Doughboys - Panera 5 with David Wain

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

David Wain (@davidwain, Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass) joins the 'boys to talk Middle Aged Dad Jam Band, hall passes, and Jewish delis before a review of Panera's new Salad Stuffers. Plus, a fishy edition of Snack or Wack.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Mitch, it's finally happening. Munch Madness 11, the tournament of champions reheated rivalry finale, is happening live. One day later than we previously scheduled. That's right, Wags.

One day later than we previously scheduled. We're going to close this bad boy up. It's been months. It's been months. The Dodeak has had Commissioner Susser, but finally on Sunday. day July 12th from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Eastern. I'm just say 6 p.m. to question mark, because things might get wild. 6 p.m. Eastern. We are going to get to the bottom of Munch Madness 11.

That's right, Wives. We've got a pre-show at 6 p.m. And then the main show starts at 7 p.m. Get locked in. We're going to get Susser back. He's probably wasting away to nothing. And then we're having a live post-show call-in right afterwards that will keep going and y'all can participate. Look, the times are going to fluctuate. It's going to fluctuate. We might not start right on time. We usually do. We usually are 100% rigid. Every live event starts right on time. No, no one can, we might break that pattern. Mitch's ring camera went off. It's the dodiak. Is it the dodiac? Let me look. All right, Mitch is going to look at the dodiak. While he's doing that. It is. Wow. Unbelievable.

But you know who else is going to be there? Nicole Beyer and Betsy Sadaro. That's right. Our guest, Nicole and Betsy, two of the funniest people in the world, are going to be joining The Dodiac and hopefully Susser. He's walking Susser like a dog right now. He has some one of a leash. It's disgusting. That's so demeaning. It's awful.

Yeah. Anyway, tickets are $16 for general admission or $8 for Patreon subscribers. That's right. If you're on the Patreon, you get a 50% discount. So if you're not on the Patreon, you might as well join. Yeah, why don't you just sign up? Just sign on up. Patreon.com slash dope boys.

Get yourself a 50% discount. Interesting little marketing thing we did here. If you joined the patrons, free. Sunday, july. July 12th, 6 p.m. Oh, it's kind of free. It's half price. It's half price. You can't say it's free.

It's not free. You can't cost $8. You get what I'm talking about. You get what you're saying. Yeah. I'm saying if you're on the Patreon, it basically would be- It pays for one month of Patreon by itself. Yes.

By virtue of the 50% discount, which you're getting for a great show, a super-sized, big-sized, big-y-sized finale, July 12th at 6 p.m. Eastern with the Coalbuyer and Betsy Sedaro, much madness of the tournament champion's reheated rivalry finale. Don't miss it. Do Boys Podcast.com slash live, do it. Wow. Don't buy VIOS.

In 1984, after the death of German tycoon Alfred Riemann Jr., his enormous estate was split amongst his nine children. Today, the surviving Remens, Germany's version of the Walton family, each have Nepo wealth in the Billions and collectively control JAB Holding Company, a multinational conglomerate that has its tendrils in every sector of the global economy. Riemann Jr., as one might expect, was himself a beneficiary of nepotism, the sion of Alfred Reimans' senior's sprawling business empire. But also, as one might expect for a 20th century German family that generated generational wealth, the Riemans were fucking Nazis. In 2019, the German newspaper, Bild Amson Tag, revealed that Riemann Sr. and Jr. were both, quote, enthusiastic Nazis, and the company used slave labor from Nazi-occupied territories to staff its

vast industrial holdings. The Riemann Nepo Babies were naturally shocked, shocked by these revelations, and selflessly pledged 10 million euros to charity as penance of their collective wealth totaling an estimated $33 billion. But this conscience laundering has been more than enough to muddle through this seemingly ruinous scandal, and today JAB Holding Company, which has existed in the Riemann lineage for nearly 200 years, has come to focus on food service as its primary moneymaker. Among this holding company's holdings are crispy cream donuts, fellow roundhole broker Einstein Brothers Bagels, Pretamange, Caribou Coffee, and a fast casual bakery chain founded in 1986 as the St. Louis Bread Company. Powered by its loungable restaurant spaces, array of lunch options, savory soups, and all-you-can-sip drinks, the concept expanded nationally and internationally, pivoting to a more geographically universal name that roughly translates as granary. The Remins, like most fascists in their spawn, will of course never suffer any real consequences.

Not as long as their companies keep churning out just good enough limited time offerings like a hollowed out loaf of bread with a fucking salad jammed into it. This week on Do Boys, we return once again to Panera for their salad stuffers. Welcome to Do Boys the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Wiger along with my co-host. Eater Falk, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Oh, like Peter Falk. Like Peter Falk, but Eater Falk. A silly roast inspired by Colombo, Peter Falk.

My grandma loved Colombo, and she would always get me McDonald's so I'd be quiet while we watched it together. She was a wonderful woman, and Amelia's impersonation brought back fond memories. I don't know if David's seen Amelia's impersonation. Drew in Chicago. Yeah, I think Amelia, our associate producer, Emilio Marino, I think you should demo this Peter Falk impression. And does one more thing. It's good. Isn't it a question?

Does it mean one more question? Yeah, I think it's the wrong line. I mean, it is question. I like that you have to turn into your approach too. It's entertaining. You know, Kevin Pollock really closed the book on that one, I feel like. Amelia, yeah, it is a, I think it is a good impression. Kevin Pollock past Doe Boy's guest front of the show has a, has a, does have an incredible

impression. And I think showed, did it for Peter Fogg. The definitive one, yeah. But I think yours is good. Thank you. You put your own spin on it. Sounds like it's time to retire it. There's room for two.

There's always room for two. Yeah. Yeah. Like the Sith. Sure. That's true. Yes, that is true. There's always two.

Yeah. Or is it always there's always another. There's always another. There's always two. There's always two. There is always two. There is a master and apprentice. Yeah.

Who's your favorite Sith? Darth Darth, Darth Vader. Come on. Yeah. You could go with the original. What about Darth Sidious? Dard Sidious is really cool. Cedius is pretty cool.

I don't really like what they did to... He gets gross looking, though, and that is a... That's a little bit of an attraction. Yeah, well, it's also like he does the lightning trick on Mace Winde, but then his own lightning kind of gets on him. It's like his, you know, hoisted on his own pittard. Also a little racist going after Mace Windu. Wow.

So I get into that. Window can get very Windu. Then Windu flies out the window. I know. How about that? Yeah. Pretty good, George Lucas. Yeah, pretty good, honestly.

That's just classic storytelling. You regret being here. May I leave? Yeah, yeah, anytime. You want to. Roast at Birdfuck.com. Amelia's here, of course, as always, Emma, our producer, the M of EMP, Emma Irrubrink, is on the road. She's in transit back, so she was not able to make this record.

However, we do have. The seat where Jemmy once said is empty, like Tiny Tim. Jimmy's seat is empty. It is kept open for her. And, of course, the Wally. and Irma statuettes remain as part of the tableau. But our guest engineer, Sam Rogic is back with us. What's up, Sam?

Hey, hey, thanks for having me back. Can I pitch, okay, bait something? Yes. Sam Doggich? Sam Doggich. Where is it took that long? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, it was awesome.

Where is, Emma? Where is she? I can look at her location. Okay, yeah. Amelia's going to docks her location. Can I put something? Yeah, please. And this is not original, like it's been said before,

about other people named Sam probably, but Sam the man. Sam the man is pretty good. It is good. Can I be honest, I think it's better than Sam Dogich. Okay, well, Sam Doughich can be like kind of like another one, but Sam the Man can be kind of your main nickname. There has to be a Doe Boys Universe version, yeah. Yeah. My uncle used to call me Samola, which I kind of like that.

Samula is pretty good. I don't know where it's from. Like Hamelot or Samula? Samula. Samola. Samola. Yeah. Okay.

Or Sam, Sam, my dick it is. How'd you know? Just a thought. I've checked Emma's location. She's on Little St. James. Oh, boy. Emma. Come on.

I guess there's a lot of room for Gemmy to run around. That's true. And I guess it is empty now. It is empty, yeah. Is it? I don't know if it's empty. Where is she? Can you want to dock?

Oh, sorry. She's in Tori, Utah. Wow. It's making her way across the country. Yeah, where the hell is she? I just said, she's in Tori, Utah. Why is she here? What's happening here?

There's a big brothel there. That's probably why. Oh, wow. I didn't realize there were brothels in Utah In Tori there's a really fun one Tori specifically. We took a month off of Do Boys We took a month off of Do Boys and Emma said

Still not enough for me Is that what happened Emma? She'll be back next. She'll be back next But I'm very happy that we have Sam here She'll be back real soon. Last time I saw you guys was in Florida, no? Maybe.

Oh yeah, that's right. We were in a live show. You were backstage. That was so funny. What a fun. That like melts my brain because that was Yeah. One bump in, that was.

The day the NASA shot the rocket to space. We all remember that. Those live shows on the tour were awesome, by the way. Thank you. I'm assuming. Yeah, no, they were well. They were fantastic.

My parents loved it. Oh, I'm so glad. Yeah, that was amazing that we met your parents. I mean, I don't know if they should ever have watched the shows, but it was fun. We had a great time. We had a very good time. Speaking of amazing, Mitch, I don't know if you got a chance to see this, but as of this record, there is a fresh piece of art

that has been unveiled to the world. Kane's Anthem by the artist and also actor, Adrian Brody. Do we have a shot of Kane's anthem? That's right. Adrian Brody is friends with the founder of Raising Canes, and so he made this gigantic wall-sized collage in tribute to Raising Kane, to Raising Cains the franchise that includes,

I don't know what it is exactly, but there you go. I think it's a great piece of art. I think a great way to talk about it is what you just said. There you go. There is one of the Cain's dogs up there. I'm not sure which Cain that is. Maybe Cain the third. I think that's the current Cain.

There was a Forbes magazine cover with the founder on it. And there's a raising Cain's logo at the center of it. And then just with things like, I love New York as well. So there you go. There you go. There you go. There it is. That's my art.

Kane's anthem is a vibrant mixed media collage that was born from admiration and respect for my friend Todd Graves, the owner and founder of raising Keynes. The work echoes the grit, perseverance, and entrepreneurial spirit that defines Graves' journey, the spirit of NYC, and an urban aesthetic that has always spoken to me growing up here, Adrian Brody. I must have been happy about the New York Knicks Championship.

Yeah. Emilia, you were pretty happy. I'm very happy about it. Go Nix and five. Let's go. Very cool. Fucking. What a moment.

I was in New York for all this. I was in this Celtics fan. I was in New York in this hellhole of the Knicks winning and being in Uber's and hearing people celebrate at the bars and you going crazy. But don't you feel like by the time you get to that point, you're rooting for the East Coast? No. No, I got no. I can't. I, I, I, it's, I'm, New York, everyone hates Boston so much that I can't do it.

That's true. But they really went on a heater. But Boston sucks is the thing. See, this is the issue. This is the issue. They were unstoppable. I wish Biggie Smalls was alive to fuck some of the Nick swives so that they would get them off their game. No, that's also a good point.

Who was that back in the day? That was revealed recently, and it was a player who was now passed. You can look it up. But it was, but they did just, I think they talked about it on ESPN or on some around the horn type show. Yeah, they probably talked about the ESPN. On some around the horn type show. They revealed who it was. But we needed Biggie Smalls to throw them off their games.

Fuck some lives. Maybe it was the McLaughlin Report. That's probably what it was. It was probably the political roundtable show, the McLaughlin report hosted by the now-dead McLaughlin, I think. Mitch, I can't look it up because I have relieved myself of my device. I used to have an iPad, but now after this we had a little bit of a break that we took after our tour. We're back in the studio today, back on the saddle, back in the content minds. I have shifted over to a clipboard, classic clipboard.

I love that. Yeah. Bill, a little analog, trying to go analog here. Are you, are you, I'm proud of you. I think it's great. Okay. It's already been annoying so far. Like, you've, there's already been conversations about it.

Well, how's it been annoying? It's been a little bit. Oh, wait, I got to hit him with a drop, don't it? Yeah, I know. Yeah. Amelia hit him with, or Sam, hit him with a drop. It's you, Sam. Thank you, Sam.

I'm going to hit him with a drop, drop, drop, drop, drop, drop. Drop, drop, drop. Drop, drop, drop. Drop, drop, drop. I'm a good, I'm a good, am I, what the other, I'm a drop. I'm a hit a drop. No, no. There it is.

There you go. Oh, there you go. I got it wrong already. Kind of a bummer that Emma wasn't here to hear such an Emma-centric drop. I know. I'm sorry, Emma. Sorry, Emma, but that's what you get for taking time off. She'll hear it on the podcast to be delighted.

You think so? No. I don't think she'll zoning out right now. Unless she hears, cut this Emma. Here's a drop about drops. Love the show. Shout out to my brother-in-law, John, who could probably do a much better job at making drops than me.

Don't say that. Why didn't you get John to do it? Get some help from John. Kevin from Seattle. He's, leave them alone. I don't know to yell at your guy. I don't know, Kevin.

Maybe a little help from John would have. Yeah. If you have a drop guy in your family, which out of your favorite minion, you're giving the guy a hard time. Isn't Kevin your favorite minion? No. I mean,

Kevin's kind of the lead of the minions movie, the first one, but I don't think he's called my favorite. I'm sorry. I don't know. I just feel like Bob is so cute. Stewart's kind of the classic one-eyed minion. The introduction of Otto and the Minion's sequel, Minions Rise of Gru,

that Otto with the braces is a breakout character. And then this new... Yes, I think everyone was saying Otto is a breakout character. The new Minions movie, Minions and Monsters, directed by Pierre Coffin, who is the voice of the minions and directed the original back in the day. So it's a return to form, return to the franchise for old Pierre. It's supposed to be the best one in the series so far,

but it introduces James of the Minion, who's an aspiring film director. And co-starring Zoe Deutsch. That's right. Wow. Wow. Pierre, what a name. Anytime we write your, John Hancock, you're reminded of your mortality.

Yeah, I guess I don't know, is Coffin, if you're a native French speaker, does Coffin have the same? Oh. Like, is that the same word? I don't know. It might be. Can you look this up too? Did you guys look anything up? I text to you.

I think it was Anthony Mason is the name of the best of them. Oh, Anthony Mason. Oh, it was Anthony Mason. Did he pass away? I think he did. Rest in power. Are you a Knicks fan? We should ask you.

I just wanted to say, I feel like John Hancock's down. It's very similar to John Hamcock. That is very, that is very interesting. Of course, he's notorious for his allegedly very large. Dweggs, careful. I'm just saying, I'm like, like, if we're running up John Hancock. Can't comment inside info. Yeah.

Drops at birdfuck.com. Very, very excited to have our guests back in studio from Wet Hot American Summer, middle-aged dad jam band, and his new movie, Gail Daughtry, and the Celebrity Sex Pass. Out in theaters starting tomorrow, July 10th, as of this episode's release, David Wayne. Hi, David. So exciting. Thanks so much for being here. So happy to be back.

I've been honored with seeing the movie, and it's great. It's so funny. Oh, thank you. Very excited to see it. There's a little cameo in the movie that I think everyone is going to love. Oh, yes. Let me just say. Amelia, you've also seen the movie.

Absolute cinema. Amelia, how many movies have you been in? This is my first movie. It's your debut. It's your film debut. Yes. That's very exciting. And it couldn't have.

happened without you. So thank you. Well, as the director of the film, I, obviously not. I'm in it for a couple seconds. It's more than I thought I'd be. And let's just say you got some Colombo type eyes going on in those, in that 30 seconds. You really, you really, uh, you really made the... I mean, there's a

close-up of you that's all about you. There's a shot that's all about you. That's awesome. You really make the most of that. You knock it out of the park. I'm a fucking star. Okay. Calm down. Our head's gotten too big already. You've also seen Gail Autry. Yes. It was amazing.

That's awesome. And the two of you had a little bit of a of a post-premier hang. I was not able to attend, but like you, I was out of town. Oh, you were. Oh, you were here. No, I was out of town. Oh, maybe I wasn't invited. I don't think you were.

Okay, I wasn't invited and it was out of town. I was lucky enough to. I asked Amelia to invite you and she said no. I thought I was invited. I think it just was out of town. I had a plus one. I'm sure I would have had a plus two if I would have brought both of you. Let's just say, for the record, you were invited.

Yeah. Sure, yeah. From now on, that's what it would be. Nick Wiger celebrity sex pest going to see N. Okay. Does that mean, wait, are you saying I'm a celebrity? Are you saying I'm a sex pest two celebrities? I guess I guess it doesn't.

I don't think I would endowl me as a celebrity. I think you are. I like the second one. I just said impester celebrities. with my weird sex quirks. What did you, wait, post show, because you sent me something, which was, I'm, I'm spilmonger,

I'm always spilling things. Mitch, you had a spill of your own. I did. I don't know if this is very, very embarrassing. I was, because we had a little, can I say where we saw the premiere, is that okay? Oh, yeah.

We were at the Grove. Very exciting. No spoiler there. The world famous Grove, and we went and saw the movie at the Grove, and then afterwards, you guys got to keep the bar open a little later at the grove and we all hung out there and then you were hanging out McGuffins at the bar at the grove not not the movie theater bar but no the

fountain bar oh how exciting that's fun right where inside baseball la right yeah right where right where grogoo was standing at one point but he was but he was gone and then uh uh i spilled my entire my tie on the on the table rough stuff in front of all the stars in front of all the stars of the movie very embarrassing been there have you No, I mean, I've had very embarrassing spills. This is a pretty big, this is a pretty, this is a Hollywood spill. I spilled in front of a lot of Hollywood folks and movers and shakers. If you want to recreate what you did if anyone listening wants to, you could go to the Grove tonight because even though the movie opens tomorrow, you can, there are screenings tonight you can buy tickets for.

Wow, there you go. Oh, yeah. Order a Mai Tai at the fountain bar. A very good mitat. Enjoy Gail Dottry and then spill all over the place. I'll be there at the 731, answer questions after me. Wow. Wow.

Very cool. And I got to say this. Then we had a fun little meal after that, too. Yes. Me and Meals and her father, Ken Marino, which all of our listeners stupidly thought for the longest time. And Mike Rosenstein, the four of us went and we got some ramen on Melrose. What a hang.

Dream blunt rotation, as they say. Me too? Yeah. Hey, all right. That's pretty nice of you. We've never enjoyed the kind, kind together. I think it gives you anxiety. I don't do that sort of thing anymore.

No, I abide by the laws. Yeah, no, yeah. I'll do it with you at some point. I would love to. Really? Yeah, sure, why not? Yeah, come on. Please.

Can I do my first line of Coke with you, too? I don't know about that. I don't know if the old... I don't think I'm going to try. I don't think it's a good idea for me. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I don't think you should do cocaine. Can we talk?

Because middle-aged dad jam band has become a... I think it's like become a sensation beyond your expectations when you're creating. I mean, like, I just, I'm reading articles about this thing. Yeah, it's. It's really, it was just us screwing around in the garage as dads, and now it's become like, I go out and people are like, oh, I know you from middle age, yeah, I'm like, I also do other things. No. But yeah, we just did some songs on YouTube and now we're touring all over the place. We have a big tour coming up on the East Coast and late July. It's crazy. That's awesome. Can I have a pitch, Amelia knows it. A food pitch for you guys.

I love food and I love pitches. Middle-aged dad jam jams. You guys make, you sell preserves. That's not bad. That's a great idea. You know what we're doing actually is, I think this is public information. If not, you'll have to cut out. But the dogfish head brewery, where we're starting our tour in July, we're having a big show there,

and they're introducing middle-aged dad beer. Wow. And it's a special beer that has like drawings of us on the, thing and we invented, we came up with the whole recipe for it. And it comes with little, it's very tiny print on the can and it comes with reader's glasses, each can that you can pull off and read the tiny print with. That's good as hell. I'm going to admit, it's cooler than jellies. I think a beer is maybe a little bit cooler than a jar of preserves. But, yeah. There two things can exist. You're right. We can do both. What do you, okay, so here's my question.

Because I have been, I was in one band in my life. I was in a ska punk band in high school. I played alto sax. My other brother, Darrell. Yes. So, but I was never like someone who was like, oh, we're touring. We're doing a bunch of like shows or whatever. Like, how do you wrangle?

Because you've got like celebrity guests who are coming on to sing with you. You got a whole set list of it to manage. There's like 10, 11 people on stage. Right. It's exhausting. It was, the idea is that we're jamming and having fun and playing these great covers. and it is really super fun. But then we realize, like,

oh, now we have to, if we tour and we do these shows, which is so fun and people have fun at them. And like this year, we're doing a whole tribute to Wet Hot American Summer and we're doing all these, like, clips and fun little bonuses around that.

One of the funniest movies of all time. I mean, I know Nick feels the same way. But for my generation, like, I feel like that was a big, like someone in college or someone in high school is like, you got to watch this movie. Yeah.

Like, that was my introduction to it. But what I learned about, you know, in my mid-50s, about touring, at the lowest level is that it's a lot of, it's tiring. And, and, you know, the band has to figure out all the logistics. It's not like we have a crew. Right. And so it's, um, it's sort of weirdly a pain in the ass, but it's also a blast. And, and, you know, that's why we still do it. Look, I don't, I don't, I don't certainly don't want to have the awkwardness of arranging something that may not be possible for

whatever reason. But Mike Mitchell has a lovely singing voice. Oh my God. What are you doing? I don't know. You're just like, you're a very, You're a great karaoke singer. Mike, will you come sing with the band? I mean, this is an honor. I swear to God, I didn't tell him to do this, by the way. It's set. It's done.

Wow. That's very kind of you. You heard it here first. That's very kind of you. You know what song I think you should do? What's that? Radar love. I love radar love.

Just came to mind. I have a gut feeling about these things. Wow. Speak, well, I don't want to spoil anything, but I was just going to say there's a lot. lot of fun Easter eggs in the in the in your yeah it's a fun comedy let me say what the movie's about yeah go for it this is a it's a new movie it's come out tomorrow called gail dotry in the celebrity sex pass it stars zoe deutch as a midwestern woman who has a celebrity pass agreement with her

fiance he takes it literally actually happens to meet his celebrity has sex with her so our hero gale goes to l.a and then a psychic tells her if you want to save your relationship you have to even the score and go find your celebrity pass john ham and had sex with him and so So she goes on this crazy journey and she gathers up other people along the way to go find across this whimsical Hollywood to find John Hamm and had sex with him. John Ham for a certain demographic has got to be like at the top of the celebrity sex pass list. 100%. I just feel like it just like a just kind of defines. I mean, look at the guy.

Yeah, I know. On the scale of doughboys to John Hamm, there's a lot that falls in between. But I think that we're talking top and bottom, right? John, John Hamm to real ham. We're talking just like people, you know, very good-looking people, and then the hunkasaurus Rex. He is a hongasaurus wrecks. How about that hog? Which I know you can't comment on, but allegedly.

Just puts it over the top. Can't comment on that. Quite the fossil. You asked a question about it, though, and I can't remember what it was. It doesn't matter. No, Mitch was asking the question about Easter eggs in the movie. Oh, yeah. And yes, it's a very funny, silly, great, enjoyable comedy.

And then there's a whole layer of little Easter eggs that you might see the first or second or third time. And there's a lot of, you know, if you've seen anything I've done in the past, there's just a lot of little details and fun things in the background and stuff like that. Did you ever, speaking of Easter eggs in the literal sense, did you ever, like, dip Easter eggs? Did you ever do that with, like, growing up or with your family? I'm sure at some point I did. I mean, I'm a Jew, but, you know, you do those things.

Right. And I've done some Easter egg hunts. Yeah, I remember doing Easter egg hunt. Like, I always feel like they weren't real Easter. Like, they weren't real eggs. You say it too fast, though, it's Easter egg hunts. Easter egg hunts. And then as a parent, I've hidden some Easter eggs.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Do you do, like, the real eggs? When we're setting up for the Easter egg hunts. With the Easter egg hunts, are you doing a, are you doing a little plastic guys or do you do the actual ones? Well, you can do a hard-boiled egg. Hard-boiled egg, so it doesn't break. Got it.

Or, but sometimes they just, yeah, the plastic. Yeah. I feel like the plastic is what I encountered and they usually had a little prize inside. you're like, I do not want to talk about this guy's movie. No, I just heard Easter eggs. I'm like, we've got to dig into this. I'm shocked by this too. How many times did you dip eggs?

I feel like it was every year. Really? Really? Really? Really? I did it like a couple times. I think we all got tired of it. We were just a big Easter family.

It was fun to dip it part of the way and then gets colored in one way and then you dip it? Or is that something else? No, that's not. Yeah. I mentioned, I told the story by Bad Kid thing I did once is that I had a sleepover at a friend's house the night before Easter. I know. Pretty cool. The night before Easter was a sleepover?

The night before Easter was a sleepover at my friend's house. What a weird? Weird scheduling. Look, it's how it worked out. And so the mom was going to Saturday into Easter Sunday? Into Easter Sunday. The mom was going to have Easter back, like, was like put out your Easter baskets. So there were a few of us sleeping over and I had the idea

of making up some extra kids. So we get extra baskets because we had a basket and we got to write our name on it. That's very clever. Yeah. So I, I I made up two additional kids, and these surplus kids got a bunch more candy. And then afterwards, the mom was asking, like, who were Jason and Tyrone? Like, like, it was just like two made up guys. That's, that's pretty good.

That's, what a scheme. You're a little Easter egg cunt. So, so, so. Good bookend. Because the notion of celebrity sex past, like, I feel like that's, I don't know if, I, I, feel like the, I don't know if the Farley Brothers film Hall Pass is like what popularized it. I feel like, but this thing is always existed. And it's a thing that Mitch is certainly

encountered where people have just said, we started filtering our questions at Q&A is because people were just going up and saying, Mitch is my celebrity sex pass. You guys say to me, it's never worked out for me. I just hear about these things and then I don't never, I never, I don't know who these people are. And more often they're mostly supermodels. I mean, if it's Doe Boys fans' wife,

it would be a striking, a shockingly attractive woman. married to a little troll man. That's what we love. But who we love. We love our little troll man. God bless you. And I will fuck your wife if you ask me to. I'm very happy to do it.

You can snarl at me from the corner or whatever the hell. You eat rocks. Yeah, whatever turns you on. Whatever you're into. I've heard about these. I got to get in that doughboy's email, I guess. Just type in Hall Pass and you'll just get hundreds of email.

We got a lot of DMs and stuff. You'd be shocked. I would not be shocked. Look at these guys. Okay. No John Hamm, but I'll take it. Yeah, I'd say you're no John Ham. Does that way, do it?

Like, people are, are people creepy? What is it? No, they'll send in a question and they'll be like, P.S. Mitch is my hall pass. Wow. Wiger's my hall pass. Yeah, that's nice. Just like every celebrity hall pass, sex pass thing, they don't really mean it.

They don't really mean it. They're not saying like, if Mitch wrote back and said, great, meet me at this time at this hotel room, they would be like, ew. Yeah. I don't know. Or see you there. That's what I would say. I think I'd reach out to the husband because I feel like there's very often some sort of layer of hot wifing involves, some sort of cuckold fetish. We just need to, we need to like, I need to take a picture with my bicep and I should just sign it to everyone who does.

We need to send them out like a little nice gifts or something like that. What? What you should sign your bicep? What are you talking about? I don't know. You lost me. I'm saying send out little pictures that I sign for everyone who says on their hall pass. So of you flexing?

Yeah. You signed your name on it. I thought that was clashing than sending a hog pick or something. What about a calendar? A calendar is a great idea. Our buddy Stabros, Halkees, does a sexy calendar every year. And it's very funny. He's very funny.

He's a super funny guy. Have you ever gotten like, Or has anyone in your orbit ever been like, oh, I got the celebrity sex pass thing that like someone like kind of was like said that to me or I found out indirectly that I was someone's celebrity sex past? I mean, it's really not something that I've ever thought much about or talked much about until we made this movie. It was more just like an idea. Yeah, sure. I think it just is an idea. It's out of that.

Well, part of the point of our story in the movie is that it is just a silly thing to talk about. it's not really a meaningful thing and you're not supposed to take it literally. No. Nor does anyone. And then in our movie, the guy does take it literally and that's what sets off

this funny chain of events. In the 1950s, it wasn't like, Frank Sinatra is my hall pass. Frank Sinatra was just fucking these people's wives. And he was everyone's hall pass. It was unspoken. Yes, yeah.

He was just doing it. There's no, I think there is no real celebrity, you know, sex pass. But I'm sure in the 50s, wives said to their husbands, if, Frank Sinatra wanted to come over here and fuck me, I would have to do it. Yeah. I believe that that is probably true. Especially if what was said by one of his lovers, it holds water, which is that, you know, with apologies to John Hamm for bringing this topic up again. But the Frank Sinatra weighed 110 pounds or no, 117 pounds and 10 of those pounds were cock because he was like such a, he was a small man, but famously well-endowed.

He started on Milton Burl. Milton Burl, yeah, legendary. Did you ever meet him ever? No, I didn't. No. Uncle Miltie. I'm not that old. I mean, technically I could have when I was like...

I didn't know. He was alive into the 2000s, right? Or no, it could die a long time ago. He died a while ago. I think he was a rat. We overlapped in life, yes. Okay, all right. I was a child, I think, when he died.

I thought that maybe he was still in Hollywood. 2002. Okay, Oh, okay. All right. All right. But he was, okay. No, I haven't met him.

Yeah. I would not have thought that Milton Burrell knew about 9-11. He knew. He knew. And it sounds like that was it for him. Happened very late in his life. Yeah. Wow.

Maybe he was in the tower. A very delayed death. Uncle Miltie was the last life lost from 9-11. What, where is he buried, Uncle Miltie? I'm going to guess. Okay, I got it. I got it. Are you going to guess?

Louisiana. He is buried in Culver City, California. Wow. So close. Calvers, right down. No, docks me. Hillside Memorial. I just said right down near you.

That's not the, you're on the west side. Yeah, it's a part of, it's a, it's proximal to the west side of L.A. I think that the three of us have to, go down there, visit the grave. This will be great content. And steal it. Let's exhum that corpse. And steal it. And let's see that bad boy for ourselves.

Let's see how much bone is in that boner. Ebbyu, it hasn't decomposed all the way. Yeah. You can leave it anytime. We're sorry. No, I'm probably just going to take off. So we're talking, you know, we're a chain restaurant podcast. But as far as we were talking about things that could, we could be discussed on the podcast that we're not doing today, but I think we should touch on.

Jewish delis. Okay. Yeah, I'm curious. What do you look for in a deli? This is, you, you mentioned that you maybe want to do a Jewish deli, and we were talking about this outside of the Grove after, after your movie, and I said, I'm down to do it. I was down to do it, too.

And I said, you know, the tricky part is this guy, but I feel so bad that we've downgraded from Jewish tellies to Panera. That's what you get instead is Panera. Well, that was what they were like, yeah, we'll think about it. We don't know. And then the next call I get is, we're going to do Panera. I was like, oh, okay, sure. I think there was a, don't blame me.

You wanted to do these sandwich stuffers. I pitched doing a deli. I just said, like, you know, we got to pick one. And then there was no, like, you know, like if you're asking me to do all the legwork and figure out the right one is. What's past is past. We're here today. The decision was made.

We don't need to, you know, re-litigate it. Yeah. It's his fault. Yeah, I know. What if you were going to pick a deli to cover in the greater L.A. area, like, we're going to go to this deli. We're going to have a good or bad experience or come back here and talk about it. What would it have been? Well, there's two that come to mind. The first one is this brand new one called Mish, which just opened on LaBrea, which is like this incredibly cool, modern but retro Jewish deli that they cure their own corn beef and they make their own pastrami right there. They brine their own pickles. And they do all the traditional Jewish ethnic foods that you. you think of in a classic Jewish deli like in New York and LA. And they,

it's a huge space and it's really, you know, it's just a cool, elevated deli situation. And I went there one time and it was incredible. This isn't the Phil Rosenthal one, right? No,

that's called something. And I've been there a couple times and it's great on Larchmont. Wow. Max and Helens, maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah, I believe so, yeah.

And that one, when that opened, I felt like it was too much. hype and it was like an hour wait, you know, sometimes four hours wait to get in there. And it's like overpriced, blah, but then I actually went there and it's, it's, it's not that overpriced. And it's actually so, so good that it is, I like it a lot. Wow. Jewish delis, I mean, there can be, it can be price over then you're getting such huge portions,

I feel like that. Sometimes. Well, yeah, you go to a place like Langers. Yeah. Which is the other one, you know, the classic old, you know, the only Jewish deli that over for decades was comparable to, they say, to the New York ones, which I agree. And then, of course, canters is the other class. I do love canters.

We were talking about canters that night, too, because we were trying to figure out what would be the good late night food place to go to. Yeah. And in L.A. now, that's a little bit of an issue because things, it just is not what it was like pre-COVID. I think that's a-it-law. I think that's a-it-old. I think that's certainly when we're on the road, and maybe you've experienced something, I'm not sure what time your shows wrap if you ever have to get a late meal. But, like, there's a posity of options. We've done shows where we, like, we've finished a show, and the best option was McDonald's on

the row. Yeah. Which, hey, I get nothing wrong with McDonald's, but I'm just like, sometimes you want to go sit down a place and have a late night. New York is kind of back. But then there are places even in New York, I think that used to be open 24 hours. I just don't do it anymore. I was just in New York with my son.

And it was late at night and he wanted ice cream or like a snack. And it was not as easy to find as it used to be when I lived there before. Yeah. Wow. Katz's Deli, which maybe was 24 hours at one point, I don't know if that has changed. But Katz's, to me, has always been the gold standard. And now it has become a bit of a TikTok kind of like a, like a, a, you know, It's so...

Well, any place that's any good becomes kind of TikToky, which is unfortunate. But, you know, anyway. But yeah. That was the only time I ever waited in the line was it was his last visit.

And I've been going for whatever, however many 20 years or something at this point. You did Langers? We've never done Langers. We've never done Langers. Can you give some context for Langers for people who've never been there? So Langers is near MacArthur Park, I think,

and it's... Which is not, like, unfortunately, it should be a lovely park, but it's currently a lawless open-air drug market. Thanks a lot, Karen Bass. Yeah, it probably once was a Jewish neighborhood now no longer, but this one place, it's a very large restaurant,

has been there for decades and decades. I don't know when it opened, but family owned, and it's just like a legendary landmark, and it's just seeped in history, and they have their famous pastrami and their famous corned beef, and it's like massive portions, and the milkshakes and all the other things that go with it, and it's the fries or whatever,

and it's really, really good. They have it, like, they do the thick cut pastrami. Yeah. And which is, which is great. And then they have, I forget which number it is, but there's like one. 17? I think it's the number 17. Right, right.

Which is like kind of like signature sandwich on their menu that everyone says to get. And you get it just like, oh, wow, this lives up to the hype, which isn't always the case for things. Yeah. And you end up, like, bringing a ton home with you. Yeah. Because it's so much food. Langers is great. We could have done langers.

Well, what the fuck? No one pitched langers. I didn't know that's what we're talking about. I would have done langers. You do realize you rule doughboys. with an iron fist, right? That's not true. You should do Mish, though. This is the new I would love to do Mish. This is like newsworthy. Yeah.

And do them all. I'll come back. Okay, great. Is there, are there Jewish deli chains? That's the issue. We're talking about this from a chain restaurant podcast, and that's a thing that people do sometimes yell at us about. No, I'm just saying. I'm saying like, people are like, like, oh, that one's not in L.A.

That one's only in L.A. I live in Iowa. Where do you should go to a chain, though? I feel like Jewish deli chains, though, the only ones that I can think of our crappy like Noah's bagels, you know. Noah's bagels, which we've covered. And Noah's bagels, I think, is fine. It's not really a deli and it's not anything special. No, for sure.

So, yeah, I don't know. I can't think of any myself. Noah's bagels are not bad. You know what? A fun on set. I feel like I see Noah's bagels on set quite a lot. We should talk about this topic because Amelia was on, as we mentioned, as a, as a small role in Gail Dottree, was on set for one of the days.

And speaking of roles of a different sort, said the catering was notable. Yes, I was on set for one day, and something that stuck out to me was how good the food was. Wow. Well, I appreciate the compliment. I made the food. So I got up at 4 in the morning to cook for a couple hours before we start shooting. Wow. No, I don't even remember the food. Yeah, I took a picture of the menu that day.

Meatloaf with mushroom and gravy, fried chicken, blackened cat. fish with tartar sauce. Oh, yeah, yeah. Our fall pasta. So our producer, like line producer, Franny, she always gets that really good caterer. She tries to, you know, even on a very low budget

film like ours, she makes sure that everyone's well fed, which is important. Yeah. And she heard there was a doughboy that was going to be there that day, it seems like. No, she didn't know I was going to be there. I bumped into her for the first time in like a decade. I was like, oh, Franny, hey. Wow. People always say, people ask me advice sometimes.

And they're like, I have zero money to spend on making my little movie. And I say, whatever you do, no matter what, feed people well and get a good sound person. That's great, great advice. Yeah, that is great advice. And we got a great sound person here today. And one who's not here, too. And everyone's been fed. Everyone has been fed.

Have they been fed well? We'll talk about it. Meals, that was, so that was the one day you spent on set? Yes. So was that the way you had to get another thing that happened that you told. I don't know if you want to get it. into it. You don't have to. You told me about this. I texted you guys about this when it happened. Yeah. I blew up the bathroom and...

What do you mean? You had diarrhea? Yeah. And then I leave the bathroom and Zoe Deutsch is waiting and to go in and she goes in right after me. I felt so horrible. That is, that is tough when someone's battened clean up right behind you and you've just made a mess, but especially with someone you know. Yeah. Yeah, that's rough. There's a scene of clean. And she's so clean. Yeah. Boy. There's a scene in the movie where she's kind of green, I think it's probably the day. Has a clothespin over or nose. You want to hear a quick story related to that? One time I went to go see the play Stomp with my parents in New York, a long time ago.

And if you know that play, they're just stomping around the whole time. And I was feeling sick. And so I left the theater in the middle of Act 1 to go to the bathroom, and I had felt it coming out at both ends, and I had to pick. And so I threw up all over the floor of this bathroom in this theater right before intermission. Oh, my God. And filled the toilet also. Jesus Christ.

And I just was like, and then I, so I went up to the, you know, usher or whatever at the theater. And I'm like, look, just letting you know, there's a big mess up there. Sorry. That's wild. And, yeah. What are you supposed to do? Did you say it was you or did you say, oh, I just found this? I think I might have just been like, I don't know how that just.

I saw it, thought I let you know. I think that's the way to do it. And you know what? In a way, they'd be like, this person was very helpful to us. And even if it was you, they're happy that it was, you know. That it was that they were informed. And also, like, it's just like, what? Yeah, when you got to make that choice?

I mean, it's a selfish choice. What are you going to do? And now, maybe a telltale throw up all over my face was. Well, the alternative is you, as you puke into the toilet and then you shit your own pants. And that's also a, it's a different sort of nightmare. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is a different sort of nightmare. Now, if you're at home, what you can do is you can bring it like your waistbasket over,

and you can shit into the toilet while you puke into the waste basket. Freddie never deals with this sort of stuff too often. Freddy Kruger. Okay. Freddy. Kruger. I don't know if you know, we're friends. Freddie.

Kruger. Do you mean, wait, but doesn't he usually... You said a different kind of nightmare. I was just thinking, like, oh, he never like... Oh, got it. He never has you, like, he never has you, like, he never has you worried. about like shitting or puking. Wes Craven's new nightmare is not

about a bunch of people having embarrassing bathroom trauma, which is a thing that happens in some nightmares. Though the master of horror would be able to pull that off, I feel like. Yeah, of course. This is the worst, I think this is one of the worst like human experiences is having what happens. I don't know if it ever happens to Bob. De Niro.

It's happened. It's had to have happened to De Niro. You know it's happened to De Niro. There are times when you, like, the opposite happens, and you feel like, man, I just pulled off a bank highs. Like, I remember once I was, I was in Vegas and I was, oh, this was at our buddy's bachelor party. I was super hungover. You went home early. I went home.

I did go home early. It's true. I got motion sick on the party bus. Yeah. So I booked a one-way flight. Yeah. And then he got a, he booked a flight back. And then a different sort of nausea is caused by my own behavior.

but I was like, I'd been drinking basically the entire day and I was very hung over. And then the next morning, I was in the Vegas bath. I was in the lobby bathroom of the hotel. And I was just like shitting my brains out. Just like fucking, just like magma, just stand blasting the bowl. And but while I was doing it, I felt the urge to puke. Really painting a picture. And I was able to elegantly like, like, like swivel and then just like puke onto my own diarrhea.

but I did not cause any, there was no splash zone or anything, like it'd not cause any sort of mess. I, like, I left it as cleaner than I found it, like a Boy Scout. And I was like, I was like, I can't, I pulled it off, you know. I came out and I'm like, I'm like Tim Robbins and Shawshank Redemption. Can I just say for the sake of the listeners that that's sort of a West Coast shortened lingo nickname you're using for Vegas? you're referring to Las Vegas.

Las Vegas, Nevada, which is like kind of like a, it's a entertainment pub. We call it Vegas here, but, you know, it's just because it's like. So you barfed on your diarrhea is what you're saying? Yeah, it was pretty gross. Do you take a picture of it?

I mean, if I knew Amelia at the time, I would have. Phone eats first. I'm picturing your sweatshirt in a way. For our audio listeners, I have like this sort of Jackson Pollocky, I guess, sweatshirt. I like it. I think it's a, I think it's a, you're giving off like a very sailor.

I liked it until you mentioned the, the puk nature of it. It's not the color of shit and puke. Although, man, I was hanging out with Tim Calpacchus of the sloppy boys. I know, I couldn't believe you. I didn't join you. Me and Tim and Mookie and Eve Anderson at a lovely time, lovely little hang. You were invited. I had, I truly had a migraine.

I believe you. I, of course believe you. And I got hot tongue pizza, which I thought was really good. Oh, that's fun. You mentioned the sloppy boys. This is the dough boys. We were both in the Napa boys. Yes.

And then this morning at the gym, I was listening to the Pet Shop boys. How about that? Mitch was in a sketch group called the birthday boys. And our good friends have the podcast, The Action Boys. Boys are everywhere. The boys are back.

The boys are back. In town. Boys in summer. But Calpacus brought up, we have puking us all the time. No, stop. I didn't even thought about it that way. But we're just walking because I think,

I understand, I understand if intellectualized that we have shit in us at all times, but to think that we also have puking us at all times because when you're puking, that's coming from somewhere but that puk's just sitting there. Let's not think about it. Yeah, I can't. That's actually after our meal, I don't want to think about it.

I found that repulsive. I don't know why that grossed me out so much. Me too. It's really fucking nasty, Ken. Why are you cursing? It's like the ring curse. You don't have to give it to us as well. I don't know.

You look very much like you're like an assistant on a boat or something. Okay. You mean that as a compliment. I like it. That's a very nice compliment. This episode is brought you by booking.com. You know, there's a lot of times where I want to just get away, run away from the podcast, move to another state or just go to another state for a little bit, rent out a place, relax, get my mind off of Wig's. Or you know what?

Maybe Wags and I go together. We go around, we watch some live soccer games together. I know that he's a soccer nut. Wiggs loves soccer. If you're wondering why I'm alone, it's maybe because the other guy loves soccer so much. But you know what? Anytime I want to get from point A to point B, I use booking.com because they make it simple. That's right.

Point A being Headgum Studios. I'm stuck here. It's like a little prison. And you know what point B would be for me? The Hawaiian Islands. That's right. And you know what? I can go on booking.com and I can book myself a night.

nice stay in Maui or an Oahu. How does that sound? It seems a little bit better than staying here at headgum and talking about Wendy's. So yeah, I want to get out of this place quite a bit. I want to get out of Headgum, out of California, go and relax in the Hawaiian Islands. You know what? Go back to Boston. And sometimes I don't want to stay at my mom's house.

Maybe I book something there. I go on booking.com and say, not my mom's house. That's what I click. And you can do that too. It's simple and easy. You can get a view. you can get a pool, you can get things you want. It's easy to plug it all in at booking.com.

So do it. Go on, book that trip. It's easy. Booking.com, booking. Yeah, tell them the doughboy sent you. What's up, everybody, it's your boy the Spoon, man. These days, whether you're browsing, streaming, shopping, or gaming, every click you make online is being tracked.

And nobody likes being watched, unless that's your thing. But even you have nothing to hide, you don't want to be watched. If you want to keep your browsing private, reduce your digital footprint and increase your online security, the NordVPN is the perfect solution. That's right. A VPN reroutes your internet traffic through a secure server,

encrypting your data and hiding your real IP address. That means better privacy, better security, and no one knowing where you're actually browsing from, which could be good for people like me who are in Canada and they want to watch some of their favorite U.S. shows. Or say you're on some island somewhere. You're on a little island somewhere.

in the Pacific and you want to watch your TV shows or you don't want anyone to know where you are. I don't know who this specific person could be, but if you don't want someone knowing where you are, you use NordVPN. They won't know what you're looking for. They don't know where you're located. They don't. It's your stuff.

It's secure. And you know what? For me, I just use it to watch TV and I think it's great. Norv VPN makes it very simple. Just one click to connect and enjoy fast speeds and access to over 8,900 servers across 129 countries so you can switch your virtual location at any time. What if you want to watch some British TV, eh, mate? Well, guess what, governor?

Just turn on your little Nord VPN and you're good to go. You can watch some British television. It's great for protecting your data on public Wi-Fi, accessing your streaming services while traveling, avoiding ISP throttling, and keeping your online identity private. One account even covers up to 10 devices across all major platforms. So to get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to NordvPN.com slash doughboys. Our link will also give you four extra months on the two-year plan.

There's no risk with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box. You know what? Get NordVPN, and you can watch soccer all over the globe, like my co-host, the soccer hooligan, Nick Weiger. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, we talk about mental health. more openly now, but asking for help can still feel hard and BetterHelp's latest research confirms

it. Better Helps, 2006 State of Stigma Report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise, yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. Wow. You know, I've always felt better when I go and talk to a therapist and I think that there should be no stigma attached. And I know that my co-host, the soccer hooligan Nick Weiger, he always benefits from talking to somebody, getting therapy. It's a mental workout for your mind. It's going to the gym for your brain.

And you know what? There's a great place to do it. And it's BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session. based on over 1.7 million client reviews. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct

and are fully licensed in the U.S. BetterHelp handles initial matching through a questionnaire to identify your needs using their 12 plus years of experience to get it right the first time. If unhappy, you can switch therapists at any time with Taylor recommendations. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support,

start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash doughboys. That's better help.com slash doughboys. Do it. Sam, we're talking Panera today. You worked at a Panera in high school. Yep. Yeah, I worked there for about six months.

It was kind of a terrible experience. I don't know how far I should go and do it now. But, yeah, I would open some days at five to get all the bagels out. And I would be the soup transfer as well. Wait, soup transferer? Yeah. That was a position? Kind of.

So this is why I haven't been there in like 12 years. I don't want to spoil it now. we can get into when we start talking soup. Remember, we're full of barf at all times. Maybe that's why you're going to tell something bad? But, yeah, it was a great. It was a great experience. No, tell us.

Tell us. It just ruined me on the soups because they would come in the bags of soup, basically, when they'd get delivered frozen, and then they'd have the refrigerator ones where we'd cut them open and replace the ones on the line. And then at the end of the day, we would just take the leftovers and put them back in those soup bags, and they were undated.

So there'd be bags of soup that we'd, didn't know how long. That is so nasty. And also not that surprising. I mean, it makes sense, but that changed me about their soups forever for sure. I like Panera's soups. I would not, have not suspected. It was like the Olive Garden model of boil in a bag. But of course, it is. Just whatever the cheapest way to do at its scale. When you think about, we're all kind of bags of soup in a way. Just waiting to puke. Yeah, we are kind of bags of soup. I feel like you go into any, I think the first time I went into a Panera, I could just feel a gut feeling of this is disgusting.

Wow. And I don't think I've gone back in. We were saying that it's a place where you, on a past episode, we've said that it's a place where you can break bad news. It's a good place to like tell someone that, like, your, you know, your dad is dying or something. I also think the name is gross. Like, I don't know.

And also I went, I mean, by the way, I'm not giving away my rating yet. Sure. I gave it a fresh look today. But I feel like I've gone in there a couple times, like at airports and stuff and gone, up to the counter and then before I ordered, like, no, no, I can't do it. Wow. That's fair.

I think that is, that is, you know what? I think Panera is fine for when you want to try to eat, I mean, specific things, eat healthy-ish, like a, like a Greek salad. I've always been a fan of the Greek salad and the tomato soup there. All right. I've told you that. I have no quarrels with Panera in the abstract. We like the soup.

We like that old soup that they put back in bags. In, you know, when I'm on the road, it's like, to me, it's like a reliable place that is, it does have the thing that you want in a chain, which is consistency. I feel like the locations are predictable in terms of their output. Maybe that has to do with their product coming in frozen bags or whatever, but what, like, you know what you're going to get. I have a question, you guys would be the experts on this. Does, is there any chain these days that isn't consistent? Yes. Yes.

There's a number of them that are very location dependent. In fact, the chains have gotten so bad. the last since we've started the podcast. It's bad. The show is never great anyways, but now the chains are also getting, like, more evil and the food is sucking more that it's harder to do.

Yeah, I feel like, I feel like subways are like the Wild West. You can get anything at a subway. And the Wendy's in particular, like, like this day, like there's so much locational variance. And also now they're all talking about how it's not cheap anymore. No, it's not, yeah. McDonald's is super expensive. Yeah, everything, everything's pricey.

Wendy's gone downhill so bad. That's the one we talk about. They wouldn't even flinch at the stomp bathroom. They wouldn't care. I'm about to say, hey, it's funny to think of all the stomp guys going in and slipping with all their stomp. That is fun to think about. With all their stomp stuff. Just the noise it would make.

Because they're bringing that in the bathroom. They're definitely bringing in the bathroom. But imagine being like 10 minutes before you puke and shit everywhere and feeling that feeling you have and then having to sit and watch a show a bunch of people. stomping their repeatedly on the thing. I was like, guys, I got to, I can't leave it. Was it food poisoning, do you believe it? Because both ends is a... I don't know.

That's only happened one other time in my life when I actually was at a hotel in Mayorka in Spain, and I, it happened right as I was to check out. Oh, God. And I said to, I called up, but I'm like, I can't leave right yet because I've just got sick everywhere and they're like, you have to.

That's insane. I'm really sick. They're like, sorry, somebody's coming. And so I like shakily drove my rental car back to the airport and I sat in the airport for many hours until I felt like safe enough to get back on a plane because I had to go to Paris. Oh my God.

I've never had it. I've never, both ends, I've never had it before. Luckily, that's never happened to me. I'm excited for you to have your... It's going to happen at some point. Mitch, you mentioned. that we like the soups. This was when we had Jason Concepcion, our friend

on, for Crocdough Burnfa est, which was a soup forward month. Jesus. And we only had the soups there, but which, you know, again, as per Sam, are not made fresh in house, but they're batched at a central kitchen, but we gave it a good fork scores

all around. What do we give them? We gave, I went four, Jason went four and a half. You went five. Oh, shit. You, you put we're going to put this some bitch in the platinum and plate club. It was originally found... Well, we were also strictly doing out of suits. We were only doing soup. So that was only

the soup ratings. I'm not judging. There were over 2,200 Paneras in the U.S. and Canada. It was founded as the St. Louis bread company. And I don't remember, I looked this up with the etymology of Panera before why it's named that. But it started in Missouri

and the salad stuffers are a new thing that they have launched. It's... I don't think this promotion works. Like, I don't think as LTOs, the salad stuffers have legs. I just feel like I was singularly unimpressed with, basically what they are is they're an existing salad just crammed into a hollowed out panera loaf,

a hollowed out baguette. And where does the country stand on baguettes at the moment? Where is everyone's, thumbs up? The whole point of a baguette is it's really great. bread. You want a good baguette. If you go to like a French bakery or something and then you have like a delicious sandwich on a beautiful baguette, sure. Otherwise, nobody wants gross white bread. But you go to like a bubbing grandma's like a good, like a good local bakery here, you know, and you get a high quality like baguette baked in house. I'm just like, I'll take all that you got. I'll take all that you got. Sure. Yeah. I'm, I'll take that all that I can baguette. I like that. I like that. Quoting Letterman, too. after the, is that what you're doing? Oh yeah, after, after Future Islands, their performance. A great, you never seen that.

Check it out. Live television. Not live. Whatever. You get one. You know what I'm saying. Live to tape. Live to tape television.

Live to tape television. Live to tape television. Great moment in live to tape television. There's been a lot of them. I have a coffee table book. Great moments and live to tape television. I feel like in my head, French Spaghetti feels so like 80s or 90s to me.

Like, and look, I'm not saying I don't, I dislike it. I do, I'm just saying like, it felt like, uh, Obampan or something. Like, it felt like, it felt like, uh, the French baguette was, same kind of thing. I felt like it was flying off in the 80s and 90s. Now I feel like it just feels dated or something. Well, I'll say, I do, I kind of almost like the stuffers in, in a way today. I, I, I, I, but I don't think that they're good. And I don't.

And I don't. But I think that Yeah, liking something and thinking that it's good are very different. I thought the stuff in theory was all right. Like, for what it is, I mean, if you, as for like a piece of gross food from a gross restaurant, it wasn't the worst thing. Because it's basically a big salad inside the hollowed out roll. Why not, I guess?

Yeah. But wouldn't you like, because another way you can get that combination of ingredients is you get a salad and then you get a baguette as your side. And I feel like I'd just rather have that. I feel like that's like, why is this superior? I guess it's a handheld. I guess if you're going to eat it in a moving vehicle. Often that is what you're to walk down the street or something. Yeah, sure.

I guess that's the only reason. But I just know, I feel like the bread here was particularly low quality. And I wonder if it's because of the coring out of the center pot. that if it's maybe just a little bit less fresh. So my whole, so what I was trying to get back to is that I almost like that the baguette is kind of shitty. Like I don't have an issue with it. Huh.

Like I think it's like, I'm also, we've talked about this before. We're so sick of like faccia or. Oh, I can't stand faca. And like also just. Chabata's been overplayed. Chabata's been overplayed. That's why I'm like, I'm almost like, it made me appreciate just kind of a shitty baguette.

I was like, oh, I was kind of okay with it. The thing I wasn't okay with is that I bit into my sandwich and there. was a olive with an olive pin in it, and I almost cracked my tooth. That was, that was worse. That was bad. This was the Greek salad stuffer with chicken you got. Romaine with Greek dressing, grilled chicken, grape tomatoes, feta, sliced cucumbers, red onions, calamada olives, pepper and chini, salt and pepper, all in our soft Italian

stuffer roll. So it's not even a baguette. They call it an Italian stuffer roll. Okay. It's just Italian bread. Yes, one of them olives had a pit in it. Isn't a stuffer roll, a sort of couch? It sounds like it.

It might be. Sorry. Continue. That, I mean, that's like, that's that, I don't want to use the word inexcusable, but that's like, that's like, that's a real bad foible. Yeah. That's a real, real rough mistake. It was a, it was, it was, it was very close. Yeah.

I'm going into the dentist tomorrow just by chance, so I would have been perfect timing if I was going to lose a tooth. You still don't want to lose a tooth. Yeah, I guess you never want to lose a tooth. Even if you happen to have a dentist's a dentist's tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I'm going to the dentist tomorrow. Are you really? Yeah, I had to get my, because I went to the dentist last week, and my night guard, I've just grinded the shit out of.

Are you grinder? Depends on the, with the... I grind my teeth at night. I grind the shit out of them, and so I have, like, this night guard. Night guard that stands at the end of your bed. We've established it before. Yes, yeah, yeah. He is a menacing presence, but rewards other spirits.

it's away. I just, I just chomp into this, and it's just like, it's been worn down into, like, a thin layer of, of whatever the material is, so I had to get a new one. So I'm getting, I'm getting that, uh, that tomorrow. Wow. I'm going in for a, uh, consultation for my, a root canal. Oh my gosh. I might need a, I might need a root canal. Are they, is it hard? Well, they're, classically supposed to be terrible, but I think they're not as bad as they used to be. I got one. I thought it was fine. Really? Yeah, I went to, I went to a good root canal. It seems almost like you would like to do that. No, I'm excited for a root canal. You know what was fun is that they used the cold?

They have like an instrument that's very cold. Oh, yeah. And they put it on my tooth and the one that, you know, it was like, yeah, shit. Like when they put it on the root canal tooth, I said yowch, you know. Maybe there's a bespoke artisan root canal place in Beverly Hills. You could check out. You know, I'm going to Glendale. And you know what?

A lot of the chain restaurants are better than Glendale too. And I'm hoping the same as for dentistry. Look, I had a great place I went to. I could give you the recommendation. You try to give me the recognize. You just weren't interested. Toonzie, I have a doctor. My dentist is Dr. Tunzi.

He's the great. He's the best dentist in the world. Mitch just happens to go to the best dentist in the world. He's great. Toonzie is fantastic. How could anyone ever know that? Because you'd have to go to every dentist. You know, I don't even have to see the other ones.

Tunesi's so good. Tunesi is fantastic. You've probably, there's no chance you've been to more than 10 dentists in your entire life. I think I've been to maybe two. we were three. But he's the best in the entire world out of millions of dead. Tunesie is up there. And his last name is fun.

It sounds like a cartoon. That is fun. That is a lot of fun. It does help a lot. That's fun. He's always done right by. I like Tunesi quite a bit. You know, it's great in Glendale.

They have the Americana Mall. And in there, they have a movie theater that's playing Gail Dotter and this That is true. How about that? Yeah. That's all. That's something people could do tonight even. You could go to tonight.

You could go to Panera and then, well, you don't have to go. If you want. If you wanted to. Yeah. And then go to, you should go. That's what I love about Do Boys. It's like, we tell you what we found, what we thought, and then you make your own choice. Yeah, make your own choice.

I think I might go to that Americana, the cheesecake factory if you can get a table. Sure. That's a zoo. That's a good cheesecake factory. And then you also get the Nordstrom restaurant there. That's true. People forget about the Nordstrom restaurant. It's a little sleepier.

But if you want to go off the beaten path. If you want a Wayne double feature, go to Barnes & Noble's, grab yourself Napa Boys on Blu-ray or DVD. I will buy mine right now. Yeah. It's on it's on it's in the it's in that americana Barnes & Noble by the way the psychic Carrie Kenny Cilver plays the psychic yes And I was on the show love with with Carrie and she I love her

She's the best incredible she's uh was said the nicest thing to me ever on a film set anyone's ever said to me I'm not gonna I won't share it but wow it was a very well you really set it up I know but I did now I don't want to like uh It's like a personal thing you know what I get that's fair fine totally fair it was it was very I just did a scene and then she was like, and it was kind of like, you got what it takes, kid sort of comment. Oh, that's funny. Very, very, very sweet. She's like a sister of me.

I've known her since 1988. Wow. I loved her. And she was wrong with what she said, but it was very kind. It was very, very kind of her to say. Wrong and kind. David, you got the ultimate garden steak salad stuffer. I sure did.

Which is greens, arugula, a garden herb dressing, sliced steak, and sweet potatoes, grilled broccoli, roasted corn, et cetera, et cetera. This is also, you also got a site of mac and cheese, which I didn't have any mac and cheese this time. I've had their mac and cheese a number of times. Mitch, you had some as well. I got some left. I got, I kind of ordered, I got some, a couple soups that I'm taking home in a mac and cheese, but I wanted bites of them. I should have given you guys bites. I would have offered you. I was only doing the stuff. I had a whole thing. I love, the mac and cheese was, I was hungry. It hit the spot for me. It's exactly what you expect. Oh, you got some.

I did. I had a whole thing of it. And it's what exactly what, exactly what you could expect from a place like Panera in not a bad way. And it was great. No, I agree. I like their maconages. You said, you're saying, dough boys items. We've talked about doing dough boys items for a long time. We're like, we shouldn't do chain restaurants. Well, it's something we called doughboys items. It might not be called dough boys items. It's a bad title. But maybe it's a bad title. But he was like, I'm just going to do items. And I was like, all right, well, I'm going to get a few soups. I'm going to save some of them for tomorrow. You got like eight things. Hold on a second. I didn't get eight fucking things. I got one stuffer, one Italian

stuffer, which sounds like one of your uncles. Italian Stuffer, Scorpion, the Marino family tree. I got one Italian stuffer and I got two soups and a mac and cheese and one soup was with the idea

for later, and then the other one I just wanted to taste, which is the broccoli cheddar soup. And it is really good. I'm not thrilled to hear that I might have been from an old bag. It might not have been. Maybe they change the way. Well, can I just talk about what I ordered? Please.

Because the salad in the thing was, I like the ingredients and I kind of like the taste, but especially now that you mentioned, it did feel like it might have been taken in and out of a few bags. It sort of like all mush, sort of felt like leftovery and mushed together a little bit. Right. Yeah. And then that shitty bread. It was just like if that was the same salad, maybe a new batch of it, and then in a

really nice piece of howl it out bread, great. if I was going to be charitable to Panera, this is a play, you know, we were eating in the head gum kitchen, just this place just swarming with workers. Just, you know, we were able to squeeze a little bit of a place, but just, you know, like the day to day of just like how much work that goes on at the head gum offices was we were just trying not to intrude on them. But we were over there, we had a small corner of the disabled. We just signed the jackass podcast. People cheering. They were, you know, they were having fun and they should be. But we were over there and we were, we had a little corner of the table.

We were eating it. This really suffers from travel because by the nature of it, you can't mix the dressing when you receive it. It's been sitting in that like lemon herb or whatever the fuck you got. Bonsia bunch of headgums employees for a while. With their lunch pails, like they're going to work. They're hard hats, yeah. Like they're building a building in New York in the early 1900s. It's a living.

But they're hard at work. That's how you, that's how the, that's how the, that's how the, that's how they're the sausages made. Anyway. I've been wanting to yes and this bit, but I'm having trouble. You're baffled by it? I'm just waiting until the next one. I think part of your confusion may be

what you described as a bit is the reality that we live in. Sure. We were just like, you know, just describing things that are we experienced normally. Anyway, the... Maybe he doesn't want to get involved with what seems to be a clear grievance from...

One of the hosts of the show. They do have a new photograph of their corporate retreat. That's fun. Their trip to Miami. Let's not get kicked out of the student. Who's getting kicked out? I'm joking. It's fine. Moving on.

I don't even want to fucking... I don't want to take part of this bit either. Fuck headgum. I got the Caesar salad stuffer and the strawberry poppy seed chicken salad stuffer. Oh, wait, the strawberries were out of stock. Not out of season. No more strawberries in strawberry season. I guess there was a run of the strawberry poppy seed salad.

So instead, I get the Fuji apple chicken salad stuffer. You got two stuffers? I got a couple. By the way. I got a little dessert for us to split, and I saw you taking bites of that dessert. I didn't get any. Oh, yeah. Wait, what was the dessert?

The cranberry bread or where they're those. It was. Terrible. It's pretty bad. Yeah, it wasn't that good. Oh, I thought you guys were saying it was good. And then I ate it and I was like, yeah, it is pretty good. but you guys didn't like it?

No. Oh, all right. Yeah, it wasn't that good. I think you were right. It was like, it comes out of a bag, too. The Fuji Apple chicken salad stuffer, which has the, again, that combo of greens and romaine, balsamic vinaigrette, which wasn't bad. Grilled chicken, grape tomatoes, red onions, toasted becon pieces, feta and apple chips.

It was just aggressively sweet. And I don't, I think it was just the presence of too many apple chips. And maybe the beacons, I didn't think they were candied, but maybe they were. It was just adding like a lot of really sugary quality to it. Maybe it was the dressing, honestly. Also, a good sign of a bad salad is when there's too many things. It's like, leave it. If it's good ingredients, leave it alone.

Too many components. Uncapachka. But, you know, the one that had fewer ingredients was the Caesar salad stuffer, which I thought was pretty bad as well. It was just like Caesar dressing with shaved parmesan and croissant croutons. So we're getting bread inside of bread. I don't know. Red inside of bread can be fun. It can be fun, but it was not fun in this context.

Also, they were out of the fruit cup, which I ordered as my side. Also, a Caesar dressing is not, like, a good Caesar dressing is not the easiest thing to pull off. That's true. Yeah. Also, is the sides of, that's, but you get French spigette on the side with soups, right? So it's an Italian loaf that these suppers are in. So that does explain why the bread is a little bit different, maybe bad. When I make the, like, like, I'll, speaking of Caesar dressing, just go back to that for one second. Like, that's a thing, though, like, when we have a Caesar salad, like at home, I'll just

make the dressing from scratch. Because it's not that many components, but it makes a huge difference. And so, you know, you just whip up that bad boy. Like, if you're making it in-house, it's a different thing. But again, all the stuff is arriving in bottles or bags. It's just not going to be that same level of quality. I just, I don't know. I was not impressed by this LTO one bit. I just don't think it works. And I don't think it's long for this world. The dessert I thought was not great. Mitch, you also got the tomato soup, the, the, the cherry lime fresca, and then... Here it is, the cherry lime fresco.

The Asiago croissant twist. That was for everybody. I'm not, I didn't... Bamberger orange slices for me. And the bowl of broccoli cheddar soup. A little bit. I tried the Asiago croissant twists. Yeah.

Also shitty. They were not great. No. I think it was maybe my favorite thing. This is actually okay, this cherry lime fresco. You want to take us a bit? Uh, okay, sure. Mitch is passing his beverage to me.

I can't quite reach it. There we go. Kind of an awkward. ankle. Does it have caffeine in it? I don't know. This sucks. I don't like it at all. Oh, you don't like it at all? No. But it might be there's just too much melted ice. It's just, it's watered

down. I like to. I'm really not a fan. I'm hanta free, by the way. Jesus. It tastes like stale high sea or something. Yeah. Yeah. It tastes like really diluted. With a little bit of medicine.

Yeah, really diluted cranberry sauce. I like juice. With a little NyQuil. Oh, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't hate it. I didn't hate it like you guys. I don't think it's good, but I don't hate it. So, Sam, you hadn't had Panera in a long time. Probably 12 years.

I have had it since I worked there, but it's been a while. You got a bacon, turkey, Bravo, no cheese. Was this a regular order of yours? You said the bravo. You came in there and you said the Bravo. You seemed like it was like seeing an old friend. Because that's what I would get, because we get, like, lunch, you know, get 60% off for lunch, and I typically get that one.

So I wanted to see. They don't just give you the food? No, they don't. When you're eating there? No. Minimum wage in Chicago is like $7. Jesus. Yeah, that's...

But I wanted to try it again to see if it was similar to what I remember that. Work all day in our kitchen. You get a discount on the food. On the crappy food. I thought it was subpar for sure. And the bread was way different. Oh, so it was not a bite of a memory. It was on downhill.

You noticed all the difference. It was very different. The bread used to be a lot different. More fluffy and like briot-style. Not that it was even that great then. I did notice that the tomatoes were really good this time. Okay. That can be really rough.

You know what? Appreciate your fairness and saying what is good. Yeah. They're good tomatoes on the sandwich. That was good part of it. Amelia, you had the you pick two of a Frantega chicken panini and a French onion soup. By the way, the single of pinini, pinino. Yes.

Also, doesn't pan mean bread, which is where Panera would come from? I would assume. Yeah, but I don't know if there's like the Panera, if it's like a portmanteau. I don't know exactly what it means. be like specifically. Maybe it's like the era of bread. Feels like it'd be so easy for somebody to look up. It's probably the era of bread.

A place where bread is stored. A place where bread is stored. That's... Wait, what? A panera is a place where bread is stored. Yeah. That's usually what I get every time I go. And usually it hits this time.

It missed. It was really... Wow. It was soggy and I didn't tell anyone this, but I found a hair sandwich. When I pulled it apart, I ripped it apart. I just saw a long hair.

Well, I just want to be extra hair. Disgusting. The hair that's disgusting, that might have been something I introduced to the proceedings while we were in the kitchen. It doesn't matter. Commenting on the soggyness, though, just for the record, how long was it from pickup to when we ate it? Well, it was delivered, and it was sitting there for maybe 10 minutes before. Okay. Good to know.

Just, you know, I like to know the data. Yeah. No, that's important information. to know. Usually I try to time it out so it gets here right at 4.30 came a little bit early. Yeah.

I feel like you'd rather find a longer hair, right? It was long, yeah. That to me is like... If it's short and wiry, no, that's... A longer... Yeah. It could be...

I mean, that's not going to make you happy, but I was going to say it could be my beard hair if it's short and wiry. Like, it could be a beard hair. It doesn't necessarily have to be a pub. Really? So someone in the kitchen with short curly hair Could be, you know, I mean, that could be.

I don't think that cubes are going to be falling into your meal. It was dark, though. And honestly, it was probably mine. I got a latte as well. Okay. Really good, I will say. Wow. Cool.

There was a restaurant. I think we've blurted every time, but when I told you that I ate creamed corn, and then there was a long hair, and I, that's disgusting. I'm sorry. But I remember pulling the hair out of my throat. That's awful. Do you guys know? Was that your meatball store?

Yeah, that is my meatball story. I swallowed a meatball. I felt a hair in my tongue. And then I took the hair out and I felt all the contents of the meat come up. That is so disgusting. Oh my God. That's awful. That's almost like what they were doing a cartoon to eat the meatball twice.

I took the hair. I looked like a cabab. Like was there a fish hook at the end of the hair? I don't know how it happened. It looked like a kebab of meat, like a meat stick on a hair after I pulled it out. Did you eat the meatball again or no? No, I threw it in the garbage. And you've been off meatballs ever since.

Yes, and I went vegetarian for eight years after that. Wow. An Italian who has a distaste for meatballs. How about that? Do you remember the restaurant Dojo in New York? No. It was a very, very cheap, like sort of soyburger-y-type restaurant that was around. All the NYU people went there because it was so cheap and kind of good, I guess.

And then, but one day I went in there and got a salad with a friend, and there was a giant roach just in the salad, served in the salad. And she calls the waiter, it's like, she's like, don't eat that. That's what the waiter said. That is insane. Did you go back? I probably know, I'm sure I went back because it was so cheap.

Wow. Amelie, was this a Sunday gravy that you ate the hair out of? It might have been a Sunday gravy. Yeah, I think so. The Italians of three things. Sunday gravy, Christopher Columbus, and Trump. Yeah. Those are the three big ones. Those are the big three. So to ruin Sunday gravy seems horrible. I still got the other two, though.

Hey, buddy, you want to hear about my latest obsession? I'm talking about Mars men. No, I don't mean space aliens. I'm talking about something very different. Did you hit a wall in your mid-30s? You're doing the same workouts, eating the same diet, but you feel like you're moving through mud. Nobody tells you about this stuff. One day you're crushing it. Next day you're wondering, why everything feels twice as hard because there's a thing. Most men start losing testosterone around age 30, about 1% every year after that. Wow, that's why we love Mars Men. Here's what I learned. Your body makes testosterone, but a lot of it gets locked up and can't be used. There's this protein called SHBG that basically handcuffs your testosterone. Even if your body's making testosterone, SHBG locks it up so you can't access it. It's like having money in the bank, but your debit card doesn't work. Mars Men is designed to help free lock testosterone so your body can actually use

it. No synthetics, no needles, just real ingredients that help optimize energy, focus, and strength. We're talking about stronger physical performance. And hey, helping out your recovery in gym. And as you know, you get older, that recovery gets harder and harder, but going to the gym gets more and more essential. More consistent natural energy and other thing that dips with age, your energy, like your testosterone. own. Help that out with Margemen. It's not like drinking a cup of coffee. It's a steadier sense of drive throughout the

day. Supports healthy tea levels, energy and stamina. Eight natural clinically dosed ingredients. Tongat Ali, Shilajit, vitamin D, zinc, boron, and more. Made in the USA and third party tested. 90-day money-back guarantee so there's no risk. Worst case you don't absolutely love it and you get your money back, but over 91% of

users report higher energy levels. Thousands of guys are feeling incredible results. Just check out the reviews on the site to see for yourself. For a limited time, our listeners get 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts at men go to mars.com. That's men go to mars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them, Doe Boys sent you. You know, I've always been a big sleep man. I think everyone knows that about me. And, you know, a good night's rest sets you up for a great

day. And that's why I'm so happy with my Helix mattress. My Moonlight Lux, which I've had now for a good seven or so years, six, seven years, somewhere around there. I've had this mattress for a while, and I still love it. My Moonlight Lucks, I took the Helix sleep quiz. It matched me with this mattress. It feels like I'm sleeping on a cloud. I love it. My mom loves it. When she comes in and stays, I sleep on the couch. Don't worry, but my mom loves it. Wally and Irma, my cats, love it. It's a great mattress, the best mattress I've ever had. And Helix has over 20 mattress models so you can find the perfect model for you. That's right. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. and 120-night sleep trial in limited

lifetime warranty. Wow. Rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. The happy with Helix guarantee offers a risk-free customer-first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied, with your new mattress. Helix is the most awarded mattress brand, tested and reviewed by experts like Forbes and Wired and your old buddy the spoon man. Go to helixsleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off sitewide. That's HelixSleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off sitewide.

Helixleep.com slash doughboys. And start doing the little... Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett. No, no, no, no. I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good.

Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host the show What's Our Podcasts here on HeadGum. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet or you're like you're surfing through the web. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I know.

I like that I don't have to go around, you know, to like different stores or something. It's just all on my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the like. It's all in one place. The video or audio or like, no, I want it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please. Yes. And you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts.

You know, I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs. There are SEO tools, which I know what those are and their custom domains. Oh, what's come up with a domain right now? Let's see. I wonder if it exists. www. Friends meeting.

Friends. Friends meeting friends.com. That's an original thing that we came up with. Friends meeting friends. Anyway, so check out Squarespace.com slash headgum for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use off for code. Headgum, save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Hell, sounds easy.

Anybody could do it. We should get to our fork scores. David, you know of the podcast before. We touched on this before, but I do think that De Niro's had diarrhea, as my guess. He's probably had a bad Sunday grave, right? I think De Niro's probably had, Robert De Niroz probably had diarrhea in his life. I think so, too. Yeah.

I think probably everyone at some point has experienced diarrhea. I'd be interested, you know, if we have a listener who's made through this much of life without having diarrhea, let us know. That's interesting. I'd love to hear about that. Yeah, I'd love to hear from someone. Or if anyone who knows Robert Dernier or knows can confirm or deny that he has. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, yeah, if you have a personal connection to Robert De Niro and want to ask, we can get that data point. Earlier today, I did AMA on Reddit. And one of the things they said, they asked me some question about my fork score or something involving Amelia, and I can't remember what it was. But I guess we should look it up when she gets back in the bathroom. Wow. Oh, you have fork score from the last time you were here? I don't know. I figured out the question.

It was about something about you guys that they didn't know that I was doing this today. So it's just a real kismet. Yeah, how about that? I love that. And speaking of Fork Scores, we're going to do that now for Panera. Wow. And it's Salad Stuffer Promotion. David, we'll get a closing argument from you, if you will, and then a score from 0.5. Forks. Oh, I like those boots. Those are nice boots.

They're really cool. It's your classic, whatever they're called. I think they're very, a blunt stone. Yeah. I like the little pull tab in the front. That's fun. Yeah, so you can just easily grab them on both sides and put them on. How about that? Where's up by your bootstraps? You can literally do it.

Wow. So, how about that? You want my concluding? Yeah, your thoughts and your fork score for Panera. So specifically on the salad stuff. I'd see you can be, you can paint with as broad a brush as you like. Well, okay. So I will say, I don't hate the concept.

I didn't hate the sort of general taste of it. But the bread was very subpar. And the salad was like a little soggy. So that alone, I'm going to give maybe two forks, two and a half forks for. Can I do that? Yeah. And then overall, Panera, everything I saw and tried and ate, I'm going to go down to two. Wow.

Two forks. Yeah. What say you, Spoon, man? I didn't, these didn't bother me as much as, they didn't bother me as much as everyone else. I didn't, I didn't think that they were necessarily great. but I don't know. Maybe just the fast food's gotten so bad. And I kind of do like their Greek salad.

So having it in a thing of bread was fine to me. Like what kind of curve are we grading this on? I mean, I almost broke my tooth on top of that. So this is another issue. I'd say that the stuffers are like 2.75 to three forks. Yeah, 2.75. I'll give it 2.75. They're not great.

Two forks three times. And then for me, I think I'm going to lower my overall panera from five forks for this visit alone 3.75. I'll take it out of the Golden Play Club. You had it at 5? I had it at 4 soups specifically.

But I did a really great soup experience. I would say that I would normally put Panera for like a Greek salad and tomato soup. I put it at like four forks. I like it. But I don't think it makes that. I don't think it makes the Golden Plate Club anymore. Nothing we had, nothing we experienced was obviously as vile as

a salad that had a roach in it. But like David with Dojo, I did not like this Panera experience, but I'll probably go back to Panera because it's reliable, it's consistent, and if you order the right things like the mac and cheese, I think you can have a decent meal. But the right thing is not the salad stuffer. I mean, this, this LTO just doesn't work. And I think it's just, it's the low-quality bread and it's the soggy greens, which I'd rather just have in a salad bowl.

LTO. Yeah, I do like saying LTO. I can tell. For the mac and cheese alone, especially on the criteria of are you getting what you expect, I'll give it a five. Wow. Wow. Five forks from the mac and cheese.

The bag's not always bad. The bag's not always bad. The bag's not always bad. I gave it four forks last time, again, four soups alone. What can you get from bagged stuff? Is it Listeria? It is Listeria. From bagged.

Isn't it like from bag cheeses and stuff like that? And bad, yeah, and bagged. Or hysteria sometimes. You can't get hysteria. If it's so good. Right. If you're of the delicate feminine character. You can also get a stereo system.

You can get a stereo system. That's just an option you have. Amelia, did you see on the Reddit AMA something about asking about your forks? I did see that. What was that? Someone was asking you what your fork score was me as like a worker, as an assistant. Oh. Probably a one.

No, I would say, yeah. One. You know what? I think we're in the handholding club. I think one forks is pretty good. You were kind of an assistant two different times, and the second time was particularly bad. Yeah, yeah.

I just, I don't have the bandwidth for it. No. As far as I'm concerned, it's four, it's five forks behind the dais. Four forks to salmon went to Amelia. I just thought this, the sufferer, the stuffer was bad, And the other things that I had just did not impress me. This was a pretty disappointing outing.

I'm not going to go all the way to one fork because I just have affection for Panera. And I like that they're trying something. I just don't think this works. That's a millennial thing, the affection for Panera. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it is. I don't know.

Why do you have affection for Panera? It's just like, like I said, it's consistent. It's a place. You know what part of it is? As someone who is like sometimes has to work remotely, often has to work remotely. it's like I can go in there and get Wi-Fi. I can have a serviceable soup or a half sandwich. Break some bad news to somebody.

Yeah. Tell some of they're fired over Zoom. And then I can have... Fill up the bathroom. Exactly. But then I, and you know, the beverages, I think, are pretty good there. Like, like, you know, you get some decent coffee or whatever or some sort of soft drink. One of those drinks that kills you, I feel like, is up your rally.

No, I'm not going to get the charged lemonade. which killed several people and then remained on the menu for six months. But we talked about that last time, and it's not part of the fork score. My fork score for this visit is two forks. And I think one fork for the salad stuff, which just does not work. Rough outing. Yeah. Hey, that was our review of Panera.

It's time for a segment. We've got a food stuff. We're going to decide if you should put it in your mouth. It's snack or whack. And today, we have some tinned fish. Wow. This is like a hot girl item, I guess, right? The hot girls like the tinned fish.

And hot boys. Hot boys like me. Okay. This is a hot person item? Yeah. I wish I'd know. I think this is an influencer thing. Oh, no.

We're hot people like this because it's, and I assume it's just a... I'm going to keep everything with the package because it's otherwise... Got it. Can you hand me that for one second now? Can we do the thing where it's like, take it out of it? Ooh, ASMR. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we got this fish.

This is from Fishwife. Right here. What is what is what is what is what is what is a different I mean these are I'm a I'm a I'm a fin fish aficionado I love I eat tin fish almost daily wow I really really love it what what got you into it has this been a thing a long time I feel like I've definitely eaten sardines for a really long time and then they've exploded in popularity you know now they have these more like designery brands and they've there's so many different kinds but it's really you know actually very decent

quality, protein, healthy, delicious, easy, convenient. Ew. Snack slash meal. Sorry, one of those looks like cat food. They all look like cat food. That's what cat food is. It's similar to cat food. This was a gift.

One of these was a gift I brought in. I think my mom gave me this for Christmas. Yes, you got some, yeah, I want to return to the fishwife ones, which we, which were taste testing, which are the bulk of these. But there is one Mitch that you brought in, which is a King Oscar brand. So we've got these more like... You made some old-ass joke that no one got. We got some more contemporary, like artisan, you know, like small batch, whatever, the kind of ones that hot people like.

But then we've also got like the classic, like sort of old man one. And yes, you've got King Oscar in a can, which is a classic joke is, do you have King Oscar in a can? Well, let him out. Right. Yeah. I'm going to do an ASMR on this opening of this can right here. I said that my grandpa wouldn't even understand that joke. I think it's a pretty good joke.

All right. Now we could. That was, that was, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, might, make him out. That's a. No, it's not. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, that, we, we, we, was it, maybe it was. Maybe it was. Anyway, hmm, I don't know, man, might, might have been a different brand.

The thing though, also I'll say is, you can and I do eat this. sort of things right out of the can, but you also can do it with some mayonnaise or, you know, there's a million different things you can add to it. So it's put it in a salad or they're not all meant to only be eaten straight out of the can like we are right now. Got it. You just eat this fish like this? Yeah. You just eat it.

Yeah, you know that, eat that old bad boy. Really? Well, because like you see, some of them come in different flavorings already. They come in sardines with hot peppers. Some would come in a mustard sauce or a tomato sauce or a lemon sauce or, you know, and some of them come with just in packed in water and then you do whatever you want. with it. Some people don't like it. I often will pull out a tin fish

in a workplace and people make me leave. Some people find a repulsive. I will say the scent is quite strong here. It's quite potent. Yeah, no, a lot of people hate it. So we should maybe blaze through these and then get them out of the room to ventilates. That's a great point. Let's have the lingering fish stanch. I think you're hating it.

I get the King Oscar first. You want to try this, David? I'll start with the King Oscar. You know what's funny is that it's extremely fishy at first bite, and then it does kind of mild out as soon as you, as soon as you kind of eat more of it. It looks like this has some capers on top of it. Yeah, that's not. Peppercorns, I believe.

Oh, they're peppercorns. I apologize. These king oster's, this is an extraveralage in oliveo with spicy cracked pepper. I don't consider this the generic, like, classic as much. Like, there's, you can still get sardines from, like, chicken and the sea kind of thing. Right. This looks like salmon this one.

Oh, Smote Trout with Red Chimicherry. Great. Packed in Poland. Was Fishwife your pitch? Is this one of your go-to brands? Mm-hmm. Now, this is, that's fantastic. Fish White is a, yeah.

Smotech Trout with Timituri is great. Fish Weiss is a brand that's relatively new and it was started, I think, by this woman. And she, you know, put together all the packaging. It's like a very sort of TikTok. era type brand, but it's great. Mitch, because we're going to have this trip titch of of a tuna, I'm going to pitch that the next one we do is the

sardines with hot peppers. Sure. Also, they're particularly spicy. Sorry to pull us off. Let me go into Trout Town. God, this is good. Here you want this. Oh, sure, thank you.

Yeah, this one's filled to the brim. Trout is great. I'm going to Trout Town a little later. Honestly. Maybe I'll join you. That's damn good. with red chimy cherry. That kind of honestly tastes like Texas chili.

It's the same sort of like flavor profile. Why aren't they putting these into Italian stuffers? They should be the, the, yeah. A bunch of tin fish. Pretty good. I'll take one of those filled up with some fish. I love, like, I went to, I remember I went to a hotel in Nashville and you, order a drink and you get, they bring you a little tin with fish and the piece of

nice bread and what a great snack, you know. This one is very basic. Which one is this, why? This is sardines with hot. peppers. Oh, I can't. No, no, I moved that one over. So why did you do that? Well, because I couldn't reach the Smok Trout one. Let me get, let me get up.

This one is the Smok Trout. I don't need to be. It's not that spicy that one, but it's not bad. I love putting to in fish and salad. They're not all supposed to be spicy. But this would be, yeah, this is just a, well, it's spicy too. There's a little, the oil is a little bit spicy, I'm realizing, right? Yeah, very. I got a very spicy aftertaste, but good. Let me see how spicy this, this bad boy. is I am a bit of a heat seeker, so I do like a spicy.

Oh, yeah, there is an after-says. That was wrong. But a lot of times do you want to get a non-spicy or non-flavored one and then you mix it in with something of your own? Right. Now, is fishwife a take on hot wife, like hot wifing? I don't know. I think probably, yeah. All right.

Yeah, like the fish. Never mind. No, go on. I can't remember the shape of water. Oh, so like, we're all fucking a situation. Yeah, sure, okay. Yeah, you've got like a, like you're married to a human woman, but you're some sort of anthropomorphic fish creature, like a Prince Sidon from Breath of the Wild.

But you're into watching other fish creatures fuck your wife. But, you know, you'll go to a lot of these sort of fancy little stores on the east side in L.A. or wherever, and you'll see a big display of fishwife and other kind of hip brands of these. Mitch, let me pitch something real quick. Sorry, I'm not done. No, I think let's take the sardines off. And then let's just do all three of these, this trilogy of tuna right now. The trilogy of tuna.

So why don't you, no, I think just take all three of them. We can just taste and distro them as we go. I like that. So we've got the albacour tuna and olive oil. These do look the most like cat food of the bunch. Albuquer tuna with soy ginger and albuquer tuna with Spanish lemon. Are any of these like among your... One of them is,

literally cat food, but you have to guess. David, are any of these ones that we have here, like specific ones that you've had before, or ones that you order? Not really, actually. What do you go for? If it's a fishwife, I'll go for probably the, I don't go for the super spicy ones. I just happen not to usually choose those. Yeah.

But I'll definitely go with the flavorings if it's like, and it's sometimes in a tomato sauce or in a mustard sauce, I like that sort of thing. And then I also often will get like the muscles or the, the oysters or the squid or the mackerel or all those other things, you know, the more interesting or less common ones. I didn't know mackerel was an option. Oh, yeah. Wow.

And as they've gotten more popular, they're more and more different kinds of fish in the can. I read an article years ago about how at a certain point in federal prisons, they banned cigarettes, which cigarettes, of course, were kind of a de facto currency in the joint. So what became the next one is everyone went to, everyone. Everyone switched over to canned mackerel. Because there was a similar, I guess, shape, and they were like easy to stack and easy to track. So it was like cans of mac were how you purchase different items. You want to get a haircut and then four tins of mac.

I can't wait to throw all this tin fish away and for it to be in the head gum trash for like five days. I don't know if this should be thrown away because I think some of this stuff is really salvageable. I'm going to go to town on that after. But then I would put, I would just throw it in the little, you know, small wastebasket in the office. But what I was going to say, you know, I don't know if it's still there. There was a huge store in Times Square that was walls and walls and walls of tin fish from all over the world. Wow. All different kinds.

I got to say, I like this way more than I ever thought I would, all of these. Great. I'm kind of shocked. No, this is a thing. Like, I discovered as a kid via having some of my grandpa. that I liked sardines, and I was also shocked because I was like, these look disgusting. Why would I want to eat a whole slimy cold fish? But they're just like, you know, like they're salty.

They're oily in a very, like, fun way. Oh, wow. That's really good. This last one is the Spanish lemon, I guess, is really good. But, you know. All right. So if you keep going. I'm just saying what's great about this sort of thing is you can throw it in a backpack and it can be there for a year and then just take it out when you need it.

You know, like, yeah. Spire in 2030. Yeah. Wow. How about that shelf life? That's what I do camping. Yeah, you just have like smoked trout and a little camp. Yeah, just and it's had something in the car.

What, like when you're really, and it's, and it's not just like having a bag of peanuts or something. It's actually like a really, you know, real piece of food. I got to tell you that one in olive, that's just an olive oil is a standout for me. There's just something to what you're saying, the simplicity of it. It's just, and the quality. I also love to like wash it down with a little bit of regular plain water. You ever tried that? Oh, yeah.

Spanish lemon's good, too. I think it's tinfish summer, because I also started getting into tin fish just now. Well, and now that it's been featured on doughboys, forget about it. The soy ginger, I think, is maybe just a little too complicated for me. I just, I feel like I don't need that. I think less is more to get to going back to your point. I think it's a brand that's like they're trying a bunch of stuff because they need to keep expanding. but yeah, the basics are really great.

These are all winners. I would say snacks all around, including the, is it, Mitch was King Oscar, are you having a can? King Oscar, yes. Why don't you let him out? Very good. What the fuck does that joke mean? You know what I love?

A tin fish and a little cracker. Oh, that is really fun. Yeah. So the joke is just based around that brand. Yeah, a cracker would be great. A little piece of bread I thought would have been great to put some of the stuff on. Do you just go rogue with these? you're just like, I'm just going to pick some out and we're just going to know accoutrements.

We're just going to just go in pure. Yeah. I love it. I don't know how you do it? I mean, no, apparently. If you were listening at all, you might have heard. Oh, I wasn't listening for the past 10 seconds. I was reading a text message from Mitch.

There's an issue with our next recording. It is still fine, but do you want to maybe try to call them? Let's finish this episode and then we'll do it. Yeah. I mean, I'd go all the answer. I think the more professional thing would be to finish what we're doing. doing here, and then we'll deal with the next one. So I go snacks all around.

And I think they're all great. I think if I was going to rank my top three, I would probably go albacortuna olive oil, albacour tuna, Spanish lemon. Sorry, Spanish lemon third, olive oil second. And then there's just something, even though it has a little bit more going on. The smoked trout is just so high quality. And the red chimmy churry sauce, I think, actually does work. I would love to have that with a little bit more of a, you know, like some sort of base.

Like a drag on you hair on. I love the King Oscar. I thought was great. I said they're all snacks. Oh. It's just not my top three. What was your top three? Hmm.

I liked the Jimmy Churry one. Yeah, it was really good. That's in my top three. And then the tuna one you guys were talking about in olive oil is also my top three. And then you know what? Old King Oscar. I think the closest one I would say to. Someone should let him.

Whatever. King Oscar was no slouch. That's a really good... Oh, let him out. Is that the wrong setup? The one that's closest to whack for me is the albuquer tuna with soy ginger. But I still think it's a snack. What say you, David?

You got a favor here? Man, I know that I'm like the guy with the tin fish, but I really did like them all. Yeah. That soy ginger one I agree was maybe the least interesting. but and the super spicy ones just not really my main pick but then otherwise I love them all I really do. Good stuff.

Amelia, you got to try these out later because I know you always roll the dice. No, she said she's going to go to town. She's going to hoover these things. Sam, you, like you said you're a, wait, you're a camping guy. Yeah, sometimes, yeah. You got in the woods.

Do you have a, I guess you kind of got like a camping look? Just a gross, dirty look, yeah. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I mean, like a bag of bond. I mean, like, you got a guy You got a kind of guy who would handle yourself outdoors.

I grew up kind of going to Wisconsin a lot, so I like being outdoors. Right. Wait, so, but tin fish is like a regular thing you haul. And also I just like any seafood. I'm kind of like, yeah, I would try any. Wow. Being from the Midwest.

You and me. Yeah. I think it's, yeah. Well, maybe in your Midwest, it feels exotic. Oh, right. You got to put your meats. You got a storm for the winter. Big treat growing up for me was going to Charlie's crab.

And you're from Ohio originally, is it correct? Yeah. Okay. That sounds good. Great lakes. It was like, it was like a, you know, what you would now call like a mid-tier family seafood restaurant. Oh, did I love it?

That's, you know. Those places are going to be a blast. The only time I had lobster, you know, that kind of thing. How, how was it, as now that the time has gone by and you've had seafood on the coast? I have no idea how good it was. Yeah. Because I was a kid and I loved it, but it could easily have been terrible. I just don't remember.

That's, these were, these were all, they were, these are all snacks. Also, I'm right. The doughboys are going to eat them out of, uh, they're, they're, they're, going to be out of stock. Dope Boy's fans are going on. I have a shelf in my house that's stuffed with all these things. This would absolutely get me. Like, I have tin fish anyway.

I'll eat tin fish regularly. But this will absolutely have me try in some of these fish wife ones because there's some really fun. What do they do? What do they do? How do they cook the fish here? I don't know if they're cooked. None of them are.

Some of them have to be cooked. I think they might be cured or smoked. Smoked. Yeah. Okay, okay. I think. All right. No.

I'm realizing now we could have. Instead of snack or whack, we could have done, like, tin or bin or something. Fish or dish? So if it's good, it's a dish, and if it's bad, it's a fish? No, fish is good. Dish it means, like, you dish it out. This is not super on point, but we had a very famous old video called Dickfish, on which you can look up on YouTube.

There you go. That was snack or whack. Just like a restaurant, we have all your feedback. Let's over the feedback. Today's e-mails from Brady, aka Dunn number. one pussy eater. Oh, yeah. We know this guy.

I know I amyly picked this one. He writes, hello, do we talk to him before, the number one pussy eater. When do we, we talk to the number one pussy eater? I know we have. Was this that a live show or was this on the podcast? I don't know. It's very weird. I was told by at least a couple of ladies that I was the number one.

I actually have, and I didn't, I hate to disappoint, unfortunately. Yeah, I hate to disappoint both you and Brady, but apparently the number one pussy eater is a Dr. Toonzie. Oh, yeah. Coonsie. You make fun of Toonzie. He's a guy's a great dentist. I'm not making fun.

I trust you that he's a good dentist. I said that the dental says. I was like, this guy, I said, doctor, he left the room. I said, the best dentist in the world. And the dental system went, mm-hmm. And so she agreed with me. Loves her boss. Hello, dough boys.

If toothpaste was savory, what flavor would you like it to be? I'm thinking a tomato basil toothpaste with a beef broth mouthwash. Wait, what about you guys? Thanks so much. Yeah. If toothpaste, hey, this is all, this all fits in. This is wild. A toothpaste was savory.

Hmm. I'm N slash R for pussy for my number of my, I'm not the number one. I'm duh, N slash R pussy eater. Oh, I thought you meant DNR, like, do not resuscitate. I am also that. I have an answer for the question. Yeah, please. Pretzel.

Ooh. It's a good answer. Thank you. That's pretty, that's a great answer. It has to be food-based toothpaste. Yeah. I'm going, oh, it has to be savory. Yeah, that's the challenge doing something.

Because, of course, orange or cherry, you know, et cetera. You're going to have fun. I have one. Pesto. Pesto's not bad. Yeah, some sort of sauce. What are you talking about? Yes, it is.

Pesto is a good answer. Do you mean Pesto for toothpaste? Pretzel on a breath doesn't bother you. Yeah, I don't want to pesto. On a breath is kind of garlicy and bad. Oh, I didn't think about it. the lingering breath effects. Yeah.

Well, so maybe that's the mouthwashes that that's where we could consider it. What is, what is the, are they both, are they both savory or no? Yeah, that's the question. That's the question. That's the challenge of the problem. So it's just two different things. It's mouthwash and the toothpaste. They're savory.

I'm going to pitch for the toothpaste. I'm going to say nacho cheese. I think it just sort of like you think of like you dip your basically your toothbrush in the cup that you'd use for tortilla chips and then you kind of go in town. and then to get to dispense of that lingering stench, I think you would want something that was a little bit away from dairy, maybe with something with some aromatics. I'm going to say, could you do, could you do like a, like a fernet?

Because I don't think a fernet bronca as a sweet drink. I have no idea what that is. It's like a digestief. Oh, okay, sure. You know what, from the Midwest, you might know Malort. It's like a better malort. Okay. Yeah.

If that qualifies. I'm getting confirmation that peanut butter is savory. Come on. I think you've got to ask the pussy eater. Yeah, Brady, how come if you're the number one pussy eater, put your money where your mouth is, how come you didn't say pussy flavored mouth? Yeah, I have 100%. You really love it that much. Or sweet.

Depends. Why don't you be rubbing your teeth with labia if you fucking love that stuff? That's the next fish wife. You have dental floss right there. I feel like my answer, man, this is hard. This is a hard one. Yeah. My aunt, Sonny, used to use a labia mouthwash.

I'm going to go. Maybe I'll go with a steak. I like a steak. Steaks pretty good. Can I do a steak and potatoes? I think so. My second choice after pretzel was going to be French fries. French fries is pretty damn good.

And also pretty neutral. Like steak fries. Yeah. Yeah. So steak and potatoes. Sure. My tooth is steak. My toothbrush, my toothpaste is steak and my mouthwash is potatoes.

You know, I did think of a, I did have a different thought for my toothpaste and I'm going to change it. I would go with with wasabi. Because I think like it would be. Oh, that's refreshing. It's like, yeah. It's got like a pungent sort of quality to it. I don't know that that counts as savory, though. That's more like minty.

Maybe not savory enough. Okay, so I'll stick with nacho cheese. Thanks, Brady, aka Den number one, pussy eater. Hey, if you have a question on the top spot. Yeah, congrats, buddy. Hold on to that. Time to get a little wrap up. If you have a question or comment about the world of Shane Restaurant,

and you get email us at Feedback at birdfuck.com, or leave us a voicemail 830-go-o. That's 830-46-8-44. Our producer is Emma. Jesus Christ. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer is Emilie Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman.

Special thanks to our guest engineer today. Sam the Man Rogic. Thanks, Sam. having me, y'all. Appreciate you, Dogech. Do Boys merch at kinshipgoids.com slash doughboys and meals. The Munch Madness 2026 reheated rivalry finale is finally happening live on stream. Yes.

Get tickets at Birdpuck.com. We have the Munch Madness Live finale coming up. And we have some live shows coming up in November. Wow. We have a second show added in Austin. In Austin. Yeah. I'll be there.

David will be there. The whole gang will be there. be great. Check that out, birdfuck.com slash live and get the Do Boys double a weekly bonus episode plus our entire back catalog at Patreon.com. Who thought that the number one pussy were to be a Do Boys listener? Who would have thought? I'm impressed.

I know. It's great. We got a wide demographic. Once again, no, everyone would have to vote on that. Yeah, that's true. David Wayne, Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass, in theaters July 10th. Congratulations. Plug away the movie and then

then you've got some other things going on. The middle-aged dad jam band is touring later in July. We're doing a really special show, which is a tribute to the 25th anniversary of Wet Hot American Summer. So we're doing all sorts of music from the movie. We have guests from the movie.

We have clips that you've never seen and all sorts of fun stuff. And it's going to be a great rock and roll fun comedy night. And we're going to be in the East Coast. We're going to be in Roebuth. And we're going to be in Amagansett and New York City, Irving Plaza, and Rhode Island and Waterville, Maine.

Amazing. One of the funniest movies of, like you said, Wags, but also I grew up. I loved the state. I don't know if I gushed about this last time. I think we did gushed about this night. No, you did. Okay. And I appreciate it. I love the state. And the new movie is so funny. It's great. And people should go and see it and Stella and everything you've done over there. And if you're in LA, August 8th, we're doing a big outdoor giant screening of Wet Hot American Summer with the cast there and the band playing and all that. And then the movie gets re-released in theaters all over the country, August 14th. Wow. Wow. There you go.

Gail Dottry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. See that. Now in theaters, look for middle-aged dad jam band later in July and wet hot American summer being re-released in August. Hey, that'll do it for this episode of No. What a joy, guys. What a fun. What a fun we have. Pleasure to have you back. Please come back, David.

Anytime. That'll do it for this episode of Dobley. Until next time, for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Tiger Wiger. Happy Eaton. See ya. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan.

And we host the podcast, That Was Us Now on Head Gum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive. from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes.

A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday. That was a hate gum podcast.