Doughboys - Norms with Jordan Morris

Episode Date: June 28, 2018

The first half of the record may have been lost, but the second remains, as writer/comedian Jordan Morris (Bubble, @midnight, Jordan, Jesse, Go!) returns for a review of his favorite sobering up spot: 24/7 Los Angeles diner chain Norms. The ‘boys field another voicemail from a friend of the show. Plus, another edition of Drank or Stank.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1930s architecture saw the emergence of Streamline Modern, a sleek, slim-down subset of art deco that emphasized the efficiency of the electrical age. After the Second World War, the economic revitalization and growth of car culture in the US saw Streamline Modern supplanted by a different forward-looking aesthetic. Googie architecture, characterized by sharp geometry, sloped surfaces, and vibrant colors, and exhibited in fictional futuristic settings like the Jetsons, Futurama, and Disney's Tomorrowland. Throughout the 1950s, the distinct, attention-grabbing exterior design was in common use alongside highways in the suburban US, a way to lure passing motorists into motels, movie theaters, and, most commonly, restaurants.

In addition to the diner that gave the aesthetic its distinct name, Googie's Coffee Shop in Hollywood, famous examples of the style include the first Bob's Big Boy, the first McDonald's, and the oldest standing example of an LA eatery that opened on La Cienega Boulevard in 1957, the same year the Soviet Sputnik satellite launched the Space Race. Actually, the second of the 24-7 diner locations to open, it's always available breakfast and value-oriented menu would lead it to multiply and become a beloved LA institution, depicted in numerous movies and TV shows set in the City of Angels. Most recently, Amazon's Dad Bait police procedural Bosch. Today, Googie architecture is rare in the real world, though the designated historical site of the diner's oldest location

remains a stirring example of the form. Once an aspirational vision of a space-age future, now a time capsule that anchors it in the past, though its corporate motto dismisses the concept of time altogether, We Never Close. This week on Doe Boys, Norms. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, raspberry lime Ricky Gervais, Mitchie Two Spoons, Mike Mitchell. Ah, I remember this one. I didn't have an issue with it.

You remember this one? From when we recorded this before, we've got a tale to tell. I mean, we're about to tell the tale. We're about to disclose it. That was courtesy of Todd Taylor. If you have an insult, you'll like me to use the image at the top of the show. RoseSpoonNHGmail.com is the address. Ooh, a tailor of insults he is. Oh, he is. He is quite the tailor of barbs.

Uh, yes. Phantom Thread. Ah, fuck it. I don't even know what I'm gonna say. Nick? More like Phantom Thread. Thank you. You know, we got a lost episode. We have a lost episode. Doe Boys has a lost episode. Well, we have a lost half of an episode. Here's what happened.

We have a little bit of a... You know what, Mitch? Why don't you play your drop and then we'll get into this. How to how to Mitchy Two Spoons Nation. Here's a little new drop. Guess what? Someone's drop was played. I don't know who's it is. I might go back through and figure out whose drop was actually played and played again. You're not gonna do that. I know it's lost. Well, we'll say something later on where you can maybe figure out if it was your drop,

but here we go for now. Dongle, dongle, dongle, dongle, dongle. That was a cute little baby. A brand new drop. Very cool. Who is that courtesy of? That was courtesy of... One second, Nick. Jeff Oakley. Hello, El Capitan Two Spoons. Here's another quick drop for you. Nick will love this one because I know how much he loves a parody song.

I do. Especially one that can be construed as disrespectful. And I'm not gonna read that. Of important social and racial commentary. Have a great day. I think you did do this drop before. This might have been the drop you did before on Jordans, because I remember you saying, I'm not gonna read the rest of that. No, but that was something... No, it was a different thing.

He had a different thing that he sent in that you said I'm not gonna read the rest of? I think this is the one. I think you stumbled upon the one that you hadn't... Or he's used the same message for something else, this Jeff Oakley character. Alright, maybe that was it. That could have been it. It's possible it was it, unless you use that also on another episode that is... That's also a huge possibility. It's a possibility. So if you've heard this drop for the second time, Oakley, congratulations. You're a two-time dropper. Same drop.

First time this has ever happened. Not true. That's probably happened before as well. Yeah, I would say that the Bubba Juice Chop, so the chop chip thing is more culturally important when you, Nick. Yeah, I think so. Alright, it's the... Yes, this is America. Wait, hold on. We did... We had this discussion before. And I think you didn't understand what song it was.

I didn't recognize it because I hadn't heard the song. Yeah. So wait, so did we have this discussion on this episode or was this another episode? Who knows? It might be another episode. We don't know. Hold on. What were the other ones we did? No, let's not try to figure this out. I want to figure this out. Because either we just luckily played the one from Jordan's episode

or people will laugh at us and it's from another episode. Okay? Wait. No, I think this is it. Because I think we have... Yeah, I think we... I think this is the exact same chop we did on a previous episode. Well, hell yeah. We did on this same episode.

I read the rest of that email even though I shouldn't have read it, but there you go. You did the same thing. I remember this exact same sort of action. Also, this exact interaction may have happened on another episode that came out. But I think this was the last episode. Let's explain what happened. What a weird thing to also then just like repeat the same thing we did. Very strange. Very strange. I'm a little robot too.

We're both a little robot, man. You're more a robot. Well, you're more of a man. Size-wise. So let's explain what happened. Not an insult at first. We had our good friend. Yeah, I had to make it into one.

So let's explain what happened. I'm going to pass the ox cord over to our engineer Emma here. Sorry, let me take that again. That's what that horrible noise was. That's what that horrible noise was. You continue to hear. I feel like she'll be able to fix that in post. Maybe not.

Okay. That's our fault. That's my fault. It's Mitch's fault. So what? So we recorded this episode, you know, and, you know, it's the first half was lost, was a garbled mess. This is never happened in the history of Dome Boys.

Hold on. Not fair. Emma, you can get on the mic there, too, if you'd like. Oh, it's not on. Oh, sorry. But you know what? We can have you talking. Yeah, you can talk in a Mitch.

There's been moments where episodes have been corrupted. Yes. And you, because you're an expert, you've fixed those episodes. You fixed it. But this is the first time one has been fully lost. Well, yeah, there was a live episode that got corrupted before I was even your engineer. Oh, yeah. That I've managed to fix somehow.

But this one got, this one is beyond repair. Play a little bit of it. And this was, we had our good buddy, Jordan Morrison, in the first half of our discussion with Jordan, who is one of the funniest men. We should really hit home that he has this great show bubble that he wrote. That you are on. That I'm on. And you'll hear us talk about it in the second half of this episode.

We do talk about it. Which is intact. So you'll hear a little bit about that. I did a little voice on there. He did a great job. So he was here promoting that show. Yeah, it's his new narrative sci-fi comedy. You can find it on the Max Fun podcast network.

It's called Bubble. Check it out. But yeah, Emma, so this got totally corrupted. And can you play a little bit of this, this garbled mess of the episode, what this actually sounds like? Yeah. So it's corrupted in two different ways. So it starts like this alien mess.

Yeah, I won't let that go too long. It's really uncomfortable. I just want to say Nick jumped in his chair. You fucking loser. My, my headphones are showing up more than you and I didn't react. I just, I just said that was like my Manchurian candidate call to action. I have a mission now. If it makes you feel better, I jumped the first time I heard it.

I've just heard it a thousand times and try to fix it. So I'm very, I'm very comfortable with what it sounds like. Yeah. Um, but then, then later it gets kind of trippy. It just kind of sounds like this delayed mess. We told you. A little dark, kind of dark side-ish right now. A nightmare.

A little dark side-ish. A little, a little, uh, what, what's that? What's that Yoko Ono song that collaboration number nine? Yeah. A little number nine-ish. Um, I think it sounds cool. It does sound cool. I mean, it sounds cooler than a normal episode.

Nick, I'm turning on the AC. Yeah. That's fine. Um, so here's what we're going to do. Yeah. We're going to release this to Patreon. We'll release this corrupted first half to our Patreon listeners. If you remember the golden plate club, you can have this whole thing,

whatever you want to do with it. If you want to listen to it, try to figure out what we say. I'm going to say this about the first half of the episode. I think almost like God send. You thought it was bad. You were, I accused you of being in a bad mood. We had a, we got, we, there was a, there was some bad blood between us. There was, we were upset with each other.

I think the only time we were gotten a fight on the podcast was the first half of this episode. Jordan said he's here for one of the fighty episodes. Yeah. It was not fun fighty. Yeah. He accused me of not liking Spider-Man homecoming, which I then had to defend myself to, and then I finally broke and said, I don't like it and fuck all the listeners. I think you said suicide squad is better.

No, I did not say suicide squad was better. I said that I just didn't like, and so we were just very, but it was because of show. It was, you had just started your new job. Yes. And towards the end, we let out the cats to kind of defuse the situation. Things calm down once the cats came out. All in Irma come out. So the second half is way less testy.

Yeah. And so for you, for you, Patreon, the Patreon subscribers, you can listen to this jarbled mess, see if you can hear anything in there, but it was. I was actually happy that didn't that it kind of got deleted. Don't start pointing the finger at me now, Nick. No, I don't. I don't think it's your. It's not your fault.

Like it's no one's fault. Yes. It's one person's fault. We're not going to say who it is, but his name rhymes with you song. But we the that's not true. You song had nothing to do with this. It rhymes with Boudang. Yeah, but but you song is still fired.

Yeah, but the but yeah, we calm down quite a bit. The second half is a little bit. Why would you say it rhymes? Why wouldn't you try something that rhymes with you song? That was the joke I was making that it rhymes with his. You there's not even any calculation that you have to make just whatever. I guess that's a Simpsons joke. Yeah, you know it's good anyway.

So so yeah, we the first half with with Jordan Morris was lost. Unfortunately, the second half is still intact. And hey, you know that how this podcast works. If you're a longtime listener, the first half is just us dicking around anyway. We get down to business in the second half. So our review of this week's restaurant norms was entirely in the second half. Anyway, you didn't lose any of that. We have all of this.

The full norms are there on banter gone. All the fun banter is gone. All that dry recitation of the meal that we had and rating everything by by by by number of utensils. That's all there. The segment is still there. The feedback is still there. And there's something else that we wanted to insert in here because in the interim,

and I'm going to go ahead and put the oxcord in real quick. In the interim, we received a voicemail from a good friend of ours. That's right. And we figured we could play it right now for you guys. Here we go. Hey, two spoons. Hey, double reads. It's John Hodgman calling.

I'm in a car again. And I just I was listening to you as I've been driving from Maine all the way to New Hampshire to promote the paperback of my book Vacation Land. It just came out. That's a plus. I really enjoyed the Matt Meyer episode. You brought up Dick Ferds and it reminded me I have never, ever been to a Dick Ferds. There's still a couple of them in Massachusetts.

But I heard the jingle on the radio five times a day every day of my young life. And this is how it went. Dick Ferds cooking good things to eat early morning breakfast or late night treats. Anytime you're feeling hungry, there's something good cooking at Dick Ferds Country. Boy, I hope I got that in under the wire. This is very embarrassing. John Hodgman, how to goodbye. Vacation Land paperback available now to buy.

I don't think that song is real. I think that's something he dreamed. I love Bickford's. That was like my diner choice. I think we get into that maybe in the second half of the episode about Bickford's. We might talk about a little bit because we do talk about there was there was there was a I think my mom worked at Bickford's. That's where I used to go when I was in high school, like the late night diner place.

Oh, fun. I never had heard that song. Yeah, the song that he sang. If you've heard that song hashtag. I also heard that song cool. Um, uh, hashtag, hashtag. Hodgman isn't crazy. How about that?

Hashtag Hodgman is I said what a great guy he is for sending that in. This is what I said after we played that. Yes, God bless him and I said a great guy. I like that. He makes funny. He calls you double read and then you then you gave you gave Hodgman some shit. I didn't give him any shit. Yeah, you did.

No, you're inventing this now recreating this and now you're trying to make me look bad. John Hodgman. A man I respect 10 times as much as I respect you. Oh, well, that's still not saying much. Yeah, I guess 10 anything times zero zero. We got we got into a Hodgman fight. We got into a fight about it. There was no Hodgman fight.

This is invented. This is a fabrication. You're trying to get me in trouble with Hodgman. He's trying to promote his new book Vacationland or his book now. Now on paperback has been out for some time. He's trying to promote that. That's all you said. That's all you said.

You're trying. You're trying to insert this. This is beef and I said, but maybe he's not just trying to promote his book. Maybe he's trying to call us up and talk to us. That's what I said. This is you inventing this a day. None of this took place in the jarbled audio and also John of your listening. I'm on your side.

Nick is a piece of shit. We should team up together. So you went on and on about how this this started out like that. The last episode was hostile. It was very hostile. You're trying your best to make this makeup little like sectional that we're inserting to try to cover for it. You're trying to make this also.

No, all the stuff that was bad for me is kind of gone because it was you. It was your first day of work. You're a little cranky. You were cranky. Yeah, it was a little cranky. So what? I wish I want the audio to come out so people can see how cranky you were. Well, you'll release.

People aren't going to be able to tell anything because it sounds like nothing. Yeah, it's it's indecipherable. We're going to release it. Yeah, we've said that a bunch of times. We're going to release it to Patreon listeners. You're being now. You're being hostile. I don't know what you're what you're trying to accomplish here.

I thought that I was going to pass a kidney stone today before we started recording. Oh, this is news to me. I haven't heard this before. I didn't tell you this. Yeah. And I soldiered through. Wait, really just before recording? Yes.

So we went out and we ate something for a for a future episode and you had you thought you had got a kidney stone after that meal when I came back here. I went. I went into the bathroom and I was very nervous that I was passing a kidney stone. Oh, wow. Because you were like, what does that feel like? You just feel terrible. I never told you about this.

No, I know you've passed kidney stuff before. You told me. I went to Coachella. Yeah, with Harris and Armand and Harris threw out his back and I passed a kidney stone, which was like the most pathetic thing of like I was like the backseat of the car being like and then like they would be like, don't talk to me. I couldn't have anyone talk to me. Yeah.

Also, there was a time at a birthday boys party. Yes. When they had that house. You've told me this before. Yeah. Have I did I say this on the air? I mean, you've told me about. Yeah.

You've got you had a kidney stone issue with it where there's a bunch of people there. There's a bunch of people there. I went into the bathroom and I told Jeff to watch the door. Yeah. And I basically masturbated in the bathroom at the party. How does that help the kidney stone situation? It really, it really, it really, I swear to God, I'm not a creep, obviously, but but maybe lose the obviously, but I was like Jeff, you got to watch this door like I'm

going to go in there and I have to like this is I'm passing a kidney stone. I think and I didn't I didn't I like I passed it. I think you were having a I didn't I didn't masturbate to I didn't do I didn't finish it, but I thought that I was going to have to because it helps me. It did. It does. It weirdly helped. It has helped before.

I swear to God. I'm not. I'm not just lying. This is disgusting. This is a this is a medical thing, Nick. So you like like a volcano. You like shoot a magma rock out with a gush of ejaculate. That's disgusting.

That is disgusting. That's what you're suggesting. So before the show, I thought that I was, but I think that I think I think I'm in the clear, but I'm nervous about it now. But what does it feel like? It feels like fucking hell, but but like specifically what you just said. It feels like something is in your dick. Yeah.

Wow. So like like it's not like an abdomen. It feels like it's in the dick part. I mean, like you don't feel good. Although it feels like you have to pee constantly. Oh, okay. Which is like what you don't know is like torturous. Right.

But yeah, I think I think I'm I think I'm in the clear. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. So in your case, it's like you're trying to fit with your with the size of your dick. It's like you're trying to squeeze a marble out of a single grain of rice. Emma's laughing at everyone's laughing at me. No one's laughing at you.

We're having fun. It was it was it was it was it was it was horrible. I thought that was going to happen tonight. Mitch, I thought it was going to be two, you know, two cursed episodes. Right. I know. Well, I hope your health is okay. I hope you're feeling better.

Pretty good. Like recently. I'm trying. I'm glad to hear that. This is this kidney stone thing is a false alarm. I hope you get through it. Mm hmm. I hope if you do have to jack off, Dutton will come over and guard the door for you again.

Wally and Irma might try to sneak in there. It was it was a very strange sensation for me. Obviously nothing that I've ever done ever. Yes. Like a wild party with like tons of a ton of people. Yeah. That's crazy. Was I there?

I mean, I definitely wasn't there, but it's weird. I came out of a knock on the door and you were just finishing. Mitch, here's what we're going to do. We're going to we're going to take a break and we're going to come right back. The cats are going to be let out. The cats are going to be let out. When you come back, you're going to hear the second half of our episode with our great guest, Jordan Morris.

Promise you it all makes sense. Check out bubble by Vacation Landon and in paperback and we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with a second half of this week's dough boys. See you then. Welcome back to dough boys. We're here with Jordan Morris. The cats have come out to play. The cats have been unleashed.

Meow meow, they're saying. They're a little cat mics as they record dough cats. A podcast about kibble. Yeah. Irma. Irma. No, no response. Okay.

She's stretched around. She stretched. She came over. Very sweet face. And then Wally sniffing rabbits. Yeah. Wally's a handsome boy. Very sleek.

Your cats seem like they're a good weight, Mitch. They're like a good, they seem like they're, yeah, they seem healthy. Yeah, they're healthy. I love them. I take care of them. I will say as a cat owner myself, I also, I have a hard time sometimes controlling litter odor in the house. This place smells great.

Thank you very much. You have a couple different scented candles going. Some nice, some nice scents, some nice, not overpowering scents way to go. I, you know, I get the, I do the tops to the litter boxes and that usually helps out. But you know what? I get it. I get it. I get it.

I get to change that litter out. Speaking of which, that's always a pain. That's the biggest pain in the ass. Yeah. Scooping. It's the biggest pain in the ass. Yeah. Got to change your cat's box.

Probably your own two. I don't have a giant litter box. You don't believe me. I don't know if you can work that flush handle. Mitch, I'm a listener to the show and I don't know if I have heard you talk about this. Forgive me if this is trod territory. But do you do voices for your cats while you're talking to them? And what do the voices sound like?

Oh man. This is embarrassing. Yeah. No, I know. Sorry. This is a little bit of a pimp. Oh, should I, can I do my cat's voice for it? I would love to hear yours.

I have a cat. Her name is Bug. And she talks like this. This is her voice. So I'm to sleep. She mostly says time to sleep. Anyway. She's like a little college professor.

That's good. Are you turning your term papers? More embarrassingly, I'll just be like, I earn my baby. Like I'll say that to them. Sure. That's adorable. And I'll say, hey, Wally buddy, what are you doing? I'll say stuff like that.

Today, before I left to come here, I told my cat, I love how soft you are. I worry, I worry that I've, in this time, this time in my life where I've lived a while alone with a cat, I feel as though maybe I'm insane and just don't know it. Right. Like if someone else saw my behavior, they would be like, ooh, why are you acting like that? You know? I think they're great.

Wally's now on the table. Right. Wally's great. Wally is, is he leaving the table? No, he's just perched on the edge. He doesn't really want to be up here. Okay. He's getting off the table.

You know, we should, we had discussed this week's chain, norms, famed for hangover food and for late night eats. It's a classic diner. We went to the La Cienega location as a party and this is the longest surviving norms in LA. It's largely centered in LA. There's a few, in fact, they might all be in the city, but they're, they're, they're, I think the, if they're outside of the city limits of LA, the furthest they are, they

are out is still within LA County. It's a pretty area confined chain. But Jordan, why did you want to discuss norms? Well, yeah, I guess, I guess it, whenever I drive by norms, I have a pretty powerful sense memory. It really, it to me is, you know, represents like my early time in LA. Got it. Pretty hard because, yeah.

And, and yeah. And I was like, I think, I think this, this review for me kind of like, you know, brings up the, the, the Doughboys dilemma of, are you reviewing this trip to the restaurant or are you reviewing your feelings about this restaurant? Sometimes they can be intertwined. It can be, you're okay with that. It's the nature and nurture of Doughboys. And yeah, I really like, I really associate it with my early time in LA because, you know,

I think my first couple of jobs were PA jobs, which I think you both of you guys have done or you've done some version of it. And at least the one I had was, you know, you get in early and you leave late and you could always count on that norms to be open. Sure. Like you could always get a breakfast there. You could always get a, you know, you could always get some late night when everything else is closed.

Right. Reasonable prices. And I, yeah, I just, I, and also in addition to that, in addition to that kind of utilitarian, this is, this is open when I need food. I also just, I got, I sobered up there so much. I did so much sobering up there. And it really like represents a kind of a fun time to me when I was sobering up a lot. But also I kind of, when I look back on that time now at, at 36, when I look back on those

early 20s, there is a little bit of regret, like a, oh, maybe you went to norms so much because you were drinking too much because maybe you were dealing with demons in an improper way. Oh, interesting. So I also feel a little bit sad when I drive by them because yeah, it's like, oh, you know, maybe you were getting drunk and going to norms when you should have been exercising and going to therapy. Right.

And that's an interesting thing that can, I think that can happen with food and music and different things that you dealt with stuff that were maybe demons in some way and right some outlet that you had and yeah, that's, that's, that's interesting. Mitch, I'm proud of you for understanding context there and not getting spooked at the word demons. You've been saying it yourself. Sure. I mean, you did get, you did put the crucifix on yourself after you said it.

He smeared some ash on his forehead. Well, Hager, you're really coming at me this episode. You were called me cranky. I was, I was right. I think that's unreasonable. I called. I said you were going to be cranky even before you got here and I was more in the right. Justice League was pretty good.

The kid who played the flash had a lot of charm. The mother box heist is a great action scene. I thought Justice League got torn up, but look, I'm not going to get into that because people are going to think that's bad and think my movie taste is even worse. Give Justice League a shot, everybody. You started a new job, Nick. I did. I started a new job. You're working.

You're working. You're a working man. We had a. So the chronology of this will outline. We we just were in San Francisco. We spent a weekend there. That's it. That's another reason why I said you're going to be cranky and I'm tired too.

I get it. I got, I got back. I got about four hours of sleep. I got up. I went because we got our flight got back after midnight. Yeah. Then the clone wars. Then yeah, talking about the chronology.

Right. Right. And then solo. Yeah. Because solos after the clone wars and then and now and now we're taping right. Yeah. Yeah.

Maul makes an appearance and you're a little like, like, wait, what? I thought he died. But if you watch the cartoons, you know, it's canon that he's he's in it anyway. So we can edit that out. Darth Maul's at the end of solo. The Paul's in solo. You haven't seen it by this point. So so did you like as a prequels fan?

Did you like when Darth Maul showed up, Mitch? I liked that he was there, but it's also just kind of that sort of thing of like he wasn't used well. Would you prefer it have been Dexter Jetser? If Dexter Jetser was there in a hologram, that would have been funny. Like maybe it's Darth Maul saying like, you know, doing whatever kind of cryptic thing he was doing and then Dexter Jetser is like astro exer up. Darth Maul's like, coming.

Got to go. My shift manager's a bitch. You have a job. So, yeah, we went to the wait, where was I going with this? I was saying something a second ago. Oh, the chronology of this. Yeah. So San Francisco, I got in.

I got about four hours of sleep, woke up, went to the gym. Wow. Shower went straight to work, was super tired. I got a good amount of sleep last night, but I also got up early. I also worked a full day, came straight here. Or actually, I made a stop at 7-Eleven to pick up some stuff for another episode. Came straight, then came here. Hold on a second.

Yeah, you're saying that like I didn't go to the supermarket and you went to the supermarket. You asked me to pick something else about up from 7-Eleven. That's you putting something onto this. I didn't. I didn't say that I like because you're smiling, though you smiled at one night when you said when you said it, you're reading way too much into that, but in between you showering and going to 7-Eleven.

That's Ant-Man and the Wasp, right? A little confusing. It happens. So I bought about eighty dollars worth of sodas for why we can't spoil it. It's going to happen, right? It might be up before this. I don't know the chronology of how these podcasts are releasing. It's its own thing.

Yes, it's crazy. So, but we went to the, but anyway, so I'm a little tired. Sure. That said, I'm fine. And, you know, what you were talking about, right? You look fresh. Oh, God bless you. You have a fresh enthusiasm about you.

I hope that comes about in the photo we take. We'll see. We'll find out later. So we went to the norms and you were talking about its hours. And I just wanted to talk on its slogan real quick because they would really, really lean on that. They're not open 24 hours. They just say, we never close, which I like.

I'd like that's like, like, oh, you mean there's, there's no exception for any holiday at 24 hours, seven days a week, every day of the year. Want to be bummed out on Thanksgiving? Come here around six. I've, you know, Natalie and I have actually been to norms, maybe not on Thanksgiving, perhaps on Christmas. We've been on a major holiday when they kind of, because we're just like, you know, we're hungry, let's just go.

We know it's open. And it was actually a delight. They were super friendly and the service was great. And it was all, it's all like diner comfort food there. So it was nice to have on a holiday when we had, I think maybe a family thing earlier in the day and then it had nothing to do for dinner. Um, but so we went to the La Cienega location. Our server, Rodolfo, I think was his name.

I believe that was what it was on the receipt anyway, was fantastic. I thought he gave us really, really good service, very attentive. Um, fixed a mishap we had with our meal, which we'll get to in a bit. And I thought it was just like pleasant and jokey and, and just like, just like a perfect, a perfect service for you and stuff. Um, yeah, definitely. I always, that's always my feeling about norms is that you are, you're not, you're not getting that kind of typical cranky diner waitstaff.

It seems like they go out of their way to hire friendly, vivacious people. They're very nice. If you want to make a substitution, they'll be like, yeah, no problem. You know, there's, they're not going to like freak out over anything. I'd never been to norms. Yeah. I was surprised. I was really surprised.

Yeah, and I like late night diner place. I love Bigford's. It's funny that Hodgeman, we play that for this episode because I think it goes hands and hand, hand in hand with norms a little bit. He's going to call back with some norm song from like the seventies really. What was that real? Um, I, so I was looking forward to, I want to really like norms. I never understood.

I saw norms. I was like, what is norms? Is this like a reference to cheers? Truly, but when I first moved here, I was like a cheers pop up restaurant. I didn't because there's the one that I had across from Carolyn in the cities. I think it's right across. I think it is right across the street from strip. It's across the street from a strip club.

Yeah, it has a yeah. It is across from the strip club that does have the like stereotypical flashing sign that says girls, girls, girls, right? So it is very like you're like, ooh, I'm in a seedy part of town. Yeah, the strip club and then you're not. There's a lot of rug stores around there too, but it's right. It's right near to put to get it's right near where what's the the famous comedy, the improv, the the performance space, the Largo Largo.

It's right. It's right near Largo Largo or the more the log where Largo is now. Yeah, sure, but I I oh I'd always seen this norms. I don't I like I've been always. This is the norms that I like recognize the most. Yes, it's distinct. Googie architecture and it's famous sign. Yeah, and and but I never I never had it and I love Bickford's.

And I I like I hop or like or but hey, breaking choose I hop. I think this is some prank. Yeah, I think they're not actually going to commit some sort of bacon promo. Yeah, I mean, this will probably be resolved by the time this episode is out. Again, you know, we're we're the chronology of this is just it's so hard to keep your mind around. But it's weird that like kind of everybody's doing it. I feel like it's in Jack in the Box becoming Jack in the Borks. Right Taco Bell is becoming Taco Beal.

They're changing one of the L's to an other case. In Jessica Beal will work there for a couple hours and then it's to promote. Yeah, I wonder. Yeah, you're probably right. But but I anyways I have a fondness for places like this. Yes, and for sober up spots for late night dining places that you go into in high school and college or whatever I like places like that. So I think my first trip to a norms is probably.

I really associate it with LA, but also I did go to a norms in high school a little bit because I grew up in Orange County and one of our spots we would drive up one of the all ages venues where we would go to see punk rock shows was a place called Coos Art Cafe. And because I was I was not a drinker or a drug doer in high school. I was a goody two shoes who was a little bit religious. I we would like our if we wanted to stay out late. We were like seeing a band or we were goofing off at a diner. Those were our like really cut and loose.

Anyway, we would go to see shows at this Coos Cafe and then we would go to this norms that was by it. That surprised me, Jordan. I didn't I didn't know that the little tidbit there of that you were religious or. Yeah, I kind of grew up in in and I got I don't know if the if either of you can relate to this, but like definitely in when I was growing up Orange County was a hot bit of the hip youth group. Sure. Where like a you know a cool youth pastor with tattoo sleeves would like. Absolutely.

Play a play a you two song on his guitar. Yeah. Say, you know, you know, not it's not all love songs are about girls. You know, right? Oh, man. Yeah, a lot of sometimes they're about boys and then he would kiss us. I we used to go to this this venue and it was it was a church and they had free punk shows on like Friday nights.

And the idea was there'd be a punk show and then, you know, partway through their set, a like youth pastor would come out and talk to the kids about how cool Jesus is. And then they'd go the band would play like some more. And it was like a very strange experience. But it was like very much like in that age of like like there would be bad kids at this thing because they just wanted to see punk. But there would also be like like, you know, Christian youth there. Yeah.

And then some of them, you know, and some of those bands would do kind of a modestly good job of kind of like covering up the religiousness, you know. Yeah. But there would also be ones that were like that like sometimes you'd see a band and then they would just like like like what's up guys? We're Christian band. We're going to open with a prayer. Yeah.

And you just be like, oh, this is going to suck. Like these guys are not going to be good. Sure. But yeah, it's it's they're all wearing hard sole shoes. Like I know that they're wearing golf shirts. Yeah. This I know the religiosity is an element of, you know, some straight edge culture. I think to some degree, I think there's some of those are some of them are Christian.

Yeah. I think that's their intertwined. Right. But, you know, there's some some some decent straight edge hardcore. Look, I don't I'm not some expert on the hardcore scene, but I remember at the time we were you love Fugazi. There was a time we were disappointed when the punk show was not as was not as they were not Hellions when they were they were Christian new boys.

But yeah, it is it is interesting that strain exists in Southern California. Different for we just had all the, you know, in Massachusetts area, we just had all the priests. Yeah, right. They were chases around to penny hill music in and out of the church, right. So we so we so this is, but you would put on a gorilla suit and scare them and sometimes we put on a two of us would put on a priest costume and stand on the other shoulders. Sure they'd get down and pray. It was it was it was fun. Do you still see that busty nurse you grew up with.

She should have helped. She should have helped us out. Yeah, yeah. My late grandfather on my dad's dad like loved Benny Hill. I thought it was just like a very, very entertaining and very funny. I thought you were going to go. My dad's dad, my late grandfather, very busty. I mean, natural through right. It's gross. So this is sorry. I was what you thinking about an old man with big tits.

No, it was great. All right, grandpa tits aren't gross. They're nice. Sure. All grandpa's got get them at some point. Listen, it's part of the aging process. Bears are dogs. Old men have nice tits. These are all facts. So this is an old Han of yours, Jordan. Yes. This and this is a place that I've been to. Calm down. You're doing better earlier. This is a place I've been to quite a bit. I, you know, I've been here.

I've been to norms dozens of times to different norms throughout the city. And I always enjoy it, but it had been a while between visits because it is, you know, there's not like, I try to eat healthier in general, outside of this podcast and outside of a few indulgences. And norms does not really have much in the way of healthy, helpful options. Like stuff is very, very heavy. It's what you might expect, you know, it's about, it's about as easy as to eat healthy at a Denny's, which is not easy at all. But they have a really good, just classic diner coffee. I got myself a cup of coffee. And then we started off with the, and we can hear you guys beverages as well.

But we got the, we got an iced tea from Jordan. That was an iced tea. Real nice. Yeah, just a classic straight. Very refreshing. And Mitch, you got a little bit of a lime, a lime lemonade that had like a jalapeno. It had like a, like a spicy pepper in it. Right. This was like an intro. Like this was a new way to have. It was a habanero, right? Habanero lime. I don't think it was habanero. No. Yeah. I think it was. I think it was a jalapeno, but I'm not sure. I don't have it in my notes. You're looking at wookie pedia. He's still watching clips from spider-man too. I will find that. So, but yeah, it was like a little citrus to a little citrus to it,

a little bite to it. Did you like that Mitch? I did. I enjoyed the lemonade. It was refreshing. I was worried about it being too spicy. Right. And the waiter said, don't you worry. He reassured you. He reassured me that would be fine. Yeah, I enjoyed it. And we got the chef's sampler platter, which is, this is a bunch of different apps, fried shrimp, honey mustard chicken tenders, mozzarella cheese sticks, and onion rings served with three different sauces. The sauces, I believe, were a marinara, a cocktail sauce, and a honey mustard. I was really glad one of those sauces wasn't ketchup. Yeah, I know. Doesn't that fucking suck when they're like, you're getting dips, you're getting a trio of dips or a quartet

of dips, and just one is fucking ketchup. Don't give me ketchup. It should be on the table. At minimum, have it be like ranch, which I know ranch is conventional and there's not a twist on it, but it's fine. It's nice to have there if you're doing a lot of dipping. Exactly. I thought the honey mustard was a good honey, we're talking about the sauces, good honey mustard, very solid cocktail sauce, very solid marinara. I mean, they're just across the board just very much got the job done. No complaints. I mean, we're running into the big thing with our entire yes. So here's the issue, but by the way, Mr. Gaslighter, Habanero lime. It was Habanero while it was happening. Yeah, wow fucked up the title of my podcast. You fucked up the drink.

Look, I mean, I got a lot going on. You're a cranky dipshit. I didn't write down. I'm sorry. I didn't write down what you ordered. Oh wow. Good for you. Cranky dipshit fuck off. Look, I love you, Nick. Let's keep going. All right. I do. I love you. We got fried shrimp. It shows. I'd say the shrimp was good. The mozzarella cheese sticks were very good. Yeah. We're fine. The tenders. Yeah. Do you want to? Do you want to drop this bomb, Mitch? As you know, this is happened. It did happen to me. I was the unfortunate when I bit into a chicken tender and I immediately noticed as I bit it because it was still like it was like one of those situations where I bit into it and I was like, oh, it's like the outside

of it is kind of hot. I'm not gonna like chew it. I think I took like a bite or two, but I looked, it was in my hand and I was like, that looks like maybe it isn't cooked all the way through. And what do you guys think? It wasn't. It was wrong. We had an undercooked tender. Yeah, it was definitely wrong. Pulled out of the fryer a little too early. Yeah. And Mitch, it's already dangerous for you to eat chicken tenders because you can always make the mistake of biting your own thumb. You sick motherfucker. But yeah, it was inedible. We were right not to eat it. Jordan, you spoke up and told Rodolfo about it and he was very apologetic and promised to fix himself. Difficult for me. I'm not a big send it back guy. I'm not either. I will eat

undercooked food. I will just so I don't make a stink. But he came over to me and said, your friend Nick ordered this rare. Do you like rare tenders, Weiger? I like to be able to taste that chicken. He slipped Rodolfo 100 and say, see that Mitch doesn't leave the restaurant alive. I think just you just like your chicken, the rare or medium rare. I think that's how you like it. No, I like it. I like a well-cooked through cooked chicken, although I've learned that you know you can have duck like medium rare, which is interesting. Quack, quack. Quack, quack. Duck. Yeah, that's the noise a duck makes. Thanks, Mitch. Everyone else liked it except for you. I loved it. Rob's still convulsing with

laughter. I don't know. All right. So Rodolfo addressed it and he brought us a new batch of honey mustard. I don't know why I keep saying honey mustard. It came with honey mustard sauce. Yeah, I think they don't they like house make it? Don't they take some sort of pride in their honey mustard? Oh, that must be it. Anyway, so I think anytime you get a chicken dish that comes with that dish, they say it's honey mustard. They put that prefix there. Yeah, I think it is there in an out secret sauce. Right. We had surprise visitors. We had surprise visitors. Maddie Smith and Max Mayer. We didn't know they were joining. They ambushed us. You looked cut off guard. I was cut off guard. You did not look happy. Two friends. I didn't know we're going to meet us

there. I wasn't. Why was I unhappy? Oh, all right. Sorry. I was happy to see these guys. They're my friends. I mean, I think we had really was it was it was happening in there at lunch rush, right? And I think maybe the issue was we just we had we had gotten a table for three. Yeah, all of a sudden five guys and I'm not talking about the restaurant. I'm talking about the amount of guys at this table. But let me tell you this was too many guys for the too many guys because we're all we're all big men. We're very large men, big personalities, big appetites, huge cranks. I mean the cranks at this table. You I mean the cranks hodor looks like. Yeah, hodor looks like I gave the deceptive eunuch compared to these five hodor looks like

he has no yes. Jesus Christ. We're really packing some heat. Yeah, we are five guys. So, you know, they came they came at it was it was a rush hour. Luckily it worked out great. It worked out great. The table next to us vacated and then Rudolph was very accommodating and let him sit down there. Maddie Smith was saying to me that I was being too nice to norms after I bit into a rot. He said you're being too nice. You bit into raw chicken. I think that I think that's maybe fair because, you know, they fixed it. The new tenders they brought were actually great. They were piping hot. They were cooked all the way through. They had a great Christmas to them. The meat was was flavorful. I thought that replacement was great. But yes, I mean that

could have made you sick. They could have made us all sick. I was sick afterwards for the rest of the night on but I had a headache. So who knows? Probably not related. Anyways, but yeah, I mean because afterwards you went right to that slurpee drinking contest. I did. It was about speed, right? Anyway, I understand there are some people though who are like, oh, you made me sick or you possibly made me sick. That is like unforgivable. And that's just like their red line. And I think that's fine for a place that serves you food because that's that's irresponsible. It was the one stain on this meal. That's why I was being nice to it because I was trying to like it. This at platter even. Yes, absolutely. We also got a hot cakes with blueberry topping,

which come with some whipped cream and we shared those. And I thought those hot cakes were great. I thought they were fantastic pancakes. Yeah, Norm's does a great pancake. I think pancakes is maybe we're talking about sober up foods. It's my absolute favorite thing. Right. Yeah, pancakes yeah are awesome. And I think Norm's really, really does a great job. I think you're getting a you're getting a better pancake than you are at a Nihop or a Denny's. And I know they're kind of hard to fuck up, but they are very good. They do it very well that blueberry topping. But I had an issue. Yeah, what was it? It was that the topping was cold. It was like the pancake itself was kind of cold. Sure. And and I loved I to be clear, I thought the pancakes were delicious and I liked

them quite a bit. But that topping was cooling it off. We wanted hot cakes, not lukewarm cakes. That's exactly not room temp cakes, not room temp. We want to hot pancakes. They could have warmed up them blueberries a little bit and then just put the whipped cream over on the side. Yeah, that might have worked a little bit better. I didn't really bother me. I thought they were they they were hot enough. And you know, like I thought they that the topping was very, very flavorful and like like Jordan was saying, just a very well executed classic pancake and huge too. You had three full like just giant pancakes. We didn't even finish them. I believe. Yeah, we didn't finish them and we were sharing them amongst five, as we mentioned previously,

big men with big hogs to feed. Wait a minute, what? One for me, one for you. You were putting your fork with food on it under the table. Yeah. If you feed your peanuts, right, bitch? And then we I got we'll get into our individual meals. So I got myself the I started off with a with a mixed green salad with blue cheese dressing. Did anyone else get a salad? I did. Came with my meal, too. Yeah, with yours. And you also got a soup. Yeah. So yeah, I see my meal. I got the chicken fried steak platter, came with a veggie, a potato. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to pick salad. It comes with salad and soup. So I was not expecting

this soup to come my way. Not a big soup guy, occasionally, but not my fave. Definitely, I don't order a lot of soups. But yeah, on a whim, I just kind of asked for the gumbo. I think my choices were gumbo and navy bean gumbo. Pretty good. That was a good gumbo. A little spice, a little chicken, a little sausage and boom, I'm right back on the bayou. I'm on my fan boat. I'm plucking my banjo right back on the bayou. A place I have never been. You tricked me. I figured that you had lived down there. Yeah, sure. I know with the authenticity, yeah, with which I was speaking about the bayou. How else could you know those details? Sure. I can't remember. Did yours come with a soup? Mine did not come with a soup. That's right.

Soupless bitch. Yeah. Oh, no soup bitch over here. I'm a soupless Mitch, not a soupless bitch. Did you? Are you out of soup? I didn't have a soup. Yeah, well, you're a soupless bitch. I had some a Jordan soup. Seems like I'm the only bitch with some soup around here. Nice try. Try to call me a soupless bitch when you were a soupless bitch. I fucked up big time. Look, let's just agree that you are one. So I would you got you had a salad with ranch dressing. I got mine with blue cheese dressing. What was your dressing again? Oil and vinegar, right? So we all different. Here's my issue with the salad. Sure. Toss some fucking cheese. Just make it a diner salad and toss cheese on it. It

could have used a little something. You could add some shredded cheese. Yeah, yeah. It was pretty much just some some iceberg and shredded carrots. Yeah. Cabbage in there. Just those bagged greens. People will be like, Mitch, you're not supposed to put cheese on a salad. I get that. I'm just saying for what the diner salad was. Yeah, it could just use some cheese. You could wake it up a little bit. I thought that the actual the blue cheese dressing I got had some nice, you know, the some nice chunks in there. I thought that was a good dressing, but the actual salad is an exciting. The thing I'll say in its favor is that the greens weren't wet. Sometimes you get these diner salads at these places and they've got, you know, the plates a little wet or the

greens a little wet. And then the oil in the dressing doesn't mix with the water. So I ordered a salad, not a drink. Yeah, exactly. It's a drink. So it gets a little soupy. Sure. A little drink like if you will. Yeah. So yeah, this did not have that effect, that issue. And then your chicken fried steak, let's talk about that. Yeah, so chicken fried steak came with soup salad, veggie of the day. The picture of the chicken fried steak had some nice crisp looking green beans. Sorry, I had a little belch and I tried to swallow it and I think I made a face like I was doing Kegels. That's okay. Anyway, I apologize. Only we saw it. Yeah, well, I have described it. So hopefully people are thinking about it. What do you think I look like, audience?

Don't cheat. Hit me up on Twitter and tell me what you think I look like. So yeah, I got so green beans on the menu. I know kind of the diner, the diner thing is, you know, just kind of they whatever that veggie of the day is, right? I got a little dish of creamed corn, and then mashed potatoes, chicken fried steak. And I wrote I've only made two notes. I looked at my notes on the way over here. Creamed corn wasn't good. And then in all caps, two gravies. So here's here's here's my favorite part of them. Yeah. Usually when you're getting something that has mashed potatoes, and you get a protein that has a gravy, you kind of just get this gravy sloshed over the top, right? And it's that it's a

sort of dominant flavor. It's kind of just the flavor of the meal. Yeah. So you know, you're getting, you know, your side and your main all kind of start to taste like gravy, which is delicious. But you know, you got two things, make it taste like two things. Yeah. On my chicken fried steak, there was a cream gravy. On the potatoes, there was a brown gravy. Wow. I had two gravies. That's fantastic. I was, and I, I was just like, Hey, you know, there's been some hiccups, but I'm here with five huge men. I'm eating two different gravies. Right. I'm having such a great day. Yeah. I don't know. It was really great. And I had there was the highlight of the meal for me was when I, I just realized I'm eating two gravies.

Maybe I haven't had a great year, but this is pretty good. I'm having two gravies with some of my favorite dudes. Yeah. I, you know, that's why I was trying to overlook the incident. Sure, right, which was tough and it's hard to get over it. Why didn't you offer the waiter to cream Jordan's corn for him? God damn it. I like that situation. He's not offering me. He's addressing the waiter like it'll be a surprise for him. It's like, Hey, it's our friend's birthday. Do you guys do a song or something? I can excuse myself like I'm going to the bathroom, but then I wink at the rest of my party. They know what I'm up to. I'm gonna go check up some corn. I'll be right back.

And it's not like a prank. It's like a nice thing to do for my friend. Yeah. That's what you think. Yeah. All right. Cream me enough. Okay. Mitch, we got Jordan. I had a bite of your, your chicken fried steak. Oh yeah. I will say it was very good. I remember I did too. It was actually quite good. I don't usually love chicken fries. I don't usually look like it's not my favorite thing and I love it. Nick, we should talk about ours together. We got two different sandwiches. Yeah. And we split it up. We did. It was actually great. We split everything in and you know, it was nice. It was, it was set up in a way where it was very easy to share. Like, like my sandwich came in four pieces. Your sandwich came in two pieces and we, I just handed

you two wedges. You handed me one, one half and it worked out great. I got the clubhouse. This is a traditional triple decker toasted white bread with a turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, and tomato. You know, the clubhouse style of having the three breads, which I, which I like. It's a fun change of pace. And then the Norm's Original Patty Melt, which they write on the menu copy. Norm himself invented this popular sandwich, which is a bold claim. And I'm not sure if it's if it's 100% true, but I don't know if I believe it eat myself. Yeah, but it's, it's a it's a ground chuck patty and grilled rye with melted American cheese and onions. But here's what I will say about it. It was delicious. It's a dynamite patty melt. I'd say that's like the best bite I

had of that whole meal. It's fucking. It was really, really great. It was good. Just just they just did the beef really, really well is nice and thick enough and juicy, juicy. Yeah. They just, it was good. It was good. It was undeniably good. Yeah, absolutely. I don't think I've had the patty melt, but I've definitely had their burgers before. And every time I have one, I'm like, wow, this is like a significantly tick better than I thought it was going to be. Anyway, it's a pretty killer burger. It's a place where people will go for breakfast, but Norm's has some lunch options and some dinner options that are that are pretty solid. And this patty melt is great. And I will also say that, you know, as opposed to the bun on the burgers, this, this grilled rye bread is just

like at least the execution we got. It was just like the right level of, of crispness to it. Very well toasted and, and just like it worked really well in terms of not overwhelming the beef with, with bunly goodness. And then the, the onions, I thought were great. The, the, the, the little bit of sauce on it, I thought was, was great. Yeah. It was just a fantastic patty melt. The, the, the, the stacker sandwich, whatever it's called the clubhouse, the clubhouse, not as impressive, just kind of less spectacular. Yeah. A little bit boring. I, I, I, you know what, I know, I think there's probably noise on people, but it could have used maybe a sauce or an avocado or something. There could have been some sort of something in there to kind of spice it up a

little bit. Avocado would have gone a long way. I mean, I know that increases the price point, but even if that was a menu option for a buck 50, I would absolutely add some avocado because, you know, it, it, yeah, it's, you know, it's a little, it's a little bread-y because of that extra size of bread, which again, I like, but, and yeah, it probably was maybe a little, at least our version was a little, didn't have as much condiments as it could have had. Yeah. But I thought the, and the turkey, I will say is a decent turkey. Yeah. Like it's like, it's like a better than just like a store-bought, you know, I mean, I think it's a store-bought, but it's better than just like a, like a, a grocery store, you know, conventional shirt. Yeah. It wasn't bad. It wasn't

bad. But, um, but also like, it needed some sort of, because you know what, the thing that made it not great to me is that the lettuce really stood out, which to me is like, like, oh, I'm tasting too much lettuce in this sandwich. That's not right. Yeah. I was a little lettucey. And then, you know, before we get to our final judgment, we have another thing to address, which is that, that may be it for our food, but we also hit up the claw machine on the way out. That's right. Sure. And Nick, I gotta give you credit. You almost got, you almost got away with a toy right there, but you almost got a stuff. What was it? I think it was a Patrick. It was a SpongeBob's friend, Patrick. I came very close to nabbing Patrick. Yeah. Um, and I also, I had, I got

pretty close with Buttercup as well. I thought you were closer with Buttercup. Oh, maybe Buttercup is what I'm thinking of. One of the, I got, I got close with one of the two of them and, uh, basically had it in our grip and, and you know, those things are fucking rigged, man. Just like the elections in this country. I was also a clapping for myself there. You, you, you, you, yeah, no one else clouds. I will say it was really, I, it was, it was a very now listen, I know that, you know, you guys have a complicated relationship with how you present on this show and how your fans view you. Right. And you know, like, I mean, I know that I've been doing a podcast or sometimes you kind of become this, you know, to your fans, you become

this weird version of yourself that maybe like, you know, necessarily think is correct or, you know, maybe the, but I will say it was a great wiger moment when you, when we used our last claw credit, uh, and we didn't get one and you just went, well, that was a waste. It's how I felt. Sure. I said, we had fun doing this. It was a fun time. We came away empty-handed. You went after a Powerpuff girl first. She would have been easy to grab. Jesus. Wait, hold on. In the context of the claw machine, Jesus. They had the clock and grabbed the head. The head's oversized. It's not a thing. You were very close. You were close to get. We, I feel like we all got kind of for a claw machine. It did a good job because it made

more so than other claw machines where I'm like the claw didn't even close. It just like kind of loosely went over the thing. This one, like it would, it would brought the toy up top and then like, like would drop it before it got there. Did a good job. I'm saying it was, yeah, it was a good, it was a good, yeah, a good con. Well, you know what? It was a Norm's branded claw machine. They got that norm signage all over the place, but I think if you would have gotten that Powerpuff girl, she would have been a little undercooked. A little raw in the middle. It's a hot on the outside, but a little bit of a little bit of raw in the middle. Well, let's get to our final thoughts on norms. Jordan, you're a vet of the podcast, but just a refresher wheel. Each go-around

will give our closing statement, if you will, and then ascribe it a score on the order of zero to five forks. You're our guest. We will begin with you. Yeah. So I think this trip to norms was a roller coaster. I mean, it was really, I have very complicated feelings about the whole meal and I think it's fitting because I kind of have complicated feelings about the chain in general. Yeah, like I said, it kind of represents a time in my life when I was partying, when I did need to sober up, when I did have to, when I was drunk on a weeknight and needed to get home for work and part of me thinks, hey, that was a really fun time, but then also part of me thinks, why were you doing that? That was very bad. So yeah, and I think that kind of mirrors the kind of

complicated meal we have. Stuff was a little undercooked. There was a couple of temperature issues, but there was also some really, really delicious food. So yeah, I think, and obviously, I have a, I'm invested in this chain. I'm kind of realizing as I'm talking about it. Like financially. Financially, yes, I have a stake in it. Maybe I should have divulged that before we started. It's a little bit of a conflict of interest. But I am Norm. Okay. My middle name is Jordan. I go by that. Wow. Norm Morris. I invented the patty melt. I'm not. I'm not Norm Morris. Norm Morris. I'm not Norm Morris. Jordan Morris is so much more of an interesting fun man to me. Norm Morris is immediately like a less interesting person. That's a different guy.

Right. Yeah. He's a man who golfs. Norm Morris golfs. He never left Orange County. He sure didn't. Yeah. So yeah, I, but, but I, I, in general, I just think that this is a great execution of diner food. Yeah. It always has been, it is a, you know, it fills the same need as a Denny's or an IHOP, both of which I love. But I think it's always a tick better than those. Something we didn't mention, but there was just a great vibe in there. It's always been a kind of a family place. And even though that, you know, that area of town that the original norms is in has gotten pretty Tony and. It's gentrified quite a bit. Yeah. Gentrified quite a bit. It still is a neighborhood place with all kinds of people. You know, we sat next to some cool dudes,

but there was also some families there, older people. A high school basketball team came in. You'll see it again with a hard hat. Which Nick, you loved. I thought it was great. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I think, I think that, yeah, it definitely is a, is a, is a neighborhood spot in the middle of LA where neighborhood spots are becoming fewer and far betweener. Sure. And I think that is an important thing that Norms does. Right. So yeah, I, I, I, I, I really think it would be cool to give Norms five forks because I think it's that good. Wow. But I, I, but you can't ignore the undercooked food. It's a, it's a serious whiff. Right. Some temperature issues, you know, hot cakes should be pipe and hot. That being said, that, you know, I, I,

I am very forgiving toward Norms. I, I genuinely love it. You know, complicated feelings aside. Would love to give it five. Don't think I can do it. Four forks. Four forks. Very good score. Mitchell, I'll give my rating now. And then I want to, I want you to close it out because you are the one most affected by that chicken tendy. And I want to see how, how it affected your score. Also, Wally was getting his head wrapped around the wire and it was about to unplug the Wally chewing on the wire. Did he unplug something that we need for the record? No, that's fine. Okay. We're still rolling. Okay. Great. Get your shit together, Wally. You're going to start yelling at my cats too. No, I like Wally.

He's a very handsome boy. He's very handsome. Do you like me? I like you too. We like each other. Everyone likes everyone. Wally likes Irma. Wally's up on the table now. It's very cute. I love it. I think I agree with a lot of the points Jordan is making and just to, just to clarify one thing in case anyone, you know, who's unfamiliar with norms, maybe was, was, was unclear. This is a chain with multiple locations. And, you know, we were describing the one, Jordan was describing the one location and the vibe in there, but I think that's a, that applies to all the different norms is at least the ones I've been to and I've been to a number of them. I used to frequent both the ones on Pico, the one in Santa Monica and the one in Estelle, West LA quite a bit. And

yeah, always like, no matter what time of day you go, friendly service, a very nice vibe. I always even felt like when there are drunk people in there, it was never like this is unruly and this was crazy. It was never like that late night McDonald's or sometimes where it's like, oh, this is kind of a weird uncomfortable place to be because people are just so fucked up. And, and I really like that about it. And also too, I will say that the consistency of food across the different chains is like you always feel, I always feel like you know what you're going to get, that we never close ethos. I really admire and I like that they're just so committed that they just go all the way. And it always feels like they have enough servers there,

partly because they are always, you know, they tend to be pretty crowded. A lot of people eat there because it delivers something that a lot of, that you can't get a lot of places. Another thing we haven't touched on and I think is relevant because especially contrasted with another place we went to in San Francisco, Mitch, is the price point at norms is very good, especially for LA. It's like, it's not super expensive. It's like, it's got a lot of affordable stuff. It has like an early bird special. It has like a lunch special during the weekdays. They have a lot of deals that make this place not something that's going to where it's going to break the bank. And yeah, I really like the food. They just do those diner classics really, really

well. You know, the salad was, the salad and the clubhouse were just ordinary, but the, and there was obviously the issue with the chicken tenders, but the hotcakes and the patty melt were fantastic. The diner coffee was fantastic. I'm going to go with Jordan. The service was fantastic. As I mentioned, I'm going to go with Jordan. I think norms deserves four forks and belongs in the golden plate club. I'm going to send it over to Mike Mitchell, Mitchy Two Spoons. Oh boy. You can wreck. You can wreck shot, Mitch. I understand if you feel like you say what's in your like you need to wreck shop. I liked the I liked the ad. I like the atmosphere in there. I liked the attitude that the staff had. I thought it was a fun place. I like the

signage. I like like big birds. I like a place like norms right. It has a spot in my heart, even though I don't even this is my first visit there. Here is the issue. Sure. It's hard to forgive that biting into the undercooked chicken finger and I just wouldn't feel right. I got I got to give it another visit. So I almost feel income. I feel like my score is kind of more incomplete. I can't give it. I honestly say what's in your mind in my mind. I was going to be like authenticity. We need the need. They don't need to feel like you're you know, putting put cork in the bat. Yeah, don't cork the bat. Mitch and I can't. I can't

and you know what though? Remembering how good the patty melt was. It was good. The fries. I thought we're just okay. Nick sandwich in the fries. Nick sandwich. Nick sandwich could have been better. The ab platter outside of the chicken fingers were was fine, but the chicken fingers really kind of ruin that for me. I was going to go. I was going to say right below a three. I was going to say two point nine, but that patty melt was very, very good. The pancakes were very good. The service was good. The atmosphere was good. So I'm going to give it. Here's what I'm going to give it right now. It's an incomplete score three point one five forks. Okay. I know that it's a good place, but I can't in good conscious go into the golden

play club yet. Yeah, after the first visit there was was there was an there was an accident like that right. I got you and I like I like the menu. I like that they offered kind of some crate like weird lemonade. They had like a lot of like weird things that I didn't think they would have on this menu right and like fun stuff that like that I hop tries, but it felt like less of a giant corporation right and it felt like more authentic food in somewhat. You know what I mean? Like it felt like we're like that other stuff feels mass produced or something. I mean, I think both those things feel that feel that way because they're true. I think it is. Yeah, it's not a massive corporation. I think it is a little fresher, but this is it's almost an

incomplete for me. I'm sorry. No, that's very fair. I think that's reasonable. I think you're a reasonable man. Yeah, Mitch, go fuck yourself. I think I found that electro song. Oh, really? I think so. Okay. Should I should I play it? Yeah, let's see if this electro electro song works. While you're doing that with that was our review of norms. It's time for a regular segment. We got a beverage. We're gonna decide if you should pour it down your throat. It's drink or stink. I'm gonna get this these drinks ready to consume. It's called paranoia paranoia. Okay. Yeah, this sucks. Like these weird things that go through his head,

as he's about to attack Spider-Man, right? I got a question for you. Please. So you got it. You got you got a taste of it. Yeah. I've seen the movie. I saw it in theater. Oh, okay. Yeah. How does he write for you? Because Spider-Man was, I think Spider-Man was one of my favorite favorites. Oh, sure. Yeah. I would say he is my favorite comic book character. I definitely was as a kid. Okay. Yeah. Marvel heroes or in general, I'm the poor one for Rob, too. There you go, Rob, if you want it. No pressure. Don't feel like you have to drink that. Yeah, I was more of an Iron Man guy. Oh, wow. Yeah, I like Iron Man in the comics. I like, I did like the Avengers, though, specifically the West Coast Avengers. Oh, you like Wonder Man.

The Sentry. Yeah. I like the West Coast Avengers because it was West Coast. I like that it was associated with the Western United States. I get a lot of crap for Boston and Quincy. It, rightfully so. Yeah. But I don't think I would be like, yeah, East Coast Avengers. I don't know. You would love it. You would. If there was Boston Avengers, you would eat that shit. You'd say into this very day how though they were the best of Larry Bird, but he's covered in feathers. I would love that. All right. So we've got these Starbucks refreshers. You pick these up for us, Mitch. This is a sparkling juice blend, real coconut water, real fruit juice. This first one is strawberry lemonade. I filled up these blue solo cups for you guys. We can take a sip and

let us know what we think. Let everyone know what we think. Yeah. So this has a little bit of an artificial tang, which I'm pretty sensitive to when it comes to soft drinks. Yeah. Anything that has a little nutrisweet or it's a coconut water, right? I guess so. Yeah. Can you hand me the can, Jordan? Yeah. It's got a nice little carbonation to it. Yeah. You can, you know, the strawberries there, the lemonade is there. Right. Yeah. If I'm getting artificial tang, it better be from a real doll. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Wait, since this is Starbucks, is this supposed to have some sort of caffeinated kick to it? I don't think this is caffeinated. No, it's just a flavored juice blend drink from Concentrate. It is real coconut water, real fruit juice, which is surprising to me because

I, it tasted artificial. You know what? 90 calories for a can of that size for the sweetness of this is better than I thought it would be. It's a pretty good size can. Not quite a monster energy, but. Swap this out for a soda. Yeah. It doesn't have, yeah, it's all natural, but it has a lot of additives. Here's what I got to say about it. I think it's specifically the banana taste that leaves a little bit kind of like a medicine taste. Yeah, it's a little medicine. You're absolutely right. Right towards the end of it. I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, do you guys need a pour out cup? If you need to pour them out, you can go in this one. Oh yeah. Are we going to refill the flavor? We've got another one. Okay. I'm actually just going to finish mine off real quick. Okay.

You know, I don't mind this. I agree. It's a little medicine-y. That's the main issue, but I like that it's just lightly carbonated. Like that actually really works for this flavor. It's very much the carbon, the medicine taste though is like, I didn't even, it took like, it took like 20 seconds. It took a while. Sneaks up on you. And then this other one, we're passing around. And, you know, actually, can you read the label for me, Rob? And let me know what it says. Peach passion fruit. Thank you so much. It's a little better. Yeah. This definitely, this definitely doesn't have the medicine-y kick that the other one does. I like this one quite a bit. Yeah. Wally just got interested. I think this one, I, what I like

about it is the, Ooh, Wally's up on the table. It reminds me of, does he, does, does Wally like juice? I don't think so. Okay. Can cats drink juice? I've never fed them juice, which I'm sure people are happy to hear. Just pour them some ocean spray before you leave the house. You know, there's, there's going to be like a reddit thread now that's like, I don't think Mitch doesn't know what to feed his cats. I think he's feeding him like people food. I feed my cats. I feed my cats fancy feast, a seafood dry food, and then I feed them whatever like the nine lives, wet food is occasionally right and I give them water. That's the other thing. My cats are

weird in that they don't like, I'll put out like milk. Like when they were younger, I'd be like, it's your birthday and I will put out milk. Sure. This is embarrassing because that's what cartoon cats love. That's what cartoon cats love. And my old cats loved milk. Oh yeah. And they would love butter and, and they would look at butter. If butter was around, I mean, we wouldn't be feeding them butter. Right. But, but yeah, they like, they like, they don't love milk. They don't love human food that much. They just don't, they just don't care about it. My cat is really interested in strawberry tops, the little leafy part of strawberries, which I guess this, that's something I like to do is sit on the couch and eat strawberries. And I put the little,

you know, I'll have a little bowl next to me for the tops. I turn my back, cat's face is in there. Oh boy. Are they eating them or are they playing with them? Or I think she's, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I try not to let her have them because, I mean, I think like anything on the internet, I Googled, can a cat eat a strawberry top and the first result was no poison. Yeah, cat will die. So I try not to let her eat them, right, which is, which is crazy. I feel like there's so few things that a cat would, because they were not going to eat it. If it's, I mean, like they normally wouldn't eat it right. A funny thing, Nick, that you and I found out the undertaker, the wrestler, afraid of cucumbers, just like cat. Yeah, very strange. Yes. How does

that manifest itself? I think that they like gross him out and make him sick and then Paul bearer used to put slices of cucumber in like they put a slice of cucumber in his iced tea and then he like puked ever where was it was? I got like a restaurant. I don't remember specifically the Paul bear snuck a piece of cucumber into his iced tea. Yeah, and he saw and he like it had a big thunderous puke right all over the place because he like because cucumbers cut freak him out. That's like the kind of that's like the good mori. I feel like used to do like this person's afraid of X and they'd have some person on with some bizarre phobia. Oh yeah, then they would bring a person, then they would have a stagehand come on with bubble wrap. Right. You kind of watch this middle

age woman run around the stage. I remember one time this watching this woman have a panic attack because of her related to her fear of mustard. Just like how did that happen? I have no idea. But yeah, I would say this is a winner. This one I really like. I like passion fruit quite a bit. I like it in a juice. This is actually as we were talking about sense of memories earlier. This gives me a sense of memory of drinking some passion fruit juice on a plane in Hawaii when I was a kid. Yeah, when I my trip to Hawaii when I was six that I kind of remember my grandpa who I mentioned earlier, who you guys had at a big rack, crashed his rental car. Oh no. Yeah, but he was fine. Sure. Yeah. But I bet that if he got pulled over, he could get out of that ticket.

Sorry about that, officer. Is there anything you could do to make this go faster? Whoops, dropped my license. Better pick it up. Yeah, you know, this is a mild stank to me. It's not unpleasant. But yeah, just a little medicine-y. If you're kind of going betwixt soda and seltzer, this is more unpleasant than a seltzer to me, but it doesn't have the delicious kick of a full cal soda. And also, maybe if this was a substitute for a monster or a rock star or cup of coffee or something, I could see some benefits. Maybe it's a fun way to get a little pep. But yeah, as far as if it's if it's just kind of a pepless treat. Yeah, mild stank. Yeah, I think that's fair. I'm gonna give a mild drink to both of them. Yeah, I think they're they taste

just good enough. The medicine-y aftertaste on that one is not good. Yeah, but they're both just good enough that I would drink a can of that and be like, even though it doesn't really do too much for you, I guess it's probably what 30 or 40 calories less than a can of Coke, right? Yeah, it's the kind of sugar, right? It's the kind of thing of like, is this going to satiate your desire to have something sweet? And if 22 grams of carbs, right? So this is then 20 grams of sugar. This isn't like healthy. Yeah, this is this is just it's a little better than than you know, like a can of Pepsi or whatever. Yeah, I would say I'm just going to go with an ink, because I think this is exactly between drink and stank. I liked one of them. I didn't like

the other one. You know, there's no real reason I get this, but I also don't object to it either. And maybe it'll be fine for some people. But yeah, nothing, nothing particularly exciting about these. Hey, Weiger, you were you were in Hawaii right around. Oh, wait, Joe versus a volcano doesn't take place in Hawaii, does it? I don't know. I don't think so. I think it's a different. I think it's a different island. It's a different island. Yeah. All right. Well, what Joker are you going to make? No, I was just I was just saying it would be an exciting time to be in Hawaii to go versus the volcano came out. They might have filmed it there. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I do remember seeing that movie in theaters with my parents and having a great time.

That sounds fun. Yeah. And afterwards I said, it's Meg Ryan's in that movie, right? I said, Meg Ryan should be nominated for an Oscar. And they're like, you dumb little kid. You don't know. You don't know what something good is. Hey, that was tank tanker stink just like a restaurant via your feedback. Let's talk about the feedback and we have a voicemail today. Let's listen to this. Hey, Doughboy, this is Max from St. Louis. I'm having a bachelor party for my friend this weekend. Another fellow Doughboy's listener. I was wondering what kind of food you like at bachelor parties. Have fun. Bye-bye. Wondering what food that was Max from St. Louis, as he said. Wondering what kind of food we like at bachelor parties. Jordan, you strike me as

someone who's attended some bachelor parties in your day. Boy, yes, I have attended some bachelor parties. And I think that if you're making a weekend out of it, do a steakhouse. Oh, yeah. Get the gang together. Everybody put on their best coats, ties, whatever you consider to be your best. Throw it on, go to a steakhouse, go big, apps, sides, drinks, of course. Yes. But yeah, but also just like if it's a weekend thing where you're chilling around a vacation home or something, just party, fun party food, finger foods. Yeah, so maybe one big nice meal and then just kind of unhealthy snacking. That's my vote, I think. Mitch, anything, that's a great answer. Mitch, anything for bachelor party fair? Bachelor party fair. Yeah. What kind of food would

you want there? Specifically, I think just in general. I think that it's always, I agree with Jordan. I mean, I'm thinking of ones that, a lot of the ones I go to are in Las Vegas. Right. But just because of proximity and it's Sin City and Sin City, which I don't like. Sinning is bad. I agree. Yeah, you're right, Mitch. I agree. I'm not going to hear to tell you sinning is good. It's bad. It's bad. I think sometimes, yeah, you get a nice steak dinner would be nice. I'm thinking of when we went to Vegas, we would, we would go, we went to like one nice steakhouse, like cut or something like that. Right. Yeah, they all sound similar. It's like cut or sure steak or raw or whatever. The just the we're going to go big at the

and then you know I went to the Taco Bell Canteen. I think that that's always the more fun stuff is is kind of like the shittier food when you're right because because you're out with your friends, you're partying. Yeah way you want to end up. You want to end up at a norms maybe you want. You want to have fun with some get that last little bit of diarrhea before you get married. You know one last one last ride. You don't get it once you're married. Oh man. That's true. Man, I would kill to have some diarrhea. You're so regular going on eight years with no diarrhea. Totally regular. Boy, you know it's worth it though. It's worth it. Not me and Mitch couple of bachelors every court every day. Yeah. I mean my answer would be you know to as far as bachelor party

food is to do what I did with my bachelor party and not have one. Yeah. Don't have any. Don't bother with that. Sure. Who cares? But you know. What would your bachelor party meal be? I wouldn't do it. I didn't do it and I wouldn't do it. That's this seems like not only a fun thing to do but maybe a pitch for a mid-budget comedy couple of buddies. Yeah. Huge Hawks. They got a friend who's you know who's maybe not not what you would consider to be a party animal. Eloped and we were throwing him a late in life bachelor party. Oh, a late in life bachelor party. You know. Sure. The bachelor party he never had. Right. Exactly. Or that could also be an old guy comedy. Like that feels like that's a thing of like the old guy maybe his you know

his wife passed away. Sure. Yeah. Definitely want to add a dead wife into this. He's getting he's well because for some emotional resonance in the third act. No you're right. But he's getting remarried. Yeah. And now it's like this guy we're gonna have an old guy bachelor party. I'm doing the doggie. That's what you want. Yeah. Be a lot of fun. Is this vaping my Julan? Look, it's chappy. What is this movie? Come along chappy's written when they really thought chappy was going to take off. If you have a question about the world, there's all those battle-born characters ready player one. That's a clever remark. Anyway, you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830 463 6844

to get the dowboys double our weekly bonus episode. Join the golden play club at patreon.com slash dowboys. Jordan Morris, you're the funniest people on earth. Yeah. I hope people check out bubble. Tell us about bubble real quick, which are our buddy bitches. Yeah. Well, this is you know, there's there's the dowboys fingerprints is all over this thing. Literally. Yes. You both have very greasy hands. So yeah, this is a scripted comedy podcast that I'm doing with maximumfun.org with the great writer Nick Adams, who is a writer for Bojack Horseman and a bunch of other cool people. We wrote eight episodes of this kind of weird sci-fi comedy. It's a it's like there's a kind of a Portland-ish hipster city that is under a literal bubble,

hence the name bubble, no the and but there's monsters on the outside they start to get in. So yeah, I think if you're into if you're into stuff like Buffy or Portlandia or stuff that's maybe a little action and a little comedy, you'll enjoy this. One of the leads is one Mike Mitchell, who is really, really funny in it and got a bunch of other cool people. Alison Becker, Christella Alonzo, Keith Powell from 30 Rock and some some dowboys faves that I think people will recognize. John Hodgman, current insane drifter, does a little voice in it. Vanessa Ramos, Rob Hubel. So yeah, I think it's a kind of a cool weird thing that we're trying. I don't know if people will take to narrative in their podcasts, but I hope they do. It's called Bubble

and it comes out June 13. It was awesome. It was a pleasure to be a part of. Yeah, you are really funny. No, Jordan and we owe Jordan just for everything with our podcast. He says he knew so much so much about that getting into it. It's a one of our favorite guests. They're one of the best and more and more credit where credit is due. A certain Nick Weiger came in and did punch up on the thing. And I think I think maybe you can attest to this, Mitch, like it is very obvious when a Weiger joke comes up in this in a really good way. It's like you're you're a distinct man with a great sense of humor and it is it is definitely all over this thing smattered throughout because I think you were there for punch up on all the scripts. So so yeah, definitely if you're

a dowboys fan, something something for you in there. Look out for a scene where the mischievous Bob Kevin and Stuart wander in searching out some bananas. Yeah, we might actually that might have been a legal problem. We may have had to cut that. Yeah, I guess we can't have licensed characters in it. Fuck. Yeah. All right. So we had to change their names too. Bill Pedro and Tina, the first female minion. It's about time. Yeah, there is there are there no female men. There are no female minions. I actually thought that the the explanation for that was, you know, whatever that it's OK. It's OK to think that that's that's not cool. And certainly that there there's an issue with the with women being underrepresented to this day.

But I think I thought the explanation from it from the director, Pierre Coffin, was kind of that like men are just like boys are just more buffoonish and you get scared by Pierre Coffin. Coffin. Oh, French people. I mean, I don't know. I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but he was just talking about like like boys are inherently more buffoonish women like girls are too smart for to to seem this like silly. It would not come across the slapstick would not come across the same way. I don't think so. But yeah, remind us one more time where people can check out bubble bubble. That's wherever you get podcasts or at maximumfun.org. Yeah, just search for it and wherever you're using to listen to this and it'll pop up and I hope you enjoy it.

All right. Hey, Jordan, sorry, you got one of our combat combat. No, I know it was fine. We had fun. It was a roller coaster. A delightful roller coaster with two of the funniest guys in the world. I got to go back to norms. Yeah. I got to go. Yeah, let me know if you ever want to I will go back with you. And if you want to get a couple of drinks, that'd be great. I would love to go to norms and hear what you think. I'll finally cream that corn for you. Keep your hands off my corn. You fucking pervert. See ya. Hey, guys, you want more Doughboys? To get the Doughboys double or weekly bonus

episode, join the Golden Play Club. Sign up at patreon.com slash Doughboys. Do it.