Doughboys - Nugget Power Hour with Nicole Byer & Jon Gabrus

Episode Date: April 20, 2017

As Doughboys inexplicably reaches its hundredth episode, two of Mitch and Wiger’s favorite guests, Nicole Byer and Jon Gabrus, return to compete in a gut-wrenching challenge: The Nugget Power Hour. Each of the four attempt to eat 60 McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets in 60 minutes. Plus, some special messages from ghosts of Doughboys past.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. So reads the opening line of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's classic 100 Years of Solitude. Colonel Buendia certainly could never have predicted a world where ice was so plentiful it was dispensed free of charge from machines at every quick service eatery in the country. It's such as our reality in 2017 America, and 100 episodes into this humble podcast we witness sea changes in the world of chains. The release and retraction of Taco Bell's naked chicken chalupa, the westward expansion

of Midwest and Southern Staples Steak and Shake and Cracker Barrel, and the shattering of much maligned regional franchise caros. What will the world of chain restaurants look like 100 episodes from now, if we even survive until then? This week on Doughboys, our 100th episode. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants for a production of Feral Audio .com. I'm Nick Weigler alongside my co-host, The Sultan of Sweat, the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. Mitch, how are you?

I'm not bad of an insult. It's kind of fun. A very happy 100th... Howdy ho! It's a Spoon Nation. And guess what, Nick? We got a drop. No one sent me a 100th episode drop or anything like that.

Right. No one's ret- no one knows it's the 100th episode just for us. No one knows the 100th episode, but there's a drop anyways. I gotta play it. I haven't listened to it like always. It's probably bad. Here we go. I thought there would be an end to the sentence.

I don't know what I was trying to say. I think it was trying to say that you stammer and don't finish your thoughts. I think that was the thesis of that. A nice, an infectious groove to that one. Yeah, that was nice. Guess we're moving along to it. I guess we're moving along to it. Jonathan Schwartz.

Fair job. You don't have a Twitter shout out, but good job, Jonathan Schwartz. And real quick, let me shout out the guy who threw out the roast, Joe Polanski. Hey, Polanski and Schwartz. The classic comedy team. They wrote City Slickers, right? I think so. That's Lowell and Babaloo.

We know that. I know. It's Babaloo and Mandel. Oh, wait. It's Babaloo and Mandel. Lowell, Babaloo. And what's his name? Maybe Babaloo is his first name.

Lowell. Okay. And Babaloo. Babaloo Mandel. It is Lowell and Mandel. You're right. You dumb fuck. Get your shit straight.

It's the hundredth episode. It's the hundredth episode. We still don't have it together. I want to real quick just point out this is a special episode. We're breaking format a little bit. If everyone has been following along with JJ April, we've done so far. This episode is not a part of JJ April. Wait a minute.

We'll get back on track next week. One of our guest's names is J.G. That's true. That's true. We do have a J.G. guest. So maybe that... All right. This is canonically a part of JJ April now.

People confuse J's and G's the most of any of the letters. You think so? Yes. I think people confuse all the letters that end in E, like B, C, D. Like if you're setting it over a phone, that's why you got to be like Bravo, Charlie, Delta, or someone will not know what you're saying. Yeah, but sometimes people... G's and J's are the one...

That's the two easiestly confused letters. You think so? What about C and K? C and K? No. C and K? No. You don't think so?

No. Louis C.K. Not Louis K.C. I think people might make that mistake. I wouldn't say J and G are definitely 100% the most confused letters. They are. Move on. I'm right.

We're 100 episodes in. We went for our first episode, we reviewed Chili's, we've used a lot of restaurants over the next almost two years that we've been doing this podcast. Two years. Almost two years. Well, life sucks. And you know, also this 100th episode comes out on 420, the holiday of marijuana enthusiasts. So...

We got the right guy here. What have our guests... Actually, both of our guests, I think, enjoy marijuana quite a bit. Is this where we're allowed to talk? Let's introduce them. You're looking right at me. I would have chimed in way earlier. We've never found a way to make this not awkward.

We've got two of our favorite guests here, Nicole Byer and John Gabrus. Guys, thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us. We're excited. Yes. This is... this might be a little crazy. We should talk about it.

So we... Forever, forever, people wanted us to talk about it. People wanted us to... And Gabrus, this is... I mean, this is inspired by your podcast, by the way, Trudeau. Because you did a power hour on my podcast. We did a power hour on your podcast. We wanted to do something fun.

Right. And we thought with that review, and McDonald's just seemed like, I don't know. We could have done it for the 100th episode. It could have been like, this is the one chain we haven't... One of the chains we haven't tackled yet. This is a big one. This is the biggest fast food restaurant in America. We could have gone that route.

We're going a different route. We're still holding out for Ronald himself. Wait, that's insane that you haven't reviewed McDonald's. Isn't it? I know. We also haven't reviewed Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' Donuts. We haven't reviewed KFC.

It's from a Boston dude. I know. KFC, we haven't done... There's a bunch that we haven't. I almost said CFK, because I got the letters confused. That doesn't happen. It does happen. People do it all the time.

This is Gon J. Bristocking. I just want to say, also, it's crazy that you haven't done Quiznos either, and I don't know why. I think that's a crazy one. Quiznos is disgusting. Quiznos sounds like a long island shit-fold. Hey, you want to come to Quiznos? Quiznos is just a guy's house that sells you fucking pills that he found.

I don't know what this is. It could be Advil. Hey, it's Johnny Quiznos. Sorry. I'm really wound up. That's good. It's a good thing that you're wound up. Also...

Gavis is... Tummy's out. This is great. Gavis, you're a big guy. You're a well-defined. You're a well-defined big man. What does that mean? A well-defined big man.

He looks fucking good with this shirt off. I look like... When I take my shirt off, I look like sick. Yeah, I just have only one roll. Yeah, that looks... You're like a smooth, fat person. I'm so full. Yeah, great.

Yeah, I'm a full fatty. I'm out completely blown up pool float. There ain't nothing to squeeze on me. I recently... I did... I'm so hungry right now. Well, you're... I almost started doing that.

I almost just... While you're playing the drop, I was like, oh, this is so fucking boring. Gavis, I just want to say... That is not edited at all. That's from the Subway episode. It's completely unedited. How do you... You just added a beat underneath it.

Yes, the drops are very boring. I shouldn't play them anymore. Maybe that's the last drop. You're insulting the people who make things. No, he made a great one. I'm saying that the drops, just in general, they're 30 seconds. Do people like them? I'm going to let the listeners decide.

They keep sending them, right? The listeners will decide if we keep them or not. I just want to say... Here's here. If you're a listener and you want to keep the drops, hashtag drop of come. What? Have you...

Why? You're wild. Yeah, that was wild. And if you want those drops out of here, hashtag drop the drops. Yes. Wait, drop of come. Yes. I don't think I've ever heard you say come. I have definitely heard him say come.

Oh, also come. On the phone, mostly. Can I just say that? You guys are the two funniest people in the world. I don't know about the other side of the world, but... Two of the funniest English-speaking people. Two of the funniest English-speaking people I know. Yeah, you're up there.

I like it. I said to... Nick, I said, we got to do this chicken nugget power hour. We did the power hour with you, Gabriel. I was on your podcast. I did a power hour. And that's kind of where it came from. We talked about it and we said it would be funny to do this.

And then I said, I said, John, Gabriel, and then I said, Nicole, and Nick, your reaction to that was what? It's going to be a mess. I said it's going to be chaos. I didn't say no. It's going to be chaos. But I said it's going to be insane. Man, that's such a compliment.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We teased chicken nugget power hour in the live San Francisco episode a little bit. Right. Which I'm glad we didn't do because that was... We ate a bunch of Taco Bell just before we went up on stage

at the Eureka Theater in San Francisco for Sketch Fest. And then we were also going to eat 60 chicken nuggets during that live show. That would have been... I would have vomited. We definitely would have got sick. There's a chance that you'll get sick here today, Nick. I know that you said that you don't know if you're going

to last 10 minutes. So here's the rules. We got 60 nuggets for each person. So a traditional power hour is a shot of beer every minute, on the minute, for 60 minutes. That's correct. Yes. And which equals us to about seven beers, right?

It's somewhere around there. It's 60... It's five true beers if you pour exactly one ounce. Those chocolates are very small. I feel like I should have gotten bigger ones. That's fine. I'm just going to swig from the can. Yeah.

That's easy, right? Yeah. And then so the other... And then the... And then we have... So 60 nuggets for each person. We have dipping sauces. I also...

We want to thank Noah and Dustin for going out and getting all these chicken nuggets. And we have... Did they go to one McDonald's? They went to 10 different McDonald's. They can only carry them in their cargo pockets from McDonald's to McDonald's. So these have been riding on men's thighs all day.

I don't know why I'm talking about it. They've been riding on our thighs for the... Gabriel, you came in and you had... You and I are both trying to get in shape. Yeah. You made some... Or at least it's something we've been talking about for a decade.

We've been talking about for a long time. You made some strides and now we're going to put you through a chicken nugget power hour, which we apologize for. Yeah. I'm under 300 pounds for the first time in like a year and a half. And I think the last time, based on this table

in front of me, this is the thing that breaks me back. You will be over 300 pounds at the end of the podcast for sure because there will be so many. So here's the deal. We got 25 of each sauce. You can do any sauce you want. We also got some fries just for the fun of it.

And then... So basically you either have to eat a nugget on the minute, every minute, or if you want, you can change over to beer or you can switch off, like Kaper said. When the bell is ringing though, you're either eating a nugget or you're drinking a beer. Yeah.

All right. And if you don't nug, you got a chug. Yeah. And if you don't chug, you got a nug. All right. The opposite of what you said. You lose today and I like it. Weigert has became the black woman in the room

at that moment. Oh, boy. Somehow. If you gots to nug, you better chug. Chow. He's wearing a lace front wig now. My dream come true is that Weigert becomes a... And then Nicole, you see him auditions

and you're like, I fucking hate this guy. The fuck? He does the reverse dollazole? Oh, no, I guess it's not the reverse dollazole. No, that's a dollazole. It's just a dollazole. I'm excited to eat these chig and nuggets. I haven't had McDonald's in a year and a half.

Oh, my God. I can almost starting. All right. So Nick, how do you feel? How many minutes are we into this? We're 10 minutes in. I think we should go for it because this is going to take a full hour.

All right. So hold on. Don't start yet. Let's just get my sauces out. Everyone get prepared. I downloaded an interval timer, which is normally used for people's workout routines, but today we'll be using it to make sure

that we stay on track with nugget consumption. So every minute there will be a chime and that bell that rings will cue us to eat a nugget. Do you want to give me those so I can get them off the table and give them some space? Okay. Nick, and everyone, everyone, or give me the two bags I was saying

because I can hand out sauces for people. I want to know what people are going with for their sauce. Okay. Let's talk a little sauce discussion. Ooh, I'm going to do the creamy ranch. I'm going to mix up a lot, but one of my favorite chicken nugget sauce is pure honey. And McDonald's used to give you the little honey packets.

It would either come with breakfast or with the nuggets, and that was my dream, and they didn't have it at this McDonald's. They stopped giving you the honey with the nuggets there, right? Right, I think so. It's just with breakfast? Yeah, I think it's done so now. So I got a bottle of bear honey.

Love it. Everything in this house is bear or something. Including Mitch. You were gay. You'd be a bear. We're going to rub beers at the end of this podcast just to really fucking patronize our bear chaser family. If we became one,

we should go into the fly machine and become the ultimate bear fucking fantasy. You and I. A 12 foot 600 pound awful accented monster. Doesn't it just like... Also, Gabriel and I are like ready to go. We have opened our nuggets. Oh, you need nuggets.

Okay, there's some in there. I need some sauces. I'm bone dry over here. One type of sauce. I'm personally going to go with sweet and sour barbecue is where I'm sticking with it. Give me those two. Give me a sweet and sour, give me a barbecue.

I'll stick with you. Here's a tangy barbecue. We've been through this through 100 episodes. Tangy barbecue. There's bowls there. If you need bowls, you can put your nuggets in the bowls. I'm not going to take a bowl.

What is it? What's the bowl for? And then get on all fours and eat it off the ground. But they're not like sweet and sour too, bud. They're not, thank you so much. They're not like wings where you have to discard anything afterwards. A nugget is all edible,

so I don't know what the bowl is for. It's just for puking. Let's just have sauce stations around the table. By the way, this table looks like a fucking trap house if the trap only sold things that made you fat. Yeah. That bag is, we got a garbage bag. Oh, there's an Oreo candy bar?

That's disgusting. That's a future. That's a future. Actually, maybe we'll do a snack or whack today. We got some Twix eggs. We're not going to talk about what we're going to eat next. We're not going to taste more snacks after this. We're going to eat this and we're going to be done.

Maybe something that's dessert. I got my sauce open. Okay, I'm going to start the timer. There will be a five second countdown. Then you will hear a bell ding. That will be your cue to eat your first nugget. And then there will be a bell ding every subsequent minute for 60 minutes until we are done.

I just want to say drinking games are stupid. This is all stupid. This is all stupid. It's stupid. I have to disagree. Okay. I disagree. If you're choosing a drinking game,

you're making a very specific decision for your future. And it's fun. That's true. You're making a choice to have a little fun. Maybe I just don't like to drink anymore. But whatever. We're going to figure this out as it goes. We're going to figure it out as we go.

We're going to talk about that at minute 55. Beers are being cracked open. Saucers are being peeled apart. We're ready to go. Here begins the countdown for the nugget power hour. I'm starving. Here we go. Weird.

There it is. A ding. Okay. I started with a nug. I started with a nug. I started with a nug. I think we're all going for nuggets first. Also, everyone tried to not eat on mic.

This is going to be a nightmare for people who hate the sound of chewing. Yeah. We have a lot of people who have said like, I'm this close to unsubscribing because you guys won't stop eating into the mic. And this one will definitely push them over to the edge. So our numbers will go down a little bit. I have something to say to that person. There are other podcasts.

No, there's not. There's only one. You can listen to whatever you want. There's a lot of shows people don't eat on, but you're listening to a fast food podcast. There's no other podcast where two idiots argue about Star Wars. You can't find that anywhere on the iTunes store. I'll tell you something.

We'll find them. The chicken nuggets are like fucking crack. Yeah. After not having them for a year and a half, I'm like, I'm back. I'm truly having a hard time not having a second one. Like actively waiting for the next minute. It might be hard for the first couple of times.

This is the baddest I've ever felt. I'm like shaking, waiting for that ding so I can eat another fucking nug. It's just going to end with us. Sweet release. It's going to end with us having finished our 60 nuggets and wanting more nuggets and weigher with X's over his eyes on the floor. Us with like postmates open on our phone. I just got to get more.

Boy, that is real tasty. These have been sitting for a while and they're still just good as hell. They're still good. They are slightly cooler than room temperature and working. I like it. I'm into it. Creamy Ranch is new. Give a little McDonald's history.

I haven't eaten at McDonald's in forever either. What's wrong with you guys? I don't eat at McDonald's. Because I try not to eat fast food anymore. Same. I'll treat myself to Shake Shack or In-N-Out and that's it. I'll treat myself to Taco Bell. Oh, there you go.

So like if I'm going to eat gross, like even if I feel the impulse to have McDonald's, I'm like save it for Taco Bell. Right. Because if I have McDonald's one week and then Taco Bell, it just speeds up too much. It is funny making your fast food choice. Because I do that all the time too.

What am I going to have this week? Oh, fuck. How exciting. I usually do Taco Bell too. Nick, what's your fast food choice? I got a mouthful of nugget. Give me one second to chew. I guess we all got a mouthful of nuggets right now.

There's just going to be a spot where we're chewing. I'm done. I've swallowed it like a snake. I threw it up in the air and it's already out of my ass. Shot down my stomach like a slide in Goonies. It was actually amazing. It threw up. He threw it out in the air.

It went down and shot out his ass in all in one motion. Right into the toilet. I'm just eliminating the middleman. And then Wally flushed it with his paw. High five. This is the most disgusting episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse ever. You asked what my go-to fast food, what my guilty pleasure is.

What's your indulge? Del Taco. All 100% go Del Taco, but also in and out burger. So how many times a month are you eating Del Taco? That's a once a month thing for me. I don't think in and out for me for some reason, because I don't really eat French fries. Speaking of French fries, we have some French fries just for fun.

Sides don't have to stay on the sideline. Sides are all, this is off, I'm going to choke, hold on. The ranch sauce, I haven't been in McDonald's in so long that they didn't have ranch when I went. Oh shit. Yeah, unless it was on the sandwich. Yeah, or at least I didn't realize. But ranch is so ubiquitous.

I was so excited when they introduced ranch. I used to love double quarter pounders. That was like my go-to at McDonald's. I love that fake cheese, the weird meat. Oh, I love it. It's a great sandwich. They're good. They're cold.

How cold? Pretty cold. I think this is hubris that you guys are eating fries for nuggets in. Are you guys doing like two bites for your nugget, like two different sauces like I currently am to maximize my sauces? I'm doing them like sushi. I'm just doing them as a one-shot.

Oh, okay. Are you dipping? What are you dipping over there? You're just swallowing? Nick, you really? I'm chewing. I'm not just swallowing. But yes, I'm doing a dip in a barbecue

and then I'm putting the whole thing in my mouth. I'm just doing it. But I got a big mouth. I'm a giant mouth guy. We know. We've seen you vape. You're making fun of me because before we were recording, we were talking about my struggles with a vape pen.

And then you were implying that the way that I was showing how to use a vape pen was akin to sucking a man's dick. You said, I don't know how to suck it. Yes. I did refer to it. And then you did a motion like you were sucking a dick. I did refer to it. And you started gagging.

You started gagging. You started gagging. And I started coming. Oh, this habanero ranch is a new mix. Is it good? Yeah, it's good. It's a little spicy. I got a lot of sauces open.

Let me get one of those habanero ranches. Fuck, these are so good. These are so fucking good. Oh, the habanero ranch is like legit spicy. That's good. I'm into it. Uh-oh. I don't have the habanero ranch.

Fuck! Jesus Christ. One of the sauces is open. Pick a sauce, guys. Pick a sauce. I'm cranking open the sweetened sour. I got a little barbecue for my first five. I'm starting to switch it up with this leg.

I've got like 10 different sauces open. And I'm just dipping like three times each. There we go. I'm going to be sick on dip. I couldn't find them. The habanero ranch. I couldn't find them. There's no way there's only one in there.

Is there another bag of sauces? There might be. I mean, I think this is all nuggets in here. I got this Rachel Ray bag. Again, this is not branded content for the Rachel Ray bag, but it's a great insulated bag. It'll keep your food warm or cold. And we got all the nuggets in there for the back end.

Rachel Ray made it herself. She's a hero. Yeah. But what was your... So what it like... You said the... What was your... You're saying the ranch is your...

Your happy that they have it? Is that your favorite dip and sauce? Or how would you guys rank the dip and sauces? No, I was just saying like... I was just saying like, holy shit, once McDonald's got ranch, you'd realize how ubiquitous ranch... I never...

It wasn't a thing when I was going. I remember asking for mac sauce for my fries is like the thing that you could do there. That was like the sauce we were seeking out. Now McDonald's has sriracha. That's talking about ubiquitous. Sriracha. Sriracha is everywhere.

That and the word aioli are just like everywhere. I'm just going to be looking through bags for the entire episode. I'm about to give up. This lack of having our ranch is bullshit. Ah! You got it? Got him.

Got him. Can I get one too? Yeah, hold on. The pathetic guy who could have found it and then I was like, I want it too, please. You have enough for everybody? So far, not so bad.

I feel alright at the moment. Not so bad. I should be able to do 60 nuggets. Again, we're seven nuggets in. I'm feeling better than I could have ever imagined. My shirt is completely unbuttoned. I actually feel stronger. What's on this shirt?

Oh, it's me. You're promoting your other podcast? The Almighty? Wow! Sometimes I got to wear my podcasty shirt when I'm on another podcast. So people can hear. So people can hear.

Oh my God. Jesus Christ. That's going to happen. That will happen. Okay, combined with the honey. The bell dings again. It's time for another round of nugget consumption. Holy shit.

You mean it sounds sad or something? That's some spice to ranch. But that's not really ranch. I'm going to start doing some combo dips, which is the thing I got into recently. It's like creamy spice. 30 seconds ago. It's not because I'm stoned out of my mind.

That's honey and what? Habanera? Gabers, you came in. You stepped outside for a second. You smoked a whiffle ball. I called that size joint, which I wanted Weigher to smoke too. It sure was a huge joint. It was a very big joint.

And it had hash in it as well. Living your best life. It was very much like if Paul Bunyan did draw. It was very funny to see you smoking that. And also I think, residually everyone in the apartment has gotten a little bit too old. Everyone was like, I don't really smoke.

I'm like, I'm not going to blaze in your house. Also Mitch, like... I'm going to switch to beer. Oh, there you go. It's a good move. What was that noise? My phone's not on silent mode. Oh, okay, okay. I thought you made that noise.

You make that noise when you have a sip. The beer train's here. All aboard! Oh guys, we can tell we're ten minutes in because our ten packs of nuggets are empty. Wait, are they? No, we're eight minutes in. Gamer's, did you eat your extra nuggets?

I just finished the ten pack because they were in front of me. I have like five sauces open. Oh my God. I fucking love it. We're ten minutes in. Gamer's know we're eight minutes in. Man, time gets crazy when you're stoned. Holy shit, I just hammered down nuggets. Wait, are we nine minutes in or eight minutes in?

We're eight minutes in, so... That's the ninth nugget. I'm going to pretend I'm having it now. I'm going to do the same thing because I actually got a nugget ahead of myself. I don't know how I did it. Weigar? The residual high. Weigar's feeding him the Wally over there. Wally's like 41 pounds when we leave.

His stomach is dragging on the ground. Can cats handle nuggets? I think cats would love nuggets. Cats eat meat? I think cats eat meat. Bird is their most traditional food, right? At least according to cartoons? Or fish bones?

Yeah, fish bones and parakeets. Dogs eat cats? In the acme world, cats love fish and birds. And mice. They present mice. You know what's funny is that they've been breaking into my sock drawer. This isn't funny or interesting. So now Irma's pregnant.

I'm going to say that it would suck if Wally gained 41 pounds, it would suck. Because then people would be like, pets are like their own. Fat fuck and his cat. All this fucking cat keeps talking about it. He used to row crew and his head was big. I'm such a fan of both Mitch and Weigar

and Nicole, but... Thank you for including me. But I listened to Doe Boy so religiously that I feel like I should have brought in like my Martin Luther 95 theses. Here's a couple of things I've thought, because my favorite fast food tie-in with a movie was

the Hercules triple burger for 99 cents. You're McDonald's. My dad was the first time, because it was just pure value, that my dad is the first time that he would be like... Or maybe in hindsight now that I'm thinking about it, maybe my dad was just like a drunk old man who was like,

we should get some of those triple cheeseburgers from McDonald's. And we get them for dinner like... My dad, by the way, is not a joke. The reason I can do a remote Donald Trump impression is because it's what my dad actually sounds like. Does he really? My dad permanently sounded like he had a cold

and he was from Long Island and didn't finish high school. So he sounded like a fucking... Can I eat another nugget now or is this the 10th one? This is the 10th one, but go ahead and eat one. We have an extra supply of 10, just in case. We finish all the nuggets, we eat over

240. What's gonna happen? I'm gonna do it. I think that also too, be mindful of it. There's a possibility that they miscounted the 10 count in these packs. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, sure, that's what's happened to

Gabers' 10 pack. Thank you, Nick. I'm going town tank top at minute 10. That's how I play Power Hour. At every 10 minutes, you take off an article. I'm the layers you got there. Just the two. You are...

You look like a college football player. You played rugby, right? Yeah, in high school I played football. What the fuck is rugby? We don't have time for that. Are there sticks? No. As a matter of fact, according to my college's

team's t-shirt, no sticks, no pads, just balls. Oh boy. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I was 18. At that point in my life. Excuse me, I broke as well. Consent was different back then.

It was. Like you're joking about it. I grew up in a different era. You were a good man, Gabers. I know you were. Nicole, will you hand me another 10 pack of chicken nuggets? I actually have not eaten one. That's an insane sentence to say.

Pass me another 10 pack. There are none. Where? In here? Is that bag tapped? I'm going to open it. Why do you always say it's a Rachel Ray bag? I tell you, it's a quality bag. I got it off the Amazon.com. This isn't Brandon Condit, but this is

piping hot in here. You can feel the work coming off it, right? And then that's been sitting for a while, so this thing will do you proper. I'll take a hot pack of nugs, because these are going to be cold anyway in 10 minutes. I'm going to switch to hot nugs. Don't switch out hot.

It's not going to get too cold. I barely knew the rules to this fucking thing. Now you're fucking telling us how to do it. I think that's going to be two nugs. Hot nugs. You fell behind, Mitch. I'm on behind. Wow, okay. How do you let something like that happen to you when

you still have respect? Sorry, I'm not going over the limit. Jesus Christ. I see on my timer it says we have 46 minutes and 30 seconds remaining. I count one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. 13 nuggets so far, which I think I'm on pace, right?

Or am I on behind? I think I'm on pace. I'm starting to get full. I'm also starting to get full. I feel like about 20 I'm going to be like full and about like 30 I'm going to be really full. I don't know if 60 is going to be achievable to me. So that's the lesser known thing about the power hour.

It doesn't seem like a lot, but not taking a break when you want to take a break is the speaking of which is like the crazy part. That's the part that even when it's just sipping beer you're like 60 sips of beer. But when you're just like, I don't want to take another one right now

and you have to. I'm starting to feel it now. And I'm not a big eater. I love food, but I get full pretty quick. I'm definitely a one plate chump at the buffet. Really?

Oh, I can eat like three fucking plates at a buffet. I have like such good plans. I have like a full strategy when I go to a buffet. What do you mean? I do like a pass and I like organize the plates in my head at a time. It's like the fat MacGyver at that moment. I always do meat first

and then do the carbs because I feel like carbs fill you up. I go for like, usually if it's like a Vegas buffet, I go for like seafood first, like crab legs if that's part of the buffet. Or even if it's a China buffet, I'll hit crab legs first just for like this is going to be hard work.

I've never eaten crab legs because I don't know how to open them and I'm embarrassed. Nicole, same. Crab legs are tricky. They're one of those foods I find not worth it. I agree with that. Since I don't have to shuck my own clams, clams are my favorite food, I think.

I gotta say that the Habanero Ranch is a bad move. It's hot. It's spicy. It's very spicy. Yeah, it's not ranchy. It's just like cream spice. I just said spicy mustard. What are your guys' favorite sauces? Well, you know what I mean? I'm a classist.

I'm a classic guy. I go barbecue in Sweden's Hour. I probably put Sweden's Hour number one. I do like that hot mustard a lot. I'm just about to crack hot mustard open to try. I'm a ranch loyalist. I don't like anything else. Only ranch.

You have ranch shampoo. I do have ranch shampoo. Also, I have a ranch filled dildo that I shove inside me. Life-like ejaculations. It dribbles out and I'm like, it's just like... Oh, my God. Pump it into my mouth the way Nick makes.

Was that a ding? That was a ding. I'm switching to beer. That's a ding, baby. You're going to want to run these... Sorry. I can't help myself. I'm not blaming you, but I wonder how the people who are disgusted by us chewing into the mics, I wonder how they're reacting to these loud, gaseous bars.

This is probably the most upsetting episode for them. People are probably throwing up. I think they're giving up. I just don't listen to the whole thing. Well, that'll be like... Now you have Nicole and I on, so that'll bump you up. And then you'll lose the disgusting people that people who get disgusted,

but we'll add a bunch of actually disgusting people. Right. My fans are disgusting. That's my fans. If they don't listen to my podcast, they listen to mine and not yours. The better one that's more popular. I like the deeper, shittier podcast.

I got a ranch situation. I got ranch all over myself. How? Stop shaking that dildo. Another ding. Oh, that's another ding. I'm loving it. We're almost at the 20 mark. And I'm starting to sweat.

It's getting increasingly hotter in the apartment. It's really warm. I also too, just full disclosure, we recorded a double episode just before this where we drank a bunch of sodas. And that'll be out on Tuesday. A bunch of sodas? Just before this.

We drank five sodas worth of beverages. Yeah, we drank about five sodas. And so I'm totally wired and I have like this insane sugar headache. I stopped. I was so funny to watch you realize that it hadn't been yet. You almost ate another one.

And then through his arms down like a child having a fit because he's like, I'm doing it again. I really want to try to do this. Wait, what sodas did you drink? We drank so many different ones. Strawberry soda? Grape soda? Pineapple soda? They got ranch soda.

We did a grape one. We did a butter flavored one. We did a pickle one. Oh, shit. We had some classics in there. We had some squirt. We had some cactus cooler. Can I be honest? Can I say something that's gross? Please do. My penis feels weird.

It feels numb. You haven't showered. What's the matter with you? No, no, no, dude. If you Google chicken nugget numb penis, a lot of people are saying this shit. It feels numb, but also, but then also there's a burning sensation.

I don't know what's going on. I could never have imagined that's what you were going to say. Which is why I said, sure, say whatever this gross thing is. Your penis is burning as we speak? I think it's too much soda. I would have guessed like 15 things before I landed on it. I would have guessed 100 things before I landed on it.

Before I landed on my penis feels weird. Is it just me or does anyone else's penis feel weird? I said this to Gaberson, to Weigur. Nicole, you weren't here for this, but my trainer was like, Wait, I can't drink yet? You can if you want to.

I'm drinking freely and trying to eat. I'm trying to do every nugget. I fell behind shit. I think I'm a nugget behind. I think I have to give up the nuggets. Are you nuggeting it out? I think so. Plenty of time. You can maybe come back in at minute 40

for a few more. Maybe. I literally am on medication that stops you from binge eating. And it works. Usually I can eat nuggets for days. Hey, Nicole, can you break up a pill and Gaberson, I can snort it? I'm on a medication right now

that gives me binge eating skills. I'm using performance enhancing drugs. Michael Jackson's Michael Jackson's doctor that gave you this. Who would ever prescribe you a binge eating drug? We're about to hit 20 nuggets. You want to know who Dr. 420? Yeah, behind.

Wait, what's this? It's about to be 20. You're a nugget behind. Oh shit. Oh shit, get in there. You can have two. I got to knock out two in this round. I'm going to go back in. Unless that is your third 10. Alright, I'm back in it.

Oh, am I? Oh boy. Alright, so why do we do this? Is the 100th episode... We should be eating 100 nuggets. We should. That's why I thought originally it was going to be it. We're going to eat 100 nuggets for the 100th episode.

I believe they call that Century Club if you sip a beer every minute for 100 minutes. Century Club. Because it's 100. Nicole's probably going to tap out at some point. It's totally. Which feels like a win. We're at 80 nuggets.

We've eaten 80 nuggets. There's 160 nuggets left to go. We're a third of the way down. Well, I mean, it's a win in a sense. It's a lose in a general sense, like in terms of that this is our lives. It's like the most beautiful day possible in Southern California.

We're inside your apartment and we're just eating like we're binge eating fast food. Can I steal a nugget? Yeah. Beyond that, I canceled an appointment I had with my physical therapist to do this. That's right. I'm actively damaging my body in two ways.

What happened to your body? I have a lower back issue. That's just a chronic thing and I go to physical therapist, but I just for scheduling reasons, I canceled. So yeah, I'm doing it like the pendulum swinging really far in the opposite direction to this one. I think I got to switch to beer for this round. So when does the beer work?

We've been trying to hike. Gabriel and Mitch and I have been trying to set up a hike and we have not been able to coordinate it. But y'all got scared, eat 100 nugget. Yeah, this was no problem. This was like one tech 24 hours ago. And we were like, yeah, absolutely. We all easily, easily scheduled this.

Yeah. Well, Nick was even like, you want to hike in the morning? I'm like, I'll see you at the chicken nugget thing. Well, guys, Nicole, oh, fucker. That bell, at first it starts and you're like Pavlov's dog and you're salivating and you're excited.

And then it becomes daunting. You're like, oh, I got to get a fucking another nugget. Boy, I think I'm tapped out. My face is getting pretty warm. My question to you guys is, what is your favorite dipping sauce? I want to hear the top dipping sauce. Again? I thought we did that. I thought only Weigher did it.

Oh, okay. Classics. I don't like poor people. I hate poor people. I only use Aoli. The rich people's dip. I'm pure honey. I think that's my favorite.

The buffalo is new to me too. I never had nuggets when they had the spicy buffalo sauce. That's a fun. I wouldn't want to have 20 nuggets with that, but now that I've had 20 something nuggets, being able to hit something spicy every once in a while, just to shake it up a bit. I don't like buffalo sauce because I associate it with blue cheese dip.

Blue cheese? Blue cheese is disgusting. Blue cheese over ranch. I love blue cheese, especially with wings. I think blue cheese is my favorite dressing. Not my favorite dip. I think it's a specialty dip really just for wings. It's too chunky and chalky.

Right. It's not for me. I'm doing honey this time. Mitch almost just threw up on the table. Mitch, how's your penis doing? Still good and numb? Mitch, how's that coming? Yeah, how is it? Still throbbing?

Throbbing? Jesus. I got honey on me now. This was maybe a bad idea. No, this is good that you didn't shower before this happened. Yeah, that makes sense. Because now you can just get shit all over you. Spray and shit and puke everywhere. So my trainer, before you got here,

I was talking about how my... Sorry, but please... Spray shit? Gamers went to a place. Spray shit and puke everywhere. My trainer said that he was way more upset about... So this should make us all feel good about me doing the soda...

Fuck, the soda drinking than the nuggets. Wait, really? Yeah, he was like, it's fried. It's not great, but this whole soda thing is not as good. Liquid calories. That's a big dumb bell. I love that you told your trainer about it. Like, what are you going to train harder tomorrow? On Saturday, can we train at two in the afternoon?

Because I'm going to be nugget hungover. I'm going to have a nug over. All right, any other beer, please? I think this is the time to tell you guys that I really like eating challenges and I'm willing to ruin my weekend in the name of eating 60 nuggets. Gamers, you and I have stayed on track.

We're doing well. Nick and Nicole, you have skipped some. I haven't skipped any. I mean, I skipped some nuggets, but I've been sipping beers. I've consumed something for every minute. How many have I eaten? One, two, three, four, five, six.

So I ate one from that one, so I've only eaten 15 nuggets and tapped out. That's 20. 15 nuggets is a lot of nuggets. Yeah, this is like a large serving is 10, and so you've had that plus 50%. I've had 20 nuggets,

and now I'm going to... I think through this 10, I'll be sticking with the beer. Boy, I am really feeling bad. Yeah, I don't feel good at all. I'm disoriented. I'm unsure what's going on. I'm honestly having trouble forming words.

I feel like I'm not being coherent right now. I haven't spoken for six minutes. I feel like I'm going to... My face is getting warm. I'm really hot. And I don't feel my dick anymore. You're just robbing.

You don't have a dick. Why are you like, where is my dick? Where is my dick? My favorite pixie stuff. I'm opening and closing my hands because I want to circulate. You've got too much salt in your system.

You should have to run a 5K at minute 30. Honestly, what a challenge. Let's fucking do it. Oh, man. Oh, boy. I don't know if it would hurt or help if I walked around the block. I feel like that would help. I feel like I'd just clear my head a little bit

and I'd get a little bit motion in my body. I don't think it would help me. I think I'd sit down on someone's stoop and they'd say, Black's outside! And then I'd get arrested. Well, yeah, but that's unrelated to the eating challenge. That's just the society we live in. Status in this world.

Just so you know, we're recording this in Quincy. God damn it. Oh, yes. I forgot about Long Island. The liberal... He's flexing his Long Island. Strong Island. He has a tattoo of Long Island on his bicep and he was just flexing it there cartoonishly.

He was flexing it like Soda Popinski and punch out. Yeah, I can do that with my tits, too. Oh, look at him titties jiggle. Oh, look at him titties jiggle. I wish I knew how to make a gif. I'd make a gif of that. I wish I had a gif maker.

Holy shit, guys. I'm not feeling great. I took a bite into a nugget. There was something harder in one nugget so I had to spit it into it now. Yeah, sometimes there's like a gristle or bone stuff. Right. Might just be an overly fried section.

Nope. You don't think so? It's some weird foreign matter. Let's see it. What, was it a piece of your dick? He doesn't want to know. He said it was a tiny what? Legoman arm. It would explain a lot.

Here's what I'll say between the four of us and the four of us. We're going to have two nuggets at this point and for only one of those to be tainted, that's a pretty good ratio. So good job, McDonald's Corporation. 2% of your food is inedible. Wait, Wager, hold on.

What were these numbers? I've almost had 30. You've almost had 30. I've had 20. I've had 15. We've almost had 100 nuggets. Yeah, we were like 75 nuggets. So that's even better. Try flex my Quincy Tattoo

and I can droop down. Do you have a Quincy Tattoo? I wanted Jersey Tattoo, but that's the mark of a trash person. I can't do it. No, yours doesn't. I would never look at that and be like Long Island. When you look at an outline of Jersey,

you're like, ugh, that's Jersey. Let me see it. Yeah, I guess it doesn't. I guess you don't know what that is. You're just like, I don't know, a child scribbled on him. It looks like it might be like a chicken tender honestly when you look at it. It's what I got now. I'm retrofitting it to be Long Island.

I was like, can I get a chicken? I wanted a chicken nugget to give me a tender. Where do you guys lie on tenders versus nuggets? I mean, I would rather have something with a bone in it than a tender. Same here. Between nugget and tender. Between nugget and tender specifically, I think I'd go nugget

because I feel like if it's going to be something a little more processed, I might as well just go all the way. Chicken tender, but it has to be battered and not breaded. Right. To the point where I go to restaurants and I show waitresses pictures of chicken tenders and go, which one do you have?

And they're all like, really? Why? It's because I'm a very specific fat lady. You want a little more texture and crunch with that bad boy. I know what you're talking about, where the skin's a little thicker. I like that more too. Like a dairy queen chicken tender. But I'll always choose bone in.

I don't like bone in at all. I'm okay with the wings, but I'd rather have bone in. I like bone in. Every time like I listen to an episode, I'm like vehemently disagreeing. I'm like opus, daying myself like whipping myself with a fucking barbed tooth or something.

You know all my Quincy friends and I wonder if you feel the same way. They say every time they listen to the podcast, they say that they want to tell me to shut off and they want to tell me like they're like, you're getting everything wrong all the time. See, that's why I don't listen to podcasts because I can voice my opinion, but nobody hears me.

It's problematic that I listen to this podcast and then insist on talking to you about it in real life. That's like so sad of me. That's like if I ran into Steve Carell and I was like, so you were in Anchorman and I wanted to talk about this one part

and it's like just be cool. And you guys are my actual friends and I'm still like He compared you guys to Steve Carell. That's really nice. Doe Boys is on the level of Anchorman. That's so nice. I've listened to I've listened to 150 hours

of you guys. Jesus Christ. Gamers, what are you doing? You have 100 episodes and they're an hour and a half each. And then we're like, Gamers, come on. You're like, fuck you too. We're at the halfway point. That last thing was signified 30 minutes. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Doe Boys,

more of this nugget power hour right after this. Hey Doe Boys. Hey Nick and Mitch. It's Eva. I'm so proud of you guys for hitting 100 episodes. I'm so lucky that I got to be there for your first one. Congratulations. Love you guys.

Mitch is a liar and a coward. Hey guys, Neil Campbell here. Congrats on 100 episodes. I've been a big fan since the beginning and I'm really excited to see Stewie kill Lois in the 100th episode.

Congrats again and keep up the great work. Hey, Nick and Mitch. It's Sean from Hollywood Handbook. Just really felt the need to reach out and say congrats on having like half as many episodes as we do

and somehow getting John Gabriel to be a guest on your show. That's crazy. Still trying to wrap my head around it. So good job. Doe Boys hit 100 100

Doe Boys. Jess McKenna here, proud member of Burger Brigadeans Foundation. Wishing you a happy 100 and hoping for 100 more, baby. Congrats on the 100th episode, Doe Boys. It's Spencer from Harmon Town. You're going to love the 100th episode.

On our 100th episode, we definitely didn't ask our past guests to blow smoke up our ass. Just blow. I like to put it right in their property hole. Hey, Doe Boys. Congratulations on 100 Great Pounds that Mitch has gained on this show. Keep it up.

See you in the next 100. Hi, Nick. Hi, Mitch. It's Paul Rust. Congratulations on your 100th episode of Doe Boys. Doe Boys. Doe Boys. Doe Boys.

Doe Boys. Hey, Nangang. This is Christine Nangle, and I am so sorry to hear about the cancellation of the Doe Boys podcast after that double heart attack during their 100th episode, but just a tragic reminder, we all need to listen to our doctors. Thank you.

Hey, it's Paul Shearer. Congratulations to the Doe Boys. One of my favorite podcasts. You guys are amazing. You really are the Brian and Stewie Griffith of the podcast world. But just because you're at 100 episodes doesn't mean you can get cocky, no.

So I want to read you a one star review. Actually, one of your only one star reviews from iTunes, and it goes like this. I just unsubscribed. I used to listen to this podcast for last and food reviews. I don't want to listen to politics. So guys, let that be a note.

No more politics unless it's the politics of fast food. Nailed it. Thanks so much, guys. You can check me out on IMDB. I just type in Paul Shearer and you can see all the different credits and just, you know, hit me up there, you know, give me a bump

on that star meter. Guys, congratulations. Bye-bye. Hey, Nick and Mitch. This is Joe Saunders, the host of Afterdote Joe, the Doe Boys Aftershow. I just want to say congrats on 100 episodes. That's such a great achievement and you guys deserve all your

credit and maybe you can have its own Patreon this time. Okay, bye. Hey, Mitch and Nick. It's me, The Noid. Congrats on 100 episodes. I hope you have at least three more. Congrats on 100 Doe Boys episodes.

I just want to say I didn't believe in you from the very beginning. Hey, The Doe Boys. This is Hayes Davenport. Congratulations on 100 episodes. I remember when we

did that, we didn't do this. We didn't ask people to record congratulations for us, but it's fun. It's a fun idea. It's fun for you guys. And

100 episodes, that's a lot of food, so enjoy talking about more food and have a good show about the food. Okay, bye. Welcome back to Doe Boys.

We're here with John Gabers, Nicole Byer. Halfway through the nugget power, we're all feeling like shit. We stepped outside for a second during the break. Just because we all are now allergic to cats, so we have to gather just for a second. Where Gabers is using performance enhancements, he smoked

another half of his gigantic Paul Bunyan joint. Shout out to Emeril Triangle, Hash & Fuse, Sadeva joints, excellent work, guys. By the way, the stoner Paul Bunyan you keep bringing up is like the hackiest 90s evening at the improv standup

bit. Yeah, we hate you, bitch. Yeah, what the fuck? We hate you, Paul Bunyan, bitch. I'm usually the first one to dump Bunyan Mitch, and I didn't say anything, only because I found it such a compliment. It wasn't supposed to be funny. It was literal.

I wasn't making fun of what you were saying, and it's time to eat another nugget. I wasn't making fun of what you were saying, but I was saying that's the kind of thing that you'd see as a hack premise in someone's act. Nothing against you, Mitch. I'm Robin Williams at a hold up. Whose line in this anyway would be up? What Nick is trying to say

is you're a bad comedian. I know that. I would never say that. Dude, my ox looks blue. You fuckers. 35 years old. Holy shit, the Habanero Ranch is Fuego.

I wish McDonald's would release a commercial of you eating it and going Fuego, or Fuego. I said Fuego. Fuego means play, so it's close. Oh, cool. Hey, look at this. What are you, fluent in Spanish? Is this so you can bully people who speak different languages?

So I know what all the fucking guys are saying about me and my childhood growing up. We lived in a super Latino town growing up and I got into learning, trying to learn Spanish. Oh! Super Latino town.

Coming to adult swim. I thought Long Island was just a bunch of white people. Or is that Staten Island? This is not really Staten Island either. Isn't Wu Tang from Staten Island? The Wu Tang clan? Wu Tang is from Quincy.

Oh, your buddy Adam Wu who has the nickname of Wu Tang. I love Adam Wu, a great guy. This is the only context in which your friend from high school comes before one of the greatest hip-hop groups of all time. It's on Doughboy. He's like, Wu Tang,

like the band? No, like the guy I went to high school with. He can do a backflip. I was just about to say, he can do a backflip. Yeah, I know. He knows everything about you and your friends. As he got older, time slowed him down a little bit.

He would still do them, but they were dangerously close to the... I just had two wings. I think I had two nuggets while you were talking. Two nuggets? Jesus! I was like, oh, my mouth is fresh. You know what? What I loved about Wu Tang is he's a great dude. I got to know him just a little bit

via Facebook and when we had that show at San Francisco sketch fest he flew out for. He's got a legit job. He manages his family's restaurant. He owns his family's restaurant, right, Mitch? Yep. I did a thing when we did that live show

at the Eureka Theater where I contacted a bunch of your old Quincy friends who you're always shouting out, all of them with their different various nicknames like Changton and Frailbott and... Mikeus and Cumsten and whatever. There is no Cumsten. I thought you said Cumsten and I was like, who is that?

I am the one who's known as Cumsten. I am the one who's known as Cumsten. You merely adopted it. I was born in it. I was born in a Cumsten. Pretty meta. And with all those guys as the bell's about to sting you.

You were recharged when you're like, we'll have a joint. You're a new person. It just stained again. But the thing that I'm having to sip a brew dog right now as I say this, but... The thing with all your Quincy buddies is so many of them, like it was clear that among them, everyone had

gotten like a stable job and like had settled down and like had a family and like all these guys I thought of as like your fuck up buddies all like had their shit together and we're all like, hey Mitch, how's it going? Remember when you were three hours late to junior prom? Anyway, get help buddy, everyone's worried about you.

It's true. Get help buddy. Yeah, I mean those guys had to do one group project with you in high school. They were like, look, I love this dude, but he is legitimate dead weight. How is your dick doing Mitch? My dick is alright.

We all, we should say we all took a look at Mitch's dick at half time. And it's a strange color. I know that it's small. Listen, look, no one said that. I am slowing down big time. Mother dang. Oh my god, yes.

I'm only staying in this because I want to, I want to keep going with Gabriel's. You guys are champions. You're really going for it. This is, this is, I don't, I don't think I'm going to make it. I don't think I'm going to, I think I'm going to tap out. Gabriel's this is fucking hard. I think I'm going to die. I feel the same way.

This is almost 40. 34. We've got 24, 24 minutes and 33 seconds left as I'm saying that just now. 35. That's a lot. I'm so proud of myself. I don't know.

My dad was alive. Cheers. Oh wait, we all have dead dads. No, my parents are alive. Sorry about it. They will die. Take him out, dude. Take him out and join the club.

Take out my own dad. If you want to get a random cheers during fun. Another ding. Fuck. You know what? We're, we're 23 minutes and 56 seconds in or 23 minutes and 54 seconds now left on the timer and our buddy friend of the podcast,

Evan Susser surprises us with the visit. Susser's here, the commissioner of the tournament champions. How you doing, Suss? Hey guys, how's everybody doing? We're not doing well, Susser. Yeah. Yeah, we're all doing very well. Well, I just wanted to stop by

on this the hundredth episode of Doe Boys. This is adorable. I brought a gift for you guys. Oh, that's fun. That I thought you guys would appreciate and enjoy now. That was a garbage bag for me to fucking throw up into. I'm going to throw up soon. It's from Burger King

at some of their classic chicken fries. Oh. Aw. It would really mean a lot to me, Mitch, if you'd have one. Gabers, have a chicken fry, you fuck. I gotta try a chicken fry. I never had a chicken fry.

Does it count as one or no? Unfortunately, no. Susser is the commissioner. His ruling will stand that does not count as a chicken nugget. I'll take one of those. It's jalapeno, I think. We've got to have a nugget now. I find the chicken fry to be so

insanely processed. Because I know the nugget is processed, but when it's in fry form, it's just like it disturbs me how foreign from meat it is. Same with popcorn chicken and popcorn shrimp. It upsets me. I don't eat that shit. Hey, Wiger, you better be drinking your beer.

He's not. I've been sipping this brew dog. I've been drinking my beer. Hold on. Don't reverse narc on me. No. I believe Nicole. I've been drinking this brew dog.

How many beers have you drank total? Not even one. That's fucking pathetic. I'm about to finish my second one. Do you think God is going to send our dead dads to hell because of what we're doing? No!

I was honestly wondering the same thing. That's weird that you just said that because I was literally just about to ask that same exact question. I think our dead dads are hanging out together being like, our children are joining us soon. Yeah, I think they're like, told you it's not going to be long.

They're making bets on us. I think I am officially almost going to tap out on nuggets. Swish to brew dog. Have I had some rounds of beer? I want to make it to 40. If we were to join our dead dads... You mean 40 years old. I think...

Judd Apatow made a movie about eating the 40th nugget. I can't do this anymore. I think the order of deaths would definitely be Mitch. Has it been covered that multiple people have died in eating contests in the past few weeks? We have not covered that.

Wait, in the past few weeks? Yeah, there was a pancake eating contest. Oh, I do remember that one. That's a pussy one. How do you die eating pancakes? Were you just scatting? It literally sounded like your burp went, skeetabop. I'm sorry, that came out of nowhere from drinking the beer,

but I did realize that Susser was danger close and I turned and blew it away from the mic at Susser. I was talking about hell and it seems that we are in a row. I need another beer. Yeah, Mitch tells me another brew dog. Since you called me out, I chugged the remainder of my can.

And I was taking a sip every minute religiously, but I guess I will take bigger sips to satisfy you. I shouldn't have made a joke about our dads going to hell. I felt immediately upset about it. I'm sorry. You're the only one who actually believes in hell at this point. Mitch, you believe in hell?

We've been through adult situations. What the fuck? There is no devil who to be afraid of. There is a devil. Nick, I'm sorry I tattled on you. That's okay. I feel remorse and sadness. No, you shouldn't feel any of that.

I'm just glad you're here with us. I'm glad your parents are here with us. This is the 40th nugget. A real milestone. You're really working to get that thing done. Your chewing looks very labored. His chewing looks labored. His hat's about to fall off.

I'm in bad shape. It's only two more 10 packs. That's a lot. This is a lot like running a marathon. I would assume. Mitch, are you going to puke? I won't puke. You look like you're going to puke.

All I can taste is the nugget oil. I'm trying here. Nugget oil. I've got to get 20 more of these things down because I'm doing it. I'm so proud of you. This is one of the five things in life I'm good at.

Truly, I'm so proud. I was like, I will get midway through this. I tapped out so early. I really thought I'd hit 30 easily. I always wondered if I could eat 50 nuggets to the dome. Now I'm about to find out if I can. You're saying to the dome

is a thing I first heard from you when we had you on for our fourth episode. Outback Steakhouse episode. You talked about taking it in a whole Ossie cheese fries to the dome. I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever heard. I've tried to appropriate it so many times and I sound so lame saying it.

I heard him on Snacker Whack. And then you annotated it like me. It's like anyone who's actually cool knows that I've been doing it 10 years after it was. Yeah, that's just what we used to say to the dome all the time. I don't know what you're saying though, is it?

East Coast thing? I don't remember hearing it out here. Because you'd like take a blunt to the dome. Oh, wow. Of course, you're getting off the dome. It's freestyling. All it needs is more Scotch tape. Mitch, are you okay?

You're looking at having a meltdown. Should we look at each other's penises just to make sure? Honestly, I would love nothing more. We just missed the place. That's another ding right there. 50. Almost, all right. We could do 50.

Seriously, don't force it. I'm not going to die, Wiger. I would be so sad if you passed away eating chicken nuggets. Yeah, if you were to die, I'd much rather be distant from it in some way. I'd like to hear about it

as opposed to watching it. Chicken nuggets are so cold. They're actually a little easier to eat. Do you want me to see if the nuggets left in the Rachel Ray bag are hot? Please God. Mitch, you look like you're legitimately getting worried. There's way more nuggets.

These are kind of toasting. I'll switch to those as well. So I had one from this pack, right? Is that right? What number is this? We're coming up on 17 minutes. 17 minutes remaining.

17 nuggets left, right? Oh, that makes sense. Okay. Yeah, 16. Oh, my God. Are those warmer? Do you want to stand up? I'm just wondering if anything.

This is the nicest you've ever been to me. No, you look like you're falling apart. I think it's the last day we're hanging out. Wiger's like, fuck it, I'll just be nice. The last thing I want to do is play audio from his last episode and it's like I'm addicted. Honestly, and then put out the soda one the next week.

If the three of us died eating chicken nuggets, nobody would be surprised. If you died eating chicken nuggets, Nick, people would be like, really? He's so reasonable. He didn't blow his head off. I always thought that guy was going to go off in some sort of autoerotic asphyxiation sort of situation.

You're saying his wife came home with chicken nuggets and found him hanging in the closet. No, he died eating chicken nuggets. It wasn't in Del Taco bathroom where he overdosed on his salsa verde. Fuck. Susser, did you have anything else you wanted to add at this point?

You've been an integral part of this podcast through 100 episodes. We couldn't have done it without you. No, I think this is a great celebration. I don't have too much to add. I am curious when I arrived, Mitch said that he had an observation about the smell in his apartment.

But then he stopped himself and said, I'll save it for when we're on the air. So I would like to hear what the observation of the smell here is. Spoken like a chicken. It smells bad. Fire. Also, I do have a question.

There is a lone sock with marijuana leaves just on the floor here. What's the situation with that, Mitch? Wally and Arba pulled the socks out of my sock drawer and they delivered to me like like birds. They give it to me like a gift. Like they stole it, they killed it,

and they're like, let's share it. It's really cute. I'm gonna throw up. Can you leave the table and not just puke on the table? Mitch, we've got 15 minutes left. You'll have hit 45 nuggets. I think this is a great noble place to tap out.

If you want to just... That's 46, I think. You've done a great number. Don't even feel obligated to switch to beer. You can just write it out from here on out. He's straight calling you a bitch. I'm not doing that. I know it's 2017

and the bitch is back or whatever, but you're being a real bitch. And that's what Nick is saying. Nick is giving you an out. Gabriel is egging you on. What's just gonna happen? When Nick is flat out calling you a bitch. I bow to you. You're the king.

I'm moving to beer. I don't want to do this alone. I don't want to be the only one that made this terrible decision. Hey, Susser, do you want to do a leg? Here, I'll get back in. Back out of nuggets. No, you know what? No. What an awful thought.

I had about a dozen chicken fries on the ride over. I would love to participate, but I'm currently in observance of the Jewish holiday of Passover. Oh, okay. So I could do some gross thing where I peel the breading off the nuggets, if that would satisfy you. When I was on Akins, I would do that. That does seem wasteful, so unfortunately I can't...

I think we have like a hundred... Would you like that? Get away from me. How would you peel the nugget? With your fingies or your teeth? I don't really know. See, I'll give you... Okay, so here's how you peel the breading off.

You rip the top off with your fingies, and then you shove it through, and your teeth take the rest off. Then you pull it out and pull off the side. Like a baby bell cheese? I had no idea that you said fingies until this day. Fingies! Holy shit, my mouth is sweating.

I think I'm using a good strategy of mixing up dips. Yeah, it's very helpful. The texture of the nuggets just becomes awful. It doesn't taste like food anymore. No. It feels like I'm pressing a napkin into my mouth, and then swallowing.

I'm not really chewing them in there. I'm so disappointed in myself. It's so close, I feel like failure. Mitch, you shouldn't be disappointed in yourself. You made it to 45. We're supposed to eat 60? That's great. Shove five more in your mouth,

take a little break. That would make me puke. Guaranteed. It would be like eating a sponge. It was tasting like sponges. Imagine eating chicken nuggets that were the size of an apple. Bite the side of it.

I want to also say that... That's how I eat onions. Just sitting on my couch. I got my second grizzle piece. Right on my 45th piece. Nugget oil, grizzle piece. This guy's got a longer list of excuses. Is what Weiger has been saying.

If I could just interject again, Mitch. You said that you feel like a failure, and I just want to assure you that not being able to eat 60 nuggets has nothing to do with you being a failure. Jesus. I'm literally in awe of you right now, Gabriel.

It's amazing. Because when that bell hit, you went, ooh, and then went for another one. You have a smile on your face. Such joy. He's got a smile, his cheeks are rosy. This is the day I've been training for my whole life. His long eyelids have to be bleeding.

Roast culture is alive. Roast culture is alive. Wait, I have to wait. Okay. I feel very sick. Is this the worst you felt this year? You've had some big drinking days. I don't want to hear the answer to that question.

You feel pretty bad every day. You wouldn't even mean big drinking days. Well, like St. Patrick's Day, I remember you were very hungover the day after. You've had a few times where you've had a little too much, but just by having 45 nuggets in one sitting, I mean, how does your body hold them up at this point?

Nugget number 50. Commemorative number 50. Doing honey buffalo for number 50. I want to get to 50. I'm going to do five more before this is all said and done. I have 10 minutes to do five. I feel like a lot of this is coming from a New York Boston inferiority complex.

He's going to eat 60. He's a fucking machine. He's no man. He's a machine. I think that compounds how upset you are. I think if this was against, I think if I was doing this, I think you'd be as upset. I would be making fun of you for dropping out, which I wish I had back to make me look a little bit better.

Wait, how many more minutes do we have? So we've got 10 minutes and 20 seconds of the clock right now. We're also drinking Miller High Life, which also, I don't know if that helps. The Champagne of Beers. It certainly doesn't help. I think it actually does help. You think so? It's helping me.

Because every time I take a sip of beer, I'm like, ooh, I want food. There you go. It's my binary choice, Nuggets and beer. Oh shit, I almost just threw up on that clock. Like at the doctor when he tells you to cough and you throw up on his head. Tell me, is my dick okay?

I ate 60 nuggets yesterday. I am worried about your penis. Oh, that is a particularly rubbery chicken nugget. Yes, they're getting rubbery. Yeah. Well, yeah, because they're just getting colder. I had a caribou. Mitch, your hand was like shaking. Stay alive, dude. It's all that matters. Not in the contest, I mean.

It seems like you're talking down to me. I'm just saying. No, Mitch, if you don't need me more, can you get me another beer? I'm not saying that online to be on the podcast to be a badass, but I'm thirsty. These things are fucking salty. He's got a big glass of water in front of him

and he don't want that. He wants more beer. Do you ever possibly drink the most beer of anyone, too, on top of this? It's possible. No, this is my third. It's supposed to be a binary choice, but I also don't want to do 60 nuggets. Right. You know what? I take it back. I think if my dad was watching down on me today,

he'd be proud that I ate 45 nuggets, 45 and a half nuggets. It's a great number. I don't want to get too real, but if it's true, my dad somehow missed this. Did I miss it? He comes. He comes just like when Susser pulled up and he said, did I miss it?

And you said that he looked like a parent late for his little league game. I wonder where that came from. I don't have dad issues. Nicole's dad and my dad are watching. Your dad is absent. My dad's very upset. If it's anything like my childhood,

my dad's either at work or at a bar. My dad is there and he saw me fail once again. Once again. Just like every other fucking baseball and basketball game I went to. This is getting dark. Let's see. My dad, he'd be riding his bicycle

and being like, exercise with me and I'd be like, nah, I'm eating food. Was he a big bike rider? Yeah, my dad was like super fit and like didn't understand the cameras. I just collapsed and almost fell out of his chair. The verb almost knocked you out of your chair. Eight minutes left.

Honestly, these dings are coming faster and faster. It really is crazy. It's maddening. My dad, George Weiger, a chemistry professor. That doesn't surprise me. That's why I laugh. What's George doing?

What is your mom doing? My mom was a nurse. Your dad rides Harley's? No, my dad doesn't ride Harley's. Weird. He was an avid bicycle rider. Very a cyclist. Solving century, 100 mile bike race a few times.

I love solving. Lovely town. Did he ride racing bikes? He was. He was a racing bikes guy. Not much of a purist. He could flip your fucking feet in there. Oh yeah, he 100% did those clippy pedals. My dad, and it was like very confusing for me.

Those shoes are tough to get used to. Then you have to walk around. I always hated like in Brooklyn, guys would be like walking into the coffee shop like tap, tap, tap, white shorts. And I'm hungover as fuck just trying to get a croissant and iced coffee. And I got to look at these two old fucking...

What's it called when it's an end of life crisis? Before death crisis. Can I have another beer, please? Of course. I have to say, oh, a napkin stuck to my elbow. It looks like I only have six wings. Six nuggets left. Well, that about works out because there's six minutes

and 36 seconds left as of right now. You did it. You fucking... I think you're going to do it. Wait, did I do the power hour right? How many beers should I have had? You're close. You're doing great. Why did you not do that well? I don't understand because I thought it was one sip per minute.

It's like a shot. What type of sip? Were you licking? He was using an eye dropper. I'm taking a real sip. I was taking a legit sip. I was taking an adult man size sip. But he also ate nuggets.

He ate more nuggets than me. I tapped out so early. It's embarrassing. You're nice to wag your mean to me, Gabriel. You think I'm not drinking enough beer? What do you think of this? Oh, shit! Oh, dang! He took two big sips! He's on his third big sip!

And he's about to spit it out! He took three big sips. The can still looks heavy. And then he covered his mouth with a napkin. He clutched his pearls. Is that an East Coast saying? Is that an East Coast saying? I think it's like a...

Because I've said it before and people were like, what? What do you mean? Like an old lady. Oh, my eyes are watering. I wish we had a video of this. I wish we were just drinking. Because I would be doing better and feeling better. Instead, I'm on beer number three or four. And nugget number 45.

You're almost done. I'm very, very impressed. I tip the cap to you. I couldn't get 50. I feel pathetic. Five minutes left. We're almost home. Gabriel, let's take it home. I can't.

You're this fucking far now. What are you dipping at this point, Gabriel? Honey. Maybe honey was the key. It might be. You're going to shit so much. I mean, it has to come out eventually. My bathroom is open to you if you have to shit.

But maybe you gain the weight back and then immediately lose it because you're going to take a big old dump. Oh, yeah. This has no actual consequences. Gabriel, you're going to see the fate of the furious. I'm very excited. Are you going to get any movie snacks?

Honestly, I was just wondering the same thing. I guarantee you. I need something. I was wondering if I'll eat again today. Right. Has sanitation ever come to a house and told them that they can't shit in the toilet anymore? I feel like that might happen.

Excuse me, sir, your shits are too nasty. You can't shit in this toilet. You come up at a neighborhood council meeting. I feel like he's using up all the plumbing space. Four minutes left. Mitch, I finished that beer. Pass me another brew dog for the homestretch. Oh, hell yeah.

Dude, get... Here, Nick say brew dog is like here in Dan Castellanet is a doll. Thanks, Nicole. You're welcome. All the times you kiss his fucking ass, that's the worst time. What are you guys having a side computer convo over there?

I got a new MacBook. It's really nice. It's like matte, I like it. It doesn't have the little special glow-up bar, whatever that special bar is. That's the physical one. And yeah, I like it quite a bit. I was going to say that when I walked in here,

didn't it smell like a car? You know when someone goes to McDonald's and that car smells like? Yeah, like old McDonald's. The entire house smells like. Your house is going to smell like that for a while. Get ready to wake up and smell some greasy nugget. And again, I feel like I'm piling on, but it is a wild improvement.

What the fuck? I got roasted on the 100th episode. I just got roasted. You knew what you were getting when you invited me. I love you. How about that? Thank you, Nicole. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. You're welcome. Who are you fucking right now?

I usually always ask you that right at the top. No fucking. I only come home and take care of Wally and Irma and I like that just enough. Wally and Irma are your balls. It's an upsetting sentence I've ever heard. No, it's cute. But you need to dip your dick in someone. Have you seen my baseball?

Have you seen my baseball? I now have figured out that gamers would have bullied me. It's what the most fucked up kids do, is you bully it so no one realizes what's wrong with you. I mean, he's bullying you now. Yeah, good point.

I wasn't a bully. I'm only a bully to people I like. Oh, really? I guess I'm also really mean to some people I did. Abrus is really nice to me, so I'm confused. Abrus, you got one nugget left after this. Holy shit. I'm amazed that you're actually going to do it.

It's so upsetting. Abrus, I saw you. I did see you have a little moment there where it looked like it was tough. He almost fell out of his chair. I put my head on the microphone in like a moment of solace. So the next one is your 50th

or 60th one? Alright, I'm going to take a picture of it. It's going to be good. Are you a puker? No, you don't? You can just keep it down? I almost never... I never puke.

I just have to lay down. I straight up got permission from Mitch at halftime because I'm like, I'm really going for 60. Can I hang out here for like a half hour? I was like, maybe play some switch? He's like, sure. You mean what I was going to do,

no matter what, lay on the couch and turn on that AC. And maybe secretly more nuggets. I'm going to miss the movie. The 60th one. Holy shit, John Gabrus. I'm going to do a little honey. I'm going to do a little bit of every dip

in honor of my last nugget. That's hubris, you piece of shit. It's going to be funny and stupid. Nuggets. My 60th chicken nuggets. This is to our dead dads. To our dead dads. I can't even...

You saved them from a fiery fate. Thank you, Gabrus. The first time I met Gabrus, you were talking about how you were in the dead stack club with you and Justin Tyler, another great funny man. And you said, I couldn't come and join and talk to you guys because my dad was alive at the time. And then you fixed that.

Are you saying I jinxed him? He sure you did. Gabrus, holy shit. You talk about that you can eat. 45 nuggets. I'm going to tell people that. I felt like when I did SoulCycle for the first time and I was going to puke

for like an hour. You did SoulCycle? I did SoulCycle. It sucked. It is adorable. It is very adorable. I'd pay to watch you do SoulCycle. And I felt that same way where I was like, I'm going to throw up.

Do you have a CPAP machine here? Gabrus is not going to strap into CPAP machines. We're the only guys who wear them while we're away. Last air conditioner. Get it down to about 58 degrees in here. Put on CPAP machines and order food. Gabrus.

Do you think you're going to eat again today? I think so. The first annual chicken nugget power hour is done. Has come to an end. Congratulations. Guys, we all did it. Yeah.

That's nice. That's great. A little victory fanfare from Final Fantasy 7. But I think it's good. I could tell my psychiatrist that my anti-binging medication works. Because usually I can literally eat for days. There was a lot of restraint right there.

It was. Which one do you have to say to your psychiatrist? I'm sorry. I'm deflecting because I'm in like a severe sodium shutdown. My psychiatrist. Well, I mean, I don't have one, which is the first issue.

Two, if he heard this, he'd be like, why are you only hanging out with your cats? Why are there no girls? Why can't it be a woman? Why'd you bring your dad up so many times? Are there any questions I don't have? Are you going to eat more? If you eat 61, eat it.

Go ahead, you piece of shit. Wait, that's how many. I dare you to eat 10 more. Just do it. Eat one more. Eat one more. Come on, just one more. It's like Michael J. Fox.

Don't be a chicken. Have one more. That's funny. I'm really upset. I'm really upset that he ate it. 61 Nuggets is funny. That's funny. That's just in case I missed one.

You didn't. I'm sure you did 62. You got Roger Maris' home run record right there. 61. That's a good number. Just sit there. No one needs to be Mark McGuire or Barry Bonds right now. We'll leave it at 61 for a while. I am on the juice, though.

Isn't it correct? I don't know if you've ever been on it. If you watch Rookie of the Year, Barry Bonds is in it as himself. His head is one-third the size it was by the time he was really cruising career-wise. I never took steroids.

I'm a huge pussy. Have you ever seen that meme of Peyton Manning's forehead over the course of all the seasons? Look at his Rookie season five years in and ten years in. Does it get bigger? His head gets bigger. God knows what he's doing.

He's probably juice. That's my assumption. What's his name? Papa John. Papa John's a bad man. Papa John's a bad man. The Pizza Man! Your team beat us twice.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know about sports. All I know is Serena Williams does tennis. Can I have one of those? This is honestly my favorite to watch a man on a binge like a true blue bin. I used to be Nicole's favorite.

Now you've eaten your way in Nicole's heart. No! Mitch, you are my favorite. Nicole, can I eat my way into your heart? Yeah. Oh, yeah. When I first started doing improv, you were my improv crush.

I was like, Gabriel's is so hot. Then I saw Tiffany. No chance for anybody. She's so pretty. It's not fair. When did you guys first start dating? Junior year of college. Holy shit, you guys have been together

for so long. 14 years? How did you deal with girlfriends before that? Were you a ladies man? I was fine. I was like a monogamy dude. I wouldn't hook up, but I would get girlfriends.

You're a charming man. I'm gonna say this. I told you this before. You're the type of big guy I always wish I had around who was fun. I always feel like the pathetic, sniveling big guy. I'm scared.

You're literally the only of this archetype, though. Not a fat, funny comedy guy. You're a fat, sad, funny comedy guy. Right. You're not in Chris Farley. You're not like... There's something about you where you're not like...

The rest of us are the guy who... Overcompensating. We're all so funny. Pay attention to my personality and how much I talk. Not my looks. You're the kind of guy and you're very charismatic. Everyone loves you. You're very lovable.

I think a big part of why this podcast works at all is because people just are gravitated towards you naturally. But you're not the kind of... The typical big guy is thought of as the party animal. The guy who's wearing the Hawaiian shirt at the party. And you're the kind of guy who's

not at the party. You're at TGI Fridays and you're saying, we never got our calamari. Excuse me. I'm at the party. I'm just outside. I'm drinking outside the party, looking in the window

and it looks fun in there. I do like... You would have been a fun guy and you are a fun guy to have around. Yeah, but I wish I was around when we were 25. It would have been helpful for me. Nicole, you're one of the funniest people on earth. One of the funniest.

What else can I say? You're one of the best and funniest people on IMPRODUTION together. It was very great to share the 100th episode with you guys. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to do it. I'm so pumped that we did it. I'm gonna have to get that on the air.

I'm so guilty about it. I don't believe in any of that shit. You guys don't believe in the devil? And if we're getting really into it, I'm not positive I care where my dad is. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. For some reason, my mom or brothers listen to this.

Guys, uh... This whole thing. By the way, while you were being nice... Hold on a second. We could do a snag where I... Nick, I was saying while you were complimenting me, the recording stopped. That was fucking perfect.

I picked that up. I was mid-sentence saying something nice about you, which is something that rarely happens on this podcast. And Dustin interrupted us because the battery on his recording device had ceased. Which is like a sign, basically, that we were breaking the universe's rules.

I truly think your dead father was like, we're getting a little too bad. We'll see who's in hell now, son. Pull the plug. Literally, there is a chance I do pass away tonight. I hope not. We can all die tonight.

If any of us die, I hope you sue McDonald's. I hope you make some money off it. What are we gonna sue? What are the grounds we have to sue McDonald's, Mitch? McDonald's decided to do this. You sell 20 pieces, so we got three of them. They ate them and died. You're at fault.

You know what's interesting? These all came in 10 pieces and not 20 pieces. Do they not do 20? They do do 20. They do 20 pieces. I don't know if they're just curious. I don't know if they know how to prepare for a situation. Also, their packaging has changed since I last went. Last time I went, it was like white packaging. Right. They've got this thing,

this cardboard brown color that I think seems more. They're moving away from white in Hollywood. So it's like, we sell the black people. It's diversity. This is almost over. You gotta get your diversity. Did you know I'm just saying I missed out on white privilege.

No, truly. Did you know that McDonald's has a full website devoted to black people called McDonald's 360? So 365 days. Oh, wait, three. Like a 360 degrees. Yes. Degrees. So I guess it's a full circle of black and like they're

they're like web page is just like Marlin. They're getting out of dream and we're selling the dream and it's nugget. I swear to God. It's funny when you it's funny when you see the market like when you're watching a certain channel and you see the marketing to black. Oh, yeah, it's all like yo, yo, yo, you want to nugget?

Or it's like or it swings the other way and it's like a proper bearded like older black gentleman is like son, we're both having burgers. There's no in between. Why people can't be normal. We're either real boozy or real hood. Why are you and I are watching this thinking about how much better

no boys would be with the two of you. Oh, yeah. Two actually funny people hosting this show podcast that we truly only just talked about how we were fat. Mitch did a fat episode. It's great. We did a Star Wars. You can't be in it. You're not fat.

You know what I used to be an old picture of you. I used to be chubby. I used to be tubby. I dropped away. I did. I had long hair. It looked like fuck. I used to be a fat fuck with long like stringy hair. It looked like shit. Now you're like an Aryan ideal. Yes.

I've got the all right hair cut. I'm pretty sure we can trace his bloodline back to those exact people. Okay. Mitch, you know, it's a story. The name's Estonian. It does. My family escaped

before the USSR. They escaped after they were rounding up Nazis. Mitch escaped with a bunch of Jewish art. I have like a little bit of German in my heritage, but it's Estonian. It's Norwegian. It's English.

It's Guatemalan. Oh, Guatemalan. He's got a little spice in it. Somebody's got a little coffee in his milk. All right. Can you imagine if you looked on if you... If you looked on Nick...

Nick Weiger Nick Weiger applying for a job and he's in... I'm Park Guatemalan. And they have you in there and you're like, Hello, I am Park Guatemalan. They wouldn't believe you. I don't do that. I'm trying to take advantage of affirmative action programs.

Hey, man, I'm like... I acknowledge that I'm a white man. I'm a Caucasian man. What? I'm a Caucasian man. Okay. All right. I'm a Caucasian man. What is Caucasian?

It's like the word instead of white. Yeah, basically. No, she's in the origin of like... There is no Caucasia. So where the fuck did that word come from? There's the Caucasus region. I don't know how you say it exactly. Oh, boy.

It's one of those words I've only read, so I don't know how to pronounce it. But yeah, there's like a part. Is it so weird? Because Caucasian is nowhere close to white or Irish or whatever. It's like calling black people like Flo Lupus. Flo Lupus on like the new Taco Bells. It's going to be this. Flo Lupa.

You have the Flo Lupa? It's a Flo Lupa that you put right above your foot. That's my pocket. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, boy. It's a Flo Lupa for your Flo Lupa. I know what I do hate.

Drunk with nuggets. I am truly sweaty. How are you feeling? I mean, you don't look as bad as Mitch, honestly. Mitch looks rougher than you. No shit. Mitch has recovered a little bit. You were looking wild.

I thought you were going to die, and I was very worried about it. It was not looking okay. 45 Nuggets. That's nothing to sneeze at. There's a lot of nuggets. At one point, I thought Weiger was looking pretty bad, and then he did Control Alt Delete. Close his eyes for a second.

Open his eyes back up. He's open how bright it was. Drain's all the batteries. Justin's like, no. I'm going to say, Gabriel, I already said great things about you, Nicole. Same thing, Nick. It's been a pleasure. I mean, I should get my own personalized things.

I said, you're one of the funniest people I know. We're on the Herald. Don't worry about it. Nicole, you and I worked on a failed Fox show together. We did. We were so unbelievable. I'm still on my DVR. While we're here, you should take the blame.

I take the full blame for party over here. Falling, failing. It's my fault. It's Fox's fault. It's my fault. You're going to blame the Lonely Island? 100% of the blame. I'll say it's 100% my fault.

Nicole, you're so effortlessly funny. It seems effortless. You're so effortlessly funny. It's incredible to be around you and watch you as a performer. So, so funny. You made that show so funny. That sounds like I'm mad at you.

You are nonstop today. You kids are out of control. I'm literally, like, buzzed as fuck. I am a little tipsy now. You said something earlier and you alluded to it about how as we were starting to do this eating contest, we were starting to do this nugget power hour,

you were like, maybe this is a bad idea and it made me realize as we were going that, like, this is kind of the perfect metaphor for our podcast where, like, we started something thinking it was going to be fun and then as it went, it gradually got off the rails to the point where we were

would rather die than continue doing it. That's true. And I guess we're going to keep it going at this point, but why not? Some costs follow the policy. People like Nicole. I was about to say people like of course you butt in, right?

People like Commissioner Susser. Susser, Jesus. Please see Fist Fight Susser. The commissioner has done so much work for the podcast. He's here with Chicken Fries. That's so much fucking labor. Noah and Fero in our producer Dustin

who's done so much. Dustin and Marshall couldn't do it without you. And Nick, it's been a lot of fun. Are you ending the podcast? This could be the end of it. Take that belt off your neck. I mean, we shouldn't do any more episodes. We shouldn't have done more than the pilot,

but we were 100 episodes in at this point. This literally sounds like a goodbye to your podcast. It's the 100th episode. I don't know how many more we'll do, but this was fun. When we make 200, we'll see. Yeah. No, we will not make 200. I'm not doing it for two more years.

It's not like you guys are going to get successful and have to do other things. No, that's not going to happen. Aren't you supposed to do just things for a couple years? A few years? We should already be done with this. Tell that to Dave Chappelle. I'm scared.

Because he came back to stand up? He famously abandoned his show like three seasons in. It's the thing he is famous for. We should go to South Africa. We should go to another country. Yes, go to Africa. Go back to Africa. It's not a good one to watch.

We should go to Estonia. We should go to Estonia. Go to Estonia, then Guatemala, hit up all of Nick's family. You guys should save up some money and go to Quincy and take him on a tour and review like five. Review a Dunkin Donuts, review a Boston Market.

Honestly, that's good. And then the episode just ends with me and my friends beating the fuck out of the fire. We jump them and record it. It's like, wait, what do you mean you left the fireplace on and all my children died? That's where you move to after that happens. That's not where it happens.

Yeah, it's even sad. If we recorded... I think it would be unpleasant to hear me and my Quincy friends beat you down because of all the giggling you'd be doing as we beat on you. You think I'd be into that shit? It could be getting hard

while your friends beat the shit out of me? Get Wu-Tang over here. Wu-Tang, kick me in the fucking teeth. You're so funny, Wu-Tang. Wu-Tang, you're my favorite. Kick me in the teeth. Do a backflip. Cheyton, stop on my throat. Is your friend Wu-Tang Asian?

I feel like he'd be Asian. Wu-Tang is Asian. I knew it. Does he? The Majestic Dragon. I love Chinese food. I only get chicken wings and french fries. This whole episode was branded content

for the Majestic Dragon in Quincy, Massachusetts. Not in Quincy. I think it's an Ipswich. Sorry, I don't know if it's not. Hey, it's me. I'm looking for a fucking Chinese food restaurant. I'll throw a brick through the window. I heard about it on a podcast.

If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast.gmail.com to get the Doughboys double a weekly bonus episode. Subscribe at patreon.com slash Doughboys. John Gabriel, Nicole Byer. Any plugs you guys want to throw out? Yeah, check out my podcast, High and Mighty.

There's a Weigar episode, a Mitch episode, and a Nicole episode. And he's wearing the tank. When he removed his shirt, it was a high and mighty tank. I wear a high and mighty undershirt every single day in just in case a grassroots marketing opportunity arises, like being on one of the most celebrated podcasts.

Can I just tell a quick Gabor Sinek note? I know we're done. I want to use... The batteries have died twice. I want to use CB. I went to UCB, I did monologues for Ascat, and I came in

and Gabriel was like, I look like Poochie, huh? And he was dressed exactly like Poochie from The Simpsons. Like no difference. Shiny sunglasses, the same fucking shorts and get up. And that's gay. That sums up Gabriel. He is like, he's a human Poochie.

I'm like a cartoon dog. He is like a cartoon dog. Nicole, you're not like a cartoon dog, but you're... I take it all back. I take it all back. Okay, you are a little bit like a cartoon dog. Two of the funniest people. Nick, it's about a good time doing 100 episodes.

Nicole, any plugs real quick? No, I feel like... Unemployed as fuck. Your Twitter, what about search history? Search history in LA at the Franklin Theater, 11 p.m. on Sundays. I'm going to be in Portland, Ohio, Ohio again.

You can go to my Tumblr page, nicolebuyer.tumblr.com, or whatever, for my dates. Whatever, man. Yeah, whatever. Can we please get away from this table? Yeah, we gotta wrap this shit up. Where is this table from? It's from the old house I used to live in.

I brought it over here, because no one wanted it. Yeah, it makes sense. It's a nice glass table. It's weird, but it's nice. There's little chunks taken out here and there. I didn't take the chunks out. I got a chunk. I got to take it out. We gotta wrap this up.

I did. I did the wrap up. All right. Hey, everybody. Let's open up the feedback. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. The 100th episode of Doe Boys. Until next time, for The Smooth Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. Yay!

100 Episodes. 100 Episodes. 10Previews... 10Previews... 10Previews. 10Previews... 10Previews. 10Previews.

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