Doughboys - Octdoughberblessed: In-N-Out vs Chick-Fil-A with Scott Aukerman

Episode Date: October 4, 2018

For the first week of Octdoughberblessed, the ‘boys are joined by Scott Aukerman (Comedy Bang! Bang!, Threedom) to talk about their religious upbringings and Scott’s history with food service before comparing two of the nation’s most prominent religious chains: In-N-Out and Chick-Fil-A. Plus, another edition of Drank or Stank. Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A reading from the New Testament, New Revised Standard Version, Book of First Corinthians, Chapter 11. When you come together, it is not really to eat the Lord's Supper. For when the time comes to eat, each of you goes ahead with your own supper, and one goes hungry and another becomes drunk. What? Do you not have homes to eat and drink in? Or do you show contempt for the Church of God and humiliate those who have nothing?

What should I say to you? Should I commend you? In this matter, I do not commend you. For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me. In the same way, he took the cup also after supper, saying, This cup is the new covenant

in my blood. Do this as often as you drink it in remembrance of me. For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes. Whoever therefore eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be answerable for the body and the blood of the Lord. Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For all who eat and drink without discerning the body, eat and drink judgment against themselves.

For this reason, many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined, so that we may not be condemned along with the world. So then, my brothers and sisters, when you come together and eat, wait for one another. If you are hungry, eat at home, so that when you come together, it will not be for your condemnation. About the other things, I will give instructions when I come.

This week on Doe Boys, Week 1 of October Blessed, our month-long exploration of religious chain restaurants with a battle of hyphenated Christian chains, Chick-fil-A vs. In-N-Out. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, loving and thoughtful cat dad, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. What the hell? That was courtesy of Seth Wanta and Mitch. As this month is October Blessed, in the spirit of the season, instead of Roast Spoon Man,

it's Holy Ghost Spoon Man. Holy Ghost Spoon Man? That's right, people, send in your reverential tributes to Mitch to roastspoonmanatgmail.com, and if they're sincere and they're nice and they're short, I'll read them on the show. Wow. What a start to the... That's crazy, Nick.

Thank you. Yeah. Well, hey, you know, a little positivity. We'll see if this energy works for us, probably not. Ghost? It's strange to say Holy Ghost Spoon. It seems like a weird verb. Right.

Yeah, it's a little awkward. It's also... It's like, is it kind of sacrilegious, maybe? Yeah, probably. We're also dealing with something which is that you... Like, I've been telling you to get a paper towel spool for the table. There is a paper towel spool on the table now, but it's obstructing my eye line. I don't know why...

I'm getting mostly spooled. Why did you put it there, first of all? Well, it's handy. Our guest is moving it out of the way. This is embarrassing, Nick. This is very nice. But no, I just... I was like...

It's useful to have on here, but I also want to be able to see you. The table doesn't need more stuff. There's a trophy, a monster jar. Yeah, there's a bottle of wine that you song's parents got for you that you've never opened. Wine is better with age. Is that true? Is that true with that wine? I'm not sure.

There's your Captain Phasma pop figurine, a character from a movie you don't like. Anyways, this might be the most embarrassing... Howdy-ho to Spoon Nation I've ever done. Oh, my God. Is that a thing you do? That could be the sequel to That Thing You Do. Right. Is that a thing you do?

I know you haven't introduced me, that's all. No, you're right. This is my fear of this happening is... I was right to fear this moment, and it happened. And now here's a drop that isn't good either, and it's long, and it's a longer one. There's too many drops in the email box. Look, we should have a little ghost story. It's gonna be a nightmare.

Ghost. Ghost. Death. Core. Kill me. Vamps. Dracula. Leslie Nielsen.

Dracula. Baseball bat. Dragula. Lionheart Graves. Drag Me to Hell. The Devil himself. One big fat sperm. Frankenstein.

Witch. Nosferatu. Goblins. The Fly. The Leprechaun. Chucky. Me. Glottages.

The Nightly News. Tupac. Alex Johnson. Cenobytes. The Three Stooges. He's too evil. Sweet toy. There you go.

I do oddly have kind of a Vincent Price laugh there. It kinda works. That was from Chad Hancock. Well done. Ice Boothman. I just wanted to say I love the pie. It's my favorite. Keep up the great work.

Here's a drop inspired by your recent Wahoo episode with Eliza Skinner. She's hilarious and it's one of my favorite apps. Thank you. Chad Hancock. You tried that. That's right. That was me laughing maniacally when you confessed that you were afraid that your Mickey doll was going to come to life.

When I was a child. Mickey mouse or a Dolan's? Oh God. It was Mickey Rourke oddly. Oh. From the best. Yeah. My Mickey Rourke doll as a child?

Yeah. Harley-Davidson in the Marvel Man figurine. Nine and a half weeks. Was he in that? I don't know. I don't know. I don't think anyone knows. Yeah.

I just know Basinger and she got an egg cracked on her. I know you can leave your hat on. Is that a thing? Is that a thing you do? Leave your hat on? Mitch has today. I leave it on for the pod. It's my look.

Oh God. I'm afraid to. It covers. It covers up as an exposed brain. I don't have a Frankenstein exposed brain. Frankenstein doesn't have a Frankenstein exposed. Well, who does have an exposed brain? Good question.

What's his name in Hannibal? Oh yeah. That's a Ray Liotta. Ray Liotta and Hannibal. Yeah. You know, I almost, I try to get, I almost got Ray Liotta for the podcast. Well almost. Almost is doing a lot of work there.

You thought about sending an email to a publicist. Let's introduce our guest. I did. I did send an email to a publicist. Okay. All right. Okay. I did.

I did send an email to a publicist. I should have given you more credit. I'm going to say about our first guest. Yes. He puts the Ock in Ock Dober blessed. Oh, man. It's come on. You also.

Why are you nervous right now? I just feel like you're going to roast me. No, I'm not going to roast you. I was a big fan. He's being very nice. Our guest is the host of Comedy Bang Bang and Freedom. There's two episodes available now and every Thursday, wherever you find podcasts, Scott Ackerman is here.

Hi Scott. Hi guys. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for being here. We wanted to have you on a great big, we've always talked about having you on a great big episode. Yeah. We've been talking about it for years.

Right. And now we decided, we decided to just go with October blessed to kick it off. I think, I think Kevin over at Chef Kevin was trying to get me on some shows to promote freedom. So, you know, at this point, like why wait for, you know, just have me back for a big show when you, when it comes up. Yes. Yeah.

This is good to get my little toes wet. Yeah. It's, it's, it's way, it's way overdue. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, part of it is we're like a little, we've, we're a little scared to have you on because you're a like a guy with a lot of gravity in the podcasting world.

You're also somebody who's, who's employed us at various points. So I think we're kind of like, there's, there's like a status thing there. And to add, we've done a sexual harassing. But you song is fair game. I have no connection to him and me that butthole. But no, but we're, we're very happy to have you on. And, and I know that you've employed us both when we've both done a bad job for you as well.

I don't think so. No, Nick never did a bad job. I certainly had at some point or another. I'm saying about you. You know, I don't think you ever do Nick. We can talk off air. There was a half season I phoned it in, but you think that I was on three and I was on, wait, hold on.

I was on parts of, I think three seasons, chunks of three different seasons, maybe not five, four. Maybe it wasn't on four, but I was on, I was on three for sure. Three and five was for the one with like 40 episodes. I was on for, for a chunk of that worry. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I was on, I was on for, I think it was on for two or three different

stretches of working on comedy, bang, bang in various capacities. You left for, for a minute. I did leave for a minute, more than a minute. Where do you go? I don't, I took another job. I don't know. I just take jobs and people, people tell me I should just do a job and I'm like, all right, and then I, I don't know, and then I do it.

I don't know. I don't have control of my career. I worked on, I don't remember exactly what I was working on, but I moved to something else. I do, I remember. Okay. Scott remembers. So yes, but you've, you've both been model employees.

Oh boy. Thank you. Wow. Which means I make you model clothes for me in my office. We're roughly the same size. Me and you? No. No, come on.

Oh, me and you. Because you doubled for me. I did. I doubled for you for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was season three. That sounds right. Yes.

Because you, you doubled for me in the time travel episode. That's right. When, when mine and Reggie's character were running through previous episodes. Right. So I had to plan that so early in advance that we got you to double me through any episode that we were taping. Yes. We would just have, we would go, Hey, let's get Nick and Reggie to run through

the scene over here. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I did that a lot. And then I also doubled Tony Hawk at one point in a bit. Yes. Which was fun.

And didn't you swallow a really disgusting thing and, and that we made you do it because you wrote it and then we cut it out. And then it got completely cut. What? What? I had a, I had a bit that I wrote for the show where Zach Alafadakis had designed a new condiment. Yes.

That was more popular than mustard. And so everyone was putting it on hot dogs instead of, instead of mustard. But it was like this gray paste. Like looked really disgusting. Yeah. But somehow people loved it. Yeah. And people loved it because it was just great, but it looked very unappetizing.

And then the way the, the art department actually made it is they mixed together chocolate, frosting, and mayonnaise. Oh my God. So it had, it had like, like it looked disgusting. It had an awful flavor. And then I had to eat an entire hot dog. Like I had to do multiple takes of eating an entire hot dog with this on. Wait.

Did you write it though as Zach was going to eat it or I was going to eat it? And then we said, no, no, no, no. Let's just make Nick eat it. I think that's what happened is that you brought me on to eat it in front of everybody. That was, I feel like that's what happened to me on Mr. Show with the taint episode is I wrote it for Bob and Bob didn't want to do it. So he's like, we're going to give you a part. And I'm like, oh, okay.

That's what I have to do. That's a classic sketch. The, so trade off. So you're from, you're from Orange County, California. Yes, sir. A big, a big notoriously conservative area, also a religious area for a time. What was your religious upbringing? It was pretty intense.

Oh, wow. Intensely religious. Really? I didn't know this. Went to church three times a week. Oh my God. Wow. God.

What denomination was this? It was called Baptist, but I don't think it was the traditional Baptist. Right. It was more just Christian, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I was baptized and all that, but yeah, it was a Sunday morning from nine till 1230, and then seven to nine that night. Two services on Sunday.

Two, yeah. Well, Sunday school, then service. Oh, got it. So the morning was split up in two things, and then a night service. Wow. And then a Wednesday night. That's insane. That's a lot.

So it was a lot. My dad was a deacon at the church. My mom, when she retired, she was still the church secretary. Oh, wow. Yeah. So it was a lot of stuff. And where you basically... I gotta say deacon is the coolest sounding position in the church.

It sounds awesome. Deacon... John Deacon from Queen? He's great. So... I like Roger Deacons, the cinematographer. Yes. A lot of very good work.

I like Bishop. I think that's a cool word. Bishop from the X-Men is great. Absolutely. And Bishop in Aliens, the Aliens character. There you go. And let us not forget the famous chess piece. Which can move along a diagonal.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. How could we forget this? Nick is very upset. Oh my gosh. Now he's placing chess piece on the table. He actually has a bishop that he's pushed over as if it's checkmate. That's not the king.

That's just the bishop. Are you a villain? Like, is this your new persona, the bishop? The bishop has arrived. I've got a chess piece by signature, call it guard. That could be your Nick. I mean, I know you're Burger Boy. Yeah.

But you could be the bishop as well. I would love to be the bishop. The bishop. I'm 100% in on being the bishop. Immediately on board. Yeah. I think it works for you considering everything that's happened in the Catholic Church. Oh, right.

Why, what happened to you in the, oh, I don't know this. Oh, he's talking in general about the sex scandal. He's implying in some sort of child predator. That you lured these horny men into, into betraying their vows. Is that what he's trying to say? Okay. I don't know if that's exactly what the new story is. I may have skimmed it.

Yeah. You might want to give that a second read. So, so you're, yeah, this is a, this is a Baptist Church, is this one of those things? Because I know there was a schism in the Baptist Church at one point. Was this Northern Baptist versus Southern Baptist? I don't think that this had that kind of distinction. Oh, okay. It was, it was California Baptist.

Oh, got it. I never, once I started learning about the Baptist Church, it never really seemed like that to me. It just seemed more Presbyterian or something like that. Got it. So maybe it was just more the name of the church. Yeah. That's what it seemed like to me. So is this all the way through basically all the way through high school?

All the way through second year of college. Oh, wow. I started being able to take off the Wednesday nights, like after high school. Right. Yeah. But as long as I was living there, I had to do the Sunday mornings. Damn. That's, yeah.

That's crazy. That's really, that's, we were, we were Sunday and then by the time I got to high school, they, my parents leaned off a little bit. And then after the spotlight stuff, which was, what was that? 2000 or 2000 or 1999 or 2000, I think it's all worked out now. Oh, okay. I don't need to know that. I remember we were at a Christmas Mass and the priest was like, we have to like,

like, we have to pray and protect the priest and the at this, like after the spotlight. Oh, no. They came out and my buddy, my buddy, Micas was there who I've talked to you about. My buddy, Micas, and I don't like and scoop the brothers and scoop. Micas and scoop were there together. Two great dudes. And their dad, their dad, right off the set of west side story. Zip guns, knives, Micas and scoop.

Micas and scoop. Did scoop work for the Boston Globe? Hey, scoops here. What do you got for a scoop? That's literally we say scoop because he's a guy who comes like that's why they call him scoop because he really he tried. He loves to tell people facts. Yeah, like he's like, he's like, I read that and he'll come up with and we're like we'll

say scoops here. That's actually that might be better than the bishop. Yeah, I can't compete with scoop. I've met scoop. Bishop in the scoop. No, the bishop is good. I don't know. His his dad, big Jim, big Jim was like, is there anyone you grew up with that does

not have a nickname? You have a nickname. They all have nick. Give ochre men a full rundown of the Quincy crew. Micas you see Micas, Chankton, Wu Tang, Joey, oh is Micas. Micas is a nickname as well. Micas is a nickname. Okay, Romandy, Frill bot.

So how and and what is the process by which a nickname sticks? Do people try out nicknames and then just one? Yeah, they they they'll try them on for I was. I always just got Mitch or Mitchell or like I told you this Nick. Yeah, bitchel like I would get I would get like nicknames that made fun of me. Kids can be so cruel. They can be very cruel. Yeah, I think I think when they yeah when they stick I feel like that is a I guess that

is a Boston thing. We're just calling people a different name. Sure. Everyone in Boston called a different name because they're going to commit a crime at some point. They don't want to be identified or I think that might be a part of the reason. I think a lot. There's a lot of last name.

Nick like I think just a lot of last name is Micas like based on a last name. Micas is is based on we had Latin class and he named himself Micas. Oh, yeah, yeah, so like when you say yeah, like in Spanish I was Raul because there was no Scott. Oh, there's no Scott. I was I just went Niko loss and Micas and Micas was yeah. It's a made up word. The teacher was mad at him and then we just called him like this forever.

The teacher was mad at him. Yeah, he didn't. He was like that's not that's bad and he told him not to do it. He still did it anyways, but Big Jim was like we're out of like that happened and he was like let's get the fuck out of here and they like left church. Wow, and he said that Jim and then they said that they like never went back as like a family for. Wow, that's crazy.

Such a huge like cultural break from like yeah like that's a that's a huge thing to do, especially if you're religious. Yeah, it was it was. I mean, it was the priest did a terrible. I mean, it was crazy thing to say. That's insane to stick up for the priests. Are your is is like your mom still religious. My mom goes she'll go to mass like my aunt and she another at the Bang Bang show

and in Boston because I know yes. My mom was there and then like that was like my godmother and like people were like family. Yeah, my aunt, my aunt, I all met them afterwards. My auntie Pat. Yeah, that was great. Yeah, my auntie Pat was there already. Oh, no, no, I thought you said my auntie past.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, thank God that'll be such a strange thing to say to you to to be like my auntie past because I met all of them. Yeah, I go by the way since then. Oh, there was four years ago. Yeah, they're all alive. All of them are alive. Auntie Pat was there.

It was a good crew and also Scott. What happened with the birthday boys? You guys were opening for Bang Bang on tour and it was four of you. Yeah. So it was Koalik, it was you, it was Ferguson and it was Hanford. Yeah, yeah. And so. No Calpacas?

No Calpacas wanted to edit. Calpacas wanted to edit. Wow. Yeah. And we were like, come on, it's gonna be fun. And he was like, my commitment to comedy. Hey, everyone. And then Mike's like, well, I guess a better go on.

Um, but, uh, yeah. So you all, you all went on tour with me. We went on tour with you in the Boston show. We did two shows in Boston. Yeah. We did a, we added a matinee. Yes. And, and, and the matinee, my mom and every, a ton of family came out to, uh, and, and, uh,

the birthday boys, the, the warmup show, the tech didn't work. If you remember. Oh no. Yes, I'm remembering it now. And none of the, none of the tech worked and I was like, oh man, they're all here. But then. Oh, that sucked. So by the time your show came around, there was a break in between the shows.

They figured everything out. And then you were, it was a very nice moment. You, you, you had me come up and guest on that show, which was, which was great. Well, I felt nice. Well, I just, I have a lot of empathy for, yeah, I can only imagine they came out in the middle of the day and they wanted to see you. So I was like, made a chop on the show where your character, or you were just yourself. I was just myself.

Yeah. And we just talked to you so that you would have like more of a spotlight. It was great. When I say spotlight moment, I don't mean like the Boston Globe. Let's get the fuck out of your big Jim suddenly. It's like, hey, no, I'm saying, I'm saying Mitch is going to be on the show. You asked me about that scandal a lot. And if I had any part in it and I, I denied.

Yeah, but it was great. It was, it was, it was a very, it was a very nice moment for me. It was a great moment for me. And I was very appreciative for it. And also the Dano was, he came to a show and Dan is a cool. PFT did like a, a Goodwill hunting type. But he was saying, he was saying like Goodwill hunting jokes or something. Oh, that's what he started roasting Goodwill hunting.

And Dano would just love that he was making fun of like Boston people. He was, he was loving it. Yeah. Am I correct also in remembering that this was after, it was the day after New York, and you all went to the SNL after party. That is a hundred percent correct. Literally got on, did not sleep. We didn't sleep at all.

Hanford, like one of us threw up in the train bathroom. It was a terrible. You went from the party to the train station. And the train was like eight a.m. That train was eight. And we, we, we, we nearly missed it. Jesus nearly missed it and would have missed the show and would have missed the show completely as well.

Yeah, was the show as all Hanford was actually the one who was the closest. That's what it was. He was like, he like made the train as the doors were about to close. It's a better get on. What are you doing from California? Screaming. Um, that was a great, that was a great, that was fun. That was a fun tour.

I have to say, you, I mean, you know, you guys are, you know, approximately three decades younger than me. But so I wasn't, you know, really ever joining you out, you know, after the shows, but it was the same thing when Hanman opened for us. Like when we went to England, like him and Gabriel split off. And meanwhile, like me and Paula are just like going to bed by right. I think that's my speed for sure. I think Ferguson also was going to bed.

I think Ferguson called it a night. Hell yeah. He's so boring. I can't even do an impression. Hi, I'm Dave. I think he called it a night pretty early too. Yeah, I can't, I couldn't see you on the, I mean, we don't, we could go on tour more Nick, but you don't like to, you don't like to do it.

I got to, we had some, we had some, look, I think we shouldn't room together. I think that's the thing. Wait, what the hell is that? Because we were on different, we're on different sleep cycles and that created some tension. When did we ever room, when we were in the same room together? We were in the same Airbnb's. I think we need to get like, this is a situation that happened once.

It happened a few times. When I came back to our Airbnb and I talked about Harris for 20 minutes. I don't want to relitigate this now. You've leaned on saying that you were talking about- You don't want to relitigate his death? No, this is what, I don't want to relitigate that for sure. But also this discussion, because you lean on saying- You feel like you had some hand in it?

Oh boy. I have not heard this story. Oh no. It's every episode he talks about this. No, you- Nick, give your Harris theory first. Come on. Jesus Christ.

What is it? This is, this is a complete fabrication. You think Koalic did it? What? God. I got it. I'm extra on cover with this because you know him better. You knew him better than me.

He was much closer. He would like this. He'd be laughing at it. Yeah, but the, what I was going to say is the, you lean on the fact that this was a conversation about Harris to be, to excuse that this was like a lengthy disruption that I don't think is all on you, but it did have to do with you and some other people are staying with. I know getting back to-

Hold on. I do want to talk about this. So you came home after a show. Yes. You were already asleep. I was ready to go to bed right away. You were ready to, oh, so you came back at the same time. Yeah.

Nick, Nick, Nick put his sunglasses on and this is real. I don't know what that means. I've got a, I've got, this is a light therapy helps me go to bed. So about a half hour before he hit the hay, I put on a pair of Ray bands or something. About a half hour before. Yeah. And then just, so I'm just inside wherever we are, wherever I'm staying, but I'm just like, like dampening the light.

So I'm getting, I'm putting myself a night, I do have, I've had a lot of trouble sleeping over there and that's helped a lot. That's helped a huge amount. Seems like maybe that's the issue instead of what I was doing. Hey, well, I couldn't have, no one could have fallen asleep. Rip Van Winkle himself couldn't have catch some Zs with the fiesta going on in the main room. First of all, Rip Van Winkle, first of all, he fell asleep once for a long time. We don't know his trouble sleeping.

I think the rest of the time, I think we can infer that he was a very heavy sleeper. So you think every night he went to sleep, he went to sleep for, you know, decades? Maybe not that duration, but I think you felt he slept pretty hard. Okay. This is not part of the Rip Van Winkle lore that I've heard of. Well, when my extended universe comes out, okay, we're going to learn a lot about crane. Yeah, Rip Van Winkle. Right. And we got the headless horsemen. Yeah. Mr. Toad's in it.

Well, of course the headless horsemen's in this. I said it about Craig. Oh, those are the same guy. Well, it's not the same guy. It's just like they go hand in hand. Oh, do you know I wrote a, I wrote a Rip Van Winkle. They're not the same guy. No, no.

I thought the crane is being chased by them. Oh, I thought that was the twist. No, what? What's the twist? He was chasing himself? And the fat boys are in this universe? Yeah. What?

No, I thought the twist was that Ichabod Crane and the headless horsemen were the same guy. No, no. I think it just ends with the headless horsemen like killing Ichabod Crane. Ichabod Crane is a superstitious and cowardly man. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's kind of a Mitch type. Yeah.

God, I guess you're right. He's right. So wait, so you both came home. Yes. You put on the sunglasses. Mitch decided you have a half hour window before you go to bed. Yeah, as far as I know from what you've said, this is your actual words. Yes.

You're actually wrong, Nick. You came back before me. You came back with Evan Susser. I came back about 30 minutes after you. Okay. So the sunglasses, you were just about ready to take off the sunglasses, putting on a sleep mask? Yeah, probably.

I mean, not a sleep mask per se, but... What do you do? I just close my eyes. Just the eyelids. You mean try the sleep mask? Oh, you mean nature's blinds? No, I've had the sleep mask I feel is awkward for me, because I roll on my side or whatever.

You know, I switched the sleep mask a year ago, I think, and it has done wonders. Wow, maybe I'll try it again. If you find the right one. Do you have a thin one? Because my issue is I had one that was kind of bulky. I had a soft one that I loved that I left in a hotel room or on a plane recently. So then I got home and I was like, oh, I don't have it. And then I realized every time you fly first class, you get one of these like

kits, you know, that have stuff you need. And so I have hundreds of these. Wow. No, but I had a few there that I'd never opened. I was like, oh, yeah, they put a sleep mask in there. And that one's good. It's been fine. The thing I found is you need to have it tight enough on you so it's not just slipping off.

Right. So I tie like little knots in the elastic in order to make it the exact length that I wanted to be. And also, why are you wearing bulky sleep masks? I feel like those are by bulky. It's the one I got at Walgreens. Yeah, I had some hunks on the inside. Oh, you can't get to sleep that way. Oh, there's pictures of hunks and there's little lights inside so you can see them the entire night.

Oh, okay. Yeah, it sounds like you're just wearing a VR glasses kind of the situation. Hey, it kept me up. So, so you're ready to go to bed. Yes. And you you arrive home. I arrive home, by the way, around 1130. Yeah, still I mean this is in the middle of the tour.

It's this is the start of the tour. I was in with two. I came with to home with two other people that I had nothing to do with for real. And then this is why this is why it's hard to relitigate this. I do remember Milwaukee when we were on tour that we went to a bar and you just started you guys all. I don't mean you in particular, but all of you just started talking to people in the bar. Yeah, suddenly we were drinking with like 10 people.

Yes. Yeah, that's just seems to be like what you guys it was. It was it was kind of a similar situation to that. Yeah, and it's it's it's hard to say you were up all night with Mary Minton revelry and I was trying to catch some. Who's that? Mary Minton revelry. She sounds hot. So and you're ready to go to bed.

You're not reading the room. I came in. I went into my room. I talked to Susser about the night. I came out and then there was someone else there watching a movie. And then this is who's watching this movie. It's a whole thing. It's our old engineer, Nick.

Yes, we can leave that out. Longer work with and then and then and then a guest of the sitting Nancy or something like that, right? Something dangerous and a guest of his and a guest of his. The guest of his asked me questions about Harris. I answered them that I went to bed and then every I think the movie that was playing and everything that happened Nick blamed on me the next morning. I think you I think you don't have a great sense of time because you claim something is like 20. It's like when you say like running about five minutes late and then you show up like 15 minutes

late or 25. I talked to her maybe for 15 minutes for real. I did not. I did not say out there that long. It might have been an hour. I'm just saying you haven't you haven't you have a distorted. I can tell you that's not true because you have a distorted sense of time. When you're falling asleep, wow, that's possible. I think out of sleep.

You don't know how many things are going. No, that's possible. Here's here's why I know is because the movie that he played. I didn't like and I left like I didn't want to stay and watch. It was like one of those laugh at the movie situations. Oh, airplane and and a funny movie. Laugh at the movie and I and I talk about comedies. I like like like a god.

I wish I could remember what movie was, but I got out of there. I got out of there quick. Yeah, look that was this is water under the bridge. I'm just saying like this is this is the reason why you don't like the doors. That was it's not just that hotel room. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We'll just get well. We could we could figure out different travel arrangements.

We could we could figure out something else. You could take your helicopter. You could fly your helicopter to wherever we went on tour again with. Gabriel is nothing ever nothing bad ever. Well, that was the main issue there is I was extremely sick, which was unrelated. But I think I had two bad tour experiences. One is that it was when I was I had very very bad sleep throughout that tour.

And the other one I was like deathly ill. Oh, let me let me also after that one night, Nick was so mad. I never stayed up late again on that on that entire tour. Oh, that's no good. But he was still mad at the rest of the tour because you're going on tour. You want to have fun. Yeah, your process is your process. Just get different rooms.

That's all this is. I think that solves it. You just split up right after the show. You know, I mean, you don't even have to like go back to the hotel together. One of you can be like, hey, going back to the hotel. The other one stays out. I love it. This solves everything.

We've never shared a room. It was just it was just one weird circumstance. I don't think it was just the one circumstance. Oh, my God. I think it was a batter. Yeah, you don't even have to travel together. That's the other thing unless it's more economical. This is getting better and better.

I know drive together. But honestly, like, you know, if you just show up at, you know, the venues together, you're you're good. Maybe can wait. Can I just send Mitch and can I Skype in? Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Look, I could take your place, too. OK, there you go.

I can try to go really loud. Date line 1976. Sure. Is that me? Am I loud? Yeah. What? How long have you been doing this show?

This is the first time this has ever. How long? When I say this show, I mean your life. No one's ever told you you're loud. No, I mean, I'm sure people have told me I'm loud and realize it was just like my general. You don't say a lot, but then it almost seems like you're holding everything in and then it comes out in a loud burst or something.

I don't. OK, I do. I'm sorry. No, you don't have anything to apologize for. No, no, I just I had assumed that this is something that we talked about all the time. You're generally a loud, a loud person. Wow. Aren't you?

I guess so. I never did the. Can you speak louder to you in the room? That was the classic. Anytime anyone like didn't know how loud they were. He probably thought you were please speak up. You probably thought you were being serious. I created this.

Imagine how many people you've kept up with your loud voice. OK, come on. Imagine your wife being kept up all night, but your loud voice. How does she? Let me ask you this. You're married, so I'm sure it's good, but how how does how? How's the sleeping arrangements with her and is she similarly like keeping you up separate beds, but is it separate rooms or not?

We sleep in we sleep in one bed, but I have we're on similar. We're in similar similar schedules right now. So that works pretty well because she works early in the morning. I get up early in the morning. But is there a thing where like you're like, oh, you kept me up all night by tossing and turning and she doesn't know if anything because I usually I will usually still go to bed first. And then sometimes I've had I will sometimes have issues with snoring.

And so if anything, the issue is on my end. No, I'm snoring and I'm disrupting her sleep. And she is very patient with me, but that that I know is sometimes as an issue. Oh, the other things I will have. I'll have night terrors. So sometimes you are a disturbed you ranged individual. I mean, I'm on your side about this whole thing. I look we've relitigated it.

Mitch, if you want to sue for damages, I appreciate night terrors. I appreciate this because that I I didn't know this. You scream in the middle. Yeah, sometimes just wake up screaming. And and a lot of times like sometimes it's screaming. Sometimes it's it's like this is more commonly it's like it's like a it's like it's like a total like state of like I'm waking up and and my my my the neurologist I saw told me I was actually having like panic attacks in my sleep.

And so like I'm unconscious and I don't. And so then my body is dreaming about people finding out about the things you've done. That bloodhound is getting awfully close to that flower patch. Oh, no, the detectives have found the basement. No, I is it a flashback to the night that I kept you up on tour. So I'm talking about here. Stop enjoying airplane. I know I I don't I usually don't remember what's happening, but it's some sort of like

terrifying dream that that triggered that response. And then Natalie, my wife has learned that she will just be very soothing. And just that moment she's just kind of like it's okay. It's okay. And just sort of like bring me back to reality because they don't realize for like 30 seconds that I'm that I'm like was between a dream state and a real and a state of reality. I think I've only awakened screaming once and that was on an airplane.

Wow, that was that was really bad in the middle of the day. Right. That's crazy. Did you get like a big reaction? I'm crazy. No, I didn't say you were crazy. So that's a crazy. I meant that's a crazy circumstance.

I went to sleep with my iPod on and I was like, oh, let me listen to some music. And then I fell asleep and then I traced back my steps on the iPod. And I noticed that the song before had a very slow fade out. And then the next song was like a metal song or something that started very hard. And so it went suddenly. I just was lulled into you. I'm asleep. And then suddenly I went.

I opened my eyes and I saw a man looking at me next to me. And it was this person on the airplane. But I didn't know who was. And I thought it was a man who was there to kill me or something. I went. Yeah. And everyone, it was a totally silent airplane. And everyone looked at me.

It was so embarrassing. I was just like, sorry. That dream. And I kind of went like, fuck, what are you going to do? You know, but very embarrassing. Yeah, I have a I have a story where especially in first class. I take out that extra pair of socks right to wipe the perspiration from my brow. I I've flown jet blue mint just recently.

The first time it was nice they give they have a mint cocktail. Oh, that's interesting, which is which is good of a mint julep or it's kind of it's almost like limey. It's like a line. It's kind of like a lime mint flavored thing into division within jet blue where it's better. It's it's their first class now. Basically, wow, the front rows or what is it's like the first five or six rows. Yeah.

And they're basically just like they're they're lay flat seats and stuff. Oh, they do. Yeah. Holy shit. It's great idea. They have that idea. I do jet blue points. That's why I got one from Burbank to New York.

They do. They do LAX to New York, but I don't know about. I don't know about well. I know jet blue did they bank to New York, but they didn't have those types of Oh interesting. Yeah. So like Burbank is that anyway. Sorry.

This is so boring. No way. This is the kind of stuff you talk about, but with food, this is like the most interesting the podcast has ever been. This is riveting by our standards. I woke up. I was gonna say I woke up. Oh, wait, do you have something to say?

I saw Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden and jet blue mint. Please continue. I woke up crying one time. This this will sound silly, but I saw like my will get us back on onto the topic of religion a little bit, but I saw like a heavenly image of my grandma and I woke up crying and then and then look, I don't think anything happened with it, but I remember this. It was my first.

It was my first year. I was living in the Oquah departments and I had a I know you live there. I live there for like the summer semester for it to go. Oh cool. And then there was a kid who was like my roommate and I woke up crying. He's like, are you okay? And I was like, it's not like my grandma is like an angel and then I remembered her phone number from from when I was a boy.

I had never remembered it. So I mean like that's obviously just brain. I didn't call. I I call to call it because it would be I'm still alive or maybe a hot line to heaven. That would be terrifying hot line to heaven is not a bad title. Hot line to heaven is for a song for a TV show. I was I was kind of freaked out by I call my mom and I was like, was grandma's number this? And she said, yeah, and then I was like, oh wow, I didn't remember because she she had died,

you know, like almost 10 years, probably 10 years prior to that 10 years prior. Are you close to her? Yeah, I was close to her. You have to know her number enough to know her number, but I was a little I was a little kid. She gave you the digits. Very cool. It was a big day. I was bragging around the house when I got grandma's digits.

What I got the digits can ask because you mentioned another another relative of yours. You mentioned briefly, yeah, what in the before you get you got to Auntie Pat. Did you say you have an aunt and past? Let's not relitigate this. Auntie Pat is still alive. Right. She's not family. She's but she's not blood related.

All right. She's a family friend who I call Auntie Pat. Yeah, this is a big Boston thing. Lots of godfathers and stuff. I got my godfather, my godmother's family, which they're like family to Auntie Pat's like family. They're still close to a lot of times with godmothers and godfathers. It's like five years later, they're not speaking or something that's my sister had my dad's brother who died of a drug overdose and was like kind of he kind of was messed.

It was a mess up my uncle and then and then my mom's sister who like doesn't. We haven't talked to her forever. So I got like the great. I got I got great godparents and then my aunt Ann has passed away, but she went to church all the like she it's where we're Catholic, but she went to church multiple times a week whenever she could go to church. Oh, wow. She was always like with Catholic.

You're talking about Catholic, right? Yeah, yeah. It's open all the time. Is that it's like a Denny's or whatever. It's I feel like they there's there's masses on certain days of the week and like there's like a Tuesday mass or something like that. I always see it on TV shows like people just like strolling in the church and kneeling down right. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, hey, come on any. We'll take all comers any time you want to come in. I think you can. I think you can just walk in if you if you'd like. Yeah, there's a I feel like that's like a common trope is like the dramatic like kind of the guy who's angry at God going into church like late at night. And then the cool priest coming out going, hey, something I can help you with. Yeah, you've been cursing God, you cocksucker.

Half hour. But yeah, my aunt Ann big into so huge into church. I was going to ask this seems crass now that she's passed. It was like auntie and good. I mean, we we know your grandma is in heaven because of the phone number. The grandma phone numbers. You ever dreamed about auntie on auntie on I decided to go on to you for instead of auntie. Auntie on is she's she's she's lived to like almost a hundred.

She's very old. She's on or is it and on and yeah. On and and yeah. On to you're asking if she's like the pretzel. Auntie Ann is a pretzels chain. I was just like I just I thought that was interesting. She's the one and only whoa. You think that I wouldn't tell you that about my aunt and what you guys do

with her amazing detail to hold back. Oh, by the way, we should review auntie and because that's right. Godmother. She she the only snack she liked was the body of Christ. Yeah, and now she's she's passed. She passed just a year this last year. Rest in peace. Yeah, yeah.

Father's also passed away. Right. My father's passed away. A lot of death going on. Well, yeah, yeah, you'll get there. Don't worry. Don't we know it? So one more thing, but I want to talk about and this is this is who's dead in your family.

You know, it just thankfully just grandparents mostly on the inside in your family. Who am I dead to? I guess is the bigger question. But no, no, I might have. I think the there's a lot of long longevity on both sides of my family. Most of us are still hanging in there. But I want to ask you real quick about a chain restaurant job. I know you had you worked at Marie calendars for a spell.

Yes, I can take you through my food service jobs. If you like. OK, 15 years old, worked at a Christian yogurt shop. Wow. Called the manna station. Oh, my God, which was a friend of the church. My parents coerced them into giving me a job. And I believe I worked there six weeks before I was fired.

Then at 18, I worked at Marie calendars for and I was a host for. It was my first real restaurant job. My friend got me the job and I was a host for six months. And then and then that was my first waiter job. So I think I was there for a year, maybe a year and a half until I was fired because and I've told this story on, I think, freedom. But we would. It was it was a very atypical restaurant job.

And I thought every restaurant job was like this because at this particular restaurant in Whittier, Lucerna, California, after the night was over, the managers would shut down the Marie calendars, which was also a bar. And we would then party until four or five in the morning. Oh, man, like just basically free drinks from the bar. All night. Weirdly, the manager would throw like porn on the big screen.

Oh my God. And then all of the managers were like cooking up with the waitresses and stuff. So it was like and we were all really tight friends. Right. All of the all of the servers were all like really tight. And we hung out every single night there. So sometimes if we weren't working, we would just come by and, you know, party till four in the morning.

So and then the other part of it is they would give us all the extra food, the extra pies. I would come home with like four pies and croissants and cookies and stuff like every day. And I was like, this is what working in a restaurant is. Yeah, that's awesome. So but I got fired because we got a new manager suddenly. And she was there to run a tight ship. And so I was drinking in the bar one day and I had this huge they had a schooner my ties. And that was like I thought every place had this is what a my tie was.

Right. Huge schooner because they served beer in the schooners. But that was so that was my drink of choice. And I was drinking one and I mentioned graduating in 1988. And the manager looked at me funny like this would have been in my file. I don't know why she didn't know how old I was, but she learned I was 19. Suddenly the bartender came over, poured out the drink and said, you're not 21. And I didn't know that.

He knew it, of course. Yes, right. And and then I got fired and the bartender got fired. Wow. Oh man, that's that's crazy. So then I went to a place called Pofolks, which is right across the street from that pirate restaurant. Were you at the pirate restaurant with us ever?

Oh, yeah, the down in Anaheim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was a dinner adventure. Yes, okay. You know it is. Just making sure. So that was across the street from medieval times and pirate dinner. Yes, that was a country themed restaurant that had an electric train running around it.

And I also catered weddings and stuff like that there. And then I moved to Santa Maria, California. I worked at Baker Square, and that's when I learned that you could not take pies home and things. They made you throw away the pies. Wow, that's crazy. That's insane. In like a locked dumpster.

That's so wasteful. Yeah, it is. And then I did some other stuff and then I came back to Orange County and I worked at Olive Garden for six months trying to make enough money to move out of the house because I had moved back in with my parents because I lost everything. And I, so six months after I quit the Olive Garden, went to work at Olive Garden in Glendale for three days and then quit that because it was not a good job. And I was at the, no, no, no.

Then I went to Chin Chin in studio. Oh, yes. Yeah. Did that for two years, I think. Chin Chin. Am I right by the Ralphs there? Yeah. Yeah, oh wow.

And then I did a year or so at a place called Cafe Cordial, which I just learned closed, which is a bummer, in the valley over on Hazeltine and Ventura. And that was my last serving job. So it was a good 10 years straight of waiting. Yeah, that's a lot of food service employment. Yeah, that's, I mean, we should have had you on way earlier. This is great. This is, we also, we were talking about how that, how we, we, we were like, oh,

I wonder if Scott, if the religious theme will work. And then you worked at a legit religious chain. That's great. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man of stations. So I mean, it was, it closed too. I mean, it was a bad business idea and I was a terrible employee.

What was Christian about the yogurt shop? So they, they sold yogurt because yogurt, this is 1985 and yogurt was all the rage. So Penguins yogurt was opening a lot, you know, and suddenly everyone knew that they could make money selling yogurt. So I think that it was this guy's like, oh, here's a business. I'm going to sell yogurt. You know how that the Christian thing like confuses people and they go, yeah,

I can't just open a business. I got to make a Christian, right? You know, it's like, why, you know, like just make a good business and then be a Christian. But no, so, so what was Christian about it was he would sell like greeting cards and, and bibles and shit like that, you know, but then everyone who would come in is just like a person who wanted yogurt. They're not like a Christian, right? So he's not making any money on the like impulse buys or anything.

It's really just like people come in for yogurt and it's not, it wasn't the greatest yogurt in the world. So that's an insane, that's an insane, that's a crazy combo. Yeah. Well, you're to pick up anything else while you go and get yogurt. I used to love when I lived in Santa Maria, California, there were like crazy combo stores that I thought were really funny. And the there was pets and music, which I used to buy my guitar strings at,

but it was like all types of pets, dogs and everything. While you were trying to pick up musical instruments, you know, just dogs barking everywhere. There was video luggage, which was you could rent videos and also buy luggage, which was insane. Right. My favorite was beads and things. And I went in there.

I remember I had the job of with the theater. I was with like putting up posters for for and I'd never been into beads and things. I was like, I wonder what this is. I wonder what the things are. The things were pool tables. Like the highest ticket item, right? Don't you want to put that in your title of your store? So anyone looking for pool tables with like not go,

I don't know where to buy these baby beads and things. We'll take a break way back with word of boys. Welcome back to dough boys. October blessed the month of religious chains with our guest scott ocherman. Nick, I you song and I should apologize to you because we found out from scott story that putting on porno at the end of the night isn't that weird after all. I didn't know it was weird at 18 and now I know it's well. That's how Nick closes dough boys every night as he goes over my TV orders of paper view porno.

Right. I'm old school. I don't believe in this internet junk. Give me an old fashioned porno. You got to order through the menu. You cost me it. It's pretty expensive. I think each one is twenty five dollars.

They are as about a hundred dollars a month. It is like I just wonder what it must just be like old men who don't understand that there's free pornography. Right. Like it must just be like men who are like that's the only way they know up or something could be. Yeah. It's the only way they know how to access it.

It's crazy that market still exists. So scott. Can I say this? I mean we can believe the name but yeah. What about him? He Tom Cruz found out someone told him about laid on the bleep button. Someone told him about internet porn. He's like what do you what do you mean and then they like a famous story.

Yeah, every story. Yeah, he had no idea it existed right, which is I think it was like this was also two thousand like eight or something adorably naive. Yeah, so or perhaps he's sheltered from the outside world. Yeah, I heard I heard a story about Bill Cosby that he like put something in someone's drinks or something. No, that he he on his on on his show the Cosby the CBS show that the writers wrote in a scene where he goes to an ATM and gets some money and he he this is similar to your

story was like told went to the writers and was like you can't just like make up science fiction and make up inventions in these things where there's a real show of real things and they realized he didn't know what an ATM was and that they existed man. That's that that that seems crazy to me to lose that much touch. That much touch. When you think about it like I mean but that's a thing like I would think you would know about an ATM even if you never had to go to one. Yeah, I remember Tim's old boss one of his bosses at the Simpsons.

I won't say who yes that fellow. He he'd like go fill up my car and he'd give him like three hundred dollars. And he would just keep Tim would just keep it right. I think I think he would keep some of it. Three hundred dollars and then Dave would be like yeah. Tim grinning ear to ear with that lantern job is the common man. What is it the the not the common man the the average average man. Yeah, there's there's a there's a there's a computer generated Tim is Tim is

seeing this and there's a computer generated image of the average like man. I think in the U.S. come up because I this was a bang bang writer's right when you found this out. Yes, but it's if you Google the average man. Yeah and do an image Google search. Yeah, it's like a computer generated composite comes up and it looks exactly like Tim Calpacas. It looks like he modeled exactly like him.

I don't I don't know how it was googling the average man. I don't remember. I don't remember the context for it. I don't even remember what the bit was probably boring. As Ferguson was googling it as well. Google the average man. Yeah, it goes to bed. So so we're talking about this week.

We we were talking about two chains that we've covered fairly extensively. Yeah, two chains two chains two chains. Both of which we've covered fairly extensively. So the first of these two chains two chains Chick-fil-A and the second of these two chains two chains in an out burger every time. But these are both the you never said two locations. You couldn't go. You couldn't say anything else franchisee.

I can't like I haven't locked into my head in one way. What if two chains chains changed his name changed? What if he changed three chains if he changed it to two franchisees would people be like to change? I mean he already changed his name didn't he didn't he used to be something else like dirty but I think so yeah it was something like kind of like party but I think I would be shocked that that's what the chains stood for yeah right. It's like really kind of talk to you for a second to change.

No they were individual franchisees individual locations of a larger business. The yeah the the I think he could get away. I mean it's because I remember Snoop Dogg had like that Snoop Lion phase. It was just like pretty brief but it's just like I think he said that was for good too. Yeah and then he a turn liar went back the other direction. But I think you get away with it for a little bit and then go go back to the name everyone knows and loves but so Chick-fil-A is a southern Baptist chain. This is owned by a southern Baptist family in an out burger owned by a Mormon family.

Both family owned both out as Mormon. Yes yeah well and we can't say LDS anymore. You could say LDS. No no no the the head of the church doesn't want anyone to say anymore. Really? Yeah yeah it's I think you have and you he doesn't want you to say Mormon either. Oh. So it's I think you have to say Church of Latter-day Saints.

Church of Latter-day Saints. Oh yeah. So Mormon is some sort of pejorative. That's what yeah and then LDS. And LDS their word people think stands for a long dick second. You know it's like a porn hub keyword research for LDS. Let me just let me watch some LDS here before I go to bed. Whoa that guy is long.

What's up what Harris? Yeah I think you have to say Church of Latter-day Saints because I think it's disrespectful to use any kind of shortening of it now. I was not aware of that. I you know I I knew yeah that's that's good to know. So it's it's it's owned by a family who's a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints. And you know one is they've both expanded actually quite a bit in the then the past 10 years to different states.

But for a long time they were in different regions I should say. But for a long time you know In-N-Out Burger anchored on the on the west coast. Chick-fil-A in the south. Scott had you been to I imagine as someone from OC you've had your share of In-N-Out Burger. What is your experience with Chick-fil-A prior to this? Chick-fil-A prior to tonight I have had twice. Wow okay. The first time was when the one opened up on Sunset and La Brea.

Yes. Am I right about that location? Sounds right. Sunset and Highland I'm sorry. Highland sorry and and when it opened and I don't know if this is still the case but there was always a line yeah a long line around the restaurant. I dropped you so I was aligned to you you jumped out of the car and I went to In-N-Out. Oh isn't the one you guys went to?

Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. Well they're right by each other. They're right next to each other. Right. Where is there another close one? No I mean that makes sense when I just for whatever reason I didn't I didn't

geographically figure out what a Chick-fil-A would be. Yeah I can't think of another one either now. When it opened here in Los Angeles it was a big deal because people were like oh good Chick-fil-A. Right. On the one hand and on the other hand people were saying boycott Chick-fil-A. So I said you know what I'll try it once just to see what the fuss is all is all about because I'm interested in yeah everyone talks about it like it's this amazing experience so I'll try once yeah I tried it remember thinking it was fine or whatever but then adhering to the boycott.

I just wanted to know what it was all about right and then the second time was in I believe Georgia when I was there for a wedding and we all landed and we're like we're all of us it was Kulap myself two other people I think came from the airport and we were so hungry and we were like we have to find something and all we saw was a Chick-fil-A like there was no other and I think this is before satellite on the phone so that was the only place. Right. All right let's just go ahead and get it so those are the two times that's I haven't I haven't had it a bunch I feel like I had it under 10 times and

however many years it's been out here that's probably true for me too although I think I've had it enough to sort of know what it's all about like I feel like I kind of know what to expect with Chick-fil-A and I know I have only had what I had tonight okay all three times oh that's fascinating do they have they have more they do their menu is it's much bigger than in and out's menu I'll say that much they have a bunch of different options they have breakfast they have nuggets I mean it's all chickens it's all you know they don't serve any beef yeah they don't serve any yeah but but it is they do have variations on the chicken sandwich spicy variants ones with lettuce and tomato and cheese that they mix it up a little bit did you what was there a

line tonight you saw or there wasn't much of a line it was like who are you it was like a song came up through Scott's arms to go get to his microphone I think everything came out in like five or six minutes it was really fast you know yeah did you do drive-thru or you went in oh no I just like ordered in person at the counter you were miming something what was that you kind of went no I just ordered in person I think I'm just nervously shaking maybe okay you son knows he's on he's on thin ice we put him on probation last record oh really oh I get it he's gonna he did do like a video game controller thing when he said orders I saw it I just want to make it clear that you didn't order on an app or anything you actually

just use your mouth right yeah I just talked to the person at the counter you just do again you're like I just talked to the person something is really weird going on with you he's pantomimeing a dual shock too he's thinking about playing video games when he gets home oh god we didn't eat food we ate microchips so we thought when we we thought for the purposes of this episode since there's both chains that we've covered at least Mitch and I have covered you guys have covered fairly extensively that we'd we'd sort of just do a head-to-head because these are the two I think when people think of the religious chain restaurants I don't know of any other two religious chain two yeah yeah religious chain we're gonna we're gonna dig into it as the month

progresses there are some we got we got some weird we got some weird we got we got some interesting ones but um that that that fit under this larger umbrella but we figured we just sort of weigh these two head-to-head in there when did the episodes come out like what night uh Thursday nights it's a bad night okay gotta watch up to you at some point gotta watch NBC's must-see lineup what is on must-see lineup these days uh what do I got willing grace willing grace Frasier two for sign or two is that a thing you do yeah uh the Seinfeld Chronicles the right the original pilot title they they rebooted it i think the first four were titled yeah son of cheers yeah son

of cheers son of cheer it's just a mini george went and then they do uh they do the j leno show norm jr all the j leno yeah remember that yeah 10 p.m yeah great they give me a 10 p.m hour attack i could say i can maybe say the start of the kind of the start of the downfall of hollywood in many ways it feels like was uh of hollywood of i feel like i know sorry maybe that's too much it feels like a lot of strange things happened around the j leno j leno show yeah the j leno show going at 10 and everything the whole me too movement is bored for that you're right no you're right though like j leno coined the phrase i believe that me too hashtag me too you're thumping me too hey get in here j well j wants to say me too j leno saw tim callow pack is we're on the writing

staff wow okay that's the job by the way you that you you went to in the middle of the yeah i want to say but you work for j leno yeah work for j leno for a while yeah um the uh leno saw at at handi mark uh j leno saw calpacus eating a big loaf of bread you had a baguette or something he had a baguette and he was like hey you know love red life the bitch something like that and then calpacus was like hey you have my jaw get back here with my jaw oh leno hopped into an antique fire truck and pulled away but yeah you're i go what you're saying it because there was i thought if the j leno show worked that it would have completely changed tv because that was so much cheaper than making

like a procedure or something like that i didn't think it was a bad idea too why not take the shot but yeah i guess was just it was just too much talk i felt like everything collapsed right around them though i feel like things got wonky i also thought that it was a good idea to make eight to nine family hour didn't it wasn't nbc gonna do that for a minute like were they like eight to nine every night was family friendly stuff yeah that's not bad i like that i thought that was okay and then and then you know after nine anything goes yeah that's for that's for mom and dad we should we should adopt that policy the first hour of the show clean as a whistle yes second hour we get to do the swap out you song for someone a little rough around the edges for

the second half already long yeah we'll bring in lang um so uh we figure what we do is we kind of do a head to head of the of the signature items here and just sort of just sort of a designate what what these chains are known for we had a big fight over but we broke it down into three categories we we settled on the categories but first i'll just talk through the menu items we got the chick filet chicken sandwich which is there famous it's the boneless breaded chicken breast served in a toasted butter bun with dill pickle chips versus the double double which is the classic two beef patties two slice of american cheese lettuce tomatoes onions and spread we got no secret menu modifications we just got it as it comes as far as fries chick filet as the

waffle potato fries and now burger just has their their regular fries they're very polarizing fries we got chocolate strawberry and vanilla shakes from both chains and we also got lemonade from both chains so cool refreshing drink oh yeah such a bitter fruit but such a sweet sweet treat when in liquid form yes sir yes sir we agree he's on a rampage to me he took out his bishop again and put it down oh my god the bishop has spoken niggi what was your you you had a three category breakdown yeah so here are the categories we're ultimately going to land on it was it was a funny thing though that you said it wasn't it was a catchy oh no it wasn't it wasn't it like what was it it was like like a god lemonade oh there's what

it is food so we'll judge the food of these places faith will judge how they are as businesses that profess to have some some amount of faith behind their business bottle got it and also lemonade which was mitch's insistence that we're comparing lemonade food faith and lemonade and lemonade or the three categories and lemonade yeah doesn't rhyme isn't catchy isn't fun it wasn't funny no i remembered it fondly for whatever reason but it's because we bickered about it for a while and this is ultimately what we landed on and grandma's phone number two things you're going to remember i do want to make clear that i don't think that an angel visited me i just want people that not so you you think it was just a trick of the i think i think it was a

mind trick yeah yeah but you were thinking about your grandmother yeah you were imagining you have great feelings or and it was i mean that says more than than whether it was real or yeah and i think that's what you're thinking about and i think a crazy testament to the the the i'm even my power of the power of the mind to to be able to pull a number that you had forgotten because of some dream you had i think is kind of crazy i was real mitch because you doubted me now i'm going to hell demon just starts eating her out be honest mitch if if your grandmother is in hell wouldn't you want a demon to eat her out because she would get pleasure from that only if it was like uh just be honest if it was like

little nicky hell i'd be fine with it right she'd be having fun funny kind of a cute front fun approachable demon um did you do an impression of my great grandma as an angel a moment i went for it and it sounded like this ha apparently have a booming voice i am flabbergasted that no one has said that to you i know i can be i didn't know that i was loud as a rule i know i can be loud i honestly i thought when we first started that i know you've been messing with the levels i thought that you had turned him so far down is it something you deal with be honest usually emma's here uh emma's our engineer

oh usually emma's here yeah why are you blocking your face no we're not going to hit you you songs pantomime playing we tennis right now what is going on oh he threw the controller into the tv and broke the tv oh man you gotta use the wrist strap come on you song um so uh so we were where was i oh yeah so so chick full so the chicken sandwich the double double i guess we'll start there um for me this is a this is pretty cut and dry i mean it i think this is just goes down to what you grew up with because for me like i love the double double it's just grow up again southern california you did yeah wait we've talked about yeah we've talked about where uh long beach area yes yeah so i i'm familiar with oc um hey for me i didn't

grow up with either of them yes um and i think i'll go in and out yeah i think the in and out double double is just a better sandwich i mean the chick filet is good but i think like in its category it's it's there's a better chicken there's a clearly better chicken sandwich there which is the wendy spicy chicken oh okay yeah and you guys have covered that we have one right the yes yeah okay okay okay do you know it was we were we were gonna bring this up because one of the things we were going to do for this episode was chick filet versus wendy's nick we got into a big argument about it because wendy's isn't religious in any way which which it although he might have been religious was i think thomas himself was religious i believe yeah but it's not a yeah

where they're trying to eat those for the company yeah look that that was one part of the fight the other fight was the five that was the bigger part of the fight was the categories yeah you want to break it down into five categories and then you wanted faith food and lemonade yeah i thought we could simplify i wanted to be just we'll decide which one is better you wanted five categories that we compromised the three categories and it was a big fight you were very mad about that compromise okay even though susser said it was completely fair susser texted me and said you're a stubborn man that's the truth this susser guy has come up several times anytime you talk about a fight are we sure he's not the problem it could be the instigator

is he like sort of you know trying to divide you guys and conquer i mean it's possible he's maybe playing a long game who's susser's friend more you mitch uh i don't know i don't know i would say i would say i don't know who this gentleman is me i went to his wedding uh yeah i didn't go to his wedding were you invited to his wedding no but i didn't know him as well then it's you but yeah he's a evan susser is a good friend of the show he's a frequent guest on the show and he uh sometimes advises us in kind of a conciliary role yeah do you need that uh we kind of do actually okay great yeah because when just me and mitch talk it gets very it gets very heated well you have very strong personalities right yeah not like strongly interesting but

they're strong but yeah i can see you guys like not neither of you want to back down right yeah it was it was so there needs to be a tiebreaker and he he kind of put look it ended it ended on a nice no we figured it out by the way he texts me shit talking to you all the time we figured it out i'm trying to get past this we got we i'm excited about this these three three categories yeah and but i want to say i think both of us want to say yes that we said we talk about on the show we think the one these spicy chicken sandwich is much better than the chick flay spicy chicken sandwich it is by a long yes absolutely we got a lot of crap for a people and that because people don't agree with you because people don't agree with us and and i stand by

i've had both i've had both of them yes i've had i've had that spicy chicken sandwich enough i told you i've had it maybe 10 times or whatever and every time i go there are you normally get the spicy chicken sandwich yes it's just the one these is better it's a better it's better i agree i prefer i want i wish i was tasting it if you guys are gonna talk about it so you're gonna bring now he's gonna bring this up later and say we should have done one these versus versus chick filet no i'm not it's fine i think it makes more sense because this makes no i like i wish you had never brought it up is what i'm saying this makes sense and you're wrong okay so i that's interesting about the wendy's sandwich being good but i i will say that this is probably the time

that i've enjoyed chick filet the most wow the three and it's because of that little something that i didn't know about which is putting sauce on it that chick filet sauce goes a long way and that chick filet sauce is delicious what is the chick filet sauce because it looks like cheddar cheese or like nacho cheese or something in consistency yeah it's it's more in color it almost tastes like a mix between like is it like that the chocolate thing in mayo it's a new condiment it's also by the way you love mayo did you really hate doing that it tasted disgusting mixed with chocolate frosting it's an insane combo of flavors yeah but just to drink that much mayo would be because it was like a milkshake thing full yeah they really threw it on there yeah but the

chick filet sauce according to the business insider this is just the first thing i googled a blend of honey mustard barbecue and ranch sauce that's what i that's what i thought honey mustard barbecue and red that's good that sounds that sounds insane but it's good it works yeah it was really and it made it made the sandwich for me i think i must have had it dry the previous two times yeah both were in the car so i can imagine i just would have like opened it up and ate it right and said what's the fuss about right yeah but and then you you also alerted me to the fact that there's like eight different sauces that they give you they have so many sauces there and and i think that's that is a definite strength of chick filet they have a lot of sauces they'll give you a lot of them

the cups are good for dip and they they just give them to you they don't say which one do you want no you can ask for as many as you want yeah i mean i think i think probably within reason they might cut you off at some point but in general they'll they'll give you a lot of sauces if you want this sounds like an episode at what point do they cut you off and you do it one by one right may i have one more may i have one more and just see what they go look at the fuck out of our four our four minute long episode well i have to say that that that was a good chicken sandwich to me i'm intrigued it is good the wendy's thing it's uh i i do want to say i had the best fried chicken i'd menu item i've had in decades wow and i want to give a shout out to this is what i was looking

at oh all right yeah um cool up and i went to santa barbara for a weekend recently and we went to a breakfast place called the shop kitchen in santa barbara and we had a menu item by the name of yolo which is obnoxious admittedly uh but yolo is shop sausage gravy which is like a white sausage gravy right on top of a uh it's biscuits and gravy basically right so it's a biscuit a fried egg and then a buttermilk fried chicken on top and the chicken was the most delicious chicken i'd had in a long time fried chicken and with sausage gravy on it oh my god sounds amazing it was amazing so uh if you if you go up to santa barbara like take a little trip over there it was it was really really really good we should take separate trips up there to be a delight don't take susser sleep

in separate rooms me and mitch will drive separately and hey we'll relive the uh the places they visit in sideways sure enjoy some pino noirs and some cab fronks oh god if you guys did a whole sideways summer where you just did wineries oh imagine the people unsubscribe now you're miming it um so i i have to say i really enjoyed that chicken sandwich for the first time out of the three times wow that said the double double is so good i gotta give it to the double double yeah the double the here i'll i'll be critical here here's i have two thoughts uh only two thoughts one is the mic mitchell story i have two thoughts and one's coming one thing is la has got has has uh has been over over flooded with these chicken fried chicken

sandwich places i went to one just the other night dave's chicken sure there's really i don't know this this this this became like the thing after burgers it became like fried fried chicken right nick you would right after the gastro burger people were trying to elevate the chicken sand the fried chicken sandwich went up a bunch of places i think it took away where in and out is is just a different i think it kind of took away from chic filet being on highland in sunset right sure i mean like it doesn't feel special anymore when you can get a better are they better other places oh yeah the dave the dave's chicken and in the place down in what's the place in china town that's the howlin raise is great right but you're kind of you're

kind of also talking about i mean this is the kind of thing it was just kind of like complete comparing a gastro pub burger to in and out is like it's a different price point it's a different context convenience level yes yeah absolutely it just takes away a little the magic in the that sandwich by itself is kind of plain if you don't dip a sauce on it it's good it's not a bad it's a very very good sandwich but i agree with scott here is that why don't they they should put that signature sauce on or something right shouldn't it just come that way i don't understand why i say the fault it must just be tradition probably the purists would would lose their minds hearing us say this but i think all i ever heard about that sandwich was it's the most delicious chicken

sandwich and it is juicier juicier than your typical like fried chicken sandwich you know mcdonald's or what have you but without that sauce it's kind of nothing yeah i guess maybe that the criticism that some would have from the other side as far as in and out is concerned and i also prefer the double double to the uh to the chick fil a sandwich if i haven't made that already or or if my prior biases haven't made that that position obvious uh but i i think like you know in the same way that that in and out is best if you do some secret menu modifications and if you're you're a you're a neo fight you might just go in there and and have it as the default in in this in its default state and it's still good i prefer the default state oh you really you don't

you know like animal style or anything animal style is fine but when i go i like a nice four by four oh interesting yeah a lot of meat on there yeah but you know i don't have to order two or like half right through go oh i wish i'd had but one more burger right let's get a four by four you're good i like the idea of a four by four also because the the one complaint i was going to say and i think it's fair nick i know you won't like this but they're with the with the lettuce on that in on the double double in the tomato there's a lot of veggie yes that goes on right is slightly the preponderance to vegetables is a little higher than you want it yes the there's there's a little too much there's a little too much lettuce in there i think it's kind of like an old school burger

construction philosophy you get like the bobs big boy like that old school burgers the same sort of thing just a big old hunk of iceberg on there to take up most of its uh most of its mass the fries i will say i uh this is a thing because people are so i like in and out fries but i completely get why people don't like in and out fries i think and i think part of this was that that we were dealing with you know the issues you guys valiantly went to two different places before the record um to pick up these these fries but i think is crying just i'm just impressed by the sacrifice that these guys made for the sake of this podcast it was a crazy scott when i got here you i think you were like is something wrong with you because i it was a

crazy it was a very we left uh the my house at about six ten by the way did you move your car just leave it in the street no i left it i put it down below for god sakes mitch pulled up and he pulled up you put his got out he put his blankers on and left the car running and then got out and like opened up his apartment this car just in the middle of the street i sat out there for hours i was bringing the food in the house i just and then i was going to put the card back down immediately after i just would never think to make that move you son get my back here yeah oh god that's what happened i had your back before remember what way i brought i brought the car right but it was the journey was the journey there was you song you

can speak to this it was an insane journey yeah it's pretty hectic we were we were you song and i were kind of heroes in many ways you song yeah it was pretty easy to cut the i'm out yeah it was hard it was it was it was a crazy time to get it and i will say what are you talking about it was it was there was a there was a lot of traffic it was a crazy drive traffic is that all you're saying the traffic was crazy had to take a left turn into oh fucking that's not no one's going to care it was it was crazy though you like you're a you're a right turn guy you like only make right turns right turns are easier than left turns and you know what they tell you if you ever thank god by the police uh-huh and you have

think you've lost them make a left turn because when the police are chasing you and they and and they're out of fork in the road they will assume you've made a right turn that's fascinating that's good that's good to know nick good for you especially especially with these night terrors you i'm not gonna flee the police jump into a car one day now where are you going like i'm getting the fuck out of here no i'm not going to lead the police in a high-speed chase fire like leno no if i remember in that scenario i'm going to jump on my opportunity to suicide by cop the fries didn't travel well it's my also i want to say that dipping sauce i knew that there was a honey mustard and sweet and sour in there i'm sorry yeah

honey mustard and sweet and sour but i didn't in a pollination and then i but i didn't i didn't get the rent i didn't know that the ranch was the last ingredient and that sauce is great yes i see in the in the chick in the chick and it's great to dip your fries in those sauces it's it's i i go with the i go with the chick filet fries to i look i give the in and i'll fry is a hard time but they're still they're they're fine they're good i like i like them when they're a little i like some of the soggy ones too they're good chris and they're good little soggy i like them soggy yeah i wow i i'm torn here because the that was those were the worst in and out fries i've ever had yeah uh yeah they were all crisp for some reason and all dry and brittle and they've got cold within

15 like the 15 yeah i don't and usually i don't know what it is like did you leave the bags open you got it like that's the thing about in and out you got to close you got to do a roll on those bags you saw you saw this they were wrapped up tight they were wrapped up they were wrapped up tight we actually got we actually got the in and out miming now you're doing like christmas present wrapping insane um so it was there no heat was uh escaping no he was escaping we actually put the john hodgeman gave us a yeti bag we put we put the food in a yeti bag uh it just uh what would i don't know what yeah i don't know what happened it was very it's very bizarre i've never had the fries like that yeah yep and then you know the the chick-fil-a fries didn't travel well either

but i love in and out fries i like them soggy usually and i i actually think they're they're great and i crave them sometimes but on this night if we're going head to head yeah i have to go chick-fil-a yeah i think it's pretty cut and dry um and then we had the shakes so we got it we got one each of chocolate strawberry and vanilla and then it was dealer's choice which flavor you're going to go sound off for what you are chocolate vanilla strawberry yeah that guy's cool let us know your shake flavor of of choice hashtag shake it up yeah um so i i'm a vanilla shake guy but these are really good strawberry i took the villian no this is great a vanilla is a great me first choice yeah school yard pick

nick and i decided before you didn't know this we had a we another fight we had we had we had i knew it we had a behind the scenes thing where i said well let scott pick the shake he wants i'm a chocolate guy he's a vanilla guy we thought we figured to be one of those two i think strawberry seems to be the last choice for everybody why is it like strawberry why and why do people provide it if it is the last choice that's a good point i don't know who who picks strawberry shakes yeah i think some people will hashtag shake it shake it up we'll see at the same time if it was a mint shake like the the you know the mcdonald's one yes shamrock shake shamrock shake i would pick it every time yeah i would go over that way before strawberry for me what is it about strawberry

shake it seems disgusting to me how was yours i like it sometimes here's what i'll say it's it this is two there are two different very different schools of thought in terms of how to do a strawberry shake the in and out is the classic artificial neapolitan from the box uh ice cream just world up it's that artificial strawberry flavor uh that you that you know and perhaps have a you know a taste for if you grew up with it the chick filet is much more of a a sort of fresher you're tasting more straw actual strawberry in it even though i think it's still just like a strawberry ice cream but it just tastes fresher and more um and less artificial for for lack of a better term plus the chick filet one has whipped topping on top and i'm a big whipped topping fan

so i like that i think if the if i maybe had a different flavor i might have judged in a different way but judging strawberry versus strawberry for me two different very very different approaches but i think the chick filet is a better execution whoa what about you guys hey i'm gonna go with the chick filet chocolate shake too whoa yeah i i i i i like the in and out chocolate shake i like i like all their shakes i i do like i enjoy their shakes the chick filet one though just tastes like such a hand scooped it tastes like a real ice cream shop shake to me yes hand scoop yes absolutely i just is it hand scooped i i would guess so you saw did you see any scooping uh i didn't see any but yeah i think it's just from the machine but i'm not sure mitch can you text scoop

see if he knows this is right in his wheelhouse he actually might know you might know i um had a very different experience i had the vanilla and look i'm a vanilla guy me too you know i i i i think that i thought it was boring when i was a kid and so i never really had it and then at a certain point when i was 18 or 19 someone said to me like vanilla is really good and i re approached it and it's just great it's a flavor people it's not plain it's not it's not no unflavored it's a flavor that's what i used to think maybe because of vanilla wafers or something which now i like it's wonderful vanilla is wonderful this was in a landslide for me this is in and out i mean wow that's chic i i first tried the in and out uh vanilla shake and i was like oh great vanilla

shake i tried the chick filet right after it it tasted it tasted like a machine it tasted very artificial to me it had a strange aftertaste i returned to the in and out shake and it had a nice malt flavor uh it's not quite a malt but it but it had some nice hints of that which you don't really get in fast food shakes um and it just tastes and i know like in and out uses real ice cream in their shakes yeah um it just tasted it was the obvious winner to me so i'm quite interested in you guys's shakes just to see if there if if it happens to be a difference because of the flavor yeah i i don't know i will say i think you know the shake i get most commonly from in and out is the vanilla shake i think in and out does a dynamite vanilla shake i mean i think

it's just i think it's a really good that it could just be a flavor thing but i think there's there's definitely a tangible difference in in freshness between strawberries in it tastes closer to real strawberries it tastes more like a like a briars strawberry ice cream like something that you know has actual chunks of strawberry versus something that's just like dyed and has some sort of flavoring yeah um well uh that brings us to the lemonade a new category yes so wait i'm not at faith yet we're we're not at faith no we're talking through all the food the last two the last two are short though we hold off on lemonade uh no let's no let's talk about i think lemonade is good because we'll give a ranking separately um i think

here's the thing oh wow part of the reason we got into a little bit of a fracas about this is because i said and i maintain that in and out does not have like a signature lemonade whereas Chick-fil-A they're they have a big thing of like we have a house made lemonade it's like well also it's a southern chain it's a southern chain and lemonade is very important in this house yes in and out just has like a regular like pink lemonade that they have a lot of changes they're not they don't aren't known for their lemonade you and susser both saying that in and out has a signature lemonade which i disagree with i don't think it's true you don't think that that pink lemonade going through that machine there is it's an in and out staple it's like judging

their iced tea it's just like a thing they have it's not judging their Pepsi judging exactly yeah it's not like i think that they're i think that they're i think that they're i think they're lemonade is i they got the iconic pink lemonade that's going through the machine i i feel like everyone feels that look i'll indulge this because we've agreed on these terms and i will say the in and out one is again kind of this artificial pink lemonade it's like a schoolyard lemonade the chick-fil-a one looks like it has a little bit of pulp in it strangely yeah hmm i don't know why yeah i don't know i'm almost sure that is that it that it's that it's the in and out made lemonade like i think they'd make it themselves okay well and it's in any event it's

this is a weird you're a you're a so-cow boy i don't think of it as like an in and out staple i think of them they're they're getting a fountain drink or a shake there i don't think of specifically lemonade being in and out thing but i think the chick-fil-a lemonade is again it's fresher it's it's made in-house it's it's clearly just a better lemonade that in and out one tastes tastes a little bit more artificial i i have to give the nod to chick-fil-a if i be honest i give the nod to chick-fil-a as well i'll say this it is very sweet and the in and out one isn't as sweet but the the chick-fil-a one is just a better it just is a better product better product i have not had lemonade at either of these places i have never had the lemonade at

in and out as many times as i've been there it may be because i'm not generally a lemonade drinker really uh the chick-fil-a lemonade is very tangy it's a little bit sour but not unpleasantly so meanwhile the in and out lemonade is garbage and doesn't even taste like a drink so it goes to chick-fil-a for me yeah i mean that's pretty easy um all right well let's get to our let's get to our final thoughts and and come to a decision here so i think mitch i think this is how this will work let me know if you have any objections to this we'll each go around sort of give our closing argument as we would if we're reviewing a normal chain and then you get your thought on the faith of it give your rankings in the categories from zero to five angel pitch forks

in the categories of food faith and lemonade is that work does that work for you yeah but i think you have to say what you think about the faith as well because yes i agree are we doing it in the context of a competition between them or you're just doing it on a ranking yeah do it on do it does that make sense giving each of them yeah giving each of them their own their own ranking versus each other because that makes sense uh each other yeah okay uh scott we will begin with you okay in the category of food we're talking the the signature sandwich and we're talking the fries yes am i correct and the shake and the shake the shake is part of everything that's not lemonade okay um i know that that i have given uh the winning uh the winning head-to-head

battle uh two out of three times to chick filet both in fries and in no and and shake and shake oh no no i gave it i gave it to you no okay yeah so just in the fries so uh as far as as for me as far as chick filet this is definitely the time i've enjoyed it more i the the chicken sandwich while good does not compare to the chicken i had at that other place in santa barba but it shouldn't because it's two different price right um that said i don't think i'm ever gonna go to a fast food place just for a chicken sandwich this is the whole problem with chick filet if i happen to go to a fast food place which is maybe at this point a once a month thing right i'm gonna get a burger and it's gonna be it in and out usually so for chick filet uh the limitations of the menu

are are a problem for me uh it's do it's it's great in a pinch and i enjoyed it so that is why i'm going to give chick filet um do we give half stars or do yeah yeah two and a half stars all right meanwhile two and a half angel pitch for angel pitch forks i'm so sorry because it's a yes got it now as for in and out um in and out to me was not something that i grew up with i don't think that that we had it uh until i was probably in my 20s uh or at least one around me but i grew to love it in my 20s and i'm in my 40s now and i continue to have it as a treat once in a while perhaps 12 times a year um sometimes i would go to you know in the valley there's there's the in and out on ventura right next to a carls jr yes and i would go to carls

jr intentionally because of they would have more of the accoutrement on the sandwiches such as bacon or you know like or avocado or the spicy sauce or whatever i would go you know what i just i feel like having something different not just a burger with cheese and i would always be disappointed because something about in and out the the the style that they have of how they make it it's so fresh it's so quick the employees are friendly uh i give in and out burger five angel pitchfork wow yeah i make sense all right so and then this is and this is the category of food yes and then the category of faith back to me as well yeah should we what do you think let's or should we go around i mean i think that was i think i think he gave a nice oh that could

that get encompasses everything you're kind of your total ranking of it well that no that was for food okay so yeah so yeah go go into faith well let me go to the lemonade yes please so we haven't talked about faith at all right i need to formulate that right for lemonade chick filet it's a good lemonade it's it's tangy it tastes like lemonade i've had a large one here it's a little much yeah you asked me if i wanted water after i'd had a few sips of lemonade and i was like oh this will do for me uh my my throat is kind of puckering up and i feel like it's just been like how can anyone drink such a large cup of this lemonade right it's nice for a bit but uh as far as lemonade's go it's not it's certainly not refreshing um you son gets kind of water

that's what i'm trying to hint at stop pretending to play game cube and get him a water um i have to give chick filet in terms of lemonade two and a half stars in and out gets half a half a angel pitchfork i'm so sorry that i'm not on no it's okay it's okay it was just the regular forks i could do it why why isn't it halos or something what why because he wants to keep it in the forks yeah the forks but i didn't want to make it a devil pitchforks because you get scared so it's an angel pick for pitchfork yeah like a good yeah thank you you song like you get like they're they're uh they're fallen angels who get unfallen but they stole their pitchfork from hell oh okay i still want to eat out your grandma but they just think about they just

fantasize it about it and feel shame as far as lemonade goes did i did i give in and out its score yeah you did half half a half a pitch for half a pitchfork half a pitchfork that's i think that's a right a good score i think that's thank you very much now when it comes to faith we have two very different uh expectations with these restaurants i believe in how they should use their faith right and how they should evangelize regarding uh what are very strong beliefs that the owners and proprietors of the companies have regarding um their their beliefs you have on the one hand you have in and out who is made fun of legitimately for putting bible verses on the bottom of their cups the um and people talk about in and out sometimes as if it's

a cult almost like Scientology of like well you know they're all Christians have you ever at the bottom of the cup or whatever yeah that said it's on the bottom of the cup and if it is a cult something's working there because the employees are very very friendly yeah do a great job meanwhile Chick-fil-A they use their faith to support uh you know horrible horrible causes their yeah i'm not sure if it's their current owner but their former owner at the very least came out and was a very vocal opponent of human rights issues uh i i think they are using their faith in an obnoxious way yeah of saying you know not only do i am i of this faith but you have to be i'm gonna make your life shit if you're not right whereas in and out is sort of like hey guys

it's like we're christian maybe it's cool to be christian like check this out if you right so as far as faith goes um for in and out um i think they do an excellent job of keeping the faith while not being terribly obnoxious about it five pitchforks wow in terms of faith as far as Chick-fil-A goes i have to give half a pitchfork wow it's uh they're they're they're bad and they should be uh boycotted as i have been until tonight wow i i couldn't i couldn't i couldn't say the the religious breakdown i couldn't say it better myself i i in and out got a lot of flak recently for donating to uh the republican party yes but was it the was it the owners or was it the business uh i don't nick that's a good question i believe it was a corporate donation made to the

local republican part but here's here's here's here's here's here's what nick and i know is that every fast food or nearly every fast food chain is problematic in this way it's right it is it's it's bad i mean like from carl karcher yes carls carl and and uh because carls is one of the is one of the more religious chains we even talked about maybe doing um which is funny because there's so many of their commercials are kind of like like sexy so ribald and body but a lot of that is because of andy puzzer their former piece of shit ceo who is such a monster he couldn't get even get confirmed as a trumpet pointy chic fillet really loses this battle with the with the faith because of the the the whole scandal with with gay rights and and

and every the way they reacted with all that stuff and it was it was bad and and and they came back they you know they apologized and they they didn't they they took away some donations at the ever right they they kind of pulled back some of donations that they were making to kind of some anti gay the blowback affected chic fillet and they they they're certain things that they've been at least less publicly advocating for yeah but but the same like scott sky was saying just a bad that's bad bad faith and also sure in and out wears on sleeve sure it is what it is but it seems like they don't discriminate who they hire it seems like it's pretty open place i'm fine with the little thing being on the bottom of the cup they do a good job they pay their

employees really well we know this nick did i think it wins the faith in the landslide i'm going to go five to zero pitch for wow and look it obviously still has issues a five being in this in this match up here well sure yeah five yes like you know we don't agree with what they're doing but at the same time i i guess i i i did hear that about the in and out thing but for some reason i thought it was just the owners giving a personal donation which honestly like if people like if people have different value systems than me sometimes i think it's okay it's just like whatever it is you know yeah like if you're a Scientologist great yeah you know what i mean i don't know is this making you happy yeah and and and and in this world too especially i

we just know that there's no there is no person though is there any chain really that that that is on the that they're all they're all shitty they all they all make horrendous donations here's the article i found in cnbc was it that in and out burger made a can in and out burger the business made a contribution to twenty five thousand dollars to the california republican party dated august 28 here's my birthday wow it was in your name what an insult wow here's what i don't like is i don't like businesses making donations right yeah that are that are like sort of have have a clear divide on half not even half but like you know because that whole thing that they say about like you know sometimes people write to me and go like half your audience

is republican right no they're like not even half the country is right they've gotten they figured out how to gerrymander the vote yeah to where it's like you know it's like a third or whatever the people are republican but i don't i just don't i don't know why a company would do that why would you donate it seems like it seems is pretty bad pr especially for a company that's so anchored in california which has famously liberal politics at least now um yeah it's it seems a little tone deaf that we that they do that hey two christian chains i think god or whatever christian chains i think that god would be more accepting and in it and in chick filet was not accepting at one right and in and out has never had that issue so they they they win this battle for me yeah

the food guess what in and out also wins even though it is a lot closer i think it's going to be four and a half pitch forks to and this isn't my fork rating in the this is i'm doing today you know what four pitch forks today tonight for in and out to three and a half because i still like to check yeah i think the fries one i thought the shake one and then i but then i thought just the double double is better pull back on the lettuce but that the chick and but the chicken sandwich from chick filet it's good it is very good it's just it isn't as good as the double double yes it's not in my mind a lot of people be mad at us finally the lemonade chick filet wins this five to zero i mean five to five to half a fork five pitch forks to one to half a fork

to in and out half a fork the lemonade it it just proves that chick filet does have good products there's good stuff there yeah there's a there's a pretty large gap there um i'll speed through mine food i i'm much more of an in and out partisan but these are both excellent chains chick filet certainly surpasses in and out in certain subcategories however i think overall is a meal i'd much rather eat in and out in and out is a five five pitch fork the platinum plate club chain for me chick filet four pitch forks so it's right up there in terms of food i really like to fill a lot um faith i mean for me i just think of the shake the shake cups you talked about they're being viable verses on the bottom of the in and out cup proverbs three five

what is proverbs three five proverbs three five reads trust in the lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight oh it's a nice message is it i don't know that those kind of a strange one rely on your own insight all right maybe it's a little weird that's the new revised standard version there might be some different translations uh but i don't believe your eyes in here but it's a subtle little it's a subtle little message tucked away you have to seek it out you have to think about what it means uh the the the shake cup for the i'm sorry the the the the lemonade cup for the what where i'm fucking turned around chick filet yes the chick filet yes i wasn't talking about lemonade i'm talking about faith the the shake up for chick filet is made a styrofoam

wow what's that doing to mother earth that's not acting it in a faithful way that's that's a that's ruining god's creation the most important religion of all shortcut gaya is it called look i honor what the lord created right honor honor god's domain or whatever creates styrofoam that man did right that's an abomination after eve bit the apple fucking bitch whoa okay so yeah i i think that i think definitely and you know both these chains that they have some they both treat their employees well so it it seems like they're they're at least handling that side of things well so yeah i i admire that for both chains but yeah i think it now takes this i'll give this i got i got oh i was gonna say i got john three sixteen on the bottom

of my cup i was gonna ask you what that what that meant that's for god so love the world he gave his only begotten son whosoever shall believe it than him should not perish but have everlasting life wow we all want it you know john three seventeen is what's that psyche i'm so yeah i'll give i'll give four forks for in an out burger i'll give i want to ding i got a dingham a fork for that donation to the yeah go ahead yeah that's fine i'll dingham so for and i'll give one and a half forks to chick filet one and a half yeah one and a half because they treat their employees well and because i do think closing on sundays is a tangible thing they're taking their clothes on sunday clothes on sundays which takes away from their business and that is like like okay we are

actually putting our money around this yeah um uh uh lemonade five whatever i don't give a shit about lemonade but it's it's four and a half forks for chick filet and one fork for in an out burger all right but yeah but there we are you tough but fair yeah and now who is the winner nick of of of your i mean it's it's clear but i mean i do we all have the same winner i think we're all going within and out here in and out i think on all counts but lemonade yeah but look you know liya as a total you got to give it to in and out just don't order the lemonade yeah you know have a shake so in and out ascends to heaven chick filet descends to hell i guess with my grandmother eaten out by a demon oh boy dear god she's down there it's like you're it's a great

place now she's got a chick filet so yeah well those are very confusing review of chick filet versus in and out burger it's time for a new segment we must confess our food sins this is concessional so scott mitch we are each going to take turns confessing some deeply held food secrets i will go first did you did you download that on itunes or something what is what is that that's a song of the faith from final fantasy 10 oh my god it sounds very holy it's in a holy place within the context of the game i do i'm ashamed um all right deeply held food secrets i'll go first here's mine i like macaroni salad better than potato salad what the fuck i know a lot of people are like

potato salad is great but i think a good macaroni salad takes a potato and i think they're better potato preparations than potato salad even though i like potato salad is there any difference in terms of the i don't want to call it sauce because it's really just male basically a male yeah but is there any difference in it seems to me like a macaroni salad here's my issue with macaroni yeah the when you put in a potato salad something about the way the mayo sticks to the potato it seems like a complete dish sure whereas the macaroni salad seems like mayo just slopping off the side of a slippery macaroni is like i'll take a bite and it'll be like bear macaroni and then just a big congealed pile of mayo down yeah and that may be good for you yeah i kind of like it night

terror about potato salad we found out yeah no i i i get what you're saying and you know sometimes i think macaroni salad has a smaller range of possibilities and and you do often see it in that form whereas potato salad you see german potato salad you'll see it made with a with some dill you'll see it made with some mustard i've had spicy variants there's there's a little bit more variants there but i like i just i just like the max salad and i kind of like the mayo the mayo we character of it um all right whoever whoever is ready go ahead and confess your food secret oh boy uh forgive me father for i have sinned sometimes after i have finished a salad and there's leftover dressing i drink it like like you tip the salad bowl and the little the

little cup of dressing oh you drink the cup of dressing if it's left over i'll drink some of it especially if it's it's like a vinegary based one now you don't mean like you'll stick your finger in there and take a little taste you'll actually drink it you'll just like take a full chug i'll take a chug and also i'll do if i'll stick my finger in there and i'll get every bit of the dressing i like dressing uh i like the like this i don't do this with a ranch or a thicker dressing yeah if it's a thinner yeah vinegar dressing i i i it's almost like a nice like cocktail yes yeah in a way yeah it's not yeah i remember once i was at a place when i was 18 or 19 by my college that we would all hang out with and the the old the kindly old man who

ran it this was off it was his pizza place and he obviously you know wasn't a chain it was yeah his place he let me run up a tab of like a hundred and fifty dollars and i think i never paid him back for it but he we would come in they're so broke and we were there all the time and he would just bring us food you know and like say pay for it later or whatever he put something down in front of me and i thought it was soup and i picked up the thing i took a huge swig and all my friends made fun of this what i said for years that it was just like it's dressing yeah it was so disgusting so i i'm not with you on this yeah yeah i i i think that i'm gonna lose a lot of people and then i think that there'll be some people who were really into this there'll

be some people on your side yeah i think i think some people like it my other confession is that i like catch up with my scrambled eggs which i think isn't which isn't too crazy yeah i don't think that's too crazy some people would do that yeah my dad did that and then my last one is that i spent eighteen dollars and forty five cents on a taco bell order recently and and eight for you and for me and eight the whole thing wow anyways was it were expensive menu items or was yeah i mean it was only like five items food items okay but uh i mean that's still a lot obviously but but five items that were kind of a couple of them were pricier you just laid it all out there yeah dump three or though is it is how much do you spend usually

ten is ten standard usually around i usually around ten but i but i do do the because at taco bell you could you can do cheap if you want to right because i remember del taco even into my like almost into my forties when i was really broke like in in being like you know this guys like working in show business like especially as a writer people will hold on to your checks forever yeah these don't want to pay you right and so it would be years sometimes when they would finally like pay me stuff so there would be really lean months yeah so i used to go to the 99 cent like yeah del taco burrito and i would be able to eat there for approximately three dollars right and this is like you know deep you know like deep into the 2008 you know what i mean so

just like there were some months where it was just like i don't have any cash on me yeah so yeah that's so i'm spending a lot and they are like the menu items that are like two or three dollars but then those are also more filling so i'm it was a lot of food eighteen dollars and forty five cents yeah it was it was too much the price has gone up over there but it was i mean it was a bad night right hey that's why i was that's why i confessed it yeah no is that my judgment here no judgment here am i forgiven at all or i don't i i don't think i can forgive you oh go back to taco bell and ask the guy the one yes the shift manager okay i uh i while you guys were talking i thought of one which was i was playing poker with some friends i used to have a weekly poker game

very cool and really yeah um i mean it was john ham and paul rudd wow how i got to know all those guys yeah but um i was i was playing with jimmy parto once and we i think this is at my house maybe and we ordered pizza and this was something that i didn't know i did maybe or i was unconscious or something and he saw me do it and was like legitimately gonna puke but i uh i took the piece of pizza and it was on a paper plate and there was some some of the grease had come off the the pizza and i was like sort of dipping the crust in the grease off of it to make it like easier to go down and he saw me and he was like disgusted by it and i think he legitimately like went in the bathroom was like wow he has a really terrible gag reflex i i think that's a genius idea personally

i've done that move before i've done the grease trick it made me so self-conscious about it that i've never i haven't done it since i think this is going to be another device of one because i think that there's some people who paper towel off their slice of pizza which yes i think makes i think that's weirder and grosser to me right like i just get it though i get it i get it but then also like i don't know when i was a paper towel on the pizza when i was like 25 or whatever it was like no grease is the good stuff yeah you know the same as like when i got a steak it was like oh more fat on the steak right i like that you know people go are you gonna cut off all that fat a bit no that's what i like i may still feel that way yeah i love the fat yeah but that's

that's i think that will be i think that will make some people sick and then i think others will love i think that's a great idea yeah so no judgment for people who do it i don't mean to say it like it's a bad thing but i i was shamed yeah i felt dirty like a bad little boy well you shouldn't have been yeah that's the thing everyone you know we're all just like this is what if people can take a this away from listening to the show and i think they do every week is that human beings are essentially disgusting pieces of machinery right that have to eat and shit and jizz and you can't a jizz you look guys you gotta jizz if you take one thing away it's you gotta jizz and that's what this is all about you know on a jizz scale i give chick filet five pitchforks

wow okay um well hey let us know what you what what your food confession is hashtag concessional and uh we'll see what oh concession concessional yeah it's a little pun i got i don't have a quite tracks this is my concession but i went for it just like a restaurant with value feedback let's open up the feedback this week's email comes from jason jason writes i recently went to a restaurant in seattle where they serve chowder front it's not jason with a mask okay all right calm down you got scared i was a little bit scared okay no all right what about just did chucky write a letter uh chucky did write a letter but it was just a little too dirty for us to read on the air oh yeah yeah scoundrel yeah dirty than freddy well freddy wrote another letter and he was

like uh yeah let me just read freddy what's more scary about freddy like the fact that he has knives on his fingers yeah the fact that he's like legitimately calling like people you fucking bitch like he's a little hardcore for me yeah freddy freddy likes to i mean he likes to insult people yeah i mean you know it felt like he got into puns later in the series he did and then they kind of like it was just disturbing insults for a while right yeah here con't stuff like that yeah and then it then he got into puns and then the puns stopped being like stopped being all that clever making all that much sense well there's only so many slice or knife right puns you can do like how about a nice slice knife to meet you bitch all right cunt how about a knife up your cunt cunt

good god that's that's my that's my not my impression of freddy but my impression of the films right what i remember of them it that's the first line in the first movie i believe it's really really starts off harsh it's not aged well nick did did freddy write in at all or no yeah mitch freddy wrote in what what did he what did he write to us he says uh sometimes when i'm eating i don't have any utensils and since my hands are knives i'm wondering if it's okay for me to cut my food with my finger knives well this is like the edward scissors yeah it is hope you answer my question uh use a frederick yeah frederick k i'll uh i'll put a letter opener in your spine bitch jason's letter is i recently went to a restaurant in seattle where they serve

chowder fries yes that's exactly what it sounds like clam chowder poured over fries and it was delicious this led to a conversation during dinner about what other items you could pour over fries sure there's chili cheese and gravy poutine but i was wondering if you guys had any other ideas also what are your feelings on dipping fries in milkshakes i'll answer that last part first i like dipping fries in milkshakes i didn't do it this time but i think it's it's a nice little sweet uh and um salty combo yeah combo i think that works really well it's like a chocolate covered pretzel uh but uh do you guys have any ideas anything come to mind uh kin to chowder fries some substance that is not commonly poured over fries that might work i wonder if either pork

and beans or mac and cheese would be oh good over fries yeah mac i mean that's a starch on top of a starch but i bet it would be good and and i like the uh i like the idea of pork and beans i mean like any yeah i think that could be fun i tell you i went i was at the doctor's office with my wife recently we're both dying and oh god we uh uh we were paying and she looks over at me i'm on my phone i just have a smile on my face she says she's like what are you looking at i was like pictures of hot dogs it was national hot dog day and someone had tweeted like a picture of hot dogs from around the world i was just looking at all the different hot dogs and it made me happy and but it it it had items like this right it seems like uh like the stuff they were putting on

hot dogs is like the stuff you put on fries or whatever but are you saying are you saying you want a fry specific something that you put on fry specific this seems like what he's what he's driving towards hot chopped up hot dogs on fry sounds like a sound pretty good sausage yeah i think that would work how about a nice salty sausage that sounds amazing yeah do it do they do that already i've had i've had i mean counter pepperoni like pizza fries like they pour like a marinara and they put mozzarella cheese over it sausage and gravy i got at this place yes would be amazing this white sausage oh yeah yeah but that's gravy and fries so yeah that already exists poutine yeah poutine what about alphabet soup learn some new some new words yeah that'd be

a lot of fun what if you poured it out and it was like fries and you were like holy shit grandma you blew your head off i'm coming grandma this is not my grandma to be clear no a grandma on the abstract a late grandma that you want to you want to come you blow your own fucking head off so you go to the afterlife until about the alphabet soup over fries situation you just encountered she like what they have to sell stuff like this at at you know country fairs and stuff i'm sure yeah why i'm calling country fair yeah but you know country yeah no wait that is a thing right is it a country fair country fair i guess i mean is it county fairs county fair yeah country fairs implies like who the country fair yeah my camper here maybe we're looking at mitch and thinking

of the country bears and there's precious jamboree oh the bishop strikes he just put down his final piece for the night oh my god diagonally um i i was just gonna say how about mashed potatoes some crispy fries and mashed potatoes dip them in mashed potatoes little potato and potato action i think that could work you mean you song on buying it scott what do you think like a garlic mashed potato yeah like a garlic maybe like garlic mashed potato mashed potato of your choice you know talking about your shake thing yeah about m&m's i think that would be dying like if you're at a movie theater yeah because you put in popcorn which is salty right uh what about yeah just put it or some Reese's pieces you know on top of fries i think that

would be interesting what about corn fries hot on french fries hot corn pieces oh i see like corn cobs you said corn fries so confidently i thought it was a thing corn fries yeah you you you get all the corn off of a cob you butter them up and you put up yeah and then you put a sada on fries it could be great what do you think of that yeah that could work yeah these are all great combos all right fries are fries are a great baseline put your favorite food on it just if it works exactly why not yeah yeah great great we're it's all done you're welcome jason if you have a question or comment about the word i'm done goodbye if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants you can listen to always podcast gmail.com or leave us a voicemail

830 go doh that's 830 4636844 and to get the dough boys double our weekly bonus episode join the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash dough boys october blessed continues all month long scott ockerman thank you so much for joining us my very dumb episode i really had fun with you guys i've been wanting to be on the show for a long time so thank you so much for having me can i plug something please do if you uh are a fan of comic books i have one coming out in about a week actually this coming wednesday oh wow x-men black mojo number one wow so yeah it's my fourth comic i've ever written for marvel but it's uh i think it's a fun issue it's lighthearted but also you know i don't know i mean i'm really i have no idea what people are gonna think about it

so i'm interested so pick it up in comic stores that's awesome and three of them on thursdays anywhere you get podcasts me paul if tompkins and lauren lapkiss what a combo yeah that's better it's better than anything we've done food faith and lemonade i'll do for this episode of dough boys and on next time for the spoon man michael i'm nick weigher happy eating see a hey sandiego we're doing a live show at the house of blues on friday november 30 for tickets and info go to head gum dot com slash live and look for dough boys surfs up see you there buddy now you're speaking my language that was a hit gum podcast