan.
And then sent a photo of him with a statue of Ronald
and Nancy Reagan in the bug main pose, hiding his identity.
So he was at the Ronald Reagan Library,
which, you know what, on Memorial Day,
what a nice trip.
Very, very fitting.
Very fitting.
So he could make it.
We did run into our friend and past Doughboy's guest,
Sean O'Connor, with his family.
It was a very quick run.
Very quick, and it was one of those things where
everyone was disoriented,
because we were like, no one was expecting to see each other.
And so, but it was kind of a quick high.
It felt like a sort of thing where Sean was like,
don't talk to my family.
Which I get, Sean, it was the right move.
Yeah.
I... Look.
When I got up there, I came over to the...
I walked over to the ledge where you guys were,
because we were right on the ledge.
I was like, what is this?
Collective Souls, Souls, the World I Know video yeah you know a lot of people probably don't
gotta do something relatable back to the Godfather Scott the glad to show he
guy goes up there yeah he goes up to the ledge of like in New York City.
I don't know if it's shot in New York City, but he looks down and he sees all the people
walking down and then he sees ants and it reminds him of, you know, it's the ants kind
of save his life in a way.
It's beautiful.
It's kind of, it's very beautiful.
But we're way up, it's third floor.
Yeah.
We're up there.
We got a view.
We got a view of everyone down there walking down there.
I was like, I don't like heights. I'm not like, walking down there. I was like, I don't like heights.
I'm not like a crazy height guy.
I don't love heights.
I was a little bit, so I had to like not look
to clock the edge too much.
Cause we were like right up against it.
But you know, the barricade was high enough.
Yeah, it was very much like the collective soul world
I know of it.
It was a lot like that.
So I was like, I sat down and, but sitting there,
it was like one of the nicest day, it was just such a nice day.
Lovely company.
Lovely day.
Yeah, I was like, hey, what are we, the war boys?
Because we're always saying, what a lovely day.
That's true.
We're like, I'm Morton Joe's war boys.
That is more relatable.
We said it constantly.
Every time there was a lull in conversation,
what a lovely day.
And then we were spray painting our teeth with shiny chrome.
And then I live I die I live again
The I feel bad because I think I feel like I accidentally kicked Jemmy I don't know if that what the fuck
Did I did I nudge you with my foot? I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. Are you testing again?
If you know I was saying like well, yeah, I did kind of do it again. I was always demonstrating. Sorry, Jemmy
She sits under my desk at home, and I regularly forget she's there
and readjust my feet right into her face.
So she's used to it.
She's decided to sleep on the floor
instead of getting on this couch.
Which attachment to this couch I think sucks.
Then the couch is a nightmare.
The couch sucks.
Wags is with me.
The couch sucks.
No, we basically draw straws to see
who has to sit on the couch,
and you're game to do it today.
I was game to do it today. I was about 15 minutes late to lunch.
Look, I've had a bad streak recently.
Nobody said anything. You were fine.
I was late today.
We were doing a promo for the Hollywood Handbook guys.
That's right, a live show with the Hollywood Handbook
that would have been in the past at this point.
And if you don't want to be late for the Hollywood Handbook guys...
Oh, yeah. You're gonna hear about it.
Sean was mad.
You're gonna get the business.
Sean was mad, you saw him, he was mad.
Can I say that I had your back
and I said you were running late.
I fucking blew it.
Oh, Emma!
Emma put you on blast.
Cause I said Mitch is running a little bit late
and should be here in five minutes.
And then Emma comes in and announces to the room,
hey sorry, Mitch said he forgot.
My bad, my bad.
Great job, Emma.
Forgot about that shit.
In my mind I was like,
hey, I'm gonna be early to Doughboys today.
That's what I was thinking.
I was like, I'm doing pretty good. It worked out fine. It worked out fine. Look, I was like, hey, I'm gonna be early to doughboys today. That's what I was thinking. I was like, I'm doing pretty good.
It worked out fine.
It worked out fine. Look, I was a little bit like,
I was dealing with gastrointestinal issues.
This is true, which came up again during the meal.
But I'll tell you, gave a nice glimpse
into the Nordstrom bathroom, which is pretty fantastic.
Love the Nordstrom bathroom.
I used both the ground floor one and the top floor bathroom they were both in great
condition. Look that's one of the best bathrooms we got. I'll take a hotel lobby over
Nordstrom but in terms of accessible public space. It's a little bit it's a little bit close to
public space bathroom but it is like it does the thing of like if you've ever
been to the Delta Lounge and now talking about bougie shit yeah I'm sounding like Casey. Um, I, like, uh... It's just like, McDonald's sucks,
but the Delta lounge?
That's where I like to grab a quick lunch.
Delta Sky Club, great bathrooms.
Great bath, it just has that thing of, like,
individual, full, the wall goes all the way up,
and it's just, it's just private bathrooms.
Florida Ceiling stall doors is ideal.
Always clean, nice smell and soaps.
Yeah.
They do a decent job in there.
So I was happy to experience that, at least.
But I came in there.
You guys, you hadn't ordered anything.
But I swear, I could have sat there all day yesterday.
I loved it.
We had a nice, leisurely meal.
We didn't feel rushed at all, even as more tables were
going.
Lovely.
You guys had some nice ice.
You had Arnold Palmer's.
I got one, too. They were just... It looked fantastic.
Nice Arnold Palmer.
A perfect day. It was a great Memorial Day.
Yeah. Or as I call it, the Nick Weiger.
It was a great drink.
And we started off with those.
I call it the John Gabris.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The... We had great beverages, and they kept them coming.
So an app that was recommended by our server
was the Cilantro Lime Chicken Tacos.
And these were basically like,
no, they come in an order of two.
I asked how many were in order.
They come in an order of two, but he's like,
but we can do three for you.
So we brought out three, which was great.
You're friends with Casey, so I'll make it second.
There are many hard shell tacos with Casey, so I'll make an exception. Yeah. There are many hard-shelled tacos with lettuce,
yellow pepper, tomato, cilantro, lime,
vinaigrette, and queso fresco,
as well as chicken as the protein.
I thought these were really scrumptious.
Yeah, these were... Nice little bites.
These were delish.
Yeah, ground chicken, which was kind of interesting.
I don't think we were expecting that,
but kind of a fun way to do a chicken taco.
A fun surprise.
And so I asked. I'm a big, I'm like very,
I don't like a tomato.
I'm a real child in that way.
I'm a real baby eater because I don't love a tomato.
So I always have to ask for things with no tomatoes.
And I asked like, can we do one of these with no tomatoes?
And he said, sure.
And sure enough, they brought it out, no tomatoes.
They did also not put the cheese on mine.
Right.
But both of y'all jumped to take some of your cheese
and put it on my taco.
I'm trying not to eat cheese.
So that was very helpful.
Yeah.
You know, we also took some food and distributed it
to a bunch of people.
Yes.
Jesus Christ.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You're going to turn that couch around backwards?
Yeah.
He spread his legs open to try and get over the couch.
Oh my god, he's doing it.
He's not wearing underwear.
By the way, when you applied to the children's wear thing,
I hope you didn't put baby eater on your resume.
This was a thing Jordan said earlier.
You said baby eater.
You said you were kind of a baby eater
because of how you.
Oh.
I'm saying if that was on your resume, they would have been scared. Sure, don't hire this guy. You said Baby Eater. You said you were kind of a baby eater because of how you were. Oh!
I'm saying if that was on your resume, they would have been scared.
Sure, don't hire this guy.
And speaking of which.
Put this guy in shoes.
You know, the people eater in Fury Road started off as a baby eater.
That is true.
He kind of worked his way up.
Wait, you saw Furiosa.
I did see Furiosa.
You didn't see Furiosa? I haven't seen it yet. It adds some great stuff to way up. Wait, you saw Furiosa. I did see Furiosa. You didn't see Furiosa?
I haven't seen it yet.
It adds some great stuff to the lore.
Wiggs and I like it.
I'm stoked.
It's kind of a lore dump.
It's a lore dump.
Love a lore dump.
Kind of like a Mad Max wiki brought to life.
Oh, good.
It's kind of like the,
the Silmarillion of Mad Max, it feels like.
I'm in, yeah.
I kind of had a lore dump at Nordstrom.
I think people in there are gonna be talking about it
for a long time.
Right.
Because you were explaining the legend of Darth Plagueis.
While...
There was a cleaning guy in there while I was...
This is the truth.
And I was just like, have you ever heard the story of Darth...
He was a Jedi who wanted to conquer death.
It's just I was uncomfortable going to the bathroom.
That's how I got in.
Sure, if you want to explain Dark Plagueis.
Speaking of baby eaters in the children's department, you could have gone down there
and gotten yourself a bib because those tacos were messy.
They were pretty messy.
They were messy, even though I loved them.
I thought they were very, very tasty.
Our server great guy did not let us down.
They were, oh, he got a little drop block.
Mic cube down, mic cube down.
We could have blazed right through that
if you just kept talking,
because we could have stayed in your single
and I could have reattached the mic flag without an edit.
I like to point it out.
Okay.
I like to point, look.
Yeah, you're gonna point it out.
My flies, my flies are on display.
I hope my flies are, can you see the flies around me
in the videos?
Hose them down again, get the big brush.
Right.
My flies are off and on display.
We gotta show your spills and stuff like that.
That's true.
You got better flies.
You got the spills real bad.
This is gonna be, this is the start
of a huge running bit for y'all.
There'll be, you know, two years,
there's gonna be a Doughboyz live show,
you're gonna stage a Mike Flag falling,
and the crowd is gonna go wild.
He did it!
He did it!
We love it!
Wait, my plus one is leaving.
She has a Mensa meeting tomorrow.
And we'll be like, what is it about, She has a Mensa meeting tomorrow. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm pathetic. Sean Clements asked me what my thing was. It kind of got under my skin because I didn't know.
He's like, what is your thing?
I don't know.
What is anyone's thing?
I think your thing is that you're a very lovable, charismatic guy and there's nothing
phony about you.
You're exactly Mitch.
That's what it feels like your thing is.
That sucks.
I want a much cooler thing.
That thing sucks. You don't like being lovable? Yeah. Yeah, no, that's nice. like your thing is. That sucks. I want a much cooler thing. That thing sucks.
You don't like being lovable?
Yeah.
No, that's nice.
That lovable part is.
Yeah, you're a lovable guy.
Weigars got a big dick.
You're a classic comedy pair.
Like Abaddon Costello.
Wade and Garth.
Garth was lovable.
Wade had a big dick.
Wayne probably did have the big one.
Oh, yeah.
BDM, that guy.
Yeah, yeah.
We had some soups.
We did have soups.
I got the lobster bisque, and y'all ordered different soups, which they were out of.
They did not have the tomato basil soup, so you audible to their signature house foods
and made soup, their soup of the day, which was the corn chowder.
Corn chowder.
This was great.
This was a highlight. I think we had both had the soups recommended,
and I think we all wanted to try it.
Yeah, our waiter did, like, apologize a lot
for not having the soup we ordered.
I was sad about the soup.
I was surprised the tomato basil soup wasn't ready.
The tomato basil soup, I've heard from everyone.
Everyone says the tomato basil soup is great.
They love it.
And then downstairs at the E bar, they had it.
Yeah.
So that was a...
The bar is their coffee bar, which
is at the ground level in this kitchen.
Which, look, it wasn't ready.
There was nothing we could do.
But the corn chowder was OK.
You were grilled by it.
I loved my corn chowder.
Did you?
Yeah.
My corn chowder.
Oh, no.
OK, so not the best thing in the meal. But the corn chowder. Did you? Yeah, my corn chowder. Oh no, okay, so not the best thing in the meal,
but the corn chowder was really good.
I think like, my opinion changed over the course of the meal,
but there was a minute where I was like,
sitting on that veranda, eating corn chowder
with two of the funniest guys ever,
and I'm like, is this a five?
Is this gonna be a fucking five?
I'll save my judgment, but there was a minute during the corn
chowder.
I had the same thought.
And it was also the two of the funniest guys.
I was thinking the same thing.
Cut it out.
Wikes?
Did you also think that?
Yeah, of course.
I was sitting there.
I was like, I'm eating.
In my case, I was eating lobster bisque.
It's a beautiful day, a lovely day.
Two of the funniest guys ever.
Man.
Two of the funniest guys ever, OK. Two of the funniest guys ever, okay.
We should say that Wayne and Garth were on a adjacent table.
Doing a bit.
Is that who you meant for the two of the funniest guys?
No, they were talking about my pal.
Wow.
Well, thanks, thank you.
This is great.
This is great.
Here's a question for you.
We're all feeling good.
Is OJ's name in Naked Gun Nordstrom?
It's Nordberg.
Nordberg.
Are we sure? It would be funny if it was Nordstrom. It would be funny if it Gun Nordstrom? It's Nordberg. Nordberg. Hmm.
Are we sure?
It would be funny if it was Nordstrom.
It would be funny if it was Nordstrom.
Right.
No, it's Nordberg and it's from the TV show, Police Squad.
There was a Nordberg, it was a different actor.
I was hoping it was Nordstrom.
Yeah.
That'd be fun.
I'm sad.
If you did the spoof of Naked Gun,
you could make him a Nordstrom.
That's fun.
So if you did like the parody of the parody.
Oh, so we're doing the parody of the parody movie. So we started doing the parody of the parody?
Dressed gun?
Yeah.
Funny scary movie.
It's like scary movie, but funny.
Er.
I love, I really did enjoy my bisque.
I thought it had a great texture to it and a good flavor.
Yeah, you gave us a little, you gave us a taste.
It was tasty.
Yeah, not my favorite soup, but it was a good version.
It was a quality soup.
I mean, this is the thing, you're getting like.
I liked the bisque more than the corn chowder personally.
Yeah, I think it was probably a little bit better.
I did have a little spoonful of corn chowder.
Everything is like at that level of like good.
You know what I mean?
Like everything's like, this is all quality stuff.
This is nothing that I'm maybe gonna go out of my way
to get, but if I'm here and I'm having this meal,
I'm having a great time enjoying all of it.
I was sad about tomato soup.
Yeah, it was a bummer that they didn't have it.
You guys had a point, I did try to jump off the ledge.
Like I did try to throw myself over the ledge.
Yeah, we had to tuck you down.
You guys had to tuck me back.
There's a bunch of people down there,
you're gonna hurt them, you know.
That's what you're worried about?
Look at that beautiful pavement, you don't wanna,
people worked hard on that pavement.
Just doing it in the bathtub, man.
Jesus.
Come on.
We had to talk to you, we were like,
Mitch, don't be like the collective soul video.
Did I get that right?
I forgot what band it was.
It was Collective Soul.
Are they Canadian band, Collective Soul?
Good question.
Did we look that up? Is Collective Soul Canadian? I almost said Collective Soul? Good question, we looked that up.
How much did Soul Asylum?
Soul Asylum was Canadian, right?
I think Soul Asylum is from Minneapolis.
Same difference.
That's why we did Runaway Frank in Minneapolis.
Collective Soul is from Stockbridge, Georgia.
Wow, okay.
Georgia band.
Interesting, interesting.
Now based in Atlanta.
Damn, alright. Thanks Emma. Who would you. Now based in Atlanta. Okay. Damn, all right.
Thanks Emma.
Who would you say, Soul Asylum or Collective Soul?
I am more of a Soul Asylum guy.
Soul Asylum, okay.
I think I, I don't know if that I could,
yeah, I don't know enough about him to make a call.
Soul Asylum, Runaway Train, Black Gold, another hit.
Maybe Soul Asylum then for me.
Yeah, if it moves anybody, the Soul Asylum video,
Someone to Shove, Somebody to Shove
was directed by Zack Snyder.
Really?
Okay, all right, sure.
Did not know that was a part of the Snyderverse.
I like that.
Yeah, the early Snyderverse entry.
I was watching Batman v Superman
after, yesterday after we went back,
I watched Batman and Superman, it was on TV.
It was fucking fun as hell.
It's good. It's a good's good movie warehouse fight. It was good
No doomsday was gonna show up. They didn't include doomsday in the marketing. It's true big it was exciting. Yeah, that's good movie
Yeah, it's good movie. I like the Martha part
Restore the Snyder verse I
like the Martha yeah, I
Told you that I worked with the DP on Tomorrow War
and he was-
That's right.
Yeah, and he was like, we liked that part.
We all liked, we loved that part.
Yeah.
Yeah, whatever.
DP's know, they got good taste.
Exactly, yeah.
We got the, so for our mains, we all did different things.
Now I got something that was maybe a little bit
less exciting, but I was also like,
this is the kind of thing I feel like they should do well.
I got the honey Dijon Cobb salad,
and you can add a protein to this.
This is one of their signature items.
I got the Alaskan sockeye salmon, baby greens,
provolone cheese, bacon, which asked to be excluded.
We'll get back to that.
Egg, avocado, heirloom tomatoes, grilled corn,
cilantro, honey Dijon dressing.
This thing arrived, had bits of bacon,
distributed all the way through it.
Now look, I don't eat pork.
I'm not dogmatic about it.
So I wasn't gonna be like,
I'm not gonna send this back
and make them make a new salad and everything.
So I just was picking out little bits as I was eating.
It was a little bit cumbersome.
That was a mild frustration.
My bigger issue is this salmon was just way overcooked.
It was just like a, it felt like a low quality piece of fish
or maybe it had been, maybe it was frozen first
and then it was just like, just cooked all the way through,
like just really, really completely dry and fishy.
You gave me a bite of that salmon.
Really unpleasant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a bummer.
Yeah.
And it seems like that's something they should nail.
They should nail that.
And we talked a little bit about this,
like what do we order here?
Like, do we order something kind of decadent
or do we go with what maybe they do best?
Which I think we all assumed was like,
this place probably does iced tea and lunch salads.
Yes.
Like this is probably 75% of their business is, like, people who just need a, you know,
healthy-ish lunch while they're shopping and an ice tea.
But, um, so, yeah, I...
We didn't go that way, but I was bummed to hear
that that didn't work out.
Yeah, well, I think the salad overall, though, was good.
Like, it was, like, I like...
I actually do like the concept of a honey-dijon ca.
Like, the honey-dijon salad dressing not too sweet.
They didn't take your bacon out though either.
That was the combo of the two, right?
Yeah, that was the other thing.
Like, again, I could have sent it back,
but I opted not to.
Mitch, you got the burger.
Fucking, I mean,
fucking Dick Tracy sounding fucking salmon too.
Sockeye salmon?
It's fucking- What is this? Dick Tracy sounding fucking salmon too. Sockeye salmon. It's fucking-
What is this?
Dick Tracy villain?
What is he?
What is he?
Prune Faces underling?
Sure.
Sockeye?
Is that what's going on?
He's in cahoots with Flat Top?
Yeah, fuck!
That's the one I knew.
I knew Flat Top.
He's over there with mumbles and breakfast Mahoney.
God, fuck, that's the one I knew!
Now I don't know anymore, I'm Dick Tracy, guys!
And I can't contribute to this bit
that's gonna win the bit contest!
He's friends with No Face! No Face is one, right?
Uh, the blank you mean.
Fuck!
Madonna was in the movie! Madonna!
Madonna!
He had a watch! A TV watch!
No...
No, he does! He does!
He has a TV watch, it's a big part of Dick Tracy.
Is this good? To say that he has a TV watch?
This is good, yeah.
Anyways, that's sockeye salmon. I don't I don't trust. I don't trust the sock guys probably in cahoots with lips manless
Honestly it's gone the other way where he knows too much
Man you just rattle off.
I've weirdly seen that movie a bunch.
I went and saw that movie in the theaters with my dad,
and it is like a weird, it's a strange movie.
It's weird, Al Pacino, big boy.
That's his part.
Really good performance.
Good fucking memory on Y, geez Louise.
Look, it was Memorial Day, and I said, I want a burger.
Can't get a pie and burger. You've been eating great.
I will give you credit.
I've been eating pretty good.
You've been eating very, very good.
I'm not drinking sodas.
I'm doing all right.
And look, for Doughboys, I said that I would eat.
I'm not going to go crazy, but I'll eat stuff at Doughboys,
and that's fine.
So I had the burger there.
And it had a little, like, they had little glyphs
on the menu near, like, recommended items.
It's kind of a nonsensical Nordstrom glyph.
And the burger was recommended.
It was Memorial Day, and I was like,
I'm gonna have a burger this weekend.
That's what I said from the start.
And I got a burger, but in my mind, too,
leaning up to it, I was just, like,
having memories of, like, going to, like,
you know, like, whatever, a museum with my grandma
or like an aquarium with my grandma
and just having like a classic good old American hamburger
at like whatever fucking food stand there was.
I have like a very specific memory.
I don't even know where it was,
whether it was a hospital or like aquarium or something
where I got a burger with my grandma
and I was like, this is just a great burger
at a no-name place. And I was like,
Nordstrom kind of fills that thing up to me of like being young and going to the
mall and then having lunch with your grandma or something. And then like,
I want to just, I just, and you know what,
I don't know if you tried it. Why? Cause I think you did try the burger.
I did have a bite. It was a solid burger. It was great. It was a great, it was,
it, it, it, it checked that box. I didn't, I didn't have a bite try the burger. I did have a bite. It was a solid burger. It was great. It was great. It was great.
It checked that box.
I didn't have a bite of the burger.
I had some of the fries, which I liked.
There was kind of a fun aioli.
And yeah, I don't think I talked to you
about how you liked your burger.
I was glad to hear that you liked it.
I liked it.
I liked it quite a bit.
It was a little too much rosemary on the fries,
but I liked the fries.
You don't need to put rosemary on the fries, I think.
We went to this, Dali took us to this little corner store
and we went to this place called Ronnie's Market.
It's on Sunset Boulevard.
It's one of those.
This is why, this also, this is what put it in my head.
Yeah, but it's the same sort of thing.
I mentioned before about Columbia Burger,
which is a place my dad used to take me in,
and I think Carson, California, or Gardena, California,
I forget where it was.
But that was just a little place that had just a classic burger.
Is this like after Barnum and Bailey's
when he was like going to work?
After they'd taken down the tent.
All right, just back off guys.
So we went to, but it's just a liquor store
and it just looks kind of weathered
and dingy from the outside, but they have hot food inside and they do a burger at Ronnie at Ronnie's Market and we got it there
We got that there this past weekend. It was fucking great
It was like the platonic ideal of a double cheeseburger
and that's kind of what you were getting the Nordstrom burger which is more like the the
Restaurant version as opposed to like the you know, the counter the greasy spoon or the the roadside stand version
But what a great with your dad great man again. I love your dad.
What a great memory of going and getting that burger.
And that's what I was like, oh yeah, when I was a young kid,
the idea of going and getting a hamburger
with my fucking, with my grandma, what a night,
that was the life.
And then getting that burger on that nice
Monday after, Memorial Day afternoon, it was perfect.
I actually have like a really like,
I'm remembering now this really specific memory
of going to get Columbia burgers with my dad
and then we almost got in an accident
because his shoe got stuck under the gas pedal.
Ha ha ha.
Grrr, grrr.
Mm-hmm.
Ha ha ha.
Mm-hmm.
It's scary.
Mm-hmm.
And also the other driver was the blank.
Ha ha ha.
And I was like, oh, this makes sense.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. The blank can't be driving around for privacy.
No, he can't see anything.
Also the blank is like Madonna.
The blank is Breathless Mahoney.
That's the reveal.
Yeah.
Yeah, cause it's just a garland with a,
Sorry, spoiler alert.
It's a mask.
It's not actually a featureless face.
Man, I saw him, what's his name?
Warren Beatty.
Warren Beatty. I saw him at Gary's his name? Warren Beatty. Warren Beatty.
I saw him at Gary Shandling's memorial.
Wow.
I was at Gary Shandling's memorial.
Why?
Who knows?
But I was there.
Fell asleep at the cemetery.
What's going on over here?
Just wandered over?
This is my funeral?
Oftentimes, if I like fall asleep anywhere in LA,
they just usually drop me in the cemetery.
No, it was during love, and Judd was very kind to ask me
to come to the memorial.
I mean, who does that?
Judd Apatow.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, Judd Apatow.
Am I getting too Hollywood on here? A lot of Judds out there, a lot of Judds out there.
Judd comma Ashley.
Passed O Boys guest Judd Apatow.
That is true, passed O Boys guest,
what were you doing, Judd?
Why the hell did you come on this show, what the hell?
He was asking himself that same question.
Kind of visibly.
Well, yeah, he's right too. He was right.
But I went to that memorial, which was...
Whoa, fuck!
Okay, this place is freaking haunted.
Casey, we gotta move studios, cause we got a ghost problem.
Imagine the hunky ass ghost.
Wait, Casey, he died ten years ago.
Today!
Whoa!
See, he haunts the bar verde to this very day. Guys, a lot of great thumbnail faces in this episode,
by the way.
I hope you're watching this.
Thank you.
I hope, Emma, these are great thumbnail faces we're making.
Jordan's Book Fellow.
Yeah, I know, and with the spooky content of the book,
that, yeah. Youth Goof. There it is right there. Great excuse to hold it up for the camera. Jordan's book fellow. Yeah, I know and with the spooky content of the book that
Youth goes for it is right there to hold it up for the camera pre-order that wherever you buy books
I'm still one of the scariest movies. Yeah, I said this year that the shining movie maybe moved above and then I
Went crazy and thought my house was haunted. So the exorcist has moved back up. I'm terrifying. It's terrifying movie
Wait, what was I saying when the book fell over? Oh
has moved back up, I believe. Fucking terrifying.
It's terrifying. Scary movie.
Wait, what was I saying when the book fell over?
Oh, oh yes. You were talking about.
I saw Warren Beatty in real life.
Yes.
And he's, you know, whatever, 70 something years old
at the time. He looks fucking great.
He's a hunk. Yeah.
He looks good on, but the Tracy zooms in,
whatever special he did to keep the rights for Dick Tracy.
Oh right, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. They get there.
I mean, this was whenever, you know I mean, this was whenever a few years ago
when Gary Shanling does.
Yeah, no, this was, I think, his most recent public appearance
was Tracy Zooms In.
I think we were talking about this pre-pod.
Men our moms were horny for.
Yeah, that's right.
Or maybe a legend of making moms horny.
Big time, yeah.
Huge.
My mom liked, what's his name? The Scott guy. And I forgot it. Sean Connery. Sean. Big time, yeah. Huge. My mom liked, what's his name, the Scott guy.
And I forgot it.
Sean Connery.
Sean Connery, yeah.
That helps me remember his name.
Sean Connery.
She always is the last king of Scotland.
And I'm like, I was saying to you guys,
like, I can tell my mom is horny for Sean Connery.
This sucks.
But she loved Sean Connery.
That was her favorite.
She talked about how he was so handsome as Bond
and stuff like that.
But we each had, our moms had good taste.
Yeah, my mom's always like Robert Redford.
Redford?
Robert Redford.
Gail likes Tom Selleck.
Selleck.
Yeah.
And Armin's mom was with me that night
and she was loving Warren Beatty.
Yeah, boy.
It was-
The wooden.
Yeah, great.
Classic hunks.
Classic hunks. These are some of the hunks.
Now our hunks work at HeadGum, what's happening?
Why does it, all these guys should go out
and fucking go to an audition.
What the hell are they doing?
There's some good hunks out there.
There's some, you know, there's some-
You're an Austin Butler guy.
I do like Austin Butler, yeah.
Like I like that Mike Feist challengers,
it's a hunky guy.
You know who I think the greatest hunk of all was?
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
Hey, let me tell you about that.
You don't have to drink to have a good time.
My experience was so different because Cardinal Law was
literally at my confirmation, which I've said before.
So like the bad guy from Spotlight.
From Spotlight, yeah. Kind of get anointed you and was like, the bad guy from... Spotlight. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of, he anointed you, and was like,
-"Good job keeping quiet." -"But, like..."
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, and they don't really tour anymore,
but have you heard that guy's ska band?
It's still great.
Cardinal Lawless or whatever it is now.
They do Riot Fest once a year year and there's fucking tight still.
I feel great.
I had, I just had a, I thought a bug flew into my ear.
Yeah.
It wasn't a bug, but I got very nervous.
So I don't know if you saw that weird reaction from me.
What was it?
I don't know, but it might've been a bug.
Might've been a bug.
Yeah, I have no idea.
I don't think it was.
I didn't see a bug fly into your ear.
Okay.
Sorry, I was freaked out for a second there.
No.
Is this the spookiest episode of Doughboys ever?
It's pretty spooky.
I mean, there is weird shit going on now.
Something's going on in this fucking weird ass studio
with this whack ass couch.
Is it the fucking couch?
It might be the couch.
Wait a minute.
I think the couch is haunted.
Where do they get this fucking couch?
The dumpster?
No, we get the couch. Wait a minute. I think the couch is haunted. Where do they get this fucking couch? The dumpster? No, we get the couch from the dumpster.
From an estate sale where someone may be murdered
on the couch?
Oh my God.
Turn over the cushions, are they covered in blood?
Is this from the Tate LaBianca house?
Is that where this is from?
Dear Lord.
Wow.
You're sitting on a murder couch.
I believe that I am.
By the way, that reminded me of,
I remember we were shooting DVD extras for the Hangover.
It was me and Hanford.
Yeah.
I believe they never got you,
I wonder if they did get you.
Like you were in like,
like Hangover themed sketches
that they were gonna put on the DVD?
Yes, I was Zach Galifianakis,
I believe Hanford was Ed Helm, I was Zach Galifianakis,
I believe Hanford was Ed Helm.
It was like very weird
when we were reenacting what was happening.
Okay.
And they were, like, I think we were gonna like,
it was like the guys telling the story
and then it was us reenacting it.
Okay.
And they rented a little place on Sunset Boulevard.
This is a gross bad story.
But they rented a motel,
like a motel room on Sunset Boulevard to shoot, a gross bad story, but we they rented a motel like a motel room on Sunset Boulevard
Just shoot you know this gigantic blockbuster movie to shoot the the DVD extras
And they're like jump on the bed and like you guys are like having fun
And we were like doing that and they're like now turn over the bed
And we turn over the bed and there was a huge black stain on the bottom
They like plant that for you to find, or?
No.
It wasn't there where they were like, okay, all right, well, let's put the bed back on
the bed.
Like, yeah, oh, shit.
So I put this knife in a Ziploc bag and...
Who was, wait, did you say who was playing Bradley Cooper?
Ooh, I forget who was playing Bradley Cooper.
But it was not another birthday boy.
No, it was not.
It was not all birthday boys. Got, it was not. It was not.
It was not.
It was not all birthday boys.
Got it.
Who was it?
How did you get cast in this?
I met with Scott Armstrong.
Who direct?
No, no.
What's his name?
Scott Armstrong was one of the writers.
Was one of the writers.
Maybe I either met with Scott Armstrong
or what's his name?
The director.
Yes.
I think I met with the Joker director guy.
Yes, Todd Phillips.
Todd Phillips.
I mean, it was one of those things that were like,
we're gonna pay you a hundred bucks.
I mean, it was like, it was a early day thing.
We were all doing shit like that back then.
But anyways, it was a sort of thing where like,
even then we're like, even jumping on the bed,
we're like, this is nasty.
Yes, yeah.
Would you like to think that that's like,
oh, those motels, they're fine.
You're overreacting, but this one was not.
No.
Sunset Boulevard, don't stay in a motel
on Sunset Boulevard.
But you can get a great burger at Ronnie's Market.
There you go.
There you go.
That's way down the other side.
That's way down the other side.
Look, enough about bloodied mattresses.
Yes, let's get to you.
So you had the burger, you had the fries.
I had the burger and fries.
Wait, did you like the fries?
Just a little too much rosemary, but they were good.
Yeah, you mentioned that. It was confusing because it was like, the burger and fries. Wait, did you like the fries? Just a little too much rosemary, but they were good. Yeah, you mentioned that.
It was confusing because it was like,
the burger mentions all the stuff that says aioli,
and I was like, oh, there's aioli on the burger,
but there's mayo on the burger,
and then there was a kind of a side of pink aioli,
which was maybe a little too sweet to put on the burger.
It was like a weird-
Was that supposed to be a fry sauce? I think it was a I think it was a fry sauce
I think you could put on your burger, but the burger was pretty heavily mayowed
and then I
Said mayo and my stomach rumbled
That's sad
I'm hungry. What do you want from me?
But I was I was kind of putting ketchup and and that a-hole a-hole on there
I was having a blast. and that aioli on there.
I was having a blast.
It was a thick burger.
We got so many of these smash patties.
Yeah, big bun.
It was definitely like a burger from 10 years ago.
Yes, yeah.
And I kind of was loving it.
You took a bite of that bad boy, juicy guy-wise.
It was yummy, good burger.
So I feel like we kind of touch on all aspects of the menu
with our different entrees.
And Jordan, you got yourself a steak.
I did, I got the strip steak, it had herb butter,
it had a side of asparagus and roasted potatoes.
I love this move so much.
I thought it was a real power move.
There's something just fun about saying like,
yep, I'm going to Nordstrom's,
I'm gonna get a belt and a steak.
I need black socks for a wedding and a steak.
Every part of the cow.
You get a leather jacket, a belt and eat a steak. I eat black socks for a wedding and a steak.
You get a leather jacket, a belt and eat a steak.
You've used up a lot of cow.
You're being responsible in a way.
Right, right, right, exactly.
Yeah, so yeah, I thought about the lunch salad.
I thought about one of the sandwiches,
but I'm like, well, this is kind of fun
and we're seeing what this place is all about.
I'll get the steak.
And yeah, really tasty.
Kind of like, yeah, I mean, it had herb butter all over it.
So a steak with herb butter is gonna be good.
The veggies were nice.
They were maybe a little under-seasoned,
but tasty and I think just nice to be at a mall restaurant
where you can get a vegetable.
So yeah, I think that's a big draw of this place
is that you're at a mall mall you're having a shopping day
Here's a place where you can get something of substance. You got a leather jacket a leather belt wise you got a leather mask
I'm not sure what
Material the ball gag was but was it there was leather that strapped it to your face But there was the ball made of leather too, or it's a different sort of it
Actually, I detached that and then drill a little hole into it and gave it to my dad to use as a nose.
So.
That's great.
That's great.
We, I thought you're, I like that they have steak.
I like that they have, I've gotten like their entrée section
of the menu, they have just like, you know,
you can get like a chicken entree,
you can get like a piece of salmon,
you can get yourself a flat iron steak like you did.
I've gotten the fish and chips from that section of the menu
before, when Ali and I have gone.
And I think that's good.
I like that they just have straight up dinners there.
Yeah.
I thought it was a great move.
I tried a bite of your steak, you were very gracious,
give me a bite of your steak.
Yeah, it was really nice.
And it was fantastic, I thought.
Tasty steak.
I thought you did.
I thought you did.
It was a great order.
But what you mentioned of the paucity of seasoning
is kind of like a general note for this place.
I feel like they use a light hand with the seasoning overall,
and I think that's probably just because they're at a mall
and they're accommodating all palates.
Right.
Yeah, the burger wasn't fully, like, wasn't super seasoned either.
It's surprisingly people like just like plain food,
at least in America.
There seems to be a large part of the population
that just does not want much seasoning on things
or is just not accustomed to it.
I was happy with all of it, though.
I mean, your salmon was probably the only thing
that was weirdly cooked.
That was a real disappointment.
But what was not a disappointment
was quite the obvious, what was a delightful surprise.
Another pitch from our server, our dessert,
the white chocolate bread pudding.
This is white chocolate and raspberry sauces,
fresh raspberries and whipped cream.
This was delightful.
My God, this was good.
I couldn't believe how good this was.
Yeah, like, yeah, like, having a great time.
This is a pretty good meal.
I was not expecting to be floored by something.
It was great. It was so good.
It was delicious. It was legitimately delicious.
And I'm not a huge white chocolate fan.
Me neither.
But I was enjoying that quite a bit.
We made a joke that it looked like,
because we were talking about going to the bathroom
and all jacking off.
Yeah, we're all going to go into the bathroom
and jack off together.
I think the idea is that because it was white chocolate
and then raspberry sauce, so I think we were joking about,
and correct me if I'm wrong here,
I think we were joking about how it looks like the you know, the blood and the cum we would make
when we were all jacking off.
We were all jacking off. We were all going to one stall.
Yeah.
This is true.
This is all true.
This is not a bit right now.
I'm realizing that we were.
We are rehashing an actual conversation
that we had at a mall full of families.
A lot of families at this place.
Why, I was going to see who could jack off the quickest or something like that?
Yeah, the idea is like maybe we had a plain bread pudding and then that was after we went
to work on it.
We would jack off on it.
I think like the idea is like we would jack off so hard that our dicks would bleed.
Yes, yeah.
So yeah, that was like where that came from.
The genesis of that bit.
I just wanted to bring that up,
that we had been talking about that.
It was good that you did.
But it was, but you know what?
The dessert was delicious.
My God, it was good.
It was really yummy.
In a testament, the reason we could make that joke
is because the plate was clean
besides that some white chocolate sauce
and some red raspberries stains.
It was a clean plate.
It was fantastic.
Fresh raspberries were a really nice touch,
but I just thought it was delightful.
And you know the thing they do sometimes,
you'll get like that little sidecar or whatever.
Here was just on the plate of whipped cream.
You always want there to be like a little bit too much
and there was.
There was enough where if you wanted whipped cream
with every bite, you'd have enough.
You made like the Simpsons and you tapped out
pretty early on.
Pfft.
We had, I had like, here's the thing.
I had some big bites and I had like a little bit
of a reach too, so I feel like I had a few like really
big bites early on and I felt like it was kind of like
dominating the bread pudding, so I backed off.
I was also starting to get full, so.
Yeah, it was, what a great lunch all around.
It really was, delightful.
I got a decaf coffee with that,
a nice little cup of Joe, yeah, great.
Arnold Palmer's, AKA Nick Weigars.
They were very, they were pretty good.
You can't just steal the Arnold Palmer.
You just can't do it.
You can't.
It's kind of my own take on it.
He didn't make it.
You just asked the.
Yeah.
When you're having it.
Yeah, it's Nick Weigars, yeah.
Sure.
So everything's a Nick Weigars?
Every food or drink you get?
Just the Arnold Palmer.
Okay.
Makes sense.
When it's two-thirds iced tea and one-third lemonade.
Which is like how Arnold Palmer wanted it, by the way.
It's become a half and a half by default.
So you know, it's because its meaning has shifted over time.
Now we need someone to reclaim the two-thirds, one-thirds ratio.
You don't get it.
You're not getting it.
I might get it. You don't get it. You're not getting it. I might get it. You don't get it.
Overall, what a fantastic Memorial Day.
Yes, it really was.
What a great way to honor fallen heroes.
It is. I mean, at a big mall in Americana.
Eating at Nordstrom's with two guys you didn't broth with.
God bless Americana.
Yes, God bless the Americana. Let's get to our final thoughts on...
Because those people, you know, it is the truth, because of people who gave their lives for us, we got to do zip zap zop for...
Yes, thank you.
...seven years, eight years.
Some of us still... are you in the improv game at all still
or no?
I haven't done improv in a long time.
I've done it on some podcasts.
Very funny improviser, very, very funny.
Okay, thank you, thank you, nice of you to say.
Yeah, I've done it on some podcasts,
but I haven't done stage improv in some time.
I'm doing it a little bit more again
and I don't know if I should just retire.
Is it fun, are you having a good time?
It's fun, but also as a a 41-year-old being like,
oh, man, did I like fuck up that beat or whatever?
You're like, I don't know if I want to do this anymore.
Did I heighten the game? What would Del have said?
Yeah, I know, sure.
Um, yeah, but I mean, I think with, you know,
when you do a lot of podcasting like us,
uh, you know, it goes out there and there's fans
and you love them, but sometimes that feedback is nice
and sometimes hearing that laugh and being around other folks is nice.
Yeah. I understand wanting to do it.
What would Del say?
Have you seen the blob remake?
I mean that.
That's probably what Del would say.
Yeah.
I didn't know Del, so it's fun to make fun of Del close.
He would have liked our blood and cum thing, I think.
I think he would have.
I think he would have.
I think he would have liked it.
All right, so let's get to our final thoughts
on Nordstrom's Bar Verde.
Jordan, you're a veteran of the podcast.
You know how this works.
But we will each go around.
We'll give our closing argument, if you will,
and then end that by giving a score from zero to five forks.
Jordan, sitting to my right, your thoughts,
your fork score on Bar Verde.
Yeah, it's tough because I don't know
if I'm ever going to be like, oh, what's for lunch today?
Gotta do bar verde.
And maybe like if this was,
cause I feel like I wanna think of like,
if this was just a standalone restaurant
in my neighborhood and I didn't have to like park at a mall,
would I just go here?
And I think I probably would occasionally.
It's tasty and gets the job done,
but like nothing super memorable or unique
other than the bread pudding, which was fucking killer.
And I probably will go, if I'm ever at the Americana
and craving something sweet,
I'm not gonna stand in line at that Cinnabon husk,
even though Cinnabons are great,
but yeah, I probably will go up, sit at the bar Casey style,
just say, keep the bread puddings coming.
Keep them. I'll tell you when to stop, I'll say.
Uh, so yeah, I think other than that,
everything was like tasty, but not super special in any way.
So like, I don't know. I don't know what to think.
And then, but when we were walking out,
it had gotten more crowded.
And I'm like, oh, every table here has kids at it.
This is like a place for parents to go
when they're having a shopping day,
get a little glass of wine,
get something with veggies in it.
The kids can get kids' stuff,
and like, you're not just jamming
a Wetzel's Pretzels in your face.
Yeah, or I don't have to grab a beeper
and wait 45 minutes for a table at the Cheesecake Factory.
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe Cheesecake Factory is the comparable option at that mall,
and it's always packed. So yeah, exactly.
Go to Bar Verde and, you know, feel like a human,
feel like a grown-up.
Yeah, and the kids can play iPad.
So yeah, I think at that, it does a really great job.
So I think maybe I would give this place
an honorable three forks.
Wow, three forks.
I think that like- Three forks, okay.
I think there should be an honorable three fork.
Like this place is nailing its thing.
Wow.
And I probably will go back,
but under a certain set of circumstances.
So I think that like my experience with y'all,
two of the funniest guys I know.
Five forks and then some.
But yeah, I think the restaurant is a solid,
respectable, honorable three forks.
Wow. Three forks.
Good score.
Grab a beeper for a cheesecake, right?
Are you going with the Muppets?
Beaker.
Beaker was the Muppet.
Speaking of Muppets.
Yeah.
Save it. Pull it out of the Muppet. Speaking of Muppets. Yeah. Save it.
Pulling out of the tailspin.
A great Muppet once said, it ain't easy being green.
His name was Kermit the Frog.
That's right.
But at Bar Verde, life is easy.
Bar Verde, Verde means green.
That's right.
Bar Verde, life is easy. I. Bar Verde life is easy.
I thought I saved it pretty fucking good if you ask me.
That's why we're laughing is because of how good it is.
Life is easy at Bar Verde.
It sure is.
I was happy up there.
It reminded me of being a child going on, you know, trips with my grandma.
Sure.
Even on a day where I was nearly shitting my pants, I was, I was having a great time up there looking down like the collective soul video, the world I know.
Beautiful day.
Kermit, one of America's heroes on one of America's great holidays, Memorial Day.
Kermit, one of America's heroes, on one of America's great holidays, Memorial Day. I could have sat there.
We spent a good chunk of time there.
We were there for two hours.
Yeah, we were there for a while.
I could have spent three more hours there.
I would have been so happy.
I thought the food was a lot better than I thought it was going to be for what it's trying
to do, which look is like Nordstrom.
Nordstrom is, I want to say Nordstrom.
It's like a little fancy, right?
But it's not like super fancy.
It's like, it's like fancy, fancy, affordable.
I mean, it's like where people go for a category is like achievable.
Fancy.
I think if you're not, you know, if you are hanging around middle class and you want an elevated experience,
it's a little more than that,
but, you know, you're not gonna break the bank.
But you can spend $300 on a shirt.
Sure, yeah.
I mean, I know it is fancy in a way,
and I'm saying there's a lot of, you know,
there's a lot of families that can't chop it,
Nordstrom, for sure.
But it is, you know, like, if you're getting a suit or something, it is like, it's a place
that people go and affordable fancy is kind of like you were saying.
And I, look, I got, when I did my premiere for, when I went to the Tomorrow War premiere,
I got fitted at a Nordstrom in Braintree, Massachusetts, and the person there loved it,
and they were being so helpful.
And it didn't break the bank.
I got like a sports jacket and a shirt, and it was great.
So I like Nordstrom just in general.
I think it's a decent store.
I don't know about the Swedes that own it.
I know that you talked about that.
I don't know the whole background.
Well, it's a Swedish American guy.
I think it's American owned company currently.
Could be wrong.
Probably owned by some awful private equity firm,
like everything.
I think that that Barverde does everything
that it's trying to do.
And I think the food is better than I thought it would be.
And my experience was so good that I can't go below four,
four, because I had just such
a great time with Jordan and with you, Ikes.
And yeah, I loved it.
And God bless the Muppets, one of the America's, you know, one of the classic.
Consistently funny to this day.
I love them.
Yeah.
I love that Muppet Treasure Island.
Oh yeah, great movie.
You know, Red, White, and Blue?
Christmas Carol is also great.
It could be green, pink, and purple for Kermit, Piggy,
and Gonzo.
Yes, change the flag.
Change the flag is what I'm trying to say.
Purple?
He's maybe a little more blue.
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
I got you with doing Gonzo.
He is purple, I don't know.
I mean, he is like blue, he is blue, he's blue. Yeah, I think of him more as blue. All right, well fuck you, all right? I was just trying I got it. I got you with doing Johnson. I don't know. I mean he is like blue, I don't know, he is blue. He's blue.
Yeah, I think of him more as blue.
All right, well fuck you, all right?
I was just trying to make it work.
I think it works great.
Change the flag.
Change the flag.
Change the flag.
Green, pink, and blue.
What a, it would be nice.
And orange for Walter.
Why not?
Everyone's favorite Muppet.
Everyone's favorite Muppet.
I hope next Memorial Day we're saluting a flag of those colors. Yeah, why not? Everyone's favorite Muppet.
I hope next Memorial Day we're saluting a flag of those colors.
It's green and pink and purple.
And instead of stars, it has Walter's head.
It's Walter's head.
A flag I'll salute any day.
I had a great time at the Bar Verde with my buddies,
and I have been to Bar Verde at the Nordstrom
a number of times.
Natalie and I have gone there.
It's a great little date spot.
It's nice and casual.
And also, here's the thing.
Who did Natalie go with?
I think...
Kasey and Natalie go and get fucked up.
Go shot for shot.
Father was like, ugh, dick.
It's like that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark
where Karen Allen's in the barn.
Fucking Weiger. Natalie calls me Weiger.
Anyway, so it's a great little spot for a small party.
I'm not sure how they are accommodating big parties.
It doesn't feel like they have the infrastructure for that. But that's also not like why you're not going spot for a small party. I'm not sure how they are accommodating big parties.
Doesn't feel like they have the infrastructure for that,
but that's also not like why you're not going there
for an event necessarily.
Like this, for me, the big thing is,
and your point is well taken, Jordan,
and if this was a standalone restaurant,
I probably wouldn't go out of my way to go there.
But it's inseparable in my mind from Nordstrom,
because that's the context in which you find it.
Like I'm at Nordstrom, I'm at the mall,
I'm doing something else, I have some other priority, some other agenda, and there's the context in which you find it. Like I'm at Nordstrom, I'm at the mall, I'm doing something else.
I have some other priorities, some other agenda, and there's a bar Verde there.
Hey, you know what?
This is a nice option that maybe sometimes kind of feels like, oh, this
is a thing I know about.
This is like, did you know it on the top floor of Nordstrom?
There's a restaurant you can go up there and they serve alcohol.
Secretness is kind of fun.
That's kind of fun.
There's, there's usually there's more traditional out, like, you know, sit
down restaurants at any, any mall, but like the uniqueness of it is part of the fun of it, I can go to California pizza, like, you know, sit down restaurants at any mall,
but like the uniqueness of it is part of the fun of it.
I can go to California Pizza Kitchen anywhere,
you know, but I can go to Bar Verde only at the Snorj Drum.
We should, we should, you really got into the secret side of it.
When we met up with you, you were wearing like
eyes wide shut mask and robe.
Yeah.
They have a blindfolded piano player at the Bar Verde.
Yeah, yeah, that's the thing, the blindfold slipped a little bit
and you could say his eyes were going wild
at everything that he was saying.
Yeah, all the fucking and sucking.
Yeah.
At the Bar Verde A.
I hope it all works out for Nick Nightingale,
that's all I'm saying.
That Todd Crews' character?
Nick Nightingale is the pianist,
is Todd Field's character.
Todd Field, director of Tar,
one of my favorite movies in recent years.
Oh yeah.
What a career.
You're in a Kubrick's movie,
you're the piano player in Eyes Wide Shut,
his final film is his masterpiece,
and then 20 years later you make a masterpiece of your own.
And then you marry Mrs. Fields.
And you take her last name.
Wow.
And you have all the cookies you want.
That's a dream come true. Wouldn't that be great?
Being married to Mrs. Fields.
Out there, Mrs. Fields.
Call Mitch.
He's sliding through those DMs.
To quote the great collective soul.
Wow.
Whoa, heaven let your light shine.
Down.
Down.
And I felt like the heavens light was shining down on us on that veranda outside of Bar Verde.
I love this one. And feeling like life was easy being green. Down. Down, and I felt like the heaven's light was shining down on us on that veranda outside of Bar Verde.
I love this one.
And feeling like life was easy being green.
It was.
Because Verde means green.
It was.
Kermit would have had a song, sang a different tune.
Had a delightful time.
Who's at the piano?
I think all their menu items are fine to good.
And I like that they have alcohol.
And I just like that it exists.
It's fun.
So I'm going to be in a handholding club with Mitch
and I'm gonna say this is a four forker for me.
I really like Nordstrom's Bar Fair Day.
Man, the Muppets at Eyes Wide Shut would be fun.
That would be fun.
That would be a fun movie to remake with Muppets, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why is it called Bar Green or like basically Bar Green?
I'm not sure, I don't know.
I couldn't find a source on the name.
Yeah. Yeah.
I loved it, a great day with two funny friends, a great day.
I think to maybe like,
The funniest.
It could be the kind of thing,
you're a sweetie bitch, right back at you.
I think Bar Verde kind of sounds like,
if again, you're just a dad at a mall,
you're like, oh, Bar Verde, it sounds like a nice thing
if you don't quite understand its meaning.
If you interrogate it all, it's just like,
this seems kind of nonsense.
But whatever, that's a lot of names and things.
Yeah, isn't like Haagen-Dazs kind of just a nonsense word
that vaguely sounds fancy?
So yeah, I guess kind of going along with Nordstrom's,
here's a little peek at luxury.
Maybe it's just like, these are two words.
We should say that we were going to do a bit where we were all
going to buy new clothes from Nordstrom
and wear them on the show.
Yeah.
And then we realized that was gonna be
a really expensive bit.
Yeah, we were gonna spend like $1,000 on that bit.
Just wearing a kind of normal shirt.
Yeah.
And we also were gonna have to, like,
it would have taken probably an hour to do it.
Yeah, because you can't just buy like,
oh, this is funny, I'll buy this one again.
It costs $300.
You gotta try stuff on.
Although they'll take anything back,
so we could have just left the tags on and then, you know.
Yeah.
But then we're like, this blood and cum thing is free.
This is free and easy.
It was like, I guess we should have stepped on that earlier.
It was.
There was a piano player, Todd Fields,
and Kermit was blindfolded playing the piano the banjo
He was a piano player in Kubrick's last movie and then made a movie about a composer
Connections connections. There's a lot of those
Yeah, it was weird cuz like people were and fucking, but then there were weird CGI PlayStation
2 caliber models blocking them so you couldn't see.
Yeah.
They didn't want the Bar Verde to get the NC-17.
Yeah, yeah.
Kubrick would have wanted it, but he died during the editing.
Yeah, but it was really, really crude looking.
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All right, welcome back.
Hey, if you're an eagle-eyed viewer
and you're watching here on YouTube,
you may have noticed something changed in our tableau.
That's right.
They're gonna be a really eagle-eyed viewer
to see this gigantic thing.
It's time for our segment.
I've got a mystery drink or drinks in this case.
Enjoyment Mitch must guess what they are.
It's the Weiger Challenge 2.0,
courtesy of our associate producer, Amelia Marino,
who put this all together. Thank you, Amelia.
Amelia, this is great.
Yeah. Beautiful.
Thank you.
This episode is coming out on July 11th,
7-Eleven, as we would say in the States.
And as such, these are all 7-Eleven Slurpees.
So we have five different flavors.
They are labeled one to five from stage right
to stage left over here.
And so you can each take your tastes and get your guesses
and we'll see who has the highest score at the end.
Also as an added twist, one of these Slurpees is resting on top of a Funko Pop
of JJ Abrams.
So if you can guess the JJ Slurpee,
you'll get an extra point.
So six points are available here.
Wow.
All right.
Jordan, would you like to go for, how should we do this?
Should we go one and one, two and two or should?
Good question.
Should we do it one at a time?
What were you thinking, Amelia?
I feel like maybe we should just take them one by one.
That's what I was thinking.
Okay, great.
So we'll start with number one and work our way over.
Do you want to, yeah, I mean, I'll go first.
I'll go first.
You go first.
And we have two separate straws here.
I'm going short straw.
All right, so Jordan is gonna be taking the short straws
for each of these.
Two different green straws.
Maybe I'll move this backwards a little bit.
Okay, so we're-
No, no, no, it's perfect.
We're adjusting the table a little bit
as Jordan is trying to lean over it to get himself a sip.
The first sip is being taken.
Is this the most comfortable way
you've ever drank a Slurpee?
He has taken the first sip.
The first sip has been taken.
Do I guess now?
I think you can, yeah, you can let Mitch take a sip
and then you can each guess.
But what do you, you can give us any impressions
if you want right now.
Yeah, tangy little citrus.
Okay.
Mitch has also taken a sip at this point.
Okay. Okay.
Little sunscreeny.
What?
Classic Slurpee flavor.
I might have just been made for me.
A little bit sunscreeny.
Is that because you're usually wearing sunscreen
when you eat a Slurpee?
That is often probably true.
Yeah, maybe.
But it is, I'm gonna take a little sip.
It's a summertime treat.
Yeah.
I'm saying yes, it's fine It's a summertime treat. Is that okay? Yeah.
I'm saying yes, it's fine with me.
I've mentioned this before,
but Nellie and I used to get Slurpees all the time.
We'd get like a Coke Slurpee.
It was like when people would get an afternoon coffee,
we'd go do that.
And then at a certain point, I was like,
I wonder how bad, this can't be that bad.
I looked it up, it was like 400 calories.
I couldn't believe how much sugar I was drinking. Um, okay, so I think I'm ready to guess.
Yeah, I'm ready to guess on this.
Should we go one by one?
Yeah, why don't we alternate?
Who goes first and who guesses first?
Okay.
Yeah, I'm ready to guess.
I think this is the JJ one,
because I can taste the lens flare.
I made that joke before the camera started,
and I thought it went well, so I thought I'd do it again.
I think this is lemon lime.
Maybe it's like branded in some way,
like with the, you know, 7-Up or whatever replaced
Sierra Mist, but.
Damn, that's a good guess.
Yeah, I think lemon lime.
Lemon lime is the guess.
I got a little bit of a lemon flavor,
but I also got a bit of a mango flavor,
so I was gonna say some sort of mango,
mango Fanta or something like that.
I mean, I'm maybe very off.
I'm usually pretty good at guessing games.
Yeah, you'd kind of nail the Weigert challenge usually, right?
Mitch has a winning record in the Weigert challenge.
I don't think I can give either of you a point here.
First off, it's not the JJ one.
Is it fruit?
JJ didn't do it here.
Is it fruity?
Like fruit punch?
This is a fruit one.
The fruit though in question is peach.
This is perfect peach flavor.
Ah, peach.
Jamo, yeah.
I didn't get any peach from that.
Yeah.
Mango not bad.
I mean like for 7-Eleven, I mean still pretty bad,
but you know.
We'll keep going.
It's closer than peach, but it's closer than lemon lime.
I was gonna say that because it wasn't super sweet.
Yeah.
Which like a lot of peach stuff is weirdly sweet, but a peach, it's like kind of a decent
job of being, of representing a peach flavor.
Do you want to take another sip now and see if it's any peachier?
Which is gonna take us at another evaluation sip.
Are you getting any peach now?
That's so peachy, I'd give Mario rock hard if he catch my brick.
Man, I didn't think anything could be Clown Dad.
I didn't think anything could be Clown Dad.
And then fucking here it comes, Mario's rock hard.
This number two has a menacing face over it.
I'm gonna, oh, Wiger Challenge 2.0.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go first for the second.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we should explain what would this,
so Amelia has written Wiger Challenge 2.0
on top of this cardboard rig,
and then with Inside the Zero,
has drone like a little nefarious smiley face.
All right, Mitch has taken his first sip of number two.
I think that that's cherry.
OK, I'm going to I'll go in for mine.
Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I was supposed to say.
I just I just have had that the fuck.
I'm one I'm going to say that, hmm.
I think I think JJ is either two or in two or three.
But with the menacing face, I think that JJ is under two.
And I'm going to say that this is cherry.
And Jordan, what do you want to say?
Yeah, it tastes like traditional cherry to me.
I know it doesn't do anything for the game
if we both guessed the same thing.
No, I think that's the answer.
I think cherry is the answer.
But it's kind of an off cherry.
It doesn't taste exactly like the cherry.
I know.
What else could it?
I mean, do they have a strawberry? Do they have a strawberry banana? Yeah, I think it is cherry. It doesn't taste exactly like the cherry. What are like, I mean, do they have a strawberry? Do they have a strawberry banana?
Yeah, I think it is cherry though.
I'm not gonna let you guys overthink it
cause it is cherry.
You both are gonna get a point here.
Classic Slurpee flavor.
We did it, great job.
Thank you.
Unfortunately-
Looks like JJ, we did it.
Mitchie, we're home.
This is the thing, once again,
JJ didn't do it in this case.
This one is not on top of the JJ Funko Pops.
Fuck, no.
Here's the JJ.
Yeah.
I'll let you keep guessing.
All right, we each get one more guess.
Each get one more guess.
All right, number three.
So there's a chance that we both still don't get it
and it's one we don't guess, but we'll see.
You each have a point.
Number three is up.
Okay, I'll go first.
This is my first.
Jordan, you can go first here.
Yeah.
I believe you drank out of the tall straw, by the way.
That's kind of bad.
Is that a prank flavor?
None of these are prank flavors.
They're all legitimate.
Did you do the tall straw flavor?
Oh gosh, sorry.
I think I did the shorty,
but I think the long straw did touch my face a lot.
That's fine.
I don't care about that.
And also I would share a straw with you and his.
You know what? I don't care. In fact,. That's fine. I don't care about that. And also I would share a straw with you and his, you know what, I don't care.
In fact, maybe I'll sip from both straws.
That's your right, Mitch.
Yes, a hero.
Change the flag.
Mitch is taking his sip.
I don't know.
This is a tough one.
Is it like, is it just like a generic tropical?
Is it like something like that?
Is it like tropical burst or something?
That is a great question.
No Googling Slurpee flavors over there.
I'm not Googling Slurpee flavors.
In fact, I was Googling something else for a joke.
I'm sorry I interrupted.
I'm gonna go full Rupert Holmes here and say,
I like Pina Colada.
Maybe a Colada flavor. I think, I like pina colada.
Pina colada flavor.
Yeah.
Maybe pina colada flavor.
A lot of people would have said go full Jimmy Buffett,
but common misconception.
Common misconception.
But the whole song, yeah.
Common misconception about that song.
It tastes like a prank flavor,
it tastes smokier than a pina colada.
Yeah.
But my guess is pina colada or coconut
or something like that.
But I'll go with pina colada
and I'm gonna burn my second JJ pick
because I said two or three.
And so, even though I don't think it's three,
but I'm gonna say JJ is under here and it's pina colada.
Jordan, you have a guess here.
Okay, I'm just gonna say,
I think you're probably right, Mitch,
and I trust your palate here,
but just to have a little spice just in case,
I'm gonna just say this is Tropical Burst.
I don't know if that's a flavor.
Seems like something they would call a Slurpee.
I think it's a good guess.
Thank you.
Tropical Burst is a good guess.
I think that you're probably closest
because this is not distinctly Piña Colada,
but I still don't, I don't know if I can give
either of you a point.
Amelia, what do you think?
Mitch was on the right track when he said
it was a little smoky.
Yes.
It's missed call.
Whoa, what the fuck?
This is, the flavor is.
I was?
I put a cigarette butt in it before.
That's what I was tasting.
That's what I was tasting.
The flavor is chili mango.
Chili mango is the flavor.
And I guessed mango earlier. Yeah. That is a prank flavor. Chili mango is the flavor. And I guessed mango earlier.
Yeah.
That is a prank flavor.
Got mango on the brain.
Yeah.
Well, it's like all the characters in the mango sketch.
You become obsessed with mango.
Pretty funny.
Pretty funny sketch.
But I must say, Mitch, JJ did it here.
You get a point for guessing the JJ one.
Yes!
You found the JJ.
I knew it was two or three. I knew it was in two or three. Okay, Mitch, JJ did it here. You get a point for guessing what JJ won. You found the JJ.
I knew it was two or three.
You found the hit JJ.
I knew it was in two or three.
So it's one point to nothing all based on JJ.
No, you each have one.
Cause you each got cherry correctly.
You both nailed cherry.
All right, so sorry.
He's under there thinking of a bunch of monsters
that all look similar.
All right, so I'll take a first sip here.
All right, number four is up. Which I think I guessed first. It's fine, you can guess first this time. I'm sorry that all look similar. All right, so I'll take a first sip here. All right, number four is up.
Which I think I guessed first, it's fine.
You can guess first this time, I'm sorry that I did that.
Is Mitch drinking this this way,
making Doughboy viewers, listeners horny in some ways?
I think so, I have to say both of you doing this,
it looks like you're filleting these straws.
Ah, sure, sure, yes.
Having to get on your knees and lean over is very-
You're welcome, YouTube viewers.
Have fun jacking off, weirdos.
This tastes like another prank flavor.
Mitch is saying prank flavor.
Another prank flavor.
This is maybe at the height of
what does Jemmy think is going on here?
She's just staring into the distance.
This one is maybe actively bad.
Yeah, I'm not nuts about this one either.
I thought the mango one last time,
I was like, oh, it's a bad pina colada,
but then this one I'm like.
Yeah, real sciencey.
This one is not good.
I wanna taste this one.
Yeah, and I keep going to like,
is this a branded thing?
I think Fanta is a good guess.
Yeah, not nuts about it.
I think-
I like it.
Weiger wanted to taste it, so maybe that's a hint.
Yeah, cum, it's gotta be cum.
Austin butlers cum.
Austin butlers cum.
Yeah, it's a dune tie-in.
You guys were halfway there.
Oh, we can do spice.
We can do, no.
We were halfway there.
Unfortunately, you missed the blood that was mixed in.
Oh, yeah.
You always miss the blood.
I do want to taste this again.
Mitch is going to take another sip.
Ugh.
Are we going to reuse this rig? We have to reuse this rig. I'm just gonna take another sip. Ugh.
Are we gonna reuse this rig? We have to reuse this rig.
This is a great rig, by the way.
This is a re-appropriated factor box.
This is fucking tough.
Yeah.
I know.
I think this is tropical.
You call this one tropical.
Oh shit, I was gonna let you guess.
No, no, no, I think I'm gonna go,
and I didn't see the color in the straw.
I maybe should have looked, but I'm gonna say
it's just that ever-present science flavor blue raspberry.
Just that kinda tart-y, sweetie kinda thing.
Yeah, blue raspberry's my guess.
Um, I can't give, I don't think I can give this
to either of you again. The flavor is dragon fruit.
Do you wanna, Amelia, do you have a,
you feel different?
I feel like tropical should get a half point. The flavor is dragon fruit. Do you want to, Amelia, do you have, do you feel different?
I never would've guessed dragon fruit.
I feel like tropical should get a half point.
Okay, we'll give a half point to Mitch for tropical.
Dragon fruit.
This is dragon fruit.
These are wild 7-Eleven Slurpee flavors.
Well, dragon fruit is an up and coming flavor.
You're seeing that a lot at places.
Yeah, it's kind of a, yeah, it's kind of a hot flavor.
Yeah, Panera will have like a dragon fruit lemonade.
Sure, that'll kill people.
Yeah. All right, we have one left. Yeah. Hey Mitch, have like a dragon fruit lemonade sure that'll kill people
We have one left yeah, hey Mitch. I know what the people want to see you want to Archie and Veronica this thing?
Well we both know what that one is. Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola.
How fitting.
Watching that, I felt like the old guy in Requiem for a Dream.
What?
Straw to ass.
Ass to ass.
Straw to straw.
I hurt my neck while I did that.
Coca-Cola is the answer.
Coca-Cola.
You each get a point here.
This is Coca-Cola.
So yeah, you did great with the classic flavors.
The more exotic flavors you all whiffed on.
Mitch ends up winning the Weiger Challenge 2.0, preserves his winning record on the back,
on the strength of his half point for dragon fruit and his guest of the JJ slurping.
I just want to reveal this for Jordan.
Oh, yeah.
I want to see the fine craftsmanship.
Take a look.
I'll spin this sumbitch around.
Amelia was blocking this with her jacket when we came in.
That's really, that's so cool.
Dragon fruit.
Oh, OK.
And the dragon fruit was purple.
That's interesting to see.
Yeah.
Yes.
Chili and mango, damn, we maybe could
have gotten that in the peach one.
This is the element of the, this is what makes this the Weiger Challenge 2.0, is, we maybe could have gotten that. And the peach one. This is the element of,
this is what makes this the Weiger Challenge 2.0,
is that you do not have your other senses beyond taste.
Typically you can look at these things,
you can smell them, you get up close to them,
but here you really only have flavor to go off.
And I guess, yeah, kind of interesting,
these flavors that companies cook up for these things
are probably less tied to the actual thing
and more just associated with the color or the packaging. It's like that kind of
signals the taste. Yeah. I think it is fascinating to see the colors and sip
them and it feels like a different thing. It's so strange. Mm-hmm. All right, hey
that was the Weigert challenge 2.0. Just like a restaurant of our feedback, let's
open the feedback. And today we- That chili mango one, I don't know if you get to
the bottom of that chili mango one.
Oh yeah, sure, I want a little bit more.
It's a little spice?
I wanna try it.
There is way more spice.
I think I was getting the top of it.
It does have a little kick.
It has a kick, which I did not taste in the first round.
Spicy Slurpee, what an age we live in.
Amelia, did you try any of these?
No, and I don't plan on it.
Yeah.
That is strange.
The smokiness is so prominent.
And then like the, but the burn isn't like, it's not even like pleasant.
You know me, I'm a bit of a heat seeker.
I like, I think things are spicy, but.
You call me Bowser because I'm going to kidnap this peach.
Kind of did your thing.
Yeah, I don't know about this one.
I definitely get more smoke.
I thought you liked it.
Can I try this one again?
I know you were gonna kidnap it.
I'm a Luigi here.
Were any of these low sugar or like no sugar?
Oh yeah.
I took a photo of the.
Which one the bad boy?
Perfect Peach has 5% juice.
Okay. Okay. Pretty healthy. Cherry has 6% juice. Okay. Okay. Pretty healthy cherry has 6% juice. Okay
Blue raspberry was all out
You have the you would I was looking for it. I was kind of looking for it chili mango. It doesn't even say
Like there was none that said that they were low sugar
or anything like that?
Oh, dragon fruit.
Dragon fruit is a low sugar one.
Dragon fruit is no sugar.
But 0% juice.
Because the sugar is juice.
So it's all science.
I got to say, sipping number one over here,
call me by your name, because I gonna chalamet this peach. Yeah.
That's the other peach joke.
There's two of them.
I mean, then the classic cherry and coke flavors
are still the best, right?
I think so.
Not to be a back in my day guy,
but you can't beat those classics.
I actually used to like the pina colada one
back in the day.
Oh yeah?
But cherry, yeah, cherry and coke,
or why is your a big time Coke slurpee.
I used to use that when I was younger.
I didn't like the Coke slurpee because I was like,
you drink Coke with slurpee, it's
going to be a different fun flavor.
I never really got how nice a Coke slurpee can be.
It's so delightful.
And then they were doing a really good one
at Burger King for a time.
I'm not sure if they still have it.
I'm drinking more of the sugar free one,
because now knowing it's sugar free,
I want to taste what it's like.
It's not zero calorie, right? It can't be.
Probably not.
Yeah. But sugar-free, maybe it is just, how else will they make it? I don't know.
Just like a restaurant via your feedback, let's open up the feedback. Today's email is from Paula.
Paula writes, Emily, if you get nutritional info on that one, feel free to chime in.
With the recent closure of nearly 90 Red Lobster locations, I couldn't help but feel sad. I've had
a lot of fun dining experience at red lobster over the years.
And it feels like the end of an era.
What chain restaurant closures have saddened you the most PS.
I love the pod so much.
Please come back to Denver.
I hope you're on the Casa Bonita waiting list.
I've been on it since November, 2023.
Wow.
Quite a queue there.
It's going to start a fight because we've wanted, I've wanted to go and do
cast cast Bonita.
We, we, we, we, we do it. We might do it.onita. We, we, we, we might. I'm not really now.
We do it.
We might do it.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll see.
Um, we got, there are logistics to sort out, but
this is a, this is a doable thing.
Uh, Red Lobster, this will, this will be in the, the
past, uh, this, this, this news story is relatively
recent as of this recording.
When this episode comes out, it will probably be, uh,
have been sold off to some other private equity firm.
Um, but yeah, reading the story of what happened
to red lobster and basically.
I thought you were talking about doughboys.
I was like, we're getting sold?
I didn't know what you meant.
No, red lobster, the chain has a whole thing where
this, this Thai company, uh, bought it up and then
they completely basically just like gutted the
business it's, it's like the mafia bust out
capitalism that you keep seeing.
I've just like, they, they did everything to just
sort of, um, you know,. I've just like, they did everything to just sort of,
you know, bleed its coffers and take all of its resources
to profit the parent corporation
and then ended up kind of bankrupting the actual restaurant.
I kind of said something similar earlier,
but do you think head gum will ever be acquired
by like Abercrombie and Fitch?
It could happen.
Yeah, it's very sad Red Lobster.
We actually, Jordan and Nick,
we had like a big dinner there one night,
a big group of friends.
That was a blast.
That was one of the last 2020 group meals we had.
Do you remember, I don't know if you remember
the timing of that.
We were all there, Kowalik showed up, hammered.
Remember that?
Kowalik, you were drunk that night. You gotta admit, you were fucking drunk, Kowalik. Pollock showed up, hammered. Remember that? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Pollock, you were drunk that night.
You gotta admit, you were fucking drunk, Pollock.
You were shit-faced.
He came over like, let's get some lobster, boys!
You're like, oh, all right!
We didn't invite him.
It seemed like he was just there.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Was that like February 2020?
It was, it was like something like that, yeah.
And also speaking of Denver,
we've said it so many times in the podcast,
but yeah, we were in Denver when we found out with Emma,
when we found out about the pandemic basically
breaking in real time.
And we're all like,
are we gonna have to be inside for a week?
Yeah.
Are we gonna have to be inside all week?
Imagine your last week,
like one of your last few hours of like normalcy
is with Nick and I.
From Salt Lake City. It's like a cheddar biscuit in your mouth. week, like one of your last few hours of like normalcy is with Nick and I.
I don't even part of society anymore.
You, you and Emma both experienced one of your last outings ever.
Nick and me wouldn't change it for the world. Oh, come on now.
We're both still in therapy.
And then I see the same therapist. It's a dual set.
You're both in there.
Yeah.
It does make me sad Red Lobster's going down.
When I was younger, it wasn't like because of Boston.
We've talked about New England.
Lucky with Lobster.
Did not have a lot of penetration in New England.
Yes, penetration is a way you could put it.
The way. Market penetration penetration yeah red lobster didn't
fuck boss red lobster started in a Darden foods I believe started in
Florida and then so like it was it was designed to bring that New England
lobster house experience that the the fish house experience to the rest of the
country yeah and so I didn't but I am sad I mean I've gone there and I've
enjoyed it quite a bit and the Cheddar Bay biscuits are fantastic.
For me, of course, the big one is,
bring them, bring them, bring them,
bring them home some Brighams.
That's the one for me.
I didn't have to sing the song that no one knows.
The ice cream parlor.
You took me to a big Brighams.
I took you to the last, and it's now gone,
the ice cream parlor.
But that was like the last kind of semblance of a Brigham's.
Is that right word there?
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
What did you get, a mocha frappe?
I did.
I got a mocha frappe and a raspberry lime Ricky.
I did the Mitch combo.
I love it.
I'm so happy you got to try it.
It was great.
It was delightful.
I get to meet Dieter.
Yes, Dieter. I know I hope Dieter as well
I haven't I wanted to get the recipes from him at some point like how he made his
The mocha frappe in the in the raspberry lime working Dieter reach out to me. I don't know how to find you
Yeah, I've been looking for him
It's been like a lot like Liam Neeson. I'm like
I will find you and I will kill you
Don't kill Dieter. I won't kill Dieter, I won't kill Dieter.
Oh, not until he gives me the recipes.
Searching for Dieter though could be like
your self-insert documentary.
Yeah.
Just walking around looking for Dieter.
His name also spelled, I think, like dieter, basically.
Yeah, I think that's how Dieter is spelled.
Dieter, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is like a sad reminder for me.
I'm...
There's a boarded up Fuddruckers that I walk by.
Oh, that's a good one.
Fuddruckers is fucking legendary.
It was so good.
I don't know if it's gone gone
or just kind of gone from our area,
but what I wouldn't give to be in a Fuddruckers again.
It's not...
I'm sporting nacho cheese on my burger.
It's not gone gone, but it has receded a lot.
It has really surrendered a lot of territory.
Yeah, the ones that, and Jordan, I wonder if,
also someone from SoCal, if you have any fandom
for either of these, but two that I think of
are Marie Callenders.
Oh yeah, sure.
Which has really got lost a lot of market share.
And I used to have a lot of great memories of Marie Callenders.
Marie Callenders for me was like a birthday restaurant.
Like I picked that as a little boy, going there and getting myself a lasagna. And then
the other one is spoons. I don't remember spoons at all.
Sounds like I love this place.
The gimmick of spoons is, you would, the spoon, man, you'd love spoons.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
And I think, last time I mentioned this on the podcast, someone said like there's like one or
two spoons still hanging on and like alhambra or Irvine
or something like that.
But like this was a place that their gimmick,
it was like a Chili's, but the gimmick was,
you don't get a fork, you get a spoon.
So everything was something you could eat with a spoon.
That's fun as hell.
That's soap, that's, oh yeah, I now I have a memory.
Yeah. Yeah, that jogged it.
But I remember getting nachos there
and they were like my favorite nachos.
Which I'm sure if I got those nachos now, they would be exactly the same as they were
when I was a kid and I'd be like, these kind of suck.
Sure.
But like when I was like nine, I was like, this is the best thing I've ever eaten.
I don't know if it's, was the ground round?
Is that still around?
Is that, what was that the, I forget that there was the New England.
I'm trying to think of like family places that I missed but Brigham's is the number one that
I'm just sad about I mean like it just keeps happening more more like
D'Angelo's and and and and Bertucci's are probably by Howard Johnson's ground round. Yeah Wow
Okay, our Johnson's Quincy first one was in Quincy. How about that? Mm-hmm HJ's they do not exist anymore
it looks like they filed chapter 11 and
Couple years ago, 2004. Okay, 2004?
Yeah.
Oh, well.
It's interesting, because sometimes a place
files chapter 11, it's not necessarily a death sentence,
they're just reorganizing and the business persists
or sold off to somebody else.
So I imagine the Red Lobster brand will endure,
but yeah, sometimes something disappears entirely.
There's another place that was more like Long Beach focus,
but there's a place, Russell's Burgers,
which was, there were a few of them,
first place they were an Irish Nachos,
if you know that app.
Oh yeah, sure.
But they had really good cheeseburgers,
that place is also gone.
I think I first had Irish Nachos at a Benegans,
another place that is either not around anymore or just.
Benegans, yeah, yeah, yeah, Benegans is great.
That's, you just reminded me of Bickford's, it was it was like a diner chain and I lied to you
They're not gone. They're not gone. They're not gone. Wow
I grew up a lot, but they're still around still around looks like not and locations in Missouri and New York State
Jesus. All right. Yeah for something that I think was in Massachusetts for us Bigford's was an old diner
But my mom used to work at a Bigford's it was like a diner spot like a Denny's you would have loved it. It was great. Yeah, that's gone. It's sad
I just I mean it just is gonna hack you know as you get old the small the slow
March of time wise like a mascot for brown round. Oh, no, what is this?
What is this? Bingo the Clown.
Whoa!
That is...
Life is a Herald, isn't it?
Life is a Herald.
The prestige, yeah, sure.
Why tell your dad to tell Bingo we said hello?
Because all clowns are friends.
Change the flag.
Thank you, Emma.
You're welcome.
I was very afraid that it was the inappropriate mascot for a moment.
Yeah.
It was historical mascot, a little suspect.
Let us know which chain you'd like to see brought back from the grave, the one you miss,
hashtag chain resurrection.
And if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email
us at feedback at birdfuck.com.
Friendlies you went to too, which is shrinking as well.
Yeah.
A lot of New England changes have gone down. Or you can leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE,
that's 830-463-6844.
And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode,
plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog,
subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys.
Our producer is Emma Erdbrink.
Our associate producer is Amelia Moreno.
Our engineer is Casey Donahue.
Our video editor is Mike Dorfman.
Our guest, as we all pointed, the JJ pop figurine that has been moved
to the top of the rig.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, JJ.
Our guest, Jordan Morris.
You know what, Wags? That's the real clown.
Wow.
Kale.
Jordan, Youth Group.
Yes.
Let me grab this for you.
Oh, yeah, sure. Thank you. Thank you.
It's out July 16th.
Tell everyone about it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Youth Group, as I mentioned before,
it is a YA horror comedy, graphic novel, art
by the great Bowen McGurdy.
Beautiful, beautiful art.
Bowen's a gosh darn genius.
Yeah, it's funny.
It's spooky.
It's got a lot of friendship and a little bit of romance.
If you read a lot of comics, I think you'll enjoy it.
If you don't read a ton of comics,
it is a self-contained story, so you don't need to know anything going in. If you read a lot of comics, I think you'll enjoy it. If you don't read a ton of comics, it is a self-contained story,
so you don't need to know anything going in.
If you're the occasional comics reader,
you can definitely check it out.
And yeah, I would love it if people did.
There's a link, bit.ly slash youth group book,
bit.ly slash youth group book,
and you can look at the cover,
you can get a bunch of links to order it
and see a couple of the first pages.
And yeah, if you're listening to this before July 16th,
maybe consider giving us a pre-order.
Pre-orders are huge, huge, huge for books.
Just a couple of them make a huge difference.
So yeah, you can do that at Amazon,
Barnes & Noble, better yet, your local indie bookstore.
And if you want a signed copy,
I'm doing these via a great indie bookstore
here in LA called BookSoup.
So if you go to booksoup.com,
you can grab a signed copy of Youth Group
and they ship anywhere in the world.
So no matter where you are,
you can get one through Book Soup
and help out a great local indie.
Yeah, and if you're listening to this after July 16th,
run, don't walk to wherever you get your books and comics
to grab a copy of Youth Group.
I've pre-ordered it myself.
I'm very excited to read it.
Thank you.
Congratulations on the book.
I haven't yet, but I will.
Yeah. Thank you. I trust you.
I feel like I has an ad.
But I'm gonna, I am gonna do it.
Yeah.
Such a wonderfully talented, hilarious guy.
One of our favorites. Got it out.
Thanks, thanks, Mel.
We love him.
I hope people check that out.
We hope people give you a pre-order.
Thank you, thank you.
One of the best. Everyone loves Jordan.
Yeah.
It's the truth.
Thank you, thank you, guys.
I thought it before we wrap up.
I probably could just not say this,
but I'm never gonna have another opportunity.
I thought of another Skaw Godfather thing.
Oh, great, yeah, sure.
He's gonna sleep with the real big fishes.
-♪ Hahahaha! -♪ -♪ Hahahaha!
You know what?
I think he maybe won the bit contest.
Wow!
Riff of the pod?
Riff of the pod. Riff of the pod?
Riff of the pod.
Riff of the pod.
Hang it up in the rafters.
She's going to sleep with the real big fishes.
Put it on a jersey.
Raise it up to the head gum rafters.
And we'll salute it every time we walk in.
Be hanging up there all day.
Yes.
Hanging up there with the doughboy's corpses.
Swinging back and forth. That'll do it for this episode of Doughboyz. Until next time, for The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger.
Happy eating!
See ya!
Hey, buddy!
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And if you're interested in more Doughboyz content, check out our website at kinshipgoods.com
for more Doughboyz content.
And if you're interested in more Doughboyz content, check out our website at kinshipgoods.com
for more Doughboyz content.
And if you're interested in more Doughboyz content, check out our website at kinshipgoods.com for more Doughboyz content. And if you're interested in more Doughboyz content, check out our website at kinshipgoods.com for more Doughboyz content. And if you're interested in more Doughboyz content, check out our website at kinshipgoods.com shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff.
Aprons. It's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.
That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.
Sources for the intro are in the episode description.
That was a hate gum podcast.