Doughboys - Octdoughberblessed: Canter's Deli with Evan Susser and David Phillips

Episode Date: October 11, 2018

On the second week of Octdoughberblessed, the 'boys are joined by Evan Susser (Fist Fight, Sonic the Hedgehog) and David Phillips (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) to talk about their new podcast venture, their respective religious upbringings, and their visit to the longstanding LA Jewish restaurant: Canter's Deli. Plus, another edition of Hot or Not.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A reading from the Old Testament, New Revised Standard Version, Book of Leviticus, Chapter 11. The Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying to them, Speak to the people of Israel, saying, From among all the land animals, these are the creatures that you may eat. Any animal that has divided hoofs, and is cleft-footed and chews the cud, such you may eat. But among those that chew the cud or have divided hoofs, you shall not eat the following. The camel, for even though it chews the cud, it does not have divided hoofs.

It is unclean for you. The rock badger, for even though it chews the cud, it does not have divided hoofs. It is unclean for you.' The hare, for even though it chews the cud, it does not have divided hoofs. It is unclean for you. The pig, for even though it has divided hoofs, and is cleft-footed, it does not chew the cud. It is unclean for you.

Of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch. They are unclean for you. These you may eat, of all that are in the waters. Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the streams, such you may eat. But anything in the seas or the streams that does not have fins and scales, of the swarming creatures in the waters, and among all the other living creatures that are in the waters, they are detestable to you.

And detestable they shall remain. Of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall regard as detestable. Everything in the waters that does not have fins and scales is detestable to you. This week on Doughboys, we continue October Blessed, our month-long exploration of religious chain restaurants, and investigate the American tradition of the Jewish deli with an LA legend, Cantor's Deli. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, the cheesy gordita hunk, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell.

Okay, that's nice. I mean, also, that's not really nice. It's kind of one of your favorite Taco Bell menu items, and also calling you a hunk. It's combining your favorite restaurant with a physical hunk. Yeah. Like cheesy gordita crunch, but it's saying you're a hunk. That was courtesy of Jake Grownick, who included phonetic pronunciation of his name, but not emphasis.

You got to show, tell me what syllable to emphasize. It doesn't do any help. No, it doesn't seem fun to email you. Are you going to tell me how to say your name? I'm just going to take a swing, but if you don't give me any guidance, I don't know what I'm supposed to lean on. I'll take a swing, right at you. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We're starting off nice. Oh, wait. I forgot. It's supposed to be a month of tranquility. I thought it was October Blessed. I forgot. I forgot.

It's good. I love you. Here, Jake writes, between endless rewatches of the birthday boys, one of the funniest sketch shows ever, in my opinion, and hours and hours of Doughboys content to get me through my pizza delivery shifts. Well, thank you for your service, Jake. The Spoon Man has been there to provide so many laughs along the way. He has helped make the dull and painful parts of life more tolerable, and for that, I am

genuinely thankful. That's very nice. You know what, Nick? I'm going to take a swing at you, put my arm around your back, and pat you on the shoulder. Oh, that's very nice. And just in case anyone's confused about what's going on for October Blessed, which is the month we're currently in, instead of Rose Spoon Man, it's Holy Ghost Spoon Man. So send in your reverential tributes to Mitch to roastspoonman at gmail.com.

Mitch, you just recorded another podcast that was apparently a marathon, not a Doughboys related to some other show. I've come about two and a half hours, but hey, I'm the podcast king, baby. You characterize yourself as the podcast king? That's right. Not PFT. MIT. C-H-E-L-L.

Did you just struggle to spell your own last name? It was the struggle. Where was the struggle in that? It seemed like it took a second for you to conjure those letters in order. I was thinking of a joke, Nick. This podcast where we make jokes. Do you know, is this my mic that I'm turning up? I can't tell.

No? I'm on one now. Oh boy. Here we go. No, no, I'm not on one. I'm not. This is good content too. Yeah.

Are these jokes? What do you think jokes are? Nick, I attempt to do jokes. You know what? None of them are doing anything, so I'm just going to go with it. Nick. Howdy, how? Dispunation.

Or should I say, should it be a holy ho? How do I do for, what do I do for the... How about like a... Just sort of like a kind of a general sort of... Man, something like that. Yeah, something like that. I'll just do howdy ho. Here's a little drop, ready?

Backyard, where I am smoking a brisket and some ribs. Just like kind of like doughy meat, meat bombs or whatever. Right. Very high quality. Like chewing on these meats. Smoking these meats here. Or just a meaty meat, meat little meat, a little meat torpedo. Big, yeah, you just get a big meat log.

Exactly. Or meat smoking. Yeah, and it's great. I enjoy it and the quality of the meat and the bread. The bread is so very specific, but the quality of the meat stands out and it's great. It's good. Smoking meat, smoking these meats.

Smoking meats earlier in the day. It was our friend, Zuckerberg, wasn't it? Is that who that was? I think so. Mark Zuckerberg? It was a fine Jew. Oh boy. Wow.

Didn't mean to plan it that way, but a fine Jewish man. Meat boys, this is from Caleb Dempsen. I spent like four months planning this one and I finally sat down and cooked up this drop. I hope you enjoy four months. Caleb, what the fuck was going on? Isn't that like how long it took Mary Shelley to write Frankenstein? Also a great Jew, Frankenstein.

Frankenstein. Well, the doctor is Jewish. The doctor is Jewish. Our guests today are a TV writer from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and a screenwriter from this fight and Sonic the Hedgehog, David Phillips and Evan Susser. Guys, thanks for being here. Shalom.

Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Oh that's very nice. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom.

Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. That's very nice. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom.

Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. That's good. Shalom.

Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Shalom. Okay. Guys, I'm very excited to have you both here.

I just wanted to say that. Drop reminded me. Mm-hmm. In college, me and my, well I didn't do, I brought them to a frat at Cornell and they stole a meat log out of like the frets. You brought your friends

and they, they did. Yeah, that's great. And then we were going to cook the whole thing, like as a big roll. Uh-huh. Like, you know how, like, you know how it's like burger meat

that comes in like a big log, basically? Right. And I think they threw it on the grill, like, but I think it didn't really work out. Just like a, like one of those, those chubs you get it, like Costco or something,

like a big thing of ground beef. Exactly, yeah. They threw that on intact. Yeah. And on a grill, yeah, isn't that cool? I guess. Was there no,

You and I have a big difference of what we think is cool, not cool. I think stealing it from a frat is cool. Yeah. It was fun. It was like, it was an animal housey time in my life.

Wait a minute. What do you want? What's that? It's not a good time to bring up animals. All right. Fine. It was, Oh, all right.

Yeah. It was a Zoolander type time. There you go. Much better. Very good. Guys, glad you're both here.

I have questions for both of you. First off, Susser, can you confirm whether the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog movie includes a dramatic chase sequence where S.B.O. The Chameleon is pursued by Heavy King?

You know, it's tough because you write the stuff and it has to go through a director. Right. It has to, you know, they have to cast it.

The studio's involved. You get rewritten. You don't even know how involved you are going to be in the end. Right. But unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to say. Wow.

Well, the character's name was Heavy King? Yeah. There's Heavy King. Phew. I'm glad I got one. Mitch, I tried to put you up for that part, but like I said,

I only have so much sway at the project at a certain point. Hey, there you go. You can be the Heavy King of podcasting. I don't want to be the Heavy King of podcasting. Who's going to challenge you?

All right. Fine. I'll be the Heavy King of podcasting. Sucks. Do you have any questions for DP? I actually do have a question for DP. You and I are both big Hillstone fans. You are a guest on our Hillstone episode.

God. The greatest chain restaurant in the world. I mean, just, it's just an amazing experience every time we go there. Yeah. It's the greatest chain restaurant. If you want to hurt your tooth, you had one bad time.

You didn't even bring it up to the server. They would have rectified that. It would have comped your meal. Everything would have been great. Yeah. That was an insane story. Doc Rivers came in right after us. It's probably why he does a bad job coaching.

He hurt his tooth. You think Doc Rivers also got a piece of bone and a tonka prime rib? It's a possibility. It happened to me. There's sometimes bones in meat. That's a thing that sometimes you encounter. I think if anything, it shows how fresh the meat is.

There you go. Exactly. It's like getting a bug in produce. It's like, that's fresh. First of all, no, it's not. Bugs don't make up the inside of produce. Okay. Well, you know what?

Look, bones belong close to meat more than anything else belongs close to meat. It's where the meat comes from. It's on the bone. That's a good point. Hey, some Talmudic logic. Dave Vils, I'm wondering if you have a recent Hillstone experience of note or just any recent trends

in the Hillstone scene. Well, I've been going to the Houston's in Pasadena lately. And let me tell you, they do it as great as any other Hillstone restaurant does it across this country. That's dynamite. A great burger.

Dear God. What? What is it? I don't know. You guys are eating at Hillstones every other night. What's going on here? Where else would you want to eat? I don't think every other night is.

We're not going to. I mean, you're not going every other night. No, once a week. They're fine restaurant. They're excellent restaurants. And if I have the opportunity to go there, you know, it's a little bit of an indulgence, but I always love.

I always have a great experience there. You and I share meals there from time to time. If I could invest in anything, I would invest in that franchise. DP, I got a question for you. Working up at Brooklyn Nine-Nine. True. Kyle Murphy, my famous character.

As everyone's. Everyone knows. Everyone knows and loves him. There was a huge tick in the audience, in the Nielsen ratings on that. I would believe it. Question is, how often is he coming up in the room? Are they talking about him coming back?

What's the deal? Well, I imagine I mentioned the internet response when the show, you know, it switched networks. Yes. So much of the internet outcry was, we need more Kyle Murphy. As you know, there was a lot of drama with the cancellation and the saving.

And I think Bob Greenblatt actually, when he picked up the show and called Dan to tell him he wanted the show, he specifically asked for Kyle. For Kyle Murphy. Yeah, to come back. Wow. Wow. That is a bombshell.

So yeah, that's pretty huge for us. That's huge for me. But so far, he's not in the show. We pulled on over on all the Greenblatt. And now Greenblatt's out. So we'll see. So that being said, no mention of him at all. Okay.

There's a dark backstory there that we do need to explore. I agree. What happened to Greenblatt? He's gone. Oh, wow. Well, let's drop the Hollywood news. I think that's already been released. Yeah, it's boring.

He decided to leave. I didn't know that he was gone. Oh, wow. Yeah. Interesting. For a second, I was searching because my mom had texted me about your Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode, bitch. But I couldn't find what she texted.

I couldn't find it. Does your mom watch the show? Yeah, she watches the show and she watched a bitch episode in Mitch's episode in particular. Does she listen to this show? I don't think she's ever heard No Boys. But she's aware it exists now. Hey, speaking of Greenblatt's.

Oh, good tie-in. I thought it was a good segue. That's fantastic. It was. Yeah, it's a great... I'm not being sarcastic. It's great. I want to say Greenblatt's is a Jewish deli.

Right. I want to say this. Just to get this out of the way at the top of the episode. This is an episode about all Jewish delis. Right. We went to a specific... Oh, my God. You guys did that at the same time?

Well, okay. So, you know, here's... This is Evan speaking. I know there are two guests. I'll just clarify that. And, you know, you were... You guys were planning this October blessed event. October blessed.

October blessed. And you asked me if I wanted to come on and talk deli. I said, oh, you know, I was just on for the ice cream event. And I said, you know, I don't want to come on and talk about Jewish delis. I said, okay. Hold on.

What's going on here? All right. We offered... Here's a... We gave Ackerman some options as we do with guests. And he settled on Chick-fil-A versus in-and-out, which I think was the appropriate choice, given that he has an allegiance to in-and-out burger.

And he was also raised... Yes, he knew how inappropriate it was. He knew how inappropriate. So, I called my good friend, David Phillips. David Phillips. David Phillips. My good friend, David Phillips. That's me, this voice.

And I said, this is an emergency. The Doughboys are going to try and talk about Jewish delis with some goys. Oh, my God. We got to get in there. And we had a lot of great options for Jewish delis. Ackerman, Gabriel Hanford, Gabriel from Long Island. Loud, obnoxious, seems Jewish, isn't it?

Not a Jew. Not a Jew. That's surprising. So, I said, David, we got to go. We got to do this right. We got to really talk about... And then we went to Cantors. And then, yes, Mitch, you did say,

maybe we'll just talk about all Jewish delis. But then we started... Yeah, David. I don't think that sat right with us at all. I think that we kind of realized... Oh, my God. There is too much material there. There's too much to cover.

I think that... Oh, no. Sure. What a disaster. Oh, God. Too much to cover. We have broadcasts where we talk about come Santas and ghosts for like 15 minutes.

We love the best. And yet, you're trying to jump, put a whole entire genre of food into one episode, cram it in there so you don't have to deal with it anymore. I want to return to Mitch. To try and neatly pack something into such a small space. Mitch's first example of the tangents we go on is come Santas, plural.

It was a recent one. He thought of it. You said come Santa once. It's like it's a frequent topic. So you expect to properly be able to talk about the importance and significance of a knish while at the same time talking about come Santas for 15 minutes. Yeah, right.

It's not going to work. Okay. Yeah, we need that time allocated so we can discuss a Santa with a beard of juice. We're going to talk about Cantor's Deli today. And we're also going to talk, yes, about Jewish deli food more broadly. Can we also talk about what would happen if Freddie

worked at a Jewish deli? Yes, of course, we will talk about that. Thank you. But, David, I've been talking. Do you want to kind of... Pastramion die, bitch. Okay. We're good.

We got over it. We did it. Good. Yeah, we've been talking and we noticed that there's just a real... There was much more of a hole for this than we realized initially, I think, that we wanted to kind of fill the Jewish deli space.

Right. In audio entertainment. In audio entertainment. Wow. Not just to limit us there, but we're going to start there. Yes. So we have decided, and this is 100% real, we will be forming the deli boys.

Deli boys. Wow. This is a bombshell. This will be launching on the first night of Hanukkah this year. Yes. Wow. December 2nd. Wow.

And just, you know, we're really excited to be here, but we just want to be very clear about our relationship so we have something for you guys. What the fuck is this? We just need to run over some boilerplates. What the hell? Okay, Cesar has taken out a Manila envelope with some legal documents inside.

It appears. Here, these are... Sorry, I'm not on mic here. We got... Here, these are for you. Okay. What the hell is this shit? I have been handed a document with a paperclip

to a signature page, and it reads podcast creation agreement. You don't need to read it. You can just go ahead and sign it. It's... Don't be concerned at all. This is the longest... This is the longest document. Can I just go ahead and sign?

We get our lawyer on the phone. It's just really quick. You know what? Lev Ginsburg, we... Yeah. We'll trust us. It's fine. You just have a handshake agreement with our lawyer.

A lot of lawyers just going to run you through. Did you hate... A lot of legal leads. Did you promise Ginsburg a fucking spot on deli boys? You sick sons of bitches. You know, that's a lawyer podcast. We're not at liberty to discuss any future episodes of deli boys. Number one.

Doe Boy's Media. Doe Boy's Media should have no rights or ownership of deli boys. Well, I think that's reasonable. Fine. Sure. That's fine. It's your guy's idea. We're not claiming to own your show.

Yeah, exactly. I don't think you can read it. You can read it after the podcast. It's obviously not. I think it's fine. Dear God. Party One acknowledges that Yousong Liu and Emma Erdbrink do not have any non-compete clauses for their employment.

And Party Two is welcome to employ them if terms can be agreed upon. I think that's a very fair thing we need in writing. Yeah, that's fine. We don't... They're exclusive to us. They can take other jobs. Yousong, Emma, what are they paying you? We'll half it.

Party One agrees that... It doesn't matter. Wait a minute. Party One agrees that after the October blessed month, they will review no future Jewish delis. In exchange, Party Two agrees that their show will not include reviews of McDonald's, Burger King, or any non-Jewish deli eating establishment. Yeah, no shit. This is bull.

Weiger. Yeah. Party One... It's easy. It's very easy. Hold on. Bullet point stuff. Bullet point seven.

Party One shall provide 10% of all Patreon monies collected from show two to party two. So wait. So you're saying that we're going to put your show up on our Patreon and then give you money for it? No, no, no, no. Hold on. Just to be very clear. You are not putting our show on Patreon.

We're not doing the Joe Saunders part. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Because that was a disaster. Yeah. I want to be clear with this. We can't have another breadcast.

We have to issue a formal apology for breadcast. People are so upset that they got a piece of non-Dobois content on their Patreon feed. The U2 album of podcasts. It was free and people were so upset. So sorry about that. If you're not a Patreon subscriber, breadcast appeared for free on people's feeds on Fridays and they didn't know what was going on. Nick, like I said to you, who would have thought that a quiet man talking about bread would

have been received so poorly? I found it to be delightful. I thought it was great. I was a guest. I thought David was a guest and he was fantastic. It was part of what made me say, we got to get moving on this Deli Boys thing. Wait a minute. Party to shall receive ownership of Wally and Irma with agreement to lease them back to

party one for a hundred dollars per month. I think that's a very fair offer. You're signing away. We're sending away custody of Mitch's cats. No, you're receiving them back at a price. This is not. I think you're misreading the contract entirely. I don't think this would hold up in court.

This is insane. First of all, I think we had a very earnest conversation about how. Like how in my community, how Jewish boys were like how they were treated and and how and it was like my perception of them growing up and we had a nice chat about that and the thing and then and and you were saying like oh like yeah that thing about like Jewish people being sneaky and so on and so forth. I was saying that you don't remember this at all. You and Weigert.

What my good. When did this happen? Just hold on a second. Don't you dare turn this on me. You piece of shit. Let's just sign the contract. Just get the contract. It was.

It was a great conversation. Mitch is adjusting the contract. Mitch, are you remembering a message? I just wanted this to be known. Mitch is taking the contract seriously. He's reviewing this contract. He crossed out the bullet point involving Patreon and the bullet point involving Wally and Irma.

I'm with you on that. I don't think it's fair for them to take it. You're not going to agree upon those terms. No, I'm not going to agree to those terms. I was saying that I didn't have a lot of Jewish. A lot of Jewish families growing up in my neighborhood and and I and I and I and I once I got to college and once I met a great friend, Eddie Kinkl. I've realized I have so much in common with Jewish people.

I love them and they're they're great folks. You guys come in here with this contract trying to steal money and shows from us. What the fuck is this? I wouldn't say that that's what we're doing here. We're offering you a service and in turn you will give us a service back. This isn't just an agreement. We're here on your show. But look, you know, ultimately this is so the second page is too official.

You guys are losers. There is a great tradition of Jewish comedy and contracts and contracts. And we decided to start this podcast off right with both. But yeah, we'll talk about this later. But look, you can review it later. Just sign it first party one shall receive no compensation from a potential adaptation of party to show into a Broadway musical. You never know deli boys the musical like it would be like Jersey boys. Sure already a better a great idea. Mitch when was the last time

you went to a Broadway musical a long time ago. Do you know who's in the audience? Oh, old juice. So you're saying that this demographic would be excited to see something about two nice Jewish boys who created a deli based podcast. No stakes at all. I just I trust that you guys know that mark. We got our tagline already.

There's no stakes here. Just brisk. Story. I got it. Hold on a second. Did you just come up with that on the spot? Yeah, we're just happening. Yeah, there's no stakes here.

That's that sounds like the oldest joke I've ever heard of my entire. That's that sounds like a cat skills joke, but you really just came up. That's great. I love it. You know what? Maybe I will just sign it. Bitch. No, this deals a non starter.

Put the pen down. You guys are scared to actually sign it. I'm not going to sign this. I know this isn't binding, but also I want it out of the apartment. Now now. Yes, Nick. What is your what is your history with Jews? Judean.

I like I've you know, I do. There weren't. There were. I like them was what you were. Yeah, I like that. Better than. Yeah, you have that they're sneaky. I don't have any existing stereo like perceptions.

I mean, like I knew. Did you have Jewish friends? Yeah, Jewish friends. I mean, there are there are Jews in in Lakewood Long Beach. It wasn't like an uncommon thing. It wasn't like this was this was rare where I was growing up. It was for me. Great.

This is the conversation we had outside of the deli. We went to there was one family, the biscottis that were half Jewish and we went over there for like Hanukkah. And the first time I ever had potato latkes, latkes, latkes, latkes, latkes, sorry. Forgive me, latkes. That's okay. And I tried it three times and whiffed all three times.

Latkes. I got it right the last time. Okay. They blew my mind. I loved it. And then after that had no Jewish friends, didn't know any. There was only one Jewish kid in my school. I should won't say his name, but and and and I think he was a poor

representation of the good Jewish people I've met over the year. Interesting. I told these guys that. What the hell is wrong with that? No, I think it was a poor representation of the good Jewish people I've met over. He was just like a shitty kid. He sold star but a star singular starburst for 25 cents.

Okay. And he and he and he was kind of an asshole. But you know what? I grew to know him later and he was in like in high school. He was he was nicer, but he went he went the the one year I went to private school. He went to the same private school I went to. Got it.

Then I got to college and he Kinkal. I met one of the my best buddies. He introduced me to Rubens. I love Ruben is one of my favorite sandwich of sandwiches of all time. Susser and DP two of my great friends out here. I love I love Jewish people, but I didn't I didn't have I was very I was very sheltered in that way.

It depends on what yeah. I think it just depends on what part of the country you're in. There might just be nothing but Gentiles around you. I mean, that's just where you grow up. But were you this I'm curious about Eddie Kinkal. What did you call him? Did you have some like dumb Quincy nickname? Kinkal?

Yeah, definitely not. I call him Edie a lot of the time. You call him Edie? Yeah. Kinkal? The King? Everyone? Everyone?

Everyone called him. I mean tons of people call him Kinkal. Yeah, he he's Jewish. Yes. He and if he tells a story all the time at a young age, his they presented him if he wanted to be because his brother is Christian or Catholic. His brother is and his mom is Jewish.

Oh, okay. They presented him at an early age and said, What do you want to be? You chose Jewish and then he was always. He was like, I chose. He always says that he chose wrong itself. Interesting. He's great.

I remember one of my first experiences with Jewish food was there was a Jewish scout in my Cub Scout pack and we had meetings that is at his parents place and his mom made made us potato pancakes and it was I thought it was just such a fantastic snack. I mean, my mind was blown like just having the fact that was the first time I ever thought about having sour cream and applesauce together two things that I loved. I love just eating applesauce straight.

I loved having sour cream on baked potatoes. Having them together in the end with a fried potato treat. I was just like, this is so good. It's so good. The first time you try that that is one that's it's one of the great food moments in your life. Yeah, I really, I really mean that. You know what?

Eddie Kinkles mom. Oh, go ahead. Just the funny stories. I remember Eddie Kinkles mom came to our house my senior year and she came down serious and she was like, oh boy, someone looks hungover hadn't drank at all. She said that about you. Me and Eddie laughed about it a lot.

She's like someone's hungover. I was like, actually I hadn't drank like three or four days. I just looked like shit. Is it just how I am? Yeah, potato latkes one of one of one of my favorite treats. But besides that, matzo balls soup. I mean, like in all this stuff, truly all of this stuff I had. This is like college.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, right? Even go into like a Jewish deli or anything like that. All of that stuff even really happened out here. My first kind of like deep dive into Jewish delis happened in Los Angeles. Didn't have a lot of experience with it. No Jewish delis where you grew up.

No Jewish delis in the Quincy area. I mean, there's probably a couple in Boston, but right? There's one in Boston. There's one. It's in College, Florida. But not, you know, like not readily available. Almost sounds like a trap that there's only one. A trap.

I mean, I wouldn't want to just be have one centralized location where everyone. It's no trap. I'm sure it's great. I remember another because weirdly, a lot of a few of my memories of interacting with Jewish culture were in the context of Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts. In Boy Scouts, that was the one time or not the one time,

but those are the only times I've been in a synagogue. I think for I think for a wedding, I was in a synagogue. But I found that like I really like wearing the yarmulke. Like when I got that opportunity, I was like, oh, this is great. I wish I got to do this at church. I thought about wearing a yarmulke today. But my wife said it would be offensive. I would be making a mockery of my face.

It is very borderline. Why would that? I mean, like if you really are Jewish. Right. I think because I would be doing it to be funny. Oh, I got you. Now I would do it because I don't care. But I'm not as funny as Evan.

I didn't even think to do it. But in the context, like that is a thing you would wear if you went to temple. But there are some observant Jews who wear a yarmulke or some sort of head covering at all times. Yes. And you know, this is the kind of stuff that will delve deeper into deli boys.

Oh, interesting. I'll prepare more for that. But we probably can't keep talking about it. Is there a bullet point that covers this? We got to keep this interesting. But I think that, yes. So I think that the Torah commands you to cover your head. I think that maybe different interpretations either are at all times

or probably it's, I knew I would need to double check exactly what the meaning is. But yes, very observant Jews wear yarmulkes at all times. And then conservative and reform Jews would just wear it at temple. Got it. Do you know that I never saw locks on cream cheese and a bagel until I knew of it, but I'd never saw it until I was in college and other Jews from Evan Novick.

I didn't bring up a good college. I'm seeing him in Chicago in a couple of weeks, but I'd never seen that. I'd never seen that before. And that, that was a, that was different to me. What do you think? I, when I tried it at the time, it was actually my friend, I think Joe Aranda gave me a bite of it.

And I was like, I do not like this at all. Now as time has gone on, I do like it. I like it. It's like your relationship with Jewish people in general. There was no bad time for me with Jewish people. From my days browsing the message words at stormfront.org to today. What the fuck is this? I will say when I was younger, I was not in Boy Scouts.

I was in, and this is, I feel uncomfortable even saying the name of the organization, but Indian Guides. Oh, yes. That's the name of it. There's a Jonathan Taylor Thomas movie where it's depicted in film. Anyway, my whole group was Jewish. It was a, it's like a father and son thing that you do, but it's very similar to Boy Scouts.

And we would go on camp outs. And then one year we, we had to cancel the camp out. And I asked my parents why and they're going, yeah, the KKK is camping out there. Oh my Jesus Christ. That's real. It was pretty surprising. This is in, this is in Maryland, the DC area.

It's in Maryland, yeah. Wow. That's crazy. What a nightmare. Yeah, that's, that's awful. When in reality. It's crazy because if I would have gone to that camp out, I could have met Mitch like 20 years earlier.

What the hell is happening here? Just because I said there wasn't a lot of Jewish people growing around. What happened here? Is it true that you all could have camped out under Mitch's robe? I feel bad. I don't do that. That's never anything I ever do.

I never say stuff like that. I don't do that. It's true. Oh my God. Today might be the day I do turn on Jewish people. Oh no. And whatever you are, Weigar, fuck you too. We just, we just discussed this.

We just, we were talking about. You're Episcopalian or something? Episcopalian. We just discussed this. We spent an hour talking about our faiths and sharing. Yeah, I didn't really listen when you were talking. I'm curious about beyond the beyond delis. And I know some of this stuff is going to get on deli boys territory,

but we will speak in good faith. We will discuss faith and Jewish food. Okay, great. So I'm curious about if either of you guys were ever kosher for any appreciable period of time and what that experience was like? Well, I was never kosher. My uncle and aunt, my mom's sister and her husband were kosher growing up. And that was always a strange experience for me.

But never, ever observed any kind of kosher eating myself. And I grew up, my family kept kosher in our house. Okay. But not kosher outside of the house. Got it. Which is actually kind of surprisingly common with Jews. That there's all sorts of people kind of make their own rules. Interesting rules.

Because obviously there's Orthodox and very observant and then they're everybody else in between. And like David was saying, family is a big part of it. So my both of my parents, their parents kept kosher. So the kind of idea was, oh, well, it's kosher so that everyone can eat at everybody's house was kind of a part of it. And then when I was in high school, I like started trying to a little bit like not eat like cheeseburgers and things like that for like a year or so.

And then I gave that up. And I guess I shouldn't say it. I shouldn't have said strange in case for some reason I listen to this. But there was an interesting element of it where it was like, I had no sensitivity towards their faith. So I was just like always frustrated when I was eating food there and just being like, oh, now we have to have kosher meat. Or I was really upset when I couldn't have like milk after for dessert.

Like, oh, right. There's something. And so it would like just be the tiniest thing. I was just spoiled. But like, you know, obviously. Yeah. And that's another thing about kosher food is everybody is like different. So even though we kept kosher at my house, there's a rule that like you're

not supposed, you know, you're not supposed to eat like dairy and meat together. But, you know, if you're being really strict, that's like four hours. Oh, interesting. And in my house, that was like, yeah, how about 10 minutes? Yeah. You just like change the dishes. But my aunt and uncle, who are Orthodox and their family is, it was like, oh, no, it's like four hours.

So did you find kosher? Was it like, was it ever a struggle? Was it was it ever like, like, like, like. Oh, wait, I forgot this. Yes. I went out to LA. My roommate was in rabbinical school. And I agreed to keep kosher in the house, like in our apartment, which was a mistake.

I should not have agreed to that. Is this true? Yeah, it is true. I just remember that. That's crazy. Sorry. But did he continue with being with rabbinical school? Yes, he did.

Oh, wow. So he's a rabbi now. He's a rabbi. Wow. So did you, but you said that was a mistake and then that's kind of the kind of thing I was driving at. Was it difficult about that? Like just in, was it just part of being a broke adult or what was it exactly?

Yeah. So to keep kosher when you're a single 22 year old who doesn't know how to cook and also doesn't have a lot of money, it's very restrictive and very hard. Because I think kosher food, even though LA is a very good city to find good kosher food as far as restaurants and stuff like that. But most people who are eating kosher are having a lot of home cooked meals with their family and that kind of stuff. So relying on, you know, stuff that you were, but I was making or like frozen kosher food,

it was not, it was not great. Is there any kosher food that's better? Well, go ahead. I was just going to say, because what you were talking about, because this is a, I know this is an issue with certain, certain cities just don't have any sort of Jewish population. The show I'm working on had a bit that was going on in mobile Alabama and there was going to be a, an element where there was a, there was a gag involving matzah ball soup. Well, it was shooting onsite in mobile Alabama and the production team was just like, that

we can't do it. We just like, we can't, we'd have to find like a, a deli in like Houston and then like fly it out. Like there's no, there's just no way to do it. We'd have to make it from scratch. There's just no options. Incorrect. Incorrect.

They should have called Susser. You can buy and it's not too good. Yeah. You can buy pre jarred matzah ball soup. Okay. A grocery store here in Los Angeles and you could have overnighted it very easily to mobile Alabama. Wow.

But that's kind of, I guess what they were getting at. Right. That they had had. That would have been the option. You would have had to fly it from another, like it wasn't something they could get on site. On site. Okay.

Yeah. No, that's probably is true. Yeah. But, but yeah. I still want to figure it out. Go ahead, Mitch. I'm sorry. I got you off.

Oh, is there anything that with coach, coach or food that is cause Susser, not to, we have an upcoming episode. Evan helped me out with a lot. We, we will talk about it in the, in the, in the, in the, in the past. Oh, it is in the past. Oh yeah. It already came out. We, you and I went to a, we, we went kosher food shopping.

Yes. We went to a kosher bakery. We went to a kosher supermarket. And you said to me that, you know, like the big thing is, is that it's like other food, but then it's just kind of the worst version of food. Is there anything that's any kosher foods that are like better? I mean, like holla, holla. I mean, hot dogs.

I think is probably. Oh hell yeah. Is a good go to. Oh, why didn't I think of that? Yeah. I love a Hebrew national hot dog. Yeah. For a while they were, they were, they used to be at Costco.

That was like the thing that then they eventually switched to a Kirkland signature. Frank, which I'd argue is competitive in terms of quality. But they do it because they, they, they make a higher profit by not having another brand in there. But the, the, the Hebrew national Frank's they had at the hot dog stand at Costco for a while was just such an amazing bargain. They were so good. Yeah.

I love when they were there. I think is one of the best hot dogs. It's really good. So that's a go to, I would say. No, you can, you can pronounce it for me. Hala bread. Hala. Yeah.

Hala bread. You say bread weirder than. Yeah. And also, also, also the bread is unnecessary. Hala. Oh yeah. Is, I feel like that's a very tasty thing that people love. Yeah.

That's great. I don't know if that's just, I mean, there are just foods that are kosher just inherently, right? That are like made, having to be made specifically. Like things can just be. Right. It's not like how mainline Oreos are vegan. Yeah.

Like I don't think Hala bread can be un-kosher, can it? Well, I mean, yes. Oh, okay. Well, if it's just not made, you know, depending on how strict you are, it's not made in a kosher bakery. But because it's just. This is the interesting thing about Deli boys is that I still have something to learn about my faith.

Right. I know everything. And Evan knows everything. You guys are in different places in your spiritual journey. Yeah. That's what's so interesting. Right. I mean, East Coast Jew and a West Coast Jew, a completely not observant Jew and a somewhat

a little bit observant Jew. I mean, two very good well off families on different sides of the coast. One doctor. One the son of a doctor, one the son of a lawyer. Could we be any more different? Now that's, that's all explore. That that that is a stereotype of of Jewish people is that the doctor and lawyer thing, but another stereotype.

Oh boy. Oh, I don't like where this is going is that Jewish people are very funny. Oh, what the fuck looking no funny people. There's a bunch of them in comedy to take all the damn jobs. There's so many of them out here. Look, I was trying to be nice and give a comment. It's the truth. Do you guys agree with that?

Do you think you like a like? Is it a thing that like when you're growing up with with a bunch of Jewish friends, do you think that they are genuinely like are they usually funnier because I'm like, look, Harris is one of the funniest. I mean, you guys are insanely funny. Armin is one of the funniest guys. I know Harris is one of the funniest guys I knew ever knew. And I just I feel like and I relate and I feel like I relate.

There's a lot of things with being Irish, Catholic and Jewish that are actually kind of similar. I feel like there's like a lot of hang ups and anxiety and stuff like that. But yeah, I don't I mean, it's interesting. I I feel like I just happened to know a lot of Jews and not realize that it was weird that there were so many Jews around me. Yeah. But coming out and starting to do comedy, I didn't I was like, this is crazy.

I somehow felt like there were no Jews. I also had that experience. I like you see all of that. I felt like, where are all the Jews? About how like Jews and comedy. And I was like, I might be one of the only people. Yeah. And then I realized it's a successful.

They're already working. They're not doing this show. How to make a buck. They were they were probably like, why the hell are you guys at UCB Theater? You know, I think that's a really I think it's I was gonna say very interesting topic topic. I'll downgrade it to a somewhat interesting topic. I think, you know, it's interesting Jews, like, you know, in the 50s and 60s and 70s

had like kind of an outsider status. Yeah. And that's always kind of a funny character. Yeah. As you know, Jews have assimilated more. They maybe don't have that outsider status. So maybe they're not necessarily as funny, but I think that like it's part of like Jewish like there's kind of like a comedy part of like the, I don't know.

I don't know. I've known plenty of funny Jews and plenty of unfunny. Sure. Definitely a lot of unfunny Jews. Yeah. I think yeah. Genuinely. I think that they're usually funny, funny people.

Very funny smart people. Yeah. Jesus Christ. You guys have fucked me up. Now you can sign the contract. Don't get Mitch. Don't grab that pen. I was gonna say your hands in your pockets.

Okay. Do you want to talk about the noses now? Oh my God. This sucks. I'm fucking out of here. As the ultimate Goy. I'm a big time Goy. I want to tell you that the foods I thought of growing up that I thought of as Jewish.

Can I tell you? Yeah. Bagel and cream cheese. Honestly. Sure. Locks were the other ones, even though I never tried them and it weirded me out. Rubens. And you know, I don't think of a Ruben as Jewish.

Ruben is not really particularly Jewish. Man, I think of Rubens. I don't know why. You might get them in the context of a Jewish jelly. But I will say that it seems like Jewish jelly serve a lot of non kosher food. Like a lot of their menus for Gentiles. They do. And obviously a Ruben is not kosher because it's meat and cheese.

Yeah. But pastrami is very Jewish. Yeah. And Ruben is, you know, common Jewish jelly. But I don't, for me, it's not on the list of what I think of when I think of Jewish food. Maybe just also because it's on Rye bread or whatever. Yeah. And then also just matzo ball soup.

Those were the big, and potato lackeys. So those are the only ones that I knew as Jewish food. And then Sus, there's a whole world I don't know. I mean, you showed me a lot of stuff the last couple of days that I knew nothing about it all. I'm curious because one thing, and this is not unique to Judaism, but one thing is that there are holidays that involve fasting. And that's something as someone who has raised Christian and then kind of agnostic for a spell. I never really experienced.

The only fasting I've done is when I've been doing it for nutritional reasons. Did you guys find yourself fasting when you were growing up? And what was that experience like? I didn't really fast. My mom fasted. There were, again, the same thing with my family where people did it. And I was like, wow, I don't have to do this. I'm amazed that you could just get away with not doing it.

I just felt like the whole, the circuit that I was on for pretty reformed Judaism, which is what it would be called, was once a week going to Hebrew school. That was a mandate. And you have to be Bar Mitzvah. And that was about it. And then there would be the Jewish things that would happen. We would go to a temple once or twice a year. And I would have to go to that until I was about, until I left for college.

Then I would come back and decide not to go. It's pretty lax. And I was raised conservative with Jewish. Again, huge difference. Which was Hebrew school three times a week. Wow. Wow. That's great.

And I would fast. And Yom Kippur is the holiday that you fast on. And it was like, really, it was from like 6 p.m. because it starts in the evening, the holiday until like 8 p.m. the next day. And also fasting included no water. Oh my God. That's insane.

That's insane. That's a nightmare. My dad, at a certain point, I remember he revealed his secret is you come home after synagogue and you just sleep until the very, as long as possible. Wow. Also, the other thing too is my parents were really observant about Yom Kippur. So we did not use lights or watch television on Yom Kippur. So just not eating.

And just like very, we're in it. Would you just have candles, basically? Well, no, you could leave lights on, but you couldn't be turning them on and off. Oh, interesting. Yeah. That's a little bit of a loophole. Oh, it's more about, it's more about the energy. Like you're usually, you know, I like it.

It's not about the fact that you're not, that you're using energy. Rambweiger. Get fucking educated, Nick. Susser told me this stuff earlier today. The work of turning a switch on and off, not the fact that you're using power. I got it. Then in addition to that Passover, which I don't know, did you observe that at all or no? Yes.

Passover, I was going to say, was actually somewhat fun to observe because my mom would cook different things that I would be excited to eat. And so Passover is not fasting, but it's, you don't have any bread during that for eight days. Yeah, that's when matzah comes into play. And that's a thing, like, because I've done, I've done paleo-style diets where I had no bread for long stretches and it does take some adaptation, but I'd imagine like as a kid, bread was such a staple of me eating.

And I imagine that was challenging to not have any bread for a while, right? Yeah, it was pretty challenging. But again, like David said, there was something kind of fun about it too. Yeah. Because you just have different food and also your, like parents are trying to make it fun for you. Yeah. And it's kind of weirdly like my mom started, like would cook more, like she would cook

all the time, but like she was more into cooking for that week for whatever reason. Right. Like fried matzah for breakfast every morning, which is, or matzah brie, which is what it's all right. And that's like an actual, it's not an intensive dish, but it's at least like you have to actually make something rather than put cereal in a bowl. And so I'd get that for breakfast and I'd be like, this is great. What are the components of that?

You basically do a lot of scramble, you scramble eggs uncooked in a bowl. You put a little cinnamon and probably a little milk in there. And then you dip, you break up pieces of matzah. You dip it in the egg, you get it all soaked up and then you throw it on a pan. Sounds amazing. It's like a kind of like a deconstructed French toast almost. Yeah. And except with matzah.

And then you essentially add either jelly or butter or cinnamon or applesauce, whatever the person. I do jelly. Is it passing Susser's tests? I can't tell. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Susser.

How long would you fast for? For that whole time. Wait, how long? 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. the next day, 26 hours? And you lived? We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys.

It's October blessed. That's right. So we're going to go over to Deli Boys territory and you're going to tell me I am wrong. I think Cantors was a great choice for this episode. No, I agree with that. Okay, all right. Let's give people a little, paint a picture a little bit for people who aren't Angelinos because I think anyone who lives in LA and maybe the Southland at large is one of the

best people in the world. I think that's a great choice. Let's give people a little, paint a picture a little bit for people who aren't Angelinos because I think anyone who lives in LA and maybe the Southland at large is familiar with Cantors. It is such an icon. You go in there and they get a bunch of pics of celebs on the walls. Obama visited, I think maybe more than once.

They just had a lot of pictures. They have a lot of pics of Obama up there. But it's located in the Fairfax district, this historic neighborhood in LA. It's got this very vintagey sort of feeling exterior and interior right next to the Cantors. It's kind of a very sprawling, large floor plan with a lot of tables. Cantors is gigantic. It's gigantic. It's huge, chef.

And a gigantic deli counter up front where you can order. And then they've also got next to it, they've got this adjunct called the kibbitz room, which is like this really divey frozen-in-time bar that's maybe a little expensive for how divey it is, but it is a lot of fun in there. But yeah, as a stand-in for delis at large, I think it's a pretty good idea. I think it's a pretty good candidate. It was a place that I used to go, like I would bring friends who were visiting out here. We go to Cantors and we go to Cantors late night.

It's open 24 hours. It's open 24 hours. And I would get like a Reuben or a pastrami sandwich or I would get this steak sandwich, which is just a grilled steak on fucking bread. I never feel like that works. Oh, it was so good. They're just like, because you get a steak cooked to temperature, you get like a medium rare steak. It's just hard to bite into.

I need a knife. Cantors fucking knocked it out of the park with a, what can I say? You would tear at it. Like you had to, you had to put some work in, but it was great. And then, and it's also just like a place where you would see people. I remember like my friend was here and like Andy Dick was in the, the Kippets room, like singing on the stage and just like with like characters definitely passing through. Sure.

It's, I'd say, I'll say this. This is, that was in 2005 or 2006. I think that I think Cantors is, it's, it's an old establishment anyways. And it, and it feels older now. It feels, it feels like the last 12, dozen years have been, have been rough on it a little bit, but I still think, I feel like it has like such character. It's such a cool place to be. It, it, it, it maybe looks, it looks a little, it looks a little kind of shitty and it,

and it, and it maybe doesn't smell the best. Right. There's like a lot of different smells going on in there, but, but I, but I still do love and tellies are not known for their smelling. Good. Sure. That's a, that's a great point. It is.

I, you don't want to feel like it's any worse than a normal deli. Well, yes. In 2017, it got a C from the health department. I don't know if you guys, that's right. And it was shut down. It was shut down. Yes. That was not a great sign.

Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and it's, but it was a very anti-semitic. Yeah. Who mistook all the Jews in there for rats? Oh boy. I'm allowed to say. Man, DP's the new bitch, huh?

My mom. Oh no. She's going to say, she shall be. I'm going to call and give her a call later. I'll apologize. We can, we won't, but we could. But, but, uh, it's, it's, I love the place for a lot of reasons. It's got a lot of character.

And you know, the, the, the dumb stereotype of LA, which is completely inaccurate for anyone who spends any appreciable amount of time here is that it's kind of like the city devoid of character. There's so much character. And LA, there's so, and this is, you know, one of these, one of the many, many spots where you can kind of experience a little, uh, something that's, that's very distinct and, and specific. Um, I will say this, the, the other thing that the, the sea from the health department

made me think of is I read an article from one of the Cantor's owners once, or it was like a profile of one of the Cantor's owners once. And he's talking about the fruit cups, which they have at the deli counter. And, uh, he was basically like, he was, this was, you know, farm to table was the big thing in the zeitgeist. At that time. And he was basically saying like, like he thought seasonal produce was bullshit. And his quote was, I fight the seasons.

So like, he didn't like care about seasonal fruit at all. He just put whatever he wanted, whatever he bought at the grocery store at any time, just like right in there. You know what? I like that. That's kind of funny. I appreciate that. Um, so we, we, we, our most recent visit, uh, we all went there.

I started the night I got there first. That is, this is such a Jewish. Yeah. Like a normal restaurant, a special means like, oh, a new food or something like that. Yeah. At a Jewish deli, a special only means it's cheaper. Oh, you get this with that. That's what the special is.

There are no new items. It's just, oh, if you get that with that, but it's a 10% okay. That's what, that's what's special about it. It's cheaper. There's no special fruit. It's the same stuff every time. I like that. What's special is that it's cheaper.

Right. Uh, well, we went to the, uh, I started the night. I was there first and I went to the kibbitz room. You said that once already. Yeah. I know it was getting. I was resetting my story. You were there first.

I'm not bragging about being there first. I got off work first and I live, I will work closest to it. I took the bus over. I walked down and I was, uh, I would set up a shop in the kibbitz room. I showed up on time. Yeah. You showed up. You were on time.

Everyone was on time. It was fine. Relax. You're, you're picking a fight right now. You were trying, you're trying to lean on me saying that I got there first as if I was trying to insinuate something. All right. What happened there?

I walked in and you were, you were, I, I, I said this to Susser. I said, I walked in there and, and why goers chatting up a storm with a bartender. Yeah. And then I came in there and he barely say a word to me. I talked to you all the time. When I talked to you, what was your exact line? It was good. It was like, he's great with strangers, not with actual friends.

I think that's true. You were in there. You were having a glass of wine, Nick. Yeah. I had, I, I went there and I sat down for a bit and I just kind of had, uh, you know, it was very, there was pretty sparse in, in, in terms of how many people were there. Um, so I had a spot at the bar and, uh, the, the bartender was Bostonian, super Bostonian. In fact, when he got into Boston stuff with you, I felt like he was kind of trying to

alpha you. Yeah. But also I told you when I said, when I dropped Quincy, they, they, they respected. Yeah. Quincy got it. But then he was like, I'm from Southie, which I think is, is that more Boston? South, South, I mean, Southie is in Boston. Yeah.

So yeah. Yeah. But then he also had like, he had like another backstory where I was like, I lived here first and I was like, hmm, wait a minute. Like, like there was, there was, but he, he also, I, once I dropped, once I dropped Quincy, he was, he was in. Yeah. He liked me.

And there was another guy that was like, from like, from like, from like, from like, another guy that was like, from like, somewhere else, like Malden or something. And, and he was like, the guy said it at the city of the bar next to us. No attention to him. Right. Right. But he was, he was a nice guy. You notice your pads hat.

I mean, that's like a thing. You got the, you get a sports hat. That's like a connection to people. Yeah. It's like, oh, okay. I know where you're from. It was a great guy. We got, I got, I got myself a woodchucks cider, I believe.

Yeah. You ordered the cider and he told you to get the fuck out. He did. That was funny. Yeah. That was funny. It was great. He said, tell him that you happen to drinks with a, I forget his name, Jimmy or something.

It might give you a discount in the, at the diner, which we didn't do. And he also said, come back after dinner and I'll give you, I'll hook you up and we didn't follow up. You were, you were ready for bed. Yeah. It was so, I was so fucking late. We started at like nine o'clock. Um, but a, I will say the drinks were a little expensive.

I got myself a Tito's and soda first. I sucked that down while I was waiting for Mitch when Mitch was there. You got that cider. I got a glass of Pinot Grigio. Um, and, uh, we had to drink those kind of fast because that's about when, uh, DP and Susser arrived and we made our way over into the main room. Um, but yeah, keep it through. I'm a fun place to hang out.

The only thing I'll say is like those drinks are like, they were like 11 bucks a piece. It was, it was a lot. Yeah. For just, for just like a very basic sort of, I mean, not a well drink, a cold liquor, but still just a very basic drink and a class of wine. We will also get into this, but delis are oddly expensive. They are. They tend to be, they tend to be very, very pricey.

Yeah. It's crazy that, that like a, like a pastrami sandwich will be 18 bucks or 20 bucks. It's, yeah, it's, it's, it's more, it's, but also I'm not disappointed when we'll, we'll get into it, but I'm not disappointed when they, the servings are so gigantic. I feel like it never really matters. Right. Yeah. So we work our way into the main dining room.

We got seated pretty quickly. Um, and, uh, let's, let's start with the beverages. I got myself a maker's old fashioned, which is just what they have. They have like a list of cocktails. They're, they're old fashioned. It's called the maker's old fashioned. A classic Jewish drink. Yeah.

It's made with makers. All of the alcohol. This is very, not very Jewish, all the alcohol, I have to say, but they do have it on the menu. Right. We're indulging. Yeah. Del, like delis typically don't have full bars.

Certainly. It doesn't seem like that seems very, very unusual in my experience. For being in West Hollywood or something. Can you have one non-alcoholic drink for one swagger? I had to spend two hours with you. I didn't numb that somehow. Um, but, uh, yeah, it was, I would just say this was a very, very watery drink. It was just like, I don't know if they, I don't know what it was exactly.

This is why the deli point. We're talking about cantors. We've spent five minutes talking about your drinks. They have a bore attached to it. It was a watery old fashioned. They mount their charging. It should be a little bit better. I'm going to fix this shit right now.

I ordered a fucking egg cream. Yeah. A chocolate egg cream. Oh, I loved it. For those who've never had an egg cream. It reminded me of like a, like a, like a, I used to get a mocha ice cream soda, like ice cream soda where they just put a scoop of ice cream into seltzer water. Emma, you know what I'm talking about?

And it might be a Boston ear and then they would put some chocolate in there too. Delicious. There's no ice cream. Of course. It's just sus help me out. Seltzer water. Chocolate syrup. Chocolate syrup and milk.

Yep. And it was it was tasty as hell. I loved it. It's weird. It's a nonsensical name calling it an egg cream. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to stand behind the name.

The name is confusing. The name is not a strong point, but you know what I'll say about it. It scares all those little fucking wimps off. If you if you're afraid of the name, then you can't have that. You can't taste the delicious egg cream. You think that's an asset that it scares people away. It's an exclusive club that you're not a part of. Uh-huh.

David Susser, what did you guys get for drinks? Uh, we both got Dr. Brown sodas, which are very classic deli drink. Classic deli drink. Why is that? I don't really know. I have no idea. No idea. But it just is very much a classic Jewish deli.

Maybe it's a New York. Like there's a lot of New York things that happen in delis. I got it. I wonder if it was a New York soda or something. That might be it. I think also maybe I know that it used to be kosher for Passover. And Coke and Pepsi were not at the time. So maybe that was kind of part of it.

Got it. They would do that. But yeah, it's just very. Who is this Dr. Brown? Anyways, do you know? He's the same Dr. Brown from the Back to the Future franchise. Really? Yeah.

Wow. Marty. Yeah, there's the Back to the Future four was supposed to be Doc Brown put in the lowering side. Starting up a soda business. He steals back in time to find to steal the original Coca Cola recipe. And then he's a good story.

He steals this. That's why it was never made. It was cotton development hell. I also got myself a black cherry Doc Brown soda after after my cream. So I had the diet. The cream soda. Yeah.

But I used to do black cherry as a kid. What is what do you think is the most deli of the Doc Brown soda? Is it a cream soda or is it black? The cherry is up there, right? Yeah. For me, I would say I have a black cherry or cream soda. I think it's a tie.

Yeah. There you go. They're both great. This to me is like this is an element I didn't know about the Doc Brown soda being specific, the Dr. Brown soda is being specific. I'd always just thought like you just get like a coffee or tea or fountain drink.

I didn't know there was a deli specific. You know, for me, I wouldn't have, you don't know until you meet another person from another part of the country like Evan who also had the same Dr. Brown experience. And then you're like, oh, it must be a deli thing. Because the delis I grew up with always had it, but then. It's a treat for the kids. Apparently.

Yeah. No, but also the adults who don't drink alcohol because Jewish adults don't really drink too much alcohol. Interesting. Some people in my family disagree. A little different problem, but they don't drink in the deli. Yeah. And then we got a couple of appetizers.

We got the potato pancakes come with that with applesauce and sour cream. And then we also got, and I might mingle this pronunciation. I'm going to do my best. Like me. Kasia Varnishkas. Kasia Varnishkas. Kasia Varnishkas.

Well, I ordered it, Nick, and I did it flawlessly. I want to say this. I mean, this is a joy talking about this stuff anyways. I like talking about people's experiences growing up. But this was one of my favorite moments of the night was when we were talking appetizers and you and David were talking about what to order. And it was just a very fun thing to witness about what was the

right thing to do. What's the right representation of this and that and trying to figure it out. And I will say when I got home, my wife asked what we ordered and she said, no conish. Like she thought that we had really messed up, but we decided to, we decided two potato dishes was maybe a mistake, which I think was wrong.

We should have probably done that. But we did potato pancakes, which were a huge hit. By the way, no conish. I think you got a title of your memoir. Koshka varnishkas. So let me, what did I do wrong? Koshka varnishkas. Koshka varnishkas.

So there's something, there's an element. Why do you keep stopping? There's something that's silent that I'm accidentally pronouncing because I'm reading it. But let me give a little definition for people who might be, this might be foreign to. A traditional Ashkenazi Jewish dish that combines kasha, which is buckwheat grotes with noodles, typically bowtie pasta.

And that's kind of, it was kind of like a, it seemed like a whole wheat pasta by appearances. I'm sure it wasn't exactly that. And then has like the sort of brown dipping sauce, which I wasn't quite sure what it was. Gravy, right? It was gravy. And I'll say that for me, gravy was not something I had ever

experienced. Oh, interesting. Which you guys, when you had it without the gravy, just said it tastes like nothing. I mean, DP, you pointed that out. Yeah. It was an absence of flavor. That was the best way I could describe it.

It looked like there was so many things on it. It was shocking how it tasted like nothing. There was so much stuff on it that I was afraid to eat it because I was like, there's so many flavors that are going to be in my mouth. And I don't know if I'm going to like them. It was like eating air. And then, and then with the gravy on it, it tasted like gravy.

And that's usually not traditional with Jewish food either. Cause usually I feel like it, Jewish food stems from like taking a lot of like old scraps food and like turning it into flavor. Yeah. A lot of salt and all that stuff. So I was like, oh, this must be, this is going to be insane. Cause I'd never actually had that dish before either. Yeah.

I wonder if it was like the food equivalent of like, you know, that Simpsons where Mr. Burns has so many diseases and the doctor illustrates it by all the diseases are trying to get through a door and they can't cause they're just all clogged. It's the same sort of phenomenon. There's just like so much flavor thrown on there that it neutralizes it and it tastes like nothing. But yeah, the texture was like maybe a little interest,

like a little rubbery slash gritty kind of interesting. It needed the gravy to give it anything at all. But yeah, it was kind of a nothing, nothing app. Are you down that gravy? Didn't you? Did you go straight gravy? I didn't see any of the cars of Anishka's in there. Nope.

I just put my. I just put my. I pronounce it wrong. Is that what you said? No. The potato pancakes though. I thought we were very, very good. I know it's going to say that it doesn't seem like that was canter

specialty. The I mean, well, I will say it basically tasted like a taste. Oh, wow. It's not. Oh, I have a new opinion. There's an issue with this dish. A bad thing. Yes.

Well, that's another thing about a Jewish deli is if a dish doesn't succeed, it will stay on the menu. I think that that is like a give it. You've never seen a thing removed from the menu. That's not a thing that's going to happen. Right. It just won't be ordered. And then maybe they'll be surprised if you ordered it or.

There's a reason Gordon Ramsay has never tackled a Jewish deli. He'd be like screaming at some man named Herschel, who is just explaining that he's not going to take this fucking inedible dish off the menu. Do a whole printing. You got to buy new paper menu. What are we? It is.

It blows my mind the amount of things on a lot of Jewish deli menus. It's insane. Like it to me. I'm like, I don't understand how a place like this can like their month. Like they must be throwing stuff away or like they're right. I don't. I don't understand how they do. Yeah.

It doesn't makes the volume of product they must have there to make all these dishes. It's kind of like the secret of like, you know, if you go to like, you know, Chipotle or something where it's like, oh, they have like, you get a burrito. You could get like a salad. It's like, it's all the same stuff. Just really interesting.

It's like all the sandwiches. It's like a Rubin. Oh, and a pastrami sandwich. It's like, well, the Rubin is just a pastrami sandwich. Plus some sauerkraut and cheese. So I think a lot of the stuff, even though they have a lot of stuff, it's a lot of the same ingredients. Interesting.

Okay. How do you guys feel? I have two quick questions and then we'll move on to mains. How do you feel these potato pancakes stack up versus other potato pancakes you've had? And also, are you an applesauce guy or are you a sour cream man? Okay. I'll get into this right away.

Yeah. This is DP's time to shine. I'm a both. I'm go applesauce and sour cream. Oh, wow. Yeah. Both of them work great together. These potato pancakes were, this is the one reason why I think

Cantor's was a good place to go to, was the most exact like deli potato pancake for me where it was like good. Very good. Not the best potato pancake I ever had. Uh-huh. And, but I feel like a big fault with deli potato pancakes if they're ever bad is that they're too big and wet and not like crispy. Right.

And these were at least crispy. They are crispy. But the other thing I'll say is the best deli, or the best potato pancake you're going to have is a homemade latke. I don't think I've been to a deli yet that's done a latke to the same level as even my mom or anyone else that I've read homemade latke. And a homemade latke is definitely a lot thinner. Okay.

You'd reckon it looks more like a hash brown than like, but like, yeah, but they're different. Yeah. They're definitely different. I definitely remember those from that Cub Scout meeting. Oh, so long ago at Ricky's house. How delightful those, those latkes were. They were really good.

Ricky's house. Who the hell was Ricky? He was in my Cub Scout pack. I told the story already. I told the story already. With Jews or you got fed latkes. Like the same exact like lured into a Jewish house. Hold on a second.

No, there was no open door that I just walked in and tried to lock up. You were invited. Okay. Who's friends? Um, I, I loved them. I thought I was nervous when I saw them cause they were thick. And I thought they were going to be dry or, or, or whatever in the middle.

They'd be cold, but they were great. I thought they were great. I loved them. I'm a sour cream man more than the apple sauce, but I love the combo. I love putting a little sour cream on that. Who would have thought like we said before, what a fucking, what a great combo that is.

I never would have in my life thought that you, you put sour cream and apple sauce together. It works. It works dynamite and the fact that you have both. I'm curious how there are listeners. Uh, let us know if your potato pancake, uh, accompaniment of choices, applesauce or sour cream, a hashtag apple jack or hashtag cream gene. Way in, way in on the social media.

Gross. Wow. It's a gross. The second one is gross. Do you have a, do you have a better pitch for a name? Cream gene. Cream gene. Not like you're creamed your jeans.

Not like you're creaming your jeans. No, like your last name is, like your first name is Jean. Okay. Like you're blasting a load in your denim pants. That's what, that's what it sounds like. Well, okay. If people are going to leap to that, spell it G E N E. That like mean gene ochre lint.

All right. Fine. All right. Good. Soft. Good. Um, my dish I got was, I look here, here's, here's one thing I'll say. I, one reason I was very excited to go to canners is because I love breakfast

at Jewish delis. Like it's like one, I like, I think people fall into sandwich caps or breakfast camps in terms of what, what dishes they go with. Am I wrong? The using of the camps. Oh no. Oh no. We all felt it.

Mitch said that. You're going to separate us into different camps. Everyone gets separate camp when they get to it. Oh boy. Uh, DP and Susser, you're in the breakfast camp. Interesting. I'll just sign this contract now. Everything will be fine.

That's, that's interesting. You say that I, I, I, I maybe I haven't, I haven't had a good Jewish breakfast. I mean, I haven't even attempted to have it. I always, I'm always going sandwich when I go to, to, to Jewish deli. I think the breakfast at a deli is underserved. So yeah, I think that like it's, it's interesting to hear that Nick, first of all, that's your go-to thing at a deli. 100% because I definitely have a few like delis that I prefer there.

Like I get excited to go to breakfast there more than, but yeah. Yeah. I will say that a breakfast at a deli is very fun. And it's also, if I have to have like a breakfast meeting with someone, if it's Jewish deli is the best choice for that. Yeah, I think you're right. Because it's like fun and you have like an omelet and it comes with a bagel and it just feels like a bagel.

You've had, you've done only a bagel guy. So you got that. A bagel with cream. I mean, like a, And all the fish spread. I don't know if you like locks and that kind of stuff. But yeah, no, breakfast at a deli can be great. Yeah.

Well, I got the locks, eggs and onions scrambled speaking of locks and a huge gigantic portion. It felt like they were going to make it with four eggs. I got it with cottage cheese. You can choose your side. And then I got an aforementioned bagel. I got an everything bagel with cream cheese. I thought that the dish was, I mean, I thought it was great.

I thought it was like a really good execution of a very simple sort of classic scramble. I like the, the interplay, I like, I mean, I like locks just on its own. And I think here, you know, sometimes you get something that's, that's normally served cold and it gets heated up and it tastes a little like rancid. But that wasn't the case here. I think these actually worked really well with the, with the eggs and,

and the, and the onions and plenty of onions in there, which I really liked. The cottage cheese was fine. I mean, it's like, it's cottage cheese. How much variance is there in cottage, in terms of cottage cheese? The bagel I thought was, They're going to be good and bad cottage cheese. No, I know. But I mean, I mean, like, you know, I think it was right down the middle.

It wasn't like, Do you have any fruit with that? No. I always got to be eating fruit with my cottage cheese. I like it without it. Just straight up. Yeah. Just regular cottage cheese.

No, no, no. Apple sauce and cottage cheese. Really? Yeah. I will say this is cottage cheese for whatever reason. Discuss me. Wow. I can't eat it.

I can't eat it. My grandmother would eat it like every day. It doesn't grow. My mother eats it. I eat, it disgusts me. I love it. Some things, if you see an old person eat it, it just can be really gross. I turned on it.

I, I, she's being gummed by like, like, I can imagine some things I've seen. My, my grandparents eat where I'm like, well, I'm never going to, I don't want to eat that. It seems like your families are not going to like this episode. Yeah. They probably shouldn't eat this episode. Well, they're going to be so proud of me anyways. At the end of every episode of Deli Boys,

we decided we're going to call her mother. I don't know where. This will, this will seem in character to what you guys know about me. I can think of cottage cheese as a beloved boyhood snack. Like I would like to have, I would just have cottage cheese after school, like when it as an eight year old boy. Yeah.

Let me think. Do I think a little Nick Wagner is a lame wad? Yeah. Of course. I'm interested to hear though about your omelet being good. Cause I feel like I always like the idea of that kind of omelet, but in my experience, it often just ends up becoming like an omelet with like cooked salmon.

Yes. Which, which, you know, I mean, it is kind of by design. It is kind of that, but I think the smokiness of the locks was still coming through and, you know, that was a big time pass to your. I didn't try it. Yeah.

Right. But the idea of your breakfast, I did not. I didn't. I didn't like it. I also too. It wasn't an omelet. It was a scramble, which for me I think like keeps or it keeps the individual elements

from being overcooked. The, I thought at home of sometimes of trying to do that and like doing the scramble and then just putting like locks in at the end. Oh, that might work. I want the way to do it. Yeah, but I've never really quite pulled it off.

Well, they can't be cold either. They have to be a little warm. I don't know. Right. It's, it looked like a tricky dish, but I will say that it looked tasty.

It was good. And then the everything bagel I got with, with the cream cheese, here's one thing I like. They give you plenty of cream cheese. They give you more than enough cream cheese. Cause I like that thin layer of. That always frustrates me when they don't give you enough cream cheese.

It's so weird at a deli too. Exactly. It's like the weirdest thing. They bring out this like tiny little, like sauce dipping like, you know, quarter inch little stainless steel thing. Right.

No, give me that little jacuzzi of cream cheese. And let me put on like a Cinnabon layer of, of glaze on top of the each half. The everything bagel was nicely toasted. It was a good bagel. And I like having a bagel with breakfast. Like it's nice to not just have a bagel, but have that as like your bread side with a,

with a, with a full meal. Let's talk about your guys, entrees. You want, you guys want to go first? Yeah. Sure.

So I decided for the purposes of the podcast, I was going to order the chicken in a pot. And I'll say. This, this, this was the big one. This, this, this was, this was the thing.

Yeah. You know what? We'll finish. Mine's, mine is less excited. Okay. You wait. Yeah. I mean,

now we got a nice tease for this. Yeah. I got, I mean, what's in the pot? We know what it is. Oh, it's a chicken. I don't think people do know what this is.

Okay. All right. Did you know what the fuck that was? No, but he said chicken in a pot. If you, if you know tweet, I know the chicken in the pot. And if you don't know,

say, I don't know. What's the chicken? At this point, and it's not at the end because we will explain it. Include a hashtag. I went with a, yes,

include a hashtag. Oh God. You got to hold people's hands sometimes. Um, I went with the Ruben sandwich. Uh, I love Rubens. Uh,

I got introduced to him in college. Look, my group of friends, we weren't the smartest. We weren't the best looking. We weren't the best with the ladies, but we could eat Ruben sandwiches, baby. I believe it.

Yeah. We were the most, the most believable step I've ever heard. We had big, wet guts, small, is that way? Is that a nickname of one of your friends?

We, we, we, we loved. I mean, every single one of my friends love Rubens. I feel like every, and there was a place called shortstop deli and I had never,

I really had never tried a Ruben until I think it was college. I do kind of wonder a bitch. I wonder if like some of this might be projection. Like we got like your old friend, like he was like, hey man, do you love Rubens?

He's like, yeah, they're fine. You have this memory of all these guys wolfing down Rubens. They used to, they used to chant out the ingredients to Rubens. This is, I'm not kidding around.

What are you talking about? We loved Rubens. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

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19 19 19 19 19 19 Hey San Diego! We're doing a live show at the House of Blues on Friday, November 30th.

For tickets and info, go to headgum.com slash live and look for Doughboys. Surf's up, see you there buddy. Now you're speaking my language.