Doughboys - Outback Steakhouse 4 with Tom Walker

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

Tom Walker (@tomwalkerisgood, bigsofttitty.png) joins the 'boys to talk clown college, Hungry Jack's and The Beatles before a review of Outback Steakhouse. Plus, another edition of Chips Inhale.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.tvguide.com/news/butler-marriott-millionaire-37200/https://ew.com/joe-millionaire-producer-regrets-convincing-women-to-do-show-8714985https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0129705/https://www.flickeringmyth.com/crocodile-dundee-at-40-the-story-behind-the-beloved-aussie-classic/https://www.rhdickerson.com/2017/01/stereotypes-and-film-crocodile-dundee/https://grubfeed.com/whats-really-going-on-at-outback-steakhouse-right-now/https://www.outback.com/about-usSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Hey, buddy. Our long national nightmare is over. At long last, the Munch Madness 2026 finale

is actually happening. This is not a drill. This is not a prank. This is not a segment from the new jackass film. No, this is real life. And you know what? The finale is happening live on Saturday, July 11th. That's right, 7-Eleven, never forget.

Or for those of you outside of the U.S., 11-7, isn't it? I understand you do dates differently, and actually the way you do it makes more sense. But whatever, the 7-Eleven thing doesn't make sense unless you order it the way Americans do. And honestly, if you want to say, like, 9-11 is 11-9, I think that's a little disrespectful. So, how dare you?

That's how you're going to honor Steve Ranazizi's memory by saying 11-9, because that's how you do it across the pond. I mean, if a similar thing happened to you, God forbid, I would never mock your calendar in retaliation. Anyway, let's take our minds off of that by talking about the Munch Madness 2026 finale. It will be on July 11th from 7 to 11 p.m. Eastern. It's 4 to 8 p.m. Pacific. Think about that. What kind of synergy is that? 711 from 7 to 11.

We're going to have a pre-show. We're going to have the main show. We're going to have a post-show. Answering your questions live. All this is going to be happening. We're going to get closure on the Dodiac. And Commissioner Susser, who's been kidnapped and held hostage this entire time since March. He has a family and a career.

He's a commissioner of the doughboys. What's he been doing in that dungeon? It's probably lonely. Probably hungry. I've probably lost a few pounds, to be honest. I'm not saying being starved by a serial killer is a good diet, but I'm saying it's a thing that some people could use as an approach. It may not be the right move for everyone,

but it could be the right move for you. But I don't want to trivialize his peril. We love Commissioner Susser, and we hope he's brought back safe and we hope the dodiak is brought to justice. Much madness finale for 2026 is happening on July 11th from 7 to 11 p.m.

Eastern tickets at birdfuck.com slash live. You'd also get tickets at doughboyspodcast.com slash live if birdfuck.com is filtered by your works fucking filter or whatever. I don't know why you're watching this at work or listening to this at work, but some people are apparently. Got nothing better to do.

I mean, what is your job anyway? Were you just listening to Do Boys? That's what you're doing? You're collecting a check? These are billable hours? You're listening to me doing this ad read? I mean, really, you should give us your money by going to Birdfuck.com slash live

or Do Boys Podcast.com slash live. And buying tickets for the Munch Maddest 2026 live finale. We'll see you there, buddy. Wow. This episode is Bruteman. Brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the U.S. So you can find exactly what you're booking for?

There's something for everyone, Wags, even those who are impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep, light, rise early mom, I know that. Or your high-maintenance group chat. I know that as well. It's called the doughboys group chat. You can find exactly what you're booking for. Mitch, you and I travel a lot together. It's true.

touring, and we found that we have some particular needs for ourselves and for our staff who makes the show possible. That's right, Wags. What we're always looking for is a big kitchen. We're always looking for places where you can prepare food at the place. We always want nice bathrooms. We want big old bathrooms. And we want a nice TV so we can watch evening movies.

And if we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. That's right, Wiggs. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking dot yeah, book today on the site or in the app. Do it. Hey, buddy. If you're traveling this summer, here's a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the new language. Instead, try Babel. What I like about Babel is it's built for real life, not vocabular, not verb charts, but real conversation practice, and that's what you need when you're traveling. Lessons are quick, practical, and built by more than 200 language experts.

They have interactive dialogue, personalized reviews, even podcasts, all designed to get you speaking quickly and confidently. And unlike cramming before a trip, Babbel fits into your actual schedule, coffee break, commute, or a few minutes before bed. Babel's award-winning app has sold over 25 million subscriptions and is backed by a 14-day money-back guarantee. I've used Babel myself. Use it to learn Spanish.

And hey, I like that app quite a bit. If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start. So you can actually use what you can use what you. you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babble.com slash doughboys. That's Babel, B-A-B-B-B-B-B-E-L dot com slash doughboys for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply. In 2003, American audiences fell in love with a charming Australian celebrity named Paul Hogan. No, not that one. This Paul Hogan was the butler on the reality dating show Joe Millionaire, in which impoverished hunk Evan Marriott was the plant in

producers scheme to deceive female contestants and according who they thought was the moneyed man of their dreams. Hogan's presence naturally evoked Yankee nostalgia for his 80s-name twin, Australian comedian Paul Hogan. That Hogan had a 12-season run of his eponymous hit-sketched comedy show in which he portrayed recurring characters like Leo Wanker, George Fungus, and Donger, making it the most high-brow series in Australian television history. The Paul Hogan show led to the 1986 global box office smash and Oscar nominee Crocodile Dundee, a reptile D out of water story that made a pre-me meme out of, that's not a knife. Crocodile Dundee and Hogan became patient zero A and zero B for an American obsession with its similarly

drunk and racist, but oddly gunless down under counterpart. And the Aussie invasion led a quartet of Tampa, Florida investors who'd never even visited the country to select it as the theme for their chain steakhouse concept opened in. in 1988. The cartoonish Australian Madlib's menu and cracker barrel by way of Brisbane interior decorating was accompanied by an Australian pastiche ad campaign akin to the Foster's Australian for beer commercials. Today, overseen by its parent company Blumen Brands, which also owns Carrabahs, Bonefish Grill,

and Fleming Steakhouse, the steakery is hemorrhaging locations in recent years. But if history is a guide, it's only a matter of time before the brand gets a boost from the next Paul Hogan. This week on Do Boys, hello down under, as we return to Outback Steakhouse. Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, goon in 60 seconds, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. It's saying that I know what gooning is. You know what gooning is, that that 60-second duration is enough for you to goon.

Gooning is, that's a funny thing. It's like, it's edging, basically, right, is what gooning is? It can be. There's a lot of dimensions to it. I mean, I guess can maybe illuminate things. But my understanding is that you have a lot of porno up at once, and then it's kind of a marathon porno session, where part of it is just like how much pornography can I consume it one time.

Oh. And also how long can I extend the pleasure? So you got hot grunties up on the screen? Yeah, it's up to you, whatever your taste is, you know? I think it's kind of, I think the gooning community is kind of neutral on whatever. porno you're into, it's more just about the the spirit of the. The gooning community. Yeah. It exists.

Yeah, there's a culture around gooning. There's a whole culture around it. Has a good one? There's a culture around. No, I think it's just like goofing around. It's a fairly recent I mean, the word has existed. The idea of a goon has existed for a long time. But the idea of gooning is pretty recent.

Quite the reveal up top, and you're not saying nothing about it. This has been out, this was on a previous episode. It was. We didn't fucking talk about it? No. I didn't acknowledge it. What the fuck?

I tried, I quote unquote, this is archaic language, trying to pimp you into it multiple times, at a live show just recently, and you denied me. Fully uncovered on the Joe Wengerd episode, you said nothing. I had a short-sleeve shirt the entire time.

I didn't fucking notice. I texted the group chat during that episode. She did. And I said, Tattoes out. I said, speaking of being pro cat. I didn't think he had fucking short sleeves on. You didn't think.

I didn't notice. I didn't notice it was out. You didn't think I had short sleeves on. The cat is out. The cat is out. I have a tiger tattoo on my forearm. New tiger tattoo. I'm tiger now.

Yeah, I like it quite a bit. Artists is Anna Mendez, who works here in L.A. It's real. It's real, yeah. It does exist. To quote the M&Ms. Goon in 60 seconds might be too generous from Peter A. Roast at BirdFuck.com.

Okay, I can fucking hold it for a minute. We had a weird guy outside. There was a weird guy. It was really strange. So I got to... I saw the aftermath of this. We're at the studio, and a guy comes up, and I've not interacted with this man at all, but he comes to the main entrance. And I'm like, can I help you?

And he points at Amelia, who's in the studio through the glass and says, I want her. And this guy is just like a guy with a dirty shirt who smells bad. He found a turd on the sidewalk. Honestly, may have been Mr. Wright. No, he's just like a smelly guy with a stained t-shirt, and I'm like, and he's just like, and he's, He doesn't speak much English, and I was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. Hold on a second. You're sure he was a smelly guy?

Yeah, he smelled pretty bad. You got a good whiff, huh? Yeah, I took a whiff. I mean, it's hard to miss. Now I'm self-conscious that you're sniffing me when I walk in the door. I sniff you all the time. You know, I smell great. I smell everybody.

I smell everybody? So do I. He can't help but do it. So do I. Actually, smelling bad is like one of my biggest fears. Yeah, I don't like to smell bad. I'm right there with you. Yeah, it's fucking hell to me.

Smell a bad. I actually duct to. into the toilet of the restaurant that we went to today. Oh, no, I was beyond sniff. I was put, like, soap on my hands. Soap on one hand, water on the other one, duck into a stall, and just start rubbing under the pits.

Oh, that's a good move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then halfway in, I was like, I didn't shut the door. Let's go ahead and shut that bad boy. We called that an Italian shower. Really? I've heard it called a... Who does Italian people? Yeah, not surprised by that at all. Yeah. I've heard it called a whores bath. Oh, wow. That's fun. That's also been my experience.

but I'm not racist towards Italians. And he's like, I hate those sex workers. Filthy little things, but yet I can't get enough. So this guy's like, I want her as like, I was like, that's okay, buddy, sorry. And then he's like, and then Emma comes out and is like, can I help you? I was like, uh-oh.

He's like the guy fixing the garage door. Yeah, he was here right before you guys got here. And I didn't see him at all. His van was completely blocking the driveway. And Amelia went out. Was like, do you mind moving up a little bit? Because we need to use the driveway. and I think that's why he came back and was like that one

because he had talked to her before. Right, so he thought you were in charge here because no one else works here except for Ryan, the intern, the lone employee who's been on the premises. They're all in Miami still. They're all in Miami. I think if he said to me, I want her, I'd be like, to kidnap?

I wouldn't know what he was. That's what I thought he was. I was a creep. Mitch is like, take her. That's a kidnap? Yeah, go ahead. I thought this guy was a creep, so I'm like, I was just like trying to keep him out of the building.

Apparently he actually was working on something. And then he was like, who called to complain about the gate. Like, we did, like, someone was supposed to get in trouble, and I was like, I don't know. I just work here. I don't even work here. Yeah, none of us work here. We're just here. I'm just here. I didn't like his attitude. No, I didn't like his attitude either. It was rude. Maybe he hates head gum, too, like you, clearly. Yeah, understandably. We're having, we're having a great time. A lot of, no problems with anyone who works here.

Creep. All of the producers on the same page. Creep. Cleep. Sal and Pepper and Radiohead, right? Oh, and, yeah. Salt and Pepper. Is it Salt and Pepper? So I creep. Is that that right? So I creep. Isn't that Shoe? So I Shoop? No, Shoup is different. Shoup A-Doo. So-D. Creep. Isn't it, isn't that one too?

Creep is by Radiohead. Yeah, that's the only what creep. Is there a salt and pepper creep? Fucking shit. I had a couple good characters. I was on fire starting off the show. We should have been, we should have been recording. Oh, there is a TLC. TLC. TLC. Okay. Yes.

Okay. I don't know that way. Is that we were thinking of. The TLC song. You get a favorite TLC member? I was always a fan of a Lisa Lefti. Who doesn't like Lisa Lefti? Who left eye? Yeah. Chile's pretty nice, though.

Left Eye of rest and peace, correct? R. AP. Yeah, yeah. This is the first time I've felt young in like five years. Because we're talking to... Do you know TLCs? You know Waterfalls. You know Waterfalls. You know Waterfalls.

You know Waterfalls. You know Waterfalls. I'm a baby. They know Waterfalls and they're babies. This may be more of a divide the existence of the Pacific between our two nations than anything. It made me the TLC's deeper pets may be more well-known. I do know that.

My brain's mush. What do you want for me? But a TLC left, I mean, I liked all three of them. Yeah. They all did a great job. Yeah, God bless them. God bless them. I was on fire before this started. You were on fire.

I had a pretty good marriage, Dr. Evil character. Do you want to bust that out again? I can give you my ring. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to pass my wedding ring over to me. Tom, do you mind if it's a living with him? Okay, and just for this period, you're just on the market?

All right, there we go. 30 seconds, go for it. I mean saying, do whatever you want for 30 seconds. I just jack off. I can't. No, I can't do it. No, I can't do married, Dr. Evil. Do it, do it.

No. One married dollar. Very good. Thanks, buddy. It got the same not funny response as the first. time I did it. But I, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's pretty fucking good. It's good. You had another funny character too. Oh, that, yeah. Uh, Scottish Italian guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I want some cop. I can't do it. I couldn't do it. Donkey, I was trying to remember how to do the Scottish

accent from Shrek. How does he, how does, how does the Scottish guy? Shrek, I think Shrek, yeah. Think Shrek. Oh, don'tky. Oh, I want some gabagoo. That's good. That's a good character. Put it on your real. Both are Mike Myers. Both are Mike Myers. I can't do a Scottish action.

Do you want to busten a love guru to do the trifecta? I'm done with after I didn't get the, I went in for Apu replacements on the Simpsons. They're casting a wide net. They're casting a very wide net. Weicks Howard, a traffic E. L.A. day today. Yeah, you know, what else is new? I thought today was kind of, was a little bonkers out there today. Kind of a weird day, so I'm not surprised by the weird vibes.

More bonkers than bonzer. Yeah, I don't know what the... I was bombing for a while, now I'm glad. I learned the word bonzer from the Outback Steakhouse. You're pronouncing it with an ER, and I would love you to just put an A on the end. Bonza. Yeah, there we go, no hard ar on the bonzer. It's really unsatisfying.

Me and Mitch are only hard ars. Okay, all right, no worries. No worries, okay, that's fine. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm new here. What is it, Scottish? He's Scottish guy sounds like, does he sound like that? Yes.

I'm squottish, that's it. Okay, all right. That's good, yeah, they usually say that. I'm squatish. That's what they lead with, and then they close with that as well, yeah. But you're also Italian. I. Boy, what would that even sound like?

Yeah, really, really interesting. I'm Scottish. Okay, that's good. It's a weird day today. It's a weird day today. It's a weird day today. By the way, traffic all over the place, I fill up with my, the gas tank wags, $130. Whoa, I did that the other night really hurt.

$130.30. You have a bigger tank than I did. But my tank isn't even, it's not that big of, I mean, it's pretty, I think it's like 17 gallons or something. You know what I mean? Mine's only 11, so. 130 bucks 130 bucks

too much money I say I can't believe this is not what I voted for Trump for this is insane I'm gonna hit him with the drop that's what you want out of me that's why you're looking at me here it comes

I want you want to have a nice conversation I don't feel like jacking off jerking off or cranking off jacking off jerking off by the power of grayscol I have the pancakes I don't feel like jacking off

drinking off or cranking off. I have the pancakes. Prepare to he-he-he. Howdy-how! To Spoon Nation. What is that special? That's a really good one. That was good.

What up, chat? This drop clocks in at 110 beats per minute. Wow. Count D's nuts. That was good, Count D's nuts. That was good, Count D's nuts. That's good. Well played.

That's count, let's count a, dropula using a, a pseudonym, count these acts. Oh, right, that's what it is. Because the count

Dropula signature at the end is the, um, the fart. That's, right. Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah. I think so. I should know. I read these all the time and I should know that, but I don't, I don't know. Yeah.

Um, why? Because I almost ran over, uh, I was, I was coming on my, uh, I was coming on my driveway. Yeah.

I, I, uh, I almost ran over, uh, CM Punk. What? Oh, you weren't here. You weren't there when I did.

I told it. No, yeah. He always took out the straight-edge superstar himself. I almost ran over CM Punk. At your apartment? Yes. Yes.

Wow. So you're pulling out of the driveway. I'm pulling out of my driveway. CM Punk happens to be walking in the neighborhood. Yes. And you nearly hit him with your car. He was none the wiser. He didn't even glance up.

But I wasn't paying attention to him. He should have been scared. Yeah. And I almost kill Zampunk. Is that cool of a kid? character. But you say almost killed. How close did you come? Close enough. Was he, was he walking? I bet you got a little bumper breeze. He didn't even notice it. So you saw him too late that he was walking in front of your car and then he just continued walking.

Yes, I looked back to see if the garage door was closing. Looked around CM Punk right there. Almost a splat on my windshield. Oh, so you were front first. Oh, it was front first. Oh, wow. That would been a traumatic. I know. And then I was saying that it would be like former twisted Metal Star goes, and then starring in parentheses in question mark next to that. But former Twisted Metal Star goes, has off-road, you know, is his off-road rampage, kills C.M. Punk. It's like when one of us dies of like heart disease. It'll be like fast food podcast.

Yes. It dies of a heart attack. I know. Don't do that. For God's sakes, when that happens and it will happen at some point, don't do that. That's really cute that you guys don't think you're going to take each other's lives. That's a good point You would have made the dirt sheets

I would have made the dirt sheets Meltzer would know the name Mike Mitchell Meltzer would know They would tie it to Samoa Joe I worked with Take heat He would take heat It would be a nightmare

They'd have to make it into an angle So look where you're walking See him punk Watch out Lest you Mike Mitchel a tidy bag of money Get him back in the big leagues you Logan Paul I show speed

I'm that's that wise you don't watch wrestling but that is I show speed I don't watch wrestling you don't watch it anymore you can't say that I check in with wrestling I just like I'm not I'm not following I don't follow WWI I did not know you get mad at this No I'm just saying like it's not like I'm completely

checked out I just thought you were pretty checked out I mean like I Logan Paul and I show speed are are wrestling a lot in the in in in Maine of it they were in they were in WrestleMania right yeah i think so yeah do you not watch us i mainly keep up with wrestling to check in on the guys that i like liked and i was a teenager to be like are they still being treated well all right sweet

if sammy zane's all good i'm good if kevin sammy zane had a sammy zane had just one little uh little step back recently he went on kill tony uh it got cut for the main broadcast it got cut for the main broadcast what do you say something like pro-palestinian or something that's where they draw the line god damn it He did say something that I do think was like a, like a, I like Sammy Zane. And I like Sammy Zane. Not everyone's supposed to. I think he does, he is a funny guy, but also not everyone should do stand up.

I'm saying that about myself too. There's a terrifying amount of people who are running towards Open My Comedy, which I, you know, you're running as fast as you can to get away from it while you're doing it. Yes, a hundred percent. As a comedian, yeah. I remember Harris would always be like, I'm not like a real standup and I always be like, who cares? You're like you're like He wouldn't Sorry I shouldn't say that

Because I do think Harris was a real standup But he would be like I'm like not doing sets every night And I'm like having a writing job And stuff like that And I was like that's cool I like you're that what are you doing That's a career path

I mean some some standups are touring Some standups end up writing or acting It's fine Yeah yeah yeah yeah I agree Whatever who cares I'm not shitting on standout Why are you scared about Who cares because Harris passed away

No I care about that Okay Wait something happened to Harris Yeah boy we'll catch you up afterwards. How close were you guys? I thought we'd had a falling out some years ago.

Harris is fine then. We'll talk to you after the show. Oh, boy. But no, I care about Harris' How dare you? How dare you? I'm sorry. You care about our friend dying

and I care about pro wrestling. We'll leave it at that. All right, yeah, sure. That's even scales. rest in power Harris little I acted the same way you did you got more mad That's why I thought you did that That's why I did that

But I'm saying you still got more mad than I did about Harris I had a fake being mad about Harris for a second I wasn't actually mad You weren't mad about wrestling No I was just like I was clarified I'm not right Then that is your God you spend your whole time thinking about what it's going to be like

and it's more like it than you can ever imagine. You did Doth protest a little, you got a little too upset about it. Okay, fine, that's fine. But you don't watch it on it. You haven't watched it? Especially when the NBA season is going. You haven't watched WW in the Eons?

I never watched WW yet. But A.W. Yeah, I'll check it. Yeah, yeah. I know. Yeah, we haven't done a while. And also, you're not the only one. I mean, maybe it is time,

maybe it is a time in our lives to stop watching. To put away childish things. Is it time to put away the childish things? Or do you, or like me, do you watch Super Mario Galaxy last night very late? You know what else watched the Mario movie? Emilio Marina.

What was your rating? Oh, fucking shit. I haven't seen Galaxy yet, but I saw the other one. Yeah. From 2023. Five stars. There you go.

Wow. Big fan. Fucking dumb Italian piece of shit. It's a fucking, it is because he's an Italian plumber that you went so high on this. Yeah. Because you gave the Muppet movie

3.5 stars. Oh, shit. Wait, all right, no, we can talk about this. I think so. It's come up. It's come out. It came out. Yeah.

You gave the Muppet movie 3.5 stars. You gave the Mario movie five stars. It just depends on my mood when I'm watching the movie or the experience I had or, you know, the circumstances are surrounding the movie going experience. Maybe I was in a bad mood the day I saw the Muppets movie. I also have a crush on Luigi. You have a crush on Luigi? Yeah. I was saying that you were getting too close.

close to the shit when you're reviewing shit and that it's spilled over into your movie reviews. Because I think that a five for a Mario movie and a 3.5 for the Muppet movie is out of control. All this stuff is supportive. Alex Fierer texted me and said that he was, he said that he thanks me for for defending the Muppet movie. We all liked it. Yeah, I don't know what you were defending. We all enjoyed it.

The Mario movie. All right, can I go off on the Maro movie for a second? If you want. I love Nat. know you went and did the thing. No, I don't care. Go see whatever you want. Sorry. You don't have to apologize to me. Sorry, I know that you, I know that you bow down to the man. All right. Our guest hosts the great Australian bakeoff on the podcast, Big Softtitty.com. Tom Walker's here. Hi, Tom. Hello. Thank you for so much for having me. I was so thrilled. You made time for us, from Australia, of course, visiting L.A.

Yes. You can a movie like the Mario movies in Seltie? our children's intelligence. Children are pretty fucking dumb, man. That's true. Yeah. What are you watching when you grew up? I was just looking at shapes and sounds. Yeah.

Pratt, you're my boy. Jack Black is my boy. I love those. Oh, Chris Pratt is so funny. He's my favorite stand-up. Chris Pratt is my favorite stand-up. Yeah, I haven't seen him do it, but I just know it's going to be so fucking good. He did it.

He'd be so good. Jack Black is my boy. I love Jack Black. And Pratt was very nice to me when I filmed Tomorrow War, a nice enough man, and he is Mario. Yeah. And I don't, look, I'm going after those movies. I just saw Super Mario Galaxy last night, and it's just not a movie in many ways.

Well, okay, so this is a thing. And have you seen the Mario Galaxy movie? Am I in trouble? I can't make fun of the Mario. You can. I'm specifically laughing at you saying that he had sold out and was sucking the corporate dick, and then you backtracking and be like, obviously, of course, we love the stars. I mean, obviously Chris Pratt can do no wrong.

You know, I mean, the guy's a bankable movie star. A former friend of the pod, Chris Pratt. Jack Black we haven't had on. Wow. Yeah, yeah. We'll figure it out. Has been on. But yes, I, I, apparently

Miyamoto, Shigerra Miyamoto himself, said that his, that he was almost thinking of this as like a collection of YouTube clips. That it's like almost, you think of a young kid watching it. They watch YouTube now and they just watch a bunch of short videos. So it kind of makes sense in the way the movie is structured because it's not really a traditional narrative.

It's a bunch of disconnected set pieces that just kind of go from one to the other. Can I just say this? Mario turns into a baby. in the movie in front of peach. He gets babality. He gets babality. He turns to a baby and then turns back into adult and a peach never says anything about it.

Which is kind of crazy. How long is they there between the baby and the adulting? Adelting. I mean, it is like, it's like, in that world, maybe an hour or so, they encounter a dinosaur. They do encounter a dinosaur. Yeah. They encounter the T-Rex from Mario Odyssey. Didn't you think that the T-Rex was going to be unbabified at the end to like get Bowser?

I thought that, because like the little baby T-Rex is with them. And you ever remember that part? Yeah. You had to remember one part of the movie? Again, kids are watching a bunch of YouTube videos. You were just so horny seeing Fox McLeod. That's horny as fuck. Yeah, no shit.

I can tell. Fox is looking good. I got something for your other forearm. Which will be convenient because you can just fucking look down and jack the shop off. Wow. Think of all the money you'll save on data. Who is the hottest Fox? is it is it is it is it um the what's the best creep

you're gonna go radiohead creep over tLC's creep i just don't know they're the tLC one at the top of my head okay so i'd probably go radio head by default not not even the hugest like fan of that song but you know it's a good song sure i think okay so we got fox mccloud uh we got nick wild from zootopia fantastic mr fox fantastic mr fox and then we got robin hood fox Robin Hood Fox Cle is for me. I mean, just like that's such an easy. Yeah.

Oh, but Zootopia is so good. Is Robin Hood Fox a little Brit? Is he a little Brit bitch? Pardon me? Once more? Is it Robin Hood Fox is a little British bitch? Is that his deal? I don't think so.

I don't remember him having a British voice. I believe him to be American. He's American. He's American. Oh, hell yeah. He's number one for me too. We even got your Robin Hood. Right.

We got your folk hero. What have you gotten up to out here in the city of angels? Oh my God. Thank you so much for asking. And absolutely to you as well. Yeah, I'm learning out to speak. No, it's awesome being here. Of course, I'm out here meeting with A24.

A24-year-old Twitch streamer I find very attractive. Okay. No, I'm doing like a bunch of shit. Like I'm going to restaurants and cafes. basically I'm out here because my friends at Stamped Down of filming their special and I realized that I could come out and watch it be filmed and also just kind of be a calming presence

for them to have around. That's fun. Yeah, so I went to Clown College with like Zach Zucker and Vigo Van and Johnny Woolley and all these freaks, all these horrid little freaks. And we did the Edinburgh Fringe with each other. Zach Zucker, one of the Zucker brothers or no? Different from them.

Okay, right. Actually somehow not a Nepo Baby from the Zucker Dynasty. but was very close to being canceled for that. Oh, my God. People were saying that he was like, oh, God, of course, this guy is getting, you know, prominence based on his name. And he's like, no, I'm just. I'm another Zucker.

I'm a different Zucker. He's a different guy. Zach's one of the funniest. And, yeah. Is the name is Zach Zucker? His name is Zach Zucker, which is the, that's pretty damn good. Bro, Zach Zucker and Vigo Venn, two real names and a performing duo par excellence.

That's wild. Let's talk about clown college a little bit. and ZZ. That's right. That's fucking cool. Let's talk about Client College a little bit. So this was like a, this was not like the workshop that Amelia took, although that that's certainly like a thing that people do.

This was more of a little bit more intensive than that. Did you take any classes with Wags Dad as a professor? My dad is not a clown. He was a professor of chemistry, in organic chemistry. He didn't teach clowning at all? He didn't teach clowning. No, but I remember that I did kind of learn chemistry from him. I learned how to like run a hand down the back and, you know, kind of make eye contact.

I think he was the guy who actually taught me the move of pressing someone up against the wall by their neck and then putting a hand behind. But I digress, yeah. Break down the chemical compounds of, like, an animal balloon or something like that. Yeah. Dad is not clown. Doing a whole semester on different animals. Your dad doesn't even care that I say that he's... I know.

We have fun. We're having fun. I'm having fun. You having fun over there? I'm having fun. We're all having fun. Me too. Yeah.

Yeah. We're having more blast. There's no classes from... All right, so you didn't, why your dad wasn't a professor? No. Okay. No, he was a student just like me. We went to LaColee Philippe Goliere, which is Philip Goliere's school.

He's just passed. You may know him as the guy in a clip with, which is a baffling thing, which is him, Hillary Clinton, and Natalie Palamedes. Oh, yes. Yes, talking about whether, uh, what it takes for a woman to be clown. Um, that locked my vote in for Hillary that day. Yeah. Oh, wait.

Was it after she ran? Oh shit. It was. So that might be why she lost. Oh, shit. Came in just a little bit too late over the line. But yeah, I went there. So it's basically a place that you get yelled at by a old French guy for two years.

And the whole thing is that they don't tell you how to do stuff. They just are like, yeah, that sucks. Do it differently. Wow. So it kind of simulates like doing comedy in like a sketch or open mic kind of thing. Sure. But it makes you listen to it. Because like if you bond.

you do need to change something. But in this case, they're like, hey, just instead of like, you know, if you get up and bomb, you can kind of walk away from it. At Clown College, like, if you bomb, they grab your back of your head and, like, push you into the shit and, like, rub your face on it. Just like, just remember that that wasn't funny.

What, what, what, are you doing, like, high performance? Is it like a sort of high performance bits? Are you doing, like, a thing where it's like a sound and movement sort of thing? Or is it like you're telling jokes or like, what is it? It's whatever. And that's the horrible thing about it. literally one of the exercises is like there's an empty stage and he says somebody go up and make me laugh and he's sitting there with a drum and when he hits it you have to stop and wow and then he'll like

and then he'll go around the class and be like bah you know dumb he was not funny was he ah goodness no he was not funny nick you think you think tom is funny you laugh and you have to say like but no sir that's right yeah and then if someone says dancing for the man once again yeah uh god if chris pat was up there he'd be fucking making me laugh. Nick, do you think the Mario movie is good, Nick? Is this the Scottish Italian guy? Yeah. Yeah, so I went to clown college with those guys.

Yeah. Yeah. Was this in Paris? Was this? Yeah, like an hour out of Paris by train. So it's in a place called Etonp, which is why their show is called Stamptown, because Etonp is like stamps.

So you lived in France for two years going to clown college. I don't speak the language. I didn't learn. shit. I've wasted my life. That's wild. Yeah, it's weird. Do you, do some people not graduate, like, or is it like you don't graduate? No, here's the great thing about it. You don't need to audition or qualify. You just had to pay for the course. Okay. And now, Philippe Collier, rest in peace, dead. Wow. So, now it's run by his wonderful wife, Michiko, who is an incredible teacher and an absolute

terror. My main memory of her was her doing a movement course and at one point making everybody run around and then catching a student and tripping her to the ground and then elbow dropping her. Oh man. She fucking rocks. Yeah. Anyway, man, we got to open the doughboys podcasting school. You guys would do so good. I mean, you would make so much evil. The smackerinos we'd make. Yeah. That's the real way to monetize. Are you just saying? No, I did not. When I said smackerminos, I was not thinking about smacking Emilie Marino. Cancel his ass.

I was thinking about the smackerino. You know what I'm talking about? Cold hard smackerinos. The real way to make money in this industry is to teach classes. So I think we can eventually figure that out. I think the real way to make money is to just like cheat people is the, I'm not, I'm saying, we're saying the same thing in different words. I'm not saying college.

That sounds like, honestly, I. No, no, no, no. You're right. I took comedy classes. I took a lot of comedy classes. As did you. You took comedy classes. Yeah.

How do you think you end up with the Scottish Italian guy? We'll teach you a lot of reps. We'll teach you in the doughboys course. I think yes. The way that you make the most money is by cheating people in something. What's the worst class you guys ever did?

Comedy class or no? Any. I remember I did a self-tape class. I did a self-tape class as well. Yeah. At the end of it, it was like, really strange because he got everyone to go around and tell like an emotional story from their life and like everyone else was like crying and stuff based on you know them having like trauma

and stuff and I was like I don't want to do this yeah that's I just made up something that's that's that is what did you make up okay I remember I think I just said like ah yeah I got dumped which would never happen to me yeah so yeah this girl this gal dumped me this dame got my heartstrings and then you're like I'm sad or you were like pretending to be sad about it or I was going boohoo. Yeah, no, but like, it was, it was so clearly, like, it was meant, and it was like, oh, it was marketed the whole time as like, what we're going to do at the end of this course, and you did not tell anyone about it. Yeah. Even if you advise someone to take the class, I implore you, do not tell them what we do at the end of this course. And then, like, for the first,

like, day or so, he was, like, hyping it up. And then it was just like, tell me the saddest shit that's ever happened to you. And it was like this weird love bombing, like, or like, you know, a huge emotion bomb going off at the end, which is just like supposed to kind of make. people think about it? I don't know. Weird. What's the worst class you goes on? I think that for me, I won't say it because it will be, I can't say it exactly.

But like, like, you can take different forms of improv. Did Pratt teach a course or, okay. You can, you can do, you can, what did you say? Did Pratt teach a course? No, I, I loved, when I worked with Pratt taught the movie form. There is a movie form. I know. This is, this is what I'm saying is that there is like forms like this in improv.

Yeah. I'm thinking like, I took a class that was like on one of those forms. I was like, I don't like this. Yeah. I will say. And I can't say too much more. I took, I took, I've taken like one or two acting classes in my life when I thought I, I think I've taken two acting classes that when I thought I was, I should be an actor because that's what people do out of air and then I realize I can't do it. And don't really want to.

Well, you can do it. Well, I don't want to. How about that? I don't want to. That's better. And so, and there's enough people doing it. I would have accepted or I stink at it. I'm also, I also stink at it.

Anyway. That's not true. He's good at it. Then why would you have accepted it? Because I would have accepted that you think you stink at that. But why wouldn't you accept him saying that he can't do it? Because I wanted to say that he stinks. A thing that none of us want, apparently.

Bad breath for me worse than that. Bad breath is the one I'm afraid of the most. Really? So I went to this class. I went to it twice. And then I just didn't go back. But it was like, it was fine. It was whatever.

But the second, it was one of those places where it was exactly what you're describing about clowns, about clown class where it was I'll tell you what you're doing wrong but I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give you anything that steer you in the right direction yeah yeah yeah but there was a part where he was like did a magic trick to kind of impress

everybody and then he fucked up the trick and it was one of those things of like sometimes a magician's like oh I did it wrong I guess I guess this is your car you know I mean like it's that's part of a misdirect and the prestige of like it seemed like he was doing that but he was like no I just did it wrong

so yeah I usually do it right And then that was it We went back into class He totally lost everyone's respect That's really good It was an acting class Yeah

Why was he doing magic anyways These fucking guys are probably all trying to fuck their students Oh right That's another part of being in classes That's another benefit Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah Yeah There's something about I'm gonna tell people when I have it on for when I do, when I do marriage, Dr. Eve long I let people know this is not my wedding ring. Right, right, right. This is a prop wedding ring.

You can, once you want to fuck me after I do this bit, you may fuck me. You got like a snap release ring that you can just press a button on it like falls off. A lot of horny tex. Probably your snap release ring with a button under your desk that locks the door. A lot of, I saw a lot of horny teachers in my time. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember Alex Fernie, our buddy Alex Fernie, his joke about someone at UCB who had a reputation for dating their students. He said, he's fucked more students than no child left behind. That's a good one, Bernie. That's good. I was never hot for teacher. I never had a moment where I was hot for teacher. Really?

Oh, there is actually, I can think of one now. I changed my mind. There is, nah, not a time. Like, I, I, I, I had so many, like, old teachers growing up that I, like, there's one, I'm now thinking of, like, a substitute teacher that I was, thought was pretty. Tom, you ever get a crush on a teacher? Thank you so much for asking. Of course.

Not a problem. And to you as well. The, uh, no, I'm, uh, I'm usually in love with my wife, uh, commonly. You're our wife guy. You're a wife guy. You're a wife guy. I am looking to cheat. The most honorable guy of all, the wife guy.

Yeah. Yes. We love our wife. famously immune from falling from grace. Yeah, no, I think I, look, I think there's that one person in high school where like you see a teacher that's like close in age that's not in their 30s and you're like, oh, wow, you know what, maybe I'll, maybe I'll shampoo my hair in case Miss Richards wants to fuck me later. Right. Like just the, yeah, the standard. You might want to throw a scream mask on and fuck it.

This is an American story. Okay, thank you. There was a gang bang involving a teacher who put on, had the students wear scream masks while they pleasureed her. Awesome. Yeah, pretty cool. That's cool. Which led to me saying, do you like teachers' boobies?

And people didn't really like that, I feel like. They didn't care for it. I thought it was good, too. There was a recent one where the lady just, she. There was a recent one. I mean, they happen all the time in the States, unfortunately. But there was one, she was, she was, she was like 25. I mean, I'm not saying that's okay.

It's not the worst thing that. She was, she was a younger, she was a younger late. She was like 25 and the kid was like 17, but her husband, she had a husband. And then the husband has stayed with her. Like, this is the one I was reading about just most recently. But there's a lot of these. Do you have like a Google alert? I do have it.

There is a Google alert on my phone. Yeah. You mentioned, you mentioned your wife, guy. I met your lovely wife, Demi Lardner, who co-hosts BigsoftDi. PNG with you. a Patreon I subscribe to, very, very funny show. When she was visiting in LA, this was last year, I believe, maybe a couple years ago. Do you subscribe to it through Doe Boys or no?

No, it's my own Patreon. I was going to say, fine. I would have been, it would have been, it could have been cool for both of us to subscribe because I... You can also subscribe. That was kind of cool because you can tell that Mitch had his cake and ate at two, because you get mad at you either way. So I emailed, I knew you were out here in L.A. via our buddy Libby Watson, who also joined us for lunch, which we'll talk about. I emailed Demi for your number, and she gave it to me.

And so I texted your number. And the text I received back was I have this written down verbatim. This is the worst thing Tats ever happened to me. This is Demi, and I gave you my number by accident. She gave me her own phone number. That's very funny. I love her so much. That was great.

Yeah, she was like, the number I know. You're lucky she just didn't give you like five, you know. Like, she is so... I love my wife very much. She's great. Yeah. She's all over the place. One thing Demi brought up while we were hanging IRL with her and Libby and Brendan James was her enthusiasm for, not for doing the practice herself, but for knowing of people who have engaged in self-sucking.

My understanding is that you are also an auto-filatio enthusiast. Well, I don't do it myself, but I do love the guys who engage in it. Yeah, they're really funny. Yeah. I, like. No one here does that shit, but. Yeah, of course. Again, want to emphasize, I listen to the show.

Yeah, no, I really like reading about the self-suck guys because they just have so many, I mean, it's like, it's a bunch of things. The posts on there are always the same. It's always like, hey, how do you do this? Hey, this really hurts. Should I stop? And the answer is yes. And they say, well, I don't think I'm going to. And then the photography of it is always so miserably flawed that it borders on like artists.

It is always flash on middle of the night, way too close, red in the eyes. Like, it's so good, man, every single time. I found a video the other day of a guy sucking himself off in a kayak. And he was like in the water. He was like, it's really funny to see a guy rocking from side to side. Have you ever seen a guy with his cock and his mouth loses balance slightly? Because the mix of pleasure and fear is intoxicating. People are beautiful, is all I have to say.

There's so many different kinds of person to be in this world. Oh, that's what is. People are amazing. That's what the whale says. Was he like sort of like hunched over forward in like this, what would be the rowing position? Or was he more like laying on his back, legs over his head? Clare position. No, no. He was sitting forward and then just like going glar down to his. His crotch was staying in the usual kayak space. Got it, got it. But he was blessed with a magnificent penis, which he.

Yeah, sure. I think that's a part of the equation. Some of the guys really like to show them off. Yeah, there's a lot of guys on there being like, hey, well, I have an average a small dick. Do you guys think I can do it? And there's a lot of big dick guys on there, giving them the benefit of the doubt and going like, well, anybody can give it a try.

It's like, yeah. You're going to be pretty flexible, I feel like. Yeah, it's really, some people are starting on third base, you know? Yeah, yeah. They're only got a short dash to make it to home. I would need, I mean, I'm not flexible. I was just trying to see what I would. I was just testing my limits there.

Right. I would, that's gigantic. Imagine if you had that. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a long ways to go. Just to be clear, the whale says people are amazing. The whale says people are amazing.

The whale does not self-suck. The whale does not self-suck. He has too much body mass, although he is very, very into jacking off. Are you speaking about PyCon, the mighty talcun? No, we're talking about the whale.

We're talking about Brendan Fraser's Oscar-winning performance. My bad. I mixed up my cinema whales. All right. Yeah. They came out the same year, though. Easy mistake to make.

Oh, shit. I wonder if Brendan or audition for, never mind. Probably not. Probably not. They probably wanted to keep it CGI. It was actually Paiacon audition for the whale. Yeah.

Right. He booked Avatar way of water and there's a conflict. He couldn't do both. It was a scheduling issue. I saw his tape though and then, you know, when they pressed the big eye up against the door for the meatball subariving, it was like really beautiful. Hey, I can relate to that. That's actually probably the most relatable thing that would happen in the movie is a big

eye going at the door when the meatballs sub arrives. everything else not that relatable candy bars and draws come on that's like such a fat guy trope of like a draw full of fucking candy bars you don't you don't think that's based

in reality I think people do that I think people have a stash door it's so fucking it's it's it's too on the nose the fat like just a I know that movie is too on the nose I agree yes do you think it's a movie about a fat guy

written by a thin person yes I think that is the issue that's the I think that is the main issue. Yeah. Right. I think you got chubby at one point, but was just chubby.

Right. Stolen Vala. I would take the, would you take the whale class? Would you go in and get top by the whale? You mean like his literature class, whatever it is? The whale's how to float class.

Would you do it? Yeah, I'd love to learn how to float. It seems like an amazing skill. Co-teaching. Did you say what your, oh yeah, yours was an acting class and mine was?

And wait, did you say what yours was? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was talking about the self-tape. Self-tape. Yeah. Am I, Amelia, Have you ever been a slating class?

Have you ever taken a slating class? No, slating. That's like how to say your name. Do they have full classes? I think there are. I don't know. Maybe I'm making it up. I mean,

I believe someone's taking money for that. Yeah, 100%. That's the type of thing you charge for. This is the secret, secret source to get your audition notice. I started fucking around with my slates because I didn't believe that anybody watched them. And nobody's called my bluff yet,

but I started like adding sound effects in. That's good. Yeah, it's fun to do. They're watching a whole bunch of them. Why not? It probably makes them remember you a little more, right? You know what? I did a slate yesterday. So maybe there is a slate class. I did a slate and Irma walked through it. And I was like, that's my cat, Irma. And I was like, I'm going to use that one. Let's use that one. Do you leave the camera on and start yelling at a? Yeah, yeah.

What the fuck are you doing? Stay out of my fucking one. I think there's some of our audience probably doesn't know what a slate is. Do you want to Mitch as a professional actor? Do you want to eliminate people? Yes, I will tell you. It comes like, okay. Hi, my name is Mike Mitchell. I'm reading for the role of the whale. I'm six foot three. I'm based in Los Angeles, California. And I do have a valid passport. Thank you. That's a slate. That was really good. Electric. You should teach a slate class.

That was fucking good. How'd you remember all that? I can't wait to get my hands on those slate students. Emma Amelia, do you ever have a really bad class? I can't think of a bad class I've taken, but I did take my first ever acting class, acting for TV class I took. They were like, okay, just slate. And I have like a film background.

So they were like, okay. give your slate and I did this. I knew it. I knew it. I knew you did that. Let's go. Pretty good. I mean, it's nice. I didn't know. You're not wrong with that either. Yeah. Skin slate, what do they call it?

Did you just do that or did you say something? I did this in the whole class left at me and then they were like, okay, they explained it. I was like, okay. And I did it for real. That's good. You were like, oops, I have a film background. I can't think of like an acting class or anything I've ever taken that was bad. I had to take a sound class in college that was called Critical Listening, and it was a four-hour night class once a week where the professor had, like,

the most monotone voice in the world, and he would, like, play white noise and amplify different frequencies, and we were supposed to, like, try to identify them to, like, train our ears. And it was the most, I, like, could, I could still just, like, pull my eyes out of my head thinking about it. It was the worst class in the world. I hated it. I used to get so high before it didn't help. Wow.

Sounds boring as fuck. It was so boring. In Ithaca, did you take the class that was like where you watch films? Film A&A. Yeah. And it's one of those two. And it's a six hour class, right? It's like from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Which it's already like at 4 p.m. Well, half of that class is a movie, so it's fine. But sometimes. Oh, we would watch like three movies sometimes. Yeah, it was like sometimes you guys watch a fun movie. And then sometimes it was like, here's a bunch of like old things that we study. And so you're like, this isn't as entertaining as much as it is. Like Scorpio Rising.

Yeah, studying. Yeah, it would be like three Sergei Eisenstein. movies and I'm like, I don't fuck... I liked it. Oh, that's bullshit. I like, what? I took a class... I like some of it.

I took a class at B.U for a summer and then they showed us Chinatown and all that jazz. And I was like, this is so much fucking... And two classic movies. I was like, it's so much better than the fucking other shit. Hold on a second. I bet a button just cut. I'm doing something too. I'm doing something with my shirt.

We're doing stuff. Don't look at us. We're doing stuff. Cut to Jimmy. We've, uh, it's a... So, okay, so you're... I'm looking at a picture of a naked guy. Oh, let me get a little bit.

Do you want to see it? It's pretty funny. That guy's got a... No, no. I mean, that guy's got a pretty decent hog. This is from a subreddit called, Please Draw Me Not Safe for Work. Oh, okay.

So it's a bunch of people posting, like, very... Yeah, that's a really... The thing is these... Can I see? There are really unflattering angles. This is really good. Okay, I do have a bigger dick than that. No, a million percent.

I do have a bigger dick than that guy. You truly cannot. YouTube won't allow this, but... Hairdrop it to us. It's really good. You can show us on those boys. I think Amelia would really like this one. You can share it.

I'll turn on my airdrop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting air drop pornography, just so you're aware. He's sending you picks of two naked older men. Is your airdrop on? Yeah, is that okay? Yes, yes. You have my permission.

iPhone 115. All right. Well, I'll wait around. Oh, man, I really hope that you get that one right, whoever, if you're air-dropping someone. And I'll just email that to Studio, G-lift? All right. Yeah, we get to get some,

can we get some dick rates? Dick rates? Yeah, do some dick ratings. Oh, like hatching print? Did you, did you just ask our employees to give dick ratings? Well, I mean, you're looking at these dicks. I mean, you don't have to do that, obviously.

Wait, I don't see it yet. I can't see you on ad drop. Oh, you know what? It might be. Maybe you're not discoverable by me. Oh, maybe. I'll just come over a lot. Yeah, come on over and look.

Yeah, that's the thing to do. When you get this dickrating, you better be nice. There's like a four photo run. So if you just swipe from here. Okay, great. I'm and Amelia both came over to... I didn't see that one.

Oh, yeah, there's another one and then swipe there. That gets fine, yeah. It's nice. That one's good because it's a slightly silly one. This is unfortunate. That one's fun. That is not great. They're not helping themselves with that positioning.

No, they're not. That is uncircumcised. Can I see these again? They're not even chubbed up. That's right. He is not circumcised. I think the, this is, This is a thing, though, you've identified.

He actually might be chubbed up a little bit, honestly. He might be working on it. He's not hard, but he's a little chubbed up. Okay, that's fair. That's fair. I think the, you've identified. The first guy is, the first guy I identify with. Yeah, the side view is very beautiful.

I think he has a gorgeous profile. He's, like, holding up his stomach too. Yeah. I forget the context of these photos. Ruben-esque. I think it was just brought up that I was, uh, big. Oh, okay. On the catching print skill.

Oh, the guy on his back. Be nice D, he gets a D D for dick, yeah D for dick, yeah, yeah, I get D's all around Yeah, yeah, yeah He might work with it, who knows what the fuck he does He might work with it, who knows what the fuck he does?

Lay off of him No one's, no one's, this guy hasn't even been identified Lay off me You've identified something though Which is that a lot of these men who post nude pics online they are not good at knowing their angles. They get all the passion and none of the execution.

And God bless them, they just don't know how to take a nude. Right. I think it's one of those things where a lot of them grew up in a culture where you didn't know, you didn't take photographs of yourself because it was just like not the done thing. And then they try and do it. And I mean, you get some really horrific examples. Look, I've tried to take feed picks and it's challenging to try to get them right. Yeah.

It's just like you. And I've looked at guides too. I was like how to take good feed picks. Like, man, this is not, this is not like a, it's not rocket science, but it's also not like super easy necessarily. Can I take your class on taking feetpick? I think feet picks would be really hard because there's so many angles where it's like, oh, this is going to look like monstrously large in an unappealing way. It would be funny if your feet were as small as that guy's dick was. You have a little fucking tiny feet.

You end up in baby feet. A little baby feet. I feel like some freaks would love that. I'm sure they would. I mean, there's also a part. I mean, I think that maybe was a micropin. But also I think that there is some, I think there's people who like to show that off are into that,

are into people seeing them anyways. No, there, this is, this is an observation from our mutual friend, Jesse Farrar, which is that there's a, there's an inverse bell curve of guys who like to show their dicks, and it's guys with very small dicks, and then, you know, down to like a regular size to guys with a very large dicks.

Yes. Because the small dick guys have humiliation fetishes and the large dick guys are showing off. Yeah. We were saying this, I got blood drawn. Yeah, you've taken off one sleeve of your top layer, your flannel shirt to reveal that you have got blood drawn. I was going to pull that. And then what we found out at lunch slash dinner, whatever, the 4 p.m.

Yeah, it's kind of some kind of never meal, isn't it? It was a weird time. Except there was a lot of old people in there having dinner at 4 p.m. Yeah, that was crazy. There was a lot of, there was a lot of older people. We were there at 4 p.m. Wags. Yes. You got a little late.

You got, you're almost, what time did you get there? Almost five? I was an hour late because my work went an hour long. I was supposed to get out, like earlier than that, and it just kept going. Hey, all the minutes, I've been like, take an hour off of them, we're getting close. We're almost even. Looking at the national debt turning back like one second.

I want to talk about Outback Steakhouse, but were you going somewhere with this? Yeah. Okay, go for it. Okay. I, uh, that was like a, uh, a verclect, uh, little, uh, little John. Is his name, Lil John? Yeah, yeah. But also I was thinking little John is from Robin Hood, is he?

Yeah. Wow, there's two little Johns. Um, okay, I was going somewhere with it. Uh, we, what we found out is that people like to keep their band-aid, because I said this in Libby and Susser both were like, I was like, I was like, I got, I gave blood today and I was like, I got to take this thing off. Well, you gave blood? You donated?

No, no, fuck no. No. My blood is my blood. Never, I've donated blood before, of course. You had blood drawn for laps. I have blood drawn today, yes, for my PRP. That's what it was for. I've given blood.

I, you should give blood. You've given enough blood to earn pumping some of it back into your scalp. I should win the golden Dracula for as much blood as I've given. It's okay to keep some blood for daddy. Yes, I guess. I want to keep a little bit of blood for myself. But I found out, I said, I gotta get, I gotta take this off. And then we found out that people like to keep the bandage on when they give blood.

And I said, it's almost like an eye. You keep saying give blood. You mean just when your blood drawn. When your blood gets drawn. No matter what, whether it's giving blood or blood drawn, no matter what, just they like to keep the bandaid on. And I was like, oh, it's kind of like keeping on like the I voted sticker. But I never, I never even thought about this before. I was like, oh, sometimes I'll keep it on to like show.

And I don't know, it's a little human show off thing. It is like the I voted sticker. Y'all got them I voted stickers over there? We have some of them, and then we also have the classic sausage sausage win bread. Oh, we're a fake country. Sausage win bread? Oh, sausage and bread.

That's what you guys have instead of I voted stickers? You have the sausage sizzle near the voting place, and you get like a sausage in a slice of square bread with some burnt onions and you... So much better. How do we not have that shit? How do we have fucking hot dogs at polling places? Because people don't want you to vote, and I hate to say it, but we have compulsory voting, and then, yeah, if you'd

go there on a right date. There's this. So you take a picture with the sausage, basically. Yes, often. Yeah. Yes. And the sausage tastes nice. Really? It's yummy to eat. That's wild to me because I would think maybe like the state sausage would be bad. It's not like a state

sponsored sausage, but it'll be like a buck or two bucks, and then like it'll go towards a local cause or whatever. It's neat. My feed people would be like, Mitch is voting every day. He's really gumbing up the rolls. But I thought it was an interesting thing that people like to.

Yeah, that's an interesting observation. People like to wear the bandage. I do it. I'll keep wearing it. Even if it's healed. I think maybe it is a thing of like, oh, that's noble. Or you gave blood or or you're like, like, wow. It gives you a backstory.

It gives you that little extra zing. There's a little, yeah. How do you say? Geneseecois. Do you reckon you'll just, you don't agree with that how I use that word there? I'm not sure in this usage it quite applies. No, well, fuck, I don't know. I don't know. Neither of us know French.

X factor, sure. But you're trying to say choir is that, I don't know what. Yes. Yeah. So it works. You do that something special. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you reckon you'll just start putting on bandages? Maybe, honestly. There are some, Nellie used to wear a bandage on his face. He sure did. Yeah. So did TLC? So did T.A. at least a left eye Lopez. That's right.

It'd be really good if next door boys episode you will click turning up with like the big bandage head and then like a, there's the moment they're coming out of the mouth. Like a guy who had something fall on his head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full traction cost. TLC, life is a Harold. Hmm. It sure is. I think you should go mummy.

I think that'd be a good look for you. You think I should be wrapped in tape? Yeah. It's gauze. Be wrapped in gauze from head to toe. I don't know, just like a mummy look could be fun. People would talk about that. I mean, people would talk about it. But it would mostly like, this man has lost his mind.

Do you see that new Lee Kronin mummy? No, did you? Yes. How was it? Oh, I'll never tell. I'm pulling it off. Okay, go for it. Wow.

I'll say he is. I'll start shooting out. His blood is not going to start shooting out. The Band-Aid is off. I did get a little sting or say. There is a little bruise that's for me. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. I want to talk about the great Australian bakeoff. Now, we're, of course, a friend of the show, the host of the American counterpart, Zach Cherry. Yes. The Great Australian Bakeoff,

like, like you've been doing this for a couple of seasons now. I don't know. I mean, like it's, to me, the interesting thing is,

you're such a funny guy, but obviously there's such a contrast between the two credits I introduced you with, a podcast called Big Soft titty. PNG and then something as wholesome as the great Australian bakeoff. Yeah.

Like my, I have a prime special, which includes a bit where I like, I'm sucking my own dick for three and a half minutes. Right. Like, yeah,

it's very, it's very different. The crucial element there is that the production staff on Great Australian Bakeoff did not know who I am and still do not. So that's basically the secret source. I think the direct quote I got where they had to do like a due diligence check of all my socials and shit. And actually, I don't know that I've talked about this. When I, my management like message me being like, hey, like I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but they like, they're scanning your socials just so you know. And I was like, oh, okay, cool.

And then they got really mad at me because I posted with no context, I hate bread. And then a picture of, that's really, yeah. You knew they were scaring social social. I knew that they were going to, like, be looking at my tweets for, like, you know, cancancable, objectionable stuff. And then I just posted a picture of a loaf of bread and yuck.

And then my bench would go really mad at me. I was going to say, did they accuse you of some self-sabotage there in a way? Yeah, 100%. Yeah, they got very, very mad at me. But then the official stance on Big Soft Titty from the production, they talked to me after I got the job. They were like, yeah, I tried to listen to that, didn't really get it. And I was like, that's perfect.

There you go. Yeah, as long as you got out of there before the self-suck roundup started or, like, Demi started talking about how she had, Demi had to run out of the room to have diarrhea, which happens like, I mean, truly at, like, even greater than Doboy's levels. We were talking about live shows Whether we ever had to do I believe I was talking about this with Betsy

When we were when we did our live show in San Jose Have you ever had to leave a show to take it? And I have had to run off stage at UCB Before to go to the bathroom and here we've definitely We did number one or number two Number two Oh my God

That's never happened to you before? No What's the wiping situation like? Yeah And you know that the crowd is about there Channing for Mike I still am just going to take my time I mean like there's nothing

I don't think I've ever, like, left the stage where it was like, I'm, like, gonna fuck this show over. Right. Like, like, a birthday boy show where I was in a sketch or something. I don't think I've done that. But I have, like, in an improv show or, like, hosting a show, I think I've been like, all right, whatever, it's the next act. I'm out of here.

Like, I gotta go. You know what I mean? Like, but only, like, not many times. I've been close multiple times, I feel like. It's a hard, it's a thing you don't think about. Yeah. This must have happened. Jay Leno's, I'm sure, has eaten some bad, you know, had a bad oyster.

Hey, Kevin, that's up a little bit for me. They leave me a little bit by they go take shit They leave his mic on I get on I'm pooping Oh God I'm pooping in the toilet He comes back There's like

He's talking about it the whole time There's like a brown spot Between his chin And people are like Does he shit? Does he shit out of his chin? Functional butt hole there? Is that a funk?

Is that where his butthole? No, let me get with some wipe on there. Bending at a right angle to use the bidet. It goes on these Oh, that's a little bit there. Oh, Jay. What are you doing? Oh, that's nasty, Jay.

Turns out it was chocolate. He had a whale-style chocolate drawer. Yeah. And he was, he went backstage and he went. I took the shit, and when I was done with a chin, I got a piece of chocolate from my throat. That's what it was. That's what it was. Mystery solved.

Hey, you got in my chin. You guys ever seen that family guy episode where they have the death or only guy? Yes. Yes. His voice. Oh yeah, the, the Greek stuff deaf guy. Yeah, he has that kind of voice That's like high pitch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, when Mike, when he's just doing like and Jay Leno for long enough, it kind of fears closer. We were looking up some family guy plot like plots today And one of them was Brian starts talking with like in a Cuban accent Because he stated like a Cuban woman. It's like a hilarious Baldwin sort of thing. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. If I came in, If I came into Do Boys and just, and I was like, hey, why, how are you doing, baby? Do you think that you would, how long you think it would take you to be like, what are you doing? Is that your idea of a Cuban accent? No, I don't think Cuban sound like Elvis. Okay. To be clear.

I think I'd immediately be like, oh, hey, ready to get Elvis. Yeah, but then I was like, oh, okay. And then I just like kept talking like that. How long until you think that I, like, lost my mind? I think I just think you were doing a bit the whole time. The whole time. See, it would never work. It would just, it just wouldn't work.

I feel like at some point when we sat down to start the episode, we might be like, are you going to do the episode in that voice? Sure. All right, let's go. If you were like, roll, baby. If you're like, oh, what boys, what voice are you talking about? What voice you're talking about? Sulla, what voices you mean? How to Ho! To Spoon Nation.

There's no, at how long would you think, like, this is weird? I probably just would do Colonel Tom bits. That's what I would go into. And I'm like, oh, that's pretty good. Like, whatever, you just, I mean, like, I think, I wonder how many days it would take you to be like Mitch is being weird. Oh, he can't, he can't host a Do Wars podcast? Oh. he's quiet.

I guess the same question to me for you. You were talking like, Turtle Calm. Turtle Calm. Oh, boy. Colonel Tom Parker. Colonel Tom Parker. If you came in and you're talking like Colonel Tom Parker,

how long it would take me to think you lost your mind if you were just doing that? I think for me it'd be sooner because that's the kind of thing I would do. I wouldn't come in and be doing like a character. I'm also not talking to an Elvis voice for full episode. But you're more likely to do that than I. Yeah, it's true. Especially in this context. This is a conversation that me and Demi have had where we're like, what would it take

for us to realize that we have a fatal gas leak in our house? Yes. You know, and the answer is we wouldn't notice. That's what I'm saying. I'm wondering how long, if I did Elvis Voice for a full episode, do you think by the second episode when I came in here and started talking like that, would you be like, okay, something weird is happening? If you did a second episode yet, then yes, it would be a little bit off.

Like the next time I saw you, I was like, hey, there, why? Then you'd be like, okay, something weird is here? Even the same day, if you continued into a second episode, I'd be kind of like, are you really doing this? And I'd be like, what are you talking about? Then I'd be like, oh, yeah, so it's up. What's going on here? This is good. This is just good for me to know.

Okay, yeah. But now you've teed all this up. So now if you do that, I know what your plan is. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to come in and do it. Okay. This was just a thought experiment. I was wondering what would take for you to be like you're being weird.

I mean, you're always being weird. I bet, I bet Amelia or I would say something first. Okay, that's fair. Are you okay? Did you just watch an Elvis movie? What's going on? And if I just ignored it, I was wondering how long it would take you to... It's a crazy...

We were just saying it was a crazy plot anyways, but I'm saying how long it would take you to think that I've actually lost my mind. I mean, like, I think we've settled it. I think you could do it if you did the context of an episode. I think we already think you lost your mind. If you're in the context of an episode, I think you were doing a bit. If you were just doing it in your real life and I saw you more than once and you were still doing it, I'd be like, what's going on with Mitch.

Yes. And he'd probably text us or something and be like, what the fuck's going on. Mitch is talking like Elvis still. And then he wouldn't be able to reply because he's, of course, kidnapped by the Doty Act. Yes, yes, yes. Including today, he wasn't, he didn't come to Outback with us. He definitely did not come to Outback Steakhouse. I didn't Outback Steakhouse.

I do want to ask before you into Outback Steakhouse about your version of Burger King. Was that not a fun thought experiment? I thought it was kind of fun. It was fun and also confusing. It was confusing? I think a little bit in terms of what your motivation was for, for doing this. Like to just think about,

I just think about. I just think about. Okay. What time do you agree? I was having fun. I was having fun too. Yeah. I was having a bowl.

See, I already thought even you just doing that once, I think that you've gone crazy. Hey, buddy, there's something we keep reaching for when we did a quick, comforting, delicious meal talking about Goodalls.

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Yeah. Book today on the site or on the app. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. For some, summer is their favorite season. Travel picks up, kids are out of school, and adventure becomes the main focus. For others, juggling it can be difficult and may lead to overwhelm and counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school. Many also wonder whether they're wasting the sunny days.

Perhaps tend to those kids who are out of school. I mean, it seems to be a big thing that's occupying you. Kids are out of school. They're going back to school. Both are points of stress. You know, my summer plans are to thrive and survive. Mostly just to be alive. I just want to get out there.

I want to, you know, go to the pool, you know, maybe take my shirt off because I'm wearing some swim trunks. I'm going to get in the pool and only get my shirt wet. So, I don't know, it might get crazy. Take my shirt off. I'll get my swim trunks on. That's not that crazy. Everyone does it. that's too crazy. I probably won't do it.

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It was a calculated gambit by three Americans who'd never actually been there. But there's another Australian chain I want to ask about, which does have American origins Burger King, which in Australia is named Hungry Jack. Yes. Jacks. Hungry Jacks Are you ever Are you ever a patron of Hungry Jacks

It's literally one of the things That we make a devoted stop for When we have our American friends visit Wow So we went there with like Well you know with Pat Gill When he came to visit We took Libby and Stefan

Of the Go Off King's Block Party Yeah A friend to all Worked on your wonderful show Yes yeah Yeah And yeah We took all those guys to

Hungry Jacks for, I gotta be honest, spurious logic, but because we're like, yeah, it's better for some reason. But it is. I believe you. I believe you.

Hungry Jax is yummy. We like, they do. We like Burger King. We say BK is back. I get the Hungry Jack's menu up here. Right now they have a bistro wopper, which seems to be a wopper with a 100%

flame grilled awseye beef topped with melted Swiss cheese, grilled onions, peppercorn sauce, tomato, lettuce, and mayo on a toasted sesame bun. that looks absolutely toothsome. I eat that bad boy. This is what the show is. I know, but it's just so funny

for a guy to turn around a picture of a hamburger. And I'd eat that. It's like you just Google him and searched big hamburger. Meanwhile, me talking about if you're talking in an accent for days is crazy talk.

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golden crash ash brown, angry onions which I imagine are spicy, and a delicious spicy tomato relish all in tortilla. That looks pretty good. Can I ask you something? Yeah. Hey, can I ask you something? Yeah. Are you okay? We're just looking, I'm just looking

at the Hungry Jack's menu to see what the commonalities are between the American menu. Their LTOs are I seem interesting. The biggest win for me would be being like, something's wrong with Wags and having you taken out of here in a straight jacket. Mitch, let me,

you should take a look at this. Look how many fucking burgers they got here. We do have a lot of burgers. Look how many of those. Just keep scrolling. They got a lot of options. That's more than our Burger King. Wags?

Yeah. They are quite toothsome. Hamburger, double cheeseburger, triple cheeseburger, just a lot of burger. Yeah. A lot of burger. Did you use a Nord of VPN to? get on here? I sure did. Wow. Promocode dough for something? Promocode doughboys for an extra two months on the

four months on the two-year plan. You can keep looking at that. You can get access to the ABC app where you can watch a variety of great programming. All right. Really fun. Now here's, hey, we could watch the great Australian Bake Off, correct or no? No, not on that. But you can watch Guymont Spelling Me. That's a fun show. Okay, all right, here we go. Here's something that didn't jump out to you when he looked at this. Now I do want to check if you've lost your mind. There's a baconator at Hungry Jack.

That's what I was going to say. Oh, you were? There's a Baconator. There is a Baconator. That's a Wendy's brand here. Wendy's has a Baconator burger, but it looks like the Baconator is a Hungry Jack's label in Australia. I don't know if you meant to do this,

but why somehow got those airdrop photos. I think they were already there. He oceaned 11 to the fucking... Is Wendy's in Australia? We don't have a Wendy's really. It's going down the drain. It's going down. Wendy's is going down the drain here in the States.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's very sad. Now, you call your chicken sandwiches a chicken burger. Yeah. That's fun. Hey, straight up. That's why you guys gave me Paris Syndrome. I'm a longtime listener of this podcast.

I heard you talk about the Wendy's chicken, the Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich for so long. I had no idea what it was because we would call it a chicken burger. I finally went to a Wendy's in like 2019. I walked across like a parking lot for what felt like 40

minutes, got in there, ordered it it was a burger and I was just like, why did I do this? It sucked. Yeah. How dare you. We're sorry. It was a really... No, no, no. We should apologize for this. It was a beautiful moment of realizing like, oh yeah, it was just a

this whole time. Yeah, no, that's, I mean, there is a lot of that. But, you know, you see a lot of that on Reddit and stuff, too. Like, I read, about a guy after we had, after I had the new Wopper,

I searched Wopper on Reddit. And I, and I read about a guy who drove an hour to get the new Wopper. And I, and I was like, oh, I don't know if I would do that. Yeah.

No. But look, we're, as, we're bored creatures, Weigs, this is what happens. I will say this is interesting. It seems like the dirty soda trend has made it, its way across the,

the Pacific. It has. It is a, You dive in. They have a blue lagoon with creamer. Of course, the LDS Church here when they allowed for drinking soda that opened the wind, you know, my understanding is that the people who are of Mormon faith,

because they can't have coffee drinks, a version of that, and that leads to dirty soda, which leads to all these mix-ins like, you know, syrups and sugars and cream and sodas. Very strange to me. And they're named going after your favorite movie, it sounds like. Blue Lagoon, the movie with a 13-year-old skimply dressed,

Brooke Shields is not my favorite movie, but I understand what you're trying to say there is that I am a pedophile. It's not true. You know what? That was a good breakdown of it all. You caught me red-handed. You really gave a breakdown of it.

That's what I was trying to say. You're right. But I have news for you. Yes. Our guest, Tom, does not like soda. You don't like soda. I'm not a soda fan. What do you drink instead?

So you know you've got a LaCroix there. So you're not averse to fizz. No, certainly not. A carbonated water is... I open it at you. It hears like the horrid screams of the devil himself. No, yeah, like... I'm not fan of soda.

I'm not fan of cola. Keep the black liquid away. No, don't enjoy it at me. Very good. No, it's not very good at all. I like the bubbles and I like the syrup. God. You're also a...

Sceptic. Yeah, I'm not a big fan. Yeah. Let me guess fucking lemon cello or some bullshit instead. I mean, it is good. I don't really like sugar. You're saying a lemoncello is good. It is good.

Like, if I'm going to indulge in a sweet drink, it would be something like that. A lemoncello. What about an Italian soda? Do you like Italian sodas? Yeah. You do? I think. You don't like soda, but you do like Italian sodas?

Yeah, but I would rather a pure Lecroy, just like a flavorless. sparkling water. It's too sugary for you. Yeah, I'm very sensitive to sweet things. And the only sweets I really like are, like, chocolate and ice cream. So do you say noda? Yes.

Soda you say no to. Cola, you say Nola. Yeah. Pop, you say, stop. Wait, what? Wow. You said yes and Cola you say Nola. Yeah, that's good.

Like New Orleans? He was on a run. All right, he was on a run. Fair enough. Yeah, it was incredible. You're the only one here not enchanted. Fizz might as well be Jizz. What if you love Jiz?

If you love Jiz, that's fine. Then it's a bad... It should be like an I-Befib before E sort of thing. Except if you're me. One of the self-suck guys who hate soda is like, hey. Whoa, his boat tips over. So you don't like soda. But now that the dirty soda's over there is, are you more kin to try, more kin, whatever.

Are you more likely to try a, uh, uh, no, I just, I'm a water fan, man. I gotta have that H2O, yeah, it's good. You big water bottle guy? Oh, I love big water bottle. Yeah, that's great. Do you travel with it? I'm actually in the market for a water bottle because I tragically lost my most recent water bottle. It finally happened to me.

It can happen to anyone. Yeah, I tell you, I've had a lot of success with the Yaddi. Not a product that we endorse here on the Do Boys podcast. Not a sponsor. But this is just pure brand enthusiasm. Yeah, I like water bottle very much. Yeah, water bottle I like. Water bottle I like very much, yes.

So Mitch is a water skeptic. You sound, you do sound insane. You sounds like you lost your mind. Water bottle I like. Water bottle I like. Water bottle I like. What's hard to understand? Yeah. I get it, baby.

I like water bottle. I like a little tape. Give me a little taste of something. All right. You know, I know I get it. Gaya, she's delivered us this beautiful treat of H2O. I get it. But come on, put some flavor in there, lady.

Give me some, give me, give me, give me, get me a little something. You know what I mean? Yeah, I got her saying. A little something in there. But you can put a little squeeze of lemon or lime in there. Is it okay when Mitch pets, a pet's the dog for emphasis? Or is that like, generally frowned upon? She loves a buck.

She's really sweet. She's a good dog. She's a good dog. I'm going to say this. Okay. I Susser was let out of the dodiak he came in chains But he did come today to To Outback's day

He does get leave He does get leave And he takes advantage of it He showed up A little after I showed up And well before I showed up And then well before you showed up And I just want you to know why because I said

Do you want me to put it in an order for you This came directly from Suss Yes Because Susser also had a hard out. Well, you had to get back to the Dodiac. If he misses his curfew, he's going to lose his privileges. I guess, yeah, he had to be back with the dodiak at

545. Right. And I was just like, why the fuck did you come to this if you're going to fucking run? What the fuck are you doing? Because he wanted a free meal. He wanted to speed eat three quarters of a steak and then run out. It was crazy. He fucking sped ate that fucking steak. It was like the only

thing he's been trained to do in isolation is speed eating me. Came said we need to put in the order. were at work, I was like, you're going to get mad at me for like being like, hey, can we put in the order? You didn't care. I didn't care. No, I actually set my order over it. And it was great because it timed out because I arrived and wait about five minutes. It did time out perfectly, but he just wanted his fucking free steak. Yeah. Bought the most expensive steak on the menu, as did I, but about the most expensive steak on the menu, ate it in less than five minutes. I mean, like,

maybe less than three minutes. Truly, we all looked away from him because we were talking to Nick, who just arrived. And then when we looked back, it was only when he said, All right, well, and you looked back and everything was, it was just plain. Everything was gone. It was crazy. Well, the broccoli was there. The broccoli was there. And I think I know why, because he ordered the broccoli with cheese, I believe, and I think it just came as broccoli.

So maybe that is why the broccoli was still there. Maybe the cheese was there and I just didn't see it. It all came off in one sheet. Like when a magician, like, whips a tablecloth off a table, he just grabbed it, shump in to the mouth. A sheet of cheese and it's just broccoli there. It was, it was, I don't want to call it impressive because it kind of pissed me off, but it was impressive. Yeah, and then he was gone, Wags, very, very quick into this meal. He's back with the Dodiac now.

But also, while you weren't there, I'm going to say this, too. Tom, I thought you were the one who requested to go to Outback Steakhouse. And Nick was like, we're going to go. It's going to be a pain in the ass. Wags, you're the one who actually asked him to go to fucking Outback Steakhouse. I pitched it because you didn't, you were like, you were like, let me think on it a little bit. And I was like, you know, I mean, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, Is it racist if we go to Outback Steakhouse?

Yeah. And you were like, you were like, oh, I'd totally go to that. But I thought you fucking learned your lesson on your last podcast. We found out. We found out. That was good. We found out you went to Outback Steakhouse two days earlier. Yeah, I didn't know that you guys were taking me.

But you didn't tell me this. No, because I got, I was, I, so Libby Watson, who was at the meal with us today, a mutual friend, Past Do Boy's guest, Pasto Future. Yeah, she and I were at Outback Steakhouse because I was like, oh, let's all go with Lewis.

And, yeah, when we were at that meal, I got the message saying, like, so are you good to go to Outback Steakhouse at 4 p.m? So in three days, I've eaten at Outback Steakhouse twice. Also, and you're here for three days, and there's great food here. And you did go to quarter sheets, which was great.

It was lovely, yeah. Okay, sorry. But it was also, and I haven't told you guys this, I did, I was really embarrassed at the idea of going to Outback Steakhouse as an Australian. So I did an American accent. The first visit. The first visit, the guy pulled out on the table. I was like, yeah, actually, I was thinking of appetizers.

Is this true? Yeah. And then, like, we ordered like a round of drinks for the table. And he was like, all right, so I'm just going to get some IDs. And I was like, all right, I got a driver's license or passport. And he's like, oh, let's go passport. I pull out my Australian driver's license and my Australian passport, and I feel humiliated.

That's good. Pass him over. He does not make a scene of it. We get up to the point where we order a second round of drinks. And I finally, as he's like, would you like another beer? I was like, actually, yeah, that would actually, I got to admit, man, I'm Australian. I'm sorry. I'm just doing a voice because I didn't, I was embarrassed to be here.

And he was like, oh. And now he, now I bet you that guy's like not sure if now you're, this is the whole voice. Literally. This is life as a Harold. This is the voice. This guy now is not sure if you're fucking crazy or if you're fucking with them or what the deal is. And then when we went today, the lady was like, I don't actually know. Is your voice like Australian?

She thought you were fucking around for doing a fake Australian accent. You were just only speaking Australian the entire time. You're only speaking Australian. You're only speaking with your normal accent the entire time. It's the only place where it or it's a place where Americans would do that sort of thing. Like they would go into an obnoxious sort of Australian accent for the fun of it. You think I have an obnoxious? I don't think your accent is obnoxious.

I think an American doing a cartoonish impression of it. Do you think I sound cartoonish? I don't think you sound cartoonish. I am just comparing an American doing... I don't think it's cartoonish. I would never marry one of your kinds, but... Fair enough. Yeah.

Well, I kind of like a mud person. Yeah. It's like an American... Oh, I do. No, thank you. Yeah, no. The whole time it's crazy. I'm joking. You know, you sound like a Harry Potter character.

Yeah. I like Australian accents. I think they're funny and cool. It is funny and cool, but it is like... And also, it can be very cool sometimes. It's, well, I don't know, man. It's weird getting, like, a health advice from a doctor. That's...

Okay, I cannot... Like, and I say there's someone who just, like, watches a lot of TV, so you get kind of endued to American accents, and then, like, you're watching the pit, you know, and Dr. Robbie just sounds so wise and everything. And I go to my doctor, and she's just like, yeah, I know. Have you tried antidepressants? Like, wow.

Mitchell, we're back at Outback Steakhouse. Our fourth ever episode of Doe Boys was at Outback Steakhouse making it John Gabris. Making his first appearance on the podcast, John Gabris. Look at that little trip down memory line. Look at that picture. Hell yeah. Babies.

Back in the day. You look the same. Do I? You look, you're wearing the exact same wardrobe. Yeah. I thought I looked kind of fat in that photo. You got, well, okay. But I mean like in terms of like.

But also I gotten so fat that maybe I've lost weight to just, You don't look like you've aged. Oh, that's nice. You don't look like you've aged. You have the same beard, you have the same haircut, and you have the same Celtics hat you always wear. Let me see this bad boy. I actually feel like looking at that earlier, I was like, it feels like looking at this picture. All three of you since that picture have like figured out your style, your vibe.

Because like you're wearing jeans in that picture. Oh, he was wearing a long sleeve shirt and jeans. I don't think I've seen you wear jeans in like eight years. Yeah, I don't wear jeans. I don't wear jeans me. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to be honest with you. If I saw a news bulletin that a would-be attempt of an assassination of President Trump happened

and this was the picture, I would not be surprised. I would be surprised because I feel like he would be saving it for the left-wing candidate. You look like an attempted assassin. Yeah, sure. Whatever. People have compared me to my passport forward to Jeffrey Doburn's bugshot. It looks very similar. You look, I've known you for a long time, and you look so hard.

hokey in this picture. Like you, like, and you're not like a hokey guy like this. It's a different, it's a different look. I had like the, you know,

the more of a conover buff font, just kind of my, my hair, I had this wave that I did my hair in. Also, by the way, I know my boy wouldn't miss. Oh yeah.

Wow. If he's out to, if he's out to assassin someone, he's gonna do it. Right. Parity, fair use. But I used to wear long sleeve shirts

and I used to, and I used to wear pants, all that time. And that used to just be my look. And then a certain point, I was like, you know what? I've fun in the sun. I guess we shouldn't say stuff like this with a foreigner here. I'm thinking about why you're getting confused because he's trying to work out how to pull up to Donald Trump when he's standing on the side of the road and asking him to lean into his car. Hang here outside the White House with his arm in a cast.

Conspicuously trying to move a couch. Trying to work out how to get the president to come help him. My usual tactics. Here's an excerpt for my intro from that episode in 2015. In the late 1980s, nothing was bigger in America than Australia. The success of the films Crocodile Dundee and Young Einstein, along with music acts like In Excess and Midnight Oil, put the former Peelot colony at the forefront of American Consciousness.

In 1988, a group of Florida-based restaurateurs saw an opportunity to capitalize on this trend, settling on an Australian theme for their new Steakhouse concept. So, yeah, they were in Florida. They were going to do a steakhouse anyway. and they're like, let's see, Australia's big. These movies are hits. And, you know, like, let's fucking make an Australian chain. Why the hell not?

And so it ends up with this like Australian pastiche where they've just got like didgeridoo's and kangaroos and boomerangs everywhere. The dishes are given completely nonsensical names. Yes. Alice Springs Chicken is the three words that have never been put together in Australia. It is literally just like a city. Right. The Sydney salad has absolutely.

no bearing on Sydney. It's the Toowoomba whatever. Yeah, it's mental. It's crazy. So as like kind of culturally insensitive as this restaurant was being, or I guess racist or whatever you want to say. Oh, to be clear, I don't give a shit because we don't have a culture. Like, go ahead and use white Australia up, dude.

What fuel it gives you. It sucks. I was just going to say that as bad as the restaurant was being, Susser was being worse when he was there. He asked you, I over heard him ask you, he said, do you think American kids have touched boomerangs less than Australian kids? Yeah.

It was before you got here. Good question. How do you've been in your life? Here's the thing, though. In the 80s, boomerangs did become a thing. This is before you guys were around. There was a craze.

There was a craze for boomerang. So I did, I like did have a boomerang at one point. Let me tell you that motherfucker did not work. No, no, there's hard to make that bad work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's, is that TIG? Is that TIG? Yeah, Hansel was recording.

TIG. I would love TIG. I love TIG. We're at her wedding. And Stephanie. I love them both. But Susser asked that. Then a Susser also asked

if Tom and Libby knew if they knew each other or if Wager just invited Libby because she was British. I think he thought that maybe you'd invited her to keep an eye on me as a representative of the ruler of the Commonwealth.

Right, right. Yeah. That's, yes. Maybe that's what it was. I don't know. I don't know what your plan was. Your friends. Yeah, I was staying with Libby.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I, by the speaking of the Brit accent, that's the smartest one of all. That's where people respect you the most. I mean, if you're like, I there, then no. That's a thing, there's a lot of variance.

There's a wide variety of ways to sound British, and some of them are crazy. I think British acting, I think people always like just respect British actors so much. I mean, a lot of times these actors are very good. Well, yeah, it's the fact that they made it out there also. Yes, sure, yeah.

There's so many British actors, man. Yeah, yeah, I know, too many. Oh, so beautiful. But I'm saying, like, they, I feel like people are like, what a performance when they hear a British actor just because they sound very dignified a lot of the time. Yes. You don't think so? No, I think so.

I mean, I think a posh British accent, like an educated, upper class, twit sort of British accent, Americans are like, they fawn over that. Yes. But if we go all the way to Lurzee, you know, whatever, a cockney rhyming slang sort of accent, then that's the sort of thing where it's, you know, it sounds, just sounds like, it's their version of a hick, right? Yeah, if you've got like a scouse accent, like Patty Pimblet or whatever, I'm not sure what other famous scouses there are. But like I... I like all this. I'm digging what I'm hearing right now.

Oh, Scouse is a hell of an accent, man. It's a drug. Wow. Once you hear it, you can't hear anything else. It's the only music and sound you'll want in your life. I barely even know of a scouser. Oh. It's a beautiful person, isn't it?

Like, that's the kind of shit you're dealing with. It's so good. Sorry to any scouse people listening. What makes a scouse? It's people from Liverpool, unless it's not. In which case, don't worry about it. Because that's one of the, which beetle was that? Which beetle is? They all from us?

Oh, they're all from Liverpool. I thought so. But they don't have the scouse accent. None of the Beatles have scouse accents. Oh, great. I don't know. Made her guess cry. I don't know. Ask me something about Australia.

We were ranking Beatles the other. Oh, we talked about this. You were ranking Beatles? No, in that text shit. You said Abby Road is your least favorite album. Oh, Beatles album. I didn't say it was my least favorite album. You said you ranked it below Sergeant Pepper's.

Yeah, I like Sergeant Peppers more than Abby Road. I like Abby Road. Okay, all right, sorry. I just, I don't know. Least favorite? Where's this coming from? I don't know. We were ranking them.

I don't know. I was watching wrestling, listening to Abby Road, when I start hearing this heresy from you, That's what it was up to at the time, Mitch. What the fuck? AW on the TV. She's so heavy playing for my stereo. I think that you're not listening to the Beatles.

I think this motherfucker's not listening to the Beatles. I'm listening to Beatles. Mean Mr. Mustard? Oh, the Beatles. Silverhammer. Come on, I know all these. You're listening to those songs specifically? No, I'm just saying I'm listening tracks from Abby Road.

I believe you. I believe. I'm sorry. Here comes the sun. I love here comes the sun. Yeah, well. I think some people think it's dorky. I didn't mean to.

It seems like you're pissed at me today. You just said it's my least favorite. You said we were ranking albums. You said I'd actually put Abbey Road below Sergeant Pepper. So for me, I thought that meant that was your bottom, your bottom, your least favorite Beatles. I don't know. I think when you start going to like back to like meet the Beatles, you know, if you start

thinking of that era, sure, sure, sure. Okay, right, fair enough, fair enough. Of the big ones. I'd put help lower than Abbey Road. Okay, all right, great. There we go. Yellow submarine, yeah, it's lower. All right, that's all right.

We cleared it up. This doesn't ever be hostile. I agree with you. I like rubber soul. I like revolver. By the way, I agree with you. It does not have to be hostile. Are we including solo albums?

Like, those wings are part of this conversation? Oh, shit. I mean, George Harrison. To me, I think it's something different. But yeah, I think it's fair to enter into the picture. Do you like the Beatles? Hell no. Love this.

Oh, it all sucks. No, I don't know it. I don't know it. I'll listen to. What do you listen to? Yeah. Is there an Australian band? about me.

ACDC, is that the most, are they New Zealand or are they Australia? No, they're Australian. They are Australian. They're kind of, yeah, I don't know, I don't listen to that kind of stuff. I listen, the, the chats, I don't know, fucking six-liter GTR, whoever does that song. Oh, so these are like cool bands. Amel and the Sniffers is a good Australian band. That sounds like an Australian band. Amel and the Sniffers is a good.

Allen and the Sniffers? Amel. Amel and the Sniffer. Still pretty good. Yeah, they got a song about jerking on your squatter. Like, it's, uh, yeah, it's good stuff. I'm into that. Yeah. You know who's your joy? What is it?

Amel and the sniffers. Amel and the sniffers. These two motherfuckers, sniff, your fucking sniff, get sniffs of people when they walk on the doors. Yeah. And I'm jerking on the squatters, too.

Yeah. Ugh. Who do you think is the best? That only means one thing. There's no like double meaning to that. No, I know. The last time we reviewed Outback was in 2021 during the pandemic.

By sheer coincidence. our guest was our guest two weeks ago, Kevin's own Joe Wengert. Wangert came for our Zoom Outback episode. And let me just say this. This is an observation I made going through the Do Boys Wiki. And shout out to our buddy Vinod who maintains it. We can see the inshittification of everything in microcosm via our declining fork scores for Outback Stakehouse. So 2015.

Weiger 4, Mitch 3 and a half, Gabris 4. Good scores. Wow. 2018. Wait, wait, I was the holdout? You were the holdout. You kept it out of the golden plate point. Which may not have existed that point.

It may not be canon yet. Fourth episode. Yeah, I don't think so. Wow. 2018, Weiger 2.5 forks, Mitch 2 and a half forks, our guest, Leanne Bowen, three forks. 2021, Weiger 1.5 forks. Mitch 2 and a half forks, Joe Wenger 2. So we're seeing a steady decline.

Yeah. Interesting. Where has it gone today? We're post-pandemic. We're post-pandemic. Did it pick up a little bit from post-pand. We went in person to the Burbank location. for an early dinner.

That's right. Hanger 28. Yeah. In this weirdly themed Burbank, uh, it's right near Burbank Airport. The Empire Center. We love Burbank Airport. Everyone here except for Wiger loves Burbank Airport. I like Burbank Airport.

You're never flying out of there because there's no Australian flights from Burbank. I love airport. You love airport. I was having a good time there. Yeah, you're a, you're a Burbank boy, but you're a west side guy. You want to be a Burbank boy, but you're a west side guy. Why would I, what would I have against the Burbank Airport? I hate it.

Oh my God. It's another fucking Beatles fucking, the Beatles wrestling fucking Burbank airport. We all had a great time with the Burbank airport. You live closer to the LAX airport. Yes, I live closer to another airport. You're not, you're not looking to go out of there. You would always go out of L.A. It's, well, my work is thankfully right by Burbank now, so it makes sense in some ways.

Like I went to, I landed and went straight to the. office, you know, from the live show from San Jose. But the, like, like, Burbank is just such a small. You're going up to Burbank Airport. You got Abby Roe blast and you got AEW playing on your fucking iPhone. You like Burbank Airport. Jesus Christ. This shopping center, but I do find the shopping center a little depressing.

It's a little depressing. It's just like what America is, which is these, these gigantic sprawling surface parking lots. And then just like dotted with like whatever chain. chain retail and chain restaurants. What's making you nervous? Your behavior. I think we've spent too much time together. What does he mean?

My behavior is making you nervous? Are you nervous? Are you nervous? No, I'm chill. We're having fun. This is like the most deluxe I've been old known. No, people are usually really nervous when you go, are you nervous when you ask them that question?

Where's this coming from? What behavior is making you nervous? Yeah, what am I doing? I don't know. Should we take a breather? If you like to. I feel like maybe I'm calm because I'm closer to Wiger on the spectrum

than I am Mitch. I think that's a great time. I think the gate guy set you off, the smelly gate guy. Oh, fuck. I was waiting for that guy to try us up, though. I was swung on to that. Jesus Christ.

If I was walking in and I saw you sucker punch the gate guy as I was walking in. I was close to it. What the, Put yourself in my situation. A stinky man comes up to you. Also, to be fair, people

walk up to that door completely unprompted sometimes. Sure. And they like, hold on a second. I know. I am here. So I'm thinking it's this guy. I thought that's what was happening when I saw this happening. And I say, what do you, like, can I help you? And he just points at one of the women who work here and says,

I want her. I was unnerved. I was like, okay, this guy needs to get the fuck out of here. I would not immediately give that guy her. I did not. All right, how much? Yeah, you would, you would bargain him up.

You gotta think about All right, but we're gonna have one of yours. You're gonna think of it from his perspective. You're sympathizing with King Kong here. You're gonna think of his perspective. He walks up a good smelling guy. Alrighty, that's kind of an insult to him. This guy doesn't like Abby Road.

He doesn't like wrestling. He hates the Burbank Airport. You're giving those vibes off. I'm through with you You're through with me Wyger actually gave me a lift From the restaurant to the That's true

He's got a new car My car is stinky And all the way of there He had a barrel in his mouth And he was kind of pulling the trigger Every time he turned Is today you're falling down No, I was having a good day

The gate guy was a weirdo He seemed like a weirdo I was thrown off because we were supposed To get out an hour earlier And then we just kept going and I scheduled something around me being because I had, it was like 10 minutes from where I worked to

where the restaurant was. You're doing great. You're doing great. I'm doing, yeah, I thought I was. So I ordered the Sydney salad. Yeah, please. The Sydney salad with with the crooktail, of course,

which is the limited time offer, which came with a small... I guess nervously getting us back on subjects. You're right, you are more of a waggingy the way you just did that. Right, yeah. I like to live in the mug. I'm taking the rides hour a few times

and let's just say, we're in the money. How is that? We're pushing triple digits. You know how to docks his car, but how was that ride? I liked it. It was smooth. And here's how... Also another sign, spectrum buddies.

As I opened the door, it's like, what a satisfying door mechanism. And I heard why I can say over my shoulder. I know, right? Both of us like a solid. It's a good door. It's a good door. I believe you.

I believe you like it. The croctail is fedca vodka, Midori, Kiwi, mango, citrus juices with a shimmer and a crocodile to keep. You got that crocodile. I got that crocodile. Wow. And it has outback written on the bottom on its belly, which is cute.

It's a branded croctile. But you had some of it too, Mitch, and I think our... I took a sip of it and I was like, I don't know what just happened. I agree with you. It was like, what is this? What is happening here? What's happening to me? In what sense? I didn't have any of it.

It wasn't unpleasant, but it was a... I don't taste this taste almost ever sort of thing. It was like a new color. Again, not in an unpleasant way. But it was just like, I don't know what just... A series of flavors happened one after the other in such a confusing way that it felt like a binaural beat almost. Wow.

It felt like something odd had happened. But again, not in any exemplary or extraordinary way. It was just really hard to categorize. I agree 100%. I'm still laughing at your saying you're through with it. to me. Trying to do a podcast here. I get the strawberry kiwi-rita,

which you got that Mitch, which is the... Yeah, you didn't get it. You did get it. You did take a sip of it. It's just juices, yeah. You did take a sip of it. You did.

What did you think? I liked it. And Kiwis, a word for New Zealanders. That's right. Not far from now. How fun is that? Nearby neighbors.

Yeah. You're nearby neighbors. The Canada of Australia. Yeah. Straight up the better. Yeah. Oh, really? Is that how you guys feel about New Zealanders? That's not like, I don't think that I'm the median Australian, but I enjoy every New Zealander that I've been lucky enough to meet. Is there, is there any sort of rivalry between the two guys or no?

Yeah, there's rugby rivalries, the sports rivalries. But overall, you guys play in the Australian league, correct? The basketball league? I was just thinking of that. Yeah. Yeah. And of course, Drew Timmy plays for the Lakers. Right. Yes. Of course. Drew Tim. are is it is that sort of uh it's so it's you guys overall are friendly you love each yeah we're not like angry at each other which we it was like us in canon until i guess that's

kind of changed a little bit uh like uh yeah that's changed yeah you guys are kind of in the uh you know the lovers to enemies arc yeah they don't i think rightfully don't like us which is they shouldn't i mean yeah yeah we don't like us Mitch can you go ahead and flip that dog here, Beck. But she is licking my hand. I really like that she's looking her hand. Jemmy, Jimmy's ear is a little bit. There we go. Uh-oh. There it is. Does it bother her? Do we know? I don't know. Sometimes she has both of them up and I call it her shower cap because it looks

like she's a shower cap. That's really sweet. Look at me like that and I think it's cute. I also think sometimes she takes a nap and she has one up and I wonder if it's her like listening for movement. Like she's like, I'm going to take a nap, but I'm going to leave one ear out just in case like, I leave the room. And then she's like, I'm up, let's go. Where are we going? It is crazy being a dog and be like, I wonder how much of your own ear you're hearing. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Flip flat, flip flat, flip flat. You can talk. It's a safe space. You can tell us. Yeah, go on. Oh, man, if she talked. You guys ever do that thing where you lie down and make eye contact with a dog as a child and say you can talk to me if you can? I won't tell anyone. I do it to her every day. Dude, it's so cool. That hits.

Wow, she's so noble. Are you zooming in on her? She's a gorgeous pup. One day soon. Libby got a brew dog, but she did not get a Fosters. No. What is the Fosters consumption like in Australia? Is it commonly drunk in there?

Is it just like this is like a fucking shitty beer that's... Yeah, no, I would drink it. I don't like think I've seen it on offering many pubs. It's just like a... It's what Americans think we drink and so it's over here. We had, I remember we had Australian students visiting my high school, Long Beach, probably high, homeless scholars and champions, famous alumni include a Snoop Dog

and Cameron Diaz. Some Australian kids were visiting and I was talking with one of them and he was like really into Budweiser. He was like Budweiser's the best beer. That's what we drink over there. I was like, that's interesting. So like Budweiser is your fosters.

Because it's like a like not that Americans all drink fosters, but it's just like there was the novelty of like, oh, fosters, okay. Especially we get that big ass can. I think there was a run of like, like pop punk fans in Australia, which is like, I'm sure a very unsettling thing to imagine for you guys. Like an Australian Scar fan is really upsetting.

But like us being obsessed with like PBR. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't even do beer anymore. And that's why I got my, my kiwi strawberry. You've never read a limerita. No, I was a beer man for a very long time. I loved beer. When did you stop being a beer man? Because I feel like most of the time I've known you have not been a beer. Probably towards

the end of my 20s and going to, like I transfer over sour beers. Like, oh, I like sour beers. It's around 30 or so. I always, I always think of you, and I guess I knew you in your 20s, but I always think of you as being like more of a cocktail guy. I was a budd-l-lite. I was always drinking Bud-Light. Yeah, I guess you would, you would

take down a Bud-Light. And the lineup has, of course, Guinness and Bud-Light as part of it. Bud-Light, like I would always yeah, that was always Bud-Light or yeah, mostly just Bud-Light. I'm a cocktail guy, or a cider. I do sweeter stuff.

But you did get a bloomin onion, which is kind of their signature app. You got a bite of it. You kind of came towards the end. It was almost all gone when I showed up. But, you know, I've had the bloomin onion a number of times. I think it's fun. I'm more of an Aussie cheese fries guy as far as the Outback apps go. But I think the bloomin onion is a signature of their as, and it's the way to go.

This is, like, indicative of the kind of thing you were saying, Tom. I can comments on anything. If you like the cheese fries, you're not. No, I'm just baffled by an Aussie cheese fry. They exist. Aussie cheese fries are Aussie cheese fries topped with melted Monterey Jack. You all got that there, right? Monterey Jack from Monterey, California.

Cheddar and chopped bacon served with house-made ranch dressing. This sounds Australian as fuck to me. Yeah. They also have fried mozzarella boomerangs now, which I was interested in. But this is like they have the Cucabura wing. Cucabura is just a bird, right? Sydney Shrooms and Gold Coast coconut shrimp. They're just kind of assembling.

Australian geographic location. It's a series of random things that if anyone was eating in in Australia, I would assume that they are trying to bomb a synagogue. Like, it is a series of random patriotism indicators that are completely meaningless. Susser was really angling to get the Cucobarra wings. He was like, now, I don't know if you guys have had the Cucuboureroy Wings. He was like, yeah, we've had them a bunch.

And he was like, okay. And it was like clear Susser was trying to get wings out of that interaction. Cookabaras are cool. Do you guys know what a kookabara is? It's like a kingfisher. No, but I did not know that. And also, you, you told some, you dropped some platypus knowledge that made us all sad. Plotipus venomous. Yeah. Yeah, platypus has a poison on it. The male platypus has a spur on its hind leg that if it gets you, it'll hurt you for a long time. Yeah, we were sad to hear that because we thought they were like, oh, we thought they were the cool ones. They're still cool. They just have a lot of

hate in their hearts. Yeah. I think it's cool. A venom spur is like a nice little like, trick. Yeah. Because you're not expecting that. No. Boom, there you go. Yeah.

It's like how like the, you know, the KGB would murder a guy. Yeah, right? It's like, boom, just kind of got you it with a little spur. Yeah. Now you got some sort of radium poisoning and you're going to be dead in three days. It's like finding out that an antelope has like a poison-tipped umbrella. Right. That it carries around.

Yeah, that's, I mean, it's cool. You were kind of saying that directly towards me when you were saying that. I was getting nervous. I can murder you with a venomous spur. Don't murder. Don't murder me with a venomous. Do it with your, do it with your fucking hands. hands, you coward.

If I can get them around your throat. I can't help it. The muscle memory kicks in. I'm just smiling. Just choking you off, sucking myself off. Would that be? Almost a percentage sign? I was trying to think of what the fuck that would look like.

Yeah, yeah. What emoji is that? What did you think of the blooming onion? I'm going to say this. If this is like an indicator of the economy and the insidification of the world, I don't know, recession indicator, whatever it is, you would think that I thought the bloomin onion today was pretty good. I thought that it was, we've had it before and it's been a little too oily.

I thought today's was decent. Some people, though, were so-so-on. I feel like I felt like Susser was saying that the sauce wasn't good. But I thought that it was a very decent blooming onion today. Certainly, I can't judge it because it had been sitting there for a while. It was almost all gone. But the chunks I had were greasy as hell. But did you, on your previous visit, did you get a blooming onion?

I did. This is my second blooming onion in three days. And that, I think, is going to show up in an autopsy, no problem. I think if they saw that in my autopsy, they were just like, yeah, no, okay, it was, he caused himself. Self-harm. I think that, like, the blooming onion, I can't tell if it was good or not. I will say I would have finished that whole thing if you guys weren't there because it was like greasy and shitty and like crunchy and onion. But I don't think it was good and it was certainly way too greasy.

You know, it's one of those items that's like it looks fun enough and then you pull on it and it disintegrates even a little bit. Maybe it's depressed. Maybe it did suck. Maybe it was because look, I'll just get right into it, Wags. I got the down under Delmonico rib eye. Yes. This 15 ounce bad boy. What did they say about it?

Thick Marble Cut, known for its rich flavor in tenderness. This was one of the more expensive stakes. It wasn't the most expensive. It was about 35 bucks. I think there was a 45 on a bone in. I took my first bite of this and I was like, this is just not good meat. It just wasn't, it was good. It looked like low quality meat.

It looked like low quality meat. They forgot my garlic butter, which they did bring to the table. I slathered the garlic butter on there and was like doing okay with it. I just was I was bummed out by the because this is this is a new cut they have on here. I was like, ooh,

it seems like this is going to be, this could be like a decent steak. Because look, a $35 steak, you can get an okay piece of meat for $35. You know what I mean? Like that's, 35 bucks isn't nothing.

It's kind of expensive. I know we're in the shitification of the world. And I know 35 bucks means nothing. And if you get like a good steak at like a non-chain restaurant is at 85 bucks for like the basic and one that's, That's like pretty decent. I don't know. I think taxonomically, when we were trying to classify these restaurants, and this was

something we may have even hit upon in the Gabris episode, this restaurant basically falls under Dad's birthday. Like, it's like, like a dad comes here. It's like, oh, this is a special occasion restaurant. You're going to spend a little bit more than you will at like an I hopper, a Denny's. But, and so you expect it a little bit more for your dollar. But I just feel like the quality of it has declined enough where... So who's going to go and do that?

And also, this is the other thing of, like, the middle is kind of fallen out of all these places. So, like, why not just go to a high-end steak house or steak one of the, you know, in some ways, going out for a steak as a fool's errand because it's one of the easiest things to make in your home. And it's one of the most cost savings you can have. Just get yourself a high-quality steak at the market and, you know, a pansear that some bitch, you know, a pan roasted to finish it in the oven. You're sitting pretty. So why settle for an Abbey Road? We can have a white album.

I like Abby Eurod, but I do like white album better. Me too. Yeah, so that's fine. So we agree. So what's the problem? There's no problem. Great. You got the Fresh Sydney salad with steak, Tom.

I did. And this one, you seem to really enjoy this. Mixed greens, arugula, cucumbers, tomato, bacon, pepitas. Yeah. Which are toasted pumpkin seeds. Blue cheese crumbles, balsamic glaze, a choice of dressing topped with steak. You got like an Italian dressing, it seemed like? Yeah, this felt like it.

this felt like it kept the most outback steakhouse out of the equation, right? Like it kept the most hands off of the ball. You kind of got a set. You just, yeah, you did get a salad. It was just straight up meat plus salad. Yeah, yeah. Which is like, oh, okay, I'm getting ingredient food. And that was good.

It was good to get stuff that was just like ingredient food and then a rich sauce. Yeah. I liked that. Because previously I'd had the, on my first trip, I had the like five ounce sirloin and the Alice Springs chicken and fries. and we were trying to puzzle over what the meat tasted like, me and Libby, and Libby came up with, she was just able to say, this just tastes like blood. Yes.

It did. My steak did have just a little bit of like blood or whatever. Like, it just felt like meat. And that's not to say that it was like rare. It was just like, no, this just tastes, it doesn't taste like the meat. I can only taste blood. I remember Libby, I mean, Libby, because it relayed this to me as well, and her formulation was tasted of blood,

which sounded worse to me. Yes, yes, that's right. And it's just a British way of putting it, but tasted of blood. It tasted of blood. It tasted of blood. Yeah. Yeah, it was just straight up bad.

The meat was bad, but then, like, chopped up in a little steak medallions, mixed through with, like, some... The crispy salad gave a little bit of relief. You know, it was a meaningful sojourn from the attempts at flavor by the Outback Steakhouse Corporation, which I appreciated.

I had the Burger And this is the thing Let me look at least Exactly what it's called I think it was called The Outback burger Is that what the fuck it was?

I think it is Yeah I think it's the Outback Burger They have two burgers there Is that like a half pound Outback burger or something It was a big boy Yeah the half pound outbacker I apologize burger Half pound burger with pickles

Lettuce, onion and tomato With your choice of cheese Y'all got it with American cheese Which I appreciate That's right I ordered it for you And with their fries too And hey I like the Outback Steakhouse fries

That's the thing I will say. I think their fries are good quality for this kind of restaurant. Libby did order a side of fries with their wedge salad, and as you pointed out, Tom, it was a poultry portion of fries. You could count the fries. Yeah. And I'm no rain, man. I could just easily sit there and count up the fries in, I mean,

that would have only taken a few minutes before. You counted fries on the podcast, but this felt like who was working the friar was Uncar plot because Libby got about one quarter portion. I should text Libby for a fork score. I'm going to do that now. Okay. Susser gave two and a half forks. Yeah.

And then he went back to the Dodiak. Dordiak taking his phone, putting it in a yonder bag. Do you want to give your, do you want to give your folks? There was, uh, there. Putting it in the bucket. Dotyac raises the bucket up. He does that instead of texting his family. Um, I, uh,

I, there was a thing, why, because when I ordered your burger, there was this thing with the waitress that was like, like, where I was like, just so you know, I'm like not ordering two meals. And then she kind of played into it too and was like, do you want like, does he want fries or like was joking that like I was getting? But Susser was kind of annoying because I was like, what does he want is, what temperatures he want his burger? So I didn't know. So I just, I knew you. I said medium or error. Yeah, that's a totally fair choice.

Now the thing I didn't know, I know a lot about you. I don't know some things, clearly, but I do know a lot about you. I do know, and I said medium rare, and then this is the thing that I questioned afterwards, was, I'm not going to get into wrestling or I'm not going into any of that stuff. Don't worry. I'm not going, I'm not going there. I am not going to go there. I'm not going to do it.

I said, they said, what cheese do you want? I didn't know, I was like, does he want a cheddar cheese? That's the only thing I was like, would you want to cheddar over an American cheese? Here's the thing. All I texted was, because I didn't look at the menu closely, all I texted was Outback Burger. I had made peace with any decision you were going to make on my behalf. I assumed it came with fries, so I'm glad you got fries. I, like, as far as temperature.

We did choose fries for you. Thank you very much. And whatever temperature that it came at, I would have been fine with. Medium rare is totally fine with me. Medium rare is totally fine. I'd probably order medium rare for a steak and medium for a burger, but medium rare is totally fine. And I thought it was cooked well in the temperature. I actually liked my burger.

I cut that some bitch in half I wolfed down one half pretty quickly Susser style Yeah I thought it was pretty fucking good Also just one as long as I'm talking about When you ordered the food Mitch I do want to make some time for the fact that you During your order said

Okay cool and what I'll get is the And then you said your order and then you said I mean he stole my order so I'm mad at him Pointing at Souser This is true You immediately threw I threw Susser stole your order Susser well to be clear I did say

I'm going to get the Monaco said, and then he did get the same thing. But did he steal it? I don't know if he stole it. I don't think this is a thing to hold a grudge over. I don't hold a grudge over it. Because multiple people can order the same thing at a restaurant. I agree with that.

Okay. See, I have no issue with that. Yeah. And I think that you can tell from the way I'm responding that I'm not mad. I can't tell you're not mad. Isn't it interesting how the best way to prove that you're not mad is to say you're not mad? Yeah. I'm afraid of you today.

Why are you afraid of me? I'm a friendly guy. I'm your friend. I fucked up. I fucked up with the heavy road and shit. I fucked up. Everything's fine. It was just confused.

I fucked up today. You did. Great. You're doing great. Don't worry. But that fucking stinky gate guy comes back. Swing on a dad. Slipping at 20 to say, I want him.

Mitch, I'm sorry To keep Emilio One of us has to go I see you choking the guy And be like fucking Mitch I like Happy Road Just screaming at this fucking guy Doing Jack Rachel moves on him

Break his arm Break his legs You were disappointed by the steak I was really really disappointed Now you got some coconut shrimp on the side Now this is a thing we've talked about With Gabris For another episode

Coconut Shrimp Kind of a house item Kind of a penthouse item. I think that it was one of the floor is high. Libby said that coconut shrimp was her bite of the night in the last visit. That's true. Two days ago or a day. In the non-canon appearance where, of course, Libby and Lewis and I went to Abak Steakhouse by ourselves.

The coconut shrimp was Libby's bite of the night. What was the timeline exactly? Because I proposed Outback Steakhouse to you. You said you do that. They were at the restaurant. You were at the restaurant when I did that because it was a separate text to confirm a time that came a little bit later. Yes. We were at that point at the restaurant.

Okay. And you had texted us, like, saying, okay, cool, do you want to go at 4 p.m.? Yeah, on Monday at like, yeah, 8.38 p.m. We had just gone to the tail end of the meal. Got it. Yeah. You could have said we're here now, actually. Can we do something else?

I thought it would be really funny to eat out back that much. I mean, it was funny that you didn't tell me. And then I showed up and you said, I just came here and Libby said the same thing. So I guess you were right. And also like, it's nice to... You're going to find this gate guy. He replaces Drop King.

Next episode, you can just rock up and have him wrapped up like a present for Wigar. Like National Lampoos Christmas Vacation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just, I don't know, put like a whole bunch of tops over one room like Dexter and have the gate guy in there. Let him do whatever he needs to. Fucking stinks in there when you're done.

Let's just make sure we really hit on the tea there. A gate guy. That's what I'm looking at. I want to fight a gate guy. Gates guy. Gate guy. Gate guy. Gate guy.

Gate guy. Gate guy. I thought the coconut shrimp was also one of my bites of the night. I had one of your shrimps. You treated me to one of those. It's very kind. I thought it was a yumbie. You were friendly to me.

I meant that I'm showing the world that. I've confused them again. I don't know what's going on. I'm fucking with you a little bit. I did think Abby Road was your least favorite album of the Beatles and then you corrected me. But then yes, of course I was still trying to fuck with you after the point. And then I did get scared that I actually made you mad. And now I can't tell where you're at in the world.

I can't tell where you're at. Is Abby Road actually a Beatles album or is this like a bit? It is an album. It is Beatles album. All right. Good. I'm more caught up. a great ending.

It has golden slumbers, right, Rags? Into a... I thought Her Majesty was a last one. Oh, it is. Oh, I got it wrong. Her Majesty's a very nice girl, but she doesn't... Wait, what's the song before that then? See, I don't even know that album that well.

Happy birthday, I think. Pretty famous song. Actually, wait, that is on the White Al too. Oh, it is? I think so. Oh, I was just talking shit. I was trying to think of the most famous song I know. Today, I'm gonna make her mine.

Okay, please, please me was the first album with the Beatles. Now, Jack Allison was saying, with the Beatles is actually low-key slaps. I've revisited a while. Hard day's night. Hard days is not. It's good. Beatles for sale, I'll help. I'd put all those from the early era before, like below Abbey Road. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's, Abby Road has a day

in the life. Yeah. No, no. I know. That's on, that's on Sergeant Pepper. Oh, it's on Sergeant Pepper. That's what I said about Sergeant Pepper. That day and life is a long way. I'm really fucking up Beatles history. People are going to get mad to me. Wait. I'm sorry to think you don't even like to be a lot. I don't, you know what? If you said that, I don't care. I do like them, but I don't care. But also, I do like them.

Emma? I do like them. I'd put yellow submarine probably below Hard Day's Night, honestly. I'd put, I think of the earlier, Hard Day's Night comes first. Hard Day's Night help. Then I'd put Yellow Submarine back there, even though that's from earlier. Then, you know, I just, please, please, please, being with the Beatles, I have to, and Beatles for sale, I don't even know what's on Beatles for sale. You never give me your number.

So that's from Abbey Road. Yes. I really like Rubber Soul. That might be my number one. Okay. And I really like Revolver. I think those are both good. I feel like that's a big.

And White Album. I think that might be my top three. White Album's my favorite album. And I think that's a nerdy answer. But I don't care. It is a nerdy answer, but that's okay. When did you guys get into the Beatles? I think my mom and dad, I think that's a mom and dad.

I think that's a mom and dad. I think our parents of the right era where they, like, grew up with the Beatles. And so they had all the Beatles records. And so I was like, they were just in heavy circulation when I was a boy. And so I just got used to them. You did make fun of Beatles 1. And you said, like, that's like what the dorks had. And I did have Beatles 1.

This is why I'm getting it's the greatest hits album. Yeah, I know. I like it. Nothing wrong with the greatest hits album. Why wouldn't you like every good song? I agree. And you said that Elvis has a really good greatest hits album. Elvis is great.

But Elvis was more of a singles artist. Elvis had a really good greatest hits album. I agree. Elvis Presley? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm up to date.

Yeah, that's what we're talking about right now. Let's look at our greatest hits album. It's got that remix of a little less conversation you all know from Oceans 11. I think you're crazy. Also, is it a full moon today or no? It was a few days ago. Yeah, that stuff sticks around.

That stuff sticks around. It sucks with you. It does. Cops are like, that's what the fucking weirdos come out. Yeah. There was a sober, a DUI checkpoint. yesterday. Yeah.

UI and license checkpoint. Wow. A full moon is what the inciting incident for the events of the thriller video. That's also true. Michael Jackson turns into, oh, but then they're watching the movie, but then also is there a full moon and when he turns to, why does he turn to a zombie?

He goes, man. He turns into a werewolf first, and then he turns into a zombie in the movie. Busy guy. Yeah, he's got a couple different things. He does look, he does break the fourth wall and look into the camera at the end and Vincent Price laughs.

Very good. Yeah. That's a good fucking... You guys think he did all that stuff? Made some great records. According to the new film, Michael, he did. Yes, absolutely. I've only...

I just saw the first part of Michael, so I don't know really what you're referring to. But yeah, check out Michael. I think it will be in liking. Michael doesn't even... Michael, the movie, doesn't even mention there were allegations.

It just goes like... It doesn't even show up. like spending, being weird with him. In fact, it shows him having a good time with children throughout the movie. I was trying to ask if you guys thought he was the guy in the Simpsons. But okay. That's a good question. I think it was an impressionist.

Okay, cool. I think it was Michael Jackson impressionist. I think it was him. Wow. All right. I hope it was him. We're split. I think he really did music for Sonic the Hedgehog 3.

Wait, I worked for the Hedgehog 3. I did do the music for Sonic the Hedgehog 3. I heard he, I think he did the music. And I also think that that's real too. Yeah. There's a, Eugene Naca. the Sonic creator, there's a picture he posted of him in a helicopter

over Neverland. And it was like, yeah, because he's on his way to have Michael Jackson do the fucking soundtrack. Who do you think, who did you think Michael had a favorite Sonic character? I think probably... Knuckles.

Knuckles is a good bad. I wouldn't be surprised... I wouldn't be surprised to be like Miles Tails Prowler. Oh, he maybe liked Tails. Yeah, he probably liked Tails. kind of like a little, well, I'm not trying to say, well, whatever. He's the most coded as a child.

Yeah, he's, I'm, yes. He's a grogoo in a way. Yeah, he's kind of a grogoo. He's a little bit of, he's a little bit of a gru. He's older than grogoo. He is older than grotoo. He is older than grogoo. Yeah.

Wait, Michael Jackson would love grogoo because he's 50, but also a little kid. Yeah. He's older than me. It's weird. He's older than me. I thought my burger is pretty good We got the Thunder from Down Under as our dessert Yes Oh and I got the I got the Kuala drink Wait, let me get my fucking koala

Did you take the Kuala? Yeah, I did Why wouldn't I? I was nervous, I thought you left it I'm pretty sure I grabbed it They kept emphasizing that we could take the things And did you take yours? Yeah

Did you? I left it You left it. I left my crocodile, I think. Look at this old motherfucker. Are you sad about that? Yeah, I am. I'm sad for you.

I dropped it. He spilled it. He spilled the thing from the drink. It's gone. It's under Tom's chair. Okay, I'll get it. It's gone. Tom, you left your gator.

I am actually kind of pissed. I know. I understand. The koala is a little duckling that has been repurposed to have koala ears. It comes floating in your drink, which is a lot of fun. but yeah, I got like a koala lemonade which was non-alcoholic, and it just had I don't even know what flavors.

I couldn't even tell you. It was generally sweet. Yeah, this is the thing. They're kind of discombobulating drinks. Yeah. Mystifying. Say hi to Wally and Irma. Wow, oh, that's cute. He's wishing him good day. What are you going to do with that bad boy?

What do you mean when we do that bad boy? Oh, Jesus Christ. I didn't mean like you're going to shove it up your asshole. That's immediately what I thought. He's got a little flat base on it, I guess. I think God bless him on his journey. It just doesn't feel very deep. He said I have to get my quorum, then he went to the bathroom.

What are you going to play? Oh, we can keep it here as a part of the... Yeah, sure, you're part of the tableau. The tablo. How fun is that? Thudder from down under. I loved it. So basically what this is...

Libby said this ice cream is bad. It is bad quality ice cream. It's bad quality ice cream. The brownie is bad. however it is fundamentally cream ice cream and brownie. Let me read the ingredients real quick. We eat like fast food. Like when you get a dessert like this,

sometimes like the ice cream is like, like I said, has freezer burn or something. And I was like, the ice cream was tasting okay to me. I know it's not high quality or something. This is the thing. The ice cream was at least not freezer burned. Yes, that's damning with faint praise.

But it's like Cisco ice cream. It's like the kind of ice cream that comes in that. It's not even like a good brand from the store. It's certainly not like a hog and does. An extra generous pecan brownie topped with rich vanilla ice cream or warm chocolate sauce, chocolate savings, and whipped cream. Is that warm chocolate sauce just kind of peter north over it?

And I think the whipped cream, I mean, I like the chocolate shavings. I thought that was fun. I did not get much pecan from it. Did you get much pecan? No, I got one pecan. I think there's very few pecans in it. I'm okay with that. I don't need the nuts and the brownie when I have a warm brownie Sunday.

I just like, I don't like to have any little pieces in there. I'm promised a pecan. I want a goddamn piquan. All right. Taking out on the gate guy. What did you think of the... We're going to want to hit that tea. What did you think like Thunder from Down Under?

That's fine. You know, I think it's just like even more than the quality of the ingredients. What matters is it's just getting something that's like room temperature, cold and warm. That's the hit. Totally agree with you. God, it's good. The contrast in temperatures was an absolute riot. Yeah.

Who would have known that battle between ice and, you know, the ice and heat battle. The fire and ice battle. That's what I was going to say. James Cameron himself. Yes. He's right. Yeah. Okay.

He's very right. I got scared. We were talking about assassinating people earlier. I thought you guys would tip them off. That was my bite of the night. Wow. The chocolate thunder from down under.

I think I like my burg. Hmm. Hey, buddy. You want to hear about my latest obsession? I'm talking about Mars men. No, I don't mean space aliens. I'm talking about something very different. Did you hit a wall in your mid-30s? You're doing the same workouts, eating the same diet, but you feel like you're moving through

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I've had a Helix mattress for gosh, almost seven or eight years now. That's right. I've been sleeping on my moonlight lux for close to eight years. It's been a while. I love it. Wags. It's like sleeping on a cloud.

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Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good, all good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show, what's our podcast here on Headgum.

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And when you're ready to launch, use off for code headgum, save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. Let's get to our fork score. So Tom, here's how this will work. We'll each go around. We'll give this a rating from zero to five forks. And any closing thoughts you want to add, your guest will begin with you.

Your thoughts, your fork score. Well, at Beck Steakhouse, I'd heard about it for so long. due to being in Australia, you get so much American culture. It's very strange to walk around your whole life knowing American street names, but not knowing what they are, where they are, but knowing that Franklin is a street, knowing that Sunset Boulevard is a street of some kind, and that there are places there.

Abeck Steakhouse kind of occupied the same place in my mind, where I knew it was a place, and it was vaguely Australia-themed. It is very strange to walk in there and see the manner of Australia-theming it is. someone who is not particularly patriotic in any way, seeing the various city names just appended to dishes on a menu with very little sense. And also, I think my favorite piece of Australia theming in the whole place were the bathrooms, which had on the doors a weathered wooden sign that said blokes, and then right underneath that a shiny metal sign that said,

men. and then over to the side, two additional signs that also said men. Just indicating zero faith in your clientele to translate. The same thing was done for Sheila's, and then women, women, women, women. Like just all over the place. No faith given to the clientele. I mean, that's just too many men have stumbled into Sheila's. Yeah.

Oh, I guess I'll have some Sheila's. Damn, maybe that's what they call me. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty bad. I didn't, on my first visit, the meat tasted, as Libby said, of blood. My favorite thing about it was the big, tall glass of beer that I got because it's fun to hold a big mug. That's just a fundamental fact of human life. That's true.

Yeah. On my second visit, the salad was decent because it took a lot of the Outback Steakhouse prep out of their hands and made it into ingredient food. and it's nice to eat ingredients sometimes. So I think for me, this is going to have to sit at, oh yeah, and I was baffled by my drink. I mean, you have to give some credit to the mystery. So with that in mind, I think I'm going to settle on two out of five forks. Two forks. And the reasoning for that is also because I paid for the meal with me, Libby and Lewis,

and it came out to a staggering $160, which is like so much more than I paid for the other good meals that we've had. in L.A. You know, I feel like you're paying for the familiarity if you go there, and I don't think you can, in your right mind, recommend that anyone go to Outback Steakhouse. Right? Like, who would go there apart from someone who needs to not experience anything new in their life?

Right. I mean, I would definitely get some sticker shock with the bill. That's a good observation. We drop 300 bills today. Yeah. Three bills. Sorry, not 300 bills.

Yeah, I mean, geez, Louise. Three thousand bucks. the outback? Wait, three bills is 300. So 300 bills would be. Oh, man, that's 900. Is that what it would be? No, 3,000 is, wait, what?

Let's take it 300 times 300. Wait, that's what was in my head. 300 bills would be 300 times 100. So 300 bills, okay, 300 squared. Add two extra zeros. Okay, 90,000, right? 30,000? Yeah.

300 bills is 30,000. You know, if you ate everything on the, on the, what's it called? the cheesecake factory menu, it costs $10,000. It's a lot of money. Wow. So if we did that, if we did that, that's next year's much madness and you and I both did it.

It's $20,000. We'll see what happens. I think we should do restaurants. We'll talk about it. We've never done restaurants. All right, now we're talking, Sheila's. I, uh, this guy will come back.

I, uh, $300 to be in the presence of Evan, Susser as he ate his meal in two minutes was worth it to me. Right. We got to see him. Susser, our heart is with you. We love you. Yeah, stay safe.

Stay safe, Suss. I, uh, look, I had a good time because of the people that were there. What a great time. I had a great time with you, Wags. Wow. I, I did not like my steak. I thought the baked potato was actually just fine. it almost looked like a storefront baked potato

like what you would look at to order a baked potato that's what it looked like like when they had like the ramen bowls of like what it's supposed to look like and you're like it just as like plastic or whatever that's kind of what the baked potato looked like and it just tasted fine. Was that part of your criticism that the baked potato

looked like a baked potato? Honestly, kind of yes because it was just like looked like it looked like a play baked potato and then it tasted not as good as I wanted it to be. Right. It looked good, but it didn't match up to the appearance. It didn't match up to the appearance no matter what, but the appearance also just looked kind of like fake and plasticy.

I see. My favorite thing was the dessert and the coconut shrimp. Those were my bites of the nightwags. I got to go two and a quarter forks. Two and a quarter forks, wow. So lower than my last fork score. So our good friend Libby went one and a half. Forks and said that's taking into account the other meal, which I think she enjoyed less.

I think her wedged salad and side of fries she had a day, she was a little bit more on board with. She liked the wed salad more than the meal that she had, yes. Susser went two and a half forks, as we mentioned. I thought my burger was okay. I thought it was pretty good, and I liked their fries. So from that standpoint, it was a fine chain restaurant burger that, like everything there, cost too much money. everything else was just so I don't know

I mean like even the drink was just like kind of like this vaguely sweet syrupy you know amalgamation that is just like why would I ever order this? Why would I order this over an iced tea or a regular lemonade? You know?

Except for I get that little koala buddy which is fun but I don't know Outback sucks right? And it used to be better. Yeah. It sucks. Why should we be given to this place

any grace? It's just declined and it's going away. They charged us $3 for playing one of the games on the Zios. This is true. There's a game called TableMate, which is like, I don't know, something Libby was like, was like, let me show you this. It'll be quite corking. And then she like, fucking, she played this fucking game.

And then we got a $3 charge of the bill. Yeah. I told her that and it broke her heart. I was like, oh, you guys got charged for playing that game. And she felt she was, I felt like she was devastated. Yeah, the reason she knew that she wanted to show you that game was because, I also paid for her to play that game. So,

she had already played that on my dime without me realizing it. And I did not get the... That is very good. I did not get the apology also, but yeah, she really liked that game. She really liked it. Yeah.

Anyway. Three bucks to play a fucking moat. That's insane. Don't tell you, oh, by the way, this is going to cost you. It just shows you games. Ziosk, sneaky shit. Ziosk, sneaky shit.

I mean, that's so many kids and parents. That's the thing. And that strikes me as this place is, like, struggling. They're Nicolin and Diamondia. Yeah, that's a way they can, like, it makes some cheap bucks is that, yeah, some kid will be dick around the screen and play this thing that looks like Pokemon Go, but it's actually called PocaGo. Yes.

And it's, you know, a complete fucking rip out. Is that what we were charged for? Was it the Pocago? I think it was Pocago, yes. Oh, we didn't even play it. We just looked at it, too. Well, no, for the three bucks, you also get access to the full game library. So when I was there, I played, like, a little mini-golf game that the shitty Android

tablet that they were using couldn't fully power. So it was at like, you know, five FPS. But it was still like, you know, it had sort of physical physics. Yeah. Oh, my God. This, this, this sucked. I'm, I'm bummed that I was late, but I enjoyed the time I got to spend hanging out with everybody. And I'm having a lovely time doing this episode.

Me too. Because you've had a long week. I've had a long week. And it's going to keep going. It's Wednesday. It's Wednesday. Gonna keep going. You've had, I mean, but you're over, you're over the hunt.

Oh, no, you're recording your other pod tomorrow. Yeah. Ooh. That stinks. Ha! Ha! There are. ultimately champagne problems. I have to think of it this way.

It's true. You fucking spoil a little bitch, too, when you think about it. I'm pushing your buttons. Be careful, be careful. I love you. You're doing great. I know you've had a long week. I know you've had a long week. Is that the version of a compliment sandwich?

He knows that I'm fucking with them. What are we doing here? One fork. Yeah, man. Fuck Outback. Don't take that shit on me. Take it out on the chain restaurants. That's what I just did. I love it.

All right, that was a review about Back Steak House. It's time for a segment. Gates guy. Gate guy. I've got some chips and we're going to eat them all. It's chips inhale, rest chew rangers. Rap City Chips edition. Hit it, Emma.

Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap City chips. Rap, Rap City chips, 10, 10, 10, 10, 20 in your mouth chips. A hundred spugs on my tongue and salty tits.

Mitchy Mitch, you don't know who you're crunching with. Okay, so this is Rap City Chips. I think that there was... Can we do it again? I thought it was pretty good. I know, it was fun. You just wanted to do it again because it was a five. Also, by the way, we'll get into him in a second here,

but one of the most fun things is hearing you guys describe this song to Y. Yeah. original. By Tyga, but we said it's by Tiger. I listened to the Taiga song a couple of times. But it was very fun hearing them. I mean, now I have a great image of Wager driving home last night at like 11 p.m. Just listening to Rap. Bro.

Him in the car switching between that and the White album just blames in out of his mind. These are banging the whole time, swerving to the rhythm. Throwing everyone out the window. Yeah, yeah. I'm done with this. White album can stay. These are rap city chips WRAP

City chips These were courtesy of a fan Who gave this to us? We can probably look up the name I don't remember the name But these are from New Hampshire Yes, these are New Hampshire This came in the big package

Emma's home state of New Hampshire We have a sea salt And we have a white cheddar halapeno Which I'm betting I'll enjoy Because I'm a bit of a heat seeker It says love at first crunch on these I like that Yeah I honestly I like that a lot

Let me go ahead and open this first one up And we will circulate This is sea salt Actually, why don't I send this over you, Spoon Man? I believe these are from Brantley P. Thank you, Brantley P. Brantley P. This does seem to ask for a scissors.

Amelia, I want to drop the chips. It's okay. It's okay. Why, you are doing well. You have, you have a, this is hell week for you. That's just a week thing. Mitch, do you want me to, Do you want to pass me?

This is this next and why Greg can hold the bag? Are you comfortable with him holding an edge weapon? Hey, I know. Let me go ahead and grab this bad boy. Thank you, Tom.

Also, you're, the thing that does also confuse me because he says muster on the beat, yo. He does mustard on the beat, yeah. Does he say muster on the beat, yo? I thought he does like a vocalization. He does that.

Or maybe I'm just thinking of the other song where he sings out. He says, yo, I think it depends on the song. Must it on the beat, yeah. I think I was a little confused because the lyrics you sent over, which were well constructed, but I think they had the Rap City Chips thing

twice, only twice before the mustard, or no, it had them. We should have practiced it, I think. We should have practiced it, but I think came out great. No, it's great. Yeah, you know, like Jay Z and Kanye used to do that one song like a bunch of times. So maybe for the episode, if you're looking to pat it out,

you could just do it like, and again! And then you do the Rhapsody jingle again. Yeah, because we're only at two hours, 18 minutes, so we should probably pad this one out a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, get another ad break in. Rap city chips. Rap city chips.

Rap city chips. Rap city chips. But that comes without a rap city chips underneath it, or is it not? I don't think it has the rap city chips under the day. The most part of the beat is like, it's just the DJ's tag. So it kind of just like floats in there. Yeah. I think it might be an isolation.

Or they're very close. Them describing the original song to you was the most fun. when they were just telling you about the song was. Like 10, 10, 20s on your titties, bitch. Yeah, and you're like, oh, okay, I like that. I did like it. I know.

That makes sense. Something's got to be on the tetties. I believe... One of the original lyrics was salty lips, and Wiger was like, I'm going to change lips to tits. Because it had tities in the song. I was like, we've got to keep tities in there somewhere. I like that.

Yeah, you got to keep titty in there somewhere. And if you're eating sloppily, you might very well end up with salty tits. It's true. I certainly happen to me. Ladies, no, and I'm sure. gentlemen too with lower cut shirts. If you go to the movies and you're eating popcorn, when you get home, you take your bra full of popcorn.

Oh, wow. Really? Because you don't see it or feel it. Oh, yeah. Popcorn. Yeah. What, I've eaten a lot of stuff that I've found in like the, oh, I shouldn't say this. I've had a lot of, I've eaten like a lot of stuff that I found in the fold of my couch.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, right? Right. Who cares? Amelia likes that. Not me. No, she's shocked by it. I'm shocked.

Really? Yeah. I can't believe I got you offside. Oh, I got to change everything. Yeah, that's bad. The sea salt are good. Weiss, can you hand over the other, I don't know if you tried them yet. I haven't tried them yet.

Oh, well, then keep them and try them. Okay, let me try these and then I'm going to circulate. Oh, my God. Here, here. Hold on. Everything's going fine. What do you need? We could take them later.

No worry. You guys eat them first. The sea salt chips are good. It's just a very good classic potato flavor you're getting there. My mom buys these ones a lot in New Hampshire for, like, we will make or buy like french onion dip like cheese and dip these go really great with that well i take them to the beach emma that's it sounds like the perfect dip chip these uh white cheddar jalapeno are salty as fuck but they are good they have just a little bit of burn i like the cheese

flavor i think these are fucking great now now we're talking the white cheddar halapino can't have another go with the white cheddar jalapeno i can't taste anything yet i mean you can't Really. Okay, good. It's very faint. It's like the La Croix of chips, almost. But I like that it's faint. I like that it's not overpowering.

No, it's all about the taste you don't taste. These are both snacks for me. Both snacks. Let me just say this. These are both better than anything we had at Outback, as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather eat these chips than a meal at Outback any day of the fucking week. I agree, Wahn. Oh, thank you.

A hundred percent. Yeah, 100%. Also, the last one that we tried was also really good. They have a good, yeah, we tried the, what did we try the sweet and salty ones last time? That's like their signature chip. Yeah. They have these, all of their chips, maybe it's russet potatoes or something, the kettle cookedness of them. They have such a good flavor, like, base flavor.

Tom basically know that it is kind of like the flavor is kind of a LaCroix level flavor, but still good. I say snack and then major snack to the white cheddar halapamine. I love these. Okay. I really can't taste a difference between the white cheddar halapeno and the sea salt, to be honest. Well, what is your verdict? Even if they're both, they're both neutral to you. Pretty great. You know what? I have a slight mouth heat from the white cheddar halbergenio, but I

truly, yeah, it's really only on the aftertaste. It's on the burn rather than the initial crunch. Gemmy wants a chip. Can we give her a sea salt chip? I think my verdict would be snack rather than the alternative, which of course is whack. Yeah, I go snacks. These are snacks all around.

Thank you so much, Brantley. Yeah, thank you, Apparently. That was chips and hail, rescue rangers, just like a restaurant. We were our feedback. What's a girl? Today's email is from Lindsay, aka Princess Sloth from the Dosecorg. Princess Sloth, writes, When I was a kid, sometimes I would have mayonnaise and banana sandwiches. It wasn't just one adult who made this for me as a kid, which makes me think this was a more normal thing to eat back then. After a quick Google search, this is more of a southern thing and began during the Great Depression, sounds about right. Are there any foods you had as a kid that sounded revolting to you as an adult? P.S. tomatoes, as Nick likes to call them, and mayonnaise are also a popular combo in the South. Thanks for all the joy you bring me. Wait, tomato and mayonnaise?

Tomatoes and mayonnaise? That's, I had tomato mayonnaise sandwich. I'd fuck with that. That sounds good. Yeah. Anything as a kid that I... I have two answers. One, and this isn't just because I developed a peanut allergy. This is a thing that I used to have that it was like, this is my favorite fucking treat. Peanut Butter and Marshmallow Cream Sandwich. Oh, it's not what I was going to say. Yeah, but that, that to me sounds disgusting right now. It sounds weird. too sweetenard. Fluffer nutter sandwiches I

fucking loved. I was so like, oh my God, I get to have one of these. Is that not marshmallow cream and peanut butter? That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Yeah. No, so that... Oh, yeah, yeah, you're saying it was just how it's disgusting to you now. It sounds disgusting to me now, but having a fluffer nutter when I was a kid, I was like, oh my God, I'm an absolutely have a fluffer now, do you think you would be like, this is pretty damn good? I don't know. I mean, like, because I think if I got...

You got a peanut allergy anyway. My idea is a kid, yeah, that's what I was saying, but my ideas a kid, even absent that is like, let's say it was like almond butter and something or, or or fucking what's a sunflower butter. Let's say sunflower butter and marshmallow butter and marshmallow cream. That to me just sounds gross now. And when as a kid I was like,

if I ever get biged, I could eat these all the time. And I have been big just because of how time progressed. And I am just not particularly interested in them. And I think another one is Easy Cheese. You all know what Easy Cheese is? I don't have that. Is that like a spray can cheese?

It's an aerosol cheese. That's something that I'm aware of only through children's television. Yeah. As a kid, I thought it was, I was like, this is, I can't believe my parents are letting me get this. And I thought it was so fucking good. And now when I think about it was like, that's the most processed, like thing imaginable. It seems disgusting to me. So those are two answers that come to mind.

Those are both great answers. I don't know. I can't think, it is like some gross childish thing that is now like even erased for my memory. I'm sure is the answer. But my head did go to fluff, like a peanut butter and fluff sandwich for lunch is like, that's just too sweet. Yeah. I would still eat one, but I wouldn't want it as my lunch or whatever. What about what?

What about Bubba Chop Chip with milk? Bubba chop chip with milk is still fucking delicious. Remind us what that is exactly? I was going to say, I'm going to need a refresher. It's Bubba milk and a Bubba. Got it. Bubba juice, it's Bubba juice chop chip. With milk.

Yeah. And what is a Bubba juice? Bubba juice is my Bubba. So I was like, I want my Bubba juice. Okay. And then chop chip, chocolate chip. And then with milk meant like, like make it chocolate milk.

They got mixed started on chocolate milk early. Bubba juice chocolate. I mean, it was. I mean, also, it was the 80s. I'm sure that I was drinking chocolate milk too early, I'm sure. Yeah, sure. Yeah, I guess that is the source. The wise, that is though, without you're saying it, like,

strawberry milk or something like that. You do go away from these things as you get older. It's sad. Yeah. I'm not doing flavored milk as much as I used to. We have quite a bit of flavored milk. culture over in Australia. Really?

Yeah, it's weirdly like quite a big like manual labor thing where maybe like less now because you know, everyone has their knowledge of like, you know, our protein maxing and shit. But like in, you know, early thousands and like 90s, the common thing was you'd see a trading with like a big, a big, a big carton of chalky milk or like a strawberry milk or whatever. And that was just like, yeah, well, I'm doing a hard day's work. So I have to have, you know, it's fuel. It's fuel.

Yeah, the muscle milks. We have that culture a little bit. Typically, this had no protein added to it. It's just like chocolate milk. It's literally like child drink. Yeah. Yeah. Milk tried to push that for a while that like you could get like like like a there's a good source of calcium of course.

And it was like chocolate milk is like a good way to like a, you know, it was like a good way to get your vitamins and shit. I had chocolate milk at school every day. What were they doing to us? I did have a cart and a chocolate milk almost every day as well, Wags. And only chocolate milk. Yeah. God. I think for me that, I don't know, you guys heard fairy bread.

That's the classic Australian snack that is just like, it's white bread, margarine or butter, and then a sprinkling of hundreds and thousands, which is basically a circular sprinkle. And that is the end of the recipe. Wow. Yeah. And so it's literally sugar sandwich. An open-faced sugar sandwich is a good way of describing fairy bread.

And that's like what you would eat at essentially every birthday party until you were old enough to drink, feels like. So, like, that's what it looks like. Hey, I'd fuck with that. Yeah, look, as a child, this hits, but as an adult, if you ever have it, it's mental. Yeah.

I just weirdly was reading about this for some reason. I don't know why. This is true. It basically, for our far audio listeners, looks like buttered white bread with funfetti on top of it. Maybe someone in the dope, maybe someone on the reddit or something. Brought it up,

but I just remembered a sandwich. which I got almost every day in elementary school. Not every day, but many, many days. And it was a bologna sandwich with ketchup on white bread. I was going to say, I ate so much bologna as a kid. Bologna, like just right out of the bag from the grocery store, like pieces of bologna and the idea of doing that now is kind of nasty. The bologna itself, like, if you made me like a bologna and cheese sandwich,

I'm sure I'd be like, this is great. Bologna, white bread, like white wonder bread, bologna and ketchup. Yeah. And like that to me, I'm like, that is pretty gnarly, I feel like. And that was like, I was like a child, but I loved it. I liked ketchup. I used to eat so much tomato ketchup. Yeah.

Or Heinz, as the UCB Handbook would have a say. There you go. I used to eat so much Heinz. Just like, you know, and tomato sauce sandwiches were so good. I, damn. The, it was like one slice of bologna ketchup and white bread. And then like you were saying like a chocolate milk. Yeah.

It was a wild time. My buddy got a DUI, not Mitch, and spent the night in prison. Thank you. And spent the night in jail. And in the morning, like the breakfast they gave him was two bologna sandwiches and two cartons of milk. And he was like in this drunk tank with a bunch of other guys. And he got that just like, he's just like looking at it. And then this big guy comes up to him and says, you want your bologna?

He just says, here you go. Just gave it to him. It was, it sounds like the guy. It sounds like Stark Raving Dad. It sounds like very much like Stark Raving Dad sort of. Contrast between physical form and high-pitched voice. The Michael Jackson character from this substance. That's nice.

Israel name is Leon Kompowski. Oh, that's right. I forgot that that's the reveal. Good question. Lisa, it's your birthday. Wow. Holy shit, it wasn't Michael Jackson. It was Wags all along.

Bologna sandwich. Amelia, anything, grossier as a kid that you wouldn't want now? If there was nothing in the fridge and I had to kind of like concoct something myself. I remember making like mustard bagels, like grocery store bagels. And if there was no cold cuts or anything, I would just put mustard on it.

That does sound gross. Yeah. I used to just eat like straight spoonfuls of sugar and salt. I would do that with sugar. I would be like, like if I made coffee, sometimes I just be like, ate a little sugar for me. That's wild.

And I'm like, no wonder we were a fat kid. Yeah, right? See how chubby I was. A little fat fuck going into the pantry to eat sugar. out of the bag. Mitch is queuing me for the mayo spoon, which I would have,

but also I was going to ask you, songs in the key of Springfield, would you rank that over any Beatles album? And specifically, Abbey Road? Yes. Did the Beatles ever do the bot man? They should have.

They were on top of the building. They were on top of Moes. They did play on top of Moors. Oh, no, wait, no, they didn't. George Harrison drove by and saw... It's been done. It's been done. He saw the B. Sharp's doing it.

If you have a question of government at the world of chain restaurants. You can email us at Feedback at BirdFuck.com. Or leave us a voicemail at 830. Go to that's 8304663-6844. Our producers, Emma Erdbrinker, our associate producers of Mielinow. Our radio editor is Mike Dorfman.

Do Boys merch at kinshipgoods.com slash doboys. And I believe we're on the other side of a recent tour. We get some live shows coming up in the fall. Look for those. Yeah, we'll be in Texas in November. And, yeah, keep an eye on BirdFuck. com slash live. And to get the Do Boys double our weekly bonus episodes,

subscribe at patreon. Patreon.com slash doughboys. Tom Walker. such an absolute delight to have you in studio. Thank you so much for making time with us. As I mentioned, I'm a big soft titty. PNG, Patreon subscriber. When I told Demi this, she just said, why?

Yes. It's really scary. So if you guys are wondering if Wax is having cognitive decline issues, it's truly because of our podcast. That's what we say about our podcast, though. I really think we're making each other worse. We're smoothing his brain out like beach glass. It's not a good thing to put your brain through.

It's bliss. Check out Bigsoftini.com. It's a podcast where we, I don't know, we do like miniature horse news and we do updates on self-suck guys. We're both obsessed with the black-eyed peas. We keep doing the black-eyed peas update on Let's Get Updated. There's a lot of good stuff out there. And it's me and my sweet wife, Demi. Also, I have a special out by the time you're listening to this.

It'll be on YouTube. It's called My Treasures, My Beautiful Treasures. It's all about the guys I've gotten to be. obsessed with over the years. In particular, a guy who I found who I got completely obsessed with because he kept a daily diary of his attempts to have a wet dream. And he kept that for six years. Wow. And I got obsessed with it enough. And I thought it was like valuable enough and funny enough that I, and also I was experiencing insomnia at the time, I went through and itemized every single day into a spreadsheet. So you'll hear the takeaways from that. That's good.

It's really fucking good. It's like there's some really interesting human moments there. I hope I have one tonight. I wish that for you. Thank you. You do? Keep us updated. Yeah.

Yeah, why not? Hey, check this out. I gift you one. I cost my spell. I love this. Not a problem. I love it. Anyone else in the market?

Nick? Yeah, yeah. I'll give you one. Amelia. Amelia. Hey. I gift you one. Yes.

Emma. One for you as well. And you. The viewer at home, you're welcome. Don't bring it, Jemmy. Oh, Jimmy. How could I forget the sweet dog? This is so cool.

This is what Scott Adams was doing before he cocked it. I think I'll take a nap right now. Jimmy. Jimmy, you dirty dog. Anything else you want to plug? You get your Twitch stream, very funny. Oh, yeah, check out Twitch.tv. TV slash Tom Walker.

I do stupid shit on there. I did a thing where I flipped a coin until I got 10 heads in a row. Wow. But if I got 10 tails in a... It took eight hours, man. It sucked. And then... Did you get like nine a lot or no?

So the deal was I flipped a coin until I got ten heads and row, but if we got ten tails, the number went up by one. And I got ten tails immediately. Oh my God. And so I had to flip a coin until I got 11. That sucks. It was a hell of my own making. Well, hey, over here we call that the Doobo Boys podcast.

Yeah. We all got our burdens. Bro, sometimes the gilded cage is so shiny, you almost forget. It's true. Feels good in here. Yeah. And it's cool that nobody else works in the gilded cage. It's just mysteriously deserted.

It's not really gilded. It's kind of rusted and there's a gate guy. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the spoon, Matt McChryl. I'm Tiger Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. That was a hate gum podcast.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast. A new show. coming to f***. Coming to f***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast. A new show coming to Headgum soon. Woo-hoo. I've learned a jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to roll.

Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast.

What was it going to be called? The Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-o. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out.

I'm like, I got that on TV. I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad is going to happen to me. Wee Man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch.

The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jack. The Podcast the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast,

or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the Podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. new episodes every Tuesday.

Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show coming to F***. Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show now on Headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to roll. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history.

All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called?

The Jackass podcast. The Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Stevo. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in clown makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising up.

I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. Wee man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me.

And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy, and I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday.

Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes. Ha-ha-ha-ha.